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Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume4 The First Question

2011-05-29T10:32:59Z

202.162.216.199:

“...... Yuuji.”

“Wha --- arghhh!? What the hell are you doing all of a sudden!?”

“...... don’t dodge.”

“When you’re butting your head with me, of course I’ll dodge right!”

“...... I’m not butting head.”

“? Then what’s that? A heddobatto<ref>’’’heddobatto:’’’ Headbutt.</ref>?”

“...... a kiss.”

“Alright. I don’t want to see any unnecessary movement from you. Put your hands behind your head and explain this slowly in a way that’s easy to understand.”

“...... putting lips together. A natural act between an engaged couple like me and Yuuji. It’s called ‘making out’.”

“Wait. I didn’t mean that I don’t know what’s a ‘kiss’. I’m asking why are you doing that out of the bl......ahhhh!”

“....... you say you know, with who, when, at where did you......!!”

“N, no! What I meant is that I know the meaning of a kiss, it doesn’t mean that I have any ---”

“...... experience?”

“--- you can’t really say that I don’t have any ex...gyaaaaa! I’m kidding! I’m just being cocky, I’ve never experienced a real one before!”


“...... I see. Then, it’s fine.”

“I, I thought I was going to die...... So, why did you talk about that out of the blue?”

“...... look.”

“Yeah? Isn’t that Akihisa and Shimada? I can’t really see it from here --- but isn’t Shimada running away from him?”

“...... they were kissing before that.”

“Seriously! Ugh, the fellows in our class have started surrounding the ditched guy, Akihisa.”

“...... an incredible killing intent.”

“Woah, what a nice body! Something good is also stuffed in between his jaws. As expected, he’s outnumbered.”

“...... he can’t move anymore.”

“Tsk tsk. As usual, Akihisa is an idiot. They are famous for not showing any mercy to anyone who has experienced even something as small as a kiss.”

“...... I’m sorry.”

“Huh? What’s wrong? Why are you apologizing? Since I haven’t done anything like that, I’ll fine, you know?”

“...... the truth is, while Yuuji was sleeping ---”

“I can’t hear you! I totally, completely can’t hear you at all!”

“...... it’s ok. Since I’ll take responsibility.”


“That’s not the problem, isn’t it!? --- hah! Killing intent gyaaaaaaaaa!”

“Heretics discovered. We’ve secured them.”

“Alright. Take them away.”

“Roger! President Sugawa!”

“....... ah...... Yuuji......”

“How goes the preparations for the trial?”

“No problem.”

“Well done. We’re going to begin the emergency heretic trial! All members, do not be negligent in inspecting your tools!”

"""Roger! President Sugawa!"""

“...... what shoud I do. I was busy selling him out that I forgot to mention that I only did it on his cheek......”


===The First Question===
'''Convert the following words to proper English.'''

“Haatofuru Rabusutourii”

 
'''Himeji Mizuki’s answer'''

“heartful love story”

'''Teacher’s comment'''

Correct. It’s a common catchphrase you see in movies and books, but every now and then, there will be someone who will get the “heart” part wrong. Even though it should be a familiar English word to most, it’s surprisingly difficult to get it right.

By the way, translated to Japanese, it’s “A romance story filled with love”. I’d definitely like to see you all spend your springtime of youth in such a manner.

 
'''Shimada Minami’s answer'''

“hurt full rough story”

'''Teacher’s comment'''

*hurt...... injury

*full...... to be filled with

*rough...... rough

*story...... story

It’s a beautiful mistake to the effect that I was wondering whether you got it wrong on purpose.

I think you will be the only one “playing out”<ref>’’’Playing out:’’’ Here, the word used is “演じる” which could mean, “acting”(meaning Minami’s love story is really as such) as well as “committing a blunder”(meaning Minami made a mistake in her answer).</ref> such a “heartful love story”.

 
'''Kirishima Shouko’s answer'''

“hurt full rough story”

'''Teacher’s comment'''

To think that there’s another one.

----


“Aki, close your eyes.”

That came rather suddenly.

In front of me were a pair of large eyes framed with full eyelashes.

A shampoo fragrance could be detected emanating from that beautiful hair with the back tied up into a ponytail.

And then on my lips --- I could feel the touch of the soft, warm lips of Minami.

What’s this. What just happened. Why is Minami’s face so close to me. Why am I spacing out like this.

Not knowing what happened, in a jerking motion, Minami pulled away from me,

“Th, that...... is not a joke, I’m telling you......!”

After saying that one line, she ran away from me.

Ahaha. Minami’s face is surprisingly red. Just like a tomato.

I was overseeing this scene, taking in this situation in a strangely calm manner.

“As I thought...... Minami-chan, towards Akihisa-kun......”

I’m strangely concerned with the murmuring voice of the nearby Himeji-san.


“Yoshii, prepare yourself!”

And then, what came next was rather sudden.

A tightly clenched large fist appeared in front of me.

And then, I felt the hard, sweltering touch of Sugawa’s fist on my cheek.

What’s this. What just happened. Why is Sugawa-kun and the rest of F class closing in on me like predators closing in on their prey. Why is my vision quivering.

Not knowing what happened, in a jerking motion, Sugawa-kun pulled away from me,

“Th, that...... is not a joke, I’m telling you......! …... we’re really going to kill you!”

He raised his hand and gave the others around him a signal.

“Eh!? Eh!? Wait wait! I don’t understand the situa --- gyaaaaa!”

A killing intent that had never been felt before. For some reason, it seemed like everyone was looking at me with serious eyes!?

“As I thought...... Minami-chan, towards Akihisa......”

“No, Himej-san! Enough of that! Anyway for now, save me--- !”

At that moment, my consciousness descended into darkness.


“Gentlemen. Where are we?”

"""The court that passes down the oldest form of judgement!"""

“What will the heretic get?”

"""The iron hammer of death!"""

“What will the guy get?”

"""He shall throw away his love, and live in sorrow!"""

“Good. Now --- let the heretic trial of class 2-F begin!”


When I opened my eyes, it was the meeting place for Sabado.

“Eh? Huh? What’s the meaning of this?”

Even though the curtains had been drawn up and it was dark, I realized I was in my usual classroom from the feel of tatami. In other words, the masked guys standing beside the platform were of class 2-F.

“Akihisa, you’ve awakened.”

A familair voice came from nearby. As I tried to turn around to face that voice, I realized for the first time that my hands and feet had been bounded.

And I had no choice but to roll my entire body to face the direction of the owner of that voice. What I was seeing before me was the figure of my bad pal, also with his hands and feet bounded, lying there.

“...... Yuuji, what are you doing?”

“...... I’ve been dragged into this by you.”

He spat with his scowling, annoyed face that gave out a complete feeling of wildness. Just like a wild animal tied up in a cage.

“Dragged into this?”

“Thanks to you, the talk about ‘me getting kissed by Shouko while asleep’ was overheard by them. What a great bother, bastard.”


Hm hm. Kirishima-san kissing. Kissing Yuuji. I see ---

“.............................. huh?”

No no no. Wait a minute please. Isn’t it too good a thing to be ignored?

Kirishima-san and Yuuji have kissed? That beautiful Kirishima Shouko-san who is good in studies and sports and also with a good family background, and the plain Sakamoto Yuuji who is bad in personality and brains, have kissed? Haha. That’s really a distasteful joke. So stupid to the point beyond laughable.…... but, what if.

I don’t really want to think about it, but what if. If in one in a million chance, that’s true.

If that’s the case, even if God permits, I shall not forgive him......!

“Everyone, this is bad! Sakamoto Yuuji is suspected to be a heretic! Time to prepare for an emergency trial!”

“Wait Akihisa! Rather, weren’t you the one who was trying to make us kiss at the Kisaragi Highland incident!? In other words, you are the real heretic!”

Yuuji was prattling about some nonsensical stuff. Me, a heretic?

“Yuuji, how unsightly! You’re plotting to shift some unfounded allegation onto me to protect yourself! Do you think I’ll swallow that!”


This was not a joke. Having lived in this world for sixteen years. This was not something to be proud of, but I had never yet had the joyful experience of being kissed! ...... well, I’ve received one on the cheek however......

“This, this idiot......! If you don’t believe me, just try listening to what they are saying!”

Even though I didn’t get what Yuuji was saying, for now, I'd do as he said and try stretching my hearing. As I did that, I could make out a strange conversation going on between my classmates.

“--- read out the charges.”

