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Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Prologue

2008-03-02T09:01:03Z

AlephNull:

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Prologue

2008-03-02T07:57:03Z

AlephNull: New page: The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In parti...

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-03-01T15:02:30Z

AlephNull:

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

= Prologue, Page 13 =

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that the wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that the wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crop is poor, it is said that the wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, it falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

== Discussion ==

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)
: At the very least, even if you chose to use your version "almost none speak of them " should be "almost none speaks them" --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 10:46, 29 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: Yes, in my opinion, it's explanatory. I may be wrong, but the 2 lines make more sense if it is. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 10:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: Literary: "It seems as if a wolf is running in the wheat field." or something like this. I don't like it that way when the whole sentence is translated though. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 10:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm changing this a bit. Gonna pull the "my gaze" closer to the beginning of the sentence. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 10:25, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

= Prologue, Page 14 =

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

== Discussion ==

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

= Chapter 1, Page 17 =

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the plains.

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

== Discussion ==

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

= Chapter 1, Page 18 =

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was somehow able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks didn't live in luxury and still tilled the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meager. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills.

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。(4)

With those thoughts in mind, Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants around. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereafter, the gesturer realised that Lawrence was coming towards him, so he stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every similar incident. (5)

== Discussion ==

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) Regarding そんなわけで -> you had translated it as ".....", um, sorry I forgot it instantly XD . Anyway, the right translation here should be "With those thoughts in mind", because it makes more sense like this and while your version would be the literary translation of the text, as you noticed as well, it didn't really make much sense. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 10:42, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Is it me or 手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない could also be translated as "He stopped gesturing, but he also stopped walking" or something like this? The ない in the end may be directed to both the walking and the running? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:33, 29 February 2008 (PST)

= Chapter 1, Page 19 =

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

== Discussion ==

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

= Chapter 1, Page 20 =

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

== Discussion ==

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

= Chapter 1, Page 21 =

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣｛つ｝れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

== Discussion ==

= Chapter 1, Page 22 =

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

== Discussion ==

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

= Chapter 1, Page 23 =

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

== Discussion ==

= Chapter 1, Page 24 =

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

== Discussion ==

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Sorry, I typoed おつかれさん as おつかれきん a long while back. Someone corrected it, but I didn't notice. >.< Thanks for the info. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:05, 29 February 2008 (PST)

= Chapter 1, Page 25 =

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

== Discussion ==

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

= Chapter 1, Page 26 =

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ！狼ホロが現れたそ！」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

== Discussion ==

Spice & Wolf

2008-03-01T14:38:03Z

AlephNull: /* Series Overview */

[[Category:Hosted Projects]]
[[Image:Ookami no Koushinryou VI.jpg|200px|thumb|A promotional image.]]

Also known as Ookami to Koushinryou/狼と香辛料

== Note ==

Please be aware:

Both the Prologue and Chapter 1 are currently being worked on, but there is no 'official' translation yet. There is however a draft available in the Chapter 1 [[Talk:Spice_&_Wolf:Chapter_01|Discussion Page]], which may contain inaccuracies. Anyone who has good knowledge of Japanese is invited to take a look and critique it.

== Story Synopsis ==
Wolf and Spice’s story revolves around Lawrence Craft, a twenty-five-year-old merchant. His main goal in life is to gather enough money to start his own shop, and he already has been traveling for seven years while gaining experience in the trade. One night when stopped at the town of Pasroe, he finds a centuries-old pagan wolf-deity girl named Horo sleeping in his cart. She appears to be a fifteen-year-old girl, except she possesses a wolf’s tail and ears. She introduces herself as the town’s harvest goddess, who has kept the area blessed with good wheat crops for many years. Despite having the responsibility to watch over the town, she wishes to go back to her homeland in the north called Yoitsu, since she believes that the locals have forsaken their past agreement and therefore she is no longer bound to their land. She makes a deal with Lawrence to take her with him in exchange for her wisdom and supernatural abilities, but as they travel, her true nature draws unwanted attention from the church.

== Translation ==

=== [[Spice & Wolf:Registration Page|Registration]] ===

Those who wish to contribute are asked to first notify a supervisor beforehand.
'''Translators are asked to [[Spice & Wolf:Registration Page|register]] which chapters they're working on''' (see [[Format_guideline#Translators|the Guideline page]] for usage rules).

=== Format Standards ===
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]
*[[Spice & Wolf:guidelines|Spice & Wolf Format Guidelines]] (Draft proposal)

Please refer to this [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674 topic thread] for in depth discussion on the guidelines proposals and other information about this project.

== Updates ==
*February 07, 2008
:*Project page created

== Spice & Wolf / 狼と香辛料 by Hasekura Isuna ==

===Volume 1===
:[[Spice & Wolf:Volume1_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]

::*[[Spice & Wolf:Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[Spice & Wolf:Chapter 01|Chapter 01]]
::*[[Spice & Wolf:Chapter 02|Chapter 02]]
::*[[Spice & Wolf:Chapter 03|Chapter 03]]
::*[[Spice & Wolf:Chapter 04|Chapter 04]]

== Project Staff ==

*Project Administrator: [[User:onizuka-gto|Onizuka-GTO]]
*Project Supervisor: [[User:None|None]]

=== Translators ===

'''ACTIVE'''
::*[[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

=== Editors ===

'''ACTIVE'''
::*[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]]

