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The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II

2014-07-12T13:26:40Z

Ryuno: I typed Ayaka when I meant Akane. It happens more often than it should.

== Part 1 ==
In a sense, of course.

What really happened is that I was all of a sudden brought back to the Festival along with Ryo, whose body just collapsed in front of me. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough to catch her.

Actually, I was thankful for both that and having two arms to catch her with.

After checking her pulse and discreetly running my hand down on her back to make sure the knife wound wasn’t there, I sighed deeply with sheer relief and then reached for the mobile phone in my pocket. One look at it and I was assured of what I suspected.

Time did not move at all ever since the kiss.

Another illusion? Seemed too complex for one, and it went on for too long, but I could not find another plausible explanation with the knowledge I had so far. My arm was here, I didn’t feel exhausted in any way other than mentally. Confusion levels rising and that alone was too much for my brain to handle at that point.

''Everything happened, but inside a layer.'' 
''A sub universe or a ‘scenario’ if you will.'' 
''It did, though.'' 

The Darkest.

''The girl is safe, you just defeated her Overdrive; to be precise, she is safe because you defeated it.'' 
''Although my speculation is that the reason why she’s passed has probably to do with the ‘condition’ her ability imposes.'' 

…condition? Wait, is this ‘Overdrive’ the Shugoshin-possessed state? So there really is a difference between a host fighting commonly and that…

''You got that right.: Ayaka and Ryo had breakdowns and the Shugoshin took over.'' 
''On the other hand the horn guy and you fought using the Shugoshin as weapons, so it wasn’t Overdrive but rather the correct usage.'' 
''Not that it pleases me to admit I am biologically no more than a glorified wishing well of destruction.'' 

What about Reikoku-sensei?

''She’s not a host, has the wrong sort of mind.'' 

No, I meant ‘why isn’t she here now’: if you say this was real, shouldn’t Reikoku-sensei have gotten here during the fight or at least after it? How can she expect to defeat the hosts if she can’t detect or at the very least provide immediate post-attack assistance? Is her idea of ‘saving everyone from them’ waiting for them to kill people so she can trail the monsters?

All the doubts I had earlier were resurfacing in no time and given the circumstances it was hard to pinpoint what was probable and what was paranoia. Was I wrong to have trusted that woman? Was I nothing but a puppet and bait in the hands of a self-righteous psychopath?

''Save it for later, we’ve got company.''

“She’ll be okay, Shin-tsu. You are needed somewhere else.” 
“Kouma.” I was almost annoyed by her presence at that point. “What do you mean? What are you doing here?” 
“No time for explanations, I know it’s a cliché but deal with it. What I am doing is damage control. If you cooperate, no one has to die.” 

I felt my eyes shift to match the mind state I knew was the worst of me.

“I’m going to ask this once so answer carefully. Are you threatening me?” 

She seemed hurt and shocked to her core, even horrified; I never thought I would see her that way let alone be the perpetrator.

“…look me in the eyes.” 
“Fine.” 
“I love you too, Shin-tsu. Would I hurt and manipulate you?” 

Didn’t take a lot of brain work for me to realize what my answer would be.

“If you had to for what you believe is my sake, yes, I’m positive you would.” 

It didn’t offend her, or if it did, she didn’t let it show.

“Do you trust me regardless?” 
“I do.” 

Which was true, too; Kouma Yon was literal-minded and an extremist, but she cared about Ryo and me in her own way so even if I couldn’t always agree with her when it comes to ‘execution’, I could trust the ‘concepts’ she had in mind enough to listen and help moderate her behavior. Her intentions were not harmful to me, at the very least of that I was sure.

“Good.” She nodded. “Thus a new experiment begins.” 
“Kouma, I’m a little too tired for this.” 
“Don’t worry; I’m here to save you. This is why I moved back in time.” 
“This ought to be the worst practical joke ever, Kouma. Even by those twisted standards of yours, I might add.” My crossed arms were trembling as I still got the ‘phantom pain’ of having lost one of them inside the monster’s world. “If you’re not giving me any evidence proving that you actually can travel in time, I’d rather stop this conversation right now.” 
“I know about you being KEN.” 

Something clicked inside my mind when she called me that name and then I remembered many, many things I came to this town to forget.

“…I’m listening.” 

She seemed absolutely delighted.

“The phone is going to ring. Pick it up. Repeat the lines I’ll whisper in your ear with exactly one second of difference and the same intonation: no mistakes allowed for now, we need to keep this timeline as close to the original as we can.” 

It did.

As I raised the phone to my ear level all I could hear was static followed by faint background noise, clearly the result of muffling the input area of the phone. Whoever it was on the other end, the intent was to make sure that the receiver would talk first: the reason I could assume was to find out if who picked it up was me.

After a few seconds I coughed just as Kouma did and intentionally took the bait.

“Hello?” 
“Nyahahaha~~! Do you remember me, KEN?” 

I wouldn’t forget that stupidly flamboyant laugh, ever.

“Death Drive.” 

Death Drive/D.D. used to be a Japanese scammer and murderer with a penchant for playing Houdini who would fake his death countless times, including on internet live streams and such. It was in one of those underground sites that I met Ryo. Not that we were into snuff or anything similar, anyway: I was there as part of my self-imposed and ultimately failed trauma-overcoming ‘routine’ and she was there to disprove him pointing out the flaws and inconsistencies of his number and method like an annoying kid at a magician’s presentation.

Except the ‘magician’ got so angry he went after her.

Over the phone and through the internet, I acted as a consultant and helped her survive his attacks. Together we defeated him and ended up sending the guy to jail for life as he was wanted all over three countries for many crimes that involved ‘faking deaths’ of other people, as in more than one coffin of a person related to him was found all clawed up inside because the victim desperately tried to get out and died spending the little oxygen he or she had under seven feet of mud after the bastard drugged them to put them in a ‘playing possum’ kind of state. He barely made it to prison though, as he had a heart condition and ironically almost kicked the bucket for real because he a little bit too nervous when he got caught. A temper and bad, bad heart made a lousy combination.

That’s when the two of us, Ryo and I, bonded. Not the cutest story for many, but it was cute enough for me because that bond lasted. Even against my attitude, for I would never dare say ‘will’; all I wanted from the bottom of my heart was to be near her for the rest of my life, regardless of title or relationship. This was obvious from the beginning to me, although whether I would get that or not was a matter of chance.

“The one and only. I just got out of prison a few months ago and thought I’d drop by and say ‘hello’ to our common friend.” 

As Kouma was telling me my next line, I could only think of how I did not have time to wonder how he got my number. This seemed specific enough to raise suspicion inside my heart.

“How exactly, pray tell? You got life sentence, no chance of parole ever. Your own lawyer applauded when the judge said it.” 
“And for as long as I was alive, I served it. Thing is, people seem to forget details and I think they are the most important thing, much more relevant than facts. My files said a lot about me, but not enough for the new prison I was transferred to. They saw me as a crazy murderer and all, and were ready for that. Not for someone whose purpose in life was to fake deaths with high-end or third-world-class methods, and thus with the unfortunate demise of Mr. Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier set Death Drive free, more now than ever before. This is why you were not told about my grand escape by your information service, although while we’re on the topic of information providers it should be noted that word on the streets is that you have been out of touch with your family and probably wouldn’t have gotten the gossip. If it existed, anyway.” 
“So you came after Ryo?” 

A disgusting snicker too sharp for my ears pierced through them, all the way to my brains.

“Not really. I mean, I might kill her too, what with her being a pretentious nuisance of a prey last time, but the one I’m after is you. You really annoyed me when you got involved, because it’s one thing to be against a kid and the other is to be against a living legend who is, as all of them, just a fake.” 
“It’s not my fault if you got worried thinking you were clashing against a genius detective or something. That is the kind of thing that only happens in movies. You should be thankful it was just another kid instead.” 
“Cause that’s exactly what you are, right? You lying demon. You fooled me into thinking that once already but I’ll get you this time, and in the only way it could hurt you: I’ll kill them all, and only because of you. You don’t get the hero’s death you crave for. You will be the only one who survives as everything burns to the ground. Mark my words, KEN: I’ll make your purgatory life hell.” 
“Still obsessed with imagery, I see. I know you like playing games. Tell me the target and we’ll race over who gets to it first while trying to catch each other.” 
“Tired of that. Let’s do something else.” 
“Like what?” 
“You try and find me hiding within school grounds before your teacher bleeds to death.” 

I knew what my next line was before Kouma Yon whispered it in my ear. 

“No.” 
“…” 
“I refuse. Do you understand that? I won’t become a sitting duck for you and I won’t waste my time over this. If you’re going to kill her, just do it. Let’s see what else you can do.” 
“For starters I can kill more students!” 

Getting more people involved was not the most pleasant of scenarios for several reasons, but I didn’t need to think about it because I was still getting all the answers ready-made.

“People I care even less about? What are you, twelve? If you’re going to negotiate on terms I should bet my life on, you ought to be able to make a better proposition than ‘run around with no idea whatsoever of where I am while I watch you from afar’. The stakes aren’t high on your end, thus this bet means nothing to me. I don’t care about catching you in particular; I just want you out of my way. You on the other hand, want my head. See how we’re different?” 
“…” 
“For me, it’s easy to achieve what I want. Kill her right now, I’ll just spread the word that an armed lunatic is within school grounds and Japanese police will be here in moments, having all those issues with guns and what not. They might be no good with conceiving ways to prevent you from escaping but you know damn well I am. In my case, the ‘no casualties’ condition is a bonus, not a goal. For you, it’s now a very important thing that I am the only person who knows you are out of prison and can put you back there for good, if not aim for a ‘special case’ informal death sentence using connections with other inmates or wardens. You don’t know my limitations, but I know yours.” 
“I know one. You can never kill again, KEN.” 

So he ''did'' get information from Lang Shou. That explained it all.

“Imprecise, therefore incorrect; if that’s all you know about that story, you’re in for a surprise. So, are you going to kill her? I thought you wanted to play with me.” 
“What are your terms?” 
“Oh, now we’re talking.” I sighed just like Kouma Yon did. “I need an hour to work on my side before the game starts. I’ll try to gather spies from the people here, students and parents alike, and brief them just enough information so they can be useful but not enough for them to get in my way as I have full intention of reaching you myself. Keep in mind that while you can take them down if they approach you consider that I’ll find you easier if they are my spies because I’ll know who went on which route and then... well, it’s up to you. I won’t give any more tips, already did my part in making this game more interesting. Are you with me so far?” 
“You have twenty minutes. I’ll call again when it’s time.” 
“You are in no condition of negoti-” 

Call disconnected.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma sounded like she was trying to be careful with her words. “You know why he did that, right?” 
“She’s already wounded, so he doesn’t have the time.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Guess we don’t have the time to waste either. By the way, you could tell I was bluffing, right?” 
“I know you were, but only because you approached me during those twenty minutes in the previous timeline looking pretty desperate, or at least as desperate as you get when you’re into something. I also know you could easily have been serious about it.” Matter-of-factly she just implied I’d allow murder to happen, just like that. If she thought that way, arguing was useless. “He held quite a grudge towards you.” 
“Not personal: I think he is on bad terms with everyone he ever crossed his path but I happen to be one of the few who are still alive.” 
“And he’d go out of the way to his freedom just to take ‘one of them’ out? You’re special to him. Whether you lied about your past or not is irrelevant at this point because you clearly did something at some point.” Kouma was serious and I couldn’t really blame her for being worried. “Koukishin Shinzou, if that is your real name, who are you?” 

I had to be honest albeit not necessarily specific.

“It is my ‘real’ name, just not my birth name; I’m adopted. I was taken by the most normal couple in the world who just happened to be the odd ones out in this absurdly unusual family. This should be as far as my connection would go to the weird circumstances, but I’ve gotten into some messed up stuff of my own and ended up making a name for myself as an individual rather than a son of the household. Because of that, people know my nicknames but most of them don’t know me. I know people.” 

She seemed satisfied with that vague answer of mine.

“I like you better now.” 
“Figured.” 
“You would, wouldn’t you? Before I tell you about the plan, tell me, so-called ‘hunter of monsters’: what good are you against a human?” 

Yes, that alone proved her time travel allegation even further. As if I needed any more proof despite the scripted lines and all.

''It could have all been a ruse; the lines could have been arranged on the other side too.'' 
''She could be working with Death Drive too, they all could.''

Let’s not go there; spiraling into paranoia is just what I don’t need right now.

“Good enough when it comes to deception.” 
“I’ll take your word on that.” An ironic reply considering what I just told her, but her voice had no sarcasm in it. Then again, I did tell her she’s not human to me. “Here is the plan: Ryo, dressed as you, will walk around school and act the same way you did in the first timeline following the script. Akane will keep your mobile phone and play the audio clips you will record with Megumi’s loop pedal and one of the microphones you used for the live performance. Whenever the phone with Akane gets a call, Ryo in disguise picks up too: synchrony is everything.” 

Let me suspend disbelief for a moment and assume that she got all of my movements down in exact words on paper, let alone in a way it couldn’t be misunderstood by a reader such as Ryo. Or that we can get high-school girls to help us pull a swindle or an operation such as that, just because they’re friends. Let’s point out a simple flaw first, save the awful implications for later.

“Hold on. What about ambience?” 
“What?” 
“Lack or different ambient noise on our end will make the recording stand out in places where he can both watch me and see what’s going on too. The recording won’t match the environments even when there’s no noise because of the room natural reverb too. D.D. might be an oddball but it will be hard to keep the act for long. Can we just redirect calls easily?” 
“Well, I wouldn’t know… it is your phone after all.” 
“Never tried, bought this new model right before coming to Japan and just had my number transferred.” Decided to omit the detail my previous one was eaten by a harpy from Kouma, who was just too much of a skeptic to take it even as a joke, which it was not, but would be a better reaction than hers anyway. I messed with it for a while. “Yes, this phone can.” 
“Alright, hand it to me. I’ll just set our speed dials’ first position to be each other.” 
“Good.” I was so focused I didn’t even want to make a joke about that. “I’ll wake Ryo up and brief her in. Can you get Megumi and Akane?” 
“No Rin?” 
“Her father is probably suspicious of me already, no need to add salt to the wound; what if we involve her and he follows us, only to be hurt or ruin the scheme? We know Akane’s mom isn’t like that.” 
“I see.” 
“We just have to hope they’ll cooperate with us, but if you say it’s for me Megumi might agree and Akane will come along.” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m absolutely certain I can get Akane to cooperate: it’s Megumi we will have to hope will come along, actually.” 

That made me confused.

“How can you be so sure you can mobilize them just like that? Did you talk to them about this before?” 
“Oh, not really. It is because of Ryo’s conspiracy.” 
“What are you talking about?” 
“Somehow, she guessed this whole ‘I want to protect you so I will get away from you but in a way it seems like we just grew apart because maybe we weren’t so close after all’ thing was your game early on and let, in her own words, the plot build up for a most cathartic finale. I aided her keeping track of your behavior with the café therapy sessions, but before you ask I actually am working on my thesis. When you told me about Megumi and Akane, I knew who we had to ally with to make sure you would be alone at some point during the festival. Then Akane gave us the information about the band ending plans and Ryo made sure you would not be told about it before the actual day so you’d be absolutely ready for some clashing morals and romantic angst when she confronted you, other than no place for you to just run away to. This is why we got Rin’s father to wait by the backstage and, although entirely unaware of our gambit, he was useful when it came to intercepting her and making you leave alone. What Akane doesn’t know is that her mother also indirectly helped the plan because she talked to Rin’s father a couple times before, what with being the only dedicated flower shop owner and all. I happened to overhear them talking while you played and while he was a little shocked that his beloved daughter hid something like that from him for so long, the hippie knocked some sense in him with a ‘boys will be boys’ kind of speech that reminded him of his youth days. In the end, we relied on luck a little but her sting worked.” 
“…Shiina Ryo out-conned me?” I laughed honestly from my heart. “Dear God, I’m going to marry her.” 

This was kind of intricate for a beginner so it made me wonder if the reason why they don’t seem to get along with other girls in school went beyond anti-social behavior. Another part of the explanation brought forth an even more unsettling question.

If it was all just part of the con she pulled on me, why did her Shugoshin go Overdrive? The plan would have ended there with the kiss; she should be happy but instead broke down. Sure that wasn’t what I expected from our first kiss either but it was because of the whole world fading to white and whatnot, not because it was such a bad kiss. Perhaps I’m mistaking the ‘cause’ here: let’s say it even wasn’t because of the kiss per se, but rather the strong emotion she felt triggering others in chain reaction after a period of bottling up, including the real cause. But what could that be? The emotional overload of a hundred of small problems or something else much bigger? If I were around, I probably would know.

“I’m sure she’d like that.” 

A certain fashionista I knew had an ennui face and I realized that, under the circumstances, it looked like I just spaced out imagining a married life with Ryo.

“Kouma, it was a joke.” 
“I know. Me being jealous is a constant rather than a common variable, so you just have to watch out for how much and not if I am or not; that is a sure thing.” 
“Talking about jealousy, it might be a little too rude to ask but do you think Megumi knows Akane likes her that way?” 
“Who’s to tell? One way to look at it is that she doesn’t have a clue; other implies she does and doesn’t want to reject the friend who gave her a home when she was in need. My personal guess, and I will take it as fact until proven otherwise, is that she knows and regardless of seeing her as a possible romantic pair or not will not move a finger until Akane takes the courage to go after her and confess properly. Which would be brilliant in a simple and effortless way, if you ask me: works if she just wants her friend to grow up or if she needs a more reliable and sure-of-herself lover.” 

How specific.

“Is that what you wanted the dynamic between Ryo and you to be? Good grief, Kouma, you’re such a maiden at heart.” 
“…” 
“Liking me or not, you wouldn’t have a problem if I got offended by being played that way and didn’t want to be involved with you guys anymore one way or another. Not only had you enabled her behavior, which could end up really bad, you also told me the whole scheme so that I could react the way I wanted. It was a matter of free will to you, and you were sure that one way or another I’d use mine to walk away if I had the chance. ” I sighed deeply. “So your personal conspiracy failed, in a myriad of ways.” 

I kind of wanted her to get mad but she just stared at me.

“It was an experiment. Experiments never actually fail, you know. They provide results one way or the other, even if the results are that you can’t achieve the ones you want by using that method; that outcome that could come across as bad narrows down the search and brings us closer to what can be called Science.” 
“So did you find out the answer to your question?” 
“It’s ‘yes’.” 
“And did you find the question to your answer?” 
“It was ‘whether I loved you because you were like her or because you are you’.” 
“...in a conditional question, marked by ‘or’, you replied ‘yes’ and that’s it?” 
“Exactly.” 
“OK then.” If that was good enough for her, it was for me too. “Enough talk; let’s pull a con on a convict.” 

A yawn was heard behind me but I had the impression she had been awake for a while.

“Shin-tsu.” Ryo said, half of the mouth still covered by her hand. “You’ve been waiting to say that for your whole life, weren’t you?” 

I didn’t bother denying it.

== Part 2 ==

The five of us stood on the rooftop as we prepared to perform as a different sort of band than the one I played with earlier and I felt like mood of the day was definitely crescendo.

To make things simple: I had two sorts of drama, kissed someone, had a visit from the past, slammed that bass with a progressive/extreme metal group, someone I cared for was in danger, got into a fight and it was an established fact my friends schemed a lot too. The festival was an emotional rollercoaster yet I didn’t feel that awake in months so it was hard to complain; I really missed the thrill and I hated myself for it.

Not just for that, but whatever.

The two remaining members of our posse joined without making many questions, but this probably had to with me activating The Darkest in front of their eyes and showing them the absence-of-flames I could summon. Akane was weird enough on her own, but what surprised me was how Megumi seemed badly shocked for a split-second and then calming down only to get hyper enough to ask why I didn’t use the visually exquisite anti-pyrotechnic ability as special effects during our concert.

The moment Kouma handed each one of us the Bluetooth earpieces and made sure we all had each other in speed dial I remembered how Megumi pawned her acoustic guitar and realized what Kouma and Ryo meant by how money mattered: it was easy to see how someone who for a while now have everything just handed to him would have trouble understanding the concept of not having enough monetary resources available.

What I couldn’t understand was why Kouma had two phones on her; it would be easy to comprehend if the number she gave any us was of the new one, but she did not even mention it even though it was on sight. The second model seemed very simple in comparison to her fashionable main one, not even from a well-known brand: it looked completely bootleg if I ever saw one, and I’ve seen my share of counterfeit merchandise through the years. What could be the purpose of that, if not to avoid using her day number for the calls?

Not the time to digress, I know.

The roles were simply established by default: Ryo would take care of distracting Death Drive by pretending to be me; Akane was the closest we could get to a gadget person and would operate both the phone that would actually connect to DD’s when he called and the loop machine we’d use to record my lines so I did not have to pick the phone and give away the plan somehow; Megumi would provide assistance to Akane but her job was to be the field agent that would make sure I could get unnoticed to the room we already knew he was in thanks to Kouma having been through this day once before; Kouma was our information source and mastermind for that operation. And me?

My job was, according to the fashionista, the same I chose on my own during the first timeline: to infiltrate and neutralize the bastard before he could do more than merely hurt our teacher.

Needless to say, I was uneasy. Thrilled in a sense, sure, but it was an unusual situation for that kind of mission: we had a ‘who’, the exact location of ‘where’ and more than enough data on ‘when’. Our real trouble was ‘how’ and we barely had any time to discuss it: it was either following Kouma’s lead or storming like a bull and risk Reikoku-sensei’s life.

I did not have much of a choice given the circumstances: I was offered a clean way out which would save me and others and the other option was letting Death Drive have his way.

I’d never.

With Kouma’s plan, Ryo would wear my clothes and walk around school in the same fashion as I did in the first timeline to keep it from diverging into new events due to the Butterfly Effect (not something I thought was entirely possible, but would have to work for a while somehow) and keep the day as predictable as possible until I could sneak behind DD and rescue Reikoku-sensei. This would have been all fun and games if it wasn’t for one detail: if my clothes were with Ryo, then whose clothes would I wear to successfully disguise myself in a school that was pretty much girl-only?

Yeah, pretty obvious and not particularly pleasant.

So they lent me some of Megumi’s, say, ‘hair’: one set of medium length red extensions, and despite having seen a lot of stuff ever since I was born I have to admit seeing that at least part of Megumi’s look was actually detachable and under the several layers of extension her hairstyle was essentially a sidecut freaked me out for some reason. Each of the extensions was placed under the sides of my own hair giving me an edgy look along with the side-swept fringe held by a bobby pin at the end. Ryo’s thick-frame glasses weren’t half as strong as I assumed they would be, so neither of us should have issues being with or without them. Kouma did my makeup; I told her ‘no heavy stuff’, but it’s not like we had the time for her to overproduce me anyway and the key was not to get too much attention, which I assume would be harder if I looked like Megumi did every day.

A little padding on the uniform to make up for my absolute lack of bosom helped although it would take a lot more than ‘a little’ padding if we were to simulate Ryo’s, so a few safety pins had to be placed on strategic points too. While they talked about my transformation on the go I realized my idea that Ryo was entirely oblivious to girly things such as makeup was unfounded and made me realize she probably used it a lot more than I noticed, which made me happy because being ignorant to a girl’s effort in cosmetics was pretty much a ‘guy thing’. And why did that make me, a self-proclaimed feminist, happy, you ask?

Because it took me one look at the mirror to realize they turned me into a hipster girl.

It kind of offended me deep down that to disguise Ryo as me they seemed to have a little more difficulty to make her look manlier, going as far as trimming her hair a little and using plastic to bind her generous-to-say-the-least bosom, tasks which she wasn’t particularly thrilled about. Still, despite the many bad things that could come out of it, there was no denying Kouma was right about her bone structure being the most similar to mine of the four girls; she looked like an idealized me so much it got to the point of making me look less like myself. Yet it wasn’t like I didn’t prefer her as a girl: there was just no way I looked that good as a boy.

She caught me staring at her and gave me the smile I missed so much in my life.

“Did you like it? Put a ring on it.” She extended her hand to me as those waiting for an engagement proposal but took it back after a single second and I knew it wasn’t just because that reference felt a little out of place. “Wait, I’m the guy now... this should be my job, traditionally. Go on, give me your hand. No… should I be on my knees while doing this, Shin-tsu?” 