“Yes, President Sugawa. Eh--- the accused, Yoshii Akihisa (from now on, he shall be referred to as A), a student of our Fumizuki Academy’s class 2-F, is suspected of violating our doctrine. The charges for A are indecent assault, as well as, acts of infidelity. At the early dawn of this very day, when A was forcefully performing an obscene act on his classmate, Shimada Minami (from now on, she shall be referred to as Flat-Chest), he was apprehended by our compatriots. He is now brought before us. From here on, after we have thoroughly investigated the relationship between A and Flat-Chest, to properly deal with A ---”

“Skip the trivialities. Read out the conclusion.”

“We’re envious of him being kissed!”

“Uhm. It’s truly an easy-to-understand report.”


Eh? Huh? Kiss? What’s that. Speaking of this, something like that did seem to happen, or didn’t seem to happen......

“Akihisa. You must have lost your memories from the excessive shock, so let me tell you about it. This morning, you and Shimada kissed. And it was right in front of Himeji.”

Yuuji seemed to be explaining to me.

Kiss. With Minami. I kissed. What’s that. After being told that, it did seem like Minami and I kissed.

But that’s not possible.

“Haha. You can stop the jokes, Yuuji. Since there’s definitely no way that Minami would actually kiss someone like me, right?”

Even for me, I’d know my place. I’m not someone who’s passionate about any club activities, neither am I good in studies, nor am I good in anything in particular. Only someone who’s not aware of any of these realities, someone like Hazuki-chan, would actually be willing to kiss me.

“Well, don’t put yourself down so much, Akihisa. Indeed, you are the worst when it comes to looks, studies, and personality, and even if one closes his eyes to them, you’re just someone with neither ability nor wealth, isn’t it?”

“Damn you! Are you saying I’m good for nothing except for shoulder massage!?”


“At this age, only shoulder massage!? Don’t you have other strengths that you can use for arguing!?”

There should be a limit to how much he can make a fool out of me. If my hands and feet were not bounded up, I would have make a grab for him.

“In any case, it’s a fact that you and Shimada have kissed. Seems like there’s undeniable proof.”

Before I could ask about the proof, a photograph was thrust before my eyes.

“............ traitors should die.”

The person who muttered that and who was holding on to the photograph was none other than my classmate, the Muttsuliini Tsuchiya Kouta. Even though he is usually a quiet guy who is hardworking in taking photos while erasing his presence, right now, he is releasing a quiet killing intent just like a ninja who’s a moment away from carrying out an assassination.

And in that photograph in his hand, wass a scene of a guy who resembled me kissing a girl who resembled Minami --- so as to speak, however you look at it, it’s me kissing Minami.

“Eh!? Is this for real!? That wasn’t a dream!?”

“If it were a dream, you won’t be all tied up in such a manner.”

“I, I see. So that’s how I ended up like this......”

I did possess a hazy memory of that, but to think that it was real...... Me and Minami kiss huh.......

“I sorry for interrupting your reverie in embarrassment to the point where even your ears are red, but I have a question.”


“That, that’s not it......! This, is just, my face getting hot......”

“I get it, I get it. So, how did the both of you end up like that?”

How, you say......

“I’d like to ask that as well.”

I had not the slightest idea why Minami would do that all of a sudden. She was probably threatened by someone to catch me in a trap, I guess.

“Use that spongy head of yours to think it through. Did anything strange happen recently, or was there anything about her that was out of the ordinary?”

Even if we’re talking about something recent, ever since my mobile was broken, I’ve not contacted her at all.

“Uh~n......”

What was it. What actually happened?

“Let’s change the question. When was the last time you saw Shimada?”

The last time I saw her. It’s of course referring to a time other than this morning, isn’t it? If that’s the case,

“Erm...... the last night of the training camp, I guess?”

“Last night?”

“Yeah. After everyone was asleep, Minami came to me secretly.”

“............ why didn’t you think of that as strange?”


Yuuji had a dumbstruck look on his face.

“Well, because she was coming to kill me......”

“...... well then, what did you say to her before seeing her that night?”

The conversation before we met huh. Speaking of that, then it had to be the mail, I guess.

The contents of that mail, if I remembered correctly ---

“Something that sounded like a confession was said.”

“...... huh? Shimada said that to you?”

“No, I said it to Minami.”

“Did such a thing really happen?”

“Yeah. That did happen.”

“Right, right. I see, I see.”

Yuuji nodded.

And following that, as I was thinking of letting out a large sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

“Go to hell.”

Wham......

The heel of his shoe came burying into my face.

“...... ugh! My face......ugh! I could feel a dent forming in my skull...... ugh!”


“What’s with the ‘I don’t know’! Isn’t that something totally out of the ordinary, you idiot!”

Yuuji was looking at the writhing me as if I’m some kind of idiot. Damn! I can’t afford to get any plainer than this!

“So, what was it that you said?”

Having calmed down again, Yuuji continued asking.

What did I say? What did I write in that misleading mail?

Erm....... ah, that’s right. The mail that time, if I remember correctly,

“‘I love you more than Yuuji’ was written.”

“Wait, your standard of love is pegged to me!?”

With a look of disgust on his face, Yuuji pulled away from me. A big misunderstanding.

Just as I was thinking about how to make it clear to Yuuji that even if I’m a homosexual I wouldn’t go after him, the apparent organizer of this suspicious gathering (I’m afraid it’s Sugawa-kun) looked towards here.

“Heretic, Yoshii Akihisa. Would thou repent and accept our judgement?”

With a quiet voice, Sugawa-kun (?) waits for my response. If I respond to him carelessly, I might jeopardise my life.

“Hey, before I answer you, I have a question.”


“Speak.”

“What kind of judgement are you referring to?”

Responding to my query, Sugawa-kun (assumed) squinted his eyes and announced to me.

“First, we shall prepare kerosene and lighter ---”

“The accusations are false! I’m not a believer who would go against the doctrine!”

As if I would let myself get roasted from a misunderstanding!

“I see. In that case, we shall force you to confess.”

“You said it! You just said ‘force you to confess’ all of a sudden! This trial is useless!”

“That’s right! Let’s force him to confess!”

“Let’s falsify the records of the proceedings!”

“Hey wait! You guys are not playing by the rules!? Normally, at this juncture, I don’t think you should be going along with the act of forcing confessions!”

Do this guys really understand what a trial means?

“Eeh, are the kerosene and lighter not ready yet!”

“Are those what you use for interrogation to yield a confession!? Both are used for execution right!?”


“That’s not it, Yoshii. In the case when the accused pleads innocence, this would be used twice, once for forcing a confession, and once for meting out the sentence; we’re just taking enough of it for one use.”

“I won’t be deceived! Even when you say it like the selling catchphrase of a facial cleanser that comes with added volume, I won’t be deceived.”

In the first place, when it comes down to using a lighter and kerosene, there won’t be a second time.

“Yuuji! Yuuji, you should say something as well! At this rate, we’re going to become roasted bodies!”

“Damn you guys......! If you want to do it, just do it on this guy!”

“Yuuji...... thank --- no! That line, thinking about it clearly, aren’t you just selling me out to save yourself! You low-life just care only about yourself!”

Normally, it should have been, ‘if you want to do it, just do it on me!’. Because he said it in such a cool way, for an instant, I was thankful to Yuuji.

“Aren’t you the man, Sakamoto. If you’re willing to go this far, as you wish, we’ll do it on Yoshii.”

Even now, Sugawa-kun (verified) was still deceived by Yuuji’s words.

“Realize it, Sugawa-kun! At this rate, I’ll be the only victim!”

While I hollered at the limit of my voice, I did not display my fiery tension outwardly.

“Well, since the preparation of the kerosene seems delayed, for now, let’s make Yoshii do ‘Special Bungee Jump’.”


I could smell a whiff of death from the sudden announcement from Sugawa.

“Sugawa-kun. Just out of curiosity, what’s this ‘Special Bungee Jump’?”

Even I know what a bungee jump is. The question is how ‘special’ is it.

“Let’s see...... If I go into too many details, it might bring unnecessary unease to Yoshii, so I’ll just give a hint ---”

Sugawa turned his face away, and seemed to look at the windows with the drawn-up curtains.

“--- I’d just say that it’s akin to skydiving without a parachute.”

People call that execution.

“You call that complete description a hint that wouldn’t bring me unnecessary unease! With no cord!? You want me to do a bungee jump with no cord!?”

These guys are seriously bad news. In order to escape from this place, just as I was considering ramming my body against the window, and using the broken pieces to cut away these ropes that were bounding me,

“Akihisa.”