== Series Overview ==

1. Spice and Wolf - 狼と香辛料 - ISBN-10 4-8402-3302-0 (-13 978-4-8402-3302-6) - Released 2006.02.10

2. Spice and Wolf II - 狼と香辛料 II - ISBN-10 4-8402-3451-5 (-13 978-4-8402-3451-1) - Released 2006.06.10

3. Spice and Wolf III - 狼と香辛料 III - ISBN-10 4-8402-3588-0 (-13 978-4-8402-3588-4) - Released 2006.10.10

4. Spice and Wolf IV - 狼と香辛料 IV - ISBN-10 4-8402-3723-9 (-13 978-4-8402-3723-9) - Released 2007.02.10

5. Spice and Wolf V - 狼と香辛料 V - ISBN-10 4-8402-3933-9 (-13 978-4-8402-3933-2) - Released 2007.08.10

6. Spice and Wolf VI - 狼と香辛料 VI - ISBN-10 4-8402-4114-7 (-13 978-4-8402-4114-4) - Released 2007.12.10

7. Spice and Wolf VII Side Colors - 狼と香辛料 VII Side Colors - ISBN-10 4-8402-4169-4 (-13 978-4-8402-4169-4) - Released 2008.02.10

Talk:Spice & Wolf

2008-03-01T14:37:35Z

AlephNull: /* Volume information (for the main page) */

== Comments ==

Horo's closer to 600 years old, not 200. :l

== I say Horo's 1000years old. ==

...then again I have nothing to back it up, but then neither do you.

So until some body shows me some solid evidence (i.e. written sentence), this point is moot.

(^_^)

--[[User:Onizuka-gto|Oni]] 17:38, 8 February 2008 (PST)

== Line on Main Page ==

"Possible errors in the Japanese text publish will be expected to be higher, due to the unavailability of a human Japanese RAWS -> Japanese Text -> English translator."

What's this mean exactly?--[[User:Velocity7|Velocity7]] 21:45, 8 February 2008 (PST)

:I think he means the OCR is not made by someone who's proficient in Japanese, so there may be errors in the process. [[User:RasqualTwilight|Seven Eleven]] 06:58, 9 February 2008 (PST)

::I think there may have been some miscommunication between Onizuka and me. We have raws, I'll be proofing the Chapter 1 raws as I translate, but I'm not that skilled in Japanese or translating yet, so there are going to be errors. That's pretty much how the project is going to go, until more skilled translators join in. Meantime, I'd like to invite anyone who know knows Japanese well to critique my draft in the [[Talk:Spice & Wolf:Chapter 01|Discussion Page]]; I'm hoping this can be a learning project for me. Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 10:36, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Volume information (for the main page) ==

Here's the ISBN and release information for the seven current volumes, according to ja.wiki:

I would post it but I don't have an account.

1. Spice and Wolf - 狼と香辛料 - ISBN-10 4-8402-3302-0 (-13 978-4-8402-3302-6) - Released 2006.02.10

2. Spice and Wolf II - 狼と香辛料 II - ISBN-10 4-8402-3451-5 (-13 978-4-8402-3451-1) - Released 2006.06.10

3. Spice and Wolf III - 狼と香辛料 III - ISBN-10 4-8402-3588-0 (-13 978-4-8402-3588-4) - Released 2006.10.10

4. Spice and Wolf IV - 狼と香辛料 IV - ISBN-10 4-8402-3723-9 (-13 978-4-8402-3723-9) - Released 2007.02.10

5. Spice and Wolf V - 狼と香辛料 V - ISBN-10 4-8402-3933-9 (-13 978-4-8402-3933-2) - Released 2007.08.10

6. Spice and Wolf VI - 狼と香辛料 VI - ISBN-10 4-8402-4114-7 (-13 978-4-8402-4114-4) - Released 2007.12.10

7. Spice and Wolf VII Side Colors - 狼と香辛料 VII Side Colors - ISBN-10 4-8402-4169-4 (-13 978-4-8402-4169-4) - Released 2008.02.10

: Thanks, copied. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 06:37, 1 March 2008 (PST)

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T17:10:36Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 26 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣｛つ｝れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Sorry, I typoed おつかれさん as おつかれきん a long while back. Someone corrected it, but I didn't notice. >.< Thanks for the info. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:05, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ！狼ホロが現れたそ！」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T17:05:05Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 24 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣｛つ｝れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Sorry, I typoed おつかれさん as おつかれきん a long while back. Someone corrected it, but I didn't notice. >.< Thanks for the info. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:05, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T16:58:49Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 23 */ added space between 2nd last and last paragraphs

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣｛つ｝れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T16:52:33Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 22 */ typo

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣｛つ｝れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T16:37:52Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 21 */ typo

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣｛つ｝れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T16:32:27Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 20 */ typo

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T16:12:07Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 18 */ typo

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介｛かい｝さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed.

　修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T16:00:17Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 17 */ fixed typos

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬も近いと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年か前に建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T15:12:58Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)
: I think I misunderstood another thing as well. I thought the よう here meant 'appearance', but is it used here in another sense, e.g. one of the senses [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%82%88%E3%81%86%E3%81%AB&stype=0&dtype=3 here]? Would the よう in 麦畑の中を狼が走っているのようは見える have the meaning of 'appearance'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 07:12, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T12:19:02Z

AlephNull:

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

: Oh I think I see, 麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見える'''から'''だ. I thought the から meant that 'the appearance of wolves running could be seen '''from''' the middle of the wheat field'. Is it supposed to be explanatory instead? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 04:19, 29 February 2008 (PST)

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T11:49:14Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Actually, I prefer the rhythm of 'The high autumn sky, so clear'. It fits closer to that of the text, and IMO better with the other two lines as they are now. Also, even if they both sounded equally good (and all other things equal), I'd prefer to stick with a translation that's closer to the original meaning and structure. And, er, I '''want''' much discussion. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:49, 29 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-29T11:35:50Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

: I skipped over the "{}" explanation before and didn't know that's furigana added by the author. Thought it's something you did on your own. I've read some manga in Japanese and, indeed, when katakana is used as furigana, the author tries to put a bit more emphasis on the word. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)
: If the line is changed to "those things are now said" the connection can easily be made, don't you think so? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

: I was left with the impression that it was stating the reason for the first line. I don't have time to check through it right now, as I have to go out, but I'll definitely check that line one more time tonight.

