Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

User talk:EusthEnoptEron

2017-06-07T18:36:36Z

EusthEnoptEron:

__NOTOC__
==Permission, Hakomari, Illustration - Indonesia==
Hello, I'm the Indonesian Translator of Hakomari. I have just finished it since I love the story, and also because of your great works of translating them to English, thank you. And I've read your translation of Tabi ni Deyou, I'm kinda interested to translate it to Indonesian, since it your works, can I get the permission to do that?

And also, I really just want to gave up on cleaning the illustration of Hakomari... Well, maybe I could do it, but it may not be as good as it should. So, may I get the clean version of the Hakomari Illustration?

Last, I'm sorry for my bad English, maybe I could understand, but I still couldn't express them well, hehe. Oh, and also my bad html coding (if there is any).

Thank you
[[User:Sakamiyo|Sakamiyo]] ([[User talk:Sakamiyo|talk]]) 15:33, 6 March 2017 (CET)

==On Tsukumodo Volume 2 - Self==
I'm wondering, in Kishitani's memory sharing session, you gave a comment that Kishitani (the real one) refers to his copy as himself in the memories, but in most of the memories, Kishitani refers to his copy as 'he'. So which one do you think is actually right? [[User:Properparadox|Properparadox]] ([[User talk:Properparadox|talk]]) 09:43, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
: I took a quick look at the original and it seems like the usage is also mixed. He refers to the person in the memory-sharing sequence as "I" and "copy". The situation in Japanese is a bit different, though, since first-person and third-person are grammatically the same and personal pronouns are used very sparsely. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:41, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
Okay, thanks. [[User:Properparadox|Properparadox]] ([[User talk:Properparadox|talk]]) 19:49, 3 July 2015 (UTC)

==About Hakomari==
May I know what font you use for the colored illust? I would like to photoshop vol 6 for personal use (and maybe for public use as well) and want to keep it the same with your photoshopping. Or have you done vol 6 already? I want to help, if it's the latter. [[User:Castor212|Castor212]] ([[User talk:Castor212|talk]]) 04:48, 2 June 2015 (CDT)
:I'm using Georgia for them. That said, I already typeset the illustrations ages ago, but haven't uploaded them for some reason that I don't remember. Probably because the texts aren't fully edited. So if you're planning to slap on English text, you may want to wait. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 15:55, 2 June 2015 (CDT)

Aye aye then. Is volume 7 is still in your schedule, btw? [[User:Castor212|Castor212]] ([[User talk:Castor212|talk]]) 21:08, 2 June 2015 (CDT)

Excuse me EEE; may I know what's the status of volume 6 colored illustration? Also, is there any secific reason of why you use different font for vol 7 illustration? Just asking. Sorry if I sound nagging, but this is really gnawing at me since it's the only thing that felt incomplete :p
[[User:Castor212|Castor212]] ([[User talk:Castor212|talk]]) 17:02, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

Thank you so, so much for translating Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria! I have read many, many light novels, and quite a few web novels. I now name UnHtZnM my favorite LN/WN of all time. Among Visual Novels, I've read pretty much every single translated plot-oriented VN, and only Muv-Luv Alternative can match it. Without your translation of this absolute masterpiece, I would not have even heard of it. Appreciate your hard work!!!

==Hoping for an answer==

Wrote to you a while back. If you've read the message, can you please give some kind of answer, so I know that you didn't miss it. If you did miss it, here's the copypaste:

It's been quite a while since I left some tsukumodo questions [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Make-Up|here]]. Just wanted to say that half of them still remain unanswered, just in case you forgot. Although, if you don't have time or don't feel like it, I would undestand.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 14:44, 9 February 2015 (CST)

But this could be left for later. the most urgent question is from vol 3 chapter 2:

i had an argument with another translator regarding the relic (string + key). he thinks the string is something like a metallic wire or guitar string (much less flexible). i think it's more like yarn, thread or rope (very flexible). who is right?
: Sorry about that -- I was just being lazy. Anyway, regarding your question: the text just says "[http://dictionary.goo.ne.jp/leaf/je2/4074/m1u/%E7%B3%B8/ 糸]", which can be both in my view, so it's up to interpretation, I guess. I personally pictured it to myself as a thin wire because it was also used in a wind-up mechanism. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:26, 29 March 2015 (CDT)

Thanks.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]]

== Kamisu Reina Series Audio Novel Project Permission ==

Hey, ich wollte fragen, ob ich ein Hoerbuch von der Kamisu Reina Series erstellen darf. [[User:chocolatehearta|chocolatehearta]]([[User talk:chocolatehearta|talk]])
: Nur zu. Wäre cool die Story mal zu hören. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:52, 27 December 2014 (CST)
Echt klasse, Danke! :) [[User:Chocolatehearta|Chocolatehearta]] ([[User talk:Chocolatehearta|talk]]) 11:17, 29 December 2014 (CST)

== Permission for Hakomari as an Audio Novel Project ==

Hi, first of all, I'd like to thank you so much for the awesome translation you did of Hakomari, it looks professional and polished, well done! I'd like to ask if you're going to continue it if more volumes of Hakomari come out.

Now, for my main subject. Since you seem to be quite active, I'm sure you've noticed that an [[Audio_Recordings|Audio Novel section]] has opened up in the sidebar. That's the result of discussion between myself and some other enthusiasts in the forums, and what we aim to do is create audiobooks of translation scripts done by contributors. However, due to recent discussion, we've come to the conclusion that it is best to ask permission from the translators themselves, if their scripts can be used as Audio Novel bases, because of the section in the Translation Common Agreement that states that all translations belong to their respective translators.

Therefore, as respectfully as possible, I'd like to request permission to use your translation of Hakomari as a script for an Audio Novel Project of Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria.

Again, I love your work, and thanks for reading! - [[User:Defan752|Defan752]]([[User talk:Defan752|talk]]) - 3:40 PM, July 8, 2014 (UTC+8)

: Hey, great to hear that you like Hakomari. I'm definitely going to translate the last volume once it comes out.
: Regarding the audio novel projects; yes, I've heard of them and I would love to see Hakomari among them. ;) So feel free to use my translations for your project and good luck! [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 09:29, 8 July 2014 (CDT)

== Asking permission for creating the main Page Gekkou (Indonesian) and Translate it ==

Hey, thank you for the English translation of Gekkou, I really loved it, so great, just for notice, I read Hakomari too, and it was really awesome, and your translation is great too ^^ Thanks for both hardwork, Hakomari and Gekkou.

And so, to the main reason, I'm asking permission to creating the main page for Gekkou in Indonesian, and translate it, because I don't know what should I do, I just make it, then submit it, but forget to ask Permission, so you're the one that come to my mind, though.
So, just you know, I'm starting to translate, feel free to put critic. Thank you for reading this ^^ - [[User:Azurey|Azurey]]([[User talk:Azurey|talk]]) - 3:40 AM, 6 July 2014 (GMT +7)
: Great to hear that you liked it! :D Feel free and go ahead with a Indonesian translation. Drop me a message if you need help with anything. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 18:51, 5 July 2014 (CDT)

== Regarding Gekkou ==

Gekkou:The Stubborn Will of the Crescent Moon

By any change, did anyone sudmit you the japanese version on Gekkou:The Stubborn Will of the Crescent Moon? Just wondering...
: Nah, but there were a few people that offered to translate the Chinese version, although I haven't heard of them ever since. Nockgeneer (the guy who posted the introduction) might still be at it, though, since it's only been two months since he started. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 06:23, 29 June 2013 (CDT)

Haha thx for the nformation.Was hoping have more to it, since the story was left hanging.

So.........is nockgeneer still doing Crescent Moon who hate to lose/ stubborn whatever? -[[User:Par74583|Par74583]]

== Asking permission for creating a wikia page for Tsukumodo Antique Shop ==

Hi,
let me first thank you for all the wonderful translations that you've done till date, and also for the one's that you'll be doing in future.

Personally Tsukumodo series is one of my favorites. So I was thinking about creating a wikia page for it using your translations as the source material, and that's only if you are okay with it and if it's not fine with you then I will delete everything that I've done. The story till now is so fantastic and fascinating that I would like to tell about this series to all the people out there who are looking for a good read.
Again, thanks for all the translation works.
--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 06:54, 27 July 2013 (CDT)
:Hey, great to hear that you're enjoying Tsukumodo. I hope that I can find some more time to put into this project in the near future -- I want to translate the last volume badly. Regarding the Wikia page: feel free to create that page and spread the word. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:47, 27 July 2013 (CDT)
Well then, will start working on that wiki. Till date i had just done some edits and this will be my first original page. So, i'm pretty slow and might screw up a little. If possible, drop by the page sometime. Once again, thankyou for the trans and will eagerly be waiting for further updates on Tsukumodo :) --[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 22:17, 27 July 2013 (CDT)

==IRC==

hi, your irc channel doesn't seem to be working. can I reach you somewhere else where we could talk in real time?--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 12:19, 7 August 2013 (CDT)
:Hm? Must be a problem with your IRC client, then. Anyway, you can reach me in the forums via PM or by good old e-mail (umikarayattekita[@t]yahoo.co.jp) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 15:46, 7 August 2013 (CDT)
:Oh, just noticed you said "real-time". In this case, currently no, unless you can catch me at the right time, in which case I'd dig up my Skype account. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 15:48, 7 August 2013 (CDT)

well, in any case, if you can dig up your skype and it wouldn't be too much trouble for you - that'd be awesome actually.i'm idiffer1 in skype--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 16:23, 7 August 2013 (CDT)

== Permission for "Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (French)" ==

Maybe it's a little late to ask for the permission now, since the page is already made (I'm sorryyyyyy ><), but can I make a french translated version Of Hakomari ? I planed to translate your version, since nobody did it for those who can't read english ><
Ah, and I want to use this post to give you a big thanks for this light novel. I enjoyed Zero no Maria a lot, thanks to you :D

: Heyho - glad you enjoyed it and are tackling a French translation! (And hey, maybe that'll help me brush up my French skills, which are in a meager state even after years of taking lessons (albeit involuntarily)! OK, probably not... :D)
:Also, don't worry: actually, Misogi already asked me for permission. Besides, I don't really mind what my translations are used for. :D Just ask me if anything's unclear to you.

YAY ! Thanks a lot ! I'll work hard ;)

Thanks for your remarks on the Project Page, they are correct. - [[User:Misogi|Misogi]] 17:30, 15 January 2014 (GMT+1)

== Hen Ai Saikederikku ==
yo, wollt mich mal erdreisten zu fragen ob jemand spass dran hät Hen Ai Saikederikku zu überstzen? (von mir aus auf deutsch aber englisch macht wohl echt mehr sinn ><). und mit jemand meine ich dich...
: Lustig - erst vor zwei Tagen hat mich jemand das genau gleiche gefragt. Die Antwort bleibt aber leider gleich: Ich fand Hen'ai Psychedelic recht langweilig und habe deshalb kein Interesse an einer Übersetzung. Dazu kommt, dass Mamiya die Serie anscheinend eh nicht weiterführt, von dem her... [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 18:23, 5 April 2014 (CDT)

:: hmm, schade aber trotzdem danke. Ich verlass mich mal drauf dass es wirklich nich so gut is

==Tsukumodo TL help + translate extension==
hi, it's me again. couldn't find you on your irc, so gonna ask here. can you pls clarify a few lines in tsukumodo vol 1 ch 4?

"Mm? Well, if you only open it, sure."

(meaning? that she opens it and does nothing else? is this his joke?)
: While she asks in the traditional sense, he only means to say that she "may take a look" because he doesn't actually want to give it to her / wants it back later.

''It'll be time for work in no time if I just hang around in my crumbly 9 square feet apartment.''

(is he deliberately understating the number of feet?)
: Whoops. Pretty bad mistake on my part. It's supposed to be 80 square feet, or 4 1/2 tatami mats if you want to keep the Japanese counter-part.
And are you by any chance planning on using the TL extension on tsukumodo?

--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 14:39, 17 April 2014 (CDT)
: Nah, at the moment I have no plans of using the extension. As far as I know, it's not ready for production use anyway. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:50, 17 April 2014 (CDT)
:Thanks.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 18:11, 17 April 2014 (CDT)

tsukumodo vol 1 ch 3:

I wasn't going to remember that face forever.

(are you sure it's not the opposite? was going to?)--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 07:26, 25 April 2014 (CDT)
: Good catch. I probably tried to phrase it by using "forget" first, but then changed my mind and got things mixed up. Anyway, the correct translation is something along the lines of "Never would I forget the face that he'd shown me then." [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:37, 25 April 2014 (CDT)

same chapter:

But there are people who have to rely on such a superstition (can't talk about others).

(the thing in the parenthesis - what is it? a reminder for herself? cause she already talked about others...)
: He is just noting (in an ironic tone) that he resorted to that superstition himself.
If you do, one of my important part-timers might come to a bad end."

(like in a visual novel?)
: It works, but it's not an explicit reference to a bad end. A more accurate translation would be that she'd lose one of her part-timers, or that one of them would die.
I prepared chicken sauteed with a potato salad,

(so the chicken is cooked together with the salad in the same frying pan?)
: Dammit, mixed French with English. Should be "chicken sautée" or "sauteed chicken", and in addition to that dish a potato salad.
"Note?"

(doeas this line belong to towako or saki?)
: From the context, I assume it belongs to Saki.

btw, is it alright to use your talk page like this or do u want to move this somewhere else? i'm sure i'll have more questions as i translate. on a side note, good thing it benefits you too - the error catching thing... and are you going to TL vol 3 ch 1? the other translator hasn't been active in a long time + i've read he uses machine translations.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 15:50, 25 April 2014 (CDT)
: Actually, I don't mind either way. But perhaps, putting your comments on the talk page of the chapter would be easier. Regarding the first chapter: Last I heard of him (January, 2014) he still wanted to finish the translation. For now, I started with the first chapter of V4 -- I'll look into the matter after that. At any rate, I'll make sure to give his translation a thorough TLC pass to make sure it's correct. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:26, 25 April 2014 (CDT)

threw in another couple of questions in tsukumodo vol 2 chapter 2.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 13:02, 1 August 2014 (CDT)
----
Posted a few questions about [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Silence]]. And big thanks for volume 4. BTW, did someone edit the text or have you improved your english?--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 09:49, 18 September 2014 (CDT)
: Okay, I tried to answer your questions. No problem re: volume 4; I'm excited that we're slowly getting to the main story line. v5c1 will finally present the antagonists. I didn't have anyone edit the translations for v4 yet, although I do plan to do so myself should I ever find the time. I'm glad if it already reads well, though. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 13:29, 18 September 2014 (CDT)
----
Sorry to bother you again so soon, but I ended up being the TLC for the russian translation of "Tabi ni deyou" (which is inevitably done from your translation), so if you could answer [[Talk:Tabi ni Deyou:Dream| these 6 questions]] when you have the time, that would be awesome.

About tsukumodo vol 4 - I'll try to find the time to correct the small mistakes I did notice. --[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 11:48, 21 September 2014 (CDT)
----
Posted some Tsukumodo questions [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Make-Up|here]]. Whenever you have the time... Thanks in advance.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 10:19, 29 October 2014 (CDT)
----
It's been quite a while since I left some tsukumodo questions [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Make-Up|here]]. Just wanted to say that half of them still remain unanswered, just in case you forgot. Although, if you don't have time or don't feel like it, I would undestand.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 14:44, 9 February 2015 (CST)

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<div class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">'''Old Comments'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content" style="display: none">

Hehe, that was the reason behind that ;) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 20:59, 22 December 2009 (UTC)
:The page contents box? I don't know if it's useful, really. The reasons I removed it:
:# it blows up the layout (admittedly not badly)
:# the titles looked like "1.1 1", "1.1 2" (could be fixed, thought)
:# I haven't seen anything like this on any other BT project.
:On the other hand, it might not be a bad thing and reflects the content of the chapter. Freshness and accessibility. So I don't mind either way. ;)
:[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 22:33, 22 December 2009 (UTC)

Ah, but I have seen it in some projects (like [[To_Aru_Majutsu_no_Index:Volume12_Chapter1|here]] and [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru:Volume1_Chapter1|here]] and I believe also somewhere else if the chapters were divided in subsections (so I thought its custom ;)) (I think for some its for a easier navigation in the chapter or to differentiate the pages - who knows for sure) Also I dont know if much could be done to change the titles of the subsections (but also one can hide the content) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 23:59, 22 December 2009 (UTC)
:You got me. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 11:26, 23 December 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your work on Utsuro no Hako. I'm enjoying it.

Want to second that emotion! Thanks so much EEE!

What? Who? When did you translate this and why haven't I noticed it from the beginning? This is an excellent series and you translated an entire volume a month...that's ungodly. I just wanted to write here to say how awesome it's been reading this series (just finished the first book--I hated the way the author had me with the 'owner' mystery because of his cheap shot) and that I seriously congratulate you on your translations. Sure, they aren't perfect, but you clearly tell this wonderful story, and I'm definitely glad I read it. I truly hope you continue translating ^^.

Totally not trying to butter you up into translating more,

~Blaster

:Thanks for the positive messages Blaster and anon IPs. :D I'm really glad you guys enjoyed the story as much as I did, which is what drove me to translate the whole thing. Though, I'm still not sure just how readable I can translate an already quite complicated book like this. But for now, I think I'll keep translating at least until volume 4 (since volume 3 is my favorite one and hell of a cliff-hanger). [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 17:53, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, is there any way to contact you (skype/msn/whatever)? --LoSs 09:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Email (Romanize without spaces): 海からやって来た[_at_]yahoo.co.jp [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:14, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Also for registered users is down in the toolbox an option to email another user if the other user has allowed that ;) also there are PM's possible at the forum (for registerd users) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 13:27, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Great job. This novel is very good and I'm really happy that you're translating it. Keep up the good work.

The reason why I signed up to edit was mainly because of your awesome work with Utsuro no Hako, since I wanted to help out by doing whatever I could. Looking forward to working on more in the future! --[[User:Enthormw|Enthormw]] 20:53, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
:Thanks a bunch for the great edits! The awkward English I use is always my biggest worry, so I'm glad someone improves the flow and gets rid of some spelling mistakes for me. ;) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 21:04, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== Asking permission for Vietnamese translation of Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I find this novel interesting with a bit mysterious. Therefore, I would like to translate Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria into Vietnamese based on your translation. Would you mind if I use this as source?

Thank you for reading.
:Feel free to use it. Also, just ask if you need some help understanding a part. (It's not edited yet, so things might be more confusing than they are already.) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:19, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

== Spanish translation/Praise ;) ==

Hi! I've just finished reading the first volume, with it's many twists and turns in a way that is almost unbelievable, this has definitely gotten to be another one of my favorite series here at B-T. For that, I'd like to thank you for translating it into a language I can read! So, thank you very much!

I've liked this so much that I hope you won't mind me translating this into spanish!! (After I can peel my eyes off of it... or rather, I get to the last translated chapter)

Again, thanks for making this awesome light novel available in english. :)

-[[user:Mertius|Mertius]]

:I'd love to see UnH in Spanish, so please go for it! :D Spread the Maria-love~ Good luck if you're going to tackle it (I hope you like the other volumes as well). [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:28, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

== Hidan no Aria/Praise ==

Thanks for the edits on Hidan no Aria most of the time I do the translations at night before I go to sleep so mistakes are often made especially since Japanese is my third language.

I would also like to thank you for your translation of Utsuru no hako to zero no maria because I have read it, and it was a great novel.

== great novel i've ever read ==

arigatou for translating this series of novel, you manage to update this series very fast(heard the 4th volume in japan just came this june). i very like it. and i hope u never get bored o translate this series(i'm beging on you please he..he, and i wonder how u can learn japanese language? i too want to learn japanese as well, but i don't know the effective way to learn it, so i hope u can give some tips or advise to us what is the effective way to learn japanese.

:Nice that you liked it! As for Japanese, I present you the Eusth's four steps to Japanese:
:# Read the [http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/all-japanese-all-the-time-ajatt-how-to-learn-japanese-on-your-own-having-fun-and-to-fluency stuff on here]
:# Meditate for a few days if you '''really''' want to sacrifice ''a lot'' of time for Japanese. That's what the Japanese call 覚悟!
:# Fight yourself through the 3000 Kanji and the Kana as mentioned on AJATT
:# Read, listen, live Japanese. Maybe even set a limit of how long you allow yourself to read something other than Japanese (I used [http://www.proginosko.com/leechblock.html LeechBlock]. 
:Well, that's one way. What's most important is that you get started. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:46, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

== Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I've found many positive comments about this novel. Could you tell me where I can read this novel in japanese language?
: Either buy the novels at YesAsia / bk1 or you should find the raws without much trouble through google. (except of volume4. There are no scans yet) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

Would you like me to make a nav template for utsuro? [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 04:44, 25 August 2011 (CDT)
:Thanks, but I don't think it needs one. Considering the unconventional chaptering and the fact that there's no table of contents in the original novel at all, I want the reader to see as little as possible of the flow of the story. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 05:19, 25 August 2011 (CDT)

Alright, your choice. Though I don't see how it would show the flow seeing it doesn't show it on the main page. If there are any other projects you're supervising and you think it might need one feel free to ask. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 05:25, 25 August 2011 (CDT)

am i correct that now it's not zero but O, pronounced like oh?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 16:39, 14 July 2012 (CDT)
: Correct. In fact, I've known that for 2 years now but didn't bother to change it because there was no proof. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 17:38, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

Suddenly full text? Thank you based EEE. [[User:Undesco|undesco]] ([[User talk:Undesco|talk]]) 17:45, 26 August 2012 (CDT)

== My most sincere thanks ==

Really, I must say that I love how Eiji Mikage develops his characters. As soon as I noticed that you had uploaded the rest of the volume 4, I couldn't stop reading it until I was finished. Koudai Kamiuchi didn't dissapoint me in the least. Oh well, later I'll see if I can help a little bit with the editing (I'm not adept at rephrasing sentences since I learnt english by myself). Oh and thanks for the Eusth's way to Japanese, eventually I plan to learn it too lol. [[User:Lne|Lne]] 04:20, 3 August 2010 (UTC)
:I agree. Whew, I need to read his other works one of these days. Ah, and I noticed that you already corrected some of my edits, thanks for that! :D And good luck if you ever start learning Japanese. You'll discover its beauty～ [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== Haha, once again ==
I commented on how awesome you were at translating, and how awesome this series was, so I wanted to do something for when you finished, too. Honestly--you rock. That story made my day. I even figured out the ending of the 'Game of Idleness' early! God, I think that was the only thing I figured out early. I mean, really. How hard is this book to catch on early anyway? :/ Anyway, thank you so much! Haha, I'd love to talk more but you have no email or instant messenger to contact you D: Oh well. It was an epic, amazing, awesome read.

Thanks again,

~Blaster

:Glad you liked it! Finally I've accomplished what I announced in my previous answer to you ("translate until volume 4") but I guess, I'll also translate volume 5 when it comes out (and I still have time on my hands). :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== ONCE AGAIN!! ==

Thankyoou!!!.... finally all the chapter have been translated. thanks for your hard word, and thanks for your tips that you mentioned above(topic: great novel i've ever read, i'm the same person). BTW, do u know when the next chapter come out and another series that the author mentioned is?? i want to read it so badly >_<.
anyway thankyou for your hard work.(seriously ^_^) i can't wait for you next project, so gambattene..!!
:No idea when the new one comes out (maybe end of this year, beginning of next?), but his other project could possibly be [[Talk:Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4_Author's_Notes|冥王星O]]. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== Dantalian no Shoka/Vietnamese Translation/Praise ==

I'm quite a fan of dark fantasy, mystery so I find this novel great. Would you mind if I translate it into vietnamese?

Anyway thank you so much for translating HakoMari and this novel! I love them both! Hope you can finish vol 1 soon :D.

P/s: I can't find the raw of vol 1 anywhere. If you got 1 pls pm me at diablofanno1@yahoo.com.
:I sent you an e-mail if you didn't see it yet. But as I mentioned there as well: feel free to translate it. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

hey, just wanna check with you whether you have any plans to resume dantalian no shoka. Thanks for all your hard work on volume 1 btw--[[User:Hayashi s|Hayashi s]] 11:13, 27 June 2012 (CDT)
: Heyho. Nah, no plans. The stories themselves are enjoyable, but the lack of a common thread and a worthwhile end makes a translation pointless in my eyes. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 11:42, 27 June 2012 (CDT)
== Thank you post ==

I want to say thank you. I just finished reading Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria vol.1. <s>While I couldn't scream awesome on the novel itself just yet, It's great.</s> Finished vol.2, this series is awesome. And I can honestly say you're awesome. Thanks for your work.
--[[User:Hypernova|Hypernova]] 01:36, 11 August 2010 (UTC)

== Edits ==

For Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria, why edit "fufu" to "hehe"? The former is more of a sinister/evil strange laugh, and it doesn't translate to "hehe". For this series, that kind of laugh is fitting of the characters. I hope you didn't change all the fufu to hehe in your translations! (including Dantalian no Shoka) [[User:Imagker|Imagker]] 19:38, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

:Mh, actually I was planning to change most of them. Fufu just seems so non-English. But I agree that it's not really replaceable 1:1. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 19:41, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

In anime/manga/games/LN/etc, "fufu/fu fu fu" is normally associated with maniacal characters or evil to smugged, cold, sadistic, just plain amused characters who are devising a plan, etc. It'd be betraying their archetype design if we had them say hehe or something else entirely. I'll go through each chapter to see if there are any more changes and will revert them back to fufu... If that's fine with you. If yes, then, if you can recall any part where you originally went with hehe instead of fufu during your draft, can you change those too? [[User:Imagker|Imagker]] 21:46, 24 August 2010 (UTC)
:Well, okay then, I guess. There are some instances in volume 4 - I'll change them. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:32, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Fufu shall be evil laughing? I wouldnt understand that... --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 19:55, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Hmmm, as far as i know it´s more accurate to say that is a "meaningful laugh", where it´s abit on the mocking side, is a bit hard to describe but it doesn´t truly have to be done by an evil character; afterall, since it´s "meaningul", it generally points at something, or indicates something that the character finds amusing, in fact is rather hard to use it in any other form without it feeling out of place.(Well in fact i can think of one instance in Hakomari that´s a good example of it´s general use but...well i´m already quite long-winded as it is...)
[[User:Caramu|Caramu]] 20:17, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

:Yeah, and "hihi" "hehe" "huhu" "haha" "hrhr" just all feel off. Fufu doesn't look good, but I think it gets across the correct meaning at least. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 21:20, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

why don't you also translate the japanese inscription in vol.3 illustration?in other vol.(2 and 4 especially)they were meaningful and interesting insight into the charactr's thought that weren't in the novel.
furthermore,it really hurt me to see how much you work to edit/improve the novel(:even changing the past-present tense in previous novel);i of course apprectiate all you(and kadi) did to transqalte those 4 vol. so fast.No word could express how grateful i am-only money could-but i think you should no overwork yourself so much.but it's just my opinion;i hope i didn't offend you.
:Aah, I forgot about those. I'll add them when I have time. Regarding the edits; it's my favorite LN, so I want it to be at the highest possible level. :D And I'm not really working on any other project right now, so I can go on about it quite relaxed. But thanks for your opinion. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:21, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

=Thank you=
Finished the entirety of Utsuro no Hako. I can't believe how well you somehow translated and edited it in the short time that you did. It was an amazing story. Rock on.

~Blaster~

== any news ==

is there any news when vol. 5 will be come out?
:Nothing known yet. Though it's not coming before May, that's for sure. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 15:47, 14 February 2011 (UTC)

== heve one ==

hey, do u have your own blog or facebook? :)
:Nope. Though, technically, I do have a facebook account and a website, but I use neither of them. ;D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:26, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

== Tabi ni Deyou ==

I love the story, and I have time during my school break, so I'm doing some major edits offline (I'm rewriting paragraphs and such to make it read much more smoothly, but with the same content and stuff.) so after I finish the first chapter, where should I put it so you can check my changes for accuracy? It's in LaTeX for now, so I can make a PDF anytime, but when I finish editing the chapter I'll make a version with wiki markup instead. [[User:CarVac|CarVac]] 00:46, 15 March 2011 (EDT)
:Oh, that's great. :D For checks you can send it to me via mail (umikarayattekita[a.t]yahoo.co.jp) or you could just update the wiki page directly (shouldn't be problematic if there are some minor inaccuracies). Another alternative would be using my private wiki where I translate on. ;) Whatever suits you best~ [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 01:51, 15 March 2011 (EDT)

== amazing thank you ==

hey ive just got to say that this book was an amazing read and a great way to spend my last week
and i had a question i know this was asked in February but i was wondering if there was any news of a 5th volume yet?
:Glad you liked it. There's no news of a 5th volume yet, but of a [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=3161&start=315#p82619 new series by him]. We don't know what happened to Hakomari yet, but we'll probably find out in the "Afterword" of that new novel. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:32, 8 June 2011 (UCT)

== I think there's some overlap in taste here... ==

I've been reading light novels here for a while...since vol 4 of Haruhi was halfway done. Some I like, some I don't. It's a matter of taste, like anything else. I've read both the Utsuru no Hako series and Gekkou and they're both at the top of a short list of favorites. Of the two, I think I prefer vol 1 of Hako slightly just because it scratches my science fiction itch along with my psychological horror itch. Great stuff. My Japanese isn't good enough to translate, but I'm happy to edit these (as I did with all of Gekkou) because they're so different/interesting and not at all like the generic LN offering here. I don't know how you're finding the good stuff that nobody else has even heard of, but keep up the good work! [[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] 20:22, 12 July 2011 (UCT)
:嬉しいことを言うね。 Very delighted to see that you enjoyed them as much as I did. I'm pretty much just randomly picking novels that look/sound interesting, but it seems like I've been quite lucky so far. ;) Anyway, thanks for your great edits! I've looked through all of them and learned quite a few new things. --[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 22:39, 12 July 2011 (UCT)

== Gekkou Vietnamese Translation ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I'm Nanaya from [http://vnsharing.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=268 vnsharing]. Would you mind if I translate Gekkou into Vietnamese based on your translation? Thank you for such a great novel and look forward to your reply. --[[User:Nanaya|Nanaya]] 20:36, 25 September 2011 (CDT)

:Hey Nanaya. Sure, feel free to give Gekkou a kick-ass Vietnamese translation! :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:39, 26 September 2011 (CDT)

== Gekkou ~ Russian translation ==

Hello, EusthEnoptEron. Thanks for translation of Gekkou and of course HakoMari. Well, I and some more people are currently translating Gekkou using your translation as base. So, I thought, we need your permission for this even if we aren't going to post it here.

Best regards,
[[User:Rock96|Rock96]]
:Same as above -- I'd love to see Gekkou translated in Russian. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:39, 26 September 2011 (CDT)

== Edited sugar dark ==

Edited the first chapter lightly, under the impression that you did the translation?
Hope you like it. Refrained from large changes to the flow, please advice further actions.

--[[User:Novium|Novium]] 23:23, 13 December 2011 (CST)

== Thank you Eusth for all your work. ==

I enjoyed Zero no Maria and Gekkou a lot! Tabi no Deyou was also quite good. I like how you pick up interesting works! Do you have plans on starting up a new project? I'd love to read anything you find interesting!

== tsukumodo antique shop ==

when i read the story synopsis, i thought it was interesting and had my attention. then, i scrolled down and looked at list of translators. i was like "it's expected". lol

--[[User:Shera|Shera]] 09:59, 16 February 2012 (CST)
:Shera, I like your taste. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 05:16, 18 February 2012 (CST)

btw, how is "Vision" (of the main character) written in Japanese?
:ヴィジョン

Miki and I had both been in an all-girls middle school. Therefore, there had only been girls that could be target of her admiration. But with graduating to a mixed middle school, she regained what is called a "healthy mind".
is the first sentence meant "elementary school"?
: Yeah, you're right. orz [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 06:44, 14 April 2012 (CDT)

== Dantalian no Shoko ==

I wonder if you could continue translating the Dantalian LNs because I think quite a few people want to read it further and can't read moon (yet).

If you are unable to due to time or any other reason could you make some good summaries at least? That would be appreciated too.
:Dantalian no Shoka is a great LN, but it lacks a main story that connects everything, which bothers me a little. I'll think about making a few summaries, but I guess you'll also be able to read some of the stories in the manga (though I have no idea how actively this one is translated). :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:26, 29 April 2012 (CDT)

Hm I'll look around for the manga and keep an eye out for your summaries if you decide to do them, thanks.

==Antique shop Edits==

hi, i editted 2/3 of chapter 1. i had some questions, so i put them in ch.1 discussion page. can you please take a look?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 02:39, 30 April 2012 (CDT)
------------------------------------
thanks. i added some more questions in the discussion page...

and i just had an epiphany about the sentence where the bonds were cut. how about "severed"? imho sounds cool))

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 06:05, 30 April 2012 (CDT)
-----------------------------
done with chapter 1. questions in discussion as before...
----------------------------------
i'll get to editting chapter 2 as soon as i finish reading it....today, later. RL stuff and whatnot.PS. thanks for finishing the chapter))--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 09:39, 4 May 2012 (CDT)
----------------------------------------
edited a bit of chapter 2. questions in the discussion page...--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 08:28, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
----------------------------------------
btw, how long are the remaining two chapters?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 10:11, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
: Chapter 3: 85, Chapter 4: 53 [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:21, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
*thanks. man, that's gonna be a long wait...--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 10:24, 6 May 2012 (CDT)

== Interesting novels ! ==

Really appreciate u for introducing all these novels ! really perked up my interest !
I will be glad if i can be any help in translation since i can read jap
: Glad to hear that I met your taste. :D Any help with translating / editing would be most appreciated if you're confident in your skills. In concrete terms, Tsukumodo (the remaining novels), Gekkou (a short story) or Dantalian (although stalled) do still have stuff left to do. Though, if you haven't read that many light novels yet, I recommend staying a reader for a little longer, since that's a lot more fun than translating. ;] [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 15:55, 2 July 2012 (CDT)

== Thanks for translating ==
Thanks for taking the time to translate the novels. I would really like to thank you in particular for translating Maria, I'm looking every week for updates to the 5th volume!

== How to best express my appreciation for your awesome efforts! ==
You're responsible for translating most of my favorites - Utsuro no Hako,
Gekkou, Our Journey to the End of the Ceasing World - to name just a few. I just started (maybe overenthusiastically, orz) tackling edits to Tsukumodo Antique Shop in thanks, but was wondering what your priorities are for editor efforts: for instance, if you feel Gekkou is complete already, so we shouldn't spend time there; otoh, if you want Utsuro no Hako to be uber-polished, etc etc

Anyway, much thanks (and sorry if my edits are too intrusive)...I haven't done a lot yet, but figured I should check in early rather than be a pain in the butt...

[[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 08:38, 12 July 2012 (EDT)
: First of all, thanks a bunch for the edits you made so far. :D Made my day. And don't worry about being too intrusive: if it sound better/more correct/more natural, then it's a good edit, and it will help me pick up new words, figures of speech and whatnot, since I try to check every edit. In fact, for me the most nerve-racking thing while translating is being unable to find a good-sounding and natural wording, so I'm always delighted if someone makes the stuff flow better.

:As for priorities: Hopefully sometime during the next week I'm going to start working on Hakomari 5, which will have top priority. Translation and editing will take place on my private wiki because I want the translation to be as good as possible. If you want to join (in fact, anyone who wants to join) just drop me a message in the forums or at umikarayattekita{AT}yahoo.co.jp and you'll get '''instant access''' (not wanting to sound like a pr0n site).
:* Apart from Hakomari, I'd like to focus mainly on Tsukumodo, since there's still a whack-load of work to be done there (mostly translation-wise).
:* Gekkou: Considered completed. I'm satisfied with its editing state (pretty much the only project I am)
:* Tabi ni Deyou: Don't plan on putting much more work into it. Was just a little one-man side-project.
:* Hakomari <5: I've pretty much given up on getting them into shape. :D yyr has gone through them and erased a lot of errors though.
: [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:06, 12 July 2012 (CDT)

Eh, no worries - all I can do is edit, so I decided to edit... :) Just glad I'm not stepping on your toes... sent you a PM re: Hakomari 5 access as well. Thanks again!
[[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 13:18, 12 July 2012 (CDT)
Thanks for the access - until Hakomari 5 goes up on the private wiki, I'm mostly working on Tsukumodo on baka-tsuki (since your private wiki copy of Tsukumodo seems to be an older version). Keep up your excellent work! [[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 21:25, 12 July 2012 (CDT)

EEE, dropped you a message on the forums.--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:16, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

Thanks! Damn, I need a personal wiki too))--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:35, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

== Thank You So Much! ==

I really mean it. I sure took my time to come here and express my gratitude. Anyway, i must say it. All the works you translated had some significance for me. All of them. Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria made me like reading in the first place, it was something like two years ago (that's why I've said that I took too long of a time to came here and express my gratitude). Gekkou made me laugh for days, damn, I'm still laughing right now even tough it's not a story I'm supposed to laugh about. Anyway, Tabi ni Deyou was beautiful. I can't really say about Dantalian since I've still didn't read the novel, but I like the story from the anime and manga. And now I'm reading Tsukumodo Antique Shop. I've just ended the first volume and really, it was great. Well enough blabbering, I'm here to give you my thanks but also to cheer you on Tsukumodo, it's a great novel and I'd really like to read it to end. I hope that some of my gratitude reached you since I would have never known any of these novels if not for your hard work. While I'm at it I would like to ask you permission to translate Utsuro and Tsukumodo into Brazillian Portuguese. Well, technically I'm already translating Utsuro for about some time. You can check it [http://lightnovelproject.blogspot.com.br/ here] in the label "Projetos" presently the links are suspended for a new revision on the chapters but you can still see the project page if you want. Thanks for taking your time to read this, and again, thank you very much for your hard work!
:Wow, I'm really delighted that you enjoyed them so much. :D After all, I also love them all myself. Also, feel free to use my translations, and just ask if you have trouble understanding something. --[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:52, 31 August 2012 (CDT)

== Gekkou, SS2 ==

Hi,

I read and write Chinese fluently. I would definitely be willing to translate Gekkou for you.

[User:paulywolly|paulywolly]

== Appreciation and a question ==

First of all, I want to thank you for your hard work on translating Gekkou and Tsukumodo Antique Shop!
I loved both of them!

I would like to know if you are going to continue translating Tsukumodo Antique Shop, as I noticed you are not registered to be working on its translation. I would be glad to help with editing Tsukumodo Antique Shop, if you decide to continue working on it.

Cheers,
--[[User:LoliDragon|loliDragon]]
:Glad you enjoyed your read. :D
:As for Tsukumodo: Yes, I'm still planning on completing it, although it's hard to gather enough motivation as the series is not exactly popular (no anime, etc). Every help is greatly appreciated, since knowing that my grammatical train wrecks are being taken care of would be a great weight off my shoulders. ;) Also, don't worry about being too aggressive should you decide to do some edits; I don't know about other translators, but I'm ''very'' open-minded in this respect. By the way, I've actually already started working on the next chapter on my personal wiki -- I'm probably going to release by chapter from now on. -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:27, 6 December 2012 (CST)

::Great! Consider yourself owning an editor ^^ Chapter by chapter is a lot better, since it is rather hard to go through an entire vol in one go. Anyhow, contact me when you have a chapter done and I will do the editing in a day or two. -[[User:LoliDragon|loliDragon]] 6 December 2012, at 10:27.

well i know this is a bit to tad late but i just want to thank you for translating Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria... it a nice novel. and since it in a question topic i want to ask if you reconsider translating Tasogare-iro no Uta Tsukai as a side project. i know this is stepping on the line but i just want to ask -[[User:Anon10203|Anon10203]] 28 December 2012, at 10:27.
:Heyho~, glad you liked Hakomari. As for Tasogare-iro; unfortunately, although it's on my list, I haven't gotten around to reading the series, and I generally don't translate stuff I haven't read and come to love. Besides, I don't think I have enough motivation to pick up a new project. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:26, 28 December 2012 (CST)
I also have a suggestion if you feel like you're running out of interesting things to translate... -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 13:53, 28 December 2012 (CST)
: I may have no plans of picking up a new series, but I'm curious -- what LN do you have in mind? [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:26, 28 December 2012 (CST)
This: [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=5477 Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita]. It has the 'fading world' quality of [[Tabi ni Deyou, Horobiyuku Sekai no Hate Made]] along with a more pointed version of the social commentary snark of [[Gekkou]]. It's more farcical than your usual choices, but it's definitely as intellectual as anything else you've done, and it recently had a well-done anime. But nobody seems to want to pick it up as a translation project either here or commercially. Not every translator could manage it (there's some slang, some puns (some translingual puns)), but I think you could.-[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 15:55, 28 December 2012 (CST)
: Aah, Jintai, yes, I've read the first novel and recently watched the anime. I like it. And funnily enough, I've already considered helping out the guy who has started translating it over there at TLWiki. So chances aren't zero. In the meanwhile, I'm looking forward to the AURA movie -- Romeo's approach to the Chuunibyou phenomenon. ;) -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:04, 28 December 2012 (CST)
I hadn't bothered to look at Romeo's CV before now. A majority of his work is visual novels. Interestingly I've recently played through Cross Channel, which is his most famous vnovel. CC has some clever elements but didn't wow me. Now that I know that the same guy wrote both, I can see the similarities in the narrator's internal commentary and the underlying theme of people who are broken in interesting ways interacting. I'll be waiting for the AURA movie as well - his narrative voice seems better suited to books and serial formats. The Chuunibyou anime that came out this year seems to have a very similar plot to AURA. I'm curious to see his treatment of the idea. In any event, consider doing Jintai - the TLWiki guy did one chapter two years ago. I have the feeling that it's your project if you want it. -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 10:48, 29 December 2012 (CST)
:Yes, coordinating with the other translator should be the smallest issue, since I know him. In fact, he's one of the few citizens of our cozy little Hakomari IRC channel. Anyway, first I'll have to deal with Hakomari and perhaps Tsukumodo. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:31, 29 December 2012 (CST)
I'm torn. I like Tsukumodo (and Hakomari, but then a lot of people seem to like that), and would like to see them get attention too. Oh well. If you want something different to do, there's an option. -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 16:29, 29 December 2012 (CST)

Thanks for the heads-up on Rakuin no Monshou. You're right about the space voyage. If you find more inconsistincies in the future, please let me know. I appreciate it! --[[User:Dohma|Dohma]] ([[User talk:Dohma|talk]]) 14:31, 26 January 2013 (CST)

== Utsuro no Hako Volume 6 ==

First of all I would like to thank you profoundly for your work and in letting all us westerners enjoy amazing japanese books like this.

I was wondering when we can expect a translation for volume 6?
: Heyho, no problem. ;) As for v6: I can't name you a date, but translation is ~75% done. -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:44, 3 February 2013 (CST)

Are you waiting to it is fully translated before uploading it?
: It is fully translated, but still needs some editing before I can upload it. Should be done sometime in February, though. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:58, 10 February 2013 (CST)

Out of curiosity, is Volume 6 the final book?
: No, v7 will be the last one. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 02:39, 11 February 2013 (CST)

I love you. This series is consistently mind-blowing and I can't wait for the finale. Your relentless efforts in translation are invaluable. I love you. [[User:LoliSauce|LoliSauce]] ([[User talk:LoliSauce|talk]]) 02:26, 20 February 2013 (CST)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! KITAAAAAA!!! Thank you! By the way, has Eiji Mikage stated when the final Volume 7 is coming out?
:Nope, we only know that the first volume of his new series is coming out in April. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 01:05, 25 February 2013 (CST)

For your godly translation speed and insane amount of work (your translations are more and more natural sounding every time), I just wanted to thank you again. Man, the cliffhanger here was just too much as usual. I always read utsuro straight through until it's done, so I know I really love it, so I must really love your translations, so great work and thanks again!

~Blaster

Band sechs war, wie die anderen auch, super übersetzt! Vielen Dank für die super Arbeit [[User:BlackP|BlackP]] ([[User talk:BlackP|talk]]) 15:01, 3 March 2013 (CST)

Drop by to say thanks for your hard work. This is a great series, thanks! Look forward to read the translation of volume 7! --[[User:Kuno|Kuno]] - [[User talk:Kuno|Talk]] 11:22, 24 May 2013 (CDT)

== Gekkou Vietnamese Translation ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I'm Thefirst244 from sonako wiki, I want to redraw your picture 006 of illu in Gekkou light novel. Can you give me the font you use to write on it?

Thanks so much!
--[[User:Miya|Thefirst244]]
: Heyho. I only used standard fonts -- Impact for the names and Candara for the rest. The cleaned picture itself is by courtesy of the Spanish translators, you can find it [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zkq3o7rxiq4q4c8 here] if needed. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:42, 16 March 2013 (CDT)

:: The link is dead ;.; Can someone reupload it? Thanks in advance!
::[[User:Hunk|Hunk]] (12:19, 06 April 2013)
::: Updated link. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 05:58, 6 April 2013 (CDT)
:::: Perfect, thanks! [[User:Hunk|Hunk]] (13:31 CET, 06 April 2013)

: Thank you very much!

:--[[User:Miya|Thefirst244]]

== The F-Ranked Tyrant - Return of a Fallen Genius ==

hi man...

I was wondering, do you think get the new novel by Eiji mikage? I would like to read it, and it is fascinated with HakoMari...

Greetings! Only one question was.
: Heyho, cool that you enjoyed Hakomari. :D At this point, I have no plans of translating Mikage's new series, since I don't have enough energy to pick up any new projects and I want to finish Hakomari/Tsukumodo first. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:14, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

::Hi, thanks for your quick response... No problem, in fact I am very grateful that thanks to you, I know this work, HakoMari... Well I wish you luck in everything you do...

Greetings!
</div>
</div>

== Gekkou Short Story: Stubborn will of the Crescent Moon ==

Yo EEE(Hope you don't mind the abbre.),
I ran into a Chinese version of the Gekkou Short Story: "Stubborn will of the Crescent Moon" a few days back and, since I can read Chinese, would like to continue with the translation to English. I need an editor to vet through my version though, and my command of the language is not really outstanding as it is. Add thereto my schedule for this month is pretty tight too. Anyway, if anyone is interested in continuing with this project, please contact me via my alt email: goink0goink@gmail.com.

Thanks,
pervy

== Question about Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi! I just registered after getting to volume 3 of this light novel series. Until the revelations in chapter 1, vol. 3, I had been working under the assumption that all the bits you underlined had a special meaning to them. My working theory was that they were some sort of red truth like in Umineko. That was completely smashed when I several lies showed up in the chapter that I don't seem possible to be tricks of some sort. I tried doing some google searches but couldn't find any references to all the underlining you have done for the series.

So I was wondering if you could please explain the meaning of underlined phrases. Thanks.

--April 22, 2015-- TomaO2
: To be honest, I don't know whether or not Mikage had something special in mind when using underlines (or dots in the case of the original Japanese text). Most likely they're just supposed to emphasize certain passages, so I wouldn't read too much into them. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 11:36, 22 April 2015 (CDT)

:: I'm going to have to apologize. I stopped reading right after Daiya revealed himself as the owner of the box after game three, which I assumed meant that the underlined text from the earlier game was a blatant lie. I've gotten further now and it was, in fact, the truth and the actual box master of the game of idleness has been revealed. I suppose if I had spelled out exactly what I thought was the lie earlier, you could have corrected me at the time but I didn't want to write down spoilers at the time.

::Therefore, I'm going back to my belief that everything underlined is a truth of some sort. Either because the other person believes (even if he's wrong) or, if Kazuki thinks it to be true, then a literal truth of the story. That's my working theory of how underlined text works. Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.

::--April 23, 2015 TomaO2

== Premission for Italian translations for Gekkou and Tsukumodo Antique Shop ==

Hy, I would like to translate Tsukumodo Antique Shop and Gekkou's novel in Italian in my blog and post also my tranlations on Baka-Tsuki but I'm not accustomed with baka tsuki, so my I ask you if you help me to make italian tranlation page and put my tranlation here? You may also send me an email: kirishima_zen@yahoo.it.
For Gekkou I'm going to start soon the tranlation.
Here is my first translation [http://otakuyaoi.forumfree.it/?t=70730632 Tsukumodo Antique Shop - Prologo Volume 1].
I'v just requested permission [[Help_talk:Administration_Contact_Page#Request_for_externa_contributor_.28ETL.29_for_Italian_translations_few_novels|here]]
Thank you very much for your work^^
--[[User:Kirishima Zen|Kirishima Zen]] ([[User talk:Kirishima Zen|talk]]) 21:54, 4 May 2015 (CDT)
:Sorry to keep you waiting! Feel free to use my translations for your own translation. I created a page for your Tsukumodo project [[Tsukumodo_Antique_Shop_(Italian)|here]]. Just fill in your translations. If you're unsure, try comparing with the English sources, ask in the Alternative Languages forums or ask the staff or me. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:53, 12 May 2015 (CDT)

--[[User:Kirishima Zen|Kirishima Zen]] ([[User talk:Kirishima Zen|talk]]) 03:40, 13 May 2015 (CDT)Thank you very Much, the administrator just told me that there aren't italian so eventually I will ask to you^^ Now I'm translating cap 1 and then I'll posto Prologue and Cap 1.

--[[User:Kirishima Zen|Kirishima Zen]] ([[User talk:Kirishima Zen|talk]]) 13:47, 22 May 2015 (CDT)Hy, I Tranlated the plot on the page you've created. For the registration page for traslator you link Durarara Italian translation so I don't know where I can register. Can you please correct the registration page for tranlator?
The First Cap Vol 1 in Italian is yet tranlated [http://otakuyaoi.forumfree.it/?t=70827536 Tsukumodo Antique Shop Vol 1 Cap 1]

ː Corrected it. Also, great work on the first chapterǃ I copied the translation to the wiki this time -- to add them on your own, just click on the respective red link (maybe translate the link to Italian beforehand) and copy & paste the translation. You may also want to replace the "CAMBIO SCENA" with the symbols I've put and add the images with wiki tags. Just take a look at how I did it (or even better, use the original translation as a template). Maybe also update the "Aggiornamenti" section. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 07:40, 24 May 2015 (CDT)

== Hakomari ==

Great work man!
I love this novel, thank you for doing this. I already have book 7, I just need your translation hehe. Can´t wait, but take your time, I just wanted to thank you.

== Volume 7 Editing ==

If you ever need somebody to help out, I'm game for editing. I have some experience as an author, so I can (hopefully) assist you with any English issues you may have. Great job thus far--you've been really working on that translation, it seems. - ZRonin
:That's great to hear! If you have some time to spare and could go through my stuff to rephrase the shoe-horned translations to more natural English, drop by at #UtsuroNoHako (irc.rizon.net) or contact me at umikarayattekita@yahoo.co.jp. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:29, 29 June 2015 (UTC)

So... The translations won't be up until they are edited, am I wrong? Thanks for your work.--[[User:Kemm|Kemm]] ([[User talk:Kemm|talk]])
: Yup. For now I can just say that I plan on releasing them before August. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 11:54, 30 June 2015 (UTC)

== Permission for "Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria" (Turkish) ==

Hey Eusth, I really loved your translation of the novel, in fact it's currently my favorite light novel series, so much so that I'd love to share it in my own language on baka-tsuki, if you'd allow it. Thanks for all the hard work!

: Hey there, LoyalBlue. That's great to hear! Feel free to use my translations and don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions regarding the translation. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 08:47, 8 July 2015 (UTC)

::Hello again Senpai! (Yeah that's kinda awkward, I'm sorry) I wanted to ask you something about the book. I tried looking for references but couldn't find any: the section in the 27,754th time - where Hoshino is kneeling in front of Maria and starts talking in a "polite manner." Is that a reference to a classic novel or something? Maybe I'm getting it confused with Wuthering Heights and Heathcliffe or something. Just wanted to make sure so as to better explain the situation. Thanks! --[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 19:38, 23 July 2015 (UTC)
::: Hey there. Actually, I believe he's just talking in a theatric manner. At least, I didn't find anything it could refer to (neither did I find out what "Hathaway" refers to).
::: Here's the original text if you want to do some research of your own:
::: 「お迎えに上がりましたマリア姫。すべてを裏切り、すべてを敵に回し、ただあなた一人を護ると誓ったハサウェイでございます」
::: 「ずいぶん待たせたじゃないか、愛しのハサウェイ。窓際でお前を待つだけが取り柄の、スプーンより重いものを持ったことのない脆弱な私をよくもまあ待たせてくれたな。まさか２７７５３回もの間、たった一人で戦場へ放り出されるなんて思ってもいなかったぞ」
::: Also note that we might have gone a little overboard with the Elizabethan English. There's no need to make it sound *that* old-ish.
::: [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 23:40, 23 July 2015 (UTC)
:::: Ding-dong the nuisance is back. (^_^") I'm sorry I've been mulling this over for the last 3 hours along with another translator and we got nowhere, in a very slow manner (almost like our protagonists!).
: This part at the end of 27,754 (2) has got me really stumped. "The ground becomes unstable and tastes sugary for some reason—not on the tongue, but on the skin." In context it kinda makes sense - I imagine them slowly falling into an abyss of pure white while feeling the remains of the environment on their skin - I suppose. It's a bit confusing, could I request another explanation?--[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 14:16, 1 August 2015 (UTC)
:: Seems to me like "a white wave" wipes away the world and leaves everything white. The ground then turns all wobbly/soft like some sweet (= unstable. This analogy was lost in translation) but the sweetness reaches him through his skin / pores. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 09:49, 2 August 2015 (UTC)
:Ohaio! Or not.. Ok.. I feel like I'm pestering you too much. Please tell me if that is indeed the case, I love you too much to want to be hated by you. *eek*
Anyways, next question is about this part in page 85 of the 2nd volume: "but her very facility is what I’m worried about if she... were to betray me." - what did you mean by facility? I've been gnawing it over and can't make heads or tails of it. Mental facilities? Sorry again! --[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 09:23, 19 August 2015 (UTC)
:: Don't worry about it, the English translation can also benefit from finding weak spots. :D "Facility" in this case refers to "skill", meaning that he fears her exceptional skills if she were to turn against him. In some cases, using the history to look up an older translation helps (in this case: "She had easily thought of effective plans as anticipated, but exactly because of that I'd be afraid if she... betrayed me.") [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:49, 19 August 2015 (UTC)
::Osashiburi! Genki Eusth-san? Well I'm out of Japanese now T-T - Anyways, I wanted to ask you how I could change the text in the illustrations? Otherwise they don't really get read despite the fact that I actually went to the effort of translating them all.. Any programs or such you can direct me to?--[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 14:33, 4 September 2015 (UTC)
::: I personally used Photoshop, but you could also try Gimp, Krita, Paint.NET, etc. I can send you the cleaned pictures so you only have to change the text. Do you have a forum account where I can send them to? [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:16, 5 September 2015 (UTC)
::::Uhh, yeah I have an account on the forums by the name of megagmat, I'd greatly appreciate it if you sent me the cleans. If not I have links to other forums on my discussion page. Thanks Eusth, you da best. Uhh, or should I just add an email or something?..--[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 11:01, 5 September 2015 (UTC)

==Thanks!!==

Just wanted to drop a small message to thank you for putting so much time and effort into the HakoMari translation.
If it weren't for you, I don't think I would have got the chance to ever experience this masterpiece. Its definitely the best light novel I've read to date.
So, once again, thank you so much and I wish you the best of luck for all your future endeavors!!!
[[User:Satoshi Rentaro|Satoshi Rentaro]] ([[User talk:Satoshi Rentaro|talk]]) 15:06, 29 July 2015 (UTC)

I wanted to drop a big thank you for having translating HakoMari so far. I started reading it this year and the trip while reading it was amazing. Thanks a lot for allowing myself to discover such a masterpiece ! [[User:Djidji|Djidji]] ([[User talk:Djidji|talk]]) 18:53, 25 December 2015 (UTC)

== Permission for a Turkish translation of Tabi ni Deyou, Horibiyuku Sekai no Hate Made. ==

Hello. Thank you for your translations, I have read Gekkou and Tabi ni Deyou, and enjoyed both thoroughly. I must say, your translations feel like the work of a true professional, as I can't help but to feel envy towards your well built sentences.

Would you mind if I used your English translation of "Tabi ni Deyou, Horibiyuku Sekai no Hate Made" to TL it to Turkish? I will share the novel on this site, as well as on my blog and make PDF / EPUB files for download, and include your nickname next to mine on the files for providing the source material.

During the translations, can I come here and ask about stuff if there is something to be discussed taking the Japanese (which you know) into account? Also, can you tell me what the Japanese title literally means in English? Maybe if the meaning is somehow different I will have to know what "旅に出よう、滅びゆく世界の果てまで。" means for making the Turkish title more proper. --[[User:Flügel|Flügel]] ([[User talk:Flügel|talk]]) 23:00, 16 January 2016 (UTC)
: Hey there -- thanks for the praise!
: Regarding your request: Sure, feel free to use my translations and good luck with your project! Just ask me when you need help with something. The translation might be a little "messy" here and there.
: The literal translation of the title is: "Let's go on a journey -- to the end of the dying/collapsing world." [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 23:14, 16 January 2016 (UTC)
:: Hello, it's me. On the 39th page of the PDF file, there was something that bothered me. "However, the served barley tea was made with fresh spring
:: water and so chilly that the surface of their cups fogged." "and" is kind of confusing there. Was it used with the meaning of "which was", or was it the weather that caused cups to get foggy? [[User:Flügel|Flügel]] ([[User talk:Flügel|talk]]) 15:38, 24 January 2016 (UTC)
: You can read it as "and thus so chilly..." or as "and so chilly, in fact, that..." but "which was" works as well, I guess. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:10, 24 January 2016 (UTC)

== Dantalian no Shoka ==

Hello, I saw that Dantalian no Shoka has been crossed out from your projects, but seeing as you are still listed as project manager, I'll ask anyway.

I'd like to have a bout at translating Dantalian no Shoka and start out with completing volume 2. The chapters in question have already been registered by other translators though, but this project has not seen an update in over a year. Would it be alright to just claim them? [[User:GhstWrtr|GhstWrtr]] ([[User talk:GhstWrtr|talk]]) 04:20, 6 June 2017 (CEST)

: Hey there! The users in question have not been active in the last two years, so I'd say it's safe to claim the chapters if you want. Thanks for contributing! [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 20:36, 7 June 2017 (CEST)

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu

2017-01-06T17:57:58Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* 2 */

==Chapter 4: Reina Kamisu==

===1===

I have not seen myself in the mirror in years.

Instead of me, the mirror of my dressing table is showing something similar to me. Needless to say, this is not some mechanism that has been built into my antique dressing table, and yet my reflection is missing from the mirror I am looking at right now. The thing that appears from time to time like a visual trick is subdivided in 33 parts which makes it impossible to examine it in its entirety.

The foreign reflection resembling me smiles at me.

"It is futile to loathe me!" the girl within the mirror says with an irritatingly beautiful smile. Again: this is not me but something that visually resembles me. "For I have already been associated with you."

Why did it come to this? She has always been around indeed, but while she hovered over me like a shadow, she did not use to cling to me.

"You seem thoroughly fed up. Do you not think it is time to stop ignoring me and converse with me?" she suggests.

Spare me. Conversing with you means admitting your existence, and admitting you just once means giving in to you. I will not make the mistake of concerning myself with a delusion that has become to real, that can even be explained.

I will not admit the delusion that is you nor will I accept you.

Even if, as a matter of fact, I do not appear in the mirror.

"I may not be able to exist without you, but unlike you, I know why I came to be!"

Do I want to know? There is no need. It is easy enough to deduce the answer, as I already have.

Deduced the answer?

Aah, no, that is not right. I do not know the reason for your existence, because you do not exist to begin with.

I am a rational person who does not suffer from delusions.

"Yes, you do know—"

I do not. I do not hear anything.

"That I exist—"

I do not. I do not know anything.

"After all—

"—When people look at you they see me."

===2===

I find myself in the second music room, playing a song from a movie that came on TV the other day on the piano. The students that have gathered around me let out gasps of joy.

How did I wind up exhibiting my piano skills in an open place like this, anyway?

Obviously because I was asked to.

My classmates wanted to hear me playing the piano, so I started to perform here in the second music room, showcasing the fruits of practicing at home. I originally used the practice room, but my performance became popular among the students to the point that even the teachers got wind of it and, for some reason, suggested to use this room.

Thanks to them, I am now forced to perform day in, day out. Even though I do not plan to become a pianist.

With smooth motions I move from one piano key to the next. Because I have taken lessons since I was a child, playing the piano now feels approximately as natural as writing.

Of course, I did not take lessons because I wanted to.

The music reaches my ear.

It sounds just as boring as always.

Why do they all look so captivated as if I were performing like a first class pianist when I play so poorly? There is no emotion in my music, just raw, mechanical skill. They cannot be moved by something like this. I feel irritated, as if I was watching an apathetic conductor.

After I finish my playing, the audience surrounding the piano give me their applause, some of them even with tears in their eyes. Stop that! This was just a crude performance by a student like you! Without showing a sign of my true thoughts, however, I smile at them and thank them.

"I love that movie!" says Kawai-san, who became president of the student council after me. Of course you do. It was your request, after all.

"...You do?" I smile, again without showing my true thoughts.

"Your performance is so touching, Reina-san."

"Yes, indeed. I wonder why your music turns out so different."

"You are magnificent!"

"Thank you," I say and feel the same thing as always: a one-way mirror is extending around me.

A one-way mirror. A curious mirror that lets me see everything that happens on the other side but does not let them see me.

The girls on the other side are cheerfully chatting with the mirror in front of them, and even though I do not show any reaction whatsoever, they are delighted by the reaction of whatever they see in the mirror. Girls, come to your senses! Do you not see that you are talking with a mirror? What is the point in reacting to your own reactions?

But they feign ignorance and enjoy the conversation.

Everyone except for me, who is standing inside the one-way mirror.

With an unvoiced sigh, I start playing the piano and the girls around me fall silent. I prefer them to just hold their tongues rather than get engrossed in a conversation that I cannot take part in.

As I watch my audience, who think my performance were something special, I ponder. At the end of the day, nobody is interested in me.

Nobody wants me to talk. All they want me to do is nod to them and approve of them. I am not permitted an own will.

I wear a specialized, tailor-made mask for every single one of them, and they love that.

Therefore, I cannot talk about myself.

And yet—even though I have not told them a single thing about me—they act as though they were in an intimate relationship with me.

—Tell me, what do you see in me?

It was a terrible mistake to enroll at the Junseiwa school. I feel that negative phenomenons like my fake reflection or the one-way mirror have been aggravating and getting more frequent ever since I came here.

Hm? Why did I come to this school, anyway?

This is easy to answer. Because my mother wanted it.

In the end, my own will is not to be found anywhere. None of my actions reflect my will. I only move by being pulled by someone.

I focus on playing the piano and shake off my stray thoughts.

As always, the melody sounds empty.

I finish my performance and receive a grand applause.

After being forced to play for more than a full hour, I walked home together with a few students that live in the same direction. I commute to school from home. At the Junseiwa School students are obliged to live in the dormitory if possible, but because of some serious trouble during my time in the middle school section (it should not be difficult to imagine this when considering my current situation), I was allowed to live at home when I graduated to the high school section.

However, because I had been separated from my family for three years (except for holidays, of course) the distance between us had become insurmountable. My position in our family had always been unstable, but now they completely and permanently forgot how to treat me as part of it.

They started to treat me like I were fragile.

Having sensed that, I had no other choice but to take the same attitude toward them as to my fellow students, which entailed tailoring masks and looking at my family through a one-way mirror. Only Sakairi-san, our housekeeper, did not treat me like something fragile, but it was still far from normal.

There is no haven for me anymore.

I opened the door, greeted my family, had a mostly wordless dinner and took a bad.

From the three bathrooms we have, I went to the middle-sized one, added in some bath oil and soak in the bath. Our largest bathroom is big enough to accommodate us and our housekeepers and still have space for more, but it is barely ever used by anyone. The larger the bathtub, the longer it takes to fill it with warm water, and the faster it cools down, and the more gas it takes. It is a terribly unpractical bathroom, and with it losing its novelty, its bathtub has deteriorated to a merely big hole. There are many of these useless things in this house. Apparently, the larger a house gets, the more useless things accumulate. Even though maintenance gets costlier.

While showering myself off, I shift my thinking to my future.

What might become of me after high school? Well, I will certainly enroll at a first-class university. But after that?

I would make myself unpopular if I said this aloud, but there are not many things that I cannot become. It might be out of reach for me to become a specialist in something that requires training from an early stage on, like a competitive sportsman, but I am confident that I would be admitted by any university and I am just as confident that I would be hired by any company. I might even be able to make my way into the show business and become an actress or a singer, something that everyone dreams of but gives up on.

My mask can be customized to deliver the best performance in any job, and from experience I know that it performs outstandingly well.

However, I think. What do I want to become?

This may seem like a problem that everyone has, but my question is of a different nature. I believe most people know that they would like to become, but are either too embarrassed to talk about it, have set their goal too high, or are frankly not that bent on it.

I, on the other hand, can think of absolutely nothing that I would want to become. Not in the slightest. All I ever do is standing still in a white realm without a horizon, waiting idly for something to arrive because there is nowhere to go, and simply reacting to whatever is happening before my eyes.

Yes, even though I have the sense to do anything, I cannot become anything.

Powerless. Meaningless. Worthless. Yes, I do not have anything.

Maybe I should just die, then?

Die? Why?

I do not know, which is why I will probably not die.

Still gloomy, I leave the bathroom and go to our video room to watch a DVD. I have not decided on a certain DVD, but because my father has the habit of buying several DVDs every month despite not watching them, there are plenty of movies that I have not seen yet.

By the way, I do not study much when I am at home. Since the speed of teaching is adjusted according to the average of the class, it tends to be slow for me despite the reputation of the Junseiwa School. I repeat old knowledge and prepare for the new things in the spare time during my classes.

Efficient? Certainly. But I do not know for what sake.

When I enter the video room, I find that I am not alone.

"Ryoji-san."

I call his name and he turns around to me.

"Oh, it's you?" he says briefly and looks away.

I have changed into my pajamas. I am not concealing my body with a single bath towel. And yet, Ryoji-san averted his eyes in a way that I consider is unnatural for family, at least in my definition of the word "family."

But he has always been like that.

Ryoji-san is always averting his eyes from me. He only sees the parts of me that he likes to see.

When I wear my pajamas, I remind him that we are family, which is why he does not like to see me like this. He has shown signs of feeling attracted to me in a non-family manner and thus seems to have difficulty getting along with the other sex. Is he interested in me as a love interest? While I do not believe that is as simple as that, it might be something close to it. Ryoji-san is suffering from an inferiority complex that can be attributed to overestimating me by looking at me through rose-colored glasses of admiration. Most likely, he does not know the true shape of his feelings for me himself, so I do not know anything else, either.

"Want to watch something? I'm only trying to pass my time, so I can go if you want."

It does not seem like he is trying to be reserved; he really is just passing his time. He has a liking for action movies because they keep him awake and are therefore suitable as a way to pass time, which is the only meaning he sees in watching movies. Even now he is watching some Hollywood movie that is mostly known for its tremendous production costs.

"It is the same for me. Do not mind me."

"Uh-huh," he mutters without even looking at me. Not that it bothers me, but why does it not occur to him that we could also watch the movie "together"?

Slightly curious about his attitude, I decide to ask, "Ryoji-san?"

"Hm?"

"What do you think is bothering me about you, Ryoji-san?"

Fairly surprised, he looks away from the screen and gazes at me. After pondering for a while, he replies, "Before I can answer this question, I need to think about the reason why you asked it."

"Yes."

"Your question makes me think that I'm less worth than you. That you are blaming me."

"Yes."

"However, you are able to predict my reaction and thus would not pose this question lightly. In other words, the true answer is more complicated."

"Yes."

Like this, he keeps complicating the intention of my question. I must commend him for his excellent imagination, but he clearly lacks the ability to tell apart right from wrong.

The answer is much simpler: Why do I have to be so polite even though we are siblings?

I suppose I am to blame for that, but you do not give me another choice because this is how you want me to treat you.

In the end, you have no clue what I want from you.

Dear brother, what do you see in me?

And this is how I spend my time, finding no rest in anyone's presence.

I enter my room and can finally be alone.

However, there is no rest even when I am alone.

The thing inside the big mirror of my dressing table is watching me.

I ignore it and quickly finish my homework. I then continue reading an interesting foreign novel in its original language, armed with an electronic dictionary on the table.

"Admit it."

What is un avocat again? Ah, of course, a lawyer.

"You are smart. You should have noticed by now that I am only telling the truth."

...So do I hear this voice even without looking in the mirror now? I sigh and perk up my ears. But I still have my novel open. Because I have not admitted anything.

"No one is looking at you. All they see is someone else."

Someone else? Certainly, they are not looking at me, but at themselves in the one-way mirror.

"And that someone else is me."

But why should that be you?

—Wait!

People are not looking at me but at the one-way mirror that is surrounding me.

At the mirror.

And that mirror is showing you?

Oh, the irony—

—When I look in the mirror, all I see is you as well.

"I will now talk to myself," I say, alone with myself in my room. Of course I am talking to myself. "Mind you, this is a soliloquy. I am not talking to anyone. I do not expect an answer, and even if I feel that I heard one, I will ignore it."

The thing in the mirror that resembles me remains silent. No ... Again, there is no one here besides me.

"Yes, I do get the impression that no one is looking at me. I sometimes even feel that they see something else instead of me."

The room is dead silent.

"But that is only because I have many faces. Because I make use of more than 30 masks to enact the role of a flawless beauty. I am certainly more skilled at using masks than an ordinary person, sometimes to the point that I forget which my real face is, but ultimately everyone uses masks. In psychology, there is a concept called persona. Human beings are thought to create a personality, or a persona, specialized for socializing. I simply happen to use personae more frequently than an ordinary person."

I am able to explain why I feel that others do not seem to look at me like this. It is absurd that my masks would get out of control and get a life of their own, let alone become visible to anyone else.

Exactly. This is a satisfying explanation that is clearly correct and in line with common sense.

But there is one problem.

The fact that I explained it to myself.

Obviously, I know what I just explained. I think it is absurd to see someone else in the mirror.

And yet, I can see the girl inside the mirror.

"But you are beautiful," she says in a voice almost the same, and thus essentially different, as mine

Ironically, the more rational I get, the more I realize that she is not a mere illusion. No, am I not contradicting myself with this very train of thought?

I do not know.

"You are beautiful like me."

I do not know, but I heard her voice.

"And you are aware of your beauty."

She says something that would not even occur to me. That would not even occur to me. In other words, if she were just a delusion, she could not have said it.

In utter surprise, a question slips out of my mouth:

"What ... What are you talking about?"

No! I think, but it is already too late.

This cannot be undone.

I talked to her.

And thus—I subconsciously admitted her existence.

===3===

Her gaze pierced through the one-way mirror all the way to me.

Surprised by this now unfamiliar feeling, I found myself looking at her before I knew it.

Mitsui-san...?

She is not looking at me anymore, but I am looking at her and even paused putting my schoolbooks into my bag.

What was that? Did I see things?

"...Reina-san? What's wrong?" Kawai-san, who has come all the way to my classroom just to hear my performance, asks suspiciously.

"...No, never mind," I answer wearing my mask again, but it seems like Kawai-san has already realized that my surprise was a special sign.

After our short exchange, I notice that Mitsui-san has already left the room.

"Excuse me, Kawai-san, but there is something I need to take care of at home, so I would rather not play the piano today."

"Huh? Ah, yes ... of course, if you are busy."

With these words, I bow my head to her and secretly pursue Mitsui-san. She has not joined any club and does not seem to have a lot of friends, so often goes straight home. I hurry to the shoe lockers.

I found her.

While she is busy changing into her outdoor shoes, I walk up to her. Noticing that someone is approaching, she turns to me.

"Kamisu-san...? Is something wrong?"

"No, I was just in a little hurry because of a pressing matter," I explain and observe her. In an unobstrusive manner, of course.

Aah, it is as I thought.

Mitsui-san is looking at me right through the mirror. There is no doubting it.

"...Goodbye then, Kamisu-san."

"Goodbye."

I part with her in a natural manner.

It feels like it has been a long time since someone other than Sakairi-san last saw me, not "her". Mitsui-san did still project something else on me, so it is still far from sufficient, but she is definitely different from Kawai-san and the others, who are entirely blind of me.

...But why Mitsui-san?

I am not particularly intimate with her. Well, I am not intimate with anyone, but she is one of the people who barely have any contact with me. She is just a classmate.

Is the answer hidden in her nature, then? She is a very aggressive person because of her vulnerability. She believes that everyone wants to do her harm, which is why she has drawn a defense line to protect herself in the event of a real attack. But ... how is that related to the way she looks at me?

"———"

I try contemplating for a while, but I am entirely lost. There are two less leads.

Besides, is there even a point in finding out?

Perhaps there is none, but now that I have become unable to completely deny "her" existence, it strikes me as important to find a way to discern people who see "her" from those who do not.

If I do not take measures, "she" is going to take me in.

I have not admitted "her" ... I think. But ... as a matter of fact, I accidentally talked to "her". It is as clear as the day that this mistake is going to help "her" to pervade me slowly but surely.

Being taken in by "her". While I do not know if that is a good thing or not, I am neither enlightened enough nor desperate enough to willingly surrender myself to an unknown being.

I suppose I will have to talk to Mitsui-san in person...

I waited on a moment that lent itself to talk with her about it.

However—there was no indication of such a moment to come.

My momentary surprise when first taking notice of Mitsui-san's look turned against me in an unexpected form. Kawai-san, who had astutely observed my slight change, also noticed that Mitsui-san's gaze was different. That would not be an issue in and of itself, but for some reason she mistook Mitsui-san's look as one of scorn.

Because of that, Kawai-san and Mitsui-san have made enemies of each other.

It is impossible for me to disregard Kawai-san's will and become friends with Mitsui-san. As someone who exists for others, I do not have any freedom.

At any rate, it has become difficult for me to approach Mitsui-san.

What should I do? Can I even earn something by approaching her?

I do not know, but ... I feel that it would be wrong not to act when at last I have a reason to.

Therefore, I looked up her address and went there.

Although not as big as ours, the house in which Mitsui-san and her family lived was a quite magnificent brick house and was suitable for a student of the Junseiwa School.

I rang the doorbell and was answered by the lovely voice of a girl, who was probably Mitsui-san's little sister. After I told her why I was here, she briefly said, "The door is open. You may wait inside if you like," and stepped away from the intercom. She must have gone to call her big sister.

Accepting her offer, I walked to the entrance. This would not be necessary in the case of normal houses, but because there was quite a distance between the gate and the entrance, I would have otherwise made Mitsui-san unneeded work.

For a while nobody came. Considering that her sister answered the doorbell, it was possible that they had not employed any housekeepers. They did seem to have their house cleaned from time to time.

While I was gazing at the expensive-looking objects and handicrafts, Mitsui-san arrived and looked at me with blatant bafflement.

"Hello," I said as gently as possible to reduce her caution.

"—Kamisu-san?"

Apparently, my effort to get her guard down ended in a failure, but she was so kind as to take me to her room. Unlike my room, hers was only equipped with the things necessary, which was quite to my liking, and I also praised her for that. After her little sister had brought us some black tea and she had lowered her caution a little, I decided to go ahead and ask her.

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

Much to my surprise, her expression changed abruptly. Is she aware of the fact that her look is piercing through my one-way mirror? Or is she aware that hers is different from the looks of others?

No ... I suppose not. She has practically been threatened by Kawai-san. She must think that I am blaming her. She is that kind of person.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," I assured, trying to calm her down. I also said things to the effect of not intending to attack her and staying on her side, which, for some reason, seemed to surprise her.

Is it so surprising? Even though I am just putting on masks that happen to fit the situation?

This is odd. Does that mean that she was not really looking at me, after all? If she was, then her current attitude makes no sense. Her attitude suggests that she does not know what kind of person I am and what kind of actions I take.

She is not deflected by the one-way mirror and does not see that thing that resembles me. But what if that is all there is to it?

"Ah ... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

Right, what matters is not how she thinks of me but why she is looking at me in this way.

"Your question...?"

"I was wondering why you are watching me."

"T-There's not..." She pauses for a few seconds and continues. "—There's not much to it ... at least I can't put my finger on it."

She seems to be telling the truth.

"You do not not know, either ... I understand."

That means that there was no point in coming here. In that case, I have no business here anymore.

"All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

I stand up and see myself in the mirror.

—No, I see "her" who resembles me.

She is smiling. With a beautiful smile like mine.

Aah—

—It cannot be undone.

The bitterness of biting a coffee bean spreads in my mouth. This bitterness may belong to "her" but it is something different. I don't know this. I don't understand this. I don't admit this. But I do recognize it. I am also aware of the fact that I pretend not knowing the answer. I want to keep feigning ignorance. But now that I can see "her" beautiful smile, I cannot suppress it anymore. I instinctively know what "she" is going to do ... no, what I am going to do using "her", and I also know that it is morally reprehensible. But I cannot control it. There is no one to stop me. I am "she" and "she" keeps accelerating me.

I am not interested in the individual—

—and the individual is not interested in me.

"She" is smiling. "She" is calling me.

＊＊＊

Unable to gain anything from approaching Mitsui-san, I lost to reality.

I face my mirror. I face "her" who resembles me.

"I believe that the evil witch in Snow White lost to herself."

I start to talk to "her".

"Mirrors only reflect. If you ask it who the fairest one of all is, you will only receive the answer you believe yourself. The witch lost faith in being the fairest and thus the mirror answered Snow White. And then she tried to kill her with a poisoned apple.

"But ultimately, even if Snow White had deceased, the mirror would have never again said that the witch was the fairest. It would have continued to say different names, because the witch had admitted Snow White's beauty and with it the possibilty of others being more beautiful than herself. The mirror would not have given the answer the doubtful witch sought."

"What might the point of telling me this little allegory be?"

"Mirrors only reflect."

"That is true."

"That means that you are me and I am you."

"You are stating the obvious."

"Yes, so it is impossible to escape from you."

"Yes, because you are longing for me."

"Longing for you? Even though I do not know what you are?"

"You claim not to know what I am? Even though you have a fair grasp of my nature?"

"But I have not understood you entirely. I need an explanation."

"I suppose you do," "she" smiles inside the mirror. "I am a phenomenon."

"What kind of phenomenon?"

"A phenomenon called 'Reina Kamisu.'"

"That is my name."

"Yes, it is. But what else would you call me?"

"Point taken," I smile.

"I am a phenomenon no powers other than being visible. A phenomenon that can be given a role by naming it."

"But if you are 'visible' then you must be linked to something, right?"

"Yes, I am linked with the Form that is based on beauty."

"The theory of Forms."

"That might be a close term for it."

"Are you independent?"

"To almost no degree. I am dependent on other beings and I lack the ability to reflect and to actively update information. I do, however, have knowledge and I do obtain a consciousness when taking shape."

"The ability to update information?"

"Even I have to adapt in order to persist. For example, when I speak your language, I make use of your knowledge to transform raw information into words. Since my hosts, which are you human beings, are in permanent change, I have no other choice but to change with them."

"In other words, information is what links you with us?"

"This is not everything that it entails, but it certainly is part of it."

"It is difficult to follow you."

"As I said before, I am transforming information into language, so my words are lacking accuracy."

"It is no different for us! I also often feel restricted by the imperfection of words. But that aside ... if you are connected to us in such a way, do we also suffer from any side effects?"

"I suppose that because of my remoteness to your common world view, there is a chance that you might lose it by 'seeing' me." 

"Which means?"

"Your world view is a filter of sorts. By sending information through it, you are able to process data smoothly and without falling into confusion. Did you know that if you are born blind and have a cornea transplanted, you may not be able to see anything even though your eyes are properly functioning?"

"I think I have heard about that."

"Why is that? It is because they cannot process the information gathered by their eyes! People who have been born blind lack the practice of 'seeing' and therefore do not know how to cope with the light sent through the cornea. They cannot filter the information. As a result, they see nothing."

"In other words, by 'seeing' you we are forced to cope with the kind of information that would normally be filtered out by our subconsciousness?"

"Yes. As a result, you might fall into confusion, stand out in the world that is defined by the common world view, and mistake your selection of what information to filter out."

"Has that already happened to me?"

"Who knows?"

"This sounds synonymous to 'insane' to me."

"That is another way to put it."

"Am I insane?"

"I cannot deny that."

"Quite honest, aren't you?"

"However, you have already defined me as true."

"That alone is the truth."

"There is no such thing as universal truth, though."

"Sadly, you are right."

"Well then, let's get to the point. What role have I given to you? Why did I wish for you?"

"Do I even need to say it?"

"I suppose not. After all, you are Reina Kamisu."

"Yes, my role is—you."

"Your role is—me."

"I am the you who you believe has been lost inside others."

"Yes, you are the most perfect and beautiful and inanimate mask I have ever created."

""That is why others will see Reina Kamisu when they look in these eyes.""

"You then wished for me."

"I subconsciously wished for a perfect mask. By obtaining a new self, I wanted to lose my interest in others because they would only ever ignore me."

"Because it would make you relentless."

"Lose my interest in anyone."

"Lose your sympathy for individuals."

"Lose my soul."

"Therefore, my role is—"

"Yes, your role is to go against this world that turned me into this. To be—"

""—a tool of vengeance.""

＊＊＊

I became aware of the being that is Reina Kamisu.

I became aware of my tool of vengeance.

And the moment I became aware, I lost my powerlessness. I was set free from the control of others.

Even better, I am now freer than anyone else and can even soar up to the skies.

I am in a position where I can easily have my will.

After all, I have become one with Reina Kamisu and can freely make use of her.

This is how I use the perfect mask that is Reina Kamisu.

Or perhaps it is how Reina Kamisu uses me.

Either way, all that is left is to head straight for my goal.

Until everything crumbles into dust.

Until I crumble into dust.

===4===

Reina Kamisu is a concept that belongs only to me. Even if the phenomenon can exist by itself now that it has received the name of Reina Kamisu, it is safe to assume that its scope is still limited to myself at this point.

However, the people around me can clearly see Reina Kamisu.

For example, if your view is obstructed by some kind of white haze, you may interpret it as a ghost or as a white cloth, or you do not even bother yourself with the question of what it is at all, but you can see it in any case.

Likewise, other people can clearly see her. The perfect mask I have obtained by losing my soul certainly exists. I may be the only one who interprets her as the phenomenon Reina Kamisu, but they can see something that is different from what I see but that is essentially the same.

For example, it might be yourselves reflected by the one-way mirror.

"I will die in a few days from now."

I say something that can be interpreted in many ways.

"Die?"

"Yes."

"You?"

Which leads Ryoji-san to start puzzling over the deepest meanings of my words. All that is left for me to do is to to say the things he wants me to say. I do not get an answer from him. All he can do is present his answers to Reina Kamisu.

Alas, dear brother, with so few hints you cannot get it right!

As always, Ryoji-san engages in fairly solid reasoning and drifts off from the answer more and more.

I say the phrase I prepared for him:

"Go to my room when the time comes."

The mirror is there. Reina Kamisu is there. Of course, she is only visible to me, though.

This is my way of putting a curse on him. A curse that I am afraid he is unable to lift for the time being, for—

"I will die."

—Right. Because I will die.

This will cause him to use Reina Kamisu and aggravate the curse I put on him. There is a low probability that he might notice that it was not really me who he has seen, but if that happens then so be it. It would that he earned himself the right to be released.

"—but only metaphorically."

Right, I may die but Reina Kamisu will not.

And as long as Ryoji-san's own Reina Kamisu does not die, the curse will persist.

Death.

It is a tool that is most useful in the event of controlling someone's heart.

It has a tremendous emotional impact and can even be destructive depending on how you use it.

Death is unavoidable and of equal significance to everyone.

Therefore I decided to take advantage of it.

I start to make preparations.

I start to make preparations, using my Reina Kamisu.

Step by step, my vengeance gets executed.

After school, Mitsui-san called me out. While I do not know what she needs from me, I cannot turn her request down in front of everyone, since I am using Reina Kamisu.

My assumption is that she is seeking for help after being hurt by Kawai-san.

"Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it," she says with eyes that do not see Reina Kamisu. They see me, not Reina Kamisu.

I suddenly feel a little unsettled.

Might her missing ability to see Reina Kamisu get in the way of my plan of vengeance? Her words bear far less weight than Reina Kamisu's, so I doubt that anyone would listen to her even if she tried to stop me. If, however, there are more people like Mitsui-san who can see "me" to some degree, they might give an ear to her.

What should I do? What if Mitsui walked around spreading her suspicions?

"After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

I fail to come to a conclusion.

For the time being, it might be a good idea to display my influence.

"Besides—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

It is but the truth, and Mitsui-san is aware of that.

She is left speechless.

We arrive at the back of the gym where she wanted to take me. The secretary of the student council, Anna Fuyuki, has already been waiting here and seems to be in a state of horrible agitation. It is quite obvious what is going to happen now.

I glance over to Mitsui-san.

Fuyuki-san is not someone who would willingly confess her love, let alone have Mitsui-san, an enemy of Kawai-san's, help her arrange it. That means that Mitsui-san has coerced her into this situation.

Why?

Before I arrive at an answer, however, Fuyuki-san opens her mouth:

"Sorry for ... calling you out to such a place."

"No, I do not mind at all."

I would like to catch a glimpse of Mitsui-san's facial expression, but Reina Kamisu is not allowed to avert her eyes from the earnest girl in front of my eyes.

Is that also part of her plan? No, I doubt she is that scheming.

Fuyuki-san struggles for along time to let out a single word, but eventually succeeds:

".........I love you."

Her words are extremely powerful. There might be no ill will in them, but they are essentially a threat. If I am basing my threat on my death, she is basing hers on her fragile and honest feelings.

They are so pure that they cannot be easily crushed.

Reina Kamisu fails to reply offhand.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Reina Kamisu manages to respond her pure feelings with a smile.

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

And crushed them.

She crushed her pure feelings.

"...Thank you...for your time..."

With these words, Fuyuki-san disappears. The Reina Kamisu inside her should be fine, but ... it was a close call.

The total energy of emotions does not change so easily, but their direction does. Especially in cases like this.

Well then—

—Yukimi Mitsui is the greater problem right now.

I look at her. Ah, as I thought.

Her gaze is piercing through Reina Kamisu and reaches me.

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment.

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

No soul.

I did not expect her to figure out that much. Most impressive.

"...No soul? What do you mean?"

I feign ignorance, however, because it might be a wild guess on her part.

I must not readily admit to it. If she has really seen through me, my fears that she might stand in the way of my plan of vengeance could turn out true.

"Oh come on ... Kamisu-san, you're just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Interesting. Referring to me a "shell" is quite an accurate simile. For someone who does not see my content, Reina Kamisu, I certainly must look like an empty shell.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real."

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?"

"I do."

I am perfectly aware that I crushed her pure feelings and even had difficulties doing so. However—

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

—You cannot say that I have feelings of guilt?

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things ... no?"

Wrong. It is just as she says. I can no longer explain my way out, but I must.

But I am not able to. Mitsui-san has understood me. By observing others, she has understood what Reina Kamisu is. She correctly assessed me and was convinced of her assessment when she saw my reaction to Fuyuki-san.

Driven into a corner, I make a slip of tongue.

"Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

I accidentally tell her part of my plan.

I expected her to deny it. She could not possibly have such a fine understanding of me.

However—Mitsui-san replied without missing a beat:

"They would."

I am at a loss for words.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

How accurate.

Reina Kamisu is a phenomenon and I am her vessel.

Neither of us is human.

The following day I learned that Fuyuki-san had cut her wrist.

Beyond doubt, that confession was the cause. Fuyuki-san is a precious sacrificial lamb of mine; if I do not take measures, she might turn unusable because she is most likely planning to dissociate herself from me as it is. Do I look for a substitute, do I give up on one sacrifice, or do I get in touch with her and bring her back in order? After some wavering, I decide for the latter.

I walked to her classroom before school started, sneaked a peek inside, and found her sitting at her desk, hanging her head. She was easy to recognize thanks to her friends surrounding her. To my relief, Kawai-san was not among them.

As I enter the room I create a stir. With widened eyes Fuyuki-san notices me and immediately looks away. I suppose this is the natural reaction in this case.

Nonetheless, I walk up to her without hesitation.

"Fuyuki-san."

Surprised that I called her name, her eyes widen once more.

"H-How can I help you?"

"I would like to talk. Can you spare me a moment?"

Fuyuki-san nods a few times with her eyes still rounded.

"Thank you. Then ... yes, would you be so kind as to follow me to the second music room?"

She nods a few times again and follows me.

"Um ... what would you like to talk about?"

While she is waiting for me anxiously, I approach to the piano and sit down on the stool. To my chagrin, I have to admit that I have grown accustomed to this stool.

"How is your wound?" I ask with my gaze turned at her bandage, ignoring her question. I am expected to first worry about her wound.

"Ah ... I was just being stupid ... you don't need to worry about it, Reina-san."

"Please do not say that."

"No, but ... um ... it's not your fault, Reina-san..."

Oh, that is what she worried about? That suits her personality.

"Do not cut yourself anymore, all right?"

"......Yes," she nods hesitantly, which is fully understandable. Every child knows that one should not hurt oneself, and yet Fuyuki-san cut her wrist. She had to.

Fuyuki-san has been suffering enough to find herself in this situation—

—and thus longs for Reina Kamisu.

"...I have come here today, Fuyuki-san, to talk to you about yesterday."

Her face darkens as she hears me say so.

"Allow me to be direct ... Mitsui-san forced you to say it, right?"

After a few moments of hesitation, she replies, "Yes..." and adds, "but—"

"I thought so," I interrupt. I will not let her finish that sentence. "I was unable to properly handle your confession yesterday."

"Huh—?" she gasps and raises her face in surprise.

"I was unable to answer you honestly in the presence of a bystander, let alone the culprit who schemed it."

"W-What do you mean by this?"

I smile and say, "Now, please listen to my real reply: We are both girls, so I am afraid that we cannot become a couple."

"Yes ... I understand."

"However, I can accept your feelings nevertheless."

"W-What...?"

"This is quite difficult to express ... it might be more appropriate to say that I can be by your side while acknowledging your feelings for me. Going out with each other does not quite catch the nuance ... I really cannot think of an accurate term."

Fuyuki-san is left flabbergasted, but as the meaning of my words slowly gets through to her, she starts to blush.

"E-Err—"

"Are you unhappy with that?"

"N-No! By no means! I actually ... I wanted to become like this! Just ... feeling the same for each other ... is enough for me ... well, I guess ... I was dreaming of this kind of ... slightly special relationship."

"Is that so? Excellent," I comment with a smile. I can tell that she is charmed by me. "But have to warn you."

"Y-Yes ... what is it?"

"If possible, you should refrain from telling anyone about this. You understand why, right?"

"Y-Yes, of course."

"So why do we not make it our little secret?"

"—Our little secret..." she mutters with flushed cheeks and replies, "Yes!"

Our secret, yes?

Fufu, I am afraid that is not quite true.

It will be your very own secret, Fuyuki-san.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."

Because—

—I will no longer be around later today.

As I explained to Mitsui-san, it is in my current power to control others. It would be child's play to get rid of Mitsui-san by taking advantage of Kawai-san.

But I did not do it.

Not because I thought it would be cruel. I do not possess human emotions anymore. As she correctly stated, I have lost interest in others.

And yet I did not do it. Even worse, I learned from Fuyuki-san that Mitsui-san was in danger and went there to intervene.

"Why ... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

Why did I save her?

I wonder why?

I am not sure, but probably—I was happy.

I was happy that someone said I was "not human," that someone truly saw me.

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human," I explain my way out, because that is the answer she wanted to hear.

Aah, I am empty even in front of her. I am just a shell.

If ... If I met her a little earlier, perhaps I would have not turned into what I am now? No, I suppose there never was room for such an if scenario. I was born with this fate, floated all the way here—and will scatter.

"I'm so jealous."

I was not a little surprised to hear that.

Jealous. It is a word that I hear on a regular basis. However—Mitsui-san said so while understanding me.

"Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I could—do without a soul."

I see...

I finally found out. Why has Mitsui-san been able to look properly at me?

It is because to Mitsui-san, I was her Reina Kamisu.

Everyone sees Reina Kamisu through me, the ideal in the view of the observer.

Mitsui-san said she was jealous of me because I have no soul.

Right. Mitsui-san, too, sees Reina Kamisu through me. She, too, sees her ideal in me. However, I happen to be her very ideal; her Reina Kamisu is practically identical with me. She has no need to see Reina Kamisu because I am close enough.

That is why she could directly observe me.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

"Huh...?"

I was happy.

I felt accepted for the first time in my life.

Because of that, my facial muscles moved on their own. I have no means of knowing what my face looked like because it was an uncontrolled expression.

I am so happy, therefore let me grant your wish.

Luckily, it is in line with both my plan and the means I am going to employ.

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

Right, if Mitsui-san views me as her ideal, then she should be able to interpret a special meaning into my words.

My deep words and my death will guide her to the place she wishes to be.

"I will help you get there!"

Just like the others.

Of course, I have not the slightest idea where that will be.

I stationed Mitsui-san at the second music room where my body will pass during the fall. The only task that remains is to add the girl who has the strongest tendency of seeing Reina Kamisu to my plan.

Where might she be?

Just as I thought so—

"Reina-san!"

She, Kawai-san, called my name.

Nobody is as obsessed with Reina Kamisu and cleanliness as Kawai-san. She was longing for an unstained, beautiful person, and found it in Reina Kamisu.

Ignoring the fact that a person fulfilling her requirements does not exist.

"You have come at the correct time. I was searching for you."

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"There is something I wanted to tell you," I explain briefly. Not many words are needed anymore in her case.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."

This will make sure that she will pursue Reina Kamisu for the rest of her life. While I do not know where she will find her Reina Kamisu, I have a hunch that—

—it is where I am headed now.

I go to the rooftop.

＊＊＊

Reina Kamisu is already waiting for me when I arrive at the rooftop. She has broken free from the mirror. Well, she has always been right by my side since the moment I admitted her existence.

"Now you only need to fall down from here, is that right?"

"Yes, that will be the last step."

Fortunately, there is no one else here.

No, perhaps we are not alone. Perhaps I am subconsciously ignoring someone.

I do not mind either way as long as it does not impede my plan.

"I do not understand. How does this result in vengeance?" she asks.

"Well, I doubt that your role includes understanding my plan..."

"Would you mind disclosing some of it to me?"

"Sure."

"I am quite sure of this, but let me ask nonetheless. Having Kawai-san, Fuyuki-san and the others follow you into death is not what you consider your vengeance, right?"

"Exactly," I answer while searching for a place where I will fall past the window of the second music room.

"Should I think of your vengeance as something abstract?"

"Abstract...? No, I mean it quite literally. I suppose it can be considered abstract in the sense that it is hard to predict to what degree my plan will prove to be successful."

"...What is your plan, then?"

I shall answer her.

Ah, this tension in my facial muscles—I felt the same tension when talking with Mitsui-san earlier.

Oh, I remember this feeling now.

I am—

"To kill people!"

—laughing.

"Of course, I have no idea how successful my plan will be, but I want to kill people. I want to kill as many of them as possible. But not with ordinary means. I could only kill so many if I built a nuclear bomb. Would it not be a shame if there was no hope to kill more? If possible, I would like to wipe the entire human race from the face of the earth."

"How frightening. But how does falling down from here result in killing people?"

I finally find a good place that can be observed from the second music room. This will make sure that Mitsui-san will also have her soul erased.

"How I am going to kill? It is truly simple," I smile at Reina Kamisu. "I will use you!"

"Use me...?"

"Yes. Mind you, I am not talking about my interpretation of Reina Kamisu, but about your essence, about 'the phenomenon that can become visible.'"

"You want to use me as a weapon? Don't be silly. I have no power by myself. As you said, I am just a phenomenon that can become visible," she argues.

"That is more than enough."

"Poor thing. It seems like you have gone insane for good."

"I will not deny it. But although I may be insane, I can still think logically."

"Lunatics all say that."

I grab the fence. It seems to be stable enough to support my weight.

"What do you think will my fall from here cause?"

"...Let me think. First and foremost, you will die. After that, the people you prepared might end up committing suicide. Some kind of vicious cycle might even ensue ... but eradicating the human race is definitely impossible."

"You are right. I will die, Kawai-san and a few other people will die, and this marks the end of my preparations."

I lean against the fence and look Reina Kamisu straight in the eyes.

"This will allow me to overwrite your information."

Reina Kamisu gazes at me with utter surprise.

"Overwrite my information, you say?"

"Yes."

"Do you mean that you are going to redefine me as a phenomenon that kills people?"

"Exactly!"

"Even in the unlikely event that you succeeded in overwriting my information, what you plan to do would be impossible. Again, my sole power lies in 'becoming visible.' You could just as well tell a human to fly!"

"You do not need any new powers. You are fully capable of killing people as you are now."

"What was that...?"

"I just need to pin you!"

"'Pin me'?"

"At the moment, your shape is so vague that people refer to you by various names like god, angel, or whatnot. I will thus pin you to a single shape, by adding a new condition required to see you."

"Meaning...?"

"I will give you the fixed name Reina Kamisu."

"I do not understand. How does that give me the power to kill?"

"Do you not get my point? If you receive the name Reina Kamisu, you will no longer be just a vague concept but a 'person.'"

"That might be true, but what of it?"

"Your nature entails taking on the role your observer needs the most, right? What if you take on that role as a 'person'? Well, you will become the most important person to you observer. However, ultimately you are nothing more than a phenomenon, and once your observer realizes that, he will despair."

"And that is enough to kill people?"

"At least in the case of those who are desperate enough to seek you. Besides, do not forget that you will become Reina Kamisu. Do you know what this implicates?"

"...No, I don't."

"Nomen est omen. The name is a sign. For example, it is not possible to give you a boy's name because you are the Idea of Female Beauty. Likewise, it is not possible to give you the name of an object like an air conditioner, goggles or a toilet seat.

"However, it is possible to give you the name Reina Kamisu, and the name will bind you to a human appearance.

"And that is not all; there is more to this name. Originally, you are a phenomenon that only has a vague appearance, but you lose this vagueness by receiving the name Reina Kamisu. Your appearance will be reminiscent of me, and so will your nature. Right—"

While laughing I say:

"—the very name of Reina Kamisu will kill people."

"Fairy tales. As a matter of fact, you have not killed a single—" she pauses. "Wait—is that why you made those 'preparations'?"

"Exactly. I will now lead Kawai-san and the others to death. While I cannot predict how many of them will die, my plan is to make them die. To murder them. To attach an image to the name Reina Kamisu."

Reina Kamisu is at a loss for words. However, she quickly recovers and points out, "This is a well-thought-out delusion, but I am afraid that the premise is not established. How do you prove that it is even possible to overwrite my information?"

"Sadly, I have no proof."

"As I thought."

"But it makes sense, no? At the very least, the people I 'prepared' will see you. As Reina Kamisu, of course. Other students of this school or acquaintances of mine might also become able to see you and call you by my name. If so many people start to refer to you as Reina Kamisu, the odds are not too bad for your information to be changed the way I aspire to, right?"

"...I suppose the chances are not zero."

"That is enough for me to take the risk. I will sacrifice my own blood and that of several young girls and pray to create this curse. If that fails, then so be it."

With these words, I climb on the fence and stand on top of it.

I look down.

All I can see is the vicinity of the Junseiwa School, but that is just fine. Ultimately, my own world was no bigger than this, and yet I loathe the entire world. Unreasonable? Why? Isn't that human nature? Isn't it human nature to judge the whole by a part? The world is not kind to me. It is trying to dispose of me. It is ignoring me. That is why I will scatter, cursing anything and everything that belongs to this scenery.

"...You are a horrible person for dragging me into this."

I hear Reina Kamisu's voice behind me.

"Of course. You also belong to the things that I loathe."

"...What?"

"You are also a target of my vengeance, dear Reina Kamisu."

"This makes no sense. You said yourself that I am you and you are me."

"And that is exactly why—"

I bite my lips.

"—I hate you."

"I wanted to see myself in the mirror. You were uncalled-for. I wanted to be normal like everyone else. But—I could not! Because of you! Because of me!"

I am surprised by myself.

My voice is rough with anger? I am irritated? At whom? At Reina Kamisu?

...No. At myself.

I have not lost my feelings and I am actually turning them against myself.

But—

—I decide not to think about the meaning of this.

"I am going to take revenge on you. You will continue to exist for all time as a curse named Reina Kamisu, as a being that torments people."

"...Is that really what you wanted to accomplish?"

I unwittingly turn around to her.

"What do you mean...?"

"You could not see yourself in the mirror, right? You were just as blind to yourself as everyone else, right? Then how on earth would you be able to know what you want?"

"I don't know," I say bluntly and look ahead again, at the world I despise. "All I can do is—loathe this world that shows no understanding for me."

In response, Reina Kamisu whispers:

"If only you realized that everyone has to cope with the mundane feeling of not being understood in some way..."

Shut up.

I do not want to hear that nonsense.

I covered my ears.

And jumped.

＊＊＊

Everything tilts and tilts and tilts—

The despicable sky is colored dark red.

You do not change a bit even now.

I may be able to soar up to you.

But I am damned to fall.

I cannot reach so far.

I can only reach the bottom.

Oh sky!

Oh twilit sky!

Just like the sun that dyes you red every passing day,

I shall continue to dye you red with the blood I spill—

So at least—

—Do not forget me.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
|-
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</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina

2017-01-06T17:53:04Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 4: Kazuaki Toyoshina==
===1===

It was me who provided the picture for Shizuka Wakui's funeral.

I own more pictures of her than anyone else—more than she did even. Her smiling, her crying, her getting upset... they are all treasures to me.

I raise my head to look at the photo of Shizuka's lovely smile at the altar.

Ah, it's already been a year since she stopped smiling like that.

Ever since that incident a year from now, she hasn't shown that happy and careless smile of hers. Instead, her eyes dulled and her smiles turned into faint motions of her lips.

But I didn't mind. I was willing to wait by her side for her to regain the joy of living and had no plans of searching for another love.

The smell of incense hits my nose.

I feel like I turn empty as the smell soaks into my body; as if it silently bereaves me of myself. What remains of me is a translucent mass of untouchable void.

All colors around me are either black or white, or the green of our school uniforms. Even colors were stolen from me.

Most likely, I'm going to stay in this strangely isolated world from now on.

"Kazuaki," someone says. I turn around to look at a meek Kiichi.

"...You're here?"

"Of course I am. All of our classmates are."

As Kiichi correctly mentioned, our entire class is here. In fact, there are also students from other classes who used to be friends with Shizuka, students I don't even know and even a few students from other schools.

After that incident, Shizuka started to lose her friends one by one and stopped making new ones, until I was the last remaining person at school who was close to her. The friendship between girls is defined by how they relate to each other; at first, her friends accompanied her because of sympathy, but eventually they couldn't keep up with how she changed.

Nevertheless, many old friends have come to Shizuka's funeral and lamented for her sake. Right now, she's the heroine of a tragedy for everyone, which doesn't please me. She was supposed to be my heroine, not someone else's.

Therefore, I ignore them and gaze at the picture of her.

Her smile.

Why, truly why, could I not protect that smile?

Where did we make the wrong choice? What should I have done? Was my choice to embrace her wrong? Or was it too late by then anyway?

Why could I not protect the one thing I wanted to protect whatever it would take?

What am I supposed to do now that I have completely and entirely lost Shizuka—my other half—my hope, my purpose?

I am the same as that picture.

The smile depicted and I are but evanescent remnants of the past.

Shizuka's body was transported away.

I didn't get to see her face one last time because of severe damage to her corpse. Had I insisted, I may have gotten permission to take a look, but neither Shizuka nor I would have wished for that.

I mean, they said damage. Not injury or scars, boy, but damage.

Hahaha, Shizuka isn't a human being anymore. She's void. Seeing that would only sadden me.

The black and white and green colors have disappeared as I keep standing there, focusing my gaze on the door through which her body was transported.

"Kazuaki-kun," someone says behind me.

"Mrs Wakui."

It's Shizuka's mother, a sorrowful expression on her face. She looks like that because of the loss of her daughter, of course, but part of her melancholy is probably due to sympathy for me.

"Let me give you this," she says as she holds out her fist. When I present the palm of my hand, she drops something on it.

"Ah—"

It's a cross choker; a Christmas present I bought for Shizuka two years ago, saving up three months' worth of pocket money.

"Shizuka was wearing it when she passed away. I... I thought I should give it to you."

I don't look up as I listen to her words, and keep gazing closely at the choker in my hand.

She was wearing it at the bitter end? Even though she hasn't worn it a single time after that incident?

What's the meaning of this? Why did she wear it at the end?

"I'm sorry," she suddenly says.

I'm sorry. Words of apology.

"Ah—"

Damn.

Her mother apologized ahead of me.

She took my right to apologize.

It would have been so much easier to blame myself for having failed to ease Shizuka's pain, for having let her accept such a fate, for being responsible for her death. It would have been so much easier to apologize and crack under the weight.

But her mother didn't grant me that right.

She took up that position before me.

The only thing I have left now is—

"Uh..."

"UAAAAAAAWHHHH!"

—to cry my lungs out.

===2===

Kiichi and I are on our way to the Shikura public middle school. Normally, there's no reason why a high school student who is neither in a committee nor in a club would go to a completely unfamiliar middle school that requires him to take an express train just because it's slightly too far away to go by bicycle. Normally.

"He said he's waiting," Kiichi explains as he claps his cell phone.

"Okay, thanks man. We're better off if there's someone with us who knows his way around. I hear of a lot of suspicious figures around here lately, I don't want them to suspect us."

"Well, not like we're any less suspicious."

"Heh, sounds about right. What's your brother's name, again?"

"Yuji."

"Yuji Kato it is, huh. Do you resemble each other?"

"I honestly can't tell, but for some reason, he's pretty popular with the girls."

"You don't look anything like each other, then."

"...Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

Responding with a wordless grin, I insert my ticket and go through the barrier. Kiichi looks me in the face in a serious manner.

Aah, I see.

He doesn't understand at all; it's been two weeks since the funeral. I've already had a hard time when she was still alive, so it's child's play for me to put on a cheerful face like this.

"Hey, Kazuaki," he starts when we entered the train, still with a heavy-hearted mien. "I shouldn't be giving you sermons already, but you really shouldn't drag on Wakui-san's death forever, 'kay?"

"Why?"

"Well, dude..." he falters for a moment when I counter his advice dryly. "I know that you loved Wakui-san. Maybe it was mutual love even. But Kazuaki: You weren't a couple, let alone married. Just childhood friends. I mean, look at that cute midget girl who's hitting on you; she's the proof that you're popular. Don't waste that potential."

"Aah... you had that kind of impression of us?"

"Hm? But I'm spot-on, no? You obviously were on the way from friends to lovers."

"Nope."

"Oh come on, maybe that's what you thought."

"We were a couple."

"...What? For real?"

Ah, of course he wouldn't know about us. We've only known each other since high school.

"We already started going out in the 6th year of elementary school. Don't go telling this around, but we kissed and even made out with each other in middle school."

"...Did you take the next step?"

"No. She always insisted on waiting until we could marry, and I listened to her like a moron."

"I see..." he squeezes out and falls silent.

However, I continue with a stimulated sense of self-mockery.

"She was raped."

"Yeah..." he comments insecurely, with an ambiguous expression that makes it clear that he already heard of this fairly well-known story.

"What do you think is the first thing she said to me when she told me about it?"

"I have no idea..."

"I'm so sorry."

Kiichi glances at me for a moment, and silently lowers his gaze.

"We had no doubts," I continue, "that I would take her virginity, and that she would give me her virginity. No one expected the train to derail from that predestined path. After we had gone through that station, we would enroll at the same university, find a job, and marry. Finally, after death had part us, we would rest in peace in the same grave. It was an unspoken promise between us that we would follow this path."

"Mm..."

"But that incident messed our plans up. That clear path laid out before us disappeared into thin air. That's why she... apologized, thinking it was her fault. Blaming herself for everything."

"———"

Kiichi is in complete silence, but I continue:

"She was so churned up inside that she couldn't even touch me anymore. No, maybe she just had androphobia, who knows. Anyway, she just wouldn't look at the new path I was trying to build for the two of us. Because of that, we returned to just being friends. Of course, I didn't plan to leave it that way."

"I see..." he simply says.

There's an oppressive silence between us for a while, underlining the tedious rattling of the train. The passengers around us seem to think of everyone else as mere scenery, fiddling with their cell phones or focusing on the music from their headphones.

I begin to speak again.

"I found one of her rapers the other day."

Kiichi's head jumps up. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"...What did you do?"

"I killed him."

He completely loses his tongue.

"I tore off all his clothes, crushed his balls with a stone, beat him up until his face was no longer recognizable, stuffed his mouth with his own shit, peeled off his fingernails one by one, squashed his eyeballs... and while I was doing so, he kicked the bucket."

"...You're joking."

My gaze pinned on the pubs and video shops and fast food restaurants flying by outside the window, I answer him:

"'Course I am."

Fortunately, I don't know what they look like.

As the train starts to slow down, I look outside and think:

Come to think of it... I haven't had Gyudon in a while.

The Shikura Middle School is built amidst the living quarters; finally arriving there, we spot a bunch of students playing soccer and baseball in the cramped school grounds.

Five minutes after Kiichi gives him a call, Yuji shows up at the entrance gate, still in sports gear, subliminally remarking that he was in the middle of working out. With his large and athletic build it stands to reason that he would be popular.

"Let me cut straight to the chase: The three students who committed suicide were in your class, is that right, Yuji-kun?"

"Yes, we had quite the chaos going on here because of that."

"What do you mean?"

"Things like no one wanting to take the blame, getting a new class teacher, and so on."

Three students taking their lives is a big problem, indeed. Added to that, they're in the middle of puberty (not that I'm much older), too, which doesn't mix well and allows for even more problems.

"I heard the gist from Kiichi, so I'll delve right into the details: What do you consider the reason why they committed suicide?"

Yuji-kun ponders. "I think each had their own problems, really. The girl of the first incident didn't have any friends and wasn't exactly treated well in class, and the guy who killed himself next blamed himself for the death of the first victim."

"...Ah, so they didn't commit suicide independently, but rather the first suicide triggered a chain?"

"...That's my view, yes."

"All right..."

When I heard that three students had killed themselves at different times and in different places, I suspected the same irregularity as with Shizuka's case; after all, you wouldn't just commit suicide just because you are confronted with the topic.

If, however, their cases are interconnected and can be traced back, they may not be regular, but they're by no means irregular either.

It seems like this trace, which I tracked because I found that Shizuka was investigating these incidents, ends here.

"Can you show me your classroom, Yuji-kun?" I propose just in case.

"Sure. But please try not to catch anyone's eye. It's a hassle to explain ourselves."

Yuji-kun and I (Kiichi stayed outside) entered the school building. He then showed me around, guiding me to relevant places like their classroom, the landing of the stairway that leads to the roof, where the first victim was often seen, and so on. By the way, the place where I wanted to go most, the roof, was closed, perhaps because of those incidents.

"So? Did you learn anything?" Yuji-kun asks before the door to the roof.

"Hm..." As expected, the places didn't make an impression on me.

"Can I ask you something on the matter, too?" he responds to my silence.

"What is it?"

"Why are you investigating in the first place, Toyoshina-san?"

After giving it some thought, I reply, "I had a girlfriend."

"My brother told me something along those lines. He said she... committed suicide," he explains, faltering a little before squeezing out the word suicide. "Ah, do you suspect that it wasn't suicide but murder? And that it was the same culprit for the cases at this—"

"Haha, no, that's not it. To be honest, I think she had a proper reason to commit suicide."

"But then why?"

"A few days before she died, she started to behave strangely. Her condition abruptly worsened as if she had stepped on the gas and fallen from a cliff. In other words, I'm investigating the reason why she suddenly stepped on the gas, you know."

"But is there—" Yuji-kun starts, but cuts off mid-sentence, making a grimace.

"What?"

"Ah, no, please forget about it. I don't want to be rude."

"It's okay, I'm curious."

He looks me in the eyes repeatedly before he finally gives in with a nod. "Um... I just wondered if there is a point in doing all this?"

A point.

A point, hm?

"I'm... I'm sorry! My tongue slipped!"

"No, it's okay," I assure him and add, "...There is no point, I suppose."

"None at all?" he asks in surprise.

"She did go to strange places in her last days, sure, and she started to become delusional. Maybe that accelerated her death."

"...It sounds meaningful to me to look into that, no?"

"Nope, not at all. I know for a fact that the reason why she committed suicide has nothing to do with all that."

"...No meaning... but then why do you go out of your way to investigate?"

I gaze at Yuji-kun. Looking at his genuinely puzzled face, I'm sure he has never lost a beloved person.

"Because I have nothing else to do, maybe?"

"But that's not true, is it...? Maybe it's a bit early, but you could start preparing for the university exams, or you could be—"

"No, nothing," I interrupt him with a firm voice, "I have nothing else to do."

The path I tried to rebuild was irreversibly destroyed. I'm only drifting away in an empty space now.

All I can do is follow Shizuka's footsteps, even though there is nothing ahead of them. It's simply the only signpost left to me, having lost ground.

"..."

It seems that Yuji-kun remains unconvinced, but so be it; there's no need for him to understand. If he does, it will be once he's in a similar situation.

I look around once more and let out a deep sigh. It seems that there's nothing to be found here. It's not so easy to find the fragments left behind by Shizuka.

I take her choker out of my pocket and gaze at it.

Shizuka, why did you put that choker on before you died? Is there a meaning behind that? Or none at all? I can't even tell that much, even though we've been together for most of our lives.

"Well, if that's all, shall we leave?" he proposes.

I nod in agreement. There's nothing to be gained here.

As I climb down the stairs, I remember that there was one other thing I was meaning to ask.

"Aah, before I forget: Do you happen to know that name, Yuji-kun?" I ask without any expectations.

"What name?"

"Um, lemme see... 'Reina Kamisu.'"

As I finish saying that name, Yuji-kun abruptly stops.

"...Where did you learn about that name?" he asks, surprising me with his reaction. His face is mildly tensed.

"Um, I heard it from my deceased girlfriend."

He stays silent, his gaze still fixed on me.

Huh? What's up with him? Did he know the name after all? No, that wouldn't explain why he would react like this.

Which means that...?

"I don't know a person by that name, but to tell the truth, I did come across that name."

"Where...?"

Reluctantly, Yuji-kun answers me, "The victims mentioned it."

That means that...? Hold on, I need to think.

Yuji-kun heard the name "Reina Kamisu" from the suicide victims. Victims—that's plural. Furthermore, he doesn't know Reina Kamisu himself. However, that does still not explain why he would react in such a strange fashion.

That means—

"...You don't know Reina Kamisu," I start.

"I don't."

"And the other students who are alive don't know her, either."

"...Exactly."

"However... All the suicide victims, including my girlfriend Shizuka, knew Reina Kamisu."

Yuji-kun nods awkwardly.

"I'm not sure if all three of them knew her, but at least the first two victims did mention that name."

"I see."

"The first victim referred to that name as her best friend, while the second one mentioned it in his suicide note as the person who drove him into suicide, mistaking Reina Kamisu for the first victim."

"He mistook her? How could that happen? How can you mistake the name of the person who drove you into death?"

"I thought so, too... but his suicide note is clearly referring to the first victim! I suppose he knew both of them, since they were close friends, and somehow confused them with each other."

"But..."

"Yes, I know. That only explains why the first two victims mentioned that name, but not why your girlfriend knew her, too."

Exactly.

Shizuka and I have known each other for most of our lives because her family's house is just across the street. We have admitted the same schools from kindergarten to high school. In other words, she had just as little to do with the Shikura middle school as me.

There's no reason why a high school student who is neither in a committee nor in a club would go to a completely unfamiliar middle school that is slightly too far away to go by bicycle, but not that far away. Similarly, there's no reason why she would get to know the students from there.

"Shizuka was acquainted with 'Reina Kamisu' even though you guys don't know her and even though she had far less points of contact with the other suicide victims. And everyone who knew Reina Kamisu—"

"—is dead now."

The pieces are starting to come together, forming a ring that connects all of the victims.

An incredibly twisted ring that should not even exist.

Come to think of it, Shizuka and the other victims had no doubt proper reasons to commit suicide. But they only had reasons.

If for example they had actually been killed, they still would have had proper reasons to commit suicide.

In other words, the fact that they had reasons does in no way rule out the existence of a third person who may have influenced them.

No... don't jump to conclusions. I have to consider that Shizuka did some research about this school; maybe she learned about 'Reina Kamisu' in the process.

That being said... that would be an eerie chain of coincidences.

"Toyoshina-san," Yuji-kun starts, "I'll try asking around in school about Reina Kamisu tomorrow."

"Please do so."

Where will this ring lead me? I think as I gaze in the air.

Suddenly, my vision turns blurry as if a drop of water had fallen on my eyes. But that's how it's supposed to be. The world is full of mosaics that conceal the truth from our eyes. We don't really see anything. Perhaps, we arrive at what we think is the answer even though it's based on flawed logic. At the end of the day, three-dimensional beings like us cannot look across a three-dimensional world.

My vision is always blurry, I'm always blind.

Ah, just damn it. Someone tell me what I'm supposed to do! What did Shizuka want me to do? How can I escape fate? What is 1+1? Why is the earth rotating? Why is the earth round? What is gravity? What is magnetic force? What is the meaning of life? Who is Reina Kamisu?

I know that there's no clear answer, so just make up one for me. Just tell me the answer using a valid logic. There should be one, and if there is one, please tell me.

Give me the right answer.

Give me the right answer.

Save me!

Save me before I drown in the swamp that I'm struggling against, that is drawing life out of me!

Suddenly.

I see a silhouette on the landing where I was moments ago.

A person.

"—Huh?"

—It's 'Shizuka.'

"...? What's wrong, Toyoshina-san?" Yuji-kun asks in response to the sudden gasp I let out.

"L-Look, there!" I groan as I point at Shizuka. He traces the direction I'm indicating with his eyes and narrows them.

"...Um, I see nothing."

"T-That's impossible!"

I turn around to the landing once more.

"Ah..."

Shizuka's not there. Of course not. She's dead. She's not among us anymore.

"...Sorry, forget about it."

"You must be tired."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

I'm tired. Yeah. Absolutely.

Otherwise I can't believe it.

"Haha..."

I mean, really, how could I otherwise believe that I, who loved Shizuka more than anyone else, would mistake someone for her.

Shizuka isn't among us. She's not here.

Therefore, that girl over there isn't Shizuka.

That girl over there with an absurdly beautiful smile, who resembles Shizuka, is—

"I'm pleased to meet you."

—Reina Kamisu.

===3===

What was the most important thing for me within my school life?

The answer is obvious; and it's something that's already lost.

School right now is just like a hamburger restaurant that doesn't offer meat. They might introduce tofu instead, but that just doesn't cut it.

For me, at least, there is not a single thing of import at school. The only reason I'm still here is because of habit—a routine I'm programmed to follow— a daily ritual I conduct for my family. It's my duty to assume the role of a lazy student for the teachers, an upbeat friend for Kiichi and the others, and an admirable senior for Hozumi-chan. That being said, it's not just an act I'm playing; every moment I spend in these roles, I'm no one else but my true self. There is no falseness in that.

But whenever I'm not forced into one of these roles, I'm confronted with the gaping emptiness inside me.

Well, no surprise. My single most important role has become redundant, and the part inside me that was reserved for that role has vanished.

After my classes end, I start putting the chairs onto the desks to wipe the floor—which is just another routine I'm forced to repeat over and over.

As I'm doing my work, I suddenly recall my short encounter with Reina Kamisu that ended before I could even exchange a word with her.

She resembled Shizuka more than anyone I have ever met. And while she is definitely not a person, she's not an illusion either. Reina Kamisu has without a doubt interacted with Shizuka and the other students, and driven them into committing suicide. I am 100% convinced of that. However, that conviction unsettles me.

Be reasonable, Kazuaki. What makes me so sure that she is really who I think she is? There is nothing that supports my sentiment; I have no information whatsoever that would allow me to recognize Reina Kamisu. I don't know her appearance, her traits, her personality—nothing.

But the girl I met there is Reina Kamisu.

Why did that answer pop out and click with me? What is the meaning of this?

"Senpai!"

Senpai. For students in lower grades everyone's a senpai, but from the context of my daily routine I can deduct that this refers to me. I turn around to the the window adjacent to the corridor.

"Hey, Hozumi-chan," I say. She answers me with a smile. "And Yoshino-chan," I add, spotting her friend next to her, who in turn bows her head silently.

Yoshino-chan hardly ever talks to me. I suppose she's uncomfortable in the company of the other sex. In fact, when I met her alone on the corridor the other day, she ran away from me like lightning. Of course, that incident got me thinking a little, but against my concerns, it seems like she doesn't actually dislike me.

"You're looking dark. Is something wrong?" Hozumi-chan asks with a smile.

"Hm?" While I don't think that they know her, I decide to give it a try nonetheless. "You don't happen to know Reina Kamisu, do you?"

"Rehna… Kameesu?" she repeats like a parrot and turns her head to her companion. Yoshino-chan wordlessly shakes her head. "Is she famous or something?"

"No, no."

"From our school?"

"No."

"Hm? Then why did you think that we might know her?"

"I didn't expect you to be familiar with her. Just asking, really."

Right, they can't know Reina Kamisu. All who know her are dead by now.

All who know her are dead...?

Including me? Haha, aptly put indeed but not funny.

"Okay then, I have to get going."

"Ah... um, do you mind if I tag along...?" Hozumi-chan asks.

"No, I'm sorry, but..."

"Okay..." she says with blatant disappointment.

In order to soothe my conscience, I explain myself, immediately regretting that slip of the tongue.

"There's something I want to investigate."

"Investigate?"

There you have it: Now I got her curious. Should I answer her...? I know that she has a crush on me, so she would probably follow me along everywhere if I were honest to her. I don't want to torment her by giving her false hopes.

However, I then notice that telling her the truth would actually be helpful in that matter.

"I'm investigating those recent suicide cases."

"Ah..."

As I thought, her face darkens in response to the word "suicide" and the memory of Shizuka Wakui looming behind.

"I see..."

Hozumi-chan's approaches have declined after Shizuka's death. Originally, I thought that she would secretly welcome her death and try everything to take advantage of the gap in my heart.

I was wrong.

By that I don't only mean that Hozumi-chan was in fact sad about Shizuka's death; she was also sensible enough to notice that Shizuka's value to me hadn't changed a bit. And because of that she was let down. Probably.

"...But they don't talk a lot about those incidents on TV, do they?" she says, getting a grip on herself.

"Yeah. Suicide's not a special topic anymore, after all. Besides, I think there are some regulations because it could give people bad ideas."

"I have a feeling that it only gets into the news if it concerns a celebrity or if it's some real bad incident..."

"Real bad..." mutters Yoshino-chan, joining our conversation for the first time today. "Hozumi-chan? Do you remember that incident at the Junseiwa high where several students jumped off a roof?"

Yoshino-chan has the habit of talking to me via Hozuki-chan.

"Hm...? Well, of course. You're always reminding me that you picked our school because of that incident, aren't you? Your middle school was also there, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

Yoshino-chan went to the Junseiwa School? But that's a textbook example of a girls-only school for rich ladies. No wonder that she's so sensitive to boys.

Anyway, now that she mentions it, I remember hearing about that incident quite a while ago, although it had slipped my mind until now.

"Could you me more about it?" I ask her.

"E, erm... I heard that it started with the student council president jumping from the top of a building... Several other students then followed her and jumped off as well..." Yoshino-chan replies looking elsewhere and gradually growing quieter as she speaks.

"How long ago was that...?"

"A little more than three years... I... think..."

I'm surprised I could forget such a huge debacle; or did they really regulate the media so that that incident wasn't made famous?

Yoshino-chan, noticing my confusion, adds with a flushed face, "The media did not point out the number of suicides because that would harm the long history of the Junseiwa School."

I see.

"I want to learn more about that incident. Do you know of someone I could ask...?"

"Um..."

"Hm?"

"My sister was there at the time, so she might be able to provide information. But..." Yoshino-chan says.

"But...?"

"It is a topic that she hates to talk about. So much that she has not even told me about it. I doubt that she will be of any help."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes..."

Perhaps her sister was not entirely unrelated to the mass suicide. Although considering the scale of that incident, it might very well be possible that there was something that concerned the entire campus behind the scenes.

Something.

For example—Reina Kamisu.

"Can't we just ask one of her friends if your sis doesn't want to talk, Yoshinon?" suggests Hozumi-chan as she interrupts us.

"I'm afraid that my sister didn't really have any friends in high school," Yoshino-chan answers her with a bitter smile—behaving entirely different than when talks to me.

"Then how about this: I'm sure your sister has a graduation album, right?" I ask.

"Ah, um, yes..." she nods in a tense manner.

"Could you show that to me?"

"Err, hm..."

She doesn't seem bent on it.

"Just snatch it when she's not looking, Yoshinon!"

"H-Huh?! You're joking, right...?"

"Please, Yoshino-chan," I ask as well, holding my hands together like in a prayer. She seems to be rather troubled, but I can't be choosing my means.

"M-Mmm... I will try."

"Yay! Thanks a bunch."

"B-But there are no addresses and phone numbers in there...! To prevent data abuse because it is a famous school..."

"Okay. But even a photo might give me a clue."

"A clue...?" Hozumi-chan asks with a slightly trembling voice. My face when Shizuka told me about those "humanoid energies" must have looked the same as Hozumi-chan's now.

"Er, well—"

A clue concerning Reina Kamisu; that's what I'm looking for, but I can't tell her that. Unlike Shizuka, I'm perfectly aware of how I appear from an objective viewpoint.

I have discovered a non-human being that promotes suicide, which is neither a ghost nor an illusion, but an enigmatic phenomenon. Moreover, that being is not only incredibly beautiful, but also resembles Shizuka. And she's the one who killed Shizuka!

Yeah, there's no way they would buy that.

I turn my glance at Hozumi-chan, who's sending me a worried look. I have to come up with some excuse. I could tell them that my first love went to that school, and that... no, they can tell it's a lie from the flow of our conversation. Besides, they know that Shizuka was my everything.

"—Err..."

Hozumi-chan is growing even more worried. Quick!

However...

"Kazuaki?"

It just happened that Kiichi showed up from behind them. Thank god.

"What's the matter?" I ask in the most casual voice I could produce.

"I just got an e-mail from my brother. He wants you to contact him."

"Yuji-kun wants me to contact him?"

Did he get around to asking the other students about Reina Kamisu?

After getting Yuji-kun's phone number from Kiichi, I walked away from the group (Hozumi-chan seemed not amused) and hid inside a compartment in the restroom—we are not allowed to openly use our cell phones at school—and called the number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Toyoshina."

"Ah, hello Toyoshina-san."

"Kiichi told me that you wanted to talk to me. What's up?"

"Yes. As promised, I asked around my schoolmates about Reina Kamisu today."

"Oh, thanks a lot."

"Don't mention it. Anyway, I found someone who might know her."

"For real?! But what do you mean by 'might'?"

"You'll understand. I managed to persuade that person to stay at school until you arrive, so may I ask you to come around in the course of the day?"

"Of course."

"Okay then. We're waiting. Drop me a message when you arrive. See you."

"Okay, thanks again. See you."

I end the call with a sigh of relief.

There's someone else besides me who knows Reina Kamisu...? Someone who's also "going to die?" And to that person she also looks like my Shizuka?

"Huh...?" I gasp with a certain doubt in my mind that appeared when I imagined how Reina Kamisu must appear to other people.

Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu resembles Shizuka.

...That's strange. It could be a plain coincidence, of course, but I can't help but feel that there's more to it. Why does she resemble Shizuka?

But then—

Did Shizuka's Reina Kamisu also resemble herself?

I don't think so. My gut feeling tells me otherwise.

Wouldn't it be more plausible to assume that Reina Kamisu is customized to look like Shizuka in my eyes?

Those jeans look great on you, but they're a bit too long, aren't they? Let me cut them down for your size. Let me adjust them to you.

However, what are the implications of that assumption if it's correct?

Reina Kamisu is not defined by her visual data. What does this imply? What is she ultimately, anyway?

My brain can't follow my train of thought. I lack the immunity against incomprehensible phenomena. I start to repeat her name meaninglessly in my head. Reina Kamisu,　Kamisu Reina, Reina Kamisu, Kamisu Reina. Again. Reina Kamisu, Kamisu Reina. Again. Kamisu Reina, Reina Kamisu, Kamisu Reina. Loop. Reina Kamisu, Kamisu Reina.

I leave the restroom, only to find Hozumi-chan waiting by herself for me, her look still discontent.

"What's the matter...?" I ask.

"...Senpai. Are you going somewhere today?"

"Did you listen?"

"I did, but I couldn't quite follow because I only heard your voice."

"I see..."

"Senpai?"

"What is it?"

"—Who is Reina Kamisu?"

She gets right to the heart of the matter, leaving me speechless for a moment.

It seems like she could filter out the crucial keyword from our phone conversation...

"I've always been concerned with you, Senpai, that's why I can tell that this 'Reina Kamisu' is at the core of your worries, and that all your worries are connected to Wakui-senpai in some way or another. Please be honest with me. Does that 'Reina Kamisu' have something to do with Wakui-senpai's death?"

"...Where's Yoshino-chan?" I ask as I avert my gaze from her and search for her companion.

"She went home. I told her that I couldn't tag along today," she answers my question, her strong and fixed look forbidding me to look away from her.

I could tell from her gaze that she would not let go of me today anymore, and inside her clear and beautiful eyes, I could see myself: an exhausted, cowardly, idiotic, remorseful, hopeless reflection of myself.

How can she like me with those ever so clear and pretty eyes of hers? You must be blind, Hozumi-chan...

"Hozumi-chan..."

