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Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Interlude3

2017-09-30T19:10:16Z

Aardvark: /* Twitter: ‘#Kuzegawa2ndMiddleBullyingSuicideIncident’ Search */ Brought up to par with final version

==Twitter: ‘#Kuzegawa2ndMiddleBullyingSuicideIncident’ Search==

Konose: “S is a scumbag. Give him the death penalty already.” THYD: “It’s really unnerving.” Mifue: “Logically, it’s already a crime. Death penalty. Death penalty.” Motohana: “I was bullied before, so I have to say that we can’t let such scumbags escape scot free.” Nomura TV: “Kuzegawa Second Middle School Bullying Suicide Incident. S’s Tragic Family Conditions.” Motou-mo “Thinking about how this might me my own kid, I’m really terrified. How could he drive someone else to despair?” Hiinamatssuurii: “This is absolutely unforgivable. Unforgivable.” Kunihiko Fuyuta-Sasatoku Town: “What is education? Why was the devil S born? We should be reflecting on this.” Hahako: “S: Bullying is an invention (LOL). Yes yes, death penalty it is.” Motomachi news: “Bullying suicide incident. What’s happening in the education scene? S’s terrifying methods were?” Matase-☆Mangaka☆ “A photo to remember the dead K by”. Deemon, Yoshitomo East Middle School, “I matched up against the victim K in a match before. He’s unbelievably strong… too bad. S is terrible.” Honohono: “S should be judged! We can’t have a second, or third victim!” Beef rice seller-Tetokon: “Our chairman graduated from this middle school, We hope for the truth to be revealed, and give our blessings to the victim K.” Shiki Kumoto: “As an educator, I really do find this really unsettling. I am inconvenienced to say anything given my viewpoint, but S should be judged, right?” QQQ: “Go die Go die Go die Go die S.” Strawman News: “The content of the W K left behind was heartbreaking, riveting as a civil topic. Hasebe: “The shame of Japan LOL. This Kuzegawa 2nd Middle School Bullying Suicide has gained attention from foreign media.” Kumiko Edomoto (educator): “Considering S incident, there has been an increase in voices calling for more dire punishment.” Popular discussion topic, “Anyone leaving ‘Go and die, S’ will have a kitty pic.” Speed news: “The review on S has been very terrifying.” A certain voice actor: “I’m prepared to be scolded, but S shouldn’t be allowed to live.” Convenience store owner TT: “Remember S. Right now, stationery store giving a 0.05% discount.” Kirikiriblog: “You guys call for S to die, and even after being through many different education scenes, I’m calling for S to die.” Wafu Kimchi Ueda, actor and comedian: “There has to be punishment for all wrongdoing, or rotten people like S are going to increase in numbers.” Nagamasa Mimoto: “Go die, S.” Kurikuri: “Go die, S.” Wahaha: “Go die, S.” Mimura: “Go die, S.” IAmABot “Go die, S.” Tanaka Nakata “Go die, S.” Black Jelly: “Go die, S.” Miso Soup Assault Team: “Go die, S.” Real female voice-bot: “Go die, S.” Kumiko: “Go die, S.” Shigechi “Go die, S.” Anon: “Go die, S.” Born Tsukkomi: “Go die, S.” Mini High School Girl Secret Meeting: “Go die, S.” Amonuu: “Go die, S.”

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Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 9

2017-09-30T19:09:36Z

Aardvark: /* Chapter 9: Revolution Eve */ Brought up to par with final version

==Chapter 9: Revolution Eve==

After about five minutes, Sugawara returned with two cans of cocoa in hand. I was wondering if he would run away, but it seemed he had no such thought. He asked if I preferred the bitter one or the sweeter one, so I chose the sweet one, indicating that I would pay, but he shook his head slightly. It’s strange for a college student to have a middle schooler treat them.

He sat next to me, and pulled the ring tab. He did not speak; surely he was thinking about something.

Both of us sat in a corner of the spacious park, remaining silent; it seemed so weird, so I decided to take the initiative and talk.

“Did Masaya really bully you?”

“Yes,” Taku Sugawara immediately answered. “There’s no proof. Masaya wouldn’t be so stupid as to leave evidence behind.

“Why did he do that much… did you incur his wrath or something?”

“Well, who knows?”

Sugawara coldly answered. I realized then that I asked the wrong question; it might be that I was too eager to figure out the truth, or that I was somewhat biased such that I asked a terrible question.

There was no real reason for the bullies.

“…Is it fine to let me explain myself as I like?”

After a short silence, he said,

“I’ll explain my relationship with Masaya, and why he killed himself. It may take some time, but this will be fine.”

I nodded.

I had to know no matter what, no matter what the truth was.

Again, he repeated to me,

“I don’t know if I can explain this well.”

“I’m not good at explaining this to others.”

“I’m an idiot, completely stupid.”

“So I’m not going to bother with honorifics.”

“And then I hope you’ll find that I’m really stupid.”

“I’d be happy with that. It’ll be as I thought.”

“You can become one with me.”

“So, while describing this with partial truth and partial conjecture,”

“I’ll explain why Masaya killed himself.”

“It was in May, during our second year, when Masaya started bullying me. The bullying wasn’t exactly going overboard over time; he snatched my money, and punched me in the gut. He then ganged with with Ninomiya, Watabe, and Komuro, attacking me while I was on my way home, and beat me up. I took him as a friend, and I was betrayed.”

It seemed Masaya did say that he was a good friend?

“Yeah, we viewed each other as good friends. I had some heart to heart talk with Masaya before. It’s not the type to go out together during the holidays, and we wouldn’t be together during noon break, we wouldn’t send messages to each other, or play games together. But if we met while on the way home, we’ll chat. It probably lasted from Autumn in our first year to Spring in our second year.”

“I had few words, and it was Masaya who kept talking. He grumbled a lot to me, probably because I didn’t belong to any group. He couldn’t just grumble when the Human Power Test was being executed in class, and I thought he wanted to soothe himself by venting his frustrations at me. Personally, I was happy to be able to talk to the genius Masaya.”

“On the way back home, we would share all kinds of things, like our future dreams, the ones we hate and like in class, grumble about our unreasonable parents, unhappy at the overly lax teacher, and the uneasiness that’s taking shape.”

“Sometimes we would skip over to the park, and chat till late at night.”

“Those were really happy days.”

“Every single viewpoint of his was different from me. Whatever I said, he would say, “It’s so typical of you.””

“We were once good friends.”

“But then, during May in our second year, I suddenly got punched. He set me up without anyone else figuring it out.”

““Sorry Taku, you understand, right?” He brought three friends along and whispered this to me.”

“Until I got punched, I didn’t understand at all. No, even after I got punched, I didn’t know what was going on.”

“To the victims, bullying is something unreasonable. I didn’t know the reasons and motives, and I was robbed, blackmailed. I was shocked, not because I was hurt, not because of the money, but Masaya beat me. I thought there was a misunderstanding.”

“I once respected Masaya Kishitani.”

“I also had respect for Ninomiya, Watabe, and Komuro. I knew very well that they’re a lot better than I am.”

“But they continued to bully me, tormenting me in places nobody would have found out. They forced pencils down my stomach, punched me in the stomach, stole my living expenses, and forced me to masturbate; nobody else found out.”

“It was only later that I found other that someone of those three told everyone else to bully Masaya. They created a commotion over the fact that Masaya once spoke to this unimpressive me, and mocked me. Masaya was scared of being left out, and he punched me. I guess they said, ''“So uncool. Don’t make friends with such a disgusting guy,”'' and ''“Punch him. Who are your friends? Us or him?”'' or stuff like that. When the bullying started, that’s what they said.”

“It seemed Masaya had the thought to refuse at first. That’s the feeling I had at first, but he had to succumb to them before his three friends. Soon after, I quickly gave up on that thought. I could tell.”

“For a genius boy, there’s no way he can resist after the first bad thing.”

“He crumbled.”

“He experienced the joy of bullying and dominating others.”

“His talents were such that none of the other three could compare.”

“The leader of the bullying became Masaya. He was always overly calm. My matters were never exposed. He was always able to avoid the situations easily, never leaving any records. Have you wondered if anyone can do such things? Masaya can. He’s a genius, with three outstanding lackeys.”

“The only one figuring out something was amiss was Masaya’s girlfriend, Kotomi Ishikawa. Even so, she only figured it out in October, and she didn’t know the details. Their methods were really perfect.”

“He perfectly controlled everything, not allowing a single mistake.”

“When I intended to talk about this with my teacher in July, Masaya figured it out three times, and beat me up so badly I was puking. The fourth time, II succeeded, but Toguchi-sensei never thought much about it. “You thought too much.” So he chuckled, and wouldn’t pay attention. He’s also scared of Masaya’s mother, and ignored my pleas. Also, I didn’t have any proof; the two recorders I had were broken.”

So when you remained so defiant, did Masaya not feel any danger when he bullied you?

"He’s different from the ordinary ones. It seemed he thought ‘this will cause some larger psychological pressure, and that’s more effective than finding out new targets’ whenever he found a new recorder."

“You know about my family background? I can’t even rely on my parents. I did request my parents to let me ‘transfer schools’, but I was ignored. Masaya knew that my parents showed no care for their son.”

“And then, Masaya knew that I had no friends.”

“It’s a bullying method so terrifying.”

“There’s no proof of bullying, I can tell my teacher has no enthusiasm, and my opponent’s the popular guy with a genius mind, the parent’s the monster parent of a PTA vice president. I could only submit to Masaya.”

“Everyone was my enemy.”

In fact, Katou and Kotomi once said, “There’s no way Masaya could be the bullied.”

“I guessed so. I could only feel despair, that no matter what plan I came up with, Masaya had his friends supporting him, the trust of the guardians, and no proof of bullying; from then, I had no chances of winning. My parents and teacher would help, I didn’t have any friends, and I was dismissed for spouting nonsense.”

“No matter what I did, I was always bullied.”

“You know what? They can’t trust those of low ranking in the Human Power Test. Unlike academic tests, this is a proof of popularity.”

“So I was forced to swallow slugs, lick their shoes, steal my parents’ watches, doused in hot and cold water.”

“Nobody reached out to me.”

“I didn’t know who else I could ask for help.”

Speaking until this point, Sugawara stopped and drank his cocoa, sighing, and went silent. For some reason, his body seemed smaller and weaker than before; his tone inflicting sadness for some strange reason.

What he said was likely to be the truth. I should say that it’s utterly ridiculous for Taku Sugawara alone to dominate four people. My little brother was bullying another classmate heartlessly, planning everything to a terrifyingly perfect setup. I recalled the image of Masaya I saw this summer, and couldn’t help but bite my lips.

The winter winds blew in December, and Masaya’s position just so happened to shield me, but my legs were icy cold. I immediately began to regret coming over in a long skirt instead of pants. Why did Sugawara choose this location?

“Eh, I don’t have any proof at all. I have a receipt of the second recorder, but this might look suspicious instead,” Sugawara noted in a self-depreciating manner.

“At the very least, it’s more convincing than you alone bullying four people.”

“Thanks.”

“But I still don’t understand the real reason as to why Masaya suddenly bullied you. Of course, I know it’s cruel of me to ask this of you.”

“The reason to pick me as a target was simple. I act alone, and it’s easy not to be found out even if I was bullied. In fact, nobody else found out.”

Sugawara patted the chest of his coat, twitched his body slightly, and muttered.

I couldn’t help but ask,

“But you can imagine this? In a certain way, you’re closer to Masaya than anyone else, Sugawara.”

I thought it might be a hyperbole to say that, but I had no intention to correct myself. As Masaya’s good friend, surely he viewed Masaya in a different way from everyone else.

With a hesitant look, Sugawara rubbed his fingers on the edge of the can, and said,

“Peer pressure…”

With a hoarse voice, he said,

“Did Ishikawa mention this? The class has been overly conscious about the Human Power Test, and those with low rankings are basically those who are told ‘I don’t want to get involved with you.’”

“Yeah, she was suffering due to this, right?”

“…It’s not Ishikawa alone who was suffering because of this.”

“Eh?”

“I did say this before right? Masaya was bullied by his three friends, couldn’t refuse, and could only obey them. Even he, that kind of genius, couldn’t fight back against peer pressure.”

“Or I should say,” Sugawara continued on,

“Everyone in class felt pressured due to the human relationships. Of course, I’m still a middle schooler, and even without the Human Power Test, I would feel pressured. The Human Power Test though increased the burden greatly, and crushed the other personalities. With poor grades in that, one’s own existence is basically denied. It forced us to learn how to observe, getting along with others is a must, and the theme was not to break the harmony. Everyone was living in a hell they were being watched in, and there was a tense atmosphere of a survival game of friendships, swords drawn and clashing.”

Taku Sugawara continued on.

“So Shunsuke Ninomiya, Kouji Watabe, Takayoshi Komuro, and Masaya Kishitani had to find a form of entertainment that they wouldn’t be found out. Kotomi Ishikawa was bitter that her boyfriend was hiding something from her, and she started bullying me along with the rest of the class. Kouta Katou himself started to harass Masaya Kishitani—”

“So Masaya Kishitani killed himself,” I said.

“And Taku Sugawara launched his revolution,” Sugawara said.

At this point, our conversation paused for a while.

The middle schooler seated next to me gulped down all of the cocoa.

“Sorry, there’s a little mess in the timeframe, and I described Kouta as a bad guy. That’s not true. He’s just one of the reasons, Masaya definitely had various reasons to commit suicide. Several people harmed him for various reasons. Of course, this included me.”

He calmly smiled.

“I’ll continue on then.”

“After summer vacation, I was robbed of my valuables several times, and tormented over and over again. In October, there wasn’t any improvement, nothing changed. Entering the second semester, dismissal time was earlier, and my bullying time got longer.”

“I went through days of despair.”

“It was a hell I couldn’t escape.”

“And then, at that moment, I, yes, that.”

“I fell in love with Kotomi Ishikawa.”

“Because she smiled at me.”

“I didn’t have any friends, my grades remained far inferior to everyone, and my Human Power Test scores were low. I was labelled trash, betrayed by my good friend, tormented over and over again, and then, she kindly spoke to me.”

“I was really happy. She even said “I’m envious of you.” It defied reality, but I really felt happier than ever. Such a tragic person like me was actually envied. Someone actually acknowledged me.”

“That night, I cried alone.”

“After that, I had several times to meet her. She told me things I didn’t know of, the peer pressure of being isolated.”

“So I finally realized that Masaya and the others had the same predicament. They bullied me to keep living in the suffocating classroom. Ishikawa and Masaya were suffering, and kept struggling.”

“Before that rubbish dump, I saw Ishikawa crying due to the peer pressure she suffered. My heart was breaking.”