I could hear the nearby Yuuji whispering to me.

“Eh? What’s up, Yuuji?”

“Use this.”

Hidden from Sugawa-kun’s view, Yuuji handed out something with his bounded hands.


“Yuuji..... Thanks.......”

As I said my word of thanks to my bad pal who was saving me from this pinch, I ascertained the thing he passed over to me...... a rubber band?

“You can use this on your feet.”

Yuuji announced to me confidently, and I looked at him and thought.

Ah I see. This guy must have contracted a terrible illness of the head.

“You know, Yuuji. I’m really happy, but just this alone can’t support my weight.”

However you think about it, I would end up in pieces.

As I explained this gently to my sick bad pal, an unbefitting smile floated on Yuuji’s face and he replied.

“Stupid Akihisa. That’s not all.”

“Eh? Is that so?”

I see. This isn’t everything yet. That should have been expected. Even if it’s Yuuji, he should know this well enough. I was jumping to conclusion too early ---

“I’ve prepared another one.”

He said confidently as he passed me another rubber band.


A pity. Yuuji’s illness must have entered terminal stage and can no longer be cured by modern medicine.

“You know, Yuuji. It’s not about the numbers.”

As I looked at my bad pal who was carrying an illness of the head with pained eyes,

“...... suspension has just ended, and what are you guys doing right now......”

Ironman sighed as he slapped his hand on his forehead, having just walked into class for morning homeroom.

“Ah, Sensei! You’ve come just at the right time! Save me! This is an act of violence in school! I’m being bullied by my classmates!”

“That’s not it! This is a holy war to maintain the morals within this school! Yoshii has committed acts of indecency towards members of the opposite sex!”

Having listened to us, with an utter look of amazement, Ironman began.

“Ah...... Whatever, are you guys okay with not taking mark replenishment tests? Thanks to what happened at the training camp, all the guys practically have no marks left right?”

Ironman was talking about the application to take the tests.

In order to take the tests during normal lesson times, the teachers have to make preparations and as such, it’s necessary to make an application beforehand. At this rate, without making any application, we’re probably going to carry on with normal classes.

At the end of that training camp, it was a death fray using every subject, and because of that, practically everyone was depleted of marks in all the subjects. That’s why, it might be necessary for us to replenish our marks sometime down the road......


""This not the time for that.""

Since three months had yet to pass since the last summoning test war, we would not be able to wage a new summoning test war. Furthermore, we’re the F class with the worst facilities. There was no need to worry about anyone attacking us. Instead of worrying about the test marks which wouldn’t have any impending use, the direction in which my fate would take was much more pressing.

“Man man. If you guys say so, it doesn’t matter to me then...... Anyway, just an announcement. The maintenance work on the summoning test system that started last week will take longer than expected. Even though the teachers are pushing for it, seems like it won’t be ready till tomorrow. Just note that summong test wars are not possible till then. That’s all.”

While Ironman seemed to have left the class after prattling about something, all our attention was focused on the trial.

“Yoshii! Stop resisting! It’s bad to not know when to give up!”

“Damn! Someone, save m--- that’s right! Himeji-san! Where’s Himeji-san!? The kind Himeji-san will definitely save me!”

I looked around the dark classroom to search for the figure of Himeji-san. The cute, smart, and well-endowed idol of F class was sitting in her own seat quietly.


“I beg you, Himeji-san! Save me!”

I called out to her frantically.

However, Himeji-san seemed to have not heard me and was spacing out, mumbling about something.

“As I thought...... Minami-chan, towards Akihisa-kun......”

“Eeh!? You’re still going about that!?”

She seemed to be repeating that same old line for the past thirty minutes.

At the time when all ways seemed to be exhausted and as I was preparing myself for the worst,

“What, what on earth is this?”

A glimmer of hope appeared in the classroom.

“Hideyoshi! Thank heavens......! Since there was no sign of you all this while, I thought you were on a leave of absence.”

Standing in shock, with a hand on the door, was my classmate who has been awarded the high honor of a rare beauty, Kinoshita Hideyoshi. I have heard rumors of her parents having made a mistake in entering the register, this dear friend of mine with a cute outward appearance has proclaimed herself to be guy.

“I was held up by some preparations this morning, and thus late, but....... Akihisa, what did you guys do?”

The classroom was curtained in darkness, and me and Yuuji were curled up like bagworms. And our classmates were masked. Anyone normal would have been surprised by this situation occurring in a classroom.


“Kinoshita. Don’t interfere. Right now, we’re about to execute heretics Yoshii Akihisa and Sakamoto Yuuji.”

Finally, it’s no longer a trial but an execution, it seemed.

“Is that so. However, I can understand if it’s Yuuji, but what did Akihisa do?”

“Listen carefully, Kinoshita. The heretic Yoshii Akihisa had conducted an act of indecency by kissing Shimada Minami this morning in the premises of our holy city, Fumitsu Academy ---”

Slide.

In the middle of Sugawa’s sentence, the door of the classroom, different from the one from which Hideyoshi had come through, opened.

And then, flushing all the way to her ears, with her face downwards, a female student appeared, quickly walking to her seat. Speak of the devil. It was the individual whose name had just been mentioned, Shimada Minami herself.

"""............"""

A sudden silence descended upon the classroom.


With a strange atmosphere that was different from usual, no one in F class spoke.

“Good morning, everyone. Due to various matters, I’m here to take over Fuse-sensei’s class--- what’s wrong, everyone?”

The teacher for the first period looked at us with widened eyes. 

<noinclude>
----
===Translator's Notes===
<references/>

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|-
| Back to [[Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume4 Novel Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
| Return to [[Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju|Main Page]]
| Forward to The Second Question
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume3.5 Me and Part-time Work and a Dangerous Weekend

2011-05-29T10:09:34Z

202.162.216.199: Extending Note

==Me and Part-time Work and a Dangerous Weekend==

[[Image:BTS vol 03.5 231.jpg|thumb|Me and Part-time Work and a Dangerous Weekend]]

“Hello, who are you looking for?”

“Ah! Finally got through! That's great~”

“That voice—is it Akihisa? You actually know how to use the international line, what's wrong?”

“YOU DARE TO ASK ME!? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, MUM!? I CHECKED SO MANY TIMES ALREADY, WHY DOES MY CARD HAVE ONLY 39 YEN!? DID YOU FORGET TO TOP UP MY FUNDS!?”

“How rude. How can I forget that? As for the money, I safely—”

“So you sent it?”

“—kept it in my wallet.”

“YOU ACTUALLY DARE TO TAKE YOU SON'S FUNDS? DAMN IT, I'M GOING TO COMPLAIN TO DAD!”

“Relax, a part of that money went to dad.”

“IS DAD AN ACCOMPLICE!? GUZZLING DOWN MY SOURCE OF LIFE, YOU'RE THE WORST COUPLE EVER!”

“...Sorry, actually, dad only got 20% of it.”

“AND IT'S COMPLETELY UNEQUAL! DAD'S REALLY PITIFUL HERE!!”

“Your dad didn't even know anything at all and thought that I got half the money. He was really happy.”

“...Dad...why did you marry such a person?”

“Sigh, let's not talk about this first.”

“Eh? Ah, oh...”

“Didn't mom tell you before? You have to report your grades to me regularly, but ever since you entered 2nd grade, I haven't heard anything about the grades from you, you know?”

“...Sorry mom, my reception here is bad, can't hear you properly here.”

“So what if the reception is bad, my problem here is that my son's so stupid.”

“I don't think we're on the same topic.”

“And it's so bad it's superhuman.”

“I, I'm not that stupid!”

“Oh, really? Then say it. How's your grades now?”

“...”

“Hurry up. Once you answer it, I'll consider if I should give the money to you.”

“Erm...well, I used to think that mum looks so youthful and pretty, but mom's real charm isn't just in the appearance, but also in the heart. She not only has all the positives as a lady, her movements and decision making won't lose to a man. As your son, I often bragged about this.” .

“Enough nonsense. I won't let you give me an excuse, so answer me in English. 'How are your grades in school'?”

“Ah...”

“Ah? 'a thousand'? 'a little bad'? 'about average score'?”

“Arm, solei...”

--DUUU...

“EHH? WHAT'S WITH THIS RESPONSE? THAT'S TOO COLD ALREADY! DAMN IT! IF THAT'S THE CASE, I'LL KEEP CALLING YOU LIKE A CRAZED PERVERT! DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE RESILENCE OF THIS SON!”