Confronted with her pure eyes, I realize that I owe her some sincerity.

"What is it?"

At this rate, she is not going to ask. She will just follow me to the Shikura middle school and she won't give up on me. She's not even thinking of giving up.

Hozumi-chan is a lovely girl. She can experience as many wonderful romances as she wants. There's no reason for her to constrict herself because of me; she could easily find a love where she can behave more freely and naturally.

I can't leave her at this.

That's why I feel that I owe her a sincere yet cruel answer to her feelings.

"I can't see you as someone of the other sex," I say. Her eyes open in response to my contextless relevation. "I never will. You will never get a special place in my heart."

"S-Senpai...?"

"My heart belongs to Shizuka alone. I'm hers from head to toe, and for all eternity. The two of us were one. You can't replace her. You can't satisfy me by any stretch. Do you finally get it? This is the kind of person I am. I will never be what you want me to be, never."

Hozumi-chan is left completely speechless and just keeps opening and closing her mouth. Insecurely she gazes at me, her head crimson, her fist clenched, and her body trembling.

Hozumi-chan is in puberty—the period of life where you are overly self-conscious and afraid to be hurt by someone, or god forbid, by someone you like.

Despite all that, I didn't keep back from hurting her so horribly.

Was there no other way? Perhaps. But I felt that only by using harsh words could I answer her strong gaze.

Hozumi-chan. Too strong feelings always lead to ruin, whether they are beautiful or hideous. Remember that.

Just look what has become of me now that Shizuka's gone.

"Do you still want to come with me, Hozumi-chan?"

The answer is obvious. I don't expect to be hearing anything from her, looking at her insecure and hurt look.

Which is why—

"I do."

Hearing a determined and quick answer struck me as way more unbelievable than the existence of Reina Kamisu.

"I do want to come with you," she repeated.

Even though she must be horribly hurt.

Even though she can barely hold her tears back.

Even though her voice is trembling hard.

And yet she managed to regain a strong light in her eyes and answered my question with a determined voice.

That moment I realized—

"Ah..."

—This was the answer I was looking for.

This is what I was supposed to do back then.

I'm buried beneath an avalanche of remorse. Unable to move and speak, all I can do is remember that day over and over. Surrounded by cold remorse.

On that day, I embraced Shizuka.

"...Don't touch me."

Until now, I thought I had committed a mistake. I thought that everything was already too late by that time.

But I was wrong.

The real mistake I made was—to let go of her.

I was supposed to keep embracing her, no matter how much she struggled to break free. I was supposed to cling to her no matter what... like Hozumi-chan did to me.

"...Don't touch me."

I gave up because of those words, in the illusion that I could not do anything to stop her tears. I fooled myself into believing that everything was too late.

I simply was a coward: I feared to be hurt any more because she'd rejected me. I pretended to share her pain when I really couldn't do what I wanted to, what I was supposed to.

I was the only one in the position to achieve something, and yet I didn't take action.

I take her cross choker out of my pocket.

I've finally realized why she'd worn this at the very end, what I was meant to do. At last.

As I hold tight of her choker, I think:

—Forgive me for not being with you all the time.

I look at the blushed girl in front of me. I misunderstood her. I thought that I was just a replaceable part in a clumsy, pubescent love story she pictured to herself. But that's not true. She's just like me.

Sadly.

"Let's go, Hozumi-chan."

She nods.

It's a shame that you still can't save me.

Because you aren't Shizuka.

Thanks to the e-mail I had given him beforehand, Yuji-kun and another boy were already waiting for us before the entrance gate when we arrived at the Shikura middle school.

"Hey."

"Hello."

As maybe expected, that boy's look turned out to be... vacant. He just gazed into space while Yuji-kun and I were greeting each other.

"And who are you?" Yuji-kun asks Hozumi-chan.

"My name is Hozumi Shiiki. I'm one grade below Toyoshina-senpai... and older than you, mind you," she adds because of his somewhat cheeky attitude toward her.

...Well, it's not that obvious if you look at your height...

I turn my attention toward the boy who may know Reina Kamisu. Upon realizing that a self-introduction is in place, he mutters without a shadow of a smile:

"I'm Atsushi Kogure."

"Frankly, I don't know anything nor would I remember if I did," Atsushi-kun starts. "I suffer from amnesia."

Amnesia? Sounds like the protagonist of some drama show.

Having heard of it so many times in fiction, I don't feel a lot of surprise even though it's the first time I'm confronted with amnesia in reality.

I give Yuji-kun a questioning look. He nods. It seems like he's telling the truth.

No wonder that his look is vacant. He is vacant in the true sense of the word.

"When did you lose your memory?" Hozumi-chan asks.

Earlier in the train, I disclosed all my thoughts to Hozumi-chan—that was my way of paying her respect—and she believed me, at least by the look of it. Believability aside, she realized that I wasn't lying to her.

"Around last month," Atsushi-kun answers indifferently.

Last month... that's around the time Shizuka's delusions got out of control.

"Unless my memory fails me, it happened between the second and third suicide case," Yuji-kun adds.

"I hear that there are different kinds of amnesia. What about yours, Atsushi-kun?"

After a short thinking pause, he answers, "I can't tell why I've lost my memory, but apart from the basic everyday knowledge like language, I've forgotten everything. At first I thought the large scar on my chest was the reason, but I heard that I've already had this when I was little."

"Did you forget your name?"

"Yes, I did."

"I see... I'll keep my fingers crossed that you regain your memory." Hozumi-chan says in an attempt to cheer him up. However, Atsushi-kun shakes his head.

She inclines her head, puzzled.

"My mother... or my aunt, to be precise, advised me not to regain my memories. Besides, I feel absolutely certain that they won't return."

"Why are you so sure?" Hozumi-chan asks, still puzzled.

"There's no actual reason. I just feel that way... I think that Atsushi Kogure died."

"Died...? But you're here, right before our eyes."

"No, I'm not exactly Atsushi Kogure. His personality died back then, and I was put into his body instead as a makeshift subtitute because the vacancy had to be filled. I'm another person. I'm just using his name for convenience's sake."

I try imagining myself without any of my memories, even without those of Shizuka.

No memories of Shizuka? That's not me. That's not Kazuaki Toyoshina, but an entirely different person.

Okay, Atsushi-kun has a point.

"All right, let me get to the point—"

"About that," Yuji-kun cuts in. "Atsushi won't admit to knowing Reina Kamisu."

"Huh, really?"

Now that he mentions it, though, it's obvious that Atsushi-kun wouldn't remember knowing Reina Kamisu if he has lost his memory, unless he met her during the short time span after that.

However, seeing the expression clued on his face, I have absolutely no doubts that he must have come in contact with her at some point in time: The blank look on his face has disappeared. Instead, he is gritting his teeth and furrowing his brow.

He definitely knows her. And the misfortune she brings.

"...Atsushi-kun. You know Reina Ka—"

"I don't," he cuts me short with a visibly bad temper.

...It doesn't look like he'll answer me this way. Let's see if I can trick him into giving me the info I need.

"Oh, I see, so it was Reina Kamisu who erased your memory," I say, provokingly.

His eyes widen for an instant! and his face becomes even grimmer. I must be near the mark.

"Okay, Atsushi-kun. One more thing—"

"I...!" he interrupts me again, shouting this time. Embarrassed by our surprised glances, he continues, "I don't remember anything. Really."

"But..."

"It's just that that name sends a chill down my spine."

"Still, your reaction isn't normal."

"Even if I did come in contact with that Reina Kamisu... no, I probably did. Or more precisely, 'Atsushi Kogure' did. But I don't know anything. Atsushi Kogure no longer exists, so leave me be! Why does everyone keep asking me those questions?!"

"Hm?" I mutter, puzzled by his concluding sentence. "Do you mean us by 'everyone'?"

"Of course. And that strange girl that suddenly talked to me the other day."

Strange girl...?

"Who are you talking about?"

"I don't know who she is! Well, not that I know anyone at all. She suddenly walked up to me and said, 'As I thought. You died, didn't you?' I guess we met somewhere before..."

As I thought. You died, didn't you?"...?

"Hozumi-chan?"

"Yes?"

"What impression would you get from Atsushi-kun if you passed by him on the street?"

"Huh? Uhm... not a special one... at most, I would feel that he's a somewhat unusual person."

"...Agreed," I nod.

Hozumi-chan's right. The girl he met was indeed strange; what she said is not something you hear a lot from strangers. Odd people like that are rare, but I remember hearing something to the same effect only recently..

It seems like that girl mistook him for a dead person; in other words, she thinks that she has the ability to perceive dead people. As ghosts? As humanoid energies?

A fit of disgust assaults me from inside my chest, sending a burning, black lump up my throat. I feel nauseated, my fingers are trembling, my eyes are burning, my throat is sore.

"Do you... know her name?" I ask as I press my hand against my chest.

"Why do you care?" Atsushi-kun snaps back.

He pisses me off.

"Just fucking tell me!" I yell, surprising not only him, but also the other two. That pisses me off just as much. "So?! Do you know her name or not?!"

"...She did tell me her name... I think she called herself Watarai, or Wakui... ah, her first name was Shizuka."

Ah—

So this is where it started?

With this, I can finally connect the dots of this warped ring.

There's no doubting it:

Shizuka became infected with "Reina Kamisu" from Atsushi-kun.

"Atsushi-kun. Spit what you know about Reina Kamisu," I urge him again.

"...I don't know anything for crying out loud."

I grab him by the collar.

"Nothing, you say? Are you shitting me?! You know her! If you don't, remember! Want me to jog your memory, eh? I hear a shock treatment works miracles?"

"C-Calm down, Toyoshina-san!" Yuji-kun urges as he grabs my arm.

"Hands off!" I yell, glaring at him.

However, he doesn't let go of my arm. He's strong. It hurts. FUCK. IT HURTS. Let go of me, jackass! I have to learn the truth about Reina Kamisu! Whatever it takes! Why would I let a little shit like you stop me?!

"S-Stop it, senpai!" Hozumi-chan grabs my arm as well.

What? You team up against me? Just when I thought you've understood me a little, Hozumi-chan. What a mistake. You're just a stranger, after all.

"Hands off, bitch!"

She lets go of me.

What?! If something like that already scares you off, then don't try to stop me from the start! Don't follow me around from the start! What?! Don't look at me with such teary eyes—

"..."

I let go of Atsushi-kun.

"—I'm sorry," I apologize. "I'm sorry!" I apologize to the three of them.

I'm despicable. Horrible.

Not only did I lose my composure just because Atsushi-kun happened to associate with Reina Kamisu and got rough with him, I also hurt Hozumi-chan again. She's never going to forget that I insulted her. She's never going to forget this temporary burst of hatred against her. With the single word "bitch" I have hurt her more than the sharpest blade could, even though I was aware of these consequences.

I'm scum. A lowlife. Trash. A maggot. I should just die.

There is a silence among us; everyone keeps their mouth shut.

What? Where are your reproaches? Cut out those looks of sympathy! They only remind me of my own foolishness...

"Toyoshina-san..." Atsushi-kun breaks the silence. "I really do not remember Reina Kamisu."

"Yeah... I believe you. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I may not remember her, but I do spot a horrifying... specter every so often for a split second."

Could it be that this is...?

"Judging by my fright, it might indeed be Reina Kamisu. However, that is all I know. The only other thing I can tell is that—"

"—she is absurdly beautiful."

—It's her, Reina Kamisu.

The specter that is following him around, and that erased Atsushi Kogure's memory, is doubtlessly Reina Kamisu.

You only get that absurd impression from her; at least, I haven't met any other people of such beauty up to now.

In other words, "Reina Kamisu" is a phenomenon that gives off the impression of being "absurdly beautiful."

She's a phenomenon that creates the exact same impression in all of us.

"...Senpai?" Hozumi-chan taps me. I bend down to her height. "Looks like the two of you met the same Reina Kamisu, doesn't it?" she whispers into my ear.

I answer with a whisper as well, "What makes you think so?"

"Well, because he got the same impression as you."

"Hozumi-chan," I start and proceed to correcting her, "It's the other way around."

"Hey, why don't you let us in on what you're whispering?" Yuji-kun interrupts us.

"Never mind," I say and turn at Atsushi-kun. "Atsushi-kun. Could you tell us what impression you got from the strange girl that talked to you?"

"...Well, I suppose you could say she was fairly pretty."

"Was she your type?"

"No, not at all," he replies without hesitating.

"Okay, so did she look anything like the specter you're afraid of?"

"...I'm pretty sure she didn't, although I can't give you my word on it."

"I see...," I mutter and give Hozumi-chan a look. She seems to be puzzled by the discrepancy of facts. "Yuji-kun? Can you tell me more about the three students who committed suicide?"

"Sure, I'll try."

"Give me as much details as possible, please."

"Hm... I didn't know them too well, though..."

"I don't mind, just tell me what you know," I reassure him.

"Okay. The first victim was Fumi Saito, a student that didn't stand out at all in class. She was falsely accused of having stolen someone's wallet, and that's probably why she eventually killed herself."

I doubt that the true reason was that straightforward, but that doesn't matter right now.

"She didn't have any friends, except for Reina Kamisu, to whom she was very close," I add.

"Though there's no proof that she really was friends with Reina Kamisu, but it seems that way judging by her statements."

"Got it. What about the second one?"

"The second victim was Kyouhei Kimura. Committed suicide because he blamed himself for Saito-san's death."

"He must have been craving for forgiveness from Saito-san. But she was death. Therefore he apologized to Reina Kamisu instead."

"...? Toyoshina-san?" Yuji-kun asks, dumbfounded.

"Never mind."

"The third victim was Yuu Mizuhara. She was involved in the suicide of the previous two students, and that fact strained her mentally to the point that she claimed that a ghost had killed the other two. She was under the delusion that she would be killed as well, and then committed suicide."

"She was cornered. She didn't want to admit the blame. That's why she resorted to making up another cause—a ghost. A ghost that is Reina Kamisu," I add yet again.

"...What's up with those comments, seriously?" Yuji-kun asks.

"Oh, just ignore them. By the way, Atsushi-kun?"

"Yes?"

"You suffered quite a lot in the past, didn't you?"

"So I heard."

"And you died. Through Reina Kamisu."

"...Maybe you can say that."

As for Shizuka... it's obvious: She was yearning for a reason for her misfortune—and had Reina Kamisu provide her with one.

They all imposed different roles on Reina Kamisu.

More importantly, I highly doubt that the appearance required from her for those roles would be the exact same in terms of stature, age, face, and so forth. And yet, both Atsushi-kun and I thought that she was "absurdly beautiful."

All right, so Reina Kamisu, as I perceive her, resembles Shizuka. I know for a fact, however, that while Shizuka certainly didn't dislike her own looks, she didn't consider herself all that pretty.

Now, what if we assumed that Reina Kamisu was the exact same person for all of us? Would we all find the same appearance "absurdly beautiful" despite the difference of tastes?

Right, as I said: It's the other way around.

She gives us the same impression only because she looks different for everyone. "Reina Kamisu" is specifically adjusted to look "absurdly beautiful" in our eyes.

Hold on, but then why—

Why is it that we all call this phenomenon "Reina Kamisu" when she appears differently for everyone?

The answer is—

"—Yuji-kun. Atsushi-kun. Let's call it a day," I say with a wave of my hand, take Hozumi-chan's hand while she's still baffled, and turn around to take my leave.

"Ah, hey, wait a sec!"

"What's the matter, Yuji-kun...?" I ask in response.

"It sounds like you found something out about this Reina Kamisu; would you mind telling us?"

"...Just silly musings, really."

"I don't mind, so...?"

I waver. If I say nothing, chances are that he will keep nagging me about it. After all, he must be terribly eager to learn the truth behind the name that keeps coming up in the recent miseries of his classmates.

And that's exactly why it's dangerous to tell him.

"I noticed that there's a fitting other word for 'Reina Kamisu.'"

"Which would be...?"

"'Angel.'"

Yuji-kun remains unimpressed.

"What noun describes a beautiful woman that appears before people who are to die? 'Angel' fits the bill nicely, no?"

"I guess so..." he says without an additional remark. He still seems discontent, but I can recognize a sign of resignation in his face.

Good. It worked. That should put a stop to his interest in my findings regarding Reina Kamisu.

"Okay then, goodbye," I say.

"Yes, goodbye. Hope to see you again sometime."

I briefly wave my hand toward them. Yuji-kun waves back but Atsushi-kun has already turned away from me.

Atsushi Kogure.

Could you say that he got away with a black eye? Or did he die as he said himself?

Anyway. An 'angel' I called her...?

What a laughable yet strangely fitting simile. If she showed up with a halo above her head and a pair of wings on her back, I might actually believe that blatant lie myself. It would be so much easier if I just went with that and quit thinking.

"Senpai..." Hozumi-chan suddenly starts to speak after a while. I already knew what she was going to ask. "Can you tell me the truth?"

And then I regretted revealing everything to her earlier in the train.

=== 4 ===

Names.

"TV", "tissue", "contact lenses", "dog", "baseball", "banana", "cloud", "atom", "light", "Ukraine", "Hozumi Shiiki", "Reina Kamisu".

They're all just terms given to objects for convenience's sake. The convenience of using them is not their only purpose, however; names bind concepts, they shape concepts, they draw attention to concepts, and they bring them to life.

"Reina Kamisu"—a multifarious phenomenon that kills her observers.

That is how I define "Reina Kamisu", while ignoring the lack of evidence, reasoning and common sense.

Well, well, there is one question that presents itself: While it is still acceptable to say that this phenomenon assumes different roles and eventually kills whoever perceives her, there is absolutely no justification to link the phenomenon to the name "Reina Kamisu". However, even though the phenomenon varies for everyone, we all call it by the same name without any hesitation or doubt. She never called herself that, either.

I take the stairs to the second floor and notice Hozumi-chan standing by the door to my classroom. As I approach her, she notices me as well and we greet each other.

"Senpai. I brooded all night over your hypothesis," she immediately gets to the point. "As you said, the victims were already aware of the name 'Reina Kamisu'. The name comes first. Saito-san and Kogure-kun and Kimura-kun and Mizuhara-san and Wakui-senpai and your paths have all crossed somewhere. Which means that you all had the opportunity to learn the name 'Reina Kamisu'. I agree with the conclusion that you've drawn from that, Senpai."

"—You become infected with Reina Kamisu by learning her name."

I nod.

"I'm sorry," I apologize.

Hozumi-chan shakes her head, "Don't worry. I wished for it myself."

Right—I made the mistake of telling her the name of "Reina Kamisu". I was careless. I seem to be constantly giving her trouble.

That being said, I'm pretty sure that learning Reina Kamisu's name alone does not automatically make her visible to you. This is supported by the fact that she hasn't shown up in front of Yuji-kun and his classmates even though they've heard her name.

There must be some sort of condition. As a matter of fact, the reason why I wanted Yuji-kun to lose interest in the matter was to prevent him from accidentally fulfilling that unknown condition. Wake not a sleeping lion (Reina Kamisu). The best protection against Reina Kamisu is losing one's interest in her.

"Senpai," Hozumi-chan says with eyes that let me foresee what she's going to say. "Let me warn you: it's useless to try telling me to back out of this matter."

As I expected.

"...I won't," I mutter, and she responds with a happy smile.

Geez...

"Oh, Yoshinon!" she calls out, still smiling brightly. Her eyes are directed at Yoshino-chan who is trotting toward us. "Morning Yoshinon!"

"Morning, Hozumi-chan," she replies.

"Hey," I greet her as well.

"G-Good morning... Toyoshina-senpai."

Again that difference in attitude.

"What's the matter, Yoshinon?"

"Ah, er, I only saw your bag when I went to our classroom, so I thought you might be here." With these words, Yoshino-chan scours her own bag and takes out something resembling a massive book.

With a blushing face, she holds it out to me.

"Hm?"

On a closer look it seems to be a graduation album.

"Um... I sneaked into my sister's room and borrowed her graduation album..."

Now that she mentions it; I completely forgot that I asked her to bring her sister's album from her time at the Junseiwa School.

"You're a master thief, Yoshinon!" Hozumi-chan jokes.

"Ew... she wouldn't have allowed me to take it otherwise... Um, Toyoshina-senpai, may I ask you to return it to me in the course of the day?"

"Yeah, fine by me. Sorry for bothering you," I apologize to her.

"A, n-no! It was a pleasure!"

It was...? Oh, I should just be thankful.

"All right... I guess I'm off to the library. I want to take a look."

"Huh? What about school?" Hozumi-chan asks, surprised.

"To be honest, I don't have time for that now."

After hearing my response, she (somewhat unsurprisingly) counters, "I'm going with you!"

"...Are you sure?" Yoshino-chan asks.

"Of course. I'm sorry, but can you tell them that I've overslept or something?"

"...Okay, I got it."

Since I'm well aware that it's no use trying to persuade Hozumi-chan, I keep out of their exchange of words.

"Okay, let's go senpai."

"Got it."

After saying goodbye to Yoshino-chan, we head together to the library room. As we walk there, I sneak a peek at the thick album.

Well, I don't expect us to discover anything in this album. It's unlikely that the group suicide over there is connected to Reina Kamisu in any way. Even if she were, I would be surprised to find anything valuable in an album.

However—I was entirely wrong.

Within a mere 5 minutes after taking a seat next to each other, we spotted something.

The heart of the graduation album, the group picture of all members of the class, contained several parts that differed significantly from the rest in terms of size, exposure, background, and so on.

Because of our prior knowledge we can tell why that is. Most if not all of these parts belong to—

—the suicide victims.

"Senpai?"

"Hm?"

"I don't want to sound silly, but..."

"Yeah?"

"Aren't there too many pretty girls over there at the Junseiwa School? I'm kind of jealous."

Honestly speaking, I was too focused on the disagreeing parts to notice. Now that she mentions it, though, I can see that there are indeed a lot of pretty girls in the photo.

"Not only wealthy but also cute and clever... that sure makes me doubt if God really doesn't give with both hands, as the saying goes," she comments.

"I don't think that you need to hide, though, Hozumi-chan."

"Ah, don't mind me. You don't have to pay me lip-service."

That wasn't meant as lip-service.

"Anyway, it's only normal that there would be lot of pretty girls at a renowned all girls' school," I say.

"Why? Because only those sorts of girls aim for such a school?"

"I suppose that's not exactly wrong, either, but consider this: looks are heavily influenced by the genes of one's parents, right?"

"Yes, so?"

"And here's the point: Bigwigs almost exclusively get themselves beautiful wives," I conclude.

Hozumi-chan claps her hands together once.

"The scales fell from my eyes."

You actually wondered about it?

I decide to let her be and flip the page.

—I stop midway.

"What's the—" Hozumi-chan asks, only to cut off when she sees the picture I found.

I continue in a mutter in her place.

"—Reina Kamisu."

That name is written there indeed, but we would have held our breath—and be enchanted—either way.

Because the student depicted—

"—It's almost absurd how beautiful she is," Hozumi-chan remarks.

Precisely. She stands out even among the many other pretty faces. If one were to compare her with a diamond, the other students would be crude stones in comparison. As much as I hesitate to admit it, Hozumi-chan wouldn't leave the slightest impression on me if she stood next to the girl in that picture.

For a while, I am completely taken aback by the photograph and the sheer beauty of the Reina Kamisu in it.

But in reality, that isn't of any import; the picture poses a problem that is much more severe.

"I don't get it... why can we see Reina Kamisu in this picture?"

Hozumi-chan gives me a puzzled glance.

"Reina Kamisu is just a phenomenon. She does not possess a body."

"...Maybe she shows in pictures?"

"Even if that were true, she wouldn't get an entry in an album unless someone actually perceived her."

"Which means that..."

I look at the picture again.

She does not resemble Shizuka; but she does resemble the "Reina Kamisu" I know.

"I think we're on the same track, Hozumi-chan."

"Yes..."

"Most likely—"

Those two Reina Kamisus are not equivalent to each other; that's clear just from their looks.

They are, however, both absurdly beautiful.

"—the Reina Kamisu in this picture is a human."

In the end, we didn't attend our classes and instead went straight to Yoshino-chan's address without any notice to her; we wanted to question her sister about Reina Kamisu.

How come the girl in that picture was also called "Reina Kamisu"?

It might be just a coincidence; that would be the most plausible explanation.

The name given to the phenomenon might just have happened to match that of an existing person. But then again, Reina Kamisu is by no means a common name. Moreover, the real person is brought into connection with a group suicide, while the phenomenon entices into suicide, and on top of that, they're both absurdly beautiful and look alike. That's about as crazy as pulling off two royal straight flushes in a row at the beginning of a poker match, but still more down-to-earth than winning the lottery jackpot.

However, I don't know about Hozumi-chan, but at least I discarded that possibility rather quickly.

Because I've actually seen "Reina Kamisu".

I'm certain that anyone who has seen her will agree with me: There is a definite link between the girl in that picture and the phenomenon that shares her name. That's more certain than that bull dogs and chihuahuas are of the same species.

"By the way, the buildings around here are quite something, aren't they?" I say with astonishment.

"I was surprised, too, when I first visited Yoshinon. Would you believe me if I told you that her mom showed up with a Porsche to fetch us?"

"A Porsche? Not bad."

"But Yoshinon's still normal; I heard that a large part of the households in this vicinity have their own limousines and drivers."

Limousines, hm? Sounds like a distant world to me.

Now why would so many inhabitants of that comfy distant world end their lives? They were blessed with both wealth and beauty, and must have been devoid of worries. They had everything that is needed for a happy life.

However, "happiness" is entirely subjective.

A single issue can be perfectly enough for an individual to become unhappy. For example, if the boy or girl you fancy gives you the cold shoulder, you might feel hapless even in a blessed environment. Such an environment amounts to nothing when it comes to fending off the feeling of misfortune.

Therefore, if there was a cause of some kind, it's entirely possible that even an inhabitant of that distant world committed suicide.

—Reina Kamisu. Did you create that cause? Will you seduce me into suicide as well, as you did with the students of the Shikura middle school?

How?

I try to recall "Reina Kamisu" as I remember her; an absurdly beautiful girl that resembles Shizuka.

What is the role I give to Reina Kamisu? What do I need? Who do I need?

Hm?

—Who do I need?

"———"

Reina Kamisu: a phenomenon that takes on various roles. Who resembles Shizuka.

"Senpai? What's wrong?" Hozumi-chan asks because I suddenly stopped.

Who do I need?

The answer's obvious: Shizuka. I only need Shizuka.

Having finally found the puzzle piece I was looking for, my rusty faculty of thought is set in motion again and starts to restlessly hunt down answers. Answers, answers, answers... the answers I seek sum up like a snowball.

This leaves me with one more thing that I need: confirmation. Something to prove my answers.

I see.

I see now! I found out, Reina Kamisu!

I raise my head with conviction.

As I thought.

Behind Hozumi-chan, next to a house that looks like a pompous show house exhibition—

—I see Reina Kamisu.

"I see. So we only have to wish for her to show up. Because—"

I put on a grin.

"—Reina Kamisu is here."

I walk past Hozumi-chan and head toward Reina Kamisu.

"Senpai!" she shouts out, visibly anxious about my strange behavior.

"Stay away! You must stay away!" I command her as I turn around and scowl at her.

She steps back because of my hard tone.

Yes, that's the spirit.

I do not care about Hozumi-chan anymore. She's no longer needed.

"Don't get in my way!" Leave us alone.

This is what I wished.

This is what I wished Reina Kamisu to be.

"I missed you, Reina Kamisu," I say as I catch her in a dark back street.

She responds with a smile—an absurdly beautiful smile, much like Shizuka's.

"Let's begin with the reason why I didn't notice you up to now, shall we?"

Reina Kamisu listens silently to me.

"You are a phenomenon that only becomes perceivable by us becoming aware of your existence. There seem to be multiple requirements for that, like knowing your name, but it's safe to assume that I've fulfilled those, since I've seen you once before. Then why is that I haven't been able to see you ever since?"

I am almost glaring at her as I continue.

"It's because I started to consider you a phenomenon."

Her cheeks move slightly, but apart from that she stays absolutely silent.

"When assessing a mysterious phenomenon like you from a perspective that is grounded on common sense—and only then—it becomes impossible to admit your existence. Basically, common sense imposed a filter on me that operated in my subconsciousness and prevented your data from getting to me. In order to perceive you nonetheless, it's thus necessary to either remove that filter or to shift one's perception of you to something different from a phenomenon."

This time around, Reina Kamisu gives me a clear response. She nods.

"You appeared before me with a certain role. I am aware of that role by now. One part of it is to help me arrive at the answer I was looking for," I explain while thinking back at the burning question that plagued me at the time of our first encounter. "But let me ask you something first: Who is that Reina Kamisu in the picture I saw? How is she related to you?"

"She's a person called 'Reina Kamisu'."

I heard her voice for the first time; it's as beautiful as expected.

"Is she someone else than you?"

"Yes, I suppose she is. In the sense of being a different being."

"What to you mean by different being?"

She replies to my question with a smile, "She is what you might call my roots, you know."

"Your roots...?"

Seeing that I can't quite follow her, she expands on her explanation, "...Why do you think I was given the name of 'Reina Kamisu'?"

I consider her question. The phenomenon said that the person was her roots, her origin. In other words, the person named Reina Kamisu existed first? So the phenomenon came to be only recently? That doesn't sound plausible to me. I feel that the phenomenon she represents has always existed, just without anyone finding a way to perceive her—

"—Oh, I got it."

"Did you?"

"Your name made you perceivable, just like we become explicitly aware of the concept of air by giving it the name 'air'. Put another way, the phenomenon Reina Kamisu exists because we gave it that name."

"Exactly."

That explains why she spreads through her name.

"But why 'Reina Kamisu' of all names? Was there no alternative?"

If the Reina Kamisu in that album was a normal person, then there is no reason why "Shizuka Wakui" or "Hozumi Shiiki" or "Yoshino Mitsui" couldn't serve as a namesake.

"That's because her existence was singularly close to mine."

"Close...? Do you mean you blended into other people's perception of her? Similar to how a non-technical person won't be able to differentiate between a computer screen and a TV?"

"You've guessed right."

"But then... in what way did the human Reina Kamisu resemble you? In the way that she also caused others to commit suicide?" I ask.

"That's not correct. When people correctly perceive me, they tend to despair. I'm not responsible for that."

"Then what else makes her similar to you?"

"Just look at me. It's our outward appearance."

"Your appearance?" I frown. "I admit that the photo of your human counterpart resembled you, but your appearance is variable. It changes depending on the observer. It's not possible to resemble something that doesn't maintain its shape."

"But you just admitted that we resembled each other, didn't you?"

My eyes widen. I nod.

"Let me summarize," I say.

"Don't let me stop you."

"You're beautiful. Absurdly beautiful."

"Thank you."

"And that's also the impression you make on everyone as a phenomenon."

"That's not quite correct," she argues.

"What do you mean...?"

"I don't give off an impression of beauty. I am beauty itself."

"...I'm afraid you lost me."

"Have you ever heard of the Theory of Forms?"

"I'm familiar with the name, but I don't know what it means exactly."

"For example, take an elephant and picture it to yourself."

I do as she told me and imagine an elephant. The first thing that comes to mind is its long trunk, followed by a picture of its large ears and tusks. The elephant is big and gray and has thick skin. It uses its trunk skilfully to pick food.

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"So where did your image of an elephant come from?"

"Where from...?"

Of course from the information stored in my brain. However, it's impossible for me to tell from which elephant exactly that impression originates. It might be one of the elephants I've seen in the zoo in my childhood, or it might be one from the TV or a book, or perhaps even from someone's description of an elephant.

"All right," she continues, "now imagine you saw an elephant right before you. Would you recognize it as one?"

"Most certainly."

"All right," she says, "now imagine you saw a beautiful person right before you. Would you deem her beautiful?"

I sneak a peek at Reina Kamisu.

"Of course."

"But how do you decide whether or not a beautiful person is beautiful?"

"By—" I pause to consider the hint she's given me. "—comparing her to my image of a beautiful person and see how close she is, maybe?"

"Correct."

...So is it like this...?

"Reina Kamisu, you are my very image of a 'beautiful person.'"

"Right, I am your archetype of beauty. That's why I look more beautiful to you than anyone else."

I see, that's why Reina Kamisu resembles Shizuka; after all, Shizuka constitutes a great deal of my image of a beautiful girl.

Okay, it looks like I was slightly wrong with my original hypothesis. I thought that Reina Kamisu's resemblance to Shizuka originated from her second role to me.

"My existence is detached from space and time, and is to be found in the world of Forms. Not that the Theory of Forms expresses precisely what I am, but it's close enough. I'm only using this term because there is no other name for it, just like there is no other name for me. But I do indeed exist on the back side—or front side!—seen from you."

"In other words... you live in another world?"

"I don't know if it's really another world, but I suppose for the current mankind, who only believe what they see, it actually is another world. My being is entirely dependent on you, so if you define me as non-existent, then there is no world for me to live in. What will never change, however, is that I do exist."

"...I think I roughly understand what you are. But then I have a hard time comprehending how the girl in that picture could resemble you."

"Why don't you try to reverse the equation?"

"Reverse?"

"Don't think that Reina Kamisu resembles me—think that I resemble Reina Kamisu."

I don't get it. Isn't that exactly the same thing, except for the order?

Except for the order...?

The Reina Kamisu in the picture was a real person, and therefore had a constant appearance. The Reina Kamisu in front of my eyes, on the other hand, changes her visuals depending on the observer.

The human "Reina Kamisu" had an appearance that nearly everyone would find to be beautiful. That said, so many men, so many minds. In theory, it's perfectly possible that she's ugly in someone's eyes.

The phenomenon, however, must absolutely always be absurdly beautiful. That's her definition.

To rephrase this: there might be a person who considers the person "Reina Kamisu" as ugly, but the phenomenon as beautiful.

The reverse is impossible.

If I combine that fact with the fact that both the phenomenon and the person look absurdly beautiful, and similar, in my eyes...

"Don't tell me—"

I already knew that there was another condition apart from knowing her name. Those conditions are necessary to mix up the human Reina Kamisu and the phenomenon.

In other words, people whose image of beauty does not match the looks of the human Reina Kamisu are not able to mix those two up.

Put the other way—

"Only people whose image of beauty does almost precisely match the looks of your human counterpart are able mix you two up and create a link between the name and the phenomenon."

That is the second condition.

Reina Kamisu nods and adds to my explanation, "And as you mentioned beforehand, I will appear besides everyone who longs strongly enough for me, or more precisely for a replacement of somebody, to override the filter that is their common sense."

"But most people will eventually regain their common sense," I continue her intent, "and become unable to place you in the role they gave you. Which means that they will either lose what was vital to them, or despair because they notice that what they believed in was fake. And as a consequence—"

"—they are likely to commit suicide."

Reina Kamisu—so far I considered her evil in itself.

But I was wrong.

She is neither good nor evil; she just exists. She is just a purposeless phenomenon that is forced to appear whenever she is given a name.

That is the truth behind Reina Kamisu.

"Kazuaki Toyoshina," she says and I raise my head. "What role do you give me?" she asks with a smile resembling Shizuka's.

"...You planning to give me false hopes, just to make me despair in the face of the truth?"

"Perhaps. But you're not like the others, are you?"

"Not like the others? How so?"

"You are able to perceive me even though you realized that I'm a phenomenon. That's a remarkable difference, isn't it?"

That's true...

I'm already aware of what she really is. I'm not like the others who fell into despair as they approached the truth behind her being. The way to salvation is not going to abruptly break off.

If I give her the role of the person I crave for, I will be able to wallow in a soft dream.

Shizuka does not exist in this world anymore.

Then what should be my decision—?

My decision?

There's nothing to waver.

I, I—

I take the cross choker out of my pocket. I've already noticed what I'm supposed to use it for.

I take a step toward Reina Kamisu.

I won't return. I don't need to.

My final step—

"...Senpai."

—is stopped by that voice.

Didn't I tell you to stay away? To not get in my way?!

I turn around and glare at Hozumi Shiiki.

Though unsettled by the anger in my look, she continues to speak, "...Who were you talking to, Senpai?"

I don't answer her.

So at the end of the day, she won't recognize what's important for me; she won't take take the same path no matter how much she feels attached to me. She isn't worth much to me: neither is she able to substitute Shizuka, nor is she able to make up for her in the slightest.

"Reina Kamisu. Let's meet up tomorrow."

"...Where?"

"That place. I'm sure you understand, right?"

Reina Kamisu smiles at me.

"Senpai..."

I ignore Hozumi-chan again. Instead I take the graduation album out of my bag and hand it to her, "Return this to Yoshino-chan, okay?"

Wih these words I turn away from her.

"Senpai!" she calls out to me from behind. "I... I... what... what do I have to do?! What do I have to do... to walk the same path as—"

"Hozumi-chan," I interrupt her. "Stop bothering me or—"

With my back turned toward her,

"—I will kill you." I spit words of rejection.

I walk away.

I throw everything away.

I throw away even the foolish but gentle girl who has treated me ever so warmly.

I can no longer see anything.

I can no longer hear anything.

Therefore I can absolutely not hear the weeping behind me either.

===5===

"Let's get married when we've grown up."

That's the typical promise made between two childhood friends. You hear it so often in manga or anime or games and so forth that it's become a cliché. It's the most straightforward way to ensure an unbreakable bond between the protagonist and the heroine.

But in real life there is no meaning in such a promise.

When we grow up, we don't remember those childish promises anyway, and even if we do, they have long since expired because we didn't even know the real meaning of marriage. Only a hopeless fool would take that proposal seriously and ask a girl out on that pretext. Even if two childhood friends date each other, a promise like that does not count as a memory but as a funny story.

We are constantly growing up, leaving behind the past. Therefore, it's essential to always live in the same time as the other party in order to keep such a promise intact.

At the beginning, neither of the two might know what the difference between boys and girls is, and what it means to get married or to become a couple. From there, they have to keep walking and growing up together, and they will slowly but surely come to understand what it means to find a partner for life. When they do that and still continue to treasure the promise of getting married when they've grown up—and only then—that promise acquires significance.

I consider that a miracle. It's impossible not to withdraw such a promise after getting to know every good and bad trait of the other party, or the dirty differences between boys and girls, or the appeal of the other sex. Maybe they become aware of their feelings for each other after parting ways once to find themselves other partners, but it's impossible to constantly hold the belief of belonging together and getting married. I am positive that it's safe to say that such a thing is impossible. That's why I consider it a miracle.

And our relationship was founded on such a miracle.

Though made possible only because of a narrow view and foolishness, I felt quite comfortable with that kind of relationship.

It was extremely dear to me.

With those thoughts in mind, I look around our park.

Here we sat together in a swing. Here we unsuccessfully tried to build a tunnel with sand. Here we did our first forward upward circling on the horizontal bar. The jungle gym I fell from has been removed by now, but this place is still doubtlessly the park that we considered ours.

This is where I spent time with the little Shizuka.

This park shaped us, protected us, and—destroyed us.

Yeah, that's right.

Even the dearest of places may stab you in the back.

Yeah, that's right.

Reality treats saints and sinners all alike, attacking them mechanically, randomly, without any consideration and selection.

Yeah, that's right.

Anything and everything in this world with the exception of Shizuka betrays me.

I feel the content of my pocket with my hand. The cross choker is there. I'm fine.

I close my eyes. Because I don't want to see.

I cover my ears. Because I don't want to hear.

I close myself to the world. Because I don't want to believe.

There is only one thing I need to see now: the phenomenon that exists around me with an appearance similar to Shizuka's.

Reina Kamisu is waiting for me at the center of the park.

"Are you done saying goodbye to your friends?" she asks.

"There is no one I have to say goodbye to."

"I see..." she notes with a slightly sad smile.

"There is someone I need," I say with averted eyes.

"I know."

"I'm helpless without her. I can't move on at this rate."

"...I know."

"I do absolutely and unconditionally need Shizuka Wakui."

"...I know."

As I turn to her, I ask, "Do you also have a person who you need?"

After a short pause, Reina Kamisu replies, "I suppose that would be you, Kazuaki Toyoshina."

"...I see. You're right. You're dependent on me, after all."

"...That's also part of the reason."

"Also?"

"I assume it's due to the role that you gave me, but I seem to... be extremely fond of you. I can't help wanting to be by your side."

"...Do you possess feelings?" I ask her.

"I do!"

"But... those were conceived by me."

"Yes, but they are not false... or would you call feelings that someone created in you false?"

I answer with a weak smile, "I wouldn't."

"Right? I do feel the same as a common human when I manifest in front of you, even though I may purely be an idea."

"Even though you exist solely for the sake of someone else?"

"Yes."

To be honest, I think that we may resemble each other. I was dependent on Shizuka, too, and lost my place to be when she died.

"We're much alike," I say aloud.

"...I suppose you're right. We'll get along just fine," Reina Kamisu smiles at me. "I only exist to fulfill the role you gave to me. I will become who you need and stay by your side."

"...As my lover?"

"Yes. We will walk side by side for all eternity. You will abandon this world and only concern yourself with me. I know that this is your wish. That this is your happiness."

"You're absolutely right."

With those words, I take the choker out of my pocket.

"That's a lovely choker," she remarks.

I silently put the chocker that Shizuka wore at the very end around Reina Kamisu's neck.

"How is it?"

I gaze at her without letting go of the choker, and reply:

"It looks great on you."

Upon hearing my answer, Reina Kamisu,who resembles Shizuka, smiles.

Suddenly, I wonder where I will be going. Where Reina Kamisu will be guiding me.

I turn my attention at her again; the choker suits her greatly.

I remember ordering it on the Internet because I was too embarrassed to enter a jeweler's shop. I was astonished when I noticed that the actual thing looked quite different from the pictures, but Shizuka loved my present nonetheless.

When she put it on, she laughed and joked, "Maybe I'm a bit too young for this?" I then told her not to strain herself, but she assured me that she wanted to wear it.

It's a shame, but the choker did not suit her.

I still won't let go of the choker.

"...Kazuaki?"

Oh boy, God remains cruel to me.

"Don't call me that!" I shout.

"Eh?"

Reina Kamisu has feelings and is attracted to me on top of that. She's no different from a human.

"Otherwise it would sound like Shizuka were calling my name, no?"

But I'm the one who set up this scene. I wished all this.

"What do you mean...?" she asks.

It's what I wished for in order to win.

"—You are Reina Kamisu and no one else!"

At her last hour Shizuka wore this choker. It never really suited her. It was a token of our love.

And with this choker, I—

—strangle Reina Kamisu.

At once, her beautiful face that resembles Shizuka's distorts with pain.

"...Wh...y...?"

Despair shows in her face.

"Don't you get it?" I ask without loosening the choker. "You can't become Shizuka, nor can you replace her. You can't satisfy me by any stretch. Being similar to her is by far not enough. If you really were to replace her, you would've had to be as alike as two peas in a pod."

"...B-But... but then... what is my role...?"

"The answer is staring you in the face."

I strangle Reina Kamisu's neck so hard that she can no longer say a word. She moans painfully.

"If your role isn't to be my lover and substitute for Shizuka, then it's your role to be—"

"—my enemy!"

Reina Kamisu. I will never forgive you.

I detest the enemy that tormented Shizuka and me.

I detest the park that betrayed us.

I detest the fate that left us with this outcome.

I detest all those non-existent enemies.

That's why I give that role to you, Reina Kamisu.

That detestable role belongs to you.

"Reina Kamisu, you are—"

"—a monster that must die."

Reina Kamisu.

You may be a phenomenon—an intangible phenomenon—but I can still kill you.

Don't you agree?

After all, enemies exist—

—to be killed.

"Die."

I don't care if the entire world gets distorted by the erasure of Reina Kamisu.

I don't care if killing her solves nothing.

It will make nobody happy, not even me.

I'll do it only for me as I go to hell, because it's the only thing I can do.

I will—

"Please, die already!"

—kill Reina Kamisu.

I can clearly feel her neck as I strangle her. The sensation of killing; the realization that her life drains.

I can clearly feel it.

I feel something dwindle away. Maybe it's something that's insignificant to others, something invisible, but my gut feeling rings an alarm bell.

But as much as I try to catch it, it will just run through my fingers.

Whatever it is, it cannot be made undone. Never.

And before I know it, I have arrived where Reina Kamisu was supposed to guide me.

Reina Kamisu—is no more.

The choker has split apart.

...I don't care anymore.

There is no enemy anymore.

There is no Reina Kamisu anymore.

Reina Kamisu is nowhere.

I return from the boundary of worlds and I find myself in another unfamiliar world.

It's the normal, rational, empty world, which I'm supposed to know only too well. Yet, this world strikes me as unfamiliar.

But it's reality. The hard truth.

Therefore, the sight before my eyes is real.

"Why didn't you listen to me?"

I assigned Reina Kamisu the role of my enemy; but in order to confront and have her fulfill that role, there was a need for me to unlock the filter of my common sense.

That's why I closed my eyes, covered my ears and closed myself to the world. I needed to warp the original data into shape.

My enemy.

My memory was manipulated so that I would kill my enemy, Reina Kamisu, by manipulating the flow of information in a way that would present her death as my first priority. The system revolves entirely around her role.

Reina Kamisu is a phenomenon.

She can't physically kill anyone, and no one can physically kill her.

But Reina Kamisu was my enemy.

She had to be killed. I had to physically experience the sensation of murdering her. There was a need to feel her death with my own hands.

As a result...

Didn't I warn you?

—That's why I told you to stay away from me.

"Hozumi-chan."

I look down at her. Her face is so distorted with pain that it's painful to look at it directly—and yet there is an undeniable glimmer of satisfaction in her face.

Why?!

It's enough if Reina Kamisu takes on others' roles, so why did you think of taking on the role of Reina Kamisu?

Was keeping up contact with me so important to you? Did you prefer opposing me over being left behind?

You're incomprehensible, Hozumi-chan!

I, yes I, am only concerned with Shizuka and no one else. You can't become Shizuka, nor can you replace her. You can't satisfy me by any stretch.

Why did would you want to stick to a guy like me to the bitter end...?

It's a shame. Really. You were so close.

You almost managed to change me—

I look up at the sky as I feel that my fight is over.

Hey Shizuka, I won!

I won against Reina Kamisu and Hozumi Shiiki!

I will continue to love you!

But I feel lonely. Incredibly lonely.

There's no one by my side. I don't allow anyone to be.

I'm sure that it will stay that way, with me continuing to remain here.

Someone, please.

Please, anyone, warm me up.

But I won't allow anyone to do that.

Shizuka. Shizuka.

I don't care if you're a ghost, or a fake, or a humanoid energy even.

Don't leave me alone.

But Reina Kamisu is no more.

The being that could replace you is no more.

She is not here anymore.

I'm all alone.

The only thing left to me is—the invaluable symbol of Shizuka and my connection.

The cross choker I gave to her. No—

—the remnants of it.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Shizuka Wakui|Chapter 3]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Shizuka Wakui

2017-01-06T17:42:52Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* 2 */

==Chapter 3: Shizuka Wakui==
===1===

While letting the broken Engrish of our over 50-year-old English teacher in at one ear and out at the other after about 3 seconds, I look up terms on my electronic Kojien dictionary.

principle of mass conservation [n] 
A principle in classical physics stating that the total mass of an isolated system is unchanged by interaction of its parts. Discovered in 1774 by Antoine Lavoisier.

principle [n]
# A basic truth, law, or assumption.
# A basic or essential quality or element determining intrinsic nature or characteristic behavior.

The mechanics of the world are surprisingly simple.

There must be lots of those basic and essential qualities, scattered all around the world, but if you divide them even further into their most essential parts, the absolute number of distinct qualities shrinks to a number that's everything but high.

Did you know that many laws and principles are just augmented rehashes of a set of already known core principles?

More often than not, you end up at the same place no matter from which side you approach the nature of things. That's also why the teachings of people who have mastered a way often coincide even though their ways have nothing in common.

In other words, if you understand some of those core principles, you start to see how the mechanics of the world work.

Core principles are the essence of things. Understand them and you can apply them wherever you want and form new, unshakable laws. Cores attract everything around them just like magnets.

But no one else really knows; they all grow up to be shallow people, only ever looking at the surfaces instead of the underlying cores. They let others influence themselves because their understanding only scratches the surface. They can't consider the true nature of things on their own. Poor people. All it would take to acquire those cores is picking up a good book. Oh, or is there a set of requirements that need to be fulfilled, which I happened to do? I pity them even more, then. It's as though they were characters of a manga fighting each other, unaware of what they are. Even though they fight for no purpose other than their writer's household. Even though their conflict is just a figment, and their very existence is for the sake of fighting.

Anyway, one of those few truths goes by the name of "mass conversion."

Contrary to its name, it's not limited to mass; the amount of everything is bound to a certain number that neither grows nor shrinks. Everything's unchanging, be it mass, energy, sex drive, the number of souls—you name it.

The lesson ended while I was absorbed in thought, gazing at my electronic dictionary. Classes are finally over. I have better things to do than this. But I can't just deviate from my usual behavior and skip school. I mustn't let anyone get wind of what I'm doing; if I appear suspicious, it becomes more likely that someone will notice it. Before anyone else, especially—

"Phew, done for the day! Shizuka, wanna tag along somewhere today?"

Before anyone else, that easy-going boy, Kazuaki, might notice. Which is because we have spent too much time together from an early age on.

"I'll pass," I reply toward the adjacent seat.

"Oh come on... you're so cold," my childhood friend says as he purses his lips. Geez... he just won't change.

"I've got something to take care of, you see."

"You've been saying that all the time lately... you're not trying to avoid me, are you?" Kazuaki asks as he wrinkles his brow. Oh dear, he really doesn't change.

"Of course not!"

"Uh-huh...," he mutters downheartedly.

"Why don't you go home with the C2 duo if you're feeling lonely?"

"T-There's nothing between me and—" he counters in denial with a slightly flushed face.

"Senpai~!"

"H-Hozumi-chan... don't be so loud, it's embarrassing..."

His objection is cut off from afar by two girl voices. With the appearance of those two innocent-looking girls, I wave my hand to Kazuaki.

"See you."

"Ah..."

Don't look at me like that; I'm not leaving you behind because I want to. As soon as I've sorted this out, I'll tag along whenever you want.

But that has to wait, okay?

The world is at stake, after all.

Unconcerned by the waves of students heading homeward, I look around in thought.

The world is in danger.

Maybe that's an exaggeration. But in the very least, danger is looming ahead in this vicinity. I hoped I was wrong (which was out of question, of course, but I wanted to be wrong) but with the news that 3 students at the Shikura middle school committed suicide, my fear proved true.

We're in imminent danger.

And here we return to the thing about core principles and conservation of mass.

I used to be a completely normal girl; I may have hit puberty earlier than others, and have received dozens of confessions already, and I primarily hanged around with Kazuaki instead of other girls, but apart from that, I was a completely normal girl.

I'm using the past tense here because I feel that this no longer holds true.

There is a number of truths (cores). By getting to know these, I learned how I'm supposed to look at things.

It didn't take long for me to hit upon a certain question. We all have feelings. Joy, anger, sadness, fun.

Now, let's apply the law of conservation of mass to this case. Emotions are energy, which, especially in the case of love and hatred, store extreme heat. We consume emotional energy by converting it into energy that keeps us moving. However, not all of our feelings are always converted and consumed. But then where does the energy go when we are unable to suppress our feelings? Most of all, where does the energy go when we die—which must be a tremendous amount when faced with a violent death—when it can't possibly be consumed? Where does that energy fade away to?

With that question in mind, I started to pay attention.

Before long, I found the answer: the energy doesn't disappear at all. The answer was right under my nose, on the other side. Strong feelings, to raise an example, which often happen to be grudges, surface slightly on our side from time to time. It's dead easy to observe when you clear yourself for a moment and float up. Look, there's one. There's an accumulation of converted emotional energy. In most cases, those accumulations are shaped like a human.

Anyway, back to the danger the world is facing.

After becoming aware of those humanoid energies, I observed a peculiar change as of late.

Originally, those humanoid energies were unable to move by themselves, and completely harmless for people who didn't notice them; they would just stay put at one place and spread their network in order to influence whatever got caught in there.

Lately, however, they changed their behavior and started to shimmer like mirages. As if afraid of something or in ecstasy? I can't tell. What I can tell, however, is that it's not normal and that it's a sign for something to happen.

I don't know what the humanoid energies will do, how that will affect us, and what will happen, but there is one fact:

Three students died at the Shikura middle school.

But that's of no import. Well, of course it's very deplorable that their lives were lost, but in the face of the great menace that might be ahead of us, even a loss like that turns insignificant.

Three people died. What if... what if that was just a sign?

If, hypothetically speaking, this phenomenon was due to a natural circumstance, I would probably have to give up and let things take their way. Besides, we would just have to take cover and wait for the menace to pass by.

However—what if someone is pulling the wires behind the scenes?

It's not that I take issue with that ethically, no. What if we are not dealing with a random phenomenon, but with one that is deliberately called forth by someone? What if there is someone who can use that power whenever he wants? What if there is someone who can control all the humanoid energies that are likely to be spread all over the world?

That's what I fear.

After all, if my concerns prove true and that really was a man-made incident, he could endanger the life of everyone in the world.

The world is in danger.

Someone is scheming to ruin us all; someone evil like that is among us. And I have to track that person down.

That's why I've been closely observing the humanoid energies around me for a while.

{Volcano goes up to the 2nd floor of a black minus to eat warmed-up food and falls.}

{I want to eat the lucky meat that died ten times but resurrected a hundred times.}

{I throw a telephone receiver into a 4-dimensional pocket because the trash bin is full.}

{The unrivaled adventures of Hutch the Honeybee are living tourmalines.}

As they shimmer, the energies give off signals on a different wavelength that, while barely converted into my language, make no sense whatsoever.

However, I can make out a difference in volume.

Slowly but surely, their voices (?) grow louder and their flickering stronger.

Maybe I'm getting closer to the bad guy.

Last time, their abnormal behavior stopped while I was investigating, but I don't feel any signs of that happening again. I might be able to find him this time around.

—The uncanny conjurer who could easily extinguish three lives.

———

That's right... I'm about to run into a horrible foe...

Only now noticing this fact, my feet sink into cement and my steps become slower.

Besides... How do I know that his victims add up to just three? The only reason why I associated their deaths with the anomaly that occurred to the humanoid energies is because they were all suicides that happened in succession at the same school. I don't know if they're even related to the anomaly I observed.

On the other hand, you can also say that there might be numerous undiscovered victims that I could not tie to this menace.

Come to think of it... the suicide rate has been growing lately. Hey, what if that's partly due to the criminal I'm about to meet? That's by no means unlikely; not only would killing someone with humanoid energies leave behind no evidence, it wouldn't even be noticed.

What am I going to do, meeting a person like that?

Sure, I can perceive humanoid energies. But that's about it. Apart from that, I'm just a normal girl who may have hit puberty earlier than others, and has received dozens of confessions already, and primarily hangs around with Kazuaki instead of other girls. Probably.

What is a girl like me going to do against a heinous criminal like that? Persuade him? Would my words really get through? Would he leave someone who knows his secret alive?

My legs stop completely.

But—

But if he were to extend his deadly hands toward Kazuaki...

My buried legs come free from the cement and I start moving forward again.

I'm afraid... I really am, but...

I have no other choice.

{Corn rings with gleaming rainbows in the background.}

{After bathing in Nattou, Watanabe-san's car travels through through time as it flies through the air.}

{A club-wielding maid brings Nagatacho's meat shreds into motion.}

The voices (?) become louder.

The sentences are as devoid of meaning as before, but the weight of their words has changed. With crackling tension they reverberate through my body, prickling my brains like with a mechanical pencil.

A grudge? I think to myself as I notice a core of a humanoid energy. A type of energy that would normally only get transported to people who were caught up in their nets flows to me.

I feel nauseated. Like on the day of my worst menstruation.

I want to curl up immediately, but I mustn't. There's someone I have to meet. I must meet her.

...Huh? Her?

Why do I know her gender?

I pull myself up and stagger into the park before me. Except for a few children with their parents near the sandpit, there's nobody besides me.

Nobody.

I stand before an old, weathered wooden bench. I don't know what to say. I don't know if it possesses the ability of language, anyway. However, I can't just stand here, so I try speaking to it.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

She raises her head.

"Ah—" I groan in surprise.

Her features were absurdly beautiful.

But what surprised me more than anything was the fact that I—

"Reina... Kamisu."

—knew the name of that phenomenon.

===2===
"Doctor, I think I want to end the therapy."

Doctor Mihara looks at me, slightly bewildered, and asks, "Why is that?"

"The reason I started seeing you to begin with was because I needed support back then, right?"

He gives me a small nod. "Do you feel that you are not in need of support anymore?"

"Yes, exactly. The fits of depression I used to have are gone, and so is my aversion against talking to others," I explain and decide to add something I experienced the other day when I was waiting here, "and I don't just run away from you screaming."

A few wrinkles appear in the doctor's brow.

"...Who are you talking about?"

"The boy who used to be here before me. I think I saw him wearing the uniform of the Shikura middle school. He bumped into me the other day, didn't he? What was his name again?"

"...I am afraid that I cannot talk to you about my other clients."

"Not even his name? Whatever. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him lately."

His mien darkens clearly.

"He is not going to... come again."

"Is that so...?"

"Yes," he nods.

I doubt they would just discontinue his mental treatment in that condition; did something happen? Seeing how he ran away screaming, there must be a reason why he didn't want to come anymore.

But I have a strange gut feeling about this.

After all, that boy is a student of the Shikura middle school. Given that he was under mental treatment, it's more than possible that he had a reason for suicide, so he might be among the three suicide victims.

Judging from Doctor Mihara's bitter mien, he must know the truth. I refrain from asking more, however, because his personality would not allow him to answer me.

"At any rate, you said you want to cancel our meetings?" he says, getting back on topic, "in my view, it is a bit early for that."

"I know, Doctor. You're right in that my wounds have not yet healed up; I'm not my former self yet, either."

"That's not the problem," he argues. "These wounds will accompany you through your entire life, and you will not be able to return to your uninjured former self anymore."

"Where lies the problem, then?" I ask.

"I am hesitant to believe that you have really recovered from the shock."

"But in that case, wouldn't I be coming here for the rest of my life?"

The doctor pauses for a moment. "Still... it is still too early."

I get worked up a little; is he claiming that I'm weird?

Therefore, I object:

"Doctor. Let me be frank. We're not a wealthy household. The bill for this psychological therapy cuts pretty deep into our budget!"

"......" He lapses into silence as I bring up my monetary circumstances.

"Maybe you're right and I haven't fully recovered from the shock yet, but I'm confident that with the support of my parents and the few friends I have—like Kazuaki—I will be able to get better."

"I do not disagree with that. However, I feel that you are still in need of a specialist like me."

"Why?" I ask, somewhat irritated.

"...Very well, let me explain my concerns: I feel that you have delusional tendencies."

"...Delusional tendencies?" I ask in response to his unexpected claim. I have trouble seeing what he is referring to.

"Yes. I do not know how developed that inclination was when you first came here because you would not open yourself up to anyone... but I think that those delusional tendencies have become stronger as you regained your vitality."

"Huh? Do you mean I threw away my common sense in order to come to terms?" I ask.

"I cannot say for sure. I do surmise, however, that in order to protect yourself from the deep wound you sustained, you were forced to alter various things that would otherwise have caused more damage, including a certain sense of values."

"...In other words, you want to say that I'm still closing myself off?"

"I do not fully agree with the nuance of that... but that might be close. As I said earlier, it is by no means a bad thing to change. The problem is the direction of your change. Of course, I think that it is better than staying wounded, but I do not consider it a solution."

After carefully digesting his words, I object:

"Stop kidding me."

"Wakui-san..."

"I'm still weird, eh? That's not true! I've become normal again!" I scream, evoking more anger that comes welling up. "Enough! I'm sick and tired! You've seen me for the last time!"

With these words, I stand up and turn away from him.

"Wakui-san!"

Ignoring the words he throws after me, I leave his office.

There was no going back anymore.

I went to school as usual the next day.

My chin rested on the desk, I'm eagerly waiting for the chime to ring. Because of the slow pace the clock is moving at, I think back at the therapy session yesterday.

I think I got a bit too hysteric. I'm sorry for Doctor Mihara. He only stated his honest opinion, nothing more.

That said, I say to myself as I recall his words from yesterday.

Delusional? Me?

I admit, my fixed opinion on the existence of humanoid energies might seem delusional from a certain common-sense-influenced perspective. However, I have carefully elaborated the underlying logic for this theory; I'm in the right. If anything, I'm one step ahead of the average Joe.

Anyway, that doesn't really matter in this case: I haven't told the doctor about the humanoid energies.

I'm a patient; a mentally ill person. Because I'm aware of the implications this bears, I have deliberately kept from informing him so that he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

That means that... he views me as delusional even without the story about humanoid energies?

...That's nonsense. I'm normal. No matter which of my limbs you take a look into, I look completely normal and off-the-rack.

And yet, and yet! You treat me like a mentally ill person!

Getting upset again, I kick Kazuaki who is sitting next to me.

"Ouch!"

Idiot! Why do you cry out...?

As a natural consequence, the eyes of the class—the teacher's included—gather on Kazuaki. Feigning ignorance, I look at my notebook and start writing random characters.

"What was that for...?!" he complains quietly, scowling at me reproachfully, after everyone's attention returned to the lesson.

"Just because."

"So you were that kind of person who doesn't need a reason to beat someone, huh? Shizu-chan... sob, sob."

"'Sob, sob', eh? Who's the girl between us?"

Suddenly, the chime rings and ends our whispered exchange. Going through the routine, we stand up, bow to the teacher, and sit down.

A few moments later, our class teacher enters the classroom and finishes homeroom with some idle talk. My business at school is over for today.

Immediately after I stand up and say, "Bye," Kazuaki approaches me:

"Shizuka, wanna go home together?"

"Sorry, but I have something to do again."

That park is located in the opposite direction from the train station we would use when going home.

In visibly low spirits, Kazuaki mutters, "...Uh-huh."

"...Again, Kazuaki, I'm really not avoiding you," I assure.

"I know!"

"Then don't pull such a visage."

"But that appointment takes priority over me, doesn't it?"

Taken by surprise, I search for words.

"Well... that's true, but..."

"Aah, urm, it's okay, it's okay. Sorry for being grumpy."

Indeed, he's being a little grumpy. Still, I say what I'm supposed to say:

"...Sorry that I can't tag along with you."

That was enough to bring a smile to his face. Geez, he's such a simple person.

"See you, Kazuaki," I say as I wave him goodbye. He returns a wave, smiling.

Walking down the corridor, I head toward my shoe locker.

My pace is gradually increasing.

I want to go there, quickly, and see her.

Am I looking forward to seeing her? Hmm? At the very least, it feels different from going to a long-awaited bargain sale. If I were to phrase my current feelings... maybe like going for the first time to your boyfriend's place? Even though you feel only negative things like nervousness, fear and embarrassment, you don't feel bad at all. Like that.

"Um—" a voice suddenly disturbs me, however.

I look up to confirm whose voice that was, and recognize one of the C2 duo, Hozumi Shiiki, coming down the stairs.

"If that's not Hozumi-chan from the C2s," I remark in response.

"...What's 'C2'?"

"The name of your girl group. Ah, um, forget it."

C2 stands for "the two chibis."

"Anyway," I continue, "what do you want from me? I'm in a hurry."

"I, um... would like to discuss something with you, concerning Toyoshina-senpai."

Kazuaki Toyoshina.

As is pretty obvious from her usual attitude, Hozumi-chan—that short but busty (D cup, I bet my shirt!) girl—has a crush on Kazuki. Like, she's all over him. You wouldn't believe that a calm-looking girl like her would be so offensive when it comes to Kazuaki. Although only when backed up by the other part of the C2 duo, Yoshino Mitsui.

Hm, this matter is interesting enough to spare a few minutes. I haven't set a time for my appointment with her after all. I'm not even sure if the concept of time exists for her.

"Fine, let's talk."

"Thank you," she replies. "Let's find us a better place to talk."

"Sure. How about the canteen?"

Hozumi-chan nods and follows me.

Waiting for her to start talking, I take a gulp from a paper cup and savor the taste of the orange juice. Hozumi-chan hasn't spoken a word since she sat down even though she was the one who asked me here.

Hm... should I expect a somewhat serious discussion here?

I think she knows that I've noticed her feelings for Kazuaki, and I think she also knows that I can't give her a hand in that matter.

I could've sworn that she planned to talk about that through, but maybe I was wrong?

As I start looking closely at her, Hozumi-chan lowers her gaze bashfully. She's by far not as offensive as she usually is... Because Yoshino-chan's not with her? Or does she only get offensive when it comes to getting Kazuaki's attention?

"...Urm..." she finally squeezes out.

"Hm?"

"Are you, Wakui-san, and Toyoshina-senpai only childhood friends?"

Having anticipated a question along those lines, I don't move a muscle.

"Oh my, you could've just asked Kazuaki."

"I did."

"Hm? Ah, yeah, he's easier to approach than me, isn't he? What did he say? Ah, no, it's OK. I can tell. But I see... so you realized that we are likely to give you a different answer to that question."

"..." She remains silent.

"Out of interest, do we look like mere childhood friends?"

Hozumi-chan ponders for a few moments. "No, you don't..."

I nod at her response.

"You're right. A mere childhood friend wouldn't choose the same high school just to stay together, nor would that person beg his teacher to put their seats next to each other, nor would that person toy happily with the other part's hair."

"...Who's who?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Hozumi-chan casts her eyes downward and lapses into silence again.

I take another gulp from my orange juice, deliberately drinking from it slowly because I don't know how long she is going to stay silent.

It isn't before I put the emptied paper cup onto the table that she continues.

"...How should I deal with that?" Hozumi-chan whispers low-spiritedly.

"What do you mean by that? Are you restraining yourself for him...? No, you were aware of that all along. You're restraining yourself for me, right?"

After a few moments of wavering, she finally nods.

"Don't mind me," I say.

Surprised, Hozumi-chan looks up at me.

"What's up with that face? Didn't expect me to say that?"

"B-But... you both love each other no matter how you look at it..."

"No matter how you look at it? Also when you look at us?" I ask.

"Probably..."

"You're unsure? Even though we're talking about the boy that's always on your mind?"

"...Yes," she replies honestly.

"I see. That means that you, Hozumi-chan, have a better idea of us than those unspecified people that view us as a couple."

"Huh...?"

"I don't know Kazuaki's thoughts on this, but I for one have no idea how you could describe our relationship."

"You don't...?"

"Mm."

Hozumi-chan takes a few moments to think about the reason why I phrased it that way. At last, she comes to an answer.

"Does that mean that I don't have to restrain myself for you?" she asks.

After a short pause, I reply, "Sure."

"Good...," she says with a blatant smile, which she is trying to hide, "I always felt bad about you."

"I know that you did," I confess as I hold the empty cup against my lips, "but don't resent me for that. I couldn't just tell you to ignore me and hit on him to your heart's content, could I?"

"...Yes," Hozumi-chan says, her face gloomy-looking again.

"Ah, I'm not being sarcastic here, okay? ...In fact, I'd rather Kazuaki found someone else other than me."

She is visibly surprised by that fact. Geez...will her face ever stay put for a while?

"I don't know if a day will come when I can answer his feelings for me. Maybe not, and I'd keep him waiting. Therefore, I think it's for his sake if I left him to a girl like you, Hozumi-chan," I explain and she listens. While putting down and picking up the cup for no particular reason, I continue, "He ought to learn that I'm not the only girl there is. Because he... only ever paid attention to me."

Hozumi-chan remains silent, her face cast down. After a while, she looks up and looks me deep in the eyes.

"I won't... hold back anymore!" she says with a calm but resolute voice.

Slightly unsettled by her straight gaze, I avert my eyes a little bit.

"And I just told you that's okay, didn't I?" I answer—with a voice slightly quieter than before.

Still fixed on my face, she nods, "...I see." She let's out a short sigh I almost overlooked. "Thank you for your time. See you..."

"Yeah, see you."

Hozumi-chan picks up her bag and, after giving me a brief bow, leaves without looking back.

As I gaze at my empty paper cup, I ask myself:

...Hey Shizuka. Are you serious?

I wonder? I think I am. I think so... but somehow I'm not fully comfortable with what I said. I feel a bit like I were trying to make myself believe a drawn apple was a real one.

I gaze at the chair in front of me that's still pulled away from the table.

Hozumi-chan.

She's a good girl. No doubt about that. Even I have to admit that she's pretty. Every normal boy would fall for her almost instantly if she wanted them to.

But what of it?

She's a good girl, so what? She's pretty, so what? Does that make her suitable for Kazuaki?

I try to imagine not me but her standing besides Kazuaki.

...No, I can't. I can't imagine that.

However... there is something I'm grateful of her.

Only thanks to her could I remain level-headed like this—because she didn't probe into my actual feelings for Kazuaki.

A tingling sensation runs through my head like a swarm of ants. I feel nauseated even though my stomach is perfectly fine.

I—

—crushed the paper cup in my hand.

The talk with Hozumi-chan has affected me, no doubt, but that's no reason to change my plans; I head to her.

I don't know when and where she is waiting, but I know that she's there.

The humanoid energies are flickering again, frantically trying to break into someone's body.

{Unforgivable. Unforgivable. Your new website is unforgivable.}

{I love you. Iloveyou. I love you, giant vs. Yakult.}

{I know your secret! You take off your trousers when you go to the toilet!}

It's getting dangerous—their words are starting to make sense to me. I'm slowly starting to see the underlying feelings of their cryptic messages.

A tingling pain runs through my body.

I instinctively realize that it's dangerous to understand their language. Understanding them is equivalent to being able to communicate with them, and communicating with them requires opening myself to them for the duration of the conversation. They are not going to let that chance slip.

I try to disregard them like I would ignore those people distributing free tissues.

I just have to avoid contact with them, that's all. I just have to ignore the fact that they're not just roughly shaped like humans anymore, but possess human silhouettes by now.

Ignoring them with all my might, I find myself at the same park as the other day again. She is sitting on the same bench as previously.

The first thing I ask her, who is absurdly beautiful, is:

"Hey, is it because of you that I can now see the outlines of humanoid energies?"

"'You'," she says instead of answering my question. Apparently, she is not addressing me, but repeating the word I used to refer to her. "Call me Reina. In return, I'll also call you Shizuka. Okay?"

"I don't mind..." I answer warily.

"Shizuka it is, then. Did you consider my offer?"

Heh, my question got ignored.

"Your offer, huh... don't you think that a little too one-sided? You said what you wanted to say and suddenly 'disappeared.' Besides, I have no idea what you mean by, 'Do you want to come with me?'"

"Seriously...?"

"Seriously," I reply with a sigh.

"Even though you possess such skills?" she asks with blunt astonishment.

"Yes. I suppose we acquired these skills in different ways. When you climb a mountain from different directions, you still arrive at the same place, no?"

Reina pauses for a while and nods at last.

"I see, that's why you call them 'humanoid energies.'"

"Understood?"

"Yes. Because there is a much easier and straightforward name for them, isn't there? 'Spirits.'"

"I have to admit that I also thought of that name when I first got to recognize their outlines. However, there is a certain discrepancy between my definition of the word 'spirit' and how I define 'humanoid energy,' although that's probably just my common sense restraining me. I couldn't give this phenomenon a hackneyed name such as 'spirit.' Even now, to be honest, they will stay humanoid energies to me. Do you understand?"

"I certainly do. But you ought to keep in mind that they're not humanoid energies for anyone else. Of course, spirit is only the answer for a limited number of people as well," she explains.

"...Sorry, I'm afraid you've lost me."

"In other words, the term 'humanoid energy' may be your own way of calling them, but by naming them that way, they have assumed the role of humanoid energies."

"...like an orange becomes an orange with our awareness of that name...?"

"Hmm, that's slightly off, I'm afraid. You should take a less explainable thing as an example. Like... God. Do you believe in God, Shizuka?"

"I, I guess not."

"Okay, that means that you might thank your own luck when you've been lucky, right? But as soon as we coin the term 'God', you'll be thanking not your luck, but God for watching over you—and that's an entirely different message, isn't it?"

"...Yeah, I think I see where you're coming from, but that's not a good example. To raise a better one, 'air' can only exist as 'air' if you know its name. That's your point, right?"

After all, we cannot perceive air unless we have heard of it, since it's neither visible nor palpable.

"Color me impressed, Shizuka. You're quick!"

"Hold back the flattery, please. Anyway, may I ask a few questions?"

"Sure, if I can answer them," she says, accepting my request.

"Great, then to start—" I pose the question I've been dying to ask, "—Who are you?"

Seemingly unable to grasp the significance of my question, Reina inclines her head.

"Why do you ask?"

"You're not human, but neither are you a humanoid energy."

"But you already know my name, don't you?"

"...Reina Kamisu." As I say her name, I understand what she's getting at.

"Right, I'm Reina Kamisu. That and nothing else."

Right, I have already named the essence of that phenomenon 'Reina Kamisu.'

"...Fine, I will no longer ask that question. But... why did you get in touch with me?"

"It seems like there is a misunderstanding on your part. You were the initiator of our contact, weren't you?"

"...True. Then why did you make that offer to me?"

"Because you have power, Shizuka."

"What power?"

"You have the ability to sense 'humanoid energies,' to borrow your naming."

"I know that. What I don't know is what kind of power this ability translates into."

Reina stays silent for a few moments, thinking, until she answers me with a smile:

"It's the power to save the world."

Surprised, my eyes widen. After all, my fundamental suspicion was that Reina's existence poses a threat to peace, and that's why I got in touch with her.

If I were to believe her words...

"—So what you're doing—setting the humanoid energies into motion—is part of saving the world?"

"Yes."

"Spare me your lies! I know that your deeds have yielded several victims!"

"'Several'," she smiles. "Is saving several people equivalent to saving the world?"

"...Do you mean that...?"

"You're probably spot on."

In other words, Reina has sacrificed a few people in order to save everyone else? Like the masses in a war that was started just to seize a single dictator? Like an elephant among a hungry group of animals that was killed for the others to survive?

As I fight with increasing confusion, Reina smiles at me and continues:

"I know it all, Shizuka."

Her following words unsettle me even more.

"You only acquired that ability after that incident, didn't you?"

===3===
I am wearing my favorite, white dress.

The frilled ends of my skirt float in the air as I whirl around.

Am I not pretty?

Who am I wearing it for?

For you, of course, and for me, for my feelings for you.

I want to be pretty for you, always the prettiest.

But someday I will have to take off the white dress.

And you will undress me.

—Or so I hoped.

But now—

I'm still wearing that dress, and I won't let you touch it.

Because my favorite, white dress is full of stains.

But yet I keep wearing the dress.

I keep wearing a non-white dress.

I keep wearing a non-white dress for you to undress.

Until it's too late to turn back.

===4===
Dang... it doesn't function.

The 'lettuce' I sowed yesterday doesn't function. It's as Reina said... If I don't change, my power will stay limited.

In order to acquire real power, I have to leap over this world and transcend all existence and pass through several deltas.

Break, class room. Chairs, chairs, desks, a fluttering humanoid energy, Kazuaki.

"Kazuaki, spare me a moment, please." I say to Kazuaki who's talking with Kiichi-kun, a friend of his.

"Hm? What's the matter, Shizuka?"

Kiichi-kun politely leaves us alone. Mm, sorry but thanks.

"Okay, listen closely. The world is about to burst."

"Shizuka...?"

"As I said, the world is overfull. There's a critical level in every system, no? You understand that, right?"

"...I think I do... hey, um, I already said this in the previous break, but you don't look good today, Shizuka."

"That doesn't matter. Forget about me for now. Just listen," I urge him.

"I think it does matter, but fine..."

"Humanoid energies... no, I hate to do this, but let's call them 'spirit' because it's simpler. As you may know, Kazuaki, there are countless things that can't be perceived by the eye. Hell, way too many for my taste. And in order to become aware of them, we have to give them appropriate names... hold on, that doesn't matter now either, does it? At any rate, those spirits do exist, okay?"

"...Okay."

"Those spirits keep increasing in number. The number keeps growing and they have started to overflow wherever you look, even around us. In fact, there's one right there in the corner. Of course, some spirits just pass away as they should do, but most don't. Therefore, we can define that spirits are in a constant growth. Right, this lifecycle is thus comparable to the production of oxygen. With each breath, plants also exhale carbon dioxide but the amount of oxygen that is produced thanks to photosynthesis is greater, so they are effectively producing oxygen by definition. Like that."

"Okay..."

"You know what happens if they keep on populating? The world turns upside down. The front and the back get inversed. Do you understand? You do, right? It's a revolt! By the spirits! It makes perfect sense that the world would lean toward the side that holds more energy. Can you imagine the consequences? The world would have tilted away, after all: We would fall from the surface of the world, losing our shape, turning into ambiguous beings, scattering in all directions. Perhaps. I don't know the details, of course, but neither do we know the exact consequences of blasting and burning our globe with explosives, right? In other words, the only thing that I can tell for sure is that the resulting world is in no way desirable. What do you think should I do? Do you, do you think that I'm supposed to prevent that whatever it takes?"

"...Shizuka," Kazuaki says as he gazes closely at me.

Thanks goodness; he has taken me seriously.

Kazuaki gives Kiichi-kun a glance, "I'm sorry, Kiichi, but Shizuka and I are leaving early today."

Surprised, Kiichi-kun replies, "Huh...? Ah, i-it's okay, Kazuaki, nothing urgent, really."

"Tell them that I'm taking Shizuka home because she's not feeling well."

Ignoring my question, he pulls me by my arm.

Kazuaki is touching my arm.

The cells of my arm start to decompose and rot away one by one. It hurts. Unsustainable, boundless ressentiment prickles me.

"Kazuaki... Have you forgotten?"

He reflexively lets go of my hand, watching me with wide-open eyes. After a while, he apologizes in a voice I can barely hear.

Kazuaki won't turn around, so I'm just wordlessly following him.

As we trace our way home, we enter the train line we use every day. There are almost no people because of the off-peak time it is. Huh? There's someone standing despite the many unoccupied seats. Ah, it's a humanoid energy. How confusing. Come to think of it, how do I distinguish between humans and humanoid energies, again? Huh? How did I use to do that? I can't seem to remember.

We get off the train, but when I try to go through the ticket gate, I bump into the barrier because the machine won't react to my season ticket. What's up with this? Is this also the wicked deed of humanoid energies? That's by no means impossible. I put my season ticket on the sensor again, and this time the barrier opens. Phew, that's really confusing.

I keep going after Kazuaki.

Right, left, right, right, left—we turn and turn and turn.

At last, we arrive at a park, but not the one I've been meeting Reina at. It's a very small, commonplace park with a bunch of rusty structures.

"...Do you remember this place?" Kazuaki suddenly asks, turning around to me.

Even though he has been dead-silent on the way here, he is smiling eerily gently. Because I don't give him any reaction, he continues himself:

"It's the park where we first met, back when we were 2 years old. Well, I don't expect you to remember all the way back, but you remember that we used to play here, don't you?"

"..."

Of course I do.

However, I hesitate to say anything because I can't quite grasp the meaning of bringing me here and telling me that.

"When we were little, you were taller than me and you would always tease me. To be honest, there were days when I was so frightened of you that I didn't want to see you, Shizuka!" he laughs.

I look around. Indeed, this is the park where we used to play together. I often played with Kazuaki in that sand box over there, or on those swings, or with that horizontal bar. The jungle gym has been removed by now, but apart from that, this park remains a place of young memories that we thought was our own little empire.

"Those were good times, weren't they?" Kazuaki continues, still smiling gently.

His smile causes in me—resentment.

I keep silent, however, because it's not his fault. He is not to blame. It's just that I feel like throwing up because of a prickling in my stomach.

Therefore, I decide to tell Kazuaki what he must know.

"Kazuaki, listen..."

"Okay!" he answers quick like a shot—with a subtle touch of resignation.

"You are very important to me, Kazuaki," I begin, apparently betraying his fears. His eyes widen. "I think that everyone has a certain role in life. For example, the president of a certain republic has to protect the world on his high throne, while the prime minister of a certain island nation has to obey that president. Mother Teresa had to serve in Calcutta, Columbus had to set foot on America, and Madame Curie had to discover polonium and radium. And I... I have to save the world."

"How are you going to do that...?"

"I'll make sure that the world doesn't turn over to their side by releasing the power inside those humanoid energies and reducing their number.  There may be victims while they are flickering for a while after their power is released, but that's a necessary evil. Don't get me wrong—my conscience is pricking me for this, but I can't help it. I have to take action; it's my role because I know what has to be done."

"...Assuming that were the right thing to do—"

"Kazuaki. I understand that the idea seems absurd at first, but it is the right thing to do."

He averts his gaze toward the ground. After a moment of thought, he corrects himself:

"While I suppose that it must be the right thing to do—why is there a need that you're in charge of that task, Shizuka? Just hand over the responsibility to someone else. You said that you know how to save the world, but Shizuka... We all know of the countries suffering from poverty, where children are born to die early on, girls have to resort to prostitution just to contract AIDS, and weak people die of illnesses caused by a bad environment and a lack of medication. We all know that, yet we do nothing to fix this issue, except maybe for some coin that we donate. This is the world we live in. There will always be people seeking a savior. If we were to answer each and every call for help, we would get trapped at some point, living only for the sake of saving others. Think that's praiseworthy? Well, it is. But what of it? Do you think a lifestyle where you sacrifice yourself for others is right? Perhaps it is, but I wouldn't want such a lifestyle. I'll rather ignore their calls for help—just like all the postal advertisement we get."

"...Didn't I tell you the reason right at the beginning, Kazuaki?"

"..."

"You are very important to me."

Right, Kazuaki lives in this world.

He looks down again.

"...It's cool that you think like that, it really is, but..."

"...It's okay, Kazuaki. Just get off your chest what you really want to say."

I heard enough to tell that Kazuaki does not see the danger the world is facing. He only sees the issues he thinks I am facing.

He slowly raises his head to look at me, almost scowling.

Nonetheless—

"Come down to earth, Shizuka! You lost touch with reality."

Nonetheless, I have faith in myself.

After all, there is someone who confirms my view.

"Reality."

"...Yeah, reality! You went through a lot of hardships, that's true, but look... take this park for example—this place is reality, too, okay? Not everything's so bad."

Ah, now I see... that's why he brought me here. But Kazuaki...

Your point backfired.

Besides, your reality doesn't matter to me. Reality to me is that the world is at stake, and the only one able to save it are she and I.

"Among the things you said to me, Kazuaki, there is one thing that I particularly like."

"Hm...?"

"'Do what you think is the right thing to do.'"

"Yeah..." he nods and keeps his mouth shut.

We've known each other since were little. He knows that I'm beyond persuasion. I'm sure, however—Kazuaki won't give up.

"Okay, then I'm going to do the right thing as well!"

With these words, he approaches me.

I know what he's going to do. I can easily imagine the implications of his strained face; we haven't been together for so long for nothing.

His neck is right before my eyes. I completely forgot that he's gotten larger than me.

I slightly raise my head to look at his face.

He slightly lowers his head to look at my face.

Finally, he—embraces me.

"I love you!" he whispers into my ear, as if to stress that I'm the only one who has to know. "I love you more than anyone else, Shizuka!"

I'm happy.

I'm really happy.

He isn't trying to stop me with false words of love. He isn't good enough with words for that.

He simply couldn't help saying it, having me in his embrace. It's the only thing he could think of.

Kazuaki's just so staggeringly honest, simple, faithful... giving me no other choice than to watch over him, making me want to be with him—

Even though my white dress has been stained.

Even though he can't have forgotten those stains.

He's daring a leap. The gamble of his life.

Of course, I'm on his side. I want him to win the wager.

And yet—

"...Don't touch me."

—I couldn't.

The arms around me come loose instantly. Instead, I embrace myself tightly, burying my fingernails in my arms.

I'm glad that I'm smaller than Kazuaki now; I only have to slightly drop my gaze to avoid seeing his face.

My body hurts like it was pierced by a thousand needles. I'm fighting with the urge to hole out the contents of my aching head. The pictures from back then keep appearing in my head, shredding me, crushing me, pulping me, scattering me.

"I'm sorry..." not I but Kazuaki says.

Why are you apologizing? Stop it! I'm the one to blame. I'm the one who's weak. I'm the one who can't recover. I. It's my fault. My fault. Fault. Fault. Fault.

"Sorry for making you cry..."

Confused, I touch my eyelids and finally realize that I'm really crying.

"Isn't it strange? I wanted to achieve the opposite effect. Embracing you was supposed to stop your tears. I failed at that, didn't I... I'm not able to do it..."

I desperately try to hold my tears back. I mustn't make him say such things. But... it doesn't go well.

"I'm such a moron. I thought things would work out somehow if I came here... I thought everything would change for the better... as if it was so simple."

"...Listen, Kazuaki..." I say, trying (and probably failing) not to sob.

"Hm?"

"There is something... that I didn't tell you."

I raise my head, feeling that I have to.

"I never gave you the details of that incident, did I...? I didn't want to hurt you... To be honest... this park... this place of memories—"

"—is where I was raped."

Stop.

Kazuaki stopped entirely.

He stopped so perfectly that I start to suspect that I was left alone in the world, removed from the flow of time.

—Left alone in the world? Hah, that's an accurate description. I'm sure that impression's not an illusion but a truth.

"...Horrible," Kazuaki mutters.

He didn't say that word to me, nor did he address it at the people who had abused me. It wasn't addressed at God either, since he doesn't believe in one.

I'm sure his horrible wasn't addressed at anything in specific.

"That's just... horrible!"

Kazuaki didn't know that reality strikes whenever you expect it the least, no matter if it's a place of memories.

It treats saints and sinners all alike, attacking them mechanically, randomly, without any consideration and selection.

Kazuaki didn't know that.

No, he may have known it, but he didn't believe that this rule would also apply to us.

The world can turn against anyone meaninglessly.

However, not in my case.

"I have to go," I say.

"...Go where?" he squeezes out.

"To another park that I am supposed to visit."

"Huh?"

"I have to go to Reina Kamisu."

There was a meaning to the world's turning against me.

Right, Reina?

===5===
I told Reina Kamisu that I would follow her.

She welcomed me with open arms, seeming very happy about my decision. Of course, one reason for her delight is the raise in effectiveness, but I think she's also happy about finally having a companion in her sheer endless fight.

I don't know how long she's been fighting so far, but purging one humanoid energy after another (which keep increasing in the meanwhile) is like collecting the sand of a desert grain by grain.

I see. Maybe she's been waiting for a person like me who could help her save the world. No, she's still waiting. If the number of people helping her keeps increasing, then saving the world will stop being a pipe dream.

I look around in my room.

This will be the last time I'm here; deep emotion fills my heart. While it's not a cool room—with furniture like a dresser from my mom and things like a weird doll—but here I laughed and cried and laughed and cried.

Should I leave a letter to my parents and Kazuaki? ...No, they would confuse it for my last words or something. Although that might be true in their eyes.

I open the lock of the topmost drawer of my desk and take out a cross choker.

Reina Kamisu told me that I would need to put on something very dear to me. When I asked for the reason, she explained that I needed a token of regret. I could see that I might accidentally get trapped on the other side of the world unless there was something chaining me to this side. In order to become like Reina, I'll probably need something like that.

I put on the choker.

I won't waver anymore.

I walk down the stairs and put on my shoes at the entrance.

"Shizuka, where are you going?" my mom asks from the kitchen without showing up.

"Just a bit far away."

With these words, I open the door.

By now, humanoid energies and humans look almost the same to me but I can still discern them somehow. Those energies have no aim or destination, so they practically stay put at one place; they mumble things even though they're alone, and while they're talking to themselves, their facial expressions do not change a bit.

Coming across several humanoid energy-like beings, I head to the place she's waiting.

{Why did you throw me away, Takeshi! You told me you loved me!}

{I don't have any friends. I don't need to live.}

{Had I not gazed after that hot school girl, neither I nor the family driving the other car would have had to die. What an idiotic accident!}

Among them was one of a middle-aged man:

{Why did you fire me! What did I do wrong!}

Apparently, he had killed himself after losing his job.

"Hello," I said, for the first time addressing a humanoid energy. Suicide after failing in one's job life is not that uncommon, but his face somewhat resembled that of my dad.

{You can... see me?}

"I can. I can also hear you."

{I see... You shouldn't talk with me. Or perhaps... there's no harm to a young lady like you?}

"I'm sure there's none. Our values are way too different."

{Values, you say... In other words, you think the reason why I committed suicide seems cheap and cliched to you?}

"Kind of. I mean, you'll just get less income if you're fired, and that's it, right?"

The middle-aged humanoid energy looked at me sorrowfully. No, he (?) had a sorrowful look glued to his face all the time.

{It's not that simple, young lady.}

"What's not so simple then?"

{I'm bad at explaining things, so I won't be able to convince you, but work was everything to me. Despite that, I was told to be of no use for the company. Do you see what I mean?}

"I do, but I'm not convinced after all."

{I guess so. But there's one thing that I want you to understand: there's no place for old men like me. Not even in the family I was supposed to feed. Nevertheless, I firmly believed that I was needed, that I was a gear in the family that was the company I worked at.}

"But you didn't stay one of its gears."

{Exactly. And I wasn't able to become part of anything else.}

"I think I understood more or less. Still... I think ending one's life because of that is stupid."

He lowered his gaze somewhat and answered,

{Yes... maybe you're right.}

I think I then spotted a faint smile in his face.

And he swirled left and right.

"As I thought. You died, didn't you?"

{What do you mean...?}

I found him.

"Don't you remember me?"

{I don't...}

I should have known; humanoid energies are the core of our energy, and as such only possess the most crucial of memories.

"When you were alive, you once bumped into me when you came rushing out of our psychiatrist's room."

{I see... sorry.}

"Oh, I don't mind. By the way, what's your name?"

{Atsushi Kogure...}

"I see, Atsushi-kun it is."

{What's your name...?}

"My name? I'm Shizuka Wakui."

{What business do you have with me, Shizuka-san?}

"None, actually... if anything, I felt a bit nostalgic."

{I see... Would you please leave me alone, then?}

"How cold. Hm... Okay, then may I ask you one thing?"

{You may... but I won't be able to answer you because I can't remember anything.}

"Really? I'll ask anyway. You bumped into me—I told you that, right?"

{Yes...}

"What again were you shouting when you rushed out of the room?"

His eyes widen at once. I'm taken by surprise—humanoid energies do not change their expressions.

{I don't know.}

That's a lie. After all, he's putting way more emphasis into his words than before.

{I don't know!} he shouts, apparently sensing my doubt.

Atushi-kun said no more after that.

After changing trains a few times, I finally get off the train at the nearest station from a certain lake I've looked up beforehand.

During the travel, I was once again reminded of the omnipresence of humanoid energies. I fear the world could turn over any moment.

Spotting a group of carefree school girls, I feel a bit jealous of them. They don't have to see any of this and don't have to know how thin the ice is that we're on. The balance is as fragile as doing a triple Axel in an ice rink with ultra-thin ice.

After confirming the position of the lake on a map hung up at the station, I head to my destination.

As I walk, I recall Reina's words.

"Water works perfectly because it's connected all over the world."

In order to find a lake that fit the bill, I had to bring myself to google for 'places to commit suicide'.

I mean, 'suicide'...? Heck, it's not like I'm going to die.

After a 40-minute walk, I arrive at the lake. I could have used a taxi (I won't have to care about money from now on, after all) but I didn't want to cause any bothersome misunderstandings.

"You're late."

Reina was there first, waiting for me with an absurdly beautiful smile.

"I'm sorry."

But I could come here whenever I wanted, no? You didn't tell me where I had to go, after all.

I gaze at the lake before me.

Ah, I see. No wonder it's become infamous as a place for suicide. What a huge number of humanoid energies. In fact, there's so many of them, that they have mingled into beings with an entirely different shape. It's like on of those old paintings of Youkais. Several heads are extending toward me, observing me closely. They look a bit like grapes to me, with the heads being the grapes.

I see. With there being so many of them, there is a wavelength for any person who comes here, drawing them into death. Of course, the people who come here do so with the intent of committing suicide; but actually ending one's life isn't so easy. The fear and attachment to life that surfaces when facing death helps prevent suicide.

However, in the case of this lake, it's already too late once they've come here.

The humanoid energies exploit the hollow hearts of the suicidal visitors, shorting their reasonable thinking and drawing them into death.

"Shizuka, there are several places like this in the world."

"And we have to get rid of those places one by one, right?"

"Mmm," she shakes her head, "that's impossible."

"Why...?"

"It's as simple as the problem of many against few. We have too little power. Once a place has turned into this, it's beyond purification."

I look at 'them' again.

I see. Having mixed together, complementing each other, they have turned into a monster. Should I try to step in and erase them, they will take me in as well and still try to regain their former shape. A mechanism that's much alike a black hole formed in this place.

This place can't be purged anymore.

"Ah—"

I see now. I understand everything.

This is it. This is what happens when our side of the world turns over.

Our proportional relation in power is negated on this side, and thus we get taken in by them. Our souls get devoured, our bodies become hollow and decay. That's the outcome we're steering towards.

"...We must stop these places from increasing, right?"

"Yes", Reina nods in response to my realization. "That's our mission."

I scowl at the monster in front of us. All of those grape-like beings are void of expression yet hostile.

They are—my enemy.

I press my cross choker tightly.

"Reina, one last thing."

"...One last thing?" she smiles.

"...You're right. It's only just starting."

"It is! So, what do you want to know?"

"You said that everyone has a certain role, right?"

"I did, yes."

"That it's my role to save the world," I add.

"Right. Only the chosen ones can do that."

"So, I was chosen because I obtained my power."

And—

"—I obtained this power because of that incident."

Reina nods with a smile.

Yeah, I see. I see now.

It never made sense to me: Why did I have to suffer so much? I was by no means a saint, of course, but I think I lived humbly enough to earn myself a ticket to heaven. So why did that incident happen to me of all people? It never made sense.

Of course, reality bares its teeth against anyone—without any consideration but with deadly poison in its teeth.

Yet, I helplessly failed to understand why it happened to me.

But now I can say with conviction:

Yes, there was a reason why I had to suffer so much.

It's simple—

—It was necessary in order to save the world.

"You're right, Shizuka," she says with a warm smile. "Those were obstacles imposed on you so that you could fulfill your mission!"

Right! I found the truth!

I mean, it wouldn't be fair otherwise. It would be unfair if I were the only one so unlucky.

After all, if there wasn't a proper meaning in that incident, my suffering would have been all for naught.

"Yeah, then let's go, Reina! Let the game begin!"

"Yeah!"

Right, there's no reason to waver anymore.

I only have to muster up some courage and jump into the lake—

It's time to go to my new stage—

As I hold my cross choker, I jum—

"——Ah—"

As—I—hold—my—choker—

Someone's, Voice.

—TSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—

Scars.

Flesh.

White dress.

"—None."

Cryingshizuka.

"—There is none!"

—TSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—

"Here... a Christmas present."

"Oh! Thanks, Kazuaki! May I open it?"

"Sure."

"Wow! That's beautiful! But wasn't it expensive?"

"N-Not that much."

"Isn't that a diamond in the center of this crucifix?"

"Yeah, it is..."

"Hey, then it was expensive after all, you bragger!"

"S-Shut up... let me show off a bit!"

—TSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—

"Why did it happen to me of all people? Why?"

"Is there a meaning in this?"

—TSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—

I wouldn't stop crying.

Kazuaki wouldn't stop looking sad.

"Why did it happen to me of all people? Why?"

"Is there a meaning in this?"

I lamented like this, bothering him, until he finally opened his mouth, and squeezed out:

"—None."

"—There is none!"

"There is no reason, Shizuka! If anything, it's because your attackers couldn't handle their sexual drive. You happened to come across them, and you happened to look good enough to them. But that's not the reason you want, is it?"

"Reality treats saints and sinners all alike, attacking them mechanically, randomly, without any consideration and selection. You have to accept that, Shizuka."

Reality treats saints and sinners all alike, attacking them mechanically, randomly, without any consideration and selection.

Right, now I remember—

That wasn't originally my own belief—

It was just Kazuaki's honest and true opinion.

—TSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—

"What's wrong, Shizuka?" the absurdly beautiful girl asks me.

My choker is all wet with my sweat.

"Reina Kamisu—"

"Yes...?"

"Who are you?"

Reina Kamisu holds her breath.

"...What's it all of a sudden?" she asks.

"Those were obstacles imposed on me so that I could fulfill my mission."

"...What about it?"

"What about it, you ask? Don't play dumb! As if that could be true!"

"As if a reason would just pop up so conveniently!"

Losing her tongue, Reina Kamisu just gazes at me in a baffled manner.

"I understood everything. I sought a reason. A reason for my suffering. That's why I came up with the logic of those humanoid energies and tried to find refuge there."

She listens silently to me.

"Everyone else knew that I was trying to escape from reality. Be it Mihara-sensei or Kazuaki, or all of them. They knew I was escaping. After all, my logic only makes sense to myself. Yet, yet why is it—"

"—Why is it that you can understand me!"

"That's strange! Why does someone like you, Reina Kamisu, just show up so overly conveniently to confirm my theory? I didn't fully believe in it until you showed up, right? Why... why did you appear so—"

"Well," she begins. "Because that's what you wanted, Shizuka," she says, slightly skewing her lips. "You sought an existence like me. A third person who would turn your delusions into reality. Given the name of Reina Kamisu."

Reina Kamisu smiles. With a smile so beautiful it can't really exist.

Finally, I recall—what Atsushi Kogure has shouted when he rushed out of our psychiatrist's room.

And Atsushi-kun—

—is no more.

"Ah...ah..."

I hold my cross choker tightly.

Help me. Help me, Kazuaki.

"D-Do you intend to kill me?"

She looks at me with surprise when I ask so.

"Why would I?" she counters.

"I-I mean, it's true that you drove the students of the Shikura middle school into suicide, isn't it?"

She lifts her hand to her chin and replies after a short pause, "Perhaps."

"...Perhaps?"

"I didn't actually do anything."

"That's just not—"

"Not true? How about you, then?" she suddenly asks.

"Huh?"

"Would you be able to live on if I disappeared now?"

Ah—

I see what she means.

Reina is a phenomenon.

Just a phenomenon.

Sooner or later, we notice that she's not true, and then we lose her.

Once we lose the support that Reina is to us, we collapse all by ourselves.

"...Then stay by my side!"

"I'm always by your side. As long as you don't close your eyes from me, I'll always be with you. But... can you accept me when I'm only a phenomenon?"

With these words, Reina Kamisu vanished.

No, she didn't vanish. I simply dismissed her as something that could not exist.

Reina Kamisu is always here.

I stand alone by the lake.

I stand alone, without a reason for my suffering.

I stand alone, still suffering.

Suddenly, I recall an earlier thought of mine.

—it's already too late once you've come here.

I raise my head to look at the lake.

Alright—

A monster with tens and hundreds of faces is waiting for me.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Atsushi Kogure|Chapter 2]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina|Chapter 4]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-18T12:34:16Z

EusthEnoptEron:

{{Abandoned}}
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

Note: [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016].

The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==

[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|150px|link=|Mmmm, Umaibou!]]
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|150px|link=|How Kazuki talked with himself.]]
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|150px|link=|The basic tools of every Kingdom Royale player!]]
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|150px|link=|Who is worthy of the crown?]]
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|150px|link=|Tickets to a very unpleasant movie.]]
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Empty Box]]
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Flawed Bliss]]

=== Volume 7 ===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://waneko.pl/nasze-mangi/?manga_id=124 Published by Waneko]

==(Former) Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)
* [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ Announcement by Yen Press]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T12:34:05Z

EusthEnoptEron:

{{Abandoned}}
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

Note: [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria"].

The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==

[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|150px|link=|Mmmm, Umaibou!]]
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|150px|link=|How Kazuki talked with himself.]]
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|150px|link=|The basic tools of every Kingdom Royale player!]]
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|150px|link=|Who is worthy of the crown?]]
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|150px|link=|Tickets to a very unpleasant movie.]]
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Empty Box]]
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Flawed Bliss]]

=== Volume 7 ===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://waneko.pl/nasze-mangi/?manga_id=124 Published by Waneko]

==(Former) Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)
* [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ Announcement by Yen Press]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T12:27:33Z

EusthEnoptEron:

{{Abandoned}}
<div class="mw-warning-with-logexcerpt mw-content-ltr" dir="ltr" lang="en">Note: [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria"].</div>

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].
----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==

[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|150px|link=|Mmmm, Umaibou!]]
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|150px|link=|How Kazuki talked with himself.]]
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|150px|link=|The basic tools of every Kingdom Royale player!]]
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|150px|link=|Who is worthy of the crown?]]
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|150px|link=|Tickets to a very unpleasant movie.]]
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Empty Box]]
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Flawed Bliss]]

=== Volume 7 ===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://waneko.pl/nasze-mangi/?manga_id=124 Published by Waneko]

==(Former) Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)
* [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ Announcement by Yen Press]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T11:43:06Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Links */

{{Abandoned}}
<div class="mw-warning-with-logexcerpt mw-content-ltr" dir="ltr" lang="en">Note: [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria"].</div>

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].
----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==

[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|150px|link=|Mmmm, Umaibou!]]
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|150px|link=|How Kazuki talked with himself.]]
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|150px|link=|The basic tools of every Kingdom Royale player!]]
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|150px|link=|Who is worthy of the crown?]]
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|150px|link=|Tickets to a very unpleasant movie.]]
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Empty Box]]
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Flawed Bliss]]

=== Volume 7 ===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/search?orderby=position&orderway=desc&search_query=Zerowa+Maria+i+puste+pude%C5%82ko&submit_search.x=28&submit_search.y=14 Published by Waneko]

==(Former) Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)
* [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ Announcement by Yen Press]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T11:10:04Z

EusthEnoptEron:

{{Abandoned}}
<div class="mw-warning-with-logexcerpt mw-content-ltr" dir="ltr" lang="en">Note: [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria"].</div>

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].
----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==

[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|150px|link=|Mmmm, Umaibou!]]
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|150px|link=|How Kazuki talked with himself.]]
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|150px|link=|The basic tools of every Kingdom Royale player!]]
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|150px|link=|Who is worthy of the crown?]]
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|150px|link=|Tickets to a very unpleasant movie.]]
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Empty Box]]
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|150px|link=|The Flawed Bliss]]

=== Volume 7 ===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/search?orderby=position&orderway=desc&search_query=Zerowa+Maria+i+puste+pude%C5%82ko&submit_search.x=28&submit_search.y=14 Published by Waneko]

==(Former) Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T10:59:04Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Updates */

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

<big>This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria".</big>

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/search?orderby=position&orderway=desc&search_query=Zerowa+Maria+i+puste+pude%C5%82ko&submit_search.x=28&submit_search.y=14 Published by Waneko]

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako:Updates

2016-12-17T10:58:54Z

EusthEnoptEron:

*17th January 2010 - Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria teaser project initiated.
*27th January 2010 - Part 1 completed
*21st February 2010 - Volume 1 completed
*22nd February 2010 - Volume 2 Prologue and April 29th completed
*26th February 2010 - Volume 2 April 30th completed
*6th March 2010 - Volume 2 May 1st completed
*1st April 2010 - Volume 2 May 2nd completed
*5th April 2010 - Volume 2 May 3rd completed
*16th April 2010 - Volume 2 May 4th completed
*17th April 2010 - Volume 2 completed
*24th April 2010 - Volume 3 Beginning completed
*15th May 2010 - Volume 3 Round 1 completed
*05th June 2010 - Volume 3 completed
*02nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed

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Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T10:30:22Z

EusthEnoptEron:

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

<big>This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria".</big>

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/search?orderby=position&orderway=desc&search_query=Zerowa+Maria+i+puste+pude%C5%82ko&submit_search.x=28&submit_search.y=14 Published by Waneko]

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T10:28:59Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Getting the books */

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

<big>This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria".</big>

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/search?orderby=position&orderway=desc&search_query=Zerowa+Maria+i+puste+pude%C5%82ko&submit_search.x=28&submit_search.y=14]

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T10:27:43Z

EusthEnoptEron:

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

<big>This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria".</big>

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Getting the books==

For English readers:
* You can soon [http://yenpress.com/2016/12/day-7-surprise-announcement/ get them from Yen Press]

There are also several ways to acquire the books in Japanese:
* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as (Japanese) eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/796-Utsuro-no-Hako-to-Zero-no-Maria Waneko]

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T10:21:24Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Updates */

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

<big>This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria".</big>

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016 - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Purchasing the books==

There are several ways to legally acquire the books in Japanese. Please consider doing so if you enjoyed them.

* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/796-Utsuro-no-Hako-to-Zero-no-Maria Waneko]

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T10:21:02Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Updates */

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

<big>This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria".</big>

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*16th December 2016* - Operation Hakomari completed (Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria got licensed by Yen Press)
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Purchasing the books==

There are several ways to legally acquire the books in Japanese. Please consider doing so if you enjoyed them.

* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/796-Utsuro-no-Hako-to-Zero-no-Maria Waneko]

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-12-17T10:12:05Z

EusthEnoptEron: Removed download links and paragraphs that are not needed anymore

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

<big>This series has been licensed by Yen On on 16th December 2016 under the title "The Empty Box and the Zeroth Maria".</big>

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Purchasing the books==

There are several ways to legally acquire the books in Japanese. Please consider doing so if you enjoyed them.

* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/796-Utsuro-no-Hako-to-Zero-no-Maria Waneko]

==Project Staff==
*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria

2016-09-10T09:26:40Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Story Synopsis */

[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_vol1.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover|250px]]
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -4px;">[[Image:hakomari_op.png|Semi-Official Opening: Reaching the Zeroth|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLOIyQ6H7-8]]</div>
<div class="floatright" style="left: 4px; top: -10px;">[[Image:hakomari_ed.png|Semi-Official Ending: Bizarre Eternity|link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftl3ZCr_Cn4]]</div>
Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (空ろの箱と零のマリア, The Empty Box and The Zeroth Maria) is a light novel series written by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]] and illustrated by Tetsuo (formerly known as 415), the series is complete with 7 volumes. While Utsuro no Hako, often abbreviated as ''Hakomari,'' is Eiji's fourth publication, it is the first to feature illustrations. One of his earlier works can be found here: the [[Kamisu Reina Series]].

----
The ''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Brazilian Portuguese)|Português (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ~ (Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Hakomari (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria tiếng Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (German)|Deutsch (German)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria - Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria PL|Polski (Polish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Italian)|Italiano (Italian)]]

(Note: Translation progress varies for each version.)

==Story Synopsis==

Kazuki Hoshino values his everyday life above all else. He spends the days carefree with his friends at school, until the uneventful bliss suddenly comes to a halt with the transfer of the aloof beauty Aya Otonashi into his class and her cold, dramatic statement to him immediately upon arrival:

"I'm here to break you. This is my 13,118th school transfer, and even I can't help but reach the end of my tether after so many iterations. So for a change of pace, I'll declare war this time."

And with those puzzling words, the ordinary days that Kazuki loved so dearly become a cycle of turmoil and fear—Aya's sudden appearance signals the unraveling of unseen mysteries surrounding Kazuki's seemingly normal friends, including the discovery of mysterious devices known as "boxes."

==Character Introductions==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kazuki Hoshino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kazuki.jpg|left|link=]]
A completely ordinary high school student who loves idle chatter with his friends and Umaibōs, a Japanese snack. One day, he somehow suddenly antagonizes Aya Otonashi — even though he has never met her before. She threatens to “break” him.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Aya Otonashi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Aya.jpg|left|link=]]
An antisocial beauty  with a resolute personality. She transfers into Kazuki’s class on March 2nd — right before the end of the school year. Immediately upon her arrival, she announces her intent to “break” Kazuki.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Daiya Oomine
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Daiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A self-centered and arrogant student who dyes his hair silver and wears three piercings in his right ear. He is also the class president and a shrewd friend of Kazuki’s.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Haruaki Usui
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Haruaki.jpg|left|link=]]
A cheerful but frivolous baseball ace. He often hangs out with Kazuki and Daiya.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kokone Kirino
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kokone.jpg|left|link=]]
A bright and beautiful girl who cares a lot for her friends, but can sometimes be meddlesome. She and Daiya have known each other since childhood, and their mutual verbal abuse has become legendary among their classmates ever since.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Kasumi Mogi
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako_Kasumi.jpg|left|link=]]
The girl who has won Kazuki’s heart. She is docile, silent and expressionless.

</div>
 
</div>

== Updates ==
*27th July 2015 - Translation of "Hakomari" completed
*7th July 2015 - Volume 7 Prologue & Chapter 1 completed
*19th February 2013 - Volume 6 completed
*26th August 2012 - Volume 5 completed
*31th July 2012 - Volume 5 "Before the Show Begins" completed
*21th July 2012 - Volume 5 Prologue completed
*19th April 2012 - Diamond Days completed
*2nd August 2010 - Volume 4 completed
*25th July 2010 - Volume 4 Chapter 1 completed
*2nd July 2010 - Volume 4 Game Explanation and Prologue completed

Older Updates can be found on the [[Utsuro no Hako:Updates|Utsuro no Hako updates page]]

==''Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria '' by Eiji Mikage==
'''You can find the EPUB and MOBI version of the Volumes in the forums [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=5426 HERE].
===Volume 1 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1|(Full Text)]] [http://www.mediafire.com/?oi86ba1xc7gclxh (PDF)]===
[[Image:Hakomari1_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume1_Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 23rd time|23rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1050th time|1,050th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 13118th time|13,118th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10876th time|10,876th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8946th time|8,946th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2601st time|2,601st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 2602nd time|2,602nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 4609th time|4,609th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5232nd time|5,232nd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Interlude|Interlude]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27753rd time (2)|27,753rd time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 3087th time|3,087th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27754th time (2)|27,754th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (2)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (3)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (4)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 0th time (2)|0th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 5000th time|5,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 6000th time|6,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 7000th time|7,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 8000th time|8,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9000th time|9,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 9999th time|9,999th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 10000th time|10,000th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27755th time (5)|27,755th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 27756th time|27,756th time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 1st time (2)|1st time]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume1_Author's_Notes|Author’s Notes]]

===Volume 2 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2|(Full Text)]] [http://www.mediafire.com/?k9klmsfaa3ezy8d (PDF)]===
[[Image:Hakomari2_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 29|April 29 (Wednesday) Shōwa Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 April 30|April 30 (Thursday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 1|May 1 (Friday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 2|May 2 (Saturday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 3|May 3 (Sunday) Constitution Memorial Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 4|May 4 (Monday) Greenery Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 5|May 5 (Tuesday) Children's Day]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 May 18|May 18 (Monday)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume2 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 3 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3|(Full Text)]] [http://www.mediafire.com/?a1lhd2nx4fd6dxc (PDF)]===
[[Image:Hakomari3_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Beginning|Beginning]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 1|Round 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 2|Round 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Round 3|Round 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume3 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 4 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4|(Full Text)]] [http://www.mediafire.com/?kbdfkf60anap7tu (PDF)]===
[[Image:Hakomari4_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Game Explanation|Game Explanation]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]


===Volume 5 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5|(Full Text)]] [http://www.mediafire.com/?fwebcu6u6epkpnc (PDF)]===
[[Image:Hakomari5_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Before the Show Begins|Before the Show Begins]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 1|Scene 1: Close-Up Goodbye]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 2|Scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Scene 3|Scene 3: Repeat, Reset, Reset]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 6 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6|(Full Text)]] [http://www.mediafire.com/?30cw2vubaj9w7m4 (PDF)]===
[[Image:Hakomari6_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Intermission|Intermission]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (1)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (2)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (2/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Scene 4 (3)|Scene 4: Piercing at Fifteen (3/3)]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 After the Curtain Falls|After the Curtain Falls]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 6 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===Volume 7 [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7|(Full Text)]] [http://www.mediafire.com/?i42qa6s1v41ufj6 (PDF)]===
[[Image:Hakomari7_item.jpg|right|150px|link=]]
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume 7 Translator's Notes|Translator's Notes]]

===Dengeki Smile Bunko===
*[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Diamond Days|Diamond Days]]

===Miscellaneous===
*[[Utsuro no Hako:Interview|Interview with Eiji Mikage (April, 2013)]]

==Purchasing the books==

There are several ways to legally acquire the books in Japanese. Please consider doing so if you enjoyed them.

* [http://honto.jp/netstore/search_10%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2.html honto.jp] ([http://www.google.ch/#q=how+to+buy+from+honto.jp how to buy from honto.jp])
* [http://www.amazon.co.jp/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_4?field-keywords=%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Amazon.co.jp]
* [http://www.yesasia.com/global/search/utsuro-no-hako/0-0-0-bpt.48_q.Utsuro+no+Hako-en/list.html YesAsia] (no shipping fees after ~$40)
* [http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/products?term.media_format=&q=utsuro+no+hako CDJapan.co.jp]

You can also acquire them as eBooks ([http://bookwalker.jp/info/faq_eng/ English FAQ to Book Walker]):
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/46442/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E9%9B%BB%E6%92%83%E6%96%87%E5%BA%AB/ Specific volumes]
* [http://bookwalker.jp/de13c4ce32-7c53-402f-8610-fd995101a804/%E3%80%90%E5%90%88%E6%9C%AC%E7%89%88%E3%80%91%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2-%E5%85%A87%E5%86%8A%E5%8F%8E%E9%8C%B2/ Bundle with all volumes]

The series is also available in Polish:
* [http://sklepwaneko.pl/796-Utsuro-no-Hako-to-Zero-no-Maria Waneko]

== Translation ==
===[[Utsuro_no_Hako:Registration Page|Registration]]===
Translators are asked to [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Registration Page|register]] which chapters they're working on (see the [[Format_guideline#Translators|Guideline]] page for usage rules).

=== Format Standards ===
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must conform to the agreed points highlighted in the guidelines below '''
* [[Utsuro_no_Hako:Guidelines|Project Guidelines]]
* [[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]

==Project Staff==

*Supervisor: None
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translator===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[user:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Grrarr|Grrarr]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

==Todos==

{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|start}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate volume 7|100%}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Edit volume 1|100%|Update text on that one picture... someday... maybe}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Edit volume 2|35%|WIP
( EEE - Edited up to May 1st ) (Grrarr - [[User_talk:Grrarr#Utsuro_no_Hako_Edit_Tracking.2C_Volume_2|Volume 2 progress, detailed]])}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Edit volume 3|0|Incorrect tense. (Grrarr - [[User_talk:Grrarr#Utsuro_no_Hako_Edit_Tracking.2C_Volume_3|Volume 3 (non)progress, detailed]])}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Edit volume 4|10%|}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Edit volume 5|90%|May require changes re: punctuation}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Edit volume 6|90%|May require changes re: punctuation}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate volume 1 scans|100%}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate volume 2 scans|100%}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate volume 3 scans|100%}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate volume 4 scans|90%|(90% done)}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate volume 5 scans|90%|editing is done, except for exec decision needed on File:UtsuroNoHako5 6.jpg }}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate volume 6 scans|95%|text on wiki pages not updated yet}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Define punctuation & style rules|100%| [[Utsuro no Hako:Guidelines|Project Guidelines]]}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|TL notes for Volume 2 need to be FIXED}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|TL notes for Volume 4 should eventually be switched over into /reference form (like V1)|100%|Done}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Apply punctuation & style rules}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Optimize for Android app|0|Minor/low-priority task: the B/W-pictures may need some tweaks because they don't use the ''thumb'' class, hence are big.}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Translate and (finish) editing [http://news.dengeki.com/elem/000/000/627/627419/ Mikage interview]|100%}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Keep volume 1 PDF up to date|100%|Up-to-date}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Keep volume 2 PDF up to date|100%|Up-to-date}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Keep volume 3 PDF up to date|100%|Up-to-date}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Keep volume 4 PDF up to date|100%|Up-to-date}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Keep volume 5 PDF up to date|100%|Up-to-date}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|item|Keep volume 6 PDF up to date|0%|Pictures out of date}}
{{:Utsuro no Hako:Tasklist|end}}

== Links ==
* [http://hakomari.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Wikia]
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A9%BA%E3%82%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%AE%B1%E3%81%A8%E9%9B%B6%E3%81%AE%E3%83%9E%E3%83%AA%E3%82%A2 Wikipedia]
* [http://myanimelist.net/manga.php?id=55215 MyAnimeList]
* [http://replicaletter.com/ Replica Letter] (Eiji Mikage's music group)

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア1 (January 07, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-867461-4)
* Volume 2 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア2 (September 10, 2009, ISBN 978-4-04-868012-7)
* Volume 3 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア3 (January 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-424115-5)
* Volume 4 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア4 (June 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4-04-868595-5)
* Volume 5 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア5 (July 10, 2012, ISBN 978-4-04-886733-7)
* Volume 6 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア6 (January 10, 2013, ISBN 978-4-04-891251-8)
* Volume 7 - 空ろの箱と零のマリア7 (June 10, 2015, ISBN 978-4-04-865193-6)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]

[[Category:Genre - Action]]
[[Category:Genre - Drama]]
[[Category:Genre - Horror]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

User talk:EusthEnoptEron

2016-01-24T16:10:42Z

EusthEnoptEron:

__NOTOC__

==On Tsukumodo Volume 2 - Self==
I'm wondering, in Kishitani's memory sharing session, you gave a comment that Kishitani (the real one) refers to his copy as himself in the memories, but in most of the memories, Kishitani refers to his copy as 'he'. So which one do you think is actually right? [[User:Properparadox|Properparadox]] ([[User talk:Properparadox|talk]]) 09:43, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
: I took a quick look at the original and it seems like the usage is also mixed. He refers to the person in the memory-sharing sequence as "I" and "copy". The situation in Japanese is a bit different, though, since first-person and third-person are grammatically the same and personal pronouns are used very sparsely. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:41, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
Okay, thanks. [[User:Properparadox|Properparadox]] ([[User talk:Properparadox|talk]]) 19:49, 3 July 2015 (UTC)

==About Hakomari==
May I know what font you use for the colored illust? I would like to photoshop vol 6 for personal use (and maybe for public use as well) and want to keep it the same with your photoshopping. Or have you done vol 6 already? I want to help, if it's the latter. [[User:Castor212|Castor212]] ([[User talk:Castor212|talk]]) 04:48, 2 June 2015 (CDT)
:I'm using Georgia for them. That said, I already typeset the illustrations ages ago, but haven't uploaded them for some reason that I don't remember. Probably because the texts aren't fully edited. So if you're planning to slap on English text, you may want to wait. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 15:55, 2 June 2015 (CDT)

Aye aye then. Is volume 7 is still in your schedule, btw? [[User:Castor212|Castor212]] ([[User talk:Castor212|talk]]) 21:08, 2 June 2015 (CDT)

Excuse me EEE; may I know what's the status of volume 6 colored illustration? Also, is there any secific reason of why you use different font for vol 7 illustration? Just asking. Sorry if I sound nagging, but this is really gnawing at me since it's the only thing that felt incomplete :p
[[User:Castor212|Castor212]] ([[User talk:Castor212|talk]]) 17:02, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

==Hoping for an answer==

Wrote to you a while back. If you've read the message, can you please give some kind of answer, so I know that you didn't miss it. If you did miss it, here's the copypaste:

It's been quite a while since I left some tsukumodo questions [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Make-Up|here]]. Just wanted to say that half of them still remain unanswered, just in case you forgot. Although, if you don't have time or don't feel like it, I would undestand.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 14:44, 9 February 2015 (CST)

But this could be left for later. the most urgent question is from vol 3 chapter 2:

i had an argument with another translator regarding the relic (string + key). he thinks the string is something like a metallic wire or guitar string (much less flexible). i think it's more like yarn, thread or rope (very flexible). who is right?
: Sorry about that -- I was just being lazy. Anyway, regarding your question: the text just says "[http://dictionary.goo.ne.jp/leaf/je2/4074/m1u/%E7%B3%B8/ 糸]", which can be both in my view, so it's up to interpretation, I guess. I personally pictured it to myself as a thin wire because it was also used in a wind-up mechanism. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:26, 29 March 2015 (CDT)

Thanks.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]]

== Kamisu Reina Series Audio Novel Project Permission ==

Hey, ich wollte fragen, ob ich ein Hoerbuch von der Kamisu Reina Series erstellen darf. [[User:chocolatehearta|chocolatehearta]]([[User talk:chocolatehearta|talk]])
: Nur zu. Wäre cool die Story mal zu hören. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:52, 27 December 2014 (CST)
Echt klasse, Danke! :) [[User:Chocolatehearta|Chocolatehearta]] ([[User talk:Chocolatehearta|talk]]) 11:17, 29 December 2014 (CST)

== Permission for Hakomari as an Audio Novel Project ==

Hi, first of all, I'd like to thank you so much for the awesome translation you did of Hakomari, it looks professional and polished, well done! I'd like to ask if you're going to continue it if more volumes of Hakomari come out.

Now, for my main subject. Since you seem to be quite active, I'm sure you've noticed that an [[Audio_Recordings|Audio Novel section]] has opened up in the sidebar. That's the result of discussion between myself and some other enthusiasts in the forums, and what we aim to do is create audiobooks of translation scripts done by contributors. However, due to recent discussion, we've come to the conclusion that it is best to ask permission from the translators themselves, if their scripts can be used as Audio Novel bases, because of the section in the Translation Common Agreement that states that all translations belong to their respective translators.

Therefore, as respectfully as possible, I'd like to request permission to use your translation of Hakomari as a script for an Audio Novel Project of Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria.

Again, I love your work, and thanks for reading! - [[User:Defan752|Defan752]]([[User talk:Defan752|talk]]) - 3:40 PM, July 8, 2014 (UTC+8)

: Hey, great to hear that you like Hakomari. I'm definitely going to translate the last volume once it comes out.
: Regarding the audio novel projects; yes, I've heard of them and I would love to see Hakomari among them. ;) So feel free to use my translations for your project and good luck! [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 09:29, 8 July 2014 (CDT)

== Asking permission for creating the main Page Gekkou (Indonesian) and Translate it ==

Hey, thank you for the English translation of Gekkou, I really loved it, so great, just for notice, I read Hakomari too, and it was really awesome, and your translation is great too ^^ Thanks for both hardwork, Hakomari and Gekkou.

And so, to the main reason, I'm asking permission to creating the main page for Gekkou in Indonesian, and translate it, because I don't know what should I do, I just make it, then submit it, but forget to ask Permission, so you're the one that come to my mind, though.
So, just you know, I'm starting to translate, feel free to put critic. Thank you for reading this ^^ - [[User:Azurey|Azurey]]([[User talk:Azurey|talk]]) - 3:40 AM, 6 July 2014 (GMT +7)
: Great to hear that you liked it! :D Feel free and go ahead with a Indonesian translation. Drop me a message if you need help with anything. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 18:51, 5 July 2014 (CDT)

== Regarding Gekkou ==

Gekkou:The Stubborn Will of the Crescent Moon

By any change, did anyone sudmit you the japanese version on Gekkou:The Stubborn Will of the Crescent Moon? Just wondering...
: Nah, but there were a few people that offered to translate the Chinese version, although I haven't heard of them ever since. Nockgeneer (the guy who posted the introduction) might still be at it, though, since it's only been two months since he started. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 06:23, 29 June 2013 (CDT)

Haha thx for the nformation.Was hoping have more to it, since the story was left hanging.

So.........is nockgeneer still doing Crescent Moon who hate to lose/ stubborn whatever? -[[User:Par74583|Par74583]]

== Asking permission for creating a wikia page for Tsukumodo Antique Shop ==

Hi,
let me first thank you for all the wonderful translations that you've done till date, and also for the one's that you'll be doing in future.

Personally Tsukumodo series is one of my favorites. So I was thinking about creating a wikia page for it using your translations as the source material, and that's only if you are okay with it and if it's not fine with you then I will delete everything that I've done. The story till now is so fantastic and fascinating that I would like to tell about this series to all the people out there who are looking for a good read.
Again, thanks for all the translation works.
--[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 06:54, 27 July 2013 (CDT)
:Hey, great to hear that you're enjoying Tsukumodo. I hope that I can find some more time to put into this project in the near future -- I want to translate the last volume badly. Regarding the Wikia page: feel free to create that page and spread the word. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:47, 27 July 2013 (CDT)
Well then, will start working on that wiki. Till date i had just done some edits and this will be my first original page. So, i'm pretty slow and might screw up a little. If possible, drop by the page sometime. Once again, thankyou for the trans and will eagerly be waiting for further updates on Tsukumodo :) --[[User:Agar9691|Agar9691]] ([[User talk:Agar9691|talk]]) 22:17, 27 July 2013 (CDT)

==IRC==

hi, your irc channel doesn't seem to be working. can I reach you somewhere else where we could talk in real time?--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 12:19, 7 August 2013 (CDT)
:Hm? Must be a problem with your IRC client, then. Anyway, you can reach me in the forums via PM or by good old e-mail (umikarayattekita[@t]yahoo.co.jp) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 15:46, 7 August 2013 (CDT)
:Oh, just noticed you said "real-time". In this case, currently no, unless you can catch me at the right time, in which case I'd dig up my Skype account. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 15:48, 7 August 2013 (CDT)

well, in any case, if you can dig up your skype and it wouldn't be too much trouble for you - that'd be awesome actually.i'm idiffer1 in skype--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 16:23, 7 August 2013 (CDT)

== Permission for "Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (French)" ==

Maybe it's a little late to ask for the permission now, since the page is already made (I'm sorryyyyyy ><), but can I make a french translated version Of Hakomari ? I planed to translate your version, since nobody did it for those who can't read english ><
Ah, and I want to use this post to give you a big thanks for this light novel. I enjoyed Zero no Maria a lot, thanks to you :D

: Heyho - glad you enjoyed it and are tackling a French translation! (And hey, maybe that'll help me brush up my French skills, which are in a meager state even after years of taking lessons (albeit involuntarily)! OK, probably not... :D)
:Also, don't worry: actually, Misogi already asked me for permission. Besides, I don't really mind what my translations are used for. :D Just ask me if anything's unclear to you.

YAY ! Thanks a lot ! I'll work hard ;)

Thanks for your remarks on the Project Page, they are correct. - [[User:Misogi|Misogi]] 17:30, 15 January 2014 (GMT+1)

== Hen Ai Saikederikku ==
yo, wollt mich mal erdreisten zu fragen ob jemand spass dran hät Hen Ai Saikederikku zu überstzen? (von mir aus auf deutsch aber englisch macht wohl echt mehr sinn ><). und mit jemand meine ich dich...
: Lustig - erst vor zwei Tagen hat mich jemand das genau gleiche gefragt. Die Antwort bleibt aber leider gleich: Ich fand Hen'ai Psychedelic recht langweilig und habe deshalb kein Interesse an einer Übersetzung. Dazu kommt, dass Mamiya die Serie anscheinend eh nicht weiterführt, von dem her... [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 18:23, 5 April 2014 (CDT)

:: hmm, schade aber trotzdem danke. Ich verlass mich mal drauf dass es wirklich nich so gut is

==Tsukumodo TL help + translate extension==
hi, it's me again. couldn't find you on your irc, so gonna ask here. can you pls clarify a few lines in tsukumodo vol 1 ch 4?

"Mm? Well, if you only open it, sure."

(meaning? that she opens it and does nothing else? is this his joke?)
: While she asks in the traditional sense, he only means to say that she "may take a look" because he doesn't actually want to give it to her / wants it back later.

''It'll be time for work in no time if I just hang around in my crumbly 9 square feet apartment.''

(is he deliberately understating the number of feet?)
: Whoops. Pretty bad mistake on my part. It's supposed to be 80 square feet, or 4 1/2 tatami mats if you want to keep the Japanese counter-part.
And are you by any chance planning on using the TL extension on tsukumodo?

--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 14:39, 17 April 2014 (CDT)
: Nah, at the moment I have no plans of using the extension. As far as I know, it's not ready for production use anyway. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:50, 17 April 2014 (CDT)
:Thanks.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 18:11, 17 April 2014 (CDT)

tsukumodo vol 1 ch 3:

I wasn't going to remember that face forever.

(are you sure it's not the opposite? was going to?)--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 07:26, 25 April 2014 (CDT)
: Good catch. I probably tried to phrase it by using "forget" first, but then changed my mind and got things mixed up. Anyway, the correct translation is something along the lines of "Never would I forget the face that he'd shown me then." [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:37, 25 April 2014 (CDT)

same chapter:

But there are people who have to rely on such a superstition (can't talk about others).

(the thing in the parenthesis - what is it? a reminder for herself? cause she already talked about others...)
: He is just noting (in an ironic tone) that he resorted to that superstition himself.
If you do, one of my important part-timers might come to a bad end."

(like in a visual novel?)
: It works, but it's not an explicit reference to a bad end. A more accurate translation would be that she'd lose one of her part-timers, or that one of them would die.
I prepared chicken sauteed with a potato salad,

(so the chicken is cooked together with the salad in the same frying pan?)
: Dammit, mixed French with English. Should be "chicken sautée" or "sauteed chicken", and in addition to that dish a potato salad.
"Note?"

(doeas this line belong to towako or saki?)
: From the context, I assume it belongs to Saki.

btw, is it alright to use your talk page like this or do u want to move this somewhere else? i'm sure i'll have more questions as i translate. on a side note, good thing it benefits you too - the error catching thing... and are you going to TL vol 3 ch 1? the other translator hasn't been active in a long time + i've read he uses machine translations.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 15:50, 25 April 2014 (CDT)
: Actually, I don't mind either way. But perhaps, putting your comments on the talk page of the chapter would be easier. Regarding the first chapter: Last I heard of him (January, 2014) he still wanted to finish the translation. For now, I started with the first chapter of V4 -- I'll look into the matter after that. At any rate, I'll make sure to give his translation a thorough TLC pass to make sure it's correct. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:26, 25 April 2014 (CDT)

threw in another couple of questions in tsukumodo vol 2 chapter 2.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 13:02, 1 August 2014 (CDT)
----
Posted a few questions about [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Silence]]. And big thanks for volume 4. BTW, did someone edit the text or have you improved your english?--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 09:49, 18 September 2014 (CDT)
: Okay, I tried to answer your questions. No problem re: volume 4; I'm excited that we're slowly getting to the main story line. v5c1 will finally present the antagonists. I didn't have anyone edit the translations for v4 yet, although I do plan to do so myself should I ever find the time. I'm glad if it already reads well, though. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 13:29, 18 September 2014 (CDT)
----
Sorry to bother you again so soon, but I ended up being the TLC for the russian translation of "Tabi ni deyou" (which is inevitably done from your translation), so if you could answer [[Talk:Tabi ni Deyou:Dream| these 6 questions]] when you have the time, that would be awesome.

