Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Magika No Kenshi To Shoukan Maou

2015-02-27T03:40:15Z

LivingHumanoidInterface:

Thougt that I should point out that Solitary Translations has been deleted by WordPress due to hosting the translations for DanMachi. Anyone who has downloaded the translated chapters for Magika from his site should upload them here, especially when you consider that Jn's last message was to upload them here instead of linking them to his site. Whether or not he foresaw this event is anyone's guess though.

Does anyone have backups of the previously translated chapters before they were deleted? If not, I'll see if I can't get ahold of some. [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]] ([[User talk:LivingHumanoidInterface|talk]])

Famima!

2013-08-27T01:45:53Z

LivingHumanoidInterface: chapter 3

[[Image:Famima! v1 cover.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover]]
'''''Famima!''''' (ふぁみまっ!) is a light novel series written by Kube Kenji (九辺ケンジ) and illustrated by Tsurusaki Takahiro (鶴崎貴大).
Published by Softbank Creative, the series currently has 6 volumes.

==Story Synopsis==
"Ah~, if my life was a game, I would restart it from this morning!"

What Kazuki received from his parents via the post was a "little sister!?" According to his parents, there were circumstances behind Sabrina...

"A mafia boss's estranged child?"

"Si."

"And an amateur assassin?"

"Si."

Sabrina tightly hugged Kazuki.

"And... I'm your little sister. I wanted to meet you, Onii-chan."

What would happen to a middle school student when he suddenly gets a cute little sister? And that little sister happened to be a blond foreigner with blue eyes? And that little sister happened to be an amateur assassin?

What will happen to our protagonist Kazuki Outaki's everyday life!?

==Translations==
Translations and editing by [http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com/ Imoutolicious LNT]

==Updates==
:* August 11, 2013: Volume 2 Chapter 2 Completed

==The ''Famima!'' series by Kube Kenji==

===Volume 1 ([http://www.mediafire.com/download/el22cv48vmg12f2/Famima!_Vol._1.pdf Volume 1 PDF])===
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.ca/p/famima-volume-1-main.html Illustrations]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/famima-v1-prologo.html Prologue: Prologo]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/famima-v1-capitolo-1-sabrina.html Chapter 1: Sabrina]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/famima-v1-capitolo-2-threatened.html Chapter 2: A Threatened Everyday life!]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/famima-v1-capitolo-3-visitor-from-italy.html Chapter 3: A Visitor From Italy]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-capitolo-4-reality.html Chapter 4: Reality]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-capitolo-5-shower-and-distant.html Chapter 5: Shower and The Distant Thunder]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-capitolo-6-legame-bond.html Chapter 6: Legame -The Bond-]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-epilogo_21.html Epilogue: Epilogo]

=== Volume 2===
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.ca/p/famima-volume-2-main.html Illustrations]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.ca/2013/07/famima-v2-prologo.html Prologue: Prologo]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/famima-v2-capitolo-1-small-lurking.html Chapter 1: A Small Lurking Shadow?]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/08/famima-v2-capitolo-2-clarice.html Chapter 2: Clarice]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com/2013/08/famima-v2-capitolo-3-sleepover.html Chapter 3: Sleepover]
::*Chapter 4: Shopping
::*Chapter 5: Ms Ooba Middle School underwear contest
::*Chapter 6: Tears and Determination
::*Epilogue: Epilogo

==Project Staff==
*Project Administrator:[[user:Junnynam|Junnynam]] (Imoutolicous LNT)
*Project Supervisor: [[user:Junnynam|Junnynam]] (Imoutolicous LNT)

===Translators===
:*[[user:Junnynam|Junnynam]] (Imoutolicous LNT)

===Editors===
:* [[user:LivingHumanoidInterface|LHI]] (Imoutolicous LNT)

==Series Overview==
# ふぁみまっ! (April 30th, 2010) - ISBN 978-4-7973-5957-2
# ふぁみまっ!2 (August 31st, 2010) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6080-6
# ふぁみまっ!3 (January 31st, 2011) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6154-4
# ふぁみまっ!4 (May 31st, 2011) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6512-2
# ふぁみまっ!5 (October 15th, 2011) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6697-6
# ふぁみまっ!6 (April 15th, 2012) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6887-1

[[Category:Hosted Projects]][[Category:GA Bunko]]

Famima!