<center>☆</center>

“...So after hearing the irritating buzzing that's like those insect repellents, she just set your number such that her phone will refuse to hear your call?”

“Un. Don't you find her really too much? That person is definitely not my mother.”

“Well, it's been tough on you...”

During lunch, I grumbled about the conversation I had with my mom to Yuuji. It's unexpected for him to have such a reaction.

“Wh, what's wrong with you, Yuuji? It's disgusting to hear you pity me.”

“Nothing much, just that I understand how it's like to have suffered under a mother...”

Yuuji looks up and gazes outside the window, looking like there's something on his mind, and there's actually an expression that's doesn't match that hard and rough expression of his.

“So, what are you going to do, Akihisa?”

The beauty who's holding a packet drink—Hideyoshi asked me. Seeing him drink the soy milk, I really want to smile. The TV adverts are telling us that soy milk is beneficial to beauty, and this drink really suits Hideyoshi.

“Uu~ hm...really, I'm bothered as well. Seems like my mum hardened her heart. I couldn't call her, and even if I want to fly overseas to find her, it's too far overseas...”

And besides, I really don't know where they are anyway. All I know is that they're running a partnership enterprise somewhere overseas...

“...Seems like you can only earn it yourself.”

My classmate Tsuchiya Kouta, nicknamed Muttsulini is reading a magazine as he said this. The reason why he has such a nickname is because he is a super silent pervert—and even the silent part is missing recently. Now he's just a blatant pervert.

“Ya, seems like I should find a job.”

If possible, I hope that I can get my pay daily and immediately start work. I don't suppose that high school students can earn their pay on a daily basis, do they?

“Working? Now that you mention it, the cafe in front of the station is hiring people.

Yuuji places his hand below his chin.

“The cafe in front of the station?”

“Seems like it's called 'La Pedis', right? I don't know what language that is in.”

“Hei~ so that place is hiring people?”

That place sells really nice food, and they're really cheap. It's a place that many students from Fumitzuki Gakuen often patronize. There was once when I went there with Minami (while my arm was twisted).

“I remember that it's just relief work for this Saturday. The shift is from 11:00 to 20:00, and the salary is around 8,800 yen. It seems like they welcome any inexperienced people as well.”

“Only 1 day, and they invite newcomers as well? That's great to me—but there's a catch, right?”

Normally, a cafe won't hire people who's studying in the short-term, and it's even weirder for them to invite inexperienced people as well. There must be something.

"This hiring method may be a bit different, but I feel that there's no need to be so surprised. Most likely, the staff members just left the shop, so he had to hire people like this?"

This reason is possible. Since they are also willing to accept inexperienced people, the owner must be really desperate already, right?

"...Besides, Akihisa doesn't have any power to be picky about this."

"Uu...you're right about that..."

Like what Muttsulini said, right now, I don't have the capacity to talk about this. This is a matter of life and death, seems like I really have to fight for that part-time job.

"So, Akihisa's going as well?"

"Eh? 'Akihisa's going as well', does this mean that you're going too Yuuji?"

"I'm thinking that way. Actually, I wanted to go there to try it out."

I see, no wonder he understood about those things.

"What is it? Does Yuuji want to buy something? Why don't you say it to us?"

"Well, it's actually nothing...I just want to add locks to my lock, the best and sturdiest kind."

Amongst us youths, anyone will think of installing locks in our own rooms--but there's probably only a handful who does it for the reason Yuuji has.

"Oh yeah, how many people do they want?"

If we have to compete against each other in the interview, I may have to poison Yuuji first. I wonder if I still have some of Himeji-san's biscuits...

"I remember it's about 3-4. The place is rather big, so they really need a lot of people."

Now that Yuuji said this, I remember what I saw in the shop. The outside's already like a family restaurant, and there's a lot of variety on the menu. Including the staff in the kitchen, it is possible to have another 3 or 4 people.

"About 4 people, huh? How about Hideyoshi and Muttsulini join us?"

"That can do...maybe I can practice my acting. It's good to have experience."

"...I can get enough money to buy a camera."

Both of them don't have any other plans, so they agreed to it easy. Muttsulini will show his skills in the kitchen, and as for Hideyoshi, there's no real need to talk about it.

"Since we decided, let's go for the interview after class today. It'll be over if we can't get others."

"You're right. Let's do it."

"Got it."

"...(Nods head)"

Because of that, the 4 of us went to the cafe, and after taking the interview there, we got accepted.

<center>☆</center>

“Ahh...you people really came...sorry to bother you for today...”

“O, okay, please take care of us.”

On Saturday, the coffee shop owner drags his body that looks extremely frail as he invites the 4 of us in, who arrived an hour early.

(Oi, is this shop owner really going to make it?)

(Um...to me, if such a thing happens again, this brother here will likely jump into the sea below Mount Fuji. He looks really weak.)

Hideyoshi's thoughts hit the mark. If such a person is to appear at a train station platform, I'll tell the conductor to watch him and prevent him from jumping onto the tracks.

(I heard a rumor...that this shop owner's wife and daughter left him.)

Yuuji muttered.

Maybe this shop owner couldn't take the sudden stress of losing his wife and daughter? Thinking about it, it's rather likely that he would hire one-day-workers. Anyway, we just need to help out before his wife and daughter comes back.

(That's strange. I remember that there were a few girls working here the last time...)

(I don't know what happened to them as well. Most likely there's something to their resignation that we don't know of.)

So they resigned? Seems like they didn't want to get involved with the shop owner's business.

“Well, here are your uniforms...tell me if the sizes don't match...”

The shop owner places the folded uniforms in front of us.

“““My size doesn't match at all.”””

The moment we received the uniforms, Yuuji, Muttsulini and me said this in perfect unison.

“My gender doesn't match.”

On a side note, that's Hideyoshi voicing his displeasure over being given a female uniform.

“Eh? That's strange...I definitely measured it before...”

The shop owner tilts his head, but no matter how I see it, the sizes don't match.

“Erm, my uniform may be a bit too small, but Yuuji and Muttsulini—no, Sakamoto and Tsuchiya's sizes definitely don't match.”

Did the shop owner give the uniforms to the wrong people? If it's not, his eyes must be really bad then.

“Is it...but to me, Sakamoto-san is S, Yoshii-san is M, and Tsuchiya-san is ERO—no, L...”[http://www.baka-tsuki.net/project/index.php?title=Baka_to_Tesuto_to_Syokanju:Volume3.5_Translation_Notes_and_References#]

This shopkeeper can't be underestimated at all!

“...I have no interest in ERO.”

““WHA!!””

On hearing what's definitely the biggest lie of the century, Yuuji and I shouted out in shock.

“Muttsulini, no matter what, you can't just lie like that.”

“Ya, if you want to lie, make sure it's at least believable.”

“...(Shakes head violently).”

That shaking-head pose of his is blatantly a lie. Really, is there a need a make sure a huge lie?

“Never mind, forget about that. My size is L, so I can swap with Muttsulini.”

Maybe I might seem small when standing next to Yuuji, but I am taller than the average boy. To me, the width of an M-sized uniform may be wide enough, but the length isn't enough.

“...I'll wear M. It's perfect.”

I swap uniforms with Muttsulini. Hm, size L does fits me.

“Shopkeeper, I should be wearing XL. Can you help me change to another one?”

Yuuji has no one to exchange uniforms with, so he could only return the uniform.

“I see...you're right...I accidentally mixed up the uniform sizes with my fetishes...”

That's a really casual error there.

“Well, I did say that my gender's wrong...”

Alright, time to change, and let's start working!

<center>☆</center>

The worker's restroom isn't really big, so both Muttsulini and I enter first.

"Sure feels like the school festival."

"...We seem to be fated with cafes."

After putting our personal stuff into the storage cupboard, Muttsulini and I started talking as we change clothes.

This shop uniform has long black pants and a white shirt, with a block tightfitting vest over it. It's a normal waiter unifrom. A black apron around the pants, a black bow tie, and we're all good.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"...Excuse us."

Affter changing, Muttsulini and I walk out of the restroom in similar uniforms as we call out to the people outside. Yuuji and Hideyoshi seem impressed as they look at our attire.

"Haha, really suits you guys. You guys really have the look."

"The way I see it, both of you look really cool now."

"Re, really?"

"...How embarrassing."

Unlike the school uniform or casual uniform, these are actual cafe uniforms. I already feel bad about dressing up like them, and I'm a lot more embarrassed now that they praised me.