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

: I wasn't sure whether it should be crops or crop when talking about everything that has been harvested so it's my mistake. :S --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

: I, too, noticed it's the coming year after coming year, but it just sounds strange(to me at least) in English to say passing year after passing year. But I guess that if Horo's age is taken into account... maybe in the past they did say passing year after passing year. But it just sounds strange. So I changed it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:01, 27 February 2008 (PST)

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

: Ok, I have a feeling that you misunderstood me ^^`. I'm not saying "The autumn sky, so high, so clear." should be like that, because it's grammatically right, but rather because it sounds better. Didn't think a simple suggestion would lead to so much discussion :P --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 04:07, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: Oops, thanks :) I'll keep it in mind, but these things have a habit of slipping out. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:35, 29 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:My mistake, you are right, "So it is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

:The sentence would still mean the same thing if it was " ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもない" but the なんでもない gives it more emphasis that it doesn't even have anything related to them. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 16:33, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-27T11:51:55Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: Is that explicitly stated by the writer, or just an inference? If the line were 秋の空は高'''い'''、とても澄んでいた instead, I would understand it as simply 'The autumn sky is high, it is very clear [lit: had turned cloudless]', but with the sky being clear implying nothing about it appearing high. Such an implication may be formed by a reader, but the text itself wouldn't suggest it. Do you mean that the author's use of 高く instead of 高い indicates an implication? Also, in general, what's the difference between (subject)は(adjective) and (subject)は(verb), where the adjective and verb both have the same stem? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 03:51, 27 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: おつかれ is actually a short form (or it may seem a little more informal) derived from おつかれさん or おつかれさま. in my opinion "おつかれさま" is a more correct, formal and common way of using it. they all have the same meaning. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 00:57, 27 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-26T02:58:15Z

AlephNull:

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There are also forum threads [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a here], as well at at [http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=61343 AnimeSuki] and the [http://z15.invisionfree.com/Wolf_and_Spice/index.php?showtopic=5 Spice and Wolf forums].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] (this message last edited 18:58, 25 February 2008 (PST))

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-26T02:26:50Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

: Ah, what about 'rather jokingly', or simply 'jokingly'? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 18:26, 25 February 2008 (PST)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-26T01:59:09Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

Sorry, huge post incoming.

I disagree with many of your edits on 25 Feb 08. Some because I think the actual meaning was misinterpreted, many because of stylistic disagreement, and many more are just my nitpicks. I'll elaborate on some of them further down. I'm not sure I want to change most of them back though, because I expect lots of other people will have ideas on how things should be written as well, and these will continue to differ from mine. For my part, that's ok; I'm maintaining my own private copy of the translation on my comp separate from the one here. It consists of the parts of my own translation that I'm happy with, and will contain parts from other people's that I like, so any edits that I disagree with here won't affect me. I also think that a 'free say' approach, as opposed to a 'go through the (not so good to begin with) translator' approach will lead to much more discussion, and I think I'd enjoy discussion on any aspect of the translation, no matter how small or nitpicky. I hope you (and anyone else) won't take my disagreement here (and in future) the wrong way. :) I'll express my disagreement, maybe even blunty at times, but only for the sake of discussion.

On to the details. Your edits are on top, mine prior to them below:

it is said that a wolf is running,
they say that the wolf is running.

I feel it's _the_ wolf, not merely a wolf because 狼, which is a fairly common character, has furigana next to it, and the furigana is in katakana rather than the more commonly used hiragana. This feels like special emphasis to me, though I haven't read enough books in general to be able to properly judge. Also, I use 'they' instead of it to link it with the fifth line:

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.
They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

I think 'these things' refers to the things in the first three lines. Using a common 'they' throughout links them together, whereas if you use 'it' for the first three lines, there doesn't seem to be a good way to connect them with the fifth line. While 洒落 does mean witticism, [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E6%B4%92%E8%90%BD%E3%81%9F&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=01916500 洒落た] can also means fashionable. [http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=UTF-8&p=%E3%81%A1%E3%82%87%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A8&dtype=3&dname=2na&stype=0&pagenum=1&index=02770300 ちょっとした] can mean 'significantly' as well as 'slightly'. It's sort of like the words 'quite' and 'rather' in English. I went with 'casually' to capture some of the 'fashionable' meaning, and 'lightly' to capture some of the 'witticism' meaning, but honestly I'm not sure how to properly translate it. I can't remember why I dropped the ちょっとした (i.e. why I didn't write something like 'rather lightly and casually' instead, might have been because I was trying to make Horo sound more firm overall in the prologue. There are too many と思った s and similar things present already, maybe I figured I could avoid introducing another uncertain word here. I don't think the things said were meant to be witticisms exactly though, and I don't think ちょっとした has the sense of 'petty' here. (maybe 'slightly' or 'significantly', or maybe even vague)

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.
From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

Given the size of a wheat field, I don't think it'll only seem like one wolf. Also, in the last line of the prologue, it says that '(In) the wheat fields, _many_ wolves were running'. I don't think 'because' is necessary. In the Japanese text, there is no indication that it is a direct explanation of the previous line, but given it's content, implicity it's supposed to be. So I don't think we have to be explicit here, just state the content of the line as it is.

At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.
When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

Your sentence has an explicit sense of 'there are times when the crops are good, and there are times when they are poor', which isn't present in the original. Also, I think 'when the crop is poor' would be better, 'the crops are poor' feels like it's looking at individual crops, while 'the crop is poor' feels like it's looking at the harvest as a whole. Maybe this is just me though.

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.
The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

It's 来る年も来る年も [lit: coming year after coming year], not simply 年がら年中 or 連年, so I think it should be stronger, like 'passing year after passing year', not simply 'year after year'. I gave even more emphasis to 'passing year after passing year' by flanking it with commas, because I think the prologue has a sense of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ''mono no aware''] and I wanted to bring it out in this line. Might not be the right choice though. Maybe there's no extra need for me to emphasize it. Strunk and White also says to put parenthetical (secondary, descriptive) phrases within such commas, but I don't know about the converse, and here I'm trying to emphasize it rather than make it seem secondary.