2013-08-11T13:22:00Z

LivingHumanoidInterface:

[[Image:Famima! v1 cover.jpg|thumb|Volume 1 Cover]]
'''''Famima!''''' (ふぁみまっ!) is a light novel series written by Kube Kenji (九辺ケンジ) and illustrated by Tsurusaki Takahiro (鶴崎貴大).
Published by Softbank Creative, the series currently has 6 volumes.

==Story Synopsis==
"Ah~, if my life was a game, I would restart it from this morning!"

What Kazuki received from his parents via the post was a "little sister!?" According to his parents, there were circumstances behind Sabrina...

"A mafia boss's estranged child?"

"Si."

"And an amateur assassin?"

"Si."

Sabrina tightly hugged Kazuki.

"And... I'm your little sister. I wanted to meet you, Onii-chan."

What would happen to a middle school student when he suddenly gets a cute little sister? And that little sister happened to be a blond foreigner with blue eyes? And that little sister happened to be an amateur assassin?

What will happen to our protagonist Kazuki Outaki's everyday life!?

==Translations==
Translations and editing by [http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com/ Imoutolicious LNT]

==Updates==
:* August 11, 2013: Volume 2 Chapter 2 Completed

==The ''Famima!'' series by Kube Kenji==

===Volume 1 ([http://www.mediafire.com/download/el22cv48vmg12f2/Famima!_Vol._1.pdf Volume 1 PDF])===
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.ca/p/famima-volume-1-main.html Illustrations]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/famima-v1-prologo.html Prologue: Prologo]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/famima-v1-capitolo-1-sabrina.html Chapter 1: Sabrina]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/famima-v1-capitolo-2-threatened.html Chapter 2: A Threatened Everyday life!]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/famima-v1-capitolo-3-visitor-from-italy.html Chapter 3: A Visitor From Italy]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-capitolo-4-reality.html Chapter 4: Reality]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-capitolo-5-shower-and-distant.html Chapter 5: Shower and The Distant Thunder]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-capitolo-6-legame-bond.html Chapter 6: Legame -The Bond-]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/famima-v1-epilogo_21.html Epilogue: Epilogo]

=== Volume 2===
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.ca/p/famima-volume-2-main.html Illustrations]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.ca/2013/07/famima-v2-prologo.html Prologue: Prologo]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/famima-v2-capitolo-1-small-lurking.html Chapter 1: A Small Lurking Shadow?]
::*[http://imoutoliciouslnt.blogspot.com.au/2013/08/famima-v2-capitolo-2-clarice.html Chapter 2: Clarice]
::*Chapter 3: Sleepover
::*Chapter 4: Shopping
::*Chapter 5: Ms Ooba Middle School underwear contest
::*Chapter 6: Tears and Determination
::*Epilogue: Epilogo

==Project Staff==
*Project Administrator:[[user:Junnynam|Junnynam]] (Imoutolicous LNT)
*Project Supervisor: [[user:Junnynam|Junnynam]] (Imoutolicous LNT)

===Translators===
:*[[user:Junnynam|Junnynam]] (Imoutolicous LNT)

===Editors===
:* [[user:LivingHumanoidInterface|LHI]] (Imoutolicous LNT)

==Series Overview==
# ふぁみまっ! (April 30th, 2010) - ISBN 978-4-7973-5957-2
# ふぁみまっ!2 (August 31st, 2010) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6080-6
# ふぁみまっ!3 (January 31st, 2011) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6154-4
# ふぁみまっ!4 (May 31st, 2011) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6512-2
# ふぁみまっ!5 (October 15th, 2011) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6697-6
# ふぁみまっ!6 (April 15th, 2012) - ISBN 978-4-7973-6887-1

[[Category:Hosted Projects]][[Category:GA Bunko]]

2013-06-02T11:03:54Z

LivingHumanoidInterface: /* Higher Quality illustration */

===Higher Quality illustration===
I have a higher quality version of the image in volume 1 chapter 1. If you'd like, I can add it.