About tsukumodo vol 4 - I'll try to find the time to correct the small mistakes I did notice. --[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 11:48, 21 September 2014 (CDT)
----
Posted some Tsukumodo questions [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Make-Up|here]]. Whenever you have the time... Thanks in advance.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 10:19, 29 October 2014 (CDT)
----
It's been quite a while since I left some tsukumodo questions [[Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Make-Up|here]]. Just wanted to say that half of them still remain unanswered, just in case you forgot. Although, if you don't have time or don't feel like it, I would undestand.--[[User:idiffer|idif]][[User talk:idiffer|fer]] 14:44, 9 February 2015 (CST)

----
<div class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">'''Old Comments'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content" style="display: none">

Hehe, that was the reason behind that ;) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 20:59, 22 December 2009 (UTC)
:The page contents box? I don't know if it's useful, really. The reasons I removed it:
:# it blows up the layout (admittedly not badly)
:# the titles looked like "1.1 1", "1.1 2" (could be fixed, thought)
:# I haven't seen anything like this on any other BT project.
:On the other hand, it might not be a bad thing and reflects the content of the chapter. Freshness and accessibility. So I don't mind either way. ;)
:[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 22:33, 22 December 2009 (UTC)

Ah, but I have seen it in some projects (like [[To_Aru_Majutsu_no_Index:Volume12_Chapter1|here]] and [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru:Volume1_Chapter1|here]] and I believe also somewhere else if the chapters were divided in subsections (so I thought its custom ;)) (I think for some its for a easier navigation in the chapter or to differentiate the pages - who knows for sure) Also I dont know if much could be done to change the titles of the subsections (but also one can hide the content) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 23:59, 22 December 2009 (UTC)
:You got me. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 11:26, 23 December 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your work on Utsuro no Hako. I'm enjoying it.

Want to second that emotion! Thanks so much EEE!

What? Who? When did you translate this and why haven't I noticed it from the beginning? This is an excellent series and you translated an entire volume a month...that's ungodly. I just wanted to write here to say how awesome it's been reading this series (just finished the first book--I hated the way the author had me with the 'owner' mystery because of his cheap shot) and that I seriously congratulate you on your translations. Sure, they aren't perfect, but you clearly tell this wonderful story, and I'm definitely glad I read it. I truly hope you continue translating ^^.

Totally not trying to butter you up into translating more,

~Blaster

:Thanks for the positive messages Blaster and anon IPs. :D I'm really glad you guys enjoyed the story as much as I did, which is what drove me to translate the whole thing. Though, I'm still not sure just how readable I can translate an already quite complicated book like this. But for now, I think I'll keep translating at least until volume 4 (since volume 3 is my favorite one and hell of a cliff-hanger). [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 17:53, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, is there any way to contact you (skype/msn/whatever)? --LoSs 09:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Email (Romanize without spaces): 海からやって来た[_at_]yahoo.co.jp [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:14, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Also for registered users is down in the toolbox an option to email another user if the other user has allowed that ;) also there are PM's possible at the forum (for registerd users) --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 13:27, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Great job. This novel is very good and I'm really happy that you're translating it. Keep up the good work.

The reason why I signed up to edit was mainly because of your awesome work with Utsuro no Hako, since I wanted to help out by doing whatever I could. Looking forward to working on more in the future! --[[User:Enthormw|Enthormw]] 20:53, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
:Thanks a bunch for the great edits! The awkward English I use is always my biggest worry, so I'm glad someone improves the flow and gets rid of some spelling mistakes for me. ;) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 21:04, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== Asking permission for Vietnamese translation of Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I find this novel interesting with a bit mysterious. Therefore, I would like to translate Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria into Vietnamese based on your translation. Would you mind if I use this as source?

Thank you for reading.
:Feel free to use it. Also, just ask if you need some help understanding a part. (It's not edited yet, so things might be more confusing than they are already.) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:19, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

== Spanish translation/Praise ;) ==

Hi! I've just finished reading the first volume, with it's many twists and turns in a way that is almost unbelievable, this has definitely gotten to be another one of my favorite series here at B-T. For that, I'd like to thank you for translating it into a language I can read! So, thank you very much!

I've liked this so much that I hope you won't mind me translating this into spanish!! (After I can peel my eyes off of it... or rather, I get to the last translated chapter)

Again, thanks for making this awesome light novel available in english. :)

-[[user:Mertius|Mertius]]

:I'd love to see UnH in Spanish, so please go for it! :D Spread the Maria-love~ Good luck if you're going to tackle it (I hope you like the other volumes as well). [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:28, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

== Hidan no Aria/Praise ==

Thanks for the edits on Hidan no Aria most of the time I do the translations at night before I go to sleep so mistakes are often made especially since Japanese is my third language.

I would also like to thank you for your translation of Utsuru no hako to zero no maria because I have read it, and it was a great novel.

== great novel i've ever read ==

arigatou for translating this series of novel, you manage to update this series very fast(heard the 4th volume in japan just came this june). i very like it. and i hope u never get bored o translate this series(i'm beging on you please he..he, and i wonder how u can learn japanese language? i too want to learn japanese as well, but i don't know the effective way to learn it, so i hope u can give some tips or advise to us what is the effective way to learn japanese.

:Nice that you liked it! As for Japanese, I present you the Eusth's four steps to Japanese:
:# Read the [http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/all-japanese-all-the-time-ajatt-how-to-learn-japanese-on-your-own-having-fun-and-to-fluency stuff on here]
:# Meditate for a few days if you '''really''' want to sacrifice ''a lot'' of time for Japanese. That's what the Japanese call 覚悟!
:# Fight yourself through the 3000 Kanji and the Kana as mentioned on AJATT
:# Read, listen, live Japanese. Maybe even set a limit of how long you allow yourself to read something other than Japanese (I used [http://www.proginosko.com/leechblock.html LeechBlock]. 
:Well, that's one way. What's most important is that you get started. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:46, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

== Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I've found many positive comments about this novel. Could you tell me where I can read this novel in japanese language?
: Either buy the novels at YesAsia / bk1 or you should find the raws without much trouble through google. (except of volume4. There are no scans yet) [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

Would you like me to make a nav template for utsuro? [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 04:44, 25 August 2011 (CDT)
:Thanks, but I don't think it needs one. Considering the unconventional chaptering and the fact that there's no table of contents in the original novel at all, I want the reader to see as little as possible of the flow of the story. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 05:19, 25 August 2011 (CDT)

Alright, your choice. Though I don't see how it would show the flow seeing it doesn't show it on the main page. If there are any other projects you're supervising and you think it might need one feel free to ask. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 05:25, 25 August 2011 (CDT)

am i correct that now it's not zero but O, pronounced like oh?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 16:39, 14 July 2012 (CDT)
: Correct. In fact, I've known that for 2 years now but didn't bother to change it because there was no proof. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 17:38, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

Suddenly full text? Thank you based EEE. [[User:Undesco|undesco]] ([[User talk:Undesco|talk]]) 17:45, 26 August 2012 (CDT)

== My most sincere thanks ==

Really, I must say that I love how Eiji Mikage develops his characters. As soon as I noticed that you had uploaded the rest of the volume 4, I couldn't stop reading it until I was finished. Koudai Kamiuchi didn't dissapoint me in the least. Oh well, later I'll see if I can help a little bit with the editing (I'm not adept at rephrasing sentences since I learnt english by myself). Oh and thanks for the Eusth's way to Japanese, eventually I plan to learn it too lol. [[User:Lne|Lne]] 04:20, 3 August 2010 (UTC)
:I agree. Whew, I need to read his other works one of these days. Ah, and I noticed that you already corrected some of my edits, thanks for that! :D And good luck if you ever start learning Japanese. You'll discover its beauty～ [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== Haha, once again ==
I commented on how awesome you were at translating, and how awesome this series was, so I wanted to do something for when you finished, too. Honestly--you rock. That story made my day. I even figured out the ending of the 'Game of Idleness' early! God, I think that was the only thing I figured out early. I mean, really. How hard is this book to catch on early anyway? :/ Anyway, thank you so much! Haha, I'd love to talk more but you have no email or instant messenger to contact you D: Oh well. It was an epic, amazing, awesome read.

Thanks again,

~Blaster

:Glad you liked it! Finally I've accomplished what I announced in my previous answer to you ("translate until volume 4") but I guess, I'll also translate volume 5 when it comes out (and I still have time on my hands). :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== ONCE AGAIN!! ==

Thankyoou!!!.... finally all the chapter have been translated. thanks for your hard word, and thanks for your tips that you mentioned above(topic: great novel i've ever read, i'm the same person). BTW, do u know when the next chapter come out and another series that the author mentioned is?? i want to read it so badly >_<.
anyway thankyou for your hard work.(seriously ^_^) i can't wait for you next project, so gambattene..!!
:No idea when the new one comes out (maybe end of this year, beginning of next?), but his other project could possibly be [[Talk:Utsuro_no_Hako:Volume4_Author's_Notes|冥王星O]]. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

== Dantalian no Shoka/Vietnamese Translation/Praise ==

I'm quite a fan of dark fantasy, mystery so I find this novel great. Would you mind if I translate it into vietnamese?

Anyway thank you so much for translating HakoMari and this novel! I love them both! Hope you can finish vol 1 soon :D.

P/s: I can't find the raw of vol 1 anywhere. If you got 1 pls pm me at diablofanno1@yahoo.com.
:I sent you an e-mail if you didn't see it yet. But as I mentioned there as well: feel free to translate it. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 09:28, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

hey, just wanna check with you whether you have any plans to resume dantalian no shoka. Thanks for all your hard work on volume 1 btw--[[User:Hayashi s|Hayashi s]] 11:13, 27 June 2012 (CDT)
: Heyho. Nah, no plans. The stories themselves are enjoyable, but the lack of a common thread and a worthwhile end makes a translation pointless in my eyes. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 11:42, 27 June 2012 (CDT)
== Thank you post ==

I want to say thank you. I just finished reading Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria vol.1. <s>While I couldn't scream awesome on the novel itself just yet, It's great.</s> Finished vol.2, this series is awesome. And I can honestly say you're awesome. Thanks for your work.
--[[User:Hypernova|Hypernova]] 01:36, 11 August 2010 (UTC)

== Edits ==

For Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria, why edit "fufu" to "hehe"? The former is more of a sinister/evil strange laugh, and it doesn't translate to "hehe". For this series, that kind of laugh is fitting of the characters. I hope you didn't change all the fufu to hehe in your translations! (including Dantalian no Shoka) [[User:Imagker|Imagker]] 19:38, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

:Mh, actually I was planning to change most of them. Fufu just seems so non-English. But I agree that it's not really replaceable 1:1. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 19:41, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

In anime/manga/games/LN/etc, "fufu/fu fu fu" is normally associated with maniacal characters or evil to smugged, cold, sadistic, just plain amused characters who are devising a plan, etc. It'd be betraying their archetype design if we had them say hehe or something else entirely. I'll go through each chapter to see if there are any more changes and will revert them back to fufu... If that's fine with you. If yes, then, if you can recall any part where you originally went with hehe instead of fufu during your draft, can you change those too? [[User:Imagker|Imagker]] 21:46, 24 August 2010 (UTC)
:Well, okay then, I guess. There are some instances in volume 4 - I'll change them. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:32, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Fufu shall be evil laughing? I wouldnt understand that... --[[User:Darklor|Darklor]] 19:55, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Hmmm, as far as i know it´s more accurate to say that is a "meaningful laugh", where it´s abit on the mocking side, is a bit hard to describe but it doesn´t truly have to be done by an evil character; afterall, since it´s "meaningul", it generally points at something, or indicates something that the character finds amusing, in fact is rather hard to use it in any other form without it feeling out of place.(Well in fact i can think of one instance in Hakomari that´s a good example of it´s general use but...well i´m already quite long-winded as it is...)
[[User:Caramu|Caramu]] 20:17, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

:Yeah, and "hihi" "hehe" "huhu" "haha" "hrhr" just all feel off. Fufu doesn't look good, but I think it gets across the correct meaning at least. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 21:20, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

why don't you also translate the japanese inscription in vol.3 illustration?in other vol.(2 and 4 especially)they were meaningful and interesting insight into the charactr's thought that weren't in the novel.
furthermore,it really hurt me to see how much you work to edit/improve the novel(:even changing the past-present tense in previous novel);i of course apprectiate all you(and kadi) did to transqalte those 4 vol. so fast.No word could express how grateful i am-only money could-but i think you should no overwork yourself so much.but it's just my opinion;i hope i didn't offend you.
:Aah, I forgot about those. I'll add them when I have time. Regarding the edits; it's my favorite LN, so I want it to be at the highest possible level. :D And I'm not really working on any other project right now, so I can go on about it quite relaxed. But thanks for your opinion. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:21, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

=Thank you=
Finished the entirety of Utsuro no Hako. I can't believe how well you somehow translated and edited it in the short time that you did. It was an amazing story. Rock on.

~Blaster~

== any news ==

is there any news when vol. 5 will be come out?
:Nothing known yet. Though it's not coming before May, that's for sure. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 15:47, 14 February 2011 (UTC)

== heve one ==

hey, do u have your own blog or facebook? :)
:Nope. Though, technically, I do have a facebook account and a website, but I use neither of them. ;D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 16:26, 16 February 2011 (UTC)

== Tabi ni Deyou ==

I love the story, and I have time during my school break, so I'm doing some major edits offline (I'm rewriting paragraphs and such to make it read much more smoothly, but with the same content and stuff.) so after I finish the first chapter, where should I put it so you can check my changes for accuracy? It's in LaTeX for now, so I can make a PDF anytime, but when I finish editing the chapter I'll make a version with wiki markup instead. [[User:CarVac|CarVac]] 00:46, 15 March 2011 (EDT)
:Oh, that's great. :D For checks you can send it to me via mail (umikarayattekita[a.t]yahoo.co.jp) or you could just update the wiki page directly (shouldn't be problematic if there are some minor inaccuracies). Another alternative would be using my private wiki where I translate on. ;) Whatever suits you best~ [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 01:51, 15 March 2011 (EDT)

== amazing thank you ==

hey ive just got to say that this book was an amazing read and a great way to spend my last week
and i had a question i know this was asked in February but i was wondering if there was any news of a 5th volume yet?
:Glad you liked it. There's no news of a 5th volume yet, but of a [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=3161&start=315#p82619 new series by him]. We don't know what happened to Hakomari yet, but we'll probably find out in the "Afterword" of that new novel. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:32, 8 June 2011 (UCT)

== I think there's some overlap in taste here... ==

I've been reading light novels here for a while...since vol 4 of Haruhi was halfway done. Some I like, some I don't. It's a matter of taste, like anything else. I've read both the Utsuru no Hako series and Gekkou and they're both at the top of a short list of favorites. Of the two, I think I prefer vol 1 of Hako slightly just because it scratches my science fiction itch along with my psychological horror itch. Great stuff. My Japanese isn't good enough to translate, but I'm happy to edit these (as I did with all of Gekkou) because they're so different/interesting and not at all like the generic LN offering here. I don't know how you're finding the good stuff that nobody else has even heard of, but keep up the good work! [[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] 20:22, 12 July 2011 (UCT)
:嬉しいことを言うね。 Very delighted to see that you enjoyed them as much as I did. I'm pretty much just randomly picking novels that look/sound interesting, but it seems like I've been quite lucky so far. ;) Anyway, thanks for your great edits! I've looked through all of them and learned quite a few new things. --[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 22:39, 12 July 2011 (UCT)

== Gekkou Vietnamese Translation ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I'm Nanaya from [http://vnsharing.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=268 vnsharing]. Would you mind if I translate Gekkou into Vietnamese based on your translation? Thank you for such a great novel and look forward to your reply. --[[User:Nanaya|Nanaya]] 20:36, 25 September 2011 (CDT)

:Hey Nanaya. Sure, feel free to give Gekkou a kick-ass Vietnamese translation! :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:39, 26 September 2011 (CDT)

== Gekkou ~ Russian translation ==

Hello, EusthEnoptEron. Thanks for translation of Gekkou and of course HakoMari. Well, I and some more people are currently translating Gekkou using your translation as base. So, I thought, we need your permission for this even if we aren't going to post it here.

Best regards,
[[User:Rock96|Rock96]]
:Same as above -- I'd love to see Gekkou translated in Russian. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 13:39, 26 September 2011 (CDT)

== Edited sugar dark ==

Edited the first chapter lightly, under the impression that you did the translation?
Hope you like it. Refrained from large changes to the flow, please advice further actions.

--[[User:Novium|Novium]] 23:23, 13 December 2011 (CST)

== Thank you Eusth for all your work. ==

I enjoyed Zero no Maria and Gekkou a lot! Tabi no Deyou was also quite good. I like how you pick up interesting works! Do you have plans on starting up a new project? I'd love to read anything you find interesting!

== tsukumodo antique shop ==

when i read the story synopsis, i thought it was interesting and had my attention. then, i scrolled down and looked at list of translators. i was like "it's expected". lol

--[[User:Shera|Shera]] 09:59, 16 February 2012 (CST)
:Shera, I like your taste. :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 05:16, 18 February 2012 (CST)

btw, how is "Vision" (of the main character) written in Japanese?
:ヴィジョン

Miki and I had both been in an all-girls middle school. Therefore, there had only been girls that could be target of her admiration. But with graduating to a mixed middle school, she regained what is called a "healthy mind".
is the first sentence meant "elementary school"?
: Yeah, you're right. orz [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 06:44, 14 April 2012 (CDT)

== Dantalian no Shoko ==

I wonder if you could continue translating the Dantalian LNs because I think quite a few people want to read it further and can't read moon (yet).

If you are unable to due to time or any other reason could you make some good summaries at least? That would be appreciated too.
:Dantalian no Shoka is a great LN, but it lacks a main story that connects everything, which bothers me a little. I'll think about making a few summaries, but I guess you'll also be able to read some of the stories in the manga (though I have no idea how actively this one is translated). :D [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:26, 29 April 2012 (CDT)

Hm I'll look around for the manga and keep an eye out for your summaries if you decide to do them, thanks.

==Antique shop Edits==

hi, i editted 2/3 of chapter 1. i had some questions, so i put them in ch.1 discussion page. can you please take a look?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 02:39, 30 April 2012 (CDT)
------------------------------------
thanks. i added some more questions in the discussion page...

and i just had an epiphany about the sentence where the bonds were cut. how about "severed"? imho sounds cool))

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 06:05, 30 April 2012 (CDT)
-----------------------------
done with chapter 1. questions in discussion as before...
----------------------------------
i'll get to editting chapter 2 as soon as i finish reading it....today, later. RL stuff and whatnot.PS. thanks for finishing the chapter))--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 09:39, 4 May 2012 (CDT)
----------------------------------------
edited a bit of chapter 2. questions in the discussion page...--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 08:28, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
----------------------------------------
btw, how long are the remaining two chapters?--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 10:11, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
: Chapter 3: 85, Chapter 4: 53 [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:21, 6 May 2012 (CDT)
*thanks. man, that's gonna be a long wait...--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 10:24, 6 May 2012 (CDT)

== Interesting novels ! ==

Really appreciate u for introducing all these novels ! really perked up my interest !
I will be glad if i can be any help in translation since i can read jap
: Glad to hear that I met your taste. :D Any help with translating / editing would be most appreciated if you're confident in your skills. In concrete terms, Tsukumodo (the remaining novels), Gekkou (a short story) or Dantalian (although stalled) do still have stuff left to do. Though, if you haven't read that many light novels yet, I recommend staying a reader for a little longer, since that's a lot more fun than translating. ;] [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 15:55, 2 July 2012 (CDT)

== Thanks for translating ==
Thanks for taking the time to translate the novels. I would really like to thank you in particular for translating Maria, I'm looking every week for updates to the 5th volume!

== How to best express my appreciation for your awesome efforts! ==
You're responsible for translating most of my favorites - Utsuro no Hako,
Gekkou, Our Journey to the End of the Ceasing World - to name just a few. I just started (maybe overenthusiastically, orz) tackling edits to Tsukumodo Antique Shop in thanks, but was wondering what your priorities are for editor efforts: for instance, if you feel Gekkou is complete already, so we shouldn't spend time there; otoh, if you want Utsuro no Hako to be uber-polished, etc etc

Anyway, much thanks (and sorry if my edits are too intrusive)...I haven't done a lot yet, but figured I should check in early rather than be a pain in the butt...

[[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 08:38, 12 July 2012 (EDT)
: First of all, thanks a bunch for the edits you made so far. :D Made my day. And don't worry about being too intrusive: if it sound better/more correct/more natural, then it's a good edit, and it will help me pick up new words, figures of speech and whatnot, since I try to check every edit. In fact, for me the most nerve-racking thing while translating is being unable to find a good-sounding and natural wording, so I'm always delighted if someone makes the stuff flow better.

:As for priorities: Hopefully sometime during the next week I'm going to start working on Hakomari 5, which will have top priority. Translation and editing will take place on my private wiki because I want the translation to be as good as possible. If you want to join (in fact, anyone who wants to join) just drop me a message in the forums or at umikarayattekita{AT}yahoo.co.jp and you'll get '''instant access''' (not wanting to sound like a pr0n site).
:* Apart from Hakomari, I'd like to focus mainly on Tsukumodo, since there's still a whack-load of work to be done there (mostly translation-wise).
:* Gekkou: Considered completed. I'm satisfied with its editing state (pretty much the only project I am)
:* Tabi ni Deyou: Don't plan on putting much more work into it. Was just a little one-man side-project.
:* Hakomari <5: I've pretty much given up on getting them into shape. :D yyr has gone through them and erased a lot of errors though.
: [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] 10:06, 12 July 2012 (CDT)

Eh, no worries - all I can do is edit, so I decided to edit... :) Just glad I'm not stepping on your toes... sent you a PM re: Hakomari 5 access as well. Thanks again!
[[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 13:18, 12 July 2012 (CDT)
Thanks for the access - until Hakomari 5 goes up on the private wiki, I'm mostly working on Tsukumodo on baka-tsuki (since your private wiki copy of Tsukumodo seems to be an older version). Keep up your excellent work! [[User:Grrarr|Grrarr]] 21:25, 12 July 2012 (CDT)

EEE, dropped you a message on the forums.--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:16, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

Thanks! Damn, I need a personal wiki too))--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:35, 14 July 2012 (CDT)

== Thank You So Much! ==

I really mean it. I sure took my time to come here and express my gratitude. Anyway, i must say it. All the works you translated had some significance for me. All of them. Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria made me like reading in the first place, it was something like two years ago (that's why I've said that I took too long of a time to came here and express my gratitude). Gekkou made me laugh for days, damn, I'm still laughing right now even tough it's not a story I'm supposed to laugh about. Anyway, Tabi ni Deyou was beautiful. I can't really say about Dantalian since I've still didn't read the novel, but I like the story from the anime and manga. And now I'm reading Tsukumodo Antique Shop. I've just ended the first volume and really, it was great. Well enough blabbering, I'm here to give you my thanks but also to cheer you on Tsukumodo, it's a great novel and I'd really like to read it to end. I hope that some of my gratitude reached you since I would have never known any of these novels if not for your hard work. While I'm at it I would like to ask you permission to translate Utsuro and Tsukumodo into Brazillian Portuguese. Well, technically I'm already translating Utsuro for about some time. You can check it [http://lightnovelproject.blogspot.com.br/ here] in the label "Projetos" presently the links are suspended for a new revision on the chapters but you can still see the project page if you want. Thanks for taking your time to read this, and again, thank you very much for your hard work!
:Wow, I'm really delighted that you enjoyed them so much. :D After all, I also love them all myself. Also, feel free to use my translations, and just ask if you have trouble understanding something. --[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:52, 31 August 2012 (CDT)

== Gekkou, SS2 ==

Hi,

I read and write Chinese fluently. I would definitely be willing to translate Gekkou for you.

[User:paulywolly|paulywolly]

== Appreciation and a question ==

First of all, I want to thank you for your hard work on translating Gekkou and Tsukumodo Antique Shop!
I loved both of them!

I would like to know if you are going to continue translating Tsukumodo Antique Shop, as I noticed you are not registered to be working on its translation. I would be glad to help with editing Tsukumodo Antique Shop, if you decide to continue working on it.

Cheers,
--[[User:LoliDragon|loliDragon]]
:Glad you enjoyed your read. :D
:As for Tsukumodo: Yes, I'm still planning on completing it, although it's hard to gather enough motivation as the series is not exactly popular (no anime, etc). Every help is greatly appreciated, since knowing that my grammatical train wrecks are being taken care of would be a great weight off my shoulders. ;) Also, don't worry about being too aggressive should you decide to do some edits; I don't know about other translators, but I'm ''very'' open-minded in this respect. By the way, I've actually already started working on the next chapter on my personal wiki -- I'm probably going to release by chapter from now on. -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:27, 6 December 2012 (CST)

::Great! Consider yourself owning an editor ^^ Chapter by chapter is a lot better, since it is rather hard to go through an entire vol in one go. Anyhow, contact me when you have a chapter done and I will do the editing in a day or two. -[[User:LoliDragon|loliDragon]] 6 December 2012, at 10:27.

well i know this is a bit to tad late but i just want to thank you for translating Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria... it a nice novel. and since it in a question topic i want to ask if you reconsider translating Tasogare-iro no Uta Tsukai as a side project. i know this is stepping on the line but i just want to ask -[[User:Anon10203|Anon10203]] 28 December 2012, at 10:27.
:Heyho~, glad you liked Hakomari. As for Tasogare-iro; unfortunately, although it's on my list, I haven't gotten around to reading the series, and I generally don't translate stuff I haven't read and come to love. Besides, I don't think I have enough motivation to pick up a new project. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:26, 28 December 2012 (CST)
I also have a suggestion if you feel like you're running out of interesting things to translate... -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 13:53, 28 December 2012 (CST)
: I may have no plans of picking up a new series, but I'm curious -- what LN do you have in mind? [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:26, 28 December 2012 (CST)
This: [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=5477 Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita]. It has the 'fading world' quality of [[Tabi ni Deyou, Horobiyuku Sekai no Hate Made]] along with a more pointed version of the social commentary snark of [[Gekkou]]. It's more farcical than your usual choices, but it's definitely as intellectual as anything else you've done, and it recently had a well-done anime. But nobody seems to want to pick it up as a translation project either here or commercially. Not every translator could manage it (there's some slang, some puns (some translingual puns)), but I think you could.-[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 15:55, 28 December 2012 (CST)
: Aah, Jintai, yes, I've read the first novel and recently watched the anime. I like it. And funnily enough, I've already considered helping out the guy who has started translating it over there at TLWiki. So chances aren't zero. In the meanwhile, I'm looking forward to the AURA movie -- Romeo's approach to the Chuunibyou phenomenon. ;) -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:04, 28 December 2012 (CST)
I hadn't bothered to look at Romeo's CV before now. A majority of his work is visual novels. Interestingly I've recently played through Cross Channel, which is his most famous vnovel. CC has some clever elements but didn't wow me. Now that I know that the same guy wrote both, I can see the similarities in the narrator's internal commentary and the underlying theme of people who are broken in interesting ways interacting. I'll be waiting for the AURA movie as well - his narrative voice seems better suited to books and serial formats. The Chuunibyou anime that came out this year seems to have a very similar plot to AURA. I'm curious to see his treatment of the idea. In any event, consider doing Jintai - the TLWiki guy did one chapter two years ago. I have the feeling that it's your project if you want it. -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 10:48, 29 December 2012 (CST)
:Yes, coordinating with the other translator should be the smallest issue, since I know him. In fact, he's one of the few citizens of our cozy little Hakomari IRC channel. Anyway, first I'll have to deal with Hakomari and perhaps Tsukumodo. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:31, 29 December 2012 (CST)
I'm torn. I like Tsukumodo (and Hakomari, but then a lot of people seem to like that), and would like to see them get attention too. Oh well. If you want something different to do, there's an option. -[[User:Senile seinen|Senile seinen]] ([[User talk:Senile seinen|talk]]) 16:29, 29 December 2012 (CST)

Thanks for the heads-up on Rakuin no Monshou. You're right about the space voyage. If you find more inconsistincies in the future, please let me know. I appreciate it! --[[User:Dohma|Dohma]] ([[User talk:Dohma|talk]]) 14:31, 26 January 2013 (CST)

== Utsuro no Hako Volume 6 ==

First of all I would like to thank you profoundly for your work and in letting all us westerners enjoy amazing japanese books like this.

I was wondering when we can expect a translation for volume 6?
: Heyho, no problem. ;) As for v6: I can't name you a date, but translation is ~75% done. -[[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:44, 3 February 2013 (CST)

Are you waiting to it is fully translated before uploading it?
: It is fully translated, but still needs some editing before I can upload it. Should be done sometime in February, though. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 03:58, 10 February 2013 (CST)

Out of curiosity, is Volume 6 the final book?
: No, v7 will be the last one. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 02:39, 11 February 2013 (CST)

I love you. This series is consistently mind-blowing and I can't wait for the finale. Your relentless efforts in translation are invaluable. I love you. [[User:LoliSauce|LoliSauce]] ([[User talk:LoliSauce|talk]]) 02:26, 20 February 2013 (CST)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! KITAAAAAA!!! Thank you! By the way, has Eiji Mikage stated when the final Volume 7 is coming out?
:Nope, we only know that the first volume of his new series is coming out in April. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 01:05, 25 February 2013 (CST)

For your godly translation speed and insane amount of work (your translations are more and more natural sounding every time), I just wanted to thank you again. Man, the cliffhanger here was just too much as usual. I always read utsuro straight through until it's done, so I know I really love it, so I must really love your translations, so great work and thanks again!

~Blaster

Band sechs war, wie die anderen auch, super übersetzt! Vielen Dank für die super Arbeit [[User:BlackP|BlackP]] ([[User talk:BlackP|talk]]) 15:01, 3 March 2013 (CST)

Drop by to say thanks for your hard work. This is a great series, thanks! Look forward to read the translation of volume 7! --[[User:Kuno|Kuno]] - [[User talk:Kuno|Talk]] 11:22, 24 May 2013 (CDT)

== Gekkou Vietnamese Translation ==

Hi, EusthEnoptEron.

I'm Thefirst244 from sonako wiki, I want to redraw your picture 006 of illu in Gekkou light novel. Can you give me the font you use to write on it?

Thanks so much!
--[[User:Miya|Thefirst244]]
: Heyho. I only used standard fonts -- Impact for the names and Candara for the rest. The cleaned picture itself is by courtesy of the Spanish translators, you can find it [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zkq3o7rxiq4q4c8 here] if needed. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:42, 16 March 2013 (CDT)

:: The link is dead ;.; Can someone reupload it? Thanks in advance!
::[[User:Hunk|Hunk]] (12:19, 06 April 2013)
::: Updated link. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 05:58, 6 April 2013 (CDT)
:::: Perfect, thanks! [[User:Hunk|Hunk]] (13:31 CET, 06 April 2013)

: Thank you very much!

:--[[User:Miya|Thefirst244]]

== The F-Ranked Tyrant - Return of a Fallen Genius ==

hi man...

I was wondering, do you think get the new novel by Eiji mikage? I would like to read it, and it is fascinated with HakoMari...

Greetings! Only one question was.
: Heyho, cool that you enjoyed Hakomari. :D At this point, I have no plans of translating Mikage's new series, since I don't have enough energy to pick up any new projects and I want to finish Hakomari/Tsukumodo first. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 17:14, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

::Hi, thanks for your quick response... No problem, in fact I am very grateful that thanks to you, I know this work, HakoMari... Well I wish you luck in everything you do...

Greetings!
</div>
</div>

== Gekkou Short Story: Stubborn will of the Crescent Moon ==

Yo EEE(Hope you don't mind the abbre.),
I ran into a Chinese version of the Gekkou Short Story: "Stubborn will of the Crescent Moon" a few days back and, since I can read Chinese, would like to continue with the translation to English. I need an editor to vet through my version though, and my command of the language is not really outstanding as it is. Add thereto my schedule for this month is pretty tight too. Anyway, if anyone is interested in continuing with this project, please contact me via my alt email: goink0goink@gmail.com.

Thanks,
pervy

== Question about Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria ==

Hi! I just registered after getting to volume 3 of this light novel series. Until the revelations in chapter 1, vol. 3, I had been working under the assumption that all the bits you underlined had a special meaning to them. My working theory was that they were some sort of red truth like in Umineko. That was completely smashed when I several lies showed up in the chapter that I don't seem possible to be tricks of some sort. I tried doing some google searches but couldn't find any references to all the underlining you have done for the series.

So I was wondering if you could please explain the meaning of underlined phrases. Thanks.

--April 22, 2015-- TomaO2
: To be honest, I don't know whether or not Mikage had something special in mind when using underlines (or dots in the case of the original Japanese text). Most likely they're just supposed to emphasize certain passages, so I wouldn't read too much into them. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 11:36, 22 April 2015 (CDT)

:: I'm going to have to apologize. I stopped reading right after Daiya revealed himself as the owner of the box after game three, which I assumed meant that the underlined text from the earlier game was a blatant lie. I've gotten further now and it was, in fact, the truth and the actual box master of the game of idleness has been revealed. I suppose if I had spelled out exactly what I thought was the lie earlier, you could have corrected me at the time but I didn't want to write down spoilers at the time.

::Therefore, I'm going back to my belief that everything underlined is a truth of some sort. Either because the other person believes (even if he's wrong) or, if Kazuki thinks it to be true, then a literal truth of the story. That's my working theory of how underlined text works. Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.

::--April 23, 2015 TomaO2

== Premission for Italian translations for Gekkou and Tsukumodo Antique Shop ==

Hy, I would like to translate Tsukumodo Antique Shop and Gekkou's novel in Italian in my blog and post also my tranlations on Baka-Tsuki but I'm not accustomed with baka tsuki, so my I ask you if you help me to make italian tranlation page and put my tranlation here? You may also send me an email: kirishima_zen@yahoo.it.
For Gekkou I'm going to start soon the tranlation.
Here is my first translation [http://otakuyaoi.forumfree.it/?t=70730632 Tsukumodo Antique Shop - Prologo Volume 1].
I'v just requested permission [[Help_talk:Administration_Contact_Page#Request_for_externa_contributor_.28ETL.29_for_Italian_translations_few_novels|here]]
Thank you very much for your work^^
--[[User:Kirishima Zen|Kirishima Zen]] ([[User talk:Kirishima Zen|talk]]) 21:54, 4 May 2015 (CDT)
:Sorry to keep you waiting! Feel free to use my translations for your own translation. I created a page for your Tsukumodo project [[Tsukumodo_Antique_Shop_(Italian)|here]]. Just fill in your translations. If you're unsure, try comparing with the English sources, ask in the Alternative Languages forums or ask the staff or me. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:53, 12 May 2015 (CDT)

--[[User:Kirishima Zen|Kirishima Zen]] ([[User talk:Kirishima Zen|talk]]) 03:40, 13 May 2015 (CDT)Thank you very Much, the administrator just told me that there aren't italian so eventually I will ask to you^^ Now I'm translating cap 1 and then I'll posto Prologue and Cap 1.

--[[User:Kirishima Zen|Kirishima Zen]] ([[User talk:Kirishima Zen|talk]]) 13:47, 22 May 2015 (CDT)Hy, I Tranlated the plot on the page you've created. For the registration page for traslator you link Durarara Italian translation so I don't know where I can register. Can you please correct the registration page for tranlator?
The First Cap Vol 1 in Italian is yet tranlated [http://otakuyaoi.forumfree.it/?t=70827536 Tsukumodo Antique Shop Vol 1 Cap 1]

ː Corrected it. Also, great work on the first chapterǃ I copied the translation to the wiki this time -- to add them on your own, just click on the respective red link (maybe translate the link to Italian beforehand) and copy & paste the translation. You may also want to replace the "CAMBIO SCENA" with the symbols I've put and add the images with wiki tags. Just take a look at how I did it (or even better, use the original translation as a template). Maybe also update the "Aggiornamenti" section. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 07:40, 24 May 2015 (CDT)

== Hakomari ==

Great work man!
I love this novel, thank you for doing this. I already have book 7, I just need your translation hehe. Can´t wait, but take your time, I just wanted to thank you.

== Volume 7 Editing ==

If you ever need somebody to help out, I'm game for editing. I have some experience as an author, so I can (hopefully) assist you with any English issues you may have. Great job thus far--you've been really working on that translation, it seems. - ZRonin
:That's great to hear! If you have some time to spare and could go through my stuff to rephrase the shoe-horned translations to more natural English, drop by at #UtsuroNoHako (irc.rizon.net) or contact me at umikarayattekita@yahoo.co.jp. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:29, 29 June 2015 (UTC)

So... The translations won't be up until they are edited, am I wrong? Thanks for your work.--[[User:Kemm|Kemm]] ([[User talk:Kemm|talk]])
: Yup. For now I can just say that I plan on releasing them before August. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 11:54, 30 June 2015 (UTC)

== Permission for "Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria" (Turkish) ==

Hey Eusth, I really loved your translation of the novel, in fact it's currently my favorite light novel series, so much so that I'd love to share it in my own language on baka-tsuki, if you'd allow it. Thanks for all the hard work!

: Hey there, LoyalBlue. That's great to hear! Feel free to use my translations and don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions regarding the translation. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 08:47, 8 July 2015 (UTC)

::Hello again Senpai! (Yeah that's kinda awkward, I'm sorry) I wanted to ask you something about the book. I tried looking for references but couldn't find any: the section in the 27,754th time - where Hoshino is kneeling in front of Maria and starts talking in a "polite manner." Is that a reference to a classic novel or something? Maybe I'm getting it confused with Wuthering Heights and Heathcliffe or something. Just wanted to make sure so as to better explain the situation. Thanks! --[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 19:38, 23 July 2015 (UTC)
::: Hey there. Actually, I believe he's just talking in a theatric manner. At least, I didn't find anything it could refer to (neither did I find out what "Hathaway" refers to).
::: Here's the original text if you want to do some research of your own:
::: 「お迎えに上がりましたマリア姫。すべてを裏切り、すべてを敵に回し、ただあなた一人を護ると誓ったハサウェイでございます」
::: 「ずいぶん待たせたじゃないか、愛しのハサウェイ。窓際でお前を待つだけが取り柄の、スプーンより重いものを持ったことのない脆弱な私をよくもまあ待たせてくれたな。まさか２７７５３回もの間、たった一人で戦場へ放り出されるなんて思ってもいなかったぞ」
::: Also note that we might have gone a little overboard with the Elizabethan English. There's no need to make it sound *that* old-ish.
::: [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 23:40, 23 July 2015 (UTC)
:::: Ding-dong the nuisance is back. (^_^") I'm sorry I've been mulling this over for the last 3 hours along with another translator and we got nowhere, in a very slow manner (almost like our protagonists!).
: This part at the end of 27,754 (2) has got me really stumped. "The ground becomes unstable and tastes sugary for some reason—not on the tongue, but on the skin." In context it kinda makes sense - I imagine them slowly falling into an abyss of pure white while feeling the remains of the environment on their skin - I suppose. It's a bit confusing, could I request another explanation?--[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 14:16, 1 August 2015 (UTC)
:: Seems to me like "a white wave" wipes away the world and leaves everything white. The ground then turns all wobbly/soft like some sweet (= unstable. This analogy was lost in translation) but the sweetness reaches him through his skin / pores. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 09:49, 2 August 2015 (UTC)
:Ohaio! Or not.. Ok.. I feel like I'm pestering you too much. Please tell me if that is indeed the case, I love you too much to want to be hated by you. *eek*
Anyways, next question is about this part in page 85 of the 2nd volume: "but her very facility is what I’m worried about if she... were to betray me." - what did you mean by facility? I've been gnawing it over and can't make heads or tails of it. Mental facilities? Sorry again! --[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 09:23, 19 August 2015 (UTC)
:: Don't worry about it, the English translation can also benefit from finding weak spots. :D "Facility" in this case refers to "skill", meaning that he fears her exceptional skills if she were to turn against him. In some cases, using the history to look up an older translation helps (in this case: "She had easily thought of effective plans as anticipated, but exactly because of that I'd be afraid if she... betrayed me.") [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 14:49, 19 August 2015 (UTC)
::Osashiburi! Genki Eusth-san? Well I'm out of Japanese now T-T - Anyways, I wanted to ask you how I could change the text in the illustrations? Otherwise they don't really get read despite the fact that I actually went to the effort of translating them all.. Any programs or such you can direct me to?--[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 14:33, 4 September 2015 (UTC)
::: I personally used Photoshop, but you could also try Gimp, Krita, Paint.NET, etc. I can send you the cleaned pictures so you only have to change the text. Do you have a forum account where I can send them to? [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 10:16, 5 September 2015 (UTC)
::::Uhh, yeah I have an account on the forums by the name of megagmat, I'd greatly appreciate it if you sent me the cleans. If not I have links to other forums on my discussion page. Thanks Eusth, you da best. Uhh, or should I just add an email or something?..--[[User:LoyalBlue|LoyalBlue]] ([[User talk:LoyalBlue|talk]]) 11:01, 5 September 2015 (UTC)

==Thanks!!==

Just wanted to drop a small message to thank you for putting so much time and effort into the HakoMari translation.
If it weren't for you, I don't think I would have got the chance to ever experience this masterpiece. Its definitely the best light novel I've read to date.
So, once again, thank you so much and I wish you the best of luck for all your future endeavors!!!
[[User:Satoshi Rentaro|Satoshi Rentaro]] ([[User talk:Satoshi Rentaro|talk]]) 15:06, 29 July 2015 (UTC)

I wanted to drop a big thank you for having translating HakoMari so far. I started reading it this year and the trip while reading it was amazing. Thanks a lot for allowing myself to discover such a masterpiece ! [[User:Djidji|Djidji]] ([[User talk:Djidji|talk]]) 18:53, 25 December 2015 (UTC)

== Permission for a Turkish translation of Tabi ni Deyou, Horibiyuku Sekai no Hate Made. ==

Hello. Thank you for your translations, I have read Gekkou and Tabi ni Deyou, and enjoyed both thoroughly. I must say, your translations feel like the work of a true professional, as I can't help but to feel envy towards your well built sentences.

Would you mind if I used your English translation of "Tabi ni Deyou, Horibiyuku Sekai no Hate Made" to TL it to Turkish? I will share the novel on this site, as well as on my blog and make PDF / EPUB files for download, and include your nickname next to mine on the files for providing the source material.

During the translations, can I come here and ask about stuff if there is something to be discussed taking the Japanese (which you know) into account? Also, can you tell me what the Japanese title literally means in English? Maybe if the meaning is somehow different I will have to know what "旅に出よう、滅びゆく世界の果てまで。" means for making the Turkish title more proper. --[[User:Flügel|Flügel]] ([[User talk:Flügel|talk]]) 23:00, 16 January 2016 (UTC)
: Hey there -- thanks for the praise!
: Regarding your request: Sure, feel free to use my translations and good luck with your project! Just ask me when you need help with something. The translation might be a little "messy" here and there.
: The literal translation of the title is: "Let's go on a journey -- to the end of the dying/collapsing world." [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 23:14, 16 January 2016 (UTC)
:: Hello, it's me. On the 39th page of the PDF file, there was something that bothered me. "However, the served barley tea was made with fresh spring
:: water and so chilly that the surface of their cups fogged." "and" is kind of confusing there. Was it used with the meaning of "which was", or was it the weather that caused cups to get foggy? [[User:Flügel|Flügel]] ([[User talk:Flügel|talk]]) 15:38, 24 January 2016 (UTC)
: You can read it as "and thus so chilly..." or as "and so chilly, in fact, that..." but "which was" works as well, I guess. [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron#top|talk]]) 16:10, 24 January 2016 (UTC)

Gekkou: The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose

2016-01-22T01:30:20Z

EusthEnoptEron: Fixed typos.

<div style="border: 1px solid #AAA; float: right; padding: 5px 10px; box-shadow: -5px 5px 0 #DDD; margin: 10px;">
[[Image:Gekkou_ss2.jpg|400px]]
</div>

== Part 1 ==

Zealous yells rose up from the school grounds as the baseball fanatics held a practice match, and joyful laughter resounded all the way from the pool as a group of girls enjoyed themselves splashing water at each other. The background noise was accompanied by the never-ceasing chirping of cicadas from the copse in the backyard.

It was summer outside the classroom. It was summer indeed. Summer had the world in its grip.

The springtime of our life? Why, no, we could clearly rename it to the summertime of our life.

As a natural consequence, summer also had my classroom in its iron grip, warming up the air to a stifling sauna. We were nothing but helpless servants in the face of the overwhelming power of our lord and master.

I raised my head at a funereal pace and fixed my vacant gaze on the blazing fire ball reigning over the sky. I slowly opened my mouth to speak.

“…Could you turn it down a bit?”

Frankly, I couldn’t stand summer. And if there was anything that I loathed, it was the midsummer sun. If I were a hero and the sun a demon king, then I would be gathering my comrades and launching my crusade as we speak.

“You’re incredibly cute when behaving like a child, Nonomiya-kun!” the girl beside me giggled while pretending to be paying attention to the notifications from the committee. I quickly turned around to scowl at her, only to find myself forgetting my counter out of sheer astonishment.

Every single one of the roughly thirty students, who had gathered from all grades for the regular student council meeting, was drenched in sweat, had their uniform stick to their skin, and was desperately trying to keep their consciousness from vaporizing. But her? Her uniform and hair were in perfect order, and naturally there wasn’t even a drop of perspiration on her face. She looked as cool and refreshed as if she lived in another world.

“It seems that even the midsummer sun is powerless against Youko Tsukimori and her heart of ice.”

“You’re absolutely right. Everyone knows that only a prince’s ‘tender kiss’ can melt a frozen heart,” she replied, deflecting my sarcastic remark with the greatest of ease, and flashed a smile as she sneaked her hand on my thigh, hidden under the desk. “My prince!”

I was getting a headache, and that was certainly not only because of the heat. Dizzy for various reasons, I could only manage a “…Give me a break” as I brushed Tsukimori’s hand away.

Either she enjoyed the look of disgust on people’s faces or had the abnormal trait of drawing immense enjoyment from being treated coldly; Youko Tsukimori wasn’t disheartened by my rejection. Quite the contrary, she happily narrowed her eyes and said, “Meanie!”

Ever since that midnight rendezvous at the park, she had become more and more obtrusive as the temperature rose. If there was a difference between the temperature and her behavior, then it was the fact that it was highly unlikely for her to cool off come winter.

Without saying another word, I let out a deep sigh that conveyed my annoyance.

Before long, the meeting ended. Youko Tsukimori stood up and her fellow class representatives started to gather around her without delay. That was her fate as the most popular person at this school.

Since I was reasonable enough not to concern myself with others’ fates, I left her behind without hesitation and walked out of the room.

“I am sorry, but I have to go to work,” she suddenly apologized to her admirers in a polite yet slightly rushed manner and trotted over to me. She then gave me a smile and said, “Let’s go, Nonomiya-kun.”

After positioning herself by my side as if it was the most natural thing to do, she wrapped her little finger around mine so that the bystanders would not notice a thing.

Seeing how thoroughly she enjoyed our secret relationship, the thought of how much her behavior would escalate by winter sent a cold shiver down my spine.

We continued arguing back and forth as we walked through the empty corridor toward our classroom.

“…Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you under a spell that keeps you from walking straight if you don’t lean against someone?” I sighed.

“Feeling shy? There’s no need to be – no one is watching!”

“Shy? Do I look shy to you?”

“Flushed cheeks, heavy breathing … have I got you aroused?”

“I’m just hot! Get off me already! If my head looks red right now, then it’s because of anger!” I retorted and pushed her away. However, she immediately jumped back and paid me back by clinging to me even tighter.

And thus, a meaningless cycle of pushing and clinging was set off and continued repeating itself while growing fiercer and fiercer as we walked through the corridor.

''Oh boy, what am I doing … as if it wasn’t hot enough already,'' I thought to myself, noticing that I was drenched in sweat because of our little fight. The fact that there was not a drop of sweat on her face was fueling my irritation and kept me from stopping.

In the end, it was Tsukimori who put an end to our futile fight.

All of a sudden, she stopped. She took a few steps from me and put on her usual smile. There was no trace of the childish behavior anymore. Instead, there was Youko Tsukimori, the girl everyone admired.

I quickly straightened up as well and cautiously followed her glance with my eyes. At the end of the corridor, which was bathing in the light of the setting sun, I could make out the slender silhouette of a person.

As we proceeded through the corridor, the silhouette slowly drew nearer to us. The sharp footfalls hitting the linoleum floor easily gave aways the identity of the approaching person.

As I had expected, it was none other than the fine arts instructor Misaki Takaoka.

Every student at Senkou High could immediately recognize her by her footfalls. Misaki. There was only one teacher who wore stilettos at this school, and that was Misaki Takaoka.

She didn’t look like a teacher at all. If anything, her outward appearance made her look like the college girl next door. Apart from her stilettos, she also wore a short skin-tight skirt and an oversized shirt with rolled-up sleeves, and in her ears she had a pair of large earrings. However she didn’t wear much in the way of makeup and didn’t seem to use any special hair treatment either. To top it all off, it seemed like she was too lazy to wear bras.

The reason why I described her as the “college girl next door” was because she wasn’t just pretty, but also let you take a glimpse at her lifestyle with her getup.

Needless to say, Misaki Takaoka was ''very'' popular among Kamogawa and the male bunch that were true to their instincts. The decadent atmosphere surrounding her was unique and somehow distorted and, spiced up with the contrast to her job as a teacher, charmed whoever looked at her.

You usually make yourself enemies among the same sex when you dress up so sexy, but curiously, her bold atmosphere stroke a chord with the girls at school.

That said, as a teacher she was clearly a misfit and stepped out of line. Our strict vice-principal would frequently criticize her for being a bad example for us students.

As we passed by Misaki Takaoka, Tsukimori greeted her with nod. Suddenly, the stilettos stopped hitting the floor.

“Hey there, I’ve been meaning to ask this for some time now, but…”

Misaki Takaoka was our class’s instructor in fine arts, so we knew each other. However, she had never gotten in touch with us outside classes.

“…Are you dating each other?”

She closely glanced at the two of us while narrowing her somewhat drooping eyes, brimming with unconcealed curiosity.

''She really doesn’t wear a bra…'' I suddenly realized as her charming cleavage, exposed by the two open buttons of her shirt, caught my eye.

“Do we look like a couple?” Youko Tsukimori responded with a friendly smile. Unlike me, she didn’t bat an eye and was perfectly calm.

“Yeah,” Misaki Takaoka nodded without missing a beat.

She was so assertive, in fact, that it dawned on me with horror that she might have witnessed our “fight” a few moments ago. Without knowing the circumstances, it ''might'' have looked a bit like two lovers flirting.

On the other hand, there was no way that Youko Tsukimori would accidentally let someone get on to her “secret.” Because of that I was horribly confused as to why Misaki Takaoka had come to that conclusion.

“My! In that case I should feel honored,” Tsukimori said.

“Oh, I didn’t know that you had such a high opinion of Nonomiya-kun.”

“Huhu, Nonomiya-kun is actually quite popular, but I suppose you didn’t know that,” Tsukimori countered with giggle.

“Really? Well, he’s fairly good looking and doesn’t seem too clingy. I like that.”

''“My”, “oh”, “huhu”, “really”''… Even though their exchange of words was as peaceful as it gets at first glance, my throat was as dry as sandpaper. I couldn’t shake off the notion that I was watching a fierce cat-and-mouse game.

While I had become used to Tsukimori’s unfathomable personality, I also sensed a similar kind of obscurity in this fine arts instructor.

Simply put, what was this schemer up to?

“Ah, right, Tsukimori-san! I heard your parents passed away…?”

Something in her words caught my attention, but I couldn’t quite point out what it was. Tsukimori paused for a moment, apparently feeling the same, and replied slightly delayed, “…Yes.”

“Oh dear…! You must have gone through tough times, then, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I suppose so … It was not easy.”

Misaki Takaoka may look like a minx, but she was still a teacher; there was nothing wrong with her offering her condolences to a student. The problem was her ''timing''.

While slowly brushing up her hair, she started to smile.

“But you look totally fine now.”

Tsukimori’s parents had passed away at the end of May and it was the end of July now, shortly before our summer holidays. Two months had passed since. Because of other interesting topics like the Big Senkou Conference, her incidence had since disappeared into oblivion.

“Goes to show why you’re respected by students and teachers alike. Impressing … A normal girl your age wouldn’t be so calm after losing her parents.” With these words, she looked over to me for some reason. “Don’t you agree, Nonomiya-kun?”

I ground my back teeth for an instant and replied with a boring answer in a boring tone, “I’m afraid I can’t judge over that.”

“You are overestimating me; only thanks to the help of many, many people could I move on so fast,” Tsukimori explained and suddenly turned at me. “Of course, you are one of them as well.”

''She just totally used me as a shield,'' I thought to myself while narrowing my eyes and replied with an equally boring answer as before, “Well, you heard her.”

“Mhm…? Alrighty,” Misaki Takaoka muttered as she curved her sensual lips to a knowing smile and narrowed her eyes. Her sudden cold shift in attitude alarmed me.

''Has this woman picked up on something regarding the passing of Tsukimori’s parents…?''

''No, impossible,'' I answered myself immediately.

I am the only one in the world who doubts Youko Tsukimori.

However, I found myself unable to disregard Misaki Takaoka’s meaningful attitude. The way she expressed herself in a provocative manner hinted at some kind of certainty.

I didn’t know her well enough, and I deemed that continuing an unpredictable conversation with an unfamiliar person was a bad idea. It was without doubt advisable to suspend this talk for the time being.

Just when I started getting antsy to end this conversation:

“Now, if you’ll excuse us, Misaki-sensei. ''We'' have to go to work,” Tsukimori said and then turned at me with a smile as gentle as the first rays of the morning sun. “We should hurry, Nonomiya-kun.”

''Color me impressed.'' That was Youko Tsukimori to a tee; she may be dreadful as a foe, but she was most reliable as an ally.

“Oh, I’m sorry for taking your time then. But don’t take Nonomiya-kun with you, okay? There’s something I need to talk about with him.” However, Misaki Takaoka didn’t give up so easily. “Oh, don’t give me that sour look, Nonomiya-kun. You’re breaking my heart! It’s your fault, you know? Remember the portrait sketch you handed in the other day?”

“…Yes.”

“That sketch is terrible! Atrocious even! I have seen a lot of sketches in the course of my career, but I can say with confidence that yours are easily the worst!”

Her expression was so earnest that I had to avert my eyes. I was perfectly aware of my poor skill at art, but it was kind of awkward to have somebody lay it on the line for me.

“…Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses,” I muttered in an attempt to explain myself.

“No,” she countered. “You clearly lack motivation or you wouldn’t be ''that'' bad. Because of that, my dear Nonomiya-kun, I will now take you to the art room and give you a sermon.”

With a soft smile on her face, she confined me by entwining her arms with mine.

“Tsukimori-san, may I ask you to tell your boss that Nonomiya-kun was called out by his teacher and can’t come to work?” Misaki Takaoka said as she pulled me toward herself. The soft, unobstructed touch that I felt wrapping around my arm left me speechless.

“Yes … I suppose there is nothing to be done about it then. I shall pass on the message,” Tsukimori said with a faint smile on her lips and swiftly turned around, swaying her beautiful black hair in the air.

I caught a glimpse at her out of the corner of my eye. If I wasn’t mistaken, the look she gave me while making her exit was anything but a smile.

== Part 2 ==

“Want some sugar?” the woman asked as she poured a black liquid from a carton into a mug.

I, on the other hand, was occupied with gazing at the countless sculptures and oil paintings that had been stowed away in the art preparation room and only gave her a brief, “I’ll have mine black.”

“Oh, that’s quite unusual for someone your age.”

“I’m used to drinking coffee because I work at a café.”

Misaki Takaoka carried the two mugs over to the work table and sat down on the opposite side. “Have one,” she said as she pushed one cup toward me, which I accepted with a thanks. It was time for a short iced coffee break.

The preparation room we were at was situated right beside the art room. It was about half the size of a common classroom and had only two doors: one to the corridor and one to the art room.

The room was cluttered and filled with a complicated combination of smells that consisted of paint, plaster and various metals. As an amateur, I couldn’t fathom what was the beauty of all the paintings and sculptures stored here, let alone tell which were finished and which were not. Even the tools I found ranged from familiar to cryptic. Apart from paintbrushes, putties and files, there were also instruments probably used for sculpting such as hammers, chisels and picks.

Since Misaki Takaoka was the only fine arts instructor at this school, this room was effectively her atelier.

“Now tell me, you’re dating each other, aren’t you?” she asked, bringing the matter up again. “Why don’t you tell Misaki? Hm? It’ll be our little promise!”

“Ahem, weren’t you going to give me a sermon…?”

“Huh? You want one? So you swing ''that'' way, Nonomiya-kun? Mmhm … Well, we’re alone here, so I guess I wouldn’t mind stepping on you with my heels if that’s what you want for telling me the truth.”

She glanced at me – and my frown – while moving her voluminous breasts up and down as she breathed in and out. The sermon had apparently been an excuse to drag me here.

“Let me put this straight: we are not in the kind of relationship that you might be anticipating.”

There was no word that could accurately describe our relationship, but in the very least it was not something as simple as ''that''.

“If you get the feeling that we’re intimate, then that’s because we work at the same café and are the two representatives of our class. I unavoidably have to associate somewhat more with her than the other guys,” I said, reciting the same inoffensive explanation that I had already given a thousand times to various people. In fact, most of them were actually satisfied with this explanation, probably with the help of wishful thinking on their part.

Everyone wished for Youko Tsukimori to be special and stay that way.

“Hmm … That’s not it, you know. The reason why I thought you were a couple isn’t so superficial.”

Her response was unexpected. I froze on the spot with the mug pressed against my lips and started to observe her.

“Do you want to know what I’m talking about?”

All of a sudden, Misaki Takaoka stood up, walked straight to my side and brought her face right to my ear.

“Curious, aren’t you?” With a scheming look she let out a breath as if to spread some kind of powder over me.

“…No, not really…” I replied while turning away from her. I hate to admit it, but I was overwhelmed by the bewitching pressure she put on me. I lacked experience.

“Liar. I can read it off your face: you’re ''itching'' to know, aren’t you?” she muttered and poked my cheek with her finger while giggling in silent rapture. I could clearly sense my flesh crawling all over my body.

I was in disarray – in utter confusion.

I had been perfectly aware of her attractiveness as an adult woman and of the fact that this room was her home ground. However, after what I had been through with Youko Tsukimori, I had been sure that I would not lose to her even if she was an unpredictable adult woman.

And yet, here I was dancing in the palm of her hand.

“Be honest with your teacher. You want to know, don’t you?”

“…Well, I guess I do. Given the choice.”

“Well said, my dear. I’m sorry, but I whenever I see a rebellious boy or girl, I just can’t resist the urge to tease them.”

I was terrified as I watched her gentle smile before me, overwhelmed by irresistable anxiety. It was a horrible feeling that resembled having one’s guts eaten away alive.

“Wait here for a sec, okay?” Misaki Takaoka said with a wink as she stood up and walked away.

It was then that I finally noticed that I was drenched as though I had plunged straight into a pool in full attire. On top of that, I also ''felt'' as though I had just swum a few lengths: my body was exhausted and my heart pumping.

And yet – I couldn’t believe it – I was smiling.

My bad habit was kicking in. Even though my head was sounding the alarm and telling me to stay away from this woman, my heart was throbbing with anticipation for what kind of trap she had set for me.

I was as excited as the day I’d learned about Youko Tsukimori. My body was rejoicing over the discovery of a tough opponent.

“Here, these are the sketches I was talking about.”

As soon as she returned, she sat down again and arranged several sketches on the table. Among them were also some that I didn’t recognize as mine.

“Scribbles without ''a trace'' of motivation whatsoever,” she surmised.

“The subject is ‘apathy.’”

“As the lecturer of your fine-arts classes, I can’t let that slide. Come on, at least try to be motivated!”

“It would be painful to look at if I tried to be motivated. I’m simply beyond rescue as far as my skill at drawing goes. Besides, you can’t ask of me to be motivated when drawing Kamogawa. Seriously.”

“Well, I see you’re quite stubborn, but I guess that’s your personality!” she laughed. “—A drawing is the mirror of an artist’s heart,” she suddenly added whispering. “That’s a quote from my own teacher in fine arts, but I couldn’t agree more. An artist’s mental state and their personality is strongly reflected in their drawings – and because it all happens unconsciously, they tend to give away more than any words could ever do. It’s a lot of fun because you can basically peek into other people’s hearts.”

Misaki Takaoka narrowed her eyes with amusement. I wouldn’t be surprised if she licked her lips any moment.

“Now if that isn’t a lovely hobby … so that’s why you always have us draw a sketch at the beginning of every class. You’re combining your job and your hobby.”

“You got me there, Nonomiya-kun. But don’t tell anyone, okay? I don’t want my students to think I’m an oddball.”

“Don’t worry: You’re already famous as one. Irrevocably.”

“Oh my, where did it all go wrong?”

“Don’t ask me.”

“Because of my looks?” she started asking herself, completely disregarding my snappy remark. “But most people working in this field tend to not fit into the norm, do they?” she muttered, mulling over something and tilting her head left and right.

“And? Could you go on with your point?”

''I’m not going to mince matters any longer. There’s no point in following the etiquette.''

“In a nutshell, I can easily analyze people by looking at their drawings.”

In other words, she knew perfectly what kind of person I was.

“Your sketches for example are, well, ''incredible'' in terms of atrociousness, but that’s not my point. From composition to the details, your drawings are defined by a stunningly objective sense of observation. The way you use your pencil is mostly careful yet rough at times. From these pointers I can deduct that you’re good at analyzing and careful. Well, basically you’re a prime example of a passive person. However—”

I was absorbed in her explanation. I hadn’t put down my guard by any means, however; I was simply starting to get fascinated by this woman in a way that surpassed my defense.

“—At the very core you have a somewhat twisted personality … submitting yourself to the rules of a system bores you and arouses some sort of desire for destruction in you. It makes you turn aggressive, even cruel, from time to time,” she explained and gave me a self-confident smile. “What do you say? Bull’s eye?”

While I didn’t put it into words, I fully concurred with her analysis. She was correct. I was genuinely amazed at how she had been able to see through me just by looking at some sketches.

The word “profiling” crossed my mind, which is a behavioral tool for criminal analysis used by the police in crime investigations.

“Let’s get to the interesting part, though,” she then said. “I bet you’re burning to hear what I have to say, right?” she claimed with a triumphant look as she placed two sketches before me that someone else had drawn.

I was indeed very curious…

“These two are by Tsukimori-san.”

…about how Misaki Takaoka was going to profile Youko Tsukimori.

“As an art teacher, I must say they’re flawless. Nearly perfect. She was 100% faithful to the textbooks.”

One of the sketches had Mizuru Usami as the model. Compared to her drawing, my unsightly sketch of Ugawa was like day and night. I couldn’t hold a candle to her even when taking into consideration that Ugawa himself was unsightly already.

However, Misaki Takaoka looked displeased.

“But as an artist, if I may call myself one, I must say that I don’t often see a drawing that is so beautiful yet so awfully boring.”

Even though I was a complete layman in art, I could see that Tsukimori’s sketch may have been perfect in the sense of being as almost as precise as a picture, but the pedantic exactness made it boring.

“She’s actually just like you, Nonomiya-kun. Not the slightest sign of interest to be found in her drawings,” she sighed and gave me a wry smile. “You can easily recognize that she’s an excellent student from the perfect composition and the drawing technique of her sketches. I bet she’s aware of the ‘safest’ way to draw each stroke. She’s only ever following these trails, which is why her works turn out serene, or bureaucratic and emotionless as I would put it. Bluntly said, her drawings have a severe lack of emotion that makes them seem cold-blooded even.”

I heard myself gulp down.

“Keep in mind that she was sketching ''real people''. I mean, normally, when you draw a person, your impression of that person flows into your drawing to some extent. Heh, for example, your sketch of Kamogawa-kun is literally dripping with discontent!” the woman laughed, bouncing her décolletage.

“…But there’s no inkling of any emotion in her drawings as you may see.” she continued. “Nothing shows in the emotional mirror that is art, and that’s unsettling. I’ve also seen some of Tsukimori-san’s still-life paintings, and you know what? It doesn’t seem to matter to her whether she’s drawing a person or an apple.”

This was something only Misaki Takaoka, an art teacher, could have discovered.

“Tsukimori-san may be sociable and courteous, but I’m pretty sure that’s not her true face…”

With a razor-sharp look pinned on Tsukimori’s drawings, she looked like a coroner. As I gazed at her from the side, I recalled a certain, frivolous police detective. He, too, had described Tsukimori as “too perfect and therefore suspicious.” Most likely, Misaki Takaoka’s hunch and the intuition of that cunning detective were of similar nature.

“Anyway, there is one drawing where she added an emotional touch.”

With these words, she produced a sketch and held it out to me. As I realized who that familiar person was, I was slightly taken aback.

“—Only when she sketched you, Nonomiya-kun! At a glance, it may not look any different from her previous sketch, but if you take a closer look, you’ll notice some parts that she corrected over and over. That’s when it clicked with me and I realized that you, Nonomiya-kun, are special to her.”

Right next to me was an obnoxious woman with an naughty smirk all over her face.

“What do you say? I’ve hit the mark, haven’t I?”

I wordlessly emptied my cup of ice coffee with a single gulp and turned to her.

“Takaoka-sensei,” I started and got straight to the point. “Earlier, when we met in the corridor, you touched on the death of Youko Tsukimori’s parents from two months ago, right?”

While looking me straight in the eye, she sighed, “…Asking questions but not answering any, eh?”

“Quite frankly, that was inappropriate of you. Reminding a student of though memories is clearly lacking consideration.”

“Oh, how merciless. Would you forgive me if I said that the words slipped out of my mouth because I was so worried about Tsukimori-san?”

Despite my biting remark, the woman teacher showed practically no sign of flinching … which proved my hypothesis.

“Of course not. You had some kind of proof or a clear reason to bring up the incident of her parents.”

Suddenly, she was all smiles and started to clap before her décolleté. “You’re just the shrewd observer I thought you’d be! My assessment was spot on!”

“I’d rather you answered my question instead of praising me.”

“You’re an interesting boy, Nonomiya-kun. I think I can understand why Tsukimori-san would be attracted to you.”

I frowned at her.

“Help! Don’t make such a scary face!” she jested while ducking her head. “Well … I don’t think I should explain myself without some kind of compensation, so let me add a little condition. If you answer my request, I will also answer your question.”

I tensed up, wary of what she was up to, but since there was no other way, I decided to accept her offer and asked, “What do you want?”

“Starting tomorrow, I want you to come here and be my model for a few days,” she said with a bewitching smile.

Her triumphant look sent a cold shiver down my spine, but I still nodded. “…Understood.”

My bad habit had gotten the better of me. While I was not happy with this outcome, I was not only itching to learn about her relation to Tsukimori, but I was also highly intrigued by her suspicious personality. Being able to spend more time with her was in line with my desire to know more about Misaki Takaoka.

== Part 3 ==

One day later in the morning, I entered the classroom and sat down in my seat, immediately after which Youko Tsukimori turned to me from the neighboring seat and asked, “How was your sermon?”

“I was reminded of how terrible I am at drawing and resolved to lay down my pen once and for all.”

“What else?”

“…There was nothing else. Takaoka-sensei simply advised me to show some motivation regardless of my actual skill and my indifferent stance toward art.”

She closely gazed at me with her well-shaped eyes that were framed by long eyelashes, but once she heard my explanation, she abruptly ended our conversation with a blunt and disinterested, “If you say so.”

Later that day, after school, Tsukimori brushed up her black hair while saying, “Let’s go, Nonomiya-kun,” as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“No,” I countered in a blunt tone of voice. “Can you tell Mr. Kujirai that I’m taking today off again?”

Tsukimori’s eyes narrowed like a decrescent moon. “…I know it’s a silly question, but certainly you do not have an appointment with Takaoka-sensei, right?”

Her reaction was quite understandable, since I had only just met that woman teacher the day before.

“What if I do? It’s none of your business.”

My reply wound up being harsher than intended, although I didn’t know if that was because of my conscience or her poignant look.

“I apologize if you have taken offense. I did not mean to meddle in your social affairs,” she said and then gave me a faint smile. “But I would like you to remember ''who'' is going to explain the reason for your absence to ‘Mirai-san’—”

I covered my face in shock.

''“Nonomiya, you bloody slacker! Thinking you’re cut above us, eh?”''

A loud roar reverberated in my mind. I had almost forgotten … there was no way in hell Mirai-san would let me get away with not showing up for work two days in a row without a convincing reason. She’s a lot more bossy than Mr. Kujirai even though she’s not even a salaried staff. If I were Saruwatari-san, I’d get beaten up the next day for sure.

“But let’s see … I do not endorse this kind of thing, but since it’s you, Nonomiya-kun, I could brush it over if you wish me to. I do think that I deserve to know the truth, though. Don’t you agree?”

Her request was justified – I was supposed to treat her with all possible sincerity in exchange for giving her the dangerous task of negotiating with the “beast.”

“…I have to take extra lessons in fine arts because my grades are extremely bad.”

All sincerity aside, the actual reason revolved around Tsukimori herself, so I couldn’t possibly tell her the truth. Knowing how sharp-witted she was, she was bound to see through my improvised explanation, but I had no choice but to adhere to my excuse.

“Uh-huh? Is this how you return a favor, Nonomiya-kun? Fine. I have my ways, too,” she said as she threw her feminine hips to the side while scowling at me.

It was rare for her to show her discontent so overtly when she would usually always play the understanding girl regardless of how she really felt. While I couldn’t tell whether she was pulling an act or genuinely unhappy, it was certainly the first time I had seen her like this.

“There is absolutely no need to worry, Nonomiya-kun – I’ll tell Mirai-san that you are busy making out with your pretty and super-sexy fine arts instructor.”

“H-Hold on! There are things that you just don’t joke about, and you know that!”

“Oh my, today is going to be a busy day. Because of a certain unanticipated absence, I will have to wait all tables on my own again.”

Tsukimori left the classroom with a parting shot that was dripping with sarcasm.

The mere thought of my next time at work was giving me a headache.

I could not disagree with a certain girl’s assessment of Misaki Takaoka as a pretty and super-sexy instructor. That said, the kind of thing that this certain girl had pictured to herself did not occur even once.

“Takaoka-sensei…”

“…Stay still, Nonomiya-kun, we’re almost done. Be a good boy and hang in there for a moment.”

Since I was posing as a model, I was not even allowed to speak, let alone move. Apparently, Misaki Takaoka diverged from her norm when it came to art and turned dead-serious.

''Oh boy, I didn’t know that posing was so tiresome.''

While she was drawing me for about an hour each time, I dearly regretted accepting her request without thinking it through.

By the time she called it a day, my limbs would be numb and my neck stiff. I would move like an unoiled robot when I stood up from the pedestal. “Haha! Just look at you!” she would then laugh at me. I felt humiliated.

On the other hand, I had no other choice but to swallow it, since finishing the sketch of me was the condition she had imposed upon me.

However, the time we spent chit-chatting before heading home proved to be immensely worthwhile and was the saving grace for me.

“Notice how Usami-chan refuses to change the way she draws even if it means to disregard the overall balance of the drawing. She’s actually pretty stubborn – the type of person that has a very narrow view once she gets absorbed. But putting it another way, she is very pure and loyal. It’s totally understandable that a straightforward girl like her would be loved by everyone.”

The way that Misaki Takaoka observed people through their drawings was unique and extremely interesting. I had been a fool to avoid her because she seemed troublesome, when she was really such an interesting person.

However, that was a matter for itself and had nothing to do with my real objective. I was here to find out what this instructor knew about Youko Tsukimori.

What was she going to tell me about Tsukimori’s parents…?

While I still could not grasp Misaki Takaoka’s personality, I was quite sure that she would not say something that was off the mark, considering her exceptional skill at human analysis. It was unclear whether she was on our side or not to begin with.

It all depended on her reply. Depending on what she knew, it was entirely possible for her to become my enemy.

However, that was only my ego speaking. I was not trying to be a hero who watches over Tsukimori from the shadows. What drove me was the simple desire to monopolize her secret.

—A few days passed like this without any noticeable trouble, until on the last day, an incident occurred. As a consequence, rumors started to spread out in school that made Misaki Takaoka and me out to be a couple.

That day I had been forced to be a statue for a longer time than usual. In fact, my limbs were so numb that I was starting to fear that I might actually turn into one. It was all because Misaki Takaoka had said that she might be able to finish her drawing at last.

“…Here we go! I’m done!”

Just when I was going to raise a complaint or two, I was finally released.

“Splendid, if I may say so myself. Come here, Nonomiya-kun, take a look!”

Who would have expected that? She was beckoning me over when she would usually refuse to show me the progress of her oil painting!

Needless to say, I was curious about how she had drawn me. I jumped to my feet … and a few moments later, the back of a chair bumped against the linoleum floor and a stiletto was flung through the air.

I had screwed up. Because of the long holding-still, my body felt stiff like that of a wooden doll and my legs had become disobedient as though they had taken roots – I immediately lost balance when I stood up and stumbled over. Of course, if that had been all, the case would have been closed right here, provided I was willing to accept an embarrassing mishap. However, the direction and the timing in which I stumbled were downright terrible.

The scene looked as though a student had let the reins of his sexual drive slacken and thrown himself at his sexy art teacher.

“…Aww, Nonomiya-kun, I didn’t expect you to be the aggressive type of guy,” the woman said with rapt eyes from below.

The soft touch on the palm of my hand, which seemed to engulf it, was probably due to her not wearing a bra.

“You want me to compensate you with my body? All right, I don’t mind giving the lead away once in a while, so strictly speaking, that’s fine with me!”

Yes – I was lying on top of Misaki Takaoka’s luscious body that was as soft as a feather pillow.

[[File:Gekkou_ss2_part-3.jpg|thumb]]

The buttons of her shirt must have come undone during the fall – her soft breasts were making themselves mightily noticeable by almost bursting free. Her bare thighs had become visible from under her turned-up skirt – which was short enough as it was – and depending on the position of my face, I could be sure to catch a glimpse of the cloth hiding further inside.

“…I-I’m sorry.”

I tried lifting my upper body, but still numbed, it would not obey its master. And then, as if to ridicule me, “Excuse me, is Takaoka-sensei ther—” a girl student walked in on us at the worst thinkable time.

It goes without saying that the rumors of our “forbidden affair” had spread like wildfire by the day that followed.

Kamokawa’s guys-alliance welcomed me with disgusting smiles, asking me to “come over for a moment”, just to start pestering me with all sorts of questions. Usami, on the other hand, ranted and raved at me, saying that I were “a tits maniac after all” and calling me “lewd” and “pervy” for it. And if that hadn’t been enough, the vice-principal summoned me via the PA system and gave Misaki Takaoka and me a lengthy sermon.

As for Youko Tsukmori, she walked up to me and whispered in my ear, “An accident, hm? Do you think I would buy that story? I mean … you also pushed me over once, didn’t you?” I didn’t know how to respond to ''that''.

A few days after that unfortunate accident at the art preparation room:

“You had quite some bad luck there,” Misaki Takaoka laughed, to which I replied, “…Please don’t act like you were not part of it.”

I was clearly not as assertive as usual – I was fed up with the fuss. Why did I have to get into such trouble?

While it was true that I had been a bit careless, it was just an accident for the most part. I was out of luck indeed.

== Part 4 ==

It had been a week since I’d last shown up at Victoria.

Mr. Kujirai and Saruwatari-san welcomed me with a warm “long time no see,” whereas Mirai-san gave me a rough “Nonomiya, you bloody slacker! Thinking you’re cut above us, eh?” Just as expected.

I had mentally prepared myself for all kinds of snappy remarks from Mirai-san. In fact, her bluntness and straightforward attitude was so much easier to deal with in comparison to how a certain someone treated me.

Yes, what really caused me quite a headache was Youko Tsukimori’s attitude. She was giving me the silent treatment.

Neither did she greet me nor did she say a single sarcastic remark – she just silently did her job as a waitress and treated me like air.

I wondered if Tsukimori was still mad at me for pushing Misaki Takaoka over even though I had laid it out to her that it was an accident.

I concluded that it would be a bad idea to make a fuss about whether it was true or not, and therefore decided to let her be until she was back to normal.

However, when she said goodbye to the other staff and left the staff room without exchanging a single word with me all day, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“You’re being unreasonable. Your attitude isn’t going to achieve anything,” I said when I discovered her slender silhouette in a gloomy side alley that led to the station.

Just looking at her back made her displeasure obvious. Giving free rein to her emotions was really unlike her; her attitude struck me as really chldish for someone who usually kept a cool head and appeared to be perfect in every way.

“I’m not in the mood for playing cat-and-mouse with you. It’s a waste of time,” I added.

I couldn’t help but feel that there was some kind of “catch” behind her unusual behavior.

“If you want to say something, then get it off your chest!” I tried demanding an explanation for her puzzling attitude while walking along after catching up with her, but all I got to hear were her steady footsteps echoing through the alley.

Slightly irritated, I grabbed her hand. However, she shook my hand off without saying a word or even looking at me, and just kept walking toward the station.

As I gazed at my empty palm, I clicked my tongue. ''What am I doing? I look like some pathetic guy who’s clinging to his ex-girlfriend. Without success.''

“What have I done to deserve this…?” Fed up with looking like a fool, I stopped following her. But I couldn’t do without a last remark to quieten my irritation. “If you want to blame me, then please do so to your heart’s content! However, listen carefully: I swear on my pride that I’m innocent!”

My voice reverberated through the side alley. Yelling at somebody without the hope for a response was an absolutely miserable experience.

Right after I had turned around, I heard quick footsteps approaching me from behind. Before I even had a chance to turn around, she pulled me toward her by my necktie.

Right before my eyes was an unfamiliar girl. The girl gazed up at me and said:

“Why…? Why do you not understand?”

Of course, it was Youko Tsukimori, but the expression on her face was so unlike her that I couldn’t shake off the impression that I was facing someone else. She looked almost like a second Chinatsu Usami.

“You really don’t understand how a girl’s heart works,” the girl said as she cast a pouty upward glance at me, blew out her slightly flushed cheeks, and pursed her lips. It was the kind of childish, sulky face that Usami would often make.

But the person before my eyes was not Usami. It was Youko Tsukimori, the well-behaved and talented beauty whom everyone admired.

Quite honestly, I was clueless. I was so mystified that I was starting to become terrified.

“Nonomiya-kun? Answer me … why did you meet up with Misaki-sensei again after that incident?”

“I…” I was at a loss for words.

“Won’t you explain it to me…? Are you hiding things from me again?”

Her upright look was hard to endure.

There was only a single reason why I had gone to see Misaki Takaoka: to have her keep her side of the bargain that had been in limbo. However, I couldn’t possibly let Tsukimori know that.

“Nonomiya-kun, have you perhaps fallen in love with…”

All of a sudden, my blood started to boil. ''Enough is enough,'' I thought.

“…Even if that were true, why should I care about your opinion?”

I was sick and tired. Wasn’t Youko Tsukimori the source of everything? Because of her I had posed against my will, ended up in the center of a nerve-racking commotion, and went to meet Misaki Takaoka before the rumors had cooled off.

“—Did you just ask ‘why’?” she countered promptly. Her face then drew so near to mine that I could count every single one of her long eyelashes and clearly recognized the glitter of her round black eyes. “If you think you will not regret it, then I shall gladly explain it to you in ''every'' detail and make sure that you will never ever again ask me that question.”

I swallowed my saliva. I saw raw pressure before my eyes. If the usual Tsukimori was freezing ice, the Tsukimori now was burning dry ice.

“Did you know? I happen to be a really bothersome girl—”

As she said so, Tsukimori placed her free hand on the knot of my necktie and pulled vigorously at the tie.

Having my throat corded, I crouched down and let out a groan.

“—I might no longer be able to hold myself back if I told you that reason. However, if you are willing to sacrifice your future, then I will gladly explain myself.”

Youko Tsukimori formed a crescent-shaped smile as she looked down at me coughing. As I tried to calm down my wild breath, I gazed absent-mindedly at the licentious girl before me. My heart was thumping away in my chest.

Youko Tsukimori was not normal. But for some reason she didn’t seem crazy to me, either.

Perhaps because I was – crazy in a way myself.

“…I am sorry, Nonomiya-kun. Something is wrong with me. Please forget what happened tonight,” she suddenly said, breaking the silence and ducking her head in shame.

She then brushed up her black hair with an elegant motion, and when I looked at her again, standing there was the composed Youko Tsukimori I had come to know.

“See you tomorrow,” she said in the usual, calm manner, and left as if nothing had happened. I was still thunderstruck as I gazed at her slender silhouette that was slowly distancing itself from me.

It was then that I suddenly started to wonder how well I actually knew the person that was Youko Tsukimori.

I had been under the impression that I knew her quite well, but perhaps I had only gotten to see a fraction of her true nature.

While I gazed at the silver crescent moon hanging high up in the sky, I reflected upon this with a somewhat absent mind.

== Part 5 ==

There was no conversation between Tsukimori and me when I went to school the following day. We did greet each other, but I avoided any further contact with her. It was most likely the same for her; we didn’t exactly ''ignore'' each other nor were we angry.

I can’t speak for Tsukimori, but I, on my part, was unsure about how to approach her because of the impact the incident last night had on me.

While I had been operating for Youko Tsukimori’s sake, she had never asked me for it. I had been doing it of my own accord.

A few days passed during which we put a distance between each other. I was strangely timid and even Tsukimori acted somewhat awkward.

When we went to work, we did so separately. Because of that, I only learned of her absence that day after I had arrived at Victoria.

“Hm? Youko didn’t tell you anything even though you’re in the same freaking class? Anyways, she’s gonna take a few days off because of some personal business!”

''What kind of business might that be?'' I started to ponder. In the meantime, Mirai-san flashed a teasing smile and continued:

“Speaking of which – I heard you had some fun making out with some sexy school staff, eh?”

“…Who told you?”

“Riko.”

''Dammit, that girl<ref>Riko Saiketei is the protagonist of ''Hennai Psychedelic'', which is a series by the author that plays in the same world.
</ref>. Poking her nose into everything again.''

“Well, pal, it sounds like Youko’s done with you,” Mirai-san said.

“Done? We’re just classmates and workmates. Nothing more.”

“Listen, you’re bound to be at fault here, so go beg her forgiveness and bring her back to Victoria ASAP, okay?”

With these words Mirai-san gave me a mighty clap on the back. An ''ugh'' slipped out of my mouth from deep within. Unable to bear up with the pain, I squatted down.

“It’s no fun if Youko ain’t here! Hurry up and make peace with her!” she said with an oppressive voice from above.

''How is this fair?'' When I let my gaze wander about with half-open eyes, I spotted Mr. Kujirai and Saruwatari-san hiding in a corner of the kitchen. When our eyes met, they immediately looked away.

Much to everyone’s chagrin, there was no one who could offer resistance to Mirai Samejima’s tyranny, save for Tsukimori who wasn’t here.

A day later, at the classroom. I was waiting for a chance to talk to Tsukimori.

To prevent misunderstandings: not because of Mirai-san and thus not to apologize to her. I was simply curious. Curious about what was important enough to skip work.

While watching her, I made a little observation. A subtle change in her attitude, which I would have not noticed normally, caught my attention.

Tsukimori was oddly restless.

For instance, she kept making sure of the time during our classes, and she failed even twice at her usual pencil flipping. Her demeanor was riddled with subtle irregularities.

As the school bell announced the lunch break, Tsukimori stood up and silently left the classroom. This was smelling to high heaven. Without a second of hesitation, I decided to pursue her.

Her destination turned out to be the staff room. For a second, I thought she had been summoned by a teacher, but it was very unlikely that someone as well-behaving as Tsukimori would get the kind of summoning that would leave her unsettled.

After I had kept an eye on the door to the staff room for a while from afar, Tsukimori came out in the company of a female teacher. That moment, I felt as if my heart began to flutter.

“…Why is Tsukimori together with ''that woman''?!” I asked myself and clicked my tongue in annoyance. On the other side of my gaze stood Misaki Takaoka with a bewitching smile.

The two of them started to move. I followed them while keeping a secure distance to stay unnoticed.

They walked for a while and eventually stopped at the entrance designated for visitors. Misaki Takaoka asked Tsukimori to take a seat, upon which they both sat down in a leather sofa. There was nobody nearby except for the two of them.

“…This is a great spot at this time of the day if you want to be alone,” I heard the teacher say as I hid behind a pillar, eavesdropping on them. My heart was pounding as though I had just finished a race. “By the way, I take it you’ve finally made up your mind, now that you’ve come to visit me?”

“…Yes. If you hold your promise and tell me everything you know, Misaki-sensei.”

Misaki Takaoka wore a broad, content smile on her face. Youko Tsukimori, on the other hand, presented herself oddly docile. ''Is she tense…?''

“Also,” Tsukimori continued, “do keep all of this a secret from Nonomiya-kun.”

“Oh…? Really? Well, if that’s what you want.”

My head started to spin and fume in an attempt to make sense of their ambiguous conversation.

“Okay, Tsukimori-san, see you after school then,”

“Yes … um, we meet at … the preparation room, right?”

They closed their conversation like that and parted.

Even after they were gone, I found myself unable to move from the spot for a while. No matter how I pieced together the bits I had overheard, I always arrived at the worst conclusion.

Namely, the conclusion that Misaki Takaoka had approached Youko Tsukimori on the matter of her parents’ death.

I immediately turned mad at Misaki Takaoka for confronting Tsukimori with that matter, but then I realized that she had never promised not to. I had no one to direct my anger at.

I recalled the conversation between Misaki Takaoka and me that had taken place a few days earlier. She had fulfilled her part of the deal, although a bit late because of the commotion.

As soon as the commotion had finally started to abate, I had sneaked into the art preparation room.

If anyone saw me like this, the rumors of Misaki Takaoka and my affair were sure to catch fire again, but I wanted to learn what she knew about Tsukimori’s parents as soon as possible.

After I prompted her to fulfill her promise, Misaki Takaoka showed two sketches to me. They were by Tsukimori and they were the ones I had already seen. One of them depicted Usami and the other one depicted me.

“Haven’t you already shown these to me?” My wary question was answered with a smirk on her part. At first, I felt a bit offended, but when the woman explained it to me, I lost my tongue.

“To tell the truth, these two sketches were drawn before and after Tsukimori’s ‘plight.’ Can you tell which is which, Nonomiya-kun?”

I reluctantly asked in response, “Can you…?”

Misaki Takaoka shrugged and shook her head. For a reason I did not know, that made my skin crawl.

“Of course, it’s easy to see from the date on the back, but I can’t make out the difference by looking at her art. That’s downright impossible. For a normal girl her age, something as trivial as lovesickness is enough to make a drawing ooze with all kinds of emotions! Now if you substitute that with the loss of one’s parents, there should absolutely be some kind of change, don’t you agree?”

She let out a faint laugh.

“…What on earth happened to Tsukimori-san? How could she keep a perfectly even temper despite losing her parents in quick succession…? Nonomiya-kun, do you know anything?”

I swallowed my saliva, confronted with her predatory smile.

“…I’m afraid not. I have no clue.” I was bewildered, of course, but at the same time I was also relieved. “All I know is that Youko Tsukimori is not your common girl,” I replied and pretended to be at my wit’s end.

“Haha,” she giggled. “Yeah, she’s everything but common. You don’t often see someone who’s that pretty and perfect at the same time,” she laughed contentedly.

Just like a certain frivolous police detective had been alarmed by his sixth’ sense that Youko Tsukimori was too perfect, Misaki Takaoka had noticed her unnaturalness through art.

However, that was not enough to solve the mystery surrounding Youko Tsukimori. At the very least, it was not worth as much as the Murder Recipe I had found.

Moreover, she was ultimately just an art instructor, so there was no reason for me to harbor any fears.

My bad hunch had been dispelled.

…And yet, Misaki Takaoka’s alarming words and Youko Tsukimori’s strange behavior were preying on my mind.

As the woman had said herself, Tsukimori had appeared perfectly composed even when she lost her parents. A lot was required for her to ever expose her feelings so overtly.

It was still understandable if she opened herself to me, but it was absolutely ludicrous for her to do so in front of everyone.

Suddenly, I recalled what Misaki Takaoka said at the end of our conversation.

''“It makes sense that everyone feels attracted to her. After all, she caught my interest as well. But I bet it’s useless to approach her up-front. I mean, she’s a prodigy in concealing her true thoughts. Mind telling me how you broke through to her, Nonomiya-kun?”''

At the time, I hadn’t taken her seriously and brushed her off, but thinking back at it now, she must have come up with a special, non-straightforward way of taking on Youko Tsukimori.

''Anyway, I have no other choice but to wait until school’s over and see for myself,'' I told myself to calm down.

== Part 6 ==

After school was over, I pursued Tsukimori. She was headed to the art preparation room as I had overheard earlier that day.

Shortly after she entered the room, the door was locked with a click, which struck me as an ominous sound. After making sure that I was alone, I walked up to the door, pressed my ear against it and held my breath.

“…Great to have you, Tsukimori-san. Let’s start right away, but let me warn you: I will not hold back.”

“…Misaki-sensei, please wait.”

“…What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you changed your mind?”

“…No, just give me a second to prepare myself mentally.”

Because of the door separating us, I had trouble picking up on their conversation even though they were a lot closer than at noon.

“…Hmm, Tsukimori-san. I’m sorry to say this, but you’re past the point of no return. See, even I have a few things that I’m not willing to give up.”

“…I understand. It is the same for me.”

The sound disappeared. I was dying to know where they stood and what their expressions looked like. Not only from their exchange of words but also from the tone of her voice, it was apparent that Tsukimori was tense.

The silence continued for a while. Because I was so focused on not missing anything, I could clearly perceive the sounds from the school yard, the footsteps and voices of the students who were on their way home. Even worse, my heart was thumping so hard that the heartbeat struck me as noisy and I started to get the illusion of hearing the blood flowing through my veins and the sweat sliding down my skin.

It was then that thanks to my sharpened senses, I could detect someone coming my way ahead of time. I sped away from the door, hurried to the next window and pretended to be fiddling with my cell phone.

After a few moments, the janitor of our school crossed the corridor behind me.

I let out a sigh of relief and resumed perking up my ears.

“…Are you afraid?”

“…Huh?”

“…Aw, you’re not self-aware, are you? Tsukimori-san … you’re trembling, you know?”

I tensed up. What on earth was going on inside?

“…Heh, I didn’t expect a Miss Perfect like you to have such a cute side,” the woman laughed dryly. “…I would love to show this little girl here to Nonomiya-kun.”

The peculiar sound of stilettos on linoleum leaked out from the room.

“…Hm … you’re too self-controlled.”

“…I am afraid to say that I have never done this before, so I can’t…”

“…It might be easier if you showed all of yourself?”

“…Huh? …Misaki-sensei…?”

“…It’s okay. Leave everything to me. I will free you.”

“…No … Misaki-sensei … please, don’t come any clo—KYA!”

Tsukimori screamed. In that very moment, I started up with incredible speed and grabbed the doorknob to step in, just to remember that the door was locked when I was about to pull.

There were two ways leading into the art preparation room – if I couldn’t enter here, I had to use the other door.

I immediately rushed to the entrance of the art room, which was situated a few meters from where I was standing. I grabbed the handle and pulled. “…This must be a bad joke.” Alas, the door to the art room was locked.

For a moment I considered just breaking through the door, but sadly, the odds were against me, considering my physique. Besides, my greatest fear was that making fuss could worsen Tsukimori’s situation.

''What should I do? Fetch a spare key at the staff room? No, not realistic. I don’t have a reason to get them, and it would take too long.''

Staying put was not going to help, either. I got moving and ran outside to take a look at the windows. Perhaps I was so lucky as to find one of them to be open.

I arrived outside, catching for breath, and was confronted with the harshness of reality. ''Curse this stupid world!''

With a single glance I realized that all windows were locked and was stricken by despair and helplessness. I hoped to at least catch a glimpse of what was going on inside, but the view was obstructed by a thick curtain.

Anxiety of the hidden. Fear of the unknown. Only negative images crossed my mind.

For example – the image starts with a beautiful woman teacher caressing a beautiful girl student in the evening light, after which she proceeds to use her extensive knowledge to expose the innocent girl’s naked body and eventually lead her up the stairway of adulthood – I lost my composure just picturing it.

“…Wait?”

''Is it really just a coincidence? Isn’t Misaki Takaoka the one who locked all windows? Isn’t all of this a vicious trap she has set up?''

''Perhaps, Tsukimori has been her target from the very beginning and I was just a tool for her scheme? She must be using me to threaten and constrain Tsukimori in some way. I can’t think of another possibility that would explain why Youko Tsukimori – a girl I consider to be perfect in every imaginable way – would behave so uneasy and speak in such a tense manner.''

''What do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do?''

The decision I made the next instant was bold and untypical for me.

I swiftly took off my shirt, formed a bag and tossed a few stones into it that were rolling around by my feet. I then tied the ends together and slammed the package of stones against one of the windows to the art room.

The glass shattered with a deafening ''clang''. I thrust my arm through the hole, opened the window and jumped inside. Without missing a beat, I slammed open the door to the preparation room.

“Tsukimori!”

The two girls spun around to me and gave me bewildered looks.

“………Huh?”

There are phrases like “Is this reality?” or “I feel like I’m dreaming” that are used by people who are taken by utter surprise, and indeed, I felt just like that. I even considered pinching myself.

Beautiful and white. Before me I saw an other-worldly piece of art that was devoid of filth and driven to perfection.

To put the situation in simple terms—

———–Youko Tsukimori was naked.

More precisely, ahead of me was Youko Tsukimori, and she was posing a mermaid that was washed ashore on a pedestal that was covered with a long fur, and her body was cloaked in a white cloth, but because the cloth was translucent, she was effectively naked.

[[File:Gekkou_ss2_part-6.jpg|thumb]]

Very well, I thought that I was at the peak of my surprise, but the reaction she showed then made my heart-strings thrill even more than her nude.

''Youko Tsukimori'' blushed red like a tomato the moment she noticed my glance.

She squatted down and turned away, showing her milky white back to me.

The best measure I could take in this situation was to leave as quickly as possible, but I wasn’t able to move from the spot.

I found myself unable to focus on anything but Youko Tsukimori.

At last, the squatting girl let out a thin voice.

“…Nonomiya-kun…”

“…Hm…?”

“…Please leave…”

“…Ah, I’m … I’m sorry.”

A half-naked boy was apologizing to a fully naked girl. It was a truly a queer sight to behold.

A moment later, dry laughter reverberated through the preparation room. Before I stepped out of the room, I turned my head and saw Misaki Takaoka laughing loudly with tears in her eyes and pounding her fists on the table.

“Great job, Nonomiya-kun!”

I could understand why she would laugh. I would have laughed as well – if I hadn’t been involved.

There is a phrase like “I wish the ground would open and swallow me up” that is used by people in horribly embarrassing situations, and indeed, I felt just like that. I wanted the ground to swallow me up and keep me there for the rest of my life.

I was riding my bicycle through town and bathing in the light of the setting sun. The pedals felt heavier than usual.

Behind me sat a Youko Tsukimori who was as quiet as a mouse. I could understand. No one could behave normal after such a shock.

''I’m not one to talk, though.''

I may have sworn to never let her on my bicycle again, but today I was wholly thankful to have her sit on the carrier – this way, I didn’t have to look her in the face.

As it turned out, all my fears had been groundless and it had been just me reading too much into everything.

Misaki Takaoka had been interested in Tsukimori for a longer time – to have her pose for her. Nude. As someone who was not willing to make any compromises when it came to art, she could not possibly let a potential, charming model like Tsukimori slip and had tried to make a deal with her several times in order to make the resulting drawing the highlight of her exhibition.

It was still a riddle to me what kind of deal they had eventually agreed on – they both refused to tell me – but in the end, Tsukimori agreed to pose nude.

To explain her antsy behavior that day, Tsukimori said, “Believe it or not, but I am actually a frail and faint-hearted girl.” Whether or not she was “frail and faint-hearted” was a subject for debate, but apparently she had been nervous about posing in the nude.

“I was just getting into it and then you come butting in and spoil the show. Doesn’t look like Tsukimori-san is in a condition to continue, so I guess we have to call it a day.”

I was in no position to defend myself, so I ended up keeping quiet and being scolded by Misaki Takaoka. It was also she who commanded me to bring Tsukimori home on my bicycle.

By breaking that window I had apparently struck a responsive chord in a woman’s heart. “I have to give you credit for that, though, Nonomiya-kun! ''That’s'' what I expect the stronger sex to be like!” She turned a blind eye on it.

About 10 minutes had passed since we started riding the bicycle.

“…Nonomiya-kun? You have a weak spot for women like Misaki-sensei … don’t you?” the girl behind me asked out of the blue.

“…In a way, I suppose I do.”

I did not usually answer personal questions readily like that, but it was not the kind of situation to say “no.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Enjoy what…?”

“Did you enjoy touching the breasts of the woman you love so much? Misaki-sensei told me. You touched hers, right?”

''Damn. That stupid woman opened her big mouth.''

“…No, as I explained you several times, it was an accident. An unavoidable mishap.”

“Mmm…?” she muttered and stayed silent for a few moments. After a while, she suddenly whispered, “…Did you like it?”

“…Like what?”

I think I knew what she was talking about, but I dearly hoped I was wrong.

“My body.”

While I figured that a cheap excuse like ''Didn’t look closely. Don’t know,'' was not going to cut it, I had no clue what else to say. If anything, I was probably supposed to praise her, but I was way too embarrassed to do that.

“So, did you like it?” she repeated to break my silence. This time around, her question sounded a bit teasing.

“…No comment.”

“That will not do. I don’t want to come away empty-handed even though I exposed my body,” she said and leaned forward. “Do you understand the graveness of this matter, Nonomiya-kun? It was the first time in my life that a male saw me naked, you know? You were my first time.”

I couldn’t help coughing.

“…Would you stop phrasing it like that? Anyway, this was also just an accident. The same thing as if a dog had bitten you. We would both be best off if we simply forgot about it.”

“A dog, yes? You are one talkative dog, aren’t you? Shall I become your mistress and tame you to an obedient pet dog?”

“…The dog that is kept by you must be truly happy. Well, I am human, so it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Well, we’ll get back to that another time.”

A most alarming whisper reached my ears. I sincerely hoped I had misheard her.

“Anyway,” she continued. “I can’t let you go without telling me your impression. So, did you like my body?”

“…I’ll come up with an answer until tomorrow.”

“No,” she said and clang to me from behind. My heart missed a beat as I felt Youko Tsukimori’s soft body pressed against mine.

''She did that before, but I don’t remember her to be that soft…''

“…To tell you the truth, Nonomiya-kun, I am – braless right now.”

Because of the shocking fact she whispered into my ear, I accidentally lost control of the bicycle and swayed left and right for a few meters.

“I may lose to Misaki-sensei, but mine are pretty good, too, aren’t they?”

I fully agreed with her, but my pride stopped me from saying it.

“…I get it, so get off me already.”

“As soon as you tell me your thoughts on my body,” she said and clung to me even tighter. Because I now knew the reason, her awfully soft touch was turning from a stimulus to deadly poison for me, a healthy high schooler.

I wavered between pushing her down from the carrier and just answering her question. Eventually…

“…Yeah, well, you’re pretty … I guess?”

I made the bitter decision of sacrificing my own pride in order to maintain an ethically respectable position.

“Hm…? What did you just say, Nonomiya-kun? This shopping district is so noisy, I’m afraid I did not understand you. Would you be so kind as to repeat yourself for me?”

Obviously, I had better pushed her down my bicycle even if it meant to ignore the principles of humanity. She was flat out lying – she sounded happy, after all.

I let out a theatrical sigh and repeated myself.

“…I said, um, that you’re pretty for crying out loud!”

My yell echoed through the twilit shopping district. I stopped caring.

Thanks to that, the students and salarymen who were on their way home, and the housewives who were doing the shopping, all turned around to me at once.

I quickly started to pedal with all my might to get out of this district as fast as possible.

Once we reached a relatively silent place, I finally slowed down again and tried to calm down my breathing.

“…Hey, that’s not what we agreed on.”

She was still tightly clinging to me.

I waited for a few moments, but there was no reply. Just when I was about to open my mouth to complain some more, I looked at her reflection in a show window and fell quiet.

In the show window – was a girl smiling blissfully. I had never seen Youko Tsukimori like this before.

While I was not smart enough to tell if she was smiling from heart or just acting like always, I felt rewarded either way and didn’t really care. After all, I had gotten to see a new side of hers. However, the sentence that then escaped her lips left me completely dumbfounded.

Well, perhaps the appropriate reaction would have been laughing, because if it was a joke, it was an excellent one.

“I am overjoyed to get your praise, Nonomiya-kun. Am I not a—”

She pressed her body tightly against mine and whispered into my ear.

“—simple girl?”

<references />

{{GekkouNavbar}}

Gekkou

2016-01-17T20:54:38Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Short Stories */

[[Image:Gekkou.jpg|thumb|Cover|250px]]

Gekkou is available in the following languages:
*[[Gekkou (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Gekkou_~Brazilian_Portuguese~|Português do Brasil (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Gekkou_~_(Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Gekkou_Tiếng_Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Gekkô ~ Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Gekkou ~ Myanmar|ျမန္မာ (Myanmar)]]
*[[Gekkou_(Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]

Gekkou (月光 "Moonlight") is a light novel written by Natsuki Mamiya (間宮夏生) and illustrated by Shiromiso (白味噌).

==Story Synopsis==
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; border-radius: 4px; border: 1px solid darkblue; padding: 5px;" title="Gekkou MAD">[[File:Gekkou_mad.jpg|300px|link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjT8Cn26QYk]]</div>
Gekkou, or "Moonlight", is about the peculiar relationship between a cynical boy and a perfect girl.

Said cynical boy is Nonomiya who spends day in day out in boredom, taking refuge from his dull life in his imagination. One fateful day, he happens upon the notebook of the much-rumored beauty Youko Tsukimori, neglected on the ground. Poking out from it is a scrap of paper with the unexpected title "Murder Recipe". His interest ignited, he immediately stuffs it into his pocket, only to find out the promising recipe contains nothing but scenarios that may or may not lead to deadly accidents, not even worthy of being called a plan.

When he tentatively asks her about it the next day, she hasn't lost anything. But then her father dies. An accident...
<div style="clear: both;"></div>

==Character Introduction==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Nonomiya
[[Image:Gekkou_Nonomiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A cross-grained and cynical boy who wishes to break out of his boring everyday life.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Youko Tsukimori
[[Image:Gekkou_Tsukimori.jpg|left|link=]]
A mysterious girl who appears to be the embodiment of perfection, gifted with outstanding beauty and excellent grades. One day she suddenly starts to show interest in Nonomiya, but...
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Chizuru Usami
[[Image:Gekkou_Usami.jpg|left|link=]]
A straightforward girl and classmate of Nonomiya's. She seems to be attracted to him...?
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Mirai Samejima
[[Image:Gekkou_Mirai.jpg|left|link=]]
A senior at Nonomiya's workplace and claims to be a university student. Though she has pretty looks, her abrasive and self-centered personality makes her hard to get close to.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Konan
[[Image:Gekkou_Konan.jpg|left|link=]]
A police detective who is as frivolous as he looks. An incident links his and Nonomiya's lives and marks the start of a singular rivalry.
</div>
 
</div>

== Format Standards ==
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must conform to the agreed points highlighted in the below guidelines'''
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]

== Updates ==
* 14th October 2012 - Gekkou first short story completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project started

==Gekkou ([[Gekkou:Volume 1|Full Text]] - [http://www.mediafire.com/?yisgzdg33dy2qla PDF] - [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=60&t=4761&p=129889 ePUB])==

*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Illustrations|Illustrations]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe|Murder Recipe]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Live|Live]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession|Confession]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café|In The Café]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate|Bitter Chocolate]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare|Sweet Nightmare]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine|Orange & Wine]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Cigarette Tiger|Cigarette Tiger]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Hesitation|Hesitation]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye|Bye-Bye]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Moonlight|Moonlight]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

==Short Stories==
* [[Gekkou: Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold|Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold]] [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?a767ne1vrzuwd2x (PDF)]
* [[Gekkou: The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose|The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose]] [http://www.mediafire.com/download/qfd9ynppfw6k2ll/gekkou_ss2.pdf (PDF)] [http://youko.is.totally.moe/gekkou.epub (ePUB)]

==Project Staff==

*Supervisor:
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translators===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[User:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

===Forum thread===
If you want to leave any comments / rants, visit [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=4405 the Gekkou thread]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 月光 (September 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4048687225)

== Additional Information ==
* http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/間宮夏生 (Author @ Japanese Wikipedia)
* http://ghostplan0810.blog37.fc2.com/ (Natsuki Mamiya's personal blog)
* http://twitter.com/Maminatu (Natsuki Mamiya's Twitter account)
* http://mangastore.pl/gekkou-p-1237.html (Official Polish release of Gekkou)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Oneshot]]
[[Category:Natsuki Mamiya]]

[[Category:Genre - Comedy]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]

User talk:EusthEnoptEron

2016-01-16T23:14:49Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Permission for a Turkish translation of Tabi ni Deyou, Horibiku Sekai no Hate Made. */

User:EusthEnoptEron

2016-01-16T12:08:48Z

EusthEnoptEron:

/me is EusthEnoptEron, also called EEE, Eusth, Euener, Q/0g656VTc, or E-tan. Choose your flavor.

Languages:
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0MreS3bWak#t=19 Swiss] German (bad skills) 
* English (very bad skills) 
* Japanese (horrible skills) 
* French (hopeless skills)

Lists:
* [http://book.akahoshitakuya.com/u/49530/booklist Light Novels I've read] ([http://zomg.ch/novels.jpg at a glance])
* [http://vndb.org/u415/list (Non-Nukige) Visual Novels I've read]

Favorite Authors:
* Hiro Arikawa
* Mado Nozaki
* Mizuhito Akiyama
* Eiji Mikage

Projects

<div style="margin: 10px;">
☑ [[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria]] 
☑ [[Gekkou]] 
☑ [[Tabi_ni_Deyou,_Horobiyuku_Sekai_no_Hate_Made|Our Journey to the End of the Ceasing World ]] 
☒ <del>[[Dantalian no Shoka]]</del> 
☐ [[Tsukumodo Antique Shop]] |■■■■□□□| 
☑ [[Kamisu Reina Series]]
</div>

<div style="width:370px; overflow: hidden; height: 272px; position: relative; top: 10px; float: left;">
<div style="position: relative; left: -20px;top: -239px;">
[[Image:UtsuroNoHako2_6.jpg|400px|link=]]
</div>
</div>

<div style="width:250px; overflow: hidden; height: 272px; float: left; position: relative; left: 20px; top: 10px; -webkit-transform: rotate(14deg); transform: rotate(14deg);">
<div style="position: relative; left: -150px;top: -319px;">
[[Image:Gekkou-002.jpg|400px|link=]]
</div>
<div style="position: absolute; width: 50px; height: 35px; background: white; bottom: 0; left: 0;"></div>
</div>

Gekkou

2016-01-16T11:54:56Z

EusthEnoptEron:

[[Image:Gekkou.jpg|thumb|Cover|250px]]

Gekkou is available in the following languages:
*[[Gekkou (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Gekkou_~Brazilian_Portuguese~|Português do Brasil (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Gekkou_~_(Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Gekkou_Tiếng_Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Gekkô ~ Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Gekkou ~ Myanmar|ျမန္မာ (Myanmar)]]
*[[Gekkou_(Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]

Gekkou (月光 "Moonlight") is a light novel written by Natsuki Mamiya (間宮夏生) and illustrated by Shiromiso (白味噌).

==Story Synopsis==
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; border-radius: 4px; border: 1px solid darkblue; padding: 5px;" title="Gekkou MAD">[[File:Gekkou_mad.jpg|300px|link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjT8Cn26QYk]]</div>
Gekkou, or "Moonlight", is about the peculiar relationship between a cynical boy and a perfect girl.

Said cynical boy is Nonomiya who spends day in day out in boredom, taking refuge from his dull life in his imagination. One fateful day, he happens upon the notebook of the much-rumored beauty Youko Tsukimori, neglected on the ground. Poking out from it is a scrap of paper with the unexpected title "Murder Recipe". His interest ignited, he immediately stuffs it into his pocket, only to find out the promising recipe contains nothing but scenarios that may or may not lead to deadly accidents, not even worthy of being called a plan.

When he tentatively asks her about it the next day, she hasn't lost anything. But then her father dies. An accident...
<div style="clear: both;"></div>

==Character Introduction==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Nonomiya
[[Image:Gekkou_Nonomiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A cross-grained and cynical boy who wishes to break out of his boring everyday life.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Youko Tsukimori
[[Image:Gekkou_Tsukimori.jpg|left|link=]]
A mysterious girl who appears to be the embodiment of perfection, gifted with outstanding beauty and excellent grades. One day she suddenly starts to show interest in Nonomiya, but...
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Chizuru Usami
[[Image:Gekkou_Usami.jpg|left|link=]]
A straightforward girl and classmate of Nonomiya's. She seems to be attracted to him...?
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Mirai Samejima
[[Image:Gekkou_Mirai.jpg|left|link=]]
A senior at Nonomiya's workplace and claims to be a university student. Though she has pretty looks, her abrasive and self-centered personality makes her hard to get close to.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Konan
[[Image:Gekkou_Konan.jpg|left|link=]]
A police detective who is as frivolous as he looks. An incident links his and Nonomiya's lives and marks the start of a singular rivalry.
</div>
 
</div>

== Format Standards ==
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must conform to the agreed points highlighted in the below guidelines'''
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]

== Updates ==
* 14th October 2012 - Gekkou first short story completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project started

==Gekkou ([[Gekkou:Volume 1|Full Text]] - [http://www.mediafire.com/?yisgzdg33dy2qla PDF] - [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=60&t=4761&p=129889 ePUB])==

*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Illustrations|Illustrations]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe|Murder Recipe]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Live|Live]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession|Confession]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café|In The Café]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate|Bitter Chocolate]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare|Sweet Nightmare]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine|Orange & Wine]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Cigarette Tiger|Cigarette Tiger]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Hesitation|Hesitation]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye|Bye-Bye]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Moonlight|Moonlight]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

==Short Stories==
* [[Gekkou: Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold|Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold]] [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?a767ne1vrzuwd2x (PDF)]
* [[Gekkou: The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose|The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose]] [http://youko.is.totally.moe/gekkou.epub (ePUB)]

==Project Staff==

*Supervisor:
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translators===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[User:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

===Forum thread===
If you want to leave any comments / rants, visit [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=4405 the Gekkou thread]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 月光 (September 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4048687225)

== Additional Information ==
* http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/間宮夏生 (Author @ Japanese Wikipedia)
* http://ghostplan0810.blog37.fc2.com/ (Natsuki Mamiya's personal blog)
* http://twitter.com/Maminatu (Natsuki Mamiya's Twitter account)
* http://mangastore.pl/gekkou-p-1237.html (Official Polish release of Gekkou)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Oneshot]]
[[Category:Natsuki Mamiya]]

[[Category:Genre - Comedy]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]

Gekkou

2016-01-16T11:42:35Z

EusthEnoptEron:

[[Image:Gekkou.jpg|thumb|Cover|250px]]

Gekkou is available in the following languages:
*[[Gekkou (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Gekkou_~Brazilian_Portuguese~|Português do Brasil (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Gekkou_~_(Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Gekkou_Tiếng_Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Gekkô ~ Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Gekkou ~ Myanmar|ျမန္မာ (Myanmar)]]
*[[Gekkou_(Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]

Gekkou (月光 "Moonlight") is a light novel written by Natsuki Mamiya (間宮夏生) and illustrated by Shiromiso (白味噌).

==Story Synopsis==
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; border-radius: 4px; border: 1px solid darkblue; padding: 5px;" title="Gekkou MAD">[[File:Gekkou_mad.jpg|300px|link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjT8Cn26QYk]]</div>
Gekkou, or "Moonlight", is about the peculiar relationship between a cynical boy and a perfect girl.

Said cynical boy is Nonomiya who spends day in day out in boredom, taking refuge from his dull life in his imagination. One fateful day, he happens upon the notebook of the much-rumored beauty Youko Tsukimori, neglected on the ground. Poking out from it is a scrap of paper with the unexpected title "Murder Recipe". His interest ignited, he immediately stuffs it into his pocket, only to find out the promising recipe contains nothing but scenarios that may or may not lead to deadly accidents, not even worthy of being called a plan.

When he tentatively asks her about it the next day, she hasn't lost anything. But then her father dies. An accident...
<div style="clear: both;"></div>

==Character Introduction==
<div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Nonomiya
[[Image:Gekkou_Nonomiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A cross-grained and cynical boy who wishes to break out of his boring everyday life.
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Youko Tsukimori
[[Image:Gekkou_Tsukimori.jpg|left|link=]]
A mysterious girl who appears to be the embodiment of perfection, gifted with outstanding beauty and excellent grades. One day she suddenly starts to show interest in Nonomiya, but...
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Chizuru Usami
[[Image:Gekkou_Usami.jpg|left|link=]]
A straightforward girl and classmate of Nonomiya's. She seems to be attracted to him...?
</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Mirai Samejima
[[Image:Gekkou_Mirai.jpg|left|link=]]
A senior at Nonomiya's workplace and claims to be a university student. Though she has pretty looks, her abrasive and self-centered personality makes her hard to get close to.
</div>
 
<div style="float: left; width: 350px; margin: 5px 20px;">
Konan
[[Image:Gekkou_Konan.jpg|left|link=]]
A police detective who is as frivolous as he looks. An incident links his and Nonomiya's lives and marks the start of a singular rivalry.
</div>
 
</div>

== Format Standards ==
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must conform to the agreed points highlighted in the below guidelines'''
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]

== Updates ==
* 14th October 2012 - Gekkou first short story completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project started

==Gekkou ([[Gekkou:Volume 1|Full Text]] - [http://www.mediafire.com/?yisgzdg33dy2qla PDF] - [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=60&t=4761&p=129889 ePUB])==

*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Illustrations|Illustrations]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe|Murder Recipe]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Live|Live]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession|Confession]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café|In The Café]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate|Bitter Chocolate]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare|Sweet Nightmare]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine|Orange & Wine]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Cigarette Tiger|Cigarette Tiger]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Hesitation|Hesitation]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye|Bye-Bye]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Moonlight|Moonlight]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

==Short Stories==
* [[Gekkou: Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold|Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold]] [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?a767ne1vrzuwd2x (PDF)]
* [[Gekkou: The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose|The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose]]

==Project Staff==

*Supervisor:
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translators===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Editors===
:*[[User:Kadi|Kadi]]
:*[[user:Quintasan|Quintasan]]

===Forum thread===
If you want to leave any comments / rants, visit [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=4405 the Gekkou thread]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 月光 (September 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4048687225)

== Additional Information ==
* http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/間宮夏生 (Author @ Japanese Wikipedia)
* http://ghostplan0810.blog37.fc2.com/ (Natsuki Mamiya's personal blog)
* http://twitter.com/Maminatu (Natsuki Mamiya's Twitter account)
* http://mangastore.pl/gekkou-p-1237.html (Official Polish release of Gekkou)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Oneshot]]
[[Category:Natsuki Mamiya]]

[[Category:Genre - Comedy]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]

Gekkou

2016-01-16T11:40:58Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Short Stories */

[[Image:Gekkou.jpg|thumb|Cover|250px]]

Gekkou is available in the following languages:
*[[Gekkou (Indonesia)|Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)]]
*[[Gekkou_~Brazilian_Portuguese~|Português do Brasil (Brazilian Portuguese)]]
*[[Gekkou_~_(Spanish)|Español (Spanish)]]
*[[Gekkou_Tiếng_Việt|Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)]]
*[[Gekkô ~ Français|Français (French)]]
*[[Gekkou ~ Myanmar|ျမန္မာ (Myanmar)]]
*[[Gekkou_(Türkçe)|Türkçe (Turkish)]]

Gekkou (月光 "Moonlight") is a light novel written by Natsuki Mamiya (間宮夏生) and illustrated by Shiromiso (白味噌).

==Story Synopsis==
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; border-radius: 4px; border: 1px solid darkblue; padding: 5px;" title="Gekkou MAD">[[File:Gekkou_mad.jpg|300px|link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjT8Cn26QYk]]</div>
Gekkou, or "Moonlight", is about the peculiar relationship between a cynical boy and a perfect girl.

Said cynical boy is Nonomiya who spends day in day out in boredom, taking refuge from his dull life in his imagination. One fateful day, he happens upon the notebook of the much-rumored beauty Youko Tsukimori, neglected on the ground. Poking out from it is a scrap of paper with the unexpected title "Murder Recipe". His interest ignited, he immediately stuffs it into his pocket, only to find out the promising recipe contains nothing but scenarios that may or may not lead to deadly accidents, not even worthy of being called a plan.

When he tentatively asks her about it the next day, she hasn't lost anything. But then her father dies. An accident...
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==Character Introduction==
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Nonomiya
[[Image:Gekkou_Nonomiya.jpg|left|link=]]
A cross-grained and cynical boy who wishes to break out of his boring everyday life.
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Youko Tsukimori
[[Image:Gekkou_Tsukimori.jpg|left|link=]]
A mysterious girl who appears to be the embodiment of perfection, gifted with outstanding beauty and excellent grades. One day she suddenly starts to show interest in Nonomiya, but...
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Chizuru Usami
[[Image:Gekkou_Usami.jpg|left|link=]]
A straightforward girl and classmate of Nonomiya's. She seems to be attracted to him...?
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Mirai Samejima
[[Image:Gekkou_Mirai.jpg|left|link=]]
A senior at Nonomiya's workplace and claims to be a university student. Though she has pretty looks, her abrasive and self-centered personality makes her hard to get close to.
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Konan
[[Image:Gekkou_Konan.jpg|left|link=]]
A police detective who is as frivolous as he looks. An incident links his and Nonomiya's lives and marks the start of a singular rivalry.
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== Format Standards ==
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must conform to the agreed points highlighted in the below guidelines'''
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]

== Updates ==
* 14th October 2012 - Gekkou first short story completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project completed
* 12th June 2011 - Gekkou project started

==Gekkou ([[Gekkou:Volume 1|Full Text]] - [http://www.mediafire.com/?yisgzdg33dy2qla PDF] - [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=60&t=4761&p=129889 ePUB])==

*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Illustrations|Illustrations]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Murder Recipe|Murder Recipe]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Live|Live]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Confession|Confession]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 In The Café|In The Café]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate|Bitter Chocolate]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare|Sweet Nightmare]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine|Orange & Wine]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Cigarette Tiger|Cigarette Tiger]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Hesitation|Hesitation]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye|Bye-Bye]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Moonlight|Moonlight]]
*[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

==Short Stories==
* [[Gekkou: Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold|Some Observations Regarding the Common Cold]] [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?a767ne1vrzuwd2x (PDF)]
* [[Gekkou: The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose|The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose]]

==Project Staff==

*Supervisor:
*Project Manager: [[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

===Translators===
:*[[user:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]
:*[[user:Nockgeneer|Nockgeneer]]

===Editors===
:*[[User:Kadi|Kadi]]

===Forum thread===
If you want to leave any comments / rants, visit [http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=4405 the Gekkou thread]

== Series Overview ==

* Volume 1 - 月光 (September 10, 2010, ISBN 978-4048687225)

== Additional Information ==
* http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/間宮夏生 (Author @ Japanese Wikipedia)
* http://ghostplan0810.blog37.fc2.com/ (Natsuki Mamiya's personal blog)
* http://twitter.com/Maminatu (Natsuki Mamiya's Twitter account)
* http://mangastore.pl/gekkou-p-1237.html (Official Polish release of Gekkou)

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Completed Project]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Oneshot]]
[[Category:Natsuki Mamiya]]

[[Category:Genre - Comedy]]
[[Category:Genre - Mystery]]
[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Romance]]

Gekkou: The Crescent Moon Who Hates to Lose

2016-01-16T11:40:47Z

EusthEnoptEron: \o/

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[[Image:Gekkou_ss2.jpg|400px]]
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== Part 1 ==

Zealous yells rose up from the school grounds as the baseball fanatics held a practice match, and joyful laughter resounded all the way from the pool as a group of girls enjoyed themselves splashing water at each other. The background noise was accompanied by the never-ceasing chirping of cicadas from the copse in the backyard.

It was summer outside the classroom. It was summer indeed. Summer had the world in its grip.

The springtime of our life? Why, no, we could clearly rename it to the summertime of our life.

As a natural consequence, summer also had my classroom in its iron grip, warming up the air to a stifling sauna. We were nothing but helpless servants in the face of the overwhelming power of our lord and master.

I raised my head at a funereal pace and fixed my vacant gaze on the blazing fire ball reigning over the sky. I slowly opened my mouth to speak.

“…Could you turn it down a bit?”

Frankly, I couldn’t stand summer. And if there was anything that I loathed, it was the midsummer sun. If I were a hero and the sun a demon king, then I would be gathering my comrades and launching my crusade as we speak.

“You’re incredibly cute when behaving like a child, Nonomiya-kun!” the girl beside me giggled while pretending to be paying attention to the notifications from the committee. I quickly turned around to scowl at her, only to find myself forgetting my counter out of sheer astonishment.

Every single one of the roughly thirty students, who had gathered from all grades for the regular student council meeting, was drenched in sweat, had their uniform stick to their skin, and was desperately trying to keep their consciousness from vaporizing. But her? Her uniform and hair were in perfect order, and naturally there wasn’t even a drop of perspiration on her face. She looked as cool and refreshed as if she lived in another world.

“It seems that even the midsummer sun is powerless against Youko Tsukimori and her heart of ice.”

“You’re absolutely right. Everyone knows that only a prince’s ‘tender kiss’ can melt a frozen heart,” she replied, deflecting my sarcastic remark with the greatest of ease, and flashed a smile as she sneaked her hand on my thigh, hidden under the desk. “My prince!”

I was getting a headache, and that was certainly not only because of the heat. Dizzy for various reasons, I could only manage a “…Give me a break” as I brushed Tsukimori’s hand away.

Either she enjoyed the look of disgust on people’s faces or had the abnormal trait of drawing immense enjoyment from being treated coldly; Youko Tsukimori wasn’t disheartened by my rejection. Quite the contrary, she happily narrowed her eyes and said, “Meanie!”

Ever since that midnight rendezvous at the park, she had become more and more obtrusive as the temperature rose. If there was a difference between the temperature and her behavior, then it was the fact that it was highly unlikely for her to cool off come winter.

Without saying another word, I let out a deep sigh that conveyed my annoyance.

Before long, the meeting ended. Youko Tsukimori stood up and her fellow class representatives started to gather around her without delay. That was her fate as the most popular person at this school.

Since I was reasonable enough not to concern myself with others’ fates, I left her behind without hesitation and walked out of the room.

“I am sorry, but I have to go to work,” she suddenly apologized to her admirers in a polite yet slightly rushed manner and trotted over to me. She then gave me a smile and said, “Let’s go, Nonomiya-kun.”

After positioning herself by my side as if it was the most natural thing to do, she wrapped her little finger around mine so that the bystanders would not notice a thing.

Seeing how thoroughly she enjoyed our secret relationship, the thought of how much her behavior would escalate by winter sent a cold shiver down my spine.

We continued arguing back and forth as we walked through the empty corridor toward our classroom.

“…Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you under a spell that keeps you from walking straight if you don’t lean against someone?” I sighed.

“Feeling shy? There’s no need to be – no one is watching!”

“Shy? Do I look shy to you?”

“Flushed cheeks, heavy breathing … have I got you aroused?”

“I’m just hot! Get off me already! If my head looks red right now, then it’s because of anger!” I retorted and pushed her away. However, she immediately jumped back and paid me back by clinging to me even tighter.

And thus, a meaningless cycle of pushing and clinging was set off and continued repeating itself while growing fiercer and fiercer as we walked through the corridor.

''Oh boy, what am I doing … as if it wasn’t hot enough already,'' I thought to myself, noticing that I was drenched in sweat because of our little fight. The fact that there was not a drop of sweat on her face was fueling my irritation and kept me from stopping.

In the end, it was Tsukimori who put an end to our futile fight.

All of a sudden, she stopped. She took a few steps from me and put on her usual smile. There was no trace of the childish behavior anymore. Instead, there was Youko Tsukimori, the girl everyone admired.

I quickly straightened up as well and cautiously followed her glance with my eyes. At the end of the corridor, which was bathing in the light of the setting sun, I could make out the slender silhouette of a person.

As we proceeded through the corridor, the silhouette slowly drew nearer to us. The sharp footfalls hitting the linoleum floor easily gave aways the identity of the approaching person.

As I had expected, it was none other than the fine arts instructor Misaki Takaoka.

Every student at Senkou High could immediately recognize her by her footfalls. Misaki. There was only one teacher who wore stilettos at this school, and that was Misaki Takaoka.

She didn’t look like a teacher at all. If anything, her outward appearance made her look like the college girl next door. Apart from her stilettos, she also wore a short skin-tight skirt and an oversized shirt with rolled-up sleeves, and in her ears she had a pair of large earrings. However she didn’t wear much in the way of makeup and didn’t seem to use any special hair treatment either. To top it all off, it seemed like she was too lazy to wear bras.

The reason why I described her as the “college girl next door” was because she wasn’t just pretty, but also let you take a glimpse at her lifestyle with her getup.

Needless to say, Misaki Takaoka was ''very'' popular among Kamogawa and the male bunch that were true to their instincts. The decadent atmosphere surrounding her was unique and somehow distorted and, spiced up with the contrast to her job as a teacher, charmed whoever looked at her.

You usually make yourself enemies among the same sex when you dress up so sexy, but curiously, her bold atmosphere stroke a chord with the girls at school.

That said, as a teacher she was clearly a misfit and stepped out of line. Our strict vice-principal would frequently criticize her for being a bad example for us students.

As we passed by Misaki Takaoka, Tsukimori greeted her with nod. Suddenly, the stilettos stopped hitting the floor.

“Hey there, I’ve been meaning to ask this for some time now, but…”

Misaki Takaoka was our class’s instructor in fine arts, so we knew each other. However, she had never gotten in touch with us outside classes.

“…Are you dating each other?”

She closely glanced at the two of us while narrowing her somewhat drooping eyes, brimming with unconcealed curiosity.

''She really doesn’t wear a bra…'' I suddenly realized as her charming cleavage, exposed by the two open buttons of her shirt, caught my eye.

“Do we look like a couple?” Youko Tsukimori responded with a friendly smile. Unlike me, she didn’t bat an eye and was perfectly calm.

“Yeah,” Misaki Takaoka nodded without missing a beat.

She was so assertive, in fact, that it dawned on me with horror that she might have witnessed our “fight” a few moments ago. Without knowing the circumstances, it ''might'' have looked a bit like two lovers flirting.

On the other hand, there was no way that Youko Tsukimori would accidentally let someone get on to her “secret.” Because of that I was horribly confused as to why Misaki Takaoka had come to that conclusion.

“My! In that case I should feel honored,” Tsukimori said.

“Oh, I didn’t know that you had such a high opinion of Nonomiya-kun.”

“Huhu, Nonomiya-kun is actually quite popular, but I suppose you didn’t know that,” Tsukimori countered with giggle.

“Really? Well, he’s fairly good looking and doesn’t seem too clingy. I like that.”

''“My”, “oh”, “huhu”, “really”''… Even though their exchange of words was as peaceful as it gets at first glance, my throat was as dry as sandpaper. I couldn’t shake off the notion that I was watching a fierce cat-and-mouse game.

While I had become used to Tsukimori’s unfathomable personality, I also sensed a similar kind of obscurity in this fine arts instructor.

Simply put, what was this schemer up to?

“Ah, right, Tsukimori-san! I heard your parents passed away…?”

Something in her words caught my attention, but I couldn’t quite point out what it was. Tsukimori paused for a moment, apparently feeling the same, and replied slightly delayed, “…Yes.”

“Oh dear…! You must have gone through tough times, then, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I suppose so … It was not easy.”

Misaki Takaoka may look like a minx, but she was still a teacher; there was nothing wrong with her offering her condolences to a student. The problem was her ''timing''.

While slowly brushing up her hair, she started to smile.

“But you look totally fine now.”

Tsukimori’s parents had passed away at the end of May and it was the end of July now, shortly before our summer holidays. Two months had passed since. Because of other interesting topics like the Big Senkou Conference, her incidence had since disappeared into oblivion.

“Goes to show why you’re respected by students and teachers alike. Impressing … A normal girl your age wouldn’t be so calm after losing her parents.” With these words, she looked over to me for some reason. “Don’t you agree, Nonomiya-kun?”

I ground my back teeth for an instant and replied with a boring answer in a boring tone, “I’m afraid I can’t judge over that.”

“You are overestimating me; only thanks to the help of many, many people could I move on so fast,” Tsukimori explained and suddenly turned at me. “Of course, you are one of them as well.”

''She just totally used me as a shield,'' I thought to myself while narrowing my eyes and replied with an equally boring answer as before, “Well, you heard her.”

