Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 01

2007-04-03T02:30:04Z

Bored tenshi:

/0

"You brought an unusual letter of introduction."

I'm at a laboratory at a university. An old man, whose white lab coat suited him well, offers me a handshake with a reptile-like smile.

"Wow, supernatural powers? You're interested in such a thing?"

"No, I just want to know what kind of a thing it is."

"That's what you call interest. But who cares though. To use her card as a letter... that's just like her. She was an outstanding student of mine, so I'm concerned about her. This place is getting less people who can be used, so we don't have enough human resource. Yup, not enough is not good."

"Um, about the supernatural powers..."

"Oh yeah, supernatural powers... But there are many different kinds of powers. We don't measure them genuinely here, so I don't know if I could help you. In this occupation, this is an ominous subject, so there's only a few laboratories that study this subject in Japan. This thing is a blackbox, you know? So the real details don't get to me. Yeah, I heard it's getting practical, but I have to wonder. That thing is, you know, something you have to have when you are born..."

"I really don't care about the classification. I think it's PK anyways. What I want to know is how people end up with these powers."

"They're like channels. You watch TV?"

"Well, yeah... but what about it?"

"You can compare the human brain to channels. Which channel do you usually watch?"

"... Let's see, I guess it's channel 8."

"That's it. That should be the channel with the highest rating, right? Let's say there are 12 channels in a human brain. The brain of you and me are always on channel 8, the channel with the highest rating. There are other channels but we can't go there. The channel that everyone watches... should I say common sense? Channel 8 is the channel we have as we can live within that common sense. Do you understand?"

"... Um, so you're saying we're made to watch the safest programs?"

"No no. That's for the best. The common sense of the 20th century, the channel with the highest rating is channel 8. Since we can be there, that's the most peaceful channel, right? We live in that common sense and we are protected by that common sense... isn't it beautiful?"

"You're saying other channels are not peaceful?"

"I don't know. Let's say channel 3 is a channel that receives the words of plants instead of people. Let's say that on channel 4, the brain waves to make your body move actually moves something else. It's amazing to have these kinds of channels. There, the common sense airing on channel 8 doesn't exist. Since the most popular channel shows the common sense needed to live in this current world, other channels do not show such a thing. At the very least, the morals in channel 8 are not shown."

"So you mean not having channel 8 would make you mentally abnormal?"

"Yup. Say there's someone that only has channel 3. That person can talk to plants, but in turn, cannot talk to people. As a result, society treats that person as mentally disabled and locks them up in a hospital. That's what it means to have supernatural powers. It's people who have different channels compared to everyone else from the time they were born. But most people with supernatural powers have such channels as 4 and 8 at the same time and can switch between them. They're channels so you can switch between them when you want to, right? When you watch channel 4, you can't watch channel 8. When you watch channel 8, you can't watch channel 4. People with supernatural powers in society live by using both of them, the usual self and the abnormal self."

"I see. So that's why common sense is useless for the person who only has channel 4... because they don't have such a thing to begin with."

"That's right. Society calls these people maniacs or killers but we think of them as an "unfit existence". There are many people who are unfit for society, but these people are unfit right from their existence. They are people who shouldn't exist... no, they cannot exist. This is a "what-if" story, okay? If there was someone who had both channel 4 and 8 and something happened to that person to destroy its body causing that person to be permanently on channel 4, that person is done for. Even though that person had all the common sense, if they cannot be on the same channel as us, they cannot communicate with us... because they are on a different channel."

"Is there a way to make the unfit into a fit existence?"

"You can just stop their life. To put it more precisely, you have to destroy the abnormal channel. But to do so means to destroy their brain, so it comes down to killing them. There's no such thing as killing the channel without killing the body. If there is, that's what you would really call a supernatural power. That's around channel 12, I think? That channel can pretty much do anything."

The professor laughs like it is really funny.

"That was helpful. By the way, is spoon bending the most popular power in PK?"

"What? Spoons can bend?"

"I don't know about spoons but at least human arms."

"You mean arms of an adult? That's pretty amazing. "Distortion" depends on the objects size rather than its hardness. I would think it should take about seven days to bend something like the human arm. So, which way is it? Right? Left?"

"Does that matter?"

"Of course. It has something to do with the fulcrum. Even Earth has a direction of rotation, right? What, it's not constant? Hmm... does that power actually exist? Then you shouldn't have anything to do with this person. This person has more than two channels. That unfit existence probably can rotate things in both directions. I have never heard of a case of someone having two channels and is able to use them both at once. This is too powerful."

"Um... I don't have much time so I should get going. I have to get to Nagano by today... so thank you for all your help."

"It's all right. You can come as much as you want if it's her introduction. Oh, and by the way... is Aozaki-kun doing well?"

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 01

2007-03-21T18:51:47Z

Bored tenshi:

／1

I decide to take a walk tonight again. It's because it's pretty cool for being at the end of the summer and it feels like autumn is coming.

"Ojou-sama, please come home early tonight."

Akitaka, my servant, says so while I am putting on my shoes at the entrance. How uninteresting. Ignoring his monotonous voice, I go out the entrance.

Going past the garden, I walk through the gate. Once I exit the mansion, there is no streetlight outside. Only darkness surrounds me. A deep darkness without any sound. The date is about to change from August 31 to September 1. There is a light wind, and the bamboos around the mansion make a rustling sound. ... As if to frighten me. A walk in this kind of silence is the only thing I, Shiki, like to do.

As the night gets deeper, so does the darkness. I think I walk through the empty town because I want to be alone. Or is it because I want to think I'm alone? ... Either way, it's a stupid question. It's impossible for me to be alone in this world.

... Going off the main street, I walk into a small alley.

I will be turning sixteen this year. If you say it in school terms, I am a first year in an ordinary private high school. No matter where I go for school, I have to remain at the mansion in the future. Then my education has no meaning. I decided to go there since I thought it was more efficient to go to a nearby school and reduce my transportation time. But maybe that turned out to be a mistake.

... The alley is darker than the main street. Only one streetlight flickers nervously.

Someone's face suddenly pops into my mind and I clinch my teeth. I feel restless lately, even during one of these walks. It's because, out of nowhere, I remember ''that guy'' from time to time.

... Even in high school, my environment didn't change. No matter what grade they are in, people do not come near me. I don't exactly know why, but I think I show too much of how I think in my attitude. I don't like people. I could not like them since I was a child. I even dislike myself because, unfortunately, I am a human too. That's why I cannot be nice to people when they talk to me. ... It's not that I detest them, but that's what the people around me thought. The word spread across campus quickly and within a month, nobody tried to communicate with me. I like a quiet environment too, so I have won an ideal environment.

But the ideal was not perfect. There is one student in my class that treats me, Ryohgi Shiki, as a friend. That guy with a last name like a French poet was a nuisance to me. A real nuisance indeed.

... I saw a person under a streetlight far away.

'' ''---What a strange thing for me, I remembered that guy's smile.

... That person's behavior was suspicious.

'' ''---Thinking back to it later, why did I...

... I followed the person for some reason.

'' ''---Why did I feel such a surge of violent excitement?

◇

Deep in the back alley, it was another world. The dead end functioned more like a room than a road. This thin road surrounded by the walls of the buildings must be an area without sunlight even during the daytime. I expected to see a homeless guy living in this blind spot of town. But not anymore. On the surrounding walls are brand new paint. This small alley is filled with something wet. The rotten smell of trash you usually smell in here is contaminated by an even stronger smell.

The sea of blood is around me. What appeared to be red paint is actually human blood. The blood is still flowing and filling up the alley. The smell is from this red liquid. In middle of it all is a human corpse. I can't see its expression. It seems his arms and legs were cut off and he looks more like a sprinkler showering out blood.

This place is not normal. Even the black of the night is covered with the redness of the blood.

'' ''---------In it all, Shiki is smiling. The sleeves of the light blue kimono are red. Kneeling down and touching the blood flowing on the ground, Shiki streaks it across her lips. The blood drips down her lips and her body shakes from rapture. That is the first lipstick Shiki has ever put on.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 05

2007-03-21T04:08:24Z

Bored tenshi:

／4

I wake up after having a knife stabbed through my chest. The impact was tremendous. That person must have been really strong to pierce someone's chest that easily. But that was not a violent power. It did not have anything unnecessary, and it went in between the bones and the muscles like it was nothing. What a sense of unity!

The feeling of death that runs through my body. I hear the sound of my heart being pierced and ripped. The "feeling" of it hurt me more than the pain itself. Because that feeling was fear and pleasure incomparable to anything else.

The chill running through my spine is mind-boggling, and my whole body is trembling. There exists uneasiness, loneliness, and the will to live, and I cried without a sound.

Not because of fear or pain.

It's because this unfamiliar feeling of death was there... even for me, who every night wishes to be alive the next day.

I will never be able to escape this feeling

Since I have fallen in love with this feeling...

----

I hear the door open. The clock points two and it feels like the sun is shining through the closed window. It's not yet time for the examination, so maybe it's a visitor.

I have my own hospital room and there is no one else in here. What's here is the bright sunlight, curtains that never flutter in the wind, and this bed.

"Excuse me, Are you Fujoh Kirie?"

It seems the visitor is a woman. Greeting me with a husky voice, she comes near me without sitting down or anything. It seems she's looking down at me. Her stare feels cold.

... This person is a scary person. She would probably bring me destruction.

But I was actually happy inside. Because it's been many years since I've had a visitor. I cannot send anyone back, even if the one who came visiting was death himself to finish me off.

"You are my enemy, right?"

The woman nods.

I try to focus and somehow see this visitor.

... It may be because of the strong sunlight, but I can only see her silhouette. She is not wearing a jacket, but her wrinkleless suit makes her look like a teacher and makes me relax. But her orange tie is rather flashy for her white shirt, I have to take some points off for that.

"Do you know that person, or are you that person?"

"No, I'm an acquaintance of both the one who attacked you and the one you attacked. We, you included, made contact with the weirdest people. We must be pretty unlucky."

Saying that, the woman takes out something from her pocket and puts it right back.

"I forgot you can't smoke in here. In addition, it seems your lungs are bad. The smoke would do you nothing but harm."

She sounds regretful. I guess it was a cigarette box she took out. I've never even touched one before, but I wanted to see this person smoke. Probably... no, surely it would suit her well like a lizard pant on a showcase mannequin.

"It's not just your lungs that are bad? That must be the reason, but there are lots of tumors all over your body. Starting with sarcoma, it's worse inside. It seems that hair of yours is the only thing normal. But it's amazing how much strength you have left. A normal person would have died before it got this bad. ... How many years has it been, Fujoh Kirie?"

She is probably asking about my hospitalization, but I cannot answer her.

"I don't know. I stopped keeping track."

Because it's meaningless. Because I won't be getting out of here until I die.

The woman nods and says, "I see."

I don't like her tone, as it contains no sympathy or dislike. The only thing I get from people is sympathy, but this person is not willing to give me even that.

"Is the place Shiki cut all right? I heard Shiki cut you around the heart area, near the main artery... I would assume it was in your bicuspid valve."

She says an amazing thing with a normal tone. I let out a smile from her weirdness.

"What a strange person. I wouldn't be able to talk to you like this if my heart was cut."

"Of course. That was just for confirmation."

I see. With that question she confirmed if I was the woman stabbed by that person who I couldn't tell as Japanese-styled or Western-styled.

"But the effect will come in time, Shiki's eyes are strong. Even if that thing was your double existence, the destruction will reach you in time. I wanted to ask you a few things before that... which is why I came here."

Double existence... she must mean that other me.

"I haven't seen you actually floating. Can you tell me what that was?"

"I don't know either. The only view I can see is this view out of this window.

But maybe that was bad.

I've been looking down at the world from here. The trees showing the colors of the four seasons, people coming to the hospital in turns.

They cannot hear me even if I talk, and I cannot reach them no matter how far I stretch out my hands. I have been suffering all this time inside this room. I have been detesting this view for a long time. Isn't that what you would call cursing?"

"I see, it must be your Fujoh blood. Your bloodline is that of an old pure family. It seems they were specialized in prayers, but I see that their true powers were in curses. The name Fujoh might come from the word Fujoh (impure)."

Bloodline.

My family. But that came to an end a few years ago. Soon after I was hospitalized, my parents and my brother died in an accident. Since then, a friend of my father paid for my medical expenses.

"A curse is not something you do unconsciously. What did you wish for?"

... I don't know myself. Even she wouldn't know.

"... Have you ever longed for the outside world for a long time? For so many years that you lose touch with reality? I hated, detested, and feared the outside world. I was overlooking it all the time. After a while, my eyes became weird. I was in the sky above that garden, and was overlooking the world below. It was a feeling like my eyes were flying around while my body and mind were still here. But since I can't move from here, all I can do is to overlook the area around here.

"You must have inputted the surrounding scenery into your mind. If that's the case, you should be able to think that you can see it from all directions. ...You started to lose your vision around that time too?"

I'm surprised. She knows I'm on the verge of losing my vision.

I nod.

"That's right. The world turned white and in the end, nothing was there. At first, I thought everything turned into darkness, but that was wrong.

Everything disappeared, or at least everything that can be seen.

But I had no problem with that. Because my eyes are already flying around. I can only see the scenery around this hospital, and I can't get out of here anyway.

"Nothing changed, nothing..."

Then, I cough. It's been a long time since I've talked this much, so my throat is burning.

"I see. So your mind was up in the sky. But then... why are you alive? If that ghost at the Fujiyoh building was your mind, you should have been killed by Shiki."

Yes, I am wondering the same thing.

That person... I guess the name is Shiki, but how was that person able to cut me?

That floating me cannot touch anything, but in return, I cannot be touched by anything. But that person killed me as if I had a real body.

"Answer me. The you at the Fujiyoh building, was that really Fujoh Kirie?"

"The me at the Fujiyoh building isn't me. Myself looking at the sky and myself in the sky, "that me" gave up on me and flew away. I have been left behind even by me myself."

The woman gasps. For the first time, she showed her emotion.

"So it's not that your personality split up. There was someone that gave you, who had one container, a second container. I see, you controlled two bodies with one mind. This is indeed nothing like before."

Now that she says so, that might have been the case.

I gave up on myself and was looking down on the world. But neither one of us could put our feet on the ground, and just ended up floating around. Since I am rejected by the world outside this window, there is no way for me to go out there no matter how much I wish for it.

It must mean that we were connected in the end.

"That makes sense. But why weren't you happy with just imagining the outside world? I don't think there was a need to let those girls fall."

Those girls...? Oh, I see, the girls I was jealous of. They were unfortunate. But I did not do anything, because the girls fell on their own.

"The you at the Fujiyoh building was more like a will. You used that, huh? Those girls were able to fly from the beginning, right? Even if it was just an image in their head, or if they really had the power to fly. People flying in their sleep isn't rare, but it never gets to be a problem. Why? Because they only do so in their sleep and they never even think about flying when they are awake. Since they are unconscious, they have no evil will when they are flying.

Those girls were special even in that case. We're not talking Peter Pan, but it's easier to fly when you're small. Maybe one or two might have actually floated, but most of them should have floated only in their dreams.

But you made them think about it. You gave them the impression they had while they were dreaming when they were awake.

As a result, they found out they could fly. Yes, they can fly... but only unconsciously. Flight with only human power is difficult. Even I cannot fly without a broom. The chance of flight under consciousness is about thirty percent. The girls tried to fly as usual, and fell as they were supposed to."

Yes, they were flying around me. I thought they could be my friends. But all they did was float around me like fishes without noticing me.

It was fast after I found out they had no consciousness. I just thought they would notice me if they had consciousness. That was the only reason, so why...

"Are you cold? You're trembling."

The woman's voice is cold like plastic.

I embrace myself as the chill does not go away.

"Let me ask you one more thing. Why did you admire the sky? You detested the outside world."

That's probably because...

"There is no end to the sky. I thought there would be a world I wouldn't detest if I could go as far as I want, if I could fly as far as I wanted."

The voice asks me if I found that world.

My chill does not stop. I tremble as if someone's shaking me, and my eyes are getting hotter.

I nod.

"... Every night, I feared I wouldn't be able to wake up the next day, I was scared I wouldn't live until tomorrow. I knew I wouldn't have the strength to wake up if I fell asleep.

The days like a tightrope were only filled with fear of death. But because of that, I could feel that I was alive.

I could only smell death everyday, but to live, only that smell was reliable.

Since I am nothing but a discarded shell, I can only feel alive when I am facing death."

That's right. That is why I like death more than life.

To fly anywhere, to go to anywhere I want...

"You took my boy as a companion to death?"

"No. At that time, I didn't know. I was attached to life and I wanted to fly while being alive. I should have been able to do so with him."

"You and Shiki are similar. You guys have a bit of salvation in that you guys both chose Kokutoh. It's not a bad thing to search for the feeling of being alive in someone else."

Kokutoh. I see, so that Shiki person came to take him back.

I guess my savior was also my death. I have no regret in that though.

"That person is really childish. He is always so straight. That's why he should be able to fly to anywhere he wants if he tried.

... I wanted for him to take me."

My eyes are hot. I don't get it, but I'm probably crying.

Not because I'm sad... If I could really go somewhere with him, how much happiness would that have been? it's something that wouldn't come true, because it's a dream that shouldn't come true, that's why it's so beautiful that it makes me cry. That is the only dream I've had in the past few years.

"But Kokutoh has no interest in the sky. The more one wants the sky, the farther they are from it, huh? How ironic."

"You're right. I have heard that humans have many things they don't need. I was only able to float. I could not fly, and all I managed was to stay floating."

The burning in my eyes disappeared. Probably, this will never again happen in the future.

What's controlling me right now is only this chill inside of me.

"Sorry to be a bother. This is the last question, but what will you do now? I can heal that wound Shiki gave you."

Without answering, I shake my head. It seems the woman frowned a bit.

"I see...

There are two ways to escape. Escape without purpose, and escape with a purpose. You call the former floating and the latter flight,

You are the one to decide which one your overlooking view was. But if you choose one out of guilt, that's wrong. You shouldn't choose the path ahead of you based on the sins you carry, but rather, you should carry the sins on the path you choose."

Then the woman leaves. The woman has not told me her name, but I know there was no need to.

... She must have known what I would choose from the beginning. Because I could not fly, and all I could do was to float.

Since I'm weak, I cannot do as she said. That's why I cannot overcome this temptation. The flash of light I felt when I was stabbed in my heart. The overwhelming torrent of death and the beat of life. I always thought I had nothing, but there is still that simple thing left in me.

What's there is death.

This fear that sends a chill down my spine. I have to feel the most death I can to feel the happiness of life. For everything in my life I have ignored until now. But it probably would be impossible to die like I did that night. I probably cannot hope for such a striking end. That death pierced me like a lightning, like a needle, like a sword. That's why I will try to come as close to that as possible. I don't have any idea right now but I still have a few days to think about it. And I've already decided on the method. I don't think I even need to say this, but I think my end should be a long fall from a place overlooking the earth.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 01

2007-03-18T01:07:37Z

Bored tenshi:

／1

On a night at the beginning of August, Mikiya came by without any notice.

"Good evening. You look lazy as always, Shiki"

The sudden visitor stood by the door as he gives a boring greeting with a smile.

"I just saw an accident on my way here. A girl jumped from the top of a building, a suicide. I heard it's happening a lot quite recently but I never thought I'd see one myself. Here, put this in the fridge."

He throws me a plastic bag of a convenience store as he unties his shoes by the door. Inside are two strawberry [http://www.haagen-dazs.com Häagen-Dazs]. I guess he means I should put them in the fridge before they melt.

While I was slowly checking out what's inside the bag, Mikiya has taken off his shoes and has already come inside.

My house is a room in a mansion. If you go past the hallway, which isn't even a meter long, you get to the room where it's both my bedroom and my living room. I glare as i follow Mikiya, who is quickly making his way to my room.

"Shiki. You skipped school again today, right? I don't care about your grades, but you won't be able to pass unless you attend at least the required days. Did you forget about our promise to go to college together?"

"Do you have the right to order me around about my school? First of all, I don't remember that kind of promise, and you've already dropped out of college."

I glare at Mikiya while I say so. He looks downcast while trying to come up with words.

"... Uh, if you say rights, there aren't any rights for anybody, but..."

Sounding sophisticated, Mikiya sits down.

He tends to let out his true feelings when he's on the defense... it's something I remembered just recently.

Mikiya sat down in the middle of the room. As I sat down on the bed behind him, I laid my body across it. Mikiya still has his back turned to me. I thoughtlessly look at Mikiya's back, which is a bit small for a guy's.

This man named Kokutoh Mikiya seems to be my friend from back in high school.

In the fast age full of youngsters where many things get famous and then go away quickly, Mikiya was a rare kind of person that kept the image of a student.

He doesn't dye his hair or let it grow long. He doesn't get a tan or wear accessories. He doesn't carry a cell phone or play around with women. He is around 170cm or so. His kind-looking face is more on the cuter side and his huge black glasses make that feature stand out even more.

Even though he is dressed normally and he is out of school, he might look good enough to catch a few people's eyes if he actually dressed himself up.

"Shiki, are you listening? I saw your mother too. You should go visit the Ryohgi House at least once. I heard that you haven't even contacted them since you got out of the hospital two months ago."

"... I don't care. It can't be helped cause I can't really take in the fact. We'll just feel more distant even if we see each other. I still feel weird talking to you, so there'll be no way I'll be able to keep up a conversation with those strangers."

"Geez, things won't get any better if you keep acting like that. You'll be like this forever if you don't open up your heart to them. It's not right for a family to live so close together and yet never talk to each other."

I frown at those words.

He says "not right", but what exactly is "not right"? There's nothing illegal in what's happening between me and my parents. It's just that the child has gotten in an accident and lost all memories. We are proven to be a family under the law and by papers, so I'd assume there's nothing wrong in between us.

... Mikiya always worries about how other people feel. Although I think that is just pointless...

***

Ryohgi Shiki has been my friend since high school.

Our school was a famous private high school which taught a lot of students who went to a good college.

When I went to see if I got in the school or not, the name Ryohgi Shiki stood out so much that it stuck in my head and we ended up being in the same class. Since then, I became one of the few friends Shiki had.

Our school did not have uniforms so everyone expressed themselves by how they dressed. Within these people, Shiki stood out.

... Because Shiki would always be wearing a kimono.

It's simple form fit Shiki's shoulders and it made the classroom feel like a old-style house just by having Shiki walk through it. Some of the students had a rocker-style outfit, but in front of Shiki, such an outfit had less value to it than the first edition of the magazine "STYLE". I think just this explains what kind of a person Shiki is.

Shiki's face was also too perfect.

The hair is beautiful like silk, and it is cut with scissors lazily and kept like that. But it becomes a perfect short hair that is long enough to hide Shiki's ear, which suits Shiki so much that many people mistaken her sex. Shiki looks so handsome that when a man looks, he sees a woman, and when a woman looks, she sees a man. Shiki looks more valiant than beautiful.

But much more than Shiki's looks, what captivated me the most were Shiki's eyes. They were sharp yet delicate with thin brows. It felt like Shiki was seeing what we were unable to see with those eyes, and that is everything Shiki meant to me.

Yes.

Until Shiki ended up like that...

***

"Suicide by jumping off something. Would that be considered an accident, Mikiya?"

Mikiya gets himself together after that meaningless rant and seriously starts thinking about the question.

"Hmmm, I'm sure it's an accident... but you're right. I wonder what that is. Since it's a suicide, the person is dead. But as long as it is that person's will to do so, the blame is only on that person. But since falling from a high place is an accident..."

"It's not a murder or an accidental death? That's ambiguous. They should have picked a way so they won't trouble others if they were going to kill themselves."

It seems my words angered Mikiya a bit as he takes a glance behind him, towards me.

"Shiki, it's not nice to talk badly about dead people."

His voice is not to scold me, but it is said in a plain tone. I saw that response coming a mile away.

"Kokuto, I hate your common sense talk."

Naturally, my response gets a bit harsh. But it doesn't seem like he cares at all.

"Wow, its been a long time since you called me that."

"Really?"

Mikiya nods.

I call him two things: Kokuto and Mikiya. I didn't like the sound of "Kokuto"... although I don't exactly know why.

In the small silence that formed during my pondering, Mikiya clapped his hand as if he remembered something.

"Oh, speaking of rare things, my sister Azaka saw it."

Not understanding what he's talking about, I make a frowning face.

"That thing. The girl at the Fujiyoh building, the one they say is flying around. You said you saw it once too."

Oh, I remember now.

From around three weeks ago, in the sky above an expensive mansion in the office district, a human-like form could be seen. The fact that Azaka saw it too must mean it really does exist.

After I was in a coma for two years after that accident, I was able to see things that were "not supposed to be there". As Touko would put it, I am not seeing them, but rather observing them. In other words, it seems that I am able to perceive at a higher level with my eyes and brain, but I don't care about all the explanations.

"The thing at the Fujiyou building, I saw that thing a few times. But I haven't been around there for a while, so I don't know if it's still there."

"I see. I go by there a lot but I never saw it."

"You can't see it cause you're wearing glasses."

"I don't think glasses matter," frowns Mikiya.

His reaction was so warm and pure. That's probably why it's harder for him to see those kinds of things.

But boring incidents keep on happening like people falling and flying. I don't understand the meaning behind all that, so I question out loud.

"Mikiya, do you know why people fly?"

Mikiya shrugs at my unexpected question and answers in a normal tone.

"I don't know why they fly or fall, because I've never done such things before."

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 01

2007-03-12T03:28:49Z

Bored tenshi:

／1

On a night at the beginning of August, Mikiya came by without any notice.

"Good evening. You look lazy as always, Shiki"

The sudden visitor stood by the door as he gives a boring greeting with a smile.

"I just saw an accident on my way here. A girl jumped from the top of a building, a suicide. I heard it's happening a lot quite recently but I never thought I'd see one myself. Here, put this in the fridge."

He throws me a plastic bag of a convenience store as he unties his shoes by the door. Inside are two strawberry [http://www.haagen-dazs.com Häagen-Dazs]. I guess he means I should put them in the fridge before they melt.

While I was slowly checking out what's inside the bag, Mikiya has taken off his shoes and has already come inside.

My house is a room in a mansion. If you go past the hallway, which isn't even a meter long, you get to the room where it's both my bedroom and my living room. I glare as i follow Mikiya, who is quickly making his way to my room.

"Shiki. You skipped school again today, right? I don't care about your grades, but you won't be able to pass unless you attend at least the required days. Did you forget about our promise to go to college together?"

"Do you have the right to order me around about my school? First of all, I don't remember that kind of promise, and you've already dropped out of college."

I glare at Mikiya while I say so. He looks downcast while trying to come up with words.

"... Uh, if you say rights, there aren't any rights for anybody, but..."

Sounding sophisticated, Mikiya sits down.

He tends to let out his true feelings when he's on the defense... it's something I remembered just recently.

Mikiya sat down in the middle of the room. As I sat down on the bed behind him, I laid my body across it. Mikiya still has his back turned to me. I thoughtlessly look at Mikiya's back, which is a bit small for a guy's.

This man named Kokutoh Mikiya seems to be my friend from back in high school.

In the fast age full of youngsters where many things get famous and and then go away quickly, Mikiya was a rare kind of person that kept the image of a student.

He doesn't dye his hair or let it grow long. He doesn't get a tan or wear accessories. He doesn't carry a cell phone or play around with women. He is around 170cm or so. His kind-looking face is more on the cuter side and his huge black glasses make that feature stand out even more.

Even though he is dressed normally and he is out of school, he might look good enough to catch a few people's eyes if he actually dressed himself up.

"Shiki, are you listening? I saw your mother too. You should go visit the Ryohgi House at least once. I heard that you haven't even contacted them since you got out of the hospital two months ago."

"... I don't care. It can't be helped cause I can't really take in the fact. We'll just feel more distant even if we see each other. I still feel weird talking to you, so there'll be no way I'll be able to keep up a conversation with those strangers."

"Geez, things won't get any better if you keep acting like that. You'll be like this forever if you don't open up your heart to them. It's not right for a family to live so close together and yet never talk to each other."

I frown at those words.

He says "not right", but what exactly is "not right"? There's nothing illegal in what's happening between me and my parents. It's just that the child has gotten in an accident and lost all memories. We are proven to be a family under the law and by papers, so I'd assume there's nothing wrong in between us.

... Mikiya always worries about how other people feel. Although I think that is just pointless...

***

Ryohgi Shiki has been my friend since high school.

Our school was a famous private high school which taught a lot of students who went to a good college.

When I went to see if I got in the school or not, the name Ryohgi Shiki stood out so much that it stuck in my head and we ended up being in the same class. Since then, I became one of the few friends Shiki had.

Our school did not have uniforms so everyone expressed themselves by how they dressed. Within these people, Shiki stood out.

... Because Shiki would always be wearing a kimono.

It's simple form fit Shiki's shoulders and it made the classroom feel like a old-style house just by having Shiki walk through it. Some of the students had a rocker-style outfit, but in front of Shiki, such an outfit had less value to it than the first edition of the magazine "STYLE". I think just this explains what kind of a person Shiki is.

Shiki's face was also too perfect.

The hair is beautiful like silk, and it is cut with scissors lazily and kept like that. But it becomes a perfect short hair that is long enough to hide Shiki's ear, which suits Shiki so much that many people mistaken her sex. Shiki looks so handsome that when a man looks, he sees a woman, and when a woman looks, she sees a man. Shiki looks more valiant than beautiful.

But much more than Shiki's looks, what captivated me the most were Shiki's eyes. They were sharp yet delicate with thin brows. It felt like Shiki was seeing what we were unable to see with those eyes, and that is what everything Shiki meant to me.

Yes.

Until Shiki ended up like that...

***

"Suicide by jumping off something. Would that be considered an accident, Mikiya?"

Mikiya gets himself together after that meaningless rant and seriously starts thinking about the question.

"Hmmm, I'm sure it's an accident... but you're right. I wonder what that is. Since it's a suicide, the person is dead. But as long as it is that person's will to do so, the blame is only on that person. But since falling from a high place is an accident..."

"It's not a murder or an accidental death? That's ambiguous. They should have picked a way so they won't trouble others if they were going to kill themselves."

It seems my words angered Mikiya a bit as he takes a glance behind him, towards me.

"Shiki, it's not nice to talk badly about dead people."

His voice is not to scold me, but it is said in a plain tone. I saw that response coming a mile away.

"Kokuto, I hate your common sense talk."

Naturally, my response gets a bit harsh. But it doesn't seem like he cares at all.

"Wow, its been a long time since you called me that."

"Really?"

Mikiya nods.

I call him two things: Kokuto and Mikiya. I didn't like the sound of "Kokuto"... although I don't exactly know why.

In the small silence that formed during my pondering, Mikiya clapped his hand as if he remembered something.

"Oh, speaking of rare things, my sister Azaka saw it."

Not understanding what he's talking about, I make a frowning face.

"That thing. The girl at the Fujiyoh building, the one they say is flying around. You said you saw it once too."

Oh, I remember now.

From around three weeks ago, in the sky above an expensive mansion in the office district, a human-like form could be seen. The fact that Azaka saw it too must mean it really does exist.

After I was in a coma for two years after that accident, I was able to see things that were "not supposed to be there". As Touko would put it, I am not seeing them, but rather observing them. In other words, it seems that I am able to perceive at a higher level with my eyes and brain, but I don't care about all the explanations.

"The thing at the Fujiyou building, I saw that thing a few times. But I haven't been around there for a while, so I don't know if it's still there."

"I see. I go by there a lot but I never saw it."

"You can't see it cause you're wearing glasses."

"I don't think glasses matter," frowns Mikiya.

His reaction was so warm and pure. That's probably why it's harder for him to see those kinds of things.

But boring incidents keep on happening like people falling and flying. I don't understand the meaning behind all that, so I question out loud.

"Mikiya, do you know why people fly?"

Mikiya shrugs at my unexpected question and answers in a normal tone.

"I don't know why they fly or fall, because I've never done such things before."

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 00

2007-03-12T02:54:34Z

Bored tenshi:

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 12

2007-03-02T04:56:54Z

Bored tenshi:

6

Broad Bridge is distorted like it has been squeezed by a giant hand. After coming here in the storm with Tohko-san's buggy and arguing with the guard, Shiki shows up from under the bridge with a blood-soaked arm. The guard runs to Shiki but Shiki tackles him and knocks him unconscious.

"Yo. For some reason, I thought you would be here."

Shiki says this with a pale face. There were so many things I wanted to say but it all disappears once I see how weak she is. I run to her to help her, but Shiki refuses and would not even let me support her.

"So you managed with just one arm, huh, Shiki?"

Tohko-san seems surprised. Shiki glares in discontent.

"Tohko, She came up with Clairvoyance in the end. She'll have a ridiculous power if you leave her be."

"Clairvoyance, huh? Certainly, if you add that to her power, she'll be invincible. She would be able to make a fulcrum even if you are hiding... Huh? If you leave her be...?"

"She returned to pain insensitivity at the very end. That's cheating. Asagami Fujino in that state can't be my target. I couldn't do anything else so I just killed the disease in her stomach. She might make it if you hurry."

Shiki did not kill Asagami Fujino. Understanding that, I quickly call the hospital. I'm not sure if they would be willing to come in this storm, but if they won't, I'll just take her myself. Fortunately, her doctor agrees to come. The doctor was worried when Fujino disappeared, and it seemed he was crying over the phone. There may not be many, but Fujino still has people on her side. I am moved. Behind me, those two are having a dangerous conversation.

"Did you stop the bleeding on that arm? It's not bleeding it seems."

"Yeah, I killed it cause it was useless. You can make an arm, right? You're a puppet master after all."

"All right. That will be your pay for this job. I always thought that your body was too normal in contrast to you eyes. I can make that left arm able to grab spirits and such."

... I don't want them talking about such things.

"An ambulance is going to come here. It'll be lots of trouble to stay here, so do you want to get away?"

Tohko-san nods but Shiki is silent. ... She probably wants to make sure that Asagami Fujino does get taken away safely.

"Since I contacted them, I'll stay here. I'll tell you what happened, so you can go back."

"In this strong rain? You sure are strange. All right, let's go back, Shiki."

Shiki refuses Tohko-san's offer. Tohko-san makes a mean smile and gets in her off-road buggy, which seems totally illegal.

"Shiki. Don't kill Kokutoh just because you couldn't kill Asagami Fujino."

Tohko-san says so seriously and drives off. In the summer rain, Shiki and I end up finding shelter under the nearby warehouse.

---

The ambulance comes in no time and carries off Asagami Fujino. In this storm, I cannot see her face. I cannot make sure that she's the girl from that one night, but I think that's for the best. Shiki blankly stares into the night. Shiki stands there wet in the rain. She was glaring at Fujino all this time. I ask her heart within the sound of rain.

"Shiki, you still can't forgive Asagami Fujino?"

"...... I don't care about the one I already killed."

Shiki declares so. There's no hate or anything there. For Shiki, Fujino must be someone she does not know now. ... It's sad but that might be the best for these two. Shiki casts a glance at me.

"How about you? You say murder is wrong no matter what the reason is."

She seems like she's asking herself the question.

"... Yeah, but I sympathize her. To be honest, I could care less about Fujino killing the guys who violated her."

"That's unexpected. I was hoping for your popular opinion."

... Do you want to be blamed, Shiki? But you didn't kill anyone. I close my eyes and listen to the rain.

"Really? But that is my opinion. Because, Shiki, even though she lost herself, Asagami Fujino is a normal girl. She will take in what she's done without changing the facts to suit her. Even if she does give herself up to the police, no one can prove what she's done and she won't be socially responsible for her sins. That's what makes it more difficult."

"Why?"

"...... I think sins are things people willingly burden themselves with. A burden that one casts on themselves according to their views, that is what a sin is. The more compassion you have, the heavier a burden your sin becomes. The more common sense you have, the heavier a burden your sin becomes. Asagami Fujino's sins become heavier and more painful as she gets happier."

Shiki tells me I'm too good-natured.

"Then does that means those without compassion have no sense of what sin is?"

"I don't think anyone exists without a sense of sin. It just means that their sins are light, but it is still there. A small sin within their small compassion. For us it might seem trivial like tripping on a road; but for that person, it becomes a burden. Even the small pain for us becomes an unpleasant feeling for those with small compassion. No matter the weight, the meaning of a sin is the same."

... Yes. For example, Minato Keita was probably frightened to the point of insanity because of his realization of his sins. He cannot atone for his regret, sense of guilt, fear, or impatience; but all he can do is ''try'' to atone for them.

"Certainly, it must be easier to not be responsible for your sins socially. But if no one punishes you for your sins, you have to carry your sins yourself. A guilty conscience is not something that goes away, right? You have memories of it. Since no one forgave you for it, you cannot forgive it yourself. The wound in your heart never heals and it will continue hurting. Like her sense of pain remaining, the wound would never heal. As you say, hearts do not have shape...... so I think a wound on it cannot be treated."

Shiki is listening silently. Maybe because I looked up Fujino's past, I'm unusually poetic. Shiki suddenly gets out of the cover of the warehouse and goes out into the rain.

"So you're saying this. The more common sense you have, the more sense of sin you have. That's why there's no bad people in this world. But I have no such thing. Can you let such a person run freely??"

Now that she says so, that is indeed true. Before you can call Shiki good or bad, she has a small sense of common sense.

"I see. Then I guess it can't be helped. I'll have to burden all your sins then."

Those are my true feelings. It seems to have caught Shiki off guard, as she stands there dumbfounded. After getting hit by the rain for a while, Shiki murmurs uncomfortably.

"... I finally remember... You say those kinds of jokes with a straight face. To be honest, Shiki found it hard to deal with such things."

"...... *Sigh* I see. I do think I can at least carry one girl on me, you know."

I argue timidly, and Shiki laughs.

"I'll confess one more thing, I think I burdened a sin with this thing today. But I found out something in return. What my life is, and what I want. It's vague and fragile, but I will have to follow it for now. It turns out that what I'm following isn't as ugly as I thought it was. I'm a bit happy. A bit... A killing impulse that is slightly leaning towards your view..."

... I can only frown at her last sentence, but Shiki is beautiful as she smiles saying so in the rain. The storm should go away by the morning. I keep staring at Shiki, who is in the summer rain. Come to think of it, that is the first true smile she's ever showed me since she recovered from the coma...

Remaining Sense of Pain
Fin

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 11

2007-03-01T05:16:12Z

Bored tenshi:

5

While the storm is hitting town, I return to the office. When I enter the office wet with rain, Tohko-san greets me by dropping her cigarette.

"You're fast. It's only been a day."

"I heard a storm was coming so I came back before the transportation stopped."

Tohko-san nods while making a difficult face. I wonder if something is wrong... No, right now......

"Tohko-san, about Asagami Fujino. She was not born with her pain insensitivity. She was normal until she was six years old."

"What? That can't be true. Look, even though she has pain insensitivity, it's not affecting her physical activities. If you say her pain insensitivity came after she was born, hollow spine would be the case. But that causes problem with physical activities. A rare case where she only lacks the sense of pain can only mean that she was born with it."

"Yes, that's what her personal doctor said too."

I want to tell her what happened in Nagano from the beginning but there's no time. I tell her about the Asagami family... no, the AsaGAMI family in a short summary.

"The AsaGAMI family was a respected family, but it went bankrupt when Fujino was around twelve years old. Fujino and her mother went to what is now the Asagami family. It seems the Asagami family is branched off from the AsaGAMI family, and they took care of the borrowed money out of greed for their land. Fujino had her sense of pain when she was small; but with it, she also had a strange power. They say she could bend things without touching them."

"... And?"

"She was hated as the devil. She received oppression too. But from the time Fujino turned six, the power has disappeared, along with her sense of pain."

"........."

Tohko-san's expression changes. I can tell she's getting excited from her smile.

"After that she gets a personal doctor, but there is no record of that at the AsaGAMI house. It's because that place is empty now."

"That's all! You didn't investigate further!?"

"Of course I did. I found the personal doctor and talked to him."

"...... You're working smart, Kokutoh."

"Yes, I followed the record and went to Akita. He is an underground doctor without a license, so it took me a whole day to get the story out of him."

"... I'm amazed. If you get fired from here you should become a detective I'll even make you my personal detective."

I reply that I'll think about it, and continue on with my story.

"It seems this doctor only provided medicine. He said he doesn't know why Fujino became pain insensitive. He said that it was her father's doing alone."

"Her father did it himself? Do you mean the curing or giving her medicine?"

I nod to the small difference between the two.

"Giving her the medicine of course. According to the doctor, Fujino's father had no intention of curing Fujino's pain insensitivity. Most of the medicine that the doctor provided was Aspirin and Indometacin, steroids. According to the examination by the doctor, he says Fujino probably has Neuromyelitis Optica."

"Neuromyelitis optica...... Devic's disease, huh?"

Devic's disease. It is a type of myelitis and is a disease that causes numbness of the senses. Common symptoms are numbness in the lower legs and eyesight going bad. It even has the danger of making one blind. This disease requires early treatment with steroids. The steroids are what Tohko-san mentioned before... what they call adrenocorticosteroid.

"In addition, they use Indometacin which numbs the sense of pain. I see. That would indeed make her like that. She's not inherent or posteriori. Asagami Fujino lost her senses artificially. It's the exact opposite of Shiki!"

Tohko-san starts to laugh. It's a bit scary, she is like the professor I saw yesterday.

"Tohko-san, what is this Indometacin?"

"It's a pain-killer. It doesn't matter if it's peripheral or referred pain, pain occurs from reaction to "outside force that might endanger life". An algesic substance is made inside your body which stimulates the nerves relating to pain. This signals the pain to your brain. It tells the brain that the body will die if it doesn't do something. You know what algesic substances are, right? There are things such as Kinin and Amin, as well as Arachidonic Acid metabolites which strengthen the two. Such things as Aspirin and Indometacin control the Prostaglandin which is in this Arachidon. The pain from Kinin and Amin isn't much, so taking in a lot of Indometacin would take away most of the pain."

Tohko-san seems really happy as she is relatively high.

To be honest, this Arachidon and Kinindon thing seems like monster names to me.

"So it's a medicine to erase pain?"

"Not directly. If you want to erase the pain, a drug called opioid would do much better. There's the endorphin thing, right? It's that thing that the brain secretes to ease the pain. It works like that and opioid kills the pain in the central nervous system. ...... Well, I guess all this has nothing to do with the subject. I see. Asagami Fujino's father decided to seal her power by sealing her senses. A family totally opposite of that of Ryohgi, who tries so hard to make ones with power. But what's sad is her power became stronger by doing that. Magi from in and around Egypt stitch their eyes shut to keep their Mana within them. What's the difference between them and Asagami Fujino?"