Regards, [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]] ([[User talk:LivingHumanoidInterface|talk]])
:Go ahead, Yuki. [[User:Yog-Sothoth-chan|Yog-Sothoth-chan]] ([[User talk:Yog-Sothoth-chan|talk]]) 22:31, 1 June 2013 (CDT)

::Done. [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]] ([[User talk:LivingHumanoidInterface|talk]])

File:Futeikei 1.jpg

2013-06-02T11:03:03Z

LivingHumanoidInterface: LivingHumanoidInterface uploaded a new version of "File:Futeikei 1.jpg": Higher quality

Talk:My Maid is a Formless Entity:Volume 1 Chapter 1

2013-06-02T01:42:50Z

LivingHumanoidInterface: Created page with "===Higher Quality illustration=== I have a higher quality version of the image in volume 1 chapter 1. If you'd like, I can add it. Regards, ~~~"

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-03-22T14:31:15Z

LivingHumanoidInterface:

Great work! You certainly made my day! I was surprised by how interesting this novel was that I continued reading even though it's 2.40 am already. I do hope to see more chapters up soon, certainly looking forward to it =D - [[User:Destinyz|Destinyz]]

* I am going to finish posting this tomorrow, it's just that adapting the weird formatting I used on MS Word to Wiki-formatting is harder than it looks. I'm glad you liked it; getting positive feedback makes this otherwise empty day of mine a much, much better one. Thank you very much. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

hmm I look forward to the next chapter. I already read the 3rd chapter elsewhere. The story is weird in some places but that's okay. Still curious about what will happpen

* Weird is good, sometimes; because of weirdness, we've got bloody awesome stuff such as djent, hair coloring and SHAFT. I'm going to post the last chapter later, so get yourself ready for some weird action. [http://soundcloud.com/corelia/glass-faces-1 Listen to this while you wait, it's delicious.] - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo = The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya... RIGHT>?

* It started as a rant on that series, yes. It grew on me by the ending line of the first chapter, so I said "what the heck" and decided to take it serious. Not too serious, though. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

very good story, i like it

* Thank you very much. [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i super quote the comment upXD (just a question, you are writing or translating this??)

* Writing (and technically translating, considering the fact I'm not a native English speaker; yeah, that sounds like a good way to get away with stupid mistakes). The sequel is coming along nicely, too. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

nice story, deservers to be serialized(be made in a book, sorry but i too am not english, i am italianXD)

* Thank you very much. It's highly unlikely unless I follow the dreadful path of self-publishing, but I suppose the possibility exists.[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Is it possible to publish here on baka-tsuki my original light novel I'm writing? [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* The criteria is the same they use for translation projects: once your novel is finished talk to thelastguardian, create a thread on the forum with a voting system so people can tell if they want to see your novel or not on Baka-Tsuki. On the first post, write the series/novel synopsis and then wait for the replies. After people had the chance to vote for a few weeks and there is a satisfactory result, create the page and start posting. I'm looking forward to your novel, both as an avid reader and as a fellow writer. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

So yeah, I'm wondering if you should just capitalized the 1st letter in every word in the novel volume title so that it looks nice.
Btw, nice writing.
It reminds of Kyon, and you have a lot of references taken from other series, which is fun to read for us otakus.
Overall "Good Job!" *thumbs up*

* Thank you very much. As I said before, this thing started as a rant on Haruhi and that's why there are some similarities. To me Shin-tsu is what Kyon (a regular, snarky guy) would be if the weird stuff started happening to him when he was a kid, without a single pretty friend around to help him (I used "friend" instead of "girl" because, honestly, even straight guys are going bi for Itsuki. True story). Because of that he became someone who is constantly terrified, over analytical and anxious as a dog when seeing a postman and his bag, along with many other symptoms; clearly, we have a case of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurosis psychoneurosis] in our hands. Good thing he landed on a freak town, at least he is not the only one who is damaged. Also, here is a fun game to play along with reading this: try to figure out which kind of disorder(s) each character has based on their sentences and the other characters' impressions on them. Post the results here: I think all but one character can be fully analyzed just with Wiki pages, although I must say psychology books can help a lot. Regular people play "doctor", but the hardcore ones play "Psychology House M.D."! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

---Man, this is great! It was my dream to have a work of fiction that comments on cliches in just the way you do it. i like
your style very much)
also, i spotted some grammatical errors. but in which talk page do i post the corrections? this one?
anyway, looking forward to the 2nd novel.
PS. i know how to write correctly, i just hate capital letters, so i'm sorry about that. idiffer.

