Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Atsushi Kogure

2013-09-03T12:51:23Z

Agar9691:

===1===

My heart explodes and comes bursting out of my mouth.

In the eyes of everyone else in this shopping district by the station, nothing special happened. However, ''I'' have made a horrifying discovery.

Within the crowd of strangers that walk the streets, I have found ''her'' whom I will never forget.

Burst by an unbearable shock, my pieces stick to all my surroundings. The hundreds of shreds that I have spit out scowl at her from all sides. Noticing my gazes, ''she'' finds my main body and looks at it.

And—smiles.

Her smile leaves me so thunderstruck that I can't even break down—I just freeze. It's like her smile made away with the very concept of time, let alone my feelings that completely vanished at the sight of her.

The girl before my eyes stands aloof from the world. At the very least, I know that she has no proper moral values.

I am being devoured by her existence.

Only after she goes away am I able to breathe again. I confirm that my emotional perception is still intact, and finally feel alive again.

Right. I—

I ''detest'' that girl.

She has stolen ''everything'' from me.

No matter how special and transcendental she is, that doesn't make her sins any lighter.

I won't forgive her. I will absolutely not forgive her. I won't ever forgive her, the cold-blooded killer of my family.

I won't forgive Reina Kamisu!

===2===

"You met Reina Kamisu?" my doctor asks in wonderment when I tell him about my encounter with that monster.

"Yes. I ran across her. That killer."

"Reina Kamisu..."

I may have called him doctor, but Doctor Mihara doesn't fit the common image of one. He is a sociable, young psychiatrist and actually still in his twenties.

"Are you sure it was not a dream?"

"It was real! She walked past me before my very eyes! She even noticed me and laughed at me!"

"Hm..." Doctor Mihara folds his arms as he notices that I'm dead serious.

My family was murdered by Reina Kamisu.

To this day it is unknown why she broke into our house and stabbed everyone except me; she didn't steal anything, nor was there a grudge I know of. She hadn't made any threats in advance, either, nor did she seem to enjoy it. In contrary, she seemed to be very intelligent and to have no relation with drugs and the like. In fact, I failed to find a stain in her personality.

But it is for a fact that she killed my family.

Their lives vanished so easily.

I used to think that human lives are special—nothing like the fishes we once dissected at school. The idea of human life and its supposed value used to be huge and boundless in my young mind. In fact, on the assumption that only humans have minds, I still think that our lives are of great value.

However—it's possible to take someone's life with the same knife that you slice open a fish with.

Confronted with that absurd fact as a mere 10-year old boy, I was shattered.

I do have a wound in my chest—due to Reina Kamisu, of course—that is quite grotesque. One of the kind that makes people grimace.

However, the problem with that wound isn't that it scares everyone. The problem is that it is still a wound and not a scar. It's still a gaping wound, and it's going to stay that way. But instead of blood, it's my very own self that is being bled out. "Something" that is needed to live. I'm dwindling. Ever-dwindling.

I'm still breaking bit by bit.

"Atsushi-kun," my doctor addresses me with a serious look.

"Yes?"

"We're out of time for today, but can I ask you to tell me more about this in our next meeting?"

"Yes, of course."

I was planning to do so anyway.

Besides, the only way to fix me is to go against Reina Kamisu; to learn the truth about her; to—understand her.

Can I win against that monster? The odds are against me, I'm afraid. I'm going to lose. I'm going to keep dwindling.

Just like a black hole, there are times when uncalled-for feelings absorb the obvious and make you blind. Therefore, if I want to oppose her, I must seal my emotions—which consist mostly of hatred—away. Thinking back at the outburst of emotions that I experienced when I ran across her the other day, I can imagine how hard that is.

However, no matter how hard the fight against that monster turns out to be, there is no risk for me. I've sunken to the lowest point already. While it is hard to fight my way up, I can't fall any lower.

Therefore, I won't waver to fight.

"I won't lose!"

"Against whom...?" Doctor Mihara asks, still serious.

"Against me, of course, and against Reina Kamisu."

He maintains a pensive look and seems to be groping for words. In the end, he just mutters, "I see..."

The following day, I headed to school like always despite my decision to fight against Reina Kamisu. Truth be told, I would rather look around for her than attend my classes, but added to the fact that I have no clues except for spotting her in town, I don't want to bother my aunt.

Unlike my uncle, she is treating me really well. I suppose the fact that they don't have any own children adds to this, but she is looking after me like I were her real son... maybe even more so ''because'' I'm not her real son. There's no discontent. There's no discontent... but there is pressure. I feel that I absolutely mustn't and can't sadden my aunt, since she is obliged to look after me as well.

I arrive at school and notice that our classroom is remarkably noisy.

Puzzled, I catch Yuuji Kato, who happened to stand nearby and is on comparatively good terms with me. I ask, "What's the matter?"

"Suicide's the matter, dude! Suicide!"

"What? But that was, like, last week, no? Did we learn something new about Saito's suicide?" I ask as I toss my bag onto my desk.

Since she was a person who we would see every day at school, Saito's death came quite as a shock for us. While she didn't have any friends—she was even suspected to have stolen from a classmate—there were still students who mourned for her. Surprisingly though, it wasn't until she died that a few guys came our of their shells and confessed with teary eyes that they had actually been fond of her because she had an "modest" personality unlike most girls nowadays. Saito must have quite mixed feelings up there in heaven, since that personality of hers is what drove her to suicide.

"Are you still making a fuss about that story? Why don't you leave her alone already? I'm sure that she... wouldn't like being the center of attention," I mention to him.

"You're completely off the mark, man."

"What do you mean?"

"This is not about Saito, you know?"

"Then who committed suicide?"

Yuuji looks at a certain desk and says, "Kimura."

Before classes started, all students of our school were summoned to the gym for an emergency speech, where the school director bored us with a lengthy speech on "the value of life."

While listening with half an ear to what he has to say, I start making my own thoughts about the incident.

It seems like Saito, Mizuhara, and the other people concerned didn't know, but anyone who was either somewhat familiar with Kimura or has enough brains, like me, was aware that Kimura was really the culprit of the stolen wallet incident.

It was a well-known fact among us guys that Kimura had a crush on Mizuhara, and that he was turned down when he confessed to her. She told him that she had no plans of dating anyone in the near future. A few days later, however, she and Ashizawa became a couple.

Needless to say, she only used that phrase to turn Kimura down because she wanted to avoid being too direct, and he must have been aware of that. Nonetheless, Kimura's feelings were hurt. Thoroughly. He must have thought that he was inferior to Ashizawa—a complete drop-out—in Mizuhara's eyes. Starting from then, everything he said and everything he did was underlined with a subtle tone of self-deprecation.

I can see why he would want to damage the present Ashizawa gave to Mizuhara. In fact, I think a little payback like that is very much tolerable. However, he knew that he would be the obvious culprit if he executed that resentful plan of his.

Therefore, he was in need of a suspect other than himself. And he found one in Saito, who just happened to be made a fool of by Mizuhara.

At a glance, Kimura did his job well; at the very least, he managed to trick his main targets—Mizuhara and her group—into believing his lie.

However, in effect he failed horribly.

He didn't take into consideration how much his actions would hurt Saito's feelings because he was too focused on how to force the blame onto her. But his greatest mistake was not to take into consideration how much his own feelings would be hurt by hurting Saito's.

His revenge inflicted a lethal wound on Saito. Maybe that's not entirely accurate. Maybe he only touched a sore point of Saito's that was already lethal anyway. Nevertheless, Kimura considered himself responsible for her death.

Kimura hurt Saito, and that fact hurt himself. Both of those wounds were lethal, and both of those wounds ended in death. Like... like my own wound.

At last, the school director ends his speech after more than a full hour. I do understand his concern, but that doesn't make it any more worthwhile.

Seriously... he doesn't get that a sermon is not going to achieve anything. We all know perfectly well that one must not commit suicide. And yet there are times when the world we live in becomes so tough on us that we play with the thought. Therefore, it's useless to appeal to ethics; he ought to go with a more practical and concrete approach. If I were to stop suicide, I would do it like this: "Dying means falling into an eternal state of nothingness, a perfect void that can't be conceived by anything that is alive. Just think about it: your brain goes away. You do not have any thought anymore. Surely, you've heard of the phrase 'I think, thus I am,' no? Give it some careful thought. Nothing exists. Do you get this? Nothing exists. How many seconds could you endure being in a world without sound, without light, and without any kind of sensation? A world where you don't even get hungry. Where you have no desires at all. Can you follow me? But death is a perfect void, so it exceeds even such a sensation-less world. There is no future. Heaven is just a construct people who fear death made up. You should know why there will always be people who believe in a world after death despite the advent of science; it's because they are scared. Scared of what waits beyond death. So, don't think ending your own life will save you! It simply ends. It E-N-D-S. Suicide is the act of killing yourself, and dying without comprehending the meaning of death is but escaping from reality. Although the result is the same in both cases. All right, come on. Try to kill yourself if you can; try to kill yourself now that you've learned the truth."

At the very least, I couldn't kill myself.

After all, the only reason why I'm here now is because I'm more afraid of death than most.

Ah, right, there was a nice little twist to this story:

"Actually, I heard Kimura left behind a suicide note," Yuuji tells me.

"A suicide note? Did he apologize to Saito or something?"

"Exactly."

"Well, that should cheer her up a little, I guess?"

"No, I think it'll have quite the opposite effect."

"Hm...? Well, sure, I wouldn't want anyone to commit suicide because of me either."

"That's not the problem," he objects.

"What do you mean?"

"Kimura got her name wrong."

Oh.

After school ended (classes did take place, but everyone was somewhat absent in mind) I headed to the shopping district where I had come across Reina Kamisu.

There's no guarantee that I will find her again just because I saw her once, but that's the only clue I have. I originally thought I would be able to get my hands on some data since I'm the victim of the incident, but it's not that simple. Especially for juvenile crimes.

Should Reina Kamisu walk past me, I won't miss her. That's not only because I've carved her appearance into my memory over and over: She is special in anyone's eyes. She is absurdly beautiful.

"..."

However, an event-less hour passed. Having stood all the while because there was no place to sit, my legs got a bit tired. I decided to tolerate moving away from this place a bit and went to the next McDonalds, grabbed myself two burgers (everything else is too expensive for the purse of a middle school student) and sat down by the window.

While munching at my burger, I start thinking about Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu. Back when the incident happened, she was 16 years old (meaning that she was only one year older than I am now), so her present age should be 21. Did she get a job? Maybe she's enrolled in an university. She probably couldn't graduate from high school because of everything she did, but she should be smart enough to make it through the entrance exams of an university. Even though she killed my entire family, she was hardly punished at all because her completely incomprehensible motive got her diagnosed "mentally unstable". I bet now she's worshiped like an idol at her workplace or at university. The murderous idol. Haha, what a catchphrase!

"Tch...!"

