Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan

2009-06-13T17:58:29Z

Heatth:

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== Introduction ==
This is a parody of the popular novel "''Suzumiya Haruhi''" series, by [[Tanigawa Nagaru]].

Like a warped parallel universe, all your familiar characters from your favourite novel series have returned but with one twist, all their genders have been reversed.

Experience all the joy of the series but from a new perspective!

== Story Synopsis ==

Not your average Japanese High School Story! Kyon is a first year student at North High. Sitting behind her is an intelligent, energetic and very bored Suzumiya Haruki who introduces himself as having no interest in "normal humans" and that any aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers should come forward and join him. Why is he so particular about non-humans? "Because humans are no fun at all!" Kyon is soon wrapped up in this unusual boy's attempts to make life more interesting, and quickly discovers the world is a lot more amazing than Haruki could ever be allowed to know.

== Translation ==

=== Format Standards ===
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must conform to the agreed points highlighted in the below guidelines'''
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]
*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Guideline|Project Specific translation and format conventions]]

== Project Staff ==

*Project Administrator: [[user:Onizuka-gto|Onizuka-gto]]
*Project Supervisor: [[user:DJ_RockmanX|DJ_RockmanX]], [[user:Kaisos|Kaisos]]

=== [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Registration_Page|Registration]] ===

*Authors must be registered to the [http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/memberlist.php?mode=group&g=1291 Seitenkan Cult] on the Baka-Tsuki Forum before they are allowed to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Registration_Page|register]] which chapters they're working on.

This is to prevent conflict over the variants of the script, unregistered Author contribution will not be protected from disputes with registered Authors.

=== Authors ===

'''ACTIVE'''
::*[[user:Kaisos|Kaisos]]
'''A.W.O.L'''
::*''None''
'''R&R'''
::*''None''
'''M.I.A'''
::*''None''
'''K.I.A'''
::*''None''

=== Editors ===

This is the Project Editorial Team.

'''ACTIVE'''
::*[[user:Lumbargo|Jintor]]
::*[[user:Beanbrew|Beanbrew]]
'''A.W.O.L'''
::*''None''
'''R&R'''
::*''None''
'''M.I.A'''
::*''None''
'''K.I.A'''
::*''None''

There is a [[Suzumiya_Haruhi:Timeline|story timeline]] available which organizes the stories in the novels in chronological order, should you want to read everything ordered by date. =)

== Updates ==
*March 12, 2008
:*Created project page

== The ''Suzumiya Haruki'' series, originally by [[Tanigawa Nagaru]] ==

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Full Text|Volume 1 - ''The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第一巻: 涼宮ハルキの憂鬱]]===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter6|Chapter 6]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter7|Chapter 7]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Epilogue|Epilogue]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Full Text|Volume 2 - ''The Sighs of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第二巻: 涼宮ハルキの溜息]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Epilogue|Epilogue]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Full Text|Volume 3 - ''The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第三巻: 涼宮ハルキの退屈]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruhi|The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruki (Incomplete)]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Bamboo_Leaf_Rhapsody|Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Mystérique Sign|Mystérique Sign]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Lone Island Syndrome|Lone Island Syndrome]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4 Full Text|Volume 4 - ''The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第四巻: 涼宮ハルキの消失]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Chapter1|Chapter 1]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Chapter4|Chapter 4]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Chapter6|Chapter 6]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume4_Epilogue|Epilogue]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 Full Text|Volume 5 - ''The Rampage of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第五巻: 涼宮ハルキの暴走]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 Prologue - Summer|Prologue - Summer]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 Endless Eight|Endless Eight]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 Prologue - Autumn|Prologue - Autumn]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 The Day of Sagittarius|The Day of Sagittarius]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 Prologue - Winter|Prologue - Winter]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 Snow Mountain Syndrome|Snow Mountain Syndrome]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume5 Author's Notes|Author's Notes]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume6 Full Text|Volume 6 - ''The Wavering of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第六巻: 涼宮ハルキの動揺]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume6_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume6 Live A Live|Live A Live]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume6 Asahina Mikuro's Adventure Episode 00|Asahina Mikuro's Adventure Episode 00]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume6_Charmed at First Sight LOVER|Charmed at First Sight LOVER]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume6 Where did the Cat Go?|Where did the Cat Go?]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume6_The_Melancholy_of_Asahina_Mikuro|The Melancholy of Asahina Mikuro]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7 Full Text|Volume 7 - ''The Intrigues of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第七巻: 涼宮ハルキの陰謀]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Chapter 1|Chapter 1]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Chapter 3|Chapter 3]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Chapter 4|Chapter 4]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Chapter 5|Chapter 5]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Chapter 6|Chapter 6]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Chapter 7|Chapter 7]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume7_Epilogue|Epilogue]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume8 Full Text|Volume 8 - ''The Indignation of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第八巻: 涼宮ハルキの憤慨]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume8 Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume8 Editor in Chief★Straight Ahead!|Editor in Chief★Straight Ahead!]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume8 Wandering Shadow|Wandering Shadow]]

===[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume9 Full Text|Volume 9 - ''The Dissociation of Suzumiya Haruki'' / 第九巻: 涼宮ハルキの分裂]] ===
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume9_Illustrations|Color Illustrations]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume9_Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume9_Chapter_1|Chapter 1]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume9_Chapter_2|Chapter 2]]
::*[[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume9_Chapter_3|Chapter 3]]

=== Haruki Theater / ハルキ劇場 ===
::*[[Haruki_Theater_act.1|''Haruki Theater act.1'' / ハルキ劇場 act.1]]
::*[[Haruki_Theater_act.2|''Haruki Theater act.2'' / ハルキ劇場 act.2]]

[[Category:Hosted_Projects]]

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume3 The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruhi

2009-06-13T17:48:53Z

Heatth:

What had been a quiet day in the headquarters of the "Save the world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade," or “SOS Brigade” for short (in reality, the Literature Clubroom), was interrupted when Suzumiya Haruki suddenly burst into the room and announced with the enthusiasm of a baseball team captain who drew the first seed at Koushien:

"Good news, everyone! I entered us into a baseball tournament!"

It was after school one day in June, and it had been two weeks since my 'nightmare'. Since then, I had been unable to concentrate on my studies, and now my test results were becoming a real life nightmare. And although Haruki didn’t seem like he ever paid attention in class, his results made it into the top 10. If God truly does exist, I personally believe that he’s really just a mischievous man with a terrible sense of humor.

Well, that doesn’t matter at the moment… Right now, I'm more concerned with Haruki’s sudden announcement. What the hell is he talking about?

I looked around at the three other people in the room.

The first that caught my eye was Asahina-senpai, his face as innocent as a grade school student. If he had white fluffy wings, he would look like a cute little angel on his way back to heaven. His face and small body suit him, in a way.

For reasons I'm not entirely comfortable talking about, Asahina-senpai was the only person in the room not wearing his high school uniform. Instead, he was wearing a butler uniform. With his cute lips half opened, he looked intently at Haruki. He isn't a domestic servant or some costume-wearing weirdo, but is just following the insane instructions of Haruki, who must have found this costume online again. He keeps bringing in weird clothes and making poor Asahina-senpai wear them. If someone saw him now, I’m sure they’d ask: "Why is he wearing those strange clothes?"

And Haruki would reply: "It's his new class feature from gaining a level!" That is when most sane people would look in the other direction and walk away.

Haruki had instructed Asahina-senpai, "You must wear this costume whenever you're in this room, always! It's your latest award for your slowly increasing manliness!" Asahina-senpai would resist with "But, but..." Even so Asahina would always end up obediently following Haruki’s order with tears in his eyes. He looked so adorable that sometimes I just wanted to run away with him, but so far I've managed to control myself.

By the way, just for your information, two weeks ago his standard attire was a maid costume, but right now, it’s hanging on the clothes rack, thank god.I wouldn’t mind seeing it again, but I’m afraid we might start attracting the wrong sort of people.

After hearing Haruki’s announcement about the baseball tournament, Asahina-senpai the butler made his comment: "Um..."

He made a sound as sweet as a canary, then stopped. A reaction like that is pretty typical of him.

I turned my gaze to the other boy in the room.

His presence, compared to Asahina-senpai, was like that of a thin cabbage to a sunflower. Nagato Yuuki, tall and skinny was. as always, indifferent to his surroundings as his attention was fixed on an open hardback book.

About every ten seconds, he'd flip the pages with his fingers, the only sign that he was still among the living. A parrot would have a bigger vocabulary than he does, and a hibernating groundhog would be more active.

As his presence doesn’t really make much of a difference, there's not much need to describe him in detail. If I have to make a brief description, though, then he's a first year student, like Haruki and me, and is the sole member of the Literature Club - the original occupant of this room. So in other words, our club, the SOS Brigade, is borrowing the use of this room from the Literature Club. To be more precise, we have taken over this room like parasites. Of course, the school has yet to approve of this, since our application to form a club has been completely ignored by the student council.

"......"

I turned my gaze away from Nagato's expressionless face, and saw Koizumi Itsuko’s pretty face, a smile almost permanently planted on. If you ask me, her opinions are the least important out of the three. This Mysterious Transfer Student - according to Haruki, anyway - brushed aside her bangs, her smile widening. As our eyes met, she shrugged her shoulders meaninglessly, furthering my irritation of her.

"What did you say you entered us in?" As no one else was going to say anything, I, as always, replied on behalf of the group. Since when did I become the communication relay between Haruki and the rest of the world? Nothing could possibly be as annoying as this duty...

"This."

Haruki gave me a flyer cheerfully. I took a glance at Asahina-senpai, who had bad memories with flyers, and saw him backing away trembling. I read out the words on the piece of paper.

"The Ninth City Amateur Baseball Tournament."

It was probably a tournament to decide which baseball team was the best in the city. It was organized by the city council, and seemed to have some history, being held every year.

"Hmm..." As I raised my head, Haruki’s huge one-hundred percent smile almost blinded me. I moved backwards half a step involuntarily.

"So, who's entering this grass-lot baseball tournament?" Although I already knew the answer, I still decided to ask.

"We are, of course!" Haruki said firmly.

"When you say 'we', does that include me, Asahina-senpai, Nagato, and Itsuko?"

"Who else?"

"Maybe you could have asked for our consent first...?"

"We'll need to find four more people."

Of course, the moron only hears the things he wants to hear. I suddenly thought of something. "Haruki, do you even know the rules for baseball?"

"Eh, more or less. It just involves pitching, catching, base running, sliding and blocking. I joined the baseball team for a bit, so I know the basics."

"A bit? Exactly how long did you join them for?"

"Just under an hour. It was dead boring so I left."

If baseball was so boring, then why join a baseball tournament? And why are we participating as well?

Faced with my natural question, Haruki replied, like so: "This is a great chance to leave my mark on the world! If the SOS Brigade wins this tournament, we could become famous overnight! It's the perfect opportunity!"

Okay, first of all, I don't want the name of this Brigade being spread even further. Second, so what if the SOS Brigade becomes famous overnight? How will that change anything? And what do you mean by a 'perfect opportunity'?

I didn’t have any clue what to say, and Asahina-senpai looked stunned as well. Itsuko mumbled, "So, that's how it is," without looking concerned. As for Nagato, was he troubled by it at all? He probably hadn't even heard what was being said, as he remained as still as a clay statue, his face remaining as blank as ever.

Faced with Haruki’s sudden question, Asahina-senpai seemed confused, "Huh? But... But..."

"Well?" Like a crocodile ambushing a little deer drinking water at the lake, Haruki moved behind Asahina-senpai, who was about to stand up, and grabbed him by the shoulder, perhaps a little too firmly.

"Kyaa! Ge... Get off of me!"

"Listen up, Mitsuuru-kun! In this brigade, the orders of the commander are absolute. Insubordination is a serious offense, punishable by hanging! All opinions will be handled during the meeting!"

Meeting? Does he mean those meetings which he holds whenever he feels like stuffing weird ideas down our throats?

Haruki continued talking as Asahina-senpai struggled against his python-like grip. "Doesn't baseball sound like so much fun? Just so you all know, our goal is to win this tournament! Not a single defeat will be accepted! Not one! Because. I. Hate. Losing!"

"Wah..." Asahina-senpai squealed as Haruki rubbed his knuckles into Asahina-senpai’s head.

"So, any problems?" asked Haruki. Like it would matter if we had any. You never intend to listen to them anyway.

"I don't see why not." said Itsuko, her teeth a perfect white.

Hey! Don’t just agree like that! How about objecting every once in a while?

"Excellent! Then I'll go skillfully ‘acquire’ equipment from the Baseball Team!"

Haruki bolted out of the clubroom with the force of a small tornado. Asahina-senpai, finally free of Haruki's grasp, slumped onto the floor, exhausted.

Itsuko decided to express her thoughts. "Well, we're lucky that he's not starting a war to capture aliens or planning a trip in search of Unidentified Mysterious Animals. Baseball has nothing to do with the terrifying paranormal phenomena which we fear most, right?"

"Yeah, makes sense." I've decided to agree with her reasoning for now. No matter how insane Haruki is, at least he didn't ask to go searching for aliens, time travelers and espers. If that was the case, instead of wandering around the city searching for supernatural occurrences, a task that was nearly impossible (this, by the way, happened to be the main activity of the SOS Brigade), we might as well play a game of baseball. Besides, even poor Asahina-senpai was nodding his head in agreement.

However, our speculations were wide off the mark. Not only did they miss their target, the arrows fired by Haruki had shot through the ceiling and flown straight off into the sun. I only learned of this a little later, though.

At any rate, (I thought to myself), even if it's not baseball, anything that could attract attention would do for him. The SOS Brigade, which Haruki continued to carry the banner for, not only has an incredibly stupid name, it's not even a real club, not to mention it's not recognized by the school. It was only created because he felt like it.

The official name, "Save the world by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade," is not only long and condescending, it just sounds abstractly absurd. After my suggestion to shorten the name got cruelly rejected, I hadn't been able to find a chance to change its name.

I once asked Haruki just what kind of activities this club would be involved in. Haruki replied with the face of a soldier who had just cut off the head of the enemy general:

"To find aliens, time travelers, and espers, and hang out with them!"

This was the famous quote by the eccentric Suzumiya Haruki, well-known around school since the beginning of the year, and has been associated with sheer weirdness ever since.
This was just like crows searching for glowing objects, cats leaping at any small rolling object, and a housewife rushing for the insecticide when she sees a cockroach in the kitchen. Once Haruki sees something that interests him, be it dodgeball, netball or cricket, he'd probably yell loudly, "I want to do that!" Maybe I should be grateful we aren't playing rugby, since we would need to find more people to make up the numbers.

In any case, to put it simply...

Haruki was just feeling bored.

I had no idea what Haruki had been doing, but when he returned he was completely empty-handed.

“Um, what happened to the baseball equipment?” I asked.

Haruki chuckled awkwardly. “Well, let's not talk about that now... the match is coming up, so we had better practice! Practice!”

Don't we need equipment to do that, Haruki? "And when is this match?"

"This Sunday."

"That's the day after tomorrow!! Isn't that way too soon!?"

"Eh, I already registered. Oh, but don't worry, I’ve already thought up of our team name, 'The SOS Brigade'."

This idiot... "...So where are you going to find the other team members?"

"We'll just grab anyone who looks like they need something to do."

...Are you serious?

With one exception, anyone targeted by Haruki never turns out to be normal. That rare exception would be me, and I had no intention on getting acquainted with even more mysterious people.

"Look, just... you stay put.” I said. “I'll take care of choosing the team. First..."

I thought of the guys in Class 1-5... and realized the only one I ever talked to was Haruki. Putting aside this depressing thought, I thought of the other girls... The only ones who would do me a favor like this... That'd be Taniguchi and Kunikida, I guess.

Hearing my suggestion, Haruki replied with, "Those'll do."

He seems to treat his classmates as mere objects.

"It's better than none."

Anyone else would probably flee at the mention of Suzumiya Haruki's name. Now, where to find the other two players?

"Excuse me," Asahina-senpai politely raised his arm and said, "If it's possible for my friend..."

"Bring him." Haruki responded immediately. Looks like anyone was fine.

Maybe for you it doesn't matter who it is, but I was concerned. Asahina-senpai's friend? When and where did he make this friend?

Asahina-senpai must have noticed my concerned look, because he said "It's fine. This person...is a friend I've met in class."

At this moment, Itsuko spoke up as well. "In that case, maybe I should bring a friend too? Actually, I know someone who's interested in our club..."

I shut her up before she could finish. There's no need to bring your girlfriends over, they're going to be total freaks anyway.

"I'll think of someone." If there was no selection criteria, then there is someone I know who would be very interested in playing baseball with us.

Haruki nodded his head as he looked out the window, pleased. "Then let us begin our training! We start now!"

“Haruki, I already said this. We need equipment to play baseball, equipment that we don't have!” I waved around the flyer. “Besides, this is a softball tournament. Even if you could find baseball equipment, it'd be useless!”

“Which is exactly why I have formulated my new plan.”

“What plan?”

In answer, Haruki pointed out the window at the track field.

Do your best! The sound of the Girl's Softball Team yelling their slogan could be heard outside the window.

----

I know it's awkward to suddenly change the subject like this, (I'm sorry) but I have to let you know. Besides myself, the other four people gathered here in this room, for several reasons, are not normal in any sense of the word. The only person who isn't aware of this... is Haruki.

The other three have all willingly revealed their identities to me, and, apparently, 'hope that I would understand'. If I hadn’t come to an understanding, then the three of them would have been as incomprehensible as objects revolving beyond the orbit of Pluto. However, since the end of last month, I've gone through... certain experiences that have led me to believe that they might be telling the truth. I didn't want to know the truth, but ever since I was forced into Haruki's stupid club, I don't think that small wish of mine has ever been granted.

And sadly, the reason Asahina-senpai, Nagato, and Itsuko attended this school was all because of Haruki, whom they all seem to hold a particular interest in.

To me, he was just a hyperactive idiot with too much time on his hands, but I was the only one in the club who thought that way.

But I can guarantee that it wasn't me that was going crazy.

It was the whole world that was going crazy.

----

Thanks to the events I mentioned above, I was now standing in the dusty track field with the other out-of-this-world members of the brigade.

We were currently facing the Softball Team, who looked stunned at the sudden arrival of a mysterious club, all of us dressed in normal school uniforms, with the exception of one butler. I’m sure it was very strange for all of them.

Not to mention the tall boy who appeared to be the leader of the club had started yelling at them.

“...And that's the story! So, let us use your equipment and the field!” yelled Haruki.

“Um...” The captain of the Softball Team raised her hand. “You didn't tell us any 'story'. You just walked over here and said that.”

“Exactly!” exclaimed Haruki, whose voice was so loud that it could rouse the dead. “So, I propose a trade!”

He grabbed Asahina-senpai and shoved him in front of the softball team captain.

“One, high-quality butler for your softball equipment! Sure, he still needs a bit of house training, but soon he'll be accustomed to all your needs, ''whatever'' they may be!”

The softball team just stared at us in sheer disbelief. As I bore their pitiful gazes, I recognized one as a former classmate of mine. Great, now my reputation is going to be even more ruined.

I walked up to Haruki and touched his arm.

“Hmm? What is it? Can't you see I'm trying to conduct a business transaction here?”

I averted my gaze. “Please, just... let me deal with this... So stop, okay...?”

“H-huh?” Haruki sounded a bit shocked as he let go of Asahina-senpai. “Well, I guess if you think you have something better to offer than this, then go ahead, but...”

Ignoring him, I went up to my old classmate.

“Please,” I said. “Can I talk to you alone about this?”

Two minutes later, behind the storage shed...

“What's up, Kyon-chan?”

Please stop calling me that.

“I mean I knew you were weird, but I never thought I'd see you hanging out with Suzumiya Haruki...”

...Exactly how far has his notoriety reached? “Look, can you guys just play along and let us practice? He signed us up for a tournament the day after tomorrow and we're totally unprepared... He won't listen to me, and there's nothing we can do to stop him, so please, please, ''please'' let us use the track field and your equipment to practice...”

My former classmate looked thoughtful. “I dunno... it’s not that big of a deal, but we do have a game next week, so we have to get ready, and I don't even know if the captain would listen to me...”

Fortunately, I have a secret weapon. “If you let us do this, I can personally promise you that Haruki will never come near any of the members of the softball team ever again.”

----

Another two minutes later...

“I got us what you wanted.”

“Wow! That was fast! I wonder what kind of methods you had to use…”

“...” I kicked Haruki in the shin.

And so our rigorous training for a baseball tournament we never wanted to enter began.

"Let's start with a thousand hits!"

Haruki then proceeded to toss up a pile of baseballs and smash each one at the rest of the SOS brigade, who had been forced to stand in a line at the pitcher mound with only a mitt like a trio of prisoners to be executed by firing squad.

"Gaah!" Asahina-senpai immediately cried out, dropping to his knees and covering his head with his glove. Looking at his cowering form, I had no choice but to try and protect him. And each of Haruki's strikes had a killing instinct in them, so catching them became a matter of life-and-death. No matter what he does, he always goes all out.

Itsuko was wearing her usual grin. "Hmm, I haven't played like this since I was little. Makes me feel so nostalgic..." She casually dodged Haruki's wild pitches, flashing me a perfect, snow white smile.

If you have so much energy, why don't help me protect Asahina-senpai!?

I turned to Nagato and saw him standing very still, facing Haruki. He just stood there, completely ignoring the balls flying in his direction, not moving even when the ball grazed past his ear by a few centimeters. Occasionally, he would slowly move his gloved left hand, like a remote-controlled robot, and catch the balls aimed directly at him, then slowly put his hand down again.

Um, Nagato-san? Maybe you ought to move around a bit more... or should I be complimenting you on your good eyes instead?

Or maybe I shouldn't be paying attention to other people, as a ball skipped past my glove and under my legs, and hit Asahina-senpai in the knees. Crap, that was careless of me.

"Oww!" Asahina-senpai the butler yelled, "It hurts......"

He started to sob. I can't just stand by and let this happen.

"I'll be counting on you two!" After saying that to Itsuko and Nagato, I shielded poor Asahina-senpai and brought him out of the line of fire.

Haruki's complaints sailed across the diamond. "Oi! Where're you two going? Kyon! Mitsuuru-kun! Get back here!"

"He needs medical treatment!"

“The hell?! Those are ''soft''balls! How do you expect him to turn into a manly man if you're always babying him!?”

He has a point, but Asahina-senpai does seem to be in real pain. I raised my hand in farewell and ignored Haruki's protests.

“Hey, I'm not done yet! Bring him back here! It’s all a part of the secret formula to winning, which is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, and fifty percent pain! Did you hear that? FIFTY PERCENT PAIN!”

Pretending I didn't hear Haruki's strange outbursts, I brought Asahina-senpai to the nurse's office.

----

Asahina-senpai covered his eyes with his hands, rubbing off his tears as he walked shoulder to shoulder with me on the corridor. It was only then that he realized that he was leaning on me.

"Waaaagh!" He shrieked in shock, and leapt away while looking at me with slightly reddened cheeks.

"Kyon-nee-chan, you can't,” he said. “If you get too close to me... It'll happen again..."

He's said something like this before, but I have no idea what he's talking about.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Asahina-senpai, you can go home now. I'll tell Haruki that the injury on your leg will take a couple days to heal."

"But... there's no way he's going to believe that..."

I shook my hand. "Don't worry. It’s his fault anyways."

Asahina-senpai lowered his head and glanced at me, his eyes still teary. Aggh, is he really a high school student? He’s too cute...

"Thanks, Kyon-nee-chan." After Asahina-senpai gave me a smile so adorable I practically died, he turned his back to me as though feeling ashamed, and walked away.

----

When I returned to the field, the batting practice was still in progress. What surprised me was that the members of the Softball Team were now in defense, while Itsuko and Nagato watched outside the field.

When Itsuko saw me, she smiled happily. "Oh, you've returned?"

"What's he up to now?" I asked.

"As you can see, it seems he wasn't satisfied with our performance. He's been like that since you left."

He was simply incredible. Every ball he hit flew to the direction that he had intended.

The three of us had nothing to do apart from observing Haruki's astounding swing. Eventually, that mentally insane idiot finally put down his bat and wiped his sweat while looking as satisfied as a Cheshire cat.

"He's really amazing. He actually managed to get a thousand hits." said Itsuko cheerfully.

"What's really amazing is that you actually bothered to count."

"......" Nagato turned away silently. I decided to follow suit.

"Um, hey," I suggested to the willowy student in front of me. "Could you make it rain on the day of the match? A big storm, one that would force the match to be canceled..."

"It is not impossible." Nagato answered plainly, while continuing to walk, "But it is not recommended."

"Why's that?"

"Partial data alteration of the environment would result in side-effects in the planet's ecosystem."

"Side-effects? For how long?"

"A few centuries to ten thousand years."

Now that's a long time. "Then it's better not to do it, right?"

"Indeed." Nagato nodded his head forward about five centimeters, then continued to walk forward without stopping.

I turned around and saw Haruki standing on the pitcher's mound, preparing to pitch.

----

Two days later. Sunday. 8.00 A.M. Sharp. (Be there, or it's the ''death penalty''!)

We were gathered at the Municipal Sports Center, where there were two baseball fields adjacent to the athletic track field. The tournament would be a series of five-inning games, and would take two weeks to complete. The semi-finalists were to be decided by tonight, with the semi-finals and final being played next Sunday. Only our team was dressed in something besides the standard baseball uniform; instead, we were standing out in our school track suits. And this is a bit off-topic, but this was the first time I've seen Nagato wear something else besides his school uniform.)

I keed, I keed, I’m just trolling.

Also there is no translation error, a five-inning a game means there are five switches between offense and defense, rather than say a nine-inning game where there would be nine switches. So when it says “two weeks” it means the tournament in total would take two weeks.]

I later learned that this grasslot softball tournament had quite some history behind it, as this was the ninth installment, and it looked like a pretty prestigious tournament. Because of this, I really wished the organizers would reject Haruki's application when he handed it in.

Oh, and I guess this is worth mentioning, too. After giving Taniguchi and Kunikida a call, the two of them agreed to come right away. Taniguchi was only interested in seeing Nagato and Asahina, while Kunikida said, 'This sounds like fun' and decided to come as well. I'm really glad that they're both so simple-minded. It's so nice to have friends you can count on.

The person Asahina-senpai brought to help was a male upperclassman called Tsuruya. He was nearly as tall as Haruki, and was wearing a huge grin. He also seemed to be a cheerful and energetic person because when he saw me he clapped me on the shoulder and said,

"So you're Kyon-chan, eh? Mitsuuru's always talking about you. Hmm..."

He studied me from top to bottom before nodding approvingly...

For some reason, Asahina-senpai flushed and looked away nervously at his friend's comment. Um, Asahina-senpai, just what did you say about me?

At this moment, the last player that I brought was now facing off with Haruki.

Haruki stared for a moment before marching towards me. "Kyon, come over here. We need to talk." Haruki took me by the arm towards the side of the organizer's tent.

"Exactly what were you on? Look at that thing, you're actually going to let him play softball?"

What do you mean 'that thing?' Isn't that a bit rude, Haruki? He may be 'a thing,' (and very annoying) but he's still my brother.

"He even came up to me and introduced himself, saying how he's the best in fifth grade at sports and how he's here to “kick ass and chew bubble gum”. He's way too cool to be your little brother. Wait, no, that's not my point. Look, it would have been fine if he were playing in the Little League, but this is a softball tournament for the big kids!"

I didn't just bring my brother without thinking, you know. This was all part of my master plan.

I had thought, 'Why on Earth do I want to get up on Sunday morning just to do some exercise?'

I never volunteered for this, but it was inevitable that things have developed to their current state. If that was going to be the case, it was only natural for me to at least want this tournament, which I have no interest in, to be over as quickly as possible. It would be perfect if we lost quickly so everyone can go home and go back to sleep. Even without my brother, (who, by the way, is the worst in his class in gym) with such a rag-tag group, we'll definitely lose our first game.

However, the leader of this team is none other than the Incredible Suzumiya Haruki. If we accidentally won, it would create a chain of ever more troublesome events, and this was why I had to inject a factor that would ensure our loss. If I brought some amateur little kid in, there's no way in hell we'd win.

Of course, I couldn't let Haruki know about my plan.

"Eh, forget it." Haruki grunted and turned around. "We'll let them win one inning. It won't be fun if we win too much."

I really have no idea where he gets this confidence.

"We still haven't decided on the fielding positions and batting order yet.” I said, “What do you have in mind?"

"I've already thought of that." Haruki's face glowed with his usual smug grin, as he took out a piece of paper from his track suit pocket. As he left till today to decide on the positions, I have no idea what criteria he's going to use to decide who plays where.

"I decided to use this. No one's gonna disagree, right?"

There were two pieces of paper. Each piece was criss-crossed with eight lines. Am I seeing things? It looks like one of those ladder-tracing lottery games...

"You're surprised? Of course it's a lottery. I split the lottery into two, one for batting and one for fielding positions. I'm the pitcher and first batter, by the way."

"So you've decided on this method instead?"

"Eh, what's with that look of yours? You got a problem? This is the most democratic way. Ancient Greek leaders were chosen by ladder-tracing as well, ya know."

Stop comparing the political system of Ancient Greece with the selection method of a modern Japanese baseball team, Haruki. Besides, you only decided this on a whim. Just how is that democratic, exactly?

...Forget it. This way, we could lose quickly. According to the tournament rules, the game would end if the score difference between the teams was more than ten runs, and I think I should start preparing to head home now, since our first opponent was a top team with the best defense in the tournament for the past three years.

The Kamigahara Ninjas.

Let me announce the batting a fielding positions of "Suzumiya Haruki's SOS Brigade Baseball Team (Of Legends)", decided entirely by the God of Lottery, that is to say, by chance.

First batter, second baseman: Me. Second batter, center fielder: Nagato Yuuki. Third batter, right fielder: Asahina Mitsuuru. Fourth batter, pitcher: Suzumiya Haruki. Fifth batter, left fielder: My brother. Sixth batter, catcher: Koizumi Itsuko. Seventh batter, first baseman: Kunikida. Eighth batter, third baseman: Tsuruya-san. Ninth batter, shortstop: Taniguchi.

Why am I up first!?

That's the line-up of our team. No substitutes, no managers. Not even any cheereleaders.

Man, what a sad baseball team.