* To be honest I was kind of wanting for a ''metamanga'' story to show too, although I had my doubts about how well that plan could be executed (there are a few things that are better left as ''theory'' instead of being put in ''practice'', such as interactive media and communism). When you find grammatical errors feel free to edit the chapter, preferably leaving a comment afterwards to point out my mistakes on the respective chapter's talk page. I too am looking forward to the second novel, mostly because I don't want it to take a year to be complete like the first one did (never take hiatus on writing, they ruin your life). PS. I don't know how to write correctly, therefore I use capital letters. Not sorry about that at all, except I truly am. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hi! I actually saw your novel before on textnovel.com and I also have my novel there (code 3079). Also thank you for your advice, I get now how troublesome it is - especially for someone as lazy and impatient as me. [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* A fellow textnovelist! I haven't accessed that website in a while, and I guess it shows because the early fragment of the novels posted there are raw as meat before barbecue. So, I just read your story: it feels dark but told from the point-of-view of a protagonist who hasn't been corrupted yet, so there was no way I could not like it. And it's not that troublesome especially because everyone here is kind enough to give support and offer criticism when you need it. Totally worth it. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Actually, there's something that actually makes me sad.
It's about Ayaka. She appeared at the last chapter, became the culprit, and then got transfered.
I hope she got reintroduced later on, I really really hope so...

* Unfortunately, I could not introduce her before: the whole incident just happened because she wasn't present in the first day of the week. This let me a little sad too, because she is psychotic as hell and managed to keep it all inside herself until the moment was right. She carries knives around too and would stab you after being flirty and stuff; my kind of girl character, although I am not fond of her Shugoshin because it's the easiest to defeat compared to the others I planned. I cannot talk about Ayaka's future right now, but on the special ''metastory'' (that happens between novel 1 and 2) the characters will comment on her transfer; she even appears on it, so rejoice! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno! Your light novel is good to epic proportions. Your after word mentions that you don't have a style, but the style used in this story was VERY prominent and VERY enjoyable. I hope you meet success and that someone publishes this, it will do well. I'm also VERY surprised, pleasantly so, that you yourself posted this on baka tsuki for us. We all thank you and wish you good luck.
PS if you want one of us to make a few tweaks grammatically just ask, its one of the few things the baka crowd and faculty are rather good at.

* Epic proportions? Does that means I am going to get an anime by SHAFT and a movie with DEEN's budget? '''Best. Life. Ever.''' Thank you very much about your kind comment and I'm glad you enjoy this as much as I do (boredom strikes me easily). I've been reading Baka-Tsuki novel translations for a while and I thought you guys would like this better than the editors assigned to reply my query letters did, probably because it would be very hard to like it less. J.K. Rowling needed 5 years to get the first Harry Potter novel published, so I guess I have around 4 years to live in despair until I ragequit or something like that. Also, feel free to edit the chapters and banish the grammar mistakes back to their evil dimension by waving your mighty sword. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

-I just finished reading/editing vol. 1 and I love your writing style. It really brings out Shin-tsu's perspective very well and makes his character seem very believable. Your English isn't the worst I've seen as you only make a few grammatical mistakes and the occasional poor word choice but it's nothing a good editor can't correct since you still get the general idea across. In all, the universe you have created in The Longing of Shiina Ryo has, in my opinion, unimaginable potential for expansion and I am greatly looking forward to your future works. P.S. Your cultural and meme references are great! -[BerylRaven]

* Thank you very much. About the "unimaginable potential for expansion" I must say I plan ahead (often too much for my own good) and yes, things are going to get crazy from here on out. My favorite manga is JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and if you're familiar with Hirohiko Araki's way of constantly building/expanding the universe you're going to like this too. My intention is to make this universe expand massively until the Big Crunch at the final story, "SCENARIO FRONTIER" (almost entirely outlined, not available on DVD or BD, people die). I just need to write enough stories in between to make sure I won't be the only one crying when it ends. About the references, most people insert them in their works as individual easter eggs; I think it's funnier if you just throw them as full baskets. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno, just as a minor heads up. Since I'm fairly confident a lot of people will want to read this, can you get the Baka Tsuki team to add this on the light novel list? Other then having this page saved and clicking through the recent changes, its slightly difficult to find. Good luck with everything!

