Hello everyone. Sorry, I'm quite new at this so sorry if I'm a bit rude. Anyway, I've been trying to write OLN on my own. But, problem is, I don't know if it is good enough or not. I want a second opinion on it. So, can anyone please give me some?
Here is the summary of the novel :
"In a world similar to ours, there are people called Haeres. They have better strength, reflect, and flexibility than normal people. However, what really distinguished them from normal human is their ability to pull out weapon from another dimension called Arma. Because of their unique skills, people often give them request with equal payment.
Miles Veritas is an Haeres from Heilig City in Isend Country. His Arma is a double-edged green sword named Verdant Sword. One day, he dreamed of a girl without any other color except gray. As he didn’t understand anything about that dream, he decided to ignore it and take on request like he always does. Unknown to him, the request he is about to take is what will drag him into a bigger problem."
And, here is the link to chapter 1: https://fictstory.wordpress.com/2015/03 ... gray-girl/
Sorry, there is only one chapter for now. I want people's opinion before I posted the second one. So, please give me some. All positive responses are appreciated. Thank you very much.
OLN: Haeres Eve
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- VOID UNDEAD SPECTOR
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- VOID UNDEAD SPECTOR
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Re: OLN: Haeres Eve
Um... which one you don't understand? My post in this forum or in my blog?
If it is the post in this forum, then let me explain it more clearly. I'm only asking for opinion on the novel I wrote, whether it is good or not.
If it is the post in my blog, well, I don't want to make any excuse about it. I'm only a novice writer and I don't know other people's view of it. If you don't understand about it, can you please tell me why? Is it because of the language or the narration or anything? I will try to fix it so it can be read.
If it is the post in this forum, then let me explain it more clearly. I'm only asking for opinion on the novel I wrote, whether it is good or not.
If it is the post in my blog, well, I don't want to make any excuse about it. I'm only a novice writer and I don't know other people's view of it. If you don't understand about it, can you please tell me why? Is it because of the language or the narration or anything? I will try to fix it so it can be read.
- cud-b-better
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Re: OLN: Haeres Eve
Well let's give this a go prepare yourself as I'm quite critical. If you're one to take things to heart or personally then please don't open the spoiler. I write everything with the intention of helping improvement which unfortunately doesn't work with sugar coating. So remember everything is written in best intentions and if it upsets you, I'm sorry.
In the spoiler are a few minor tweeks that I suggest, I didn't write everything I noticed. Feel free to ignore.
I hope my feedback is helpful, don't be discouraged though. The mistakes you've made I'm guilty of as well. If I thought your story was unredeemable I wouldn't even be writing this feedback. Keep at it. And sorry for my grammar I wrote this all in a hurry.
Cud.
Spoiler! :
In the spoiler are a few minor tweeks that I suggest, I didn't write everything I noticed. Feel free to ignore.
Spoiler! :
Cud.
If you love something you should try your hand at it. My pride and joy is everyone else's nightmare. https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3068594/1/Soul-Anomaly <-- My light Novel, I promise you'll laugh.
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Re: OLN: Haeres Eve
I like how critical your critique is, care to do mine too? I'm trying to improve on my style.cud-b-better wrote:Well let's give this a go prepare yourself as I'm quite critical. If you're one to take things to heart or personally then please don't open the spoiler. I write everything with the intention of helping improvement which unfortunately doesn't work with sugar coating. So remember everything is written in best intentions and if it upsets you, I'm sorry.
Spoiler! :
In the spoiler are a few minor tweeks that I suggest, I didn't write everything I noticed. Feel free to ignore.I hope my feedback is helpful, don't be discouraged though. The mistakes you've made I'm guilty of as well. If I thought your story was unredeemable I wouldn't even be writing this feedback. Keep at it. And sorry for my grammar I wrote this all in a hurry.Spoiler! :
Cud.
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Re: OLN: Haeres Eve
I like how critical your critique is, care to do mine too? I'm trying to improve on my style.cud-b-better wrote:Well let's give this a go prepare yourself as I'm quite critical. If you're one to take things to heart or personally then please don't open the spoiler. I write everything with the intention of helping improvement which unfortunately doesn't work with sugar coating. So remember everything is written in best intentions and if it upsets you, I'm sorry.
Spoiler! :
In the spoiler are a few minor tweeks that I suggest, I didn't write everything I noticed. Feel free to ignore.I hope my feedback is helpful, don't be discouraged though. The mistakes you've made I'm guilty of as well. If I thought your story was unredeemable I wouldn't even be writing this feedback. Keep at it. And sorry for my grammar I wrote this all in a hurry.Spoiler! :
Cud.
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- VOID UNDEAD SPECTOR
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Re: OLN: Haeres Eve
That's exactly what I wanted. Thank you for the feedback. I'll try to improvise it.