“Mhm…? Alrighty,” Misaki Takaoka muttered as she curved her sensual lips to a knowing smile and narrowed her eyes. Her sudden cold shift in attitude alarmed me.

''Has this woman picked up on something regarding the passing of Tsukimori’s parents…?''

''No, impossible,'' I answered myself immediately.

I am the only one in the world who doubts Youko Tsukimori.

However, I found myself unable to disregard Misaki Takaoka’s meaningful attitude. The way she expressed herself in a provocative manner hinted at some kind of certainty.

I didn’t know her well enough, and I deemed that continuing an unpredictable conversation with an unfamiliar person was a bad idea. It was without doubt advisable to suspend this talk for the time being.

Just when I started getting antsy to end this conversation:

“Now, if you’ll excuse us, Misaki-sensei. ''We'' have to go to work,” Tsukimori said and then turned at me with a smile as gentle as the first rays of the morning sun. “We should hurry, Nonomiya-kun.”

''Color me impressed.'' That was Youko Tsukimori to a tee; she may be dreadful as a foe, but she was most reliable as an ally.

“Oh, I’m sorry for taking your time then. But don’t take Nonomiya-kun with you, okay? There’s something I need to talk about with him.” However, Misaki Takaoka didn’t give up so easily. “Oh, don’t give me that sour look, Nonomiya-kun. You’re breaking my heart! It’s your fault, you know? Remember the portrait sketch you handed in the other day?”

“…Yes.”

“That sketch is terrible! Atrocious even! I have seen a lot of sketches in the course of my career, but I can say with confidence that yours are easily the worst!”

Her expression was so earnest that I had to avert my eyes. I was perfectly aware of my poor skill at art, but it was kind of awkward to have somebody lay it on the line for me.

“…Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses,” I muttered in an attempt to explain myself.

“No,” she countered. “You clearly lack motivation or you wouldn’t be ''that'' bad. Because of that, my dear Nonomiya-kun, I will now take you to the art room and give you a sermon.”

With a soft smile on her face, she confined me by entwining her arms with mine.

“Tsukimori-san, may I ask you to tell your boss that Nonomiya-kun was called out by his teacher and can’t come to work?” Misaki Takaoka said as she pulled me toward herself. The soft, unobstructed touch that I felt wrapping around my arm left me speechless.

“Yes … I suppose there is nothing to be done about it then. I shall pass on the message,” Tsukimori said with a faint smile on her lips and swiftly turned around, swaying her beautiful black hair in the air.

I caught a glimpse at her out of the corner of my eye. If I wasn’t mistaken, the look she gave me while making her exit was anything but a smile.

== Part 2 ==

“Want some sugar?” the woman asked as she poured a black liquid from a carton into a mug.

I, on the other hand, was occupied with gazing at the countless sculptures and oil paintings that had been stowed away in the art preparation room and only gave her a brief, “I’ll have mine black.”

“Oh, that’s quite unusual for someone your age.”

“I’m used to drinking coffee because I work at a café.”

Misaki Takaoka carried the two mugs over to the work table and sat down on the opposite side. “Have one,” she said as she pushed one cup toward me, which I accepted with a thanks. It was time for a short iced coffee break.

The preparation room we were at was situated right beside the art room. It was about half the size of a common classroom and had only two doors: one to the corridor and one to the art room.

The room was cluttered and filled with a complicated combination of smells that consisted of paint, plaster and various metals. As an amateur, I couldn’t fathom what was the beauty of all the paintings and sculptures stored here, let alone tell which were finished and which were not. Even the tools I found ranged from familiar to cryptic. Apart from paintbrushes, putties and files, there were also instruments probably used for sculpting such as hammers, chisels and picks.

Since Misaki Takaoka was the only fine arts instructor at this school, this room was effectively her atelier.

“Now tell me, you’re dating each other, aren’t you?” she asked, bringing the matter up again. “Why don’t you tell Misaki? Hm? It’ll be our little promise!”

“Ahem, weren’t you going to give me a sermon…?”

“Huh? You want one? So you swing ''that'' way, Nonomiya-kun? Mmhm … Well, we’re alone here, so I guess I wouldn’t mind stepping on you with my heels if that’s what you want for telling me the truth.”

She glanced at me – and my frown – while moving her voluminous breasts up and down as she breathed in and out. The sermon had apparently been an excuse to drag me here.

“Let me put this straight: we are not in the kind of relationship that you might be anticipating.”

There was no word that could accurately describe our relationship, but in the very least it was not something as simple as ''that''.

“If you get the feeling that we’re intimate, then that’s because we work at the same café and are the two representatives of our class. I unavoidably have to associate somewhat more with her than the other guys,” I said, reciting the same inoffensive explanation that I had already given a thousand times to various people. In fact, most of them were actually satisfied with this explanation, probably with the help of wishful thinking on their part.

Everyone wished for Youko Tsukimori to be special and stay that way.

“Hmm … That’s not it, you know. The reason why I thought you were a couple isn’t so superficial.”

Her response was unexpected. I froze on the spot with the mug pressed against my lips and started to observe her.

“Do you want to know what I’m talking about?”

All of a sudden, Misaki Takaoka stood up, walked straight to my side and brought her face right to my ear.

“Curious, aren’t you?” With a scheming look she let out a breath as if to spread some kind of powder over me.

“…No, not really…” I replied while turning away from her. I hate to admit it, but I was overwhelmed by the bewitching pressure she put on me. I lacked experience.

“Liar. I can read it off your face: you’re ''itching'' to know, aren’t you?” she muttered and poked my cheek with her finger while giggling in silent rapture. I could clearly sense my flesh crawling all over my body.

I was in disarray – in utter confusion.

I had been perfectly aware of her attractiveness as an adult woman and of the fact that this room was her home ground. However, after what I had been through with Youko Tsukimori, I had been sure that I would not lose to her even if she was an unpredictable adult woman.

And yet, here I was dancing in the palm of her hand.

“Be honest with your teacher. You want to know, don’t you?”

“…Well, I guess I do. Given the choice.”

“Well said, my dear. I’m sorry, but I whenever I see a rebellious boy or girl, I just can’t resist the urge to tease them.”

I was terrified as I watched her gentle smile before me, overwhelmed by irresistable anxiety. It was a horrible feeling that resembled having one’s guts eaten away alive.

“Wait here for a sec, okay?” Misaki Takaoka said with a wink as she stood up and walked away.

It was then that I finally noticed that I was drenched as though I had plunged straight into a pool in full attire. On top of that, I also ''felt'' as though I had just swum a few lengths: my body was exhausted and my heart pumping.

And yet – I couldn’t believe it – I was smiling.

My bad habit was kicking in. Even though my head was sounding the alarm and telling me to stay away from this woman, my heart was throbbing with anticipation for what kind of trap she had set for me.

I was as excited as the day I’d learned about Youko Tsukimori. My body was rejoicing over the discovery of a tough opponent.

“Here, these are the sketches I was talking about.”

As soon as she returned, she sat down again and arranged several sketches on the table. Among them were also some that I didn’t recognize as mine.

“Scribbles without ''a trace'' of motivation whatsoever,” she surmised.

“The subject is ‘apathy.’”

“As the lecturer of your fine-arts classes, I can’t let that slide. Come on, at least try to be motivated!”

“It would be painful to look at if I tried to be motivated. I’m simply beyond rescue as far as my skill at drawing goes. Besides, you can’t ask of me to be motivated when drawing Kamogawa. Seriously.”

“Well, I see you’re quite stubborn, but I guess that’s your personality!” she laughed. “—A drawing is the mirror of an artist’s heart,” she suddenly added whispering. “That’s a quote from my own teacher in fine arts, but I couldn’t agree more. An artist’s mental state and their personality is strongly reflected in their drawings – and because it all happens unconsciously, they tend to give away more than any words could ever do. It’s a lot of fun because you can basically peek into other people’s hearts.”

Misaki Takaoka narrowed her eyes with amusement. I wouldn’t be surprised if she licked her lips any moment.

“Now if that isn’t a lovely hobby … so that’s why you always have us draw a sketch at the beginning of every class. You’re combining your job and your hobby.”

“You got me there, Nonomiya-kun. But don’t tell anyone, okay? I don’t want my students to think I’m an oddball.”

“Don’t worry: You’re already famous as one. Irrevocably.”

“Oh my, where did it all go wrong?”

“Don’t ask me.”

“Because of my looks?” she started asking herself, completely disregarding my snappy remark. “But most people working in this field tend to not fit into the norm, do they?” she muttered, mulling over something and tilting her head left and right.

“And? Could you go on with your point?”

''I’m not going to mince matters any longer. There’s no point in following the etiquette.''

“In a nutshell, I can easily analyze people by looking at their drawings.”

In other words, she knew perfectly what kind of person I was.

“Your sketches for example are, well, ''incredible'' in terms of atrociousness, but that’s not my point. From composition to the details, your drawings are defined by a stunningly objective sense of observation. The way you use your pencil is mostly careful yet rough at times. From these pointers I can deduct that you’re good at analyzing and careful. Well, basically you’re a prime example of a passive person. However—”

I was absorbed in her explanation. I hadn’t put down my guard by any means, however; I was simply starting to get fascinated by this woman in a way that surpassed my defense.

“—At the very core you have a somewhat twisted personality … submitting yourself to the rules of a system bores you and arouses some sort of desire for destruction in you. It makes you turn aggressive, even cruel, from time to time,” she explained and gave me a self-confident smile. “What do you say? Bull’s eye?”

While I didn’t put it into words, I fully concurred with her analysis. She was correct. I was genuinely amazed at how she had been able to see through me just by looking at some sketches.

The word “profiling” crossed my mind, which is a behavioral tool for criminal analysis used by the police in crime investigations.

“Let’s get to the interesting part, though,” she then said. “I bet you’re burning to hear what I have to say, right?” she claimed with a triumphant look as she placed two sketches before me that someone else had drawn.

I was indeed very curious…

“These two are by Tsukimori-san.”

…about how Misaki Takaoka was going to profile Youko Tsukimori.

“As an art teacher, I must say they’re flawless. Nearly perfect. She was 100% faithful to the textbooks.”

One of the sketches had Mizuru Usami as the model. Compared to her drawing, my unsightly sketch of Ugawa was like day and night. I couldn’t hold a candle to her even when taking into consideration that Ugawa himself was unsightly already.

However, Misaki Takaoka looked displeased.

“But as an artist, if I may call myself one, I must say that I don’t often see a drawing that is so beautiful yet so awfully boring.”

Even though I was a complete layman in art, I could see that Tsukimori’s sketch may have been perfect in the sense of being as almost as precise as a picture, but the pedantic exactness made it boring.

“She’s actually just like you, Nonomiya-kun. Not the slightest sign of interest to be found in her drawings,” she sighed and gave me a wry smile. “You can easily recognize that she’s an excellent student from the perfect composition and the drawing technique of her sketches. I bet she’s aware of the ‘safest’ way to draw each stroke. She’s only ever following these trails, which is why her works turn out serene, or bureaucratic and emotionless as I would put it. Bluntly said, her drawings have a severe lack of emotion that makes them seem cold-blooded even.”

I heard myself gulp down.

“Keep in mind that she was sketching ''real people''. I mean, normally, when you draw a person, your impression of that person flows into your drawing to some extent. Heh, for example, your sketch of Kamogawa-kun is literally dripping with discontent!” the woman laughed, bouncing her décolletage.

“…But there’s no inkling of any emotion in her drawings as you may see.” she continued. “Nothing shows in the emotional mirror that is art, and that’s unsettling. I’ve also seen some of Tsukimori-san’s still-life paintings, and you know what? It doesn’t seem to matter to her whether she’s drawing a person or an apple.”

This was something only Misaki Takaoka, an art teacher, could have discovered.

“Tsukimori-san may be sociable and courteous, but I’m pretty sure that’s not her true face…”

With a razor-sharp look pinned on Tsukimori’s drawings, she looked like a coroner. As I gazed at her from the side, I recalled a certain, frivolous police detective. He, too, had described Tsukimori as “too perfect and therefore suspicious.” Most likely, Misaki Takaoka’s hunch and the intuition of that cunning detective were of similar nature.

“Anyway, there is one drawing where she added an emotional touch.”

With these words, she produced a sketch and held it out to me. As I realized who that familiar person was, I was slightly taken aback.

“—Only when she sketched you, Nonomiya-kun! At a glance, it may not look any different from her previous sketch, but if you take a closer look, you’ll notice some parts that she corrected over and over. That’s when it clicked with me and I realized that you, Nonomiya-kun, are special to her.”

Right next to me was an obnoxious woman with an naughty smirk all over her face.

“What do you say? I’ve hit the mark, haven’t I?”

I wordlessly emptied my cup of ice coffee with a single gulp and turned to her.

“Takaoka-sensei,” I started and got straight to the point. “Earlier, when we met in the corridor, you touched on the death of Youko Tsukimori’s parents from two months ago, right?”

While looking me straight in the eye, she sighed, “…Asking questions but not answering any, eh?”

“Quite frankly, that was inappropriate of you. Reminding a student of though memories is clearly lacking consideration.”

“Oh, how merciless. Would you forgive me if I said that the words slipped out of my mouth because I was so worried about Tsukimori-san?”

Despite my biting remark, the woman teacher showed practically no sign of flinching … which proved my hypothesis.

“Of course not. You had some kind of proof or a clear reason to bring up the incident of her parents.”

Suddenly, she was all smiles and started to clap before her décolleté. “You’re just the shrewd observer I thought you’d be! My assessment was spot on!”

“I’d rather you answered my question instead of praising me.”

“You’re an interesting boy, Nonomiya-kun. I think I can understand why Tsukimori-san would be attracted to you.”

I frowned at her.

“Help! Don’t make such a scary face!” she jested while ducking her head. “Well … I don’t think I should explain myself without some kind of compensation, so let me add a little condition. If you answer my request, I will also answer your question.”

I tensed up, wary of what she was up to, but since there was no other way, I decided to accept her offer and asked, “What do you want?”

“Starting tomorrow, I want you to come here and be my model for a few days,” she said with a bewitching smile.

Her triumphant look sent a cold shiver down my spine, but I still nodded. “…Understood.”

My bad habit had gotten the better of me. While I was not happy with this outcome, I was not only itching to learn about her relation to Tsukimori, but I was also highly intrigued by her suspicious personality. Being able to spend more time with her was in line with my desire to know more about Misaki Takaoka.

== Part 3 ==

One day later in the morning, I entered the classroom and sat down in my seat, immediately after which Youko Tsukimori turned to me from the neighboring seat and asked, “How was your sermon?”

“I was reminded of how terrible I am at drawing and resolved to lay down my pen once and for all.”

“What else?”

“…There was nothing else. Takaoka-sensei simply advised me to show some motivation regardless of my actual skill and my indifferent stance toward art.”

She closely gazed at me with her well-shaped eyes that were framed by long eyelashes, but once she heard my explanation, she abruptly ended our conversation with a blunt and disinterested, “If you say so.”

Later that day, after school, Tsukimori brushed up her black hair while saying, “Let’s go, Nonomiya-kun,” as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“No,” I countered in a blunt tone of voice. “Can you tell Mr. Kujirai that I’m taking today off again?”

Tsukimori’s eyes narrowed like a decrescent moon. “…I know it’s a silly question, but certainly you do not have an appointment with Takaoka-sensei, right?”

Her reaction was quite understandable, since I had only just met that woman teacher the day before.

“What if I do? It’s none of your business.”

My reply wound up being harsher than intended, although I didn’t know if that was because of my conscience or her poignant look.

“I apologize if you have taken offense. I did not mean to meddle in your social affairs,” she said and then gave me a faint smile. “But I would like you to remember ''who'' is going to explain the reason for your absence to ‘Mirai-san’—”

I covered my face in shock.

''“Nonomiya, you bloody slacker! Thinking you’re cut above us, eh?”''

A loud roar reverberated in my mind. I had almost forgotten … there was no way in hell Mirai-san would let me get away with not showing up for work two days in a row without a convincing reason. She’s a lot more bossy than Mr. Kujirai even though she’s not even a salaried staff. If I were Saruwatari-san, I’d get beaten up the next day for sure.

“But let’s see … I do not endorse this kind of thing, but since it’s you, Nonomiya-kun, I could brush it over if you wish me to. I do think that I deserve to know the truth, though. Don’t you agree?”

Her request was justified – I was supposed to treat her with all possible sincerity in exchange for giving her the dangerous task of negotiating with the “beast.”

“…I have to take extra lessons in fine arts because my grades are extremely bad.”

All sincerity aside, the actual reason revolved around Tsukomori herself, so I couldn’t possibly tell her the truth. Knowing how sharp-witted she was, she was bound to see through my improvised explanation, but I had no choice but to adhere to my excuse.

“Uh-huh? Is this how you return a favor, Nonomiya-kun? Fine. I have my ways, too,” she said as she threw her feminine hips to the side while scowling at me.

It was rare for her to show her discontent so overtly when she would usually always play the understanding girl regardless of how she really felt. While I couldn’t tell whether she was pulling an act or genuinely unhappy, it was certainly the first time I had seen her like this.

“There is absolutely no need to worry, Nonomiya-kun – I’ll tell Mirai-san that you are busy making out with your pretty and super-sexy fine arts instructor.”

“H-Hold on! There are things that you just don’t joke about, and you know that!”

“Oh my, today is going to be a busy day. Because of a certain unanticipated absence, I will have to wait all tables on my own again.”

Tsukomori left the classroom with a parting shot that was dripping with sarcasm.

The mere thought of my next time at work was giving me a headache.

I could not disagree with a certain girl’s assessment of Misaki Takaoka as a pretty and super-sexy instructor. That said, the kind of thing that this certain girl had pictured to herself did not occur even once.

“Takaoka-sensei…”

“…Stay still, Nonomiya-kun, we’re almost done. Be a good boy and hang in there for a moment.”

Since I was posing as a model, I was not even allowed to speak, let alone move. Apparently, Misaki Takaoka diverged from her norm when it came to art and turned dead-serious.

''Oh boy, I didn’t know that posing was so tiresome.''

While she was drawing me for about an hour each time, I dearly regretted accepting her request without thinking it through.

By the time she called it a day, my limbs would be numb and my neck stiff. I would move like an unoiled robot when I stood up from the pedestal. “Haha! Just look at you!” she would then laugh at me. I felt humiliated.

On the other hand, I had no other choice but to swallow it, since finishing the sketch of me was the condition she had imposed upon me.

However, the time we spent chit-chatting before heading home proved to be immensely worthwhile and was the saving grace for me.

“Notice how Usami-chan refuses to change the way she draws even if it means to disregard the overall balance of the drawing. She’s actually pretty stubborn – the type of person that has a very narrow view once she gets absorbed. But putting it another way, she is very pure and loyal. It’s totally understandable that a straightforward girl like her would be loved by everyone.”

The way that Misako Takaoka observed people through their drawings was unique and extremely interesting. I had been a fool to avoid her because she seemed troublesome, when she was really such an interesting person.

However, that was a matter for itself and had nothing to do with my real objective. I was here to find out what this instructor knew about Youko Tsukimori.

What was she going to tell me about Tsukimori’s parents…?

While I still could not grasp Misako Takaoka’s personality, I was quite sure that she would not say something that was off the mark, considering her exceptional skill at human analysis. It was unclear whether she was on our side or not to begin with.

It all depended on her reply. Depending on what she knew, it was entirely possible for her to become my enemy.

However, that was only my ego speaking. I was not trying to be a hero who watches over Tsukimori from the shadows. What drove me was the simple desire to monopolize her secret.

—A few days passed like this without any noticeable trouble, until on the last day, an incident occurred. As a consequence, rumors started to spread out in school that made Misaki Takaoka and me out to be a couple.

That day I had been forced to be a statue for a longer time than usual. In fact, my limbs were so numb that I was starting to fear that I might actually turn into one. It was all because Misaki Takaoka had said that she might be able to finish her drawing at last.

“…Here we go! I’m done!”

Just when I was going to raise a complaint or two, I was finally released.

“Splendid, if I may say so myself. Come here, Nonomiya-kun, take a look!”

Who would have expected that? She was beckoning me over when she would usually refuse to show me the progress of her oil painting!

Needless to say, I was curious about how she had drawn me. I jumped to my feet … and a few moments later, the back of a chair bumped against the linoleum floor and a stiletto was flung through the air.

I had screwed up. Because of the long holding-still, my body felt stiff like that of a wooden doll and my legs had become disobedient as though they had taken roots – I immediately lost balance when I stood up and stumbled over. Of course, if that had been all, the case would have been closed right here, provided I was willing to accept an embarrassing mishap. However, the direction and the timing in which I stumbled were downright terrible.

The scene looked as though a student had let the reins of his sexual drive slacken and thrown himself at his sexy art teacher.

“…Aww, Nonomiya-kun, I didn’t expect you to be the aggressive type of guy,” the woman said with rapt eyes from below.

The soft touch on the palm of my hand, which seemed to engulf it, was probably due to her not wearing a bra.

“You want me to compensate you with my body? All right, I don’t mind giving the lead away once in a while, so strictly speaking, that’s fine with me!”

Yes – I was lying on top of Misaki Takaoka’s luscious body that was as soft as a feather pillow.

[[File:Gekkou_ss2_part-3.jpg|thumb]]

The buttons of her shirt must have come undone during the fall – her soft breasts were making themselves mightily noticeable by almost bursting free. Her bare thighs had become visible from under her turned-up skirt – which was short enough as it was – and depending on the position of my face, I could be sure to catch a glimpse of the cloth hiding further inside.

“…I-I’m sorry.”

I tried lifting my upper body, but still numbed, it would not obey its master. And then, as if to ridicule me, “Excuse me, is Takaoka-sensei ther—” a girl student walked in on us at the worst thinkable time.

It goes without saying that the rumors of our “forbidden affair” had spread like wildfire by the day that followed.

Kamokawa’s guys-alliance welcomed me with disgusting smiles, asking me to “come over for a moment”, just to start pestering me with all sorts of questions. Usami, on the other hand, ranted and raved at me, saying that I were “a tits maniac after all” and calling me “lewd” and “pervy” for it. And if that hadn’t been enough, the vice-principal summoned me via the PA system and gave Misaki Takaoka and me a lengthy sermon.

As for Youko Tsukmori, she walked up to me and whispered in my ear, “An accident, hm? Do you think I would buy that story? I mean … you also pushed me over once, didn’t you?” I didn’t know how to respond to ''that''.

A few days after that unfortunate accident at the art preparation room:

“You had quite some bad luck there,” Misaki Takaoka laughed, to which I replied, “…Please don’t act like you were not part of it.”

I was clearly not as assertive as usual – I was fed up with the fuss. Why did I have to get into such trouble?

While it was true that I had been a bit careless, it was just an accident for the most part. I was out of luck indeed.

== Part 4 ==

It had been a week since I’d last shown up at Victoria.

Mr. Kujirai and Saruwatari-san welcomed me with a warm “long time no see,” whereas Mirai-san gave me a rough “Nonomiya, you bloody slacker! Thinking you’re cut above us, eh?” Just as expected.

I had mentally prepared myself for all kinds of snappy remarks from Mirai-san. In fact, her bluntness and straightforward attitude was so much easier to deal with in comparison to how a certain someone treated me.

Yes, what really caused me quite a headache was Youko Tsukimori’s attitude. She was giving me the silent treatment.

Neither did she greet me nor did she say a single sarcastic remark – she just silently did her job as a waitress and treated me like air.

I wondered if Tsukimori was still mad at me for pushing Misaki Takaoka over even though I had laid it out to her that it was an accident.

I concluded that it would be a bad idea to make a fuss about whether it was true or not, and therefore decided to let her be until she was back to normal.

However, when she said goodbye to the other staff and left the staff room without exchanging a single word with me all day, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“You’re being unreasonable. Your attitude isn’t going to achieve anything,” I said when I discovered her slender silhouette in a gloomy side alley that led to the station.

Just looking at her back made her displeasure obvious. Giving free rein to her emotions was really unlike her; her attitude struck me as really chldish for someone who usually kept a cool head and appeared to be perfect in every way.

“I’m not in the mood for playing cat-and-mouse with you. It’s a waste of time,” I added.

I couldn’t help but feel that there was some kind of “catch” behind her unusual behavior.

“If you want to say something, then get it off your chest!” I tried demanding an explanation for her puzzling attitude while walking along after catching up with her, but all I got to hear were her steady footsteps echoing through the alley.

Slightly irritated, I grabbed her hand. However, she shook my hand off without saying a word or even looking at me, and just kept walking toward the station.

As I gazed at my empty palm, I clicked my tongue. ''What am I doing? I look like some pathetic guy who’s clinging to his ex-girlfriend. Without success.''

“What have I done to deserve this…?” Fed up with looking like a fool, I stopped following her. But I couldn’t do without a last remark to quieten my irritation. “If you want to blame me, then please do so to your heart’s content! However, listen carefully: I swear on my pride that I’m innocent!”

My voice reverberated through the side alley. Yelling at somebody without the hope for a response was an absolutely miserable experience.

Right after I had turned around, I heard quick footsteps approaching me from behind. Before I even had a chance to turn around, she pulled me toward her by my necktie.

Right before my eyes was an unfamiliar girl. The girl gazed up at me and said:

“Why…? Why do you not understand?”

Of course, it was Youko Tsukimori, but the expression on her face was so unlike her that I couldn’t shake off the impression that I was facing someone else. She looked almost like a second Chinatsu Usami.

“You really don’t understand how a girl’s heart works,” the girl said as she cast a pouty upward glance at me, blew out her slightly flushed cheeks, and pursed her lips. It was the kind of childish, sulky face that Usami would often make.

But the person before my eyes was not Usami. It was Youko Tsukimori, the well-behaved and talented beauty whom everyone admired.

Quite honestly, I was clueless. I was so mystified that I was starting to become terrified.

“Nonomiya-kun? Answer me … why did you meet up with Misaki-sensei again after that incident?”

“I…” I was at a loss for words.

“Won’t you explain it to me…? Are you hiding things from me again?”

Her upright look was hard to endure.

There was only a single reason why I had gone to see Misaki Takaoka: to have her keep her side of the bargain that had been in limbo. However, I couldn’t possibly let Tsukimori know that.

“Nonomiya-kun, have you perhaps fallen in love with…”

All of a sudden, my blood started to boil. ''Enough is enough,'' I thought.

“…Even if that were true, why should I care about your opinion?”

I was sick and tired. Wasn’t Youko Tsukimori the source of everything? Because of her I had posed against my will, ended up in the center of a nerve-racking commotion, and went to meet Misaki Takaoka before the rumors had cooled off.

“—Did you just ask ‘why’?” she countered promptly. Her face then drew so near to mine that I could count every single one of her long eyelashes and clearly recognized the glitter of her round black eyes. “If you think you will not regret it, then I shall gladly explain it to you in ''every'' detail and make sure that you will never ever again ask me that question.”

I swallowed my saliva. I saw raw pressure before my eyes. If the usual Tsukimori was freezing ice, the Tsukimori now was burning dry ice.

“Did you know? I happen to be a really bothersome girl—”

As she said so, Tsukimori placed her free hand on the knot of my necktie and pulled vigorously at the tie.

Having my throat corded, I crouched down and let out a groan.

“—I might no longer be able to hold myself back if I told you that reason. However, if you are willing to sacrifice your future, then I will gladly explain myself.”

Youko Tsukimori formed a crescent-shaped smile as she looked down at me coughing. As I tried to calm down my wild breath, I gazed absent-mindedly at the licentious girl before me. My heart was thumping away in my chest.

Youko Tsukimori was not normal. But for some reason she didn’t seem crazy to me, either.

Perhaps because I was – crazy in a way myself.

“…I am sorry, Nonomiya-kun. Something is wrong with me. Please forget what happened tonight,” she suddenly said, breaking the silence and ducking her head in shame.

She then brushed up her black hair with an elegant motion, and when I looked at her again, standing there was the composed Youko Tsukimori I had come to know.

“See you tomorrow,” she said in the usual, calm manner, and left as if nothing had happened. I was still thunderstruck as I gazed at her slender silhouette that was slowly distancing itself from me.

It was then that I suddenly started to wonder how well I actually knew the person that was Youko Tsukimori.

I had been under the impression that I knew her quite well, but perhaps I had only gotten to see a fraction of her true nature.

While I gazed at the silver crescent moon hanging high up in the sky, I reflected upon this with a somewhat absent mind.

== Part 5 ==

There was no conversation between Tsukimori and me when I went to school the following day. We did greet each other, but I avoided any further contact with her. It was most likely the same for her; we didn’t exactly ''ignore'' each other nor were we angry.

I can’t speak for Tsukimori, but I, on my part, was unsure about how to approach her because of the impact the incident last night had on me.

While I had been operating for Youko Tsukimori’s sake, she had never asked me for it. I had been doing it of my own accord.

A few days passed during which we put a distance between each other. I was strangely timid and even Tsukimori acted somewhat awkward.

When we went to work, we did so separately. Because of that, I only learned of her absence that day after I had arrived at Victoria.

“Hm? Youko didn’t tell you anything even though you’re in the same freaking class? Anyways, she’s gonna take a few days off because of some personal business!”

''What kind of business might that be?'' I started to ponder. In the meantime, Mirai-san flashed a teasing smile and continued:

“Speaking of which – I heard you had some fun making out with some sexy school staff, eh?”

“…Who told you?”

“Riko.”

''Dammit, that girl<ref>Riko Saiketei is the protagonist of ''Hennai Psychedelic'', which is a series by the author that plays in the same world.
</ref>. Poking her nose into everything again.''

“Well, pal, it sounds like Youko’s done with you,” Mirai-san said.

“Done? We’re just classmates and workmates. Nothing more.”

“Listen, you’re bound to be at fault here, so go beg her forgiveness and bring her back to Victoria ASAP, okay?”

With these words Mirai-san gave me a mighty clap on the back. An ''ugh'' slipped out of my mouth from deep within. Unable to bear up with the pain, I squatted down.

“It’s no fun if Youko ain’t here! Hurry up and make peace with her!” she said with an oppressive voice from above.

''How is this fair?'' When I let my gaze wander about with half-open eyes, I spotted Mr. Kujirai and Saruwatari-san hiding in a corner of the kitchen. When our eyes met, they immediately looked away.

Much to everyone’s chagrin, there was no one who could offer resistance to Mirai Samejima’s tyranny, save for Tsukimori who wasn’t here.

A day later, at the classroom. I was waiting for a chance to talk to Tsukimori.

To prevent misunderstandings: not because of Mirai-san and thus not to apologize to her. I was simply curious. Curious about what was important enough to skip work.

While watching her, I made a little observation. A subtle change in her attitude, which I would have not noticed normally, caught my attention.

Tsukimori was oddly restless.

For instance, she kept making sure of the time during our classes, and she failed even twice at her usual pencil flipping. Her demeanor was riddled with subtle irregularities.

As the school bell announced the lunch break, Tsukimori stood up and silently left the classroom. This was smelling to high heaven. Without a second of hesitation, I decided to pursue her.

Her destination turned out to be the staff room. For a second, I thought she had been summoned by a teacher, but it was very unlikely that someone as well-behaving as Tsukimori would get the kind of summoning that would leave her unsettled.

After I had kept an eye on the door to the staff room for a while from afar, Tsukimori came out in the company of a female teacher. That moment, I felt as if my heart began to flutter.

“…Why is Tsukimori together with ''that woman''?!” I asked myself and clicked my tongue in annoyance. On the other side of my gaze stood Misaki Takaoka with a bewitching smile.

The two of them started to move. I followed them while keeping a secure distance to stay unnoticed.

They walked for a while and eventually stopped at the entrance designated for visitors. Misaki Takaoka asked Tsukimori to take a seat, upon which they both sat down in a leather sofa. There was nobody nearby except for the two of them.

“…This is a great spot at this time of the day if you want to be alone,” I heard the teacher say as I hid behind a pillar, eavesdropping on them. My heart was pounding as though I had just finished a race. “By the way, I take it you’ve finally made up your mind, now that you’ve come to visit me?”

“…Yes. If you hold your promise and tell me everything you know, Misaki-sensei.”

Misaki Takaoka wore a broad, content smile on her face. Youko Tsukimori, on the other hand, presented herself oddly docile. ''Is she tense…?''

“Also,” Tsukimori continued, “do keep all of this a secret from Nonomiya-kun.”

“Oh…? Really? Well, if that’s what you want.”

My head started to spin and fume in an attempt to make sense of their ambiguous conversation.

“Okay, Tsukimori-san, see you after school then,”

“Yes … um, we meet at … the preparation room, right?”

They closed their conversation like that and parted.

Even after they were gone, I found myself unable to move from the spot for a while. No matter how I pieced together the bits I had overheard, I always arrived at the worst conclusion.

Namely, the conclusion that Misaki Takaoka had approached Youko Tsukimori on the matter of her parents’ death.

I immediately turned mad at Misaki Takaoka for confronting Tsukimori with that matter, but then I realized that she had never promised not to. I had no one to direct my anger at.

I recalled the conversation between Misaki Takaoka and me that had taken place a few days earlier. She had fulfilled her part of the deal, although a bit late because of the commotion.

As soon as the commotion had finally started to abate, I had sneaked into the art preparation room.

If anyone saw me like this, the rumors of Misaki Takaoka and my affair were sure to catch fire again, but I wanted to learn what she knew about Tsukimori’s parents as soon as possible.

After I prompted her to fulfill her promise, Misaki Takaoka showed two sketches to me. They were by Tsukimori and they were the ones I had already seen. One of them depicted Usami and the other one depicted me.

“Haven’t you already shown these to me?” My wary question was answered with a smirk on her part. At first, I felt a bit offended, but when the woman explained it to me, I lost my tongue.

“To tell the truth, these two sketches were drawn before and after Tsukimori’s ‘plight.’ Can you tell which is which, Nonomiya-kun?”

I reluctantly asked in response, “Can you…?”

Misaki Takaoka shrugged and shook her head. For a reason I did not know, that made my skin crawl.

“Of course, it’s easy to see from the date on the back, but I can’t make out the difference by looking at her art. That’s downright impossible. For a normal girl her age, something as trivial as lovesickness is enough to make a drawing ooze with all kinds of emotions! Now if you substitute that with the loss of one’s parents, there should absolutely be some kind of change, don’t you agree?”

She let out a faint laugh.

“…What on earth happened to Tsukimori-san? How could she keep a perfectly even temper despite losing her parents in quick succession…? Nonomiya-kun, do you know anything?”

I swallowed my saliva, confronted with her predatory smile.

“…I’m afraid not. I have no clue.” I was bewildered, of course, but at the same time I was also relieved. “All I know is that Youko Tsukimori is not your common girl,” I replied and pretended to be at my wit’s end.

“Haha,” she giggled. “Yeah, she’s everything but common. You don’t often see someone who’s that pretty and perfect at the same time,” she laughed contentedly.

Just like a certain frivolous police detective had been alarmed by his sixth’ sense that Youko Tsukimori was too perfect, Misaki Takaoka had noticed her unnaturalness through art.

However, that was not enough to solve the mystery surrounding Youko Tsukimori. At the very least, it was not worth as much as the Murder Recipe I had found.

Moreover, she was ultimately just an art instructor, so there was no reason for me to harbor any fears.

My bad hunch had been dispelled.

…And yet, Misaki Takaoka’s alarming words and Youko Tsukimori’s strange behavior were preying on my mind.

As the woman had said herself, Tsukimori had appeared perfectly composed even when she lost her parents. A lot was required for her to ever expose her feelings so overtly.

It was still understandable if she opened herself to me, but it was absolutely ludicrous for her to do so in front of everyone.

Suddenly, I recalled what Misaki Takaoka said at the end of our conversation.

''“It makes sense that everyone feels attracted to her. After all, she caught my interest as well. But I bet it’s useless to approach her up-front. I mean, she’s a prodigy in concealing her true thoughts. Mind telling me how you broke through to her, Nonomiya-kun?”''

At the time, I hadn’t taken her seriously and brushed her off, but thinking back at it now, she must have come up with a special, non-straightforward way of taking on Youko Tsukimori.

''Anyway, I have no other choice but to wait until school’s over and see for myself,'' I told myself to calm down.

== Part 6 ==

After school was over, I pursued Tsukimori. She was headed to the art preparation room as I had overheard earlier that day.

Shortly after she entered the room, the door was locked with a click, which struck me as an ominous sound. After making sure that I was alone, I walked up to the door, pressed my ear against it and held my breath.

“…Great to have you, Tsukimori-san. Let’s start right away, but let me warn you: I will not hold back.”

“…Misaki-sensei, please wait.”

“…What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you changed your mind?”

“…No, just give me a second to prepare myself mentally.”

Because of the door separating us, I had trouble picking up on their conversation even though they were a lot closer than at noon.

“…Hmm, Tsukimori-san. I’m sorry to say this, but you’re past the point of no return. See, even I have a few things that I’m not willing to give up.”

“…I understand. It is the same for me.”

The sound disappeared. I was dying to know where they stood and what their expressions looked like. Not only from their exchange of words but also from the tone of her voice, it was apparent that Tsukimori was tense.

The silence continued for a while. Because I was so focused on not missing anything, I could clearly perceive the sounds from the school yard, the footsteps and voices of the students who were on their way home. Even worse, my heart was thumping so hard that the heartbeat struck me as noisy and I started to get the illusion of hearing the blood flowing through my veins and the sweat sliding down my skin.

It was then that thanks to my sharpened senses, I could detect someone coming my way ahead of time. I sped away from the door, hurried to the next window and pretended to be fiddling with my cell phone.

After a few moments, the janitor of our school crossed the corridor behind me.

I let out a sigh of relief and resumed perking up my ears.

“…Are you afraid?”

“…Huh?”

“…Aw, you’re not self-aware, are you? Tsukimori-san … you’re trembling, you know?”

I tensed up. What on earth was going on inside?

“…Heh, I didn’t expect a Miss Perfect like you to have such a cute side,” the woman laughed dryly. “…I would love to show this little girl here to Nonomiya-kun.”

The peculiar sound of stilettos on linoleum leaked out from the room.

“…Hm … you’re too self-controlled.”

“…I am afraid to say that I have never done this before, so I can’t…”

“…It might be easier if you showed all of yourself?”

“…Huh? …Misaki-sensei…?”

“…It’s okay. Leave everything to me. I will free you.”

“…No … Misaki-sensei … please, don’t come any clo—KYA!”

Tsukimori screamed. In that very moment, I started up with incredible speed and grabbed the doorknob to step in, just to remember that the door was locked when I was about to pull.

There were two ways leading into the art preparation room – if I couldn’t enter here, I had to use the other door.

I immediately rushed to the entrance of the art room, which was situated a few meters from where I was standing. I grabbed the handle and pulled. “…This must be a bad joke.” Alas, the door to the art room was locked.

For a moment I considered just breaking through the door, but sadly, the odds were against me, considering my physique. Besides, my greatest fear was that making fuss could worsen Tsukimori’s situation.

''What should I do? Fetch a spare key at the staff room? No, not realistic. I don’t have a reason to get them, and it would take too long.''

Staying put was not going to help, either. I got moving and ran outside to take a look at the windows. Perhaps I was so lucky as to find one of them to be open.

I arrived outside, catching for breath, and was confronted with the harshness of reality. ''Curse this stupid world!''

With a single glance I realized that all windows were locked and was stricken by despair and helplessness. I hoped to at least catch a glimpse of what was going on inside, but the view was obstructed by a thick curtain.

Anxiety of the hidden. Fear of the unknown. Only negative images crossed my mind.

For example – the image starts with a beautiful woman teacher caressing a beautiful girl student in the evening light, after which she proceeds to use her extensive knowledge to expose the innocent girl’s naked body and eventually lead her up the stairway of adulthood – I lost my composure just picturing it.

“…Wait?”

''Is it really just a coincidence? Isn’t Misaki Takaoka the one who locked all windows? Isn’t all of this a vicious trap she has set up?''

''Perhaps, Tsukimori has been her target from the very beginning and I was just a tool for her scheme? She must be using me to threaten and constrain Tsukimori in some way. I can’t think of another possibility that would explain why Youko Tsukimori – a girl I consider to be perfect in every imaginable way – would behave so uneasy and speak in such a tense manner.''

''What do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do?''

The decision I made the next instant was bold and untypical for me.

I swiftly took off my shirt, formed a bag and tossed a few stones into it that were rolling around by my feet. I then tied the ends together and slammed the package of stones against one of the windows to the art room.

The glass shattered with a deafening ''clang''. I thrust my arm through the hole, opened the window and jumped inside. Without missing a beat, I slammed open the door to the preparation room.

“Tsukimori!”

The two girls spun around to me and gave me bewildered looks.

“………Huh?”

There are phrases like “Is this reality?” or “I feel like I’m dreaming” that are used by people who are taken by utter surprise, and indeed, I felt just like that. I even considered pinching myself.

Beautiful and white. Before me I saw an other-worldly piece of art that was devoid of filth and driven to perfection.

To put the situation in simple terms—

———–Youko Tsukimori was naked.

More precisely, ahead of me was Youko Tsukimori, and she was posing a mermaid that was washed ashore on a pedestal that was covered with a long fur, and her body was cloaked in a white cloth, but because the cloth was translucent, she was effectively naked.

[[File:Gekkou_ss2_part-6.jpg|thumb]]

Very well, I thought that I was at the peak of my surprise, but the reaction she showed then made my heart-strings thrill even more than her nude.

''Youko Tsukimori'' blushed red like a tomato the moment she noticed my glance.

She squatted down and turned away, showing her milky white back to me.

The best measure I could take in this situation was to leave as quickly as possible, but I wasn’t able to move from the spot.

I found myself unable to focus on anything but Youko Tsukimori.

At last, the squatting girl let out a thin voice.

“…Nonomiya-kun…”

“…Hm…?”

“…Please leave…”

“…Ah, I’m … I’m sorry.”

A half-naked boy was apologizing to a fully naked girl. It was a truly a queer sight to behold.

A moment later, dry laughter reverberated through the preparation room. Before I stepped out of the room, I turned my head and saw Misaki Takaoka laughing loudly with tears in her eyes and pounding her fists on the table.

“Great job, Nonomiya-kun!”

I could understand why she would laugh. I would have laughed as well – if I hadn’t been involved.

There is a phrase like “I wish the ground would open and swallow me up” that is used by people in horribly embarrassing situations, and indeed, I felt just like that. I wanted the ground to swallow me up and keep me there for the rest of my life.

I was riding my bicycle through town and bathing in the light of the setting sun. The pedals felt heavier than usual.

Behind me sat a Youko Tsukimori who was as quiet as a mouse. I could understand. No one could behave normal after such a shock.

''I’m not one to talk, though.''

I may have sworn to never let her on my bicycle again, but today I was wholly thankful to have her sit on the carrier – this way, I didn’t have to look her in the face.

As it turned out, all my fears had been groundless and it had been just me reading too much into everything.

Misaki Takaoka had been interested in Tsukimori for a longer time – to have her pose for her. Nude. As someone who was not willing to make any compromises when it came to art, she could not possibly let a potential, charming model like Tsukimori slip and had tried to make a deal with her several times in order to make the resulting drawing the highlight of her exhibition.

It was still a riddle to me what kind of deal they had eventually agreed on – they both refused to tell me – but in the end, Tsukimori agreed to pose nude.

To explain her antsy behavior that day, Tsukimori said, “Believe it or not, but I am actually a frail and faint-hearted girl.” Whether or not she was “frail and faint-hearted” was a subject for debate, but apparently she had been nervous about posing in the nude.

“I was just getting into it and then you come butting in and spoil the show. Doesn’t look like Tsukimori-san is in a condition to continue, so I guess we have to call it a day.”

I was in no position to defend myself, so I ended up keeping quiet and being scolded by Misaki Takaoka. It was also she who commanded me to bring Tsukimori home on my bicycle.

By breaking that window I had apparently struck a responsive chord in a woman’s heart. “I have to give you credit for that, though, Nonomiya-kun! ''That’s'' what I expect the stronger sex to be like!” She turned a blind eye on it.

About 10 minutes had passed since we started riding the bicycle.

“…Nonomiya-kun? You have a weak spot for women like Misaki-sensei … don’t you?” the girl behind me asked out of the blue.

“…In a way, I suppose I do.”

I did not usually answer personal questions readily like that, but it was not the kind of situation to say “no.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Enjoy what…?”

“Did you enjoy touching the breasts of the woman you love so much? Misaki-sensei told me. You touched hers, right?”

''Damn. That stupid woman opened her big mouth.''

“…No, as I explained you several times, it was an accident. An unavoidable mishap.”

“Mmm…?” she muttered and stayed silent for a few moments. After a while, she suddenly whispered, “…Did you like it?”

“…Like what?”

I think I knew what she was talking about, but I dearly hoped I was wrong.

“My body.”

While I figured that a cheap excuse like ''Didn’t look closely. Don’t know,'' was not going to cut it, I had no clue what else to say. If anything, I was probably supposed to praise her, but I was way too embarrassed to do that.

“So, did you like it?” she repeated to break my silence. This time around, her question sounded a bit teasing.

“…No comment.”

“That will not do. I don’t want to come away empty-handed even though I exposed my body,” she said and leaned forward. “Do you understand the graveness of this matter, Nonomiya-kun? It was the first time in my life that a male saw me naked, you know? You were my first time.”

I couldn’t help coughing.

“…Would you stop phrasing it like that? Anyway, this was also just an accident. The same thing as if a dog had bitten you. We would both be best off if we simply forgot about it.”

“A dog, yes? You are one talkative dog, aren’t you? Shall I become your mistress and tame you to an obedient pet dog?”

“…The dog that is kept by you must be truly happy. Well, I am human, so it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Well, we’ll get back to that another time.”

A most alarming whisper reached my ears. I sincerely hoped I had misheard her.

“Anyway,” she continued. “I can’t let you go without telling me your impression. So, did you like my body?”

“…I’ll come up with an answer until tomorrow.”

“No,” she said and clang to me from behind. My heart missed a beat as I felt Youko Tsukimori’s soft body pressed against mine.

''She did that before, but I don’t remember her to be that soft…''

“…To tell you the truth, Nonomiya-kun, I am – braless right now.”

Because of the shocking fact she whispered into my ear, I accidentally lost control of the bicycle and swayed left and right for a few meters.

“I may lose to Misaki-sensei, but mine are pretty good, too, aren’t they?”

I fully agreed with her, but my pride stopped me from saying it.

“…I get it, so get off me already.”

“As soon as you tell me your thoughts on my body,” she said and clung to me even tighter. Because I now knew the reason, her awfully soft touch was turning from a stimulus to deadly poison for me, a healthy high schooler.

I wavered between pushing her down from the carrier and just answering her question. Eventually…

“…Yeah, well, you’re pretty … I guess?”

I made the bitter decision of sacrificing my own pride in order to maintain an ethically respectable position.

“Hm…? What did you just say, Nonomiya-kun? This shopping district is so noisy, I’m afraid I did not understand you. Would you be so kind as to repeat yourself for me?”

Obviously, I had better pushed her down my bicycle even if it meant to ignore the principles of humanity. She was flat out lying – she sounded happy, after all.

I let out a theatrical sigh and repeated myself.

“…I said, um, that you’re pretty for crying out loud!”

My yell echoed through the twilit shopping district. I stopped caring.

Thanks to that, the students and salarymen who were on their way home, and the housewives who were doing the shopping, all turned around to me at once.

I quickly started to pedal with all my might to get out of this district as fast as possible.

Once we reached a relatively silent place, I finally slowed down again and tried to calm down my breathing.

“…Hey, that’s not what we agreed on.”

She was still tightly clinging to me.

I waited for a few moments, but there was no reply. Just when I was about to open my mouth to complain some more, I looked at her reflection in a show window and fell quiet.

In the show window – was a girl smiling blissfully. I had never seen Youko Tsukimori like this before.

While I was not smart enough to tell if she was smiling from heart or just acting like always, I felt rewarded either way and didn’t really care. After all, I had gotten to see a new side of hers. However, the sentence that then escaped her lips left me completely dumbfounded.

Well, perhaps the appropriate reaction would have been laughing, because if it was a joke, it was an excellent one.

“I am overjoyed to get your praise, Nonomiya-kun. Am I not a—”

She pressed her body tightly against mine and whispered into my ear.

“—simple girl?”

<references />

{{GekkouNavbar}}

File:Gekkou ss2 part-6.jpg

2016-01-16T11:37:26Z

EusthEnoptEron:

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2016-01-16T11:37:20Z

EusthEnoptEron:

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2016-01-16T11:35:41Z

EusthEnoptEron:

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai

2016-01-05T13:45:14Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai==

===1===

The thought of how thin the ice was I have always stood on until now makes my skin crawl. I have been wiggling left and right like a balancing toy, prone to leaning over—or falling over—any time.

Japanese religion counts thousands of gods.

But doesn't that just mean that people could not decide on a single one? The god you cherish can't be the same as mine, and the god he cherishes can't be the same as yours. In other words, we all consider different things important.

There is no such thing as an universal god.

In other words, there is no god.

If you are able to look at things in a somewhat objective light and look at the state nowadays, then you will see: It is foolish to believe in something.

What people ultimately believe in are tangible things. Money. Because money is much more certain than intangible things like love and friendship. People believe in money, the inorganic, equivalent and quickly betraying thing that gets stained with finger marks in people's pockets and created day by day by human hands at the bank.

It's filthy in a way.

And yet, I knew that nothing could help me better than money, and that I could even buy love and friendship if I used it the right way. In the end, I believed in money in every respect. On one side, those old, wrinkled banknotes that came and went to and from my pocket were dear to me, and the other side, I felt filthy and ended up in despair.

Ultimately, in my world there was nothing to believe in, nothing to hold on to.

I wanted to believe in something beautiful, something pure.

However, there was no such thing no matter where I searched and even if I tried to believe in something, I couldn't shake off my doubts. I ended up trembling in fear of falling.

But that time has ended.

[Plink]

Whenever I think of what creates and defines my foothold, the "Heroic Polonaise" starts to play in my mind. This transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental melody is my guide to a steadfast world.

If I were to describe it as an image, then it would be a lake with water so transparent that I forget that there is water.

What I believe in?

—Reina Kamisu.

I do therefore not forgive people who deny her.

But because everybody knows how beautiful and splendid she is, I did not have to deal with such a person. It was unthinkable that someone would deny her.

However—

Yukimi Mitsui appeared and denied Reina-san.

Enemy! She was my enemy! She was the enemy of us who believe in Reina-san!

I could not let her get away with this. Never.

Denying Reina-san is equivalent to destroying my foothold, to putting me back on thin ice. I could not allow that. What right did she have? "Who do you think you are?" I thought and actually asked her.

However, she ignored my warning and chose to remain my foe. Her attitude was a clear message of enmity to me and the other believers.

Yeah, you have got some nerve. I'll fight you back, then.

I told the members of the student council, which was constructed of students who also believed in Reina-san, about Yukimi Mitsui. That was enough to arrange her removal from the Junseiwa school. This place is full of people believing in Reina-san, who also consider anyone who denies her their enemy.

I was satisfied.

After I had launched a devastating attack at my foe, I was already satisfied.

I was forgetful.

A baited cat may grow as fierce as a lion

Yes, satisfied with making an attack, I forgot to keep my guard up.

Blood.

When I returned to my room at the dorm, my roommate Anna Fuyuki was lying in her own blood in the shower room.

For a few moments I was overwhelmed. Absent-mindedly I gazed at the blood flowing down the drain, at the razor blade, at Anna's naked body as water showered on her, at her left wrist and the straight cut, at the blood spilling from there, and finally I screamed, "Anna!" as I rushed to her and held her.

Brr!

Anna has been taking an ice-cold shower, but that is hardly the only reason why she's so cold. Red blood. Milky skin. Blue lips.

Aah, what should I do? I-I must stop the blood ... B-But warming her body comes first. And I have to call the ambulance. Aah, where to start? Why did this happen, anyway?

Only after I take a deep breath it occurs to me that I should stop the shower.

"...Sakura," Anna mutters.

"Why did you do this...?"

"...Sorry for ... troubling you," she says without answering my question. There's no need for her to apologize!

I shake my head and dash out of the room with a "wait a second!" I can't cope with this alone. I need help. After I fetch Yuuko Kasuga and Emi Tachibana from the neighboring room, I have Yuuko bind up Anna's wound because she aspires to become a doctor. In the meantime, Emi calls the ambulance and informs the head of the dorm, whereas I wipe Anna with a towel, put her underwear on, and wrap a blanket around her.

"I'm so sorry..." she keeps apologizing while we are helping her.

To my relief, the flow of blood stops surprisingly easily. "It's not deep," Yuuko whispers into my ear.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry ... I didn't mean to trouble you!" Anna cries.

I shake my head a few times.

Anna, why do you keep apologizing? Didn't you just cut yourself impulsively because something hurt you? Then why—

"———"

A thought suddenly crosses my mind.

The cut is not deep according to Yuuko, but when I found Anna, she was bleeding profusely.

Most likely, she had cut her wrist moments before I arrived at our room.

No ... considering how hard she is apologizing, something else suggests itself.

Anna cut her wrist in the very moment I arrived here.

We have been living here for over a year; I think I know Anna fairly well. I knot about her family problems and the fact that she's so weak as to cut her wrists, and I also know that she's so weak as to be afraid of dying.

Self-harm is a little different from attempted suicide because the scars are made for others to see. They're a message to the world that screams "look how much I'm suffering!" Then who did Anna want to send this message to?

The answer is quite obvious: to me.

Anna is weak.

She does not believe in her own strength, she undervalues herself, and because of that, she is dependent on others. She thinks she can't solve her problems on her own.

Anna wanted to show her suffering to me. She wanted me to save her.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry..."

As she keeps weeping, I give her a hug.

"Sakura...?"

"It's okay, don't worry!"

We have a savior.

We have Reina-san.

After a short while, the ambulance arrived (of course we made sure that Anna wore her clothes at this point). I got into the coach together with her and kept holding her hand on our way to the hospital. By the time we arrived, her hand had turned a little warmer than it initially was.

Since the blood flow had already stopped, there was no need for a blood transfusion. The treatment of her wound didn't take too long; I sat next to her and watched as the doctor scolded her, saying "Don't do this again," and proceeded to disinfecting her wound and binding it up. As a side-note, her parents didn't come. I don't know if they were even contacted, though.

After we left the hospital, I took her to a café that serves delicious black tea. I figured that we would end up getting home a bit late, but I was sure the chief of our dorm wouldn't sound us out after what had happened.

I ordered Darjeeling tea, Anna ordered apple tea. We both kept quiet while we were waiting for our tea to be served.

During that time, I sneaked a few peeks at the bandage around Anna's left wrist.

The cut may have been not that deep, but considering the amount of blood that spilled, this is going to leave a scar.

I wonder if Anna is even aware of the graveness of that scar?

There is only one reason for a scar in a place like this. As soon as someone sees it, that someone will immediately look at her in a different light.

...No, that's still a minor issue.

The one who should not look at this scar the most is—Anna herself.

No matter how happy her life, she will always have this scar with her. And whenever she looks at her wrist, it will remind her of the moment she cut herself. She will become anxious again. She will have to face her family issues and the actual reason that led to the self-harm over and over.

　They say that with every sigh you lose a bit of your happiness, which I can fully understand. After all, if you think you're unhappy, then you will inevitably turn unhappy regardless of your actual situation. Once you persuade yourself of your own misery, you will blame everything on it. Met with an accident? Because you're hapless. Got dumped by your lover? Because you're hapless. Lost in that lottery? Because you're hapless. Tripped? Because you're hapless. Your haplessness becomes the source for everything, even though there might be valid other reasons. Thing that you would originally not even care about feel like mishaps. And since you think it's your fate, you keep falling down into misery for the rest of your life.

In this sense, Anna's scar is a much clearer sign of "misery" than a sigh, and as such, a much stronger curse that attracts misery.

Our tea arrives. I use this as a sign to start a conversation.

"Anna, what's wrong?"

She ponders for a moment and, for some reason, eventually decides to shake her head.

"It's ... nothing."

"Of course there's something."

"No ... as I once told you, living is painful to me, Sakura. It hurts so much to live. This feeling has been growing for a while now and simply reached the limit."

Is she lying? No. I can read as much off her face.

However—

"But there has to be something that triggered it. You wouldn't cut your wrist without a reason."

I am sure of that. Otherwise, there would be no point in harming herself in front of me.

My remark was correct, apparently: Anna casts her eyes down.

"Come, Anna, tell me about it."

However, Anna hesitates long enough for me to finish my Darjeeling tea, and yet she subconsciously wants to say it. She is not faltering, she is just hesitating. I'm starting to get annoyed.

In the next moment, however, my annoyance is blown away.

"I can no longer be by Reina-san's side."

"Huh?"

In utter surprise, I forget to place my tea cup back on the table.

"Reina-san rejected me."

What is the meaning of this...?

Reina-san rejected Anna?

That's not possible. Reina-san does not make exceptions when associating with people. If she would reject someone, then because—

"Anna ... did you perhaps confess your love...?"

"...I did," she nods with tears in her eyes.

Yes. If Reina-san were to reject someone, then because that someone approached her up to that distance.

"Why would you do that?! Reina-san cannot be degraded to a love interest. I can understand the urge to have her all for yourself, but why would you betray us and risk to be rejected by—"

Suddenly, it clicks with me.

Anna would not do something like this of her own accord. That's just not her personality. She would never take a risk so big as to cut her wrists while knowing that she hardly has any chances.

Then why...? Why did Anna confess to Reina-san?

"———"

Ah, of course.

"...Who threatened you, Anna?"

Her tear-stained eyes widen.

"You weren't just talked into it, right? You're the type of girl who would keep some distance if the other girls joked about 'confessing to Reina-san.'"

"..."

"Who was it that threatened you?"

"..."

Anna does not answer. She must have been told to keep quiet about it. Or perhaps she's just afraid of angering the culprit.

Considering her gentle nature, she might just want to avoid hurting that person.

After all, I'm not willing to forgive the culprit.

It goes without saying how deep the sin and how severe the punishment of taking Reina-san from one of us is.

A world without Reina-san ... Aah, just picturing it to myself makes me feel as if I was drying up from the inside.

Because the liquid that is Reina-san is drawn out of my body...?

Indeed ... as a matter of fact, Anna did also lose her own red liquid.

That's the horrible thing the culprit did to Anna.

I will kill her.

I will kill that culprit!

"Who was it, Anna?" I ask again.

"..."

"You have to tell me; she made you cut your wrist!"

"...But..."

"No buts!"

"...I mean..."

"...Fine. I'll just have a guess."

There are only so many suspects. Firstly, it can't be one of "us." Apart from the fact that "we" understand the pain of losing Reina-san, we would choose another method even if we wanted to bully Anna because there was a chance that she would succeed. Then again ... Anna is not a person with many enemies. In fact, I don't know of anyone who dislikes her.

That means that the culprit is not set against Anna herself, but "us" as a group.

—A person who is hostile against "us"?

I know one. I know someone who fits the bill perfectly.

"Yukimi Mitsui."

From the expression on Anna's face I can read that I am right.

So it was she, eh?

That scumbag who made fun of Reina-san, eh? So after insulting Reina-san, so even hurt my weak Anna?

I'll kill her.

I'm gonna kill her!

I resolved to eliminate Yukimi Mitsui from the Junseiwa school.

There is no doubt that it was she who cornered Anna. A few other students witnessed how she took Anna somewhere (and I'm shocked that they did not step in to help her).

I purchased our weapons through the Internet and drilled down her personal information. As most of the students at this school, her family environment turned out to be very peculiar. This piece of information will be useful to torment her.

Together with Yuuko, Emi, and other students who loathed Yukimi Mitsui for what she did to Anna, I proceeded to executing the elimination plan. We will show no mercy to our enemy. It is important to choose your friends and foes wisely, especially at our age where we are still weak by ourselves. If you show mercy to your enemy, you will end up suffering yourself. Anna did not take part in the elimination. Poor thing. That's why she has to suffer!

After school, we first make sure that Reina-san isn't around and then march into Yuki Mitsui's classroom. The disquieting air about us causes the other senior students, who are still present, to look at us, but because Yukimi Mitsui is the center of trouble, they don't intervene.

"What is it?" she asks snappily. "What does the bunch of you want from me?"

I ignore her barking and press my stun gun against her side.

"Ugha!"

She sinks into a crouch.

"Hmm? What was that strange screech about?" I smirk and, as I look down at Yukimi Mitsui, who is holding her side, I command, "Senpai, mind tagging along with me"

She looks up at me with—haha!—fear written all over her face.

"...Where?"

"Just shut up and follow me, okay?"

She didn't dare to resist or escape. Quite satisfied by that, we walk to the back of the gym.

Once we arrive at our destination, I order my companions to keep watch and turn to Yukimi Mitsui, who is clearly intimidated by us (although she is still trying to look brave), with a scowl.

"So I heard what you did."

"...Did what?"

"Want to play dumb? Remember what you did to Anna Fuyuki?"

She screws up her face and averts her eyes without a word of denial.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

I proceed to corner her with the information I gathered, the weapons I bought, and piercing words. Even she could not help losing heart. But my anger hasn't been vented yet. I kick her in the stomach. It's not enough. I haven't vented on her enough. She made fun of Reina-san, she made fun of "us", and she hassled Anna. I can't forgive her. She hurt "us". I won't forgive her.

And yet...

"My head."

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Despite the situation she is in, she started to provoke me.

She completely blew my fuses. That just burned a few of the wires in my head. This girl is playing me for a fool, thinking that I won't really beat her. She is belittling me, thinking that I'm just a tag-along who's clinging to Reina-san. She is looking down on me. She thinks I'm a dependent piece of shit. Don't you think you can make a fool of me! I'll show you what I'm capable of! I'll eliminate you not only from this school, but from this very world that Reina-san lives in!

I raise my club.

"What are you doing there?"

All of a sudden, Reina-san's voice reaches my ears.

I lower my club again. Yukimi Mitsui seems to be just as surprised as I am. It's unlikely that she called her.

"Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!"

However, Reina-san calmly brushes off my yell and counters, "If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's ... because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," she says in a slightly insistent tone. It might really be just slightly in all objectivity, but this is the strongest expression of intent in Reina-san's scale.

Why would she stop me? Yukimi Mitsui is a jerk who even tormented Anna and—

"—Ah."

I look at Reina-san.

I see ... she knows everything. Of course, I'm mad at Yukimi Mitsui for making light of Reina-san.

However, I only went this far—or at least I only thought of murder—not because of Reina-san, but because of Anna.

I was about to use Reina-san as a pretext for avenging Anna .

As such, she has all the right to stop me. She would never approve of being an excuse for taking revenge on somebody. No, her word is absolute to us either way.

"...OK..."

So I have to obey.

We gave up on using violence on Yukimi Mitsui and walked away from the gym. Since I was disheartened by Reina-san's clear denial of my actions and the others were aware of that, we exchanged no words for a while.

We then called it a day. Only my neighbors, Yuuko and Emi, stayed with me.

"Was that really okay?" Yuuko asks.

"...Nothing we could do, was there? We can't just disobey Reina-san!"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"Huh?"

"I was just wondering if it was okay to leave Reina-san alone with Yukimi Mitsui."

I immediately returned to the back of the gym, but they had already left. I headed to the school building.

Yukimi Mitsui must not be underestimated. She can be very belligerent, and on top of that she must be irritated because of what we did to her. God knows what she's going to do to Reina-san, the person who symbolizes "us."

Needless to say, harming Reina-san is on a whole different level compared to harming Anna.

But Yukimi Mitsui might have turned desperate and plan to soil our symbol.

I run around on the school grounds back and forth, and at last, find Reina-san in the corridor where the second music room is located.

"Reina-san!"

She turns around to me. At a glance, it doesn't seem like she was hurt in any way.

"Kawai-san?"

"Are you all right? Did Yukimi Mitsui do anything to you?"

"Mitsui-san?" she asks and then smiles. "It seems that you have a false picture of Mitsui-san. She is not the kind of person who would do anything to me."

"I don't have a false picture of her. But ... are you really unhurt?"

"Yes, of course."

I let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, my fears were ungrounded this time.

Reina-san gives me a wry smile.

Suddenly, I feel horribly embarrassed as I recall that she has willfully denied my actions earlier.

However, her next words blow me away.

"You have come at the correct time. I was searching for you."

"What?!"

Me? Reina-san was searching for me?

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

Reina-san nods with a smile.

"There is something I wanted to tell you."

"Ah ... I feel honored."

"You are exaggerating."

As if!

"What is it that you wanted to tell me, if I may ask?"

With an ever-so-beautiful smile, she said:

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."


Ten minutes later Reina-san died.

===2===

I picture Reina Kamisu to myself.

Above all she is beautiful. It's as if she was perfection given form. No, you could even say that she is perfection.

She is water so pure and transparent that you can't tell where it starts. I tasted from this pure water and had my life saved by it. A human body consists to 70 percent of water. In other words, 70 percent of my body consists already of Reina-san.

The water that is Reina-san is becoming clouded? The foothold is collapsing?

Impossible.

The conclusion that can be drawn is simple.

Reina Kamisu is not dead.

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

Yukimi Mitsui said so.

Even the girl that I considered my enemy said so.

She also claimed herself as a subordinate of Reina Kamisu.

Quite frankly, I underestimated Reina-san's excellence.

I was under the impression that by being with her I was able to increase her value to some extent. Of course, I was completely wrong! Reina-san had no problems showing her splendor to its best advantage even in places that are outside my circle of influence.

Therefore, it's perfectly possible that plans for feigning her death came to be without my knowing.

How they did it?

I don't care. The only thing that matters is the fact that she's alive.

Besides ... would Reina-san even need any realistic means for something as minor as feigning her death?

Of course not.

Reina-san can overcome even death.

I met Reina-san's brother, Ryoji-san. He has also noticed that she's still alive. That makes him the third one of us and proves that it's an undeniable fact that Reina-san's alive.

On his request, I showed him around in school. He acted a bit strange here and there, but he also said this to me:

"I don't know what Reina wanted to achieve by scattering, but I do know the cause."

"What is it...?"

"The cause is—you and your friends."

I was confused at first.

What is the meaning of this? It was us who made her scatter? Has her brother perhaps gotten to this conclusion by talking to me?

Reina-san scattered because of ... us?

No, Reina-san scattered for us.

Which means...?

Right, Reina-san feigned her death for us.

I see. That would explain why she chose to feign her death at this school. It was all for our sake. Reina-san is trying to save us hopeless lambs.

Right, we are hopeless.

Anna, for example, suffers because of her family problems. I, for example, am unable to see anything but a dark, dull future. Because there is no god in this world, there is nothing to depend on and there is no hope for us.

That doesn't make sense!

This system is way too unbalanced. Too unfair. Too absurd. How is that OK? Everything's a lie except for the things that hurt? That's cruel!

Therefore, Reina-san can't be dead.

No, she can't be dead.

She can't be dead.

She's alive.

A-L-I-V-E.

I will kill everyone who dares to claim that she's dead in front of me. Because they're too stupid to be kept alive. Why do these ugly maggots even breathe even though they are blinded by commons sense, even though they believe in nothing but money!

Reina-san simply disappeared somewhere because of some reason.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."


The meaning of her last words starts to dawn on me.

She entrusted me with a task.

What task?

To preserve her place for when she appears again.

Reina-san is not dead, but only very few are aware of it. At this time, it's only Yukimi Mitsui, her brother and me. There may be more, but the number stays small. Moreover, there must be people who have doubts about the lie that is Reina-san's death, but they are lacking evidence.

However, it's true that the lie she spread is very cunning. So cunning, in fact, that the lie will become true once everyone starts to believe it. I don't want to state the obvious, but the dead can't coexist with the living. Dead people lose their relation to the living.

Reina-san will come back, but I feel that her return is bound to certain conditions.

After all, Reina-san is trying to save us. Salvation does not come to people who don't believe in salvation. Therefore, those who forgot her, those who lost faith in her will not be saved. There is no reason for her to appear in a place where she has been forgotten, in a place that is outside the range of her salvation.

It means that I have to make sure she has a place to return to.

In order to meet Reina-san—in order to meet again her again—I have to keep her place unoccupied.

I see! This is a trial.

A trial to test my faith in Reina-san.

As a way to arrange a place for Reina-san, I chose to take advantage of my position as the president of the student council. I asked the teachers to let me have a speech at the monthly assembly and received permission.

The day of the assembly arrived in no time. Through the microphone the teacher who presided over the assembly says, "The president of the student council would like to take the floor." Following his announcement, I climb on the stage and encounter almost five hundred faces, some of which are older than me, some of which are the same age, and some of which are younger than me. Most of their gazes are directed at me. I've gotten used to this sight. After receiving the sign, I, the teachers and the nearly five hundred students bow to each other.

I survey the audience.

Nearly five hundred people. This is hardly anything when comparing it to the numbers used by the mass media, but it's quite an overwhelming sight nevertheless. Is it really in my power to reach their hearts and project Reina-san into them? I don't want to admit it, but Yukimi Mitsui was right when she remarked that my charisma has dwindled. The weight of my words depends on whether or not Reina-san is present. Is it really in my power to show them the right path?

Don't falter! The more numerous the audience, the better. I don't need to convince all of them. I only need enough of them to create a place for Reina-san.

I open my dry mouth:

"Good morning, my dear schoolmates. My name is Sakura Kawai and today I would like to address Reina Kamisu's suicide."

Their gazes focus on me as I address the hottest topic at school. Everyone knows that I took on the position as president of the student council from Reina-san, and that I was her primary servant. They must be fairly curious about what I have to say about this subject.

"As you all know, Reina Kamisu was a special student. I am certain that I do not need to lose any words on how special she was. As such, many among you must still be confused by the sad news of her death. Many among you must still be mourning for her. I was one of them, too."

The students who noticed that I used past tense start to whisper to each other. Not a week has passed since Reina-san throw herself from the rooftop; in normal circumstances it would be impossible for me, her primary servant, to overcome the sadness of losing her.

"However—"

As expected, the majority of the students are all ears for my words. I deliberately choose to provoke them.

"—Let me be frank. Only a fool would be sad about her death."

My words create a general stir.

The students start to exchange glances and the teachers become alarmed. I don't mind if they stop me in the worst case, as long as I can communicate the important things. I only need to get their attention. Some of them will be curious enough to approach me of their own to hear the rest, and I will tell them. My thrilling ideas will soak through them and then automatically spread among the rest of the students.

My network is extensive enough to pull this off, even without Reina-san.

"Why is it foolish? Before I answer this question, let me read your mind."

I feel almost all of their five hundred gazes on me. Excellent.

"Certainly, you were all shocked by her suicide. You are bewildered and you are sad. But above all, do you not have a 'fuzzy feeling' in your chests? Do you not feel that something is wrong?"

As I stand on the stage, I discover a few students who nodded.

"I know what that 'fuzzy feeling' is. Let me get straight to the resolution: you have this feeling because you think that Reina Kamisu might still be alive."

My words create yet another stir.

"Please do not misunderstand me: I mean it quite literally, not in the clichéd sense of her living on in our hearts. Her metabolism is still intact. You may say this is absurd, but then answer me: Can you deny it with all honesty? Can you really say for sure that Reina Kamisu is dead?"

To be frank, I'm only spitting nonsense. A fuzzy feeling? Well, of course they have that feeling! After all, Reina Kamisu, the person who occupied a large part of their hearts, died (they think) from one day to the next without a reason! How could they not have ruffled feelings about it?

However, the ones who fell for it and bought my explanation for their fuzzy feeling will think that everything I said might be true.

Some of them might naturally see through my trick, but can they deny my words with certainty? Can they pass on the compelling thought that Reina Kamisu might still be alive, just to deny what I said? Can they thrust the ones who got their hopes up back into the abyss of despair, even if they were certain it's a lie?

Reina Kamisu is dead. Reina Kamisu is alive. If you had to choose one, you would choose the latter.

If both options are hard to believe, then you would choose the latter.

It's a shame that I have to trick them, but sadly, only few are able to see the truth like me. It's highly unlikely that anyone understands Reina-san like I do.

I proceed to the final blow.

"Dear colleagues, my ideas must sound absurd to you, and I am aware of that. I would laugh it off as ridiculous if I was one of you.

"But ... it is the truth.

"All of you who are laughing at my words will be laughing out of the other side of your faces next week. Why? It's simple."

Yes, I understand Reina-san.

I know the answer.

I only need to give them a glimpse of the answer.

"Because next week, on the first day of July, Reina Kamisu will come back."

My speech turned out less successful than anticipated. The majority view seemed to be that my claims were too implausible, and because this became the mainstream, the people who actually believed me could no longer openly say so.

I don't think it was wrong to hold a speech. Actually, I'm positive that it was the best choice I could make. However, it seems like the world has become too science-oriented to leave room for the thought that someone could resurrect from the dead. Damn ... aren't men the ones who are supposed to only make logic decisions? Our society makes it hard to spread correct ideas. Even psychics who clearly have some sort of power are called fakes these days.

But I don't care.

I haven't failed.

It's true that the majority are fools who are unable to question Reina-san's death, but they're only the majority.

People who believe me, who believe in Reina Kamisu, may be the minority, but they do exist.

"I also thought that Reina-san is still alive! I was relieved to hear that I wasn't the only one who thought so!"

"That 'fuzzy feeling' you mentioned was really preying on my mind. You took a huge weigh off my mind when you pointed it out to us and uncovered the truth behind it."

"Reina-san is still alive! There's no way she would die, is there?"

"I'm not entirely convinced ... but if you are so certain of it and even know when she's coming back, I want to try to believe you."

"I never believed that Reina-san was dead!"

People who said things like this appeared before me. 17 in number. Most of them were third-year students who inherently spent more time with Reina-san than the younger generation. 17 is not a large number compared to 500, but it's not so small, either, if you think of it as half a class.

Is Reina-san going to appear again even with such a small number? Though a little anxious, I decide to be optimistic.

I mean, Reina-san is much smarter than me. She must have foreseen that I would only be able to convince a small number of people even if I did my best. But most of all, the girls who believe in her "presence" are the ones who long for salvation so hard that they have no other choice but to believe in her "presence." Reina-san would never abandon them.

However, that doesn't mean that we can sit back and wait. Just thinking that Reina-san might still be alive is not going to bring about any progress.

What we need is unification. Unified prayer. We have to focus our prayers so strongly that they will reach Reina-san.

That is what has to be done to accomplish Reina-san's return.

In order to proceed to action, I told "the girls" who believe in Reina-san's "presence" to assemble at the Student Council Room after school. By the way, part of the student council, which also includes Anna, also believe in Reina-san's "presence."

It's unfortunate that I'm the only one who "knows" of Reina-san's "presence," but it's not a problem. I only have to guide "the girls" to this knowledge.

It's Thursday, the 29th of June. The first of July will be the day after tomorrow. Time is running out. I have to make sure that "the girls" will make a beeline for our goal without getting sidetracked by anything.

After we assembled at the Student Council Room, we had a long conversation. About Reina-san. About our devotion to Reina-san. About our selfless love for Reina-san. About our relation to Reina-san. About our need for Reina-san. About the importance of Reina-san. About how Reina-san feigned her death. About why Reina-san disappeared. About how Reina-san is going to affect us in the future. About how Reina-san's Reina-san is Reina-san and Reina-san can Reina-san with Reina-san to be Reina-san. Unfortunately, six of the initial seventeen members could not keep up and left our ranks, but the rest of us were able to talk about Reina-san without end. In this manner, we deepened our trust in Reina-san and synchronized with each other.

However, talking only about Reina-san does not suffice. If Reina-san were a diamond and you wanted to fascinate someone with it, you could preach about the diamond's beauty as long as you want and still achieve nothing. Fortunately, they are already fascinated by the diamond that is Reina-san, but still it doesn't suffice. "The diamond suits you!" "It makes you charming!" "You need it!" Similarly, by talking about why we need the diamond and why we have to be fascinated with it, we can strengthen our faith in Reina-san.

"Anna?"

I decide to start with Anna, the easiest target, because she's my classmate, my roommate, the secretary of the student council, and a cutter. Not only can I predict her answers, she is in dire need of Reina-san. She's also a perfect case for the others to listen to.

"Do you have those moments when you feel tired of living in this world?"

Her eyes widen as I pose an unexpected question. It's obvious how she will answer this.

While looking at the bandage on her wrist, she replies, "...All the time."

I nod as compassionately as possible. The other girls, who have been talking with each other, start to give us their attention.

"...Do you also feel like this sometimes, Sakura?"

"Sure," I answer.

"That's a little surprising."

"Do I not look like someone who would get tired of living?"

"Mhm. I mean, you're clever, flexible, and pretty. You ... are good at making your way, I guess? I thought that people like you don't think like that."

"Good at making my way ... huh? Perhaps you can say that. But what if that's exactly why I'm suffering?"

"...Huh?"

"I'm clever. I'm also popular enough to make it to the student council president, although I may have gotten backup from Reina-san. I'm know how to make my way. I'm a realist. Because of that, I was unable to believe in anything and also unable to depend on anything."

Talking about yourself first is a common trick to break the ice. It will unlock Anna's heart

"I understand that you don't have it easy, either," Anna says and adds hesitantly, "...But does it really make you suffer?"

"It does! When you're a realist, you lose the ability to have dreams, you know? For instance, let's assume I wanted to become a writer. In that case, I would realize that it's futile before even trying. There are thousands and thousands of aspiring writers, but only a small fraction of them make it, and only another fraction is able to get by.

"Because of my position in the student council, I often find myself surveying all of our students from the stage. Almost five hundred. That's an overwhelming number! If only one of those five hundred received the talent of succeeding as a writer, how many lots would I have to draw? Do I have that talent right now? Of course not. I never was the best in anything."

"...Mhm."

"When you're a realist, you look up, and when you look up, you see an endless sky. Why would I have the privilege to go all the way to the top? How could I soar up into the sky when I'm currently crawling on the ground? Do you understand, Anna? This is the pain of being realistic."

"...I think I understand."

"Tragic things like child abuse, divorce and accidents aren't the only things that make us suffer. I think that it's the things close to us that really torment us."

Everyone nods in agreement. I know that they all feel discontent with something in their lives.

How should we be optimistic in a world where nothing ever works out? How should we have dreams when we can't even make it into the University of Tokyo, which counts more than 3000 admissions every year? If we earnestly tried to accomplish our dreams, all we would get is scoff at believing in skills we don't have. That's why we give up. Realistic thinking bereaves us of our future and makes us give up. This is how the world throws us into the abyss.

"What about you, Anna? What is tormenting you?"

Anna remains silent. Not because she doesn't want to answer, but because she doesn't know how to word it.

"...I often wonder why I'm living," she eventually says with her glance cast down. "Because it doesn't matter whether I'm alive or not."

"That's not true, Anna! I'd be sad if I lost you."

"Mhm, thanks. But ... that's it."

"What do you mean...?"

"You'd be sad and that's it. Or would my death follow you for your entire life? Would you mourn for me for the rest of you life?"

"I—"

Of course, I would be sad if Anna died. I would probably cry. But ... I don't know how long that sadness would last.

"If I died a shocking death, it might subsist as a trauma. If I died young, you might remember it for that. But in that case, you wouldn't remember me but only my 'death,' right? I'd only live on as a bad memory, which means that my value is negative.

For example, if I went missing, I'm sure you would be worried about me in the beginning, but after only a month you would hardly talk about me anymore, and after a year you would have forgotten me. I think that I don't mean much to all of you."

"That's not true!"

I'm aware that I sound a bit phony.

Of course I care about Anna. She's a good girl—the type who gets along with everyone. On the other side, in many senses you will never find a person of this type in the center of a group. In short, she's one of many. Anna is never the center.

"But Anna, listen ... if, for the sake of the argument, we wouldn't mourn for you so long, what about your family?"

Anna suddenly contorts her face.

Aah—looks like I put my foot in it.

I immediately realized it. The moment I saw her self-ironic　face when I said the word "family", I realized what her answer is.

The answer to my question is "no" and more importantly...

This is the cause for Anna's view on life.

"My family?" Anna sneers with her eyes cast down. "Even though I only have a father who hasn't exchanged a word with me for over a year?"

I couldn't ask about her mother. Nothing good would come of it.

"...Oh, why would anyone care about or understand me when even my family doesn't?"

No one understands her.

I would like deny that, but again, I can't.

It's a fact that her father did not come when she cut her wrist. Of course, she cut her wrist to show me her wound, but at the bottom of it is her family, her father who neglected her.

No one understands you.

Exactly.

The same applies to me: nobody understands me. People are so good at feigning understanding that I sometimes almost buy into it, but in the end, nobody ever understood me. Everyone always dismissed my worries as the wailing of a pubescent, spoiled girl.

Even though they were so defining to me.

Nobody understands my values and beliefs, and I don't understand the values and beliefs of anybody.

Therefore I'm sure I can't understand Anna, either.

"Aah—why do I live...?"

Anna is serious.

To Anna, who is in the firm belief that even her family lacks understanding for her, living can't be enjoyable. She must be wishing to disappear like melting snow. Just like me.

Will this sentiment ever disappear? Will we find ourselves doing some generic office work in our future, and giving birth to cute babies while experiencing twinges of emptiness from time to time? Is that what we will become to survive?

Just thinking about it makes me sick.

This thought is so realistic. So filthy.

We may have been foolish, but we were pure.

"Anna."

"Hm?"

"This sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"This world sucks."

"It does."

"It's painful, right?"

"It's painful!"

"Do you want to be saved?"

"I want to be saved!"

"Do you want to see Reina-san?"

"I want to see Reina-san!"

Dear God, whether you exist or not.

We need salvation.

I demand of you to return Reina-san immediately.

"Reina-san is different from us," I say.

"Yes, she is different. She is incredibly pretty and perfect and I'm sure that there's a meaning to her life even if there's none to ours."

"Yes, I agree."

"...Yeah."

"Unlike us, she does not have any fixed definitions that predefine her life."

"Yeah."

"Then how do we want to define Reina-san?"

Anna and the others look up into space.

"Aah—"

—Their eyes start to twinkle.

"—I see now," Anna mutters. "Aah, I see ... I see!"

"You're right, Anna. Listen, everyone, you found the answer!"

There's no need to explain everything. There can't be a need to explain everything, otherwise it wouldn't be believable.

I only needed to lead their way to a sentiment they already have.

"Living is so painful to us, which is why ... Reina-san lives."

Reina-san is water.

She is sweet water that fulfills you the more desperate you are.

Reina-san bears a deep meaning just by existing.

A person like her—

"She can't be dead," someone says.

"Reina-san is alive," I assure with a nod. "And—she will appear on the first of July."

Ah, at last!

They all made it there.

===3===

Anna has become reliable.

She could even tell where Reina-san is going to appear, now that she arrived at the conclusion that Reina-san is alive.

"If she disappeared on the rooftop, wouldn't she also appear there again?"

I see. That stands to reason.

I can't believe that she was able to deduce this without my guidance.

The other girls who had made it to my level also become reliable and were able to discover the answer.

We head to the rooftop.

It's still eight in the morning. As we make our way to our destination, we receive the blessing of the sun that is shining brightly through the windows.

Such fine weather during the rainy season! This must be a sign from heaven.

While keeping an even pace we walk up the stairway. With cheerful smiles. With eerily beautiful and uniform smiles. For we acquired a goal that we can live for without any hesitation and distractions.

The sparkling door comes into view.

Beyond that door. Beyond that door, Reina-san is waiting.

I lay my hand on the shining door.

"Wait, Sakura."

Somebody calls my name from behind. Slightly disgruntled, I turn around and find Yuuko. She is one of the blinded fools who didn't believe me and think that Reina-san were dead.

"What's the matter, Yuuko?" I ask in a calm tone of voice because there's no point in getting angry at her.

"...That's my line! You're not allowed to go to the rooftop, and you should know that."

It's as she says. While I did go there once with Reina-san's brother, it has officially been forbidden since Reina-san's incident. However, because the students of this school are generally trusted, they didn't lock the door.

"Today is the first of July, right?"

"Well, yes," I answer Yuuko's obvious question.

"Girls ... do you really, really believe it? That Reina-san is alive?" she asks, looking hesitantly at each of the twelve of "us". "And that she's on the rooftop? That's what you think, right?"

"Yes!" I assert without hesitation.

"...As you may know, my family runs a hospital."

I nod.

"I often went there when I was a child," she explains. "My father gave me free entrance because he thought I could learn something. I often made friends with elderly people.

"And I often had to see them dying."

"...What's your point?" I ask.

"You know my point. What I want to say is something that every child knows: the dead do not come back to life again. That shouldn't be news to you girls."

"Reina-san isn't dead."

"You just don't want to admit it!"

"Reina-san isn't dead," I reply calmly.

Oh dear ... Yuuko knows nothing. Unsurprisingly so.

Yuuko seems a bit daunted because I didn't show any signs of becoming angry, but she continues nevertheless:

"...You'll only be disappointed if you go past this door, Sakura! What you will find isn't a bright future, but the bitter truth that Reina-san is dead."

"That's not possible."

"Even if you were to find her ... then it's nothing but an illusion!"

"If you're so certain, then why don't you come with us, Yuuko?"

"Huh?" she utters with an open mouth in response to my apparently unexpected proposal.

She must be thinking that only "we" are allowed to be there.

"You don't mind, do you?" I ask my companions and they nod peacefully. "So? Coming with us?"

"...Fine," she sighs after some hesitation.

You shouldn't be sighing, Yuuko ... you'll lose some of your happiness!

I lay hand on the door again and—open it.

Light.

"—Aah!"

The world opens itself to us.

And then—

And then—

—I was taken in.

Just like then, just like our first encounter, I took in her, who is water, or maybe she took me in.

I listen carefully.

Instead of Chopin's Heroic Polonaise, her transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental voice reaches my ears.

"I am delighted to see you all again."

Amidst the light she spoke to us.

Amidst the light Reina Kamisu spoke to us.

As I beheld her beautiful countenance, I started to cry and shiver with excitement.

"Reina-san," I say. The others follow suit and mutter her name as well, also crying and shivering with delight.

Aah, they can see her just like I do. Wonderful. Nothing stands in our way to happiness now!

Poor Yuuko seems to be thunderstruck by the sight of who we are looking at.

"Forgive me for keeping you waiting," the beautiful girl apologizes with an apologetic smile.

"It's OK! We believed in your return."

"Thank you."

Reina-san responds to my words. Aah! That alone makes me so happy!

"Reina-san...! So you feigned your death to save us, right?"

"Yes, exactly."

"If you don't mind, could you explain to us why there was a need to do that?"

"I am afraid that it might be a little complicated. Do you mind?"

"Of course not."

"As you can surely feel, Kawai-san, this world is rotten."

"Ah, so it's as I thought."

"It is impossible to become happy in this world. Suffering is the only option. If you deceive yourself and turn a blind eye to various things, however, it is possible to obtain an illusion of happiness. But since it is only an illusion, it means that you are not really happy by definition."

"This sounds so rotten."

"Yes. Hence, there is no happiness or salvation as long as you do not disengage from this world. This is why I decided to temporarily leave this world and search for a better one."

Does that mean that she counts as dead in this world? ...No, the idea of death is of no importance. As a matter of fact, Reina-san is standing before my eyes. That's all there is to it. There's no need for me to investigate further.

"And—I discovered our paradise. Therefore, I have appeared here again."

All that's left is to give myself entirely to Reina-san.

"It is a place free of suffering, where everything is gentle, where everything is enjoyable, and where everything is beautiful."

I listen closely to her, completely in raptures. The same seems to apply to the others.

We are going to be saved.

I'm so happy that I believed in Reina-san.

I'm so—happy.

"I am afraid to say that I am not able to remain in this world. In fact, it is questionable if you can even say that I am here right now. I may have only just arrived, but I will therefore disappear once more from here temporarily."

Please don't. I don't want to be separated.

"Are you not going to take us there right now?"

Reina-san shakes her head.

"I cannot take you there anytime. It is difficult to explain, but ... please picture to yourselves hundreds upon hundreds of holes. Once our minds leave our bodies, they are judged based on various conditions and then thrown into one of these holes. Some of them lead to worlds that are even worse than here.

"To some extent, I can control which hole you will be thrown into. However, depending on the 'time', which is one of the various conditions, it might not go well."

"I understand."

Reina-san nods sadly. "I will appear here again tomorrow at six o'clock in the evening. I am sorry ... time has run out. I shall see you tomorrow."

With these words, Reina-san disappears.

She did not walk away, she literally vanished.

I look around. My companions, too, still seem bemused and are gazing at the place where Reina-san was standing. Some of them are also talking to themselves as though in trance.

One among them is showing a different reaction, though. I approach her.

"What do you say now, Yuuko? Reina-san's alive, isn't she?"

Yuuko turns her head to me like a rusty robot. On her face I recognize exceeding bewilderment.

In all that bewilderment, she slowly opens her mouth and asks:

"What kind of joke is this?"

—I don't understand.

Why would she say that after such a miracle?

"Why are you all gazing into space and crying?"

Yuuko is looking at the place where Reina-san was standing.

No, that's not quite accurate.

She is simply looking at the place where our gazes meet, with fear in her eyes.

"Sakura! Come to your senses! For crying out loud—"

"—Weren't you the first person to find her body?!"

Was I, now?

Aah, yes, I was.

I completely forgot about that because it doesn't matter.

Because of that, I also told her brother that I hadn't seen how Reina-san fell.

I mean, what of it?

Is that supposed to prove Reina-san's death, or something?

===4===

I was smiling from ear to ear and almost started skipping along.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."

Aah, she wasn't annoyed at me after all! Reina-san needs me!

Suddenly, I heard a scream.

I raised my head to look what was going on.

An instant passed.

In this instant...

A tragedy took place in front of me.

It—

It fell not with the elegance of cherry blossoms, but just like a heavy lump, following the laws of physics, and with a thump.

A warm liquid squirted around and stuck to my skin.

———

Time stopped.

No way.

This is a lie.

As a matter of act, my flow of time was in complete disarray, going faster and slower at random, and it felt much more unrealistic than a dream even ... at any rate, it was a lie.

After all, Reina-san had just told me to take care of her, which clearly was in conflict with the thing that just happened, and, aah, at any rate, this was a lie. What's the deal with ... this? Why did this, huh? I don't get it. At any rate, it was a lie, a lie, and a lie, so I silently laughed aloud.

The hideously deformed something that resembled Reina-san and yet was completely different stared at me.

It stared at me without doubt.

It stared at me with bloodshot eyes.

And it moved its lips and jerked its bloody red tongue.

"—D-O N-O-T F-O-R-G-E-T M-E."

Since there was no sound, I could not hear anything, but it certainly tried to form these words.

Something was clearly out of order. Something was a lie.

This something before me was clearly not Reina-san. After all, it was obviously filthier than anything I'd ever seen. Filthy = Reality? Reality? So it had nothing to do with Reina-san. This something could impossibly be Reina-san. Impossible.

Aah, where are you, Reina-san?

Where have you gone? Did you die? Did you disappear because this something stole your soul?

I don't understand.

I don't understand. However.

If I don't find the answer, Reina-san will disappear.

===5===

Neither Yuuko, nor Emi, nor the other people tried to stop us. We made it to the second of July without any trouble.

The only unexpected thing was that one of our companions stubborny claimed, "Reina-san did not say anything about assembling tomorrow at six o'clock!" It was unexpected, but I concluded that she didn't make it to our level and gave up on her.

We go again to the rooftop. Unlike yesterday, a gentle rain is falling, which is a shame but still better than seeing the moon, because the moon always follows us around.

Suddenly, I notice that somebody is sitting in front of the door to the rooftop. Did Yuuko not learn her lesson...? No, it's not her. It's not one of girls who fell through, either. Upon seeing me, the girl stands up.

"You're going to meet Reina-san, right?"

I recognize her voice.

"Oh, you're here as well?" she continues. "Didn't she turn you down?"

I see how Anna stiffens.

"What do you want, Mitsui-senpai?"

Yukimi Mitsui.

One of the servants who arrived at the knowledge of Reina-san's "presence."

"Do you want to join us? I'm sorry, but I haven't forgiven you even though you may be a servant of Reina-san's. I can't let you come with us."

"Join you just to meet Reina-san? Ha!" Yukimi Mitsui sneers. "I don't need your help for that."

"...What was that?"

"I'll be damned if I resort to your means," she laughs and steps aside. She continues in whispers, "I'm here to warn you."

"We don't need your warning."

"Don't misunderstand, okay? I don't care what happens to you, but if this is the last time we meet, I want to get it off my chest at least," she says and flashes a grin. "My worship of Reina-san and yours are as different as snow and ashes."

"...Well, I don't want to be thought hand in glove with you, either!"

"Huhu, is that so? Well, why don't you go ahead and meet your Reina-san? Bye then. We probably won't meet again."

"Goodbye," I say without even turning around to Yukimi Mitsui, who is waving her hand. After stroking Anna's hair gently, I walk up the stairs again, and—

—open the door.

A gentle rain is falling.

Reina-san is already waiting for us in the center of the rooftop.

Reina-san is waiting, smiling and without getting wet..

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Reina-san."

"Why, no, it was me who kept you waiting, Sakura."

I nod with a lopsided smile.

As the rain soaks our hair and clothes, we are reminded of our physical body through the unpleasant feeling. Sadly, this acid rain is filthy and thus can't wash us clean.

We need purification.

"We don't have much time, right? Please tell us how we can go to your world, Reina-san."

She nods. "It is simple. You just have to employ the same procedure as me."

The same procedure...

I recall the chalk line I examined together with Reina-san's brother.

"Do we have to jump...?"

Reina-san nods again.

"I know that it requires courage. I would like to use a different method as well, but there is none."

I look at the others.

They look at me.

They may not say so verbally, but their eyes are clearly telling me to take the lead. We are all afraid. Of course, we trust Reina-san, but we all know that the panic of falling and the pain of hitting the ground are things that cannot be avoided.

Indeed, I have to take the lead. I have to jump first and show them their way. Just like I have been doing so far.

However—

"I'm sorry, but I can't jump first."

Surprise and discontent appear on their faces.

"There is something I want to confirm at the end."

"Can you not do that now?" Anna asks and I nod in response.

She surveys me, then the bandage around her left wrist, and eventually smiles.

"Okay—I will jump first, then."

Surprised but impressed, we applaud to her.

"Anna ... thank you so much."

"No, you don't need to thank me ... It's an honor to be the first to go to Reina-san!"

I'm so proud of Anna. The source of her present strength may be weakness, but it's still strength.

Anna climbs on the fence in a somewhat clumsy manner and stands on top of it. She almost slips because the rain is getting stronger and thus making the fence slippery. Careful, Anna! Don't fall! Hm? Ah, stupid me. You will fall either way.

Anna stands upright atop the slippery fence and speaks straight ahead:

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

I can't see Anna's face because she's looking forward.

"I will never forget what you said to me yesterday. I was really happy when you said that you would always need me even if nobody else did."

Reina-san nods.

"My scar will disappear once I reach the other world, right?"

"Yes."

"...I'm so happy."

I'm moved.

Reina-san did a great job.

"I will always need you even if no one else does."

This is the very thing Anna wanted to hear the most.

It would sound false from anyone else's mouth, but if Reina-san says it, it's the truth.

But then—

—I don't think I remember Reina-san saying that?

"Sakura," Anna suddenly calls me, interrupting my thought process.

Anna is still looking forward, beyond the rain, so I still don't know what her face looks like.

"Yes, Anna?"

"—Thank you."

Her voice falls downward.

And is cut short.

Anna vanished and spoke simultaneously.

"Thank ... you...?"

Why?

Why would she thank me?

It's Reina-san who saved Anna, and it's Reina-san who will guide her to a better world. You probably can't even say that I bridged the gap between her and Reina-san.

Thank you ... words of gratitude.

But this makes it seem—as though I was the one who brought about this ceremony.

As I'm overcome with this strange confusion, my companions continue to jump one after the other. And before they jump and scatter, they all cite words that I don't remember hearing from Reina-san and give their thanks to me like Anna did.

Watching them makes me feel as though I were looking at artificial flowers that have withered.

Eventually, I end up alone with Reina-san.

The rain has gotten even fiercer. I might catch a cold, I think for a brief moment and sneer at myself.

I'm the last one.

"Kawai-san," the undrenched girl says. "What is it that you wanted to confirm?"

"Yes, there is something I wanted to ask you no matter what."

"Why did it have to be now, 'at the very end'?"

I look at the floor. A water drop drips down from my hair and enters my eye, making me feel filthy from the inside.

The reason why it had to be "at the very end."

It's—because I couldn't let the others hear it.

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

"It's so hard to explain and I don't know how to put this, but please bear with me."

"Who are you?"

Reina-san remains calm. She is still smiling.

"You're Reina Kamisu, of course, and that's the only way to call you. You are no doubt Reina Kamisu.

"But—you are not the Reina-san who played the piano, are you? You are someone else."

"...Why do you think so?"

"I was always fascinated by Reina-san, but she always made a somewhat strange impression on me. I don't know what it was, but I do not get that impression from you."

Reina-san silently listens to me.

"It's an ambiguous feeling. Perhaps, my memory is playing tricks on me because I haven't met you in a long time, but ... I doubt it."

"Why do you doubt it?"

"Because it's the former Reina-san who gave me that strange impression. If it was the other way around, it would make sense ... but ... as a matter of fact ... you feel way more genuine to me than the previous Reina-san. Isn't it strange that you feel more genuine now than before?"

The rain is getting stronger and I'm starting to get worried if my voice even reaches her.

"If," Reina-san starts. "If I am a different being than before, what will you do?"

"It doesn't matter," I respond without missing a beat. "You are Reina Kamisu. Nothing else."

"Yes," she nods. "I am Reina Kamisu, and nothing else," she says with her beautiful smile. "If you say so, may I tell you the truth?"

"Yes. My decision won't change."

I walk up to the fence and lean against it with my back. I don't even want to think about the sight down there.

"I am a phenomenon that becomes visible to those who believe in my existence."

"...A phenomenon?"

"To you and your friends, I am Reina Kamisu, because that is what you named me. If am given a different name, I adapt accordingly. For example, some call me 'god' and some call me an 'angel'. By being given a name, I take shape and become visible."

"...Do you lead the people who can 'see' you to another world?"

"This is the role you gave me."

"But I wasn't the only one who believed so," I argue.

"That is because you took the lead over them and defined my role for everyone. All I ever do is fulfill my purpose."

I defined her role?

It's true that I guided them to believe in Reina-san's "presence," but that's all I did. Reina-san is the one who is to do the rest and save us.

Right, I'm not to blame.

Not to blame?

What? What am I talking about? Blame? What blame? I only did the right thing and struggled to break free from this filth and didn't believe in Reina-san's death and, aah, yes, that filthy corpse wasn't Reina-san's. It wasn't hers, so I realized the truth and now I'm facing Reina-san in person and, aah, I was right from start to finish. Impressive! I didn't do too bad, did I?

"I ... I don't care anymore."

I climb on the fence.

Like Anna and the others, I stand upright and gaze straight ahead.

"You are Reina Kamisu."

"Yes, I am."

"You will save us from the filthy."

"Yes, I will."

"Please fulfill your role."

"Yes, I will fulfill my role."

There's no hesitation.

The others jumped down, too. I can't hesitate. It's too late. Wait, too late? For what? I do not need to hesitate anymore. The answer is clear, I only need to carry it out.

One question—

One question suddenly crosses my mind.

I was Reina-san's servant.

But why did I decide to obey her without a single doubt? What was so special about Reina-san?

Of course, she was beautiful. Of course, she felt different.

But ... that's no reason to obey her.

It makes me think.

Everyone admired Reina-san, everyone was captivated by her, so much that she belonged in the same category as "god" and "angels."

But where did that deification come from?

I mean—

—We don't know anything about Reina-san.

I stop thinking.

I won't turn around to her anymore.

I'll just look at her the same way as I always did.

I'll just project my idea of perfection on her and look upon her in a perfect light.

I step forward.

And as I do, I devote my last thoughts to her:

I ... we may have suffered a lot, but—

—she must have suffered just as much.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4]]
|-
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</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu

2016-01-05T13:44:41Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 2: Ryoji Kamisu==

===1===

"I will die in a few days from now," says my little sister, Reina Kamisu, while she is enjoying a cup of Darjeeling tea on the terrace.

"Hm?" I groan not because I didn't understand her, but because I couldn't catch the meaning. After all, she wouldn't speak about her death like about the weather tomorrow.

"As I said, I will die in a few days."

I attempt to read a metaphorical meaning into her words, but at least for now there is just no plausible explanation why she would suddenly come up with such a statement.

"Die?" I ask.

"Yes."

"You?"

"Yes."

"That joke is—" Lame. And Reina does not tell lame jokes. "...Are you serious?"

"I am serious," she confirms without hesitation.

"Okay—"

What's the deal? Does she want to bother me with nonsense? Reina...? No, she wouldn't do that. What she said must be a simple truth.

Reina will die; if that's the truth, I ought to become disconcerted. However, I don't know about others, but at least I can't just believe and embrace the thought of her death just because she predicted it. No, maybe I can't do that because it's me.

"You...you don't have some incurable disease, right? Haha...this isn't some schmaltzy book, after all."

"No, I do not have a disease."

"All right, let's set aside for a moment whether or not you'll die. Why did you tell me that, anyway?"

"Because it is the truth and you belong to my family, Ryoji-san."

"Ha!" I sneer. Family?

Reina dryly calls me "Ryoji-san" instead of using some sort of nickname as is usual for siblings. I'm sure it's not actually with intent, but I can't shake off the nasty feeling that she is trying to deny our blood relation.

Well, I'm probably the only one who thinks like that.

Family, eh? I don't know about her, but at least I never considered her family. To me—to our family—she is not a member, but a piece of art.

"Excuse me, but did I say something bizarre?"

"No," I utter in response.

Despite talking about her own death, Reina gives me a smile. Yes, she is smiling indeed—and that's our punishment for treating her like a piece of art.

I don't remember an exact date, but when Reina was around ten years old, she lost all her emotions. At the very least, I could no longer observe any stirrings of emotion in her. The only thing she would show—regardless of the situation—was a smile. In fact, I can't even picture her to myself without one.

There is one thing I always think when looking at her:

—We must not disturb her smile.

Reina is a person. But we somehow forgot about that while associating with her and eventually treated her with utmost care as though she were a fragile work of art. Reina became obliged to smile and we became obliged not to disturb her smile.

She was sensible enough to recognize that role we had force upon her and played along.

However, she also had the skill to fulfill that role. Since she was intelligent to begin with, Reina quickly became what one could call perfect. She became perfect in every thinkable aspect—be it her appearance, manners, wits, personality, or her skills—so much that it bordered on being plain creepy.

We were all equally shaken, I presume, but nobody said anything; after all, this is what we had wanted Reina to be. Besides... what problem is there with being perfect?

Therefore, all we could eventually do was watching in amazement as she elegantly drunk tea on the terrace as if she was a piece of art.

...But I digress.

"If you know that you will die within a few days, that means that you plan on ending your life, right? In that case, it would indeed be plausible to say that you will die in a few days."

"So you think that I will commit suicide?"

"No, I don't."

"But?"

"If you thought about committing suicide, then you wouldn't tell me, would you?"

Reina smiles in response to my statement.

"I would stop you, Reina, if you told me about suicide, although there would be no need to tell me in the first place if you were serious about it. Moreover, you might give me a guilty conscience by evading my attempts to stop you, and you are too smart a person for such a misconduct that nobody profits. You aren't so weak as to say this because you want me to stop you, either. But most of all... you don't trust me enough to confess your plans of suicide to me."

"That is not true."

"I wonder," I say with a wry smile and sip at my lukewarm cup of black tea. "Anyway, the answer is that you are going to be killed in a few days."

"But did you not say that I will end my own life a few moments ago?" Reina asks.

"You said that you will die in a few days. In other words, you are aware that you are going to be killed. No one is holding you captive, Reina. Even if someone was threatening you, you could escape with with some effort. However, you don't, which means that you have decided to end your life. Besides, if you really planned to commit suicide, there would be no need to use a vague expression like in a few days."

"I understand," says Reina with a nod. I doubt that something I can think of would not occur to her, so she might just be trying to be polite.

"Compared to a normal person, there are more reasons to target someone like you. For one thing, our family is fairly wealthy, and your looks would justify an attempt to murder you as well. There are more than enough reasons for murder to occur."

"That might be true," she says with a smile, agreeing with the absolutely disagreeable fact that I pointed out. It's perfect. The mask she is wearing is perfect.

Is she scheming something else beneath that beautiful mask of hers? Perhaps. But if nobody is able to perceive what that is, those thoughts are technically non-existent.

"All right," I say, finally cutting to the chase. "What do you want me to do, Reina?"

Reina answers with a smile. "I just wanted you to know."

"Hold on! So you want me to sit on my hands and do nothing even though I now know that my sister is going to be killed?"

I may have said this, but as a matter of fact I can't imagine Reina getting killed; although I don't know if that is because she's so blunt about it or because I've subconsciously sorted out the possibility.

Or perhaps because I care about other people as little as Reina does.

"...I see where you are coming from. Asking this of you might be cruel indeed."

"See?"

And because of that, our empty conversation felt very artificial and superficial, with neither of us putting their cards on the table.

"In that case, go to my room when the time comes."

"...To your room?"

Come to think of it, I can't remember when I last was in her room even though we live under the same roof.

"When the time comes...?"

"You will be able to tell!"

If anyone else other than Reina had told me so, I would have laughed it off. However, Reina is saying so and she is smiling.

"Do not worry about me, Ryoji-san," Reina says to me while I'm struggling to find the right reaction. "I will die—"

"—but only metaphorically."

However, Reina died.

A few days after our conversation—three days, to be exact—Reina killed herself by jumping off the roof of a school building.

She didn't leave behind a last will, but there were more than enough witnesses to confirm her death, since it happened shortly after school was over. Reina jumped head-first off the building and died. Unless all the witnesses were lying, that's a truth.

However, because more than half her pretty face was missing after the fall, I have not seen her body.

Every person dies eventually. Every person.

This always gets me wondering; would Reina really die? Would a being so perfectly balanced really die like the bunch of us?

Even though the answer is as clear as day, my head keeps telling me "no". But that's absurd.

But Reina has indeed said it. She's many times smarter than me, and she has smilingly said it.

"Only metaphorically."

I know it's foolish to believe it, and yet I know that I'm right. I suffer of two conflicting thoughts.

Somewhere, maybe in the course of our conversations, Reina has infected me with a Trojan horse that keeps asking me—

—is Reina Kamisu really dead?

===2===

"Whose shoes are those...?" I mutter as I spot unfamiliar leather shoes on entering my home.

"Ah, welcome home Ryoji-san," a woman says as she hurries to me. She, Sakairi-san, is not my mother but an employee who has kept the house for our family for twenty years.

"Hello, Sakairi-san," I reply and take off my shoes.

Twenty years; that's the same amount of time as I have lived so far. In other words, her first job here was to look after me when I was still a baby—which effectively makes her my second mother, since my true mother shuffled off all the hard labor as a housewife to Sakairi-san.

Likewise, she was also Reina's second mother.

In fact, when I saw her crying at Reina's funeral ceremony, it occurred to me that she might actually be the person who mourned for Reina the most and accepted her death before anyone else.

Our family members treated Reina as someone special, but what about Sakairi-san? No one else had seen more of Reina's mundane sides than Sakairi-san, who changed Reina's diapers and emptied her trash bin. Perhaps, she actually thought of Reina as a normal person.

As such, she was bound to be saddened by Reina's passing.

Suddenly, Sakairi-san cuts off my train of thought: "Ah right, I should tell you that a former friend of Reina-san is here."

I drop my gaze to my feet and look at the unfamiliar shoes again.

Sakairi-san was by no means the only person who cried at Reina's funeral ceremony; mother teared up as well—although I can't say the same for father—and so did many of the students from her school, sobbing and weeping. So many tears were shed that day, in fact, that it could have rained.

I must have been the only one who was not concerned with her death.

"Come to see Reina's altar, I take it?"

"Yes."

Leaving behind an indifferent uh-huh, I start to walk to my room upstairs. However...

"Would you mind saying hello to her, Ryoji-san?" Sakairi-san suddenly suggests.

"Huh? Why?"

"I already bid her welcome, of course, but I'm afraid that it might be considered impolite if no one from the family welcomed her."

"But why me...? What about mother?"

I quickly regret my remark. It has only been five days since Reina's death and mother has sunk into depression. I don't know if it's because she lost her daughter or because she lost a piece of splendid art, though.

At any rate, that's what happens when pampered little princesses grow up under a shield of protection. It's really bothersome.

But I'm sure this won't last for long; everything will be back to normal within a month or so. Even while mourning, she won't just stop eating and defecating, and she probably won't miss out on the next lesson at the ballroom dancing school that she has taken to visiting. Before long she will have forgotten to be sad, since such feelings have to be locked away when dealing with our everyday chores. We are conditioned to by our society.

Therefore, feelings serve no purpose to begin with.

I wonder, though, if our parents would be just as sad if I were the one who died ... which is a stupid question. The answer is obvious.

As if they would care.

"...Fine, fine. She's by the alter, right?"

"Yes."

"I'll go greet her. I'm sure you already served her some tea?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"I expected no less."

With these words, I get on my way to our Japanese-style room and walk through the unnecessarily long corridor of the house.

When I pushed aside the sliding door, I found a girl gazing at the photograph at Reina's altar.

In her eyes I recognize something that's neither sadness nor despair. Uh-huh, she's one of those. Well, in Reina's case that's perfectly possible even if she went to an all-girls school.

The girl was simply enraptured by the photograph of Reina.

That's a common reaction. The same happened to some of the business associates of my father who had to attend her funeral: the instant they saw the picture, they were so charmed that they forgot to act mournfully for a moment.

"Ah..." the girl gasps nervously as she notices that someone witnessed her enchanted gaze. I play dumb in response and greet her instead.

"Hello," she returns. "Are you Reina-san's ... brother?"

"Well, yes."

That fact alone was enough to gain her respect. Well, well, if my sister's influence isn't amazing. She's pretty—maybe I should look out for a chance to sleep with her?

"What's your name?"

"My name...? I'm Sakura Kawai," she answers with her eyes fixed upon me. "Excuse me, but you don't happen to ... have picked up my name somewhere?"

"Huh?"

"I've taken over the position of president of the student council from Reina-san. So I thought that she might have ... mentioned me at some point ... perhaps."

"Hm ... I'm afraid not."

"I see..." Kawai-san mutters with blatant disappointment. She must have concluded that she wasn't important enough to Reina to be worth a mention.

"See, Reina never talked about others."

"She didn't...?"

"Yeah."

My excuse was enough to make her smile again. What a simpleton.

It's true that Reina hardly ever talked about others, though. In fact, I don't remember ever hearing anything about her reputation at school.

...Hm, why don't I grasp the opportunity and ask the girl before me? Well, her reputation was obviously mostly positive looking at this girl.

"What kind of person was Reina at school?"

"A wonderful person," Kawai-san replies without missing a beat.

"...Wonderful in what way?"

"I can't explain it. Everything she did was wonderful ... at any rate, she was my ... no, our guide, our goal, our ideal."

"..."

I was prepared for a favorable opinion, but Kawai-san's turned out far more intensive than expected. Her eyes were glittering with adoration—and even struck me as void—as she spoke about Reina. You could almost think she was a—"worshipper" of sorts.

On the other hand, I can somewhere understand her. If Reina doesn't appear human even to her family, then she could definitely make a godlike impression on unrelated people. Even more so in the case of the Junseiwa school: all-girls, for wealthy people, and on top of that, a high percentage of the students seem to be staying at the dorm. I can't fathom what effect Reina must have had on a school with such a highly unified value system.

Suddenly, I recall my conversation with Reina and feel a shudder run down my spine.

"...Kawai-san?"

"Yes?"

"You weren't there when Reina jumped off the roof, right?"

I quickly regret my question. Kawai-san is Reina's "worshipper" and I figured that confronting her with the death of her idol is rather cruel.

However, my fears prove ungrounded. In a perfectly composed manner, the girl replies, "No, I haven't been there." Relieved that she is apparently not as fanatic as expected, I ask another question:

"Then ... do you think that Reina committed suicide?"

During my conversation with Reina, I concluded that she would die of murder, but that assessment might have been wrong after all. If she was aware of my indifference to others–and thus indifference to her suicide–that would have enabled her to deliberately mislead me into thinking of murder.

But why would she do that in the first place?

What if my initial assessment wasn't wrong? What if she was killed and didn't commit suicide?

As a matter of fact, these fears seem to be grounded when looking at the Junseiwa school. Perhaps, her idolized image developed a life of its own?

Oh, what an absurd thought. I'm such an idiot. If that were really true—

"Reina-san did not commit suicide."

Kawai-san replied to my question and interrupted my train of thought.

"Huh...?"

"As I said, Reina-san did not commit suicide!"

"D-Don't be silly! That would mean that dozens of people are lying about witnessing the scene of her suicide!"

Exactly. That fact clashes with my assessment of murder.

Kawai-san, however, asks bluntly:

"Do you think that's impossible?"

"...Impossible?"

"Do you really think it's impossible that dozens of Junseiwa students would lie about Reina-san's death?"

I gasp.

The present condition at Junseiwa is an unknown to me, and yet I was able to easily envision her as a special individual to the students at the school. That's why I started to suspect murder.

But what if reality exceeded my imagination?

"Dear brother of Reina-san, listen. She is absolute to us. Can you follow me? Absolute. Things like common sense, good sense and the law don't matter when Reina-san is involved."

The Junseiwa school is a detached domain. On top of that, females are highly adaptive and skilled at building up their own little community.

What are the implications of throwing Reina Kamisu into that mix?

"At our school, Reina-san made the rules."

Yeah, right. That's what happens.

"I'm sure you understand now, right?" she asks. "Our students will happily make false statements as long as Reina-san wills it."

"...Wait! If Reina wills it? Do you mean that Reina made you kill her? No, in this case it means she made you help her with her suici–"

"What are you talking about...?"

"...Hm?"

"Who said that Reina-san was killed?"

"Huh?"

Kawai-san pulls her lips to a smirk, and makes me realize that her level of "worship" is indeed fanatic.

The girl opens her mouth again.

"Reina-san isn't dead."

How terribly deluded she is. Kawai-san has come to a silly conclusion just because she doesn't want to accept Reina's death.

However—

—Is she the only one who came to this conclusion?

"——is Reina Kamisu really dead?"

Is this just a coincidence? Was Reina so unearthly that she could give us both the same impression?

Or is it simply the truth?

At any rate, I decide to ask for Kawai-san's opinion.

"Kawai-san ... you're being absurd. Then who on earth is that person that was cremated and buried six feet under?"

"I don't know. But dear brother ... have you seen the body?"

"...I haven't."

"See?"

"...No, you can't gloss it over like that. The students at Junseiwa may lie for Reina, but the police staff that examined her body do not," I argue.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that."

"What?"

"We have quite a few students with politically active parents or with parents who work at the police. They could apply pressure."

"...I doubt those parents would listen to their daughters just like that."

"We also have money. And ... well, we are young and pretty. It shouldn't be impossible to bribe one or the other examiner with those means, don't you think?"

"...What about her corpse? You can't tell me that you'd kill someone who looks similar just to replace her. You wouldn't go that far even if she—"

"But we would. I told you that she is the absolute rule to us and exceeds good sense and the law, didn't I?" the girl says with iron determination.

...I mustn't let her deceive me. It might be true that Reina would not be incapable of feigning her own death.

But that's only hypothetical.

The likelihood isn't zero, but the number is so small that it can be considered mathematically irrelevant and can be reduced to zero.

On the other hand, I can't deny the fact that I also wondered why Reina would go out of her way to commit suicide at the Junseiwa school.

"Your reasoning is all over the place, Kawai-san, but I do get your point. But let's be honest here: you arrived at this explanation because you can't believe Reina is dead, right?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"Why did you think Reina isn't dead? Did she tell you that she wouldn't die, or something?"

"..." Kawai-san seems to be at a loss for words at first. At last, she continues: "No. I simply noticed."

As I expected. Kawai-san has merely built a logic around her delusions.

However, the next thing she says rattles me.

"A former enemy of mine, who is also a subordinate of Reina-san's, was also aware of the fact that Reina-san isn't dead. Ironically, she is the one who pointed it out to me. After giving it some thought, I also realized that Reina-san can't be dead."

"..."

Kawai-san and I are not the only ones who came to that conclusion?

"Fine, fine! That's enough!" I shout, unable to suppress my irritation.

"...Excuse me. It might have been inappropriate to say these things to a relative of hers," Kawai-san says while hanging her head.

"Yeah, I've heard enough. In fact, you didn't even need to tell me. I was already certain of it."

"Huh...?"

At last, I admit it.

"Reina Kamisu is alive."

The likelihood is zero. And even when taking Reina's exceptionalness into account, the likelihood stays infinitely close to zero.

However, the very fact that Reina was born into this world is an even greater miracle. A miracle atop of a miracle is nothing to be surprised about. Both things have a 0 chance of occurring. They're absurd. If one impossible thing happens, then everything that occurs afterwards can be considered just as impossible and therefore there is no need to be surprised. No matter how many miracles occur, in the end it's just one miracle.

"Metaphorically."

Reina told me figuratively that she would die. She did that, because it was the only way to express what was going to happen and what did happen.

In the end, she still has us all in her palm of her hand.

Reina is trying to achieved something by dying socially, by vanishing off the face of the earth. However, the question of her goal is far above me.

But there is one thing that I do know.

If things are going according to Reina's plan—then it's only a matter of time until everything falls into place.

===3===

I split up with my girlfriend after dating her for three months and ignored her when she asked why with tears in her eyes. I had learned from experience that it was no use trying to explain my reasons when splitting up with a girlfriend.

Why I ended our relationship?

Because I wasn't satisfied.

Because she didn't become mine.

She didn't truly look at me.

Most of my ex-girlfriends would then either deny it or flip out, saying that "it was my fault." That's why I decided to split up without making any excuses this time around. However, I've recently come to think that my ex-girlfriends may have been not so off the mark. After all, I'm indifferent to others, and they were no exception. In that case, the problem was clearly on my side.

I'm sure I realized that because I'm getting older.

Oh boy ... what a shame. She was my type in both looks and personality. She even loved a guy like me and never did things I didn't care for. Why did it have to end like this?

...Well, at least I got to bang her.

After I cut off my train of thought like this, I leave through the gate of my university, walk for a bit and catch myself a taxi. "To the Junseiwa school," I tell the driver, take out my cell phone and navigate to the newest entry in my address book.

[Sakura Kawai]

She answered the phone after three rings.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is that Reina-san's brother?"

I turn to the driver to inquire about the time until arrival and forward the answer to Kawai-san. She will be waiting at the gate for me.

After making the appointment, I hang up.

"Meeting up with your sweetheart?" the driver jests.

"No, I just split up with my girlfriend."

As I reply in a leisure manner, I notice that I have lost all interest in my ex-girlfriend.

Neither am I hurt, nor do I feel any guilt.

"Hehe..."

Well, well—

Looks like I didn't care about her after all.

Kawai-san was waiting at the gate as promised.

"Sorry for bothering you," I say, assuming that she had to come all the way here from home since it's almost 6 pm.

"It's okay. I live just around the corner."

"Ah, in the dorm?"

"Yes."

I look up at the school gate while talking with her. Mmm, quite impressive. As expected from a school for rich girls. Oh, look at that! They even installed surveillance cameras!

"...Is it safe for me to enter this campus?"

"I told our advisor that a relative of Reina Kamisu is coming. Besides, you should be fine if you stay together with me, even if word hasn't reached all teachers yet. I'll explain it to them if they ask."

I recall that she is the head of the student council and nod.

"Excellent. So, can you show me where Reina died?"

"Come again?"

"Ah, let me correct myself. Show me where Reina 'scattered.'"

With these words, we enter the grounds of the Junseiwa school.

I'm now inside an all-girls school that only lets in girls and women. A secret flower garden of sorts—which is a very cheesy yet strangely suitable simile. Reina has indeed secretly sown flowers here, and they are budding soon.

I must find out what they are.

Because that is probably the reason why Reina had that conversation with me three days before she scattered.

The dark red school building did indeed look magnificent from the outside, but once I entered, it was no much different from the high school I attended, though a great deal more luxurious. Well, granted, while the high school I went to was not as high-class as the Junseiwa school, it was by no means a cheap one. It was the kind of school that would take its students abroad for the school excursion, so my opinion may be a little biased.

There is something distinctly different, though: it's not the architecture, but the students. Their (visual) quality is far higher than what I'm used to for starters, but there is also something different in the way they greet each other whenever Kawai-san walks into a fellow student. The students that pass us may give me curious looks, but they don't ask any questions. I don't know whether that is because of their composed nature or because I'm with Kawai-san.

The rooftop almost looks like a sidewalk café with the fashionable tables and chairs that have been installed there. Because of what happened to Reina, I assume, nobody is using it at the moment. The fence around the area has been built rather high due to the many visitors this place has; it's impossible to fall from the rooftop by accident, unless the fence happens to be damaged.

I look down through the fence and find the white outlines of a person.

"...This is where Reina fell?"

"Where she is said to have fallen," Kawai-san corrects.

"Quite high."

There are four floors below us. When adding the 2 meters of the fence, this makes about 20 meters.

"But not high enough to commit certain suicide. Also, it's possible to get caught up in the tree over there."

Unable to get my point, Kawai-san cocks her head.

Suicide. If Reina genuinely planned to commit suicide, then she would not choose a place like this per se. She would choose a place that offers certain death and does not bother anyone. Jumping to death requires courage—it makes no sense to increase the difficulty by choosing this building.

Or did she perhaps want somebody to notice her and step in? Did she feel special about this school? ... No, I doubt Reina is a person who thinks like that.

There is thus every indication that there is a meaning in her decision to scatter here.

"Metaphorically,"

And it might be found in—

—the way she made everyone believe that she is dead.

I look around and then again at the white outlines.

"...But I'm fairly sure that there was an actual corpse," I claim as I keep my gaze fixed on the chalk outline.

"I wasn't there, so I can't say anything."

"Even if the people who said that Reina jumped off the rooftop are liars, it should be safe to assume that there was a body."

"Why?"

"Just one more thing: Am I right my assumption that the pathway the chalk outline is drawn on is not unused?"

"I suppose so. Not that frequently, but people do use it."

"See? If everything were a lie and there were no body, then the people using the passage would become suspicious. The liars can't do anything about that."

"Reina-san might have jumped when no one was down there ... I mean ... they could say that."

"That's a good point, but keep in mind that this rooftop is visible from many places. See the windows in the other school building? That means that somebody might show up who can testify that nobody has jumped down from here at that time."

"Maybe there is somebody like that, but she is just keeping it to herself?"

"Even though it's about the death of Reina Kamisu, the 'absolute rule' here?"

I was sure that Kawai-san would be at a loss for words, but her response was swift:

"You are right. It might be safe to think that there was a corpse or something to the same effect."

"..."

She admitted it just so.

This is a strange feeling. I feel like I am trying to beat clouds with a bat, like this discussion has no substance whatsoever. Kawai-san is only passively listening to my opinion.

That's odd. She is supposed to be just as interested in Reina's death as I am, but then why does she not reason together with me? There's no way she doesn't care—

—No, perhaps she really doesn't care.

Kawai-san does not assume that Reina is alive. Kawai-san is certain that Reina is alive.

Reina's death is nothing but a silly lie to her.

My opinion is therefore of no interest to her. I can say what I want, she has made up her mind.

My opinion doesn't matter.

—doesn't matter.

"...Kawai-san. You are convinced that Reina is alive, right?"

"Yes," she nods without hesitation.

"I'm here to find proof for that, but your conviction will not change either way. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you lead me here today? Why did you put yourself to this bother?

Kawai-san replies as if it's nothing: "How could I say no when you're Reina's brother?"

Aah—

So that's what it boils down to.

That's all there is.

I'm just an extra.

All that is ever asked of me is to be Reina's extra.

She is not looking at me.

She is not looking at me, either.

"...Let me ask you a question: If Reina killed someone or had someone killed in order to feign her death, would you still admire her?"

Even though it's a question that should leave her speechless, Kawai-san doesn't require a second of thought:

"Of course!" she instantly replies. "Did I forget to mention it? Reina-san was absolute to us. Things like—"

"I know!"

Sensing that I'm irritated, she falls silent and gives me a suspicious look.

No, that look isn't for me. It's for Reina Kamisu's brother. She is looking right through me, at Reina Kamisu.

This makes me sick.

This. Makes. Me. Sick.

"We're done here," I say and walk toward the exit without looking at her.

"...Is something wrong...?"

While hearing these slightly worried words behind me, I enter the school building. Kawai-san follows me, though a bit nervously, as I walk down the stairs, get back into my shoes and leave the school building. I then walk to the chalk outline-

"—Jesus...!"

Why do I let it get to my head so easily? Haven't I gotten used to it by now? With Reina beside me, everyone looks only at her and ignores me. It's always been like this. Father, mother, Sakairi-san, the other house keepers, my teachers, my friends, my lovers ... they do not see me. They only see the Reina Kamisu behind me. They only see Reina Kamisu, the impersonation of absolute beauty. The faint light that I am disappears amidst the dazzling, huge light that she is. Oh, haven't I gotten used it? What is there to be sour about? Nothing has changed. The only thing that changed is that—

Is that—

"———"

"...What's wrong?" Kawai-san asks. "Did I offend you?"

"—Reina's not here anymore."

"...Huh?"

"No more ... Reina is no more, and yet, nobody sees me...?"

"...Dear brother?"

We arrive at the chalk outline.

Welcome to the magic show! Hop inside the line and you will disappear! One, two, three, and Reina is gone! And even though she is gone, even though she has disappeared socially and physically, we are still occupied with her.

I've finally found the answer.

Why do I believe that Reina's alive?

Of course, part of the reason has to do with that conversation we had. But that's not all. Another significant reason—the real one—is that nothing has changed around me. Everyone is still exclusively looking at Reina. Nobody is looking at me still. Because of that, I'm unable to feel losing Reina.

Everyone is looking at a void, claiming it's Reina, and ignoring me. Even though I'm the one who's still alive.

Everyone leaves me alone.

Alone?

"———"

I see ... We are much alike, Reina and I.

We are truly brother and sister. Kindred spirits.

I was alone. Nobody saw me because of Reina. With someone far more valuable by my side, nobody saw my value.

But Reina was just as alone. We did not see Reina. We only saw her value.

As a result, Reina and I lost interest in our blind social environment and with it our sympathy.

That's why we only associated with other superficially.

We're truly alike.

However, I tried to resist. I dated girls, made friends and enrolled at a shitty university, in the hope that somebody would understand me. Even now.

But Reina took another path. She created a personality that was perfect enough to leave no room for others to approach her, and distanced herself from us.

Why did Reina disappear?

It's as simple as it gets.

Reina dissociated herself even more from us.

That's why—Reina scattered.

"Kawai-san."

"Yes...?"

"Can you step inside that chalk line?"

"If ... you insist...?"

There's nothing special about this patch of earth. There's no land mine hidden underneath. The white line simply signifies that a human person died here. There aren't even any traces of blood left. If not for the outline, people would walk over it without a second thought.

However, right now you can't do it without any instinctive scruples.

Reina had drawn a line, too. A line she wanted us to respect and keep out from. It was nothing more than a mark that people could easily cross like this chalk outline here, but she did signalize that she didn't want us to.

Reina was admired by everyone, but she was not loved by anyone.

And I'm sure that's what she wanted.

This girl here, Sakura Kawai, however, is clearly crossing that line. She is clearly crossing the no entry line Reina has drawn. She, and the whole rest of her bunch. They defiled Reina's sanctuary and left behind countless footprints.

—I don't think Reina would forgive that.

"I don't know what Reina wanted to achieve by scattering, but I do know the cause."

This time, my words manage to make her eyes widen.

"What is it...?"

"The cause is—"

—Why did Reina have to commit suicide at this school of all places?

"—you and your friends."

===4===

Misfortunes never come singly.

Somebody might fail his entrance exam. That's the first misfortune, but the chain goes one.

After he fails his exam, he might find himself disillusioned with his skills. He loses hope in himself. He becomes depressive. That in turn makes him unappealing and causes his girlfriend to dump him. He starts to think that nobody likes him, and as a result, it becomes the truth. He loses hope in everyone. He despairs. He wants to vanish. He begins to think about dying. He decides to commit suicide. He jumps into a rolling train and dies. And that's it. Bad end. The story is over.

But the misfortune goes on. The chain has not been broken.

The station staff who had to tidy the place of the human shreds might not be able to bear up with the repulsion and quit his job. If he loses his income, he might get into conflict with his family and end up divorcing. A passenger might suffer trauma from witnessing the gruesome scene of blood and guts getting flung through the air. He might not be able to eat his loved meat anymore. The family of the victim might plunge into debts because they can't come up with the money for the damages. They might end up hanging themselves in fear of the violent debt-collectors. And the chain of misfortune continues in some way for them.

Like this, a misfortune spawns another one. Because unlike fiction, reality does not end. It's an endless misfortune.

Likewise, Reina's scattering is not the end.

The misfortune Reina created goes on.

"Go to my room when the time comes."

Quite frankly, I had no clue what "time" she was talking about. I actually went there when she died, thinking it might be the "time", and a few times after that.

However, whenever I went there, I found nothing of import and had to leave empty-handed.

But now I'm certain.

The "time" is now.

It's now that Sakura Kawai and her friends jumped to death.

I open the door to Reina's room. The setting sun is shining through the window, dyeing the simple and somewhat lifeless room in the colors of twilight.

Yeah, I was right. The time is now.

As I look at the most lifeless thing in this lifeless room, I open my mouth to speak up:

"Reina."

"It is a pleasure to see you again, Ryoji-san," she smile beautifully.

Reina is standing in front of the window and leaning against the frame. Illuminated by the setting sun, she does not only look stunningly beautiful, but also turns her onlookers contemplative like a magnificent painting. Aah ... I can't shake off these thoughts even though I know it is what drove her away.

