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Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 Glossary and Notes

2009-04-16T06:46:16Z

61.11.175.146:

=== /6 Spiral Paradox === 

'''Ogawa Mansion''' - The Japanese usage of the word 'mansion' refers not to a large house, like the Ryougi family estage (or the Tohno Mansion in Tsukihime), but to a large or luxury apartment. It can be used to refer to a single apartment or to an entire apartment building. 

=== /7 Spiral Paradox === 

'''Shinai''' - A bamboo practice sword. 

'''Kuji''' - The nine signs of power, a charm to aid a warrior in battle - They are: rin-pyo-to-sha-kai-jin-retsu-zai-zen. 

'''3LDK''' - An apartment with 3 rooms, lounge, and kitchen. 

=== /12 Spiral Paradox, 9 === 

'''Gehenna''' - A valley to the southwest of Jerusalem in Israel. Sometimes called the "Valley of Hinnom". This names originates from the Hebrew name of "the valley of Hinnom's son". The name is sometimes used to represent hell because Canaanites and Jerusalem inhabitants gathered there to burn their children as sacrifices for the god Moloch.

'''gnosis''' - Complete knowledge of this universe. The word comes from the Greek and can be translated as understanding, awareness, or wisdom. However, because of the complicated religious and other entwined meanings implied by the word, it is normally referred to as gnosis.

'''keloid''' - a growth on the body formed by a tissue swelling up and becoming hard. Normally they swell up flat and many are red and have a shiny surface. Keloid scars are often left behind on skin that has suffered a severe burn.

'''ether''' - The substance called the fifth element within the Association. Melting into the four great elements, it becomes the medium that is essential to form a shape. Within that whole it has no shape, but without this substance, no magecraft can be achieved.

'''Yanma''' - The king of hell in Buddhism.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 012

2009-04-16T06:45:41Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/12 (Spiral Paradox, 9)''' 

The red sun lights up the spiral tower. 

Within the orange world confronted by the approach of sunset, Aozaki Touko set foot on the grounds of the apartment building. 

The brown-dyed lizardskin longcoat doesn't suit her thin body. It looked more like armor than clothing. 

She looked up at the building once, then lifted up the orange bag in one hand and started to walk. 

Passing the lawn covered in green grass, she enters the mansion. 

Constructed of glass, the lobby has been dyed a deep red by the light of the setting sun. 

The floor, the wall, and even the column that holds the elevator leading upstairs, they are all as red as if they were inside the sun. 

After thinking for a brief moment, she changes her destination. 

And so she walks to the side that doesn't face the elevator, the east side of the lobby. 

...Divided in two, this building has separate lobbies on the east and west sides. 

She goes to one of those, the lobby on the first floor of the east building. 

The lobby is a wide semicircular space. 

The second-floor ceiling is clearly visible, so it feels like some huge reception hall. Here inside the building, there is no orange light from the setting sun. Only the yellow illumination of the overheads shines off the marble floor. 

"How surprising. You are very impatient, aren't you." 

High-pitched for one of his sex, a man's voice echoes through the lobby. 

Touko doesn't say anything in response, and wordlessly lifts her gaze. 

The stairway that connects to the second floor by way of its gentle incline. In the center stands a man in a red coat. 

"But that's a delightful thing, too. Hurry on in, to my [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Gehenna]]. I welcome you, greatest of doll-makers." 

Laughing joyfully, the mage Cornelius Alba greets her with an overdramatic gesture as if he were an actor on a stage. 

*** 

"Gehenna (Hell)?" 

"Of course. This is the recreation of the altar of fire that was in the Valley of Hinnom. It's a tool within which we've gathered the concepts from burning, killing, and torturing people '''(I think my translation of this is a little off)'''. Although unfortunately, Moloch, who is the owner of this God's Palace (?), is away at the moment. How splendid is it? A twisted dimension of this level should be completely separated from the physical laws of the outside world. Preparations for opening the path were finished long ago, Aozaki." 

The red mage looks down at Touko and speaks confidently. 

Contrary to the energetic young man, she keeps her emotions locked away as she replies. 

"How amusing for Agrippa's direct descendant to be wallowing in the religion of the Jews. That's why you still haven't understood the true nature of this place. Hell? That kind of thing exists somewhere on this Earth at this very moment. If you want to see murder on a scale that the human mind cannot comprehend, go to a battlefield. If you wish to see humans dying on a scale you could never believe, just go to any starving nation. Something like this isn't hell. It's merely purgatory, this." 

And she puts her bag down upon the floor. 

Tock. A dry sound. 

"A place where eternally tormented souls who committed small crimes and cannot go to heaven or hell reside. That is the true identity of this place. A closed loop where the torture isn't carried out to fulfill some purpose, but where the whole purpose is to torture. In something like this, there isn't any thaumatergical effect --- or at least, not for a outsider like you." 

The piercing words cause the red mage to twitch, and a spasm to run across his face. 

She narrows her eyes, as if she was facing the building instead of the youth on the stairway. 

"This Taeguekdo structure isn't of your doing is it? That's enough, so bring Araya out. You aren't competent enough, and there isn't anything that would benefit you in the events that will occur now. I'm not sure what your objectives are, but there aren't any values here that are easy enough for you to understand. I'll say that at least, in return for your warning last time." 

Touko looks around as if saying, that's all. Without giving the red mage who is standing right in front of her another glance, she looks for someone who isn't even there. 

The mage keeps looking at her acting like that. 

With eyes full of hatred that looks as if tears could come out at any moment. 

"You... were always like that." 

That mutter was something that flowed out because he couldn't take it any longer. 

"Yes. You were always like that. You always underestimated me like that. I specialized in Rune before you. I was also the one who was famed as a dollmaker, I alone. But those feeble-minded idiots were fooled by that attitude of yours. Your condescending attitude, it gave them the impression that I was inferior to you. It's obvious if you think about it! I'm the director of Suponheim, aren't I? I have spent over forty years as a mage. So why was it that I had to be below a little girl who had just entered her twenties...?!" 

His muttering, growing steadily louder, now filled the lobby. 

Touko-san stares disinterestedly at this person, who has now abandoned all pretense of friendliness and pours abuse upon her. 

"Age isn't important when it comes to academics. It's all right to make yourself look young, Cornelius. But it's because you are so concerned with your outward appearance that the contents don't match up." 

That one cold statement, it was a provocative insult like no other to the other mage. 

The face of the handsome young man whose age has passed fifty contorts with hatred. 

"--- Haven't I explained my objective yet?" 

With a strained sense of calm, the red mage changes the flow of the conversation. 

"You know, I don't care what happens to an useless thing like Araya's experiment. To tell you the truth, I don't have any interest in the Maelstrom of Origins. Chasing after something that may or may not exist, it's nonsense. If you wish to intrude upon the domain of God, all you have to do is devote yourself to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|gnosis]]. There's no reason to go upstream." 

He falls back one step. As if to get to the second floor, little by little, he climbs the stairs. 

"It was my own decision to tell you about Ryougi Shiki. Araya lost his life while capturing Ryougi Shiki. That fight was a draw. Following that, this ward became mine. But you know, I have no intention of continuing his experiment. It's obvious as to why. You see, Aozaki, the only reason I came to a godforsaken country like this was because I thought I could kill you!" 

Laughing so wildly as to make one worry that he might hurt his throat, the mage leaps up the stairs. 

She can only watch calmly as the mage goes up to the second floor. 

Because... the first-floor lobby was already full of things that could have been the realization of the mage's ill will. 

At that time, her words contained more scorn and hatred than ever before as she spoke. 

"--- Slimes, is it?" 

Aozaki quickly described the plasmous forms that were filling the space around her. 

But the things that were spreading out from the lobby walls weren't as simple as that. The cream-colored mucus dripped down from the wall and quickly took on a shape. 

Some took a human shape, others took the shapes of beasts. 

Their faces looked like [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|keloid]] and kept melting away, but these things that kept rebuilding themselves looked very real. If you were to take an example they were like real animals and humans who had rotted away for eternity, existences that were both disgusting and elaborate at the same time. 

"To think that you could only realize these sort of things in a place like this. Alba, it would be better for you to switch to being a film director rather than continue as a mage. If it was you, there would be no reason to worry about the budget for preparing special effects. Of course, you would have to specialize in cheap horror movies, but it would still be a much more suitable job for you than director." 

Surrounded by the objects that had filled the lobby, she muttered. 

Certainly, this scene was reminiscent of a horror movie. If you were to point out a difference, it would only be that crosses and holy bullets had no effect against these things. 

And so, although the slime-like objects had surrounded her on all sides but for a one-meter gap around her, she didn't bat a eyelash as she reached for the pocket inside her suit. 

...Tch. She clicks her tongue. Now that she thought about it, she had entrusted Mikiya with her cigarettes. Touko was slightly regretful. If she had known things were going to turn out like this she would have bought some Japanese brands at least, she muttered to herself. 

She hadn't expected such a boring outcome in her wildest dreams. How could she withstand this without smoking one cigarette at least ---. 

"No, you couldn't even be a director. Your presentation is too clumsy. Audiences these days won't be satisfied with just this. I suppose there's no helping it; I'll give you an example. Alba, if you're going to put forward a mystery, you will have to maintain this level at least." 

Tock. She kicked the bag beside her feet with the toe of her shoe. 

"--- Come out." 

An order full of authority, disallowing refusal. 

In response to that, the bag opens. Clunk, and the bag opens up like a tulip, but there is nothing inside. 

At the same time --- some black thing starts spinning around the mage called Aozaki Touko. 

The black thing was a hurricane with a body. 

With Touko as the eye of the storm, it spins round and round and round at a high speed. 

That was a force which could drive one crazy. 

Within a few seconds there is nothing in the lobby. Not a body or a shadow remained of the things that had flowed out of the walls. The only things there were Aozaki Touko and her closed bag. And the cat sitting in front of her. 

"--- What." 

Stunned, Alba could only look upon all this. 

The cat is bigger than Touko. Its body is night black, but does not possess any depth. A flat black cat made from shadow. No, he can't even tell if it is a cat. A shadow that resembled a cat. About where its head would be, there is a eye that looks like an Egyptian hieroglyph. 

"What, is that --- ?" 

From the second floor, he looked down at the cat. 

His gaze meets the cat's drawing-like eyes. When it does --- erasing the space where its mouth should have been, the cat gives him a broad smile. 

Was he having a nightmare? Alba swallows his breath. 

Touko doesn't say anything. 

The only noise is a scratchy chkchkchk noise coming from somewhere. 

"That's not right! Was the story that you lost your familiar to your sister only a lie...?!" 

As if he couldn't stand the silence, Alba shouts. 

She only replied with an 'I wonder' before shifting her glance to the black cat. 

"--- I fed you some nasty things. But this next one should taste a bit better. Real human flesh instead of these chunks of [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|ether]]. It should also have plenty of spiritual nutritional value. There's no need to go easy because he's my old schoolmate. I always told you, didn't I? That enemies are for eating." 

Instantly, the black cat starts running. 

Crossing the marble floor as if it were sliding along, it runs up the stairs. ...Even so, the cat's feet do not move. Only its eye moves as its sitting shadow races towards the red coated human. 

To get from the first-floor lobby where Touko was to the second-floor stairwell where Alba was, it probably hadn't taken ten seconds. 

But Alba wasn't some normal person to allow such a thing. 

He was a mage. 

"'''''Go away, shadow.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to touch things which are not visible.''''' 
'''''Forget the darkness.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to see things which are not touched.''''' 
'''''The question is prohibited.''''' 
'''''The answer is simple.''''' 
'''''I have the flame in the left hand.''''' 
'''''And I have everything in the right hand ---.'''''" 

Carefully, but with a speed which approached human limits, Alba chants his spell. 

--- Spells. Within the realm of mages, they were nothing more than suggestions aimed at oneself. 

There is a magecraft for causing wind to blow. Just like a certain type of weapon, this was a power which had an ability that was determined from the start. No matter what mage used it, its effect would not change. Only the incantation was different. 

The incantations called spells were for the purpose of activating the magecraft that one's body had become familiar with. Its contents showed the nature of the mage. That was because as long as you kept the necessary meanings and keywords for the activation of that particular piece of magecraft, the details of the incantation could be changed to suit the user's fancy. 

The incantations of a narcissistic and pompous mage who easily got infatuated with themself was long. But it was also true that the more meaning you put into the spell, the more powerful the final effect. This was because the stronger the suggestion you put upon yourself, the stronger the ability you pulled out from yourself would be. 

Taken in that light, Alba's incantation could be said to be outstanding. Not too long, holding the minimum required contents, and putting a phrase to fix his mind on top of that, the speaking of the incantation itself doesn't even take two seconds. 

At that fact Touko let out an exclamation of surprise, and admired the performance. 

The younger Alba had liked to use incantations that had been wasteful and longer then necessary, but it seemed that in the last few years he had definitely developed. 

His method and speed of forming the incantation, and his way of connecting his circuits in order to manipulate the physical world is remarkably precise. 

This incantation, in the realm of magecrafts that were designed to purely destroy things, was definitely first class. 

"'''''I am the order. Therefore,''''' 
''''''you will be defeated securely --- !'''''" 

Alba puts forward one arm. 

The instant that the black cat stepped onto the first of the steps, the air wavered faintly --- then the stairway erupted into flame. 

Like a wavering mirage rising up into the sky, a sea of blue flames fills the stairway. 

In a matter of seconds, the top of the flames that emerged from the stairs themselves have burned through the second floor and disappear into the ceiling. 

It looked like a geyser in some geothermal hotspot. 

Sucking dry all the oxygen in the lobby in an instant, the sea of flame instantly erased the black cat from the world. That was only to be expected, too. These thaumatergical flames that were well over a 1000 degrees Celsius. Any animal that entered them would soon be melted like butter and turn from a solid to a gas. Passing through the liquid stage wouldn't have taken the time required for a comma. 

But Alba saw it. 

The impossible shape of the black cat, suddenly appearing once all the flames had burned themselves out. 

"--- That can't be right." 

Blue eyes stare at the stairs. 

The black cat licked its thin black body as if it that last spell had been unsatisfactory, then shifted its gaze to the red mage. 

The black monster resumes its charge. 

Alba didn't even have the time to try and puzzle out the cat's nature. 

"'''''Repeat ... !'''''" 

With a tearing sharpness, Alba repeated his spell. 

The stairs erupted into flames. But this time the cat didn't even stop. It raced straight towards the mage as if saying it had already gotten used to this kind of fire. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

Once again the sea of flame roars up, and disappears. 

The cat was already nearing the top of the stairs. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

The fourth conflagration ended meaninglessly as well. 

Once the black cat reached the second floor, it went up to Alba and opened up its mouth. The body of the cat, which was as big as a man, opened up from head to toe. As if opening a treasure chest with the crown of its head as a lid. 

Inside of the flat, planar cat, the corpses of the protoplasmic creatures it had swallowed earlier are pasted like mud. 

Alba realized only then. That this thing was only taking the shape of a cat, and that it was an organism that had only a mouth. 

"'''''Repeat --- !'''''" 

With death in front of his eyes, terror makes him repeat his final spell. 

But before that, the shark's mouth in the body of a cat closes down upon the mage. When it swallowed him whole with his red coat, Alba lost consciousness. 

*** 

"'''''[Insert here].''''''" 

Suddenly a brief word was spoken. 

The cat that was in the process of biting Alba's body stopped moving. 

Even Touko, who had been just standing there watching like a spectator, responds to that sound. 

There is a man behind Alba. 

With fierce eyes full of an endless suffering, the man is wearing a black coat. 

There was no sign of his appearance, as if he had been there this whole time. 

The black man grabbed Alba, then pulled him out of the cat and threw him to the floor. Caught in one of the threefold circles the man carries about him, the cat cannot move. 

The man looks at the woman below him. With just that, the air in the lobby changed dramatically. 

Was this what they meant when they said "the air froze over"? 

The tranquil atmosphere disappears. As if the building itself was getting tense after welcoming its true owner. 

"--- Long time no see, Aozaki." 

"Yeah, although we probably didn't want to see each other." 

The first floor and the second floor --- divided between heaven and earth, Touko confronted the one called Araya Souren, who was the source of this disturbance. 

"It looks like Alba leapt about too much. I originally intended to finish this without your noticing. Well, it can't be helped. I could not prepare 64 bodies by myself. The fact that you are here in this city is probably coincidence as well as misfortune." 

"I don't know which side dragged the other in. But coincidence is the jargon for mystery. In order to disguise a law we can't figure out, we bring out the word coincidence." 

Giving that reply, Touko retreated towards the wall. 

This opponent is on a completely different level than Alba. Ability-wise they may have been similar, but in this building Araya Souren was greater than anyone else. If she does not put her back to the wall and concentrate on the enemy before her, she is bound to leave herself wide open. 

"--- So. What kind of mechanism is this mansion? It couldn't be that it is a box where the paradox of those who are dead being alive is made real, could it? It was concluded hundreds of years ago that fabricating a world where a day is complete and gathering the souls at the moment they die isn't effective. No matter how many hundreds of deaths you gather, you can't achieve your objective. 

"Of course. But there is a fact that you don't know. 

It's true that I was only pursuing the number of deaths. I was certain that if I experienced tens of thousands of different deaths among different people, I would be able to find a spiritual diffusion that led to the origin. However, with just that alone, I cannot reach the origin. The only thing that you can come close to with that is humanity's 'origin'. You cannot reach the origin of that totality known as the dominant organism. 

The important thing is not the amount of deaths. It's the quality of the deaths. If you approach the origin, the ways of dying become surprisingly well-defined. By dissecting the road to death, I determined that there are 64 different methods of dying. The ones who are gathered here are people who die in everyone of those 64 ways. In other words, they are a miniature copy of the world. I experience their suffering, and engrave it into my heart. In order that I may soon simplify that from [insert here] ([insert here]: Eight divination tools drawn in the Chinese Book of Divination [insert here 8 types]. It is said that the first emperor of China created them after observing the heavens) to [insert here] ([insert here]: The four symbols of Yin-Yang. Formed by the merging of Yin and Yang there are four the manifestations called [insert here 4]), so that I may reach Yangyi." 

"Hmph. Do you like things that are one that much, Araya? Light and darkness weren't divided because they had to oppose each other, but because that had the potential for containing the greatest number of things. Everything is lonely if it's by itself. That is everything tries to multiply. You were never able to forgive that. Investigating the various deaths of humans, and making that your own by researching those lives. You would probably take even my death and make it into a piece of knowledge about the life and death of a human called Aozaki Touko to be stored away in the corner of your brain. You mean to figure out the value of a human that way, but doing that is the role of [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Yanma]]. As a human yourself, all you can do is to continue existing in a hell that keeps sucking in deaths." 

"--- I'm perfectly content with that. Whether it's heaven or hell, the fact that it is close to the floor doesn't change." 

Araya's words contain not a hint of hesitation or regret. 

His ridiculously powerful will that concludes that he is alone in this world. 

Touko thinks. 

Within this building that repeats the spiral of daily life, the original form of all the deaths that humans experience is swirling around. The records that the physical body called Araya Souren contained until now, this building has succeeded him as their container. This place was him, his will itself. 

... So, that meant that she was inside his body. 

Touko observed the atmosphere filling the lobby as she muttered to herself. The strained air wasn't for Araya's benefit. Rather, it was the soundless hatred of all the residents who had been murdered by this building. 

This amount of hatred that threatens to crush even her, day by day, Araya keeps expanding it. To borrow his words it wasn't the amount he was increasing but the quality. Since in the end, all those hundreds of deaths were but one identical way of dying. 

Murder born from love, in other words family, lover, mother, father, child. 

Murder born of hatred, in other words family, lover, friend, upperclassman, stranger. 

Various ways of dying for various reasons. 

Repeated everyday, a conclusion that keeps getting clearer. 

--- Death, becoming denser. 

This building is a spell. An altar constructed to solidify Araya Soren's will. In order to carry out magecraft of a grand scale you needed not only an incantation and your own prana, but also the sacrifice of other lives and the strength of the land itself. 

By constructing a magical temple in the present day, Araya is attempting to carry out magecraft of an even greater scale. 

No, it wasn't magecraft. A mystery that used a twisted dimension of this level was already no longer on the level of magecraft. 

This was --- that was right, a mystery of a province unreachable with today's knowledge. 

There was no doubt that this was an act of absolute power that human hands could not reach, magic. 

"--- Are you trying to open the road to the origin? 

But, how? Even if you don't set out a magical ward to testify that you aren't a mage, you can't fool the will of the dominant race. The only ones you can fool by using a technological ward are other mages. If you use this building a path will definitely open. Since its the realization of the Taeguekdo, a hole would certainly appear. But the first thing to come out of that hole will be a Counter Guardian. As long as we are who we are, there is no way we can stand up to that." 

"--- The Counter Force is already acting. The fact that you are in this city. The man who came to rob an empty house for no reason, as if he was possessed by something. The woman who was assaulted and killed on this road that has never known such things in the past. I tried this hard to hide my activities, but the Counter Force has already acted three times. 

But that is all. I will not be going any closer to the origin. The many failures I have experienced will not go to waste. There was a time when I didn't know of the power called the Counter Force and tried to open a path, but I couldn't fool its eyes. One time I attempted this with a way to overthrow the Counter Force itself, but it always appeared with strength greater that any I could bring to bear. 

There is only one conclusion. I do not have the ability." 

For the first time --- the voice carries a sound which is close to emotion. 

The black-clad man contains the mage beneath his eyes within his field of vision. 

"The Counter Force interferes with any attempt to reach enlightenment to this extent. Because that is an act which leads to the power which humans cannot be allowed to attain, a return to nothingness. If the individual called a human becomes completed, all meaning of life disappears. In spite of that these rank and file humans unconsciously reject completion because of their desire to just keep on living. All humans from the point where they realise they are human, becoming things lower than animals. They exist in order to be completed, but in order to exist they reject completion. Humanity's beginning starts from that paradox. 

In that case, why are there those who reached the origin? The answer is simple. There is no way of reaching it. There are just humans who have reached it. No matter what branch you study, magecraft is nothing but a descendant that was attached later on. Ability is like that. You have it from the moment that you are born. It is the difference between being chosen and not being chosen. A humans who is connected to the origin from the moment they are born. We are a dominant organism that has digressed too far from the first great element that was our origin by becoming complicated and diversified, but there are rarely people who are born from the origin. Colourless souls who are born connected to 「　　」. That is probably the only existence that can reach the original source. In that case all that remains is to find it. In finding it, I spent ten years of my life." 

"Is that so? So that's how you concluded that you had to destroy Ryougi Shiki." 

She narrows her two eyes. 

Ryougi Shiki. The Ryougi clan was a family who had toiled over the ages to give birth to one with an empty body who could act as a vessel, all in order to create a human with maximum uses. To be empty was 「　　」. Without realising what a dangerous thing they were doing, they had given birth to a body called Shiki who was connected to 「　　」. 

"--- Is that why you used Fujoh Kirie and Asagami Fujino? 

If you moved yourself you would get found out by the Counter Force. So you had to always be at arms length while you destroy Shiki without allowing it to notice your existence. Right? By making Shiki confront murderers who held concepts totally opposite to her own, you made Shiki realise her own nature. If you are trying to make someone realise an idea I guess it is faster to let them experience it than to teach them. 

So, what was it that you wanted, Araya? For Shiki and SHIKI to tear each other apart and leave behind an empty shell? Or did you just want to meet Ryougi Shiki?" 

"Two years ago was to draw 'her' out. But it's different now. I told you the conclusion was already out. Shiki does not require that body. That body which is connected to the origin, I shall be taking it and making it my own." 

Upon hearing that undisguised statement, Touko went Huh, and her mouth hung open. Her mind that had instantly understood what Araya was saying had gone white with shock. 

"It couldn't be, that you plan to move your brain to Shiki's body... ?!" 

Araya does not reply to Touko's disbelieving remark. Seeing his stare that implied he had nothing to say, Touko mumbled something about him really having bad tastes. 

"But still, the fact that you are still in that body must mean that Shiki is still unharmed. I'm just asking, but is there any chance of you returning Shiki?" 

"If you want her do as you will." 

"Oho. Does that mean I have no choice but to fight. Geez, I never was a combat specialist. It looks like I'm going to suffer a bit for the sin of knowing that person." 

"I'll just ask as well but, Aozaki. Will you not join me?" 

His hostile gaze or his determined will never changed, but amidst the tension Araya Soren asked that of her. 

Touko replied. 

Saying, not a chance, with pumpkin-colored eyes that glared at him in the same manner. 

"... Is that so. How disappointing. I always thought you were better than that. We once fought in order to reach the origin. To tell the truth I was interested in you." 

Thump, Araya's feet made noise as he came foward. 

As if he meant to get close to the stairway leading to the first floor. 

"In that academy you at least weren't a part of the collective. I aimed for the original form of the soul, and you aimed for the original form of the body. I was certain that you would be the one to reach our goal first. 

But --- you gave up. Why? The you right now has even thrown away the fact that you are a mage. 

What did you study for, and what did you build up your power for? 

What was it that your pilgrimage was meant to save, what was it meant to achieve?" 

The black mage growls. 

Quietly, with a voice no different from any other time, his two eyes alone are burning with rage. 

Seeing that light in his eyes Touko replied. 

"There was no great reason. I just became tired of creating more paradoxes every time I tried for the fundamental truth. The more we studied, the further away we got. It's the same as the Maelstrom of Origins. You can't approach it without the innocence we call emptiness, but in an empty state you aren't aware of it, so there's no point. --- It's the same as you. I accepted that, and you haven't. Just that, but it's a decisive difference." 

Araya listened to the confession that was tinged with sadness without blinking an eyelash. 

The gazes of the two collide. 

Touko says to Araya. A mage's true nature, the paradox of becoming dumber the more wise you got. 

Araya says to Touko. A mage's true quality, the fact of reaching higher and higher places the more you studied. 

"You, have degenerated." 

Briefly, he speaks with all his feelings. 

"In that case what are you aiming for? Why do you stand there?" 

"... Who knows. The reason I'm here, there really isn't much. I'm not even that interested in Shiki. Her body is full of black boxes so I can't even make anything similar." 

That was right, she has no definite reason. 

It could be that without her realising it she had been pushed into the act by some unidentifiable thing like the Counter Force. 

However, that was alright even if that was the case. She had accepted the life she now led under the name of Aozaki Touko. She knew that this was something that had been built up through miracles and coincidence, and could never be formed again. Even supposing she was to repeat everything from the beginning like this paradoxical mansion, she would not be able to obtain a life like the one she had now. 

So --- all that had happened was that she had decided to protect it if it could be protected. 

"... Really, it's an incredible degeneration. I'm steadily getting weaker. 

Araya. What I regard as the idealistic transcendent being is a hermit. Staying by themselves alone in a mountain, doing nothing even though they possess immense power and knowledge ---. I always admired such a way of existing. But when I realised what had happened I could no longer go back. A day when I can reach that state will never come to someone so full of greed like me. That, is what I believe. 

You see, Araya. A mage always lives hurriedly. What for? If it was for themselves alone they wouldn't bother with the outside world. So why do they intrude upon the rest of the world? Why do they rely upon it? What will they achieve with that power? What will they save with the Ars Magna (Ars Magna: Meaning 'great secret technique', it stands not for a technique that is not learnt through study but for a mystery that is secretly passed down)? If that was the case it would have been better for them to become a king instead of a mage. 

You think people live foully, but you yourself would not be able to live like that. You would not be able to live while accepting the fact that you know that everything is worthless and base. You would not be able to live without the pride of knowing that you alone are special, and that you alone can save this crumbling world. Of course, I was like that too. But that sort of thing has no meaning. 

--- Accept it, Araya. We chose the path of transcendence called magecraft because we are weaker than everybody else." 

The mage does not reply. 

Taking one step after another, he approaches the stairs. 

"... I have already obtained the road to the origin. With but a few steps more my hopes will come to fruition. Those who interfere, no matter who it is I will acknowledge as the Counter Force. Aozaki, you too were nothing more than human in the end." 

The air in the lobby becomes tense. 

A pressure that makes you wonder if space itself is not responding to the mage's killing intent and crumpling into itself. 

Inside there, she gazed at her former comrade from a distance. 

The long questioning in order to fill in the years they were apart ends here. 

Lastly --- As a mage called Aozaki, she asks of Araya a few questions. 

"Araya, what do you wish for?" 

"True wisdom." 

"Araya, where will you look for it?" 

"Only, in myself." 

The man answers without any hesitation. 

The footsteps stopped at the end of the stairs. 

In order to erase each other's existence from the world, both of them initiated their actions. 

***

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 012

2009-04-16T03:28:21Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/12 (Spiral Paradox, 9)''' 

The red sun lights up the spiral tower. 

Within the orange world confronted by the approach of sunset, Aozaki Touko set foot on the grounds of the apartment building. 

The brown-dyed lizardskin longcoat doesn't suit her thin body. It looked more like armor than clothing. 

She looked up at the building once, then lifted up the orange bag in one hand and started to walk. 

Passing the lawn covered in green grass, she enters the mansion. 

Constructed of glass, the lobby has been dyed a deep red by the light of the setting sun. 

The floor, the wall, and even the column that holds the elevator leading upstairs, they are all as red as if they were inside the sun. 

After thinking for a brief moment, she changes her destination. 

And so she walks to the side that doesn't face the elevator, the east side of the lobby. 

...Divided in two, this building has separate lobbies on the east and west sides. 

She goes to one of those, the lobby on the first floor of the east building. 

The lobby is a wide semicircular space. 

The second-floor ceiling is clearly visible, so it feels like some huge reception hall. Here inside the building, there is no orange light from the setting sun. Only the yellow illumination of the overheads shines off the marble floor. 

"How surprising. You are very impatient, aren't you." 

High-pitched for one of his sex, a man's voice echoes through the lobby. 

Touko doesn't say anything in response, and wordlessly lifts her gaze. 

The stairway that connects to the second floor by way of its gentle incline. In the center stands a man in a red coat. 

"But that's a delightful thing, too. Hurry on in, to my [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Gehenna]]. I welcome you, greatest of doll-makers." 

Laughing joyfully, the mage Cornelius Alba greets her with an overdramatic gesture as if he were an actor on a stage. 

*** 

"Gehenna (Hell)?" 

"Of course. This is the recreation of the altar of fire that was in the Valley of Hinnom. It's a tool within which we've gathered the concepts from burning, killing, and torturing people '''(I think my translation of this is a little off)'''. Although unfortunately, Moloch, who is the owner of this God's Palace (?), is away at the moment. How splendid is it? A twisted dimension of this level should be completely separated from the physical laws of the outside world. Preparations for opening the path were finished long ago, Aozaki." 

The red mage looks down at Touko and speaks confidently. 

Contrary to the energetic young man, she keeps her emotions locked away as she replies. 

"How amusing for Agrippa's direct descendant to be wallowing in the religion of the Jews. That's why you still haven't understood the true nature of this place. Hell? That kind of thing exists somewhere on this Earth at this very moment. If you want to see murder on a scale that the human mind cannot comprehend, go to a battlefield. If you wish to see humans dying on a scale you could never believe, just go to any starving nation. Something like this isn't hell. It's merely purgatory, this." 

And she puts her bag down upon the floor. 

Tock. A dry sound. 

"A place where eternally tormented souls who committed small crimes and cannot go to heaven or hell reside. That is the true identity of this place. A closed loop where the torture isn't carried out to fulfill some purpose, but where the whole purpose is to torture. In something like this, there isn't any thaumatergical effect --- or at least, not for a outsider like you." 

The piercing words cause the red mage to twitch, and a spasm to run across his face. 

She narrows her eyes, as if she was facing the building instead of the youth on the stairway. 

"This Taeguekdo structure isn't of your doing is it? That's enough, so bring Araya out. You aren't competent enough, and there isn't anything that would benefit you in the events that will occur now. I'm not sure what your objectives are, but there aren't any values here that are easy enough for you to understand. I'll say that at least, in return for your warning last time." 

Touko looks around as if saying, that's all. Without giving the red mage who is standing right in front of her another glance, she looks for someone who isn't even there. 

The mage keeps looking at her acting like that. 

With eyes full of hatred that looks as if tears could come out at any moment. 

"You... were always like that." 

That mutter was something that flowed out because he couldn't take it any longer. 

"Yes. You were always like that. You always underestimated me like that. I specialized in Rune before you. I was also the one who was famed as a dollmaker, I alone. But those feeble-minded idiots were fooled by that attitude of yours. Your condescending attitude, it gave them the impression that I was inferior to you. It's obvious if you think about it! I'm the director of Suponheim, aren't I? I have spent over forty years as a mage. So why was it that I had to be below a little girl who had just entered her twenties...?!" 

His muttering, growing steadily louder, now filled the lobby. 

Touko-san stares disinterestedly at this person, who has now abandoned all pretense of friendliness and pours abuse upon her. 

"Age isn't important when it comes to academics. It's alright to make yourself look young, Cornelius. But it's because you are so concerned with your outward appearance that the contents don't match up." 

That one cold statement, it was a provocative insult like no other to the other mage. 

The face of the handsome young man whose age has passed fifty contorts with hatred. 

"--- Haven't I explained my objective yet?" 

With a strained calmness, the red mage changes the flow of the conversation. 

"You know, I don't care what happens to an useless thing like Araya's experiment. To tell you the truth I don't have any interest in the Maelstrom of Origins. Chasing after something that may or may not exist, it's nonsense. If you wish to intrude upon the domain of God all you have to do is devote yourself to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|gnosis]]. There's no reason to go upstream." 

He falls back one step. As if to get to the second floor, little by little, he climbs the stairs. 

"It was my own decision to tell you about Ryougi Shiki. Araya lost his life while capturing Ryougi Shiki. That fight was a draw. Following that this ward became mine. But you know, I have no intention of continuing his experiment. It's obvious as to why. You see, Aozaki, the only reason I came to a god forsaken country like this was because I thought I could kill you!" 

Laughing so wildly as to make you worry that he may hurt his throat, the mage leaps up the stairs. 

She can only watch calmly as the mage goes up to the 2nd floor. 

Because... the 1st floor lobby was already full of things that could have been the realization of the mage's ill will. 

At that time, her words contained more scorn and hatred than ever before as she spoke. 

"--- Slimes, is it." 

Aozaki quickly described the plasmous forms that were filling the space around her. 

But the things that were spreading out from the lobby walls weren't so simple as that. The cream coloured mucus dripped down from the wall and quickly took on a shape. 

Some took a human shape, others took the shapes of beasts. 

Their faces looked like [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|keloid]] and kept melting away, but these things that kept rebuilding themselves looked very real. If you were to take an example they were like real animals and humans who rotted away for eternity, existences that were both disgusting and elaborate at the same time. 

"To think that you could only realize these sort of things in a place like this. Alba, it would be better for you to switch to being a film director rather than continue as a mage. If it was you there would be no reason to worry about the budget for preparing special effects. Of course, you would have to specialize in cheap horror movies, but it would still be a much more suitable job for you than a director." 

Surrounded by the objects that had filled the lobby, she muttered. 

Certainly, this scene was reminiscent of a horror movie. If you were to point out a difference, it would only be that crosses and holy bullets had no effect against these things. 

And so, although the slime-like objects had surrounded her on all sides but for a one-meter gap around her, she didn't bat a eyelash as she reached for the pocket inside her suit. 

... Chit, she clicks her tongue. Now that she thought about it she had entrusted Mikiya with her cigarettes, Touko was slightly regretful. If she had known things were going to turn out like this she would have bought some Japanese brands at least, she muttered to herself. 

She hadn't expected such a boring outcome in her wildest dreams. How could she withstand this without smoking one cigarette at least ---. 

"No, you couldn't even be a director. Your presentation is too clumsy. Audiences these days won't be satisfied with just this. I suppose there's no helping it, I'll give you an example. Alba, If you are going to put forward a mystery, you will have to maintain this level at least." 

Tock, she kicked the bag beside her feet with the ends of her toes. 

"--- Come out." 

An order full of authority, disallowing refusal. 

In response to that the bag opens. Clunk, and the bag opens up like a tulip but there is nothing inside. 

At the same time --- some black thing starts spinning around the mage called Aozaki Touko. 

The black thing was a hurricane with a body. 

With Touko as the eye of the storm, it spins round and round and round at a high speed. 

That was a force which could drive one crazy. 

Within a few seconds there is nothing in the lobby. Not a body or a shadow remained of the things that had flowed out of the walls. The only things there were Aozaki Touko and her closed bag. And the cat sitting in front of her. 

"--- What." 

Stunned, Alba could only look upon all this. 

The cat is bigger than Touko. Its body is night black, but does not possess any thickness. A flat black cat made from shadow. No, he can't even tell if it is a cat. A shadow that resembled a cat, upon its head region is a eye that looked like an Egyptian hieroglyph. 

"What, is that --- ?" 

From the 2nd floor, he looked down at the cat. 

His gaze meets the cat's drawing-like eyes. When they did --- erasing the space where its mouth should have gone, the cat gives him a broad smile. 

Was he having a nightmare, Alba swallows his breath. 

Touko doesn't say anything. 

The only noise is a scratchy chkchkchk noise coming from somewhere. 

"That's not right, was the story that you lost your familiar to your sister only a lie ... !" 

As if he couldn't stand the silence, Alba shouts. 

She only replied with a 'I wonder' before shifting her glance to the black cat. 

"--- I fed you some nasty things. But this next one should taste a bit better. Real human flesh instead of these chunks of [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|ether]]. It should also have plenty of spiritual nutritional value. There's no need to go easy because he's my old schoolmate. I always told you didn't I? That enemies are for eating." 

Instantly, the black cat starts running. 

Crossing the marble floor as if it were sliding along, it runs up the stairs. ... Even so the cat's feet do not move. Only its eye moves as its sitting shadow races towards the red coated human. 

To get from the first-floor lobby where Touko was to the second-floor stairwell where Alba was, it probably hadn't taken 10 seconds. 

But, Alba wasn't some normal person to allow such a thing. 

He was a mage. 

"'''''Go away the shadow.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to touch the thing which are not visible.''''' 
'''''Forget the darkness.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to see the thing which are not touched.''''' 
'''''The question is prohibited.''''' 
'''''The answer is simple.''''' 
'''''I have the flame in the left hand.''''' 
'''''And I have everything in the right hand ---.'''''" 

Carefully, but with a speed which approached the human limits, Alba cants his spell. 

--- Spells, within the realm of mages they were nothing more than suggestions aimed at oneself. 

There is a magecraft for causing wind to blow. Just like a certain type of weapon, this was a power which had an ability that was determined from the start. No matter what mage used it its effect would not change. Only, the incantation was different. 

The incantations called spells were for the purpose of activating the magecraft that one's body had become familiar with. It's contents showed the nature of the mage. That was because as long as you kept the necessary meanings and keywords for the activation of that particular piece of magecraft, the details of the incantation could be changed to suit the user's fancy. 

The incantations of a narcissistic and pompous mage who easily got infatuated with themselves was long. But it was also true that the more meaning you put into the spell, the more powerful was the final effect. This was because the stronger the suggestion you put upon yourself, the stronger the ability you pulled out from yourself would be. 

Taken in that light Alba's incantation could be said to be outstanding. Not too long, holding the minimum required contents, and putting a phrase to fix his mind on top of that, the speaking of the incantation itself doesn't even take 2 seconds. 

At that fact Touko let out an exclamation of surprise, and admired the performance. 

The younger Alba had liked to use incantations that had been wasteful and longer then necessary, but it seemed that in the last few years he had definitely developed. 

His method and speed of forming the incantation, and his way of connecting his circuits in order to manipulate the physical world is remarkably precise. 

This incantation, in the realm of magecrafts that were designed to purely destroy things, was definitely first class. 

"'''''I am the order. Therefore,''''' 
''''''you will be defeated securely --- !'''''" 

Alba puts forward one arm. 

The instant that the black cat stepped onto the first of the steps, the air wavered faintly --- then the stairway erupted into flame. 

Like a wavering mirage rising up into the sky, a sea of blue flames fills the stairway. 

In a matter of seconds, the top of the flames that emerged from the stairs themselves have burnt through the second floor and disappear into the ceiling. 

It looked like a geyser in some geothermal hotspot. 

Sucking dry all the oxygen in the lobby in an instant, the sea of flame instantly erased the black cat from the world. That was only to be expected too. These thaumatergical flames that were well over a 1000 degrees Celsius, any animal that entered them would soon be melted like butter and turn from a solid to a gas. Passing through the liquid stage wouldn't have taken the time required for a comma. 

But, Alba saw it. 

The impossible shape of the black cat, suddenly appearing once all the flames had burnt themselves out. 

"--- That can't be right." 

Blue eyes stare at the stairs. 

The black cat licked it thin black body as if it that last spell had been unsatisfactory, then shifted its gaze to the red mage. 

The black monster resumes its charge. 

Alba didn't even have the time to try and puzzle out the cat's nature. 

"'''''Repeat ... !'''''" 

With a tearing sharpness Alba repeated his spell. 

The stairs erupted into flames. But this time the cat didn't even stop. It raced straight towards the mage as if saying it had already gotten used to this kind of fire. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

Once again the sea of flame roars up, and disappears. 

The cat was already nearing the top of the stairs. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

The fourth conflagration ended meaninglessly as well. 

Once the black cat reached the second floor, it went up to Alba and opened up its mouth. The body of the cat which was as big as a man, it opened up from its head to toe. As if opening up a treasure chest with the crown of its head as a lid. 

Inside of the flat, planar cat the corpses of the protoplasmic creatures it had swallowed earlier are pasted like mud. 

Alba realized only then. That this thing was only taking the shape of a cat, and that it was an organism that only had a mouth. 

"'''''Repeat --- !'''''" 

With death in front of his eyes terror makes him repeat his final spell. 

But before that, the shark's mouth in the body of a cat closes down upon the mage. When it swallowed him whole with his red coat, Alba lost consciousness. 

*** 

"'''''[Insert here].''''''" 

Suddenly a brief word was spoken. 

The cat that was in the process of biting Alba's body stops moving. 

Even Touko who had been just standing there watching like a spectator responds to that sound. 

There is a man behind Alba. 

With fierce eyes full of an endless suffering, the man is wearing a black coat. 

There was no sign of his appearance, as if he had been there this whole time. 

The black man grabbed Alba, then pulls him out of the cat and throws him onto the floor. Caught in one of the threefold circles the man carries about his being the cat cannot move. 

The man looks at the woman below him. With just that the air in the lobby changed dramatically. 

Was this what they meant when they said "the air froze over"? 

The tranquil atmosphere disappears. As if the house itself was getting tense after welcoming its true owner. 

"--- Long time no see, Aozaki." 

"Yeah, although we probably didn't want to see each other." 

The 1st floor and the 2nd floor --- divided between heaven and earth, Touko confronted the one called Araya Soren who was the source of this disturbance. 

"It looks like Alba leapt about too much. I originally intended to finish this without your noticing. Well, it can't be helped. I could not prepare sixty four bodies by myself. The fact that you are here in this city is probably coincidence as well as misfortune." 

"I don't know which side dragged the other in. But, coincidence is the jargon for mystery. In order to disguise a law we can't figure out we bring out the word coincidence." 

Giving that reply Touko retreated towards the wall. 

This opponent is on a completely different level to Alba. Ability wise they may have been similar, but in this building Araya Soren was greater than anyone else. If she does not put her back to the wall and concentrate on the enemy before her she was bound to leave herself wide open. 

"--- So. What kind of mechanism is this mansion? It couldn't be that it is a box where the paradox of those who are dead being alive are made real, could it? It was concluded hundreds of years ago that fabricating a world where a day is complete and gathering the souls at the moment they die isn't effective. No matter how many hundreds of deaths you gather you can't achieve your objective. 

"Of course. But there is a fact that you don't know. 

It's true that I was only pursuing the number of deaths. I was certain that if I experienced tens of thousands of different deaths among different people, I would be able to find a spiritual diffusion that led to the origin. However with just that alone I cannot reach the origin. The only thing that you can come close to with that, is humanity's 'origin'. You cannot reach the origin of that totality known as the dominant organism. 

The important thing is not the amount of deaths. It's the quality of death. If you approach the origin the ways of dying become surprisingly well defined. By dissecting the road to death, I determined that there are 64 different methods of dying. The ones who are gathered here are people who die in everyone of those 64 ways. In other words they are a miniture copy of the world. I experience their suffering, and engrave it into my heart. In order that I may soon simplify that from [insert here] ([insert here]: Eight divination tools drawn in the Chinese Book of Divination [insert here 8 types]. It is said that the first emperor of China created them after observing the heavens) to [insert here] ([insert here]: The four symbols of Yin-Yang. Formed by the merging of Yin and Yang there are four the manifestations called [insert here 4]), so that I may reach Yangyi." 

"Hmph. Do you like things that are one that much, Araya? Light and Darkness weren't divided because they had to oppose each other, but because that had the potential for containing the greatest number of things. Everything is lonely if by itself. That is why they try to multiply. You were never able to forgive that. Investigating the various deaths of humans, and making that your own by researching those lives. You would probably take even my death and make it into a piece of knowledge about the life and death of a human called Aozaki Touko to be stored away in the corner of your brain. You mean to figure out the value of a human that way, but doing that is the role of Yanma (Yanma: The king of hell in Buddhism). As a human yourself, all you can do is to continue existing in a hell that keeps sucking in deaths." 

"--- I'm perfectly content with that. Whether its heaven or hell, the fact that it is close to the floor doesn't change." 

Araya's words contain not a hint of hesitation or regret. 

His ridiculously powerful will that concludes that he is alone in this world. 

Touko thinks. 

Within this building that repeats the spiral of daily life, the original form of all the deaths that humans experience is swirling around. The records that the physical body called Araya Soren contained until now, this building has succeeded him as their container. This place was him, his will itself. 

... So, that meant that she was inside his body. 

Touko observed the atmosphere filling the lobby as she muttered to herself. The strained air wasn't for Araya's benefit. Rather, it was the soundless hatred of all the residents who had been murdered by this building. 

This amount of hatred that threatens to crush even her, day by day, Araya keeps expanding it. To borrow his words it wasn't the amount he was increasing but the quality. Since in the end, all those hundreds of deaths were but one identical way of dying. 

Murder born from love, in other words family, lover, mother, father, child. 

Murder born of hatred, in other words family, lover, friend, upperclassman, stranger. 

Various ways of dying for various reasons. 

Repeated everyday, a conclusion that keeps getting clearer. 

--- Death, becoming denser. 

This building is a spell. An altar constructed to solidify Araya Soren's will. In order to carry out magecraft of a grand scale you needed not only an incantation and your own prana, but also the sacrifice of other lives and the strength of the land itself. 

By constructing a magical temple in the present day, Araya is attempting to carry out magecraft of an even greater scale. 

No, it wasn't magecraft. A mystery that used a twisted dimension of this level was already no longer on the level of magecraft. 

This was --- that was right, a mystery of a province unreachable with today's knowledge. 

There was no doubt that this was an act of absolute power that human hands could not reach, magic. 

"--- Are you trying to open the road to the origin? 

But, how? Even if you don't set out a magical ward to testify that you aren't a mage, you can't fool the will of the dominant race. The only ones you can fool by using a technological ward are other mages. If you use this building a path will definitely open. Since its the realization of the Taeguekdo, a hole would certainly appear. But the first thing to come out of that hole will be a Counter Guardian. As long as we are who we are, there is no way we can stand up to that." 

"--- The Counter Force is already acting. The fact that you are in this city. The man who came to rob an empty house for no reason, as if he was possessed by something. The woman who was assaulted and killed on this road that has never known such things in the past. I tried this hard to hide my activities, but the Counter Force has already acted three times. 

But that is all. I will not be going any closer to the origin. The many failures I have experienced will not go to waste. There was a time when I didn't know of the power called the Counter Force and tried to open a path, but I couldn't fool its eyes. One time I attempted this with a way to overthrow the Counter Force itself, but it always appeared with strength greater that any I could bring to bear. 

There is only one conclusion. I do not have the ability." 

For the first time --- the voice carries a sound which is close to emotion. 

The black-clad man contains the mage beneath his eyes within his field of vision. 

"The Counter Force interferes with any attempt to reach enlightenment to this extent. Because that is an act which leads to the power which humans cannot be allowed to attain, a return to nothingness. If the individual called a human becomes completed, all meaning of life disappears. In spite of that these rank and file humans unconsciously reject completion because of their desire to just keep on living. All humans from the point where they realise they are human, becoming things lower than animals. They exist in order to be completed, but in order to exist they reject completion. Humanity's beginning starts from that paradox. 

In that case, why are there those who reached the origin? The answer is simple. There is no way of reaching it. There are just humans who have reached it. No matter what branch you study, magecraft is nothing but a descendant that was attached later on. Ability is like that. You have it from the moment that you are born. It is the difference between being chosen and not being chosen. A humans who is connected to the origin from the moment they are born. We are a dominant organism that has digressed too far from the first great element that was our origin by becoming complicated and diversified, but there are rarely people who are born from the origin. Colourless souls who are born connected to 「　　」. That is probably the only existence that can reach the original source. In that case all that remains is to find it. In finding it, I spent ten years of my life." 

"Is that so? So that's how you concluded that you had to destroy Ryougi Shiki." 

She narrows her two eyes. 

Ryougi Shiki. The Ryougi clan was a family who had toiled over the ages to give birth to one with an empty body who could act as a vessel, all in order to create a human with maximum uses. To be empty was 「　　」. Without realising what a dangerous thing they were doing, they had given birth to a body called Shiki who was connected to 「　　」. 

"--- Is that why you used Fujoh Kirie and Asagami Fujino? 

If you moved yourself you would get found out by the Counter Force. So you had to always be at arms length while you destroy Shiki without allowing it to notice your existence. Right? By making Shiki confront murderers who held concepts totally opposite to her own, you made Shiki realise her own nature. If you are trying to make someone realise an idea I guess it is faster to let them experience it than to teach them. 

So, what was it that you wanted, Araya? For Shiki and SHIKI to tear each other apart and leave behind an empty shell? Or did you just want to meet Ryougi Shiki?" 

"Two years ago was to draw 'her' out. But it's different now. I told you the conclusion was already out. Shiki does not require that body. That body which is connected to the origin, I shall be taking it and making it my own." 

Upon hearing that undisguised statement, Touko went Huh, and her mouth hung open. Her mind that had instantly understood what Araya was saying had gone white with shock. 

"It couldn't be, that you plan to move your brain to Shiki's body... ?!" 

Araya does not reply to Touko's disbelieving remark. Seeing his stare that implied he had nothing to say, Touko mumbled something about him really having bad tastes. 

"But still, the fact that you are still in that body must mean that Shiki is still unharmed. I'm just asking, but is there any chance of you returning Shiki?" 

"If you want her do as you will." 

"Oho. Does that mean I have no choice but to fight. Geez, I never was a combat specialist. It looks like I'm going to suffer a bit for the sin of knowing that person." 

"I'll just ask as well but, Aozaki. Will you not join me?" 

His hostile gaze or his determined will never changed, but amidst the tension Araya Soren asked that of her. 

Touko replied. 

Saying, not a chance, with pumpkin coloured eyes that glared at him in the same manner. 

"... Is that so. How disappointing. I always thought you were better than that. We once fought in order to reach the origin. To tell the truth I was interested in you." 

Thump, Araya's feet made noise as he came foward. 

As if he meant to get close to the stairway leading to the first floor. 

"In that academy you at least weren't a part of the collective. I aimed for the original form of the soul, and you aimed for the original form of the body. I was certain that you would be the one to reach our goal first. 

But --- you gave up. Why? The you right now has even thrown away the fact that you are a mage. 

What did you study for, and what did you build up your power for? 

What was it that your pilgrimage was meant to save, what was it meant to achieve?" 

The black mage growls. 

Quietly, with a voice no different from any other time, his two eyes alone are burning with rage. 

Seeing that light in his eyes Touko replied. 

"There was no great reason. I just became tired of creating more paradoxes every time I tried for the fundamental truth. The more we studied, the further away we got. It's the same as the Maelstrom of Origins. You can't approach it without the innocence we call emptiness, but in an empty state you aren't aware of it, so there's no point. --- It's the same as you. I accepted that, and you haven't. Just that, but it's a decisive difference." 

Araya listened to the confession that was tinged with sadness without blinking an eyelash. 

The gazes of the two collide. 

Touko says to Araya. A mage's true nature, the paradox of becoming dumber the more wise you got. 

Araya says to Touko. A mage's true quality, the fact of reaching higher and higher places the more you studied. 

"You, have degenerated." 

Briefly, he speaks with all his feelings. 

"In that case what are you aiming for? Why do you stand there?" 

"... Who knows. The reason I'm here, there really isn't much. I'm not even that interested in Shiki. Her body is full of black boxes so I can't even make anything similar." 

That was right, she has no definite reason. 

It could be that without her realising it she had been pushed into the act by some unidentifiable thing like the Counter Force. 

However, that was alright even if that was the case. She had accepted the life she now led under the name of Aozaki Touko. She knew that this was something that had been built up through miracles and coincidence, and could never be formed again. Even supposing she was to repeat everything from the beginning like this paradoxical mansion, she would not be able to obtain a life like the one she had now. 

So --- all that had happened was that she had decided to protect it if it could be protected. 

"... Really, it's an incredible degeneration. I'm steadily getting weaker. 

Araya. What I regard as the idealistic transcendent being is a hermit. Staying by themselves alone in a mountain, doing nothing even though they possess immense power and knowledge ---. I always admired such a way of existing. But when I realised what had happened I could no longer go back. A day when I can reach that state will never come to someone so full of greed like me. That, is what I believe. 

You see, Araya. A mage always lives hurriedly. What for? If it was for themselves alone they wouldn't bother with the outside world. So why do they intrude upon the rest of the world? Why do they rely upon it? What will they achieve with that power? What will they save with the Ars Magna (Ars Magna: Meaning 'great secret technique', it stands not for a technique that is not learnt through study but for a mystery that is secretly passed down)? If that was the case it would have been better for them to become a king instead of a mage. 

You think people live foully, but you yourself would not be able to live like that. You would not be able to live while accepting the fact that you know that everything is worthless and base. You would not be able to live without the pride of knowing that you alone are special, and that you alone can save this crumbling world. Of course, I was like that too. But that sort of thing has no meaning. 

--- Accept it, Araya. We chose the path of transcendence called magecraft because we are weaker than everybody else." 

The mage does not reply. 

Taking one step after another, he approaches the stairs. 

"... I have already obtained the road to the origin. With but a few steps more my hopes will come to fruition. Those who interfere, no matter who it is I will acknowledge as the Counter Force. Aozaki, you too were nothing more than human in the end." 

The air in the lobby becomes tense. 

A pressure that makes you wonder if space itself is not responding to the mage's killing intent and crumpling into itself. 

Inside there, she gazed at her former comrade from a distance. 

The long questioning in order to fill in the years they were apart ends here. 

Lastly --- As a mage called Aozaki, she asks of Araya a few questions. 

"Araya, what do you wish for?" 

"True wisdom." 

"Araya, where will you look for it?" 

"Only, in myself." 

The man answers without any hesitation. 

The footsteps stopped at the end of the stairs. 

In order to erase each other's existence from the world, both of them initiated their actions. 

***

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 Glossary and Notes

2009-04-16T01:14:03Z

61.11.175.146:

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 Glossary and Notes

2009-04-16T01:13:14Z

61.11.175.146:

=== /6 Spiral Paradox === 

'''Ogawa Mansion''' - The Japanese usage of the word 'mansion' refers not to a large house, like the Ryougi family estage (or the Tohno Mansion in Tsukihime), but to a large or luxury apartment. It can be used to refer to a single apartment or to an entire apartment building. 

=== /7 Spiral Paradox === 

'''Shinai''' - A bamboo practice sword. 

'''Kuji''' - The nine signs of power, a charm to aid a warrior in battle - They are: rin-pyo-to-sha-kai-jin-retsu-zai-zen. 

'''3LDK''' - An apartment with 3 rooms, lounge, and kitchen. 

=== /12 Spiral Paradox, 9 === 

'''Gehenna''' - A valley to the southwest of Jerusalem in Israel. Sometimes called the "Valley of Hinnom". This names originates from the Hebrew name of "the valley of Hinnom's son". The name is sometimes used to represent hell because Canaanites and Jerusalem inhabitants gathered there to burn their children as sacrifices for the god Moloch.

'''keloid''' - a growth on the body formed by a tissue swelling up and becoming hard. Normally they swell up flat and many are red and have a shiny surface. Keloid scars are often left behind on skin that has suffered a severe burn.

'''gnosis''' - Complete knowledge of this universe. The word comes from the Greek and can be translated as understanding, awareness, or wisdom. However, because of the complicated religious and other entwined meanings implied by the word, it is normally referred to as gnosis.

'''ether''' - The substance called the fifth element within the Association. Melting into the four great elements, it becomes the medium that is essential to form a shape. Within that whole it has no shape, but without this substance, no magecraft can be achieved.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 012

2009-04-16T01:13:10Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/12 (Spiral Paradox, 9)''' 

The red sun lights up the spiral tower. 

Within the orange world confronted by the approach of sunset, Aozaki Touko set foot on the grounds of the mansion. 

The brown-dyed lizardskin longcoat doesn't suit her thin body. It looked more like armor than clothing. 

She looked up at the mansion once, then lifted up the orange bag in one hand and started to walk. 

Passing the lawn covered in green grass she enters the mansion. 

Constructed of glass, the lobby has been dyed a deep red by the light of the setting sun. 

The floor, the wall, and even the column that holds the elevator leading upstairs, they are all as red as if they were inside the sun. 

After thinking for a brief moment she changed her destination. 

And so she walked to the side that didn't face the elevator, the East side of the lobby. 

... Divided in two, this mansion has separate lobbies on the East and West sides. 

She goes to one of those, the lobby on the first floor of the East building. 

The lobby is a wide semi-circular space. 

The second floor ceiling is clearly visible so it feels like some huge reception hall. Here inside the building there is no orange light from the setting sun. Only the yellow illumination of the lights shines off the marble floor. 

"How surprising. You are very impatient, aren't you." 

Highly pitched considering his sex, a man's voice echoes through the lobby. 

Touko doesn't say anything in response, and wordlessly lifts her gaze. 

The stairway that connects to the second floor by way of its gentle incline. In the center stands a man in a red coat. 

"But that's a delightful thing too. Hurry on in, to my [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Gehenna]]. I welcome you, greatest of doll-makers." 

Laughing joyfully, the mage Cornelius Alba greets her with an overdramatic gesture, as if he were an actor on a stage. 

*** 

"Gehenna (Hell)?" 

"Of course. This is the recreation of the altar of fire that was on the Valley of Hinnom. It's a tool within which we've gathered the concepts from burning, killing, and torturing people '''(I think my translation of this is a little off)'''. Although unfortunately Moloch who is the owner of this God's Palace (?) is away at the moment. How splendid is it? A twisted dimension of this level should be completely separated from the physical laws of the outside world. Preparations for opening the path were finished long ago, Aozaki." 

The red mage looks down at Touko and speaks confidently. 

Contrary to the energetic young man, she keeps her emotions locked away as she replies. 

"For Agrippa's direct descendant to be wallowing in the religion of the Jews, how amusing. That's why you still haven't understood the true nature of this place. Hell? That kind of thing exists somewhere on this Earth at this very moment. If you want to see murder on a scale that the human mind cannot comprehend go to a battlefield. If you wish to see human's dying on a scale you could never believe just go to any starving nations. Something like this isn't Hell. It's merely Purgatory, this." 

And, she puts her bag down upon the floor. 

Tock, a dry sound. 

"A place where eternally tormented souls who committed small crimes and cannot go to heaven or hell reside. That is the true identity of this place. A closed loop where the torture isn't carried out to fulfill some purpose, but where the whole purpose is to torture. In something like this, there isn't any thaumatergical effect --- or at least not for a outsider like you." 

The piercing words cause the red mage to twitch and for a spasm to run across his face. 

She narrows her eyes, as if she was facing the building instead of the youth on the stairway. 

"This Taegukdo structure isn't of your doing is it? That's enough so bring Araya out. You aren't competent enough, and there isn't anything that would benefit you in the events that will occur now. I'm not sure what your objectives are, but there aren't any values here that are easy enough for you to understand. I'll say that at least in return for your warning last time." 

Touko looks around as if saying, that's all. Without giving the red mage who is standing right in front of her another glance, she looks for someone who isn't even there. 

The mage keeps looking at her acting like that. 

With eyes full of hatred that looks as if tears could come out at any moment. 

"You, were always like that." 

That mutter was something that flowed out because he couldn't take it any longer. 

"Yes. You were always like this. You always underestimated me like that. I specialized in Rune before you. I was also the one who was famed as a dollmaker, I alone. But, those feeble minded idiots were fooled by that attitude of yours. Your condescending attitude, it gave them the impression that I was inferior to you. It's obvious if you think about it! I'm the director of Suponheim, aren't I? I have spent over 40 years as a mage. So why was it that I had to be below a little girl who had just entered her twenties... !" 

His muttering, growing steadily louder now filled the lobby. 

Touko-san stares disinterestedly at this person, who has now abandoned all pretense at friendliness and pours abuse upon her. 

"Age isn't important when it comes to academics. It's alright to make yourself look young, Cornelius. But it's because you are so concerned with your outward appearance that the contents don't match up." 

That one cold statement, it was a provocative insult like no other to the other mage. 

The face of the handsome young man whose age has passed fifty contorts with hatred. 

"--- Haven't I explained my objective yet?" 

With a strained calmness, the red mage changes the flow of the conversation. 

"You know, I don't care what happens to an useless thing like Araya's experiment. To tell you the truth I don't have any interest in the Maelstrom of Origins. Chasing after something that may or may not exist, it's nonsense. If you wish to intrude upon the domain of God all you have to do is devote yourself to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|gnosis]]. There's no reason to go upstream." 

He falls back one step. As if to get to the second floor, little by little, he climbs the stairs. 

"It was my own decision to tell you about Ryougi Shiki. Araya lost his life while capturing Ryougi Shiki. That fight was a draw. Following that this ward became mine. But you know, I have no intention of continuing his experiment. It's obvious as to why. You see, Aozaki, the only reason I came to a god forsaken country like this was because I thought I could kill you!" 

Laughing so wildly as to make you worry that he may hurt his throat, the mage leaps up the stairs. 

She can only watch calmly as the mage goes up to the 2nd floor. 

Because... the 1st floor lobby was already full of things that could have been the realization of the mage's ill will. 

At that time, her words contained more scorn and hatred than ever before as she spoke. 

"--- Slimes, is it." 

Aozaki quickly described the plasmous forms that were filling the space around her. 

But the things that were spreading out from the lobby walls weren't so simple as that. The cream coloured mucus dripped down from the wall and quickly took on a shape. 

Some took a human shape, others took the shapes of beasts. 

Their faces looked like [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|keloid]] and kept melting away, but these things that kept rebuilding themselves looked very real. If you were to take an example they were like real animals and humans who rotted away for eternity, existences that were both disgusting and elaborate at the same time. 

"To think that you could only realize these sort of things in a place like this. Alba, it would be better for you to switch to being a film director rather than continue as a mage. If it was you there would be no reason to worry about the budget for preparing special effects. Of course, you would have to specialize in cheap horror movies, but it would still be a much more suitable job for you than a director." 

Surrounded by the objects that had filled the lobby, she muttered. 

Certainly, this scene was reminiscent of a horror movie. If you were to point out a difference, it would only be that crosses and holy bullets had no effect against these things. 

And so, although the slime-like objects had surrounded her on all sides but for a one-meter gap around her, she didn't bat a eyelash as she reached for the pocket inside her suit. 

... Chit, she clicks her tongue. Now that she thought about it she had entrusted Mikiya with her cigarettes, Touko was slightly regretful. If she had known things were going to turn out like this she would have bought some Japanese brands at least, she muttered to herself. 

She hadn't expected such a boring outcome in her wildest dreams. How could she withstand this without smoking one cigarette at least ---. 

"No, you couldn't even be a director. Your presentation is too clumsy. Audiences these days won't be satisfied with just this. I suppose there's no helping it, I'll give you an example. Alba, If you are going to put forward a mystery, you will have to maintain this level at least." 

Tock, she kicked the bag beside her feet with the ends of her toes. 

"--- Come out." 

An order full of authority, disallowing refusal. 

In response to that the bag opens. Clunk, and the bag opens up like a tulip but there is nothing inside. 

At the same time --- some black thing starts spinning around the mage called Aozaki Touko. 

The black thing was a hurricane with a body. 

With Touko as the eye of the storm, it spins round and round and round at a high speed. 

That was a force which could drive one crazy. 

Within a few seconds there is nothing in the lobby. Not a body or a shadow remained of the things that had flowed out of the walls. The only things there were Aozaki Touko and her closed bag. And the cat sitting in front of her. 

"--- What." 

Stunned, Alba could only look upon all this. 

The cat is bigger than Touko. Its body is night black, but does not possess any thickness. A flat black cat made from shadow. No, he can't even tell if it is a cat. A shadow that resembled a cat, upon its head region is a eye that looked like an Egyptian hieroglyph. 

"What, is that --- ?" 

From the 2nd floor, he looked down at the cat. 

His gaze meets the cat's drawing-like eyes. When they did --- erasing the space where its mouth should have gone, the cat gives him a broad smile. 

Was he having a nightmare, Alba swallows his breath. 

Touko doesn't say anything. 

The only noise is a scratchy chkchkchk noise coming from somewhere. 

"That's not right, was the story that you lost your familiar to your sister only a lie ... !" 

As if he couldn't stand the silence, Alba shouts. 

She only replied with a 'I wonder' before shifting her glance to the black cat. 

"--- I fed you some nasty things. But this next one should taste a bit better. Real human flesh instead of these chunks of [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|ether]]. It should also have plenty of spiritual nutritional value. There's no need to go easy because he's my old schoolmate. I always told you didn't I? That enemies are for eating." 

Instantly, the black cat starts running. 

Crossing the marble floor as if it were sliding along, it runs up the stairs. ... Even so the cat's feet do not move. Only its eye moves as its sitting shadow races towards the red coated human. 

To get from the first-floor lobby where Touko was to the second-floor stairwell where Alba was, it probably hadn't taken 10 seconds. 

But, Alba wasn't some normal person to allow such a thing. 

He was a mage. 

"'''''Go away the shadow.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to touch the thing which are not visible.''''' 
'''''Forget the darkness.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to see the thing which are not touched.''''' 
'''''The question is prohibited.''''' 
'''''The answer is simple.''''' 
'''''I have the flame in the left hand.''''' 
'''''And I have everything in the right hand ---.'''''" 

Carefully, but with a speed which approached the human limits, Alba cants his spell. 

--- Spells, within the realm of mages they were nothing more than suggestions aimed at oneself. 

There is a magecraft for causing wind to blow. Just like a certain type of weapon, this was a power which had an ability that was determined from the start. No matter what mage used it its effect would not change. Only, the incantation was different. 

The incantations called spells were for the purpose of activating the magecraft that one's body had become familiar with. It's contents showed the nature of the mage. That was because as long as you kept the necessary meanings and keywords for the activation of that particular piece of magecraft, the details of the incantation could be changed to suit the user's fancy. 

The incantations of a narcissistic and pompous mage who easily got infatuated with themselves was long. But it was also true that the more meaning you put into the spell, the more powerful was the final effect. This was because the stronger the suggestion you put upon yourself, the stronger the ability you pulled out from yourself would be. 

Taken in that light Alba's incantation could be said to be outstanding. Not too long, holding the minimum required contents, and putting a phrase to fix his mind on top of that, the speaking of the incantation itself doesn't even take 2 seconds. 

At that fact Touko let out an exclamation of surprise, and admired the performance. 

The younger Alba had liked to use incantations that had been wasteful and longer then necessary, but it seemed that in the last few years he had definitely developed. 

His method and speed of forming the incantation, and his way of connecting his circuits in order to manipulate the physical world is remarkably precise. 

This incantation, in the realm of magecrafts that were designed to purely destroy things, was definitely first class. 

"'''''I am the order. Therefore,''''' 
''''''you will be defeated securely --- !'''''" 

Alba puts forward one arm. 

The instant that the black cat stepped onto the first of the steps, the air wavered faintly --- then the stairway erupted into flame. 

Like a wavering mirage rising up into the sky, a sea of blue flames fills the stairway. 

In a matter of seconds, the top of the flames that emerged from the stairs themselves have burnt through the second floor and disappear into the ceiling. 

It looked like a geyser in some geothermal hotspot. 

Sucking dry all the oxygen in the lobby in an instant, the sea of flame instantly erased the black cat from the world. That was only to be expected too. These thaumatergical flames that were well over a 1000 degrees Celsius, any animal that entered them would soon be melted like butter and turn from a solid to a gas. Passing through the liquid stage wouldn't have taken the time required for a comma. 

But, Alba saw it. 

The impossible shape of the black cat, suddenly appearing once all the flames had burnt themselves out. 

"--- That can't be right." 

Blue eyes stare at the stairs. 

The black cat licked it thin black body as if it that last spell had been unsatisfactory, then shifted its gaze to the red mage. 

The black monster resumes its charge. 

Alba didn't even have the time to try and puzzle out the cat's nature. 

"'''''Repeat ... !'''''" 

With a tearing sharpness Alba repeated his spell. 

The stairs erupted into flames. But this time the cat didn't even stop. It raced straight towards the mage as if saying it had already gotten used to this kind of fire. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

Once again the sea of flame roars up, and disappears. 

The cat was already nearing the top of the stairs. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

The fourth conflagration ended meaninglessly as well. 

Once the black cat reached the second floor, it went up to Alba and opened up its mouth. The body of the cat which was as big as a man, it opened up from its head to toe. As if opening up a treasure chest with the crown of its head as a lid. 

Inside of the flat, planar cat the corpses of the protoplasmic creatures it had swallowed earlier are pasted like mud. 

Alba realized only then. That this thing was only taking the shape of a cat, and that it was an organism that only had a mouth. 

"'''''Repeat --- !'''''" 

With death in front of his eyes terror makes him repeat his final spell. 

But before that, the shark's mouth in the body of a cat closes down upon the mage. When it swallowed him whole with his red coat, Alba lost consciousness. 

*** 

"'''''[Insert here].''''''" 

Suddenly a brief word was spoken. 

The cat that was in the process of biting Alba's body stops moving. 

Even Touko who had been just standing there watching like a spectator responds to that sound. 

There is a man behind Alba. 

With fierce eyes full of an endless suffering, the man is wearing a black coat. 

There was no sign of his appearance, as if he had been there this whole time. 

The black man grabbed Alba, then pulls him out of the cat and throws him onto the floor. Caught in one of the threefold circles the man carries about his being the cat cannot move. 

The man looks at the woman below him. With just that the air in the lobby changed dramatically. 

Was this what they meant when they said "the air froze over"? 

The tranquil atmosphere disappears. As if the house itself was getting tense after welcoming its true owner. 

"--- Long time no see, Aozaki." 

"Yeah, although we probably didn't want to see each other." 

The 1st floor and the 2nd floor --- divided between heaven and earth, Touko confronted the one called Araya Soren who was the source of this disturbance. 

"It looks like Alba leapt about too much. I originally intended to finish this without your noticing. Well, it can't be helped. I could not prepare sixty four bodies by myself. The fact that you are here in this city is probably coincidence as well as misfortune." 

"I don't know which side dragged the other in. But, coincidence is the jargon for mystery. In order to disguise a law we can't figure out we bring out the word coincidence." 

Giving that reply Touko retreated towards the wall. 

This opponent is on a completely different level to Alba. Ability wise they may have been similar, but in this building Araya Soren was greater than anyone else. If she does not put her back to the wall and concentrate on the enemy before her she was bound to leave herself wide open. 

"--- So. What kind of mechanism is this mansion? It couldn't be that it is a box where the paradox of those who are dead being alive are made real, could it? It was concluded hundreds of years ago that fabricating a world where a day is complete and gathering the souls at the moment they die isn't effective. No matter how many hundreds of deaths you gather you can't achieve your objective. 

"Of course. But there is a fact that you don't know. 

It's true that I was only pursuing the number of deaths. I was certain that if I experienced tens of thousands of different deaths among different people, I would be able to find a spiritual diffusion that led to the origin. However with just that alone I cannot reach the origin. The only thing that you can come close to with that, is humanity's 'origin'. You cannot reach the origin of that totality known as the dominant organism. 

The important thing is not the amount of deaths. It's the quality of death. If you approach the origin the ways of dying become surprisingly well defined. By dissecting the road to death, I determined that there are 64 different methods of dying. The ones who are gathered here are people who die in everyone of those 64 ways. In other words they are a miniture copy of the world. I experience their suffering, and engrave it into my heart. In order that I may soon simplify that from [insert here] ([insert here]: Eight divination tools drawn in the Chinese Book of Divination [insert here 8 types]. It is said that the first emperor of China created them after observing the heavens) to [insert here] ([insert here]: The four symbols of Yin-Yang. Formed by the merging of Yin and Yang there are four the manifestations called [insert here 4]), so that I may reach Yangyi." 