----

After both the teams had paid their respects to one another, Haruki grinned at me and jerked his head towards the batter's box. Regretfully, I had to comply with his 'order'. Since we had completely forgotton the existance of helmets, we had to borrow some second-hand white helmets from the Organizing Committee. If there was anything that ''truly'' belonged to us, it would have to be the nine obnoxiously yellow loudspeakers that Haruhi had obtained.

The opposing pitcher, a tall girl with blonde hair, smiled at me in a way that chillingly reminded me Haruki. I just gritted my teeth and waiting, bat raised.

When the umpire yelled, "Play Ball!", the girl stretched her arm back and hurled the ball straight at me.

I didn't swing. So that made it a strike.

...that was ''scary''. That ball was ''fast''. It sliced through the air, making a high-pitched whizzing noise - I had no idea what speed it was really travelling at, but it moved way faster than I could blink. In fact, the second it left the pitcher's hand, it seemed to me that it had already landed in the catcher's glove.

What in the name of- this is baseball? I knew we were never going to win, but this is - this is just insane!

The second pitch. The ball curved. I guess this is a 'curveball'? If I had ignored it, it would have been a what-do-you-call-it, a 'ball', but my instinct went off and I took a swipe at it.

So you can guess how things went from here. I didn't unlock any eleventh-hour superpowers, so I was declared 'out'. As I passed Haruki as I stamped back towards the bench, he gave me a thumbs up in congratulations for my failure.

"Good job out there, Kyon! Don't worry about it, baseball isn't a girl's sport anyway. Leave it to us men," he said, puffing out his chest like a jiggabird, "''we'll'' show you how it's done."

I kicked him in the shin again.

The second batter up was Nagato, who walked silently to the batter's box, dragging the tip of the aluminum bat on the ground. Back on the bench, my little brother slid over towards me with his usual evil grin. Why does everyone keep making that face at me today?

“Hey, hey, Kyon-chan. That guy who's up to bat, wasn't he the guy who walked you home once? Isn't he your boyfmmph!”

Damnit! Not in front of Haruki, or anything could happen! I'll buy you a month's supply of sweet sugary treats if you just shut your trap, so please, please, ''please'' be quiet!

Back at home base...

"..."

Nagato simply ignored all the balls being pitched his way, and was therefore struck out near-instantly. He silently returned to the bench, took off his helmet and handed the bat to the next batter – Asahina-senpai.

Haruki looked absolutely dumbfounded. “Yuuki, what was... what was that!? You call that batting!? You're supposed to hit the ball!”

"..."

“Look, just... nevermind. Mitsuuru-kun!” Haruki yelled, throwing one of his arms around Asahina-senpai, who squealed.

“Gyaa! Don't hurt me!”

“Listen up, Mitsuuru-kun. You're our only hope. The only person we can rely on.” Haruki pronounced, quite seriously.

“S, Suzumiya-san, I really don't...”

“You understand? This is something that ''only you can do''.”

And so, our third batter, Asahina-senpai, wearing a wide helmet that barely fit his small head, walked hesitantly towards the batter's box.

"M-may the best wi...... Gyaa!"

Before he could finish, a high angled straight ball came shooting his way... straight into his gut. Asahina-senpai immediately doubled over in pain, as the pitcher began to apologise profusely - "Whoops, my bad. Man, are you okay?". I could see she didn't mean it though, a slight smirk just visible on her face. That bitch! How dare she hurt Asahina-Senpai! Maybe I should figure out Haruki's policy on hitting girls...

“Suck it up, Mitsuuru-kun!”

....though he doesn't appear to care at all.

The umpire ruled it a foul, but after he stood up, Asahina-senpai just stood as stiff and as still as a Buddha statute, and only trembled silently as all three pitches flew past him. When the umpire announced that he had struck out, he breathed a sigh of relief and returned to the bench.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Mitsuuru-kun. You were our only hope." Haruki grumbled, as Asahina-senpai plopped down. Haruki's complaints are nothing, though; what's important was that Asahina-san was safe.

And so it ended with three consecutive strike outs, and both sides had to switch positions.

Not even a single hit. This was so embarrassing.

----

To be brutally honest with you, our defense had more holes than you would find in a tropical savanna ant hill. The outfield defense was especially ridiculous. As I learned in our pre-match warm-up, neither our right-fielder Asahina-senpai nor our right fielder my lying brother can actually catch a ball. So when the ball flew to the right side of the field, it had to be retrieved by me, the second baseman; when it flew to the left field, Taniguchi the short stop would have to run for her life to retrieve the ball.

Whenever Asahina-senpai sees the ball flying towards him, he'd collapse, curl up on the ground and start muttering something about “high hopes”, so we can't expect him to do any actual defending. As for my brother, he'd certainly chase after the ball energetically, but the ball would always land three feet away from where he was standing, so he isn't of much help either.

Nagato the center fielder was flawless when catching the ball, but he only reacted to the ones that that flew within his immediate range, and his reaction time was just dead slow. If a line drive rocketed straight past him, our opponent might as well have scored a run already.

God, our team sucks. Might as well hurry up and lose so we can go home already. That wouldn't be too bad, actually.

"C'mon! Bring it on, women!" Haruki, the only one with any enthusiasm, walked enthusiastically towards the pitcher's mound. (The gloves, shin guards and chest protector for our catcher Itsuko were, of course, all borrowed.)

Our opponent's first batter bowed to the organizers, then headed to the batter's box.

Haruki wound up his arm in an exaggerated fashion, slung his arm, and made his first pitch.

''Strike''.

It was a really good pitch, I'm not sure why, perhaps the angle, speed or control of the ball. Either way, the ball landed right in the center of the strike zone, with so much power behind it that the batter didn't even have a chance to swing his bat.

Of course, the SOS Brigade members, myself included, weren't surprised by this at all. If this guy were to be suddenly called up to join the Japanese National Soccer Team, I'd think we wouldn't be too suprised about it. There's nothing that's impossible for Haruki - sportswise, anyway.

It wasn't easy for the opponent's first batter. She couldn't swing her bat for two consecutive strikes, and only managed to react for the third pitch, but still struck out. The third pitch seemed like one of those change up balls that curves slightly when entering the strike zone, as unpredictable as Haruki's personality.

The second batter listened to the suggestions of the first batter (who, as I said, never managed a hit), and tried to bunt. Yet she hit the ball outside the foul line twice and missed the third pitch, so she, too, struck out.

“Hahaha! You see?” Haruki shouted happily over towards second base. “These wenches stand no chance against the might of Suzumiya!”

Seeing how the situation was beginning to change, I was beginning to feel uneasy. Both teams weren't going to drag on like this till the last inning, were they? Also, it looks like Haruki's incredibly sexist comments are beginning to get to them... they were certainly getting to me.

So, as expected from their clean-up, the third batter managed to make a direct hit on Haruki's powerful fastball. If you keep pitching fastballs, Haruki, it's only a matter of time before one gets hit...

The ball hurtled past Nagato's head, who remained rooted to the ground there, and disappeared into the distance. With the look of Agamemnon who had just been betrayed by his wife, Haruki glared furiously at the third batter who had just hit a home run.

Anyway, as a result, we were now one run behind.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Prologue|Prologue]]
| Forward to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Bamboo_Leaf_Rhapsody|Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume3 The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruhi

2009-06-13T17:43:16Z

Heatth: New page: What had been a quiet day in the headquarters of the "Save the world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade," or “SOS Brigade” for short (in reality, the Literature Club...

What had been a quiet day in the headquarters of the "Save the world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade," or “SOS Brigade” for short (in reality, the Literature Clubroom), was interrupted when Suzumiya Haruki suddenly burst into the room and announced with the enthusiasm of a baseball team captain who drew the first seed at Koushien:

"Good news, everyone! I entered us into a baseball tournament!"

It was after school one day in June, and it had been two weeks since my 'nightmare'. Since then, I had been unable to concentrate on my studies, and now my test results were becoming a real life nightmare. And although Haruki didn’t seem like he ever paid attention in class, his results made it into the top 10. If God truly does exist, I personally believe that he’s really just a mischievous man with a terrible sense of humor.

Well, that doesn’t matter at the moment… Right now, I'm more concerned with Haruki’s sudden announcement. What the hell is he talking about?

I looked around at the three other people in the room.

The first that caught my eye was Asahina-senpai, his face as innocent as a grade school student. If he had white fluffy wings, he would look like a cute little angel on his way back to heaven. His face and small body suit him, in a way.

[D-Note: I changed the elementary to grade school because it sounds a little smoother.]

For reasons I'm not entirely comfortable talking about, Asahina-senpai was the only person in the room not wearing his high school uniform. Instead, he was wearing a butler uniform. With his cute lips half opened, he looked intently at Haruki. He isn't a domestic servant or some costume-wearing weirdo, but is just following the insane instructions of Haruki, who must have found this costume online again. He keeps bringing in weird clothes and making poor Asahina-senpai wear them. If someone saw him now, I’m sure they’d ask: "Why is he wearing those strange clothes?"

And Haruki would reply: "It's his new class feature from gaining a level!" That is when most sane people would look in the other direction and walk away.

Haruki had instructed Asahina-senpai, "You must wear this costume whenever you're in this room, always! It's your latest award for your slowly increasing manliness!" Asahina-senpai would resist with "But, but..." Even so Asahina would always end up obediently following Haruki’s order with tears in his eyes. He looked so adorable that sometimes I just wanted to run away with him, but so far I've managed to control myself.

By the way, just for your information, two weeks ago his standard attire was a maid costume, but right now, it’s hanging on the clothes rack, thank god.I wouldn’t mind seeing it again, but I’m afraid we might start attracting the wrong sort of people.

[D-note: The awkwardness and weirdness is pretty well implied, no sense in overemphasizing it.]

After hearing Haruki’s announcement about the baseball tournament, Asahina-senpai the butler made his comment: "Um..."

He made a sound as sweet as a canary, then stopped. A reaction like that is pretty typical of him.

[D-note: “He made a sound like the sweet chirping of a canary.” Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and say that doesn’t make much sense, so I’m sticking with the original.]

I turned my gaze to the other boy in the room.

His presence, compared to Asahina-senpai, was like that of a thin cabbage to a sunflower. Nagato Yuuki, tall and skinny was. as always, indifferent to his surroundings as his attention was fixed on an open hardback book.

About every ten seconds, he'd flip the pages with his fingers, the only sign that he was still among the living. A parrot would have a bigger vocabulary than he does, and a hibernating groundhog would be more active.

As his presence doesn’t really make much of a difference, there's not much need to describe him in detail. If I have to make a brief description, though, then he's a first year student, like Haruki and me, and is the sole member of the Literature Club - the original occupant of this room. So in other words, our club, the SOS Brigade, is borrowing the use of this room from the Literature Club. To be more precise, we have taken over this room like parasites. Of course, the school has yet to approve of this, since our application to form a club has been completely ignored by the student council.

"......"

I turned my gaze away from Nagato's expressionless face, and saw Koizumi Itsuko’s pretty face, a smile almost permanently planted on. If you ask me, her opinions are the least important out of the three. This Mysterious Transfer Student - according to Haruki, anyway - brushed aside her bangs, her smile widening. As our eyes met, she shrugged her shoulders meaninglessly, furthering my irritation of her.

"What did you say you entered us in?" As no one else was going to say anything, I, as always, replied on behalf of the group. Since when did I become the communication relay between Haruki and the rest of the world? Nothing could possibly be as annoying as this duty...

"This."

Haruki gave me a flyer cheerfully. I took a glance at Asahina-senpai, who had bad memories with flyers, and saw him backing away trembling. I read out the words on the piece of paper.

"The Ninth City Amateur Baseball Tournament."

It was probably a tournament to decide which baseball team was the best in the city. It was organized by the city council, and seemed to have some history, being held every year.

"Hmm..." As I raised my head, Haruki’s huge one-hundred percent smile almost blinded me. I moved backwards half a step involuntarily.

"So, who's entering this grass-lot baseball tournament?" Although I already knew the answer, I still decided to ask.

"We are, of course!" Haruki said firmly.

"When you say 'we', does that include me, Asahina-senpai, Nagato, and Itsuko?"

"Who else?"

"Maybe you could have asked for our consent first...?"

"We'll need to find four more people."

Of course, the moron only hears the things he wants to hear. I suddenly thought of something. "Haruki, do you even know the rules for baseball?"

"Eh, more or less. It just involves pitching, catching, base running, sliding and blocking. I joined the baseball team for a bit, so I know the basics."

"A bit? Exactly how long did you join them for?"

"Just under an hour. It was dead boring so I left."

If baseball was so boring, then why join a baseball tournament? And why are we participating as well?

Faced with my natural question, Haruki replied, like so: "This is a great chance to leave my mark on the world! If the SOS Brigade wins this tournament, we could become famous overnight! It's the perfect opportunity!"

Okay, first of all, I don't want the name of this Brigade being spread even further. Second, so what if the SOS Brigade becomes famous overnight? How will that change anything? And what do you mean by a 'perfect opportunity'?

I didn’t have any clue what to say, and Asahina-senpai looked stunned as well. Itsuko mumbled, "So, that's how it is," without looking concerned. As for Nagato, was he troubled by it at all? He probably hadn't even heard what was being said, as he remained as still as a clay statue, his face remaining as blank as ever.

[D-note: Quick Vocab Course, “murmur” has more negative connotations than “mumble,” more often used as a means of quiet complaint than just lowering your voice to inaudible levels. And knowing Koizumi s/he would never complain to anything Suzumiya says.]

"Isn’t it an awesome idea, Mitsuuru-kun?"

Faced with Haruki’s sudden question, Asahina-senpai seemed confused, "Huh? But... But..."

"Well?" Like a crocodile ambushing a little deer drinking water at the lake, Haruki moved behind Asahina-senpai, who was about to stand up, and grabbed him by the shoulder, perhaps a little too firmly.

[D-note: Grabbing Mitsuuru by the neck seemed a little too violent, even if it was supposed to be from behind, I can't shake off the image of Mitsuuru getting strangled. Possibly a bias on my part that is causing this image from appearing in my mind, but in the meantime, I'll go with the 'less' violent, 'firm grip on the shoulder.']

"Kyaa! Ge... Get off of me!"

"Listen up, Mitsuuru-kun! In this brigade, the orders of the commander are absolute. Insubordination is a serious offense, punishable by hanging! All opinions will be handled during the meeting!"

Meeting? Does he mean those meetings which he holds whenever he feels like stuffing weird ideas down our throats?

Haruki continued talking as Asahina-senpai struggled against his python-like grip. "Doesn't baseball sound like so much fun? Just so you all know, our goal is to win this tournament! Not a single defeat will be accepted! Not one! Because. I. Hate. Losing!"

"Wah..." Asahina-senpai squealed as Haruki rubbed his knuckles into Asahina-senpai’s head.

"So, any problems?" asked Haruki. Like it would matter if we had any. You never intend to listen to them anyway.

"I don't see why not." said Itsuko, her teeth a perfect white.

Hey! Don’t just agree like that! How about objecting every once in a while?

"Excellent! Then I'll go skillfully ‘acquire’ equipment from the Baseball Team!"

Haruki bolted out of the clubroom with the force of a small tornado. Asahina-senpai, finally free of Haruki's grasp, slumped onto the floor, exhausted.

Itsuko decided to express her thoughts. "Well, we're lucky that he's not starting a war to capture aliens or planning a trip in search of Unidentified Mysterious Animals. Baseball has nothing to do with the terrifying paranormal phenomena which we fear most, right?"

"Yeah, makes sense." I've decided to agree with her reasoning for now. No matter how insane Haruki is, at least he didn't ask to go searching for aliens, time travelers and espers. If that was the case, instead of wandering around the city searching for supernatural occurrences, a task that was nearly impossible (this, by the way, happened to be the main activity of the SOS Brigade), we might as well play a game of baseball. Besides, even poor Asahina-senpai was nodding his head in agreement.

However, our speculations were wide off the mark. Not only did they miss their target, the arrows fired by Haruki had shot through the ceiling and flown straight off into the sun. I only learned of this a little later, though.

At any rate, (I thought to myself), even if it's not baseball, anything that could attract attention would do for him. The SOS Brigade, which Haruki continued to carry the banner for, not only has an incredibly stupid name, it's not even a real club, not to mention it's not recognized by the school. It was only created because he felt like it.

The official name, "Save the world by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade," is not only long and condescending, it just sounds abstractly absurd. After my suggestion to shorten the name got cruelly rejected, I hadn't been able to find a chance to change its name.

I once asked Haruki just what kind of activities this club would be involved in. Haruki replied with the face of a soldier who had just cut off the head of the enemy general:

"To find aliens, time travelers, and espers, and hang out with them!"

This was the famous quote by the eccentric Suzumiya Haruki, well-known around school since the beginning of the year, and has been associated with sheer weirdness ever since.
This was just like crows searching for glowing objects, cats leaping at any small rolling object, and a housewife rushing for the insecticide when she sees a cockroach in the kitchen. Once Haruki sees something that interests him, be it dodgeball, netball or cricket, he'd probably yell loudly, "I want to do that!" Maybe I should be grateful we aren't playing rugby, since we would need to find more people to make up the numbers.

In any case, to put it simply...

Haruki was just feeling bored.

I had no idea what Haruki had been doing, but when he returned he was completely empty-handed.

“Um, what happened to the baseball equipment?” I asked.

Haruki chuckled awkwardly. “Well, let's not talk about that now... the match is coming up, so we had better practice! Practice!”

Don't we need equipment to do that, Haruki? "And when is this match?"

"This Sunday."

"That's the day after tomorrow!! Isn't that way too soon!?"

"Eh, I already registered. Oh, but don't worry, I’ve already thought up of our team name, 'The SOS Brigade'."

This idiot... "...So where are you going to find the other team members?"

"We'll just grab anyone who looks like they need something to do."

...Are you serious?

With one exception, anyone targeted by Haruki never turns out to be normal. That rare exception would be me, and I had no intention on getting acquainted with even more mysterious people.

"Look, just... you stay put.” I said. “I'll take care of choosing the team. First..."

I thought of the guys in Class 1-5... and realized the only one I ever talked to was Haruki. Putting aside this depressing thought, I thought of the other girls... The only ones who would do me a favor like this... That'd be Taniguchi and Kunikida, I guess.

Hearing my suggestion, Haruki replied with, "Those'll do."

He seems to treat his classmates as mere objects.

"It's better than none."

Anyone else would probably flee at the mention of Suzumiya Haruki's name. Now, where to find the other two players?

"Excuse me," Asahina-senpai politely raised his arm and said, "If it's possible for my friend..."

"Bring him." Haruki responded immediately. Looks like anyone was fine.

Maybe for you it doesn't matter who it is, but I was concerned. Asahina-senpai's friend? When and where did he make this friend?

Asahina-senpai must have noticed my concerned look, because he said "It's fine. This person...is a friend I've met in class."

At this moment, Itsuko spoke up as well. "In that case, maybe I should bring a friend too? Actually, I know someone who's interested in our club..."

I shut her up before she could finish. There's no need to bring your girlfriends over, they're going to be total freaks anyway.

"I'll think of someone." If there was no selection criteria, then there is someone I know who would be very interested in playing baseball with us.

Haruki nodded his head as he looked out the window, pleased. "Then let us begin our training! We start now!"

“Haruki, I already said this. We need equipment to play baseball, equipment that we don't have!” I waved around the flyer. “Besides, this is a softball tournament. Even if you could find baseball equipment, it'd be useless!”

“Which is exactly why I have formulated my new plan.”

“What plan?”

In answer, Haruki pointed out the window at the track field.

Do your best! The sound of the Girl's Softball Team yelling their slogan could be heard outside the window.

----

I know it's awkward to suddenly change the subject like this, (I'm sorry) but I have to let you know. Besides myself, the other four people gathered here in this room, for several reasons, are not normal in any sense of the word. The only person who isn't aware of this... is Haruki.

The other three have all willingly revealed their identities to me, and, apparently, 'hope that I would understand'. If I hadn’t come to an understanding, then the three of them would have been as incomprehensible as objects revolving beyond the orbit of Pluto. However, since the end of last month, I've gone through... certain experiences that have led me to believe that they might be telling the truth. I didn't want to know the truth, but ever since I was forced into Haruki's stupid club, I don't think that small wish of mine has ever been granted.

And sadly, the reason Asahina-senpai, Nagato, and Itsuko attended this school was all because of Haruki, whom they all seem to hold a particular interest in.

To me, he was just a hyperactive idiot with too much time on his hands, but I was the only one in the club who thought that way.

But I can guarantee that it wasn't me that was going crazy.

It was the whole world that was going crazy.

----

Thanks to the events I mentioned above, I was now standing in the dusty track field with the other out-of-this-world members of the brigade.

We were currently facing the Softball Team, who looked stunned at the sudden arrival of a mysterious club, all of us dressed in normal school uniforms, with the exception of one butler. I’m sure it was very strange for all of them.

Not to mention the tall boy who appeared to be the leader of the club had started yelling at them.

“...And that's the story! So, let us use your equipment and the field!” yelled Haruki.

“Um...” The captain of the Softball Team raised her hand. “You didn't tell us any 'story'. You just walked over here and said that.”

“Exactly!” exclaimed Haruki, whose voice was so loud that it could rouse the dead. “So, I propose a trade!”

He grabbed Asahina-senpai and shoved him in front of the softball team captain.

“One, high-quality butler for your softball equipment! Sure, he still needs a bit of house training, but soon he'll be accustomed to all your needs, ''whatever'' they may be!”

The softball team just stared at us in sheer disbelief. As I bore their pitiful gazes, I recognized one as a former classmate of mine. Great, now my reputation is going to be even more ruined.

I walked up to Haruki and touched his arm.

“Hmm? What is it? Can't you see I'm trying to conduct a business transaction here?”

I averted my gaze. “Please, just... let me deal with this... So stop, okay...?”

“H-huh?” Haruki sounded a bit shocked as he let go of Asahina-senpai. “Well, I guess if you think you have something better to offer than this, then go ahead, but...”

Ignoring him, I went up to my old classmate.

“Please,” I said. “Can I talk to you alone about this?”

Two minutes later, behind the storage shed...

“What's up, Kyon-chan?”

Please stop calling me that.

“I mean I knew you were weird, but I never thought I'd see you hanging out with Suzumiya Haruki...”

...Exactly how far has his notoriety reached? “Look, can you guys just play along and let us practice? He signed us up for a tournament the day after tomorrow and we're totally unprepared... He won't listen to me, and there's nothing we can do to stop him, so please, please, ''please'' let us use the track field and your equipment to practice...”

My former classmate looked thoughtful. “I dunno... it’s not that big of a deal, but we do have a game next week, so we have to get ready, and I don't even know if the captain would listen to me...”

Fortunately, I have a secret weapon. “If you let us do this, I can personally promise you that Haruki will never come near any of the members of the softball team ever again.”

----

Another two minutes later...

“I got us what you wanted.”

“Wow! That was fast! I wonder what kind of methods you had to use…”

“...” I kicked Haruki in the shin.

And so our rigorous training for a baseball tournament we never wanted to enter began.

"Let's start with a thousand hits!"

Haruki then proceeded to toss up a pile of baseballs and smash each one at the rest of the SOS brigade, who had been forced to stand in a line at the pitcher mound with only a mitt like a trio of prisoners to be executed by firing squad.

"Gaah!" Asahina-senpai immediately cried out, dropping to his knees and covering his head with his glove. Looking at his cowering form, I had no choice but to try and protect him. And each of Haruki's strikes had a killing instinct in them, so catching them became a matter of life-and-death. No matter what he does, he always goes all out.

Itsuko was wearing her usual grin. "Hmm, I haven't played like this since I was little. Makes me feel so nostalgic..." She casually dodged Haruki's wild pitches, flashing me a perfect, snow white smile.

If you have so much energy, why don't help me protect Asahina-senpai!?

I turned to Nagato and saw him standing very still, facing Haruki. He just stood there, completely ignoring the balls flying in his direction, not moving even when the ball grazed past his ear by a few centimeters. Occasionally, he would slowly move his gloved left hand, like a remote-controlled robot, and catch the balls aimed directly at him, then slowly put his hand down again.

Um, Nagato-san? Maybe you ought to move around a bit more... or should I be complimenting you on your good eyes instead?

Or maybe I shouldn't be paying attention to other people, as a ball skipped past my glove and under my legs, and hit Asahina-senpai in the knees. Crap, that was careless of me.

"Oww!" Asahina-senpai the butler yelled, "It hurts......"

He started to sob. I can't just stand by and let this happen.

"I'll be counting on you two!" After saying that to Itsuko and Nagato, I shielded poor Asahina-senpai and brought him out of the line of fire.

Haruki's complaints sailed across the diamond. "Oi! Where're you two going? Kyon! Mitsuuru-kun! Get back here!"

"He needs medical treatment!"

“The hell?! Those are ''soft''balls! How do you expect him to turn into a manly man if you're always babying him!?”

He has a point, but Asahina-senpai does seem to be in real pain. I raised my hand in farewell and ignored Haruki's protests.

“Hey, I'm not done yet! Bring him back here! It’s all a part of the secret formula to winning, which is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, and fifty percent pain! Did you hear that? FIFTY PERCENT PAIN!”

Pretending I didn't hear Haruki's strange outbursts, I brought Asahina-senpai to the nurse's office.

----

Asahina-senpai covered his eyes with his hands, rubbing off his tears as he walked shoulder to shoulder with me on the corridor. It was only then that he realized that he was leaning on me.

"Waaaagh!" He shrieked in shock, and leapt away while looking at me with slightly reddened cheeks.

"Kyon-nee-chan, you can't,” he said. “If you get too close to me... It'll happen again..."

He's said something like this before, but I have no idea what he's talking about.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Asahina-senpai, you can go home now. I'll tell Haruki that the injury on your leg will take a couple days to heal."

"But... there's no way he's going to believe that..."

I shook my hand. "Don't worry. It’s his fault anyways."

Asahina-senpai lowered his head and glanced at me, his eyes still teary. Aggh, is he really a high school student? He’s too cute...

"Thanks, Kyon-nee-chan." After Asahina-senpai gave me a smile so adorable I practically died, he turned his back to me as though feeling ashamed, and walked away.

----

When I returned to the field, the batting practice was still in progress. What surprised me was that the members of the Softball Team were now in defense, while Itsuko and Nagato watched outside the field.

When Itsuko saw me, she smiled happily. "Oh, you've returned?"

"What's he up to now?" I asked.

"As you can see, it seems he wasn't satisfied with our performance. He's been like that since you left."

He was simply incredible. Every ball he hit flew to the direction that he had intended.

The three of us had nothing to do apart from observing Haruki's astounding swing. Eventually, that mentally insane idiot finally put down his bat and wiped his sweat while looking as satisfied as a Cheshire cat.

"He's really amazing. He actually managed to get a thousand hits." said Itsuko cheerfully.

"What's really amazing is that you actually bothered to count."

"......" Nagato turned away silently. I decided to follow suit.

"Um, hey," I suggested to the willowy student in front of me. "Could you make it rain on the day of the match? A big storm, one that would force the match to be canceled..."

"It is not impossible." Nagato answered plainly, while continuing to walk, "But it is not recommended."

"Why's that?"

"Partial data alteration of the environment would result in side-effects in the planet's ecosystem."

"Side-effects? For how long?"

"A few centuries to ten thousand years."

Now that's a long time. "Then it's better not to do it, right?"

"Indeed." Nagato nodded his head forward about five centimeters, then continued to walk forward without stopping.

I turned around and saw Haruki standing on the pitcher's mound, preparing to pitch.

----

Two days later. Sunday. 8.00 A.M. Sharp. (Be there, or it's the ''death penalty''!)

We were gathered at the Municipal Sports Center, where there were two baseball fields adjacent to the athletic track field. The tournament would be a series of five-inning games, and would take two weeks to complete. The semi-finalists were to be decided by tonight, with the semi-finals and final being played next Sunday. Only our team was dressed in something besides the standard baseball uniform; instead, we were standing out in our school track suits. And this is a bit off-topic, but this was the first time I've seen Nagato wear something else besides his school uniform.)

I keed, I keed, I’m just trolling.

Also there is no translation error, a five-inning a game means there are five switches between offense and defense, rather than say a nine-inning game where there would be nine switches. So when it says “two weeks” it means the tournament in total would take two weeks.]

I later learned that this grasslot softball tournament had quite some history behind it, as this was the ninth installment, and it looked like a pretty prestigious tournament. Because of this, I really wished the organizers would reject Haruki's application when he handed it in.

Oh, and I guess this is worth mentioning, too. After giving Taniguchi and Kunikida a call, the two of them agreed to come right away. Taniguchi was only interested in seeing Nagato and Asahina, while Kunikida said, 'This sounds like fun' and decided to come as well. I'm really glad that they're both so simple-minded. It's so nice to have friends you can count on.

The person Asahina-senpai brought to help was a male upperclassman called Tsuruya. He was nearly as tall as Haruki, and was wearing a huge grin. He also seemed to be a cheerful and energetic person because when he saw me he clapped me on the shoulder and said,

"So you're Kyon-chan, eh? Mitsuuru's always talking about you. Hmm..."

He studied me from top to bottom before nodding approvingly...

For some reason, Asahina-senpai flushed and looked away nervously at his friend's comment. Um, Asahina-senpai, just what did you say about me?

At this moment, the last player that I brought was now facing off with Haruki.

Haruki stared for a moment before marching towards me. "Kyon, come over here. We need to talk." Haruki took me by the arm towards the side of the organizer's tent.

"Exactly what were you on? Look at that thing, you're actually going to let him play softball?"

What do you mean 'that thing?' Isn't that a bit rude, Haruki? He may be 'a thing,' (and very annoying) but he's still my brother.

"He even came up to me and introduced himself, saying how he's the best in fifth grade at sports and how he's here to “kick ass and chew bubble gum”. He's way too cool to be your little brother. Wait, no, that's not my point. Look, it would have been fine if he were playing in the Little League, but this is a softball tournament for the big kids!"

I didn't just bring my brother without thinking, you know. This was all part of my master plan.

I had thought, 'Why on Earth do I want to get up on Sunday morning just to do some exercise?'

I never volunteered for this, but it was inevitable that things have developed to their current state. If that was going to be the case, it was only natural for me to at least want this tournament, which I have no interest in, to be over as quickly as possible. It would be perfect if we lost quickly so everyone can go home and go back to sleep. Even without my brother, (who, by the way, is the worst in his class in gym) with such a rag-tag group, we'll definitely lose our first game.