“I felt an emotion, close to rage.”

“So I decided to start the revolution.”

“Being at the bottom of the Human Power Test left me happy. No matter how much others looked down on me, I decided to become trash that could protect what I believed in, not knowing how to observe others.”

“I decided to fight back against Masaya, and end the bullying. I wanted my own happiness, for everyone else to be happy. I decided to end the endless hell of bullying Masaya single-handedly came up with.”

“Of course, it’s an utterly foolish thought.”

“But this was all I could only do.”

“Naturally, I had no chance of winning with common sense in the face of Masaya’s thoroughly planned bullying.”

“As I had said, his bullying methods were so perfect. First, I didn’t have the help of my teacher and my parents, and even if I did ask the other teachers for help, trust-wise, I lose out to Masaya and the others. Also, Masaya was very wary of me talking to the teachers alone, or eavesdropping on the bullying scenes.”

“And even if I did succeed in reporting, I had to face that yapping mother. Nobody in class noticed that I got bullied, and those guys were all adored by my classmates. My words would only be nonsense. Even if I did complain through the internet or MEXT and cook up the fuss, nobody in school would admit to the bullying, and it’d be all for nothing.”

“But even so, I had to keep on fighting.”

“I had to start the revolution.”

“‘There was only one plan I thought of.”

“It would be to use his plan thoroughly against him.”

“So I went with the opposite action. First, I posted something shocking on the internet about the bullying, like '''“In Kuzegawa Second Middle School, there was a student who bullied four others,”''' and I wrote it in detail.”

“Many on the internet enjoy themselves through bullying, and there wouldn’t be as much fun if nobody killed themselves. But then, some immediately called the school to protest, ''“There’s a bullying incident in school, and your school isn’t going to do anything about it?”'' or ''“Who allows their kids to study in that school?”''”

“Of course, it did seem that some suspected “Four people bullied one instead,” or “He’s using the internet to continue with the bullying.” That’s not important though. Once news spread in the school, I used the water bottle to beat Masaya up.”

“Masaya probably predicted that I would lose control emotionally. After long periods of vicious abuse, I would explode one day. In such a situation, his fiery mother would come to school, interrogate the lethargic teacher who insisted that there were no witnesses to the bullying, that it’s a student with some psychosis issue playing his own act, to calm things down.”

“My plan proceeded successfully, so successfully that even I felt it was weird. I pretended to act arrogant, and had everyone have the worst impression of me. The school started receiving lots of protest calls in regards to the bullying, and the aftereffects kept burning. I was etched with the moniker of the devil.”

“And as Masaya’s mother hoped, I was heavily punished. They exceeded my initial expectations greatly, and had me persecuted by everyone else.”

So the punishment was suggested by mom?

“I was the one who laughed, ''“You want to punish me by making me kneel in school?”'' and I added, ''“Bullying is an invention that crosses through civilizations,”'' but this was just imitating what Masaya did. Anyway, all I did was a little taunt, and she fell for it. Masaya and the others wanted to continue tormenting me, so I kept on leading them. Takayoshi even pretended to cry. All I did was to diminish Masaya’s mother, and they easily got baited. Then, I was finally forced to parade around and kneel.”

“It was chaotic, but Masaya and the others weren’t unhappy with what happened till this point. Some parts were a little different, but it progressed as I planned. After that incident, Taku Sugawara was viewed as a bully not worthy to be pitied, and the true identities of the bullies were never revealed. After that, Taku Sugawara was severely punished.”

“But things were proceeding too well.”

“I chose to become the bad guy. This action was way beyond their expectations, and it got out of hand.”

“Before knowing what was actually written in the post, ''“I wrote it,”'' I just admitted that.”

“The original conclusion of ‘Taku Sugawara is suffering from mental disorder’ ended up being ‘Taku Sugawara is the bully’ because of that post and my testimony.”

“That was in my plan too.”

“Masaya was probably the only one who figured this out, but at this point, there was no turning back. He could not discuss this with the other three, and they were forced to admit that they were bullied before their parents and the teachers.”

“And so, it was finally my moment to counter.”

“Slowly, I drove Masaya and the others to despair.”

“To a middle schooler, ‘being bullied’ has a negative vibe to it. Aren’t some people unwilling to admit that they were bullied? It’s not just that they’re scared of further retribution from the bullies; most importantly, “I got bullied, and asked the teachers and my parents for help,” by admitting that, they made themselves look more pathetic. It’s not a proud thing.”

“But as I kneeled down before everyone, I got the entire school to know.”

“They were saying stuff like ‘It’s one vs four, and they got dominated by the unimpressive guy in class, trembling before him,’ or ‘they’re so active and amazing in the clubs, yet they’re just embarrassing dudes who got bullied.’”

“Stupid pride? Maybe. But middle schoolers are all like this trying to act cool. No matter what others say, for guys, being bullied is undoubtedly a humiliation, and furthermore, it’s the guy who they bullied in the first place.”

“Through my kneeling, I declared to everyone the predicament of Masaya and the others. They could only ask the teachers and parents for help.”

“Surely everyone else would be shocked to learn that their respected seniors and friends were actually being secretly bullied.”

“But Masaya and the others could no longer say ''“We’re the ones who got bullied”''. If they did, the commotion triggered in school would end up being their fault, and their sins would be revealed to all. They subjected me to extremely cruel punishment, and they never imagined the punishment being inflicted on them.”

“While they were feeling frustrated, I visited their houses a few times, pretending to apologize for my actions, and kept taunting them. I got their parents fuming, raising the matter way beyond, and drove them to despair.”

“I thought I would collapse.”

“But I continued to kneel before everyone. I nearly crumbled, but I endured. Even though I got beaten by their parents and kicked by my classmates, I would never give up.”

“I continued to spread this falsified truth, while being an enemy to the entire school, and enduring the humiliation.”

So everyone believed you? It’s not weird for others to doubt you, right?

“Probably, but that’s not important. To those suspicious, “Masaya and others are cruel beings who subjected me to bullying, and shifted the blame onto the victim.” The kneeling before everyone had such a great effect, but only a few suspected.”

Why? Only the adults saw your arrogance and the four of them whimpering. Logically, the other students should be feeling suspicious.

“Because there’s valid proof.”

Proof?

“The bruise. There’s a severe bruise on Masaya’s face. That’s why many believed. I beat him up with the water bottle. Surely he looked like the victim there.”

“So I ended up becoming the cold-hearted trash who dominated my four classmates, and they ended up being shameful brats who got dominated by one boy.”

“Peer pressure.”

“Thanks to the Human Power Test, the approval of others became all the more important, and classmates would start to grade one another.”

“They definitely couldn’t accept it. Pitied by their parents, classmates, and girlfriend, “it hurts, doesn’t it? Sorry for not noticing it.” And they’d be consoled. They’re the popular ones at school, but their prides would surely be damaged. Once they saw how cruel a punishment I was subjected, they couldn’t say ''“We’re the bullies.”''”

“To their seniors and juniors, they were bullied by an ugly, uncharismatic guy even though it’s four vs one, forced to eat slugs, apologized to by their parents, and carefully treated by their friends.”

“Their rankings in the Human Power Test would definitely drop, probably with some sympathy votes here and there. However, the bullying victims had no leadership skills and charisma. It might sound pitiful, but that’s the cruel rule set amongst us. The adoration from before had vanished, their rankings dropped, and their self-worth would drop.”

“They were the real bullies, but for some reason, the school viewed Taku Sugawara as the victim.”

“Just like that, I drove them to despair.”

“Two days after that incident, Masaya once came to be to reconcile, but I had no intention to forgive him. I still had hatred against them, and if I easily forgave them, they might regain the same attitude again.”

“During that time, I hardly got any bullying from Masaya and the others. Luckily, due to the mistaken justice everyone else had, I was able to stay away from them. Masaya and the others were deemed to be the victims, and naturally, there was no way they could be looking for me, since that itself would have been suspicious.”

It seemed Masaya did go look for the teacher to talk it out.

“I knew. I didn’t know what it was about, but Toguchi-sensei is a spineless bastard, and just casually threatened me, ''“If this doesn’t end well, Kishitani’s mother is going to be really scary.”'' Toguchi-sensei definitely ignored Masaya’s words, and for him, the best way to end this is to think of me as the villain.”

“I had been taunting their parents every day, angering them, and gave them no room to relax at home. There was no way they could say to their parents, ''“actually, we’re the bullies,”'' when their parents were already on their side.”

“The situation was completely reversed.”

“The spineless teacher ignored me, and the popular guys in class were suddenly pitied, doted by their overbearing parents like kids, and no proof of bullying, so they couldn’t regain their prides.”

“However.”

“I thought I overdid it.”

“Because I’m trash, having ignored the atmosphere in the classroom.”

“And I ignored Masaya’s feelings.”

“I didn’t know how to hold back, and couldn’t determine their actions.”

“That’s why Masaya killed himself.”

“I don’t know if you’re willing to believe me, but back then, I was wondering if I should forgive them. I was thinking if I should pretend that the kneeling never happened, that I could continue to go out with Masaya and the others like normal friends again, gather at some place to play video games, drop by at a fast food restaurant on the way home, chit chat about the girls we like.”

“You probably think that I’m stupid.”

“But I was serious.”

“Or rather, that was the compromise Masaya could only do. If he kept it up, even if the kneeling ended, the impression of him being the bullied wouldn’t vanish, and the fact that he's terrified to tears of the unimpressive guy called Taku Sugawara wouldn’t vanish. However, he couldn’t bully me openly, for surely someone would figure out that my testimony was a lie. It was already suspicious to begin with.”

“The only thing he could do was to act all chummy with me in public and change his image; to put everything in the past and be good friends with me again.”

“At the very least, that was what I thought.”

“To avoid having them bully me again, once Masaya and the rest learned their lesson, I intended to propose this.”

“For example, ''“if you make fun of me in class, I’m going to make fun of you in class, and everyone gets to laugh, forget about that, and think that we made up.”''”

“Masaya’s popular, and I was the guy everyone in class feared.”

“As long as we worked together, surely we would succeed.”

“That we would create a class where the popular ones and the unpopular ones could laugh together.”

“It might be a shallow wish, but that was my ideal revolution.”

“Even if it didn’t succeed, as long as I didn’t get bullied, I would be happy.”

“I wanted my own happiness.”

“I didn’t want to be bullied again.”

“I wanted to go home together with Masaya, just like before.”

“Even if I couldn’t be Ishikawa’s boyfriend, it was fine as long as I could ease her burden.”

“I suppose something amiss happened after the incident. Only two to three weeks later did I realize it, probably the moment when I stopped kneeling before everyone and went about visiting Masaya and everyone else’s house.”

“Back then, I was bullied in class. The guys were terrified of me, and they didn’t bully me, but a group of girls led by Tsuda intended to take revenge on me. To be honest, I thought it was the toughest part to deal with. It’s really stupid.”

Kotomi said that it was punishment. Of course, part of the reason she did that was to gain Masaya’s approval.

“And so Ishikawa couldn’t ignore the looks from others, but at the very least, she was self-aware. The other girls prided themselves as hero, or went along with the class, and threw my stuff into the dustbin.”

“But this was another reason that drove Masaya to despair. It’s immature, but guys hate having girls protect them. This action led to another situation. Some of the boys ended up looking down on Masaya, that he was bullied and beaten up by someone like Taku Sugawara, protected by the monster parent and the girls in class.”

Was Masaya the center target again?

“Eh, he’s the most popular of the four, so some did feel envy, since the girls only cared about Masaya. The one most involved should be Kouta Katou, I guess. He already had lots of envy directed at Masaya.”

“Of course, he didn’t do anything too obvious. After the incident, the most he did was to spill ink onto Masaya’s notebook. Right, he did that. I’ll tell you his address later, so you may visit him later. He thought that I had proof on hand, so he’ll definitely admit it. Other than that, there’s nothing obvious he did. The school was sensitive to bullying at that point.”

“But I sensed this atmosphere. The petty tricks were heinous, hard to detect, but they were there. They were laughing at Masaya behind the back, for being bullied by someone like me.”

“And that’s why Katou spilled the beans to the media outlets, “I don’t know anything,” “Taku Sugawara is weird.” He’s scared of retribution, and that’s why he went about spreading the news.”

“Of course, it wasn’t just Katou alone who caused this. Others were involved too. Jun Niwa and Konoha Harada both despised Masaya, while Nanoe Hada, Yuki Kunimoto, and Kana Mori pitied Masaya.

“I was too shallow.”

“I lacked imagination.”

“So anyway, many people hurt Masaya’s pride, way more than I expected. Masaya was crushed by the peer pressure. Later on, I noticed that he was acting weirdly, but it was already too late.”

“I was isolated from him, unable to do anything.”

“He was already mentally scarred beyond repair.”

“The popular guy in class with outstanding grades sank into the sense of superiority when he bullied me without anyone else noticing. He then got pitied by the people around him, became the one to protect for the girls, looked down upon by the boys, saw me grinning away while I was the one bullied, and ignored by the teachers. It was no wonder his ranking in the Human Power Test fell.”

“Also, he had excessive concern from his mother, always questioned about his situation in school like a kid entering kindergarten, and this damaged the pride a middle schooler should have. With the parent showing up every day at school to ‘Watch if there’s any bullying at school’, it was basically humiliating him, and even his girlfriend, who would be consoling him, was pitying and worrying about him.”

“But at this point, he couldn’t say that he was the bully, and that meant having to endure the pity and discrimination in school and at home. “I saw that guy who kneeled down. Doesn’t look impressive,” The seniors were mocking him with that, “Leave Sugawara’s punishment to us,” while the juniors were being all arrogant.”

“His intense pride couldn’t allow for all that, but there was no one he could discuss this with.”

“By my deduction, it was out of impulse.”

“Masaya had nowhere to go, and was frustrated by his overly worried and protective girlfriend, so he impulsively pushed her. He had no intention of hurting her, but she just so happened to be by the stairs. He felt an unbearable sense of self-loathing, and feared retribution when his girlfriend recovered.”

“And that’s why he finally made that decision.”

“To take revenge on me.”

“To do the one final move.”

“To kill himself.”

“He silenced the other three, and chose to commit suicide. At the same time, I became the one enemy to all of Japan.”

“"Taku Sugawara is the devil. Nobody should believe his words."”

“Even the will was well planned, and after leaving those words behind, he killed himself. Of course, I couldn’t defend myself.”

“The greatest bomb left behind by that genius was to let those who read the will be terrified of me.”

“He created this world, I distorted it, and he overturned it on me again.”

“He gave up his life.”

