Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 08

2007-06-07T02:01:17Z

202.14.216.129:

4

I tell Tohko-san about the situation, and have her protect Keita. She lets the boy, who hasn't slept since the night of the incident, on to her sofa and comes back into the office where Shiki and I are waiting. Tohko-san sits on her chair and Shiki is leaning up against the wall. I am sitting on the sofa directly in front of Tohko-san. Finally calming down after Keita falls asleep, they both tell me that I am too good-natured. I take their words of criticism with a sullen face.

"I knew you guys were going to make fun of me like that."

"If you knew, you shouldn't have involved yourself in this mess. You're easily taken advantage of by those kind of guys.."

"It can't be helped. The situation was special."

Tohko-san ponders my response. She is using offensive words, but she did agree to take Keita in for protection. Shiki, however, is against it. She might be really mad, as she is glaring at me wordlessly.

"Special case, huh? I do admit this is an abnormal case but what are you going to do now? Are you thinking about looking for her and persuading her?"

"...... I'm thinking so. We can't have him here forever and Asagami Fujino might continue killing people. I think I can only go see her and talk to her."

"You idiot. That's why we say you're too good-natured."

Shiki holds nothing back. She never does, but she is rather offensive today. She really is mad.

"You won't be able to talk to her, it's too late. She won't stop until she accomplishes her goal. No, I don't even know if she'll stop then. Her means and intention are reversed."

"Shiki, you sound like you know her."

"I know her, and I've met her too. She was there with Azaka yesterday."

I'm surprised. I wonder why Azaka would be with Asagami Fujino. They are totally unrelat--.... I guess not. I only heard that she is a high schooler but it's a different story if she is from Asagami Ladies Academy.

"You're pretty slow, Kokuto. You haven't investigated Asagami Fujino yet?"

"Hey now, I only heard her name for the first time two hours ago. My role was to protect Minato Keita, so I didn't have time to do anything like that."

... But I have a bad feeling about this. It's not that I'm worried that Azaka might be involved... it feels more like the impatience you feel when you are forced to think about something you've been avoiding.

"... Then is Asagami Fujino still going to school?"

"No, she hasn't been home or back at the dorms since the night of the incident. She's been skipping school too: she has completely disappeared. Azaka said she hasn't seen her since yesterday."

"Tohko-san, when did you research this?"

"Just a while ago. I received a search request from her parents. I heard Azaka was with Asagami Fujino yesterday from Shiki but it seems Azaka didn't notice anything wrong with her friend."

What irony, if my promise with Azaka was a day later or if I had found found Keita faster, yesterday's victim might not have been killed.

"So the protection of Minato Keita is not meaningless to us. If we cannot find her, we can use him as bait. It'll get rough from there so you and Keita should stay here."

With that, I finally understand... the reason why Shiki is here.

"Rough......? What are you going to do with Asagami Fujino?"

"Depending on the circumstances, we'll probably have to resort to combat. First of all, even the client wishes it. He doesn't want his daughter reported as a killer. He told us to get rid of her before it all goes public."

"What? It's not like she's committing meaningless murders...! I think a discussion is possible."

"That's impossible. You haven't heard the whole truth. You don't know the final blow she took when she killed them. I made Keita confess when I put him to sleep. I heard that his leader attacked Fujino on the last night with a knife. It seems she was stabbed. That's what triggered her revenge."

... Knife... so she was threatened with a knife even after being violated? So why would that be the reason she's beyond help?

"The problem is right there. She was stabbed in her stomach on the night of the 20th. Shiki saw her two days later. At that time, she had no wound... she was completely healed."

"Stabbed in the stomach......"

Hold on. Don't think anymore. My mind tries to stop me but fails. On the night of 20th, student of the Reien Academy, stabbed in the stomach......

"I heard it from Keita, but she says on the phone that she cannot forget because the wound keeps on hurting. The wound that healed starts to hurt. Probably, whenever she has a flashback of the times when she was violated, the pain of being stabbed returns. The horrible memory brings back the terrible pain. I believe the pain is an illusion, but it must be real for her. This is no different than a fit. Every time Asagami Fujino has a flashback of the pain that doesn't even exist, she kills. Who can be sure that won't happen while you're talking with her?"

But that means we can talk to her if she doesn't feel the pain. But before I can say so, Shiki speaks out.

"That's wrong, Tohko. She really feels pain. It's still in her body."

"That can't be. Then, Shiki, is it your mistake that her wound is completely healed?"

"Her stab wound is healed. There's nothing like a piece of metal in her. Her pain really did appear and disappear. It's already too late when she's in pain, but when she's not, she's too boring. I told you that I came back 'cause she wasn't even worth killing."

"Well, she would be already dead if a fragment of metal were still inside her... but a wound that still hurts after it's healed, huh?"

Tohko-san takes out a cigarette as if saying she doesn't understand. I too can only wonder at Shiki's words. It's normal to be in pain until the wound heals. But why would the pain of a wound that's already healed come back from time to time? That's like having only the sense of pain remaining in your body.

"... Oh."

And it hits me. It's not an answer to her unknown symptoms, but I am able to understand why Keita called her weird.

"Kokutoh, is that some new way of staying healthy by saying vowels out loud?"

... I don't think anyone would do such a thing, even if it existed.

"No, about Asagami Fujino being weird."

Tohko-san raises her brow. Oh, I only told her the summary of the story, so I guess I haven't told her about this yet. I tell her about the strange condition of Fujino.

"Isn't something strange? It was in the conversation with Minato Keita, but it seems she was unaffected by anything they did to her. I thought she was a strong girl at first, but I was wrong. She isn't that resolute of a person."