However, the leader of this team is none other than the Incredible Suzumiya Haruki. If we accidentally won, it would create a chain of ever more troublesome events, and this was why I had to inject a factor that would ensure our loss. If I brought some amateur little kid in, there's no way in hell we'd win.

Of course, I couldn't let Haruki know about my plan.

"Eh, forget it." Haruki grunted and turned around. "We'll let them win one inning. It won't be fun if we win too much."

I really have no idea where he gets this confidence.

"We still haven't decided on the fielding positions and batting order yet.” I said, “What do you have in mind?"

"I've already thought of that." Haruki's face glowed with his usual smug grin, as he took out a piece of paper from his track suit pocket. As he left till today to decide on the positions, I have no idea what criteria he's going to use to decide who plays where.

"I decided to use this. No one's gonna disagree, right?"

There were two pieces of paper. Each piece was criss-crossed with eight lines. Am I seeing things? It looks like one of those ladder-tracing lottery games...

"You're surprised? Of course it's a lottery. I split the lottery into two, one for batting and one for fielding positions. I'm the pitcher and first batter, by the way."

"So you've decided on this method instead?"

"Eh, what's with that look of yours? You got a problem? This is the most democratic way. Ancient Greek leaders were chosen by ladder-tracing as well, ya know."

Stop comparing the political system of Ancient Greece with the selection method of a modern Japanese baseball team, Haruki. Besides, you only decided this on a whim. Just how is that democratic, exactly?

...Forget it. This way, we could lose quickly. According to the tournament rules, the game would end if the score difference between the teams was more than ten runs, and I think I should start preparing to head home now, since our first opponent was a top team with the best defense in the tournament for the past three years.

The Kamigahara Ninjas.

Let me announce the batting a fielding positions of "Suzumiya Haruki's SOS Brigade Baseball Team (Of Legends)", decided entirely by the God of Lottery, that is to say, by chance.

First batter, second baseman: Me. Second batter, center fielder: Nagato Yuuki. Third batter, right fielder: Asahina Mitsuuru. Fourth batter, pitcher: Suzumiya Haruki. Fifth batter, left fielder: My brother. Sixth batter, catcher: Koizumi Itsuko. Seventh batter, first baseman: Kunikida. Eighth batter, third baseman: Tsuruya-san. Ninth batter, shortstop: Taniguchi.

Why am I up first!?

That's the line-up of our team. No substitutes, no managers. Not even any cheereleaders.

Man, what a sad baseball team.

----

After both the teams had paid their respects to one another, Haruki grinned at me and jerked his head towards the batter's box. Regretfully, I had to comply with his 'order'. Since we had completely forgotton the existance of helmets, we had to borrow some second-hand white helmets from the Organizing Committee. If there was anything that ''truly'' belonged to us, it would have to be the nine obnoxiously yellow loudspeakers that Haruhi had obtained.

The opposing pitcher, a tall girl with blonde hair, smiled at me in a way that chillingly reminded me Haruki. I just gritted my teeth and waiting, bat raised.

When the umpire yelled, "Play Ball!", the girl stretched her arm back and hurled the ball straight at me.

I didn't swing. So that made it a strike.

...that was ''scary''. That ball was ''fast''. It sliced through the air, making a high-pitched whizzing noise - I had no idea what speed it was really travelling at, but it moved way faster than I could blink. In fact, the second it left the pitcher's hand, it seemed to me that it had already landed in the catcher's glove.

What in the name of- this is baseball? I knew we were never going to win, but this is - this is just insane!

The second pitch. The ball curved. I guess this is a 'curveball'? If I had ignored it, it would have been a what-do-you-call-it, a 'ball', but my instinct went off and I took a swipe at it.

So you can guess how things went from here. I didn't unlock any eleventh-hour superpowers, so I was declared 'out'. As I passed Haruki as I stamped back towards the bench, he gave me a thumbs up in congratulations for my failure.

"Good job out there, Kyon! Don't worry about it, baseball isn't a girl's sport anyway. Leave it to us men," he said, puffing out his chest like a jiggabird, "''we'll'' show you how it's done."

I kicked him in the shin again.

The second batter up was Nagato, who walked silently to the batter's box, dragging the tip of the aluminum bat on the ground. Back on the bench, my little brother slid over towards me with his usual evil grin. Why does everyone keep making that face at me today?

“Hey, hey, Kyon-chan. That guy who's up to bat, wasn't he the guy who walked you home once? Isn't he your boyfmmph!”

Damnit! Not in front of Haruki, or anything could happen! I'll buy you a month's supply of sweet sugary treats if you just shut your trap, so please, please, ''please'' be quiet!

Back at home base...

"..."

Nagato simply ignored all the balls being pitched his way, and was therefore struck out near-instantly. He silently returned to the bench, took off his helmet and handed the bat to the next batter – Asahina-senpai.

Haruki looked absolutely dumbfounded. “Yuuki, what was... what was that!? You call that batting!? You're supposed to hit the ball!”

"..."

“Look, just... nevermind. Mitsuuru-kun!” Haruki yelled, throwing one of his arms around Asahina-senpai, who squealed.

“Gyaa! Don't hurt me!”

“Listen up, Mitsuuru-kun. You're our only hope. The only person we can rely on.” Haruki pronounced, quite seriously.

“S, Suzumiya-san, I really don't...”

“You understand? This is something that ''only you can do''.”

And so, our third batter, Asahina-senpai, wearing a wide helmet that barely fit his small head, walked hesitantly towards the batter's box.

"M-may the best wi...... Gyaa!"

Before he could finish, a high angled straight ball came shooting his way... straight into his gut. Asahina-senpai immediately doubled over in pain, as the pitcher began to apologise profusely - "Whoops, my bad. Man, are you okay?". I could see she didn't mean it though, a slight smirk just visible on her face. That bitch! How dare she hurt Asahina-Senpai! Maybe I should figure out Haruki's policy on hitting girls...

“Suck it up, Mitsuuru-kun!”

....though he doesn't appear to care at all.

The umpire ruled it a foul, but after he stood up, Asahina-senpai just stood as stiff and as still as a Buddha statute, and only trembled silently as all three pitches flew past him. When the umpire announced that he had struck out, he breathed a sigh of relief and returned to the bench.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Mitsuuru-kun. You were our only hope." Haruki grumbled, as Asahina-senpai plopped down. Haruki's complaints are nothing, though; what's important was that Asahina-san was safe.

And so it ended with three consecutive strike outs, and both sides had to switch positions.

Not even a single hit. This was so embarrassing.

----

To be brutally honest with you, our defense had more holes than you would find in a tropical savanna ant hill. The outfield defense was especially ridiculous. As I learned in our pre-match warm-up, neither our right-fielder Asahina-senpai nor our right fielder my lying brother can actually catch a ball. So when the ball flew to the right side of the field, it had to be retrieved by me, the second baseman; when it flew to the left field, Taniguchi the short stop would have to run for her life to retrieve the ball.

Whenever Asahina-senpai sees the ball flying towards him, he'd collapse, curl up on the ground and start muttering something about “high hopes”, so we can't expect him to do any actual defending. As for my brother, he'd certainly chase after the ball energetically, but the ball would always land three feet away from where he was standing, so he isn't of much help either.

Nagato the center fielder was flawless when catching the ball, but he only reacted to the ones that that flew within his immediate range, and his reaction time was just dead slow. If a line drive rocketed straight past him, our opponent might as well have scored a run already.

God, our team sucks. Might as well hurry up and lose so we can go home already. That wouldn't be too bad, actually.

"C'mon! Bring it on, women!" Haruki, the only one with any enthusiasm, walked enthusiastically towards the pitcher's mound. (The gloves, shin guards and chest protector for our catcher Itsuko were, of course, all borrowed.)

Our opponent's first batter bowed to the organizers, then headed to the batter's box.

Haruki wound up his arm in an exaggerated fashion, slung his arm, and made his first pitch.

''Strike''.

It was a really good pitch, I'm not sure why, perhaps the angle, speed or control of the ball. Either way, the ball landed right in the center of the strike zone, with so much power behind it that the batter didn't even have a chance to swing his bat.

Of course, the SOS Brigade members, myself included, weren't surprised by this at all. If this guy were to be suddenly called up to join the Japanese National Soccer Team, I'd think we wouldn't be too suprised about it. There's nothing that's impossible for Haruki - sportswise, anyway.

It wasn't easy for the opponent's first batter. She couldn't swing her bat for two consecutive strikes, and only managed to react for the third pitch, but still struck out. The third pitch seemed like one of those change up balls that curves slightly when entering the strike zone, as unpredictable as Haruki's personality.

The second batter listened to the suggestions of the first batter (who, as I said, never managed a hit), and tried to bunt. Yet she hit the ball outside the foul line twice and missed the third pitch, so she, too, struck out.

“Hahaha! You see?” Haruki shouted happily over towards second base. “These wenches stand no chance against the might of Suzumiya!”

Seeing how the situation was beginning to change, I was beginning to feel uneasy. Both teams weren't going to drag on like this till the last inning, were they? Also, it looks like Haruki's incredibly sexist comments are beginning to get to them... they were certainly getting to me.

So, as expected from their clean-up, the third batter managed to make a direct hit on Haruki's powerful fastball. If you keep pitching fastballs, Haruki, it's only a matter of time before one gets hit...

The ball hurtled past Nagato's head, who remained rooted to the ground there, and disappeared into the distance. With the look of Agamemnon who had just been betrayed by his wife, Haruki glared furiously at the third batter who had just hit a home run.

Anyway, as a result, we were now one run behind.

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| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Prologue|Prologue]]
| Forward to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3_Bamboo_Leaf_Rhapsody|Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody]]
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Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume3 Prologue

2009-06-13T17:28:35Z

Heatth: New page: I’d like to say the club started because of the Melancholy of Haruki Suzumiya, but really it was probably because of my own. The SOS Brigade was established in early spring and our litt...

I’d like to say the club started because of the Melancholy of Haruki Suzumiya, but really it was probably because of my own.

The SOS Brigade was established in early spring and our little film experiment happened during fall. (It was an extremely stressful project for me, but Haruki seemed to have the time of his life.)

That’s six months from our conception to the movie and Haruki could not and did not let time pass by pointlessly. Not surprisingly, that time was filled with strange, illogical and impossible happenings. I still don't know if they were real, or just complicated accidents. For simplicity's sake, let's just say that we were pulled into everything against our will.

No matter what anyone says, seasons come and seasons go. As the average temperature rises, inconceivable, out-of-this-world ideas spring from Haruki's mind, similar to how different kinds of insects appear out of nowhere. It would be all right if he kept those ideas inside his head, where they couldn't hurt anybody, but no, those ideas always result in a huge variety of creepy situations that the rest of us are forced to deal with.

I don't know what Itsuko, Nagato, or Asahina-senpai think about all this, but here is what my self-analysis tells me, at the least. My mind and body are healthy, but every time something happens, I feel as if I'm some sort of tiny little round animal that can't move easily because I ate too much. The same thing always happens, and that is myself rolling on and on down a hill.

Perhaps I have already started rolling...?

Because, you see, Haruki has a very annoying habit: whenever his mind isn't filled with happy thoughts, he starts thinking up ideas that make you want to laugh and cry at the same time. For some reason, he can't possibly endure sitting still and doing nothing. So whenever he has nothing to do, he will go and find something to do. No matter how absurd.

Judging by my experience, as soon as Haruki says something, the rest of us will not be able to enjoy a single second of peace and quiet. Perhaps those good old days of peace and quiet will never come back.

Aggh! What a troublesome idiot! It doesn't matter if the end result is good or bad, as long as his life isn't boring. Well, that's Suzumiya Haruki for you.

Because this is such a rare opportunity, let me share with you how our SOS Brigade fought back boredom during the half a year when our melancholy became frustration. As to why I said this is a 'rare opportunity', I actually don't know. I just think that it wouldn't hurt if I shared my experiences. And, anyway, I really do hope that at least one person will share my indescribable feelings.

Alright... Let's start with that stupid baseball game...

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| Forward to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume3__The_Boredom_of_Suzumiya_Haruhi|The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruki]]
|-
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</noinclude>

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Epilogue

2009-06-13T17:25:17Z

Heatth:

Let me tell you what happened afterwards.

On my way to the bathroom during lunch break, I met Itsuko in the corridor.

"I really should thank you from the bottom of my heart." She said, greeting me with a smile, "This world has remained unchanged, and Suzumiya-san is here as usual. I’ll have to continue my work now, but don’t think I'm not ungrateful, it’s all thanks to you that we’re all still here.”

Damn right.

“Of course, it's still possible that this world was only created last night! In any case, it’s an honor to have known you and Suzumiya-san. I hope to get to learn more about you," Itsuko said, before taking off, waving her hand at me. "See you after school!"

I went to the Literature Club room during lunch break and there sat Nagato reading his book as usual.

He looked up at me. "For two and a half hours this morning, you and Suzumiya Haruki had disappeared from this world."

He opened his mouth and said this, and only this. Then he lowered his head and continued reading.

"I'm reading the book you lent me now.” I said “I should be able to return it to you in a week."

"I see." He responded, not looking up.

"Can you tell me if there are many others like you on this planet?"

"A lot."

"Does that mean there'll be those who might attack me like Asakura did?"

Nagato now lifted his head and looked directly at me. "I won't let them."

I decided not to mention the library.

----

After school in the club room, I met Asahina-senpai, who was wearing his uniform for once instead of his maid outfit. When he saw me, he practically threw himself at me in tears.

"I'm so glad, I can still see you..." Asahina-senpai cried with his face buried in my shoulder. "I thought you'd never...(sniff)....return to this (sniff) world..."

Perhaps he just realized he was embracing me, because Asahina-senpai suddenly released me at once.

"N-no, I can't! If Suzumiya-san sees this, the same thing will happen again!"

"I don't really get what you're saying, Asahina-senpai..."

Looking at the teary-eyed, adorable little Asahina-senpai, I tried to calm him down. "Why aren't you wearing your maid costume today?"

"It's being washed."

At this point, I suddenly remembered something, and pointed towards my heart. "Oh yeah, Asahina-senpai, you've got a star-shaped birthmark around here on your chest."

Wiping the tears away from his eyes, Asahina-senpai looked confused. He then loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt to take a look inside it.

"E-eh, that's weird... I never noticed it myself... H-hey! How did you find out!?" Asahina-senpai blushed furiously. Cute as always.

Your future self told me about it. I wonder if I should tell Asahina-senpai the truth?

Suddenly, I heard someone near the door clearing their throat. It was Haruki, who stood there with an evil grin.

“Having fun, Mitsuuru-kun?” He said, as he lifted the paper bag he was carrying. “Congratulations!” Haruki hummed a tune that sounded like it came from an old RPG. “You've gained a level in manliness! Come! Time to change!"

Haruki moved as swiftly as a martial arts master and grabbed Asahina-senpai, who was too surprised to move.

"N...nooooo~~!" Poor Asahina-senpai screamed endlessly as Haruki forcefully pulled off his uniform.

"Stop moving! Resistance is futile! This time it's a butler uniform! Aren't you glad you don't have to cross-dress anymore?”

"A...at least lock the door!"

Of course, I went outside, shutting the door.
Although I feel sorry for Asahina-san, I'm really looking forward to what I'll see when the door opens. I wonder how cute he'll be as a butler...

Ah yes, and Nagato was there as well, sitting in the corner as usual, quietly reading his book.

----

This time, I finally handed the SOS Brigade application form to the Student Council. If I didn't bribe the Student Council, there was no way they'd ever allow a club like the "Save the World by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" to exist.

That's why I changed the name slightly to the "Supporting the Student Council in Organizing the School Brigade" (abbreviated as the SOS Brigade), and I altered the club's activities summary to "providing all sorts of consultation services to any problems people may encounter at school, and to actively participate in local community services".

I don't know what that really means, but I guess it'll be OK as long as it makes sense grammatically. After that I'll just make some posters about those annoying consultations and stick them on the board. I have a feeling we won’t get any cases that Haruki would deem as “something interesting”.

On the other hand, Haruki's "Search for Mysterious Events" in the town continued under his command for the second memorable time today. According to precedent, today's activities should have involved wasting a whole weekend wandering around aimlessly, but today Asahina-senpai, Nagato, and even Itsuko all said they couldn't come as they had something important to do, so I ended up waiting all alone for Haruhi at the station ticket turnstiles.

I don't know what those three were up to, or whether they genuinely had something important. But since they aren't normal humans in the first place, it's not surprising that they would need to handle some very important matters in some place I'd never heard of.
I looked at my watch. There were still thirty minutes before the meeting time. I had stood here for thirty minutes already; in other words, I arrived an hour early. I did this not because I looked forward to today's activity, but because the SOS Brigade had an unwritten rule that whoever arrives last, whether they're late or not, has to pay a fine.

Besides, there's only two people involved in today's activity.

I lifted my head and saw a familiar figure, casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He probably never expected me to arrive so early, and stood stunned on the spot. He then grumpily raised a hand in greeting and walked towards me. I didn't know whether his frown had to do with today's low attendance rate, or the fact that I arrived earlier than he did. I'll just have to ask him when we get to the cafe. Of course, Haruki will be the one paying.

By then, I'll have many things I want to talk to him about, like where the SOS Brigade is going from now on, Asahina-senpai's costumes, trying to have him talk to his classmates for once, and asking him what he thinks of Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic techniques.

However, I need a good topic before I can start a real conversation with him.

Ah, I've already decided what to say. That's right, I've decided...

...To talk about aliens, time travelers, and espers.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan|Main Page]]
| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter7|Chapter 7]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume2 Prologue

2009-06-13T17:24:41Z

Heatth:

Haruki seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't let anything bother him. But he is. The only thing that bothers him is that "this world is too damn ordinary!"

To him, the "extraordinary things" are supernatural phenomena of any kind, meaning that he often thinks weird things like "I can't believe I can't even find half a ghost anywhere!"

I should also let you know that the word "ghost" can be replaced with "alien", "time traveler", or "esper." However, it's common knowledge that things like that only appear in fiction. They simply don't exist in reality. Which means as long as Haruki continues to live in this world, he will continue to be bothered by this fact. The world is supposed to be like this; absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

However, recent events in my life have made it very hard for me to believe these things I normally insist upon; in other words, I'm also bothered.

Because I know that aliens, time travelers, and espers do exist.

----

The following is a dialogue between Haruki and myself:

"Haruki, listen to me for once. I need to tell you something very important."

"What?"

"You've always wanted aliens, time travelers and espers to exist, right?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"And the purpose of our SOS Brigade is to find those kind of people, right?"

"Yeah, but remember, it's not enough just to find them, we have to be able to hang out together too. I wanna play the main role, not just sit on the sidelines like a good little boy."

"That's pretty much the exact opposite of what I want... sigh, whatever. Anyway, have you ever thought that those aliens, time travelers, and espers might actually be surprisingly close?"

"‘Surprisingly close?’ You’re not talking about Yuuki, Mitsuuru-kun, or Koizumi-san, are you? Because if you were, it wouldn’t be much of a ‘surprise’ then."

"Um, well... actually, I did mean to tell you that it was them all along."

"What are you, stupid or something? It can't be that easy."

"Yeah, that would be too simple by normal standards."

"Then tell me, who's the alien?"

"You probably already guessed. Nagato Yuuki is the alien. Um, how did it go again? He’s part of the… Integrated something entity... or Data something entity... something like that. Basically, he was created by aliens and given a body."

"Hmm... and what about Mitsuuru-kun?"

"He’s from the far-off future, a time-traveler."

"Then how many years into the future is he from?"

"Well, he didn't tell me that."

"Oh. I see."

"Really? You do?"

"So that means Koizumi-san is an esper?"

"Yeah, yeah! That's right!"

"Ah." Haruki's eyebrows were twitching as he spoke. He slowly stood up and then, in one quick movement, slammed his palms down on the table:

"Don't. Mess. With. Me!"

Just like that, Haruki completely discarded the truth that I had put so much effort into getting out. Oh well, I had expected this of him. Even after the three of them showed me that they were indeed an alien, a time traveler, and an esper, I still had trouble believing them. So considering that he hadn't seen what I had seen, making Haruki believe what I said was almost impossible.

What could I say, though? I’m a credible-looking person, right? And I’m only trying to tell the truth! People should believe the stuff I say!

Although, Haruki wasn't at fault here. If a nice girl came up to me and said "This person you know is actually someone unbelievable..." I'd probably also lose my temper and start yelling. If that girl said that kind of stuff to me with a straight face, I would probably think that her brain had been infected by some virus, or been addled by deadly neurotoxin. Perhaps I'd even feel sorry for her, but in any case, I don't think I would continue to talk to that girl.

Hey, right now, isn't "that girl" me?

"Listen up, Kyon, and listen carefully." Haruki stared at me with fire in his eyes, his face three inches away from mine. "It doesn't matter whether it's an alien, a time traveler, or a esper, they're not going to casually appear in front of us just like that! Do you know how precious they are? If we find them, we have to grab them by the neck, tie them up, and hang them up so they can't escape! The people that I randomly grabbed off the streets to join our club can't possibly be that rare and precious!"

Wow, Haruki actually made sense for once. Ironically enough though, they really are supernatural. In fact, I'm the only normal human in the club.

Sigh, why does this moron only have common sense when it comes to strange topics? If he'd only believe me, everything would be much simpler. At least this bogus “SOS Brigade” could disband, since it was formed for the sole purpose of finding aliens et al for Haruki. Once he finds those things, there wouldn't be any point in keeping the club around. After that, he can play with those unnatural beings all he likes, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll stay backstage and catch a few laughs.

I really hope this happens soon, because, right now, I feel like an animal trapped in a circus...

Though, if Haruki had any clue what was really going on, I don't know what the world would be like.

Oh, right. I should let you know when this dialogue took place. It happened during our second "SOS Brigade Wandering Around In The City (Temporary Name)” club event, when I talked with Haruki inside the restaurant by the station. It was my only opportunity to tell him about all the unbelievable things happening around him and he didn't take me seriously at all, but I'm fine with that. Whoever believes in that stuff so readily need to have their brain examined anyway.

I didn't bother to tell him the specifics, since too many details about something like this would only make him suspicious. Besides, I didn't understand most of the unclear explanations I heard in Nagato's apartment anyway.

"I just don't ever want to hear lame jokes like this again, okay?" Haruki drained his coke in one gulp. “Anyway, let's go! We can't separate into two groups today, so let's just wander around!”

I can't imagine where Haruki will drag me today, nor do I want to.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to bring my wallet today, so could you pay? Really? Thanks!" Completely ignoring my sputters of protest, Haruki shoved the bill towards me. “I’ll pay you back!”

No, you won’t.

While I was still staring at the eight hundred and thirty yen bill, thinking about how to protest this latest atrocity, Haruki grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp too. He then marched towards the exit of the restaurant, turned around, and put his hands on his hips.

“Well? Aren't you coming? Time's a-wastin'!”

I glared at him.

Half a year has already passed since then. Now that I think about it, I seem to have experienced a lot of weird stuff during these past six months. The SOS Brigade's official name is still "The Save the world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" which gives me the creeps. I have no idea where in the world this club brought fun to. I think only Haruki really felt any excitement this entire time. Plus, the club's raison d'etre is still a mystery. The original goal was something about playing with aliens, kidnapping time travelers, and battling alongside espers. However, from Haruki's perspective, this goal still hasn't been reached.

That's is because Haruki believes he hasn't met any aliens, time travelers or espers. I've tried my best, but there was nothing else I could do. I've already told him the other three members' true identities, but of course, he wouldn't believe me. So this shouldn't be my responsibility anymore, right?

Even though the SOS Brigade has failed to reach its intended goal and lost its primary reason for existence, it still hasn't been disbanded. Even now, this unrecognized organization still secretly exists in the Old Shack.

Of course, our five members, including myself, still choose to hang out in our clubroom every day. The student council, after several meetings and different levels of analysis, seems to have decided to ignore us. They didn't approve our club initiation documents, but they didn't say anything regarding our forced takeover of the Literature Club either. Maybe it's because the club's only member, Nagato Yuuki, has no problem with us being here. However, I personally believe that the student council simply does not want to get into an argument with Haruki, so they've decided to feign ignorance.

I don't think anyone in the world would intentionally step on something that says "Warning: Explodes When Stepped On" in red neon lights. And yet somehow I managed to. If I had only known all this would happen, I would not have talked to that stubborn, angry boy who put up that unfriendly expression every single day.

A normal high school girl who accidentally pressed a button that activated a time bomb, and is now being forced to carry that bomb around like some moron - that's me. And worst of all I have no idea when this time bomb named “Suzumiya Haruki” is going to explode, how much damage it will cause, or what else is inside. Even more importantly, I don't even know if this bomb is real. Maybe it's just a toy used to fool little kids.

Sigh... What am I going to do?

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume2 Prologue

2009-06-13T17:23:27Z

Heatth:

Haruki seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't let anything bother him. But he is. The only thing that bothers him is that "this world is too damn ordinary!"

To him, the "extraordinary things" are supernatural phenomena of any kind, meaning that he often thinks weird things like "I can't believe I can't even find half a ghost anywhere!"

I should also let you know that the word "ghost" can be replaced with "alien", "time traveler", or "esper." However, it's common knowledge that things like that only appear in fiction. They simply don't exist in reality. Which means as long as Haruki continues to live in this world, he will continue to be bothered by this fact. The world is supposed to be like this; absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

However, recent events in my life have made it very hard for me to believe these things I normally insist upon; in other words, I'm also bothered.

Because I know that aliens, time travelers, and espers do exist.

----

The following is a dialogue between Haruki and myself:

"Haruki, listen to me for once. I need to tell you something very important."

"What?"

"You've always wanted aliens, time travelers and espers to exist, right?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"And the purpose of our SOS Brigade is to find those kind of people, right?"

"Yeah, but remember, it's not enough just to find them, we have to be able to hang out together too. I wanna play the main role, not just sit on the sidelines like a good little boy."

"That's pretty much the exact opposite of what I want... sigh, whatever. Anyway, have you ever thought that those aliens, time travelers, and espers might actually be surprisingly close?"

"‘Surprisingly close?’ You’re not talking about Yuuki, Mitsuuru-kun, or Koizumi-san, are you? Because if you were, it wouldn’t be much of a ‘surprise’ then."

"Um, well... actually, I did mean to tell you that it was them all along."

"What are you, stupid or something? It can't be that easy."

"Yeah, that would be too simple by normal standards."

"Then tell me, who's the alien?"

"You probably already guessed. Nagato Yuuki is the alien. Um, how did it go again? He’s part of the… Integrated something entity... or Data something entity... something like that. Basically, he was created by aliens and given a body."

"Hmm... and what about Mitsuuru-kun?"

"He’s from the far-off future, a time-traveler."

"Then how many years into the future is he from?"

"Well, he didn't tell me that."

"Oh. I see."

"Really? You do?"

"So that means Koizumi-san is an esper?"

"Yeah, yeah! That's right!"

"Ah." Haruki's eyebrows were twitching as he spoke. He slowly stood up and then, in one quick movement, slammed his palms down on the table:

"Don't. Mess. With. Me!"

Just like that, Haruki completely discarded the truth that I had put so much effort into getting out. Oh well, I had expected this of him. Even after the three of them showed me that they were indeed an alien, a time traveler, and an esper, I still had trouble believing them. So considering that he hadn't seen what I had seen, making Haruki believe what I said was almost impossible.

What could I say, though? I’m a credible-looking person, right? And I’m only trying to tell the truth! People should believe the stuff I say!

Although, Haruki wasn't at fault here. If a nice girl came up to me and said "This person you know is actually someone unbelievable..." I'd probably also lose my temper and start yelling. If that girl said that kind of stuff to me with a straight face, I would probably think that her brain had been infected by some virus, or been addled by deadly neurotoxin. Perhaps I'd even feel sorry for her, but in any case, I don't think I would continue to talk to that girl.

Hey, right now, isn't "that girl" me?

"Listen up, Kyon, and listen carefully." Haruki stared at me with fire in his eyes, his face three inches away from mine. "It doesn't matter whether it's an alien, a time traveler, or a esper, they're not going to casually appear in front of us just like that! Do you know how precious they are? If we find them, we have to grab them by the neck, tie them up, and hang them up so they can't escape! The people that I randomly grabbed off the streets to join our club can't possibly be that rare and precious!"

Wow, Haruki actually made sense for once. Ironically enough though, they really are supernatural. In fact, I'm the only normal human in the club.

Sigh, why does this moron only have common sense when it comes to strange topics? If he'd only believe me, everything would be much simpler. At least this bogus “SOS Brigade” could disband, since it was formed for the sole purpose of finding aliens et al for Haruki. Once he finds those things, there wouldn't be any point in keeping the club around. After that, he can play with those unnatural beings all he likes, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll stay backstage and catch a few laughs.

I really hope this happens soon, because, right now, I feel like an animal trapped in a circus...

Though, if Haruki had any clue what was really going on, I don't know what the world would be like.

Oh, right. I should let you know when this dialogue took place. It happened during our second "SOS Brigade Wandering Around In The City (Temporary Name)” club event, when I talked with Haruki inside the restaurant by the station. It was my only opportunity to tell him about all the unbelievable things happening around him and he didn't take me seriously at all, but I'm fine with that. Whoever believes in that stuff so readily need to have their brain examined anyway.

I didn't bother to tell him the specifics, since too many details about something like this would only make him suspicious. Besides, I didn't understand most of the unclear explanations I heard in Nagato's apartment anyway.

"I just don't ever want to hear lame jokes like this again, okay?" Haruki drained his coke in one gulp. “Anyway, let's go! We can't separate into two groups today, so let's just wander around!”

I can't imagine where Haruki will drag me today, nor do I want to.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to bring my wallet today, so could you pay? Really? Thanks!" Completely ignoring my sputters of protest, Haruki shoved the bill towards me. “I’ll pay you back!”

No, you won’t.

While I was still staring at the eight hundred and thirty yen bill, thinking about how to protest this latest atrocity, Haruki grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp too. He then marched towards the exit of the restaurant, turned around, and put his hands on his hips.

“Well? Aren't you coming? Time's a-wastin'!”

I glared at him.

Half a year has already passed since then. Now that I think about it, I seem to have experienced a lot of weird stuff during these past six months. The SOS Brigade's official name is still "The Save the world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" which gives me the creeps. I have no idea where in the world this club brought fun to. I think only Haruki really felt any excitement this entire time. Plus, the club's raison d'etre is still a mystery. The original goal was something about playing with aliens, kidnapping time travelers, and battling alongside espers. However, from Haruki's perspective, this goal still hasn't been reached.