* I'm not sure if I can. I know it would get a lot more of visibility amongst the other big name light novels (against common-sense but not again marketing techniques), but I don't think I have the heart to ask thelastguardian to change it. Plus, being the only novel in a category feels so ''avantgarde''. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Clap, clap, clap. I spent half my night reading this while writing my Physics lab and was thoroughly entertained. The monologues by the protagonist were humorous enough to actually make me laugh (I don't usually laugh when reading something). The interactions between characters are interesting, especially Kouma--I'm rooting for her victory, for some reason. You've got something good growing here. Hope you keep feeding it. -Visicury

* Reading a light novel while writing a paper for Physics class? Good grief, that sounds like a dangerous combination! Still, I am grateful and pleased; it's always good to know this story is keeping someone else amused other than myself. Just like my first story, The Underground Tower, this is keeping me awake at night with blooming new characters and bizarre situations; unfortunately, just like my first story, there is too much plotting going on and very little writing at the moment (only one tenth of the second novel was written so far, much to my dismay). However, this kind of comment might be exactly what I need to go back to the actual work: to know I should not keep the bits that are actually interesting to myself. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

I was hoping for very unusual super powers D; But i guess your going to go hunting-team route - Code 649426684

* Can't tell much about the "hunting team" thing without completely ruining the first chapter on the second novel (although ruining something I'm having trouble writing does sound appealing), but you can '''definitely''' count on crazy JoJo-style powers with limitations that stop the characters from being gods. On a different note, I'm almost done with the special ''metastory'' that will give out three details on the next one and counts with the ''super special tokubetsu na kimi miracle baby I'm happy to be with you etc'' participation of Morimoto Ayaka. We all know she could use the screen time, poor girl. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Very, very interesting. I'm loving the random references and the main character's sarcastic speeches. But one quick question: is his paranoia/mental...issues (schizophrenia, perchance?) going to be an important plot twist or is this going to be a semi-fantastical, pseudo-realistic novel? Actually don't answer that; I want to finish reading first. :3 --[[User:Musicguyguy|musicguyguy]] 02:25, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

* Have you finished already? I am in the mood for spoilers. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
I need to know if you are going to have cookies?Also when is next chapter coming? Is there going to be lots of plot twists~649426684
* Chocolate cookies and I shall bake them when I, well, learn how to bake. The prologue of the second novel has been written a while ago, but I'd rather finish the first chapter before I start posting the story to avoid making you guys wait a lot for new chapters I haven't written yet (which is a very unfortunate thing, considering the first chapter of the second novel is being harder to write than the ones that come after it or the second story of that volume for that matter). More like plot, genre and even "character" twists at the same time: what I can guarantee is that you'll get the chance to see the characters in a different light in this new volume. Happy holidays, 649426684-san. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i just noticed this novel today and i read through it in one go! it's interesting indeed! XD
but sometime i still have a hard time imagining how kouma looks. oh, and she's my favorite character ^^
good luck writing this
* I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to read it one go: recently I've done the same to a manga series, Drifting Classroom by Kazuo Umezu (I advise you to read the manga because is almost too good and avoid the live action movie like it was the black plague itself because it's just that bad). Thank you very much. Kouma has a slender frame, eyes without expression, fashionable designer clothes when not in school and [http://cabelosfortes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/reese-witherspoon-medium-layered-hair269.jpg something like this] as hairstyle, except black and a little more layered because I'm just a sucker for those things (nothing extreme as one of the girls in the next novel, but still); on a similar note, I used to have a rough but "official" draft of her face on my computer but I'm afraid it was lost when I formatted my hard disk. She is my favorite character so far too, but with the things going like this I don't know for how long she'll remain like that: I planned the overall story of this series while writing the first volume but now that I'm actually working on new scenes I can see that the characters I poorly devised back then grew along with me and now have their own charm and appeal, at least enough to confuse me. I cannot really blame Shin-tsu if he gets confused along the way too. Once again, thank you very much and I hope you enjoy the second volume. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hats off and round of applause to you for your great light novel. you've got a really colorful set of characters and a very impressive plot. Wishing you the best of luck for your novels and if this ever gets published, I want to be one of the first to buy it just to show my support!
* Thank you for your support. It's good to read such kind words while trying to finish a chapter that simply won't die so the other ones can be born. I'll never, ever try and introduce three characters at a time again (and by that I mean actually introducing, not just giving their names). Last time it was relevant to the plot so I couldn't let Shin-tsu meet Ayaka before that day, but I'm sure there's no way I could get away with that kind of stuff twice. Hopefully I'll get it done today. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Great story man, I liked it a lot. Is the unfortunate banana incident a reference to bakemonogatari? I didn't get all the puns because I don't really watch/read much animes/mangas but it was still enjoyable :D. Update soon please! - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* It is a Bakemonogatari reference indeed. I'm glad to learn that this can be enjoyable to someone who is not deep into the anime and manga scene because frankly, I've been exposed to it for so long sometimes I wonder if people in real life could understand what I'm talking about. The first chapter of the second volume simply does not want to end, currently at 14k words or so and all I want to do is to get done with it, but I can't rush it too much because that would ruin the pace of the volume in its entirety and it was pretty weird to begin with... All I can say is that the new girls and the interactions of the cast are worth it; compared to the introspective and "lonely" first chapter of novel one I'd say this is turning out to be rather crowded, and it this was an anime we'd be around episode 3 or 4 when the viewer is starting to warm up to the setting. Thus, time to add depth. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