"Hmph. Do you like things that are one that much, Araya? Light and Darkness weren't divided because they had to oppose each other, but because that had the potential for containing the greatest number of things. Everything is lonely if by itself. That is why they try to multiply. You were never able to forgive that. Investigating the various deaths of humans, and making that your own by researching those lives. You would probably take even my death and make it into a piece of knowledge about the life and death of a human called Aozaki Touko to be stored away in the corner of your brain. You mean to figure out the value of a human that way, but doing that is the role of Yanma (Yanma: The king of hell in Buddhism). As a human yourself, all you can do is to continue existing in a hell that keeps sucking in deaths." 

"--- I'm perfectly content with that. Whether its heaven or hell, the fact that it is close to the floor doesn't change." 

Araya's words contain not a hint of hesitation or regret. 

His ridiculously powerful will that concludes that he is alone in this world. 

Touko thinks. 

Within this building that repeats the spiral of daily life, the original form of all the deaths that humans experience is swirling around. The records that the physical body called Araya Soren contained until now, this building has succeeded him as their container. This place was him, his will itself. 

... So, that meant that she was inside his body. 

Touko observed the atmosphere filling the lobby as she muttered to herself. The strained air wasn't for Araya's benefit. Rather, it was the soundless hatred of all the residents who had been murdered by this building. 

This amount of hatred that threatens to crush even her, day by day, Araya keeps expanding it. To borrow his words it wasn't the amount he was increasing but the quality. Since in the end, all those hundreds of deaths were but one identical way of dying. 

Murder born from love, in other words family, lover, mother, father, child. 

Murder born of hatred, in other words family, lover, friend, upperclassman, stranger. 

Various ways of dying for various reasons. 

Repeated everyday, a conclusion that keeps getting clearer. 

--- Death, becoming denser. 

This building is a spell. An altar constructed to solidify Araya Soren's will. In order to carry out magecraft of a grand scale you needed not only an incantation and your own prana, but also the sacrifice of other lives and the strength of the land itself. 

By constructing a magical temple in the present day, Araya is attempting to carry out magecraft of an even greater scale. 

No, it wasn't magecraft. A mystery that used a twisted dimension of this level was already no longer on the level of magecraft. 

This was --- that was right, a mystery of a province unreachable with today's knowledge. 

There was no doubt that this was an act of absolute power that human hands could not reach, magic. 

"--- Are you trying to open the road to the origin? 

But, how? Even if you don't set out a magical ward to testify that you aren't a mage, you can't fool the will of the dominant race. The only ones you can fool by using a technological ward are other mages. If you use this building a path will definitely open. Since its the realization of the Taeguekdo, a hole would certainly appear. But the first thing to come out of that hole will be a Counter Guardian. As long as we are who we are, there is no way we can stand up to that." 

"--- The Counter Force is already acting. The fact that you are in this city. The man who came to rob an empty house for no reason, as if he was possessed by something. The woman who was assaulted and killed on this road that has never known such things in the past. I tried this hard to hide my activities, but the Counter Force has already acted three times. 

But that is all. I will not be going any closer to the origin. The many failures I have experienced will not go to waste. There was a time when I didn't know of the power called the Counter Force and tried to open a path, but I couldn't fool its eyes. One time I attempted this with a way to overthrow the Counter Force itself, but it always appeared with strength greater that any I could bring to bear. 

There is only one conclusion. I do not have the ability." 

For the first time --- the voice carries a sound which is close to emotion. 

The black-clad man contains the mage beneath his eyes within his field of vision. 

"The Counter Force interferes with any attempt to reach enlightenment to this extent. Because that is an act which leads to the power which humans cannot be allowed to attain, a return to nothingness. If the individual called a human becomes completed, all meaning of life disappears. In spite of that these rank and file humans unconsciously reject completion because of their desire to just keep on living. All humans from the point where they realise they are human, becoming things lower than animals. They exist in order to be completed, but in order to exist they reject completion. Humanity's beginning starts from that paradox. 

In that case, why are there those who reached the origin? The answer is simple. There is no way of reaching it. There are just humans who have reached it. No matter what branch you study, magecraft is nothing but a descendant that was attached later on. Ability is like that. You have it from the moment that you are born. It is the difference between being chosen and not being chosen. A humans who is connected to the origin from the moment they are born. We are a dominant organism that has digressed too far from the first great element that was our origin by becoming complicated and diversified, but there are rarely people who are born from the origin. Colourless souls who are born connected to 「　　」. That is probably the only existence that can reach the original source. In that case all that remains is to find it. In finding it, I spent ten years of my life." 

"Is that so? So that's how you concluded that you had to destroy Ryougi Shiki." 

She narrows her two eyes. 

Ryougi Shiki. The Ryougi clan was a family who had toiled over the ages to give birth to one with an empty body who could act as a vessel, all in order to create a human with maximum uses. To be empty was 「　　」. Without realising what a dangerous thing they were doing, they had given birth to a body called Shiki who was connected to 「　　」. 

"--- Is that why you used Fujoh Kirie and Asagami Fujino? 

If you moved yourself you would get found out by the Counter Force. So you had to always be at arms length while you destroy Shiki without allowing it to notice your existence. Right? By making Shiki confront murderers who held concepts totally opposite to her own, you made Shiki realise her own nature. If you are trying to make someone realise an idea I guess it is faster to let them experience it than to teach them. 

So, what was it that you wanted, Araya? For Shiki and SHIKI to tear each other apart and leave behind an empty shell? Or did you just want to meet Ryougi Shiki?" 

"Two years ago was to draw 'her' out. But it's different now. I told you the conclusion was already out. Shiki does not require that body. That body which is connected to the origin, I shall be taking it and making it my own." 

Upon hearing that undisguised statement, Touko went Huh, and her mouth hung open. Her mind that had instantly understood what Araya was saying had gone white with shock. 

"It couldn't be, that you plan to move your brain to Shiki's body... ?!" 

Araya does not reply to Touko's disbelieving remark. Seeing his stare that implied he had nothing to say, Touko mumbled something about him really having bad tastes. 

"But still, the fact that you are still in that body must mean that Shiki is still unharmed. I'm just asking, but is there any chance of you returning Shiki?" 

"If you want her do as you will." 

"Oho. Does that mean I have no choice but to fight. Geez, I never was a combat specialist. It looks like I'm going to suffer a bit for the sin of knowing that person." 

"I'll just ask as well but, Aozaki. Will you not join me?" 

His hostile gaze or his determined will never changed, but amidst the tension Araya Soren asked that of her. 

Touko replied. 

Saying, not a chance, with pumpkin coloured eyes that glared at him in the same manner. 

"... Is that so. How disappointing. I always thought you were better than that. We once fought in order to reach the origin. To tell the truth I was interested in you." 

Thump, Araya's feet made noise as he came foward. 

As if he meant to get close to the stairway leading to the first floor. 

"In that academy you at least weren't a part of the collective. I aimed for the original form of the soul, and you aimed for the original form of the body. I was certain that you would be the one to reach our goal first. 

But --- you gave up. Why? The you right now has even thrown away the fact that you are a mage. 

What did you study for, and what did you build up your power for? 

What was it that your pilgrimage was meant to save, what was it meant to achieve?" 

The black mage growls. 

Quietly, with a voice no different from any other time, his two eyes alone are burning with rage. 

Seeing that light in his eyes Touko replied. 

"There was no great reason. I just became tired of creating more paradoxes every time I tried for the fundamental truth. The more we studied, the further away we got. It's the same as the Maelstrom of Origins. You can't approach it without the innocence we call emptiness, but in an empty state you aren't aware of it, so there's no point. --- It's the same as you. I accepted that, and you haven't. Just that, but it's a decisive difference." 

Araya listened to the confession that was tinged with sadness without blinking an eyelash. 

The gazes of the two collide. 

Touko says to Araya. A mage's true nature, the paradox of becoming dumber the more wise you got. 

Araya says to Touko. A mage's true quality, the fact of reaching higher and higher places the more you studied. 

"You, have degenerated." 

Briefly, he speaks with all his feelings. 

"In that case what are you aiming for? Why do you stand there?" 

"... Who knows. The reason I'm here, there really isn't much. I'm not even that interested in Shiki. Her body is full of black boxes so I can't even make anything similar." 

That was right, she has no definite reason. 

It could be that without her realising it she had been pushed into the act by some unidentifiable thing like the Counter Force. 

However, that was alright even if that was the case. She had accepted the life she now led under the name of Aozaki Touko. She knew that this was something that had been built up through miracles and coincidence, and could never be formed again. Even supposing she was to repeat everything from the beginning like this paradoxical mansion, she would not be able to obtain a life like the one she had now. 

So --- all that had happened was that she had decided to protect it if it could be protected. 

"... Really, it's an incredible degeneration. I'm steadily getting weaker. 

Araya. What I regard as the idealistic transcendent being is a hermit. Staying by themselves alone in a mountain, doing nothing even though they possess immense power and knowledge ---. I always admired such a way of existing. But when I realised what had happened I could no longer go back. A day when I can reach that state will never come to someone so full of greed like me. That, is what I believe. 

You see, Araya. A mage always lives hurriedly. What for? If it was for themselves alone they wouldn't bother with the outside world. So why do they intrude upon the rest of the world? Why do they rely upon it? What will they achieve with that power? What will they save with the Ars Magna (Ars Magna: Meaning 'great secret technique', it stands not for a technique that is not learnt through study but for a mystery that is secretly passed down)? If that was the case it would have been better for them to become a king instead of a mage. 

You think people live foully, but you yourself would not be able to live like that. You would not be able to live while accepting the fact that you know that everything is worthless and base. You would not be able to live without the pride of knowing that you alone are special, and that you alone can save this crumbling world. Of course, I was like that too. But that sort of thing has no meaning. 

--- Accept it, Araya. We chose the path of transcendence called magecraft because we are weaker than everybody else." 

The mage does not reply. 

Taking one step after another, he approaches the stairs. 

"... I have already obtained the road to the origin. With but a few steps more my hopes will come to fruition. Those who interfere, no matter who it is I will acknowledge as the Counter Force. Aozaki, you too were nothing more than human in the end." 

The air in the lobby becomes tense. 

A pressure that makes you wonder if space itself is not responding to the mage's killing intent and crumpling into itself. 

Inside there, she gazed at her former comrade from a distance. 

The long questioning in order to fill in the years they were apart ends here. 

Lastly --- As a mage called Aozaki, she asks of Araya a few questions. 

"Araya, what do you wish for?" 

"True wisdom." 

"Araya, where will you look for it?" 

"Only, in myself." 

The man answers without any hesitation. 

The footsteps stopped at the end of the stairs. 

In order to erase each other's existence from the world, both of them initiated their actions. 

***

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 Glossary and Notes

2009-04-16T01:06:27Z

61.11.175.146:

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 Glossary and Notes

2009-04-16T01:06:03Z

61.11.175.146:

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 012

2009-04-16T01:04:59Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/12 (Spiral Paradox, 9)''' 

The red sun lights up the spiral tower. 

Within the orange world confronted by the approach of sunset, Aozaki Touko set foot on the grounds of the mansion. 

The brown-dyed lizardskin longcoat doesn't suit her thin body. It looked more like armor than clothing. 

She looked up at the mansion once, then lifted up the orange bag in one hand and started to walk. 

Passing the lawn covered in green grass she enters the mansion. 

Constructed of glass, the lobby has been dyed a deep red by the light of the setting sun. 

The floor, the wall, and even the column that holds the elevator leading upstairs, they are all as red as if they were inside the sun. 

After thinking for a brief moment she changed her destination. 

And so she walked to the side that didn't face the elevator, the East side of the lobby. 

... Divided in two, this mansion has separate lobbies on the East and West sides. 

She goes to one of those, the lobby on the first floor of the East building. 

The lobby is a wide semi-circular space. 

The second floor ceiling is clearly visible so it feels like some huge reception hall. Here inside the building there is no orange light from the setting sun. Only the yellow illumination of the lights shines off the marble floor. 

"How surprising. You are very impatient, aren't you." 

Highly pitched considering his sex, a man's voice echoes through the lobby. 

Touko doesn't say anything in response, and wordlessly lifts her gaze. 

The stairway that connects to the second floor by way of its gentle incline. In the center stands a man in a red coat. 

"But that's a delightful thing too. Hurry on in, to my [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Gehenna]]. I welcome you, greatest of doll-makers." 

Laughing joyfully, the mage Cornelius Alba greets her with an overdramatic gesture as if he were an actor on a stage. 

*** 

"Gehenna (Hell)?" 

"Of course. This is the recreation of the altar of fire that was on the Valley of Hinnom. It's a tool within which we've gathered the concepts from burning, killing, and torturing people '''(I think my translation of this is a little off)'''. Although unfortunately Moloch who is the owner of this God's Palace (?) is away at the moment. How splendid is it? A twisted dimension of this level should be completely separated from the physical laws of the outside world. Preparations for opening the path were finished long ago, Aozaki." 

The red mage looks down at Touko and speaks confidently. 

Contrary to the energetic young man, she keeps her emotions locked away as she replies. 

"For Agrippa's direct descendant to be wallowing in the religion of the Jews, how amusing. That's why you still haven't understood the true nature of this place. Hell? That kind of thing exists somewhere on this Earth at this very moment. If you want to see murder on a scale that the human mind cannot comprehend go to a battlefield. If you wish to see human's dying on a scale you could never believe just go to any starving nations. Something like this isn't Hell. It's merely Purgatory, this." 

And, she puts her bag down upon the floor. 

Tock, a dry sound. 

"A place where eternally tormented souls who committed small crimes and cannot go to heaven or hell reside. That is the true identity of this place. A closed loop where the torture isn't carried out to fulfill some purpose, but where the whole purpose is to torture. In something like this, there isn't any thaumatergical effect --- or at least not for a outsider like you." 

The piercing words cause the red mage to twitch and for a spasm to run across his face. 

She narrows her eyes, as if she was facing the building instead of the youth on the stairway. 

"This Taegukdo structure isn't of your doing is it? That's enough so bring Araya out. You aren't competent enough, and there isn't anything that would benefit you in the events that will occur now. I'm not sure what your objectives are, but there aren't any values here that are easy enough for you to understand. I'll say that at least in return for your warning last time." 

Touko looks around as if saying, that's all. Without giving the red mage who is standing right in front of her another glance, she looks for someone who isn't even there. 

The mage keeps looking at her acting like that. 

With eyes full of hatred that looks as if tears could come out at any moment. 

"You, were always like that." 

That mutter was something that flowed out because he couldn't take it any longer. 

"Yes. You were always like this. You always underestimated me like that. I specialised in Rune before you. I was also the one who was famed as a dollmaker, I alone. But, those feeble minded idiots were fooled by that attitude of yours. Your condescending attitude, it gave them the impression that I was inferior to you. It's obvious if you think about it! I'm the director of Suponheim aren't I? I have spent over 40 years as a mage. So why was it that I had to be below a little girl who had just entered her twenties... !" 

His muttering, growing steadily louder now filled the lobby. 

Touko-san stares disinterestedly at this person, who has now abandoned all pretense at friendliness and pours abuse upon her. 

"Age isn't important when it comes to academics. It's alright to make yourself look young, Cornelius. But it's because you are so concerned with your outward appearance that the contents don't match up." 

That one cold statement, it was a provocative insult like no other to the other mage. 

The face of the handsome young man whose age has passed fifty contorts with hatred. 

"--- Haven't I explained my objective yet?" 

With a strained calmness, the red mage changes the flow of the conversation. 

"You know, I don't care what happens to an useless thing like Araya's experiment. To tell you the truth I don't have any interest in the Maelstrom of Origins. Chasing after something that may or may not exist, it's nonsense. If you wish to intrude upon the domain of God all you have to do is devote yourself to Gnosis (Gnosis: Complete knowledge of this universe. The word comes from the Greek and can be translated as understanding, awareness, or wisdom. But because of the complicated religious and other entwined meanings implied by the word it is normally referred to as Gnosis). There's no reason to go upstream." 

He falls back one step. As if to get to the 2nd floor, little by little he climbs the stairs. 

"It was my own decision to tell you about Ryougi Shiki. Araya lost his life while capturing Ryougi Shiki. That fight was a draw. Following that this ward became mine. But you know, I have no intention of continuing his experiment. It's obvious as to why. You see, Aozaki, the only reason I came to a god forsaken country like this was because I thought I could kill you!" 

Laughing so wildly as to make you worry that he may hurt his throat, the mage leaps up the stairs. 

She can only watch calmly as the mage goes up to the 2nd floor. 

Because... the 1st floor lobby was already full of things that could have been the realisation of the mage's ill will. 

At that time, her words contained more scorn and hatred than ever before as she spoke. 

"--- Slimes, is it." 

Aozaki quickly described the plasmous forms that were filling the space around her. 

But the things that were spreading out from the lobby walls weren't so simple as that. The cream coloured mucus dripped down from the wall and quickly took on a shape. 

Some took a human shape, others took the shapes of beasts. 

Their faces looked like Keloid (Keloid: a growth upon the body formed by a tissue swelling up and becoming hard. Normally they swell up flat and many are red and have a shiny surface) and kept melting away, but these things that kept rebuilding themselves looked very real. If you were to take an example they were like real animals and humans who rotted away for eternity, existences that were both disgusting and elaborate at the same time. 

"To think that you could only realise these sort of things in a place like this. Alba, it would be better for you to switch to being a film director rather than continue as a mage. If it was you there would be no reason to worry about the budget for preparing special effects. Of course, you would have to specialise in cheap horror movies, but it would still be a much more suitable job for you than a director." 

Surrounded by the objects that had filled the lobby, she muttered. 

Certainly, this scene was reminiscent of a horror movie. If you were to point out a difference, it would only be that crosses and holy bullets had no effect against these things. 

And so, although the slime-like objects had surrounded her on all sides but for a 1 metre gap around her, she didn't bat a eyelash as she reached for the pocket inside her suit. 

... Chit, she clicks her tongue. Now that she thought about it she had entrusted Mikiya with her cigarettes, Touko was slightly regretful. If she had known things were going to turn out like this she would have bought some Japanese brands at least, she muttered to herself. 

She hadn't expected such a boring outcome in her wildest dreams. How could she withstand this without smoking one cigarette at least ---. 

"No, you couldn't even be a director. Your presentation is too clumsy. Audiences these days won't be satisfied with just this. I suppose there's no helping it, I'll give you an example. Alba, If you are going to put forward a mystery, you will have to maintain this level at least." 

Tock, she kicked the bag beside her feet with the ends of her toes. 

"--- Come out." 

An order full of authority, disallowing refusal. 

In response to that the bag opens. Clunk, and the bag opens up like a tulip but there is nothing inside. 

At the same time --- some black thing starts spinning around the mage called Aozaki Touko. 

The black thing was a hurricane with a body. 

With Touko as the eye of the storm, it spins round and round and round at a high speed. 

That was a force which could drive one crazy. 

Within a few seconds there is nothing in the lobby. Not a body or a shadow remained of the things that had flowed out of the walls. The only things there were Aozaki Touko and her closed bag. And the cat sitting in front of her. 

"--- What." 

Stunned, Alba could only look upon all this. 

The cat is bigger than Touko. Its body is night black, but does not possess any thickness. A flat black cat made from shadow. No, he can't even tell if it is a cat. A shadow that resembled a cat, upon its head region is a eye that looked like an Egyptian hieroglyph. 

"What, is that --- ?" 

From the 2nd floor, he looked down at the cat. 

His gaze meets the cat's drawing-like eyes. When they did --- erasing the space where its mouth should have gone, the cat gives him a broad smile. 

Was he having a nightmare, Alba swallows his breath. 

Touko doesn't say anything. 

The only noise is a scratchy chkchkchk noise coming from somewhere. 

"That's not right, was the story that you lost your familiar to your sister only a lie ... !" 

As if he couldn't stand the silence, Alba shouts. 

She only replied with a 'I wonder' before shifting her glance to the black cat. 

"--- I fed you some nasty things. But this next one should taste a bit better. Real human flesh instead of these chunks of ether (Ether: The substance called the fifth element within the Association. Melting into the four great elements, it becomes the medium that is essential to form a shape. Within that whole it has no shape, but without this substance no magecraft can be achieved). It should also have plenty of spiritual nutritional value. There's no need to go easy because he's my old schoolmate. I always told you didn't I? That enemies are for eating." 

Instantly, the black cat starts running. 

Crossing the marble floor as if it were sliding along, it runs up the stairs. ... Even so the cat's feet do not move. Only its eye moves as its sitting shadow races towards the red coated human. 

To get from the 1st floor lobby where Touko was to the 2nd floor stairwell where Alba was, it probably hadn't taken 10 seconds. 

But, Alba wasn't some normal person to allow such a thing. 

He was a mage. 

"'''''Go away the shadow.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to touch the thing which are not visible.''''' 
'''''Forget the darkness.''''' 
'''''It is impossible to see the thing which are not touched.''''' 
'''''The question is prohibited.''''' 
'''''The answer is simple.''''' 
'''''I have the flame in the left hand.''''' 
'''''And I have everything in the right hand ---.'''''" 

Carefully, but with a speed which approached the human limits, Alba cants his spell. 

--- Spells, within the realm of mages they were nothing more than suggestions aimed at oneself. 

There is a magecraft for causing wind to blow. Just like a certain type of weapon, this was a power which had an ability that was determined from the start. No matter what mage used it its effect would not change. Only, the incantation was different. 

The incantations called spells were for the purpose of activating the magecraft that one's body had become familiar with. It's contents showed the nature of the mage. That was because as long as you kept the necessary meanings and keywords for the activation of that particular piece of magecraft, the details of the incantation could be changed to suit the user's fancy. 

The incantations of a narcissistic and pompous mage who easily got infatuated with themselves was long. But it was also true that the more meaning you put into the spell, the more powerful was the final effect. This was because the stronger the suggestion you put upon yourself, the stronger the ability you pulled out from yourself would be. 

Taken in that light Alba's incantation could be said to be outstanding. Not too long, holding the minimum required contents, and putting a phrase to fix his mind on top of that, the speaking of the incantation itself doesn't even take 2 seconds. 

At that fact Touko let out an exclamation of surprise, and admired the performance. 

The younger Alba had liked to use incantations that had been wasteful and longer then necessary, but it seemed that in the last few years he had definitely developed. 

His method and speed of forming the incantation, and his way of connecting his circuits in order to manipulate the physical world is remarkably precise. 

This incantation, in the realm of magecrafts that were designed to purely destroy things, was definitely first class. 

"'''''I am the order. Therefore,''''' 
''''''you will be defeated securely --- !'''''" 

Alba puts forward one arm. 

The instant that the black cat stepped onto the first of the steps, the air wavered faintly --- then the stairway erupted into flame. 

Like a wavering mirage rising up into the sky, a sea of blue flames fills the stairway. 

In a matter of seconds, the top of the flames that emerged from the stairs themselves have burnt through the second floor and disappear into the ceiling. 

It looked like a geyser in some geothermal hotspot. 

Sucking dry all the oxygen in the lobby in an instant, the sea of flame instantly erased the black cat from the world. That was only to be expected too. These thaumatergical flames that were well over a 1000 degrees Celsius, any animal that entered them would soon be melted like butter and turn from a solid to a gas. Passing through the liquid stage wouldn't have taken the time required for a comma. 

But, Alba saw it. 

The impossible shape of the black cat, suddenly appearing once all the flames had burnt themselves out. 

"--- That can't be right." 

Blue eyes stare at the stairs. 

The black cat licked it thin black body as if it that last spell had been unsatisfactory, then shifted its gaze to the red mage. 

The black monster resumes its charge. 

Alba didn't even have the time to try and puzzle out the cat's nature. 

"'''''Repeat ... !'''''" 

With a tearing sharpness Alba repeated his spell. 

The stairs erupted into flames. But this time the cat didn't even stop. It raced straight towards the mage as if saying it had already gotten used to this kind of fire. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

Once again the sea of flame roars up, and disappears. 

The cat was already nearing the top of the stairs. 

"'''''Repeat!'''''" 

The fourth conflagration ended meaninglessly as well. 

Once the black cat reached the second floor, it went up to Alba and opened up its mouth. The body of the cat which was as big as a man, it opened up from its head to toe. As if opening up a treasure chest with the crown of its head as a lid. 

Inside of the flat, planar cat the corpses of the protoplasmic creatures it had swallowed earlier are pasted like mud. 

Alba realised only then. That this thing was only taking the shape of a cat, and that it was an organism that only had a mouth. 

"'''''Repeat --- !'''''" 

With death in front of his eyes terror makes him repeat his final spell. 

But before that, the shark's mouth in the body of a cat closes down upon the mage. When it swallowed him whole with his red coat, Alba lost consciousness. 

*** 

"'''''[Insert here].''''''" 

Suddenly a brief word was spoken. 

The cat that was in the process of biting Alba's body stops moving. 

Even Touko who had been just standing there watching like a spectator responds to that sound. 

There is a man behind Alba. 

With fierce eyes full of an endless suffering, the man is wearing a black coat. 

There was no sign of his appearance, as if he had been there this whole time. 

The black man grabbed Alba, then pulls him out of the cat and throws him onto the floor. Caught in one of the threefold circles the man carries about his being the cat cannot move. 

The man looks at the woman below him. With just that the air in the lobby changed dramatically. 

Was this what they meant when they said "the air froze over"? 

The tranquil atmosphere disappears. As if the house itself was getting tense after welcoming its true owner. 

"--- Long time no see, Aozaki." 

"Yeah, although we probably didn't want to see each other." 

The 1st floor and the 2nd floor --- divided between heaven and earth, Touko confronted the one called Araya Soren who was the source of this disturbance. 

"It looks like Alba leapt about too much. I originally intended to finish this without your noticing. Well, it can't be helped. I could not prepare sixty four bodies by myself. The fact that you are here in this city is probably coincidence as well as misfortune." 

"I don't know which side dragged the other in. But, coincidence is the jargon for mystery. In order to disguise a law we can't figure out we bring out the word coincidence." 

Giving that reply Touko retreated towards the wall. 

This opponent is on a completely different level to Alba. Ability wise they may have been similar, but in this building Araya Soren was greater than anyone else. If she does not put her back to the wall and concentrate on the enemy before her she was bound to leave herself wide open. 

"--- So. What kind of mechanism is this mansion? It couldn't be that it is a box where the paradox of those who are dead being alive are made real, could it? It was concluded hundreds of years ago that fabricating a world where a day is complete and gathering the souls at the moment they die isn't effective. No matter how many hundreds of deaths you gather you can't achieve your objective. 

"Of course. But there is a fact that you don't know. 

It's true that I was only pursuing the number of deaths. I was certain that if I experienced tens of thousands of different deaths among different people, I would be able to find a spiritual diffusion that led to the origin. However with just that alone I cannot reach the origin. The only thing that you can come close to with that, is humanity's 'origin'. You cannot reach the origin of that totality known as the dominant organism. 

The important thing is not the amount of deaths. It's the quality of death. If you approach the origin the ways of dying become surprisingly well defined. By dissecting the road to death, I determined that there are 64 different methods of dying. The ones who are gathered here are people who die in everyone of those 64 ways. In other words they are a miniture copy of the world. I experience their suffering, and engrave it into my heart. In order that I may soon simplify that from [insert here] ([insert here]: Eight divination tools drawn in the Chinese Book of Divination [insert here 8 types]. It is said that the first emperor of China created them after observing the heavens) to [insert here] ([insert here]: The four symbols of Yin-Yang. Formed by the merging of Yin and Yang there are four the manifestations called [insert here 4]), so that I may reach Yangyi." 

"Hmph. Do you like things that are one that much, Araya? Light and Darkness weren't divided because they had to oppose each other, but because that had the potential for containing the greatest number of things. Everything is lonely if by itself. That is why they try to multiply. You were never able to forgive that. Investigating the various deaths of humans, and making that your own by researching those lives. You would probably take even my death and make it into a piece of knowledge about the life and death of a human called Aozaki Touko to be stored away in the corner of your brain. You mean to figure out the value of a human that way, but doing that is the role of Yanma (Yanma: The king of hell in Buddhism). As a human yourself, all you can do is to continue existing in a hell that keeps sucking in deaths." 

"--- I'm perfectly content with that. Whether its heaven or hell, the fact that it is close to the floor doesn't change." 

Araya's words contain not a hint of hesitation or regret. 

His ridiculously powerful will that concludes that he is alone in this world. 

Touko thinks. 

Within this building that repeats the spiral of daily life, the original form of all the deaths that humans experience is swirling around. The records that the physical body called Araya Soren contained until now, this building has succeeded him as their container. This place was him, his will itself. 

... So, that meant that she was inside his body. 

Touko observed the atmosphere filling the lobby as she muttered to herself. The strained air wasn't for Araya's benefit. Rather, it was the soundless hatred of all the residents who had been murdered by this building. 

This amount of hatred that threatens to crush even her, day by day, Araya keeps expanding it. To borrow his words it wasn't the amount he was increasing but the quality. Since in the end, all those hundreds of deaths were but one identical way of dying. 

Murder born from love, in other words family, lover, mother, father, child. 

Murder born of hatred, in other words family, lover, friend, senpai, stranger. 

Various ways of dying for various reasons. 

Repeated everyday, a conclusion that keeps getting clearer. 

--- Death, becoming denser. 

This building is a spell. An altar constructed to solidify Araya Soren's will. In order to carry out magecraft of a grand scale you needed not only an incantation and your own prana, but also the sacrifice of other lives and the strength of the land itself. 

By constructing a magical temple in the present day, Araya is attempting to carry out magecraft of an even greater scale. 

No, it wasn't magecraft. A mystery that used a twisted dimension of this level was already no longer on the level of magecraft. 

This was --- that was right, a mystery of a province unreachable with today's knowledge. 

There was no doubt that this was an act of absolute power that human hands could not reach, magic. 

"--- Are you trying to open the road to the origin? 

But, how? Even if you don't set out a magical ward to testify that you aren't a mage, you can't fool the will of the dominant race. The only ones you can fool by using a technological ward are other mages. If you use this building a path will definitely open. Since its the realisation of the Taegukdo, a hole would certainly appear. But the first thing to come out of that hole will be a Counter Guardian. As long as we are who we are, there is no way we can stand up to that." 

"--- The Counter Force is already acting. The fact that you are in this city. The man who came to rob an empty house for no reason, as if he was possessed by something. The woman who was assaulted and killed on this road that has never known such things in the past. I tried this hard to hide my activities, but the Counter Force has already acted three times. 

But that is all. I will not be going any closer to the origin. The many failures I have experienced will not go to waste. There was a time when I didn't know of the power called the Counter Force and tried to open a path, but I couldn't fool its eyes. One time I attempted this with a way to overthrow the Counter Force itself, but it always appeared with strength greater that any I could bring to bear. 

There is only one conclusion. I do not have the ability." 

For the first time --- the voice carries a sound which is close to emotion. 

The black-clad man contains the mage beneath his eyes within his field of vision. 

"The Counter Force interferes with any attempt to reach enlightenment to this extent. Because that is an act which leads to the power which humans cannot be allowed to attain, a return to nothingness. If the individual called a human becomes completed, all meaning of life disappears. In spite of that these rank and file humans unconsciously reject completion because of their desire to just keep on living. All humans from the point where they realise they are human, becoming things lower than animals. They exist in order to be completed, but in order to exist they reject completion. Humanity's beginning starts from that paradox. 

In that case, why are there those who reached the origin? The answer is simple. There is no way of reaching it. There are just humans who have reached it. No matter what branch you study, magecraft is nothing but a descendant that was attached later on. Ability is like that. You have it from the moment that you are born. It is the difference between being chosen and not being chosen. A humans who is connected to the origin from the moment they are born. We are a dominant organism that has digressed too far from the first great element that was our origin by becoming complicated and diversified, but there are rarely people who are born from the origin. Colourless souls who are born connected to 「　　」. That is probably the only existence that can reach the original source. In that case all that remains is to find it. In finding it, I spent ten years of my life." 

"Is that so? So that's how you concluded that you had to destroy Ryougi Shiki." 

She narrows her two eyes. 

Ryougi Shiki. The Ryougi clan was a family who had toiled over the ages to give birth to one with an empty body who could act as a vessel, all in order to create a human with maximum uses. To be empty was 「　　」. Without realising what a dangerous thing they were doing, they had given birth to a body called Shiki who was connected to 「　　」. 

"--- Is that why you used Fujoh Kirie and Asagami Fujino? 

If you moved yourself you would get found out by the Counter Force. So you had to always be at arms length while you destroy Shiki without allowing it to notice your existence. Right? By making Shiki confront murderers who held concepts totally opposite to her own, you made Shiki realise her own nature. If you are trying to make someone realise an idea I guess it is faster to let them experience it than to teach them. 

So, what was it that you wanted, Araya? For Shiki and SHIKI to tear each other apart and leave behind an empty shell? Or did you just want to meet Ryougi Shiki?" 

"Two years ago was to draw 'her' out. But it's different now. I told you the conclusion was already out. Shiki does not require that body. That body which is connected to the origin, I shall be taking it and making it my own." 

Upon hearing that undisguised statement, Touko went Huh, and her mouth hung open. Her mind that had instantly understood what Araya was saying had gone white with shock. 

"It couldn't be, that you plan to move your brain to Shiki's body... ?!" 

Araya does not reply to Touko's disbelieving remark. Seeing his stare that implied he had nothing to say, Touko mumbled something about him really having bad tastes. 

"But still, the fact that you are still in that body must mean that Shiki is still unharmed. I'm just asking, but is there any chance of you returning Shiki?" 

"If you want her do as you will." 

"Oho. Does that mean I have no choice but to fight. Geez, I never was a combat specialist. It looks like I'm going to suffer a bit for the sin of knowing that person." 

"I'll just ask as well but, Aozaki. Will you not join me?" 

His hostile gaze or his determined will never changed, but amidst the tension Araya Soren asked that of her. 

Touko replied. 

Saying, not a chance, with pumpkin coloured eyes that glared at him in the same manner. 

"... Is that so. How disappointing. I always thought you were better than that. We once fought in order to reach the origin. To tell the truth I was interested in you." 

Thump, Araya's feet made noise as he came foward. 

As if he meant to get close to the stairway leading to the first floor. 

"In that academy you at least weren't a part of the collective. I aimed for the original form of the soul, and you aimed for the original form of the body. I was certain that you would be the one to reach our goal first. 

But --- you gave up. Why? The you right now has even thrown away the fact that you are a mage. 

What did you study for, and what did you build up your power for? 

What was it that your pilgrimage was meant to save, what was it meant to achieve?" 

The black mage growls. 

Quietly, with a voice no different from any other time, his two eyes alone are burning with rage. 

Seeing that light in his eyes Touko replied. 

"There was no great reason. I just became tired of creating more paradoxes every time I tried for the fundamental truth. The more we studied, the further away we got. It's the same as the Maelstrom of Origins. You can't approach it without the innocence we call emptiness, but in an empty state you aren't aware of it, so there's no point. --- It's the same as you. I accepted that, and you haven't. Just that, but it's a decisive difference." 

Araya listened to the confession that was tinged with sadness without blinking an eyelash. 

The gazes of the two collide. 

Touko says to Araya. A mage's true nature, the paradox of becoming dumber the more wise you got. 

Araya says to Touko. A mage's true quality, the fact of reaching higher and higher places the more you studied. 

"You, have degenerated." 

Briefly, he speaks with all his feelings. 

"In that case what are you aiming for? Why do you stand there?" 

"... Who knows. The reason I'm here, there really isn't much. I'm not even that interested in Shiki. Her body is full of black boxes so I can't even make anything similar." 

That was right, she has no definite reason. 

It could be that without her realising it she had been pushed into the act by some unidentifiable thing like the Counter Force. 

However, that was alright even if that was the case. She had accepted the life she now led under the name of Aozaki Touko. She knew that this was something that had been built up through miracles and coincidence, and could never be formed again. Even supposing she was to repeat everything from the beginning like this paradoxical mansion, she would not be able to obtain a life like the one she had now. 

So --- all that had happened was that she had decided to protect it if it could be protected. 

"... Really, it's an incredible degeneration. I'm steadily getting weaker. 

Araya. What I regard as the idealistic transcendent being is a hermit. Staying by themselves alone in a mountain, doing nothing even though they possess immense power and knowledge ---. I always admired such a way of existing. But when I realised what had happened I could no longer go back. A day when I can reach that state will never come to someone so full of greed like me. That, is what I believe. 

You see, Araya. A mage always lives hurriedly. What for? If it was for themselves alone they wouldn't bother with the outside world. So why do they intrude upon the rest of the world? Why do they rely upon it? What will they achieve with that power? What will they save with the Ars Magna (Ars Magna: Meaning 'great secret technique', it stands not for a technique that is not learnt through study but for a mystery that is secretly passed down)? If that was the case it would have been better for them to become a king instead of a mage. 

You think people live foully, but you yourself would not be able to live like that. You would not be able to live while accepting the fact that you know that everything is worthless and base. You would not be able to live without the pride of knowing that you alone are special, and that you alone can save this crumbling world. Of course, I was like that too. But that sort of thing has no meaning. 

--- Accept it, Araya. We chose the path of transcendence called magecraft because we are weaker than everybody else." 

The mage does not reply. 

Taking one step after another, he approaches the stairs. 

"... I have already obtained the road to the origin. With but a few steps more my hopes will come to fruition. Those who interfere, no matter who it is I will acknowledge as the Counter Force. Aozaki, you too were nothing more than human in the end." 

The air in the lobby becomes tense. 

A pressure that makes you wonder if space itself is not responding to the mage's killing intent and crumpling into itself. 

Inside there, she gazed at her former comrade from a distance. 

The long questioning in order to fill in the years they were apart ends here. 

Lastly --- As a mage called Aozaki, she asks of Araya a few questions. 

"Araya, what do you wish for?" 

"True wisdom." 

"Araya, where will you look for it?" 

"Only, in myself." 

The man answers without any hesitation. 

The footsteps stopped at the end of the stairs. 

In order to erase each other's existence from the world, both of them initiated their actions. 

***

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 09

2009-04-16T01:03:17Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/9 (Spiral Paradox 5)''' 

'''TN: 2 More chapters to go until end of volume 1''' 

... Click, click, click, click. 

When I woke up, I found myself in Ryougi's room. 

In that desolate room that I hadn't set foot in after that night when I confessed to her about killing my parents. 

Outside the sun is setting. That clock that still grates on my ears, it's pointing towards six o'clock. 

--- My head hurts. 

Has it been 9 days or so since I cut relations with Ryougi. I've been living like a hobo on the streets that have just greeted November. Skipping meals, I've just been looking out for the news that my parents' bodies have been discovered. 

Maybe it was because I've been living as the lowest grade of human, but my headache got worse day by day. Not only that but my body's started creaking. It could be because I haven't been paying much attention to my health, but every joint that could be called a joint was heavy. 

"... What the hell am I doing?" 

I mumble as I hug my knees. 

It had been my intention to never set foot in this place again. 

But right now --- I wanted to hear Ryougi's voice. 

Clatter clatter, my teeth were trembling. 

As if I had gotten terrified and was asking for help, before I knew it I was here. 

How long did I stay in the darkness like that. 

Suddenly, the world was filled with light. 

"What the heck are you doing Enjoh? Do you like lurking in the dark like that or something?" 

So speaks the girl in the white kimono and red leather jacket. 

She doesn't even think it strange that I am here. 

From her shoulder length black hair, those deep black eyes, to her boyish way of speaking. 

Exactly the same in every respect as before, Ryougi came into the room as if it was a natural thing to do. 

"Even so your timing is too good, it's perfect." 

Mumbling something like that Ryougi puts the bundle in her hands on the bed. Going straight into the unused room, she brings out a long and thin wooden box. 

"Just a minute, I have to fit this on somehow." 

Ryougi unwraps the bundle. Inside there is only a long sword. 

The kimono girl opens the wooden box with practiced hands and takes out a scabbard and a hilt, a big coin like thing that she puts onto the sword. 

"Eh? The habaki (Habaki: A little metal piece you put on the top and bottom of the hilt to hold the blade in place) is too small. Ah damn it, why doesn't it fit. ... What a nuisance, this is the only habaki I have." 

Grumbling discontentedly, Ryougi chucks the sword that has transformed from a simple blade to a magnificent katana onto the bed, and looks in my direction. 

"Done. You have something to say right?" 

In contrast to her words Ryougi's face is still indifferent. 

I --- couldn't think of what to say or how to say it. I only knew that I had been wanting to ask someone for help. 

... Nothing's changed. 

From the first time I met Ryougi, I didn't even know what kind of help I wanted to receive from her. 

"--- I don't know. I think something’s happened to me. I can't have any confidence in myself." 

Ryougi doesn't say anything, and stares at me with fixed eyes. 

All I can do is keep talking like I have been. 

"Today, I saw my mother on the street. At first I thought it was someone who resembled her. But ... It was definitely my mother. I followed her you see and... It doesn't make any sense --- she returned to the mansion ---." 

Not knowing what to do with my trembling body, I kept rattling on. 

--- And then. 

Ryougi said, Is that so, and stood up. 

"So you are saying your parents are still alive. It didn't get reported in the news either, so it could be so." 

"There's no way that could be right! I definitely killed my mother. I killed my father too. That is an absolute fact. The ones who are wrong are the ones who are still alive!" 

That's right, so how is it that they are still living as usual. 

How is it that they are going home as always. 

To that, blood-spattered home which has become a scene out of hell, how ---. 

"Ho, it's wrong is it? Then let's go check." 

"--- Wha, what?" 

"I'm saying, all we have to do is go to that mansion and check. Whether Enjoh's parents are dead or alive. We would know for sure then." 

As if it was all decided, Ryougi starts moving again. 

She puts a long knife in the inner pocket of her leather jacket and hides a second knife in the belt of her kimono. 

Even though she goes through such grand preparations, as lightly if she's just going out to buy a pack of cigarettes, the white kimono girl starts walking. 

It seems Ryougi is prepared to go by herself at least. 

I didn't feel like being around her, but I couldn't let this brat go off by herself so I decided to tag along. 

"Enjoh, do you know how to ride a motorbike?" 

"... As much as anyone else." 

"Then, let's do it like that. The one I just rode back on is still there so let's take it." 

Ryougi moves to the underground parking lot. 

The fact that a small apartment like this has an underground parking lot is amazing in itself, but the motorbike Ryougi had prepared was amazing too. 

A sidecar is attached to a huge Harley-level motorbike. Without hesitating Ryougi got into the sidecar. 

Having already abandoned myself to the flow I got on the oversized motorbike and headed to the port-district mansion I had lived in until just 1 month ago. 

*** 

Because of the unfamiliar huge motorbike it was past seven at night when we arrived at the mansion. 

Under a sky so cold it was impossible to think of it as November, rises the round building that seems like it could scrape the moon. The building that stands out clearly from its box-like neighbours. This strange building has a peculiar structure, and is divided into an East building and a West building. Our house was number 4 of the East building. No, the West building never had any inhabitants. There weren't many residents so it is not used. 

From what I've heard there were a lot of people who hoped to get rooms, but the owner of the mansion was picky so he only filled about half of the total number. 

... The reason my house is in such a fancy mansion is because my father and the owner were acquaintances. 

"We are here." 

I say to Ryougi who is sitting in the sidecar.

Ryougi is staring at the mansion as if she's seen a ghost. 

"What, is that" that one question, is the only thing she utters. 

I left the motorbike on the side of the road and entered the mansion grounds. 

Surrounded by brick walls the grounds are about the size of a fairly big primary school. The building itself is round so it doesn't take up much space, but the size of the garden around it is staggering. 

Like a slash cutting that garden in two, a sealed path stretches to the mansion. 

I entered the lobby with Ryougi who had shut herself up. 

Walking into the lobby, we arrive at the huge column dominating the centre of the mansion. Inside the column is an elevator, and beside it is a rarely used spiral staircase. 

I summoned the elevator. 

Click, click, click, click. 

... It's an unpleasant feeling. 

My heart is beating faster than usual, I can't breathe properly. 

Is it only to be expected? Since we are about to go into the room where the corpses of those I have killed are lying. 

The elevator arrives. 

I go inside it. Ryougi follows as well. The door closes. 

Buu---------------------------------------ooong. 

With a running noise that's quite familiar to my ears the elevator goes up. 

"--- It's twisted." 

Out of nowhere, Ryougi mumbles that. 

The elevator arrived at the fourth floor. Getting off the elevator I started walking through the corridor that faced us as we got off, going in a South direction. 

When I walked out towards the outer side of the mansion, the path bent diagonally. The corridor goes around the East building. On the left are the individual residences, and on the right is the outside. There is a chest height steel railing so that no one falls 4 floors to the ground. 

"That's my house on the dead end over there." 

We walk there. The mansion is quiet as usual, and while you can hear people inside the rooms it's rare to meet them in the corridors. 

Coming to the room at the end of the corridor I stopped. 

--- Am I, really going inside?

My arm doesn't move. My eyesight gets hazy so I can't grasp the door handle. Oh wait, before that I have to ring the doorbell. 

Even if I do have the key, if I go in without ringing the doorbell my mother would get scared. There was once an incident where some debt collectors came charging into our house, after that time she would get scared whenever I came in without ringing the bell. 

My finger drifts over to the bell. 

Ryougi's hand stops me. 

"Don't bother with the bell. Let's go inside Enjoh." 

"--- What are you saying. Are you planning to just go in there as you please?" 

"Who cares, it's your house originally isn't it? It would be better to avoid hitting any switches anyway. We won't be able to see what kind of design it is then. You have a key don't you? Give it here for a sec." 

Ryougi received the key to our house from me then, with a click, turned the key. 

The door opens. ... Inside, the sound of a television. 

There's, someone here. 

Empty of emotion, the forms of a family conversation can be heard. 

The voice of my dad who blames the way we are living upon my mother and the world. 

The voice of my mom who listens without replying, just nodding to the words. 

"---." 

That is without doubt the daily life of Enjoh Tomoe. 

Ryougi slips inside without a sound. I too --- followed in her footsteps. 

Past the corridor, we open the door to the lounge. 

A cheap table and television that doesn't suit this excellent room. The dirty room that is filthy because it never gets cleaned properly. 

The people sitting there were without a doubt my parents. 

"Oi. Is Tomoe still not back? It's 8 o'clock already, one whole hour since he finished work. What the hell is he doing out there, that good for nothing!" 

"I wonder, who knows." 

"The reason that kid doesn't think of his parents as parents is all because you are too soft on him. Goddamnit, he thinks he doesn't have to pay his debts, not one coin comes my way. Just who does he think feeds and shelters him, that brat!" 

"I wonder, who knows." 

--- What. 
What, is this. 

My parents are here. My dad who firmly believes he is a bigshot in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, and my mother who plays along with him. 

Two people who should definitely be dead, they are still alive and living as if nothing has happened. 

Or, aren't they. 

These people, why aren't they looking around at us who just came in --- ?! 

"What time do you usually come home Enjoh?" 

Ryougi asks from beside my ear. I reply that it's around nine. 

"So one more hour is it. Let's wait until then." 

"What? This, Just what's going on Ryougi!" 

When I got angry at her too laid back attitude, Ryougi cast me a contemptuous glare as if to say I was annoying her. 

"All that's happening is that we didn't ring the doorbell or knock on the door, so they aren't meeting the guests. We didn't press the switch that let's them respond to an event outside the set pattern. So the situation is that there aren't guests, Enjoh's parents are just living as they normally do." 

Once she finishes talking, Ryougi confidently cut across the lounge to the small room beside it. ... That is, my room. 

After torturing myself with indecision for a moment I went into my room while avoiding my parents' eyes. 

I stand there like a tree. Ryougi too is leaning on a wall and waiting for the time to pass. 

Inside the unlit room, Ryougi and I just keep waiting. 

For what? 

Hu, isn't is obvious. Something like that, what else is there but the normal return of Enjoh Tomoe. 

At the place where I had committed murder before, I waited for myself. 

That was a strange time. 

Agony that felt like it lasted for an eternity and an instant. That which we call our sense of realism melted down, and the clock was turning backwards. 

In the end, I came back. 

I finally came back. I already came back. 

In the middle of those two conflicting emotions, Tomoe came into the room without speaking a word to his parents. 

The slightly curly red hair. The frail body. The delicate face that got him treated as a girl until middle school. This Tomoe who looked like he resented the world, took one deep breath. 

... It's a bit like meditating. 

As if I believed that by doing that all the difficult things I had encountered that day could be erased, that was my own little ritual. 

That Tomoe too, doesn't recognise this Tomoe. 

It's as if Ryougi and I have become ghosts. 

Soon, Tomoe lays out the futons and goes to bed. 

For a long time, with no thoughts on the matter although I knew what would happen next, I was watching Enjoh Tomoe. 

I could hear the sounds of a fight coming from the lounge. 

My dad's voice, and the passionate voice of my mother that I am hearing for the first time. 

My mother is attacking my father while letting out a harsh metallic screech. 

That was a barking dog, not a human. 

Or maybe it was some mysterious being from Venus. 

... For the first time I realised that a woman's hysteria was similar to the convulsions of a drug addict. 

This is some ridiculous first-hand experience I'm getting. 

Thud, an unpleasant sound. 

A rough breathing that I think belongs to mother can be heard through the door. 

Click, click, click, click. 

"... Stop it." 

Even if I murmur that, nothing changes. 

This is, of course.

Click, click, click, click. 

The door opens. Tomoe opens his eyes. My mother stops in the doorway with a big kitchen knife in her hands. 

"Tomoe, die." 

A woman's voice, void of emotion as if something has snapped. 

Click, click, click, click. 

Tomoe would have been looking into the glare. 

Mother, she's really. 

Crying, in apparent sadness. 

Cli, ck. 

Mother is wildly stabbing Tomoe. Stomach, chest, neck, arm, leg, thigh, finger, ear, nose, eye, and lastly the forehead as well. 

The kitchen knife breaks there, and with the broken blade mother cuts her own throat. 

--- Echoing through that room, pock, a dull noise. 

Clickclick, clickclick. 
Clickclick, clickclick. 
Clickcli, ck. Cli, ck. Click, cli, ckclick. 
........................ Clickclickclickclickclickclick! 

Ahah, just what --- 

"--- It's a horrible dream." 

My nightmare which has become reality. 

But I'm fine with any explanation about how it's come to pass. 

Except, it's too real so I can't suppress my urge to vomit. 

Srrrk, the white kimono moves. 

Ryougi is planning to leave the room. 

"If your curiosity is satisfied let's go. We have no more business here." 

"... No more business, what! There are people --- I'm, lying dead here." 

"What nonsense are you spouting. Hey, pay attention now. There's not one drop of blood. When morning comes around they will open their eyes. This is a 「loop」where they are born in the morning and die at night. The one lying over there isn't Enjoh. The one who is alive like this is you." 

Ryougi's words woke me up and I looked around the terrible scene. 

... Really, although there was such an awful event there is not one drop of blood. 

"Hu, how ---." 

"I don't know. I don't know why anyone would do something like this. Anyway we are done here. Now, let's go to the next one." 

Tocktock, Ryougi walks out. 

Unable to stand it, I ask her back. 

"What do you mean the next one --- Where are you going now, Ryougi!" 

"Isn't it obvious? To your real house, Enjoh." 

To make it a clean break --- Ryougi tells me as if to drive out the ghost called confusion that has covered me. 

*** 

When we returned to the central lobby, Ryougi did not get on the elevator but instead went around the back of it. The back of the elevator... To the north is the corridor leading to the West building. 

The East and West buildings have the same structure. 

By the (unspoken rule? personality?) of this mansion, the people of the East building did not go into the West building. I lived here for half a year, but I only realised this obvious fact now. 

We walk through the connecting corridor. 

The time is past 10 o'clock, and the wind was cold enough to bite the skin. 

Winter darkness, where the moonlight was the only thing we could depend on. 

Ryougi charges confidently along that uninhabited corridor. Number 6, number 7, number 8, number 9. ... When she got to number 10 which lies at a dead end, she stopped. 

"What I thought was a bit strange, to tell the truth it was a small thing." 

Suddenly, while glaring at the door Ryougi starts telling a story. 

"You said you were in number 405 didn't you? But Mikiya said your name last. A meticulous guy like him wouldn't have changed the order for no reason. In that case, it would be weird if the Enjoh family weren't in the last room of the fourth floor, namely number 410." 

"--- What?" 

"That elevator didn't work for a while did it? It only began moving about the time the resident had moved in and started to get used to the mansion. That was the signal for everything to begin. It was a mechanism to reverse North and South. The reason the elevator is round, and has such a loud running noise, it's all one great disguise. That's also the reason the second floor isn't used. They would have needed at least one floor's worth of room to half-turn the people inside without them noticing." 

North and South --- get reversed. ... ? 

Is she saying there really is such a childish toy-like mechanism. But what would I do if there was? 

The corridor that faces you as you get off the elevator leads to the East building. That fact is so obvious that it's unthinkable to suspect it. 

In that case --- if you didn't notice that the elevator had turned 180 degrees, going down the corridor that faces you when you get off the elevator is the normal thing to do. 

Supposing that the elevator really had turned without you noticing it so that South had become North, then that would mean that all this time I've been heading to the West building. The structure of this lobby's Northern and Southern end are exactly the same. The corridors that lead to each building both turn to the left at a right angle as well, so there's no way you could notice anything was wrong. 

"Then --- are you saying that this is my house?" 

"Yeah. To be precise, the house you were in for a month after you came in. After the elevator started working it would have been that place from before. Without a doubt they would have skewed the stairs around to match the operation of the elevator too. It wouldn't make sense if they didn't reverse the staircase exits too. The stairs in this place, they are a spiral aren't they?" 

Ahh, they really are. I can't even give her a nod. 

"But that must be a lie. You would normally notice something like this!" 

I rebutted because I didn't want to accept it all, but as expected Ryougi negated my statement while keeping up that unworried pose of hers. 

"This place isn't normal. It's a twisted dimension. The surroundings are full of boxy mansions so there's not much difference in the view, and walls cut off the inside of the mansion. There are suspicious patterns embedded into the cream coloured walls here and there, they are putting an unconscious burden upon the retina. --- It's not Touko's. But this is one meticulous ward. There aren't any small abnormalities, so you can't perceive the great abnormality." 

Ryougi puts a hand upon the door handle. 

"I'm opening it. Enjoh, you are coming home for the first time in half a year." 

Ryougi says that as if she's happy. 

I --- had a thought that we shouldn't open that door. 

*** 

Inside number 10, was a sticky darkness. 

There's nothing but darkness. 

Clickclickclick. 

Inside my ears I can hear a noise like that. 

My, joints, are heavy. 

"The light --- is it this one?" 

In the darkness I can hear Ryougi's voice. 

Click, the light comes on. 

"----------" I swallow my breath. 

But, I wasn't surprised. Since I knew that was there ages ago. 

"It's been about half a year since they died huh," Ryougi's steady voice. 

It would be about that long. 

There are two human corpses in the lounge that we entered. 

Dirty skeletons and a lightly attached skin-like substance. The watery, rotting flesh is lying piled on the floor, so it's become a rubbish heap that you can't know the contents of. 

Enjoh Takauchi and Enjoh Kaede --- the corpses of my mother and father. 

The corpses of the parents I killed one month ago, all because I didn't want to see the nightmare of my murder anymore. But the corpses are from half a year ago. And then there's the Enjoh family in the East building who are still alive ---. 

I can no longer think on the paradox those things represent. 

Like Ryougi who is just standing there blankly, I'm not surprised, and am looking down at the corpses with a blank mind as if I'm looking at the sand in a hourglass fall. 

The scene from before --- compared to the playback of the nightmare I saw every night, a finished corpse like this is merely disgusting. There isn't even much of a shock. 

Human corpses that were done away with a long time ago. 

A pile of bones, from which it is no longer possible to distinguish who was who. 

The part that housed the eyes are now dark, cave-like holes, staring into the air. 

... There's no worth to this. Dying so pointlessly, without any recompense, these people who died like idiots are my parents. 

Unable to stand the persecution from those around her, as well as being unable to deny her husband who stubbornly insisted that it wasn't his fault, finally driven to murder my father by the suffering that was repeated everyday, my mother who died in the end as well. 

"---." 

That's all there is, but, I can't take my eyes off it. 

What is this. 

What's happened to me. 

--- Saying that I didn't need my father or my mother. 

It's just that those people I so loathed are dead, so why have I become like some wooden doll --- ? 

At that moment, the sound of an opening door came from the entrance. 

"Hou, are they saying they want to go for it?" 

Ryougi spoke as if smiling and pulls a knife out from inside her jumper. 

Someone slowly came into the lounge. 

The lightly treading shadow that appeared without making a sound, it was a middle-aged man who would have belonged anywhere. His blank face and empty eyes paradoxically let us sense that this is a dangerous person. 

That man who I thought I had seen somewhere tried to attack us straight away. Like some puppet being controlled by its strings, without any warning. 

But Ryougi easily kills him. 

One person. Two people. Three people. Four people. She kills the mansion residents who are flooding in through the front door with an easy grace that makes it look like she is dancing. There were no useless motions in that dance. 

Before long the lounge was full of corpses. 

Ryougi grabs my hand and starts running. 

"It's not good to be in this place for long, let's go." 

Ryougi is Ryougi. 

I --- had become a little unsteady after seeing my parents' corpses, but even then I couldn't forgive this situation. 

Why --- why is this brat killing people for no reason? 

"Ryougi, you --- !" 

"Let's talk later. By the way, those things aren't human. Even I can't tell how many times they've died. Things like those, they aren't humans or even corpses but mere dolls. This one and that one, they all want to die so I'm feeling sick." 

For the first time --- With a face full of hatred Ryougi runs. 

I hesitated for a second, then stepped over the corpses of the crowd Ryougi had murdered and came out into the corridor. 

When I came out to the corridor, there were already five or so people on the ground. In the time that I spent looking from one to another, Ryougi was cutting down a somethingeth human in front of number 8. 

--- Strong. 

It's overwhelming. For some reason these don't seem like they came from the east building, but they don't move slowly like the zombies you see in movies. With a human-like quickness they leap towards us. 

Regardless, Ryougi doesn't bat an eyelash and easily takes care of them. Is they reason they aren't bleeding because they aren't human, like Ryougi said? 

Killing people without spilling a drop of blood, Ryougi looked like a white god of death as she opened a path to the central lobby. 

I look towards the end of the pack of people Ryougi is cutting down. 

The light of a lamp leaks out from the lobby. In the lightless West building's lobby a black shadow stands with his back to the corridor entrance from which the light is coming. 

It's different from these will-less residents. 

That mass that I almost mistook for a black monolith, it was a man in a black coat. 

The moment I saw that, my consciousness froze and I became unable to move a finger like some puppet whose strings had been cut. 

I shouldn't have seen him. No, that's wrong. I shouldn't have come to this place. In that case I wouldn't have met him. 

I wouldn't have met that thing that fitted in so well with this quiet and terrible event, that devil-like black shadow ---.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 06

2009-04-14T07:19:07Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/6 Spiral Paradox''' 

One night has passed, and it is now noon on the eighth of November. 

The cloudy sky is no different from yesterday, so the lightless office was dark like an abandoned ruin. 

This office is too big for just two people, me and Touko-san, to use. There are enough desks for ten people, and there's a sofa to receive clients too. With a floor of concrete as bare as it was on the day it was poured, and walls that haven't even been papered over, it's not much, but nevertheless, if the numbers were met it would look like a proper workplace. 

But, at this moment, there are only three people here including me. 

Touko-san cannot be seen at the chief's desk beside the window. The medicine she took yesterday must have been effective, because as soon as she woke to find the cold had gone she went out somewhere. 

Inside this office without a director, I was ordering materials with which to decorate the hall where the art exhibition would be starting next month while comparing prices and doing other such things. While holding Touko-san's specifications in one hand, I was doing this in order to obtain the materials needed for her craft at low prices. That person is the type to say, 'It's all right as long as I make it', so she doesn't put in this kind of annoying and bothersome effort. The result is that as her employee, I can't help but do it for her. 

Peering at the list of material suppliers, I ring up this place for that and negotiate, then I move onto yet another shop. Apart from me, who can't decide whether I'm busy or just dedicated, there are two other people here. 

One is the kimono girl sitting blankly on the guest sofa. Needless to say, it's Ryougi Shiki, and while it's not as if she is doing anything, she is sitting there in a polite manner. 

The other person is sitting facing me at the desk furthest away from my own, doing... something. A schoolgirl in a black uniform. The girl with the long hair which is the polar opposite of Shiki's slung over her back, she's called Kokutou Azaka. 

Needless to say, the fact that our last names are the same means we are blood relatives, and as my little sister, Azaka is a first-year high school student. She has a weak constitution, so she was given over to a relative’s house around the time she was ten, for the reason that the city air was not good for her body; after that, we only met a few times. I think the last time I saw her was New Year's Day the year I entered high school. At the time she was still a child, but when I saw the Azaka who returned this summer, I was quite surprised. The little sister I faced for the first time in ages had grown into a lady with such a noble air about her as to make me wonder if her genes came from our family. 

As expected, I think that with just a change of environment from the house where one was born, that thing called a human grows up beautifully. 

Her actions have become spirited, too, so there's no trace of her former frailty. The fact that I wasn't with her during that period of growth from the age of ten to fifteen might be a factor, but for a while I couldn't accept the fact that this girl was my little sister Azaka. 

I steal a glance at Azaka, sitting at the far-off desk. 

With a number of books thicker than a dictionary stacked up beside her, she is studiously and quietly copying down the contents. ... It's the study material Touko-san left for Azaka as she went out. 

The heavy conversation yesterday with Touko-san put me in a gloomy mood as well, but my current greatest worry might be this. 

"Nii-san. I'm going to become Touko-san's apprentice." 

Whatever she was thinking, one month ago Azaka said such a thing. Of course I protested, but my little sister was determined and would not listen to my opinion. 

...Ah, geez. Why does a weird thing like a magician have to come out of an exceedingly normal family like ours? 

"Azaka." 

The phone orders put aside for now, I called to my little sister who was sitting in front of me. 

Azaka finishes writing the sentence she was copying, and then with her black hair rippling about her head, raised her face towards me. Her eyes which are calm and dignified in spite of being full of a proud temper politely look this way as if asking, 'what is it?'. 

"I know that it's a holiday since it's your school's foundation day. But even so, is it okay for you to be in a place like this?" 

"Nii-san, please visit the house once in a while. There was a fire in the school dormitory, so right now it's in ruins. Mother knows that there was a request from the school for students with homes nearby to leave the dormitories if possible for now." 

With eyes and a voice that remind me of the school president from my high school days, she knocks aside my question. 

"A fire --- one big enough for the whole dorm to burn?" 

"Only on the east wing. Half of the first and second year dorms were burnt to ashes. Although it didn't appear on the news because the school hushed it up." 

Azaka says something shocking in a firm tone. 

A fire breaking out at a famous girls' school like Reien is definitely something that could turn into a scandal, regardless of the truth behind the matter. However, if we are talking about Reien, which takes pride in the affection its powerful alumnae feel for the school, they might be able to take care of a fire in secret. 

But for a fire to occur at a school dormitory, it's a horrible thought. It's also easy to imagine from what Azaka said it that it was arson --- by a student, at that. 

“--- Nii-san. You aren’t getting any strange ideas, are you?” 

Azaka glares at me as if she read my mind. 

... Because of that event over the summer, my little sister doesn't like Kokutou Mikiya sticking his head into suspicious events. A silent argument always occurs following a conversation like this, so I decided to try and change the Subject. 

"That aside. What are you doing right now?” 

“It's nothing to do with you, Nii-san.” 

As if she knows what I want to say, Azaka's reply is chilly. 

"It does have something to do with me. I mean, my sister wants to be a wizard! What am I supposed to say to Father?" 

"Oh, you are planning to drop by the house?” 

… Ugh. Little rascal, she knows perfectly well that our parents and I cut our ties after we argued. 

“Speaking of which, Nii-san. A wizard and a mage are different things. How can you not know about that when you work for Touko-san?” 

Now that I think about it, Touko-san does sometimes say something like that. Something along the lines of how it's convenient to advertise yourself as a wizard rather than a magician as it presents the kind of image that you want, but that those are the titles of two completely different things, or something like that. 

“Ah, I did hear that before. But there wasn't much difference that I could see. They both use suspicious magic.” 

“Magic and sorcery are different. 
The art we call sorcery, it's definitely something outside our everyday reality. In the end, though, it's still nothing more than making something that is possible normally happen under extraordinary circumstances. Should I give you an example?” 

Azaka walked over to Touko-san's desk, then picked up a letter opener that was lying there. A piece of silverware of excellent craftsmanship, it's one of Touko-san’s most frequently handled items. 

Taking out an unneeded document, Azaka writes something on it with the knife. Suddenly --- spewing thick clouds of smoke, the document begins to burn away. 

“….” 

Unable to speak, I just stared at the scene. Touko-san had done something of the like (although on a larger scale) before, but I didn't know what to say at seeing my little sister do that sort of thing. 

“--- Stop that. That, is there some kind of trick to it?” 

“Of course there is. It might look amazing to someone who didn't know about it, but it's really nothing special. What I did just now doesn’t even qualify as an ability. If you are going to set something on fire, a disposable lighter will do the trick. Whether you do it with a lighter or a finger, the fact that you are setting an object on fire is the same. That kind of thing, it's not miraculous at all, is it? Do you understand, Nii-san? Sorcery is like that.” 

Azaka continues on confidently. 

In short, magic seems to be equivalent to a substitute good for civilization. No, from what Azaka said, it may be more accurate to say it has been overtaken by civilization.

“Take making it rain, for example. Whether it's through science or magic, the result is indistinguishable. It's just that the method is different; the amount of effort that goes into it is nearly the same. Sorcery may appear to be the work of an instant, but the preparatory steps required are extensive. If you take the time and money spent, it’s nearly equivalent to making the rainclouds with science. In the past, that really was something close to a miracle. By today's standards, however, it's not a miracle or anything of the sort. Previously, any mage that could turn a whole village to ashes was hailed as a wizard, but these days if you have money, that's something anyone can do. All that is required is to throw one missile.”

That method would actually be much faster and more effective, Azaka adds. 

'''TN: Next paragraph was VERY weird so translation was a bit difficult, I'll rework it when I do the final version.'''

“Sorcery is nothing more than making possible through your own strength what can be done now after spending a mind-boggling amount of time on the problem. It might be so even if you look at it academically. Rather than looking/thinking for decades in order to obtain the truth, it might be faster to go to the moon and look/think there. It's frustrating, but sorcery is of the 'taboo ritual'(秘儀禁忌) type, so it cannot achieve miracles.  --- A miracle is something beyond the powers of humanity, isn't it? Something currently unachievable in this world no matter how much money you throw at it. The ones who can make those things are called wizards, and their art, magic.” 

Something humans can't do yet. That is magic, is what Azaka said. 

“Then, wouldn't there have been more wizards than mages in the past? Since people in those days wouldn’t have had lighters or missiles.” 

"You are right. That is why a wizard was a feared figure in the past, and why being one could even be called a job. These days, though, it's different, isn't it? Strictly speaking, they aren't needed, the things called mages. These days, magic itself is disappearing. After all, you can count on your fingers the number of things that are impossible for humanity, can't you? Whatever the case, they say that there are only about five wizards in the world today." 

... Sure enough. With those meanings there would be a difference between mages and wizards. If we are talking about things that humanity can't do currently, the only things would be the control of time and space. Seeing the future or the past isn't reliable, but this is a time when such things are becoming possible, so impossibilities really are able to be counted on one hand. 

Someday --- humanity will eliminate the very existence of magic. Kind of like how a child, who became a scientist because he was intrigued by a number of events he thought miraculous, loses that sense of wonder as he comes to think of those events as simple phenomena in the course of his research. 

"Hmm. In that case, wouldn't the last magic be something like the power to make everyone happy?" 

Umm. I can't say I know much about all this. 

"----." 

For some reason, Azaka has shut herself up. 

She appeared to look this way, with a face as if she was looking at something unexpected, but suddenly turns away. 

"... Magic is something that can't be reached. And I never wanted to be a wizard. Learning sorcery is just for the purpose of achieving my goals." 

"Really? So magic is out, but if it's sorcery you will learn it? That sounds like what you just said, Azaka." 

When I summed up the talk by coming to that conclusion, Azaka shakes her head, and says no. 

"What have you been listening to, Nii-san? 

Sorcery was magic too, in the past. All that happened was that humanity caught up to it, so its learning and use has become possible with effort. 

... It's frustrating, but I don't have any built-up history like a mage's family heritage. Those people we call mages are families who build up their blood and history. The first of them would have been simple academics too. The mysteries that they have learned, and the strength they built up, they pass those on to the next generation. Their descendants continue their work, and pass it on to their own descendants. --- In this way, they repeat an endless cycle as they try to approach the bounds of magic. Touko-san seems to be the sixth generation, but apparently the third generation heir of their family was an incredible genius and discovered some amazing things. I think Touko-san's gifts are a result of carrying that thick blood as well. People like me who are just starting to learn magic now can't become mages that easily." 

"Hmm. Sounds like you are going to find it tough, for many reasons." 

Mmm, I suddenly understood something. 

Thick blood --- the power of your bloodline. 

That's true for any family. To us it may be our many relatives, or the wealth you have inherited. 

But, in the end, that --- 

"Oii, then what are you doing? Ours is a normal family. Never mind magic, we've never even dipped into Buddhism. Wouldn't it be that we can't learn things like magic?" 

"That's correct, but apparently we have the potential. According to Sensei, the delicacy shown when I ignite something isn't very common." 

Azaka speaks as if she's sulking. 

... Ah, geez, what good is being able to set things on fire going to do her? It could even be that this brat was the one responsible for the fire in the student dormitory. 

"Hey, you said it yourself that an ability that ends with one generation is useless. Then whatever you do is pointless. Even if you try to become a mage instead of a wizard, it will end up no different in the end. If you don't come back to a normal path quickly, you won't even be able to find a job." 

It's hard finding jobs these days as it is. 

Azaka immediately tried to refute that statement. 

Before that could happen --- an even more offensive piece of dialogue came leaping into the office with the sound of footsteps. 

"No, getting a job won't be a problem. With that level of skill at her age, in just two years' time she'll be getting offers left and right. She could even be hired as a first-class curator." 

With a loud whuffing noise, the door opens and Touko-san enters the room. 

<center>* * *</center>

Having shed her cold, Touko-san walks over to the chief's desk so briskly that you wonder if she was ever sick. 

Sitting down after hanging her coat on the chair, she looked at her desk and frowned. Probably because the location of the letter opener was different from before. 

"Azaka, I told you not to use someone else's things. A person becomes dull if they rely upon tools. I suppose it was because you didn't want to fail in front of Kokutou, right?" 

"--- yes, you are right." 

Upon being reprimanded by Touko-san, Azaka replies clearly even as her cheeks become red with embarrassment. ... It's those things about her that deserve to be admired, even if she is my little sister. 

"Well, you were having a pretty interesting talk. Weren't you disinterested in sorcery before, Kokutou?" 

"Of course I was, but... Oh, by the way, Touko-san. Do you remember yesterday?" 

"Eh?" Having taken off her glasses, Touko-san cocks her head in confusion. 

...That already mysterious conversation from last night, the one who began it doesn't remember talking about it. 

Touko-san pulls out a cigarette and takes a puff as she holds it in her mouth. 

"Anyway, Azaka. Why are you telling such things to Kokutou? Concealment and secrecy are the greatest prerequisites for sorcery. ... Although, I suppose there wouldn't be any problems if the person you are talking to is Kokutou." 

"What's okay if it's me?" 

"You won't understand even if we tell you. There's no reason for the secret to escape either. Since you are the type that knows how to choose the topic depending on the person. You wouldn't talk about that kind of thing with a normal human." 

"That may be so, but --- Is it really not good for a sorcerer to be exposed to others?" 

"Indeed, it's bad. Although it wouldn't really matter socially, the power of your sorcery falls. Do you know the origin of the word 'mystery', Kokutou?" 

Touko-san asked that as she brought her body forward on the desk. 

"When you say mystery, do you mean the sort of mystery in mystery novels?" 

"In a way. Not the detective novel sort, but mystery in the mystical sense." 

"Yeah, I do. It's originally Greek, not English." 

"... Well, that's true. In Greek it means to close something. Signifying stagnation, concealment, and self-completion. You see, a mystery has meaning in the fact that it is a mystery. Keeping it hidden is a nature of the technique. A sorcery that has had its nature revealed can't become a mystery, no matter what kind of supernatural methods it uses. It's nothing more than another method. Once that happens, that sorcery instantly becomes weaker. 

Sorcery was originally magic too. In short, there was no question that the strength was pulled out from the origin that was its source. Should we imagine for a moment that there was something along the lines of a 'mystery that makes you rich'? Let's say that this has a strength of 10. If only one person knows it, they can use the entire force of 10 of its power. But if two people know it, that it gets halved into two units of 5 and gets used like that. See, it's gotten weaker, hasn't it? The way of expressing it may be different, but I think that this is a fundamental rule in regards to everything in this universe." 

I can't understand all of what Touko-san is saying, but I think I get the point she is trying to convey. 

If concealment and obscurement is the law of existence that thing called sorcery exists by, I understand why mages would be reluctant to reveal their sorcery in front of others. 

"In that case, you must do as you please where others can't see you, Touko-san." 

"Nope, I don't." 

Zkk, Touko-san started talking as she stubbed out the cigarette in her ashtray. 