Instant smirk.

“You ask as if I was the expert in proposals.” 
“Well, you sure flirt a lot amongst other things.” Ouch… With that critical hit blow I frowned instantly. I knew that was coming but it didn’t make taking the damage any easier. Guess I deserved that and the following five hundred remarks on that subject I surely would get over the course of months. “Forget it, I shouldn’t take things personal now. Let’s just move on. Our teacher’s life is at stake, it was shallow of me to waste time. I’m sorry.” 

No.

Postponing stuff or making things happen sooner than they should was what put us in trouble in the first place. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. The time was right then and letting the moment pass instead of hitting the iron while it was hot was a risk I was not willing to take.

“No, I’m sorry. You have the right to feel that way. I should have treated you as an equal and I apologize for not doing so. This is why we became friends in the first place, so I shouldn’t underestimate you and think you can’t take whatever I am dealing with. Concern does not justify concealing information, and thereby this offender offers a truce.” 
“On what terms?” 
“I promise to never hide anything from you again.” 

Dramatic pause, as expected of her.

“What is it in exchange for? Forgiveness?” 
“Forgiveness isn’t something that can be bought with a deal, no matter what the State might say about pardoning someone in exchange for information on others. Either it blooms on its own or it’s bound to be taken back in the future. Remission is more of a realistic procedure, if you ask me, so I’m aware I deserve some consequences whether I regret what I did or not because I wronged you.” I had to stop myself from going off the tangent too much. “What I want is the same of you: you are not to withhold information from me. If we are to stand side by side as equals, you need to stop hiding things too. You’re in some sort of trouble and not asking for help. While that is commendable as an effort, it means nothing if you can’t get past it on your own. Kouma and I, we’re here. If you need us, just ask.” 
“Just that?” 

I nodded.

“Just that.” Gently I took her hand and held it, ready for a shook. “Truce?” 

Rather than taken aback, she seemed peaceful like a burden was taken off her back.

“Yeah, I guess we really are the same. Truce.” 

We shook hands in a rather firm way but if it hurt her she did not let it show. Despite having kissed her earlier surely that was the moment of the day when I felt connected to her the most.

One interpersonal issue solved, all that was left was to save Reikoku-sensei.

I looked at the script she wrote for Ryo and realized why the idea was, at least to some extent, executable: it was made of references and had several drawings. Every movement, pose and line she had to lip synch had very specific written observations that tied with sentences and such in TV series, manga, movies, books and even real life people such as celebrities and politicians. In face of such bizarre script one cannot help but wonder if what brought Kouma Yon and Shiina Ryo together was not something particularly deep and poetical but the fact one of them is so derivative she cannot do anything without comparisons and the other has an insane crave for knowledge especially of the pop culture variant: maybe the initial spark of their relationship was indeed because they were, for each other, the only ones who could fully understand what the other was talking about.

I could comprehend that well, creating a bond over being extremely similar in one particular aspect. Surprisingly, I could even rationalize how Kouma managed to make a script with such a tremendous degree of descriptive information about my actions embedded in it.

This was only possible because Kouma’s ability was pretty specific.

She called it ‘It Keeps Happening’ and stated that the moment she activated it like I did she found out it worked like this: every time she sleeps she creates/overwrites her ‘save point’, to which she can return her mind to but not her body or any items. Kouma wakes up at the exact same moment that she did after using her power but once she sets a ‘save point’ by waking up, she cannot go back to a previous one ever again. Thus as long as she stays awake she can always use her ability to revert time on a personal level and rewrite the timeline.

Which did not, in any way, seem to match the alternative explanation she gave the other girls, that her power was to predict the future and ‘expel’ the script for someone. Whether she lied to them because we didn’t have the time to explain or because of a special reason she had not to be open about her power, I would just play along. Maybe it was a secondary effect of her time travelling power, I could not tell.

''Personally, I find that all to be a little tricky.'' 

Why exactly? I’d like to have your input on this.

''It’s obvious she’s something else, for she mastered her Shugoshin already to a point there isn’t a trace of it other than the power.'' 
''However, to do all that on the first time?''

Mastered her Shugoshin? So she doesn’t get voices in her head anymore?

''Don’t assume everyone does just because you do: my species isn’t known for sentience, or at least what you humans would consider sentience.''

What do you mean, then?

''Consider this: let’s say I am not the only of my species who actively thinks and talks, especially to the human host, and the other one is just like me.''

But it would be using the same logic you just condemned!

''Not precisely and it’s just a postulation so no need to get that upset: if I did not inform you of the full extent and limitations of your power yet, why would hers?''

…do you really want answers?

''Possible solutions.''

Alright then. How about ‘different personalities’? No, you talk too much about species, chances are you’ll disregard that and say you guys work on some sort of ant-like communist regime or something. Would it be too far from the truth to assume our powers were supposed to just keep developing instead of being stable from the start?

''You really can avoid seeing possibilities that are in your face when you don’t want to.''

Paranoia can be used against you too. Thinking bad of one of my ‘best friend’ persons is bad enough; two would be too much stress to handle at this point. Unless I acquire enough evidence for it to sink in as slowly as it can to avoid the complete shock, I’ll deny it with all I have.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma uttered to bring me back from my internal monologue. “It’s time.” 
“Understood.” I coughed on command, trying to get rid of the weird feeling at the back of my throat just to realize it was a psychosomatic symptom. “Standing by, waiting for your command.”

She stood still, visibly uneasy about what to do next.

“Are you sure? I could simply work as a source of data. This plan is a derivation of yours in the first timeline, you know.” 
“Whether it is or not, it doesn’t matter: the shortest the distance between a leader and the information necessary to guarantee the success, the better. You call the shots this time, Kouma; I’ll trust your judgment and follow your lead.” 
“I’ll definitely save you.”

Her bold statement made me ponder on how the events of the first timeline turned out; it shouldn’t be me who would be in danger, and if there was danger directed towards me it probably would be directed to Ryo, which made Kouma’s line even more unusual. She would not put Ryo in danger for my sake, and it was her plan. So what the hell did that mean?

“Wha-” 
“Everyone, on your positions!” Contrasting with the previous uneasiness, Kouma sounded no less confident than a general. “Ryo, go downstairs and wait for the simultaneous call to move outside as planned. Take your medicine as soon as you get there so we’ll have at least one hour before you’re drowsy or in pain.” 
"Aye aye Capt'n!" 

My favorite person in the whole world did an army salute and left.

“Akane, man your station.” She ordered to the silent girl who had already taken the messy fringe of hair out of the way of her hawk-ish eyes and only nodded in reply. The kung fu fighting fashionista then gazed at the easily amused fashion disaster. “Megumi, it’s not too late for you to back out.” 
“I don’t know much about what’s happening but if there’s something huge going on and a friend needs me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Megumi looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up. “Just take me out for burgers later and we’ll be even, okay?” 

She was quick to get angry, reckless, clueless whether it was fashion or business, irresponsible and had double standards; she was also quite normal compared to the others and a good friend who would accept hers gladly and fight anyone for their sake with what little weapons she had. I liked her a lot and was just thankful Kouma’s plan would keep Megumi away from the actual action rather than going back and forth and providing assistance to Akane, or at least away enough that she could not try anything ‘heroic’; it’s people like her, those who look in a way too good for this sinful earth, who die first.

“Shin-tsu.” 
“Yes, Kouma?” 
“Go.”

At which point I ran across the rooftop and threw myself to soar over the fence of the building; thus began the operation.

== Part 3 ==

The reason why I jumped was because I needed to be sure I’d be out of Death Drive’s sight and the only ways I could get to the floor on the side of the building he could not watch were by either breaking down locked doors to get access to the windows or doing what I did: he could not, in any way, see two KEN walking out the building door or the gambit would be ruined.

I used The Darkest in the same way I did inside Ryo’s dream-like subdimension on the first activation, by having the anti-flames in a layer enveloping my body instead of condensing it on a single spot. I guessed it would cushion my fall or at least let me heal faster than normal so I could move unnoticed by an alternative path Kouma had traced for me on a map of the school (and would possibly have hand-waved as part of her ability had I asked about it).

Frankly, my expectations were exceeded: in such short distance of four floors it actually reduced my terminal velocity to nearly nothing mid-air, making me not ‘land’ as much as ‘gently hover’ to the ground. Gravity found a new way to mess with me: just when I started learning about Physics in order to bend Space and Time properly, something like this happens…

It was out of my comfort-zone to say the least.

My first impulse was to look around and make sure that, despite what Kouma Yon told me, there was no one around at the exact time. It did not surprise me to see she was right again, although it was obvious she’d be considering the scripted phone call and all.

After placing the Bluetooth device on my ear I stretched just to be sure my body was okay, not for the first time after the ‘losing an arm’ incident, and started running through the route she drew to me. As I passed by trees and waited precise amounts of time to hurry to the next pre-marked stop while taking care not to slip or fall, as to ensure the timing would remain perfect and I wouldn’t be seen by anyone who didn’t see me in the first timeline which could unleash a chain reaction of magnificent proportions and hellish results.

Scouting to avoid others was easier with the enhanced awareness I had now that my Shugoshin was active: the less I focused on my vision the more I could sense the thermal levels around me and tell the difference, which explained quite a lot on the subject of how Ayaka’s could fight so viciously or the disorientation of the monster in Ryo’s dream-world when I got rid of that particular trace with The Darkest.

There was a lot at stake and I could only wonder if I still had the skill to make something like that happen or, if I didn’t, I could use the new acquired one to ensure the best outcome possible. Thus I began to ponder on it, because if Kouma, Ayaka and even that psychopath guy had somewhat complex ones I should get to consider its limitations to raise my chances of success, which meant saving someone’s life.

If I were to describe it based on appearance, I’d say it was just improbably malleable black anti-fire. Low damage but a lot of variety in possibilities of usage, along with unusual and unlikely sub-effect while being very exhaustive: it was hard to believe my power meant for surveillance alone or long-term fighting.

''Don’t fool yourself, the purpose was clear.'' 
''It was made for you after all.''

If you mean ‘assassination and deception’, I have to argue it’s only half right.

''Like I said, don’t fool yourself: this is tailor-made.'' 
''Just strong enough to kill but not the kind of power you’d bring to a battle if you could help it in most forms, and visually flashy looking enough to keep others away and yourself concealed from the most dangerous enemies’ radar may their eyes not be on you.''

So the reason why my attack power is so limited it’s because it’s a very broad ability?

''Think of it this way: there’s a limit to a Shugoshin’s power and it is inversely proportional to the area it covers.'' 
''The broader your range is in reality warping, the less you will of this limited power spread over the span of it.'' 
''Still with me so far?''

Yes.

''Good, good.'' 
''Now consider that you have to fight others with the same growth potential, probably to death: in a situation like that, what do you think would be the obvious way to spend your points?''

To focus on a particular deathly ability and raise it to its maximum potential compressing all of it on a single point: a better way would be with 80-85% on the specific ability and the rest on a sub-effect, like a ‘blade’ covering a particular area.

''Correct: is your ability one of those?''

No.

''And why do you guess?''

Because I don’t need 80% on the specific power: I just need to be strong enough not to be instantly killed by monsters and to overcome any human, so I can trick and defeat them because that’s how I fight. Therefore I can spend the rest on more valuable effects of it rather than in raw power, which would be a waste in my case. In comparison to the ‘blade’, mine would be more of a ‘bamboo with spikes’; in direct confrontation it would break, but the thing is I am not looking for a clash of weapons.

''You aim for the opponent’s meat.''

That’s exactly where it works just fine, because if I absolutely have to use something like that I’d rather hit just once.

''You mean in battle or in life?''

You know the answer already.

''As always with you, ‘both’.''

The phone I exchanged with Ryo for mine vibrated once and I did not need to pick it up because I knew it was Kouma making sure I was ready for the big halt. For the next 45 seconds I was supposed to stand by until the mass of people would pass and I could move again. Would have been an eternity of moments if I didn’t know that I would be able to see Ryo in action, as this was the one time in the route I was planned to follow when I’d ‘meet’ her.

I watched her walk and gesticulate with my phone in her ear, mostly as I would and sometimes as I should. Seeing her as a part of something like this had a certain appeal I won’t bother to deny even with the danger: it was like she was made for it, and I hoped she was feeling better by then. Sure there was a conflict in her life we did not have the time to talk about yet, but she finally made the transition from normal highschooler to girl with powers who cons criminals; as far as I was concerned, she dreamed about that day for years and envied me for it, although it’s arguable whether she honestly believed what I said or just appreciated the stories. Ironically as it might sound, I wanted her life too.

Everything was going according to the plan.

Ryo had been following Kouma’s instructions; Akane operated with surgical precision the loop pedal with the necessary snippets of my voice; Megumi would stay assisting her and getting the calls from Kouma but she was actually our trump card as she would be our secondary field agent in case something went wrong; Kouma would walk around unnoticed too one step ahead of us every time and ensure the situation would follow the planned route at whatever cost.

However, the moment I realized I thought ‘everything was going according to the plan’ I knew I should have known better than this and got my heart more ready for a disaster than usual and this is coming from someone who lives by ‘prepare for the worst, hope for the best’.

So I stood by.

That’s when I saw Rin approaching Ryo and knew it would all go to hell because Rin did not know that was not me and she had a certain look on her face as she held her father’s hand and went towards the girl disguised as Koukishin Shinzou. I dreaded that face so much.

The ‘teehee, I’m going to introduce you to my parents’ face. And it’s not just girls who do that kind of stuff, acting mature and cold to hide insecurity or more specifically the fear of rejection, so I couldn’t really blame her. Regardless of gender, some people are just closer to our conceptions of ‘maidens’ at heart than ‘commanders’, although nothing says one cannot be both. But Rin was one severely repressed broken bird and I could tell the cathartic performance and sickly sweet talk with her father gave her and injection of positivism and endorphin rush.

Of all times, she had to act like a love-struck teenager at that point: when lives are at risk, when I’m dealing with all sorts of trouble, when I had lost a very important thing to me, while she knew I had unfinished business with someone else. She had to pick today, because she was in a better mood than usual, to make her move. Rin had to choose this day to be like that. This only made me think of how Rin’s constant need to impose the mood was because she couldn’t just read it and that was the only way she’d know what was going on.

But what bothered me the most was to read her father’s lips from distance as they got closer and I could only try and predict what would happen at the moment she’d wonder why there was a girl wearing the clothes of her romantic interest and looking exactly like him while ruining the plan’s perfectly synchronized timing.

“…Rin, did you say Koukishin?” 

Yeah, I should have considered that even in a smaller city, as long as I’m in Japan some people might know the name ‘Koukishin’. That could mean a lot of trouble.

While I was busy trying to figure out a way to get us out of that situation without making everything so far be a waste a flash of colors, albeit slightly less colorful than usual, passed by and did something that affected us all.

It is always a matter of perspective.

I saw Megumi kiss Ryo and ruin the plan in great scale while doing her best so it wouldn’t be ruined by someone else; Ryo’s eyes opening in complete shock, still too lacking in field experience to know that the fictional rule of ‘whenever there is a plan in sight something is bound to go terribly wrong’ actually applied to reality as well; Akane probably saw something that angered her in a way, but implied she’d have a chance in the future because Megumi did not seem entirely adverse to kissing girls; Kouma was bound to be murderously furious by now one way or another and in the most potentially damaging example of all, Rin saw a Shin-tsu she would approach being taken in the way she wanted the most by someone who could not rival her in class, leadership or guitar playing.

I guess rich people get heartbroken too.

Knowing just thinking that made me a horrible person inside, I watched her consternation-filled eyes with a similar look her father gave her. It was stupid of her to expect more when the boundaries were established; it was idealistic to think something that started so wicked and wrong could become a proper relationship despite its roots. No one said teen rebellion is all sweetness, and there is a reason why growth is necessary. I still felt bad for her to get that kind of shocking view but at the same time I knew she had it coming one way or another. Not a matter of ‘what’, but ‘how’.

Rin didn’t run away crying, instead just staying there and looking back as he guided her away on the opposite direction back to what was left of the festival. Megumi ran while picking up her phone soon after the kiss, like it was a hit-and-run operation. Ryo just stood there but picked up the phone when D.D. called ‘me’ once again.

And this, well, this is when stuff got really, really weird.

In case things went out of script, the calls should be transferred to the phone I was holding so I could improvise lines for damage control. No one eve worried about my talent to do so, and not just because I took pride in being able to perform impromptu whether the subject was music or life, but because when I said ‘it was just something I came up with at the spur-of-the-moment’ I meant ‘I pondered over every possible scenario ever beforehand like every good comedian or performer should’.

You don’t just go on a stage and play whatever is on your mind, you execute combinations of riffs and licks you trained for quite a while altering them to fit the musical scale and overall idea of the composition; if it truly was randomness they wanted, any member of the audience would do. Improvisation took a lot of preparation.

I was ready for anything Death Drive could throw at me and all Ryo had to do was make sure he wouldn’t notice her lips weren’t in synchrony with the voice as it was a three-way call with her end muted. Well, almost anything.

His scripted line didn’t change at all, as if it was pre-recorded.

I panicked and felt like hanging up immediately, but managed to keep it until the exact point where the conversation was supposed to break on the script. I knew for sure that was virtually impossible: Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect simply do not work that way. It was absolutely preposterous to consider things would go smoothly on track after Megumi’s intervention, to the point where only bad time-travel novels would ignore the change in pace.

Let me say this once and for all: there is no such thing as a clean and easy time travel plot, under no circumstances. The moment you act outside of what was supposed to, the whole scenario is bound to change sooner or later because of cause and effect, like dominoes falling one by one. Hell, even having anyone who didn’t help me in the first timeline collaborate with us now was bound to affect the scenario quickly, for they would not be where they were and that would affect the actions and reactions of other persons as a direct consequence shaping the world into something unpredictable.

To have Death Drive say the exact same line despite all that change made this whole thing entirely unbelievable.

While a ripple in the water takes a while to affect something in large scale, no one with a brain could deny a disturbance like that had to make things go off script, because a) he saw something he didn’t in the first timeline, which would alter the course of information on his brain and b) the timing of the plan was done for and unless he had a script of his own to follow. Yet such an impossible ‘coincidence’ took place therefore it was safe to assume the game had to be even more rigged than I initially thought. Whom it was supposed to help… now that was an absolute mystery.

It’s times like this I hate mystery even without capital letters.

No matter how much I didn’t like the idea of even pondering on the subject, Kouma could have easily set me up. It made sense. She could have been sided with Death Drive to begin with or even planning to catch the two of us, killing two birds with one stone. A two-way trick; I trusted her to some extent, but they don’t call it a ‘confidence game’ over nothing.

But the silliest thing I could do at that point was to quit.

“Kouma, he’s cheating.” I said when she picked up after two and a half rings. Guess she didn’t see this one coming. “He might be really killing her and getting ready to escape right now. Hell, she might be already dead.” 

And it would be my fault.

“How do you know?” 

Naturally a lie came to mind.

“Feedback.” 
“What?” Kouma’s voice was getting breathy. “What do you mean?” 
“I heard feedback from the noise that happened by my side on his end. He’s not holding the phone anymore; it’s on speaker mode now. It wasn’t before so I take it Death Drive probably got his hands busy.” 

Such an obvious perversion of the truth yet if she outright denied its possibility it would be like she walked with a shirt with ‘traitor’ written all over it. Her reply was unimpressive.

“There was no feedback whatsoever, what are you talking about?” 

A creature with no creativity could not do much other than try and buy time. I would not let her, especially if Reikoku-sensei’s life was in danger.

“I’m going in.” 
“Shin-tsu, don’t! You’ll ruin everything! Stick to the pl-” 

But I hung up and ran fast enough to feel my lungs burning before she could say anything else. I knew it would ruin her plan that was supposed to protect us all, but I’d do it. I’d walk into his trap. Why?

Because ‘me finding out the scheme’ was certainly not in her calculations one way or another, but there was a possible outcome that would save Reikoku-sensei even if Kouma was actually being honest. It was simple, crude and effective.

All I needed to do was to assassinate Death Drive.

“GUH!” 

The taste and texture of bile filled the inside of my mouth and escaped it a millisecond before I could cover my lips with my crossed hands. I burned feverish and felt excruciating pain in every muscle or joint I had, my mind wavering and heart pulsing like a collapsing temple. As I watched the world spin around me I knew it was hopeless; if that was how broken I was, if that was how I got whenever I just considered murdering someone not possessed by an entity…

…I would only have one shot.

''Waiting for your command.''

“Huh.” I spit the vomit on the ground and bit my inferior lip hard enough to feel my canines pierce it. “SET ME ABLAZE, THE DARKEST!”

Halfway the growl the body of the young man some knew as Koukishin Shinzou was entirely embraced by the ghastly absence-of-flames and, as if watching someone else, I saw the position of my hands turn from wide open to claws. Anatomically speaking, my body contorted to an aerodynamically improbable wolf-like stance before I let myself run like the predator I needed to become for that sinister task I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform without losing my sanity over it.

The psychosomatic effects never stopped afflicting me and every step was grief, but I had the strength to keep on moving in me; where I was getting it from, I had not the faintest clue. And even without Kouma I could have found out on my own exactly where the egomaniac monster would hide and that was where I was heading. The room in the school he’d claim was made for him. The room that belonged to a club that was no longer.

The one with a plaque that had ‘d.m.c.’, the initials of both his birth name and our club, written on it.

An unpleasant coincidence, very much like me getting there and realizing the plaque was no longer there. He saw it, knew I’d look for it and probably took it somewhere else in the building to make sure I’d follow him.

Which I would instantly if I didn’t have to get Megumi out of my way for her own good.

“Bro, what the heck is going on? When that Kouma girl called I thought she was going to chew my… but yeah, she just wanted me to come here and meet you. She said you needed help.” No, Megumi, Kouma wanted you to delay or stop me. “What can I do?” 

Kouma knew it was too dangerous for Megumi to come along. Of all of us Megumi was, against all odds when it came to looks, the most ‘normal’ and defenseless one: even without powers, Akane was paranoid and sneaky enough to be dangerous. What could Megumi do, really? Annoy the guy with bass music she didn’t use the correct nomenclature for? It was just electro house, for Heaven’s sake: adding wobble bass and random samples does not change the genre.

“That’s right, I need your help.” Denying it would only make it harder for me. “Do you still have that golden paper clip?” 
“Wait, dude, that was months ago.” 
“Do you?” 

She quickly searched her bag and it didn’t surprise me that someone as obsessed with oddities (because even though the story about her eyes is probably true, it’s obvious she developed a taste for the weird over the years) would keep an object like that around.

“Here; what are you going to do, pick a lock?” 
“Kind of. Give me your phone too. Don’t have the time to explain.” Cutting her way of communication with Kouma would help me avoid undesirable surprise, but even when she handed me the phone I made sure to check if it was set to vibrate and held it on my back so she wouldn’t hear or see it in case our common friend called. “Need you to make a fuss to get people distracted. Biggest you can without getting caught, ok? Do not get in trouble.” 
“Alright but-” 
“Megumi, now!” 

The colorful girl muttered something under her breath and stormed off clearly infuriated which was expected and understandable: I knew how she hated being ordered but I also knew I needed her to be safe. While I could be sure she was not to take this to heart in the long run, it didn’t make the task any more pleasant. If being an adult meant knowing when to do what you must rather than what you want to, I had been an adult for quite a while and it was absolutely nothing special.

I knew what I had to do then so I reactivated The Darkest to remain as concealed as I could.

As I began to run through the building’s floors looking for the plaque, since finding would probably lead to finding the maniac who took it, I fell the phone vibrating and the moment I saw the name on the screen I pressed the ‘end call’ button to make sure Kouma would know she couldn’t reach Megumi even if she wanted to. Next, I looked at the on-screen clock and decided to do my best to reach Ryo by calling her the exact moment her next synchronized call from Death Drive disconnected to warn her in a way she would know it was really me instead of having Kouma act as an impersonator through text without wasting too much time and gathering unneeded attention not to avoid ruining the plan but to keep the farce to Kouma.

After a disturbing moment of rising desperation the time her line would become free finally came.