New chapter ; great. Thanks for the update! Good flow, great stuff overall but there is one thing bugging me! The protagonist is just too damn perfect. He's a pro bass player and a music know-it-all (this annoy me the most). He's a "cordon bleu". He's somewhat rich and have total parental independence.. Every girl he meets seems to like him in some way etc... Overall, dream life imo. SURE, he has some flaws (mystery magnet and all) and he really wish he could just live a "normal life" (just to rub it in!). Am I what they call a "hater" or what? :P - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* Good to see you again. No, you're definitely not a hater: you like Shin-tsu's life enough to want it yourself (and I could do with a studio flat, a five-string bass and that money too, if you ask me)! The thing is, you are falling for his trap. Sure, he has plenty of good points (although I would hardly say he's a "cordon bleu" for cooking a recipe he got off the internet, and I am pretty sad to announce that the general definition of "good bassist" usually means "I don't need the guitarist to teach me my parts, which would be following the rhythm guitar the whole song"), but at the very least to me the flaws are much, much greater than the virtues and that's what makes him interesting as a character: he may not be that much of a pathological liar but he is absurdly prejudiced and cranky, he makes the same mistakes over and over again, hates being manipulated yet does it to others, pushes people to their edges without knowing why, practically flirts with every person he meets because he has no idea how to express or deal with "friendship", has a tendency to avoid his problems, never trusts anyone completely (which could be seen as a virtue in the world he lives in, but still), only considers consequences when they will directly affect his life, is a paranoid with overwhelming guilt on his mind, the kid is so lonely he can't possibly be in a relationship of any kind without things getting serious in the matter of hours and he projects his fears and hopes on people instead of waiting to see what they really are, to the point of seeing them as characters with stereotypes all over them. The boy is a bloody trainwreck if you ask me, and from the point the second protagonist enters the story it will be hard not to compare the two of them and see how different from the usual "let's defend our NAKAMA" leaders/heroes Shin-tsu is. Painfully. To be a little more specific on the other virtues, you must keep in mind he sees his parental independence as parental abandonment (justified, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less) and I can't tell you much right now but when he said "I do not consider myself a particularly wealthy individual for a reason or two" in this chapter it was foreshadowing, so expect a clarification on why he seems to be full of cash on a few things (goddamn big house, neat bass and CD collection) yet eats instant ramen for breakfast. About the music thing, you're going to hate this: I was exactly like him and Rin in that aspect when I was in highschool. Hell, even today I argue with audio engineers and musicians over their own work (yes, '''WITH''' them) because music is one of those things that can achieve a "degree of perfection" by using many distinct, completely unrelated routes. Therefore, music is serious business: well produced recordings in lossless quality are appreciated, songwriting that is anything short of mindblowing regardless of genre isn't. Last but not least important, I think there is no way people like him can be fully happy with their lives, period: the real problems with Shin-tsu wanting a normal life are: a) he clearly does not live in a world that supports that and b) the problem is him and not the rest of the world, so he either changes his ways for real or he'll never, ever be pleased with any sort of life he leads no matter how blessed he is. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* [Post scriptum : English isn't my mother language] Thanks for the perspective. I went back to read some parts of the first volume and you are right.. I've greatly overlooked some of his psychological problems :P. Now that you mention this, I feel like maybe I was angrier at him thinking/doing stupid shit than him being blessed. About the music part, I think that flaws that we hate the most in others are mainly our own. I'm a music enthusiasm too, I used to be a member at what.cd and waffles.fm (though not by legitimate means :P ). So that's why I'm a little aggravated by that I guess.. Great answer - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]