“Of course, I don’t need to explain what happened later. I became the lowlife who drove my classmate to despair through bullying.”

“Part of this is my imagination, but this is all I know.”

“Masaya and the others bullied me hard through thorough planning. To end the bullying and destroy the Human Power Test, I launched the revolution. It went well, but it damaged Masaya’s pride, and drove him to despair.”

“To summarize everything, there’s only one conclusion.”

“I can’t laugh with him again.”

“I can’t get happiness.”

“Masaya’s dead.”

After that, both of us went silent, sitting on the bench without moving.

I stared at the park I played at with Masaya, and pondered over the relationship between Taku Sugawara and Masaya.

What sin did he commit? He was the reason why Masaya killed himself. In the name of revolution, he kept torturing Masaya. However, considering what Masaya and the others did, it might seem like nothing much. From his perspective, he was just defending himself from the bullies. Was there any other way? In the world Masaya created, there was a way to fight back against Masaya. It was a plan to destroy the devil’s plot.

A certain critic once said, “The exclusive news showing up on the internet is very surreal.”

The reason was simple. Sugawara basically wrote down what Masaya and the others did to him.

He might have been forced to eat pencils, been beaten up, had his pocket money stolen, and doused in hot and cold water.

The other three, Ninomiya, Komuro, and Watabe insisted not to reveal the details, for they feared slipping up, that their acts would be discovered. Though they had beautified this as ‘friendship’

One of them should be the one who attacked me.

He attacked me because of Sayo’s call.

(So Masaya deserved his demise?)

Was this the conclusion? How’s that possible?

However, there was no flaw to be found in Sugawara’s words. It’s a lot more convincing than the illogical saying that a person dominated four.

“It matches… with most of the intel I collected.”

I tried my best to eek these words.

Sugawara shook his head.

“You can believe whatever you want, Sanae. I don’t have proof saying that I was the bullied, but there’s no proof to say that Masaya and the others were bullied.”

“Ishikawa told me her deduction. She said Ninomiya, Watabe, and Komuro bullied Masaya and Sugawara.”

“That’s stupid. In that case, Masaya’s will wouldn’t have my name on it. That guy’s world is always full of blind spots.”

“So is what you say the truth, Sugawara?”

With a vacant look, Sugawara ignored these words, and diverted the topic to a completely different direction.

“…How’s Masaya like to you, Sanae?”

He suddenly started with an unrelated question.

I didn’t know the intent behind that question, but he gave me a sharp, harsh look, and I felt an invisible pressure weighing on me.

“An outstanding little brother,” I answered. “That’s what everyone said about him during this incident, but he’s really smart, definitely doesn’t look like he’s seven years younger than me. Mom wouldn’t leave Masaya alone at all.”

“…”

“She even ended up becoming a monster parent. Of course, this isn’t right, but it’s really because Masaya’s really outstanding. He didn’t stand out during elementary school, but once he got to middle school, his talents started to show. He’s top for academics, chosen as a starter for his sports club, and only then did I realize that he’s a real genius. Even when I was beginning to prepare for my college exams, Mom just kept cheering him on.”

“And that’s when you cut up Masaya’s gym clothes?”

Sugawara interrupted me.

I turned around to glare at me, his eyes widened, the grim expression emitting a terrifying presence.

At that moment, I couldn’t breathe as normal; I tried drinking the cocoa to calm myself down, but I realized the can had already fallen to the ground.

“Hey, I did say it before, right? Before Masaya bullied me, I heard him voice lots of frustrations. You know what he said? Most of it was about his family, that his sister returning home would be rough on him, that his mother has exceeding expectations on him, all about that.”

The middle schooler next to me stood up before me. I wanted to back away, but the hard back of the bench was behind me, and I had nowhere to go.

The forceful glare was right on me.

“Reason for the bullying? Do I still have to say it? Peer pressure at school, and the twisted expectations and jealousy at home. There was nowhere for Masaya to escape, so he bullied me; only by bullying was he able to feel solace. You say this is just me guessing? Think about it then! Did Masaya discuss this with you before? Did he ask you for help? Did he leave a will for you?”

“No…”

“Nobody in our class is able to cut up his gym clothes without him knowing! I can tell that it’s you the family that doomed Masaya, old hag! You tooted Masaya’s horn and gave him so many expectations; are you making him a pet!? Talking about college everyday!? That’ll only increase the pressure on Masaya!”

Saying that, Masaya took out the smartphone from his chest. It’s shining, in the middle of a call. The one on the other end must be mom.

Sugawara had Mom listen to everything!

He probably did it when he went off to buy the cocoa.

I intended to defend myself, but I couldn’t say anything.

“Mom’s trash, sister’s trash. Are your actions just for self-satisfaction!? Do you feel guilt over Masaya’s death? Are you trying to redeem yourself? Or are you trying to gain your mom’s love!? That’s what Masaya hated most about you! “You’re annoying!” That’s what he always said!”

“I said that’s not it…”

“Stop lying already! This is the ‘truth’ you’re scared of, right!? Stop playing dumb! You only care about yourself! I’ll tell you this, the ones who made Masaya suffer most are you two! The Human Power Test did cause him much pressure, but he was basically just complaining about you family! That’s why he chose to bully me! And killed himself! The root of the cause is you the rotten family!”

No, that’s not it.

I had an impulse to refute immediately, “How did he know?” but at the same time, I had this contradicting thought, and finally understood why Kotomi had interest in Sugawara. The words he said would bring about fear, the urge to resist, and yet the urge to admit to everything.

My motives to investigate this matter were down to these two points. One was to make up for my useless self, and the other was the desire to gain Mom’s recognition.

This definitely was the truth I was scared to face, for I had a vague feeling that the ones who drove Masaya to despair were us—

I couldn’t defend myself. At this moment, he brought the cellphone to his lips; it was probably in speaker mode before this, and with a gruff tone, he said to Mom,

“Hey, Masaya’s mother, what do you intend to do? You simpleton, you got baited by my taunt, and started some weird group, right? Are you going to ignore my testimony, and continue to pretend that you aren’t involved? I intend to fight until the very end. Thank your daughter for collecting testimonies everywhere. Or are you going to retract your words? “I thought Taku Sugawara is the bad one, but Masaya’s the real bully. I’m sorry,” Try saying that!”

With a deep voice, he hissed,

“If you aren’t willing to do anything, kill yourself. Relax. You received the rope in the morning, right? I tied it up for you. You can hang yourself off the ceiling at home, just like your son.”

Sugawara took off the earphones from his phone.

Mom’s shrieking could be heard immediately. I had never heard such a mad shriek before. She appeared to be trying to say something, but they were no longer words, just mad ramblings.

Mom probably had been wondering how Sugawara could drive Masaya to despair.

She probably never expected that it was herself who caused Masaya to turn out this way, one of the reasons why Masaya killed himself.

And with a kind tone, Taku Sugawara said to the phone,

“If not—you can look at that rope and think of what to do.”

He showed the smirk of evil from before, the expression so unlike a middle schooler.

Masaya might have been the devil, but Taku Sugawara himself—

“You planned everything, didn’t you?” I yelled. With much determination, I strove not to give up on the investigations. “Mom set up the organization to wipe you out, until there’s no turning back. You hid the truth from us, right? You even sent us the cat carcass to taunt us, didn’t you?”

I shoved him aside and stood up, growling from the bottom of my heart. However, Sugawara didn’t seem to care, merely looking at the scenery afar as he gave me a gloomy look. Then, he merely said,

“You’re not going home yet? Then, are you going to let your mother die?”

The next moment, I was running away.

Mom!

Tears blurred my eyes before I knew it as I dashed back home at full speed.

What did I do wrong, exactly?

I did my best to act the part! Even though it’s lacking in love, I still gritted my teeth to endure my heart breaking inside; I wanted to be a kind older sister!

I did cut up Masaya’s gym clothes. I did beat up the brother seven years younger than me. I was so jealous and spiteful towards him. I never had any expectations placed on me, and vented my frustrations on my brother, who had the expectations on him. I could no longer hide the fact that I was a ‘flawed older sister.’

Mom! Mom! Mom!

I called out for the one person most important to me on this world.

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Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:LINE

2017-09-30T19:07:08Z

Aardvark: Brought up to par with final version

==LINE: Group of Class 2-1☆ December 16th – 18:25==

—Kanda Setoguchi joined invited Taku Sugawara into the chat—

—Taku Sugawara has joined the chat—

Ayaka: Go die already, Sugawara.

Konoha: Die.

Hanaka: Go kill yourself. Die die die.

Sunuu: What are you saying now? That’s disgusting.

Morii: Ahh, it’s because of you that we’re even bombarded on the internet.

Morii: That we as classmates ignored the bullying. You can go ahead and die.

Kouta: How’s Kotomi doing now?

Kouta: Still in a coma?

Honoka: Probably. If she’s still in a coma, Sugawara’s really trash.

Taku Sugawara: Did you blackmail Masa with something?

Jun: Probably? How’s that disgusting creep capable of killing Masa then?

Yuki: You killed our friend. Don’t think we’re going to let you off.

Youki: Say something already, Kouji, you guys.

Ayaka: Not now.

Sunuu: They already deleted their accounts. Couldn’t contact them.

Honoka: Shunsuke should still be in the room, just not talking.

Honoka: Say something already, Sugawara.

Taku Sugawara: So, you got me to join…

Taku Sugawara: What?

Hanae Lala: Die. “What?” To hell with that.

Jun: Kill yourself right now, you murderer.

Nanoe: Die.

Miharu Furuta: Just die already.

Taku Sugawara: Hey, why wasn’t Masaya saved?

Ayaka: Haaa?

Sunuu: Don’t get you.

Ayaka: Die die die die die die die.

Taku Sugawara: Answer me.

Kanda Setoguchi: Hm? Why do we have to answer you?

Konoha: Don’t get cocky here.

Taku Sugawara: Why did Masaya die? Nobody else knows?

Hanae Lala: Murder, just shuuuuuuttttttttt upppppppppp

Yuki: Answer me (haah) trying to act cool there LMAO.

Morri: Just kill yourself right now.

Taku Sugawara: Ahh, I see. A bunch of idiots you guys are, so no wonder none of you answer my question. Masaya killed himself, and you just keep going ‘die’.

Konoha: You’re the dumb one. How much did you get for your English?

Jun: Just to ask, what’s your rank for the Human Power Test? You’re a loner with social disorder.

Taku Sugawara: None of you guys figured out the truth. You guys don’t want to face the cruel truth, just repeating the same scolding. A bunch of retards, the lot of you.

Ayaka: Go to the hospital already.

Youki: And kill yourself.

Sunuu: Masaya killed himself because of your bullying. That’s what Masaya wrote on his will. Why is it our fault now? Are you mentally retarded?

Kanda Setoguchi: It’s because someone like you doesn’t understand ‘friendship’, Sugawara.

Taku Sugawara: I know, it means corporal punishment executed in groups, through words, right?

Kanda Setoguchi: You’re wrong.

Taku Sugawara: What’s wrong with that?

Taku Sugawara: Masaya died, and you guys just didn’t know the reasons while scolding me. I want to ask you guys, do you know what ‘friendship’ is?

Taku Sugawara: If you want to talk about how friendship is so amazing, don’t use it as an excuse to attack others and use it as a reason to validate your actions. It’s just annoying.

Hanae Lala: Shut up. Die.

Ayaka: Hey, can we provide all these to the media?

Ayaka: And broadcast through all of Japan lololol.

Yuki: Sugawara recording (LOL).

Jun: So cool, senpai ROFL.

Hanae Lala: Anyway, go die already, Sugawara. Soak yourself in hot water and die three minutes later.

Shunsuke: Kill yourself.

Honoka: Shunsuuukkkkeee!!!

Kanda Setoguchi: It’s been a while.

Ayaka: Ahh! You feeling alright!?

Shunsuke: Look, Sugawara, I was always scared of you, but now I got the guts to say this.

Shunsuke: Kill yourself right now. Please understand.

Shunsuke: It’s not just this class. The whole of Japan wants you to die.

Shunsuke: This is the biggest happiness to Japan, justice.

Shunsuke: Kill yourself for everyone’s happiness.

Sunuu: So cool, Shunsuke! I agree!

Jun: Well said there.

Youki: KYS! KYS!

Kouta: Kill yourself right now! Die die die die!

Ayaka: I’m in love with you, Shunsuke. Go kill yourself, Sugawara.

Lala Hanae: Go kill yourself, Sugawara. Die for our happiness.

Taku Sugawara: So you finally showed up… I’ve been wanting to settle this with you, Ninomiya.

Shunsuke: Strange. I’m the same here.

Taku Sugawara: And so,

Taku Sugawara: You guys haven’t noticed?

Shunsuke: What?

Taku Sugawara: Haven’t you guys been asking me? “Why did Masaya die?”

Taku Sugawara: Hey, you guys really think “Taku Sugawara can really drive Masaya to despair alone”?

Shunsuke: Shut up. Stop talking.

Taku Sugawara: Ninomiya, what are you nervous about?

Taku Sugawara: You’re basically saying “did I say something that will hurt you”?

Taku Sugawara: All I’m asking if you guys ever wondered the possibility “that I got an assistant?”

Shunsuke: Wait! Sugawara! You!

Taku Sugawara: In other words.

Taku Sugawara: It’s the possibility of.

Taku Sugawara: “Is Shunsuke Ninomiya helping out Taku Sugawara?”

Taku Sugawara: Haven’t you guys doubted this? Can you all agree to this? The reason why Masaya killed himself, and why Ninomiya’s kicking up a fuss here.

Shunsuke: Enough with that.

Taku Sugawara: Hey Ninomiya, explain then. Why did Masaya die? How did I control four popular guys? No way you wouldn’t know, right?

Shunsuke: Don’t get cocky, Sugawara…

Sunuu: …Hey, to be honest, I hope you’ll tell us.

Ayaka: Yeah, I’m not doubting you, Shunsuke, but it’s time to say it.

Hanaka: We’re friends. If there’s something bothering you, you can discuss with us.

Shunsuke: Are you guys idiots? Don’t be bluffed by Sugawara!

Kanda Setoguchi: No, this has nothing to do with Sugawara’s words.

Kanda Setoguchi: We’re kinda curious as to why Masaya would kill himself, you know?

Taku Sugawara: Well, it’s impossible for him to say that.

Taku Sugawara: He intended to push the blame to me, and get out of this unscathed.

Shunsuke: Shut up, Sugawara!

Jun: Shunsuke, if you’re not a traitor, tell us already.

Morii: Please, Shunsuke.

Hanae Lala: Say something, Shunsuke.

Hyouta: Come on, Shunsuke.

Konoha: Just reveal something, please?