"You're ... alive?"

I'm hardly surprised.

Even after I noticed why she didn't feel dead to me, I found myself unable to believe her death.

Yes, from a realistic viewpoint someone was burnt to ashes and these ashes can't belong to anyone else but Reina, but it is Reina we are talking about.

I did find out why she wanted to distance herself from us, but I didn't find out why she would commit suicide. As a result, I still considered it possible that she was alive.

"Yes, I am alive. Although perhaps only metaphorically," Reina answers with a smile.

I now understand the meaning behind her words.

I take a deep breath and inquire: "Reina ... was it you?"

Reina gives no answer and keeps smiling.

"Did Kawai-san and the others become an annoyance to you?"

"Why, not at all."

Well, is she telling the truth? Or has Reina lost the ability to discern between what's true and what's for show after wearing a mask for so long?

However, it's apparent that Reina was involved in their suicide, be it directly or indirectly. It was her will.

I have no means of telling what is going on in Reina's head. More precisely, not once in my entire life have I ever understood her. Her goal is incomprehensible to a commoner like me.

There is only one fact I know:

Reina killed Kawai-san and her group.

But what about me? What happens to me? I'm also one of Reina's marionettes, just like Kawai-san, and it's clear at which occasion she programmed me.

"Tell me, Reina, why did you talk to me about your death?"

"...Are you sure that you want to know?"

"Of course."

Reina peers into my eyes.

"Your eyes have changed a little, Ryoji-san."

"...You think so?"

"Yes ... I think I can tell you now. I wanted you to become aware, Ryoji-san."

"Aware of what?"

"Of yourself. Of your own value."

"Of my own value...?"

I don't understand. Well, I do understand what she means, but I don't get why Reina would care.

"Hey, I know what I'm worth. I will have no success and I will not be of use to anyone, just like a wayside stone," I say with conviction, but Reina shakes her head.

"You were so unfortunate as to be rated in comparison to me. My value was of a far too apparent kind. The comparison between us must have deranged your sense of self-worth."

"That would happen to anyone in this position, Reina."

"Then why did you not simply stop comparing yourself with me?"

I falter for a moment but then counter, "I would've done that if possible. But as a matter of fact, you were there and the comparison was unavoidable. I was always in the position to be compared with you and you were always twice as good as me. In anyone's eyes. And so nobody cared about me. Nobody looked at me. And I stopped caring about others. All that was inevitable with you as my sister."

"Even now?"

"Yes, even ... now—"

Even now that Reina is no longer here?

"...Wait, we're digressing! I didn't ask about myself, but about the reason why you approached me!"

"No, we are not digressing, Ryoji-san. What did you do after I told you about my death?"

"What I did? Well, I pondered about the meaning of your words and started to have doubts in your death."

"And then you discovered that our conversation was not the only reason to harbor doubts, therefore you started investigating?"

"...Yeah..."

"And then you noticed that everyone is still occupied with me even though I have vanished, which in turn led you to the answer to why you were really doubting my death."

Reina's words are so spot-on that I'm left speechless.

"And you are starting to realize that you do not need to feel alone anymore, now that I am gone."

"No, that's not true ... everyone is still only looking at you!"

"But it is a void they are looking at."

"..."

"And the one who is peering into this void harder than anyone is no one else but you, Ryoji-san."

"...What?" I ask in response to her unexpected statement with my glance fixed upon her.

However, Reina does naturally not answer my glance.

Reina is smiling.

"If I had not approached you before my death, you would have never even thought about stopping to concern yourself with me."

I always thought that nobody was looking at me. That all the attention I was supposed to get waS sucked toward Reina like by a black hole. That nobody knew me. That I was just there.

But Reina is saying that the same applied to myself.

She is saying that my attention was sucked toward her as well.

She is saying that not even I saw myself.

"..."

Is Reina Kamisu really dead? I used to think, and I noticed that the reason for these doubts was to be found in that conversation and the lack of change in my environment.

But is that really all?

Probably not. I was probably scared.

Scared that my environment might not change even after Reina's disappearance—no, I was scared that my environment might still feel to me as though it had not changed after Reina's disappearance.

If Reina was still alive somewhere, then there was nothing strange about feeling that nothing had changed. Everything was the same. Of course, people would still not look at me.

Because of that, Reina had to be still alive.

And that's how I disregarded myself.

"—I am afraid that it is time to say goodbye," Reina says with a smile after waiting for me to arrive at the conclusion.

"Where are you going, Reina...?"

Reina just keeps smiling.

I will never see her again. Of that I'm sure.

My loneliness will be fading from now on.

Reina, however, will stay alone.

"...Reina," I say as I gaze at her. But still, she doesn't answer my look. She gazes elsewhere, somewhere far away yet nowhere.

—And here she scatters.

I blinked my eyes, and a moment later, Reina was gone.

How? I don't know. Reina disappeared. She scattered. She is not here anymore.

Reina is no longer in this twilit room.

At last, I discovered myself.

Finally, I obtained the ability to associate with others.

And so I let something out that I had held in for a long time.

I cried for Reina.

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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui|Chapter 1]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3]]
|-
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</noinclude>

User:EusthEnoptEron

2016-01-03T17:41:43Z

EusthEnoptEron:

/me is EusthEnoptEron, also called EEE, Eusth, Euener, Q/0g656VTc, or E-tan. Choose your flavor.

Languages:
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0MreS3bWak#t=19 Swiss] German (bad skills) 
* English (very bad skills) 
* Japanese (horrible skills) 
* French (hopeless skills)

Lists:
* [http://book.akahoshitakuya.com/u/49530/booklist Light Novels I've read] ([http://zomg.ch/novels.jpg at a glance])
* [http://vndb.org/u415/list (Non-Nukige) Visual Novels I've read]

Favorite Authors:
* Hiro Arikawa
* Mado Nozaki
* Mizuhito Akiyama
* Eiji Mikage

Projects
# [[Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria]] (completed)
# [[Gekkou]] (editing)
# [[Tabi_ni_Deyou,_Horobiyuku_Sekai_no_Hate_Made|Our Journey to the End of the Ceasing World ]] (completed)
# [[Dantalian no Shoka]] (stalled)
# [[Tsukumodo Antique Shop]] (main project)
# [[Kamisu Reina Series]] (completed)

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Kamisu Reina Series

2016-01-03T17:39:59Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Volume 2: Reina Kamisu Scatters Here */

{{Status|Active}}

[[File:Kamisu_Reina_1.jpg|200px|thumb]]
The ''Kamisu Reina'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Reina Kamisu ~ Français|French (Français)]]

The '''Kamisu Reina Series''' is a light novel series by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]]. The series consists of two volumes titled "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru" (Reina Kamisu Is Here) and "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru" (Reina Kamisu Scatters Here).


== Story Synopsis ==

Reina Kamisu is a friend of loners, a slayer of families, a savior of worlds, and a killer of lovers—and she is absurdly beautiful. Who is she and what are her intentions? The search for her true identity begins with Fumi Saito, a lonely girl student whose only friend and support in life is Reina, as she is accused of things she did not do...
This is a story of delusions, despair and destructive beauty.


== Updates ==
* January 3, 2016 - Translation of "Kamisu Reina" completed
* December 31, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 3 completed
* December 25, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 2 completed
* June 23, 2014 - Volume 2 Chapter 1 completed
* June 16, 2014 - Volume 2 Prologue completed
* May 2, 2014 - Volume 1 completed
* November 19, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 3 completed
* August 26, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 2 completed
* April 7, 2013 - Teaser page created

== The ''Kamisu Reina'' series by Eiji Mikage ==

=== Volume 1: Reina Kamisu Is Here ([[Kamisu_Reina:Volume_1|Full Text]]) [http://www.mediafire.com/download/swz9lte9s9n3kfo/Kamisu_Reina_Is_Here.pdf (PDF)]===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Fumi Saito|Chapter 1: Fumi Saito]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Atsushi Kogure|Chapter 2: Atsushi Kogure]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Shizuka Wakui|Chapter 3: Shizuka Wakui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina|Chapter 4: Kazuaki Toyoshina]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

=== Volume 2: Reina Kamisu Scatters Here [http://www.mediafire.com/download/5z8rrkz1f0c8o5b/Reina_Kamisu_Scatters_Here.pdf (PDF)]===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui|Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2: Ryoji Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4: Reina Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Afterword|Afterword]]

== Project Staff ==
=== Translator ===
* [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

== Related links ==
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88%E3%82%B7%E3%83%AA%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA Kamisu Reina article] (Wikipedia)
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_Forms Theory of Forms] (Wikipedia)
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/9566/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88/ Buy the e-books] (BOOK☆WALKER)

== Publishing History ==
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru'' ISBN 4-8402-3238-5, December 2005
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru'' ISBN 4-8402-3267-9, January 2006

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]

[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Kamisu Reina Series

2016-01-03T17:26:47Z

EusthEnoptEron:

{{Status|Active}}

[[File:Kamisu_Reina_1.jpg|200px|thumb]]
The ''Kamisu Reina'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Reina Kamisu ~ Français|French (Français)]]

The '''Kamisu Reina Series''' is a light novel series by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]]. The series consists of two volumes titled "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru" (Reina Kamisu Is Here) and "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru" (Reina Kamisu Scatters Here).


== Story Synopsis ==

Reina Kamisu is a friend of loners, a slayer of families, a savior of worlds, and a killer of lovers—and she is absurdly beautiful. Who is she and what are her intentions? The search for her true identity begins with Fumi Saito, a lonely girl student whose only friend and support in life is Reina, as she is accused of things she did not do...
This is a story of delusions, despair and destructive beauty.


== Updates ==
* January 3, 2016 - Translation of "Kamisu Reina" completed
* December 31, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 3 completed
* December 25, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 2 completed
* June 23, 2014 - Volume 2 Chapter 1 completed
* June 16, 2014 - Volume 2 Prologue completed
* May 2, 2014 - Volume 1 completed
* November 19, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 3 completed
* August 26, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 2 completed
* April 7, 2013 - Teaser page created

== The ''Kamisu Reina'' series by Eiji Mikage ==

=== Volume 1: Reina Kamisu Is Here ([[Kamisu_Reina:Volume_1|Full Text]]) [http://www.mediafire.com/download/swz9lte9s9n3kfo/Kamisu_Reina_Is_Here.pdf (PDF)]===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Fumi Saito|Chapter 1: Fumi Saito]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Atsushi Kogure|Chapter 2: Atsushi Kogure]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Shizuka Wakui|Chapter 3: Shizuka Wakui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina|Chapter 4: Kazuaki Toyoshina]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

=== Volume 2: Reina Kamisu Scatters Here===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui|Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2: Ryoji Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4: Reina Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Afterword|Afterword]]

== Project Staff ==
=== Translator ===
* [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

== Related links ==
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88%E3%82%B7%E3%83%AA%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA Kamisu Reina article] (Wikipedia)
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_Forms Theory of Forms] (Wikipedia)
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/9566/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88/ Buy the e-books] (BOOK☆WALKER)

== Publishing History ==
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru'' ISBN 4-8402-3238-5, December 2005
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru'' ISBN 4-8402-3267-9, January 2006

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]

[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Kamisu Reina Series

2016-01-03T17:26:12Z

EusthEnoptEron:

{{Status|Active}}

[[File:Kamisu_Reina_1.jpg|200px|thumb]]
The ''Kamisu Reina'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Reina Kamisu ~ Français|French (Français)]]

The '''Kamisu Reina Series''' is a light novel series by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]]. The series consists of two volumes titled "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru" (Kamisu Reina Is Here) and "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru" (Kamisu Reina Scatters Here).


== Story Synopsis ==

Reina Kamisu is a friend of loners, a slayer of families, a savior of worlds, and a killer of lovers—and she is absurdly beautiful. Who is she and what are her intentions? The search for her true identity begins with Fumi Saito, a lonely girl student whose only friend and support in life is Reina, as she is accused of things she did not do...
This is a story of delusions, despair and destructive beauty.


== Updates ==
* January 3, 2016 - Translation of "Kamisu Reina" completed
* December 31, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 3 completed
* December 25, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 2 completed
* June 23, 2014 - Volume 2 Chapter 1 completed
* June 16, 2014 - Volume 2 Prologue completed
* May 2, 2014 - Volume 1 completed
* November 19, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 3 completed
* August 26, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 2 completed
* April 7, 2013 - Teaser page created

== The ''Kamisu Reina'' series by Eiji Mikage ==

=== Volume 1: Reina Kamisu Is Here ([[Kamisu_Reina:Volume_1|Full Text]]) [http://www.mediafire.com/download/swz9lte9s9n3kfo/Kamisu_Reina_Is_Here.pdf (PDF)]===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Fumi Saito|Chapter 1: Fumi Saito]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Atsushi Kogure|Chapter 2: Atsushi Kogure]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Shizuka Wakui|Chapter 3: Shizuka Wakui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina|Chapter 4: Kazuaki Toyoshina]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

=== Volume 2: Reina Kamisu Scatters Here===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui|Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2: Ryoji Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4: Reina Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Afterword|Afterword]]

== Project Staff ==
=== Translator ===
* [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

== Related links ==
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88%E3%82%B7%E3%83%AA%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA Kamisu Reina article] (Wikipedia)
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_Forms Theory of Forms] (Wikipedia)
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/9566/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88/ Buy the e-books] (BOOK☆WALKER)

== Publishing History ==
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru'' ISBN 4-8402-3238-5, December 2005
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru'' ISBN 4-8402-3267-9, January 2006

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]

[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Kamisu Reina Series

2016-01-03T17:25:32Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* Updates */

{{Status|Active}}

[[File:Kamisu_Reina_2.jpg|200px|thumb|Volume 02 cover.]]
The ''Kamisu Reina'' series is also available in the following languages:
*[[Reina Kamisu ~ Français|French (Français)]]

The '''Kamisu Reina Series''' is a light novel series by [[:Category:Mikage Eiji|Eiji Mikage]]. The series consists of two volumes titled "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru" (Kamisu Reina Is Here) and "Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru" (Kamisu Reina Scatters Here).


== Story Synopsis ==

Reina Kamisu is a friend of loners, a slayer of families, a savior of worlds, and a killer of lovers—and she is absurdly beautiful. Who is she and what are her intentions? The search for her true identity begins with Fumi Saito, a lonely girl student whose only friend and support in life is Reina, as she is accused of things she did not do...
This is a story of delusions, despair and destructive beauty.


== Updates ==
* January 3, 2016 - Translation of "Kamisu Reina" completed
* December 31, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 3 completed
* December 25, 2015 - Volume 2 Chapter 2 completed
* June 23, 2014 - Volume 2 Chapter 1 completed
* June 16, 2014 - Volume 2 Prologue completed
* May 2, 2014 - Volume 1 completed
* November 19, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 3 completed
* August 26, 2013 - Volume 1 Chapter 2 completed
* April 7, 2013 - Teaser page created

== The ''Kamisu Reina'' series by Eiji Mikage ==

=== Volume 1: Reina Kamisu Is Here ([[Kamisu_Reina:Volume_1|Full Text]]) [http://www.mediafire.com/download/swz9lte9s9n3kfo/Kamisu_Reina_Is_Here.pdf (PDF)]===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Fumi Saito|Chapter 1: Fumi Saito]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Atsushi Kogure|Chapter 2: Atsushi Kogure]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Shizuka Wakui|Chapter 3: Shizuka Wakui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina|Chapter 4: Kazuaki Toyoshina]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]

=== Volume 2: Reina Kamisu Scatters Here===
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui|Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2: Ryoji Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4: Reina Kamisu]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
* [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Afterword|Afterword]]

== Project Staff ==
=== Translator ===
* [[User:EusthEnoptEron|EusthEnoptEron]]

== Related links ==
* [http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88%E3%82%B7%E3%83%AA%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA Kamisu Reina article] (Wikipedia)
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_Forms Theory of Forms] (Wikipedia)
* [http://bookwalker.jp/series/9566/%E7%A5%9E%E6%A0%96%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88/ Buy the e-books] (BOOK☆WALKER)

== Publishing History ==
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Iru'' ISBN 4-8402-3238-5, December 2005
* ''Kamisu Reina wa Koko ni Chiru'' ISBN 4-8402-3267-9, January 2006

[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[Category:Dengeki Bunko]]
[[Category:Mikage Eiji]]

[[Category:Genre - Psychological]]
[[Category:Genre - Supernatural]]

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Afterword

2016-01-03T17:24:28Z

EusthEnoptEron: Created page with "== Afterword == Hello, this is Eiji Mikage. This book is the sequel(?) of "Reina Kamisu Is Here." If you start with this volume, you might find it difficult to understand th..."

== Afterword ==

Hello, this is Eiji Mikage.

This book is the sequel(?) of "Reina Kamisu Is Here." If you start with this volume, you might find it difficult to understand the setting and you will miss out on a few tricks I have hidden in the first volume, so if possible, start with the first one.

To tell the truth, I have never struggled so much writing something in my life as with this book. There are many reasons that range from writer blocks and mental weakness to my neighbors, but the primary reason is that it was just flat out difficult to write. In the beginning I thought I could just take over the structure and the elements from the first volume, but doing so would inevitably lead to an inferior product compared to the first one because of the nature of the setting, so I had to change the protagonist of the first chapter and take a different approach. That in turn made the structure more complex. Hints here, hints there, hints everywhere ... well, a high amount of foreshadowing and hints isn't a bad thing, but it's also important to emphasize the parts that lead to the revelations adequately, and that might require new hints ... It was like filling out an exam where the problems itself were problems.

Thanks to that, I lost quite some time with rewriting the entire third chapter and scrapping the epilogue twice, which is a shame because I thought I'd be quicker. I mean, the first volume was almsot done by May! Back then I thought even that was a slow pace.

By the way, a character mentioned that "words are imperfect and impractical." This is something I always feel when writing.

There are things that can't be worded. Things that sound cheap when worded. There are many of these things. (Take "love" for example) How do you convey these ideas without words? How can you get them across? How do you express something that your image of it doesn't get lost in the process? These questions are always on my mind. Words feel to me like frames that hold together meanings. If you use them the wrong way, the story will get engulfed by the frame of words and the words will be bound to the story.

And that's not fun, is it?

My stories may be fiction and disconnected from reality, but I would be delighted if some of my words managed to break free in someone.

Of course, that's not all that counts when writing a novel. There are many more things to take into consideration. It's really hard work. The more I write, the more I realize how difficult it is. Really.

All right, I think I will change my direction a little for the continuation (I didn't hear the people asking if there will be one). Well, I don't plan to throw everything over, though. Granted, I can't tell for sure at this point.

Well then, as I take my leave, I would like to thank my two editors in charge, my friend "K" and everyone who helped me with this book. Until we meet again!

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue

2016-01-03T17:23:36Z

EusthEnoptEron: Created page with "== Epilogue == I'm not that fond of books. But whenever I'm reading a book, I can become blank. That feeling is why I like to read books. It also lets me disappear from my s..."

== Epilogue ==

I'm not that fond of books.

But whenever I'm reading a book, I can become blank. That feeling is why I like to read books. It also lets me disappear from my surroundings that only look at me as a loose fragment.

That's why I came here to look for a book that will allow me to go blank.

Lots of paperbacks are lined up in the bookcase before me. I open one and find myself confronted with pages that are crammed full with letters. I get a bit gloomy, but this gloominess will save me. I need a story that will absorb me, one that will gently take me into a world of fantasy, one that feels real yet mystic, gentle yet rough, one that runs though me.

"I'll always be by your side."

Suddenly, I hear someone talk to her lover.

This bookstore is quite spacious and has a good selection, but there aren't many customers around because of a large chain store that recently opened by the station. That's also why I like it here.

I instantly notice that something is strange; there was no couple when I walked through the store a moment ago.

Almost as if by reflex, I look in the direction of the voice.

"My dear Reina Kamisu."

The one saying so is a girl from high school ... no, her face looks young, but she might actually be in university judging by the air she has about her. She is dragging her leg along. Maybe it's artificial. Not that I care.

At any rate, there is no man in front of her, nor is she carrying a cell phone. Well, she clearly said a girl's name, so that's not surprising. If that had been all, I would probably have gone back to searching for a book.

However—

—the girl is gazing into space.

Rena Kamizoo?

There seems to be no such person anywhere.

She is just gazing into space with a soft expression on her face. She suddenly glances over to me, so I hurriedly pick up a paperback and pretend to be looking through some books.

However, I keep observing her with sidelong looks. It's hard to describe, but she makes a somewhat fragile impression on me, which might be because of her strange statement or her injured leg, but ... I can't shake off the feeling that she is fragile in a more essential way.

And that feeling resembles me.

A cell phone starts to ring as if to reproach me. I quickly return my gaze to the book. It seems to be hers.

The girl answers the call, shortly after which another girl approaches her while holding a cell phone at her ear. Apparently, they have arranged to meet up here.

They start to chit-chat. And yet ... the girl seems a bit distracted. I mean ... she keeps sneaking peeks at the place where she was looking at until her friend arrived.

I feel unsettled.

"Anna, let's go."

"Mm," nods the girl who is wearing a wristband on her left wrist as she follows her friend and pulls her leg along.

Aah—

—I couldn't overlook it.

The girl, who had been called Anna, smiled into space the moment her friend looked away.

No, that's not right—

—She smiled at Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu.

The invisible friend.

"Ah—"

I drop the book I was holding.

Dizziness. A gentle dizziness.

I quickly pick up the book, but I'm too wobbly on my legs to stand up again. I sit down.

Something is tickling my head.

I see stars floating and sparkling around me.

"———"

I—

＊＊＊

—have an irreplaceable best friend.

"Sorry, did I keep you waiting?" she says after hurrying to me.

As she takes breath, I answer, "M-mm, not at all."

"Good," she smiles. With an absurdly beautiful expression.

Huh? How long did I wait? It feels like nothing, but it also feels like forever.

Oh, who cares? She's here now. That's what matters.

"Come, let's go."

I give her an assertive nod. My irreplaceable friend smiles and takes my hand.

Yeah, that will do.

I'm okay as long as she's here.

I don't need to know anything else.

I don't want to know anything else.

Right—

Fumi Saito's best friend—

—Reina Kamisu is here.

＊＊＊

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Afterword|Afterword]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu

2016-01-03T17:22:28Z

EusthEnoptEron: Created page with "==Chapter 4: Reina Kamisu== ===1=== I have not seen myself in the mirror in years. Instead of me, the mirror of my dressing table is showing something similar to me. Needle..."

==Chapter 4: Reina Kamisu==

===1===

I have not seen myself in the mirror in years.

Instead of me, the mirror of my dressing table is showing something similar to me. Needless to say, this is not some mechanism that has been built into my antique dressing table, and yet my reflection is missing from the mirror I am looking at right now. The thing that appears from time to time like a visual trick is subdivided in 33 parts which makes it impossible to examine it in its entirety.

The foreign reflection resembling me smiles at me.

"It is futile to loathe me!" the girl within the mirror says with an irritatingly beautiful smile. Again: this is not me but something that visually resembles me. "For I have already been associated with you."

Why did it come to this? She has always been around indeed, but while she hovered over me like a shadow, she did not use to cling to me.

"You seem thoroughly fed up. Do you not think it is time to stop ignoring me and converse with me?" she suggests.

Spare me. Conversing with you means admitting your existence, and admitting you just once means giving in to you. I will not make the mistake of concerning myself with a delusion that has become to real, that can even be explained.

I will not admit the delusion that is you nor will I accept you.

Even if, as a matter of fact, I do not appear in the mirror.

"I may not be able to exist without you, but unlike you, I know why I came to be!"

Do I want to know? There is no need. It is easy enough to deduce the answer, as I already have.

Deduced the answer?

Aah, no, that is not right. I do not know the reason for your existence, because you do not exist to begin with.

I am a rational person who does not suffer from delusions.

"Yes, you do know—"

I do not. I do not hear anything.

"That I exist—"

I do not. I do not know anything.

"After all—

"—When people look at you they see me."

===2===

I find myself in the second music room, playing a song from a movie that came on TV the other day on the piano. The students that have gathered around me let out gasps of joy.

How did I wind up exhibiting my piano skills in an open place like this, anyway?

Obviously because I was asked to.

My classmates wanted to hear me playing the piano, so I started to perform here in the second music room, showcasing the fruits of practicing at home. I originally used the practice room, but my performance became popular among the students to the point that even the teachers got wind of it and, for some reason, suggested to use this room.

Thanks to them, I am now forced to perform day in, day out. Even though I do not plan to become a pianist.

With smooth motions I move from one piano key to the next. Because I have taken lessons since I was a child, playing the piano now feels approximately as natural as writing.

Of course, I did not take lessons because I wanted to.

The music reaches my ear.

It sounds just as boring as always.

Why do they all look so captivated as if I were performing like a first class pianist when I play so poorly? There is no emotion in my music, just raw, mechanical skill. They cannot be moved by something like this. I feel irritated, as if I was watching an apathetic conductor.

After I finish my playing, the audience surrounding the piano give me their applause, some of them even with tears in their eyes. Stop that! This was just a crude performance by a student like you! Without showing a sign of my true thoughts, however, I smile at them and thank them.

"I love that movie!" says Kawai-san, who became president of the student council after me. Of course you do. It was your request, after all.

"...You do?" I smile, again without showing my true thoughts.

"Your performance is so touching, Reina-san."

"Yes, indeed. I wonder why your music turns out so different."

"You are magnificent!"

"Thank you," I say and feel the same thing as always: a one-way mirror is extending around me.

A one-way mirror. A curious mirror that lets me see everything that happens on the other side but does not let them see me.

The girls on the other side are cheerfully chatting with the mirror in front of them, and even though I do not show any reaction whatsoever, they are delighted by the reaction of whatever they see in the mirror. Girls, come to your senses! Do you not see that you are talking with a mirror? What is the point in reacting to your own reactions?

But they feign ignorance and enjoy the conversation.

Everyone except for me, who is standing inside the one-way mirror.

With a sight at heart, I start playing the piano and the girls around me fall silent. I prefer them to just hold their tongues rather than get engrossed in a conversation that I cannot take part in.

As I watch my audience, who think my performance were something special, I ponder. At the end of the day, nobody is interested in me.

Nobody wants me to talk. All they want me to do is nod to them and approve of them. I am not permitted an own will.

I wear a specialized, tailor-made mask for every single one of them, and they love that.

Therefore, I cannot talk about myself.

And yet—even though I have not told them a single thing about me—they act as though they were in an intimate relationship with me.

—Tell me, what do you see in me?

It was a terrible mistake to enroll at the Junseiwa school. I feel that negative phenomenons like my fake reflection or the one-way mirror have been aggravating and getting more frequent ever since I came here.

Hm? Why did I come to this school, anyway?

This is easy to answer. Because my mother wanted it.

In the end, my own will is not to be found anywhere. None of my actions reflect my will. I only move by being pulled by someone.

I focus on playing the piano and shake off my stray thoughts.

As always, the melody sounds empty.

I finish my performance and receive a grand applause.

After being forced to play for more than a full hour, I walked home together with a few students that live in the same direction. I commute to school from home. At the Junseiwa School students are obliged to live in the dormitory if possible, but because of some serious trouble during my time in the middle school section (it should not be difficult to imagine this when considering my current situation), I was allowed to live at home when I graduated to the high school section.

However, because I had been separated from my family for three years (except for holidays, of course) the distance between us had become insurmountable. My position in our family had always been unstable, but now they completely and permanently forgot how to treat me as part of it.

They started to treat me like I were fragile.

Having sensed that, I had no other choice but to take the same attitude toward them as to my fellow students, which entailed tailoring masks and looking at my family through a one-way mirror. Only Sakairi-san, our housekeeper, did not treat me like something fragile, but it was still far from normal.

There is no haven for me anymore.

I opened the door, greeted my family, had a mostly wordless dinner and took a bad.

From the three bathrooms we have, I went to the middle-sized one, added in some bath oil and soak in the bath. Our largest bathroom is big enough to accommodate us and our housekeepers and still have space for more, but it is barely ever used by anyone. The larger the bathtub, the longer it takes to fill it with warm water, and the faster it cools down, and the more gas it takes. It is a terribly unpractical bathroom, and with it losing its novelty, its bathtub has deteriorated to a merely big hole. There are many of these useless things in this house. Apparently, the larger a house gets, the more useless things accumulate. Even though maintenance gets costlier.

While showering myself off, I shift my thinking to my future.

What might become of me after high school? Well, I will certainly enroll at a first-class university. But after that?

I would make myself unpopular if I said this aloud, but there are not many things that I cannot become. It might be out of reach for me to become a specialist in something that requires training from an early stage on, like a competitive sportsman, but I am confident that I would be admitted by any university and I am just as confident that I would be hired by any company. I might even be able to make my way into the show business and become an actress or a singer, something that everyone dreams of but gives up on.

My mask can be customized to deliver the best performance in any job, and from experience I know that it performs outstandingly well.

However, I think. What do I want to become?

This may seem like a problem that everyone has, but my question is of a different nature. I believe most people know that they would like to become, but are either too embarrassed to talk about it, have set their goal too high, or are frankly not that bent on it.

I, on the other hand, can think of absolutely nothing that I would want to become. Not in the slightest. All I ever do is standing still in a white realm without a horizon, waiting idly for something to arrive because there is nowhere to go, and simply reacting to whatever is happening before my eyes.

Yes, even though I have the sense to do anything, I cannot become anything.

Powerless. Meaningless. Worthless. Yes, I do not have anything.

Maybe I should just die, then?

Die? Why?

I do not know, which is why I will probably not die.

Still gloomy, I leave the bathroom and go to our video room to watch a DVD. I have not decided on a certain DVD, but because my father has the habit of buying several DVDs every month despite not watching them, there are plenty of movies that I have not seen yet.

By the way, I do not study much when I am at home. Since the speed of teaching is adjusted according to the average of the class, it tends to be slow for me despite the reputation of the Junseiwa School. I repeat old knowledge and prepare for the new things in the spare time during my classes.

Efficient? Certainly. But I do not know for what sake.

When I enter the video room, I find that I am not alone.

"Ryoji-san."

I call his name and he turns around to me.

"Oh, it's you?" he says briefly and looks away.

I have changed into my pajamas. I am not concealing my body with a single bath towel. And yet, Ryoji-san averted his eyes in a way that I consider is unnatural for family, at least in my definition of the word "family."

But he has always been like that.

Ryoji-san is always averting his eyes from me. He only sees the parts of me that he likes to see.

When I wear my pajamas, I remind him that we are family, which is why he does not like to see me like this. He has shown signs of feeling attracted to me in a non-family manner and thus seems to have difficulty getting along with the other sex. Is he interested in me as a love interest? While I do not believe that is as simple as that, it might be something close to it. Ryoji-san is suffering from an inferiority complex that can be attributed to overestimating me by looking at me through rose-colored glasses of admiration. Most likely, he does not know the true shape of his feelings for me himself, so I do not know anything else, either.

"Want to watch something? I'm only trying to pass my time, so I can go if you want."

It does not seem like he is trying to be reserved; he really is just passing his time. He has a liking for action movies because they keep him awake and are therefore suitable as a way to pass time, which is the only meaning he sees in watching movies. Even now he is watching some Hollywood movie that is mostly known for its tremendous production costs.

"It is the same for me. Do not mind me."

"Uh-huh," he mutters without even looking at me. Not that it bothers me, but why does it not occur to him that we could also watch the movie "together"?

Slightly curious about his attitude, I decide to ask, "Ryoji-san?"

"Hm?"

"What do you think is bothering me about you, Ryoji-san?"

Fairly surprised, he looks away from the screen and gazes at me. After pondering for a while, he replies, "Before I can answer this question, I need to think about the reason why you asked it."

"Yes."

"Your question makes me think that I'm less worth than you. That you are blaming me."

"Yes."

"However, you are able to predict my reaction and thus would not pose this question lightly. In other words, the true answer is more complicated."

"Yes."

Like this, he keeps complicating the intention of my question. I must commend him for his excellent imagination, but he clearly lacks the ability to tell apart right from wrong.

The answer is much simpler: Why do I have to be so polite even though we are siblings?

I suppose I am to blame for that, but you do not give me another choice because this is how you want me to treat you.

In the end, you have no clue what I want from you.

Dear brother, what do you see in me?

And this is how I spend my time, finding no rest in anyone's presence.

I enter my room and can finally be alone.

However, there is no rest even when I am alone.

The thing inside the big mirror of my dressing table is watching me.

I ignore it and quickly finish my homework. I then continue reading an interesting foreign novel in its original language, armed with an electronic dictionary on the table.

"Admit it."

What is un avocat again? Ah, of course, a lawyer.

"You are smart. You should have noticed by now that I am only telling the truth."

...So do I hear this voice even without looking in the mirror now? I sigh and perk up my ears. But I still have my novel open. Because I have not admitted anything.

"No one is looking at you. All they see is someone else."

Someone else? Certainly, they are not looking at me, but at themselves in the one-way mirror.

"And that someone else is me."

But why should that be you?

—Wait!

People are not looking at me but at the one-way mirror that is surrounding me.

At the mirror.

And that mirror is showing you?

Oh, the irony—

—When I look in the mirror, all I see is you as well.

"I will now talk to myself," I say, alone with myself in my room. Of course I am talking to myself. "Mind you, this is a soliloquy. I am not talking to anyone. I do not expect an answer, and even if I feel that I heard one, I will ignore it."

The thing in the mirror that resembles me remains silent. No ... Again, there is no one here besides me.

"Yes, I do get the impression that no one is looking at me. I sometimes even feel that they see something else instead of me."

The room is dead silent.

"But that is only because I have many faces. Because I make use of more than 30 masks to enact the role of a flawless beauty. I am certainly more skilled at using masks than an ordinary person, sometimes to the point that I forget which my real face is, but ultimately everyone uses masks. In psychology, there is a concept called persona. Human beings are thought to create a personality, or a persona, specialized for socializing. I simply happen to use personae more frequently than an ordinary person."

I am able to explain why I feel that others do not seem to look at me like this. It is absurd that my masks would get out of control and get a life of their own, let alone become visible to anyone else.

Exactly. This is a satisfying explanation that is clearly correct and in line with common sense.

But there is one problem.

The fact that I explained it to myself.

Obviously, I know what I just explained. I think it is absurd to see someone else in the mirror.

And yet, I can see the girl inside the mirror.

"But you are beautiful," she says in a voice almost the same, and thus essentially different, as mine

Ironically, the more rational I get, the more I realize that she is not a mere illusion. No, am I not contradicting myself with this very train of thought?

I do not know.

"You are beautiful like me."

I do not know, but I heard her voice.

"And you are aware of your beauty."

She says something that would not even occur to me. That would not even occur to me. In other words, if she were just a delusion, she could not have said it.

In utter surprise, a question slips out of my mouth:

"What ... What are you talking about?"

No! I think, but it is already too late.

This cannot be undone.

I talked to her.

And thus—I subconsciously admitted her existence.

===3===

Her gaze pierced through the one-way mirror all the way to me.

Surprised by this now unfamiliar feeling, I found myself looking at her before I knew it.

Mitsui-san...?

She is not looking at me anymore, but I am looking at her and even paused putting my schoolbooks into my bag.

What was that? Did I see things?

"...Reina-san? What's wrong?" Kawai-san, who has come all the way to my classroom just to hear my performance, asks suspiciously.

"...No, never mind," I answer wearing my mask again, but it seems like Kawai-san has already realized that my surprise was a special sign.

After our short exchange, I notice that Mitsui-san has already left the room.

"Excuse me, Kawai-san, but there is something I need to take care of at home, so I would rather not play the piano today."

"Huh? Ah, yes ... of course, if you are busy."

With these words, I bow my head to her and secretly pursue Mitsui-san. She has not joined any club and does not seem to have a lot of friends, so often goes straight home. I hurry to the shoe lockers.

I found her.

While she is busy changing into her outdoor shoes, I walk up to her. Noticing that someone is approaching, she turns to me.

"Kamisu-san...? Is something wrong?"

"No, I was just in a little hurry because of a pressing matter," I explain and observe her. In an unobstrusive manner, of course.

Aah, it is as I thought.

Mitsui-san is looking at me right through the mirror. There is no doubting it.

"...Goodbye then, Kamisu-san."

"Goodbye."

I part with her in a natural manner.

It feels like it has been a long time since someone other than Sakairi-san last saw me, not "her". Mitsui-san did still project something else on me, so it is still far from sufficient, but she is definitely different from Kawai-san and the others, who are entirely blind of me.

...But why Mitsui-san?

I am not particularly intimate with her. Well, I am not intimate with anyone, but she is one of the people who barely have any contact with me. She is just a classmate.

Is the answer hidden in her nature, then? She is a very aggressive person because of her vulnerability. She believes that everyone wants to do her harm, which is why she has drawn a defense line to protect herself in the event of a real attack. But ... how is that related to the way she looks at me?

"———"

I try contemplating for a while, but I am entirely lost. There are two less leads.

Besides, is there even a point in finding out?

Perhaps there is none, but now that I have become unable to completely deny "her" existence, it strikes me as important to find a way to discern people who see "her" from those who do not.

If I do not take measures, "she" is going to take me in.

I have not admitted "her" ... I think. But ... as a matter of fact, I accidentally talked to "her". It is as clear as the day that this mistake is going to help "her" to pervade me slowly but surely.

Being taken in by "her". While I do not know if that is a good thing or not, I am neither enlightened enough nor desperate enough to willingly surrender myself to an unknown being.

I suppose I will have to talk to Mitsui-san in person...

I waited on a moment that lent itself to talk with her about it.

However—there was no indication of such a moment to come.

My momentary surprise when first taking notice of Mitsui-san's look turned against me in an unexpected form. Kawai-san, who had astutely observed my slight change, also noticed that Mitsui-san's gaze was different. That would not be an issue in and of itself, but for some reason she mistook Mitsui-san's look as one of scorn.

Because of that, Kawai-san and Mitsui-san have made enemies of each other.

It is impossible for me to disregard Kawai-san's will and become friends with Mitsui-san. As someone who exists for others, I do not have any freedom.

At any rate, it has become difficult for me to approach Mitsui-san.

What should I do? Can I even earn something by approaching her?

I do not know, but ... I feel that it would be wrong not to act when at last I have a reason to.

Therefore, I looked up her address and went there.

Although not as big as ours, the house in which Mitsui-san and her family lived was a quite magnificent brick house and was suitable for a student of the Junseiwa School.

I rang the doorbell and was answered by the lovely voice of a girl, who was probably Mitsui-san's little sister. After I told her why I was here, she briefly said, "The door is open. You may wait inside if you like," and stepped away from the intercom. She must have gone to call her big sister.

Accepting her offer, I walked to the entrance. This would not be necessary in the case of normal houses, but because there was quite a distance between the gate and the entrance, I would have otherwise made Mitsui-san unneeded work.

For a while nobody came. Considering that her sister answered the doorbell, it was possible that they had not employed any housekeepers. They did seem to have their house cleaned from time to time.

While I was gazing at the expensive-looking objects and handicrafts, Mitsui-san arrived and looked at me with blatant bafflement.

"Hello," I said as gently as possible to reduce her caution.

"—Kamisu-san?"

Apparently, my effort to get her guard down ended in a failure, but she was so kind as to take me to her room. Unlike my room, hers was only equipped with the things necessary, which was quite to my liking, and I also praised her for that. After her little sister had brought us some black tea and she had lowered her caution a little, I decided to go ahead and ask her.

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

Much to my surprise, her expression changed abruptly. Is she aware of the fact that her look is piercing through my one-way mirror? Or is she aware that hers is different from the looks of others?

No ... I suppose not. She has practically been threatened by Kawai-san. She must think that I am blaming her. She is that kind of person.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," I assured, trying to calm her down. I also said things to the effect of not intending to attack her and staying on her side, which, for some reason, seemed to surprise her.

Is it so surprising? Even though I am just putting on masks that happen to fit the situation?

This is odd. Does that mean that she was not really looking at me, after all? If she was, then her current attitude makes no sense. Her attitude suggests that she does not know what kind of person I am and what kind of actions I take.

She is not deflected by the one-way mirror and does not see that thing that resembles me. But what if that is all there is to it?

"Ah ... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

Right, what matters is not how she thinks of me but why she is looking at me in this way.

"Your question...?"

"I was wondering why you are watching me."

"T-There's not..." She pauses for a few seconds and continues. "—There's not much to it ... at least I can't put my finger on it."

She seems to be telling the truth.

"You do not not know, either ... I understand."

That means that there was no point in coming here. In that case, I have no business here anymore.

"All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

I stand up and see myself in the mirror.

—No, I see "her" who resembles me.

She is smiling. With a beautiful smile like mine.

Aah—

—It cannot be undone.

The bitterness of biting a coffee bean spreads in my mouth. This bitterness may belong to "her" but it is something different. I don't know this. I don't understand this. I don't admit this. But I do recognize it. I am also aware of the fact that I pretend not knowing the answer. I want to keep feigning ignorance. But now that I can see "her" beautiful smile, I cannot suppress it anymore. I instinctively know what "she" is going to do ... no, what I am going to do using "her", and I also know that it is morally reprehensible. But I cannot control it. There is no one to stop me. I am "she" and "she" keeps accelerating me.

I am not interested in the individual—

—and the individual is not interested in me.

"She" is smiling. "She" is calling me.

＊＊＊

Unable to gain anything from approaching Mitsui-san, I lost to reality.

I face my mirror. I face "her" who resembles me.

"I believe that the evil witch in Snow White lost to herself."

I start to talk to "her".

"Mirrors only reflect. If you ask it who the fairest one of all is, you will only receive the answer you believe yourself. The witch lost faith in being the fairest and thus the mirror answered Snow White. And then she tried to kill her with a poisoned apple.

"But ultimately, even if Snow White had deceased, the mirror would have never again said that the witch was the fairest. It would have continued to say different names, because the witch had admitted Snow White's beauty and with it the possibilty of others being more beautiful than herself. The mirror would not have given the answer the doubtful witch sought."

"What might the point of telling me this little allegory be?"

"Mirrors only reflect."

"That is true."

"That means that you are me and I am you."

"You are stating the obvious."

"Yes, so it is impossible to escape from you."

"Yes, because you are longing for me."

"Longing for you? Even though I do not know what you are?"

"You claim not to know what I am? Even though you have a fair grasp of my nature?"

"But I have not understood you entirely. I need an explanation."

"I suppose you do," "she" smiles inside the mirror. "I am a phenomenon."

"What kind of phenomenon?"

"A phenomenon called 'Reina Kamisu.'"

"That is my name."

"Yes, it is. But what else would you call me?"

"Point taken," I smile.

"I am a phenomenon no powers other than being visible. A phenomenon that can be given a role by naming it."

"But if you are 'visible' then you must be linked to something, right?"

"Yes, I am linked with the Form that is based on beauty."

"The theory of Forms."

"That might be a close term for it."

"Are you independent?"

"To almost no degree. I am dependent on other beings and I lack the ability to reflect and to actively update information. I do, however, have knowledge and I do obtain a consciousness when taking shape."

"The ability to update information?"

"Even I have to adapt in order to persist. For example, when I speak your language, I make use of your knowledge to transform raw information into words. Since my hosts, which are you human beings, are in permanent change, I have no other choice but to change with them."

"In other words, information is what links you with us?"

"This is not everything that it entails, but it certainly is part of it."

"It is difficult to follow you."

"As I said before, I am transforming information into language, so my words are lacking accuracy."

"It is no different for us! I also often feel restricted by the imperfection of words. But that aside ... if you are connected to us in such a way, do we also suffer from any side effects?"

"I suppose that because of my remoteness to your common world view, there is a chance that you might lose it by 'seeing' me." 

"Which means?"

"Your world view is a filter of sorts. By sending information through it, you are able to process data smoothly and without falling into confusion. Did you know that if you are born blind and have a cornea transplanted, you may not be able to see anything even though your eyes are properly functioning?"

"I think I have heard about that."

"Why is that? It is because they cannot process the information gathered by their eyes! People who have been born blind lack the practice of 'seeing' and therefore do not know how to cope with the light sent through the cornea. They cannot filter the information. As a result, they see nothing."

"In other words, by 'seeing' you we are forced to cope with the kind of information that would normally be filtered out by our subconsciousness?"

"Yes. As a result, you might fall into confusion, stand out in the world that is defined by the common world view, and mistake your selection of what information to filter out."

"Has that already happened to me?"

"Who knows?"

"This sounds synonymous to 'insane' to me."

"That is another way to put it."

"Am I insane?"

"I cannot deny that."

"Quite honest, aren't you?"

"However, you have already defined me as true."

"That alone is the truth."

"There is no such thing as universal truth, though."

"Sadly, you are right."

"Well then, let's get to the point. What role have I given to you? Why did I wish for you?"

"Do I even need to say it?"

"I suppose not. After all, you are Reina Kamisu."

"Yes, my role is—you."

"Your role is—me."

"I am the you who you believe has been lost inside others."

"Yes, you are the most perfect and beautiful and inanimate mask I have ever created."

""That is why others will see Reina Kamisu when they look in these eyes.""

"You then wished for me."

"I subconsciously wished for a perfect mask. By obtaining a new self, I wanted to lose my interest in others because they would only ever ignore me."

"Because it would make you relentless."

"Lose my interest in anyone."

"Lose your sympathy for individuals."

"Lose my soul."

"Therefore, my role is—"

"Yes, your role is to go against this world that turned me into this. To be—"

""—a tool of vengeance.""

＊＊＊

I became aware of the being that is Reina Kamisu.

I became aware of my tool of vengeance.

And the moment I became aware, I lost my powerlessness. I was set free from the control of others.

Even better, I am now freer than anyone else and can even soar up to the skies.

I am in a position where I can easily have my will.

After all, I have become one with Reina Kamisu and can freely make use of her.

This is how I use the perfect mask that is Reina Kamisu.

Or perhaps it is how Reina Kamisu uses me.

Either way, all that is left is to head straight for my goal.

Until everything crumbles into dust.

Until I crumble into dust.

===4===

Reina Kamisu is a concept that belongs only to me. Even if the phenomenon can exist by itself now that it has received the name of Reina Kamisu, it is safe to assume that its scope is still limited to myself at this point.

However, the people around me can clearly see Reina Kamisu.

For example, if your view is obstructed by some kind of white haze, you may interpret it as a ghost or as a white cloth, or you do not even bother yourself with the question of what it is at all, but you can see it in any case.

Likewise, other people can clearly see her. The perfect mask I have obtained by losing my soul certainly exists. I may be the only one who interprets her as the phenomenon Reina Kamisu, but they can see something that is different from what I see but that is essentially the same.

For example, it might be yourselves reflected by the one-way mirror.

"I will die in a few days from now."

I say something that can be interpreted in many ways.

"Die?"

"Yes."

"You?"

Which leads Ryoji-san to start puzzling over the deepest meanings of my words. All that is left for me to do is to to say the things he wants me to say. I do not get an answer from him. All he can do is present his answers to Reina Kamisu.

Alas, dear brother, with so few hints you cannot get it right!

As always, Ryoji-san engages in fairly solid reasoning and drifts off from the answer more and more.

I say the phrase I prepared for him:

"Go to my room when the time comes."

The mirror is there. Reina Kamisu is there. Of course, she is only visible to me, though.

This is my way of putting a curse on him. A curse that I am afraid he is unable to lift for the time being, for—

"I will die."

—Right. Because I will die.

This will cause him to use Reina Kamisu and aggravate the curse I put on him. There is a low probability that he might notice that it was not really me who he has seen, but if that happens then so be it. It would that he earned himself the right to be released.

"—but only metaphorically."

Right, I may die but Reina Kamisu will not.

And as long as Ryoji-san's own Reina Kamisu does not die, the curse will persist.

Death.

It is a tool that is most useful in the event of controlling someone's heart.

It has a tremendous emotional impact and can even be destructive depending on how you use it.

Death is unavoidable and of equal significance to everyone.

Therefore I decided to take advantage of it.

I start to make preparations.

I start to make preparations, using my Reina Kamisu.

Step by step, my vengeance gets executed.

After school, Mitsui-san called me out. While I do not know what she needs from me, I cannot turn her request down in front of everyone, since I am using Reina Kamisu.

My assumption is that she is seeking for help after being hurt by Kawai-san.

"Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it," she says with eyes that do not see Reina Kamisu. They see me, not Reina Kamisu.

I suddenly feel a little unsettled.

Might her missing ability to see Reina Kamisu get in the way of my plan of vengeance? Her words bear far less weight than Reina Kamisu's, so I doubt that anyone would listen to her even if she tried to stop me. If, however, there are more people like Mitsui-san who can see "me" to some degree, they might give an ear to her.

What should I do? What if Mitsui walked around spreading her suspicions?

"After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

I fail to come to a conclusion.

For the time being, it might be a good idea to display my influence.

"Besides—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

It is but the truth, and Mitsui-san is aware of that.

She is left speechless.

We arrive at the back of the gym where she wanted to take me. The secretary of the student council, Anna Fuyuki, has already been waiting here and seems to be in a state of horrible agitation. It is quite obvious what is going to happen now.

I glance over to Mitsui-san.

Fuyuki-san is not someone who would willingly confess her love, let alone have Mitsui-san, an enemy of Kawai-san's, help her arrange it. That means that Mitsui-san has coerced her into this situation.

Why?

Before I arrive at an answer, however, Fuyuki-san opens her mouth:

"Sorry for ... calling you out to such a place."

"No, I do not mind at all."

I would like to catch a glimpse of Mitsui-san's facial expression, but Reina Kamisu is not allowed to avert her eyes from the earnest girl in front of my eyes.

Is that also part of her plan? No, I doubt she is that scheming.

Fuyuki-san struggles for along time to let out a single word, but eventually succeeds:

".........I love you."

Her words are extremely powerful. There might be no ill will in them, but they are essentially a threat. If I am basing my threat on my death, she is basing hers on her fragile and honest feelings.

They are so pure that they cannot be easily crushed.

Reina Kamisu fails to reply offhand.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Reina Kamisu manages to respond her pure feelings with a smile.

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

And crushed them.

She crushed her pure feelings.

"...Thank you...for your time..."

With these words, Fuyuki-san disappears. The Reina Kamisu inside her should be fine, but ... it was a close call.

The total energy of emotions does not change so easily, but their direction does. Especially in cases like this.

Well then—

—Yukimi Mitsui is the greater problem right now.

I look at her. Ah, as I thought.

Her gaze is piercing through Reina Kamisu and reaches me.

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment.

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

No soul.

I did not expect her to figure out that much. Most impressive.

"...No soul? What do you mean?"

I feign ignorance, however, because it might be a wild guess on her part.

I must not readily admit to it. If she has really seen through me, my fears that she might stand in the way of my plan of vengeance could turn out true.

"Oh come on ... Kamisu-san, you're just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Interesting. Referring to me a "shell" is quite an accurate simile. For someone who does not see my content, Reina Kamisu, I certainly must look like an empty shell.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real."

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?"

"I do."

I am perfectly aware that I crushed her pure feelings and even had difficulties doing so. However—

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

—You cannot say that I have feelings of guilt?

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things ... no?"

Wrong. It is just as she says. I can no longer explain my way out, but I must.

But I am not able to. Mitsui-san has understood me. By observing others, she has understood what Reina Kamisu is. She correctly assessed me and was convinced of her assessment when she saw my reaction to Fuyuki-san.

Driven into a corner, I make a slip of tongue.

"Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

I accidentally tell her part of my plan.

I expected her to deny it. She could not possibly have such a fine understanding of me.

However—Mitsui-san replied without missing a beat:

"They would."

I am at a loss for words.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

How accurate.

Reina Kamisu is a phenomenon and I am her vessel.

Neither of us is human.

The following day I learned that Fuyuki-san had cut her wrist.

Beyond doubt, that confession was the cause. Fuyuki-san is a precious sacrificial lamb of mine; if I do not take measures, she might turn unusable because she is most likely planning to dissociate herself from me as it is. Do I look for a substitute, do I give up on one sacrifice, or do I get in touch with her and bring her back in order? After some wavering, I decide for the latter.

I walked to her classroom before school started, sneaked a peek inside, and found her sitting at her desk, hanging her head. She was easy to recognize thanks to her friends surrounding her. To my relief, Kawai-san was not among them.

As I enter the room I create a stir. With widened eyes Fuyuki-san notices me and immediately looks away. I suppose this is the natural reaction in this case.

Nonetheless, I walk up to her without hesitation.

"Fuyuki-san."

Surprised that I called her name, her eyes widen once more.

"H-How can I help you?"

"I would like to talk. Can you spare me a moment?"

Fuyuki-san nods a few times with her eyes still rounded.

"Thank you. Then ... yes, would you be so kind as to follow me to the second music room?"

She nods a few times again and follows me.

"Um ... what would you like to talk about?"

While she is waiting for me anxiously, I approach to the piano and sit down on the stool. To my chagrin, I have to admit that I have grown accustomed to this stool.

"How is your wound?" I ask with my gaze turned at her bandage, ignoring her question. I am expected to first worry about her wound.

"Ah ... I was just being stupid ... you don't need to worry about it, Reina-san."

"Please do not say that."

"No, but ... um ... it's not your fault, Reina-san..."

Oh, that is what she worried about? That suits her personality.

"Do not cut yourself anymore, all right?"

"......Yes," she nods hesitantly, which is fully understandable. Every child knows that one should not hurt oneself, and yet Fuyuki-san cut her wrist. She had to.

Fuyuki-san has been suffering enough to find herself in this situation—

—and thus longs for Reina Kamisu.

"...I have come here today, Fuyuki-san, to talk to you about yesterday."

Her face darkens as she hears me say so.

"Allow me to be direct ... Mitsui-san forced you to say it, right?"

After a few moments of hesitation, she replies, "Yes..." and adds, "but—"

"I thought so," I interrupt. I will not let her finish that sentence. "I was unable to properly handle your confession yesterday."

"Huh—?" she gasps and raises her face in surprise.

"I was unable to answer you honestly in the presence of a bystander, let alone the culprit who schemed it."

"W-What do you mean by this?"

I smile and say, "Now, please listen to my real reply: We are both girls, so I am afraid that we cannot become a couple."

"Yes ... I understand."

"However, I can accept your feelings nevertheless."

"W-What...?"

"This is quite difficult to express ... it might be more appropriate to say that I can be by your side while acknowledging your feelings for me. Going out with each other does not quite catch the nuance ... I really cannot think of an accurate term."

Fuyuki-san is left flabbergasted, but as the meaning of my words slowly gets through to her, she starts to blush.

"E-Err—"

"Are you unhappy with that?"

"N-No! By no means! I actually ... I wanted to become like this! Just ... feeling the same for each other ... is enough for me ... well, I guess ... I was dreaming of this kind of ... slightly special relationship."

"Is that so? Excellent," I comment with a smile. I can tell that she is charmed by me. "But have to warn you."

"Y-Yes ... what is it?"

"If possible, you should refrain from telling anyone about this. You understand why, right?"

"Y-Yes, of course."

"So why do we not make it our little secret?"

"—Our little secret..." she mutters with flushed cheeks and replies, "Yes!"

Our secret, yes?

Fufu, I am afraid that is not quite true.

It will be your very own secret, Fuyuki-san.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."

Because—

—I will no longer be around later today.

As I explained to Mitsui-san, it is in my current power to control others. It would be child's play to get rid of Mitsui-san by taking advantage of Kawai-san.

But I did not do it.

Not because I thought it would be cruel. I do not possess human emotions anymore. As she correctly stated, I have lost interest in others.

And yet I did not do it. Even worse, I learned from Fuyuki-san that Mitsui-san was in danger and went there to intervene.

"Why ... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

Why did I save her?

I wonder why?

I am not sure, but probably—I was happy.

I was happy that someone said I was "not human," that someone truly saw me.

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human," I explain my way out, because that is the answer she wanted to hear.

Aah, I am empty even in front of her. I am just a shell.

If ... If I met her a little earlier, perhaps I would have not turned into what I am now? No, I suppose there never was room for such an if scenario. I was born with this fate, floated all the way here—and will scatter.

"I'm so jealous."

I was not a little surprised to hear that.

Jealous. It is a word that I hear on a regular basis. However—Mitsui-san said so while understanding me.

"Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I could—do without a soul."

I see...

I finally found out. Why has Mitsui-san been able to look properly at me?

It is because to Mitsui-san, I was her Reina Kamisu.

Everyone sees Reina Kamisu through me, the ideal in the view of the observer.

Mitsui-san said she was jealous of me because I have no soul.

Right. Mitsui-san, too, sees Reina Kamisu through me. She, too, sees her ideal in me. However, I happen to be her very ideal; her Reina Kamisu is practically identical with me. She has no need to see Reina Kamisu because I am close enough.

That is why she could directly observe me.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

"Huh...?"

I was happy.

I felt accepted for the first time in my life.

Because of that, my facial muscles moved on their own. I have no means of knowing what my face looked like because it was an uncontrolled expression.

I am so happy, therefore let me grant your wish.

Luckily, it is in line with both my plan and the means I am going to employ.

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

Right, if Mitsui-san views me as her ideal, then she should be able to interpret a special meaning into my words.

My deep words and my death will guide her to the place she wishes to be.

"I will help you get there!"

Just like the others.

Of course, I have not the slightest idea where that will be.

I stationed Mitsui-san at the second music room where my body will pass during the fall. The only task that remains is to add the girl who has the strongest tendency of seeing Reina Kamisu to my plan.

Where might she be?

Just as I thought so—

"Reina-san!"

She, Kawai-san, called my name.

Nobody is as obsessed with Reina Kamisu and cleanliness as Kawai-san. She was longing for an unstained, beautiful person, and found it in Reina Kamisu.

Ignoring the fact that a person fulfilling her requirements does not exist.

"You have come at the correct time. I was searching for you."

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"There is something I wanted to tell you," I explain briefly. Not many words are needed anymore in her case.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."

This will make sure that she will pursue Reina Kamisu for the rest of her life. While I do not know where she will find her Reina Kamisu, I have a hunch that—

—it is where I am headed now.

I go to the rooftop.

＊＊＊

Reina Kamisu is already waiting for me when I arrive at the rooftop. She has broken free from the mirror. Well, she has always been right by my side since the moment I admitted her existence.

"Now you only need to fall down from here, is that right?"

"Yes, that will be the last step."

Fortunately, there is no one else here.

No, perhaps we are not alone. Perhaps I am subconsciously ignoring someone.

I do not mind either way as long as it does not impede my plan.

"I do not understand. How does this result in vengeance?" she asks.

"Well, I doubt that your role includes understanding my plan..."

"Would you mind disclosing some of it to me?"

"Sure."

"I am quite sure of this, but let me ask nonetheless. Having Kawai-san, Fuyuki-san and the others follow you into death is not what you consider your vengeance, right?"

"Exactly," I answer while searching for a place where I will fall past the window of the second music room.

"Should I think of your vengeance as something abstract?"

"Abstract...? No, I mean it quite literally. I suppose it can be considered abstract in the sense that it is hard to predict to what degree my plan will prove to be successful."

"...What is your plan, then?"

I shall answer her.

Ah, this tension in my facial muscles—I felt the same tension when talking with Mitsui-san earlier.

Oh, I remember this feeling now.

I am—

"To kill people!"

—laughing.

"Of course, I have no idea how successful my plan will be, but I want to kill people. I want to kill as many of them as possible. But not with ordinary means. I could only kill so many if I built a nuclear bomb. Would it not be a shame if there was no hope to kill more? If possible, I would like to wipe the entire human race from the face of the earth."

"How frightening. But how does falling down from here result in killing people?"

I finally find a good place that can be observed from the second music room. This will make sure that Mitsui-san will also have her soul erased.

"How I am going to kill? It is truly simple," I smile at Reina Kamisu. "I will use you!"

"Use me...?"

"Yes. Mind you, I am not talking about my interpretation of Reina Kamisu, but about your essence, about 'the phenomenon that can become visible.'"

"You want to use me as a weapon? Don't be silly. I have no power by myself. As you said, I am just a phenomenon that can become visible," she argues.

"That is more than enough."

"Poor thing. It seems like you have gone insane for good."

"I will not deny it. But although I may be insane, I can still think logically."

"Lunatics all say that."

I grab the fence. It seems to be stable enough to support my weight.

"What do you think will my fall from here cause?"

"...Let me think. First and foremost, you will die. After that, the people you prepared might end up committing suicide. Some kind of vicious cycle might even ensue ... but eradicating the human race is definitely impossible."

"You are right. I will die, Kawai-san and a few other people will die, and this marks the end of my preparations."

I lean against the fence and look Reina Kamisu straight in the eyes.

"This will allow me to overwrite your information."

Reina Kamisu gazes at me with utter surprise.

"Overwrite my information, you say?"

"Yes."

"Do you mean that you are going to redefine me as a phenomenon that kills people?"

"Exactly!"

"Even in the unlikely event that you succeeded in overwriting my information, what you plan to do would be impossible. Again, my sole power lies in 'becoming visible.' You could just as well tell a human to fly!"

"You do not need any new powers. You are fully capable of killing people as you are now."

"What was that...?"

"I just need to pin you!"

"'Pin me'?"

"At the moment, your shape is so vague that people refer to you by various names like god, angel, or whatnot. I will thus pin you to a single shape, by adding a new condition required to see you."

"Meaning...?"

"I will give you the fixed name Reina Kamisu."

"I do not understand. How does that give me the power to kill?"

"Do you not get my point? If you receive the name Reina Kamisu, you will no longer be just a vague concept but a 'person.'"

"That might be true, but what of it?"

"Your nature entails taking on the role your observer needs the most, right? What if you take on that role as a 'person'? Well, you will become the most important person to you observer. However, ultimately you are nothing more than a phenomenon, and once your observer realizes that, he will despair."

"And that is enough to kill people?"

"At least in the case of those who are desperate enough to seek you. Besides, do not forget that you will become Reina Kamisu. Do you know what this implicates?"

"...No, I don't."

"Nomen est omen. The name is a sign. For example, it is not possible to give you a boy's name because you are the Idea of Female Beauty. Likewise, it is not possible to give you the name of an object like an air conditioner, goggles or a toilet seat.

"However, it is possible to give you the name Reina Kamisu, and the name will bind you to a human appearance.

"And that is not all; there is more to this name. Originally, you are a phenomenon that only has a vague appearance, but you lose this vagueness by receiving the name Reina Kamisu. Your appearance will be reminiscent of me, and so will your nature. Right—"

While laughing I say:

"—the very name of Reina Kamisu will kill people."

"Fairy tales. As a matter of fact, you have not killed a single—" she pauses. "Wait—is that why you made those 'preparations'?"

"Exactly. I will now lead Kawai-san and the others to death. While I cannot predict how many of them will die, my plan is to make them die. To murder them. To attach an image to the name Reina Kamisu."

Reina Kamisu is at a loss for words. However, she quickly recovers and points out, "This is a well-thought-out delusion, but I am afraid that the premise is not established. How do you prove that it is even possible to overwrite my information?"

"Sadly, I have no proof."

"As I thought."

"But it makes sense, no? At the very least, the people I 'prepared' will see you. As Reina Kamisu, of course. Other students of this school or acquaintances of mine might also become able to see you and call you by my name. If so many people start to refer to you as Reina Kamisu, the odds are not too bad for your information to be changed the way I aspire to, right?"

"...I suppose the chances are not zero."

"That is enough for me to take the risk. I will sacrifice my own blood and that of several young girls and pray to create this curse. If that fails, then so be it."

With these words, I climb on the fence and stand on top of it.

I look down.

All I can see is the vicinity of the Junseiwa School, but that is just fine. Ultimately, my own world was no bigger than this, and yet I loathe the entire world. Unreasonable? Why? Isn't that human nature? Isn't it human nature to judge the whole by a part? The world is not kind to me. It is trying to dispose of me. It is ignoring me. That is why I will scatter, cursing anything and everything that belongs to this scenery.

"...You are a horrible person for dragging me into this."

I hear Reina Kamisu's voice behind me.

"Of course. You also belong to the things that I loathe."

"...What?"

"You are also a target of my vengeance, dear Reina Kamisu."

"This makes no sense. You said yourself that I am you and you are me."

"And that is exactly why—"

I bite my lips.

"—I hate you."

"I wanted to see myself in the mirror. You were uncalled-for. I wanted to be normal like everyone else. But—I could not! Because of you! Because of me!"

I am surprised by myself.

My voice is rough with anger? I am irritated? At whom? At Reina Kamisu?

...No. At myself.

I have not lost my feelings and I am actually turning them against myself.

But—

—I decide not to think about the meaning of this.

"I am going to take revenge on you. You will continue to exist for all time as a curse named Reina Kamisu, as a being that torments people."

"...Is that really what you wanted to accomplish?"

I unwittingly turn around to her.

"What do you mean...?"

"You could not see yourself in the mirror, right? You were just as blind to yourself as everyone else, right? Then how on earth would you be able to know what you want?"

"I don't know," I say bluntly and look ahead again, at the world I despise. "All I can do is—loathe this world that shows no understanding for me."

In response, Reina Kamisu whispers:

"If only you realized that everyone has to cope with the mundane feeling of not being understood in some way..."

Shut up.

I do not want to hear that nonsense.

I covered my ears.

And jumped.

＊＊＊

Everything tilts and tilts and tilts—

The despicable sky is colored dark red.

You do not change a bit even now.

I may be able to soar up to you.

But I am damned to fall.

I cannot reach so far.

I can only reach the bottom.

Oh sky!

Oh twilit sky!

Just like the sun that dyes you red every passing day,

I shall continue to dye you red with the blood I spill—

So at least—

—Do not forget me.

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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Epilogue|Epilogue]]
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</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai

2016-01-03T11:20:45Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai==

===1===

The thought of how thin the ice was I have always stood on until now makes my skin crawl. I have been wiggling left and right like a balancing toy, prone to leaning over—or falling over—any time.

Japanese religion counts thousands of gods.

But doesn't that just mean that people could not decide on a single one? The god you cherish can't be the same as mine, and the god he cherishes can't be the same as yours. In other words, we all consider different things important.

There is no such thing as an universal god.

In other words, there is no god.

If you are able to look at things in a somewhat objective light and look at the state nowadays, then you will see: It is foolish to believe in something.

What people ultimately believe in are tangible things. Money. Because money is much more certain than intangible things like love and friendship. People believe in money, the inorganic, equivalent and quickly betraying thing that gets stained with finger marks in people's pockets and created day by day by human hands at the bank.

It's filthy in a way.

And yet, I knew that nothing could help me better than money, and that I could even buy love and friendship if I used it the right way. In the end, I believed in money in every respect. On one side, those old, wrinkled banknotes that came and went to and from my pocket were dear to me, and the other side, I felt filthy and ended up in despair.

Ultimately, in my world there was nothing to believe in, nothing to hold on to.

I wanted to believe in something beautiful, something pure.

However, there was no such thing no matter where I searched and even if I tried to believe in something, I couldn't shake off my doubts. I ended up trembling in fear of falling.

But that time has ended.

[Plink]

Whenever I think of what creates and defines my foothold, the "Heroic Polonaise" starts to play in my mind. This transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental melody is my guide to a steadfast world.

If I were to describe it as an image, then it would be a lake with water so transparent that I forget that there is water.

What I believe in?

—Reina Kamisu.

I do therefore not forgive people who deny her.

But because everybody knows how beautiful and splendid she is, I did not have to deal with such a person. It was unthinkable that someone would deny her.

However—

Yukimi Mitsui appeared and denied Reina-san.

Enemy! She was my enemy! She was the enemy of us who believe in Reina-san!

I could not let her get away with this. Never.

Denying Reina-san is equivalent to destroying my foothold, to putting me back on thin ice. I could not allow that. What right did she have? "Who do you think you are?" I thought and actually asked her.

However, she ignored my warning and chose to remain my foe. Her attitude was a clear message of enmity to me and the other believers.

Yeah, you have got some nerve. I'll fight you back, then.

I told the members of the student council, which was constructed of students who also believed in Reina-san, about Yukimi Mitsui. That was enough to arrange her removal from the Junseiwa school. This place is full of people believing in Reina-san, who also consider anyone who denies her their enemy.

I was satisfied.

After I had launched a devastating attack at my foe, I was already satisfied.

I was forgetful.

A baited cat may grow as fierce as a lion

Yes, satisfied with making an attack, I forgot to keep my guard up.

Blood.

When I returned to my room at the dorm, my roommate Anna Fuyuki was lying in her own blood in the shower room.

For a few moments I was overwhelmed. Absent-mindedly I gazed at the blood flowing down the drain, at the razor blade, at Anna's naked body as water showered on her, at her left wrist and the straight cut, at the blood spilling from there, and finally I screamed, "Anna!" as I rushed to her and held her.

Brr!

Anna has been taking an ice-cold shower, but that is hardly the only reason why she's so cold. Red blood. Milky skin. Blue lips.

Aah, what should I do? I-I must stop the blood ... B-But warming her body comes first. And I have to call the ambulance. Aah, where to start? Why did this happen, anyway?

Only after I take a deep breath it occurs to me that I should stop the shower.

"...Sakura," Anna mutters.

"Why did you do this...?"

"...Sorry for ... troubling you," she says without answering my question. There's no need for her to apologize!

I shake my head and dash out of the room with a "wait a second!" I can't cope with this alone. I need help. After I fetch Yuuko Kasuga and Emi Tachibana from the neighboring room, I have Yuuko bind up Anna's wound because she aspires to become a doctor. In the meantime, Emi calls the ambulance and informs the head of the dorm, whereas I wipe Anna with a towel, put her underwear on, and wrap a blanket around her.

"I'm so sorry..." she keeps apologizing while we are helping her.

To my relief, the flow of blood stops surprisingly easily. "It's not deep," Yuuko whispers into my ear.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry ... I didn't mean to trouble you!" Anna cries.

I shake my head a few times.

Anna, why do you keep apologizing? Didn't you just cut yourself impulsively because something hurt you? Then why—

"———"

A thought suddenly crosses my mind.

The cut is not deep according to Yuuko, but when I found Anna, she was bleeding profusely.

Most likely, she had cut her wrist moments before I arrived at our room.

No ... considering how hard she is apologizing, something else suggests itself.

Anna cut her wrist in the very moment I arrived here.

We have been living here for over a year; I think I know Anna fairly well. I knot about her family problems and the fact that she's so weak as to cut her wrists, and I also know that she's so weak as to be afraid of dying.

Self-harm is a little different from attempted suicide because the scars are made for others to see. They're a message to the world that screams "look how much I'm suffering!" Then who did Anna want to send this message to?

The answer is quite obvious: to me.

Anna is weak.

She does not believe in her own strength, she undervalues herself, and because of that, she is dependent on others. She thinks she can't solve her problems on her own.

Anna wanted to show her suffering to me. She wanted me to save her.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry..."

As she keeps weeping, I give her a hug.

"Sakura...?"

"It's okay, don't worry!"

We have a savior.

We have Reina-san.

After a short while, the ambulance arrived (of course we made sure that Anna wore her clothes at this point). I got into the coach together with her and kept holding her hand on our way to the hospital. By the time we arrived, her hand had turned a little warmer than it initially was.

Since the blood flow had already stopped, there was no need for a blood transfusion. The treatment of her wound didn't take too long; I sat next to her and watched as the doctor scolded her, saying "Don't do this again," and proceeded to disinfecting her wound and binding it up. As a side-note, her parents didn't come. I don't know if they were even contacted, though.

After we left the hospital, I took her to a café that serves delicious black tea. I figured that we would end up getting home a bit late, but I was sure the chief of our dorm wouldn't sound us out after what had happened.

I ordered Darjeeling tea, Anna ordered apple tea. We both kept quiet while we were waiting for our tea to be served.

During that time, I sneaked a few peeks at the bandage around Anna's left wrist.

The cut may have been not that deep, but considering the amount of blood that spilled, this is going to leave a scar.

I wonder if Anna is even aware of the graveness of that scar?

There is only one reason for a scar in a place like this. As soon as someone sees it, that someone will immediately look at her in a different light.

...No, that's still a minor issue.

The one who should not look at this scar the most is—Anna herself.

No matter how happy her life, she will always have this scar with her. And whenever she looks at her wrist, it will remind her of the moment she cut herself. She will become anxious again. She will have to face her family issues and the actual reason that led to the self-harm over and over.

　They say that with every sigh you lose a bit of your happiness, which I can fully understand. After all, if you think you're unhappy, then you will inevitably turn unhappy regardless of your actual situation. Once you persuade yourself of your own misery, you will blame everything on it. Met with an accident? Because you're hapless. Got dumped by your lover? Because you're hapless. Lost in that lottery? Because you're hapless. Tripped? Because you're hapless. Your haplessness becomes the source for everything, even though there might be valid other reasons. Thing that you would originally not even care about feel like mishaps. And since you think it's your fate, you keep falling down into misery for the rest of your life.

In this sense, Anna's scar is a much clearer sign of "misery" than a sigh, and as such, a much stronger curse that attracts misery.

Our tea arrives. I use this as a sign to start a conversation.

"Anna, what's wrong?"

She ponders for a moment and, for some reason, eventually decides to shake her head.

"It's ... nothing."

"Of course there's something."

"No ... as I once told you, living is painful to me, Sakura. It hurts so much to live. This feeling has been growing for a while now and simply reached the limit."

Is she lying? No. I can read as much off her face.

However—

"But there has to be something that triggered it. You wouldn't cut your wrist without a reason."

I am sure of that. Otherwise, there would be no point in harming herself in front of me.

My remark was correct, apparently: Anna casts her eyes down.

"Come, Anna, tell me about it."

However, Anna hesitates long enough for me to finish my Darjeeling tea, and yet she subconsciously wants to say it. She is not faltering, she is just hesitating. I'm starting to get annoyed.

In the next moment, however, my annoyance is blown away.

"I can no longer be by Reina-san's side."

"Huh?"

In utter surprise, I forget to place my tea cup back on the table.

"Reina-san rejected me."

What is the meaning of this...?

Reina-san rejected Anna?

That's not possible. Reina-san does not make exceptions when associating with people. If she would reject someone, then because—

"Anna ... did you perhaps confess your love...?"

"...I did," she nods with tears in her eyes.

Yes. If Reina-san were to reject someone, then because that someone approached her up to that distance.

"Why would you do that?! Reina-san cannot be degraded to a love interest. I can understand the urge to have her all for yourself, but why would you betray us and risk to be rejected by—"

Suddenly, it clicks with me.

Anna would not do something like this of her own accord. That's just not her personality. She would never take a risk so big as to cut her wrists while knowing that she hardly has any chances.

Then why...? Why did Anna confess to Reina-san?

"———"

Ah, of course.

"...Who threatened you, Anna?"

Her tear-stained eyes widen.

"You weren't just talked into it, right? You're the type of girl who would keep some distance if the other girls joked about 'confessing to Reina-san.'"

"..."

"Who was it that threatened you?"

"..."

Anna does not answer. She must have been told to keep quiet about it. Or perhaps she's just afraid of angering the culprit.

Considering her gentle nature, she might just want to avoid hurting that person.

After all, I'm not willing to forgive the culprit.

It goes without saying how deep the sin and how severe the punishment of taking Reina-san from one of us is.

A world without Reina-san ... Aah, just picturing it to myself makes me feel as if I was drying up from the inside.

Because the liquid that is Reina-san is drawn out of my body...?

Indeed ... as a matter of fact, Anna did also lose her own red liquid.

That's the horrible thing the culprit did to Anna.

I will kill her.

I will kill that culprit!

"Who was it, Anna?" I ask again.

"..."

"You have to tell me; she made you cut your wrist!"

"...But..."

"No buts!"

"...I mean..."

"...Fine. I'll just have a guess."

There are only so many suspects. Firstly, it can't be one of "us." Apart from the fact that "we" understand the pain of losing Reina-san, we would choose another method even if we wanted to bully Anna because there was a chance that she would succeed. Then again ... Anna is not a person with many enemies. In fact, I don't know of anyone who dislikes her.

That means that the culprit is not set against Anna herself, but "us" as a group.

—A person who is hostile against "us"?

I know one. I know someone who fits the bill perfectly.

"Yukimi Mitsui."

From the expression on Anna's face I can read that I am right.

So it was she, eh?

That scumbag who made fun of Reina-san, eh? So after insulting Reina-san, so even hurt my weak Anna?

I'll kill her.

I'm gonna kill her!

I resolved to eliminate Yukimi Mitsui from the Junseiwa school.

There is no doubt that it was she who cornered Anna. A few other students witnessed how she took Anna somewhere (and I'm shocked that they did not step in to help her).

I purchased our weapons through the Internet and drilled down her personal information. As most of the students at this school, her family environment turned out to be very peculiar. This piece of information will be useful to torment her.

Together with Yuuko, Emi, and other students who loathed Yukimi Mitsui for what she did to Anna, I proceeded to executing the elimination plan. We will show no mercy to our enemy. It is important to choose your friends and foes wisely, especially at our age where we are still weak by ourselves. If you show mercy to your enemy, you will end up suffering yourself. Anna did not take part in the elimination. Poor thing. That's why she has to suffer!

After school, we first make sure that Reina-san isn't around and then march into Yuki Mitsui's classroom. The disquieting air about us causes the other senior students, who are still present, to look at us, but because Yukimi Mitsui is the center of trouble, they don't intervene.

"What is it?" she asks snappily. "What does the bunch of you want from me?"

I ignore her barking and press my stun gun against her side.

"Ugha!"

She sinks into a crouch.

"Hmm? What was that strange screech about?" I smirk and, as I look down at Yukimi Mitsui, who is holding her side, I command, "Senpai, mind tagging along with me"

She looks up at me with—haha!—fear written all over her face.

"...Where?"

"Just shut up and follow me, okay?"

She didn't dare to resist or escape. Quite satisfied by that, we walk to the back of the gym.

Once we arrive at our destination, I order my companions to keep watch and turn to Yukimi Mitsui, who is clearly intimidated by us (although she is still trying to look brave), with a scowl.

"So I heard what you did."

"...Did what?"

"Want to play dumb? Remember what you did to Anna Fuyuki?"

She screws up her face and averts her eyes without a word of denial.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

I proceed to corner her with the information I gathered, the weapons I bought, and piercing words. Even she could not help losing heart. But my anger hasn't been vented yet. I kick her in the stomach. It's not enough. I haven't vented on her enough. She made fun of Reina-san, she made fun of "us", and she hassled Anna. I can't forgive her. She hurt "us". I won't forgive her.

And yet...

"My head."

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Despite the situation she is in, she started to provoke me.

She completely blew my fuses. That just burned a few of the wires in my head. This girl is playing me for a fool, thinking that I won't really beat her. She is belittling me, thinking that I'm just a tag-along who's clinging to Reina-san. She is looking down on me. She thinks I'm a dependent piece of shit. Don't you think you can make a fool of me! I'll show you what I'm capable of! I'll eliminate you not only from this school, but from this very world that Reina-san lives in!

I raise my club.

"What are you doing there?"

All of a sudden, Reina-san's voice reaches my ears.

I lower my club again. Yukimi Mitsui seems to be just as surprised as I am. It's unlikely that she called her.

"Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!"

However, Reina-san calmly brushes off my yell and counters, "If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's ... because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," she says in a slightly insistent tone. It might really be just slightly in all objectivity, but this is the strongest expression of intent in Reina-san's scale.

Why would she stop me? Yukimi Mitsui is a jerk who even tormented Anna and—

"—Ah."

I look at Reina-san.

I see ... she knows everything. Of course, I'm mad at Yukimi Mitsui for making light of Reina-san.

However, I only went this far—or at least I only thought of murder—not because of Reina-san, but because of Anna.

I was about to use Reina-san as a pretext for avenging Anna .

As such, she has all the right to stop me. She would never approve of being an excuse for taking revenge on somebody. No, her word is absolute to us either way.

"...OK..."

So I have to obey.

We gave up on using violence on Yukimi Mitsui and walked away from the gym. Since I was disheartened by Reina-san's clear denial of my actions and the others were aware of that, we exchanged no words for a while.

We then called it a day. Only my neighbors, Yuuko and Emi, stayed with me.

"Was that really okay?" Yuuko asks.

"...Nothing we could do, was there? We can't just disobey Reina-san!"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"Huh?"

"I was just wondering if it was okay to leave Reina-san alone with Yukimi Mitsui."

I immediately returned to the back of the gym, but they had already left. I headed to the school building.

Yukimi Mitsui must not be underestimated. She can be very belligerent, and on top of that she must be irritated because of what we did to her. God knows what she's going to do to Reina-san, the person who symbolizes "us."

Needless to say, harming Reina-san is on a whole different level compared to harming Anna.

But Yukimi Mitsui might have turned desperate and plan to soil our symbol.

I run around on the school grounds back and forth, and at last, find Reina-san in the corridor where the second music room is located.

"Reina-san!"

She turns around to me. At a glance, it doesn't seem like she was hurt in any way.

"Kawai-san?"

"Are you all right? Did Yukimi Mitsui do anything to you?"

"Mitsui-san?" she asks and then smiles. "It seems that you have a false picture of Mitsui-san. She is not the kind of person who would do anything to me."

"I don't have a false picture of her. But ... are you really unhurt?"

"Yes, of course."

I let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, my fears were ungrounded this time.

Reina-san gives me a wry smile.

Suddenly, I feel horribly embarrassed as I recall that she has willfully denied my actions earlier.

However, her next words blow me away.

"You have come at the correct time. I was searching for you."

"What?!"

Me? Reina-san was searching for me?

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

Reina-san nods with a smile.

"There is something I wanted to tell you."

"Ah ... I feel honored."

"You are exaggerating."

As if!

"What is it that you wanted to tell me, if I may ask?"

With an ever-so-beautiful smile, she said:

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."


Ten minutes later Reina-san died.

===2===

I picture Reina Kamisu to myself.

Above all she is beautiful. It's as if she was perfection given form. No, you could even say that she is perfection.

She is water so pure and transparent that you can't tell where it starts. I tasted from this pure water and had my life saved by it. A human body consists to 70 percent of water. In other words, 70 percent of my body consists already of Reina-san.

The water that is Reina-san is becoming clouded? The foothold is collapsing?

Impossible.

The conclusion that can be drawn is simple.

Reina Kamisu is not dead.

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

Yukimi Mitsui said so.

Even the girl that I considered my enemy said so.

She also announced to be an underling of Reina Kamisu.

Quite frankly, I underestimated Reina-san's excellence.

I was under the impression that by being with her I was able to increase her value to some extent. Of course, I was completely wrong! Reina-san had no problems showing her splendor to its best advantage even in places that are outside my circle of influence.

Therefore, it's perfectly possible that plans for feigning her death came to be without my knowing.

How they did it?

I don't care. The only thing that matters is the fact that she's alive.

Besides ... would Reina-san even need any realistic means for something as minor as feigning her death?

Of course not.

Reina-san can overcome even death.

I met Reina-san's brother, Ryoji-san. He has also noticed that she's still alive. That makes him the third one of us and proves that it's an undeniable fact that Reina-san's alive.

On his request, I showed him around in school. He acted a bit strange here and there, but he also said this to me:

"I don't know what Reina wanted to achieve by scattering, but I do know the cause."

"What is it...?"

"The cause is—you and your friends."

I was confused at first.

What is the meaning of this? It was us who made her scatter? Has her brother perhaps gotten to this conclusion by talking to me?

Reina-san scattered because of ... us?

No, Reina-san scattered for us.

Which means...?

Right, Reina-san feigned her death for us.

I see. That would explain why she chose to feign her death at this school. It was all for our sake. Reina-san is trying to save us hopeless lambs.

Right, we are hopeless.

Anna, for example, suffers because of her family problems. I, for example, am unable to see anything but a dark, dull future. Because there is no god in this world, there is nothing to depend on and there is no hope for us.

That doesn't make sense!

This system is way too unbalanced. Too unfair. Too absurd. How is that OK? Everything's a lie except for the things that hurt? That's cruel!

Therefore, Reina-san can't be dead.

No, she can't be dead.

She can't be dead.

She's alive.

A-L-I-V-E.

I will kill everyone who dares to claim that she's dead in front of me. Because they're too stupid to be kept alive. Why do these ugly maggots even breathe even though they are blinded by commons sense, even though they believe in nothing but money!

Reina-san simply disappeared somewhere because of some reason.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."


The meaning of her last words starts to dawn on me.

She entrusted me with a task.

What task?

To preserve her place for when she appears again.

Reina-san is not dead, but only very few are aware of it. At this time, it's only Yukimi Mitsui, her brother and me. There may be more, but the number stays small. Moreover, there must be people who have doubts about the lie that is Reina-san's death, but they are lacking evidence.

However, it's true that the lie she spread is very cunning. So cunning, in fact, that the lie will become true once everyone starts to believe it. I don't want to state the obvious, but the dead can't coexist with the living. Dead people lose their relation to the living.

Reina-san will come back, but I feel that her return is bound to certain conditions.

After all, Reina-san is trying to save us. Salvation does not come to people who don't believe in salvation. Therefore, those who forgot her, those who lost faith in her will not be saved. There is no reason for her to appear in a place where she has been forgotten, in a place that is outside the range of her salvation.

It means that I have to make sure she has a place to return to.

In order to meet Reina-san—in order to meet again her again—I have to keep her place unoccupied.

I see! This is a trial.

A trial to test my faith in Reina-san.

As a way to arrange a place for Reina-san, I chose to take advantage of my position as the president of the student council. I asked the teachers to let me have a speech at the monthly assembly and received permission.

The day of the assembly arrived in no time. Through the microphone the teacher who presided over the assembly says, "The president of the student council would like to take the floor." Following his announcement, I climb on the stage and encounter almost five hundred faces, some of which are older than me, some of which are the same age, and some of which are younger than me. Most of their gazes are directed at me. I've gotten used to this sight. After receiving the sign, I, the teachers and the nearly five hundred students bow to each other.

I survey the audience.

Nearly five hundred people. This is hardly anything when comparing it to the numbers used by the mass media, but it's quite an overwhelming sight nevertheless. Is it really in my power to reach their hearts and project Reina-san into them? I don't want to admit it, but Yukimi Mitsui was right when she remarked that my charisma has dwindled. The weight of my words depends on whether or not Reina-san is present. Is it really in my power to show them the right path?

Don't falter! The more numerous the audience, the better. I don't need to convince all of them. I only need enough of them to create a place for Reina-san.

I open my dry mouth:

"Good morning, my dear schoolmates. My name is Sakura Kawai and today I would like to address Reina Kamisu's suicide."

Their gazes focus on me as I address the hottest topic at school. Everyone knows that I took on the position as president of the student council from Reina-san, and that I was her primary servant. They must be fairly curious about what I have to say about this subject.

"As you all know, Reina Kamisu was a special student. I am certain that I do not need to lose any words on how special she was. As such, many among you must still be confused by the sad news of her death. Many among you must still be mourning for her. I was one of them, too."

The students who noticed that I used past tense start to whisper to each other. Not a week has passed since Reina-san throw herself from the rooftop; in normal circumstances it would be impossible for me, her primary servant, to overcome the sadness of losing her.

"However—"

As expected, the majority of the students are all ears for my words. I deliberately choose to provoke them.

"—Let me be frank. Only a fool would be sad about her death."

My words create a general stir.

The students start to exchange glances and the teachers become alarmed. I don't mind if they stop me in the worst case, as long as I can communicate the important things. I only need to get their attention. Some of them will be curious enough to approach me of their own to hear the rest, and I will tell them. My thrilling ideas will soak through them and then automatically spread among the rest of the students.

My network is extensive enough to pull this off, even without Reina-san.

"Why is it foolish? Before I answer this question, let me read your mind."

I feel almost all of their five hundred gazes on me. Excellent.

"Certainly, you were all shocked by her suicide. You are bewildered and you are sad. But above all, do you not have a 'fuzzy feeling' in your chests? Do you not feel that something is wrong?"

As I stand on the stage, I discover a few students who nodded.

"I know what that 'fuzzy feeling' is. Let me get straight to the resolution: you have this feeling because you think that Reina Kamisu might still be alive."

My words create yet another stir.

"Please do not misunderstand me: I mean it quite literally, not in the clichéd sense of her living on in our hearts. Her metabolism is still intact. You may say this is absurd, but then answer me: Can you deny it with all honesty? Can you really say for sure that Reina Kamisu is dead?"

To be frank, I'm only spitting nonsense. A fuzzy feeling? Well, of course they have that feeling! After all, Reina Kamisu, the person who occupied a large part of their hearts, died (they think) from one day to the next without a reason! How could they not have ruffled feelings about it?

However, the ones who fell for it and bought my explanation for their fuzzy feeling will think that everything I said might be true.

Some of them might naturally see through my trick, but can they deny my words with certainty? Can they pass on the compelling thought that Reina Kamisu might still be alive, just to deny what I said? Can they thrust the ones who got their hopes up back into the abyss of despair, even if they were certain it's a lie?

Reina Kamisu is dead. Reina Kamisu is alive. If you had to choose one, you would choose the latter.

If both options are hard to believe, then you would choose the latter.

It's a shame that I have to trick them, but sadly, only few are able to see the truth like me. It's highly unlikely that anyone understands Reina-san like I do.

I proceed to the final blow.

"Dear colleagues, my ideas must sound absurd to you, and I am aware of that. I would laugh it off as ridiculous if I was one of you.

"But ... it is the truth.

"All of you who are laughing at my words will be laughing out of the other side of your faces next week. Why? It's simple."

Yes, I understand Reina-san.

I know the answer.

I only need to give them a glimpse of the answer.

"Because next week, on the first day of July, Reina Kamisu will come back."

My speech turned out less successful than anticipated. The majority view seemed to be that my claims were too implausible, and because this became the mainstream, the people who actually believed me could no longer openly say so.

I don't think it was wrong to hold a speech. Actually, I'm positive that it was the best choice I could make. However, it seems like the world has become too science-oriented to leave room for the thought that someone could resurrect from the dead. Damn ... aren't men the ones who are supposed to only make logic decisions? Our society makes it hard to spread correct ideas. Even psychics who clearly have some sort of power are called fakes these days.

But I don't care.

I haven't failed.

It's true that the majority are fools who are unable to question Reina-san's death, but they're only the majority.

People who believe me, who believe in Reina Kamisu, may be the minority, but they do exist.

"I also thought that Reina-san is still alive! I was relieved to hear that I wasn't the only one who thought so!"

"That 'fuzzy feeling' you mentioned was really preying on my mind. You took a huge weigh off my mind when you pointed it out to us and uncovered the truth behind it."

"Reina-san is still alive! There's no way she would die, is there?"

"I'm not entirely convinced ... but if you are so certain of it and even know when she's coming back, I want to try to believe you."

"I never believed that Reina-san was dead!"

People who said things like this appeared before me. 17 in number. Most of them were third-year students who inherently spent more time with Reina-san than the younger generation. 17 is not a large number compared to 500, but it's not so small, either, if you think of it as half a class.

Is Reina-san going to appear again even with such a small number? Though a little anxious, I decide to be optimistic.

I mean, Reina-san is much smarter than me. She must have foreseen that I would only be able to convince a small number of people even if I did my best. But most of all, the girls who believe in her "presence" are the ones who long for salvation so hard that they have no other choice but to believe in her "presence." Reina-san would never abandon them.

However, that doesn't mean that we can sit back and wait. Just thinking that Reina-san might still be alive is not going to bring about any progress.

What we need is unification. Unified prayer. We have to focus our prayers so strongly that they will reach Reina-san.

That is what has to be done to accomplish Reina-san's return.

In order to proceed to action, I told "the girls" who believe in Reina-san's "presence" to assemble at the Student Council Room after school. By the way, part of the student council, which also includes Anna, also believe in Reina-san's "presence."

It's unfortunate that I'm the only one who "knows" of Reina-san's "presence," but it's not a problem. I only have to guide "the girls" to this knowledge.

It's Thursday, the 29th of June. The first of July will be the day after tomorrow. Time is running out. I have to make sure that "the girls" will make a beeline for our goal without getting sidetracked by anything.

After we assembled at the Student Council Room, we had a long conversation. About Reina-san. About our devotion to Reina-san. About our selfless love for Reina-san. About our relation to Reina-san. About our need for Reina-san. About the importance of Reina-san. About how Reina-san feigned her death. About why Reina-san disappeared. About how Reina-san is going to affect us in the future. About how Reina-san's Reina-san is Reina-san and Reina-san can Reina-san with Reina-san to be Reina-san. Unfortunately, six of the initial seventeen members could not keep up and left our ranks, but the rest of us were able to talk about Reina-san without end. In this manner, we deepened our trust in Reina-san and synchronized with each other.

However, talking only about Reina-san does not suffice. If Reina-san were a diamond and you wanted to fascinate someone with it, you could preach about the diamond's beauty as long as you want and still achieve nothing. Fortunately, they are already fascinated by the diamond that is Reina-san, but still it doesn't suffice. "The diamond suits you!" "It makes you charming!" "You need it!" Similarly, by talking about why we need the diamond and why we have to be fascinated with it, we can strengthen our faith in Reina-san.

"Anna?"

I decide to start with Anna, the easiest target, because she's my classmate, my roommate, the secretary of the student council, and a cutter. Not only can I predict her answers, she is in dire need of Reina-san. She's also a perfect case for the others to listen to.

"Do you have those moments when you feel tired of living in this world?"

Her eyes widen as I pose an unexpected question. It's obvious how she will answer this.

While looking at the bandage on her wrist, she replies, "...All the time."

I nod as compassionately as possible. The other girls, who have been talking with each other, start to give us their attention.

"...Do you also feel like this sometimes, Sakura?"

"Sure," I answer.

"That's a little surprising."

"Do I not look like someone who would get tired of living?"

"Mhm. I mean, you're clever, flexible, and pretty. You ... are good at making your way, I guess? I thought that people like you don't think like that."

"Good at making my way ... huh? Perhaps you can say that. But what if that's exactly why I'm suffering?"

"...Huh?"

"I'm clever. I'm also popular enough to make it to the student council president, although I may have gotten backup from Reina-san. I'm know how to make my way. I'm a realist. Because of that, I was unable to believe in anything and also unable to depend on anything."

Talking about yourself first is a common trick to break the ice. It will unlock Anna's heart

"I understand that you don't have it easy, either," Anna says and adds hesitantly, "...But does it really make you suffer?"

"It does! When you're a realist, you lose the ability to have dreams, you know? For instance, let's assume I wanted to become a writer. In that case, I would realize that it's futile before even trying. There are thousands and thousands of aspiring writers, but only a small fraction of them make it, and only another fraction is able to get by.

"Because of my position in the student council, I often find myself surveying all of our students from the stage. Almost five hundred. That's an overwhelming number! If only one of those five hundred received the talent of succeeding as a writer, how many lots would I have to draw? Do I have that talent right now? Of course not. I never was the best in anything."

"...Mhm."

"When you're a realist, you look up, and when you look up, you see an endless sky. Why would I have the privilege to go all the way to the top? How could I soar up into the sky when I'm currently crawling on the ground? Do you understand, Anna? This is the pain of being realistic."

"...I think I understand."

"Tragic things like child abuse, divorce and accidents aren't the only things that make us suffer. I think that it's the things close to us that really torment us."

Everyone nods in agreement. I know that they all feel discontent with something in their lives.

How should we be optimistic in a world where nothing ever works out? How should we have dreams when we can't even make it into the University of Tokyo, which counts more than 3000 admissions every year? If we earnestly tried to accomplish our dreams, all we would get is scoff at believing in skills we don't have. That's why we give up. Realistic thinking bereaves us of our future and makes us give up. This is how the world throws us into the abyss.

"What about you, Anna? What is tormenting you?"

Anna remains silent. Not because she doesn't want to answer, but because she doesn't know how to word it.

"...I often wonder why I'm living," she eventually says with her glance cast down. "Because it doesn't matter whether I'm alive or not."

"That's not true, Anna! I'd be sad if I lost you."

"Mhm, thanks. But ... that's it."

"What do you mean...?"

"You'd be sad and that's it. Or would my death follow you for your entire life? Would you mourn for me for the rest of you life?"

"I—"

Of course, I would be sad if Anna died. I would probably cry. But ... I don't know how long that sadness would last.

"If I died a shocking death, it might subsist as a trauma. If I died young, you might remember it for that. But in that case, you wouldn't remember me but only my 'death,' right? I'd only live on as a bad memory, which means that my value is negative.

For example, if I went missing, I'm sure you would be worried about me in the beginning, but after only a month you would hardly talk about me anymore, and after a year you would have forgotten me. I think that I don't mean much to all of you."

"That's not true!"

I'm aware that I sound a bit phony.

Of course I care about Anna. She's a good girl—the type who gets along with everyone. On the other side, in many senses you will never find a person of this type in the center of a group. In short, she's one of many. Anna is never the center.

"But Anna, listen ... if, for the sake of the argument, we wouldn't mourn for you so long, what about your family?"

Anna suddenly contorts her face.

Aah—looks like I put my foot in it.

I immediately realized it. The moment I saw her self-ironic　face when I said the word "family", I realized what her answer is.

The answer to my question is "no" and more importantly...

This is the cause for Anna's view on life.

"My family?" Anna sneers with her eyes cast down. "Even though I only have a father who hasn't exchanged a word with me for over a year?"

I couldn't ask about her mother. Nothing good would come of it.

"...Oh, why would anyone care about or understand me when even my family doesn't?"

No one understands her.

I would like deny that, but again, I can't.

It's a fact that her father did not come when she cut her wrist. Of course, she cut her wrist to show me her wound, but at the bottom of it is her family, her father who neglected her.

No one understands you.

Exactly.

The same applies to me: nobody understands me. People are so good at feigning understanding that I sometimes almost buy into it, but in the end, nobody ever understood me. Everyone always dismissed my worries as the wailing of a pubescent, spoiled girl.

Even though they were so defining to me.

Nobody understands my values and beliefs, and I don't understand the values and beliefs of anybody.

Therefore I'm sure I can't understand Anna, either.

"Aah—why do I live...?"

Anna is serious.

To Anna, who is in the firm belief that even her family lacks understanding for her, living can't be enjoyable. She must be wishing to disappear like melting snow. Just like me.

Will this sentiment ever disappear? Will we find ourselves doing some generic office work in our future, and giving birth to cute babies while experiencing twinges of emptiness from time to time? Is that what we will become to survive?

Just thinking about it makes me sick.

This thought is so realistic. So filthy.

We may have been foolish, but we were pure.

"Anna."

"Hm?"

"This sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"This world sucks."

"It does."

"It's painful, right?"

"It's painful!"

"Do you want to be saved?"

"I want to be saved!"

"Do you want to see Reina-san?"

"I want to see Reina-san!"

Dear God, whether you exist or not.

We need salvation.

I demand of you to return Reina-san immediately.

"Reina-san is different from us," I say.

"Yes, she is different. She is incredibly pretty and perfect and I'm sure that there's a meaning to her life even if there's none to ours."

"Yes, I agree."

"...Yeah."

"Unlike us, she does not have any fixed definitions that predefine her life."

"Yeah."

"Then how do we want to define Reina-san?"

Anna and the others look up into space.

"Aah—"

—Their eyes start to twinkle.

"—I see now," Anna mutters. "Aah, I see ... I see!"

"You're right, Anna. Listen, everyone, you found the answer!"

There's no need to explain everything. There can't be a need to explain everything, otherwise it wouldn't be believable.

I only needed to lead their way to a sentiment they already have.

"Living is so painful to us, which is why ... Reina-san lives."

Reina-san is water.

She is sweet water that fulfills you the more desperate you are.

Reina-san bears a deep meaning just by existing.

A person like her—

"She can't be dead," someone says.

"Reina-san is alive," I assure with a nod. "And—she will appear on the first of July."

Ah, at last!

They all made it there.

===3===

Anna has become reliable.

She could even tell where Reina-san is going to appear, now that she arrived at the conclusion that Reina-san is alive.

"If she disappeared on the rooftop, wouldn't she also appear there again?"

I see. That stands to reason.

I can't believe that she was able to deduce this without my guidance.

The other girls who had made it to my level also become reliable and were able to discover the answer.

We head to the rooftop.

It's still eight in the morning. As we make our way to our destination, we receive the blessing of the sun that is shining brightly through the windows.

Such fine weather during the rainy season! This must be a sign from heaven.

While keeping an even pace we walk up the stairway. With cheerful smiles. With eerily beautiful and uniform smiles. For we acquired a goal that we can live for without any hesitation and distractions.

The sparkling door comes into view.

Beyond that door. Beyond that door, Reina-san is waiting.

I lay my hand on the shining door.

"Wait, Sakura."

Somebody calls my name from behind. Slightly disgruntled, I turn around and find Yuuko. She is one of the blinded fools who didn't believe me and think that Reina-san were dead.

"What's the matter, Yuuko?" I ask in a calm tone of voice because there's no point in getting angry at her.

"...That's my line! You're not allowed to go to the rooftop, and you should know that."

It's as she says. While I did go there once with Reina-san's brother, it has officially been forbidden since Reina-san's incident. However, because the students of this school are generally trusted, they didn't lock the door.

"Today is the first of July, right?"

"Well, yes," I answer Yuuko's obvious question.

"Girls ... do you really, really believe it? That Reina-san is alive?" she asks, looking hesitantly at each of the twelve of "us". "And that she's on the rooftop? That's what you think, right?"

"Yes!" I assert without hesitation.

"...As you may know, my family runs a hospital."

I nod.

"I often went there when I was a child," she explains. "My father gave me free entrance because he thought I could learn something. I often made friends with elderly people.

"And I often had to see them dying."

"...What's your point?" I ask.

"You know my point. What I want to say is something that every child knows: the dead do not come back to life again. That shouldn't be news to you girls."

"Reina-san isn't dead."

"You just don't want to admit it!"

"Reina-san isn't dead," I reply calmly.

Oh dear ... Yuuko knows nothing. Unsurprisingly so.

Yuuko seems a bit daunted because I didn't show any signs of becoming angry, but she continues nevertheless:

"...You'll only be disappointed if you go past this door, Sakura! What you will find isn't a bright future, but the bitter truth that Reina-san is dead."

"That's not possible."

"Even if you were to find her ... then it's nothing but an illusion!"

"If you're so certain, then why don't you come with us, Yuuko?"

"Huh?" she utters with an open mouth in response to my apparently unexpected proposal.

She must be thinking that only "we" are allowed to be there.

"You don't mind, do you?" I ask my companions and they nod peacefully. "So? Coming with us?"

"...Fine," she sighs after some hesitation.

You shouldn't be sighing, Yuuko ... you'll lose some of your happiness!

I lay hand on the door again and—open it.

Light.

"—Aah!"

The world opens itself to us.

And then—

And then—

—I was taken in.

Just like then, just like our first encounter, I took in her, who is water, or maybe she took me in.

I listen carefully.

Instead of Chopin's Heroic Polonaise, her transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental voice reaches my ears.

"I am delighted to see you all again."

Amidst the light she spoke to us.

Amidst the light Reina Kamisu spoke to us.

As I beheld her beautiful countenance, I started to cry and shiver with excitement.

"Reina-san," I say. The others follow suit and mutter her name as well, also crying and shivering with delight.

Aah, they can see her just like I do. Wonderful. Nothing stands in our way to happiness now!

Poor Yuuko seems to be thunderstruck by the sight of who we are looking at.

"Forgive me for keeping you waiting," the beautiful girl apologizes with an apologetic smile.

"It's OK! We believed in your return."

"Thank you."

Reina-san responds to my words. Aah! That alone makes me so happy!

"Reina-san...! So you feigned your death to save us, right?"

"Yes, exactly."

"If you don't mind, could you explain to us why there was a need to do that?"

"I am afraid that it might be a little complicated. Do you mind?"

"Of course not."

"As you can surely feel, Kawai-san, this world is rotten."

"Ah, so it's as I thought."

"It is impossible to become happy in this world. Suffering is the only option. If you deceive yourself and turn a blind eye to various things, however, it is possible to obtain an illusion of happiness. But since it is only an illusion, it means that you are not really happy by definition."

"This sounds so rotten."

"Yes. Hence, there is no happiness or salvation as long as you do not disengage from this world. This is why I decided to temporarily leave this world and search for a better one."

Does that mean that she counts as dead in this world? ...No, the idea of death is of no importance. As a matter of fact, Reina-san is standing before my eyes. That's all there is to it. There's no need for me to investigate further.

"And—I discovered our paradise. Therefore, I have appeared here again."

All that's left is to give myself entirely to Reina-san.

"It is a place free of suffering, where everything is gentle, where everything is enjoyable, and where everything is beautiful."

I listen closely to her, completely in raptures. The same seems to apply to the others.

We are going to be saved.

I'm so happy that I believed in Reina-san.

I'm so—happy.

"I am afraid to say that I am not able to remain in this world. In fact, it is questionable if you can even say that I am here right now. I may have only just arrived, but I will therefore disappear once more from here temporarily."

Please don't. I don't want to be separated.

"Are you not going to take us there right now?"

Reina-san shakes her head.

"I cannot take you there anytime. It is difficult to explain, but ... please picture to yourselves hundreds upon hundreds of holes. Once our minds leave our bodies, they are judged based on various conditions and then thrown into one of these holes. Some of them lead to worlds that are even worse than here.

"To some extent, I can control which hole you will be thrown into. However, depending on the 'time', which is one of the various conditions, it might not go well."

"I understand."

Reina-san nods sadly. "I will appear here again tomorrow at six o'clock in the evening. I am sorry ... time has run out. I shall see you tomorrow."

With these words, Reina-san disappears.

She did not walk away, she literally vanished.

I look around. My companions, too, still seem bemused and are gazing at the place where Reina-san was standing. Some of them are also talking to themselves as though in trance.

One among them is showing a different reaction, though. I approach her.

"What do you say now, Yuuko? Reina-san's alive, isn't she?"

Yuuko turns her head to me like a rusty robot. On her face I recognize exceeding bewilderment.

In all that bewilderment, she slowly opens her mouth and asks:

"What kind of joke is this?"

—I don't understand.

Why would she say that after such a miracle?

"Why are you all gazing into space and crying?"

Yuuko is looking at the place where Reina-san was standing.

No, that's not quite accurate.

She is simply looking at the place where our gazes meet, with fear in her eyes.

"Sakura! Come to your senses! For crying out loud—"

"—Weren't you the first person to find her body?!"

Was I, now?

Aah, yes, I was.

I completely forgot about that because it doesn't matter.

Because of that, I also told her brother that I hadn't seen how Reina-san fell.

I mean, what of it?

Is that supposed to prove Reina-san's death, or something?

===4===

I was smiling from ear to ear and almost started skipping along.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu."

Aah, she wasn't annoyed at me after all! Reina-san needs me!

Suddenly, I heard a scream.

I raised my head to look what was going on.

An instant passed.

In this instant...

A tragedy took place in front of me.

It—

It fell not with the elegance of cherry blossoms, but just like a heavy lump, following the laws of physics, and with a thump.

A warm liquid squirted around and stuck to my skin.

———

Time stopped.

No way.

This is a lie.

As a matter of act, my flow of time was in complete disarray, going faster and slower at random, and it felt much more unrealistic than a dream even ... at any rate, it was a lie.

After all, Reina-san had just told me to take care of her, which clearly was in conflict with the thing that just happened, and, aah, at any rate, this was a lie. What's the deal with ... this? Why did this, huh? I don't get it. At any rate, it was a lie, a lie, and a lie, so I silently laughed aloud.

The hideously deformed something that resembled Reina-san and yet was completely different stared at me.

It stared at me without doubt.

It stared at me with bloodshot eyes.

And it moved its lips and jerked its bloody red tongue.

"—D-O N-O-T F-O-R-G-E-T M-E."

Since there was no sound, I could not hear anything, but it certainly tried to form these words.

Something was clearly out of order. Something was a lie.

This something before me was clearly not Reina-san. After all, it was obviously filthier than anything I'd ever seen. Filthy = Reality? Reality? So it had nothing to do with Reina-san. This something could impossibly be Reina-san. Impossible.

Aah, where are you, Reina-san?

Where have you gone? Did you die? Did you disappear because this something stole your soul?

I don't understand.

I don't understand. However.

If I don't find the answer, Reina-san will disappear.

===5===

Neither Yuuko, nor Emi, nor the other people tried to stop us. We made it to the second of July without any trouble.

The only unexpected thing was that one of our companions stubborny claimed, "Reina-san did not say anything about assembling tomorrow at six o'clock!" It was unexpected, but I concluded that she didn't make it to our level and gave up on her.

We go again to the rooftop. Unlike yesterday, a gentle rain is falling, which is a shame but still better than seeing the moon, because the moon always follows us around.

Suddenly, I notice that somebody is sitting in front of the door to the rooftop. Did Yuuko not learn her lesson...? No, it's not her. It's not one of girls who fell through, either. Upon seeing me, the girl stands up.

"You're going to meet Reina-san, right?"

I recognize her voice.

"Oh, you're here as well?" she continues. "Didn't she turn you down?"

I see how Anna stiffens.

"What do you want, Mitsui-senpai?"

Yukimi Mitsui.

One of the servants who arrived at the knowledge of Reina-san's "presence."

"Do you want to join us? I'm sorry, but I haven't forgiven you even though you may be a servant of Reina-san's. I can't let you come with us."

"Join you just to meet Reina-san? Ha!" Yukimi Mitsui sneers. "I don't need your help for that."

"...What was that?"

"I'll be damned if I resort to your means," she laughs and steps aside. She continues in whispers, "I'm here to warn you."

"We don't need your warning."

"Don't misunderstand, okay? I don't care what happens to you, but if this is the last time we meet, I want to get it off my chest at least," she says and flashes a grin. "My worship of Reina-san and yours are as different as snow and ashes."

"...Well, I don't want to be thought hand in glove with you, either!"

"Huhu, is that so? Well, why don't you go ahead and meet your Reina-san? Bye then. We probably won't meet again."

"Goodbye," I say without even turning around to Yukimi Mitsui, who is waving her hand. After stroking Anna's hair gently, I walk up the stairs again, and—

—open the door.

A gentle rain is falling.

Reina-san is already waiting for us in the center of the rooftop.

Reina-san is waiting, smiling and without getting wet..

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Reina-san."

"Why, no, it was me who kept you waiting, Sakura."

I nod with a lopsided smile.

As the rain soaks our hair and clothes, we are reminded of our physical body through the unpleasant feeling. Sadly, this acid rain is filthy and thus can't wash us clean.

We need purification.

"We don't have much time, right? Please tell us how we can go to your world, Reina-san."

She nods. "It is simple. You just have to employ the same procedure as me."

The same procedure...

I recall the chalk line I examined together with Reina-san's brother.

"Do we have to jump...?"

Reina-san nods again.

"I know that it requires courage. I would like to use a different method as well, but there is none."

I look at the others.

They look at me.

They may not say so verbally, but their eyes are clearly telling me to take the lead. We are all afraid. Of course, we trust Reina-san, but we all know that the panic of falling and the pain of hitting the ground are things that cannot be avoided.

Indeed, I have to take the lead. I have to jump first and show them their way. Just like I have been doing so far.

However—

"I'm sorry, but I can't jump first."

Surprise and discontent appear on their faces.

"There is something I want to confirm at the end."

"Can you not do that now?" Anna asks and I nod in response.

She surveys me, then the bandage around her left wrist, and eventually smiles.

"Okay—I will jump first, then."

Surprised but impressed, we applaud to her.

"Anna ... thank you so much."

"No, you don't need to thank me ... It's an honor to be the first to go to Reina-san!"

I'm so proud of Anna. The source of her present strength may be weakness, but it's still strength.

Anna climbs on the fence in a somewhat clumsy manner and stands on top of it. She almost slips because the rain is getting stronger and thus making the fence slippery. Careful, Anna! Don't fall! Hm? Ah, stupid me. You will fall either way.

Anna stands upright atop the slippery fence and speaks straight ahead:

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

I can't see Anna's face because she's looking forward.

"I will never forget what you said to me yesterday. I was really happy when you said that you would always need me even if nobody else did."

Reina-san nods.

"My scar will disappear once I reach the other world, right?"

"Yes."

"...I'm so happy."

I'm moved.

Reina-san did a great job.

"I will always need you even if no one else does."

This is the very thing Anna wanted to hear the most.

It would sound false from anyone else's mouth, but if Reina-san says it, it's the truth.

But then—

—I don't think I remember Reina-san saying that?

"Sakura," Anna suddenly calls me, interrupting my thought process.

Anna is still looking forward, beyond the rain, so I still don't know what her face looks like.

"Yes, Anna?"

"—Thank you."

Her voice falls downward.

And is cut short.

Anna vanished and spoke simultaneously.

"Thank ... you...?"

Why?

Why would she thank me?

It's Reina-san who saved Anna, and it's Reina-san who will guide her to a better world. You probably can't even say that I bridged the gap between her and Reina-san.

Thank you ... words of gratitude.

But this makes it seem—as though I was the one who brought about this ceremony.

As I'm overcome with this strange confusion, my companions continue to jump one after the other. And before they jump and scatter, they all cite words that I don't remember hearing from Reina-san and give their thanks to me like Anna did.

Watching them makes me feel as though I were looking at artificial flowers that have withered.

Eventually, I end up alone with Reina-san.

The rain has gotten even fiercer. I might catch a cold, I think for a brief moment and sneer at myself.

I'm the last one.

"Kawai-san," the undrenched girl says. "What is it that you wanted to confirm?"

"Yes, there is something I wanted to ask you no matter what."

"Why did it have to be now, 'at the very end'?"

I look at the floor. A water drop drips down from my hair and enters my eye, making me feel filthy from the inside.

The reason why it had to be "at the very end."

It's—because I couldn't let the others hear it.

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

"It's so hard to explain and I don't know how to put this, but please bear with me."

"Who are you?"

Reina-san remains calm. She is still smiling.

"You're Reina Kamisu, of course, and that's the only way to call you. You are no doubt Reina Kamisu.

"But—you are not the Reina-san who played the piano, are you? You are someone else."

"...Why do you think so?"

"I was always fascinated by Reina-san, but she always made a somewhat strange impression on me. I don't know what it was, but I do not get that impression from you."

Reina-san silently listens to me.

"It's an ambiguous feeling. Perhaps, my memory is playing tricks on me because I haven't met you in a long time, but ... I doubt it."

"Why do you doubt it?"

"Because it's the former Reina-san who gave me that strange impression. If it was the other way around, it would make sense ... but ... as a matter of fact ... you feel way more genuine to me than the previous Reina-san. Isn't it strange that you feel more genuine now than before?"

The rain is getting stronger and I'm starting to get worried if my voice even reaches her.

"If," Reina-san starts. "If I am a different being than before, what will you do?"

"It doesn't matter," I respond without missing a beat. "You are Reina Kamisu. Nothing else."

"Yes," she nods. "I am Reina Kamisu, and nothing else," she says with her beautiful smile. "If you say so, may I tell you the truth?"

"Yes. My decision won't change."

I walk up to the fence and lean against it with my back. I don't even want to think about the sight down there.

"I am a phenomenon that becomes visible to those who believe in my existence."

"...A phenomenon?"

"To you and your friends, I am Reina Kamisu, because that is what you named me. If am given a different name, I adapt accordingly. For example, some call me 'god' and some call me an 'angel'. By being given a name, I take shape and become visible."

"...Do you lead the people who can 'see' you to another world?"

"This is the role you gave me."

"But I wasn't the only one who believed so," I argue.

"That is because you took the lead over them and defined my role for everyone. All I ever do is fulfill my purpose."

I defined her role?

It's true that I guided them to believe in Reina-san's "presence," but that's all I did. Reina-san is the one who is to do the rest and save us.

Right, I'm not to blame.

Not to blame?

What? What am I talking about? Blame? What blame? I only did the right thing and struggled to break free from this filth and didn't believe in Reina-san's death and, aah, yes, that filthy corpse wasn't Reina-san's. It wasn't hers, so I realized the truth and now I'm facing Reina-san in person and, aah, I was right from start to finish. Impressive! I didn't do too bad, did I?

"I ... I don't care anymore."

I climb on the fence.

Like Anna and the others, I stand upright and gaze straight ahead.

"You are Reina Kamisu."

"Yes, I am."

"You will save us from the filthy."

"Yes, I will."

"Please fulfill your role."

"Yes, I will fulfill my role."

There's no hesitation.

The others jumped down, too. I can't hesitate. It's too late. Wait, too late? For what? I do not need to hesitate anymore. The answer is clear, I only need to carry it out.

One question—

One question suddenly crosses my mind.

I was Reina-san's servant.

But why did I decide to obey her without a single doubt? What was so special about Reina-san?

Of course, she was beautiful. Of course, she felt different.

But ... that's no reason to obey her.

It makes me think.

Everyone admired Reina-san, everyone was captivated by her, so much that she belonged in the same category as "god" and "angels."

But where did that deification come from?

I mean—

—We don't know anything about Reina-san.

I stop thinking.

I won't turn around to her anymore.

I'll just look at her the same way as I always did.

I'll just project my idea of perfection on her and look upon her in a perfect light.

I step forward.

And as I do, I devote my last thoughts to her:

I ... we may have suffered a lot, but—

—she must have suffered just as much.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui

2016-01-03T11:16:25Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui==

===1===

Voices are like invisible razor blades to me.

We are all alone from birth to death, and even though we can't really understand each other we are still forced to associate all along the way. There are only two ways out: biological death or social death.

The world is brimming with people observing me, no matter where I escape.

And again, another day starts where I am forced to blend into a group.

I am suffocating, crammed into a tiny, narrow box, our classroom, together with various people who keep attacking me.

We're on a small break right now. Girls are noisy beings, and as such, even the high level of this school doesn't stop them from nattering away with their shrill voices. Female voices are—perhaps because they're higher than male voices—very sharp. Sharp like razorblades.

Laughter. Certainly not directed at me. But it sounds to me like they're sneering at me.

"Your face is a mess today, isn't it?", "Stop spreading bad mood," "Aren't her legs quite fat?", "She completely messed up that question there, didn't she? And she sucks at English, anyway," "Isn't something smelling funny here?" "I bet she's a slut," "Disgusting," "Gross," "Sickening."

They're not saying these things against me. They're not saying them against me. I'm not as odd as to be called such things.

But my imagination won't stop taking their voices as attacks against me.

Stop it! Don't talk in front of me!

"Stop being so noisy!"

A shout reverberates, shrouding the classroom in silence... with my voice.

Astonishment and some discontent for being yelled at without a reason shows on their faces. But as expected from Junseiwa students, not a single one of them shows any anger. Instead, they resume their conversations with quieter voices than before.

But it's not like they don't care. Deep inside, they must hate me; they must feel the urge to attack me.

And like this, I continue to get myself into a jam. In order not to get hurt, I isolate myself from others and keep everyone away. But by doing so, I also lose the chance to find someone who understands me and supports me, and I stay in the dark about what they think of me. As a result, anxiety keeps growing.

"She pisses me off!" someone groans and others laugh in response.

My body tenses up.

No, that wasn't directed at me. Please, be concise! It sounds to me like you said "That Mitsui bitch pisses me off." That's what it gets converted to in my head.

I cover my ears in a manner that doesn't get noticed, even though no one is looking at me. Why am I so sensitive? Why isn't everyone just gentle to me? I wish someone would appear who understands how delicate I am, but such a person does not exist. Instead, I am thought to be a rude and strong girl and keep being injured—be it wittingly or unwittingly—because they don't bother looking closer at me.

That's why I gaze at Reina Kamisu.

Today, she is talking with the members of Hashigami-san's group. Reina Kamisu, an exceptional girl, has pulled off the feat of not belonging to a group and still getting along with everyone. ...No, she's much more than just exceptional.

I know—no, everyone knows—that she would never hurt anyone. In other words, she wouldn't hurt me either.

Reina Kamisu is a girl who seems to made purely of ideals.

She, our image of "perfection," does not belong to anyone's group. She isn't biased. Reina Kamisu is always neutral toward anyone. Therefore, she wouldn't hurt anyone.

Reina Kamisu would not pull me up if I held out my hand; but she wouldn't shake off my hand either.

That's why I can gaze at her at ease.

Noticing my glance, she suddenly returns my look. I would have quickly averted my eyes had it been someone else, but if it's her, I don't have to fear anything and can keep up eye contact for a while.

Kamisu-san beautifully smiles at me.

Ah, she's so beautiful.

That was enough to make me feel vindicated.

All of a sudden—something stone-like forcibly enters my head.

It's a stone. If I shake my head, it rolls around inside and damages my brains. Quick, I have to get rid of it. Of what? Of the cause that made this happen.

The cause is—

...Huh? Why? Isn't she the only one who will never stand against me...? Yes, that's exactly what distinguishes her from everyone else.

She may be different, but I don't care. The problem is that something about her is being detected by me as a stone, as "harm".

Why—?

I look at her again.

She is still smiling beautifully at me.

===2===

"Who do you think you are?"

A few days after I started feeling something bizarre about Reina Kamisu, I was suddenly approached on the corridor during lunch break. The girl who approached me didn't show the least of restraint and just blocked my way, seething with irritation.

An attacker. There's no doubting it.

However, the attacker isn't one of my classmates, who must have accumulated frustration against me, but a freshman named Sakura Kawai.

"Hah? Careful what you say now!"

If it's a real attack and not just my delusions, I can counter to my heart's content and ensure that the attacker will stop in the future.

I can fight. Even though I might get hurt in the process.

Sakura Kawai, however, doesn't wince. "I know about the dirty look you're giving Reina-san!"

"Filthy look? What are you talking about?"

"I think I expressed myself clearly enough! I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

"Jealous?"

She's right in that I often look at Kamisu-san. I have been watching her even more these days because I wanted to find out the cause for what's bothering me about her, in addition to my urge to be vindicated, but she couldn't be farther off by calling this jealousy.

"Know your place, okay? Even if you're the student council president, you're still younger than me. Don't you think you're a bit insolent?" I argue.

"I don't wish to be rude toward an upperclassman, either, but there are things that I just can't let pass."

"Things you can't let pass? And that would be me, or what?"

"Yes! Just think about it. Reina-san is a wonderful person. I have so much respect for her, she's my inspiration".

Ah, so Sakura Kawai is one of them. It's obvious looking how she follows Kamisu-san around everywhere: Sakura Kawai is a firm "believer" of Reina Kamisu.

The number of Reina Kamisu's "believers" at this school is everything but small. No, you could say they're the majority.

It might be a nasty comparison, but if one were to compare Reina Kamisu's charisma with poisonous gas, the gas would be so strong that breathing in 0.1mg would be enough to kill a person with a likelihood of 99.999%. If released in a town, the whole town would die out. In addition, the virulence would be extremely high as well; just touching an infected person would get you killed.

I'm exaggerating? Perhaps. But anyone close to her would unanimously nod at this comparison.

Anyway. Being locked into this closed environment, Reina Kamisu is fulfilling and corroding the school without leaving out a gap.

What's the obvious consequence?

Reina Kamisu attains an absolute status within this small community. As a matter of fact, she is the law and driving force at the Junseiwa School.

"I... no, we won't let you get through with this! Scowling on Reina-san... Aah, I'm disgusted just by thinking of it! Anyway, we won't let you look down at Reina-san! No one can deny her. What makes you think that someone as petty as you could?"

"...What did you just say?! Besides, you're completely wrong. I'm not looking down at her at all."

"I'm not deceived that easily!"

"But you're really wrong!"

"Cut out those lies!"

It's no use. This girl won't listen no matter what I say. She is already firmly convinced that I'm looking down on Kamisu-san.

But that's not true; I have great respect for her as well. After all, I'm just another member of this small, closed community.

Therefore, I'm not looking at Kamisu-san with scorn.

—Unless the odd thing I'm feeling about her is of a negative nature.

"...Look, it seems like you know what I'm talking about," Sakura Kawai reproaches me with conviction, apparently having noticed the slight doubts that showed on my face.

"...It's a misunderstanding!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Just apologize and swear to keep your eyes away from her!"

My patience is wearing thin. Who does she thin she is? She means nothing to Kamisu-san; it's not like she's her family or even just a friend of hers.

"Hmph! Even if I did scorn her, what of it? I wouldn't be bothering anyone with it, would I?"

"What did you just say...?"

"If someone is bothering Kamisu-san, then it's certainly not me, but you guys who stick to her like fish shit!"

"W-What?!"

Sakura Kawai's face turns red like a tomato.

—Oh no.

She isn't the type of attacker who gets afraid and stops attacking. I knew that and should have retreated at the right time, but I accidentally continued to hold against her.

And right now, I rubbed her the exact wrong way.

It's too late. She's going to keep attacking me, keep hurting me.

And on top of that—

I got too worked up and forgot who she is.

"...I went too far," I say apologetically, but my words don't reach her. She isn't open to apologizes anymore.

"...you scoffed at us."

Plural.

Right, this attacker is—the student council president.

"I will not forgive you for this..."

Her wailing before was a thousand times better than this. Now there is a deep, hateful tone in her voice that gives her hatred a firm shape.

Ah, it's over.

Up until now, I've simply been reacting over-sensitively to ambiguous remarks, interpreting them as attacks against me. Of course, some of those remarks must have been really directed at me, since I'm the type of person who makes herself a lot of enemies. However, in the majority of cases, it was just my overreacting that got me hurt.

But this is going to change now. I'm going to be under fire from all sides for real.

"She's making me angry," "What an insolent bitch," "Get out of here," "Piss off," "Go die in a fire," "Go west," "Die."

I'm going to really get such insults; after all, this attacker right before my eyes is the student council president. She's the second most powerful person here. If Sakura Kawai openly announces that she won't forgive me, then the number of attackers will grow. She does have the authority and the social network to do just that.

To make matters worse, Reina Kamisu's "believers" have uniform beliefs. If one of the central authorities like Sakura Kawai says that she won't forgive me, then the other "believers" are bound to share her will.

Inside this closed environment, it is an absolute taboo to get on the wrong side of Sakura Kawai.

Reina Kamisu treats everyone equally, but her followers can't emulate her deeds. Jesus Christ said that if someone slapped you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also, and yet the believers kept waging war. That's how it works. Sakura Kawai has the power that it takes to unite everyone against me under the pretext of protecting Reina Kamisu.

She is aware of that, too, and that's why she was able to act so bold against an upperclassman like me.

"...I'm sorry."

However, as expected, my apology only adds fuel to the flames.

"...Prepare yourself! I will teach you that there is no place for you in this school anymore," Sakura Kawai proclaimed.

That's not a threat. It's a decided fact.

In a few days from now—I will have no place anymore.

Once I got home, I shut myself into my room, plunked into my semi-double bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

"Aah..."

It's over... I can't take this anymore...

This place was a painful, exit-less box to begin with, but now I'm going to be lynched by everyone on top of it; even though all I want is not to be attacked, not to be hurt.

That's just horrible: If striking back in order to protect myself angered the other party so much that she now unites everyone against me, then what should I have done instead?

I don't know the answer, but I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this; that someday, someone would hate me for good and initiate an organized attack against me. At the very least, I had deemed it more probably than North Korea making an onslaught on Japan.

...I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this?

But that means that I didn't have a chance to begin with.

Fuck! Fuck! Are you kidding me?! Why does nobody treat me gently?! Why does nobody understand me?!

No, that's wrong... It's all my fault... I know, I know!

As I continue this pointless and endless train of thought, I clutch at my pillow so hard that it almost bursts.

Goddammit!

Knock, knock, goes my door all of a sudden. It must be my sister judging from the sound pattern.

"What?" I ask bluntly toward the door.

The door opens and my little sister, Yoshino, enters the room. "Um..." she mutters reluctantly as I scowl at her, still lying on my bed.

"Get the fuck out of here if you've got no business!" I shout, turning my frustration at my weak sister who is 3 years younger than me. As always.

"I-I am sorry..." she apologizes despite not being at fault.

A thought suddenly crosses my mind as I gaze at my downhearted sister: she will certainly lose all her self-confidence because of me and become a dejected person.

I'm sorry for that. But I'm not in an easy situation either, so it can't be helped, can it?

"So, what is it?" I ask again.

"Um, someone has come over to see you..."

"Someone...?"

Sakura Kawai crosses my mind.

Was she not satisfied with attacking me just at school? That's absurd... but I haven't made myself any friends that would go out of their way to come over here. So... it's well possible that Sakura Kawai is already done preparing her attack on me and has come here.

No... Please not! Don't torment me any more than this!

"...Onee-chan... quick..."

"I know! Just shut up!" Yoshino winces again at my sharp voice.

Yes, that's right! It's Yoshino's fault. I've only gotten myself into this situation because her lack of resistance gradually made more offensive!

While casting the blame on others in my head, I push Yoshino aside with my right hand and walk to the entrance.

What am I going to do? How am I going to handle this situation? I can no longer defend myself by attacking, that's for sure, but I don't know any other way. I'm not deft enough to ward off an attack. I'm the type of person who deliberately gets hit by a bullet in fear of the gunshot that would follow; that's why I have to take care of the attacker before she can fire a bullet no matter what!

Full with despair, I open the door and look the the visitor.

Time stopped.

"—Huh?"

I unwittingly react with the clichéd act of rubbing my eyes in disbelief and look once more at her.

"Hello," she says. With an absurdly beautiful smile.

"—Kamisu-san?"

"Please excuse my sudden visit, Mitsui-san. I take it that I must have surprised you?"

"I don't mind... but what brings you here?"

I try guessing her reason to visit me... but I fail to come up with anything plausible.

Kamisu-san treats everybody equally.

Of course, in her eyes I'm just another equal person. Therefore, there is no reason why should would come visit me.

However, as a matter of fact, she stands right before me, smiling.

"Would you be so kind as to let me in? While I do not mind talking right here, I am sure that you had rather take a seat and not have your family hear our conversation."

"Y-Yes..." I say, left with no other choice but to approve. While her way of speaking is incredibly polite, she doesn't seem to tolerate any dissent.

"..."

What is there to get so flustered about? Cool down: a classmate has come over to my place, that's all.