The phone in my hand vibrated again as I tried to call Shiina Ryo, but it was Akane this time; the moment I was about to punch ‘end call’ I heard the beep on my Bluetooth ear device and from then on I only had one thing in my mind. 

Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. 

Like a mantra it resonated in me as I saw through her improvisation, once again, derivative; as used in an episode of a certain American television show with a conman as a main character, her tactic now was to stop me from reaching Ryo by cluttering my available phone lines. Most if not all modern phones have the poorly thought, albeit occasionally useful, custom of just making calls pop-out on screen even when you’re doing something else, like dialing a number. The problem, at least in my case, lies in the fact I could not block these calls even if I knew how to in this phone specifically because of the nature of this attack. At that point I could not tell whether she was using both hands to control the phones or tricked Akane into desperately calling Megumi out of concern with emotional blackmail of some sort.

My greatest fear, however, was that Kouma would see an even simpler solution.

Since I had Megumi’s phone, which I was sure Kouma knew by now, she assumed it was in her best interest to clutter both lines with calls I wouldn’t pick up. It was wrong of her to think so and the reason why is that, considering how badly the ‘plan’ had failed and was pointless at this point whether she was an ally to Death Drive or not, she could just go and instead call Ryo, who would pick up promptly. It would make her unreachable to me by any means that weren’t text, and even so it could be said Death Drive took control of the phone lines I had in my possession or had some fake message software or similar. It would make her worry but would keep her under Kouma’s domain.

I needed to save her.

My mind was splitting into several sections as I kept running around the building looking for the plaque and fending off Kouma and Akane’s calls while trying to connect with Ryo until the moment I came across the two of my targets at once: at the same time I found the right door I also heard Ryo’s voice through the earpiece.

“Hello?” 

There was so much I needed to say, but I didn’t have the time. The enemy that held Reikoku-sensei hostage was in front of me and for all I knew she was dying a little more every second I wasted; on the other hand, Kouma was bound to look for Ryo or me and my main concern was that Ryo wouldn’t take me seriously and walk straight into whatever trap Kouma Yon laid, whether it was for just me or not.

''What if Ryo is involved in this scheme too?''

“…” 
“Hello?” She tried again. “Who is this?” 

…isn’t it obvious? Then I’ll gladly die by her hands.

“Abort mission. Stay away from Kouma. Hide now.” 
“Shin-tsu. It is really you.” 

Savvy or not, to get to that extent she probably got text messages already.

“Trust me.” 

Considering whom I was, that sentence sounded absolutely ridiculous. I was a con, a lying demon, a manipulator, a trickster, the last person you should trust especially when on the other side of the fence you have a friend you grew with, who has been there for you when you were sick, who had always loved you one way or another; I was just the other person, the guy from the internet, a glorified stranger who was probably faking it whenever the two of you would talk about any subject and had matching views. I was no one.

“I will.” 

I could feel my heart beat everywhere in my body. Sure, Ryo could have said that and then betray me: I wouldn’t blame her. She made me happy at that time, like I really belonged somewhere. Like I finally had someone even if I had nothing else I could truly call mine.

I felt loved.

So I hung up, held Ayaka’s knife by the blade with my right hand and got myself ready to open the door and throw it at Death Drive giving priority to the head but would be okay with settling for the heart. Due to my own issues, I would probably lose my mind the moment I saw someone be killed by my own hands and, in case I ever did, would probably wake up in a hospital only to be either sent back to the Koukishin clan or a juvenile council if grandpa was finally done trying to give me chances to actually live my life the way I want. Couldn’t say I had no regrets, but it was beyond the point.

“Here goes nothing.”

I slammed the door open with my left arm and walked in the classroom ready to give up my sanity to kill a man who murdered many. I was not, however, ready to see my teacher on a chair covered in irregularly placed barbed wire and something metallic on her head that even before full comprehension made me lose hope and the ground under my feet. When faced with her body tainted in red I realized the anti-flames were gone along with my concentration and whatever resistance to gravity my body could have by standing up.

My knees faltered and I felt to the floor as the bastard laughed.

“Nyahahaha~~!” 

In front of me, trepanation; her perforated cranium still had the drill he used in it. Blood everywhere and it was hard to pinpoint where the dried ended and the fresh began. She remained a perfect portrait of still-life, too beautiful in her peaceful sleep that I could only imagine would be eternal.

We were too late to save her to begin with.

His sadistic laughter seemed to echo inside my brain again and again in a multitude of hellish undecipherable noise. Chalk dust floated visibly because of the light coming across the window. I could not move once again. Insanity rose. One more person died because of me. As I saw Reikoku-sensei’s body I remembered Kouma’s words once again: ‘What if you can’t save her?’ she said regarding Ryo, but the one needing to be saved was someone else. And I failed her. I failed them all and above that I failed myself. 

Reikoku-sensei was serious'''ly injured'''. 

My legs trembled, the knife in my hand wavered, I as a whole collapsed.

“…” 

The murderer tilted his poorly-shaven head while grinning, looking just as much as a half-Japanese Nosferatu as he did one year ago.

“Hey, you’re cross-dressing again! Is it a hobby of yours I didn’t hear of or something?” He said, regarding the time when he chased after Shiina Ryo. “Will we ever meet with you in male clothing?” 
“…” 
“What’s the matter, where are your usual snarky retorts? Cat ate your tongue? The so called ‘greatest of all liars’ can’t handle a little manslaughter?” 
“…” 
“Right, you can’t just kill another person: your little Chinese friend was kind enough to give me the information for free, along with where you were now. She must really, really hate you; can’t blame her, so do I. But to think you’d be stupid enough to tell your location to someone who feels this way about you… Is this all penance to you? You think getting killed will erase the sins you committed? How many lives do you think you ruined so far, you bloody fool? How many times do you think you need to die to make up for it?” 
“…” 
“Me, I’m a criminal: I kill for money or vengeance and it set me aside from modern society because our values differ. My victims, however, are all done with. With my methods, it usually happens while they are already buried so they have time to reflect and despair over what brought them there because I never in my whole life did it without having a reason to, although whether you’d call it a good reason or not is up to debate. They wake up with no hope and I’m sure that after the screaming and trying to claw their way out of it like in the movies they just calm down and realize their mistake. After all, what is a coffin other than a confessional you stay in for a long time?” 
“…” 
“But you, you won’t change despite knowing how bad you are. You really think you are the hero despite all you’ve done to so many; was it just me, I’d be perfectly okay with just killing you and be done with it. When it’s personal I tend to do things quicker because, you see, I don’t get paid extra. I have no illusions over the matter of what I do being evil, but to think that despite your actions you’d walk away unharmed because of your family’s influence while I, a plebeian, would rot in jail for what anyone with a brain would consider smaller penalties... this is what is wrong with this country, no, this world. I know you can be a bastard when you want to, but it was just because of your family. And no, it is not fear I have of you: I despise you as a fellow human. If the rumors are to be believed, you are the most disgusting creature in existence.” 
“…” 
“Well, I’m no hero, but since no one stepped up a scum like me has to do the job. You and your little girlfriend messed with the wrong person because I have no problem putting my life on the line just to set things right according to my standards and while I have the power, my word is the law. She ruined her life the day she crossed my path. You ruined your life the day you crossed my path. The two of you will pay and under these circumstances, I’ll give you special treatment. Be grateful.” 
“…” 
“I will dismember, no, that would be too good for you; what I’m going to do first is render your arms and legs useless surgically so you can feel them and know they are there but not be able to move them. Then I’m going to find Ryo and take the two of you to a room with only a clock covered in duct tape so you will hear it tick but never know the time, and do you know what I’ll do next? Hurt her in every way I can while you watch, and boy, you will watch all of it even if I have to shove caffeine down your throat, cut your eyelids and fill the room with mirrors so you can’t close your eyes or look away. Other than making you a cripple, I won’t lay a finger on you; I’ll give her everything I prepared for both her and for you, including acts that will put me in a different class of criminals.” 
“…” 
“Then, when I break her mind, only then I will give her the chance of killing you for her freedom: the you who watched her pain but didn’t move a finger to help her, the one who is at fault for her suffering this much for countless days. The death she would have gotten if she was alone when she messed with me would have been way cleaner if you weren’t around, and you can be sure I’ll let her know that. It is all on you.” 
“…” 

It was like every little word that flew out of his mouth was handcrafted to make me furious and bring the worst of me to the surface.

“And I win either way, as the disfigured Shiina Ryo marches towards you: if she kills herself you won’t be able to bear with the guilt, and if you are the one who is killed well, then I can just shoot her in the legs before I aim for the face. She did annoy me, so there’s absolutely no way I’ll let her walk away from this just because she cooperated: as everyone in the criminal side, I believe in reduction of penalty only when it applies to me not being behind bars. Those who were wronged know.” 
“…” 

Letting him talk as I recovered from the shock was a good idea. In a few seconds I would get up and end this once and for all. He couldn’t match me in close combat, especially with The Darkest on me. The environment was favorable. He didn’t bring a gun or such, while I had a room full of weapons even if you ignore Ayaka’s knife. The chairs, the chalk, the floor, the desks, the windows, the curtains, the wood corners, the walls, Megumi’s golden paperclip, cell phones, hair extensions barbed wire, Reikoku’s body, my own body, The Darkest, oxygen, carbon, gravity, the world and everything in it I could reach for: humans saw most of them as objects, persons or immaterial concepts, but when I was like that they were all tools and weapons and all mine on top of that. It would not be a fight: I hated the idea of fights deep down. It would be one-sided murder and I would make it happen even if I had to use my beloved teacher’s corpse as a human-sized club to beat him to a pulp.

If the room was ‘all weapons’ there was only one target to destroy.

“I won’t let you forget it’s all because of y-” 

A brick came flying, piercing through the window and landed along with shards of glass right between Death Drive and me, intrusively coming from the side very much like a ball in a foosball table. Ironic, as I felt the game was set a long time ago.

I looked out the freshly-made hole in the glass window and saw the not-so-distant sniper hanging from a tree, raising her fist against the sky like the world’s most accomplished pitcher and I knew exactly what Megumi could do.

The unpredictable action took us both by surprise and distracted the maniac for long enough to someone I knew to come inside the room through the door, crouch by my side, run, step on a chair and then a table, kick it rather than merely jump, propel herself like a falling star and reach the killer with the speed of lightning and an unidentified object in her left hand that made my gaze go to the floor searching for the knife I dropped.

When I heard the fizz I understood why Kouma had a second phone and the violent convulsion Death Drive had when it landed on the side of his neck.

The model was unknown to me but not the concept so it was easy to recognize an electroshock weapon (also known as ‘stun gun’) disguised as a mobile device. One could argue she was not using it to its original purpose, or at least the one the fabricant claims is the ''raison d’être'' in order to avoid federal eyes: to me it was absolutely obvious she did not buy the object for self-defense. Hell, she knew martial arts well enough for that purpose; this was another weapon of hers, which concerned me even more as I wondered about the effects of electricity on the foe that was now twitching on the ground.

He had a pacemaker.

“Rest assured, Shin-tsu, I read studies on this: pacemakers don’t seem to be affected by stun guns. It amazes me how deep your personal issues go, to worry about the life of someone who performed trepanation on your beloved teacher even though you were considering sacrificing your mind in order to kill him yourself.” Reading my mind not for the first time that day, Kouma Yon looked at me and spoke carelessly. “I told you I would save you. I just didn’t tell you it would be from the killing instinct within yourself and the consequences it would have on you because of your childhood trauma.” 
“…she’s dead.” 
“No, his ability is very similar to thanatosis: it’s slightly more complicated than I am currently willing to explain but he basically feigns death as in ‘playing possum’, his or someone else’s as long as they are at touch range. Not entirely unexpected, considering his history and even his Freudian nickname. Based on animals that use the technique I can see a few possible defensive and offensive applications for it, which apparently he couldn’t. Such a waste of potential is unforgivable; what other creatures could do with that skill is left to imagination. According to you, I have absolutely none, but even I can comprehend a naturally passive-aggressive predator would benefit greatly from the possibility of being able to both mimicry and render the prey defenseless.” 
“Kouma, listen to me. She’s been out of his touch range for a moment now.” It was ridiculous how quickly I could find myself pressured rather than merely willing to get others out of denial when I didn’t have the strength to do anything for my own life. “She’s dead.” 

I felt absolutely ridiculous. The boundary of not being able to withstand the sight of murder, despite of being strong enough to incapacitate me immediately and for days on its own, could easily be overcome by the craving to save others? No, not even save; just wanting to get Kouma out of denial was enough, but it shouldn’t be. Was this what my late teacher was talking about, on the whole Messiah complex topic? Morals, traumas and stigmas could be just thrown away amidst the worst conflict to avoid having someone get hurt on a much smaller scale than I was?

At some point I became everyone’s peon.

“She’ll wake up. Poison dripping off the small needles that he materialized on his fingertips is how he did it, which is more realistic and understandable than applying hallucinatory effects to a paper card. It should be off her system soon so don-” Kouma’s speech was interrupted by a single cry from the woman I assumed was dead, followed by feverish shivering that worried me greatly because the screw was still inside her head and could damage her further if she moved too much. The kung fu fighting fashionista just looked at my teacher who stopped altogether to move but still breathed loudly enough to reassure me of the fact she remained alive. “There we go. That should stir up anyone nearby so we can count on some more police and hospital calls, which shall be beneficial to us.” 

Death Drive started getting up.

“Ju…just who are you?” 
“I see you know Shin-tsu and Ryo, but we haven’t been introduced yet: within my boundary I am the god of possibilities.” Her eyes were expressionless but at that moment she emanated a force so overwhelming I felt my legs shake. Kouma really was something else. “My name is Kouma Yon and more important than Kung Fu, I know Psychology.” 
“And who cares? You got in my way too, so you’re dead no-” 
“I also know you are trying to bait KEN into killing you over what, soon after doing it, he’d realize out was nothing. The moment when this ability of yours becomes no more a disability has come, for unlike the other times you used it to coerce someone into something the third element knows how the magician’s hat trick works. This was meant to be a masterpiece, wasn’t it? To fool the lying demon who caught you in a way he could never get back at you even if there was a way he would recover from needlessly killing a human being once more. A sick joke funny only to yourself, right? You could not expect anyone to see through this, right? But now he knows too much for it to work. He might not be able to see the whole picture but he won’t kill you now and that’s all you wanted of him in the end. Even I have a considerably bigger chance of getting killed by him right now than you do.” 
“…how do you know all that?” 

She took a deep breath.

“Well planned time travel and analytic skills alone. You could have done it: you actually made it the first time and it got him insane just like you wanted to. In the first timeline, he almost killed me after going berserk and that was how I learned about my own power. You were going to win against him but you didn’t. You lost once again: your will is meaningless because like I said, I am god within these boundaries. Fighting me is futile, I will defeat you every time and cheat whenever you get close to win. Every movement and idea of yours are mine. So try me. Come at me if you think you’re fast enough to attack before I travel back in time once again with the information of the precise kind of blow you will try to land or cunning trick you’ll play, other than how to get to it by triggering all the right flags once again. At this point, I am invincible. You think you’re going to mess up with the mind of my favorite test subject?” Kouma Yon gave him her grimmest grin. “Not on my watch.” 

Death Drive was stunned and he was not the only one.

“You… you little piece of… you ruined everything, goddamn bi-GAAARGH” 

Just like that, Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier, also known by the self-imposed nickname of Death Drive, died of a heart attack in front of our eyes. Which was ridiculous and ironic but also definitive and undeniable.

Therefore I crashed for good.

In a moment that could easily have lasted forever in my altered perception I stood there not doing a thing until Kouma set my body in movement forcefully. She slapped me across the face so fast I took a moment to comprehend what exactly had happened and as I fell to the floor she ran back to Reikoku-sensei’s side in order to provide her primary care.

Her attention did not waver as she lectured me.

“Cut it out. You cannot blame yourself for this: it’s not your fault that he followed you here and attacked us, and it’s not your fault he died. You didn’t do this. However, if you waste our chance of saving this woman because of that trauma of yours instead of manning up and taking care of an innocent person who has done nothing but try and reach out for you when you were down, in my eyes and yours you will be a murderer.” Kouma Yon finally managed to stop or at least limit the hemorrhage a good 4 seconds after she was done talking. Her eyes were serious and tender simultaneously, raw and alive as an animal’s; whether it was my altered perception or her own growth, I couldn’t tell. “So don’t give in, Shin-tsu. Stay with me. I need you.” 

And there it was: the line before the bass drop, the growl before the breakdown. A conman’s hook.

I bit and licked my inferior lip hurting it once more and felt the taste of blood acting not for the first time as a reality check for me.

“…tell me what I have to do next.” 

Kouma’s confusion didn’t show in her face but in her taking five seconds to give me a reply.

“I beg your pardon?” 
“You need me to do what? You’re talking to me in simpler terms like you learned to do to connect with me whenever you want me to do something for you, whether it’s answering questions about my psyche or morals or something else. I don’t care whether I’m an experiment to you at this point, just tell me what you want or leave me alone.” 
“This isn’t about you.” 
“I said I don’t care about your excuses right now, save them. You saw a void I can fill somewhere and now you want me to get up and fix something for you. Spill it.” 

I grabbed Ayaka’s knife and got up.

“I never meant to hurt you.” 
“Doesn’t matter; just tell me what I have to do.” 

Walking towards the girl enveloped by the newborn sunset that came through the crack she made in the glass.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” 
“Tell me what you want.” 

When she looked me with her once again cold eyes I clenched my fist tighter on the weapon’s handle by reflex.

“I really love you.” 

The last straw she needed to pull.

“Say that one more time and I’ll kill myself in front of your eyes. I’m tired of being told that and then be left alone: no more. Is this what you wanted from the start? Was this part of your plan, you godforsaken beast? Because if yes, go on, I dare you. Hell, I want you to do it. I’m right on the edge here. It’s all on you, girl.” Knife against my throat, my breathing so hard I felt my chest tremble as air moved and emptied my lungs like life was already leaving me every second. I trembled like I was falling apart and was bound to cut myself deep even before she had the time to say anything if I kept unstable like that. “Say it, I beg of you. Give me one last reason. End me.” 

Patiently I waited for her to give me my final command.

“I’m sorry.” 
“…” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m sorry you feel this way.” 
“But not for acting the way you did, do or will do. Which implies you honestly believe you are not in the wrong. And I know you for a fact don’t care about good or evil, but rather about but concepts. Damn.” Gently as I could I lowered the weapon to waist level. The time for my melodramatic act was over as I assured the fashionista was still the creature I thought her to be. It made me aware it was serious business we were dealing with or she would not have gone so far, as it would be too bothersome to do so for the world’s laziest multi-talented being. "Sometimes, just sometimes, I really hate you, Kouma Yon.” 
“Thankfully, just sometimes. I can live with that in mind, like I shall do regarding the fact you would have done it if I said ‘it’ again yet won’t do it now just because I just ruined the moment for you. Double subversion would feel less gratifying to you.” 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“For such a long-time liar, sometimes it feels like you’re not even putting enough effort in it. You too are a disappointment.” 
“Did you learn my craft yet? My so-called ‘art’?” 
“There is no such thing as ‘art’, just ‘art admirers’. And yes.” She nodded as if words were not enough to express the depth of comprehension she achieved. “You can stop pretending you’re not shaken up inside now.” 
“Thank you.” My hands finally dropped the knife. 

I knew I was way too mentally exhausted to make decisions when it got to the point I considered relying on Kouma Yon of all creatures as a moral compass. But when life gives you lemons and they are deathly sour…

“No need to play that role in front of you, good.” The stern look on her face showed no approval, however. “As the few paramedics tried to save me in the first timeline, just before I lost consciousness, I heard a report about the situation on an exploded inter-city bus through their radios: it was supposed to happen around 5 minutes from now, and there were heavy suspicions of terrorism. We won’t get the attention and primary care we need if this happens, and the lack of media coverage for this story might lead to further questioning too. I need you to stop the bomber on the inter-city bus while I focus on keeping Reikoku-sensei alive and setting up the scene to make this look like an isolated incident: having you around could ruin the latter up too.” 

Then it hit me.

“You were going to just let those people die if we managed to stop Death Drive before he caught Reikoku-sensei.” 
“Not now, Shin-tsu. I have priorities and so should you.” 

More lives at stake and now that I knew about it, it was on me. She set me up real good, she did not know for sure I would not be able to reject it yet she bet all her chips on me going out and doing it. I hated myself for not being able to prove whatever unrealistic expectations she had of me wrong, for not being capable to let her down.

Still, I ran.

Fast as I could I advanced, much faster than I could before the Shugoshin was in me but it did not feel fast enough to me: no matter how much I tried, I no longer could bend space and time on command. The Darkest did not need to explain it to me, as I realized how give-and-take the situation was on my own; in exchange for more power I sacrificed potential and there was no easy way to change it back again.

As I ran towards the great fence that separated the eastern area from outer buildings I recognized something that made me stop for a while. Near a small, cabin-like janitor room, there were cameras were different than the ones you saw at schools and hospitals and much more akin to the ones you’d see in secret spy movies: that model was activated by heat, so I could use my skill to pass through unnoticed if I used that area, which would help in case I needed an alibi in the future for I could just say I was still at school while some sort of disaster happened, that is, if I failed.

Awfully convenient, except it was a nightmare in disguise of saving throw.

Pondering over all I knew regarding Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan, it was obvious where she stored that dreadful item of hers. I wanted to scream at myself and say it could not be, but it was just too likely to deny it no matter how high were the regards I had her in. To even consider she’d possibly keep something like that near her students made me severely nauseous; I was actually glad I had only found out about it because otherwise chances were I would have doubts about going so far for the sake of saving her life.

When I found myself standing up on the top of wall close enough to reach the one pertaining to the next building I got my body ready for jumping higher and climbing because for once during that day I knew exactly what I needed to do to reach my goal.

I was going for ''Parkour'', the art of not just moving around obstacles but use them to your benefit for maximum efficiency. Critical thinking was a must. A wall was not there to block my way, just to be my stepping stone: it was all terrain, a world made purely of it. No more limits: it was time for me to stop thinking of common, linear paths to walk in and start running in vectors.

“''Traceur'', on.” 

A jump into nothingness that ended abruptly when my fingertips touched the walls and from that moment on I was one with everything; a single layer of the flames enveloping my hands and foot, so thin it was not much more than pitch black contour wavering like ink but never leaving for real. It made me feel like I was moving on vacuum, which was probably not far from the truth.

By both using it and deactivating it I alternatively propelled and glued myself on the terrain composed of all things over the houses and buildings of that developing town. At the apex of the nearby constructions of concrete picking the ones closer to touch the skies in altitude in order to avoid being seen I moved but instead of feeling as a hunter I was free like an unparalleled, unleashed beast albeit constrained by the time limit: I was simultaneously carefree and worried sick; I loved being alive and I hated myself; I was a being and I was not.

During that moment I got the same impression I had during the fight against Ryo’s Shugoshin, that it all had been preparation for this. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling quite a lot… every little thing feels like build-up to something else, and it’s supposed to be huge.

Very much like the strength of the wind blowing my skirt.

== Part 4 ==

My heart could not decide if it wanted to race or stop fully as the bus was doing in order to pick up more passengers.

Breathe.

The bus was more crowded than I assumed it would be due to it not being a weekday and all, but I guess even in smaller cities people go around and have fun. They didn't consider the risk of being inside a vehicle that would blow up and kill them all due to a sudden terrorist attack; not everyone is like Akane.

Looking at the window I watched both the inside and outside of the car for movement while the back door released a bickering couple who would probably get closer if they realized they averted a disaster if I failed to stop the bomber and the front door welcomed anyone who would walk in join those who died in the first timeline and were still at risk in this one.

Of those waiting for a bus I saw some making room for a soon-to-be passenger and the moment I heard the door close I knew there was no coming back.

Breathe.

I recognized the only person who got in the bus within milliseconds despite the trucker hat, jeans jacket and hiker backpack (which I could only assume was her definition of discrete disguise) because it was the one who hated me the most. Lang Shou seemed considerably more than just slightly distressed when she saw me looking at her while dressed in drag. I too was shaken up inside as it was the usual whenever I saw her, which I hadn’t in a while.

Her right eye twitched.

“Pervert!” 