Sunuu: Why aren’t you willing to say anything? Got a reason?

Yuki: Are you really… Sugawara’s assistant?

Shunsuke: Stop joking.

Shunsuke has left the group chat.

Ayaka: Eh… why wouldn’t he say anything?

Hanae Lala: Is that true?

Jun: It’s a lie, right?

Taku Sugawara: It is a lie.

Ayaka: Huh?

Taku Sugawara: It’s all a lie. Ninomiya’s not my assistant.

Sunuu: Enough already! Even Shunsuke!

Morri: You’re terrible. You can go die already.

Taku Sugawara: What? Was I wrong? I’m scolded by you, and after a little bait from me, you guys questioned him. Is that my fault too?

Taku Sugawara: To be precise, I didn’t lie. I only raised the ‘possibility’.

Taku Sugawara: But was it me who hurt him and forced him out of the group chat?

Taku Sugawara: Please, realize this already. You guys are just acting like friends, but you’re just blindly following a group for the sake of the biggest happiness.

Taku Sugawara: You couldn’t protect Masay, you can’t kill Sugawara, and you hurt Ninomiya.

Taku Sugawara: The Human Power Test rankings is just designed to falsify feelings.

Taku Sugawara: You guys can boast of many friends, but that’s just one ability.

Taku Sugawara: You guys don’t have the right to deny everyone’s personalities. You guys are the weird ones for not realizing this.

Miharu Furuta: …

Miharu Furuta: Is that what you’re trying to do, Sugawara?

Sunuu: What do you mean ‘that’…?

Miharu Furuta: It’s nothing. I’m just starting to feel what he’s getting at.

Ayaka: Eh, I don’t get it at all. He did something cruel to Shunsuke too.

Jun: What are you saying, Furuta?

Hanae Lala: I don’t understand.

Youki: I think I can understand a little…

Youki: But this is different from causing Masaya’s death.

Taku Sugawara: Yeah, but that’s enough. I don’t hope for you guys to be my friends.

Taku Sugawara: Because it’s impossible. I drove Masaya to despair. No way will I dare to dream of such a good thing.

Taku Sugawara: So just keep mocking me.

Taku Sugawara: And be witnesses to my revolution.

Taku Sugawara has left the group.

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Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 8

2017-09-30T19:06:25Z

Aardvark: /* Chapter 8: Judgement */ Brought up to par with final version

==Chapter 8: Judgement==

Starting from the day after Masaya killed himself, I hid in my room.

I left my room several times, explaining the situation to the visiting Toguchi-sensei and various people. I did explain, but all I could only say was basically “I don’t know.” And continue to act. I had to keep up the arrogant impression, and had to go all out. “I was watched. There’s no way I have anything to do with the suicide,” I said, and got punched by my dad, the blood in my mouth spreading.

However, it was indisputable that there was no proof.

I might as well reveal everything now, I guess? Show my hand with regards to the revolution.

A few times I had such a thought, but the answer was always “No.” I didn’t think the people around me would trust me.

Thus, I could not do anything, and kept hiding in my room until times when I had to go out. I sealed my window sills tight, but I still couldn’t calm down, and sealed up the gaps with tape, ducking under my blanket.

I could only shiver.

It was hell.

My parents were yelling at each other, quarreling downstairs.

The TV in my room showed the news, describing me as the ‘demonic middle school boy’, who dominated four people, and while being watched, one of them was driven to despair.

“No… I’m just some worthless trash.”

There seemed to be a group of media personnel gathered before my house. I peeled the tape slightly, poked my head out from the window, and shivered when it seemed I met them in the eyes. Ah, speaking of which, the aunts living nearby seemed to be saying on TV, “He’s a gloomy one. I can’t tell what he’s thinking.” Enough with that nonsense. How is anyone living nearby able to understand me?

They knew nothing of the Human Power Test, Masaya’s talents, and my revolution.

“Damn it. I need to keep on living… I will be mocked by anons, but I’m going to be gleeful trash…”

I couldn’t admit defeat. Didn’t I already decide that no matter the sacrifices, I’m going to keep on going and become real trash?

However, the last punishment Masaya dealt to me was way too heavy.

All of Japan had been cursing me to “Die”.

I panted heavily on the bed, and at this moment, the smartphone on the table rang. That smartphone would only be used to contact my parents, so I was wondering who it was. I leaned forward, and picked it up.

The sender was Sou. Ah, right, I did send him my email address.

'''“I was worried as you weren’t online. Eh, is this the revolution you wish of?”'''

“NO!”

I yelled. I tapped hard at the keys, and sent him a message.

'''“This isn’t the revolution I wanted. I wanted a different outcome. I never expected Masaya to kill himself.”'''

And he immediately messaged me back, as though on a chat.

'''“…I suppose. I know you aren’t the type who would really wish for others to do. However, you are the one who caused this. Do you understand?”'''

'''“Shut up.”'''

'''“To be honest, I am disappointed. I had hopes for you, hoping that you would discuss this with me one day, but it ended up this way. You made the prodigy Masaya Kishitani kill himself, and that Kotomi Ishikawa you like is in a coma.”'''

'''“I said to shut up.”'''

'''“Hey, Sugawara, as you said, you aren’t the last in the Human Power Test, right? In other words, someone voted for you. Do you know that person might be Kotomi Ishikawa? Do you have anyone else who voted for you?”'''

'''“Shut up, shut up. Stop talking like you understand my predicament.”'''

'''“She’s bound by the Human Power Test, and really envied you for not caring about others. She worshipped you, had hopes for you. You betrayed her, and she fell into a coma.”'''

Sou continued to send messages.

'''“You disappoint me, Sugawara.”'''

I threw my phone to the wall, and it let out a weak thud, with a little dent on the wall as it bounced back. The battery slipped out, and landed on the floor, but other than that, the phone remained undamaged. It’s due to me being weak.

I took a few breaths, and took out two bubble gums from the can on the table, popping them into my mouth. I leaned on the table, closed my eyes, found the scattered phone and battery, reassembled them, and sent a message to Sou.

'''“You know something, don’t you? Why did Masaya die? Say something. Who are you? Answer me? What did you do to Masaya? Did you kill him?”'''

Ever since I started interacting with this guy, everything changed. Surely he knew something.

But his reply was aloof.

'''“You seem to be mistaken. I have nothing to do with this. Even if you do shift the blame to me, the situation will not change for the better.”'''

And the message ended off with this,

'''“But I do suppose my interaction with you shall come to an end, Sugawara. I do apologize, I never had any intention of breaking up your peaceful lifestyle, and it is my fault for being unable to build up trust with you. Farewell. The interaction till this point had been enjoyable.”'''

After I saw the message, I sent a few more back, but there was no response.

Sou left me.

That night, the house was really noisy, and later on, I realized my parents had left in the night.

It was only the following morning that I realized they had abandoned their son and ran away. There was a letter with printed words on the table, and I spent a lot of time to realize this. Like dinner, I was in charge of preparing breakfast, so the first thing I did was to head to the kitchen. I popped the bread into the toast, mixed eggs and bacon on a frying pan, and brewed some red tea. My parents still did not wake up, and I was skeptical, until I found that letter.

The content of the letter was simple.

They took leave from their companies, and left this house. There’s a week of household fees for me, and they hoped I wouldn’t leave the house, and not contact their companies.

“…They abandoned me.”

I muttered. It seemed they wanted to leave everything to me. I caused it all, so I could understand their pain. But they left without saying a word; would parents do this?

Even my parents abandoned me.

“Those two wouldn’t listen to me in the end…”

And the empty house was like a prison.

My appetite worsened. As I kept thinking about the incident, my gut would feel a heavy pressure. I tried eating several times, but I would vomit.

But even while living this life, my mind was exceptionally active.

So, without anyone noticing, I sneaked out of the house in the middle of the night, through the back door, and went to a certain place.

I came to my destination, and pressed the doorbell several times, kicking at the door. An unfamiliar, ugly, fat middle aged lady came to open the door, and I shoved her aside, storming into the house. I didn’t care that I was an intruder.

“Kouta Katou!”

I yelled with all my might.

“Get out here! You’re right right!?”

Kouta Katou, dressed in pajamas, came from his room, and the stunned face immediately broke into timidity, so I grabbed him by the chest, and he howled sheepishly.

I shoved him to the door.

“You were the one who harassed Masaya, right?”

After the violence, someone poured ink onto Masaya’s notebook. I had been thinking on who the culprit was, and finally thought of the one person stupid enough to do this.

“You thought I wouldn’t notice? You thought that you could use that time to push all the blame to me, right?”

But Kouta Katou shook his head to deny,

“No-not at all. Enough with that nonsense. Th-that was you, right, Sugawara?”

“I never approached Masaya’s table that day. Everyone in class was watching me, so I know every well. Also, it’s a brand different from me.”

“I-I’m the same! Look at my calligraphy bag, it’s a different brand!”

Once I heard those words, I punched Katou in the face. His mother standing by the side let out a short shriek, but I didn’t care.

Katou collapsed to the floor, and I stomped my foot on his head.

“I never said that it was ‘ink’, idiot!”

Such a guy should be thoroughly punished.

I wanted to vent all my rage on Katou, but his mother shielded him, “I’m calling the police!” she sobbed and yelled. I wanted to smash the phone in the living room, but I held back.

This guy’s unimportant.

I shoved Katou’s mother aside again, kicked Katou once, and turned to leave. At this moment, I noticed that I came in with sneakers on.

Really, staying in this place will only cause my IQ to drop.

So I thought, but someone suddenly called out to me.

“Sugawara! No matter what nonsense you pull, you’re doomed!”

It’s Kouta Katou. I intended to leave, so he thought he had the upper hand, and began boasting at me.

“Everyone will think that you did it! Sure is nice to bully Masaya here without any risk! If anyone discovered that it’s me, I’m going to declare that I was threatened by you! You’re the devil middle schooler!”

“Oh, so student A who revealed everything to the media was you?”

I turned around, saying this.

Katou leered.

“I only did it once! Masaya wasn’t doomed by me! No matter what, it’s you who doomed Masaya! You murderer!”

I’m a killer.

But then, do you dare to say that you have nothing to do with Masaya’s death?

I didn’t intend to continue lecturing Katou. I had lots to say to him, but like me, he’s dumb, and he wouldn’t understand no matter how much I tried explaining to him, and even if he did, it’s pointless.

So all I did was to divert my rage. All I did was to be furious at Katou.

“So, foolish creatures wouldn’t know how to safeguard against eavesdropping, right?”

I threatened, and took my smartphone out from my pocket.

The blood drained from his face immediately, and later, he lost strength as he collapsed to the floor.

“Good for you that you have your mom comforting you.”

I mocked, and turned to leave Katou’s house.

Skin was torn as I swung my right fist into Katou’s teeth. I stroked it, and returned home under the winter sky. I didn’t feel that I had won; just letting my rage explode caused me to feel more devastated. On the way back, I puked. I leaned on the traffic signboard, trying to let myself calm down.

“Damn it…”

Actually, I did not record it, I just threatened him. I was too naïve after all; only going to his house to throw a tantrum. I was downhearted at how useless I was.

But even if I did record, all the blame would be shifted to me. Nobody would believe that a single harassment would drive Masaya to despair, and nobody would seriously look at the evidence I might provide.

The one who doomed Masaya was undoubtedly me.

I’m trash.

Once I got home, I found that my beloved classmates had sent me a message. It’s been a while since I checked through this, so only at this point did I find it.

The opening was basically something only the class knew of, and this proved that it wasn’t a prank.

There were thirty lines or so in the main text, all of them writing the same thing, with different handwritings.

'''“To the devil who killed Masaya, die.”'''

The letter’s filled with such words.

It contained the wrath of my thirty two classmates, excluding Masaya, Ishikawa, and me.

I used it to wipe my nose, rolled it into a ball, and threw it into the trash.

Other than Katou’s house, I would head out alone.

I couldn’t eat at all in the day, and after sunset, I felt really hungry. During such moments, I would head out. My own deduction was that “young man lacking calcium intake”, “lacking iron”, and various things that resulted in excessive stress, so I went out to the convenience store, and pair my purchases with some Kanto food or simple dishes. Most of the time, I would eat by the road, for whenever I went home to eat, I would end up puking.

The one place I really liked to be at was the top of the overhead bridge.

This road was basically the pulse of our city, and even at midnight, several cars were passing through. Eating hot food on this overhead bridge was unique, to say the least.

I looked afar at the long road my eyes couldn’t see, and prayed that I could escape everything. For I didn’t have the courage to kill myself.

Alone in the darkness, I stared at the headlights of the cars, and filled my stomach.

The cold of December left me thoroughly shivering to the bone.

After seven days, I finally took action.

A week of agony passed, and I decided to start the revolution again. There was no other choice, and if I made another choice at this point, the price I paid would be for naught.

And thus, it’s because of the price I paid that I couldn’t give up.

I gave up on myself. I was already in a self-destructive mindset.

“The whole world’s my enemy, but so what? I’m judged with the death penalty by all people, described as a psychotic by the media, abandoned by my parents, rejected by my friends, cursed by my classmates to ‘die’. But, nobody stood on my side in the first place… nobody on this world will love me… who do I think I am? This is the real me.”

Masaya had no qualms sacrificing his life to destroy my revolution.

So I decided to move to the next phase—the ‘second revolution’.

This time, I would bet on my life, and change this world.

“Hey, Masaya. I’m going to continue fighting against you.”

That was a painful choice.

A single middle schooler couldn’t do much.

At this point, my plans were all ruined by Masaya, or rather, they were overturned on me. My words would only be empty excuses, and most importantly, the one I intended to take action against vanished, greatly affecting the revolution.

Masaya Kishitani’s plan was more perfect than before.

Over these three days, I drank fifty six cups of red tea, and chewed on fifty three bubble gums. I didn’t try to act cool and learn smoking, only because I’m trash with insufficient guts.

I boiled hot water to brew the fifty seventh cup of red tea, and slowly repeated my thoughts.

As I had not been cleaning up every day, the rubbish in my room was all scattered as I kept writing with a ballpoint pen.

I kept revising the plan and reflecting on it, thinking.

But in such a precarious predicament, I couldn’t do anything, and at most, I could only send a cat carcass and a strange prelude to Masaya’s mailbox. I didn’t want to meet Masaya’s mother again, but without eliminating ‘her’ as the great threat, the plan probably wouldn’t succeed.

And so, about two weeks after Masaya killed himself, there was a great chance in the second revolution.

It was when I was eating potato chips on the bridge at night.

A lanky woman appeared before me again.

“Yo, Takkun.”