However—

Everyone who knows Reina Kamisu—or has just caught a glimpse of her at some point—will inevitably think the following: there must be a reason of utmost importance for her visiting me. A reason deeper than the reason of life itself.

I lead Kamisu-san to my room. Her every movement seems so harmonized that looking at her from this short distance disrupts the rhythm of my own heartbeat, making it pound randomly. As I wonder how many millions of yen one would make by selling her beautiful black hair to a jeweler, I let her into my room.

"What a lovely room," she praises me with a sincere smile, gently satisfying the pride I have in my room layout. She managed to stir me just by praising me.

I ask her to take a seat on my precious red sofa. She accepts my offer politely and sits down in a manner just as beautiful. For a while, we talk about my room, until Yoshino comes in and brings us some black tea in stead of my absent parents. Confronted with Kamisu-san's beautiful face, however, Yoshino gets startled and blushes as Kamisu-san gives her a smile.

After waiting for Yoshino to leave and taking a sip of the black tea, Kamisu-san says with a smile:

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

While attempting to calm down my racing heart, I look closely at Kamisu-san but fail to read anything off her mild expression.

"I know about the filthy look you're giving Reina-san!"

I start to ponder. If Sakura Kawai's complaint is the general consensus and not just a result of her deluded mind, then it would be highly probable that Kamisu-san feels offended by my gaze as well.

What if the will to harm me lies hidden beneath her perfectly adorned smile? No, that's not a "what if".

Kamisu-san came over to my place. Why? Simple.

To attack me.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," she says, probably to a certain degree guessing my internal train of thought.

She might be lying, I apprehend but the fact that it's "Reina Kamisu" who is saying it makes me calm down anyway.

"I am just curious to know what causes you to watch me like that."

"Did you come all the way here just to ask this...?"

"Among other things, yes," she nods.

"Why didn't you approach me at school...?"

In response to my question, she puts on a wry smile and replies, "You know Sakura-san, do you not? Certainly she would not be eager to see a conversation conducted between the two of us."

I see, she's right. Sakura Kawai is always hovering over her; it makes sense that she would have gotten wind of our conflict today.

"I do see where you are coming from, Kamisu-san... but I'm fairly sure that I'm not the only one watching you. What makes my case so special to you?"

"Yes, there are a lot of people who are watching me, but while those gazes might strike others as 'strange,' they are actually fairly common for me. For instance, I am very used to being approached like I was by your sister before."

I think I see her point. The looks Sakura Kawai gives her might be abnormal seen from others, but as someone exposed to them on a daily basis, they become ordinary and lose their abnormity.

"So... in other words, you are saying that the way I'm looking at you is odd even on top of that?"

"Yes, I suppose you can put it that way."

"OK, let me be blunt: are you troubled if I watch you?"

With an unchangingly mild expression, Kamisu-san shakes her head. "As I said, that is not my intent. In fact, the reason why I am here is probably the exact opposite of what you think it is."

"...The reason I think?"

"I do not intend to 'attack' you."

"Eh...?"

—Did she just say 'attack'?

Sure, I always and everywhere feel attacked, but most of that is just me picking up random sentences and interpreting them as attacks. No one other than me can possibly know about it

And yet—Kamisu-san clearly and readily said 'attack'.

"I know that Sakura-san is about to proceed against you. Therefore, I feared that you might fall into the mistaken belief that everyone is now set against you."

Ah, I see... Silly me, I just got ahead of myself. It's not at all surprising that she would use the term 'attack'; the 'attacks' I used to imagine to myself are becoming real starting today, after all.

In other words, my gut feeling that Kamisu-san has known all along that I'm hurt is nothing but an misconception.

...just a misconception.

"I am sure that it would be very sad and tough to consider yourself threatened by everyone. If, by any chance, there are other people joining Sakura-san in attacking you, then it will merely be a temporary trend. Neither will those attacks continue forever, nor should you care about them. I have come here to tell you this."

"...But knowing that doesn't make it any less painful when everyone denies me."

"All right, I promise."

"What do you mean...?"

"I promise to stay on your side."

Huh—?

I find myself awfully confused; after all, it's Reina Kamisu. The person who treats everyone as equals. What would prompt her to become my ally of all people...?

"Although I am sure that is no comfort to you..."

"But yes! Of course I couldn't be happier—"

—but why me? I think but I am unable to add this question.

"That is a relief. Ah... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

"Your question...?"

"I was wondering why you are watching me."

"T-There's not—" I stutter as I give it some thought myself.

That feeling I've been having toward Kamisu-san is not admiration for her beauty or wits, or anything else positive. If the looks I've been giving her bore a positive connotation, then Kamisu-san wouldn't take special heed of them and call them "odd", since she's used to positive glances.

Therefore, I suppose there is ill will in my glance, and that's also why Sakura Kawai took action against me.

"—There's not much to it... at least I can't put my finger on it."

As a consequence, I couldn't give her an honest answer even if I were able to put that feeling into words.

"You do not not know, either... I understand," she says, and then she smiles. As though that question never happened. "All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

We stand up and go to the entrance. Even something as mundane as putting on one's shoes turns into a captivating ceremony if done by Kamisu-san.

And even after talking so much, that strange feeling I've been having toward her hasn't disappeared.

No, if anything—

"Well then, goodbye Mitsui-san."

"Yeah, see your tomorrow at school."

After waving at me once, Kamisu-san disappears on the other side of the door.

"..."

On the other side. Yes, she and I, we stand on opposite shores and live in different worlds.

There's one thing that keeps me thinking: if there really is ill will in my glances, and if even Sakura Kawai noticed that ill will, then is it at all possible that someone as intelligent as Reina Kamisu would not notice, despite being directly concerned?

But then, why would she so clearly suggest to remain on my side whatever happens? How can she promise to support me, not to do any harm to me, when she noticed that I'm an attacker to her?

At the very least, I couldn't do that in her position. No... we couldn't do that.

"Hey, Yoshino?" I ask my sister who has been sneaking peeks at Kamisu-san.

"W-What is it, Onee-chan?" she says, wincing in fear of being reproached for her watching us.

"I'm not angry. I just wanted to hear your opinion on the girl that just was here."

"Ah, okay..."

"Yoshino. What impression did she make on you?"

Unsure what kind of answer I'm expecting of her, she only groans, "Um..."

"Don't worry; just tell me your first impression."

"O-Okay... I thought that she is pretty."

"...Well, fair enough."

It's a perfectly valid opinion—and probably the only thing she can say because she's afraid of offending anyone.

However, against my expectations, Yoshino wasn't done yet.

"So pretty that I can't believe she's human."

And thanks to that remark—I finally recognized why I felt like chewing on aluminum when seeing Reina Kamisu.

===3===

Sakura Kawai acted faster than expected—two days after our confrontation, there were only enemies around me.

Thrown into the slicing and piercing machinery that is our classroom during lunch break, only wearing standard clothes instead of an armor or a shield, I keep showering blows from all sides.

People are strong in groups. Naturally.

In reality, there are very few people who can defend themselves like heroes who swipe away hostile troops on the TV.  If the attacks are not of physical but of mental nature, however, then there is nothing you can do about it. You have to swallow the collective attacks.

Exclusion, blatant slander, mockery, dirty looks... much more than it is sly bullying, you might say that there is a law here that works toward excluding me; as a consequence of everyone denying me, the place is filled with a mood that stimulates further denial and that keeps tormenting me. Children and girls tend to be very sensitive to such peer pressure, and what I fear most is that I end up being led into denying myself by that air.

That is the law that Sakura Kawai has set in the Junseiwa School.

I keep being cut into pieces on the chopping board.

Chop, chop, chop.

Until yesterday, I would have probably already given up fighting back and instead decided to live with it.

However—

I look at Kamisu-san. Noticing my glance, she smiles at me.

She's my ally. An ally who does absolutely not reach out to me.

I do have a goal now. A strong aim is barely holding me together like glue, keeping me from breaking into pieces.

It's time to carry out—my experiment.

People are strong in groups.

However, that is a result of the group being strong as a whole. It doesn't imply that the individual members are strong. Therefore, not all members are as strong as Sakura Kawai when they are not with the rest of their group.

I'm a sheep. I'm the prey, not the wolf. But as long as we're among sheep, it should be possible even for me to attack other weak sheep who strayed from the pack.

"Haha..."

I may be only armed with a rusty paper knife that can't even cut paper anymore, but it still acts as a good weapon against a sheep that is completely unarmed.

I enter the corridor. "Isn't she creepy?" an underclassman says with her finger pointed at me. Her friends agree. Ah, I think I've seen her before. She's a member of the student council, which has degenerated to Reina Kamisu's personal protection force. I think her name was "Fuyuki"?

All right. I found my sheep.

"Hey you, you are making fun of me, aren't you?"

I press the sheep against the wall of the restroom. The lunch break is already over and classes have started. However, there are only special purpose rooms in the vicinity of this restroom, and these are all empty right now.

"W-What do you want from me?! Stop it please!"

As expected: she's not a predator but prey.

She's trying to appear firm because it's me, but alas, her eyes are giving away that she's scared and only add fuel to my urge to trouble her.

I'm good at finding this kind of person. After all, I'm talking with Yoshino every day.

"Is it fun mocking me before my eyes?"

"Stop it...! Let go of me!" she shouts, struggling with a pale face to break free instead of replying. Her resistance is weak, however, because she fears to anger me. "I-If you do me any harm, y-you will be treated even wor—"

Ah, look, this is a characteristic for prey: they immediately rely on others. They don't even try to find a solution by themselves.

"I don't care. Attacking me some more or some less won't make a difference."

But I crush her hope right away.

"D-Don't put on airs—EEK!"

I slap her face. It didn't put in much strength; there's no way she could get hurt by my rusty paper knife.

However, the fact that I used actual violence finished her off.

"How about an apologize first?"

The ashen sheep nods pathetically and repeats, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Now she can't defy me anymore. That was easier than I thought.

"Look, I don't mean to hurt you or to vent of my anger on you."

Fuyuki-san nods repeatedly, although I don't know if she's really listening.

"In fact, I'm actually trying to make your dream come true."

"...my...dream?" she asks confusedly.

"Yes. You're in the student council, right?"

"...Y-Yes... I'm the secretary."

"But in truth, the student council is just the fan club of Reina Kamisu, isn't it? Sakura Kawai being the prime example."

Fuyuki-san moves her head in an awkward way that could be taken both as nodding and as shaking.

"Don't dare deny it!"

"Y-Yes... it is true that we all have great respect for Reina-san..."

Hmph, I sneer and grab her chin. A short shriek escapes her lips because of the sudden touch, proving that she's even more scared.

"And so do you, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

My mouth distorts to a grin.

"If that's the case, then you surely wish for her to be all yours, right?"

Her eyes open widely.

"What? Why do you react like this?!"

"U-Um... I'm not seeing Reina-san in that light... like, I don't want her to be my lover or anything, you know..."

I think I know what Fuyuki-san is getting at. Reina Kamisu is far, far beyond anyone's reach and seems to be impossible to capture. She's just too grand to be deal with as a common person. Even if, purely hypothetically, someone were to win her heart, the law of exclusion would work even harder against that person than it does work against me. That person would be constantly attacked by everyone; and maybe even driven into death.

That's how hard it is to "capture" Reina Kamisu.

Besides, Reina Kamisu is not someone to make a relationship with, but someone to admire; one might be inclined to keep her near oneself for that purpose, but considering the effort required to maintain that state, it is much better to watch her from afar. Likewise, it's much better to watch elephants in a zoo rather than trying to keep it as a pet in a small house.

So, I'm sure Fuyuki-san is being honest with me. However—

"You. Surely. Wish. For. Her. To. Be. All. Yours. Right?"

—I don't care.

I press her chin a bit harder as I repeat my question word by word, all the while scowling right in her eyes.

"—Uh..."

She clearly thinks otherwise, but I've threatened her enough to keep her from disagreeing with me.

"You can't tell me that you have no such desire whatsoever?"

"—Uuh..."

Right. Somewhere, Fuyuki-san, too, feels the desire to keep Reina Kamisu near her.

People like Fuyuki-san, who were pampered all through their lives, tend to be very bad at telling lies. As a result, she has trouble denying my claim that has a grain of truth in it, all the more because she's scared on top of that.

"Hehe... I'll help you," I say with a distorted smile as I let go of her chin.

"...Help me with what...?" she asks anxiously.

"Hm? Isn't it obvious?"

I clearly state my intent.

"—With your love confession."

I'm very sorry, but you can emit as much despair as you want, I'm not going to change my plans.

But I know for certain that you won't escape. Not because you're so scared of me. You've been craving for this, haven't you? For an excuse to confess your love to Reina Kamisu; for a permit that frees you of all blame in the improbable case that you win her over.

—For that bewitching masterpiece that is going to ruin you.

After school, I asked Kamisu-san to follow me to the back of the gym, which is the—admittedly cliched—place I'd chosen for the confession to take place. While I was talking with her, the other girls around her kept frowning at me with blatant hostility.

Needless to say, their hostile attitude hurt me, but fortunately, my goal is of much higher importance to me right now, so I don't have time to think about the pain... but I'm sure that this scratch is going to open once I'm back home, turning into a gaping wound.

Kamisu-san's surroundings urged her not to listen to the request of someone they had deemed a dangerous person, but she adhered to her promise of being my ally (for now), and followed me.

Perfect, looks like I can conduct my experiment.

"Mitsui-san?" Kamisu-san asks as we walk. "Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it."

"I see... I thought that you wanted to consult me about a way to improve the situation."

"Would we find a solution? After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

"..."

She has a point. Most likely, those superficial feelings wouldn't persist long when the general mood changed.

...But then again, is their hatred against me superficial? Isn't it possible that I have made myself those enemies before this incident and was only left alone because their hostility hasn't been united? Judging from the speed at which they assembled, they must have taken issue with me outside the incident with Sakura Kawai.

"Besides—" Kamisu-san continues, seeing that I'm at a loss for words.

"—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

That she says with stunning ease; and it's nothing but a truth.

She does have the power to do just that.

Actually, I wanted to discuss this matter some more, but we reached the back of the gym where Fuyuki-san is already waiting. On noticing her, Kamisu-san gives me a brief look. She remains silent, but I'm sure she has grasped the situation.

I scowl at Fuyuki-san so that she won't give in to her nervousness and escape. Kamisu-san seems to have noticed, but she doesn't say anything—as I expected.

"Sorry for... calling you out to such a place," Fuyuki-san says reluctantly.

"No, I do not mind at all," Kamisu-san replies in a casual manner. Apparently, they know each other pretty well, since she's a member of the student council.

"Um... Reina-san."

"Yes?" Kamisu-san asks with a friendly voice and expression.

After much wavering and hesitating Fuyuki-san then eventually said:

".........I love you."

She must have drafted a much longer confession than that—with adornments and pretty clauses, with reasons and excuses; her head must have been full of them—but in the end, those were the only words she could muster in the face of Kamisu-san.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Those are words of courage, of sincerity. No matter if it was a forced confession or not, the underlying feelings are real.

In response to that—

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

—Kamisu-san smiled sadly.

"Gh..." Fuyuki-san groans as she drops her gaze. "...Thank you...for your time..." she mutters in a hardly audible voice and ran off without raising her face once.

Out of the corner of my eye, I observe Kamisu-san looking after her.

—It's just as I thought.

"Mitsui-san?" she says after directing her eyes at me.

"...Yes?"

"Why did you force her to confess to me?"

"Ah, you noticed?"

"That I did," she says. "Fuyuki-san is... not someone who would confess of her own."

"I only gave her a little push because she didn't seem to have the courage!"

"What is it that you wanted to observe about me, taking advantage of her?"

That's Reina Kamisu for you; she can easily see through all my intentions. Hahaha.

"Also—"

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

Right, you also noticed that, didn't you?

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"That's what I wanted to hear. You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment."

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

Even after I said so, her expression hardly changed. Probably—because she did not know how to.

"...No soul? What do you mean?" she asks.

"Oh come on... Kamisu-san, you're just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Reina Kamisu puts on a wry smile.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real," I explain.

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?" I ask.

"I do."

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

Kamisu-san remains silent, probably feeling forced to acknowledge my point.

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things... no?"

"Over-interpreting, you say? No, not at all. You couldn't care less about others. Whether I hate you or not, whether Fuyuki-san and Sakura Kawai idolize you or not, you simply do not care. Right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to treat everyone as equals."

"...I never intended to treat everyone equally to begin with."

"That's a flat out lie. You're perfect. Everyone will react the same when they see you: admiring your beauty and deeming you perfect. That's how everyone views you."

"You are exaggerating!"

"Oh, don't give me that. You're prefect, absolutely perfect, and in order to maintain that state, you abandoned your content; your soul. You realized that it's the soul that makes us all decompose physically and mentally! You do not deeply socializing with anyone, and if someone gives in to the temptation and comes too close to you, you bite them and corrode them with the perfectness that is you, propagating it in the process. That's how you maintain your state of perfectness."

"...You seem to have lost touch with reality, Mitsui-san... I admit that I might have a certain tendency to lack interest in other people, but that is all there is to it."

"No."

"Mitsui-san..."

"I mean, just look at all the power you have gained already. Who else apart from me at this school is not your subordinate?" I ask.

"That is exactly what I meant by 'over-interpreting.' Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

"They would."

"..."

Even Kamisu-san is left speechless in front of my straight answer; but surely not because she thinks I'm crazy, but because she doesn't know how to counter my argument.

After all, someone like Sakura Kawai would readily follow an order as simple as 'commit suicide,' and Kamisu-san is aware of that.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

===4===

I may have acted too carelessly.

Not only was I seen together with Fuyuki-san and when taking Kamisu-san to the back of the gym, I also disregarded the fact that Fuyuki-san is a member of the student council.

Therefore, this situation is not at all surprising. It's just that I was too occupied with Reina Kamisu and the disconcerting feeling I had.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

With these words, Sakura Kawai presses the club she is holding up against my nose. Ironically, they have taken me to the same place as I forced Fuyuki-san to confess: the back of the gym.

I am unable to oppose her; the pain from the stun gun they used on me when carrying me off has broken my will to resist.

The several students surrounding me are looking down at me with blatant hostility. Fuyuki-san is not among them. So she can't stay on the side of the predators after all... looks like Yoshino isn't going to resist me anytime soon, I think to myself, knowing well how awful that thought is.

"Do you really want to beat me with that thing? You do realize that you'll get yourself thrown out of school?" I counter with my remaining spirit. My rusty paper knife has long since broken, however, and can't even scratch them anymore.

"Only if I'm found out," she says with a distorted smile. "I don't think that will happen, though."

"Yeah, I see that you've made sure to have some of your subordinates keep watch. But... what if I tell someone?"

"I'll just have to prevent that, no?" she replies.

With a dirty smile, the girl standing next to Sakura Kawai produces a digital camera.

"...What are you going to do with this camera?"

"I heard your grandfather is quite the big wig in the Mitsui Group, Mitsui-senpai. Oh, but I also heard that your father was so busy gaining your grandfather's favor that he blew it with his wife and daughter of the big wig so much that he ended up moving out."

"Why do you know this...?"

"Your family is of such influence that a divorce is out of question. Don't you think that there is a market for naughty pictures of a young girl that belongs to such a remarkably influential family?"

"...Are you serious?"

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that question?" she answers coldly.

This can't be... real. I never thought something unhuman like this could occur outside of fiction. Even if there is some war with countless people dying, that doesn't directly affect me and the world I live in. The attacks that I am supposed to face are slander and pranks, and that alone was enough to inflict deadly damage on me...

But as a matter of fact, the bunch around me have already used a stun gun on me, and they are armed with a knife, a club and a digital camera.

Sakura Kawai scowls at me and asks, "Where is it going to be?"

"...What?"

"I asked you where you want your first blow!" she suddenly roars and kicks me in the stomach.

"Ugh..."

It hurts.

It hurts horribly.

It hurts incredibly.

This is... violence.

I always felt like I were in a small box, and I felt agonized by the people that were crammed into that box along with me. I hated that box. But in truth, I was protected by that box. Outside of it, I would have been beaten up and died in an instant.

But then where can I live in peace?

Nowhere, I'm sure. A weak person like me will be attacked and killed wherever she is.

I don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

"My head," I say bluntly.

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Apparently, she took this as a provocation; Sakura Kawai became red with anger. Oh my god, she's going to club my head for real, even though she won't get away with it if I die...

And so she raised the club and—

"What are you doing there?"

—stopped on the spot.

I look at the beautiful savior of my life.

"Kamisu...san..." I mutter.

Sakura Kawai takes the club down for the time being and gives Kamisu-san a troubled look: "Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!" Sakura Kawai shouts with a fire-red face, only to be looked at by Kamisu-san in a calm manner.

"If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's...because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," Kamisu-san repeats with a slightly stronger tone.

Sakura Kawai looks at Kamisu-san, after which she catches a glimpse of me just to return her gaze to Kamisu-san.

"......OK..." she eventually says, sulking like a scolded child.

Having heard that, her colleagues exchange glances and traipse after her as she leaves with a downhearted face.

Aah, what a non-independent bunch. They should all just die.

And like that, the two of us ended up in the same setup as the day before.

"Why... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

That was a superfluous question.

As a proof, Kamisu-san is smiling as she answers it:

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human."

"Hahaha..."

Incredibly. She's perfect.

She really does not have any interest in anyone. She doesn't give a damn about my view of her.

"...By the way, does that mean that you acknowledge what I said yesterday?"

Kamisu-san smiles wordlessly in response to my question.

Ah... her smile is so beautiful.

"Not human and soulless, huh...," I unwittingly mutter.

"I'm so jealous."

Kamisu-san gives me a slightly surprised glance upon hearing that mutter, "Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I could—do without a soul."

Suddenly, something Sakura Kawai had told me crosses my mind.

"I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

Heh, so in the end, she was right all along.

I was jealous.

I envied Reina Kamisu for not being hurt by anyone's words.

"I can't recover from this blow."

I'm done for. Sakura Kawai may have been stopped, but that only means that all that negative energy has not been vented; I will continue to bathe in her and her group's resentment, hurting myself, taking damage, driven into a corner.

It's June right now; that means that there's more than half a year until graduation. All the while until then, I will continue to be attacked, and once I've graduated, I may be released from them but new attackers will appear in their places. The attacks themselves won't stop—the person executing them will simply change.

Now and forever—as long as I am who I am—I will keep throwing myself into the spears others have thrown at someone else, getting hurt in the process, and attacking them myself until they really aim their spears at no one else but me.

This is how I'm done for.

If that is what makes me human, if that means that I have a soul—

—then I can well do without this... rotten soul.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

That's an honest wish of mine, and in response to that heartfelt mutter, Reina Kamisu—

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

—laughed.

"Huh...?"

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

That's not it. I wasn't surprised by her offer.

Did Reina Kamisu just... laugh?

She was always smiling; not because she seemed delighted or amused or anything like that, however, but because smiling is her neutral expression.

I think this is the first time I've seen her expressing real emotion.

The way she laughed was of course beautiful too. Beautiful indeed... but something about it struck me as incongruous, unbalanced, and filled me with disgust. Although I can't put my finger on what that is.

However, I decide to forget my misgivings for now and ask her about her offer instead.

"It's easy to erase one's soul...?"

"Yes, it is easy to do what you would define as 'erasing one's soul.' You just have to drop all your interest in others, and that can be done easily."

"That's... absurd."

However, Kamisu-san does absolutely not look like she's joking. And—she looks like she could do that any moment.

"But do you not agree that if, for the sake of argument, you lost all your five senses, you would not even be able to take an interest in others, since you could not feel anything?"

"Well, yeah, but I think that's a really grotesque example..."

"Yes, but I am still right, no?" she laughs and continues:

"I will help you get there!"

After that, Kamisu-san took me to an empty music room. Apparently, she was entrusted with the keys because she practiced the piano every day there—a feat that only someone as esteemed as she can accomplish.

In the end, she disappeared somewhere, saying, "Concentrate on your surroundings."

While getting sinister looks from Beethoven and his composer colleagues, I ponder about the meaning of her words. Concentrate? What on earth is she scheming? There's no way a "human" could do something like erasing someone's soul...

Or do you want to tell me that Reina Kamisu is unhuman for real and not just metaphorically?

Yesterday she evaded the argument, but I got the impression that today she was kind of admitting that she does not care about others. And she "laughed."

What is the meaning of this... what is the meaning of her revealing her true face only to me? Isn't there perhaps—a really grave meaning behind all this?

Why... why am I here, all alone?

Because Kamisu-san took me here, of course.

Hey... What if the thing I discovered was something that Reina Kamisu wanted to keep secret no matter what? What if she was perfectly aware of the reason for my looks when she came over to my place? What if she only pretended to be my ally in order to observe me? What if she was deliberately controlling Sakura Kawai and the others with a certain goal in mind? What is she's really not human?

If all that is true, then—

—she's going to erase my soul.

I feel like Beethoven and Mozart and Händel and Kosaku Yamada are laughing at me. Do their pictures perhaps have a soul, considering that their eyeballs are said to move in every list of school wonders? Maybe they are hurt whenever we call them "scary" or insult their haircuts, and avenge themselves by moving their eyes?

Please, don't look at me. I'm much, much easier hurt than you guys, since I still have a body.

Perhaps Reina Kamisu is controlling them in order to take my soul somewhere? Maybe. I feel it wouldn't be impossible to her.

All of a sudden—I heard several screams outside.

Curious as to what is going on, I look out of the window. I should have acted with more care; because then I would have easily noticed that Kamisu-san's order to concentrate on my surroundings was referring to nothing else but those screams. I was acting exactly as she wanted me to, digging my own grave.

I opened the window.

And then—my soul was erased.

"—Haha..."

I see now.

So that was your plan.

"Hahaha..."

Reina Kamisu tore my soul out of my body and took it with her.

That must have been her goal at this school; and she is going to continue collecting others' souls to return to her real form.

Right? I ask the person before my eyes.

—She responds with an upside down smile.

Others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others.

Hey all of you, is there a reason why you exist? Do your words bear any meaning when you are all destined to be harvested by Reina Kamisu? Of course not. Your lives have no meaning at all. You, too, are crammed in little boxes where you hurt others and get hurt by others. Your Reina Kamisu's subordinates, her servants, her slaves. We're all of no import whatsoever. Meaningless humans.

There's no reason why I should listen to what other worthless people say.

Reina Kamisu is right in every possible way. Only her own words are of substance, and that's why everyone around her was meaningless to her.

Yeah, that's right.

That's the truth.

Right?

And there she goes—there she falls.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Plomp. And as the screams grew even louder—

—I lost all my feelings for good.

===5===

It's June.

As I stand protected under an umbrella, I ponder where the rain, which shows no sign of stopping, is headed—while gazing at the white outlines of a person that have been drawn on the concrete ground near the sakura trees.

The sakura trees have long since lost their bloom and instead put on green leaves. But no one is looking at them. They exist solely for spring and are only planted here for that purpose. As such, they are forgotten during the period when they're not magnificent and become a meaningless piece of scenery.

The trees cried as the rain beat down on them.

There's no doubt that the Junseiwa School is about to fall apart.

It's an undeniable fact that Reina Kamisu jumped down. There have been several witnesses, and above all, there was a corpse in the middle of the carpet of blood spreading below. And that dead body belonged to Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu died.

The absolute ruler, the absolute law, disappeared. As a result, the Junseiwa School has gotten caught up in confusion and is about to collapse.

And I am sure that she did all of that deliberately. In the face of her goal, everything is petty and of no import.

This isn't the end; it's the start. From here on, Reina Kamisu's real goal will become apparent. I don't know what will happen to me in the process, but I'm sure that I could struggle against her as much as I wanted and still be dancing to her tune. It's all her plan. It's all fate.

The die is cast.

Therefore, I won't do anything.

I don't care about all that stuff anymore.

Bereft of my soul, I don't care anymore.

Come to think of it—not that it matters—people with grudges against me keep appearing because I was the last person who spoke to Reina Kamisu.

The hatred and the hostility against me has become so blatant by now that even the teachers are slowly noticing. What a waste of time. I couldn't care less. As if your brittle spears could ever hurt me when I'm soulless and transparent. Oh boy, you should all just die.

I take notes of the lesson that is taking place. Now that I think about it, I've neglected studying a bit recently. I have to get more serious. I don't feel like thinking anymore; I'll just follow the rails laid out for me.

After our classes—which I followed carefully—the prime example of a trivial person came to me.

"It's your fault that Reina-san died!" Sakura Kawai roars as she enters my classroom.

Oh boy, what a noisy girl. I was ignoring her, but I guess I ought to respond to her.

"Even if that's true, what of it?"

"...What did you say?" she asks with a red face as she draws near. It's getting old.

"Haha..."

"W-What's so funny?!"

"What can you do? What can a fox who borrowed the authority of a tiger do, now that Reina Kamisu is no more?"

"Don't mess with me! I still have colleagues who follow me!"

"Even though Reina Kamisu abandoned you?"

"...What do you mean by that?"

"You don't get it, or what? And you call yourself the representative of Kamisu-san's fan club? Looks like you were blinded by her superficial beauty, eh?"

I continue with absolute certainty:

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

"Wha—?!"

Oh wow, looks like she really didn't understand. Pathetic.

"That's absurd, now! Don't make up things!"

"Absurd? Haha... you're quite the funny one, aren't you?"

"But I'm right! How do you explain her corpse then?!" she asks in response.

"Beats me. But listen, she would never end her life for someone else's sake, nor would she despair and kill herself when she doesn't even care about others. Well? That leaves only the option that I brought up."

The red in her face slowly drains and changes into white instead.

"You're—out of your mind," she mutters.

"I'm not the one who's insane," I answer bluntly.

"Are you saying that I'm the one who lost her mind?!"

"You could say that, but in truth—we have all lost our minds."

She grows even paler.

"We have been too long at this school that was pervaded by Reina Kamisu. We're beyond rescue! ...You, too, will realize soon enough that she isn't dead. She's only watching us from afar for the time being. She might approach us again someday, with a smile."

"C-Cut out this crap... I'm going to kill you!"

"Good luck with that. But I'm going to defend myself because I don't like pain. I guess I'll make sure to carry a knife around since you just threatened me."

"Gh! What is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?!"

"Me? I'm the same as you! Just another student going to the Junseiwa School. A human. And—a subordinate of Reina Kamisu's."

In the end, Sakura Kawai spit out a final insult before she left and stopped to bother me.

The rain still hasn't stopped.

Sakura leaves have fallen on the outlined figure on the ground, but unlike the blossoms, which are said to be beautiful even after scattering, they don't stir any emotion inside me.

The rain still shows no sign of stopping.

—Reina Kamisu scattered here.

But while it is true that she threw herself down here, was it really then that she threw her body away? Couldn't it be that she did so in the past or will do so in the future?

I don't know. I also don't know whether it was she herself that scattered or just her magnificent blossoms.

But there is one thing I do know.

"We will meet again, won't we?" I mutter in a voice that is drowned by the rain.

However—

"—Yes."

A voice that must be an illusion reaches me, causing me to raise my head.

Of course, there is no trace of anyone. All I can see is a tree.

"Hahaha..." I laugh toward the sakura tree.

The blossom-less sakura tree somehow resembled Reina Kamisu's smile.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai

2016-01-03T02:52:39Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai==

===1===

The thought of how thin the ice was I have always stood on until now makes my skin crawl. I have been wiggling left and right like a balancing toy, prone to leaning over—or falling over—any time.

Japanese religion counts thousands of gods.

But doesn't that just mean that people could not decide on a single one? The god you cherish can't be the same as mine, and the god he cherishes can't be the same as yours. In other words, we all consider different things important.

There is no such thing as an universal god.

In other words, there is no god.

If you are able to look at things in a somewhat objective light and look at the state nowadays, then you will see: It is foolish to believe in something.

What people ultimately believe in are tangible things. Money. Because money is much more certain than intangible things like love and friendship. People believe in money, the inorganic, equivalent and quickly betraying thing that gets stained with finger marks in people's pockets and created day by day by human hands at the bank.

It's filthy in a way.

And yet, I knew that nothing could help me better than money, and that I could even buy love and friendship if I used it the right way. In the end, I believed in money in every respect. On one side, those old, wrinkled banknotes that came and went to and from my pocket were dear to me, and the other side, I felt filthy and ended up in despair.

Ultimately, in my world there was nothing to believe in, nothing to hold on to.

I wanted to believe in something beautiful, something pure.

However, there was no such thing no matter where I searched and even if I tried to believe in something, I couldn't shake off my doubts. I ended up trembling in fear of falling.

But that time has ended.

[Plink]

Whenever I think of what creates and defines my foothold, the "Heroic Polonaise" starts to play in my mind. This transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental melody is my guide to a steadfast world.

If I were to describe it as an image, then it would be a lake with water so transparent that I forget that there is water.

What I believe in?

—Reina Kamisu.

I do therefore not forgive people who deny her.

But because everybody knows how beautiful and splendid she is, I did not have to deal with such a person. It was unthinkable that someone would deny her.

However—

Yukimi Mitsui appeared and denied Reina-san.

Enemy! She was my enemy! She was the enemy of us who believe in Reina-san!

I could not let her get away with this. Never.

Denying Reina-san is equivalent to destroying my foothold, to putting me back on thin ice. I could not allow that. What right did she have? "Who do you think you are?" I thought and actually asked her.

However, she ignored my warning and chose to remain my foe. Her attitude was a clear message of enmity to me and the other believers.

Yeah, you have got some nerve. I'll fight you back, then.

I told the members of the student council, which was constructed of students who also believed in Reina-san, about Yukimi Mitsui. That was enough to arrange her removal from the Junseiwa school. This place is full of people believing in Reina-san, who also consider anyone who denies her their enemy.

I was satisfied.

After I had launched a devastating attack at my foe, I was already satisfied.

I was forgetful.

A baited cat may grow as fierce as a lion

Yes, satisfied with making an attack, I forgot to keep my guard up.

Blood.

When I returned to my room at the dorm, my roommate Anna Fuyuki was lying in her own blood in the shower room.

For a few moments I was overwhelmed. Absent-mindedly I gazed at the blood flowing down the drain, at the razor blade, at Anna's naked body as water showered on her, at her left wrist and the straight cut, at the blood spilling from there, and finally I screamed, "Anna!" as I rushed to her and held her.

Brr!

Anna has been taking an ice-cold shower, but that is hardly the only reason why she's so cold. Red blood. Milky skin. Blue lips.

Aah, what should I do? I-I must stop the blood ... B-But warming her body comes first. And I have to call the ambulance. Aah, where to start? Why did this happen, anyway?

Only after I take a deep breath it occurs to me that I should stop the shower.

"...Sakura," Anna mutters.

"Why did you do this...?"

"...Sorry for ... troubling you," she says without answering my question. There's no need for her to apologize!

I shake my head and dash out of the room with a "wait a second!" I can't cope with this alone. I need help. After I fetch Yuuko Kasuga and Emi Tachibana from the neighboring room, I have Yuuko bind up Anna's wound because she aspires to become a doctor. In the meantime, Emi calls the ambulance and informs the head of the dorm, whereas I wipe Anna with a towel, put her underwear on, and wrap a blanket around her.

"I'm so sorry..." she keeps apologizing while we are helping her.

To my relief, the flow of blood stops surprisingly easily. "It's not deep," Yuuko whispers into my ear.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry ... I didn't mean to trouble you!" Anna cries.

I shake my head a few times.

Anna, why do you keep apologizing? Didn't you just cut yourself impulsively because something hurt you? Then why—

"———"

A thought suddenly crosses my mind.

The cut is not deep according to Yuuko, but when I found Anna, she was bleeding profusely.

Most likely, she had cut her wrist moments before I arrived at our room.

No ... considering how hard she is apologizing, something else suggests itself.

Anna cut her wrist in the very moment I arrived here.

We have been living here for over a year; I think I know Anna fairly well. I knot about her family problems and the fact that she's so weak as to cut her wrists, and I also know that she's so weak as to be afraid of dying.

Self-harm is a little different from attempted suicide because the scars are made for others to see. They're a message to the world that screams "look how much I'm suffering!" Then who did Anna want to send this message to?

The answer is quite obvious: to me.

Anna is weak.

She does not believe in her own strength, she undervalues herself, and because of that, she is dependent on others. She thinks she can't solve her problems on her own.

Anna wanted to show her suffering to me. She wanted me to save her.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry..."

As she keeps weeping, I give her a hug.

"Sakura...?"

"It's okay, don't worry!"

We have a savior.

We have Reina-san.

After a short while, the ambulance arrived (of course we made sure that Anna wore her clothes at this point). I got into the coach together with her and kept holding her hand on our way to the hospital. By the time we arrived, her hand had turned a little warmer than it initially was.

Since the blood flow had already stopped, there was no need for a blood transfusion. The treatment of her wound didn't take too long; I sat next to her and watched as the doctor scolded her, saying "Don't do this again," and proceeded to disinfecting her wound and binding it up. As a side-note, her parents didn't come. I don't know if they were even contacted, though.

After we left the hospital, I took her to a café that serves delicious black tea. I figured that we would end up getting home a bit late, but I was sure the chief of our dorm wouldn't sound us out after what had happened.

I ordered Darjeeling tea, Anna ordered apple tea. We both kept quiet while we were waiting for our tea to be served.

During that time, I sneaked a few peeks at the bandage around Anna's left wrist.

The cut may have been not that deep, but considering the amount of blood that spilled, this is going to leave a scar.

I wonder if Anna is even aware of the graveness of that scar?

There is only one reason for a scar in a place like this. As soon as someone sees it, that someone will immediately look at her in a different light.

...No, that's still a minor issue.

The one who should not look at this scar the most is—Anna herself.

No matter how happy her life, she will always have this scar with her. And whenever she looks at her wrist, it will remind her of the moment she cut herself. She will become anxious again. She will have to face her family issues and the actual reason that led to the self-harm over and over.

　They say that with every sigh you lose a bit of your happiness, which I can fully understand. After all, if you think you're unhappy, then you will inevitably turn unhappy regardless of your actual situation. Once you persuade yourself of your own misery, you will blame everything on it. Met with an accident? Because you're hapless. Got dumped by your lover? Because you're hapless. Lost in that lottery? Because you're hapless. Tripped? Because you're hapless. Your haplessness becomes the source for everything, even though there might be valid other reasons. Thing that you would originally not even care about feel like mishaps. And since you think it's your fate, you keep falling down into misery for the rest of your life.

In this sense, Anna's scar is a much clearer sign of "misery" than a sigh, and as such, a much stronger curse that attracts misery.

Our tea arrives. I use this as a sign to start a conversation.

"Anna, what's wrong?"

She ponders for a moment and, for some reason, eventually decides to shake her head.

"It's ... nothing."

"Of course there's something."

"No ... as I once told you, living is painful to me, Sakura. It hurts so much to live. This feeling has been growing for a while now and simply reached the limit."

Is she lying? No. I can read as much off her face.

However—

"But there has to be something that triggered it. You wouldn't cut your wrist without a reason."

I am sure of that. Otherwise, there would be no point in harming herself in front of me.

My remark was correct, apparently: Anna casts her eyes down.

"Come, Anna, tell me about it."

However, Anna hesitates long enough for me to finish my Darjeeling tea, and yet she subconsciously wants to say it. She is not faltering, she is just hesitating. I'm starting to get annoyed.

In the next moment, however, my annoyance is blown away.

"I can no longer be by Reina-san's side."

"Huh?"

In utter surprise, I forget to place my tea cup back on the table.

"Reina-san rejected me."

What is the meaning of this...?

Reina-san rejected Anna?

That's not possible. Reina-san does not make exceptions when associating with people. If she would reject someone, then because—

"Anna ... did you perhaps confess your love...?"

"...I did," she nods with tears in her eyes.

Yes. If Reina-san were to reject someone, then because that someone approached her up to that distance.

"Why would you do that?! Reina-san cannot be degraded to a love interest. I can understand the urge to have her all for yourself, but why would you betray us and risk to be rejected by—"

Suddenly, it clicks with me.

Anna would not do something like this of her own accord. That's just not her personality. She would never take a risk so big as to cut her wrists while knowing that she hardly has any chances.

Then why...? Why did Anna confess to Reina-san?

"———"

Ah, of course.

"...Who threatened you, Anna?"

Her tear-stained eyes widen.

"You weren't just talked into it, right? You're the type of girl who would keep some distance if the other girls joked about 'confessing to Reina-san.'"

"..."

"Who was it that threatened you?"

"..."

Anna does not answer. She must have been told to keep quiet about it. Or perhaps she's just afraid of angering the culprit.

Considering her gentle nature, she might just want to avoid hurting that person.

After all, I'm not willing to forgive the culprit.

It goes without saying how deep the sin and how severe the punishment of taking Reina-san from one of us is.

A world without Reina-san ... Aah, just picturing it to myself makes me feel as if I was drying up from the inside.

Because the liquid that is Reina-san is drawn out of my body...?

Indeed ... as a matter of fact, Anna did also lose her own red liquid.

That's the horrible thing the culprit did to Anna.

I will kill her.

I will kill that culprit!

"Who was it, Anna?" I ask again.

"..."

"You have to tell me; she made you cut your wrist!"

"...But..."

"No buts!"

"...I mean..."

"...Fine. I'll just have a guess."

There are only so many suspects. Firstly, it can't be one of "us." Apart from the fact that "we" understand the pain of losing Reina-san, we would choose another method even if we wanted to bully Anna because there was a chance that she would succeed. Then again ... Anna is not a person with many enemies. In fact, I don't know of anyone who dislikes her.

That means that the culprit is not set against Anna herself, but "us" as a group.

—A person who is hostile against "us"?

I know one. I know someone who fits the bill perfectly.

"Yukimi Mitsui."

From the expression on Anna's face I can read that I am right.

So it was she, eh?

That scumbag who made fun of Reina-san, eh? So after insulting Reina-san, so even hurt my weak Anna?

I'll kill her.

I'm gonna kill her!

I resolved to eliminate Yukimi Mitsui from the Junseiwa school.

There is no doubt that it was she who cornered Anna. A few other students witnessed how she took Anna somewhere (and I'm shocked that they did not step in to help her).

I purchased our weapons through the Internet and drilled down her personal information. As most of the students at this school, her family environment turned out to be very peculiar. This piece of information will be useful to torment her.

Together with Yuuko, Emi, and other students who loathed Yukimi Mitsui for what she did to Anna, I proceeded to executing the elimination plan. We will show no mercy to our enemy. It is important to choose your friends and foes wisely, especially at our age where we are still weak by ourselves. If you show mercy to your enemy, you will end up suffering yourself. Anna did not take part in the elimination. Poor thing. That's why she has to suffer!

After school, we first make sure that Reina-san isn't around and then march into Yuki Mitsui's classroom. The disquieting air about us causes the other senior students, who are still present, to look at us, but because Yukimi Mitsui is the center of trouble, they don't intervene.

"What is it?" she asks snappily. "What does the bunch of you want from me?"

I ignore her barking and press my stun gun against her side.

"Ugha!"

She sinks into a crouch.

"Hmm? What was that strange screech about?" I smirk and, as I look down at Yukimi Mitsui, who is holding her side, I command, "Senpai, mind tagging along with me"

She looks up at me with—haha!—fear written all over her face.

"...Where?"

"Just shut up and follow me, okay?"

She didn't dare to resist or escape. Quite satisfied by that, we walk to the back of the gym.

Once we arrive at our destination, I order my companions to keep watch and turn to Yukimi Mitsui, who is clearly intimidated by us (although she is still trying to look brave), with a scowl.

"So I heard what you did."

"...Did what?"

"Want to play dumb? Remember what you did to Anna Fuyuki?"

She screws up her face and averts her eyes without a word of denial.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

I proceed to corner her with the information I gathered, the weapons I bought, and piercing words. Even she could not help losing heart. But my anger hasn't been vented yet. I kick her in the stomach. It's not enough. I haven't vented on her enough. She made fun of Reina-san, she made fun of "us", and she hassled Anna. I can't forgive her. She hurt "us". I won't forgive her.

And yet...

"My head."

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Despite the situation she is in, she started to provoke me.

She completely blew my fuses. That just burned a few of the wires in my head. This girl is playing me for a fool, thinking that I won't really beat her. She is belittling me, thinking that I'm just a tag-along who's clinging to Reina-san. She is looking down on me. She thinks I'm a dependent piece of shit. Don't you think you can make a fool of me! I'll show you what I'm capable of! I'll eliminate you not only from this school, but from this very world that Reina-san lives in!

I raise my club.

"What are you doing there?"

All of a sudden, Reina-san's voice reaches my ears.

I lower my club again. Yukimi Mitsui seems to be just as surprised as I am. It's unlikely that she called her.

"Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!"

However, Reina-san calmly brushes off my yell and counters, "If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's ... because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," she says in a slightly insistent tone. It might really be just slightly in all objectivity, but this is the strongest expression of intent in Reina-san's scale.

Why would she stop me? Yukimi Mitsui is a jerk who even tormented Anna and—

"—Ah."

I look at Reina-san.

I see ... she knows everything. Of course, I'm mad at Yukimi Mitsui for making light of Reina-san.

However, I only went this far—or at least I only thought of murder—not because of Reina-san, but because of Anna.

I was about to use Reina-san as a pretext for avenging Anna .

As such, she has all the right to stop me. She would never approve of being an excuse for taking revenge on somebody. No, her word is absolute to us either way.

"...OK..."

So I have to obey.

We gave up on using violence on Yukimi Mitsui and walked away from the gym. Since I was disheartened by Reina-san's clear denial of my actions and the others were aware of that, we exchanged no words for a while.

We then called it a day. Only my neighbors, Yuuko and Emi, stayed with me.

"Was that really okay?" Yuuko asks.

"...Nothing we could do, was there? We can't just disobey Reina-san!"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"Huh?"

"I was just wondering if it was okay to leave Reina-san alone with Yukimi Mitsui."

I immediately returned to the back of the gym, but they had already left. I headed to the school building.

Yukimi Mitsui must not be underestimated. She can be very belligerent, and on top of that she must be irritated because of what we did to her. God knows what she's going to do to Reina-san, the person who symbolizes "us."

Needless to say, harming Reina-san is on a whole different level compared to harming Anna.

But Yukimi Mitsui might have turned desperate and plan to soil our symbol.

I run around on the school grounds back and forth, and at last, find Reina-san in the corridor where the second music room is located.

"Reina-san!"

She turns around to me. At a glance, it doesn't seem like she was hurt in any way.

"Kawai-san?"

"Are you all right? Did Yukimi Mitsui do anything to you?"

"Mitsui-san?" she asks and then smiles. "It seems that you have a false picture of Mitsui-san. She is not the kind of person who would do anything to me."

"I don't have a false picture of her. But ... are you really unhurt?"

"Yes, of course."

I let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, my fears were ungrounded this time.

Reina-san gives me a wry smile.

Suddenly, I feel horribly embarrassed as I recall that she has willfully denied my actions earlier.

However, her next words blow me away.

"You have come at the correct time. I was searching for you."

"What?!"

Me? Reina-san was searching for me?

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

Reina-san nods with a smile.

"There is something I wanted to tell you."

"Ah ... I feel honored."

"You are exaggerating."

As if!

"What is it that you wanted to tell me, if I may ask?"

With an ever-so-beautiful smile, she said:

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu in the future."


Ten minutes later Reina-san died.

===2===

I picture Reina Kamisu to myself.

Above all she is beautiful. It's as if she was perfection given form. No, you could even say that she is perfection.

She is water so pure and transparent that you can't tell where it starts. I tasted from this pure water and had my life saved by it. A human body consists to 70 percent of water. In other words, 70 percent of my body consists already of Reina-san.

The water that is Reina-san is becoming clouded? The foothold is collapsing?

Impossible.

The conclusion that can be drawn is simple.

Reina Kamisu is not dead.

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

Yukimi Mitsui said so.

Even the girl that I considered my enemy said so.

She also announced to be an underling of Reina Kamisu.

Quite frankly, I underestimated Reina-san's excellence.

I was under the impression that by being with her I was able to increase her value to some extent. Of course, I was completely wrong! Reina-san had no problems showing her splendor to its best advantage even in places that are outside my circle of influence.

Therefore, it's perfectly possible that plans for feigning her death came to be without my knowing.

How they did it?

I don't care. The only thing that matters is the fact that she's alive.

Besides ... would Reina-san even need any realistic means for something as minor as feigning her death?

Of course not.

Reina-san can overcome even death.

I met Reina-san's brother, Ryoji-san. He has also noticed that she's still alive. That makes him the third one of us and proves that it's an undeniable fact that Reina-san's alive.

On his request, I showed him around in school. He acted a bit strange here and there, but he also said this to me:

"I don't know what Reina wanted to achieve by scattering, but I do know the cause."

"What is it...?"

"The cause is—you and your friends."

I was confused at first.

What is the meaning of this? It was us who made her scatter? Has her brother perhaps gotten to this conclusion by talking to me?

Reina-san scattered because of ... us?

No, Reina-san scattered for us.

Which means...?

Right, Reina-san feigned her death for us.

I see. That would explain why she chose to feign her death at this school. It was all for our sake. Reina-san is trying to save us hopeless lambs.

Right, we are hopeless.

Anna, for example, suffers because of her family problems. I, for example, am unable to see anything but a dark, dull future. Because there is no god in this world, there is nothing to depend on and there is no hope for us.

That doesn't make sense!

This system is way too unbalanced. Too unfair. Too absurd. How is that OK? Everything's a lie except for the things that hurt? That's cruel!

Therefore, Reina-san can't be dead.

No, she can't be dead.

She can't be dead.

She's alive.

A-L-I-V-E.

I will kill everyone who dares to claim that she's dead in front of me. Because they're too stupid to be kept alive. Why do these ugly maggots even breathe even though they are blinded by commons sense, even though they believe in nothing but money!

Reina-san simply disappeared somewhere because of some reason.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu in the future."


The meaning of her last words starts to dawn on me.

She entrusted me with a task.

What task?

To preserve her place for when she appears again.

Reina-san is not dead, but only very few are aware of it. At this time, it's only Yukimi Mitsui, her brother and me. There may be more, but the number stays small. Moreover, there must be people who have doubts about the lie that is Reina-san's death, but they are lacking evidence.

However, it's true that the lie she spread is very cunning. So cunning, in fact, that the lie will become true once everyone starts to believe it. I don't want to state the obvious, but the dead can't coexist with the living. Dead people lose their relation to the living.

Reina-san will come back, but I feel that her return is bound to certain conditions.

After all, Reina-san is trying to save us. Salvation does not come to people who don't believe in salvation. Therefore, those who forgot her, those who lost faith in her will not be saved. There is no reason for her to appear in a place where she has been forgotten, in a place that is outside the range of her salvation.

It means that I have to make sure she has a place to return to.

In order to meet Reina-san—in order to meet again her again—I have to keep her place unoccupied.

I see! This is a trial.

A trial to test my faith in Reina-san.

As a way to arrange a place for Reina-san, I chose to take advantage of my position as the president of the student council. I asked the teachers to let me have a speech at the monthly assembly and received permission.

The day of the assembly arrived in no time. Through the microphone the teacher who presided over the assembly says, "The president of the student council would like to take the floor." Following his announcement, I climb on the stage and encounter almost five hundred faces, some of which are older than me, some of which are the same age, and some of which are younger than me. Most of their gazes are directed at me. I've gotten used to this sight. After receiving the sign, I, the teachers and the nearly five hundred students bow to each other.

I survey the audience.

Nearly five hundred people. This is hardly anything when comparing it to the numbers used by the mass media, but it's quite an overwhelming sight nevertheless. Is it really in my power to reach their hearts and project Reina-san into them? I don't want to admit it, but Yukimi Mitsui was right when she remarked that my charisma has dwindled. The weight of my words depends on whether or not Reina-san is present. Is it really in my power to show them the right path?

Don't falter! The more numerous the audience, the better. I don't need to convince all of them. I only need enough of them to create a place for Reina-san.

I open my dry mouth:

"Good morning, my dear schoolmates. My name is Sakura Kawai and today I would like to address Reina Kamisu's suicide."

Their gazes focus on me as I address the hottest topic at school. Everyone knows that I took on the position as president of the student council from Reina-san, and that I was her primary servant. They must be fairly curious about what I have to say about this subject.

"As you all know, Reina Kamisu was a special student. I am certain that I do not need to lose any words on how special she was. As such, many among you must still be confused by the sad news of her death. Many among you must still be mourning for her. I was one of them, too."

The students who noticed that I used past tense start to whisper to each other. Not a week has passed since Reina-san throw herself from the rooftop; in normal circumstances it would be impossible for me, her primary servant, to overcome the sadness of losing her.

"However—"

As expected, the majority of the students are all ears for my words. I deliberately choose to provoke them.

"—Let me be frank. Only a fool would be sad about her death."

My words create a general stir.

The students start to exchange glances and the teachers become alarmed. I don't mind if they stop me in the worst case, as long as I can communicate the important things. I only need to get their attention. Some of them will be curious enough to approach me of their own to hear the rest, and I will tell them. My thrilling ideas will soak through them and then automatically spread among the rest of the students.

My network is extensive enough to pull this off, even without Reina-san.

"Why is it foolish? Before I answer this question, let me read your mind."

I feel almost all of their five hundred gazes on me. Excellent.

"Certainly, you were all shocked by her suicide. You are bewildered and you are sad. But above all, do you not have a 'fuzzy feeling' in your chests? Do you not feel that something is wrong?"

As I stand on the stage, I discover a few students who nodded.

"I know what that 'fuzzy feeling' is. Let me get straight to the resolution: you have this feeling because you think that Reina Kamisu might still be alive."

My words create yet another stir.

"Please do not misunderstand me: I mean it quite literally, not in the clichéd sense of her living on in our hearts. Her metabolism is still intact. You may say this is absurd, but then answer me: Can you deny it with all honesty? Can you really say for sure that Reina Kamisu is dead?"

To be frank, I'm only spitting nonsense. A fuzzy feeling? Well, of course they have that feeling! After all, Reina Kamisu, the person who occupied a large part of their hearts, died (they think) from one day to the next without a reason! How could they not have ruffled feelings about it?

However, the ones who fell for it and bought my explanation for their fuzzy feeling will think that everything I said might be true.

Some of them might naturally see through my trick, but can they deny my words with certainty? Can they pass on the compelling thought that Reina Kamisu might still be alive, just to deny what I said? Can they thrust the ones who got their hopes up back into the abyss of despair, even if they were certain it's a lie?

Reina Kamisu is dead. Reina Kamisu is alive. If you had to choose one, you would choose the latter.

If both options are hard to believe, then you would choose the latter.

It's a shame that I have to trick them, but sadly, only few are able to see the truth like me. It's highly unlikely that anyone understands Reina-san like I do.

I proceed to the final blow.

"Dear colleagues, my ideas must sound absurd to you, and I am aware of that. I would laugh it off as ridiculous if I was one of you.

"But ... it is the truth.

"All of you who are laughing at my words will be laughing out of the other side of your faces next week. Why? It's simple."

Yes, I understand Reina-san.

I know the answer.

I only need to give them a glimpse of the answer.

"Because next week, on the first day of July, Reina Kamisu will come back."

My speech turned out less successful than anticipated. The majority view seemed to be that my claims were too implausible, and because this became the mainstream, the people who actually believed me could no longer openly say so.

I don't think it was wrong to hold a speech. Actually, I'm positive that it was the best choice I could make. However, it seems like the world has become too science-oriented to leave room for the thought that someone could resurrect from the dead. Damn ... aren't men the ones who are supposed to only make logic decisions? Our society makes it hard to spread correct ideas. Even psychics who clearly have some sort of power are called fakes these days.

But I don't care.

I haven't failed.

It's true that the majority are fools who are unable to question Reina-san's death, but they're only the majority.

People who believe me, who believe in Reina Kamisu, may be the minority, but they do exist.

"I also thought that Reina-san is still alive! I was relieved to hear that I wasn't the only one who thought so!"

"That 'fuzzy feeling' you mentioned was really preying on my mind. You took a huge weigh off my mind when you pointed it out to us and uncovered the truth behind it."

"Reina-san is still alive! There's no way she would die, is there?"

"I'm not entirely convinced ... but if you are so certain of it and even know when she's coming back, I want to try to believe you."

"I never believed that Reina-san was dead!"

People who said things like this appeared before me. 17 in number. Most of them were third-year students who inherently spent more time with Reina-san than the younger generation. 17 is not a large number compared to 500, but it's not so small, either, if you think of it as half a class.

Is Reina-san going to appear again even with such a small number? Though a little anxious, I decide to be optimistic.

I mean, Reina-san is much smarter than me. She must have foreseen that I would only be able to convince a small number of people even if I did my best. But most of all, the girls who believe in her "presence" are the ones who long for salvation so hard that they have no other choice but to believe in her "presence." Reina-san would never abandon them.

However, that doesn't mean that we can sit back and wait. Just thinking that Reina-san might still be alive is not going to bring about any progress.

What we need is unification. Unified prayer. We have to focus our prayers so strongly that they will reach Reina-san.

That is what has to be done to accomplish Reina-san's return.

In order to proceed to action, I told "the girls" who believe in Reina-san's "presence" to assemble at the Student Council Room after school. By the way, part of the student council, which also includes Anna, also believe in Reina-san's "presence."

It's unfortunate that I'm the only one who "knows" of Reina-san's "presence," but it's not a problem. I only have to guide "the girls" to this knowledge.

It's Thursday, the 29th of June. The first of July will be the day after tomorrow. Time is running out. I have to make sure that "the girls" will make a beeline for our goal without getting sidetracked by anything.

After we assembled at the Student Council Room, we had a long conversation. About Reina-san. About our devotion to Reina-san. About our selfless love for Reina-san. About our relation to Reina-san. About our need for Reina-san. About the importance of Reina-san. About how Reina-san feigned her death. About why Reina-san disappeared. About how Reina-san is going to affect us in the future. About how Reina-san's Reina-san is Reina-san and Reina-san can Reina-san with Reina-san to be Reina-san. Unfortunately, six of the initial seventeen members could not keep up and left our ranks, but the rest of us were able to talk about Reina-san without end. In this manner, we deepened our trust in Reina-san and synchronized with each other.

However, talking only about Reina-san does not suffice. If Reina-san were a diamond and you wanted to fascinate someone with it, you could preach about the diamond's beauty as long as you want and still achieve nothing. Fortunately, they are already fascinated by the diamond that is Reina-san, but still it doesn't suffice. "The diamond suits you!" "It makes you charming!" "You need it!" Similarly, by talking about why we need the diamond and why we have to be fascinated with it, we can strengthen our faith in Reina-san.

"Anna?"

I decide to start with Anna, the easiest target, because she's my classmate, my roommate, the secretary of the student council, and a cutter. Not only can I predict her answers, she is in dire need of Reina-san. She's also a perfect case for the others to listen to.

"Do you have those moments when you feel tired of living in this world?"

Her eyes widen as I pose an unexpected question. It's obvious how she will answer this.

While looking at the bandage on her wrist, she replies, "...All the time."

I nod as compassionately as possible. The other girls, who have been talking with each other, start to give us their attention.

"...Do you also feel like this sometimes, Sakura?"

"Sure," I answer.

"That's a little surprising."

"Do I not look like someone who would get tired of living?"

"Mhm. I mean, you're clever, flexible, and pretty. You ... are good at making your way, I guess? I thought that people like you don't think like that."

"Good at making my way ... huh? Perhaps you can say that. But what if that's exactly why I'm suffering?"

"...Huh?"

"I'm clever. I'm also popular enough to make it to the student council president, although I may have gotten backup from Reina-san. I'm know how to make my way. I'm a realist. Because of that, I was unable to believe in anything and also unable to depend on anything."

Talking about yourself first is a common trick to break the ice. It will unlock Anna's heart

"I understand that you don't have it easy, either," Anna says and adds hesitantly, "...But does it really make you suffer?"

"It does! When you're a realist, you lose the ability to have dreams, you know? For instance, let's assume I wanted to become a writer. In that case, I would realize that it's futile before even trying. There are thousands and thousands of aspiring writers, but only a small fraction of them make it, and only another fraction is able to get by.

"Because of my position in the student council, I often find myself surveying all of our students from the stage. Almost five hundred. That's an overwhelming number! If only one of those five hundred received the talent of succeeding as a writer, how many lots would I have to draw? Do I have that talent right now? Of course not. I never was the best in anything."

"...Mhm."

"When you're a realist, you look up, and when you look up, you see an endless sky. Why would I have the privilege to go all the way to the top? How could I soar up into the sky when I'm currently crawling on the ground? Do you understand, Anna? This is the pain of being realistic."

"...I think I understand."

"Tragic things like child abuse, divorce and accidents aren't the only things that make us suffer. I think that it's the things close to us that really torment us."

Everyone nods in agreement. I know that they all feel discontent with something in their lives.

How should we be optimistic in a world where nothing ever works out? How should we have dreams when we can't even make it into the University of Tokyo, which counts more than 3000 admissions every year? If we earnestly tried to accomplish our dreams, all we would get is scoff at believing in skills we don't have. That's why we give up. Realistic thinking bereaves us of our future and makes us give up. This is how the world throws us into the abyss.

"What about you, Anna? What is tormenting you?"

Anna remains silent. Not because she doesn't want to answer, but because she doesn't know how to word it.

"...I often wonder why I'm living," she eventually says with her glance cast down. "Because it doesn't matter whether I'm alive or not."

"That's not true, Anna! I'd be sad if I lost you."

"Mhm, thanks. But ... that's it."

"What do you mean...?"

"You'd be sad and that's it. Or would my death follow you for your entire life? Would you mourn for me for the rest of you life?"

"I—"

Of course, I would be sad if Anna died. I would probably cry. But ... I don't know how long that sadness would last.

"If I died a shocking death, it might subsist as a trauma. If I died young, you might remember it for that. But in that case, you wouldn't remember me but only my 'death,' right? I'd only live on as a bad memory, which means that my value is negative.

For example, if I went missing, I'm sure you would be worried about me in the beginning, but after only a month you would hardly talk about me anymore, and after a year you would have forgotten me. I think that I don't mean much to all of you."

"That's not true!"

I'm aware that I sound a bit phony.

Of course I care about Anna. She's a good girl—the type who gets along with everyone. On the other side, in many senses you will never find a person of this type in the center of a group. In short, she's one of many. Anna is never the center.

"But Anna, listen ... if, for the sake of the argument, we wouldn't mourn for you so long, what about your family?"

Anna suddenly contorts her face.

Aah—looks like I put my foot in it.

I immediately realized it. The moment I saw her self-ironic　face when I said the word "family", I realized what her answer is.

The answer to my question is "no" and more importantly...

This is the cause for Anna's view on life.

"My family?" Anna sneers with her eyes cast down. "Even though I only have a father who hasn't exchanged a word with me for over a year?"

I couldn't ask about her mother. Nothing good would come of it.

"...Oh, why would anyone care about or understand me when even my family doesn't?"

No one understands her.

I would like deny that, but again, I can't.

It's a fact that her father did not come when she cut her wrist. Of course, she cut her wrist to show me her wound, but at the bottom of it is her family, her father who neglected her.

No one understands you.

Exactly.

The same applies to me: nobody understands me. People are so good at feigning understanding that I sometimes almost buy into it, but in the end, nobody ever understood me. Everyone always dismissed my worries as the wailing of a pubescent, spoiled girl.

Even though they were so defining to me.

Nobody understands my values and beliefs, and I don't understand the values and beliefs of anybody.

Therefore I'm sure I can't understand Anna, either.

"Aah—why do I live...?"

Anna is serious.

To Anna, who is in the firm belief that even her family lacks understanding for her, living can't be enjoyable. She must be wishing to disappear like melting snow. Just like me.

Will this sentiment ever disappear? Will we find ourselves doing some generic office work in our future, and giving birth to cute babies while experiencing twinges of emptiness from time to time? Is that what we will become to survive?

Just thinking about it makes me sick.

This thought is so realistic. So filthy.

We may have been foolish, but we were pure.

"Anna."

"Hm?"

"This sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"This world sucks."

"It does."

"It's painful, right?"

"It's painful!"

"Do you want to be saved?"

"I want to be saved!"

"Do you want to see Reina-san?"

"I want to see Reina-san!"

Dear God, whether you exist or not.

We need salvation.

I demand of you to return Reina-san immediately.

"Reina-san is different from us," I say.

"Yes, she is different. She is incredibly pretty and perfect and I'm sure that there's a meaning to her life even if there's none to ours."

"Yes, I agree."

"...Yeah."

"Unlike us, she does not have any fixed definitions that predefine her life."

"Yeah."

"Then how do we want to define Reina-san?"

Anna and the others look up into space.

"Aah—"

—Their eyes start to twinkle.

"—I see now," Anna mutters. "Aah, I see ... I see!"

"You're right, Anna. Listen, everyone, you found the answer!"

There's no need to explain everything. There can't be a need to explain everything, otherwise it wouldn't be believable.

I only needed to lead their way to a sentiment they already have.

"Living is so painful to us, which is why ... Reina-san lives."

Reina-san is water.

She is sweet water that fulfills you the more desperate you are.

Reina-san bears a deep meaning just by existing.

A person like her—

"She can't be dead," someone says.

"Reina-san is alive," I assure with a nod. "And—she will appear on the first of July."

Ah, at last!

They all made it there.

===3===

Anna has become reliable.

She could even tell where Reina-san is going to appear, now that she arrived at the conclusion that Reina-san is alive.

"If she disappeared on the rooftop, wouldn't she also appear there again?"

I see. That stands to reason.

I can't believe that she was able to deduce this without my guidance.

The other girls who had made it to my level also become reliable and were able to discover the answer.

We head to the rooftop.

It's still eight in the morning. As we make our way to our destination, we receive the blessing of the sun that is shining brightly through the windows.

Such fine weather during the rainy season! This must be a sign from heaven.

While keeping an even pace we walk up the stairway. With cheerful smiles. With eerily beautiful and uniform smiles. For we acquired a goal that we can live for without any hesitation and distractions.

The sparkling door comes into view.

Beyond that door. Beyond that door, Reina-san is waiting.

I lay my hand on the shining door.

"Wait, Sakura."

Somebody calls my name from behind. Slightly disgruntled, I turn around and find Yuuko. She is one of the blinded fools who didn't believe me and think that Reina-san were dead.

"What's the matter, Yuuko?" I ask in a calm tone of voice because there's no point in getting angry at her.

"...That's my line! You're not allowed to go to the rooftop, and you should know that."

It's as she says. While I did go there once with Reina-san's brother, it has officially been forbidden since Reina-san's incident. However, because the students of this school are generally trusted, they didn't lock the door.

"Today is the first of July, right?"

"Well, yes," I answer Yuuko's obvious question.

"Girls ... do you really, really believe it? That Reina-san is alive?" she asks, looking hesitantly at each of the twelve of "us". "And that she's on the rooftop? That's what you think, right?"

"Yes!" I assert without hesitation.

"...As you may know, my family runs a hospital."

I nod.

"I often went there when I was a child," she explains. "My father gave me free entrance because he thought I could learn something. I often made friends with elderly people.

"And I often had to see them dying."

"...What's your point?" I ask.

"You know my point. What I want to say is something that every child knows: the dead do not come back to life again. That shouldn't be news to you girls."

"Reina-san isn't dead."

"You just don't want to admit it!"

"Reina-san isn't dead," I reply calmly.

Oh dear ... Yuuko knows nothing. Unsurprisingly so.

Yuuko seems a bit daunted because I didn't show any signs of becoming angry, but she continues nevertheless:

"...You'll only be disappointed if you go past this door, Sakura! What you will find isn't a bright future, but the bitter truth that Reina-san is dead."

"That's not possible."

"Even if you were to find her ... then it's nothing but an illusion!"

"If you're so certain, then why don't you come with us, Yuuko?"

"Huh?" she utters with an open mouth in response to my apparently unexpected proposal.

She must be thinking that only "we" are allowed to be there.

"You don't mind, do you?" I ask my companions and they nod peacefully. "So? Coming with us?"

"...Fine," she sighs after some hesitation.

You shouldn't be sighing, Yuuko ... you'll lose some of your happiness!

I lay hand on the door again and—open it.

Light.

"—Aah!"

The world opens itself to us.

And then—

And then—

—I was taken in.

Just like then, just like our first encounter, I took in her, who is water, or maybe she took me in.

I listen carefully.

Instead of Chopin's Heroic Polonaise, her transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental voice reaches my ears.

"I am delighted to see you all again."

Amidst the light she spoke to us.

Amidst the light Reina Kamisu spoke to us.

As I beheld her beautiful countenance, I started to cry and shiver with excitement.

"Reina-san," I say. The others follow suit and mutter her name as well, also crying and shivering with delight.

Aah, they can see her just like I do. Wonderful. Nothing stands in our way to happiness now!

Poor Yuuko seems to be thunderstruck by the sight of who we are looking at.

"Forgive me for keeping you waiting," the beautiful girl apologizes with an apologetic smile.

"It's OK! We believed in your return."

"Thank you."

Reina-san responds to my words. Aah! That alone makes me so happy!

"Reina-san...! So you feigned your death to save us, right?"

"Yes, exactly."

"If you don't mind, could you explain to us why there was a need to do that?"

"I am afraid that it might be a little complicated. Do you mind?"

"Of course not."

"As you can surely feel, Kawai-san, this world is rotten."

"Ah, so it's as I thought."

"It is impossible to become happy in this world. Suffering is the only option. If you deceive yourself and turn a blind eye to various things, however, it is possible to obtain an illusion of happiness. But since it is only an illusion, it means that you are not really happy by definition."

"This sounds so rotten."

"Yes. Hence, there is no happiness or salvation as long as you do not disengage from this world. This is why I decided to temporarily leave this world and search for a better one."

Does that mean that she counts as dead in this world? ...No, the idea of death is of no importance. As a matter of fact, Reina-san is standing before my eyes. That's all there is to it. There's no need for me to investigate further.

"And—I discovered our paradise. Therefore, I have appeared here again."

All that's left is to give myself entirely to Reina-san.

"It is a place free of suffering, where everything is gentle, where everything is enjoyable, and where everything is beautiful."

I listen closely to her, completely in raptures. The same seems to apply to the others.

We are going to be saved.

I'm so happy that I believed in Reina-san.

I'm so—happy.

"I am afraid to say that I am not able to remain in this world. In fact, it is questionable if you can even say that I am here right now. I may have only just arrived, but I will therefore disappear once more from here temporarily."

Please don't. I don't want to be separated.

"Are you not going to take us there right now?"

Reina-san shakes her head.

"I cannot take you there anytime. It is difficult to explain, but ... please picture to yourselves hundreds upon hundreds of holes. Once our minds leave our bodies, they are judged based on various conditions and then thrown into one of these holes. Some of them lead to worlds that are even worse than here.

"To some extent, I can control which hole you will be thrown into. However, depending on the 'time', which is one of the various conditions, it might not go well."

"I understand."

Reina-san nods sadly. "I will appear here again tomorrow at six o'clock in the evening. I am sorry ... time has run out. I shall see you tomorrow."

With these words, Reina-san disappears.

She did not walk away, she literally vanished.

I look around. My companions, too, still seem bemused and are gazing at the place where Reina-san was standing. Some of them are also talking to themselves as though in trance.

One among them is showing a different reaction, though. I approach her.

"What do you say now, Yuuko? Reina-san's alive, isn't she?"

Yuuko turns her head to me like a rusty robot. On her face I recognize exceeding bewilderment.

In all that bewilderment, she slowly opens her mouth and asks:

"What kind of joke is this?"

—I don't understand.

Why would she say that after such a miracle?

"Why are you all gazing into space and crying?"

Yuuko is looking at the place where Reina-san was standing.

No, that's not quite accurate.

She is simply looking at the place where our gazes meet, with fear in her eyes.

"Sakura! Come to your senses! For crying out loud—"

"—Weren't you the first person to find her body?!"

Was I, now?

Aah, yes, I was.

I completely forgot about that because it doesn't matter.

Because of that, I also told her brother that I hadn't seen how Reina-san fell.

I mean, what of it?

Is that supposed to prove Reina-san's death, or something?

===4===

I was smiling from ear to ear and almost started skipping along.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu in the future."

Aah, she wasn't annoyed at me after all! Reina-san needs me!

Suddenly, I heard a scream.

I raised my head to look what was going on.

An instant passed.

In this instant...

A tragedy took place in front of me.

It—

It fell not with the elegance of cherry blossoms, but just like a heavy lump, following the laws of physics, and with a thump.

A warm liquid squirted around and stuck to my skin.

———

Time stopped.

No way.

This is a lie.

As a matter of act, my flow of time was in complete disarray, going faster and slower at random, and it felt much more unrealistic than a dream even ... at any rate, it was a lie.

After all, Reina-san had just told me to take care of her, which clearly was in conflict with the thing that just happened, and, aah, at any rate, this was a lie. What's the deal with ... this? Why did this, huh? I don't get it. At any rate, it was a lie, a lie, and a lie, so I silently laughed aloud.

The hideously deformed something that resembled Reina-san and yet was completely different stared at me.

It stared at me without doubt.

It stared at me with bloodshot eyes.

And it moved its lips and jerked its bloody red tongue.

"—D-O N-O-T F-O-R-G-E-T M-E."

Since there was no sound, I could not hear anything, but it certainly tried to form these words.

Something was clearly out of order. Something was a lie.

This something before me was clearly not Reina-san. After all, it was obviously filthier than anything I'd ever seen. Filthy = Reality? Reality? So it had nothing to do with Reina-san. This something could impossibly be Reina-san. Impossible.

Aah, where are you, Reina-san?

Where have you gone? Did you die? Did you disappear because this something stole your soul?

I don't understand.

I don't understand. However.

If I don't find the answer, Reina-san will disappear.

===5===

Neither Yuuko, nor Emi, nor the other people tried to stop us. We made it to the second of July without any trouble.

The only unexpected thing was that one of our companions stubborny claimed, "Reina-san did not say anything about assembling tomorrow at six o'clock!" It was unexpected, but I concluded that she didn't make it to our level and gave up on her.

We go again to the rooftop. Unlike yesterday, a gentle rain is falling, which is a shame but still better than seeing the moon, because the moon always follows us around.

Suddenly, I notice that somebody is sitting in front of the door to the rooftop. Did Yuuko not learn her lesson...? No, it's not her. It's not one of girls who fell through, either. Upon seeing me, the girl stands up.

"You're going to meet Reina-san, right?"

I recognize her voice.

"Oh, you're here as well?" she continues. "Didn't she turn you down?"

I see how Anna stiffens.

"What do you want, Mitsui-senpai?"

Yukimi Mitsui.

One of the servants who arrived at the knowledge of Reina-san's "presence."

"Do you want to join us? I'm sorry, but I haven't forgiven you even though you may be a servant of Reina-san's. I can't let you come with us."

"Join you just to meet Reina-san? Ha!" Yukimi Mitsui sneers. "I don't need your help for that."

"...What was that?"

"I'll be damned if I resort to your means," she laughs and steps aside. She continues in whispers, "I'm here to warn you."

"We don't need your warning."

"Don't misunderstand, okay? I don't care what happens to you, but if this is the last time we meet, I want to get it off my chest at least," she says and flashes a grin. "My worship of Reina-san and yours are as different as snow and ashes."

"...Well, I don't want to be thought hand in glove with you, either!"

"Huhu, is that so? Well, why don't you go ahead and meet your Reina-san? Bye then. We probably won't meet again."

"Goodbye," I say without even turning around to Yukimi Mitsui, who is waving her hand. After stroking Anna's hair gently, I walk up the stairs again, and—

—open the door.

A gentle rain is falling.

Reina-san is already waiting for us in the center of the rooftop.

Reina-san is waiting, smiling and without getting wet..

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Reina-san."

"Why, no, it was me who kept you waiting, Sakura."

I nod with a lopsided smile.

As the rain soaks our hair and clothes, we are reminded of our physical body through the unpleasant feeling. Sadly, this acid rain is filthy and thus can't wash us clean.

We need purification.

"We don't have much time, right? Please tell us how we can go to your world, Reina-san."

She nods. "It is simple. You just have to employ the same procedure as me."

The same procedure...

I recall the chalk line I examined together with Reina-san's brother.

"Do we have to jump...?"

Reina-san nods again.

"I know that it requires courage. I would like to use a different method as well, but there is none."

I look at the others.

They look at me.

They may not say so verbally, but their eyes are clearly telling me to take the lead. We are all afraid. Of course, we trust Reina-san, but we all know that the panic of falling and the pain of hitting the ground are things that cannot be avoided.

Indeed, I have to take the lead. I have to jump first and show them their way. Just like I have been doing so far.

However—

"I'm sorry, but I can't jump first."

Surprise and discontent appear on their faces.

"There is something I want to confirm at the end."

"Can you not do that now?" Anna asks and I nod in response.

She surveys me, then the bandage around her left wrist, and eventually smiles.

"Okay—I will jump first, then."

Surprised but impressed, we applaud to her.

"Anna ... thank you so much."

"No, you don't need to thank me ... It's an honor to be the first to go to Reina-san!"

I'm so proud of Anna. The source of her present strength may be weakness, but it's still strength.

Anna climbs on the fence in a somewhat clumsy manner and stands on top of it. She almost slips because the rain is getting stronger and thus making the fence slippery. Careful, Anna! Don't fall! Hm? Ah, stupid me. You will fall either way.

Anna stands upright atop the slippery fence and speaks straight ahead:

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

I can't see Anna's face because she's looking forward.

"I will never forget what you said to me yesterday. I was really happy when you said that you would always need me even if nobody else did."

Reina-san nods.

"My scar will disappear once I reach the other world, right?"

"Yes."

"...I'm so happy."

I'm moved.

Reina-san did a great job.

"I will always need you even if no one else does."

This is the very thing Anna wanted to hear the most.

It would sound false from anyone else's mouth, but if Reina-san says it, it's the truth.

But then—

—I don't think I remember Reina-san saying that?

"Sakura," Anna suddenly calls me, interrupting my thought process.

Anna is still looking forward, beyond the rain, so I still don't know what her face looks like.

"Yes, Anna?"

"—Thank you."

Her voice falls downward.

And is cut short.

Anna vanished and spoke simultaneously.

"Thank ... you...?"

Why?

Why would she thank me?

It's Reina-san who saved Anna, and it's Reina-san who will guide her to a better world. You probably can't even say that I bridged the gap between her and Reina-san.

Thank you ... words of gratitude.

But this makes it seem—as though I was the one who brought about this ceremony.

As I'm overcome with this strange confusion, my companions continue to jump one after the other. And before they jump and scatter, they all cite words that I don't remember hearing from Reina-san and give their thanks to me like Anna did.

Watching them makes me feel as though I were looking at artificial flowers that have withered.

Eventually, I end up alone with Reina-san.

The rain has gotten even fiercer. I might catch a cold, I think for a brief moment and sneer at myself.

I'm the last one.

"Kawai-san," the undrenched girl says. "What is it that you wanted to confirm?"

"Yes, there is something I wanted to ask you no matter what."

"Why did it have to be now, 'at the very end'?"

I look at the floor. A water drop drips down from my hair and enters my eye, making me feel filthy from the inside.

The reason why it had to be "at the very end."

It's—because I couldn't let the others hear it.

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

"It's so hard to explain and I don't know how to put this, but please bear with me."

"Who are you?"

Reina-san remains calm. She is still smiling.

"You're Reina Kamisu, of course, and that's the only way to call you. You are no doubt Reina Kamisu.

"But—you are not the Reina-san who played the piano, are you? You are someone else."

"...Why do you think so?"

"I was always fascinated by Reina-san, but she always made a somewhat strange impression on me. I don't know what it was, but I do not get that impression from you."

Reina-san silently listens to me.

"It's an ambiguous feeling. Perhaps, my memory is playing tricks on me because I haven't met you in a long time, but ... I doubt it."

"Why do you doubt it?"

"Because it's the former Reina-san who gave me that strange impression. If it was the other way around, it would make sense ... but ... as a matter of fact ... you feel way more genuine to me than the previous Reina-san. Isn't it strange that you feel more genuine now than before?"

The rain is getting stronger and I'm starting to get worried if my voice even reaches her.

"If," Reina-san starts. "If I am a different being than before, what will you do?"

"It doesn't matter," I respond without missing a beat. "You are Reina Kamisu. Nothing else."

"Yes," she nods. "I am Reina Kamisu, and nothing else," she says with her beautiful smile. "If you say so, may I tell you the truth?"

"Yes. My decision won't change."

I walk up to the fence and lean against it with my back. I don't even want to think about the sight down there.

"I am a phenomenon that becomes visible to those who believe in my existence."

"...A phenomenon?"

"To you and your friends, I am Reina Kamisu, because that is what you named me. If am given a different name, I adapt accordingly. For example, some call me 'god' and some call me an 'angel'. By being given a name, I take shape and become visible."

"...Do you lead the people who can 'see' you to another world?"

"This is the role you gave me."

"But I wasn't the only one who believed so," I argue.

"That is because you took the lead over them and defined my role for everyone. All I ever do is fulfill my purpose."

I defined her role?

It's true that I guided them to believe in Reina-san's "presence," but that's all I did. Reina-san is the one who is to do the rest and save us.

Right, I'm not to blame.

Not to blame?

What? What am I talking about? Blame? What blame? I only did the right thing and struggled to break free from this filth and didn't believe in Reina-san's death and, aah, yes, that filthy corpse wasn't Reina-san's. It wasn't hers, so I realized the truth and now I'm facing Reina-san in person and, aah, I was right from start to finish. Impressive! I didn't do too bad, did I?

"I ... I don't care anymore."

I climb on the fence.

Like Anna and the others, I stand upright and gaze straight ahead.

"You are Reina Kamisu."

"Yes, I am."

"You will save us from the filthy."

"Yes, I will."

"Please fulfill your role."

"Yes, I will fulfill my role."

There's no hesitation.

The others jumped down, too. I can't hesitate. It's too late. Wait, too late? For what? I do not need to hesitate anymore. The answer is clear, I only need to carry it out.

One question—

One question suddenly crosses my mind.

I was Reina-san's servant.

But why did I decide to obey her without a single doubt? What was so special about Reina-san?

Of course, she was beautiful. Of course, she felt different.

But ... that's no reason to obey her.

It makes me think.

Everyone admired Reina-san, everyone was captivated by her, so much that she belonged in the same category as "god" and "angels."

But where did that deification come from?

I mean—

—We don't know anything about Reina-san.

I stop thinking.

I won't turn around to her anymore.

I'll just look at her the same way as I always did.

I'll just project my idea of perfection on her and look upon her in a perfect light.

I step forward.

And as I do, I devote my last thoughts to her:

I ... we may have suffered a lot, but—

—she must have suffered just as much.

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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu|Chapter 4]]
|-
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</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui

2016-01-03T00:17:10Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* 3 */

==Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui==

===1===

Voices are like invisible razor blades to me.

We are all alone from birth to death, and even though we can't really understand each other we are still forced to associate all along the way. There are only two ways out: biological death or social death.

The world is brimming with people observing me, no matter where I escape.

And again, another day starts where I am forced to blend into a group.

I am suffocating, crammed into a tiny, narrow box, our classroom, together with various people who keep attacking me.

We're on a small break right now. Girls are noisy beings, and as such, even the high level of this school doesn't stop them from nattering away with their shrill voices. Female voices are—perhaps because they're higher than male voices—very sharp. Sharp like razorblades.

Laughter. Certainly not directed at me. But it sounds to me like they're sneering at me.

"Your face is a mess today, isn't it?", "Stop spreading bad mood," "Aren't her legs quite fat?", "She completely messed up that question there, didn't she? And she sucks at English, anyway," "Isn't something smelling funny here?" "I bet she's a slut," "Disgusting," "Gross," "Sickening."

They're not saying these things against me. They're not saying them against me. I'm not as odd as to be called such things.

But my imagination won't stop taking their voices as attacks against me.

Stop it! Don't talk in front of me!

"Stop being so noisy!"

A shout reverberates, shrouding the classroom in silence... with my voice.

Astonishment and some discontent for being yelled at without a reason shows on their faces. But as expected from Junseiwa students, not a single one of them shows any anger. Instead, they resume their conversations with quieter voices than before.

But it's not like they don't care. Deep inside, they must hate me; they must feel the urge to attack me.

And like this, I continue to get myself into a jam. In order not to get hurt, I isolate myself from others and keep everyone away. But by doing so, I also lose the chance to find someone who understands me and supports me, and I stay in the dark about what they think of me. As a result, anxiety keeps growing.

"She pisses me off!" someone groans and others laugh in response.

My body tenses up.

No, that wasn't directed at me. Please, be concise! It sounds to me like you said "That Mitsui bitch pisses me off." That's what it gets converted to in my head.

I cover my ears in a manner that doesn't get noticed, even though no one is looking at me. Why am I so sensitive? Why isn't everyone just gentle to me? I wish someone would appear who understands how delicate I am, but such a person does not exist. Instead, I am thought to be a rude and strong girl and keep being injured—be it wittingly or unwittingly—because they don't bother looking closer at me.

That's why I gaze at Reina Kamisu.

Today, she is talking with the members of Hashigami-san's group. Reina Kamisu, an exceptional girl, has pulled off the feat of not belonging to a group and still getting along with everyone. ...No, she's much more than just exceptional.

I know—no, everyone knows—that she would never hurt anyone. In other words, she wouldn't hurt me either.

Reina Kamisu is a girl who seems to made purely of ideals.

She, our image of "perfection," does not belong to anyone's group. She isn't biased. Reina Kamisu is always neutral toward anyone. Therefore, she wouldn't hurt anyone.

Reina Kamisu would not pull me up if I held out my hand; but she wouldn't shake off my hand either.

That's why I can gaze at her at ease.

Noticing my glance, she suddenly returns my look. I would have quickly averted my eyes had it been someone else, but if it's her, I don't have to fear anything and can keep up eye contact for a while.

Kamisu-san beautifully smiles at me.

Ah, she's so beautiful.

That was enough to make me feel vindicated.

All of a sudden—something stone-like forcibly enters my head.

It's a stone. If I shake my head, it rolls around inside and damages my brains. Quick, I have to get rid of it. Of what? Of the cause that made this happen.

The cause is—

...Huh? Why? Isn't she the only one who will never stand against me...? Yes, that's exactly what distinguishes her from everyone else.

She may be different, but I don't care. The problem is that something about her is being detected by me as a stone, as "harm".

Why—?

I look at her again.

She is still smiling beautifully at me.

===2===

"Who do you think you are?"

A few days after I started feeling something bizarre about Reina Kamisu, I was suddenly approached on the corridor during lunch break. The girl who approached me didn't show the least of restraint and just blocked my way, seething with irritation.

An attacker. There's no doubting it.

However, the attacker isn't one of my classmates, who must have accumulated frustration against me, but a freshman named Sakura Kawai.

"Hah? Careful what you say now!"

If it's a real attack and not just my delusions, I can counter to my heart's content and ensure that the attacker will stop in the future.

I can fight. Even though I might get hurt in the process.

Sakura Kawai, however, doesn't wince. "I know about the dirty look you're giving Reina-san!"

"Filthy look? What are you talking about?"

"I think I expressed myself clearly enough! I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

"Jealous?"

She's right in that I often look at Kamisu-san. I have been watching her even more these days because I wanted to find out the cause for what's bothering me about her, in addition to my urge to be vindicated, but she couldn't be farther off by calling this jealousy.

"Know your place, okay? Even if you're the student council president, you're still younger than me. Don't you think you're a bit insolent?" I argue.

"I don't wish to be rude toward an upperclassman, either, but there are things that I just can't let pass."

"Things you can't let pass? And that would be me, or what?"

"Yes! Just think about it. Reina-san is a wonderful person. I have so much respect for her, she's my inspiration".

Ah, so Sakura Kawai is one of them. It's obvious looking how she follows Kamisu-san around everywhere: Sakura Kawai is a firm "believer" of Reina Kamisu.

The number of Reina Kamisu's "believers" at this school is everything but small. No, you could say they're the majority.

It might be a nasty comparison, but if one were to compare Reina Kamisu's charisma with poisonous gas, the gas would be so strong that breathing in 0.1mg would be enough to kill a person with a likelihood of 99.999%. If released in a town, the whole town would die out. In addition, the virulence would be extremely high as well; just touching an infected person would get you killed.

I'm exaggerating? Perhaps. But anyone close to her would unanimously nod at this comparison.

Anyway. Being locked into this closed environment, Reina Kamisu is fulfilling and corroding the school without leaving out a gap.

What's the obvious consequence?

Reina Kamisu attains an absolute status within this small community. As a matter of fact, she is the law and driving force at the Junseiwa School.

"I... no, we won't let you get through with this! Scowling on Reina-san... Aah, I'm disgusted just by thinking of it! Anyway, we won't let you look down at Reina-san! No one can deny her. What makes you think that someone as petty as you could?"

"...What did you just say?! Besides, you're completely wrong. I'm not looking down at her at all."

"I'm not deceived that easily!"

"But you're really wrong!"

"Cut out those lies!"

It's no use. This girl won't listen no matter what I say. She is already firmly convinced that I'm looking down on Kamisu-san.

But that's not true; I have great respect for her as well. After all, I'm just another member of this small, closed community.

Therefore, I'm not looking at Kamisu-san with scorn.

—Unless the odd thing I'm feeling about her is of a negative nature.

"...Look, it seems like you know what I'm talking about," Sakura Kawai reproaches me with conviction, apparently having noticed the slight doubts that showed on my face.

"...It's a misunderstanding!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Just apologize and swear to keep your eyes away from her!"

My patience is wearing thin. Who does she thin she is? She means nothing to Kamisu-san; it's not like she's her family or even just a friend of hers.

"Hmph! Even if I did scorn her, what of it? I wouldn't be bothering anyone with it, would I?"

"What did you just say...?"

"If someone is bothering Kamisu-san, then it's certainly not me, but you guys who stick to her like fish shit!"

"W-What?!"

Sakura Kawai's face turns red like a tomato.

—Oh no.

She isn't the type of attacker who gets afraid and stops attacking. I knew that and should have retreated at the right time, but I accidentally continued to hold against her.

And right now, I rubbed her the exact wrong way.

It's too late. She's going to keep attacking me, keep hurting me.

And on top of that—

I got too worked up and forgot who she is.

"...I went too far," I say apologetically, but my words don't reach her. She isn't open to apologizes anymore.

"...you scoffed at us."

Plural.

Right, this attacker is—the student council president.

"I will not forgive you for this..."

Her wailing before was a thousand times better than this. Now there is a deep, hateful tone in her voice that gives her hatred a firm shape.

Ah, it's over.

Up until now, I've simply been reacting over-sensitively to ambiguous remarks, interpreting them as attacks against me. Of course, some of those remarks must have been really directed at me, since I'm the type of person who makes herself a lot of enemies. However, in the majority of cases, it was just my overreacting that got me hurt.

But this is going to change now. I'm going to be under fire from all sides for real.

"She's making me angry," "What an insolent bitch," "Get out of here," "Piss off," "Go die in a fire," "Go west," "Die."

I'm going to really get such insults; after all, this attacker right before my eyes is the student council president. She's the second most powerful person here. If Sakura Kawai openly announces that she won't forgive me, then the number of attackers will grow. She does have the authority and the social network to do just that.

To make matters worse, Reina Kamisu's "believers" have uniform beliefs. If one of the central authorities like Sakura Kawai says that she won't forgive me, then the other "believers" are bound to share her will.

Inside this closed environment, it is an absolute taboo to get on the wrong side of Sakura Kawai.

Reina Kamisu treats everyone equally, but her followers can't emulate her deeds. Jesus Christ said that if someone slapped you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also, and yet the believers kept waging war. That's how it works. Sakura Kawai has the power that it takes to unite everyone against me under the pretext of protecting Reina Kamisu.

She is aware of that, too, and that's why she was able to act so bold against an upperclassman like me.

"...I'm sorry."

However, as expected, my apology only adds fuel to the flames.

"...Prepare yourself! I will teach you that there is no place for you in this school anymore," Sakura Kawai proclaimed.

That's not a threat. It's a decided fact.

In a few days from now—I will have no place anymore.

Once I got home, I shut myself into my room, plunked into my semi-double bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

"Aah..."

It's over... I can't take this anymore...

This place was a painful, exit-less box to begin with, but now I'm going to be lynched by everyone on top of it; even though all I want is not to be attacked, not to be hurt.

That's just horrible: If striking back in order to protect myself angered the other party so much that she now unites everyone against me, then what should I have done instead?

I don't know the answer, but I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this; that someday, someone would hate me for good and initiate an organized attack against me. At the very least, I had deemed it more probably than North Korea making an onslaught on Japan.

...I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this?

But that means that I didn't have a chance to begin with.

Fuck! Fuck! Are you kidding me?! Why does nobody treat me gently?! Why does nobody understand me?!

No, that's wrong... It's all my fault... I know, I know!

As I continue this pointless and endless train of thought, I clutch at my pillow so hard that it almost bursts.

Goddammit!

Knock, knock, goes my door all of a sudden. It must be my sister judging from the sound pattern.

"What?" I ask bluntly toward the door.

The door opens and my little sister, Yoshino, enters the room. "Um..." she mutters reluctantly as I scowl at her, still lying on my bed.

"Get the fuck out of here if you've got no business!" I shout, turning my frustration at my weak sister who is 3 years younger than me. As always.

"I-I am sorry..." she apologizes despite not being at fault.

A thought suddenly crosses my mind as I gaze at my downhearted sister: she will certainly lose all her self-confidence because of me and become a dejected person.

I'm sorry for that. But I'm not in an easy situation either, so it can't be helped, can it?

"So, what is it?" I ask again.

"Um, someone has come over to see you..."

"Someone...?"

Sakura Kawai crosses my mind.

Was she not satisfied with attacking me just at school? That's absurd... but I haven't made myself any friends that would go out of their way to come over here. So... it's well possible that Sakura Kawai is already done preparing her attack on me and has come here.

No... Please not! Don't torment me any more than this!

"...Onee-chan... quick..."

"I know! Just shut up!" Yoshino winces again at my sharp voice.

Yes, that's right! It's Yoshino's fault. I've only gotten myself into this situation because her lack of resistance gradually made more offensive!

While casting the blame on others in my head, I push Yoshino aside with my right hand and walk to the entrance.

What am I going to do? How am I going to handle this situation? I can no longer defend myself by attacking, that's for sure, but I don't know any other way. I'm not deft enough to ward off an attack. I'm the type of person who deliberately gets hit by a bullet in fear of the gunshot that would follow; that's why I have to take care of the attacker before she can fire a bullet no matter what!

Full with despair, I open the door and look the the visitor.

Time stopped.

"—Huh?"

I unwittingly react with the clichéd act of rubbing my eyes in disbelief and look once more at her.

"Hello," she says. With an absurdly beautiful smile.

"—Kamisu-san?"

"Please excuse my sudden visit, Mitsui-san. I take it that I must have surprised you?"

"I don't mind... but what brings you here?"

I try guessing her reason to visit me... but I fail to come up with anything plausible.

Kamisu-san treats everybody equally.

Of course, in her eyes I'm just another equal person. Therefore, there is no reason why should would come visit me.

However, as a matter of fact, she stands right before me, smiling.

"Would you be so kind as to let me in? While I do not mind talking right here, I am sure that you had rather take a seat and not have your family hear our conversation."

"Y-Yes..." I say, left with no other choice but to approve. While her way of speaking is incredibly polite, she doesn't seem to tolerate any dissent.

"..."

What is there to get so flustered about? Cool down: a classmate has come over to my place, that's all.

However—

Everyone who knows Reina Kamisu—or has just caught a glimpse of her at some point—will inevitably think the following: there must be a reason of utmost importance for her visiting me. A reason deeper than the reason of life itself.

I lead Kamisu-san to my room. Her every movement seems so harmonized that looking at her from this short distance disrupts the rhythm of my own heartbeat, making it pound randomly. As I wonder how many millions of yen one would make by selling her beautiful black hair to a jeweler, I let her into my room.

"What a lovely room," she praises me with a sincere smile, gently satisfying the pride I have in my room layout. She managed to stir me just by praising me.

I ask her to take a seat on my precious red sofa. She accepts my offer politely and sits down in a manner just as beautiful. For a while, we talk about my room, until Yoshino comes in and brings us some black tea in stead of my absent parents. Confronted with Kamisu-san's beautiful face, however, Yoshino gets startled and blushes as Kamisu-san gives her a smile.

After waiting for Yoshino to leave and taking a sip of the black tea, Kamisu-san says with a smile:

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

While attempting to calm down my racing heart, I look closely at Kamisu-san but fail to read anything off her mild expression.

"I know about the filthy look you're giving Reina-san!"

I start to ponder. If Sakura Kawai's complaint is the general consensus and not just a result of her deluded mind, then it would be highly probable that Kamisu-san feels offended by my gaze as well.

What if the will to harm me lies hidden beneath her perfectly adorned smile? No, that's not a "what if".

Kamisu-san came over to my place. Why? Simple.

To attack me.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," she says, probably to a certain degree guessing my internal train of thought.

She might be lying, I apprehend but the fact that it's "Reina Kamisu" who is saying it makes me calm down anyway.

"I am just curious to know what causes you to watch me like that."

"Did you come all the way here just to ask this...?"

"Among other things, yes," she nods.

"Why didn't you approach me at school...?"

In response to my question, she puts on a wry smile and replies, "You know Sakura-san, do you not? Certainly she would not be eager to see a conversation conducted between the two of us."

I see, she's right. Sakura Kawai is always hovering over her; it makes sense that she would have gotten wind of our conflict today.

"I do see where you are coming from, Kamisu-san... but I'm fairly sure that I'm not the only one watching you. What makes my case so special to you?"

"Yes, there are a lot of people who are watching me, but while those gazes might strike others as 'strange,' they are actually fairly common for me. For instance, I am very used to being approached like I was by your sister before."

I think I see her point. The looks Sakura Kawai gives her might be abnormal seen from others, but as someone exposed to them on a daily basis, they become ordinary and lose their abnormity.

"So... in other words, you are saying that the way I'm looking at you is odd even on top of that?"

"Yes, I suppose you can put it that way."

"OK, let me be blunt: are you troubled if I watch you?"

With an unchangingly mild expression, Kamisu-san shakes her head. "As I said, that is not my intent. In fact, the reason why I am here is probably the exact opposite of what you think it is."

"...The reason I think?"

"I do not intend to 'attack' you."

"Eh...?"

—Did she just say 'attack'?

Sure, I always and everywhere feel attacked, but most of that is just me picking up random sentences and interpreting them as attacks. No one other than me can possibly know about it

And yet—Kamisu-san clearly and readily said 'attack'.

"I know that Sakura-san is about to proceed against you. Therefore, I feared that you might fall into the mistaken belief that everyone is now set against you."

Ah, I see... Silly me, I just got ahead of myself. It's not at all surprising that she would use the term 'attack'; the 'attacks' I used to imagine to myself are becoming real starting today, after all.

In other words, my gut feeling that Kamisu-san has known all along that I'm hurt is nothing but an misconception.

...just a misconception.

"I am sure that it would be very sad and tough to consider yourself threatened by everyone. If, by any chance, there are other people joining Sakura-san in attacking you, then it will merely be a temporary trend. Neither will those attacks continue forever, nor should you care about them. I have come here to tell you this."

"...But knowing that doesn't make it any less painful when everyone denies me."

"All right, I promise."

"What do you mean...?"

"I promise to stay on your side."

Huh—?

I find myself awfully confused; after all, it's Reina Kamisu. The person who treats everyone as equals. What would prompt her to become my ally of all people...?

"Although I am sure that is no comfort to you..."

"But yes! Of course I couldn't be happier—"

—but why me? I think but I am unable to add this question.

"That is a relief. Ah... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

"Your question...?"

"I was wondering why you are watching me."

"T-There's not—" I stutter as I give it some thought myself.

That feeling I've been having toward Kamisu-san is not admiration for her beauty or wits, or anything else positive. If the looks I've been giving her bore a positive connotation, then Kamisu-san wouldn't take special heed of them and call them "odd", since she's used to positive glances.

Therefore, I suppose there is ill will in my glance, and that's also why Sakura Kawai took action against me.

"—There's not much to it... at least I can't put my finger on it."

As a consequence, I couldn't give her an honest answer even if I were able to put that feeling into words.

"You do not not know, either... I understand," she says, and then she smiles. As though that question never happened. "All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

We stand up and go to the entrance. Even something as mundane as putting on one's shoes turns into a captivating ceremony if done by Kamisu-san.

And even after talking so much, that strange feeling I've been having toward her hasn't disappeared.

No, if anything—

"Well then, goodbye Mitsui-san."

"Yeah, see your tomorrow at school."

After waving at me once, Kamisu-san disappears on the other side of the door.

"..."

On the other side. Yes, she and I, we stand on opposite shores and live in different worlds.

There's one thing that keeps me thinking: if there really is ill will in my glances, and if even Sakura Kawai noticed that ill will, then is it at all possible that someone as intelligent as Reina Kamisu would not notice, despite being directly concerned?

But then, why would she so clearly suggest to remain on my side whatever happens? How can she promise to support me, not to do any harm to me, when she noticed that I'm an attacker to her?

At the very least, I couldn't do that in her position. No... we couldn't do that.

"Hey, Yoshino?" I ask my sister who has been sneaking peeks at Kamisu-san.

"W-What is it, Onee-chan?" she says, wincing in fear of being reproached for her watching us.

"I'm not angry. I just wanted to hear your opinion on the girl that just was here."

"Ah, okay..."

"Yoshino. What impression did she make on you?"

Unsure what kind of answer I'm expecting of her, she only groans, "Um..."

"Don't worry; just tell me your first impression."

"O-Okay... I thought that she is pretty."

"...Well, fair enough."

It's a perfectly valid opinion—and probably the only thing she can say because she's afraid of offending anyone.

However, against my expectations, Yoshino wasn't done yet.

"So pretty that I can't believe she's human."

And thanks to that remark—I finally recognized why I felt like chewing on aluminum when seeing Reina Kamisu.

===3===

Sakura Kawai acted faster than expected—two days after our confrontation, there were only enemies around me.

Thrown into the slicing and piercing machinery that is our classroom during lunch break, only wearing standard clothes instead of an armor or a shield, I keep showering blows from all sides.

People are strong in groups. Naturally.

In reality, there are very few people who can defend themselves like heroes who swipe away hostile troops on the TV.  If the attacks are not of physical but of mental nature, however, then there is nothing you can do about it. You have to swallow the collective attacks.

Exclusion, blatant slander, mockery, dirty looks... much more than it is sly bullying, you might say that there is a law here that works toward excluding me; as a consequence of everyone denying me, the place is filled with a mood that stimulates further denial and that keeps tormenting me. Children and girls tend to be very sensitive to such peer pressure, and what I fear most is that I end up being led into denying myself by that air.

That is the law that Sakura Kawai has set in the Junseiwa School.

I keep being cut into pieces on the chopping board.

Chop, chop, chop.

Until yesterday, I would have probably already given up fighting back and instead decided to live with it.

However—

I look at Kamisu-san. Noticing my glance, she smiles at me.

She's my ally. An ally who does absolutely not reach out to me.

I do have a goal now. A strong aim is barely holding me together like glue, keeping me from breaking into pieces.

It's time to carry out—my experiment.

People are strong in groups.

However, that is a result of the group being strong as a whole. It doesn't imply that the individual members are strong. Therefore, not all members are as strong as Sakura Kawai when they are not with the rest of their group.

I'm a sheep. I'm the prey, not the wolf. But as long as we're among sheep, it should be possible even for me to attack other weak sheep who strayed from the pack.

"Haha..."

I may be only armed with a rusty paper knife that can't even cut paper anymore, but it still acts as a good weapon against a sheep that is completely unarmed.

I enter the corridor. "Isn't she creepy?" an underclassman says with her finger pointed at me. Her friends agree. Ah, I think I've seen her before. She's a member of the student council, which has degenerated to Reina Kamisu's personal protection force. I think her name was "Fuyuki"?

All right. I found my sheep.

"Hey you, you are making fun of me, aren't you?"

I press the sheep against the wall of the restroom. The lunch break is already over and classes have started. However, there are only special purpose rooms in the vicinity of this restroom, and these are all empty right now.

"W-What do you want from me?! Stop it please!"

As expected: she's not a predator but prey.

She's trying to appear firm because it's me, but alas, her eyes are giving away that she's scared and only add fuel to my urge to trouble her.

I'm good at finding this kind of person. After all, I'm talking with Yoshino every day.

"Is it fun mocking me before my eyes?"

"Stop it...! Let go of me!" she shouts, struggling with a pale face to break free instead of replying. Her resistance is weak, however, because she fears to anger me. "I-If you do me any harm, y-you will be treated even wor—"

Ah, look, this is a characteristic for prey: they immediately rely on others. They don't even try to find a solution by themselves.

"I don't care. Attacking me some more or some less won't make a difference."

But I crush her hope right away.

"D-Don't put on airs—EEK!"

I slap her face. It didn't put in much strength; there's no way she could get hurt by my rusty paper knife.

However, the fact that I used actual violence finished her off.

"How about an apologize first?"

The ashen sheep nods pathetically and repeats, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Now she can't defy me anymore. That was easier than I thought.

"Look, I don't mean to hurt you or to vent of my anger on you."

Fuyuki-san nods repeatedly, although I don't know if she's really listening.

"In fact, I'm actually trying to make your dream come true."

"...my...dream?" she asks confusedly.

"Yes. You're in the student council, right?"

"...Y-Yes... I'm the secretary."

"But in truth, the student council is just the fan club of Reina Kamisu, isn't it? Sakura Kawai being the prime example."

Fuyuki-san moves her head in an awkward way that could be taken both as nodding and as shaking.

"Don't dare deny it!"

"Y-Yes... it is true that we all have great respect for Reina-san..."

Hmph, I sneer and grab her chin. A short shriek escapes her lips because of the sudden touch, proving that she's even more scared.

"And so do you, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

My mouth distorts to a grin.

"If that's the case, then you surely wish for her to be all yours, right?"

Her eyes open widely.

"What? Why do you react like this?!"

"U-Um... I'm not seeing Reina-san in that light... like, I don't want her to be my lover or anything, you know..."

I think I know what Fuyuki-san is getting at. Reina Kamisu is far, far beyond anyone's reach and seems to be impossible to capture. She's just too grand to be deal with as a common person. Even if, purely hypothetically, someone were to win her heart, the law of exclusion would work even harder against that person than it does work against me. That person would be constantly attacked by everyone; and maybe even driven into death.

That's how hard it is to "capture" Reina Kamisu.

Besides, Reina Kamisu is not someone to make a relationship with, but someone to admire; one might be inclined to keep her near oneself for that purpose, but considering the effort required to maintain that state, it is much better to watch her from afar. Likewise, it's much better to watch elephants in a zoo rather than trying to keep it as a pet in a small house.

So, I'm sure Fuyuki-san is being honest with me. However—

"You. Surely. Wish. For. Her. To. Be. All. Yours. Right?"

—I don't care.

I press her chin a bit harder as I repeat my question word by word, all the while scowling right in her eyes.

"—Uh..."

She clearly thinks otherwise, but I've threatened her enough to keep her from disagreeing with me.

"You can't tell me that you have no such desire whatsoever?"

"—Uuh..."

Right. Somewhere, Fuyuki-san, too, feels the desire to keep Reina Kamisu near her.

People like Fuyuki-san, who were pampered all through their lives, tend to be very bad at telling lies. As a result, she has trouble denying my claim that has a grain of truth in it, all the more because she's scared on top of that.

"Hehe... I'll help you," I say with a distorted smile as I let go of her chin.

"...Help me with what...?" she asks anxiously.

"Hm? Isn't it obvious?"

I clearly state my intent.

"—With your love confession."

I'm very sorry, but you can emit as much despair as you want, I'm not going to change my plans.

But I know for certain that you won't escape. Not because you're so scared of me. You've been craving for this, haven't you? For an excuse to confess your love to Reina Kamisu; for a permit that frees you of all blame in the improbable case that you win her over.

—For that bewitching masterpiece that is going to ruin you.

After school, I asked Kamisu-san to follow me to the back of the gym, which is the—admittedly cliched—place I'd chosen for the confession to take place. While I was talking with her, the other girls around her kept frowning at me with blatant hostility.

Needless to say, their hostile attitude hurt me, but fortunately, my goal is of much higher importance to me right now, so I don't have time to think about the pain... but I'm sure that this scratch is going to open once I'm back home, turning into a gaping wound.

Kamisu-san's surroundings urged her not to listen to the request of someone they had deemed a dangerous person, but she adhered to her promise of being my ally (for now), and followed me.

Perfect, looks like I can conduct my experiment.

"Mitsui-san?" Kamisu-san asks as we walk. "Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it."

"I see... I thought that you wanted to consult me about a way to improve the situation."

"Would we find a solution? After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

"..."

She has a point. Most likely, those superficial feelings wouldn't persist long when the general mood changed.

...But then again, is their hatred against me superficial? Isn't it possible that I have made myself those enemies before this incident and was only left alone because their hostility hasn't been united? Judging from the speed at which they assembled, they must have taken issue with me outside the incident with Sakura Kawai.

"Besides—" Kamisu-san continues, seeing that I'm at a loss for words.

"—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

That she says with stunning ease; and it's nothing but a truth.

She does have the power to do just that.

Actually, I wanted to discuss this matter some more, but we reached the back of the gym where Fuyuki-san is already waiting. On noticing her, Kamisu-san gives me a brief look. She remains silent, but I'm sure she has grasped the situation.

I scowl at Fuyuki-san so that she won't give in to her nervousness and escape. Kamisu-san seems to have noticed, but she doesn't say anything—as I expected.

"Sorry for... calling you out to such a place," Fuyuki-san says reluctantly.

"No, I do not mind at all," Kamisu-san replies in a casual manner. Apparently, they know each other pretty well, since she's a member of the student council.

"Um... Reina-san."

"Yes?" Kamisu-san asks with a friendly voice and expression.

After much wavering and hesitating Fuyuki-san then eventually said:

".........I love you."

She must have drafted a much longer confession than that—with adornments and pretty clauses, with reasons and excuses; her head must have been full of them—but in the end, those were the only words she could muster in the face of Kamisu-san.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Those are words of courage, of sincerity. No matter if it was a forced confession or not, the underlying feelings are real.

In response to that—

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

—Kamisu-san smiled sadly.

"Gh..." Fuyuki-san groans as she drops her gaze. "...Thank you...for your time..." she mutters in a hardly audible voice and ran off without raising her face once.

Out of the corner of my eye, I observe Kamisu-san looking after her.

—It's just as I thought.

"Mitsui-san?" she says after directing her eyes at me.

"...Yes?"

"Why did you force her to confess to me?"

"Ah, you noticed?"

"That I did," she says. "Fuyuki-san is... not someone who would confess of her own."

"I only gave her a little push because she didn't seem to have the courage!"

"What is it that you wanted to observe about me, taking advantage of her?"

That's Reina Kamisu for you; she can easily see through all my intentions. Hahaha.

"Also—"

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

Right, you also noticed that, didn't you?

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"That's what I wanted to hear. You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment."

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

Even after I said so, her expression hardly changed. Probably—because she did not know how to.

"...No soul? What do you mean?" she asks.

"Oh come on... Kamisu-san, you're just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Reina Kamisu puts on a wry smile.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real," I explain.

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?" I ask.

"I do."

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

Kamisu-san remains silent, probably feeling forced to acknowledge my point.

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things... no?"

"Over-interpreting, you say? No, not at all. You couldn't care less about others. Whether I hate you or not, whether Fuyuki-san and Sakura Kawai idolize you or not, you simply do not care. Right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to treat everyone as equals."

"...I never intended to treat everyone equally to begin with."

"That's a flat out lie. You're perfect. Everyone will react the same when they see you: admiring your beauty and deeming you perfect. That's how everyone views you."

"You are exaggerating!"

"Oh, don't give me that. You're prefect, absolutely perfect, and in order to maintain that state, you abandoned your content; your soul. You realized that it's the soul that makes us all decompose physically and mentally! You do not deeply socializing with anyone, and if someone gives in to the temptation and comes too close to you, you bite them and corrode them with the perfectness that is you, propagating it in the process. That's how you maintain your state of perfectness."

"...You seem to have lost touch with reality, Mitsui-san... I admit that I might have a certain tendency to lack interest in other people, but that is all there is to it."

"No."

"Mitsui-san..."

"I mean, just look at all the power you have gained already. Who else apart from me at this school is not your subordinate?" I ask.

"That is exactly what I meant by 'over-interpreting.' Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

"They would."

"..."

Even Kamisu-san is left speechless in front of my straight answer; but surely not because she thinks I'm crazy, but because she doesn't know how to counter my argument.

After all, someone like Sakura Kawai would readily follow an order as simple as 'commit suicide,' and Kamisu-san is aware of that.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

===4===

I may have acted too carelessly.

Not only was I seen together with Fuyuki-san and when taking Kamisu-san to the back of the gym, I also disregarded the fact that Fuyuki-san is a member of the student council.

Therefore, this situation is not at all surprising. It's just that I was too occupied with Reina Kamisu and the disconcerting feeling I had.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

With these words, Sakura Kawai presses the club she is holding up against my nose. Ironically, they have taken me to the same place as I forced Fuyuki-san to confess: the back of the gym.

I am unable to oppose her; the pain from the stun gun they used on me when carrying me off has broken my will to resist.

The several students surrounding me are looking down at me with blatant hostility. Fuyuki-san is not among them. So she can't stay on the side of the predators after all... looks like Yoshino isn't going to resist me anytime soon, I think to myself, knowing well how awful that thought is.

"Do you really want to beat me with that thing? You do realize that you'll get yourself thrown out of school?" I counter with my remaining spirit. My rusty paper knife has long since broken, however, and can't even scratch them anymore.

"Only if I'm found out," she says with a distorted smile. "I don't think that will happen, though."

"Yeah, I see that you've made sure to have some of your subordinates keep watch. But... what if I tell someone?"

"I'll just have to prevent that, no?" she replies.

With a dirty smile, the girl standing next to Sakura Kawai produces a digital camera.

"...What are you going to do with this camera?"

"I heard your grandfather is quite the big wig in the Mitsui Group, Mitsui-senpai. Oh, but I also heard that your father was so busy gaining your grandfather's favor that he blew it with his wife and daughter of the big wig so much that he ended up moving out."

"Why do you know this...?"

"Your family is of such influence that a divorce is out of question. Don't you think that there is a market for naughty pictures of a young girl that belongs to such a remarkably influential family?"

"...Are you serious?"

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that question?" she answers coldly.

This can't be... real. I never thought something unhuman like this could occur outside of fiction. Even if there is some war with countless people dying, that doesn't directly affect me and the world I live in. The attacks that I am supposed to face are slander and pranks, and that alone was enough to inflict deadly damage on me...

But as a matter of fact, the bunch around me have already used a stun gun on me, and they are armed with a knife, a club and a digital camera.

Sakura Kawai scowls at me and asks, "Where is it going to be?"

"...What?"

"I asked you where you want your first blow!" she suddenly roars and kicks me in the stomach.

"Ugh..."

It hurts.

It hurts horribly.

It hurts incredibly.

This is... violence.

I always felt like I were in a small box, and I felt agonized by the people that were crammed into that box along with me. I hated that box. But in truth, I was protected by that box. Outside of it, I would have been beaten up and died in an instant.

But then where can I live in peace?

Nowhere, I'm sure. A weak person like me will be attacked and killed wherever she is.

I don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

"My head," I say bluntly.

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Apparently, she took this as a provocation; Sakura Kawai became red with anger. Oh my god, she's going to club my head for real, even though she won't get away with it if I die...

And so she raised the club and—

"What are you doing there?"

—stopped on the spot.

I look at the beautiful savior of my life.

"Kamisu...san..." I mutter.

Sakura Kawai takes the club down for the time being and gives Kamisu-san a troubled look: "Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!" Sakura Kawai shouts with a fire-red face, only to be looked at by Kamisu-san in a calm manner.

"If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's...because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," Kamisu-san repeats with a slightly stronger tone.

Sakura Kawai looks at Kamisu-san, after which she catches a glimpse of me just to return her gaze to Kamisu-san.

"......OK..." she eventually says, sulking like a scolded child.

Having heard that, her colleagues exchange glances and traipse after her as she leaves with a downhearted face.

Aah, what a non-independent bunch. They should all just die.

And like that, the two of us ended up in the same setup as the day before.

"Why... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

That was a superfluous question.

As a proof, Kamisu-san is smiling as she answers it:

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human."

"Hahaha..."

Incredibly. She's perfect.

She really does not have any interest in anyone. She doesn't give a damn about my view of her.

"...By the way, does that mean that you acknowledge what I said yesterday?"

Kamisu-san smiles wordlessly in response to my question.

Ah... her smile is so beautiful.

"Not human and soulless, huh...," I unwittingly mutter.

"I'm so jealous."

Kamisu-san gives me a slightly surprised glance upon hearing that mutter, "Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I can—do without a soul."

Suddenly, something Sakura Kawai had told me crosses my mind.

"I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

Heh, so in the end, she was right all along.

I was jealous.

I envied Reina Kamisu for not being hurt by anyone's words.

"I can't recover from this blow."

I'm done for. Sakura Kawai may have been stopped, but that only means that all that negative energy has not been vented; I will continue to bathe in her and her group's resentment, hurting myself, taking damage, driven into a corner.

It's June right now; that means that there's more than half a year until graduation. All the while until then, I will continue to be attacked, and once I've graduated, I may be released from them but new attackers will appear in their places. The attacks themselves won't stop—the person executing them will simply change.

Now and forever—as long as I am who I am—I will keep throwing myself into the spears others have thrown at someone else, getting hurt in the process, and attacking them myself until they really aim their spears at no one else but me.

This is how I'm done for.

If that is what makes me human, if that means that I have a soul—

—then I can well do without this... rotten soul.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

That's an honest wish of mine, and in response to that heartfelt mutter, Reina Kamisu—

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

—laughed.

"Huh...?"

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

That's not it. I wasn't surprised by her offer.

Did Reina Kamisu just... laugh?

She was always smiling; not because she seemed delighted or amused or anything like that, however, but because smiling is her neutral expression.

I think this is the first time I've seen her expressing real emotion.

The way she laughed was of course beautiful too. Beautiful indeed... but something about it struck me as incongruous, unbalanced, and filled me with disgust. Although I can't put my finger on what that is.

However, I decide to forget my misgivings for now and ask her about her offer instead.

"It's easy to erase one's soul...?"

"Yes, it is easy to do what you would define as 'erasing one's soul.' You just have to drop all your interest in others, and that can be done easily."

"That's... absurd."

However, Kamisu-san does absolutely not look like she's joking. And—she looks like she could do that any moment.

"But do you not agree that if, for the sake of argument, you lost all your five senses, you would not even be able to take an interest in others, since you could not feel anything?"

"Well, yeah, but I think that's a really grotesque example..."

"Yes, but I am still right, no?" she laughs and continues:

"I will help you get there!"

After that, Kamisu-san took me to an empty music room. Apparently, she was entrusted with the keys because she practiced the piano every day there—a feat that only someone as esteemed as she can accomplish.

In the end, she disappeared somewhere, saying, "Concentrate on your surroundings."

While getting sinister looks from Beethoven and his composer colleagues, I ponder about the meaning of her words. Concentrate? What on earth is she scheming? There's no way a "human" could do something like erasing someone's soul...

Or do you want to tell me that Reina Kamisu is unhuman for real and not just metaphorically?

Yesterday she evaded the argument, but I got the impression that today she was kind of admitting that she does not care about others. And she "laughed."

What is the meaning of this... what is the meaning of her revealing her true face only to me? Isn't there perhaps—a really grave meaning behind all this?

Why... why am I here, all alone?

Because Kamisu-san took me here, of course.

Hey... What if the thing I discovered was something that Reina Kamisu wanted to keep secret no matter what? What if she was perfectly aware of the reason for my looks when she came over to my place? What if she only pretended to be my ally in order to observe me? What if she was deliberately controlling Sakura Kawai and the others with a certain goal in mind? What is she's really not human?

If all that is true, then—

—she's going to erase my soul.

I feel like Beethoven and Mozart and Händel and Kosaku Yamada are laughing at me. Do their pictures perhaps have a soul, considering that their eyeballs are said to move in every list of school wonders? Maybe they are hurt whenever we call them "scary" or insult their haircuts, and avenge themselves by moving their eyes?

Please, don't look at me. I'm much, much easier hurt than you guys, since I still have a body.

Perhaps Reina Kamisu is controlling them in order to take my soul somewhere? Maybe. I feel it wouldn't be impossible to her.

All of a sudden—I heard several screams outside.

Curious as to what is going on, I look out of the window. I should have acted with more care; because then I would have easily noticed that Kamisu-san's order to concentrate on my surroundings was referring to nothing else but those screams. I was acting exactly as she wanted me to, digging my own grave.

I opened the window.

And then—my soul was erased.

"—Haha..."

I see now.

So that was your plan.

"Hahaha..."

Reina Kamisu tore my soul out of my body and took it with her.

That must have been her goal at this school; and she is going to continue collecting others' souls to return to her real form.

Right? I ask the person before my eyes.

—She responds with an upside down smile.

Others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others.

Hey all of you, is there a reason why you exist? Do your words bear any meaning when you are all destined to be harvested by Reina Kamisu? Of course not. Your lives have no meaning at all. You, too, are crammed in little boxes where you hurt others and get hurt by others. Your Reina Kamisu's subordinates, her servants, her slaves. We're all of no import whatsoever. Meaningless humans.

There's no reason why I should listen to what other worthless people say.

Reina Kamisu is right in every possible way. Only her own words are of substance, and that's why everyone around her was meaningless to her.

Yeah, that's right.

That's the truth.

Right?

And there she goes—there she falls.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Plomp. And as the screams grew even louder—

—I lost all my feelings for good.

===5===

It's June.

As I stand protected under an umbrella, I ponder where the rain, which shows no sign of stopping, is headed—while gazing at the white outlines of a person that have been drawn on the concrete ground near the sakura trees.

The sakura trees have long since lost their bloom and instead put on green leaves. But no one is looking at them. They exist solely for spring and are only planted here for that purpose. As such, they are forgotten during the period when they're not magnificent and become a meaningless piece of scenery.

The trees cried as the rain beat down on them.

There's no doubt that the Junseiwa School is about to fall apart.

It's an undeniable fact that Reina Kamisu jumped down. There have been several witnesses, and above all, there was a corpse in the middle of the carpet of blood spreading below. And that dead body belonged to Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu died.

The absolute ruler, the absolute law, disappeared. As a result, the Junseiwa School has gotten caught up in confusion and is about to collapse.

And I am sure that she did all of that deliberately. In the face of her goal, everything is petty and of no import.

This isn't the end; it's the start. From here on, Reina Kamisu's real goal will become apparent. I don't know what will happen to me in the process, but I'm sure that I could struggle against her as much as I wanted and still be dancing to her tune. It's all her plan. It's all fate.

The die is cast.

Therefore, I won't do anything.

I don't care about all that stuff anymore.

Bereft of my soul, I don't care anymore.

Come to think of it—not that it matters—people with grudges against me keep appearing because I was the last person who spoke to Reina Kamisu.

The hatred and the hostility against me has become so blatant by now that even the teachers are slowly noticing. What a waste of time. I couldn't care less. As if your brittle spears could ever hurt me when I'm soulless and transparent. Oh boy, you should all just die.

I take notes of the lesson that is taking place. Now that I think about it, I've neglected studying a bit recently. I have to get more serious. I don't feel like thinking anymore; I'll just follow the rails laid out for me.

After our classes—which I followed carefully—the prime example of a trivial person came to me.

"It's your fault that Reina-san died!" Sakura Kawai roars as she enters my classroom.

Oh boy, what a noisy girl. I was ignoring her, but I guess I ought to respond to her.

"Even if that's true, what of it?"

"...What did you say?" she asks with a red face as she draws near. It's getting old.

"Haha..."

"W-What's so funny?!"

"What can you do? What can a fox who borrowed the authority of a tiger do, now that Reina Kamisu is no more?"

"Don't mess with me! I still have colleagues who follow me!"

"Even though Reina Kamisu abandoned you?"

"...What do you mean by that?"

"You don't get it, or what? And you call yourself the representative of Kamisu-san's fan club? Looks like you were blinded by her superficial beauty, eh?"

I continue with absolute certainty:

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

"Wha—?!"

Oh wow, looks like she really didn't understand. Pathetic.

"That's absurd, now! Don't make up things!"

"Absurd? Haha... you're quite the funny one, aren't you?"

"But I'm right! How do you explain her corpse then?!" she asks in response.

"Beats me. But listen, she would never end her life for someone else's sake, nor would she despair and kill herself when she doesn't even care about others. Well? That leaves only the option that I brought up."

The red in her face slowly drains and changes into white instead.

"You're—out of your mind," she mutters.

"I'm not the one who's insane," I answer bluntly.

"Are you saying that I'm the one who lost her mind?!"

"You could say that, but in truth—we have all lost our minds."

She grows even paler.

"We have been too long at this school that was pervaded by Reina Kamisu. We're beyond rescue! ...You, too, will realize soon enough that she isn't dead. She's only watching us from afar for the time being. She might approach us again someday, with a smile."

"C-Cut out this crap... I'm going to kill you!"

"Good luck with that. But I'm going to defend myself because I don't like pain. I guess I'll make sure to carry a knife around since you just threatened me."

"Gh! What is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?!"

"Me? I'm the same as you! Just another student going to the Junseiwa School. A human. And—a subordinate of Reina Kamisu's."

In the end, Sakura Kawai spit out a final insult before she left and stopped to bother me.

The rain still hasn't stopped.

Sakura leaves have fallen on the outlined figure on the ground, but unlike the blossoms, which are said to be beautiful even after scattering, they don't stir any emotion inside me.

The rain still shows no sign of stopping.

—Reina Kamisu scattered here.

But while it is true that she threw herself down here, was it really then that she threw her body away? Couldn't it be that she did so in the past or will do so in the future?

I don't know. I also don't know whether it was she herself that scattered or just her magnificent blossoms.

But there is one thing I do know.

"We will meet again, won't we?" I mutter in a voice that is drowned by the rain.

However—

"—Yes."

A voice that must be an illusion reaches me, causing me to raise my head.

Of course, there is no trace of anyone. All I can see is a tree.

"Hahaha..." I laugh toward the sakura tree.

The blossom-less sakura tree somehow resembled Reina Kamisu's smile.

<noinclude>
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|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu

2016-01-02T22:09:56Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 2: Ryoji Kamisu==

===1===

"I will die in a few days from now," says my little sister, Reina Kamisu, while she is enjoying a cup of Darjeeling tea on the terrace.

"Hm?" I groan not because I didn't understand her, but because I couldn't catch the meaning. After all, she wouldn't speak about her death like about the weather tomorrow.

"As I said, I will die in a few days."

I attempt to read a metaphorical meaning into her words, but at least for now there is just no plausible explanation why she would suddenly come up with such a statement.

"Die?" I ask.

"Yes."

"You?"

"Yes."

"That joke is—" Lame. And Reina does not tell lame jokes. "...Are you serious?"

"I am serious," she confirms without hesitation.

"Okay—"

What's the deal? Does she want to bother me with nonsense? Reina...? No, she wouldn't do that. What she said must be a simple truth.

Reina will die; if that's the truth, I ought to become disconcerted. However, I don't know about others, but at least I can't just believe and embrace the thought of her death just because she predicted it. No, maybe I can't do that because it's me.

"You...you don't have some incurable disease, right? Haha...this isn't some schmaltzy book, after all."

"No, I do not have a disease."

"All right, let's set aside for a moment whether or not you'll die. Why did you tell me that, anyway?"

"Because it is the truth and you belong to my family, Ryoji-san."

"Ha!" I sneer. Family?

Reina dryly calls me "Ryoji-san" instead of using some sort of nickname as is usual for siblings. I'm sure it's not actually with intent, but I can't shake off the nasty feeling that she is trying to deny our blood relation.

Well, I'm probably the only one who thinks like that.

Family, eh? I don't know about her, but at least I never considered her family. To me—to our family—she is not a member, but a piece of art.

"Excuse me, but did I say something bizarre?"

"No," I utter in response.

Despite talking about her own death, Reina gives me a smile. Yes, she is smiling indeed—and that's our punishment for treating her like a piece of art.

I don't remember an exact date, but when Reina was around ten years old, she lost all her emotions. At the very least, I could no longer observe any stirrings of emotion in her. The only thing she would show—regardless of the situation—was a smile. In fact, I can't even picture her to myself without one.

There is one thing I always think when looking at her:

—We must not disturb her smile.

Reina is a person. But we somehow forgot about that while associating with her and eventually treated her with utmost care as though she were a fragile work of art. Reina became obliged to smile and we became obliged not to disturb her smile.

She was sensible enough to recognize that role we had force upon her and played along.

However, she also had the skill to fulfill that role. Since she was intelligent to begin with, Reina quickly became what one could call perfect. She became perfect in every thinkable aspect—be it her appearance, manners, wits, personality, or her skills—so much that it bordered on being plain creepy.

We were all equally shaken, I presume, but nobody said anything; after all, this is what we had wanted Reina to be. Besides... what problem is there with being perfect?

Therefore, all we could eventually do was watching in amazement as she elegantly drunk tea on the terrace as if she was a piece of art.

...But I digress.

"If you know that you will die within a few days, that means that you plan on ending your life, right? In that case, it would indeed be plausible to say that you will die in a few days."

"So you think that I will commit suicide?"

"No, I don't."

"But?"

"If you thought about committing suicide, then you wouldn't tell me, would you?"

Reina smiles in response to my statement.

"I would stop you, Reina, if you told me about suicide, although there would be no need to tell me in the first place if you were serious about it. Moreover, you might give me a guilty conscience by evading my attempts to stop you, and you are too smart a person for such a misconduct that nobody profits. You aren't so weak as to say this because you want me to stop you, either. But most of all... you don't trust me enough to confess your plans of suicide to me."