That's is because Haruki believes he hasn't met any aliens, time travelers or espers. I've tried my best, but there was nothing else I could do. I've already told him the other three members' true identities, but of course, he wouldn't believe me. So this shouldn't be my responsibility anymore, right?

Even though the SOS Brigade has failed to reach its intended goal and lost its primary reason for existence, it still hasn't been disbanded. Even now, this unrecognized organization still secretly exists in the Old Shack.

Of course, our five members, including myself, still choose to hang out in our clubroom every day. The student council, after several meetings and different levels of analysis, seems to have decided to ignore us. They didn't approve our club initiation documents, but they didn't say anything regarding our forced takeover of the Literature Club either. Maybe it's because the club's only member, Nagato Yuuki, has no problem with us being here. However, I personally believe that the student council simply does not want to get into an argument with Haruki, so they've decided to feign ignorance.

I don't think anyone in the world would intentionally step on something that says "Warning: Explodes When Stepped On" in red neon lights. And yet somehow I managed to. If I had only known all this would happen, I would not have talked to that stubborn, angry boy who put up that unfriendly expression every single day.

A normal high school girl who accidentally pressed a button that activated a time bomb, and is now being forced to carry that bomb around like some moron - that's me. And worst of all I have no idea when this time bomb named “Suzumiya Haruki” is going to explode, how much damage it will cause, or what else is inside. Even more importantly, I don't even know if this bomb is real. Maybe it's just a toy used to fool little kids.

Sigh... What am I going to do?

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan|Main Menu]]
| Forward to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume2_Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Epilogue

2009-06-13T17:21:55Z

Heatth:

Let me tell you what happened afterwards.

On my way to the bathroom during lunch break, I met Itsuko in the corridor.

"I really should thank you from the bottom of my heart." She said, greeting me with a smile, "This world has remained unchanged, and Suzumiya-san is here as usual. I’ll have to continue my work now, but don’t think I'm not ungrateful, it’s all thanks to you that we’re all still here.”

Damn right.

“Of course, it's still possible that this world was only created last night! In any case, it’s an honor to have known you and Suzumiya-san. I hope to get to learn more about you," Itsuko said, before taking off, waving her hand at me. "See you after school!"

I went to the Literature Club room during lunch break and there sat Nagato reading his book as usual.

He looked up at me. "For two and a half hours this morning, you and Suzumiya Haruki had disappeared from this world."

He opened his mouth and said this, and only this. Then he lowered his head and continued reading.

"I'm reading the book you lent me now.” I said “I should be able to return it to you in a week."

"I see." He responded, not looking up.

"Can you tell me if there are many others like you on this planet?"

"A lot."

"Does that mean there'll be those who might attack me like Asakura did?"

Nagato now lifted his head and looked directly at me. "I won't let them."

I decided not to mention the library.

----

After school in the club room, I met Asahina-senpai, who was wearing his uniform for once instead of his maid outfit. When he saw me, he practically threw himself at me in tears.

"I'm so glad, I can still see you..." Asahina-senpai cried with his face buried in my shoulder. "I thought you'd never...(sniff)....return to this (sniff) world..."

Perhaps he just realized he was embracing me, because Asahina-senpai suddenly released me at once.

"N-no, I can't! If Suzumiya-san sees this, the same thing will happen again!"

"I don't really get what you're saying, Asahina-senpai..."

Looking at the teary-eyed, adorable little Asahina-senpai, I tried to calm him down. "Why aren't you wearing your maid costume today?"

"It's being washed."

At this point, I suddenly remembered something, and pointed towards my heart. "Oh yeah, Asahina-senpai, you've got a star-shaped birthmark around here on your chest."

Wiping the tears away from his eyes, Asahina-senpai looked confused. He then loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt to take a look inside it.

"E-eh, that's weird... I never noticed it myself... H-hey! How did you find out!?" Asahina-senpai blushed furiously. Cute as always.

Your future self told me about it. I wonder if I should tell Asahina-senpai the truth?

Suddenly, I heard someone near the door clearing their throat. It was Haruki, who stood there with an evil grin.

“Having fun, Mitsuuru-kun?” He said, as he lifted the paper bag he was carrying. “Congratulations!” Haruki hummed a tune that sounded like it came from an old RPG. “You've gained a level in manliness! Come! Time to change!"

Haruki moved as swiftly as a martial arts master and grabbed Asahina-senpai, who was too surprised to move.

"N...nooooo~~!" Poor Asahina-senpai screamed endlessly as Haruki forcefully pulled off his uniform.

"Stop moving! Resistance is futile! This time it's a butler uniform! Aren't you glad you don't have to cross-dress anymore?”

"A...at least lock the door!"

Of course, I went outside, shutting the door.
Although I feel sorry for Asahina-san, I'm really looking forward to what I'll see when the door opens. I wonder how cute he'll be as a butler...

Ah yes, and Nagato was there as well, sitting in the corner as usual, quietly reading his book.

----

This time, I finally handed the SOS Brigade application form to the Student Council. If I didn't bribe the Student Council, there was no way they'd ever allow a club like the "Save the World by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" to exist.

That's why I changed the name slightly to the "Supporting the Student Council in Organizing the School Brigade" (abbreviated as the SOS Brigade), and I altered the club's activities summary to "providing all sorts of consultation services to any problems people may encounter at school, and to actively participate in local community services".

I don't know what that really means, but I guess it'll be OK as long as it makes sense grammatically. After that I'll just make some posters about those annoying consultations and stick them on the board. I have a feeling we won’t get any cases that Haruki would deem as “something interesting”.

On the other hand, Haruki's "Search for Mysterious Events" in the town continued under his command for the second memorable time today. According to precedent, today's activities should have involved wasting a whole weekend wandering around aimlessly, but today Asahina-senpai, Nagato, and even Itsuko all said they couldn't come as they had something important to do, so I ended up waiting all alone for Haruhi at the station ticket turnstiles.

I don't know what those three were up to, or whether they genuinely had something important. But since they aren't normal humans in the first place, it's not surprising that they would need to handle some very important matters in some place I'd never heard of.
I looked at my watch. There were still thirty minutes before the meeting time. I had stood here for thirty minutes already; in other words, I arrived an hour early. I did this not because I looked forward to today's activity, but because the SOS Brigade had an unwritten rule that whoever arrives last, whether they're late or not, has to pay a fine.

Besides, there's only two people involved in today's activity.

I lifted my head and saw a familiar figure, casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He probably never expected me to arrive so early, and stood stunned on the spot. He then grumpily raised a hand in greeting and walked towards me. I didn't know whether his frown had to do with today's low attendance rate, or the fact that I arrived earlier than he did. I'll just have to ask him when we get to the cafe. Of course, Haruki will be the one paying.

By then, I'll have many things I want to talk to him about, like where the SOS Brigade is going from now on, Asahina-senpai's costumes, trying to have him talk to his classmates for once, and asking him what he thinks of Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic techniques.

However, I need a good topic before I can start a real conversation with him.

Ah, I've already decided what to say. That's right, I've decided...

...To talk about aliens, time travelers, and espers.

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Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Chapter7

2009-06-13T17:19:44Z

Heatth:

An artificial human who claims to be created by aliens, a boy who traveled from the future, and a magical esper girl have all shown me proof of their identities in order to gain my trust. They revolve around Haruki for three different reasons. Honestly, it's not too bad at all. No, wait, it ''is'' bad. Because I still can't understand one thing.

Why me?

Itsuko said that the reason aliens, time travelers, and espers all gather around Haruki is because he wished for it.

Then what about me?

Why am I involved in all of this? I'm just a normal human being. One hundred percent normal. I don't have any sudden memories of a strange past life, or any unspeakable powers. Just an extremely normal high school girl!

Who the hell wrote the script for this story anyway?

Or has someone drugged me and caused me to hallucinate all of this? Or have I been struck by a toxic electric wave? Who the hell got me stuck in all this?

Could it be… Haruki?

…Just kidding.

I don't really know anything.

But why am I so troubled? It seems like all the answers rest with Haruki. He should be the one worrying, not me. Why do I have to be frustrated for him as well? This doesn't make sense! I've decided that it doesn’t make sense! If things are as Nagato, Itsuko and Asahina-sempai say, then you guys should just tell Haruki himself! Whatever becomes of the world then, that's his responsibility; I have absolutely nothing to do with it!

Just put him on your merry-go-round! Leave me out of this!

----

As the days counted down to summer, I walked slowly up the slope, wiping my sweat with my sleeve and wishing, as per the usual, that I could take a cold shower when I got to school.

If it was already this hot in the morning, it’d be hellish by noon.

Then as I was walking up Mt. Elbrus with gritted teeth, someone put their arm around me. I immediately yelled "Don't touch me! It's too damn hot!" and turned around, Taniguchi's cheerful face came into view.

"Yo!" Taniguchi, walking side by side with me now, was also sweating.

"It’s so annoying! This sweat is just ruining my hairdo," she said, though she still looked cheerful. Now that’s annoying.

"Say, Taniguchi," I cut in as Taniguchi went on babbling nonsensically about her dog, "I'm a normal high school girl, right?"

"What?" Taniguchi gave a laugh as though she'd heard a very funny joke. "Give me your definition of ‘normal’. This conversation won’t make any sense otherwise."

"That so?" I already regretted asking her that question.

"Just kidding! You, normal? HA! You think a normal high school girl would let a guy push her down in an empty classroom?"

Of course not. That’s something you’d do.

It looked like she wasn’t going to forget that anytime soon, however.

"Don’t worry! Your secret is safe with me! He is cute, so I understand,” she continued.

I’m going to hear about this for the rest of my life if I don’t do something soon.

"By my rating, Nagato Yuuki is an A-minus!”

…An A-minus, huh… interesting.

Dammit, what am I thinking about?

"Look, you’re misunderstanding. What happened was because…”

Right now, Taniguchi must be thinking something really perverted. In order to counteract this, I decided to use the following explanation”

Poor Nagato-kun is the victim of Haruki's unreasonable occupation of the Literature Club room. He was very troubled at not being able to hold activities for his own club, so he decided to come to me for help. He asked me if I could help make Haruki give up the Literature Club room and go somewhere else. Moved by his clear sincerity, I decided to help out the poor guy, and discussed it with him in a place where Haruki wouldn't find out about it. As we talked about what to do in the classroom after Haruki had left, Nagato fainted as a result of his chronic anaemia. I tried to catch him before he fell to the floor, but he was too big for me and so he ended up on top of me. That was when you came barging in. Indeed, now that you know the truth, it sounds perfectly innocent, right?

"Liar!" She even slapped me in between my shoulder blades after saying that.

Bah… it took me ages to come up with such a perfect cover story! I can't believe I couldn't fool her!

"Look, let’s say I believe those lies; I still don't think you're normal. If the unsociable Nagato Yuuki came to you for help, that's really something."

Is Nagato really that famous?

"Besides, you're a slave of Suzumiya. If that makes you a normal high school girl, then I'm as normal as a water flea."

If we’re going to talk about your normalness… "Taniguchi, tell me honestly, do you have any super magical powers?"

"W-wha-?" The already foolish look on her face went up a notch.

"I see,” she said, looking down “so even you aren't immune to Suzumiya's poison... Even though we don't hang out a lot, you really are nice. So please, try not to stick too close to me; I don't want to be infected with the Suzumiya Virus as well."

I glared at Taniguchi while she started to laugh uncontrollably.

…If this girl's an esper, then from today onward, I'm the Empress of Japan.

“Oh, that reminds me, Taniguchi,” I said suddenly. “Give me your phone’s SD card.”

“Huh?” She looked confused.

“I noticed you snapped a photo of Nagato and me while we were in the clubroom.”

“But I told you,” Taniguchi argued. “I’d never--”

“Give it here.”

After grumbling for a bit, Taniguchi ejected the card from her phone and handed it over to me. Even though I doubt she’d spread the photo around the school, I don’t feel safe with it in someone else’s possession.

…Besides, it’s my memory, and I want to keep it somewhere safe.

We reached the stairs leading to the school entrance. I was even sort of grateful to Taniguchi, as the weather had sort of cooled down after my conversation with her. Must be all the hot air she uses talking.

In hot weather like this, even Haruki could only lie exhausted on his desk, looking at the hills in the distance, full of melancholy.

"Kyon, I'm hot!" he whined.

Really? So am I.

"Fan me with your book."

"Instead of fanning someone else, I'd rather fan myself. I don't have enough energy early in the morning to fan you. Besides, since when am I your slave, anyway?"

Since I joined the SOS Brigade?

Haruki, unresponsive, remained laying lazily on the desk, lacking his usual pompous energy.

"What do you think Mitsuuru-kun should wear next?" he asked all of a sudden.

Well, after the Chippendale and the maid outfit would be... Hey, wait a minute, there's going to be another costume!?

"Should it be a catboy? Or maybe I should upgrade him to a butler? Maybe I should have him cosplay as Hard Gay…?"

Images of Ashaina-senpai blushing furiously as his small wriggling body is forced into all sorts of costumes flashed through my mind. He’s just too cute!

Haruki, guessing what I was thinking, scowled at me. "You look stupid," he decided, flipping his hair out of his face.

Hey, weren't you the one bringing up the subject? I guess he’s right, though, so I won’t argue with him -- out loud.

While fanning the neck of his uniform with a textbook, Haruki blurted out, "I'm so bored," his mouth perfectly like a heno-ji. He looked like a character from a manga.

----

After school, as always, I headed towards the clubroom. Haruki was on duty this week, so my walk there was free of his depressing atmosphere. As usual, I knocked first and waited for a reply before entering. Immediately a cute maid greeted me with the brightest of smiles, like a sunflower greeting the sun. Ah, I feel so warm!

Nagato sat by the table reading a book, as cold and pure as the first snowfall of the year.

Ugh, what kind of comparisons am I making?

"I'll go and make tea." Putting on his headband, Asahina-senpai went to the side of the rusty table and carefully placed the tea leaves into the teapot.

I sat in the commander's seat, watching Asahina-senpai busying himself, when I suddenly remembered the SD card in my skirt pocket.

Thinking that I’d add the picture to my collection of photos from the other day, I turned on the computer and waited for the hard disk to boot up. Once the screen appeared, I opened up the folder labeled “MITSUURU” and entered my password. As expected, the processing speed was unbelievable on the Computer Club's new model. In an instant, pictures of Asahina-senpai's maid costume images appeared on the screen.

After I made sure Asahina-senpai was busy brewing tea, I plugged the SD card into the slot on the front of the computer and transferred Taniguchi’s picture to the MITSUURU folder.

Looking at the picture of Nagato and me… if that was shown to anyone ignorant of the situation, they’d definitely misunderstand.

It was at that moment that I remembered what the older Asahina-senpai had said to me in the clubroom yesterday. I clicked on one of Asahina-senpai’s photos, and enlarged it again and again.

It was from the time Asahina-senpai was being forced into weird poses by Haruki. His bare chest could be just seen, and there it was, a little black mark. I highlighted that mark and enlarged it further; the image was a bit fuzzy, but sure enough, there was a star-shaped birthmark.

"So that's it." I said to myself

"Did you find something?" Before Asahina-senpai placed the teacup on the desk, I swiftly closed all the image files. By the time Asahina-senpai stood by my side, he’d find nothing on the screen.

"Huh, what's this? What's inside this "MITSUURU" folder?"

Dammit! Why did I have to go and give that folder such a stupid name?

"Why does that folder have my name? What's inside it? Let me see, c'mon! Let me see!"

I jumped out of the commander’s chair. "Aggh, um, what's inside... I wonder? Probably nothing… In fact there’s definitely nothing!"

"Reeaally?" Asahina-senpai cheerfully plopped himself down in the commander’s chair and moved the cursor towards the folder’s icon. Like I’d let that happen! I dived forward, trying to grab the mouse from him, but he pulled away easily and I only ended up reaching over his shoulder.

"Asahina-senpai, can you please just let go?"

"C'mon, just a peek!" Asahina-senpai, who seemed to be enjoying himself, continued to fight with me for control of the mouse. I felt the situation was going from bad to worse.

At that moment, a hand reached from behind me and snatched up the mouse.

"What are you two doing?"

We were frozen by a voice colder than absolute zero. Haruki, standing before us, looked down on us as though he had just witnessed his dad assaulting an innocent girl.

How long has he been here?

I slowly got off of Asahina-senpai who, at the moment, was still frozen in shock.

“So, Mitsuuru-kun,” Haruki said quietly. “I see you have managed to become more bold. Good. Congratulations. You’ve leveled up.”

What?

“Now get out of my chair.”

At this command, the stunned Asahina-senpai began to move. He got out of the chair, retreated slowly, and then slowly sat down at the table like an ASIMO robot whose batteries were nearly dead. His pale face looked close to tears.

Haruki made a "humph" noise, and plopped himself down in front of the computer. I managed to breathe a sigh of relief, until…

“Huh? What’s this folder?”

Not again…

“Haruki, wait, that’s…” I tried to stop him, but too late, he clicked on it.

“Password?” Haruki raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Obviously it’s Kyon’s brother’s name, right?”

I feel like such an idiot.

Upon viewing the lewd photos of Asahina-senpai inside, Haruki glanced at me. “I thought these photos were deleted…?”

He continued to scroll down through the photos, eventually getting to the photos of me in the bunny outfit. He gave me an icy smile.

“Heh. I guess this means you enjoyed wearing it? Maybe I should make it a rule that you should wear this in the clubroom from now on?”

“Yeah, sure, why not? Now how about you close that folder so I can—"

Too late, Haruki had seen the final image, the one that Taniguchi had snapped two days ago.

He froze. After a couple seconds, he got up out of the chair and turned towards me. "So, you're interested in serious bookish guys, huh?"

"What are you trying to say?" I responded, my eyes cast to the side.

Haruki plowed on unflinchingly, watching me react. “When was this taken?”

“T-two… two days ago…”

Haruki stared at me for a few seconds. “That was when you started wearing your hair differently. Did he tell you that it looks better on you that way?” He pointed angrily at Nagato, who was finally looking up from his book. “Because that’s—"

“Shut up, you moron!” I shouted suddenly. “Don’t misunderstand!”

This guy doesn’t know all crap that I’ve been through because of him! Of course not, since he’s too busy chasing time travelers and aliens! Well, Haruki, hurry up and realize that you’re pointing at one right now, you giant idiot!

Of course, Haruki couldn’t hear the thoughts going on through my head as much as he would’ve liked to and only looked at the ground. “So that’s how it is, huh….” His head snapped back up to face me, teeth bared. “Listen, you’re forbidden from doing anything like that ever again! This is your chief ordering you! I don’t want you to even so much as talk to him, understand?!”

“Shut up! You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Sure I can, I just—"

“Asshole! Stop acting like you’re special! You’re just an ordinary human being like everyone else, you can’t go making up rules however you feel like!”

<“You get NOTHING!” Lol, Bliss, ever watch Charlie and the Chocolate factory?

Haruki glared at me with wide eyes, biting his lip. Then, slowly, he stepped forward, his hands clenched into fists and without even realizing it, I took a step back. He took another step and this time I cringed, squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for him to strike. He never did. Haruki breezed by me, grabbed his schoolbag, and stormed out of the clubroom, slamming the door behind him.

I might have gone a bit too far myself there, but Haruki who didn’t understand anything, deserved it. Asahina-senpai, staring at the table, avoided looking at me. Nagato simply continued to read his book as if nothing happened.

At that moment, the door opened.

"Did I just see Suzumiya-san run down the hallway?”

Itsuko, who had just arrived, greeted everyone with her smile.

Since no one else was going to answer, I did. “He wasn’t feeling well. He decided to go home.” I said, still a little out of breath.

“Are you sure?” she said. “It looked more like he had just had a fight with somebody.”

“…”

I looked up at Itsuko, whose smile hadn’t wavered, and said finally, "Wanna play Othello?"

"Sure, I haven't played in quite a while." Itsuko, who took my non-sequitur in stride, sat down.

As black and white fought for control of the board, (I never thought that Itsuko, who could turn into a glowing sphere, would be so lousy at board games) Asahina-senpai got up and muttered something about making tea, while Nagato, of course, continued to indulge himself with his book.

I’m confused as to why we’re still here.
That's right, that day we conducted our SOS Brigade activities peacefully. Nothing associated with aliens from a different dimension, time travelers from the future, red giants, or blue glowing spheres happened at that time. No one wanted to do anything special, nor did anyone know what he or she should have been doing. We just allowed ourselves to ride on the flow of time, living our high school life idly. Everything seemed perfectly normal.

Even though I was dissatisfied with such a normal life, I'd always tell myself, "Why think so much? You've got so much time." And then I would once again look forward to the next day.

Even with the fight today, I cheered up a bit. I came aimlessly to this clubroom and watched Asahina-senpai work busily like a maid, Nagato sit like a Buddha statue, Itsuko with her bright smile, and Haruki with his energy and mood swings. All these things gave off an aura of complete normality, yet all these had become part of my surprisingly satisfying high school life. Though I've had the out-of-reality experiences of a classmate trying to murder me and seeing fierce monsters appearing in a grey world, at this moment they seem more like a dream than something that really happened.

I was still angry at Haruki for trying to boss me around, but I did have to thank him for letting me meet such interesting people. Although I can’t really appreciate the other more outrageous things… Putting aside the question of "Why me?” maybe someday there'd be normal humans like me who want to join this club.

But in the end, there’s no predicting him because only one person in the world can control Suzumiya Haruki.

And that someone is Suzumiya Haruki himself.

That night, after eating dinner, having a bath and finishing my homework for tomorrow's English lesson, I decided it was time to go to sleep. I lay on my bed and opened the thick hardback book Nagato had stuffed into my arms. I thought a quick read wouldn't hurt, so I casually went over the first few pages. The story was surprisingly interesting, so I kept reading page after page. You really have to read through one to understand how enjoyable a book can be. Maybe I should read a bit more often?

Of course, it's impossible to finish such a thick book in one night, so I put down the book after reading a very long monologue by one of the protagonists. I began to get sleepy, and after placing the bookmark with Nagato's handwriting into the book, I switched off the lights and crept underneath my blanket. In a few minutes, I was in dreamland.

----

Do you know why humans have dreams? Sleeping is divided into Rapid Eye Movement (REM) and Non Rapid Eye Movement (NREM), and they go in periodic cycles. NREM occurs for the first few hours after a person falls asleep, the brain enters a stasis-like state during this stage. The stage in which the body is unconscious, while the brain becomes slightly active is known as REM, and dreams will occur in this stage. By morning, REM will have increased in frequency, meaning almost everyone will dream until they wake up. I dream every night, but as I usually wake up late in the mornings, I'm in such a hurry to go to school that I usually forget what I've dreamed. Yet, sometimes, I'll suddenly remember a long forgotten dream I had years ago. It's really amazing how a human's memories are structured.

Alright, enough technical stuff. I don’t really give a damn anyway.

----

I felt someone shaking me. Go away! I'm tired! Don't disturb my dreams!

"…Kyon."

The alarm clock hadn't even rung yet. Even if it had, I would have turned it off at once, and it was still quite a while before dad would send my brother in to drag me out of bed.

"Wake up already."

No… I want to sleep some more… Every minute of rest is precious.

"Oi! I said wake up! Can't you hear me?"

The hands on my shoulders were now shaking me until the back of my head banged against the hard floor and my eyes snapped open, already watering with pain.

Hard floor?

I sat upright, confused. Haruki looked down on me and backed off to avoid bumping our heads together.

"Sorry, had to wake you."

Kneeling beside me was Haruki in his school uniform. His white face displayed an expression of anxiety.

"Do you know where this is?"

Of course I do; we're at North High, the school we go to, and right now we're at the staircase in front of the shoe lockers by the school entrance. There were no lights on, and the school at night appeared grey before us…

No, wait. Something's wrong.

There was no night sky above.

Just a monotonous grey horizon. There was neither the moon nor stars, not even a single cloud. Only a grey sky like a concrete ceiling.

A world covered in silence and darkness.

This is Closed Space.

I slowly got up. To my amazement, I was not wearing my pajamas, but my sailor uniform. To my further amazement, I was wearing the ponytail I had lost 2 days ago.

"When I woke up, I found myself here, and you by my side. What's going on here? Why are we at school?" Haruki asked, his voice abnormally quiet.

I didn't answer him at first, instead trying to determine whether this was a dream or not. From the pain of pinching the back of my hand, to the feel of my uniform on my body, it definitely felt like reality. I pulled two of my hairs out and winced. I probably shouldn’t have gone that far.

"Haruki, are we the only ones here?" I asked.

"Yeah… last I remember, I was asleep in my bed and then suddenly...” Haruki looked up, “Where is this? The sky looks so strange..."

"Have you seen Itsuko?"

"Koizumi-san? No… why'd you mention her?"

"No reason, just curious."

If this Space was created by a ‘quake in the dimensional faultline’ or by Haruki himself, those glowing giants ought to show up and destroy everything, and Itsuko and the other espers are the only ones who can stop them. But if they’re not here…

"Anyway, let's escape from the school!” I said, walking forward. “Maybe we'll run into someone."

Haruki followed me. "Hey, how come you don't look worried at all?"

I am most certainly worried! I’m just not going to show it in front of you. What bothers me the most, though, is that you're here as well. Isn't this a playground for your giants? Or am I being oversensitive and just dreaming all of this? All alone with Haruki in an empty world… Freud would have no trouble analyzing this!

I remained at a distance from Haruki as we walked towards the school entrance, when an invisible wall suddenly stopped us in our tracks. I still remember the elastic feel of this wall. It could be pushed inwards a bit, but soon after, another harder wall would block any attempts to penetrate further.

"…What’s this?" Haruki reached out with his arms and tried to push the invisible wall to no avail.

“Like cold washed vegetables…” he muttered.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

I walked along the track field and traced the wall. It seems that we're trapped inside the school.

"It doesn’t look like there’s a way out of the school." I couldn't feel any breeze. It was as though even the air had stopped flowing.

"Let's try the back entrance!"

"I have a better idea,” I said. “Let's look for a phone. I didn't bring my cell phone to bed with me tonight.”

I don’t know how long it’ll take for the giants to come out, but I don’t want to be here when they do. Although, if this was the Closed Space that Itsuko told me about, then finding a phone would be useless. Even so, we still decided to go inside the school to look around. There should be a phone in the staff room.

The school looked eerie in the dark with all the lights off. We passed by the shoe lockers and silently entered the school building. Along the way, we turned on the lights for the first floor, and the ceiling lamps lit up at once. Even though they were cold, artificial lights, they were enough to elicit a sigh of relief from both Haruki and me.

After making sure there was no one in the classrooms on the first floor, we headed to the staff room. Of course, the door was locked, so Haruki picked up a nearby fire extinguisher, smashed the window open, and entered through there.

"...Doesn't seem to work." Haruki held the phone up to his ear, but apparently couldn’t hear anything. He tried dialing some numbers, but nothing happened.

We left the staff room and went up the stairs, turning on all the lights along the way. Haruki had suggested we return to our classroom, since the Class 1-5’s room was located at the top floor. Maybe we could figure out something by looking down from above?

Twice, the sound of the building settling startled me, and I grabbed Haruki’s sleeve on reflex each time.

After I did this the second time, Haruki glanced sideways at me. “If you're that scared, then grab onto my arm. It looks more natural that way.”

“Idiot." I said, but I didn’t let go of his jacket.

There was no change in our classroom; it was exactly like we'd left it after school.

"Kyon, come look..."

Haruki went quiet after looking out the windows. I walked to his side and looked down at the situation.

All around was a deep grey world. Looking down from the fourth floor at the top of the hill, I could even see the horizon beyond the shore. It was darkness within the panoramic view, not a single light was on and not a soul to be seen.

"What is this place…?” Haruki asked. “It’s like the end of the world…”

It wasn't everyone else that had disappeared, but rather, the two of us who had appeared here. It seems that we had stumbled into Closed Space by accident.

"This is weird." Haruki murmured, crossing his arms.

Since we didn't know where else to go, we returned to the clubroom where we usually spent our afternoons. As I'd already stolen the keys from the staff room, we were able to unlock the door and enter.

Both of us breathed a sigh of relief at returning to the familiar, well-lit room.

We turned on the radio, but couldn't even hear static. The clubroom was so quiet that only the sound of me pouring tea could be heard. I couldn’t take the time to change tea leaves, so I brewed the tea with thoroughly overused and tasteless ones. Haruki stood beside me blankly gazing at the grey world outside.

"You want some tea?" I asked.

"No." Haruki didn’t even look at me, just continued to stare out the window.

I took my teacup, pulled out a chair, and sat down. I took a sip. Sigh… Asahina-senpai’s tea is so much better than mine. I wonder where he got such talent…

"Just what is going on here!? I don't get it! What is this place? Why am I here?" Haruki stood by the window and faced outside; he looked very troubled. "And why am I stuck here with you…?"

I scowled. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Haruki scowled right back at my response. "I'm going to go look around." He said and proceeded to leave the room. I stood up as well, but he turned to me…

"You stay here, it’s safer. I'll be right back." After saying that, he dashed from the room. Just like him to do something like that!

While hearing Haruki’s energetic footsteps disappearing and sipping my tasteless warm tea, that thing appeared.

It was a small glowing blue sphere. At first it was the size of a table tennis ball, then slowly the sphere grew larger, shining like a firefly before finally taking on a humanoid shape.

"Itsuko, is that you?"

Before me was a glowing humanoid, but I could not see Itsuko's appearance clearly, just her bare outline.

"Hi!" A relaxed feminine voice came from within the glowing object.

"It took you long enough! I thought you’d appear in your human form…"

"It’s a bit more complicated than that. I'll be honest: this isn’t normal." The blue light flickered a bit. "If this were normal Closed Space, I could have gotten inside easily, but not this time. I can only appear in this incomplete form and that’s only with the help of my companions. I can’t even stay with you for very long. Our powers are disappearing slowly, even as we speak."

"Just what's going on? Is it just me and Haruki here?"

"Yes," Itsuko answered. "We’ve all been afraid that this would happen sooner or later and now it finally has. Suzumiya-san has grown tired of this reality and has decided to create a new one."

There was no way to respond.

"Our superiors are in a total panic. Who knows what the world will become when its God has disappeared. Though it's possible the world will survive as long as Suzumiya-san decides to have mercy upon it, it is also possible that it'll vanish in an instant."

"What are you trying to say…?" I don’t want to believe this.