"...... You sound like you know her, Mikiya."

Shiki glares at me. My instincts tell me to ignore her. ... I might be digging myself a hole if I didn't.

"It's possible... I don't know that much about it, but I think she might have something like Paresthesia, or pain insensitivity."

Pain insensitivity is just as it sounds, a disorder where one cannot feel any pain. It's a very rare condition, so you never encounter it, it but if that happens to be the case, her strange symptoms might be possible.

"I see. Then that can explain some things, but there should be a reason. Even if she did get stabbed, if she is pain insensitive, there wouldn't be any pain to start out with. You also need to check if she was born with it and you also have to know if her nerves are dissociated. Well, assuming that she is pain insensitive, is there anything that might cause this insensitivity to malfunction, like hitting her back hard or taking lots of steroids?"


Hitting her back hard... it must be that.

"I don't know how hard, but I heard they hit her in the back with a bat."

I say this as unemotionally as possible. Tohko-san just laughs.

"I see. As it's them, they probably took a full swing. Her backbone might have been broken. Even small fracture is considered a broken bone. And she was still violated even after her backbone was broken, not knowing what that feeling is. Geez, that's the first pain she feels, huh? She must have not understood what her irritation was. Wow, I'm surprised you decided to protect Minato Keita."

Tohko-san says so, grinning. She has this bad habit of cornering someone with her words. I guess she likes to attack people mentally, and it usually ends up being me. I usually fight back, but I cannot answer right now. ... I don't have the confidence to. All I could do is look down and reject her response.

"... So, Tohko-san, are the backbone and pain insensitivity related somehow?"

"Yeah, your spine controls your nerves, right? When you have a problem with your sense of pain, you usually have something wrong in your spine. Do you know of Syringomyelia?"

... I would not know of such a technical medical term. Tohko-san lowers her shoulders in disappointment when I shake my head.

"Syringomyelia is the most common case of pain insensitivity. Listen, Kokuto, there are two types of sense. ''Superficial sensation'' that lets you feel such things as pain, temperature, and touch. And there's ''deep sensation'' that tells you of your body movements and general area. Normally, these two senses work at the same time. Do you know what it means to have no senses at all?"

"I can put it in words. You won't feel anything that you touch, and you won't taste anything that you eat, right?" 

Tohko-san nods with a smile.

"That's a natural response of a person with senses. You think they don't have senses but have a body, so they are like you. But that's wrong. To have no sense means that you cannot gain anything, Kokutoh."

Cannot gain anything...? No way. They should still be able to hold things and talk to others. Then that would only mean that they cannot feel what they are touching. Why would that lead to not being able to gain anything? It's not like they don't have their body. I think it's better than someone missing a part of their body or something.

Then I realize. ...... No body. Even when they touch, they cannot feel that they are touching. They just look at it and confirm that they are "touching". That is the same as reading a book. What's so different about it from reading a book or imagining  a story? Even when they walk, they are only moving their body. They do not feel the ground, but only feel their feet moving. No, even that feeling is barely confirmed by looking at their own feet. To have no sense means not having a body. That would make them no different from ghosts. For them, all reality is what they see through their eyes. That's the same as not being able to touch anything even if they really can touch...!!

"So that's pain insensitivity, huh?"

... That night, I met a girl who was uncertain about reality.

"That's right. Let's assume Asagami Fujino's pain insensitivity temporarily went away from being hit in her back. Then that would mean she knows what pain feels like. That sense she has never felt before must be her impulse for murder."

Would that girl, who found out what pain feels like, hate such a sensation? No, it would be impossible for her to think so. ... Since she is like a ghost, I can only imagine how happy she must have been when she felt the sensation of pain. She would have not understood the feeling of happiness either, though.

"... Maybe the pain insensitivity went away temporarily, and her experiencing pain might have caused her to figure out the emotion of hate. The feeling of pain she finally obtained triggered her revenge..."

... What irony.

"That's the question. Fujino said that she is taking revenge because her wound is hurting, but I have to wonder. To be more accurate, her pain makes her recall the violations done to her which makes her want to take revenge. I think this is how it is but it just doesn't feel right. First of all, according to Shiki, she's back to pain insensitivity, right? Then that would take away her reason for revenge. Her wound should not hurt since it's healed."

"That's wrong, Tohko-san. To have no feelings must mean she cannot experience sexual stimulation either; so she could not feel anything even when they raped her. To her, it only means that her body was raped. But... no, because of that, instead of her body hurting, her heart was taking the pain. I think her wounds are not on her body but rather in her soul. That's why the pain comes back with the memory, because her heart is in pain."

Tohko-san does not answer. In her place, Shiki starts to laugh.

"That's impossible. There's no such thing as a soul . How can something that's not there hurt?"

I can't think of any comebacks to what she says. Surely, something sentimental, such as a soul, is not something you can prove to exist. When I am just standing there silently, Tohko-san disagrees with Shiki.

"But people's hearts, their minds, are easily broken. I don't think you can conclude that it can't be hurt just because it has no form. In reality, some people die because they are hurt mentally. No matter how poor of an illusion it is, as long as it is true for the person, the illusion can be called "pain"."

That's a rather ambiguous answer for her. But now, I have someone on my side. Shiki gets angry.

"What, Tohko, are you siding with Asagami Fujino too? She's not like that."

"Yeah, I feel the same way with respect to that. I don't think Asagami Fujino would be that sentimental. She takes revenge because her heart hurts? I don't think so. Because, if you're pain insensitive, even your heart won't feel pain."

She instantly sides against me.