"That is not true."

"I wonder," I say with a wry smile and sip at my lukewarm cup of black tea. "Anyway, the answer is that you are going to be killed in a few days."

"But did you not say that I will end my own life a few moments ago?" Reina asks.

"You said that you will die in a few days. In other words, you are aware that you are going to be killed. No one is holding you captive, Reina. Even if someone was threatening you, you could escape with with some effort. However, you don't, which means that you have decided to end your life. Besides, if you really planned to commit suicide, there would be no need to use a vague expression like in a few days."

"I understand," says Reina with a nod. I doubt that something I can think of would not occur to her, so she might just be trying to be polite.

"Compared to a normal person, there are more reasons to target someone like you. For one thing, our family is fairly wealthy, and your looks would justify an attempt to murder you as well. There are more than enough reasons for murder to occur."

"That might be true," she says with a smile, agreeing with the absolutely disagreeable fact that I pointed out. It's perfect. The mask she is wearing is perfect.

Is she scheming something else beneath that beautiful mask of hers? Perhaps. But if nobody is able to perceive what that is, those thoughts are technically non-existent.

"All right," I say, finally cutting to the chase. "What do you want me to do, Reina?"

Reina answers with a smile. "I just wanted you to know."

"Hold on! So you want me to sit on my hands and do nothing even though I now know that my sister is going to be killed?"

I may have said this, but as a matter of fact I can't imagine Reina getting killed; although I don't know if that is because she's so blunt about it or because I've subconsciously sorted out the possibility.

Or perhaps because I care about other people as little as Reina does.

"...I see where you are coming from. Asking this of you might be cruel indeed."

"See?"

And because of that, our empty conversation felt very artificial and superficial, with neither of us putting their cards on the table.

"In that case, go to my room when the time comes."

"...To your room?"

Come to think of it, I can't remember when I last was in her room even though we live under the same roof.

"When the time comes...?"

"You will be able to tell!"

If anyone else other than Reina had told me so, I would have laughed it off. However, Reina is saying so and she is smiling.

"Do not worry about me, Ryoji-san," Reina says to me while I'm struggling to find the right reaction. "I will die—"

"—but only metaphorically."

However, Reina died.

A few days after our conversation—three days, to be exact—Reina killed herself by jumping off the roof of a school building.

She didn't leave behind a last will, but there were more than enough witnesses to confirm her death, since it happened shortly after school was over. Reina jumped head-first off the building and died. Unless all the witnesses were lying, that's a truth.

However, because more than half her pretty face was missing after the fall, I have not seen her body.

Every person dies eventually. Every person.

This always gets me wondering; would Reina really die? Would a being so perfectly balanced really die like the bunch of us?

Even though the answer is as clear as day, my head keeps telling me "no". But that's absurd.

But Reina has indeed said it. She's many times smarter than me, and she has smilingly said it.

"Only metaphorically."

I know it's foolish to believe it, and yet I know that I'm right. I suffer of two conflicting thoughts.

Somewhere, maybe in the course of our conversations, Reina has infected me with a Trojan horse that keeps asking me—

—is Reina Kamisu really dead?

===2===

"Whose shoes are those...?" I mutter as I spot unfamiliar leather shoes on entering my home.

"Ah, welcome home Ryoji-san," a woman says as she hurries to me. She, Sakairi-san, is not my mother but an employee who has kept the house for our family for twenty years.

"Hello, Sakairi-san," I reply and take off my shoes.

Twenty years; that's the same amount of time as I have lived so far. In other words, her first job here was to look after me when I was still a baby—which effectively makes her my second mother, since my true mother shuffled off all the hard labor as a housewife to Sakairi-san.

Likewise, she was also Reina's second mother.

In fact, when I saw her crying at Reina's funeral ceremony, it occurred to me that she might actually be the person who mourned for Reina the most and accepted her death before anyone else.

Our family members treated Reina as someone special, but what about Sakairi-san? No one else had seen more of Reina's mundane sides than Sakairi-san, who changed Reina's diapers and emptied her trash bin. Perhaps, she actually thought of Reina as a normal person.

As such, she was bound to be saddened by Reina's passing.

Suddenly, Sakairi-san cuts off my train of thought: "Ah right, I should tell you that a former friend of Reina-san is here."

I drop my gaze to my feet and look at the unfamiliar shoes again.

Sakairi-san was by no means the only person who cried at Reina's funeral ceremony; mother teared up as well—although I can't say the same for father—and so did many of the students from her school, sobbing and weeping. So many tears were shed that day, in fact, that it could have rained.

I must have been the only one who was not concerned with her death.

"Come to see Reina's altar, I take it?"

"Yes."

Leaving behind an indifferent uh-huh, I start to walk to my room upstairs. However...

"Would you mind saying hello to her, Ryoji-san?" Sakairi-san suddenly suggests.

"Huh? Why?"

"I already bid her welcome, of course, but I'm afraid that it might be considered impolite if no one from the family welcomed her."

"But why me...? What about mother?"

I quickly regret my remark. It has only been five days since Reina's death and mother has sunk into depression. I don't know if it's because she lost her daughter or because she lost a piece of splendid art, though.

At any rate, that's what happens when pampered little princesses grow up under a shield of protection. It's really bothersome.

But I'm sure this won't last for long; everything will be back to normal within a month or so. Even while mourning, she won't just stop eating and defecating, and she probably won't miss out on the next lesson at the ballroom dancing school that she has taken to visiting. Before long she will have forgotten to be sad, since such feelings have to be locked away when dealing with our everyday chores. We are conditioned to by our society.

Therefore, feelings serve no purpose to begin with.

I wonder, though, if our parents would be just as sad if I were the one who died ... which is a stupid question. The answer is obvious.

As if they would care.

"...Fine, fine. She's by the alter, right?"

"Yes."

"I'll go greet her. I'm sure you already served her some tea?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"I expected no less."

With these words, I get on my way to our Japanese-style room and walk through the unnecessarily long corridor of the house.

When I pushed aside the sliding door, I found a girl gazing at the photograph at Reina's altar.

In her eyes I recognize something that's neither sadness nor despair. Uh-huh, she's one of those. Well, in Reina's case that's perfectly possible even if she went to an all-girls school.

The girl was simply enraptured by the photograph of Reina.

That's a common reaction. The same happened to some of the business associates of my father who had to attend her funeral: the instant they saw the picture, they were so charmed that they forgot to act mournfully for a moment.

"Ah..." the girl gasps nervously as she notices that someone witnessed her enchanted gaze. I play dumb in response and greet her instead.

"Hello," she returns. "Are you Reina-san's ... brother?"

"Well, yes."

That fact alone was enough to gain her respect. Well, well, if my sister's influence isn't amazing. She's pretty—maybe I should look out for a chance to sleep with her?

"What's your name?"

"My name...? I'm Sakura Kawai," she answers with her eyes fixed upon me. "Excuse me, but you don't happen to ... have picked up my name somewhere?"

"Huh?"

"I've taken over the position of president of the student council from Reina-san. So I thought that she might have ... mentioned me at some point ... perhaps."

"Hm ... I'm afraid not."

"I see..." Kawai-san mutters with blatant disappointment. She must have concluded that she wasn't important enough to Reina to be worth a mention.

"See, Reina never talked about others."

"She didn't...?"

"Yeah."

My excuse was enough to make her smile again. What a simpleton.

It's true that Reina hardly ever talked about others, though. In fact, I don't remember ever hearing anything about her reputation at school.

...Hm, why don't I grasp the opportunity and ask the girl before me? Well, her reputation was obviously mostly positive looking at this girl.

"What kind of person was Reina at school?"

"A wonderful person," Kawai-san replies without missing a beat.

"...Wonderful in what way?"

"I can't explain it. Everything she did was wonderful ... at any rate, she was my ... no, our guide, our goal, our ideal."

"..."

I was prepared for a favorable opinion, but Kawai-san's turned out far more intensive than expected. Her eyes were glittering with adoration—and even struck me as void—as she spoke about Reina. You could almost think she was a—"worshipper" of sorts.

On the other hand, I can somewhere understand her. If Reina doesn't appear human even to her family, then she could definitely make a godlike impression on unrelated people. Even more so in the case of the Junseiwa school: all-girls, for wealthy people, and on top of that, a high percentage of the students seem to be staying at the dorm. I can't fathom what effect Reina must have had on a school with such a highly unified value system.

Suddenly, I recall my conversation with Reina and feel a shudder run down my spine.

"...Kawai-san?"

"Yes?"

"You weren't there when Reina jumped off the roof, right?"

I quickly regret my question. Kawai-san is Reina's "worshipper" and I figured that confronting her with the death of her idol is rather cruel.

However, my fears prove ungrounded. In a perfectly composed manner, the girl replies, "No, I haven't been there." Relieved that she is apparently not as fanatic as expected, I ask another question:

"Then ... do you think that Reina committed suicide?"

During my conversation with Reina, I concluded that she would die of murder, but that assessment might have been wrong after all. If she was aware of my indifference to others–and thus indifference to her suicide–that would have enabled her to deliberately mislead me into thinking of murder.

But why would she do that in the first place?

What if my initial assessment wasn't wrong? What if she was killed and didn't commit suicide?

As a matter of fact, these fears seem to be grounded when looking at the Junseiwa school. Perhaps, her idolized image developed a life of its own?

Oh, what an absurd thought. I'm such an idiot. If that were really true—

"Reina-san did not commit suicide."

Kawai-san replied to my question and interrupted my train of thought.

"Huh...?"

"As I said, Reina-san did not commit suicide!"

"D-Don't be silly! That would mean that dozens of people are lying about witnessing the scene of her suicide!"

Exactly. That fact clashes with my assessment of murder.

Kawai-san, however, asks bluntly:

"Do you think that's impossible?"

"...Impossible?"

"Do you really think it's impossible that dozens of Junseiwa students would lie about Reina-san's death?"

I gasp.

The present condition at Junseiwa is an unknown to me, and yet I was able to easily envision her as a special individual to the students at the school. That's why I started to suspect murder.

But what if reality exceeded my imagination?

"Dear brother of Reina-san, listen. She is absolute to us. Can you follow me? Absolute. Things like common sense, good sense and the law don't matter when Reina-san is involved."

The Junseiwa school is a detached domain. On top of that, females are highly adaptive and skilled at building up their own little community.

What are the implications of throwing Reina Kamisu into that mix?

"At our school, Reina-san made the rules."

Yeah, right. That's what happens.

"I'm sure you understand now, right?" she asks. "Our students will happily make false statements as long as Reina-san wills it."

"...Wait! If Reina wills it? Do you mean that Reina made you kill her? No, in this case it means she made you help her with her suici–"

"What are you talking about...?"

"...Hm?"

"Who said that Reina-san was killed?"

"Huh?"

Kawai-san pulls her lips to a smirk, and makes me realize that her level of "worship" is indeed fanatic.

The girl opens her mouth again.

"Reina-san isn't dead."

How terribly deluded she is. Kawai-san has come to a silly conclusion just because she doesn't want to accept Reina's death.

However—

—Is she the only one who came to this conclusion?

"——is Reina Kamisu really dead?"

Is this just a coincidence? Was Reina so unearthly that she could give us both the same impression?

Or is it simply the truth?

At any rate, I decide to ask for Kawai-san's opinion.

"Kawai-san ... you're being absurd. Then who on earth is that person that was cremated and buried six feet under?"

"I don't know. But dear brother ... have you seen the body?"

"...I haven't."

"See?"

"...No, you can't gloss it over like that. The students at Junseiwa may lie for Reina, but the police staff that examined her body do not," I argue.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that."

"What?"

"We have quite a few students with politically active parents or with parents who work at the police. They could apply pressure."

"...I doubt those parents would listen to their daughters just like that."

"We also have money. And ... well, we are young and pretty. It shouldn't be impossible to bribe one or the other examiner with those means, don't you think?"

"...What about her corpse? You can't tell me that you'd kill someone who looks similar just to replace her. You wouldn't go that far even if she—"

"But we would. I told you that she is the absolute rule to us and exceeds good sense and the law, didn't I?" the girl says with iron determination.

...I mustn't let her deceive me. It might be true that Reina would not be incapable of feigning her own death.

But that's only hypothetical.

The likelihood isn't zero, but the number is so small that it can be considered mathematically irrelevant and can be reduced to zero.

On the other hand, I can't deny the fact that I also wondered why Reina would go out of her way to commit suicide at the Junseiwa school.

"Your reasoning is all over the place, Kawai-san, but I do get your point. But let's be honest here: you arrived at this explanation because you can't believe Reina is dead, right?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"Why did you think Reina isn't dead? Did she tell you that she wouldn't die, or something?"

"..." Kawai-san seems to be at a loss for words at first. At last, she continues: "No. I simply noticed."

As I expected. Kawai-san has merely built a logic around her delusions.

However, the next thing she says rattles me.

"A former enemy of mine, who is also an underling of Reina-san's, was also aware of the fact that Reina-san isn't dead. Ironically, she is the one who pointed it out to me. After giving it some thought, I also realized that Reina-san can't be dead."

"..."

Kawai-san and I are not the only ones who came to that conclusion?

"Fine, fine! That's enough!" I shout, unable to suppress my irritation.

"...Excuse me. It might have been inappropriate to say these things to a relative of hers," Kawai-san says while hanging her head.

"Yeah, I've heard enough. In fact, you didn't even need to tell me. I was already certain of it."

"Huh...?"

At last, I admit it.

"Reina Kamisu is alive."

The likelihood is zero. And even when taking Reina's exceptionalness into account, the likelihood stays infinitely close to zero.

However, the very fact that Reina was born into this world is an even greater miracle. A miracle atop of a miracle is nothing to be surprised about. Both things have a 0 chance of occurring. They're absurd. If one impossible thing happens, then everything that occurs afterwards can be considered just as impossible and therefore there is no need to be surprised. No matter how many miracles occur, in the end it's just one miracle.

"Metaphorically."

Reina told me figuratively that she would die. She did that, because it was the only way to express what was going to happen and what did happen.

In the end, she still has us all in her palm of her hand.

Reina is trying to achieved something by dying socially, by vanishing off the face of the earth. However, the question of her goal is far above me.

But there is one thing that I do know.

If things are going according to Reina's plan—then it's only a matter of time until everything falls into place.

===3===

I split up with my girlfriend after dating her for three months and ignored her when she asked why with tears in her eyes. I had learned from experience that it was no use trying to explain my reasons when splitting up with a girlfriend.

Why I ended our relationship?

Because I wasn't satisfied.

Because she didn't become mine.

She didn't truly look at me.

Most of my ex-girlfriends would then either deny it or flip out, saying that "it was my fault." That's why I decided to split up without making any excuses this time around. However, I've recently come to think that my ex-girlfriends may have been not so off the mark. After all, I'm indifferent to others, and they were no exception. In that case, the problem was clearly on my side.

I'm sure I realized that because I'm getting older.

Oh boy ... what a shame. She was my type in both looks and personality. She even loved a guy like me and never did things I didn't care for. Why did it have to end like this?

...Well, at least I got to bang her.

After I cut off my train of thought like this, I leave through the gate of my university, walk for a bit and catch myself a taxi. "To the Junseiwa school," I tell the driver, take out my cell phone and navigate to the newest entry in my address book.

[Sakura Kawai]

She answered the phone after three rings.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is that Reina-san's brother?"

I turn to the driver to inquire about the time until arrival and forward the answer to Kawai-san. She will be waiting at the gate for me.

After making the appointment, I hang up.

"Meeting up with your sweetheart?" the driver jests.

"No, I just split up with my girlfriend."

As I reply in a leisure manner, I notice that I have lost all interest in my ex-girlfriend.

Neither am I hurt, nor do I feel any guilt.

"Hehe..."

Well, well—

Looks like I didn't care about her after all.

Kawai-san was waiting at the gate as promised.

"Sorry for bothering you," I say, assuming that she had to come all the way here from home since it's almost 6 pm.

"It's okay. I live just around the corner."

"Ah, in the dorm?"

"Yes."

I look up at the school gate while talking with her. Mmm, quite impressive. As expected from a school for rich girls. Oh, look at that! They even installed surveillance cameras!

"...Is it safe for me to enter this campus?"

"I told our advisor that a relative of Reina Kamisu is coming. Besides, you should be fine if you stay together with me, even if word hasn't reached all teachers yet. I'll explain it to them if they ask."

I recall that she is the head of the student council and nod.

"Excellent. So, can you show me where Reina died?"

"Come again?"

"Ah, let me correct myself. Show me where Reina 'scattered.'"

With these words, we enter the grounds of the Junseiwa school.

I'm now inside an all-girls school that only lets in girls and women. A secret flower garden of sorts—which is a very cheesy yet strangely suitable simile. Reina has indeed secretly sown flowers here, and they are budding soon.

I must find out what they are.

Because that is probably the reason why Reina had that conversation with me three days before she scattered.

The dark red school building did indeed look magnificent from the outside, but once I entered, it was no much different from the high school I attended, though a great deal more luxurious. Well, granted, while the high school I went to was not as high-class as the Junseiwa school, it was by no means a cheap one. It was the kind of school that would take its students abroad for the school excursion, so my opinion may be a little biased.

There is something distinctly different, though: it's not the architecture, but the students. Their (visual) quality is far higher than what I'm used to for starters, but there is also something different in the way they greet each other whenever Kawai-san walks into a fellow student. The students that pass us may give me curious looks, but they don't ask any questions. I don't know whether that is because of their composed nature or because I'm with Kawai-san.

The rooftop almost looks like a sidewalk café with the fashionable tables and chairs that have been installed there. Because of what happened to Reina, I assume, nobody is using it at the moment. The fence around the area has been built rather high due to the many visitors this place has; it's impossible to fall from the rooftop by accident, unless the fence happens to be damaged.

I look down through the fence and find the white outlines of a person.

"...This is where Reina fell?"

"Where she is said to have fallen," Kawai-san corrects.

"Quite high."

There are four floors below us. When adding the 2 meters of the fence, this makes about 20 meters.

"But not high enough to commit certain suicide. Also, it's possible to get caught up in the tree over there."

Unable to get my point, Kawai-san cocks her head.

Suicide. If Reina genuinely planned to commit suicide, then she would not choose a place like this per se. She would choose a place that offers certain death and does not bother anyone. Jumping to death requires courage—it makes no sense to increase the difficulty by choosing this building.

Or did she perhaps want somebody to notice her and step in? Did she feel special about this school? ... No, I doubt Reina is a person who thinks like that.

There is thus every indication that there is a meaning in her decision to scatter here.

"Metaphorically,"

And it might be found in—

—the way she made everyone believe that she is dead.

I look around and then again at the white outlines.

"...But I'm fairly sure that there was an actual corpse," I claim as I keep my gaze fixed on the chalk outline.

"I wasn't there, so I can't say anything."

"Even if the people who said that Reina jumped off the rooftop are liars, it should be safe to assume that there was a body."

"Why?"

"Just one more thing: Am I right my assumption that the pathway the chalk outline is drawn on is not unused?"

"I suppose so. Not that frequently, but people do use it."

"See? If everything were a lie and there were no body, then the people using the passage would become suspicious. The liars can't do anything about that."

"Reina-san might have jumped when no one was down there ... I mean ... they could say that."

"That's a good point, but keep in mind that this rooftop is visible from many places. See the windows in the other school building? That means that somebody might show up who can testify that nobody has jumped down from here at that time."

"Maybe there is somebody like that, but she is just keeping it to herself?"

"Even though it's about the death of Reina Kamisu, the 'absolute rule' here?"

I was sure that Kawai-san would be at a loss for words, but her response was swift:

"You are right. It might be safe to think that there was a corpse or something to the same effect."

"..."

She admitted it just so.

This is a strange feeling. I feel like I am trying to beat clouds with a bat, like this discussion has no substance whatsoever. Kawai-san is only passively listening to my opinion.

That's odd. She is supposed to be just as interested in Reina's death as I am, but then why does she not reason together with me? There's no way she doesn't care—

—No, perhaps she really doesn't care.

Kawai-san does not assume that Reina is alive. Kawai-san is certain that Reina is alive.

Reina's death is nothing but a silly lie to her.

My opinion is therefore of no interest to her. I can say what I want, she has made up her mind.

My opinion doesn't matter.

—doesn't matter.

"...Kawai-san. You are convinced that Reina is alive, right?"

"Yes," she nods without hesitation.

"I'm here to find proof for that, but your conviction will not change either way. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you lead me here today? Why did you put yourself to this bother?

Kawai-san replies as if it's nothing: "How could I say no when you're Reina's brother?"

Aah—

So that's what it boils down to.

That's all there is.

I'm just an extra.

All that is ever asked of me is to be Reina's extra.

She is not looking at me.

She is not looking at me, either.

"...Let me ask you a question: If Reina killed someone or had someone killed in order to feign her death, would you still admire her?"

Even though it's a question that should leave her speechless, Kawai-san doesn't require a second of thought:

"Of course!" she instantly replies. "Did I forget to mention it? Reina-san was absolute to us. Things like—"

"I know!"

Sensing that I'm irritated, she falls silent and gives me a suspicious look.

No, that look isn't for me. It's for Reina Kamisu's brother. She is looking right through me, at Reina Kamisu.

This makes me sick.

This. Makes. Me. Sick.

"We're done here," I say and walk toward the exit without looking at her.

"...Is something wrong...?"

While hearing these slightly worried words behind me, I enter the school building. Kawai-san follows me, though a bit nervously, as I walk down the stairs, get back into my shoes and leave the school building. I then walk to the chalk outline-

"—Jesus...!"

Why do I let it get to my head so easily? Haven't I gotten used to it by now? With Reina beside me, everyone looks only at her and ignores me. It's always been like this. Father, mother, Sakairi-san, the other house keepers, my teachers, my friends, my lovers ... they do not see me. They only see the Reina Kamisu behind me. They only see Reina Kamisu, the impersonation of absolute beauty. The faint light that I am disappears amidst the dazzling, huge light that she is. Oh, haven't I gotten used it? What is there to be sour about? Nothing has changed. The only thing that changed is that—

Is that—

"———"

"...What's wrong?" Kawai-san asks. "Did I offend you?"

"—Reina's not here anymore."

"...Huh?"

"No more ... Reina is no more, and yet, nobody sees me...?"

"...Dear brother?"

We arrive at the chalk outline.

Welcome to the magic show! Hop inside the line and you will disappear! One, two, three, and Reina is gone! And even though she is gone, even though she has disappeared socially and physically, we are still occupied with her.

I've finally found the answer.

Why do I believe that Reina's alive?

Of course, part of the reason has to do with that conversation we had. But that's not all. Another significant reason—the real one—is that nothing has changed around me. Everyone is still exclusively looking at Reina. Nobody is looking at me still. Because of that, I'm unable to feel losing Reina.

Everyone is looking at a void, claiming it's Reina, and ignoring me. Even though I'm the one who's still alive.

Everyone leaves me alone.

Alone?

"———"

I see ... We are much alike, Reina and I.

We are truly brother and sister. Kindred spirits.

I was alone. Nobody saw me because of Reina. With someone far more valuable by my side, nobody saw my value.

But Reina was just as alone. We did not see Reina. We only saw her value.

As a result, Reina and I lost interest in our blind social environment and with it our sympathy.

That's why we only associated with other superficially.

We're truly alike.

However, I tried to resist. I dated girls, made friends and enrolled at a shitty university, in the hope that somebody would understand me. Even now.

But Reina took another path. She created a personality that was perfect enough to leave no room for others to approach her, and distanced herself from us.

Why did Reina disappear?

It's as simple as it gets.

Reina dissociated herself even more from us.

That's why—Reina scattered.

"Kawai-san."

"Yes...?"

"Can you step inside that chalk line?"

"If ... you insist...?"

There's nothing special about this patch of earth. There's no land mine hidden underneath. The white line simply signifies that a human person died here. There aren't even any traces of blood left. If not for the outline, people would walk over it without a second thought.

However, right now you can't do it without any instinctive scruples.

Reina had drawn a line, too. A line she wanted us to respect and keep out from. It was nothing more than a mark that people could easily cross like this chalk outline here, but she did signalize that she didn't want us to.

Reina was admired by everyone, but she was not loved by anyone.

And I'm sure that's what she wanted.

This girl here, Sakura Kawai, however, is clearly crossing that line. She is clearly crossing the no entry line Reina has drawn. She, and the whole rest of her bunch. They defiled Reina's sanctuary and left behind countless footprints.

—I don't think Reina would forgive that.

"I don't know what Reina wanted to achieve by scattering, but I do know the cause."

This time, my words manage to make her eyes widen.

"What is it...?"

"The cause is—"

—Why did Reina have to commit suicide at this school of all places?

"—you and your friends."

===4===

Misfortunes never come singly.

Somebody might fail his entrance exam. That's the first misfortune, but the chain goes one.

After he fails his exam, he might find himself disillusioned with his skills. He loses hope in himself. He becomes depressive. That in turn makes him unappealing and causes his girlfriend to dump him. He starts to think that nobody likes him, and as a result, it becomes the truth. He loses hope in everyone. He despairs. He wants to vanish. He begins to think about dying. He decides to commit suicide. He jumps into a rolling train and dies. And that's it. Bad end. The story is over.

But the misfortune goes on. The chain has not been broken.

The station staff who had to tidy the place of the human shreds might not be able to bear up with the repulsion and quit his job. If he loses his income, he might get into conflict with his family and end up divorcing. A passenger might suffer trauma from witnessing the gruesome scene of blood and guts getting flung through the air. He might not be able to eat his loved meat anymore. The family of the victim might plunge into debts because they can't come up with the money for the damages. They might end up hanging themselves in fear of the violent debt-collectors. And the chain of misfortune continues in some way for them.

Like this, a misfortune spawns another one. Because unlike fiction, reality does not end. It's an endless misfortune.

Likewise, Reina's scattering is not the end.

The misfortune Reina created goes on.

"Go to my room when the time comes."

Quite frankly, I had no clue what "time" she was talking about. I actually went there when she died, thinking it might be the "time", and a few times after that.

However, whenever I went there, I found nothing of import and had to leave empty-handed.

But now I'm certain.

The "time" is now.

It's now that Sakura Kawai and her friends jumped to death.

I open the door to Reina's room. The setting sun is shining through the window, dyeing the simple and somewhat lifeless room in the colors of twilight.

Yeah, I was right. The time is now.

As I look at the most lifeless thing in this lifeless room, I open my mouth to speak up:

"Reina."

"It is a pleasure to see you again, Ryoji-san," she smile beautifully.

Reina is standing in front of the window and leaning against the frame. Illuminated by the setting sun, she does not only look stunningly beautiful, but also turns her onlookers contemplative like a magnificent painting. Aah ... I can't shake off these thoughts even though I know it is what drove her away.

"You're ... alive?"

I'm hardly surprised.

Even after I noticed why she didn't feel dead to me, I found myself unable to believe her death.

Yes, from a realistic viewpoint someone was burnt to ashes and these ashes can't belong to anyone else but Reina, but it is Reina we are talking about.

I did find out why she wanted to distance herself from us, but I didn't find out why she would commit suicide. As a result, I still considered it possible that she was alive.

"Yes, I am alive. Although perhaps only metaphorically," Reina answers with a smile.

I now understand the meaning behind her words.

I take a deep breath and inquire: "Reina ... was it you?"

Reina gives no answer and keeps smiling.

"Did Kawai-san and the others become an annoyance to you?"

"Why, not at all."

Well, is she telling the truth? Or has Reina lost the ability to discern between what's true and what's for show after wearing a mask for so long?

However, it's apparent that Reina was involved in their suicide, be it directly or indirectly. It was her will.

I have no means of telling what is going on in Reina's head. More precisely, not once in my entire life have I ever understood her. Her goal is incomprehensible to a commoner like me.

There is only one fact I know:

Reina killed Kawai-san and her group.

But what about me? What happens to me? I'm also one of Reina's marionettes, just like Kawai-san, and it's clear at which occasion she programmed me.

"Tell me, Reina, why did you talk to me about your death?"

"...Are you sure that you want to know?"

"Of course."

Reina peers into my eyes.

"Your eyes have changed a little, Ryoji-san."

"...You think so?"

"Yes ... I think I can tell you now. I wanted you to become aware, Ryoji-san."

"Aware of what?"

"Of yourself. Of your own value."

"Of my own value...?"

I don't understand. Well, I do understand what she means, but I don't get why Reina would care.

"Hey, I know what I'm worth. I will have no success and I will not be of use to anyone, just like a wayside stone," I say with conviction, but Reina shakes her head.

"You were so unfortunate as to be rated in comparison to me. My value was of a far too apparent kind. The comparison between us must have deranged your sense of self-worth."

"That would happen to anyone in this position, Reina."

"Then why did you not simply stop comparing yourself with me?"

I falter for a moment but then counter, "I would've done that if possible. But as a matter of fact, you were there and the comparison was unavoidable. I was always in the position to be compared with you and you were always twice as good as me. In anyone's eyes. And so nobody cared about me. Nobody looked at me. And I stopped caring about others. All that was inevitable with you as my sister."

"Even now?"

"Yes, even ... now—"

Even now that Reina is no longer here?

"...Wait, we're digressing! I didn't ask about myself, but about the reason why you approached me!"

"No, we are not digressing, Ryoji-san. What did you do after I told you about my death?"

"What I did? Well, I pondered about the meaning of your words and started to have doubts in your death."

"And then you discovered that our conversation was not the only reason to harbor doubts, therefore you started investigating?"

"...Yeah..."

"And then you noticed that everyone is still occupied with me even though I have vanished, which in turn led you to the answer to why you were really doubting my death."

Reina's words are so spot-on that I'm left speechless.

"And you are starting to realize that you do not need to feel alone anymore, now that I am gone."

"No, that's not true ... everyone is still only looking at you!"

"But it is a void they are looking at."

"..."

"And the one who is peering into this void harder than anyone is no one else but you, Ryoji-san."

"...What?" I ask in response to her unexpected statement with my glance fixed upon her.

However, Reina does naturally not answer my glance.

Reina is smiling.

"If I had not approached you before my death, you would have never even thought about stopping to concern yourself with me."

I always thought that nobody was looking at me. That all the attention I was supposed to get waS sucked toward Reina like by a black hole. That nobody knew me. That I was just there.

But Reina is saying that the same applied to myself.

She is saying that my attention was sucked toward her as well.

She is saying that not even I saw myself.

"..."

Is Reina Kamisu really dead? I used to think, and I noticed that the reason for these doubts was to be found in that conversation and the lack of change in my environment.

But is that really all?

Probably not. I was probably scared.

Scared that my environment might not change even after Reina's disappearance—no, I was scared that my environment might still feel to me as though it had not changed after Reina's disappearance.

If Reina was still alive somewhere, then there was nothing strange about feeling that nothing had changed. Everything was the same. Of course, people would still not look at me.

Because of that, Reina had to be still alive.

And that's how I disregarded myself.

"—I am afraid that it is time to say goodbye," Reina says with a smile after waiting for me to arrive at the conclusion.

"Where are you going, Reina...?"

Reina just keeps smiling.

I will never see her again. Of that I'm sure.

My loneliness will be fading from now on.

Reina, however, will stay alone.

"...Reina," I say as I gaze at her. But still, she doesn't answer my look. She gazes elsewhere, somewhere far away yet nowhere.

—And here she scatters.

I blinked my eyes, and a moment later, Reina was gone.

How? I don't know. Reina disappeared. She scattered. She is not here anymore.

Reina is no longer in this twilit room.

At last, I discovered myself.

Finally, I obtained the ability to associate with others.

And so I let something out that I had held in for a long time.

I cried for Reina.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui|Chapter 1]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai|Chapter 3]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui

2016-01-02T16:50:06Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui==

===1===

Voices are like invisible razor blades to me.

We are all alone from birth to death, and even though we can't really understand each other we are still forced to associate all along the way. There are only two ways out: biological death or social death.

The world is brimming with people observing me, no matter where I escape.

And again, another day starts where I am forced to blend into a group.

I am suffocating, crammed into a tiny, narrow box, our classroom, together with various people who keep attacking me.

We're on a small break right now. Girls are noisy beings, and as such, even the high level of this school doesn't stop them from nattering away with their shrill voices. Female voices are—perhaps because they're higher than male voices—very sharp. Sharp like razorblades.

Laughter. Certainly not directed at me. But it sounds to me like they're sneering at me.

"Your face is a mess today, isn't it?", "Stop spreading bad mood," "Aren't her legs quite fat?", "She completely messed up that question there, didn't she? And she sucks at English, anyway," "Isn't something smelling funny here?" "I bet she's a slut," "Disgusting," "Gross," "Sickening."

They're not saying these things against me. They're not saying them against me. I'm not as odd as to be called such things.

But my imagination won't stop taking their voices as attacks against me.

Stop it! Don't talk in front of me!

"Stop being so noisy!"

A shout reverberates, shrouding the classroom in silence... with my voice.

Astonishment and some discontent for being yelled at without a reason shows on their faces. But as expected from Junseiwa students, not a single one of them shows any anger. Instead, they resume their conversations with quieter voices than before.

But it's not like they don't care. Deep inside, they must hate me; they must feel the urge to attack me.

And like this, I continue to get myself into a jam. In order not to get hurt, I isolate myself from others and keep everyone away. But by doing so, I also lose the chance to find someone who understands me and supports me, and I stay in the dark about what they think of me. As a result, anxiety keeps growing.

"She pisses me off!" someone groans and others laugh in response.

My body tenses up.

No, that wasn't directed at me. Please, be concise! It sounds to me like you said "That Mitsui bitch pisses me off." That's what it gets converted to in my head.

I cover my ears in a manner that doesn't get noticed, even though no one is looking at me. Why am I so sensitive? Why isn't everyone just gentle to me? I wish someone would appear who understands how delicate I am, but such a person does not exist. Instead, I am thought to be a rude and strong girl and keep being injured—be it wittingly or unwittingly—because they don't bother looking closer at me.

That's why I gaze at Reina Kamisu.

Today, she is talking with the members of Hashigami-san's group. Reina Kamisu, an exceptional girl, has pulled off the feat of not belonging to a group and still getting along with everyone. ...No, she's much more than just exceptional.

I know—no, everyone knows—that she would never hurt anyone. In other words, she wouldn't hurt me either.

Reina Kamisu is a girl who seems to made purely of ideals.

She, our image of "perfection," does not belong to anyone's group. She isn't biased. Reina Kamisu is always neutral toward anyone. Therefore, she wouldn't hurt anyone.

Reina Kamisu would not pull me up if I held out my hand; but she wouldn't shake off my hand either.

That's why I can gaze at her at ease.

Noticing my glance, she suddenly returns my look. I would have quickly averted my eyes had it been someone else, but if it's her, I don't have to fear anything and can keep up eye contact for a while.

Kamisu-san beautifully smiles at me.

Ah, she's so beautiful.

That was enough to make me feel vindicated.

All of a sudden—something stone-like forcibly enters my head.

It's a stone. If I shake my head, it rolls around inside and damages my brains. Quick, I have to get rid of it. Of what? Of the cause that made this happen.

The cause is—

...Huh? Why? Isn't she the only one who will never stand against me...? Yes, that's exactly what distinguishes her from everyone else.

She may be different, but I don't care. The problem is that something about her is being detected by me as a stone, as "harm".

Why—?

I look at her again.

She is still smiling beautifully at me.

===2===

"Who do you think you are?"

A few days after I started feeling something bizarre about Reina Kamisu, I was suddenly approached on the corridor during lunch break. The girl who approached me didn't show the least of restraint and just blocked my way, seething with irritation.

An attacker. There's no doubting it.

However, the attacker isn't one of my classmates, who must have accumulated frustration against me, but a freshman named Sakura Kawai.

"Hah? Careful what you say now!"

If it's a real attack and not just my delusions, I can counter to my heart's content and ensure that the attacker will stop in the future.

I can fight. Even though I might get hurt in the process.

Sakura Kawai, however, doesn't wince. "I know about the dirty look you're giving Reina-san!"

"Filthy look? What are you talking about?"

"I think I expressed myself clearly enough! I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

"Jealous?"

She's right in that I often look at Kamisu-san. I have been watching her even more these days because I wanted to find out the cause for what's bothering me about her, in addition to my urge to be vindicated, but she couldn't be farther off by calling this jealousy.

"Know your place, okay? Even if you're the student council president, you're still younger than me. Don't you think you're a bit insolent?" I argue.

"I don't wish to be rude toward an upperclassman, either, but there are things that I just can't let pass."

"Things you can't let pass? And that would be me, or what?"

"Yes! Just think about it. Reina-san is a wonderful person. I have so much respect for her, she's my inspiration".

Ah, so Sakura Kawai is one of them. It's obvious looking how she follows Kamisu-san around everywhere: Sakura Kawai is a firm "believer" of Reina Kamisu.

The number of Reina Kamisu's "believers" at this school is everything but small. No, you could say they're the majority.

It might be a nasty comparison, but if one were to compare Reina Kamisu's charisma with poisonous gas, the gas would be so strong that breathing in 0.1mg would be enough to kill a person with a likelihood of 99.999%. If released in a town, the whole town would die out. In addition, the virulence would be extremely high as well; just touching an infected person would get you killed.

I'm exaggerating? Perhaps. But anyone close to her would unanimously nod at this comparison.

Anyway. Being locked into this closed environment, Reina Kamisu is fulfilling and corroding the school without leaving out a gap.

What's the obvious consequence?

Reina Kamisu attains an absolute status within this small community. As a matter of fact, she is the law and driving force at the Junseiwa School.

"I... no, we won't let you get through with this! Scowling on Reina-san... Aah, I'm disgusted just by thinking of it! Anyway, we won't let you look down at Reina-san! No one can deny her. What makes you think that someone as petty as you could?"

"...What did you just say?! Besides, you're completely wrong. I'm not looking down at her at all."

"I'm not deceived that easily!"

"But you're really wrong!"

"Cut out those lies!"

It's no use. This girl won't listen no matter what I say. She is already firmly convinced that I'm looking down on Kamisu-san.

But that's not true; I have great respect for her as well. After all, I'm just another member of this small, closed community.

Therefore, I'm not looking at Kamisu-san with scorn.

—Unless the odd thing I'm feeling about her is of a negative nature.

"...Look, it seems like you know what I'm talking about," Sakura Kawai reproaches me with conviction, apparently having noticed the slight doubts that showed on my face.

"...It's a misunderstanding!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Just apologize and swear to keep your eyes away from her!"

My patience is wearing thin. Who does she thin she is? She means nothing to Kamisu-san; it's not like she's her family or even just a friend of hers.

"Hmph! Even if I did scorn her, what of it? I wouldn't be bothering anyone with it, would I?"

"What did you just say...?"

"If someone is bothering Kamisu-san, then it's certainly not me, but you guys who stick to her like fish shit!"

"W-What?!"

Sakura Kawai's face turns red like a tomato.

—Oh no.

She isn't the type of attacker who gets afraid and stops attacking. I knew that and should have retreated at the right time, but I accidentally continued to hold against her.

And right now, I rubbed her the exact wrong way.

It's too late. She's going to keep attacking me, keep hurting me.

And on top of that—

I got too worked up and forgot who she is.

"...I went too far," I say apologetically, but my words don't reach her. She isn't open to apologizes anymore.

"...you scoffed at us."

Plural.

Right, this attacker is—the student council president.

"I will not forgive you for this..."

Her wailing before was a thousand times better than this. Now there is a deep, hateful tone in her voice that gives her hatred a firm shape.

Ah, it's over.

Up until now, I've simply been reacting over-sensitively to ambiguous remarks, interpreting them as attacks against me. Of course, some of those remarks must have been really directed at me, since I'm the type of person who makes herself a lot of enemies. However, in the majority of cases, it was just my overreacting that got me hurt.

But this is going to change now. I'm going to be under fire from all sides for real.

"She's making me angry," "What an insolent bitch," "Get out of here," "Piss off," "Go die in a fire," "Go west," "Die."

I'm going to really get such insults; after all, this attacker right before my eyes is the student council president. She's the second most powerful person here. If Sakura Kawai openly announces that she won't forgive me, then the number of attackers will grow. She does have the authority and the social network to do just that.

To make matters worse, Reina Kamisu's "believers" have uniform beliefs. If one of the central authorities like Sakura Kawai says that she won't forgive me, then the other "believers" are bound to share her will.

Inside this closed environment, it is an absolute taboo to get on the wrong side of Sakura Kawai.

Reina Kamisu treats everyone equally, but her followers can't emulate her deeds. Jesus Christ said that if someone slapped you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also, and yet the believers kept waging war. That's how it works. Sakura Kawai has the power that it takes to unite everyone against me under the pretext of protecting Reina Kamisu.

She is aware of that, too, and that's why she was able to act so bold against an upperclassman like me.

"...I'm sorry."

However, as expected, my apology only adds fuel to the flames.

"...Prepare yourself! I will teach you that there is no place for you in this school anymore," Sakura Kawai proclaimed.

That's not a threat. It's a decided fact.

In a few days from now—I will have no place anymore.

Once I got home, I shut myself into my room, plunked into my semi-double bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

"Aah..."

It's over... I can't take this anymore...

This place was a painful, exit-less box to begin with, but now I'm going to be lynched by everyone on top of it; even though all I want is not to be attacked, not to be hurt.

That's just horrible: If striking back in order to protect myself angered the other party so much that she now unites everyone against me, then what should I have done instead?

I don't know the answer, but I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this; that someday, someone would hate me for good and initiate an organized attack against me. At the very least, I had deemed it more probably than North Korea making an onslaught on Japan.

...I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this?

But that means that I didn't have a chance to begin with.

Fuck! Fuck! Are you kidding me?! Why does nobody treat me gently?! Why does nobody understand me?!

No, that's wrong... It's all my fault... I know, I know!

As I continue this pointless and endless train of thought, I clutch at my pillow so hard that it almost bursts.

Goddammit!

Knock, knock, goes my door all of a sudden. It must be my sister judging from the sound pattern.

"What?" I ask bluntly toward the door.

The door opens and my little sister, Yoshino, enters the room. "Um..." she mutters reluctantly as I scowl at her, still lying on my bed.

"Get the fuck out of here if you've got no business!" I shout, turning my frustration at my weak sister who is 3 years younger than me. As always.

"I-I am sorry..." she apologizes despite not being at fault.

A thought suddenly crosses my mind as I gaze at my downhearted sister: she will certainly lose all her self-confidence because of me and become a dejected person.

I'm sorry for that. But I'm not in an easy situation either, so it can't be helped, can it?

"So, what is it?" I ask again.

"Um, someone has come over to see you..."

"Someone...?"

Sakura Kawai crosses my mind.

Was she not satisfied with attacking me just at school? That's absurd... but I haven't made myself any friends that would go out of their way to come over here. So... it's well possible that Sakura Kawai is already done preparing her attack on me and has come here.

No... Please not! Don't torment me any more than this!

"...Onee-chan... quick..."

"I know! Just shut up!" Yoshino winces again at my sharp voice.

Yes, that's right! It's Yoshino's fault. I've only gotten myself into this situation because her lack of resistance gradually made more offensive!

While casting the blame on others in my head, I push Yoshino aside with my right hand and walk to the entrance.

What am I going to do? How am I going to handle this situation? I can no longer defend myself by attacking, that's for sure, but I don't know any other way. I'm not deft enough to ward off an attack. I'm the type of person who deliberately gets hit by a bullet in fear of the gunshot that would follow; that's why I have to take care of the attacker before she can fire a bullet no matter what!

Full with despair, I open the door and look the the visitor.

Time stopped.

"—Huh?"

I unwittingly react with the clichéd act of rubbing my eyes in disbelief and look once more at her.

"Hello," she says. With an absurdly beautiful smile.

"—Kamisu-san?"

"Please excuse my sudden visit, Mitsui-san. I take it that I must have surprised you?"

"I don't mind... but what brings you here?"

I try guessing her reason to visit me... but I fail to come up with anything plausible.

Kamisu-san treats everybody equally.

Of course, in her eyes I'm just another equal person. Therefore, there is no reason why should would come visit me.

However, as a matter of fact, she stands right before me, smiling.

"Would you be so kind as to let me in? While I do not mind talking right here, I am sure that you had rather take a seat and not have your family hear our conversation."

"Y-Yes..." I say, left with no other choice but to approve. While her way of speaking is incredibly polite, she doesn't seem to tolerate any dissent.

"..."

What is there to get so flustered about? Cool down: a classmate has come over to my place, that's all.

However—

Everyone who knows Reina Kamisu—or has just caught a glimpse of her at some point—will inevitably think the following: there must be a reason of utmost importance for her visiting me. A reason deeper than the reason of life itself.

I lead Kamisu-san to my room. Her every movement seems so harmonized that looking at her from this short distance disrupts the rhythm of my own heartbeat, making it pound randomly. As I wonder how many millions of yen one would make by selling her beautiful black hair to a jeweler, I let her into my room.

"What a lovely room," she praises me with a sincere smile, gently satisfying the pride I have in my room layout. She managed to stir me just by praising me.

I ask her to take a seat on my precious red sofa. She accepts my offer politely and sits down in a manner just as beautiful. For a while, we talk about my room, until Yoshino comes in and brings us some black tea in stead of my absent parents. Confronted with Kamisu-san's beautiful face, however, Yoshino gets startled and blushes as Kamisu-san gives her a smile.

After waiting for Yoshino to leave and taking a sip of the black tea, Kamisu-san says with a smile:

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

While attempting to calm down my racing heart, I look closely at Kamisu-san but fail to read anything off her mild expression.

"I know about the filthy look you're giving Reina-san!"

I start to ponder. If Sakura Kawai's complaint is the general consensus and not just a result of her deluded mind, then it would be highly probable that Kamisu-san feels offended by my gaze as well.

What if the will to harm me lies hidden beneath her perfectly adorned smile? No, that's not a "what if".

Kamisu-san came over to my place. Why? Simple.

To attack me.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," she says, probably to a certain degree guessing my internal train of thought.

She might be lying, I apprehend but the fact that it's "Reina Kamisu" who is saying it makes me calm down anyway.

"I am just curious to know what causes you to watch me like that."

"Did you come all the way here just to ask this...?"

"Among other things, yes," she nods.

"Why didn't you approach me at school...?"

In response to my question, she puts on a wry smile and replies, "You know Sakura-san, do you not? Certainly she would not be eager to see a conversation conducted between the two of us."

I see, she's right. Sakura Kawai is always hovering over her; it makes sense that she would have gotten wind of our conflict today.

"I do see where you are coming from, Kamisu-san... but I'm fairly sure that I'm not the only one watching you. What makes my case so special to you?"

"Yes, there are a lot of people who are watching me, but while those gazes might strike others as 'strange,' they are actually fairly common for me. For instance, I am very used to being approached like I was by your sister before."

I think I see her point. The looks Sakura Kawai gives her might be abnormal seen from others, but as someone exposed to them on a daily basis, they become ordinary and lose their abnormity.

"So... in other words, you are saying that the way I'm looking at you is odd even on top of that?"

"Yes, I suppose you can put it that way."

"OK, let me be blunt: are you troubled if I watch you?"

With an unchangingly mild expression, Kamisu-san shakes her head. "As I said, that is not my intent. In fact, the reason why I am here is probably the exact opposite of what you think it is."

"...The reason I think?"

"I do not intend to 'attack' you."

"Eh...?"

—Did she just say 'attack'?

Sure, I always and everywhere feel attacked, but most of that is just me picking up random sentences and interpreting them as attacks. No one other than me can possibly know about it

And yet—Kamisu-san clearly and readily said 'attack'.

"I know that Sakura-san is about to proceed against you. Therefore, I feared that you might fall into the mistaken belief that everyone is now set against you."

Ah, I see... Silly me, I just got ahead of myself. It's not at all surprising that she would use the term 'attack'; the 'attacks' I used to imagine to myself are becoming real starting today, after all.

In other words, my gut feeling that Kamisu-san has known all along that I'm hurt is nothing but an misconception.

...just a misconception.

"I am sure that it would be very sad and tough to consider yourself threatened by everyone. If, by any chance, there are other people joining Sakura-san in attacking you, then it will merely be a temporary trend. Neither will those attacks continue forever, nor should you care about them. I have come here to tell you this."

"...But knowing that doesn't make it any less painful when everyone denies me."

"All right, I promise."

"What do you mean...?"

"I promise to stay on your side."

Huh—?

I find myself awfully confused; after all, it's Reina Kamisu. The person who treats everyone as equals. What would prompt her to become my ally of all people...?

"Although I am sure that is no comfort to you..."

"But yes! Of course I couldn't be happier—"

—but why me? I think but I am unable to add this question.

"That is a relief. Ah... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

"Your question...?"

"I was wondering why you are watching me."

"T-There's not—" I stutter as I give it some thought myself.

That feeling I've been having toward Kamisu-san is not admiration for her beauty or wits, or anything else positive. If the looks I've been giving her bore a positive connotation, then Kamisu-san wouldn't take special heed of them and call them "odd", since she's used to positive glances.

Therefore, I suppose there is ill will in my glance, and that's also why Sakura Kawai took action against me.

"—There's not much to it... at least I can't put my finger on it."

As a consequence, I couldn't give her an honest answer even if I were able to put that feeling into words.

"You do not not know, either... I understand," she says, and then she smiles. As though that question never happened. "All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

We stand up and go to the entrance. Even something as mundane as putting on one's shoes turns into a captivating ceremony if done by Kamisu-san.

And even after talking so much, that strange feeling I've been having toward her hasn't disappeared.

No, if anything—

"Well then, goodbye Mitsui-san."

"Yeah, see your tomorrow at school."

After waving at me once, Kamisu-san disappears on the other side of the door.

"..."

On the other side. Yes, she and I, we stand on opposite shores and live in different worlds.

There's one thing that keeps me thinking: if there really is ill will in my glances, and if even Sakura Kawai noticed that ill will, then is it at all possible that someone as intelligent as Reina Kamisu would not notice, despite being directly concerned?

But then, why would she so clearly suggest to remain on my side whatever happens? How can she promise to support me, not to do any harm to me, when she noticed that I'm an attacker to her?

At the very least, I couldn't do that in her position. No... we couldn't do that.

"Hey, Yoshino?" I ask my sister who has been sneaking peeks at Kamisu-san.

"W-What is it, Onee-chan?" she says, wincing in fear of being reproached for her watching us.

"I'm not angry. I just wanted to hear your opinion on the girl that just was here."

"Ah, okay..."

"Yoshino. What impression did she make on you?"

Unsure what kind of answer I'm expecting of her, she only groans, "Um..."

"Don't worry; just tell me your first impression."

"O-Okay... I thought that she is pretty."

"...Well, fair enough."

It's a perfectly valid opinion—and probably the only thing she can say because she's afraid of offending anyone.

However, against my expectations, Yoshino wasn't done yet.

"So pretty that I can't believe she's human."

And thanks to that remark—I finally recognized why I felt like chewing on aluminum when seeing Reina Kamisu.

===3===

Sakura Kawai acted faster than expected—two days after our confrontation, there were only enemies around me.

Thrown into the slicing and piercing machinery that is our classroom during lunch break, only wearing standard clothes instead of an armor or a shield, I keep showering blows from all sides.

People are strong in groups. Naturally.

In reality, there are very few people who can defend themselves like heroes who swipe away hostile troops on the TV.  If the attacks are not of physical but of mental nature, however, then there is nothing you can do about it. You have to swallow the collective attacks.

Exclusion, blatant slander, mockery, dirty looks... much more than it is sly bullying, you might say that there is a law here that works toward excluding me; as a consequence of everyone denying me, the place is filled with a mood that stimulates further denial and that keeps tormenting me. Children and girls tend to be very sensitive to such peer pressure, and what I fear most is that I end up being led into denying myself by that air.

That is the law that Sakura Kawai has set in the Junseiwa School.

I keep being cut into pieces on the chopping board.

Chop, chop, chop.

Until yesterday, I would have probably already given up fighting back and instead decided to live with it.

However—

I look at Kamisu-san. Noticing my glance, she smiles at me.

She's my ally. An ally who does absolutely not reach out to me.

I do have a goal now. A strong aim is barely holding me together like glue, keeping me from breaking into pieces.

It's time to carry out—my experiment.

People are strong in groups.

However, that is a result of the group being strong as a whole. It doesn't imply that the individual members are strong. Therefore, not all members are as strong as Sakura Kawai when they are not with the rest of their group.

I'm a sheep. I'm the prey, not the wolf. But as long as we're among sheep, it should be possible even for me to attack other weak sheep who strayed from the pack.

"Haha..."

I may be only armed with a rusty paper knife that can't even cut paper anymore, but it still acts as a good weapon against a sheep that is completely unarmed.

I enter the corridor. "Isn't she creepy?" an underclassman says with her finger pointed at me. Her friends agree. Ah, I think I've seen her before. She's a member of the student council, which has degenerated to Reina Kamisu's personal protection force. I think her name was "Fuyuki"?

All right. I found my sheep.

"Hey you, you are making fun of me, aren't you?"

I press the sheep against the wall of the restroom. The lunch break is already over and classes have started. However, there are only special purpose rooms in the vicinity of this restroom, and these are all empty right now.

"W-What do you want from me?! Stop it please!"

As expected: she's not a predator but prey.

She's trying to appear firm because it's me, but alas, her eyes are giving away that she's scared and only add fuel to my urge to trouble her.

I'm good at finding this kind of person. After all, I'm talking with Yoshino every day.

"Is it fun mocking me before my eyes?"

"Stop it...! Let go of me!" she shouts, struggling with a pale face to break free instead of replying. Her resistance is weak, however, because she fears to anger me. "I-If you do me any harm, y-you will be treated even wor—"

Ah, look, this is a characteristic for prey: they immediately rely on others. They don't even try to find a solution by themselves.

"I don't care. Attacking me some more or some less won't make a difference."

But I crush her hope right away.

"D-Don't put on airs—EEK!"

I slap her face. It didn't put in much strength; there's no way she could get hurt by my rusty paper knife.

However, the fact that I used actual violence finished her off.

"How about an apologize first?"

The ashen sheep nods pathetically and repeats, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Now she can't defy me anymore. That was easier than I thought.

"Look, I don't mean to hurt you or to vent of my anger on you."

Fuyuki-san nods repeatedly, although I don't know if she's really listening.

"In fact, I'm actually trying to make your dream come true."

"...my...dream?" she asks confusedly.

"Yes. You're in the student council, right?"

"...Y-Yes... I'm the secretary."

"But in truth, the student council is just the fan club of Reina Kamisu, isn't it? Sakura Kawai being the prime example."

Fuyuki-san moves her head in an awkward way that could be taken both as nodding and as shaking.

"Don't dare deny it!"

"Y-Yes... it is true that we all have great respect for Reina-san..."

Hmph, I sneer and grab her chin. A short shriek escapes her lips because of the sudden touch, proving that she's even more scared.

"And so do you, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

My mouth distorts to a grin.

"If that's the case, then you surely wish for her to be all yours, right?"

Her eyes open widely.

"What? Why do you react like this?!"

"U-Um... I'm not seeing Reina-san in that light... like, I don't want her to be my lover or anything, you know..."

I think I know what Fuyuki-san is getting at. Reina Kamisu is far, far beyond anyone's reach and seems to be impossible to capture. She's just too grand to be deal with as a common person. Even if, purely hypothetically, someone were to win her heart, the law of exclusion would work even harder against that person than it does work against me. That person would be constantly attacked by everyone; and maybe even driven into death.

That's how hard it is to "capture" Reina Kamisu.

Besides, Reina Kamisu is not someone to make a relationship with, but someone to admire; one might be inclined to keep her near oneself for that purpose, but considering the effort required to maintain that state, it is much better to watch her from afar. Likewise, it's much better to watch elephants in a zoo rather than trying to keep it as a pet in a small house.

So, I'm sure Fuyuki-san is being honest with me. However—

"You. Surely. Wish. For. Her. To. Be. All. Yours. Right?"

—I don't care.

I press her chin a bit harder as I repeat my question word by word, all the while scowling right in her eyes.

"—Uh..."

She clearly thinks otherwise, but I've threatened her enough to keep her from disagreeing with me.

"You can't tell me that you have no such desire whatsoever?"

"—Uuh..."

Right. Somewhere, Fuyuki-san, too, feels the desire to keep Reina Kamisu near her.

People like Fuyuki-san, who were pampered all through their lives, tend to be very bad at telling lies. As a result, she has trouble denying my claim that has a grain of truth in it, all the more because she's scared on top of that.

"Hehe... I'll help you," I say with a distorted smile as I let go of her chin.

"...Help me with what...?" she asks anxiously.

"Hm? Isn't it obvious?"

I clearly state my intent.

"—With your love confession."

I'm very sorry, but you can emit as much despair as you want, I'm not going to change my plans.

But I know for certain that you won't escape. Not because you're so scared of me. You've been craving for this, haven't you? For an excuse to confess your love to Reina Kamisu; for a permit that frees you of all blame in the improbable case that you win her over.

—For that bewitching masterpiece that is going to ruin you.

After school, I asked Kamisu-san to follow me to the back of the gym, which is the—admittedly cliched—place I'd chosen for the confession to take place. While I was talking with her, the other girls around her kept frowning at me with blatant hostility.

Needless to say, their hostile attitude hurt me, but fortunately, my goal is of much higher importance to me right now, so I don't have time to think about the pain... but I'm sure that this scratch is going to open once I'm back home, turning into a gaping wound.

Kamisu-san's surroundings urged her not to listen to the request of someone they had deemed a dangerous person, but she adhered to her promise of being my ally (for now), and followed me.

Perfect, looks like I can conduct my experiment.

"Mitsui-san?" Kamisu-san asks as we walk. "Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it."

"I see... I thought that you wanted to consult me about a way to improve the situation."

"Would we find a solution? After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

"..."

She has a point. Most likely, those superficial feelings wouldn't persist long when the general mood changed.

...But then again, is their hatred against me superficial? Isn't it possible that I have made myself those enemies before this incident and was only left alone because their hostility hasn't been united? Judging from the speed at which they assembled, they must have taken issue with me outside the incident with Sakura Kawai.

"Besides—" Kamisu-san continues, seeing that I'm at a loss for words.

"—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

That she says with stunning ease; and it's nothing but a truth.

She does have the power to do just that.

Actually, I wanted to discuss this matter some more, but we reached the back of the gym where Fuyuki-san is already waiting. On noticing her, Kamisu-san gives me a brief look. She remains silent, but I'm sure she has grasped the situation.

I scowl at Fuyuki-san so that she won't give in to her nervousness and escape. Kamisu-san seems to have noticed, but she doesn't say anything—as I expected.

"Sorry for... calling you out to such a place," Fuyuki-san says reluctantly.

"No, I do not mind at all," Kamisu-san replies in a casual manner. Apparently, they know each other pretty well, since she's a member of the student council.

"Um... Reina-san."

"Yes?" Kamisu-san asks with a friendly voice and expression.

After much wavering and hesitating Fuyuki-san then eventually said:

".........I love you."

She must have drafted a much longer confession than that—with adornments and pretty clauses, with reasons and excuses; her head must have been full of them—but in the end, those were the only words she could muster in the face of Kamisu-san.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Those are words of courage, of sincerity. No matter if it was a forced confession or not, the underlying feelings are real.

In response to that—

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

—Kamisu-san smiled sadly.

"Gh..." Fuyuki-san groans as she drops her gaze. "...Thank you...for your time..." she mutters in a hardly audible voice and ran off without raising her face once.

Out of the corner of my eye, I observe Kamisu-san looking after her.

—It's just as I thought.

"Mitsui-san?" she says after directing her eyes at me.

"...Yes?"

"Why did you force her to confess to me?"

"Ah, you noticed?"

"That I did," she says. "Fuyuki-san is... not someone who would confess of her own."

"I only gave her a little push because she didn't seem to have the courage!"

"What is it that you wanted to observe about me, taking advantage of her?"

That's Reina Kamisu for you; she can easily see through all my intentions. Hahaha.

"Also—"

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

Right, you also noticed that, didn't you?

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"That's what I wanted to hear. You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment."

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

Even after I said so, her expression hardly changed. Probably—because she did not know how to.

"...No soul? What do you mean?" she asks.

"Oh come on... Kamisu-san, your just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Reina Kamisu puts on a wry smile.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real," I explain.

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?" I ask.

"I do."

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

Kamisu-san remains silent, probably feeling forced to acknowledge my point.

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things... no?"

"Over-interpreting, you say? No, not at all. You couldn't care less about others. Whether I hate you or not, whether Fuyuki-san and Sakura Kawai idolize you or not, you simply do not care. Right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to treat everyone as equals."

"...I never intended to treat everyone equally to begin with."

"That's a flat out lie. You're perfect. Everyone will react the same when they see you: admiring your beauty and deeming you perfect. That's how everyone views you."

"You are exaggerating!"

"Oh, don't give me that. You're prefect, absolutely perfect, and in order to maintain that state, you abandoned your content; your soul. You realized that it's the soul that makes us all decompose physically and mentally! You do not deeply socializing with anyone, and if someone gives in to the temptation and comes too close to you, you bite them and corrode them with the perfectness that is you, propagating it in the process. That's how you maintain your state of perfectness."

"...You seem to have lost touch with reality, Mitsui-san... I admit that I might have a certain tendency to lack interest in other people, but that is all there is to it."

"No."

"Mitsui-san..."

"I mean, just look at all the power you have gained already. Who else apart from me at this school is not your subordinate?" I ask.

"That is exactly what I meant by 'over-interpreting.' Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

"They would."

"..."

Even Kamisu-san is left speechless in front of my straight answer; but surely not because she thinks I'm crazy, but because she doesn't know how to counter my argument.

After all, someone like Sakura Kawai would readily follow an order as simple as 'commit suicide,' and Kamisu-san is aware of that.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

===4===

I may have acted too carelessly.

Not only was I seen together with Fuyuki-san and when taking Kamisu-san to the back of the gym, I also disregarded the fact that Fuyuki-san is a member of the student council.

Therefore, this situation is not at all surprising. It's just that I was too occupied with Reina Kamisu and the disconcerting feeling I had.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

With these words, Sakura Kawai presses the club she is holding up against my nose. Ironically, they have taken me to the same place as I forced Fuyuki-san to confess: the back of the gym.

I am unable to oppose her; the pain from the stun gun they used on me when carrying me off has broken my will to resist.

The several students surrounding me are looking down at me with blatant hostility. Fuyuki-san is not among them. So she can't stay on the side of the predators after all... looks like Yoshino isn't going to resist me anytime soon, I think to myself, knowing well how awful that thought is.

"Do you really want to beat me with that thing? You do realize that you'll get yourself thrown out of school?" I counter with my remaining spirit. My rusty paper knife has long since broken, however, and can't even scratch them anymore.

"Only if I'm found out," she says with a distorted smile. "I don't think that will happen, though."

"Yeah, I see that you've made sure to have some of your subordinates keep watch. But... what if I tell someone?"

"I'll just have to prevent that, no?" she replies.

With a dirty smile, the girl standing next to Sakura Kawai produces a digital camera.

"...What are you going to do with this camera?"

"I heard your grandfather is quite the big wig in the Mitsui Group, Mitsui-senpai. Oh, but I also heard that your father was so busy gaining your grandfather's favor that he blew it with his wife and daughter of the big wig so much that he ended up moving out."

"Why do you know this...?"

"Your family is of such influence that a divorce is out of question. Don't you think that there is a market for naughty pictures of a young girl that belongs to such a remarkably influential family?"

"...Are you serious?"

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that question?" she answers coldly.

This can't be... real. I never thought something unhuman like this could occur outside of fiction. Even if there is some war with countless people dying, that doesn't directly affect me and the world I live in. The attacks that I am supposed to face are slander and pranks, and that alone was enough to inflict deadly damage on me...

But as a matter of fact, the bunch around me have already used a stun gun on me, and they are armed with a knife, a club and a digital camera.

Sakura Kawai scowls at me and asks, "Where is it going to be?"

"...What?"

"I asked you where you want your first blow!" she suddenly roars and kicks me in the stomach.

"Ugh..."

It hurts.

It hurts horribly.

It hurts incredibly.

This is... violence.

I always felt like I were in a small box, and I felt agonized by the people that were crammed into that box along with me. I hated that box. But in truth, I was protected by that box. Outside of it, I would have been beaten up and died in an instant.

But then where can I live in peace?

Nowhere, I'm sure. A weak person like me will be attacked and killed wherever she is.

I don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

"My head," I say bluntly.

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Apparently, she took this as a provocation; Sakura Kawai became red with anger. Oh my god, she's going to club my head for real, even though she won't get away with it if I die...

And so she raised the club and—

"What are you doing there?"

—stopped on the spot.

I look at the beautiful savior of my life.

"Kamisu...san..." I mutter.

Sakura Kawai takes the club down for the time being and gives Kamisu-san a troubled look: "Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!" Sakura Kawai shouts with a fire-red face, only to be looked at by Kamisu-san in a calm manner.

"If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's...because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," Kamisu-san repeats with a slightly stronger tone.

Sakura Kawai looks at Kamisu-san, after which she catches a glimpse of me just to return her gaze to Kamisu-san.

"......OK..." she eventually says, sulking like a scolded child.

Having heard that, her colleagues exchange glances and traipse after her as she leaves with a downhearted face.

Aah, what a non-independent bunch. They should all just die.

And like that, the two of us ended up in the same setup as the day before.

"Why... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

That was a superfluous question.

As a proof, Kamisu-san is smiling as she answers it:

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human."

"Hahaha..."

Incredibly. She's perfect.

She really does not have any interest in anyone. She doesn't give a damn about my view of her.

"...By the way, does that mean that you acknowledge what I said yesterday?"

Kamisu-san smiles wordlessly in response to my question.

Ah... her smile is so beautiful.

"Not human and soulless, huh...," I unwittingly mutter.

"I'm so jealous."

Kamisu-san gives me a slightly surprised glance upon hearing that mutter, "Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I can—do without a soul."

Suddenly, something Sakura Kawai had told me crosses my mind.

"I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

Heh, so in the end, she was right all along.

I was jealous.

I envied Reina Kamisu for not being hurt by anyone's words.

"I can't recover from this blow."

I'm done for. Sakura Kawai may have been stopped, but that only means that all that negative energy has not been vented; I will continue to bathe in her and her group's resentment, hurting myself, taking damage, driven into a corner.

It's June right now; that means that there's more than half a year until graduation. All the while until then, I will continue to be attacked, and once I've graduated, I may be released from them but new attackers will appear in their places. The attacks themselves won't stop—the person executing them will simply change.

Now and forever—as long as I am who I am—I will keep throwing myself into the spears others have thrown at someone else, getting hurt in the process, and attacking them myself until they really aim their spears at no one else but me.

This is how I'm done for.

If that is what makes me human, if that means that I have a soul—

—then I can well do without this... rotten soul.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

That's an honest wish of mine, and in response to that heartfelt mutter, Reina Kamisu—

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

—laughed.

"Huh...?"

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

That's not it. I wasn't surprised by her offer.

Did Reina Kamisu just... laugh?

She was always smiling; not because she seemed delighted or amused or anything like that, however, but because smiling is her neutral expression.

I think this is the first time I've seen her expressing real emotion.

The way she laughed was of course beautiful too. Beautiful indeed... but something about it struck me as incongruous, unbalanced, and filled me with disgust. Although I can't put my finger on what that is.

However, I decide to forget my misgivings for now and ask her about her offer instead.

"It's easy to erase one's soul...?"

"Yes, it is easy to do what you would define as 'erasing one's soul.' You just have to drop all your interest in others, and that can be done easily."

"That's... absurd."

However, Kamisu-san does absolutely not look like she's joking. And—she looks like she could do that any moment.

"But do you not agree that if, for the sake of argument, you lost all your five senses, you would not even be able to take an interest in others, since you could not feel anything?"

"Well, yeah, but I think that's a really grotesque example..."

"Yes, but I am still right, no?" she laughs and continues:

"I will help you get there!"

After that, Kamisu-san took me to an empty music room. Apparently, she was entrusted with the keys because she practiced the piano every day there—a feat that only someone as esteemed as she can accomplish.

In the end, she disappeared somewhere, saying, "Concentrate on your surroundings."

While getting sinister looks from Beethoven and his composer colleagues, I ponder about the meaning of her words. Concentrate? What on earth is she scheming? There's no way a "human" could do something like erasing someone's soul...

Or do you want to tell me that Reina Kamisu is unhuman for real and not just metaphorically?

Yesterday she evaded the argument, but I got the impression that today she was kind of admitting that she does not care about others. And she "laughed."

What is the meaning of this... what is the meaning of her revealing her true face only to me? Isn't there perhaps—a really grave meaning behind all this?

Why... why am I here, all alone?

Because Kamisu-san took me here, of course.

Hey... What if the thing I discovered was something that Reina Kamisu wanted to keep secret no matter what? What if she was perfectly aware of the reason for my looks when she came over to my place? What if she only pretended to be my ally in order to observe me? What if she was deliberately controlling Sakura Kawai and the others with a certain goal in mind? What is she's really not human?

If all that is true, then—

—she's going to erase my soul.

I feel like Beethoven and Mozart and Händel and Kosaku Yamada are laughing at me. Do their pictures perhaps have a soul, considering that their eyeballs are said to move in every list of school wonders? Maybe they are hurt whenever we call them "scary" or insult their haircuts, and avenge themselves by moving their eyes?

Please, don't look at me. I'm much, much easier hurt than you guys, since I still have a body.

Perhaps Reina Kamisu is controlling them in order to take my soul somewhere? Maybe. I feel it wouldn't be impossible to her.

All of a sudden—I heard several screams outside.

Curious as to what is going on, I look out of the window. I should have acted with more care; because then I would have easily noticed that Kamisu-san's order to concentrate on my surroundings was referring to nothing else but those screams. I was acting exactly as she wanted me to, digging my own grave.

I opened the window.

And then—my soul was erased.

"—Haha..."

I see now.

So that was your plan.

"Hahaha..."

Reina Kamisu tore my soul out of my body and took it with her.

That must have been her goal at this school; and she is going to continue collecting others' souls to return to her real form.

Right? I ask the person before my eyes.

—She responds with an upside down smile.

Others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others.

Hey all of you, is there a reason why you exist? Do your words bear any meaning when you are all destined to be harvested by Reina Kamisu? Of course not. Your lives have no meaning at all. You, too, are crammed in little boxes where you hurt others and get hurt by others. Your Reina Kamisu's subordinates, her servants, her slaves. We're all of no import whatsoever. Meaningless humans.

There's no reason why I should listen to what other worthless people say.

Reina Kamisu is right in every possible way. Only her own words are of substance, and that's why everyone around her was meaningless to her.

Yeah, that's right.

That's the truth.

Right?

And there she goes—there she falls.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Plomp. And as the screams grew even louder—

—I lost all my feelings for good.

===5===

It's June.

As I stand protected under an umbrella, I ponder where the rain, which shows no sign of stopping, is headed—while gazing at the white outlines of a person that have been drawn on the concrete ground near the sakura trees.

The sakura trees have long since lost their bloom and instead put on green leaves. But no one is looking at them. They exist solely for spring and are only planted here for that purpose. As such, they are forgotten during the period when they're not magnificent and become a meaningless piece of scenery.

The trees cried as the rain beat down on them.

There's no doubt that the Junseiwa School is about to fall apart.

It's an undeniable fact that Reina Kamisu jumped down. There have been several witnesses, and above all, there was a corpse in the middle of the carpet of blood spreading below. And that dead body belonged to Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu died.

The absolute ruler, the absolute law, disappeared. As a result, the Junseiwa School has gotten caught up in confusion and is about to collapse.

And I am sure that she did all of that deliberately. In the face of her goal, everything is petty and of no import.

This isn't the end; it's the start. From here on, Reina Kamisu's real goal will become apparent. I don't know what will happen to me in the process, but I'm sure that I could struggle against her as much as I wanted and still be dancing to her tune. It's all her plan. It's all fate.

The die is cast.

Therefore, I won't do anything.

I don't care about all that stuff anymore.

Bereft of my soul, I don't care anymore.

Come to think of it—not that it matters—people with grudges against me keep appearing because I was the last person who spoke to Reina Kamisu.

The hatred and the hostility against me has become so blatant by now that even the teachers are slowly noticing. What a waste of time. I couldn't care less. As if your brittle spears could ever hurt me when I'm soulless and transparent. Oh boy, you should all just die.

I take notes of the lesson that is taking place. Now that I think about it, I've neglected studying a bit recently. I have to get more serious. I don't feel like thinking anymore; I'll just follow the rails laid out for me.

After our classes—which I followed carefully—the prime example of a trivial person came to me.

"It's your fault that Reina-san died!" Sakura Kawai roars as she enters my classroom.

Oh boy, what a noisy girl. I was ignoring her, but I guess I ought to respond to her.

"Even if that's true, what of it?"

"...What did you say?" she asks with a red face as she draws near. It's getting old.

"Haha..."

"W-What's so funny?!"

"What can you do? What can a fox who borrowed the authority of a tiger do, now that Reina Kamisu is no more?"

"Don't mess with me! I still have colleagues who follow me!"

"Even though Reina Kamisu abandoned you?"

"...What do you mean by that?"

"You don't get it, or what? And you call yourself the representative of Kamisu-san's fan club? Looks like you were blinded by her superficial beauty, eh?"

I continue with absolute certainty:

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

"Wha—?!"

Oh wow, looks like she really didn't understand. Pathetic.

"That's absurd, now! Don't make up things!"

"Absurd? Haha... you're quite the funny one, aren't you?"

"But I'm right! How do you explain her corpse then?!" she asks in response.

"Beats me. But listen, she would never end her life for someone else's sake, nor would she despair and kill herself when she doesn't even care about others. Well? That leaves only the option that I brought up."

The red in her face slowly drains and changes into white instead.

"You're—out of your mind," she mutters.

"I'm not the one who's insane," I answer bluntly.

"Are you saying that I'm the one who lost her mind?!"

"You could say that, but in truth—we have all lost our minds."

She grows even paler.

"We have been too long at this school that was pervaded by Reina Kamisu. We're beyond rescue! ...You, too, will realize soon enough that she isn't dead. She's only watching us from afar for the time being. She might approach us again someday, with a smile."

"C-Cut out this crap... I'm going to kill you!"

"Good luck with that. But I'm going to defend myself because I don't like pain. I guess I'll make sure to carry a knife around since you just threatened me."

"Gh! What is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?!"

"Me? I'm the same as you! Just another student going to the Junseiwa School. A human. And—a subordinate of Reina Kamisu's."

In the end, Sakura Kawai spit out a final insult before she left and stopped to bother me.

The rain still hasn't stopped.

Sakura leaves have fallen on the outlined figure on the ground, but unlike the blossoms, which are said to be beautiful even after scattering, they don't stir any emotion inside me.

The rain still shows no sign of stopping.

—Reina Kamisu scattered here.

But while it is true that she threw herself down here, was it really then that she threw her body away? Couldn't it be that she did so in the past or will do so in the future?

I don't know. I also don't know whether it was she herself that scattered or just her magnificent blossoms.

But there is one thing I do know.

"We will meet again, won't we?" I mutter in a voice that is drowned by the rain.

However—

"—Yes."

A voice that must be an illusion reaches me, causing me to raise my head.

Of course, there is no trace of anyone. All I can see is a tree.

"Hahaha..." I laugh toward the sakura tree.

The blossom-less sakura tree somehow resembled Reina Kamisu's smile.

<noinclude>
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|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui

2016-01-02T16:49:19Z

EusthEnoptEron:

==Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui==

===1===

Voices are like invisible razor blades to me.

We are all alone from birth to death, and even though we can't really understand each other we are still forced to associate all along the way. There are only two ways out: biological death or social death.

The world is brimming with people observing me, no matter where I escape.

And again, another day starts where I am forced to blend into a group.

I am suffocating, crammed into a tiny, narrow box, our classroom, together with various people who keep attacking me.

We're on a small break right now. Girls are noisy beings, and as such, even the high level of this school doesn't stop them from nattering away with their shrill voices. Female voices are—perhaps because they're higher than male voices—very sharp. Sharp like razorblades.

Laughter. Certainly not directed at me. But it sounds to me like they're sneering at me.

"Your face is a mess today, isn't it?", "Stop spreading bad mood," "Aren't her legs quite fat?", "She completely messed up that question there, didn't she? And she sucks at English, anyway," "Isn't something smelling funny here?" "I bet she's a slut," "Disgusting," "Gross," "Sickening."

They're not saying these things against me. They're not saying them against me. I'm not as odd as to be called such things.

But my imagination won't stop taking their voices as attacks against me.

Stop it! Don't talk in front of me!

"Stop being so noisy!"

A shout reverberates, shrouding the classroom in silence... with my voice.

Astonishment and some discontent for being yelled at without a reason shows on their faces. But as expected from Junseiwa students, not a single one of them shows any anger. Instead, they resume their conversations with quieter voices than before.

But it's not like they don't care. Deep inside, they must hate me; they must feel the urge to attack me.

And like this, I continue to get myself into a jam. In order not to get hurt, I isolate myself from others and keep everyone away. But by doing so, I also lose the chance to find someone who understands me and supports me, and I stay in the dark about what they think of me. As a result, anxiety keeps growing.

"She pisses me off!" someone groans and others laugh in response.

My body tenses up.

No, that wasn't directed at me. Please, be concise! It sounds to me like you said "That Mitsui bitch pisses me off." That's what it gets converted to in my head.

I cover my ears in a manner that doesn't get noticed, even though no one is looking at me. Why am I so sensitive? Why isn't everyone just gentle to me? I wish someone would appear who understands how delicate I am, but such a person does not exist. Instead, I am thought to be a rude and strong girl and keep being injured—be it wittingly or unwittingly—because they don't bother looking closer at me.

That's why I gaze at Reina Kamisu.

Today, she is talking with the members of Hashigami-san's group. Reina Kamisu, an exceptional girl, has pulled off the feat of not belonging to a group and still getting along with everyone. ...No, she's much more than just exceptional.

I know—no, everyone knows—that she would never hurt anyone. In other words, she wouldn't hurt me either.

Reina Kamisu is a girl who seems to made purely of ideals.

She, our image of "perfection," does not belong to anyone's group. She isn't biased. Reina Kamisu is always neutral toward anyone. Therefore, she wouldn't hurt anyone.

Reina Kamisu would not pull me up if I held out my hand; but she wouldn't shake off my hand either.

That's why I can gaze at her at ease.

Noticing my glance, she suddenly returns my look. I would have quickly averted my eyes had it been someone else, but if it's her, I don't have to fear anything and can keep up eye contact for a while.

Kamisu-san beautifully smiles at me.

Ah, she's so beautiful.

That was enough to make me feel vindicated.

All of a sudden—something stone-like forcibly enters my head.

It's a stone. If I shake my head, it rolls around inside and damages my brains. Quick, I have to get rid of it. Of what? Of the cause that made this happen.

The cause is—

...Huh? Why? Isn't she the only one who will never stand against me...? Yes, that's exactly what distinguishes her from everyone else.

She may be different, but I don't care. The problem is that something about her is being detected by me as a stone, as "harm".

Why—?

I look at her again.

She is still smiling beautifully at me.

===2===

"Who do you think you are?"

A few days after I started feeling something bizarre about Reina Kamisu, I was suddenly approached on the corridor during lunch break. The girl who approached me didn't show the least of restraint and just blocked my way, seething with irritation.

An attacker. There's no doubting it.

However, the attacker isn't one of my classmates, who must have accumulated frustration against me, but a freshman named Sakura Kawai.

"Hah? Careful what you say now!"

If it's a real attack and not just my delusions, I can counter to my heart's content and ensure that the attacker will stop in the future.

I can fight. Even though I might get hurt in the process.

Sakura Kawai, however, doesn't wince. "I know about the dirty look you're giving Reina-san!"

"Filthy look? What are you talking about?"

"I think I expressed myself clearly enough! I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

"Jealous?"

She's right in that I often look at Kamisu-san. I have been watching her even more these days because I wanted to find out the cause for what's bothering me about her, in addition to my urge to be vindicated, but she couldn't be farther off by calling this jealousy.

"Know your place, okay? Even if you're the student council president, you're still younger than me. Don't you think you're a bit insolent?" I argue.

"I don't wish to be rude toward an upperclassman, either, but there are things that I just can't let pass."

"Things you can't let pass? And that would be me, or what?"

"Yes! Just think about it. Reina-san is a wonderful person. I have so much respect for her, she's my inspiration".

Ah, so Sakura Kawai is one of them. It's obvious looking how she follows Kamisu-san around everywhere: Sakura Kawai is a firm "believer" of Reina Kamisu.

The number of Reina Kamisu's "believers" at this school is everything but small. No, you could say they're the majority.

It might be a nasty comparison, but if one were to compare Reina Kamisu's charisma with poisonous gas, the gas would be so strong that breathing in 0.1mg would be enough to kill a person with a likelihood of 99.999%. If released in a town, the whole town would die out. In addition, the virulence would be extremely high as well; just touching an infected person would get you killed.

I'm exaggerating? Perhaps. But anyone close to her would unanimously nod at this comparison.

Anyway. Being locked into this closed environment, Reina Kamisu is fulfilling and corroding the school without leaving out a gap.

What's the obvious consequence?

Reina Kamisu attains an absolute status within this small community. As a matter of fact, she is the law and driving force at the Junseiwa School.

"I... no, we won't let you get through with this! Scowling on Reina-san... Aah, I'm disgusted just by thinking of it! Anyway, we won't let you look down at Reina-san! No one can deny her. What makes you think that someone as petty as you could?"

"...What did you just say?! Besides, you're completely wrong. I'm not looking down at her at all."

"I'm not deceived that easily!"

"But you're really wrong!"

"Cut out those lies!"

It's no use. This girl won't listen no matter what I say. She is already firmly convinced that I'm looking down on Kamisu-san.

But that's not true; I have great respect for her as well. After all, I'm just another member of this small, closed community.

Therefore, I'm not looking at Kamisu-san with scorn.

—Unless the odd thing I'm feeling about her is of a negative nature.

"...Look, it seems like you know what I'm talking about," Sakura Kawai reproaches me with conviction, apparently having noticed the slight doubts that showed on my face.

"...It's a misunderstanding!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Just apologize and swear to keep your eyes away from her!"

My patience is wearing thin. Who does she thin she is? She means nothing to Kamisu-san; it's not like she's her family or even just a friend of hers.

"Hmph! Even if I did scorn her, what of it? I wouldn't be bothering anyone with it, would I?"

"What did you just say...?"

"If someone is bothering Kamisu-san, then it's certainly not me, but you guys who stick to her like fish shit!"

"W-What?!"

Sakura Kawai's face turns red like a tomato.

—Oh no.

She isn't the type of attacker who gets afraid and stops attacking. I knew that and should have retreated at the right time, but I accidentally continued to hold against her.

And right now, I rubbed her the exact wrong way.

It's too late. She's going to keep attacking me, keep hurting me.

And on top of that—

I got too worked up and forgot who she is.

"...I went too far," I say apologetically, but my words don't reach her. She isn't open to apologizes anymore.

"...you scoffed at us."

Plural.

Right, this attacker is—the student council president.

"I will not forgive you for this..."

Her wailing before was a thousand times better than this. Now there is a deep, hateful tone in her voice that gives her hatred a firm shape.

Ah, it's over.

Up until now, I've simply been reacting over-sensitively to ambiguous remarks, interpreting them as attacks against me. Of course, some of those remarks must have been really directed at me, since I'm the type of person who makes herself a lot of enemies. However, in the majority of cases, it was just my overreacting that got me hurt.

But this is going to change now. I'm going to be under fire from all sides for real.

"She's making me angry," "What an insolent bitch," "Get out of here," "Piss off," "Go die in a fire," "Go west," "Die."

I'm going to really get such insults; after all, this attacker right before my eyes is the student council president. She's the second most powerful person here. If Sakura Kawai openly announces that she won't forgive me, then the number of attackers will grow. She does have the authority and the social network to do just that.

To make matters worse, Reina Kamisu's "believers" have uniform beliefs. If one of the central authorities like Sakura Kawai says that she won't forgive me, then the other "believers" are bound to share her will.

Inside this closed environment, it is an absolute taboo to get on the wrong side of Sakura Kawai.

Reina Kamisu treats everyone equally, but her followers can't emulate her deeds. Jesus Christ said that if someone slapped you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also, and yet the believers kept waging war. That's how it works. Sakura Kawai has the power that it takes to unite everyone against me under the pretext of protecting Reina Kamisu.

She is aware of that, too, and that's why she was able to act so bold against an upperclassman like me.

"...I'm sorry."

However, as expected, my apology only adds fuel to the flames.

"...Prepare yourself! I will teach you that there is no place for you in this school anymore," Sakura Kawai proclaimed.

That's not a threat. It's a decided fact.

In a few days from now—I will have no place anymore.

Once I got home, I shut myself into my room, plunked into my semi-double bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

"Aah..."

It's over... I can't take this anymore...

This place was a painful, exit-less box to begin with, but now I'm going to be lynched by everyone on top of it; even though all I want is not to be attacked, not to be hurt.

That's just horrible: If striking back in order to protect myself angered the other party so much that she now unites everyone against me, then what should I have done instead?

I don't know the answer, but I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this; that someday, someone would hate me for good and initiate an organized attack against me. At the very least, I had deemed it more probably than North Korea making an onslaught on Japan.

...I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this?

But that means that I didn't have a chance to begin with.

Fuck! Fuck! Are you kidding me?! Why does nobody treat me gently?! Why does nobody understand me?!

No, that's wrong... It's all my fault... I know, I know!

As I continue this pointless and endless train of thought, I clutch at my pillow so hard that it almost bursts.

Goddammit!

Knock, knock, goes my door all of a sudden. It must be my sister judging from the sound pattern.

"What?" I ask bluntly toward the door.

The door opens and my little sister, Yoshino, enters the room. "Um..." she mutters reluctantly as I scowl at her, still lying on my bed.

"Get the fuck out of here if you've got no business!" I shout, turning my frustration at my weak sister who is 3 years younger than me. As always.

"I-I am sorry..." she apologizes despite not being at fault.

A thought suddenly crosses my mind as I gaze at my downhearted sister: she will certainly lose all her self-confidence because of me and become a dejected person.

I'm sorry for that. But I'm not in an easy situation either, so it can't be helped, can it?

"So, what is it?" I ask again.

"Um, someone has come over to see you..."

"Someone...?"

Sakura Kawai crosses my mind.

Was she not satisfied with attacking me just at school? That's absurd... but I haven't made myself any friends that would go out of their way to come over here. So... it's well possible that Sakura Kawai is already done preparing her attack on me and has come here.

No... Please not! Don't torment me any more than this!

"...Onee-chan... quick..."

"I know! Just shut up!" Yoshino winces again at my sharp voice.

Yes, that's right! It's Yoshino's fault. I've only gotten myself into this situation because her lack of resistance gradually made more offensive!

While casting the blame on others in my head, I push Yoshino aside with my right hand and walk to the entrance.

What am I going to do? How am I going to handle this situation? I can no longer defend myself by attacking, that's for sure, but I don't know any other way. I'm not deft enough to ward off an attack. I'm the type of person who deliberately gets hit by a bullet in fear of the gunshot that would follow; that's why I have to take care of the attacker before she can fire a bullet no matter what!

Full with despair, I open the door and look the the visitor.

Time stopped.

"—Huh?"

I unwittingly react with the clichéd act of rubbing my eyes in disbelief and look once more at her.

"Hello," she says. With an absurdly beautiful smile.

"—Kamisu-san?"

"Please excuse my sudden visit, Mitsui-san. I take it that I must have surprised you?"

"I don't mind... but what brings you here?"

I try guessing her reason to visit me... but I fail to come up with anything plausible.

Kamisu-san treats everybody equally.

Of course, in her eyes I'm just another equal person. Therefore, there is no reason why should would come visit me.

However, as a matter of fact, she stands right before me, smiling.

"Would you be so kind as to let me in? While I do not mind talking right here, I am sure that you had rather take a seat and not have your family hear our conversation."

"Y-Yes..." I say, left with no other choice but to approve. While her way of speaking is incredibly polite, she doesn't seem to tolerate any dissent.

"..."

What is there to get so flustered about? Cool down: a classmate has come over to my place, that's all.

However—

Everyone who knows Reina Kamisu—or has just caught a glimpse of her at some point—will inevitably think the following: there must be a reason of utmost importance for her visiting me. A reason deeper than the reason of life itself.

I lead Kamisu-san to my room. Her every movement seems so harmonized that looking at her from this short distance disrupts the rhythm of my own heartbeat, making it pound randomly. As I wonder how many millions of yen one would make by selling her beautiful black hair to a jeweler, I let her into my room.

"What a lovely room," she praises me with a sincere smile, gently satisfying the pride I have in my room layout. She managed to stir me just by praising me.

I ask her to take a seat on my precious red sofa. She accepts my offer politely and sits down in a manner just as beautiful. For a while, we talk about my room, until Yoshino comes in and brings us some black tea in stead of my absent parents. Confronted with Kamisu-san's beautiful face, however, Yoshino gets startled and blushes as Kamisu-san gives her a smile.

After waiting for Yoshino to leave and taking a sip of the black tea, Kamisu-san says with a smile:

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

While attempting to calm down my racing heart, I look closely at Kamisu-san but fail to read anything off her mild expression.

"I know about the filthy look you're giving Reina-san!"

I start to ponder. If Sakura Kawai's complaint is the general consensus and not just a result of her deluded mind, then it would be highly probable that Kamisu-san feels offended by my gaze as well.

What if the will to harm me lies hidden beneath her perfectly adorned smile? No, that's not a "what if".

Kamisu-san came over to my place. Why? Simple.

To attack me.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," she says, probably to a certain degree guessing my internal train of thought.

She might be lying, I apprehend but the fact that it's "Reina Kamisu" who is saying it makes me calm down anyway.

"I am just curious to know what causes you to watch me like that."

"Did you come all the way here just to ask this...?"

"Among other things, yes," she nods.

"Why didn't you approach me at school...?"

In response to my question, she puts on a wry smile and replies, "You know Sakura-san, do you not? Certainly she would not be eager to see a conversation conducted between the two of us."

I see, she's right. Sakura Kawai is always hovering over her; it makes sense that she would have gotten wind of our conflict today.

"I do see where you are coming from, Kamisu-san... but I'm fairly sure that I'm not the only one watching you. What makes my case so special to you?"

"Yes, there are a lot of people who are watching me, but while those gazes might strike others as 'strange,' they are actually fairly common for me. For instance, I am very used to being approached like I was by your sister before."

I think I see her point. The looks Sakura Kawai gives her might be abnormal seen from others, but as someone exposed to them on a daily basis, they become ordinary and lose their abnormity.

"So... in other words, you are saying that the way I'm looking at you is odd even on top of that?"

"Yes, I suppose you can put it that way."

"OK, let me be blunt: are you troubled if I watch you?"

With an unchangingly mild expression, Kamisu-san shakes her head. "As I said, that is not my intent. In fact, the reason why I am here is probably the exact opposite of what you think it is."

"...The reason I think?"

"I do not intend to 'attack' you."

"Eh...?"

—Did she just say 'attack'?

Sure, I always and everywhere feel attacked, but most of that is just me picking up random sentences and interpreting them as attacks. No one other than me can possibly know about it

And yet—Kamisu-san clearly and readily said 'attack'.

"I know that Sakura-san is about to proceed against you. Therefore, I feared that you might fall into the mistaken belief that everyone is now set against you."

Ah, I see... Silly me, I just got ahead of myself. It's not at all surprising that she would use the term 'attack'; the 'attacks' I used to imagine to myself are becoming real starting today, after all.

In other words, my gut feeling that Kamisu-san has known all along that I'm hurt is nothing but an misconception.

...just a misconception.

"I am sure that it would be very sad and tough to consider yourself threatened by everyone. If, by any chance, there are other people joining Sakura-san in attacking you, then it will merely be a temporary trend. Neither will those attacks continue forever, nor should you care about them. I have come here to tell you this."

"...But knowing that doesn't make it any less painful when everyone denies me."

"All right, I promise."

"What do you mean...?"

"I promise to stay on your side."

Huh—?

I find myself awfully confused; after all, it's Reina Kamisu. The person who treats everyone as equals. What would prompt her to become my ally of all people...?

"Although I am sure that is no comfort to you..."

"But yes! Of course I couldn't be happier—"

—but why me? I think but I am unable to add this question.

"That is a relief. Ah... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

"You question...?"

"I was wondering why you are watching me."

"T-There's not—" I stutter as I give it some thought myself.

That feeling I've been having toward Kamisu-san is not admiration for her beauty or wits, or anything else positive. If the looks I've been giving her bore a positive connotation, then Kamisu-san wouldn't take special heed of them and call them "odd", since she's used to positive glances.

Therefore, I suppose there is ill will in my glance, and that's also why Sakura Kawai took action against me.

"—There's not much to it... at least I can't put my finger on it."

As a consequence, I couldn't give her an honest answer even if I were able to put that feeling into words.

"You do not not know, either... I understand," she says, and then she smiles. As though that question never happened. "All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

We stand up and go to the entrance. Even something as mundane as putting on one's shoes turns into a captivating ceremony if done by Kamisu-san.

And even after talking so much, that strange feeling I've been having toward her hasn't disappeared.

No, if anything—

"Well then, goodbye Mitsui-san."

"Yeah, see your tomorrow at school."

After waving at me once, Kamisu-san disappears on the other side of the door.

"..."

On the other side. Yes, she and I, we stand on opposite shores and live in different worlds.

There's one thing that keeps me thinking: if there really is ill will in my glances, and if even Sakura Kawai noticed that ill will, then is it at all possible that someone as intelligent as Reina Kamisu would not notice, despite being directly concerned?

But then, why would she so clearly suggest to remain on my side whatever happens? How can she promise to support me, not to do any harm to me, when she noticed that I'm an attacker to her?

At the very least, I couldn't do that in her position. No... we couldn't do that.

"Hey, Yoshino?" I ask my sister who has been sneaking peeks at Kamisu-san.

"W-What is it, Onee-chan?" she says, wincing in fear of being reproached for her watching us.

"I'm not angry. I just wanted to hear your opinion on the girl that just was here."

"Ah, okay..."

"Yoshino. What impression did she make on you?"

Unsure what kind of answer I'm expecting of her, she only groans, "Um..."

"Don't worry; just tell me your first impression."

"O-Okay... I thought that she is pretty."

"...Well, fair enough."

It's a perfectly valid opinion—and probably the only thing she can say because she's afraid of offending anyone.

However, against my expectations, Yoshino wasn't done yet.

"So pretty that I can't believe she's human."

And thanks to that remark—I finally recognized why I felt like chewing on aluminum when seeing Reina Kamisu.

===3===

Sakura Kawai acted faster than expected—two days after our confrontation, there were only enemies around me.

Thrown into the slicing and piercing machinery that is our classroom during lunch break, only wearing standard clothes instead of an armor or a shield, I keep showering blows from all sides.

People are strong in groups. Naturally.

In reality, there are very few people who can defend themselves like heroes who swipe away hostile troops on the TV.  If the attacks are not of physical but of mental nature, however, then there is nothing you can do about it. You have to swallow the collective attacks.

Exclusion, blatant slander, mockery, dirty looks... much more than it is sly bullying, you might say that there is a law here that works toward excluding me; as a consequence of everyone denying me, the place is filled with a mood that stimulates further denial and that keeps tormenting me. Children and girls tend to be very sensitive to such peer pressure, and what I fear most is that I end up being led into denying myself by that air.

That is the law that Sakura Kawai has set in the Junseiwa School.

I keep being cut into pieces on the chopping board.

Chop, chop, chop.

Until yesterday, I would have probably already given up fighting back and instead decided to live with it.

However—

I look at Kamisu-san. Noticing my glance, she smiles at me.

She's my ally. An ally who does absolutely not reach out to me.

I do have a goal now. A strong aim is barely holding me together like glue, keeping me from breaking into pieces.

It's time to carry out—my experiment.

People are strong in groups.

However, that is a result of the group being strong as a whole. It doesn't imply that the individual members are strong. Therefore, not all members are as strong as Sakura Kawai when they are not with the rest of their group.

I'm a sheep. I'm the prey, not the wolf. But as long as we're among sheep, it should be possible even for me to attack other weak sheep who strayed from the pack.

"Haha..."

I may be only armed with a rusty paper knife that can't even cut paper anymore, but it still acts as a good weapon against a sheep that is completely unarmed.

I enter the corridor. "Isn't she creepy?" an underclassman says with her finger pointed at me. Her friends agree. Ah, I think I've seen her before. She's a member of the student council, which has degenerated to Reina Kamisu's personal protection force. I think her name was "Fuyuki"?

All right. I found my sheep.

"Hey you, you are making fun of me, aren't you?"

I press the sheep against the wall of the restroom. The lunch break is already over and classes have started. However, there are only special purpose rooms in the vicinity of this restroom, and these are all empty right now.

"W-What do you want from me?! Stop it please!"

As expected: she's not a predator but prey.

She's trying to appear firm because it's me, but alas, her eyes are giving away that she's scared and only add fuel to my urge to trouble her.

I'm good at finding this kind of person. After all, I'm talking with Yoshino every day.

"Is it fun mocking me before my eyes?"

"Stop it...! Let go of me!" she shouts, struggling with a pale face to break free instead of replying. Her resistance is weak, however, because she fears to anger me. "I-If you do me any harm, y-you will be treated even wor—"

Ah, look, this is a characteristic for prey: they immediately rely on others. They don't even try to find a solution by themselves.

"I don't care. Attacking me some more or some less won't make a difference."

But I crush her hope right away.

"D-Don't put on airs—EEK!"

I slap her face. It didn't put in much strength; there's no way she could get hurt by my rusty paper knife.

However, the fact that I used actual violence finished her off.

"How about an apologize first?"

The ashen sheep nods pathetically and repeats, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Now she can't defy me anymore. That was easier than I thought.

"Look, I don't mean to hurt you or to vent of my anger on you."

Fuyuki-san nods repeatedly, although I don't know if she's really listening.

"In fact, I'm actually trying to make your dream come true."

"...my...dream?" she asks confusedly.

"Yes. You're in the student council, right?"

"...Y-Yes... I'm the secretary."

"But in truth, the student council is just the fan club of Reina Kamisu, isn't it? Sakura Kawai being the prime example."

Fuyuki-san moves her head in an awkward way that could be taken both as nodding and as shaking.

"Don't dare deny it!"

"Y-Yes... it is true that we all have great respect for Reina-san..."

Hmph, I sneer and grab her chin. A short shriek escapes her lips because of the sudden touch, proving that she's even more scared.

"And so do you, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

My mouth distorts to a grin.

"If that's the case, then you surely wish for her to be all yours, right?"

Her eyes open widely.

"What? Why do you react like this?!"

"U-Um... I'm not seeing Reina-san in that light... like, I don't want her to be my lover or anything, you know..."

I think I know what Fuyuki-san is getting at. Reina Kamisu is far, far beyond anyone's reach and seems to be impossible to capture. She's just too grand to be deal with as a common person. Even if, purely hypothetically, someone were to win her heart, the law of exclusion would work even harder against that person than it does work against me. That person would be constantly attacked by everyone; and maybe even driven into death.

That's how hard it is to "capture" Reina Kamisu.

Besides, Reina Kamisu is not someone to make a relationship with, but someone to admire; one might be inclined to keep her near oneself for that purpose, but considering the effort required to maintain that state, it is much better to watch her from afar. Likewise, it's much better to watch elephants in a zoo rather than trying to keep it as a pet in a small house.

So, I'm sure Fuyuki-san is being honest with me. However—

"You. Surely. Wish. For. Her. To. Be. All. Yours. Right?"

—I don't care.

I press her chin a bit harder as I repeat my question word by word, all the while scowling right in her eyes.

"—Uh..."

She clearly thinks otherwise, but I've threatened her enough to keep her from disagreeing with me.

"You can't tell me that you have no such desire whatsoever?"

"—Uuh..."

Right. Somewhere, Fuyuki-san, too, feels the desire to keep Reina Kamisu near her.

People like Fuyuki-san, who were pampered all through their lives, tend to be very bad at telling lies. As a result, she has trouble denying my claim that has a grain of truth in it, all the more because she's scared on top of that.

"Hehe... I'll help you," I say with a distorted smile as I let go of her chin.

"...Help me with what...?" she asks anxiously.

"Hm? Isn't it obvious?"

I clearly state my intent.

"—With your love confession."

I'm very sorry, but you can emit as much despair as you want, I'm not going to change my plans.

But I know for certain that you won't escape. Not because you're so scared of me. You've been craving for this, haven't you? For an excuse to confess your love to Reina Kamisu; for a permit that frees you of all blame in the improbable case that you win her over.

—For that bewitching masterpiece that is going to ruin you.

After school, I asked Kamisu-san to follow me to the back of the gym, which is the—admittedly cliched—place I'd chosen for the confession to take place. While I was talking with her, the other girls around her kept frowning at me with blatant hostility.

Needless to say, their hostile attitude hurt me, but fortunately, my goal is of much higher importance to me right now, so I don't have time to think about the pain... but I'm sure that this scratch is going to open once I'm back home, turning into a gaping wound.

Kamisu-san's surroundings urged her not to listen to the request of someone they had deemed a dangerous person, but she adhered to her promise of being my ally (for now), and followed me.

Perfect, looks like I can conduct my experiment.

"Mitsui-san?" Kamisu-san asks as we walk. "Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it."

"I see... I thought that you wanted to consult me about a way to improve the situation."

"Would we find a solution? After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

"..."

She has a point. Most likely, those superficial feelings wouldn't persist long when the general mood changed.

...But then again, is their hatred against me superficial? Isn't it possible that I have made myself those enemies before this incident and was only left alone because their hostility hasn't been united? Judging from the speed at which they assembled, they must have taken issue with me outside the incident with Sakura Kawai.

"Besides—" Kamisu-san continues, seeing that I'm at a loss for words.

"—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

That she says with stunning ease; and it's nothing but a truth.

She does have the power to do just that.

Actually, I wanted to discuss this matter some more, but we reached the back of the gym where Fuyuki-san is already waiting. On noticing her, Kamisu-san gives me a brief look. She remains silent, but I'm sure she has grasped the situation.

I scowl at Fuyuki-san so that she won't give in to her nervousness and escape. Kamisu-san seems to have noticed, but she doesn't say anything—as I expected.

"Sorry for... calling you out to such a place," Fuyuki-san says reluctantly.

"No, I do not mind at all," Kamisu-san replies in a casual manner. Apparently, they know each other pretty well, since she's a member of the student council.

"Um... Reina-san."

"Yes?" Kamisu-san asks with a friendly voice and expression.

After much wavering and hesitating Fuyuki-san then eventually said:

".........I love you."

She must have drafted a much longer confession than that—with adornments and pretty clauses, with reasons and excuses; her head must have been full of them—but in the end, those were the only words she could muster in the face of Kamisu-san.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Those are words of courage, of sincerity. No matter if it was a forced confession or not, the underlying feelings are real.

In response to that—

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

—Kamisu-san smiled sadly.

"Gh..." Fuyuki-san groans as she drops her gaze. "...Thank you...for your time..." she mutters in a hardly audible voice and ran off without raising her face once.

Out of the corner of my eye, I observe Kamisu-san looking after her.

—It's just as I thought.

"Mitsui-san?" she says after directing her eyes at me.

"...Yes?"

"Why did you force her to confess to me?"

"Ah, you noticed?"

"That I did," she says. "Fuyuki-san is... not someone who would confess of her own."

"I only gave her a little push because she didn't seem to have the courage!"

"What is it that you wanted to observe about me, taking advantage of her?"

That's Reina Kamisu for you; she can easily see through all my intentions. Hahaha.

"Also—"

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

Right, you also noticed that, didn't you?

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"That's what I wanted to hear. You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment."

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

Even after I said so, her expression hardly changed. Probably—because she did not know how to.

"...No soul? What do you mean?" she asks.

"Oh come on... Kamisu-san, your just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Reina Kamisu puts on a wry smile.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real," I explain.

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?" I ask.

"I do."

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

Kamisu-san remains silent, probably feeling forced to acknowledge my point.

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things... no?"

"Over-interpreting, you say? No, not at all. You couldn't care less about others. Whether I hate you or not, whether Fuyuki-san and Sakura Kawai idolize you or not, you simply do not care. Right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to treat everyone as equals."

"...I never intended to treat everyone equally to begin with."

"That's a flat out lie. You're perfect. Everyone will react the same when they see you: admiring your beauty and deeming you perfect. That's how everyone views you."

"You are exaggerating!"

"Oh, don't give me that. You're prefect, absolutely perfect, and in order to maintain that state, you abandoned your content; your soul. You realized that it's the soul that makes us all decompose physically and mentally! You do not deeply socializing with anyone, and if someone gives in to the temptation and comes too close to you, you bite them and corrode them with the perfectness that is you, propagating it in the process. That's how you maintain your state of perfectness."

"...You seem to have lost touch with reality, Mitsui-san... I admit that I might have a certain tendency to lack interest in other people, but that is all there is to it."

"No."

"Mitsui-san..."

"I mean, just look at all the power you have gained already. Who else apart from me at this school is not your subordinate?" I ask.

"That is exactly what I meant by 'over-interpreting.' Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

"They would."

"..."

Even Kamisu-san is left speechless in front of my straight answer; but surely not because she thinks I'm crazy, but because she doesn't know how to counter my argument.

After all, someone like Sakura Kawai would readily follow an order as simple as 'commit suicide,' and Kamisu-san is aware of that.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

===4===

I may have acted too carelessly.

Not only was I seen together with Fuyuki-san and when taking Kamisu-san to the back of the gym, I also disregarded the fact that Fuyuki-san is a member of the student council.

Therefore, this situation is not at all surprising. It's just that I was too occupied with Reina Kamisu and the disconcerting feeling I had.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

With these words, Sakura Kawai presses the club she is holding up against my nose. Ironically, they have taken me to the same place as I forced Fuyuki-san to confess: the back of the gym.

I am unable to oppose her; the pain from the stun gun they used on me when carrying me off has broken my will to resist.

The several students surrounding me are looking down at me with blatant hostility. Fuyuki-san is not among them. So she can't stay on the side of the predators after all... looks like Yoshino isn't going to resist me anytime soon, I think to myself, knowing well how awful that thought is.

"Do you really want to beat me with that thing? You do realize that you'll get yourself thrown out of school?" I counter with my remaining spirit. My rusty paper knife has long since broken, however, and can't even scratch them anymore.

"Only if I'm found out," she says with a distorted smile. "I don't think that will happen, though."

"Yeah, I see that you've made sure to have some of your subordinates keep watch. But... what if I tell someone?"

"I'll just have to prevent that, no?" she replies.

With a dirty smile, the girl standing next to Sakura Kawai produces a digital camera.

"...What are you going to do with this camera?"

"I heard your grandfather is quite the big wig in the Mitsui Group, Mitsui-senpai. Oh, but I also heard that your father was so busy gaining your grandfather's favor that he blew it with his wife and daughter of the big wig so much that he ended up moving out."

"Why do you know this...?"

"Your family is of such influence that a divorce is out of question. Don't you think that there is a market for naughty pictures of a young girl that belongs to such a remarkably influential family?"

"...Are you serious?"

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that question?" she answers coldly.

This can't be... real. I never thought something unhuman like this could occur outside of fiction. Even if there is some war with countless people dying, that doesn't directly affect me and the world I live in. The attacks that I am supposed to face are slander and pranks, and that alone was enough to inflict deadly damage on me...

But as a matter of fact, the bunch around me have already used a stun gun on me, and they are armed with a knife, a club and a digital camera.

Sakura Kawai scowls at me and asks, "Where is it going to be?"

"...What?"

"I asked you where you want your first blow!" she suddenly roars and kicks me in the stomach.

"Ugh..."

It hurts.

It hurts horribly.

It hurts incredibly.

This is... violence.

I always felt like I were in a small box, and I felt agonized by the people that were crammed into that box along with me. I hated that box. But in truth, I was protected by that box. Outside of it, I would have been beaten up and died in an instant.

But then where can I live in peace?

Nowhere, I'm sure. A weak person like me will be attacked and killed wherever she is.

I don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

"My head," I say bluntly.

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Apparently, she took this as a provocation; Sakura Kawai became red with anger. Oh my god, she's going to club my head for real, even though she won't get away with it if I die...

And so she raised the club and—

"What are you doing there?"

—stopped on the spot.

I look at the beautiful savior of my life.

"Kamisu...san..." I mutter.

Sakura Kawai takes the club down for the time being and gives Kamisu-san a troubled look: "Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!" Sakura Kawai shouts with a fire-red face, only to be looked at by Kamisu-san in a calm manner.

"If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's...because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," Kamisu-san repeats with a slightly stronger tone.

Sakura Kawai looks at Kamisu-san, after which she catches a glimpse of me just to return her gaze to Kamisu-san.

"......OK..." she eventually says, sulking like a scolded child.

Having heard that, her colleagues exchange glances and traipse after her as she leaves with a downhearted face.

Aah, what a non-independent bunch. They should all just die.

And like that, the two of us ended up in the same setup as the day before.

"Why... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

That was a superfluous question.

As a proof, Kamisu-san is smiling as she answers it:

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human."

"Hahaha..."

Incredibly. She's perfect.

She really does not have any interest in anyone. She doesn't give a damn about my view of her.

"...By the way, does that mean that you acknowledge what I said yesterday?"

Kamisu-san smiles wordlessly in response to my question.

Ah... her smile is so beautiful.

"Not human and soulless, huh...," I unwittingly mutter.

"I'm so jealous."

Kamisu-san gives me a slightly surprised glance upon hearing that mutter, "Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I can—do without a soul."

Suddenly, something Sakura Kawai had told me crosses my mind.

"I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

Heh, so in the end, she was right all along.

I was jealous.

I envied Reina Kamisu for not being hurt by anyone's words.

"I can't recover from this blow."

I'm done for. Sakura Kawai may have been stopped, but that only means that all that negative energy has not been vented; I will continue to bathe in her and her group's resentment, hurting myself, taking damage, driven into a corner.

It's June right now; that means that there's more than half a year until graduation. All the while until then, I will continue to be attacked, and once I've graduated, I may be released from them but new attackers will appear in their places. The attacks themselves won't stop—the person executing them will simply change.

Now and forever—as long as I am who I am—I will keep throwing myself into the spears others have thrown at someone else, getting hurt in the process, and attacking them myself until they really aim their spears at no one else but me.

This is how I'm done for.

If that is what makes me human, if that means that I have a soul—

—then I can well do without this... rotten soul.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

That's an honest wish of mine, and in response to that heartfelt mutter, Reina Kamisu—

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

—laughed.

"Huh...?"

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

That's not it. I wasn't surprised by her offer.

Did Reina Kamisu just... laugh?

She was always smiling; not because she seemed delighted or amused or anything like that, however, but because smiling is her neutral expression.

I think this is the first time I've seen her expressing real emotion.

The way she laughed was of course beautiful too. Beautiful indeed... but something about it struck me as incongruous, unbalanced, and filled me with disgust. Although I can't put my finger on what that is.

However, I decide to forget my misgivings for now and ask her about her offer instead.

"It's easy to erase one's soul...?"

"Yes, it is easy to do what you would define as 'erasing one's soul.' You just have to drop all your interest in others, and that can be done easily."

"That's... absurd."

However, Kamisu-san does absolutely not look like she's joking. And—she looks like she could do that any moment.

"But do you not agree that if, for the sake of argument, you lost all your five senses, you would not even be able to take an interest in others, since you could not feel anything?"

"Well, yeah, but I think that's a really grotesque example..."

"Yes, but I am still right, no?" she laughs and continues:

"I will help you get there!"

After that, Kamisu-san took me to an empty music room. Apparently, she was entrusted with the keys because she practiced the piano every day there—a feat that only someone as esteemed as she can accomplish.

In the end, she disappeared somewhere, saying, "Concentrate on your surroundings."

While getting sinister looks from Beethoven and his composer colleagues, I ponder about the meaning of her words. Concentrate? What on earth is she scheming? There's no way a "human" could do something like erasing someone's soul...

Or do you want to tell me that Reina Kamisu is unhuman for real and not just metaphorically?

Yesterday she evaded the argument, but I got the impression that today she was kind of admitting that she does not care about others. And she "laughed."

What is the meaning of this... what is the meaning of her revealing her true face only to me? Isn't there perhaps—a really grave meaning behind all this?

Why... why am I here, all alone?

Because Kamisu-san took me here, of course.

Hey... What if the thing I discovered was something that Reina Kamisu wanted to keep secret no matter what? What if she was perfectly aware of the reason for my looks when she came over to my place? What if she only pretended to be my ally in order to observe me? What if she was deliberately controlling Sakura Kawai and the others with a certain goal in mind? What is she's really not human?

If all that is true, then—

—she's going to erase my soul.

I feel like Beethoven and Mozart and Händel and Kosaku Yamada are laughing at me. Do their pictures perhaps have a soul, considering that their eyeballs are said to move in every list of school wonders? Maybe they are hurt whenever we call them "scary" or insult their haircuts, and avenge themselves by moving their eyes?

Please, don't look at me. I'm much, much easier hurt than you guys, since I still have a body.

Perhaps Reina Kamisu is controlling them in order to take my soul somewhere? Maybe. I feel it wouldn't be impossible to her.

All of a sudden—I heard several screams outside.

Curious as to what is going on, I look out of the window. I should have acted with more care; because then I would have easily noticed that Kamisu-san's order to concentrate on my surroundings was referring to nothing else but those screams. I was acting exactly as she wanted me to, digging my own grave.

I opened the window.

And then—my soul was erased.

"—Haha..."

I see now.

So that was your plan.

"Hahaha..."

Reina Kamisu tore my soul out of my body and took it with her.

That must have been her goal at this school; and she is going to continue collecting others' souls to return to her real form.

Right? I ask the person before my eyes.

—She responds with an upside down smile.

Others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others.

Hey all of you, is there a reason why you exist? Do your words bear any meaning when you are all destined to be harvested by Reina Kamisu? Of course not. Your lives have no meaning at all. You, too, are crammed in little boxes where you hurt others and get hurt by others. Your Reina Kamisu's subordinates, her servants, her slaves. We're all of no import whatsoever. Meaningless humans.

There's no reason why I should listen to what other worthless people say.

Reina Kamisu is right in every possible way. Only her own words are of substance, and that's why everyone around her was meaningless to her.

Yeah, that's right.

That's the truth.

Right?

And there she goes—there she falls.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Plomp. And as the screams grew even louder—

—I lost all my feelings for good.

===5===

It's June.

As I stand protected under an umbrella, I ponder where the rain, which shows no sign of stopping, is headed—while gazing at the white outlines of a person that have been drawn on the concrete ground near the sakura trees.

The sakura trees have long since lost their bloom and instead put on green leaves. But no one is looking at them. They exist solely for spring and are only planted here for that purpose. As such, they are forgotten during the period when they're not magnificent and become a meaningless piece of scenery.

The trees cried as the rain beat down on them.

There's no doubt that the Junseiwa School is about to fall apart.

It's an undeniable fact that Reina Kamisu jumped down. There have been several witnesses, and above all, there was a corpse in the middle of the carpet of blood spreading below. And that dead body belonged to Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu died.

The absolute ruler, the absolute law, disappeared. As a result, the Junseiwa School has gotten caught up in confusion and is about to collapse.

And I am sure that she did all of that deliberately. In the face of her goal, everything is petty and of no import.

This isn't the end; it's the start. From here on, Reina Kamisu's real goal will become apparent. I don't know what will happen to me in the process, but I'm sure that I could struggle against her as much as I wanted and still be dancing to her tune. It's all her plan. It's all fate.

The die is cast.

Therefore, I won't do anything.

I don't care about all that stuff anymore.

Bereft of my soul, I don't care anymore.

Come to think of it—not that it matters—people with grudges against me keep appearing because I was the last person who spoke to Reina Kamisu.

The hatred and the hostility against me has become so blatant by now that even the teachers are slowly noticing. What a waste of time. I couldn't care less. As if your brittle spears could ever hurt me when I'm soulless and transparent. Oh boy, you should all just die.

I take notes of the lesson that is taking place. Now that I think about it, I've neglected studying a bit recently. I have to get more serious. I don't feel like thinking anymore; I'll just follow the rails laid out for me.

After our classes—which I followed carefully—the prime example of a trivial person came to me.

"It's your fault that Reina-san died!" Sakura Kawai roars as she enters my classroom.

Oh boy, what a noisy girl. I was ignoring her, but I guess I ought to respond to her.

"Even if that's true, what of it?"

"...What did you say?" she asks with a red face as she draws near. It's getting old.

"Haha..."

"W-What's so funny?!"

"What can you do? What can a fox who borrowed the authority of a tiger do, now that Reina Kamisu is no more?"

"Don't mess with me! I still have colleagues who follow me!"

"Even though Reina Kamisu abandoned you?"

"...What do you mean by that?"

"You don't get it, or what? And you call yourself the representative of Kamisu-san's fan club? Looks like you were blinded by her superficial beauty, eh?"

I continue with absolute certainty:

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

"Wha—?!"

Oh wow, looks like she really didn't understand. Pathetic.

"That's absurd, now! Don't make up things!"

"Absurd? Haha... you're quite the funny one, aren't you?"

"But I'm right! How do you explain her corpse then?!" she asks in response.

"Beats me. But listen, she would never end her life for someone else's sake, nor would she despair and kill herself when she doesn't even care about others. Well? That leaves only the option that I brought up."

The red in her face slowly drains and changes into white instead.

"You're—out of your mind," she mutters.

"I'm not the one who's insane," I answer bluntly.

"Are you saying that I'm the one who lost her mind?!"

"You could say that, but in truth—we have all lost our minds."

She grows even paler.

"We have been too long at this school that was pervaded by Reina Kamisu. We're beyond rescue! ...You, too, will realize soon enough that she isn't dead. She's only watching us from afar for the time being. She might approach us again someday, with a smile."

"C-Cut out this crap... I'm going to kill you!"

"Good luck with that. But I'm going to defend myself because I don't like pain. I guess I'll make sure to carry a knife around since you just threatened me."

"Gh! What is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?!"

"Me? I'm the same as you! Just another student going to the Junseiwa School. A human. And—a subordinate of Reina Kamisu's."

In the end, Sakura Kawai spit out a final insult before she left and stopped to bother me.

The rain still hasn't stopped.

Sakura leaves have fallen on the outlined figure on the ground, but unlike the blossoms, which are said to be beautiful even after scattering, they don't stir any emotion inside me.

The rain still shows no sign of stopping.

—Reina Kamisu scattered here.

But while it is true that she threw herself down here, was it really then that she threw her body away? Couldn't it be that she did so in the past or will do so in the future?

I don't know. I also don't know whether it was she herself that scattered or just her magnificent blossoms.

But there is one thing I do know.

"We will meet again, won't we?" I mutter in a voice that is drowned by the rain.

However—

"—Yes."

A voice that must be an illusion reaches me, causing me to raise my head.

Of course, there is no trace of anyone. All I can see is a tree.

"Hahaha..." I laugh toward the sakura tree.

The blossom-less sakura tree somehow resembled Reina Kamisu's smile.

<noinclude>
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|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui

2016-01-02T16:12:06Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* 2 */

==Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui==

===1===

Voices are like invisible razor blades to me.

We are all alone from birth to death, and even though we can't really understand each other we are still forced to associate all along the way. There are only two ways out: biological death or social death.

The world is brimming with people observing me, no matter where I escape.

And again, another day starts where I am forced to blend into a group.

I am suffocating, crammed into a tiny, narrow box, our classroom, together with various people who keep attacking me.

We're on a small break right now. Girls are noisy beings, and as such, even the high level of this school doesn't stop them from nattering away with their shrill voices. Female voices are—perhaps because they're higher than male voices—very sharp. Sharp like razorblades.

Laughter. Certainly not directed at me. But it sounds to me like they're sneering at me.

"Your face is a mess today, isn't it?", "Stop spreading bad mood," "Aren't her legs quite fat?", "She completely messed up that question there, didn't she? And she sucks at English, anyway," "Isn't something smelling funny here?" "I bet she's a slut," "Disgusting," "Gross," "Sickening."

They're not saying these things against me. They're not saying them against me. I'm not as odd as to be called such things.

But my imagination won't stop taking their voices as attacks against me.

Stop it! Don't talk in front of me!

"Stop being so noisy!"

A shout reverberates, shrouding the classroom in silence... with my voice.

Astonishment and some discontent for being yelled at without a reason shows on their faces. But as expected from Junseiwa students, not a single one of them shows any anger. Instead, they resume their conversations with quieter voices than before.

But it's not like they don't care. Deep inside, they must hate me; they must feel the urge to attack me.

And like this, I continue to get myself into a jam. In order not to get hurt, I isolate myself from others and keep everyone away. But by doing so, I also lose the chance to find someone who understands me and supports me, and I stay in the dark about what they think of me. As a result, anxiety keeps growing.

"She pisses me off!" someone groans and others laugh in response.

My body tenses up.

No, that wasn't directed at me. Please, be concise! It sounds to me like you said "That Mitsui bitch pisses me off." That's what it gets converted to in my head.

I cover my ears in a manner that doesn't get noticed, even though no one is looking at me. Why am I so sensitive? Why isn't everyone just gentle to me? I wish someone would appear who understands how delicate I am, but such a person does not exist. Instead, I am thought to be a rude and strong girl and keep being injured—be it wittingly or unwittingly—because they don't bother looking closer at me.

That's why I gaze at Reina Kamisu.

Today, she is talking with the members of Hashigami-san's group. Reina Kamisu, an exceptional girl, has pulled off the feat of not belonging to a group and still getting along with everyone. ...No, she's much more than just exceptional.

I know—no, everyone knows—that she would never hurt anyone. In other words, she wouldn't hurt me either.

Reina Kamisu is a girl who seems to made purely of ideals.

She, our image of "perfection," does not belong to anyone's group. She isn't biased. Reina Kamisu is always neutral toward anyone. Therefore, she wouldn't hurt anyone.

Reina Kamisu would not pull me up if I held out my hand; but she wouldn't shake off my hand either.

That's why I can gaze at her at ease.

Noticing my glance, she suddenly returns my look. I would have quickly averted my eyes had it been someone else, but if it's her, I don't have to fear anything and can keep up eye contact for a while.

Kamisu-san beautifully smiles at me.

Ah, she's so beautiful.

That was enough to make me feel vindicated.

All of a sudden—something stone-like forcibly enters my head.

It's a stone. If I shake my head, it rolls around inside and damages my brains. Quick, I have to get rid of it. Of what? Of the cause that made this happen.

The cause is—

...Huh? Why? Isn't she the only one who will never stand against me...? Yes, that's exactly what distinguishes her from everyone else.

She may be different, but I don't care. The problem is that something about her is being detected by me as a stone, as "harm".

Why—?

I look at her again.

She is still smiling beautifully at me.

===2===

"Who do you think you are?"

A few days after I started feeling something bizarre about Reina Kamisu, I was suddenly approached on the corridor during lunch break. The girl who approached me didn't show the least of restraint and just blocked my way, seething with irritation.

An attacker. There's no doubting it.

However, the attacker isn't one of my classmates, who must have accumulated frustration against me, but a freshman named Sakura Kawai.

"Hah? Careful what you say now!"

If it's a real attack and not just my delusions, I can counter to my heart's content and ensure that the attacker will stop in the future.

I can fight. Even though I might get hurt in the process.

Sakura Kawai, however, doesn't wince. "I know about the dirty look you're giving Reina-san!"

"Filthy look? What are you talking about?"

"I think I expressed myself clearly enough! I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

"Jealous?"

She's right in that I often look at Kamisu-san. I have been watching her even more these days because I wanted to find out the cause for what's bothering me about her, in addition to my urge to be vindicated, but she couldn't be farther off by calling this jealousy.

"Know your place, okay? Even if you're the student council president, you're still younger than me. Don't you think you're a bit insolent?" I argue.

"I don't wish to be rude toward an upperclassman, either, but there are things that I just can't let pass."

"Things you can't let pass? And that would be me, or what?"

"Yes! Just think about it. Reina-san is a wonderful person. I have so much respect for her, she's my inspiration".

Ah, so Sakura Kawai is one of them. It's obvious looking how she follows Kamisu-san around everywhere: Sakura Kawai is a firm "believer" of Reina Kamisu.

The number of Reina Kamisu's "believers" at this school is everything but small. No, you could say they're the majority.

It might be a nasty comparison, but if one were to compare Reina Kamisu's charisma with poisonous gas, the gas would be so strong that breathing in 0.1mg would be enough to kill a person with a likelihood of 99.999%. If released in a town, the whole town would die out. In addition, the virulence would be extremely high as well; just touching an infected person would get you killed.

I'm exaggerating? Perhaps. But anyone close to her would unanimously nod at this comparison.

Anyway. Being locked into this closed environment, Reina Kamisu is fulfilling and corroding the school without leaving out a gap.

What's the obvious consequence?

Reina Kamisu attains an absolute status within this small community. As a matter of fact, she is the law and driving force at the Junseiwa School.

"I... no, we won't let you get through with this! Scowling on Reina-san... Aah, I'm disgusted just by thinking of it! Anyway, we won't let you look down at Reina-san! No one can deny her. What makes you think that someone as petty as you could?"

"...What did you just say?! Besides, you're completely wrong. I'm not looking down at her at all."

"I'm not deceived that easily!"

"But you're really wrong!"

"Cut out those lies!"

It's no use. This girl won't listen no matter what I say. She is already firmly convinced that I'm looking down on Kamisu-san.

But that's not true; I have great respect for her as well. After all, I'm just another member of this small, closed community.

Therefore, I'm not looking at Kamisu-san with scorn.

—Unless the odd thing I'm feeling about her is of a negative nature.

"...Look, it seems like you know what I'm talking about," Sakura Kawai reproaches me with conviction, apparently having noticed the slight doubts that showed on my face.

"...It's a misunderstanding!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Just apologize and swear to keep your eyes away from her!"

My patience is wearing thin. Who does she thin she is? She means nothing to Kamisu-san; it's not like she's her family or even just a friend of hers.

"Hmph! Even if I did scorn her, what of it? I wouldn't be bothering anyone with it, would I?"

"What did you just say...?"

"If someone is bothering Kamisu-san, then it's certainly not me, but you guys who stick to her like fish shit!"

"W-What?!"

Sakura Kawai's face turns red like a tomato.

—Oh no.

She isn't the type of attacker who gets afraid and stops attacking. I knew that and should have retreated at the right time, but I accidentally continued to hold against her.

And right now, I rubbed her the exact wrong way.

It's too late. She's going to keep attacking me, keep hurting me.

And on top of that—

I got too worked up and forgot who she is.

"...I went too far," I say apologetically, but my words don't reach her. She isn't open to apologizes anymore.

"...you scoffed at us."

Plural.

Right, this attacker is—the student council president.

"I will not forgive you for this..."

Her wailing before was a thousand times better than this. Now there is a deep, hateful tone in her voice that gives her hatred a firm shape.

Ah, it's over.

Up until now, I've simply been reacting over-sensitively to ambiguous remarks, interpreting them as attacks against me. Of course, some of those remarks must have been really directed at me, since I'm the type of person who makes herself a lot of enemies. However, in the majority of cases, it was just my overreacting that got me hurt.

But this is going to change now. I'm going to be under fire from all sides for real.

"She's making me angry," "What an insolent bitch," "Get out of here," "Piss off," "Go die in a fire," "Go west," "Die."

I'm going to really get such insults; after all, this attacker right before my eyes is the student council president. She's the second most powerful person here. If Sakura Kawai openly announces that she won't forgive me, then the number of attackers will grow. She does have the authority and the social network to do just that.

To make matters worse, Reina Kamisu's "believers" have uniform beliefs. If one of the central authorities like Sakura Kawai says that she won't forgive me, then the other "believers" are bound to share her will.

Inside this closed environment, it is an absolute taboo to get on the wrong side of Sakura Kawai.

Reina Kamisu treats everyone equally, but her followers can't emulate her deeds. Jesus Christ said that if someone slapped you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also, and yet the believers kept waging war. That's how it works. Sakura Kawai has the power that it takes to unite everyone against me under the pretext of protecting Reina Kamisu.

She is aware of that, too, and that's why she was able to act so bold against an upperclassman like me.

"...I'm sorry."

However, as expected, my apology only adds fuel to the flames.

"...Prepare yourself! I will teach you that there is no place for you in this school anymore," Sakura Kawai proclaimed.

That's not a threat. It's a decided fact.

In a few days from now—I will have no place anymore.

Once I got home, I shut myself into my room, plunked into my semi-double bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

"Aah..."

It's over... I can't take this anymore...

This place was a painful, exit-less box to begin with, but now I'm going to be lynched by everyone on top of it; even though all I want is not to be attacked, not to be hurt.

That's just horrible: If striking back in order to protect myself angered the other party so much that she now unites everyone against me, then what should I have done instead?

I don't know the answer, but I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this; that someday, someone would hate me for good and initiate an organized attack against me. At the very least, I had deemed it more probably than North Korea making an onslaught on Japan.

...I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this?

But that means that I didn't have a chance to begin with.

Fuck! Fuck! Are you kidding me?! Why does nobody treat me gently?! Why does nobody understand me?!

No, that's wrong... It's all my fault... I know, I know!

As I continue this pointless and endless train of thought, I clutch at my pillow so hard that it almost bursts.

Goddammit!

Knock, knock, goes my door all of a sudden. It must be my sister judging from the sound pattern.

"What?" I ask bluntly toward the door.

The door opens and my little sister, Yoshino, enters the room. "Um..." she mutters reluctantly as I scowl at her, still lying on my bed.

"Get the fuck out of here if you've got no business!" I shout, turning my frustration at my weak sister who is 3 years younger than me. As always.

"I-I am sorry..." she apologizes despite not being at fault.