She said in Cantonese, and if I knew her it was probably only to scan if there were any speakers of the language in the bus; if that was the case, they’d probably just start screaming or tackle me. Yes, because of that and not because I was cross-dressing on a bus.

Nothing happened, so I did the obvious.

“Pervert!” I replied to her enthusiastically as if the word was a greeting, and then thought about what addendum in Japanese I’d have to put together with that to make it convincing enough. “It’s nice to see you again, Lang Shou.” 

While her face was clearly a painting of annoyance, the fact she sit down by my side when there were other free places in the bus finished the job of reassuring the passengers that we were the right sort of acquaintances.

Even though we were not.

“…how did you know?” 
“I have my sources. You seem to be everyone else’s.” 

On usual situations I would not be so harsh with her but I was seriously ticked off by the result of her actions.

“There’s nothing wrong with that I do, just means to an end.” 

Irresponsible brat.

“I hope you meant Death Drive’s, because your plan only led to him passing away.” 
“Wouldn’t expect less of you.” Did my best to keep myself from showing emotions when she said that, can’t tell if I succeeded. “But I guess he was pretty useless, failing like that despite being a little more than mildly famous.” 
“You really don’t know anything about this business: an assassin’s job is to be concealed, so whenever someone’s name is out there for people like you to hear it means he might be a good killer but a lousy professional.” 

Scorn was shining clear as day on her face.

“You’d know, wouldn’t you? Murderer.” 
“…” 

There wasn’t much I could say in reply to that.

“What’s the matter, murderer? Is it bad that I call you that, murderer?” 
“…stop.” 
“Or what, will you kill me too?” 
“…” 
“Oh, the little murderer got depressed, boo hoo.” It was not a very big step, from tomboy to bully. “Don’t give me those sad puppy eyes. Even now, you still look like a Shih Tzu dog.” 

Oh, this sure brings back memories: so that’s where I got the nickname from, then. Not that I’ll ever correct the mistake, would be kind of embarrassing after all. I’ll remain using the ‘Shin-tsu, out of two of the same kanji’ excuse. Better than letting it be known so Kouma can refer to me as ‘Puppy-kun’.

I had more urgent topics to address, too.

“So at the end of the day you’d kill yourself to divert the paramedics’ attention but not explode now that you’re here with me? When you could hurt me and me alone?” 
“Hurt you? By killing you? Even now you try to trick me, you lying demon? I know very well that would be bliss, especially compared to what you did to me. You don’t deserve that: I’ll take it out on the ones near you until you are a walking pile of nerves surrounded by corpses you watched growing cold. I will break your mind and heart and I won’t lay a finger on you to kill because I want you to do it yourself to atone for what you did. It will never be enough, the suffering. Whatever you build, I’ll crush it. Forever and always, until you finish what you started and kill me or decide to suicide. Just be aware of this: as long as I am alive you don’t get to live a happy life after what you’ve done, and I’ll make sure of that.” 

That was when I approached her, hugged her tight and released hot breath down her neck to make her shiver, with a superior level of success than I expected to achieve. It was obvious to me she was almost melting as experience dictated. Good to know some things never change.

I held her hand and rested my forehead against hers, looking the girl in the eyes.

“Lang Shou, I am sorry. I can’t take back what I did and God knows I would if I could but you need to realize you won’t gain anything from doing this. This isn’t you, so stop while you can. Please. I don’t want you to suffer a second longer.” My hands ran down her backpack but still delivered the pressure to her body like I wanted them to. Her shivers were strong enough to make me wonder if I had done something to give her a seizure. “I care about you. Either go back to China to your parents or stay here with me; things are never going to be the same, but I can give you a place you can call ‘home’. I am still your friend.” 

Furious, she pushed me away, slapped me and got up but didn’t leave before delivering a dramatic one-liner.

“I hate you.” 

Not surprised: it was the second time I heard that one on that day and she made sure to say it in Japanese before storming off the bus the moment it stopped, but at the very least I did not end up receiving the mother of all beatings from a visually warped version of her in dreamland. Either way, I already had gotten what I needed to.

Personally, I hated pickpocketing. It wasn’t as thrilling as some might assume it could be, because it was more a case of ‘either you know the trick or not’; no room for cunning talk or similar when it comes to the actual thing, just before and after and it kind of beat the point of going unnoticed. It was no fun but as any adult can tell you, life is not always doing what you like to do.

So I stole both the bomb and the detonator from her backpack and now I had to disassemble the bomb before she could realize I did it because she could notice they were missing and try to meet me on the next stop.

Frankly, that was the easier part of the day: Lang Shou was an amateur whose only talent seemed to be getting into trouble still. Her bomb was pretty crude looking (which helped me because anyone who saw it would dismiss it as a toy and not panic) and was built quite poorly on top of that. The detonator was short distance-only and unrelated to the bomb, which would go off around two stops from where she dropped, so one possibility is that she would have tried to blow somewhere else up just in case if I hadn’t been a dirty thief and taken both the red herring detonator and the silly-looking bomb. I have to grant her that she did better than usual in that particular aspect but I could only guess whether it was because she wanted to go down along with everyone or the limit of her design and engineering skills: for all I knew she could have mixed two projects she got in books up.

Upon the realization I wasn’t even followed back home I felt lie I could no longer hide my disappointment and let the post-traumatic stress kick in. I wanted to feel despair and rage and get the overwhelming, exhilerating depression out of my mind even if it meant crying and throwing up for days until I got hallucinations due to the deprivation of water and nutrients. I needed to scream at the heart of the world because I could tell I had it in me.

It never came despite the copious amounts of build-up.

Like every single thing that ever happened, the events of that day were ‘proven’ anti-climatic and dull when the hindsight bias was applied; the Historian’s Fallacy made everything obvious and absolutely ridiculous to say the least, and to pinpoint the truth by hypothesizing after the results were known was nearly impossible because most things aside, the simple presence of time travel in a case blurs the lines between cause and effect beyond recognition. Still, one could say that above ‘good’ or ‘bad’, Kouma did ‘right’: the definition of the latter being up to debate. Now, Lang Shou…

...she killed me inside a little more.

It was like a bad joke; to think someone so incapable and inexperienced was willing to try and cause so much damage to so many over nothing, or at the very least nothing that had to do anything with them.

It was a bad joke because it was the exact same with me.

The news reports a week from that day were still all about how a high school girl from a small-to-medium sized town saved her teacher’s life using only a mobile phone with internet access and a handbag’s contents, and it didn’t take them long to dig her up and realize she was the same child prodigy who won some art prizes a few years ago. Instant sub-celebrity; blogs spawned; people would talk to her whenever she walked down the street.

The biggest hospital in the nearby city, where Reikoku-sensei was immediately admitted to and is being kept until she wakes up from her comatose state, even offered Kouma a fully paid scholarship on a college above average and future internship may she choose Medicine as her career. I immediately assumed she was going to accept it for all the wrong reasons, and I could not blame her for that because I could easily see myself doing the same.

That maiden was too a knight and she was 『Ryo’s』. 

== Part 5 ==

“Come in.” 
“Excuse me.” I said, dodging something on the ground that was probably an elaborate trap her cat assembled to keep strangers out. 

As soon as I entered Ryo’s apartment the realization dawned on me; before seeing the image with my own eyes it sounded just like a story from a TV show or a book. It was too surreal for me to accept it as a fact at once, even to someone who is used to the unusual such as me. Still, one could easily tell just from seeing the way the place was a complete mess Ryo’s story matched the environment.

Shiina Ryo’s mother left her house.

The reasons are irrelevant to me because whether it was depression or something else the fact her daughter was left behind remains unchanged. I should not judge without having all information on a subject, but it’s pretty obvious to me it was a mistake and so should be to anyone with a drop of common sense.

You don’t walk away on your teenage daughter.

People her… our age are not expected to live by themselves with no support, in good medical condition or not. Even with the exceptionally good amount of money my family deposits every two weeks I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be okay if I didn’t have the support of Reikoku-sensei, Kouma and Ryo. It takes more than financial stability to make a stable person.

From a mathematician’s point of view it might sound unreasonable but there is another factor, something else we need to function other than the strictly necessary physical resources; I’m not sure if it’s human contact or anything like that, but I’m aware of the fact I wouldn’t be able to live a complete life without their support. Then again, maybe I’m wrong and too young to deal with those matters right now. My best friend is living a situation similar in theory yet completely different in intensity.

I am fully aware of the fact I am not, however, old and numb by apathy enough to be able to ignore the painful silence in this house and just live my life as if it wasn’t my problem.

Both out of curiosity and concern I opened her refrigerator to find only half-empty bottles of water, a piece of fruit so old I cannot recognize which kind and cups of cheap instant ramen, which I presumed to have been her primary meal for the time she lived alone. My heart ached just from imagining Ryo working late on the nearby town to pay the bills her irresponsible mother (and that’s not judging but stating a fact) left for her along with the ones that would come every month, and then coming home to eat an unhealthy, poor excuse for a meal and sleep for a few instants before getting up to diligently go to school in order to avoid suspicious looks from people who love to gossip. With her health as it was she certainly could not afford to have such a routine.

At that moment I realized there are many people in the same situation as hers out there and a lot of people living under much worse conditions, yet what pains me the most is to find out there was someone so close to me living like that while I was completely unaware.

Some could see this as a very strong attribute of hers, to try and go this far without anyone’s help: I think that was selfish of her.

But who am I to blame her for not asking for help? I probably wasn’t even around when this started and even if she told this to Kouma Yon, chances are Kouma’s mother would have just reported this to Child Services or something like that because that is what a responsible law-abiding person should do, technically flawless but the results in practice are not the same you’d expect by following the theory, often much darker instead. Not only that: when I had my own problem in the past my first reaction was running away despite the fact Ryo was the first person I saw right after the whole thing happened so I don’t think I can easily be considered reliable and centered. She was probably too scared to even think, without anyone to help her.

In the end, aren’t we all?

“Shin-tsu, could you come here?” She said, in a low voice that could barely be heard reverberating in the apartment. “I think I’ve got everything I nee-” 

But her sentence was cut due to shock but the apparently fated silence was avoided by the fall of the box she had been holding onto, and it was definitely my fault. The reason for that reflex was my sudden movement in her direction and the subsequent action, holding her in my arms as what I imagine to a father embracing his children after they got hurt. Perhaps the strength I used was a little bit more than I intended, possibly because she was not the only one with parental issues.

“It’s okay, Ryo. You can let it out now. I'm here.” 

I expected and almost wished her to say one of her extremely long speeches full of data or have a retort that was both witty and innocent but her reply was awfully short, almost minimalist.

“…thank you.” 

And then she cried in a rather loud, impolite and tangibly honest manner for a while.

Later when Shiina Ryo decided she had cried enough to be able to stand it, Akane’s mother was sensible and drove us around without making many, if any questions. The path travelled by the van seemed not only melancholic but empty as if the only thing in the world who felt like talking was the delivery car’s motor that resonated soundly and accentuated the shades of grey present in every street.

When we were carrying the final boxes to my place I was approached by our hippie driver, who not as much as offered but forced me to accept a certain amount of cash out of her eco-friendly wallet I was pretty sure she could not simply spare. I tried again and again to say we would be fine because I had some extra money, but she made me take it out of kindness and care. Few would be able to go that far to help strangers these days, regardless of their beliefs and views of the world.

It was definitely not a question of trust, because she trusted us enough to give us money she worked hard to make but not enough to believe me when I said we had the financial situation under control. Sure, sometimes it’s hard to ask for help or even accept the kindness of semi-strangers.

Perhaps I am being biased as Kouma said I was once again, but her individual altruistic action made me consider a hypothesis I have long ignored: perhaps there is a chance mankind still has hope. I might be wrong and believing that might be a mistake, but that is a privilege the young are given.

Like this thing I’m doing.

Bringing a female friend to live with me might be a mistake, both of us being pretty broken as human beings, young and not having an adult to look after us in the house. Still, even if it turns out to be an error in the long run, I have to do it now and probably won’t regret a thing.

Not out of gratitude or romantic feelings but out of something I could not yet define and probably never will. There are things better off unnamed and unspoken.

…no, it’s too late for that.

Overlooking things on purpose and at command is an acquired skill used mostly to avoid red herrings and mind control. My version of it has saved my life a few times and probably got into someone else’s path many others. To live through life as if only my life matters and seeing others as either obstacles or peons is not the prettiest way of seeing this world but I’m sure there are worse ways. Not that it justifies every ugly action I might make to achieve what I wish for, but then again I never claimed to be a good or bad guy.

Thus I will help her out of egoism.

Because making her happy makes me happy, because knowing she suffers hurts me, because comforting her when she is sad soothes my heart as well. More than relate to, she understands me and vice-versa. I don’t even regret coming here, despite all the trouble we have been put through so far, because deep down I know I like the way Ryo and the others make me feel in general.

Thus, I will keep acting so their reactions will bounce back hard enough to generate reactions in me too. One way to look at this situation is to believe that’s how human relationships do work and thus I am not being wrong or a bad, just seeing this whole thing the wrong way because of my wicked, broken and rather cynical view of life, byproduct of years of inconstancy.

There is no way for me to see it like everything is so black-and-white simple; I am just not that optimistic.

Love, in any form, is a flawed concept in my opinion so I say let’s leave it at egoism, and at least for now my word is final; not because I can’t feel any love, but merely because I cannot bring myself to believe in it so easily. Not to say I deny its existence, but I can’t just believe it like you can’t trust a travelling vendor with magical beans smiling his face off. But then again, who’s to tell? Maybe it is an honest fellow...

I'm more than quick to run away but not one to know when to stay, thus I shall learn to balance between those two or get caught in another net. As long as I rely on others to save me things will never be okay, so I’ll let Time test Love and tell me the results before I make any deals I might regret.

== Part 6 ==

Obligatory time skip.

Every day I went to the hospital to visit Reikoku-sensei, hold her hand and read her the news or a novel even though the doctors told me, half-heartedly for it wasn’t in them to crush a highschooler’s apparent idealism, that her brain was far from operational at that point and it was very unlikely that she could receive any of the information, let alone recover.

The nurses were a lot nicer to me after it was clear I wasn’t romantically involved with her or anything, thinking I was some sort of angel-like student and I could see them tearing up whenever I gave them a bittersweet smile after a whole afternoon and twilight of being there and leaving for another inter-cities travel.

Sadly I felt a great amount of guilt despite knowing she was ready for an outcome even worse than this. It was my purgatory, to watch her alone. On a particular day, however, I went there with company. The three scheming students whose Pyrrhic victory resulted in her vegetative state: Kouma, the derivative polymath; Ryo, the splitting designer; and me, the vague executor.

Anomie, ambiguity and ambivalence sitting in a hospital room.

Without us asking like the last time she went out to buy us something, Kouma left with the promise of bringing three coffee cans. Instead of talking to Ryo immediately, I knew better than to trust the fashionista to just leave us alone.

My instincts were right.

I caught Kouma looking at us by using the many pieces of metal and glass present in the hospital as mirrors like Akane did and then something became painfully obvious to me. The reason why it was possible Kouma Yon would able to save me by moving her mind back in time just once without her lack of presence in the second timeline at the places she was in the first affecting the outcome, against all odds that exist in such a scenario is so simple and bland my mind just ignored automatically. A bias of mine.

She knew every little thing and every single move I’d make because she watched me from very close.

All.

<center>The.</center>

 Time. 

Honestly, I did not know what I should do in the light of such evidence and the reason was simple.

It was a lie of hers; whenever a con tells you it’s all over, doubt.

Kouma saying it was the first time she travelled back in time was absurd. No matter how good she was, she simply could not do it properly the first time. Not to that extent, no sir, she couldn’t. I knew she couldn’t create anything from scratch, so how could she come up with a plan like that in one day when it was hard to believe she would be able to do in a lifetime? Wasn’t it safe to assume her absolute lack of creativity was what got her ‘stuck’ with Ryo in the first place, too? The only logical explanation I could see was that her plan was a combination of several she has seen through the several timelines she has been in while searching for the best possible outcome.

Considering how things turned out, it wouldn’t surprise me in any way if even the flaws in the plan, in making me take the lead by telling me I shouldn’t, in having Reikoku-sensei harmed even were all just a well-done mix-and-match game for her. If the latter was true, the hypocrisy in having her there in the hospital room would be overwhelming and I was prone to reacting with violence...

…unless there was a good explanation to go so far as putting our teacher into a coma. After all, assuming she has gone several times back in time and this is the best scenario it goes without saying that for some reason the other ones must have been, at the very least in Kouma’s point of view, worse outcomes. She did see herself as a limited god beyond morals, so it was not much of a stretch, to assume she'd deliver a simultaneously preemptive and retroactive sentence as an all-knowing judge with the power to stop tragedies. What I needed to know was whether a tragedy for Kouma Yon was the same as a tragedy for all of us or if I was within range of a powerful enemy.

Either way I had a sure mode of testing it once and for all.

“Kouma, Ryo. Listen.” I said, going in for the kill; the stakes were high enough to ruin all that had been building up but I just wasn’t done with the game yet. “I have to tell you guys about Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan.” 

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Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2013-05-06T14:51:08Z

Ryuno: Reply to Deck of cards

Awesome, awesome stuff. Your story can seriously hook anyone who reads the first chapter. The conversations between characters (especially regarding Shin-tsu) just might hold the best flow of any characters I've ever encountered in a light novel. I am lucky enough that TLG gave me his approval to post my original l/n on the wiki too, and after reading yours, as a peer posting on the same site, I've come to the outstanding conclusion that I'm lightyears behind you in talent! I hope you're still going on well, I'm looking forward to learning more from you. - [[User:Deck of cards|Deck of cards]]
* Thank you very much, and congratulations! About damn time we get a new novel in the OLN section! I don't know about you being lightyears behind me, but if that's the case it's only a matter of developing the proper propulsion system (nuclear, maybe? Antimatter seems to be a popular choice too) or using a shortcut like a wormhole for the purpose of faster-than-light travel... it's all good, as long as you're doing your best to tell an entertaining story. Welcome aboard! Also, the third novel is coming along, right now the unfinished manuscript is as big as the complete novel 2, so yeah, I'm starting to realize why it's taking me a while longer than expected. If you use Facebook, it's easier to get updates (and occasional rants) on the [http://www.facebook.com/TheLongingOfShiinaRyo Official Page]. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask: storytelling is one of those subjects it's always fun to discuss. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Great work! You certainly made my day! I was surprised by how interesting this novel was that I continued reading even though it's 2.40 am already. I do hope to see more chapters up soon, certainly looking forward to it =D - [[User:Destinyz|Destinyz]]

* I am going to finish posting this tomorrow, it's just that adapting the weird formatting I used on MS Word to Wiki-formatting is harder than it looks. I'm glad you liked it; getting positive feedback makes this otherwise empty day of mine a much, much better one. Thank you very much. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

hmm I look forward to the next chapter. I already read the 3rd chapter elsewhere. The story is weird in some places but that's okay. Still curious about what will happpen

* Weird is good, sometimes; because of weirdness, we've got bloody awesome stuff such as djent, hair coloring and SHAFT. I'm going to post the last chapter later, so get yourself ready for some weird action. [http://soundcloud.com/corelia/glass-faces-1 Listen to this while you wait, it's delicious.] - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo = The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya... RIGHT>?

* It started as a rant on that series, yes. It grew on me by the ending line of the first chapter, so I said "what the heck" and decided to take it serious. Not too serious, though. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

very good story, i like it

* Thank you very much. [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i super quote the comment upXD (just a question, you are writing or translating this??)

* Writing (and technically translating, considering the fact I'm not a native English speaker; yeah, that sounds like a good way to get away with stupid mistakes). The sequel is coming along nicely, too. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

nice story, deservers to be serialized(be made in a book, sorry but i too am not english, i am italianXD)

* Thank you very much. It's highly unlikely unless I follow the dreadful path of self-publishing, but I suppose the possibility exists.[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Is it possible to publish here on baka-tsuki my original light novel I'm writing? [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* The criteria is the same they use for translation projects: once your novel is finished talk to thelastguardian, create a thread on the forum with a voting system so people can tell if they want to see your novel or not on Baka-Tsuki. On the first post, write the series/novel synopsis and then wait for the replies. After people had the chance to vote for a few weeks and there is a satisfactory result, create the page and start posting. I'm looking forward to your novel, both as an avid reader and as a fellow writer. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

So yeah, I'm wondering if you should just capitalized the 1st letter in every word in the novel volume title so that it looks nice.
Btw, nice writing.
It reminds of Kyon, and you have a lot of references taken from other series, which is fun to read for us otakus.
Overall "Good Job!" *thumbs up*

* Thank you very much. As I said before, this thing started as a rant on Haruhi and that's why there are some similarities. To me Shin-tsu is what Kyon (a regular, snarky guy) would be if the weird stuff started happening to him when he was a kid, without a single pretty friend around to help him (I used "friend" instead of "girl" because, honestly, even straight guys are going bi for Itsuki. True story). Because of that he became someone who is constantly terrified, over analytical and anxious as a dog when seeing a postman and his bag, along with many other symptoms; clearly, we have a case of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurosis psychoneurosis] in our hands. Good thing he landed on a freak town, at least he is not the only one who is damaged. Also, here is a fun game to play along with reading this: try to figure out which kind of disorder(s) each character has based on their sentences and the other characters' impressions on them. Post the results here: I think all but one character can be fully analyzed just with Wiki pages, although I must say psychology books can help a lot. Regular people play "doctor", but the hardcore ones play "Psychology House M.D."! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

---Man, this is great! It was my dream to have a work of fiction that comments on cliches in just the way you do it. i like
your style very much)
also, i spotted some grammatical errors. but in which talk page do i post the corrections? this one?
anyway, looking forward to the 2nd novel.
PS. i know how to write correctly, i just hate capital letters, so i'm sorry about that. idiffer.

* To be honest I was kind of wanting for a ''metamanga'' story to show too, although I had my doubts about how well that plan could be executed (there are a few things that are better left as ''theory'' instead of being put in ''practice'', such as interactive media and communism). When you find grammatical errors feel free to edit the chapter, preferably leaving a comment afterwards to point out my mistakes on the respective chapter's talk page. I too am looking forward to the second novel, mostly because I don't want it to take a year to be complete like the first one did (never take hiatus on writing, they ruin your life). PS. I don't know how to write correctly, therefore I use capital letters. Not sorry about that at all, except I truly am. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hi! I actually saw your novel before on textnovel.com and I also have my novel there (code 3079). Also thank you for your advice, I get now how troublesome it is - especially for someone as lazy and impatient as me. [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* A fellow textnovelist! I haven't accessed that website in a while, and I guess it shows because the early fragment of the novels posted there are raw as meat before barbecue. So, I just read your story: it feels dark but told from the point-of-view of a protagonist who hasn't been corrupted yet, so there was no way I could not like it. And it's not that troublesome especially because everyone here is kind enough to give support and offer criticism when you need it. Totally worth it. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Actually, there's something that actually makes me sad.
It's about Ayaka. She appeared at the last chapter, became the culprit, and then got transfered.
I hope she got reintroduced later on, I really really hope so...

* Unfortunately, I could not introduce her before: the whole incident just happened because she wasn't present in the first day of the week. This let me a little sad too, because she is psychotic as hell and managed to keep it all inside herself until the moment was right. She carries knives around too and would stab you after being flirty and stuff; my kind of girl character, although I am not fond of her Shugoshin because it's the easiest to defeat compared to the others I planned. I cannot talk about Ayaka's future right now, but on the special ''metastory'' (that happens between novel 1 and 2) the characters will comment on her transfer; she even appears on it, so rejoice! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno! Your light novel is good to epic proportions. Your after word mentions that you don't have a style, but the style used in this story was VERY prominent and VERY enjoyable. I hope you meet success and that someone publishes this, it will do well. I'm also VERY surprised, pleasantly so, that you yourself posted this on baka tsuki for us. We all thank you and wish you good luck.
PS if you want one of us to make a few tweaks grammatically just ask, its one of the few things the baka crowd and faculty are rather good at.