The wound in my chest starts to pain. According to Dr. Mihara, this pain is just a product of my mind since the wound has already healed.

Dammit! You think this is only mental? An illusion? Don't mess with me, Doc! This pain isn't fake; no way it is!

The wound ''is'' bleeding. I may be the only one who can see the blood, but it's definitely blood—and I'm the liquid (or something similar to a liquid).

Ah, damn, I know! I'm not making sense. I'm just digging a hole for myself.

But as a matter of fact—the wound hasn't healed.

And it still hurts.

===3===

The perceptive faculties of a human have a certain capacity; our brains are like computers and can only process up to a certain amount of data. When there is an overflow of information, they stop working correctly and start churning out error messages.

The sight before my eyes deprives me of any emotional impulse.

There is a corpse; my mom's corpse. There is a corpse; my dad's corpse. There is a corpse; my sister's corpse. The floor is covered by a pool of blood. Whoa, how am I supposed to walk on a floor that's so drenched? No, that's not the problem here, is it? Whoa-whoa, they're dead, no? You gotta be kidding me. This isn't some TV drama. Such brutal deaths do not happen around me. That being said, this looks pretty real. Haha, hey, this is getting out of hand. I can't believe it. And what's with that girl there? Who the fuck is that incredibly pretty girl? What's with that knife—that blood-drenched knife—she's carrying? Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! It was YOU? Despite that pretty face of yours? Hold on a sec! Don't mess with me! Who allowed you to kill my family? Who are you, anyway? Who are you?! Who the fuck are you?!

"As I thought..."

What's ''as you thought''?! You're strange! You're nuts!

"People die when you stab them."

Of course they do. Every child knows that. Everyone knows that, although no one actually verifies it.

Right. My family died.

Died?

Yeah, they died...right?

They died. Yeah, they died. D-I-E-D.

"A...ah..." I finally start to moan.

They're lying on the floor. My mom, my dad, my sister, they're all lying on the floor, inanimate. I was watching TV until a few moments ago. I went upstairs because they got angry with me because I'd kicked my sister. Has that become a scene of the past? Has that girl stolen it from me? Is that even possible? Can she even do that?

"Do you want to die, too?"

She can. That girl can do it.

"Uh...UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Help me help me help me! HELP ME, mom! Ah, she's dead! Anyone! Anyone help me!

I fall on my rear and crawl backward, literally wetting my pants. Of course I can't escape like this, but I can't stand up either.

She draws closer.

"S-Stop it..."

However, my words fall on deaf ears. Aiming the knife at me, she draws closer.

And then she wields it.

"Stop it! STOOOOOOOP!"

And then I wake up like always.

I let out a sigh as I sip my miso soup.

"My, Atsuhi, why are you sighing when the day has only started?" my aunt reproaches me lightly with a smile and puts a plate with a fried egg before me.

"I had that dream again..." I answer as I put some soy sauce on the egg.

"I see. They've become frequent lately."

"Yeah."

"Oh dear...why does that girl have a grudge against you?"

A grudge. Had her motive been so simple and reasonable, I wouldn't be as broken as I am now.

"Maybe you're a little antsy because your admission exams are just around the corner?" she says in an unusual worried tone. She's worried; in other words, I'm worrying her.

This is bad. I mustn't worry her even more when she's already worried about my being under mental treatment.

"Ahaha, but I haven't even started studying?" I laugh as I hold my chest.

"You haven't? I think that's pretty problematic, too!"

When my aunt said so, I could read the words "thank god my fears were groundless" from her face.

Groundless fears. Right, her fears should have been groundless.

However, it is a fact that the dream has unsettled me more than it would usually do.

I started having that nightmare after that incident happened. During the first month, I was tormented by it every night, and every time I was, I was so unsettled that I could not eat anything.

But you get used to any nightmare with time: lately, I would only think of it as a "bad dream."

However, today it's different. Not only did she wound me in my dream, she also wounded me in reality again.

I hold my chest.

My nightmare has leaked into reality and is attacking me from there. That's all because I've run across Reina Kamisu the other day. That nightmare isn't just a nightmare; it's my past that keeps tormenting me.

By coming across Reina Kamisu, my nightmare has acquired reality. She is using it as a portal to attack me.

Again and again, she will attack me.

Now, how long will my heart be able to endure it?

I enter the classroom, just to get surprised almost as much as yesterday.

Ashizawa had his head shaved, abandoning his long, brown hair.

I doubt that one of the teachers in charge of common decency forced him to do that; they wouldn't go that far. It must have been his own will.

Ashizawa has been in low spirits lately, which is, needless to say, because he is blaming himself for Saito's death. Back when the wallet he gave to Mizuhara was damaged, he got so angry with Saito that he pushed her into a corner and intimidated her.

I was there when it happened and observed them, planning to step in if he were to get rough...no, I don't know if I really intended to intervene. Perhaps, I only pretended to be worried about her. Anyway, I observed them without doing anything.

Only after looking at Ashizawa's shaved head, my conscience starts to prickle me.

I don't know how much that incident took part in Saito's death, but I'm sure that it did have an effect. It's another aspect that drove her into suicide.

But what if there'd been someone who tried to help Saito when she was surrounded by Ashizawa and his pals? What if she'd had a comrade who didn't care about the pressure Ashizawa applied? Wouldn't the outcome have been different? Aren't we, who hesitated to stand up for Saito, the real sinners?

That "comrade" could have been me.

Ashizawa has inflicted an evident punishment upon himself like a real delinquent. As thoughtless and pointless as that punishment may be, he did produce proof of his remorse.

And what about us? We're denying any responsibility and try to discount the matter with some pity. It's not Ashizawa or Kimura or Mizuhara who cornered Saito, but us who tried to stay away from her to the bitter end.

Suddenly, a question crosses my mind.

Come to think of it—

Didn't Saito call someone's name for help?

Even the lunch break was occupied with the subject of Saito and Kimura because Ashizawa's shaved head was so eye-catching. Because of the great sympathy for Saito that fills the air (they all seem to feel guilty), Takatsuki and her colleagues are in an awkward position, being the ones who blamed Saito.

I have eaten up my boxed lunch and am observing my class, my elbow rested on my desk.

Ashizawa looks like a monk, and Takatsuki's group are looking like cats in an unfamiliar house. Wondering how Mizuhara herself is doing, I look at her.

Her fairly pretty face looks even more exhausted than before. She must be aware of the central part she has played in both Saito's and Kimura's suicide.

As I make this observation, she turns to me and our eyes meet.

I quickly avert my gaze to feign ignorance, but her gaze remains fixed on me. "Never mind me!" I shout in my mind as I confirm that I'm still being watched.

However, my silent shout remained unheard; she stands up and walks toward my seat.

"Kogure-kun."

Now she called my name. Looks like it wasn't a coincidence or because she noticed my gaze that she looked at me.

"So...What's the matter, Mizuhara?" I ask as I raise my head, visibly annoyed.

"You're smart, aren't you? I mean, you're always the number one in this class and you are among the best in our school year, right?"

"You're talking about my grades, but there's a difference between being smart and having good grades."

Mizuhara is dumbstruck for a moment, but eventually picks up again, "...But you're the only one I can think of to talk about this. Can you spare me a moment, please?"

"I think there are enough other people who could give you better advice."

"Mmm...I'm not exactly looking for advice. Let's not talk about it here—come this way."

Mizuhara pulls me by my sleeve. Looks like she insists on talking with me.

"Whoa, hold your horses, now. Ashizawa's going to get angry when he sees us together."

"He won't."

"Oh, really? He must be quite forgiving then."

"No, we've...split up."

Surprised, I freeze for an instant.

"Ah...I see," I say in a deliberately disinterested voice, but my expression just now has given me away.

But now that I think about it, there's nothing to be so surprised about. While the love experienced in middle school might be blind and grand, it's also transitory. Their bonds weren't strong enough to withstand the obstacles brought upon them—that's all.

And those bonds ruined Kimura.

Oh well.

Mizuhara led me to the stairway landing before the door to the roof. These stairs are hardly used, so there probably won't be any uninvited visitors. She must have used this place to secretly meet up with Ashizawa.

"We came here from time to time. Toshiki and I."

There you have it.

"You...you know about the fake love letter I teased Saito-san with, right?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Did you ever wonder why I did that?"

"Nope, not at all? I assumed that you simply couldn't stand Saito, and I don't think there's a deeper reason to find there."

"Perhaps...that's true...but I, I also wanted to help—"

"I don't care. Spare me that story."

That's just an excuse she made up.

"No, hear me out! To tell the truth...we once saw her when we met up here."

"Really...? What kind of business did Saito have here?"

"That's the problem...she was mumbling things to herself."

"To herself?"

"Yes, to herself, but as if talking with someone. I tried following her glance a few times, but there was no one there."

That's not ''that'' noteworthy; Saito had no one to talk with, so it makes sense that she would vent her desire to talk when she was alone.

"And you found that to be creepy, so you teased her?" I conclude.

"I did think it was creepy, that's true..."

I see. I can understand that Mizuhara would want to intervene after coming across such a scene.

"So? That's not why you brought me here, is it?"

"No..." She hesitates for a moment. "Kogure-kun...do you believe in ghosts?"

The conversation takes a sudden turn.

"Ghosts? No idea. Well, I do think they might exist, since so many people claim that they do..."

"How about evil spirits?"

"Bullshit."

Wait, wait, why does Mizuhara ask things like that? What's the meaning behind those absurd questions?

—Whoa-whoa, is she implying that Saito was talking with a ghost? Time to come down to earth, no?

I barely manage to hold my thoughts in.

...No, don't jump to conclusions. Mizuhara said she was put off by the sight of Saito talking to herself. She wouldn't have felt disgust if that ghost-story was her first impression, but something like fear or maybe even envy, right?

Does that mean that there is something that made her come to the conclusion that Saito was talking with a ghost?

"You're implying that Saito was talking to a ghost?"

Mizuhara nods.

"How did you arrive at that thought?"

Mizuhara lapses into silence. It seems like she fears that by putting her thoughts into words, she will make them definite.

However, she opens her mouth at last.

"Because...," she mutters something, "...died..."

"Because Saito died? How does that explain anything?"

"No!" Mizuhara objects.

"What? She talked with a ghost and that's why she died? That makes no—"

"That's not it! Not because Saito-san died!"

"But who—"

I think. No, there's no need to think. There's only one other person that comes into question.

"Not Saito-san, but because Kimura-kun died."

I have to admit that I'm a little confused.

This doesn't make sense. Not only does she suggest the existence of something unscientific like ghosts, she is also talking back and forth incoherently.

I carefully sort everything in my head, thinking every point through logically, and arrive at the conclusion surprisingly fast.

"So...you saw him, right?"

She nods slowly.

"You saw Saito talking with that something, which by itself would have simply made her an oddball. But you also saw Kimura do the same thing."

Mizuhara nods.