"I wouldn't have a choice in a battle between mages, but otherwise I don't use it even if I'm alone. The only time I use sorcerous techniques is when it's required for a ritual, or in a ceremony in order to proceed to the next level. 

Some time around the medieval era or so, an organization called the Association was formed. Because of their excessive regulation of sorcery, the Association foresaw the degeneration of mages. So they took the power of their organization and turned sorcery itself into something that is never revealed. What they did was to take a mystery that was visible and turn it into a mystery that no one knew about. As a result, mystery began to disappear from society. 

In order to strictly enforce this, the Association made some pretty byzantine rules. 

For example, if a mage pulls a civilian into a magical phenomenon, the association will dispatch an assassin to kill that mage. This is done to destroy the entity that is harming the larger community of mages. ... That's probably where the myth that a mage that reveals himself to people loses his power came from. 

The Association tried to stop the degeneration of sorcery by reinforcing the attribute of concealment, and as a result, those mages that belonged to the Association came to not throw their sorcery around with abandon. 

There were mages who resented those restrictions and retreated into the countryside, but the Association holds enormous amounts of academic works and lands. Most of what a mage requires to live as a mage is monopolized by the Association. To not belong to the Association was to be the same as being the outcast in a village. If you wanted to do an experiment, all the territories where the node lines met were owned by the Association, and if you tried to learn sorcery, you couldn't obtain any texts, so you couldn't learn anything. Therefore, a mage who was not a member of the Association could not practice sorcery even if they wanted to. That's the power of a multitude. In that respect, it's very impressive." 

"Uh, Touko-san. In that case, does that mean I would have to join the Association too...?" 

Azaka's hesitantly interrupting voice somehow held a note of unease. 

"You don't have to, but doing so would be more convenient. It's not as if you can't come out once you go in. You are free to leave that place when you wish. Since they regard the fact that they aren't rulers very seriously." 

"But in that case there's no meaning to their extraordinary levels of concealment. Sorcery would spread if those who have learned magic enter the outside world." 

Upon hearing Azaka's reasonable opinion, Touko-san goes, Ahhh, and nods. 

"That's true. Actually, there are a lot of people who plan to study at the Association and gain power, then leave for the countryside. Such thoughts tend to disappear after about ten years, though. Because the Association is the optimal environment for leaning sorcery. To go down to the countryside when everything a mage needs is already around you, no one does that kind of stupid thing '''(TN: Lol. Look who's talking, although I suppose most mages don't have seal orders upon their persons)'''. Studying sorcery is the foremost objective of a mage. They don't think about using their power and the things they've learned. If they have that kind of time to spare, they use it to approach an even higher level of mystery. But since Azaka has a fundamentally different objective from us, you don't need to worry about being infected with the Association's poison even if you decide to join. If you are interested in reaching higher levels, it's a place that might be worth looking into." 

Azaka knits her eyebrows together as if that's troublesome. In the end, it appears as though Azaka herself has no interest it doing something like that. To me, who doesn't like the idea of his little sister studying abroad in a suspicious place like that, Azaka's pondering comes as a welcome relief. 

"... I'll just ask one thing. What do you mean when you say that secrets are kept even within that Association?" 

Unexpectedly, I hear something from the sofa. 

Over there is Shiki, who has been sitting there since before without a word. She's the type of person who doesn't get involved in a conversation that she's not interested in, so until now she had been staring at the scenery outside the window. 

"--- There is that. A mage won't reveal the results of his experiments even within the Association. What the person next to them is researching, what their goals are, and what they have obtained are all a mystery. The only time a mage will reveal the results of their work is when they are passing it on to their descendants just before they die." 

"Studying for their benefit alone, yet not using that power for their own sake? What purpose is there in a life like that, Touko? Is it that the goal is to learn, and the process is to learn too? If the only things you have are the beginning and the end, that's the same as having a zero." 

... As usual, Shiki talks like a guy with that fine and clear feminine voice of hers. 

Touko-san appeared to have a faint bitter smile on her face, as if Shiki's biting remarks had hit a nerve somewhere. 

"There is a goal. However, what you said is correct too. A mage is pursuing a zero. His life is pointing towards something that never existed in the first place. 

A mage's ultimate goal, you see, is to reach the 'maelstrom of origins'. It's also called the Akashic Record, but it may be better to just regard the edge of the maelstrom as having such properties attached to it. 

The thing called the maelstrom of origins, it is probably the birthplace of everything. All phenomena flow out from it. If you know the origin, the results are naturally produced. To describe it as it is, you could say that it is the 'perfect knowledge'. By creating a standard like perfection or the like, we are ultimately limiting the concept, so even that description is incorrect. But since that the easiest way of defining it, the name stuck. 

Essentially, all the branches of magic that have spread throughout this world are nothing more than one branch of a small river flowing out from this maelstrom. This is the reason that every country has their own traditions and legends. The core is the same, but what decorates the exterior is the background of the one who understood that 'river'. Astrology, alchemy, kabbala, spiritualism, rune, the innumerable researchers. Their origins are the same, so in the end they hold the same final destination in mind. Because, they who have touched the tip of the stream that split off from the maelstrom of origins called magic, they have imagined what lay before --- the shape of the beginning. 

To reach the truth is the ultimate goal of all mages. They don't have any desire for petty things like the meaning of life. All they want is to know the shape of pure truth. They are that collective of people. Those who abandon self in order that they may gaze upon their souls --- the multitude who can never be rewarded for their efforts. The world calls them mages." 

Speaking with a clear voice, Touko-san's gaze is sharper than ever. Her amber eyes flicker as if they are on fire. 

... That may be so, but unfortunately, I can't understand even half of what was just said. 

I only understood one thing from that speech, so I decided to ask her about it. 

"Uh, can I ask something? If there is an objective, wouldn't studying have a meaning as well? Not being able to be compensated ...., Uhm, is it like that? No one has managed to reach it, have they?" 

"Someone did. We know that it exists because somebody managed to get there. Those magics that still exist today are things left behind by the ones who got there. 

But --- Those ones who got to that side never came back. Mages who were great enough to leave their names behind in history were lost at the very moment they got to that point. Whether that place is such a wonderful world, or if it's a world you cannot escape once you get to it. Those are things no one knows. Without getting there themselves, that is. However, reaching it with the efforts of one generation is impossible. The reason mages shed blood during their research, and pass the results of their work to their descendants, is to amplify their magic power. It's nothing but a way of creating a descendant who can reach the maelstrom of origins. You see, many generations of mages have already dreamed of the maelstrom of origins, died, and passed on their work to their children, who in turn added to it and passed it onto their children. There's no end to it. They can never be compensated for it, either. Even if a family that has reached that point were to appear, it would probably be impossible --- because there are meddlers." 

In contrast with her words, which suggest hatred, Touko-san lets loose a dry laugh. In a manner that makes it seems that she thinks it good that there is such a meddler in this world. 

"Well, what I am saying is that it is simply not possible no matter which side you are on. Today's mages can't reach the maelstrom and impose a new system --- a new branch of magic." 

Touko-san says this with a shrug, as if saying 'that's the end of this long story'. 

With that Azaka and I were unable to say anything, but Shiki alone points out the contradiction in Touko-san's story. 

"What strange people. Why do you people continue, even though you know it's beyond you?" 

"Who knows? Maybe all those people who call themselves 'mages' are those who were born without the ability to grasp the concept of 'impossible', or idiots who can't give up." 

Touko-san cleanly acknowledges the statement with a shrug. 

Seeing that, Shiki went, 'What, you already knew', as if she was surprised.

<center>* * *</center>

When an hour or so had passed after the end of the conversation, the office had regained its usual tranquility. 

It was getting to be about three in the afternoon, so as a break from work I brewed some coffee for everyone in the room. After getting some Japanese tea for Azaka, I sat back down at my desk. 

As for my work, the overall schedule was set, and my paycheck for the month looked to be safe. The thought relaxed me as I drank the coffee. 

The sound of people sipping tea could be heard echoing through the quiet office. 

Suddenly, as if she was trying to break the peaceful silence permeating the room, Azaka aimed a preposterous question at Shiki. 

"--- Excuse me. Shiki-san is a guy, isn't he?" 

... Enough to almost make me drop my cup, that was truly a hellish question. 

"---." 

That was true for Shiki, too. Taking her lips off the cup of coffee in her hands, she makes a face which suggests she is offended, but at a loss for words at the same time. In her current state, she has no rebuttal for my idiotic little sister. 

Seeing that as a sign of victory, Azaka continues. 

"Since you aren't denying it, you must be acknowledging the fact. You are definitely a guy, Shiki-san." 

"Azaka!" 

Dear lord. Unable to contain myself, I ended up jumping in. 

These kind of questions need to be ignored, but in this particular case I wasn't in my right mind. 

I got up confidently enough, but no suitable words come to mind. Without another word, I sat down again. ... I felt like a soldier from some defeated army. 

"Don't fuss over unimportant details, you." 

In a very angry voice, Shiki gives Azaka a reply. Seeing as how she's rubbing her temple with one hand, it could be that she's trying contain her temper. 

"Really? But this is a very important matter." 

Like Shiki, who is always outwardly cool, Azaka responds coolly as well. With her elbows upon the desk and her fingers laced, Azaka's appearance is that of a chairman conducting a meeting. 

"An important matter, you say. There's not much difference whether I'm a boy or a girl. It doesn't have anything to do with you, Azaka. Or are you trying to pick a fight with me?" 

"Something like that would have been decided from our very first meeting."

It feels like the two are glaring at each other, even though neither is looking at the other person. 

... As for me, I would like to know what had been decided, but this isn't the sort of mood in which I should ask that question. 

"... Azaka. I don't know why you feel you must bring this up again after all this time, but in the hopes that it will be the last time I will say it again. Shiki is a girl, definitely." 

First, I just said that. 

That one statement, which could be wrapped around Azaka's rudeness while restraining Shiki's displeasure - for some reason, it felt like it scraped their nerves even rawer than before. 

"I know something like that. Keep quiet for a second, Nii-san." 

If you know, then why are you asking, you?!

"What I want to ask isn't her physical sex. All I want to confirm is what side her psychological sex leans towards. Although, superficially at least, Shiki-san seems like a man." 

Stressing the word 'seems', Azaka looks at Shiki out of the corner of her eyes. 

Shiki gets more and more disgruntled. 

"If my body's a girl's, it doesn't matter what side my personality is. What will you do if I am a guy, brat?" 

"I wonder, do you want me to introduce you to a girl from Reien?" 

--- Ah. 

Hearing Azaka's words that are no longer dancing around the issue and have become a straight-out challenge, I finally understood. 

That Azaka, is she still not letting go of what happened on that night two years ago? 

The Chinese New Year during my first year of high school. There was a time when I invited Shiki over to my house as we went home after visiting the temple together. Azaka had been at home for once for the winter holidays, and being confronted with Shiki, she fell into a mildly shocked state. That wasn't unexpected, either. At the time, Shiki still had another personality called SHIKI. Coming face to face with Shiki's voice and way of acting, which had been even closer to the picture of a healthy young man, Azaka had fallen ill for a whole day. 

Even so, she had gone too far just now. I can't help her even if she gets beaten up by Shiki. 

"You know, Azaka..." 

At exactly the same time as I stood up again to glare at Azaka, Shiki got up from the sofa. 

"I'll pass. Those Reien bitches, there's not a proper one among them." 

Hn, Shiki snorted, and then she just left the office. 

The navy kimono swishes as it disappears from my field of vision. 

I thought about running after her, but that could all too easily have the effect of pouring oil upon the fire of Shiki's displeasure instead. 

Thanking the gods for the miracle that nothing had happened, I sat down and drained the now-cool coffee in one shot. 

"Pity. In the end, I may have taken a blow instead." 

Tch. Clicking her tongue, Azaka loosens her posture, stretching her arms as she leans her body on the backrest of her chair, as if she had been in a ready-to-fight state until now as well. 

... I've always thought this, but why does Azaka's personality take a turn for the worse whenever she talks with Shiki? 

This time, though, I feel that I can't let things pass without saying something to her. 

"Azaka. What was that just now?" 

"What do you mean, what? It's all because the relationship between Nii-san and Shiki-san isn't clear. Haven't you ever had any thoughts like that? Whether Ryougi Shiki is befriending Nii-san as a girl, or as a guy?" 

While her manner of speech is stern, Azaka's blushing as she talks. Because of that imbalance, I realised the point my little sister was trying to make. 

"Azaka, we call that an idiot's conjecture. Whether Shiki is a girl or a boy, it's not something for us to use as a conversation topic. And furthermore, Shiki is originally a girl, so even if her way of thinking is that of a guy, it doesn't make much difference, does it?" 

Azaka narrows her eyes and glares at me. 

"--- Okay then. So what Nii-san is saying is that as long as she's a girl there aren't any real problems. In other words, you think that relationships between the same sex are wrong. In that case, answer me this. 

Let's say that here we have a man who has become a woman through a sex change and a woman who has become a man by the same method. In the event that both these people truly love Nii-san, who would you choose? The one whose appearance is that of a woman but is really a man inside, or the one whose body is that of a man but whose mind is a woman's? Now, give me an answer." 

...Azaka's question is... difficult. 

The more you think about it, the more it becomes evident that it is a situation in which you cannot choose either side. 

If you just think about it casually, of course you would choose the person whose sex is female over the one who was originally a woman but now has the body of a man. But that person's mind is still that of a man, so it leads on to mean that she likes Kokutou Mikiya as a man. 

I couldn't trivialize the matter to the point where I was able to think that a person's sex didn't matter in love. In that case, however, it means that I recognize men and women only by their outward appearance, so I start to feel that I'm an ugly person inside. On top of that, relationships between the same sex are prohibited from the beginning, so a situation in which a man loves Kokutou Mikiya as a man isn't acceptable either. Then the one I choose would be the one who likes me as a woman, but that person's sex is male --- Ahah, why do I have to hurt my head over a question like this?! 

... Wait a second. This, isn't there something paradoxical about it from the start? Although you don't accept a relationship between people of the same sex, either choice has the trap of being a same-sex relationship. 

When I realized that and lifted my head, Touko-san was holding in a laugh as if she found the whole matter amusing. 

"--- That's unfair, Azaka. This is the famous question in which「Truth and Lies co-exist」!"

"Yes, you are right. It's the famous Euphemenide's Paradox." 

"True, to Kokutou it's a source of a devastating paradox. You guys really don't let things get boring for me. Is the Kokutou family all like this, Azaka?" 

In stark contrast to the still laughing Touko-san, Azaka is looking this way with an earnest expression on her face. ... So that was it. This girl was worrying about me in her own fashion. In that case, since Shiki herself wasn't clear on the subject, I at least have to clearly state my opinion on the subject. 

"... Yeah, I think I understand what you're trying to say, Azaka. It's just that I don't particularly mind which way Shiki leans. Even if you were to say that Shiki was SHIKI, I don't think I would feel any different." 

When I said that while scratching my cheek to hide my embarrassment, Azaka got angry and jumped up from her seat. 

"--- So are you saying it's okay even if you are going out with SHIKI?" 

"... Uhm. Well, yeah." 

Suddenly, something bulky slammed into my face. 

"That's too filthy --- !" 

Dadadada, the sound of someone running out. 

By the time I thought, 'Ah, that book Azaka was reading until just now was what came flying', I was alone in the office with Touko-san. 

Shiki had left after getting angry with Azaka, and Azaka had just run out. 

As for me, I was glaring at Touko-san, who was still laughing as I gingerly felt my aching face. 

<center>* * *</center>

And so, two hours passed and the time came to go home. 

Neither Shiki nor Azaka came back, so I thought about dropping by Shiki's apartment while brewing the coffee that had become a ritual before leaving work. 

"Oh, that's right. Sorry Kokutou, but I need you to do some extra work for me." 

Those kind of worries disappear at the one statement Touko-san san throws my way as we drink the coffee. 

"Extra work? Did you take up some new task?" 

"No, it's not something related to that side. It isn't anything that will get you money. I went out this morning for this, you see, and I heard an interesting story from a detective that I'm indebted to. Kokutou, do you know about Kayamahama's Ogawa [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Mansion]]?" 

"By Kayamahama, you must mean that apartment complex that they built on the reclaimed land. The one they say is a futuristic model or something." 

"Yes, that one. Was it thirty minutes by subway from here? It's a neighborhood that uses land in a posh manner that's unthinkable to us living here in the city. Well, you see, back when they were developing that place, there was one mansion that I briefly checked out. It seems that there was an uncanny incident there. 

At about ten o'clock last night, an office worker in her twenties got mugged in the street. The victim was a woman, so it was probably a rape attempt. Unfortunately, the victim got stabbed with a knife. The criminal fled down the street, but the victim couldn't do that. The victim, who was stabbed in the abdomen didn't even have a cell phone. The crime scene was the apartment complex, too. Which meant there wasn't any reason to expect there to be any shops nearby, and if it's ten at night there are hardly any people going by. So as she bled out, she went into the nearest apartment to ask for help. 

But that apartment building's first and second floors weren't in use. They say that it's only from the third floor up that the mansion is inhabited. By the time the woman got to the third floor using the elevator, she knew her body had reached its limit. She screamed for someone to help her from that location for about ten minutes, but none of the apartment residents heard her, and at 11 PM she died." 

... It's a tragic story. 

These days, as apartment buildings get larger and larger, there is increasingly less contact between neighbors. Or rather, it seems that there is an unspoken rule in the city now that ignoring others is polite. 

I remember hearing a story similar to the one just now from a friend of mine. That one night, screams could be heard from the apartment a floor below, but not one person went to help, and when morning came they found that the child of that family had been killed by the parents. Apparently the other apartment residents had heard but ignored it, thinking that it was someone playing around. 

"The problem starts from there. They say that the victim’s cries for help could be heard even from the apartment building next door. Not screams, but the sound of a human asking for help. The people in the building next door say that they ignored it, thinking that since it was so loud, the people in that building would obviously run over to see what was wrong." 

"What? --- Are you saying that the people in that apartment building didn't know?" 

"Yeah, that's what they're saying. Without exception, they are all saying that it was a quiet night as usual. Well, if that was all, there wouldn't be anything too strange about it, but previously in that mansion there was one more case just like this one. I didn't hear many details, but that detective came asking for advice since there is something suspicious about something so weird happening twice." 

"... So, you are telling me to investigate the place, boss." 

"No, we will go to the actual location together. What you can do is find a real estate agent and get a list of residents so that you can quickly investigate where they all lived previously. Seeing as it's not something you can earn any money from, you can take your time. The deadline is December." 

Replying that I understood, I put my cup of coffee to my lips. 

... For some reason, I got the feeling that I was stepping into another weird situation. 

"But you know, Kokutou." 

"Yes?" 

"Are you... really fine if Shiki is a guy?" 

... If I was talking to Gakuto right now, I would have sprayed out the coffee I was holding in mouth without hesitation. 

"... Probably not. I do like Shiki, but if I were to express my desires, I prefer her as a girl." 

"Eh, what is that? So boring. In that case, there's no problem." 

What a disappointment, Touko-san shrugs, and lifts the cup of coffee to her mouth. 

... There's, no, problem? 

"Wait a minute. What do you mean by 'there's no problem'? That's something that ---." 

"Yeah. Shiki's definitely a girl mentally too. There's no way she wouldn't be a girl when the yang-aligned SHIKI's already disappeared." 

That's --- But, in that case, what's with that manner of speech of hers? Didn't the Shiki from before use a girl's way of talking? 

"Look here, the one that took the male as being the yang side and the female as the yin side in the first place is Shiki, wasn't it? In that case, the story's simple. The idea of yin and yang comes from the Taegukdo. Do you know about Korea's Taegeuk? It's a circle shape." 

'''TN: I have no idea what Taegukdo would be in English so if someone knows pm me with the English equivalent. Or post in the translation notes thread in the forums.'''

If you say a circle shape... She may be talking about that picture where you take a circle and divide it into two with a wavy line in the middle. That's not a simple half-moon shape, but a twisted half-circle that looks as if two souls are trying to grab each other's tails. If we were to describe it as a word the 'の' character is close to that nuance. 

"If you talk about a Taegeukdo, one half is white, the other half black. And whichever side you look at, there is a small hole of the other color punched into it. A black spot in the white whorl, a white spot in the black whorl. 

You understand right. The black side is the yin; in other words, the woman. This picture is one of halves that are intertwined yet incompatible --- A black and white paradigm." 

"An incompatible --- Paradigm?" 

Those words, I've heard them before. 

"Yeah. It would also be okay to call it yin-yang, light and darkness, right and wrong. It refers to a state where something derived from one original object has been split into two. This, in yin and yang terms, is sometimes known as Ryougi [両儀]." 

"--- Ryougi, that's -" 

"Correct, Shiki's family name. Her dual personality, it was something decided from the remote past. Did she obtain a dual personality because she was a member of the Ryougi family, or was it that they knew a Shiki would be born sometime and took the name Ryougi? It's probably the latter. 

The Ryougi clan is a dynasty, just like the Asagami and the Fujou clans. They are families who are trying to create humans who are beyond human, and used various methods to ensure the birth of an heir. All so that they could pass on their family's 'inheritance'. 

The Ryougi clan is especially interesting. They knew that if they had a supernatural ability, they would one day be destroyed by the civilized world. So they thought up a supernatural ability that would let them appear as normal human beings. --- Hey, Kokutou. Those people we call professionals, why is it that they can only reach the top in one area?" 

Caught off guard by the sudden question, I was unable to give her an answer. 

Today was a very long day, and the information coming into my head was exceeding my limits. On top of which --- To think that Ryougi was born into such a family, just why ---. 

"That's because no matter how perfect a body, or how high the amount of natural aptitude you are born with, you can only put one talent into one person. The higher you climb, the more you are restricted as to what other peaks you can go up, until in the end you cannot climb any others. 

The Ryougi clan solved that problem. By imbuing one body with a countless number of personalities. It's the same as a computer. If you put hundreds upon hundreds of pieces of software into one piece of hardware called Shiki, a professional in all areas is created. That's why their name is Shiki [式]. The Shiki [式] in Shikigami [式神]. The Shiki [式] when you talk about a numerical formula [數式]. A program that fulfils any task required of it perfectly. An empty doll that possesses countless numbers of identities, and can be modified by putting in another personality with different morals, thought patterns, even senses ---." 

Did Shiki already know this? 

...Ahah, she definitely knew. That's why she stubbornly avoided becoming friendlier. Accepting the fact that she wasn't an average person, the fact that she had not been born into a normal family, she had just been trying to live a quiet life ---. 

"This is a continuation on the subject of the Taegukdo, but the division of the chaotic「」into two is [両儀]. In order to further stabilise this, and in order to increase the number of classes available, they divide it into four phenomena [四象]. They then further increase the complexity by cutting it into eight trigrams [八卦]. Like this, they keep dividing by a base of two. This, too, could symbolise Shiki's ability. 

But that no longer exists. A bug appeared in the perfect program, you see. The Shiki you see now, well, there may be slight problems, but she is a perfectly normal human with self-awareness." 

Click. The lighter's flame springs up. 

At Touko-san's words, I'm going 'Eh?' and asking a question again. 

"Why are you making a face like that? The one that broke it was you. A mentally disturbed person, you see, doesn't break down because they don't even dream that they may be mentally disturbed. Shiki was like that before, too. Yeah, but a human called Kokutou Mikiya made her aware of the fact. That the existence of the one called Ryougi Shiki was strange. 

Ah --- That's right. If you were to say it was a rescue, you already saved Shiki two years ago, didn't you?" 

Here, and Touko-san pushed a cigarette at me. 

I don't smoke, but I accepted it and lit up. 

...The first cigarette of my whole life, it had a very indistinct taste. 

"Ugh, the point of the conversation got twisted. And I didn't really feel like talking about Shiki, either. Recently it seems like I keep feeling rushed. My lips are getting loose without me even realising it. Who knows? You might happen to die tomorrow, Kokutou." 

"--- That's a little scary coming from you, Touko-san. I'll be watching out for cars, then." 

"Yeah, that might be good. Anyway, about that Taeguekdo. 

I told you how each side in it has a spot right? The black in the white, the white in the black. They call this the yin in the yang, and the yang in the yin. 

In short, this is referring to those parts in a male that are feminine and those parts in a woman that are masculine. Saying that someone is yang-aligned just because they use a man's manner of speech is a rash judgement. No matter who it is, every human has some traits of the other sex. Men who like to dress up as women are a prominent example. There's no doubt in my mind that the Shiki right now is the yin-aligned Shiki. The reason she uses a masculine manner of speech is unconscious compensatory behaviour on her part to the dead SHIKI. Maybe because she wants for you at least to remember SHIKI. Kiki, isn't it so cute of her?" 

"---." 

... Ah, now that it's spelled out for me I understand. 

Shiki may talk like a guy now, but she never acts like a guy like she did two years ago. No matter how you look at it, her movements and actions are those of a girl. 

Having lost the half of her called SHIKI, she is still in a very weak and vulnerable state. 

Realizing that, I felt like my heart was being squeezed. 

The Shiki that came out of her sleep of two years was more stable than before, so I had been thinking she was okay. But Shiki was still lonely, no different from back then when it seemed like she could be hurt at any moment. 

I haven't changed either. Even today, I feel that I can't leave Shiki alone like that. 

... That's right. Although I couldn't do anything two years ago. 

If something were to happen again, then this time at least I must save her.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 07

2009-04-14T06:54:47Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/7 Spiral Paradox''' 

When I opened my eyes the next morning, it was getting past 9. 

I am totally late. 

When I arrived at the office holding a bundle too heavy to be called luggage, Touko-san and Shiki were waiting for me. 

"Sorry, I'm late." 

Only after I leaned the [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|shinai]] bag-shaped bundle against the wall did I sigh in relief. 

Breathing hard like I just ran a marathon I calm my breathing. 

The bundle isn't even 1 metre long but is heavy as if it were made of steel, so that while it didn't seem like a very bulky bundle when I left my house, my arm had gone numb after walking a hundred metres. 

While I limbered up the muscles in both my arms, Shiki came plodding over. 

"Oi. Hey Shiki, nice weather today." 

"Yeah, they say it will be fine for a while." 

Unusually, Shiki is wearing a white kimono as if she is going out somewhere today. When put together with the red leather jacket upon the sofa, it seems like there will be a clean and clear contrast between the white and the red. Normally she doesn't like belts with patterns on them, but today she's sporting a belt with a leaf-like pattern across it. Looking closer even her kimono's sleeves have three or so red leaves scattered across the ends. 

"Mikiya, whose business is that?" 

Pointing with a white finger Shiki asks me a question. 

Her finger is pointed at the object leaning against the wall. 

"Ahh, Akidaka-san sent that. Shiki, you went out yesterday didn't you? When I dropped by after work you weren't there, and Akidaka-san was waiting for you in front of the door. It had been a while since I saw him and I talked with him for an hour or so, but it didn't feel like you would be coming back anytime soon so we parted ways. At the time he entrusted me with this. He said that it may be a Kanesada (Kanesada: the greatest blade-smith of the Muromachi period) but since there's no maker's mark he couldn't be sure of its origins." 

"When you say Kanesada, do you mean the Kanesada with a [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Kuji]] in it?" 

Showing a rare bright face, Shiki lifts the bundle leaning against the wall. Holding the package that was heavy even for me with just one hand, Shiki began to loosen the string that held the bag shut. 

Like a banana peel being stripped, whoosh, and the cloth gets stripped away. What was presently revealed was a long and thin metal plate. No, rather than saying it was metal it felt more like rusty iron or copper. Only the cloth from the top of the bundle has been taken off so only a tenth of the object can be seen, but it's definite that the thing is something like a stick. 

The iron inside the shinai bag is wrapped in another layer of pure cotton-like cloth. The iron is in the form of a plate that looks like someone took a ruler and made it about two times bigger, and has two small holes drilled into it. There are some kanji carved into the worn surface. ... Curious. 

"Man Akidaka, bringing out something like this ... ." 

Shiki speaks as if she's troubled, but her eyes can't stop smiling. For some reason I couldn't express, it was depressing to see Shiki who didn't even smile at any day-to-day things suddenly start snickering as she held that unidentifiable metal plate 

"Shiki, what is that?" 

Shiki was acting too strange so I asked her about it. 

When I did, Shiki spun around to face me and gave me a huge grin. 

"Want to see? This is the kind of sword you can't typically see these days." 

Shiki who happily started to bring the contents of the shinai-bag out. Touko-san, who had been watching silently till now, stopped her. 

"Shiki, I see that is a ancient blade you have there. You can't take out something like a five hundred old sword in here. What will you do if the ward gets cut apart?" 

Hearing that Shiki freezes. 

Touko-san says it's a sword, but is that blunt metal plate that looks like a enlarged iron ruler that couldn't cut anything really a sword ... ? 

"On top of that there's even a Kuji on it. Is it ‘May those who preside over warriors all be my vanguard’ '''(TN: I don't think this is an accurate translation but it's the best I could do from what I had)'''? I'm sorry, but my wards can't stand up to a famous 500 year-old sword. If you take that out here, all the things in the lower floors will come tumbling down." 

Taken back by Touko-san's unusually threatening words Shiki began packing the shinai-bag away again. ... These two, I think it's true that they talked about a lot of strange and wonderful topics while I was away. 

"--- You are right, showing Mikiya a Japanese sword with only the blade will be boring anyway. To think that he didn't prepare a hilt, is Akidaka getting to be an old dotard too?" 

Shiki mumbles absently. 

... Calling Akidaka-san who had raised her since she was ten years old an old dotard is a bit harsh. Moreover Akidaka-san is still in his early 30's which means his usefulness is still maturing. 

Reluctantly Shiki lays the bundle upon the sofa. 

... This is something I found out later, but in those days a hilt didn't come attached to a sword. A Japanese sword like those you see in historic dramas already have their hilts attached, but a hilt-less sword has no decorations like some cutter blade. Apparently those two holes punched into the bottom are so that you can put a hilt on. And just for your information, an ancient sword refers to swords from the middle of the Heian era to the Keichio (1596-1614) era, without doubt an important cultural fact. 

"Do you know, Shiki? Just by building up a history a weapon becomes a mystical thing that can stand up to magecraft. From now on don't bring anything like that into this building even by accident. I won't take the blame for what happens if you do." 

Handling a precious item that could even become a national treasure like that, Touko-san went, whew, and sighed. 

"By the way Kokuto. What's the reason for you coming in late this morning?" 

"I apologise, it's just that investigating proved a bit difficult. Anyway I've managed to get the names and collect some general information on the resident's of the Okawa mansion." 

--- That's right, I started investigating the mansion in question last night and when I woke up the day had already passed me by. 

Lately the spread of the internet has meant that it's become possible to carry out investigations even during the night time. Distinctions such as resting in the night-time since everyone else is sleeping have disappeared. As a result, I heard the story from Uncle Daisuke, collected some random facts here and there while web surfing, sorted what I found, and before I knew it the job had expanded to the state it was currently in. 

"... I told you that you had until December to do it. You sure like to buy the hardships you go through Kokuto. Well, let's hear it then." 

"Yes ma'am. The Okawa mansion is a high class building even for a posh mansion complex like Kayamahama. It has a unique design too so please have a look later. The construction period was from 96 to 97, with the work being done together by 3 companies. You took care of the Eastern building lobbies Touko-san. For now I've put the names of those involved in the construction on the list. There's a detailed construction schedule attached too, so have a look." 

Taking out the freshly printed resources I spread them out on Touko-san's desk. 

For some reason Touko-san is blinking a lot and sitting there quiescently. 

"As you can see what we are referring to as the mansion is actually two mansions right next to each other. 

Built in a nice half-moon shape there are two ten story buildings facing each other. If you look at an aerial photo it's enough to surprise you. They really are forming a circle. Originally they built it thinking of a company dormitory, so the 1st and 2nd floors are set out as recreational facilities, but they aren't currently in use. I suppose that you can't waste power on such frivolous things with the economy as bad as it is. 

Each building is ten stories high, with five rooms per floor. Taking the East and West buildings together you have ten rooms. Every room is a [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|3LDK]] that mixes Western and Japanese styles. The layout of the waterworks was somewhat complex, so in about ten years time the lower floors might start developing some leaks. As for carparks, there are 40 spaces in front of the mansion, and 40 spaces underground. Compared to the number of residents it's a bit lacking, but for now there's enough with just the parking space out front. 

When the company that originally intended to use it as a company dormitory started having trouble there was a change of ownership. Apparently the new owner's policies meant that the building was opened to private use. The residents entered in 1998, in other words this year. They said that they had advertised for 3 months, but only about half the apartments were filled. There were even some rumours coming out that they were going to rebuild the Western building in the near future. Oh, and here's a copy of the blueprints." 

Saying that I laid the next resource upon the desk. 

Touko-san made an even more disgruntled face, and furrowed her forehead. 

"The mansion is divided into a Western building and an Eastern building, but the first floor lobby is shared. There is only one elevator as well. For a project using this much land the construction was actually pretty shabby. They probably focused more upon outside opinion than utility when they were planning the building. The elevator alone was fraught with breakdowns at the beginning. In fact the caretaker confessed to me that they couldn't even use the elevator till May. 

The room count is five rooms per building, going anti-clockwise from the six o'clock position they go number 1, number 2, and so on. The Eastern building is from number 1 to number 5. Numbers 6 to 10 are in the Western building. The roof is a no access area. 

The third floor residents are: Sonoda, empty room, Watanabe, empty room, Itsuki, Dakemoto, empty room, Haido, empty room, Toenchi. 

The fourth floor residents are: empty room, empty room, Sasatani, Mochitsuki, Aratani, empty room, empty room, Tsujinomiya, Kamiyama, Enjoh. 

The fifth floor residents are: Narushima, Tennoji, empty room, empty room, Shirazumi, Naito, Enohmoto, empty room, empty room, Inugami. The sixth floor -." 

"Enough, I realise already. How much you go overboard when you are let off your leash, I realise it already." 

In the midst of going through the list, Touko-san sighs and stops me. 

"Here, show me the list. Since I won't be surprised even if it has the company they belong to and their former address on top of their family composition." 

"Okay. Reading everything is a bit hard for me as well." 

So I handed over the list, and when Touko-san saw it she went 'Whoa', letting out an exclamation that didn't suit her image. 

"Dear lord, to think you really did investigate it all. Kokuto, are you sure you don't want to try being a detective? You will be popular, definitely." 

"No I wouldn't be. You see, I only got information for half the residents this time too." 

Yes, if I had any regrets that was it. 

In the end out of the fifty or so residents I was only able to follow up thirty of them which is about half that number. Other than that I was only able to find out the names of the residents and the makeup of their families. 

Touko-san is wordlessly flipping through the list. 

When I glanced at Shiki for no reason she had on a serious face and was lost in thought. That frowning expression she had on as though she were glaring, it was grim but rather than being scary it was beautiful. 

"Touko, pass me that list for a second." 

Walking over to behind Touko-san, Shiki casts her eyes upon the list. 

"... As I thought. Such a rare name, there wouldn't be two of them." 

Chit, Shiki clicks her tongue. 

"I'll go on ahead first. Touko, is there anything I could use as transport?" 

"There is a 200hp motorbike in the corner of the warehouse." 

"Are you telling me to ride a motorbike while wearing a kimono?" 

"There should be some woman's clothing in the wardrobe. They are mine so they might be a little big, but it should be better than a kimono." 

"Yeah," Shiki nodded. Putting on her leather jacket she picked up the Japanese sword that was packed inside a shinai-bag and left the office behind her. 

Like some snake the white kimono makes an inauspicious slithering noise. 

"--- Shiki!" 

... How should I say this. Feeling some indescribable uneasiness I called after Shiki to stop her. 

Showing me the back of the leather jacket, Shiki just turns her face towards me. Eyes full of naive questioning, as if she had been warned about some prank she didn't remember and thought it weird. 

"What is it Mikiya? Does it seem like I've lost myself to some bad thing or something?" 

Really, what am I supposed to say to her when she's so carefree as if she's just popping out to do some shopping --- I couldn't figure out what I had to say. 

"No ... It's nothing. I'll come over tonight so let's leave talking till later." 

"What? What a weirdo. But --- okay. Tonight you said? If it's at that time I should be in my room." 

Okay then, she said and Shiki left holding one hand up in farewell.

*** 

Around one hour after Shiki left on the motorbike she had uncharacteristically borrowed from Touko-san, Touko-san and I decided to go and check out the mansion for ourselves. 

30 minutes after leaving the city centre on Touko-san's treasured mini-coupe-like Miner 1000 or something similar. Before long we came to an immaculately maintained portside district. 

That place which is called Kayamahama, at any rate it was wide. Whether it was because they had land to spare or not, only a few multi-story buildings dotted the landscape, and so it brought to mind the field in a polygon game that had been popular ages ago. With a name like Bro-ken or Dra-ken, it was a game where four people oversaw a huge landmass. 

The mansion in question was really in the middle of a chaotic jungle of mansions. Surrounded by buildings that all looked the same the circular tower was visible from miles away but took a while to get to. 

Whereas most of the other buildings are square tofu blocks, that round mansion alone breaks that rule as it stands there.. 

For a ten-story building it's pretty high. There definitely were advantages to piling blocks on top of each other to form a circular mansion upon this land. The lone trail from the grounds to the mansion is almost like a road leading to the Taj-Mahal, stretching straight to the mansion lobby. 

"What's this, there isn't even an underground carpark." 

Muttering in the driver's seat, Touko-san parked the car on the roadside. 

"Well, shall we?" 

Lighting up another cigarette, Touko-san starts walking. 

Sticking close to her I had just stepped onto the mansion grounds when a sudden dizziness struck me. 

It may be because the sun's stronger today. Since I was staring up at a mansion that shoots up like a tower, getting briefly dizzy isn't so unreasonable. 

Pursuing Touko-san who was striding off ahead of me, I entered the mansion. 

--- At that moment, I felt like vomiting. 

The walls of the mansion's lobby are united in a cream colour and are spotlessly clean. Yet I felt so unnerved looking at it that I thought I would faint if I stopped clenching my teeth. 

No, this is already close to disgust. 

My insides were twisting around so much that I thought I would go crazy. 

Although the air outside is so cold the air inside the mansion is lukewarm. It's probably only due to the internal heating being set too high, but this feels like I'm feeling somebody's steaming breath. The tepid atmosphere that wraps around my skin, it's somewhat --- similar to being inside a living body. 

"Kokuto, that's only because you are thinking of it that way." 

Hearing Touko-san voice whispering by my ear barely managed to bring me out of that weird mood. 

Steadying my mind I looked around myself. 

The lobby is the one space that connects the two buildings. 

This mansion building looks as if someone took a circle and cut it in half before arranging them to face each other. The two buildings are connected only by the space in the centre, so it is not possible to go directly from the East building to the West building from the second floor and above. In other words you must return to the central space and go across the lobby. 

There's no caretaker's office in the lobby. 

In the centre of that circular space is a huge column that could be called the mansion's spine. This is the elevator that can move anywhere between the first and tenth floors and running beside it there is a stairway. Having put walls around the elevator and staircase it became a column, having that kind of feeling the column gives me a very gloomy impression. 

"--- This, is a very unpleasant building." 

"It feels like a haunted house. There's a lot of bad energy floating about which can't be hidden. But on the whole there are quite a few buildings like this one. It's actually quite simple to make a building that drives people mad you see. Just by changing the wall colour, or the location of the stairs, you can change somebody's condition for the worse. If it's a resident who lives here everyday, the effect would be much worse. 

Touko-san got on the elevator first. 

"Which floor would be good Kokuto?" 

"Ah, any floors good. ... Although if you were to ask I would say the fourth floor." 

"Then let's go to the fourth floor." Touko-san said as she slowly looked around the inside of the elevator. 

The elevator is of a strange design that looks like a twisted white cylinder. 

Out of the buttons that show numbers from '''B''' to '''10''' I press 4.

Brrrrrr---------------------------------rrmmm. 

There was a moving noise where the unnaturalness overwhelmed everything else. 

We are definitely going up, but it feels like my body is falling towards the floor. 

Finally the elevator doors opened. 

The fourth floor lobby is a circle too. When we come out of the elevator the corridor leading to the East building is in front of our eyes. The mansion entrance faced South, so it means that there is a corridor in the 6 o'clock direction. 

This corridor goes all the way to the outside, so that when you get to the wall on the other end it turns around in a 3 o'clock direction and goes around the wall of the West building. As expected the doorways to all the rooms are on the outer side. 

"Let's see, we are on the fourth floor right now so that would be number 401. Then it goes to number 405, before we come to a dead end. How do we get to the West building?" 

"You have to go around the back of the elevator. The Southern corridor you see when you get out of the elevator leads to the East building, and the North corridor which is behind the elevator is connected to the West building. This mansion really is divided into two." 

"They sure built it strangely. If they connected the outer sides it wouldn't become like that." 

"That wouldn't be as fitting. They built this so poshily, so they had to at least divide black and white properly. Anyway, Kokuto. Did you have something to do on the fourth floor? Are you going to visit that place where the family was dead or something?" 

When Touko-san said that I jumped in surprise. 

Touko-san's voice echoes through the cream coloured lobby. 

The light shines off the well-polished floor of the lobby, making me think that it's night-time. 

Yes, why hadn't I realised. 

... Since we got to this mansion, we haven't met one person. No, never mind meeting people --- there isn't even the sense that there are people living here. 

"Boss, where did you hear that story?" 

"From a detective I keep owing debts to. You are talking about that story were the thief went to rob an empty house and found the whole family dead aren't you? I didn't hear the number and the name of the family, but I thought that if it was you, you would have investigated those." 

Ah, she's right. My phone call to uncle Daisuke last night was too confirm that too. 

"What should we do? Do you want to check it, Kokuto?" 

"I was planning to, but now..." 

To be honest I'm scared. Until I got here I was thinking that it was an interesting but not very special story, but seeing this place made me realise that it was real. Just being here is making me tremble. Embarrassingly, visiting the house of the family involved was a scary thought even during the daytime. 

"Let's go. I want to use the elevator by myself. That's right, let's meet upstairs. Come up by those stairs over there. It may be a spiraling stairway, but it might be a good idea to close your eyes." 

Then, Touko-san said, and she got on the elevator again and went to the upper floors. 

The lamp climbs to the tenth floor. 

--- While I was staring blankly at that, I realised only then that I was now alone. 

In the lobby there is only me. 

A world where only your own breathing can be heard. 

A secret chamber in which you can't tell if it is day or night. 

A heavy and stuffy oppressiveness, as if the whole room is one big vacuum pack. 

I never knew. That a mansion could be such a gloomy dimension cut off from the outside world. 

"Damn, she would never come down to me would she, that Touko-san." 

By talking to myself I tried to regain my vitality, but it had the opposite effect. 

The echoes of my voice return to me, coming to my ears as the voice of another. 

... Even a cemetery at night wouldn't be a scary as this place. 

Whatever. As long as I am in the lobby, the pressure of being in a hidden room looms over me. Steeling my mind I went towards the corridor that leads to the East building. 

Coming outside, there wasn't such a heavy feel to the atmosphere as in the lobby. The view in the corridor that went round the outside was actually quite boring. Everywhere you looked it was just more of the same mansion. 

Looking at that from the side of my eyes I walked towards the dead end. Walking to the end of the East building, I arrived at the number 5 residence of the fourth floor. 

--- Nine days ago. The robber that snuck into this house discovered several corpses and fled. 

When the terrified thief went to report the finding to the police, he was even more shocked to come face to face with the family going about their daily routine when he returned. 

Had the thief seen some kind of hallucination? Or was there some kind of mistake. 

It would have been fine to stop there, but by dredging up all that remained of the enthusiasm that had brought me this far I rang the doorbell. 

Ding-dong, came the clear tone. 

A little later --- making a creaking noise, the mansion doorway opened outwards. 

The darkness inside the room spills out. 

Something came out of there. 

Firstly a person's arm. 

Then, a head. 

"Eh, I am Enjoh but... Who are you?" 

Opening the door, that's what the rough-faced teenage boy said to me as if he were annoyed. 

*** 

--- In the end that story was just another stupid wild tale. 

There wasn't much wrong with the Enjoh family of the number 5 residence who were supposed to have been involved in the incident. 

When I came back to the lobby, the elevator was still up on the 10th floor. Pressing the button would make it come down, but inside that thing is Touko-san. It goes without saying that she would disparage me for being too scared to use the stairs. 

With no other options I directed my feet towards the nearby stairway. 

The lobby is still full of heavy air, but the normal state of the Enjoh family had given me back some confidence. 

I started climbing the dark staircase lit only by a spinning red light located somewhere I couldn't see. 

The stairs turn in right angles, winding around the elevator shaft like some snake as they stretch up and up. As Touko-san had said, it was a spiraling stairway. Every time you reached a floor there was a small hole in the stairway so that you could go out into the lobby. 

... That cream coloured wall which the red light was shining upon, I thought it looked like the stairway of some medieval castle. Something about the red light made me think of a flickering torch. The light is dim, and it doesn't reach to the end of the stairs so every time I went up one space it made me a little more melancholy. 

The end of the twisting stairs, fighting the scary illusion that there was something crouching on the far wall I climbed all the stairs, and ended up on the 5th floor lobby. ... Or, would it be more accurate to say I escaped. 

The 5th floor lobby is laid out in the same manner as the 4th floor lobby. It's a mansion so like a department store it's expected that there will be no great differences between floors, but even saying that this place is so similar that it's scary. 

"So you came. Let's go down then." 

Touko-san was waiting for me in the lobby. 

I followed her who got onto the elevator without another word. 

When we got on the elevator Touko-san stood in front of the panel with all the buttons corresponding to each floor, and spoke without turning. 

"Kokuto, look down at the floor. It's a quiz." 

"Eh? All I have to do is look down?" 

The elevator doors shut. Again there is a loud machine noise. 

The time taken to go down would not have been more than 3 seconds. Inside the vast airtight enclosure called a mansion, the smallest airtight container stops. 

"Now, here's the question. What floor is this?" 

Only then did I lift my head. The elevator is open and I could see the lobby. On the wall that looked identical to the one just before there is a small plastic plate with the number 5 on it embedded in the wall. 

"Uh ... We are still on the 5th floor." 

But, the elevator had definitely moved. In that case the one that was wrong was me. 

After thinking about it for a moment I came to the obvious conclusion. 

"In that case, it was the 6th floor we were on just before, wasn't it?" 

"Correct. Kokuto intended to go up one floor but ended up coming up two. It's a stairway design that makes it easy to make such mistakes, but, well that's how it is. 

But you know, these things called mansions are strange aren't they? The fact that the only way you can tell the floor you live on is those small numbers on the lobby walls. The higher up you live the more your senses get dulled within the elevator. If you were to work on the elevator switch so that all the floor numbered were changed someone who wasn't used to it wouldn't be able to tell if they were on the 4th floor or the 5th. When I have the opportunity it might be nice to experiment in a nearby mansion. Would midnight be best? I feel happy all of a sudden." 

Saying those things Touko-san shut the elevator doors. 

Before I knew it we were on the 1st floor, and we came out into the lobby. 

"I know. Shall we go over to the East building for a minute. No matter which building you are in the 1st floor should have a lobby right?" 

"Yes. The place is set out so that it connects directly to the second floor facilities. Kinda like a lobby in some decent size hotel. ... Eh? Wasn't Touko-san the one who designed the East building's lobby?" 

Was it, Touko-san replies vaguely as she walks away. 

The first floor lobby could be regarded as the circle's centre. 

Stretching out from this centre like some thin line are the East and West corridors, which leads to each building's first floor lobby. You could almost say that the lobbies of each building are close to lounges. 

We shortly arrived at the East building lobby. 

In that quite wide space, an empty plaza. The place was open to the second floor, so a long staircase stretches straight up to the second floor balcony. 

Should I say it felt like the lounge of one of those Western villas that you often see in movies. In the middle of the semi-circle lounge is a clumsy staircase. The surroundings are just more of the cream coloured walls, and the floor is made up of marble-like stone. 

"If you were to put a mechanism in, let's see, would it be about here? Just in case let's make an escape way shall we." 

And Touko-san went to her knees on the stone floor, then began sweeping the floor with her hands like some academic looking for fossils. 

"--- Uh. What the heck are you doing, boss?" 

"A precautionary measure. But you know, didn't you realise when you used the stairs? There were signs of movement, weren't there?" 

"?" 

The stairs, move... ? 

To say that the stairs inside that box-like structure move, means that the entire central column moves as well. 

That kind of idiotic thing, how- 

"It's not the column. Just the stairs. Didn't you see on the corner of the walls? There were scrape marks. Ah, was that it. You were too scared to think of looking at something like that." 

Patting the floor with her hands, Touko-san says that without even turning around. 

... My thoughts truly hadn't stretched that far. No, since the stairway was so dark that the light couldn't reach the ends, could I say that I didn't have the leisure to think of it. 

"... But it's impossible to move the stairs. Moving that column, isn't it the same as demolishing this mansion?" 

"That's why I said it was just the stairs. A rocket pencil, to describe it otherwise." 

"Rocket pencil? What's that?" 

Twitch, Touko-san's hand freezes in mid-motion. 

And she hurried to her feet. 

"You don't know? Those pencils that have ten or so leads in one case. Small missile-like things are stacked inside like pistol rounds. They are layered in rows inside the pencil and when one lead gets worn away you take out the missile, and push the end of the pencil in. Then a new missile comes out, and you can keep writing without going to the bother of sharpening your pencil. ... Would they still be selling them. Image-wise they are like ???." 

I can't understand what Touko-san says. 

The rocket-pencil she talks about isn't something I know of, but that expression of hers comparing this to a ??? touched me. So, does that mean they are pushing up the stairs alone from below. 

"Are you saying they lifted up the spiral stairway from below. Like a piston?" 

"That's right. They would have left about half a floor's worth of room from the start. At the same time as they started being able to use the elevator, they pushed it up from below. Not in order to increase the amount per floor, but in order to skew the exits of the spiral. By doing so you reverse North and South." 

Now, let's go home, Touko-san says and starts walking again. 

Returning to the central lobby the boss who was leaving this circular mansion muttered something as if she really couldn't understand. 

"... Does he really not know, about rocket pencils. They were quite a fad when I was student, those." 

*** 

The last decoration of the day, a red parking violation sticker stuck on the windshield of the car that had been parked on the curb. 

The road in front of the mansion was wide but there was almost no traffic, on top of which the only car parked there was Touko-san's so it must have stood out.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 Glossary and Notes

2009-04-14T06:53:54Z

61.11.175.146:

Need to start filling this up because I only just remembered I needed to make a page like this when I started working on part 8 of this chapter. 

=== /6 Spiral Paradox === 

'''Ogawa Mansion''' - The Japanese usage of the word 'mansion' refers not to a large house, like the Ryougi family estage (or the Tohno Mansion in Tsukihime), but to a large or luxury apartment. It can be used to refer to a single apartment or to an entire apartment building. 

=== /7 Spiral Paradox === 

'''Shinai''' - A bamboo practice sword. 

'''Kuji''' - The nine signs of power, a charm to aid a warrior in battle - They are: rin-pyo-to-sha-kai-jin-retsu-zai-zen. 

'''3LDK''' - An apartment with 3 rooms, lounge, and kitchen.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 06

2009-04-14T06:49:02Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/6 Spiral Paradox''' 

One night has passed, and it is now noon on the eighth of November. 

The cloudy sky is no different from yesterday, so the lightless office was dark like an abandoned ruin. 

This office is too big for just two people, me and Touko-san, to use. There are enough desks for ten people, and there's a sofa to receive clients too. With a floor of concrete as bare as it was on the day it was poured, and walls that haven't even been papered over, it's not much, but nevertheless, if the numbers were met it would look like a proper workplace. 

But, at this moment, there are only three people here including me. 

Touko-san cannot be seen at the chief's desk beside the window. The medicine she took yesterday must have been effective, because as soon as she woke to find the cold had gone she went out somewhere. 

Inside this office without a director, I was ordering materials with which to decorate the hall where the art exhibition would be starting next month while comparing prices and doing other such things. While holding Touko-san's specifications in one hand, I was doing this in order to obtain the materials needed for her craft at low prices. That person is the type to say, 'It's all right as long as I make it', so she doesn't put in this kind of annoying and bothersome effort. The result is that as her employee, I can't help but do it for her. 

Peering at the list of material suppliers, I ring up this place for that and negotiate, then I move onto yet another shop. Apart from me, who can't decide whether I'm busy or just dedicated, there are two other people here. 

One is the kimono girl sitting blankly on the guest sofa. Needless to say, it's Ryougi Shiki, and while it's not as if she is doing anything, she is sitting there in a polite manner. 

The other person is sitting facing me at the desk furthest away from my own, doing... something. A schoolgirl in a black uniform. The girl with the long hair which is the polar opposite of Shiki's slung over her back, she's called Kokutou Azaka. 

Needless to say, the fact that our last names are the same means we are blood relatives, and as my little sister, Azaka is a first-year high school student. She has a weak constitution, so she was given over to a relative’s house around the time she was ten, for the reason that the city air was not good for her body; after that, we only met a few times. I think the last time I saw her was New Year's Day the year I entered high school. At the time she was still a child, but when I saw the Azaka who returned this summer, I was quite surprised. The little sister I faced for the first time in ages had grown into a lady with such a noble air about her as to make me wonder if her genes came from our family. 

As expected, I think that with just a change of environment from the house where one was born, that thing called a human grows up beautifully. 

Her actions have become spirited, too, so there's no trace of her former frailty. The fact that I wasn't with her during that period of growth from the age of ten to fifteen might be a factor, but for a while I couldn't accept the fact that this girl was my little sister Azaka. 

I steal a glance at Azaka, sitting at the far-off desk. 

With a number of books thicker than a dictionary stacked up beside her, she is studiously and quietly copying down the contents. ... It's the study material Touko-san left for Azaka as she went out. 

The heavy conversation yesterday with Touko-san put me in a gloomy mood as well, but my current greatest worry might be this. 

"Nii-san. I'm going to become Touko-san's apprentice." 

Whatever she was thinking, one month ago Azaka said such a thing. Of course I protested, but my little sister was determined and would not listen to my opinion. 

...Ah, geez. Why does a weird thing like a magician have to come out of an exceedingly normal family like ours? 

"Azaka." 

The phone orders put aside for now, I called to my little sister who was sitting in front of me. 

Azaka finishes writing the sentence she was copying, and then with her black hair rippling about her head, raised her face towards me. Her eyes which are calm and dignified in spite of being full of a proud temper politely look this way as if asking, 'what is it?'. 

"I know that it's a holiday since it's your school's foundation day. But even so, is it okay for you to be in a place like this?" 

"Nii-san, please visit the house once in a while. There was a fire in the school dormitory, so right now it's in ruins. Mother knows that there was a request from the school for students with homes nearby to leave the dormitories if possible for now." 

With eyes and a voice that remind me of the school president from my high school days, she knocks aside my question. 

"A fire --- one big enough for the whole dorm to burn?" 

"Only on the east wing. Half of the first and second year dorms were burnt to ashes. Although it didn't appear on the news because the school hushed it up." 

Azaka says something shocking in a firm tone. 

A fire breaking out at a famous girls' school like Reien is definitely something that could turn into a scandal, regardless of the truth behind the matter. However, if we are talking about Reien, which takes pride in the affection its powerful alumnae feel for the school, they might be able to take care of a fire in secret. 

But for a fire to occur at a school dormitory, it's a horrible thought. It's also easy to imagine from what Azaka said it that it was arson --- by a student, at that. 

“--- Nii-san. You aren’t getting any strange ideas, are you?” 

Azaka glares at me as if she read my mind. 

... Because of that event over the summer, my little sister doesn't like Kokutou Mikiya sticking his head into suspicious events. A silent argument always occurs following a conversation like this, so I decided to try and change the Subject. 

"That aside. What are you doing right now?” 

“It's nothing to do with you, Nii-san.” 

As if she knows what I want to say, Azaka's reply is chilly. 

"It does have something to do with me. I mean, my sister wants to be a wizard! What am I supposed to say to Father?" 

"Oh, you are planning to drop by the house?” 

… Ugh. Little rascal, she knows perfectly well that our parents and I cut our ties after we argued. 

“Speaking of which, Nii-san. A wizard and a mage are different things. How can you not know about that when you work for Touko-san?” 

Now that I think about it, Touko-san does sometimes say something like that. Something along the lines of how it's convenient to advertise yourself as a wizard rather than a magician as it presents the kind of image that you want, but that those are the titles of two completely different things, or something like that. 

“Ah, I did hear that before. But there wasn't much difference that I could see. They both use suspicious magic.” 

“Magic and sorcery are different. 
The art we call sorcery, it's definitely something outside our everyday reality. In the end, though, it's still nothing more than making something that is possible normally happen under extraordinary circumstances. Should I give you an example?” 

Azaka walked over to Touko-san's desk, then picked up a letter opener that was lying there. A piece of silverware of excellent craftsmanship, it's one of Touko-san’s most frequently handled items. 

Taking out an unneeded document, Azaka writes something on it with the knife. Suddenly --- spewing thick clouds of smoke, the document begins to burn away. 

“….” 

Unable to speak, I just stared at the scene. Touko-san had done something of the like (although on a larger scale) before, but I didn't know what to say at seeing my little sister do that sort of thing. 

“--- Stop that. That, is there some kind of trick to it?” 

“Of course there is. It might look amazing to someone who didn't know about it, but it's really nothing special. What I did just now doesn’t even qualify as an ability. If you are going to set something on fire, a disposable lighter will do the trick. Whether you do it with a lighter or a finger, the fact that you are setting an object on fire is the same. That kind of thing, it's not miraculous at all, is it? Do you understand, Nii-san? Sorcery is like that.” 

Azaka continues on confidently. 

In short, magic seems to be equivalent to a substitute good for civilization. No, from what Azaka said, it may be more accurate to say it has been overtaken by civilization.

“Take making it rain, for example. Whether it's through science or magic, the result is indistinguishable. It's just that the method is different; the amount of effort that goes into it is nearly the same. Sorcery may appear to be the work of an instant, but the preparatory steps required are extensive. If you take the time and money spent, it’s nearly equivalent to making the rainclouds with science. In the past, that really was something close to a miracle. By today's standards, however, it's not a miracle or anything of the sort. Previously, any mage that could turn a whole village to ashes was hailed as a wizard, but these days if you have money, that's something anyone can do. All that is required is to throw one missile.”

That method would actually be much faster and more effective, Azaka adds. 

'''TN: Next paragraph was VERY weird so translation was a bit difficult, I'll rework it when I do the final version.'''

“Sorcery is nothing more than making possible through your own strength what can be done now after spending a mind-boggling amount of time on the problem. It might be so even if you look at it academically. Rather than looking/thinking for decades in order to obtain the truth, it might be faster to go to the moon and look/think there. It's frustrating, but sorcery is of the 'taboo ritual'(秘儀禁忌) type, so it cannot achieve miracles.  --- A miracle is something beyond the powers of humanity, isn't it? Something currently unachievable in this world no matter how much money you throw at it. The ones who can make those things are called wizards, and their art, magic.” 

Something humans can't do yet. That is magic, is what Azaka said. 

“Then, wouldn't there have been more wizards than mages in the past? Since people in those days wouldn’t have had lighters or missiles.” 

"You are right. That is why a wizard was a feared figure in the past, and why being one could even be called a job. These days, though, it's different, isn't it? Strictly speaking, they aren't needed, the things called mages. These days, magic itself is disappearing. After all, you can count on your fingers the number of things that are impossible for humanity, can't you? Whatever the case, they say that there are only about five wizards in the world today." 

... Sure enough. With those meanings there would be a difference between mages and wizards. If we are talking about things that humanity can't do currently, the only things would be the control of time and space. Seeing the future or the past isn't reliable, but this is a time when such things are becoming possible, so impossibilities really are able to be counted on one hand. 

Someday --- humanity will eliminate the very existence of magic. Kind of like how a child, who became a scientist because he was intrigued by a number of events he thought miraculous, loses that sense of wonder as he comes to think of those events as simple phenomena in the course of his research. 

"Hmm. In that case, wouldn't the last magic be something like the power to make everyone happy?" 

Umm. I can't say I know much about all this. 

"----." 

For some reason, Azaka has shut herself up. 

She appeared to look this way, with a face as if she was looking at something unexpected, but suddenly turns away. 

"... Magic is something that can't be reached. And I never wanted to be a wizard. Learning sorcery is just for the purpose of achieving my goals." 

"Really? So magic is out, but if it's sorcery you will learn it? That sounds like what you just said, Azaka." 

When I summed up the talk by coming to that conclusion, Azaka shakes her head, and says no. 

"What have you been listening to, Nii-san? 

Sorcery was magic too, in the past. All that happened was that humanity caught up to it, so its learning and use has become possible with effort. 

... It's frustrating, but I don't have any built-up history like a mage's family heritage. Those people we call mages are families who build up their blood and history. The first of them would have been simple academics too. The mysteries that they have learned, and the strength they built up, they pass those on to the next generation. Their descendants continue their work, and pass it on to their own descendants. --- In this way, they repeat an endless cycle as they try to approach the bounds of magic. Touko-san seems to be the sixth generation, but apparently the third generation heir of their family was an incredible genius and discovered some amazing things. I think Touko-san's gifts are a result of carrying that thick blood as well. People like me who are just starting to learn magic now can't become mages that easily." 

"Hmm. Sounds like you are going to find it tough, for many reasons." 

Mmm, I suddenly understood something. 

Thick blood --- the power of your bloodline. 

That's true for any family. To us it may be our many relatives, or the wealth you have inherited. 

But, in the end, that --- 

"Oii, then what are you doing? Ours is a normal family. Never mind magic, we've never even dipped into Buddhism. Wouldn't it be that we can't learn things like magic?" 

"That's correct, but apparently we have the potential. According to Sensei, the delicacy shown when I ignite something isn't very common." 

Azaka speaks as if she's sulking. 

... Ah, geez, what good is being able to set things on fire going to do her? It could even be that this brat was the one responsible for the fire in the student dormitory. 

"Hey, you said it yourself that an ability that ends with one generation is useless. Then whatever you do is pointless. Even if you try to become a mage instead of a wizard, it will end up no different in the end. If you don't come back to a normal path quickly, you won't even be able to find a job." 

It's hard finding jobs these days as it is. 

Azaka immediately tried to refute that statement. 

Before that could happen --- an even more offensive piece of dialogue came leaping into the office with the sound of footsteps. 

"No, getting a job won't be a problem. With that level of skill at her age, in just two years' time she'll be getting offers left and right. She could even be hired as a first-class curator." 

With a loud whuffing noise, the door opens and Touko-san enters the room. 

<center>* * *</center>

Having shed her cold, Touko-san walks over to the chief's desk so briskly that you wonder if she was ever sick. 

Sitting down after hanging her coat on the chair, she looked at her desk and frowned. Probably because the location of the letter opener was different from before. 

"Azaka, I told you not to use someone else's things. A person becomes dull if they rely upon tools. I suppose it was because you didn't want to fail in front of Kokutou, right?" 

"--- yes, you are right." 

Upon being reprimanded by Touko-san, Azaka replies clearly even as her cheeks become red with embarrassment. ... It's those things about her that deserve to be admired, even if she is my little sister. 

"Well, you were having a pretty interesting talk. Weren't you disinterested in sorcery before, Kokutou?" 

"Of course I was, but... Oh, by the way, Touko-san. Do you remember yesterday?" 

"Eh?" Having taken off her glasses, Touko-san cocks her head in confusion. 

...That already mysterious conversation from last night, the one who began it doesn't remember talking about it. 

Touko-san pulls out a cigarette and takes a puff as she holds it in her mouth. 

"Anyway, Azaka. Why are you telling such things to Kokutou? Concealment and secrecy are the greatest prerequisites for sorcery. ... Although, I suppose there wouldn't be any problems if the person you are talking to is Kokutou." 

"What's okay if it's me?" 

"You won't understand even if we tell you. There's no reason for the secret to escape either. Since you are the type that knows how to choose the topic depending on the person. You wouldn't talk about that kind of thing with a normal human." 

"That may be so, but --- Is it really not good for a sorcerer to be exposed to others?" 

"Indeed, it's bad. Although it wouldn't really matter socially, the power of your sorcery falls. Do you know the origin of the word 'mystery', Kokutou?" 

Touko-san asked that as she brought her body forward on the desk. 

"When you say mystery, do you mean the sort of mystery in mystery novels?" 

"In a way. Not the detective novel sort, but mystery in the mystical sense." 

"Yeah, I do. It's originally Greek, not English." 

"... Well, that's true. In Greek it means to close something. Signifying stagnation, concealment, and self-completion. You see, a mystery has meaning in the fact that it is a mystery. Keeping it hidden is a nature of the technique. A sorcery that has had its nature revealed can't become a mystery, no matter what kind of supernatural methods it uses. It's nothing more than another method. Once that happens, that sorcery instantly becomes weaker. 

Sorcery was originally magic too. In short, there was no question that the strength was pulled out from the origin that was its source. Should we imagine for a moment that there was something along the lines of a 'mystery that makes you rich'? Let's say that this has a strength of 10. If only one person knows it, they can use the entire force of 10 of its power. But if two people know it, that it gets halved into two units of 5 and gets used like that. See, it's gotten weaker, hasn't it? The way of expressing it may be different, but I think that this is a fundamental rule in regards to everything in this universe." 

I can't understand all of what Touko-san is saying, but I think I get the point she is trying to convey. 

If concealment and obscurement is the law of existence that thing called sorcery exists by, I understand why mages would be reluctant to reveal their sorcery in front of others. 

"In that case, you must do as you please where others can't see you, Touko-san." 

"Nope, I don't." 

Zkk, Touko-san started talking as she stubbed out the cigarette in her ashtray. 

"I wouldn't have a choice in a battle between mages, but otherwise I don't use it even if I'm alone. The only time I use sorcerous techniques is when it's required for a ritual, or in a ceremony in order to proceed to the next level. 

Some time around the medieval era or so, an organization called the Association was formed. Because of their excessive regulation of sorcery, the Association foresaw the degeneration of mages. So they took the power of their organization and turned sorcery itself into something that is never revealed. What they did was to take a mystery that was visible and turn it into a mystery that no one knew about. As a result, mystery began to disappear from society. 

In order to strictly enforce this, the Association made some pretty byzantine rules. 

For example, if a mage pulls a civilian into a magical phenomenon, the association will dispatch an assassin to kill that mage. This is done to destroy the entity that is harming the larger community of mages. ... That's probably where the myth that a mage that reveals himself to people loses his power came from. 

The Association tried to stop the degeneration of sorcery by reinforcing the attribute of concealment, and as a result, those mages that belonged to the Association came to not throw their sorcery around with abandon. 

There were mages who resented those restrictions and retreated into the countryside, but the Association holds enormous amounts of academic works and lands. Most of what a mage requires to live as a mage is monopolized by the Association. To not belong to the Association was to be the same as being the outcast in a village. If you wanted to do an experiment, all the territories where the node lines met were owned by the Association, and if you tried to learn sorcery, you couldn't obtain any texts, so you couldn't learn anything. Therefore, a mage who was not a member of the Association could not practice sorcery even if they wanted to. That's the power of a multitude. In that respect, it's very impressive." 

"Uh, Touko-san. In that case, does that mean I would have to join the Association too...?" 

Azaka's hesitantly interrupting voice somehow held a note of unease. 

"You don't have to, but doing so would be more convenient. It's not as if you can't come out once you go in. You are free to leave that place when you wish. Since they regard the fact that they aren't rulers very seriously." 

"But in that case there's no meaning to their extraordinary levels of concealment. Sorcery would spread if those who have learned magic enter the outside world." 

Upon hearing Azaka's reasonable opinion, Touko-san goes, Ahhh, and nods. 

"That's true. Actually, there are a lot of people who plan to study at the Association and gain power, then leave for the countryside. Such thoughts tend to disappear after about ten years, though. Because the Association is the optimal environment for leaning sorcery. To go down to the countryside when everything a mage needs is already around you, no one does that kind of stupid thing '''(TN: Lol. Look who's talking, although I suppose most mages don't have seal orders upon their persons)'''. Studying sorcery is the foremost objective of a mage. They don't think about using their power and the things they've learned. If they have that kind of time to spare, they use it to approach an even higher level of mystery. But since Azaka has a fundamentally different objective from us, you don't need to worry about being infected with the Association's poison even if you decide to join. If you are interested in reaching higher levels, it's a place that might be worth looking into." 

Azaka knits her eyebrows together as if that's troublesome. In the end, it appears as though Azaka herself has no interest it doing something like that. To me, who doesn't like the idea of his little sister studying abroad in a suspicious place like that, Azaka's pondering comes as a welcome relief. 

"... I'll just ask one thing. What do you mean when you say that secrets are kept even within that Association?" 

Unexpectedly, I hear something from the sofa. 

Over there is Shiki, who has been sitting there since before without a word. She's the type of person who doesn't get involved in a conversation that she's not interested in, so until now she had been staring at the scenery outside the window. 

"--- There is that. A mage won't reveal the results of his experiments even within the Association. What the person next to them is researching, what their goals are, and what they have obtained are all a mystery. The only time a mage will reveal the results of their work is when they are passing it on to their descendants just before they die." 

"Studying for their benefit alone, yet not using that power for their own sake? What purpose is there in a life like that, Touko? Is it that the goal is to learn, and the process is to learn too? If the only things you have are the beginning and the end, that's the same as having a zero." 

... As usual, Shiki talks like a guy with that fine and clear feminine voice of hers. 

Touko-san appeared to have a faint bitter smile on her face, as if Shiki's biting remarks had hit a nerve somewhere. 

"There is a goal. However, what you said is correct too. A mage is pursuing a zero. His life is pointing towards something that never existed in the first place. 

A mage's ultimate goal, you see, is to reach the 'maelstrom of origins'. It's also called the Akashic Record, but it may be better to just regard the edge of the maelstrom as having such properties attached to it. 

The thing called the maelstrom of origins, it is probably the birthplace of everything. All phenomena flow out from it. If you know the origin, the results are naturally produced. To describe it as it is, you could say that it is the 'perfect knowledge'. By creating a standard like perfection or the like, we are ultimately limiting the concept, so even that description is incorrect. But since that the easiest way of defining it, the name stuck. 

Essentially, all the branches of magic that have spread throughout this world are nothing more than one branch of a small river flowing out from this maelstrom. This is the reason that every country has their own traditions and legends. The core is the same, but what decorates the exterior is the background of the one who understood that 'river'. Astrology, alchemy, kabbala, spiritualism, rune, the innumerable researchers. Their origins are the same, so in the end they hold the same final destination in mind. Because, they who have touched the tip of the stream that split off from the maelstrom of origins called magic, they have imagined what lay before --- the shape of the beginning. 

To reach the truth is the ultimate goal of all mages. They don't have any desire for petty things like the meaning of life. All they want is to know the shape of pure truth. They are that collective of people. Those who abandon self in order that they may gaze upon their souls --- the multitude who can never be rewarded for their efforts. The world calls them mages." 

Speaking with a clear voice, Touko-san's gaze is sharper than ever. Her amber eyes flicker as if they are on fire. 

... That may be so, but unfortunately, I can't understand even half of what was just said. 

I only understood one thing from that speech, so I decided to ask her about it. 

"Uh, can I ask something? If there is an objective, wouldn't studying have a meaning as well? Not being able to be compensated ...., Uhm, is it like that? No one has managed to reach it, have they?" 

"Someone did. We know that it exists because somebody managed to get there. Those magics that still exist today are things left behind by the ones who got there. 

But --- Those ones who got to that side never came back. Mages who were great enough to leave their names behind in history were lost at the very moment they got to that point. Whether that place is such a wonderful world, or if it's a world you cannot escape once you get to it. Those are things no one knows. Without getting there themselves, that is. However, reaching it with the efforts of one generation is impossible. The reason mages shed blood during their research, and pass the results of their work to their descendants, is to amplify their magic power. It's nothing but a way of creating a descendant who can reach the maelstrom of origins. You see, many generations of mages have already dreamed of the maelstrom of origins, died, and passed on their work to their children, who in turn added to it and passed it onto their children. There's no end to it. They can never be compensated for it, either. Even if a family that has reached that point were to appear, it would probably be impossible --- because there are meddlers." 

In contrast with her words, which suggest hatred, Touko-san lets loose a dry laugh. In a manner that makes it seems that she thinks it good that there is such a meddler in this world. 

"Well, what I am saying is that it is simply not possible no matter which side you are on. Today's mages can't reach the maelstrom and impose a new system --- a new branch of magic." 

Touko-san says this with a shrug, as if saying 'that's the end of this long story'. 

With that Azaka and I were unable to say anything, but Shiki alone points out the contradiction in Touko-san's story. 

"What strange people. Why do you people continue, even though you know it's beyond you?" 

"Who knows? Maybe all those people who call themselves 'mages' are those who were born without the ability to grasp the concept of 'impossible', or idiots who can't give up." 

Touko-san cleanly acknowledges the statement with a shrug. 

Seeing that, Shiki went, 'What, you already knew', as if she was surprised.

<center>* * *</center>

When an hour or so had passed after the end of the conversation, the office had regained its usual tranquility. 

It was getting to be about three in the afternoon, so as a break from work I brewed some coffee for everyone in the room. After getting some Japanese tea for Azaka, I sat back down at my desk. 