* Epic proportions? Does that means I am going to get an anime by SHAFT and a movie with DEEN's budget? '''Best. Life. Ever.''' Thank you very much about your kind comment and I'm glad you enjoy this as much as I do (boredom strikes me easily). I've been reading Baka-Tsuki novel translations for a while and I thought you guys would like this better than the editors assigned to reply my query letters did, probably because it would be very hard to like it less. J.K. Rowling needed 5 years to get the first Harry Potter novel published, so I guess I have around 4 years to live in despair until I ragequit or something like that. Also, feel free to edit the chapters and banish the grammar mistakes back to their evil dimension by waving your mighty sword. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

-I just finished reading/editing vol. 1 and I love your writing style. It really brings out Shin-tsu's perspective very well and makes his character seem very believable. Your English isn't the worst I've seen as you only make a few grammatical mistakes and the occasional poor word choice but it's nothing a good editor can't correct since you still get the general idea across. In all, the universe you have created in The Longing of Shiina Ryo has, in my opinion, unimaginable potential for expansion and I am greatly looking forward to your future works. P.S. Your cultural and meme references are great! -[BerylRaven]

* Thank you very much. About the "unimaginable potential for expansion" I must say I plan ahead (often too much for my own good) and yes, things are going to get crazy from here on out. My favorite manga is JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and if you're familiar with Hirohiko Araki's way of constantly building/expanding the universe you're going to like this too. My intention is to make this universe expand massively until the Big Crunch at the final story, "SCENARIO FRONTIER" (almost entirely outlined, not available on DVD or BD, people die). I just need to write enough stories in between to make sure I won't be the only one crying when it ends. About the references, most people insert them in their works as individual easter eggs; I think it's funnier if you just throw them as full baskets. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno, just as a minor heads up. Since I'm fairly confident a lot of people will want to read this, can you get the Baka Tsuki team to add this on the light novel list? Other then having this page saved and clicking through the recent changes, its slightly difficult to find. Good luck with everything!

* I'm not sure if I can. I know it would get a lot more of visibility amongst the other big name light novels (against common-sense but not again marketing techniques), but I don't think I have the heart to ask thelastguardian to change it. Plus, being the only novel in a category feels so ''avantgarde''. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Clap, clap, clap. I spent half my night reading this while writing my Physics lab and was thoroughly entertained. The monologues by the protagonist were humorous enough to actually make me laugh (I don't usually laugh when reading something). The interactions between characters are interesting, especially Kouma--I'm rooting for her victory, for some reason. You've got something good growing here. Hope you keep feeding it. -Visicury

* Reading a light novel while writing a paper for Physics class? Good grief, that sounds like a dangerous combination! Still, I am grateful and pleased; it's always good to know this story is keeping someone else amused other than myself. Just like my first story, The Underground Tower, this is keeping me awake at night with blooming new characters and bizarre situations; unfortunately, just like my first story, there is too much plotting going on and very little writing at the moment (only one tenth of the second novel was written so far, much to my dismay). However, this kind of comment might be exactly what I need to go back to the actual work: to know I should not keep the bits that are actually interesting to myself. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

I was hoping for very unusual super powers D; But i guess your going to go hunting-team route - Code 649426684

* Can't tell much about the "hunting team" thing without completely ruining the first chapter on the second novel (although ruining something I'm having trouble writing does sound appealing), but you can '''definitely''' count on crazy JoJo-style powers with limitations that stop the characters from being gods. On a different note, I'm almost done with the special ''metastory'' that will give out three details on the next one and counts with the ''super special tokubetsu na kimi miracle baby I'm happy to be with you etc'' participation of Morimoto Ayaka. We all know she could use the screen time, poor girl. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Very, very interesting. I'm loving the random references and the main character's sarcastic speeches. But one quick question: is his paranoia/mental...issues (schizophrenia, perchance?) going to be an important plot twist or is this going to be a semi-fantastical, pseudo-realistic novel? Actually don't answer that; I want to finish reading first. :3 --[[User:Musicguyguy|musicguyguy]] 02:25, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

* Have you finished already? I am in the mood for spoilers. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
I need to know if you are going to have cookies?Also when is next chapter coming? Is there going to be lots of plot twists~649426684
* Chocolate cookies and I shall bake them when I, well, learn how to bake. The prologue of the second novel has been written a while ago, but I'd rather finish the first chapter before I start posting the story to avoid making you guys wait a lot for new chapters I haven't written yet (which is a very unfortunate thing, considering the first chapter of the second novel is being harder to write than the ones that come after it or the second story of that volume for that matter). More like plot, genre and even "character" twists at the same time: what I can guarantee is that you'll get the chance to see the characters in a different light in this new volume. Happy holidays, 649426684-san. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i just noticed this novel today and i read through it in one go! it's interesting indeed! XD
but sometime i still have a hard time imagining how kouma looks. oh, and she's my favorite character ^^
good luck writing this
* I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to read it one go: recently I've done the same to a manga series, Drifting Classroom by Kazuo Umezu (I advise you to read the manga because is almost too good and avoid the live action movie like it was the black plague itself because it's just that bad). Thank you very much. Kouma has a slender frame, eyes without expression, fashionable designer clothes when not in school and [http://cabelosfortes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/reese-witherspoon-medium-layered-hair269.jpg something like this] as hairstyle, except black and a little more layered because I'm just a sucker for those things (nothing extreme as one of the girls in the next novel, but still); on a similar note, I used to have a rough but "official" draft of her face on my computer but I'm afraid it was lost when I formatted my hard disk. She is my favorite character so far too, but with the things going like this I don't know for how long she'll remain like that: I planned the overall story of this series while writing the first volume but now that I'm actually working on new scenes I can see that the characters I poorly devised back then grew along with me and now have their own charm and appeal, at least enough to confuse me. I cannot really blame Shin-tsu if he gets confused along the way too. Once again, thank you very much and I hope you enjoy the second volume. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hats off and round of applause to you for your great light novel. you've got a really colorful set of characters and a very impressive plot. Wishing you the best of luck for your novels and if this ever gets published, I want to be one of the first to buy it just to show my support!
* Thank you for your support. It's good to read such kind words while trying to finish a chapter that simply won't die so the other ones can be born. I'll never, ever try and introduce three characters at a time again (and by that I mean actually introducing, not just giving their names). Last time it was relevant to the plot so I couldn't let Shin-tsu meet Ayaka before that day, but I'm sure there's no way I could get away with that kind of stuff twice. Hopefully I'll get it done today. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Great story man, I liked it a lot. Is the unfortunate banana incident a reference to bakemonogatari? I didn't get all the puns because I don't really watch/read much animes/mangas but it was still enjoyable :D. Update soon please! - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* It is a Bakemonogatari reference indeed. I'm glad to learn that this can be enjoyable to someone who is not deep into the anime and manga scene because frankly, I've been exposed to it for so long sometimes I wonder if people in real life could understand what I'm talking about. The first chapter of the second volume simply does not want to end, currently at 14k words or so and all I want to do is to get done with it, but I can't rush it too much because that would ruin the pace of the volume in its entirety and it was pretty weird to begin with... All I can say is that the new girls and the interactions of the cast are worth it; compared to the introspective and "lonely" first chapter of novel one I'd say this is turning out to be rather crowded, and it this was an anime we'd be around episode 3 or 4 when the viewer is starting to warm up to the setting. Thus, time to add depth. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

New chapter ; great. Thanks for the update! Good flow, great stuff overall but there is one thing bugging me! The protagonist is just too damn perfect. He's a pro bass player and a music know-it-all (this annoy me the most). He's a "cordon bleu". He's somewhat rich and have total parental independence.. Every girl he meets seems to like him in some way etc... Overall, dream life imo. SURE, he has some flaws (mystery magnet and all) and he really wish he could just live a "normal life" (just to rub it in!). Am I what they call a "hater" or what? :P - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* Good to see you again. No, you're definitely not a hater: you like Shin-tsu's life enough to want it yourself (and I could do with a studio flat, a five-string bass and that money too, if you ask me)! The thing is, you are falling for his trap. Sure, he has plenty of good points (although I would hardly say he's a "cordon bleu" for cooking a recipe he got off the internet, and I am pretty sad to announce that the general definition of "good bassist" usually means "I don't need the guitarist to teach me my parts, which would be following the rhythm guitar the whole song"), but at the very least to me the flaws are much, much greater than the virtues and that's what makes him interesting as a character: he may not be that much of a pathological liar but he is absurdly prejudiced and cranky, he makes the same mistakes over and over again, hates being manipulated yet does it to others, pushes people to their edges without knowing why, practically flirts with every person he meets because he has no idea how to express or deal with "friendship", has a tendency to avoid his problems, never trusts anyone completely (which could be seen as a virtue in the world he lives in, but still), only considers consequences when they will directly affect his life, is a paranoid with overwhelming guilt on his mind, the kid is so lonely he can't possibly be in a relationship of any kind without things getting serious in the matter of hours and he projects his fears and hopes on people instead of waiting to see what they really are, to the point of seeing them as characters with stereotypes all over them. The boy is a bloody trainwreck if you ask me, and from the point the second protagonist enters the story it will be hard not to compare the two of them and see how different from the usual "let's defend our NAKAMA" leaders/heroes Shin-tsu is. Painfully. To be a little more specific on the other virtues, you must keep in mind he sees his parental independence as parental abandonment (justified, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less) and I can't tell you much right now but when he said "I do not consider myself a particularly wealthy individual for a reason or two" in this chapter it was foreshadowing, so expect a clarification on why he seems to be full of cash on a few things (goddamn big house, neat bass and CD collection) yet eats instant ramen for breakfast. About the music thing, you're going to hate this: I was exactly like him and Rin in that aspect when I was in highschool. Hell, even today I argue with audio engineers and musicians over their own work (yes, '''WITH''' them) because music is one of those things that can achieve a "degree of perfection" by using many distinct, completely unrelated routes. Therefore, music is serious business: well produced recordings in lossless quality are appreciated, songwriting that is anything short of mindblowing regardless of genre isn't. Last but not least important, I think there is no way people like him can be fully happy with their lives, period: the real problems with Shin-tsu wanting a normal life are: a) he clearly does not live in a world that supports that and b) the problem is him and not the rest of the world, so he either changes his ways for real or he'll never, ever be pleased with any sort of life he leads no matter how blessed he is. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* [Post scriptum : English isn't my mother language] Thanks for the perspective. I went back to read some parts of the first volume and you are right.. I've greatly overlooked some of his psychological problems :P. Now that you mention this, I feel like maybe I was angrier at him thinking/doing stupid shit than him being blessed. About the music part, I think that flaws that we hate the most in others are mainly our own. I'm a music enthusiasm too, I used to be a member at what.cd and waffles.fm (though not by legitimate means :P ). So that's why I'm a little aggravated by that I guess.. Great answer - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]

This is something that has been bugging me since I started reading your novel. Have you considered adding pictures?Or at least some pictures of the characters? I personally wanted to do fanart for a long time, but since there's no finished character designs, I was a bit afraid.
* The official character design and novel illustrations were supposed to be done by kyuu, but recently he's been absurdly busy with his job. [http://twitter.com/GJsoft @GJsoft] did some [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/Kouma%20by%20gjsoft.PNG fanart] based on his own interpretation of the characters and I liked it a lot. Personally, I'm looking forward to see the characters through your eyes. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* I pictured her as blonde, guess that's just me. GJSoft's kouma looks like Urabe from Mysterious Girlfriend X. - [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]
* YES. God, I love that design... I heard a couple things about the manga, as in "it's fabulous until the Idol arc, then it all goes to hell and reading it becomes a waste of time". Is that so? My personal backlog already has 14 manga I actively want to list so I'm not sure if it's worth investing the time on it now... - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* The idol arc was definitely sub-par, but before and afterwards it's definitely not a waste of time. However, I'm probably a bit biased as I work on the team scanlating it. [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]
* Biased? Au contraire, chances are you have a deeper understanding of the situation due to working directly with the RAWs so I will take your word for it. By the way, if you're looking for a monthly project that already has a fanbase but for some reason no stable scanlation source as of now, give "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure part 8: JoJoLion" a chance. Araki just introduced a character who is a blind girl addicted to progressive rock living in a house of horrors, I definitely need my fix of that... - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

yo! i succumbed to my curiosity and read the uploaded part of vol. 2. wow, you really do have talent! i really didn't expect some plot twists (relationship with Rin! god, that was so masterfully done.) but i think it got too sad too soon, with the whole Ryo under the tree scene. i wish the gang had a bit more fun and adventures.
sometimes the language is too heavy for me.it's good that you are advancing your english skills, but the sentence sructure in some parts is needlessly complicated, imho. like you are forcing it to be complicated (did i guess? i did almost the same thing with my novel).
don't take it the wrong way. your novel is very enjoyable and you do bring in some originality. and i'm eagerly awaiting the future chapters. it's just a habit of mine to criticise even the things i like.
also why is the second chapter called Akane? she didn't do much in it...
--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:21, 18 February 2012 (CST)
* Great to see you again. Sorry for taking this long to reply, I did not get the usual e-mail from this page being edited... Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the Rin scenes, but if I comment on the relationship right now there won't be much of a point in reading the following chapters. And I'm sorry for the sudden change in mood, but I can't comment on it either. As a tip, keep in mind that Shin-tsu did not act like this before so something changed. Maybe it's something that could change back... see where I'm getting at? Regarding the vocabulary and sentence structure, I've been "reading" a thesaurus (I won't say word by word, but yes, kind of) along with a few books on style so it rubbed off on me and even my editor complained to me about that too and has been doing a lot of cuts because it was actually slightly more verbose than it is now. It's extra funny when you consider that I still make the most ridiculous mistakes such as using "in" when it's "on" and vice-versa: this fellow can barely speak the language on a basic level but insists on dropping jargon like pigeons drop... not a good analogy. And whoa, hold on for a moment: did you finish a novel? Is it '''that''' novel you were writing back in 2010? Where is it? WHERE?And you know, the chapter title always goes to the character who is doing her "thing" (that is, the main attribute of her personality) the most; since Akane's trait seems to be going unnoticed... well, she managed to be almost irrelevant in her own chapter. Irony much? - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Thanks for explaining. Yes, it's that novel from 2010, but i didn't get past chapter one, whic you have read. I concluded that it's not my thing. I don't have much of an imagination((. Instead, i'm translating other light novels into Russian right now.(here, on baka-tsuki).

If i can find the time, i'll edit your works, if you don't mind. You have an editor, but there are still mistakes (no offense to the editor). I'll probably try doing more liberal editting, like actually changing the sentence structure for better flow. If you won't like it, as you know, you can just undo the edits...

Also, there are some instances, where the change of scene is not evident. Like, they are having a dialouge in one place, then in another. And the exact point when the location changed isn't emphasized. Maybe it's me being dumb. But if you'd like, i can look through the chapters again and find those parts.(there were 2 such instances i think).
Anyway, i won't make any promises yet.

Any ETA on when the next chapter will be done?

BTW, do you know of some other original light novels? Me being me, i'll spend 3 hours in google searching for them, so...if you know of some, can you give me the links please? If it's not too much trouble...

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 08:49, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Imagination is unnecessary, especially if you take Kouma Yon's viewpoint/method explained in the new chapter. Still, it pleases me to know you're working on translation. I've been considering to help with English to Brazilian Portuguese for a while, might start with Bakemonogatari's Mayoi Snail if I have the time: the team who translated that only did Hitagi Crab. Now, about editing... although I really appreciate the offer I'll have to say no because I think he'd take offense to that. Thank you all the same and I'm sorry. No ETA, as they are already written but not edited yet and I don't want to bypass him. Regarding OEL Light Novels, thing is I'm working with a good friend who is also a fan of Shiina Ryo on the idea of a serial online magazine/label for Light Novels, so I might have a good answer to your question soon. If you consider picking up writing once again, do let me know. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Dang it. Whenever I read your new chapter I'm disappearing from this world for a half an hour, at the very least. It isn't that hard for me, since I'm obsessed with books, yet it's difficult to make me grin like a madman for the entire chapter. And you can. 
I'm already eager for next chapter since it'd be about Rin. I have to say it - I like Rin the best from new characters. Yep. 
Also, I'm interested in what you have in your sleeves for us. That city is too distorted to be normal and peaceful. And it's wonderful. I do wonder who's gonna end up with a hole in the skull. 
Oh, I strayed off the topic. Wonderful work, great characters. Good luck with finding a publisher --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 10:20, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Nostalgia... this reminds me of three or four years ago when I couldn't sleep and would just read books all night so time would pass; can't say those were good days or that I sleep much better now, but the books were usually good so there was always the thrill of disappearing in the night into someone else's universe and it feels great to know that I can produce that effect on someone. Rin is my editor's favorite too, and I think before that it was Reikoku... wait, I might be starting to see a pattern here. Anyway, I can definitely understand the massive appeal of a flirty-bordering-on-opressive codependent music elitist, oh yes I can. Yep. And you're getting it... that city is going to be sparkling with "fun". Also, someone really, '''really''' is getting that hole in the skull, no trolling or last-minute cop-out: this is happening so just wait for it. Off-topic is what this is all about. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you can enjoy the ride because as the last line in Chapter 2.5 shows, it's all going to get crazier from this point on. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Heh, yeah. Every good writer wants it, and you're making it very, very good. Hm, I do recall something about your editor's favorite heroine but I feel lazy to actually search for that...

Oh yeah, such characters have their charm. That's for sure.

You're just sparking my interest. I do want to see what kind of crazy fun it would be. Also, Kouma's gonna take part in it?

You're welcome. After reading your last chapter I actually wrote a prologue for something bizzare which is forming in my head, after all. This party's getting crazy, huh. --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 11:49, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Fun as in Animorphs meets JoJo's Bizarre Adventure meets Hunter X Hunter: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hgIP7G8zno&feature=youtu.be&t=2m37s this party is never over]. When you ask me about Kouma like that it's really hard not to leak the other two chapters so you can know for sure whether she'll be relevant or not... or rather, in which way. Jesus, it's like now that I can't answer because the truth is right around the corner you guys decided to ask all the right questions at once. I'd love to check your writing, so do show me when you have something you're even half happy with! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

...Interesting. One never-ending night, huh? 
I see. I'll be waiting then. No need to spoil all the fun. 
Thanks for kind words. Will love to see what role has Kouma in coming events. --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 03:01, 24 March 2012 (CDT)
* Hyakki Yagyou, yes. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Just something I noticed - this isn't on the Android app. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that it's in the OLN section? I figure this ought to be in the app - it's kinda hard to read on the main site while on the go, since most phone screens are so small. Maybe get the coder for the app to take a look? [[User:WingsofSnow|WingsofSnow]] 10:43, 23 March 2012 (CDT)

* Reported it on the App's Official thread. If the novel wasn't so full of italics and underlines that are plot relevant, I would compile a J2ME version of the chapters so far released myself for you. Since that won't do, would any other sort of file extension (MS Word or something) help in your case? - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

== About the Editing ==

As I was reading, I noticed that there was some fixing to do. They were just misspelled words, missing words and also some errors grammar wise. I could've fixed them right then but I was too interested or intrigued reading the book that I could not stop. I'd like to fix them but regarding the editing post, would you still like me to post as to why an error was made? They're spread around Volume 1 and Volume 2, so I'd rather focus on fixing all of them than posting about each one. --[[User:Stratos|Stratos]] ([[User talk:Stratos|talk]]) 16:22, 12 January 2013 (CST)
* No, it's alright: if you feel like it would prevent you from focusing on the editing, it's fine even if you don't leave the notes. Thank you for your interest and I'm glad you enjoyed the books because number 3 is driving me insane here. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* If it's something worth mentioning, I'll post it here, that's why I made a new topic. Thanks for the quick reply, and good luck! I'll start right now. --[[User:Stratos|Stratos]] ([[User talk:Stratos|talk]]) 17:05, 12 January 2013 (CST)

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2013-01-12T22:30:02Z

Ryuno: Regarding edits

Great work! You certainly made my day! I was surprised by how interesting this novel was that I continued reading even though it's 2.40 am already. I do hope to see more chapters up soon, certainly looking forward to it =D - [[User:Destinyz|Destinyz]]

* I am going to finish posting this tomorrow, it's just that adapting the weird formatting I used on MS Word to Wiki-formatting is harder than it looks. I'm glad you liked it; getting positive feedback makes this otherwise empty day of mine a much, much better one. Thank you very much. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

hmm I look forward to the next chapter. I already read the 3rd chapter elsewhere. The story is weird in some places but that's okay. Still curious about what will happpen

* Weird is good, sometimes; because of weirdness, we've got bloody awesome stuff such as djent, hair coloring and SHAFT. I'm going to post the last chapter later, so get yourself ready for some weird action. [http://soundcloud.com/corelia/glass-faces-1 Listen to this while you wait, it's delicious.] - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo = The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya... RIGHT>?

* It started as a rant on that series, yes. It grew on me by the ending line of the first chapter, so I said "what the heck" and decided to take it serious. Not too serious, though. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

very good story, i like it

* Thank you very much. [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i super quote the comment upXD (just a question, you are writing or translating this??)

* Writing (and technically translating, considering the fact I'm not a native English speaker; yeah, that sounds like a good way to get away with stupid mistakes). The sequel is coming along nicely, too. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

nice story, deservers to be serialized(be made in a book, sorry but i too am not english, i am italianXD)

* Thank you very much. It's highly unlikely unless I follow the dreadful path of self-publishing, but I suppose the possibility exists.[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Is it possible to publish here on baka-tsuki my original light novel I'm writing? [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* The criteria is the same they use for translation projects: once your novel is finished talk to thelastguardian, create a thread on the forum with a voting system so people can tell if they want to see your novel or not on Baka-Tsuki. On the first post, write the series/novel synopsis and then wait for the replies. After people had the chance to vote for a few weeks and there is a satisfactory result, create the page and start posting. I'm looking forward to your novel, both as an avid reader and as a fellow writer. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

So yeah, I'm wondering if you should just capitalized the 1st letter in every word in the novel volume title so that it looks nice.
Btw, nice writing.
It reminds of Kyon, and you have a lot of references taken from other series, which is fun to read for us otakus.
Overall "Good Job!" *thumbs up*

* Thank you very much. As I said before, this thing started as a rant on Haruhi and that's why there are some similarities. To me Shin-tsu is what Kyon (a regular, snarky guy) would be if the weird stuff started happening to him when he was a kid, without a single pretty friend around to help him (I used "friend" instead of "girl" because, honestly, even straight guys are going bi for Itsuki. True story). Because of that he became someone who is constantly terrified, over analytical and anxious as a dog when seeing a postman and his bag, along with many other symptoms; clearly, we have a case of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurosis psychoneurosis] in our hands. Good thing he landed on a freak town, at least he is not the only one who is damaged. Also, here is a fun game to play along with reading this: try to figure out which kind of disorder(s) each character has based on their sentences and the other characters' impressions on them. Post the results here: I think all but one character can be fully analyzed just with Wiki pages, although I must say psychology books can help a lot. Regular people play "doctor", but the hardcore ones play "Psychology House M.D."! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

---Man, this is great! It was my dream to have a work of fiction that comments on cliches in just the way you do it. i like
your style very much)
also, i spotted some grammatical errors. but in which talk page do i post the corrections? this one?
anyway, looking forward to the 2nd novel.
PS. i know how to write correctly, i just hate capital letters, so i'm sorry about that. idiffer.

* To be honest I was kind of wanting for a ''metamanga'' story to show too, although I had my doubts about how well that plan could be executed (there are a few things that are better left as ''theory'' instead of being put in ''practice'', such as interactive media and communism). When you find grammatical errors feel free to edit the chapter, preferably leaving a comment afterwards to point out my mistakes on the respective chapter's talk page. I too am looking forward to the second novel, mostly because I don't want it to take a year to be complete like the first one did (never take hiatus on writing, they ruin your life). PS. I don't know how to write correctly, therefore I use capital letters. Not sorry about that at all, except I truly am. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hi! I actually saw your novel before on textnovel.com and I also have my novel there (code 3079). Also thank you for your advice, I get now how troublesome it is - especially for someone as lazy and impatient as me. [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* A fellow textnovelist! I haven't accessed that website in a while, and I guess it shows because the early fragment of the novels posted there are raw as meat before barbecue. So, I just read your story: it feels dark but told from the point-of-view of a protagonist who hasn't been corrupted yet, so there was no way I could not like it. And it's not that troublesome especially because everyone here is kind enough to give support and offer criticism when you need it. Totally worth it. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Actually, there's something that actually makes me sad.
It's about Ayaka. She appeared at the last chapter, became the culprit, and then got transfered.
I hope she got reintroduced later on, I really really hope so...