"Simply put," the blue light was now flickering like a flame, "You and Suzumiya-san have disappeared from our world. This world is not Closed Space but rather a brand new world created by Suzumiya-san. The Closed Space we've seen before was probably just practice for this moment."

You know, that’s a really funny joke, but I don't know how to laugh right now. Ha. Ha. Ha.

"I’m not joking. This world is probably the closest to the world that Suzumiya-san desires. We're still not sure what kind of world that is, but we should have an answer to that soon."

"Look, let’s move on. The real problem is, why am I here?"

"You haven’t realized it yet? Suzumiya-san has chosen you. You are the only person that Suzumiya-san truly wants to be with. It’s really too obvious. " The light around Itsuko now glimmered like a torch running out of batteries. "I'm close to my limit now. At this rate, I'll never be able to see you again; on the other hand though, I'm kind of relieved since I no longer have to go hunting for those Celestials anymore."

"So I’m just supposed to live alone with Haruki in this grey world!?"

"Well, I guess you’re kind of like Adam and Eve. Just work hard on re-populating the world and it'll be fine! Don’t worry, I hear childbirth gets easier after you’ve had your first one."

"… If I get out of this, I’m going to hurt you."

"It’s just a joke! A joke! Right now this closed state is only temporary, but very soon it'll probably become similar to the world you know. Yet this world will be completely different from the world we're from. In fact, this world could be considered the real world, while the original world should be considered Closed Space. As for what differences there are between these two worlds, unfortunately, we don’t know yet. If I'm fortunate enough to be reborn in the new world, I’ll be counting on you to show me around."

At this moment, Itsuko the glowing humanoid object began to slowly disintegrate and then, like a star running out of fuel, now shrank to its original table tennis ball size.

"So there’s no way back to the original world?"

"If Suzumiya-san wishes it, it might be possible. It’s a pity that it’s come to this. I’ve only known you for a month, but I’ve really enjoyed my time with the SOS Brigade… Ah, right, I nearly forgot. I have to relay both Asahina Mitsuuru’s and Nagato Yuuki's messages to you."

Before Itsuko disappeared completely, she left this message: "Asahina Mitsuuru asked me to apologize in his place: he said, 'I'm sorry, it's all my fault.' Also, Nagato Yuuki tells you to 'Remember to turn on the computer.'"

After the message, she vanished like a candle flame blown out by the wind.

I don't know why Asahina-senpai had to apologize to me. Had Asahina-senpai done something wrong to me? But I decided not to think about that now.

Instead, I followed Nagato's request and switched on the computer. After the hard disk makes a beeping sound, the OS trademark should appear on the screen… That's strange, why is nothing showing up? The OS screen, which was supposed to appear after a few seconds, didn't appear; the screen was pitch black with only a white typing cursor flashing in the upper left corner of the screen. Then, the cursor started moving silently, and a line of cold words appeared.

YUUKI.N > Can you read this?

I was stunned for a moment, and then I pulled the keyboard closer and started typing.

'Yes.'

YUUKI.N > I have not completely lost contact with the world you are in. But that is only a matter of time, since the disconnection should occur very soon. If that is true, this will be our final conversation.

'What should I do?'

YUUKI.N > I do not know. The abnormal data spurt has disappeared completely on this side. The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is very disappointed with this, because they will lose the possibility to evolve.

'What do you mean by the possibility to evolve? Just how is Haruki evolving?'

YUUKI.N > Being highly sentient means being able to process data quickly and accurately. Sentient organic life forms are limited by the excessive inaccurate and mixed-up data streams caused by their physical bodies, and are unable to process data quickly and accurately. So after evolving to a certain stage, organic life forms will cease to evolve.

'Is it possible to evolve even without a physical body?'

YUUKI.N > The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is created purely from data. They too had believed that their ability to process data would increase infinitely until the universe overheated itself. But they were wrong. As with the universe having an edge, their evolution also has a limit, at least for sentient entities relying on data to survive.

'What about Suzumiya?'

YUUKI.N > Suzumiya Haruki possesses the ability to create massive amounts of data out of nothing. That is the ability that the Integrated Data Sentient Entity does not have. He can release data that could never be processed by a human, a mere organic life form, in its lifetime. The Integrated Data Sentient Entity believes if this data-creating ability is analyzed, then they will be able to find clues to how to auto-evolve.

The cursor flashed momentarily. Perhaps Nagato was hesitating on what words to use. The next second, the words flowed like water.

YUUKI.N > I'm betting everything on you.

'Betting on me for what?'

YUUKI.N > I hope that you can both return to this world. Suzumiya Haruki is an important observation target, an important treasure that might only appear once in this universe. Besides that, I also wish for you to return.

The color of the words began to fade as the electricity supply got weaker. The cursor continued to type out words.

YUUKI.N > Let us go to the library again next time.

The screen grew darker; I tried adjusting the brightness of the display, to no avail. Just before everything disappeared, Nagato typed out three more words:

YUUKI.N> the snow queen

The sudden sound of the hard disk whirring loudly made me jump in my seat. The access lights on the CPU flickered, and the familiar OS logo appeared. The sound of the computer fan was the only thing that could be heard in this silent world.

I tried to make sense of that final message. What had Nagato meant? Maybe he was talking about Yuki-onna... but that didn't seem to be right. I don't know how Nagato knew about it, but when I was little, the fairy tale of the Snow Queen was one of my favourite stories. The tale of the brave little girl going out in search of her one true love, overcoming every trial the world sent at her, until she was finally reunited with him in the palace of the Snow Queen, all of it made me imagine that someday I could have an adventure like that. And when it was all over, I could live happily ever after, together with my true love.

And so on and so on, I forgot how exactly it had ended, but wasn’t really the problem here.

"What should I do? Nagato! Itsuko! Someone answer me!"

I sighed deeply and turned my head despondently towards the window.

----

A deep red light shone in from outside.

A glowing giant now stood in the school courtyard. It was so close that it looked like a huge red wall.

Haruki burst into the room. "Kyon! Something's appeared!"

Haruki hurriedly squeezed beside me to stick his head out the window, mouth agape. "What is that? It's huge! Is it a monster? It doesn't seem like an illusion." He was beaming with excitement. His depressed anxiety from a while ago had disappeared. Right now, his eyes glimmered with enthusiasm. Unlike me, he wasn’t afraid at all.

"Is it an alien? Or it maybe it’s a super-weapon created by the ancients, waking up from its long slumber? Is that thing the reason we can't escape from school?"

The blue wall moved. The giant smashed the school building with ease, but I was too struck with terror to move.

A tremor ran through the building suddenly and Haruki pushed me down to the floor. Just as the ceiling cracked and bits and piece of debris rained down, Haruki shielded me with his body.

I could hear the giant still swinging and stomping. From this I knew the giant's target was not the clubs complex but rather the school complex opposite.

“…T-thanks. You okay?” I asked Haruki.

Haruki coughed and grinned. “Heh, this is nothing.” As he got up, plaster dust and chunks of roof slid off his back. “Put your arms around my neck.”

“Huh?”

“We need to get out of the building. Put your arms around my neck so I can carry you out of here!” Haruki said, already reaching underneath me with his arms.

“Hey, wait!”

Too late, I was already in his grasp. Reluctantly, I reached up and put my arms around Haruki, who picked me up and dashed out of the clubroom.

With the speed of someone who would have been the ace of the track team, Haruki ran towards the staircase. Every moment punctuated by steel and concrete being torn apart as the giant continued its rampage.

Being where I was, I could feel Haruki’s heart pounding against his chest, almost beating into me.

After crossing the courtyard, we headed past the slope and towards the track field. At this moment I took a quick glance up at Haruki. It might have been the angle that I was looking from, but he seemed quite happy. It was like seeing a child waking up on Christmas morning and finding out the presents he had wanted all along were now by his bedside.

After running a fair distance from the school buildings, Haruki stopped, turned and together we saw just how huge the giant was. The giant was the same size as the one Itsuko showed me in Closed Space, almost as tall as a skyscraper.

The giant waved its hand, and the school building collapsed. Since the four-story complex was already ripped open from its previous strike, it now fell easily. The debris fell and scattered in all directions along with the deafening noise it created.

Haruki ran frantically to the centre of the two hundred meter track field, where he stopped and put me down.

An unbelievable red giant has now appeared in the dark monotonous school. If you want to take pictures, you should be taking these, and not pictures of the president of the Computer Club groping Asahina-senpai's package, and definitely not pictures of Asahina-senpai wearing all sorts of costumes. The website ought to have pictures like what we're seeing right now!

As I was thinking about this, Haruki quickly said in my ear, "Do you think she'll attack us? I don't think she's evil at all… whaddya think?"

"I don’t know." As I answered Haruki, I thought about what Itsuko told me when she brought me inside Closed Space. If we let these "Celestials" continue their rampage, then after their destruction, Closed Space will replace the real world, meaning this grey world will replace the world we came from, and then…

What will become of our world?

According to what Itsuko just told me, Haruki seems to be creating a brand new world. Will the Asahina-senpai and Nagato I know be in this new world? Or will it be a surreal world where these "Celestials" walk around freely, and aliens, time travelers, and espers become commonplace?

If the world really becomes like that, what role will I be playing?

Argh, forget it! It's useless trying to think anymore, because I just don't get it. I don't get what Haruki's thinking, and I don't possess any telepathic power that allows me to read what others think.

At this instant, I heard Haruki speaking to me, "What’s really going on here? Whether it's this world or that giant, it's so weird…"

Those things were all created by you, buster! I should be the one asking the questions! Why'd you drag me into all of this!? Adam and Eve? No way! It’s so stupid! I won't believe in such a crappy story! Never!

"Don't you want to return to the original world?" I asked calmly.

"What did you say?" Haruki turned towards me. His fiery eyes were now shrouded in darkness.

"We can't just stay here forever! There's not a single shop, so there's nowhere to eat when we get hungry. Besides, the school's surrounded by an invisible wall: there's no way out of here. At this rate we'll just starve to death."

"Don’t worry so much! Things will eventually sort themselves out, I’m sure of it. For some reason, I feel really happy all of a sudden!"

"Then what about the SOS Brigade? You created that club! You're just gonna leave it?"

"I really don't give a damn anymore! I'm already experiencing something exciting now; there's no need for me to go out and search for mysterious events."

"But, I want to return to the original world."

The giant momentarily stopped in its demolition of the school.

"Before we ended up in this strange situation, I didn't realize how much I liked my life the way it was. There I have the idiot Taniguchi, Kunikida, Itsuko, Nagato, Asahina-senpai, and even the long-vanished Asakura-san, I guess."

"…What are you talking about?"

"I really want to see those friends again. I have a lot of things I want to tell them."

Haruki turned back towards the school, and then spoke. "We'll see them, don’t worry. This world won't be covered in darkness forever. Once morning comes, the sun will come up. I'm sure of that."

I shook my head. "It's not like that. This world isn't what you think it is. I really want to see those friends again, in the original world!"

"I don't get what you're talking about." Haruki turned back towards me, scowling at me like a kid who just had every birthday gift snatched away from him. "Aren't you sick and tired of that boring world as well? There's nothing special in the normal world at all! Don't you want to experience something interesting as well?"

"I used to think like that."

The giant started moving. It kicked the remaining parts of the school complex and headed for the courtyard. On the way, it swiped at the school corridor with its arm and gave the clubs complex a huge kick.

I looked over Haruki's shoulder and was astonished to find other glowing red giants appearing. One, two, three......when I got to five, I decided to give up counting.

Without the blue glowing spheres to stop them, the glowing red giants now began their destruction of this grey world without delay. I don't get what's so interesting about all this destruction. Every time they moved their arms and legs, everything that they touched disappeared instantly.

In a moment, half the school had vanished.

I couldn't tell how large this Closed Space was, and I didn't know if this dimension would expand and become another world. At this moment, my mind was still full of uncertainty. If at this instant, an old drunkard sitting beside me in a train had said to me, "Let me tell you a secret that you can’t say to anyone else! I'm actually an alien," I would have believed him right away. The number of mysterious events I've experienced has now increased by infinity compared to a month ago.

What exactly could I do? If it were a month ago, maybe I wouldn't have thought of anything, but right now I knew what I had to do. I've already received so many hints.

Once I'd decided what to do, I said the following:

"Haruki, these last few days, I've experienced some very interesting things. Though you may not know it, there are all sorts of people who are really interested in you. It wouldn't be too far-fetched to say that the world literally revolves around you. Everyone believes you are a very special person, and they've tried to back up those beliefs with actions. You may not know it, but the world is headed in a very interesting direction."

I placed my hands on Haruki's chest and I could feel his heart rate double. He looked at me with an uncomfortable face that said, "What's gotten into you?"

And then, he turned away from me again, towards the rampaging red giants, with a serious expression on his face.

Looking at his handsome and lively face, I remembered Nagato's "evolution possibility", Asahina-senpai's "temporal distortion", and Itsuko treating Haruki as "God". But what is Haruki to me? What do I think about him?

Haruki is Haruki, what else can I say? I didn't intend to just answer like that though. Yet, I didn't have a definite answer. I knew it'd come to this, right? If you had pointed at the classmate behind me and asked, "What is he to you?" - how do you think I would answer? ...This, I'm sorry, I'm going in circles again! To me, Haruki's not just an ordinary classmate, and certainly not any "evolution possibility", "temporal distortion" or even "God".

The giant turned in our direction. Despite not having any eyes, I could still feel it looking right at us. It took a step towards us, which had to be a couple of meters at the least, with how quickly it shortened the distance between us even though it was walking so slowly.

I knew what I had to do. After all, Asahina-senpai and Nagato had both given me such obvious hints: the Frog Prince, and the Snow Queen. Please, there's no way I didn't know what the Frog Prince is supposed to mean! And in that context, I remembered how the brave girl had gotten her love back from the Snow Queen. The answer was right in front of me.

This sucks. Asahina-senpai, Nagato, how could you ask me to do such a thing? There's still my feelings to consider too, you know! That sort of thing is very important to a girl! Besides, even if I went through with it, there was no way Haruki would turn into a handsome prince just like that.

But it was probably the only way to escape the Snow Queen's palace. My rationality screamed out against it, but humans were never the sort to listen solely to reason, since we were full of what Nagato would call "noise" in our data. I planted myself firmly in front of Haruki, and looked him square in the eye.

"What is it now..."

"You know, you got it all mixed up in the clubroom."

"Huh?"

"I'm actually not into bookish type at all. I’d rather have a guy who can lift me up in his arms!

"What are you talking about?"

Seems like he doesn't get it. Well, there's an easy remedy for that.

I grabbed his necktie, and dragged him down to meet my lips.

It's more polite to close your eyes at times like this, so I closed mine. And so, I didn't know what expression Haruki had. Were his eyes open from the shock? Or did he close his eyes as well? I could feel his heartbeat again, pounding like a bongo drum. Slowly, I slid my arms up around his neck...

Suddenly, he wrapped me with his arms and pulled me in closer. And… was… was that your tongue I just felt?!

I could still hear the rumbling in the distance; it seemed the giant was still destroying the campus. Just as I was thinking that, I suddenly lost my balance and fell downwards. Everything felt like it was turning upside down. No matter what I did, I couldn't keep my balance. I fell to the cold, hard ground, and then... I opened my eyes and saw a very familiar ceiling.

I'm stunned.

I was in my room, and appeared to have fallen out of bed onto the floor. Of course, I was wearing my pajamas. Half of the messed-up blanket lay on the floor. My arms were clutching a pillow, which was covered in my saliva. I immediately threw it aside.

It was some time before I could think again.

In a half-dreamlike state, I slowly stood up, opened the window, and looked outside. I saw a few twinkling stars and the shining street lamps. I confirmed there were lights coming from other people's windows and occasional silhouettes moving behind them.

Was it a dream? Had I been dreaming all of this?

I had a dream where I fell into a surreal world with a guy I knew, and then ended up making out with him! A dream so simple to understand that even Sigmund Freud would cry, laughing.

Urgh, I just want to hang myself right away.

If it were with, say, Nagato, then I could have at least gotten some sort of well-detailed personality analysis from this dream. But no, I had to dream of myself kissing Haruki, of all people! What on earth was my subconscious thinking!?

And what on earth did the Frog Prince have to do with that?! If my memory's correct, the original fable had the princess cutting of the frog's head to bring him back to normal. Why couldn't I have cut off Haruki's great ugly head to restore the world? Why did I have to get the stupid kids' version?!

I sat wearily on the floor, my energy spent, and held my head, thinking that if it had all been a dream, why did it feel so real? The smell of Haruki's sweat, his quickening heartbeat, and the feel of his tongue in my mouth...

......Does this...does this mean that this is no longer the original world? Is this a brand new world created by Haruki? Is there a way for me to confirm this?

There isn't, no matter how hard I thought. Or rather, I never wanted to think about such a problem. If I had to admit that all of that was a dream because my brain was out of order, then I'd rather believe that the world had been destroyed.

I looked at my alarm clock. Two thirty in the morning.

...I'm going back to sleep.

I pulled my blanket over my head, asking my mind to give me some peaceful sleep.

----

I couldn't sleep, though that isn't the only reason I feel terrible this morning.

Right now, I'm so exhausted that I almost need to crawl in order to climb up the slope. This is killing me, to be honest. I'm just glad I didn't meet Taniguchi on the way, or I'd be forced to hear her go on and on. The sun continued to release the heat from its endless nuclear fusion. Mr. Sunshine, please, can't you take a break once in a while? I'm going to fry to death!

I need a shower. And a bath. Anything to get rid of the feeling from my dream last night, please. I had finally remembered the ribbon the older Asahina-senpai had given me, and randomly decided to tie my hair up again today, so that I could at least keep the hair out of my eyes and maybe stay awake. It didn't help.

Refusing to come when I needed it, the sleep demon now circled around my head when I least wanted it. If it keeps going on like this, I don't know how long I can remain conscious in the first class.

When I saw the school complex, I stopped and looked at the crummy old four story building. The sweaty students all crawled into the school buildings like a bunch of ants.

I dragged my feet up the stairs, and then into the familiar room of Class 1-5, stopping three steps from the window.

Haruki was there, grinning. "Yo, Kyon. I just wanna say that I’m sorry about yesterday. I overdid it a bit."

I placed my bag on the desk, and said “Whatever. It's over and done with, it really doesn't matter anymore.”

Haruki looked at me, actually concerned. “You feeling okay? You don't look so good.”

"I feel miserable!” I said, pouting. “I had a terrible nightmare last night."

“Really?” Haruki's grin quickly returned to his face. “I had the best dream ever.”

I glared at him and turned my face towards the window.

Haruki went quiet. I could feel his eyes studying me.

"Hey, Kyon," he said, after a few minutes pause.

"What?"

"You look great in that ponytail."

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter6|Chapter 6]]
| Forward to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Epilogue|Epilogue]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Chapter6

2009-06-13T17:16:48Z

Heatth:

I found another letter in my shoe locker today. What was it with letters in shoe lockers, anyway? Didn't anybody know how to use e-mail?

This letter felt different to the other one, though. For one thing, it wasn't just a scrap of folded paper without a name. It was in a plain white envelope, like one of those ones that they sell in 'business packs' in bookstores, and on it was written a single name.

''Asahina Mitsuuru.''

I shoved the envelope roughly into my bag and rushed to the girls' washroom to open it. The message was written on a plain white piece of paper, meandering a bit when it reached the end.

''I'll be waiting for you in the club room during lunch break.

- Asahina Mitsuuru''

After what happened yesterday, my notion of reality had changed dramatically. I never wanted to go through anything like that ever again.

And yet... there was no way I could turn this down. I couldn't imagine Asahina-senpai even ''thinking'' about doing anything improper to me, and even though I had no proof that this letter was indeed sent by him, I didn't doubt its authenticity. He seemed the sort to go through such indirect, old-fashioned means. The mental image of Asahina-senpai slowly writing every word down with great care, his face locked in concentration, made me smile. Besides, if we're meeting in the club room, then Nagato should be there as well, and he'd protect me if anything really happens.

----

During break, though, I began to have my doubts. What if Nagato wasn't there? What if it was’t Asahina-senpai after all? What if it's another alien like Asakura, out to murder me to 'provoke a reaction' in Haruki?

My hair was in my eyes, so I brushed it back, remembering why I kept it back in a ponytail in the first place. And as my hand touched the back of my head, I remembered why I was wearing my hair down at all.

For a moment, I felt like a ancient peasant farmer who had been dutifully stacking sod and straw, only to be surprised by a flash flood.

Just for a second, I was there again, in this very classroom. Unable to move. Hearing Asakura say: " I have always wondered what you would look like with your hair down…" Feeling the rush of air of the katana near my head, but unable to dodge. The brief tug at my hair.

And then, back in reality, something else tugged on my hair.

I was dimly aware of two things. The first was a voice saying: "What are you doing, spacing out and playing with your hair!?" The second was my hand suddenly on my bento box.

The next moment, I found myself standing upright, looking down at the desk behind mine. My heart was racing and I felt completely out of breath. Haruki was sitting there, blinking with surprise, a small trickle of blood running from his nose. My lunch was splattered all over him, and everyone else in the classroom was staring at me in shock.

W-wha? I... clocked you in the face with my lunch, Haruki? How did that happ-?

Taniguchi told me what happened later on. Why do I have to rely on such a questionable witness, though? Come on, brain, cough up the facts! What else are you hiding from me...?

At any rate, according to Taniguchi, Haruki had reached out and yanked - wasn't it just a tug? - on my hair while I was looking off into the distance. I screamed "really loudly", so Taniguchi assumed that he must've pulled too hard on my head. I didn't bother correcting her.

Some pressuring was needed to make Taniguchi reveal what it was that I had screamed, exactly. Apparently it was a simple "No". Next, she saw me "shoot" out of my chair and smack Haruki in the face with my lunchbox, "All in one movement". Come on, haven't we established that I'm not an action hero?

The next thing ''I'' remember, Okabe-sensei was dragging me to her office and I had to spend the rest of recess assuring her that I was just startled because Haruki disturbed me while I was nodding off. It was just a bad dream that I continued into wakefulness. Really!

Please don't make a bigger deal out of this than it already is, sensei! I'm going to have to apologize to that idiot, especially since they dragged him off to the guidance counselor’s office. He didn't even show up for next period, which was a mixed blessing: on the one hand, I felt embarrassed about the whole thing, but on the other hand, ''I'' was now the object of everyone's attention. Besides, his schoolbag was still there, so he hadn't been sent home.

Urgh. I felt mortified. And it all happened just because I couldn't find a tie for my damned hair.

Haruki didn't show up for the period after that, either.

----

When lunchtime finally rolled around, I was immediately surrounded by a gaggle of idiots, wanting to know what really happened during break. I suppose that’s better than being asked what I was doing with Nagato in the classroom yesterday.

I was surprised that Taniguchi hadn't spread the word about what she saw yesterday all over the school like the gossip she was. Maybe she wanted to get the story straight out of my mouth.

Yeah, like she'd believe the truth anyway. Seeing her coming over to me, I ducked out of the crowd surrounding me. Right now, being stabbed to death would be better than having to deal with airheaded gossips!

…Well, no, I don’t really mean that. Besides, without a lunch, there’s no real point in waiting around here.

I headed towards the clubroom.

------

It was only May, and already the sun was smothering us with overbearing warmth. When summer actually comes, Japan will be a natural sauna. I was already sweating just by taking a few steps.

When I arrived at the club room door, I knocked first.

"Please, come in."

The voice was unfamiliar, and I hesitated. Was that really Asahina-senpai in there? If I really strained my mind, I could make myself believe that I could hear a bit of Asahina-senpai in there, but it was too deep to be his normal voice. He sounded friendly enough, but Asakura was friendly yesterday too, just before he tried to kill me.

I steeled myself. Even if it was someone dangerous, Nagato would come and help me, right? He came last time without me calling for him. He’s dependable. He’ll save me no matter what.

I opened the door.

Nagato wasn't there.

The person sitting inside wasn't Asahina-senpai either, and I actually took a step backwards before stopping myself. He was sitting in my usual chair, leaning back, and looking up at the ceiling. He was wearing a loose white shirt and tight black business pants, plus the slippers made for school visitors. His long brown hair was tied into a ponytail down his back.

He wasn't Asahina-senpai, but he looked a lot like him. The Asahina-senpai I knew wasn't that tall, and he looked more like a cute little boy than this handsome guy in front of me now. This guy looked like he was in his twenties, and gave a completely different feel than the middle-schooler-like Asahina-senpai.

But he resembled Asahina-senpai too much to be a coincidence.

"It's been a long time, Onee-chan," the man said, grinning at me.

…Onee-chan?

I heard a whistle.

“Ah, the tea’s ready,” he said, getting up. “Sit down, make yourself comfortable.”

I hesitantly took a few steps into the room, still trying to figure out who this guy was.

“Want sugar? Or milk?” he asked, though he was putting plenty of milk in already.

It hit me. Could he be... "Are you, um, Asahina-senpai's... brother?"

He blinked in surprise, and then chuckled. His smile made him look even more like Asahina-senpai. "No, no, Onee-chan! It's me! I'm Asahina Mitsuuru, except that I come from further into the future. I've been waiting for a long time to meet you again."

I can't imagine the stupid expression on my face then. After what Asahina-senpai had told me in the park, I could accept that this person was himself from the future, and I took a few more steps into the clubroom to get a closer look at him. He had really grown handsome in the years to come, and he'd probably have a huge following of potential girlfriends, if he was still single.

"Oh, you don't believe me? Well then, I'll have to show you proof, right?" He began to unbutton his shirt.

Wait wait wait! I'm not ready for this! Aren't we moving a bit too quickly?

He revealed his chest to me without any trace of embarrassment. "Look, can you see this star-shaped birthmark? You can touch it if you want to."

There was indeed a star-shaped birthmark on that muscled chest. I shook my head slowly, feeling the heat on my face, my heart beating faster. I don't really remember if Asahina-sempai had a birthmark on his chest, even when I’d seen him changing outfits some time ago.

Wait, if this Asahina-senpai had grown so much, could it be that he had also grown in... what was I thinking? I shouldn't have such bad thoughts! Bad brain! Bad!

"Hm, that's strange," Asahina-senpai said, buttoning up his shirt again. "If you hadn't told me that I had this birthmark, I wouldn't have noticed it myself." His eyes grew wide. "Or could it be that I— t-this wasn't supposed to happen yet! We still haven't..." His flustered look made him seem just like the Asahina-senpai of this time. "Please forget what I just said!"

Easier said than done. I don't think I want to forget the sight of that chest, anyway.

…Bad brain!

"I'll believe you for now," I said. "Right now, after what happened yesterday, I'll believe anything."

The Asahina-senpai from some point in the future quickly regained his composure. "So do you really believe that I've come from the future to this temporal plane?"

"Of course. Wait, does that mean that there are now two Asahina-senpais in this time?"

"Right, Onee-chan. The me from the past is now sitting in his classroom, eating lunch with his friends."

What’s with the Onee-chan?

"Does he know that you're here?"

"No, he's from my past."

…I see.

"I had to tell you something, so I got permission from the higher-ups to let me come to this time. Also, I've asked Nagato-kun to leave us for now."

Nagato probably didn't even bat an eyelid when he saw this Asahina-senpai. "Do you know who Nagato-kun is?"

Asahina-senpai smiled. "Classified information," he said playfully. "Heh, I haven't said that in such a long time."

"Actually, I just heard you say that a few days ago."

"You're right." Asahina-senpai winked at me. Then he suddenly looked serious. "I can't stay here for too long, so I'll get right to the point. Have you heard of The Frog Prince?"

"Well, yeah."

"Whatever you'll face from now on, no matter how bad, I hope you'll remember that story."

"The Frog Prince, right? The one where the handsome prince is turned into a frog and the princess has to kiss him to change him back?"

"That's the one."

"I've already experienced something bad yesterday."

"This is worse than that. I can't tell you the details, but Suzumiya Haruki will be at your side."

Worse than yesterday? And Haruki? By my side? You mean we'll both be involved in something horrible? Did he start it?

"Suzumiya-kun won’t find anything wrong with it, but for the rest of us, it's a very complicated problem."

"You can't give me any details at all?"

"I'm sorry, I can only give you hints." Asahina-senpai looked so apologetic and serious. I could definitely imagine the younger Asahina-senpai looking like that.

"Like the story of The Frog Prince?"

"Yes."

"I'll remember it."

"Thank you." Asahina-senpai walked around the clubroom, and stopped before the clothes rack, looking at the maid outfit.

"Ah, I remember this.” He said, looking uncomfortable. “Well, I guess there’s no way I’d pass off as a girl while wearing it now, huh?”

That’s definitely true. "What sort of other stuff did Haruki make you wear?”

"I'm not telling," Asahina-senpai said shortly, but with a smile on his face. "It's really embarrassing. Though, it was kinda fun…."

He had a sort of sad, distant look in his eyes when he said that.

"So then, Onee-chan." Asahina-senpai walked towards me, and placed his hands on my shoulders. He seemed to be looking for something to say. "I'll… be going now, then."

Seeing him so hesitant, I thought that maybe I should give him a hug. However, just as I was about to embrace him, he backed off.

"I have one more request to make," Asahina-senpai said. "Please don't get too close to me." He put his hand on the doorknob.

“Ah!” He exclaimed. “That’s right. I have this to give to you.”

From his pocket, he pulled out a yellow ribbon.

Seeing my confused look, he explained. “For your hair. Looks like you need it, anyway.”

“T-thanks.” I said, grateful. I guess there’s no need go buy hair ties now.

“Oh, don’t thank me,” he smiled. “Thank yourself. You were the one who gave that to me.”

“What?”

He grinned again, reminding me a little of Haruki. “Drink your tea, it’s getting cold.”

He turned to leave.

"I-I have one more question for you!" I blurted out. Asahina-senpai stopped, and looked at me questioningly. "A-are you seeing anybody right now?”

"That," he said, putting his finger to his lips and grinning wider than ever, "is classified information."

----

Just like that, the door closed behind him. I couldn't have done anything even if I had tried.

Wow. I can’t even believe how good-looking Asahina-senpai became when he grew up. I suddenly thought of the first thing he said to me. ‘It's been a long time, Onee-chan.’ Obviously, it’s been quite some time since he last saw me.

The future Asahina-senpai must have returned to his distant future, and then spent a few years there, before reuniting with me on this “time plane” again.

So how long has it been for him? He’s grown a lot… maybe five years? Of course, it could be less. Some guys go through huge growth spurts after they graduate. My cousin was like that. When he was in high school, he had always been this short, weak, studious kid. Then when he entered university, he grew nearly a foot and became the object of about a hundred girls’ affections.