"Look, personality is medically defined as "a phenomenon by which a person reacts to outside force". A person's emotions... such things as "kindness" and "hate" cannot just come from within. They would not function unless something from outside stimulates them. That's why there is pain. To not have pain means this cannot happen. People with pain insensitivity lack personality. They do not think like you or have tastes similar to us. They do not understand common sense. That's why talking with her is meaningless."

She casually tells me the conclusion of the suggestion of talking to her. Her indifference seems rather like a last warning and puts me on the edge.

"... Please don't say that when you haven't even met her."

I stand up from the sofa, not being able to take it any longer.

"That's all under the assumption that Asagami Fujino has been pain insensitive since she was born. This might not be the case."

"You're the one who said she might be pain insensitive."

She says so coldly. ... This person really does not care about others. How can she be so cold to Asagami Fujino when she's a woman? Or is it that she can be this cold ''because'' she is a woman?

"Well, I do have things that I'm concerned about too. Asagami Fujino might be just a victim. The question is which was first."

... What does she mean by "which was first"? Tohko-san starts to ponder and does not explain anymore.

"What do you think, Shiki?"

I ask her without turning around. Shiki answers exactly as I expected.

"Same as Tohko. But I can't allow Asagami Fujino to continue, regardless of what Tohko thinks. I feel sick just by thinking that she might commit another murder."

"Hate towards those similar to you, huh? It does seem true that your kind doesn't like to form groups."

Tohko-san hears Shiki's words. I know why Shiki said so. ... When will Shiki realize herself that she really does not like murder? Asagami Fujino and Ryohgi Shiki, I do think the two are alike. Since they are similar, they cannot forgive the crucial difference. If the two did end up in combat... would Shiki realize her true feelings? No, I can't let them fight.

"...... I understand. I'll look into her information my way. Can I see any data on her if you have any?"

Tohko-san hands it to me. Shiki looks away telling me to do as I please. Looking at the information, Asagami Fujino was living in Nagano until elementary school. Her surname there was not Asagami as in "Shallow Top" but Asagami as in "Shallow God". Her father right now is not her real father, meaning that she followed her mother when she remarried. I guess this would be the place to start my investigation.

"I have to travel quite a long way. I may not come back today or tomorrow. Oh, and Tohko-san. Is there really any such thing as supernatural power?"

"You don't believe what Minato Keita said? Asagami Fujino surely has some sort of power to that effect. That. The term "supernatural power" is too broad, so it's not really that accurate. If you want to know about it, I can introduce you to a specialist."

Saying that, Tohko-san writes the address of this supernatural power-specialist on the back of her business card.

"Wait, you don't know much about it?"

"Of course not. Magic is a study. How can we associate ourselves with something inherent without history or theory violating the rule? Those kind of powers only given to the chosen ones are what I hate the most."

She really must hate it, as she sounds like she has her glasses on. I take her business card and then speak to Shiki.

"Shiki, I'm going but make sure you don't push yourself."

"You're the one pushing yourself. I guess it really is true that stupidity can't be fixed."

Shiki uses these offensive offensive words, but then nods, saying she'll try. I leave the office with relief. It's alright, I've never died but I was almost killed once. I haven't told her that the one who almost killed me was Shiki herself. She forgot about that incident after she recovered from her coma - it's fine if she does not remember.

I will probably never tell her about it.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 03

2007-06-05T06:05:17Z

202.14.216.129:

／3

It is a custom for the successor to the Ryougi family to have a match with the master using a real sword at the beginning of each month. The head of the Ryougi household many generations ago got tired of inviting many masters from abroad, so he made a dojo in his own house and made many new schools. This has been passed on until today and unfortunately, even a girl like me is required to wield a sword.

After finishing the match against my father, who surpassed me in both skill and strength, I head to my room. The distance between the dojo and the main house building is as far as, for example, a gym would be from a school building. I walk along the wooden floor, which does not creak even once. On the way, Akitaka is waiting for me. Akitaka, who is my servant, should be at least ten years older than me. He is probably waiting to help me change out of my sweaty clothes.

"Good job! Did your father say anything?"

"Same as always. Get lost, Akitaka. I can change by myself. You too, you're not like my personal servant. It's better for you to go to my older brother. In the end, it's the man that's succeeding."

Akitaka smiles at my harsh words.

"No, there can be no other successor than you. You brother did not inherit your nature."

"What's so good about this nature?"

I leave Akitaka and head back to the building. Locking myself up in my room, I take off my gi. I stare at the mirror... A woman's body is reflected back at me. If I were put on some make-up, and pull a scary face, I might be able to look like a guy; but there's nothing that can be done about the body. My body, that grows every day, that is sending SHIKI into despair.

"Maybe I should have been born a guy."

I talk aloud to no one. No, there is someone I can talk to. Inside me, another personality called SHIKI. All children of the Ryougi family are prepared two different names with the same pronunciation. The name of the yin, a name as a man. The name of the yang, a name as a woman. Since I was born female, I was named Shiki, which means "equation" or "form". If I would have been born male, I would have been named SHIKI, which means "to weave". Why do we do this? It's because the Ryougi family produces children with a high probability of having split personalities.

Just like me.

Father said the Ryougi family has the heredity of a transcendent race. He also mentioned that it is a curse. It is indeed a curse. To me, this is not transcendent, but just abnormal. Fortunately, no successor has been of this nature for several generations. The reason is simple... they all ended up in the mental hospital before maturity. It's very dangerous to have two personalities in one body. The boundary between realities becomes vague and there have been many cases of suicide. But despite it all, I grew up without showing any sign of insanity. It's because me and SHIKI ignored each other.