I pause and take a look around. Should ghosts really exist, then I wouldn’t be surprised to find one here. That thought sends a cold shiver down my spine, but of course that’s just my imagination playing tricks on me.

However, as a matter of fact, someone died on the other side of this door.

"Do you...do you think such a coincidence is possible?" Mizuhara asks reluctantly.

"What do you refer to when you say 'coincidence'...?"

"Like I said... Saito-san and Kimura-kun, they both talked to a ghost, they both saw a ghost, and they both committed suicide. Do you think that such a coincidence is possible?"

Coincidence.

She's right; this would be a strange coincidence. However, not only did they have a proper reason for suicide, there's also no doubt that they ended their lives of their own free will.

To begin with, there is causal relation between their deaths: Kimura wouldn't have died if not for Saito's death. Their deaths aren't caused by a coincidence.

Hold on...

There is no place for a coincidence there. In other words, it's the absence of a coincidence that makes that whatever suspicious.

"You have doubts, too, don’t you, Kogure-kun?" Mizuhara points out. I quickly hide my expression. "Know what I think?" she asks, "I think that neither of them actually committed suicide."

Her face is as pale as clay. At last, I realize that it's not feelings of guilt that have exhausted her so much.

Mizuhara is scared.

The fear of whatever drove the other two into death is wearing her down.

"They were killed," she says with fearful conviction, "A ghost cursed them to death."

Like yesterday, I began looking out for Reina Kamisu while drinking a discounted milkshake at a McDonalds.

However, while my eyes were directed at the window, nearly all of my internal wires were used up for thought.

I had since been recalling that discussion with Mizuhara several times, trying to draw my own conclusions.

I have no means of knowing what that ''whatever'' she was calling a "ghost" is, but granted that that "phenomenon" is capable of communication, it can get into contact with others and thus effect their lives to a certain degree.

That effect killed those two?

''Cursed to death.''

Well, perhaps you can call that a "curse" of sorts.

But is it so easy to lead someone to death? No way. No matter how light you make of life and death, everyone knows that death is final and unrecoverable. People's words do not kill you; it's your own voice within that leads you there. Or an abrupt impulse. At any rate, people don't die that easily.

Or does it, ''whatever it is'', have the power to manipulate these mechanisms with ease?

On the other hand...they both had a valid reason for suicide. While words are useless against your average Joe, it might well be possible to give someone with suicidal tendencies the final push.

However, I shake my head.

I'm losing touch with reality; I should think it through more rational.

Rational thinking. R-a-t-i-o-n-a-l. Got that down? ...Yeah.

Right... first of all, I should consider the possibility that everything Mizuhara told me was just a product of her imagination. In my personal view, she is an opinionated girl.

She knows that she shares the guilt for Saito and Kimura's death. Perhaps, she was unable to take the blame and therefore tried to escape by reading a reason into Kimura's talking with air, which in turn she made up either from scratch or by misinterpreting a normal conversation to her own convenience.

In other words, that ''being'' does not exist to begin with.

How's that? Doesn't that make much more sense?

...Tch. What a pathetic attempt to push reason into this affair.

Unconvinced by my own reasoning, I try to focus on the other side of the window and end up scaring a few pedestrians with a piercing glare.

"What are you looking at so hard?" someone asks from behind me.

I am about to kindly explain that I am looking for someone—

—But my words get stuck in my throat and are pushed back down until they evaporate entirely.

My skin crawls.

Something drips down from my finger tips as my mouth turns into a desert and my eyeballs are exposed to the air.

"—Ah."

I know...

I know that voice.

Even though I have only heard it a few times, it has burnt itself deep into my brain and won't leave me ever since.

"What's wrong? Won't you tell me what you're looking at?"

It pains.

The wound in my chest pains.

Fully opened again, it overflows with a liquid resembling blood —as if to react to its creator.

I mustn't, lose.

I hold my chest and turn around to the visitor with an iron will.

Something pierces through my eyes as I recognize her face, making me fight against the urge to close my eyes, to avert my eyes.

However, I have been waiting for this very moment.

I must stand my ground now.

"I was looking for ''you'', Reina Kamisu, for you!"

I scowl at Reina Kamisu. The more I sharpen my glance, the weaker the pain in my chest gets.

"Oh really?" she smiles at me with a smile so beautiful that it looks fake. "And what are you going to do now? Take revenge?"

''Revenge'', says Reina Kamisu with indifference.

"I do want to do that, yeah," I reply as calmly as I can, while suppressing the boiling rage.

"So there's another goal if you phrase it like that?"

"Yes."

"I'm listening?"

"Maybe you think that incident is just water under the bridge. But not for me. I'm still suffering the consequences everyday. You're still messing with my life!"

"Well, I suppose nobody who fell victim to such an incident could come to terms with it so easily," Reina Kamisu says in a indifferent voice, giving me the urge to charge at her and struggle her to death. However, I must keep from doing so; without her I will never get the answer I seek.

"And? What do you want from me?"

Reina Kamisu shows no signs of guilt. Is she really that blunt or is she acting like that on purpose? I can't quite decide between the two possibilities.

Before it's too late, I erase my anger, which is on the verge of bursting; yes, I don't suppress it, I erase it. I wouldn't last for much longer otherwise. I try to shut out every impression I have of Reina Kamisu.

"—I want to learn the truth," I squeeze out.

"The truth?"

"Yes. The reason why you killed my family."

Finding that reason is the number one priority for me.

I want to move on from my current state of mind. But in order to fight off those ever-lasting feelings of sorrow, fear, despair, and anger, I have to break through a wall.

The wall of questions.

Once ignited, hatred doesn't just go away; there is a need to go out of one's way and erase it. In the process of doing so, however, questions left unanswered constitute a great obstacle. I might be able to stomach this matter somehow given a reason or something to satisfy myself, but as a matter of fact, I don't even have enough data to make up one myself. My questions have so far been left unanswered.

Because of that, I have no means of digesting these various dark feelings within.

However, unable to understand my circumstances, Reina Kamisu inclines her head:

"Is there a point in learning about that?"

"There is. That's why I'm asking."

"You think so...? I can't seem to see one."

"I don't give a fuck about your opinion! I'm asking you a question here! Do you even have the faintest idea how much of 'myself' you already extracted from me?! You owe me some goddamn cooperation!" I yell unwittingly. Crap, I failed to stifle my anger. Even the smallest opening in my guard won't go unnoticed by my anger.

Hold it back, hold it back, hold it back.

"You changed your attitude," she notes with unchanged indifference. "Listen, I'm not trying to tease you. I would love to give you an answer, I really do. But as much as I would like to do so, I can't."

"—Why?!"

"Because there is no answer that could satisfy you."

"Well...that might be true. My family won't come back, and I won't be happy no matter what you say. But...that's not why I'm asking. I'm perfectly aware of that!"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Then what is it that you mean...?!"

"You want me to tell you the reason why I did what I did, correct?"

"Correct."

"Hm..."

"Believe it or not, I do understand that you have an entirely different way of thinking than me. It can't be helped if your reason doesn't make sense to me. I don't care. Everything's better than knowing nothing."

For the first time, Reina Kamisu listened closely to my words.

She gazes at me, trying to understand my circumstances, trying to understand the meaning behind my words.

I breathe out in relief. Reina Kamisu isn't stupid, nor does she hold a grudge against me. Therefore, it doesn't come as a surprise that I expect her to give me the answer I was waiting for.

However—

"And still..." she sighs for some reason.

"...What?"

"I still don't have the answer you're looking for."

My eyes widen.

"C-Cut it out already! Don't give me that you had no reason to kill! There must have been some kind of motive, no matter how mad!"

"A reason? Yes, maybe there was one upon closer examination."

"...Upon closer examination?"

"But I never really got it."

She... didn't get it?

"You're not going to find a nice explanation for everything in the world, and the same goes for the murder I committed; or was that already enough to satisfy you?"

"O-Of course not!"

"I should have known."

"You don't know the reason yourself? Don't give me that! Or do you mean that you killed people just like... like drinking water?!"

"Of course not. And just so you know: It's not like I don't remember how I felt back then. I felt... an impulse. I had to kill someone. I had to confirm if people could really die through my hands. I had no other choice but to do so.

I don't know, however, where that impulse came from. I do think there would be a reason upon further examination, but I didn't find one in the end. Why do we drink water? Because we become thirsty; because we would die otherwise. But...why were we designed to die unless we drink water in the first place? I don't know. Why did I get the urge to kill? I don't know."

In other words... my attempt to understand Reina Kamisu and her reasons for killing my family can't possibly succeed—because she doesn't understand herself, either.

I'm not going to find the answer I'm looking for anywhere in the world.

"It breaks my heart to say this, but as I said earlier..."

"There is no point in learning the truth."

My wound opens.

No, a wound that hasn't healed in the first place doesn't "open."

"One more thing," she says.

It hurts.

"You mentioned that you don't consider that incident a matter of the past, right?"

Damn, it hurts.

"I think I know why that is."

It hurts, damn, it hurts!

"You seem to think that I only killed your family, but that's wrong."

Ah, I see.

That's why my wound isn't healing; because she has destroyed my ability to regenerate.

"I must have also killed you!"

Right—I am already dead.

==4==
I mustn't worry my aunt. And yet...I have been skipping school for the past few days, unable to move a muscle.

I'm dead.

Needless to say, that's a figure of speech; from a biological perspective, I'm perfectly alive and capable of thought.

However—there is a wound in my chest that is linked to the past. As long as I have this wound, I will keep being taken back to that day and being harmed by Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu will keep carving up everything I have—my happiness, sadness, qualms, dreams—tread on it, nullify it.

The only thing that remains to me are the feelings of that incident. Feelings that will give me no rest wherever I go and however long I wait.

Therefore, I'm chained to one place, forbidden to move toward the future.

Therefore, my life has come to a halt.

Therefore, you can say that I am "dead."

...Fuck.

I completely lost to Reina Kamisu.

How am I supposed to live on now? What am I supposed to do? Do I have to continue to live for year after year together with that pain in my chest?

How could I answer that?

No...not quite.

How could I decide over that?

I'm in the midst of a vortex of worthless thought that, even though it's worthless, tries to suck me in. Suddenly, however:

"Atsushi? I'm coming in!" a voice says and drags me back into reality.

"Okay..."

After hearing my reply, my aunt enters the room carrying a tray with a bowl of rice porridge on it.

My guilt pangs get stronger. I'm pretending to be ill and hiding the real reason for my absence; I don't want to worry my aunt by telling her that it's really a mental problem.

"Does your head still hurt?" she asks after she puts the tray on my desk.

"Yeah..."

My conscience pricks me; I'm lying to her.

...I have no other choice. I'm sorry, but I have no other choice.

"Do you really think you're okay? It's already been 3 days and counting. Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"I'm fine."

She gazes silently at my face for a few moments, and finally nods with a gentle smile.

Her smile sparks a faint assumption within me: Maybe she has long since seen through my lie, and is just turning a blind eye on me because she's powerless?

