OLN: Historic Legacy
Moderators: Fringe Security Bureau, Senior Editors, Senior Translators, Alt. Language Translator/Editor, Executive Council, Project Translators, Project Editors
-
- Vice Commander Itsuki
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 9:26 pm
- Favourite Light Novel:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
Map of Rofam province - Lugovia (v0.1 draft)
Sorry for the delayed updates. Real life keeps getting in the way. That, and awesome new games. Okay, okay, I confess. It was mainly the new games.
Spoiler! :
- gamerbaki
- Haruhiist Specialist
- Posts: 76
- Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
- Favourite Light Novel:
- Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
I just finished reading your OLN and let me give you my impressions on your work as a fellow writer.
The first two chapters of the story is well, a smooth read just like what the others earlier said.
It is an essential aspect if you want your story to remain consistent as well as to attract more online readers.
Even I, who is not fond of stories written in a literary format still managed to keep up with the flow of the story. (modern English language is enough for me)
Speaking of your story, I am wondering if you are using various tales during Middle Ages as a reference.
I even once thought that Arthur, who is one of the characters in the story is actually King Arthur of Camelot not until Edward and Rachel said about various things and they mentioned Rofam City (if my memory is right) which is a place I think don't exist in the Middle Aged Europe.
Also, the person named Lionheart--it seemed that I read about him somewhere, I can't simply remember where and when that happened.
Anyway, I'll keep an eye on the future developments in the story and hopefully, things will come in a most exciting way you could possibly think.
--gamerbaki
The first two chapters of the story is well, a smooth read just like what the others earlier said.
It is an essential aspect if you want your story to remain consistent as well as to attract more online readers.
Even I, who is not fond of stories written in a literary format still managed to keep up with the flow of the story. (modern English language is enough for me)
Speaking of your story, I am wondering if you are using various tales during Middle Ages as a reference.
I even once thought that Arthur, who is one of the characters in the story is actually King Arthur of Camelot not until Edward and Rachel said about various things and they mentioned Rofam City (if my memory is right) which is a place I think don't exist in the Middle Aged Europe.
Also, the person named Lionheart--it seemed that I read about him somewhere, I can't simply remember where and when that happened.
Anyway, I'll keep an eye on the future developments in the story and hopefully, things will come in a most exciting way you could possibly think.
--gamerbaki
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.
If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.
Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.
Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
- Shiratori
- Mikuru's Master
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Mon May 05, 2014 3:15 am
- Favourite Light Novel:
- Contact:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
Wow, I love that map. And that island in the middle of that "lake" that has a narrow canal, it's so fantasy like! Good job.
I've read the 1st chapter and part of the 2nd, and as someone said, it really is easy to follow. Looks promising, and that hooded guy (vilain?) with the blue sword is super cool.
Do you have the whole story plan laid out or you make up the story as it goes?
I've read the 1st chapter and part of the 2nd, and as someone said, it really is easy to follow. Looks promising, and that hooded guy (vilain?) with the blue sword is super cool.
Do you have the whole story plan laid out or you make up the story as it goes?
The writer who penned Clashing Feelings. You can buy the light novel on Amazon.
-
- Vice Commander Itsuki
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 9:26 pm
- Favourite Light Novel:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
Thanks to both of you for the feedback!
I'm glad that both of you found it a smooth read. To be honest, when writing this, I was really insecure about whether or not I've done enough to make it an enjoyable reading experience. There were many things I had wanted to include, but, upon review, those things could be revealed slowly throughout the later chapters.
@gamerbaki
It's interesting that you drew similarities between Middle Ages stories and the names of my characters. I'm not well versed in Middle Ages lore and what I do know of it comes from movies and video games. (note to self: do more research regarding the Middle Ages)
Regarding Arthur the wannabe hero, what better name is there for a wannabe hero than the name of an actual hero? The name itself would embody the heroic aspirations that character strives to achieve.