As for my work, the overall schedule was set, and my paycheck for the month looked to be safe. The thought relaxed me as I drank the coffee. 

The sound of people sipping tea could be heard echoing through the quiet office. 

Suddenly, as if she was trying to break the peaceful silence permeating the room, Azaka aimed a preposterous question at Shiki. 

"--- Excuse me. Shiki-san is a guy, isn't he?" 

... Enough to almost make me drop my cup, that was truly a hellish question. 

"---." 

That was true for Shiki, too. Taking her lips off the cup of coffee in her hands, she makes a face which suggests she is offended, but at a loss for words at the same time. In her current state, she has no rebuttal for my idiotic little sister. 

Seeing that as a sign of victory, Azaka continues. 

"Since you aren't denying it, you must be acknowledging the fact. You are definitely a guy, Shiki-san." 

"Azaka!" 

Dear lord. Unable to contain myself, I ended up jumping in. 

These kind of questions need to be ignored, but in this particular case I wasn't in my right mind. 

I got up confidently enough, but no suitable words come to mind. Without another word, I sat down again. ... I felt like a soldier from some defeated army. 

"Don't fuss over unimportant details, you." 

In a very angry voice, Shiki gives Azaka a reply. Seeing as how she's rubbing her temple with one hand, it could be that she's trying contain her temper. 

"Really? But this is a very important matter." 

Like Shiki, who is always outwardly cool, Azaka responds coolly as well. With her elbows upon the desk and her fingers laced, Azaka's appearance is that of a chairman conducting a meeting. 

"An important matter, you say. There's not much difference whether I'm a boy or a girl. It doesn't have anything to do with you, Azaka. Or are you trying to pick a fight with me?" 

"Something like that would have been decided from our very first meeting."

It feels like the two are glaring at each other, even though neither is looking at the other person. 

... As for me, I would like to know what had been decided, but this isn't the sort of mood in which I should ask that question. 

"... Azaka. I don't know why you feel you must bring this up again after all this time, but in the hopes that it will be the last time I will say it again. Shiki is a girl, definitely." 

First, I just said that. 

That one statement, which could be wrapped around Azaka's rudeness while restraining Shiki's displeasure - for some reason, it felt like it scraped their nerves even rawer than before. 

"I know something like that. Keep quiet for a second, Nii-san." 

If you know, then why are you asking, you?!

"What I want to ask isn't her physical sex. All I want to confirm is what side her psychological sex leans towards. Although, superficially at least, Shiki-san seems like a man." 

Stressing the word 'seems', Azaka looks at Shiki out of the corner of her eyes. 

Shiki gets more and more disgruntled. 

"If my body's a girl's, it doesn't matter what side my personality is. What will you do if I am a guy, brat?" 

"I wonder, do you want me to introduce you to a girl from Reien?" 

--- Ah. 

Hearing Azaka's words that are no longer dancing around the issue and have become a straight-out challenge, I finally understood. 

That Azaka, is she still not letting go of what happened on that night two years ago? 

The Chinese New Year during my first year of high school. There was a time when I invited Shiki over to my house as we went home after visiting the temple together. Azaka had been at home for once for the winter holidays, and being confronted with Shiki, she fell into a mildly shocked state. That wasn't unexpected, either. At the time, Shiki still had another personality called SHIKI. Coming face to face with Shiki's voice and way of acting, which had been even closer to the picture of a healthy young man, Azaka had fallen ill for a whole day. 

Even so, she had gone too far just now. I can't help her even if she gets beaten up by Shiki. 

"You know, Azaka..." 

At exactly the same time as I stood up again to glare at Azaka, Shiki got up from the sofa. 

"I'll pass. Those Reien bitches, there's not a proper one among them." 

Hn, Shiki snorted, and then she just left the office. 

The navy kimono swishes as it disappears from my field of vision. 

I thought about running after her, but that could all too easily have the effect of pouring oil upon the fire of Shiki's displeasure instead. 

Thanking the gods for the miracle that nothing had happened, I sat down and drained the now-cool coffee in one shot. 

"Pity. In the end, I may have taken a blow instead." 

Tch. Clicking her tongue, Azaka loosens her posture, stretching her arms as she leans her body on the backrest of her chair, as if she had been in a ready-to-fight state until now as well. 

... I've always thought this, but why does Azaka's personality take a turn for the worse whenever she talks with Shiki? 

This time, though, I feel that I can't let things pass without saying something to her. 

"Azaka. What was that just now?" 

"What do you mean, what? It's all because the relationship between Nii-san and Shiki-san isn't clear. Haven't you ever had any thoughts like that? Whether Ryougi Shiki is befriending Nii-san as a girl, or as a guy?" 

While her manner of speech is stern, Azaka's blushing as she talks. Because of that imbalance, I realised the point my little sister was trying to make. 

"Azaka, we call that an idiot's conjecture. Whether Shiki is a girl or a boy, it's not something for us to use as a conversation topic. And furthermore, Shiki is originally a girl, so even if her way of thinking is that of a guy, it doesn't make much difference, does it?" 

Azaka narrows her eyes and glares at me. 

"--- Okay then. So what Nii-san is saying is that as long as she's a girl there aren't any real problems. In other words, you think that relationships between the same sex are wrong. In that case, answer me this. 

Let's say that here we have a man who has become a woman through a sex change and a woman who has become a man by the same method. In the event that both these people truly love Nii-san, who would you choose? The one whose appearance is that of a woman but is really a man inside, or the one whose body is that of a man but whose mind is a woman's? Now, give me an answer." 

...Azaka's question is... difficult. 

The more you think about it, the more it becomes evident that it is a situation in which you cannot choose either side. 

If you just think about it casually, of course you would choose the person whose sex is female over the one who was originally a woman but now has the body of a man. But that person's mind is still that of a man, so it leads on to mean that she likes Kokutou Mikiya as a man. 

I couldn't trivialize the matter to the point where I was able to think that a person's sex didn't matter in love. In that case, however, it means that I recognize men and women only by their outward appearance, so I start to feel that I'm an ugly person inside. On top of that, relationships between the same sex are prohibited from the beginning, so a situation in which a man loves Kokutou Mikiya as a man isn't acceptable either. Then the one I choose would be the one who likes me as a woman, but that person's sex is male --- Ahah, why do I have to hurt my head over a question like this?! 

... Wait a second. This, isn't there something paradoxical about it from the start? Although you don't accept a relationship between people of the same sex, either choice has the trap of being a same-sex relationship. 

When I realized that and lifted my head, Touko-san was holding in a laugh as if she found the whole matter amusing. 

"--- That's unfair, Azaka. This is the famous question in which「Truth and Lies co-exist」!"

"Yes, you are right. It's the famous Euphemenide's Paradox." 

"True, to Kokutou it's a source of a devastating paradox. You guys really don't let things get boring for me. Is the Kokutou family all like this, Azaka?" 

In stark contrast to the still laughing Touko-san, Azaka is looking this way with an earnest expression on her face. ... So that was it. This girl was worrying about me in her own fashion. In that case, since Shiki herself wasn't clear on the subject, I at least have to clearly state my opinion on the subject. 

"... Yeah, I think I understand what you're trying to say, Azaka. It's just that I don't particularly mind which way Shiki leans. Even if you were to say that Shiki was SHIKI, I don't think I would feel any different." 

When I said that while scratching my cheek to hide my embarrassment, Azaka got angry and jumped up from her seat. 

"--- So are you saying it's okay even if you are going out with SHIKI?" 

"... Uhm. Well, yeah." 

Suddenly, something bulky slammed into my face. 

"That's too filthy --- !" 

Dadadada, the sound of someone running out. 

By the time I thought, 'Ah, that book Azaka was reading until just now was what came flying', I was alone in the office with Touko-san. 

Shiki had left after getting angry with Azaka, and Azaka had just run out. 

As for me, I was glaring at Touko-san, who was still laughing as I gingerly felt my aching face. 

<center>* * *</center>

And so, two hours passed and the time came to go home. 

Neither Shiki nor Azaka came back, so I thought about dropping by Shiki's apartment while brewing the coffee that had become a ritual before leaving work. 

"Oh, that's right. Sorry Kokutou, but I need you to do some extra work for me." 

Those kind of worries disappear at the one statement Touko-san san throws my way as we drink the coffee. 

"Extra work? Did you take up some new task?" 

"No, it's not something related to that side. It isn't anything that will get you money. I went out this morning for this, you see, and I heard an interesting story from a detective that I'm indebted to. Kokuto, do you know about Kayamahama's Ogawa [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Mansion]]?" 

"By Kayamahama, you must mean that apartment complex that they built on the reclaimed land. The one they say is a futuristic model or something." 

"Yes that one. Was it 30 minutes by subway from here? It's a neighbourhood that uses land in a posh manner that's unthinkable to us living here in the city. Well you see, back when they were developing that place there was one mansion that I briefly checked out, it seems that there was an uncanny incident there. 

At about 10 o'clock last night, an office worker in her 20's got mugged in the street. The victim was a woman, so it was probably a rape attempt. Unfortunately the victim got stabbed with a knife. The criminal fled down the street, but the victim couldn't do that. The victim who was stabbed in the abdomen didn't even have a cellphone. The crime scene was the mansion complex too. Which meant there wasn't any reason to expect there to be any shops nearby, and if it's ten at night there are hardly any people going by. So as she bled out she went into the nearest mansion to ask for help. 

But, that mansion didn't use the 1st and 2nd floors. They say that it's only from the 3rd floor that the mansion is inhabited. By the time the woman got to the third floor using the elevator she knew she had reached her body's limit. She screamed for someone to help her from that location for about ten minutes, but none of the mansion's residents heard her, and at 11 PM she died." 

... It's a tragic story. 

These days as mansions get larger and larger there is increasingly less contact between neighbours. Or rather it seems that there is an unspoken rule in the city now that ignoring others is polite. 

I remember hearing a story similar to the one just now from a friend of mine. Where one night screams could be heard from the floor below but not one person went to help, when morning came around they found that the child in that family had been killed by the parents. Apparently the other mansion residents had heard but ignored it thinking that it was someone playing around. 

"The problem starts from there. They say that the victim’s cries for help could be heard even from the mansion next door. Not screams but the sound of a human asking for help. The people in the mansion next door say that they ignored it thinking that since it was so loud the people in that mansion would obviously run over to see what was wrong." 

"What? --- Are you saying that the people in that mansion didn't know?" 

"Yeah, that's what they are saying. Without exception they are all saying that it was a quiet night as usual. Well, if that was all there isn't anything too strange about it, but previously in that mansion there was one more case, just like this one. I didn't hear many details, but that detective came asking for advice since there is something suspicious about something so weird happening twice." 

"... So, you are telling me to investigate the place, boss." 

"No, we will go to the actual location together. What you can do is find a real estate agent and get a list of residents so that you can quickly investigate where they all lived previously. Seeing as it's not something you can earn any money from you can take your time. The deadline being December." 

Replying that I understood, I put my cup of coffee to my lips. 

... For some reason, I got the feeling that I was putting my foot into another weird situation. 

"But you know Kokuto." 

"Yes?" 

"Are you, really fine if Shiki is a guy?" 

... If I was talking to Gakuto right now, I would have sprayed out the coffee I was holding in mouth without hesitation. 

"... Probably not. I do like Shiki, but if I were to express my desires I prefer her as a girl." 

"Eh, what is that. So boring. In that case there's no problem." 

What a disappointment, Touko-san shrugs and lifts the cup of coffee to her mouth. 

... There's, no, problem? 

"Wait a minute. There's no problem, what do you mean by that? That's something that ---." 

"Yeah. Shiki's definitely a girl mentally too. There's no way she wouldn't be a girl when the Yang-aligned SHIKI's already disappeared." 

That's --- But, in that case what's with that manner of speech of hers. Didn't the Shiki from before use a girl's way of talking? 

"Look here, the one that took the male as being the Yang side and the female as the Yin side in the first place is Shiki wasn't it? In that case the story's simple. The idea of Yin-Yang comes from the Taegukdo. Do you know about Korea's Taegukki, no? It's a circle shape." 

'''TN: I have no idea what Taegukdo would be in English so if someone knows pm me with the English equivalent. Or post in the translation notes thread in the forums.'''

If you say a circle shape ... She may be talking about that picture where you take a circle and divide it into two with a wavy line in the middle. That's not a simple half-moon shape but a twisted half-circle that looks as if two souls are trying to grab each other's tails. If we were to describe it as a word the 'の' letter is close to that nuance. 

"If you talk about a taegukdo one half is white, the other half black. And which ever side you look at there is a small hole of the other colour punched into it. A black spot in the white whorl, a white spot in the black whorl. 

You understand right. The black side is the Yin, in other words the woman. This picture is one of halves that are intertwined yet incompatible --- A black and white paradigm." 

"An incompatible --- Paradigm?" 

Those words, I've heard them before. 

"Yeah. It would also be okay to call it Yin-Yang, light and darkness, right and wrong. It refers to a state where something derived from one original object has been split into two. This, in Yin-Yang terms is sometimes known as Ryougi [両儀]." 

"--- Ryougi, that's -" 

"Correct, Shiki's family name. Her dual personality, it was something decided from the remote past. Did she obtain a dual personality because she was a member of the Ryougi family, or was it that they knew a Shiki would be born sometime and took the name Ryougi? Its probably the latter. 

The Ryougi clan is a dynasty just like the Asagami and the Fujoh clans. They are families who are trying to create humans who are beyond human, and used various methods to ensure the birth of an heir. All so that they could pass on their family's 'inheritance'. 

The Ryougi clan is especially interesting. They knew that if they had a supernatural ability they would one day be destroyed by the civilised world. So they thought up a supernatural ability that would let them appear as a normal human being. --- Hey Kokuto. Those people we call professionals, why is it that they can only reach the top in one area?" 

Taken off-guard by the sudden question I was unable to give her an answer. 

Today was a very long day, and the information coming into my head was exceeding my limits. On top of which --- To think that Ryougi was born in such a family, just why ---. 

"That's because no matter how perfect a body, or amount of natural aptitude you are born with, you can only put one talent into one person. The higher you climb the more you are restricted as to what other peaks you can go up, till in the end you cannot climb any others. 

The Ryougi clan solved that problem. By imbuing one body with a countless number of personalities. It's the same as a computer. If you put hundreds upon hundreds of pieces of software into one piece of hardware called Shiki, a professional in all areas is created. That's why their name is Shiki [式]. The Shiki [式] in Shikigami [式神]. The Shiki [式] when you talk about a numerical formula [數式]. A program that fulfils any task required of it perfectly. An empty doll that possesses countless numbers of identities, and can be modified by putting in another personality with different morals, thought patterns, even senses ---." 

Did Shiki already know this. 

... Ahah, she definitely knew. That's why she stubbornly avoided becoming friendlier. Accepting the fact that she wasn't an average person, the fact that she had not been born into a normal family, she had just been trying to live a quiet life ---. 

"This is a continuation on the subject of the Taegukdo, but the division of the chaotic「」into two is [両儀]. In order to further stabilise this, and in order to increase the number of classes available, they divide it into four ??? [四象]. They then further increase the complexity by cutting it into eight ??? [八卦], like this they keep dividing by a base of two. This too could symbolise Shiki's ability. 

But that no longer exists. A bug appeared in the perfect program you see. The Shiki you see now, well there may be slight problems but she is a perfectly normal human with self-awareness." 

Click, the lighter's flame comes up. 

At Touko-san's words I'm going 'Eh?' and asking a question again. 

"Why are you making a face like that? The one that broke it was you. A mentally disturbed person you see, doesn't break down because they don't even dream that they may be mentally disturbed. Shiki was like that before too. Yeah, but a human called Kokuto Mikiya made her aware of the fact. That the existence of the one called Ryougi Shiki was strange. 

Ah --- That's right. If you were to say it was a rescue, you already saved Shiki two years ago didn't you?" 

Here, and Touko-san pushed a cigarette at me. 

I don't smoke but I accepted it and lit up. 

... My first cigarette after being born, it had a very indistinct taste. 

"Ugh, the point of the conversation got twisted. And I didn't really feel like talking about Shiki too. Recently it seems like I keep feeling rushed. My lips are getting loose without me even realising it. Who knows, you might happen to die tomorrow Kokuto." 

"--- That's a little scary coming from you Touko-san. I will be watching out for cars then." 

"Yeah, that might be good. Anyways it's about that Taegukdo. 

I told you how each side in it has a spot right? The black in the white, the white in the black. They call this the Yin in the Yang, and the Yang in the Yin. 

In short, this is referring to those parts in a male that are feminine and those parts in a woman that are masculine. Saying that someone is Yang-aligned just because they use a man's manner of speech is a rash judgement. No matter who it is every human has some traits of the other sex. Men who like to dress up as women are a prominent example. There's no doubt in my mind that the Shiki right now is the Yin-aligned Shiki. The reason she uses a masculine manner of speech is unconscious compensatory behaviour on her part to the dead SHIKI. Maybe because she wants for you at least to remember SHIKI, Kiki, isn't it so cute of her?" 

"---." 

... Ah, now that it's spelled out for me I understand. 

Shiki may talk like a guy now, but she never acts like a guy like she did two years ago. No matter how you look at it her movements and actions are those of a girl's. 

Having lost the half of her called SHIKI she is still in a very weak and vulnerable state. 

Realising that I felt like my heart was being squeezed. 

The Shiki that came out of her sleep of two years was more stable than before, so I had been thinking she was okay. But Shiki was still lonely, no different from back then when it seemed like she could be hurt at any moment. 

I haven't changed either. Even today I feel that I can't leave Shiki alone like that. 

... That's right. Although I couldn't do anything two years ago. 

If something was to happen again, then this time at least I must save her.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 06

2009-04-14T06:46:59Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/6 Spiral Paradox''' 

One night has passed, and it is now noon on the eighth of November. 

The cloudy sky is no different from yesterday, so the lightless office was dark like an abandoned ruin. 

This office is too big for just two people, me and Touko-san, to use. There are enough desks for ten people, and there's a sofa to receive clients too. With a floor of concrete as bare as it was on the day it was poured, and walls that haven't even been papered over, it's not much, but nevertheless, if the numbers were met it would look like a proper workplace. 

But, at this moment, there are only three people here including me. 

Touko-san cannot be seen at the chief's desk beside the window. The medicine she took yesterday must have been effective, because as soon as she woke to find the cold had gone she went out somewhere. 

Inside this office without a director, I was ordering materials with which to decorate the hall where the art exhibition would be starting next month while comparing prices and doing other such things. While holding Touko-san's specifications in one hand, I was doing this in order to obtain the materials needed for her craft at low prices. That person is the type to say, 'It's all right as long as I make it', so she doesn't put in this kind of annoying and bothersome effort. The result is that as her employee, I can't help but do it for her. 

Peering at the list of material suppliers, I ring up this place for that and negotiate, then I move onto yet another shop. Apart from me, who can't decide whether I'm busy or just dedicated, there are two other people here. 

One is the kimono girl sitting blankly on the guest sofa. Needless to say, it's Ryougi Shiki, and while it's not as if she is doing anything, she is sitting there in a polite manner. 

The other person is sitting facing me at the desk furthest away from my own, doing... something. A schoolgirl in a black uniform. The girl with the long hair which is the polar opposite of Shiki's slung over her back, she's called Kokutou Azaka. 

Needless to say, the fact that our last names are the same means we are blood relatives, and as my little sister, Azaka is a first-year high school student. She has a weak constitution, so she was given over to a relative’s house around the time she was ten, for the reason that the city air was not good for her body; after that, we only met a few times. I think the last time I saw her was New Year's Day the year I entered high school. At the time she was still a child, but when I saw the Azaka who returned this summer, I was quite surprised. The little sister I faced for the first time in ages had grown into a lady with such a noble air about her as to make me wonder if her genes came from our family. 

As expected, I think that with just a change of environment from the house where one was born, that thing called a human grows up beautifully. 

Her actions have become spirited, too, so there's no trace of her former frailty. The fact that I wasn't with her during that period of growth from the age of ten to fifteen might be a factor, but for a while I couldn't accept the fact that this girl was my little sister Azaka. 

I steal a glance at Azaka, sitting at the far-off desk. 

With a number of books thicker than a dictionary stacked up beside her, she is studiously and quietly copying down the contents. ... It's the study material Touko-san left for Azaka as she went out. 

The heavy conversation yesterday with Touko-san put me in a gloomy mood as well, but my current greatest worry might be this. 

"Nii-san. I'm going to become Touko-san's apprentice." 

Whatever she was thinking, one month ago Azaka said such a thing. Of course I protested, but my little sister was determined and would not listen to my opinion. 

...Ah, geez. Why does a weird thing like a magician have to come out of an exceedingly normal family like ours? 

"Azaka." 

The phone orders put aside for now, I called to my little sister who was sitting in front of me. 

Azaka finishes writing the sentence she was copying, and then with her black hair rippling about her head, raised her face towards me. Her eyes which are calm and dignified in spite of being full of a proud temper politely look this way as if asking, 'what is it?'. 

"I know that it's a holiday since it's your school's foundation day. But even so, is it okay for you to be in a place like this?" 

"Nii-san, please visit the house once in a while. There was a fire in the school dormitory, so right now it's in ruins. Mother knows that there was a request from the school for students with homes nearby to leave the dormitories if possible for now." 

With eyes and a voice that remind me of the school president from my high school days, she knocks aside my question. 

"A fire --- one big enough for the whole dorm to burn?" 

"Only on the east wing. Half of the first and second year dorms were burnt to ashes. Although it didn't appear on the news because the school hushed it up." 

Azaka says something shocking in a firm tone. 

A fire breaking out at a famous girls' school like Reien is definitely something that could turn into a scandal, regardless of the truth behind the matter. However, if we are talking about Reien, which takes pride in the affection its powerful alumnae feel for the school, they might be able to take care of a fire in secret. 

But for a fire to occur at a school dormitory, it's a horrible thought. It's also easy to imagine from what Azaka said it that it was arson --- by a student, at that. 

“--- Nii-san. You aren’t getting any strange ideas, are you?” 

Azaka glares at me as if she read my mind. 

... Because of that event over the summer, my little sister doesn't like Kokutou Mikiya sticking his head into suspicious events. A silent argument always occurs following a conversation like this, so I decided to try and change the Subject. 

"That aside. What are you doing right now?” 

“It's nothing to do with you, Nii-san.” 

As if she knows what I want to say, Azaka's reply is chilly. 

"It does have something to do with me. I mean, my sister wants to be a wizard! What am I supposed to say to Father?" 

"Oh, you are planning to drop by the house?” 

… Ugh. Little rascal, she knows perfectly well that our parents and I cut our ties after we argued. 

“Speaking of which, Nii-san. A wizard and a mage are different things. How can you not know about that when you work for Touko-san?” 

Now that I think about it, Touko-san does sometimes say something like that. Something along the lines of how it's convenient to advertise yourself as a wizard rather than a magician as it presents the kind of image that you want, but that those are the titles of two completely different things, or something like that. 

“Ah, I did hear that before. But there wasn't much difference that I could see. They both use suspicious magic.” 

“Magic and sorcery are different. 
The art we call sorcery, it's definitely something outside our everyday reality. In the end, though, it's still nothing more than making something that is possible normally happen under extraordinary circumstances. Should I give you an example?” 

Azaka walked over to Touko-san's desk, then picked up a letter opener that was lying there. A piece of silverware of excellent craftsmanship, it's one of Touko-san’s most frequently handled items. 

Taking out an unneeded document, Azaka writes something on it with the knife. Suddenly --- spewing thick clouds of smoke, the document begins to burn away. 

“….” 

Unable to speak, I just stared at the scene. Touko-san had done something of the like (although on a larger scale) before, but I didn't know what to say at seeing my little sister do that sort of thing. 

“--- Stop that. That, is there some kind of trick to it?” 

“Of course there is. It might look amazing to someone who didn't know about it, but it's really nothing special. What I did just now doesn’t even qualify as an ability. If you are going to set something on fire, a disposable lighter will do the trick. Whether you do it with a lighter or a finger, the fact that you are setting an object on fire is the same. That kind of thing, it's not miraculous at all, is it? Do you understand, Nii-san? Sorcery is like that.” 

Azaka continues on confidently. 

In short, magic seems to be equivalent to a substitute good for civilization. No, from what Azaka said, it may be more accurate to say it has been overtaken by civilization.

“Take making it rain, for example. Whether it's through science or magic, the result is indistinguishable. It's just that the method is different; the amount of effort that goes into it is nearly the same. Sorcery may appear to be the work of an instant, but the preparatory steps required are extensive. If you take the time and money spent, it’s nearly equivalent to making the rainclouds with science. In the past, that really was something close to a miracle. By today's standards, however, it's not a miracle or anything of the sort. Previously, any mage that could turn a whole village to ashes was hailed as a wizard, but these days if you have money, that's something anyone can do. All that is required is to throw one missile.”

That method would actually be much faster and more effective, Azaka adds. 

'''TN: Next paragraph was VERY weird so translation was a bit difficult, I'll rework it when I do the final version.'''

“Sorcery is nothing more than making possible through your own strength what can be done now after spending a mind-boggling amount of time on the problem. It might be so even if you look at it academically. Rather than looking/thinking for decades in order to obtain the truth, it might be faster to go to the moon and look/think there. It's frustrating, but sorcery is of the 'taboo ritual'(秘儀禁忌) type, so it cannot achieve miracles.  --- A miracle is something beyond the powers of humanity, isn't it? Something currently unachievable in this world no matter how much money you throw at it. The ones who can make those things are called wizards, and their art, magic.” 

Something humans can't do yet. That is magic, is what Azaka said. 

“Then, wouldn't there have been more wizards than mages in the past? Since people in those days wouldn’t have had lighters or missiles.” 

"You are right. That is why a wizard was a feared figure in the past, and why being one could even be called a job. These days, though, it's different, isn't it? Strictly speaking, they aren't needed, the things called mages. These days, magic itself is disappearing. After all, you can count on your fingers the number of things that are impossible for humanity, can't you? Whatever the case, they say that there are only about five wizards in the world today." 

... Sure enough. With those meanings there would be a difference between mages and wizards. If we are talking about things that humanity can't do currently, the only things would be the control of time and space. Seeing the future or the past isn't reliable, but this is a time when such things are becoming possible, so impossibilities really are able to be counted on one hand. 

Someday --- humanity will eliminate the very existence of magic. Kind of like how a child, who became a scientist because he was intrigued by a number of events he thought miraculous, loses that sense of wonder as he comes to think of those events as simple phenomena in the course of his research. 

"Hmm. In that case, wouldn't the last magic be something like the power to make everyone happy?" 

Umm. I can't say I know much about all this. 

"----." 

For some reason, Azaka has shut herself up. 

She appeared to look this way, with a face as if she was looking at something unexpected, but suddenly turns away. 

"... Magic is something that can't be reached. And I never wanted to be a wizard. Learning sorcery is just for the purpose of achieving my goals." 

"Really? So magic is out, but if it's sorcery you will learn it? That sounds like what you just said, Azaka." 

When I summed up the talk by coming to that conclusion, Azaka shakes her head, and says no. 

"What have you been listening to, Nii-san? 

Sorcery was magic too, in the past. All that happened was that humanity caught up to it, so its learning and use has become possible with effort. 

... It's frustrating, but I don't have any built-up history like a mage's family heritage. Those people we call mages are families who build up their blood and history. The first of them would have been simple academics too. The mysteries that they have learned, and the strength they built up, they pass those on to the next generation. Their descendants continue their work, and pass it on to their own descendants. --- In this way, they repeat an endless cycle as they try to approach the bounds of magic. Touko-san seems to be the sixth generation, but apparently the third generation heir of their family was an incredible genius and discovered some amazing things. I think Touko-san's gifts are a result of carrying that thick blood as well. People like me who are just starting to learn magic now can't become mages that easily." 

"Hmm. Sounds like you are going to find it tough, for many reasons." 

Mmm, I suddenly understood something. 

Thick blood --- the power of your bloodline. 

That's true for any family. To us it may be our many relatives, or the wealth you have inherited. 

But, in the end, that --- 

"Oii, then what are you doing? Ours is a normal family. Never mind magic, we've never even dipped into Buddhism. Wouldn't it be that we can't learn things like magic?" 

"That's correct, but apparently we have the potential. According to Sensei, the delicacy shown when I ignite something isn't very common." 

Azaka speaks as if she's sulking. 

... Ah, geez, what good is being able to set things on fire going to do her? It could even be that this brat was the one responsible for the fire in the student dormitory. 

"Hey, you said it yourself that an ability that ends with one generation is useless. Then whatever you do is pointless. Even if you try to become a mage instead of a wizard, it will end up no different in the end. If you don't come back to a normal path quickly, you won't even be able to find a job." 

It's hard finding jobs these days as it is. 

Azaka immediately tried to refute that statement. 

Before that could happen --- an even more offensive piece of dialogue came leaping into the office with the sound of footsteps. 

"No, getting a job won't be a problem. With that level of skill at her age, in just two years' time she'll be getting offers left and right. She could even be hired as a first-class curator." 

With a loud whuffing noise, the door opens and Touko-san enters the room. 

<center>* * *</center>

Having shed her cold, Touko-san walks over to the chief's desk so briskly that you wonder if she was ever sick. 

Sitting down after hanging her coat on the chair, she looked at her desk and frowned. Probably because the location of the letter opener was different from before. 

"Azaka, I told you not to use someone else's things. A person becomes dull if they rely upon tools. I suppose it was because you didn't want to fail in front of Kokutou, right?" 

"--- yes, you are right." 

Upon being reprimanded by Touko-san, Azaka replies clearly even as her cheeks become red with embarrassment. ... It's those things about her that deserve to be admired, even if she is my little sister. 

"Well, you were having a pretty interesting talk. Weren't you disinterested in sorcery before, Kokutou?" 

"Of course I was, but... Oh, by the way, Touko-san. Do you remember yesterday?" 

"Eh?" Having taken off her glasses, Touko-san cocks her head in confusion. 

...That already mysterious conversation from last night, the one who began it doesn't remember talking about it. 

Touko-san pulls out a cigarette and takes a puff as she holds it in her mouth. 

"Anyway, Azaka. Why are you telling such things to Kokutou? Concealment and secrecy are the greatest prerequisites for sorcery. ... Although, I suppose there wouldn't be any problems if the person you are talking to is Kokutou." 

"What's okay if it's me?" 

"You won't understand even if we tell you. There's no reason for the secret to escape either. Since you are the type that knows how to choose the topic depending on the person. You wouldn't talk about that kind of thing with a normal human." 

"That may be so, but --- Is it really not good for a sorcerer to be exposed to others?" 

"Indeed, it's bad. Although it wouldn't really matter socially, the power of your sorcery falls. Do you know the origin of the word 'mystery', Kokutou?" 

Touko-san asked that as she brought her body forward on the desk. 

"When you say mystery, do you mean the sort of mystery in mystery novels?" 

"In a way. Not the detective novel sort, but mystery in the mystical sense." 

"Yeah, I do. It's originally Greek, not English." 

"... Well, that's true. In Greek it means to close something. Signifying stagnation, concealment, and self-completion. You see, a mystery has meaning in the fact that it is a mystery. Keeping it hidden is a nature of the technique. A sorcery that has had its nature revealed can't become a mystery, no matter what kind of supernatural methods it uses. It's nothing more than another method. Once that happens, that sorcery instantly becomes weaker. 

Sorcery was originally magic too. In short, there was no question that the strength was pulled out from the origin that was its source. Should we imagine for a moment that there was something along the lines of a 'mystery that makes you rich'? Let's say that this has a strength of 10. If only one person knows it, they can use the entire force of 10 of its power. But if two people know it, that it gets halved into two units of 5 and gets used like that. See, it's gotten weaker, hasn't it? The way of expressing it may be different, but I think that this is a fundamental rule in regards to everything in this universe." 

I can't understand all of what Touko-san is saying, but I think I get the point she is trying to convey. 

If concealment and obscurement is the law of existence that thing called sorcery exists by, I understand why mages would be reluctant to reveal their sorcery in front of others. 

"In that case, you must do as you please where others can't see you, Touko-san." 

"Nope, I don't." 

Zkk, Touko-san started talking as she stubbed out the cigarette in her ashtray. 

"I wouldn't have a choice in a battle between mages, but otherwise I don't use it even if I'm alone. The only time I use sorcerous techniques is when it's required for a ritual, or in a ceremony in order to proceed to the next level. 

Some time around the medieval era or so, an organization called the Association was formed. Because of their excessive regulation of sorcery, the Association foresaw the degeneration of mages. So they took the power of their organization and turned sorcery itself into something that is never revealed. What they did was to take a mystery that was visible and turn it into a mystery that no one knew about. As a result, mystery began to disappear from society. 

In order to strictly enforce this, the Association made some pretty byzantine rules. 

For example, if a mage pulls a civilian into a magical phenomenon, the association will dispatch an assassin to kill that mage. This is done to destroy the entity that is harming the larger community of mages. ... That's probably where the myth that a mage that reveals himself to people loses his power came from. 

The Association tried to stop the degeneration of sorcery by reinforcing the attribute of concealment, and as a result, those mages that belonged to the Association came to not throw their sorcery around with abandon. 

There were mages who resented those restrictions and retreated into the countryside, but the Association holds enormous amounts of academic works and lands. Most of what a mage requires to live as a mage is monopolized by the Association. To not belong to the Association was to be the same as being the outcast in a village. If you wanted to do an experiment, all the territories where the node lines met were owned by the Association, and if you tried to learn sorcery, you couldn't obtain any texts, so you couldn't learn anything. Therefore, a mage who was not a member of the Association could not practice sorcery even if they wanted to. That's the power of a multitude. In that respect, it's very impressive." 

"Uh, Touko-san. In that case, does that mean I would have to join the Association too...?" 

Azaka's hesitantly interrupting voice somehow held a note of unease. 

"You don't have to, but doing so would be more convenient. It's not as if you can't come out once you go in. You are free to leave that place when you wish. Since they regard the fact that they aren't rulers very seriously." 

"But in that case there's no meaning to their extraordinary levels of concealment. Sorcery would spread if those who have learned magic enter the outside world." 

Upon hearing Azaka's reasonable opinion, Touko-san goes, Ahhh, and nods. 

"That's true. Actually, there are a lot of people who plan to study at the Association and gain power, then leave for the countryside. Such thoughts tend to disappear after about ten years, though. Because the Association is the optimal environment for leaning sorcery. To go down to the countryside when everything a mage needs is already around you, no one does that kind of stupid thing '''(TN: Lol. Look who's talking, although I suppose most mages don't have seal orders upon their persons)'''. Studying sorcery is the foremost objective of a mage. They don't think about using their power and the things they've learned. If they have that kind of time to spare, they use it to approach an even higher level of mystery. But since Azaka has a fundamentally different objective from us, you don't need to worry about being infected with the Association's poison even if you decide to join. If you are interested in reaching higher levels, it's a place that might be worth looking into." 

Azaka knits her eyebrows together as if that's troublesome. In the end, it appears as though Azaka herself has no interest it doing something like that. To me, who doesn't like the idea of his little sister studying abroad in a suspicious place like that, Azaka's pondering comes as a welcome relief. 

"... I'll just ask one thing. What do you mean when you say that secrets are kept even within that Association?" 

Unexpectedly, I hear something from the sofa. 

Over there is Shiki, who has been sitting there since before without a word. She's the type of person who doesn't get involved in a conversation that she's not interested in, so until now she had been staring at the scenery outside the window. 

"--- There is that. A mage won't reveal the results of his experiments even within the Association. What the person next to them is researching, what their goals are, and what they have obtained are all a mystery. The only time a mage will reveal the results of their work is when they are passing it on to their descendants just before they die." 

"Studying for their benefit alone, yet not using that power for their own sake? What purpose is there in a life like that, Touko? Is it that the goal is to learn, and the process is to learn too? If the only things you have are the beginning and the end, that's the same as having a zero." 

... As usual, Shiki talks like a guy with that fine and clear feminine voice of hers. 

Touko-san appeared to have a faint bitter smile on her face, as if Shiki's biting remarks had hit a nerve somewhere. 

"There is a goal. However, what you said is correct too. A mage is pursuing a zero. His life is pointing towards something that never existed in the first place. 

A mage's ultimate goal, you see, is to reach the 'maelstrom of origins'. It's also called the Akashic Record, but it may be better to just regard the edge of the maelstrom as having such properties attached to it. 

The thing called the maelstrom of origins, it is probably the birthplace of everything. All phenomena flow out from it. If you know the origin, the results are naturally produced. To describe it as it is, you could say that it is the 'perfect knowledge'. By creating a standard like perfection or the like, we are ultimately limiting the concept, so even that description is incorrect. But since that the easiest way of defining it, the name stuck. 

Essentially, all the branches of magic that have spread throughout this world are nothing more than one branch of a small river flowing out from this maelstrom. This is the reason that every country has their own traditions and legends. The core is the same, but what decorates the exterior is the background of the one who understood that 'river'. Astrology, alchemy, kabbala, spiritualism, rune, the innumerable researchers. Their origins are the same, so in the end they hold the same final destination in mind. Because, they who have touched the tip of the stream that split off from the maelstrom of origins called magic, they have imagined what lay before --- the shape of the beginning. 

To reach the truth is the ultimate goal of all mages. They don't have any desire for petty things like the meaning of life. All they want is to know the shape of pure truth. They are that collective of people. Those who abandon self in order that they may gaze upon their souls --- the multitude who can never be rewarded for their efforts. The world calls them mages." 

Speaking with a clear voice, Touko-san's gaze is sharper than ever. Her amber eyes flicker as if they are on fire. 

... That may be so, but unfortunately, I can't understand even half of what was just said. 

I only understood one thing from that speech, so I decided to ask her about it. 

"Uh, can I ask something? If there is an objective, wouldn't studying have a meaning as well? Not being able to be compensated ...., Uhm, is it like that? No one has managed to reach it, have they?" 

"Someone did. We know that it exists because somebody managed to get there. Those magics that still exist today are things left behind by the ones who got there. 

But --- Those ones who got to that side never came back. Mages who were great enough to leave their names behind in history were lost at the very moment they got to that point. Whether that place is such a wonderful world, or if it's a world you cannot escape once you get to it. Those are things no one knows. Without getting there themselves, that is. However, reaching it with the efforts of one generation is impossible. The reason mages shed blood during their research, and pass the results of their work to their descendants, is to amplify their magic power. It's nothing but a way of creating a descendant who can reach the maelstrom of origins. You see, many generations of mages have already dreamed of the maelstrom of origins, died, and passed on their work to their children, who in turn added to it and passed it onto their children. There's no end to it. They can never be compensated for it, either. Even if a family that has reached that point were to appear, it would probably be impossible --- because there are meddlers." 

In contrast with her words, which suggest hatred, Touko-san lets loose a dry laugh. In a manner that makes it seems that she thinks it good that there is such a meddler in this world. 

"Well, what I am saying is that it is simply not possible no matter which side you are on. Today's mages can't reach the maelstrom and impose a new system --- a new branch of magic." 

Touko-san says this with a shrug, as if saying 'that's the end of this long story'. 

With that Azaka and I were unable to say anything, but Shiki alone points out the contradiction in Touko-san's story. 

"What strange people. Why do you people continue, even though you know it's beyond you?" 

"Who knows? Maybe all those people who call themselves 'mages' are those who were born without the ability to grasp the concept of 'impossible', or idiots who can't give up." 

Touko-san cleanly acknowledges the statement with a shrug. 

Seeing that, Shiki went, 'What, you already knew', as if she was surprised.

<center>* * *</center>

When an hour or so had passed after the end of the conversation, the office had regained its usual tranquility. 

It was getting to be about three in the afternoon, so as a break from work I brewed some coffee for everyone in the room. After getting some Japanese tea for Azaka, I sat back down at my desk. 

As for my work, the overall schedule was set, and my paycheck for the month looked to be safe. The thought relaxed me as I drank the coffee. 

The sound of people sipping tea could be heard echoing through the quiet office. 

Suddenly, as if she was trying to break the peaceful silence permeating the room, Azaka aimed a preposterous question at Shiki. 

"--- Excuse me. Shiki-san is a guy, isn't he?" 

... Enough to almost make me drop my cup, that was truly a hellish question. 

"---." 

That was true for Shiki, too. Taking her lips off the cup of coffee in her hands, she makes a face which suggests she is offended, but at a loss for words at the same time. In her current state, she has no rebuttal for my idiotic little sister. 

Seeing that as a sign of victory, Azaka continues. 

"Since you aren't denying it, you must be acknowledging the fact. You are definitely a guy, Shiki-san." 

"Azaka!" 

Dear lord. Unable to contain myself, I ended up jumping in. 

These kind of questions need to be ignored, but in this particular case I wasn't in my right mind. 

I got up confidently enough, but no suitable words come to mind. Without another word, I sat down again. ... I felt like a soldier from some defeated army. 

"Don't fuss over unimportant details, you." 

In a very angry voice, Shiki gives Azaka a reply. Seeing as how she's rubbing her temple with one hand, it could be that she's trying contain her temper. 

"Really? But this is a very important matter." 

Like Shiki, who is always outwardly cool, Azaka responds coolly as well. With her elbows upon the desk and her fingers laced, Azaka's appearance is that of a chairman conducting a meeting. 

"An important matter, you say. There's not much difference whether I'm a boy or a girl. It doesn't have anything to do with you, Azaka. Or are you trying to pick a fight with me?" 

"Something like that would have been decided from our very first meeting."

It feels like the two are glaring at each other, even though neither is looking at the other person. 

... As for me, I would like to know what had been decided, but this isn't the sort of mood in which I should ask that question. 

"... Azaka. I don't know why you feel you must bring this up again after all this time, but in the hopes that it will be the last time I will say it again. Shiki is a girl, definitely." 

First, I just said that. 

That one statement, which could be wrapped around Azaka's rudeness while restraining Shiki's displeasure - for some reason, it felt like it scraped their nerves even rawer than before. 

"I know something like that. Keep quiet for a second, Nii-san." 

If you know, then why are you asking, you?!

"What I want to ask isn't her physical sex. All I want to confirm is what side her psychological sex leans towards. Although, superficially at least, Shiki-san seems like a man." 

Stressing the word 'seems', Azaka looks at Shiki out of the corner of her eyes. 

Shiki gets more and more disgruntled. 

"If my body's a girl's, it doesn't matter what side my personality is. What will you do if I am a guy, brat?" 

"I wonder, do you want me to introduce you to a girl from Reien?" 

--- Ah. 

Hearing Azaka's words that are no longer dancing around the issue and have become a straight-out challenge, I finally understood. 

That Azaka, is she still not letting go of what happened on that night two years ago? 

The Chinese New Year during my first year of high school. There was a time when I invited Shiki over to my house as we went home after visiting the temple together. Azaka had been at home for once for the winter holidays, and being confronted with Shiki, she fell into a mildly shocked state. That wasn't unexpected, either. At the time, Shiki still had another personality called SHIKI. Coming face to face with Shiki's voice and way of acting, which had been even closer to the picture of a healthy young man, Azaka had fallen ill for a whole day. 

Even so, she had gone too far just now. I can't help her even if she gets beaten up by Shiki. 

"You know, Azaka..." 

At exactly the same time as I stood up again to glare at Azaka, Shiki got up from the sofa. 

"I'll pass. Those Reien bitches, there's not a proper one among them." 

Hn, Shiki snorted, and then she just left the office. 

The navy kimono swishes as it disappears from my field of vision. 

I thought about running after her, but that could all too easily have the effect of pouring oil upon the fire of Shiki's displeasure instead. 

Thanking the gods for the miracle that nothing had happened, I sat down and drained the now-cool coffee in one shot. 

"Pity. In the end, I may have taken a blow instead." 

Tch. Clicking her tongue, Azaka loosens her posture, stretching her arms as she leans her body on the backrest of her chair, as if she had been in a ready-to-fight state until now as well. 

... I've always thought this, but why does Azaka's personality take a turn for the worse whenever she talks with Shiki? 

This time, though, I feel that I can't let things pass without saying something to her. 

"Azaka. What was that just now?" 

"What do you mean, what? It's all because the relationship between Nii-san and Shiki-san isn't clear. Haven't you ever had any thoughts like that? Whether Ryougi Shiki is befriending Nii-san as a girl, or as a guy?" 

While her manner of speech is stern, Azaka's blushing as she talks. Because of that imbalance, I realised the point my little sister was trying to make. 

"Azaka, we call that an idiot's conjecture. Whether Shiki is a girl or a boy, it's not something for us to use as a conversation topic. And furthermore, Shiki is originally a girl, so even if her way of thinking is that of a guy, it doesn't make much difference, does it?" 

Azaka narrows her eyes and glares at me. 

"--- Okay then. So what Nii-san is saying is that as long as she's a girl there aren't any real problems. In other words, you think that relationships between the same sex are wrong. In that case, answer me this. 

Let's say that here we have a man who has become a woman through a sex change and a woman who has become a man by the same method. In the event that both these people truly love Nii-san, who would you choose? The one whose appearance is that of a woman but is really a man inside, or the one whose body is that of a man but whose mind is a woman's? Now, give me an answer." 

...Azaka's question is... difficult. 

The more you think about it, the more it becomes evident that it is a situation in which you cannot choose either side. 

If you just think about it casually, of course you would choose the person whose sex is female over the one who was originally a woman but now has the body of a man. But that person's mind is still that of a man, so it leads on to mean that she likes Kokutou Mikiya as a man. 

I couldn't trivialize the matter to the point where I was able to think that a person's sex didn't matter in love. In that case, however, it means that I recognize men and women only by their outward appearance, so I start to feel that I'm an ugly person inside. On top of that, relationships between the same sex are prohibited from the beginning, so a situation in which a man loves Kokutou Mikiya as a man isn't acceptable either. Then the one I choose would be the one who likes me as a woman, but that person's sex is male --- Ahah, why do I have to hurt my head over a question like this?! 

... Wait a second. This, isn't there something paradoxical about it from the start? Although you don't accept a relationship between people of the same sex, either choice has the trap of being a same-sex relationship. 

When I realized that and lifted my head, Touko-san was holding in a laugh as if she found the whole matter amusing. 

"--- That's unfair, Azaka. This is the famous question in which「Truth and Lies co-exist」!"

"Yes, you are right. It's the famous Euphemenide's Paradox." 

"True, to Kokutou it's a source of a devastating paradox. You guys really don't let things get boring for me. Is the Kokutou family all like this, Azaka?" 

In stark contrast to the still laughing Touko-san, Azaka is looking this way with an earnest expression on her face. ... So that was it. This girl was worrying about me in her own fashion. In that case, since Shiki herself wasn't clear on the subject, I at least have to clearly state my opinion on the subject. 

"... Yeah, I think I understand what you're trying to say, Azaka. It's just that I don't particularly mind which way Shiki leans. Even if you were to say that Shiki was SHIKI, I don't think I would feel any different." 

When I said that while scratching my cheek to hide my embarrassment, Azaka got angry and jumped up from her seat. 

"--- So are you saying it's okay even if you are going out with SHIKI?" 

"... Uhm. Well, yeah." 

Suddenly, something bulky slammed into my face. 

"That's too filthy --- !" 

Dadadada, the sound of someone running out. 

By the time I thought, 'Ah, that book Azaka was reading until just now was what came flying', I was alone in the office with Touko-san. 

Shiki had left after getting angry with Azaka, and Azaka had just run out. 

As for me, I was glaring at Touko-san, who was still laughing as I gingerly felt my aching face. 

<center>* * *</center>

And so, two hours passed and the time came to go home. 

Neither Shiki nor Azaka came back, so I thought about dropping by Shiki's apartment while brewing the coffee that had become a ritual before leaving work. 

"Oh, that's right. Sorry Kokutou, but I need you to do some extra work for me." 

Those kind of worries disappear at the one statement Touko-san san throws my way as we drink the coffee. 

"Extra work? Did you take up some new task?" 

"No, it's not something related to that side. It isn't anything that will get you money. I went out this morning for this, you see, and I heard an interesting story from a detective that I'm indebted to. Kokuto, do you know about Kayamahama's Ogawa Mansion?" 

"By Kayamahama, you must mean that apartment complex that they built on the reclaimed land. The one they say is a futuristic model or something." 

"Yes that one. Was it 30 minutes by subway from here? It's a neighbourhood that uses land in a posh manner that's unthinkable to us living here in the city. Well you see, back when they were developing that place there was one mansion that I briefly checked out, it seems that there was an uncanny incident there. 

At about 10 o'clock last night, an office worker in her 20's got mugged in the street. The victim was a woman, so it was probably a rape attempt. Unfortunately the victim got stabbed with a knife. The criminal fled down the street, but the victim couldn't do that. The victim who was stabbed in the abdomen didn't even have a cellphone. The crime scene was the mansion complex too. Which meant there wasn't any reason to expect there to be any shops nearby, and if it's ten at night there are hardly any people going by. So as she bled out she went into the nearest mansion to ask for help. 

But, that mansion didn't use the 1st and 2nd floors. They say that it's only from the 3rd floor that the mansion is inhabited. By the time the woman got to the third floor using the elevator she knew she had reached her body's limit. She screamed for someone to help her from that location for about ten minutes, but none of the mansion's residents heard her, and at 11 PM she died." 

... It's a tragic story. 

These days as mansions get larger and larger there is increasingly less contact between neighbours. Or rather it seems that there is an unspoken rule in the city now that ignoring others is polite. 

I remember hearing a story similar to the one just now from a friend of mine. Where one night screams could be heard from the floor below but not one person went to help, when morning came around they found that the child in that family had been killed by the parents. Apparently the other mansion residents had heard but ignored it thinking that it was someone playing around. 

"The problem starts from there. They say that the victim’s cries for help could be heard even from the mansion next door. Not screams but the sound of a human asking for help. The people in the mansion next door say that they ignored it thinking that since it was so loud the people in that mansion would obviously run over to see what was wrong." 

"What? --- Are you saying that the people in that mansion didn't know?" 

"Yeah, that's what they are saying. Without exception they are all saying that it was a quiet night as usual. Well, if that was all there isn't anything too strange about it, but previously in that mansion there was one more case, just like this one. I didn't hear many details, but that detective came asking for advice since there is something suspicious about something so weird happening twice." 

"... So, you are telling me to investigate the place, boss." 

"No, we will go to the actual location together. What you can do is find a real estate agent and get a list of residents so that you can quickly investigate where they all lived previously. Seeing as it's not something you can earn any money from you can take your time. The deadline being December." 

Replying that I understood, I put my cup of coffee to my lips. 

... For some reason, I got the feeling that I was putting my foot into another weird situation. 

"But you know Kokuto." 

"Yes?" 

"Are you, really fine if Shiki is a guy?" 

... If I was talking to Gakuto right now, I would have sprayed out the coffee I was holding in mouth without hesitation. 

"... Probably not. I do like Shiki, but if I were to express my desires I prefer her as a girl." 

"Eh, what is that. So boring. In that case there's no problem." 

What a disappointment, Touko-san shrugs and lifts the cup of coffee to her mouth. 

... There's, no, problem? 

"Wait a minute. There's no problem, what do you mean by that? That's something that ---." 

"Yeah. Shiki's definitely a girl mentally too. There's no way she wouldn't be a girl when the Yang-aligned SHIKI's already disappeared." 

That's --- But, in that case what's with that manner of speech of hers. Didn't the Shiki from before use a girl's way of talking? 

"Look here, the one that took the male as being the Yang side and the female as the Yin side in the first place is Shiki wasn't it? In that case the story's simple. The idea of Yin-Yang comes from the Taegukdo. Do you know about Korea's Taegukki, no? It's a circle shape." 

'''TN: I have no idea what Taegukdo would be in English so if someone knows pm me with the English equivalent. Or post in the translation notes thread in the forums.'''

If you say a circle shape ... She may be talking about that picture where you take a circle and divide it into two with a wavy line in the middle. That's not a simple half-moon shape but a twisted half-circle that looks as if two souls are trying to grab each other's tails. If we were to describe it as a word the 'の' letter is close to that nuance. 

"If you talk about a taegukdo one half is white, the other half black. And which ever side you look at there is a small hole of the other colour punched into it. A black spot in the white whorl, a white spot in the black whorl. 

You understand right. The black side is the Yin, in other words the woman. This picture is one of halves that are intertwined yet incompatible --- A black and white paradigm." 

"An incompatible --- Paradigm?" 

Those words, I've heard them before. 

"Yeah. It would also be okay to call it Yin-Yang, light and darkness, right and wrong. It refers to a state where something derived from one original object has been split into two. This, in Yin-Yang terms is sometimes known as Ryougi [両儀]." 

"--- Ryougi, that's -" 

"Correct, Shiki's family name. Her dual personality, it was something decided from the remote past. Did she obtain a dual personality because she was a member of the Ryougi family, or was it that they knew a Shiki would be born sometime and took the name Ryougi? Its probably the latter. 

The Ryougi clan is a dynasty just like the Asagami and the Fujoh clans. They are families who are trying to create humans who are beyond human, and used various methods to ensure the birth of an heir. All so that they could pass on their family's 'inheritance'. 

The Ryougi clan is especially interesting. They knew that if they had a supernatural ability they would one day be destroyed by the civilised world. So they thought up a supernatural ability that would let them appear as a normal human being. --- Hey Kokuto. Those people we call professionals, why is it that they can only reach the top in one area?" 

Taken off-guard by the sudden question I was unable to give her an answer. 

Today was a very long day, and the information coming into my head was exceeding my limits. On top of which --- To think that Ryougi was born in such a family, just why ---. 

"That's because no matter how perfect a body, or amount of natural aptitude you are born with, you can only put one talent into one person. The higher you climb the more you are restricted as to what other peaks you can go up, till in the end you cannot climb any others. 

The Ryougi clan solved that problem. By imbuing one body with a countless number of personalities. It's the same as a computer. If you put hundreds upon hundreds of pieces of software into one piece of hardware called Shiki, a professional in all areas is created. That's why their name is Shiki [式]. The Shiki [式] in Shikigami [式神]. The Shiki [式] when you talk about a numerical formula [數式]. A program that fulfils any task required of it perfectly. An empty doll that possesses countless numbers of identities, and can be modified by putting in another personality with different morals, thought patterns, even senses ---." 

Did Shiki already know this. 

... Ahah, she definitely knew. That's why she stubbornly avoided becoming friendlier. Accepting the fact that she wasn't an average person, the fact that she had not been born into a normal family, she had just been trying to live a quiet life ---. 

"This is a continuation on the subject of the Taegukdo, but the division of the chaotic「」into two is [両儀]. In order to further stabilise this, and in order to increase the number of classes available, they divide it into four ??? [四象]. They then further increase the complexity by cutting it into eight ??? [八卦], like this they keep dividing by a base of two. This too could symbolise Shiki's ability. 

But that no longer exists. A bug appeared in the perfect program you see. The Shiki you see now, well there may be slight problems but she is a perfectly normal human with self-awareness." 

Click, the lighter's flame comes up. 

At Touko-san's words I'm going 'Eh?' and asking a question again. 

"Why are you making a face like that? The one that broke it was you. A mentally disturbed person you see, doesn't break down because they don't even dream that they may be mentally disturbed. Shiki was like that before too. Yeah, but a human called Kokuto Mikiya made her aware of the fact. That the existence of the one called Ryougi Shiki was strange. 

Ah --- That's right. If you were to say it was a rescue, you already saved Shiki two years ago didn't you?" 

Here, and Touko-san pushed a cigarette at me. 

I don't smoke but I accepted it and lit up. 

... My first cigarette after being born, it had a very indistinct taste. 

"Ugh, the point of the conversation got twisted. And I didn't really feel like talking about Shiki too. Recently it seems like I keep feeling rushed. My lips are getting loose without me even realising it. Who knows, you might happen to die tomorrow Kokuto." 

"--- That's a little scary coming from you Touko-san. I will be watching out for cars then." 

"Yeah, that might be good. Anyways it's about that Taegukdo. 

I told you how each side in it has a spot right? The black in the white, the white in the black. They call this the Yin in the Yang, and the Yang in the Yin. 

In short, this is referring to those parts in a male that are feminine and those parts in a woman that are masculine. Saying that someone is Yang-aligned just because they use a man's manner of speech is a rash judgement. No matter who it is every human has some traits of the other sex. Men who like to dress up as women are a prominent example. There's no doubt in my mind that the Shiki right now is the Yin-aligned Shiki. The reason she uses a masculine manner of speech is unconscious compensatory behaviour on her part to the dead SHIKI. Maybe because she wants for you at least to remember SHIKI, Kiki, isn't it so cute of her?" 

"---." 

... Ah, now that it's spelled out for me I understand. 

Shiki may talk like a guy now, but she never acts like a guy like she did two years ago. No matter how you look at it her movements and actions are those of a girl's. 

Having lost the half of her called SHIKI she is still in a very weak and vulnerable state. 

Realising that I felt like my heart was being squeezed. 

The Shiki that came out of her sleep of two years was more stable than before, so I had been thinking she was okay. But Shiki was still lonely, no different from back then when it seemed like she could be hurt at any moment. 

I haven't changed either. Even today I feel that I can't leave Shiki alone like that. 

... That's right. Although I couldn't do anything two years ago. 

If something was to happen again, then this time at least I must save her.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 06

2009-04-14T06:01:03Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/6 Spiral Paradox''' 

One night has passed, and it is now noon on the eighth of November. 

The cloudy sky is no different from yesterday, so the lightless office was dark like an abandoned ruin. 

This office is too big for just two people, me and Touko-san, to use. There are enough desks for ten people, and there's a sofa to receive clients too. With a floor of concrete as bare as it was on the day it was poured, and walls that haven't even been papered over, it's not much, but nevertheless, if the numbers were met it would look like a proper workplace. 

But, at this moment, there are only three people here including me. 

Touko-san cannot be seen at the chief's desk beside the window. The medicine she took yesterday must have been effective, because as soon as she woke to find the cold had gone she went out somewhere. 

Inside this office without a director, I was ordering materials with which to decorate the hall where the art exhibition would be starting next month while comparing prices and doing other such things. While holding Touko-san's specifications in one hand, I was doing this in order to obtain the materials needed for her craft at low prices. That person is the type to say, 'It's all right as long as I make it', so she doesn't put in this kind of annoying and bothersome effort. The result is that as her employee, I can't help but do it for her. 

Peering at the list of material suppliers, I ring up this place for that and negotiate, then I move onto yet another shop. Apart from me, who can't decide whether I'm busy or just dedicated, there are two other people here. 

One is the kimono girl sitting blankly on the guest sofa. Needless to say, it's Ryougi Shiki, and while it's not as if she is doing anything, she is sitting there in a polite manner. 

The other person is sitting facing me at the desk furthest away from my own, doing... something. A schoolgirl in a black uniform. The girl with the long hair which is the polar opposite of Shiki's slung over her back, she's called Kokutou Azaka. 

Needless to say, the fact that our last names are the same means we are blood relatives, and as my little sister, Azaka is a first-year high school student. She has a weak constitution, so she was given over to a relative’s house around the time she was ten, for the reason that the city air was not good for her body; after that, we only met a few times. I think the last time I saw her was New Year's Day the year I entered high school. At the time she was still a child, but when I saw the Azaka who returned this summer, I was quite surprised. The little sister I faced for the first time in ages had grown into a lady with such a noble air about her as to make me wonder if her genes came from our family. 

As expected, I think that with just a change of environment from the house where one was born, that thing called a human grows up beautifully. 

Her actions have become spirited, too, so there's no trace of her former frailty. The fact that I wasn't with her during that period of growth from the age of ten to fifteen might be a factor, but for a while I couldn't accept the fact that this girl was my little sister Azaka. 

I steal a glance at Azaka, sitting at the far-off desk. 

With a number of books thicker than a dictionary stacked up beside her, she is studiously and quietly copying down the contents. ... It's the study material Touko-san left for Azaka as she went out. 

The heavy conversation yesterday with Touko-san put me in a gloomy mood as well, but my current greatest worry might be this. 

"Nii-san. I'm going to become Touko-san's apprentice." 

Whatever she was thinking, one month ago Azaka said such a thing. Of course I protested, but my little sister was determined and would not listen to my opinion. 

...Ah, geez. Why does a weird thing like a magician have to come out of an exceedingly normal family like ours? 

"Azaka." 

The phone orders put aside for now, I called to my little sister who was sitting in front of me. 

Azaka finishes writing the sentence she was copying, and then with her black hair rippling about her head, raised her face towards me. Her eyes which are calm and dignified in spite of being full of a proud temper politely look this way as if asking, 'what is it?'. 

"I know that it's a holiday since it's your school's foundation day. But even so, is it okay for you to be in a place like this?" 

"Nii-san, please visit the house once in a while. There was a fire in the school dormitory, so right now it's in ruins. Mother knows that there was a request from the school for students with homes nearby to leave the dormitories if possible for now." 

With eyes and a voice that remind me of the school president from my high school days, she knocks aside my question. 

"A fire --- one big enough for the whole dorm to burn?" 

"Only on the east wing. Half of the first and second year dorms were burnt to ashes. Although it didn't appear on the news because the school hushed it up." 

Azaka says something shocking in a firm tone. 

A fire breaking out at a famous girls' school like Reien is definitely something that could turn into a scandal, regardless of the truth behind the matter. However, if we are talking about Reien, which takes pride in the affection its powerful alumnae feel for the school, they might be able to take care of a fire in secret. 

But for a fire to occur at a school dormitory, it's a horrible thought. It's also easy to imagine from what Azaka said it that it was arson --- by a student, at that. 

“--- Nii-san. You aren’t getting any strange ideas, are you?” 

Azaka glares at me as if she read my mind. 

... Because of that event over the summer, my little sister doesn't like Kokutou Mikiya sticking his head into suspicious events. A silent argument always occurs following a conversation like this, so I decided to try and change the Subject. 

"That aside. What are you doing right now?” 

“It's nothing to do with you, Nii-san.” 

As if she knows what I want to say, Azaka's reply is chilly. 

"It does have something to do with me. I mean, my sister wants to be a wizard! What am I supposed to say to Father?" 

"Oh, you are planning to drop by the house?” 

… Ugh. Little rascal, she knows perfectly well that our parents and I cut our ties after we argued. 

“Speaking of which, Nii-san. A wizard and a mage are different things. How can you not know about that when you work for Touko-san?” 

Now that I think about it, Touko-san does sometimes say something like that. Something along the lines of how it's convenient to advertise yourself as a wizard rather than a magician as it presents the kind of image that you want, but that those are the titles of two completely different things, or something like that. 

“Ah, I did hear that before. But there wasn't much difference that I could see. They both use suspicious magic.” 

“Magic and sorcery are different. 
The art we call sorcery, it's definitely something outside our everyday reality. In the end, though, it's still nothing more than making something that is possible normally happen under extraordinary circumstances. Should I give you an example?” 

Azaka walked over to Touko-san's desk, then picked up a letter opener that was lying there. A piece of silverware of excellent craftsmanship, it's one of Touko-san’s most frequently handled items. 

Taking out an unneeded document, Azaka writes something on it with the knife. Suddenly --- spewing thick clouds of smoke, the document begins to burn away. 

“….” 

Unable to speak, I just stared at the scene. Touko-san had done something of the like (although on a larger scale) before, but I didn't know what to say at seeing my little sister do that sort of thing. 

“--- Stop that. That, is there some kind of trick to it?” 

“Of course there is. It might look amazing to someone who didn't know about it, but it's really nothing special. What I did just now doesn’t even qualify as an ability. If you are going to set something on fire, a disposable lighter will do the trick. Whether you do it with a lighter or a finger, the fact that you are setting an object on fire is the same. That kind of thing, it's not miraculous at all, is it? Do you understand, Nii-san? Sorcery is like that.” 

Azaka continues on confidently. 

In short, magic seems to be equivalent to a substitute good for civilization. No, from what Azaka said, it may be more accurate to say it has been overtaken by civilization.

“Take making it rain, for example. Whether it's through science or magic, the result is indistinguishable. It's just that the method is different; the amount of effort that goes into it is nearly the same. Sorcery may appear to be the work of an instant, but the preparatory steps required are extensive. If you take the time and money spent, it’s nearly equivalent to making the rainclouds with science. In the past, that really was something close to a miracle. By today's standards, however, it's not a miracle or anything of the sort. Previously, any mage that could turn a whole village to ashes was hailed as a wizard, but these days if you have money, that's something anyone can do. All that is required is to throw one missile.”

That method would actually be much faster and more effective, Azaka adds. 

'''TN: Next paragraph was VERY weird so translation was a bit difficult, I'll rework it when I do the final version.'''

“Sorcery is nothing more than making possible through your own strength what can be done now after spending a mind-boggling amount of time on the problem. It might be so even if you look at it academically. Rather than looking/thinking for decades in order to obtain the truth, it might be faster to go to the moon and look/think there. It's frustrating, but sorcery is of the 'taboo ritual'(秘儀禁忌) type, so it cannot achieve miracles.  --- A miracle is something beyond the powers of humanity, isn't it? Something currently unachievable in this world no matter how much money you throw at it. The ones who can make those things are called wizards, and their art, magic.” 

Something humans can't do yet. That is magic, is what Azaka said. 

“Then, wouldn't there have been more wizards than mages in the past? Since people in those days wouldn’t have had lighters or missiles.” 

"You are right. That is why a wizard was a feared figure in the past, and why being one could even be called a job. These days, though, it's different, isn't it? Strictly speaking, they aren't needed, the things called mages. These days, magic itself is disappearing. After all, you can count on your fingers the number of things that are impossible for humanity, can't you? Whatever the case, they say that there are only about five wizards in the world today." 

... Sure enough. With those meanings there would be a difference between mages and wizards. If we are talking about things that humanity can't do currently, the only things would be the control of time and space. Seeing the future or the past isn't reliable, but this is a time when such things are becoming possible, so impossibilities really are able to be counted on one hand. 

Someday --- humanity will eliminate the very existence of magic. Kind of like how a child, who became a scientist because he was intrigued by a number of events he thought miraculous, loses that sense of wonder as he comes to think of those events as simple phenomena in the course of his research. 

"Hmm. In that case, wouldn't the last magic be something like the power to make everyone happy?" 

Umm. I can't say I know much about all this. 

"----." 

For some reason, Azaka has shut herself up. 

She appeared to look this way, with a face as if she was looking at something unexpected, but suddenly turns away. 

"... Magic is something that can't be reached. And I never wanted to be a wizard. Learning sorcery is just for the purpose of achieving my goals." 

"Really? So magic is out, but if it's sorcery you will learn it? That sounds like what you just said, Azaka." 

When I summed up the talk by coming to that conclusion, Azaka shakes her head, and says no. 

"What have you been listening to, Nii-san? 

Sorcery was magic too, in the past. All that happened was that humanity caught up to it, so its learning and use has become possible with effort. 

... It's frustrating, but I don't have any built-up history like a mage's family heritage. Those people we call mages are families who build up their blood and history. The first of them would have been simple academics too. The mysteries that they have learned, and the strength they built up, they pass those on to the next generation. Their descendants continue their work, and pass it on to their own descendants. --- In this way, they repeat an endless cycle as they try to approach the bounds of magic. Touko-san seems to be the sixth generation, but apparently the third generation heir of their family was an incredible genius and discovered some amazing things. I think Touko-san's gifts are a result of carrying that thick blood as well. People like me who are just starting to learn magic now can't become mages that easily." 

"Hmm. Sounds like you are going to find it tough, for many reasons." 

Mmm, I suddenly understood something. 

Thick blood --- the power of your bloodline. 

That's true for any family. To us it may be our many relatives, or the wealth you have inherited. 

But, in the end, that --- 

"Oii, then what are you doing? Ours is a normal family. Never mind magic, we've never even dipped into Buddhism. Wouldn't it be that we can't learn things like magic?" 

"That's correct, but apparently we have the potential. According to Sensei, the delicacy shown when I ignite something isn't very common." 

Azaka speaks as if she's sulking. 

... Ah, geez, what good is being able to set things on fire going to do her? It could even be that this brat was the one responsible for the fire in the student dormitory. 

"Hey, you said it yourself that an ability that ends with one generation is useless. Then whatever you do is pointless. Even if you try to become a mage instead of a wizard, it will end up no different in the end. If you don't come back to a normal path quickly, you won't even be able to find a job." 

It's hard finding jobs these days as it is. 

Azaka immediately tried to refute that statement. 

Before that could happen --- an even more offensive piece of dialogue came leaping into the office with the sound of footsteps. 

"No, getting a job won't be a problem. With that level of skill at her age, in just two years' time she'll be getting offers left and right. She could even be hired as a first-class curator." 

With a loud whuffing noise, the door opens and Touko-san enters the room. 

<center>* * *</center>

Having shed her cold, Touko-san walks over to the chief's desk so briskly that you wonder if she was ever sick. 

Sitting down after hanging her coat on the chair, she looked at her desk and frowned. Probably because the location of the letter opener was different from before. 

"Azaka, I told you not to use someone else's things. A person becomes dull if they rely upon tools. I suppose it was because you didn't want to fail in front of Kokutou, right?" 

"--- yes, you are right." 

Upon being reprimanded by Touko-san, Azaka replies clearly even as her cheeks become red with embarrassment. ... It's those things about her that deserve to be admired, even if she is my little sister. 

"Well, you were having a pretty interesting talk. Weren't you disinterested in sorcery before, Kokutou?" 

"Of course I was, but... Oh, by the way, Touko-san. Do you remember yesterday?" 

"Eh?" Having taken off her glasses, Touko-san cocks her head in confusion. 

...That already mysterious conversation from last night, the one who began it doesn't remember talking about it. 

Touko-san pulls out a cigarette and takes a puff as she holds it in her mouth. 

"Anyway, Azaka. Why are you telling such things to Kokutou? Concealment and secrecy are the greatest prerequisites for sorcery. ... Although, I suppose there wouldn't be any problems if the person you are talking to is Kokutou." 

"What's okay if it's me?" 

"You won't understand even if we tell you. There's no reason for the secret to escape either. Since you are the type that knows how to choose the topic depending on the person. You wouldn't talk about that kind of thing with a normal human." 

"That may be so, but --- Is it really not good for a sorcerer to be exposed to others?" 

"Indeed, it's bad. Although it wouldn't really matter socially, the power of your sorcery falls. Do you know the origin of the word 'mystery', Kokutou?" 

Touko-san asked that as she brought her body forward on the desk. 

"When you say mystery, do you mean the sort of mystery in mystery novels?" 

"In a way. Not the detective novel sort, but mystery in the mystical sense." 

"Yeah, I do. It's originally Greek, not English." 

"... Well, that's true. In Greek it means to close something. Signifying stagnation, concealment, and self-completion. You see, a mystery has meaning in the fact that it is a mystery. Keeping it hidden is a nature of the technique. A sorcery that has had its nature revealed can't become a mystery, no matter what kind of supernatural methods it uses. It's nothing more than another method. Once that happens, that sorcery instantly becomes weaker. 

Sorcery was originally magic too. In short, there was no question that the strength was pulled out from the origin that was its source. Should we imagine for a moment that there was something along the lines of a 'mystery that makes you rich'? Let's say that this has a strength of 10. If only one person knows it, they can use the entire force of 10 of its power. But if two people know it, that it gets halved into two units of 5 and gets used like that. See, it's gotten weaker, hasn't it? The way of expressing it may be different, but I think that this is a fundamental rule in regards to everything in this universe." 

I can't understand all of what Touko-san is saying, but I think I get the point she is trying to convey. 

If concealment and obscurement is the law of existence that thing called sorcery exists by, I understand why mages would be reluctant to reveal their sorcery in front of others. 

"In that case, you must do as you please where others can't see you, Touko-san." 

"Nope, I don't." 

Zkk, Touko-san started talking as she stubbed out the cigarette in her ashtray. 

"I wouldn't have a choice in a battle between mages, but otherwise I don't use it even if I'm alone. The only time I use sorcerous techniques is when it's required for a ritual, or in a ceremony in order to proceed to the next level. 

Some time around the medieval era or so, an organization called the Association was formed. Because of their excessive regulation of sorcery, the Association foresaw the degeneration of mages. So they took the power of their organization and turned sorcery itself into something that is never revealed. What they did was to take a mystery that was visible and turn it into a mystery that no one knew about. As a result, mystery began to disappear from society. 

In order to strictly enforce this, the Association made some pretty byzantine rules. 

For example, if a mage pulls a civilian into a magical phenomenon, the association will dispatch an assassin to kill that mage. This is done to destroy the entity that is harming the larger community of mages. ... That's probably where the myth that a mage that reveals himself to people loses his power came from. 

The Association tried to stop the degeneration of sorcery by reinforcing the attribute of concealment, and as a result, those mages that belonged to the Association came to not throw their sorcery around with abandon. 

There were mages who resented those restrictions and retreated into the countryside, but the Association holds enormous amounts of academic works and lands. Most of what a mage requires to live as a mage is monopolized by the Association. To not belong to the Association was to be the same as being the outcast in a village. If you wanted to do an experiment, all the territories where the node lines met were owned by the Association, and if you tried to learn sorcery, you couldn't obtain any texts, so you couldn't learn anything. Therefore, a mage who was not a member of the Association could not practice sorcery even if they wanted to. That's the power of a multitude. In that respect, it's very impressive." 