* Unfortunately, I could not introduce her before: the whole incident just happened because she wasn't present in the first day of the week. This let me a little sad too, because she is psychotic as hell and managed to keep it all inside herself until the moment was right. She carries knives around too and would stab you after being flirty and stuff; my kind of girl character, although I am not fond of her Shugoshin because it's the easiest to defeat compared to the others I planned. I cannot talk about Ayaka's future right now, but on the special ''metastory'' (that happens between novel 1 and 2) the characters will comment on her transfer; she even appears on it, so rejoice! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno! Your light novel is good to epic proportions. Your after word mentions that you don't have a style, but the style used in this story was VERY prominent and VERY enjoyable. I hope you meet success and that someone publishes this, it will do well. I'm also VERY surprised, pleasantly so, that you yourself posted this on baka tsuki for us. We all thank you and wish you good luck.
PS if you want one of us to make a few tweaks grammatically just ask, its one of the few things the baka crowd and faculty are rather good at.

* Epic proportions? Does that means I am going to get an anime by SHAFT and a movie with DEEN's budget? '''Best. Life. Ever.''' Thank you very much about your kind comment and I'm glad you enjoy this as much as I do (boredom strikes me easily). I've been reading Baka-Tsuki novel translations for a while and I thought you guys would like this better than the editors assigned to reply my query letters did, probably because it would be very hard to like it less. J.K. Rowling needed 5 years to get the first Harry Potter novel published, so I guess I have around 4 years to live in despair until I ragequit or something like that. Also, feel free to edit the chapters and banish the grammar mistakes back to their evil dimension by waving your mighty sword. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

-I just finished reading/editing vol. 1 and I love your writing style. It really brings out Shin-tsu's perspective very well and makes his character seem very believable. Your English isn't the worst I've seen as you only make a few grammatical mistakes and the occasional poor word choice but it's nothing a good editor can't correct since you still get the general idea across. In all, the universe you have created in The Longing of Shiina Ryo has, in my opinion, unimaginable potential for expansion and I am greatly looking forward to your future works. P.S. Your cultural and meme references are great! -[BerylRaven]

* Thank you very much. About the "unimaginable potential for expansion" I must say I plan ahead (often too much for my own good) and yes, things are going to get crazy from here on out. My favorite manga is JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and if you're familiar with Hirohiko Araki's way of constantly building/expanding the universe you're going to like this too. My intention is to make this universe expand massively until the Big Crunch at the final story, "SCENARIO FRONTIER" (almost entirely outlined, not available on DVD or BD, people die). I just need to write enough stories in between to make sure I won't be the only one crying when it ends. About the references, most people insert them in their works as individual easter eggs; I think it's funnier if you just throw them as full baskets. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno, just as a minor heads up. Since I'm fairly confident a lot of people will want to read this, can you get the Baka Tsuki team to add this on the light novel list? Other then having this page saved and clicking through the recent changes, its slightly difficult to find. Good luck with everything!

* I'm not sure if I can. I know it would get a lot more of visibility amongst the other big name light novels (against common-sense but not again marketing techniques), but I don't think I have the heart to ask thelastguardian to change it. Plus, being the only novel in a category feels so ''avantgarde''. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Clap, clap, clap. I spent half my night reading this while writing my Physics lab and was thoroughly entertained. The monologues by the protagonist were humorous enough to actually make me laugh (I don't usually laugh when reading something). The interactions between characters are interesting, especially Kouma--I'm rooting for her victory, for some reason. You've got something good growing here. Hope you keep feeding it. -Visicury

* Reading a light novel while writing a paper for Physics class? Good grief, that sounds like a dangerous combination! Still, I am grateful and pleased; it's always good to know this story is keeping someone else amused other than myself. Just like my first story, The Underground Tower, this is keeping me awake at night with blooming new characters and bizarre situations; unfortunately, just like my first story, there is too much plotting going on and very little writing at the moment (only one tenth of the second novel was written so far, much to my dismay). However, this kind of comment might be exactly what I need to go back to the actual work: to know I should not keep the bits that are actually interesting to myself. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

I was hoping for very unusual super powers D; But i guess your going to go hunting-team route - Code 649426684

* Can't tell much about the "hunting team" thing without completely ruining the first chapter on the second novel (although ruining something I'm having trouble writing does sound appealing), but you can '''definitely''' count on crazy JoJo-style powers with limitations that stop the characters from being gods. On a different note, I'm almost done with the special ''metastory'' that will give out three details on the next one and counts with the ''super special tokubetsu na kimi miracle baby I'm happy to be with you etc'' participation of Morimoto Ayaka. We all know she could use the screen time, poor girl. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Very, very interesting. I'm loving the random references and the main character's sarcastic speeches. But one quick question: is his paranoia/mental...issues (schizophrenia, perchance?) going to be an important plot twist or is this going to be a semi-fantastical, pseudo-realistic novel? Actually don't answer that; I want to finish reading first. :3 --[[User:Musicguyguy|musicguyguy]] 02:25, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

* Have you finished already? I am in the mood for spoilers. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
I need to know if you are going to have cookies?Also when is next chapter coming? Is there going to be lots of plot twists~649426684
* Chocolate cookies and I shall bake them when I, well, learn how to bake. The prologue of the second novel has been written a while ago, but I'd rather finish the first chapter before I start posting the story to avoid making you guys wait a lot for new chapters I haven't written yet (which is a very unfortunate thing, considering the first chapter of the second novel is being harder to write than the ones that come after it or the second story of that volume for that matter). More like plot, genre and even "character" twists at the same time: what I can guarantee is that you'll get the chance to see the characters in a different light in this new volume. Happy holidays, 649426684-san. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i just noticed this novel today and i read through it in one go! it's interesting indeed! XD
but sometime i still have a hard time imagining how kouma looks. oh, and she's my favorite character ^^
good luck writing this
* I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to read it one go: recently I've done the same to a manga series, Drifting Classroom by Kazuo Umezu (I advise you to read the manga because is almost too good and avoid the live action movie like it was the black plague itself because it's just that bad). Thank you very much. Kouma has a slender frame, eyes without expression, fashionable designer clothes when not in school and [http://cabelosfortes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/reese-witherspoon-medium-layered-hair269.jpg something like this] as hairstyle, except black and a little more layered because I'm just a sucker for those things (nothing extreme as one of the girls in the next novel, but still); on a similar note, I used to have a rough but "official" draft of her face on my computer but I'm afraid it was lost when I formatted my hard disk. She is my favorite character so far too, but with the things going like this I don't know for how long she'll remain like that: I planned the overall story of this series while writing the first volume but now that I'm actually working on new scenes I can see that the characters I poorly devised back then grew along with me and now have their own charm and appeal, at least enough to confuse me. I cannot really blame Shin-tsu if he gets confused along the way too. Once again, thank you very much and I hope you enjoy the second volume. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hats off and round of applause to you for your great light novel. you've got a really colorful set of characters and a very impressive plot. Wishing you the best of luck for your novels and if this ever gets published, I want to be one of the first to buy it just to show my support!
* Thank you for your support. It's good to read such kind words while trying to finish a chapter that simply won't die so the other ones can be born. I'll never, ever try and introduce three characters at a time again (and by that I mean actually introducing, not just giving their names). Last time it was relevant to the plot so I couldn't let Shin-tsu meet Ayaka before that day, but I'm sure there's no way I could get away with that kind of stuff twice. Hopefully I'll get it done today. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Great story man, I liked it a lot. Is the unfortunate banana incident a reference to bakemonogatari? I didn't get all the puns because I don't really watch/read much animes/mangas but it was still enjoyable :D. Update soon please! - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* It is a Bakemonogatari reference indeed. I'm glad to learn that this can be enjoyable to someone who is not deep into the anime and manga scene because frankly, I've been exposed to it for so long sometimes I wonder if people in real life could understand what I'm talking about. The first chapter of the second volume simply does not want to end, currently at 14k words or so and all I want to do is to get done with it, but I can't rush it too much because that would ruin the pace of the volume in its entirety and it was pretty weird to begin with... All I can say is that the new girls and the interactions of the cast are worth it; compared to the introspective and "lonely" first chapter of novel one I'd say this is turning out to be rather crowded, and it this was an anime we'd be around episode 3 or 4 when the viewer is starting to warm up to the setting. Thus, time to add depth. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

New chapter ; great. Thanks for the update! Good flow, great stuff overall but there is one thing bugging me! The protagonist is just too damn perfect. He's a pro bass player and a music know-it-all (this annoy me the most). He's a "cordon bleu". He's somewhat rich and have total parental independence.. Every girl he meets seems to like him in some way etc... Overall, dream life imo. SURE, he has some flaws (mystery magnet and all) and he really wish he could just live a "normal life" (just to rub it in!). Am I what they call a "hater" or what? :P - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* Good to see you again. No, you're definitely not a hater: you like Shin-tsu's life enough to want it yourself (and I could do with a studio flat, a five-string bass and that money too, if you ask me)! The thing is, you are falling for his trap. Sure, he has plenty of good points (although I would hardly say he's a "cordon bleu" for cooking a recipe he got off the internet, and I am pretty sad to announce that the general definition of "good bassist" usually means "I don't need the guitarist to teach me my parts, which would be following the rhythm guitar the whole song"), but at the very least to me the flaws are much, much greater than the virtues and that's what makes him interesting as a character: he may not be that much of a pathological liar but he is absurdly prejudiced and cranky, he makes the same mistakes over and over again, hates being manipulated yet does it to others, pushes people to their edges without knowing why, practically flirts with every person he meets because he has no idea how to express or deal with "friendship", has a tendency to avoid his problems, never trusts anyone completely (which could be seen as a virtue in the world he lives in, but still), only considers consequences when they will directly affect his life, is a paranoid with overwhelming guilt on his mind, the kid is so lonely he can't possibly be in a relationship of any kind without things getting serious in the matter of hours and he projects his fears and hopes on people instead of waiting to see what they really are, to the point of seeing them as characters with stereotypes all over them. The boy is a bloody trainwreck if you ask me, and from the point the second protagonist enters the story it will be hard not to compare the two of them and see how different from the usual "let's defend our NAKAMA" leaders/heroes Shin-tsu is. Painfully. To be a little more specific on the other virtues, you must keep in mind he sees his parental independence as parental abandonment (justified, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less) and I can't tell you much right now but when he said "I do not consider myself a particularly wealthy individual for a reason or two" in this chapter it was foreshadowing, so expect a clarification on why he seems to be full of cash on a few things (goddamn big house, neat bass and CD collection) yet eats instant ramen for breakfast. About the music thing, you're going to hate this: I was exactly like him and Rin in that aspect when I was in highschool. Hell, even today I argue with audio engineers and musicians over their own work (yes, '''WITH''' them) because music is one of those things that can achieve a "degree of perfection" by using many distinct, completely unrelated routes. Therefore, music is serious business: well produced recordings in lossless quality are appreciated, songwriting that is anything short of mindblowing regardless of genre isn't. Last but not least important, I think there is no way people like him can be fully happy with their lives, period: the real problems with Shin-tsu wanting a normal life are: a) he clearly does not live in a world that supports that and b) the problem is him and not the rest of the world, so he either changes his ways for real or he'll never, ever be pleased with any sort of life he leads no matter how blessed he is. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* [Post scriptum : English isn't my mother language] Thanks for the perspective. I went back to read some parts of the first volume and you are right.. I've greatly overlooked some of his psychological problems :P. Now that you mention this, I feel like maybe I was angrier at him thinking/doing stupid shit than him being blessed. About the music part, I think that flaws that we hate the most in others are mainly our own. I'm a music enthusiasm too, I used to be a member at what.cd and waffles.fm (though not by legitimate means :P ). So that's why I'm a little aggravated by that I guess.. Great answer - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]

This is something that has been bugging me since I started reading your novel. Have you considered adding pictures?Or at least some pictures of the characters? I personally wanted to do fanart for a long time, but since there's no finished character designs, I was a bit afraid.
* The official character design and novel illustrations were supposed to be done by kyuu, but recently he's been absurdly busy with his job. [http://twitter.com/GJsoft @GJsoft] did some [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/Kouma%20by%20gjsoft.PNG fanart] based on his own interpretation of the characters and I liked it a lot. Personally, I'm looking forward to see the characters through your eyes. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* I pictured her as blonde, guess that's just me. GJSoft's kouma looks like Urabe from Mysterious Girlfriend X. - [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]
* YES. God, I love that design... I heard a couple things about the manga, as in "it's fabulous until the Idol arc, then it all goes to hell and reading it becomes a waste of time". Is that so? My personal backlog already has 14 manga I actively want to list so I'm not sure if it's worth investing the time on it now... - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* The idol arc was definitely sub-par, but before and afterwards it's definitely not a waste of time. However, I'm probably a bit biased as I work on the team scanlating it. [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]
* Biased? Au contraire, chances are you have a deeper understanding of the situation due to working directly with the RAWs so I will take your word for it. By the way, if you're looking for a monthly project that already has a fanbase but for some reason no stable scanlation source as of now, give "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure part 8: JoJoLion" a chance. Araki just introduced a character who is a blind girl addicted to progressive rock living in a house of horrors, I definitely need my fix of that... - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

yo! i succumbed to my curiosity and read the uploaded part of vol. 2. wow, you really do have talent! i really didn't expect some plot twists (relationship with Rin! god, that was so masterfully done.) but i think it got too sad too soon, with the whole Ryo under the tree scene. i wish the gang had a bit more fun and adventures.
sometimes the language is too heavy for me.it's good that you are advancing your english skills, but the sentence sructure in some parts is needlessly complicated, imho. like you are forcing it to be complicated (did i guess? i did almost the same thing with my novel).
don't take it the wrong way. your novel is very enjoyable and you do bring in some originality. and i'm eagerly awaiting the future chapters. it's just a habit of mine to criticise even the things i like.
also why is the second chapter called Akane? she didn't do much in it...
--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:21, 18 February 2012 (CST)
* Great to see you again. Sorry for taking this long to reply, I did not get the usual e-mail from this page being edited... Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the Rin scenes, but if I comment on the relationship right now there won't be much of a point in reading the following chapters. And I'm sorry for the sudden change in mood, but I can't comment on it either. As a tip, keep in mind that Shin-tsu did not act like this before so something changed. Maybe it's something that could change back... see where I'm getting at? Regarding the vocabulary and sentence structure, I've been "reading" a thesaurus (I won't say word by word, but yes, kind of) along with a few books on style so it rubbed off on me and even my editor complained to me about that too and has been doing a lot of cuts because it was actually slightly more verbose than it is now. It's extra funny when you consider that I still make the most ridiculous mistakes such as using "in" when it's "on" and vice-versa: this fellow can barely speak the language on a basic level but insists on dropping jargon like pigeons drop... not a good analogy. And whoa, hold on for a moment: did you finish a novel? Is it '''that''' novel you were writing back in 2010? Where is it? WHERE?And you know, the chapter title always goes to the character who is doing her "thing" (that is, the main attribute of her personality) the most; since Akane's trait seems to be going unnoticed... well, she managed to be almost irrelevant in her own chapter. Irony much? - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Thanks for explaining. Yes, it's that novel from 2010, but i didn't get past chapter one, whic you have read. I concluded that it's not my thing. I don't have much of an imagination((. Instead, i'm translating other light novels into Russian right now.(here, on baka-tsuki).

If i can find the time, i'll edit your works, if you don't mind. You have an editor, but there are still mistakes (no offense to the editor). I'll probably try doing more liberal editting, like actually changing the sentence structure for better flow. If you won't like it, as you know, you can just undo the edits...

Also, there are some instances, where the change of scene is not evident. Like, they are having a dialouge in one place, then in another. And the exact point when the location changed isn't emphasized. Maybe it's me being dumb. But if you'd like, i can look through the chapters again and find those parts.(there were 2 such instances i think).
Anyway, i won't make any promises yet.

Any ETA on when the next chapter will be done?

BTW, do you know of some other original light novels? Me being me, i'll spend 3 hours in google searching for them, so...if you know of some, can you give me the links please? If it's not too much trouble...

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 08:49, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Imagination is unnecessary, especially if you take Kouma Yon's viewpoint/method explained in the new chapter. Still, it pleases me to know you're working on translation. I've been considering to help with English to Brazilian Portuguese for a while, might start with Bakemonogatari's Mayoi Snail if I have the time: the team who translated that only did Hitagi Crab. Now, about editing... although I really appreciate the offer I'll have to say no because I think he'd take offense to that. Thank you all the same and I'm sorry. No ETA, as they are already written but not edited yet and I don't want to bypass him. Regarding OEL Light Novels, thing is I'm working with a good friend who is also a fan of Shiina Ryo on the idea of a serial online magazine/label for Light Novels, so I might have a good answer to your question soon. If you consider picking up writing once again, do let me know. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Dang it. Whenever I read your new chapter I'm disappearing from this world for a half an hour, at the very least. It isn't that hard for me, since I'm obsessed with books, yet it's difficult to make me grin like a madman for the entire chapter. And you can. 
I'm already eager for next chapter since it'd be about Rin. I have to say it - I like Rin the best from new characters. Yep. 
Also, I'm interested in what you have in your sleeves for us. That city is too distorted to be normal and peaceful. And it's wonderful. I do wonder who's gonna end up with a hole in the skull. 
Oh, I strayed off the topic. Wonderful work, great characters. Good luck with finding a publisher --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 10:20, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Nostalgia... this reminds me of three or four years ago when I couldn't sleep and would just read books all night so time would pass; can't say those were good days or that I sleep much better now, but the books were usually good so there was always the thrill of disappearing in the night into someone else's universe and it feels great to know that I can produce that effect on someone. Rin is my editor's favorite too, and I think before that it was Reikoku... wait, I might be starting to see a pattern here. Anyway, I can definitely understand the massive appeal of a flirty-bordering-on-opressive codependent music elitist, oh yes I can. Yep. And you're getting it... that city is going to be sparkling with "fun". Also, someone really, '''really''' is getting that hole in the skull, no trolling or last-minute cop-out: this is happening so just wait for it. Off-topic is what this is all about. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you can enjoy the ride because as the last line in Chapter 2.5 shows, it's all going to get crazier from this point on. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Heh, yeah. Every good writer wants it, and you're making it very, very good. Hm, I do recall something about your editor's favorite heroine but I feel lazy to actually search for that...

Oh yeah, such characters have their charm. That's for sure.

You're just sparking my interest. I do want to see what kind of crazy fun it would be. Also, Kouma's gonna take part in it?

You're welcome. After reading your last chapter I actually wrote a prologue for something bizzare which is forming in my head, after all. This party's getting crazy, huh. --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 11:49, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Fun as in Animorphs meets JoJo's Bizarre Adventure meets Hunter X Hunter: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hgIP7G8zno&feature=youtu.be&t=2m37s this party is never over]. When you ask me about Kouma like that it's really hard not to leak the other two chapters so you can know for sure whether she'll be relevant or not... or rather, in which way. Jesus, it's like now that I can't answer because the truth is right around the corner you guys decided to ask all the right questions at once. I'd love to check your writing, so do show me when you have something you're even half happy with! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

...Interesting. One never-ending night, huh? 
I see. I'll be waiting then. No need to spoil all the fun. 
Thanks for kind words. Will love to see what role has Kouma in coming events. --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 03:01, 24 March 2012 (CDT)
* Hyakki Yagyou, yes. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Just something I noticed - this isn't on the Android app. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that it's in the OLN section? I figure this ought to be in the app - it's kinda hard to read on the main site while on the go, since most phone screens are so small. Maybe get the coder for the app to take a look? [[User:WingsofSnow|WingsofSnow]] 10:43, 23 March 2012 (CDT)

* Reported it on the App's Official thread. If the novel wasn't so full of italics and underlines that are plot relevant, I would compile a J2ME version of the chapters so far released myself for you. Since that won't do, would any other sort of file extension (MS Word or something) help in your case? - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

== About the Editing ==

As I was reading, I noticed that there was some fixing to do. They were just misspelled words, missing words and also some errors grammar wise. I could've fixed them right then but I was too interested or intrigued reading the book that I could not stop. I'd like to fix them but regarding the editing post, would you still like me to post as to why an error was made? They're spread around Volume 1 and Volume 2, so I'd rather focus on fixing all of them than posting about each one. --[[User:Stratos|Stratos]] ([[User talk:Stratos|talk]]) 16:22, 12 January 2013 (CST)
* No, it's alright: if you feel like it would prevent you from focusing on the editing, it's fine even if you don't leave the notes. Thank you for your interest and I'm glad you enjoyed the books because number 3 is driving me insane here. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 4: Ayaka

2012-12-01T00:34:55Z

Ryuno: formatting again

== Part 1 ==

You know, I actually believe there is such a thing as Justice in the Universe.

Despite knowing that there are many evil deeds that might go unpunished and good actions that will never directly give any fruits to their performers, I choose to believe that the Universe is formed by equations that will always get to balance themselves. It doesn’t matter how it affect the elements involved in the system, as long as the answer fits the question and vice versa.

There must be equality.

If that was not true I would have no reason to be running to school today, being the textbook example of ‘late’. And yes, that does contrast with me running away from school yesterday, so early in the morning I didn’t even meet my teacher on the hallways while fleeing.

That’s ''karma'' for you.

It would seem like everything was too perfectly balanced for reality, but I refuse to give it more thought because I still have the whole ‘my real world is actually fictional’ theory on my mind. To be honest I probably deserved it. I got trapped in a gruesome nightmare; I ran for a long time; I fought like I haven’t fought in years (mind you, my childhood was really tough with all of those mysteries going on). How could I expect anything other than falling asleep on the couch and waking up so late for school I don’t even know why I bothered getting up?

So yeah, I believe in Justice. Especially today, because being mad at something you don’t believe in is a job for people who don’t quite grasp the meaning of the word ‘atheism’ yet still use it on a daily basis.

''That was mean.'' 
''I liked it.''

…and here we go again. I’m glad you did, but I would rather not listen to your unusual kind words or anything coming from you for that matter.

''Another rude thought coming from an essentially good boy whose body’s endorphin releases does not seem to be successful at achieving the runner’s high effect.'' 
''It’s very interesting to see just how out-of-character can you get when she is not around, or should I say ‘in character at last’?.''

What are you babbling about? I am acting as I always do. No, I am not even acting: I am ''thinking'' and you cannot cause harm to others with your thought alone, only with your actions.

''Nevertheless you just tried to and proved yourself wrong in your own terms, considering your belief that I am not a part of you.'' 
''Of course I could demand an apology as a habitant of your mind, but I think I’ll settle down if you admit that no one is as nice as you pretend to be when you’re next to her.''

My mind belongs only to myself and I won’t apologize or justify myself to anyone for anything that stays inside its limits; peculiarly to you, who is but an unwanted guest, a despicable intruder in my inner kingdom. Begone ye evil spirit!

''You're getting hotter, getting hotter…'' 
''By the way, I mean it as in the hot-cold game; I am not attracted to you.''

Oh, please! That thought would never cross my mind and…

''Or am I?'' 
''It doesn't really matter; either way, I am just the voice inside your head.''

Just go away, will you?

''Sure, i-it’s not like I enjoy being near you o-or anything.''

…

The absence of italic-underlined talk that followed was unsettling for some reason, but since it brought back my narrative it probably is a good thing. There are indeed a few unsettling and good things in life but most of them cannot even be thought of so early in the morning, especially on a presumably fictional universe under the risk of receiving a different rating and (for the lack of a better word) exciting some impressionable readers while greatly upsetting their beloved mothers.

Back to the work-safe ‘running to school’ we go.

Other than the sound of my feet stomping on the streets and the steady, fast heartbeats pulsing through me, there was absolutely nothing. At daybreak, the lingering silence on the town was as audible as the frail sounds my body produced, and it seemed to swallow them like quicksand. But as swiftly as the mythical god who shared the name with the chemical element once known as quicksilver…

…no, seriously: That’s it? You’re going away because I asked you to, easy as that? Aren’t you going to make any nasty comments about my overly dramatic manners, remind me of how particularly creepy the trees are this morning, or anything like that at all?