... I was prepared for Tohko-san's words, but I'm still shocked. I knew already that Asagami family has children that have special powers like that of Asagami Fujino... ones born with different channels. They despised those children and tried to seal their power by any means possible. The result of that is... pain insensitivity. To close off the channel of special powers, they also closed the function of senses. That is why Asagami Fujino operates her power when her pain returns... because her sealed senses return.

"That's terrible. The only way for her to stay normal is to be abnormal."

That's right. Asagami Fujino could be in our world only by being abnormal in the form of pain insensitivity. But as long as she cannot feel anything, she cannot earn anything. She is only a ghost allowed to live in our world.

"If she did not feel pain, she would have not killed anyone."

"Hey now, don't treat pain like it's a bad thing. Pain is a good thing. The bad thing is the wound, you shouldn't get this wrong. We need pain, no matter how painful it is. People can recognize danger because we have pain. Do we get away from fire simply because it lights our hand on fire? No. It is because our hand is burning, and it hurts. If that's not the case, we won't know the danger of fire until our hand burns off. It is right for pain to be painful, Kokutoh. Anything that doesn't have that cannot understand other people's pain. Asagami Fujino was hit in the back and got her sense of pain back temporary. She defended herself for the first time from the pain she received after that. Those people that she didn't notice as danger before, she was able to recognize as dangerous because of pain. ... Still, killing them was too much."

... But Fujino does not feel pain. Those people died because of her defending herself, but they are partly responsible as they attacked her. You cannot make her hold all responsibility.

"Tohko-san, can she be cured?"

"There is no wound that cannot be cured. A wound that cannot be cured should be called death."

Tohko-san indirectly calls Asagami Fujino's wound death. But the cause of these incidents are the stabbed wound in her stomach. If that pain comes back, if the cause of that pain is known......

"Kokutoh, her wound cannot be cured. It will only continue to hurt."

"Huh?"

"She has no wound to begin with, Kokutoh."

...... Tohko-san says something unexpected.

"Um... what do you mean by that?"

"Think about it. If you get stabbed in the stomach, would the wound heal by itself? In a day or two?"

... That... is true but...

I get confused at the point Tohko-san is making, it goes against all assumptions. Tohko-san tries to hold back her laughter.

"Like you investigating Asagami Fujino's past, I also investigated Asagami Fujino's present. Fujino has not gone to any hospital since the 20th. She did not even go to her personal doctor that she sees secretly."

"Personal... what!?"

Tohko-san frowns in amazement.

"... You're good at searching for things but lack in insight. Look, the scariest thing for a pain insensitive person is something wrong with their body. Since they do not have pain, they cannot know of any sicknesses they might have. As a result, they have a doctor look at them from time to time."

I see. She is completely right. Then... does Asagami Fujino's current parent not know of her pain insensitivity?

"The trigger was a trivial misunderstanding, Kokutoh. Fujino was taken down by a guy with a knife and thought she was going to get stabbed. No, I bet she did almost get stabbed. Since her sense of pain returned at that time, she could use her power too. Cut or twist... Fujino happened to be first. As a result, the guy's neck was twisted off and his blood spilled onto Fujino's body. Fujino must have thought that she must have been stabbed in her stomach."

I can clearly imagine the scene... I shake my head.

"But that's strange. If her sense of pain is back, she wouldn't make that kind of a mistake. She would not feel pain if she was not stabbed."

"Fujino was in pain from the start."

......... Huh?

"I was shown her status from her doctor. She has chronic Arrhythmia... what people call Appendicitis. Well, I guess that is why she went to the doctor. The pain in the stomach is not the pain from the knife, but rather an internal pain. Her pain ached from time to time. If her sense of pain returned right before being stabbed, she would surely think that she was stabbed. If you are raised not knowing pain, you wouldn't even make sure if the wound is there or not. Fujino would look at the stabbed stomach, and even if it doesn't have a wound, she would think that the wound must have healed."

"So... it's a misunderstanding?"

I say so without strength.

"The wound itself is. But the truth does not change. She was indeed on the edge. It doesn't matter if the knife was there or not. Her only way out was to kill them. If she did not kill, she would have been killed. Not her body but her mind. But unfortunately, Minato Keita got away. I don't think it would have turned out this bad if her revenge was completed then.. It's just like Shiki said. It's too late."

Come to think of it, Shiki did repeat that. Why would it be too late? Is it because Fujino has committed murder? But then, that would be when she killed those four guys. I don't understand.

"Why is it too late?"

"Shiki must mean the mental part. Her murder is murder up to five people. A murder other than those is not murder, but a massacre. It is not justified. That is what Shiki was angry about. ... Shiki has a taste for murder but she still understands unconsciously how important death is. That is why she does not kill indiscriminately like Asagami Fujino. For Shiki, she cannot forgive Fujino for just doing as she wishes."

Is Asagami Fujino really doing as she wishes? To me, it seems like she is running away desperately. Tohko-san continues.

"But what I mean by too late is the physical part. Arrihythmia perforate when left alone and becomes Retinitis. Inflammation of retina comes with pain incomparable to that of the vermiform appendix. You could say it matches the pain from being stabbed with a knife. Then, one would start getting fevers and cyanosis. They may even get shocks from lowered blood pressure. If it reaches the duodenum, you could die in half a day. It's been five days since the 20th. It should already be perforated. It's too bad, but it's fatal for her already."

How can this person make such a cool face and say that?

"It's not too late yet. We have to find her quickly...!"

"Kokutoh, our client for this is Asagami Fujino's father. He must have known about Fujino's power. That is why he heard about the incident and thought it must be Fujino's doing. That father said to "kill that monster". The only one that can protect her is wishing for her death. See Kokutoh, she has no salvation in all senses. And besides, Shiki already left."

"...... You idiot...!!"

I scream at no one.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 10

2007-02-28T05:22:45Z

Bored tenshi:

/5

Shiki starts to run. Shiki's speed is amazingly fast even in this puddle of water and in this blowing wind. It should not take more than three seconds to reduce the distance between them from ten meters to zero. It is enough time to take Fujino's thin body to the ground and stab her in her heart. But even that speed cannot match the speed of vision. Shiki has to get near her target while Fujino only has to look at her target. For the two, the difference of three seconds is too long.

"........."

Fujino's eyes glimmers. The left eye for a rotation to the left. The right eye for a rotation to the right. Taking Shiki's head and her left leg as the fulcrum, she twists. Strange feeling occurs instantaneously. The instant Shiki feels an invisible power on her, she jumps to the side. An exploding jump to the side. But the power on Shiki does not weaken. Fujino's power is not a firing weapon. Even if one gets away from one ground, it is impossible to get away from it while she is in her vision.

...... Damn......!!

Shiki realizes Fujino's power is stronger than she thought. Shiki still runs. As if to run out of her vision, Shiki runs in a circle around Fujino.

"Do you think you can get awa-"

Fujino murmurs and then she is astonished. Shiki did get away! Unbelievably, Shiki has jumped off the bridge down to the ocean. A sound of a window being broken is heard. What athletic ability... Shiki went off the bridge and into the parking lot right underneath it.

"What a ridiculous person you are."

Shiki did get away. But Fujino saw Shiki's left arm until the end. She did see Shiki's leather jacket twist. Shiki's left arm cannot be used anymore. Fujino realizes...

"I am...... stronger."

The pain in her stomach gets worse by the second. Withstanding the pain, Fujino makes her way down. She has to settle her match with Ryohgi Shiki now.

Inside the parking lot is darkness. The vision is bad and it is hard to walk. It feels like being in a miniature town. The metal poles and the stacks of materials are arranged like buildings. A few minutes after following Shiki down here, Fujino regrets choosing this place as the battleground. Her ability has to have the target in her vision to make the fulcrum of the twist. Even if Fujino knows that Shiki is hiding behind a metal pole, if she cannot see Shiki in her vision, the twist can only go to the pole. In that slight instant on top of the bridge, Shiki understood Fujino's power. That is why she ran away, to here, the place where she has a chance of winning. ... Fujino realizes how inferior she is at fighting. But still...... She is stronger in power. If she cannot see, she'll just have to destroy everything blocking her view. Fujino takes every metallic pole that might get in her way and bends them. As she twists each one, the pain in her stomach gets worse and the shaking in the parking lot gets harder.

"You really are ridiculous."

Shiki's voice echoes through the darkness. Fujino turns to the direction of the voice. The stack of materials Shiki is hiding behind is instantly smashed. At that instant... a white figure runs out of it.

"... There!!"

Fujino's eyes gets hold on Shiki. The girl in white kimono and a red leather jacket runs toward Fujino sticking her left arm out.

"......!!"

Fujino hesitates a bit and then bends. With a cracking sound, Shiki's left arm breaks. Her neck is next. When Fujino looks... Shiki is already within her range. The line that the knife takes is like a flash of light. It is a bright swing that seems to leave a trace in the darkness forever. The knife that is swung without hesitation however does not hit Fujino. It is because Fujino avoids by ducking the swing that was aimed at her neck. No, it was just an accident. Asagami Fujino only looked away because she got scared of Shiki, who was running towards her with a broken arm.

"Damn..."

Shiki says so and readies her knife again. Fujino frantically stares at Shiki's body.

"... Go away...!"

Shiki's movement is faster than Fujino's scream. Shiki runs into the darkness without hesitation. One should be surprised not at her athletic ability, but her quick thinking at choosing to escape.

"...... What a person......"

Fujino murmurs. Her rough breathing is not from the pain in her stomach. Fujino carefully checks the darkness around her. She does not know when Shiki will jump out of it again. Fujino feels her neck. From the last attack, her neck has a slight scratch. A wound of about 4mm that isn't bleeding. ... It is not bleeding but her breathing is hard.

"Why does she not stop when her arm is broken...?"

Fujino says so aloud, not being able to contain the fear from that question. She cannot forget that moment. Those eyes of Shiki, who still came at her after having her arm broken. Shiki was having fun. That person is enjoying this situation where I, even the one with the advantage, is overwhelmed with tension. Maybe... for Ryohgi Shiki, having her arm broken is not pain, but happiness. Fujino has not enjoyed murder so far. It is because she does not want to kill. But that person is different. That person must like murder. The more extreme the situation is, the happier she becomes. Fujino thinks... if Ryohgi Shiki is a person that lacks in sense of feeling of life, what will she do to substitute for that? For Fujino, it was murder. When she sees other humans die, she gets this indescribable feeling in her. Since Fujino found out what pain feels like, she is able to sympathize when looking at others in pain. The reality that she is the one in control of others makes her feel that she really does exist. A "ruthless murder" is Fujino's substitute. She does not know it herself, but Fujino takes pleasure in murder. Then what is Ryohgi Shiki's substitute......?

---

"That was bad"

Hiding behind a stack of debris, Shiki murmurs to herself. The arm had no power when it was twisted on the bridge. Since it was useless, she decided to use it as a shield and rely on one strike. But the plan failed because of the fact that Fujino was more cowardly than Shiki thought she would be. Shiki takes off her jacket and cuts the sleeve. Using the cut cloth, she stops the bleeding on her left arm. A rough treatment which she just wraps around the cloth on her upper arm. The left arm that was twisted has no feeling. It will probably never move. Shiki feels a chill at that fact.

"You're great Asagami. You're the best...!"

She is losing blood quickly. She feels herself losing consciousness.

... I'm hot-blooded anyways. If I lose some, it will just make me think more clearly...

Shiki concentrates. Asagami Fujino is a strong enemy that might be the best she'll ever meet. One mistake could cost her life. That is pleasant, that makes Shiki feel that she is alive. For Shiki, who is bound by her past, only this moment is real. This sensation that she is able to feel only when putting her life in danger. That small life of hers that she can declare as her own. Kill or be killed. Since even her normal life is vague, Shiki can feel life only by such basic methods like this. If Asagami Fujino seeks pleasure in murder... Ryohgi Shiki seeks the sensation of life by relating with murder. Fujino fears this situation.... and Shiki wishes for this situation. That is the difference between the hunter and the hunted. The difference between the two is definite at this time.

... Fujino's breathing echoes in the air.
... Roughly, strongly, painfully, as if in fear...

She is breathing hard like Shiki even though she has not been hurt yet. In the dark, they breath in unison. Are their beats, minds, and even their life the same? The bridge swinging in the storm feels like a crib. Shiki, for the first time, feels some affection toward Fujino. So much that she feels she must take Fujino's life with her own hands.

"I know it's useless though......"

Shiki murmurs. She knew from the time she saw her at the cafe. She knows that the inside of Asagami Fujino is on the verge of breaking down. It's meaningless to finish off Fujino right now. But, that's like life. Shiki thinks some things should come out of meaningless actions. She remembers Tohko saying that humans are creatures that do meaningless things. Shiki feels the same way now. Exactly like this bridge. People contempt one uselessness as stupidity while praising another uselessness as art. Where does the boundary lie? Boundaries are uncertain. It is yourself that establishes it, but it's always the outside that determines it. Then there is no such thing as a boundary to begin with. The world is full of empty boundaries. That is why there are no walls in society to separate the abnormal from the normal.

... The one to make the wall is us.
Like me wanting to get away from the world.
Like how Mikiya thinks I'm not abnormal.
... Like how Asagami Fujino is running away to death...

In that sense, Shiki and Fujino are alike. They are similar. In this small space, two of the same kind is not needed.

"Let's go. I can see the trick to your magic show now."

After shaking her head clear from bleeding, Shiki gets up. She grips her knife hard in her right hand. If Fujino does not lay her own boundary... then she will just have to eliminate her.

Shiki slowly appears. Fujino cannot believe her eyes. Shiki comes out directly in front of her, and far away too. Fujino does not notice but her fever is over 39 degrees now. She does not realize that the pain in her stomach is from a "certain condition".

"... I see. ...... You must be abnormal."

Fujino can only think so. Fujino looks at Shiki and bends. Her vision distorts. The fulcrum made in Shiki's head and leg each twist in the opposite direction and twist Shiki's body like a piece of carpet.

... It should have twisted her.

Shiki, whose left arm is bleeding, nullifies Fujino's "distortion" just by swinging the knife in her right hand. No...... she killed it.

"It's hard to see those without shape but you used your power too many times. Now I can finally see them. Your power is a spiral of red and green. It's really... beautiful."

Fujino does not understand what Shiki is saying. The only thing she realizes is that Shiki will surely kill her now. Fujino repeatedly prays. Bend, bend, bend, bend. As Fujino glares, Shiki swings her knife and eliminates the power. The pain in Fujino's stomach is about to go over its limit.

"Who...... are you?"

Shiki answers Fujino's fear with infinitely deep eyes.

"Everything in existence has an imperfection. Especially humans, but even in air, will, and time. It's natural to have an end if it has a beginning. My eyes can see the death of things. They're special like yours."

Shiki looks at Fujino with the ominous eyes that Fujino felt before.

"That's why... if it's alive, I can even kill a God."

Shiki runs. It is graceful as if she is walking. She runs to Fujino and pushes her down onto the ground. Shiki get on top of her. Fujino shakes her throat at facing Death so close to her.

"Are you... going to kill me?"

Shiki does not answer.

"Why are you going to kill me? I only killed because my wound was hurting."

Shiki laughs.

"That's a lie. Then why are you laughing? That time before, and even now. Why do you seem so happy?"

Fujino hesitates. Fujino quietly places her hand on her own mouth.

............... It's bent.

She did not know because she does not feel anything, but she is certainly smiling......

My first murder.
... How did my face look in the pool of blood?

My second murder.
... How did my face look in the pool of blood?

I do not know but there was always an irritation. I was always irritated when I killed. Was that emotion... happiness? I could not even feel anything when I was raped, so I took pleasure in murder......?

"In the end, you were enjoying it. You like hurting others. That's why that pain would never go away."

It is because if the pain goes away, Fujino would have no reason to kill. The wound will continue hurting, for the sake of Fujino herself.

"......... That is...... the answer?"

Fujino murmurs. She does not want to accept it. She does not want to think about it. Because she must be different from Shiki......

"I told you, we are alike."

Shiki's knife moves. Fujino screams at the top of her lungs... For everything to bend.

The parking lot shakes. The ocean in the middle of the storm appears inside of Fujino's mind. Withstanding the burning in her brain, Fujino makes a fulcrum on each side of the bridge...

... And bends them...

---

*BOOM*

A big noise as if a lightning came crashing down is heard. The metal foundation creaks and screams. The ground tilts and the ceiling starts to collapse. Fujino blankly stares at the building that is about to collapse. The girl that was on her went down as the world suddenly tilted. There is a storm outside with ocean below. If she fell without being able to grab onto something, she will surely die. Fujino orders her body, which is even having trouble breathing. She tells it that this place is going to collapse, so she has to get away from here. Dragging her body about to burn out, Fujino exits the parking lot. The shopping mall is relatively free of damage. The square corridor is now a rhombus.

Fujino walks, or at least she thinks she is walking... then falls. She cannot breath. Her legs would not move. Her head is in a daze and she cannot think. What is there is...... yes, only the strong pain inside of her. For the first time, Fujino thinks she is going to die. Because it hurts so much. This is unbearable. It's better to just die rather than living on with this pain.

"...... *Cough*"

Laying face down, Fujino coughs out blood. On the ground, she is in a daze. In the vision that goes white, only her blood is clear. Red blood... red vision. The setting sun seems like it is burning... always seems like it is burning...

"No...... I do not... want to die."

Fujino reaches out her arms. If her legs would not move, she will have to use her arms. Dragging her body, she inches forward. If she doesn't do so, Death would come for her. Fujino keeps moving. All the senses in her are pain. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts... that is the only words she can think about. It is the feeling of pain she finally obtained, but she hates it now. But...... it is true. It hurts... it really hurts, so she continues wishing. She does not want to die. She does not want to disappear. She has to keep living and do something. Because she have not done anything, or left nothing behind...

That is too miserable.
That is too empty.
... That is too sad.

But it hurts. It hurts so much that the will to continue living might go numb and and disappear . It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. It hurts, but... ... Fujino moves her arms while still coughing up blood. What she repeats are the same words. For the first time in her life, Fujino wishes strongly.
... I want to live longer.
... I want to talk longer.
... I want to love longer.
... I want to stay here longer......

But nothing moves now. Only the pain repeats. This is the true form of what she was enjoying. The truth hurts more than anything for Asagami Fujino. Now she truly understands the sins she has committed, the meaning of the blood she spilled. The meaning is so heavy that she cannot even apologize. She only recalls the kind smile. If that person was here... would he still hug me? Her body convulses. The blood coming up her throat tells her of the final pain about to come. That impact causes her light to go away. Now she can only see what is left in her. No, even that is fading away...... Not being able to stand the loneliness of disappearing, Fujino talks aloud. Her true will that she has hidden so stubbornly. ... A small wish that she has dreamed of since she was small.

"......... It hurts. It hurts, Senpai. It really hurts... It hurts so much... I might cry... Mother, can I cry?"

... This is what she wanted to tell someone.
... If she could have said that on that day three years ago...

She cries. It hurts, it's sad, and it's so lonely that she can only cry. But just doing that eases the pain. That person has told her that pain is not something one bears but something one appeals to someone to love them. Fujino is thankful she met him... really thankful for being able to see him once again before this...

"Are you in pain?"

At the end of the pain, Shiki is standing. She has a knife in one hand. Fujino turns over to face Shiki.

"You should have said you were in pain if you were hurting."

Shiki says so in the end. ... It is the same words as in Fujino's memory. "Certainly", Fujino thinks. Even if she could say that starting now, She might not have come down this road. That inconvenient, but normal life goes through her head, but she cannot go back. she has committed too many sins. She has killed too many people. ... She has killed many people for the sake of her own happiness.

Asagami Fujino slowly stops her own breathing. Her sense of pain quickly disappears. It's fast that she does not feel the pain of the knife stabbed in her chest.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 09

2007-02-28T04:33:32Z

Bored tenshi:

/4

July 24th. It has been one day since Kokutoh Mikiya went to investigate Asagami Fujino. Not much happened in this time. The only significant events are a big hurricane coming later tonight up to tomorrow morning and a 17 year old driving without a license dying in a collision. At least, thats all that happened publicly. Ryohgi Shiki is just staring outside in Aozaki Tohko's office. The summer sky is so huge that one instantly gets weary of looking at it. In the cloudless sky lies the shining sun. It seems like a bad dream that this clear sky is going to be covered by storm clouds later tonight. *Clang* *Clang* The noise echoes. A metal factory is beside this office. Since Shiki is beside the window, the noise hits her ears without rest. Shiki looks at Tohko. Tohko is making a phone call wearing her glasses.

"Yes, that is right. About that accident. ... I see, so he was indeed dead before the collision. Is his cause of death strangulation? That isn't wrong. If the neck is twisted off then it is strangulation. It does not matter how strongly it was done. How have you people treat this as an accident? A collision, I see... That would seem right. There was only the victim in the car. No detective can solve the mystery of a moving sealed room. No, that's all the information I wanted. Thank you very much. I will repay you for this somehow, Officer Akimi."

Tohko sounds very formal and kind. It is so different from her usual tone, whoever knows her normal tone would shiver from hearing it. After hanging up the phone, Tohko shifts her glasses. Emotionless eyes are underneath.

"Shiki, the 7th victim appeared. This is more than the killer two years ago."

Shiki walks away from the window a bit upset. She wanted to see the sky be taken over by dark clouds.

"I told you. It has to be a meaningless murder this time."

"It seems so. Minato Keita doesn't know this Takagi Shouichi guy who died in the accident. This murder has nothing to do with her revenge."

Shiki, who is wearing a white kimono, grits her teeth. What's there is anger. She puts on a red leather jacket.

"I see. Then I can't wait any longer. Tohko, do you know where she is?"

"Nope. I can guess a few places where she might be hiding. If you're going to look for her, you'll just have to go look at all those places."

Tohko takes out a few cards from her desk and throws it at Shiki. Shiki grabs the cards.

"... These are... Asagami group's personal identification cards? Who is this Araya Souren guy?"

All three cards are entrance cards to the construction areas which the Asagami construction is involved in. It must be a magnetic lock since there is a magnetic stripe on each card.

"That alias is the name of one of my acquaintances. I couldn't think of a random name. I used it when I made someone make these ID cards. Well, that doesn't matter. Asagami Fujino should be hiding in one of those places. It'll be troublesome, so finish this off before Kokutoh gets back."

Shiki glares at Tohko. Her usually hollow eyes become sharp. She directs a silent complaint to Tohko but turns around without saying anything. It is because she has the same opinion as Tohko. Shiki does not hurry out but leaves with her usual graceful steps. Now thats she's alone, Tohko looks outside the window.

"Looks like Kokutoh didn't make it. Well, would the storm come first or would a "storm "occur first? Shiki by herself might not make it out alive, Ryohgi."

The magus murmurs to no one.

---

Right after noon, the weather starts to change. The blue sky is now already covered with gray clouds. The wind is getting stronger too. Everyone walking around is saying that a storm is near.

"Guh......"

I keep walking, holding the burning stomach. I didn't know about the storm. Probably because I was so caught up with looking for someone. The town is rowdy but there are fewer and fewer people out on the streets. It looks like I won't be able to do it tonight. I think I should go back for today.

After many hours, I finally reach the port on foot. The sky is already dark even though its still seven in the summertime. A storm can even mess up the usual times of seasons. I move my body, which is lagging more in reaction as time goes on, and reach the entrance of the bridge. This bridge is the bridge my father is working the hardest on. A big bridge that connects this port and the port on the other side. The bridge is a four-laned road with many pathways beneath it. The underground is like a shopping mall. Even though it is floating on the ocean, I call it underground because it's under the bridge. The upper part of the bridge has guards so I can't get in. But the entrance to the underground mall is unmanned and I can go inside if I have a card. I take one of the cards out, which I took from my house, and open the door.

... It's dark inside. It is because even though most of the interior design is finished, electricity isn't running. The empty mall seems like a station about to close up for the day. The corridors stretch on forever. Many different stores are on either side of the corridor. I walk for about 500 meters and end up in a parking lot. This place is still under construction and is really messy. The walls are unfinished and the bags on there to keep the rain out are making noises from the wind. ...... It's almost eight o'clock. The wind is strong. I want to plug my ears from the sound of the wind and the crashing of the waves. The sound of rain hitting the walls is more fierce than the machine guns I see in movies.

"Rain......"

It was raining on that day too. After my first murder, I washed myself off in the rain. After that, I was able to meet that person. That person whom I met only once in middle school and whom I only talked to for a bit to.

... Yes, I remember. It was a time when the sun was setting. After an event at out school, a Senpai from a different school talked to me, who was still on the field. I could not move because I had sprained my ankle. Since I am pain insensitive, I actually could move and even if I did move, it had no effect on me mentally. But my swelled ankle tells me that it will get worse if I move anymore. All I could do was watch the sunset without feeling anything. At that time, I did not call for help. I did not want to call for help. If I did, everyone would tell me...
"You beared quite a bit of pain. "
"Does it hurt?"
"Doesn't it hurt?"
"Don't you think it hurts?"
I do not want that. That is why I was sitting down with a normal expression. I was being a bit stubborn not to let anyone notice. My mother, father, teacher, friends... nobody noticed. I had to let everyone think that Fujino is normal. At that time, somebody tapped me on my shoulder. I did not feel it but I heard a sound by my ear. When I turned around, that person was standing there. He looked kind without knowing what I was thinking. I think my first impression of him was that I did not like him.

"Does it hurt?"

That person greeted me with unbelievable words. How did he know about the wound that nobody should know about? I shook my head. I was being stubborn not to admit it. He looked at the name tag on my gym uniform and said my name. He then felt my sore ankle and made a sour face. I knew he was going to say something I did not like, so I closed my eyes. I did not want to hear insensitive words from people with normal senses such as "does it hurt" or "is the pain bad". But he said something completely different.

"You're stupid. Look, pain is not something you should bear. Pain is something you have to appeal, Fujino-chan."

... That is what Senpai told me when I was in middle school. After that, Senpai carried me to the nurse's office and that was that. It was like a vague dream. Come to think of it, Asagami Fujino might have fallen in love with him since that time. That smile that worried about my suffering that nobody noticed......

*Throb* My stomach aches. That pushes me out of my dream. There is no way I can be dreaming when I'm covered in people's blood. But... rain might wash off my impurity. I want to go up to the bridge. The storm is already here. On the bridge, it should be like a tipped bucket out there. I start to get excited. I drag my body, which feels pain all the time now, and go up the slope in the parking lot.

Asagami Fujino goes up onto the bridge.
To be soaked in the familiar summer rain.

---

The big bridge has turned into a shallow lake. The four-lanes of asphalt are covered with rain water and it goes up to one's ankles. The smashing rain comes down at an angle and the wind is raging as if to knock the street lamps down. The sky is dark. The light of the port is far away and unreachable like watching the moon from the ground. Asagami Fujino comes out into this storm. The black uniform blends into the night. She walks soaked in rain, breathing out from her purple lips. When she reaches a street lamp, she meets Death.

"I finally found you, Asagami."

In the sea of the storm, Ryohgi Shiki stands dressed in a white kimono. The red leather jacket reflects off rain. She is also soaked in rain and it makes her look like a ghost.

Shiki and Fujino both stand under the street lamp. There is about 10 meters of ground between them. She finds it strange that they can see each other and hear each other in this heavy rain and the raging wind.

"Ryohgi...... Shiki."

"You should have just gone back home like I told you. You're a beast that knows the taste of blood. You're enjoying murder."

"...... That is you. I am not enjoying murder."

Fujino, still breathing hard, stares at Shiki. What is there are enmity and a will to kill. Fujino quietly covers her face with her left hand. ...... From in between her fingers, her glaring eyes show. As if to answer them, Shiki holds up a knife in her right hand. This is the third time they have met. Shiki laughs thinking that there does exist a line that goes "third time's the charm" in this country. This Asagami Fujino is more than sufficient as her target.

"... I feel it. Yes, we are alike.
Yeah...... I can kill you as you are now."

With those words, the two's restraints are completely removed.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 09

2007-02-27T05:25:58Z

Bored tenshi:

/4

July 24th. It has been one day since Kokutoh Mikiya went to investigate Asagami Fujino. Not much happened in this time. The only significant events are a big hurricane coming later tonight up to tomorrow morning and a 17 year old driving without a license dying in a collision. At least, thats all that happened publicly. Ryohgi Shiki is just staring outside in Aozaki Tohko's office. The summer sky is so huge that one instantly gets weary of looking at it. In the cloudless sky lies the shining sun. It seems like a bad dream that this clear sky is going to be covered by storm clouds later tonight. *Clang* *Clang* The noise echoes. A metal factory is beside this office. Since Shiki is beside the window, the noise hits her ears without rest. Shiki looks at Tohko. Tohko is making a phone call wearing her glasses.

"Yes, that is right. About that accident. ... I see, so he was indeed dead before the collision. Is his cause of death strangulation? That is not wrong. If the neck is twisted off, that is strangulation. It does not matter how strongly it was done. How have you people treat this as an accident? A collision, I see... That would seem right. There was only the victim in the car. No detective can solve the mystery of a moving sealed room. No, that's all the information I wanted. Thank you very much. I will repay you for this somehow, Officer Akimi."

Tohko sounds very formal and kind. It is so different from her usual tone, whoever knows her normal tone would shiver from hearing it. After hanging up the phone, Tohko shifts her glasses. Emotionless eyes are underneath.

"Shiki, the 7th victim appeared. This is more than the killer two years ago."

Shiki walks away from the window a bit upset. She wanted to see the sky be taken over by dark clouds.

"I told you. It has to be a meaningless murder this time."

"It seems so. Minato Keita doesn't know this Takagi Shouichi guy who died in the accident. This murder has nothing to do with her revenge."

Shiki, who is wearing a white kimono, grits her teeth. What's there is anger. She puts on a red leather jacket.

"I see. Then I can't wait any longer. Tohko, do you know where she is?"

"Nope. I can guess a few places where she might be hiding. If you're going to look for her, you'll just have to go look at all those places."

Tohko takes out a few cards from her desk and throws it at Shiki. Shiki grabs the cards.

"... These are... Asagami group's personal identification cards? Who is this Araya Souren guy?"

All three cards are entrance cards to the construction areas which the Asagami construction is involved in. It must be a magnetic lock since there is a magnetic stripe on each card.

"That alias is the name of one of my acquaintances. I couldn't think of a random name. I used it when I made someone make these ID cards. Well, that doesn't matter. Asagami Fujino should be hiding in one of those places. It'll be troublesome, so finish this off before Kokutoh gets back."

Shiki glares at Tohko. Her usually hollow eyes become sharp. She directs a silent complaint to Tohko but turns around without saying anything. It is because she has the same opinion as Tohko. Shiki does not hurry out but leaves with her usual graceful steps. Now thats she's alone, Tohko looks outside the window.

"Looks like Kokutoh didn't make it. Well, would the storm come first or would a "storm "occur first? Shiki by herself might not make it out alive, Ryohgi."

The magus murmurs to no one.

---

Right after noon, the weather starts to change. The blue sky is now already covered with gray clouds. The wind is getting stronger too. Everyone walking around is saying that a storm is near.

"Guh......"

I keep walking, holding the burning stomach. I didn't know about the storm. Probably because I was so caught up with looking for someone. The town is rowdy but there are fewer and fewer people out on the streets. It looks like I won't be able to do it tonight. I think I should go back for today.

After many hours, I finally reach the port on foot. The sky is already dark even though its still seven in the summertime. A storm can even mess up the usual times of seasons. I move my body, which is lagging more in reaction as time goes on, and reach the entrance of the bridge. This bridge is the bridge my father is working the hardest on. A big bridge that connects this port and the port on the other side. The bridge is a four-laned road with many pathways beneath it. The underground is like a shopping mall. Even though it is floating on the ocean, I call it underground because it's under the bridge. The upper part of the bridge has guards so I can't get in. But the entrance to the underground mall is unmanned and I can go inside if I have a card. I take one of the cards out, which I took from my house, and open the door.

... It's dark inside. It is because even though most of the interior design is finished, electricity isn't running. The empty mall seems like a station about to close up for the day. The corridors stretch on forever. Many different stores are on either side of the corridor. I walk for about 500 meters and end up in a parking lot. This place is still under construction and is really messy. The walls are unfinished and the bags on there to keep the rain out are making noises from the wind. ...... It's almost eight o'clock. The wind is strong. I want to plug my ears from the sound of the wind and the crashing of the waves. The sound of rain hitting the walls is more fierce than the machine guns I see in movies.

"Rain......"

It was raining on that day too. After my first murder, I washed myself off in the rain. After that, I was able to meet that person. That person whom I met only once in middle school and whom I only talked to for a bit to.

... Yes, I remember. It was a time when the sun was setting. After an event at out school, a Senpai from a different school talked to me, who was still on the field. I could not move because I had sprained my ankle. Since I am pain insensitive, I actually could move and even if I did move, it had no effect on me mentally. But my swelled ankle tells me that it will get worse if I move anymore. All I could do was watch the sunset without feeling anything. At that time, I did not call for help. I did not want to call for help. If I did, everyone would tell me...
"You beared quite a bit of pain. "
"Does it hurt?"
"Doesn't it hurt?"
"Don't you think it hurts?"
I do not want that. That is why I was sitting down with a normal expression. I was being a bit stubborn not to let anyone notice. My mother, father, teacher, friends... nobody noticed. I had to let everyone think that Fujino is normal. At that time, somebody tapped me on my shoulder. I did not feel it but I heard a sound by my ear. When I turned around, that person was standing there. He looked kind without knowing what I was thinking. I think my first impression of him was that I did not like him.

"Does it hurt?"

That person greeted me with unbelievable words. How did he know about the wound that nobody should know about? I shook my head. I was being stubborn not to admit it. He looked at the name tag on my gym uniform and said my name. He then felt my sore ankle and made a sour face. I knew he was going to say something I did not like, so I closed my eyes. I did not want to hear insensitive words from people with normal senses such as "does it hurt" or "is the pain bad". But he said something completely different.

"You're stupid. Look, pain is not something you should bear. Pain is something you have to appeal, Fujino-chan."

... That is what Senpai told me when I was in middle school. After that, Senpai carried me to the nurse's office and that was that. It was like a vague dream. Come to think of it, Asagami Fujino might have fallen in love with him since that time. That smile that worried about my suffering that nobody noticed......

*Throb* My stomach aches. That pushes me out of my dream. There is no way I can be dreaming when I'm covered in people's blood. But... rain might wash off my impurity. I want to go up to the bridge. The storm is already here. On the bridge, it should be like a tipped bucket out there. I start to get excited. I drag my body, which feels pain all the time now, and go up the slope in the parking lot.

Asagami Fujino goes up onto the bridge.
To be soaked in the familiar summer rain.

---

The big bridge has turned into a shallow lake. The four-lanes of asphalt are covered with rain water and it goes up to one's ankles. The smashing rain comes down at an angle and the wind is raging as if to knock the street lamps down. The sky is dark. The light of the port is far away and unreachable like watching the moon from the ground. Asagami Fujino comes out into this storm. The black uniform blends into the night. She walks soaked in rain, breathing out from her purple lips. When she reaches a street lamp, she meets Death.

"I finally found you, Asagami."

In the sea of the storm, Ryohgi Shiki stands dressed in a white kimono. The red leather jacket reflects off rain. She is also soaked in rain and it makes her look like a ghost.

Shiki and Fujino both stand under the street lamp. There is about 10 meters of ground between them. She finds it strange that they can see each other and hear each other in this heavy rain and the raging wind.

"Ryohgi...... Shiki."

"You should have just gone back home like I told you. You're a beast that knows the taste of blood. You're enjoying murder."

"...... That is you. I am not enjoying murder."

Fujino, still breathing hard, stares at Shiki. What is there are enmity and a will to kill. Fujino quietly covers her face with her left hand. ...... From in between her fingers, her glaring eyes show. As if to answer them, Shiki holds up a knife in her right hand. This is the third time they have met. Shiki laughs thinking that there does exist a line that goes "third time's the charm" in this country. This Asagami Fujino is more than sufficient as her target.

"... I feel it. Yes, we are alike.
Yeah...... I can kill you as you are now."

With those words, the two's restraints are completely removed.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 08

2007-02-23T05:32:31Z

Bored tenshi:

4

I tell Tohko-san about the situation have her protect Keita. She lets the boy, who hasn't slept since the night of the incident, on her sofa and comes back to the office where Shiki and I are waiting. Tohko-san sits on her chair and Shiki is leaning against the wall. I am sitting at the sofa directly in front of Tohko-san. Finally calming down after Keita sleeps, they both tell me I am too good-natured. I take their words of criticism with a sullen face.

"I knew you guys were going to make fun of me like that."

"If you knew, you shouldn't have involved yourself in this mess. You're easily taken advantage of by those kind of guys.."

"It can't be helped. The situation was special."

Tohko-san ponders to my response. She is using offensive words, but she did accept taking in Keita for protection. Shiki, However, is against it. She might be really mad as she is glaring at me without saying anything.

"Special case, huh? I do admit this is an abnormal case but what are you going to do now? Are you thinking about looking for her and persuading her?"

"...... I'm thinking so. We can't have him here forever and Asagami Fujino might continue killing people. I think I can only go see her and talk to her."

"You idiot. That's why we say you're too good-natured."

Shiki holds nothing back. She never does, but she is rather offensive today. She really is mad today.

"You won't be able to talk to her, it's too late. She won't stop until she accomplishes her goal. No, I don't even know if she'll stop then. Her means and intention are reversed."

"Shiki, you sound like you know her."

"I know her and I've met her too. She was there with Azaka yesterday."

I'm surprised. I wonder why Azaka would be with Asagami Fujino. They are totally unrelat--.... I guess not. I only heard that she is a high schooler but it's a different story if she is from Asagami Lady Academy.

"You're pretty slow, Kokutoh. You haven't investigated on Asagami Fujino yet?"

"Hey now, I only heard her name for the first time two hours ago. My purpose was to protect Minato Keita, so I didn't have time to do such a thing."

... But I have a bad feeling about this. It's not that I'm worried that Azaka might be involved... it feels more like the impatience you feel when you are forced to think about what you've been avoiding.

"... Then is Asagami Fujino still going to school?"

"No, she hasn't been home or back at the dorms since the night of the incident. She's been skipping school too, she has completely disappeared. Azaka said she hasn't seen her since yesterday."

"Tohko-san, when did you research this?"

"Just a while ago. I received a search request from her parents. I heard Azaka was with Asagami Fujino yesterday from Shiki but it seems Azaka didn't notice anything wrong with her friend."

What irony, if my promise with Azaka was a day later or if I found Keita faster, yesterday's victim might not have been killed.

"So the protection of Minato Keita is not meaningless for us. If we cannot find her, we can use him as bait. It'll get rough from there so you and Keita should stay here."

With that, I finally understand... the reason why Shiki is here.

"Rough......? What are you going to do with Asagami Fujino?"

"Depending on the circumstance, we'll have to resort to fighting. First of all, even the client is wishing for that. He doesn't want his daughter reported as a killer. He told us to get rid of her before it all goes public."

"What? It's not like she's committing meaningless murders...! I think a discussion is possible."

"Oh, that's impossible. You haven't heard the big truth. You don't know the final blow she took when she killed them. I made Keita confess when I put him to sleep. I heard that his leader attacked Fujino on the last night with a knife. It seems she was stabbed. That's what triggered her revenge."

... Knife... so she was threatened with a knife even after being violated? So why would that be the reason she's beyond help?

"The problem is right there. She was stabbed in her stomach on the night of the 20th. Shiki saw her two days later. At that time, she had no wound... she was completely healed."

"Stabbed in the stomach......"

Hold on. Don't think anymore. My mind tries to stop me but fails. On the night of 20th, student of the Reien Academy, stabbed in the stomach......

"I heard from Keita but she says on the phone that she cannot forget because the wound keeps on hurting. The wound that healed starts to hurt. Probably, whenever she has a flashback of the times when she was violated, the pain of being stabbed returns. The horrible memory brings back the horrible pain. I believe the pain is an illusion but it must be real for her. This is no different than a fit. Every time Asagami Fujino has a flashback of the pain that doesn't even exist, she kills. Who can be sure that won't happen while you're talking with her?"

But that means we could talk to her if she doesn't feel the pain. But before I could say that, Shiki speaks out.

"That's wrong, Tohko. She really has pain. Her pain is still in her body."

"That can't be. Then Shiki, is it your mistake that her wound is completely healed?"

"Her stabbed wound is healed. There's nothing like a piece of metal in her. Her pain really did appear and disappear. It's already too late when she's in pain, but when she's not, she's too boring. I told you that I came back cause she wasn't even worth killing."

"Well, she would be already dead if a metal piece was still in her. But a wound that still hurts after it's healed, huh?"

Tohko-san takes out a cigarette as if saying she doesn't understand. I too can only wonder at Shiki's words. It's normal to be in pain until the wound heals. But why would the pain of a wound that's already healed come back from time to time? That's like having only the sense of pain remaining in your body.

"... Oh."

And it hits me. It's not an answer to her unknown symptoms, but I am able to understand why Keita called her weird.

"What Kokutoh, is it some new way of staying healthy by saying vowels out loud?"

... I don't think anyone who would do such a thing, even if it existed.

"No, about Asagami Fujino being weird."

Tohko-san raises her brow. Oh, I only told her the summary of the story, so I guess I haven't told her about this yet. I tell her about the strange condition of Fujino.

"Isn't something strange? It was in the conversation with Minato Keita, but it seems she was unaffected by anything they did to her. I thought she was a firm girl at first, but I was wrong. She isn't that strong of a girl."

"...... You sound like you know her, Mikiya."

Shiki glares at me. My instincts tell me ignore her. ... I might put myself in the hole if I don't.

"It's possible... I don't know that much about it, but I think she might have something like Paresthesia, or pain insensitivity?"

Pain insensitivity is just as it sounds, a disorder where one cannot feel any pain. It's a very rare disorder, so you never see it but if that happens to be the case, her strange symptoms might be possible.

"I see. Then that can explain some things, but there should be a reason. Even if she did get stabbed, if she is pain insensitive, there won't be any pain to start out with. You also need to check if she was born with it and you also have to know if her nerves are dissociated. Well, even if she is pain insensitive, are there any reasons that might cause it to malfunction? Like hitting her back hard or taking lots of steroids?"

Hitting her back hard... it must be that.

"I don't know how hard but I heard they hit her in the back with a bat."

I say this as unemotionally as possible. Tohko-san just laughs.

"I see. It's them, they should have had a full swing. Then her backbone might have been broken. Even small fracture is considered a broken bone. And she was still violated even after her backbone was broken, not knowing what that feeling is. Geez, that's the first pain she feels, huh? She must have not understood what her irritation is. Wow, I'm surprised you decided to protect Minato Keita."

Tohko-san says so while making a grin. She has this bad habit of cornering someone with her words. I guess she likes to attack people mentally, and it usually ends up being me. I usually fight back, but I cannot answer right now. ... I don't have the confidence to answer. All I could do is look down and reject her response.