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.
Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here.

The original Japanese line had a concluding quality to it, i.e. ultimately, this is what Horo thinks. The first line is shorter and more compact, so I feel it is more conclusive. Also, see Momogan's comment on とされて below. The breakdown is とする -> とされる (passive form) -> とされている (te form) -> とされていない (negative), so I think the literal meaning of 自分はもうここでは必要とされていない is 'I'm already not needed (by them) to be here'.

Few other things outside the prologue as well, getting long and maybe this isn't the right section for them. I'll talk about them later. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:59, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-25T23:19:21Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said that a wolf is running,

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears to be a wolf running through the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the outside, but it seems that, like a flaw in a gem, trouble, too, is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

Sadly, those things are now said as petty witticism, while almost nobody speaks them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village, who tend to the wheat year after year, live for no longer than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off.

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or maybe they think it's no longer essential to faithfully keep the agreement of old.

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)''' Don't take them as a whole.

Ultimately, I think there is no longer a point in me remaining here. (Or: Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky usually drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

From the direction they are headed, memories of my birthplace in the north come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from the sky to the wheat, my gaze falls upon my ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better. "To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons." [[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] xx:xx, xx February 2008

: "In this village, when the ripe and resplendent wheat sways in the wind, it is said say that a wolf is running, because from its appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what appears/seems to be a wolf running through the wheat fields. Also, when the wind is so strong that the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that a wolf has trampled them. At times, when the crops are poor, it is said that a wolf has eaten them." I'll edit it. If you think something isn't quite right, change it. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Oooh, I get it. the flaw in a gem part simply describes the next sentence. What Horo is saying is that the trouble that is like a flaw in a gem is the fact that nobody speaks the phrases from the first three lines with the affection from the past. I'll translate しかし as "sadly" instead of "however". I think it's better that way here. But I guess that brings us back to the previous line which doesn't really sound as good.

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

: With the things said in (2) now it makes more sense. She's saying that perhaps it would have been worse if things hadn't changed over all the years that have passed and people still said and acted as back in the old days. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 11:51, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

::: ok what the writer is trying to say when he says the sky is high is that there are no clouds so it appears "high". - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:02, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely horse cart ride across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that earlier he had thought winter was drawing near, because it was cold. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

Lawrence, a merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now and was about to turn twenty-five this year, gave a large and peaceful yawn[or maybe "big/large and relaxed yawn"?] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

Because the trees and tall-grass grew sparser, the view was very good and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some young aristocrat [ or "aristocrat son"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] from somewhere got the idea of building a fine structure like that in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent and the gates were incredibly well-wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: Rearranged the second and third sentences a bit. What do you think? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:27, 25 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When its construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating a new patron, but the monastery was able to somehow obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants, so Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks don't live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them would have been fairly meagre. On top of that, you'd have to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling they were worse than even thieves, but, still, there were times when trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Just a little note for future reference -> Stop using it's(it is) when it's about owning something. It must be "its". I think this is the third time I see this mistake and I'll fix it again, as it doesn't take much time, but keep in mind the right grammar :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 12:36, 25 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

: おつかれ - thanks for your hard work. emphasis on "hard work". おつかれさん or おつかれさま generally means the same thing. - [[User:Tsuyuri|Tsuyuri]] 02:12, 25 feb 2008 (GMT +8)

: But what about the meaning of おつかれきん? I know おつかれ literally means 'It's been tiring', but this (and similar literal translations) usually don't sound normal in English. I know 'Good job' is a common (interpreted) translation. Doesn't fit here though, I wanted to hear some others, and maybe get ideas for this and future instances of おつかれ. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 15:19, 25 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-23T21:54:23Z

AlephNull: /* Prologue, Page 13 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂｛むぎほ｝が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑の中を狼が走っているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼に踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

They now say these things lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺れる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Seen from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though the autumn sky hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないとも思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここでは必要とされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, it feels like I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲はたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying a sigh with them.

　視線を空から麦畑に戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a ''proud tail'' wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚……ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつものやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思っていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛ぎょしゃだい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草も木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見えている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないが、こんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独自に物資を調達しているようで、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly (?) anticipating a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考え物だ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves, but there were still times where trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでロレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこげ茶色の汚｛きたな｝い作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けた。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿に、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「……騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士は一瞬迷う素振りを見せたものの、甘｛あま｝い菓子の誘惑には勝てなかったようだ。

　ただ、騎士としての意地か、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいてずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向き直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せた。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣れたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ……うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げた。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねぇ」と答える。実際は大嘘｛うそ｝だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛がし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたての靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east.

　この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作を祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とが｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やっき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くで鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれさん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向けた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いでいる内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたぞ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかけていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-21T20:32:00Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 18 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

They now say these things rather lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying along a sigh. [ alt: my northern birthplace? ]

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly (?) anticipating a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves, but there were still times where trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. (?) His eyes narrowed. From the direction of the monastery, someone was gesturing at him.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east. The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-21T20:19:59Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 22 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

They now say these things rather lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying along a sigh. [ alt: my northern birthplace? ]

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly (?) anticipating a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves, but there were still times where trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. His eyes narrowed. From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something going on in secret. (?) Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

It was amusing how widely the knight had missed the mark, but Lawrence of course concurred without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave.　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded assent and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been a real treat. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler instead when he was young. (?) It was ages since he last had anything sweet.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

However, it had nothing to do with pagans. First of all, pagans were only present much farther north and farther east. The festival here wasn't the kind that required knights to be dispatched. No matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich yield. (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Wouldn't that be やはり秘密裏に行われるもの'''がある'''なのか instead? I think the knight is saying specifically that the pagan festival is [ as he expected ] practiced in secret. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

: Thanks :) What does the なんでもない in the first sentence mean? If we drop it, ただ、それは別に異教徒のもので would still be "But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans." - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:19, 21 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-21T19:04:50Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 20 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

They now say these things rather lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying along a sigh. [ alt: my northern birthplace? ]

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly (?) anticipating a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves, but there were still times where trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. His eyes narrowed. From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. His blonde hair appeared to be yet uncut and his body showed no signs of being in the field before, however he poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. The best way to deal with such people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away in no time.