Well, at least that's how I'd like to think about it. In all honesty, I simply wanted my protagonist to have a heroic-sounding name and Arthur sounded like a nice name to have. Leonhart isn't exactly the same as Lionheart, but it sounds heroic enough.
@Shiratori
So you've noticed! I've always enjoyed the fantasy genre and that was my main inspiration for the map design.
I do have a general plan for the story. There are certain events I have planned and I have a solid idea of how these events should play out, but that's only it. A plan.
Even if I know where I want my story to go, I am unsure about the route to take to get there. It is like having a map that shows your current location and the location of your destination, but not the paths that you could take or even any geographical information about the area. It is like being stranded in a jungle and all the guidance you have is two dots on an otherwise blank map. So either I somehow manage to stumble across the destination, or I may be forever doomed to wander around in this literary jungle. Who knows, maybe I'll come across something even better than the original plan.
I'm glad that both of you found it a smooth read. To be honest, when writing this, I was really insecure about whether or not I've done enough to make it an enjoyable reading experience. There were many things I had wanted to include, but, upon review, those things could be revealed slowly throughout the later chapters.
@gamerbaki
It's interesting that you drew similarities between Middle Ages stories and the names of my characters. I'm not well versed in Middle Ages lore and what I do know of it comes from movies and video games. (note to self: do more research regarding the Middle Ages)
Regarding Arthur the wannabe hero, what better name is there for a wannabe hero than the name of an actual hero? The name itself would embody the heroic aspirations that character strives to achieve.
Well, at least that's how I'd like to think about it. In all honesty, I simply wanted my protagonist to have a heroic-sounding name and Arthur sounded like a nice name to have. Leonhart isn't exactly the same as Lionheart, but it sounds heroic enough.
@Shiratori
So you've noticed! I've always enjoyed the fantasy genre and that was my main inspiration for the map design.
I do have a general plan for the story. There are certain events I have planned and I have a solid idea of how these events should play out, but that's only it. A plan.
Even if I know where I want my story to go, I am unsure about the route to take to get there. It is like having a map that shows your current location and the location of your destination, but not the paths that you could take or even any geographical information about the area. It is like being stranded in a jungle and all the guidance you have is two dots on an otherwise blank map. So either I somehow manage to stumble across the destination, or I may be forever doomed to wander around in this literary jungle. Who knows, maybe I'll come across something even better than the original plan.
- Calculatrix
- Elite Haruhiist
- Posts: 82
- Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:02 pm
- Favourite Light Novel:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
It's the same for me, too. I haven't really planned out my whole story, but I know how I want it to end. I'm just kind of making stuff up as I go, although I do have a rough picture of what I'm writing and what I'm trying to get to. But I guess that's what makes it fun for me. I'm getting new ideas every day, sometimes even better than my old ones. Sometimes it's better to just write and not plan everything out, and sometimes it's better not to. Just personal preference though. Looking forward to the next chapter.caparo wrote:
Even if I know where I want my story to go, I am unsure about the route to take to get there. It is like having a map that shows your current location and the location of your destination, but not the paths that you could take or even any geographical information about the area. It is like being stranded in a jungle and all the guidance you have is two dots on an otherwise blank map. So either I somehow manage to stumble across the destination, or I may be forever doomed to wander around in this literary jungle. Who knows, maybe I'll come across something even better than the original plan.
Author of "Weaver of Chaos" and "Code : Reality"
- Shiratori
- Mikuru's Master
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Mon May 05, 2014 3:15 am
- Favourite Light Novel:
- Contact:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
As for me, I had almost everything planned beforehand. However, I changed a lot as I wrote it, because the characters kind of got a life of their own and so the story flowed really well and ended up slightly different and much bigger.
But in the beginning, I kind of new what scenes I wanted to include. They just got slightly different and out of order in the end product. And I even changed the end too
But it's good that you know where it is headed. b
It looks like your story will be very long, but don't give up. You have to reach the end, definitely. Good luck!