"Atsushi? It's Wednesday today, do you remember?"

"Mm...ah."

"Do you want to cancel this week's appointment with your doctor? I can contact him if you want."

Normally, it's these times when one should look for mental counseling, but since I'm pretending to be ill, I mustn't get caught.

"Yes, please. Can I ask you to contact him, mom?"

Just before I finish speaking, her eyes widen. Surprised by her reaction, I recall my own words.

Ah... I just called my aunt "mom."

Unsure how to deal with this awkward situation, I wordlessly gaze at her. Her surprised face slowly turns back into the familiar gentle smile.

"You finally said it," she smiles with a hint of joy.

"That was...that was just a mistake."

"I don't mind, Atsushi. In that case, I will just take it that you like me so much that you mistook me for your mother for an instant."

Is that so...?

Sure, I'm grateful of her—I really am—but isn't that itself proof that we're not a real family? If I were her real son, I wouldn't probably be that grateful. I would consider the love she'd give me a perfectly natural thing. I would just take her love and do nothing in return.

However, if I told my aunt that now, I would only sadden her.

Keeping my opinion to myself, I ask her something else instead.

"Can I call you ''mom'' from now on, then?"

"Of course you can! You're our son, Atsushi! My husband may seem cold to you, but he feels really attached to you, too."

"Yeah, I know."

I'm a child. As such, I cost a lot of money. On top of that, I will cost even more once I've completed my compulsory education and enter a high school. Despite all that, my uncle has not made a single complaint.

"There's nothing to worry about. We're even acknowledged as your parents by the law."

"Yeah..."

"Can you...can you call me again?"

"Huh?"

"Quick!"

Fighting off the awkwardness, I say, "Mom."

My aunt nods happily.

Mom.

Yes, I feel averse to calling her that way.

Because I'm used to calling her aunt? Sure, but there is more to the reluctance I'm feeling.

Why is that? Why?

Besides, I've long known that she wanted me to call her mom, that she didn't like the word aunt because it put some distance between us.

I've always been grateful of her, and wanted to make her happy if possible. If I can make her happy with something as simple as changing the way I address her, I would do that anytime without a second thought.

Then why is it that I have kept calling her aunt to this day?

"I have a question, mom."

"Yes?"

"Have you—" I break off in mid-sentence. There's no return once I have said the continuation of these words.

No...I have noticed already, so I can't return anyway.

"—Have you ever heard of Reina Kamisu?"

I'm sitting on the sofa inside Dr. Mihara's office.

As high as hiding my true reason for staying home was in my list of priorities, I don't care much anymore. I need the counseling. More precisely, I need to talk with Dr. Mihara.

"Hello Atsushi-kun," he says to me as he enters the room.

"Hello," I reply.

He sits down in the seat opposite of me.

"So," he cites the usual phrase, "how have you been?"

I have already prepared an answer to that question.

"A lot happened."

"Oh? Would you mind telling me?"

"Sure, that's why I'm here."

"True," he nods. Because he is a psychotherapist, it is very hard to read his true thoughts from his expression, but I can tell that he has noticed that something in me changed.

"Firstly, I had a dream."

"Oh? What kind of dream?"

He often asks me to tell him about my dreams. I guess he's trying to analyze them and search the depths of my consciousness.

"A dream where I get killed by Reina Kamisu."

Dr. Mihara closely observes my face as I speak, while I observe his, trying to take note of every change.

"Which means that it's that dream in which a girl kills you, right? With a kitchen knife?"

"Yes. Also, doctor, her name is Reina Kamisu."

Gazing closely at me, he replies, "I see."

"Doctor."

"Yes?"

"I have had that dream for a while now, right?"

After giving it some thought, he nods, "That's right."

"It's not hard to see why I would have such a dream: because I haven't come to terms with that incident yet. Correct?"

It seems that I have knocked him somewhat out of his stride.

During all the years of coming here, I have noticed that he never gives me answers. He only listens to me. He tries to help me find an answer myself by listening. That's all he really does. There have been times when I was annoyed by that, but I guess that's just how psychotherapy works.

It must be troublesome from his perspective to be urged to state his own thoughts.

"...I think so," he says, however, after coming to the conclusion that there will be no harm in doing so.

"Is that all?" I ask.

"...All?"

"Is that all of your view on that dream?"

He grumbles deeply and averts his eyes from me. After remaining silent like that for a few seconds, he looks at me again and opens his mouth.

"Atsushi-kun. It is true that I have reflected on your dream and formed my own opinion. That is, however, my personal view and in no way perfect. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"The problem is, Atsushi-kun, that by disclosing my opinion, I might affect your own opinion. You might accidentally confuse my answer as yours. Do you understand the problem that I'm pointing out?"

"Yes. That means that there is no problem if I state my own opinion, right?"

"...I suppose so."

"Fine. I think that my dream is the result of my wish to 'escape."

"..." He remains silent.

"Let me change the topic a little. I would like to tell you something entirely else that happened this week."

"Go ahead."

"I came across Reina Kamisu again."

"...I see. Just to be sure: we are not talking about that dream here anymore, is that correct?"

"Yes, of course not. This time we didn't only pass by each other, we also talked."

"..."

"Don't you want to know what we talked about?"

"...Yes, please."

"I felt the need to know the reason she killed my family. And that's what I asked her."

"What...what did she reply?"

"She told me that she had no idea."

"Hm..."

"I'm quite sure that she didn't lie to me. Reina Kamisu had a murderous impulse and killed my family. However, there was no deeper reason beside that impulse. At the very least, that's what she seems to think."

Dr. Mihara maintains his silence, unsure how to react.

"I wanted to put an end to that incident by learning about her reasons. I wanted to get a hold of something that could help me come to terms. Yet, my hopes were betrayed. Instead, I will now be forever held captive by my past.

—However, there is something I noticed earlier. Even if, just hypothetically, she had had a proper reason for the murder she committed, I wouldn't have accepted that reason no matter what. I didn't stand a chance against Reina Kamisu from the very start. Because it's plain impossible to pacify the feelings of someone whose family was murdered."

He is still gazing at me. At last, he reluctantly begins to speak. "Say, Atsushi-kun, where did you meet her?"

"At the McDonalds near the station. In real life, of course."

With folded arms, he lapses into silence again. Having said everything I wanted to say, I also keep quiet.

Silence. For a while, only meaningless noises reach my ears, like the noise of traffic and the clicking of a clock.

I shall wait for his next words—whatever they may be.

At last, he unfolds his arms and looks deep into my eyes.

"Atsushi-kun... may I ask you a question?" Dr. Mihara asks.

"Sure."

"Earlier, you mentioned that you see your wish to escape in that dream, right?"

"Right."

"Furthermore, you continually emphasized that you met her in real life, right?"

"Right."

"You already know the real answer, don't you, Atsushi-kun? Despite that, you asked me that, is that right?"

"..."

"Okay, Atsushi-kun. Let me confirm this once again."

"...Confirm what?"

"It was a coldblooded murderer who killed your family. What's her name again? Rehna Kamizu?"

"Right. Reina Kamisu. Reina Kamisu slaughtered my family!" I utter agitatedly, confusing the doctor a little.

He remains calm, however, and responds to me, "However—"

"That person does not exist."

While I did expect that answer, it still comes as a shock. My hypothesis proved correct. And as I already knew beforehand, as such it will aggravate my pain.

"That's not true!" I deny. I must.

"Why do you still say that?! You are escaping! That's wrong and you know it!"

"No... that's not true! I know that, I know for a fact that she does exist!"

That's no lie. At least, I don't think it's one.

"Atsushi-kun..."

"Reina Kamisu exists! She's here with us!" I shout.

I have to make sure of it.

Leaving a perplexed Dr. Mihara behind, I turn around and dash out of his office. As I leave the room, I bump into a girl who was waiting for her turn, and tumble over. I jump to my feet, however, and without a word of apology, I head to the place where I can make sure of Reina Kamisu's existence.

While I've never actually been there, I know the address. As I keep running toward that address, I try to regain a cool head. I will need it to confirm the fact I'm seeking, and I should be able to, since I already proved myself by suppressing my anger while talking to Reina Kamisu.

Calm down. First of all, slow down a little. Running your heart out isn't going to change anything; your fate stays all the same.

At last, I manage to regain my composure—just when I arrived at my destination, as chance would have it.

I ring the chime.

"Yes?" someone says after a few moments.

"Urm... my name is Atsushi Kogure. Ah, yes... I'm a classmate of Kyousuke-kun's." As I explain who I am, I look at the nameplate besides the chime.

The plate reads Kimura.

With the meekest expression I can play, I pray at Kimura's altar, since that's what I told his mother I am here for. I must make her believe that we were good buddies. She won't be able to tell unless he previously told her in detail about me.

"It was a... real shock...," I explain to her with a sad face.

I then ramble on about how much I'm supposedly grieved about Kimura's death. It's not that hard: I just have to exaggerate my own feelings, since it's for a fact that I was, as a classmate, shocked by his sudden passing away. His mother nods at my words, a few tears in her eyes. The queasy conscience I get is immediately wiped out in the face of my goal.

"In fact, Mrs. Kimura, I'm here today with a request," I say, finally coming down to business.

"...Yes?"

"I want to know what Kimura-kun thought about in his last hours, what were his worries, and I would like to hear his own, true words. Therefore, may I—"

The odds are for me. For one thing, there have been others who have seen it, otherwise there wouldn't be any rumors, and she doesn't seem to have noticed that I'm deceiving her. I don't see why she would refuse.

"—may I read his suicide note?"

==5==
I started to wander around aimlessly after I had left Kimura's home.

Everything was a lie, the truth, and cruel reality.

The past, the here and now, and the future exist all here simultaneously, and all of them turned out to be tormenting me.

My wound aggravates even more.

It hurts.

But there's no blood to spill anymore—there's not a single drop left.

I've dwindled. Entirely.

I'm dried up like dust, and what little is left of me could easily be wiped away.

As I look up at the colorful, dazzling sky, I recall Kimura's suicide note.

"Mother, father, and all who have known me: please forgive me for leaving so soon.

Now that I hold my pen, I don't know what to write anymore. Even though I pondered quite a while about it before.

For starters, let me write why I killed myself.

It was not until I troubled a certain girl and drove her into suicide that I decided in the real sense to commit suicide myself.

I will not write the details of what I did to her. Every time I call back the memories, my heart feels like a rag being squeezed out.

While that event was the last straw, however, I had been thinking of suicide before.

There is no meaning in my life.

No one needs me and no one ever will, although I'm sure you will all deny it.

But in the end, I still think that it all boils down to the fact that I'm worthless. It may be a bad simile, but I think I'm somewhat like your favorite pencil: it hurts a bit if it goes lost, but you can easily buy a new one in the supermarket around the corner.

That's why I think that the only way I can atone for driving someone into suicide is to end my own worthless life as well.