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without furthur remark (?), and informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. ]　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been really delicious. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler when he was young. (?) It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

It wasn't simply the fact that the festival was pagan that was the problem. (?) For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. (?) As for the festivals celebrated in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't needed. (?) [ meaning of しかいない? ] It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ] (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-21T18:45:32Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 21 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

They now say these things rather lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying along a sigh. [ alt: my northern birthplace? ]

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly (?) anticipating a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves, but there were still times where trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. His eyes narrowed. From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly grey, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. It appeared that his blonde hair had yet to be cut short, and his body showed no signs of having been in the field before, yet he enthusiastically poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. (?) Such a comrade/holding on to surplus/dealing with/limit reached (!) In a flash, Lawrence drew up a plan. (?) [ meaning of 図に乗る? ] (2)

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held, (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

It was quite rude, being called over like this, (!) [ lit: "Being called to come over was quite the remark"? ] but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally there wouldn't be knights here."

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited being questioned and slight wrinkles formed around his eyebrows. (?) Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, further wrinkles appeared. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite drawn to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence wore his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without furthur remark (?), and informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. ]　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been really delicious. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler when he was young. (?) It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

It wasn't simply the fact that the festival was pagan that was the problem. (?) For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. (?) As for the festivals celebrated in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't needed. (?) [ meaning of しかいない? ] It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ] (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-21T18:24:05Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 19 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

They now say these things rather lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying along a sigh. [ alt: my northern birthplace? ]

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly (?) anticipating a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves, but there were still times where trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. His eyes narrowed. From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] It was as if anyone anywhere ought to know who he was, even without first introducing himself. (2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that spread out to the south of Lawrence there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence realized that the knight was not alone. Another solitary figure, possibly a guard, could be seen in the direction of the monastery.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly grey, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. It appeared that his blonde hair had yet to be cut short, and his body showed no signs of having been in the field before, yet he enthusiastically poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. (?) Such a comrade/holding on to surplus/dealing with/limit reached (!) In a flash, Lawrence drew up a plan. (?) [ meaning of 図に乗る? ] (2)

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held, (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

Being called to come over was quite the remark (!) [ Stab in the dark: "It was quite rude, being called over like this"? ], but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally, there wouldn't be knights here, yeah?"

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited (?) being questioned, and his eyebrows creased a little. (?) [ meaning of 眉根 and 寄せた? ] Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, his eyebrows creased further. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite attracted to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence put on his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without furthur remark (?), and informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. ]　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been really delicious. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler when he was young. (?) It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

It wasn't simply the fact that the festival was pagan that was the problem. (?) For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. (?) As for the festivals celebrated in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't needed. (?) [ meaning of しかいない? ] It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ] (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-21T17:51:39Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 18 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時は狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れをこめてその言葉を使う者はほとんどいない。

They now say these things rather lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying along a sigh. [ alt: my northern birthplace? ]

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: とされていない is the passive of としていない. Horo is not needed -by- them, hence the passive is used. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑を、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気は良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly (?) anticipating a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves, but there were still times where trading with them was convenient.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery, feeling reluctance and lingering regret. His eyes narrowed. From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者はねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのは面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスは仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty tawny-brown [ alt: saffron? ] fatigues, (2) and the one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could bring problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

: 在野 means someone not working in a public office. 介さず is the negative of the verb 介す. I think the translation you have there is good. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

: Sorry, typo, should be こげ茶色, i.e. the colour of black tea. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:51, 21 February 2008 (PST)

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

: I think 後々 can be quite vague, could either be near or distant. "Down the road" sounds nice there. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服は、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] Without introducing himself, who would know his name? (!)(2)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that opened to the south of Lawrence, there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence noticed that somehow the knight was no longer alone. Another lone figure could be seen in the direction of the monastery, possibly a guard.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

(2) というあたりで and 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ

: というあたりで would mean "around that point/distance." I think the translation is good. 自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いたげだ would mean "It was as if he was trying to say that even if he didn't state who he was, anybody would know who he was regardless of who they were or where they came from." [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly grey, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. It appeared that his blonde hair had yet to be cut short, and his body showed no signs of having been in the field before, yet he enthusiastically poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. (?) Such a comrade/holding on to surplus/dealing with/limit reached (!) In a flash, Lawrence drew up a plan. (?) [ meaning of 図に乗る? ] (2)

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held, (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

: It can mean anything that is very small. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

(2) こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

: The only way to deal with these type of people was to stay calm and composed. Because they get carried away (図に乗る) in no time. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

Being called to come over was quite the remark (!) [ Stab in the dark: "It was quite rude, being called over like this"? ], but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally, there wouldn't be knights here, yeah?"

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited (?) being questioned, and his eyebrows creased a little. (?) [ meaning of 眉根 and 寄せた? ] Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, his eyebrows creased further. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite attracted to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence put on his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色を浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りをしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ] (1)

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards." (1)

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without furthur remark (?), and informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. ]　(2)

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been really delicious. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler when he was young. (?) It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap. (3)

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

It wasn't simply the fact that the festival was pagan that was the problem. (?) For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. (?) As for the festivals celebrated in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't needed. (?) [ meaning of しかいない? ] It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ] (4)

=== Discussion ===

(1) やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか

: Maybe "So there is something going on in secret [just as i thought]" [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(2) 騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

: How wide the knight had missed the mark was amusing (as in the information he had gathered was incorrect) but Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without correcting him, and informed him that he had to leave. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(3) もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつもりもロレンスにはない

: I think the translation is good. もっとも - but then again, かといって - neither, つまり=つもり (typo) [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