"Uh, Touko-san. In that case, does that mean I would have to join the Association too...?" 

Azaka's hesitantly interrupting voice somehow held a note of unease. 

"You don't have to, but doing so would be more convenient. It's not as if you can't come out once you go in. You are free to leave that place when you wish. Since they regard the fact that they aren't rulers very seriously." 

"But in that case there's no meaning to their extraordinary levels of concealment. Sorcery would spread if those who have learned magic enter the outside world." 

Upon hearing Azaka's reasonable opinion, Touko-san goes, Ahhh, and nods. 

"That's true. Actually, there are a lot of people who plan to study at the Association and gain power, then leave for the countryside. Such thoughts tend to disappear after about ten years, though. Because the Association is the optimal environment for leaning sorcery. To go down to the countryside when everything a mage needs is already around you, no one does that kind of stupid thing '''(TN: Lol. Look who's talking, although I suppose most mages don't have seal orders upon their persons)'''. Studying sorcery is the foremost objective of a mage. They don't think about using their power and the things they've learned. If they have that kind of time to spare, they use it to approach an even higher level of mystery. But since Azaka has a fundamentally different objective from us, you don't need to worry about being infected with the Association's poison even if you decide to join. If you are interested in reaching higher levels, it's a place that might be worth looking into." 

Azaka knits her eyebrows together as if that's troublesome. In the end, it appears as though Azaka herself has no interest it doing something like that. To me, who doesn't like the idea of his little sister studying abroad in a suspicious place like that, Azaka's pondering comes as a welcome relief. 

"... I'll just ask one thing. What do you mean when you say that secrets are kept even within that Association?" 

Unexpectedly, I hear something from the sofa. 

Over there is Shiki, who has been sitting there since before without a word. She's the type of person who doesn't get involved in a conversation that she's not interested in, so until now she had been staring at the scenery outside the window. 

"--- There is that. A mage won't reveal the results of his experiments even within the Association. What the person next to them is researching, what their goals are, and what they have obtained are all a mystery. The only time a mage will reveal the results of their work is when they are passing it on to their descendants just before they die." 

"Studying for their benefit alone, yet not using that power for their own sake? What purpose is there in a life like that, Touko? Is it that the goal is to learn, and the process is to learn too? If the only things you have are the beginning and the end, that's the same as having a zero." 

... As usual, Shiki talks like a guy with that fine and clear feminine voice of hers. 

Touko-san appeared to have a faint bitter smile on her face, as if Shiki's biting remarks had hit a nerve somewhere. 

"There is a goal. However, what you said is correct too. A mage is pursuing a zero. His life is pointing towards something that never existed in the first place. 

A mage's ultimate goal, you see, is to reach the 'maelstrom of origins'. It's also called the Akashic Record, but it may be better to just regard the edge of the maelstrom as having such properties attached to it. 

The thing called the maelstrom of origins, it is probably the birthplace of everything. All phenomena flow out from it. If you know the origin, the results are naturally produced. To describe it as it is, you could say that it is the 'perfect knowledge'. By creating a standard like perfection or the like, we are ultimately limiting the concept, so even that description is incorrect. But since that the easiest way of defining it, the name stuck. 

Essentially, all the branches of magic that have spread throughout this world are nothing more than one branch of a small river flowing out from this maelstrom. This is the reason that every country has their own traditions and legends. The core is the same, but what decorates the exterior is the background of the one who understood that 'river'. Astrology, alchemy, kabbala, spiritualism, rune, the innumerable researchers. Their origins are the same, so in the end they hold the same final destination in mind. Because, they who have touched the tip of the stream that split off from the maelstrom of origins called magic, they have imagined what lay before --- the shape of the beginning. 

To reach the truth is the ultimate goal of all mages. They don't have any desire for petty things like the meaning of life. All they want is to know the shape of pure truth. They are that collective of people. Those who abandon self in order that they may gaze upon their souls --- the multitude who can never be rewarded for their efforts. The world calls them mages." 

Speaking with a clear voice, Touko-san's gaze is sharper than ever. Her amber eyes flicker as if they are on fire. 

... That may be so, but unfortunately, I can't understand even half of what was just said. 

I only understood one thing from that speech, so I decided to ask her about it. 

"Uh, can I ask something? If there is an objective, wouldn't studying have a meaning as well? Not being able to be compensated ...., Uhm, is it like that? No one has managed to reach it, have they?" 

"Someone did. We know that it exists because somebody managed to get there. Those magics that still exist today are things left behind by the ones who got there. 

But --- Those ones who got to that side never came back. Mages who were great enough to leave their names behind in history were lost at the very moment they got to that point. Whether that place is such a wonderful world, or if it's a world you cannot escape once you get to it. Those are things no one knows. Without getting there themselves, that is. However, reaching it with the efforts of one generation is impossible. The reason mages shed blood during their research, and pass the results of their work to their descendants, is to amplify their magic power. It's nothing but a way of creating a descendant who can reach the maelstrom of origins. You see, many generations of mages have already dreamed of the maelstrom of origins, died, and passed on their work to their children, who in turn added to it and passed it onto their children. There's no end to it. They can never be compensated for it, either. Even if a family that has reached that point were to appear, it would probably be impossible --- because there are meddlers." 

In contrast with her words, which suggest hatred, Touko-san lets loose a dry laugh. In a manner that makes it seems that she thinks it good that there is such a meddler in this world. 

"Well, what I am saying is that it is simply not possible no matter which side you are on. Today's mages can't reach the maelstrom and impose a new system --- a new branch of magic." 

Touko-san says this with a shrug, as if saying 'that's the end of this long story'. 

With that Azaka and I were unable to say anything, but Shiki alone points out the contradiction in Touko-san's story. 

"What strange people. Why do you people continue, even though you know it's beyond you?" 

"Who knows? Maybe all those people who call themselves 'mages' are those who were born without the ability to grasp the concept of 'impossible', or idiots who can't give up." 

Touko-san cleanly acknowledges the statement with a shrug. 

Seeing that, Shiki went, 'What, you already knew', as if she was surprised.

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When an hour or so had passed after the end of the conversation, the office had regained its usual tranquility. 

It was getting to be about three in the afternoon, so as a break from work I brewed some coffee for everyone in the room. After getting some Japanese tea for Azaka, I sat back down at my desk. 

As for my work, the overall schedule was set, and my paycheck for the month looked to be safe. The thought relaxed me as I drank the coffee. 

The sound of people sipping tea could be heard echoing through the quiet office. 

Suddenly, as if she was trying to break the peaceful silence permeating the room, Azaka aimed a preposterous question at Shiki. 

"--- Excuse me. Shiki-san is a guy, isn't he?" 

... Enough to almost make me drop my cup, that was truly a hellish question. 

"---." 

That was true for Shiki, too. Taking her lips off the cup of coffee in her hands, she makes a face which suggests she is offended, but at a loss for words at the same time. In her current state, she has no rebuttal for my idiotic little sister. 

Seeing that as a sign of victory, Azaka continues. 

"Since you aren't denying it, you must be acknowledging the fact. You are definitely a guy, Shiki-san." 

"Azaka!" 

Dear lord. Unable to contain myself, I ended up jumping in. 

These kind of questions need to be ignored, but in this particular case I wasn't in my right mind. 

I got up confidently enough, but no suitable words come to mind. Without another word, I sat down again. ... I felt like a soldier from some defeated army. 

"Don't fuss over unimportant details, you." 

In a very angry voice, Shiki gives Azaka a reply. Seeing as how she's rubbing her temple with one hand, it could be that she's trying contain her temper. 

"Really? But this is a very important matter." 

Like Shiki, who is always outwardly cool, Azaka responds coolly as well. With her elbows upon the desk and her fingers laced, Azaka's appearance is that of a chairman conducting a meeting. 

"An important matter, you say. There's not much difference whether I'm a boy or a girl. It doesn't have anything to do with you, Azaka. Or are you trying to pick a fight with me?" 

"Something like that would have been decided from our very first meeting."

It feels like the two are glaring at each other, even though neither is looking at the other person. 

... As for me, I would like to know what had been decided, but this isn't the sort of mood in which I should ask that question. 

"... Azaka. I don't know why you feel you must bring this up again after all this time, but in the hopes that it will be the last time I will say it again. Shiki is a girl, definitely." 

First, I just said that. 

That one statement, which could be wrapped around Azaka's rudeness while restraining Shiki's displeasure - for some reason, it felt like it scraped their nerves even rawer than before. 

"I know something like that. Keep quiet for a second, Nii-san." 

If you know, then why are you asking, you?!

"What I want to ask isn't her physical sex. All I want to confirm is what side her psychological sex leans towards. Although, superficially at least, Shiki-san seems like a man." 

Stressing the word 'seems', Azaka looks at Shiki out of the corner of her eyes. 

Shiki gets more and more disgruntled. 

"If my body's a girl's, it doesn't matter what side my personality is. What will you do if I am a guy, brat?" 

"I wonder, do you want me to introduce you to a girl from Reien?" 

--- Ah. 

Hearing Azaka's words that are no longer dancing around the issue and have become a straight-out challenge, I finally understood. 

That Azaka, is she still not letting go of what happened on that night two years ago? 

The Chinese New Year during my first year of high school. There was a time when I invited Shiki over to my house as we went home after visiting the temple together. Azaka had been at home for once for the winter holidays, and being confronted with Shiki, she fell into a mildly shocked state. That wasn't unexpected, either. At the time, Shiki still had another personality called SHIKI. Coming face to face with Shiki's voice and way of acting, which had been even closer to the picture of a healthy young man, Azaka had fallen ill for a whole day. 

Even so, she had gone too far just now. I can't help her even if she gets beaten up by Shiki. 

"You know, Azaka..." 

At exactly the same time as I stood up again to glare at Azaka, Shiki got up from the sofa. 

"I'll pass. Those Reien bitches, there's not a proper one among them." 

Hn, Shiki snorted, and then she just left the office. 

The navy kimono swishes as it disappears from my field of vision. 

I thought about running after her, but that could all too easily have the effect of pouring oil upon the fire of Shiki's displeasure instead. 

Thanking the gods for the miracle that nothing had happened, I sat down and drained the now-cool coffee in one shot. 

"Pity. In the end, I may have taken a blow instead." 

Tch. Clicking her tongue, Azaka loosens her posture, stretching her arms as she leans her body on the backrest of her chair, as if she had been in a ready-to-fight state until now as well. 

... I've always thought this, but why does Azaka's personality take a turn for the worse whenever she talks with Shiki? 

This time, though, I feel that I can't let things pass without saying something to her. 

"Azaka. What was that just now?" 

"What do you mean, what? It's all because the relationship between Nii-san and Shiki-san isn't clear. Haven't you ever had any thoughts like that? Whether Ryougi Shiki is befriending Nii-san as a girl, or as a guy?" 

While her manner of speech is stern, Azaka's blushing as she talks. Because of that imbalance, I realised the point my little sister was trying to make. 

"Azaka, we call that an idiot's conjecture. Whether Shiki is a girl or a boy, it's not something for us to use as a conversation topic. And furthermore, Shiki is originally a girl, so even if her way of thinking is that of a guy, it doesn't make much difference, does it?" 

Azaka narrows her eyes and glares at me. 

"--- Okay then. So what Nii-san is saying is that as long as she's a girl there aren't any real problems. In other words, you think that relationships between the same sex are wrong. In that case, answer me this. 

Let's say that here we have a man who has become a woman through a sex change and a woman who has become a man by the same method. In the event that both these people truly love Nii-san, who would you choose? The one whose appearance is that of a woman but is really a man inside, or the one whose body is that of a man but whose mind is a woman's? Now, give me an answer." 

...Azaka's question is... difficult. 

The more you think about it, the more it becomes evident that it is a situation in which you cannot choose either side. 

If you just think about it casually, of course you would choose the person whose sex is female over the one who was originally a woman but now has the body of a man. But that person's mind is still that of a man, so it leads on to mean that she likes Kokutou Mikiya as a man. 

I couldn't trivialize the matter to the point where I was able to think that a person's sex didn't matter in love. In that case, however, it means that I recognize men and women only by their outward appearance, so I start to feel that I'm an ugly person inside. On top of that, relationships between the same sex are prohibited from the beginning, so a situation in which a man loves Kokutou Mikiya as a man isn't acceptable either. Then the one I choose would be the one who likes me as a woman, but that person's sex is male --- Ahah, why do I have to hurt my head over a question like this?! 

... Wait a second. This, isn't there something paradoxical about it from the start? Although you don't accept a relationship between people of the same sex, either choice has the trap of being a same-sex relationship. 

When I realized that and lifted my head, Touko-san was holding in a laugh as if she found the whole matter amusing. 

"--- That's unfair, Azaka. This is the famous question in which「Truth and Lies co-exist」!"

"Yes, you are right. It's the famous Euphemenide's Paradox." 

"True, to Kokutou it's a source of a devastating paradox. You guys really don't let things get boring for me. Is the Kokutou family all like this, Azaka?" 

In stark contrast to the still laughing Touko-san, Azaka is looking this way with an earnest expression on her face. ... So that was it. This girl was worrying about me in her own fashion. In that case, since Shiki herself wasn't clear on the subject, I at least have to clearly state my opinion on the subject. 

"... Yeah, I think I understand what you are trying to say Azaka. It's just that, I don't particularly mind which way Shiki leans towards. Even if you were to say that Shiki was SHIKI I don't think I would feel any different." 

When I said that while scratching my cheek to hide my embarrassment, Azaka got angry jumped up from her position. 

"--- So you are saying it's okay even if you are going out with SHIKI?" 

"... Uhm. Well, yeah." 

Suddenly, something bulky slammed into my face. 

"That's too filthy --- !" 

Dadadada, the sound of someone running out. 

By the time I thought, 'Ah that book Azaka was reading until just now was what came flying', I was alone in the office with Touko-san. 

Shiki had left after getting angry with Azaka, and Azaka had just run out. 

As for me, I was glaring at Touko-san, who was still laughing as I gingerly felt my aching face. 

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And so two hours passed and it became time to go home. 

Neither Shiki nor Azaka came back, so I thought about dropping by Shiki's mansion while brewing the coffee that had become a ritual before leaving work. 

"Oh that's right. Sorry Kokuto, but I need you to do some extra work for me." 

Those kind of worries disappear at the one statement Touko-san san throws my way as we drink the coffee. 

"Extra work? Did you take up some new task?" 

"No, it's not something related to that side. It isn't anything that will get you money. I went out this morning for this you see, and I heard an interesting story from a detective that I'm indebted to. Kokuto, do you know about Kayamahama's Ogawa mansion?" 

"By Kayamahama, you must mean that mansion complex that they built on that recovered land. The one they say is a futuristic model or something." 

"Yes that one. Was it 30 minutes by subway from here? It's a neighbourhood that uses land in a posh manner that's unthinkable to us living here in the city. Well you see, back when they were developing that place there was one mansion that I briefly checked out, it seems that there was an uncanny incident there. 

At about 10 o'clock last night, an office worker in her 20's got mugged in the street. The victim was a woman, so it was probably a rape attempt. Unfortunately the victim got stabbed with a knife. The criminal fled down the street, but the victim couldn't do that. The victim who was stabbed in the abdomen didn't even have a cellphone. The crime scene was the mansion complex too. Which meant there wasn't any reason to expect there to be any shops nearby, and if it's ten at night there are hardly any people going by. So as she bled out she went into the nearest mansion to ask for help. 

But, that mansion didn't use the 1st and 2nd floors. They say that it's only from the 3rd floor that the mansion is inhabited. By the time the woman got to the third floor using the elevator she knew she had reached her body's limit. She screamed for someone to help her from that location for about ten minutes, but none of the mansion's residents heard her, and at 11 PM she died." 

... It's a tragic story. 

These days as mansions get larger and larger there is increasingly less contact between neighbours. Or rather it seems that there is an unspoken rule in the city now that ignoring others is polite. 

I remember hearing a story similar to the one just now from a friend of mine. Where one night screams could be heard from the floor below but not one person went to help, when morning came around they found that the child in that family had been killed by the parents. Apparently the other mansion residents had heard but ignored it thinking that it was someone playing around. 

"The problem starts from there. They say that the victim’s cries for help could be heard even from the mansion next door. Not screams but the sound of a human asking for help. The people in the mansion next door say that they ignored it thinking that since it was so loud the people in that mansion would obviously run over to see what was wrong." 

"What? --- Are you saying that the people in that mansion didn't know?" 

"Yeah, that's what they are saying. Without exception they are all saying that it was a quiet night as usual. Well, if that was all there isn't anything too strange about it, but previously in that mansion there was one more case, just like this one. I didn't hear many details, but that detective came asking for advice since there is something suspicious about something so weird happening twice." 

"... So, you are telling me to investigate the place, boss." 

"No, we will go to the actual location together. What you can do is find a real estate agent and get a list of residents so that you can quickly investigate where they all lived previously. Seeing as it's not something you can earn any money from you can take your time. The deadline being December." 

Replying that I understood, I put my cup of coffee to my lips. 

... For some reason, I got the feeling that I was putting my foot into another weird situation. 

"But you know Kokuto." 

"Yes?" 

"Are you, really fine if Shiki is a guy?" 

... If I was talking to Gakuto right now, I would have sprayed out the coffee I was holding in mouth without hesitation. 

"... Probably not. I do like Shiki, but if I were to express my desires I prefer her as a girl." 

"Eh, what is that. So boring. In that case there's no problem." 

What a disappointment, Touko-san shrugs and lifts the cup of coffee to her mouth. 

... There's, no, problem? 

"Wait a minute. There's no problem, what do you mean by that? That's something that ---." 

"Yeah. Shiki's definitely a girl mentally too. There's no way she wouldn't be a girl when the Yang-aligned SHIKI's already disappeared." 

That's --- But, in that case what's with that manner of speech of hers. Didn't the Shiki from before use a girl's way of talking? 

"Look here, the one that took the male as being the Yang side and the female as the Yin side in the first place is Shiki wasn't it? In that case the story's simple. The idea of Yin-Yang comes from the Taegukdo. Do you know about Korea's Taegukki, no? It's a circle shape." 

'''TN: I have no idea what Taegukdo would be in English so if someone knows pm me with the English equivalent. Or post in the translation notes thread in the forums.'''

If you say a circle shape ... She may be talking about that picture where you take a circle and divide it into two with a wavy line in the middle. That's not a simple half-moon shape but a twisted half-circle that looks as if two souls are trying to grab each other's tails. If we were to describe it as a word the 'の' letter is close to that nuance. 

"If you talk about a taegukdo one half is white, the other half black. And which ever side you look at there is a small hole of the other colour punched into it. A black spot in the white whorl, a white spot in the black whorl. 

You understand right. The black side is the Yin, in other words the woman. This picture is one of halves that are intertwined yet incompatible --- A black and white paradigm." 

"An incompatible --- Paradigm?" 

Those words, I've heard them before. 

"Yeah. It would also be okay to call it Yin-Yang, light and darkness, right and wrong. It refers to a state where something derived from one original object has been split into two. This, in Yin-Yang terms is sometimes known as Ryougi [両儀]." 

"--- Ryougi, that's -" 

"Correct, Shiki's family name. Her dual personality, it was something decided from the remote past. Did she obtain a dual personality because she was a member of the Ryougi family, or was it that they knew a Shiki would be born sometime and took the name Ryougi? Its probably the latter. 

The Ryougi clan is a dynasty just like the Asagami and the Fujoh clans. They are families who are trying to create humans who are beyond human, and used various methods to ensure the birth of an heir. All so that they could pass on their family's 'inheritance'. 

The Ryougi clan is especially interesting. They knew that if they had a supernatural ability they would one day be destroyed by the civilised world. So they thought up a supernatural ability that would let them appear as a normal human being. --- Hey Kokuto. Those people we call professionals, why is it that they can only reach the top in one area?" 

Taken off-guard by the sudden question I was unable to give her an answer. 

Today was a very long day, and the information coming into my head was exceeding my limits. On top of which --- To think that Ryougi was born in such a family, just why ---. 

"That's because no matter how perfect a body, or amount of natural aptitude you are born with, you can only put one talent into one person. The higher you climb the more you are restricted as to what other peaks you can go up, till in the end you cannot climb any others. 

The Ryougi clan solved that problem. By imbuing one body with a countless number of personalities. It's the same as a computer. If you put hundreds upon hundreds of pieces of software into one piece of hardware called Shiki, a professional in all areas is created. That's why their name is Shiki [式]. The Shiki [式] in Shikigami [式神]. The Shiki [式] when you talk about a numerical formula [數式]. A program that fulfils any task required of it perfectly. An empty doll that possesses countless numbers of identities, and can be modified by putting in another personality with different morals, thought patterns, even senses ---." 

Did Shiki already know this. 

... Ahah, she definitely knew. That's why she stubbornly avoided becoming friendlier. Accepting the fact that she wasn't an average person, the fact that she had not been born into a normal family, she had just been trying to live a quiet life ---. 

"This is a continuation on the subject of the Taegukdo, but the division of the chaotic「」into two is [両儀]. In order to further stabilise this, and in order to increase the number of classes available, they divide it into four ??? [四象]. They then further increase the complexity by cutting it into eight ??? [八卦], like this they keep dividing by a base of two. This too could symbolise Shiki's ability. 

But that no longer exists. A bug appeared in the perfect program you see. The Shiki you see now, well there may be slight problems but she is a perfectly normal human with self-awareness." 

Click, the lighter's flame comes up. 

At Touko-san's words I'm going 'Eh?' and asking a question again. 

"Why are you making a face like that? The one that broke it was you. A mentally disturbed person you see, doesn't break down because they don't even dream that they may be mentally disturbed. Shiki was like that before too. Yeah, but a human called Kokuto Mikiya made her aware of the fact. That the existence of the one called Ryougi Shiki was strange. 

Ah --- That's right. If you were to say it was a rescue, you already saved Shiki two years ago didn't you?" 

Here, and Touko-san pushed a cigarette at me. 

I don't smoke but I accepted it and lit up. 

... My first cigarette after being born, it had a very indistinct taste. 

"Ugh, the point of the conversation got twisted. And I didn't really feel like talking about Shiki too. Recently it seems like I keep feeling rushed. My lips are getting loose without me even realising it. Who knows, you might happen to die tomorrow Kokuto." 

"--- That's a little scary coming from you Touko-san. I will be watching out for cars then." 

"Yeah, that might be good. Anyways it's about that Taegukdo. 

I told you how each side in it has a spot right? The black in the white, the white in the black. They call this the Yin in the Yang, and the Yang in the Yin. 

In short, this is referring to those parts in a male that are feminine and those parts in a woman that are masculine. Saying that someone is Yang-aligned just because they use a man's manner of speech is a rash judgement. No matter who it is every human has some traits of the other sex. Men who like to dress up as women are a prominent example. There's no doubt in my mind that the Shiki right now is the Yin-aligned Shiki. The reason she uses a masculine manner of speech is unconscious compensatory behaviour on her part to the dead SHIKI. Maybe because she wants for you at least to remember SHIKI, Kiki, isn't it so cute of her?" 

"---." 

... Ah, now that it's spelled out for me I understand. 

Shiki may talk like a guy now, but she never acts like a guy like she did two years ago. No matter how you look at it her movements and actions are those of a girl's. 

Having lost the half of her called SHIKI she is still in a very weak and vulnerable state. 

Realising that I felt like my heart was being squeezed. 

The Shiki that came out of her sleep of two years was more stable than before, so I had been thinking she was okay. But Shiki was still lonely, no different from back then when it seemed like she could be hurt at any moment. 

I haven't changed either. Even today I feel that I can't leave Shiki alone like that. 

... That's right. Although I couldn't do anything two years ago. 

If something was to happen again, then this time at least I must save her.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 06

2009-04-14T05:21:40Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/6 Spiral Paradox''' 

One night has passed, and it is now noon on the eighth of November. 

The cloudy sky is no different from yesterday, so the lightless office was dark like an abandoned ruin. 

This office is too big for just two people, me and Touko-san, to use. There are enough desks for ten people, and there's a sofa to receive clients too. With a floor of concrete as bare as it was on the day it was poured, and walls that haven't even been papered over, it's not much, but nevertheless, if the numbers were met it would look like a proper workplace. 

But, at this moment, there are only three people here including me. 

Touko-san cannot be seen at the chief's desk beside the window. The medicine she took yesterday must have been effective, because as soon as she woke to find the cold had gone she went out somewhere. 

Inside this office without a director, I was ordering materials with which to decorate the hall where the art exhibition would be starting next month while comparing prices and doing other such things. While holding Touko-san's specifications in one hand, I was doing this in order to obtain the materials needed for her craft at low prices. That person is the type to say, 'It's all right as long as I make it', so she doesn't put in this kind of annoying and bothersome effort. The result is that as her employee, I can't help but do it for her. 

Peering at the list of material suppliers, I ring up this place for that and negotiate, then I move onto yet another shop. Apart from me, who can't decide whether I'm busy or just dedicated, there are two other people here. 

One is the kimono girl sitting blankly on the guest sofa. Needless to say, it's Ryougi Shiki, and while it's not as if she is doing anything, she is sitting there in a polite manner. 

The other person is sitting facing me at the desk furthest away from my own, doing... something. A schoolgirl in a black uniform. The girl with the long hair which is the polar opposite of Shiki's slung over her back, she's called Kokutou Azaka. 

Needless to say, the fact that our last names are the same means we are blood relatives, and as my little sister, Azaka is a first-year high school student. She has a weak constitution, so she was given over to a relative’s house around the time she was ten, for the reason that the city air was not good for her body; after that, we only met a few times. I think the last time I saw her was New Year's Day the year I entered high school. At the time she was still a child, but when I saw the Azaka who returned this summer, I was quite surprised. The little sister I faced for the first time in ages had grown into a lady with such a noble air about her as to make me wonder if her genes came from our family. 

As expected, I think that with just a change of environment from the house where one was born, that thing called a human grows up beautifully. 

Her actions have become spirited, too, so there's no trace of her former frailty. The fact that I wasn't with her during that period of growth from the age of ten to fifteen might be a factor, but for a while I couldn't accept the fact that this girl was my little sister Azaka. 

I steal a glance at Azaka, sitting at the far-off desk. 

With a number of books thicker than a dictionary stacked up beside her, she is studiously and quietly copying down the contents. ... It's the study material Touko-san left for Azaka as she went out. 

The heavy conversation yesterday with Touko-san put me in a gloomy mood as well, but my current greatest worry might be this. 

"Nii-san. I'm going to become Touko-san's apprentice." 

Whatever she was thinking, one month ago Azaka said such a thing. Of course I protested, but my little sister was determined and would not listen to my opinion. 

...Ah, geez. Why does a weird thing like a magician have to come out of an exceedingly normal family like ours? 

"Azaka." 

The phone orders put aside for now, I called to my little sister who was sitting in front of me. 

Azaka finishes writing the sentence she was copying, and then with her black hair rippling about her head, raised her face towards me. Her eyes which are calm and dignified in spite of being full of a proud temper politely look this way as if asking, 'what is it?'. 

"I know that it's a holiday since it's your school's foundation day. But even so, is it okay for you to be in a place like this?" 

"Nii-san, please visit the house once in a while. There was a fire in the school dormitory, so right now it's in ruins. Mother knows that there was a request from the school for students with homes nearby to leave the dormitories if possible for now." 

With eyes and a voice that remind me of the school president from my high school days, she knocks aside my question. 

"A fire --- one big enough for the whole dorm to burn?" 

"Only on the east wing. Half of the first and second year dorms were burnt to ashes. Although it didn't appear on the news because the school hushed it up." 

Azaka says something shocking in a firm tone. 

A fire breaking out at a famous girls' school like Reien is definitely something that could turn into a scandal, regardless of the truth behind the matter. However, if we are talking about Reien, which takes pride in the affection its powerful alumnae feel for the school, they might be able to take care of a fire in secret. 

But for a fire to occur at a school dormitory, it's a horrible thought. It's also easy to imagine from what Azaka said it that it was arson --- by a student, at that. 

“--- Nii-san. You aren’t getting any strange ideas, are you?” 

Azaka glares at me as if she read my mind. 

... Because of that event over the summer, my little sister doesn't like Kokutou Mikiya sticking his head into suspicious events. A silent argument always occurs following a conversation like this, so I decided to try and change the Subject. 

"That aside. What are you doing right now?” 

“It's nothing to do with you, Nii-san.” 

As if she knows what I want to say, Azaka's reply is chilly. 

"It does have something to do with me. I mean, my sister wants to be a wizard! What am I supposed to say to Father?" 

"Oh, you are planning to drop by the house?” 

… Ugh. Little rascal, she knows perfectly well that our parents and I cut our ties after we argued. 

“Speaking of which, Nii-san. A wizard and a mage are different things. How can you not know about that when you work for Touko-san?” 

Now that I think about it, Touko-san does sometimes say something like that. Something along the lines of how it's convenient to advertise yourself as a wizard rather than a magician as it presents the kind of image that you want, but that those are the titles of two completely different things, or something like that. 

“Ah, I did hear that before. But there wasn't much difference that I could see. They both use suspicious magic.” 

“Magic and sorcery are different. 
The art we call sorcery, it's definitely something outside our everyday reality. In the end, though, it's still nothing more than making something that is possible normally happen under extraordinary circumstances. Should I give you an example?” 

Azaka walked over to Touko-san's desk, then picked up a letter opener that was lying there. A piece of silverware of excellent craftsmanship, it's one of Touko-san’s most frequently handled items. 

Taking out an unneeded document, Azaka writes something on it with the knife. Suddenly --- spewing thick clouds of smoke, the document begins to burn away. 

“….” 

Unable to speak, I just stared at the scene. Touko-san had done something of the like (although on a larger scale) before, but I didn't know what to say at seeing my little sister do that sort of thing. 

“--- Stop that. That, is there some kind of trick to it?” 

“Of course there is. It might look amazing to someone who didn't know about it, but it's really nothing special. What I did just now doesn’t even qualify as an ability. If you are going to set something on fire, a disposable lighter will do the trick. Whether you do it with a lighter or a finger, the fact that you are setting an object on fire is the same. That kind of thing, it's not miraculous at all, is it? Do you understand, Nii-san? Sorcery is like that.” 

Azaka continues on confidently. 

In short, magic seems to be equivalent to a substitute good for civilization. No, from what Azaka said, it may be more accurate to say it has been overtaken by civilization.

“Take making it rain, for example. Whether it's through science or magic, the result is indistinguishable. It's just that the method is different; the amount of effort that goes into it is nearly the same. Sorcery may appear to be the work of an instant, but the preparatory steps required are extensive. If you take the time and money spent, it’s nearly equivalent to making the rainclouds with science. In the past, that really was something close to a miracle. By today's standards, however, it's not a miracle or anything of the sort. Previously, any mage that could turn a whole village to ashes was hailed as a wizard, but these days if you have money, that's something anyone can do. All that is required is to throw one missile.”

That method would actually be much faster and more effective, Azaka adds. 

'''TN: Next paragraph was VERY weird so translation was a bit difficult, I'll rework it when I do the final version.'''

“Sorcery is nothing more than making possible through your own strength what can be done now after spending a mind-boggling amount of time on the problem. It might be so even if you look at it academically. Rather than looking/thinking for decades in order to obtain the truth, it might be faster to go to the moon and look/think there. It's frustrating, but sorcery is of the 'taboo ritual'(秘儀禁忌) type, so it cannot achieve miracles.  --- A miracle is something beyond the powers of humanity, isn't it? Something currently unachievable in this world no matter how much money you throw at it. The ones who can make those things are called wizards, and their art, magic.” 

Something humans can't do yet. That is magic, is what Azaka said. 

“Then, wouldn't there have been more wizards than mages in the past? Since people in those days wouldn’t have had lighters or missiles.” 

"You are right. That is why a wizard was a feared figure in the past, and why being one could even be called a job. These days, though, it's different, isn't it? Strictly speaking, they aren't needed, the things called mages. These days, magic itself is disappearing. After all, you can count on your fingers the number of things that are impossible for humanity, can't you? Whatever the case, they say that there are only about five wizards in the world today." 

... Sure enough. With those meanings there would be a difference between mages and wizards. If we are talking about things that humanity can't do currently, the only things would be the control of time and space. Seeing the future or the past isn't reliable, but this is a time when such things are becoming possible, so impossibilities really are able to be counted on one hand. 

Someday --- humanity will eliminate the very existence of magic. Kind of like how a child, who became a scientist because he was intrigued by a number of events he thought miraculous, loses that sense of wonder as he comes to think of those events as simple phenomena in the course of his research. 

"Hmm. In that case, wouldn't the last magic be something like the power to make everyone happy?" 

Umm. I can't say I know much about all this. 

"----." 

For some reason, Azaka has shut herself up. 

She appeared to look this way, with a face as if she was looking at something unexpected, but suddenly turns away. 

"... Magic is something that can't be reached. And I never wanted to be a wizard. Learning sorcery is just for the purpose of achieving my goals." 

"Really? So magic is out, but if it's sorcery you will learn it? That sounds like what you just said, Azaka." 

When I summed up the talk by coming to that conclusion, Azaka shakes her head, and says no. 

"What have you been listening to, Nii-san? 

Sorcery was magic too, in the past. All that happened was that humanity caught up to it, so its learning and use has become possible with effort. 

... It's frustrating, but I don't have any built-up history like a mage's family heritage. Those people we call mages are families who build up their blood and history. The first of them would have been simple academics too. The mysteries that they have learned, and the strength they built up, they pass those on to the next generation. Their descendants continue their work, and pass it on to their own descendants. --- In this way, they repeat an endless cycle as they try to approach the bounds of magic. Touko-san seems to be the sixth generation, but apparently the third generation heir of their family was an incredible genius and discovered some amazing things. I think Touko-san's gifts are a result of carrying that thick blood as well. People like me who are just starting to learn magic now can't become mages that easily." 

"Hmm. Sounds like you are going to find it tough, for many reasons." 

Mmm, I suddenly understood something. 

Thick blood --- the power of your bloodline. 

That's true for any family. To us it may be our many relatives, or the wealth you have inherited. 

But, in the end, that --- 

"Oii, then what are you doing? Ours is a normal family. Never mind magic, we've never even dipped into Buddhism. Wouldn't it be that we can't learn things like magic?" 

"That's correct, but apparently we have the potential. According to Sensei, the delicacy shown when I ignite something isn't very common." 

Azaka speaks as if she's sulking. 

... Ah, geez, what good is being able to set things on fire going to do her? It could even be that this brat was the one responsible for the fire in the student dormitory. 

"Hey, you said it yourself that an ability that ends with one generation is useless. Then whatever you do is pointless. Even if you try to become a mage instead of a wizard, it will end up no different in the end. If you don't come back to a normal path quickly, you won't even be able to find a job." 

It's hard finding jobs these days as it is. 

Azaka immediately tried to refute that statement. 

Before that could happen --- an even more offensive piece of dialogue came leaping into the office with the sound of footsteps. 

"No, getting a job won't be a problem. With that level of skill at her age, in just two years' time she'll be getting offers left and right. She could even be hired as a first-class curator." 

With a loud whuffing noise, the door opens and Touko-san enters the room. 

<center>* * *</center>

Having shed her cold, Touko-san walks over to the chief's desk so briskly that you wonder if she was ever sick. 

Sitting down after hanging her coat on the chair, she looked at her desk and frowned. Probably because the location of the letter opener was different from before. 

"Azaka, I told you not to use someone else's things. A person becomes dull if they rely upon tools. I suppose it was because you didn't want to fail in front of Kokutou, right?" 

"--- yes, you are right." 

Upon being reprimanded by Touko-san, Azaka replies clearly even as her cheeks become red with embarrassment. ... It's those things about her that deserve to be admired, even if she is my little sister. 

"Well, you were having a pretty interesting talk. Weren't you disinterested in sorcery before, Kokutou?" 

"Of course I was, but... Oh, by the way, Touko-san. Do you remember yesterday?" 

"Eh?" Having taken off her glasses, Touko-san cocks her head in confusion. 

...That already mysterious conversation from last night, the one who began it doesn't remember talking about it. 

Touko-san pulls out a cigarette and takes a puff as she holds it in her mouth. 

"Anyway, Azaka. Why are you telling such things to Kokutou? Concealment and secrecy are the greatest prerequisites for sorcery. ... Although, I suppose there wouldn't be any problems if the person you are talking to is Kokutou." 

"What's okay if it's me?" 

"You won't understand even if we tell you. There's no reason for the secret to escape either. Since you are the type that knows how to choose the topic depending on the person. You wouldn't talk about that kind of thing with a normal human." 

"That may be so, but --- Is it really not good for a sorcerer to be exposed to others?" 

"Indeed, it's bad. Although it wouldn't really matter socially, the power of your sorcery falls. Do you know the origin of the word 'mystery', Kokutou?" 

Touko-san asked that as she brought her body forward on the desk. 

"When you say mystery, do you mean the sort of mystery in mystery novels?" 

"In a way. Not the detective novel sort, but mystery in the mystical sense." 

"Yeah, I do. It's originally Greek, not English." 

"... Well, that's true. In Greek it means to close something. Signifying stagnation, concealment, and self-completion. You see, a mystery has meaning in the fact that it is a mystery. Keeping it hidden is a nature of the technique. A sorcery that has had its nature revealed can't become a mystery, no matter what kind of supernatural methods it uses. It's nothing more than another method. Once that happens, that sorcery instantly becomes weaker. 

Sorcery was originally magic too. In short, there was no question that the strength was pulled out from the origin that was its source. Should we imagine for a moment that there was something along the lines of a 'mystery that makes you rich'? Let's say that this has a strength of 10. If only one person knows it, they can use the entire force of 10 of its power. But if two people know it, that it gets halved into two units of 5 and gets used like that. See, it's gotten weaker, hasn't it? The way of expressing it may be different, but I think that this is a fundamental rule in regards to everything in this universe." 

I can't understand all of what Touko-san is saying, but I think I get the point she is trying to convey. 

If concealment and obscurement is the law of existence that thing called sorcery exists by, I understand why mages would be reluctant to reveal their sorcery in front of others. 

"In that case, you must do as you please where others can't see you, Touko-san." 

"Nope, I don't." 

Zkk, Touko-san started talking as she stubbed out the cigarette in her ashtray. 

"I wouldn't have a choice in a battle between mages, but otherwise I don't use it even if I'm alone. The only time I use sorcerous techniques is when it's required for a ritual, or in a ceremony

The only time I would bring in sorcerous techniques would be when it would be required as a ritual, or ceremony in order to proceed to the next level. 

Some time around the medieval ages or so, an organisation called the Association was formed. Because of their excessive regulation of sorcery, the Association foresaw the degeneration of mages. So they took the power of their organisation and turned sorcery itself into something that is never revealed. What they did was to take a mystery that was visible and turn it into a mystery that no one knew about. As a result mystery began to disappear from society. 

In order to strictly enforce this the Association made some pretty byzantine rules. 

For example if a mage pulls a civilian into a magical phenomenon, the association will dispatch an assassin to kill that mage. This is done to destroy the entity that is harming the larger community of mages. ... That's probably where the myth that a mage that reveals himself to people loses their power came from. 

The Association tried to stop the degeneration of sorcery by reinforcing the attribute of concealment, an as a result those mages that belonged to the Association came to not throw their sorcery around with abandon. 

There were mages who resented those restrictions and retreated into the countryside, but the Association holds enormous amounts of academic works and lands. Most of what a mage requires to live as a mage is monopolised by the Association. To not belong to the Association was to be the same as being the outcast in a village. If you wanted to do an experiment all the territories where the node lines met were owned by the Association, and if you tried to learn sorcery you couldn't obtain any texts so you couldn't learn anything. Therefore a mage who was not a member of the Association could not practice sorcery even if they wanted to. That's the power of a multitude. In that respect its very impressive." 

"Uh, Touko-san. In that case does that mean I would have to join the Association too ... ?" 

The hesitantly interrupting voice of Azaka, something in it held a note of unease. 

"You don't have to, but doing so would be more convenient. It's not as if you can't come out once you go in. You are free to leave that place when you wish. Since they regard the fact that they aren't rulers very seriously." 

"But in that case there's no meaning to their extra-ordinary levels of concealment. Since sorcery would spread if those who have learnt magic enter the outside world." 

Upon hearing Azaka's reasonable opinion Touko-san goes, Ahhh, and nods. 

"That's true. Actually, there are a lot of people who think to study at the Association and gain power, then leave for the countryside. Such thoughts tend to disappear after about ten years though. Because the Association is the optimal environment for leaning sorcery. To go down to the countryside when everything a mage needs is already around you, no one does that kind of stupid thing '''(TN: Lol. Look who's talking, although I suppose most mages don't have seal orders upon their persons)'''. Studying sorcery is the foremost objective of a mage. They don't think about using their power and the things they have learnt. If they have that kind of time to spare, they use it to approach an even higher level of mystery. But since Azaka has a fundamentally different objective from us, you don't need to worry about being infected with the Association's poison even if you decide to join. If you are interested in reaching higher levels it is a place that might be worth looking into." 

Azaka knits her eyebrows together as if that's troublesome. In the end it appears as though Azaka herself has no interest it doing something like that. To me who doesn't like the idea of his little sister studying abroad in a suspicious place like that, Azaka's pondering comes as a welcome relief. 

"... I'll just ask one thing. What do you mean when you say that secrets are kept even within that Association?" 

Unexpectedly I can hear something from the sofa. 

Over there is Shiki who has been sitting there from before without a word. She's the type of person who doesn't get involved in a conversation that she's not interested in, so until now she had been staring at the scenery outside the window. 

"--- There is that. A mage won't reveal the results of his experiments even within the Association. What the person next to is researching, what their goals are, and what they have obtained are all a mystery. Since the only time a mage will reveal the results of their work is when they are passing it onto their descendants just before they die." 

"Studying for their benefit alone, yet not using that power for their own sake. What purpose is there in a life like that Touko? Is it that the goal is to learn, and the process is to learn too? If the only things you have are the beginning and the end, that's the same as having a zero." 

... As usual Shiki talks like a guy with that fine and clear feminine voice of hers. 

Touko-san appeared to have a faint bitter smile on her face, as if Shiki's biting remarks had hit a nerve somewhere. 

"There is a goal. However, what you said is correct too. A mage is pursuing a zero. His life pointing towards something that never existed in the first place. 

A mage's ultimate goal you see, is to reach the 'maelstrom of origins'. It's also called the Akashic Record, but it may be better to just regard the edge of the maelstrom as having such properties attached to it. 

The thing called the maelstrom of origins, it is probably the birthplace of everything. All phenomena flow out from it. If you know the origin the results are naturally produced. To describe it as it is you could say that it is the 'perfect knowledge'. By creating a standard like perfection or the like we are ultimately limiting the concept, so even that description is incorrect, but since that the easiest way of defining it so the name stuck. 

Essentially all the branches of magic that have spread throughout this world are nothing more than one branch of a small river flowing out from this maelstrom. This is the reason that every country has their own traditions and legends. The core is the same, but what decorates the exterior is the background of the one who understood that 'river'. Astrology, alchemy, kabbala, spiritualism, rune, the researchers who are numberless if one was to count them all. Their origins are the same, so in the end they hold the same final destination in mind. Because, they who have touched the tip of the stream that split off from the maelstrom of origins called magic, they have imagined what lay before --- the shape of the beginning. 

To reach the truth is the ultimate goal of all mages. They don't have any desire for petty things like the meaning of life. All they want is to know the shape of pure truth. The collective of those people are them. Those who abandon self in order that they may gaze upon their souls --- the multitude who can never be rewarded for their efforts. The world calls them mages." 

Speaking with a clear voice, Touko-san's gaze is sharper than ever. Her amber eyes flicker as if they are on fire. 

... That may be so, but unfortunately I can't understand even half of what was just said. 

I only understood one thing from that speech, so I decided to ask her about it. 

"Uh, can I ask something? If there is an objective wouldn't studying have a meaning as well? Not being able to be compensated .... , Uhm is it like that? No one has managed to reach it have they?" 

"Someone did. We know that it exists because somebody managed to get there. Those magics that still exist today are things left behind by the ones who got there. 

But --- Those ones who got to that side never came back. Mages who were great enough to leave their names behind in history were lost at the very moment they got to that point. Whether that place is such a wonderful world, or if its a world you cannot escape once you get to. Those are things no one knows. Without getting there themselves that is. However, reaching it with the efforts of one generation is impossible. The reason mages shed blood during their research, and pass the results of their work to their descendants is to amplify their magic power. It's nothing but a way of creating a descendant who can reach the maelstrom of origins. You see, many generations of mages have already dreamt of the maelstrom of origins, died, passed on their work to their children, who in turn added to it and passed it onto their children. There's no end to it. They can never be compensated for it either. Even if a family that has reached that point was to appear it would probably be impossible --- because there are meddlers." 

In contrast with her words which suggest hatred, Touko-san lets loose a dry laugh. In a manner that makes it seems that she thinks it good that there is such a meddler in this world. 

"Well, what I am saying is that it is simply not possible no matter which side you are on. Today's mages can't reach the maelstrom and impose a new system --- a new branch of magic." 

Touko-san says this with a shrug, as if saying 'that's the end of this long story'. 

With that Azaka and I were unable to say anything, but Shiki alone points out the contradiction in Touko-san's story. 

"What strange people. Why do you people continue, even though you know it's beyond you?" 

"Who knows. Maybe all those people who call themselves 'mages' are those who were born without the ability to grasp the concept of 'impossible', or idiots who can't give up." 

Touko-san cleanly acknowledges the statement with a shrug. 

Seeing that Shiki went, 'What, you already knew', as if she was surprised.

<center>* * *</center>

When an hour or so had passed after the end of the conversation the office had regained its usual tranquility. 

The time was getting to around three in the afternoon, so as a break from work I brewed some coffee for everyone in the room. After getting some Japanese tea for Azaka herself, I sat back down at my desk. 

As for my work the overall schedule was set, and my paycheck for the month looked to be safe, the thought relaxed me as I drank the coffee. 

The sound of people sipping tea could be heard echoing through the quiet office. 

Suddenly, as if she was trying to break the peaceful silence permeating the room, Azaka aimed a preposterous question towards Shiki. 

"--- Excuse me. Shiki-san is a guy isn't he?" 

... Enough to almost make me drop my cup, that was truly a hellish question. 

"---." 

That was true for Shiki too. Taking her lips off the cup of coffee in her hands she makes a face which suggests she is offended, but lost for words at the same time. In her current state, she has no rebuttal for my idiotic little sister. 

Seeing that as a sign of victory, Azaka continues. 

"Since you aren't denying it you must be acknowledging the fact. You are definitely a guy Shiki-san." 

"Azaka!" 

Dear lord, unable to contain myself I ended up jumping in. 

These kind of questions need to be ignored, but this case being the case it was I wasn't in my right mind. 

I got up confidently enough, but no suitable words come to mind. Without another word I sit down again. ... I feel like a soldier from some defeated army. 

"Don't fuss over unimportant details, you." 

In a very angry voice, Shiki gives Azaka a reply. Seeing as how she’s rubbing her temple with one hand it could be that she's trying contain her temper. 

"Really? But this is a very important matter." 

Like Shiki who is always outwardly cool, Azaka responds coolly as well. With her elbows upon the desk and her fingers laced, Azaka's appearance is that of a chairman conducting a meeting. 

"An important matter you say. There's not much difference whether I'm a boy or a girl. It doesn't have anything to do with Azaka. Or, are you trying to pick a fight with me?" 

"Something like that would have been decided from our very first meeting."

It feels like the two are glaring at each other, even though they aren't looking at the other person. 

... As for me, I would like to know what had been decided, but this isn't the sort of mood in which I should ask that question. 

"... Azaka. I don't know why you feel you must bring this up again after all this time, but in the hopes that it will be the last time I will say it again. Shiki is a girl, definitely." 

First, I just said that. 

That one statement, which could be wrapped around Azaka's rudeness while restraining Shiki's displeasure, for some reason it felt like it scraped their nerve's raw even further than before. 

"I know something like that. Keep quiet for a second nii-san." 

If you know then why are you asking, you!

"What I want to ask isn't her physical sex. All I want to confirm is what side her psychological sex leans towards. Although, superficially at least, Shiki-san seems like a man." 

Stressing the word 'seems' Azaka looks at Shiki out of the corner of her eyes. 

Shiki gets more and more disgruntled. 

"If my body's a girls it doesn't matter what side my personality is. What will you do if I am a guy brat?" 

"I wonder, do you want me to introduce you to a girl from Reien?" 

--- Ah. 

Hearing Azaka words that are no longer dancing around the issue, and have become a straight out challenge, I finally understood. 

That Azaka, is she still not letting go of what happened on that night from two years ago? 

The Chinese new year during my first year of high school. There was a time when I invited Shiki over to my house as we went home after visiting the temple together. Azaka had been at home for once for the winter holidays, and being confronted with Shiki she fell into a mildly shocked state. That wasn't unexpected either. At the time Shiki still had another personality called SHIKI. Coming face to face with Shiki's voice and way of acting which had been even closer to the picture of a healthy young man, Azaka had fallen ill for a whole day. 

Even so she had gone too far just now. I can't help her even if she gets beaten up by Shiki. 

"You know, Azaka." 

At exactly the same time as I stood up again to glare at Azaka Shiki got up from the sofa. 

"I'll pass. Reien's bitches, there's not a proper one among them." 

Hn, Shiki snorted and then she just left the office. 

The navy kimono swishes as it disappears from my field of vision. 

I thought about running after her, but that could all too easily have the effect of pouring oil upon Shiki's displeasure instead. 

Thanking the gods for the miracle that nothing had happened I sat down, and drained the now cool coffee in one shot. 

"Pity, in the end I may have taken a blow instead." 

Chit, clicking her tongue Azaka loosens her posture, stretching her arms as she leans her body on the backrest of her chair, as if she had been in a ready-to-fight state till now as well. 

... I've always thought this, but why does Azaka's personality take a turn for the worse whenever she talks with Shiki? 

This time though, I feel that I can't let things pass without saying something to her. 

"Azaka. What was that just now?" 

"What do you mean what, it's all because the relationship between Nii-san and Shiki-san isn't clear. Haven't you ever had any thoughts like that? Whether Ryougi Shiki is befriending Nii-san as a girl, or as a guy." 

While her manner of speech is stern, Azaka's blushing as she talks. Because of that imbalance, I realised the point my little sister was trying to make. 

"Azaka, we call that an idiot's conjecture. Whether Shiki is a girl or a boy, it's not something for us to take as a conversation topic. And before everything else Shiki is originally a girl, so even if her way of thinking is that of a guy's it doesn't make much difference does it?" 

Azaka narrows her eyes and glares at me. 

"--- Okay then. So what Nii-san is saying is that as long as she's a girl there aren't any real problems. In other words, you think that relationships between the same sex are wrong. In that case answer me this. 

Let's say that here we have a man who has become a woman through a sex change and a woman who has become a man by the same method. In the event that both these people truly love Nii-san, who would you choose? The one whose appearance is that of a woman but is really a man inside, or the one whose body is that of a man's but whose mind is a woman's. Now, give me an answer." 

... Azaka's question is, difficult. 

The more you think about it the more it becomes evident that it is a situation in which you cannot choose either side. 

If you just think about it casually, of course you would choose the person whose sex is female over the one who was originally a woman but now has the body of a man. But that person's mind is still that of a man, so it leads on to mean that he likes Kokuto Mikiya as a man. 

I couldn't trivialise the matter to the point where I was able to think that a person's sex didn't matter in love. In that case however, it means that I recognise men and women only by their outward appearance, so I start to feel that I'm an ugly person inside. On top of which relationships between the same sex are prohibited from the beginning, so a situation in which a man loves Kokuto Mikiya as a man isn't acceptable either. Then the one I choose would become the one who likes me as a woman, but that person's sex is male --- Ahah, why do I have to hurt my head over a question like this! 

... Wait a second. This, isn't there something paradoxical about it from the start? Although you don't accept a relationship between the same sex, either choice has the trap of being a same-sex relationship. 

When I realised that and lifted my head, Touko-san was holding in a laugh as if she found the whole matter amusing. 

"--- That's unfair Azaka. This is the famous question in which「Truth and Lies co-exist」!"

"Yes, you are right. It's the famous Euphemenide's Paradox." 

"True, to Kokuto it's a source of a devastating paradox. You guys really don't let things get boring for me. Is the Kokuto family all like this, Azaka?" 

In stark contrast to the still laughing Touko-san, Azaka is looking this way with an earnest expression on her face. ... So that was it. This girl was worrying about me in her own fashion. In that case, since Shiki herself wasn't clear on the subject, I at least have to say my opinions clear on the subject. 

"... Yeah, I think I understand what you are trying to say Azaka. It's just that, I don't particularly mind which way Shiki leans towards. Even if you were to say that Shiki was SHIKI I don't think I would feel any different." 

When I said that while scratching my cheek to hide my embarrassment, Azaka got angry jumped up from her position. 

"--- So you are saying it's okay even if you are going out with SHIKI?" 

"... Uhm. Well, yeah." 

Suddenly, something bulky slammed into my face. 

"That's too filthy --- !" 

Dadadada, the sound of someone running out. 

By the time I thought, 'Ah that book Azaka was reading until just now was what came flying', I was alone in the office with Touko-san. 

Shiki had left after getting angry with Azaka, and Azaka had just run out. 

As for me, I was glaring at Touko-san, who was still laughing as I gingerly felt my aching face. 

<center>* * *</center>

And so two hours passed and it became time to go home. 

Neither Shiki nor Azaka came back, so I thought about dropping by Shiki's mansion while brewing the coffee that had become a ritual before leaving work. 

"Oh that's right. Sorry Kokuto, but I need you to do some extra work for me." 

Those kind of worries disappear at the one statement Touko-san san throws my way as we drink the coffee. 

"Extra work? Did you take up some new task?" 

"No, it's not something related to that side. It isn't anything that will get you money. I went out this morning for this you see, and I heard an interesting story from a detective that I'm indebted to. Kokuto, do you know about Kayamahama's Ogawa mansion?" 

"By Kayamahama, you must mean that mansion complex that they built on that recovered land. The one they say is a futuristic model or something." 

"Yes that one. Was it 30 minutes by subway from here? It's a neighbourhood that uses land in a posh manner that's unthinkable to us living here in the city. Well you see, back when they were developing that place there was one mansion that I briefly checked out, it seems that there was an uncanny incident there. 

At about 10 o'clock last night, an office worker in her 20's got mugged in the street. The victim was a woman, so it was probably a rape attempt. Unfortunately the victim got stabbed with a knife. The criminal fled down the street, but the victim couldn't do that. The victim who was stabbed in the abdomen didn't even have a cellphone. The crime scene was the mansion complex too. Which meant there wasn't any reason to expect there to be any shops nearby, and if it's ten at night there are hardly any people going by. So as she bled out she went into the nearest mansion to ask for help. 

But, that mansion didn't use the 1st and 2nd floors. They say that it's only from the 3rd floor that the mansion is inhabited. By the time the woman got to the third floor using the elevator she knew she had reached her body's limit. She screamed for someone to help her from that location for about ten minutes, but none of the mansion's residents heard her, and at 11 PM she died." 

... It's a tragic story. 

These days as mansions get larger and larger there is increasingly less contact between neighbours. Or rather it seems that there is an unspoken rule in the city now that ignoring others is polite. 

I remember hearing a story similar to the one just now from a friend of mine. Where one night screams could be heard from the floor below but not one person went to help, when morning came around they found that the child in that family had been killed by the parents. Apparently the other mansion residents had heard but ignored it thinking that it was someone playing around. 

"The problem starts from there. They say that the victim’s cries for help could be heard even from the mansion next door. Not screams but the sound of a human asking for help. The people in the mansion next door say that they ignored it thinking that since it was so loud the people in that mansion would obviously run over to see what was wrong." 

"What? --- Are you saying that the people in that mansion didn't know?" 

"Yeah, that's what they are saying. Without exception they are all saying that it was a quiet night as usual. Well, if that was all there isn't anything too strange about it, but previously in that mansion there was one more case, just like this one. I didn't hear many details, but that detective came asking for advice since there is something suspicious about something so weird happening twice." 

"... So, you are telling me to investigate the place, boss." 

"No, we will go to the actual location together. What you can do is find a real estate agent and get a list of residents so that you can quickly investigate where they all lived previously. Seeing as it's not something you can earn any money from you can take your time. The deadline being December." 

Replying that I understood, I put my cup of coffee to my lips. 

... For some reason, I got the feeling that I was putting my foot into another weird situation. 

"But you know Kokuto." 

"Yes?" 

"Are you, really fine if Shiki is a guy?" 

... If I was talking to Gakuto right now, I would have sprayed out the coffee I was holding in mouth without hesitation. 

"... Probably not. I do like Shiki, but if I were to express my desires I prefer her as a girl." 

"Eh, what is that. So boring. In that case there's no problem." 

What a disappointment, Touko-san shrugs and lifts the cup of coffee to her mouth. 

... There's, no, problem? 

"Wait a minute. There's no problem, what do you mean by that? That's something that ---." 

"Yeah. Shiki's definitely a girl mentally too. There's no way she wouldn't be a girl when the Yang-aligned SHIKI's already disappeared." 

That's --- But, in that case what's with that manner of speech of hers. Didn't the Shiki from before use a girl's way of talking? 

"Look here, the one that took the male as being the Yang side and the female as the Yin side in the first place is Shiki wasn't it? In that case the story's simple. The idea of Yin-Yang comes from the Taegukdo. Do you know about Korea's Taegukki, no? It's a circle shape." 

'''TN: I have no idea what Taegukdo would be in English so if someone knows pm me with the English equivalent. Or post in the translation notes thread in the forums.'''

If you say a circle shape ... She may be talking about that picture where you take a circle and divide it into two with a wavy line in the middle. That's not a simple half-moon shape but a twisted half-circle that looks as if two souls are trying to grab each other's tails. If we were to describe it as a word the 'の' letter is close to that nuance. 

"If you talk about a taegukdo one half is white, the other half black. And which ever side you look at there is a small hole of the other colour punched into it. A black spot in the white whorl, a white spot in the black whorl. 

You understand right. The black side is the Yin, in other words the woman. This picture is one of halves that are intertwined yet incompatible --- A black and white paradigm." 

"An incompatible --- Paradigm?" 

Those words, I've heard them before. 

"Yeah. It would also be okay to call it Yin-Yang, light and darkness, right and wrong. It refers to a state where something derived from one original object has been split into two. This, in Yin-Yang terms is sometimes known as Ryougi [両儀]." 

"--- Ryougi, that's -" 

"Correct, Shiki's family name. Her dual personality, it was something decided from the remote past. Did she obtain a dual personality because she was a member of the Ryougi family, or was it that they knew a Shiki would be born sometime and took the name Ryougi? Its probably the latter. 

The Ryougi clan is a dynasty just like the Asagami and the Fujoh clans. They are families who are trying to create humans who are beyond human, and used various methods to ensure the birth of an heir. All so that they could pass on their family's 'inheritance'. 

The Ryougi clan is especially interesting. They knew that if they had a supernatural ability they would one day be destroyed by the civilised world. So they thought up a supernatural ability that would let them appear as a normal human being. --- Hey Kokuto. Those people we call professionals, why is it that they can only reach the top in one area?" 

Taken off-guard by the sudden question I was unable to give her an answer. 

Today was a very long day, and the information coming into my head was exceeding my limits. On top of which --- To think that Ryougi was born in such a family, just why ---. 

"That's because no matter how perfect a body, or amount of natural aptitude you are born with, you can only put one talent into one person. The higher you climb the more you are restricted as to what other peaks you can go up, till in the end you cannot climb any others. 

The Ryougi clan solved that problem. By imbuing one body with a countless number of personalities. It's the same as a computer. If you put hundreds upon hundreds of pieces of software into one piece of hardware called Shiki, a professional in all areas is created. That's why their name is Shiki [式]. The Shiki [式] in Shikigami [式神]. The Shiki [式] when you talk about a numerical formula [數式]. A program that fulfils any task required of it perfectly. An empty doll that possesses countless numbers of identities, and can be modified by putting in another personality with different morals, thought patterns, even senses ---." 

Did Shiki already know this. 

... Ahah, she definitely knew. That's why she stubbornly avoided becoming friendlier. Accepting the fact that she wasn't an average person, the fact that she had not been born into a normal family, she had just been trying to live a quiet life ---. 

"This is a continuation on the subject of the Taegukdo, but the division of the chaotic「」into two is [両儀]. In order to further stabilise this, and in order to increase the number of classes available, they divide it into four ??? [四象]. They then further increase the complexity by cutting it into eight ??? [八卦], like this they keep dividing by a base of two. This too could symbolise Shiki's ability. 

But that no longer exists. A bug appeared in the perfect program you see. The Shiki you see now, well there may be slight problems but she is a perfectly normal human with self-awareness." 

Click, the lighter's flame comes up. 

At Touko-san's words I'm going 'Eh?' and asking a question again. 

"Why are you making a face like that? The one that broke it was you. A mentally disturbed person you see, doesn't break down because they don't even dream that they may be mentally disturbed. Shiki was like that before too. Yeah, but a human called Kokuto Mikiya made her aware of the fact. That the existence of the one called Ryougi Shiki was strange. 

Ah --- That's right. If you were to say it was a rescue, you already saved Shiki two years ago didn't you?" 

Here, and Touko-san pushed a cigarette at me. 

I don't smoke but I accepted it and lit up. 

... My first cigarette after being born, it had a very indistinct taste. 

"Ugh, the point of the conversation got twisted. And I didn't really feel like talking about Shiki too. Recently it seems like I keep feeling rushed. My lips are getting loose without me even realising it. Who knows, you might happen to die tomorrow Kokuto." 

"--- That's a little scary coming from you Touko-san. I will be watching out for cars then." 

"Yeah, that might be good. Anyways it's about that Taegukdo. 

I told you how each side in it has a spot right? The black in the white, the white in the black. They call this the Yin in the Yang, and the Yang in the Yin. 

In short, this is referring to those parts in a male that are feminine and those parts in a woman that are masculine. Saying that someone is Yang-aligned just because they use a man's manner of speech is a rash judgement. No matter who it is every human has some traits of the other sex. Men who like to dress up as women are a prominent example. There's no doubt in my mind that the Shiki right now is the Yin-aligned Shiki. The reason she uses a masculine manner of speech is unconscious compensatory behaviour on her part to the dead SHIKI. Maybe because she wants for you at least to remember SHIKI, Kiki, isn't it so cute of her?" 

"---." 

... Ah, now that it's spelled out for me I understand. 

Shiki may talk like a guy now, but she never acts like a guy like she did two years ago. No matter how you look at it her movements and actions are those of a girl's. 

Having lost the half of her called SHIKI she is still in a very weak and vulnerable state. 

Realising that I felt like my heart was being squeezed. 

The Shiki that came out of her sleep of two years was more stable than before, so I had been thinking she was okay. But Shiki was still lonely, no different from back then when it seemed like she could be hurt at any moment. 

I haven't changed either. Even today I feel that I can't leave Shiki alone like that. 

... That's right. Although I couldn't do anything two years ago. 

If something was to happen again, then this time at least I must save her.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 05

2009-04-14T05:04:55Z

61.11.175.146:

'''/5 Spiral Paradox'''

Winter's arrived. 

Like my summer, the autumn that came to these streets seems to have been short as well. 

Looking out from the office window, the streets are overcast by a cold sky that threatens to snow at any time. Day by day the traces of autumn disappear to the point where one begins to think the abnormal weather has erased the word autumn from the list of seasons. 

That's right. In the short period from the end of September to this day of November 7, I ran through life like a prized racehorse. 

To speak of my life during that time, from the start of October I was at a driving school ran by one of my relatives. This school is like a boarding school where students stay for 3 weeks and finish a normal course in a shorter space of time. 

Leaving this street for nearly a month didn't appeal to me, but I couldn't turn down my relative's offer and Touko-san - my boss at work - approved the trip, so I ended up having no choice but to go. And so my 3 weeks in the school, which felt like a concentration camp in some ways, finished and I came back to this place, where I was born and grew up. 

"... Mmm, name: Kokutou Mikiya." 

For no reason at all, I read the contents on the license in my hand. 

My name is clearly printed on the small license. Apart from that, my registration location, my birth date, current address, and a photo of my face are on it. There's really only a minimal amount of personal information entered on it, but among all the proofs of identity an individual can possess it is the one with the greatest range of uses. --- That point was just so strange that I couldn't stand it. 

"What kind of qualification would this thing called a license be, Touko-san?" 

I address Touko-san, who is sleeping on the bed in one corner of the same room. Of course, I don't expect anything like a response. 

"--- It's a contract, that thing." 

However, Touko-san kindly responded. 

This person caught a horrible cold and has already spent nearly a week lying in bed. She was sleeping till a moment ago with a 38 degree fever, but it seems she just woke up. 

The reason --- she's probably hungry. 

It's reasonable, the time is already past noon. 

Right now, I'm at the company office. 

To be accurate, this is Touko-san's personal room, which is on the fourth floor of the building where the office is; this room is a place I don't normally frequent. Having moved the chair to be by the window, I'm looking at the license I got only a short time ago while Touko-san is lying in bed. 

... Nevertheless it wasn't an ero-material situation. It was simply that Touko-san is lying in bed with a cold. What awaited me when I got back from the boarding school was a Shiki who silently condemned me for something, and my boss who was in bed with a cold. 

These two people claimed to have become friendlier in the time I was away, but Shiki flatly refused to nurse Touko-san, and I think she even went so far as to say something along the lines of, 'I hope your brain melts away'. ... Shiki, who displayed the same coldness as ever, is a friend of mine from high school. Full name, Ryougi Shiki. Sex, female. Her manner of speaking is rough so now and then there are people who confuse her gender. 

On the other hand, the woman in front of me who has a cold towel upon her head is called Aozaki Touko and is the boss of the company where I work. I am the only employee, so it is a little awkward to call it a company. 

This person has a genius's nature and, as those kinds of people sometimes do, has few acquaintances. Even after catching a cold, she said that she didn't do anything and laid in bed for the whole day. The person in question was saying that it couldn't be helped since she didn't have an immunity to this cold at the current time or some nonsense like that. 

... Personally, I think that if you don't have any immunity it's really not the time to be sleeping, but as a magus Touko-san probably doesn't feel like seeing a doctor. No doubt the thing called pride is stopping her. 

Due to those circumstances, I couldn't really meet up with Shiki after a month away and ended up nursing Touko-san for the whole day.

A contract. Weakly uttering her reply, Touko-san picked up the glasses on the bedside table. 

Normally, she seems so sinister that one doesn't quite notice that she is a beautiful woman, but the current Touko-san, who was suffering from a cold, was so gentle and pretty that you could think she was someone else. 

In order to clear her still drowsy consciousness, Touko-san keeps talking. 

"That, you see, is a contract saying you have mastered driving. It says that you have learnt something important, but the objective has changed. In this country, it's no longer a matter of getting a qualification as a result of learning, but learning in order to get the qualification. When you obtain the qualification, what you learnt loses its meaning. A qualification which has degraded to merely being evidence saying 'I have learnt this much' is like a contract." 

Touko-san raised herself up and added, does the chicken come first, or the egg?. 

"But isn't a qualification something like that? After all, everyone studies with a goal in mind." 

"Of course, there are always opposites. It's a topic with no conclusion because goals and results, behaviours and processes are dissociated things (Translator note: uhh what the heck does this mean Touko? Stop speaking in professor mode!) . There will be people who start driving because they got a license, just as there will be those who, while they get their driver's license, skip any instruction and take the exam right away." 

She normally speaks gently when she has her glasses on, she's even gentler then usual today, maybe because she's sick. 

I digress, but when this person went to take the test, she got such flawless results in the written and practical tests that she apparently got her license while being glared at by the examiner. 

"I did hear about people getting a license without going to a driving school, and I see Touko-san was such a case. ... Speaking of which, the image of you going to a driving school is just ---." 

--- So scary, I can't imagine it. 

Apparently unamused by my hastily swallowed comment, Touko-san frowns and looks sharply in this direction. "Isn't that a discourtesy  Mikiya-kun? In those days I was still a student, so there would have been nothing strange about me going to a driving school if I chose to. I was no different from any ordinary university student." 

Touko-san talks with her eyes closed as if she's complaining. 

"... That's right. Now that I think about it, Touko-san was once a teen too." Imagining what she would have looked like as a lovable young girl still in her studies, I couldn't help but swallow my breath, because that was a mental attack strong enough to squeeze my heart. 

"... That picture seems a whole lot more abnormal ma'am." 

"--- You are slowly revealing your true sentiments while the other party is a patient, aren't you?" 

Of course. Usually I'm the one that keeps getting picked on, so if I don't at least retaliate at a time like this, things don't balance out. 

When I stood up to replace the towel for her, Touko-san said she was hungry, revealing a very frank craving. Distressingly, the porridge that was made for her ran out this morning. 

"Shall I go an buy something from the store? Say, udon with eggs." 

"No ~, that's all soggy. Hey, Mikiya-kun, won't you make something for me? You live alone, so you know how to cook right?" 

The idea that if you live alone you know how to cook, just who spread that groundless rumour? Letting my shoulders fall (Translator's note: There a phrase that would fit in to replace that but I can't think of it) under Touko-san's anticipatory gaze, I firmly declared to her the harsh truth. 

"Sorry, the only things I can make are noodles. The lowest rank consisting of pouring hot water into a cup of instant noodles, and the highest rank being pasta. If that's okay I will use the kitchen for a bit." 

As expected, Touko-san wore a bluntly disgusted face. 

"Then where did you get this morning's porridge from? It was a taste that couldn't have come from a convenience store." 

"That was Shiki's. She says that she doesn't cook very often, but it turns out she's pretty skilled when it comes to Japanese food." 

Oho, Touko-san goes  and blinks as if she's surprised. I was of that opinion too, but really, Shiki has cooked well enough to shame a chef. Shiki comes from a distinguished family and because of that, her sense of taste is extraordinarily high class. For herself, she will eat anything, but I think that's because she didn't make it so any taste can be forgiven. Shiki cooking meant preparing something that she herself could tolerate, so it's really no wonder that her cooking skills went up as a result. 

"--- How surprising, Shiki doing something for me. But well, that fits. Since that kid is adept at using a knife. ... I suppose it can't be helped. There are some bottles of pills on the desk, so can you get them for me?" 

Realising she can't get a meal off of me, Touko-san lies back on the bed. 

When I went to get the three medicine bottles on Touko-san's desk --- one photo caught my attention. 

It looks like a scene from a foreign land. A brick road and a clock tower that looks as if it could come from a movie. Beneath a grey sky that looks as if it will start snowing at any moment, three people are standing next to each other. 

Two men and a girl. 

Both men are of tall stature and one seems Japanese. The other person looks native to that land and fits in so well with the scenery that there is no sense of incongruity about him. No --- it's actually that the presence of the Japanese man is so strong. The sense of existence that flows off that Japanese man standing there with a dark expression is so powerful, it rises up from the picture. ... A heaviness so strong it becomes hard to breathe. I once felt it close up.  

That was, yeah. Could it have just been a sensation from that unforgettable time. While I gazed at the photo to try and confirm that, something even more striking caught my eye. 

The Japanese man is wearing a coat reminiscent of a black kimono, and the handsome blond man with blue eyes is in a red coat. 

There is a girl standing between those two. 

Ebon black hair which makes the black coat of the Japanese man look pale. The hair that flows down below her waist; rather than hair it seems like some wonderfully beautiful decoration. 

A calm face that still tinged with the innocence of childhood; in one word I could describe it as radiant. The girl is so excessively beautiful that it feels like she will snatch away my soul through the photo. --- One is provoked into wondering if mixing a Japanese ghost with the beauty of a flower blooming in the shadows and a fairy from a western fairy tale wouldn't result in a human like this. 

"Touko-san, this photo ---." 

Without even realising it, I was mumbling those words. 

Touko-san takes off her glasses as she replies. 

"Oh? Ah, those are my old friends. I couldn't remember what they looked like, so I took that out of my album. --- Around the time I was in London, it was a unique mistake." 

When Touko-san takes off her glasses, her manner of speaking is the first thing to change. Previously, my friend Ryougi Shiki had a somewhat obscure dual personality, but this person called Aozaki Touko really changes identities as if flicking a switch. She says that it's actually her personality and not her identity that changes, but from my perspective it doesn't really matter what it is. 

To sum up the Touko-san who has taken off her glasses in one phrase, she's a cold person. 

A cold mode of behaviour and speech, a cold ideology, a cold reason --- an image of humanity formed from those sorts of things, that is the Touko-san without glasses. 

"I guess it's a few years back now. Around the time when my little sister was entering high school, roughly eight years ago now. Remembering people's faces is my specialty, but for some reason I'm poor at recalling those memories. And I don't feel like tidying it up into a nice shape either since it's a pointless exercise." 

Still lying on the bed, Touko-san keeps talking as if she's absorbed in thought. ... For Touko-san to be talking about her past, it's not something you see very often. I think it was true when she said that this was her first time catching a cold. I guess sick people do act differently. (TN: this is a very rough translation, it does have something to do concern sick people acting weird)  

"London --- that's the capital of England right?" 