You were kind-hearted. We talked, even though you were already dead. Maybe I was just having an illusion, but you forgave me.

And that's exactly why I have to punish myself.

I have to atone for the sin of tormenting someone as kind and forgiving as you.

Let me apologize once more for what I did.

I am awfully sorry,—                "

I reread these words over and over, but they didn't changed no matter how many times and from what angle I read them.

"I am awfully sorry, Reina Kamisu-san.                "

I recall what Mizuhara said to me.

"A ghost cursed them to death."

And then I finally recall whose name Saito called for help

At last, I found myself at the place where I'd first seen her—the shopping district by the station. As I lean against the wall, I decide to wait for her.

There's no guarantee that she will appear, but I have a hunch that she will if I keep waiting.

I search my pockets and take out the envelope I have stuffed in there before I dashed out of my home.

Why didn't I call my aunt mom?

In fact, there is no problem with that in itself. The problem is that I would consequently have to call my uncle dad as well, since I can't just change one side and leave the other as is. Needless to say, the reason why I don't want to call him that way is not because I don't like him as much as I like my aunt.

I look at the envelope.

It's addressed at "Atsushi Kogure," while the sender is written to be "Takashi Kogure" on the backside. Right, that's the name of my dad.

And the postmark's date is the tenth of last month.

"Were you looking for me again?"

I raise my head and couldn't contain a smile. I am looking at a smile that is as absurdly beautiful as ever.

"Exactly!" I reply.

"What do you want?"

"I want to confirm something. And I have a request."

"Okay, ask away and make sure of whatever that is."

I stuff the envelope in my pocket again and ask, "It was you who killed my family, right?"

"That's right."

"It was also you who killed my father, right?"

"Obviously."

"Which means that it can't have been my father who killed my family, right?"

Reina Kamisu's eyes widen in surprise. And with absolute certainty, she replies:

"Of course it wasn't him."

I look closely at her. Naturally, there's no sign of deception to be found in her face.

"Would you mind... listening to my silly musings for a moment?" I ask her.

"Go ahead."

"Let's pretend for a moment that not you but my father killed my family," I start.

"Now that's a bizarre thought."

"His motive for attacking us wouldn't be something as incomprehensible as yours, I'm sure, but something clear. Something clichéd like, for example, financial difficulties that made him attempt to commit family suicide."

"It's a shame that it wasn't him."

"Huh?"

"I mean, you wanted a reason, didn't you? You'd have one in that case, no?"

Indeed, I wanted one. However—

"I don't care."

I don't care. I don't think I would want to know the reason if it were such a cheap one. I wouldn't want to learn that our family was destroyed by a foolish thing like that.

If that hypothesis were true, I'd certainly wish—

—that that reason didn't exist in the first place.

I would certainly try to ignore the truth right before my eyes, and seek refuge in my dreams. I would make one up where someone else murders my family. Someone who's a monster and doesn't have a proper reason to kill.

Someone like—the beautiful girl here.

However, no matter how fake the culprit is—

"—I don't care. The fact that my family was killed won't change, no matter who was the culprit. After all, it's impossible to pacify the feelings of someone whose family was murdered, and my wound will never heal up. Right?"

Reina Kamisu gazes closely at me.

"Perhaps," she finally answers.

"You said it. Then what is it that I would seek? Let me tell you: a resting place, where I wouldn't be wounded, where I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I would definitely seek a place to rest like that," I say and look into her eyes.

"—So?"

"Hm?"

"You're done confirming, aren't you? So what's the other thing you wanted; what's your request?" she asks and I reply with a natural smile.

Ah, she acts just like I wanted.

What I needed was a culprit with no reason to kill. But that's not all. That's not enough to give me peace of mind.

What I really need is—a coldblooded murderer.

A murderer like Reina Kamisu.

Therefore, I ask from her:

"—Please, kill me."

That moment, my wound turned into a scar.

The pain went away and the blood stopped. What remains is a plain scar that looks a bit repulsive until you've gotten used to it.

But that's just an illusion; I can't exist without that pain. I have to drag along my past and live with it and the pain. As soon as I stop fantasizing about being killed by Reina Kamisu, the scar will turn back into a fresh wound.

"Why do you ask me? Just die by yourself."

"That's out of question. I can't commit suicide. My fear of death is barely strong enough to keep me from doing that."

"Hmm...? Barely strong enough, hm?" she emphasizes part of what I said.

Right, I can't end my own life because I'm able to see how horrifying it is to die.

But what if—what if someone killed me?

If I were to be killed forcibly, I would not have the time to mull over about death. At most, I would realize the fact that I would disappear from this world. Or perhaps, the pain wouldn't grant me any thought at all. The prominent kind of feeling I would have at that moment would be—relief.

I've always been wishing from the bottom of my heart for someone to erase me.

"Just in case," I say to her.

"Hm?"

"You have no qualms about taking my life, do you?"

With an absurdly beautiful smile, Reina Kamisu replies:

"—Of course not. Why should I have any qualms?"

"Tell me," she continues, surprising me, "why are you smiling so happily?"

Only now do I realize that a smile has been glued to my face. Without a thought, I cover my mouth, but as I do so, I peek into her eyes and return the favor.

"So are you," I point out, causing her to cover her mouth as well. Amused by the fact that we showed the exact same reaction, we both start to laugh.

The fact that nothing about this peaceful moment is real only adds to it.

"Okay—" she mutters as she extends her soft hands to me. Her long, slender fingers fold around my neck. I can't help but feel that this situation is perverted and even slightly sexual.

Her fingers strangulate me.

Her hands are as cold as those of a dead person. It feels like that coldness is absorbing everything from me.

Ah—I am vanishing for good.

Bit by bit, the sensation of being split is getting stronger. Slowly but surely, I am leaving my body. The mangled remains of myself are assembling into one piece again and leaving my body. Never before have I felt such an overwhelming feeling of anguish and pleasure.

And as I have predicted, I feel relieved.

In my last moments, I look at her while she is choking me.

Suddenly, I wonder: who is she, anyway?

I quickly dismiss that thought. Partially because my ability to think has dwindled, but mostly because it seemed like a meaningless thought once I saw her absurdly beautiful smile.

Instead, I say to her in my mind:

"Thank you."

And then—

Atsushi Kogure died.

<noinclude>
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|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Fumi Saito|Chapter 1]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Shizuka Wakui|Chapter 3]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Talk:Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume11 The Fifth Question

2013-08-03T02:29:24Z

Agar9691:

I ready my wooden sword just as they say, and Yuuji and Minami’s summoned beast punched right at my wooden sword. My summoned beast’s shot out like a cannon.

Shouldn't he be kicked in the back for him to be shot out like a cannon.--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 18:21, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

That's how the text gave it. Akihisa points the sword at the other two, the other two punched him, and then he went spinning and hit the other guy.--[[User:Teh Ping|Teh Ping]] ([[User talk:Teh Ping|talk]]) 19:32, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

If that's how the original goes then it can't be helped. Anyways, a big thanks, and hoping to see the full volume soon.--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 21:29, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

Talk:Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume11 The Fifth Question

2013-08-02T23:21:18Z

Agar9691: Created page with "I ready my wooden sword just as they say, and Yuuji and Minami’s summoned beast punched right at my wooden sword. My summoned beast’s shot out like a cannon. Shouldn't he..."

Category talk:Genre - Harem

2013-08-02T05:59:34Z

Agar9691:

Really? I find most of the LNs have harem. DxD/ STnBD/ Silver cross (not directly but yeah... we have women falling for a man)/ campione/ vanadis/ ryuu kishi... and many many others --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 00:26, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

Yeah, just to try something new. We don't have genre tags here, so I'll start with the easiest category for now (Partially because I'm tired of having people ask what series of what particular genre they recommend). I'll add new genre tags in the upcoming days though to add more variances to each project. This is only one tag I'm trying.--[[User:Teh Ping|Teh Ping]] ([[User talk:Teh Ping|talk]]) 00:29, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

I differ for Heavy Object. It has only princess falling for him *scratches head* from what I read last'. (Can I support this with AS tags? ) --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 00:41, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

What about SAO, Accel World, Monogatari, PapaKiki etc. It's hard to tell if they can be classified as harem or not.--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 00:49, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

HO Volume 4, maybe? I may need to set rules to genre setting, though MediaFactory works mostly tend to be harem based. You can refer to AS tags, Chancs.

Agar, I'm just adding these for references. Want to finish up on Baka Test 11 ASAP now.--[[User:Teh Ping|Teh Ping]] ([[User talk:Teh Ping|talk]]) 00:51, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

Harem, hāremumono (ハーレムもの?), broadly, is a loose subgenre of anime and manga characterized by a protagonist (or several protagonists) surrounded, usually amorously, by three or more members of the opposing sex and/or love interests.
This is the definition of Harem genre found in wikipedia. Also, easy with the translations don't strain yourself.--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 00:56, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

Category talk:Genre - Harem

2013-08-02T05:56:24Z

Agar9691:

Really? I find most of the LNs have harem. DxD/ STnBD/ Silver cross (not directly but yeah... we have women falling for a man)/ campione/ vanadis/ ryuu kishi... and many many others --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 00:26, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

Yeah, just to try something new. We don't have genre tags here, so I'll start with the easiest category for now (Partially because I'm tired of having people ask what series of what particular genre they recommend). I'll add new genre tags in the upcoming days though to add more variances to each project. This is only one tag I'm trying.--[[User:Teh Ping|Teh Ping]] ([[User talk:Teh Ping|talk]]) 00:29, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

I differ for Heavy Object. It has only princess falling for him *scratches head* from what I read last'. (Can I support this with AS tags? ) --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 00:41, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

What about SAO, Accel World, Monogatari, PapaKiki etc. It's hard to tell if they can be classified as harem or not.--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 00:49, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

HO Volume 4, maybe? I may need to set rules to genre setting, though MediaFactory works mostly tend to be harem based. You can refer to AS tags, Chancs.

Agar, I'm just adding these for references. Want to finish up on Baka Test 11 ASAP now.--[[User:Teh Ping|Teh Ping]] ([[User talk:Teh Ping|talk]]) 00:51, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

Harem, hāremumono (ハーレムもの?), broadly, is a loose subgenre of anime and manga characterized by a protagonist (or several protagonists) surrounded, usually amorously, by three or more members of the opposing sex and/or love interests.
This is the definition of Harem genre found in wikipedia.--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 00:56, 2 August 2013 (CDT)

Category talk:Genre - Harem

2013-08-02T05:49:38Z

Agar9691:

User talk:EusthEnoptEron

2013-07-28T03:17:54Z

Agar9691: /* Asking permission for creating a wikia page for Tsukumodo Antique Shop */

Hehe, that was the reason behind that ;) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 20:59, 22 December 2009 (UTC)
:The page contents box? I don't know if it's useful, really. The reasons I removed it:
:# it blows up the layout (admittedly not badly)
:# the titles looked like "1.1 1", "1.1 2" (could be fixed, thought)
:# I haven't seen anything like this on any other BT project.
:On the other hand, it might not be a bad thing and reflects the content of the chapter. Freshness and accessibility. So I don't mind either way. ;)
:[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 22:33, 22 December 2009 (UTC)

Ah, but I have seen it in some projects (like [[To_Aru_Majutsu_no_Index:Volume12_Chapter1|here]] and [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru:Volume1_Chapter1|here]] and I believe also somewhere else if the chapters were divided in subsections (so I thought its custom ;)) (I think for some its for a easier navigation in the chapter or to differentiate the pages - who knows for sure) Also I dont know if much could be done to change the titles of the subsections (but also one can hide the content) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 23:59, 22 December 2009 (UTC)
:You got me. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 11:26, 23 December 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your work on Utsuro no Hako. I'm enjoying it.