"Then, I'll go in with Yuuji."

"Um, our turn."

After saying out our thoughts, this time, it's Yuuji and Hideyoshi's going in with the uniforms in the hands--eh WAIT A MINUTE!!!

"YUUJI YOU IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU JUST GO IN AND CHANGE CLOTHES WITH HIDEYOSHI LIKE THAT!?"

"...Ten thousand deaths await you!"

I frantically try to force the door open, but they locked themselves inside; the handle couldn't be turned. If this keeps up, Hideyoshi will be in danger!

But Yuuji ignores us who're intending to break the door, not understanding our thoughts as he sighs in the restroom.

"What are you saying. Whether we're changing clothes or something else, we're both guys. How can there be any problem?"

BOTH OF YOU ARE GUYS? ANY PROBLEMS? WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS IDIOT UTTERING!?

"YUUJI!! THAT'S AN ERROR ON THE RECORDS!!"

"Wait, wait a minute, Akihisa! I am someone with a male body!"

Seems like Yuuji hasn't understood what's going on. He actually believed the records blindly!

"Sigh, I know. I'll listen to what you have to say once we're done, so just calm down now."

Yuuji said this with an impatient tone.

NO! It'll be over when they changed! If so--

"Yuuji! If you don't want to change you mind no matter what..."

"So what? Don't break the door now! It'll be bad if we have to pay for the door immediately after coming to work here."

"--I'm going to tell Kirishima-san everything!"

Creak!

"I can change in the corridor, right?"

Good that you understand.

"Okay, let's go find the shop owner."

"...(Nods head)"

After solving this crisis, Muttsulini and I head towards the hall.

"Urm...I can't seem to reach the zip on my back. Sorry Yuuji, but can you--eh? Where did Yuuji go?"

"Sorry Hideyoshi, I treasure my life."

Hearing this conversation behind me, I finally relaxed. Really, Hideyoshi's defenselessness is really troublesome.

"Speaking of which, this is a real cafe; different from the one at school. Sure feels refreshing."

"...Very interesting."

Today's work may be a great experience. Though it's not to the extent that I can stop begging my mother for money, it's not too bad.

"You said that you want to do the work in the kitchen right, Muttsulini?"

"...I did say that in the interview."

"Well, you should be in charge of the kitchen."

Harboring nervous feelings, I head towards the the hall where the shopkeeper's at.

"...(Blank)"

The shopkeeper is just sitting around, his soul oozing out of his mouth.

"Shop, shopkeeper, are you alright?"

"Ah...ahh, I'm alright, I'm alright...as long as I deal with the shop's stuff well, I'm sure those two will come back..."

Seems like the shopkeeper unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. Can he really hang on?

(Muttsulini, this guy isn't doing so well, is he?)

(...That may be dangerous.)

(Teag. Why don't we test it out first?)

(...How?)

(Just talk with him as per normal.)

I let Muttsulini remain here as I walk to the shopkeeper.

Let me see, what should I say to him?

"Well, shopkeeper..."

"...Hm? Ahh, what is it?"

"The weather's nice today."

I didn't know what to say, so I just mentioned that the weather's nice today.

"Ahh...yes...daddy's really irritating..."

Seeing his response, it seems like my idea of talking about the weather just went down the drain.

"Um...let's just hope that there will be a lot of customers today."

Let's change the topic. If it's about the shop, he can't possibly ignore it, right?

"My cutest among cutest daughter...she always said that 'I loved papa' before she was 1 year old..."

"Shopkeeper, that's a memory you made up."

I remember a kid has to be about 2 before the kid starts to talk.

(What now, Muttsulini? I couldn't get through to the shopkeeper at all.)

(...How about we talk about his daughter?)

( I see. Maybe we can get a response out of him.)

The shopkeeper was just muttering about things regarding his daughter. If we talk about his daughter, he should have a response, right?

"Well..."

"Erm...hm?"

"How's your daughter li--"

"I give you 5 seconds to pray to god."

Immediately, a chilly object is placed at my neck.

"Hol, hold on a moment, shopkeeper! Besides, where did you get that knife from!?"

"Ah, ahh, I'm terribly sorry...you're the boy who's working today, right? You're not that guy who wants to take away my cute little angel..."

"Ye, yeah, you're mistaken there."

"Hahaha...sorry there..."

The shopkeepr keeps the knife back into his clutches. Seems like I managed to protect my carotid pulse.

Now that we said so much, is this shopkeeper really alright?

How's Muttsulini's assessment?

(Muttsulini, how is it? Do you find this shopkeeper 'safe' or 'out'?)

(...Try it again.)

You want a 3rd out? That's an appropriate assessment.

But what should I do now? I need my money if I want to survive, and even if the shopkeeper's like this, I can't just say go and then go away...

Just as I'm worrying about how to work together with the shopkeeper,

"Uu, my uniform's the only one different here..."

"Give it up, Hideyoshi. This is for work."

"...Since this is for the money, I don't really have much to argue about..."

Yuuji and Hideyoshi's voices can be heard from behind.

"Ah, you two, how long do you need to change clothes--"

Turning back to look at their attire, I was completely flabbergasted

The tall Yuuji is rather suited to be dressed as a waiter, so I'll let that pass, but the problem's the other person.

"Sorry. This uniform is really hard to wear. Took me quite a while to wear it."

Hideyoshi tugs at his dress. Anyone will think that he's a waitress.

Eh, should I say something here...

"Hi, Hideyoshi, that really suits you--"

Just as I was about to praise Hideyoshi about this--

"DEAR MY DAUGTHHHHEEEERRRR--"

On seeing Hideyoshi in the uniform, the shopkeeper suddenly opens his arms wide and leaps towards Hideyoshi like a weird bird.

"WHA, WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"SHOP, SHOPKEEPER? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!"

"DEAR MY DAUGTHHHHEEEERRRR--"

No way! We can't get through to him!

"Can't be helped! Yuuji, get ready to fight!"

"Got--no wait! We can't hit him! Why is there such a weird movement!?"

"MUTTSULINI, TASER THE SHOPKEEPER!"

"...Can't lock on to target!"

The shopkeeper's moving like a doppleganger. Even Yuuji and Muttsulini can't stop him! If this keeps up, Hideyoshi will be in danger!

"HIDEYOSHI!!!"

"WHA, WHAT DO I DO???"

"TRY AND STOP HIM! SHOUT SOMETHING 'A TEENAGE GIRL WOULD SAY WHEN HE READS HER SECRET DIARY'!"

"I, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT I'LL TRY!!"

After I gave him a scenario, Hideyoshi flipped into an actor on a stage.

"...I HATE DADDY THE MOST!!!"

Such a vicious and spiteful line there. Now that his cute (fake) daughter said this, the shopkeepr should be shocked--

"REALLY...HOW ABOUT YOU BATH TOGETHER WITH PAPA!!!"

What the heck, no effect at all! Or rather, isn't there something wrong with this conversation!? Either way, there's no 'bath together with papa' option here!?

"If that's the case, we'll let him calm down through violence! Back away, Hideyoshi, take off that uniform! Yuuji, Muttsulini, we're going all out!!"

"""Roger!"""

"DEAR MY DAUGTHHHHEEEERRRR--"

After setting the taser power to the maximum and hitting him hard 4 times, the shopkeeper finally can't get up.

<center>☆</center>

“What should we do now?”

“What else can we do? The shopkeeper already became like this, we can't do anything on our own. Let's just put a 'closed for today' sign here.

The shopkeeper that just went berserk has collapsed onto the floor with white eyes now. Good thing there isn't any damage done to the stop, but the four of us can't possibly open the shop on our own like that.

“I say that we still have a chance of working next time.”

In order to prevent the shopkeeper from going berserk again, Hideyoshi took that skirt off and puts on the male waiter uniform again. But this looks really cute. How awkward.

“Can't be helped. Let's find another chance to work.”

“...Too bad.”

“Eh? Does this mean that the money--”

“Of course we can't get it, we haven't even worked.”

“I, I see...you're right...”

Really a pity. Of course I feel bad about not being able to get my pay, but I was really looking forward to serving people professionally. I had no chance to do that during the school festival Really want to try it...the moment the door rings and opens, and then I energetically say 'welcome' to the customers--

--Ding dong

“Welcome!”

Such a greeting may be rather interesting. That's really...strange?

“That's great! The shop's open. We're still worrying about how to spend the time~”

“Yup. This is great.”