It was the woman I met at the food court before, and if I remembered correctly, her name was Sayo. As a female, she’s exceptionally tall, taller than my dad. It was the first time I met someone so suited to be dressed in a rider suit. She showed up on the bridge, and not on the road. That alone seemed so out of place.

We had met before, but she called out a strange name. Maybe she was mistaken.

“Who’s Takkun? I don’t have that name.”

“I know. You’re Taku Sugawara, right? That’s why you’re Takkun.”

It was very strange, but there was something more important. So I couldn’t help but shrink back.

She knew my name.

I didn’t know how much she knew about me, but it’s way too dangerous now that she knew my name.

“So I know everything that happened in your class. But relax, I don’t know the truth to the matter; all I know is that I know nothing.”

Saying that, she quickly reached her hand out and grabbed my collar. I was easily grabbed, probably due to my poor athleticism. I tried hitting at her hand, but I was forced into a different position, and pressed onto the railing of the bridge.

A second later, an icy metal feeling entered my chest through my clothes.

It wasn’t a situation where I could relax at all.

“What is it?” I lowered my voice, “Want some extras? There’s some potato chips on the ground.”

“Who’s going to eat that? What did you do to Masaya Kishitani? What is the ‘revolution’? Just tell me.”

Ah, I realized immediately. She’s telling me off too. She once encouraged me, but at this point, she’s questioning me for my sins.

Damn it, I’m way too sad.

Everyone chose to leave me. Nobody was willing to stand by my side at all. Once I realized this, I felt sadness within. So trash really have it difficult to survive? Was it that tough?

I felt like sobbing. I bit my lips and stomped hard at Sayo’s foot. However, she held me down with more force, not faltering.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

“I SAID EVERYTHING. I BULLIED THEM ALL!” I yelled, “MASAYA HAS TO BEAR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF REVEALING EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET, SO I SMACKED HIM WITH THE WATER BOTTLE. I KEPT DRIVING AT HIM, AND DROVE HIM TO SUICIDE. HE DESERVES IT!”

I could no longer stop.

Whether it’s the plan, or the revolution. I gave up on everything else, and just yelled.

Because all of Japan hoped for it, right?

Is this happiness?

“BULLYING’S AN INVENTION THAT SPANS THROUGH CIVILIZATION! NO NEED FOR DREAMS AND COUNTRY FATES, JUST LOCK THIRTY YOUNG PEOPLE INTO A SAUNA! IT’S AN ANTIDOTE TO THE BORING DAYS! WITHOUT EXCITEMENT, HUMANS CAN’T LIVE!”

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

“MOTIVE? JUST JEALOUSY! MY FIRST LOVE WAS MASAYA’S GIRLFRIEND! THAT GUY’S THE POPULAR ONE! IT’S NO WONDER I HAVE HIM AS A TARGET! IT’S CALLED A REVOLUTION! ISN’T IT COOL!? IT’S A FLAWLESS, PERFECT CRIME!”

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

“SO I’M GOING TO CONTINUE WITH REVENGE! I’M NOT GOING TO FORGIVE MASAYA’S MOTHER! SHE FORCED ME WITH THE STUPID PUNISHMENT TO KNEEL BEFORE EVERYONE! NO WAY WILL I FORGIVE SUCH SCUM! I’M NOT GOING TO FORGIVE KOTOMI ISHIKAWA FOR LIVING ON! EVERYONE’S UNFORGIVABLE! EVERYONE CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE!”

“Takkun, enough.”

Sayo said by my ear. As she changed her position, I regained my senses immediately. She embraced me, from top to bottom.

I could feel her head pressing on my chest. Due to the rider suit, I couldn’t feel the body warmth, but I could feel her hands hugging me.

“That’s enough. There’s no way you could have bullied others…”

She seemed to be forcing her voice out.

“I spoke with Takayoshi Komuro over the phone. Surely he’s at fault. It’s just that those watching the news couldn’t tell, and the police and teachers with the evidence couldn’t tell, but in any case, you’re not the one in the wrong.”

“What do you mean… it’s illogical.”

“It’s not a question of logic, but what I can feel. Ahh, this is nuts; it’s the sixth sense. I don’t think someone who would whimper away due to rejection would be the devil who drove his classmate to suicide.”

Surely there are such people in the world, I thought, but I couldn’t say it out loud. I couldn’t say anything. And for some strange reason, I wanted to cry. But I wouldn’t cry. When I launched the revolution, this was what I decided on.

I didn’t resist, and I continued to stand on the bridge. With Sayo embracing me, I looked down at the vehicles driving under the bridge, accelerating away as though they ignored me. The bridge we were on was shaking.

After some time, and though reluctant, I nudged Sayo’s arms away. I’m no longer at kid; no way could I keep relying on her.

“You’re still a kid. You can keep relying on me.”

Sayo said, as though reading through my thoughts.

I shook my head.

“I’m fourteen. My voice is breaking, and I can masturbate.”

“You sure like your dirty jokes.”

Sayo chuckled.

“Mind telling me what happened?”

“Why?”

“Masaya’s older sister is investigating this. I’m her assistant.”

She’s called Sanae, right? I remembered Masaya mentioning her a few times. Whenever he talked about his sister or mother, he would keep on going.

Considering the possibility of the revolution, I probably should meet her, but there’s a risk for some strange reason.

“I won’t talk, and you won’t believe me anyone. Any idiot who believes my words wholeheartedly will only pull me down.”

“Pull down what?”

“My revolution.”

“Then tell Masaya’s sister yourself. No way she will believe you. She’s not going to give up until she gets an acceptable answer. She’s a little timid now, but I believe she’ll pull herself through again.

“…She’s scared of something?”

“Well… I don’t know. She seemed to be hiding something. If I keep ignoring this, she might take revenge on you. You know about Masaya’s mother too, right? Tell me the truth, trust me.”

She smacked her chest with her fist. Sayo’s brilliant smile was before me, and I could hear the thumps and rubs of the rider suit. She seemed to be encouraging me.

I stared at her earnest look, and thought of a few plans. However, due to my prior agitation, my mind couldn’t work well. With her prompting me, “Alright,” I couldn’t help but say.

Given that Sayo said this much, I could only meet her.

Sanae Kishitani, the older sister of the victim I drove to suicide.

Of course, I understood the meaning of this.

Please laugh out loud and mock me.

I drove my friend to despair, got hit by my first love, abandoned by my parents, cursed by my classmates ‘to die’, and even abandoned by my internet friend, and the whole of Japan wanted to judge me with the ‘death penalty’.

But when embraced by a woman, my heart weakened. How foolish I am. I should be lambasted for being a perverted middle schooler.

And thus, I was betrayed by the one I trusted.

The next day, I was on the bench.

I gave Sayo two conditions.

Once, she had to keep this a secret until I met her.

Second, I would decide the time and place.

So, around four pm, I went to a park a five minute walk away from Masaya’s house. If there were no hiccups, Sanae would be here.

“She might be the last puzzle.”

I fiddled with my earphones as I pondered. Unlike the event at the bridge on the prior day, my thoughts had calmed down greatly.

I couldn’t embarrass myself again. I had to face this calmly.

And then, let the second revolution succeed.

“And there’s something I want to ask her.”

There was just one doubt I had.

There was something Ishikawa said that I couldn’t figure out. I thought it was Katou, but it seemed I was wrong.

In September, Masaya’s gym clothes were slashed.

Of course, that wasn’t me, and that wasn’t Ishikawa.

According to what I heard from Toguchi-sensei, before the fifth period, Masaya took out his gym clothes, and found that they had been slashed by something sharp. I was at the library, so I wasn’t a witness. I could determine however that there were only a few people who could take out Masaya’s gym clothes from his bag, cut it up, and put it back. It’s completely different from spilling ink onto a notebook.

College students were still on summer vacation in September, and many returned home.

Sayo said that she was hiding something.

So I had to get this clear.

Was the one who cut up Masaya’s gym clothes Sanae?

There were footsteps behind me.

And this was the final step.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu:Chapter_7|Chapter 7]]
| Return to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu:LINE|LINE]]
|-
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</noinclude>

Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Interlude

2017-09-30T19:04:04Z

Aardvark: /* Youtube: 'TK's easy cooking' Freetalk on December 5th */ Brought up to par with final version

==Interlude - Youtube 'TK's Easy Cooking' Freetalk on December 5th==

TK: “Thank you for tuning in to TK’s cooking as usual. I have to apologize for this news though. While I have been introducing food recipes once every three days, I shall became a little busier due to work, and have to do so once a week. I do apologize greatly to all the audience.”

George: “I do look forward to seeing the 100-yen world cooking series. It’s a pity, but please do your best in your work. Anyway, what is your profession?”

TK: “It’s a secret. To do with education though…”

Himuhimu: “Is it about the Kuzegawa bullying and suicide incident?”

TK: “No, it’s just a coincidence. Just so happened to be of similar timing.”

George: “Thank goodness, I’m relieved. That scared me (laughs).”

Sou: “No, aren’t you the teacher-in-charge of the class in question? His name can be written TK as an acronym.”

TK: “It just happened to be a coincidence, right?”

Sou: “Once a week? Are you kidding? Your class has issues, and you have no intention to investigate. You’re just not concerned at all, devoted to your social website. Are you even a teacher?”

TK: “I said that you’re mistaken.”

Sou: “There are people who know your voice and fingerprints, and that’s enough. I’m going to report this to the media, and have you, the irresponsible teacher, be the number one enemy of Japan along with the cruel mastermind S.”

TK: “Are you kidding me!? Who are you!? That has nothing to do with me, right!?”

Sou: “You figured out something, didn’t you? You are the adult closest to them, and you couldn’t prevent the suicide.”

TK: “What could I do!? There wasn’t any bullying! No witnesses! No signs at all! It’s all that devil’s fault! I’m the victim!”

Sou: “You’re so incompetent, acting like an outsider. Farewell.”

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu:Chapter_6|Chapter 6]]
| Return to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu:Chapter_7|Chapter 7]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 6

2017-09-30T19:03:21Z

Aardvark: /* Chapter 6: Murder */ Brought up to par with final version

==Chapter 6: Murder==

I’ve decided to quickly explain this revolution.

It’s a little tiring, but keep up with me.

During break, after finishing the meals that aren’t too bad but not very good either, everyone would just do whatever they wanted.

I was always at a corner of the classroom, reading, so I never once paid attention to all my classmates. On a closer look though, I would find everyone doing all kinds of things happily.

Masaya, Ninomiya, and Watabe were playing poker cards with several girls, while Ishikawa was watching on from the side happily. Komuro was trying his best to copy Masaya’s homework, the other girls were chatting away on the corridor, giving annoyed looks at Katou and the others as the latter talked about some degrading stuff. The more otaku oriented ones were discussing the anime airing that night, while calm people like me were reading.

What I wanted to express was that back then, I was not enraged.

When I attacked Masaya with the filled water bottle, I was not that agitated.

So once I made up my mind, I attacked Masaya with a swift, fluid motion when he turned his head around. Of course, it was to be expected; if I was really angry, I would have attacked him with a chair, and Masaya would even have been sent to the hospital. With my feeble muscles, I should have been able to do it.

In any case, it was due to kindness that I chose to attack with a water bottle, and left a bruise on Masaya’s face.

“What’s with you… Sugawara?”

Every classmate of mine stopped, and there was instantaneous silence in the classroom, with only Masaya remaining calm.

That really impressed me.

So I said, “This is really a good day.”

In early November, I began my revolution.

Once I was done with the preparations, I attacked Masaya, as I had described.

And chaos came.

I explained to my class teacher-in-charge Toguchi-sensei, Masaya’s mother, and the parents of the other three, and their lashing would have rendered me deaf. A few times Masaya’s mother wanted to hit me.

In the center of the classroom, several adults surrounded me, agitated emotions lashing out.

Like a hare mistakenly entering a lion’s den, I was left with a terrifying, pitiful experience.

But I never apologized.

I couldn’t give up easily, for it’s a revolution.

Everyone subjected me to ridiculous punishments, and during noon break, I had to go to every classroom in the school, to kneel down before everyone.

That day, I returned home at eight.

And before I slept, I finally met my father, who made it home.

He took off the heavy coat, took out a can of beer from the fridge, “Don’t do anything stupid,” and merely told me this.

Just that.

He never asked me anything.

Masaya’s mother went berserk like Asura himself, and I was suspended from school for three days; including Saturday, I spent five days on break. During this time, I went to the school a few times, and visited the homes of Masaya, Ninomiya, Watabe, and Komuro.

“Get your parents here!” A few of them called out to me.

But I could only answer, “Please tell my parents yourself.” I was not trying to fool them, I was being earnest; however, I got lashed at instead, and I appeared to have been thunderstruck.

I could understand this much.

The problem was that after suspension, I was forced to kneel before everyone.

(Is this the Edo Period!?)

During noon break, I went to kneel before every classroom, regardless of year. Is this permitted in education? MEXT, explain this!

…Well, that’s to be expected.

After the first day of kneeling ended, I grumbled inside my heart, and finally gained peace. I patted hard at my dirtied knees and hair, and sighed.

The feeling of pity and condescension from strangers lingered in my heart. Everyone was having lunch happily, and I showed up with the teachers, my head grovelling onto the floor. Everyone was stunned, and unable to say anything; the curious looks became condescension. I never saw their expressions, but that, I felt, was the atmosphere filling the classrooms.

It’s one thing for all the students to understand that bullying isn’t right; at the same time, it’s for everyone to know that I’m trash.

I guess this school won’t have any bullying again. Congrats.

(Masaya’s mom is really scary…)

I sighed, and heard Toguchi-sensei’s voice. He’s my teacher-in-charge, the adult who accompanied me as I kneeled.

“Hey, Sugawara.”

The young teacher of approximately thirty years old scratched his head.

“You don’t seem to have taken this hard…”

“Really?”

“No, it’s not like I want to increase the punishment, but I’m curious. What are you thinking?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just reflecting on how I bullied Masaya.”

I never expected Toguchi-sensei to figure it out, so I tried my best to give an arrogant attitude, a mocking smile, and turned my eyes to a completely different direction.

At the very least, until the revolution ends, I can’t open my heart to Toguchi-sensei.

So I mocked,

“Any worse? As long as I kneel down, things will end up well. Are you intending to get Masaya’s mom here? I did visit her during my break, but her rage just increased.”

“…Well, you’re right.”

Toguchi-sensei seemed to have given up, and sighed, hurrying back to the staff room. This teacher was criticized for being spineless and afraid of trouble, very unpopular amongst the students, but at this moment, I really was relieved by this.

When I returned to my classroom, I found my pencil case thrown into the dustbin.

It was very unnatural, and I figured it out on first glance. All the contents were spilled out, and thrown along with the pencil box, several mechanical pencils were sticking out from under the grey plastic bag.