(4) ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

: But, It didn't have anything to do with pagans. Firstly, there were only pagans in the far north and far east. The festival celebrated in the area weren't ones that required knights to be dispatched. It was a festival that celebrated the harvest and prayed for a rich harvest - a kind of festival that is done everywhere. [[User:Momogan|Momogan]] 00:41, 20 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-20T03:51:35Z

AlephNull: /* Prologue, Page 13 */ rewrote lots of stuff

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the wheat, ripe and resplendent, sways in the wind, they say that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From it's appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時わ狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the stalks fall over, they say that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well, but like a flaw in a gem, it seems trouble too is present. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れおこめてその言葉お使う者わほとんどいない。

They now say these things rather lightly and casually, while almost none speak of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の故郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed, memories of the northern homelands come to mind, carrying along a sigh. [ alt: my northern birthplace? ]

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning from sky to wheat, my gaze falls upon a proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑お、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気わ良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating (?) a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants (?) and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves. (?) but even so, there were times where it was convenient to trade with them.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence reluctantly looked towards the monastery, and suddenly squinted. (?) [ sounds strange ] From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者わねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのわ面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスわ仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty brown fatigues. (2) The one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could lead to problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服わ、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いだけだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] Without introducing himself, who would know his name? (!)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that opened to the south of Lawrence, there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence noticed that somehow the knight was no longer alone. Another lone figure could be seen in the direction of the monastery, possibly a guard.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly grey, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. It appeared that his blonde hair had yet to be cut short, and his body showed no signs of having been in the field before, yet he enthusiastically poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. (?) Such a comrade/holding on to surplus/dealing with/limit reached (!) In a flash, Lawrence drew up a plan. (?) [ meaning of 図に乗る? ]

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held, (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

Being called to come over was quite the remark (!) [ Stab in the dark: "It was quite rude, being called over like this"? ], but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally, there wouldn't be knights here, yeah?"

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited (?) being questioned, and his eyebrows creased a little. (?) [ meaning of 眉根 and 寄せた? ] Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, his eyebrows creased further. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite attracted to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence put on his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色お浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りおしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ]

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards."

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without furthur remark (?), and informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. ]

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been really delicious. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler when he was young. (?) It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつまりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap.

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

It wasn't simply the fact that the festival was pagan that was the problem. (?) For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. (?) As for the festivals celebrated in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't needed. (?) [ meaning of しかいない? ] It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-20T01:15:03Z

AlephNull: /* Discussion */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時わ狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said that the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the exterior, but it seems there's latent trouble as well, like a flaw in a gem. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れおこめてその言葉お使う者わほとんどいない。

Such things are spoken rather lightly and casually nowadays, while almost no one speaks of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の胡郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed lies the northern country, and a sigh escapes as I remember it.

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning my gaze from sky to wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑お、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気わ良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. In fact, it could also be that it was cold when he first descended to the plains, but is now good weather. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating (?) a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants (?) and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves. (?) but even so, there were times where it was convenient to trade with them.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence reluctantly looked towards the monastery, and suddenly squinted. (?) [ sounds strange ] From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者わねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのわ面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスわ仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty brown fatigues. (2) The one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could lead to problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服わ、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いだけだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] Without introducing himself, who would know his name? (!)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that opened to the south of Lawrence, there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence noticed that somehow the knight was no longer alone. Another lone figure could be seen in the direction of the monastery, possibly a guard.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly grey, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. It appeared that his blonde hair had yet to be cut short, and his body showed no signs of having been in the field before, yet he enthusiastically poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. (?) Such a comrade/holding on to surplus/dealing with/limit reached (!) In a flash, Lawrence drew up a plan. (?) [ meaning of 図に乗る? ]

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held, (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

Being called to come over was quite the remark (!) [ Stab in the dark: "It was quite rude, being called over like this"? ], but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally, there wouldn't be knights here, yeah?"

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited (?) being questioned, and his eyebrows creased a little. (?) [ meaning of 眉根 and 寄せた? ] Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, his eyebrows creased further. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite attracted to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence put on his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色お浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りおしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ]

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards."

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without furthur remark (?), and informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. ]

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been really delicious. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler when he was young. (?) It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつまりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap.

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

It wasn't simply the fact that the festival was pagan that was the problem. (?) For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. (?) As for the festivals celebrated in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't needed. (?) [ meaning of しかいない? ] It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-20T01:08:32Z

AlephNull: /* Chapter 1, Page 17 */

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.

Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.

There's also a [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=1674&st=0&sk=t&sd=a forum thread].

Thanks. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 13 ==

　この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼｛オオカミ｝が走るという。

In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that the wolf is running.

　風に揺られる様子が、麦畑｛むぎほ｝の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like wolves running in the wheat fields.

　また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時わ狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said that the wolf has eaten it.

　上手｛うま｝い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕｛きず｝だな、と思った。

All appears well on the exterior, but it seems there's latent trouble as well, like a flaw in a gem. (?)

　しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落｛しゃれ｝た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れおこめてその言葉お使う者わほとんどいない。

Such things are spoken rather lightly and casually nowadays, while almost no one speaks of them with the affection and fear of old.

　ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

　来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

　むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

　ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀｛りちぎ｝に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

　何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]'''(!)'''

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

　東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

　その雲の流れる先、北の胡郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed lies the northern country, and a sigh escapes as I remember it.

　視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢｛じまん｝の尻尾｛しっぽ｝が目に入った。

Returning my gaze from sky to wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

　することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

: "In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, '''the''' wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Though I cant read japanese, I think you should try to rephrase the sentence a little bit so that it will sound a bit better.
:"To this village, the walk of a wolf is symbolyzed by the swaying of the rippened ears of wheat in the wind. Their swaying in appearance somewhat orchestras a wolf roaming inside the field. It is also said the trail of a wolf can be illustrated by the fallen wheat stalks ripped by the strong wind, while a wolf taking its share on the crops are shown by the poor harvest seasons."