''I don’t need to. You just did.''

And then the uncommon voice left me and my narrative alone in a silent, distressingly weird world that was now too full of green for my personal fear-driven taste. Needless to say, in light of the circumstance, I ran just as Mercury would if he were a paranoid teenager with a disturbing and flirtatious inner voice while surrounded by mysteries and suspicious trees.

== Part 2 ==

Follows attached a small yet interesting report on the results of running too fast and for too long to school.

'''Good news''': I might have broken a world record of speed (we would have the exact number if I had waited for the patrol car to catch up)! 
'''Bad news''': I might have broken something else too.

'''Good news''': My fear of trees made me lose weight; I even feel lighter! 
'''Bad news''': According to the last doctor I’ve seen I should actually gain some weight in order to reach the ideal weight for someone of my height and age. However, I am also not sure if I should trust him, since Dr. Olaf turned out to be a vampire in disguise: he could be just trying to fatten up his next meal.

'''Good news''': I actually made it to the gates two minutes before they are usually closed, which means I either distorted space and time while running or… no, I think that’s the only explanation I have right now. Space-time distortion, that’s pretty much it. Sounds reasonable enough for my brain, which is currently just as tired as the rest of my body. 
'''Bad news''': I don’t think I want to enter those gates; especially because once I do there will be no turning back.

Right, I know I did that whole box burning number yesterday, but that just something I did (pardon my non-French ambiguous expression) in the heat of the moment: just like Kouma said, it was meaningless. It’s easy to act manly when you don’t actually need to and right now I don’t know if it was the exhausting race against the clock or something else, but it sure feels like I spent all of my Special Power on that and now even pressing up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-start won’t help me.

That’s it: it’s not even eleven o’ clock and I already had a rough day, or at least what a common high school student as I aspire to be should consider a rough day. I am just going home and…

…

Absolutely nothing happened.

No one came out of nowhere with an interesting teaser sentence. No one decided to spend time with me to get my head out of my personal problems with random stuff. No one stood up, looked straight into my eyes and made me take a decision when I found myself in a turning-point.

Nothing like that happened at all.

Even though I invoked the trope (suspension point included and everything), no one came for me. Even though I really wanted them to, no one showed up. Even though I felt like I really needed them, no one saved my day.

Lifting my briefcase and putting it behind me by passing it over my shoulder, feeling the leather touch my back through the sweaty shirt, I started walking steadily.

Thank you, everyone. I had to break that awful habit of mine on my own, without relying on walking canes.

“Hah!” Feeling very brave after passing the gates, I spun and almost danced with my arms open as if challenging the whole world. Somehow I managed to stop myself before the applied energy was strong enough to send my briefcase flying away, but not without reluctance: laws of Physics work whether you like them or not, and whether you know them or not. “It’s time for me to live the dre...”

As I finished my gracious yet completely manly spin, I noticed that I wasn’t the only one around. By the time it dawned on me I wasn’t sure if I should be glad or sad that the faces I saw were familiar.

“You’re right: it is very hard to sneak up on him.” 
“I know; if it wasn’t for that passionate anime character imitation of him at the café I think I would never be able to.” 
“Now I kind of want to see that, especially after you spending roughly thirty minutes of a phone call talking about it. Do you think he’s going to do it again? I guess I’ll finally have a reason for frequenting that dreadful place.” 
“Maybe next time we can record his despaired impersonation with a cell phone and put it on the Internet.” 
“Probably along with that spin, it was very amusing.” 
“Indeed.”

Facing that kind of situation, I should feel embarrassed and strange…

“Good morning, girls. What are you up to in this beautiful morning?” 

…but I just didn’t want to feel that way.

“Hm.” Kouma raised her eyebrow. “This wasn’t quite the outcome I expected. I have mixed feelings about this.” Did she just say that she has some sort of feelings out loud? 
“We arrived earlier today to make sure no blank cards or other suspicious objects were placed anywhere in our class.” Ryo didn’t seem tired, but actually sparkling: it was like the cases I was so tired of were exactly what she needed to feel alive, and it showed. “Also, after doing a little research we found out that nothing unusual has happened in the past days except for an unfortunate incident with bananas.” 
“Nothing supernatural, though.” I felt relief when Kouma finally stopped staring at me and decided to focus on Ryo. “People often forget how their peels can be dangerous if left on the floor.” 

The school chime rang, and then I realized that we have just wasted the two minutes I had to bend time and space to get.

“Let’s go, we’re going to be late! I don’t think Reikoku-sensei will let us…” 
“Oh, don’t worry: she will let us in.” Ryo had a good example of her cat-like smiles printed on her face and she was pointing it at me. “Kouma already told her we could get a little bit late because of a project and Reikoku-sensei said it was okay: we exceptionally have five minutes of tolerance today.” 
“A little project with Koukishin-kun.” Hissed the fashionista, her eyes gently rolling up towards the skies. Then she added without any sound, but with the sole movement of her lips and to me only. “Teacher’s pet.” 

Sighing sounded like the only reasonable thing to do in such a weird situation.

“Anyway, we should discuss this later: we can be observed by our unknown enemy while in school, and since there are great chances he or she is in our classroom we’ll probably be watched closely.” 
“So you did notice.” Kouma grinned like there was no tomorrow, and when looking at her I almost believed so. “Our school rules are not that strict, but the only ones who could go inside our classroom without being stopped by the inspectors were our own classmates.” 
“Actually, no: I saw the exact opposite happening that day. When I entered the building, it was completely empty and no one even showed up to try and stop me from running away like a crazy person. And I’m a transfer student, so no one here knows me. Honestly, I think the security here is very, very lame.” 
“That doesn’t sound right.” After seeing her argument discredited, Kouma Yon almost sounded offended. “We’ll have a lot to discuss on our meeting later at my place. For example, why would the staff…” 
“Hey…” Ryo interrupted, and surprisingly I wasn’t pleased with that: Kouma sounded like she had a strong hint on something that didn’t fit. “I don’t want to ruin your party but we have exactly one minute to enter the school building and get into our room.” A small pause was added by Ryo, most likely for comedy effect. We played along with it, despite knowing that we were wasting time we didn’t actually have. “That happens to be located in the third floor.” 

The image of Reikoku-sensei making a countdown filled my mind, and by the look on the girls’ faces I wasn’t the only one thinking about what would happen if she said ‘zero’ before we reached the room.

“Don’t worry!” I screamed as we ran towards school. “I can bend time and space!”

== Part 3 ==

Apparently, it doesn’t work every time I want it to.

Which is awful, now that I think about it: how awesome would it be if I could use that all the time, really? If I had the control over that gift, I would be able to prevent disasters, avoid problems and even fight crime. But better than all that, we wouldn’t have been late for Reikoku-sensei’s class for entire thirteen seconds.

What scared us the most was that not only she was waiting for us at the door but also didn’t say a single word until we got past her. In fact, there was not a single sound in the classroom at that moment and it seemed to me that my classmates were just dolls made of flesh because Ryo, Kouma and I were the only ones moving and it surely was not as if we had much of a choice. The rest of the class was standing dead still, but most likely because they knew that we, who against all odds received a five minute tolerance from the most feared teacher in the school and yet broke it as if in defiance, were the ones who were closest to death.

It was a mixture of pure respect with a strong desire not to join the about-to-be-killed party, and it disturbed me that they seemed quite used to it. Had anything like this ever happened before? What was the outcome of the previous group or individual’s actions? Who will bury our bodies?

It doesn’t really matter; I don’t think we’ll live to find an answer to any of those questions. Since it is my time to go, I shall leave with no regrets. It was a good life, anyway.

No, not really.

“Take your seats. Class is about to start.” Our homeroom teacher said in monotone and almost mechanically we obeyed: I think it is common sense that we pushed our luck as far as we could for a year or probably, a whole life. Does that mean we’re not going to die today? Well, I suppose at least not immediately. This is great, right? Right? I suppose so, since I haven’t even got a chance to lead a good life so far. So, in this situation even having an awful past is a good thing, right?

No, not really…

Full stop. I know where this is going and I don’t want to walk that road again. I need to think positive. Yeah, think positive: this kind of thought hasn’t taken you anywhere in the past and you decided to change this on your own today, right? Keep that in mind and you will be fine. That whole incident wasn’t dangerous at all, and there is no teacher that would kill students just for being late; you are only being over-dramatic as always.

“Aah, that was dangerous. You could really have died there.”

Theatrically I turned to face the person that uttered those words and tell her ‘you are not helping at all’, and then I noticed I there was someone else sitting by my side other than Kouma Yon. While my bipolar I-am-not-so-sure-if-I-can-call-her-a-friend quietly stood on my left side, the high pitched voice that warned me came from the opposite direction.

"Aah, hello! My name is Morimoto Ayaka! Nice to meet you!" 
"Oh, hello. I'm Koukishin Shinzou, but you can call me Shin-tsu." I stop myself for a while and think. This girl is not familiar to me, and I have a fairly decent memory for faces and voices. We obviously haven’t met at Monday, otherwise she wouldn’t be introducing herself today. Also, while Kouma was sitting I guess. Oh, right; focus. "Sorry to ask, but I don't remember you being here when I was introduced to class; why haven't we met before?" 

The girl giggled, clearly an easily amused person.

"Aah, that day. I had a cold and stayed home. I feel much better now, though!" She surely looked pretty much radiant to me. "Aah, I came to school yesterday and heard about you, but you weren't here. Did you catch a cold too?" 

"N-not really..."

Now, what kind of poor, infantile logic was that? Is she serious? Everyone I talk to in this city seems to be slightly weird, but so far they have been closest to the eccentric genius type than the happy-go-lucky with a stupid and clearly unfitting verbal tic. Even if I accept this world as a fictional work that kind of character won’t fit at all here; not that I am pleased with the way this world is, but inserting this kind of wannabe-moe character in such a weird story would be unacceptable. Well, unless…

…unless this is just a farce. That would definitely fit and advance the plot. That would also be something that voice would say, so I’d better stay away from thoughts like this. For now, at least.

Suddenly, a piece of paper appears on my desk.

''Déjà vú.''

Considering the events that happened so far in the story, I am not sure if I should touch it or not. You know, ‘once bitten, twice shy’ and stuff. However, it came from Kouma’s direction, it was considerably bigger than a business card and it had words written on it. Better than decently handwritten ''kanji'' (which means Ryo wasn’t the one who wrote them) with small characters above that, differently from the ''kanji'', I could actually memorize; the ''furigana'' allowed me to understand what the rather complex ideograms meant.

What I didn’t understand was why Kouma Yon was acting so considerate of me today. I mean, she actually was nice enough yesterday for me to start wondering what was going on with her, but since I made her leave when our teacher arrived (which doesn’t sound very friendly, no matter how I look at it) I assumed she would be slightly more… angered, perhaps? She did whispered something to me this morning that suggests that she got the wrong idea of last night’s events, but why be discrete when she could easily make Ryo suspicious of me by saying it out loud? Maybe that’s how she even things in her head. I’m not so sure right now, and I might never be: understanding that girl sounds like an extremely hard task to me.

For now, I’d better stop daydreaming and start reading her message.

I don’t really care about your relationship with Reikoku-sensei.

What kind of an opening line was that? Am I supposed to answer that? How? Not only that, why does that sound so absurdly tsundere to me? Was Reikoku-sensei right about Kouma’s personality, then? And why would someone bring an orange ink pen to school, for heaven’s sake? It’s not even practical!

Focus: confusion is exactly what she is expecting from me, because confusion often leads to errors. Right now this is a battle field and I must defend myself while showing my own fangs in order to avoid another attack. Against an ambiguous non-question as hers, a straight faux-answer seemed to be the only way to go.

Good, because there isn’t any. Not of the kind you are thinking there is, anyway.

Then I realized that Kouma Yon is ambidextrous, but I wish I had found that out in more normal circumstances. She barely looked at my reply and started writing back right away with her left hand, while easily copying text from the blackboard to her notebook with the right one (which is a very impressive skill that must require a lot of training and good coordination from the start). I guess it would be safe to assume that she already had her next line ready before I handed her the paper. Soon came the confirmation to that thought, and I was not pleased to find out that my intuition was proven right.

Oh, and what would that be?

Great: now she’ll just play stupid and expect me to keep speaking until she gets enough evidence to prove her points. Well, I’m not going to fall for that; that game is something that can be played by two individuals.

Don’t do that. Don’t pretend to be pure and naïve on the subject when you called me “teacher’s pet’ earlier today. You know exactly what I am talking about.

While I probably should not respond like that to someone playing the role of a super detective in her head, I assumed it would be the best way to deal with Kouma: to fight cynicism back with more cynicism.

She comes to your house at night and you need to hide the fact that there was other girl with you. Not only that, you knew it was her before you even looked through the looking glass, which implies that you knew she would visit you. Could it be that our teacher has gone to your house at same time since day one? And what kind of “extracurricular affairs” would a male student and a female teacher have that would need to be resolved during nighttime? 

So, Kouma does care about my relationship with Reikoku-sensei. To be honest I even detected a hint of jealousy in her words. However, pointing that out right now would probably just make this discussion worse and not help me at all with my argument. Therefore, my only option is to distract her from the core of the subject as much as I can; Reikoku-sensei would get into serious trouble if rumors like those spread, and I don’t want anyone to be hurt just for caring about me. As a reply, let me see… Oh, I know: ''reductio ad absurdum'' seems to be a good way out.

Now you’re just being unreasonable. Seriously, do you really think someone like me would be able to successfully seduce our teacher? Not only that, but in a single day?

When I looked at Kouma Yon after delivering the piece of paper, it initially seemed to me that my argument had found a reluctant target. After a few moments of observation, however, her deep sigh gave me an idea of what would come in the next message; apparently I had won, although not without some sort of resistance.

You obviously could have talked to her before, just like you did to Ryo-chan before coming here. However, even if you had the chance to talk to our teacher before, it does sound impossible for someone like you to even attract the attention of someone like Reikoku-sensei.

That one actually offended my pride, but I’d better deal with it; a victory that requires some sacrifice is probably better than losing. It comes along with the job, I suppose.

Trying to look completely innocent (which technically, I am), I turned to face Kouma and saw her twirling her finger in the air. I’m not sure if I was distracted or something, but it certainly took me some time to understand what she meant by that gesture. As I turned the piece of paper around I saw what she meant by that hand sign: there was more.

What’s happening, then?

There were two paths I could follow, and choosing between them would directly affect my future, mostly because of the Butterfly effect. However, this time I think the typhoon will happen here in Japan. And yes, I know that’s not exactly how it works; I just needed an analogy, so go ahead and sue me.

I could either lie and keep lying until everyone found out or tell her a plausible yet toned down version of the truth and hope that she doesn’t investigate any further. Despite my reputation, I don’t consider myself a good liar; therefore, the solution to that problem is obvious.

It’s really hard to explain, but Reikoku-sensei is taking care of me, nothing more than that. Truth is, I don’t handle being alone in that big house very well. I’m really sorry I freaked out last night; I don’t know what I was doing. Now that I think about it, I had no reason to make you leave. Could you forgive me?

I saw the eyes of Kouma Yon moving quickly and reading the paper not once, but four times, like it was a business contract where she assumed the other party had planted some kind of trap clauses in microscopic writing font. I wonder if this is how obscure spiritual entities feel when offering deals to people in this century. Now that I think about it I could have asked how they felt; I’ve had many, many chances to do so. Instead, I would just run to save my life. Now I’ll have to hope to meet another one in order to find out. Wait, what?

She crushed the paper and threw it at her bag, without any apparent intention of proceed with the interrogatory. Then she looked at me, and her face was the same but somehow looked slightly different. It doesn’t make much sense even to me, and it makes me wonder if I’m the only one on Earth that can see the small hints of emotions in her face.

“…good.”

That was pretty much it.

After that, we went back to that particular state where she practically doesn’t talk to me and is not as uncomfortable as the state where she locks arms with me for no apparent reason. I guess that means things are alright between us then, at least enough for Ryo not to suspect anything during lunch.

No memorable events happened from that moment until the end of classes, except maybe for the occasional petty talk with Ayaka, who unlike the other people I know in this town, is not a disguised teenage expert at anything or a grown woman who is probably unreasonably feared by the ones who should feel at ease around her in order to learn as much as they can in an environment they find safe. And yes, since even my dear friend Shiina Ryo showed an exquisite side of her I wasn’t aware of when I needed help, I cannot count her as a ‘normal’ person anymore.

Morimoto Ayaka was just your normal, regular, common, usual, habitual, familiar, ordinary, plain, standard air head girl character that would have no particular characteristic worth describing if it wasn’t for her cartoon-like verbal tic (which she forgets occasionally, and makes me think if she didn’t unconsciously developed that in order to blend in). It was nice to talk to someone that could actually speak like someone of my age is supposed to, even if her topics are a little bit dull when compared to the information dumps I get from everyone.

No wonder I was suspicious of her in the beginning: I never get to meet normal people.

The students quickly left the room after the school bell rang announcing the end of classes for that particular day, leaving only Kouma Yon, Shiina Ryo and the transfer student that prefers to be called by a nickname that he doesn’t even remembers how, when or why he got it behind. Said student would have happily followed the hordes to the mystic gates that led the world outside if it weren’t for his unusual friends who apparently couldn’t discuss how the plot of the game they were currently working on should go and walk at the same time. The student was extremely disappointed at their lack of ability at multi-tasking, but also knew that with those two the best thing to do was waiting.

“Koukishin-kun?”

“Yes, Reikoku-sensei?”

“I will speak to you now.” It was not a question or a request, like people usually do when they want to have a conversation with each other. My teacher, just as my friends, seems to have absolutely no common sense. She briefly looked to Ryo and Kouma, who stood by my side. “In private.”

As the girls hurried out like they saw something awfully life threatening (and they probably did, if you think about how the other students react to our teacher), Reikoku-sensei proceeded.

“Please refrain from getting up late and having the girls concealing the evidence of your laziness in the future. Consider this as a warning, because it’s your first offense: it won’t work, and you’ll just make everyone worry about you.”

Maybe it was because I already expected most of that or because I sort of have a selective attention deficit, but it is fact that the only element that interested me was the one that was completely new on that kind of speech.

“Were you worried, sensei?”

“I don’t know where you picked that idea from; I never said such thing.”

And yet she didn’t deny it.

“…thank you, sensei.”

“You’re welcome.” She said while sorting papers. “Now I would be pleased if you go and stay out of trouble, although I am fully aware that you will ignore the latter part.”

“How much do you know, sensei?”

“Nearly nothing, but enough to see that having two girls walking around asking questions to practically everyone in the school staff is an easy way of getting attention. I won’t ask you to tell me what are you up to, but your group should be slightly more careful. Considering that the three of you are working on something that requires secrecy, that is.”

“Understood.” I bowed, which seemed slightly unnecessary a second after I did it. “We’ll be more careful from now on.”

“Excellent. You may go now. Just be sure to let your friends know that I do not like it when my students stay outside the room trying to listen to the conversations I specifically classified as ‘private’, will you?”

The incredibly fast sound of footsteps rhythmically stomping the floor that followed came from the hallway and seemed to fill the whole school.

“Seriously, how did you know that?“

“Oh.” Reikoku-sensei bit her pencil softly and grinned. “I didn’t.”

== Part 4 ==

“We need a name.”

Kouma and I were still eating when Ryo said that, completely out of nowhere; this is how our investigation actually began.

Now using the house of the Kouma family as their temporary base, the unnamed, clearly improvised detective team gathered to start working on the unusual case that had directly affected one of their members. Against my personal expectations, Kouma Yon’s bedroom is absurdly normal; probably as normal as it gets, I’m afraid. There is not even a single thing here worth describing with a shower of adjectives or comparisons to nature forces. This is really plain and disappointing in so many levels.

“A name, you say?” Said the unusual girl whose room didn’t reflect her personality in any way.

“Yes, a name.”

Now that’s weird.

“I’m sorry; I am a little bit confused.” My right hand rose to gather their attention. “I aware that you are a novelist and probably knows more about plots than I do, but much to my dismay my vast experience in the Mystery field taught me that in this particular kind of cases the name of the offender is usually the last thing you are going to get.” Pondering on that last sentence, I stopped my speech for a while. “Unless, of course, you consider the possibility of having the criminal try running away after the revelation moment, thus making the last scene an action-fueled chase. It is also possible the accused party will try to kill or restrain the detectives in order to keep their dreadful secrets safe, but I suppose this kind of development is not that popular anymore thanks to the boom of crime investigation series. Hopefully we are not dealing with an old-school villain; otherwise one of us will get kidnapped very, very soon.”

As soon as I finished talking I noticed the way Ryo was looking at me, and it didn’t took me a great deal of time to understand that the odds of the face she was making being exactly the same I did when she started talking about music were incredibly high. Oh, dear; I just remembered that. She was so absolutely perfect at that moment…

Silently we kept on glaring at each other’s faces for a while, burning deep down with unresolved tension in such a powerful way I could not even think of a reason holding our foreseeable incandescent eruption back.

“No, not on my watch.”

And there it was.

Literally between us was a person who remained a strange element in our relation and had a thing for making me remember how fierce her pinch could be. Her moderately long yet unreasonably sharp baby blue fingernails served as a call of the real world to me and often reminded me that we weren’t gathered for a party; we had a supernatural case to solve and technically no clues to do so.

Certainly it’s not time for us to relax and I probably will remember this in the future even when Kouma Yon finally go back home, but not for the right reasons. My arms will have become giant, deep purple bruises by then. What a fabulous memento.

It could be worse, right? I mean, it’s not like her fingernails are tainted with my blood or anything. Unfortunately, there is a great chance she is avoiding that only because she just got her nails done. I cannot blame her for that, since baby blue a fairly decent color and it sure matches the rest of her deceivingly cute look. I just wish she would be more considerate of others (particularly when ‘me’ is an element of the potentially finite group ‘others’), that’s all. It’s not like I am asking a lot, really…

By the time I came back to reality, I noticed Kouma’s concerned look. Maybe it’s because I had stood still for several minutes but most likely because the ‘call of the real world’ attack of her pretty claws of absolute doom not only didn’t help, but produced the perfect opposite of the effect she was expecting.

“Hmm...” I looked to Ryo. “I just had another one of those moments, didn’t I?”

Her face had already given me the answer I anticipated, but she insisted on stating it.

“Yes, you did. It was really awkward, but at least now I know you weren’t ignoring me when it happened Sunday. You probably have the same problem with daydreams as that main character from that particularly famous medical television series.”

“You mean that particular show that decided to change a little bit of its formula after a faux-finale at season eight?” Kouma said, suddenly interested. I wasn’t that surprised, considering it’s only natural for a young girl to like pop culture. Not that there is anything truly ‘natural’ on Kouma Yon.

“Specifically that one. I really like it.”

“Me too. Back to the topic, I believe Shin-tsu does that kind of thing just because he enjoys being rude to people.”

Ryo shook her head and started twirling her long silky hair.

“Hmm, I find that argument very unlikely to be true. Shin-tsu has always been polite to me, and he does call you by your family name as a sign of respect. Obviously, he could use a few lessons on daily usage of Japanese language, since the quality of his speech alternates between extremely basic textbook-like sentences and complex television references that might sound obscure to the average person. Except for his utterly disturbing, almost complete lack of honorifics, it’s not that bad, anyway.” Listening to her talking like that made me think that it’s really such a big deal. “It might be just a trait of his personality or a result of living abroad for so long, but I guess he will get better with practice.” She finally took a break after another lecture and then added in a much lower, nearly whispery voice. “Hopefully.”

“What would be your hypothesis, then?”

Ryo had a serious look on her face, and for a moment I thought she was going to tell me that I suffer from an incurable disease or that she was my father. I’m terribly sorry about that particular reference, but I couldn’t help it because it was a lame joke but full of Force.

“He is a hero character in denial; he has everything he needs to be a strong protagonist that could solve the mystery and defeat the bad guys after an epic battle, but never used his powers for greater good and probably not even for his own good, and that’s why the plot never advances as it should and you can hardly see any character or relationship developments; he is completely stuck at the second act of the story, forever.”