The right to the ownership of the body is completely mine. SHIKI is only a substitute personality, one that I switched to for the match earlier, since his aggressive personality fit the situation more suitably. Come to think of it, SHIKI and I are existing at the same time. This is different from what people know as a "split personality". I am Shiki, but at the same time, I am also SHIKI. It's just that I have the ownership of the body.

Father was happy that he could produce the rightful successor of the Ryougi family in his generation. That's why I'm treated as the successor, disregarding my male brother. That's fine, I take what's given to me. I probably thought I would lead this somewhat distorted normal life forever. I knew I could only lead such a life...

...Yes, even if SHIKI is a killing monster, I am not able to make him disappear. Since I have "SHIKI" in me, I am Shiki just like him.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 04

2007-06-05T04:29:01Z

202.14.216.129:

→／3

''---------The bone in my nape creaks.

''Is the cold that's making me tremble coming from outside or inside my body?''

Leaving what can't be distinguished aside, Shiki keeps walking.

There's no sign of human activity at the Fujiyoh building.

''It's two in the morning. Only the white light illuminates the hallway of the mansion. The cream-colored walls are bathed in light and I can see to the end of the hallway. The light which steals away the darkness feels eerily artificial and unnatural.

''Passing by the card checker at the entrance, I enter the elevator.

''It's empty inside. A mirror is bolted to the rear panel of the elevator for the convenience of the passenger. Watching me with lazy eyes from the inside of the mirror is someone wearing a black leather jacket over a light blue kimono. Eyes that look like they care about nothing.''

Shiki glances at the figure in the mirror, and pushes the button that says "R". With a small start-up sound, the world around Shiki rises. The motor-driven box will reach the top floor in a matter of seconds.

It is a closed-off room for the time being. Nothing occurring outside right now concerns Shiki, and it is impossible to be concerned with the outside world. That feeling seeps into the supposedly empty mind. This small box is the only world I'm supposed to feel right now.

The door opens without a sound. What's outside is a totally different world, a world of darkness.

After arriving at the annex, containing only the door leading to the rooftop, the elevator leaves Shiki and descends back towards the first floor. There are no lights, and her surroundings are painfully dark.

Heading across the small room, Shiki pushes open the door to the rooftop.

... The deep darkness becomes faint.

''The outline of the city fills my vision.''

The rooftop of the Fukiyoh building is a plain one. The floor is made of flat concrete, and there is a fence that surrounding the perimeter of the roof. A solitary water tower stands atop the annex, but there is nothing else particularly significant.

The rooftop itself is a plain one, but the view from it is out of this world.

The view of the night town from this building that is at least ten stories higher than its surroundings feels perhaps more lonely than beautiful. It feels like you're on top of a tall ladder looking down onto the world. The depths of this sea view, however, are certainly beautiful. The electric lights dotted here on there give off a warm luminescence like that of an anglerfish.

''If my view right now is that of the whole world, then the world right now is indeed asleep, as if eternally, but fortunately it's only temporary. The silence tightens my heart more than any coldness, and it is rather painful...

''The coldness of the night sky stands out as just much as the coldness below. If the town is the deep sea, then the sky is just pure darkness. In the darkness, stars glitter like jewels. The moon is a void in this darkness - a large hole in a big black canvas known as the night sky. So that thing is really not a mirror of the sun, but rather a view of "the other side"... That's what I heard at the house of the Ryougi. According to them, the moon is a gate to another world.''

Since ancient times, the moon has carried magic, women, and death. And with that moon behind it, a human form is floating...

... With eight girls flying around it.

◇

The white figure in the night sky is that of a woman. She wears a fancy white garment that one might mistake for a dress, and has long black hair reaching down to her waist. Her arms and legs are slender, and they make this woman look even more beautiful.

''The thin brow and the cold eyes are beautiful. I can estimate she's in her twenties. Although it's doubtful that you can fit an age meant for a living being onto something like a ghost.''

But the white woman is not abstract like a ghost. She is really there. The girls aimlessly flocking around the woman seem to match the definition of "ghost" better than her; their lazy floating makes them seem more like they are swimming than flying. Even their figures and forms are abstract, as they flicker into transparency from time to time.

What's above Shiki right now are the white woman and the girls floating as if to protect her.

The whole sight is not horrifying. No, this is more like...

"Hmph, this is indeed demonic."

Shiki sneers.

This woman's beauty is no longer that of a human's. Her black hair is especially luxurious, each strand with a silken sheen and texture. If the wind were stronger, her figure with hair flowing about it would have been a profoundly beautiful image.

"Then I shall have to kill you"

Perhaps hearing Shiki's murmur, the woman looks down. The woman is four meters above this rooftop which is already over forty meters high. The woman and Shiki's gazes meet.

There are no words to speak, nor is there a language to communicate with.

Shiki reaches a hand into her leather jacket and draws a knife. A small sword by any other name, with a blade perhaps some eighteen centimeters long.

Shiki's consciousness is filled by the killing intent of the gaze piercing down from above her.

The white figure sways. Her arm flows and a slender finger points at Shiki. That slender, fragile arm does not remind Shiki of ''white''.

"... More like bones, or a lily"

In the windless night, her voice hung in the air for a long time.

----

The will put into the fingertip is the intent to kill.

The white fingertip points at Shiki.

Shiki's head sways. The thin body steps once to regain its balance. But only once.

"---------"

The woman overhead hesitated a bit from that.

The ''suggestion'' that "you can fly" is not working on this person.

Her power can give someone the impression that "they were flying" - more of a brainwashing than a "suggestion" by any normal definition. There is no way to fight it, and as a result, one actually tries to fly, or conversely runs away from the fear of being able to fly. But Shiki was able to withstand it with just a small daze.