Treating my practice as a response, the two nee-sans who look like office ladies walk into the shop! Damn it! How can I say 'we're closed for today' now

(Oi Akihisa! Why did you just greet them?)

(I, I'm sorry! I didn't mean! I just thought of it in my mind and then they just appeared at this moment...)

I just naturally greeted them because the timing was perfect. Coincidence is really scary!

(This is bad. The way I see it, I don't think we can just chase them away like that...)

(...We can only do our best before the shopkeeper wakes up.)

(Uu...I'm sorry.)

Though I don't know how long it'll take for the shopkeeper on the other side to wake up, right now, the four of us can only only the front. To think that we would actually end up in such a predicament that we can't back out from.

(Sigh, can't be helped...but at least if they makes things that are on the menu. We should be able to make them, so let's give it a go. Akihisa and Hideyoshi will be in charge of serving the customers. Muttsulini, you take the kitchen. As for drinks, I'll be in charge.)

(I got it.)

(...Understood.)

Yuuji walks into the bar counter, and Muttsulini disappears into the kitchen, while Hideyoshi and me are in charge of serving outside, so of course, we have to remain in the hall.

(Akihisa, let me try this first. You'll take the next group.)

(Um, got it.)

After saying that to me, Hideyoshi, dressed in a waiter's uniform, walks towards the customers at the door.)

“Two of you? Please follow me.”

Leading the first customers for the day, Hideyoshi brings them to the table near the window. While the customers are sitting down, Hideyoshi uses this time to leave for a while before taking the tray with glasses of ice water to to their table.

“Once you're done deciding on what you want, please kindly notify me.”

After bowing courteously to the customers, Hideyoshi turns and heads back. Great, those customers don't seem to have found out anything.

“Yuuji, there's no problem with the drinks right?”

“Hm, I should be able to make the easy ones. Muttsulini will handle the food, so there shouldn't be any problems.”

At this moment, I suddenly feel that Yuuji and Muttsulini's talents are so reliable here. Of course, I'm also envious of them.

Just when these complicated thoughts are in my mind, Hideyoshi also finishes his work of delivering the tea as he returns to me.

“As expected of Hideyoshi. It's foolproof.”

“Ya, it's nothing if I treat this as acting. And since there aren't that much audience, I can perform better.”

It's true. Hideyoshi's face isn't stiff or awkward. I should learn from him.

“Right, I should do my best!”

“That's the spirit, but don't be too jumpy. If you're too nervous, it may affect your movements, or you may end up biting your tongue.”

Anyway, Hideyoshi's telling me not to get nervous and or slip my tongue, right? Since this is what someone with experience said, I should remember that. The most important thing is 'not to fall' and 'don't slip your tongue'.

--Ding dang!

Oh, customers are here. Time for me to me! Watch it, don't 'bite my tongue' and 'don't fall'!

“Welchiam!”

Bit my tongue.

“““...”””

The three nee-sans who just stepped in lower their heads to restrain their laughter. Damn it, I really want to cry and run away.

Bu, but how can I feel dejected after just a minor mistake! Must calm down, don't bite my tongue. I take a deep breath—

“—Welchiam...”

CLANG! (I rush inwards)

“AH! Kiddo, aren't you going to greet us?”

“Don't worry! We're not laughing at you!”

“Try it again? Okay?”

Uu! Why am I so useless!?

“Wh, what is it, Akihisa? Why did it end up like that?”

Seeing me run back like this, Hideyoshi couldn't hide his look of intrigue.

Ahh...I'm really envious that everyone could remain so calm...but how can I run away! Got to face them!

“So, sorry, I was a little confused just now.”

I returned back to the customers, bow my head and apologized. The customers giggle as they forgive me of my actions. Good thing they're kind-hearted customers.

“Then, please allow me to lead you to your table.”

After recollecting myself, I bring the customers to the cabin table near the window and serve up the menu and ice water. While they start to decide on their orders, I return back to the bar counter.

“Oh, I see that my customers are almost done.”

Hideyoshi notices the actions of the first group of customers and then walks over to them.

“Excuse me, but may I know what you have decided on?”

“Please give us an Espresso, a lemonade and two seasoned smoothies.”

“Okay, please let me confirm your order. An Espresso, a lemonade and two seasoned smoothies. Please hold on, your order will be served soon.”

Hideyoshi takes back the menus that the customers used and returns back to the bar counter.

“An Espresso, a lemonade and two seasoned smoothies.”

“Got it.”

“...(Nods head).”

After Hideyoshi said finish, Yuuji and Muttsulini immediately got to work. Sure feels good.”

“Akihisa, the table over there seems to be done as well.”

“Ah, that's true. I'll go take their order.”

Like what Hideyoshi said, the customers I led are looking here now. I see, so I just need to ask them 'may I have your order please?'. Okay, I'll do my job well.

Taking a deep breath--

“Dexcuse me...”

Pzzztt!

The customers spit out ice water, causing the shop to have a fresh rainbow arc.

“...Excuse me, may I have your order, please?”

I really, really want to bury myself into a hole.

"The, then, I want a hot cocoa and a cheesecake. Do your best."

"I want an orange juice and scones. Do your best."

"I, I want milk tea and a Montblanc[http://www.baka-tsuki.net/project/index.php?title=Baka_to_Tesuto_to_Syokanju:Volume3.5_Translation_Notes_and_References#]. Do your best."

"O, okay, thank you very much..."

After taking the menus back, I say to Yuuji and Muttsulini,

"Hot cocoa, orange juice, milk tea, cheese cake, scones, Montblanc, one each. And 3 'do your best'."

"...Why are the customers encouraging you?"

"...Did something happen after opening the shop?"

Yuuji and Muttsulini probably won't even understand my feelings since they're not in charge of serving.

I prepare the cups as I wait for the desserts to be ready. After which, I then deliver the food and drinks onto their table. I just served it to them, and yet I got told 'You did brilliantly'. It's really heart-aching...

And thus, time slowly starts to pass--

--DING DONG!

“Welcome, may I know how many of you?”

Hideyoshi says as he greets the customers who enter the shop.

We're not too busy and also not too bored to tears, the customers start to come in one by one...ah, there are customers here as well, and these are the first male customers of the day. Okay, watch me!

“Welcome, may I know how many of you?”

“Oh, there's two of—eh, isn't this Yoshii? What are you doing here?”

The customers who stepped into the shop shouted when they saw me. Speaking of which, where have I met this pair before? Baldy...mohawk head...pair...bra on head...

“Ahh! It's the hentai sempais!”

“WHO IN THIS WORLD WILL CALL SUCH A NAME!?”

“WE'RE TSUNEMURA AND NATSUKAWA! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR MEMORY!?”

That's right, they're the Toko-Natsu duo.

“My apologies, please let me lead you to your seats.”

“That's really disrespectful...”

Though they're perverts, they're still customers as well. I still nod my head respectfully and led them to their seats before serving them ice water.

“Once you're done with your selections, please notify me, thank you.”

After saying that, I return back to the orders station, and not far away, Hideyoshi, who was serving other customers, is back.

“Oi, you two.”

While the customers are still deciding on what to order, I was preparing the towels when Yuuji suddenly called me from behind the counter.

“What is it, Yuuji?”

“It's regarding the drinks. The milk today doesn't seem to be here, and there's none left. If the customers want to order any milk-based beverages, you have to watch out.

Speaking of which, one of the selling points of this shop is the fresh milk they provide. But if that's the case, we have to be careful of the customers ordering milk-based drinks.

“I got it. I'll make sure to be careful about the milk-based drinks.”

“Ahh, thanks guys.”

After saying that, Yuuji returns to the bar.

"Excuse me~"

The group of customers called. It's Hideyoshi's group.

"Yes, I'll be there."

Hideyoshi takes the order form and prepares to take the orders from the customers.

"May I know what you have decided?"

"Yes, we'll like to have an ice coffee and ice milk tea."

"I'm really sorry, but we ran out of milk. We can prepare iced red tea immediately though. May I?"

"Ah, I see~ then I'll have iced red tea then."

"I'm really sorry. Let me confirm your order. One iced coffee and one iced red tea. Please wait, the drinks will be served soon."

After bowing to the customers, Hideyoshi returns to the bar.

I see. So I have to serve them like this. Better remember this.

“Oi, can we order now?”

“Ah, yes, we’ll serve you.”

Hearing the Toko-Natsu pair call, I immediately grab the menu and head towards them. Got to watch out if they order anything milk-related.

“May I know what do you like to order?”