Putting the three medicine bottles at the head of Touko-san's bed, I pull up a nearby chair and sit down next to the bed. Touko-san takes out some pills from the bottles and swallows them, then lies down and starts talking. 

"Yes. At the time, having run away from my grandfather, there was nowhere for me to go. I calculated that there was nothing else for an amateur mage, who didn't even have the skills or the resources to make an atelier, to do but go under the wing of a large organisation. It's like an university. The equipment is worn, defaced, and failing, but there's nothing wrong with the establishment itself. In the shadows of a large museum, there was a western-eastern ancient and modern age research department. Of course it was actually the association that nourished so many of today's mages. That  was also a treasury beyond my wildest hopes." 

Soliloquising  as if dazed by the fever, Touko-san's complexion kept getting paler. When I got worried thinking that those pills might have been poison instead of medicine, Touko-san assured me that it wasn't poison. 

"It's a good opportunity, so just let me talk a little longer. 

... It was difficult for a girl not yet twenty to study abroad, especially since an Aozaki gets treated like a heretic. In order to enter that place I decided to specialise in rune sorcery. At the time rune wasn't popular, and there were few people studying it. The association side needed a researcher too, so stabilising the rune characters from that side took me 2 years, and another few years to approach the originals in the Tule association, so it may have been about the time I just got my own workroom. 

One day, while I was absorbed in making the doll that was my goal, I met that man. Someone who possessed a unique personal history, like originally being a Tamil priest. He was a hellish man. His strong will and tempered shell, it was like an eternally burning drive for achievement. 

... Hellish. What I mean by saying that, Kokuto, is that if the idea of Hell was to gain a will and take the form of a man, my hypothesis is that it would be something like him. To the degree that he couldn't accept others, he was just absorbing misery. His ability as a mage was full of flaws, but his strong ego surpassed everything. 

--- It was a coarse guy like that who I fell for." 

As if she's looking at the man in her memories, Touko-san thinly opens her eyes. Her look is an undecipherable one that looked of either hatred or compassion. 

Without even really knowing the contents of the story very well, I say, "Oh, that's how it was," and agree with her. Not annoying the patient is the main point behind nursing. 

"Oho, so Touko-san's doll making is a foreign art?" 

To that question which was perfectly unsuited to the mood, Touko-san says, yes it is, and nods seriously (TN: awful phrasing here I know | "Yes it is", Touko-san nods seriously to this question entirely unsuited to her mood.) . 

Listening to Touko-san's mutterings is fine, but not being able to understand what it means makes me feel sorry as a listener. That's why I would prefer that she tells this kind of story to Shiki or Azaka, but the fever-addled Touko-san raised the gear on the story's incomprehensibility. 

"The reason I got into doll making you see, was to reach 「out for the perfect」through the perfect human body. 

Adversely he chose to try and reach 「out for the」through the soul, or in other words, an existence that is 「there」but 「not there」, like a cat inside an unfathomable box. The box has a definite form, so you can't see inside it, but the formless soul can be seen into. 

It's similar to the collective subconsciousness some psychologist proposed. He probably thought that if he felt his way along that chain, he would eventually reach the heart. 

Ah, but you see, we both were trying for  the original work. The one original, you could call it, humanity's individuality . Modern humans have become so divided that their lineages and attributes are already impossible to divine. Therefore it's impossible to reach the origin. Lineages and attributes, or in other words fate. It's like a number form, so a life only achieves a certain result if this ability and that role is poured in.  A life that can only achieve this result. It's natural, since the genes have only been granted those abilities. If you call that fate then it will be fate. 

The pinnacle of creation has become too complicated. Probably as a result of being invested with too many abilities after pursuing omnipotence. The genes that are the data which form a human are nothing more than four different bases, but the simple spiral formed by stacking those four types of bases has fallen into the paradox that, by being piled up till it was impossible to measure, it really has become impossible to measure. 

So --- I decided that the only thing to do was to make it myself, although the result was cruel. No matter how hard I tried, the only thing I could make was a perfect me." 

The medicine must have started working as the colour returns to Touko-san's cheeks. 

The eyes that stare into the air too, their focus gets steadily blurred. 

"But --- that person will still be going on.  

The guy that looked toward humanity's 'origin', he said that he got expelled by his teacher while searching for the form of the soul. ... There must be some sort of karma, for him to be getting involved in this kind of thing at this point. Do you understand, Kokuto? I'll warn you beforehand: no matter what happens, do not approach the man in the photo." 

Touko-san spoke as if squeezing out the last dregs of her strength, then she fell asleep straight away. 

Her slight chest moves up and down, repeating quiet breaths. The medicine had definitely taken effect, and she has fallen asleep. 

Changing the wet towel on Touko-san's forehead, I left the room so as not to wake her. 

There's no one in the office next door. 

Only a high toned noise can be heard from the factories around the building. 

Feeling that trailing noise on my skin I muttered to myself. 

"--- Don't approach him? I can't, Touko-san. You see, I knew that guy two years ago." 

But what significance that fact has, I can't know. No, I'm not even sure if the person who helped me then is the guy in the photo. 

Inside me, that person in the photo is unidentifiable, and the fever-ridden Touko-san's words are scattered around like puzzle pieces. 

Uncertain things call out uncertain words. It's only that, but the air that was calm till just now thins out, and it feels like I'll run out of oxygen. 

An uneasiness I can't express with words sends a shiver down my spine.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 0

2009-04-13T02:50:23Z

61.11.175.146:

Autumn was short this year.

With November having passed and winter about to come, Officer Akimi encountered a strange ghost story.

At a workplace, which is second only to a hospital in number of deaths encountered, there is no seasonal time for ghost stories. It is normal that such stories come up year-round with no end.

Naturally, Officer Akimi has become so that he wouldn't bat an eyelash at most stories, but this story was of a different level than others. Anyway, something was recorded in an official report that could only be interpreted as a ghost story. The reason that this story that no one would normally be interested in had gotten into his hands was that his love for mysteries was famous.

That event was concluded to be a false report made by a robber who was wrong in the head.

The contents were rather simple. At the end of October, at a housing complex close to the heart of the city, there had been a robbery. The inhabitants of the house had been away at the time, and among the more than 10 mansions in the complex, the robbed house had been the most high-class.

The robber was someone with a previous criminal record. He was not the type to plan beforehand, but rather someone who suddenly decided to take the opportunity when the house was empty. It is said that the robber went into an empty mansion, took a quick look around, and went into a house that looked like no one was home.

The problem was that a few minutes later, the robber ran to the nearest police station and asked for help.

The robber was in shock and couldn't explain properly, but he had found everyone in that home had been left dead. The policeman who was there followed the robber back to the house. However, contrary to what the robber had said, the members of the house were all alive and enjoying a nice family dinner.

The robber was perplexed, and when the policeman found out that he had broken into an empty house, he was arrested.

“Geez, what is this?”

Having briefly skimmed the report, Officer Akimi muttered to himself on his squeaky chair.

It was definitely a strange story, but it really wasn't especially worth remembering.

The report said that the robber hadn't used alcohol or drugs, and there wasn't anything wrong with his mental condition. To get arrested while making a false report, it was definitely a rare event.

He didn't have time to waste on such a boring and closed case - it was a stretch to even call it a case.

Right now, he was as busy as he was three years ago. In fact, the current disappearance cases were enough to make him suspect that this was the second coming of the case three years ago. It was not very well known, but since October, four people had already disappeared. It was getting more and more difficult to keep quiet the families of the victims.

In such a situation, he couldn't waste time with a story like this. He couldn't, but for some reason, it appealed to him.

“Shit.”

Muttering to himself, he picked up the phone. The place he was calling was the station where the case had taken place. The phone was answered immediately, and Officer Akimi started to ask detailed questions about the case.

Whether they had checked with the neighbors of the "family of corpses" the robber had mentioned, whether there had been any inconsistencies in the robber's description of the bodies.

As expected, the reply was that they had indeed checked with the neighbors and that besides the fact that it was completely false, there was nothing of note about the robber's description of the bodies.

He thanked the person and hung up. Just then, there was a noise behind his back.

“What are you doing, Daisuke? Hurry up, a second body has been found.”

“Already? By the way you say it, I'm assuming it was also left partly eaten?”

Officer Akimi stood up and quickly switched his train of thought. No matter how much this case bothered him, it was already a finished event and not something he needed to take care of urgently.

In this way, even Officer Akimi, who was known to be supremely eccentric, forgot about this case.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 00

2009-04-13T02:47:31Z

61.11.175.146:

When I was young, that piece of metal was my treasure. 
Bulky, rough, small, only functionality. 
The silver piece was cold, and to my memory, holding it tightly hurt me. 
Click, and it spun the beginning of the day half way. 
Click, and it spun the end of the day half way. 
The young me felt honored whenever I heard the sound. 
However, whenever I heard the sound, I could feel my eyes water. 
Click, click, once at the beginning, once at the end. 
It would circle around a day, and it repeated circling. 
Circle and circle, never tiring, never complaining. 
Half joy, half sorrow. The days it circled without a surprise were like a barber pole. 
But the endless days ended without a warning. 
The silver piece was only cold --- no joy. 
If I held it tightly, I bled ----- no sorrow. 
Obvious. A piece of metal is a piece of a metal. There is no fantasy. 
When I became an 18-year-old who knows reality, the piece of metal was no more glittery. 
Then I realized, that becoming a grown-up is selling fantasy for wisdom. 
Because I thought doing so was so premature, I thought the fact was something to be proud of.

／Paradox Spiral

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 00

2009-04-10T02:46:04Z

61.11.175.146:

That day, I chose to take the main street home.
It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.

Walking woodenly along the building-lined street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone came crashing down.
It was a squishing sound that you should never hear.
The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.
A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.
The only features that remained were the dark black hair and the pale, thin, fragile-looking limbs.

And that featureless, crushed face.

The whole scene was surrounded by the old summer, and it reminded me of a pressed flower, flattened between the covers of a heavy tome.

Probably because the corpse, with its neck bent unnaturally, looked like a broken lily to me...

／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-

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Kara no Kyoukai:Void Shrine

2009-04-10T02:44:29Z

61.11.175.146: /* 3 */

===Garan-no-Dou===

====1====

Aozaki Touko first heard the story of the person called Ryougi Shiki on a nice afternoon, not long after they had entered the month of June. 

The origin of it all was that the new employee she had just hired on impulse was Ryougi Shiki's friend, and as a way to pass the time, she lent an ear to his story. 

According to his tale, the person called Ryougi Shiki fell into a comatose state after a traffic accident two years ago. She was retaining her life functions, but there was no possibility of her waking up. Not only that, but the growth of her body also seemed to have stopped. At first, Touko couldn't believe this apparent contradiction. How could a person's life functions continue if they've stopped growing? 

"... Hmm, the only time an organism does not grow is if it is dead. No, even pressure over time affects the dead. A corpse passes through the growth called decay and returns to the earth. The only thing that moves but doesn't grow would be that wind-up doll you brought in and set loose a while ago." 

"But it's true. Since the accident, it doesn't look like she's aged a bit. Are there any other cases where a person is in a coma for which there's no explainable cause, Touko-san?" 

"Hmmm..." goes Touko upon hearing the new employee's question, and crosses her arms. 

"Let's see. There was that famous one in that country over there. A newly married woman in her twenties fell into a coma. She woke up after fifty years had passed - don't you know that one?" 

In reply to Touko's words, the new employee says "No," and shakes his head. 

"Uh, how was that person when she woke up?" 

"Extremely normal. As if she hadn't been sleeping for 50 long years. Her mind was revived just as it had been in her twenties - apparently, it made her husband sad." 

"--- Eh? Sad? How come? His wife's recovery should be a joyous occurrence." 

"The thing is, her mind was still just as it was in her twenties, but her body had grown old into its seventies. Even in a comatose state, leaving something alive means that it will degrade - you can't do anything about that. 

So this seventy-year-old granny is always urging her husband to go out as if she's still in her twenties. The husband has lived the seventy years normally, so he's normal - the problem is the wife. Because fifty years have flowed past without her knowledge, she can't accept the fact no matter how you explain it. It's not that she doesn't want to accept it, she really can't conceive it to be the truth. 

It's a tragedy among tragedies. They say that the lady who wanted to go out to play with that wrinkled face of hers was persuaded not to by her husband, who was in tears. They also say that he had this thought: if it was going to be like this, it would have been better if she hadn't woken up at all. 

How was it? This dream-like tragedy, it's actually something that happened in the past. Was it useful?" 

In wonder, he actually nodded in response to Touko's sarcastic question. 

"Oh, are you onto something?" 

He gave a small nod to the impishly smiling Touko. 

"...Yeah, a little. I'm thinking it might be like this. That Shiki might be trying not to wake up." 

"It sounds like there's a past there. Good. Since I'm bored, shall I listen to the story as a way to pass the time?" 

He gets angry at Touko, who really thinks of it as just another way to kill time, and turns away. 

"No thank you. Touko-san, your insensitivity is a real problem." 

"What? You are the one who brought it up. I understand, so spill it. It's not just a whim for me either. That Azaka, every time she rings it's Shiki this and Shiki that. If I have no idea as to what kind of person this Shiki is, I can't reply, can I?"

At the mention of Azaka's name, he put on a sour face. 

"I've been meaning to ask you for a while, but... how did my little sister come to know you, Touko-san?" 

"One year ago at a tourist spot. I got caught up in an impossible situation and my cover was totally blown." 

"...Well, okay, but Azaka is a very naive child, so please avoid that talk of what's there and what's not around her. She's in that period where I'm worried about her even without her getting involved in all that." 

"Azaka... naive? Well, your relationship with your little sister is your problem, so I won't get involved. Instead, share that story about that kid called Shiki." 

Unable to withstand Touko, who had pushed herself onto the desk, he began talking. 

About his friend Ryougi Shiki's personality and her unique character. 

During high school, he and Ryougi Shiki were classmates. He had a relationship with the name Ryougi Shiki before entering high school, and after getting put in the same class as her, became friends. The only person to have a friendly relationship with Ryougi Shiki, who didn't want any friends, was him. 

But, after the street murders during the first year of high school, Ryougi Shiki began changing in a strange way. 

She confessed to him that she had a dual personality, and that her other side enjoyed murder. 

To be truthful, how R. Shiki was connected to the street murders two years ago is still a mystery. Before anything could be confirmed, she had an accident in front of his eyes and was moved to the hospital. 

During the first days of March, on that cold night of the falling rain. 

That kind of story about someone's life. Touko treated it as just another story told over a beer, but as the story progressed the smile disappeared from her face. 

"--- That's all there is to know about the relationship between Shiki and me. Although the story is already two years old." 

"--- So is that why her growth has stopped? Stocking up her life. It's not even as if she's a vampire." 

Heh, Touko smirked, with the end of the lips curled up. 

"So, how do you write that kid's name? It would be in kanji, wouldn't it?" 

"Shiki(數) from (神), why?" 

"Is it the Shiki of Shikigami(式)? And her family name is Ryougi at that. That's just perfect." 

Stubbing out the cigarette she had been biting in the ashtray, Touko stood up, as if unable to tolerate something any longer. 

"Was that hospital in the suburbs? This is getting interesting... I'll be right back." 

Without waiting for a reply, Touko left the office behind her. 

''I can't believe I'm getting involved in this sort of nonsense at a place like this. What kind of fate is this?'' Touko bit her lip.

====2====

Ryougi Shiki's recovery is a few days later. 

The fact that the situation doesn't even allow for the relatives to visit means that normal visits are out of the question. 

Is it because of that? 

Is that the reason that the new employee is concentrating on his desk-work with a sulkiness which makes it seem that his whole person has undergone a change? 

"It's gloomy, too gloomy." 

"Yes ma'am. A light, I'll obtain one that's suitable." 

He replies without even looking at Touko. 

There are times when a dutiful person will show absurdly eccentric conduct as a result of having missed something. Thinking this teen is of that sort, Touko speaks to him. 

"Don't think so obsessively about it. You seem ready to just charge in there tonight or something." 

"Impossible, ma'am. That hospital, the security is nothing short of a research lab's." 

In contrast to the casual manner in which he replies, it seems as if he's carried out a pretty thorough investigation. 

Touko shrugs, thinking: ''Well, I can't let a brand new employee become a criminal.'' 

"... I was going to stay quiet about this, but since you are so agitated, I'll tell you. I'm going to be working at the hospital as a stand-in from tomorrow. I'll find out how Ryougi Shiki is, so just sit tight for now." 

"--- What?" 

"It just so happened that I got invited as a doctor. Normally I would have refused, but this time it's not as if it's someone else's business. Seeing as I dragged the story out of you, I thought that I had to at least do this for you." 

Touko speaks as if it's no big deal. 

Rising up from his chair, he approaches Touko and grabs hold of her two hands. Voom, voom. The two people's hands go up and down. ...Not realizing that this is an expression of his admiration, Touko stares at him with a stiff face. 

"You have some strange hobbies, don't you?" 

"I'm delighted! In fact, I'm stunned! There's a gentle and virtuous side to Touko-san like in other people after all!" 

"... I realized I'm not like others, but I think it's better not to say things like that." 

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Ah, so that's why you are dressed formally today. It looks very smart; it really suits you. I couldn't recognize you!" 

"... My outfit's the same as always, but whatever, I'll accept the compliments." 

It's useless to say anything, Touko realizes, and quietly folds things up. 

"So don't do anything rash. Even without that sort of thing, that hospital is strange. You will sit here and look after the office, got it?" 

At that, the until-then hyperactive employee settles down. 

"... Strange, you mean that hospital?" 

"Yeah. There's a ward against something placed there. It seems like another magician was meddling with things. Of course, the target wasn't Ryougi Shiki. If it was, they wouldn't have held off for two years." 

It was a whopper of a lie, but the confident way in which she spoke meant he didn't suspect a thing. 

"... Uhm, a ward. That's like the second floor of this building, isn't it?" 

"Yep. A ward is something of different levels which isolates a specified area. They range from ones that really create a wall to ones that cover the target area with an invisible barrier. The highest ranking wards are a form of subliminal coercion that goes, "nothing has been done but no one approaches". It's the same as this building. If you put in place a ''suggestion'' like "anyone who does not have a reason to come here will not be conscious of this place", a ward will be formed which will continue to exist without anyone noticing. A ward that just mimics another world and makes people realize that something is wrong is the worst of the worst." 

A strangeness which prevents you from noticing strangeness - that is her rule of vacancy. A ward which everyone ignores and passes although it's on the map. A world where a pre-eminent magician lives appears to be just like any other neighboring house. 

But, that ward, this new employee unconsciously broke it. This building which he shouldn't have been able to find unless he knew Aozaki Touko, he found too easily. 

... Well, that is also the reason she hired him. 

"... So, is that hospital's ward a dangerous one?" 

"Try listening to what someone is saying. A ward itself does no harm. That word, it originates from Buddhism. A ward is always something that isolates an area from the outside world, although it has somehow come to represent technique by which a magician protects his or her body. 

Understand? I said this just before, but the best wards don't feel weird to a normal person. Let's call it "an idea which forces itself on the unconscious mind". The best of the best reach the stage of "disconnection of space"; but to go that far you are looking at magicians rather than sorcerers. Currently there's only one magician in this country, so basically that kind of ward just can't be formed. 

Well, nothing that powerful was formed, but the ward placed around that hospital is pretty complex. It's good enough that even I didn't notice it for a while. There's a ward specialist that I know - this skill is at the same level as that guy's. 

... Well, among ward specialists there are a lot of philosophers. Most of them are well distanced from anything accompanied by violence, so it should be alright for now." 

That's right, there's no danger in the ward itself. The problem is what is happening within the bounds of that space cut off from the rest of the world. That hospital's ward is aimed inwards, not outwards. In short, it's of the kind that makes it so no one notices no matter what happens within the building. For example, if a room was to explode in the middle of the night, not one person would be woken up by the noise. 

Touko didn't tell him that. Saying something about the time creeping along, she walks out with her eyes focused on the clock. 

His voices catches on her narrow back. 

"Touko-san. Shiki, take good care of her." 

"Alright," Touko says, waving. He asks her another trivial question even though she didn't even bother to turn around. 

"Ah, yes. Touko-san, who's that ward specialist you know?" 

''Tock'', Touko's feet stop. 

She falls into thought for a second, then swings her head around to pierce him with her eyes as she replies. 

"Well, if he's a ward specialist, he's a monk of course." 

====3====

Around six days had passed since Touko was invited to the hospital as a provisional doctor. Every time Touko passed on the news to her employee that Ryougi Shiki's condition was improving every day, she couldn't help but have one little worry. 

That is, whether or not the Ryougi Shiki of the present and the Ryougi Shiki of the past were the same to another person. 

"Taking physiotherapy twice a day and getting a CT scan are like work for her. You'll be able to see her on the day she's released, so just wait a little more." 

Having come back from the hospital, Touko smooths out her orange necktie and sits on the desk. 

The time of evening with summer just ahead. 

The red blaze of the sunset dyes the lightless interior of the office a dark orange. 

"Physiotherapy twice a day? Will Shiki be okay with just that? She's been asleep for two years." 

"They say they moved her joints for her even though she was asleep. On top of that, physiotherapy isn't exercise. Five minutes a day is sufficient. Originally, the term rehabilitation wasn't a medical term, but meant the recovery of one's dignity as a human. That's how Ryougi Shiki, who has been lying around until now, has been able to regain the feeling that she is human. The body's recovery... well, that's a different story." 

Touko lights the cigarette she's holding in her mouth, cutting off the conversation for a while. 

"But you know, the problem isn't of the body, but rather the mind. That kid is becoming different from the Ryougi Shiki of before." 

"--- Is it... memory loss?" 

As if he had prepared for such a thing, he hesitantly says something stupid. 

"Hmm, I wonder.... I believe her personality itself is the same as before. There hasn't been a change to Ryougi Shiki herself. What has changed is Shiki. I don't know if this will come as a shock to you." 

"I'm plenty used to this kind of thing by now. Please explain fully. Shiki... what's happened to her?" 

"Mmm, to tell the truth. She's completely empty. 

Shiki, who until now had always carried around another person inside of her... SHIKI no longer exists. No, she must be unsure whether or not she's even Shiki or SHIKI. 

When she woke up, SHIKI was already gone from inside her. Through his loss, her mind has become a blank space. Maybe --- that kid won't be able to stand the empty space... Her heart is empty. Like a hole, it's completely open. Even the air passes through like the wind." 

"What do you mean, SHIKI's gone --- how come?" 

"He probably died in Shiki's stead. However it happened, Ryougi Shiki died in that accident two years ago. You might misunderstand since she's somehow still alive, but just assume for a minute that she died. Ryougi Shiki came back to life as a new entity inside the body of Ryougi Shiki. The Shiki of now, the Shiki of the past, and the Shiki of the present derived from those memories are nothing but strangers. No one can accept another person's history as their own. That child will perhaps be spending her nights with the thought that 'I'm still not myself'." 

"... Another person? So, Shiki can't remember the things that have happened?" 

"No, she remembers. At present she is definitely the Shiki you know. The reason she's still alive is because she had the equal but separate personalities of Shiki and SHIKI. 

Ryougi Shiki suffered a death of the mind due to the accident. Let's say that SHIKI accepted the role of dying at that time. So, although she should have died at that moment, Shiki was still there in her brain, and as a consequence, her mind didn't die. Shiki has been asleep because of the death of Ryougi Shiki, but since it was SHIKI that died, she was able to survive. 

And so --- she was in a coma for two years, and although her body kept functioning, she didn't grow - all because she was dead yet still alive. 

But the revived her is different from the past Shiki in the details. It's not so bad as to be called memory loss, but she probably won't be able to bring to mind any memories unless she needs to. 

You can't say it's another person or that it's a complete stranger, but she's now different from the Shiki you've known until now. A third personality which is an amalgam of the personalities of Shiki and SHIKI - it would be most appropriate to accept her as such." 

... That's what she said, but in reality such a thing could not happen. 

As long as Shiki was Ryougi, there was no need to mix with SHIKI, who was her other half, and Shiki wouldn't be able to fill the hole left by SHIKI's absence by herself. 

Avoiding any reference to that fact, Touko continues talking. 

"Even if she's revived as a wholly different person, she's still Ryougi Shiki. No matter how little confidence you have in the fact that you are you --- that child is still Ryougi Shiki. Right now she probably can't even feel that she's alive, but the time will come when she will accept that she is Shiki. 

A rose is born as a rose. It doesn't become a different flower just because the ground it's on and the water it receives change." 

So don't be so hung up over it all, she added in a whisper. 

"Eventually, an empty hole has to be filled. She will have to build a new self, not based on her memories of the past, but through her experiences in the present. That's a shrine that no one can help her build. It's not something another person should meddle in. In short, all you have to do is treat her as you've always done. Oh, and it seemed like they were going to release her pretty soon." 

Throwing the burnt-down cigarette stub out the window, Touko raises her arms and straightens her back. 

Crick, crick, crack. The sound her bones make can be clearly heard. 

"I knew I shouldn't have done something I'm not used to. The cigarettes tasted so bad that I was about to go crazy." 

She talked while letting out a long sigh, as if she was tired of the world. 

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</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Void Shrine

2009-04-10T02:38:52Z

61.11.175.146: /* 2 */

===Garan-no-Dou===

====1====

Aozaki Touko first heard the story of the person called Ryougi Shiki on a nice afternoon, not long after they had entered the month of June. 

The origin of it all was that the new employee she had just hired on impulse was Ryougi Shiki's friend, and as a way to pass the time, she lent an ear to his story. 

According to his tale, the person called Ryougi Shiki fell into a comatose state after a traffic accident two years ago. She was retaining her life functions, but there was no possibility of her waking up. Not only that, but the growth of her body also seemed to have stopped. At first, Touko couldn't believe this apparent contradiction. How could a person's life functions continue if they've stopped growing? 

"... Hmm, the only time an organism does not grow is if it is dead. No, even pressure over time affects the dead. A corpse passes through the growth called decay and returns to the earth. The only thing that moves but doesn't grow would be that wind-up doll you brought in and set loose a while ago." 

"But it's true. Since the accident, it doesn't look like she's aged a bit. Are there any other cases where a person is in a coma for which there's no explainable cause, Touko-san?" 

"Hmmm..." goes Touko upon hearing the new employee's question, and crosses her arms. 

"Let's see. There was that famous one in that country over there. A newly married woman in her twenties fell into a coma. She woke up after fifty years had passed - don't you know that one?" 

In reply to Touko's words, the new employee says "No," and shakes his head. 

"Uh, how was that person when she woke up?" 

"Extremely normal. As if she hadn't been sleeping for 50 long years. Her mind was revived just as it had been in her twenties - apparently, it made her husband sad." 

"--- Eh? Sad? How come? His wife's recovery should be a joyous occurrence." 

"The thing is, her mind was still just as it was in her twenties, but her body had grown old into its seventies. Even in a comatose state, leaving something alive means that it will degrade - you can't do anything about that. 

So this seventy-year-old granny is always urging her husband to go out as if she's still in her twenties. The husband has lived the seventy years normally, so he's normal - the problem is the wife. Because fifty years have flowed past without her knowledge, she can't accept the fact no matter how you explain it. It's not that she doesn't want to accept it, she really can't conceive it to be the truth. 

It's a tragedy among tragedies. They say that the lady who wanted to go out to play with that wrinkled face of hers was persuaded not to by her husband, who was in tears. They also say that he had this thought: if it was going to be like this, it would have been better if she hadn't woken up at all. 

How was it? This dream-like tragedy, it's actually something that happened in the past. Was it useful?" 

In wonder, he actually nodded in response to Touko's sarcastic question. 

"Oh, are you onto something?" 

He gave a small nod to the impishly smiling Touko. 

"...Yeah, a little. I'm thinking it might be like this. That Shiki might be trying not to wake up." 

"It sounds like there's a past there. Good. Since I'm bored, shall I listen to the story as a way to pass the time?" 

He gets angry at Touko, who really thinks of it as just another way to kill time, and turns away. 

"No thank you. Touko-san, your insensitivity is a real problem." 

"What? You are the one who brought it up. I understand, so spill it. It's not just a whim for me either. That Azaka, every time she rings it's Shiki this and Shiki that. If I have no idea as to what kind of person this Shiki is, I can't reply, can I?"

At the mention of Azaka's name, he put on a sour face. 

"I've been meaning to ask you for a while, but... how did my little sister come to know you, Touko-san?" 

"One year ago at a tourist spot. I got caught up in an impossible situation and my cover was totally blown." 

"...Well, okay, but Azaka is a very naive child, so please avoid that talk of what's there and what's not around her. She's in that period where I'm worried about her even without her getting involved in all that." 

"Azaka... naive? Well, your relationship with your little sister is your problem, so I won't get involved. Instead, share that story about that kid called Shiki." 

Unable to withstand Touko, who had pushed herself onto the desk, he began talking. 

About his friend Ryougi Shiki's personality and her unique character. 

During high school, he and Ryougi Shiki were classmates. He had a relationship with the name Ryougi Shiki before entering high school, and after getting put in the same class as her, became friends. The only person to have a friendly relationship with Ryougi Shiki, who didn't want any friends, was him. 

But, after the street murders during the first year of high school, Ryougi Shiki began changing in a strange way. 

She confessed to him that she had a dual personality, and that her other side enjoyed murder. 

To be truthful, how R. Shiki was connected to the street murders two years ago is still a mystery. Before anything could be confirmed, she had an accident in front of his eyes and was moved to the hospital. 

During the first days of March, on that cold night of the falling rain. 

That kind of story about someone's life. Touko treated it as just another story told over a beer, but as the story progressed the smile disappeared from her face. 

"--- That's all there is to know about the relationship between Shiki and me. Although the story is already two years old." 

"--- So is that why her growth has stopped? Stocking up her life. It's not even as if she's a vampire." 

Heh, Touko smirked, with the end of the lips curled up. 

"So, how do you write that kid's name? It would be in kanji, wouldn't it?" 

"Shiki(數) from (神), why?" 

"Is it the Shiki of Shikigami(式)? And her family name is Ryougi at that. That's just perfect." 

Stubbing out the cigarette she had been biting in the ashtray, Touko stood up, as if unable to tolerate something any longer. 

"Was that hospital in the suburbs? This is getting interesting... I'll be right back." 

Without waiting for a reply, Touko left the office behind her. 

''I can't believe I'm getting involved in this sort of nonsense at a place like this. What kind of fate is this?'' Touko bit her lip.

====2====

Ryougi Shiki's recovery is a few days later. 

The fact that the situation doesn't even allow for the relatives to visit means that normal visits are out of the question. 

Is it because of that? 

Is that the reason that the new employee is concentrating on his desk-work with a sulkiness which makes it seem that his whole person has undergone a change? 

"It's gloomy, too gloomy." 

"Yes ma'am. A light, I'll obtain one that's suitable." 

He replies without even looking at Touko. 

There are times when a dutiful person will show absurdly eccentric conduct as a result of having missed something. Thinking this teen is of that sort, Touko speaks to him. 

"Don't think so obsessively about it. You seem ready to just charge in there tonight or something." 

"Impossible, ma'am. That hospital, the security is nothing short of a research lab's." 

In contrast to the casual manner in which he replies, it seems as if he's carried out a pretty thorough investigation. 

Touko shrugs, thinking: ''Well, I can't let a brand new employee become a criminal.'' 

"... I was going to stay quiet about this, but since you are so agitated, I'll tell you. I'm going to be working at the hospital as a stand-in from tomorrow. I'll find out how Ryougi Shiki is, so just sit tight for now." 

"--- What?" 

"It just so happened that I got invited as a doctor. Normally I would have refused, but this time it's not as if it's someone else's business. Seeing as I dragged the story out of you, I thought that I had to at least do this for you." 

Touko speaks as if it's no big deal. 

Rising up from his chair, he approaches Touko and grabs hold of her two hands. Voom, voom. The two people's hands go up and down. ...Not realizing that this is an expression of his admiration, Touko stares at him with a stiff face. 

"You have some strange hobbies, don't you?" 

"I'm delighted! In fact, I'm stunned! There's a gentle and virtuous side to Touko-san like in other people after all!" 

"... I realized I'm not like others, but I think it's better not to say things like that." 

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Ah, so that's why you are dressed formally today. It looks very smart; it really suits you. I couldn't recognize you!" 

"... My outfit's the same as always, but whatever, I'll accept the compliments." 

It's useless to say anything, Touko realizes, and quietly folds things up. 

"So don't do anything rash. Even without that sort of thing, that hospital is strange. You will sit here and look after the office, got it?" 

At that, the until-then hyperactive employee settles down. 

"... Strange, you mean that hospital?" 

"Yeah. There's a ward against something placed there. It seems like another magician was meddling with things. Of course, the target wasn't Ryougi Shiki. If it was, they wouldn't have held off for two years." 

It was a whopper of a lie, but the confident way in which she spoke meant he didn't suspect a thing. 

"... Uhm, a ward. That's like the second floor of this building, isn't it?" 

"Yep. A ward is something of different levels which isolates a specified area. They range from ones that really create a wall to ones that cover the target area with an invisible barrier. The highest ranking wards are a form of subliminal coercion that goes, "nothing has been done but no one approaches". It's the same as this building. If you put in place a ''suggestion'' like "anyone who does not have a reason to come here will not be conscious of this place", a ward will be formed which will continue to exist without anyone noticing. A ward that just mimics another world and makes people realize that something is wrong is the worst of the worst." 

A strangeness which prevents you from noticing strangeness - that is her rule of vacancy. A ward which everyone ignores and passes although it's on the map. A world where a pre-eminent magician lives appears to be just like any other neighboring house. 

But, that ward, this new employee unconsciously broke it. This building which he shouldn't have been able to find unless he knew Aozaki Touko, he found too easily. 

... Well, that is also the reason she hired him. 

"... So, is that hospital's ward a dangerous one?" 

"Try listening to what someone is saying. A ward itself does no harm. That word, it originates from Buddhism. A ward is always something that isolates an area from the outside world, although it has somehow come to represent technique by which a magician protects his or her body. 

Understand? I said this just before, but the best wards don't feel weird to a normal person. Let's call it "an idea which forces itself on the unconscious mind". The best of the best reach the stage of "disconnection of space"; but to go that far you are looking at magicians rather than sorcerers. Currently there's only one magician in this country, so basically that kind of ward just can't be formed. 

Well, nothing that powerful was formed, but the ward placed around that hospital is pretty complex. It's good enough that even I didn't notice it for a while. There's a ward specialist that I know - this skill is at the same level as that guy's. 

... Well, among ward specialists there are a lot of philosophers. Most of them are well distanced from anything accompanied by violence, so it should be alright for now." 

That's right, there's no danger in the ward itself. The problem is what is happening within the bounds of that space cut off from the rest of the world. That hospital's ward is aimed inwards, not outwards. In short, it's of the kind that makes it so no one notices no matter what happens within the building. For example, if a room was to explode in the middle of the night, not one person would be woken up by the noise. 

Touko didn't tell him that. Saying something about the time creeping along, she walks out with her eyes focused on the clock. 

His voices catches on her narrow back. 

"Touko-san. Shiki, take good care of her." 

"Alright," Touko says, waving. He asks her another trivial question even though she didn't even bother to turn around. 

"Ah, yes. Touko-san, who's that ward specialist you know?" 

''Tock'', Touko's feet stop. 

She falls into thought for a second, then swings her head around to pierce him with her eyes as she replies. 

"Well, if he's a ward specialist, he's a monk of course." 

====3====

Around six days had passed since Touko was invited to the hospital as a provisional doctor. Every time Touko passed on the news to her employee that Ryougi Shiki's condition was improving every day; she couldn't help but have one little worry. 

That is, whether or not the Ryougi Shiki of the present and the Ryougi Shiki of the past were the same to another person. 

"Taking physiotherapy twice a day and getting a CT scan are like work for her. You'll be able to see her on the day she's released so just wait a little more." 

Having come back from the hospital Touko smooths out her orange necktie and sits on the desk. 

The time of evening with summer just ahead. 

The red blaze of the sunset dyes the lightless interior of the office a dark orange. 

"Physiotherapy twice a day? Will Shiki be okay with just that? She's been asleep for two years." 

"They say they moved her joints for her even though the patient was asleep. On top of that physiotherapy isn't exercise. Five minutes a day is sufficient. Originally the term rehabilitation wasn't a medical term; but means the recovery of one's dignity as a human. That's how Ryougi Shiki, who has been lying around until now, has been able to regain the feeling that she is human. The body's recovery, well that's a different story." 

Touko lights the cigarette she's holding in her mouth, cutting off the conversation for a while. 

"But you know, the problem isn't of the body, but rather the mind. That kid is becoming different from the Ryougi Shiki of before." 

"--- Is it... Memory loss?" 

As if he had prepared for such a thing, he hesitantly says something stupid. 

"Hmm, I wonder.... I believe her personality itself is the same as before. There hasn't been a change to Ryougi Shiki herself. What has changed is Shiki. I don't know if this will come as a shock to you." 

"I'm plenty used to this kind of thing by now. Please explain fully. Shiki... what's happened to her?" 

"Mmm, to tell the truth. She's completely empty. 

Shiki who until now had always carried around another person inside of her... SHIKI no longer exists. No, she must be unsure whether or not she's even Shiki or SHIKI. 

When she woke up SHIKI was already gone from inside her. Through his loss her mind has become a blank space. Maybe --- that kid won't be able to stand the empty space... Her heart is empty. Like a hole it's completely open. Even the air passes through like the wind." 

"What do you mean SHIKI's gone --- how come?" 

"He probably died in Shiki's stead. However it happened, Ryougi Shiki died in that accident two years ago. You might misunderstand since she's somehow still alive, but just assume for a minute that she died. Ryougi Shiki came back to life as a new entity inside the body of Ryougi Shiki. The Shiki of now, the Shiki of the past, and the Shiki of the present derived from those memories are nothing but strangers. No one can accept another person's history as their own. That child will perhaps be spending her nights with the thought that 'I'm still not myself'." 

"... Another person? So, Shiki can't remember the things that have happened?" 

"No, she remembers. At present she is definitely the Shiki you know. The reason she's still alive is because she had the equal but separate personalities of Shiki and SHIKI. 

Ryougi Shiki suffered a death of the mind due to the accident. Let's say that SHIKI accepted the role of dying at that time. So, although she should have died at that moment, Shiki was still there in her brain and as a consequence her mind didn't die. Shiki has been asleep because of the death of Ryougi Shiki, but since it was SHIKI that died she was able to survive. 

And so --- she was in a coma for two years, and although her body kept functioning she didn't grow; all because she was dead yet still alive. 

But the revived her is different to the past Shiki in the details. It's not so bad as to call it memory loss but she probably won't be able to bring to mind any memories unless she needs to. 

You can't say it's another person or that it's a complete stranger but she's now different from the Shiki you've known till now. A third personality which is an amalgam of the personalities of Shiki and SHIKI, it would be most appropriate to accept her as such." 

... That's what she said, but in reality such a thing could not happen. 

As long as Shiki was Ryougi, there was no need to mix with SHIKI who was her other half, and Shiki wouldn't be able to fill the hole left by SHIKI's absence by herself. 

Avoiding any reference to that fact Touko continues talking. 

"Even if she's revived as a wholly different person she's still Ryougi Shiki. No matter how little confidence you have in the fact that you are you --- that child is still Ryougi Shiki. Right now she probably can't even feel that she's alive, but the time will come when she will accept that she is Shiki. 

A rose is born as a rose. It doesn't become a different flower just because the ground it's on and the water it receives change." 

So don't be so hung up over it all, she added in a whisper. 

"Eventually an empty hole has to be filled. She will have to build a new self, not based on her memories of the past but through her experiences in the present. That's a shrine that no one can help her build. It's not something another person should meddle in. In short all you have to do is treat her as you've always done. Oh, and it seemed like they were going to release her pretty soon." 

Throwing the burnt down cigarette stub out the window Touko raises her arms and straightens her back. 

Crick, crick, crack. The sound her bones make can be clearly heard. 

"I knew I shouldn't have done something I'm not used to. The cigarettes tasted so bad that I was about to go crazy." 

She talked while letting out a long sigh as if she was tired of the world. 

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</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Void Shrine

2009-04-10T02:33:06Z

61.11.175.146: /* 1 */

===Garan-no-Dou===

====1====

Aozaki Touko first heard the story of the person called Ryougi Shiki on a nice afternoon, not long after they had entered the month of June. 

The origin of it all was that the new employee she had just hired on impulse was Ryougi Shiki's friend, and as a way to pass the time, she lent an ear to his story. 

According to his tale, the person called Ryougi Shiki fell into a comatose state after a traffic accident two years ago. She was retaining her life functions, but there was no possibility of her waking up. Not only that, but the growth of her body also seemed to have stopped. At first, Touko couldn't believe this apparent contradiction. How could a person's life functions continue if they've stopped growing? 

"... Hmm, the only time an organism does not grow is if it is dead. No, even pressure over time affects the dead. A corpse passes through the growth called decay and returns to the earth. The only thing that moves but doesn't grow would be that wind-up doll you brought in and set loose a while ago." 

"But it's true. Since the accident, it doesn't look like she's aged a bit. Are there any other cases where a person is in a coma for which there's no explainable cause, Touko-san?" 

"Hmmm..." goes Touko upon hearing the new employee's question, and crosses her arms. 

"Let's see. There was that famous one in that country over there. A newly married woman in her twenties fell into a coma. She woke up after fifty years had passed - don't you know that one?" 

In reply to Touko's words, the new employee says "No," and shakes his head. 

"Uh, how was that person when she woke up?" 

"Extremely normal. As if she hadn't been sleeping for 50 long years. Her mind was revived just as it had been in her twenties - apparently, it made her husband sad." 

"--- Eh? Sad? How come? His wife's recovery should be a joyous occurrence." 

"The thing is, her mind was still just as it was in her twenties, but her body had grown old into its seventies. Even in a comatose state, leaving something alive means that it will degrade - you can't do anything about that. 

So this seventy-year-old granny is always urging her husband to go out as if she's still in her twenties. The husband has lived the seventy years normally, so he's normal - the problem is the wife. Because fifty years have flowed past without her knowledge, she can't accept the fact no matter how you explain it. It's not that she doesn't want to accept it, she really can't conceive it to be the truth. 

It's a tragedy among tragedies. They say that the lady who wanted to go out to play with that wrinkled face of hers was persuaded not to by her husband, who was in tears. They also say that he had this thought: if it was going to be like this, it would have been better if she hadn't woken up at all. 

How was it? This dream-like tragedy, it's actually something that happened in the past. Was it useful?" 

In wonder, he actually nodded in response to Touko's sarcastic question. 

"Oh, are you onto something?" 

He gave a small nod to the impishly smiling Touko. 

"...Yeah, a little. I'm thinking it might be like this. That Shiki might be trying not to wake up." 

"It sounds like there's a past there. Good. Since I'm bored, shall I listen to the story as a way to pass the time?" 

He gets angry at Touko, who really thinks of it as just another way to kill time, and turns away. 

"No thank you. Touko-san, your insensitivity is a real problem." 

"What? You are the one who brought it up. I understand, so spill it. It's not just a whim for me either. That Azaka, every time she rings it's Shiki this and Shiki that. If I have no idea as to what kind of person this Shiki is, I can't reply, can I?"

At the mention of Azaka's name, he put on a sour face. 

"I've been meaning to ask you for a while, but... how did my little sister come to know you, Touko-san?" 

"One year ago at a tourist spot. I got caught up in an impossible situation and my cover was totally blown." 

"...Well, okay, but Azaka is a very naive child, so please avoid that talk of what's there and what's not around her. She's in that period where I'm worried about her even without her getting involved in all that." 

"Azaka... naive? Well, your relationship with your little sister is your problem, so I won't get involved. Instead, share that story about that kid called Shiki." 

Unable to withstand Touko, who had pushed herself onto the desk, he began talking. 

About his friend Ryougi Shiki's personality and her unique character. 

During high school, he and Ryougi Shiki were classmates. He had a relationship with the name Ryougi Shiki before entering high school, and after getting put in the same class as her, became friends. The only person to have a friendly relationship with Ryougi Shiki, who didn't want any friends, was him. 

But, after the street murders during the first year of high school, Ryougi Shiki began changing in a strange way. 

She confessed to him that she had a dual personality, and that her other side enjoyed murder. 

To be truthful, how R. Shiki was connected to the street murders two years ago is still a mystery. Before anything could be confirmed, she had an accident in front of his eyes and was moved to the hospital. 

During the first days of March, on that cold night of the falling rain. 

That kind of story about someone's life. Touko treated it as just another story told over a beer, but as the story progressed the smile disappeared from her face. 

"--- That's all there is to know about the relationship between Shiki and me. Although the story is already two years old." 

"--- So is that why her growth has stopped? Stocking up her life. It's not even as if she's a vampire." 

Heh, Touko smirked, with the end of the lips curled up. 

"So, how do you write that kid's name? It would be in kanji, wouldn't it?" 

"Shiki(數) from (神), why?" 

"Is it the Shiki of Shikigami(式)? And her family name is Ryougi at that. That's just perfect." 

Stubbing out the cigarette she had been biting in the ashtray, Touko stood up, as if unable to tolerate something any longer. 

"Was that hospital in the suburbs? This is getting interesting... I'll be right back." 

Without waiting for a reply, Touko left the office behind her. 

''I can't believe I'm getting involved in this sort of nonsense at a place like this. What kind of fate is this?'' Touko bit her lip.

====2====

Ryougi Shiki's recovery is a few days later. 

The fact that the situation doesn't even allow for the relatives to visit means that normal visits are out of the question. 

Is it because of that? 

Is that the reason that the new employee is concentrating on his desk-work with a sulkiness which makes it seem that his whole person has undergone a change. 

"It's gloomy, too gloomy." 

"Yes ma'am. A light, I'll obtain one that's suitable." 

He replies without even looking at Touko. 

There are times when a dutiful person will show absurdly eccentric conduct as a result of having missed something. Thinking this teen is of that sort, Touko speaks to him. 

"Don't think so obsessively about it. You seem ready to just charge in there tonight or something." 

"Impossible ma'am. That hospital, the security is nothing short of a research lab." 

In contrast to the casual manner in which he replies, it seems as if he's carried out a pretty thorough investigation. 

Touko shrugs, thinking: ''Well, I can't let a brand new employee become a criminal.'' 

"... I was going to stay quiet about this, but since you are so agitated I'll tell. I'm going to be working at the hospital as a stand-in from tomorrow. I'll find out how Ryougi Shiki is, so just sit tight for now." 

"--- What?" 

"It just so happened that I got invited as a doctor. Normally I would have refused but this time it's not as if it's someone else's business. Seeing as I dragged the story out of you I thought that I had to at least do this for you." 

Touko speaks as if it's no big deal. 

Rising up from his chair, he approaches Touko and grabs hold of her two hands. Voom, voom. The two people's hands go up and down. ... Not realizing that this is an expression of his admiration, Touko stares at him with a stiff face. 

"You have some strange hobbies, don't you?" 

"I'm delighted! In fact, I'm stunned! There's a gentle and virtuous side to Touko-san like in other people after all!" 

"... I realized I'm not like others, but I think it's better not to say things like that." 

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Ah, so that's why you are dressed formally today. It looks very smart, it really suits you. I couldn't recognize you!" 

"... My outfit's the same as always but, whatever, I'll accept the compliments." 

It's useless to say anything, Touko realizes, and quietly folds things up. 

"So don't do anything rash. Even without that sort of thing that hospital is strange. You will sit here and look after the office, got it?" 

At that, the until-then hyperactive employee settles down. 

"... Strange, you mean that hospital?" 

"Yeah. There's a ward against something placed there. It seems like another magician was meddling with things. Of course, the target wasn't Ryougi Shiki. If it was, they wouldn't have held off for two years." 

It was a whopper of a lie but the confident way in which she spoke meant he didn't suspect a thing. 

"... Uhm, a ward. That's like the second floor of this building isn't it?" 

"Yep. A ward is something of different levels which isolates a specified area. They range from ones that really create a wall, to ones that cover the target area with an invisible barrier. The highest ranking wards are a form of subliminal coercion that goes, "nothing has been done but no one approaches". It's the same as this building. If you put in place a ''suggestion'' like: "Anyone who does not have a reason to come here will not be conscious of this place", a ward will be formed which will continue to exist without anyone noticing. A ward that just mimics another world and makes people realize that something is wrong is the worst of the worst." 

A strangeness which prevents you from noticing strangeness, that is her rule of vacancy. A ward which everyone ignores and passes although it's on the map. A world where a pre-eminent magician lives, appears to be just like any other neighboring house. 

But that ward, this new employee unconsciously broke it. This building which he shouldn't have been able to find unless he knew Aozaki Touko, he found too easily. 

... Well, that is also the reason she hired him. 

"... So, is that hospital's ward a dangerous one?" 

"Try listening to what someone is saying. A ward itself does no harm. That word, it originates from Buddhism. A ward is always something that isolates an area from the outside world; although it has somehow come to represent technique by which a magician protects his or her body. 

Understand? I said this just before, but the best wards don't feel weird to a normal person. Shall we call it "an idea which forces itself on the unconscious mind". The best of the best reach the stage of "disconnection of space"; but to go that far you are looking at magicians rather than sorcerers. Currently there's only one magician in this country, so basically that kind of ward just can't be formed. 

Well nothing that powerful was formed, but the ward placed around that hospital is pretty complex. It's good enough that even I didn't notice it for a while. There's a ward specialist that I know, this skill is at the same level as that guy. 

... Well, among ward specialists there are a lot of philosophers. Most of them are well distanced from anything accompanied by violence so it should be alright for now." 

That's right, there's no danger in the ward itself. The problem is what is happening within the bounds of that space cut off from the rest of the world. That hospital's ward is aimed inwards, not outwards. In short, it's of the kind that makes it so no one notices no matter what happens within the building. For example, if a room was to explode in the middle of the night not one person would be woken up by the noise. 

Touko didn't tell him that. Saying something about the time creeping along, she walks out with her eyes focused on the clock. 

His voices catches on her narrow back. 

"Touko-san. Shiki, take good care of her." 

"Alright," Touko says, waving. He asks her another trivial question even though she didn't even bother to turn around. 

"Ah, yes. Touko-san, who's that ward specialist you know?" 

''Tock'', Touko's feet stop. 

She falls into thought for a second then swings her head around to pierce him with her eyes as she replies. 

"Well, if he's a ward specialist, he's a monk of course." 

====3====

Around six days had passed since Touko was invited to the hospital as a provisional doctor. Every time Touko passed on the news to her employee that Ryougi Shiki's condition was improving every day; she couldn't help but have one little worry. 

That is, whether or not the Ryougi Shiki of the present and the Ryougi Shiki of the past were the same to another person. 

"Taking physiotherapy twice a day and getting a CT scan are like work for her. You'll be able to see her on the day she's released so just wait a little more." 

Having come back from the hospital Touko smooths out her orange necktie and sits on the desk. 

The time of evening with summer just ahead. 

The red blaze of the sunset dyes the lightless interior of the office a dark orange. 

"Physiotherapy twice a day? Will Shiki be okay with just that? She's been asleep for two years." 

"They say they moved her joints for her even though the patient was asleep. On top of that physiotherapy isn't exercise. Five minutes a day is sufficient. Originally the term rehabilitation wasn't a medical term; but means the recovery of one's dignity as a human. That's how Ryougi Shiki, who has been lying around until now, has been able to regain the feeling that she is human. The body's recovery, well that's a different story." 

Touko lights the cigarette she's holding in her mouth, cutting off the conversation for a while. 

"But you know, the problem isn't of the body, but rather the mind. That kid is becoming different from the Ryougi Shiki of before." 

"--- Is it... Memory loss?" 

As if he had prepared for such a thing, he hesitantly says something stupid. 

"Hmm, I wonder.... I believe her personality itself is the same as before. There hasn't been a change to Ryougi Shiki herself. What has changed is Shiki. I don't know if this will come as a shock to you." 

"I'm plenty used to this kind of thing by now. Please explain fully. Shiki... what's happened to her?" 

"Mmm, to tell the truth. She's completely empty. 

Shiki who until now had always carried around another person inside of her... SHIKI no longer exists. No, she must be unsure whether or not she's even Shiki or SHIKI. 

When she woke up SHIKI was already gone from inside her. Through his loss her mind has become a blank space. Maybe --- that kid won't be able to stand the empty space... Her heart is empty. Like a hole it's completely open. Even the air passes through like the wind." 

"What do you mean SHIKI's gone --- how come?" 

"He probably died in Shiki's stead. However it happened, Ryougi Shiki died in that accident two years ago. You might misunderstand since she's somehow still alive, but just assume for a minute that she died. Ryougi Shiki came back to life as a new entity inside the body of Ryougi Shiki. The Shiki of now, the Shiki of the past, and the Shiki of the present derived from those memories are nothing but strangers. No one can accept another person's history as their own. That child will perhaps be spending her nights with the thought that 'I'm still not myself'." 

"... Another person? So, Shiki can't remember the things that have happened?" 

"No, she remembers. At present she is definitely the Shiki you know. The reason she's still alive is because she had the equal but separate personalities of Shiki and SHIKI. 

Ryougi Shiki suffered a death of the mind due to the accident. Let's say that SHIKI accepted the role of dying at that time. So, although she should have died at that moment, Shiki was still there in her brain and as a consequence her mind didn't die. Shiki has been asleep because of the death of Ryougi Shiki, but since it was SHIKI that died she was able to survive. 

And so --- she was in a coma for two years, and although her body kept functioning she didn't grow; all because she was dead yet still alive. 

But the revived her is different to the past Shiki in the details. It's not so bad as to call it memory loss but she probably won't be able to bring to mind any memories unless she needs to. 

You can't say it's another person or that it's a complete stranger but she's now different from the Shiki you've known till now. A third personality which is an amalgam of the personalities of Shiki and SHIKI, it would be most appropriate to accept her as such." 

... That's what she said, but in reality such a thing could not happen. 

As long as Shiki was Ryougi, there was no need to mix with SHIKI who was her other half, and Shiki wouldn't be able to fill the hole left by SHIKI's absence by herself. 

Avoiding any reference to that fact Touko continues talking. 

"Even if she's revived as a wholly different person she's still Ryougi Shiki. No matter how little confidence you have in the fact that you are you --- that child is still Ryougi Shiki. Right now she probably can't even feel that she's alive, but the time will come when she will accept that she is Shiki. 

A rose is born as a rose. It doesn't become a different flower just because the ground it's on and the water it receives change." 

So don't be so hung up over it all, she added in a whisper. 

"Eventually an empty hole has to be filled. She will have to build a new self, not based on her memories of the past but through her experiences in the present. That's a shrine that no one can help her build. It's not something another person should meddle in. In short all you have to do is treat her as you've always done. Oh, and it seemed like they were going to release her pretty soon." 

Throwing the burnt down cigarette stub out the window Touko raises her arms and straightens her back. 

Crick, crick, crack. The sound her bones make can be clearly heard. 

"I knew I shouldn't have done something I'm not used to. The cigarettes tasted so bad that I was about to go crazy." 

She talked while letting out a long sigh as if she was tired of the world. 

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_03|Previous Section]]
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| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_04|Next Section]]
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|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter-final

2009-04-10T02:22:54Z

61.11.175.146: /* Void Shrine (Garan-no-Dou) */

===Void Shrine (Garan-no-Dou)===

I think of the time when my consciousness has fallen into dreaming and settled down. 

SHIKI who has disappeared. A self who was another person. What did he disappear in exchange for, what did he sacrifice his life to protect? 

Going through Ryougi Shiki's memories, I realised what. 

Probably --- SHIKI protected his dream. His dream that he would live happily. 

Was that dream that class friend? Or was that young man the person he wanted to be as a man? That's something I can no longer find out. 

SHIKI disappeared so he wouldn't lose him and Shiki. 

Leaving me, with this deep solitude. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The morning sunlight enters the room. 

At that warmth, my eyes, which have recovered their sight, open. 

I'm sleeping in the bed. That incident last night would have been settled well by the sorceress.
No, that kind of thing is unimportant. Rather than things like that, let's think of him for now. 

Still in that prone position, I lay there without even moving my head and breathed in the morning air. 

How long has it been since I woke to the morning sunlight? 

Thin but strong. The bright light colors over the darkness in my heart. 

This strange life I have just taken hold of and --- The other me that will not return, they melt together and disappear into the light. The existence of Ryougi SHIKI and his dreams... are disappearing. 

If I could cry, I wanted to shed tears for him. But my eyes are dry. I've decided to cry only once, and it's not right to cry about this. 

Now that I can no longer go back, I'll never regret it again. 

Like this darkness, opening up in front of the morning sunlight. 

To disappear cleanly like this, it's what he would have wanted. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

"Hello, Shiki." 

A voice from next to me. 

I just twist my head to the side. 

Standing there is the friend I knew a long time ago. The black-rimmed glasses, even his unstyled black hair, he really hasn't changed. 

"Do you, know me... ?" 

His voice is strangely shaky. 

... Ahhh, I already knew. That you were always waiting for Shiki, and that only you were always there, protecting me. 

"Kokutou Mikiya. Sounds like a French poet." 

At my mumbling voice, he smiles brightly. Like when we met at school after just one day, that brightly. 

How much effort was hidden in that simple smile, I can't know. 

Only --- it seems he remembers that promise as well. 

"It's great that the weather is nice today. Perfect to get out of hospital." 

With tears brimming in his eyes, he speaks as naturally as he can. 

To the empty me, that was warmer than anything. A smiling face over a crying face, that's what this friend chose. 

To acknowledge isolation rather than be isolated, that's what SHIKI chose. 

<nowiki>---</nowiki> Although I haven't chosen either side yet. 

"... Ahhh. Are there things that don't disappear?" 

His smiling face that seems to become one with the soft sunlight, I just blankly gazed upon it. 

Until I was sick of it. 

<nowiki>---</nowiki> I know that the hole punched in my chest can't be filled with things like that, but right now, I don't want to do anything else. Because... 

... His soft, smiling face. 
That was the same face as the one in my memories. 

/Void Shrine(Garan-no-Dou)

'''/End'''

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
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| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Ceremony_of_Boundary-1|Next Section]]
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</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter04 03

2009-04-10T02:19:00Z

61.11.175.146: /* /3 */

===/3===

The ''something''th morning since I woke up comes around. My eyes are still wrapped in bandages, so I can't see a thing. 

A quiet morning with no one around. 

The wavelet-like silence is so dazzling that I lose my sense of self. 
--I can hear the chattering of little birds. 
--I can feel the warmth of the sunlight. 
--The clear air feels my lungs. 
--Ah. Compared to that world, this place is so beautiful. 

But, there's a self that's not happy with this. Every time I'm wrapped in the morning air that I can only feel by sense, I just think: 

--They are this happy. 

Humans are loners like this. Being alone is safest, so how come we can't bear being alone? 

The past me was complete. Because I was self-sufficient, I didn't need anyone else. But, I'm different now. I'm no longer complete. I'm waiting for a part I lack. I'm just desperately waiting like this. 

But just who am I waiting for...? 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The lady doctor who called herself a counselor came daily. Before I knew it, I seemed to be treating my talks with her as my only relief from the mundane during the course of the days. 

"Hmm, as expected. It's not that SHIKI didn't have control over the body, it's just that he didn't exercise it. You two keep getting more fascinating the more I hear about you." 

Still bringing the chair over and sitting there next to the bed, the lady doctor talks as if she's amused by something. For some reason she knows my circumstances very well: the dual personality that only a few even within the Ryougi family know about, my involvement in the serial murder case two years ago. Those are details that normally I would have to keep hiding, but to me, they are inconsequential events anyway. 

Before I knew it, I was responding to the counselor's light teasing. 

"There's nothing funny about having a dual personality." 

"No, no. You know, you two don't have anything as pleasing to look at as dissociative identity disorder. Existing simultaneously, each having their own unique will, and on top of that your actions are coordinated. That sort of complex personality shouldn't be called a "dissociated identity," but rather a "united independent personality"." 

"United... independent personality?" 

"Yeah. Still, some questions remain. In that case, there was no reason for SHIKI to stay asleep, but according to your story he was always sleeping. That part of it is a little strange." 

SHIKI, who was always asleep. 

... I'm probably the only one who knows why. 

SHIKI, more than Shiki --- liked to dream. 

"So, is he still sleeping, that guy?" 

I don't reply to the lady doctor's words. 

"So that's how it is. He did die. Two years ago during the accident, in your stead. 
That's why you have an omission in your memory. Since he's dead, those memories won't be coming back... How Ryougi Shiki was associated with the street serial killer... with this, that knowledge has truly disappeared into the darkness." 

"That event. They said that the criminal was never caught." 

"Yeah. After your accident, the criminal disappeared as if he were a lie." 

I wonder to what extent that is true, the lady doctor said with a laugh. 

"However, there was no reason for SHIKI-kun to disappear. If he just stayed asleep, ignoring the world outside, Shiki would have disappeared. For some reason, he must have wished for himself to disappear." 

That kind of thing, even if she asks me I don't have any answers. 

"I don't know. More importantly, did you bring the scissors?" 

"Ah, as expected, I couldn't. You have a history, so any potential weapons are strictly forbidden." 

The lady doctor's words are according to my expectations. Whether or not it was due to the daily rehab exercises, my body has recovered to the point where I can move easily by myself. They said that I am the first to have recovered so quickly with just a few minutes of exercise twice a day. 

As a celebration of sorts, I asked the lady doctor for a pair of scissors. 

"But what are you going to use a pair of scissors for? Planning to do some flower arrangements?" 

"As if. I just want to cut my hair." 

That's why. Now that I can move my body, my hair that reaches my back has become inconvenient. Hair that bounces around from my neck and flows down to my shoulders is pretty annoying. 

"Then you can call a hairdresser. If you find it difficult to talk, should I call one for you?" 

"No thanks. Another person touching my hair? I don't even want to think about it." 

"That's right. To a woman, her hair is her life. The fact that your hair has grown while you are the same as you were two years ago is a wonderful thing." 

I can hear the lady doctor standing up. 

"So, shall I give you this instead? It's a stone, carved with a rune; it should do the same thing as a charm. I'll put it over your doorway, so be careful not to lose it to anyone." 

It seems that the lady doctor used her chair to place the charm, or whatever it was, over the door. 

And just like that, she opens the door. 

"Then, that's it from me. Someone else might come starting tomorrow, so stay well." 

Talking in a strange roundabout manner, the lady doctor left. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

That night, the guest that always came to visit didn't appear. The smoke-like ghost that appears without failure at midnight - for some reason, it didn't enter the room. 

The smoke was coming every night and touching me. 

I knew that that was dangerous, but I just left it alone. If that ghost got angry at me and tried to kill me, that would be okay too. 

No, rather, how comfortable would it be if it had just killed me? 

For I, who cannot even feel that I'm alive, there is no reason to keep on living. Instead, it would be easier to just disappear. 

In the darkness, I try touching the bandages covering my eyes. 

My sight will soon come back. In that case, I will completely ruin my eyes this time around. 

I can't see it now, but if I fully recover it will be visible again. If I'm going to see '''that''' world again... I don't need anything like these eyes. Even if destroying my eyes means I will be unable to see the world on this side of that divide, it's still better than ''that''. 

But until that moment, I will be unable to act. 

The Shiki of before would have destroyed her eyes without any hesitation, but the current me is stopping at achieving a temporary darkness. 

<nowiki>--- </nowiki>It's so... pitiful. 

While I have no will to live, I don't even have any will to die. This emotionless self of mine doesn't feel any attraction towards any action. I can only affirm another's will. 

So if that unidentifiable smoke tries to kill me, I have no thoughts of stopping it. 

The thought of death holds no attractions for me but I don't feel like resisting it either. 

Because... Happiness or sadness, if they are things I could only obtain as Ryougi Shiki... 

Then the present me has no reason to live on.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_02|Previous Section]]
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| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Void_Shrine|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter04 02

2009-04-10T02:05:34Z

61.11.175.146: /* ／2 */

===／2===

It's now the next day. 

The fact that even I, who can't see, can tell the arrival of the morning is a small but satisfying discovery. Little things like that are a cause for joy. While I wondered why they made me happy, my morning check-up began and ended before I knew it. 

It wasn't very quiet in the afternoon, because my mother and older brother came to visit me. Our conversation wasn't very smooth. They felt like strangers to me. With no alternatives, I answered their questions according to Shiki's memories, as a result of which my mother went home with an easy mind. 

Everything was funny because, it seemed like I was acting. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

When evening came around, the counselor showed up. 

The woman who initially introduced herself as a speech therapist was so bright and cheerful that I couldn't see any depth to her personality. 

I've never heard of a case where a doctor greeted a patient with the words "Hi, how have you been?" 

"Oh, I thought you would be all emaciated, but the vibrancy of your skin is no joke. You know, when I first heard your story I pictured something along the lines of a ghost under a cherry tree, so I didn't really feel like coming. But hey, you are a cute young lady along my line of fancy, so it's my lucky day!" 

The woman who I reckon to be in her late twenties, judging by her voice, sits down in the chair next to the bed I'm lying in. 

"Pleased to meet you. I'm the speech therapist who is to help you get over your aphasia. I'm not a resident doctor here, so I don't have any ID, but I guess it won't be a problem since you can't see anyway." 

"--- Aphasia? Me?" 

"Oho."

The doctor goes, after finally getting a reply. I get the feeling she nodded her head as well. 

"There you go; it's normal to show anger. After all, aphasia isn't a very good image, and in your case it's a misdiagnosis. Ashika-kun is a textbook doctor, so he's a bit weak when it comes to special cases like yours. Even so, you are being naughty. People are getting such misconceptions because you can't be bothered to answer them." 

The woman smiles as if she is great friends with me. --- It was totally my own opinion, but I decided then and there that this was a person who wore glasses. 

"So they think I have aphasia." 

"Yeah, since you did hurt your brain in the accident they are wondering if your speech circuits are damaged or something. However, that's a misconception - the reason for your silence isn't physiological, but psychological, isn't it? So it's not aphasia, just you being stubborn. In that case my role isn't needed, but it feels bad to be cut off before a minute has passed, and since nothing's happening with my main job I'll play with you for a bit." 

--- This is a useless act of kindness. 

I reach out for the button to call the nurse, but the lady doctor quickly removes it from my reach. 

"... You." 

"Dangerous, dangerous. If you talk to Asika-kun now I'll be kicked out straight away. Anyway, isn't this good? If you pretend to have aphasia, you won't have to reply to useless questions. It's better this way, right?" 

... That's correct. But who is this person that can say such things so boldly? 

I turn my bandaged eyes towards the unknown lady doctor. 

"You are not a doctor, are you?" 

"Nope, I'm a magus as my main job." 

That's so absurd I let out a sigh. 

"I don't have any business with a magician." 

"Ahahaha, that's correct. A mage can't fix that hole in your chest. The only thing that can fill it is a normal person." 

"--- A hole, in my chest ---?" 

"Yeah, you should be feeling it. That you are alone now." 

The lady doctor smothers a laugh and stands up. I can hear her arranging the chairs and her footsteps as she goes out. 

"I think it's still too early, so let's leave it at this for now. I'll come again tomorrow, bye!" 

After appearing so abruptly, she leaves equally as suddenly. 

I touch my lips with the right hand that I have difficulty moving. 

Now... Alone... 

A hole... in my chest... 

--- Oh, how can this be? 

Oh no, I hadn't realized. 

No one. No matter where I call he's not there. The existence called Ryougi SHIKI that existed within Ryougi Shiki has disappeared without a trace. 

Shiki was a dual personality disorder sufferer who possessed another personality within herself. Inside the Ryougi family, children with two personalities were born genetically. That which would be shunned in a normal family was instead celebrated as inherent of a transcendent being, and the bearers were treated as the true heirs of the family. 

... Shiki inherited that blood. It was the reason Shiki surpassed her older brother to become the heir to the Ryougi family. 

But this kind of thing doesn't happen very often. 

Two personalities --- Yang affinity males and Yin affinity females. Between those the leadership of the Yang affinity male is usually stronger. Among the few true Ryougi heirs until now, all had been born as men and had female personalities inside. But due to some mistake, Shiki was the reverse of the norm. 

Inside the female Shiki, the male, SHIKI, was included. 

The one with dominance over the body was the female Shiki --- me. 

SHIKI was my ''minus'' face. He contained my suppressed emotions. Shiki grew up suppressing the darkness called SHIKI. Time after time, she killed the self called SHIKI and lived pretending to be normal. SHIKI didn't seem to have any complaints about that. After being asleep inside of me, he woke up for things like sword training and took charge while complaining as if it was annoying. 

... It might seem like a master/servant relationship, but the reality wasn't like that. In the end, Shiki and SHIKI are one person, so Shiki's actions are SHIKI's, and SHIKI suppressing his own fancies was also Shiki's wish as well. 

... Yes, SHIKI was a murderer. As far as I know he had no experience at it, but he had a desire within him to kill those beings called humans that were the same organism as him. The dominant personality of Shiki ignored this - in short, she forbade it. 

Shiki and SHIKI were inseparable beings, although they ignored each other. Shiki was lonely, but because of the self called SHIKI, she wasn't alone. 

But the time came when that relationship would be destroyed. 

Two years ago --- when Shiki was a first year high school student. The season when for the first time, SHIKI, who until then hadn't wanted to use the body, had asked to go out of his own volition. 

From there on, Shiki's memory is hazy. 

Right now I can't bring to mind any of Shiki's memories from the beginning of the first year of high school, until I was involved in the accident. 

The thing I remember --- my shape standing at the site of the murder. More than that, there's an image that I can remember even more clearly than that. 

The classroom burning red in the light of the sunset. 

The one who destroyed Shiki, my classmate. 

The boy, who Shiki wanted to kill. 

The piece of normality, that Shiki wanted to protect. 

I got the feeling that I knew this a long time ago. 

But, this me that has woken from a long sleep, his name is the one thing I can't yet remember. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Night falls, and the hospital grows quiet. 

Only the occasional sound of slippers echoing through the corridors makes me feel that I'm awake. 

Inside the darkness --- no, because I'm in the darkness. This blind me, I take to heart the fact that I'm alone. If I was the previous Shiki, I wouldn't have had this kind of feeling. Shiki, who had another self inside her. But SHIKI no longer exists. No --- I, I don't even know whether I'm Shiki or SHIKI. 

SHIKI had disappeared from inside me. With that alone, I recognize myself as Shiki. 

"Hic hic... What kind of contradiction is this? Not knowing which side one is if one side is missing." 

I try talking to myself, but the emptiness in my chest doesn't even fill a little. Even just the thought that I am sad would have some change on this emotionless mind of mine. 

I won't be able to know. 

Since I am no one, I can't feel that Ryougi Shiki's memories are really mine. Even if the shell called Ryougi Shiki exists, when the contents are washed away, the shell has no meaning. .... Oh, it hurts. What must go inside this empty cave? 

"--- I, will, go, in..." 

Suddenly I hear words like that. 

A movement of the air as if a door has opened. 

''It's probably my imagination'' 

I turn my closed eyes that way. 

There's --- something there. 

White smoke is billowing. My eyes that shouldn't be able to see can see the shape of the smoke. The smoke strangely resembled a human. No, it seemed as if a human lacked bones and was swaying in the wind like a sunflower. 

The unpleasant smoke comes straight at me. 

I can't move as I like yet, so I just blankly wait for it. 

Even if this is a ghost, I'm not afraid. 

The really scary things have no shape. No matter how weird something is, if it has form, I can't be scared. 

And --- if it is a ghost, the current me may as well be the same. After all, there's not much difference between a thing that isn't alive and me, who has no reason to live. 

The smoke slaps me. 

My whole body and mind go into overdrive. The chill that rakes down my spine is as sharp as a bird's talons. 

It was an unpleasant sensation, but I just dumbly sat there and watched. After touching me for an age, the smoke melts like a snail sprinkled with salt. 

The reason is simple. It's been five hours since the smoke started touching me. It will soon be five o'clock. The ghost melted because it's now morning. 

Since I haven't slept, I decide to go to sleep again.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_kyoukai:Chapter04_01|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_03|Next Section]]
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|}
</noinclude>

Kara no kyoukai:Chapter04 01

2009-04-10T01:49:16Z

61.11.175.146: /* ／1 */

===／1===

This place is dark, and the floor is pitch black. 

When I realized that the only thing around me was the darkness, I accepted the fact that I was dead. 

I'm floating in a sea with no light or sound. Naked, without anything to cover her, the human being called Ryougi Shiki is sinking into the depths. 

There's no light here. No, I suspect I never fell in the first place. 

Since there's nothing here. 

It's not just that there's no light, there isn't even any darkness. Since there is nothing here nothing is visible. There is no meaning to the concept of falling. 

Inside the 「　　」within which even form is meaningless, just my body keeps sinking. The naked me, I'm a poisonous shade which makes me want to turn my eyes away. Because everything 「here」 bears such a poisonous aura. 

"--- This is death." 

Even the sound of my muttering seems like a dream. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Then, I observe something like "time". Time has no meaning inside「　　」, but I become able to observe it. 

As naturally as flowing water, as grossly as putrefaction, I am just marking time. 

There is nothing here. 

Even if I keep continuously looking in the distance, I can't see anything. 

Even if I keep waiting continuously for something, I can't see anything. 

It's very nice and peaceful. 

No --- Since nothing has meaning, just 「being」here makes everything perfect. 