"---------"

The woman wonders if the contact was too weak, and decides to use ''suggestion'' again.

But this time, stronger. Not a weak impression like "You can fly" but she orders firmly: "You have to fly!".

But before that, Shiki looks at the woman.

''One on each of her legs, one on her back, and one point on her left chest. The cutting section called ''death'' can be certainly seen. The one on her chest would be a good one to aim for. That would be an instant kill. Even if that woman is just an image, I could kill a God.''

Bringing the knife to bear in a firm reverse grip, Shiki glares at the enemy in the sky.

The impulse assails Shiki once more.

''...I can fly. I can fly. I liked the sky from before. I was flying yesterday too. I could probably fly higher today. Freely. Feeling peaceful. Laughing. I have to go quickly...

''Where? To the sky? Free? ... That's...

''Escape from reality. Yearn for the sky. Reaction to gravity. No feet on ground. Flight under unconsciousness.

''Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go------------------ GO!''

"You've got to be kidding me."

Saying that, Shiki raises the empty left hand.

The suggestion does not work anymore. Shiki is not even phased.

"I don't have that kind of admiration for the sky. I don't feel alive, so I don't know the pain of living. To be honest, I don't care about you at all."

...A murmur more like singing.

Shiki does not feel any restraint, joy or sorrow in life.

That's why Shiki is not attracted to the liberation from pain.

"But I don't like you keeping him. I got him first, so I'm taking him back."

Shiki's left hand grabs the empty air and pulls back.

As if being pulled by the left hand, the woman and the girls are pulled toward Shiki like fish being reeled in with a net.

"---------!"

The woman's expression changes. She puts more resolve into her will and pounds it against Shiki.

If she could communicate with Shiki, she would have screamed

"Fall!"

Ignoring the curse, Shiki responds in an icy tone.

"You fall."

The knife drives into the chest of the woman as she is forced downwards. As simply and swiftly as slicing through a fruit, and with such precision that even the woman feels a brief glimpse of admiration.

There is no blood.

The woman, unable to move from the shock of the knife transfixing her chest, convulses just once.

Shiki casually throws the corpse over the tall fence, into the depths of the dark city.

The woman tumbles past the bounds of the rooftop and falls without a sound. Her dark, silken hair does not flutter, even during the fall, and fades into the night as her white robes are lost to the wind.

''Like a white flower sinking deep into the ocean.''

Shiki leaves the rooftop.

Above, the floating girls still remain...

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 03

2007-06-05T03:06:05Z

202.14.216.129:

Overlooking View／

----

---The image is that of an dragonfly. Busily flying.

A butterfly came to follow, but I didn't slow down. The butterfly eventually could not keep up and fell as it was about to go out of my vision.

It falls in an arc.

The falling motion like that of a snake; it looked like a broken lily.

That image is a really sad one.

Even though we cannot go together, I should have at least stayed by its side a bit longer.

But that is impossible. Because, as I do not have my feet on the ground, I do not even have the freedom to stand and stop.

Since I could hear someone talking, I decide to get up.

... My eyelids are pretty heavy. This is proof that I still need two more hours of sleep.

As I think to myself that I am petty for still trying to wake up in that state, my will has won over my sleepiness.

... Really, I'm troubled at how simple I am.

I think I finished up writing the drawing plan after working on it all night, and went to sleep in Tohko-san's room.

When I raised myself from the sofa, I was indeed in the office. In the summer sunlight, Shiki and Tohko-san seem to be talking about something.

Shiki is leaning on a wall while standing up, and Tohko-san is sitting cross-legged on a chair.

"Morning, Kokuto"

The look on Tohko-san's face, which is more like a glare, is normal. ... Seeing that she has her glasses off, I guess she was talking with Shiki about "those" kinds of things.

On the note of being usual, she is dressed like the usual too.

With her hair short and her neck showing, Tohko-san looks like a secretary. But since her glare looks so scary, I bet she won't ever get that kind of a position.

The black thin pants and the seemingly new white shirt suit her.

"Sorry, I guess I fell asleep."

I try to make up an excuse.

"Don't explain the obvious. I can tell."

Cutting me off like that, she takes her cigarette to her mouth.

"If you're awake, go make something to drink. It should be a good rehabilitation."

".....................?"

She must mean reformation when she says rehabilitation.

I don't know why she would say that to me, but since Tohko-san is always like that, I decide not to question her.

"Do you want anything, Shiki?"

"I'm fine. I'm going to bed soon."

Saying so, Shiki does indeed seem to be lacking sleep.

Maybe she took a walk last night after I left.

◇

Next to the room which is Tohko-san's room and the office is a room like a kitchen.

The sink has three faucets in a row - maybe it used to be a lab, or something. Two of those have metal wires wrapped around them and are not for use. The reason for that is unknown to me; under closer examination, it makes me feel slightly how boxers feel when they are trying to lose weight, but they don't get many thanks because they start to feel violent.

Well, I turn the coffee maker on to make coffee for the two of us. I do so very efficiently. I'm already a master at brewing coffee. But it's not like I'm working here to make tea or coffee...

It's been half a year since I got employed here.

No, the word "employ" is not right because this place is not even a functional workplace.

To come here prepared even for that, is probably because I fell in love with that person's work.

After Shiki stopped time at the age of seventeen, I graduated high school and entered college without a purpose.

It was a promise made with Shiki to enter that college.

Even if Shiki had little hope of recovery, I still wanted to keep that promise.

But nothing was there for me after that. After I became a college student, I just lived through the days.