Because of all this, though, I’m confused as to what his real age is. Is he really 17?

…I’m hungry. I think I’ll go back to the classroom and see if I can get Kunikida to share some of her lunch with me. She always brings too much anyway.

But as I opened the door…

"..."

Standing there was Nagato Yuuki, who was wearing his usual well-preserved cold face, but as he wasn't wearing glasses today, he stared at me with a naked glare.

"Oh! Hi, Nagato-kun! Did you just see someone who looked like Asahina-senpai passing by?" I asked, half-jokingly.

"I had seen Asahina Mitsuuru's differential temporal clone already this morning."

Nagato silently sat down in his seat and then placed his book on the desk and opened it.

"He is no longer here, and has departed from this timeframe."

"Can you travel through time as well? With that Data Entity thingy?"

"I cannot. However, temporal movement is not as difficult as one would think; it is just that humans have yet to grasp its basic principles. Time is like space; moving through it is very simple."

"Then could you teach me?"

"That is a concept that cannot be conveyed in speech, so you would not understand even if I explained it."

"That so?"

"Yes."

"I guess that's too bad, huh?"

"Too bad."

It was pointless trying to talk to such a wooden person, so I decided to go back to the classroom. I hope still have time to eat something…

"Nagato-kun, thanks for yesterday."

His wooden expression moved slightly.

"There is no need to thank me. Asakura Ryou's actions were my responsibility. I was careless with my supervision."

His hair parting swung softly.

Was he trying to bow and apologize to me?

"You know, you definitely do look cooler without your glasses."

He didn't reply at all. The tea Asahina-senpai had brewed for me was still on the table, so I picked it up and had a sip.

Blech! Too much milk…

----

As I was rushing back to the classroom to scrounge up some lunch, I ran smack dab into Haruki. Could this be fate? It seems I've reached the point where I can see through all karma.

I remember what I did to his face during break.

"Listen, I -" I started to say, but he cut me off. Have some manners, you lout! Let a girl apologize when she feels she has to.

"Try not to space out in class," he told me in a superior tone of voice. Your nosebleed's stopped, I see. And you managed to get the egg out of your shirt. "You act even more stupid than usual when you're sleepy, it seems."

So, it seems your feelings weren't hurt, as you're still capable of spouting nonsense.

"Anyways, where did you run off to? I thought you'd be back sooner. I didn’t even eat lunch because I was waiting for you!"

Good, you can share some with me. It’s your fault I don’t have any, in any case.

"Don't just stand there like an idiot! Follow me!"

Haruki, in his usual fashion, picked me up off the ground and carried me towards the dark staircase.

Oh, no… put me down and let me go eat! I’m hungry!

"After I finally got out of the counsellor’s office, I went to ask Okabe in the staff room. The teachers only learned about Asakura transferring this morning. Early in the morning, someone claiming to be Asakura's mom called, saying they had to move due to some emergency. And you know where they're moving? Canada! How can this be possible? Why the hell would anyone move to Canada? There’s something going on here, I know it!"

"Really now?" I said, trying to fill my response to the brim with sarcasm. Of course, it’s wasted on Haruki.

"After that, I said I was a good friend of Asakura’s and wanted to ask the teachers if how could contact him."

Oh please. I don’t think you ever spoke more than a few words at a time to him when he was still around.

"And you know what the teachers said? They say they didn't know. Normally, if someone were to move, wouldn't they usually leave some sort of contact information? I’m telling you, there’s something weird going on here!"

"No, there isn't!"

Haruki just steamrolled over me as usual. "So I asked for Asakura's old address from before he moved. I'm gonna go there and have a look after school. Maybe we can find something there."

Forget it. I'm not going to stop him. In the end, the one wasting his time is Haruki, not me or anyone else.

"You're coming too."

"What!? Why!?"

Haruki puffed up his shoulders, and then, like a dragon huffing and puffing before firing its breath, he shouted at a volume the whole school could hear.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SOS BRIGADE!!!"

I retreated frantically, complying with Haruki’s unreasonable orders. I went to the clubroom to tell Nagato that neither Haruki nor I would be showing up for club activities today. I also instructed Nagato to relay the message to Asahina-senpai and Itsuko as soon as they arrived, but I didn't know if the silent alien would even say anything, so, just to be safe, I took a felt pen and wrote on the back of one of the SOS Brigade flyers.

"There are no activities today for the SOS Brigade. - Haruki".

I don’t suppose it will matter in the least to Itsuko, but at least I can save Asahina-senpai from having to wear his maid outfit.

The bell for fifth session rang as I finished writing and pasted the note to the clubroom door. Because of this, I was forced to run all the way to class.

----

If I said I never wanted a guy to walk me home from school like on TV dramas, I’d be lying. But now that this dream has become a reality, I’m far from happy. For obvious reasons, of course.

"Did you just say something?" Haruki asked while walking on my left side, striding with large steps, carrying a piece of notepaper. I automatically interpreted his question as ‘You got a problem?’

"Nope, nothing at all."

We walked down the hill and followed the railway line. A little bit further on would be Koyouen Station.

Just as I was thinking that we must be near Nagato’s place, we arrived there. I’d never have guessed that this was where Haruki was heading.

"Asakura seems to live in Room 505." Haruki said.

"No wonder."

"What do you mean 'no wonder'?" He glanced sideways at me.

"No, nothing. Oh yeah, how do you expect to go in? Look, even the gate is locked." I said as I pointed to the keypad by the intercom. "You need to enter the correct code to open the door. Do even you know it?"

"Nope! Fortunately, I have a plan. We might just have to wait a while, though."

Waiting? What are we waiting for? As it turned out, we didn’t end up waiting long. At that moment, a middle-aged man in a business suit opened the gate from inside, looking like he was just about to go into the office. He looked at us for a while with a questioning glance and then walked off.

Just as the gate was closing, Haruki rushed forward and put his foot in between it to stop it from opening.

Good idea, but that’s trespassing.

"Hey! Hurry up!” Haruki yelled at me and pulled my hand. Like that, I was dragged into the entrance hall. The first thing I noticed wasn't the chique decor, but the loud music. Why is someone playing foreign music so loudly in a semi-public space, and if they must play music, why Cher? Ignoring this assault to my ears, Haruki dragged me into the elevator, which had stopped at the ground floor. It’s just simple manners to stare silently at the floor numbers when riding an elevator, but…

^ Don’t know about this… I mean I’ve never heard of such manners when you’re in an elevator with friends, so it might just be me, but it seems weird.

"That Asakura..."

Simple manners are wasted on someone like Haruki.

"It’s not just this transfer that’s fishy. He didn’t attend a local junior high either."

Well, that’s to be expected, really.

"I’ve done my research, see. He supposedly transferred to North High from another town. It’s just too suspicious. North High isn't some famous school or anything, just a normal local high school. Why would he go through so much effort to come from another town just to attend our school?"

I shrugged. I’ll just let Haruki go on with his rant for now.

"Yet she lives near the school, and it's one of those apartments paid by cash and not by rent. The price here must be insanely expensive. Could he have been going from here to his junior high on the train for the past three years?”

"I told you I don't know." Why are you asking me?

"I guess we need to find out when Asakura started living here, then."

The elevator stopped at the fifth floor. We got off and found Asakura’s apartment.

Room 505.

For a few minutes, we just silently stood and looked at the door. The name board by the door had been removed, indicating this was an empty apartment.

Looking at this door brings back memories of that battle in Class 1-5. Asakura’s last words echo in my mind.

''You'd better be careful, though. I’m not the only one with a dissenting opinion.

And who knows, even those who control Nagato-san might change their thinking and decide to kill you instead.''

Asakura may be gone, but that doesn’t mean I’m safe. One of her friends might decide to assassinate me as I sleep. Even Nagato, who saved me…

I shivered involuntarily, which, unfortunately, Haruki noticed.

“You okay?” He asked, looking at me strangely.

I lied. “I’m fine. Don’t you feel that draft?”

“…Weirdo.” Haruki tried to turn the doorknob, but as expected, it’s locked.

Haruki stood with his arms crossed, trying to figure out how to get inside the apartment to investigate, while I tried to figure out why I was here wasting my time in the first place.

“Ah!” Haruki snapped his fingers "Let's find the caretaker!"

"I don't think she'll lend us the key."

"No, I'm thinking of asking her when Asakura started living here."

I sighed. "Just forget it, Haruki! What can we do even if we did know? Can’t we just go home?”

"No." With that short, simple answer, Haruki pulled my arm again.

We took the elevator and returned to the ground floor, and went to the caretaker's post at the entrance hall. That music was as loud as ever, and even got louder the closer we got to the post. Soon enough, I spotted a radio behind the glass, and… something weird. At first, I thought some kind of malformed sweater or stuffed pet had been left in the caretaker’s seat. When we pushed the buzzer, however, it turned out to be a freakishly high, curly black wig on top of a little old lady in a dress much too colorful for her, who slowly rose like a vengeful ghost.

It wasn’t something I wanted to see on a daily basis. I don’t know how she was keeping her job.

She blinked owlishly and scrabbled at her desk, eventually taking out a pair of butterfly glasses. Haruki then began to bombard the old woman with questions before she could even speak.

"Excuse me, we're friends of Asakura-san. He suddenly said he was moving without even leaving his new address, and we don't know how to contact him. Could we please ask if you know where he moved to? And, could we please know when Asakura-san started living here?"

I was amazed at how Haruki can actually use such normal, polite language, but the old lady seemed to be hard of hearing as well as half-blind. She kept replying with, "What?", "Come again?", and so on. Though I should say it was either that she was hard of hearing, or her attention was wandering; she was all smiles with her eyes firmly on Haruki. Hey, grandma! What’s with that twinkle in your eye?

Despite that, Haruki still managed to learn from the old lady that she too was surprised at Asakura suddenly moving out. (I didn't even see the movers come, yet all the furniture inside was gone. It still gives me the creeps.) He also learned that Asakura had moved in three years ago. (I remember the handsome young lad giving me a box of treats that day!) Also, instead of paying in installments, the apartment had been paid for in one single down payment in cash. (I guess they must be very rich!)

I’m impressed, Haruki! You could be a detective at this rate!

The old lady seemed rather pleased to be talking to a good-looking guy like Haruki.

^ Previous iteration didn’t make much sense and was kind of repeating earlier creepiness from old lady.

"Come to think of it, although I've often seen that handsome young boy, I don't recall ever seeing his parents. I remember the fine young man's called Ryou. Such a nice name. I was hoping he would at least come and say goodbye... it's such a pity. I forget how many times I invited him over for tea and a chat. But y’know, you're not bad yourself!”

When the old lady began to talk about stuff like that, moving a little closer to the window to get a better look at him, Haruki determined he could no longer extract any more information from her. He bowed to the old caretaker politely and said, "Thank you very much for your help."

He then motioned for me to leave. I didn’t need any urging at all, since I was eager to get far, far away from this apartment building. I hope I would never have to come back here again.

"Hey, little lady!" the caretaker called to me only loud enough for me to hear. “That boy’s a looker,” she whispered, “he’ll grow up to be a nice man. If I was just my granddaughter’s age, I’d go for him in a heartbeat, so don’t let him get away! Tame him, and you’ll be set for life.”

^ Previous iteration was Ew. Old People Dirty Talk is no good.

The old woman was obviously senile. What I was worried about was what sort of terrible reaction Haruki, who might have overheard all that, would have. Yet he silently continued moving forward, and so I remained silent as well and followed him out of the building.

A few steps from the gates, we bumped into Nagato, carrying his schoolbag and some plastic grocery bags. For Nagato, who would usually be in the clubroom reading until the school closed, to be here at this time would mean that he had left soon after we did.

"Ah!” Haruki said, surprised. “You live here too? That’s a coincidence!”

Nagato nodded his pale white face. Please, how can this be a coincidence?

"Have you heard anything about Asakura?" Haruki asked.

Nagato shook his head.

"I see. Right, well if you hear anything about Asakura, let me know, okay?"

He nodded his head. Are those the only responses you’re capable of!?

I noticed some food cans and vegetables inside his grocery bags. I guess he does need to eat after all.

Haruki had noticed one thing that was different about Nagato today. "What happened to your glasses?"

Nagato didn't directly answer the question but only silently looked at me. I panicked a bit being stared at by him like that, while Haruki, not expecting him to answer at all, simply shrugged his shoulders and walked off without looking back. I lifted my arm and waved goodbye to Nagato.
As we walked past, Nagato whispered, "Be careful."

Be careful?! Of what? But as I was about to turn around and ask him, he had already vanished into his apartment building.

Geez… You’re going to make me paranoid!

----

I followed Haruki, who was walking aimlessly along the railway line, always remaining two to three steps behind him. Walking this way would lead me further and further from home, so I asked where we were going.

"Nowhere.” he replied dully.

“Then can I please go home now?” I asked as I looked up at the back of Haruki’s head.

At that point, Haruki stopped dead, and I walked straight into his back.

He turned and looked at me with a gloomy look, his face as pale white as Nagato’s.

"Do you ever get the feeling you're just an insignificant speck on the face of the planet?”

Without waiting for my answer, he continued. "I have, and I'll never forget it."

Haruki stood by the railway tracks and began to talk.

"When I was in sixth grade, I went with my family to see a baseball game. I wasn't really interested in baseball. But when I went there, I was shocked. Everywhere I looked there were people all around, everywhere. The people at the opposite end of the stadium looked like grains of rice, all of them in constant motion. Back then, I thought that everyone in Japan had gathered to watch that game. So, I asked my mom how many people were at the stadium. She said as it was full that day, there were about fifty thousand people.

"After the game, the roads were packed with those people. Seeing all of this, I was completely stunned. There were so many people here, yet they were only a tiny fraction of the whole country. I had read in geography class that Japan had a population of a hundred million, so I went home and did the math. I found out that fifty thousand was only one out of two thousand of the total population. I was stunned again. I was only a small part of so many people in the stadium, and that many people again were only a small part of the whole country.

"Before that day, I had always thought that I was special. I was happy with my family, and I felt that the world’s most interesting people were in my class. Slowly, I began to realize the truth. The things that I experienced in school that I had thought were the happiest, most wonderful things in the world, happened in every school. For the whole country, the whole planet, they were just everyday occurrences. The whole world around me started to lose its color. I brush my teeth and go to sleep, then wake up and have breakfast. It’s the same, day after day, after boring day.

"My life became boring when I realized everything I did was just a part of everybody’s ordinary life. Since there are so many people in this world, there has to be someone who's living an extraordinary, exciting life. Someone out there has to be fighting aliens, rescuing princesses, and slaying giants. Why couldn't that be me?

" I thought all about it before I graduated from elementary school. When I entered junior high, I decided to change myself. I'd show the whole world that I'm not someone who’s content to just sit and wait. But even after I’ve tried my best… everything is still the same. And now I'm in high school, still hoping for something to change. But, at this rate, it’s never going to. Never."

Haruki said all this without pause. When he finished, his face twisted into an expression of regretting saying so much, and just stared at the ground in silence.

A train passed rapidly by us. Thanks to the rumbling noise, I had time to consider what I should do next. Should I come up with something philosophical and inspiring? Should I say something to make him laugh?

However, as I watched the train leave behind its Doppler Effect sound, all I could muster was an “Is that so?” I feel really bad at only coming up with such a simple, useless reply. What am I supposed to do, though? Hug him?

Haruki turned around declared, “Let’s go!”

He strode back the way we came. Though I could reach home faster if I went after him, I somehow got the feeling he didn’t want me to follow. I stayed where I was and watched Haruki walk off until he disappeared from my sight.

Just what the hell have I been doing all this time?

When I came home, I found Itsuko waiting by my front door.

"Hi!" Her smile was the sort of smile you would usually use to greet an old friend, but it was still as fake as ever.

"I want to keep the promise I made to you earlier. That’s why I've been waiting for you here, but I never thought you would return so quickly!" She said heartily.

She was still wearing her uniform and carrying her bag, apparently she just left the school.

Itsuko continued with her ever-present smile. "Do you have a moment? I'd like to take you to see a certain place."

"Something to do with Suzumiya?" I asked.

Itsuko’s smile grew wider. "Something like that."

I opened my door and placed my bag in the hall. After telling my brother, who had just appeared, that I was going somewhere again tonight, (“With a guy again?” “Shut up.”) I went back outside to Itsuko.

A few minutes later, we went for a ride.

----

Itsuko flagged down a taxi that had stopped near my place, and we rode off along the main road, heading eastwards. Itsuko told the driver to go to a large city outside the prefecture. It’d be cheaper to go by train, but since Itsuko was the one paying, it didn’t matter to me.

"Right,” I began, “What was the promise you said you were going to keep?"

"You don’t remember? Weren’t you the one who wanted to see proof of my esper powers? Well, now’s your chance!" Itsuko said cheerfully.

"Do we really have to travel this far?"

"Yes. I can only use my powers under specific places and conditions. The place we're headed to fits those conditions."

"So, you still believe Haruki is God?"

Itsuko, sitting together with me in the back seat, glanced sideways at me. "Have you ever heard of the Anthropic Principle?"

"Nope."

Itsuko sighed and smiled again, "Basically, it's a theory that states 'If something must be true for us, as humans, to exist, then it is true simply because we exist.'"

Huh? I don't get it.

"The universe exists simply because it is there for us to observe. In other words, the intelligent lifeforms known as humans learned of the existence of the universe through observing how the universe was formed by the discovery of the laws of physics. If humans had not evolved to their present level, then observation would be impossible, and they would never learn of the existence of the universe.

“This means whether the universe exists or not, for a human who hasn't completely evolved, it wouldn't make much of a difference. It is because of the presence of us fully-evolved humans that the existence of the universe is widely accepted. This is the method of thinking from the humans' point of view."

"…That’s an stupid way of thinking. The universe exists regardless of whether humans exist or not!" I retorted.

"You're right, and that's why the Anthropic Principle is not completely scientific, just a philosophical concept. However, from this theory, something interesting comes into view."

The taxi stopped at a red light. The driver just kept staring at the road, never bothering to turn around and look at us.

"Why did the universe come to be in a state suitable for human habitation? A minor change in the gravitational constant would mean a completely different universe from the one we're in. Other sets of rules such as Planck's Constant or the mass ratio of atomic molecules seem to be designed specifically so that humans can live in this universe. Don't you find this incredible?"

My head hurts. The stuff Itsuko said sounds like one of the rhetorical flyers given out by those newly formed religions whose founding principles are based on scientific theories.

"Relax! I don't believe in the existence of an ‘Almighty God’, or the ‘Ultimate Creator’ that breathed life into the first human. And many of my companions share this sentiment. Yet, there's one thing that bothers us."

Which would be?

"Are all the things that we do as foolish as a clown doing a handstand by the edge of a cliff?"

The expression on my face right now must have been very strange, or Itsuko wouldn't have laughed as loud as she did.

"Ah-hohohoho! I was kidding, kidding!"

H-hey, you… "I really don’t know what the hell you’re talking about…"

What I really want to say is, I don't have time to play some stupid jokes with you. Can you let me off? Or driver, do you mind turning around? If possible, I'd prefer the latter.

"I was just using the Anthropic Principle as a comparison. We still haven't touched on the subject of Suzumiya-san."

This is just too weird! Why are you, Nagato and Asahina-sempai all so infatuated with Haruki?

"Well, I think that he’s very charming and charismatic, but let’s leave that aside for now. Do you still remember me saying that this world had probably been created by Suzumiya-san?"

I didn’t like what she was saying, but I did remember it having come up..

"He has the ability to realize dreams." Itsuko said.

Can you not be so conclusive for once?

"I can’t, because it’s true. Right now, this world is being guided by Suzumiya-san's wishes."

…How, exactly, is that possible?
"Suzumiya-san has always believed aliens existed, which is why Nagato Yuuki appeared. Similarly, he wanted to meet time travelers, so Asahina Mitsuuru appeared as well. And I appeared before him for the same reasons as well."

Didn’t he have marriage plans in there somewhere…?

"And how do you know that?" I asked.

"It was three years ago..." Itsuko began.

Three years ago again! I'm sick of hearing that already! Why is it always three years ago?

"One day, I suddenly realized I possessed a certain power, and for some reason, I fully understood how to use this power. At the same time, I also discovered others like me had also gained certain powers, and that these powers were granted by Suzumiya Haruki. I can't go into the details. All I can say is that I know these things while not being able to explain them."

"Alright, look. Even if I believe you have these powers, I still can't believe Haruki can have the power to warp reality."

"Neither could I. A mere schoolboy having the ability to change the world -- sorry, I guess it should be more like the ability to create worlds, huh? The scary thing, though, is that this boy now finds the world he's in to be boring."

"Why is that scary?"

"Didn't I say tell you? If he can create worlds at will, then naturally he can make this world disappear without a trace and then restructure it according to his wishes. Then, in a literal sense, the world will have come to an end. We can't determine whether this theory is correct or not; who knows, the world which we believe to be unique has probably been recreated many times before already."

The number of times I have used the word “unbelievable” in the past 10 minutes only proves that I need a thesaurus.

"If that's really the case, why don't you just tell Haruki who you really are? Let him know that espers really do exist. I bet he’d be really happy to hear that.” He’d probably ask you to marry him. “Maybe then, he wouldn't want to try and destroy the world!"

"That would pose an even greater problem. If Suzumiya-san believed the existence of espers to be a very normal thing, then it would become a very normal thing. All the laws of physics would be distorted-- the Molecular Constant, the Second Law of Thermodynamics, and the rest of the universe would all descend into chaos."
"There's something I don't understand." I said, "I remember you saying it was Haruki's longing to marrymeet aliens, time travelers and espers that caused you, Nagato-kun, and Asahina-sempai to appear before her?"

"Yes,” she replied.

"Well, then why hasn't Haruki noticed anything yet? Isn’t it a little strange that it’s just you and me who know everything instead?"

"You find it inconsistent? It isn’t, really-- the real inconsistency is within Suzumiya-san's heart."

…Could you say something I can understand for once, please!?

As I was about to respond with some sharp retort, the driver said suddenly, "We're here."

The car came to a stop and the door opened. I stepped into the crowded street with Itsuko. When the driver drove off without even charging any fare, I wasn't at all surprised.

If people in this area wanted to go shopping, this would be the place for them to do so. This is the typical local metropolis with the railway interchange, as well as all sorts of department stores and complex architecture. The sunset bathed the bustling street full of pedestrians a glowing orange. When the lights at the intersection ahead turned green, the road became occupied by a sea of people in an instant. We were separated for a while by this wave after we got off by the sidewalk.

"So what were you saying?" I asked, as I caught up to Itsuko.

We headed towards a nearby shopping centre as she talked. "Ah, yes, Suzumiya-san’s inconsistent heart. He does hope for the existence of aliens, time travelers, and espers. His common sense, however, is telling him that these things don't exist, and this creates cognitive dissonance. Though he may be eccentric in his actions and speech, his thinking is still no different from an ordinary person. His stormy enthusiasm has slowly calmed down in the last few months. We were glad to finally see him stabilize, but a tornado-like change has suddenly occurred."

“What change?"

"It's all because of you." As we passed through the doors of the shopping centre, Itsuko stopped walking and turned towards me. "If you hadn't given Suzumiya-san certain… funny ideas, we would still be observing him from behind the scenes right now."

"What!? What did I do!?” I had nothing to do with anything! It’s all Haruki’s fault anyways!

"It was you who encouraged him to form that weird club. All because of a conversation he had with you, he came up with the idea of forming a club to gather us all together. Therefore, you must carry full responsibility for all of this. It is because of you that the three groups most concerned with Suzumiya Haruki have now gathered in the same place."

Oh. That. “T-that’s not fair!" I still decided to defend myself unconvincingly
.
Itsuko only smiled and continued, "But that's not the only reason…”

“Hey,” Itsuko suddenly broke out into a grin as she caught something in the corner of her eye. “That dress…” She pointed at a flowing yellow one, up at some clothing store’s display case. “It’d look really good on you, wouldn’t it?” She turned back to me, smiling wider than ever. “Want to go and try it on?”

I put my palm against my face and sighed. “…Wasn’t there something you wanted to show me?” I asked, exasperated.

At my response, Itsuko looked a bit sheepish. “Ah, yes, that. But after we finish, we’ll come back to try it on, okay?”

“…Fine.”

^ Original seemed WAY out of place and definitely a bit random.

As we walked towards an open area in the middle of the shopping centre, Itsuko looked at me and said, "There's still time for you to change your mind, you know. It’d probably be simpler just to go back and try on the dress."

"Shut up about the dress. I'm already here anyway, so let’s cut to the chase."

Walking beside me, Itsuko suddenly grabbed hold of my hand. Hey, what do think you're doing!?

"Sorry, but could you please close your eyes for a while? This won't take very long.”

What won’t take long? Hey! I dodged to avoid a consumer from bumping into me.

Fine, fine. I obligingly closed my eyes. I could still hear the many footsteps of the shoppers, the endless chatting, the dull roar from the cars outside, and all sorts of noises.

Under Itsuko's guidance, I walked ahead one step, two steps, three steps, and then I stopped.

"You can open them now."

I slowly opened my eyes.

The whole world fell into a shade of grey.

All the bright colors in the store windows were gone and on the neon signs advertising fifty percent off sales had turned dull grey The lights on the ceiling had gone out, stranding Itsuko and me in near-darkness.

There were no people at all.

Besides Koizumi and I, the bustling crowd of evening shoppers that was here before had now vanished without a trace. The ever-present hum of machinery that fills the background noise in cities was gone. It was so quiet that you might wonder if the Earth had stopped spinning as well.

"We're now in a gap within a cross-dimensional faultline; this is Closed Space, a place that is completely cut off from the world we live in."

Itsuko's voice became particularly clear in the silence.

"The centre of this courtyard falls right by the ‘Wall’ of this Closed Space. Look, just like that."

Itsuko's outstretched arm stopped in midair, as though blocked by something. I tried to do the same and stretched my arm towards that direction; it felt like touching cold, washed vegetables. My hands pushed through the surface of an elastic invisible wall, but I couldn’t extend any further beyond ten centimeters.

"This Closed Space has a radius of five kilometers. Usually, it's impossible to enter using normal physical means. However I have a certain ability that allows us to enter."

"Where is this place?" I asked. Wait, no, the question ought to be more like “What dimension is this?”

"I'll explain as we move along,." said Koizumi casually. “We should go outside, where you can really see the true extent of this place.”

As we headed out through the back entrance, I couldn't help but lift my head towards the sky. The glowing orange sun was nowhere to be seen, and the sky was covered by gloomy grey clouds. Were those really clouds? The flawless dark horizon stretched endlessly ahead in every direction. The only thing that stopped this world from falling completely into darkness was a weak glow in the sky that had replaced the bright sun.

This place… it’s creepy.

"I'm not too sure about the details, but this is a dimension located not far from ours... Let's put it this way, a cross-dimensional faultline just appeared right over there, and we have entered through the gap. At this moment, the outside world is still going on with its everyday life. It's nearly impossible for normal humans to stumble upon this world by accident." She continued to talk as we crossed the street, heading towards an apartment complex. "Imagine an inverted bowl-like, egg-shaped dimension, and this place is its interior."

We entered the multi-story apartment complex, but not a single person could be seen, not even a speck of dust.

"Closed Space occurs randomly. Sometimes it appears once every other day, and sometimes it appears once every several months. Yet, one thing's for sure..."

We climbed up the stairs, although it was dark inside. If I hadn't been following Itsuko closely, I would've tripped.

"Whenever Suzumiya-san is in a mentally unstable condition, this space will appear."

We arrived at the rooftop of the apartment block.

"Once Closed Space appears, I will be able to sense it. So too can my companions. How do we know, you ask?”

I didn’t ask.

“Frankly, even we don't know how. In any case, we just know when and where Closed Space will appear, and how to penetrate it. I can't describe this feeling in words."

I held the rooftop fence and looked towards the sky; no breeze could be felt.

"So you brought me here just to see this? There's not even anybody here!" Can I go home now?

^ I think it would be better to not mention the dress at all in this crazy esper scene. It distracts and right now I can’t figure out a way to naturally fit the reference to it.

"No, the real fun will begin soon. It's about to start."

Quit joking around! Itsuko, however, pretended not to notice my sour expression.

"My abilities are based around detecting Closed Space and penetrating it, but that’s not all they can do. I can even sense Suzumiya-san's state of mind. This space is a representation of Suzumiya-san's emotional state and my comrades and I are in charge of maintaining it. I guess you could say that when Suzumiya-san’s mind gets to the point where it becomes indigested, I’m the medicine sent in to cure it."

"…Your metaphors are a little hard to understand."

"People often tell me that. Anyway, are you feeling all right? I guess it’s to be expected, but you seem a bit freaked out by this place."

“It’s nothing, nothing…” It’s just that… this place reminds me a little of the space Asakura created a few days ago. Gah, I've had enough of these crazy experiences already!

Suddenly, Itsuko lifted her head and looked in the opposite direction I was facing..

"Seems like it's begun.” She said, suddenly serious. “Turn around and look behind you."

I saw it.

Standing between the tall buildings in the distance was a glowing red giant.

It was taller than a 30-story building by a head's length. Its slim, deep crimson-shaded figure seemed to contain some sort of material that allowed it to glow from within. Since it was too dark, I couldn’t see its outline clearly, and besides the eyes and mouth, which seemed to be an even darker red, its face didn't seem to have any other features.

What… what on earth is that?

The giant slowly lifted its arm and then swung it down like an axe, and the building beside it was smashed in half; then, as if in slow motion, the concrete, wires, and debris made a deafening noise falling to the ground.

Itsuko was talking again, but I could barely hear her over the destruction "We believe these to be the manifestation of Suzumiya-san's frustration. Every time his inner conflict reaches a certain limit, these giants will appear and destroy everything around them to relieve pressure. We cannot allow these things to have their way in our reality, or they'll cause widespread death and destruction. That is why this Sealed Reality is created, so that they can wreak their havoc inside. You understand?"

Every time the glowing red giant waved its arms, the buildings would be sliced in half and collapse. The giant would then continue forwards, stepping on the debris.

Surprisingly, I could only hear the sound of the buildings collapsing, but not the footsteps of the giant.

"According to the laws of physics, it should be impossible for a giant like him to be able to stand, due to his weight. Yet he is able to move around freely in a weightless condition. Though destroying a building involves a change in molecular structure, these rules don't seem to apply to him. Not even an army would be able to stop one of these giants."

