Talk:Saiunkoku Monogatari:Volume 1 Prologue

2012-10-04T01:53:18Z

Purplecat: Created page with "I'm not exactly sure which edits I want to do are considered major or not, so I thought I'd ask about them here. But thanks to whoever translated this - I liked the anime and ..."

I'm not exactly sure which edits I want to do are considered major or not, so I thought I'd ask about them here. But thanks to whoever translated this - I liked the anime and what little of the manga I've been able to read and it'd be nice if I can finally get further in the story.

paragraph 4: change to either '...and sincerely prayed ... while continuing...' or '..and sincerely praying ... continued...' If I remember my grammar lessons right, the -ing verbs are gerunds and therefore in the original both clauses are subordinate when one needs to be a main clause in order to complete the sentence.

Prologue paragraph 4: change to either '...has already been on the throne for half a year.' or '...has already ascended the throne half a year ago.'

Prologue paragraph 8-9: The first sentence in paragraph 9 is a partial sentence and belongs with the dialogue line in paragraph 8. I'm not sure how best to format it though, because the although dialogue sounds best with the ending '!?', it doesn't flow into the dialogue tag very well. Maybe switching them around would work: 'An old court minister of state roared resentfully, “Rubbish! What kind of trend is that!?”'

Prologue paragraph 13: change '...ministers of state, but with a worried look...' to '...ministers of state, but he had a worried look...' Otherwise the subject of the second part can be a bit confusing.

Saiunkoku Monogatari:Volume 1 Prologue

2012-10-04T01:16:35Z

Purplecat: Fixed dialog format for a couple paragraphs. Changed a couple of tenses to be a more natural sounding tense.

Legend tells of the establishment of the land of Saiunkoku.

The land of Saiunkoku was once infested by demons who threw the country into turmoil.

In the seemly never-ending chaos, a youth went on a journey.

The youth slayed demons and monsters, and sincerely praying for the safety and happiness of the people, while continuing his long never-ending journey.

Finally his sincerity touched the eight gods.

Ran sage, Hong sage, Heki sage, Ko sage, Haku sage, Koku sage, Sa sage and the Shi sage—the Eight Coloured Sages named after the colours.

The sages used their divine powers to help the youth.

The youth name was So Gen, and with the help of the Eight Coloured Sages, So Gen forged an era of peace with the nation of Saiunkoku and became its first emperor.

After the death of So Gen, the Eight Coloured Sages disappeared without a trace too. However, the elegant palace built for the Eight Coloured Sages, named as the residence of the Eight Coloured Sages—Sento Palace, is said to stand in one corner of the royal palace. <Legend of the founding of Saiunkoku—Author unknown>

'''Prologue'''

In the late night, deep in the royal palace, a group of court ministers of state were having a secret discussion.

“……indeed it is a big problem.”

“Exactly, it is a bad situation.”

“The emperor has already ascended the throne for half a year.”

“Are we really not able to do anything......?”

“We originally thought that everything would turn out for the best……”

“This group of old men really cannot follow the trend of the youths.”

“Rubbish! What kind of trend is that!?”

An old court minister of state roared resentfully. He was an active general in the battlefield during his youth, and even though he was over sixty, he had not changed his impatient temper even up to this day.

“But if this continues—“

“You are right, if this continues, it is hard to say that corrupted officials will not appear.”

“That’s not all; mutineers are planning to move as well.”

“The upmost important issue right now is—“ One of the court ministers of state’s tone was clearly calmer than other court ministers of state, but with a worried look and said garrulously in a low voice: “…… to think of a solution to stop all rumours that is causing uproar.”

The court ministers immediately quietened down. Indeed, the upmost important issue right now was that problem.

“You, you are right!” Another court minister wiped his sweat and coughed dryly a few times.

“Instead of worrying about the corrupted officials that may appear, I think that it is most important to appease the emotions of the people.”

“But… We have already tried everything!”

“What should we do?”

“—I have a plan.”

As this man was the court minister with the most power in the country, his surroundings immediately fell silent; everyone looked at him with expectation.

“—as the saying goes:” the old court minister said, “the wife is also the husband’s nemesis.”

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Talk:Saiunkoku Monogatari:Volume 1 Prologue

Saiunkoku Monogatari:Volume 1 Prologue