While I was living aimlessly like that, I went to an exhibit I was invited to, and ended up finding a doll.

It was a doll made so delicately, it seemed to be at the limits of a man's skills. It was like a frozen human, yet at the same time it was clear that it was simply a human-shaped mannequin which would never move.

But it was just too beautiful...

A human about to start moving any second now. But a doll which does not have any life to begin with. A place where only things with life can reach, yet a place where no human can reach...

I fell in love with that ambivalence.

Probably because everything about its existence was exactly like Shiki back then.

It was unknown where the doll came from.

The pamphlet did not even show of its existence.

When I desperately looked for the source, I found out that it was made by a volunteer and the crafter was one surrounded by much rumor in the industry.

The crafter - whose name is Aozaki Tohko - is a hermit, to put it simply. I guess her true job is doll-making, but it seems she designs buildings too.

She will do anything that involves making something, but never accepts any requests. She will always go to someone and show them what she will make; and start making it once she receives the payment up front.

She is either a eminent virtuoso, or just a big weirdo.

I got more and more curious, and I knew I shouldn't have, but I found out the address of this weirdo (A claim which I can now assert with the utmost confidence...)

It was away from the city and it was an ambiguous address not in the residential district or the industrial district.

It wasn't even a house.

It was an abandoned building.

And it's not just a normal abandoned building. Its construction was started a few years ago, but came to a halt halfway through when the previously prolific economy began to fail. Its shape as a building is present, but the interior is totally unfurnished, and the walls and the floors are completely bare.

It would have been six stories high upon completion, but there's nothing above the fourth floor. Nowadays, it's more efficient to start building from the top floor, but I guess it was still using the old construction method back then. Since the construction was stopped halfway, the half-done fifth floor became like the rooftop.

Even though the building is surrounded by a tall concrete wall, it's easy to get into. It's a miracle some kids didn't make a secret base out of it.

Anyway, I guess Aozaki Tohko bought this abandoned building.

The kitchen-like room I'm in right now is on the fourth floor. The second and the third floors are like Tohko-san's workspace, so we usually talk on the fourth floor.

...Let's get back on topic.

After that, I got to know Tohko-san and I ended up working here, quitting the college I just got into.

Unbelievably, I get paid here.

As Tohko-san puts it, there are two types of people with one of two attributes: The one to make and the one to search, the one to use and the one to destroy.

She told me frankly that I had no hope as the one to make, but she still hired me. She said that I had the ability as the one to search or whatnot.

"You're slow, Kokuto."

...I hear that from the next room.

Looking, I notice that the coffee maker is already filled with the black liquid.

◇

"I guess the one yesterday makes eight. People should start to notice the similarities by now."

Putting out her cigarette, Tohko-san abruptly says so.

She must be talking about the recent recurrent suicides of female high-school students, throwing themselves off high buildings.

I think so because there's nothing else she would want to talk about, this summer being free as it is of any issues such as water shortages.

"Huh? Wasn't it six?"

"There were more while you were dozing off. It started in June, and it's averaging about three per month. Maybe there'll be one more within the next three days."

Tohko-san says something sickening. Taking a look at the calendar, August will come to an end in three days. Three more days...?

Something about that caught my attention, but it faded away quickly.

"But I heard they are all unrelated. The girls who committed suicide are all supposedly from different schools with no connection to each other. It might be that the police are hiding the fact though."

"You're not trusting people? That's unlike you."

Tohko-san grins.

...With her glasses off, she can be infinitely mean.

"Because not one will has been televised. Six, no, eight people. If there're that many, at least one should have left behind a will. But if the police have not said anything about it, you'd think they are hiding them."

"I'm saying that's the relation. Or I should say "the connection point". Out of the eight, more than half are seen jumping off by themselves, by several people, but they are unable to find anything wrong with their private lives. It's not like they were doing drugs or affiliated with a weird religion. It's definitely a case of suicide where they felt uneasy about themselves and selfishly took their own lives. That's probably why the cops aren't taking a big interest in this matter."

"Are you saying that there was no will from the beginning?"

After I say so doubtfully, Tohko-san nods but says that she can't be too sure.

But could that be possible?

There's an inconsistency somewhere, I think as I take the coffee mug and taste the bitterness of the liquid inside.

Why would there be no will? If there is no will, people usually wouldn't kill themselves.

A will is an attachment to the real world. When a person who does not like to die is forced to die, the will is what they leave behind as a reason for their death.

A suicide without a will.

To have no need to write a will means they have nothing to leave to this world, and are willing to disappear without a trace. That would be the perfect suicide. I think a perfect suicide would be one without a will and even the death itself would not be found out.

But committing suicide by jumping off a building is not a perfect suicide. To die in a way to catch people's attention seems in itself a will.

Then what?

Maybe it's for a different reason... like someone stole their will? No, then that would not be a suicide.

Then what?

There's only one logical answer I can think of.

Like it sounds, maybe those were just accidents.

The girls had no intention of dying from the beginning. Then there would be no reason to write a will. It's like getting involved in an unfortunate accident while going outside for a bit.

Just like what Shiki said last night.

...But I could not come up with a reason why they would jump off a building when they were just going out for a bit.

"The suicides will end at eight. There won't be any more for a while."

Shiki comes into the conversation as if to interrupt my raging thoughts.

Even though Shiki seems to be uninterested in this subject.

"You can tell?"

I had to ask.

Shiki nods while looking far away.

"I went and looked. There were eight flying about."

The well-shaped lips let out those words.

"Oh, so there were that many at that building. You knew from the beginning how many there were, Shiki?"