I never expected it to begin so quickly.

I felt stares from all over the classroom, different from when I headed out to kneel before every classroom; there’s a sense of justice. The proof is that several gazes are looking my way, and not averting. They showed no shame in their ugly inner hearts, and thought that throwing my pencil case was an act of justice.

It’s nauseating.

“Is the Human Power Test that important…?” I muttered.

I thought as I glared back at them. I really had a lot to say.

You guys don’t have the right to be trash. You’re scum. You want approval from others? You want to be praised by Masaya? Or be one with the surrounding atmosphere? You throw away other people’s stuff for some stupid reason? How many people have you harmed over the past fourteen years, harking on the term friendship you do not understand?

But it was pointless to tell them this. First, I don’t care about these things; even if they’re stupid, buffoons, so what? It’s just my pencil case thrown away. Just a waste of a minute.

Real trash won’t be hurt.

And that’s what I saw during the initial phase of my revolution.

The revolution’s proceeding unexpectedly well, you know?

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’m tired!”

In any case, once I returned home, I yelled.

I attacked Masaya, faced Masaya’s mother in the staff room, visited the victims during my break, kneeled before everyone, my class and school judged me; it’s easy to write this, but every single event caused tremendous stress to my mental state.

I snacked on tidbits in the living room, soothing my tired soul. The baumkuchen I bought behind my parents’ back was unexpectedly nice. I started peeling the layers and eating them; it’s a unique way of eating I came up with. I collapsed on the sofa. “Uuu,” I murmured. Even trash like me will have a mental collapse.

“I should say that I haven’t done anything decent in a while. My head hearts. They’re cruel. They just tortured this weak kid in the Heisei Era like this!”

Even so, I couldn’t give up.

If not, I would forever have the infamy of being ‘the guy who bullied four classmates and beat up a classmate with a water bottle’.

The die has been cast.

I can only continue on.

I decided to grumble before heading to sleeping, '''“Beep.”''' There’s a sound from the computer. I approached it, and found the message was from Sou. It’s the usual message.

'''“Hello, you hear me? Did anything interesting happen today?”'''

I didn’t intend to tell him “I was forced to kneel during noon break as punishment.” So I made a harmless lie. It’s very easy to make up a lie. My day’s basically the same schedule, almost a staple. Go to school, don’t pay attention in class, head to the library, and head home.

I couldn’t tell Sou about the bullying and incident, but I just wanted to discuss something a little more stupid with Sou.

“Oh yeah, I found that cooking meat buns in soup is nice. It’s easy to complete a Chinese dish.”

At this point, I only need a change of mood, so I started getting greedy, and made a stupid joke.

Just to note, I’ve never had meat bun soup. This should be enough to make a Chinese soup dish, right? I don’t know.

The conversation continued somewhat, and we chatted away,

'''“So, in that case, if you use red bean bun, it’ll become a red bean soup, right?”'''

“Really? Sounds like it’ll be really bland.”

'''“Try making it. I’m looking forward to your results.”'''

“You should try experimenting it yourself, Sou. This is despicable.”

I joked, and awaited his reply.

After a pause, Sou sent me a message,

'''“Anyway, why did you beat up Masaya Kishitani, Sugawara?”'''

At that moment, I stopped thinking.

I kept reading that message, and then checked through my chat log with Sou. There was proof that I had never revealed my personal information to him.

I felt thirsty immediately, and was unable to say anything.

But Sou kept sending messages to me on the computer.

'''“I apologize for saying this out of a sudden, but do you mind sharing this with me? I might be able to help you out. Why did you hit Masaya Kishitani? Why did you act so arrogant before Masaya Kishitani’s mother? How did you dominate the four students?”'''

What’s going on? I inadvertently explained,

'''“I know you, I have hopes for you, and I am worried about you, so please tell me your objective. Taku Sugawara, that classmate of yours called ‘I’ is Kotomi Ishikawa, right?”'''

I instinctively switched off the computer.

My breathing got hasty, and I frantically unplugged the computer internet cable before leaving the living room.

Why did that guy know me?

Who exactly was he?

I felt something breaking apart, and had an ominous premonition.

Just in time, the doorbell rang. It’s not my parents; it’s impossible for them to be home at this time.

Someone’s here.

With my heart pounding, I sneaked to the window, and peeked at the entrance.

The guy standing outside was someone I didn’t expect, someone I didn’t want to meet.

(Masaya…)

Masaya had a bandage on his face as he stood at the door. Seeing that figure, I backtracked, and wanted to leave the scene,

“Taku, you there?” he called out to me through the window, “Why did you do that? What did you intend to do?”

Masaya called out to me, and I covered my mouth, holding my breath.

But a genius is really scary, and Masaya seemed to have realized my presence. He turned the door handle, saw that it was locked, and said,

“I know you’re hiding behind the door. If you don’t want to come out, it’s fine. But please, tell me, what is your aim?”

I couldn’t answer.

And Masaya said,

“You don’t have to kneel anymore. I never wanted you to do this. I’ll tell everyone in class not to be so narrow-minded and throw your pencil case. This is all I came to tell you. Hey, say something already, please.”

Even though he was being kind to me, I couldn’t answer. Only silence engulfed us as we were separated by this three centimeter thick door.

“Hey, Taku…” Masaya muttered, “We’re still bullies, right? Allies, right?”

“Yeah… but, sorry,” I said. However, I was thinking that once everything ended, we could go out and eat together; of course, I couldn’t just invite him out.

He’s an ally member of the TakuMasa alliance.

But at this point, I couldn’t be his good friend.

So after that, I chose to remain silent.

Several minutes later, Masaya still remained at the door, several times about to say something, then he finally gave up as he kicked the door in frustration, turning away to leave.

I closed my eyes, remaining at the corridor.

I had to keep torturing Masaya until the revolution ended.

For my own happiness.

I was worn out, and laid at the entrance; at this time, the doorbell rang again.

It was probably after about ten minutes or so, and I got wary again, wondering if it was Masaya again. I was curious as to who the visitor was and returned to the living room, and peered through the window; I saw the standard deep blue bag of our school, with a grey ribbon on it. Just the ribbon? There seemed to be something else tied to it. Yep, this seems familiar.

To see it clearly, I reached my head towards the window, and hit the glass accidentally. The visitor turned over upon hearing the hit, and our eyes met.

It’s Kotomi Ishikawa.

This was the first possible timing. She was the one person I didn’t want to see, more than Masaya. Things were going bad. The grey ribbon was a leftover of that doll. I couldn’t pretend not to be at home, however, so I nodded and went to the entrance. At the dim entrance, I switched on the white fluorescent lights, unlocked the door, and it was shoved aside, almost eagerly. She ignored the entrance I would typically clean up, and rattled away.

“Why did Masaya visit you, Sugawara?”

She asked. It’s a harsh expression I had never seen before, as though I was being interrogated over the sins of my past incarnation.

I averted her intense eyes, and said,

“Did he? I wasn’t sure.”

“You’re lying. I saw Masaya leave your house, Sugawara. Please tell me. Why did Masaya come here?”

“…I didn’t see him.” I tried to be as careful as I could as I answered, “I ignored him. He was yelling outside the house, but I didn’t know what he was yelling. Probably the New Testament.”

“Masaya isn’t a Christian.”

Ishikawa’s rebuttal sure was typical of her, and I was dumbfounded.

“Then it’s probably the Old Testament.”

“Again with that attitude… you’ll get bullied, Sugawara.”

It’s a tone of pity and rage; over the fourteen years of my life, this was the first time I had heard such a strange way of speaking.

“Everyone hates your guts, Sugawara… because you beat up Masaya. So, please tell me honestly. This is my one request… did you really bully Masaya?”

“…I did. Komuro spilled the beans of what I did on the internet, and Masaya has to bear the responsibility, so I beat him up. That’s how it is.”

My tone was colder than I thought. However, what I said could never be taken back.

Ishikawa shook her head before me.

“That’s a lie too. Even though I’m not smart, I know Masaya isn’t the type to be bullied.”

“In that case, why didn’t Masaya deny it before the teachers and the parents? If he had said ‘I wasn’t bullied’, I wouldn’t have said anything. He never denied it, because he couldn’t, because it’s a fact. You should have asked Masaya, right? What did he say?”

When I rejected Ishikawa with words, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I had a strong urge to apologize immediately and embrace her. I was mentally prepared, but I never expected being enemies with Ishikawa to be so painful.

While I was wondering if I made her cry, she unexpectedly gave me a slap. It was weak, but it was enough to send this weaker me sprawling on the floor.

Her breathing was as frantic as a wild animal as she looked down at me,

“Why… wouldn’t you tell me?”

Her eyes were filled with tears, and she lashed out at me,

“Please tell me honestly! What should I do!? Whose words do I believe? Please tell me the truth… or… I’ll have to bully you… Sugawara…”

“Shut up…!!!”

While on the floor, I retorted back with all my determination, pushing back Ishikawa and my first love with determination.

“Stop trying to act goody-goody and say what sounds nice already. What you see is just others; you don’t hate me, right? You’re just scared of being treated cruelly again, hoping to be accepted by the other students. Stop determining other people’s crimes with that kind of motive. Stop running away from reality!”

“—!!”

She let out a verbal sob when she heard those words, and looked down at me in tears. She appeared to have something to say, but she seemed unable to say anything.

I guess I was right. Such an obvious response helped me out; it’s because of this that I started the revolution.

This is fine, so I convinced myself. Even if I was hated by Ishikawa, I couldn’t get her involved. This would be fine.

I felt the cold from the marble floor, and to avoid her gaze, I looked towards the pottery plant at the entrance. The dark green leaves were shaking as I kept waiting for Ishikawa to leave.

Finally, Ishikawa said in pain,

“Please shut up… you don’t know the suffering others have. You won’t understand.”

“Maybe.”

“You aren’t reflecting on this at all right, Sugawara? You spilled ink on Masaya’s textbook… just like you cut up Masaya’s gym clothes in September… you kept bullying Masaya… you’re horrible.”

“…Eh?”

I turned back, and asked, but she had already left.

I wanted to give pursuit, but my train of thoughts couldn’t catch up, and my body couldn’t move for the time being.

Again, I was left alone on the corridor.

But unlike before, I had clear doubts in my mind.

“Did I spill ink on Masaya’s notebook? Did I cut up his gym clothes?”

Those weren’t me.

Some people did these behind my back. I recalled Masaya’s anguished look.

Was I thoroughly mistaken about something?

Something laid hidden.

And was progressing to a place different from my revolution.

I have few wishes.

To fulfill these minimal wishes, I had to start this revolution.

To ease the burden of my friends.

Even if it’s a little, I hoped to ease Ishikawa’s burden.

I wanted to wreck the Human Power Test, and get happiness.

So I had such expectations as I started this revolution alone. And then, even if it wasn’t at me, I hoped she would show a hearty smile again.

It’s fine for us not to be loves.

Trash won’t hope for such unrealistic things.

However, a month after I beat up Masaya, my wish wasn’t fulfilled. Instead, it appeared before me in a twisted manner.

Even I wasn’t sure of what happened during this time; I could deduce something from the known information and rumors, but deductions are just deductions. Of course, the one thing I could be certain of, was that the source of everything was me.

My revolution started creating turmoil, affecting various people; there’s no doubt about this.

Ishikawa fell from the stairs, and lost consciousness.

Once I heard that news, I stopped thinking. However, the worst possible outcome happened three days later.

Masaya Kishitani killed himself.

When I heard of this through the phone call, I collapsed to the floor due to hyperventilation.

Ahh, please, just mock me.

Laugh at this shallow me.

This is the one thing you can do, my single hope.

For I look down on myself, more than anyone else.

So when you make fun of me, our emotions will become one, and we’ll be a kindred soul.

Following this was the real hell.

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| Back to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu:Chapter_5|Chapter 5]]
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| Forward to [[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Interlude|Interlude]]
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Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 4

2017-09-30T19:00:15Z

Aardvark: /* Chapter 4: Revolution */ Brought up to par with final version

==Chapter 4: Revolution==

I knew nothing about Ishikawa.

Till the very end, I did not know why Ishikawa cried at the planetarium.

I suppose there’s an emotion I can’t imagine, that if I interfered out of personal curiosity, I would probably be heavily involved.

Thus, I did not dig further into this, but left the scene. In other words, I ran away.

For I did not want to be hurt.

Trash.

This term was so appropriate in describing my actions.

<center>†</center>

If I had a chance to defend my actions, I would say that I wasn’t like this all the time.

A year ago.

I took the same bus ride with Masaya.

Masaya Kishitani’s a genius everyone loved, and was already the central figure of the class the moment he entered middle school, males and females always smiling at him. Back then, there was a sports festival, and as the last relay runner, he easily overturned the deficit and won. Back then, everyone was talking, “that’s Masaya of Class One,” and he was in his most popular phase. Nobody would have the sense to disagree here, right? Other than idiots?

Even I’m really awed by him. Not just once, but twenty five times of awed. To me, who’s untalented in every way possible, he’s someone I should be hating, but that’s not the case for him. Looking down on Masaya made me feel extremely small; he’s that kind of special.

It just so happened that I was seated next to Masaya on the bus.

“Oh, Sugawara. Can I sit next to you?”

He sat beside me, giving off the smell of some refreshing hair conditioner. With a very natural attitude, he just talked to me; it’s almost a supernatural art.

In other words, he had intended to talk to me.

“Speaking of which, I’ve hardly talked to you. We never talked at all since the Opening Ceremony, did we?”

“Well, yeah.”

He was overly casual, and I instinctively answered. He had a power I couldn’t ignore.

“Of course, isn’t it? Ahh, it’s really shocking and rare. We never got assigned to the same group, and you always vanish after school or during noon break. Club activities are on hold today, so I got this chance to talk to you.”

“Eh, but I’m just a weak existence that will vanish at any given moment now, right?”

“Don’t just disappear man. There are still people on this world who want to know you.”

“From which planet?”

“Earth. What’s with that answer? What are you normally thinking of?”

“Hungry kids in Africa or something.”

“O-Oh, that sounds amazing.”

Of course, I wouldn’t say that as a resident living in a first world country on this world, I’m always hating this world.

But Masaya seemed to have misunderstood in thinking that I’m expanding beyond borders to observe history, and nodded away,

“You’re amazing. I got a different view of you now. If you’re thinking about such things since Middle School, someone like you is going to get a Nobel Prize down the road.”

“You’re thinking too much into this, Kishitani. I heard that you feel anxious whenever you see people hold chopsticks improperly. Is that correct?”