"... So, Tohko-san, are the backbone and pain insensitivity related somehow?"

"Yeah, your spine controls your nerves, right? When you have a problem with your sense of pain, you usually have something wrong in your spine. Do you know of Syringomyelia?"

... I would not know of such a technical medical term. Tohko-san lowers her shoulders in disappointment when I shake my head.

"Syringomyelia is the most known case of pain insensitivity. Listen Kokutoh, there are two types of senses. Superficial sensation that lets you feel such things as pain, temperature, and feeling. And there's deep sensation that tells you of your body movements and general area. Normally, these two senses work at the same time. Do you know what it means to have no sense at all?"

"I can understand in words. You won't feel anything when you touch, you don't taste things even when you eat it, right?"

Tohko-san nods with a smile.

"That's a natural response of a person with senses. You think they don't have senses but have a body, so they are like you. But that's wrong. To have no sense means that you cannot gain anything, Kokutoh."

Cannot gain anything...? No way. They should still be able to hold things and talk to others. Then that would only mean that they cannot feel what they are touching. Why would that lead to not being able to gain anything? It's not like they don't have their body. I think it's better than someone missing a part of their body or something.

Then I realize. ...... No body. Even when they touch, they cannot feel that they are touching. They just look at it and confirm that they are "touching". That is the same as reading a book. What's so different about it from reading a book or imaging a story? Even when they walk, they are only moving their body. They do not feel the ground, but only feel their feet moving. No, even that feeling is barely confirmed by looking at their own feet. To have no sense means not having a body. That would make them no different from ghosts. For them, all reality is what they see through their eyes. That's the same as not being able to touch anything even if they really can touch...!!

"So that's pain insensitivity, huh."

... That night, I met a girl who was unconfident about all of reality.

"That's right. Let's assume Asagami Fujino's pain insensitivity temporary went away from being hit in the back. Then that would mean she knows what pain feels like. That sense she has never felt before must be her impulse for murder."

Would that girl, who found out what pain feels like, hate the feeling of pain? No, it's impossible for her to think so. ... Since she is like a ghost, i can only imagine how happy must she have been when she felt the sensation of pain. She would have not understood the feeling of happiness either though.

"... Maybe the pain insensitivity went away temporary for her to feel pain and might have caused her to figure out the emotion of hate. The feeling of pain she finally obtained triggered her revenge..."

... What irony.

"That's the question. Fujino said she is taking revenge because her wound is hurting, but I have to wonder. To be more accurate, her pain makes her recall the violations done to her which makes her want to take revenge. I think this is how it is but it just doesn't feel right. First of all, according to Shiki, she's back to pain insensitivity, right? Then that would take her reason for revenge away. Her wound should not hurt since it's healed."

"That's wrong, Tohko-san. To have no feeling must mean she has no sexual feelings too. So she cannot feel anything even when they rape her. For her, it only means that her body was raped. But... no, because of that, instead of her body hurting, her heart was taking the pain. I think her wound is not on her body but rather on her heart. That's why the pain comes back with the memory, because her heart is in pain."

Tohko-san does not answer. In her place, Shiki starts to laugh.

"That's impossible. There's no such thing as a heart. How can something that's not there hurt?"

... If she says that, I can't think of any comebacks. Surely, sentimental things, such as a heart, are not something you can prove to exist. When I am just standing there silently, Tohko-san disagrees with Shiki.

"But people's heart, their minds, are easily broken. I don't think you can conclude that it can't be hurt just because it has no shape. In reality, some people die because they are hurt mentally. No matter how bad of a illusion it is, as long as it is true for the person, the illusion can be called "pain"."

That's a rather ambiguous answer for her. But for me right now, she is someone on my side. Shiki gets mad.

"What, Tohko, are you siding with Asagami Fujino too? She's not like that."

"Yeah, I feel the same way about that. I don't think Asagami Fujino would be that sentimental. She takes revenge because her heart hurts? I don't think so. Because, if you're pain insensitive, even your heart won't feel pain."

She instantly sides against me.

"Look, personality is medically defined as "a phenomenon of which a person reacts to outside force". A person's emotion... such things as kindness and hate cannot just come from within. It would not function unless something from outside stimulates it. That's why there is pain. To not have pain means this cannot happen. People with pain insensitivity lack personality. They do not think like you or have tastes similar to us. They do not understand common sense. That's why talking with her is meaningless."

She casually tells me the conclusion of the idea of talking with her. Her casualness seems rather like a last warning and puts me on the edge.

"... Please don't say that when you haven't even met her."

I stand up from the sofa not being able to take it.

"That's all under the assumption that Asagami Fujino is pain insensitive since she was born. This might not be the case."

"You're the one who said she might be pain insensitive."

She says so coldly. ... This person really does not care about others. How can she be so cold to Asagami Fujino when she's a woman? Or is it that she can be this cold ''because'' she is a woman?

"Well, I do have things that I'm concerned about too. Asagami Fujino might be just a victim. The question is which was first."

... What does she mean by "which was first"? Tohko-san starts to ponder and does not explain anymore.

"What do you think, Shiki?"

I ask her without turning around. Shiki answers exactly as I expected.

"Same as Tohko. But I can't forgive Asagami Fujino, disregarding what Tohko thinks. I feel sick just by thinking that she might commit another murder."

"Hate for those like you, huh? It does seem true that your kind doesn't like to form groups."

Tohko-san hears Shiki's words. I know why Shiki said so. ... When will Shiki realize herself that she really does not like murder? Asagami Fujino and Ryohgi Shiki, I do think the two are alike. Since they are similar, they cannot forgive the crucial difference. If the two do end up fighting... would Shiki realize her true feelings? No, I cannot let the two fight.

"...... I understand. I'll look into her information my way. Can I see any data on her if you have any?"

Tohko-san hands it to me. Shiki looks away telling me to do as I want. Looking at the information, Asagami Fujino was living in Nagano until elementary school. Her last name there is not Asagami as in "shallow top" but Asagami as in "shallow God". Her father right now is not her real father, meaning that she followed her mother when she remarried. I guess this would be the place to start my investigation.

"I have to travel a bit far. I might not come back today or tomorrow. Oh, and Tohko-san. Is there really such a thing as supernatural powers?"

"You don't believe what Minato Keita said? Asagami Fujino surely has some sort of power in that category. That. The term supernatural power is too broad so it's not that accurate. If you want to know about it, I can introduce you to a specialist."

Saying that, Tohko-san writes the address of this supernatural power-specialist on the back of her business card.

"Wait, you don't know much about it?"

"Of course not. Magic is a study. How can we associate ourselves with something inherent without history or theory violating the rule? Those kind of powers only given to the chosen ones are what I hate the most."

She really must hate it as she sounds like she has her glasses on. I take her business card and then speak to Shiki.

"Shiki, I'm going but make sure you don't push yourself."

"You're the one pushing yourself. I guess it really is true that stupidity can't be fixed."

Shiki uses offensive words like that but then nods saying she'll try. I leave the office with relief. It's all right, I've never died but I was almost killed once. I haven't told her that the one which almost killed me is Shiki herself. It's because she forgot about that incident after she recovered from her coma. It's fine if she does not remember. I will probably never tell her about it.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 07

2007-02-23T00:05:38Z

Bored tenshi:

3

In the early morning on July 23, I finally get to Minato Keita's place. From the information from his friends, his average radius of action, and his way of thinking, I was finally able to narrow down his hiding place after a whole day. In one of the mansions located far from the residential district... he is trespassing and staying in a room on the sixth floor. I ring the doorbell and call out in a semi-loud voice.

"Keita-kun. I came to help you on request from your Senpai. I'm coming in."

The door is not locked so I enter quietly. There is no light on inside the room and it's dark in here even though it is morning. I walk through the wooden hallway and reach the living room. From the empty living room, you can see the kitchen and the bedroom.

"You're in the back, right? I'm coming in."

There is another room beside the bedroom. I open the door to that room and find it's pitch black inside. It is because all the curtains are down. A small scream comes out when I open the door. ... Like I thought, there's nothing in the room. A room without furniture is just like a box, there is no sign of life. In this room is a boy who looks to be about 16, trash from food, and a cell phone.

"You are Minato Keita-kun, right? It's unhealthy for you to stay in here. And it's wrong to use this room even when nobody is using it. This can be treated as burglary, you know?"

When I enter the room, Keita backs up to the wall. ... His face is terribly thin and worn-out. It's only been three days since that incident but his cheeks are hollow and his eyes are red. It's obvious he has not slept. I heard that he was doing drugs, but that's wrong. He is going insane without the help of drugs. ... He just doesn't want to face reality after seeing such a tragic scene. He is barely maintaining his sanity by staying in this dark room. It's a really dangerous way for him to defend himself, but it might be useful at least for a few days. I let out a sigh of relief in my head since I made it in time.

"...... Who are you?"

There is still a bit of intelligence left in his voice. I stop. He is still confused after facing such a tragedy. He might be scared of the killer, so who knows what he would do if I get close. Doubt will make him think I am his enemy. But... it should be different if we can talk. If we talk, his intelligence should return. I decide to stand and talk instead of trying to calm him down near him.

"Who are you?"

I raise both my hands at his question.

"I'm a friend of Gakuto. I am a Senpai too. I'm Kokutoh Mikiya, do you remember me?"

"Kokutoh...... Senpai?"

I must have been an unexpected visitor for him. He stands dumbfounded for a second and then starts to cry.

"Senpai. Why would you come for me?"

"I came to protect you since Gakuto came and asked me. We're worried that you're in some kind of trouble."

I ask him if I could get near him and Keita shakes his head violently.

"I won't get out of here. I'll be killed if I do."

"You'll be killed if you stay in here too."

Keita widens his eyes. He glares at me with enmity. I take a cigarette out and light it. ... I don't smoke but it's a useful gesture to make you seem relaxed and helps the other person calm down.

"I heard about it. You know the killer, right Keita-kun?"

I ask him while blowing out the smoke, but he still stays quiet.

"Then I'll just talk to myself for a while. On the night of the 20th, you guys were at your hangout place, the Shinkirou Bar. It was raining that night. I also happened to be out drinking that night, but I guess that doesn't matter. I heard a lot of stories since Gakuto asked me to look for you. I think I know what you guys were doing on the night of the incident. I think the cops don't know about it yet. Those people prefer not to help the cops."

I shrug saying its troublesome. Keita is showing a different kind of fear now. It's not fear of what is going to happen, but fear of being found out what he's done.

"On the night of the incident, there was one other person beside you guys. The high school girl you guys were threatening. I don't know her name but someone saw her going down to the bar. That girl has not showed up at the police station, or anywhere for that matter, since that incident. But it's not like her corpse was found like the other four. Do you know what happened to her?"

"I don't know... I don't know such a person."

"Then that would make you the killer. I'll go call the police."

"Wait, I didn't do that...! There's no way I could do such a thing..."

"Yeah, I feel the same way. So the girl was really there?"

After a brief silence, Keita nods.

"But that brings another question. That incident is not something a girl can accomplish by herself. Were you guys drugged?"

The boy shakes his head. Not to the question that the girl is the killer, but to the question of if they were insane or not.

"It's impossible for five guys to be taken by just one girl."

"But that's the truth...! I thought she was weird from the start, but she was mad! Monster... she was a monster!"

He starts to tremble and covers his face with his hands, I guess he is recalling the incident.

"She was just standing there and everyone started to twist up. I heard their bones breaking and I didn't know what the hell was going on. ... After she killed two of us, I knew Fujino wasn't normal, I knew that I'd be killed if I stayed there!"

Keita's words are certainly abnormal. He is saying the girl... the one called Fujino tore off everyone's limbs just by standing there and staring at them. I don't know why he thinks so, but I guess Keita felt it immediately ... the difference between the one doing the killing and the ones getting killed. But... she bends stuff just by looking at it? I couldn't quite believe it but I take the fact in. What can I deny after knowing Shiki, the one with killer eyes, and Tohko-san, the magus? Well, leaving that aside, there's one word that caught my attention.

"All right. I'll believe that this Fujino girl did it."

"......... Huh?"

Keita raises his head in surprise.

"But... that's a lie. No one would believe such a story! Please, tell me you're telling a lie!"

"Then let's just assume it's a trick. Or should I say hypnosis or something? Either way, don't think too hard about it. Don't try to accept what you really don't understand. But... what do you mean she was weird from the start?"

It seems Keita is regaining his sanity. The tension in him starts to fade away.

"It's just she's... weird. It seems like she's acting out everything, like her reactions are always late. She won't change her expression even when Leader threatens her. She won't change even when she's drugged and she doesn't even show pain when being punched."

"...... I see."

I knew they were violating Fujino but when he comes out and says that, I'm speechless. That girl called Fujino was violated by them for half a year and killed them as revenge. Is there justice in that or does what's just and what's lawful contradict in this situation? Well, I don't want to think about it right now.

"So she looked great but it wasn't fun doing her. It felt like doing a doll. Oh yeah, but that time was different. It's recent but there was this messed up guy in our group. He found her fun because she wouldn't change her expression no matter how much he punched her, so he finally brought out a bat and smacked her across her back. She was like WHACK! and smacked away. She did make a painful face. I felt a bit relieved cause I knew she was feeling pain too. I remember it 'cause she was human-like that night."

"You, shut up for a while."

Keita shuts his mouth. I don't think I can keep my composure if I hear any more of this.

"I get the situation. I know someone in the police so we can go there. That's about the second safest place I know."

I get near him to make him stand up, but Keita jumps back.

"No, I won't go to the cops. Besides... I'll be killed if go out. I'd rather stay here if I'm going to get torn to pieces!"

"Killed if you go out...?"

It's worded a bit strangely. It seems there's still one big misunderstanding between us. ... I can understand him saying that he'll be found if he goes out. But it's strange for him to skip that and say he's going to get killed. That's like he's being... watched. Then I finally realize what the cell phone by his feet means.

"...... You're getting calls from Asagami Fujino."

Keita starts to tremble once again at those words.

"Does she know of this place yet?"

The boy answers that he doesn't know.

"I had Leader's cell phone when I ran away. She called me after everyone was killed. She said she's going to look for me no matter what! So I have to hide!"

"Why do you still have that cell phone?"

I know the answer but I still ask.

"Because she says she's going to kill me if I get rid of it! She says I should hang on to it if I don't wanna die! She says she's gonna let me go as long as I have this!"

...... What a thing... Her curse is so strong.

"But she still calls me every night. ... She's insane. She saw Shono two days ago, Kouhei yesterday... she said she killed them because they didn't know where I was. And she said kindly that it was good for me! She tells me I should go see her if I don't want my friends killed, no way I can do that!!"

... What kind of fear would that be? The phone call he receives every night are a messages from the one trying to kill him.
... I could not find you today.
One of your friends died in your place.
Come see me if you don't want them killed.
You don't have to come, but this murder will continue...
... and I will eventually find you...

"What should I do? I don't wanna die. I don't want to die like that! They were crying in pain! They were coughing up blood and their necks were twisted like nothing!"

"Let's get rid of that phone. Or there will be more victims."

"Don't you get it!? I'm saying I'll get killed if I do that!"

Two innocent people were killed because of that.
Asagami Fujino had to commit two meaningless murders because of that.

"You'll be killed anyway if you stay like this."

I push my cigarette on the ground and start to walk towards him. I forcefully pull on his arm.

"Senpai, please don't do this. I can't do anything now. Please leave me alone... leave me alone...... no, really, I'm scared. I don't wanna be by myself anymore. Please help me...!"

I nod.

"I'll help you. I won't go to the cops. I'll take you to the safest place I know."

The only place that will be able to take him in would be Tohko-san's place. Believing that is the best option, I leave the mansion with Keita.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 07

2007-02-22T04:56:11Z

Bored tenshi:

3

In the early morning on July 23, I finally get to Minato Keita's place. From the information from his friends, his average radius of action, and his way of thinking, I was finally able to narrow down his hiding place after a whole day. In one of the mansions located far from the residential district... he is trespassing and staying in a room on the sixth floor. I ring the doorbell and call out in a semi-loud voice.

"Keita-kun. I came to help you on request from your Senpai. I'm coming in."

The door is not locked so I enter quietly. There is no light on inside the room and it's dark in here even though it is morning. I walk through the wooden hallway and reach the living room. From the empty living room, you can see the kitchen and the bedroom.

"You're in the back, right? I'm coming in."

There is another room beside the bedroom. I open the door to that room and find it's pitch black inside. It is because all the curtains are down. A small scream comes out when I open the door. ... Like I thought, there's nothing in the room. A room without furniture is just like a box, there is no sign of life. In this room is a boy who looks to be about 16, trash from food, and a cell phone.

"You are Minato Keita-kun, right? It's unhealthy for you to stay in here. And it's wrong to use a room even when nobody is using it. This can be treated as burglary, you know?"

When I enter the room, Keita backs up to the wall. ... His face is terribly thin and worn-out. It's only been three days since that incident but his cheeks are hollow and his eyes are red. It's obvious he has not slept. I heard that he was doing drugs, but that's wrong. He is going insane without the help of drugs. ... He just doesn't want to face reality after seeing such a tragic scene. He is barely maintaining his sanity by staying in this dark room. It's a really dangerous way for him to defend himself, but it might be useful at least for a few days. I let out a sigh of relief n my head as I have made it in time.

"...... Who are you?"

There is still a bit of intelligence left in his voice. I stop. He is still confused facing such a tragedy. He might be scared of the killer, so who knows what he would do if I get close. Doubt will make him think I am his enemy. But... it should be different if we can talk. If we talk, his intelligence should return. I decide to stand and talk instead of trying to calm him down near him.

"Who are you?"

I raise both my hands at his question.

"I'm a friend of Gakuto. I am a Senpai too. I'm Kokutoh Mikiya, do you remember me?"

"Kokutoh...... Senpai?"

I must have been an unexpected visitor for him. He stands dumbfounded for a second and then starts to cry.

"Senpai. Why would you come for me?"

"I came to protect you since Gakuto came and asked me. We're worried that you're in some kind of trouble."

I ask him if I could get near him and Keita shakes his head violently.

"I won't get out of here. I'll be killed if I do."

"You'll be killed if you stay in here too."

Keita widens his eyes. He glares at me with enemity. I take a cigarette out and light it. ... I don't smoke but it's an useful gesture to make you seem relaxed and helps calm down the other person.

"I heard about it. You know the killer, right Keita-kun?"

I ask him while blowing out the smoke, but he only stays quiet.

"Then I'll just talk to myself for a while. On the night of the 20th, you guys were at your hangout place, Bar Shinkirou. It was raining that night. I happened to be out drinking too at that time, but I guess that doesn't matter. I heard a lot of stories since Gakuto asked me to look for you. I think I know what you guys were doing on the night of the incident. I think the cops don't know about it yet. Those people prefer not to help the cops."

I shrug saying its troublesome. Keita is showing a different kind of fear now. It's not fear of what is going to happen, but fear of being found out what he's done.

"On the night of the incident, there was one other person beside you guys. The high school girl you guys were threatening. I don't know her name but someone saw her going down to the bar. That girl has not showed up at the police station or anywhere for that matter since that incident. But it's not like her corpse is found like the other four. Do you know what happened to her?"

"I don't know... I don't know such a person."

"Then that would make you the killer. I'll go call the police."

"Wait, I didn't do that...! There's no way I could do such a thing..."

"Yeah, I feel the same way. So the girl was really there?"

After a brief silence, Keita nods.

"But that brings another question. That incident is not something a girl can accomplish by herself. Were you guys drugged?"

The boy shakes his head. Not to the question that the girl is the killer, but to the question of if they were insane or not.

"It's impossible for five guys to be taken by just one girl."

"But that's the truth...! I thought she was weird from the start, but she was mad! Monster... she was a monster!"

I guess he is recalling the incident as he starts to tremble and covers his face with his hands.

"She was just standing there and everyone started to twist off. I heard their bones breaking and I didn't know what the hell was going on. ... I knew it when she killed two of us, I knew Fujino isn't normal, that I'll be killed if I stay there!"

Keita's words are certainly abnormal. He is saying the girl... the one called Fujino tore off everyone's limbs just by standing there and staring at them. I don't know why he thinks so, but I guess Keita felt it on the spot... the difference of the one doing the killing and the ones getting killed. But... she bends stuff just by looking? I couldn't quite believe it but I take the fact in. What can I deny after knowing Shiki, the one with killer eyes, and Tohko-san, the magus? Well, leaving that aside, there's one word that caught my attention.

"All right. I'll believe that this Fujino girl did it."

"......... Huh?"

Keita raises his head in surprize.

"But... that's a lie. No one would believe such a story! Please, tell me you're telling a lie!"

"Then let's just assume it's a trick. Or should I say hypnosis or something? Either way, don't think too hard about it. Don't try to accept what you really don't understand. But... what do you mean she was weird from the start?"

It seems Keita is losing his madness. The tension in him starts to fade away.

"It's just she's... weird. It seems like she's acting out everything, like her reactions are always late. She won't change her expression even when Leader threatens her. She won't change even when she's drugged and she doesn't even show pain when being punched."

"...... I see."

I knew they were violating Fujino but when he comes out and says that, I'm speechless. That girl called Fujino was violated for half a year by them and killed them as revenge. Is there justice in that or does justice and law not get along? Well, I don't want to think about it right now.

"So she looked great but it wasn't fun doing her. It felt like doing a doll. Oh yeah, but that time was different. It's recent but there was this messed up guy in our group. He found her fun because she wouldn't change her expression no matter how much he punched her, so he finally brought out a bat and smacked her across her back. She was like WHACK! and smacked away. She did make a painful face. I felt a bit relieved cause I knew she was feeling pain too. I remember cause she was human-like that night."

"You, shut up for a while."

Keita shuts his mouth. I don't know if I can keep my composure if I hear any more of this.

"I get the situation. I know someone in the police so we can go there. That's about the second safest place I know."

I near him to make him stand up, but Keita jumps back.

"No, I won't go to the cops. Besides... I'll be killed if go out. I'd rather stay here if I'm going to get torn to pieces!"

"Killed if you go out...?"

It's worded a bit strangely. It seems there's still one big misunderstanding between us. ... I can understand him saying that he'll be found if he goes out. But it's strange for him to skip that and say he's going to get killed. That's like he's being... watched. Then I finally realize what the cell phone by his feet means.

"...... You're getting calls from Asagami Fujino."

Keita starts to tremble once again at those words.

"Does she know of this place yet?"

The boy answers that he doesn't know.

"I had Leader's cell phone when I ran away. She called me after everyone was killed. She said she's going to look for me no matter what! So I have to hide!"

"Why do you still have that cell phone?"

I know the answer but I still ask.

"Because she says she's going to kill me if I get rid of it! She says I should hang on to it if I don't wanna die! She says she's gonna let me go as long as I have this!"

...... What a thing... Her curse is so strong.

"But she still calls me every night. ... She's insane. She saw Shono two days ago, Kouhei yesterday... she said she killed them because they didn't know where I was. And she said kindly that it was good for me! She tells me I should go see her if I want my friends not killed, no way I can do that!!"

... What kind of fear would that be? The phone call he receives every night is a message from the one trying to kill him.
... I could not find you today.
One of your friends died in your place.
Come see me if you don't want them killed.
You don't have to come, but this murder will continue...
... and I will eventually find you...

"What should I do? I don't wanna die. I don't want to die like that! They were crying in pain! They were coughing up blood and their necks were twisted like nothing!"

"Let's get rid of that phone. Or there will be more victims."

"Don't you get it!? I'm saying I'll get killed if I do that!"

Two innocent people were killed because of that.
Asagami Fujino had to commit two meaningless murders because of that.

"You'll be killed anyway if you stay like this."

I push my cigarette on the ground and start to walk towards him. I forcefully pull on his arm.

"Senpai, please don't do this. I can't do anything now. Please leave me alone... leave me alone...... no, really, I'm scared. I don't wanna be by myself anymore. Please help me...!"

I nod.

"I'll help you. I won't go to the cops. I'll take you to the safest place I know."

The only place that will be able to take him in would be Tohko-san's place. Believing that is the best option, I leave the mansion with Keita.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 06

2007-02-20T05:19:07Z

Bored tenshi:

/3

After parting with Azaka, I return to my place. When night comes, I go out into town. There were 5 people killed so far. 4 of them were in that basement bar two days ago. According to Tohko, another one at a construction site yesterday night. Aside from the 4 killed two days ago, I do not see any relevance to the one killed last night. But I cannot say it is a total stranger. Mikiya once said that ones that hang around at night have many connections. Maybe there is a high probability that the 4 and the one killed last night are connected.

"That girl..."

I suddenly recall the girl that was with Azaka. ...... The feeling of death that is planted around her like capillary. Since I am not used to my eyes yet, I saw it without any preparation. ... That was abnormal. It might be more abnormal than me. But that girl was normal. She smelled of blood, and she had eyes like me that seem like she did not know which boundary she is standing on. She must be my prey for sure, but I still cannot be confident in myself. It is because that girl has no cause. She has no reason to kill for pleasure like I do, no darkness that takes pleasure in murder.

Take pleasure in murder... What would Kokutoh Mikiya think if he hears that? Would he scold me, telling me that murder is bad?

"Idiot."

I do not really know if that word is directed at him or me. Kokutoh Mikiya said I have not changed from before. I guess I am no different than I was before I went into that coma. Then, did I always take walks at night? ... Was i always like an abnormal person that searches for someone to kill?

".........."

No, that's wrong. Shiki did not have such a taste. She did, but it was not prioritized. Then this is SHIKI's sensibility. Of the man Ryohgi SHIKI, the yin, inside the woman Ryohgi Shiki, the yang. I wonder at my conclusion. I used to have him inside of me, but he is not anymore. Not being there must mean that he is dead. Then......... this will of wanting to kill can only be mine. As Tohko said, this job is just for me. Because I am certainly happy about being able to kill someone.

...... It's almost midnight.
I take the train and arrive at a station I rarely visit.
From this always-awake noisy town,
I can see a big port in the distance.

---

After I part with Azaka, I change my destination. I do not know where the last one would run to, but I think there is a way to search for him. The only ones directly involved with me were the four that I killed and the one that escaped, but I was taken to many places by them. If I go there and ask where the last one went, I should be able to find where he escaped to. Since they cannot trust the police or the school, the only ones they can depend on should be their kind. I hold my burning stomach as I walk through the night town. I had some resistance about going into indecent places, but it is trivial to me as I am more tormented by the pain and my memories of being violated.

At my third place, I meet a guy that says he is a friend of Minato Keita. He was working at at a big building made into a big karaoke place, and gives me an unpleasant smile as he agrees to talk with me for a while. He sneaks out of his work and starts to walk telling me we should go to a quiet place to talk. ... From the long experience I had, I can tell this man is taking me to their hangout place. These people can smell out weak people. This person with a good put-on smile must have seen through me as an easy victim to violate. ... He probably knows I was violated by Minato Keita's group too. That is why he takes me without any concern. Even though I know that, I still did not refuse to follow him. This man that is a few years older than me heads to a quieter area. I hold my stomach as it starts to hurt even more, and I prepare myself.

...... The time is almost midnight.
I walk with this man as I curse the repeated violations in my head.
From this always-awake noisy town,
I can see a big port in the distance.

---

The man is feeling his own luckiness. He knew from the boasting Keita that Keita's group is playing around with this girl from a all-girl school. It is because it's Keita's habit to do as he wanted to that girl and then brag about it. To this man, it had nothing to do with him. He does not have a big connection with Keita's group, and they were from different areas. That's why he always listened to Keita's story without concern. But for that girl to actually come to him!!

You have to take what is given to you. The man decides to get out of work and take Fujino somewhere. ... It's not that the man is hungry for sex. It's not an unusual event for people like him to rape a girl with four or five guys. There is a reason why this man does not call for his friends. It is because Fujino is the daughter of the Asagami Construction. He should be able to get lots of money if he violated her and threatened that he would make the matter public. The group Keita is in is rather stupid when it comes to such matters. Maybe because their leader is not that smart. Or is it that they did not need money because they were smart? Well, it does not matter. Either way, the man is happy right now. He did not contact his friends because he thinks that he will get the largest pay if he does not share it.

The girl who came to ask about Minato Keita... Asagami Fujino is following him silently. It will be bad taking her to the usual hangout place. The man heads to the warehouse area of the port. Since it's almost midnight, the warehouse area is empty. As all warehouses are made the same way and arranged the same way, it seems like a giant factory. There aren't many streetlights and nobody should come if he goes in between the warehouses. The only things that will be irritating would be the sound of waves and the lights from Broad Bridge currently under construction on the other side of the water. Bringing Fujino into such darkness, the man finally opens his mouth.

"This should be fine. So, what did you want to ask about?"

The man decides to answer her question first. It is his aesthetic that it's not smart to attack from the start.

"Yes, would you happen to know where Keita-san is?"

Fujino is looking down while holding her stomach. The man cannot see her face with her cleanly-cut hair in front of her.

"I haven't seen him lately. He doesn't even have his own place so he's been going around people's places. You won't be able to contact him either, cause he doesn't have a cell phone."

"No...... I can contact him."

"Huh?"

This girl's words are strange. She can contact him but doesn't know where he is? Has this girl gone crazy from being raped too much? Well, if that's the case, it should make things easier but it's also true that the man is let down somewhat. The man calms down again.

"All right. If you can contact him, then just ask where he is."

"Well..... Keita-san does not want to tell me where he is hiding. That is why I am going around asking his friends. Please answer me... I do not care if you know or do not know."

"Whoa, wait a sec. What do you mean he's hiding? Did he get into some deep shit?"

The man gets irritated by the girls strange words. He's hiding... does that mean that the cops know about them raping Fujino? No, if that's the case, she wouldn't come herself. The man thinks, but cannot come up with an answer, because...
... Because he has not seen the news.

"Well, who cares. But what do you mean you don't care if I know or not? Was that your intention to begin with? Keita's not your intention, but you came to find a new man or something?!"

The man laughs from his heart this time - "I really am in luck, I should be able to get the money without even threatening." And besides, Asagami Fujino is a beautiful girl that he would not easily obtain. He will be able to obtain prize of money and beauty. What else can you call this but luck?

"Sorry, I should have took you to my place from the start then. Or you like this kinda place better, perhaps?"

The girl in the black uniform nods.

"But before that, please tell me if you know where Keita-san is."

"Hey dumbass, you can quit your excuse for coming here. First of all, I wouldn't know where he would go."

The girl looks up with a satisfied expression. The eyes looking at the man are abnormal. There is no emotion in those amber eyes that light up the spiral.

...... It is not normal....

"......?"

The man, oblivious to those eyes, encounters something strange. His arm is moving on its own! His joint bends. His elbow bends to about 90 degrees, and it keeps bending...
... And it finally breaks.

"W-what......!?"

A stupid scream. The fate of the man ends here. Certainly, he did have luck. Bad luck is luck indeed.

In a dark alley not even lit up by the moonlight, a tragedy raises its curtains.

---

".........!!"

The scream only becomes a beast-like groan. The man's arms are no longer recognizable as arms. It's like a puzzle ring... or a rubber band twisted around to make a model airplane fly. ... Either way, they could not function as human arms anymore.

"H-h-help...!"

The man runs away from the girl who is only standing in front of him. In that instant, his body floats and his right leg is torn off from his knee. Blood splashes as if emptying a full bucket. The blood that sprays along the wall seems like some sort of painting. Asagami Fujino keeps watching with her emotionless eyes.

"I-i-it's twi... twist-t-t-t-t-ed...!!!"

His words are incomprehensible. Fujino decides to ignore them.

...... She murmurs, "Bend."

That is the same word she has been saying all this time. Her friend has told her that a repeated word can become a curse. The man is on the ground, only moving his neck. Both his hands are twisted and his right leg is gone. The blood from his leg is soaking the ground. Fujino steps into it thinking that it's like a red carpet. Her shoes sink into the red liquid. The summer night is hot and the humid air sticks to her skin and becomes annoying. The blood in the air had a similar feeling.

"........ *Sigh*"

As she looks down at the man squirming like a green caterpillar, Fujino sighs. She hates herself for doing such a thing. But she also thinks this is what she intended to do from the start. She knew from the way he acted that this man did not know what happened in that basement bar. But he will find out in time. Then, he will grow suspicious of Fujino for searching Keita. So this is something that cannot be helped. This man intended to do that from the start. This will be indirect, but this is part of Asagami Fujino's revenge. Only a revenge to those who violated her. It's just that her ability to violate far surpassed their ability to violate.

"I am sorry.... but I have to do this."

The man's remaining left leg is torn off. And that causes the remaining life in him to be cut off as well. Fujino looks down at the convulsing body. Right now she knows how the man feels. Until now, she did not know. She could not understand people's reaction to pain. But now that she knows pain, she can strongly sympathize with this man. That makes her happy. To be alive means to get hurt.

"And finally... I can be normal."

My pain, other's pain. I am the one who made him this way. I am the one that gave him these wounds. It means Asagami Fujino is superior. This is what it means to be alive, having this ugly self that cannot feel the pleasure of life unless committing such atrocities.

"..... Mother. Am I so ugly that I have to go this far?"

The thing in her stomach becomes unbearable. Her heart starts to beat rapidly. A chill runs up her spine...

"I do not want to kill people..."

"You're wrong."

Fujino turns around to the sudden voice. At the entrance of the alley between the warehouses, a girl in a kimono stands, with the port reflecting the quiet moonlight behind her...

... Ryohgi Shiki is there...

"Shiki......... san?"

"Asagami Fujino... I see, you must have connection with the Asagami God."

With a light footstep, Shiki takes a step forward. Shiki narrows her eyes at the smell of blood. Not from detest, but from happiness.

"Since when...."

Fujino stops her question. The answer is obvious.

"All this time. I followed you since you brought that piece of meat out here."

Fujino feels a chill at her cold voice. Shiki has seen it all. She saw it, but she still came out. She saw it, but did not stop it. She knew this was going to happen, but just watched...

...... This person is abnormal......

"Please do not say piece of meat. This is a person. This is a human corpse."

Fujino argues so in spite of what she is thinking about. It is because she feels Shiki is saying too much to call that man a piece of meat. Shiki nods.

"Yeah, a human is still a human even when it's dead. It doesn't become a piece of meat just by dying. But that's not a human death, is it? Humans don't die that way."

Shiki takes another step forward.

"A human who did not end his life like a human is not human anymore. Even if the people you've killed are left with their head intact or their body unwounded, you can't think of it as being normal. Those removed from the boundary are deprived of all their meanings. That's why that thing is just a piece of meat."

Suddenly, Fujino feels a repulsion against this person. Shiki is saying that the corpse and I are out of the ordinary, just like Ryohgi Shiki, who is watching this tragedy right now without a change of expression.

"...... No. I am sane. I am not like you!'

Fujino screams out for no reason. Shiki laughs, like it is really funny.

"We are alike, Asagami."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Fujino stares at Shiki. The vision in her eyes starts to distort. ... The "power" she has as a child is used.

But the power suddenly fades away.

".........!?"

But the surprise is for both Shiki and Fujino. Asagami Fujino is surprised at her disappeared power. Ryohgi Shiki is surprised at the suddenly changed Asagami Fujino.

"Again...? What the hell is up with you?"

Shiki gets angry. She scratches her head like everything is ruined.

"I would have killed you if you stayed that way. You were like that too at the cafe. ... Fine. You let me down. I don't care about you now."

Saying that, Shiki turns and walks away. The sound of her footsteps gets farther away.

"Go home. If you do so, we shouldn't see each other again."

Then her figure disappears. Fujino stands still in the pool of blood.

...... I'm back to my previous self. I feel nothing again.

Fujino looks down at the man once more. There is no remnant of the feeling that was in her before. Only the sense of guilt comes into her brain. What's left are the words Shiki left. Those words saying that Fujino and Shiki are both alike, both killers.

"No....... I am not like you."

Fujino murmurs as if crying. Truthfully, Fujino hates murder. She starts to tremble at the thought that she would have to continue such an act in order to find Minato Keita. Because killing people would be unforgivable. That is her true feeling.

... The pool of blood reflecting her face shows her mouth making a smile...

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 05

2007-02-16T04:41:15Z

Bored tenshi:

/2

The phone starts to ring. It stops ringing after five times and switches to the answering machine. After a beep noise, I hear a familiar voice come from the answering machine.

"Good morning Shiki. Can you do me a favor? I'm supposed to meet Azaka at a cafe called Ahnenerbe near the station at noon but I don't think I can make it. You have nothing to do, right? Can you go there and tell her I can't come?"

The caller hangs up. ... I move my tired body and look at the clock by the bed... July 22, 7:23AM. It's only been about four hours since I came home. My body is still wanting sleep, maybe because I've been walking around town until three in the morning after accepting Tohko's job. I pull up my sheets. The summer heat does not really matter for me. I was able to tolerate hot and cold weather rather well as a kid and it still seems that way now. As I lay there for a while, the phone rings again. It switches to the answering machine and this time, I hear a voice I'd rather not hear.

"It's me. Did you see the news? You didn't see it, right? You don't have to see it. I didn't see it either."

... I always thought so, but now I'm confident. The way she thinks is far from the way I think. One should not understand the real meaning behind Tohko's words.

"There were three deaths last night. Another one of those suicides jumping off a building and two, a crime from passion. None of these are in the news so I'm guessing they were all treated as accidents. But there's one strange case. If you want to know more, come to my place. Actually, you don't have to. Come to think of it, this will do. All right... I'll put it simply so even you would understand with that sleepy head of yours, there was just another victim."

The caller hangs up. I get pissed off. It has nothing to do with me even if there's another victim. Even the things around me are uncertain, so such a thing is useless information for me. Death of someone I don't even know about is less impressive than the sunlight hitting me right now.

I finally get up when the weariness in me goes away. I make breakfast the same way the previous Shiki done it in her 16 years of life. I eat it and get ready to go outside. I put on a simple orange kimono today. Since I'll be walking around town, this is what I prefer. ...... Even my choice of cloth is only a habit from the past. I bite my tongue at the feeling I get like I'm looking at someone else from outside. Two years ago, when Ryohgi Shiki was still 17, I wasn't like this. It's not that the two years of coma changed me. ... The empty two years brought me something else. It feels like I am not moving out of my own will. I always get this feeling that the strings called "16 years as Ryohgi Shiki" are moving me like a puppet. But it has to be just my feelings. No matter how much I curse at myself for being empty and fictitious, in the end, I am moving out of my own will. It is impossible for anything other than me to interfere with that.

When I finish changing, the time is almost eleven. I repeat the first message on the answering machine. The voice I have heard many times in the past repeats itself. The voice that was lost in the air is recorded like this.

... Kokutoh Mikiya

The last person I saw two years ago...

The classmate that saw me let my guard down two years ago...

I know my past with him, but only the vision of our last moment is not there. No, the memory of the year since I got to know him is full of holes. Many important parts are missing. Why Shiki got in that accident.... Why she was looking at Mikiya's face at that moment... It would be really handy if the forgotten memories were recorded somewhere. I am concerned about the missing memories and it is causing me not to be able to talk to Mikiya naturally.

... The answering machine stops. It's strange why my worries go away a bit when I hear his voice. It makes me feel like I have a firm foundation, but there's no way something like a voice could be a foundation. That should be an illusion too. It probably is an illusion. The only reality I can feel now is the burning excitement I get when I kill people.

---

Ahnenerbe turns out to be an antique cafe. I check the name written in German and go inside. It's past noon but there aren't many customers inside. I don't know how they built it but it is dark inside. Only the tables near the door are lit and the back of the cafe, the counters, is rather dark. The only light is coming through the four square windows on the wall. The tables by those windows are also lit, as if cut out of the darkness. Maybe it's because of the strong sunlight but the contrast feels rather majestic. Kokutoh Azaka is sitting at the table in the very back. Two girls in a western-style uniform are waiting for Mikiya side by side.

"Two...?"

That's not what I heard. According to Mikiya, only Azaka should be waiting. I didn't hear about this other girl. I look at them as I walk towards them. They both have long straight black hair. They have similar features and they are beautiful, fit for students at a Ladies Academy. Even though the impressions are totally the opposite. Azaka has firm eyes and has the strength to face anything. You can't hide her strength even with her lady-like attitude. Mikiya was liked because of his personal charm, but Azaka would be the one that would be admired because of her strictness. The girl next to Azaka looks rather weak. Her posture looks firm and graceful but she has this feeling that she might break down any second.

"Azaka."

I come close to their table and call out. Azaka looks at me and frowns.

"Ryohgi... Shiki."

The voice is filled with enmity. She doesn't even try to hide it. Her Lady-like feeling is just like her disguise.

"I am waiting for Nii-san. I have nothing to do with you."

Azaka says so, staying calm.

"I have a message from that Nii-san of yours. He said he can't make it. He ditched you."

Azaka gasps. Maybe because the fact that he could not come is a big shock, or maybe because I was the one to come tell her that.

"Shiki, it must be your doing...!"

Azaka trembles her fist. I guess she's shocked that I came.

"Don't be stupid. I'm a victim too. He just selfishly told me to tell you that he can't make it."

Azaka looks at me with flame in her eyes. The girl next to her tries to calm Azaka as she might start throwing things if she wasn't calmed down.

"Kokutoh-san, everyone's surprised."

A thin voice. I step back.

"...... You're right, today was supposed to be for you. Sorry Fujino, it was wrong for me to get angry."

Azaka apologizes to the girl called Fujino. I look at the calm-looking girl. She is looking at me too.

"Does it...... not hurt?"

I say so unconsciously. The girl does not answer but just stares at me. Showing no interest, like watching a scenery, and inorganic like a bug. I now have two convictions in me. The intuition that this girl is my enemy and the actual feeling that she cannot be.

"... No, it can't be you."

In the end, I decide to trust my feeling. There is no way this girl, Fujino, would be able to enjoy murder. There is no reason for her to. No, first of all, it's impossible for her thin arms to tear off things like human limbs. It would be a different story if she has abnormal eyes like me... I quickly lose interest in this girl and talk to Azaka.

"That's all. Do you have any messages for him?"

""Nii-san, please quickly break ties with such a woman.""

---

Azaka really leaves such a message.

""Nii-san, please quickly break ties with such a woman.""

Azaka said so seriously to a woman in kimono, the one called Shiki. I feel rather uneasy due to the tight air surrounding them. It feels like they have a knife aimed at each other's throat and looking for an opening to actually cut each other. I get timid within this tight air. Now, I can only pray that nothing will occur. Fortunately, they stop talking and the woman wearing the kimono leaves gracefully. I stare at her back as she leaves. Shiki spoke with a very masculine tone. I couldn't tell her age because of that, but maybe she's around my age. Her last name was Ryohgi... maybe it's ''that'' Ryohgi. Then her expensive looking kimono makes sense. I could see some worked out designs in her kimono. If she is of the Ryohgi, it's no surprise she would have her own kimono maker.

"...... She was a beautiful person."