This is death. 

The world which only the dead can reach. The world which the living cannot see. 

But, I'm still alive ---. 

I thought I would lose my mind. 

For two years I sat there in the midst of the concept called "death". Rather then observation, it was closer to the struggle of battle. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

With the arrival of morning, the hospital slowly comes alive. The footsteps of the nurses traversing the corridors and the noise of the patients waking up and going about their own business is repeated many-fold. Compared to the silence during the night the bustle of the morning makes me feel like I'm at a festival. 

For the recently woken me, the riotous noise is too much. 

Thankfully, my ward is a private room. It's noisy outside, but at least inside this box it's calm and quiet. 

Not much later, a doctor comes to examine me. 

"How do you feel, Ryougi-san?" 

"--- Well, I'm not really sure." 

At my emotionless reply, the doctor shuts up as if he's perplexed. 

"... Really? At least you seem calmer than yesterday. It might be troubling for you, but I'll explain your current situation. If you don't like what I'm saying, don't hesitate to tell me." 

I replied to the doctor's words with silence. I don't have any interest in such obvious stories. 

I think he mistook that as a sign of acceptance. 

"In that case, I'll make it brief. Today is the fourteenth of June, 1998. You, Ryougi Shiki, were involved in a nighttime traffic accident on the fifth of March two years ago and were brought here to this hospital. The accident involved you being hit by a car while on a pedestrian crossing. Do you remember?" 

"..." 

I don't reply. --- I don't know that sort of thing. The last image I can take off that shelf called "memory" is that of my classmate standing dumbly in the rain. I can't remember anything like how I got into an accident. 

"Ah, it's alright if you can't remember. We think that just before you got hit by the car, you realized the danger and tried to evade it. Thanks to that, the injuries to your body weren't serious. 
In exchange, we suspect that you received a hard shock to your head. You were already in a coma by the time you arrived at our hospital, but luckily your brain itself wasn't injured. So, the reason you can't remember is probably the confusion brought about by being in a coma for two years. It should only be temporary, as during last night's examination we didn't find any abnormalities in your brainwaves. 
Your memories should slowly come back, but I can't guarantee that it will definitely happen. First and foremost, the very fact that you recovered from your comatose state is a miracle in itself." 

Even if he says it's been two years, it doesn't feel real to me. To the sleeping Ryougi Shiki, that blank space is close to nothingness. 

To the being called Ryougi Shiki, yesterday is definitely that rainy night two years ago. 

But that isn't how I feel at all. 

To the current me, yesterday is 「nothing」. 

"Oh, and the injury to your eyes isn't so serious either. Injuries caused by blunt weapons are among the least serious eye injuries you tend to see. It's a relief that there weren't any knives or similar objects in your proximity last night. We are going to take the bandages off soon as well. You'll have to leave looking at the scenery outside for another week or so." 

I get the feeling that there is a sense of reproach mixed somewhere into the doctor's words. 

He's probably nervous because of my attempt to destroy my own eyes. Last night he kept asking me why I did such a thing; I didn't give him an answer. 

"From now on we will be doing rehabilitation exercises in the mornings and afternoons. In regard to visits from your family, I'm afraid one hour will be the limit. You can leave as soon as you recover your body and mind's equilibrium. It will be hard, but please try your best." 

As I expected, his words ruin my mood. 

Tired of poking fun at the doctor, I try moving my right hand. ...My body doesn't feel like my own. Just moving takes time and my joints and muscles hurt as if they are being pulverized. 

Of course, it's only to be expected after not using them for two years. 

"Well, that's it for this morning. Since it seems that you've calmed down, I won't call a nurse. If you need anything, press that button near your pillow. There's always a nurse standing by in the room next door, so don't hesitate to use it, even for small things." 

Soft words. 

If I could see, I would be able to observe the doctor's instantaneous smile. 

The doctor gets up to leave, but stops at the door and adds something, as if he just remembered. 

"Oh yes. A counselor is going to come starting tomorrow. Since she's not much older than you, please talk freely with her. Right now, what you need most to aid your recovery is conversation. 

And so I was left alone. 

I lay back on the hospital bed, just lying there blankly with arms wrapped around the eyes I had closed myself. 

"My name ---". 

I said with dry lips. 

"Ryougi Shiki". 

But no such person exists here. 

Because the two years of nothingness killed me. 

I can remember clearly all the memories of growing up as Ryougi Shiki. But what does that matter? What are such memories to me, who died and came back to life? 

The two years of emptiness completely disconnect the me of the past and the me of the present. 

I'm definitely Ryougi Shiki, not someone else. But the memories of the past, I can't feel that they are mine. 

To the resurrected me, it's only as if I'm seeing a movie of the life of a person called Ryougi Shiki. I can't think of the movie's main character as being me. 

"It's as if I'm a ghost caught on film. 

I bite my lips. 

I don't know me. 

I'm not sure whether I really am Ryougi Shiki. 

I feel like a human who doesn't know their own identity. 

This shell of a body is empty; it feels like a cave. 

Even the air passes through, like the wind. 

I don't know the cause, but it really feels like a huge hole has been punched into my chest. 

It's so unsettling, --- indeed it's lonely. 

My heart is a misplaced puzzle piece. Inside that empty space, this feather-like me can't stand it. 

It's so empty that I can't even find a reason to keep living. 

"But --- so what if it is like that, Shiki?"

It's really not such a big deal. 

It's fascinating --- this unsettling feeling and nervousness that makes me grasp my chest, I don't feel that it's either agonizing or sad. 

There's anxiety. There's pain. 

But that's all something the child called Ryougi Shiki is holding onto. 

I'm just apathetic. Even that fact that I've come back to life after two years fails to move me. 

I'm just swaying with the wind and wandering here and there. 

Without being able to feel that I'm actually alive.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_A|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_02|Next Section]]
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|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Ceremony of Boundary-1

2009-04-10T01:45:34Z

61.11.175.146: /* /Kyoukai Shiki */

===/Kyoukai Shiki===

On the hospital bed which was no different from any ordinary day and would never be different, her weak body lay shivering uncontrollably. 

The door through which there is no chance of visitors coming in opens. 

Without a sound, but with a presence unmatchable by anyone else, that person came to visit. 

The visitor is a man, tall, with a wide build. His grim face was perpetually shadowed like that of a philosopher attempting to solve an eternally unsolvable fundamental question. 

Quite probably --- this person always looks like this. 

The man watches her with grim and sincere eyes. 

That feeling, of closure to the point of terror. A sense of restriction that makes you wonder if the room has somehow been put into a vacuum. It's to the point where even she who does not fear death but only the shortness of life begins to feel a wariness of death due to this person's presence. 

"Are you Fujoh Kirie?" 

As expected, there is an echo of agony somewhere in his heavy voice. 

Looking with her sightless eyes, Fujoh Kirie replies to the man. 

"Are you Dad's friend?" 

The man doesn't give an answer, but Fujoh Kirie was sure that this was the person who had paid the hospital fees for a family-less person like herself. 

"What did you come for? I can't do anything," Kirie says as she shakes. The man doesn't even bat an eyelash. 

"I've come to grant your wish. Another body that will be free. Don't you want it?" 

In those revoltingly unrealistic words was a hint of magic, or at least it felt so to Fujoh Kirie, because she accepted that if it was this man he could carry out that which he had promised without any resistance to the idea. 

After a brief contemplation of the offer, she nods her shaking neck. 

The man nods. His right hand rises. 

Kirie's long-cherished dream. 

And a nightmare that will never end. In one wave of his hand, he grants her both. 

But before that --- she asks him one question. 

"Who, are you?" 

The man replies as if the question was inconsequential. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Freed from the ruined basement bar, she set off on her way home with feeble steps. 

The rhythm of her breathing is strange and she is dizzy. She can't walk properly without supporting herself on something. 

The cause is probably the scary thing that had happened to her earlier. For whatever reason, one of the five youths who had been getting ready to humiliate her as usual had struck her back with a baseball bat. 

It hadn't hurt - no, she had never known pain in the first place. It was just... heavy. The chill radiating out from her back contorted her face into a frown, and the knowledge that she had been hit in the back crumpled her mind. Still, she hadn't shed any tears and had meant to return to the student dorms after enduring the time of humiliation.

But today that road seemed to stretch forever. 

On top of that, her body isn't listening to her. 

The reflection in a shop window she happened to look into showed her a deathly pale face. She doesn't feel the pain, so she doesn't realise what injuries she's received or what that means. She's been struck in the back, but all she knows is that she has been hit; she has no idea that her backbone has been broken by the blow. 

She is clueless, but right now she can at least tell that her body is suffering. 

She can't go to the hospital. The neighborhood clinic she goes to without her parents' knowledge is too far from here, and even if she calls them, she will be asked how she was hurt. She can't lie very well, so she isn't confident that she would be able to explain away any of the doctor's questions. 

"--- what should I do? What should I do --- ?" 

Gasping for breath, she falls to the ground. 

A huge man's arm stops her fall. 

Surprised, she lifts her face. There is a serious-seeming man there. 

"Are you Asagami Fujino?" 

The man's voice does not allow for any denials. Just then, for the last time in her life, she --- Asagami Fujino --- felt a wariness that froze her whole body. 

"There's a crack in your vertebra. You can't go home like this." 

With a magic-like freshness, the statement that she can't go home grips her mind. 

That, she doesn't want that to happen. Her home --- she doesn't want to be unable to go back to the dorm. Because right now, that is the only place Asagami Fujino can rest. 

With pleading eyes, Fujino looks up at the man. Although it's summer, he wears a coat-like cloak. His cloak and the clothes he is wearing beneath it are all black. The flapping cloak and the man's piercing eyes, for some reason --- brought to mind a monk from a temple. 

"Do you want to be healed?" 

A voice with a hypnotic strength can be heard. 

Fujino does not even feel that she is nodding. 

"I see. I'll fix your body's fault." 

Without any change of expression, the man puts his right hand against Fujino's back. 

But before that --- she asks him just one thing. 

"Who, are you ... ?" 

He replies as if the question was inconsequential. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

But before that --- he asked just one thing. 

"You, who are you?" 

The man in the black coat replies without even blinking. 

"Magus --- Araya Souren." 

Like a god's proclamation, his words rang out heavily across the back alley. 

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter-final|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_00|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter04 A

2009-04-10T01:34:07Z

61.11.175.146: /* ／0 */

===／0===

"Hey, about that patient in the third floor private room, have you heard?" 

"Of course. That story was all over the place by the middle of yesterday. Even that stony Dr. Ashika in neurology lost his cool, didn't he? There's no way a secret like that wouldn't leak out. I couldn't believe it but, they say the patient's recovered." 

"No, no, it's not that. Well, it is definitely about that patient, but there's something besides that. That patient, you know what she did as soon as she woke up? Don't be shocked, but they say she tried to crush her own eyes." 

"--- What are you talking about? Is that for real?" 

"Yeah, I think it's being kept secret inside the facility. I heard it from a kid who always follows Dr Ashika around, so it's definitely true. Apparently, as soon as Dr Ashika took his eyes off her, she smashed her eyes through the bandages with the palms of her hands. She's a total terror." 

"Wait a second. That patient, she's just been lying there for two years, hasn't she? Then there's no way she could move her body." 

"Well, yeah, normally. That family is rich, aren't they? While she's been here, we've exercised her limbs everyday, so her joints and stuff haven't stiffened up. But I guess that since it wasn't the subject herself doing the exercise, the movement of the joints was unnatural to her and she couldn't move very well. Thanks to that, her attempt to savage her two eyes ended in failure." 

"--- Even so, that's awesome. We learned that while a supine patient is more comfortable, it's much easier for their bodies to get weak. If she's been sleeping for two years, she should barely have been functioning as a human." 

"That's why even the doctor was caught off guard. Hey, what do you call that? You know, when a patient's sclera is bleeding?" 

"Subconjunctival hemorrhaging." 

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's supposed to become alright by itself, but since the patient smashed her eyes right to the point of glaucoma she can't even see through her eyes right now. They say that they just bandaged her eyes according to the patient's wishes." 

"Hmm. So even after waking up from the coma that patient hasn't seen the sunlight. ... darkness within darkness. It seems a bit wrong." 

"A bit? And on top of that, there's another problem. Aphasia... loss of speech?  It feels like that. She can't talk, so the doctor's bringing in a speech therapist. There's no one like that at our hospital." 

"Yeah, since Dr. Araya quit last month. 
But --- if she's like that, will they disallow visitors for that patient?" 

"Probably. Until she's recovered her psychological balance, even her time with her parents will be limited." 

"So that's how it is. In that case, I feel kinda sorry for that boy." 

"Who? What boy?" 

"Don't you know? After that patient was brought here, there's this kid who came to visit every Saturday. I guess he's too old to call a kid anymore, but, if possible, I want to let him meet her." 

"Ah, you mean Polite-Puppy-kun. Lord, he's still coming. 
I doubt there are many people as earnest as that in the world these days." 

"Yeah, for the last two years that kid's been the only one who watched over the patient. So --- I'm thinking that maybe the major part in the patient's miraculous recovery is due to him. ... Wow, I'm saying this sort of thing after working here for how many years? I'm beginning to think that maybe something's happened to me."

<noinclude>
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|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_00|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_kyoukai:Chapter04_01|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 12

2009-04-09T05:30:30Z

61.11.175.146: /* 6 */

<noinclude>===Remaining Sense of Pain／===</noinclude>
====6====

Broad Bridge is distorted like it has been squeezed by a giant hand. After coming here in the storm in Touko-san's buggy and arguing with the guard, Shiki shows up from under the bridge with a blood-soaked arm. The guard runs up to Shiki, but she tackles him and knocks him unconscious.

"Yo. For some reason, I thought you would be here."

Shiki says this with a pale face. There were many things I wanted to say but, they all disappear when I see how weak she is. I run to help her, but Shiki refuses and does not even let me support her.

"So you managed with just one arm, huh, Shiki?"

Touko-san seems surprised. Shiki glares in discontent.

"Touko, she came up with clairvoyance in the end. She'll have a ridiculous amount of power if you leave her be."

"Clairvoyance, huh? Certainly, if you add that to her power, she'll be invincible. She would be able to make a fulcrum even if you are hiding... Huh? If you leave her be...?"

"She returned to pain insensitivity at the very end. That's cheating. Asagami Fujino in that state can't be my target. I couldn't do anything else so I just killed the disease in her stomach. She might make it if you hurry."

Shiki did not kill Asagami Fujino. Understanding that, I quickly call the hospital. I'm not sure if they would be willing to come in this storm, but if they won't, I'll just take her myself. Fortunately, her doctor agrees to come. He was worried when Fujino disappeared, and it seemed he was crying over the phone. There may not be many, but Fujino still has people on her side. I am moved. Behind me, those two are having a dangerous conversation.

"Did you stop the bleeding on that arm? It doesn't seem to be, at least."

"Yeah, I killed it 'cause it was useless. You can make an arm, right? You're a puppet master after all."

"All right. That will be your pay for this job. I always thought that your body was too normal in contrast to you eyes. I can make that left arm able to grab spirits and such."

... I don't want them talking about such things.

"An ambulance is going to come here. It'll be lots of trouble to stay here, so do you want to get away?"

Touko-san nods, but Shiki is silent. ...She probably wants to make sure that Asagami Fujino does get taken away safely.

"Since I contacted them, I'll stay here. I'll tell you what happened, so you can go back."

"In this strong rain? You sure are strange. All right, let's go back, Shiki."

Shiki refuses Touko-san's offer. Touko-san smiles somewhat meanly and gets in her off-road buggy, which seems totally illegal.

"Shiki. Don't kill Kokutou just because you couldn't kill Asagami Fujino."

Touko-san says so seriously and drives off. In the summer rain, Shiki and I end up seeking shelter in the nearby warehouse.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The ambulance comes in no time and carries off Asagami Fujino. In this storm, I cannot see her face. I cannot make sure that she's the girl from that one night, but I think that's for the best. Shiki blankly stares into the night, wet from the rain. She was glaring at Fujino all this time. I inquire as to her feelings amid the sound of rain.

"Shiki, you still can't forgive Asagami Fujino?"

"...... I don't care about the one I already killed."

Shiki declares so. There's no hate or anything there. For Shiki, Fujino must be someone she does not know anymore. ... It's sad but that might be the best for these two. Shiki casts a glance at me.

"How about you? You say murder is wrong no matter what the reason is."

She seems like she's asking herself the question.

"... Yeah, but I sympathize with her. To be honest, I could care less about Fujino killing the guys who violated her."

"That's unexpected. I was hoping for your popular opinion."

... Do you want to be blamed, Shiki? You didn't kill anyone. I close my eyes and listen to the rain.

"Really? But that is my opinion. Because, Shiki, even though she lost herself, Asagami Fujino is a normal girl. She will take in what she's done without changing the facts to suit her. Even if she does give herself up to the police, no one can prove what she's done and she won't be socially responsible for her sins. That's what makes it more difficult."

"Why?"

"...... I think sins are things people willingly burden themselves with. A burden that one casts on themselves according to their views, that is what a sin is. The more compassion you have, the heavier a burden your sin becomes. The more common sense you have, the heavier a burden your sin becomes. Asagami Fujino's sins become heavier and more painful as she gets happier."

Shiki tells me I'm too good-natured.

"Then does that mean those without compassion have no sense of what sin is?"

"I don't think anyone exists without a sense of sin. It just means that their sins are lighter to bear, but they are still there. A small sin within their small scope of compassion. For us it might seem trivial, like tripping on a road; but for that person, it becomes a burden. Even the small pain for us becomes an unpleasant feeling for those with small compassion. No matter the weight, the meaning of a sin is the same."

... Yes. For example, Minato Keita was probably frightened to the point of insanity because of the realization of his sins. He cannot atone for his regret, sense of guilt, fear, or impatience; but all he can do is ''try'' to atone for them.

"Certainly, it must be easier to not be responsible for your sins socially. But if no one punishes you for your sins, you have to carry them yourself. A guilty conscience is not something that goes away, right? You have memories of it. Since no one forgave you for it, you cannot forgive it yourself. The wound in your heart never heals and will continue to hurt. Like her sense of pain remaining, the wound would never heal. As you say, a soul does not have a physical form...... so I don't think a wound on it can be treated.

Shiki is listening silently. Maybe because I looked up Fujino's past, I'm unusually poetic. Shiki suddenly leaves the cover of the warehouse and goes out into the rain.

"So you're saying this. The more common sense you have, the more sense of sin you have. That's why there's no bad people in this world. But I have no such thing. Could you let such a person run unbounded??"

Now that she says so, that is indeed true. Before you can call Shiki good or bad, she has a small concept of common sense.

"I see. Then I guess it can't be helped. I'll have to burden all your sins then."

Those are my true feelings. They seem to have caught Shiki off guard, as she stands there dumbfounded. After being struck by the rain for a while, Shiki murmurs uncomfortably.

"... I finally remember... You say those kinds of jokes with a straight face."

To be honest, Shiki found it hard to deal with such things.

"...... *Sigh* I see. I do think I can at least carry one girl on me, you know."

I argue timidly, and Shiki laughs.

"I'll confess one more thing, I think I've borne another sin with this thing today. But I found out something in return. What my life is, and what I want. It's vague and fragile, but I will have to follow it for now. It turns out that what I'm following isn't as ugly as I thought it was. I'm a bit happy. A bit... A killing impulse that is slightly leaning towards your view..."

... I can only frown at her last sentence, but Shiki is beautiful as she smiles against the rain. The storm should go away by morning.

I keep staring at Shiki, surrounded by the summer rain. Come to think of it, the is the first true smile she's ever shown me since she recovered from the coma...

Remaining Sense of Pain
Fin

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
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</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 11

2009-04-09T05:28:54Z

61.11.175.146: /* 5 */

<noinclude>===Remaining Sense of Pain／===</noinclude>
====5====

As the storm is hitting town, I return to the office. I enter, wet with rain, and Touko-san greets me by dropping her cigarette.

"You're fast. It's only been a day."

"I heard a storm was coming so I came back before public transport stopped."

Touko-san nods while making a difficult face. I wonder if something is wrong... No, right now......

"Touko-san, about Asagami Fujino. She was not born with her pain insensitivity. She was normal until she was six years old."

"What? That can't be true. Look, even though she has pain insensitivity, it's not affecting her physical activities. If you say the pain insensitivity came after she was born, a hollow spine would be the cause; but that causes problems with physical activities. A rare case where she only lacks the sense of pain can only mean that she was born without it."

"Yes, that's what her personal doctor said too."

I want to tell her what happened in Nagano from the beginning but there's no time. I tell her about the Asagami family... no, the AsaGAMI family in a short summary.

"The AsaGAMI family was a respected family, but it went bankrupt when Fujino was around twelve years old. Fujino and her mother went to what is now the Asagami family. It seems the Asagami family is branched off from the AsaGAMI family, and they took care of the borrowed money out of greed for their land. Fujino had her sense of pain when she was small; but with it, she also had a strange power. They say she could bend things without touching them."

"... And?"

"She was hated as the devil. She received oppression too. But from the time Fujino turned six, the power had disappeared, along with her sense of pain."

"........."

Touko-san's expression changes. I can tell she's getting excited from her smile.

"After that she got a personal doctor, but there is no record of that at the AsaGAMI house. That place is empty now."

"That's all? You didn't investigate further!?"

"Of course I did. I found the personal doctor and talked to him."

"...... You're a smart worker, Kokutou."

"Yes, I followed the records and went to Akita. He is an underground doctor without a license, so it took me a whole day to get the story out of him."

"... I'm amazed. If you get fired from here you should become a detective. I'd even hire you as my personal detective."

I reply that I'll think about it, and continue on with my story.

"It seems this doctor only provided medicine. He said he doesn't know why Fujino became pain insensitive. He said that it was her father's doing alone."

"Her father did it himself? Do you mean curing her, or giving her the medicine?"

I nod to the small difference between the two.

"Giving her the medicine of course. According to the doctor, Fujino's father had no intention of curing Fujino's pain insensitivity. Most of the medicine that the doctor provided was Aspirin and Indometacin, steroids. According to the examination by the doctor, he says Fujino probably has Neuromyelitis Optica."

"Neuromyelitis optica...... Devic's disease, huh?"

Devic's disease. It is a type of myelitis and is a disease that causes numbness of the senses. Common symptoms are numbness in the lower legs and eyesight going bad. It even has the danger of making one blind. This disease requires early treatment with steroids. The steroids are what Touko-san mentioned before... what they call adrenocorticosteroid.

"In addition, they use Indometacin which numbs the sense of pain. I see. That would indeed make her like that. She's not inherent or posteriori. Asagami Fujino lost her senses artificially. It's the exact opposite of Shiki!"

Touko-san starts to laugh. It's a bit scary, she is like the professor I saw yesterday.

"Touko-san, what is this Indometacin?"

"It's a painkiller. It doesn't matter if it's peripheral or referred pain, pain occurs from reactions to "outside forces that might endanger life". An algesic substance is made inside your body which stimulates the nerves relating to pain. This triggers pain to your brain. It tells the brain that the body will die if it doesn't do something. You know what algesic substances are, right? There are things such as Kinin and Amin, as well as Arachidonic Acid metabolites which strengthen the two. Such things as Aspirin and Indometacin control the Prostaglandin which is in this Arachidon. The pain from Kinin and Amin isn't much, so taking in a lot of Indometacin would take away most of the pain."

Touko-san seems really happy, as she is relatively hyper.

To be honest, these Arachidon and Kinindon things seems like names of monsters to me.

"So it's a medicine to erase pain?"

"Not directly. If you want to erase the pain, a drug called opioid would do much better. There's the endorphin thing, right? It's that thing that the brain secretes to ease the pain. It works like that and opioid kills the pain in the central nervous system. ...... Well, I guess all this has nothing to do with the subject. I see. Asagami Fujino's father decided to seal her power by sealing her senses. A family totally opposite of that of Ryougi, which tries so hard to make ones with power. But what's sad is that her power became stronger by doing that. Magi from in and around Egypt stitch their eyes shut to keep their Mana within them. What's the difference between them and Asagami Fujino?"

... I was prepared for Touko-san's words, but I'm still shocked. I knew already that the Asagami family has children with special powers, like those of Asagami Fujino... ones born with different channels. They despised those children and tried to seal their power by any means possible. The result of that is... pain insensitivity. To turn off the channel for "special powers", they also closed the function of senses. That is why Asagami Fujino operates her power when her pain returns... because her sealed senses return.

"That's terrible. The only way for her to stay normal is to be abnormal."

That's right. Asagami Fujino could be in our world only by being abnormal in the form of pain insensitivity. But as long as she cannot feel anything, she cannot earn anything. She is only a ghost allowed to live in our world.

"If she did not feel pain, she would have not killed anyone."

"Hey now, don't treat pain like it's a bad thing. Pain is a good thing. The bad thing is the wound, you shouldn't get this wrong. We need pain, no matter how much it hurts. People can recognize danger because they have pain. Do we move away from fire simply because it sets our hands on fire? No. It is because your hand is burning, and it hurts. If that's not the case, we would't know the danger of fire until our hand burnt off. It is right for pain to be painful, Kokutou. Anything that doesn't have that cannot understand other people's pain. Asagami Fujino was hit in the back and got her sense of pain back temporarily. She defended herself for the first time from the pain she received after that. Those people that she didn't notice as dangerous before, she was able to recognize as dangerous because of pain. ... Still, killing them was too much."

... But Fujino does not feel pain. Those people died because of her defending herself, but they are partly responsible as they attacked her. You cannot make her bear all the responsibility.

"Touko-san, can she be cured?"

"There is no wound that cannot be cured. A wound that cannot be cured should be called "death"."

Touko-san indirectly calls Asagami Fujino's wound death. But the cause of these incidents are the stab wound in her stomach. If that pain comes back, if the cause of that pain is known......

"Kokutou, her wound cannot be cured. It will only continue to hurt."

"Huh?"

"She had no wound to begin with, Kokutou."

......Touko-san says something unexpected.

"Um... what do you mean by that?"

"Think about it. If you got stabbed in the stomach, would the wound heal by itself in a day or two?"

... That... is true but...

I get confused at the point Touko-san is making. It goes against all assumptions. Touko-san tries to hold back her laughter.

"Like you investigating Asagami Fujino's past, I also investigated Asagami Fujino's present. Fujino has not gone to any hospitals since the 20th. She did not even go to the personal doctor that she sees secretly."

"Personal... what!?"

Touko-san frowns in amazement.

"... You're good at searching for things but lack in insight. Look, the scariest thing for a pain insensitive person is something wrong with their body. Since they do not have pain, they cannot know of any sicknesses they might have. As a result, they have a doctor look at them from time to time."

I see. She is completely right. Then... do Asagami Fujino's current parents not know of her pain insensitivity?

"The trigger was a trivial misunderstanding, Kokutou. Fujino was taken down by a guy with a knife and thought she was going to get stabbed. No, I bet she did almost get stabbed. Since her sense of pain returned at that time, she could use her power too. Cut or twist... Fujino happened to be first. As a result, the guy's neck was twisted off and his blood spilled onto Fujino's body. Fujino must have thought that she had been stabbed in the stomach."

I can clearly imagine the scene... I shake my head.

"But that's strange. If her sense of pain is back, she wouldn't make that kind of a mistake. She would not feel pain if she was not stabbed."

"Fujino was in pain from the start."

......... Huh?

"I was shown her status by her doctor. She has chronic Cecitis... what people mistakenly call Appendicitis. Well, I guess that is why she went to the doctor. The pain in the stomach is not the pain from the knife, but rather an internal pain. Her pain ached from time to time. If her sense of pain returned right before being stabbed, she would surely think that she was stabbed. If you are raised not knowing pain, you wouldn't even make sure if the wound is there or not. Fujino would look at the stabbed stomach, and even if it didn't have a wound, she would think that the wound must have healed."

"So... it's a misunderstanding?"

I say so weakly.

"The wound itself is. But the truth does not change. She was indeed on the edge. It doesn't matter if the knife was there or not. Her only way out was to kill them. If she did not kill, she would have been killed. Not her body but her mind. But unfortunately, Minato Keita got away. I don't think it would have turned out this bad if her revenge was completed then.. It's just like Shiki said. It's too late."

Come to think of it, Shiki did repeat that. Why would it be too late? Is it because Fujino has committed murder? But then, that would be when she killed those four guys. I don't understand.

"Why is it too late?"

"Shiki must mean the mental part. Her murder is murder for up to five people. A murder other than those is not murder, but a massacre. It is not justified. That is what Shiki was angry about. ... Shiki has a taste for murder but she still understands unconsciously how important death is. That is why she does not kill indiscriminately like Asagami Fujino. Shiki, cannot forgive Fujino for just doing as she wishes."

Is Asagami Fujino really doing as she wishes? To me, it seems like she is running away desperately. Touko-san continues.

"But what I mean by too late is the physical part. Cecitis perforate when left alone and become Retinitis. Inflammation of retina comes with pain incomparable to that of the vermiform appendix. You could say it matches the pain of being stabbed with a knife. Then, one would start getting fevers and cyanosis. They may even go into shock from lowered blood pressure. If it reaches the duodenum, you could die in half a day. It's been five days since the 20th. It should already have perforated. It's a shame, but it's fatal for her already."

How can this person say that with such a cool face?

"It's not too late yet. We have to find her quickly...!"

"Kokutou, our client for this is Asagami Fujino's father. He must have known about Fujino's power. That is why he heard about the incident and thought it must be Fujino's doing. The father said to "kill that monster". The only one that can protect her is wishing for her death. See, Kokutou, she has no salvation in any sense. And besides, Shiki already left."

"...... You idiot...!!"

I scream at no one.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_10|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_12|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 06

2009-04-09T05:26:00Z

61.11.175.146: /* /3 */

===/3===

After parting with Azaka, I return to my place. When night comes, I go out into town. There have been five people killed so far. Four of them were in that basement bar two days ago. According to Touko, another was at a construction site yesterday night. Aside from the four killed two days ago, I do not see any relation to the one killed last night; but I cannot say it is a total stranger. Mikiya once said that ones that hang around at night have many connections. Maybe there is a high probability that the four, and the one killed last night are connected.

"That girl..."

I suddenly recall the girl that was with Azaka. ...... That aura of death creeping from out of her like capillaries. Since I am not used to my eyes yet, I saw it without any prior preparation. ... That was abnormal. It might be more abnormal than me. But that girl was normal. She smelled of blood, and she had eyes like me that seemed as if she did not know which boundary she was standing on. She must be my prey for sure, but I still cannot be confident in myself. That girl has no cause. She has no reason to kill for pleasure like I do, no darkness that takes pleasure in murder.

Take pleasure in murder... What would Kokutou Mikiya think if he were to hear that? Would he scold me, telling me that murder is bad?

"Idiot."

I do not really know if that word is directed at him or me. Kokutou Mikiya said I have not changed from before. I guess I am no different than I was before I went into that coma. Then, did I always take walks at night? ... Was I always this abnormal person, searching for someone to kill? 

".........."

No, that's wrong. Shiki did not have such a taste. She did, but it was not prioritized. Then this is SHIKI's sensibility. That of the man, Ryougi SHIKI - the yin; inside the woman, Ryougi Shiki - the yang. I dwell on my conclusion. I used to have him inside of me, but he is not anymore. Not being there must mean that he is dead. Then......... this desire to kill can only be mine. As Touko said, this job is just for me; because I am certainly happy about being able to kill someone.

...... It's almost midnight.
I take the train and arrive at a station I rarely visit.
From this always-wakeful, noisy town,
I can see a big port in the distance.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

After I part with Azaka, I change my destination. I do not know where the last one would run to, but I think there is a way to search for him. The only ones directly involved with me were the four that I killed and the one that escaped, but I was taken to many places by them. If I go there and ask where the last one went, I should be able to find where he escaped to. Since they cannot trust the police or the school, the only ones they can depend on should be their kind. I hold my burning stomach as I walk through the night town. I had some hesitations about going into indecent places, but they are now trivial to me as I am tormented by the pain and my memories of being violated.

At the third place I visit, I meet a guy that says he is a friend of Minato Keita. He is working at at a big building converted into a karaoke club, and gives me an unpleasant smile as he agrees to talk with me for a while. He sneaks out of his work and starts to walk, telling me we should go to a quiet place to talk. ... From the long experience I had, I can tell this man is taking me to their hangout place. These people can sniff out the weak. This person with the good, false smile must have seen through me as an easy victim to violate. ... He probably knows I was violated by Minato Keita's group too. That is why he takes me without any concern. Even though I know that, I still did not refuse to follow him. This man that is a few years older than me heads to a quieter area. I hold my stomach as it starts to hurt even more, and I prepare myself.

...... The time is almost midnight.
I walk with this man as I curse the repeated violations in my head.
From this always-wakeful, noisy town,
I can see a big port in the distance.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The man can feel his good fortune. He knows from the boasting Keita that Keita's group was playing around with this girl from an all-girls school. It was Keita's habit to do as he wanted to that girl and then brag about it; but this man has nothing to do with it. He does not have any strong connections with Keita's group, and they are from different areas. That's why he always listened to Keita's story without concern. But for that girl to actually come to him!!

You have to take what is given to you. The man decides to get out of work and take Fujino somewhere. ... It's not that the man is hungry for sex. It's not an unusual event for people like him to rape a girl with four or five other guys. There is a reason why this man does not call for his friends. It is because Fujino is the daughter of the Asagami Construction. He should be able to get lots of money if he violates her and threatens that he will make the matter public. The group Keita is in is rather stupid when it comes to such matters. Maybe because their leader is not that smart. Or is it that they did not need money because they were smart? Well, it does not matter. Either way, the man is happy right now. He does not contact his friends because he thinks that he will get the largest payout if he does not share it.

Asagami Fujino, the girl who came to ask about Minato Keita, is following him silently. It would be bad to take her to the usual hangout place. The man heads to the warehouse area of the port. Since it's almost midnight, the warehouse area is empty. As all warehouses are made the same way and arranged the same way, it seems like a giant factory. There aren't many streetlights and nobody should come if he were to go in between the warehouses. The only things that will be irritating will be the sound of waves, and the lights from Broad Bridge currently under construction on the other side of the water. Bringing Fujino into this darkness, the man finally opens his mouth.

"This should be fine. So, what did you want to ask about?"

The man decides to answer her question first. It is his intuition that it's not smart to attack from the start.

"Yes, would you happen to know where Keita-san is?"

Fujino is looking down while holding her stomach. Her cleanly-cut hair hangs down in front of her, and the man cannot see her face.

"I haven't seen him lately. He doesn't even have his own place so he's been going around people's places. You won't be able to contact him either, 'cause he doesn't have a cell phone."

"No...... I can contact him."

"Huh?"

This girl's words are strange. She can contact him but doesn't know where he is? Has this girl gone crazy from being raped so much? Well, if that's the case, it should make things easier, but it's also true that the man is let down somewhat. He calms down again.

"All right. If you can contact him, then just ask where he is."

"Well..... Keita-san does not want to tell me where he is hiding. That is why I am going around asking his friends. Please answer me... I do not care if you know or do not know."

"Whoa, wait a sec. What do you mean he's hiding? Did he get into some deep shit?"

The man gets irritated by the girls strange words. He's hiding... does that mean that the cops know about them raping Fujino? No, if that's the case, she wouldn't come herself. The man thinks, but cannot come up with an answer, because...
... Because he has not seen the news.

"Well, who cares. But what do you mean you don't care if I know or not? Was that your intention to begin with? Keita's not your intention, but you came to find a new man or something?!"

The man laughs from his heart this time - "I really am in luck, I should be able to get the money without even making any threats." And besides, Asagami Fujino is a beautiful girl that he would not be able to easily obtain otherwise. A prize of money and beauty. What else can you call this but luck?

"Sorry, I should have taken you to my place from the start, then. Or do like this kinda place better, perhaps?"

The girl in the black uniform nods.

"But before that, please tell me if you know where Keita-san is."

"Hey, dumbass, you can quit your excuse for coming here. First of all, I wouldn't know where he would go."

The girl looks up with a satisfied expression. The eyes looking at the man are abnormal. There is no emotion in those amber eyes that glow, and spiral.

...... It is not normal....

"......?"

The man, oblivious to those eyes, encounters something strange. His arm is moving on its own! His joint bends. His elbow stretches to about 90 degrees, and keeps bending...
... And finally, breaks.

"W-what......!?"

A stupid scream. The fate of the man ends here. Certainly, he did have luck. Bad luck is luck indeed.

In a dark alley not even lit up by the moonlight, a tragedy raises its curtains.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

".........!!"

The scream only becomes a beast-like groan. The man's arms are no longer recognizable as arms. A puzzle ring... or a rubber band twisted around to make a model airplane fly. ... Either way, they can not function as human arms anymore.

"H-h-help...!"

The man runs away from the girl, who is just standing in front of him. In that instant, his body is lifted off the ground and his right leg is torn away at the knee. Blood splashes as if emptying a full bucket. The blood that sprays along the wall seems like some sort of painting. Asagami Fujino keeps watching with her emotionless eyes.

"I-i-it's twi... twist-t-t-t-t-ed...!!!"

His words are incomprehensible. Fujino decides to ignore them.

...... She murmurs, "Bend."

That is the same word she has been saying all this time. Her friend has told her that a repeated word can become a curse. The man is on the ground, only moving his neck. Both his hands are twisted and his right leg is gone. The blood from his leg is soaking the ground. Fujino steps into it. A red carpet. Her shoes sink into the red liquid. The summer night is hot and the humid air sticks to her skin and becomes annoying. The blood in the air had a similar feeling.

"........ *Sigh*"

As she looks down at the man squirming like a green caterpillar, Fujino sighs. She hates herself for doing such a thing; but she also thinks this is what she intended to do from the start. She knew from the way he acted that this man did not know what happened in that basement bar. But he will find out in time. Then, he will grow suspicious of Fujino for searching Keita. So this is something that cannot be helped. This man intended to do that from the start. It will be indirect, but this is part of Asagami Fujino's revenge. A revenge to those who violated her.

But that her ability to violate far surpasses their ability to violate.

"I am sorry.... but I have to do this."

The man's remaining left leg is ripped away, causing the last of the life remaining in him to be cut off as well. Fujino looks down at the convulsing body. Right now she knows how the man feels. Until now, she did not know. She could not understand people's reaction to pain. But now that she knows pain, she can strongly sympathize with this man. That makes her happy. To be alive means to be hurt.

"And finally... I can be normal."

My pain, others' pain. I am the one who made him this way. I am the one that gave him these wounds. It means Asagami Fujino is superior. This is what it means to be alive, having this ugly self that cannot feel the pleasure of life unless committing such atrocities.

"..... Mother. Am I so ugly that I have to go this far?"

The thing in her stomach becomes unbearable. Her heart starts to beat rapidly. A chill runs up her spine...

"I do not want to kill people..."

"You're wrong."

Fujino turns around to the sudden voice. At the entrance of the alley between the warehouses, a girl in a kimono stands, with the port reflecting the quiet moonlight behind her...

... Ryougi Shiki is there...

"Shiki......... san?"

"Asagami Fujino... I see, you must have connection with the Asagami God."

With a light footstep, Shiki takes a step forward. Shiki narrows her eyes at the smell of blood. Not in detest, but in happiness.

"Since when...."

Fujino stops her question. The answer is obvious.

"All this time. I followed you since you brought that piece of meat out here."

Fujino feels a chill at her cold voice. Shiki has seen it all. She saw it, but she still came out. She saw it, but did not stop it. She knew this was going to happen, but just watched...

...... This person is abnormal......

"Please do not say "piece of meat". This is a person. This is a human corpse."

Fujino argues so in spite of what she is thinking about. She feels that Shiki is saying too much to call that man a piece of meat. Shiki nods.

"Yeah, a human is still a human even when it's dead. It doesn't become a piece of meat just by dying. But that's not a human death, is it? Humans don't die that way."

Shiki takes another step forward.

"A human who did not end his life like a human is not human anymore. Even if the people you've killed are left with their head intact or their body unwounded, you can't think of it as being normal. Those removed from the boundary are deprived of all their meaning. That's why that thing is just a piece of meat."

Suddenly, Fujino feels a repulsion towards this person. Shiki is saying that she and the corpse are out of the ordinary, just like Ryougi Shiki, who is watching this tragedy right now without a change of expression.

"...... No. I am sane. I am not like you!'

Fujino screams out for no reason. Shiki laughs, like it is truly funny.

"We are alike, Asagami."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Fujino stares at Shiki. The vision in her eyes starts to distort. ... The "power" she had as a child comes into effect.

But the power suddenly fades away.

".........!?"

But the surprise is for both Shiki and Fujino. Asagami Fujino is surprised at her disappeared power. Ryougi Shiki is surprised at the suddenly-changed Asagami Fujino.

"Again...? What the hell is up with you?"

Shiki gets angry. She scratches her head like everything is ruined.

"I would have killed you if you stayed that way. You were like that too at the cafe. ... Fine. You let me down. I don't care about you now."

Saying that, Shiki turns and walks away. The sound of her footsteps gets farther away.

"Go home. If you do so, we shouldn't see each other again."

Then her figure disappears. Fujino stands still in the pool of blood.

...... I'm back to my previous self. I feel nothing again.

Fujino looks down at the man once more. There is no remnant of the feeling that was in her before. Only the sense of guilt enters her brain. What remains left are the words Shiki left. Those words saying that Fujino and Shiki are both alike, both killers.

"No....... I am not like you."

Fujino murmurs as if crying. Truthfully, Fujino hates murder. She starts to tremble at the thought that she would have to continue such an act in order to find Minato Keita. Because killing people would be unforgivable. Those are her true emotions.

... The pool of blood reflecting her face shows her mouth forming a smile...

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_05|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_07|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 05

2009-04-09T05:25:14Z

61.11.175.146: /* /2 */

===/2===

The phone starts to sound. It stops after five rings
and switches to the answering machine. After a beeping noise, I hear a familiar voice come from the answering machine.

"Good morning, Shiki. Can you do me a favor? I'm supposed to meet Azaka at a cafe called Ahnen erbe near the station at noon but I don't think I can make it. You have nothing to do, right? Can you go there and tell her I can't come?"

The caller hangs up. ... I move my tired body and look at the clock by the bed... "July 22, 7:23AM". It's only been about four hours since I came home. My body still wants sleep, maybe because I've been walking around town until three in the morning since accepting Touko's job. I pull up my sheets. The summer heat does not really matter to me. I was able to tolerate hot and cold weather rather well as a kid, and it still seems that way now. As I lie there for a while, the phone rings again. It switches to the answering machine and this time, I hear a voice I'd rather not hear.

"It's me. Did you see the news? You didn't see it, right? You don't have to see it. I didn't see it either."

... I always thought so, but now I'm confident. The way she thinks is far removed from the way I think. One should not understand the real meaning behind Touko's words.

"There were three deaths last night. Another one of those suicides jumping off a building and two "crimes of passion". None of these are in the news so I'm guessing they were all treated as accidents. But there's one strange case. If you want to know more, come to my place. Actually, you don't have to. Come to think of it, this will do. All right... I'll put it simply so even you'll understand with that sleepy head of yours. There was just another victim."

The caller hangs up. I get pissed off. It has nothing to do with me, even if there is another victim. Even the things around me are uncertain, so this information is useless to me. The death of someone I don't even know about makes less impression on me than the sunlight striking my body.

I finally get up when the weariness in me goes away. I make breakfast the same way the previous Shiki has done for 16 years of her life. I eat it and get ready to go outside. I put on a simple orange kimono today. Since I'll be walking around town, this is what I prefer. ...... Even my choice of clothing is only a habit from the past. I bite my tongue at the feeling that I'm looking at someone else from outside. Two years ago, when Ryougi Shiki was still 17, I wasn't like this. It's not that the two years of coma changed me. ... The empty two years brought me something else. It feels like I am not moving of my own volition. I always get this feeling that the strings called "16 years as Ryougi Shiki" are moving me like a puppet. But it has to be just my feelings. No matter how much I curse myself for being empty and fictitious, in the end, I am moving of my own will. It is impossible for anything other than me to interfere with that.

When I finish changing, the time is almost eleven. I repeat the first message on the answering machine. The voice I have heard many times in the past repeats itself. The voice that was lost in the air is recorded like this.

...Kokutou Mikiya

The last person I saw two years ago...

The classmate that saw me let my guard down two years ago...

I know my past with him, but only the vision of our last moment is not there. No, the memory of the year since I got to know him is full of holes. Many important parts are missing. Why Shiki got in that accident.... Why she was looking at Mikiya's face at that moment... It would be really handy if the forgotten memories were recorded somewhere. I am concerned about the missing memories and it is causing me to not be able to talk to Mikiya naturally.

... The answering machine stops. It's strange that my worries go away a bit when I hear his voice. It makes me feel like I have a firm foundation, but there's no way something like a voice could be a foundation. That should be an illusion too. It probably is an illusion. The only reality I can feel now is the burning excitement I get when I kill people.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Ahnen erbe turns out to be an antique cafe. I check the name written in German and go inside. It's past noon but there aren't many customers inside. I don't know how they built it, but it is dark inside. Only the tables near the door are lit - the back of the cafe, with the counters, is rather dark. The only light is coming through the four square windows in the walls. The tables by those windows are also lit, as if cut out of the darkness. Maybe it's because of the strong sunlight but the contrast feels rather majestic. Kokutou Azaka is sitting at the table in the very back. Two girls in western-style uniform are waiting for Mikiya, side by side.

"Two...?"

That's not what I heard. According to Mikiya, only Azaka should be waiting. I didn't hear about this other girl. I look at them as I walk towards them. They both have long straight black hair. They have similar features and they are beautiful, fit for students at a Ladies Academy, even though their impressions are totally the opposite. Azaka has firm eyes and the strength to face up anything: even her ladylike attitude can't hide this. Mikiya was liked because of his personal charm, but Azaka would be the one that would be admired because of her strictness. The girl next to Azaka looks rather weak. Her posture looks firm and graceful, but she gives the impression that she might break down any second.

"Azaka."

I come close to their table and call out. Azaka looks at me and frowns.

"Ryougi... Shiki."

The voice is filled with enmity. She doesn't even try to hide it. That ladylike exterior is just a facade.

"I am waiting for Nii-san. I have nothing to do with you."

Azaka says, staying calm.

"I have a message from that Nii-san of yours. He said he can't make it. He ditched you."

Azaka gasps. Maybe because the fact that he could not come is a big shock, or maybe because I was the one to come tell her that.

"Shiki, it must be your doing...!"

Azaka's fist trembles. I guess she's shocked that I came.

"Don't be stupid. I'm a victim too. He just selfishly told me to tell you that he can't make it."

Azaka looks at me with fire in her eyes. The girl next to her tries to calm Azaka, as though she might start throwing things if she weren't placated.

"Kokutou-san, everyone's surprised."

A thin voice. I step back.

"...... You're right, today was supposed to be for you. Sorry Fujino, it was wrong for me to get angry."

Azaka apologizes to the girl called Fujino. I look at the calm-looking girl. She is looking at me too.

"Does it...... not hurt?"

I say so unconsciously. The girl does not answer but just stares at me. Showing no interest, like watching a scenery, and inorganic like a bug. I now have two convictions in me. The intuition that this girl is my enemy and the actual feeling that she cannot be.

"... No, it can't be you."

In the end, I decide to trust my feelings. There is no way this girl, Fujino, would be able to enjoy murder. There is no reason for her to. No, first of all, it would be impossible for her thin arms to tear off things like human limbs. It would be a different story if she had abnormal eyes like me... I quickly lose interest in this girl and talk to Azaka.

"That's all. Do you have any messages for him?"

""Nii-san, please quickly break your ties with such a woman.""

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Azaka really leaves this kind of message.

""Nii-san, please quickly break ties with such a woman.""

Azaka seriously told the woman in the kimono, the one called Shiki. I feel rather uneasy due to the claustrophobic air surrounding them. It feels like they have knives aimed at each other's throats and, and are looking for openings to actually cut each other. I get timid within this tight atmosphere. Now, I can only pray that nothing will occur. Fortunately, they stop talking and the woman wearing the kimono leaves gracefully. I stare at her back as she leaves. Shiki spoke with a very masculine tone. I couldn't tell her age because of that, but maybe she's around my age. Her last name was Ryougi... maybe it's ''that'' Ryougi; then her expensive looking kimono makes sense. I could see some designs worked into her kimono. If she is of the Ryougi, it's no surprise she would have her own kimono maker.

"...... She was a beautiful person."

Azaka nods to my murmur. I think she's amazing for answering honestly even when she hates that person.

"But she is just as scary. ... I don't like that person."

Azaka looks surprised. Her surprise is completely natural. Even I am surprised at this feeling. Because probably for the first time in my life, I feel repulsion toward someone.

"That's unexpected. I thought you were someone that wouldn't hate anybody, but I guess I'm wrong."

"Hate......?"

... Dislike is the same as hate? I never thought so. I just feel that I cannot get along with that person. I try closing my eyes. Ryougi Shiki. Her ominous black hair, ominous white skin, and those ominous, bottomless, empty eyes. She was looking at me, so I looked back at her. That's why we saw what was hiding behind us. She only knows blood. She kills of her own will. She tries to hurt others. ... That woman is a killer.

But I am different. I think I am different. It's because I have never wanted to do such a thing. In the darkness behind my closed eyes, I repeat this over and over. But her figure would not disappear. ... We have not talked even once, but her figure is engraved into my mind.

"I'm sorry, Fujino. I ruined your day off."

I open my eyes to Azaka's words. I smile, like I have practiced.

"It's all right. I did not feel like it anyways."

"You do look quite pale. It's hard to tell because you're pretty white to begin with."

I did not feel like it for another reason, but I nod at her words anyways. ... I know my body is not doing well by its reaction, but I did not notice that it is bad enough to show on my face.

"I guess it can't be helped. I'll ask Mikiya myself, so do you want to go home for today?"

Azaka is worried about my health. I thank her.

"But is that message to your brother all right?"

"It's fine. I don't even know how many times I told him that anyways. He should be used to it. To tell you the truth, this a curse. Words that are repeated over and over can twist reality to lean towards that word. Really, a girlie curse. It's sad and pitiful."

I don't know how serious she is but she explains so. I'm used to her unexpectedness. I decide to listen quietly to Azaka's beautiful voice. ... She is always number one academically in our school and she even ranks in the top ten nationwide. Azaka is a bit strange and has this gentlemanly side to her. Azaka is one of my friends from Reien Academy. Both of us entered that school from our high school. Since Reien is an "escalator" school from elementary school, it's rare for people to come starting from high school like us. We met because of that and are close enough that we even go out sometimes on weekends. Today, I was supposed to have her brother look for someone through Azaka.

I went to a local middle school and when I was there, a Senpai from a different school talked to me at an event. ... I had been depressed recently, but I was saved by thinking about this Senpai. When I told Azaka about it, she said we should look for this person. It happens that her brother is also from this area and he knows a lot of people around here. She said he is really good at looking for people our age. ... It's not that I really wanted to see him, but we end up deciding to look for this person with me not being able to refuse the pushy Azaka. We were waiting for her brother today but it seems he could not come. ... I am relieved in a way.

I am not really into this whole thing because... I accidentally ran into him two days ago. At that time, I was able to say what I couldn't say three years ago. Since I have done what I wanted to do, there is no point in looking for this person anymore. Maybe Azaka's brother couldn't come because God knew I didn't need him anymore.

"Let's get going. It's hard to stay here over an hour buying just drinks."

Azaka gets up. Even though she should be sad about not being able to see her brother, she still gets up gracefully. Sometimes, she is really manly. Maybe because of the way she talks. Her formal tone disappears like just now and becomes cool like a man. It's not that she's disguising herself, but that's just a part of her. I really like this friend of mine. ...... That's why I shouldn't see her anymore.

"Azaka. Please go back to the dorm by yourself. I will be staying at my parents house tonight again."

"Really? That's fine but Sister will be glaring at you if you stay out too much. You should restrain yourself."

Waving her hand, Azaka leaves the cafe. Being alone, I take a glance at the sign. "Ahnen erbe": it means "inheritance" in German.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

After Azaka leaves, I start walking aimlessly. It is a lie that I am going back to my parents' house. There is no place for me to go back to now. From that night two days ago, I have not even been going to school. My father has probably been contacted already for unexcused absences. They will ask me what I was doing if I go back home. I am not good at telling lies so I might slip everything out. If that happens... father will contempt me.

I am my mother's child from her former marriage. Father only needed mother's house and land, so I was just something on the side since that time. That is why I worked hard not to be hated.
A faithful woman like my mother, a student my father can be proud of, a normal girl nobody would be suspicious of.........
...... I always wanted to be that way.

Not for someone else, but for myself. I always dreamed that, and it has protected me. But it came to an end. Such magic is not around me no matter how much I look. I continue walking, the sun is starting to set. I walk past many irrelevant people and many stoplights which blink insensibly. People older than me, people younger than me, everyone looks so happy. My heart contracts in pain. I think of something and pinch my cheek. ...... I do not feel anything. I pinch harder. ............ Nothing. When I give up and let go, I notice that my fingertips are red. I guess I pinched hard enough that my nails dug into my skin. But I still feel nothing. I do not feel that I am alive.

"Fufu..."

I laugh thinking it's funny. Why does my heart feel pain when I myself do not feel any pain? First of all, what is heart? Is it my heart that's hurt or my brain? When the brain receives any words that are directed to attack an individual called Asagami Fujino, it creates a wound as protection. Since a wound lets a person know it hurts, whatever story I come up with is only a medicine that soothes the pain. That is why even though I cannot feel pain, I still understand pain in my heart. But that is probably just an illusion. Definitely an illusion. Real pain cannot be cured just by words. One quickly forgets a pain in their heart because it is so trivial; but a wound on your body gives you pain as long as the wound is there. That is a strong proof of life.

If my heart is my brain, then my brain should get a wound. Then I should be able to feel pain; like my days up to now. If the memories of the days I was violated by those people became wounds...

..... I remember again their laughter and their scary faces. All those times I was violated and threatened. When that guy with the knife jumped on me, my stomach felt hot and the clothes around my stomach area were cut. When I thought I was going to get stabbed, I became violent. After I was done with them, I realized that the heat in my stomach was pain. My heart shrinks once more. "I won't forgive them." Those words repeat in my head over and over.

"Guh......"

My knee wobbles. It comes again. My stomach is burning. It feels like an invisible hand is clutching at my insides.

I feel like vomiting. ......... I do not feel that way normally.
I feel dizzy. ......... I abruptly lose consciousness in this situation normally.
My arm is numb. ......... I confirm it is there by looking at it normally.
It really hurts. ......... Yes, I feel alive.

The place I was stabbed is starting to hurt. The pain of the already-healed wound breaks out unexpectedly like this. A long time ago, mother said that wounds will not hurt once they heal. But that is a lie. The wound made by that knife is still hurting me even after the wound has healed.

... But mother, I like this pain. For me who has never felt that I was alive, there is nothing else that makes me feel more alive than this sensation. This remaining sense of pain is not an illusion.

"I have to look for him quickly."

I murmur under my ragged breath. I have to get my revenge. I have to kill the boy that got away. It is irritating, but if I don't do so, people will find out that I am a murderer. I don't want that since I finally have obtained the sense of pain. I want to keep on feeling the pleasure of being alive. I take this body, that hurts every time I move it, and start to walk toward their hangout place. I cry at the remaining sense of pain in my stomach. But right now, even that discomfort is lovely.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_04|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_06|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 04

2009-04-09T05:23:20Z

61.11.175.146: /* 2 */

<noinclude>===Remaining Sense of Pain／===</noinclude>
====2====

After the incident with the unknown girl, I head to my workplace. There is no official name for the place where I work. Its specialty is doll-making, but most of the jobs we get are construction-related. The president, Aozaki Touko, is a woman in her late twenties and she is a weirdo that would buy an abandoned building to make her office. It means that this is not a company, but rather an extension of her hobby. There are many reasons why I decided to work here, but this is my daily life now. I have complaints but I have no troubles. I think I am rather fortunate. There are problems but they are all things I can bear.

... While I'm thinking, I arrive at the building. It is four stories high, and the office is on the fourth floor. This building situated between the residential and the industrial district feels rather empty. It's not that tall, yet it seems to put pressure on the ones looking up to it. There are no elevators, so I go up the stairs.

When I enter the office, I see an unusual person amongst the usual junk scattered about. A girl with sharp eyes wearing a black kimono turns to me. ... The kimono has a fish pattern on it...

"Huh, Shiki? Why are you here at such a place?"

"Sorry that this place is "such a place". It happens to be your workplace, Kokutou."

Touko-san, who is sitting behind Shiki, glares at me. She is dressed as plainly as always with a cigarette in her mouth. She is wearing black pants with a white shirt, and an earring in one of her ears: orange, of course. I don't know why, but she seems to have this habit of always wearing something orange.

"But you sure are here early today. I told you there are no jobs for a while, so you should show up around noon."

"No, I can't do that."

That's right. My wallet is not allowing me to do that. I feel rather uneasy when the only things in my wallet are my train pass and a telephone card.

"By the way, why is Shiki here?"

"I called for her. I've got something I need her for."

Shiki does not say anything, but rubs her eyes sleepily. ... Was she walking around at night again? ... It's only been about a month since she recovered from her coma. For some reason, we're finding it rather uncomfortable to talk to each other. It seems Shiki does not want to talk so I sit down at my own desk. ...There's nothing to do, so I decide to talk. Fortunately, there is a topic handy.

"Touko-san, did you see the news this morning?"

"You must mean the Broad Bridge. It's not like some foreign country, I don't think Japan needs that big of a bridge."

I recoil at her comment. What she is talking about is a big bridge, about 800 meters long, that is planned to finish construction next year. The town we live in is close to the port. If you drive for about 20 minutes, you can get to the port, but the shape itself is troublesome. To put it simply, there is another side to it. If you look at it on a map, it looks like a crescent moon, and a long roundabout is forced if you want to get from the top to the bottom. The city's construction group teamed up with a big construction company and put into action what they said was the solution to the public complaints. They are building a straight route across the tips of the crescent shape in the form of a bridge. ... Of course, most of the money to build this is coming from our taxes. I think it is a typical case of the government saying they are solving public complaints which did not exist from the start, only resulting in more public complaints. The bridge is also to have museums, aquariums, big parking lots and such, and you can't really tell whether it's a bridge or an amusement park. It was called Baybridge until recently but according to what Touko-san is saying, I guess its name has officially been announced as Broad Bridge. Both Touko-san and I do not like the idea of this bridge.

"But Touko-san, even though you hate the idea, you already have a space in there for your gallery."

"It's not under my will. A person I knew just gave me that space as a payment. I could just sell it off but since I have some relations with the Asagami construction company, I can't just do that. Geez, a place that won't make me money is worthless."

From the way she's talking, she seems to be having trouble with money. I get a really bad feeling.

"Um, I don't want to say this so bluntly, but can I have my pay?"

"Kokutou, about that... unfortunately, I don't have any money. It's unfortunate, but I'll have to pay you all next month."

Touko-san declares so calmly. She sounds like I'm the bad guy instead.

"Wait a minute! You had 1.12 million yen in the bank yesterday! How could you say it's all gone!?"

Touko-san replies, while rocking on her chair, that it's because she used it all. Shiki is looking at Touko-san with some jealousy. ...Certainly, Touko-san looks like she's having fun in that chair. No, I don't care about that right now.

"What did you use the money on, Touko-san?"

"Oh, what I bought was this boring thing. It's an Ouija board from the Victorian age. I can't expect much out of its effect, but it's not totally worthless because it's over a hundred years old. No matter how uninteresting it is, some mana and a large amount of time will give it some additional value. Well, it still makes no difference that it's useless. If I have to give a reason for buying it, you could say it's part of my hobby."

I just don't understand this person. This person called Aozaki Touko is a magus. I always think how much better it would have been if she was just a magician or something, but that's the truth so I have to accept it. The magus continues her excuse.

"It suddenly appeared on sale, so I bought it on impulse. Don't get so angry. I'm out of money too."

... Don't be angry? That's asking too much. As I have seen many miracles from her, I'd thought this part of her was rather playful, but I cannot be that tolerant today.

"So is that it? I'm not getting paid this month?"

"Yeah. Get some money from somewhere else."

I get up from my seat.

"Then I'm going to go find some money to live off of this month so I'm leaving early. Is that alright?"

"Fine. By the way, Kokutou, I need to ask you a favor."

Touko-san says this in a different tone. Maybe it has to do something with the fact that Shiki is here... I calm down and stop.

"What is it, Touko-san?"

"Can you lend me some money? I'm broke as you can see."

"...... I refuse with all my might."

I close the door hard and leave the office.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

After looking at the conversation between Mikiya and Touko for a while, Shiki finally opens her mouth.

"Touko, about that thing."

"That's right. I don't really like to accept this kind of a job but I won't be able to live without money. ......Geez, I'm going mad over money when I'm not an alchemist. This is all because Kokutou won't lend me any money."

Touko sticks her cigarette into the ashtray saying she's in a bad mood. Shiki thinks Mikiya is probably is in a worse mood than her.

"Well, about that incident last night..."

"I've heard enough. I know what's going on."

"I see...... I only explained to you the scene of the crime, but you already know? You're pretty sharp."

Touko looks meaningfully at Shiki. Touko has only explained the results of the murder that occurred between 7PM and 8PM last night and Shiki is saying she understood what kind of crime it was. This is definite proof that Shiki is a person closer to the world Touko lives in.

"The client has some idea of the killer. Your job is to take the her under your care if possible, but if she happens to fight back even slightly... the client said to kill her."

Shiki nods. The job description is easy. Find the killer, and kill her.

"But what about after that?"

"If you happen to kill her, they will clean it up and treat it as an accident. For the client, she is already socially dead. It is not against the law to kill a dead person. What do you want to do? I think this job rather suits you."

"I don't even need to answer that question."

Saying that, Shiki starts to walk out the office.

"You're in such a hurry. Were you hungry, Shiki?"

Shiki does not answer.

"Here's her picture and her status. What were you going to do without knowing what she looks like?"

Shiki looks at Touko, who throws her the file containing the information. It drops to the floor.

"I don't need it. That killer is definitely of my kind. ... So if we were to meet, we'd try to kill each other at that very instant."

Shiki departs from the office, leaving only the sound of her kimono and a cold glare.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

It can't be helped. After leaving the office, I decide to borrow some money from a friend of mine. We choose to meet at the cafeteria of the college that I quit in June. A bit after noon, Gakuto arrives. He has grown much bigger since high school. When I tell him what I came for, he makes a troubled face.

"I'm surprised. Calling for someone just to borrow money? Are you really Kokutou Mikiya?"

"Yeah. You're special to me. You should be happy about that."

"Heh, who would be? Besides, why don't you go borrow from your relatives?"

"I haven't seen my parents ever since that fight I got into with them when I dropped out of college. How do you expect me to go back and ask such a thing now?"

"Haha, you're pretty stubborn. Was it a big fight?"

"That has nothing to do with you. So, are you going to lend me some money or not?"

"Hm? You're in a pretty bad mood today."

I glare at him saying that it's none of his business, but Gakuto agrees to lend me some money.

"If I put your name out, I bet I would be able to collect fifty or sixty thousand yen quite quickly... and if you still need more, I could lend you some of my money. But, not for free."

... It seems he also has a favor to ask of me. Gakuto looks around, and makes sure no one is listening.

"Well, to put it simply, I want for you to look for someone. It's one of our underclassmen, but he hasn't returned home. It seems he's been involved in a strange crime."

Gakuto's story is unsettling. The name of the missing underclassman is Minato Keita. He has been missing since last night and Gakuto says that he was a member of the group that was killed last night. Minato Keita contacted one of his friends last night, but it seems he was acting strangely, so that friend went to Gakuto for help.

"Keita was saying something like he was going to be killed. That's the only call he made and he doesn't even answer his cell phone now. According to the guy who talked to him, he was really screwed up."

Screwed up... he must mean drugs... Easy drugs for beginners are cheap and relatively easy to get nowadays. Even a high schooler could get their hands on L if they tried; but they shouldn't be trying in the first place...

"... Hey now. Do you think such a violent world suits me?"

"What are you saying? Looking for people is your specialty."

I grow quiet.

"That guy Keita, does he do drugs?"

"No, the ones who used them were the ones who were killed. Don't you remember Keita? He's one of the kids that liked you."

... During high school, I was liked by some underclassmen for some reason. Maybe because I'm a friend of Gakuto, or something.

"It would make things easier if he were just tripping on a new drug. What kind of drugs do they use? Uppers or Downers?"

There are two types of drugs: Uppers, the ones that make you mentally high and feel good; and Downers, the ones that make you depressed. The one Gakuto names is an Upper.

"It's terrible if he's using drugs to escape his fears. The killer really might be after this kid. Alright, I'll look into this. Tell me about his friends."

Gakuto hands me an address book as if he was ready for me to say so. Having lots of friends is characteristic of the members of that group and it seems he's no exception. Many names with their cell phone numbers; along with each group's hangout place, are written.

"I'll contact you once I find him. I might be able to get him under my protection but you wouldn't care, would you?"

By "protection", I mean handing him over to Daisuke Nii-san, a cop. Gakuto nods, understanding. We reach an agreement. To start off my search, I borrow about twenty thousand yen from him.

After saying goodbye to Gakuto, I decide to go to the murder scene. I feel that I'll have to really try if I'm to find him. Even though I know I shouldn't concern myself in these matters, I also know that this kid is in danger, so I could not decline Gakuto..

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_03|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_05|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 03

2009-04-09T05:21:44Z

61.11.175.146: /* 1 */

<noinclude>===Remaining Sense of Pain／===</noinclude>
====1====

July nears its end and my surroundings have started to fill with all sorts of weird events, like a friend who has been in a coma for two years finally regaining consciousness; like finishing the second big job at my workplace; and like my sister whom I haven't seen for five years coming to see me. The nineteenth summer of me, Kokutou Mikiya, started in such a commotion.

Today was one of my rare days off, but I accompanied my high school friend to go drinking. I noticed I had missed the last train. Others took cabs home, but as my payday is tomorrow, I do not have such extra money. It can't be helped, so I decide to walk home. Fortunately, my house is only two stations away from here. The date has just changed from July 20 to July 21.

Past midnight, I walk through the night town alone. Since tomorrow is a weekday, the shopping district is fast asleep. It rained hard tonight. It had stopped before midnight, but the asphalt still shows signs of the rain as the wet ground makes splashing sounds. It is the middle of summer and the temperature is way above 30 degrees. The hot night air and the humidity from the rain irritates me. I see a girl crouched on the sidewalk. A girl wearing a black school uniform is holding her stomach in pain as she crouches at the guardrail. ... I notice the nun-like uniform. That plain but party dress-like fancy design is of the Reien Ladies' Academy. According to Gakuto, it's really famous to those kinds of people, as they say it's like a maid's outfit. ...It's not that I'm one of those people, but I know because my sister goes there.

"I heard all the students there lived in dorms..."

But to see her here at this time is too strange. She must be in some kind of trouble, or is just a bad student who doesn't follow the school rules. With my sister going to the same school and all, I decide to talk to her. When I call to her, she slowly turns to me and her long hair sways.

".........."

It seems the girl gasped really faintly. She has really long hair. Her eyes look calm and she too looks calm. Her face is small... it's cute but she also has some handsome features. That balance is more like Japanese beauty. Her long hair is cast straight behind her and a small section of it is separated around her ears to drape down to her breast. It seems the left side of her hair has been cut though. Her fringe is cut straight and it reminds me of a good lady from a respected family.

"Yes? What is it?"

The girl asks with a pale face. Her lips are purple. It's obvious she has cyanosis. She has one of her hands on her stomach, her face twisted in pain.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, um... I, um..."

She tries to act calm yet her words are not. The girl looks rather fragile. She gives the impression that she's going to break down any second, just like Shiki when I first met her.

"You're a student of the Reien Academy, right? Did you miss your train? That place is far from here. Do you want me to go get a taxi for you?"

"No, it's all right. I don't have any money."

"Yeah, I don't have any either."

The girl looks at me in surprise. ... I notice that I gave a surprisingly stupid reply.

"I see. Then your house must be near here. I heard everyone there lived in a dorm but I guess you're allowed to go out."

"No, my house is a long way away."

I tilt my head in wonder.

"Then is it something like running away?"

"Yes, I think that is what I have to resort to."

... I'm troubled. Looking at her, the girl is soaked. Maybe she didn't find cover in that rain earlier but she is dripping wet. ... Since that time, I've hated girls wet with rain. That must be why these words came out of my mouth.

"You want to come to my place just for tonight?"

"Can I...?"

Still sitting down, she looks at me as if she's desperate. I nod.

"I live alone, so there's no problem. But I won't make any guarantees. I don't have any bad intentions, but if anything weird happens, I might get "in the mood." I'm a healthy man so take that into consideration too. If you're still okay with that, then come along. Unfortunately, it's before my payday so I can't give you much, but I should at least have some painkillers."

The girl becomes happy. That defenseless and pure smile also makes me happy. When I extend my hands to her, she gracefully gets up.

... It seemed there are red stains where the girl has been sitting...

I take this unknown girl with me and start walking through the night town again.

"We're going to walk a bit, but tell me if you're suffering. I should at least be able to carry a girl on my back."

"Yes, but my wound is healed so it doesn't hurt."

She says so, but her hand is still on her stomach. It's obvious she's in some kind of pain. I ask her again.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

The girl denies it and grows quiet again. We walk a bit more. After a small silence, the girl shakes her head.

"... Yes. It really, really hurts. I'm about to cry... can I cry?"

When I nod, the girl closes her eyes looking satisfied. It looks as if she is watching a dream.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The girl did not tell me her name so I decide not to tell her mine either. I feel that it's more romantic that way. Once we get to the apartment, the girl says she wants to borrow the shower. She also says she wants to dry her clothes so I decide to stay outside. Giving her a cheap excuse that I'm going to go buy some smokes, I leave the room. I feel that I am really good natured as I'm going out to buy these things that I would not smoke.

After spending about an hour outside and coming back, I find her asleep on the sofa. I set my alarm clock to seven thirty and lie on my bed. As I fall asleep, I worry about the cut in her uniform near her stomach.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

When I wake up the next morning, the girl is sitting in the living room as she has nothing to do. She gives me a bow once she notices I'm awake.

"Thank you for last night. I cannot do anything in return but I am really thankful."

The girl gets up and starts to leave. ... I feel a bit guilty about making her sit and wait just to say that to me.

"Wait, at least stay and get some breakfast."

The girl obediently follows what I say. The only things left are pasta and olive oil so naturally, our breakfast becomes spaghetti. I quickly make it for the two of us and carry it to the table to eat. Since it's so quiet, I turn on the TV and see a terrible news broadcast.

"... Wow, this is the kind of story Touko-san would like."

I murmur something aloud, so that if she were here, she would be throwing something at me. ... But that's how weird the contents of the news are. I listen to the newscaster who talks about what happened last night.

Last night, in the basement of a bar that has been abandoned for half a year, four dead bodies were found. It seems all four victims had their limbs torn off and the scene of the crime was soaked in a pool of blood. The place is pretty close to here, maybe around four stations away from last night's place. It's strange that they said the limbs were torn off rather than cut off, but the news does not elaborate much over it, and rather goes into the information on the victims.

All four of the victims were high-schoolers, and they were just kids that played around near that place. It seems they did some drugs too, and a person who the newscaster is interviewing is talking about the victims' personal lives.

......I think they deserved to die, those kids.

Those words flow from the TV and I get annoyed by this speaking ill of the dead, so I turn off the television. Looking at the girl, she is placing her hand painfully on her stomach. Seeing that she hasn't taken a bite of food, she might be really hurt. I can't see her expression as she is looking down.

'...... There's nobody that deserves to die."

She says so with ragged breath.

"Why... I'm healed, so why...?!"

The girl gets up from the chair and runs to the door. I quickly follow her but she raises her hand to stop me. It seems she does not want me to go near her.

"Wait. I think you should calm down."

"It's all right. I knew it... I cannot go back."

Her face twists in pain. The face that bears a pain seems similar to Shiki. The girl calms down and bows at me before she opens the door.

"Good bye. I never want to see you again."

The girl leaves just like that. Her face is that of a Japanese doll, with the exception of her eyes.

They seemed like she was about to cry.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_02|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_04|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 08

2009-04-09T05:19:41Z

61.11.175.146: /* 4 */

<noinclude>===Sense of Pain／Stay Behind===</noinclude>
====4====

I tell Touko-san about the situation, and have her protect Keita. She lets the boy, who hasn't slept since the night of the incident, on to her sofa and comes back into the office where Shiki and I are waiting. Touko-san sits on her chair and Shiki is leaning up against the wall. I am sitting on the sofa directly in front of Touko-san. Finally calming down after Keita falls asleep, they both tell me that I am too good-natured. I take their words of criticism with a sullen face.

"I knew you guys were going to make fun of me like that."

"If you knew, you shouldn't have involved yourself in this mess. You're easily taken advantage of by those kind of guys.."

"It can't be helped. The situation was special."

Touko-san ponders my response. She is using offensive words, but she did agree to take Keita in for protection. Shiki, however, is against it. She might be really mad, as she is glaring at me wordlessly.