“It is, it is. Well, to explain it, it’s probably because my sister’s very clumsy, and that I ended up really picky about it. OCD? Anyway, it’s a weird personality.”

He just seemed like a difficult person to deal with. As I thought about this, I suddenly noticed something.

I was conversing normally with a classmate. To others, it might have been something really normal, but it’s abnormal to me.

Thus, I couldn’t help but stare at Masaya; he tilted his head in confusion, but I kept staring at him. In order, I looked at his nose, eyes, ears, mouth, hair, and mole, and understood something. It’s been a while since I got interested in someone, I guess?

Masaya Kishitani had a special ability.

The definite god-given ability to attract other people to him.

“Hey, what’s with you? You saw a ghost behind me or something?”

I kept staring blankly at him until he spoke up. His ability itself startled me. Or rather, experiencing the ability to notice others left me really startled.

It’s like I’m making contact with aliens.

I couldn’t even call myself trash, and Masaya’s a genius from the moment he was born.

During the two months I conversed with Masaya on the bus, I reverted back to being a normal person.

If anyone spoke to me, I would try my best to answer, and as I ate proper meals, I would try chatting with the girl before me. During class, I would focus on taking notes, never forgetting my homework, and always submitting on time.

I suppose my feelings towards Masaya were jealousy, envy, and respect, and that encounter with him left such a big impression on me.

But as I said, it just lasted for another two months.

“Those guys that get high scores on the Human Power Test get cocky and annoying as a result, right?”

It happened during noon, and I was in a corner of the classroom, and so happened to overhear a chat amongst girls.

I was really reading, and even though I was nearby, they never minded about this.

“Class three in particular, I heard someone just handed over her test card to others.”

“The test card for the Human Power Test? Wah, that’s pretty high, isn’t it?”

“Right right. Twelfth. She’s boasting around with it. How shameless.”

“Eh? What’s her name?”

“That Kotomi Ishikawa has a screw loose in her head, don’t you think?”

And the boring gossip started to veer off course.

“Want to tease her?”

Finally someone suggested this.

With a nonchalant look, she said such a cruel line, and it left my back shivering.

So I instinctively stood up. They widened their eyes, rooted to the spot, and I stepped towards them. To be honest, I was terrified by their stares. Ever since young, I was always given such condescending looks.

Perhaps I wanted to get rid of my nickname as trash, and become a hero like Masaya.

“You girls are horrible,” I summoned my courage to say that, “Just rumors, and you think up of such a stupid plan. It’s an eyesore.”

They held down the hems of their blazers, and appeared to be trying to say something, but with more stares gathered upon them, they could only scamper away from the classroom.

I thought I was fighting against evil.

(I was nervous, but I did express myself… maybe I might get everyone’s approval.)

So I had such an optimistic thought.

I stood in place, and had a deep breath, returned to my seat, and continued reading.

However, reality was not that pretty.

Days later, we had a Human Power Test at the end of the second semester.

During the first semester, I was 297th for the Human Power Test.

For the second semester, I was 345th.

It was the complete opposite. I was stunned by this slide in results, holding the Test Card that was given to me, and dumbfounded for moments.

I sat in a corner of the classroom, staring at this number. Suddenly a boy went behind me.

He peered at my grades, and I instinctively turned away. Kouta Katou gave me a look of pity.

“So it slid…” he said, “A few people suggested not to vote for Sugawara.”

How kind of them.

My response probably wasn’t too drastic, and Katou, feeling grieved for me, consoled me.

“You scolded a group of girls, right? That infuriated them, and they went about spreading unfounded rumors, like ‘you peeped into the girls’ toilet’ or ‘you molested them’, or something.”

“Just for that reason…?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… that’s stupid.”

“Right. But, I can understand their feelings, of wanting to bully someone who gets high scores in the Human Power Test…” Katou added with sympathy, “I’m not talking with you again, Sugawara. I don’t want to get involved… bye then.”

Katou hurriedly left the scene, so as to avoid having others realize that he chatted with me.

His actions allowed me to realize something.

I see. No matter how much I worked hard or devoted myself, all I can appear to be is awkward, embarrassing, doing foolish things. I thought I was gracefully swimming freestyle in a lake under the moonlight, but I’m just an abandoned puppy struggling in the drain.

And after all I did, others found me repulsive.

Thus, I gave up on working hard. It’s pointless for someone like me to work hard. I should try my best not to attract attention, and become someone unimpressive.

In my eyes, the others have lost their luster.

And so, Masaya himself stopped the harassment of Ishikawa. I always felt that I was worshipping him. My courage would only stoke the flames of their malic, completely meaningless.

Through this incident, I learned two things.

One, I can’t be like Masaya.

Second, it’s better to be trash.

And so, I ended up not caring about others again.

I decided to continue living as trash.

Or at least, that was supposed to be the case.

“‘I’ seem to have some troubles.”

I spent two whole days thinking of the reason why she would cry, yet I had no idea at all, or rather, I couldn’t have, as my mind’s always thinking about random stuff. It’s no different from before.

I was a normal person for two months or so, but that was a year ago. After that, I became trash again. She’s someone of a different world from me, just like how Masaya’s an alien to me.

Thus, I asked my friend Sou, who might come in handy. Inside this lonely room, I awaited his reply.

'''“Hm, I’m not sure. I never knew her. If you want to discuss this with me, you can be more detailed.”'''

In the end, even he couldn’t help me out. I didn’t intend to spill the details. I didn’t want to talk to others about Ishikawa that easily.

Sou replied with a question mark, one that had a sigh in it.

'''“A troublesome personality you have. I can only say that you are becoming ever so conscious of her.”'''

“So I guess that’s it, huh?”

'''“Right, to a point where you have a crush on her. It is heartbreaking though, to say the least.”'''

I showed no intention to refute. Crush, maybe he got it.

'''“But for your sake, I do advise you to know how to exercise restraint,”''' Sou’s words showed up on the screen, '''“You are living as trash, not caring about what others say, but that’s because you won’t get hurt, right? By becoming trash that goes nowhere, you try to guess her thoughts, and in the end, you’re the one hurting yourself. Looking at things objectively, the chances of her liking you is miniscule. Is there anyone who likes you when you don’t know how to dress yourself, hold hands, and are bad at sports?”'''

I couldn’t type back in refute. I recalled the foolish futility I did a year ago.

Over this period, Sou continue to speak without holding back.

'''“It is time for you to make a decision. Sugawara, you should tidy yourself, dress yourself well, and while maintaining your personality, learn how to woo girls for her sake… if you want to be someone normal, you have to go all the way. However, if you never work hard and selfishly hope that she will like you, this is disrespectful to her.”'''

“…”

'''“You have to choose between being trash, and being a real human.”'''

Sou pleaded for me to make a decision. I knew he was right, but, it just felt so surreal. I couldn’t make a decision.

I felt breathless, and closed the chat window. I shouldn’t have discussed this with him.

So I told myself, and I left the computer.

After that, I started thinking to myself.

Kotomi Ishikawa had her own troubles.

Was there anything I could do for her? No, or rather, what was I trying to do for her? “You have to choose.” So Sou cornered me, but what was I trying to do?

“Wait, huh?”

Suddenly, I tilted my head.

“Did I tell Sou my real name?”

Whatever.

Even without Sou telling me so, I knew very well.

As long as I never bothered with the stares of the people around me, I can maintain calm without. This is the fate of the one ranked 369th in the Human Power Test.

As long as I ignore others, I won’t get hurt.

It’s easier to be trash.

I understood this better than anyone else.

So when she cried and went to the school’s garbage dump, I should have pretended not to notice. Back then, I was on the third floor, and even after seeing her, I could have pretended not to notice. It was stupid of me to run over to her.

But I couldn’t ignore her.

Right, surely I had fallen for Kotomi Ishikawa.

A trash like me who goes nowhere, and she said she ‘envies’ me. Those words alone left me falling for her.

She was cutting a dolphin doll in the dumps, and it’s a pink mammal the size of a palm. I remembered that dolphin hanging on Ishikawa’s bag, and she would shake it from time to time. However, it’s cut up heartlessly. The cotton inside was exposed like organs, looking really pitiful. Ishikawa continued to cut the body of the dolphin.

At first, I went towards Ishikawa, who jumped like a little animal, shivering. However, once she noticed it was me, she looked relieved.

“So it’s you, Sugawara.”

She said with tears in her eyes. It seemed she didn’t care about me noticing her.

“Don’t scare me. I was really shocked.”

“What are you doing here?”

I went straight to the point, and saw her show a grimace. However, she gave a nonchalant look, and said, “I’m dealing with something annoying.”

“Something annoying…”

I looked at the cut up dolphin; that should have been her precious thing.

But before me, she again cut stabbed the dolphin with the scissors.

“Life really isn’t smooth sailing. It’s scary, but with mind-reading, it’ll definitely be easy.” Ishikawa continued to trample upon the doll, and said, “I won’t need to do such a thing.”

I nodded.

“Yeah. With telepathy, you might become someone rich, smooth sailing in life.”

“Eh? No, I’m not referring to money.”

“I’m just joking.”

“Ahahaha, so you can joke too, Sugawara.”

The conversation ended; I didn’t know what to say. I seemed to have lost my ability to speak. I wanted to say some nice things, so that I would be worshipped, liked by her; such selfish desires twirled around in my mind, and I didn’t know how to console her.

Like a scarecrow, I stood still, and saw her throw the scissors to the floor. And then, she collapsed weakly to the floor, cupping her knees, crying.

“I was kept in the dark.”

She said this.

“I was kept in the dark. Everyone hid this from me! Everyone’s laughing at how I don’t know anything behind my back, looking down on me, gossiping behind my back. What have I done!? I thought everyone was on better terms.”

“…”

“I’m suffering. My Human Power Test grades will definitely slide. If they’re hiding this from me, it means that they don’t want to share secrets with me, right? I’ve been abandoned.”

“Rather than dropping by 100 ranks.”

I expressed my doubt.

“You can’t stand having your Human Power Test rank drop by ten, right?”

“Of course… the peer pressure is heavy… so heavy that it can crush me.”

She picked up the scissors, and kept cutting at her doll.

“Everyone’s saying the same thing. Mom, dad, the teachers, manga, anime, everyone’s saying ‘treasure your friends’. Even if I’m smart, I have to treasure my friends; even if I’m strong, the most important things are my friends. In that case, everyone around me is telling me ‘I’m not willing to become friends with you’—does this mean that I’m hopeless? The Human Power Test—is just an indicator.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Why must I be treated this way? Penalized, envied, discriminated, I had enough of this! I don’t want attention.” She vented her frustrations, “I’m scared of being harassed like last year…”

“…”

“I don’t want to be treated badly, like being glared at, people clicking their tongues at me… they think I deserve having my Human Power Test slide, and they’ll look down on me… this pains me.”

Like a kid, Ishikawa gave a weak voice.

Seeing this, I was feeling peeved.

“I know this…”

I blurted this accidentally, but Ishikawa did not seem to have heard this. With a perplexed look, she looked up at me.

Why are you giving me such a look, Ishikawa? I know your suffering. I did summon my courage to fight that evil, but you didn’t know.

I had an urge to express my dissatisfaction, and thinking about the past, I felt pain inside my heart. However, I saw a few cuts on Ishikawa’s hands, and was left speechless. I thought it was because of inappropriate handling of the scissors that got her hurt. Ishikawa kept exerting force, and the wounds couldn’t heal, her palms becoming red.

Looking down at this, I pointed my fingers at my chest, felt my heartbeat, and continued.

“In that case, just give up.”

I said the words that were stuck in my heart.

“What’s wrong with being trash? What’s wrong with being hated? If you’re going to keep being scared of others, living in pain, you won’t be able to come to school. You might as well ignore your friends; it’s easier for you to live on this world this way.”

“How can I do this?” She ignored my words, and shook her head in pain. “Over the past fourteen years, I have been forcing a smile like a clown, making others laugh with silly antics, living for my friends.”

“But if this keeps up, you’ll crumble, Ishikawa. Didn’t you say that you envy me? I’m worried about you. I…” At that instantly, I was hesitant, but I forced myself to spoke, “But I like you. I don’t want you to continue suffering.”

I tried my best to convey my thoughts to her. My cheeks got hot, and I really wanted to dip head first into icy water. However, this wasn’t the time to think about strange things, so I turned my eyes to her.

For a moment, Ishikawa stopped cutting the doll, and soon intended to pick up the scissors. However, I picked it up, and threw it into the dump. She could only cup her knees and remained still. If not for her wide eyes, I would have assumed that she fell asleep.

I could hear the cries of the baseball club, and soon, I could hear dribbling sounds from the basketball club in the gym. That’s the kind of space we were in, as we remained silent for quite a while. I sat next to Ishikawa, looking up at the sky; the sky was gloomy, like a photo of my youth. Argh, damn it.

After about three minutes or so.

She finally spoke up, “I did envy you, Sugawara…” she said with a vengeance, and then, she corrected herself, “But, I found that I don’t envy you at all.”

I couldn’t understand what those words meant, and could only remain rooted there. Ishikawa stood up, and then gave me a look of pity, saying,

“There’s no way I could have envied you. You’re Sugawara, and looking around the whole world, there’s no one who envies you. Who envies you when you aren’t popular, good at studies or sports, Sugawara?”

“But Ishikawa, you just…”

“That was what I thought, but I was mistaken. You don’t seem happy at all; you always appear to be in pain, living in hell.”

Then, she cried again, and left me.

“Goodbye, Sugawara.”

I couldn’t answer her, and remained rooted at where I was.

There’s a disgusting lone strider trash with autistic social handicaps who was dumped in a matter of moments, and that’s me, Sugawara; I never went home directly. I wanted to go singing alone, and I went to the food corner in the supermarket, begging the attendant, “I’ll pay up, so just throw the food away.” Ishikawa’s words were so shocking that they left me reeling.

“I never expected to be rejected so cruelly!”

Even I would need some time to recover. That’s why I didn’t want to become a normal person. I find that living as trash without hopes for anything as something more suitable to me. A year ago, half a year ago, even now, I realized it painfully.

“Ever since the Earth was created, countless creatures as many as the stars have had sex already! Why am I the only one excluded?”

As the hopeless trash, I always grumbled about such uselessness, and tucked at the fried chicken chunks at the food corner of the supermarket with toothpicks. I had a plate of fried chicken sticks, with mayonnaise dip, so much that it’s brimming from the container. I took a sofa for six, and stuffed the oily bits into my stomach like an interrogation. How am I able to taste anything? I grumbled as I kept cursing the world.

From the bottom of my heart, I was glad that I had no superpowers. If I did, a third of humanity would have died because of my wrath.

As I thought about such unrealistic things, I ripped the chicken chunks with toothpicks.