Azaka nods to my murmur. I think she's amazing for answering honestly even when she hates that person.

"But she is just as scary. ... I don't like that person."

Azaka looks surprised. Her surprise is completely natural. Even I am surprised at this feeling. Because probably for the first time in my life, I feel repulsion toward someone.

"That's unexpected. I thought you were someone that wouldn't hate anybody, but I guess I'm wrong."

"Hate......?"

... Dislike is the same as hate? I never thought so. I just feel that I cannot get along with that person. I try closing my eyes. Ryohgi Shiki. Her ominous black hair, ominous white skin, and the ominous bottomless empty eyes. She was looking at me, so I looked back at her. That's why we saw what was hiding behind us. She only has blood. She kills from her own will. She tries to hurt others. ... That woman is a killer.

But I am different. I think I am different. Tt's because I have never wanted to do such a thing. In the darkness behind my closed eyes, I repeat this over and over. But her figure would not disappear. ... We have not talked even once, but her figure is engraved into my mind.

"I'm sorry Fujino. I ruined your day off."

I open my eyes to Azaka's words. I smile like I did in my practice.

"It's all right. I did not feel like it anyways."

"You do look pretty pale. It's hard to tell because you're pretty white to begin with."

I did not feel like it for another reason, but I nod at her words anyways. ... I know my body is not doing well by its reaction, but I did not notice that it is bad enough to show on my face.

"I guess it can't be helped. I'll ask Mikiya myself so do you want to go home for today?"

Azaka is worried about my health. I thank her.

"But is that message to your brother all right?"

"It's fine. I don't even know how many times I told him that anyways. He should be used to it. To tell you the truth, this a curse. Words that are repeated over and over can twist reality to lean towards that word. Really, a girlie curse. It's sad and pitiful."

I don't know how serious she is but she explains so. I'm used to her unexpectedness. I decide to listen quietly to Azaka's beautiful voice. ... She is always number one academically in our school and she even ranks in the top ten nationwide. Azaka is a bit strange and has this gentlemen-like side of her. Azaka is one of my friends from Reien Academy. Both of us entered that school from our high school. Since Reien is an "escalator" school from elementary school, it's rare for people to come starting from high school like us. We met because of that and are close enough that we even go out sometimes on weekends. Today, I was supposed to have her brother look for someone through Azaka.

I went to a local middle school and when I was there, a Senpai from a different school talked to me at an event. ... I was depressed recently, but I was saved by thinking about this Senpai. When I told Azaka about it, she said we should look for this person. It happens that her brother is also from this area and he knows a lot of people around here. She said he is really good at looking for people our age. ... It's not that I really wanted to see him, but we end up deciding to look for this person with me not being able to refuse the pushy Azaka. We were waiting for her brother today but it seems he cannot come today. ... I am relieved in a way.

I am not really into this whole thing because... I accidentally ran into him two days ago. At that time, I was able to say what I couldn't say three years ago. Since I have done what I wanted to do, there is no point in looking for this person anymore. Maybe Azaka's brother couldn't come because God knew I didn't need him anymore.

"Let's get going. It's hard to stay here over an hour buying just drinks."

Azaka gets up. Even though she should be sad about not being able to see her brother, she still gets up gracefully. Sometimes, she is really manly. Maybe because of the way she talks. Her formal tone disappears like just now and becomes cool like a man. It's not that she's disguising herself, but that's just a part of her. I really like this friend of mine. ...... That's why I shouldn't see her anymore.

"Azaka. Please go back to the dorm by yourself. I will be staying at my parents house tonight again."

"Really? That's fine but Sister will be glaring at you if you stay out too much. You should restrain yourself."

Waving her hand, Azaka leaves the cafe. Being alone, I take a glance at the sign. "Ahnenerbe": it means inheritance in German.

---

After Azaka leaves, I start walking aimlessly. It is a lie that I am going back to my parents' house. There is no place for me to go back to now. From that night two days ago, I have not even been to go to school. My father has probably been contacted already for unexcused absences. They will ask me what I was doing if I go back home. I am not good at telling lies so I might slip everything out. If that happens... father will contempt me.

I am my mother's child from her former marriage. Father only needed mother's house and land, so I was just something on the side since that time. That is why I worked hard not to be hated.
A faithful woman like my mother, a student my father can be proud of, a normal girl nobody would be suspicious of.........
...... I always wanted to be that way.

Not for someone else, but for myself. I always dreamed that and the dream has protected me. But it came to an end. Such magic is not around me no matter how much I look. I continue walking, the sun is starting to set. I walk past many irrelevant people and many stoplights which blink insensibly. People older than me, people younger than me, everyone looks so happy. My heart contracts in pain. I think of something and pinch my cheek. ...... I do not feel anything. I pinch harder. ............ Nothing. When I give up and let go, I notice that my fingertips are red. I guess I pinched hard enough that my nails dug into my skin. But I still feel nothing. I do not feel that I am alive.

"Fufu..."

I laugh thinking it's funny. Why does my heart feel pain when I myself do not feel any pain? First of all, what is heart? Is it my heart that's hurt or my brain? When the brain receives any words that are directed to attack an individual called Asagami Fujino, it creates a wound as protection. Since a wound lets a person know it hurts, whatever story I come up with is only a medicine that soothes the pain. That is why even though I cannot feel pain, I still understand pain in my heart. But that is probably just an illusion. Definitely an illusion. Real pain cannot be cured just by words. One quickly forgets a pain in their heart because it is so trivial. But a wound on your body gives you pain as long as the wound is there. That is a strong proof of life.

If my heart is my brain, then my brain should get a wound. Then I should be able to feel pain. Like my days up to now. If the memories of the days I was violated by those people became wounds...

..... I remember again their laughter and their scary faces. All those times I was violated and threatened. When that guy with the knife jumped on me, my stomach felt hot and the cloth around my stomach area was cut. When I thought I was going to get stabbed, I became violent. After I was done with them, I realized that the heat in my stomach is pain. My heart shrinks once more. "I won't forgive them." Those words repeat in my head over and over.

"Guh......"

My knee wobbles. It comes again. My stomach is burning. It feels like an invisible hand is grabbing inside of me.

I feel like vomiting. ......... I do not feel that way normally.
I feel dizzy. ......... I abruptly lose consciousness in this situation normally.
My arm is numb. ......... I confirm it is there by looking at it normally.
It really hurts. ......... Yes, I feel alive.

The place I was stabbed is starting to hurt. The pain of the already-healed wound breaks out unexpectedly like this. A long time ago, mother said that wounds will not hurt once they heal. But that is a lie. The wound made by that knife is still hurting me even after the wound has healed.

... But mother, I like this pain. For me who has never felt that I was alive, there is nothing else that makes me feel more alive than this sensation. This remaining sense of pain is not an illusion.

"I have to look for him quickly."

I murmur under my ragged breath. I have to get my revenge. I have to kill the boy that got away. It is irritating, but if I don't do so, people will find out that I am a murderer. I don't want that since I finally obtained the sense of pain. I want to keep on feeling the pleasure of feeling alive. I take my body that hurts every time I move it and start to walk toward their hangout place. I cry at the remaining sense of pain in my stomach. But right now, even that discomfort is lovely.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 04

2007-02-15T05:08:48Z

Bored tenshi:

2

After the incident with the unknown girl, I head to my workplace. There is no official name for the place where I work. It's specialty is doll-making, but most of the jobs we get are construction-related. The president, Aozaki Tohko, is a woman in her late twenties and she is a weirdo that would buy an abandoned building to make into her office. It means that this is not a company, but rather an extension of her hobby. There are many reasons why I decided to work here, but this is my daily life now. I have complaints but I have no troubles. I rather think I am fortunate. There are problems but they are all things I can bear.

... While I'm thinking, I arrive at the building. The building is four-stories high and the office is on the fourth floor. This building situated between the residential and the industrial district feels rather empty. It's not that tall, yet it puts pressure on the ones looking up to it. There are no elevators, so I go up the stairs.

When I enter the office, I see an unusual person within the usual junk scattered about. A girl with sharp eyes wearing a black kimono turns to me. ... The kimono has some fish pattern on it...

"Huh, Shiki? Why are you here at such a place?"

"Sorry this place is "such a place". This happens to be your workplace, Kokutoh."

Tohko-san, who is sitting behind Shiki glares at me. She is dressed plainly like always with a cigarette in her mouth. She is wearing black pants with a white shirt. She's wearing an earring in one of her ear. The color of course is orange. I don't know why, but she seems to have this habit of wearing one thing that is orange on her.

"But you sure are here early today. I told you there are no jobs for a while, so to show up around noon."

"No, I can't do that."

That's right. My wallet is not allowing me to do that. I feel rather uneasy when the only thing in my wallet are my train pass and a telephone card.

"By the way, why is Shiki here?"

"I called for her. I got something I need her for."

Shiki does not say anything but rubs her eyes sleepily. ... Was she walking around at night again? ... It's only been about a month since she recovered from her coma. For some reason, we are finding it rather uncomfortable to talk to each other. It seems Shiki does not want to talk so I sit down at my own desk. ...There's nothing to do, so I decide to talk. Fortunately, there is a topic handy.

"Tohko-san, did you see the news this morning?"

"You must mean the Broad Bridge. It's not like some foreign country, I don't think Japan needs that big of a bridge."

I pull back at her comment. What she is talking about is a big bridge that is about 800 meters long planned to finish construction next year. The town we live in is close to the port. If you drive for about 20 minutes, you can get to the port, but the shape itself is troublesome. To put it simply, there is another side of it. If you look at it on a map, it looks like a crescent moon and a long roundabout is forced if you want to get from the top to the bottom. The city's construction group teamed up with a big construction company and put into action what they said is the solution for public complaints. They are building a straight route across the tips of the crescent shape in the form of a bridge. ... Of course, most of the money to build this is coming from our taxes. I think it is a typical case of government saying they are solving public complaints which did not exist from the start, only resulting in more public complaints. The bridge is also to have museums, aquariums, big parking lots and such, and you can't tell if its a bridge or an amusement park. It was called Baybridge until recently but according to what Tohko-san is saying, I guess it's officially announced its name as Broad Bridge. Both Tohko-san and I do not like the idea of this bridge.

"But Tohko-san, even though you hate the idea, you already have a space in there for your gallery."

"It's not under my will. A person I knew just gave me that space as a pay. I can just sell it off but since I have some relationship with the Asagami construction company, I can't just do that. Geez, a place that won't make me money is worthless."

From the way she's talking, she seems to be having trouble with money. I get a really bad feeling.

"Um, I don't want to say this so bluntly, but can I have my pay?"

"Kokutoh, about that... unfortunately, I don't have any money. It's an unfortunate thing but I'll have to pay you all next month."

Tohko-san declares so calmly. She sounds like I'm the bad guy instead.

"Wait a minute! You had 1.12 million yen in the bank yesterday! How could you say it's all gone!?"

Tohko-san replies, while rocking on her chair, that it's because she used it all. Shiki is looking at Tohko-san with some jealousy. ...Certainly, Tohko-san looks like she's having fun in the chair. No, I don't care about that right now.

"What did you use the money on, Tohko-san?"

"Oh, what I bought was this boring thing. It's an Ouija Board from the Victoria Age. I can't expect much out of its effect, but it's not totally worthless because it's over a hundred years old. No matter how uninteresting it is, some mana and a long amount of time will give it some additional value. Well, it still makes no difference that it's useless. If I have to give a reason for buying it, you could say it's part of my hobby."

I just don't understand this person. This person called Aozaki Tohko is a magus. I always think how much better it would have been if she was just a magician or something, but that's the truth so I have to accept it. The magus continues her excuse.

"It was a sudden thing on sale, so I bought it out of impulse. Don't get so angry. I'm out of money too."

... Don't be angry? That's asking too much. As I have seen many miracles from her, I thought this part of her is rather playful, but I cannot be that tolerant today.

"So is that it? I'm not getting paid this month?"

"Yeah. Get some money from somewhere else."

I get up from my seat.

"Then I'm going to go find some money to live off of this month so I'm leaving early. Is that all right?"

"Fine. By the way Kokutoh, I need to ask you a favor."

Tohko-san says this in a different tone. Maybe it has to do something with the fact that Shiki is here... I calm down and stop.

"What is it, Tohko-san?"

"Can you lend me some money? I'm broke as you can see."

"...... I refuse with all my might."

I close the door hard and leave the office.

---

After looking at the conversation between Mikiya and Tohko for a while, Shiki finally opens her mouth.

"Tohko, about that thing."

"That's right. I don't really like to accept this kind of a job but I won't be able to live without money. ...... Geez, I'm going mad over money when I'm not an Alchemist. This is all because Kokutoh won't lend me any money."

Tohko sticks her cigarette into the ashtray saying she's in a bad mood. Shiki thinks Mikiya is probably is in a worse mood than her.

"Well, about that incident last night..."

"I've heard enough. I know what's going on."

"I see...... I only explained to you the scene of the crime, but you already know? You're pretty sharp."

Tohko looks meaningfully at Shiki. Tohko has only explained the results of the murder that occurred between 7PM and 8PM last night and Shiki is saying she understood what kind of crime it was. This is definite proof that Shiki is a person closer to the world Tohko lives in.

"The client has some idea of the killer. Your job is to take the killer under your care if possible. But if the killer happens to fight back even slightly... the client said to kill her."

Shiki just nods. The job description is easy. Find the killer and kill her.

"But what about after that?"

"If you happen to kill her, they will clean it up and treat it as an accident. For the client, she is already socially dead. It is not against the law to kill a dead person. What do you want to do? I think this job rather suits you."

"I don't even need to answer that question."

Saying that, Shiki starts walking out the office.

"You're in such a hurry. Were you hungry, Shiki?"

Shiki does not answer.

"Here, it's her picture and her status. What were you going to do without knowing what she looks like?"

Shiki only looks at Tohko, who throws her the file containing the information. The file drops to the floor.

"I don't need it. That killer is definitely of my kind. ... So if we meet, we'll start to kill each other at that instant."

Shiki leaves the office, leaving the sound of her kimono and a cold glare.

---

After I leave the office I couldn't help it, so I decide to borrow some money from a friend of mine. We decide to meet at the college cafeteria which I quit in June. A bit after noontime, Gakuto comes. He has grown much bigger since high school. When I tell him what I came for, he makes a troubled face.

"I'm surprised. Calling for someone just to borrow money? Are you really Kokutoh Mikiya?"

"Yeah. You're special to me. You should be happy about that."

"Heh, who would. Besides, why don't you go borrow from your relatives?"

"I haven't seen my parents ever since that fight I got into with them when I dropped out of college. How do you expect me to go back and ask such a thing now?"

"Haha, you're pretty stubborn. Was it a pretty big fight?"

"That has nothing to do with you. So are you going to lend me some money or not?"

"Hm? You're in a pretty bad mood today."

I glare at him saying it's none of his business, but Gakuto agrees to lending me some money.

"If I put your name out, I bet I would be able to collect 50000, 60000 yen quickly... and if you still need more, I can lend you some of my money. But, not for free."

... It seems he also has a favor to ask of me. Gakuto looks around and makes sure no one is listening.

"Well, to put it simply, I want for you to look for someone. It's one of our lower-classman, but he hasn't returned home. It seems he's involved in a strange crime."

Gakuto's story is not peaceful at all. The name of the missing lower-classman is Minato Keita. He is missing from last night and Gakuto says he is a member of the group that was killed last night. Minato Keita has contacted one of his friend last night but it seems he was acting strangely, so that friend came to Gakuto for help.

"Keita was saying something like he's going to get killed. That's the only call he made and he doesn't even answer his cell phone now. According to the guy who talked to him, he was really screwed up."

Screwed up... he must mean drugs by that. Easy drugs for beginners are cheap and relatively easy to get now. Even a high schooler can get his hands on L if they try, but they shouldn't try...

"... Hey now. Do you think such a violent world suits me?"

"What are you saying? Looking for people is your specialty."

I grow quiet.

"That guy Keita, does he do drugs?"

"No, the ones who used them were the ones that were killed. Don't you remember Keita? He's one of the kid that liked you."

... During high school, I was liked by some lower-classmen for some reason. Maybe because I'm a friend of Gakuto or something.

"It would make things easy if he is just tripping from a new drug. Which kind of drugs do they use? Upper or downer?"

There are two types of drugs: Upper, the ones that make you mentally high and feel good and downer, the ones that make you depressed. The one Gakuto names is an upper.

"It's bad if he's using drugs to run away from fear. The killer really might be after this kid. All right, I'll look into this. Tell me about his friends."

Gakuto hands me an address book as if he was ready for me to say so. Having lots of friends is a characteristic of the member of that group and it seems he's no exception. Many names with their cell phone numbers along with each group's hangout place is written.

"I'll contact you once I find him. I might get him under my protection but you wouldn't care, would you?"

By protection, I mean handing him over to Daisuke Nii-san, a cop. Gakuto nods, understanding what I mean. We reach an agreement. To start off my search, I borrow about 20000 yen from him. After saying goodbye to Gakuto, I decide to go to the murder scene. It's because I feel that I'll have to really try if I'm to find him. Even though I know I shouldn't concern myself, I also know this kid is in danger, so I could not decline Gakuto..

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 03

2007-02-14T04:20:32Z

Bored tenshi:

1

July nears its end and my surroundings have started to fill with all sorts of weird events. Like a friend who has been in a coma for two years finally regaining consciousness, like finishing the second big job at my workplace, and like my sister whom I haven't seen for five years coming to see me. The nineteenth summer of I, Kokutoh Mikiya, started in such a commotion.

Today is a rare off day I had, but I accompanied my high school friend to go drink, when I noticed I missed the last train. Others took cabs home, but as my payday is tomorrow, I do not have such extra money. It can't be helped, so I decide to walk home. Fortunately, my house is only two stations away from here. The date has just changed from July 20 to July 21.

Past midnight, I walk through the night town alone. Since tomorrow is a weekday, the shopping district is fast asleep. It rained hard tonight. The rain stopped by midnight but the asphalt still shows signs of the rain as the wet ground makes splashing sounds. It is the middle of summer and the temperature is way above 30 degrees. The hot night air and the humid air from the rain irritates me... and then I see a girl crouched on the sidewalk. A girl wearing a black school uniform is holding her stomach in pain as she is crouching on the guardrail. ... I notice the church's sister-like uniform. That plain but party dress-like fancy design is of the Asagami Lady Academy. According to Gakuto, it's really famous to those kinds of people... as they say it's like a maid's costume. ...It's not that I'm one of those people, but I know because my sister goes there.

"I heard all the students there lived in dorms..."

But to see her here at this time is too strange. She must be in some kind of trouble or just a bad student that doesn't follow the school rules. With my sister going to the same school and all, I decide to talk to her. When I call to her, she slowly turns to me and her long hair sways.

".........."

It seems the girl gasped really faintly. She has really long hair. Her eyes look calm and she too looks calm. Her face is small... it's cute but she also has some handsome features. That balance is more like Japanese beauty. Her long hair is cast straight behind her and a small piece of it is separated around her ears to drape down to her chests. It seems the left side of her hair is cut though. The front hair is cut straight and it reminds me of a good lady from a respected family.

"Yes? What is it?"

The girl says with a pale face. Her lips are purple. It's obvious she has cyanosis. She has one of her hands on her stomach, her face twisted in pain.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, um... I, um..."

She tries to act calm yet her words are not. The girl looks rather fragile. She has the feeling that she's going to break down any second, just like Shiki when I first met her.

"You're a student of the Reien Academy, right? Did you miss your train? That place is far from here. Do you want me to go get a taxi for you?"

"No, it's all right. I don't have any money."

"Yeah, I don't have any either."

The girl looks at me in surprise. ... I notice that I gave a surprisingly stupid reply.

"I see. Then your house must be near here. I heard everyone there lived in a dorm but I guess you're allowed to go out."

"No, my house is far from here."

I tilt my head in wonder.

"Then is it something like running away?"

"Yes, I think that is what I have to resort to."

... I'm troubled. Looking at her, the girl is soaked. Maybe she didn't find cover in that rain before but she is dripping wet. ... Since that time, I hated girls wet with rain. That must be why these words came out of my mouth.

"You want to come to my place just for tonight?"

"Can I...?"

Still sitting down, she looks at me as if she's desperate. I nod.

"I live alone, so there's no problem. But I won't make any guarantees. I don't have any bad intentions, but if anything weird happens, I might get "in the mood." I'm a healthy man so take that into consideration too. If you're still okay with that, then come along. Unfortunately, it's before my payday so I can't give you much, but I should at least have some painkillers."

The girl becomes happy. The defenseless and the pure smile also makes me happy. When I extend my hands to her, she gracefully gets up.

... It seemed there was red stains where the girl has been sitting...

I take this unknown girl and start walking through the night town again.

"We're going to walk a bit but tell me if you're suffering. I should at least be able to carry a girl on my back."

"Yes, but my wound is healed so it doesn't hurt."

She says so but her hand is still on her stomach. It's obvious she's in some kind of pain. I ask her again.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

The girl denies it and grows silent again. We walk a bit more. After a small silence, the girl shakes her head.

"... Yes. It really, really hurts. I'm about to cry... can I cry?"

When I nod, the girl closes her eyes looking satisfied. It looks as if she is watching a dream.

---

The girl did not tell me her name so I decide not to tell her mine either. I feel that it's more romantic that way. Once we get to the apartment, the girl says she wants to borrow the shower. She also says she wants to dry her clothes so I decide to stay outside. Giving her a cheap excuse that I'm going to go buy some smokes, I leave the room. I feel I am really good natured as I'm going out to buy something I would not smoke.

After spending about an hour outside and coming back, I find her asleep on the sofa. I set my alarm clock to seven thirty and lay on my bed. As I fall asleep, I worry about the cut in her uniform near her stomach.

---

When I wake up the next morning, the girl is sitting in the living room as she has nothing to do. She gives me a bow once she notices I'm awake.

"Thank you for last night. I cannot do anything in return but I am really thankful."

The girl gets up and starts to leave. ... I feel a bit bad about making her sit and wait just to say that to me.

"Wait, at least wait and get some breakfast."

The girl obediently follows what I say. The only things left are pasta and olive oil so naturally, our breakfast becomes spaghetti. I quickly make it for the two of us and carry it to the table to eat. Since it's so quiet, I turn on the TV and see a terrible news.

"... Wow, this is the kind of story Tohko-san would like."

I murmur something aloud that if she was there, she would be throwing something at me. ... But that's how weird the content of the news is. I listen to the newscaster who talks about what happened last night.

Last night, in the basement of a bar that has been abandoned for half a year, four dead bodies were found. It seems all four victims had their limbs torn off and the scene of the crime was a pool of blood. The place is pretty close to here, maybe around four stations away from last night's place. It's strange that they said the limbs were torn off rather than cut off, but the news does not go into detail about it, but rather goes into the information on the victims.

All four of the victims were high-schoolers and they were just kids that played around near that place. It seems they did some drugs too and a person who the newscaster is interviewing is talking about the victims' personal lives.

...... I think they deserved to die, those kids.

Those words flow from the TV and I get annoyed by those words that seem to talk bad about the dead, so I turn off the TV. Looking at the girl, she is placing her hand on her stomach painfully. Seeing that she hasn't taken a bite of food, she might be really hurt. I can't tell her expression as she is looking down.

'...... There's nobody that deserves to die."

She says so with ragged breath.

"Why... I'm healed, so why...?!"

The girl gets up from the chair and runs to the door. I quickly follow her but she raises her hand to stop me. It seems she does not want me to go near her.

"Wait. I think you should calm down."

"It's all right. I knew it... I cannot go back."

Her face twists in pain. The face that bears the pain seems similar to Shiki. The girl calms down and bows at me before she opens the door.

"Good bye. I never want to see you again."

The girl leaves just like that. Her face like a Japanese doll, except her eyes which seemed like she was about to cry.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 03

2007-02-13T04:58:10Z

Bored tenshi:

1

July nears its end and my surroundings have started to fill with all sorts of weird events. Like a friend who has been in a coma for two years finally regaining consciousness, like finishing the second big job at my workplace, and like my sister whom I haven't seen for five years coming to see me. The nineteenth summer of I, Kokutoh Mikiya, started in such a commotion.

Today is a rare off day I had, but I accompanied my high school friend to go drink, when I noticed I missed the last train. Others took cabs home, but as my payday is tomorrow, I do not have such extra money. It can't be helped, so I decide to walk home. Fortunately, my house is only two stations away from here. The date has just changed from July 20 to July 21.

Past midnight, I walk through the night town alone. Since tomorrow is a weekday, the shopping district is fast asleep. It rained hard tonight. The rain stopped by midnight but the asphalt still shows remains of the rain as the wet ground makes splashing sounds. It is the middle of summer and the temperature is way above 30 degrees. The hot night air and the humid air from the rain irritates me... and then I see a girl crouched on the sidewalk. A girl wearing a black school uniform is holding her stomach in pain as she is crouching on the guardrail. ... I notice the church's sister-like uniform. That plain but party dress-like fancy design is of the Asagami Lady Academy. According to Gakuto, it's really famous to those kinds of people... as they say it's like a maid's costume. ...It's not that I'm one of those people, but I know because my sister goes there.

"I heard all the students there lived in dorms..."

But to see her here at this time is too strange. She must be in some kind of trouble or just a bad student that doesn't follow the school rules. With my sister going to the same school and all, I decide to talk to her. When I call to her, she slowly turns to me and her long hair sways.

".........."

It seems the girl gasped really faintly. She has really long hair. Her eyes look calm and she too looks calm. Her face is small... it's cute but she has some handsomeness in her features. That balance is more like Japanese beauty. Her long hair is cast straight behind her and a small piece of it is separated around her ears to drape down to her chests. It seems the left side of her hair is cut though. The front hair is cut straight and it reminds me of a good lady from a respected family.

"Yes? What is it?"

The girl says with a pale face. Her lips are purple. It's obvious she has cyanosis. She has one of her hands on her stomach, her face twisted in pain.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, um... I, um..."

She tries to act calm yet her words are not. The girl looks rather fragile. She has the feeling that she's going to break down any second, just like Shiki when I first met her.

"You're a student of the Reien Academy, right? Did you miss your train? That place is far from here. Do you want me to go get a taxi for you?"

"No, it's all right. I don't have any money."

"Yeah, I don't have any too."

The girl looks at me in surprise. ... I notice that I gave a surprisingly stupid reply.

"I see. Then your house must be near here. I heard everyone there lived in a dorm but I guess you're allowed to go out."

"No, my house is far from here."

I tilt my head in wonder.

"Then is it something like running away?"

"Yes, I think that is what I have to resort to."

... I'm troubled. Looking at her, the girl is soaked. Maybe she didn't find cover in that rain before but she is dripping wet. ... Since that time, I hated girls wet with rain. That must be why these words came out of my mouth.

"You want to come to my place just for tonight?"

"Can I...?"

Still sitting down, she looks at me as if she's desperate. I nod.

"I live alone, so there's no problem. But I won't make any gurantees. I don't have any intentions but if anything weird happens, I might get in the mood. I'm a healthy man so put that into consideration too. If you're still okay with that, then come along. Unfortunately, it's before my payday so I don't have anything, but I should at least have some painkillers."

The girl becomes happy. The defenceless and the pure smile also makes me happy. When I extend my hands to her, she gracefully gets up.

... It seemed there was red stains where the girl has been sitting...

I take this unknown girl and start walking through the night town again.

"We're going to walk a bit but tell me if you're suffering. I should at least be able to carry a girl on my back."

"Yes, but my wound is healed so it doesn't hurt."

She says so but her hand is still on her stomach. It's obvious she's in some kind of pain. I ask her again.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

The girl denies it and grows silent again. We walk a bit more. After a small silence, the girl shakes her head.

"... Yes. It really, really hurts. I'm about to cry... can I cry?"

When I nod, the girl closes her eyes looking satisfied. It looks as if she is watching a dream.

---

The girl did not tell me her name so I decide not to either. I feel that it's more romantic that way. Once we get to the apartment, the girl says she wants to borrow the shower. She also says she wants to dry her cloth so I decide to stay outside. Giving her a cheap excuse that I'm going to go buy some smokes, I leave the room. I feel I am really good natured as I'm going out to buy something I would not smoke.

After spending about an hour outside and coming back, I find her asleep on the sofa. I set my alarm clock to seven thirty and lay on my bed. As I fall asleep, I worry about the cut in her uniform around the stomach area.

---

When I wake up the next morning, the girl is sitting in the living room as she has nothing to do. She gives me a bow once she notices I'm awake.

"Thank you for last night. I cannot do anything in return but I am really thankful."

The girl gets up and starts to leave. ... I feel a bit bad about making her sit and wait just to say that to me.

"Wait, at least wait and get some breakfast."

The girl obediently follows what I say. The only thing left are pasta and olive oil so naturally, our breakfast becomes spagetti. I quickly make it for the two of us and carry it to the table to eat. Since it's so quiet, I turn on the TV and see a terrible news.

"... Wow, this is the kind of story Tohko-san would like."

I murmur something aloud that if she was there, she'll be throwing something at me. ... But that's how weird the content of the news is. I listen to the newscaster who talks about what happened last night.

Last night, in the basement of a bar that has been abandoned for half a year, four dead bodies were found. It seems all four victims had their limbs torn off and the scene of the crime was a pool of blood. The place is pretty close to here, maybe around four stations away from last night's place. It's strange that they said the limbs were torn off rather than cut off, but the news does not go into detail about it, but rather goes into the information on the victims.

All four of the victims were high-schoolers and they were just kids that played around near that place. It seems they did some drugs too and a person who has the newscater's mike pointed at them is talking about the victim's personal lives.

...... I think they deserved to die, those kids.

Those words flow from the TV and I get annoyed by those words that seems to talk bad about the dead, so I turn off the TV. Looking at the girl, she is placing her hand on her stomach painfully. Seeing that she hasn't taken a bite of food, she might be really hurt. I can't tell her expression as she is looking down.

'...... There's nobody that deserves to die."

She says so with ragged breath.

"Why... I'm healed, so why...?!"

The girl gets up from the chair and runs to the door. I quickly follow her but she raises her hand to stop me. It shows she does not want me to go near her.

"Wait. I think you should calm down."

"It's all right. I knew it... I cannot go back."

Her face twists in pain. The face that bears the pain seems similar to Shiki. The girl calms down and bows at me before she opens the door.

"Good bye. I never want to see you again."

The girl leaves just like that. Her face like a Japanese doll, only her eyes seemed like it was about to cry.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 02

2007-02-13T04:38:16Z

Bored tenshi:

/1

Still a bit dazed, Asagami Fujino raises herself up. There is no one in this room except Fujino. The room's light is off... no, there was no such thing to begin with. Only deep darkness surrounds her.

"Hmm...."

Letting out a breath, Fujino feels her own hair. The tuft on her left side is cut off. It's probably from the guy with a knife who was on her a second ago. Remembering that, she finally looks around the room. This place is a bar made in a basement. It was abandoned half a year ago due to bankruptcy and became a place where bad kids hang out. ...In the corner of the room is a pipe chair. ...In the middle of the room is a pool table. ...Food from convenience stores are scattered around, and there is a pile of trash stacked up. It seems these things are creating the disturbing odor. Fujino becomes displeased by the sickening smell in the room. This place is a ruin... or is it some back alley slum in a faraway country? One cannot even imagine that a normal city exists on the other side of the stairway. The only normal thing there is the smell of the alcohol lamp they brought in.

"Umm...."

She looks around in a rather well-mannered fashion. Fujino's mind is not fully functional yet. ...She still has not taken in what has been happening until now. She picks up a wrist that happens to be by her feet. There is a watch on the severed wrist. The digital screen shows July 20, 1998. Time is 8PM, not even an hour after that incident.

"Guh...!"

Fujino groans from the sudden pain. A great pain is in her stomach area. She twists her body, not able to withstand the squeezing pain. The hands that touch the floor make a splashing sound. Looking, the whole room is filled with liquid.

"Yes, come to think of it, it is raining today."

Talking to herself, Fujino stands up. She looks at her stomach. There is a trace of blood there... the place where she was stabbed by these people scattered around here.

---

The one who stabbed Fujino was an infamous person in town. He stood out more than most of the others that dropped out of high school and was seen as a leader for the misfits in the area. He gathered people that liked the same thing as he did and did what they wanted. As part of the fun, they raped Fujino. Not much reason was there. Probably because Fujino was a student of the Reien Lady Academy and was also beautiful. As they were violent and selfish, they were not satisfied with abusing her just once. It seems they knew they could be accused for their actions, but they changed their mind when they found out that Fujino hadn't told anyone and was agonizing over it by herself. They found out they were the ones in power and they brought Fujino into this place many times. Tonight was another one of those times and they were completely relaxed, and also getting bored of the repetitious action. The guy probably brought out the knife to bring some excitement into this repeated habit. The leader of the kids had his pride hurt since Fujino lived normally even after they have raped her. He wanted definite proof that he was the one who ruled over her. In preparation for an act of extreme violence, he readied a knife, but the girl only made a cool face. He got angry at the girl whose expression didn't change even after having a knife pressed in front of her face, so he pushed her down and...

---

"I can't go outside like this."

Fujino downcasts her eyes as she feels her blood-soaked self. Her blood is only on her stomach, but she is dirtied by someone else's blood from the top of her hair to the bottom of her shoes. It seems the blood on her cannot be easily washed off. Fujino murmurs to herself.

"How stupid of me... getting this dirty."

And she kicks at one of the limbs scattered around the floor. Am I more angry at getting dirtied by their blood than the fact that they have violated me up to now? Fujino thinks as she is surprised by her own rage. It's raining outside... there should be less people walking around in about an hour. Even though it's raining, it's summertime so it shouldn't be too cold. I'll soak myself in the rain and then wash off the blood at some park. ...As she reaches that solution, she suddenly calms down. She walks away from the pool of blood and finally counts the corpses scattered around. One, two, three, four... four...... four...... four, no matter how many times I count!! She is astonished. ...One is missing...

"One has gotten away, huh...?"

She murmurs faintly. Then I will be caught by the police. If he goes to them, I will be arrested. But... will he go to the police? How will he be able to explain the situation? Will he start from telling them about raping me, Asagami Fujino, and threatening her not to tell anyone? Not possible. Such a thing is impossible, and these people should not have the brains to come up with a convincing story. Fujino relaxes a bit and lights the lamp on the pool table. The light from the lamp lights the whole room. The 16 scattered arms and legs show up clearly. If you look for it, you should also find four bodies and heads. Lightened up by the orange light, the room is painted anew with red paint like it has gone mad. Fujino did not care much about this disastrous scene. ... One has escaped. Her revenge is not completed yet... Fortunately, it has not ended.

"Would I have to take revenge...?"

Fujino fears at the idea of having to kill another person. Her body trembles, telling her such a thing is impossible to do. But she herself would be in danger if she doesn't. But still, she does not want to do any more bad things... That is her true feeling.

... The pool of blood reflecting her face shows her mouth making a smile...

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 01

2007-02-12T04:58:08Z

Bored tenshi:

/0

"You brought an unusual letter of introduction."

I'm at a laboratory at an university. An old man, whose white lab coat suited him well, offers me a handshake with a reptile-like smile.

"Wow, supernatural powers? You're interested in such a thing?"

"No, I just want to know what kind of a thing it is."

"That's what you call interest. But who cares though. To use her card as a letter... that's just like her. She was an outstanding student of mine, so I'm concerned about her. This place is getting less people who can be used, so we don't have enough human resource. Yup, not enough is not good."

"Um, about the supernatural powers..."

"Oh yeah, supernatural powers... But there are many different kinds of powers. We don't measure them genuinely here, so I don't know if I could help you. In this occupation, this is an ominous subject, so there's only a few laboratories that study this subject in Japan. This thing is a blackbox, you know? So the real details don't get to me. Yeah, I heard it's getting practical, but I have to wonder. That thing is, you know, something you have to have since you are born..."

"I really don't care about the classification. I think it's PK anyways. What I want to know is how people end up with these powers."

"It's channels. You watch TV?"

"Well, yeah... but what about it?"

"You compare human brain to channels. Which channel do you usually watch?"

"... Let's see, I guess it's channel 8."

"That's it. That should be the channel with the highest rating, right? Let's say there are 12 channels in a human brain. The brain of you and me are always on channel 8, the channel with the highest rating. There are other channels but we can't go there. The channel that everyone watches... should I say common sense? Channel 8 is the channel we have as we can live within that common sense. Do you understand?"

"... Um, so you're saying we're made to watch the safest programs?"

"No no. That's for the best. The common sense of the 20th century, the channel with the highest rating is channel 8. Since we can be there, that's the most peaceful channel, right? We live in that common sense and we are protected by that common sense... isn't it beautiful?"

"You're saying other channels are not peaceful?"

"I don't know. Let's say channel 3 is a channel that receives the words of plants instead of people. Let's say that on channel 4, the brain waves to make your body move actually moves something else. It's amazing to have these kinds of channels. There, the common sense airing on channel 8 doesn't exist. Since the most popular channel shows the common sense needed to live in this current world, other channels do not show such a thing. At the very least, the morals in channel 8 are not shown."

"So you mean not having channel 8 would make you mentally abnormal?"

"Yup. Say there's someone that only has channel 3. That person can talk to plants, but in turn, cannot talk to people. As a result, society treats that person as mentally disabled and locks them up in a hospital. That's what it means to have supernatural powers. It's people who have different channels then everyone else from the time they are born. But most people with supernatural powers have such channels as 4 and 8 at the same time and can switch between them. It's channels so you can switch between them when you want to, right? When you watch channel 4, you can't watch channel 8. When you watch channel 8, you can't watch channel 4. People with supernatural powers in society live by using both of them, the usual self and the abnormal self."

"I see. So that's why common sense is useless for the person who only has channel 4... because they don't have such a thing to begin with."

"That's right. Society calls these people maniacs or killers but we think of them as a "unfit existence". There are many people who are unfit for society, but these people are unfit right from their existence. They are people who shouldn't exist... no, they cannot exist. This is a "what-if" story, okay? If there was someone who had both channel 4 and 8 and something happened to that person to destroy its body causing that person to be permanently on channel 4, that person is done for. Even though that person had all the common sense, if they cannot be on the same channel as us, they cannot communicate with us... because they are on a different channel."

"Is there a way to make the unfit into a fit existence?"

"You can just stop their life. To put it more precisely, you have to destroy the abnormal channel. But to do so means to destroy their brain, so it comes down to killing them. There's no such thing as killing the channel without killing the body. If there is, that's what you would really call supernatural powers. That's around channel 12, I think? That channel can pretty much do anything."

The professor laughs like it is really funny.

"That was helpful. By the way, is the most popular power in PK bending spoons?"

"What? Spoons can bend?"

"I don't know about spoons but at least human arms."

"You mean arms of an adult? That's pretty amazing. "Distortion" depends on the objects size rather than its hardness. I would think it should take about seven days to bend something like a human arm. So, which way is it? Right? Left?"

"Does that matter?"

"Of course. It has to do with the fulcrum. Even Earth has a direction of rotation, right? What, it's not constant? Hmm... does that power actually exist? Then you shouldn't have anything to do with this person. This person has more than two channels. That unfit existence probably can rotate things in both directions. I have never heard of a case of someone having two channels and is able to use them both at once. This is too powerful."

"Um... I don't have much time so I should get going. I have to get to Nagano by today... so thank you for all your help."

"It's all right. You can come as much as you want if it's her introduction. Oh, and by the way... is Aozaki-kun doing well?"

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 01

2007-02-12T04:57:22Z

Bored tenshi:

/0

"You brought an unusual letter of introduction."

I'm at a laboratory at an university. An old man, whose white lab coat suited him, offers me a handshake with a reptile-like smile.

"Wow, supernatural powers? You're interested in such a thing?"

"No, I just want to know what kind of a thing it is."

"That's what you call interest. But who cares though. To use her card as a letter... that's just like her. She was an outstanding student of mine, so I'm concerned about her. This place is getting less people who can be used, so we don't have enough human resource. Yup, not enough is not good."

"Um, about the supernatural powers..."

"Oh yeah, supernatural powers... But there are many different kinds of powers. We don't measure them genuinely here, so I don't know if I could help you. In this occupation, this is an ominous subject, so there's only a few laboratories that study this subject in Japan. This thing is a blackbox, you know? So the real details don't get to me. Yeah, I heard it's getting practical, but I have to wonder. That thing is, you know, something you have to have since you are born..."

"I really don't care about the classification. I think it's PK anyways. What I want to know is how people end up with these powers."

"It's channels. You watch TV?"

"Well, yeah... but what about it?"

"You compare human brain to channels. Which channel do you usually watch?"

"... Let's see, I guess it's channel 8."

"That's it. That should be the channel with the highest rating, right? Let's say there are 12 channels in a human brain. The brain of you and me are always on channel 8, the channel with the highest rating. There are other channels but we can't go there. The channel that everyone watches... should I say common sense? Channel 8 is the channel we have as we can live within that common sense. Do you understand?"

"... Um, so you're saying we're made to watch the safest programs?"

"No no. That's for the best. The common sense of the 20th century, the channel with the highest rating is channel 8. Since we can be there, that's the most peaceful channel, right? We live in that common sense and we are protected by that common sense... isn't it beautiful?"

"You're saying other channels are not peaceful?"

"I don't know. Let's say channel 3 is a channel that receives the words of plants instead of people. Let's say that on channel 4, the brain waves to make your body move actually moves something else. It's amazing to have these kinds of channels. There, the common sense airing on channel 8 doesn't exist. Since the most popular channel shows the common sense needed to live in this current world, other channels do not show such a thing. At the very least, the morals in channel 8 are not shown."

"So you mean not having channel 8 would make you mentally abnormal?"

"Yup. Say there's someone that only has channel 3. That person can talk to plants, but in turn, cannot talk to people. As a result, society treats that person as mentally disabled and locks them up in a hospital. That's what it means to have supernatural powers. It's people who have different channels then everyone else from the time they are born. But most people with supernatural powers have such channels as 4 and 8 at the same time and can switch between them. It's channels so you can switch between them when you want to, right? When you watch channel 4, you can't watch channel 8. When you watch channel 8, you can't watch channel 4. People with supernatural powers in society live by using both of them, the usual self and the abnormal self."

"I see. So that's why common sense is useless for the person who only has channel 4... because they don't have such a thing to begin with."

"That's right. Society calls these people maniacs or killers but we think of them as a "unfit existence". There are many people who are unfit for society, but these people are unfit right from their existence. They are people who shouldn't exist... no, they cannot exist. This is a "what-if" story, okay? If there was someone who had both channel 4 and 8 and something happened to that person to destroy its body causing that person to be permanently on channel 4, that person is done for. Even though that person had all the common sense, if they cannot be on the same channel as us, they cannot communicate with us... because they are on a different channel."

"Is there a way to make the unfit into a fit existence?"