Want to second that emotion! Thanks so much EEE!

What? Who? When did you translate this and why haven't I noticed it from the beginning? This is an excellent series and you translated an entire volume a month...that's ungodly. I just wanted to write here to say how awesome it's been reading this series (just finished the first book--I hated the way the author had me with the 'owner' mystery because of his cheap shot) and that I seriously congratulate you on your translations. Sure, they aren't perfect, but you clearly tell this wonderful story, and I'm definitely glad I read it. I truly hope you continue translating ^^.

Totally not trying to butter you up into translating more,

~Blaster

:Thanks for the positive messages Blaster and anon IPs. :D I'm really glad you guys enjoyed the story as much as I did, which is what drove me to translate the whole thing. Though, I'm still not sure just how readable I can translate an already quite complicated book like this. But for now, I think I'll keep translating at least until volume 4 (since volume 3 is my favorite one and hell of a cliff-hanger). [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 17:53, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, is there any way to contact you (skype/msn/whatever)? --LoSs 09:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Email (Romanize without spaces): 海からやって来た[_at_]yahoo.co.jp [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:14, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Also for registered users is down in the toolbox an option to email another user if the other user has allowed that ;) also there are PM's possible at the forum (for registerd users) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 13:27, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Great job. This novel is very good and I'm really happy that you're translating it. Keep up the good work.

The reason why I signed up to edit was mainly because of your awesome work with Utsuro no Hako, since I wanted to help out by doing whatever I could. Looking forward to working on more in the future! --[[User:Enthormw|Enthormw]] 20:53, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
:Thanks a bunch for the great edits! The awkward English I use is always my biggest worry, so I'm glad someone improves the flow and gets rid of some spelling mistakes for me. ;) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 21:04, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== Asking permission for Vietnamese translation of Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I find this novel interesting with a bit mysterious. Therefore, I would like to translate Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria into Vietnamese based on your translation. Would you mind if I use this as source?

Thank you for reading.
:Feel free to use it. Also, just ask if you need some help understanding a part. (It's not edited yet, so things might be more confusing than they are already.) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:19, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

== Spanish translation/Praise ;) ==

Hi! I've just finished reading the first volume, with it's many twists and turns in a way that is almost unbelievable, this has definitely gotten to be another one of my favorite series here at B-T. For that, I'd like to thank you for translating it into a language I can read! So, thank you very much!

I've liked this so much that I hope you won't mind me translating this into spanish!! (After I can peel my eyes off of it... or rather, I get to the last translated chapter)

Again, thanks for making this awesome light novel available in english. :)

-[[user:Mertius|Mertius]]

:I'd love to see UnH in Spanish, so please go for it! :D Spread the Maria-love~ Good luck if you're going to tackle it (I hope you like the other volumes as well). [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:28, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

== Hidan no Aria/Praise ==

Thanks for the edits on Hidan no Aria most of the time I do the translations at night before I go to sleep so mistakes are often made especially since Japanese is my third language.

I would also like to thank you for your translation of Utsuru no hako to zero no maria because I have read it, and it was a great novel.

== great novel i've ever read ==

arigatou for translating this series of novel, you manage to update this series very fast(heard the 4th volume in japan just came this june). i very like it. and i hope u never get bored o translate this series(i'm beging on you please he..he, and i wonder how u can learn japanese language? i too want to learn japanese as well, but i don't know the effective way to learn it, so i hope u can give some tips or advise to us what is the effective way to learn japanese.

:Nice that you liked it! As for Japanese, I present you the Eusth's four steps to Japanese:
:# Read the [http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/all-japanese-all-the-time-ajatt-how-to-learn-japanese-on-your-own-having-fun-and-to-fluency stuff on here]
:# Meditate for a few days if you '''really''' want to sacrifice ''a lot'' of time for Japanese. That's what the Japanese call 覚悟!
:# Fight yourself through the 3000 Kanji and the Kana as mentioned on AJATT
:# Read, listen, live Japanese. Maybe even set a limit of how long you allow yourself to read something other than Japanese (I used [http://www.proginosko.com/leechblock.html LeechBlock]. 
:Well, that's one way. What's most important is that you get started. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:46, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

== Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I've found many positive comments about this novel. Could you tell me where I can read this novel in japanese language?
: Either buy the novels at YesAsia / bk1 or you should find the raws without much trouble through google. (except of volume4. There are no scans yet) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

Would you like me to make a nav template for utsuro? [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 04:44, 25 August 2011 (CDT)
:Thanks, but I don't think it needs one. Considering the unconventional chaptering and the fact that there's no table of contents in the original novel at all, I want the reader to see as little as possible of the flow of the story. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 05:19, 25 August 2011 (CDT)

Alright, your choice. Though I don't see how it would show the flow seeing it doesn't show it on the main page. If there are any other projects you're supervising and you think it might need one feel free to ask. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 05:25, 25 August 2011 (CDT)

am i correct that now it's not zero but O, pronounced like oh?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 16:39, 14 July 2012 (CDT)
: Correct. In fact, I've known that for 2 years now but didn't bother to change it because there was no proof. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 17:38, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

Suddenly full text? Thank you based EEE. [[User:Undesco|undesco]] ([[User talk:Undesco|talk]]) 17:45, 26 August 2012 (CDT)

== My most sincere thanks ==

Really, I must say that I love how Eiji Mikage develops his characters. As soon as I noticed that you had uploaded the rest of the volume 4, I couldn't stop reading it until I was finished. Koudai Kamiuchi didn't dissapoint me in the least. Oh well, later I'll see if I can help a little bit with the editing (I'm not adept at rephrasing sentences since I learnt english by myself). Oh and thanks for the Eusth's way to Japanese, eventually I plan to learn it too lol. [[User:Lne|Lne]] 04:20, 3 August 2010 (UTC)
:I agree. Whew, I need to read his other works one of these days. Ah, and I noticed that you already corrected some of my edits, thanks for that! :D And good luck if you ever start learning Japanese. You'll discover its beauty～ [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== Haha, once again ==
I commented on how awesome you were at translating, and how awesome this series was, so I wanted to do something for when you finished, too. Honestly--you rock. That story made my day. I even figured out the ending of the 'Game of Idleness' early! God, I think that was the only thing I figured out early. I mean, really. How hard is this book to catch on early anyway? :/ Anyway, thank you so much! Haha, I'd love to talk more but you have no email or instant messenger to contact you D: Oh well. It was an epic, amazing, awesome read.

Thanks again,

~Blaster

:Glad you liked it! Finally I've accomplished what I announced in my previous answer to you ("translate until volume 4") but I guess, I'll also translate volume 5 when it comes out (and I still have time on my hands). :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== ONCE AGAIN!! ==

Thankyoou!!!.... finally all the chapter have been translated. thanks for your hard word, and thanks for your tips that you mentioned above(topic: great novel i've ever read, i'm the same person). BTW, do u know when the next chapter come out and another series that the author mentioned is?? i want to read it so badly >_<.
anyway thankyou for your hard work.(seriously ^_^) i can't wait for you next project, so gambattene..!!
:No idea when the new one comes out (maybe end of this year, beginning of next?), but his other project could possibly be [[Talk:Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4_Author's_Notes|冥王星O]]. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== Dantalian no Shoka/Vietnamese Translation/Praise ==

I'm quite a fan of dark fantasy, mystery so I find this novel great. Would you mind if I translate it into vietnamese?

Anyway thank you so much for translating HakoMari and this novel! I love them both! Hope you can finish vol 1 soon :D.

P/s: I can't find the raw of vol 1 anywhere. If you got 1 pls pm me at diablofanno1@yahoo.com.
:I sent you an e-mail if you didn't see it yet. But as I mentioned there as well: feel free to translate it. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

hey, just wanna check with you whether you have any plans to resume dantalian no shoka. Thanks for all your hard work on volume 1 btw--[[User:Hayashi s|Hayashi s]] 11:13, 27 June 2012 (CDT)
: Heyho. Nah, no plans. The stories themselves are enjoyable, but the lack of a common thread and a worthwhile end makes a translation pointless in my eyes. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 11:42, 27 June 2012 (CDT)
== Thank you post ==

I want to say thank you. I just finished reading Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria vol.1. <s>While I couldn't scream awesome on the novel itself just yet, It's great.</s> Finished vol.2, this series is awesome. And I can honestly say you're awesome. Thanks for your work.
--[[User:Hypernova|Hypernova]] 01:36, 11 August 2010 (UTC)

== Edits ==

For Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria, why edit "fufu" to "hehe"? The former is more of a sinister/evil strange laugh, and it doesn't translate to "hehe". For this series, that kind of laugh is fitting of the characters. I hope you didn't change all the fufu to hehe in your translations! (including Dantalian no Shoka) [[User:Imagker|Imagker]] 19:38, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

:Mh, actually I was planning to change most of them. Fufu just seems so non-English. But I agree that it's not really replaceable 1:1. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 19:41, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

In anime/manga/games/LN/etc, "fufu/fu fu fu" is normally associated with maniacal characters or evil to smugged, cold, sadistic, just plain amused characters who are devising a plan, etc. It'd be betraying their archetype design if we had them say hehe or something else entirely. I'll go through each chapter to see if there are any more changes and will revert them back to fufu... If that's fine with you. If yes, then, if you can recall any part where you originally went with hehe instead of fufu during your draft, can you change those too? [[User:Imagker|Imagker]] 21:46, 24 August 2010 (UTC)
:Well, okay then, I guess. There are some instances in volume 4 - I'll change them. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:32, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Fufu shall be evil laughing? I wouldnt understand that... --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 19:55, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Hmmm, as far as i know it´s more accurate to say that is a "meaningful laugh", where it´s abit on the mocking side, is a bit hard to describe but it doesn´t truly have to be done by an evil character; afterall, since it´s "meaningul", it generally points at something, or indicates something that the character finds amusing, in fact is rather hard to use it in any other form without it feeling out of place.(Well in fact i can think of one instance in Hakomari that´s a good example of it´s general use but...well i´m already quite long-winded as it is...)
[[User:Caramu|Caramu]] 20:17, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

:Yeah, and "hihi" "hehe" "huhu" "haha" "hrhr" just all feel off. Fufu doesn't look good, but I think it gets across the correct meaning at least. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 21:20, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

why don't you also translate the japanese inscription in vol.3 illustration?in other vol.(2 and 4 especially)they were meaningful and interesting insight into the charactr's thought that weren't in the novel.
furthermore,it really hurt me to see how much you work to edit/improve the novel(:even changing the past-present tense in previous novel);i of course apprectiate all you(and kadi) did to transqalte those 4 vol. so fast.No word could express how grateful i am-only money could-but i think you should no overwork yourself so much.but it's just my opinion;i hope i didn't offend you.
:Aah, I forgot about those. I'll add them when I have time. Regarding the edits; it's my favorite LN, so I want it to be at the highest possible level. :D And I'm not really working on any other project right now, so I can go on about it quite relaxed. But thanks for your opinion. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:21, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

=Thank you=
Finished the entirety of Utsuro no Hako. I can't believe how well you somehow translated and edited it in the short time that you did. It was an amazing story. Rock on.

