User talk:Aorii

2014-04-08T20:54:27Z

Lulol: /* Daybreak on Hyperion */

==Rinkan no Madoushi==
So far its leaning towards a seinen fantasy story with a female protagonist. :) [[User:Stellarroze|Stellarroze]] 14:29, 9 April 2012 (CDT)

can you please do black bullet??--[[Special:Contributions/101.99.160.176|101.99.160.176]] 05:42, 6 December 2012 (CST)

==Daybreak on Hyperion==
I like your story, keep up the good work, would love to read more. In the last chapter it got a bit confusing tho, first Keade got shot and then sends a message via telepathy. What has happened in between? How did the other mage get on the roof, and so on ? [[Special:Contributions/93.223.35.150|93.223.35.150]] 04:38, 4 January 2014 (CST)

Thanks. As for what happened, Ariadne implied at the beginning of her part (section 5) that Kaede was faking the unconsciousness. Being the airborne one, she had no problem receiving direct line-of-sight telepathy from Kaede. Because of how fragmented the fight is in ch11, the continuously switching POVs makes it bit hard to read. Sorry about that ^^ - Aorii

I got all that, but what I really meant was that you usually get a little character recap here. Like she got shot, struggeled against the pain, activated some runes to dull the pain, heard foot steps, assessed it was best to play dead for the time being, and stab the mage prick that came, with her magic sword later when the time was right. :) Jumps are good and all but if too much is implied it's a bit confusing. Interesting story line, keep it up :) [[Special:Contributions/93.223.35.150|93.223.35.150]] 11:47, 4 January 2014 (CST)

Thanks for the good idea. I added an extra scene (#5, start with "Trying to monitor the situation"). Couldn't go too far with the time overlap since excess repetitiveness lowers tension and dulls the action overall, but hope this clarify and helps the transition o/ - Aorii

Well done, now the story line is smother than before. Action scenes with character development is a must :) [[Special:Contributions/93.223.35.150|93.223.35.150]] 15:46, 5 January 2014 (CST)

Great job! I really have enjoyed what you have written so far and look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work. :) [[User:Starwarscards|Starwarscards]] ([[User talk:Starwarscards|talk]]) 21:15, 29 January 2014 (CST)

I picked an early chapter (3) to read to see if I’d like the story, and I just got sucked in. Not only did I read the first 2 I skipped, but I ended up reading for the rest of the night. The next night too. I just read the latest chapter (I was re-reading a couple of parts and noticed you posted it). Your characters are interesting and slowly changing(as any good characters should), and the world seems like it has some depth. I especially liked some of the details on the different types of magic , how they worked, and their strengths and weaknesses. My only gripe is that there is no more for me to read right now :) Keep up the good work! -- 21:26, 29 January 2014 (CST)

Thanks for the encouragement! ^^ although CH3 is a pretty odd place to start =P Feel welcome to come to the forums for discussions on the mechanics side of things if interested x) - Aorii

I just started it out of curiosity as I was out of any good LN to read and I just couldn't stop until I had finished it. Somehow, your characters(Kaede/Pascal/Ariadne/Sylv mainly, and Cecilia in the last part) are really interesting. I find that Kaede reaction could(should?), in my eye, be a bit more explicit as we don't really understand when/how he accept his reality. I wanted him to search his memory to find his a hint to his death, only to find him opposing this possibility without full inspection. I'll wait for the next chapter. I'll try to drop by the forum to give a full someday. --[[User:Lulol|Lulol]] ([[User talk:Lulol|talk]]) 15:54, 8 April 2014 (CDT)

User:Lulol

2014-04-08T18:17:32Z

Lulol: Created page with "Hello. I'm just a reader of this wiki. Being French, my English is perfectible So I'm not helping that much here, but I do try to edit sometimes. Things I h..."

Hello. 

I'm just a reader of this wiki. Being French, my English is perfectible 
So I'm not helping that much here, but I do try to edit sometimes. 
Things I have read from my favourite to my least favourite 

Utsuro no Hako to zero no Maria 
Baka to test 
Legendary Moonlight sculptor (KNM and LMS too) 
Sword art Online 
Log Horizon 
No game no Life 
Kaze no stigma 
Mahouka Kouko no rettousei 
Chrome Shelled regios 
Campione! 

And a few other which i don't remember. 

Have a nice day ;)

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User talk:Aorii

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