“Hm, I want ice coffee.”

Hm, so mohawk head ordered a cup of coffee. No problems.

“I want milk tea.”

Oh, we got a problem. No need to panic, I just need to follow what Hideyoshi did.

“Dear customer, I’m really sorry.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“We ran out of milk, so we need to switch the milk into ice. I hope you can understand.”

“THAT’S JUST ORDINARY ICE!!!”

“Please hold on, we’ll be serving the drinks soon.”

“ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?”

I bow towards them as I return back to the bar counter and notified Yuuji and the rest what they ordered. As there’re only drinks, it was completed immediately.

I put the two drinks on the tray, taking care not to let them spill out.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. This is your iced coffee.”

“Oh.”

I serve the iced coffee in front of the mohawk-head sempai.

“This is ice.”

“I DON’T WANT THAT!”

The baldy-sempai doesn’t seem to be satisfied with what he ordered as he is suddenly outraged.

Even so, it’s our fault that we ran out of milk, so why don’t we give him a special discount—okay!

“Dear customer, please relax. We’ll charge you half price for this drink.”

“THERE’S NO NEED TO CHARGE MONEY FOR THAT!!”

I already made way, but seems like the baldy-sempai doesn’t understand. Uu~hm, how bothersome…

“If there’s no milk, just get me a mix. No need the ice!”

“A mix…is it? I got it.”

Now the order has changed. No ice, just a mix.

“Yuuji, I wan—eh, where did he go?”

I couldn’t find Yuuji anywhere in the bar counter. Most likely, he went behind to do something. Really, it’s not good to keep an emotional customer waiting…can’t be helped, I’ll have to make the drinks this time.

“But how am I going to make a mix?”

Even if it’s me, I know a mix refers to a coffeemix. The problem is what kind of coffee do they want.

Since it’s called a mix, it means a mix of several stuff, right—ah, I know.

I pour the coffee that Yuuji prepared into the cup, put the cup onto the tray and serve it to the customer.

“Sorry to make you wait. This is the mix you ordered.”

“Oh, we did wait long.”

I place the cup in front of baldy-sempai. The sempai immediately straightens his back proudly as he reaches for the cup.

“Oh yeah, what did you mix inside?”

Before the cup reached the lips, baldy-sempai suddenly asked me. Well, that—

“A mix of iced coffee and hot coffee.”

“DON’T MIX THESE TWO THINGS TOGETHER! THAT’LL JUST MAKE THE COFFEE WARM!!”

“I can also go by your personal preference and add tabasco and toothpicks if you want.”

“WHO WOULD HAVE SUCH A LIKING!?”

The baldy-sempai roared out with a fuming red face.

What should I do now? Such a ruckus will bring discomfort to others. At this moment, should I…oh yeah! I can calm him down by talking about something else!

“Oh yes, dear customer…”

“What? You want to say something?”

The baldy-sempai retorted angrily. In order to make him calm down I show a smile as I try to talk to him.

“Speaking of which, why aren’t you wearing the bra on your head today?”

“GET OUT! WE’LL TALK OUTSIDE!!”

The plan failed. My efforts earned the wrath of the baldy-sempai as he takes the cup of coffee. Is he planning to splash it on me?

“HOW CAN I LET YOU DO THAT!?”

Sensing danger, I leap aside. The coffee that missed flies—

“AH!”

—and splashes onto the nearby Hideyoshi.

““Ah…””

Hideyoshi’s clothes are dyed with a large stain of coffee.

“So, sorry, I wasn’t aiming at you…”

The baldy-sempai bows to Hideyoshi in apology. Even if he’s a sempai, what he did was too much.

“No need, please don’t mind.”

Hideyoshi responds with a gentle acting smile. That, that’s definitely a professional level!

(Sorry to get you involved, Hideyoshi.)

(No need to worry, I just need to change clothes.)

(Hearing you say this, you really helped me out here.)

After exchanging a few words, Hideyoshi nods his head at the customer before heading to the restroom. He must be trying to get rid of the dirtied clothes.

—Speaking of which, are there any clothes for him to change into?

<center>☆</center>

--DING DONG!

"Hello, and welcome."

As Hideyoshi went to change clothes, I'm the one in charge of serving the customers this time.

On seeing my face, the customer lets out a bright smile.

"Hello, we're here, Akihisa-kun."

"Eh? Himeji-san?"

Walking into the shop is my classmate Himeji Mizuki-san. As there's no lesons today, her attire is of ordinary plainclothes. Though she's wearing a common shortskirt and T-shirt, her cute looks makes anything she wears look good on her. I really want to take her home.

"Not bad Aki. Heh~This really suits you, you know."

"Eh? Even Minami's here?"

Standing beside Himeji-san is my other classmate named Shimada Minami. She's wearing ordinary jeans and a T-shirt. Of course, this looks rather alluring, but if I'm to bring her home, I'll (my body and house) will defeinitely meet a tragic end.

[[Image:BTS vol 03.5 265.jpg|thumb]]

"Oi oi oi, Mr waiter, stop standing around. Can you lead us to our seats?"

Minami snickers at me as she waves her hand.

Ugh! Why do I feel that Minami's S-personality is appearing and disappearing at the same time!? [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/project/index.php?title=Baka_to_Tesuto_to_Syokanju:Volume3.5_Translation_Notes_and_References#]

"Ah, okay, may I know how many of you are there?"

Even if we're friends, a customer's still a customer. I have to serve them well.

"4 of us."

"Eh? 4?"

But there's only Himeji-san and Minami in front of me. Who's the last one?

"One will be here later, as for the other one..."

Minami said as she looks into the shop.

"...Yuuji, hiding something from your wife is the start of having an affair."

"What's going on? I seem to hear Shouko's voice even when she's not supposed to be here! Is this a curse!?"

Class A's rep Kirishima-san is already standing behind Yuuji from who knows when.

"Kirishima-san told us that Akihisa-kun and the rest were working here."

"Ah, I see."

It'll be too rude to say 'but we didn't tell Kirishima-san about this~'. Let's just treat it as if a lovestruck girl's movements can't be underestimated.

"Anyway, please follow me."

""Okay~""

I lead them to a four-seater table and serve up some ice water.

After a while, Kirishima-san's seated as well.

"May I know what you have decided on?"

i ask the three of them who're looking at the menu.

"Hm~ what should I order?"

"Every item here looks good."

Himeji-san and Kirishima-san still seem like they're unable to decide. Both of them don't seem to have entered this shop before.

If I can just recommend them something...ah, that's it.

"Well, the last time I came here, I felt taht the crepes were rather delicious.

No don't know if Muttsulini can replicate the taste, but I guess that guy has no problems with it, since there's the recipe for reference.

"...The last time you came here?"

What Himeji-san was interested in wasn't the crepes. I wasn't trying to talk about that...

"Ah, that...who did you go with?"

"Eh? With Minami--GWOH!"

"I, idiot! Mizuki! That...don't be mistaken, it's not like that! We didn't come alone here!"

Minami suddenly stuffed my mouth.

(Aki! stop spouting nonsese! Anyway, just follow what I say!)

Minami softly said that to me, and I can only nod my head. I don't know what's going on, but I better follow what she says.

"Eh? Not just the two of you? I, I see. If that's so..."

"Is, isn't this nonsense, right, Aki~"

"Uu, yeah. It wasn't just two people. There were four, including Yuuji!"

CRACK!!!

My right wrist got dislocated.

(Why are you saying things that're obviously lies! Sakamoto's here, can't they just ask him?)

"...Yoshii, who's the last one?"

Kirishima-san expression reaches her hand out for my left hand. If my answer can't satisfy her, this life can't possibly remain for long.

"The, the last one...is that person! Right Aki?"

"Ye, yeah! It's that person, that--"

If I'm to talk about someone who's here, the lie will definitely be seen through. If so, even if I can talk about someone who's unrelated to us, it won't feel realistic, so that won't do. And since we were in this kind of shop, a girl's name will seem more natural than a guy's...

"That---we came with takahashi-sensei!"

CRRAAACCCKKK!!!

"WAAHHH!! MY WRIST JOINT WAS JUST REATTACHED AND IS NOW ABOUT TO BE DISLOCATED AGAIN!"

"SO I SAY, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID TO MAKE SUCH A STUPID LIE! HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY BE HERE WITH TAKAHASHI-SENSEI!?"

"Eh? What? It was a lie? So Akihisa-kun did come here with Minami?"

"...'A hellish gate has opened. Compensate the crime with your death. Are you ready, Yuuji?'"