This is something that has been bugging me since I started reading your novel. Have you considered adding pictures?Or at least some pictures of the characters? I personally wanted to do fanart for a long time, but since there's no finished character designs, I was a bit afraid.
* The official character design and novel illustrations were supposed to be done by kyuu, but recently he's been absurdly busy with his job. [http://twitter.com/GJsoft @GJsoft] did some [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/Kouma%20by%20gjsoft.PNG fanart] based on his own interpretation of the characters and I liked it a lot. Personally, I'm looking forward to see the characters through your eyes. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* I pictured her as blonde, guess that's just me. GJSoft's kouma looks like Urabe from Mysterious Girlfriend X. - [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]
* YES. God, I love that design... I heard a couple things about the manga, as in "it's fabulous until the Idol arc, then it all goes to hell and reading it becomes a waste of time". Is that so? My personal backlog already has 14 manga I actively want to list so I'm not sure if it's worth investing the time on it now... - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* The idol arc was definitely sub-par, but before and afterwards it's definitely not a waste of time. However, I'm probably a bit biased as I work on the team scanlating it. [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]

yo! i succumbed to my curiosity and read the uploaded part of vol. 2. wow, you really do have talent! i really didn't expect some plot twists (relationship with Rin! god, that was so masterfully done.) but i think it got too sad too soon, with the whole Ryo under the tree scene. i wish the gang had a bit more fun and adventures.
sometimes the language is too heavy for me.it's good that you are advancing your english skills, but the sentence sructure in some parts is needlessly complicated, imho. like you are forcing it to be complicated (did i guess? i did almost the same thing with my novel).
don't take it the wrong way. your novel is very enjoyable and you do bring in some originality. and i'm eagerly awaiting the future chapters. it's just a habit of mine to criticise even the things i like.
also why is the second chapter called Akane? she didn't do much in it...
--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:21, 18 February 2012 (CST)
* Great to see you again. Sorry for taking this long to reply, I did not get the usual e-mail from this page being edited... Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the Rin scenes, but if I comment on the relationship right now there won't be much of a point in reading the following chapters. And I'm sorry for the sudden change in mood, but I can't comment on it either. As a tip, keep in mind that Shin-tsu did not act like this before so something changed. Maybe it's something that could change back... see where I'm getting at? Regarding the vocabulary and sentence structure, I've been "reading" a thesaurus (I won't say word by word, but yes, kind of) along with a few books on style so it rubbed off on me and even my editor complained to me about that too and has been doing a lot of cuts because it was actually slightly more verbose than it is now. It's extra funny when you consider that I still make the most ridiculous mistakes such as using "in" when it's "on" and vice-versa: this fellow can barely speak the language on a basic level but insists on dropping jargon like pigeons drop... not a good analogy. And whoa, hold on for a moment: did you finish a novel? Is it '''that''' novel you were writing back in 2010? Where is it? WHERE?And you know, the chapter title always goes to the character who is doing her "thing" (that is, the main attribute of her personality) the most; since Akane's trait seems to be going unnoticed... well, she managed to be almost irrelevant in her own chapter. Irony much? - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Thanks for explaining. Yes, it's that novel from 2010, but i didn't get past chapter one, whic you have read. I concluded that it's not my thing. I don't have much of an imagination((. Instead, i'm translating other light novels into Russian right now.(here, on baka-tsuki).

If i can find the time, i'll edit your works, if you don't mind. You have an editor, but there are still mistakes (no offense to the editor). I'll probably try doing more liberal editting, like actually changing the sentence structure for better flow. If you won't like it, as you know, you can just undo the edits...

Also, there are some instances, where the change of scene is not evident. Like, they are having a dialouge in one place, then in another. And the exact point when the location changed isn't emphasized. Maybe it's me being dumb. But if you'd like, i can look through the chapters again and find those parts.(there were 2 such instances i think).
Anyway, i won't make any promises yet.

Any ETA on when the next chapter will be done?

BTW, do you know of some other original light novels? Me being me, i'll spend 3 hours in google searching for them, so...if you know of some, can you give me the links please? If it's not too much trouble...

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 08:49, 22 March 2012 (CDT)

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2011-09-28T02:18:02Z

LivingHumanoidInterface:

User:LivingHumanoidInterface

2011-09-28T02:16:09Z

LivingHumanoidInterface: Created page with "Nothing to see here, move along."

Nothing to see here, move along.