"You can just stop their life. To put it more precisely, you have to destroy the abnormal channel. But to do so means to destroy their brain, so it comes down to killing them. There's no such thing as killing the channel without killing the body. If there is, that's what you would really call supernatural powers. That's around channel 12, I think? That channel can pretty much do anything."

The professor laughs like it is really funny.

"That was helpful. By the way, is the most popular power in PK bending spoons?"

"What? Spoons can bend?"

"I don't know about spoons but at least human arms."

"You mean arms of an adult? That's pretty amazing. "Distortion" depends on the objects size rather than its hardness. I would think it should take about seven days to bend something like a human arm. So, which way is it? Right? Left?"

"Does that matter?"

"Of course. It has to do with the fulcrum. Even Earth has a direction of rotation, right? What, it's not constant? Hmm... does that power actually exist? Then you shouldn't have anything to do with this person. This person has more than two channels. That unfit existence probably can rotate things in both directions. I have never heard of a case of someone having two channels and is able to use them both at once. This is too powerful."

"Um... I don't have much time so I should get going. I have to get to Nagano by today... so thank you for all your help."

"It's all right. You can come as much as you want if it's her introduction. Oh, and by the way... is Aozaki-kun doing well?"

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 a

2007-02-12T04:42:38Z

Bored tenshi:

When I was still small, I once cut my hand while playing house.
Borrowed things, imitated things, made things...
It is because a real one was mixed in within all those cooking utensils.
While I was playing with this pretty sharp object, I cut myself between the fingers.
I returned to my mother with a red hand,
I remember her scolding me, then crying, and then kindly embracing me.
Mother said it must have hurt.
I was happy, not because of those words that I did not understand; rather, I was more happy about the fact that mother embraced me, so I started crying with my mother.

"Fujino, the pain will go away once the cut heals..."

Mother said so as she wrapped bandages around me.
I do not know what those words meant...
Because not even once did I feel any pain.

3. Remaining Sense of Pain (Ever cry, never life) -Asagami Fujino-

------------------------------------------------------

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 a

2007-02-12T04:39:17Z

Bored tenshi:

When I was still small, I once cut my hand while playing house.
Borrowed things, imitated things, made things...
It is because a real one was mixed in within all those cooking utensils.
While I was playing with this pretty sharp object, I cut myself between the fingers.
I returned to my mother with a red hand,
I remember her scolding me, then crying, and then kindly embracing me.
Mother said it must have hurt.
I was happy, not because of those words that I did not understand; rather, I was more happy about the fact that mother embraced me, so I started crying with my mother.
Fujino, the pain would go away once the cut heals...
Mother said so as she wrapped bandages around me.
I do not know what those words meant...
Because not even once did I feel any pain.

3. Remaining Sense of Pain (Ever cry, never life) -Asagami Fujino-

------------------------------------------------------

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 07

2007-02-08T04:46:51Z

Bored tenshi:

Kara no Kyokai／Opening

July, 1998.

I safely finish my first job since I got employed at Tohko-san's office. Well, what I do is more like what a secretary does; all I did was get all the contract approved with the help of a lawyer. I'm discontent with being treated like a beginner, but I know that I deserve it after dropping out of college.

"Mikiya-kun, wasn't today the day you go to the hospital?"

"Yes. I'll go after work."

"You can get out early. There's nothing to do anyways."

Tohko-san turns into a really nice person with her glasses on. Today is one of those lucky days and she is cleaning the handle of her lovely vehicle.

"Then I'll be going. I should be back in about two hours."

"Bring me back something!"

Leaving Tohko-san behind, I leave the office.

Once a week, on Saturday afternoon, I go to visit her. I go visit Ryohgi Shiki, the girl that is unable to speak since that night. I don't know what kind of trouble she was going through or what she tried to do. I don't even know why she tried to kill me. But her smile at the very last moment is enough for me. As Gakuto said, I am insane about Shiki from a long time ago. I can't go back to being normal after being almost killed just once.

Shiki, who's sleeping in the hospital room, is the same since that night. I remember that day me and Shiki were talking in the classroom in the sunset. She asked me what part of her I could believe in. I repeat my answer from back then.

... I have no basis, but I will continue to believe in you. I like you, so I want to keep on believing in you...

... What an immature answer. I said I had no basis, but I actually had one. I can declare that with confidence that she would not kill anyone, . Because Shiki knows the pain of murder. As she is the victim and the assailant. She knows more than anyone how sad murder is.

That's why I believe in her. Shiki, who does not get hurt; and SHIKI, who only has hurt.

... She was always so fragile, like she was about to get hurt. You could not even let out once your true feelings...

----

There are three prepared pieces.

A person with two bodies that floats with reliance on death.

A non-adaptable existence which takes pleasure from being in contact with death.

A person with an awakened origin who turns to its ego by running away to death.

They all intertwine with one another and wait at the spiral of conflict.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 06

2007-02-08T04:35:30Z

Bored tenshi:

／5

That night. The dark clouds starts to shower rain down onto the ground. Raindrops make the night into a noisy one. Even though it's March, the rain is still cold. Kokutoh Mikiya stares at the Ryohgi mansion, wet in the rain with the bamboo leaves. The hand holding the umbrella is turning red. Mikiya lets out a big sigh. Even he doesn't plan on continuing this stalker-like thing. It would be great if the killer would be caught while he does this, but Mikiya has decided to quit if nothing happens for another week.

... Standing in the rain sure is tiring. The coldness and the rain hit hard since Mikiya is just getting used to all this.

".... Sigh"

This sigh is not because of the rain but rather from how Shiki acted today. What could Mikiya get across to her when she thinks he didn't trust her? At that time, Shiki seemed really fragile, so much that Mikiya thought she was crying.

The rain does not stop.

The black puddles on the ground ripple endlessly.

'''A big splash occurs. When Mikiya looks in the direction of the sound, a red figure is standing there.'''

A girl in red is wet with rain.

Not even holding an umbrella, the girl is drenched as if she has just came out from the ocean. The black hair is sticking to her forehead and her eyes look empty.

"... Shiki"

Mikiya quickly runs to her. How long has this girl been out in the rain? The red kimono is sticking to her body and her body is cold as ice. Mikiya hands her the umbrella and takes out a towel from his bag.

"Here, wipe yourself with this. What are you doing? Your house is right there."

Mikiya reaches out his hand. She laughs at his defenselessness.

"...... Huh?"

It happens even before he could notice. The hand that reached out feels something hot and Mikiya instantly jumps back. Something warm flows down his arm.

Cut?

On the arm?

Why?

It doesn't move?

The pain is so sharp, it cannot be thought of as normal pain. It hurts so much that the senses starts to go numb. There's no time for Mikiya to think. The girl in red he thought of as Shiki moves. Maybe it's because Mikiya has seen something terrible here already, but his head was not panicking yet. Jumping back calmly, he runs off.

....... No, there was no way he could get away.

The instant Mikiya jumps back, she runs towards him. Her speed is beast-like. Mikiya hears a slicing sound from around his feet. Red liquid mixes in with the rain. Noticing that it is his own blood, Mikiya fall onto the ground face-up.

"Agh..."

He moans hitting his back on the ground. The girl in red gets on top of Mikiya. There's determination in her eyes. The girl places her knife on Mikiya's throat. Mikiya just looks up at the whole thing happening to him. All that's there is darkness... and her. There's no emotion in those black eyes. She is serious. The top of the knife touches Mikiya's throat. Maybe because the rain is coming down on her, but the girl looks like she's crying. But there's no expression. The mask-like crying face is scary, and at the same time, pitiful.

"Kokuto, say something."

Shiki is saying that she'll listen to his last words. Mikiya tells Shiki looking directly in her eye while trembling.

"I... don't want to... die..."

It doesn't seem like the words are directed at Shiki. Mikiya said so to the impending death coming onto him, not to Shiki.

Shiki smiles.

"I want to kill you."

It was a really kind smile.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 05

2007-02-07T05:04:29Z

Bored tenshi:

／4

A murder occurred in front of my house. My memory of the night after I went to take a walk is vague. But if you connect the parts that I remember, what I must have done is obvious. SHIKI is the same way too, but I do not deal with blood too well. Just looking at it makes my mind go blank. The flowing blood of this victim was really beautiful. The stone road to my mansion, the space between the stones are like a maze and the red liquid going through that maze was filled with beauty I haven't seen before.

But that caused the misfortune. When I noticed, someone was throwing up behind me and it was Kokutoh Mikiya. I didn't know why he was there and, at that time, I didn't even wonder why he was there. After that, I think... I went back to the mansion, but it seems the crime was found out much later than that and nobody knows I was at the scene of the crime. Then was what I saw just a dream? There's no way that honest classmate would not tell about the killer. But why did it have to be in front of my house?

"SHIKI, is it you?"

I ask aloud but there's no answer. SHIKI and I are out of sync. That feeling grows stronger every day. Even if I let SHIKI use my body, the one who decides is me, but why is it that my memory is vague when I do so?

... Maybe I just don't realize it, but I might be insane like everyone else of the Ryohgi bloodline. SHIKI would say "If you think you're abnormal, that's a fake." For an abnormal person, everyone else seems abnormal, so they would not question themselves. At least that's the way I was. Then that must mean I finally figured out the difference between me and the rest of the world after sixteen years. But who caused that?

"Please excuse me, Ojou-sama."

Akitaka says so after he knocks on the door.

"What is it?"

Akitaka opens the door with my word. It's almost bedtime, so Akitaka does not enter the room.

"It seems there's someone checking out the mansion."

"I heard from father that he got all the policemen out."

Akitaka nods.

"All the police are off the property since last night. I think it is someone else tonight."

"Do as you wish. It has nothing to do with me."

"But it seems the one outside is your friend from your school."

After hearing that, I immediately get up from my bed. I go to the window facing the mansion's gate and look outside. In the bamboo woods, there is a figure that I wish would hide more cleverly. ... It pisses me off.

"I can get him to go home if you wish."

"You can leave that thing as it is."

I quickly make my way to the bed and lay down. Akitaka leaves after telling me goodnight. I cannot sleep even after turning off the lights and closing my eyes. There's nothing to do so I check outside the window again. Wearing a brown coat, Mikiya is shivering in the cold. It seems he's looking at the gate. ... He might be a great man as he has a pot of coffee by his feet.

I have to reject the idea that seeing Mikiya at that place is only a dream. Since he was actually there, he's here right now to check on me. I don't know what his motive is, but I think he's probably out to check who the killer is. ... Anyways, I get mad and unconsciously bite my nail.

----

Even the day after such a thing happened, Mikiya was acting normal.

"Shiki, do you wanna eat lunch together?"

He would say that and go to the rooftop. I feel like I'm being trained using food as I always accept his offer for lunch. I have decided to ignore him, but I am curious about what he thinks of that night. I followed him up to the rooftop thinking he would question me about it, but Mikiya was like always.

"Isn't your house too big? I can brag about seeing a servant just by going to see you."

There's no right for Mikaya to say that, with him using the word servant.

"Akitaka is my father's secretary. And we call them caretakers, not servants, Kokutoh-kun."

"I see, so you do have people like that at your place."

... That's the only time my house came up in the conversation. With his personality, I don't think he knows that we know he's out there checking on the mansion, but still, he is acting too strangely. He must have seen me covered in blood that night, so why can he still laugh like it never happened? So I bring the topic up myself.

"Kokutoh-kun, on the night of February third..."

"Don't talk about that."

He avoids my question just like that.

"What is it, Kokuto."

... I can't believe it, I'm talking like SHIKI without noticing. Mikiya is a bit startled by being called Kokuto while I am obviously still Shiki.

"Tell me, why didn't you tell the police about me?"

"... Because I didn't see anything."

That's a lie. There's no way. Because at that time, SHIKI went towards him and...

"You just happened to be there, right? At least, that's the only thing I saw so I decided to believe in you."

That's a lie. Then why would he check on the mansion?

... SHIKI went towards him and...

"Well, to be honest, it's a bit hard on me so I'm working hard on it right now. If I can have confidence in myself, I should be able to hear you out. So let's not talk about that for now."

His expression makes me feel like running away.

... SHIKI definitely tried to kill Kokutoh Mikiya...

I did not want such a thing. Mikiya said he would believe me. If I could also believe in myself, I wouldn't feel this unknown pain either...

----

From that day on, I decide to ignore Mikiya completely. About two days into it, he stopped talking to me, but he didn't stop coming to the mansion to check on me. Under the cold winter sky, he would stay in the bamboo woods until about three in the morning. Thanks to that, I cannot take my nightly walks. It's been about two weeks since it started. I look outside the window wondering if he really wants to figure out the identity of the killer that bad. ... He is really persistent. It's almost three in the morning, but he just keeps staring at the gate. There's nothing desperate about his expression, rather he smiled when he left.

"......"

I get irritated. I finally understand. He isn't out to find the killer. For him, it's only natural to trust me, and that's why he doesn't suspect me. He's there knowing from the beginning that I would not go out during the night. He's only there to prove my innocence. That's why he smiles happily when the night ends without anything happening. Believing that the true killer is really innocent.

"... What a happy guy."

Murmuring, I think. Being with Mikiya calms me down. Being with Mikiya makes me think I'm like him. Being with Mikiya makes me think I could go over to their side. But definitely, that bright side of the world is a world I should never be in. A world I cannot be in, a world without a place for me... He drags me in with his smile...

That's why I am irritated by Mikiya, making me think all that. I have inside me a killer called SHIKI. That boy that lets me know that I am abnormal...

"I am fine by myself. But you're getting in my way, Kokuto."

Shiki does not want to go crazy.

SHIKI does not want to be broken.

Everything would have been fine if I never had the dream of living normally.

◇

March comes and the coldness starts to go away. I look outside from my classroom. The overlooking view from here makes a person like me feel safe. A view that I cannot reach does not let me hope by definition. Mikiya comes as usual into the red-tinted classroom. SHIKI liked to talk like this. ... and I also didn't dislike it.

"I never thought you'd invite me. Are you going to stop ignoring me?"

"I wanted to talk because it's impossible to continue that."

Mikiya makes a frowning face. I continue while feeling that I am mixing in with SHIKI.

"You said I am not the killer."

The sunset is so red that I cannot see his face.

"I'm sorry. I am a killer. Why do you let me go even after seeing that scene?"

Mikiya looks dumb-struck.

"There's nothing to let go, because you never did such a thing."

"Even if I say I did myself?"

Mikiya nods.

"You're the one to tell me not to listen to you too seriously. And you definitely can't do such a thing... ever."

I get mad at Mikiya for saying that while he does not know anything.

"What do you mean definitely? What about me can you understand? What about me can you trust?"

My anger comes out my mouth. Mikiya makes a troubled face but smiles.

"I have no basis, but I will continue to believe in you. I like you, so I want to keep on believing in you."

That did it. A pure power... pure words erase everything else just because it is pure. A normal word like that for him is happiness for Shiki and destruction that she could never get away from. I was just shown the world I could never be in through this happy person.

... A world where you could live with someone else must be a happy world.

... But I do not know such world.

... But I probably do not know such world.

If I get to know someone, SHIKI will kill that person because SHIKI's reason for existence is to deny. And since my reason is to affirm, I cannot exist without denial. Since I have never been attracted to anything, I was able to stay away from this contradiction. Now that I know, the more I wish for it, the more I know this wish is hopeless. That fact really hurts and I detest it. For the first time, I detest Mikiya from the bottom of my heart.

... Mikiya laughs like it's nothing.
Even though I can never be there.

I cannot stand his existence. I know for sure now. Mikiya will bring me destruction...

"... You're stupid."

I tell him from the bottom of my heart.

"Yeah, I get told that a lot."

The sunset is red and I exit the classroom. As I leave, I ask him without turning.

"Are you going to come again tonight?"

"Huh......?"

He sounds surprised. I guess he didn't know I noticed his "stake-out". Mikiya tries to lie it off but I stop him.

"Answer me."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I'll go if I feel like it."

I leave the classroom. There are gray clouds in the red sky. From the dark clouds, I think it will rain tonight.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 04

2007-02-06T04:45:31Z

Bored tenshi: /* 5 */

Murder Study (Part 1)／

== 1 ==

"Mikiya, is it true that you're going out with Ryohgi?"

I almost spew out my coffee milk to Gakuto's words. I look around while coughing. Fortunately, the lunchtime classroom is loud and no one seems to have heard Gakuto's nonsense.

"What do you mean by that, Gakuto?"

Gakuto looks rather amazed when I question him.

"What are you saying? It's a known fact for everyone that Kokutoh of class 1-C has a crush on Ryohgi. The only ones who don't know are you two."

I think I frowned to those words.

It's been seven months since I first met Shiki. It's already November, right near winter.

... Certainly it's not weird for anyone to start going out after that much time.

"Gakuto, that's just a misunderstanding. We're just friends, and nothing more."

"Really?"

The hopeful of the judo club frowns his face. In contrast to his name, which means "educated person", this guy, who has been my friend since elementary school, is the athletic type. From our long relationship, he must have figured out I wasn't lying.

"But you call her by her first name. There's no way that Ryohgi would allow just a classmate to call her like that."

"Hey now. Shiki doesn't like that. She glared at me when I called her Ryohgi-san before. People ''say'' you can kill someone by looking at them, but Shiki definitely has that potential. Anyways, she says she hates people calling her by her last name, so she says it's fine if I just call her "you". But since I didn't like that, I compromised with "Shiki-san". She didn't like that either, so it ended up with just Shiki. That is the boring truth."

Telling Gakuto about what happened in April, he agrees that it was indeed a boring development.

"I see. That sure is an unromantic story."

Gakuto says this disappointedly. ...What kind of an answer was he hoping for?

"So that thing last week at the school entrance was nothing either? Damn, it was a waste of time coming here. I should have just eaten lunch in my classroom."

"... Hold on. How do you know about that?"

"I told you, you guys are famous. Everyone at the school already knows you and Ryohgi were getting shelter from the rain together by the entrance last Saturday. Since its Ryohgi, even small things like that catch everyone's attention."

I sigh and look up. All I can hope for now is that Shiki will never hear about this.

"This is a school to get you ready for college right? I'm starting to wonder if everyone's really studying."

"According to the teachers, employment rate is good for students who graduated from here."

... I have to question how this school is run.

"But man, why Ryohgi? It just doesn't fit you."

I remember being said something like that by my Senpais.

They told me a quiet, gentle girl would suit me. I guess Gakuto is on the same line too.

... I get a bit angry.

"Shiki isn't such a scary girl."

I let it slip out my mouth..

Gakuto grins. ...He looks like he knows I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"What do you mean she's just your friend? That's definitely a hard girl. The fact that you don't see it is proof that you're too crazy about that girl."

He must mean hard-headed when he says hard. I know he's right, but I didn't want to just give in and nod.

"I already know that."

"Then what's so good about her? Her looks?"

Gakuto is holding nothing back.

Indeed Shiki is beautiful. But with that aside, Shiki attracts me. Shiki always seems like she's about to get hurt. In reality, she's firm enough not to get hurt, but she seems to be really fragile. That's probably why I can't ignore her. I don't want to see her get hurt.

"It's just something that you don't notice. Even Shiki has her cute points. ...Let's see, if I think of her as an animal, she's cute enough to be a rabbit."

Suddenly, i regret saying that

"Don't be stupid. She's definitely in the cat family, and probably the beast ones too. A rabbit is too far off, way too far. Is Ryohgi the type that would die out of loneliness?"

Gakuto laughs his ass off.

But I think she's like a rabbit in that she doesn't become attached to people and how she looks at others from a distance. ... Huh, if that's just me, then fine.

"All right. I won't talk to you about girls anymore."

Gakuto quits laughing once I tell him that.

"You might be right. A rabbit suits her well."

"Gakuto, a frank agreement is rather offensive."

"I mean it. I remembered that rabbits were dangerous too. In this world, there are rabbits that chop off your head if you're unlucky."

I hesitate being said that in a serious tone.

"That's a pretty amazing rabbit."

Gakuto nods.

"Of course, cause I'm talking about the world of gaming."

== 2 ==

I saw an unbelievable thing on the day the exam ended for the second quarter.

There was a letter in my desk. No, that itself isn't too weird. The problem is the sender and its content. To put it simply, it was from Shiki, asking me out on a date.

It sounded like a threat telling me to take her out somewhere tomorrow. I went home all confused and waited for the next day to come, feeling like a samurai told to kill himself the next day.

◇

"Yo, Kokuto."

That was the first word Shiki said to me when she came. She came to our meeting place, the dog statue in front of the station, with a red leather jacker over her kimono. More than her outfit, I was confused by how she spoke.

"Did ya wait? Sorry man. It took me awhile to shake off Akitaka."

She says this as if it's perfectly natural for her.

She sounds like a guy, not like the Shiki I know. Not being able to answer, I check her figure again. There's nothing different in her looks. She has a small body, but because of her valiant gestures, she looks powerful... no, rather graceful. She has the unbalancedness of a lively puppet, a puppet made well, but just on the outside.

"What? You angry just cause I'm an hour late? You're pretty intolerant, man."

Shiki looks at me with her black eyes. Her beautiful short black hair. A small face and big eyes, they both are beautiful. The black eyes are reflecting the figure of Kokutoh Mikiya, but it seems to be seeing something farther away. ... Come to think of it, I was attracted to these eyes since that snowy day when we met

"Um... you're Shiki, right?"

"Yeah", Shiki laughs. A strange smile that's more like a grin.

"What else do I look like? We're wasting time like this. Come on, take me somewhere. I'll let you decide, Kokuto."

Saying that, Shiki starts to walk taking my arm forcefully.

... She said she'll let me decide, but since I was confused, I didn't even notice that she was leading the way...

We walked a lot.

Shiki didn't do much shopping, but she would go into a store in the department store and look around, and goes to the next one when she gets bored. My request to take a rest at the cafe or a movie theater was denied. ... But she's right. It would have been boring to go to such places with the way Shiki is acting right now.

Shiki talked a lot. If I'm not mistaken, she seemed excited. How should I say this... she's mentally high?

Most of the stores she went to were cloth-oriented, but I was relieved every one of them were stores for women. Shiki must have gotten tired from looking through four department stores in four hours, as she says she wants to eat.

We wander around and end up in a fast food joint. Shiki takes off her jacket once she takes a seat. She catches peoples attention with that kimono outfit but it seems she doesn't care at all. Making up my mind, I ask her about what I've been wondering all this time.

"Shiki, you actually talk like that all the time?"

"In my case. But there's no meaning in how someone talks. Even you can change that."

Shiki eats the hamburger like it doesn't taste good.

"Well, this kind of thing never happened before. Today's the first day that I came outside. I didn't say anything until now cause I had the same opinion as Shiki."

... I don't get it at all.

"Let's see... It's a split personality to put it simply. I'm SHIKI and the normal one is Shiki. SHIKI is from the word, "weaved cloth." But Shiki and I are not different people. The only difference between us is the priorities of things. The ranks of what we like are different."

Saying that, she writes on her napkin using her wet fingers. The white finger writes the word Shiki and SHIKI.

"I wanted to talk with Kokuto, that's all. Since it's not something Shiki wanted to do, I'm doing it in her place. Do ya understand?"

"Well, kind of."

I answer uneasily. But I actually have felt what SHIKI is talking about. I think something similar to that happened to me before. Before I entered high school, I met Shiki, but she said she didn't remember it. At that time I thought she said that because she hated me, but after hearing this, it makes sense.

No, more than that. After spending all day with her i can tell she is the same Shiki. As Shiki, no, as SHIKI says, she only talks differently, but her actions are the same. They are so similar I'm starting to feel there's nothing different about her now.

"But why did you tell me about that?"

"I thought I wouldn't be able to hide it from ya much longer."

Shiki takes another drink. She puts her mouth on the straw and lets go quickly... Shiki doesn't like cold things.

"To be honest, I'm like Shiki's subversive impulse. This was something that she really wanted to do. But up to now, there was no one I wanted to do it with, because Ryohgi Shiki was uninterested in everyone."

SHIKI says so like she's not interested. I could not move, being stared at by those deep black eyes.

"Yeah, but you rest assured, I'm still Shiki. I'm just saying what Shiki thinks. Like I told ya, we just talk differently. ... Well, but we're beginning to get out of line, so don't take me too seriously."

"Out of line? ... You mean you and Shiki get into a fights?"

"Hey, how can you get in a fight with yourself? No matter what I do, it has to be something we both wanted, so we both have no complaints. No matter how much I fight, Shiki has control over this body. I'm seeing you like this because Shiki thought it was all right too. ... Well, she'll probably regret saying things like this. It's not something Shiki would say, right?"

I agree.

SHIKI laughs.

"I like those kind of things about you. But Shiki doesn't. That's what I mean by being out of line."

...? What does that mean? Does Shiki not like the fact that I don't think too much? Or does Shiki not like the fact that she is liking that part of me? I don't know why, but I somehow thought it had to be the latter.

"Well, that's enough explanations for today."

Standing up suddenly, SHIKI puts on the leather jacket.

"Bye~. I like you, so I'll see you again pretty soon."

Putting the money for the hamburger on the table, SHIKI leaves quickly.

◇

I Part with SHIKI and return to my neighborhood, the sun is setting already. Because of all the recent murder incidents not many people are out, even though the sun's only setting.

When I get home, my cousin, Daisuke Nii-san is there. I was tired from all that talk with SHIKI, so I go to the kotatsu and put my legs in it. Daisuke Nii-san also has his legs in there so we end up fighting for the small space inside without a word. In the end, I couldn't lay down, so I just had to get up.

"Aren't you busy, Daisuke-san?"

I ask him while taking a mandarin orange off the table. Daisuke Nii-san asnwers "Yeah".

"It's five people in three months, of course we're busy. I'm so busy I can't even go home to sleep. I have to get going again in about an hour."

Daisuke Nii-san is a police officer. It's an unfit job for such a lazy person.

"How's the investigation going?"

"It's all right. There weren't any clues until now but the killer finally left us something. Well, it does seem intentional though."

Saying that, Daisuke Nii-san lifts up his face. His serious face is right in front of mine.

"What I'm telling you is confidential. I'm going to tell you because this is something that's important to you. I told you about the first victim, right?"

Then, Daisuke Nii-san starts to describe the second and the third murder scene. ... I listen closely while hoping not all policemen in this world let out confidential matters this easily.

The second victim had its body cut vertically. From its head down to its groin. The weapon used is unknown. One of the cut remains was stuck to the wall.

The third victim had its arms and legs cut off, with the severed arms sewn onto the legs.

The fourth victim had its body cut into pieces and had some word-like symbol stamped on it.

The fifth victim was made to look like a manji using its arms and legs.

"It's easy to understand that the killer is abnormal."

I say this while trying to hold back my vomit, Daisuke Nii-san agrees.

"I think it's a bit intentional when it's too easy to understand, but what do you think?"

"... Let's see. I don't think it matters every one of them is killed by being cut apart. I can't say anything else, but..."

"But?"

"I just think the killer is getting used to this. The next one might not be outside."

"You're right." Daisuke Nii-san covers his face with his hands.

"There's no motive and there's no rules. It's only happening outside right now but this is a kind of a guy that would even come indoors. If this killer can't find anyone out at night, there's more motive for the killer to go into someone's house. I just wish the higher ranked guys would take that into consideration and be prepared for it."

"Well..." Daisuke Nii-san changes the subject.

"We found this by the fifth victim."

Daisuke Nii-san places our school badge on the table. It's considered unimportant with us not having uniforms and all, but we are required to wear this somewhere on us when going to school.

"I don't know if the killer didn't notice this because the scene of the crime was a grassy field or if the killer intentionally put this there. But either way, there has to be a meaning behind this. I might go over to your place sometime soon."

Making a cop-like face, he says an ominous thing.

== 3 ==

The winter vacation ended in a flash. The only thing that happened was I went to the shrine on new year with Shiki. But I think I led a normal life other than that.

When the third term started, Shiki isolated herself even more. She had that "rejection" air around her that even I noticed.

After making sure everyone else has left and going to the classroom, SHIKI would always be there. She doesn't do anything just stares out the window. I haven't been invited or called to come here. But I just can't leave this fragile girl alone, so I keep her company meaninglessly.

The sun sets early in the wintertime and the classroom is tinted red. In this classroom filled with just the color red and black, SHIKI is leaning against the window.

"Did I tell you that I hate people?"

Today, SHIKI starts to talk mindlessly.

"That's the first time I heard that... do you mean that?"

"Yeah, Shiki hates people. She was like that from when she was small. ... You see, when you're a child, you don't know anything. You think the whole world would love you unconditionally. Since you like them, they must like you... that feels like common sense."

"You're right. You never doubt anything when you're small. You unconditionally love them and you think it's only natural for them to love you back. The only things I was scared of were ghosts. Though, I'm scared of people now."

SHIKI nods in agreement.

"But that's a very important thing. You need to be pure, Kokuto. Since you only worry about yourself when you're small, you won't notice the evil minds of other people. Even if it's just a misunderstanding, the feeling of love you receive makes you able to be kind to others. Since people can only express the emotions they're familiar with."

The sunset illuminates her face red. At this moment, I cannot tell if she is SHIKI or Shiki, but it has no meaning at all which she is. Either way, this is just Shiki's monologue.

"But I'm different. I knew someone else since I was born. Since Shiki has SHIKI inside of her, she knew of others. She found out that there's other people who think differently and that they do not love you unconditionally. Since she found out as a child how ugly other people are, she could not love them. In time. she grew to pay them no attention. The only emotion Shiki has is rejection."

... That's why she hates people. SHIKI says so with her eyes. ... I feel like crying for no reason.

"But wasn't she lonely like that?"

"Why? Shiki has me. It's certainly lonely by yourself but Shiki isn't alone. She was isolated, but she wasn't alone."

SHIKI says so with a resolute face. There's no bluff in it and it seems she really is satisfied with that.

But really...?

Yet really...?

"But Shiki is acting weird recently. She has an abnormality in her called me, but she wants to deny me. Denying is my domain, and Shiki is supposed to be only able to affirm."

SHIKI laughs asking why that might be. It's a brutal looking smile.

"Kokuto, have you ever wanted to kill someone?"

At that instance, the sun paints her face red and makes my heart jump.

"Not so far. The most I've ever wanted was to punch someone."

"I see. But I only have that feeling."

Her voice echoes through the classroom.

"...... Huh?"

"I told you. Humans can only show emotions that they have experienced. I take on the forbidden taboos inside Shiki. What's low on Shiki's priorities is high on mine. I am content with that and I know that's why I exist. I am the personality that takes on Shiki's suppressed intentions. That's why I've always killed my will. I have been killing the dark side called SHIKI. I have killed myself over and over. See? The only thing I've experienced is killing things."

Then, she walks away from the window. Why... why do I think the person silently walking toward me is scary?

"So Kokuto, the definition of murder for Shiki is..."

A voice murmuring by my ear...

"... Is to eliminate, in self defense, anything that tries to open her up."

Smiling, SHIKI leaves the classroom. It was an innocent smile that one would give after playing a trick on you...

◇

On lunch break the next day...

When I asked Shiki if she wanted to have lunch with me, she looked really surprised. At this time, she showed me her surprised expression for the first time since I have met her.

"What a thing..."

Saying that, Shiki accepts my request. We head to the rooftop following Shiki's request. She is following silently behind me. Her silent stare is stabbing into my back. Maybe she's mad at me... no, she definitely is. ... Even I know what she meant by those words yesterday. It's her last warning telling me not to be involved with her, and that she doesn't know what she'll do if I did. But Shiki does not understand. That's something Shiki has always unconsciously told me, and I have already gotten used to it. When we get to the rooftop, no one is there. I guess being January and all, nobody else wanted to eat in this cold weather.

"It's cold, do you want to eat somewhere else?"

"No, I want to eat here. If you want to go somewhere else, please go ahead."

I tilt my head to Shiki's polite tone. We sit by the wall to avoid the wind. Shiki just sits there without opening her bread. In contrast, I have already finished my second sandwich.

"Why did you talk to me?"

Shiki's murmur is so sudden that I could not catch her words.

"Did you say something, Shiki?"

"I said, why are you so carefree?"

She says so with glaring eyes.

"That's terrible. I've been called excessively honest, but I've never been called carefree."

"I guess everyone was holding back."

Convinced selfishly, Shiki opens her egg sandwich. The sound of the wrapper suited the cold rooftop. Shiki sits there silently and nibbles on her sandwich. I have nothing to do as I'm already done. I think a meal needs to be accompanied by a conversation.

"Shiki, you must be a bit mad."

"... A bit?"

She glares at me. I scold myself in my mind for not thinking before I said something.

"I don't understand, but I get irritated when you're around. "Why do you involve yourself with me, why you don't act differently after being told all that yesterday," these are all things I don't understand."

"I don't know the reason either. It's fun being with you, but if you ask me why it's fun, I can't answer. Well, if you talk about yesterday, I guess you can say I'm optimistic."

"Kokutoh-kun, do you understand that I'm abnormal?"

I can only nod to those words. Her split personality is real and it is indeed not normal.

"Yeah, it's indeed not normal."

"Right. So then you should understand that I am not someone you could associate with normally."

"Abnormal or not, it doesn't matter when hanging out."

Shiki stops all movement. She stops time as if she's even forgotten how to breathe.

"But I cannot be like you."

Saying that, Shiki slides her fingers through her hair. Her kimono sways and I notice the bandage wrapped around her thin arm. The bandage wrapped around near her right elbow is quite new.

"Shiki, that wound..."

Before I get a chance to finish, Shiki stands up.

"If you don't understand with SHIKI's words, I'll tell you myself."

Shiki talks while looking off into the distance.

"If we keep this up, I will probably end up killing you."

... How could I have replied to those words?

After that, Shiki goes to the classroom leaving her trash behind. Being left alone, I first clean up the mess.

"... Geez, this is just like what Gakuto said."

I remember the conversation I had with Gakuto. Like Gakuto said, I might be stupid. I could not hate Shiki even after she completely rejected me. Rather, my mind has been cleared. There can only be one reason why it's fun being with Shiki.

"I already went mad a long time ago."

... Yeah, why didn't I notice this earlier?

... That I love Shiki so much that I can even laugh off her telling me she wants to kill me.

== 4 ==

It's the first Sunday in February. I Wake up and go to the dining room. Daisuke Nii-san is there, getting ready to leave.

"Oh, you were here?"

"Yo. I just came to sleep cause I missed the last train, but I'm gotta go to work now. I envy you students, your promise for vacation is always kept."

He looks like he hasn't had enough sleep. I bet he's busy with all the new information on that serial killer.

"You were talking about coming to my school, but what happened to that?"

"It seems we'll have to go there again. To tell you the truth, there was a sixth victim three days ago. I guess this victim struggled hard and we found the killer's skin in her nails. Women have long nails so I guess she scratched the killer's arm pretty bad. Maybe it was a desperate move but the scratch has to be deep. The skin we found was about 3 centimeters. (about 1 inch)."

This piece of information is a new one, it's not even on TV or in the newspapers yet. But I am shocked for a different reason. ... I think it's because in the past few days, Shiki has been using the omnious word "killing" quite a number of times. Why else would I imagine for an instant that Shiki would be this killer?

"... Scratch, you mean the killer has a wound?"

"Of course. Do you think the victim would scratch her own arm? We already figured out the skin is from around the elbow area. We have the blood diagnosed so the killer is done for now."

Daisuke Nii-san leaves. With power escaping my legs, I crumble onto the chair. Three days ago was the day I had that conversation with SHIKI in the setting sun. I think when I saw her the next day, the bandage was around her elbow...

Right around mid-day, I figure out it's no good just sitting here and thinking. Instead of this, I should just go to Shiki and ask her. If she tells me her wound is nothing related to it, this uneasiness would go away.

I decide to visit Shiki's house using the school's contact guide. Her house is in the outskirts of town, one station away from here. When I finally find her house, the sun is already setting. The mansion with bamboo trees surrounding it is oriental-styled. I cannot tell the size of this place just by looking. I wouldn't be able to tell exactly how big it is unless I get in a plane and get an overhead view of this place. I Walk through the bamboo woods on a path and reach a big gate. I'm a bit relieved that this old looking place has an intercom. After pushing it and saying what I came here for, a man in a black suit appears. I find out that this man around his thirties is Shiki's servant. This person called Akitaka talks with a stranger like me with manners. Unfortunately, Shiki isn't home. He offers me to stay and wait but I refuse. To be honest, I don't have the guts to go into this place alone.

I decide to go home since the sun has already set. I get to the station after an hour's walk and happen to run into Senpai. After being invited by him, we eat at a nearby restaurant and end up talking until ten. Unlike Senpai, I am a student so I have to start heading home soon. After saying goodbye to Senpai, I buy the ticket for the train at the station. It's almost eleven o'clock now. For a second I wonder if Shiki arrived home already.

"What the hell am I doing?"

I say this to myself as I walk through the nighttime residential district. It's late at night without a sign of life. I can't understand why I'm heading toward Shiki's house in this unfamiliar town. Even though I know I won't be able to see her, I at least want to see the lights in her house. I walk in the chilly winter air. I exit the residential district and end up facing a group of trees. I walk through the small road in the middle of it. Since there's no wind, the bamboos are silent. There are no streetlights, so the moon is my only guide. When I half-jokingly think what would happen if I got attacked here, the thought starts to fill me. The image gets stronger in my head in contrast to my mind wanting to get rid of it. When I was a kid, I was scared of ghosts. The shadows in between the bamboo looked like ghosts and I would be frightened. But now, I'm scared of other people. I'm only scared of the fact that someone might be hiding in the bushes. ...Since when did the unknown ghosts turn into other humans?

The more I try to calm down, the more the bad feeling seeps into me. ...Really, this bad feeling does not go away. Oh yeah, I think Shiki was saying the same thing before. I think that was... While I try to recall, I see something ahead of me.

"......"

I stop dead in my tracks. It's not my will, because right now... my mind is totally empty.

A white figure stands few meters ahead. The white kimono that looks bright is covered with red spots. The red spots on the kimono expand. It's because the thing in front of her is spilling red liquid everywhere. The one in the white kimono is Shiki and the ''thing'' is not a fountain, but a dead person.

"........."

I cannot say anything. But I always thought about this somewhere in my mind, this image of Shiki standing in front of a dead body. That's why I'm not surprised or making a commotion. My mind is just completely blank. The body must have recently died... the blood would not flow out that much unless you cut its artery while it was alive. It has a wound is on the neck and an angled cut on its body. Shiki is silently staring at the dead body. The color of the spilled blood is enough to make you faint, but its organs are spilling out from the cut and making the body look like a totally different thing. To me, it seems like something slimy is trying to have a human form, but it's doing such a bad job that it's hard to look at. ... If you are a normal human being, there's no way you can look at it. But Shiki is staring at the dead body. Blood gets on her ghost-like kimono. The spots look like red butterflies. The butterflies are flying toward Shiki's face too. The face covered with blood is deformed. Is it because of fear or pleasure? Is she Shiki... or SHIKI?

"..........."

I try to say something and I collapse onto the ground. I vomit. I vomit out everything in my stomach, stomach acid, and if I could, this memory too... I vomit until I start to cry. But it's no good. It doesn't even make me feel better. The amount of blood is so much and the smell so overwhelming that it seeps into my brain.

Eventually, Shiki notices me. Her head turns to look at me. The expressionless face shows a smile. It's so pure it makes me rather clam. The smile reminds me of a mother. That smile is so unfitting to this whole scene that...

It makes me shiver.

I start to faint as she draws closer. I remember Shiki's words at the last moment.

... "Be careful Kokutoh-kun. A bad presentiment tends to attract bad reality."

... I guess I was stupid indeed. Because I tried not to think about this bad reality until the moment I saw it with my own eyes...

== 5 ==

I end up not going to school the next day. It's because I was found by a policeman while I stood absent-mindedly at the scene of the crime, and was taken into questioning.

I heard I could not say anything for a few hours. It took me about four hours before my mind returned... I guess my brain doesn't have that good of a recovery system. Anyways, after I was questioned and released, it was too late to go to school.

By how the man was killed, it's impossible to not have blood on your clothes. Fortunately, I did not have any blood on me and being the relative of Daisuke Nii-san, I think my questioning went rather smoothly. Daisuke Nii-san offered me a ride home so I took it.

"So you didn't see anyone, Mikiya?"

"You're being too persistent. I said I didn't see anyone."

I glare at Daisuke Nii-san and sit deep in my seat.

"I see. Damn! It would have helped if you've seen the killer... but I guess the killer wouldn't have let you go alive if you saw him. I can't let you die, so I guess it's a good thing for me you didn't see anyone."

"You're not a good policeman, Daisuke-san."

I hate myself for being able to respond to him in such a normal tone. I call myself a liar in my head. ... I can't believe that I can lie with such a straight face. And these are police matters we're talking about here. If I don't tell the truth, things can only get worse. ... But still, I did not say anything about Shiki being at the scene of the crime.

"Well, I'm glad you're not hurt. So, what's your impression on the first dead body you saw?"

This mean person asks me such a question in this situation.

"Terrible. I don't ever want to see it again."

"This one is special. It's not as bad as what is normally seen so relax."

What does he want me to be relaxed about?

"But it's a small world we live in. I didn't know you knew the daughter of the Ryohgi family."

The fact that might make him happy gets me more depressed. ... The murder that happened in front of Ryohgi's house is treated as the same killer's work but the investigation stopped from there. Even the police left the territory of the Ryohgis after their inspection. From what he says, it's because of the pressure from the Ryohgis. It was recorded that this murder happened in between eleven and twelve at night on February third (Sunday), and the only witness is Kokutoh Mikiya. But it's recorded that I was there only after the crime has occurred and that I was in a state of shock seeing the scene of the crime. The Ryohgi family and I have not said anything about Shiki.

"But didn't you investigate the people of the Ryohgi?"

Daisuke-san shakes his head to my question.

"The daughter of that place goes to your high school, so I wanted to ask them about it but they refused. They said they didn't care about what happened outside their house. But from the way I see it, they are innocent, they have nothing to do with the crime."

"Huh?"

I let it out without thinking. I trust Daisuke Nii-san even if it seems like I don't. It's even famous in the workplace that this person hasnt been fired due to his superior skill. So that's why I thought he might suspect Shiki.

"Why do you think so?"

"Hmm, well... do you think such a beautiful girl would kill someone? You don't, right? I don't think so too. This is an obvious answer for a guy."

... Why did he ever decide to be a policeman? No, more than that, I sigh at how much more carefree he is than me.

"I see. You'll be single for the rest of your life."

"Hey now, I can put you in jail."

I'll be released because of lack of proof. ... But I agree with his opinion. Even though I don't have the hunch like he does, it is my opinion that Shiki is not the killer. Even if she admits it herself, I believe she is not the one. So now, there is something I must do.

----

The crime neared it's solution.