"Yeah, I finished it off but I think those girls will stay there for a while, even though I don't like that idea. Hey, Tohko. Do all the people end up that way when they can fly a bit like that?"

"I don't know. You can't say for sure since everyone's different but in the past, of those who have attempted to fly with just human powers, none have succeeded. The words "fly" and "fall" are tied together. But the more you're hooked to flying, the more you forget about that fact. As a result, you end up trying to reach the skies even after you die. Not falling to the ground, but as if falling toward the sky."

Shiki frowns at Tohko-san's response.

Shiki's angry... but at what?

"Sorry, but I don't quite follow the conversation."

"Hmm? We're talking about the ghost of the Fujiyoh building. Although I can't say for sure if it's just an image or a real thing unless I take a look at it. I was thinking of going to take a look at it if I had the time, but if Shiki's already killed it, there's no way for me to check now."

... I see. As I expected, they were talking about "those" kind of things.

When Shiki and Tohko-san without her glasses talk together, they usually talk about these occult-like things.

"You heard the story that Shiki saw the girl floating at the Fujiyoh building, right? That story had more to it and it seems there's a human-like figure flying around those floating girls. We were thinking that since they won't stray from the Fujiyoh building, maybe that place was like a net or something."

I'm troubled at how complex and weird the story has become.

As if Tohko-san can tell my confusion, she sums up the whole thing.

"In other words, there's one floating human at the Fujiyoh building and around it are the girls who died by suicide. These girls are probably something like ghosts. That's pretty much it."

I nod.

I understand the story but I guess I'm hearing it after it's all over.

Seeing how Shiki talked, it seems the ghost thing was already taken care of.

It's been two month since I let these two meet. I'm starting to become the one to hear about the results when it comes to these kinds of tales.

As a normal human being different from these two, I'd like to stay away from those stories. One the other hand, since it doesn't suit me to be ignored, I think this neutral stance I'm holding right now is perfect.

I guess people call this good news within bad news.

◇

".....................?"

Shiki gets angrier and starts to glare at me.

Have I done something to make Shiki mad?

"Huh? But Shiki saw the ghosts there at the beginning of July, right? Then there were only four ghosts back then?"

I say the obvious just to confirm, but Shiki says no.

"Eight. There were eight from the beginning. Like I told you, there won't be anymore after eight. In their case, the order is the opposite."

"Then you're saying you saw eight ghosts from the start? Like that one clairvoyant girl?"

"No way. I'm normal. It's just that the air there is abnormal. Let's see... it feels weird. Like hot and cold water right next to each other."

Tohko-san follows-up Shiki's ambiguous words.

"So in other words, time there is not working properly. It's not like there's only one way for time to pass by. The time it takes for something to rot away is unfairly different for everything. Then, it should follow that a human individual and its memory take different times to disappear. When someone dies, does that person's memory disappear? It doesn't, right? As long as there are observers, ones to remember, nothing disappears instantly, but gradually fades away.

Memories, or rather, "records". If an observer happens to be in the environment around that person, people like those girls will be preserved by their memories and walk the earth as "illusions" even after their deaths. This is part of the phenomenon which we know as "ghosts". The only ones who see these projections are the ones that share the memories with these ghosts, namely their parents and friends. Shiki, however, is an exception.
Of course, the passage of time does affect these "records", but at the top of that building, it seems to occur at a much slower rate. The girls' memories from when they were alive have not caught up to their true state yet.
As a result, the memories stay alive. What can be seen there are the actions and the existences of those girls whose time happens to be passing by slowly."

Then, Tohko-san lights another cigarette.

So she is saying that when something goes away, as long as I remember it, it has not disappeared. Thus, the very act of me remembering it causes it to be alive. So if it's alive, it can be seen?

That's just like hallucination... No, Tohko-san probably used the word "illusion" because it is defined as something that isn't real.

"I don't care about all that explanation - there's no danger in that. The problem is ''her''. I know I got that thing good, but if there's a main body somewhere else, we'll just end up repeating this over and over again. I'm tired of being Mikiya's bodyguard."

"I feel the same way. I'll take care of Fujoh Kirie. You can just take Kokuto home. There's about five more hours until he's off work. If you're going to sleep, you can use the floor there."

The place Tohko-san points at is a place that has not been cleaned for the past year and is like a dirty furnace.

Of course, Shiki ignores her.

"So, what was that anyway?"

Shiki glares at Tohko-san.

The wizard with a cigarette in her mouth thinks to herself and walks over to the window.

From there, she looks outside.

There is no lighting in this room. We only get the light from outside and it's hard to tell if its morning or afternoon in here.

In contrast, the view outside the window is clearly mid-day. You could almost see the blazing-hot white sunlight.

Tohko-san stares at the summer scenery for a while.

"Before, you could classify her as flying."

The smoke she blows out mixes in with the white sunlight.

I stare at her back as she looks outside... She's like a mirage in all this white.

"Kokuto, what do you think a view from a high place reminds you of?"

This sudden question pulls me back into reality.

I haven't really been at a high place since I went to the Tokyo Tower as a child. I don't really remember what I thought about it then. The only thing is knows is that I tried so hard to spot the place I where lived, but ended up not being able to find it.

"Maybe, something small?"

"That's too shrewd of a remark, Kokutou."

A cold response comes back. Well, I was a bit doubtful about my remark myself. I pull myself together and try to think of something else.

"Let's see. There isn't much that it reminds me of, but I do think it's beautiful. A view from a high place is overwhelming."

Probably because this response was more from my heart, Tohko-san nods in agreement.

While still staring outside, Tohko-san continues to talk.