"Special case, huh? I do admit this is an abnormal case but what are you going to do now? Are you thinking about looking for her and persuading her?"

"...... I'm thinking so. We can't have him here forever and Asagami Fujino might continue killing people. I think I can only go see her and talk to her."

"You idiot. That's why we say you're too good-natured."

Shiki holds nothing back. She never does, but she is rather offensive today. She really is mad.

"You won't be able to talk to her, it's too late. She won't stop until she accomplishes her goal. No, I don't even know if she'll stop then. Her means and intention are reversed."

"Shiki, you sound like you know her."

"I know her, and I've met her too. She was there with Azaka yesterday."

I'm surprised. I wonder why Azaka would be with Asagami Fujino. They are totally unrelat--.... I guess not. I only heard that she is a high schooler but it's a different story if she is from Reien Ladies Academy.

"You're pretty slow, Kokutou. You haven't investigated Asagami Fujino yet?"

"Hey now, I only heard her name for the first time two hours ago. My role was to protect Minato Keita, so I didn't have time to do anything like that."

... But I have a bad feeling about this. It's not that I'm worried that Azaka might be involved... it feels more like the impatience you feel when you are forced to think about something you've been avoiding.

"... Then is Asagami Fujino still going to school?"

"No, she hasn't been home or back at the dorms since the night of the incident. She's been skipping school too: she has completely disappeared. Azaka said she hasn't seen her since yesterday."

"Touko-san, when did you research this?"

"Just a while ago. I received a search request from her parents. I heard Azaka was with Asagami Fujino yesterday from Shiki but it seems Azaka didn't notice anything wrong with her friend."

What irony, if my promise with Azaka was a day later or if I had found Keita faster, yesterday's victim might not have been killed.

"So the protection of Minato Keita is not meaningless to us. If we cannot find her, we can use him as bait. It'll get rough from there so you and Keita should stay here."

With that, I finally understand... the reason why Shiki is here.

"Rough......? What are you going to do with Asagami Fujino?"

"Depending on the circumstances, we'll probably have to resort to combat. First of all, even the client wishes it. He doesn't want his daughter reported as a killer. He told us to get rid of her before it all goes public."

"What? It's not like she's committing meaningless murders...! I think a discussion is possible."

"That's impossible. You haven't heard the whole truth. You don't know the final blow she took when she killed them. I made Keita confess when I put him to sleep. I heard that his leader attacked Fujino on the last night with a knife. It seems she was stabbed. That's what triggered her revenge."

... Knife... so she was threatened with a knife even after being violated? So why would that be the reason she's beyond help?

"The problem is right there. She was stabbed in her stomach on the night of the 20th. Shiki saw her two days later. At that time, she had no wound... she was completely healed."

"Stabbed in the stomach......"

Hold on. Don't think anymore. My mind tries to stop me but fails. On the night of 20th, student of the Reien Academy, stabbed in the stomach......

"I heard it from Keita, but she says on the phone that she cannot forget because the wound keeps on hurting. The wound that healed starts to hurt. Probably, whenever she has a flashback of the times when she was violated, the pain of being stabbed returns. The horrible memory brings back the terrible pain. I believe the pain is an illusion, but it must be real for her. This is no different than a fit. Every time Asagami Fujino has a flashback of the pain that doesn't even exist, she kills. Who can be sure that won't happen while you're talking with her?"

But that means we can talk to her if she doesn't feel the pain. But before I can say so, Shiki speaks out.

"That's wrong, Touko. She really feels pain. It's still in her body."

"That can't be. Then, Shiki, is it your mistake that her wound is completely healed?"

"Her stab wound is healed. There's nothing like a piece of metal in her. Her pain really did appear and disappear. It's already too late when she's in pain, but when she's not, she's too boring. I told you that I came back 'cause she wasn't even worth killing."

"Well, she would be already dead if a fragment of metal were still inside her... but a wound that still hurts after it's healed, huh?"

Touko-san takes out a cigarette as if saying she doesn't understand. I too can only wonder at Shiki's words. It's normal to be in pain until the wound heals. But why would the pain of a wound that's already healed come back from time to time? That's like having only the sense of pain remaining in your body.

"... Oh."

And it hits me. It's not an answer to her unknown symptoms, but I am able to understand why Keita called her weird.

"Kokutou, is that some new way of staying healthy by saying vowels out loud?"

... I don't think anyone would do such a thing, even if it existed.

"No, about Asagami Fujino being weird."

Touko-san raises her brow. Oh, I only told her the summary of the story, so I guess I haven't told her about this yet. I tell her about the strange condition of Fujino.

"Isn't something strange? It was in the conversation with Minato Keita, but it seems she was unaffected by anything they did to her. I thought she was a strong girl at first, but I was wrong. She isn't that resolute of a person."



"...... You sound like you know her, Mikiya."

Shiki glares at me. My instincts tell me to ignore her. ... I might be digging myself a hole if I didn't.

"It's possible... I don't know that much about it, but I think she might have something like Paresthesia, or pain insensitivity."

Pain insensitivity is just as it sounds, a disorder where one cannot feel any pain. It's a very rare condition, so you never encounter it, but if that happens to be the case, her strange symptoms might be possible.

"I see. Then that can explain some things, but there should be a reason. Even if she did get stabbed, if she is pain insensitive, there wouldn't be any pain to start out with. You also need to check if she was born with it and you also have to know if her nerves are dissociated. Well, assuming that she is pain insensitive, is there anything that might cause this insensitivity to malfunction, like hitting her back hard or taking lots of steroids?"


Hitting her back hard... it must be that.

"I don't know how hard, but I heard they hit her in the back with a bat."

I say this as unemotionally as possible. Touko-san just laughs.

"I see. As it's them, they probably took a full swing. Her backbone might have been broken. Even small fracture is considered a broken bone. And she was still violated even after her backbone was broken, not knowing what that feeling is. Geez, that's the first pain she feels, huh? She must have not understood what her irritation was. Wow, I'm surprised you decided to protect Minato Keita."

Touko-san says so, grinning. She has this bad habit of cornering someone with her words. I guess she likes to attack people mentally, and it usually ends up being me. I usually fight back, but I cannot answer right now. ... I don't have the confidence to. All I could do is look down and reject her response.

"... So, Touko-san, are the backbone and pain insensitivity related somehow?"

"Yeah, your spine controls your nerves, right? When you have a problem with your sense of pain, you usually have something wrong in your spine. Do you know of Syringomyelia?"

... I would not know of such a technical medical term. Touko-san lowers her shoulders in disappointment when I shake my head.

"Syringomyelia is the most common case of pain insensitivity. Listen, Kokuto, there are two types of sense. ''Superficial sensation'' that lets you feel such things as pain, temperature, and touch. And there's ''deep sensation'' that tells you of your body movements and general area. Normally, these two senses work at the same time. Do you know what it means to have no senses at all?"

"I can put it in words. You won't feel anything that you touch, and you won't taste anything that you eat, right?" 

Touko-san nods with a smile.

"That's a natural response of a person with senses. You think they don't have senses but have a body, so they are like you. But that's wrong. To have no sense means that you cannot gain anything, Kokutoh."

Cannot gain anything...? No way. They should still be able to hold things and talk to others. Then that would only mean that they cannot feel what they are touching. Why would that lead to not being able to gain anything? It's not like they don't have their body. I think it's better than someone missing a part of their body or something.

Then I realize. ...... No body. Even when they touch, they cannot feel that they are touching. They just look at it and confirm that they are "touching". That is the same as reading a book. What's so different about it from reading a book or imagining  a story? Even when they walk, they are only moving their body. They do not feel the ground, but only feel their feet moving. No, even that feeling is barely confirmed by looking at their own feet. To have no sense means not having a body. That would make them no different from ghosts. For them, all reality is what they see through their eyes. That's the same as not being able to touch anything even if they really can touch...!!

"So that's pain insensitivity, huh?"

... That night, I met a girl who was uncertain about reality.

"That's right. Let's assume Asagami Fujino's pain insensitivity temporarily went away from being hit in her back. Then that would mean she knows what pain feels like. That sense she has never felt before must be her impulse for murder."

Would that girl, who found out what pain feels like, hate such a sensation? No, it would be impossible for her to think so. ... Since she is like a ghost, I can only imagine how happy she must have been when she felt the sensation of pain. She would have not understood the feeling of happiness either, though.

"... Maybe the pain insensitivity went away temporarily, and her experiencing pain might have caused her to figure out the emotion of hate. The feeling of pain she finally obtained triggered her revenge..."

... What irony.

"That's the question. Fujino said that she is taking revenge because her wound is hurting, but I have to wonder. To be more accurate, her pain makes her recall the violations done to her which makes her want to take revenge. I think this is how it is but it just doesn't feel right. First of all, according to Shiki, she's back to pain insensitivity, right? Then that would take away her reason for revenge. Her wound should not hurt since it's healed."

"That's wrong, Touko-san. To have no feelings must mean she cannot experience sexual stimulation either, so she could not feel anything even when they raped her. To her, it only means that her body was raped. But... no, because of that, instead of her body hurting, her heart was taking the pain. I think her wounds are not on her body but rather in her soul. That's why the pain comes back with the memory, because her heart is in pain."

Touko-san does not answer. In her place, Shiki starts to laugh.

"That's impossible. There's no such thing as a soul . How can something that's not there hurt?"

I can't think of any comebacks to what she says. Surely, something sentimental, such as a soul, is not something you can prove to exist. When I am just standing there silently, Touko-san disagrees with Shiki.

"But people's hearts, their minds, are easily broken. I don't think you can conclude that it can't be hurt just because it has no form. In reality, some people die because they are hurt mentally. No matter how poor of an illusion it is, as long as it is true for the person, the illusion can be called "pain"."

That's a rather ambiguous answer for her. But now, I have someone on my side. Shiki gets angry.

"What, Touko, are you siding with Asagami Fujino too? She's not like that."

"Yeah, I feel the same way with respect to that. I don't think Asagami Fujino would be that sentimental. She takes revenge because her heart hurts? I don't think so. Because, if you're pain insensitive, even your heart won't feel pain."

She instantly sides against me.

"Look, personality is medically defined as "a phenomenon by which a person reacts to outside force". A person's emotions... such things as "kindness" and "hate" cannot just come from within. They would not function unless something from outside stimulates them. That's why there is pain. To not have pain means this cannot happen. People with pain insensitivity lack personality. They do not think like you or have tastes similar to us. They do not understand common sense. That's why talking with her is meaningless."

She casually tells me the conclusion of the suggestion of talking to her. Her indifference seems rather like a last warning and puts me on the edge.

"... Please don't say that when you haven't even met her."

I stand up from the sofa, not being able to take it any longer.

"That's all under the assumption that Asagami Fujino has been pain insensitive since she was born. This might not be the case."

"You're the one who said she might be pain insensitive."

She says so coldly. ... This person really does not care about others. How can she be so cold to Asagami Fujino when she's a woman? Or is it that she can be this cold ''because'' she is a woman?

"Well, I do have things that I'm concerned about too. Asagami Fujino might be just a victim. The question is which was first."

... What does she mean by "which was first"? Touko-san starts to ponder and does not explain anymore.

"What do you think, Shiki?"

I ask her without turning around. Shiki answers exactly as I expected.

"Same as Touko. But I can't allow Asagami Fujino to continue, regardless of what Touko thinks. I feel sick just by thinking that she might commit another murder."

"Hate towards those similar to you, huh? It does seem true that your kind doesn't like to form groups."

Touko-san hears Shiki's words. I know why Shiki said so. ... When will Shiki realize herself that she really does not like murder? Asagami Fujino and Ryougi Shiki, I do think the two are alike. Since they are similar, they cannot forgive the crucial difference. If the two did end up in combat... would Shiki realize her true feelings? No, I can't let them fight.

"...... I understand. I'll look into her information my way. Can I see any data on her if you have any?"

Touko-san hands it to me. Shiki looks away telling me to do as I please. Looking at the information, Asagami Fujino was living in Nagano until elementary school. Her surname there was not Asagami as in "Shallow Top" but Asagami as in "Shallow God". Her father right now is not her real father, meaning that she followed her mother when she remarried. I guess this would be the place to start my investigation.

"I have to travel quite a long way. I may not come back today or tomorrow. Oh, and Touko-san. Is there really any such thing as supernatural power?"

"You don't believe what Minato Keita said? Asagami Fujino surely has some sort of power to that effect. That. The term "supernatural power" is too broad, so it's not really that accurate. If you want to know about it, I can introduce you to a specialist."

Saying that, Touko-san writes the address of this supernatural power-specialist on the back of her business card.

"Wait, you don't know much about it?"

"Of course not. Magic is a study. How can we associate ourselves with something inherent without history or theory violating the rule? Those kind of powers only given to the chosen ones are what I hate the most."

She really must hate it, as she sounds like she has her glasses on. I take her business card and then speak to Shiki.

"Shiki, I'm going but make sure you don't push yourself."

"You're the one pushing yourself. I guess it really is true that stupidity can't be fixed."

Shiki uses these offensive words, but then nods, saying she'll try. I leave the office with relief. It's alright, I've never died but I was almost killed once. I haven't told her that the one who almost killed me was Shiki herself. She forgot about that incident after she recovered from her coma - it's fine if she does not remember.

I will probably never tell her about it.

<noinclude>
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|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_07|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_09|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 07

2009-04-09T05:16:26Z

61.11.175.146: /* 3 */

<noinclude>===Sense of Pain／Stay Behind===</noinclude>
====3====

In the early morning on July 23, I finally get to Minato Keita's place. From the information from his friends, his average radius of action, and his way of thinking, I was finally able to narrow down his hiding place after a whole day. In one of the mansions located far from the residential district... he is trespassing and staying in a room on the sixth floor. I ring the doorbell and call out in a semi-loud voice.

"Keita-kun. I came to help you on request from your Senpai. I'm coming in."

The door is not locked so I enter quietly. There is no light on inside the room and it's dark, even though it is morning. I walk through the wooden hallway and reach the living room. From the empty living room, you can see the kitchen and the bedroom.

"You're in the back, right? I'm coming in."

There is another room beside the bedroom. I open the door and find that it's pitch black inside, as all of the curtains are drawn. A small scream comes out when I open the door. ... Like I thought, there's nothing in the room. A room without furniture is just like a box, there is no sign of life. In this room is a boy who looks to be about 16, trash from food, and a cell phone.

"You are Minato Keita-kun, right? It's unhealthy for you to stay in here. And it's wrong to use this room even when nobody is using it. This could be treated as burglary, you know?"

When I enter the room, Keita backs up against the wall. ... His face is terribly thin and worn-out. It's only been three days since that incident but his cheeks are hollow and his eyes are red. It's obvious he has not slept. I heard that he was doing drugs, but that was wrong. He is going insane without the help of drugs. ... He just doesn't want to face reality after seeing such a tragic scene. He is barely maintaining his sanity by staying in this dark room. It's a really dangerous way for him to defend himself, but it might be useful at least for a few days. I let out a sigh of relief in my head since I made it in time.

"...... Who are you?"

There is still a bit of sensibility left in his voice. I stop. He is still confused after facing such a tragedy. He might be scared of the killer, so who knows what he would do if I were to get closer. Doubt will make him think I am his enemy. But... it should be different if we can talk. If we talk, his intelligence should return. I decide to stand and talk instead of trying to calm him down from close by.

"Who are you?"

I raise both my hands at his question.

"I'm a friend of Gakuto. I am a Senpai too. I'm Kokuto Mikiya, do you remember me?"

"Kokuto...... Senpai?"

I must have been an unexpected visitor for him. He stands dumbfounded for a second and then starts to cry.

"Senpai. Why would you come for me?"

"I came to protect you since Gakuto came and asked me. We're worried that you're in some kind of trouble."

I ask him if I can come closer Keita shakes his head violently.

"I'm not going out of here. I'll be killed if I do."

"You'll be killed if you stay in here too."

Keita's eyes widen. He glares at me with enmity. I take a cigarette out and light it. ... I don't smoke but it's a useful gesture to make you seem relaxed and help the other person calm down.

"I heard about it. You know the killer, right Keita-kun?"

I ask him while exhaling smoke, but he still stays quiet.

"Then I'll just talk to myself for a while. On the night of the 20th, you guys were at your hangout place, the Shinkirou Bar. It was raining that night. I also happened to be out drinking that night, but I guess that doesn't matter. I've heard a lot of stories since Gakuto asked me to look for you. I think I know what you guys were doing on the night of the incident. I don't think the cops know about it yet. Those people prefer not to help the cops."

I shrug saying its troublesome. Keita is showing a different kind of fear now. It's not fear of what is going to happen, but fear of being found out what he's done.

"On the night of the incident, there was one other person beside you guys. The high school girl you guys were threatening. I don't know her name but someone saw her going down to the bar. That girl has not showed up at the police station, or anywhere for that matter, since that incident. But it's not like her corpse was found like the other four. Do you know what happened to her?"

"I don't know... I don't know such a person."

"Then that would make you the killer. I'll go call the police."

"Wait, I didn't do that...! There's no way I could do such a thing..."

"Yeah, I feel the same way. So the girl was really there?"

After a brief silence, Keita nods.

"But that brings another question. That incident is not something a girl can accomplish by herself. Were you guys drugged?"

The boy shakes his head. Not to the question that the girl is the killer, but to the question of whether they were insane or not.

"It's impossible for five guys to be taken out by just one girl."

"But that's the truth...! I thought she was weird from the start, but she was mad! Monster... she was a monster!"

He starts to tremble and covers his face with his hands, I guess he is recalling the incident.

"She was just standing there and everyone started to twist up. I heard their bones breaking and I didn't know what the hell was going on. ... After she killed two of us, I knew Fujino wasn't normal; I knew that I'd be killed if I stayed there!"

Keita's words are certainly abnormal. He is saying that the girl - the one called Fujino - tore off everyone's limbs just by standing there and staring at them. I don't know why he thinks so, but I guess Keita felt it immediately ... the difference between the one doing the killing and the ones getting killed. But... she bends things just by looking at them? I can't quite believe it but I take the fact in. What can I deny after knowing Shiki, the one with killer eyes, and Touko-san, the magus? Well, leaving that aside, there's one word that caught my attention.

"All right. I'll believe that this Fujino girl did it."

"......... Huh?"

Keita raises his head in surprise.

"But... that's a lie. No one would believe such a story! Please, tell me you're lying!"

"Then let's just assume it's a trick, or should I say, "hypnosis" or something? Either way, don't think too hard about it. Don't try to accept what you really don't understand. But... what do you mean she was weird from the start?"

It seems Keita is regaining his sanity. The tension in him starts to fade away.

"It's just she's... weird. It seems like she's acting out everything, like her reactions are always late. She won't change her expression even when Leader threatens her. She won't change even when she's drugged and she won't even show pain when being punched." 

"...... I see."

I knew they were violating Fujino but when he comes out and says that, I'm speechless. That girl called Fujino was violated by them for half a year and killed them as revenge. Is there justice in that, or do "what's just" and "what's lawful" contradict each other in this situation? Well, I don't want to think about it right now.

"So she looked great, but it wasn't fun doing her. It felt like doing a doll. Oh yeah, but that time was different. It's recent but there was this messed up guy in our group. He found her fun because she wouldn't change her expression no matter how much he punched her, so he finally brought out a bat and smacked her across her back. He was like "WHACK!"  and smacked away. She did make a painful face. I felt a bit relieved 'cause I knew she was feeling pain too. I remember it 'cause she was human that night."

"You, shut up for a while."

Keita shuts his mouth. I don't think I can keep my composure if I hear any more of this.

"I get the situation. I know someone in the police so we can go there. That's about the second safest place I know."

I approach him to make him stand up, but Keita jumps back.

"No, I won't go to the cops. Besides... I'll be killed if I go out. I'd rather stay here if I'm going to be torn to pieces!"

"Killed if you go out...?"

It's worded a bit strangely. It seems there's still one big misunderstanding between us. ... I can understand him saying that he'll be found if he goes out. But it's strange for him to skip that and say he's going to be killed. That's like he's being... watched. Then I finally realize what the cell phone by his feet means.

"...... You're getting calls from Asagami Fujino."

Keita starts to tremble once again at those words.

"Does she know of this place yet?"

The boy answers that he doesn't know.

"I had Leader's cell phone when I ran away. She called me after everyone was killed. She said she's going to look for me no matter what! So I have to hide!"

"Why do you still have that cell phone?"

I know the answer but I still ask.

"Because she says she's going to kill me if I get rid of it! She says I should hang on to it if I don't wanna die! She says she's gonna let me go as long as I have this!"

...... What a thing... Her curse is so strong.

"But she still calls me every night. ... She's insane. She saw Shono two days ago, Kouhei yesterday... she said she killed them because they didn't know where I was. And she said kindly that it was good for me! She tells me I should go see her if I don't want my friends killed... no way I can do that!!"

... What kind of fear would that be? The phone calls he receives every night are a messages from the one trying to kill him.
''... I could not find you today.'''
''One of your friends died in your place.''
Come see me if you don't want them killed.
''You don't have to come, but these murders will continue...
''... and I will eventually find you...

"What should I do? I don't wanna die. I don't want to die like that! They were crying in pain! They were coughing up blood and their necks were twisted like nothing!"

"Let's get rid of that phone. Or there will be more victims."

"Don't you get it!? I'm saying I'll be killed if I do that!"

Two innocent people were killed because of that.
Asagami Fujino had to commit two meaningless murders because of that.

"You'll be killed anyway if you stay like this."

I push my cigarette into the ground and start to walk towards him. I forcefully pull on his arm.

"Senpai, please don't do this. I can't do anything now. Please leave me alone... leave me alone...... no, really, I'm scared. I don't wanna be by myself anymore. Please help me...!"

I nod.

"I'll help you. I won't go to the cops. I'll take you to the safest place I know."

The only place that will be able to take him in will be Touko-san's place. Believing that is the best option, I leave the mansion with Keita.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_06|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_08|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 09

2009-04-09T05:13:47Z

61.11.175.146: /* /4 */

===/4===

July 24th. It has been one day since Kokutou Mikiya went to investigate Asagami Fujino. Not much has happened in this time. The only significant events are a big hurricane coming later tonight up to tomorrow morning and a 17 year old driving without a license dying in a collision. At least, that's all that happened publicly. Ryougi Shiki is staring aimlessly outside from Aozaki Touko's office. The summer sky is so huge that one instantly gets weary of looking at it. In the cloudless sky lies the shining sun. It seems like a bad dream that this clear sky is going to be covered by storm clouds later tonight.

Clang! Clang! 

The noise echoes. There is a metal factory beside this office. Since Shiki is beside the window, the noise assaults her ears endlessly. Shiki looks at Touko, who is making a phone call. She's wearing her glasses.

"Yes, that is right. About that accident. ... I see, so he was indeed dead before the collision. Is his cause of death strangulation? That isn't wrong. If the neck has been twisted, it is strangulation.  It does not matter how strongly it was done. How have you people treat this as an accident? A collision, I see... That would seem right. There was only the victim in the car. No detective can solve the mystery of a moving sealed room. No, that's all the information I wanted. Thank you very much. I will repay you for this somehow, Officer Akimi."

Touko sounds very formal and kind. It is so different from her usual tone, which causes people to shiver when they hear it. After hanging up the phone, Touko adjusts her glasses, to sit in front of those emotionless eyes.

"Shiki, the 7th victim appeared. This is more than the killer two years ago."

Shiki walks away from the window, slightly upset. She wanted to see the sky be taken over by dark clouds.

"I told you. It has to be a meaningless murder this time."

"It seems so. Minato Keita doesn't know this Takagi Shouichi guy who died in the accident. This murder has nothing to do with her revenge."

Shiki, who is wearing a white kimono, grits her teeth in anger. She puts on a red leather jacket.

"I see. Then I can't wait any longer. Touko, do you know where she is?"

"Nope. I can guess a few places where she might be hiding. If you're going to look for her, you'll just have to go look at all those places."

Touko takes out a few cards from her desk and throws them at Shiki, who grabs them swiftly.

"... These are... Asagami group's personal identification cards? Who is this Araya Souren guy?"

All three cards are entrance cards to the construction areas which the Asagami construction group is involved in. It must be a magnetic lock since there is a magnetic stripe on each card.

"That alias is the name of one of my acquaintances. I couldn't think of a random name. I used it when I had someone make these ID cards. Well, that doesn't matter. Asagami Fujino should be hiding in one of those places. It'll be troublesome, so finish this off before Kokutou gets back."

Shiki glares at Touko. Her usually hollow eyes sharpen. She directs a silent complaint to Touko but turns around without saying anything. She has the same opinion as Touko . Shiki does not hurry out, but leaves with her usual graceful steps. Now thats she's alone, Touko looks outside the window.

"Looks like Kokutou didn't make it. Well, will a storm come first or will a ''storm'' come first?  Shiki by herself might not make it out alive, Ryougi."

The magus murmurs to no one.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Right after noon, the weather starts to change. The blue sky is now already covered with gray clouds. The wind is getting stronger too. Talk of an incoming storm is exchanged between those walking around.

"Guh......"

I keep walking, holding my burning stomach. I didn't know about the storm. Probably because I was so caught up looking for someone. The town is rowdy but there are fewer and fewer people out on the streets. It looks like I won't be able to do it tonight. I think I should go back for today.

After many hours, I finally reach the port on foot. The sky is already dark even though its still seven in the summertime. A storm can even mess up the usual times of seasons. I move my body, whose reactions are beginning to lag more and more as time goes on, and reach the entrance of the bridge. This bridge is the bridge my father is working hardest on. A big bridge that connects this port and the port on the other side. The bridge is a four-laned road with many pathways beneath it. The underground is like a shopping mall. Even though it is floating on the ocean, I call it "underground" because it's under the bridge. There are guards on the upper part of the bridge, so I can't get in there; but the entrance to the underground mall is unmanned and I can go inside if I have a card. I take out one of the cards that I took from my house and open the door.

... It's dark inside. Even though most of the interior design work is finished, there isn't any electricity running yet. The empty mall seems like a station about to close up for the day. Many different stores straddle the sides of the corridors that seem to stretch on forever. I walk for about 500 meters and end up in a parking lot. This place is still under construction and is really messy. The walls are unfinished and the bags to keep out the rain are making noise in the wind. ...... It's almost eight o'clock. The wind is strong. I want to plug my ears against the sound of the wind and the crashing of the waves. The sound of rain striking the walls is more fierce than the machine guns I see in movies.

"Rain......"

It was raining on that day too. After my first murder, I washed myself off in the rain. After that, I was able to meet that person. That person whom I met only once in middle school and who  I only talked to for a bit.

... Yes, I remember. It was a time when the sun was setting. After an event at school, a Senpai from a different school talked to me, who was still on the field. I could not move because I had sprained my ankle. Since I am pain insensitive, I actually could move and even if I shouldn't move, it had no effect on me mentally. But my swollen ankle was telling me that it would get worse if I moved any more. All I could do was watch the sunset without feeling anything. At that time, I did not call for help. I did not want to call for help. If I did, everyone would tell me...
"You endured quite a bit of pain."
"Does it hurt?"
"Doesn't it hurt?"
"Don't you think it hurts?"
I did not want that. That is why I was sitting down with a normal expression. I was being a bit stubborn not to let anyone notice. My mother, father, teacher, friends... nobody noticed. I had to let everyone think that Fujino was normal. At that time, somebody tapped me on my shoulder. I did not feel it but I heard a sound by my ear. When I turned around, that person was standing there. He looked kind, without knowing what I was thinking. I think my first impression of him was that I did not like him.

"Does it hurt?"

That person greeted me with unbelievable words. How did he know about the wound that nobody should know about? I shook my head. I was being stubborn not to admit it. He looked at the name tag on my gym uniform and said my name. He then felt my sore ankle and made a sour face. I knew he was going to say something I would not like, so I closed my eyes. I did not want to hear insensitive words from people with normal senses such as "does it hurt?" or "is the pain bad?"; But he said something completely different.

"You're stupid. Look, pain is not something you should bear. Pain is something you have to announce, Fujino-chan."

...That is what Senpai told me when I was in middle school. After that, Senpai carried me to the nurse's office and that was that. It was like a vague dream. Come to think of it, Asagami Fujino might have fallen in love with him at that time. That smile that worried about the suffering that nobody else noticed......

Throb.

My stomach aches, rousing me from my dream. There is no way I can be dreaming when I'm covered in people's blood. But... the rain might wash away my impurity. I want to go up to the bridge. The storm is already here. It should be like a spilled bucket, out there on the bridge. I start to get excited. I drag my body, which now feels constant pain, and go up the slope in the parking lot.

Asagami Fujino goes up onto the bridge.
To be soaked in the familiar summer rain.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The big bridge has turned into a shallow lake. The four-lanes of asphalt are covered with rain water and it goes up to one's ankles. The smashing rain comes down at an angle and the wind is raging as if to knock the street lamps down. The sky is dark. The light of the port is far away and unreachable like watching the moon from the ground. Asagami Fujino comes out into this storm. The black uniform blends into the night. She walks soaked in rain, breathing out from her purple lips. When she reaches a street lamp, she meets Death.

"I finally found you, Asagami."

In the sea of the storm, Ryougi Shiki stands dressed in a white kimono. The red leather jacket repels the rain. She is also soaked.

She looks like a ghost.

Shiki and Fujino both stand under the street lamp. There are about ten meters of ground between them. She finds it strange that they can see each other and hear each other through the driving rain, and the raging wind.

"Ryougi...... Shiki."

"You should have just gone back home like I told you. You're a beast that knows only the taste of blood. You enjoy murder."

"...... That is you. I do not enjoy murder."

Fujino, still breathing hard, stares at Shiki.

Hostility. Killing intent.

Fujino quietly covers her face with her left hand. ....Her eyes glare from between her fingers. As if to answer, Shiki raises a knife with her right hand. This is their third meeting. Shiki laughs, thinking of the idiom that "third time's the charm". This Asagami Fujino is more than sufficient to be her target.

"... I feel it. Yes, we are alike.
Yeah...... I can kill you as you are now."

With those words, the two's restraints are completely removed.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_08|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_10|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 09

2009-04-09T05:13:04Z

61.11.175.146: /* /4 */

===/4===

July 24th. It has been one day since Kokutou Mikiya went to investigate Asagami Fujino. Not much has happened in this time. The only significant events are a big hurricane coming later tonight up to tomorrow morning and a 17 year old driving without a license dying in a collision. At least, that's all that happened publicly. Ryohgi Shiki is staring aimlessly outside from Aozaki Touko's office. The summer sky is so huge that one instantly gets weary of looking at it. In the cloudless sky lies the shining sun. It seems like a bad dream that this clear sky is going to be covered by storm clouds later tonight.

Clang! Clang! 

The noise echoes. There is a metal factory beside this office. Since Shiki is beside the window, the noise assaults her ears endlessly. Shiki looks at Touko, who is making a phone call. She's wearing her glasses.

"Yes, that is right. About that accident. ... I see, so he was indeed dead before the collision. Is his cause of death strangulation? That isn't wrong. If the neck has been twisted, it is strangulation.  It does not matter how strongly it was done. How have you people treat this as an accident? A collision, I see... That would seem right. There was only the victim in the car. No detective can solve the mystery of a moving sealed room. No, that's all the information I wanted. Thank you very much. I will repay you for this somehow, Officer Akimi."

Touko sounds very formal and kind. It is so different from her usual tone, which causes people to shiver when they hear it. After hanging up the phone, Touko adjusts her glasses, to sit in front of those emotionless eyes.

"Shiki, the 7th victim appeared. This is more than the killer two years ago."

Shiki walks away from the window, slightly upset. She wanted to see the sky be taken over by dark clouds.

"I told you. It has to be a meaningless murder this time."

"It seems so. Minato Keita doesn't know this Takagi Shouichi guy who died in the accident. This murder has nothing to do with her revenge."

Shiki, who is wearing a white kimono, grits her teeth in anger. She puts on a red leather jacket.

"I see. Then I can't wait any longer. Touko, do you know where she is?"

"Nope. I can guess a few places where she might be hiding. If you're going to look for her, you'll just have to go look at all those places."

Touko takes out a few cards from her desk and throws them at Shiki, who grabs them swiftly.

"... These are... Asagami group's personal identification cards? Who is this Araya Souren guy?"

All three cards are entrance cards to the construction areas which the Asagami construction group is involved in. It must be a magnetic lock since there is a magnetic stripe on each card.

"That alias is the name of one of my acquaintances. I couldn't think of a random name. I used it when I had someone make these ID cards. Well, that doesn't matter. Asagami Fujino should be hiding in one of those places. It'll be troublesome, so finish this off before Kokutou gets back."

Shiki glares at Touko. Her usually hollow eyes sharpen. She directs a silent complaint to Touko but turns around without saying anything. She has the same opinion as Touko . Shiki does not hurry out, but leaves with her usual graceful steps. Now thats she's alone, Touko looks outside the window.

"Looks like Kokutou didn't make it. Well, will a storm come first or will a ''storm'' come first?  Shiki by herself might not make it out alive, Ryougi."

The magus murmurs to no one.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Right after noon, the weather starts to change. The blue sky is now already covered with gray clouds. The wind is getting stronger too. Talk of an incoming storm is exchanged between those walking around.

"Guh......"

I keep walking, holding my burning stomach. I didn't know about the storm. Probably because I was so caught up looking for someone. The town is rowdy but there are fewer and fewer people out on the streets. It looks like I won't be able to do it tonight. I think I should go back for today.

After many hours, I finally reach the port on foot. The sky is already dark even though its still seven in the summertime. A storm can even mess up the usual times of seasons. I move my body, whose reactions are beginning to lag more and more as time goes on, and reach the entrance of the bridge. This bridge is the bridge my father is working hardest on. A big bridge that connects this port and the port on the other side. The bridge is a four-laned road with many pathways beneath it. The underground is like a shopping mall. Even though it is floating on the ocean, I call it "underground" because it's under the bridge. There are guards on the upper part of the bridge, so I can't get in there; but the entrance to the underground mall is unmanned and I can go inside if I have a card. I take out one of the cards that I took from my house and open the door.

... It's dark inside. Even though most of the interior design work is finished, there isn't any electricity running yet. The empty mall seems like a station about to close up for the day. Many different stores straddle the sides of the corridors that seem to stretch on forever. I walk for about 500 meters and end up in a parking lot. This place is still under construction and is really messy. The walls are unfinished and the bags to keep out the rain are making noise in the wind. ...... It's almost eight o'clock. The wind is strong. I want to plug my ears against the sound of the wind and the crashing of the waves. The sound of rain striking the walls is more fierce than the machine guns I see in movies.

"Rain......"

It was raining on that day too. After my first murder, I washed myself off in the rain. After that, I was able to meet that person. That person whom I met only once in middle school and who  I only talked to for a bit.

... Yes, I remember. It was a time when the sun was setting. After an event at school, a Senpai from a different school talked to me, who was still on the field. I could not move because I had sprained my ankle. Since I am pain insensitive, I actually could move and even if I shouldn't move, it had no effect on me mentally. But my swollen ankle was telling me that it would get worse if I moved any more. All I could do was watch the sunset without feeling anything. At that time, I did not call for help. I did not want to call for help. If I did, everyone would tell me...
"You endured quite a bit of pain."
"Does it hurt?"
"Doesn't it hurt?"
"Don't you think it hurts?"
I did not want that. That is why I was sitting down with a normal expression. I was being a bit stubborn not to let anyone notice. My mother, father, teacher, friends... nobody noticed. I had to let everyone think that Fujino was normal. At that time, somebody tapped me on my shoulder. I did not feel it but I heard a sound by my ear. When I turned around, that person was standing there. He looked kind, without knowing what I was thinking. I think my first impression of him was that I did not like him.

"Does it hurt?"

That person greeted me with unbelievable words. How did he know about the wound that nobody should know about? I shook my head. I was being stubborn not to admit it. He looked at the name tag on my gym uniform and said my name. He then felt my sore ankle and made a sour face. I knew he was going to say something I would not like, so I closed my eyes. I did not want to hear insensitive words from people with normal senses such as "does it hurt?" or "is the pain bad?"; But he said something completely different.

"You're stupid. Look, pain is not something you should bear. Pain is something you have to announce, Fujino-chan."

...That is what Senpai told me when I was in middle school. After that, Senpai carried me to the nurse's office and that was that. It was like a vague dream. Come to think of it, Asagami Fujino might have fallen in love with him at that time. That smile that worried about the suffering that nobody else noticed......

Throb.

My stomach aches, rousing me from my dream. There is no way I can be dreaming when I'm covered in people's blood. But... the rain might wash away my impurity. I want to go up to the bridge. The storm is already here. It should be like a spilled bucket, out there on the bridge. I start to get excited. I drag my body, which now feels constant pain, and go up the slope in the parking lot.

Asagami Fujino goes up onto the bridge.
To be soaked in the familiar summer rain.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The big bridge has turned into a shallow lake. The four-lanes of asphalt are covered with rain water and it goes up to one's ankles. The smashing rain comes down at an angle and the wind is raging as if to knock the street lamps down. The sky is dark. The light of the port is far away and unreachable like watching the moon from the ground. Asagami Fujino comes out into this storm. The black uniform blends into the night. She walks soaked in rain, breathing out from her purple lips. When she reaches a street lamp, she meets Death.

"I finally found you, Asagami."

In the sea of the storm, Ryougi Shiki stands dressed in a white kimono. The red leather jacket repels the rain. She is also soaked.

She looks like a ghost.

Shiki and Fujino both stand under the street lamp. There are about ten meters of ground between them. She finds it strange that they can see each other and hear each other through the driving rain, and the raging wind.

"Ryougi...... Shiki."

"You should have just gone back home like I told you. You're a beast that knows only the taste of blood. You enjoy murder."

"...... That is you. I do not enjoy murder."

Fujino, still breathing hard, stares at Shiki.

Hostility. Killing intent.

Fujino quietly covers her face with her left hand. ....Her eyes glare from between her fingers. As if to answer, Shiki raises a knife with her right hand. This is their third meeting. Shiki laughs, thinking of the idiom that "third time's the charm". This Asagami Fujino is more than sufficient to be her target.

"... I feel it. Yes, we are alike.
Yeah...... I can kill you as you are now."

With those words, the two's restraints are completely removed.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_08|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_10|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 04

2009-04-09T05:09:55Z

61.11.175.146: /* 2 */

<noinclude>===Remaining Sense of Pain／===</noinclude>
====2====

After the incident with the unknown girl, I head to my workplace. There is no official name for the place where I work. Its specialty is doll-making, but most of the jobs we get are construction-related. The president, Aozaki Touko, is a woman in her late twenties and she is a weirdo that would buy an abandoned building to make her office. It means that this is not a company, but rather an extension of her hobby. There are many reasons why I decided to work here, but this is my daily life now. I have complaints but I have no troubles. I think I am rather fortunate. There are problems but they are all things I can bear.

... While I'm thinking, I arrive at the building. It is four stories high, and the office is on the fourth floor. This building situated between the residential and the industrial district feels rather empty. It's not that tall, yet it seems to put pressure on the ones looking up to it. There are no elevators, so I go up the stairs.

When I enter the office, I see an unusual person amongst the usual junk scattered about. A girl with sharp eyes wearing a black kimono turns to me. ... The kimono has a fish pattern on it...

"Huh, Shiki? Why are you here at such a place?"

"Sorry that this place is "such a place". It happens to be your workplace, Kokutoh."

Touko-san, who is sitting behind Shiki, glares at me. She is dressed as plainly as always with a cigarette in her mouth. She is wearing black pants with a white shirt, and an earring in one of her ears: orange, of course. I don't know why, but she seems to have this habit of always wearing something orange.

"But you sure are here early today. I told you there are no jobs for a while, so you should show up around noon."

"No, I can't do that."

That's right. My wallet is not allowing me to do that. I feel rather uneasy when the only things in my wallet are my train pass and a telephone card.

"By the way, why is Shiki here?"

"I called for her. I've got something I need her for."

Shiki does not say anything, but rubs her eyes sleepily. ... Was she walking around at night again? ... It's only been about a month since she recovered from her coma. For some reason, we're finding it rather uncomfortable to talk to each other. It seems Shiki does not want to talk so I sit down at my own desk. ...There's nothing to do, so I decide to talk. Fortunately, there is a topic handy.

"Touko-san, did you see the news this morning?"

"You must mean the Broad Bridge. It's not like some foreign country, I don't think Japan needs that big of a bridge."

I recoil at her comment. What she is talking about is a big bridge, about 800 meters long, that is planned to finish construction next year. The town we live in is close to the port. If you drive for about 20 minutes, you can get to the port, but the shape itself is troublesome. To put it simply, there is another side to it. If you look at it on a map, it looks like a crescent moon, and a long roundabout is forced if you want to get from the top to the bottom. The city's construction group teamed up with a big construction company and put into action what they said was the solution to the public complaints. They are building a straight route across the tips of the crescent shape in the form of a bridge. ... Of course, most of the money to build this is coming from our taxes. I think it is a typical case of the government saying they are solving public complaints which did not exist from the start, only resulting in more public complaints. The bridge is also to have museums, aquariums, big parking lots and such, and you can't really tell whether it's a bridge or an amusement park. It was called Baybridge until recently but according to what Touko-san is saying, I guess its name has officially been announced as Broad Bridge. Both Touko-san and I do not like the idea of this bridge.

"But Touko-san, even though you hate the idea, you already have a space in there for your gallery."

"It's not under my will. A person I knew just gave me that space as a payment. I could just sell it off but since I have some relations with the Asagami construction company, I can't just do that. Geez, a place that won't make me money is worthless."

From the way she's talking, she seems to be having trouble with money. I get a really bad feeling.

"Um, I don't want to say this so bluntly, but can I have my pay?"

"Kokutoh, about that... unfortunately, I don't have any money. It's unfortunate, but I'll have to pay you all next month."

Touko-san declares so calmly. She sounds like I'm the bad guy instead.

"Wait a minute! You had 1.12 million yen in the bank yesterday! How could you say it's all gone!?"

Touko-san replies, while rocking on her chair, that it's because she used it all. Shiki is looking at Touko-san with some jealousy. ...Certainly, Touko-san looks like she's having fun in that chair. No, I don't care about that right now.

"What did you use the money on, Touko-san?"

"Oh, what I bought was this boring thing. It's an Ouija board from the Victorian age. I can't expect much out of its effect, but it's not totally worthless because it's over a hundred years old. No matter how uninteresting it is, some mana and a large amount of time will give it some additional value. Well, it still makes no difference that it's useless. If I have to give a reason for buying it, you could say it's part of my hobby."

I just don't understand this person. This person called Aozaki Touko is a magus. I always think how much better it would have been if she was just a magician or something, but that's the truth so I have to accept it. The magus continues her excuse.

"It suddenly appeared on sale, so I bought it on impulse. Don't get so angry. I'm out of money too."

... Don't be angry? That's asking too much. As I have seen many miracles from her, I'd thought this part of her was rather playful, but I cannot be that tolerant today.

"So is that it? I'm not getting paid this month?"

"Yeah. Get some money from somewhere else."

I get up from my seat.

"Then I'm going to go find some money to live off of this month so I'm leaving early. Is that alright?"

"Fine. By the way, Kokutou, I need to ask you a favor."

Touko-san says this in a different tone. Maybe it has to do something with the fact that Shiki is here... I calm down and stop.

"What is it, Touko-san?"

"Can you lend me some money? I'm broke as you can see."

"...... I refuse with all my might."

I close the door hard and leave the office.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

After looking at the conversation between Mikiya and Touko for a while, Shiki finally opens her mouth.

"Touko, about that thing."

"That's right. I don't really like to accept this kind of a job but I won't be able to live without money. ...... Geez, I'm going mad over money when I'm not an Alchemist. This is all because Kokutoh won't lend me any money."

Touko sticks her cigarette into the ashtray saying she's in a bad mood. Shiki thinks Mikiya is probably is in a worse mood than her.

"Well, about that incident last night..."

"I've heard enough. I know what's going on."

"I see...... I only explained to you the scene of the crime, but you already know? You're pretty sharp."

Touko looks meaningfully at Shiki. Touko has only explained the results of the murder that occurred between 7PM and 8PM last night and Shiki is saying she understood what kind of crime it was. This is definite proof that Shiki is a person closer to the world Touko lives in.

"The client has some idea of the killer. Your job is to take the her under your care if possible, but if she happens to fight back even slightly... the client said to kill her."

Shiki nods. The job description is easy. Find the killer, and kill her.

"But what about after that?"

"If you happen to kill her, they will clean it up and treat it as an accident. For the client, she is already socially dead. It is not against the law to kill a dead person. What do you want to do? I think this job rather suits you."

"I don't even need to answer that question."

Saying that, Shiki starts to walk out the office.

"You're in such a hurry. Were you hungry, Shiki?"

Shiki does not answer.

"Here's her picture and her status. What were you going to do without knowing what she looks like?"

Shiki looks at Touko, who throws her the file containing the information. It drops to the floor.

"I don't need it. That killer is definitely of my kind. ... So if we were to meet, we'd try to kill each other at that very instant."

Shiki departs from the office, leaving only the sound of her kimono and a cold glare.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

It can't be helped. After leaving the office, I decide to borrow some money from a friend of mine. We choose to meet at the cafeteria of the college that I quit in June. A bit after noon, Gakuto arrives. He has grown much bigger since high school. When I tell him what I came for, he makes a troubled face.

"I'm surprised. Calling for someone just to borrow money? Are you really Kokutoh Mikiya?"

"Yeah. You're special to me. You should be happy about that."

"Heh, who would be? Besides, why don't you go borrow from your relatives?"

"I haven't seen my parents ever since that fight I got into with them when I dropped out of college. How do you expect me to go back and ask such a thing now?"

"Haha, you're pretty stubborn. Was it a big fight?"

"That has nothing to do with you. So, are you going to lend me some money or not?"

"Hm? You're in a pretty bad mood today."

I glare at him saying that it's none of his business, but Gakuto agrees to lend me some money.

"If I put your name out, I bet I would be able to collect fifty or sixty thousand yen quite quickly... and if you still need more, I could lend you some of my money. But, not for free."

... It seems he also has a favor to ask of me. Gakuto looks around, and makes sure no one is listening.

"Well, to put it simply, I want for you to look for someone. It's one of our underclassmen, but he hasn't returned home. It seems he's been involved in a strange crime."

Gakuto's story is unsettling. The name of the missing underclassman is Minato Keita. He has been missing since last night and Gakuto says that he was a member of the group that was killed last night. Minato Keita contacted one of his friends last night, but it seems he was acting strangely, so that friend went to Gakuto for help.

"Keita was saying something like he was going to be killed. That's the only call he made and he doesn't even answer his cell phone now. According to the guy who talked to him, he was really screwed up."

Screwed up... he must mean drugs... Easy drugs for beginners are cheap and relatively easy to get nowadays. Even a high schooler could get their hands on L if they tried; but they shouldn't be trying in the first place...

"... Hey now. Do you think such a violent world suits me?"

"What are you saying? Looking for people is your specialty."

I grow quiet.

"That guy Keita, does he do drugs?"

"No, the ones who used them were the ones who were killed. Don't you remember Keita? He's one of the kids that liked you."

... During high school, I was liked by some underclassmen for some reason. Maybe because I'm a friend of Gakuto, or something.

"It would make things easier if he were just tripping on a new drug. What kind of drugs do they use? Uppers or Downers?"

There are two types of drugs: Uppers, the ones that make you mentally high and feel good; and Downers, the ones that make you depressed. The one Gakuto names is an Upper.

"It's terrible if he's using drugs to escape his fears. The killer really might be after this kid. Alright, I'll look into this. Tell me about his friends."

Gakuto hands me an address book as if he was ready for me to say so. Having lots of friends is characteristic of the members of that group and it seems he's no exception. Many names with their cell phone numbers; along with each group's hangout place, are written.

"I'll contact you once I find him. I might be able to get him under my protection but you wouldn't care, would you?"

By "protection", I mean handing him over to Daisuke Nii-san, a cop. Gakuto nods, understanding. We reach an agreement. To start off my search, I borrow about twenty thousand yen from him.

After saying goodbye to Gakuto, I decide to go to the murder scene. I feel that I'll have to really try if I'm to find him. Even though I know I shouldn't concern myself in these matters, I also know that this kid is in danger, so I could not decline Gakuto..

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_03|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_05|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 03

2009-04-09T05:06:43Z

61.11.175.146: /* 1 */

<noinclude>===Remaining Sense of Pain／===</noinclude>
====1====

July nears its end and my surroundings have started to fill with all sorts of weird events, like a friend who has been in a coma for two years finally regaining consciousness; like finishing the second big job at my workplace; and like my sister whom I haven't seen for five years coming to see me. The nineteenth summer of me, Kokutou Mikiya, started in such a commotion.

Today was one of my rare days off, but I accompanied my high school friend to go drinking. I noticed I had missed the last train. Others took cabs home, but as my payday is tomorrow, I do not have such extra money. It can't be helped, so I decide to walk home. Fortunately, my house is only two stations away from here. The date has just changed from July 20 to July 21.

Past midnight, I walk through the night town alone. Since tomorrow is a weekday, the shopping district is fast asleep. It rained hard tonight. It had stopped before midnight, but the asphalt still shows signs of the rain as the wet ground makes splashing sounds. It is the middle of summer and the temperature is way above 30 degrees. The hot night air and the humidity from the rain irritates me. I see a girl crouched on the sidewalk. A girl wearing a black school uniform is holding her stomach in pain as she crouches at the guardrail. ... I notice the nun-like uniform. That plain but party dress-like fancy design is of the Reien Ladies' Academy. According to Gakuto, it's really famous to those kinds of people, as they say it's like a maid's outfit. ...It's not that I'm one of those people, but I know because my sister goes there.

"I heard all the students there lived in dorms..."

But to see her here at this time is too strange. She must be in some kind of trouble, or is just a bad student who doesn't follow the school rules. With my sister going to the same school and all, I decide to talk to her. When I call to her, she slowly turns to me and her long hair sways.

".........."

It seems the girl gasped really faintly. She has really long hair. Her eyes look calm and she too looks calm. Her face is small... it's cute but she also has some handsome features. That balance is more like Japanese beauty. Her long hair is cast straight behind her and a small section of it is separated around her ears to drape down to her breast. It seems the left side of her hair has been cut though. Her fringe is cut straight and it reminds me of a good lady from a respected family.

"Yes? What is it?"

The girl asks with a pale face. Her lips are purple. It's obvious she has cyanosis. She has one of her hands on her stomach, her face twisted in pain.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, um... I, um..."

She tries to act calm yet her words are not. The girl looks rather fragile. She gives the impression that she's going to break down any second, just like Shiki when I first met her.

"You're a student of the Reien Academy, right? Did you miss your train? That place is far from here. Do you want me to go get a taxi for you?"

"No, it's all right. I don't have any money."

"Yeah, I don't have any either."

The girl looks at me in surprise. ... I notice that I gave a surprisingly stupid reply.

"I see. Then your house must be near here. I heard everyone there lived in a dorm but I guess you're allowed to go out."

"No, my house is a long way away."

I tilt my head in wonder.

"Then is it something like running away?"

"Yes, I think that is what I have to resort to."

... I'm troubled. Looking at her, the girl is soaked. Maybe she didn't find cover in that rain earlier but she is dripping wet. ... Since that time, I've hated girls wet with rain. That must be why these words came out of my mouth.

"You want to come to my place just for tonight?"

"Can I...?"

Still sitting down, she looks at me as if she's desperate. I nod.

"I live alone, so there's no problem. But I won't make any guarantees. I don't have any bad intentions, but if anything weird happens, I might get "in the mood." I'm a healthy man so take that into consideration too. If you're still okay with that, then come along. Unfortunately, it's before my payday so I can't give you much, but I should at least have some painkillers."

The girl becomes happy. That defenseless and pure smile also makes me happy. When I extend my hands to her, she gracefully gets up.

... It seemed there are red stains where the girl has been sitting...

I take this unknown girl with me and start walking through the night town again.

"We're going to walk a bit, but tell me if you're suffering. I should at least be able to carry a girl on my back."

"Yes, but my wound is healed so it doesn't hurt."

She says so, but her hand is still on her stomach. It's obvious she's in some kind of pain. I ask her again.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

The girl denies it and grows quiet again. We walk a bit more. After a small silence, the girl shakes her head.

"... Yes. It really, really hurts. I'm about to cry... can I cry?"

When I nod, the girl closes her eyes looking satisfied. It looks as if she is watching a dream.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

The girl did not tell me her name so I decide not to tell her mine either. I feel that it's more romantic that way. Once we get to the apartment, the girl says she wants to borrow the shower. She also says she wants to dry her clothes so I decide to stay outside. Giving her a cheap excuse that I'm going to go buy some smokes, I leave the room. I feel that I am really good natured as I'm going out to buy these things that I would not smoke.

After spending about an hour outside and coming back, I find her asleep on the sofa. I set my alarm clock to seven thirty and lie on my bed. As I fall asleep, I worry about the cut in her uniform near her stomach.

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

When I wake up the next morning, the girl is sitting in the living room as she has nothing to do. She gives me a bow once she notices I'm awake.

"Thank you for last night. I cannot do anything in return but I am really thankful."

The girl gets up and starts to leave. ... I feel a bit guilty about making her sit and wait just to say that to me.

"Wait, at least stay and get some breakfast."

The girl obediently follows what I say. The only things left are pasta and olive oil so naturally, our breakfast becomes spaghetti. I quickly make it for the two of us and carry it to the table to eat. Since it's so quiet, I turn on the TV and see a terrible news broadcast.

"... Wow, this is the kind of story Tohko-san would like."

I murmur something aloud, so that if she were here, she would be throwing something at me. ... But that's how weird the contents of the news are. I listen to the newscaster who talks about what happened last night.

Last night, in the basement of a bar that has been abandoned for half a year, four dead bodies were found. It seems all four victims had their limbs torn off and the scene of the crime was soaked in a pool of blood. The place is pretty close to here, maybe around four stations away from last night's place. It's strange that they said the limbs were torn off rather than cut off, but the news does not elaborate much over it, and rather goes into the information on the victims.

All four of the victims were high-schoolers, and they were just kids that played around near that place. It seems they did some drugs too, and a person who the newscaster is interviewing is talking about the victims' personal lives.

......I think they deserved to die, those kids.

Those words flow from the TV and I get annoyed by this speaking ill of the dead, so I turn off the television. Looking at the girl, she is placing her hand painfully on her stomach. Seeing that she hasn't taken a bite of food, she might be really hurt. I can't see her expression as she is looking down.

'...... There's nobody that deserves to die."

She says so with ragged breath.

"Why... I'm healed, so why...?!"

The girl gets up from the chair and runs to the door. I quickly follow her but she raises her hand to stop me. It seems she does not want me to go near her.

"Wait. I think you should calm down."

"It's all right. I knew it... I cannot go back."

Her face twists in pain. The face that bears a pain seems similar to Shiki. The girl calms down and bows at me before she opens the door.

"Good bye. I never want to see you again."

The girl leaves just like that. Her face is that of a Japanese doll, with the exception of her eyes.

They seemed like she was about to cry.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_02|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter03_04|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Talk:Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter04 04

2009-04-09T05:03:31Z

61.11.175.146: /* Kabalist */

==Glossary==

===Balor===
The God of darkness from Celt mythology. He possessed an evil eye that could kill anything by looking upon it. 

===Keter===
The Sephira closest to God on the Sephiroth (the tree of life, not the Final Fantasy 7 Sephiroth). It possesses the meanings of contact point with the divine, source of creation, pure existence, source of life. 

===Kabalist===
Those who follow the medieval Jewish philosophy/religion of Kabala. Kabalists see God as a transcendent existence totally free from 'attributes' of the whole of existence who cannot be seen or felt. From that knowledge, they set down those attributes that connect everything to God. These were the ten Sephira; the thing that was created by applying human perceptions to these was the Sephiroth Tree (Tree of Life).

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter04 04

2009-04-09T05:02:42Z

61.11.175.146: /* /4 */

===/4===

As the usual morning check-up ended, I realised that it was now the 20th. Which meant that it has now been seven days since I woke up. My body has also recovered without a hitch, so I am going to be released tomorrow. The bandages over my two eyes, I will also be able to take them off tomorrow morning. 

Seven days... a week. 

I haven't gained much during this period of time. 

I've lost so many things that I'm not even sure what I've lost. 

My parents, Akitaka, they are probably the same as they were before. But to me, they feel like different people. The fading away of all that once surrounded me is something that can't be helped, since the one called Ryougi Shiki has changed. 

I touch the bandage covering my eyes. 

The only thing I gained in exchange for everything I have lost is this. 

I, who experienced 「death」for two years while still alive. My body has changed so that I can now view such formless concepts. 

The first thing I saw upon waking up from the coma was not the surprised nurse running towards me... it was the line wrapping around her throat. People, walls, even the air itself... there are incredibly fine lines visible on everything. Those lines were always moving and irregular. But I suffered from an obsession with the idea that death would spread out at any moment from those individual concepts and pull me in. I saw a hallucination in which the approaching nurse crumbled into pieces starting from the line in her neck. 

When I understood what those lines were --- I crushed my two eyes with my own hands. 

My hands hadn't moved in two years and just clenching them brought on agonizing pain, but I still moved my arms. Luckily or unluckily, my arms were still weak and I was stopped by the doctors in the process of destroying my eyes. They decided that it was just a sudden impulse brought on by the turbidity of my mind and weren't particularly interested in why I had tried to crush my eyes. 

"Are my eyes --- going to recover soon?" 

I don't want that. That kind of world, I never want to see it again. 

A world where nothing exists. While I was 「there」, I was content and at peace. 

<nowiki>---</nowiki> I can't believe it now. Remembering that world after I woke up I thought about it and there couldn't be anything more pathetic than that world. That darkness, even if it was just a nightmare I dreamt up during my sleep --- I can't stand the thought of falling into that place again. 

And, these two eyes of mine that are connected to that place. 

I bring my fingertips to my eyes. 

After that, all that's left is to stab my eyes with those fingertips as cleanly as if I was swinging a bamboo sword. 

"Just a second, hold up. You give up too quickly." 

Suddenly a noise. 

I turn my senses towards the door. 

The thing that is there is --- what is it? 

Without a sound the someone comes closer, coming right up to the bed where I'm reposed. 

"Is it the 'mystic eyes of death perception'? It's too wasteful to destroy that, Shiki. Especially seeing as anything you can see will be seen even if you ruin your eyes. You see, a curse is something that comes back if you throw it away." 

"Are you --- human?" 

My question provokes a reaction which sounds like somebody trying not to laugh. 

Whoosh, I hear the sound of a lighter being flicked and a flame springing out. 

"I'm a sorceress. I came here to teach you how to use those eyes of yours." 

That familiar female voice... This someone is without a doubt the counsellor. 

"What do you mean, how to use these eyes...?" 

"Well, it will only be a little better than now, but I suppose it's better than nothing. Your mystic eyes that can conceive another's death by just looking are the first since the time of the Celtic gods. Erasing them is too wasteful." 

It's called [[Talk:Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_04#Balor|Balor]]. The lady adds some incomprehensible words. 

"Mystic eyes are normally the result of you bringing about some kind of augmentation effect for your eyes through spiritual surgery. But in your case, I think they came about naturally. An ability you originally had was brought to the fore by the accident. By the sounds of it, it seemed that the child called Shiki was always seeing to the heart of everything." 

... She talks as if she knows. 

Actually, as she said, Shiki had always been gazing at a far-off location. I think that even while looking at a person, she saw not the exterior, but that person's core. 

Although Shiki herself wasn't aware of it. 

"Well, you see, that was definitely a control mechanism Shiki used unconsciously. You shouldn't try to look at exteriors. 

Every object has flaws. The fancy of wishing everything could be taken apart and remade only exists because there's no such thing as a perfect object. 

Your eyes can see those flaws, as if they were a microscope. Your spiritual sight is too strong. You can see those lines that are invisible to us, and that brain of yours that was in contact with death for so long can even understand what they are. In conclusion, you can see death. Not only see it, but you can even touch it. A living organism's lines of death will keep changing position as long as it's alive. The ability to see those lines clearly, there's not much difference between that and mystic eyes that can kill with a look. If you must stab those eyes, I will receive them instead. I will pay you any price you name." 

"... Did you say I will be able to see this even if my eyes can't see? In that case, there's no reason for me to stab them." 

"Well, yes. You can't lead a normal life anyway. Leave your agonizing at that, Ryougi Shiki. Open your eyes a bit. You are originally a human of my kind. If you are --- abandon any dreams you have of living like everyone else." 

"---."

... That one sentence, in some ways it was conclusive. 

But I felt as if I shouldn't accept it for some reason. 

I reply with the strongest rebuttal I can manage at this time. 

"Something as pitiful as an urge to live on --- I don't have any such thing." 

"Heh. Is that because you've emptied your mind? But you don't want to die, do you? Because you've seen that world. Since you've reached a state of realization that not even a [[Talk:Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_04#Keter|Keter]] can reach, you gorged brat. 

Do you understand? Your problem's simple. Okay, you've revived as another person. So what? It's just that SHIKI isn't here. I guess since you and SHIKI were definitely a set, his absence alone would mean that you are a whole different person. Even if you are the very embodiment of Shiki, I understand that you are different from before. 

But what I'm saying is that that's as far as it goes. 

Right now you are desperately rejecting death while you have no will to live. You have no reason to live on, but you fear the thing called death. Life or death - unable to choose either side you are walking a tightrope on the boundary of the two. I suppose it's enough to empty your mind." 

"... You keep chattering away as if you know everything..." 

I glare at the woman. At that moment --- without a hint of doubt, my eyes which should be blind catch sight of the woman's outline and black lines. 

「death」coils out towards me from the woman's lines. 

"Did you see it? It's because there are flaws that they move with just that much contact. In the eyes of the idle spirits here, your body is the perfect vessel. If you don't wake up you are going to be dragged away and killed." 

By that talk of being dragged away and killed, does she mean that white smoke? 

But that doesn't come around here anymore. 

"Idle spirits are nothing more than a part of the soul left behind after death. They don't have a will, so they just wander around. But as they are parts, they keep grouping together to form a whole until they become a ghost. They don't have a will, but basic desires remain. Things like 'I want to return to my former self', or 'I want a human body'. 

A hospital has a lot of idle spirits. They form drifting ghosts and look for a body they can inhabit. Since they are so weak, normal people can't feel them or even come into contact with them. Formless spirits only follow people with paranormal abilities who can perceive them. Sorcerers who make a living out of talking to ghosts protect their egos with a shell, so it's very rare for them to be taken down by a drifting ghost. 

On the other hand --- they will probably latch onto a person with an empty heart, say you for example, pretty easily." 

There is a hint of contempt in her voice as she speaks. 

So, was that why that smoke came to me? If that was the case, why didn't it possess me? If it had tried to become my kernel, I wouldn't have resisted. 

"--- Pathetic. Even the rune's protection is meaningless like this. That's it - as expected, this doesn't suit you. Just do as you will after this." 

After speaking so venomously the lady distanced herself from the bed. 

Just before she shut the door to the room, that lady left behind one last remark. 

"But you know, did SHIKI really die for nothing, Ryougi Shiki?" 

I couldn't reply to that. 

Really --- that lady only touches the subjects I am avoiding and leaves them behind like thorns. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

It's night. 

Darkness surrounds me. Tonight there isn't even the sound of anyone walking through the corridors. 

In the midst of that night which was peaceful as a silent lake deep within a mountain range, I was recalling my conversation with that lady. 

No, just that last undeniable question. 

For what reason did SHIKI die in Shiki's stead? SHIKI isn't here to reply. 

<nowiki>---</nowiki> SHIKI, who is no longer here. 

Exactly why did he disappear? 

What did he disappear in exchange for? 

SHIKI, who liked to dream. 

He was always asleep. But on that night of the rain, he abandoned even that action and died. 

The self I can no longer meet, the self I could never meet in the first place. 

SHIKI, who was always myself. 

My consciousness settles down. 

In an attempt to reach the conclusion he reached I look back through my memories. 

Creak, the door to the room opens. 

Following that slow footsteps approach me. 

Is it a nurse? No, the time is already past midnight. 

If it's a visitor, if could only be --- 

At that moment a human hand wraps around my neck. 

The cold hand squeezes as if to break my neck just like that. 

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Void_Shrine|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_05|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Talk:Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter04 04

2009-04-09T04:58:12Z

61.11.175.146: /* Keter */

==Glossary==

===Balor===
The God of darkness from Celt mythology. He possessed an evil eye that could kill anything by looking upon it. 

===Keter===
The Sephira closest to God on the Sephiroth (the tree of life, not the Final Fantasy 7 Sephiroth). It possesses the meanings of contact point with the divine, source of creation, pure existence, source of life. 

===Kabalist===
Those who follow the medieval Jewish philosophy/religion of Kabala. Kabalists see god as a transcendent existence totally free from 'attributes' of the whole of existence who cannot be seen or felt. From that knowledge, they set down those attributes that connects everything to god. These were the ten Sephira, the thing that was created by applying human perceptions to these was the Sephiroth Tree (Tree of life).

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter04 02

2009-04-09T03:33:33Z

61.11.175.146: /* ／2 */

===／2===

It's now the next day. 

The fact that even I, who can't see, can tell the arrival of the morning is a small but satisfying discovery. Little things like that are a cause for joy. While I wondered why they made me happy, my morning check-up began and ended before I knew it. 

It wasn't very quiet in the afternoon, because my mother and brother came to visit me. Our conversation wasn't very smooth. They felt like strangers to me. With no alternatives, I answered their questions according to Shiki's memories, as a result of which my mother went home with an easy mind. 

Everything was funny because, it seemed like I was acting. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

When evening came around, the counselor showed up. 

The woman who initially introduced herself as a speech therapist was so bright and cheerful that I couldn't see any depth to her personality. 

I've never heard of a case where a doctor greeted a patient with the words "Hi, how have you been?" 

"Oh, I thought you would be all emaciated, but the vibrancy of your skin is no joke. You know, when I first heard your story I pictured something along the lines of a ghost under a cherry tree, so I didn't really feel like coming. But hey, you are a cute young lady along my line of fancy, so it's my lucky day!" 

The woman who I reckon to be in her late twenties, judging by her voice, sits down in the chair next to the bed I'm lying in. 

"Pleased to meet you. I'm the speech therapist who is to help you get over your aphasia. I'm not a resident doctor here, so I don't have any ID, but I guess it won't be a problem since you can't see anyway." 

"--- Aphasia? Me?" 

"Oho."

The doctor goes, after finally getting a reply. I get the feeling she nodded her head as well. 

"There you go, it's normal to show anger. After all, aphasia isn't a very good image and in your case it's a misdiagnosis. Ashika-kun is a textbook doctor so he's a bit weak when it comes to special cases like yours. Even so, you are being naughty. People are getting such misconceptions because you can't be bothered to answer them." 

The woman smiles as if she is great friends with me. --- It was totally my own opinion but I decided then and there that this was a person who wore glasses. 

"So they think I have aphasia." 

"Yeah, since you did hurt your brain in the accident they are wondering if your speech circuits are damaged or something. However that's a misconception, the reason for your silence isn't physiological but psychological isn't it? So it's not aphasia, just you being stubborn. In that case my role isn't needed but it feels bad to be cut off before a minute has passed, and since nothing's happening with my main job I'll play with you for a bit." 

--- This is a useless act of kindness. 

I reach out for the button to call the nurse, but the lady doctor quickly removes it from my reach. 

"... You." 

"Dangerous, dangerous. If you talk to Asika-kun now I'll be kicked out straight away. Anyway, isn't this good? If you pretend to have aphasia, you won't have to reply to useless questions. It's better this way, right?" 

... That's correct. But who is this person that can say such things so boldly? 

I turn my bandaged eyes towards the unknown lady doctor. 

"You are not a doctor, are you?" 

"Nope, I'm a magus as my main job." 

That's so absurd I let out a sigh. 

"I don't have any business with a magician." 

"Ahahaha, that's correct. A mage can't fix that hole in your chest. The only thing that can fill it is a normal person." 

"--- A hole, in my chest ---?" 

"Yeah, you should be feeling it. That you are alone now." 

The lady doctor smothers a laugh and stands up. I can hear her arranging the chairs and her footsteps as she goes out. 

"I think it's still too early, so let's leave it at this for now. I'll come again tomorrow, bye!" 

After appearing so abruptly, she leaves equally as suddenly. 

I touch my lips with the right hand that I have difficulty moving. 

Now... Alone... 

A hole... in my chest... 

--- Oh, how can this be? 

Oh no, I hadn't realized. 

No one. No matter where I call he's not there. The existence called Ryougi SHIKI that existed within Ryougi Shiki has disappeared without a trace. 

Shiki was a dual personality disorder sufferer who possessed another personality within herself. Inside the Ryougi family, children with two personalities were born genetically. That which would be shunned in a normal family was instead celebrated as inherent of a transcendent being, and the bearers were treated as the true heirs of the family. 

... Shiki inherited that blood. It was the reason Shiki surpassed her older brother to become the heir to the Ryougi family. 

But this kind of thing doesn't happen very often. 

Two personalities --- Yang affinity males and Yin affinity females, between those the leadership of the Yang affinity male is usually stronger. Among the few true Ryougi heirs until now, all had been born as men and had female personalities inside. But due to some mistake, Shiki was the reverse of the norm. 

Inside the female Shiki, the male, SHIKI, was included. 

The one with dominance over the body was the female Shiki --- me. 

SHIKI was my ''minus'' face, he contained my suppressed emotions. Shiki grew up suppressing the darkness called SHIKI. Time after time she killed the self called SHIKI and lived pretending to be normal. SHIKI didn't seem to have any complaints about that. After being asleep inside of me he woke up for things like sword training and took charge while complaining as if it was annoying. 

... It might seem like a master/servant relationship but the reality wasn't like that. In the end Shiki and SHIKI are one person, so Shiki's actions are SHIKI's, and SHIKI suppressing his own fancies was also Shiki's wish as well. 

... Yes, SHIKI was a murderer. As far as I know he had no experience at it but, he had a desire within him to kill those beings called humans that were the same organism as him. The dominant personality of Shiki ignored this - in short, she forbade it. 

Shiki and SHIKI were inseparable beings, although they ignored each other. Shiki was lonely but because of the self called SHIKI she wasn't alone. 

But the time came when that relationship would be destroyed. 

Two years ago --- when Shiki was a first year high school student. The season when for the first time SHIKI, who until then hadn't wanted to use the body, had asked to go out of his own volition. 

From there on, Shiki's memory is hazy. 

Right now I can't bring to mind any of Shiki's memories from the beginning of the first year of high school, until I was involved in the accident. 

The thing I remember --- my shape standing at the site of the murder. More than that, there's an image that I can remember even more clearly than that. 

The classroom burning red in the light of the sunset. 

The one who destroyed Shiki, my classmate. 

The boy, that Shiki wanted to kill. 

The piece of normality, that Shiki wanted to protect. 

I got the feeling that I knew this a long time ago. 

But the me that has woken from a long sleep, his name is the one thing I can't yet remember. 

<div style="text-align:center">◇</div>

Night falls, and the hospital grows quiet. 

Only the occasional sound of slippers echoing through the corridors makes me feel that I'm awake. 

Inside the darkness --- no, because I'm in the darkness. The blind me, I take to heart the fact that I'm alone. If I was the previous Shiki, I wouldn't have had this kind of feeling. Shiki, who had another self inside her. But SHIKI no longer exists. No --- I, I don't even know whether I'm Shiki or SHIKI. 

SHIKI had disappeared from inside me. With that alone I recognize myself as Shiki. 

"Hic hic... What kind of contradiction is this. Not knowing which side one is if one side is missing." 

I try talking to myself but the emptiness in my chest doesn't even fill a little. Even just the thought that I am sad would have some change on this emotionless mind of mine. 

I won't be able to know. 

Since I am no one, I can't feel that Ryougi Shiki's memories are really mine. Even if the shell called Ryougi Shiki exists, when the contents are washed away the shell has no meaning. .... Oh it hurts. What must go inside this empty cave? 

"--- I, will, go, in..." 

Suddenly I hear words like that. 

A movement of the air as if a door has opened. 

''It's probably my imagination'' 

I turn my closed eyes that way. 

There's --- something there. 

White smoke is billowing. My eyes that shouldn't be able to see can see the shape of the smoke. The smoke strangely resembled a human. No, it seemed as if a human lacked bones and was swaying in the wind like a sunflower. 

The unpleasant smoke comes straight at me. 

I can't move as I like yet, so I just blankly wait for it. 

Even if this is a ghost, I'm not afraid. 

The really scary things have no shape. No matter how weird something is, if it has form I can't be scared. 

And --- if it is a ghost, the current me may as well be the same. After all there's not much difference between a thing that isn't alive, and me, who has no reason to live. 

The smoke slaps me. 

My whole body and mind go into overdrive. The chill that rakes down my spine is as sharp as a bird's talons. 

It was an unpleasant sensation but I just dumbly sat there and watched. After touching me for an age, the smoke melts like a snail sprinkled with salt. 

The reason is simple. It's been five hours since the smoke started touching me. It will soon be five o'clock. The ghost melted because it's now morning. 

Since I haven't slept, I decide to go to sleep again.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_kyoukai:Chapter04_01|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_03|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>