Then from that day until that day three years later, the killer would cease to appear. For me at that time, that incident seemed like it did not concern me. But that happened to be the first and the last incident which involved both Shiki and me.

Murder Study (Part 1)・Finish

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 04

2007-02-06T01:28:45Z

Bored tenshi: /* 4 */

Murder Study (Part 1)／

== 1 ==

"Mikiya, is it true that you're going out with Ryohgi?"

I almost spew out my coffee milk to Gakuto's words. I look around while coughing. Fortunately, the lunchtime classroom is loud and no one seems to have heard Gakuto's nonsense.

"What do you mean by that, Gakuto?"

Gakuto looks rather amazed when I question him.

"What are you saying? It's a known fact for everyone that Kokutoh of class 1-C has a crush on Ryohgi. The only ones who don't know are you two."

I think I frowned to those words.

It's been seven months since I first met Shiki. It's already November, right near winter.

... Certainly it's not weird for anyone to start going out after that much time.

"Gakuto, that's just a misunderstanding. We're just friends, and nothing more."

"Really?"

The hopeful of the judo club frowns his face. In contrast to his name, which means "educated person", this guy, who has been my friend since elementary school, is the athletic type. From our long relationship, he must have figured out I wasn't lying.

"But you call her by her first name. There's no way that Ryohgi would allow just a classmate to call her like that."

"Hey now. Shiki doesn't like that. She glared at me when I called her Ryohgi-san before. People ''say'' you can kill someone by looking at them, but Shiki definitely has that potential. Anyways, she says she hates people calling her by her last name, so she says it's fine if I just call her "you". But since I didn't like that, I compromised with "Shiki-san". She didn't like that either, so it ended up with just Shiki. That is the boring truth."

Telling Gakuto about what happened in April, he agrees that it was indeed a boring development.

"I see. That sure is an unromantic story."

Gakuto says this disappointedly. ...What kind of an answer was he hoping for?

"So that thing last week at the school entrance was nothing either? Damn, it was a waste of time coming here. I should have just eaten lunch in my classroom."

"... Hold on. How do you know about that?"

"I told you, you guys are famous. Everyone at the school already knows you and Ryohgi were getting shelter from the rain together by the entrance last Saturday. Since its Ryohgi, even small things like that catch everyone's attention."

I sigh and look up. All I can hope for now is that Shiki will never hear about this.

"This is a school to get you ready for college right? I'm starting to wonder if everyone's really studying."

"According to the teachers, employment rate is good for students who graduated from here."

... I have to question how this school is run.

"But man, why Ryohgi? It just doesn't fit you."

I remember being said something like that by my Senpais.

They told me a quiet, gentle girl would suit me. I guess Gakuto is on the same line too.

... I get a bit angry.

"Shiki isn't such a scary girl."

I let it slip out my mouth..

Gakuto grins. ...He looks like he knows I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"What do you mean she's just your friend? That's definitely a hard girl. The fact that you don't see it is proof that you're too crazy about that girl."

He must mean hard-headed when he says hard. I know he's right, but I didn't want to just give in and nod.

"I already know that."

"Then what's so good about her? Her looks?"

Gakuto is holding nothing back.

Indeed Shiki is beautiful. But with that aside, Shiki attracts me. Shiki always seems like she's about to get hurt. In reality, she's firm enough not to get hurt, but she seems to be really fragile. That's probably why I can't ignore her. I don't want to see her get hurt.

"It's just something that you don't notice. Even Shiki has her cute points. ...Let's see, if I think of her as an animal, she's cute enough to be a rabbit."

Suddenly, i regret saying that

"Don't be stupid. She's definitely in the cat family, and probably the beast ones too. A rabbit is too far off, way too far. Is Ryohgi the type that would die out of loneliness?"

Gakuto laughs his ass off.

But I think she's like a rabbit in that she doesn't become attached to people and how she looks at others from a distance. ... Huh, if that's just me, then fine.

"All right. I won't talk to you about girls anymore."

Gakuto quits laughing once I tell him that.

"You might be right. A rabbit suits her well."

"Gakuto, a frank agreement is rather offensive."

"I mean it. I remembered that rabbits were dangerous too. In this world, there are rabbits that chop off your head if you're unlucky."

I hesitate being said that in a serious tone.

"That's a pretty amazing rabbit."

Gakuto nods.

"Of course, cause I'm talking about the world of gaming."

== 2 ==

I saw an unbelievable thing on the day the exam ended for the second quarter.

There was a letter in my desk. No, that itself isn't too weird. The problem is the sender and its content. To put it simply, it was from Shiki, asking me out on a date.

It sounded like a threat telling me to take her out somewhere tomorrow. I went home all confused and waited for the next day to come, feeling like a samurai told to kill himself the next day.

◇

"Yo, Kokuto."

That was the first word Shiki said to me when she came. She came to our meeting place, the dog statue in front of the station, with a red leather jacker over her kimono. More than her outfit, I was confused by how she spoke.

"Did ya wait? Sorry man. It took me awhile to shake off Akitaka."

She says this as if it's perfectly natural for her.

She sounds like a guy, not like the Shiki I know. Not being able to answer, I check her figure again. There's nothing different in her looks. She has a small body, but because of her valiant gestures, she looks powerful... no, rather graceful. She has the unbalancedness of a lively puppet, a puppet made well, but just on the outside.

"What? You angry just cause I'm an hour late? You're pretty intolerant, man."

Shiki looks at me with her black eyes. Her beautiful short black hair. A small face and big eyes, they both are beautiful. The black eyes are reflecting the figure of Kokutoh Mikiya, but it seems to be seeing something farther away. ... Come to think of it, I was attracted to these eyes since that snowy day when we met

"Um... you're Shiki, right?"

"Yeah", Shiki laughs. A strange smile that's more like a grin.

"What else do I look like? We're wasting time like this. Come on, take me somewhere. I'll let you decide, Kokuto."

Saying that, Shiki starts to walk taking my arm forcefully.

... She said she'll let me decide, but since I was confused, I didn't even notice that she was leading the way...

We walked a lot.

Shiki didn't do much shopping, but she would go into a store in the department store and look around, and goes to the next one when she gets bored. My request to take a rest at the cafe or a movie theater was denied. ... But she's right. It would have been boring to go to such places with the way Shiki is acting right now.

Shiki talked a lot. If I'm not mistaken, she seemed excited. How should I say this... she's mentally high?

Most of the stores she went to were cloth-oriented, but I was relieved every one of them were stores for women. Shiki must have gotten tired from looking through four department stores in four hours, as she says she wants to eat.

We wander around and end up in a fast food joint. Shiki takes off her jacket once she takes a seat. She catches peoples attention with that kimono outfit but it seems she doesn't care at all. Making up my mind, I ask her about what I've been wondering all this time.

"Shiki, you actually talk like that all the time?"

"In my case. But there's no meaning in how someone talks. Even you can change that."

Shiki eats the hamburger like it doesn't taste good.

"Well, this kind of thing never happened before. Today's the first day that I came outside. I didn't say anything until now cause I had the same opinion as Shiki."

... I don't get it at all.

"Let's see... It's a split personality to put it simply. I'm SHIKI and the normal one is Shiki. SHIKI is from the word, "weaved cloth." But Shiki and I are not different people. The only difference between us is the priorities of things. The ranks of what we like are different."

Saying that, she writes on her napkin using her wet fingers. The white finger writes the word Shiki and SHIKI.

"I wanted to talk with Kokuto, that's all. Since it's not something Shiki wanted to do, I'm doing it in her place. Do ya understand?"

"Well, kind of."

I answer uneasily. But I actually have felt what SHIKI is talking about. I think something similar to that happened to me before. Before I entered high school, I met Shiki, but she said she didn't remember it. At that time I thought she said that because she hated me, but after hearing this, it makes sense.

No, more than that. After spending all day with her i can tell she is the same Shiki. As Shiki, no, as SHIKI says, she only talks differently, but her actions are the same. They are so similar I'm starting to feel there's nothing different about her now.

"But why did you tell me about that?"

"I thought I wouldn't be able to hide it from ya much longer."

Shiki takes another drink. She puts her mouth on the straw and lets go quickly... Shiki doesn't like cold things.

"To be honest, I'm like Shiki's subversive impulse. This was something that she really wanted to do. But up to now, there was no one I wanted to do it with, because Ryohgi Shiki was uninterested in everyone."

SHIKI says so like she's not interested. I could not move, being stared at by those deep black eyes.

"Yeah, but you rest assured, I'm still Shiki. I'm just saying what Shiki thinks. Like I told ya, we just talk differently. ... Well, but we're beginning to get out of line, so don't take me too seriously."

"Out of line? ... You mean you and Shiki get into a fights?"

"Hey, how can you get in a fight with yourself? No matter what I do, it has to be something we both wanted, so we both have no complaints. No matter how much I fight, Shiki has control over this body. I'm seeing you like this because Shiki thought it was all right too. ... Well, she'll probably regret saying things like this. It's not something Shiki would say, right?"

I agree.

SHIKI laughs.

"I like those kind of things about you. But Shiki doesn't. That's what I mean by being out of line."

...? What does that mean? Does Shiki not like the fact that I don't think too much? Or does Shiki not like the fact that she is liking that part of me? I don't know why, but I somehow thought it had to be the latter.

"Well, that's enough explanations for today."

Standing up suddenly, SHIKI puts on the leather jacket.

"Bye~. I like you, so I'll see you again pretty soon."

Putting the money for the hamburger on the table, SHIKI leaves quickly.

◇

I Part with SHIKI and return to my neighborhood, the sun is setting already. Because of all the recent murder incidents not many people are out, even though the sun's only setting.

When I get home, my cousin, Daisuke Nii-san is there. I was tired from all that talk with SHIKI, so I go to the kotatsu and put my legs in it. Daisuke Nii-san also has his legs in there so we end up fighting for the small space inside without a word. In the end, I couldn't lay down, so I just had to get up.

"Aren't you busy, Daisuke-san?"

I ask him while taking a mandarin orange off the table. Daisuke Nii-san asnwers "Yeah".

"It's five people in three months, of course we're busy. I'm so busy I can't even go home to sleep. I have to get going again in about an hour."

Daisuke Nii-san is a police officer. It's an unfit job for such a lazy person.

"How's the investigation going?"

"It's all right. There weren't any clues until now but the killer finally left us something. Well, it does seem intentional though."

Saying that, Daisuke Nii-san lifts up his face. His serious face is right in front of mine.

"What I'm telling you is confidential. I'm going to tell you because this is something that's important to you. I told you about the first victim, right?"

Then, Daisuke Nii-san starts to describe the second and the third murder scene. ... I listen closely while hoping not all policemen in this world let out confidential matters this easily.

The second victim had its body cut vertically. From its head down to its groin. The weapon used is unknown. One of the cut remains was stuck to the wall.

The third victim had its arms and legs cut off, with the severed arms sewn onto the legs.

The fourth victim had its body cut into pieces and had some word-like symbol stamped on it.

The fifth victim was made to look like a manji using its arms and legs.

"It's easy to understand that the killer is abnormal."

I say this while trying to hold back my vomit, Daisuke Nii-san agrees.

"I think it's a bit intentional when it's too easy to understand, but what do you think?"

"... Let's see. I don't think it matters every one of them is killed by being cut apart. I can't say anything else, but..."

"But?"

"I just think the killer is getting used to this. The next one might not be outside."

"You're right." Daisuke Nii-san covers his face with his hands.

"There's no motive and there's no rules. It's only happening outside right now but this is a kind of a guy that would even come indoors. If this killer can't find anyone out at night, there's more motive for the killer to go into someone's house. I just wish the higher ranked guys would take that into consideration and be prepared for it."

"Well..." Daisuke Nii-san changes the subject.

"We found this by the fifth victim."

Daisuke Nii-san places our school badge on the table. It's considered unimportant with us not having uniforms and all, but we are required to wear this somewhere on us when going to school.

"I don't know if the killer didn't notice this because the scene of the crime was a grassy field or if the killer intentionally put this there. But either way, there has to be a meaning behind this. I might go over to your place sometime soon."

Making a cop-like face, he says an ominous thing.

== 3 ==

The winter vacation ended in a flash. The only thing that happened was I went to the shrine on new year with Shiki. But I think I led a normal life other than that.

When the third term started, Shiki isolated herself even more. She had that "rejection" air around her that even I noticed.

After making sure everyone else has left and going to the classroom, SHIKI would always be there. She doesn't do anything just stares out the window. I haven't been invited or called to come here. But I just can't leave this fragile girl alone, so I keep her company meaninglessly.

The sun sets early in the wintertime and the classroom is tinted red. In this classroom filled with just the color red and black, SHIKI is leaning against the window.

"Did I tell you that I hate people?"

Today, SHIKI starts to talk mindlessly.

"That's the first time I heard that... do you mean that?"

"Yeah, Shiki hates people. She was like that from when she was small. ... You see, when you're a child, you don't know anything. You think the whole world would love you unconditionally. Since you like them, they must like you... that feels like common sense."

"You're right. You never doubt anything when you're small. You unconditionally love them and you think it's only natural for them to love you back. The only things I was scared of were ghosts. Though, I'm scared of people now."

SHIKI nods in agreement.

"But that's a very important thing. You need to be pure, Kokuto. Since you only worry about yourself when you're small, you won't notice the evil minds of other people. Even if it's just a misunderstanding, the feeling of love you receive makes you able to be kind to others. Since people can only express the emotions they're familiar with."

The sunset illuminates her face red. At this moment, I cannot tell if she is SHIKI or Shiki, but it has no meaning at all which she is. Either way, this is just Shiki's monologue.

"But I'm different. I knew someone else since I was born. Since Shiki has SHIKI inside of her, she knew of others. She found out that there's other people who think differently and that they do not love you unconditionally. Since she found out as a child how ugly other people are, she could not love them. In time. she grew to pay them no attention. The only emotion Shiki has is rejection."

... That's why she hates people. SHIKI says so with her eyes. ... I feel like crying for no reason.

"But wasn't she lonely like that?"

"Why? Shiki has me. It's certainly lonely by yourself but Shiki isn't alone. She was isolated, but she wasn't alone."

SHIKI says so with a resolute face. There's no bluff in it and it seems she really is satisfied with that.

But really...?

Yet really...?

"But Shiki is acting weird recently. She has an abnormality in her called me, but she wants to deny me. Denying is my domain, and Shiki is supposed to be only able to affirm."

SHIKI laughs asking why that might be. It's a brutal looking smile.

"Kokuto, have you ever wanted to kill someone?"

At that instance, the sun paints her face red and makes my heart jump.

"Not so far. The most I've ever wanted was to punch someone."

"I see. But I only have that feeling."

Her voice echoes through the classroom.

"...... Huh?"

"I told you. Humans can only show emotions that they have experienced. I take on the forbidden taboos inside Shiki. What's low on Shiki's priorities is high on mine. I am content with that and I know that's why I exist. I am the personality that takes on Shiki's suppressed intentions. That's why I've always killed my will. I have been killing the dark side called SHIKI. I have killed myself over and over. See? The only thing I've experienced is killing things."

Then, she walks away from the window. Why... why do I think the person silently walking toward me is scary?

"So Kokuto, the definition of murder for Shiki is..."

A voice murmuring by my ear...

"... Is to eliminate, in self defense, anything that tries to open her up."

Smiling, SHIKI leaves the classroom. It was an innocent smile that one would give after playing a trick on you...

◇

On lunch break the next day...

When I asked Shiki if she wanted to have lunch with me, she looked really surprised. At this time, she showed me her surprised expression for the first time since I have met her.

"What a thing..."

Saying that, Shiki accepts my request. We head to the rooftop following Shiki's request. She is following silently behind me. Her silent stare is stabbing into my back. Maybe she's mad at me... no, she definitely is. ... Even I know what she meant by those words yesterday. It's her last warning telling me not to be involved with her, and that she doesn't know what she'll do if I did. But Shiki does not understand. That's something Shiki has always unconsciously told me, and I have already gotten used to it. When we get to the rooftop, no one is there. I guess being January and all, nobody else wanted to eat in this cold weather.

"It's cold, do you want to eat somewhere else?"

"No, I want to eat here. If you want to go somewhere else, please go ahead."

I tilt my head to Shiki's polite tone. We sit by the wall to avoid the wind. Shiki just sits there without opening her bread. In contrast, I have already finished my second sandwich.

"Why did you talk to me?"

Shiki's murmur is so sudden that I could not catch her words.

"Did you say something, Shiki?"

"I said, why are you so carefree?"

She says so with glaring eyes.

"That's terrible. I've been called excessively honest, but I've never been called carefree."

"I guess everyone was holding back."

Convinced selfishly, Shiki opens her egg sandwich. The sound of the wrapper suited the cold rooftop. Shiki sits there silently and nibbles on her sandwich. I have nothing to do as I'm already done. I think a meal needs to be accompanied by a conversation.

"Shiki, you must be a bit mad."

"... A bit?"

She glares at me. I scold myself in my mind for not thinking before I said something.

"I don't understand, but I get irritated when you're around. "Why do you involve yourself with me, why you don't act differently after being told all that yesterday," these are all things I don't understand."

"I don't know the reason either. It's fun being with you, but if you ask me why it's fun, I can't answer. Well, if you talk about yesterday, I guess you can say I'm optimistic."

"Kokutoh-kun, do you understand that I'm abnormal?"

I can only nod to those words. Her split personality is real and it is indeed not normal.

"Yeah, it's indeed not normal."

"Right. So then you should understand that I am not someone you could associate with normally."

"Abnormal or not, it doesn't matter when hanging out."

Shiki stops all movement. She stops time as if she's even forgotten how to breathe.

"But I cannot be like you."

Saying that, Shiki slides her fingers through her hair. Her kimono sways and I notice the bandage wrapped around her thin arm. The bandage wrapped around near her right elbow is quite new.

"Shiki, that wound..."

Before I get a chance to finish, Shiki stands up.

"If you don't understand with SHIKI's words, I'll tell you myself."

Shiki talks while looking off into the distance.

"If we keep this up, I will probably end up killing you."

... How could I have replied to those words?

After that, Shiki goes to the classroom leaving her trash behind. Being left alone, I first clean up the mess.

"... Geez, this is just like what Gakuto said."

I remember the conversation I had with Gakuto. Like Gakuto said, I might be stupid. I could not hate Shiki even after she completely rejected me. Rather, my mind has been cleared. There can only be one reason why it's fun being with Shiki.

"I already went mad a long time ago."

... Yeah, why didn't I notice this earlier?

... That I love Shiki so much that I can even laugh off her telling me she wants to kill me.

== 4 ==

It's the first Sunday in February. I Wake up and go to the dining room. Daisuke Nii-san is there, getting ready to leave.

"Oh, you were here?"

"Yo. I just came to sleep cause I missed the last train, but I'm gotta go to work now. I envy you students, your promise for vacation is always kept."

He looks like he hasn't had enough sleep. I bet he's busy with all the new information on that serial killer.

"You were talking about coming to my school, but what happened to that?"

"It seems we'll have to go there again. To tell you the truth, there was a sixth victim three days ago. I guess this victim struggled hard and we found the killer's skin in her nails. Women have long nails so I guess she scratched the killer's arm pretty bad. Maybe it was a desperate move but the scratch has to be deep. The skin we found was about 3 centimeters. (about 1 inch)."

This piece of information is a new one, it's not even on TV or in the newspapers yet. But I am shocked for a different reason. ... I think it's because in the past few days, Shiki has been using the omnious word "killing" quite a number of times. Why else would I imagine for an instant that Shiki would be this killer?

"... Scratch, you mean the killer has a wound?"

"Of course. Do you think the victim would scratch her own arm? We already figured out the skin is from around the elbow area. We have the blood diagnosed so the killer is done for now."

Daisuke Nii-san leaves. With power escaping my legs, I crumble onto the chair. Three days ago was the day I had that conversation with SHIKI in the setting sun. I think when I saw her the next day, the bandage was around her elbow...

Right around mid-day, I figure out it's no good just sitting here and thinking. Instead of this, I should just go to Shiki and ask her. If she tells me her wound is nothing related to it, this uneasiness would go away.

I decide to visit Shiki's house using the school's contact guide. Her house is in the outskirts of town, one station away from here. When I finally find her house, the sun is already setting. The mansion with bamboo trees surrounding it is oriental-styled. I cannot tell the size of this place just by looking. I wouldn't be able to tell exactly how big it is unless I get in a plane and get an overhead view of this place. I Walk through the bamboo woods on a path and reach a big gate. I'm a bit relieved that this old looking place has an intercom. After pushing it and saying what I came here for, a man in a black suit appears. I find out that this man around his thirties is Shiki's servant. This person called Akitaka talks with a stranger like me with manners. Unfortunately, Shiki isn't home. He offers me to stay and wait but I refuse. To be honest, I don't have the guts to go into this place alone.

I decide to go home since the sun has already set. I get to the station after an hour's walk and happen to run into Senpai. After being invited by him, we eat at a nearby restaurant and end up talking until ten. Unlike Senpai, I am a student so I have to start heading home soon. After saying goodbye to Senpai, I buy the ticket for the train at the station. It's almost eleven o'clock now. For a second I wonder if Shiki arrived home already.

"What the hell am I doing?"

I say this to myself as I walk through the nighttime residential district. It's late at night without a sign of life. I can't understand why I'm heading toward Shiki's house in this unfamiliar town. Even though I know I won't be able to see her, I at least want to see the lights in her house. I walk in the chilly winter air. I exit the residential district and end up facing a group of trees. I walk through the small road in the middle of it. Since there's no wind, the bamboos are silent. There are no streetlights, so the moon is my only guide. When I half-jokingly think what would happen if I got attacked here, the thought starts to fill me. The image gets stronger in my head in contrast to my mind wanting to get rid of it. When I was a kid, I was scared of ghosts. The shadows in between the bamboo looked like ghosts and I would be frightened. But now, I'm scared of other people. I'm only scared of the fact that someone might be hiding in the bushes. ...Since when did the unknown ghosts turn into other humans?

The more I try to calm down, the more the bad feeling seeps into me. ...Really, this bad feeling does not go away. Oh yeah, I think Shiki was saying the same thing before. I think that was... While I try to recall, I see something ahead of me.

"......"

I stop dead in my tracks. It's not my will, because right now... my mind is totally empty.

A white figure stands few meters ahead. The white kimono that looks bright is covered with red spots. The red spots on the kimono expand. It's because the thing in front of her is spilling red liquid everywhere. The one in the white kimono is Shiki and the ''thing'' is not a fountain, but a dead person.

"........."

I cannot say anything. But I always thought about this somewhere in my mind, this image of Shiki standing in front of a dead body. That's why I'm not surprised or making a commotion. My mind is just completely blank. The body must have recently died... the blood would not flow out that much unless you cut its artery while it was alive. It has a wound is on the neck and an angled cut on its body. Shiki is silently staring at the dead body. The color of the spilled blood is enough to make you faint, but its organs are spilling out from the cut and making the body look like a totally different thing. To me, it seems like something slimy is trying to have a human form, but it's doing such a bad job that it's hard to look at. ... If you are a normal human being, there's no way you can look at it. But Shiki is staring at the dead body. Blood gets on her ghost-like kimono. The spots look like red butterflies. The butterflies are flying toward Shiki's face too. The face covered with blood is deformed. Is it because of fear or pleasure? Is she Shiki... or SHIKI?

"..........."

I try to say something and I collapse onto the ground. I vomit. I vomit out everything in my stomach, stomach acid, and if I could, this memory too... I vomit until I start to cry. But it's no good. It doesn't even make me feel better. The amount of blood is so much and the smell so overwhelming that it seeps into my brain.

Eventually, Shiki notices me. Her head turns to look at me. The expressionless face shows a smile. It's so pure it makes me rather clam. The smile reminds me of a mother. That smile is so unfitting to this whole scene that...

It makes me shiver.

I start to faint as she draws closer. I remember Shiki's words at the last moment.

... "Be careful Kokutoh-kun. A bad presentiment tends to attract bad reality."

... I guess I was stupid indeed. Because I tried not to think about this bad reality until the moment I saw it with my own eyes...

== 5 ==

I end up not going to school the next day. It's because I was found by a policeman while I stood at the scene of the crime absent-mindedly, and was taken into questioning.

I heard I could not say anything for a few hours. It took me about four hours before my mind returned... I guess my brain doesn't have that good of a recovery system. Anyways, after I was questioned and released, it was too late to go to school.

By how the man was killed, it's impossible to not have blood on your clothes. Fortunately, I did not have any blood on me and being the relative of Daisuke Nii-san, I think my questioning went rather smoothly. Daisuke Nii-san offered me a ride home so I took it.

"So you didn't see anyone, Mikiya?"

"You're being too persistent. I said I didn't see anyone."

I glare at Daisuke Nii-san and sit deep in my seat.

"I see. Damn! It would have helped if you've seen the killer... but I guess the killer wouldn't have let you go alive if you saw him. I can't let you die, so I guess it's a good thing for me you didn't see anyone."

"You're not a good policeman, Daisuke-san."

I hate myself for being able to respond to him in a normal tone. I call myself a liar in my head. ... I can't believe myself that I can lie with such a straight face. And these are police matters we're talking about here. If I don't tell the truth, things can only get worse. ... But still, I did not say anything about Shiki being at the scene of the crime.

"Well, I'm glad you're not hurt. So, what's your impression on the first dead body you saw?"

This mean person asks me such a question in this situation.

"Terrible. I don't ever want to see it again."

"This one is special. It's not as bad normally so be rest assured."

What does he want me to be assured on?

"But it's a small world we live in. I didn't know you knew the daughter of the Ryohgi family."

The fact that might make him happy gets me more depressed. ... The murder that happened in front of Ryohgi's house is treated as the same killer's work but the investigation stopped from there. Even the police left the territory of the Ryohgis after their inspection. From what he says, it's because of the pressure from the Ryohgis. It was recorded that this murder happened in between eleven and twelve at night on February third (Sunday), and the only witness is Kokutoh Mikiya. But it's recorded that I was there only after the crime has occurred and that I was in a state of shock seeing the scene of the crime. The Ryohgi family and I have not said anything about Shiki.

"But didn't you investigate the people of the Ryohgi?"

Daisuke-san shakes his head to my question.

"The daughter of that place goes to your high school, so I wanted to ask them about it but they refused. They said they didn't care about what happened outside their house. But from the way I see it, they are innocent, they have nothing to do with the crime."

"Huh?"

I let it out without thinking. I trust Daisuke Nii-san even if it seems like I don't. It's even famous in the workplace that this person is not fired because of his superior skill. So that's why I thought he might suspect Shiki.

"Why do you think so?"

"Hmm, well... do you think such a beautiful girl would kill someone? You don't, right? I don't think so too. This is an obvious answer for as a guy."

... Why did he ever decide to be a policeman? No, more than that, I sigh at how much more carefree he is than me.

"I see. You'll be single for the rest of your life."

"Hey now, I can put you in jail."

I'll be released because of lack of proof. ... But I agree with his opinion. Even though I don't have the hunch like he does, it is my opinion that Shiki is not the killer. Even if she admits it herself, I believe she is not the one. So now, there is something I must do.

----

The crime neared it's solution.

Then from that day until that day three years later, the killer would cease to appear. For me at that time, that incident seemed like it did not concern me. But that happened to be the first and the last incident which involved both Shiki and me.

Murder Study (Part 1)・Finish

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 04

2007-02-06T01:05:37Z

Bored tenshi: /* 3 */

Murder Study (Part 1)／

== 1 ==

"Mikiya, is it true that you're going out with Ryohgi?"

I almost spew out my coffee milk to Gakuto's words. I look around while coughing. Fortunately, the lunchtime classroom is loud and no one seems to have heard Gakuto's nonsense.

"What do you mean by that, Gakuto?"

Gakuto looks rather amazed when I question him.

"What are you saying? It's a known fact for everyone that Kokutoh of class 1-C has a crush on Ryohgi. The only ones who don't know are you two."

I think I frowned to those words.

It's been seven months since I first met Shiki. It's already November, right near winter.

... Certainly it's not weird for anyone to start going out after that much time.

"Gakuto, that's just a misunderstanding. We're just friends, and nothing more."

"Really?"

The hopeful of the judo club frowns his face. In contrast to his name, which means "educated person", this guy, who has been my friend since elementary school, is the athletic type. From our long relationship, he must have figured out I wasn't lying.

"But you call her by her first name. There's no way that Ryohgi would allow just a classmate to call her like that."

"Hey now. Shiki doesn't like that. She glared at me when I called her Ryohgi-san before. People ''say'' you can kill someone by looking at them, but Shiki definitely has that potential. Anyways, she says she hates people calling her by her last name, so she says it's fine if I just call her "you". But since I didn't like that, I compromised with "Shiki-san". She didn't like that either, so it ended up with just Shiki. That is the boring truth."

Telling Gakuto about what happened in April, he agrees that it was indeed a boring development.

"I see. That sure is an unromantic story."

Gakuto says this disappointedly. ...What kind of an answer was he hoping for?

"So that thing last week at the school entrance was nothing either? Damn, it was a waste of time coming here. I should have just eaten lunch in my classroom."

"... Hold on. How do you know about that?"

"I told you, you guys are famous. Everyone at the school already knows you and Ryohgi were getting shelter from the rain together by the entrance last Saturday. Since its Ryohgi, even small things like that catch everyone's attention."

I sigh and look up. All I can hope for now is that Shiki will never hear about this.

"This is a school to get you ready for college right? I'm starting to wonder if everyone's really studying."

"According to the teachers, employment rate is good for students who graduated from here."

... I have to question how this school is run.

"But man, why Ryohgi? It just doesn't fit you."

I remember being said something like that by my Senpais.

They told me a quiet, gentle girl would suit me. I guess Gakuto is on the same line too.

... I get a bit angry.

"Shiki isn't such a scary girl."

I let it slip out my mouth..

Gakuto grins. ...He looks like he knows I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"What do you mean she's just your friend? That's definitely a hard girl. The fact that you don't see it is proof that you're too crazy about that girl."

He must mean hard-headed when he says hard. I know he's right, but I didn't want to just give in and nod.

"I already know that."

"Then what's so good about her? Her looks?"

Gakuto is holding nothing back.

Indeed Shiki is beautiful. But with that aside, Shiki attracts me. Shiki always seems like she's about to get hurt. In reality, she's firm enough not to get hurt, but she seems to be really fragile. That's probably why I can't ignore her. I don't want to see her get hurt.

"It's just something that you don't notice. Even Shiki has her cute points. ...Let's see, if I think of her as an animal, she's cute enough to be a rabbit."

Suddenly, i regret saying that

"Don't be stupid. She's definitely in the cat family, and probably the beast ones too. A rabbit is too far off, way too far. Is Ryohgi the type that would die out of loneliness?"

Gakuto laughs his ass off.

But I think she's like a rabbit in that she doesn't become attached to people and how she looks at others from a distance. ... Huh, if that's just me, then fine.

"All right. I won't talk to you about girls anymore."

Gakuto quits laughing once I tell him that.

"You might be right. A rabbit suits her well."

"Gakuto, a frank agreement is rather offensive."

"I mean it. I remembered that rabbits were dangerous too. In this world, there are rabbits that chop off your head if you're unlucky."

I hesitate being said that in a serious tone.

"That's a pretty amazing rabbit."

Gakuto nods.

"Of course, cause I'm talking about the world of gaming."

== 2 ==

I saw an unbelievable thing on the day the exam ended for the second quarter.

There was a letter in my desk. No, that itself isn't too weird. The problem is the sender and its content. To put it simply, it was from Shiki, asking me out on a date.

It sounded like a threat telling me to take her out somewhere tomorrow. I went home all confused and waited for the next day to come, feeling like a samurai told to kill himself the next day.

◇

"Yo, Kokuto."

That was the first word Shiki said to me when she came. She came to our meeting place, the dog statue in front of the station, with a red leather jacker over her kimono. More than her outfit, I was confused by how she spoke.

"Did ya wait? Sorry man. It took me awhile to shake off Akitaka."

She says this as if it's perfectly natural for her.

She sounds like a guy, not like the Shiki I know. Not being able to answer, I check her figure again. There's nothing different in her looks. She has a small body, but because of her valiant gestures, she looks powerful... no, rather graceful. She has the unbalancedness of a lively puppet, a puppet made well, but just on the outside.

"What? You angry just cause I'm an hour late? You're pretty intolerant, man."

Shiki looks at me with her black eyes. Her beautiful short black hair. A small face and big eyes, they both are beautiful. The black eyes are reflecting the figure of Kokutoh Mikiya, but it seems to be seeing something farther away. ... Come to think of it, I was attracted to these eyes since that snowy day when we met

"Um... you're Shiki, right?"

"Yeah", Shiki laughs. A strange smile that's more like a grin.

"What else do I look like? We're wasting time like this. Come on, take me somewhere. I'll let you decide, Kokuto."

Saying that, Shiki starts to walk taking my arm forcefully.

... She said she'll let me decide, but since I was confused, I didn't even notice that she was leading the way...

We walked a lot.

Shiki didn't do much shopping, but she would go into a store in the department store and look around, and goes to the next one when she gets bored. My request to take a rest at the cafe or a movie theater was denied. ... But she's right. It would have been boring to go to such places with the way Shiki is acting right now.

Shiki talked a lot. If I'm not mistaken, she seemed excited. How should I say this... she's mentally high?

Most of the stores she went to were cloth-oriented, but I was relieved every one of them were stores for women. Shiki must have gotten tired from looking through four department stores in four hours, as she says she wants to eat.

We wander around and end up in a fast food joint. Shiki takes off her jacket once she takes a seat. She catches peoples attention with that kimono outfit but it seems she doesn't care at all. Making up my mind, I ask her about what I've been wondering all this time.

"Shiki, you actually talk like that all the time?"

"In my case. But there's no meaning in how someone talks. Even you can change that."

Shiki eats the hamburger like it doesn't taste good.

"Well, this kind of thing never happened before. Today's the first day that I came outside. I didn't say anything until now cause I had the same opinion as Shiki."

... I don't get it at all.

"Let's see... It's a split personality to put it simply. I'm SHIKI and the normal one is Shiki. SHIKI is from the word, "weaved cloth." But Shiki and I are not different people. The only difference between us is the priorities of things. The ranks of what we like are different."

Saying that, she writes on her napkin using her wet fingers. The white finger writes the word Shiki and SHIKI.

"I wanted to talk with Kokuto, that's all. Since it's not something Shiki wanted to do, I'm doing it in her place. Do ya understand?"

"Well, kind of."

I answer uneasily. But I actually have felt what SHIKI is talking about. I think something similar to that happened to me before. Before I entered high school, I met Shiki, but she said she didn't remember it. At that time I thought she said that because she hated me, but after hearing this, it makes sense.

No, more than that. After spending all day with her i can tell she is the same Shiki. As Shiki, no, as SHIKI says, she only talks differently, but her actions are the same. They are so similar I'm starting to feel there's nothing different about her now.

"But why did you tell me about that?"

"I thought I wouldn't be able to hide it from ya much longer."

Shiki takes another drink. She puts her mouth on the straw and lets go quickly... Shiki doesn't like cold things.

"To be honest, I'm like Shiki's subversive impulse. This was something that she really wanted to do. But up to now, there was no one I wanted to do it with, because Ryohgi Shiki was uninterested in everyone."

SHIKI says so like she's not interested. I could not move, being stared at by those deep black eyes.

"Yeah, but you rest assured, I'm still Shiki. I'm just saying what Shiki thinks. Like I told ya, we just talk differently. ... Well, but we're beginning to get out of line, so don't take me too seriously."

"Out of line? ... You mean you and Shiki get into a fights?"

"Hey, how can you get in a fight with yourself? No matter what I do, it has to be something we both wanted, so we both have no complaints. No matter how much I fight, Shiki has control over this body. I'm seeing you like this because Shiki thought it was all right too. ... Well, she'll probably regret saying things like this. It's not something Shiki would say, right?"

I agree.

SHIKI laughs.

"I like those kind of things about you. But Shiki doesn't. That's what I mean by being out of line."

...? What does that mean? Does Shiki not like the fact that I don't think too much? Or does Shiki not like the fact that she is liking that part of me? I don't know why, but I somehow thought it had to be the latter.

"Well, that's enough explanations for today."

Standing up suddenly, SHIKI puts on the leather jacket.

"Bye~. I like you, so I'll see you again pretty soon."

Putting the money for the hamburger on the table, SHIKI leaves quickly.

◇

I Part with SHIKI and return to my neighborhood, the sun is setting already. Because of all the recent murder incidents not many people are out, even though the sun's only setting.

When I get home, my cousin, Daisuke Nii-san is there. I was tired from all that talk with SHIKI, so I go to the kotatsu and put my legs in it. Daisuke Nii-san also has his legs in there so we end up fighting for the small space inside without a word. In the end, I couldn't lay down, so I just had to get up.

"Aren't you busy, Daisuke-san?"

I ask him while taking a mandarin orange off the table. Daisuke Nii-san asnwers "Yeah".

"It's five people in three months, of course we're busy. I'm so busy I can't even go home to sleep. I have to get going again in about an hour."

Daisuke Nii-san is a police officer. It's an unfit job for such a lazy person.

"How's the investigation going?"

"It's all right. There weren't any clues until now but the killer finally left us something. Well, it does seem intentional though."

Saying that, Daisuke Nii-san lifts up his face. His serious face is right in front of mine.

"What I'm telling you is confidential. I'm going to tell you because this is something that's important to you. I told you about the first victim, right?"

Then, Daisuke Nii-san starts to describe the second and the third murder scene. ... I listen closely while hoping not all policemen in this world let out confidential matters this easily.

The second victim had its body cut vertically. From its head down to its groin. The weapon used is unknown. One of the cut remains was stuck to the wall.

The third victim had its arms and legs cut off, with the severed arms sewn onto the legs.

The fourth victim had its body cut into pieces and had some word-like symbol stamped on it.

The fifth victim was made to look like a manji using its arms and legs.

"It's easy to understand that the killer is abnormal."

I say this while trying to hold back my vomit, Daisuke Nii-san agrees.

"I think it's a bit intentional when it's too easy to understand, but what do you think?"

"... Let's see. I don't think it matters every one of them is killed by being cut apart. I can't say anything else, but..."

"But?"

"I just think the killer is getting used to this. The next one might not be outside."

"You're right." Daisuke Nii-san covers his face with his hands.

"There's no motive and there's no rules. It's only happening outside right now but this is a kind of a guy that would even come indoors. If this killer can't find anyone out at night, there's more motive for the killer to go into someone's house. I just wish the higher ranked guys would take that into consideration and be prepared for it."

"Well..." Daisuke Nii-san changes the subject.

"We found this by the fifth victim."

Daisuke Nii-san places our school badge on the table. It's considered unimportant with us not having uniforms and all, but we are required to wear this somewhere on us when going to school.

"I don't know if the killer didn't notice this because the scene of the crime was a grassy field or if the killer intentionally put this there. But either way, there has to be a meaning behind this. I might go over to your place sometime soon."

Making a cop-like face, he says an ominous thing.

== 3 ==

The winter vacation ended in a flash. The only thing that happened was I went to the shrine on new year with Shiki. But I think I led a normal life other than that.

When the third term started, Shiki isolated herself even more. She had that "rejection" air around her that even I noticed.

After making sure everyone else has left and going to the classroom, SHIKI would always be there. She doesn't do anything just stares out the window. I haven't been invited or called to come here. But I just can't leave this fragile girl alone, so I keep her company meaninglessly.

The sun sets early in the wintertime and the classroom is tinted red. In this classroom filled with just the color red and black, SHIKI is leaning against the window.

"Did I tell you that I hate people?"

Today, SHIKI starts to talk mindlessly.

"That's the first time I heard that... do you mean that?"

"Yeah, Shiki hates people. She was like that from when she was small. ... You see, when you're a child, you don't know anything. You think the whole world would love you unconditionally. Since you like them, they must like you... that feels like common sense."

"You're right. You never doubt anything when you're small. You unconditionally love them and you think it's only natural for them to love you back. The only things I was scared of were ghosts. Though, I'm scared of people now."

SHIKI nods in agreement.

"But that's a very important thing. You need to be pure, Kokuto. Since you only worry about yourself when you're small, you won't notice the evil minds of other people. Even if it's just a misunderstanding, the feeling of love you receive makes you able to be kind to others. Since people can only express the emotions they're familiar with."

The sunset illuminates her face red. At this moment, I cannot tell if she is SHIKI or Shiki, but it has no meaning at all which she is. Either way, this is just Shiki's monologue.

"But I'm different. I knew someone else since I was born. Since Shiki has SHIKI inside of her, she knew of others. She found out that there's other people who think differently and that they do not love you unconditionally. Since she found out as a child how ugly other people are, she could not love them. In time. she grew to pay them no attention. The only emotion Shiki has is rejection."

... That's why she hates people. SHIKI says so with her eyes. ... I feel like crying for no reason.

"But wasn't she lonely like that?"

"Why? Shiki has me. It's certainly lonely by yourself but Shiki isn't alone. She was isolated, but she wasn't alone."

SHIKI says so with a resolute face. There's no bluff in it and it seems she really is satisfied with that.

But really...?

Yet really...?

"But Shiki is acting weird recently. She has an abnormality in her called me, but she wants to deny me. Denying is my domain, and Shiki is supposed to be only able to affirm."

SHIKI laughs asking why that might be. It's a brutal looking smile.

"Kokuto, have you ever wanted to kill someone?"

At that instance, the sun paints her face red and makes my heart jump.

"Not so far. The most I've ever wanted was to punch someone."

"I see. But I only have that feeling."

Her voice echoes through the classroom.

"...... Huh?"

"I told you. Humans can only show emotions that they have experienced. I take on the forbidden taboos inside Shiki. What's low on Shiki's priorities is high on mine. I am content with that and I know that's why I exist. I am the personality that takes on Shiki's suppressed intentions. That's why I've always killed my will. I have been killing the dark side called SHIKI. I have killed myself over and over. See? The only thing I've experienced is killing things."

Then, she walks away from the window. Why... why do I think the person silently walking toward me is scary?

"So Kokuto, the definition of murder for Shiki is..."

A voice murmuring by my ear...

"... Is to eliminate, in self defense, anything that tries to open her up."

Smiling, SHIKI leaves the classroom. It was an innocent smile that one would give after playing a trick on you...

◇

On lunch break the next day...

When I asked Shiki if she wanted to have lunch with me, she looked really surprised. At this time, she showed me her surprised expression for the first time since I have met her.

"What a thing..."

Saying that, Shiki accepts my request. We head to the rooftop following Shiki's request. She is following silently behind me. Her silent stare is stabbing into my back. Maybe she's mad at me... no, she definitely is. ... Even I know what she meant by those words yesterday. It's her last warning telling me not to be involved with her, and that she doesn't know what she'll do if I did. But Shiki does not understand. That's something Shiki has always unconsciously told me, and I have already gotten used to it. When we get to the rooftop, no one is there. I guess being January and all, nobody else wanted to eat in this cold weather.