"The scenery you see is magnificent: even an ordinarily boring landscape would look beautiful. But that's not the impulse you feel when you look down onto the world you live in. The overlooking view only gives you one impulse..."

Saying the word "impulse", Tohko-san cuts off her sentence.

Impulse is not something that comes from within you like feelings, but rather something that attacks you from the outside. Even if the one attacked by it doesn't want it.

Something like violence that attacks you without warning, that is what we call "impulses".

Then what is the violence that is brought by an overlooking view?

"That is being "far". A vision too big creates a vivid separation between you and the world. People can only feel safe around things close to them. Even if one has the most detailed map and knows exactly where they are, it's only information, right?

For us, the world is only something we can feel ourselves. The boundaries between cities, countries, and the world can only be unconsciously recognized by our brains, and we ourselves cannot feel them unless we actually go to those. And in reality, there is nothing wrong with that way of recognition.

But if the vision is too large, discrepancy occurs. The ten meter area around you, that you actually feel, and the ten kilometer area that you are looking down on. They are both the world you live in, yet you feel the first to be more real.

See? There's already an inconsistency. It's more correct for you to recognize the larger world you see as the world you live in rather than the small space around you. But no matter how hard you try, you cannot feel that you are living on this big world.

The reason being, what feels more real is always something that is around you. Your reasoning as your knowledge and your experience as your feelings crash against each other and eventually, one will lose and confusion will start.

...How small the city is from up here. I can't even imagine my house was down there. Was that park shaped that way? I didn't even know that was there. This is like a town I don't know about. It feels like I've come to a place far away.

... A high perspective brings these kinds of thoughts. Even though the person is still standing on a part of that city they're looking down on..."

A high place is a place far away. That is true, distance-wise. But Tohko-san must mean the mental aspect of it.

Two places apart horizontally and vertically. The only difference between the two is if you can or can't look down on the other place.

"So you mean it's not good to keep your vision at a high place?"

"If you go too far. In the ancient times, the sky was considered to be another world. To fly meant going to the other world. You will be drowned in another will if you do not protect yourself by means of technology. Just like it sounds, you go crazy.
Well, if you do have the right protection on your recognition, you won't be affected that much. It won't be a problem if you have a firm place to stand on. You'll be back to normal when you get back on the ground."

... Now that she mentions it, when I was looking down on the school ground from the rooftop once, I suddenly wondered what would happen if I jumped down.

Of course, it was just a joke.

I had no intention of actually doing so, but why did I get that thought when it obviously leads to death?

Tohko-san says there are individual differences, but I think it's common for people to think about falling when at high places.

"Does it mean your mind goes crazy for just an instant?"

Tohko-san laughs after I blurt out my question.

"Everyone dreams about the taboo, Kokuto. Humans have the ability to gain pleasure from imagining things they cannot do. But... yeah, that's pretty close. The important thing is that the thought only comes at a specific place - at that place itself. Well, I guess that's pretty obvious. To speak in your case, I think your mind isn't crazy, but rather numb."

"Tohko, you've been talking for too long."

Shiki interrupts as if to say she can't stand it anymore. Come to think of it, we might have strayed off the main topic.

"It's not long at all. If you're talking in in terms of constructing a discussion topic, we're only on the second part."

"I only want to hear the end. I don't want to hear you guys talk."

"Shiki..."

It's mean, but I guess she also has a point.

Shiki continues to complain, ignoring me.

"And, you say there's a problem with views from high places. Then what is a normal view? Even when we're walking, we have a higher view than the ground."

In contrast to Shiki's attitude of trying to find holes, I thought the argument did have a point.

A person's eyes are certainly at a higher level than the ground. Then that would mean our view is somewhat overlooking the world.

Tohko-san nods at Shiki's words. I guess she's just going straight to the conclusion.

"But the ground you think is flat is actually slightly curved. Even taking that into account, you can't say our normal vision has an overlooking view of things.

A vision is not what your eyes see, but it's an image that your brain comprehends. Our vision is protected by common sense, so we never feel our height to be high, and it's even considered normal. There's no notion that it's high.

But on the other hand, everyone is living with a vision that is overlooking. Not a physical vision, but I mean our mental vision. Everyone is different, but a larger mind will try to go higher. But still, it will never leave its box.

Humans are made to live in a box, and they can only survive in the box. Humans cannot have the views of the Gods.

However, when one's mental vision surpasses a certain boundary, one becomes not so much a God as a monster. ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnos Hypnos]'', that is, "illusion", turns into ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanatos Thanatos]'' - real death."

As she says so, Tohko-san herself is overlooking the world. She is looking down at the earth with her feet set on the ground. It seems significant, somehow.

And then, I remember the dream I had

The butterfly fell at the end.

Maybe she could have flown more gracefully if she had not tried to follow me.

Yes, if she fluttered as if to float, she should have been able to fly longer.

But since the butterfly knew about flying, it could not stand the lightness of its floating body.

That's why it flew instead of floating.

Thinking that much, I question myself if I was that poetic.

Tohko-san, by the window, throws her cigarette away.

"The flicker at the Fujiyoh building might be the world she was seeing. I can guess that the difference in the air Shiki felt was the boundary between the outside world and the inside of the box. That is a discontinuity that only a human mind can perceive."

With Tohko-san's talk finished, Shiki finally seemed to relax.

Shiki lets out a breath and looks around.

"Discontinuity, huh? I wonder which side was the warm side and which side was the cold side for her."

In contrast to the serious tone, Shiki acts like it doesn't matter.

Tohko-san also acts like she doesn't care.

"Of course, the opposite of you."

And answered so.