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

: To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
: How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]]

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

: より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
: "Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
: "For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. ''proud tail''?

: I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)

:Does such a tone work for Horo? [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)

:I think it does :) --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)

と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Prologue, Page 14 ==

　秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

　今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

　麦畑お、たくさんの狼｛オオカミ｝が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

=== Discussion ===

:Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
:"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)

:: The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 17 ==

「これで最後、かな？」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

　そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

　天気わ良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和｛ひより｝だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘｛うそ｝のようだ。

The weather was fine, and no wind stirred. Perfect for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. It seemed ridiculous that he had thought winter was drawing near since it was cold earlier. (3)

　行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳｛とし｝にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台｛おしゃたい｝の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been traveling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

　背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方｛かなた｝には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

　どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙｛へんぴ｝な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉｛もんぴ｝は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and incredibly the gates were wrought in iron. Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered to by a similar number of male servants.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?
: How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)

: Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

: かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

: It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

: Momogan pointed out that the second sentence is in the past tense, i.e. it was cold previously, but the good weather now makes Lawrence's previous thought that winter was near seem like a lie. I don't think it's a very far back past tense, since later on Lawrence tells the knight that he went to the mountain village and is now returning, i.e. it was at most a few days ago when he previously was at this place and thought that winter was near. Also, I'm gonna go with the more literal 'fine weather', rather than the more interpreted 'fair weather'. - [[User:AlephNull|AlephNull]] 17:08, 19 February 2008 (PST)

: "Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --[[User:ShApEsHiFt3r|ShApEsHiFt3r]] 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==

　修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客｛こきゃく｝の匂｛にお｝いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野｛ざいや｝の商人を介さず独立に物資を調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚｛はかな｝くも散ったのだった。

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating (?) a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants (?) and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

　とはいっても彼らは贅沢｛ぜいたく｝もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入｛みい｝りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付｛きふ｝をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

　単純な売買の相手としては盗人｛ぬすっと｝よりも性質｛たち｝の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves. (?) but even so, there were times where it was convenient to trade with them.

　そんなわけでラレンスは未練｛みれん｝がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence reluctantly looked towards the monastery, and suddenly squinted. (?) [ sounds strange ] From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ？」

"What's this?"

　下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い｛きたな｝作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者わねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのわ面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスわ仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty brown fatigues. (2) The one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could lead to problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

　すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢｛ごうまん｝なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

　ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声を上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form could be seen more clearly, and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士｛きし｝？」

"......a knight?"

　最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛｛まぎ｝れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服わ、銀色の甲冑｛かつちゅう｝だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be, he initially thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The grey clothes he saw were actually silver armour covering from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

　会話をするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いだけだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] Without introducing himself, who would know his name? (!)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用｛にゅうよう｝ですかね？」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

　もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. In the fields that opened to the south of Lawrence, there were servants working, and he could now count their numbers.

　そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, Lawrence noticed that somehow the knight was no longer alone. Another lone figure could be seen in the direction of the monastery, possibly a guard.

「行商人？貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There are no towns and settlements in the direction you came from."

　銀の胸｛むね｝当てに刻まれた真｛ま｝っ赤｛か｝な十字架｛か｝を誇らしげに見せるように胸を張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.

=== Discussion ===

(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ？. It also sounds firm. ]

== Chapter 1, Page 20 ==

　しかし、肩｛かた｝に直接取り付けられている外套｛がいとう｝もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士を示すものだ。金色の髪｛かみ｝の毛を短く刈｛か｝り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦を潜｛くぐ｝り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士｛きし｝に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩｛やから｝は余裕｛よゆう｝を持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly grey, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. It appeared that his blonde hair had yet to be cut short, and his body showed no signs of having been in the field before, yet he enthusiastically poised himself like a knight, full of fighting spirit. (?) Such a comrade/holding on to surplus/dealing with/limit reached (!) In a flash, Lawrence drew up a plan. (?) [ meaning of 図に乗る? ]

　だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事をせずに懐｛ふところ｝から皮袋を取り出して、ゆっくりと口を縛｛しば｝る紐｛ひも｝を解｛ほど｝いた。中には蜂蜜を固めた菓子｛かし｝が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

　「一つどうです？」

"How about one?"

　「む」

"Mmm."

　と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手を伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

So the knight said (?), but his obstinacy held, (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between the nod and his hand reaching out.

　「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩を売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I went there to sell salt, and am returning through here."

　「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か？」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

　「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

　ロレンスは言いながら荷台を振り向いて、覆｛おお｝いを剥（＊）｛は｝いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. A year's wages of the knight standing in front of him would be trivial compared to their worth. (?)

　「ふん。これは？」

"Hmm. What's this?"

=== Discussion ===

(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

== Chapter 1, Page 21 ==

　「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received from the village."

　毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩を売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威｛もうい｝を振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It had been left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ meaning of 置いてある here? ] As the weather grows colder, it would be more resistant to insects. (?) In light of the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage ] in the northwest last year, Lawrence planned to travel there to market it. (?)

　「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

　呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋をちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

Being called to come over was quite the remark (!) [ Stab in the dark: "It was quite rude, being called over like this"? ], but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Lawrence faced the knight, deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier.

　「何があったんですかね？普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally, there wouldn't be knights here, yeah?"

　若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根｛まゆね｝にしわを寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋を見るとさらにしわを寄せだ。

The young knight felt discomfited (?) being questioned, and his eyebrows creased a little. (?) [ meaning of 眉根 and 寄せた? ] Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, his eyebrows creased further. (?)

　うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐を解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite attracted to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

　「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼をしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of ーなるまい? Similar to ーならない？ ]

　騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭を下げだ。

The knight was reasonable. (?) Lawrence put on his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

　「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備を任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 22 ==

　なんだ、という落胆｛らくたん｝の色お浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りおしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected colour appearing on his face/even third-rate was good. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence acted troubled for a while and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ]

　「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯｛ひきょう｝な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards."