A thought suddenly crosses my mind as I gaze at my downhearted sister: she will certainly lose all her self-confidence because of me and become a dejected person.

I'm sorry for that. But I'm not in an easy situation either, so it can't be helped, can it?

"So, what is it?" I ask again.

"Um, someone has come over to see you..."

"Someone...?"

Sakura Kawai crosses my mind.

Was she not satisfied with attacking me just at school? That's absurd... but I haven't made myself any friends that would go out of their way to come over here. So... it's well possible that Sakura Kawai is already done preparing her attack on me and has come here.

No... Please not! Don't torment me any more than this!

"...Onee-chan... quick..."

"I know! Just shut up!" Yoshino winces again at my sharp voice.

Yes, that's right! It's Yoshino's fault. I've only gotten myself into this situation because her lack of resistance gradually made more offensive!

While casting the blame on others in my head, I push Yoshino aside with my right hand and walk to the entrance.

What am I going to do? How am I going to handle this situation? I can no longer defend myself by attacking, that's for sure, but I don't know any other way. I'm not deft enough to ward off an attack. I'm the type of person who deliberately gets hit by a bullet in fear of the gunshot that would follow; that's why I have to take care of the attacker before she can fire a bullet no matter what!

Full with despair, I open the door and look the the visitor.

Time stopped.

"—Huh?"

I unwittingly react with the clichéd act of rubbing my eyes in disbelief and look once more at her.

"Hello," she says. With an absurdly beautiful smile.

"—Kamisu-san?"

"Please excuse my sudden visit, Mitsui-san. I take it that I must have surprised you?"

"I don't mind... but what brings you here?"

I try guessing her reason to visit me... but I fail to come up with anything plausible.

Kamisu-san treats everybody equally.

Of course, in her eyes I'm just another equal person. Therefore, there is no reason why should would come visit me.

However, as a matter of fact, she stands right before me, smiling.

"Would you be so kind as to let me in? While I do not mind talking right here, I am sure that you had rather take a seat and not have your family hear our conversation."

"Y-Yes..." I say, left with no other choice but to approve. While her way of speaking is incredibly polite, she doesn't seem to tolerate any dissent.

"..."

What is there to get so flustered about? Cool down: a classmate has come over to my place, that's all.

However—

Everyone who knows Reina Kamisu—or has just caught a glimpse of her at some point—will inevitably think the following: there must be a reason of utmost importance for her visiting me. A reason deeper than the reason of life itself.

I lead Kamisu-san to my room. Her every movement seems so harmonized that looking at her from this short distance disrupts the rhythm of my own heartbeat, making it pound randomly. As I wonder how many millions of yen one would make by selling her beautiful black hair to a jeweler, I let her into my room.

"What a lovely room," she praises me with a sincere smile, gently satisfying the pride I have in my room layout. She managed to stir me just by praising me.

I ask her to take a seat on my precious red sofa. She accepts my offer politely and sits down in a manner just as beautiful. For a while, we talk about my room, until Yoshino comes in and brings us some black tea in stead of my absent parents. Confronted with Kamisu-san's beautiful face, however, Yoshino gets startled and blushes as Kamisu-san gives her a smile.

After waiting for Yoshino to leave and taking a sip of the black tea, Kamisu-san says with a smile:

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

While attempting to calm down my racing heart, I look closely at Kamisu-san but fail to read anything off her mild expression.

"I know about the filthy look you're giving Reina-san!"

I start to ponder. If Sakura Kawai's complaint is the general consensus and not just a result of her deluded mind, then it would be highly probable that Kamisu-san feels offended by my gaze as well.

What if the will to harm me lies hidden beneath her perfectly adorned smile? No, that's not a "what if".

Kamisu-san came over to my place. Why? Simple.

To attack me.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," she says, probably to a certain degree guessing my internal train of thought.

She might be lying, I apprehend but the fact that it's "Reina Kamisu" who is saying it makes me calm down anyway.

"I am just curious to know what causes you to watch me like that."

"Did you come all the way here just to ask this...?"

"Among other things, yes," she nods.

"Why didn't you approach me at school...?"

In response to my question, she puts on a wry smile and replies, "You know Sakura-san, do you not? Certainly she would not be eager to see a conversation conducted between the two of us."

I see, she's right. Sakura Kawai is always hovering over her; it makes sense that she would have gotten wind of our conflict today.

"I do see where you are coming from, Kamisu-san... but I'm fairly sure that I'm not the only one watching you. What makes my case so special to you?"

"Yes, there are a lot of people who are watching me, but while those gazes might strike others as 'strange,' they are actually fairly common for me. For instance, I am very used to being approached like I was by your sister before."

I think I see her point. The looks Sakura Kawai gives her might be abnormal seen from others, but as someone exposed to them on a daily basis, they become ordinary and lose their abnormity.

"So... in other words, you are saying that the way I'm looking at you is odd even on top of that?"

"Yes, I suppose you can put it that way."

"OK, let me be blunt: are you troubled if I watch you?"

With an unchangingly mild expression, Kamisu-san shakes her head. "As I said, that is not my intent. In fact, the reason why I am here is probably the exact opposite of what you think it is."

"...The reason I think?"

"I do not intend to 'attack' you."

"Eh...?"

—Did she just say 'attack'?

Sure, I always and everywhere feel attacked, but most of that is just me picking up random sentences and interpreting them as attacks. No one other than me can possibly know about it

And yet—Kamisu-san clearly and readily said 'attack'.

"I know that Sakura-san is about to proceed against you. Therefore, I feared that you might fall into the mistaken belief that everyone is now set against you."

Ah, I see... Silly me, I just got ahead of myself. It's not at all surprising that she would use the term 'attack'; the 'attacks' I used to imagine to myself are becoming real starting today, after all.

In other words, my gut feeling that Kamisu-san has known all along that I'm hurt is nothing but an misconception.

...just a misconception.

"I am sure that it would be very sad and tough to consider yourself threatened by everyone. If, by any chance, there are other people joining Sakura-san in attacking you, then it will merely be a temporary trend. Neither will those attacks continue forever, nor should you care about them. I have come here to tell you this."

"...But knowing that doesn't make it any less painful when everyone denies me."

"All right, I promise."

"What do you mean...?"

"I promise to stay on your side."

Huh—?

I find myself awfully confused; after all, it's Reina Kamisu. The person who treats everyone as equals. What would prompt her to become my ally of all people...?

"Although I am sure that is no comfort to you..."

"But yes! Of course I couldn't be happier—"

—but why me? I think but I am unable to add this question.

"That is a relief. Ah... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

"You question...?"

"The reason for your peculiar look."

"T-There's not—" I stutter as I give it some thought myself.

That feeling I've been having toward Kamisu-san is not admiration for her beauty or wits, or anything else positive. If the looks I've been giving her bore a positive connotation, then Kamisu-san wouldn't take special heed of them and call them "odd", since she's used to positive glances.

Therefore, I suppose there is ill will in my glance, and that's also why Sakura Kawai took action against me.

"—There's not much to it... at least I can't put my finger on it."

As a consequence, I couldn't give her an honest answer even if I were able to put that feeling into words.

"You do not not know, either... I understand," she says, and then she smiles. As though that question never happened. "All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

We stand up and go to the entrance. Even something as mundane as putting on one's shoes turns into a captivating ceremony if done by Kamisu-san.

And even after talking so much, that strange feeling I've been having toward her hasn't disappeared.

No, if anything—

"Well then, goodbye Mitsui-san."

"Yeah, see your tomorrow at school."

After waving at me once, Kamisu-san disappears on the other side of the door.

"..."

On the other side. Yes, she and I, we stand on opposite shores and live in different worlds.

There's one thing that keeps me thinking: if there really is ill will in my glances, and if even Sakura Kawai noticed that ill will, then is it at all possible that someone as intelligent as Reina Kamisu would not notice, despite being directly concerned?

But then, why would she so clearly suggest to remain on my side whatever happens? How can she promise to support me, not to do any harm to me, when she noticed that I'm an attacker to her?

At the very least, I couldn't do that in her position. No... we couldn't do that.

"Hey, Yoshino?" I ask my sister who has been sneaking peeks at Kamisu-san.

"W-What is it, Onee-chan?" she says, wincing in fear of being reproached for her watching us.

"I'm not angry. I just wanted to hear your opinion on the girl that just was here."

"Ah, okay..."

"Yoshino. What impression did she make on you?"

Unsure what kind of answer I'm expecting of her, she only groans, "Um..."

"Don't worry; just tell me your first impression."

"O-Okay... I thought that she is pretty."

"...Well, fair enough."

It's a perfectly valid opinion—and probably the only thing she can say because she's afraid of offending anyone.

However, against my expectations, Yoshino wasn't done yet.

"So pretty that I can't believe she's human."

And thanks to that remark—I finally recognized why I felt like chewing on aluminum when seeing Reina Kamisu.

===3===

Sakura Kawai acted faster than expected—two days after our confrontation, there were only enemies around me.

Thrown into the slicing and piercing machinery that is our classroom during lunch break, only wearing standard clothes instead of an armor or a shield, I keep showering blows from all sides.

People are strong in groups. Naturally.

In reality, there are very few people who can defend themselves like heroes who swipe away hostile troops on the TV.  If the attacks are not of physical but of mental nature, however, then there is nothing you can do about it. You have to swallow the collective attacks.

Exclusion, blatant slander, mockery, dirty looks... much more than it is sly bullying, you might say that there is a law here that works toward excluding me; as a consequence of everyone denying me, the place is filled with a mood that stimulates further denial and that keeps tormenting me. Children and girls tend to be very sensitive to such peer pressure, and what I fear most is that I end up being led into denying myself by that air.

That is the law that Sakura Kawai has set in the Junseiwa School.

I keep being cut into pieces on the chopping board.

Chop, chop, chop.

Until yesterday, I would have probably already given up fighting back and instead decided to live with it.

However—

I look at Kamisu-san. Noticing my glance, she smiles at me.

She's my ally. An ally who does absolutely not reach out to me.

I do have a goal now. A strong aim is barely holding me together like glue, keeping me from breaking into pieces.

It's time to carry out—my experiment.

People are strong in groups.

However, that is a result of the group being strong as a whole. It doesn't imply that the individual members are strong. Therefore, not all members are as strong as Sakura Kawai when they are not with the rest of their group.

I'm a sheep. I'm the prey, not the wolf. But as long as we're among sheep, it should be possible even for me to attack other weak sheep who strayed from the pack.

"Haha..."

I may be only armed with a rusty paper knife that can't even cut paper anymore, but it still acts as a good weapon against a sheep that is completely unarmed.

I enter the corridor. "Isn't she creepy?" an underclassman says with her finger pointed at me. Her friends agree. Ah, I think I've seen her before. She's a member of the student council, which has degenerated to Reina Kamisu's personal protection force. I think her name was "Fuyuki"?

All right. I found my sheep.

"Hey you, you are making fun of me, aren't you?"

I press the sheep against the wall of the restroom. The lunch break is already over and classes have started. However, there are only special purpose rooms in the vicinity of this restroom, and these are all empty right now.

"W-What do you want from me?! Stop it please!"

As expected: she's not a predator but prey.

She's trying to appear firm because it's me, but alas, her eyes are giving away that she's scared and only add fuel to my urge to trouble her.

I'm good at finding this kind of person. After all, I'm talking with Yoshino every day.

"Is it fun mocking me before my eyes?"

"Stop it...! Let go of me!" she shouts, struggling with a pale face to break free instead of replying. Her resistance is weak, however, because she fears to anger me. "I-If you do me any harm, y-you will be treated even wor—"

Ah, look, this is a characteristic for prey: they immediately rely on others. They don't even try to find a solution by themselves.

"I don't care. Attacking me some more or some less won't make a difference."

But I crush her hope right away.

"D-Don't put on airs—EEK!"

I slap her face. It didn't put in much strength; there's no way she could get hurt by my rusty paper knife.

However, the fact that I used actual violence finished her off.

"How about an apologize first?"

The ashen sheep nods pathetically and repeats, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Now she can't defy me anymore. That was easier than I thought.

"Look, I don't mean to hurt you or to vent of my anger on you."

Fuyuki-san nods repeatedly, although I don't know if she's really listening.

"In fact, I'm actually trying to make your dream come true."

"...my...dream?" she asks confusedly.

"Yes. You're in the student council, right?"

"...Y-Yes... I'm the secretary."

"But in truth, the student council is just the fan club of Reina Kamisu, isn't it? Sakura Kawai being the prime example."

Fuyuki-san moves her head in an awkward way that could be taken both as nodding and as shaking.

"Don't dare deny it!"

"Y-Yes... it is true that we all have great respect for Reina-san..."

Hmph, I sneer and grab her chin. A short shriek escapes her lips because of the sudden touch, proving that she's even more scared.

"And so do you, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

My mouth distorts to a grin.

"If that's the case, then you surely wish for her to be all yours, right?"

Her eyes open widely.

"What? Why do you react like this?!"

"U-Um... I'm not seeing Reina-san in that light... like, I don't want her to be my lover or anything, you know..."

I think I know what Fuyuki-san is getting at. Reina Kamisu is far, far beyond anyone's reach and seems to be impossible to capture. She's just too grand to be deal with as a common person. Even if, purely hypothetically, someone were to win her heart, the law of exclusion would work even harder against that person than it does work against me. That person would be constantly attacked by everyone; and maybe even driven into death.

That's how hard it is to "capture" Reina Kamisu.

Besides, Reina Kamisu is not someone to make a relationship with, but someone to admire; one might be inclined to keep her near oneself for that purpose, but considering the effort required to maintain that state, it is much better to watch her from afar. Likewise, it's much better to watch elephants in a zoo rather than trying to keep it as a pet in a small house.

So, I'm sure Fuyuki-san is being honest with me. However—

"You. Surely. Wish. For. Her. To. Be. All. Yours. Right?"

—I don't care.

I press her chin a bit harder as I repeat my question word by word, all the while scowling right in her eyes.

"—Uh..."

She clearly thinks otherwise, but I've threatened her enough to keep her from disagreeing with me.

"You can't tell me that you have no such desire whatsoever?"

"—Uuh..."

Right. Somewhere, Fuyuki-san, too, feels the desire to keep Reina Kamisu near her.

People like Fuyuki-san, who were pampered all through their lives, tend to be very bad at telling lies. As a result, she has trouble denying my claim that has a grain of truth in it, all the more because she's scared on top of that.

"Hehe... I'll help you," I say with a distorted smile as I let go of her chin.

"...Help me with what...?" she asks anxiously.

"Hm? Isn't it obvious?"

I clearly state my intent.

"—With your love confession."

I'm very sorry, but you can emit as much despair as you want, I'm not going to change my plans.

But I know for certain that you won't escape. Not because you're so scared of me. You've been craving for this, haven't you? For an excuse to confess your love to Reina Kamisu; for a permit that frees you of all blame in the improbable case that you win her over.

—For that bewitching masterpiece that is going to ruin you.

After school, I asked Kamisu-san to follow me to the back of the gym, which is the—admittedly cliched—place I'd chosen for the confession to take place. While I was talking with her, the other girls around her kept frowning at me with blatant hostility.

Needless to say, their hostile attitude hurt me, but fortunately, my goal is of much higher importance to me right now, so I don't have time to think about the pain... but I'm sure that this scratch is going to open once I'm back home, turning into a gaping wound.

Kamisu-san's surroundings urged her not to listen to the request of someone they had deemed a dangerous person, but she adhered to her promise of being my ally (for now), and followed me.

Perfect, looks like I can conduct my experiment.

"Mitsui-san?" Kamisu-san asks as we walk. "Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it."

"I see... I thought that you wanted to consult me about a way to improve the situation."

"Would we find a solution? After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

"..."

She has a point. Most likely, those superficial feelings wouldn't persist long when the general mood changed.

...But then again, is their hatred against me superficial? Isn't it possible that I have made myself those enemies before this incident and was only left alone because their hostility hasn't been united? Judging from the speed at which they assembled, they must have taken issue with me outside the incident with Sakura Kawai.

"Besides—" Kamisu-san continues, seeing that I'm at a loss for words.

"—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

That she says with stunning ease; and it's nothing but a truth.

She does have the power to do just that.

Actually, I wanted to discuss this matter some more, but we reached the back of the gym where Fuyuki-san is already waiting. On noticing her, Kamisu-san gives me a brief look. She remains silent, but I'm sure she has grasped the situation.

I scowl at Fuyuki-san so that she won't give in to her nervousness and escape. Kamisu-san seems to have noticed, but she doesn't say anything—as I expected.

"Sorry for... calling you out to such a place," Fuyuki-san says reluctantly.

"No, I do not mind at all," Kamisu-san replies in a casual manner. Apparently, they know each other pretty well, since she's a member of the student council.

"Um... Reina-san."

"Yes?" Kamisu-san asks with a friendly voice and expression.

After much wavering and hesitating Fuyuki-san then eventually said:

".........I love you."

She must have drafted a much longer confession than that—with adornments and pretty clauses, with reasons and excuses; her head must have been full of them—but in the end, those were the only words she could muster in the face of Kamisu-san.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Those are words of courage, of sincerity. No matter if it was a forced confession or not, the underlying feelings are real.

In response to that—

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

—Kamisu-san smiled sadly.

"Gh..." Fuyuki-san groans as she drops her gaze. "...Thank you...for your time..." she mutters in a hardly audible voice and ran off without raising her face once.

Out of the corner of my eye, I observe Kamisu-san looking after her.

—It's just as I thought.

"Mitsui-san?" she says after directing her eyes at me.

"...Yes?"

"Why did you force her to confess to me?"

"Ah, you noticed?"

"That I did," she says. "Fuyuki-san is... not someone who would confess of her own."

"I only gave her a little push because she didn't seem to have the courage!"

"What is it that you wanted to observe about me, taking advantage of her?"

That's Reina Kamisu for you; she can easily see through all my intentions. Hahaha.

"Also—"

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

Right, you also noticed that, didn't you?

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"That's what I wanted to hear. You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment."

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

Even after I said so, her expression hardly changed. Probably—because she did not know how to.

"...No soul? What do you mean?" she asks.

"Oh come on... Kamisu-san, your just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Reina Kamisu puts on a wry smile.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real," I explain.

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?" I ask.

"I do."

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

Kamisu-san remains silent, probably feeling forced to acknowledge my point.

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things... no?"

"Over-interpreting, you say? No, not at all. You couldn't care less about others. Whether I hate you or not, whether Fuyuki-san and Sakura Kawai idolize you or not, you simply do not care. Right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to treat everyone as equals."

"...I never intended to treat everyone equally to begin with."

"That's a flat out lie. You're perfect. Everyone will react the same when they see you: admiring your beauty and deeming you perfect. That's how everyone views you."

"You are exaggerating!"

"Oh, don't give me that. You're prefect, absolutely perfect, and in order to maintain that state, you abandoned your content; your soul. You realized that it's the soul that makes us all decompose physically and mentally! You do not deeply socializing with anyone, and if someone gives in to the temptation and comes too close to you, you bite them and corrode them with the perfectness that is you, propagating it in the process. That's how you maintain your state of perfectness."

"...You seem to have lost touch with reality, Mitsui-san... I admit that I might have a certain tendency to lack interest in other people, but that is all there is to it."

"No."

"Mitsui-san..."

"I mean, just look at all the power you have gained already. Who else apart from me at this school is not your subordinate?" I ask.

"That is exactly what I meant by 'over-interpreting.' Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

"They would."

"..."

Even Kamisu-san is left speechless in front of my straight answer; but surely not because she thinks I'm crazy, but because she doesn't know how to counter my argument.

After all, someone like Sakura Kawai would readily follow an order as simple as 'commit suicide,' and Kamisu-san is aware of that.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

===4===

I may have acted too carelessly.

Not only was I seen together with Fuyuki-san and when taking Kamisu-san to the back of the gym, I also disregarded the fact that Fuyuki-san is a member of the student council.

Therefore, this situation is not at all surprising. It's just that I was too occupied with Reina Kamisu and the disconcerting feeling I had.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

With these words, Sakura Kawai presses the club she is holding up against my nose. Ironically, they have taken me to the same place as I forced Fuyuki-san to confess: the back of the gym.

I am unable to oppose her; the pain from the stun gun they used on me when carrying me off has broken my will to resist.

The several students surrounding me are looking down at me with blatant hostility. Fuyuki-san is not among them. So she can't stay on the side of the predators after all... looks like Yoshino isn't going to resist me anytime soon, I think to myself, knowing well how awful that thought is.

"Do you really want to beat me with that thing? You do realize that you'll get yourself thrown out of school?" I counter with my remaining spirit. My rusty paper knife has long since broken, however, and can't even scratch them anymore.

"Only if I'm found out," she says with a distorted smile. "I don't think that will happen, though."

"Yeah, I see that you've made sure to have some of your subordinates keep watch. But... what if I tell someone?"

"I'll just have to prevent that, no?" she replies.

With a dirty smile, the girl standing next to Sakura Kawai produces a digital camera.

"...What are you going to do with this camera?"

"I heard your grandfather is quite the big wig in the Mitsui Group, Mitsui-senpai. Oh, but I also heard that your father was so busy gaining your grandfather's favor that he blew it with his wife and daughter of the big wig so much that he ended up moving out."

"Why do you know this...?"

"Your family is of such influence that a divorce is out of question. Don't you think that there is a market for naughty pictures of a young girl that belongs to such a remarkably influential family?"

"...Are you serious?"

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that question?" she answers coldly.

This can't be... real. I never thought something unhuman like this could occur outside of fiction. Even if there is some war with countless people dying, that doesn't directly affect me and the world I live in. The attacks that I am supposed to face are slander and pranks, and that alone was enough to inflict deadly damage on me...

But as a matter of fact, the bunch around me have already used a stun gun on me, and they are armed with a knife, a club and a digital camera.

Sakura Kawai scowls at me and asks, "Where is it going to be?"

"...What?"

"I asked you where you want your first blow!" she suddenly roars and kicks me in the stomach.

"Ugh..."

It hurts.

It hurts horribly.

It hurts incredibly.

This is... violence.

I always felt like I were in a small box, and I felt agonized by the people that were crammed into that box along with me. I hated that box. But in truth, I was protected by that box. Outside of it, I would have been beaten up and died in an instant.

But then where can I live in peace?

Nowhere, I'm sure. A weak person like me will be attacked and killed wherever she is.

I don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

"My head," I say bluntly.

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Apparently, she took this as a provocation; Sakura Kawai became red with anger. Oh my god, she's going to club my head for real, even though she won't get away with it if I die...

And so she raised the club and—

"What are you doing there?"

—stopped on the spot.

I look at the beautiful savior of my life.

"Kamisu...san..." I mutter.

Sakura Kawai takes the club down for the time being and gives Kamisu-san a troubled look: "Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!" Sakura Kawai shouts with a fire-red face, only to be looked at by Kamisu-san in a calm manner.

"If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's...because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," Kamisu-san repeats with a slightly stronger tone.

Sakura Kawai looks at Kamisu-san, after which she catches a glimpse of me just to return her gaze to Kamisu-san.

"......OK..." she eventually says, sulking like a scolded child.

Having heard that, her colleagues exchange glances and traipse after her as she leaves with a downhearted face.

Aah, what a non-independent bunch. They should all just die.

And like that, the two of us ended up in the same setup as the day before.

"Why... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

That was a superfluous question.

As a proof, Kamisu-san is smiling as she answers it:

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human."

"Hahaha..."

Incredibly. She's perfect.

She really does not have any interest in anyone. She doesn't give a damn about my view of her.

"...By the way, does that mean that you acknowledge what I said yesterday?"

Kamisu-san smiles wordlessly in response to my question.

Ah... her smile is so beautiful.

"Not human and soulless, huh...," I unwittingly mutter.

"I'm so jealous."

Kamisu-san gives me a slightly surprised glance upon hearing that mutter, "Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I can—do without a soul."

Suddenly, something Sakura Kawai had told me crosses my mind.

"I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

Heh, so in the end, she was right all along.

I was jealous.

I envied Reina Kamisu for not being hurt by anyone's words.

"I can't recover from this blow."

I'm done for. Sakura Kawai may have been stopped, but that only means that all that negative energy has not been vented; I will continue to bathe in her and her group's resentment, hurting myself, taking damage, driven into a corner.

It's June right now; that means that there's more than half a year until graduation. All the while until then, I will continue to be attacked, and once I've graduated, I may be released from them but new attackers will appear in their places. The attacks themselves won't stop—the person executing them will simply change.

Now and forever—as long as I am who I am—I will keep throwing myself into the spears others have thrown at someone else, getting hurt in the process, and attacking them myself until they really aim their spears at no one else but me.

This is how I'm done for.

If that is what makes me human, if that means that I have a soul—

—then I can well do without this... rotten soul.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

That's an honest wish of mine, and in response to that heartfelt mutter, Reina Kamisu—

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

—laughed.

"Huh...?"

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

That's not it. I wasn't surprised by her offer.

Did Reina Kamisu just... laugh?

She was always smiling; not because she seemed delighted or amused or anything like that, however, but because smiling is her neutral expression.

I think this is the first time I've seen her expressing real emotion.

The way she laughed was of course beautiful too. Beautiful indeed... but something about it struck me as incongruous, unbalanced, and filled me with disgust. Although I can't put my finger on what that is.

However, I decide to forget my misgivings for now and ask her about her offer instead.

"It's easy to erase one's soul...?"

"Yes, it is easy to do what you would define as 'erasing one's soul.' You just have to drop all your interest in others, and that can be done easily."

"That's... absurd."

However, Kamisu-san does absolutely not look like she's joking. And—she looks like she could do that any moment.

"But do you not agree that if, for the sake of argument, you lost all your five senses, you would not even be able to take an interest in others, since you could not feel anything?"

"Well, yeah, but I think that's a really grotesque example..."

"Yes, but I am still right, no?" she laughs and continues:

"I will help you get there!"

After that, Kamisu-san took me to an empty music room. Apparently, she was entrusted with the keys because she practiced the piano every day there—a feat that only someone as esteemed as she can accomplish.

In the end, she disappeared somewhere, saying, "Concentrate on your surroundings."

While getting sinister looks from Beethoven and his composer colleagues, I ponder about the meaning of her words. Concentrate? What on earth is she scheming? There's no way a "human" could do something like erasing someone's soul...

Or do you want to tell me that Reina Kamisu is unhuman for real and not just metaphorically?

Yesterday she evaded the argument, but I got the impression that today she was kind of admitting that she does not care about others. And she "laughed."

What is the meaning of this... what is the meaning of her revealing her true face only to me? Isn't there perhaps—a really grave meaning behind all this?

Why... why am I here, all alone?

Because Kamisu-san took me here, of course.

Hey... What if the thing I discovered was something that Reina Kamisu wanted to keep secret no matter what? What if she was perfectly aware of the reason for my looks when she came over to my place? What if she only pretended to be my ally in order to observe me? What if she was deliberately controlling Sakura Kawai and the others with a certain goal in mind? What is she's really not human?

If all that is true, then—

—she's going to erase my soul.

I feel like Beethoven and Mozart and Händel and Kosaku Yamada are laughing at me. Do their pictures perhaps have a soul, considering that their eyeballs are said to move in every list of school wonders? Maybe they are hurt whenever we call them "scary" or insult their haircuts, and avenge themselves by moving their eyes?

Please, don't look at me. I'm much, much easier hurt than you guys, since I still have a body.

Perhaps Reina Kamisu is controlling them in order to take my soul somewhere? Maybe. I feel it wouldn't be impossible to her.

All of a sudden—I heard several screams outside.

Curious as to what is going on, I look out of the window. I should have acted with more care; because then I would have easily noticed that Kamisu-san's order to concentrate on my surroundings was referring to nothing else but those screams. I was acting exactly as she wanted me to, digging my own grave.

I opened the window.

And then—my soul was erased.

"—Haha..."

I see now.

So that was your plan.

"Hahaha..."

Reina Kamisu tore my soul out of my body and took it with her.

That must have been her goal at this school; and she is going to continue collecting others' souls to return to her real form.

Right? I ask the person before my eyes.

—She responds with an upside down smile.

Others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others.

Hey all of you, is there a reason why you exist? Do your words bear any meaning when you are all destined to be harvested by Reina Kamisu? Of course not. Your lives have no meaning at all. You, too, are crammed in little boxes where you hurt others and get hurt by others. Your Reina Kamisu's subordinates, her servants, her slaves. We're all of no import whatsoever. Meaningless humans.

There's no reason why I should listen to what other worthless people say.

Reina Kamisu is right in every possible way. Only her own words are of substance, and that's why everyone around her was meaningless to her.

Yeah, that's right.

That's the truth.

Right?

And there she goes—there she falls.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Plomp. And as the screams grew even louder—

—I lost all my feelings for good.

===5===

It's June.

As I stand protected under an umbrella, I ponder where the rain, which shows no sign of stopping, is headed—while gazing at the white outlines of a person that have been drawn on the concrete ground near the sakura trees.

The sakura trees have long since lost their bloom and instead put on green leaves. But no one is looking at them. They exist solely for spring and are only planted here for that purpose. As such, they are forgotten during the period when they're not magnificent and become a meaningless piece of scenery.

The trees cried as the rain beat down on them.

There's no doubt that the Junseiwa School is about to fall apart.

It's an undeniable fact that Reina Kamisu jumped down. There have been several witnesses, and above all, there was a corpse in the middle of the carpet of blood spreading below. And that dead body belonged to Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu died.

The absolute ruler, the absolute law, disappeared. As a result, the Junseiwa School has gotten caught up in confusion and is about to collapse.

And I am sure that she did all of that deliberately. In the face of her goal, everything is petty and of no import.

This isn't the end; it's the start. From here on, Reina Kamisu's real goal will become apparent. I don't know what will happen to me in the process, but I'm sure that I could struggle against her as much as I wanted and still be dancing to her tune. It's all her plan. It's all fate.

The die is cast.

Therefore, I won't do anything.

I don't care about all that stuff anymore.

Bereft of my soul, I don't care anymore.

Come to think of it—not that it matters—people with grudges against me keep appearing because I was the last person who spoke to Reina Kamisu.

The hatred and the hostility against me has become so blatant by now that even the teachers are slowly noticing. What a waste of time. I couldn't care less. As if your brittle spears could ever hurt me when I'm soulless and transparent. Oh boy, you should all just die.

I take notes of the lesson that is taking place. Now that I think about it, I've neglected studying a bit recently. I have to get more serious. I don't feel like thinking anymore; I'll just follow the rails laid out for me.

After our classes—which I followed carefully—the prime example of a trivial person came to me.

"It's your fault that Reina-san died!" Sakura Kawai roars as she enters my classroom.

Oh boy, what a noisy girl. I was ignoring her, but I guess I ought to respond to her.

"Even if that's true, what of it?"

"...What did you say?" she asks with a red face as she draws near. It's getting old.

"Haha..."

"W-What's so funny?!"

"What can you do? What can a fox who borrowed the authority of a tiger do, now that Reina Kamisu is no more?"

"Don't mess with me! I still have colleagues who follow me!"

"Even though Reina Kamisu abandoned you?"

"...What do you mean by that?"

"You don't get it, or what? And you call yourself the representative of Kamisu-san's fan club? Looks like you were blinded by her superficial beauty, eh?"

I continue with absolute certainty:

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

"Wha—?!"

Oh wow, looks like she really didn't understand. Pathetic.

"That's absurd, now! Don't make up things!"

"Absurd? Haha... you're quite the funny one, aren't you?"

"But I'm right! How do you explain her corpse then?!" she asks in response.

"Beats me. But listen, she would never end her life for someone else's sake, nor would she despair and kill herself when she doesn't even care about others. Well? That leaves only the option that I brought up."

The red in her face slowly drains and changes into white instead.

"You're—out of your mind," she mutters.

"I'm not the one who's insane," I answer bluntly.

"Are you saying that I'm the one who lost her mind?!"

"You could say that, but in truth—we have all lost our minds."

She grows even paler.

"We have been too long at this school that was pervaded by Reina Kamisu. We're beyond rescue! ...You, too, will realize soon enough that she isn't dead. She's only watching us from afar for the time being. She might approach us again someday, with a smile."

"C-Cut out this crap... I'm going to kill you!"

"Good luck with that. But I'm going to defend myself because I don't like pain. I guess I'll make sure to carry a knife around since you just threatened me."

"Gh! What is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?!"

"Me? I'm the same as you! Just another student going to the Junseiwa School. A human. And—a subordinate of Reina Kamisu's."

In the end, Sakura Kawai spit out a final insult before she left and stopped to bother me.

The rain still hasn't stopped.

Sakura leaves have fallen on the outlined figure on the ground, but unlike the blossoms, which are said to be beautiful even after scattering, they don't stir any emotion inside me.

The rain still shows no sign of stopping.

—Reina Kamisu scattered here.

But while it is true that she threw herself down here, was it really then that she threw her body away? Couldn't it be that she did so in the past or will do so in the future?

I don't know. I also don't know whether it was she herself that scattered or just her magnificent blossoms.

But there is one thing I do know.

"We will meet again, won't we?" I mutter in a voice that is drowned by the rain.

However—

"—Yes."

A voice that must be an illusion reaches me, causing me to raise my head.

Of course, there is no trace of anyone. All I can see is a tree.

"Hahaha..." I laugh toward the sakura tree.

The blossom-less sakura tree somehow resembled Reina Kamisu's smile.

<noinclude>
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|-
| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Yukimi Mitsui

2016-01-02T16:10:44Z

EusthEnoptEron: /* 2 */

==Chapter 1: Yukimi Mitsui==

===1===

Voices are like invisible razor blades to me.

We are all alone from birth to death, and even though we can't really understand each other we are still forced to associate all along the way. There are only two ways out: biological death or social death.

The world is brimming with people observing me, no matter where I escape.

And again, another day starts where I am forced to blend into a group.

I am suffocating, crammed into a tiny, narrow box, our classroom, together with various people who keep attacking me.

We're on a small break right now. Girls are noisy beings, and as such, even the high level of this school doesn't stop them from nattering away with their shrill voices. Female voices are—perhaps because they're higher than male voices—very sharp. Sharp like razorblades.

Laughter. Certainly not directed at me. But it sounds to me like they're sneering at me.

"Your face is a mess today, isn't it?", "Stop spreading bad mood," "Aren't her legs quite fat?", "She completely messed up that question there, didn't she? And she sucks at English, anyway," "Isn't something smelling funny here?" "I bet she's a slut," "Disgusting," "Gross," "Sickening."

They're not saying these things against me. They're not saying them against me. I'm not as odd as to be called such things.

But my imagination won't stop taking their voices as attacks against me.

Stop it! Don't talk in front of me!

"Stop being so noisy!"

A shout reverberates, shrouding the classroom in silence... with my voice.

Astonishment and some discontent for being yelled at without a reason shows on their faces. But as expected from Junseiwa students, not a single one of them shows any anger. Instead, they resume their conversations with quieter voices than before.

But it's not like they don't care. Deep inside, they must hate me; they must feel the urge to attack me.

And like this, I continue to get myself into a jam. In order not to get hurt, I isolate myself from others and keep everyone away. But by doing so, I also lose the chance to find someone who understands me and supports me, and I stay in the dark about what they think of me. As a result, anxiety keeps growing.

"She pisses me off!" someone groans and others laugh in response.

My body tenses up.

No, that wasn't directed at me. Please, be concise! It sounds to me like you said "That Mitsui bitch pisses me off." That's what it gets converted to in my head.

I cover my ears in a manner that doesn't get noticed, even though no one is looking at me. Why am I so sensitive? Why isn't everyone just gentle to me? I wish someone would appear who understands how delicate I am, but such a person does not exist. Instead, I am thought to be a rude and strong girl and keep being injured—be it wittingly or unwittingly—because they don't bother looking closer at me.

That's why I gaze at Reina Kamisu.

Today, she is talking with the members of Hashigami-san's group. Reina Kamisu, an exceptional girl, has pulled off the feat of not belonging to a group and still getting along with everyone. ...No, she's much more than just exceptional.

I know—no, everyone knows—that she would never hurt anyone. In other words, she wouldn't hurt me either.

Reina Kamisu is a girl who seems to made purely of ideals.

She, our image of "perfection," does not belong to anyone's group. She isn't biased. Reina Kamisu is always neutral toward anyone. Therefore, she wouldn't hurt anyone.

Reina Kamisu would not pull me up if I held out my hand; but she wouldn't shake off my hand either.

That's why I can gaze at her at ease.

Noticing my glance, she suddenly returns my look. I would have quickly averted my eyes had it been someone else, but if it's her, I don't have to fear anything and can keep up eye contact for a while.

Kamisu-san beautifully smiles at me.

Ah, she's so beautiful.

That was enough to make me feel vindicated.

All of a sudden—something stone-like forcibly enters my head.

It's a stone. If I shake my head, it rolls around inside and damages my brains. Quick, I have to get rid of it. Of what? Of the cause that made this happen.

The cause is—

...Huh? Why? Isn't she the only one who will never stand against me...? Yes, that's exactly what distinguishes her from everyone else.

She may be different, but I don't care. The problem is that something about her is being detected by me as a stone, as "harm".

Why—?

I look at her again.

She is still smiling beautifully at me.

===2===

"Who do you think you are?"

A few days after I started feeling something bizarre about Reina Kamisu, I was suddenly approached on the corridor during lunch break. The girl who approached me didn't show the least of restraint and just blocked my way, seething with irritation.

An attacker. There's no doubting it.

However, the attacker isn't one of my classmates, who must have accumulated frustration against me, but a freshman named Sakura Kawai.

"Hah? Careful what you say now!"

If it's a real attack and not just my delusions, I can counter to my heart's content and ensure that the attacker will stop in the future.

I can fight. Even though I might get hurt in the process.

Sakura Kawai, however, doesn't wince. "I know about the dirty look you're giving Reina-san!"

"Filthy look? What are you talking about?"

"I think I expressed myself clearly enough! I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

"Jealous?"

She's right in that I often look at Kamisu-san. I have been watching her even more these days because I wanted to find out the cause for what's bothering me about her, in addition to my urge to be vindicated, but she couldn't be farther off by calling this jealousy.

"Know your place, okay? Even if you're the student council president, you're still younger than me. Don't you think you're a bit insolent?" I argue.

"I don't wish to be rude toward an upperclassman, either, but there are things that I just can't let pass."

"Things you can't let pass? And that would be me, or what?"

"Yes! Just think about it. Reina-san is a wonderful person. I have so much respect for her, she's my inspiration".

Ah, so Sakura Kawai is one of them. It's obvious looking how she follows Kamisu-san around everywhere: Sakura Kawai is a firm "believer" of Reina Kamisu.

The number of Reina Kamisu's "believers" at this school is everything but small. No, you could say they're the majority.

It might be a nasty comparison, but if one were to compare Reina Kamisu's charisma with poisonous gas, the gas would be so strong that breathing in 0.1mg would be enough to kill a person with a likelihood of 99.999%. If released in a town, the whole town would die out. In addition, the virulence would be extremely high as well; just touching an infected person would get you killed.

I'm exaggerating? Perhaps. But anyone close to her would unanimously nod at this comparison.

Anyway. Being locked into this closed environment, Reina Kamisu is fulfilling and corroding the school without leaving out a gap.

What's the obvious consequence?

Reina Kamisu attains an absolute status within this small community. As a matter of fact, she is the law and driving force at the Junseiwa School.

"I... no, we won't let you get through with this! Scowling on Reina-san... Aah, I'm disgusted just by thinking of it! Anyway, we won't let you look down at Reina-san! No one can deny her. What makes you think that someone as petty as you could?"

"...What did you just say?! Besides, you're completely wrong. I'm not looking down at her at all."

"I'm not deceived that easily!"

"But you're really wrong!"

"Cut out those lies!"

It's no use. This girl won't listen no matter what I say. She is already firmly convinced that I'm looking down on Kamisu-san.

But that's not true; I have great respect for her as well. After all, I'm just another member of this small, closed community.

Therefore, I'm not looking at Kamisu-san with scorn.

—Unless the odd thing I'm feeling about her is of a negative nature.

"...Look, it seems like you know what I'm talking about," Sakura Kawai reproaches me with conviction, apparently having noticed the slight doubts that showed on my face.

"...It's a misunderstanding!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Just apologize and swear to keep your eyes away from her!"

My patience is wearing thin. Who does she thin she is? She means nothing to Kamisu-san; it's not like she's her family or even just a friend of hers.

"Hmph! Even if I did scorn her, what of it? I wouldn't be bothering anyone with it, would I?"

"What did you just say...?"

"If someone is bothering Kamisu-san, then it's certainly not me, but you guys who stick to her like fish shit!"

"W-What?!"

Sakura Kawai's face turns red like a tomato.

—Oh no.

She isn't the type of attacker who gets afraid and stops attacking. I knew that and should have retreated at the right time, but I accidentally continued to hold against her.

And right now, I rubbed her the exact wrong way.

It's too late. She's going to keep attacking me, keep hurting me.

And on top of that—

I got too worked up and forgot who she is.

"...I went too far," I say apologetically, but my words don't reach her. She isn't open to apologizes anymore.

"...you scoffed at us."

Plural.

Right, this attacker is—the student council president.

"I will not forgive you for this..."

Her wailing before was a thousand times better than this. Now there is a deep, hateful tone in her voice that gives her hatred a firm shape.

Ah, it's over.

Up until now, I've simply been reacting over-sensitively to ambiguous remarks, interpreting them as attacks against me. Of course, some of those remarks must have been really directed at me, since I'm the type of person who makes herself a lot of enemies. However, in the majority of cases, it was just my overreacting that got me hurt.

But this is going to change now. I'm going to be under fire from all sides for real.

"She's making me angry," "What an insolent bitch," "Get out of here," "Piss off," "Go die in a fire," "Go west," "Die."

I'm going to really get such insults; after all, this attacker right before my eyes is the student council president. She's the second most powerful person here. If Sakura Kawai openly announces that she won't forgive me, then the number of attackers will grow. She does have the authority and the social network to do just that.

To make matters worse, Reina Kamisu's "believers" have uniform beliefs. If one of the central authorities like Sakura Kawai says that she won't forgive me, then the other "believers" are bound to share her will.

Inside this closed environment, it is an absolute taboo to get on the wrong side of Sakura Kawai.

Reina Kamisu treats everyone equally, but her followers can't emulate her deeds. Jesus Christ said that if someone slapped you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also, and yet the believers kept waging war. That's how it works. Sakura Kawai has the power that it takes to unite everyone against me under the pretext of protecting Reina Kamisu.

She is aware of that, too, and that's why she was able to act so bold against an upperclassman like me.

"...I'm sorry."

However, as expected, my apology only adds fuel to the flames.

"...Prepare yourself! I will teach you that there is no place for you in this school anymore," Sakura Kawai proclaimed.

That's not a threat. It's a decided fact.

In a few days from now—I will have no place anymore.

Once I got home, I shut myself into my room, plunked into my semi-double bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

"Aah..."

It's over... I can't take this anymore...

This place was a painful, exit-less box to begin with, but now I'm going to be lynched by everyone on top of it; even though all I want is not to be attacked, not to be hurt.

That's just horrible: If striking back in order to protect myself angered the other party so much that she now unites everyone against me, then what should I have done instead?

I don't know the answer, but I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this; that someday, someone would hate me for good and initiate an organized attack against me. At the very least, I had deemed it more probably than North Korea making an onslaught on Japan.

...I've always had a hunch that things would eventually come to this?

But that means that I didn't have a chance to begin with.

Fuck! Fuck! Are you kidding me?! Why does nobody treat me gently?! Why does nobody understand me?!

No, that's wrong... It's all my fault... I know, I know!

As I continue this pointless and endless train of thought, I clutch at my pillow so hard that it almost bursts.

Goddammit!

Knock, knock, goes my door all of a sudden. It must be my sister judging from the sound pattern.

"What?" I ask bluntly toward the door.

The door opens and my little sister, Yoshino, enters the room. "Um..." she mutters reluctantly as I scowl at her, still lying on my bed.

"Get the fuck out of here if you've got no business!" I shout, turning my frustration at my weak sister who is 3 years younger than me. As always.

"I-I am sorry..." she apologizes despite not being at fault.

A thought suddenly crosses my mind as I gaze at my downhearted sister: she will certainly lose all her self-confidence because of me and become a dejected person.

I'm sorry for that. But I'm not in an easy situation either, so it can't be helped, can it?

"So, what is it?" I ask again.

"Um, someone has come over to see you..."

"Someone...?"

Sakura Kawai crosses my mind.

Was she not satisfied with attacking me just at school? That's absurd... but I haven't made myself any friends that would go out of their way to come over here. So... it's well possible that Sakura Kawai is already done preparing her attack on me and has come here.

No... Please not! Don't torment me any more than this!

"...Onee-chan... quick..."

"I know! Just shut up!" Yoshino winces again at my sharp voice.

Yes, that's right! It's Yoshino's fault. I've only gotten myself into this situation because her lack of resistance gradually made more offensive!

While casting the blame on others in my head, I push Yoshino aside with my right hand and walk to the entrance.

What am I going to do? How am I going to handle this situation? I can no longer defend myself by attacking, that's for sure, but I don't know any other way. I'm not deft enough to ward off an attack. I'm the type of person who deliberately gets hit by a bullet in fear of the gunshot that would follow; that's why I have to take care of the attacker before she can fire a bullet no matter what!

Full with despair, I open the door and look the the visitor.

Time stopped.

"—Huh?"

I unwittingly react with the clichéd act of rubbing my eyes in disbelief and look once more at her.

"Hello," she says. With an absurdly beautiful smile.

"—Kamisu-san?"

"Please excuse my sudden visit, Mitsui-san. I take it that I must have surprised you?"

"I don't mind... but what brings you here?"

I try guessing her reason to visit me... but I fail to come up with anything plausible.

Kamisu-san treats everybody equally.

Of course, in her eyes I'm just another equal person. Therefore, there is no reason why should would come visit me.

However, as a matter of fact, she stands right before me, smiling.

"Would you be so kind as to let me in? While I do not mind talking right here, I am sure that you had rather take a seat and not have your family hear our conversation."

"Y-Yes..." I say, left with no other choice but to approve. While her way of speaking is incredibly polite, she doesn't seem to tolerate any dissent.

"..."

What is there to get so flustered about? Cool down: a classmate has come over to my place, that's all.

However—

Everyone who knows Reina Kamisu—or has just caught a glimpse of her at some point—will inevitably think the following: there must be a reason of utmost importance for her visiting me. A reason deeper than the reason of life itself.

I lead Kamisu-san to my room. Her every movement seems so harmonized that looking at her from this short distance disrupts the rhythm of my own heartbeat, making it pound randomly. As I wonder how many millions of yen one would make by selling her beautiful black hair to a jeweler, I let her into my room.

"What a lovely room," she praises me with a sincere smile, gently satisfying the pride I have in my room layout. She managed to stir me just by praising me.

I ask her to take a seat on my precious red sofa. She accepts my offer politely and sits down in a manner just as beautiful. For a while, we talk about my room, until Yoshino comes in and brings us some black tea in stead of my absent parents. Confronted with Kamisu-san's beautiful face, however, Yoshino gets startled and blushes as Kamisu-san gives her a smile.

After waiting for Yoshino to leave and taking a sip of the black tea, Kamisu-san says with a smile:

"It has come to my attention that you have been watching me in a peculiar manner lately."

While attempting to calm down my racing heart, I look closely at Kamisu-san but fail to read anything off her mild expression.

"I know about the filthy look you're giving Reina-san!"

I start to ponder. If Sakura Kawai's complaint is the general consensus and not just a result of her deluded mind, then it would be highly probable that Kamisu-san feels offended by my gaze as well.

What if the will to harm me lies hidden beneath her perfectly adorned smile? No, that's not a "what if".

Kamisu-san came over to my place. Why? Simple.

To attack me.

"Ah, please excuse me. I do not mean to blame you," she says, probably to a certain degree guessing my internal train of thought.

She might be lying, I apprehend but the fact that it's "Reina Kamisu" who is saying it makes me calm down anyway.

"I am just curious to know what causes you to watch me like that."

"Did you come all the way here just to ask this...?"

"Among other things, yes," she nods.

"Why didn't you approach me at school...?"

In response to my question, she puts on a wry smile and replies, "You know Sakura-san, do you not? Certainly she would not be eager to see a conversation conducted between the two of us."

I see, she's right. Sakura Kawai is always hovering over her; it makes sense that she would have gotten wind of our conflict today.

"I do see where you are coming from, Kamisu-san... but I'm fairly sure that I'm not the only one watching you. What makes my case so special to you?"

"Yes, there are a lot of people who are watching me, but while those gazes might strike others as 'strange,' they are actually fairly common for me. For instance, I am very used to being approached like I was by your sister before."

I think I see her point. The looks Sakura Kawai gives her might be abnormal seen from others, but as someone exposed to them on a daily basis, they become ordinary and lose their abnormity.

"So... in other words, you are saying that the way I'm looking at you is odd even on top of that?"

"Yes, I suppose you can put it that way."

"OK, let me be blunt: are you troubled if I watch you?"

With an unchangingly mild expression, Kamisu-san shakes her head. "As I said, that is not my intent. In fact, the reason why I am here is probably the exact opposite of what you think it is."

"...The reason I think?"

"I do not intend to 'attack' you."

"Eh...?"

—Did she just say 'attack'?

Sure, I always and everywhere feel attacked, but most of that is just me picking up random sentences and interpreting them as attacks. No one other than me can possibly know about it

And yet—Kamisu-san clearly and readily said 'attack'.

"I know that Sakura-san is about to proceed against you. Therefore, I feared that you might fall into the mistaken belief that everyone is now set against you."

Ah, I see... Silly me, I just got ahead of myself. It's not at all surprising that she would use the term 'attack'; the 'attacks' I used to imagine to myself are becoming real starting today, after all.

In other words, my gut feeling that Kamisu-san has known all along that I'm hurt is nothing but an misconception.

...just a misconception.

"I am sure that it would be very sad and tough to consider yourself threatened by everyone. If, by any chance, there are other people joining Sakura-san in attacking you, then it will merely be a temporary trend. Neither will those attacks continue forever, nor should you care about them. I have come here to tell you this."

"...But knowing that doesn't make it any less painful when everyone denies me."

"All right, I promise."

"What do you mean...?"

"I promise to stay on your side."

Huh—?

I find myself awfully confused; after all, it's Reina Kamisu. The person who treats everyone as equals. What would prompt her to become my ally of all people...?

"Although I am sure that is no comfort to you..."

"But yes! Of course I couldn't be happier—"

—but why me? I think but I am unable to add this question.

"That is a relief. Ah... that reminds me, you have not answered my question yet."

"You question...?"

"I was wondering why you are watching me."

"T-There's not—" I stutter as I give it some thought myself.

That feeling I've been having toward Kamisu-san is not admiration for her beauty or wits, or anything else positive. If the looks I've been giving her bore a positive connotation, then Kamisu-san wouldn't take special heed of them and call them "odd", since she's used to positive glances.

Therefore, I suppose there is ill will in my glance, and that's also why Sakura Kawai took action against me.

"—There's not much to it... at least I can't put my finger on it."

As a consequence, I couldn't give her an honest answer even if I were able to put that feeling into words.

"You do not not know, either... I understand," she says, and then she smiles. As though that question never happened. "All right, I think it is time for me to take my leave."

"Mm..."

We stand up and go to the entrance. Even something as mundane as putting on one's shoes turns into a captivating ceremony if done by Kamisu-san.

And even after talking so much, that strange feeling I've been having toward her hasn't disappeared.

No, if anything—

"Well then, goodbye Mitsui-san."

"Yeah, see your tomorrow at school."

After waving at me once, Kamisu-san disappears on the other side of the door.

"..."

On the other side. Yes, she and I, we stand on opposite shores and live in different worlds.

There's one thing that keeps me thinking: if there really is ill will in my glances, and if even Sakura Kawai noticed that ill will, then is it at all possible that someone as intelligent as Reina Kamisu would not notice, despite being directly concerned?

But then, why would she so clearly suggest to remain on my side whatever happens? How can she promise to support me, not to do any harm to me, when she noticed that I'm an attacker to her?

At the very least, I couldn't do that in her position. No... we couldn't do that.

"Hey, Yoshino?" I ask my sister who has been sneaking peeks at Kamisu-san.

"W-What is it, Onee-chan?" she says, wincing in fear of being reproached for her watching us.

"I'm not angry. I just wanted to hear your opinion on the girl that just was here."

"Ah, okay..."

"Yoshino. What impression did she make on you?"

Unsure what kind of answer I'm expecting of her, she only groans, "Um..."

"Don't worry; just tell me your first impression."

"O-Okay... I thought that she is pretty."

"...Well, fair enough."

It's a perfectly valid opinion—and probably the only thing she can say because she's afraid of offending anyone.

However, against my expectations, Yoshino wasn't done yet.

"So pretty that I can't believe she's human."

And thanks to that remark—I finally recognized why I felt like chewing on aluminum when seeing Reina Kamisu.

===3===

Sakura Kawai acted faster than expected—two days after our confrontation, there were only enemies around me.

Thrown into the slicing and piercing machinery that is our classroom during lunch break, only wearing standard clothes instead of an armor or a shield, I keep showering blows from all sides.

People are strong in groups. Naturally.

In reality, there are very few people who can defend themselves like heroes who swipe away hostile troops on the TV.  If the attacks are not of physical but of mental nature, however, then there is nothing you can do about it. You have to swallow the collective attacks.

Exclusion, blatant slander, mockery, dirty looks... much more than it is sly bullying, you might say that there is a law here that works toward excluding me; as a consequence of everyone denying me, the place is filled with a mood that stimulates further denial and that keeps tormenting me. Children and girls tend to be very sensitive to such peer pressure, and what I fear most is that I end up being led into denying myself by that air.

That is the law that Sakura Kawai has set in the Junseiwa School.

I keep being cut into pieces on the chopping board.

Chop, chop, chop.

Until yesterday, I would have probably already given up fighting back and instead decided to live with it.

However—

I look at Kamisu-san. Noticing my glance, she smiles at me.

She's my ally. An ally who does absolutely not reach out to me.

I do have a goal now. A strong aim is barely holding me together like glue, keeping me from breaking into pieces.

It's time to carry out—my experiment.

People are strong in groups.

However, that is a result of the group being strong as a whole. It doesn't imply that the individual members are strong. Therefore, not all members are as strong as Sakura Kawai when they are not with the rest of their group.

I'm a sheep. I'm the prey, not the wolf. But as long as we're among sheep, it should be possible even for me to attack other weak sheep who strayed from the pack.

"Haha..."

I may be only armed with a rusty paper knife that can't even cut paper anymore, but it still acts as a good weapon against a sheep that is completely unarmed.

I enter the corridor. "Isn't she creepy?" an underclassman says with her finger pointed at me. Her friends agree. Ah, I think I've seen her before. She's a member of the student council, which has degenerated to Reina Kamisu's personal protection force. I think her name was "Fuyuki"?

All right. I found my sheep.

"Hey you, you are making fun of me, aren't you?"

I press the sheep against the wall of the restroom. The lunch break is already over and classes have started. However, there are only special purpose rooms in the vicinity of this restroom, and these are all empty right now.

"W-What do you want from me?! Stop it please!"

As expected: she's not a predator but prey.

She's trying to appear firm because it's me, but alas, her eyes are giving away that she's scared and only add fuel to my urge to trouble her.

I'm good at finding this kind of person. After all, I'm talking with Yoshino every day.

"Is it fun mocking me before my eyes?"

"Stop it...! Let go of me!" she shouts, struggling with a pale face to break free instead of replying. Her resistance is weak, however, because she fears to anger me. "I-If you do me any harm, y-you will be treated even wor—"

Ah, look, this is a characteristic for prey: they immediately rely on others. They don't even try to find a solution by themselves.

"I don't care. Attacking me some more or some less won't make a difference."

But I crush her hope right away.

"D-Don't put on airs—EEK!"

I slap her face. It didn't put in much strength; there's no way she could get hurt by my rusty paper knife.

However, the fact that I used actual violence finished her off.

"How about an apologize first?"

The ashen sheep nods pathetically and repeats, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Now she can't defy me anymore. That was easier than I thought.

"Look, I don't mean to hurt you or to vent of my anger on you."

Fuyuki-san nods repeatedly, although I don't know if she's really listening.

"In fact, I'm actually trying to make your dream come true."

"...my...dream?" she asks confusedly.

"Yes. You're in the student council, right?"

"...Y-Yes... I'm the secretary."

"But in truth, the student council is just the fan club of Reina Kamisu, isn't it? Sakura Kawai being the prime example."

Fuyuki-san moves her head in an awkward way that could be taken both as nodding and as shaking.

"Don't dare deny it!"

"Y-Yes... it is true that we all have great respect for Reina-san..."

Hmph, I sneer and grab her chin. A short shriek escapes her lips because of the sudden touch, proving that she's even more scared.

"And so do you, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

My mouth distorts to a grin.

"If that's the case, then you surely wish for her to be all yours, right?"

Her eyes open widely.

"What? Why do you react like this?!"

"U-Um... I'm not seeing Reina-san in that light... like, I don't want her to be my lover or anything, you know..."

I think I know what Fuyuki-san is getting at. Reina Kamisu is far, far beyond anyone's reach and seems to be impossible to capture. She's just too grand to be deal with as a common person. Even if, purely hypothetically, someone were to win her heart, the law of exclusion would work even harder against that person than it does work against me. That person would be constantly attacked by everyone; and maybe even driven into death.

That's how hard it is to "capture" Reina Kamisu.

Besides, Reina Kamisu is not someone to make a relationship with, but someone to admire; one might be inclined to keep her near oneself for that purpose, but considering the effort required to maintain that state, it is much better to watch her from afar. Likewise, it's much better to watch elephants in a zoo rather than trying to keep it as a pet in a small house.

So, I'm sure Fuyuki-san is being honest with me. However—

"You. Surely. Wish. For. Her. To. Be. All. Yours. Right?"

—I don't care.

I press her chin a bit harder as I repeat my question word by word, all the while scowling right in her eyes.

"—Uh..."

She clearly thinks otherwise, but I've threatened her enough to keep her from disagreeing with me.

"You can't tell me that you have no such desire whatsoever?"

"—Uuh..."

Right. Somewhere, Fuyuki-san, too, feels the desire to keep Reina Kamisu near her.

People like Fuyuki-san, who were pampered all through their lives, tend to be very bad at telling lies. As a result, she has trouble denying my claim that has a grain of truth in it, all the more because she's scared on top of that.

"Hehe... I'll help you," I say with a distorted smile as I let go of her chin.

"...Help me with what...?" she asks anxiously.

"Hm? Isn't it obvious?"

I clearly state my intent.

"—With your love confession."

I'm very sorry, but you can emit as much despair as you want, I'm not going to change my plans.

But I know for certain that you won't escape. Not because you're so scared of me. You've been craving for this, haven't you? For an excuse to confess your love to Reina Kamisu; for a permit that frees you of all blame in the improbable case that you win her over.

—For that bewitching masterpiece that is going to ruin you.

After school, I asked Kamisu-san to follow me to the back of the gym, which is the—admittedly cliched—place I'd chosen for the confession to take place. While I was talking with her, the other girls around her kept frowning at me with blatant hostility.

Needless to say, their hostile attitude hurt me, but fortunately, my goal is of much higher importance to me right now, so I don't have time to think about the pain... but I'm sure that this scratch is going to open once I'm back home, turning into a gaping wound.

Kamisu-san's surroundings urged her not to listen to the request of someone they had deemed a dangerous person, but she adhered to her promise of being my ally (for now), and followed me.

Perfect, looks like I can conduct my experiment.

"Mitsui-san?" Kamisu-san asks as we walk. "Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it."

"I see... I thought that you wanted to consult me about a way to improve the situation."

"Would we find a solution? After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."

"..."

She has a point. Most likely, those superficial feelings wouldn't persist long when the general mood changed.

...But then again, is their hatred against me superficial? Isn't it possible that I have made myself those enemies before this incident and was only left alone because their hostility hasn't been united? Judging from the speed at which they assembled, they must have taken issue with me outside the incident with Sakura Kawai.

"Besides—" Kamisu-san continues, seeing that I'm at a loss for words.

"—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."

That she says with stunning ease; and it's nothing but a truth.

She does have the power to do just that.

Actually, I wanted to discuss this matter some more, but we reached the back of the gym where Fuyuki-san is already waiting. On noticing her, Kamisu-san gives me a brief look. She remains silent, but I'm sure she has grasped the situation.

I scowl at Fuyuki-san so that she won't give in to her nervousness and escape. Kamisu-san seems to have noticed, but she doesn't say anything—as I expected.

"Sorry for... calling you out to such a place," Fuyuki-san says reluctantly.

"No, I do not mind at all," Kamisu-san replies in a casual manner. Apparently, they know each other pretty well, since she's a member of the student council.

"Um... Reina-san."

"Yes?" Kamisu-san asks with a friendly voice and expression.

After much wavering and hesitating Fuyuki-san then eventually said:

".........I love you."

She must have drafted a much longer confession than that—with adornments and pretty clauses, with reasons and excuses; her head must have been full of them—but in the end, those were the only words she could muster in the face of Kamisu-san.

"...I love you," she repeats.

Those are words of courage, of sincerity. No matter if it was a forced confession or not, the underlying feelings are real.

In response to that—

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

—Kamisu-san smiled sadly.

"Gh..." Fuyuki-san groans as she drops her gaze. "...Thank you...for your time..." she mutters in a hardly audible voice and ran off without raising her face once.

Out of the corner of my eye, I observe Kamisu-san looking after her.

—It's just as I thought.

"Mitsui-san?" she says after directing her eyes at me.

"...Yes?"

"Why did you force her to confess to me?"

"Ah, you noticed?"

"That I did," she says. "Fuyuki-san is... not someone who would confess of her own."

"I only gave her a little push because she didn't seem to have the courage!"

"What is it that you wanted to observe about me, taking advantage of her?"

That's Reina Kamisu for you; she can easily see through all my intentions. Hahaha.

"Also—"

"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

Right, you also noticed that, didn't you?

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"That's what I wanted to hear. You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment."

"Reina Kamisu, you do not have a soul."

Even after I said so, her expression hardly changed. Probably—because she did not know how to.

"...No soul? What do you mean?" she asks.

"Oh come on... Kamisu-san, your just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Reina Kamisu puts on a wry smile.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real," I explain.

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?" I ask.

"I do."

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

Kamisu-san remains silent, probably feeling forced to acknowledge my point.

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things... no?"

"Over-interpreting, you say? No, not at all. You couldn't care less about others. Whether I hate you or not, whether Fuyuki-san and Sakura Kawai idolize you or not, you simply do not care. Right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to treat everyone as equals."

"...I never intended to treat everyone equally to begin with."

"That's a flat out lie. You're perfect. Everyone will react the same when they see you: admiring your beauty and deeming you perfect. That's how everyone views you."

"You are exaggerating!"

"Oh, don't give me that. You're prefect, absolutely perfect, and in order to maintain that state, you abandoned your content; your soul. You realized that it's the soul that makes us all decompose physically and mentally! You do not deeply socializing with anyone, and if someone gives in to the temptation and comes too close to you, you bite them and corrode them with the perfectness that is you, propagating it in the process. That's how you maintain your state of perfectness."

"...You seem to have lost touch with reality, Mitsui-san... I admit that I might have a certain tendency to lack interest in other people, but that is all there is to it."

"No."

"Mitsui-san..."

"I mean, just look at all the power you have gained already. Who else apart from me at this school is not your subordinate?" I ask.

"That is exactly what I meant by 'over-interpreting.' Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

"They would."

"..."

Even Kamisu-san is left speechless in front of my straight answer; but surely not because she thinks I'm crazy, but because she doesn't know how to counter my argument.

After all, someone like Sakura Kawai would readily follow an order as simple as 'commit suicide,' and Kamisu-san is aware of that.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"

"—You can't be human."

===4===

I may have acted too carelessly.

Not only was I seen together with Fuyuki-san and when taking Kamisu-san to the back of the gym, I also disregarded the fact that Fuyuki-san is a member of the student council.

Therefore, this situation is not at all surprising. It's just that I was too occupied with Reina Kamisu and the disconcerting feeling I had.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

With these words, Sakura Kawai presses the club she is holding up against my nose. Ironically, they have taken me to the same place as I forced Fuyuki-san to confess: the back of the gym.

I am unable to oppose her; the pain from the stun gun they used on me when carrying me off has broken my will to resist.

The several students surrounding me are looking down at me with blatant hostility. Fuyuki-san is not among them. So she can't stay on the side of the predators after all... looks like Yoshino isn't going to resist me anytime soon, I think to myself, knowing well how awful that thought is.

"Do you really want to beat me with that thing? You do realize that you'll get yourself thrown out of school?" I counter with my remaining spirit. My rusty paper knife has long since broken, however, and can't even scratch them anymore.

"Only if I'm found out," she says with a distorted smile. "I don't think that will happen, though."

"Yeah, I see that you've made sure to have some of your subordinates keep watch. But... what if I tell someone?"

"I'll just have to prevent that, no?" she replies.

With a dirty smile, the girl standing next to Sakura Kawai produces a digital camera.

"...What are you going to do with this camera?"

"I heard your grandfather is quite the big wig in the Mitsui Group, Mitsui-senpai. Oh, but I also heard that your father was so busy gaining your grandfather's favor that he blew it with his wife and daughter of the big wig so much that he ended up moving out."

"Why do you know this...?"

"Your family is of such influence that a divorce is out of question. Don't you think that there is a market for naughty pictures of a young girl that belongs to such a remarkably influential family?"

"...Are you serious?"

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that question?" she answers coldly.

This can't be... real. I never thought something unhuman like this could occur outside of fiction. Even if there is some war with countless people dying, that doesn't directly affect me and the world I live in. The attacks that I am supposed to face are slander and pranks, and that alone was enough to inflict deadly damage on me...

But as a matter of fact, the bunch around me have already used a stun gun on me, and they are armed with a knife, a club and a digital camera.

Sakura Kawai scowls at me and asks, "Where is it going to be?"

"...What?"

"I asked you where you want your first blow!" she suddenly roars and kicks me in the stomach.

"Ugh..."

It hurts.

It hurts horribly.

It hurts incredibly.

This is... violence.

I always felt like I were in a small box, and I felt agonized by the people that were crammed into that box along with me. I hated that box. But in truth, I was protected by that box. Outside of it, I would have been beaten up and died in an instant.

But then where can I live in peace?

Nowhere, I'm sure. A weak person like me will be attacked and killed wherever she is.

I don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

"My head," I say bluntly.

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Apparently, she took this as a provocation; Sakura Kawai became red with anger. Oh my god, she's going to club my head for real, even though she won't get away with it if I die...

And so she raised the club and—

"What are you doing there?"

—stopped on the spot.

I look at the beautiful savior of my life.

"Kamisu...san..." I mutter.

Sakura Kawai takes the club down for the time being and gives Kamisu-san a troubled look: "Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!" Sakura Kawai shouts with a fire-red face, only to be looked at by Kamisu-san in a calm manner.

"If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's...because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," Kamisu-san repeats with a slightly stronger tone.

Sakura Kawai looks at Kamisu-san, after which she catches a glimpse of me just to return her gaze to Kamisu-san.

"......OK..." she eventually says, sulking like a scolded child.

Having heard that, her colleagues exchange glances and traipse after her as she leaves with a downhearted face.

Aah, what a non-independent bunch. They should all just die.

And like that, the two of us ended up in the same setup as the day before.

"Why... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

That was a superfluous question.

As a proof, Kamisu-san is smiling as she answers it:

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human."

"Hahaha..."

Incredibly. She's perfect.

She really does not have any interest in anyone. She doesn't give a damn about my view of her.

"...By the way, does that mean that you acknowledge what I said yesterday?"

Kamisu-san smiles wordlessly in response to my question.

Ah... her smile is so beautiful.

"Not human and soulless, huh...," I unwittingly mutter.

"I'm so jealous."

Kamisu-san gives me a slightly surprised glance upon hearing that mutter, "Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I can—do without a soul."

Suddenly, something Sakura Kawai had told me crosses my mind.

"I don't know if you're jealous, but would you please stop looking at Reina-san like that?"

Heh, so in the end, she was right all along.

I was jealous.

I envied Reina Kamisu for not being hurt by anyone's words.

"I can't recover from this blow."

I'm done for. Sakura Kawai may have been stopped, but that only means that all that negative energy has not been vented; I will continue to bathe in her and her group's resentment, hurting myself, taking damage, driven into a corner.

It's June right now; that means that there's more than half a year until graduation. All the while until then, I will continue to be attacked, and once I've graduated, I may be released from them but new attackers will appear in their places. The attacks themselves won't stop—the person executing them will simply change.

Now and forever—as long as I am who I am—I will keep throwing myself into the spears others have thrown at someone else, getting hurt in the process, and attacking them myself until they really aim their spears at no one else but me.

This is how I'm done for.

If that is what makes me human, if that means that I have a soul—

—then I can well do without this... rotten soul.

"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

That's an honest wish of mine, and in response to that heartfelt mutter, Reina Kamisu—

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

—laughed.

"Huh...?"

"Oh, erasing your soul is not all that hard, really!"

That's not it. I wasn't surprised by her offer.

Did Reina Kamisu just... laugh?

She was always smiling; not because she seemed delighted or amused or anything like that, however, but because smiling is her neutral expression.

I think this is the first time I've seen her expressing real emotion.

The way she laughed was of course beautiful too. Beautiful indeed... but something about it struck me as incongruous, unbalanced, and filled me with disgust. Although I can't put my finger on what that is.

However, I decide to forget my misgivings for now and ask her about her offer instead.

"It's easy to erase one's soul...?"

"Yes, it is easy to do what you would define as 'erasing one's soul.' You just have to drop all your interest in others, and that can be done easily."

"That's... absurd."

However, Kamisu-san does absolutely not look like she's joking. And—she looks like she could do that any moment.

"But do you not agree that if, for the sake of argument, you lost all your five senses, you would not even be able to take an interest in others, since you could not feel anything?"

"Well, yeah, but I think that's a really grotesque example..."

"Yes, but I am still right, no?" she laughs and continues:

"I will help you get there!"

After that, Kamisu-san took me to an empty music room. Apparently, she was entrusted with the keys because she practiced the piano every day there—a feat that only someone as esteemed as she can accomplish.

In the end, she disappeared somewhere, saying, "Concentrate on your surroundings."

While getting sinister looks from Beethoven and his composer colleagues, I ponder about the meaning of her words. Concentrate? What on earth is she scheming? There's no way a "human" could do something like erasing someone's soul...

Or do you want to tell me that Reina Kamisu is unhuman for real and not just metaphorically?

Yesterday she evaded the argument, but I got the impression that today she was kind of admitting that she does not care about others. And she "laughed."

What is the meaning of this... what is the meaning of her revealing her true face only to me? Isn't there perhaps—a really grave meaning behind all this?

Why... why am I here, all alone?

Because Kamisu-san took me here, of course.

Hey... What if the thing I discovered was something that Reina Kamisu wanted to keep secret no matter what? What if she was perfectly aware of the reason for my looks when she came over to my place? What if she only pretended to be my ally in order to observe me? What if she was deliberately controlling Sakura Kawai and the others with a certain goal in mind? What is she's really not human?

If all that is true, then—

—she's going to erase my soul.

I feel like Beethoven and Mozart and Händel and Kosaku Yamada are laughing at me. Do their pictures perhaps have a soul, considering that their eyeballs are said to move in every list of school wonders? Maybe they are hurt whenever we call them "scary" or insult their haircuts, and avenge themselves by moving their eyes?

Please, don't look at me. I'm much, much easier hurt than you guys, since I still have a body.

Perhaps Reina Kamisu is controlling them in order to take my soul somewhere? Maybe. I feel it wouldn't be impossible to her.

All of a sudden—I heard several screams outside.

Curious as to what is going on, I look out of the window. I should have acted with more care; because then I would have easily noticed that Kamisu-san's order to concentrate on my surroundings was referring to nothing else but those screams. I was acting exactly as she wanted me to, digging my own grave.

I opened the window.

And then—my soul was erased.

"—Haha..."

I see now.

So that was your plan.

"Hahaha..."

Reina Kamisu tore my soul out of my body and took it with her.

That must have been her goal at this school; and she is going to continue collecting others' souls to return to her real form.

Right? I ask the person before my eyes.

—She responds with an upside down smile.

Others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others, others.

Hey all of you, is there a reason why you exist? Do your words bear any meaning when you are all destined to be harvested by Reina Kamisu? Of course not. Your lives have no meaning at all. You, too, are crammed in little boxes where you hurt others and get hurt by others. Your Reina Kamisu's subordinates, her servants, her slaves. We're all of no import whatsoever. Meaningless humans.

There's no reason why I should listen to what other worthless people say.

Reina Kamisu is right in every possible way. Only her own words are of substance, and that's why everyone around her was meaningless to her.

Yeah, that's right.

That's the truth.

Right?

And there she goes—there she falls.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Plomp. And as the screams grew even louder—

—I lost all my feelings for good.

===5===

It's June.

As I stand protected under an umbrella, I ponder where the rain, which shows no sign of stopping, is headed—while gazing at the white outlines of a person that have been drawn on the concrete ground near the sakura trees.

The sakura trees have long since lost their bloom and instead put on green leaves. But no one is looking at them. They exist solely for spring and are only planted here for that purpose. As such, they are forgotten during the period when they're not magnificent and become a meaningless piece of scenery.

The trees cried as the rain beat down on them.

There's no doubt that the Junseiwa School is about to fall apart.

It's an undeniable fact that Reina Kamisu jumped down. There have been several witnesses, and above all, there was a corpse in the middle of the carpet of blood spreading below. And that dead body belonged to Reina Kamisu.

Reina Kamisu died.

The absolute ruler, the absolute law, disappeared. As a result, the Junseiwa School has gotten caught up in confusion and is about to collapse.

And I am sure that she did all of that deliberately. In the face of her goal, everything is petty and of no import.

This isn't the end; it's the start. From here on, Reina Kamisu's real goal will become apparent. I don't know what will happen to me in the process, but I'm sure that I could struggle against her as much as I wanted and still be dancing to her tune. It's all her plan. It's all fate.

The die is cast.

Therefore, I won't do anything.

I don't care about all that stuff anymore.

Bereft of my soul, I don't care anymore.

Come to think of it—not that it matters—people with grudges against me keep appearing because I was the last person who spoke to Reina Kamisu.

The hatred and the hostility against me has become so blatant by now that even the teachers are slowly noticing. What a waste of time. I couldn't care less. As if your brittle spears could ever hurt me when I'm soulless and transparent. Oh boy, you should all just die.

I take notes of the lesson that is taking place. Now that I think about it, I've neglected studying a bit recently. I have to get more serious. I don't feel like thinking anymore; I'll just follow the rails laid out for me.

After our classes—which I followed carefully—the prime example of a trivial person came to me.

"It's your fault that Reina-san died!" Sakura Kawai roars as she enters my classroom.

Oh boy, what a noisy girl. I was ignoring her, but I guess I ought to respond to her.

"Even if that's true, what of it?"

"...What did you say?" she asks with a red face as she draws near. It's getting old.

"Haha..."

"W-What's so funny?!"

"What can you do? What can a fox who borrowed the authority of a tiger do, now that Reina Kamisu is no more?"

"Don't mess with me! I still have colleagues who follow me!"

"Even though Reina Kamisu abandoned you?"

"...What do you mean by that?"

"You don't get it, or what? And you call yourself the representative of Kamisu-san's fan club? Looks like you were blinded by her superficial beauty, eh?"

I continue with absolute certainty:

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

"Wha—?!"

Oh wow, looks like she really didn't understand. Pathetic.

"That's absurd, now! Don't make up things!"

"Absurd? Haha... you're quite the funny one, aren't you?"

"But I'm right! How do you explain her corpse then?!" she asks in response.

"Beats me. But listen, she would never end her life for someone else's sake, nor would she despair and kill herself when she doesn't even care about others. Well? That leaves only the option that I brought up."

The red in her face slowly drains and changes into white instead.

"You're—out of your mind," she mutters.

"I'm not the one who's insane," I answer bluntly.

"Are you saying that I'm the one who lost her mind?!"

"You could say that, but in truth—we have all lost our minds."

She grows even paler.

"We have been too long at this school that was pervaded by Reina Kamisu. We're beyond rescue! ...You, too, will realize soon enough that she isn't dead. She's only watching us from afar for the time being. She might approach us again someday, with a smile."

"C-Cut out this crap... I'm going to kill you!"

"Good luck with that. But I'm going to defend myself because I don't like pain. I guess I'll make sure to carry a knife around since you just threatened me."

"Gh! What is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?!"

"Me? I'm the same as you! Just another student going to the Junseiwa School. A human. And—a subordinate of Reina Kamisu's."

In the end, Sakura Kawai spit out a final insult before she left and stopped to bother me.

The rain still hasn't stopped.

Sakura leaves have fallen on the outlined figure on the ground, but unlike the blossoms, which are said to be beautiful even after scattering, they don't stir any emotion inside me.

The rain still shows no sign of stopping.

—Reina Kamisu scattered here.

But while it is true that she threw herself down here, was it really then that she threw her body away? Couldn't it be that she did so in the past or will do so in the future?

I don't know. I also don't know whether it was she herself that scattered or just her magnificent blossoms.

But there is one thing I do know.

"We will meet again, won't we?" I mutter in a voice that is drowned by the rain.

However—

"—Yes."

A voice that must be an illusion reaches me, causing me to raise my head.

Of course, there is no trace of anyone. All I can see is a tree.

"Hahaha..." I laugh toward the sakura tree.

The blossom-less sakura tree somehow resembled Reina Kamisu's smile.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[Kamisu Reina Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Ryoji Kamisu|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Sakura Kawai

2015-12-31T19:07:17Z

EusthEnoptEron: FUCK THIS STUPID EDITOR

==Chapter 3: Sakura Kawai==

===1===

The thought of how thin the ice was I have always stood on until now makes my skin crawl. I have been wiggling left and right like a balancing toy, prone to leaning over—or falling over—any time.

Japanese religion counts thousands of gods.

But doesn't that just mean that people could not decide on a single one? The god you cherish can't be the same as mine, and the god he cherishes can't be the same as yours. In other words, we all consider different things important.

There is no such thing as an universal god.

In other words, there is no god.

If you are able to look at things in a somewhat objective light and look at the state nowadays, then you will see: It is foolish to believe in something.

What people ultimately believe in are tangible things. Money. Because money is much more certain than intangible things like love and friendship. People believe in money, the inorganic, equivalent and quickly betraying thing that gets stained with finger marks in people's pockets and created day by day by human hands at the bank.

It's filthy in a way.

And yet, I knew that nothing could help me better than money, and that I could even buy love and friendship if I used it the right way. In the end, I believed in money in every respect. On one side, those old, wrinkled banknotes that came and went to and from my pocket were dear to me, and the other side, I felt filthy and ended up in despair.

Ultimately, in my world there was nothing to believe in, nothing to hold on to.

I wanted to believe in something beautiful, something pure.

However, there was no such thing no matter where I searched and even if I tried to believe in something, I couldn't shake off my doubts. I ended up trembling in fear of falling.

But that time has ended.

[Plink]

Whenever I think of what creates and defines my foothold, the "Heroic Polonaise" starts to play in my mind. This transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental melody is my guide to a steadfast world.

If I were to describe it as an image, then it would be a lake with water so transparent that I forget that there is water.

What I believe in?

—Reina Kamisu.

I do therefore not forgive people who deny her.

But because everybody knows how beautiful and splendid she is, I did not have to deal with such a person. It was unthinkable that someone would deny her.

However—

Yukimi Mitsui appeared and denied Reina-san.

Enemy! She was my enemy! She was the enemy of us who believe in Reina-san!

I could not let her get away with this. Never.

Denying Reina-san is equivalent to destroying my foothold, to putting me back on thin ice. I could not allow that. What right did she have? "Who do you think you are?" I thought and actually asked her.

However, she ignored my warning and chose to remain my foe. Her attitude was a clear message of enmity to me and the other believers.

Yeah, you have got some nerve. I'll fight you back, then.

I told the members of the student council, which was constructed of students who also believed in Reina-san, about Yukimi Mitsui. That was enough to arrange her removal from the Junseiwa school. This place is full of people believing in Reina-san, who also consider anyone who denies her their enemy.

I was satisfied.

After I had launched a devastating attack at my foe, I was already satisfied.

I was forgetful.

A baited cat may grow as fierce as a lion

Yes, satisfied with making an attack, I forgot to keep my guard up.

Blood.

When I returned to my room at the dorm, my roommate Anna Fuyuki was lying in her own blood in the shower room.

For a few moments I was overwhelmed. Absent-mindedly I gazed at the blood flowing down the drain, at the razor blade, at Anna's naked body as water showered on her, at her left wrist and the straight cut, at the blood spilling from there, and finally I screamed, "Anna!" as I rushed to her and held her.

Brr!

Anna has been taking an ice-cold shower, but that is hardly the only reason why she's so cold. Red blood. Milky skin. Blue lips.

Aah, what should I do? I-I must stop the blood ... B-But warming her body comes first. And I have to call the ambulance. Aah, where to start? Why did this happen, anyway?

Only after I take a deep breath it occurs to me that I should stop the shower.

"...Sakura," Anna mutters.

"Why did you do this...?"

"...Sorry for ... troubling you," she says without answering my question. There's no need for her to apologize!

I shake my head and dash out of the room with a "wait a second!" I can't cope with this alone. I need help. After I fetch Yuuko Kasuga and Emi Tachibana from the neighboring room, I have Yuuko bind up Anna's wound because she aspires to become a doctor. In the meantime, Emi calls the ambulance and informs the head of the dorm, whereas I wipe Anna with a towel, put her underwear on, and wrap a blanket around her.

"I'm so sorry..." she keeps apologizing while we are helping her.

To my relief, the flow of blood stops surprisingly easily. "It's not deep," Yuuko whispers into my ear.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry ... I didn't mean to trouble you!" Anna cries.

I shake my head a few times.

Anna, why do you keep apologizing? Didn't you just cut yourself impulsively because something hurt you? Then why—

"———"

A thought suddenly crosses my mind.

The cut is not deep according to Yuuko, but when I found Anna, she was bleeding profusely.

Most likely, she had cut her wrist moments before I arrived at our room.

No ... considering how hard she is apologizing, something else suggests itself.

Anna cut her wrist in the very moment I arrived here.

We have been living here for over a year; I think I know Anna fairly well. I knot about her family problems and the fact that she's so weak as to cut her wrists, and I also know that she's so weak as to be afraid of dying.

Self-harm is a little different from attempted suicide because the scars are made for others to see. They're a message to the world that screams "look how much I'm suffering!" Then who did Anna want to send this message to?

The answer is quite obvious: to me.

Anna is weak.

She does not believe in her own strength, she undervalues herself, and because of that, she is dependent on others. She thinks she can't solve her problems on her own.

Anna wanted to show her suffering to me. She wanted me to save her.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry..."

As she keeps weeping, I give her a hug.

"Sakura...?"

"It's okay, don't worry!"

We have a savior.

We have Reina-san.

After a short while, the ambulance arrived (of course we made sure that Anna wore her clothes at this point). I got into the coach together with her and kept holding her hand on our way to the hospital. By the time we arrived, her hand had turned a little warmer than it initially was.

Since the blood flow had already stopped, there was no need for a blood transfusion. The treatment of her wound didn't take too long; I sat next to her and watched as the doctor scolded her, saying "Don't do this again," and proceeded to disinfecting her wound and binding it up. As a side-note, her parents didn't come. I don't know if they were even contacted, though.

After we left the hospital, I took her to a café that serves delicious black tea. I figured that we would end up getting home a bit late, but I was sure the chief of our dorm wouldn't sound us out after what had happened.

I ordered Darjeeling tea, Anna ordered apple tea. We both kept quiet while we were waiting for our tea to be served.

During that time, I sneaked a few peeks at the bandage around Anna's left wrist.

The cut may have been not that deep, but considering the amount of blood that spilled, this is going to leave a scar.

I wonder if Anna is even aware of the graveness of that scar?

There is only one reason for a scar in a place like this. As soon as someone sees it, that someone will immediately look at her in a different light.

...No, that's still a minor issue.

The one who should not look at this scar the most is—Anna herself.

No matter how happy her life, she will always have this scar with her. And whenever she looks at her wrist, it will remind her of the moment she cut herself. She will become anxious again. She will have to face her family issues and the actual reason that led to the self-harm over and over.

　They say that with every sigh you lose a bit of your happiness, which I can fully understand. After all, if you think you're unhappy, then you will inevitably turn unhappy regardless of your actual situation. Once you persuade yourself of your own misery, you will blame everything on it. Met with an accident? Because you're hapless. Got dumped by your lover? Because you're hapless. Lost in that lottery? Because you're hapless. Tripped? Because you're hapless. Your haplessness becomes the source for everything, even though there might be valid other reasons. Thing that you would originally not even care about feel like mishaps. And since you think it's your fate, you keep falling down into misery for the rest of your life.

In this sense, Anna's scar is a much clearer sign of "misery" than a sigh, and as such, a much stronger curse that attracts misery.

Our tea arrives. I use this as a sign to start a conversation.

"Anna, what's wrong?"

She ponders for a moment and, for some reason, eventually decides to shake her head.

"It's ... nothing."

"Of course there's something."

"No ... as I once told you, living is painful to me, Sakura. It hurts so much to live. This feeling has been growing for a while now and simply reached the limit."

Is she lying? No. I can read as much off her face.

However—

"But there has to be something that triggered it. You wouldn't cut your wrist without a reason."

I am sure of that. Otherwise, there would be no point in harming herself in front of me.

My remark was correct, apparently: Anna casts her eyes down.

"Come, Anna, tell me about it."

However, Anna hesitates long enough for me to finish my Darjeeling tea, and yet she subconsciously wants to say it. She is not faltering, she is just hesitating. I'm starting to get annoyed.

In the next moment, however, my annoyance is blown away.

"I can no longer be by Reina-san's side."

"Huh?"

In utter surprise, I forget to place my tea cup back on the table.

"Reina-san rejected me."

What is the meaning of this...?

Reina-san rejected Anna?

That's not possible. Reina-san does not make exceptions when associating with people. If she would reject someone, then because—

"Anna ... did you perhaps confess your love...?"

"...I did," she nods with tears in her eyes.

Yes. If Reina-san were to reject someone, then because that someone approached her up to that distance.

"Why would you do that?! Reina-san cannot be degraded to a love interest. I can understand the urge to have her all for yourself, but why would you betray us and risk to be rejected by—"

Suddenly, it clicks with me.

Anna would not do something like this of her own accord. That's just not her personality. She would never take a risk so big as to cut her wrists while knowing that she hardly has any chances.

Then why...? Why did Anna confess to Reina-san?

"———"

Ah, of course.

"...Who threatened you, Anna?"

Her tear-stained eyes widen.

"You weren't just talked into it, right? You're the type of girl who would keep some distance if the other girls joked about 'confessing to Reina-san.'"

"..."

"Who was it that threatened you?"

"..."

Anna does not answer. She must have been told to keep quiet about it. Or perhaps she's just afraid of angering the culprit.

Considering her gentle nature, she might just want to avoid hurting that person.

After all, I'm not willing to forgive the culprit.

It goes without saying how deep the sin and how severe the punishment of taking Reina-san from one of us is.

A world without Reina-san ... Aah, just picturing it to myself makes me feel as if I was drying up from the inside.

Because the liquid that is Reina-san is drawn out of my body...?

Indeed ... as a matter of fact, Anna did also lose her own red liquid.

That's the horrible thing the culprit did to Anna.

I will kill her.

I will kill that culprit!

"Who was it, Anna?" I ask again.

"..."

"You have to tell me; she made you cut your wrist!"

"...But..."

"No buts!"

"...I mean..."

"...Fine. I'll just have a guess."

There are only so many suspects. Firstly, it can't be one of "us." Apart from the fact that "we" understand the pain of losing Reina-san, we would choose another method even if we wanted to bully Anna because there was a chance that she would succeed. Then again ... Anna is not a person with many enemies. In fact, I don't know of anyone who dislikes her.

That means that the culprit is not set against Anna herself, but "us" as a group.

—A person who is hostile against "us"?

I know one. I know someone who fits the bill perfectly.

"Yukimi Mitsui."

From the expression on Anna's face I can read that I am right.

So it was she, eh?

That scumbag who made fun of Reina-san, eh? So after insulting Reina-san, so even hurt my weak Anna?

I'll kill her.

I'm gonna kill her!

I resolved to eliminate Yukimi Mitsui from the Junseiwa school.

There is no doubt that it was she who cornered Anna. A few other students witnessed how she took Anna somewhere (and I'm shocked that they did not step in to help her).

I purchased our weapons through the Internet and drilled down her personal information. As most of the students at this school, her family environment turned out to be very peculiar. This piece of information will be useful to torment her.

Together with Yuuko, Emi, and other students who loathed Yukimi Mitsui for what she did to Anna, I proceeded to executing the elimination plan. We will show no mercy to our enemy. It is important to choose your friends and foes wisely, especially at our age where we are still weak by ourselves. If you show mercy to your enemy, you will end up suffering yourself. Anna did not take part in the elimination. Poor thing. That's why she has to suffer!

After school, we first make sure that Reina-san isn't around and then march into Yuki Mitsui's classroom. The disquieting air about us causes the other senior students, who are still present, to look at us, but because Yukimi Mitsui is the center of trouble, they don't intervene.

"What is it?" she asks snappily. "What does the bunch of you want from me?"

I ignore her barking and press my stun gun against her side.

"Ugha!"

She sinks into a crouch.

"Hmm? What was that strange screech about?" I smirk and, as I look down at Yukimi Mitsui, who is holding her side, I command, "Senpai, mind tagging along with me"

She looks up at me with—haha!—fear written all over her face.

"...Where?"

"Just shut up and follow me, okay?"

She didn't dare to resist or escape. Quite satisfied by that, we walk to the back of the gym.

Once we arrive at our destination, I order my companions to keep watch and turn to Yukimi Mitsui, who is clearly intimidated by us (although she is still trying to look brave), with a scowl.

"So I heard what you did."

"...Did what?"

"Want to play dumb? Remember what you did to Anna Fuyuki?"

She screws up her face and averts her eyes without a word of denial.

"You think you're funny, huh?"

I proceed to corner her with the information I gathered, the weapons I bought, and piercing words. Even she could not help losing heart. But my anger hasn't been vented yet. I kick her in the stomach. It's not enough. I haven't vented on her enough. She made fun of Reina-san, she made fun of "us", and she hassled Anna. I can't forgive her. She hurt "us". I won't forgive her.

And yet...

"My head."

"Hah?"

"That's where I want the first blow! Why don't you beat my head?"

Despite the situation she is in, she started to provoke me.

She completely blew my fuses. That just burned a few of the wires in my head. This girl is playing me for a fool, thinking that I won't really beat her. She is belittling me, thinking that I'm just a tag-along who's clinging to Reina-san. She is looking down on me. She thinks I'm a dependent piece of shit. Don't you think you can make a fool of me! I'll show you what I'm capable of! I'll eliminate you not only from this school, but from this very world that Reina-san lives in!

I raise my club.

"What are you doing there?"

All of a sudden, Reina-san's voice reaches my ears.

I lower my club again. Yukimi Mitsui seems to be just as surprised as I am. It's unlikely that she called her.

"Reina-san?"

"I am very discomforted by this sight. There will be consequences if you beat someone with that thing."

"No, it's OK! It doesn't matter what happens to her! She's making fun of us! More importantly, she's making fun of you, Reina-san! That's unforgivable!"

However, Reina-san calmly brushes off my yell and counters, "If you are doing all this for my sake, then I wish you to stop. I am not angry at Mitsui-san."

"That's ... because you're kind, Reina-san..."

"Please stop," she says in a slightly insistent tone. It might really be just slightly in all objectivity, but this is the strongest expression of intent in Reina-san's scale.

Why would she stop me? Yukimi Mitsui is a jerk who even tormented Anna and—

"—Ah."

I look at Reina-san.

I see ... she knows everything. Of course, I'm mad at Yukimi Mitsui for making light of Reina-san.

However, I only went this far—or at least I only thought of murder—not because of Reina-san, but because of Anna.

I was about to use Reina-san as a pretext for avenging Anna .

As such, she has all the right to stop me. She would never approve of being an excuse for taking revenge on somebody. No, her word is absolute to us either way.

"...OK..."

So I have to obey.

We gave up on using violence on Yukimi Mitsui and walked away from the gym. Since I was disheartened by Reina-san's clear denial of my actions and the others were aware of that, we exchanged no words for a while.

We then called it a day. Only my neighbors, Yuuko and Emi, stayed with me.

"Was that really okay?" Yuuko asks.

"...Nothing we could do, was there? We can't just disobey Reina-san!"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"Huh?"

"I was just wondering if it was okay to leave Reina-san alone with Yukimi Mitsui."

I immediately returned to the back of the gym, but they had already left. I headed to the school building.

Yukimi Mitsui must not be underestimated. She can be very belligerent, and on top of that she must be irritated because of what we did to her. God knows what she's going to do to Reina-san, the person who symbolizes "us."

Needless to say, harming Reina-san is on a whole different level compared to harming Anna.

But Yukimi Mitsui might have turned desperate and plan to soil our symbol.

I run around on the school grounds back and forth, and at last, find Reina-san in the corridor where the second music room is located.

"Reina-san!"

She turns around to me. At a glance, it doesn't seem like she was hurt in any way.

"Kawai-san?"

"Are you all right? Did Yukimi Mitsui do anything to you?"

"Mitsui-san?" she asks and then smiles. "It seems that you have a false picture of Mitsui-san. She is not the kind of person who would do anything to me."

"I don't have a false picture of her. But ... are you really unhurt?"

"Yes, of course."

I let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, my fears were ungrounded this time.

Reina-san gives me a wry smile.

Suddenly, I feel horribly embarrassed as I recall that she has willfully denied my actions earlier.

However, her next words blow me away.

"You have come at the correct time. I was searching for you."

"What?!"

Me? Reina-san was searching for me?

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

Reina-san nods with a smile.

"There is something I wanted to tell you."

"Ah ... I feel honored."

"You are exaggerating."

As if!

"What is it that you wanted to tell me, if I may ask?"

With an ever-so-beautiful smile, she said:

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu in the future."


Ten minutes later Reina-san died.

　===2===

I picture Reina Kamisu to myself.

Above all she is beautiful. It's as if she was perfection given form. No, you could even say that she is perfection.

She is water so pure and transparent that you can't tell where it starts. I tasted from this pure water and had my life saved by it. A human body consists to 70 percent of water. In other words, 70 percent of my body consists already of Reina-san.

The water that is Reina-san is becoming clouded? The foothold is collapsing?

Impossible.

The conclusion that can be drawn is simple.

Reina Kamisu is not dead.

"Reina Kamisu isn't dead!"

Yukimi Mitsui said so.

Even the girl that I considered my enemy said so.

She also announced to be an underling of Reina Kamisu.

Quite frankly, I underestimated Reina-san's excellence.

I was under the impression that by being with her I was able to increase her value to some extent. Of course, I was completely wrong! Reina-san had no problems showing her splendor to its best advantage even in places that are outside my circle of influence.

Therefore, it's perfectly possible that plans for feigning her death came to be without my knowing.

How they did it?

I don't care. The only thing that matters is the fact that she's alive.

Besides ... would Reina-san even need any realistic means for something as minor as feigning her death?

Of course not.

Reina-san can overcome even death.

I met Reina-san's brother, Ryoji-san. He has also noticed that she's still alive. That makes him the third one of us and proves that it's an undeniable fact that Reina-san's alive.

On his request, I showed him around in school. He acted a bit strange here and there, but he also said this to me:

"I don't know what Reina wanted to achieve by scattering, but I do know the cause."

"What is it...?"

"The cause is—you and your friends."

I was confused at first.

What is the meaning of this? It was us who made her scatter? Has her brother perhaps gotten to this conclusion by talking to me?

Reina-san scattered because of ... us?

No, Reina-san scattered for us.

Which means...?

Right, Reina-san feigned her death for us.

I see. That would explain why she chose to feign her death at this school. It was all for our sake. Reina-san is trying to save us hopeless lambs.

Right, we are hopeless.

Anna, for example, suffers because of her family problems. I, for example, am unable to see anything but a dark, dull future. Because there is no god in this world, there is nothing to depend on and there is no hope for us.

That doesn't make sense!

This system is way too unbalanced. Too unfair. Too absurd. How is that OK? Everything's a lie except for the things that hurt? That's cruel!

Therefore, Reina-san can't be dead.

No, she can't be dead.

She can't be dead.

She's alive.

A-L-I-V-E.

I will kill everyone who dares to claim that she's dead in front of me. Because they're too stupid to be kept alive. Why do these ugly maggots even breathe even though they are blinded by commons sense, even though they believe in nothing but money!

Reina-san simply disappeared somewhere because of some reason.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu in the future."


The meaning of her last words starts to dawn on me.

She entrusted me with a task.

What task?

To preserve her place for when she appears again.

Reina-san is not dead, but only very few are aware of it. At this time, it's only Yukimi Mitsui, her brother and me. There may be more, but the number stays small. Moreover, there must be people who have doubts about the lie that is Reina-san's death, but they are lacking evidence.

However, it's true that the lie she spread is very cunning. So cunning, in fact, that the lie will become true once everyone starts to believe it. I don't want to state the obvious, but the dead can't coexist with the living. Dead people lose their relation to the living.

Reina-san will come back, but I feel that her return is bound to certain conditions.

After all, Reina-san is trying to save us. Salvation does not come to people who don't believe in salvation. Therefore, those who forgot her, those who lost faith in her will not be saved. There is no reason for her to appear in a place where she has been forgotten, in a place that is outside the range of her salvation.

It means that I have to make sure she has a place to return to.

In order to meet Reina-san—in order to meet again her again—I have to keep her place unoccupied.

I see! This is a trial.

A trial to test my faith in Reina-san.

As a way to arrange a place for Reina-san, I chose to take advantage of my position as the president of the student council. I asked the teachers to let me have a speech at the monthly assembly and received permission.

The day of the assembly arrived in no time. Through the microphone the teacher who presided over the assembly says, "The president of the student council would like to take the floor." Following his announcement, I climb on the stage and encounter almost five hundred faces, some of which are older than me, some of which are the same age, and some of which are younger than me. Most of their gazes are directed at me. I've gotten used to this sight. After receiving the sign, I, the teachers and the nearly five hundred students bow to each other.

I survey the audience.

Nearly five hundred people. This is hardly anything when comparing it to the numbers used by the mass media, but it's quite an overwhelming sight nevertheless. Is it really in my power to reach their hearts and project Reina-san into them? I don't want to admit it, but Yukimi Mitsui was right when she remarked that my charisma has dwindled. The weight of my words depends on whether or not Reina-san is present. Is it really in my power to show them the right path?

Don't falter! The more numerous the audience, the better. I don't need to convince all of them. I only need enough of them to create a place for Reina-san.

I open my dry mouth:

"Good morning, my dear schoolmates. My name is Sakura Kawai and today I would like to address Reina Kamisu's suicide."

Their gazes focus on me as I address the hottest topic at school. Everyone knows that I took on the position as president of the student council from Reina-san, and that I was her primary servant. They must be fairly curious about what I have to say about this subject.

"As you all know, Reina Kamisu was a special student. I am certain that I do not need to lose any words on how special she was. As such, many among you must still be confused by the sad news of her death. Many among you must still be mourning for her. I was one of them, too."

The students who noticed that I used past tense start to whisper to each other. Not a week has passed since Reina-san throw herself from the rooftop; in normal circumstances it would be impossible for me, her primary servant, to overcome the sadness of losing her.

"However—"

As expected, the majority of the students are all ears for my words. I deliberately choose to provoke them.

"—Let me be frank. Only a fool would be sad about her death."

My words create a general stir.

The students start to exchange glances and the teachers become alarmed. I don't mind if they stop me in the worst case, as long as I can communicate the important things. I only need to get their attention. Some of them will be curious enough to approach me of their own to hear the rest, and I will tell them. My thrilling ideas will soak through them and then automatically spread among the rest of the students.

My network is extensive enough to pull this off, even without Reina-san.

"Why is it foolish? Before I answer this question, let me read your mind."

I feel almost all of their five hundred gazes on me. Excellent.

"Certainly, you were all shocked by her suicide. You are bewildered and you are sad. But above all, do you not have a 'fuzzy feeling' in your chests? Do you not feel that something is wrong?"

As I stand on the stage, I discover a few students who nodded.

"I know what that 'fuzzy feeling' is. Let me get straight to the resolution: you have this feeling because you think that Reina Kamisu might still be alive."

My words create yet another stir.

"Please do not misunderstand me: I mean it quite literally, not in the clichéd sense of her living on in our hearts. Her metabolism is still intact. You may say this is absurd, but then answer me: Can you deny it with all honesty? Can you really say for sure that Reina Kamisu is dead?"

To be frank, I'm only spitting nonsense. A fuzzy feeling? Well, of course they have that feeling! After all, Reina Kamisu, the person who occupied a large part of their hearts, died (they think) from one day to the next without a reason! How could they not have ruffled feelings about it?

However, the ones who fell for it and bought my explanation for their fuzzy feeling will think that everything I said might be true.

Some of them might naturally see through my trick, but can they deny my words with certainty? Can they pass on the compelling thought that Reina Kamisu might still be alive, just to deny what I said? Can they thrust the ones who got their hopes up back into the abyss of despair, even if they were certain it's a lie?

Reina Kamisu is dead. Reina Kamisu is alive. If you had to choose one, you would choose the latter.

If both options are hard to believe, then you would choose the latter.

It's a shame that I have to trick them, but sadly, only few are able to see the truth like me. It's highly unlikely that anyone understands Reina-san like I do.

I proceed to the final blow.

"Dear colleagues, my ideas must sound absurd to you, and I am aware of that. I would laugh it off as ridiculous if I was one of you.

"But ... it is the truth.

"All of you who are laughing at my words will be laughing out of the other side of your faces next week. Why? It's simple."

Yes, I understand Reina-san.

I know the answer.

I only need to give them a glimpse of the answer.

"Because next week, on the first day of July, Reina Kamisu will come back."

My speech turned out less successful than anticipated. The majority view seemed to be that my claims were too implausible, and because this became the mainstream, the people who actually believed me could no longer openly say so.

I don't think it was wrong to hold a speech. Actually, I'm positive that it was the best choice I could make. However, it seems like the world has become too science-oriented to leave room for the thought that someone could resurrect from the dead. Damn ... aren't men the ones who are supposed to only make logic decisions? Our society makes it hard to spread correct ideas. Even psychics who clearly have some sort of power are called fakes these days.

But I don't care.

I haven't failed.

It's true that the majority are fools who are unable to question Reina-san's death, but they're only the majority.

People who believe me, who believe in Reina Kamisu, may be the minority, but they do exist.

"I also thought that Reina-san is still alive! I was relieved to hear that I wasn't the only one who thought so!"

"That 'fuzzy feeling' you mentioned was really preying on my mind. You took a huge weigh off my mind when you pointed it out to us and uncovered the truth behind it."

"Reina-san is still alive! There's no way she would die, is there?"

"I'm not entirely convinced ... but if you are so certain of it and even know when she's coming back, I want to try to believe you."

"I never believed that Reina-san was dead!"

People who said things like this appeared before me. 17 in number. Most of them were third-year students who inherently spent more time with Reina-san than the younger generation. 17 is not a large number compared to 500, but it's not so small, either, if you think of it as half a class.

Is Reina-san going to appear again even with such a small number? Though a little anxious, I decide to be optimistic.

I mean, Reina-san is much smarter than me. She must have foreseen that I would only be able to convince a small number of people even if I did my best. But most of all, the girls who believe in her "presence" are the ones who long for salvation so hard that they have no other choice but to believe in her "presence." Reina-san would never abandon them.

However, that doesn't mean that we can sit back and wait. Just thinking that Reina-san might still be alive is not going to bring about any progress.

What we need is unification. Unified prayer. We have to focus our prayers so strongly that they will reach Reina-san.

That is what has to be done to accomplish Reina-san's return.

In order to proceed to action, I told "the girls" who believe in Reina-san's "presence" to assemble at the Student Council Room after school. By the way, part of the student council, which also includes Anna, also believe in Reina-san's "presence."

It's unfortunate that I'm the only one who "knows" of Reina-san's "presence," but it's not a problem. I only have to guide "the girls" to this knowledge.

It's Thursday, the 29th of June. The first of July will be the day after tomorrow. Time is running out. I have to make sure that "the girls" will make a beeline for our goal without getting sidetracked by anything.

After we assembled at the Student Council Room, we had a long conversation. About Reina-san. About our devotion to Reina-san. About our selfless love for Reina-san. About our relation to Reina-san. About our need for Reina-san. About the importance of Reina-san. About how Reina-san feigned her death. About why Reina-san disappeared. About how Reina-san is going to affect us in the future. About how Reina-san's Reina-san is Reina-san and Reina-san can Reina-san with Reina-san to be Reina-san. Unfortunately, six of the initial seventeen members could not keep up and left our ranks, but the rest of us were able to talk about Reina-san without end. In this manner, we deepened our trust in Reina-san and synchronized with each other.

However, talking only about Reina-san does not suffice. If Reina-san were a diamond and you wanted to fascinate someone with it, you could preach about the diamond's beauty as long as you want and still achieve nothing. Fortunately, they are already fascinated by the diamond that is Reina-san, but still it doesn't suffice. "The diamond suits you!" "It makes you charming!" "You need it!" Similarly, by talking about why we need the diamond and why we have to be fascinated with it, we can strengthen our faith in Reina-san.

"Anna?"

I decide to start with Anna, the easiest target, because she's my classmate, my roommate, the secretary of the student council, and a cutter. Not only can I predict her answers, she is in dire need of Reina-san. She's also a perfect case for the others to listen to.

"Do you have those moments when you feel tired of living in this world?"

Her eyes widen as I pose an unexpected question. It's obvious how she will answer this.

While looking at the bandage on her wrist, she replies, "...All the time."

I nod as compassionately as possible. The other girls, who have been talking with each other, start to give us their attention.

"...Do you also feel like this sometimes, Sakura?"

"Sure," I answer.

"That's a little surprising."

"Do I not look like someone who would get tired of living?"

"Mhm. I mean, you're clever, flexible, and pretty. You ... are good at making your way, I guess? I thought that people like you don't think like that."

"Good at making my way ... huh? Perhaps you can say that. But what if that's exactly why I'm suffering?"

"...Huh?"

"I'm clever. I'm also popular enough to make it to the student council president, although I may have gotten backup from Reina-san. I'm know how to make my way. I'm a realist. Because of that, I was unable to believe in anything and also unable to depend on anything."

Talking about yourself first is a common trick to break the ice. It will unlock Anna's heart

"I understand that you don't have it easy, either," Anna says and adds hesitantly, "...But does it really make you suffer?"

"It does! When you're a realist, you lose the ability to have dreams, you know? For instance, let's assume I wanted to become a writer. In that case, I would realize that it's futile before even trying. There are thousands and thousands of aspiring writers, but only a small fraction of them make it, and only another fraction is able to get by.

"Because of my position in the student council, I often find myself surveying all of our students from the stage. Almost five hundred. That's an overwhelming number! If only one of those five hundred received the talent of succeeding as a writer, how many lots would I have to draw? Do I have that talent right now? Of course not. I never was the best in anything."

"...Mhm."

"When you're a realist, you look up, and when you look up, you see an endless sky. Why would I have the privilege to go all the way to the top? How could I soar up into the sky when I'm currently crawling on the ground? Do you understand, Anna? This is the pain of being realistic."

"...I think I understand."

"Tragic things like child abuse, divorce and accidents aren't the only things that make us suffer. I think that it's the things close to us that really torment us."

Everyone nods in agreement. I know that they all feel discontent with something in their lives.

How should we be optimistic in a world where nothing ever works out? How should we have dreams when we can't even make it into the University of Tokyo, which counts more than 3000 admissions every year? If we earnestly tried to accomplish our dreams, all we would get is scoff at believing in skills we don't have. That's why we give up. Realistic thinking bereaves us of our future and makes us give up. This is how the world throws us into the abyss.

"What about you, Anna? What is tormenting you?"

Anna remains silent. Not because she doesn't want to answer, but because she doesn't know how to word it.

"...I often wonder why I'm living," she eventually says with her glance cast down. "Because it doesn't matter whether I'm alive or not."

"That's not true, Anna! I'd be sad if I lost you."

"Mhm, thanks. But ... that's it."

"What do you mean...?"

"You'd be sad and that's it. Or would my death follow you for your entire life? Would you mourn for me for the rest of you life?"

"I—"

Of course, I would be sad if Anna died. I would probably cry. But ... I don't know how long that sadness would last.

"If I died a shocking death, it might subsist as a trauma. If I died young, you might remember it for that. But in that case, you wouldn't remember me but only my 'death,' right? I'd only live on as a bad memory, which means that my value is negative.

For example, if I went missing, I'm sure you would be worried about me in the beginning, but after only a month you would hardly talk about me anymore, and after a year you would have forgotten me. I think that I don't mean much to all of you."

"That's not true!"

I'm aware that I sound a bit phony.

Of course I care about Anna. She's a good girl—the type who gets along with everyone. On the other side, in many senses you will never find a person of this type in the center of a group. In short, she's one of many. Anna is never the center.

"But Anna, listen ... if, for the sake of the argument, we wouldn't mourn for you so long, what about your family?"

Anna suddenly contorts her face.

Aah—looks like I put my foot in it.

I immediately realized it. The moment I saw her self-ironic　face when I said the word "family", I realized what her answer is.

The answer to my question is "no" and more importantly...

This is the cause for Anna's view on life.

"My family?" Anna sneers with her eyes cast down. "Even though I only have a father who hasn't exchanged a word with me for over a year?"

I couldn't ask about her mother. Nothing good would come of it.

"...Oh, why would anyone care about or understand me when even my family doesn't?"

No one understands her.

I would like deny that, but again, I can't.

It's a fact that her father did not come when she cut her wrist. Of course, she cut her wrist to show me her wound, but at the bottom of it is her family, her father who neglected her.

No one understands you.

Exactly.

The same applies to me: nobody understands me. People are so good at feigning understanding that I sometimes almost buy into it, but in the end, nobody ever understood me. Everyone always dismissed my worries as the wailing of a pubescent, spoiled girl.

Even though they were so defining to me.

Nobody understands my values and beliefs, and I don't understand the values and beliefs of anybody.

Therefore I'm sure I can't understand Anna, either.

"Aah—why do I live...?"

Anna is serious.

To Anna, who is in the firm belief that even her family lacks understanding for her, living can't be enjoyable. She must be wishing to disappear like melting snow. Just like me.

Will this sentiment ever disappear? Will we find ourselves doing some generic office work in our future, and giving birth to cute babies while experiencing twinges of emptiness from time to time? Is that what we will become to survive?

Just thinking about it makes me sick.

This thought is so realistic. So filthy.

We may have been foolish, but we were pure.

"Anna."

"Hm?"

"This sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"This world sucks."

"It does."

"It's painful, right?"

"It's painful!"

"Do you want to be saved?"

"I want to be saved!"

"Do you want to see Reina-san?"

"I want to see Reina-san!"

Dear God, whether you exist or not.

We need salvation.

I demand of you to return Reina-san immediately.

"Reina-san is different from us," I say.

"Yes, she is different. She is incredibly pretty and perfect and I'm sure that there's a meaning to her life even if there's none to ours."

"Yes, I agree."

"...Yeah."

"Unlike us, she does not have any fixed definitions that predefine her life."

"Yeah."

"Then how do we want to define Reina-san?"

Anna and the others look up into space.

"Aah—"

—Their eyes start to twinkle.

"—I see now," Anna mutters. "Aah, I see ... I see!"

"You're right, Anna. Listen, everyone, you found the answer!"

There's no need to explain everything. There can't be a need to explain everything, otherwise it wouldn't be believable.

I only needed to lead their way to a sentiment they already have.

"Living is so painful to us, which is why ... Reina-san lives."

Reina-san is water.

She is sweet water that fulfills you the more desperate you are.

Reina-san bears a deep meaning just by existing.

A person like her—

"She can't be dead," someone says.

"Reina-san is alive," I assure with a nod. "And—she will appear on the first of July."

Ah, at last!

They all made it there.

===3===

Anna has become reliable.

She could even tell where Reina-san is going to appear, now that she arrived at the conclusion that Reina-san is alive.

"If she disappeared on the rooftop, wouldn't she also appear there again?"

I see. That stands to reason.

I can't believe that she was able to deduce this without my guidance.

The other girls who had made it to my level also become reliable and were able to discover the answer.

We head to the rooftop.

It's still eight in the morning. As we make our way to our destination, we receive the blessing of the sun that is shining brightly through the windows.

Such fine weather during the rainy season! This must be a sign from heaven.

While keeping an even pace we walk up the stairway. With cheerful smiles. With eerily beautiful and uniform smiles. For we acquired a goal that we can live for without any hesitation and distractions.

The sparkling door comes into view.

Beyond that door. Beyond that door, Reina-san is waiting.

I lay my hand on the shining door.

"Wait, Sakura."

Somebody calls my name from behind. Slightly disgruntled, I turn around and find Yuuko. She is one of the blinded fools who didn't believe me and think that Reina-san were dead.

"What's the matter, Yuuko?" I ask in a calm tone of voice because there's no point in getting angry at her.

"...That's my line! You're not allowed to go to the rooftop, and you should know that."

It's as she says. While I did go there once with Reina-san's brother, it has officially been forbidden since Reina-san's incident. However, because the students of this school are generally trusted, they didn't lock the door.

"Today is the first of July, right?"

"Well, yes," I answer Yuuko's obvious question.

"Girls ... do you really, really believe it? That Reina-san is alive?" she asks, looking hesitantly at each of the twelve of "us". "And that she's on the rooftop? That's what you think, right?"

"Yes!" I assert without hesitation.

"...As you may know, my family runs a hospital."

I nod.

"I often went there when I was a child," she explains. "My father gave me free entrance because he thought I could learn something. I often made friends with elderly people.

"And I often had to see them dying."

"...What's your point?" I ask.

"You know my point. What I want to say is something that every child knows: the dead do not come back to life again. That shouldn't be news to you girls."

"Reina-san isn't dead."

"You just don't want to admit it!"

"Reina-san isn't dead," I reply calmly.

Oh dear ... Yuuko knows nothing. Unsurprisingly so.

Yuuko seems a bit daunted because I didn't show any signs of becoming angry, but she continues nevertheless:

"...You'll only be disappointed if you go past this door, Sakura! What you will find isn't a bright future, but the bitter truth that Reina-san is dead."

"That's not possible."

"Even if you were to find her ... then it's nothing but an illusion!"

"If you're so certain, then why don't you come with us, Yuuko?"

"Huh?" she utters with an open mouth in response to my apparently unexpected proposal.

She must be thinking that only "we" are allowed to be there.

"You don't mind, do you?" I ask my companions and they nod peacefully. "So? Coming with us?"

"...Fine," she sighs after some hesitation.

You shouldn't be sighing, Yuuko ... you'll lose some of your happiness!

I lay hand on the door again and—open it.

Light.

"—Aah!"

The world opens itself to us.

And then—

And then—

—I was taken in.

Just like then, just like our first encounter, I took in her, who is water, or maybe she took me in.

I listen carefully.

Instead of Chopin's Heroic Polonaise, her transparent and vacant and false and mechanic yet transcendental voice reaches my ears.

"I am delighted to see you all again."

Amidst the light she spoke to us.

Amidst the light Reina Kamisu spoke to us.

As I beheld her beautiful countenance, I started to cry and shiver with excitement.

"Reina-san," I say. The others follow suit and mutter her name as well, also crying and shivering with delight.

Aah, they can see her just like I do. Wonderful. Nothing stands in our way to happiness now!

Poor Yuuko seems to be thunderstruck by the sight of who we are looking at.

"Forgive me for keeping you waiting," the beautiful girl apologizes with an apologetic smile.

"It's OK! We believed in your return."

"Thank you."

Reina-san responds to my words. Aah! That alone makes me so happy!

"Reina-san...! So you feigned your death to save us, right?"

"Yes, exactly."

"If you don't mind, could you explain to us why there was a need to do that?"

"I am afraid that it might be a little complicated. Do you mind?"

"Of course not."

"As you can surely feel, Kawai-san, this world is rotten."

"Ah, so it's as I thought."

"It is impossible to become happy in this world. Suffering is the only option. If you deceive yourself and turn a blind eye to various things, however, it is possible to obtain an illusion of happiness. But since it is only an illusion, it means that you are not really happy by definition."

"This sounds so rotten."

"Yes. Hence, there is no happiness or salvation as long as you do not disengage from this world. This is why I decided to temporarily leave this world and search for a better one."

Does that mean that she counts as dead in this world? ...No, the idea of death is of no importance. As a matter of fact, Reina-san is standing before my eyes. That's all there is to it. There's no need for me to investigate further.

"And—I discovered our paradise. Therefore, I have appeared here again."

All that's left is to give myself entirely to Reina-san.

"It is a place free of suffering, where everything is gentle, where everything is enjoyable, and where everything is beautiful."

I listen closely to her, completely in raptures. The same seems to apply to the others.

We are going to be saved.

I'm so happy that I believed in Reina-san.

I'm so—happy.

"I am afraid to say that I am not able to remain in this world. In fact, it is questionable if you can even say that I am here right now. I may have only just arrived, but I will therefore disappear once more from here temporarily."

Please don't. I don't want to be separated.

"Are you not going to take us there right now?"

Reina-san shakes her head.

"I cannot take you there anytime. It is difficult to explain, but ... please picture to yourselves hundreds upon hundreds of holes. Once our minds leave our bodies, they are judged based on various conditions and then thrown into one of these holes. Some of them lead to worlds that are even worse than here.

"To some extent, I can control which hole you will be thrown into. However, depending on the 'time', which is one of the various conditions, it might not go well."

"I understand."

Reina-san nods sadly. "I will appear here again tomorrow at six o'clock in the evening. I am sorry ... time has run out. I shall see you tomorrow."

With these words, Reina-san disappears.

She did not walk away, she literally vanished.

I look around. My companions, too, still seem bemused and are gazing at the place where Reina-san was standing. Some of them are also talking to themselves as though in trance.

One among them is showing a different reaction, though. I approach her.

"What do you say now, Yuuko? Reina-san's alive, isn't she?"

Yuuko turns her head to me like a rusty robot. On her face I recognize exceeding bewilderment.

In all that bewilderment, she slowly opens her mouth and asks:

"What kind of joke is this?"

—I don't understand.

Why would she say that after such a miracle?

"Why are you all gazing into space and crying?"

Yuuko is looking at the place where Reina-san was standing.

No, that's not quite accurate.

She is simply looking at the place where our gazes meet, with fear in her eyes.

"Sakura! Come to your senses! For crying out loud—"

"—Weren't you the first person to find her body?!"

Was I, now?

Aah, yes, I was.

I completely forgot about that because it doesn't matter.

Because of that, I also told her brother that I hadn't seen how Reina-san fell.

I mean, what of it?

Is that supposed to prove Reina-san's death, or something?

===4===

I was smiling from ear to ear and almost started skipping along.

"Please take good care of Reina Kamisu in the future."

Aah, she wasn't annoyed at me after all! Reina-san needs me!

Suddenly, I heard a scream.

I raised my head to look what was going on.

An instant passed.

In this instant...

A tragedy took place in front of me.

It—

It fell not with the elegance of cherry blossoms, but just like a heavy lump, following the laws of physics, and with a thump.

A warm liquid squirted around and stuck to my skin.

———

Time stopped.

No way.

This is a lie.

As a matter of act, my flow of time was in complete disarray, going faster and slower at random, and it felt much more unrealistic than a dream even ... at any rate, it was a lie.

After all, Reina-san had just told me to take care of her, which clearly was in conflict with the thing that just happened, and, aah, at any rate, this was a lie. What's the deal with ... this? Why did this, huh? I don't get it. At any rate, it was a lie, a lie, and a lie, so I silently laughed aloud.

The hideously deformed something that resembled Reina-san and yet was completely different stared at me.

It stared at me without doubt.

It stared at me with bloodshot eyes.

And it moved its lips and jerked its bloody red tongue.

"—D-O N-O-T F-O-R-G-E-T M-E."

Since there was no sound, I could not hear anything, but it certainly tried to form these words.

Something was clearly out of order. Something was a lie.

This something before me was clearly not Reina-san. After all, it was obviously filthier than anything I'd ever seen. Filthy = Reality? Reality? So it had nothing to do with Reina-san. This something could impossibly be Reina-san. Impossible.

Aah, where are you, Reina-san?

Where have you gone? Did you die? Did you disappear because this something stole your soul?

I don't understand.

I don't understand. However.

If I don't find the answer, Reina-san will disappear.

===5===

Neither Yuuko, nor Emi, nor the other people tried to stop us. We made it to the second of July without any trouble.

The only unexpected thing was that one of our companions stubborny claimed, "Reina-san did not say anything about assembling tomorrow at six o'clock!" It was unexpected, but I concluded that she didn't make it to our level and gave up on her.

We go again to the rooftop. Unlike yesterday, a gentle rain is falling, which is a shame but still better than seeing the moon, because the moon always follows us around.

Suddenly, I notice that somebody is sitting in front of the door to the rooftop. Did Yuuko not learn her lesson...? No, it's not her. It's not one of girls who fell through, either. Upon seeing me, the girl stands up.

"You're going to meet Reina-san, right?"

I recognize her voice.

"Oh, you're here as well?" she continues. "Didn't she turn you down?"

I see how Anna stiffens.

"What do you want, Mitsui-senpai?"

Yukimi Mitsui.

One of the servants who arrived at the knowledge of Reina-san's "presence."

"Do you want to join us? I'm sorry, but I haven't forgiven you even though you may be a servant of Reina-san's. I can't let you come with us."

"Join you just to meet Reina-san? Ha!" Yukimi Mitsui sneers. "I don't need your help for that."

"...What was that?"

"I'll be damned if I resort to your means," she laughs and steps aside. She continues in whispers, "I'm here to warn you."

"We don't need your warning."

"Don't misunderstand, okay? I don't care what happens to you, but if this is the last time we meet, I want to get it off my chest at least," she says and flashes a grin. "My worship of Reina-san and yours are as different as snow and ashes."

"...Well, I don't want to be thought hand in glove with you, either!"

"Huhu, is that so? Well, why don't you go ahead and meet your Reina-san? Bye then. We probably won't meet again."

"Goodbye," I say without even turning around to Yukimi Mitsui, who is waving her hand. After stroking Anna's hair gently, I walk up the stairs again, and—

—open the door.

A gentle rain is falling.

Reina-san is already waiting for us in the center of the rooftop.

Reina-san is waiting, smiling and without getting wet..

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Reina-san."

"Why, no, it was me who kept you waiting, Sakura."

I nod with a lopsided smile.

As the rain soaks our hair and clothes, we are reminded of our physical body through the unpleasant feeling. Sadly, this acid rain is filthy and thus can't wash us clean.

We need purification.

"We don't have much time, right? Please tell us how we can go to your world, Reina-san."

She nods. "It is simple. You just have to employ the same procedure as me."

The same procedure...

I recall the chalk line I examined together with Reina-san's brother.

"Do we have to jump...?"

Reina-san nods again.

"I know that it requires courage. I would like to use a different method as well, but there is none."

I look at the others.

They look at me.

They may not say so verbally, but their eyes are clearly telling me to take the lead. We are all afraid. Of course, we trust Reina-san, but we all know that the panic of falling and the pain of hitting the ground are things that cannot be avoided.

Indeed, I have to take the lead. I have to jump first and show them their way. Just like I have been doing so far.

However—

"I'm sorry, but I can't jump first."

Surprise and discontent appear on their faces.

"There is something I want to confirm at the end."

"Can you not do that now?" Anna asks and I nod in response.

She surveys me, then the bandage around her left wrist, and eventually smiles.

"Okay—I will jump first, then."

Surprised but impressed, we applaud to her.

"Anna ... thank you so much."

"No, you don't need to thank me ... It's an honor to be the first to go to Reina-san!"

I'm so proud of Anna. The source of her present strength may be weakness, but it's still strength.

Anna climbs on the fence in a somewhat clumsy manner and stands on top of it. She almost slips because the rain is getting stronger and thus making the fence slippery. Careful, Anna! Don't fall! Hm? Ah, stupid me. You will fall either way.

Anna stands upright atop the slippery fence and speaks straight ahead:

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

I can't see Anna's face because she's looking forward.

"I will never forget what you said to me yesterday. I was really happy when you said that you would always need me even if nobody else did."

Reina-san nods.

"My scar will disappear once I reach the other world, right?"

"Yes."

"...I'm so happy."

I'm moved.

Reina-san did a great job.

"I will always need you even if no one else does."

This is the very thing Anna wanted to hear the most.

It would sound false from anyone else's mouth, but if Reina-san says it, it's the truth.

But then—

—I don't think I remember Reina-san saying that?

"Sakura," Anna suddenly calls me, interrupting my thought process.

Anna is still looking forward, beyond the rain, so I still don't know what her face looks like.

"Yes, Anna?"

"—Thank you."

Her voice falls downward.

And is cut short.

Anna vanished and spoke simultaneously.

"Thank ... you...?"

Why?

Why would she thank me?

It's Reina-san who saved Anna, and it's Reina-san who will guide her to a better world. You probably can't even say that I bridged the gap between her and Reina-san.

Thank you ... words of gratitude.

But this makes it seem—as though I was the one who brought about this ceremony.

As I'm overcome with this strange confusion, my companions continue to jump one after the other. And before they jump and scatter, they all cite words that I don't remember hearing from Reina-san and give their thanks to me like Anna did.

Watching them makes me feel as though I were looking at artificial flowers that have withered.

Eventually, I end up alone with Reina-san.

The rain has gotten even fiercer. I might catch a cold, I think for a brief moment and sneer at myself.

I'm the last one.

"Kawai-san," the undrenched girl says. "What is it that you wanted to confirm?"

"Yes, there is something I wanted to ask you no matter what."

"Why did it have to be now, 'at the very end'?"

I look at the floor. A water drop drips down from my hair and enters my eye, making me feel filthy from the inside.

The reason why it had to be "at the very end."

It's—because I couldn't let the others hear it.

"Reina-san."

"Yes?"

"It's so hard to explain and I don't know how to put this, but please bear with me."

"Who are you?"

Reina-san remains calm. She is still smiling.

"You're Reina Kamisu, of course, and that's the only way to call you. You are no doubt Reina Kamisu.

"But—you are not the Reina-san who played the piano, are you? You are someone else."

"...Why do you think so?"

"I was always fascinated by Reina-san, but she always made a somewhat strange impression on me. I don't know what it was, but I do not get that impression from you."

Reina-san silently listens to me.

"It's an ambiguous feeling. Perhaps, my memory is playing tricks on me because I haven't met you in a long time, but ... I doubt it."

"Why do you doubt it?"

"Because it's the former Reina-san who gave me that strange impression. If it was the other way around, it would make sense ... but ... as a matter of fact ... you feel way more genuine to me than the previous Reina-san. Isn't it strange that you feel more genuine now than before?"

The rain is getting stronger and I'm starting to get worried if my voice even reaches her.

"If," Reina-san starts. "If I am a different being than before, what will you do?"

"It doesn't matter," I respond without missing a beat. "You are Reina Kamisu. Nothing else."

"Yes," she nods. "I am Reina Kamisu, and nothing else," she says with her beautiful smile. "If you say so, may I tell you the truth?"

"Yes. My decision won't change."

I walk up to the fence and lean against it with my back. I don't even want to think about the sight down there.

"I am a phenomenon that becomes visible to those who believe in my existence."

"...A phenomenon?"

"To you and your friends, I am Reina Kamisu, because that is what you named me. If am given a different name, I adapt accordingly. For example, some call me 'god' and some call me an 'angel'. By being given a name, I take shape and become visible."

"...Do you lead the people who can 'see' you to another world?"

"This is the role you gave me."

"But I wasn't the only one who believed so," I argue.

"That is because you took the lead over them and defined my role for everyone. All I ever do is fulfill my purpose."

I defined her role?

It's true that I guided them to believe in Reina-san's "presence," but that's all I did. Reina-san is the one who is to do the rest and save us.

Right, I'm not to blame.

Not to blame?

What? What am I talking about? Blame? What blame? I only did the right thing and struggled to break free from this filth and didn't believe in Reina-san's death and, aah, yes, that filthy corpse wasn't Reina-san's. It wasn't hers, so I realized the truth and now I'm facing Reina-san in person and, aah, I was right from start to finish. Impressive! I didn't do too bad, did I?

"I ... I don't care anymore."

I climb on the fence.

Like Anna and the others, I stand upright and gaze straight ahead.

"You are Reina Kamisu."

"Yes, I am."

"You will save us from the filthy."

"Yes, I will."

"Please fulfill your role."

"Yes, I will fulfill my role."

There's no hesitation.

The others jumped down, too. I can't hesitate. It's too late. Wait, too late? For what? I do not need to hesitate anymore. The answer is clear, I only need to carry it out.

One question—

One question suddenly crosses my mind.

I was Reina-san's servant.

But why did I decide to obey her without a single doubt? What was so special about Reina-san?

Of course, she was beautiful. Of course, she felt different.

But ... that's no reason to obey her.

It makes me think.

Everyone admired Reina-san, everyone was captivated by her, so much that she belonged in the same category as "god" and "angels."

But where did that deification come from?

I mean—

—We don't know anything about Reina-san.

I stop thinking.

I won't turn around to her anymore.

I'll just look at her the same way as I always did.

I'll just project my idea of perfection on her and look upon her in a perfect light.

I step forward.

And as I do, I devote my last thoughts to her:

I ... we may have suffered a lot, but—

—she must have suffered just as much.

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