"So… we can’t do anything?"

"No, and that is why I exist. Please look closely."

Itsuko pointed towards the giant. And I looked again to notice a few glowing blue dots that had just appeared and were flying around the giant. Compared to the large red giant, the blue dots were like sesame seeds. There were five of them in total, but because they were flying so fast, my eyes couldn't catch up with them. Like satellites, the blue dots orbited around the giant as though trying to stop the giant from moving further ahead.

"Those are my companions, who, like me, have obtained their powers from Suzumiya-san. We are warriors in charge of hunting down these giants."

The giant made a lazy swing to swat away the tiny blue pests, but they skillfully dodged the giant's attacks and swiftly changed their flight path. They came around a second time and attacked the giant's body. The giant, however, seemed to be made of gas, since the blue dots simply flew through it.

The giant, after deciding that it was too troublesome to fight, simply ignored the blue dots and their attacks and raised its arm again to smash another department store building.

No matter how the blue dots attacked, the giant didn't seem to be stopping. Blue laser-like beams now penetrated the giant's body non-stop, but since I was too far away, I couldn’t figure out the extent of damage it had sustained. One thing was for certain: the blue beams didn't create any holes in the giant's body.

"Right, I think now would be an excellent time for me to join them."

Itsuko's body started to glow blue, and a blast of force erupted from her which drove me a few steps back and caused her clothes to flutter. As she started to glow blue, Itsuko briefly turned to look at me and smiled a little strangely.

"How embarrassing, I think my skirt went up for a moment," she said with a small giggle, “You didn’t see anything, did you?”

Who would be looking up your skirt at a time like this?!

Soon, her glowing body was covered in a blue glowing sphere. Standing before me was no longer a human girl, but a large glowing ball.

This is getting ridiculous. I may need a thesaurus again at this rate.

As if making a signal, the glowing sphere started to rise and then flew straight towards the giant at an incredible speed.

Since the blue spheres never stopped flying, I couldn't figure out how many there were in total, but I don’t think there could have been more than ten, including Itsuko. They bravely flew towards the giant's body, but all they could do was fly through it. The giant was barely, if even, hurt. But just as I was thinking that, one of the blue spheres suddenly approached the giant's wrist and circled it.

The next moment, the giant's hand was sliced off. The masterless hand fell towards the ground and gave out a mosaic glow, started to become transparent, and then disintegrated like snow melting under the sun. I guess the red smoke coming out of the giant's severed wrist must have been its blood. This really is the stuff of fiction.

The blue dots seemed to have changed their attacking style of charging towards the giant. They approached the giant like a bunch of fleas surrounding a dog. The blue beams sliced through the giant's face, and its head came falling down; after that, its shoulder fell as well, followed by its upper torso, leaving behind a strange shape. The falling bits began to give out the characteristic mosaic glow, then disintegrated and vanished.

As the giant was standing in a large piece of land without any obstacles around, I was able to see the whole process from beginning to end. When the giant's upper torso fell off, its remaining body also began to disintegrate, finally dissolving into beads smaller than dust and spreading over the debris.

Once the blue dots floating above made sure their work was done, they started flying off in all directions. Most of them disappeared at once; only one flew towards me, finally landing at the rooftop of the apartment complex. The blue sphere slowly lost its glow, and finally Itsuko stood before me, flipping her hair pretentiously with her usual plastic smile.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She sounded very calm, and not exhausted at all.

"Before we go, I'd like to show you one more interesting thing."

Itsuko pointed towards the sky. I half-suspiciously raised my head, and in the gloomy grey skies, I saw it!

Right above where the giant first appeared was a crack, like that of a hatching bird trying to break through its eggshell. The crack began to spread rapidly like a spider web.

"Following the red creature's destruction, the Sealed Reality will also be destroyed. Believe me you won’t want to miss it.”

As Itsuko finished her explanation, the large cracks now covered the skies above, like a metallic net. The net margins started to narrow until they became as small as black curvy lines. Then, at that moment, CRACK!

Actually, I didn't really hear any sound. It was just my brain trying to simulate the sound of glass cracking. Anyway, a light penetrated from a spot in the sky, spreading out in all directions. I felt the light shower downwards. No, that's not the right word for it… it was more like the opening of the retractable roof of the Tokyo Dome stadium, all within a few seconds. The difference is that this roof covered all the buildings under it.

A loud noise started to rumble in my eardrums, and I covered my ears instinctively. It was because I had been in a world of silence for so long, the usual bustling noise in the streets and mechanical hum of white noise had seemed deafeningly loud.

The world had reverted back to its original state.

There were no collapsed buildings, no grey skies, and no glowing blue spheres flying through the air. The road was full of vehicles and people. A familiar orange glow could be seen through the gaps between the buildings. The world seemed grateful at the reception of such warmth and left long shadows behind.

The breeze blew softly.

----
"Well then," Itsuko said. "Shall we go back?"

Is it really okay to be this calm right now? Weren't you just in life-or-death battle?

"Of course I was," she replied, her smile faltering for only a moment before it resumed full-force. "But you must understand, I have been in these fights before."

What's with those unreadable expressions?

"I find," Itsuko said as she guided me back down the stairs, towards the shopping centre, "that though these battles need to be taken very seriously, they should not be dwelled on. When the fight is won, one should take a moment to enjoy the simple things in life. Like this one."

At this point, we were at the shop that had the yellow dress... Itsuko, predictably, made me try it on and despite my protests, it did look good, so I bought it. I might've thanked her if she hadn't been so persistent about me trying it on, even if she was right.

^ Too much Yuri-ness, must be more subtle

----

"Now do you understand, though?" Itsuko asked me as we boarded a taxi, which seemed to magically stop before us after we left the shopping centre. When I looked, I realized it was the same driver as before.

"I don't get it at all." I answered truthfully.

"I knew you'd say that, hoho." Itsuko laughed. "Those blue giants, we call them Celestials, but, as I've told you already, they are greatly related to Suzumiya-san's mental condition. We're the same, of course. Once Closed Space appears, once the Celestials begin their movement, we're able to use our powers. We can only use those powers within Closed Space; right now, I’m totally powerless."

I silently glanced at the driver's back. All that is related to Haruki’s mental state? What is he, a teenage girl?

"I don't know why it's just us who have these powers, but I don’t think it has anything to do with our identities. It's like winning the lottery: even though the chances may be low, there's bound to be someone who wins. I just happened to be the one to be stabbed by the random spear. Ah, how unlucky I am!" Itsuko smiled forcefully. I remained silent because I didn't know what I should have said. Unlucky? Who are you to say that?

"We cannot allow the Celestials to move freely. Why is that, you ask? Because the more damage these Celestials cause, the larger the sphere of the Closed Space becomes. The one you just saw was one of the smaller ones. If we leave them unattended, it will continue to grow until it covers the whole country, even the whole world, and finally, that alternate grey world will completely replace the world we're living in."

I finally opened my mouth. "How come you know so much?"

"I told you, I just know, it can't be explained. All the espers associated with The Organization are the same. One day they just suddenly knew everything about Suzumiya-san and how he could affect this world, as well as realizing that since they now had supernatural powers, they couldn't just allow Closed Space to continue expanding untouched. When normal people learn about something like this, they’d normally want to see if they could be of any help, right? If we hadn't done anything about it, the world as we know it would have been destroyed. And that, of course, would be a bad thing."

Itsuko fell silent after mumbling those last words.

For the rest of the journey, we just looked in opposite directions, watching the scenery pass by.

----

The car stopped in front of my house, and as I got out, Itsuko spoke again.

"Please pay attention to Suzumiya-san's actions. His supposedly stable mental state has now begun to show signs of rapid deterioration. It's been quite a while since something like this has happened."

Look, even if I was to pay more attention to him, what difference can I possibly make?

"Honestly, I have no idea. But I think you are the right person to entrust this matter to. Some of my colleagues tend to overthink matters ... or not think enough."

Before I could reply, Itsuko drew her head back inside the open car and closed the door.

I stood there for a moment, watching what I was now sure was Itsuko's - or rather her Organisation's - private taxi disappear into the distance. As I watched the legendary phantom taxi drive off into the distance, I began feeling rather like an idiot, and went inside.

My little brother was waiting at the door, looking disappointed. What? Did you think you were going to score even more free candy by blackmailing your big sister? What kind of a heartless individual is our father raising here?

"Shut up!" he pouted. "Anyway, you have no right to call me heartless, I do lots of nice things around the house. I wake you up every morning, so you don't arrive late at school."

Having said so, the miniature wrestling fanatic who practises his combat moves on me in the mornings to wake me up ran off into the living room.

I need a shower ...

<noinclude>
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|-
| Return to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter5|Chapter 5]]
| Forward to [[Suzumiya_Haruki_no_Seitenkan:Volume1_Chapter7|Chapter 7]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume2 Prologue

2009-06-13T17:13:15Z

Heatth:

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume2 Prologue

2009-06-13T17:12:22Z

Heatth: New page: Haruki seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't let anything bother him. But he is. The only thing that bothers him is that "this world is too damn ordinary!" To him, the "extraordinary th...

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Epilogue

2009-06-13T13:08:25Z

Heatth: New page: Let me tell you what happened afterwards. On my way to the bathroom during lunch break, I met Itsuko in the corridor. "I really should thank you from the bottom of my heart." She said, g...

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Chapter7

2009-06-13T13:07:12Z

Heatth: New page: An artificial human who claims to be created by aliens, a boy who traveled from the future, and a magical esper girl have all shown me proof of their identities in order to gain my trust. ...

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Chapter6

2009-06-13T05:44:41Z

Heatth:

Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Chapter6

2009-06-13T05:36:50Z

Heatth: New page: I found another letter in my shoe locker today. What was it with letters in shoe lockers, anyway? Didn't anybody know how to use e-mail? This letter felt different to the other one, thoug...

I found another letter in my shoe locker today. What was it with letters in shoe lockers, anyway? Didn't anybody know how to use e-mail?

This letter felt different to the other one, though. For one thing, it wasn't just a scrap of folded paper without a name. It was in a plain white envelope, like one of those ones that they sell in 'business packs' in bookstores, and on it was written a single name.

''Asahina Mitsuuru.''

I shoved the envelope roughly into my bag and rushed to the girls' washroom to open it. The message was written on a plain white piece of paper, meandering a bit when it reached the end.

''I'll be waiting for you in the club room during lunch break.

- Asahina Mitsuuru''

After what happened yesterday, my notion of reality had changed dramatically. I never wanted to go through anything like that ever again.

And yet... there was no way I could turn this down. I couldn't imagine Asahina-senpai even ''thinking'' about doing anything improper to me, and even though I had no proof that this letter was indeed sent by him, I didn't doubt its authenticity. He seemed the sort to go through such indirect, old-fashioned means. The mental image of Asahina-senpai slowly writing every word down with great care, his face locked in concentration, made me smile. Besides, if we're meeting in the club room, then Nagato should be there as well, and he'd protect me if anything really happens.

----

During break, though, I began to have my doubts. What if Nagato wasn't there? What if it was’t Asahina-senpai after all? What if it's another alien like Asakura, out to murder me to 'provoke a reaction' in Haruki?

My hair was in my eyes, so I brushed it back, remembering why I kept it back in a ponytail in the first place. And as my hand touched the back of my head, I remembered why I was wearing my hair down at all.

For a moment, I felt like a ancient peasant farmer who had been dutifully stacking sod and straw, only to be surprised by a flash flood.

Just for a second, I was there again, in this very classroom. Unable to move. Hearing Asakura say: " I have always wondered what you would look like with your hair down…" Feeling the rush of air of the katana near my head, but unable to dodge. The brief tug at my hair.

And then, back in reality, something else tugged on my hair.

I was dimly aware of two things. The first was a voice saying: "What are you doing, spacing out and playing with your hair!?" The second was my hand suddenly on my bento box.

The next moment, I found myself standing upright, looking down at the desk behind mine. My heart was racing and I felt completely out of breath. Haruki was sitting there, blinking with surprise, a small trickle of blood running from his nose. My lunch was splattered all over him, and everyone else in the classroom was staring at me in shock.

W-wha? I... clocked you in the face with my lunch, Haruki? How did that happ-?

Taniguchi told me what happened later on. Why do I have to rely on such a questionable witness, though? Come on, brain, cough up the facts! What else are you hiding from me...?

At any rate, according to Taniguchi, Haruki had reached out and yanked - wasn't it just a tug? - on my hair while I was looking off into the distance. I screamed "really loudly", so Taniguchi assumed that he must've pulled too hard on my head. I didn't bother correcting her.

Some pressuring was needed to make Taniguchi reveal what it was that I had screamed, exactly. Apparently it was a simple "No". Next, she saw me "shoot" out of my chair and smack Haruki in the face with my lunchbox, "All in one movement". Come on, haven't we established that I'm not an action hero?

The next thing ''I'' remember, Okabe-sensei was dragging me to her office and I had to spend the rest of recess assuring her that I was just startled because Haruki disturbed me while I was nodding off. It was just a bad dream that I continued into wakefulness. Really!

Please don't make a bigger deal out of this than it already is, sensei! I'm going to have to apologize to that idiot, especially since they dragged him off to the guidance counselor’s office. He didn't even show up for next period, which was a mixed blessing: on the one hand, I felt embarrassed about the whole thing, but on the other hand, ''I'' was now the object of everyone's attention. Besides, his schoolbag was still there, so he hadn't been sent home.

Urgh. I felt mortified. And it all happened just because I couldn't find a tie for my damned hair.

Haruki didn't show up for the period after that, either.

----

When lunchtime finally rolled around, I was immediately surrounded by a gaggle of idiots, wanting to know what really happened during break. I suppose that’s better than being asked what I was doing with Nagato in the classroom yesterday.

I was surprised that Taniguchi hadn't spread the word about what she saw yesterday all over the school like the gossip she was. Maybe she wanted to get the story straight out of my mouth.

Yeah, like she'd believe the truth anyway. Seeing her coming over to me, I ducked out of the crowd surrounding me. Right now, being stabbed to death would be better than having to deal with airheaded gossips!

…Well, no, I don’t really mean that. Besides, without a lunch, there’s no real point in waiting around here.

I headed towards the clubroom.

------

It was only May, and already the sun was smothering us with overbearing warmth. When summer actually comes, Japan will be a natural sauna. I was already sweating just by taking a few steps.

When I arrived at the club room door, I knocked first.

"Please, come in."

The voice was unfamiliar, and I hesitated. Was that really Asahina-senpai in there? If I really strained my mind, I could make myself believe that I could hear a bit of Asahina-senpai in there, but it was too deep to be his normal voice. He sounded friendly enough, but Asakura was friendly yesterday too, just before he tried to kill me.

I steeled myself. Even if it was someone dangerous, Nagato would come and help me, right? He came last time without me calling for him. He’s dependable. He’ll save me no matter what.

I opened the door.

Nagato wasn't there.

The person sitting inside wasn't Asahina-senpai either, and I actually took a step backwards before stopping myself. He was sitting in my usual chair, leaning back, and looking up at the ceiling. He was wearing a loose white shirt and tight black business pants, plus the slippers made for school visitors. His long brown hair was tied into a ponytail down his back.

He wasn't Asahina-senpai, but he looked a lot like him. The Asahina-senpai I knew wasn't that tall, and he looked more like a cute little boy than this handsome guy in front of me now. This guy looked like he was in his twenties, and gave a completely different feel than the middle-school[/b]er[b]-like Asahina-senpai.

But he resembled Asahina-senpai too much to be a coincidence.

"It's been a long time, Onee-chan," the man said, grinning at me.

…Onee-chan?

I heard a whistle.

“Ah, the tea’s ready,” he said, getting up. “Sit down, make yourself comfortable.”

I hesitantly took a few steps into the room, still trying to figure out who this guy was.

“Want sugar? Or milk?” he asked, though he was putting plenty of milk in already.

It hit me. Could he be... "Are you, um, Asahina-senpai's... brother?"

He blinked in surprise, and then chuckled. His smile made him look even more like Asahina-senpai. "No, no, Onee-chan! It's me! I'm Asahina Mitsuuru, except that I come from further into the future. I've been waiting for a long time to meet you again."

I can't imagine the stupid expression on my face then. After what Asahina-senpai had told me in the park, I could accept that this person was himself from the future, and I took a few more steps into the clubroom to get a closer look at him. He had really grown handsome in the years to come, and he'd probably have a huge following of potential girlfriends, if he was still single.

"Oh, you don't believe me? Well then, I'll have to show you proof, right?" He began to unbutton his shirt.

Wait wait wait! I'm not ready for this! Aren't we moving a bit too quickly?

He revealed his chest to me without any trace of embarrassment. "Look, can you see this star-shaped birthmark? You can touch it if you want to."

There was indeed a star-shaped birthmark on that muscled chest. I shook my head slowly, feeling the heat on my face, my heart beating faster. I don't really remember if Asahina-sempai had a birthmark on his chest, even when I’d seen him changing outfits some time ago.

Wait, if this Asahina-senpai had grown so much, could it be that he had also grown in... what was I thinking? I shouldn't have such bad thoughts! Bad brain! Bad!

"Hm, that's strange," Asahina-senpai said, buttoning up his shirt again. "If you hadn't told me that I had this birthmark, I wouldn't have noticed it myself." His eyes grew wide. "Or could it be that I— t-this wasn't supposed to happen yet! We still haven't..." His flustered look made him seem just like the Asahina-senpai of this time. "Please forget what I just said!"

Easier said than done. I don't think I want to forget the sight of that chest, anyway.

…Bad brain!

"I'll believe you for now," I said. "Right now, after what happened yesterday, I'll believe anything."

The Asahina-senpai from some point in the future quickly regained his composure. "So do you really believe that I've come from the future to this temporal plane?"

"Of course. Wait, does that mean that there are now two Asahina-senpais in this time?"

"Right, Onee-chan. The me from the past is now sitting in his classroom, eating lunch with his friends."

[Editor’s note: Mitsuuru has friends? As in plural?]

What’s with the Onee-chan?

"Does he know that you're here?"

"No, he's from my past."

…I see.

"I had to tell you something, so I got permission from the higher-ups to let me come to this time. Also, I've asked Nagato-kun to leave us for now."

Nagato probably didn't even bat an eyelid when he saw this Asahina-senpai. "Do you know who Nagato-kun is?"

Asahina-senpai smiled. "Classified information," he said playfully. "Heh, I haven't said that in such a long time."

"Actually, I just heard you say that a few days ago."

"You're right." Asahina-senpai winked at me. Then he suddenly looked serious. "I can't stay here for too long, so I'll get right to the point. Have you heard of The Frog Prince?"

"Well, yeah."

"Whatever you'll face from now on, no matter how bad, I hope you'll remember that story."

"The Frog Prince, right? The one where the handsome prince is turned into a frog and the princess has to kiss him to change him back?"

"That's the one."

"I've already experienced something bad yesterday."

"This is worse than that. I can't tell you the details, but Suzumiya Haruki will be at your side."

Worse than yesterday? And Haruki? By my side? You mean we'll both be involved in something horrible? Did he start it?

"Suzumiya-kun won’t find anything wrong with it, but for the rest of us, it's a very complicated problem."

"You can't give me any details at all?"

"I'm sorry, I can only give you hints." Asahina-senpai looked so apologetic and serious. I could definitely imagine the younger Asahina-senpai looking like that.

"Like the story of The Frog Prince?"

"Yes."

"I'll remember it."

"Thank you." Asahina-senpai walked around the clubroom, and stopped before the clothes rack, looking at the maid outfit.

"Ah, I remember this.” He said, looking uncomfortable. “Well, I guess there’s no way I’d pass off as a girl while wearing it now, huh?”

[Editor’s note: Flashes of Kamen no Maid Guy.]

That’s definitely true. "What sort of other stuff did Haruki make you wear?”

"I'm not telling," Asahina-senpai said shortly, but with a smile on his face. "It's really embarrassing. Though, it was kinda fun…."

He had a sort of sad, distant look in his eyes when he said that.

"So then, Onee-chan." Asahina-senpai walked towards me, and placed his hands on my shoulders. He seemed to be looking for something to say. "I'll… be going now, then."

Seeing him so hesitant, I thought that maybe I should give him a hug. However, just as I was about to embrace him, he backed off.

"I have one more request to make," Asahina-senpai said. "Please don't get too close to me." He put his hand on the doorknob.

“Ah!” He exclaimed. “That’s right. I have this to give to you.”

From his pocket, he pulled out a yellow ribbon.

Seeing my confused look, he explained. “For your hair. Looks like you need it, anyway.”

“T-thanks.” I said, grateful. I guess there’s no need go buy hair ties now.

“Oh, don’t thank me,” he smiled. “Thank yourself. You were the one who gave that to me.”

“What?”

He grinned again, reminding me a little of Haruki. “Drink your tea, it’s getting cold.”

He turned to leave.

"I-I have one more question for you!" I blurted out. Asahina-senpai stopped, and looked at me questioningly. "A-are you seeing anybody right now?”

"That," he said, putting his finger to his lips and grinning wider than ever, "is classified information."

----

Just like that, the door closed behind him. I couldn't have done anything even if I had tried.

Wow. I can’t even believe how good-looking Asahina-senpai became when he grew up. I suddenly thought of the first thing he said to me. ‘It's been a long time, Onee-chan.’ Obviously, it’s been quite some time since he last saw me.

The future Asahina-senpai must have returned to his distant future, and then spent a few years there, before reuniting with me on this “time plane” again.

So how long has it been for him? He’s grown a lot… maybe five years? Of course, it could be less. Some guys go through huge growth spurts after they graduate. My cousin was like that. When he was in high school, he had always been this short, weak, studious kid. Then when he entered university, he grew nearly a foot and became the object of about a hundred girls’ affections.

Because of all this, though, I’m confused as to what his real age is. Is he really 17?

…I’m hungry. I think I’ll go back to the classroom and see if I can get Kunikida to share some of her lunch with me. She always brings too much anyway.

But as I opened the door…

"..."

Standing there was Nagato Yuuki, who was wearing his usual well-preserved cold face, but as he wasn't wearing glasses today, he stared at me with a naked glare.

"Oh! Hi, Nagato-kun! Did you just see someone who looked like Asahina-senpai passing by?" I asked, half-jokingly.

"I had seen Asahina Mitsuuru's differential temporal clone already this morning."

[Editor’s note: Has anyone else always wondered what that line actually means? Or is it just that the word for “clone” in Japanese can also mean “double” or something?]

Nagato silently sat down in his seat and then placed his book on the desk and opened it.

"He is no longer here, and has departed from this timeframe."

"Can you travel through time as well? With that Data Entity thingy?"

"I cannot. However, temporal movement is not as difficult as one would think; it is just that humans have yet to grasp its basic principles. Time is like space; moving through it is very simple."

"Then could you teach me?"

"That is a concept that cannot be conveyed in speech, so you would not understand even if I explained it."

"That so?"

"Yes."

"I guess that's too bad, huh?"

"Too bad."

It was pointless trying to talk to such a wooden person, so I decided to go back to the classroom. I hope still have time to eat something…

"Nagato-kun, thanks for yesterday."

His wooden expression moved slightly.

"There is no need to thank me. Asakura Ryou's actions were my responsibility. I was careless with my supervision."

His hair parting swung softly.

Was he trying to bow and apologize to me?

"You know, you definitely do look cooler without your glasses."

He didn't reply at all. The tea Asahina-senpai had brewed for me was still on the table, so I picked it up and had a sip.

Blech! Too much milk…

----

As I was rushing back to the classroom to scrounge up some lunch, I ran smack dab into Haruki. Could this be fate? It seems I've reached the point where I can see through all karma.

I remember what I did to his face during break.

"Listen, I -" I started to say, but he cut me off. Have some manners, you lout! Let a girl apologize when she feels she has to.

"Try not to space out in class," he told me in a superior tone of voice. Your nosebleed's stopped, I see. And you managed to get the egg out of your shirt. "You act even more stupid than usual when you're sleepy, it seems."

So, it seems your feelings weren't hurt, as you're still capable of spouting nonsense.

"Anyways, where did you run off to? I thought you'd be back sooner. I didn’t even eat lunch because I was waiting for you!"

Good, you can share some with me. It’s your fault I don’t have any, in any case.

"Don't just stand there like an idiot! Follow me!"

Haruki, in his usual fashion, picked me up off the ground and carried me towards the dark staircase.

Oh, no… put me down and let me go eat! I’m hungry!

"After I finally got out of the counsellor’s office, I went to ask Okabe in the staff room. The teachers only learned about Asakura transferring this morning. Early in the morning, someone claiming to be Asakura's mom called, saying they had to move due to some emergency. And you know where they're moving? Canada! How can this be possible? Why the hell would anyone move to Canada? There’s something going on here, I know it!"

[bb’s note: Isn’t Kaisos Canadian? Just an amusing coincidence.]

"Really now?" I said, trying to fill my response to the brim with sarcasm. Of course, it’s wasted on Haruki.

"After that, I said I was a good friend of Asakura’s and wanted to ask the teachers if how could contact him."

Oh please. I don’t think you ever spoke more than a few words at a time to him when he was still around.

"And you know what the teachers said? They say they didn't know. Normally, if someone were to move, wouldn't they usually leave some sort of contact information? I’m telling you, there’s something weird going on here!"

"No, there isn't!"

Haruki just steamrolled over me as usual. "So I asked for Asakura's old address from before he moved. I'm gonna go there and have a look after school. Maybe we can find something there."

Forget it. I'm not going to stop him. In the end, the one wasting his time is Haruki, not me or anyone else.

"You're coming too."

"What!? Why!?"

Haruki puffed up his shoulders, and then, like a dragon huffing and puffing before firing its breath, he shouted at a volume the whole school could hear.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SOS BRIGADE!!!"

I retreated frantically, complying with Haruki’s unreasonable orders. I went to the clubroom to tell Nagato that neither Haruki nor I would be showing up for club activities today. I also instructed Nagato to relay the message to Asahina-senpai and Itsuko as soon as they arrived, but I didn't know if the silent alien would even say anything, so, just to be safe, I took a felt pen and wrote on the back of one of the SOS Brigade flyers.

"There are no activities today for the SOS Brigade. - Haruki".

I don’t suppose it will matter in the least to Itsuko, but at least I can save Asahina-senpai from having to wear his maid outfit.

The bell for fifth session rang as I finished writing and pasted the note to the clubroom door. Because of this, I was forced to run all the way to class.

----

If I said I never wanted a guy to walk me home from school like on TV dramas, I’d be lying. But now that this dream has become a reality, I’m far from happy. For obvious reasons, of course.

"Did you just say something?" Haruki asked while walking on my left side, striding with large steps, carrying a piece of notepaper. I automatically interpreted his question as ‘You got a problem?’

"Nope, nothing at all."

We walked down the hill and followed the railway line. A little bit further on would be Koyouen Station.

Just as I was thinking that we must be near Nagato’s place, we arrived there. I’d never have guessed that this was where Haruki was heading.

"Asakura seems to live in Room 505." Haruki said.

"No wonder."

"What do you mean 'no wonder'?" He glanced sideways at me.

"No, nothing. Oh yeah, how do you expect to go in? Look, even the gate is locked." I said as I pointed to the keypad by the intercom. "You need to enter the correct code to open the door. Do even you know it?"

"Nope! Fortunately, I have a plan. We might just have to wait a while, though."

Waiting? What are we waiting for? As it turned out, we didn’t end up waiting long. At that moment, a middle-aged man in a business suit opened the gate from inside, looking like he was just about to go into the office. He looked at us for a while with a questioning glance and then walked off.

Just as the gate was closing, Haruki rushed forward and put his foot in between it to stop it from opening.

Good idea, but that’s trespassing.

"Hey! Hurry up!” Haruki yelled at me and pulled my hand. Like that, I was dragged into the entrance hall. The first thing I noticed wasn't the chique decor, but the loud music. Why is someone playing foreign music so loudly in a semi-public space, and if they must play music, why Cher? Ignoring this assault to my ears, Haruki dragged me into the elevator, which had stopped at the ground floor. It’s just simple manners to stare silently at the floor numbers when riding an elevator, but…

^ Don’t know about this… I mean I’ve never heard of such manners when you’re in an elevator with friends, so it might just be me, but it seems weird.

"That Asakura..."

Simple manners are wasted on someone like Haruki.

"It’s not just this transfer that’s fishy. He didn’t attend a local junior high either."

Well, that’s to be expected, really.

"I’ve done my research, see. He supposedly transferred to North High from another town. It’s just too suspicious. North High isn't some famous school or anything, just a normal local high school. Why would he go through so much effort to come from another town just to attend our school?"

I shrugged. I’ll just let Haruki go on with his rant for now.

"Yet she lives near the school, and it's one of those apartments paid by cash and not by rent. The price here must be insanely expensive. Could he have been going from here to his junior high on the train for the past three years?”

"I told you I don't know." Why are you asking me?

"I guess we need to find out when Asakura started living here, then."

The elevator stopped at the fifth floor. We got off and found Asakura’s apartment.

Room 505.

For a few minutes, we just silently stood and looked at the door. The name board by the door had been removed, indicating this was an empty apartment.

Looking at this door brings back memories of that battle in Class 1-5. Asakura’s last words echo in my mind.

''You'd better be careful, though. I’m not the only one with a dissenting opinion.

And who knows, even those who control Nagato-san might change their thinking and decide to kill you instead.''

Asakura may be gone, but that doesn’t mean I’m safe. One of her friends might decide to assassinate me as I sleep. Even Nagato, who saved me…

I shivered involuntarily, which, unfortunately, Haruki noticed.

“You okay?” He asked, looking at me strangely.

I lied. “I’m fine. Don’t you feel that draft?”

“…Weirdo.” Haruki tried to turn the doorknob, but as expected, it’s locked.

Haruki stood with his arms crossed, trying to figure out how to get inside the apartment to investigate, while I tried to figure out why I was here wasting my time in the first place.

“Ah!” Haruki snapped his fingers "Let's find the caretaker!"

"I don't think she'll lend us the key."

"No, I'm thinking of asking her when Asakura started living here."

I sighed. "Just forget it, Haruki! What can we do even if we did know? Can’t we just go home?”

"No." With that short, simple answer, Haruki pulled my arm again.

We took the elevator and returned to the ground floor, and went to the caretaker's post at the entrance hall. That music was as loud as ever, and even got louder the closer we got to the post. Soon enough, I spotted a radio behind the glass, and… something weird. At first, I thought some kind of malformed sweater or stuffed pet had been left in the caretaker’s seat. When we pushed the buzzer, however, it turned out to be a freakishly high, curly black wig on top of a little old lady in a dress much too colorful for her, who slowly rose like a vengeful ghost.