　騎士｛きし｝の的外｛まとはず｝れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すると、おいとまを告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence of course naturally expressed his agreement without furthur remark (?), and informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. ]

　騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜｛はちみつ｝菓子｛かし｝の礼を言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him again for the honey drop. (?)

　よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘｛あま｝いものを食べたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It must have been really delicious. For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much money that it was in fact better to have become a cobbler when he was young. (?) It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

　もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつまりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (!) [ Meaning of もっとも, かといって and つまり? ] The candy didn't come cheap.

　「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival eh."

　修道院を後にしてだいぶ経｛た｝ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉を呟｛つぶや｝いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and smiled uncomfortably.

　騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. Besides the knight (?), it was something that all the locals should know about.

　ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類｛たぐい｝のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫を祝い豊作の祈願｛きがん｝するお祭りだ。

It wasn't simply the fact that the festival was pagan that was the problem. (?) For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. (?) As for the festivals celebrated in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't needed. (?) [ meaning of しかいない? ] It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 23 ==

　ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他｛ほか｝のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖｛とか｝らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat unique from the others, being grander. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported back to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the hands of the church wouldn't reach into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here. (?)

　それに、最近教会は異端審問｛いたんしんもん｝や異教徒の改宗に躍起｛やつき｝になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍｛めずら｝しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すということがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with things like inquisitions and converting pagans, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? ] in the cities are no longer uncommon. Things are becoming different from the past, when the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

　教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇｛きょうこう｝は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to fall apart. It seems this was what the townsfolk thought but did not voice. As things turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the repair costs for the grand cathedral. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

　そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

　「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's gonna be tough doing business anywhere."

　ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile [ phrasing ], Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

　ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗｛きれい｝な黄金色｛こがねいろ｝だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙｛カエル｝も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Tiny bird shadows will soon be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

=== Discussion ===

== Chapter 1, Page 24 ==

　麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日｛あさって｝には行わ
れるかもしれない。

The harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival ought to be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

　ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福｛ゆうふく｝になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵｛はくしゃく｝が近隣に名が轟｛とどろ｝くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒｛さわ｝ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which boasted fairly high crop yields. Large harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) [ text seems stronger ] in the neighbourhood as an eccentric. The nobleman peculiarly enjoyed gardening as a hobby, and was cooperative with the natural environment and festivals, [ phrasing ] and every year there was a terrific racket, with drinking and singing and other revelry.

　ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was too bad that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

　そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物｛さきもの｝買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

In the corner of the village wheat fields, peasants were piling wheat on a cart. Lawrence called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat had ripened beautifully. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー？」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?" [ should I drop the 'Mr'? ]

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the big group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. In that field, whoever's the slow one [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

　農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. [ or smiles? ] This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could carry such happy countenances.

=== Discussion ===

(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

== Chapter 1, Page 25 ==

　ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

　その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでいた。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people in this area, many voices were shouting something from the middle of the field .

　それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃｛はや｝し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵｛ののし｝っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to ridicule their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

　ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and soon could discern the commotion.

「狼｛オオカミ｝がいるぞ狼がいるぞ！」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!"

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ！」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴｛つか｝むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ！」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

　皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣｛ひとがき｝の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind the crowd without any of them noticing.

　しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

　狼とは豊作の神の化身｛けしん｝で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would possess whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ！」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ！」

"Hear, hear, those who haven't finished cutting!" (?)

=== Discussion ===

(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji, i.e. jeering, but in a rhythmic manner? Consider all the repetitions in the cries in this and the following page.

== Chapter 1, Page 26 ==

「欲張りの手からはホロが逃げるぞ！」

"Horo flees from greedy hands!" (!)

「狼｛オオカミ｝を掴｛つか｝んだのは誰だ誰だ誰だ」

"Who's gonna catch the wolf, whosit whosit whosit."

「ヤレイだヤレイだヤレイだ！」

"Yarei's it Yarei's it Yarei's it!"

　ロレンスが荷馬車から降りて人垣｛ひとがき｝の向こうをひょいと覗｛のぞ｝くと、ちょうどヤレイが最後の一束を掴んだところだった。土と汗｛あせ｝に汚｛よご｝れた真っ黒な顔に苦笑いをいっぱいに浮かべ、そして一息に麦を刈り取ると束を掲げて空に向かって叫んだのだった。

Lawrence alighted from the cart, and peering through (?) the crowd, just happened to see Yarei grabbing the last sheaf. His face, blackened with dirt and sweat, revealed a broad, wry grin. In a single effort, [ phrasing ] he raised the harvested sheaf and howled at the sky.

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「ホロだホロだホロだ!」

"It's Horo it's Horo it's Horo!"

「アオオオオオオオオオオオン」

"Auuooooooooooon"

「狼ホロが現れたぞ!狼ホロが現れたそ!」

"The wolf Horo has appeared! The wolf Horo has appeared!"

「それ捕｛つか｝まえろ、やれ捕まえろ！」

"Catch it, oh catch it!"

「逃がすな、追え！」

"After it, don't let it get away!"

　それまで口々に囃｛はや｝し立てていた男達が、唐突｛とうとつ｝に走り出したヤレイを追いかげていった。

With that, the men who had been calling out suddenly broke into a run and chased after Yarei.

　豊作の神は追い詰められ、人間に乗り移ってどこかに逃げようとする。それを捕｛と｝らえてまた一年、この畑にいてもらうのだ。

Able to run down the god of harvest, / if it were to possess a human, where could it run to? (!) It's been a year since the last catch, this field/giving (!)

　実際に神がいるのかどうかはわからない。ただ、ここの土地の者達はもう長い間それを続けている。

Who knows whether or not there's actually a deity present. However, the inhabitants of this land have carried on that belief for a long time.

=== Discussion ===

Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01

2008-02-18T21:24:21Z

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