~Blaster~

== any news ==

is there any news when vol. 5 will be come out?
:Nothing known yet. Though it's not coming before May, that's for sure. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 15:47, 14 February 2011 (UTC)

== heve one ==

hey, do u have your own blog or facebook? :)
:Nope. Though, technically, I do have a facebook account and a website, but I use neither of them. ;D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:26, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

== Tabi ni Deyou ==

I love the story, and I have time during my school break, so I'm doing some major edits offline (I'm rewriting paragraphs and such to make it read much more smoothly, but with the same content and stuff.) so after I finish the first chapter, where should I put it so you can check my changes for accuracy? It's in LaTeX for now, so I can make a PDF anytime, but when I finish editing the chapter I'll make a version with wiki markup instead. [[User:CarVac|CarVac]] 00:46, 15 March 2011 (EDT)
:Oh, that's great. :D For checks you can send it to me via mail (umikarayattekita[a.t]yahoo.co.jp) or you could just update the wiki page directly (shouldn't be problematic if there are some minor inaccuracies). Another alternative would be using my private wiki where I translate on. ;) Whatever suits you best~ [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 01:51, 15 March 2011 (EDT)

== amazing thank you ==

hey ive just got to say that this book was an amazing read and a great way to spend my last week
and i had a question i know this was asked in February but i was wondering if there was any news of a 5th volume yet?
:Glad you liked it. There's no news of a 5th volume yet, but of a [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=3161&start=315#p82619 new series by him]. We don't know what happened to Hakomari yet, but we'll probably find out in the "Afterword" of that new novel. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:32, 8 June 2011 (UCT)

== I think there's some overlap in taste here... ==

I've been reading light novels here for a while...since vol 4 of Haruhi was halfway done. Some I like, some I don't. It's a matter of taste, like anything else. I've read both the Utsuru no Hako series and Gekkou and they're both at the top of a short list of favorites. Of the two, I think I prefer vol 1 of Hako slightly just because it scratches my science fiction itch along with my psychological horror itch. Great stuff. My Japanese isn't good enough to translate, but I'm happy to edit these (as I did with all of Gekkou) because they're so different/interesting and not at all like the generic LN offering here. I don't know how you're finding the good stuff that nobody else has even heard of, but keep up the good work! [[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] 20:22, 12 July 2011 (UCT)
:嬉しいことを言うね。 Very delighted to see that you enjoyed them as much as I did. I'm pretty much just randomly picking novels that look/sound interesting, but it seems like I've been quite lucky so far. ;) Anyway, thanks for your great edits! I've looked through all of them and learned quite a few new things. --[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 22:39, 12 July 2011 (UCT)

== Gekkou Vietnamese Translation ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I'm Nanaya from [http://vnsharing.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=268 vnsharing]. Would you mind if I translate Gekkou into Vietnamese based on your translation? Thank you for such a great novel and look forward to your reply. --[[User:Nanaya|Nanaya]] 20:36, 25 September 2011 (CDT)

:Hey Nanaya. Sure, feel free to give Gekkou a kick-ass Vietnamese translation! :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:39, 26 September 2011 (CDT)

== Gekkou ~ Russian translation ==

Hello, EusthEnoptEron. Thanks for translation of Gekkou and of course HakoMari. Well, I and some more people are currently translating Gekkou using your translation as base. So, I thought, we need your permission for this even if we aren't going to post it here.

Best regards,
[[User:Rock96|Rock96]]
:Same as above -- I'd love to see Gekkou translated in Russian. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:39, 26 September 2011 (CDT)

== Edited sugar dark ==

Edited the first chapter lightly, under the impression that you did the translation?
Hope you like it. Refrained from large changes to the flow, please advice further actions.

--[[User:Novium|Novium]] 23:23, 13 December 2011 (CST)

== Thank you Eusth for all your work. ==

I enjoyed Zero no Maria and Gekkou a lot! Tabi no Deyou was also quite good. I like how you pick up interesting works! Do you have plans on starting up a new project? I'd love to read anything you find interesting!

== tsukumodo antique shop ==

when i read the story synopsis, i thought it was interesting and had my attention. then, i scrolled down and looked at list of translators. i was like "it's expected". lol

--[[User:Shera|Shera]] 09:59, 16 February 2012 (CST)
:Shera, I like your taste. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 05:16, 18 February 2012 (CST)

btw, how is "Vision" (of the main character) written in Japanese?
:ヴィジョン

Miki and I had both been in an all-girls middle school. Therefore, there had only been girls that could be target of her admiration. But with graduating to a mixed middle school, she regained what is called a "healthy mind".
is the first sentence meant "elementary school"?
: Yeah, you're right. orz [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 06:44, 14 April 2012 (CDT)

== Dantalian no Shoko ==

I wonder if you could continue translating the Dantalian LNs because I think quite a few people want to read it further and can't read moon (yet).

If you are unable to due to time or any other reason could you make some good summaries at least? That would be appreciated too.
:Dantalian no Shoka is a great LN, but it lacks a main story that connects everything, which bothers me a little. I'll think about making a few summaries, but I guess you'll also be able to read some of the stories in the manga (though I have no idea how actively this one is translated). :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:26, 29 April 2012 (CDT)

Hm I'll look around for the manga and keep an eye out for your summaries if you decide to do them, thanks.

==Antique shop Edits==

hi, i editted 2/3 of chapter 1. i had some questions, so i put them in ch.1 discussion page. can you please take a look?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 02:39, 30 April 2012 (CDT)
------------------------------------
thanks. i added some more questions in the discussion page...

and i just had an epiphany about the sentence where the bonds were cut. how about "severed"? imho sounds cool))

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 06:05, 30 April 2012 (CDT)
-----------------------------
done with chapter 1. questions in discussion as before...
----------------------------------
i'll get to editting chapter 2 as soon as i finish reading it....today, later. RL stuff and whatnot.PS. thanks for finishing the chapter))--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 09:39, 4 May 2012 (CDT)
----------------------------------------
edited a bit of chapter 2. questions in the discussion page...--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 08:28, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
----------------------------------------
btw, how long are the remaining two chapters?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 10:11, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
: Chapter 3: 85, Chapter 4: 53 [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:21, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
*thanks. man, that's gonna be a long wait...--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 10:24, 6 May 2012 (CDT)

== Interesting novels ! ==

Really appreciate u for introducing all these novels ! really perked up my interest !
I will be glad if i can be any help in translation since i can read jap
: Glad to hear that I met your taste. :D Any help with translating / editing would be most appreciated if you're confident in your skills. In concrete terms, Tsukumodo (the remaining novels), Gekkou (a short story) or Dantalian (although stalled) do still have stuff left to do. Though, if you haven't read that many light novels yet, I recommend staying a reader for a little longer, since that's a lot more fun than translating. ;] [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 15:55, 2 July 2012 (CDT)

== Thanks for translating ==
Thanks for taking the time to translate the novels. I would really like to thank you in particular for translating Maria, I'm looking every week for updates to the 5th volume!

== How to best express my appreciation for your awesome efforts! ==
You're responsible for translating most of my favorites - Utsuro no Hako,
Gekkou, Our Journey to the End of the Ceasing World - to name just a few. I just started (maybe overenthusiastically, orz) tackling edits to Tsukumodo Antique Shop in thanks, but was wondering what your priorities are for editor efforts: for instance, if you feel Gekkou is complete already, so we shouldn't spend time there; otoh, if you want Utsuro no Hako to be uber-polished, etc etc

Anyway, much thanks (and sorry if my edits are too intrusive)...I haven't done a lot yet, but figured I should check in early rather than be a pain in the butt...

[[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 08:38, 12 July 2012 (EDT)
: First of all, thanks a bunch for the edits you made so far. :D Made my day. And don't worry about being too intrusive: if it sound better/more correct/more natural, then it's a good edit, and it will help me pick up new words, figures of speech and whatnot, since I try to check every edit. In fact, for me the most nerve-racking thing while translating is being unable to find a good-sounding and natural wording, so I'm always delighted if someone makes the stuff flow better.

:As for priorities: Hopefully sometime during the next week I'm going to start working on Hakomari 5, which will have top priority. Translation and editing will take place on my private wiki because I want the translation to be as good as possible. If you want to join (in fact, anyone who wants to join) just drop me a message in the forums or at umikarayattekita{AT}yahoo.co.jp and you'll get '''instant access''' (not wanting to sound like a pr0n site).
:* Apart from Hakomari, I'd like to focus mainly on Tsukumodo, since there's still a whack-load of work to be done there (mostly translation-wise).
:* Gekkou: Considered completed. I'm satisfied with its editing state (pretty much the only project I am)
:* Tabi ni Deyou: Don't plan on putting much more work into it. Was just a little one-man side-project.
:* Hakomari <5: I've pretty much given up on getting them into shape. :D yyr has gone through them and erased a lot of errors though.
: [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:06, 12 July 2012 (CDT)

Eh, no worries - all I can do is edit, so I decided to edit... :) Just glad I'm not stepping on your toes... sent you a PM re: Hakomari 5 access as well. Thanks again!
[[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 13:18, 12 July 2012 (CDT)
Thanks for the access - until Hakomari 5 goes up on the private wiki, I'm mostly working on Tsukumodo on baka-tsuki (since your private wiki copy of Tsukumodo seems to be an older version). Keep up your excellent work! [[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 21:25, 12 July 2012 (CDT)

EEE, dropped you a message on the forums.--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:16, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

Thanks! Damn, I need a personal wiki too))--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:35, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

== Thank You So Much! ==

I really mean it. I sure took my time to come here and express my gratitude. Anyway, i must say it. All the works you translated had some significance for me. All of them. Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria made me like reading in the first place, it was something like two years ago (that's why I've said that I took too long of a time to came here and express my gratitude). Gekkou made me laugh for days, damn, I'm still laughing right now even tough it's not a story I'm supposed to laugh about. Anyway, Tabi ni Deyou was beautiful. I can't really say about Dantalian since I've still didn't read the novel, but I like the story from the anime and manga. And now I'm reading Tsukumodo Antique Shop. I've just ended the first volume and really, it was great. Well enough blabbering, I'm here to give you my thanks but also to cheer you on Tsukumodo, it's a great novel and I'd really like to read it to end. I hope that some of my gratitude reached you since I would have never known any of these novels if not for your hard work. While I'm at it I would like to ask you permission to translate Utsuro and Tsukumodo into Brazillian Portuguese. Well, technically I'm already translating Utsuro for about some time. You can check it [http://lightnovelproject.blogspot.com.br/ here] in the label "Projetos" presently the links are suspended for a new revision on the chapters but you can still see the project page if you want. Thanks for taking your time to read this, and again, thank you very much for your hard work!
:Wow, I'm really delighted that you enjoyed them so much. :D After all, I also love them all myself. Also, feel free to use my translations, and just ask if you have trouble understanding something. --[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:52, 31 August 2012 (CDT)

== Gekkou, SS2 ==

Hi,

I read and write Chinese fluently. I would definitely be willing to translate Gekkou for you.