"It's cold, do you want to eat somewhere else?"

"No, I want to eat here. If you want to go somewhere else, please go ahead."

I tilt my head to Shiki's polite tone. We sit by the wall to avoid the wind. Shiki just sits there without opening her bread. In contrast, I have already finished my second sandwich.

"Why did you talk to me?"

Shiki's murmur is so sudden that I could not catch her words.

"Did you say something, Shiki?"

"I said, why are you so carefree?"

She says so with glaring eyes.

"That's terrible. I've been called excessively honest, but I've never been called carefree."

"I guess everyone was holding back."

Convinced selfishly, Shiki opens her egg sandwich. The sound of the wrapper suited the cold rooftop. Shiki sits there silently and nibbles on her sandwich. I have nothing to do as I'm already done. I think a meal needs to be accompanied by a conversation.

"Shiki, you must be a bit mad."

"... A bit?"

She glares at me. I scold myself in my mind for not thinking before I said something.

"I don't understand, but I get irritated when you're around. "Why do you involve yourself with me, why you don't act differently after being told all that yesterday," these are all things I don't understand."

"I don't know the reason either. It's fun being with you, but if you ask me why it's fun, I can't answer. Well, if you talk about yesterday, I guess you can say I'm optimistic."

"Kokutoh-kun, do you understand that I'm abnormal?"

I can only nod to those words. Her split personality is real and it is indeed not normal.

"Yeah, it's indeed not normal."

"Right. So then you should understand that I am not someone you could associate with normally."

"Abnormal or not, it doesn't matter when hanging out."

Shiki stops all movement. She stops time as if she's even forgotten how to breathe.

"But I cannot be like you."

Saying that, Shiki slides her fingers through her hair. Her kimono sways and I notice the bandage wrapped around her thin arm. The bandage wrapped around near her right elbow is quite new.

"Shiki, that wound..."

Before I get a chance to finish, Shiki stands up.

"If you don't understand with SHIKI's words, I'll tell you myself."

Shiki talks while looking off into the distance.

"If we keep this up, I will probably end up killing you."

... How could I have replied to those words?

After that, Shiki goes to the classroom leaving her trash behind. Being left alone, I first clean up the mess.

"... Geez, this is just like what Gakuto said."

I remember the conversation I had with Gakuto. Like Gakuto said, I might be stupid. I could not hate Shiki even after she completely rejected me. Rather, my mind has been cleared. There can only be one reason why it's fun being with Shiki.

"I already went mad a long time ago."

... Yeah, why didn't I notice this earlier?

... That I love Shiki so much that I can even laugh off her telling me she wants to kill me.

== 4 ==

It's the first Sunday in February. Waking up and going to the dining room, Daisuke Nii-san is there, about to leave.

"Oh, you were here?"

"Yo. I just came to sleep cause I missed the last train, but I'm gotta go to work now. I envy you students, your promise for vacation is always kept."

He looks like he hasn't had enough sleep. I bet he's busy with all the new information on that serial killer.

"You were talking about coming to my school, but what happened to that?"

"It seems we'll have to go there again. To tell you the truth, there was a sixth victim three days ago. I guess this victim struggled hard and we found the killer's skin in her nails. Women have long nails so I guess she scratched the killer's arm pretty bad. Maybe it was a desperate move but the scratch has to be deep. The skin we found was about 3 centimeters. (about 1 inch)."

His information is a new one not even on TV or the newspaper. But I am shocked for a different reason. ... I think it's because in the past few days, Shiki has been using the omnious word of "killing" quite a number of times. Why else would I imagine for an instant that Shiki would be this killer?

"... Scratch, you mean the killer has a wound?"

"Of course. Do you think the victim would scratch her own arm? We already figured out the skin is from around the elbow area. We have the blood diagnozed so the killer is done for now."

Daisuke Nii-san leaves. With power escaping my legs, I crumble onto the chair. Three days ago was the day I had that conversation with SHIKI in the setting sun. I think when I saw her the next day, the bandage was around her elbow...

Right around mid-day, I figure out it's no good just sitting here and thinking. Instead of thinking, I can just go to Shiki and ask her. If she tells me her wound is nothing related to it, this uneasiness would go away.

I decide to visit Shiki's house using the school's contact guide. Her house is on the outskirt of town a station away from here. When I finally find her house, the sun is already setting. The mansion with bamboo trees surrounding it is oriental-styled. I cannot tell the size of this place just by walking. I won't be able to tell exactly how big it is unless I get in a plane and get an overhead view of this place. Walking through the bamboo woods on a path, I get to a big gate. I'm a bit relieved this old looking place has an intercom. Pushing it and saying what I came here for, a man in a black suit appears. I find out that this man around his thirties is Shiki's servant. This person called Akitaka talks with a stranger like me with manners. Unfortunately, Shiki isn't home. He offers me to stay and wait but I refuse. To be honest, I don't have the guts to go into this place alone.

I decide to go home since the sun has already set. Getting to the station after an hour's walk, I run into Senpai by chance. Being invited by him, we eat at a nearby restaurant and end up talking until ten. Unlike Senpai, I am a student so I have to start heading home soon. After saying goodbye to Senpai, I buy the ticket for the train at the station. The time is almost eleven o'clock. I wonder for a second if Shiki is home already.

"What the hell am I doing?"

I say so to myself as I walk through the nighttime residential district. It's late at night without a sign of life. In this unfamiliar town, I don't understand why I'm going toward Shiki's house. Even though I know I won't be able to see her, I at least want to see the lights in her house. I walk in the chilly winter air. I exit the residentual district and end up facing a group of trees. I walk through the small road in the middle of it. Since there's no wind, the bamboos are silent. There's no streetlight, so the moonlight is my only guide. When I half-jokingly think what would happen if I got attacked here, the thought starts to fill me. The image gets stronger in my head in contrast to my mind wanting to get rid of it. When I was a kid, I was scared of ghosts. The shadows in between the bamboo looked like ghosts and I would be frightened. But now, I'm scared of other people. I'm only scared of the fact that someone might be hiding in the bushes. ...Since when did the unknown ghosts turn into other humans?

The more I try to calm down, the more the bad feeling seeps into me. ...Really, this bad feeling does not go away. Oh yeah, I think Shiki was saying the same thing before. I think that was... While I try to recall, I see something ahead of me.

"......"

I stop dead in my tracks. It's not my will, because at this time... my mind has just became empty.

A white figure stands few meters ahead. The white kimono that looks bright is covered with red spots. The red spots on the kimono expands. It's because the thing in front of her is spilling red liquid everywhere. The one in the white kimono is Shiki and the thing is not a fountain, but a dead person.

"........."

I cannot say anything. But I always thought about this somewhere in my mind. This image of Shiki standing in front of a dead body. That's why I'm not surprised or making a commotion. My mind is just completely blank. The body must have recently died... the blood would not flow out that much unless you cut its artery alive. The wound is on the neck and a cut in the body at an angle. Shiki is silently staring at the dead body. The color of the spilled blood is enough to make you faint, but its organs are spilling out from the cut and making the body look like a totally different thing. To me, it seems like something slimy is trying to have a human form, but it's doing such a bad job that it's hard to look at it. ... If you are a normal human being, there's no way you can. But Shiki is staring at the dead body. Blood gets on her ghost-like kimono. The spots look like red butterflies. The butterflies are flying toward Shiki's face too. The face covered with blood is deformed. Is it because of fear or pleasure? Is she Shiki... or SHIKI?

"..........."

I try to say something and I collapse onto the ground. I vomit. I vomit out everything in my stomach, stomach acid, and if I could this memory too... I vomit until I start to cry. But it's no good. It doesn't even make me feel better. The amount of blood is so much that the smell is overwhelming enough to seep into my brains.

Eventually, Shiki notices me. Her head turns to look at me. The expressionless face shows a smile. It's so pure it makes me rather clam. The smile reminds me of a mother. That smile is so unfitting to this whole scene that...

It rather makes me shiver.

I start to faint as she draws closer. I remember Shiki's words at the last moment.

... "Be careful Kokutoh-kun. A bad presentiment tends to attract bad reality."

... I guess I was stupid indeed. Because I tried not to think about this bad reality until the moment I see it in person...

== 5 ==

I end up not going to school the next day. It's because I was found by a policeman while I stood at the scene of the crime absent-mindedly, and was taken into questioning.

I heard I could not say anything for a few hours. It took me about four hours before my mind returned... I guess my brain doesn't have that good of a recovery system. Anyways, after I was questioned and released, it was too late to go to school.

By how the man was killed, it's impossible to not have blood on your clothes. Fortunately, I did not have any blood on me and being the relative of Daisuke Nii-san, I think my questioning went rather smoothly. Daisuke Nii-san offered me a ride home so I took it.

"So you didn't see anyone, Mikiya?"

"You're being too persistent. I said I didn't see anyone."

I glare at Daisuke Nii-san and sit deep in my seat.

"I see. Damn! It would have helped if you've seen the killer... but I guess the killer wouldn't have let you go alive if you saw him. I can't let you die, so I guess it's a good thing for me you didn't see anyone."

"You're not a good policeman, Daisuke-san."

I hate myself for being able to respond to him in a normal tone. I call myself a liar in my head. ... I can't believe myself that I can lie with such a straight face. And these are police matters we're talking about here. If I don't tell the truth, things can only get worse. ... But still, I did not say anything about Shiki being at the scene of the crime.

"Well, I'm glad you're not hurt. So, what's your impression on the first dead body you saw?"

This mean person asks me such a question in this situation.

"Terrible. I don't ever want to see it again."

"This one is special. It's not as bad normally so be rest assured."

What does he want me to be assured on?

"But it's a small world we live in. I didn't know you knew the daughter of the Ryohgi family."

The fact that might make him happy gets me more depressed. ... The murder that happened in front of Ryohgi's house is treated as the same killer's work but the investigation stopped from there. Even the police left the territory of the Ryohgis after their inspection. From what he says, it's because of the pressure from the Ryohgis. It was recorded that this murder happened in between eleven and twelve at night on February third (Sunday), and the only witness is Kokutoh Mikiya. But it's recorded that I was there only after the crime has occurred and that I was in a state of shock seeing the scene of the crime. The Ryohgi family and I have not said anything about Shiki.

"But didn't you investigate the people of the Ryohgi?"

Daisuke-san shakes his head to my question.

"The daughter of that place goes to your high school, so I wanted to ask them about it but they refused. They said they didn't care about what happened outside their house. But from the way I see it, they are innocent, they have nothing to do with the crime."

"Huh?"

I let it out without thinking. I trust Daisuke Nii-san even if it seems like I don't. It's even famous in the workplace that this person is not fired because of his superior skill. So that's why I thought he might suspect Shiki.

"Why do you think so?"

"Hmm, well... do you think such a beautiful girl would kill someone? You don't, right? I don't think so too. This is an obvious answer for as a guy."

... Why did he ever decide to be a policeman? No, more than that, I sigh at how much more carefree he is than me.

"I see. You'll be single for the rest of your life."

"Hey now, I can put you in jail."

I'll be released because of lack of proof. ... But I agree with his opinion. Even though I don't have the hunch like he does, it is my opinion that Shiki is not the killer. Even if she admits it herself, I believe she is not the one. So now, there is something I must do.

----

The crime neared it's solution.

Then from that day until that day three years later, the killer would cease to appear. For me at that time, that incident seemed like it did not concern me. But that happened to be the first and the last incident which involved both Shiki and me.

Murder Study (Part 1)・Finish

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 06

2007-02-05T05:10:52Z

Bored tenshi:

Overlooking View／

The sun has set and we leave Tohko-san's abandoned building. Shiki's apartment is in the area but my place is twenty minutes away from here by train. Shiki must be sleepy as she is walking a bit wobbly. But Shiki stays by my side while we walk.

"Do you think suicide is right, Mikiya?'

Shiki suddenly asks me that. That downcast-like gesture looks a bit touching.

"Hmm, I don't know. Let's say I get this virus that will kill everybody in Tokyo just by me staying alive. If everyone would be saved if I die, then I'd probably kill myself."

"What is that? That's so unlikely that it's not even a what-if story."

"Let me finish, I think I'd do that because I'm weak.

I'm going to kill myself because I don't have the courage to keep on living and turn all of Tokyo into my enemy. That's easier, right? Courage for an instant and courage that needs to continue throughout your life. You know which one is harder.

It's an extreme argument, but I think death is running away, no matter what kind of determination is behind it. But there are times when the concerned person wants to run away. I can't deny it or refute it, because I'm a weak person as well."

Hmm, but this seems like I'm saying it's all right for someone to do so because I'd do so too. Self-sacrifice in that case is probably the right thing to do, and that action would be called heroic. But that's wrong. It's foolish to choose death no matter how noble or right it is. No matter how wrong or lowly it is, we have to keep on living to make right of our wrongs.

We have to live on and accept the end of the things we've caused. That is something that takes a lot of courage. I don't think I could do that myself, and it sounds too cocky, so I decide not to say it.

"... Well, anyways... I think it's just different for everyone."

I end rather vaguely and Shiki looks at me doubtfully.

"But you're different"

Shiki says so as if seeing inside my mind. It sounded cold, but the words were warm somehow. It was a bit embarrassing, so I walked on for a while silently. The clamor of the main street is getting closer. Sounds, bright lights, engine sounds. Flooding waves of people and the many sounds they make. If we pass the department stores, the station is right ahead.

Then, Shiki stops.

"Mikiya, come over to my place tonight."

"Huh? Why, all of a sudden?"

Shiki pulls me saying that it doesn't matter.

It is indeed easier to stay at Shiki's place since it's nearby, but I don't feel like doing so out of morality.

"It's fine. You don't have anything in your room either. It's boring even if I do go. Or are you telling me there's something I have to do there?"

I know there's no such thing. I said so knowing that, so there shouldn't be anything for Shiki to say back... or at least I think so. But Shiki looks at me as if I'm the cause of the problem.

"Strawberry."

"Huh?"

"Two strawberry Häagen-Dazs. It's still there after you brought it. Finish off that thing, man."

"... I guess I did buy that."

Yes I did. It was something I bought because of how hot it is while walking to Shiki's place. But why did I buy that thing, it's almost September after all...

Well, I don't care about small things. I guess my only choice is to obey Shiki. But just obeying is a bit irritating, so I decide to strike back a little.

Shiki has a vulnerable point where, when I say this, she gets mad but can't say anything back.

Even though it is a wish from the bottom of my heart, Shiki has yet to take my advice.

"All right, I'll spend the night. But Shiki..."

I say with a straight face to Shiki, who looks at me.

"You shouldn't talk like that. You're a girl, you know."

Being told that, Shiki looks away angrily.

Overlooking View／Finish

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 04

2007-02-05T04:58:07Z

Bored tenshi:

Murder Study (Part 1)／

== 1 ==

"Mikiya, is it true that you're going out with Ryohgi?"

I almost spew out my coffee milk to Gakuto's words. I look around while coughing. Fortunately, the lunchtime classroom is loud and no one seems to have heard Gakuto's nonsense.

"What do you mean by that, Gakuto?"

Gakuto looks rather amazed when I question him.

"What are you saying? It's a known fact for everyone that Kokutoh of class 1-C has a crush on Ryohgi. The only ones who don't know are you two."

I think I frowned to those words.

It's been seven months since I first met Shiki. It's already November, right near winter.

... Certainly it's not weird for anyone to start going out after that much time.

"Gakuto, that's just a misunderstanding. We're just friends, and nothing more."

"Really?"

The hopeful of the judo club frowns his face. In contrast to his name, which means "educated person", this guy, who has been my friend since elementary school, is the athletic type. From our long relationship, he must have figured out I wasn't lying.

"But you call her by her first name. There's no way that Ryohgi would allow just a classmate to call her like that."

"Hey now. Shiki doesn't like that. She glared at me when I called her Ryohgi-san before. People ''say'' you can kill someone by looking at them, but Shiki definitely has that potential. Anyways, she says she hates people calling her by her last name, so she says it's fine if I just call her "you". But since I didn't like that, I compromised with "Shiki-san". She didn't like that either, so it ended up with just Shiki. That is the boring truth."

Telling Gakuto about what happened in April, he agrees that it was indeed a boring development.

"I see. That sure is an unromantic story."

Gakuto says this disappointedly. ...What kind of an answer was he hoping for?

"So that thing last week at the school entrance was nothing either? Damn, it was a waste of time coming here. I should have just eaten lunch in my classroom."

"... Hold on. How do you know about that?"

"I told you, you guys are famous. Everyone at the school already knows you and Ryohgi were getting shelter from the rain together by the entrance last Saturday. Since its Ryohgi, even small things like that catch everyone's attention."

I sigh and look up. All I can hope for now is that Shiki will never hear about this.

"This is a school to get you ready for college right? I'm starting to wonder if everyone's really studying."

"According to the teachers, employment rate is good for students who graduated from here."

... I have to question how this school is run.

"But man, why Ryohgi? It just doesn't fit you."

I remember being said something like that by my Senpais.

They told me a quiet, gentle girl would suit me. I guess Gakuto is on the same line too.

... I get a bit angry.

"Shiki isn't such a scary girl."

I let it slip out my mouth..

Gakuto grins. ...He looks like he knows I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"What do you mean she's just your friend? That's definitely a hard girl. The fact that you don't see it is proof that you're too crazy about that girl."

He must mean hard-headed when he says hard. I know he's right, but I didn't want to just give in and nod.

"I already know that."

"Then what's so good about her? Her looks?"

Gakuto is holding nothing back.

Indeed Shiki is beautiful. But with that aside, Shiki attracts me. Shiki always seems like she's about to get hurt. In reality, she's firm enough not to get hurt, but she seems to be really fragile. That's probably why I can't ignore her. I don't want to see her get hurt.

"It's just something that you don't notice. Even Shiki has her cute points. ...Let's see, if I think of her as an animal, she's cute enough to be a rabbit."

Suddenly, i regret saying that

"Don't be stupid. She's definitely in the cat family, and probably the beast ones too. A rabbit is too far off, way too far. Is Ryohgi the type that would die out of loneliness?"

Gakuto laughs his ass off.

But I think she's like a rabbit in that she doesn't become attached to people and how she looks at others from a distance. ... Huh, if that's just me, then fine.

"All right. I won't talk to you about girls anymore."

Gakuto quits laughing once I tell him that.

"You might be right. A rabbit suits her well."

"Gakuto, a frank agreement is rather offensive."

"I mean it. I remembered that rabbits were dangerous too. In this world, there are rabbits that chop off your head if you're unlucky."

I hesitate being said that in a serious tone.

"That's a pretty amazing rabbit."

Gakuto nods.

"Of course, cause I'm talking about the world of gaming."

== 2 ==

I saw an unbelievable thing on the day the exam ended for the second quarter.

There was a letter in my desk. No, that itself isn't too weird. The problem is the sender and its content. To put it simply, it was from Shiki, asking me out on a date.

It sounded like a threat telling me to take her out somewhere tomorrow. I went home all confused and waited for the next day to come, feeling like a samurai told to kill himself the next day.

◇

"Yo, Kokuto."

That was the first word Shiki said to me when she came. She came to our meeting place, the dog statue in front of the station, with a red leather jacker over her kimono. More than her outfit, I was confused by how she spoke.

"Did ya wait? Sorry man. It took me awhile to shake off Akitaka."

She says this as if it's perfectly natural for her.

She sounds like a guy, not like the Shiki I know. Not being able to answer, I check her figure again. There's nothing different in her looks. She has a small body, but because of her valiant gestures, she looks powerful... no, rather graceful. She has the unbalancedness of a lively puppet, a puppet made well, but just on the outside.

"What? You angry just cause I'm an hour late? You're pretty intolerant, man."

Shiki looks at me with her black eyes. Her beautiful short black hair. A small face and big eyes, they both are beautiful. The black eyes are reflecting the figure of Kokutoh Mikiya, but it seems to be seeing something farther away. ... Come to think of it, I was attracted to these eyes since that snowy day when we met

"Um... you're Shiki, right?"

"Yeah", Shiki laughs. A strange smile that's more like a grin.

"What else do I look like? We're wasting time like this. Come on, take me somewhere. I'll let you decide, Kokuto."

Saying that, Shiki starts to walk taking my arm forcefully.

... She said she'll let me decide, but since I was confused, I didn't even notice that she was leading the way...

We walked a lot.

Shiki didn't do much shopping, but she would go into a store in the department store and look around, and goes to the next one when she gets bored. My request to take a rest at the cafe or a movie theater was denied. ... But she's right. It would have been boring to go to such places with the way Shiki is acting right now.

Shiki talked a lot. If I'm not mistaken, she seemed excited. How should I say this... she's mentally high?

Most of the stores she went to were cloth-oriented, but I was relieved every one of them were stores for women. Shiki must have gotten tired from looking through four department stores in four hours, as she says she wants to eat.

We wander around and end up in a fast food joint. Shiki takes off her jacket once she takes a seat. She catches peoples attention with that kimono outfit but it seems she doesn't care at all. Making up my mind, I ask her about what I've been wondering all this time.

"Shiki, you actually talk like that all the time?"

"In my case. But there's no meaning in how someone talks. Even you can change that."

Shiki eats the hamburger like it doesn't taste good.

"Well, this kind of thing never happened before. Today's the first day that I came outside. I didn't say anything until now cause I had the same opinion as Shiki."

... I don't get it at all.

"Let's see... It's a split personality to put it simply. I'm SHIKI and the normal one is Shiki. SHIKI is from the word, "weaved cloth." But Shiki and I are not different people. The only difference between us is the priorities of things. The ranks of what we like are different."

Saying that, she writes on her napkin using her wet fingers. The white finger writes the word Shiki and SHIKI.

"I wanted to talk with Kokuto, that's all. Since it's not something Shiki wanted to do, I'm doing it in her place. Do ya understand?"

"Well, kind of."

I answer uneasily. But I actually have felt what SHIKI is talking about. I think something similar to that happened to me before. Before I entered high school, I met Shiki, but she said she didn't remember it. At that time I thought she said that because she hated me, but after hearing this, it makes sense.

No, more than that. After spending all day with her i can tell she is the same Shiki. As Shiki, no, as SHIKI says, she only talks differently, but her actions are the same. They are so similar I'm starting to feel there's nothing different about her now.

"But why did you tell me about that?"

"I thought I wouldn't be able to hide it from ya much longer."

Shiki takes another drink. She puts her mouth on the straw and lets go quickly... Shiki doesn't like cold things.

"To be honest, I'm like Shiki's subversive impulse. This was something that she really wanted to do. But up to now, there was no one I wanted to do it with, because Ryohgi Shiki was uninterested in everyone."

SHIKI says so like she's not interested. I could not move, being stared at by those deep black eyes.

"Yeah, but you rest assured, I'm still Shiki. I'm just saying what Shiki thinks. Like I told ya, we just talk differently. ... Well, but we're beginning to get out of line, so don't take me too seriously."

"Out of line? ... You mean you and Shiki get into a fights?"

"Hey, how can you get in a fight with yourself? No matter what I do, it has to be something we both wanted, so we both have no complaints. No matter how much I fight, Shiki has control over this body. I'm seeing you like this because Shiki thought it was all right too. ... Well, she'll probably regret saying things like this. It's not something Shiki would say, right?"

I agree.

SHIKI laughs.

"I like those kind of things about you. But Shiki doesn't. That's what I mean by being out of line."

...? What does that mean? Does Shiki not like the fact that I don't think too much? Or does Shiki not like the fact that she is liking that part of me? I don't know why, but I somehow thought it had to be the latter.

"Well, that's enough explanations for today."

Standing up suddenly, SHIKI puts on the leather jacket.

"Bye~. I like you, so I'll see you again pretty soon."

Putting the money for the hamburger on the table, SHIKI leaves quickly.

◇

I Part with SHIKI and return to my neighborhood, the sun is setting already. Because of all the recent murder incidents not many people are out, even though the sun's only setting.

When I get home, my cousin, Daisuke Nii-san is there. I was tired from all that talk with SHIKI, so I go to the kotatsu and put my legs in it. Daisuke Nii-san also has his legs in there so we end up fighting for the small space inside without a word. In the end, I couldn't lay down, so I just had to get up.

"Aren't you busy, Daisuke-san?"

I ask him while taking a mandarin orange off the table. Daisuke Nii-san asnwers "Yeah".

"It's five people in three months, of course we're busy. I'm so busy I can't even go home to sleep. I have to get going again in about an hour."

Daisuke Nii-san is a police officer. It's an unfit job for such a lazy person.

"How's the investigation going?"

"It's all right. There weren't any clues until now but the killer finally left us something. Well, it does seem intentional though."

Saying that, Daisuke Nii-san lifts up his face. His serious face is right in front of mine.

"What I'm telling you is confidential. I'm going to tell you because this is something that's important to you. I told you about the first victim, right?"

Then, Daisuke Nii-san starts to describe the second and the third murder scene. ... I listen closely while hoping not all policemen in this world let out confidential matters this easily.

The second victim had its body cut vertically. From its head down to its groin. The weapon used is unknown. One of the cut remains was stuck to the wall.

The third victim had its arms and legs cut off, with the severed arms sewn onto the legs.

The fourth victim had its body cut into pieces and had some word-like symbol stamped on it.

The fifth victim was made to look like a manji using its arms and legs.

"It's easy to understand that the killer is abnormal."

I say this while trying to hold back my vomit, Daisuke Nii-san agrees.

"I think it's a bit intentional when it's too easy to understand, but what do you think?"

"... Let's see. I don't think it matters every one of them is killed by being cut apart. I can't say anything else, but..."

"But?"

"I just think the killer is getting used to this. The next one might not be outside."

"You're right." Daisuke Nii-san covers his face with his hands.

"There's no motive and there's no rules. It's only happening outside right now but this is a kind of a guy that would even come indoors. If this killer can't find anyone out at night, there's more motive for the killer to go into someone's house. I just wish the higher ranked guys would take that into consideration and be prepared for it."

"Well..." Daisuke Nii-san changes the subject.

"We found this by the fifth victim."

Daisuke Nii-san places our school badge on the table. It's considered unimportant with us not having uniforms and all, but we are required to wear this somewhere on us when going to school.

"I don't know if the killer didn't notice this because the scene of the crime was a grassy field or if the killer intentionally put this there. But either way, there has to be a meaning behind this. I might go over to your place sometime soon."

Making a cop-like face, he says an ominous thing.

== 3 ==

The winter vacation ended in a flash. The only thing that happened was I went to the shrine on new year with Shiki. But I think I led a normal life other than that.

When the third term started, Shiki isolated herself even more. She had that rejection air around her that even I noticed.

After making sure everyone else has left and going to the classroom, SHIKI would always be there. She doesn't do anything but just stares out the window. I haven't been invited or called to come here. But I just can't leave this fragile girl alone, so I keep her company meaninglessly.

The sun sets early in the wintertime and the classroom is tinted red. In this classroom filled with just the color red and black, SHIKI is leaning against the window.

"Did I tell you that I hate people?"

Today, SHIKI starts to talk mindlessly.

"That's the first time I heard that... do you mean that?"

"Yeah, Shiki hates people. She was like that from when she was small. ... You see, when you're a child, you don't know anything. You think the whole world would love you unconditionally. Since you like them, they must like you... that feels like common sense."

"You're right. You never doubt anything when you're small. You unconditionally love them and you think it's only natural for them to love you back. The only thing I was scared of were ghosts. Even though I'm scared of people now."

SHIKI nods in agreement.

"But that's a very important thing. You need to be pure, Kokuto. Since you only concern about yourself when you're small, you won't notice other people's bad minds. Even if it's just a misunderstanding, the feeling of love you receive makes you be able to be kind to others. Since people can only express the emotions they have."

The sunset illuminates her face red. At this moment, I cannot tell if she is SHIKI or Shiki, but it has no meaning at all which she is. Either way, this is just Shiki's monologue.

"But I'm different. I knew someone else since I was born. Since Shiki has SHIKI inside of her, she knew of others. She found out that there's other people who think differently and that they do not love you unconditionally. Since she found out as a child how ugly other people are, she could not love them. In time. she grew to pay them no attention. The only emotion Shiki has is rejection."

... That's why she hates people. SHIKI says so with her eyes. ... I feel like crying without reason.

"But wasn't she lonely like that?"

"Why? Shiki has me. It's certainly lonely by yourself but Shiki isn't alone. She was isolated, but she wasn't alone."

SHIKI says so with a resolute face. There's no bluff in it and it seems she really is satisfied with that.

But really...?

Yet really...?

"But Shiki is acting weird recently. She has an abonormality in her called me, but she wants to deny me. Denying is my domain, and Shiki is supposed to be only able to affirm."

SHIKI laughs asking why that might be. It's a brutal looking smile.

"Kokuto, have you ever wanted to kill someone?"

At that instance, the sun makes her face look red and made my heart jump.

"Not so far. The most I've ever wanted was wanting to punch someone."

"I see. But I only have that feeling."

Her voice echoes through the classroom.

"...... Huh?"

"I told you. Humans can only show emotions that they have experienced. I take on the forbidden taboos inside Shiki. What's low on Shiki's priorities is high on mine. I am content with that and I know that's why I exist. I am the personality that takes on Shiki's supressed intentions. That's why I've always killed my will. I have been killing the dark side called SHIKI. I have killed myself over and over. See? The only thing I've experienced is killing things."

Then, she walks away from the window. Why, why do I think the person walking toward me silently is scary?

"So Kokuto, the definiton of murder for Shiki is..."

A voice murmuring by my ear...

"... Is to eliminate, in self defense anything that tries to open her up."

Smiling, SHIKI leaves the classroom. It was an innocent smile that one would give after playing a trick on you...

◇

On lunch break the next day...

When I asked Shiki if she wanted to have lunch with me, she looked really surprised. At this time, she showed me her surprised expression for the first time since I have met her.

"What a thing..."

Saying that, Shiki accepts my request. We head to the rooftop following Shiki's request. She is following silently behind me. Her silent stare is stabbing into my back. Maybe she's mad at me... no, she definitely is. ... Even I know what she meant by those words yesterday. It's her last warning telling me not to be involved with her, and that she doesn't know what she'll do if I did. But Shiki does not understand. That's something Shiki has always told me without words unconsciously, and I have already gotten used to it. When we get to the rooftop, no one is there. I guess being January and all, nobody else wanted to eat in this cold weather.

"It's cold, do you want to eat somewhere else?"

"No, I want to eat here. If you want to go somewhere else, please go ahead."

I tilt my head to Shiki's polite tone. We sit by the wall to avoid the wind. Shiki just sits there without opening her bread. In contrast, I have already finished my second sandwich.

"Why did you talk to me?"

Shiki's murmur is so sudden that I could not catch her words.

"Did you say something, Shiki?"

"I said, why are you so carefree?"

She says so with glaring eyes.

"That's terrible. I've been called excessively honest, but I've never been called carefree."

"I guess everyone was holding back."

Convinced selfishly, Shiki opens her egg sandwich. The sound of the wrapper suited the cold rooftop. Shiki sits there silently and nibbles on her sandwich. I have nothing to do as I'm already done. I think a meal needs to be accompanied by a conversation.

"Shiki, you must be a bit mad."

"... A bit?"

She glares at me. I scold myself in my mind for not thinking before I said something.

"I don't understand but I get irritated when you're there. Why you involve yourself with me, why you don't act differently after being told all that yesterday, there are all those things I don't understand."

"I don't know the reason either. It's fun being with you, but if you ask me why it's fun, I can't answer. Well, if you talk about yesterday, I guess you can say I'm optimistic."

"Kokutoh-kun, do you understand that I'm abnormal?"

I can only nod to those words. Her split personality is real and it is indeed not normal.

"Yeah, it's indeed not normal."

"Right. So then you should understand that I am not someone you could associate with normally."

"Abnormal or not, it doesn't matter when hanging out."

Shiki stops all movement. She stops time as if she's even forgotten how to breathe.

"But I cannot be like you."

Saying that, Shiki slides her fingers through her hair. Her kimono sways and I notice the bandage wrapped around her thin arm. The bandage wrapped around near her right elbow is quite new.

"Shiki, that wound..."

Before I get a chance to finish, Shiki stands up.

"If you don't understand with SHIKI's words, I'll tell you myself."

Shiki talks while looking off into the distance.

"If we keep this up, I will probably end up killing you."

... How could I have replied to those words?

After that, Shiki goes to the classroom leaving her trash behind. Being left alone, I first clean up the mess.

"... Geez, this is just like Gakuto said."

I remember the conversation I had with Gakuto. Like Gakuto said, I might be stupid. I could not hate Shiki even after she completely rejected me. No, my mind has rather cleared up. There can only be one reason why it's fun being with Shiki.

"I already went mad a long time ago."

... Yeah, why didn't I notice this earlier?

... That I love Shiki so much that I can even laugh off her telling me she wants to kill me.

== 4 ==

It's the first Sunday in February. Waking up and going to the dining room, Daisuke Nii-san is there, about to leave.

"Oh, you were here?"

"Yo. I just came to sleep cause I missed the last train, but I'm gotta go to work now. I envy you students, your promise for vacation is always kept."

He looks like he hasn't had enough sleep. I bet he's busy with all the new information on that serial killer.

"You were talking about coming to my school, but what happened to that?"

"It seems we'll have to go there again. To tell you the truth, there was a sixth victim three days ago. I guess this victim struggled hard and we found the killer's skin in her nails. Women have long nails so I guess she scratched the killer's arm pretty bad. Maybe it was a desperate move but the scratch has to be deep. The skin we found was about 3 centimeters. (about 1 inch)."

His information is a new one not even on TV or the newspaper. But I am shocked for a different reason. ... I think it's because in the past few days, Shiki has been using the omnious word of "killing" quite a number of times. Why else would I imagine for an instant that Shiki would be this killer?

"... Scratch, you mean the killer has a wound?"

"Of course. Do you think the victim would scratch her own arm? We already figured out the skin is from around the elbow area. We have the blood diagnozed so the killer is done for now."

Daisuke Nii-san leaves. With power escaping my legs, I crumble onto the chair. Three days ago was the day I had that conversation with SHIKI in the setting sun. I think when I saw her the next day, the bandage was around her elbow...

Right around mid-day, I figure out it's no good just sitting here and thinking. Instead of thinking, I can just go to Shiki and ask her. If she tells me her wound is nothing related to it, this uneasiness would go away.

I decide to visit Shiki's house using the school's contact guide. Her house is on the outskirt of town a station away from here. When I finally find her house, the sun is already setting. The mansion with bamboo trees surrounding it is oriental-styled. I cannot tell the size of this place just by walking. I won't be able to tell exactly how big it is unless I get in a plane and get an overhead view of this place. Walking through the bamboo woods on a path, I get to a big gate. I'm a bit relieved this old looking place has an intercom. Pushing it and saying what I came here for, a man in a black suit appears. I find out that this man around his thirties is Shiki's servant. This person called Akitaka talks with a stranger like me with manners. Unfortunately, Shiki isn't home. He offers me to stay and wait but I refuse. To be honest, I don't have the guts to go into this place alone.

I decide to go home since the sun has already set. Getting to the station after an hour's walk, I run into Senpai by chance. Being invited by him, we eat at a nearby restaurant and end up talking until ten. Unlike Senpai, I am a student so I have to start heading home soon. After saying goodbye to Senpai, I buy the ticket for the train at the station. The time is almost eleven o'clock. I wonder for a second if Shiki is home already.

"What the hell am I doing?"

I say so to myself as I walk through the nighttime residential district. It's late at night without a sign of life. In this unfamiliar town, I don't understand why I'm going toward Shiki's house. Even though I know I won't be able to see her, I at least want to see the lights in her house. I walk in the chilly winter air. I exit the residentual district and end up facing a group of trees. I walk through the small road in the middle of it. Since there's no wind, the bamboos are silent. There's no streetlight, so the moonlight is my only guide. When I half-jokingly think what would happen if I got attacked here, the thought starts to fill me. The image gets stronger in my head in contrast to my mind wanting to get rid of it. When I was a kid, I was scared of ghosts. The shadows in between the bamboo looked like ghosts and I would be frightened. But now, I'm scared of other people. I'm only scared of the fact that someone might be hiding in the bushes. ...Since when did the unknown ghosts turn into other humans?

The more I try to calm down, the more the bad feeling seeps into me. ...Really, this bad feeling does not go away. Oh yeah, I think Shiki was saying the same thing before. I think that was... While I try to recall, I see something ahead of me.

"......"

I stop dead in my tracks. It's not my will, because at this time... my mind has just became empty.

A white figure stands few meters ahead. The white kimono that looks bright is covered with red spots. The red spots on the kimono expands. It's because the thing in front of her is spilling red liquid everywhere. The one in the white kimono is Shiki and the thing is not a fountain, but a dead person.

"........."

I cannot say anything. But I always thought about this somewhere in my mind. This image of Shiki standing in front of a dead body. That's why I'm not surprised or making a commotion. My mind is just completely blank. The body must have recently died... the blood would not flow out that much unless you cut its artery alive. The wound is on the neck and a cut in the body at an angle. Shiki is silently staring at the dead body. The color of the spilled blood is enough to make you faint, but its organs are spilling out from the cut and making the body look like a totally different thing. To me, it seems like something slimy is trying to have a human form, but it's doing such a bad job that it's hard to look at it. ... If you are a normal human being, there's no way you can. But Shiki is staring at the dead body. Blood gets on her ghost-like kimono. The spots look like red butterflies. The butterflies are flying toward Shiki's face too. The face covered with blood is deformed. Is it because of fear or pleasure? Is she Shiki... or SHIKI?

"..........."

I try to say something and I collapse onto the ground. I vomit. I vomit out everything in my stomach, stomach acid, and if I could this memory too... I vomit until I start to cry. But it's no good. It doesn't even make me feel better. The amount of blood is so much that the smell is overwhelming enough to seep into my brains.

Eventually, Shiki notices me. Her head turns to look at me. The expressionless face shows a smile. It's so pure it makes me rather clam. The smile reminds me of a mother. That smile is so unfitting to this whole scene that...

It rather makes me shiver.

I start to faint as she draws closer. I remember Shiki's words at the last moment.

... "Be careful Kokutoh-kun. A bad presentiment tends to attract bad reality."

... I guess I was stupid indeed. Because I tried not to think about this bad reality until the moment I see it in person...

== 5 ==

I end up not going to school the next day. It's because I was found by a policeman while I stood at the scene of the crime absent-mindedly, and was taken into questioning.

I heard I could not say anything for a few hours. It took me about four hours before my mind returned... I guess my brain doesn't have that good of a recovery system. Anyways, after I was questioned and released, it was too late to go to school.

By how the man was killed, it's impossible to not have blood on your clothes. Fortunately, I did not have any blood on me and being the relative of Daisuke Nii-san, I think my questioning went rather smoothly. Daisuke Nii-san offered me a ride home so I took it.

"So you didn't see anyone, Mikiya?"

"You're being too persistent. I said I didn't see anyone."

I glare at Daisuke Nii-san and sit deep in my seat.

"I see. Damn! It would have helped if you've seen the killer... but I guess the killer wouldn't have let you go alive if you saw him. I can't let you die, so I guess it's a good thing for me you didn't see anyone."

"You're not a good policeman, Daisuke-san."

I hate myself for being able to respond to him in a normal tone. I call myself a liar in my head. ... I can't believe myself that I can lie with such a straight face. And these are police matters we're talking about here. If I don't tell the truth, things can only get worse. ... But still, I did not say anything about Shiki being at the scene of the crime.

"Well, I'm glad you're not hurt. So, what's your impression on the first dead body you saw?"

This mean person asks me such a question in this situation.

"Terrible. I don't ever want to see it again."

"This one is special. It's not as bad normally so be rest assured."

What does he want me to be assured on?

"But it's a small world we live in. I didn't know you knew the daughter of the Ryohgi family."

The fact that might make him happy gets me more depressed. ... The murder that happened in front of Ryohgi's house is treated as the same killer's work but the investigation stopped from there. Even the police left the territory of the Ryohgis after their inspection. From what he says, it's because of the pressure from the Ryohgis. It was recorded that this murder happened in between eleven and twelve at night on February third (Sunday), and the only witness is Kokutoh Mikiya. But it's recorded that I was there only after the crime has occurred and that I was in a state of shock seeing the scene of the crime. The Ryohgi family and I have not said anything about Shiki.

"But didn't you investigate the people of the Ryohgi?"

Daisuke-san shakes his head to my question.

"The daughter of that place goes to your high school, so I wanted to ask them about it but they refused. They said they didn't care about what happened outside their house. But from the way I see it, they are innocent, they have nothing to do with the crime."

"Huh?"

I let it out without thinking. I trust Daisuke Nii-san even if it seems like I don't. It's even famous in the workplace that this person is not fired because of his superior skill. So that's why I thought he might suspect Shiki.

"Why do you think so?"

"Hmm, well... do you think such a beautiful girl would kill someone? You don't, right? I don't think so too. This is an obvious answer for as a guy."

... Why did he ever decide to be a policeman? No, more than that, I sigh at how much more carefree he is than me.

"I see. You'll be single for the rest of your life."

"Hey now, I can put you in jail."

I'll be released because of lack of proof. ... But I agree with his opinion. Even though I don't have the hunch like he does, it is my opinion that Shiki is not the killer. Even if she admits it herself, I believe she is not the one. So now, there is something I must do.

----

The crime neared it's solution.

Then from that day until that day three years later, the killer would cease to appear. For me at that time, that incident seemed like it did not concern me. But that happened to be the first and the last incident which involved both Shiki and me.

Murder Study (Part 1)・Finish

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 02

2007-02-02T20:40:16Z

Bored tenshi:

／2

Summer vacation ended and the new term has started.

Nothing has really changed in my school life. I guess the only thing that changed is how the students are dressed, as they start to wear more as Autumn approaches. As for me, I have never worn anything other than a kimono. Akitaka would bring me cute clothes that a sixteen year old girl might wear, but I never thought about actually wearing them.

Fortunately, this school doesn't have uniforms, so I could stay in my kimono. I actually wanted a long-sleeved kimono, but with that I'll spend the whole PE class just to change. So I made do with a Ukata-like single-piece kimono. I wondered what I should do about the cold during winter-time, but I found a solution to that yesterday.

... It happened during the breaks in between classes. I was questioned when I was in my seat.

"Aren't you cold, Shiki?"

"I'm not cold right now but I guess it should start to feel cold soon."

The person in front of me frowns, as if he's figured out I'm planning to be in my kimono during the winter too.

"You're gonna be wearing that thing even during winter?"

"Probably. But I'll be fine because I'll be wearing something over it."

I said so trying to end the conversation. That person walks away being surprised there's something that can be worn over a kimono, but I was also surprised by the answer I came up with. In the end, I went out to buy a coat. I bought a leather blouse as it seemed to be the warmest. I'll wear it in the wintertime, but it will stay in my closet until then.