“What, what happened!? Why is Shouko showing a battle stance!?”

Yuuji’s within range of Kirishima-san’s attack, and I’m currently under violence from Minami. In such a situation, what can I do…

--DING DONG!

“Sorry I’m late—eh, what’s everyone doing?”

The one who broke this deadlock situation is everyone’s idol Kinoshita Hideyoshi—as if, that person is…

“…Yuuko.”

That’s right, it’s Hideyoshi’s twin sister Kinoshita Yuuko-san. So the last one who will be here later was Kinoshita-san. It’s really rare for the four of them to move together.

“Incho, Shimada-san, calm down. It’s not good to stir up violence in somebody else’s shop!”

Kinoshita-san stares at Kirishima-san and Minami, who were preparing to attack us. Seems like I haven’t heard of such a logical statement after a long time.

“…But Yuuji, he—”

“Idiotic Aki actually—”

“Stop giving me excuses. If you do that, wouldn’t the other customers be bothered?”

“…Got it.”

“You’re right…”

Being scolded by Kinoshita-san, both of them immediately stopped their acts of murder. Are we saved?

“Oh ho, my sister really can talk.”

“Ya, Hideyoshi! Good thing your sister helped us out—WAH, WHAT’S WITH THAT GETUP!?”

Hideyoshi, who ended up beside us since who knows when, is now in that gentle waitress uniform.

“Ohh, that’s because I couldn’t find any waiter uniform that suits me, so I could only wear this.”

Hideyoshi said this as he lifts the shortskirt slightly. Is that so? So there aren’t any more uniforms to choose from.

“Sigh, so what? Once the customers see you as a waitress, they should be rather happy.”

With such a cute face, and such a defenseless action, any guy will be staring at Hideyoshi’s legs.

“Like this?”

“Sort of.”

Okay okay, good thing there’s nothing that’ll create such a huge commotion. We should continue work—

“Hideyoshi, can---------`` you please wait?”

—Or so we wanted to, but Kinoshita Yuuko-san is standing in front of us.

“Uuoh? Ane-san, anything’s the problem?”

HIdeyoshi got his hand held firmly by his sister, but he just tilts his head, not understanding why as he asks.

“Don’t worry too much. Yoshii-san, where’s the washroom?”

“Eh? Over there.”

“Really? Thanks.”

After I pointed at the washroom, Kinoshita-san grabbed Hideyoshi’s wrist as she carries a smile, heading to the washroom.

“Ah, yea, incho and Shimada-san…”

The moment she was about to disappear, Kinoshita-san suddenly left these words.

“I take back what I said just now. Forget about disturbing others, those things you don’t like, you can just deal with them however you want♪”

‘BAAM’ After that, the sound of the washroom door being slammed can be heard.

“Ane-san, what’s going on? Why are you grabbing onto my wrist?”

“I’m about to ask you why are you wearing such a short skirt and moving around? I did say it before, right? Because you’re so reckless, I ended up having everyone staring at me so weirdly, so I warned you not to do that already, right?

“Ahahaha, what are you saying. Isn’t ane-san always walking around in her underweat at home? Right now, you don’t really have to hide it—AH, ANE-SAN! NOOO! MY JOINTS CAN’T GO INTO THAT DIRECTION!!!”

“…Yuuji, I already got permission. Tell me everything about your date with Takahashi-sensei.”

“What are you saying? And even though you asked me to spill the beans, it doesn’t seem like you have any interest in listening! Am I thinking too much!?”

“Th, that, Akihisa-kun! As for what we talked about just now, so you and Minami really…”

“It, it, it, it, it’s not like that, Mizuki! Aki’s an idiot, so his memory is a little chaotice!”

“GYAH! MINAMI, CALM DOWN, LET GO OF MY HAND! IF THIS KEEPS UP, I’LL HAVE ANOTHER WRIST JOINT!!!”

Just as this hellish depcition is raised all over the shop—

“WHA, WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING INSIDE THE SHOP!!!”

The shop roar echoes throughout the shop.

“Shop, shopkeeper?”

“Really, what are you doing when other people are unconscious? Forget about opening the shop, to actually do such things in front of the customers, what in the world are you people thinking!!!”

The forceful shout sounded really spine-chilling.

No matter how weak he is, he’s still a shopkeeper. He can actually stop the angry Minami, Kirishima-san and Kinoshita-san. If that’s the case, me, Yuuji and Hideyoshi won’t be killed, right? Great, this is great…

“Dear customers, I’m really sorry. Please don’t mind these brats and continue to enjoy your teatime and resttime here.”

The shopkeeper bows to the customers one by one. Now the shop should be back to normal, right? Just as I put my hand on my chest, thinking that everything’s over—

—DING DONG!

The doorbell at the entrance lets out a sharp sound. Looking there, what seems like a mother and daughter combination walks into the shop.

“So how is it, ‘papa’? Have you reflected properly?”

The one who said this to the shopkeeper was a girl with two spiral like curls. I seemed to have met her before.

“Mi, Miharu? DEAR MY ANGLE!!”

The shopkeeper immediately froze and reveals a teary look.

“That’s great, shopkeeper, at least your daughter and wife are back.”

“Yoshii-san…thank you…”

That’s good, that’s good, now at least there’s a happy ending. Since I don’t have to be executed and can also can my salary, and the shopkeeper got his wife and daughter back, everything’s okay.

“Miharu…wll never, ever leave papa again…”

The shopkeeper tearily stumbles towards his daughter, and the daughter slowly walks to the shopkeeper.

“Ah! Is that, Minami onee-sama? Are you here to look for Miharu? Aiya, if you had said so earlier, Miharu would have set the entire shop up and waited for you.”

“Mi, Miharu! Is this your house!?”

But walking halfway, the daugther suddenly turns and widens her arms to try and hug Minami forcefully.

“…Mi…haru?”

“Sho, shopkeeper?”

Seeing the scene in front of him, the shopkeeper froze. Why do I see a large black terrifying aura behind him?

“…So it was you…”

As if he just returned from the depths of hell, the shopkeeper lets out a low bellow.

“So it was you? You damned woman who tricked MY DAUGHTTTAAAA!!!”

Suddenly, the shopkeeper shockingly increased his speed. This movement may be able to match Muttsulini’s summoned beast in speed!

“Shop, shopkeeper! If you’re going to lose your cool here, everyone’s going to go crazy! And besides, isn’t the saying ‘you damned woman who tricked my daughter’ too strange? Haven’t you realized it?”

“DEAR MY DAUGTTTHHHHHEEEEERRRRR!!!!”

I can’t stop him at all!

“…Yuuji, get ready to be punished.”

“So I say, what are you talking about!? Why must I be punished by you—GYYAAAHHHHOOOOOOHHH!!!”

“Hideyoshi, you haven’t fainted yet? The main course’s starting now.”

“Ah, ane-san! NO! MY JOINT CAN’T GO THERE…UU!!”

“Akihisa-kun! You haven’t answered my question! So you and Minami went on a date!?”

“A date with onee-sama!? THIS ROTTEN PIG! I’M GOING TO DICE YOU UP!!”

“DEAR MY DAUGTTTHHHHHEEEEERRRRR!!!!”

“You, you’re mistaken, uncle! I’m not with Miharu, but with Aki!”

“MI, MINAMI! DON’T GET ME INVOLVED! EH? WHY IS THE SHOPKEEPR COMING RIGHT AT ME! SOMEONE, SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!!!!”

[[Image:BTS vol 03.5 277.jpg|thumb]]

<center>☆</center>

“…And then?”

“Urm, anyway—I just hope that mother-sama can graciosuly send me my pocket money. Please…”

“Really, you…”

“I, I tried my best, but my luck was bad, and with a lot of things that happened, there was a lot of disasters.”

“Sigh, can’t be helped. I’ll just help you out this time.”

“Really? Mother-sama, thank you very much!”

“But if you’re not going to live your life properly—”

“If I don’t live my life properly?”

“I’ll send Akira over and make her watch every single move you make!”

“…Who’s that? I don’t seem to know her.”

“Are you so stupid that you forgot your own family member’s name?”

“MOM! PLEASE SHOW MERCY! I, I ALWAYS LIKED LIVING ALONE!”

“Shut up! If you want to live alone, you have to live properly!”

“MOM! MOM! PLEASE, JUST LISTEN TO ME!!!”

Du, du, du…

“…It should be alright, right? She just said, if only I live my life properly…right?”

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