It wasn’t something I wanted to see on a daily basis. I don’t know how she was keeping her job.

She blinked owlishly and scrabbled at her desk, eventually taking out a pair of butterfly glasses. Haruki then began to bombard the old woman with questions before she could even speak.

"Excuse me, we're friends of Asakura-san. He suddenly said he was moving without even leaving his new address, and we don't know how to contact him. Could we please ask if you know where he moved to? And, could we please know when Asakura-san started living here?"

I was amazed at how Haruki can actually use such normal, polite language, but the old lady seemed to be hard of hearing as well as half-blind. She kept replying with, "What?", "Come again?", and so on. Though I should say it was either that she was hard of hearing, or her attention was wandering; she was all smiles with her eyes firmly on Haruki. Hey, grandma! What’s with that twinkle in your eye?

Despite that, Haruki still managed to learn from the old lady that she too was surprised at Asakura suddenly moving out. (I didn't even see the movers come, yet all the furniture inside was gone. It still gives me the creeps.) He also learned that Asakura had moved in three years ago. (I remember the handsome young lad giving me a box of treats that day!) Also, instead of paying in installments, the apartment had been paid for in one single down payment in cash. (I guess they must be very rich!)

I’m impressed, Haruki! You could be a detective at this rate!

The old lady seemed rather pleased to be talking to a good-looking guy like Haruki.

^ Previous iteration didn’t make much sense and was kind of repeating earlier creepiness from old lady.

"Come to think of it, although I've often seen that handsome young boy, I don't recall ever seeing his parents. I remember the fine young man's called Ryou. Such a nice name. I was hoping he would at least come and say goodbye... it's such a pity. I forget how many times I invited him over for tea and a chat. But y’know, you're not bad yourself!”

When the old lady began to talk about stuff like that, moving a little closer to the window to get a better look at him, Haruki determined he could no longer extract any more information from her. He bowed to the old caretaker politely and said, "Thank you very much for your help."

He then motioned for me to leave. I didn’t need any urging at all, since I was eager to get far, far away from this apartment building. I hope I would never have to come back here again.

"Hey, little lady!" the caretaker called to me only loud enough for me to hear. “That boy’s a looker,” she whispered, “he’ll grow up to be a nice man. If I was just my granddaughter’s age, I’d go for him in a heartbeat, so don’t let him get away! Tame him, and you’ll be set for life.”

^ Previous iteration was Ew. Old People Dirty Talk is no good.

The old woman was obviously senile. What I was worried about was what sort of terrible reaction Haruki, who might have overheard all that, would have. Yet he silently continued moving forward, and so I remained silent as well and followed him out of the building.

A few steps from the gates, we bumped into Nagato, carrying his schoolbag and some plastic grocery bags. For Nagato, who would usually be in the clubroom reading until the school closed, to be here at this time would mean that he had left soon after we did.

"Ah!” Haruki said, surprised. “You live here too? That’s a coincidence!”

Nagato nodded his pale white face. Please, how can this be a coincidence?

"Have you heard anything about Asakura?" Haruki asked.

Nagato shook his head.

"I see. Right, well if you hear anything about Asakura, let me know, okay?"

He nodded his head. Are those the only responses you’re capable of!?

I noticed some food cans and vegetables inside his grocery bags. I guess he does need to eat after all.

Haruki had noticed one thing that was different about Nagato today. "What happened to your glasses?"

Nagato didn't directly answer the question but only silently looked at me. I panicked a bit being stared at by him like that, while Haruki, not expecting him to answer at all, simply shrugged his shoulders and walked off without looking back. I lifted my arm and waved goodbye to Nagato.
As we walked past, Nagato whispered, "Be careful."

Be careful?! Of what? But as I was about to turn around and ask him, he had already vanished into his apartment building.

Geez… You’re going to make me paranoid!

----

I followed Haruki, who was walking aimlessly along the railway line, always remaining two to three steps behind him. Walking this way would lead me further and further from home, so I asked where we were going.

"Nowhere.” he replied dully.

“Then can I please go home now?” I asked as I looked up at the back of Haruki’s head.

At that point, Haruki stopped dead, and I walked straight into his back.

He turned and looked at me with a gloomy look, his face as pale white as Nagato’s.

"Do you ever get the feeling you're just an insignificant speck on the face of the planet?”

Without waiting for my answer, he continued. "I have, and I'll never forget it."

Haruki stood by the railway tracks and began to talk.

"When I was in sixth grade, I went with my family to see a baseball game. I wasn't really interested in baseball. But when I went there, I was shocked. Everywhere I looked there were people all around, everywhere. The people at the opposite end of the stadium looked like grains of rice, all of them in constant motion. Back then, I thought that everyone in Japan had gathered to watch that game. So, I asked my mom how many people were at the stadium. She said as it was full that day, there were about fifty thousand people.

"After the game, the roads were packed with those people. Seeing all of this, I was completely stunned. There were so many people here, yet they were only a tiny fraction of the whole country. I had read in geography class that Japan had a population of a hundred million, so I went home and did the math. I found out that fifty thousand was only one out of two thousand of the total population. I was stunned again. I was only a small part of so many people in the stadium, and that many people again were only a small part of the whole country.

"Before that day, I had always thought that I was special. I was happy with my family, and I felt that the world’s most interesting people were in my class. Slowly, I began to realize the truth. The things that I experienced in school that I had thought were the happiest, most wonderful things in the world, happened in every school. For the whole country, the whole planet, they were just everyday occurrences. The whole world around me started to lose its color. I brush my teeth and go to sleep, then wake up and have breakfast. It’s the same, day after day, after boring day.

"My life became boring when I realized everything I did was just a part of everybody’s ordinary life. Since there are so many people in this world, there has to be someone who's living an extraordinary, exciting life. Someone out there has to be fighting aliens, rescuing princesses, and slaying giants. Why couldn't that be me?

" I thought all about it before I graduated from elementary school. When I entered junior high, I decided to change myself. I'd show the whole world that I'm not someone who’s content to just sit and wait. But even after I’ve tried my best… everything is still the same. And now I'm in high school, still hoping for something to change. But, at this rate, it’s never going to. Never."

Haruki said all this without pause. When he finished, his face twisted into an expression of regretting saying so much, and just stared at the ground in silence.

A train passed rapidly by us. Thanks to the rumbling noise, I had time to consider what I should do next. Should I come up with something philosophical and inspiring? Should I say something to make him laugh?

However, as I watched the train leave behind its Doppler Effect sound, all I could muster was an “Is that so?” I feel really bad at only coming up with such a simple, useless reply. What am I supposed to do, though? Hug him?

Haruki turned around declared, “Let’s go!”

He strode back the way we came. Though I could reach home faster if I went after him, I somehow got the feeling he didn’t want me to follow. I stayed where I was and watched Haruki walk off until he disappeared from my sight.

Just what the hell have I been doing all this time?

When I came home, I found Itsuko waiting by my front door.

"Hi!" Her smile was the sort of smile you would usually use to greet an old friend, but it was still as fake as ever.

"I want to keep the promise I made to you earlier. That’s why I've been waiting for you here, but I never thought you would return so quickly!" She said heartily.

She was still wearing her uniform and carrying her bag, apparently she just left the school.

Itsuko continued with her ever-present smile. "Do you have a moment? I'd like to take you to see a certain place."

"Something to do with Suzumiya?" I asked.

Itsuko’s smile grew wider. "Something like that."

I opened my door and placed my bag in the hall. After telling my brother, who had just appeared, that I was going somewhere again tonight, (“With a guy again?” “Shut up.”) I went back outside to Itsuko.

A few minutes later, we went for a ride.

----

Itsuko flagged down a taxi that had stopped near my place, and we rode off along the main road, heading eastwards. Itsuko told the driver to go to a large city outside the prefecture. It’d be cheaper to go by train, but since Itsuko was the one paying, it didn’t matter to me.

"Right,” I began, “What was the promise you said you were going to keep?"

"You don’t remember? Weren’t you the one who wanted to see proof of my esper powers? Well, now’s your chance!" Itsuko said cheerfully.

"Do we really have to travel this far?"

"Yes. I can only use my powers under specific places and conditions. The place we're headed to fits those conditions."

"So, you still believe Haruki is God?"

Itsuko, sitting together with me in the back seat, glanced sideways at me. "Have you ever heard of the Anthropic Principle?"

"Nope."

Itsuko sighed and smiled again, "Basically, it's a theory that states 'If something must be true for us, as humans, to exist, then it is true simply because we exist.'"

Huh? I don't get it.

"The universe exists simply because it is there for us to observe. In other words, the intelligent lifeforms known as humans learned of the existence of the universe through observing how the universe was formed by the discovery of the laws of physics. If humans had not evolved to their present level, then observation would be impossible, and they would never learn of the existence of the universe.

“This means whether the universe exists or not, for a human who hasn't completely evolved, it wouldn't make much of a difference. It is because of the presence of us fully-evolved humans that the existence of the universe is widely accepted. This is the method of thinking from the humans' point of view."

"…That’s an stupid way of thinking. The universe exists regardless of whether humans exist or not!" I retorted.

"You're right, and that's why the Anthropic Principle is not completely scientific, just a philosophical concept. However, from this theory, something interesting comes into view."

The taxi stopped at a red light. The driver just kept staring at the road, never bothering to turn around and look at us.

"Why did the universe come to be in a state suitable for human habitation? A minor change in the gravitational constant would mean a completely different universe from the one we're in. Other sets of rules such as Planck's Constant or the mass ratio of atomic molecules seem to be designed specifically so that humans can live in this universe. Don't you find this incredible?"

My head hurts. The stuff Itsuko said sounds like one of the rhetorical flyers given out by those newly formed religions whose founding principles are based on scientific theories.

"Relax! I don't believe in the existence of an ‘Almighty God’, or the ‘Ultimate Creator’ that breathed life into the first human. And many of my companions share this sentiment. Yet, there's one thing that bothers us."

Which would be?

"Are all the things that we do as foolish as a clown doing a handstand by the edge of a cliff?"

The expression on my face right now must have been very strange, or Itsuko wouldn't have laughed as loud as she did.

"Ah-hohohoho! I was kidding, kidding!"

H-hey, you… "I really don’t know what the hell you’re talking about…"

What I really want to say is, I don't have time to play some stupid jokes with you. Can you let me off? Or driver, do you mind turning around? If possible, I'd prefer the latter.

"I was just using the Anthropic Principle as a comparison. We still haven't touched on the subject of Suzumiya-san."

This is just too weird! Why are you, Nagato and Asahina-sempai all so infatuated with Haruki?

"Well, I think that he’s very charming and charismatic, but let’s leave that aside for now. Do you still remember me saying that this world had probably been created by Suzumiya-san?"

I didn’t like what she was saying, but I did remember it having come up..

"He has the ability to realize dreams." Itsuko said.

Can you not be so conclusive for once?

"I can’t, because it’s true. Right now, this world is being guided by Suzumiya-san's wishes."

…How, exactly, is that possible?
"Suzumiya-san has always believed aliens existed, which is why Nagato Yuuki appeared. Similarly, he wanted to meet time travelers, so Asahina Mitsuuru appeared as well. And I appeared before him for the same reasons as well."

Didn’t he have marriage plans in there somewhere…?

"And how do you know that?" I asked.

"It was three years ago..." Itsuko began.

Three years ago again! I'm sick of hearing that already! Why is it always three years ago?

"One day, I suddenly realized I possessed a certain power, and for some reason, I fully understood how to use this power. At the same time, I also discovered others like me had also gained certain powers, and that these powers were granted by Suzumiya Haruki. I can't go into the details. All I can say is that I know these things while not being able to explain them."

"Alright, look. Even if I believe you have these powers, I still can't believe Haruki can have the power to warp reality."

"Neither could I. A mere schoolboy having the ability to change the world -- sorry, I guess it should be more like the ability to create worlds, huh? The scary thing, though, is that this boy now finds the world he's in to be boring."

"Why is that scary?"

"Didn't I say tell you? If he can create worlds at will, then naturally he can make this world disappear without a trace and then restructure it according to his wishes. Then, in a literal sense, the world will have come to an end. We can't determine whether this theory is correct or not; who knows, the world which we believe to be unique has probably been recreated many times before already."

The number of times I have used the word “unbelievable” in the past 10 minutes only proves that I need a thesaurus.

"If that's really the case, why don't you just tell Haruki who you really are? Let him know that espers really do exist. I bet he’d be really happy to hear that.” He’d probably ask you to marry him. “Maybe then, he wouldn't want to try and destroy the world!"

"That would pose an even greater problem. If Suzumiya-san believed the existence of espers to be a very normal thing, then it would become a very normal thing. All the laws of physics would be distorted-- the Molecular Constant, the Second Law of Thermodynamics, and the rest of the universe would all descend into chaos."
"There's something I don't understand." I said, "I remember you saying it was Haruki's longing to marrymeet aliens, time travelers and espers that caused you, Nagato-kun, and Asahina-sempai to appear before her?"

"Yes,” she replied.

"Well, then why hasn't Haruki noticed anything yet? Isn’t it a little strange that it’s just you and me who know everything instead?"

"You find it inconsistent? It isn’t, really-- the real inconsistency is within Suzumiya-san's heart."

…Could you say something I can understand for once, please!?

As I was about to respond with some sharp retort, the driver said suddenly, "We're here."

The car came to a stop and the door opened. I stepped into the crowded street with Itsuko. When the driver drove off without even charging any fare, I wasn't at all surprised.

If people in this area wanted to go shopping, this would be the place for them to do so. This is the typical local metropolis with the railway interchange, as well as all sorts of department stores and complex architecture. The sunset bathed the bustling street full of pedestrians a glowing orange. When the lights at the intersection ahead turned green, the road became occupied by a sea of people in an instant. We were separated for a while by this wave after we got off by the sidewalk.

"So what were you saying?" I asked, as I caught up to Itsuko.

We headed towards a nearby shopping centre as she talked. "Ah, yes, Suzumiya-san’s inconsistent heart. He does hope for the existence of aliens, time travelers, and espers. His common sense, however, is telling him that these things don't exist, and this creates cognitive dissonance. Though he may be eccentric in his actions and speech, his thinking is still no different from an ordinary person. His stormy enthusiasm has slowly calmed down in the last few months. We were glad to finally see him stabilize, but a tornado-like change has suddenly occurred."

“What change?"

"It's all because of you." As we passed through the doors of the shopping centre, Itsuko stopped walking and turned towards me. "If you hadn't given Suzumiya-san certain… funny ideas, we would still be observing him from behind the scenes right now."

"What!? What did I do!?” I had nothing to do with anything! It’s all Haruki’s fault anyways!

"It was you who encouraged him to form that weird club. All because of a conversation he had with you, he came up with the idea of forming a club to gather us all together. Therefore, you must carry full responsibility for all of this. It is because of you that the three groups most concerned with Suzumiya Haruki have now gathered in the same place."

Oh. That. “T-that’s not fair!" I still decided to defend myself unconvincingly
.
Itsuko only smiled and continued, "But that's not the only reason…”

“Hey,” Itsuko suddenly broke out into a grin as she caught something in the corner of her eye. “That dress…” She pointed at a flowing yellow one, up at some clothing store’s display case. “It’d look really good on you, wouldn’t it?” She turned back to me, smiling wider than ever. “Want to go and try it on?”

I put my palm against my face and sighed. “…Wasn’t there something you wanted to show me?” I asked, exasperated.

At my response, Itsuko looked a bit sheepish. “Ah, yes, that. But after we finish, we’ll come back to try it on, okay?”

“…Fine.”

[Editor’s note: Yes, that is the same dress Mikuru wears in Lone Island Syndrome. Since we already had Kyon-chan wear Mikuru’s clothing in Chapter 4, I figured, why not?]

^ Original seemed WAY out of place and definitely a bit random.

As we walked towards an open area in the middle of the shopping centre, Itsuko looked at me and said, "There's still time for you to change your mind, you know. It’d probably be simpler just to go back and try on the dress."

"Shut up about the dress. I'm already here anyway, so let’s cut to the chase."

Walking beside me, Itsuko suddenly grabbed hold of my hand. Hey, what do think you're doing!?

"Sorry, but could you please close your eyes for a while? This won't take very long.”

What won’t take long? Hey! I dodged to avoid a consumer from bumping into me.

Fine, fine. I obligingly closed my eyes. I could still hear the many footsteps of the shoppers, the endless chatting, the dull roar from the cars outside, and all sorts of noises.

Under Itsuko's guidance, I walked ahead one step, two steps, three steps, and then I stopped.

"You can open them now."

I slowly opened my eyes.

The whole world fell into a shade of grey.

All the bright colors in the store windows were gone and on the neon signs advertising fifty percent off sales had turned dull grey The lights on the ceiling had gone out, stranding Itsuko and me in near-darkness.

There were no people at all.

Besides Koizumi and I, the bustling crowd of evening shoppers that was here before had now vanished without a trace. The ever-present hum of machinery that fills the background noise in cities was gone. It was so quiet that you might wonder if the Earth had stopped spinning as well.

"We're now in a gap within a cross-dimensional faultline; this is Closed Space, a place that is completely cut off from the world we live in."

Itsuko's voice became particularly clear in the silence.

"The centre of this courtyard falls right by the ‘Wall’ of this Closed Space. Look, just like that."

Itsuko's outstretched arm stopped in midair, as though blocked by something. I tried to do the same and stretched my arm towards that direction; it felt like touching cold, washed vegetables. My hands pushed through the surface of an elastic invisible wall, but I couldn’t extend any further beyond ten centimeters.

"This Closed Space has a radius of five kilometers. Usually, it's impossible to enter using normal physical means. However I have a certain ability that allows us to enter."

"Where is this place?" I asked. Wait, no, the question ought to be more like “What dimension is this?”

"I'll explain as we move along,." said Koizumi casually. “We should go outside, where you can really see the true extent of this place.”

As we headed out through the back entrance, I couldn't help but lift my head towards the sky. The glowing orange sun was nowhere to be seen, and the sky was covered by gloomy grey clouds. Were those really clouds? The flawless dark horizon stretched endlessly ahead in every direction. The only thing that stopped this world from falling completely into darkness was a weak glow in the sky that had replaced the bright sun.

This place… it’s creepy.

"I'm not too sure about the details, but this is a dimension located not far from ours... Let's put it this way, a cross-dimensional faultline just appeared right over there, and we have entered through the gap. At this moment, the outside world is still going on with its everyday life. It's nearly impossible for normal humans to stumble upon this world by accident." She continued to talk as we crossed the street, heading towards an apartment complex. "Imagine an inverted bowl-like, egg-shaped dimension, and this place is its interior."

We entered the multi-story apartment complex, but not a single person could be seen, not even a speck of dust.

"Closed Space occurs randomly. Sometimes it appears once every other day, and sometimes it appears once every several months. Yet, one thing's for sure..."

We climbed up the stairs, although it was dark inside. If I hadn't been following Itsuko closely, I would've tripped.

"Whenever Suzumiya-san is in a mentally unstable condition, this space will appear."

We arrived at the rooftop of the apartment block.

"Once Closed Space appears, I will be able to sense it. So too can my companions. How do we know, you ask?”

I didn’t ask.

“Frankly, even we don't know how. In any case, we just know when and where Closed Space will appear, and how to penetrate it. I can't describe this feeling in words."

I held the rooftop fence and looked towards the sky; no breeze could be felt.

"So you brought me here just to see this? There's not even anybody here!" Can I go home now?

^ I think it would be better to not mention the dress at all in this crazy esper scene. It distracts and right now I can’t figure out a way to naturally fit the reference to it.

"No, the real fun will begin soon. It's about to start."

Quit joking around! Itsuko, however, pretended not to notice my sour expression.

"My abilities are based around detecting Closed Space and penetrating it, but that’s not all they can do. I can even sense Suzumiya-san's state of mind. This space is a representation of Suzumiya-san's emotional state and my comrades and I are in charge of maintaining it. I guess you could say that when Suzumiya-san’s mind gets to the point where it becomes indigested, I’m the medicine sent in to cure it."

"…Your metaphors are a little hard to understand."

"People often tell me that. Anyway, are you feeling all right? I guess it’s to be expected, but you seem a bit freaked out by this place."

“It’s nothing, nothing…” It’s just that… this place reminds me a little of the space Asakura created a few days ago. Gah, I've had enough of these crazy experiences already!

Suddenly, Itsuko lifted her head and looked in the opposite direction I was facing..

"Seems like it's begun.” She said, suddenly serious. “Turn around and look behind you."

I saw it.

Standing between the tall buildings in the distance was a glowing red giant.

It was taller than a 30-story building by a head's length. Its slim, deep crimson-shaded figure seemed to contain some sort of material that allowed it to glow from within. Since it was too dark, I couldn’t see its outline clearly, and besides the eyes and mouth, which seemed to be an even darker red, its face didn't seem to have any other features.

What… what on earth is that?

The giant slowly lifted its arm and then swung it down like an axe, and the building beside it was smashed in half; then, as if in slow motion, the concrete, wires, and debris made a deafening noise falling to the ground.

Itsuko was talking again, but I could barely hear her over the destruction "We believe these to be the manifestation of Suzumiya-san's frustration. Every time his inner conflict reaches a certain limit, these giants will appear and destroy everything around them to relieve pressure. We cannot allow these things to have their way in our reality, or they'll cause widespread death and destruction. That is why this Sealed Reality is created, so that they can wreak their havoc inside. You understand?"

Every time the glowing red giant waved its arms, the buildings would be sliced in half and collapse. The giant would then continue forwards, stepping on the debris.

Surprisingly, I could only hear the sound of the buildings collapsing, but not the footsteps of the giant.

"According to the laws of physics, it should be impossible for a giant like him to be able to stand, due to his weight. Yet he is able to move around freely in a weightless condition. Though destroying a building involves a change in molecular structure, these rules don't seem to apply to him. Not even an army would be able to stop one of these giants."

"So… we can’t do anything?"

"No, and that is why I exist. Please look closely."

Itsuko pointed towards the giant. And I looked again to notice a few glowing blue dots that had just appeared and were flying around the giant. Compared to the large red giant, the blue dots were like sesame seeds. There were five of them in total, but because they were flying so fast, my eyes couldn't catch up with them. Like satellites, the blue dots orbited around the giant as though trying to stop the giant from moving further ahead.

"Those are my companions, who, like me, have obtained their powers from Suzumiya-san. We are warriors in charge of hunting down these giants."

The giant made a lazy swing to swat away the tiny blue pests, but they skillfully dodged the giant's attacks and swiftly changed their flight path. They came around a second time and attacked the giant's body. The giant, however, seemed to be made of gas, since the blue dots simply flew through it.

The giant, after deciding that it was too troublesome to fight, simply ignored the blue dots and their attacks and raised its arm again to smash another department store building.

No matter how the blue dots attacked, the giant didn't seem to be stopping. Blue laser-like beams now penetrated the giant's body non-stop, but since I was too far away, I couldn’t figure out the extent of damage it had sustained. One thing was for certain: the blue beams didn't create any holes in the giant's body.

"Right, I think now would be an excellent time for me to join them."

Itsuko's body started to glow blue, and a blast of force erupted from her which drove me a few steps back and caused her clothes to flutter. As she started to glow blue, Itsuko briefly turned to look at me and smiled a little strangely.

"How embarrassing, I think my skirt went up for a moment," she said with a small giggle, “You didn’t see anything, did you?”

Who would be looking up your skirt at a time like this?!

Soon, her glowing body was covered in a blue glowing sphere. Standing before me was no longer a human girl, but a large glowing ball.

This is getting ridiculous. I may need a thesaurus again at this rate.

As if making a signal, the glowing sphere started to rise and then flew straight towards the giant at an incredible speed.

Since the blue spheres never stopped flying, I couldn't figure out how many there were in total, but I don’t think there could have been more than ten, including Itsuko. They bravely flew towards the giant's body, but all they could do was fly through it. The giant was barely, if even, hurt. But just as I was thinking that, one of the blue spheres suddenly approached the giant's wrist and circled it.

The next moment, the giant's hand was sliced off. The masterless hand fell towards the ground and gave out a mosaic glow, started to become transparent, and then disintegrated like snow melting under the sun. I guess the red smoke coming out of the giant's severed wrist must have been its blood. This really is the stuff of fiction.

The blue dots seemed to have changed their attacking style of charging towards the giant. They approached the giant like a bunch of fleas surrounding a dog. The blue beams sliced through the giant's face, and its head came falling down; after that, its shoulder fell as well, followed by its upper torso, leaving behind a strange shape. The falling bits began to give out the characteristic mosaic glow, then disintegrated and vanished.

As the giant was standing in a large piece of land without any obstacles around, I was able to see the whole process from beginning to end. When the giant's upper torso fell off, its remaining body also began to disintegrate, finally dissolving into beads smaller than dust and spreading over the debris.

Once the blue dots floating above made sure their work was done, they started flying off in all directions. Most of them disappeared at once; only one flew towards me, finally landing at the rooftop of the apartment complex. The blue sphere slowly lost its glow, and finally Itsuko stood before me, flipping her hair pretentiously with her usual plastic smile.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She sounded very calm, and not exhausted at all.

"Before we go, I'd like to show you one more interesting thing."

Itsuko pointed towards the sky. I half-suspiciously raised my head, and in the gloomy grey skies, I saw it!

Right above where the giant first appeared was a crack, like that of a hatching bird trying to break through its eggshell. The crack began to spread rapidly like a spider web.

"Following the red creature's destruction, the Sealed Reality will also be destroyed. Believe me you won’t want to miss it.”

As Itsuko finished her explanation, the large cracks now covered the skies above, like a metallic net. The net margins started to narrow until they became as small as black curvy lines. Then, at that moment, CRACK!

Actually, I didn't really hear any sound. It was just my brain trying to simulate the sound of glass cracking. Anyway, a light penetrated from a spot in the sky, spreading out in all directions. I felt the light shower downwards. No, that's not the right word for it… it was more like the opening of the retractable roof of the Tokyo Dome stadium, all within a few seconds. The difference is that this roof covered all the buildings under it.

A loud noise started to rumble in my eardrums, and I covered my ears instinctively. It was because I had been in a world of silence for so long, the usual bustling noise in the streets and mechanical hum of white noise had seemed deafeningly loud.

The world had reverted back to its original state.

There were no collapsed buildings, no grey skies, and no glowing blue spheres flying through the air. The road was full of vehicles and people. A familiar orange glow could be seen through the gaps between the buildings. The world seemed grateful at the reception of such warmth and left long shadows behind.

The breeze blew softly.

----
"Well then," Itsuko said. "Shall we go back?"

Is it really okay to be this calm right now? Weren't you just in life-or-death battle?

"Of course I was," she replied, her smile faltering for only a moment before it resumed full-force. "But you must understand, I have been in these fights before."

What's with those unreadable expressions?

"I find," Itsuko said as she guided me back down the stairs, towards the shopping centre, "that though these battles need to be taken very seriously, they should not be dwelled on. When the fight is won, one should take a moment to enjoy the simple things in life. Like this one."

At this point, we were at the shop that had the yellow dress... Itsuko, predictably, made me try it on and despite my protests, it did look good, so I bought it. I might've thanked her if she hadn't been so persistent about me trying it on, even if she was right.

^ Too much Yuri-ness, must be more subtle

----

"Now do you understand, though?" Itsuko asked me as we boarded a taxi, which seemed to magically stop before us after we left the shopping centre. When I looked, I realized it was the same driver as before.

"I don't get it at all." I answered truthfully.

"I knew you'd say that, hoho." Itsuko laughed. "Those blue giants, we call them Celestials, but, as I've told you already, they are greatly related to Suzumiya-san's mental condition. We're the same, of course. Once Closed Space appears, once the Celestials begin their movement, we're able to use our powers. We can only use those powers within Closed Space; right now, I’m totally powerless."

I silently glanced at the driver's back. All that is related to Haruki’s mental state? What is he, a teenage girl?

"I don't know why it's just us who have these powers, but I don’t think it has anything to do with our identities. It's like winning the lottery: even though the chances may be low, there's bound to be someone who wins. I just happened to be the one to be stabbed by the random spear. Ah, how unlucky I am!" Itsuko smiled forcefully. I remained silent because I didn't know what I should have said. Unlucky? Who are you to say that?

"We cannot allow the Celestials to move freely. Why is that, you ask? Because the more damage these Celestials cause, the larger the sphere of the Closed Space becomes. The one you just saw was one of the smaller ones. If we leave them unattended, it will continue to grow until it covers the whole country, even the whole world, and finally, that alternate grey world will completely replace the world we're living in."

I finally opened my mouth. "How come you know so much?"

"I told you, I just know, it can't be explained. All the espers associated with The Organization are the same. One day they just suddenly knew everything about Suzumiya-san and how he could affect this world, as well as realizing that since they now had supernatural powers, they couldn't just allow Closed Space to continue expanding untouched. When normal people learn about something like this, they’d normally want to see if they could be of any help, right? If we hadn't done anything about it, the world as we know it would have been destroyed. And that, of course, would be a bad thing."

Itsuko fell silent after mumbling those last words.

For the rest of the journey, we just looked in opposite directions, watching the scenery pass by.

----

The car stopped in front of my house, and as I got out, Itsuko spoke again.

"Please pay attention to Suzumiya-san's actions. His supposedly stable mental state has now begun to show signs of rapid deterioration. It's been quite a while since something like this has happened."

Look, even if I was to pay more attention to him, what difference can I possibly make?

"Honestly, I have no idea. But I think you are the right person to entrust this matter to. Some of my colleagues tend to overthink matters ... or not think enough."

Before I could reply, Itsuko drew her head back inside the open car and closed the door.

I stood there for a moment, watching what I was now sure was Itsuko's - or rather her Organisation's - private taxi disappear into the distance. As I watched the legendary phantom taxi drive off into the distance, I began feeling rather like an idiot, and went inside.

My little brother was waiting at the door, looking disappointed. What? Did you think you were going to score even more free candy by blackmailing your big sister? What kind of a heartless individual is our father raising here?

"Shut up!" he pouted. "Anyway, you have no right to call me heartless, I do lots of nice things around the house. I wake you up every morning, so you don't arrive late at school."

Having said so, the miniature wrestling fanatic who practises his combat moves on me in the mornings to wake me up ran off into the living room.

I need a shower ...