But in the beginning, I kind of new what scenes I wanted to include. They just got slightly different and out of order in the end product. And I even changed the end too
But it's good that you know where it is headed. b
It looks like your story will be very long, but don't give up. You have to reach the end, definitely. Good luck!
The writer who penned Clashing Feelings. You can buy the light novel on Amazon.
-
- Vice Commander Itsuki
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 9:26 pm
- Favourite Light Novel:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
Indeed. There were times where new ideas would pop up that doesn't fit into the original plan. But you wouldn't really know if the end result would be better or worse until you had actually walked down the newly revealed path. It is like a gamble of sorts. Taking the risk with a new idea may eventually pay off or it may be a dud.Calculatrix wrote: Sometimes it's better to just write and not plan everything out, and sometimes it's better not to.
Lol I understandShiratori wrote:I kind of new what scenes I wanted to include. They just got slightly different and out of order in the end product. And I even changed the end too
Thanks for the encouragement! As this is my first serious attempt at writing fiction, I intend to keep going until the end.Shiratori wrote:It looks like your story will be very long, but don't give up. You have to reach the end, definitely. Good luck!
For the next chapter, I'm currently playing around with a few different ideas. Wow, taking the first step into the literary jungle is scary. Who knows where it will end up. I need to think about this carefully ..... ah, who cares, lets just write and see where it ends up
- gamerbaki
- Haruhiist Specialist
- Posts: 76
- Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
- Favourite Light Novel:
- Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
I agree on what the other said.
Just don't give up and try to reach the end of the story.
That is one of the important asset a writer should have.
Just don't give up and try to reach the end of the story.
That is one of the important asset a writer should have.
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.
If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.
Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.
Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
-
- Vice Commander Itsuki
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 9:26 pm
- Favourite Light Novel:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
Chapter 3
(Re-writing in progress)
Part 1 complete
Part 1
(Re-writing in progress)
Part 1 complete
Part 1
Spoiler! :
Last edited by caparo on Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:03 am, edited 10 times in total.
-
- Vice Commander Itsuki
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 9:26 pm
- Favourite Light Novel:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
I've decided to re-write chapter 3. I felt that the current version didn't deliver well enough story-wise, and the narrative needed a lot more work.
30/9 Update: part 1 complete
28/10 Update: part 2 complete (see next post)
30/9 Update: part 1 complete
28/10 Update: part 2 complete (see next post)
Last edited by caparo on Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:39 pm, edited 11 times in total.
- gamerbaki
- Haruhiist Specialist
- Posts: 76
- Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
- Favourite Light Novel:
- Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
Finally! An update!
I just skimmed the latter chapter and it seems that the intensity of the story is starting to rise at this point.
Gotta make some intensive reading on it once I got home from school.
I just skimmed the latter chapter and it seems that the intensity of the story is starting to rise at this point.
Gotta make some intensive reading on it once I got home from school.
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.
If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.
Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.
Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
-
- Vice Commander Itsuki
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 9:26 pm
- Favourite Light Novel:
Re: OLN: Historic Legacy
Chapter 3 Part 2
Edit: Changed Sigurd's name to Sigmund.
update: I have a draft of the next part but its not good enough. Am currently in the process of rewriting it.
Update 2: the biggest obstacle right now, and the reason why I'm rewriting the next part, is how to describe high level combat in a way that can be understood when all/most of the combat and magic system had yet to be shown. I'm having second thoughts at jumping straight into a boss fight before even introducing the tutorial.
Edit: Changed Sigurd's name to Sigmund.
Spoiler! :
update: I have a draft of the next part but its not good enough. Am currently in the process of rewriting it.
Update 2: the biggest obstacle right now, and the reason why I'm rewriting the next part, is how to describe high level combat in a way that can be understood when all/most of the combat and magic system had yet to be shown. I'm having second thoughts at jumping straight into a boss fight before even introducing the tutorial.