◇

I ended up eating lunch together with this guy, being invited and all. The place is at the rooftop of the school building and I could see many other groups of students around me... a pair of a man and a woman, a group just like us. While I am looking at them, he talks to me. I was going to ignore it, but a word caught my attention.

"... Huh?"

"I said murder. It happened on the last day of the summer vacation, in the western part of the shopping district. It's not on the news yet though."

"Murder... that's not peaceful..."

"Yeah, and the content is sick too. The killer cut off this guy's arms and legs and just left him there. I heard the whole place was a sea of blood and they had to close off the alley with boards. And the killer is still on the loose."

"Only arms and legs? Can a human die with just that?"

"Of course, from loss of blood. In this case, I would assume the shock death came first."

He talks while eating. In contrast to his calm looking face, he likes to talk about this kind of stuff. I guess one of his relatives is in the police force or something. ... I bet he isn't in that high of a rank since he's letting out confidential matters.

"Oh, sorry Shiki. I guess it doesn't concern you."

"It's not that it concerns me. But Kokutoh-kun..."

I complain to the guy questioning me as I close my eyes.

"That's not something we should discuss during meals."

"You're right," nods Kokutoh.

... Geez. Now I don't have any appetite to eat this tomato sandwich I just bought.

◇

The first summer in high school ended by hearing a strange rumor like that one. The season slowly moves into autumn. For Ryohgi Shiki, the life that seems just a bit different than what it used to be is about to head into the cold winter.

◇

It has been raining since this morning. In the sound of the rainfall, I am walking in the hallway. There aren't many students walking in the school building now that classes are over. Since the killer incident that Kokutoh was talking about has been publicized, the school has banned all club activities. I think it's the fourth case this month. I'm sure because Akitaka said so in the car this morning. They have no idea of the identity or motive the killer might have. None of the victims are connected, except for the fact that they were all out late at night. I guess it's not that much of a big deal if it happened somewhere far away, but it's a different story when it happens in the town you're living in. All the students go home before dark and everyone, including the boys, goes home together in groups. Since the cops patrol starting around nine, I haven't been able to take my night walks to my satisfaction.

"Four victims..."

I murmur.

All the four scenes, I have...

"Ryohgi-san."

Someone suddenly calls my name. Turning around, I see a guy I have never seen before. He's wearing blue jeans and a white shirt, very plain. He has a calm face too... he must be an upperclassman.

"Yes? What is it?"

"You don't have to glare at me like that. Are you looking for Kokutoh-kun?"

With an artificial-looking smile, the man says a ridiculous thing.

"I'm about to go home. Kokutoh-kun has nothing to do with this."

"Really? You're wrong. You don't understand, that's why you're irritated. You shouldn't take it out on others too much because of that. It's easy to blame things on someone... it grows to be a habit. Hahaha, isn't four times a bit too much though?"

"------Huh?"

Without knowing, I take a step back.

The man has on an artificial smile. A smile just like me, how satisfied-looking and yet...

"I wanted to talk to you in the end. Now that I've done that, I need to go. Bye."

The man walks away just leaving the sounds of his footsteps. Not even looking at him go, I head to the entrance. Changing shoes and going outside, the rain meets me. Akitaka, who is supposed to pick me up, is not here yet. He usually drives me home on rainy days, but I guess he's late today. It's too troublesome to change my shoes again, so I decide to wait by the stairs to the entrance.

The faint rain is clouding the school grounds. My breath is white from the coldness in December. ...I don't know how long it was before I noticed, but Kokutoh was beside me.

"I have an umbrella."

"I'm fine, I have a ride home. You can go home."

"I'll get going in a bit. I want to stay here until then... can I?"

I didn't answer. He nods and leans against the wall. He's not the type who cares about his clothes getting dirty. I am not in the mood to talk with Kokutoh. I'm determined to ignore anything he says so it would make no difference if he's here or not.

In the rain, I just waited. It's strangely quiet... only the raindrops fill my ears. Kokutoh did not talk. Leaning on the wall, he has his eyes closed. I thought he was asleep, but it seems he's singing in a small voice. I guess it's a popular song. Later when I asked Akitaka, I found out the song was called "Singing in the Rain".

Kokutoh doesn't talk. There's less than one meter between us. Being this close together without a conversation makes me a bit restless. But it wasn't surprisingly painful. ... How strange, why is this silence so heart wrenching? But I suddenly grew scared. I felt that if we stayed like this, "he" would come out.

"... Kokutoh-kun!"

"Yes!?"

He jolts up from the wall.

"What? Is something wrong?"

I can see myself in his eyes looking back at me. It's probably at this time that... I actually looked at this person called Kokutoh Mikiya for the first time. Not as a simple observation. He has soft facial features which looked somewhat childish. He has big, deep black eyes. He has natural hair, like his character... not dyed or jelled. He wears black glasses that even kids would not wear nowadays. His plain clothing is black from top to bottom. I guess that's his style. I just wondered... ...why is person always meddling with me?

"Until now..."

Looking down, I try not to look at him.

"Where were you?"

"I was in the student council room before I came here. Since our Senpai is withdrawing from school, we kind of had this small going-away party. He's called Shirazumi Rio, but it sure took me by surprise. He requested to withdraw from school cause he said he found something he wanted to do, and he was a quiet person and all."

Shirazumi Rio... I don't think I've heard that name. But I do know how Kokutoh knows a lot of people that would get him into parties like that. He's not only seen as a friend from classmates, but he is also somewhat popular among older girls.

"I invited you too. I told you yesterday but you never showed up at the student council room. I even went to the classroom to look, but you weren't there."

Certainly, he told me something like that yesterday. But I'll only spoil the party if I went... and I thought he was just being polite when he asked.

"I'm surprised. You meant that invitation?"

"Of course. What were you thinking, Shiki?"

Kokutoh gets mad. Not because his promise was broken, but probably because I thought that way. I can only dislike his anger because it's something I have never experienced before. I grew quiet from that moment on. I don't think I wanted Akitaka to come this on a day as bad as today. A bit later, the car drove up and I said goodbye to Kokutoh.

◇

The rain finally stopped during nighttime. Shiki puts on the red leather blouse on and goes outside. Above is a cloudy sky. The moon glimpses through the holes in the clouds from time to time. In the city, police are patrolling busily. It's a bit troublesome to run into them, so I decide to go to the riverside.

The wet ground reflects the streetlamps. It glows like the remains of a slug. I hear a train pass in the distance. The echoing sound tells me that the viaduct is near. The viaduct must be built to let the train cross and not people.

... I find someone there.

Slowly, Shiki heads to the viaduct.

The train passes by once again. It's probably the last one today. The sound is much larger than before now and echoes in the surrounding. She covers her ears as if to protect herself from the deepness of the sound. As the train goes away, it grows strangely quiet under the viaduct. Under the viaduct, without any street lamps or a way for the moonlight to get in, it is pitch black.

That might be why even the red liquid spilled around this riverside looks black. This is the fifth scene of the murder. The corpse is made so it looks like a flower. With the face at the center, the arms and legs are put around it like flower petals. Arms and legs cut off just like the head is bent up, showing much more flower-like attributes. ... But it's a shame it still looks more like a manji.

In the grasses, an artificial flower is casted away. Because of the spilling blood, the flower is red in color. ... Getting used to this... that's what she thought to herself. Swallowing, she notices she is extremely thirsty. Is it because of the tension or the excitement? The burning in her throat is incredibly hot. This place is filled with death and Shiki's lips makes a smile. Holding down her ecstasy, Shiki continues to stare at the corpse. ... Feeling she is alive just at this instant.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 03

2007-02-02T04:26:18Z

Bored tenshi:

／3

It is a custom for the successor of the Ryohgi family to have a match with the master using a real sword at the beginning of each month. The head of the Ryohgi household many generations ago got tired of inviting many masters from abroad, so he made a dojo in his own house and made many new schools. This is passed on until today and unfortunately, even a girl like me is required to use swords.

After finishing the match against my father, who surpassed me in both skill and strength, I head to my room. The distance between the dojo and the main house building is far, for example, as far as a gym would be from the school building. I walk on the wooden floor which does not creak even once. On the way, Akitaka was waiting for me. Akitaka, who is my servant, should be at least ten years older than me. He was probably waiting for me to help me change out of my sweaty clothes.

"Good job! Did your father say anything?"

"Same as always. Get lost, Akitaka. I can change by myself. You too, you're not like my personal servant. It's better for you to go to my older brother. In the end, it's the man that's succeeding."

Akitaka smiles at my harsh words.

"No, there can be no other successor than you. You brother did not inherit your nature."

"What's so good about this nature?"

I leave Akitaka and head back to the building. Locking myself up in my room, I take my gi off. Then I stare at the mirror. ... What's there is a woman's body. If I put some make-up on and make a scary face, I might look like a guy. But there's nothing you can do about the body. My body that grows every day is making SHIKI go into despair.

"Maybe I should have been born a guy."

I talk aloud to no one. No, there is someone I can talk to... inside me, another personality called SHIKI. All children of the Ryohgi family are prepared two different names with the same pronunciation. The name of the yin, a name as a man. The name of the yang, a name as a woman. Since I was born female, I was named Shiki, which means equation or form. If I would have been born male, I would have been named SHIKI, which means to weave. Why do we do this? It's because the Ryohgi family gives off children with a high probability of having split personalities . ... Just like me.

Father said the Ryohgi family has the heredity of a transcendent race. He also mentioned that it is a curse. ... It is indeed a curse. To me, this is not transcendent, but just abnormal. Fortunately, no successor was of this nature for a few generations. The reason is simple... they all ended up in the mental hospital before maturity. It's very dangerous to have two personalities in one body. The boundary between realities becomes vague and there are many cases where they committed suicide. But in it all, I grew up without showing any sign of insanity. It's because me and SHIKI ignored each other.

The right to the ownership of the body is completely mine. SHIKI is only a substitute personality. Just like how I switched to his personality for the match earlier since his aggressive personality fits the situation. Come to think of it, me and SHIKI are existing at the same time. This is different than what people call split personality. I am Shiki, but at the same time, I am also SHIKI. It's just that I have the ownership of the body.

Father was happy that he could produce the rightful successor of the Ryohgi family in his generation. That's why I'm treated as the successor disregarding my male brother. That's fine, I take what's given to me. I probably thought I would lead this somewhat distorted normal life forever. I knew I could only lead such a life...

... Yes, even if SHIKI is a killing monster, I am not able to make him disappear. Since I have "SHIKI" in me, I am Shiki just like him.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 02

2007-02-01T05:12:45Z

Bored tenshi:

／2

Summer vacation ended and the new term has started.

Nothing has really changed in my school life. I guess the only thing that changed is how the students are dressed, as they start to wear more as Autumn approaches. As for me, I have never worn anything other than a kimono. Akitaka would bring me cute clothes that a sixteen year old girl might wear, but I never thought about actually wearing them.

Fortunately, this school doesn't have uniforms, so I could stay in my kimono. I actually wanted a long-sleeved kimono, but with that I'll spend the whole PE class just to change. So I made do with a Ukata-like single-piece kimono. I wondered what I should do about the cold during winter-time, but I found a solution to that yesterday.

... It happened during the breaks in between classes. I was questioned when I was in my seat.

"Aren't you cold, Shiki?"

"I'm not cold right now but I guess it should start to feel cold soon."

The person in front of me frowns, as if he's figured out I'm planning to be in my kimono during the winter too.

"You're gonna be wearing that thing even during winter?"

"Probably. But I'll be fine because I'll be wearing something over it."

I said so trying to end the conversation. That person walks away being surprised there's something that can be worn over a kimono, but I was also surprised by the answer I came up with. In the end, I went out to buy a coat. I bought a leather blouse as it seemed to be the warmest. I'll wear it in the wintertime, but it will stay in my closet until then.

◇

I ended up eating lunch together with this guy, being invited and all. The place is at the rooftop of the school building and I could see many other groups of students around me... a pair of a man and a woman, a group just like us. While I am looking at them, he talks to me. I was going to ignore it, but a word caught my attention.

"... Huh?"

"I said murder. It happened on the last day of the summer vacation, in the western part of the shopping district. It's not on the news yet though."

"Murder... that's not peaceful..."

"Yeah, and the content is sick too. The killer cut off this guy's arms and legs and just left him there. I heard the whole place was a sea of blood and they had to close off the alley with boards. And the killer is still on the loose."

"Only arms and legs? Can a human die with just that?"

"Of course, from loss of blood. In this case, I would assume the shock death came first."

He talks while eating. In contrast to his calm looking face, he likes to talk about this kind of stuff. I guess one of his relatives is in the police force or something. ... I bet he isn't in that high of a rank since he's letting out confidential matters.

"Oh, sorry Shiki. I guess it doesn't concern you."

"It's not that it concerns me. But Kokutoh-kun..."

I complain to the guy questioning me as I close my eyes.

"That's not something we should discuss during meals."

"You're right," nods Kokutoh.

... Geez. Now I don't have any appetite to eat this tomato sandwich I just bought.

◇

The first summer in high school ended by hearing a strange rumor like that one. The season slowly moves into autumn. For Ryohgi Shiki, the life that seems just a bit different than what it used to be is about to head into the cold winter.

◇

It has been raining since this morning. In the sound of the rainfall, I am walking in the hallway. There aren't many students walking in the school building now that classes are over. Since the killer incident that Kokutoh was talking about has been publicized, the school has banned all club activities. I think it's the fourth case this month. I'm sure because Akitaka said so in the car this morning. They have no idea of the identity or motive the killer might have. None of the victims are connected, except for the fact that they were all out late at night. I guess it's not that much of a big deal if it happened somewhere far away, but it's a different story when it happens in the town you're living in. All the students go home before dark and everyone, including the boys, go home together in groups. Since the cops patrol starting around nine, I haven't been able to take my night walks to my satisfaction.

"Four victims..."

I murmur.

All the four scenes, I have...

"Ryohgi-san."

Someone suddenly calls my name. Turning around, I see a guy I have never seen before. He's wearing blue jeans and a white shirt, very plain. He has a calm face too... he must be an upperclassman.

"Yes? What is it?"

"You don't have to glare at me like that. Are you looking for Kokutoh-kun?"

With an artificial-looking smile, the man says a ridiculous thing.

"I'm about to go home. Kokutoh-kun has nothing to do with this."

"Really? You're wrong. You don't understand, that's why you're irritated. You shouldn't take it out on others too much because of that. It's easy to blame things on someone... it grows to be a habit. Hahaha, isn't four times a bit too much though?"

"------Huh?"

Without knowing, I take a step back.

The man has on an artificial smile. A smile just like me, how satisfied-looking and yet...

"I wanted to talk to you in the end. Now that I've done that, I need to go. Bye."

The man walks away just leaving the sounds of his footsteps. Not even looking at him go, I head to the entrance. Changing shoes and going outside, the rain meets me. Akitaka, who is supposed to pick me up, is not here yet. He usually drives me home on rainy days, but I guess he's late today. It's too troublesome to change my shoes again, so I decide to wait by the stairs to the entrance.

The faint rain is clouding the schoolgrounds. My breath is white from the coldness in December. ...I don't know how long it was before I noticed, but Kokutoh was beside me.

"I have an umbrella."

"I'm fine, I have a ride home. You can go home."

"I'll get going in a bit. I want to stay here until then... can I?"

I didn't answer. He nods and leans against the wall. He's not the type who cares about his clothes getting dirty. I am not in the mood to talk with Kokutoh. I'm determined to ignore anything he says so it would make no difference if he's here or not.

In the rain, I just waited. It's strangely quiet... only the raindrops fill my ears. Kokutoh did not talk. Leaning on the wall, he has his eyes closed. I thought he was asleep, but it seems he's singing in a small voice. I guess it's a popular song. Later when I asked Akitaka, I found out the song was called "Singing in the Rain".

Kokutoh doesn't talk. There's less than one meter between us. Being this close together without a conversation makes me a bit restless. But it wasn't surprisingly painful. ... How strange, why is this silence so heart wrenching? But I suddenly grew scared. I felt that if we stayed like this, "he" would come out.

"... Kokutoh-kun!"

"Yes!?"

He jolts up from the wall.

"What? Is something wrong?"

I can see myself in his eyes looking back at me. It's probably at this time that... I actually looked at this person called Kokutoh Mikiya for the first time. Not as a simple observation. He has soft facial features which looked somewhat childish. He has big, deep black eyes. He has natural hair, like his character... not dyed or jelled. He wears black glasses that even kids would not wear nowadays. His plain clothing is black from top to bottom. I guess that's his style. I just wondered... ...why is person always meddling with me?

"Until now..."

Looking down, I try not to look at him.

"Where were you?"

"I was in the student council room before I came here. Since our Senpai is withdrawing from school, we kind of had this small going-away party. He's called Shirazumi Rio, but it sure took me by surprise. He requested to withdraw from school cause he said he found something he wanted to do, and he was a quiet person and all."

Shirazumi Rio... I don't think I've heard that name. But I do know how Kokutoh knows a lot of people that would get him into parties like that. He's not only seen as a friend from classmates, but he is also somewhat popular among older girls.

"I invited you too. I told you yesterday but you never showed up at the student council room. I even went to the classroom to look, but you weren't there."

Certainly, he told me something like that yesterday. But I'll only spoil the party if I went... and I thought he was just being polite when he asked.

"I'm surprised. You meant that invitation?"

"Of course. What were you thinking, Shiki?"

Kokutoh gets mad. Not because his promise was broken, but probably because I thought that way. I can only dislike his anger because it's something I have never experienced before. I grew quiet from that moment on. I don't think I wanted Akitaka to come this on a day as bad as today. A bit later, the car drove up and I said goodbye to Kokutoh.

◇

The rain finally stopped during nighttime. Shiki puts on the red leather blouse on and goes outside. Above is a cloudy sky. The moon glimpses through the holes in the clouds from time to time. In the city, police are patrolling busily. It's a bit troublesome to run into them, so I decide to go to the riverside.

The wet ground reflects the streetlamps. It glows like the remains of a slug. I hear a train pass in the distance. The echoing sound tells me that the viaduct is near. The viaduct must be built to let the train cross and not people.

... I find someone there.

Slowly, Shiki heads to the viaduct.

The train passes by once again. It's probably the last one today. The sound is much larger than before now and echoes in the surrounding. She covers her ears as if to protect herself from the deepness of the sound. As the train goes away, it grows strangely quiet under the viaduct. Under the viaduct, without any street lamps or a way for the moonlight to get in, it is pitch black.

That might be why even the red liquid spilled around this riverside looks black. This is the fifth scene of the murder. The corpse is made so it looks like a flower. With the face at the center, the arms and legs are put around it like flower petals. Arms and legs cut off just like the head is bent up, showing much more flower-like attributes. ... But it's a shame it still looks more like a manji.

In the grasses, an artificial flower is casted away. Because of the spilling blood, the flower is red in color. ... Getting used to this... that's what she thought to herself. Swallowing, she notices she is extremely thirsty. Is it because of the tension or the excitement? The burning in her throat is incredibly hot. This place is filled with death and Shiki's lips makes a smile. Holding down her ecstasy, Shiki continues to stare at the corpse. ... Feeling she is alive just at this instant.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter02 01

2007-01-30T03:37:26Z

Bored tenshi:

／1

I decide to take a walk tonight again. It's because it's pretty cool for being at the end of the summer and it feels like autumn is coming.

"Ojou-sama, please come home early tonight."

Akitaka, my servant, says so while I am putting on my shoes at the entrance. How uninteresting. Ignoring his monotonous voice, I go out the entrance.

Going past the garden, I walk through the gate. Once I exit the mansion, there is no streetlight outside. Only darkness surrounds me. A deep darkness without any sound. The date is about to change from August 31 to September 1. There is a light wind, and the bamboos around the mansion make a rustling sound. ... As if to frighten me. A walk in this kind of silence is the only thing I, Shiki, like to do.

As the night gets deeper, so does the darkness. I think I walk through the empty town because I want to be alone. Or is it because I want to think I'm alone? ... Either way, it's a stupid question. It's impossible for me to be alone in this world.

... Going off the main street, I walk into a small alley.

I will be turning sixteen this year. If you say it in school terms, I am a first year in an ordinary private high school. No matter where I go for school, I have to remain at the mansion in the future. Then my education has no meaning. I decided to go there since I thought it was more efficient to go to a nearby school and reduce my transportation time. But maybe that turned out to be a mistake.

... The alley is darker than the main street. Only one streetlight flickers nervously.

Someone's face suddenly pops into my mind and I clinch my teeth. I feel restless lately, even during one of these walks. It's because, out of nowhere, I remember ''that guy'' from time to time.

... Even in high school, my environment didn't change. No matter what grade they are in, people do not come near me. I don't exactly know why, but I think I show too much of how I think in my attitude. I don't like people. I could not like them since I was a child. I even dislike myself because, unfortunately, I am a human too. That's why I cannot be nice to people when they talk to me. ... It's not that I detest them, but that's what the people around me thought. The word spread across campus quickly and within a month, nobody tried to communicate with me. I like a quiet environment too, so I have won an ideal environment.

But the ideal was not perfect. There is one student in my class that treats me, Ryohgi Shiki, as a friend. That guy with a last name like a French poet was a nuisance to me. A real nuisance indeed.

... I saw a person under a streetlight far away.

'' ''---What a strange thing for me, I remembered that guy's smile.

... That person's behavior was suspicious.

'' ''---Thinking back to it later, why did I...

... I followed the person for some reason.

'' ''---Why did I feel such a surge of violent excitement?

◇

Deep in the back alley, it was an another world. The dead end functioned as a room more than as a road. This thin road surrounded by the walls of the buildings must be an area without sunlight even during the daytime. I expected to see a homeless guy living in this blind spot of town. But not anymore. On the surrounding walls are brand new paint. This small alley is filled with something wet. The rotten smell of trash you usually smell in here is contaminated by an even stronger smell.

The sea of blood is around me. What appeared to be red paint is actually human blood. The blood is still flowing and filling up the alley. The smell is from this red liquid. In middle of it all is a human corpse. I can't see its expression. It seems his arms and legs were cut off and he looks more like a sprinkler showering out blood.

This place is not normal. Even the black of the night is covered with the redness of the blood.

'' ''---------In it all, Shiki is smiling. The sleeves of the light blue kimono are red. Kneeling down and touching the blood flowing on the ground, Shiki streaks it across her lips. The blood drips down her lips and her body shakes from rapture. That is the first lipstick Shiki has ever put on.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 07

2007-01-30T03:23:41Z

Bored tenshi:

That day, I chose to take the main street to go home. It was just on a whim, a very rare thing for me to do.

When I was walking through the buildings I see everyday, someone came crashing down. A wet crushing sound that you will normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died after falling off one of the buildings. A crimson color spreads across the ground. The only thing that's left noticeable was the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, weak-looking arms and legs... And the smashed up face. The whole scene was surrounded by the old summer, and it reminded me of a pressed flower that has flattened out from being in between a book.

I knew who it was. Hypnos (Sleep) returned after all by turning into Thanatos (reality). Walking on ignoring the people gathering, Azaka catches up to me.

"Tohko-san. She committed suicide by jumping off that building."

"Yeah, I guess so," I answer vaguely.

To be honest, I had no interest. No matter what the will of the person is, a suicide will be treated as a suicide. Her last will can be summed up with one word, not flight or floating, but by the word "fall". What's there is only misery, and there's no way you can be interested in that.

"I heard there was a lot of that last year, but is it still occurring a lot? I don't get what these people think about. Do you know, Tohko-san?'

"Yeah," I answer vaguely again

I answer while looking up at the sky, as if looking at an image not there.

"There's no reason for suicide. It's just that she wasn't able to fly today."

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 00

2007-01-30T03:22:16Z

Bored tenshi:

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 07

2007-01-30T03:20:53Z

Bored tenshi:

That day, I chose to take the main street to go home. It was just on a whim, a very rare thing for me to do.

When I was walking through the buildings I see everyday, someone came crashing down. A wet crushing sound that you will normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died after falling off one of the buildings. A crimson color spreads across the ground. The only thing that's left noticeable was the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, weak-looking arms and legs... And the smashed up face. The whole scene was surrounded by the old summer, and it reminded me of a pressed flower that has flattened out from being in between a book.

I knew who it was. Hypnos (Sleep) returned after all by turning into Thanatos (reality). Walking on ignoring the people gathering, Azaka catches up to me.

"Tohko-san. That was suicide by jumping off that building."

"Yeah, I guess so," I answer vaguely.

To be honest, I had no interest. No matter what the will of the person is, a suicide will be treated as a suicide. Her last will can be summed up with one word, not flight or floating, but by the word "fall". What's there is only misery, and there's no way you can be interested in that.

"I heard there was a lot of that last year, but is it still occurring a lot? I don't get what these people think about. Do you know, Tohko-san?'

"Yeah," I answer vaguely again

I answer while looking up at the sky, as if looking at an image not there.

"There's no reason for suicide. It's just that she wasn't able to fly today."

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 05

2007-01-25T02:17:38Z

Bored tenshi:

／4

I wake up after having a knife stabbed through my chest. The impact was tremendous. That person must have been really strong to pierce someone's chest that easily. But that was not a violent power. It did not have anything unnecessary, and it went in between the bones and the muscles like it was nothing. What a sense of unity!

The feeling of death that runs through my body. I hear the sound of my heart being pierced and ripped. The "feeling" of it hurt me more than the pain itself. Because that feeling was fear and pleasure incomparable to anything else.

The chill running through my spine is mind-boggling, and my whole body is trembling. There exists uneasiness, loneliness, and the will to live, and I cried without a sound.

Not because of fear or pain.

It's because this unfamiliar feeling of death was there... even for me, who every night wishes to be alive the next day.

I will never be able to escape this feeling

Since I have fallen in love with this feeling...

----

I hear the door open. The clock points two and it feels like the sun in shining through the closed window. It's not yet time for the examination, so maybe it's a visitor.

I have my own hospital room and there is no one else in here. What's there are the bright sunlight, curtains that never flutter from wind, and this bed.

"Excuse me, Are you Fujoh Kirie?"

It seems the visitor is a woman. Greeting me with a husky voice, she comes near me without sitting down or anything. It seems she's looking down at me. Her stare feels cold.

... This person is a scary person. She would probably bring me destruction.

But I was actually happy inside. Because it's been many years since I've had a visitor. I cannot send anyone back, even if the one who came visiting was death himself to finish me off.

"You are my enemy, right?"

The woman nods.

I try to focus and somehow see this visitor.

... It may be because of the strong sunlight, but I can only see her silhouette. She is not wearing a jacket, but her wrinkleless suit makes her look like a teacher and makes me relax. But her orange tie is rather flashy for her white shirt, I have to take some points off for that.

"Do you know that person, or are you that person?"

"No, I'm an acquaintance of both the one who attacked you and the one you attacked. We, you included, made contact with the weirdest people. We must be pretty unlucky."

Saying that, the woman takes out something from her pocket and puts it right back.

"I forgot you can't smoke in here. In addition, it seems your lungs are bad. The smoke would do you nothing but harm."

She sounds regretful. I guess it was a cigarette box she took out. I've never even touched one before, but I wanted to see this person smoke. Probably... no, surely it would suit her well like a lizard pant on a showcase mannequin.

"It's not just your lungs that are bad? That must be the reason, but there are lots of tumors all over your body. Starting with sarcoma, it's worse inside. It seems that hair of yours is the only thing normal. But it's amazing how much strength you have left. A normal person would have died before it got this bad. ... How many years has it been, Fujoh Kirie?"

She is probably asking about my hospitalization, but I cannot answer her.

"I don't know. I stopped keeping track."

Because it's meaningless. Because I won't be getting out of here until I die.

The woman nods and says, "I see."

I don't like her tone, as it contains no sympathy or dislike. The only thing I get from people is sympathy, but this person is not willing to give me even that.

"Is the place Shiki cut all right? I heard Shiki cut you around the heart area, near the main artery... I would assume it was in your bicuspid valve."

She says an amazing thing with an normal tone. I let out a smile from her weirdness.

"What a strange person. I wouldn't be able to talk to you like this if my heart was cut."

"Of course. That was just for confirmation."

I see. With that question she confirmed if I was the woman stabbed by that person who I couldn't tell as Japanese-styled or Western-styled.

"But the effect will come in time, Shiki's eyes are strong. Even if that thing was your double existence, the destruction will reach you in time.
I wanted to ask you a few things before that... which is why I came here."

Double existence... she must mean that other me.

"I haven't seen you actually floating. Can you tell me what that was?"

"I don't know either. The only view I can see is this view out of this window.

But maybe that was bad.

I've been looking down at the world from here. The trees showing the colors of the four seasons, people coming to the hospital in turns.

They cannot hear me even if I talk, and I cannot reach them no matter how far I stretch out my hands. I have been suffering all this time inside this room. I have been detesting this view for a long time. Isn't that what you would call cursing?"

"I see, it must be your Fujoh blood. Your bloodline is that of an old pure family. It seems they were specialized in prayers, but I see that their true powers were in curses. The name Fujoh might come from the word Fujoh (impure)."

Bloodline.

My family. But that came to an end a few years ago. Soon after I was hospitalized, my parents and my brother died in an accident. Since then, a friend of my father paid for my medical expenses.

"A curse is not something you do unconsciously. What did you wish for?"

... I don't know myself. Even she wouldn't know.

"... Have you ever longed for the outside world for a long time? For so many years that you lose touch with reality? I hated, detested, and feared the outside world. I was overlooking it all the time.
After a while, my eyes became weird. I was in the sky above that garden, and was overlooking the world below. It was a feeling like my eyes were flying around while my body and mind were still here. But since I can't move from here, all I can do is to overlook the area around here.

"You must have inputted the surrounding scenery into your mind. If that's the case, you should be able to think that you can see it from all directions. ...You started to lose your vision around that time too?"

I'm surprised. She knows I'm on the verge of losing my vision.

I nod.

"That's right. The world turned white and in the end, nothing was there. At first, I thought everything turned into darkness, but that was wrong.

Everything disappeared, or at least everything that can be seen.

But I had no problem with that. Because my eyes are already flying around. I can only see the scenery around this hospital, and I can't get out of here anyways.

"Nothing changed, nothing..."

Then, I cough. It's been a long time since I've talked this much, so my throat is burning.

"I see. So your mind was up in the sky. But then... why are you alive? If that ghost at the Fujiyoh building was your mind, you should have been killed by Shiki."

Yes, I am wondering the same thing.

That person... I guess the name is Shiki, but how was that person able to cut me?

That floating me cannot touch anything, but in return, I cannot be touched by anything. But that person killed me as if I had a real body.

"Answer me. The you at the Fujiyoh building, was that really Fujoh Kirie?"

"The me at the Fujiyoh building isn't me. Myself looking at the sky and myself in the sky, "that me" gave up on me and flew away. I have been left behind even by me myself."

The woman gasps. For the first time, she showed her emotion.

"It must not be that your personality split up. There was someone that gave you, who had one container, a second container. I see, you controlled two bodies with one mind. This is indeed nothing like before."

Now that she says so, that might have been the case.

I gave up on myself and was looking down on the world. But neither one of us could put our feet on the ground, and just ended up floating around. Since I am rejected by the world outside this window, there is no way for me to go out there no matter how much I wish for it.

It must mean that we were connected in the end.

"That makes sense. But why weren't you happy with just imagining the outside world? I don't think there was a need to let those girls fall."

Those girls...? Oh, I see, the girls I was jealous of. They were unfortunate. But I did not do anything, because the girls fell on their own.

"The you at the Fujiyoh building was more like a will. You used that, huh? Those girls were able to fly from the beginning, right? Even if it was just an image in their head, or if they really had the power to fly. People flying in their sleep isn't rare, but it never gets to be a problem. Why? Because they only do so in their sleep and they never even think about flying when they are awake. Since they are unconscious, they have no evil will when they are flying.

Those girls were special even in that case. We're not talking Peter Pan, but it's easier to fly when you're small. Maybe one or two might have actually floated, but most of them should have floated only in their dreams.

But you made them think about it. You gave them the impression they had while they were dreaming when they were awake.

As a result, they found out they could fly. Yes, they can fly... but only unconsciously. Flight with only human power is difficult. Even I cannot fly without a broom. The chance of flight under consciousness is about thirty percent. The girls tried to fly as usual, and fell as they were supposed to."

Yes, they were flying around me. I thought they could be my friends. But all they did was float around me like fishes without noticing me.

It was fast after I found out they had no consciousness. I just thought they would notice me if they had consciousness. That was the only reason, so why...

"Are you cold? You're trembling."

The woman's voice is cold like plastic.

I embrace myself as the chill does not go away.

"Let me ask you one more thing. Why did you admire the sky? You detested the outside world."

That's probably because...

"There is no end to the sky. I thought there would be a world I wouldn't detest if I could go as far as I want, if I could fly as far as I wanted."

The voice asks me if I found that world.

My chill does not stop. I tremble as if someone's shaking me, and my eyes are getting hotter.

I nod.

"... Every night, I feared I wouldn't be able to wake up the next day, I was scared I wouldn't live until tomorrow. I knew I wouldn't have the strength to wake up if I fell asleep.

The days like a tightrope were only filled with fear of death. But because of that, I could feel that I was alive.

I could only smell death everyday, but to live, only that smell was reliable.

Since I am nothing but a discarded shell, I can only feel alive when I am facing death."

That's right. That is why I like death more than life.

To fly anywhere, to go to anywhere I want...

"You took my boy as a companion to death?"

"No. At that time, I didn't know. I was attached to life and I wanted fly while being alive. I should have been able to do so with him."

"You and Shiki are similar. You guys have a bit of salvation in that you guys both chose Kokutoh. It's not a bad thing to search for the feeling of being alive in someone else."

Kokutoh. I see, so that Shiki person came to take him back.

I guess my savior was also my death. I have no regret in that though.

"That person is really childish. He is always so straight. That's why he should be able to fly to anywhere he wants if he tried.

... I wanted for him to take me."

My eyes are hot. I don't get it, but I'm probably crying.

Not because I'm sad... If I could really go somewhere with him, how much happiness would that have been? it's something that wouldn't come true, because it's a dream that shouldn't come true, that's why it's so beautiful that it makes me cry. That is the only dream I've had in the past few years.

"But Kokutoh has no interest in the sky. The more one wants the sky, the farther they are from it, huh? How ironic."

"You're right. I have heard that humans have many things they don't need. I was only able to float. I could not fly, and all I managed was to stay floating."

The burning in my eyes disappeared. Probably, this will never again happen in the future.

What's controlling me right now is only this chill inside of me.

"Sorry to be a bother. This is the last question, but what will you do now? I can heal that wound Shiki gave you."

Without answering, I shake my head. It seems the woman frowned a bit.

"I see...

There are two ways to escape. Escape without purpose, and escape with a purpose. You call the former floating and the latter flight,

You are the one to decide which one your overlooking view was. But if you choose one out of guilt, that's wrong. You shouldn't choose the path ahead of you based on the sins you carry, but you should rather carry the sins on the path you choose."

Then the woman leaves. The woman has not told me her name, but I know there was no need to.

... She must have known what I would choose from the beginning. Because I could not fly, and all I could do was to float.

Since I'm weak, I cannot do as she said. That's why I cannot overcome this temptation. The flash of light I felt when I was stabbed in my heart. The overwhelming torrent of death and the beat of life. I always thought I had nothing, but there is still that simple thing left in me.

What's there is death.

This fear that sends a chill down my spine. I have to feel the most death I can to feel the happiness of life. For everything in my life I have ignored until now. But it probably would be impossible to die like I did that night. I probably cannot hope for such a striking end. That death pierced me like a lightening, like a needle, like a sword. That's why I will try to come as close to that as possible. I don't have any idea right now but I still have a few days to think about it. And I've already decided on the method. I don't think I even need to say this, but I think my end should be a long fall from a place overlooking the earth.

Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 04

2007-01-20T05:42:10Z

Bored tenshi:

→／3

'' ''---------The bone in my nape creaks.

Is the coldness that's making me tremble coming from outside or inside my body?

Leaving what can't be distinguished aside, Shiki keeps walking.

There's no sign of people at the Fujiyoh building.

It's two in the morning. Only the white light illuminates the hallway of the mansion. The cream-colored walls are lightened up by the light and I could see to the end of the hallway. The artificial light which takes away the darkness looks too artificial that it rather looks scary.

Passing by the card checker at the entrance, I enter the elevator.

It's empty inside. The back of the elevator has a mirror attached, and it is made so that the rider could see themselves. Inside the mirror is a person wearing a black leather jacket over light blue kimono, with lazy looking eyes. Those eyes look like they care about nothing.

Shiki looks at the figure in the mirror, and pushes the button that says "R". With a small start-up sound, the world around Shiki rises. The machine-powered box will reach the top floor in a matter of seconds.

It is a closed up room for the time being. Nothing occurring outside right now concerns Shiki, and it is impossible to be concerned with the outside world. That feeling seeps into the supposedly empty mind. This small box is the only world I'm supposed to feel right now.

The door opens without a sound. What's outside is a totally different world, a world of darkness.

After getting out to the room which only contains the door leading to the rooftop, the elevator leaves Shiki and goes back down to the first floor. There are no lights, and the surrounding is painfully dark.

Going across the small room, Shiki opens the door leading to the rooftop.

... The deep darkness becomes faint.

The outline of the city fills my vision.

The rooftop of the Fukiyoh building is a plain one. The floor is made of flat concrete, and there is a fence that surrounds the whole rooftop. There is only a water tower on top the room Shiki was in, and there is nothing else in particular. The rooftop itself is a plain one. But the view from it is what is out of this world.

The view of the night town from this building that is at least ten stories higher than its surroundings feels more lonely than beautiful. It feels like you're on top a tall ladder looking down onto the world. The dark, bottom of the sea-like view is certainly beautiful. The lights here and there are like the lights of Anglerfish.

If my view right now is the whole world, then the world right now is indeed sleeping. Probably forever, but unfortunately temporary. The quietness tightens my heart more than any coldness, and it is rather painful...

The coldness in the night sky is standing out as much as the coldness below. If the town is the deep sea, then the sky is just pure darkness. In the darkness, stars glitter like jewels. The moon is a hole. It only looks like a large hole in a big black canvas called the night sky. So that thing is really not a mirror of the sun, but rather a view of the other side... That's what I heard at the house of the Ryohgi. According to them, the moon is a gate to another world.

Since ancient times, the moon has carried magic, women, and death. And with that moon behind it, a human form is floating...

... With eight girls flying around it.

◇

The white figure in the night sky is that of a woman. She wears a fancy white cloth that one might mistaken for a dress, and has long, black hair reaching down to her waists. Her arms and legs are slender, and it makes this woman look even more beautiful.

The thin brow and the cold eyes are beautiful. I can estimate she's in her twenties. Although its doubtful that you can fit an age for a living thing onto something like a ghost.

But the white woman is not abstract like a ghost. She is really there. If you want ghosts, the girls floating around the woman are more like it. The girls floating around aimlessly seems more like swimming than flying. Even their figures are abstract, as they turn transparent from time to time.

What's above Shiki right now are the white woman and the girls floating around the woman, as if to protect her.

The whole sight is not horrifying. No, this is more like...

"Hmph, this is indeed demonic."

Shiki sneers.

This woman's beauty is already not that of a human's. Her black hair is especially beautiful, as each seems like silk. If the wind was strong, her figure with the hair flowing would have been a profound beauty.

"Then I have to kill you"

Maybe she heard Shiki's murmur, as the woman looks down. The woman is four meters above this rooftop already over forty meters high. The woman and Shiki's gazes meet.

There are no words to speak, nor is there a language to communicate with.

Shiki puts a hand in the jacket and takes out a knife. A weapon more like a sword than a knife, with a blade about eighteen centimeters long. (7 inches)

Shiki's mind fills with the strong intent to kill coming the gaze from above her.

The white figure sways. Her arm flows and a slender finger points at Shiki. That slender, fragile arm does not remind Shiki of white.

"... More like bones, or a lily"

In the windless night, the voice stayed in the air for a long time.

----

The will put into the fingertip is the intent to kill.

The white fingertip points at Shiki.

Shiki's head sways. The thin body steps once to regain its balance. But only once.

"---------"

The woman overhead hesitated a bit from that.

The suggestion that "you can fly" is not working on this person.

Her power can give someone the impression that "they were flying", and it's more like brainwashing than suggestion. There's no way to fight it, and as a result, one actually tries to fly, or runs away from the fear of being able to fly. But Shiki was able to stand it with just a small daze.

"---------"

The woman wonders if the contact was too weak, and decides to use suggestion again.

But this time, stronger. Not a weak impression like "you can fly", but she orders "you have to fly".

But before that, Shiki looks at the woman.

One on each of her legs, one on her back, and one point on her left chest. The cutting section called death can be certainly seen. The one on her chest would be a good one to aim for. That would be an instant kill. Even if that woman is just an image, I could even kill God if it is alive.

Shiki raises the knife with one hand. Holding the knife backwards, Shiki looks at the enemy in the sky.

Then, the impulse attacks Shiki again.

... I can fly. I can fly. I liked the sky from before. I was flying yesterday too. I could probably fly higher today. Freely. Feeling peaceful. Laughing. I have to go quickly...

Where? To the sky? Free? ... That's...

Escape from reality. Yearn for the sky. Reaction to gravity. No feet on ground. Flight under unconsciousness.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go------------------ GO!

"You've got to be kidding me."

Saying that, Shiki raises the empty left hand.

The suggestion does not work anymore. Shiki is not even phased.

"I don't have that kind of admiration for the sky. I don't feel alive, so I don't know the pain of living. To be honest, I don't care about you at all."

... A murmur more like singing.

Shiki does not feel any restraint, joy or sorrow in life.

That's why Shiki is not attracted to the liberation from pain.

"But I don't like for you to keep him. I got him first, so I'm taking him back."

Shiki's left hand grabs the empty air and pulls back.

As if being pulled by the left hand, the woman and the girls are pulled toward Shiki. Like fishes being pulled in with a net.

"---------!"

The woman's expression changes. She puts more power into her will and pounds it on Shiki.

If she could communicate with Shiki, she would have screamed,

"Fall."

Ignoring the curse, Shiki responds in a scary tone.

"You fall."

The knife pierces the chest of the woman coming down. As easy as stabbing a fruit, and so precise that even the one who was stabbed admires it.

There is no blood.

The woman could not move from the shock of the knife piercing her, and convulses just once.

Shiki casually throws the corpse to the other side of the fence, into the dark city.

The woman's body goes past the edge and falls without a sound. Her hair does not flutter even during the fall, and disappears into the night as her white robes vanish in the wind.

It was like a white flower sinking deep into the ocean.

And then, Shiki leaves the rooftop.

Above, the floating girls still remains...