I changed mainly the last section for the comma, for the question. Do you think I should change the word "scared" as well? I see what you mean. The sentence ends with "だよね" which is like seeking for affirmation, not necessarily a question. Kind of like a rhetorical question, but with some expectation of an answer. Yay for my learningEveryday guys at the academy want to confess to her, but since they are too scared to confess, they can only admire her from afar, so isn't it unbelievable you don't know her?
Also, I'm not updating it (going to wait until I finish the next part, but I'm about half-way through Sierra's section. The last section before the teaser.), but I've officially got about ~21% of the first chapter done, with only 16% on the Wiki. So if there is anything else that looks questionable, please bring it up before I upload the next section, because then there will be more content to get in the way.
I'm hoping tomorrow easy though, I will hit the 37% mark. (as long as I can do 3.5 pages, plus my "excerpt," that will push it to a grand total of 37% by tomorrow ) and tomorrow is Saturday .
Anyway, I really appreciate all the help you guys have been giving me so far, and I'll look forward to it in the future ^_^.
On another note Trabius, if you remember the sentences you had a question about, (don't know if you read you wiki d-page) but you were right. It was wierd. The reason? I somehow missed copying a sentence over from my english text document, over to B-T. You've scared me, so now I'm re-reading to make sure I've got it all
But going form 16-37% tomorrow, that makes me happy