“Yo, boy.”

A voice called out before me.

I lifted my head, and found a tall and slender woman standing before me. I couldn’t tell if she’s a college student or already a member of society, but she did seem young. The first thing I saw were the long legs most Japanese didn’t have, and then, I looked up, cowed by the sharp eyes.

“E-Erm…” her eyes looked harsh, and I finally realized something.

I didn’t want any trouble, so I hurriedly apologized, “So-sorry, but I have this seat. Pl-please leave.”

“No no no, that’s not what I mean. Do I look like I’m angry?”

Her eyes looked more heinous than before, and she sat down before me. She just looks angry anyway, right?

“I’m just worried about what happened to you.”

“Huh?”

“There’s no way I can ignore a middle school boy crying, right?”

I put my left hand on my cheek, and the water on my face was more than I thought, even somewhat sticky. It seemed I cried lots, and I didn’t dare to look into a mirror.

“Here, have some.” The woman handed me crepes. The pink packaging was wrapped around the skin, and there were a lot of strawberries inside, “You’ll feel like eating something sweet after eating just salty stuff, right?”

The cream of the crepes nearly touched my chest, and I hurriedly accepted it, thanking her.

“I just got rejected. It’s common.”

I simply explained to her. I could ignore her, but I would just think of it as thanks for the crepes.

“Like I said, I was just naïve. Just failed at that.”

“Oh, so you’re so innocent.”

“No, the motives are thoroughly impure. We’ve only spoken once or twice, but I hardly speak to the opposite sex, and had my own thoughts, got careless, and confessed, and then I got dumped. I’m just trash, feeling awkward talking about this.”

“Oh.” She seemed disinterested, and then said, “Right, the chicken you ate couldn’t sell at all. It seemed ramen alone would have been boring, so the owner came up with a new dish, but it’s not popular at all.”

“Oh…”

“I dropped by here every day in high school, and the owner always complained about this to me. It just feels like I’m the only one who likes coming here to have fried chicken every day.”

“Eh.”

“So today, I get to know a comrade who loves eating fried chicken too. I’m touched.”

Saying that, she looked back and forth between me and the fried chicken, “As proof of our friendship, can I have one?” She pleaded me. Did she just want one? I handed her a toothpick, and she placed a mayonnaise-dipped chicken into her mouth.

Looking pleased, she wiped her mouth with the napkin on the table, “In other words,” and added,

“Even if the motives are impure, the outcome tragic, it doesn’t mean that it’s all meaningless. I love fried chicken, and I know someone else who does. Even though the owner does think of it as a failure, this fact won’t change; so you don’t need to lower yourself.”

It seemed this was what she wanted to tell me. I didn’t know what she meant at all, but thinking hard about it, the logic was weird.

“Thanks for the encouragement… but unfortunately, I don’t have any lucky encounters like snatching other people’s fried chicken or something.”

“Isn’t snatching too much of a word? It’s a show of friendship.”

“Anyway, there’s nothing meaningful that happened to me.”

“Oh, but you’re crying because you got rejected. Don’t you find it meaningful too?”

She didn’t seem to mind as she continued.

But to me, it was an unexpected outcome.

“Over the past fourteen years, I’ve never had any hopes for others,” I said. “I’m bad at studies and grades, I can’t really talk much with people, never been praised for anything I did. I don’t want to be hurt, so I continue living on this world without hopes for anything. How’s someone like me supposed to hope anything for others?”

“I don’t care about the motive or process. I just admit your courage.”

The moment I heard those words, I got up immediately. I wanted to get away at that instant.

“…You can finish the rest.”

“Hm? Really? There’s a lot.”

“It’s fine… you gave me crepes after all.”

After that, I asked a question I was always wondering about.

“Are you Sou?”

“Ah? Eh? Ah? I’m Sayo.”

So I was mistaken. Of course, that guy never treated me so kindly like this lady.

I bowed to her, and turned to leave.

I knew nothing about Ishikawa.

However, there was one thing I knew.

Ishikawa was harassed before. She was scared of gaining attention from standing out too much. Despite this, she summoned her courage to talk to this lonely me.

I did have impure thoughts. My mind’s full of sex, and who knew how many times I masturbated while imagining her. I’m just a hopeless trash of a middle school boy, who had feelings completely distant from innocence.

But despite this, the indisputable fact was that I hoped to see Ishikawa smile, to protect her as she cried and shivered. And even till this point, I harbored such thoughts, that nobody, including me, could deny this thought.

So I decided to launch the revolution.

“I want happiness.”

The world was already dyed a scarlet red as I left the shopping mall. The skies remained cloudy, but the clouds seemed to be dyed with various colors. Under the scorching scenery, I continued walking in the middle of the road. The cooling wind blew at my hair.

And then, I said my thoughts out loud,

“I want happiness as trash. Even if I’m last in the Human Power Test, I want to keep smiling. I want to donate to developing countries from a position high up. I don’t want to be scolded, and I won’t bother others even if I’m humiliated. While I’m peer-pressured into strong-arming others, I’m just going to sit back and watch. If I’m cursed with misfortune, I’m going to live a happier life. When I’m cursed by the entire world to be jailed, I won’t commit a crime. I’m going to live happily.”

This was the last time I cried.

I continued moving towards happiness. I gobbled down the crepes in large bites, and held the remaining packaging.

“And then, I’m going to create a classroom Ishikawa and others can smile in. I’m going to show that trash can be happy. If Ishikawa said that school is hell, I’m going to destroy this. I’m going to destroy this Human Power Test.”

I recalled the cramped classroom. Masaya, Ninomiya, Setoguchi, Komuro, Tsuda, Watabe, Ishikawa, Katou, those friends.

And I made up my mind.

“I’m going to be real, authentic trash.”

This was the one decision Taku Sugawara made in life.

Right, let’s revise this again.

If you had forgotten, please allow me to repeat, my story’s to be read in a ‘mocking’ manner. It’s just that simple.

So please look down on the shallow hopes and dreams of this middle school boy. Just make fun of me.

If anyone tried to stop me at this point, the ending to this story would have been greatly different.

But I decided to start this revolutionary war.

No matter the price I have to pay.

Even if I have to be abandoned by everyone, even if I have to be an enemy of the entire world.

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| Back to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu:Chapter_3|Chapter 3]]
| Return to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Tada,_Sore_Dake_de_Yokattan_Desu:Chapter_5|Chapter 5]]
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</noinclude>

User:Aardvark

2017-09-30T18:57:49Z

Aardvark:

Editor for Mittens' Hataraku Maou-Sama!, Frozen's and Nazo's Majo no Tabitabi, Nazo's Yuusha no Segare, HayateButler's Re:Zero, Hellping's Clockwork Planet, Hellping's Tade, Sore Dake, and Hellping's 86.

Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu

2017-07-23T16:06:55Z

Aardvark: /* Editors */ Aard coming on board

<vote type=1 /><small>{{furigana|'''Do you follow this series? Rate it!'''|Only available to registered users. [[Special:CreateAccount|Register here]]}}</small><br>

'''''Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattandesu''''' (ただ、それだけでよかったんです) is a single volume light novel written by Ryoya Matsumura and illustrated by Miho Takeoka.

[[Image:TadaA.jpg|thumb|300px]]

==Story Synopsis==
<center>On the will left behind by the 14 year old suicide victim K:</center>

<center>"Taku Sugawara is the devil. Nobody should believe his words."</center>

==Translation==
=== [[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Registration Page|Registration]] ===
Translators are asked to [[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Registration Page|register]] for chapters they want to work on.

=== Feedback ===
'''The series is currently hosted and translated [http://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/novel-translation-tada-sore-dake-de-yokanttan-desu.18718/ HERE].'''
'''Future updates will also be posted here on Baka-Tsuki.'''

== Story ==

<table border=0 cellpadding=0><tr><td>
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Illustrations|Illustrations]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 1|Chapter 1 - The Devil's True Form]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 2|Chapter 2 - Nobody Else Knows]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 3|Chapter 3 - Secret Weapon]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 4|Chapter 4 - Revolution]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 5|Chapter 5 - Biggest Happiness]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 6|Chapter 6 - Murder]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Interlude|Interlude - Youtube 'TK's easy cooking' Freetalk on December 5th]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 7|Chapter 7 - The Final Puzzle Piece]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 8|Chapter 8 - Judgement]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Interlude2|Interlude 2- LINE]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 9|Chapter 9 - Revolution Eve]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Interlude3|Interlude 3- Twitter Search]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Chapter 10|Chapter 10 - Eve of the Revolution]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Epilogue|Epilogue - At the End of the World]]
*[[Tada, Sore Dake de Yokattan Desu:Afterword|Afterword]]
</td></tr></table><br style="clear:both"/>

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: N/A
*Project Manager: [[User:Teh_Ping|Teh Ping]]

===Translators===
::[[User:Teh_Ping|Teh Ping]]

===Editors===
All editors who speak English proficiently are welcome.
::[[User:Aardvark|Aardvark]]

== Series Overview ==
*ただ、それだけでよかったんです / That Alone would have Been Good Enough (April 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4048657624 )

[[Category:Teaser Project]]
[[Category:Oneshot]]
[[Category:Hosted Projects]]

User:Aardvark

2017-02-11T13:15:59Z

Aardvark: Created page with "Editor for Hataraku Maou-Sama!, Majo no Tabitabi, Re:Zero (by Hayate), and Clockwork Planet."

Editor for Hataraku Maou-Sama!, Majo no Tabitabi, Re:Zero (by Hayate), and Clockwork Planet.

Clockwork Planet

2017-02-10T20:53:04Z

Aardvark: /* Staff */

<vote type=1 /><small>{{furigana|'''Do you follow this series? Rate it!'''|Only available to registered users. [[Special:CreateAccount|Register here]]}}</small><br>

[[Image:Clockwork Planet Cover Vol01.jpg|300px|thumb|Volume 01 cover.]]

'''Clockwork Planet'''(クロックワーク・プラネット) is a light novel series by author [[:Category:Yuu Kamiya|Yuu Kamiya]] and [[:Category:Tsubaki Himana|Tsubaki Himana]] and illustrated by Shino. It has an ongoing manga adaptation illustrated by Kuro.

The series is ongoing, and currently has 4 volumes.

==Story Synopsis==

The Earth had died a thousand years ago. It was rebuilt using gears by a mysterious man named "Y". In the present, while Naoto Miura is living his life as a high school student and a gear enthusiast, a box crashed into his home. In the box, is an beautiful automata girl, RyuZU. This encounter would then have a profound effect on both Naoto and Society itself.

==Alternative Languages==
''Clockwork Planet'' is also available in the following languages:
*[[Clockwork Planet (Italiano)|Clockwork Planet ~ Italiano ]]

==Translation==

==='''[[Clockwork Planet:Registration|Registration]]'''===

To avoid overlapping work, please use the registration page to claim the chapters you would like to translate

===Format Standards===
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must confirm to the general format guidelines.'''
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]
*[[Clockwork Planet:Names|Names]] - Standard translations for the characters' names.
*If units are encountered, please keep them in the SI units. Please keep monetary units in Yen.

==Updates==

*June 25th Volume 3 Prologue Pt1(unedited) added
*June 26th Volume 3 Prologue Pt2(unedited) added
*July 4th Volume 3 Prologue Pt3(unedited) added

==The ''Clockwork Planet'' series by Tsubaki Himana and Yuu Kamiya==
The <span class="plainlinks">[http://myanimelist.net/manga/55887/Clockwork_Planet ''Clockwork Planet''] series by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuu_Kamiya Yuu Kamiya] and Tsubaki Himana</span>

[https://rektnovelcompilations.wordpress.com/clockwork-planet/ PDF/Epubs]
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 750px; height: 350px; float: left;"
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<div style="float: left;">
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<div style="margin: 10px; margin-top: -5px;">

==='''Volume 1''' ([[Clockwork Planet:Volume1|Full Text]])===
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue - Re-Construct]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Chapter 1|Chapter 1 - Coincidence (00:30)]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Chapter 2|Chapter 2 - Complication (03:18)]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Chapter 3|Chapter 3 - Conflict (11:45)]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Chapter 4|Chapter 4 - Conquistador (19:30)]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue - 00:00]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]
</div>
</div>
|}

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<div style="float: left;">
| valign="top" |
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==='''Volume 2''' ([[Clockwork Planet:Volume2|Full Text]])===

::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue - Back Sweeper]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Chapter 1|Chapter 1 - 14:30 – Goober]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Chapter 2|Chapter 2 - 18:10 – Searcher]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Chapter 3|Chapter 3 - 23:20 Avenger]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Chapter 4|Chapter 4 - 00:00 Returner]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Interlude|Interlude - Out-breaker]]
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume2 Afterword|Afterword]]
</div>
</div>
|}

{| class="wikitable" style="width: 750px; height: 350px; float: left;"
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| style="width:180px;" | [[Image:Clockwork Planet Cover Vol03.jpg|thumb|200px|text-top|Vol3 Cover]] <br>
<div style="float: left;">
| valign="top" |
<div style="margin: 10px; margin-top: -5px;">

==='''Volume 3'''===
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
::*Interlude
::*Chapter 1
::*Chapter 2
::*Chapter 3
::*Chapter 4
::*Epilogue
::*Afterword
</div>
</div>
|}

{| class="wikitable" style="width: 750px; height: 350px; float: left;"
|-
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| style="width:180px;" | [[Image:Clockwork Planet Cover Vol04.jpg|thumb|200px|text-top|Vol4 Cover]] <br>
<div style="float: left;">
| valign="top" |
<div style="margin: 10px; margin-top: -5px;">

==='''Volume 4'''===
::*[[Clockwork Planet:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
::*Prologue
::*Chapter 1
::*Chapter 2
::*Chapter 3
::*Chapter 4
::*Epilogue
::*Afterword
</div>
</div>
|}

<br style="clear:both"/>

=='''Staff'''==

'''Project Manager'''
*[[User:Teh Ping|Teh Ping]] <span style=float:right;margin-right:25px;>Main site: [http://hellping.org/clockwork-planet/HELLPING]</span>

==='''Translators'''===
*[[User:Teh Ping|Teh Ping]]

==='''Editors'''===
*[[User:Aardvark|Aardvark]]

== Series Overview ==
* クロックワーク・プラネット1 - April 02, 2013 ISBN 978-4-06-375293-9
* クロックワーク・プラネット2 - November 29, 2013 ISBN 978-4-06-375348-6
* クロックワーク・プラネット3 - October 31, 2014 ISBN 978-4-06-381415-6
* クロックワーク・プラネット4 - December 29, 2015 ISBN 978-4-06-381508-5

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]