[User:paulywolly|paulywolly]

== Appreciation and a question ==

First of all, I want to thank you for your hard work on translating Gekkou and Tsukumodo Antique Shop!
I loved both of them!

I would like to know if you are going to continue translating Tsukumodo Antique Shop, as I noticed you are not registered to be working on its translation. I would be glad to help with editing Tsukumodo Antique Shop, if you decide to continue working on it.

Cheers,
--[[User:LoliDragon|loliDragon]]
:Glad you enjoyed your read. :D
:As for Tsukumodo: Yes, I'm still planning on completing it, although it's hard to gather enough motivation as the series is not exactly popular (no anime, etc). Every help is greatly appreciated, since knowing that my grammatical train wrecks are being taken care of would be a great weight off my shoulders. ;) Also, don't worry about being too aggressive should you decide to do some edits; I don't know about other translators, but I'm ''very'' open-minded in this respect. By the way, I've actually already started working on the next chapter on my personal wiki -- I'm probably going to release by chapter from now on. -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:27, 6 December 2012 (CST)

::Great! Consider yourself owning an editor ^^ Chapter by chapter is a lot better, since it is rather hard to go through an entire vol in one go. Anyhow, contact me when you have a chapter done and I will do the editing in a day or two. -[[User:LoliDragon|loliDragon]] 6 December 2012, at 10:27.

well i know this is a bit to tad late but i just want to thank you for translating Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria... it a nice novel. and since it in a question topic i want to ask if you reconsider translating Tasogare-iro no Uta Tsukai as a side project. i know this is stepping on the line but i just want to ask -[[User:Anon10203|Anon10203]] 28 December 2012, at 10:27.
:Heyho~, glad you liked Hakomari. As for Tasogare-iro; unfortunately, although it's on my list, I haven't gotten around to reading the series, and I generally don't translate stuff I haven't read and come to love. Besides, I don't think I have enough motivation to pick up a new project. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:26, 28 December 2012 (CST)
I also have a suggestion if you feel like you're running out of interesting things to translate... -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 13:53, 28 December 2012 (CST)
: I may have no plans of picking up a new series, but I'm curious -- what LN do you have in mind? [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:26, 28 December 2012 (CST)
This: [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=5477 Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita]. It has the 'fading world' quality of [[Tabi ni Deyou, Horobiyuku Sekai no Hate Made]] along with a more pointed version of the social commentary snark of [[Gekkou]]. It's more farcical than your usual choices, but it's definitely as intellectual as anything else you've done, and it recently had a well-done anime. But nobody seems to want to pick it up as a translation project either here or commercially. Not every translator could manage it (there's some slang, some puns (some translingual puns)), but I think you could.-[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 15:55, 28 December 2012 (CST)
: Aah, Jintai, yes, I've read the first novel and recently watched the anime. I like it. And funnily enough, I've already considered helping out the guy who has started translating it over there at TLWiki. So chances aren't zero. In the meanwhile, I'm looking forward to the AURA movie -- Romeo's approach to the Chuunibyou phenomenon. ;) -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:04, 28 December 2012 (CST)
I hadn't bothered to look at Romeo's CV before now. A majority of his work is visual novels. Interestingly I've recently played through Cross Channel, which is his most famous vnovel. CC has some clever elements but didn't wow me. Now that I know that the same guy wrote both, I can see the similarities in the narrator's internal commentary and the underlying theme of people who are broken in interesting ways interacting. I'll be waiting for the AURA movie as well - his narrative voice seems better suited to books and serial formats. The Chuunibyou anime that came out this year seems to have a very similar plot to AURA. I'm curious to see his treatment of the idea. In any event, consider doing Jintai - the TLWiki guy did one chapter two years ago. I have the feeling that it's your project if you want it. -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 10:48, 29 December 2012 (CST)
:Yes, coordinating with the other translator should be the smallest issue, since I know him. In fact, he's one of the few citizens of our cozy little Hakomari IRC channel. Anyway, first I'll have to deal with Hakomari and perhaps Tsukumodo. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:31, 29 December 2012 (CST)
I'm torn. I like Tsukumodo (and Hakomari, but then a lot of people seem to like that), and would like to see them get attention too. Oh well. If you want something different to do, there's an option. -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 16:29, 29 December 2012 (CST)

Thanks for the heads-up on Rakuin no Monshou. You're right about the space voyage. If you find more inconsistincies in the future, please let me know. I appreciate it! --[[User:Dohma|Dohma]] ([[User talk:Dohma|talk]]) 14:31, 26 January 2013 (CST)

== Utsuro no Hako Volume 6 ==

First of all I would like to thank you profoundly for your work and in letting all us westerners enjoy amazing japanese books like this.

I was wondering when we can expect a translation for volume 6?
: Heyho, no problem. ;) As for v6: I can't name you a date, but translation is ~75% done. -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:44, 3 February 2013 (CST)

Are you waiting to it is fully translated before uploading it?
: It is fully translated, but still needs some editing before I can upload it. Should be done sometime in February, though. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:58, 10 February 2013 (CST)

Out of curiosity, is Volume 6 the final book?
: No, v7 will be the last one. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 02:39, 11 February 2013 (CST)

I love you. This series is consistently mind-blowing and I can't wait for the finale. Your relentless efforts in translation are invaluable. I love you. [[User:LoliSauce|LoliSauce]] ([[User talk:LoliSauce|talk]]) 02:26, 20 February 2013 (CST)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! KITAAAAAA!!! Thank you! By the way, has Eiji Mikage stated when the final Volume 7 is coming out?
:Nope, we only know that the first volume of his new series is coming out in April. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 01:05, 25 February 2013 (CST)

For your godly translation speed and insane amount of work (your translations are more and more natural sounding every time), I just wanted to thank you again. Man, the cliffhanger here was just too much as usual. I always read utsuro straight through until it's done, so I know I really love it, so I must really love your translations, so great work and thanks again!

~Blaster

Band sechs war, wie die anderen auch, super übersetzt! Vielen Dank für die super Arbeit [[User:BlackP|BlackP]] ([[User talk:BlackP|talk]]) 15:01, 3 March 2013 (CST)

Drop by to say thanks for your hard work. This is a great series, thanks! Look forward to read the translation of volume 7! --[[User:Kuno|Kuno]] - [[User talk:Kuno|Talk]] 11:22, 24 May 2013 (CDT)

== Gekkou Vietnamese Translation ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I'm Thefirst244 from sonako wiki, I want to redraw your picture 006 of illu in Gekkou light novel. Can you give me the font you use to write on it?

Thanks so much!
--[[User:Miya|Thefirst244]]
: Heyho. I only used standard fonts -- Impact for the names and Candara for the rest. The cleaned picture itself is by courtesy of the Spanish translators, you can find it [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zkq3o7rxiq4q4c8 here] if needed. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:42, 16 March 2013 (CDT)

:: The link is dead ;.; Can someone reupload it? Thanks in advance!
::[[User:Hunk|Hunk]] (12:19, 06 April 2013)
::: Updated link. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 05:58, 6 April 2013 (CDT)
:::: Perfect, thanks! [[User:Hunk|Hunk]] (13:31 CET, 06 April 2013)

: Thank you very much!

:--[[User:Miya|Thefirst244]]

== The F-Ranked Tyrant - Return of a Fallen Genius ==

hi man...

I was wondering, do you think get the new novel by Eiji mikage? I would like to read it, and it is fascinated with HakoMari...

Greetings! Only one question was.
: Heyho, cool that you enjoyed Hakomari. :D At this point, I have no plans of translating Mikage's new series, since I don't have enough energy to pick up any new projects and I want to finish Hakomari/Tsukumodo first. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:14, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

::Hi, thanks for your quick response... No problem, in fact I am very grateful that thanks to you, I know this work, HakoMari... Well I wish you luck in everything you do...

Greetings!

== Regarding Gekkou ==

Gekkou:The Stubborn Will of the Crescent Moon

By any change, did anyone sudmit you the japanese version on Gekkou:The Stubborn Will of the Crescent Moon? Just wondering...
: Nah, but there were a few people that offered to translate the Chinese version, although I haven't heard of them ever since. Nockgeneer (the guy who posted the introduction) might still be at it, though, since it's only been two months since he started. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 06:23, 29 June 2013 (CDT)

Haha thx for the nformation.Was hoping have more to it, since the story was left hanging.

So.........is nockgeneer still doing Crescent Moon who hate to lose/ stubborn whatever? -[[User:Par74583|Par74583]]

== Asking permission for creating a wikia page for Tsukumodo Antique Shop ==

Hi,
let me first thank you for all the wonderful translations that you've done till date, and also for the one's that you'll be doing in future.

Personally Tsukumodo series is one of my favorites. So I was thinking about creating a wikia page for it using your translations as the source material, and that's only if you are okay with it and if it's not fine with you then I will delete everything that I've done. The story till now is so fantastic and fascinating that I would like to tell about this series to all the people out there who are looking for a good read.
Again, thanks for all the translation works.
--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 06:54, 27 July 2013 (CDT)
:Hey, great to hear that you're enjoying Tsukumodo. I hope that I can find some more time to put into this project in the near future -- I want to translate the last volume badly. Regarding the Wikia page: feel free to create that page and spread the word. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:47, 27 July 2013 (CDT)
Well then, will start working on that wiki. Till date i had just done some edits and this will be my first original page. So, i'm pretty slow and might screw up a little. If possible, drop by the page sometime. Once again, thankyou for the trans and will eagerly be waiting for further updates on Tsukumodo :) --[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 22:17, 27 July 2013 (CDT)

User talk:EusthEnoptEron

2013-07-27T11:54:50Z

Agar9691: /* Asking permission for creating a wikia page for Tsukumodo Antique Shop */ new section