I assume this is the moment where I’m supposed to explain to the reader what they are talking about, considering the following facts: a) my assumptions were right and this is a story; b) there is a reader who is interested and c) he or she is not a writer or a literary critic, therefore probably could not understand that. Obviously this still sound very unreasonable to me, but on the lights of the events of my life one can see that nothing good would come out of getting upset about such things. So, let’s play along for a change.

Many stories use the Three-act Structure, at least enough for your subconscious to have learned it and make you ‘expect’ things from movies you never saw before despite they being brand new. Most Hollywood movies are like that, and you cannot blame them: the only reason why a trope became a trope in the first place is because it worked fine.

The first act is where the main characters and the setting are established, and it is called ‘the Setup’. At some point in it, something bad happens and takes the protagonists out of their comfort zone and make the story actually start (without conflict, there is no plot). One can say that in my case I have lived in this particular stage for a surprisingly long time, and this leads us to the second act, ‘the Confrontation’: here the protagonists try to fix everything and end up making it worse because they are doing it completely wrong. So far, check.

If only I could find out what I need to change in my attitude to reach the next act.

“That’s an interesting point of view.” Kouma took a pause, and seemed to be seriously pondering about that. “So, all the bad things that supposedly happened to him would be just mere unused plot devices?”

“Exactly. But the situation has changed now he has two sidekicks, so there is a great chance the plot is advancing as we speak.”

“Hold on, I am definitely not okay with that.” Raising her left hand, Kouma stated. “The idea of being a sidekick does not please me at all, so I would like to offer an alternate interpretation to this matter.”

I could feel the levels of tension rising between the two of them, which was probably due to Kouma Yon disagreeing with Shiina Ryo. It’s safe to assume that this kind of thing does not happen often, and for a good reason; they both seem to have taken it personally.

“Please proceed.” Said my closest friend after clenching her teeth, her eyebrow clearly wanting to reach the skies.
“From my point of view, we are equal main characters representing the three parts of Freud's model of the psyche. It has been done many times before, and it still sells because it makes a balanced team that people can relate to.”

Several moments of silence followed, and just when I was fully prepared to start a discussion over her Freudian approach to nearly every single thing Ryo spoke, leaving me open-mouthed.

“You know what, that actually fits.” The tension vanished as quickly as it came. “So, you think we’re representations of ''ego'', ''id'' and ''superego''?”

“Precisely, except one of us is not playing his role properly.” She glared at me with sheer accusation in her eyes. “That’s right Shin-tsu, I’m talking about you.”

“Wait, what?” The fact that someone finally decided to start talking to me took me by surprise, I admit it. Does that mean it’s my turn to become one of actors with lines instead of being just an observer whose life is being analyzed and criticized on stage?

“As one could deduce from my statements, two thirds of this team are playing their roles properly. Being a natural stoic, absolutely rational and highly competent, I should be classified as this group’s ''superego''.” She said it like was something to be completely proud of, intentionally forgetting to notice the ‘socially inept’, ‘apparently emotionless’ and ‘cynical’; the attribute ‘super’ certainly fits her ''ego''. “Then we have Ryo-chan, who is emotionally mature, balanced and compassionate; a clear example of ego.” Since I didn’t see a problem with that second statement, I decided to save my rants to the end of her theory presentation.

“I see where you’re going.” Ryo smiled, but not with the lovely innocence I so quickly got used to. “You’re implying Shin-tsu needs to act a little bit more like an id guy instead of having that ego attitude?”

“Exactly.” Kouma seemed completely satisfied.

“Sounds very reasonable.”

“I am glad we agree on that.”

Do I need to point out that I wasn’t pleased with that?

“Excuse me, but what are you talking about?”

“Look, it’s not that we don’t like you the way you are…”

Kouma Yon abruptly interrupted Ryo’s speech, and the reason behind her actions was so obvious it was almost suspicious.

“On that matter, speak for yourself.”

“Alright; it’s not that ''I'' don’t like you the way you are, but I honestly believe that in order to tip the balance you’ll have to be, well… slightly more impulsive.”

“Hedonistic.”

“Whimsical.”

“Overtly lecherous.” That was the exact point when both Shiina Ryo and I turned to face a clearly embarrassed fashionista whose face desperately tried not to admit it in front of others. It’s safe to say my team had reached a moment that could be only described as ‘awkward’. Several seconds later, the absence of sound still lingered. “Just for the record, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that; it’s a valid characteristic of the 'id''.”

Even after she tried fixing it, the nearly solid silence created by Kouma Yon’s reckless words would not go away. I just had to do something about it.

“…could we just move on?” I suggested. “We still have a mystery to solve, after all.”

Suddenly I felt my shoulder being patted, and a mere turning of head confirmed that Ryo was the source of that friendly gesture. Yeah, like there was a chance Kouma would demonstrate any kind of affection towards me in front of Ryo. Wait a second… she locked arms with me in public yesterday, so I’m not sure of what she is capable of. There is no need to worry, anyway; she was probably just feeling cold. Hopefully.

“Oh, relax. We still have plenty of time, and it might be a good idea to make the mood a little lighter.” My friend gave me one of her signature smiles and it was convincing enough for me to want to feed her milk in a bowl. “I too was a little worried in the beginning, but there’s nothing good that would come out of rushing or despairing over such things. Your mind will probably work better after you spend some time not worrying about your problems, so I want you to treat this stress release moment as a measure to get yourself ready to fully understand the case.”

“I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but it’s clearly not working.” This whole pointless analysis was actually making me more nervous about my current situation. “Your intentions might be good and I am thankful for that but this is not a common state of affairs with normal people, this is a…”

And then I realized.

I have been thrown into this kind of situation so many times, so it’s very hard for me not to search for patterns instead of proper clues. Surely it feels like I have a built-in mechanism for the unusual, and that’s why I wasn’t immediately able to see through this; it’s something completely different from the things I have fought or rather ran from before. The only thing I didn’t have the chance of dealing with.

If you manage to ignore the increasing supernatural elements and the fact every single person that crosses my path always seems to be on the verge of insanity (or much past it, in several cases), and if only you ignore the continuous flow of the plot you will see too.

They are all completely normal, in the end.

After all they are just teenagers, all of them; just essentially common youngsters living in a world made of youth with their sad teen issues, being and acting just as weird as their age allows them to because deep down they know that soon will come a time where they won’t have the chance to do so. There is absolutely nothing complex in it, despite their masks and monologues to an audience visible only to themselves.

Therefore, this case can be solved quite easily. It might leave an awfully bad aftertaste in my mouth, especially because when compared to other detective stories and even my own previous ‘cases’ it will certainly look like cheating to anyone including myself. Like one of those cheap ''novellas'' where the bad guy only appears in the last two pages, not being directly related to anyone on the plot and dying soon afterwards. Like a classically trained musician who decides to play on a pop-punk band for a living.

Through this stress induced catharsis I may have found a game breaker.

Instead of wasting several days pursuing small or useless clues that would just act as lies-to-children forcing us to seek for a bigger Truth, I am going to skip the boring parts and go straight to the clever tactical maneuver moment just because I can.

The reason for doing such a trick, you ask? It’s very, very simple: my opponent also is not following the rules. Obviously, in a mystery/crime and punishment story you should expect that at least one person is not following the law; if they were, there is a great chance you wouldn’t have a case from the very beginning. Despite that, my unknown foe broke rules so basic that, in order to be on the same level and achieve victory I must ‘cheat’.

The hidden enemy broke a Father Knox's Commandment, and that action is completely unacceptable to me.

When you see yourself involved in so many cases as I have, you realize that the only way to survive for the next school transfer is to trace patterns and know your tropes. I mean, how are you, a common teenager, supposed to hide from a six meter high one-eyed wild creature if you don’t know what and when it appears/attacks, or what can you to do make an ancient yet incredibly in shape mummy dizzy enough for you to escape safely from a pyramid full of traps that at the very least will hold you back for a moment or two? You ought to have information, especially when your life depends on it.

Books were my first choice of information source. Despite not being a technology hater such as my grandfather (who doesn’t even trusts telephones), there is something about the scent and the feel of paper books that make me calm and relaxed. Believe me, there are not many things that can get me into that state of mind.

Unlike Ryo, who will indiscriminately read any novel of any genre she comes across and then spend a great deal of time writing not unusually sharp reviews and articles about it on the Internet, the only genres of book that interested me (and not for reasons I should be pleased with) were Mystery and Horror. Forensic science articles (which I suppose both Kouma and Reikoku-sensei read in the same fashion as other people would read Sunday newspaper’s comics) were never something I paid too attention to, especially because I have always assumed that the day I actually needed to directly be in a morgue for a causa mortis’ analysis it would me my own, and then I wouldn’t have much work to do other than stay there while other people with pointy things opened my body and found an alien baby in my chest.

Or something like that, I am not so sure right now.

Back to the topic, classic mystery novels were the best. Of course, they were usually filled with cheesy and unrealistic dialogue and the solutions got either predictable or impossible after a while, but their cases murders and other crimes were decent escapes of the everyday life of, say, murders and other crimes. They provided me methods of solving cases and occasionally an accurate insight of the criminal’s modus operandi. While reading them, I realized that the mysteries in this world are ruled by tropes.

Father Knox's Ten Commandments for the Detection Club were a good set of them, and they show exactly what a good case should avoid in order to actually be a good case. Without abiding by those rules, the stories often end up looking like a mess and making the reader feel like the author was too lazy to provide a decent ending and cheated. Readers don’t like unrealistic novels, even when the genre is Fantasy; if the author fails to suspend disbelief, the story suffers.

Why do those Commandments work in several of the mysteries I came across so far? Simple; they are rules especially designed for making a story believable and the closest to real as it can be. Thus it is obvious that if properly created they would also work in real life; otherwise the set of laws would be pointless because they would fail their only purpose in existence.

So far, the setting was good: a developing town attracts a lot of attention to itself, and high school crime stories are selling well these days. The rules were being respected or subverted decently: the detective did not commit the crime (which would be the most awkward situation ever, unless I had another personality I was not aware of), my Watsons are far from stupid but they certainly do not conceal their thoughts, no poison involved, I’m pretty sure the criminal has been mentioned in the story, no secret passages anywhere to be seen (although that’s probably the point), no visible twins either, I have shared all the clues I have so far and if anyone classifies as the foreigner in this story, that guy would be me. The only accident that happened in this story didn’t help me; instead it brought me the whole mystery and this doesn’t sound like ‘helping’ at all.

Only one Commandment left.

The law my opponent broke was the most important to me, the one I always hoped for to be respected in the case: there should be no supernatural or preternatural powers involved. It’s exactly what makes the cases believable and honest. Therefore, I now have the right to stop being a nice guy and break the formula.

“Oh.” Kouma’s face was very close to mine, and she was holding a lit small lantern in front of my eyes. After she realized I was awake she turned it off and kept looking directly at me while talking to Ryo, who was not in my range of view. “It seems like he is back.”

Footsteps rolled.

“Gosh, you scared us!” I saw my friend running to me from the kitchen, her cell phone in hand. “You haven’t said a single word in seven minutes and just stood there, completely motionless. I was calling the hospital already!” She was obviously worried and for some reason it made me smile, probably because it’s nice to know that I have people who really care about me. “By the way, your telephone signal here is really awful.” She added slightly more calm, with the clear lack of common sense people have in those kinds of situations showing.

“Suspend the ambulance, I’m alright. Instead of that, please bring me a ''kanji'' dictionary.” I stand up, mostly to prove them what I said. “I was just thinking, and I believe I have the answer to the question we were going to spend days working on.”

Kouma merely nodded.

“You take the expression ‘lost in thought’ a little bit too serious, Shin-tsu.”

“Why, have you got an idea?” Ryo said, ignoring Kouma’s unneeded remark.

“An idea, you say? I think I just solved the case.” Savoring the glorious moment of my epiphany I looked mischievously to them. Now I know why detectives speak like this: it feels really great and I suggest everyone to try it once in a while. After waiting the proper time to give the final blow, I deliver the mysterious sentence that would close the current part of the show with a fade-out. “All we have to do is to organize a thematic party.”

== Part 5 ==

We were just two distorted shadow-like figures walking on the sunset until we actually reached our destination.

“Come.” I said without showing a trace of shame while opening the heavy metal doors, desperately trying to keep my facade. “Everyone is waiting for us.”

"Aah, why are the lights off, Shin-tsu?" She whispered. "You didn't say this was supposed to be a surprise party."

Ayaka was not yet aware that there was going to be no party and I was actually leading her to a trap, which was much more dangerous to me than to her; I might be mistaken about her and including an innocent person in this creepy setting, which might involve greater problems with the police and other less forgiving factions in a near future. However, I have already gone too far to simply walk back now. I have to do this or I won’t be able to live like a normal person.

So forgive me, Ayaka.

“What exactly do you have in mind, Shin-tsu?” Ayaka continued with syncopated pauses, and unfortunately I was able to detect more than a mere hint of flirtation in her words. Although I was flattered that she thought I had planned this only to be all alone with her in a dark place, it didn’t please me to know that her attitude in this situation doesn’t match the patterns I traced at all.

"Lights."

Some lights were turned on, illuminating only the center of the warehouse. The spotlights were rather strong and intimidating, just the kind of lights the police should use in interrogatories. Ayaka finally would be able to see the chairs and tables that were hidden in darkness just a few moments ago. If she is smart as I truly believe she is, she probably already realized why the chairs are aligned like that and why we're here. Which finally brings us to the third act, known as ‘the Resolution’.

I guess it is show time.

"It was you, wasn't it Ayaka-chan?"

Ayaka looked genuinely surprised at the unspecific accusation, but it didn’t mean she was not the culprit; just that she wasn’t expecting a confrontation at that very moment. No mistakes on her part so far, and she actually gained a few points with that flirting that was certainly unlike the character I had in mind when I ‘solved’ the mystery…

…however, with the lights on it’s easier to see things that would otherwise be ignored such as the no longer concealed yet still closed pantographic knife she held in her right hand. That whole flirtation thing was most likely a bluff of hers, and despite the damage my self-esteem suffered it did feel good to know that the target I picked wasn’t a saint at all; even if she thought I intended to attack her, walking around with a German post-war knife is not something every Japanese highschooler does.

"W-what are you t-talking about?" I guess she realized that she was looking too scared for someone who didn't know what I was talking about and quickly recomposed herself. Too quickly, exactly as I expected; that fit perfectly in the pattern I had in mind and showed me that I was on the right direction. "First you brought me to this... this abandoned warehouse without an apparent reason. Now you start talking nonsense." Ayaka was starting to show her true colors, and then suddenly started wearing her good girl mask again. "Aah, I don't know what you intend to do, but you can count me out of it. I'm leaving. Bye bye."

Rapidly I snapped my fingers and the doors were closed and locked. Ayaka looked back when she heard the noise, and when she turned to me again her face was expressing much more than the fear of someone who is alone with a possible attacker. I was right, thankfully; without a trace of doubt, Morimoto Ayaka is guilty. And I know I'm not supposed to, but I certainly love this.

"You're not going anywhere until I finish talking." I start to walk through the rows of chairs, apparently aimlessly. "If this was our class you would sit right there, am I right? And that place behind you used to belong to your best friend Minato.” A calculated pause “Please forgive me, I’ve made a dreadful mistake: it’s ‘former best friend’, right? Not many people keep friends with the people dating the ones they love."

Her astonishment was much more than visible, being nearly as tangible as herself.

"H-how could you know that? You haven't even met Minato-chan!"

"My, my. We’re in a class full of girls, and girls talk.” I consider myself a feminist, but even I have to agree with that. “You really should not underestimate the power of gossip. Rumors, stories and ideas are just like sound; they will spread as long as there is air for them to travel. And girl, do they run fast as the winds." I take a small break to breathe. This light is too hot and it's going to make me sweat buckets, but I must keep my act together; if I don't keep it cool now, I might never find out what I truly want. "So, I heard you liked this guy from other school but couldn't bring yourself to confess to him. Now it’s time for some speculation of my own: you even went as far as stalking him for a while, always from a safe distance. Then your best friend started going out with the guy, and you found that out by seeing it yourself on one of your stalking moments. You've got mad and decided to start a vendetta against her. Am I right so far?"

She didn't even need to reply; the answer was stamped on her face and it made me feel awfully great.

"So, you wanted her to feel the angst and sadness you felt but you didn't exactly know how." I continued. "You have been raised as a good girl and never had done something like that before, so instead of trying to beat her up you opted for psychological terror; scaring the hell out of someone seemed much easier."

Morimoto Ayaka was probably unaware of the fact she was trembling with visible anger, as I could guess from her next speech; her body seemed to know she had been caught, but her mind did not.

“You speak like your assumptions are facts but I can see that, along with the fact that you have absolutely no way of proving what you just said, there is another big blind spot in your theory.”

Just the kind of line I was expecting.

“Which is exactly why I brought you here instead of looking for the enormous amount of evidence an amateur such as you must have left, taking for example your fingerprints on the card Minato was supposed to get.” A grin quickly formed on my face when I saw that she shivered when I mentioned the ‘fingerprints on the card’ bluff. Not only that, apparently only at that moment she realized that someone had touched the card instead of Minato and seen the hallucination trap Ayaka had prepared to her. It shows that I am indeed dealing with an amateur here, and I was hoping for that; if my opponent is still a first-timer, I have a bigger chance not only of being the battle’s winner, but also saving her from herself. “I want to know how you made that trick. At first I assumed it was some sort of ‘brown note’, but after giving it a little bit of thought I noticed two things: one, a blank paper card was too vague for delivering an effect of that magnitude and two, there was nothing else different in the environment. I have a nearly photographic memory: believe me, I would know.”

I really shouldn’t be enjoying this, but I simply cannot help it. This is actually making me feel alive, although I know I won’t be proud of what I’m doing when it is over nor want to do it again. I might even feel dirty for acting like this, but the future always seems to be a distant thing to those in the burning heat of the battle. Well, at least I know now that it’s not about some sort of messiah complex; right now all I want is to defeat my enemy. I might regret every action of mine later, but right now I am but a duelist and nothing else matters.

“Checkmate.” I finished. “You already lost the battle, Ayaka. I now have you at my mercy, but I don’t intend to harm you if you only do as much as explain which method you used to cause that strong hallucination. You can trust me. Just tell me what exactly Shugoshin is.”

The ''kanji'' dictionary showed me how to read it and the girls confirmed it: that was the meaning of the signals I saw inside the hallucination. Literally it means ‘guardian spirit’ and according to Kouma there is a protein with that name. I don’t honestly think there is any relation to the protein in this particular case and now I need to know what this is about: there might be others of this, whatever this is.

Ayaka’s body was shaking like an earthquake was happening inside of her, but that didn’t distract me from my focus: I heard the click that gently when she finally opened her pantographic knife.

Things were finally starting to get serious.

"So you have pretended to be my friend to get something you want, just like Minato-chan did before you.” She started panting furiously, and I considered the possibility of her anger resulting in a nervous breakdown. “I am indeed surrounded by liars; rats and vultures, all of you. You are all the same, playing your stupid games. Every single one of believe you are the good guys in your heads, and assume the rest of the world is composed only of allies and enemies. And you think that it justifies what you have done just because you really wanted to know what 'Shugoshin' means?" She had a wicked smiled on her face, and the terrifying look in her eyes stated the fact that she was beyond far madness at the moment she raised the ancient German knife whose reflection of the light met my gaze blinding me for a moment. "I! WILL! SHOW! YOU!"

And this was the point where things started not going as planned at all.

What happened next lasted only for about a second, but I managed to grasp all the details since my full vision had return as a torrent, a giant wave of information coming together all at once.

As if by magic, a slightly humanoid form started to materialize around Ayaka's body. It started as a transparent, ethereal creature made of surrealistic light. Eventually it became a grotesque reptile being who enveloped Ayaka's body inside its own gem-like translucid flesh, tainted redder than blood but still apparently insubstantial enough for me to see the shape of the mad girl inside it. And for some reason, I knew a thing or two about that. Maybe it was just simple logic or an instinct my mind developed because of the strange things surrounding me, but I knew deep inside Ayaka completely lost control of that thing and was now being absorbed by it, in the same way as I knew I had to keep breathing in order to survive.

The creature enveloping my classmate started moving in my direction, fast as a bullet.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting it to come down to this. In the end Mystery with a capital M had really found me once again. What should a common person do now? In such a situation, practically anyone would be too astonished to breathe and then let themselves be almost instantly killed by that translucent lizard from outer space or dimension. Fighting or immediately running might seem like the obvious answer to someone observing them from a safe place, but no one has the right to judge them for that kind of reaction; suspension of disbelief is not something that comes easy to people and they don't enjoy admitting that there is an awkward situation happening right in front of them, something they always believed that could only happen a movie or anything. They are not supposed to be ready to fight back against something they cannot accept as real.

I'm just glad I'm not like them, not at all.

From the very beginning, I have faced many, many situations as weird as this and occasionally some even weirder. What terrifies me is that I'm not even afraid of that kind of thing anymore, which classifies me as a real freak even to my broken standards. It kind of sucks when you realize you are indeed a complete mess in your own eyes but I don’t think I can change that, no matter how hard I try.

What I can do is change myself. I meant it when I decided to fight back Mystery if it came looking for me again, even if at that time I wasn't intending to do it, well, literally. I will stand my ground, once and for all. If that's what it takes for me to solve this case and to have a chance of leading a common life preferably by Ryo's side, I guess will do it. Not just because of her, but mostly because it's a small price to pay for the peace I have dreamed of for so long.

So, I am actually going to earn my right to live decently by beating that sinister and menacing creature that came out of nowhere up. Sounds like a decent plan to me.

Better than the last one, anyway.

"Kouma, run!" Reality struck me less a second before the creature delivered the first attack, when I finally realized that despite having gathered all the courage I needed I was still but a common human fighting a supernatural entity. Hopelessly I crossed my arms forming an ‘X’ to defend the amazingly strong blow of the creature's axe kick. "Take Ryo with you and run away, now!"

The kicks and punches seemed to come from everywhere, and I don’t think that was far from the truth. That creature was way too fast for me, and I didn't think I had a single chance to beat it up with my bare hands. I could only wait for an opening and then hope for the best (and surely it’s not usual to me to hope for the best). Until then I would have to serve as a sparring bag for this monster, trying my best to defend its strikes.

Although I don’t want to believe that, it might be the only thing I’ll be able to do.

At the moment it decided to give me an uppercut I saw a small opening and decided to go for it, but at the very same moment I coincidentally showed the monster an opening of my own; I almost tripped over a wrench on the floor and the creature decided to use that moment where my defenses were down to attack me with a direct hit.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attack it because it was my own lack of caution that created that opening after all. In fact, I realized that I wouldn’t even have any chances to do as much as defend my body from its next blow, and it seemed to be a decisive one. As that deformed fist quickly came towards my face, I had only time to clench my teeth and think a single sentence: this is going to hurt an awful lot.

"Like Hell I'm going to let you save the day on your own!"

The creature was completely distracted by Kouma's sudden approach and turns its attention to her. The opportunity I was looking for was right there and I didn't need to think twice; I grabbed the wrench and used it to hit the monster's chin by moving the tool upwards with full strength, falling afterwards due to my loss of balance. The attack was effective and I must thank the monster for that; after all, I just copied and adapted its uppercut. Quickly after my hit, Kouma sent the creature flying away with her signature butterfly kick.

"Are you okay?" Kouma said as she offered me a hand to help me stand up.

"I'm alright. Thank you for the help, but I really need you to protect Ryo right now."

"I’m pretty sure Ryo can watch over herself, and I'm not your sidekick! If anyone is going to play the 'knight in shining armor' role here, that's me!"

We ran towards our common enemy, who was starting to get up.

"Stop being so childish and leave!” We might all get killed if things keep like this. “This is not a competition, Kouma!"

"It is, but this round we're on the same side.” Her voice was raspy and at that moment I could actually see her as a living person instead of a doll with occasional bursts of emotions. “Right now, we need to sum our forces and finish that thing off. Are you ready to rock, partner?"

I could not stop myself from smiling.

"Partner, huh?" I stared at her for a moment while we ran, whispering the words with a smile on my face. I like how that sounds, I really do. "Let's do it!"

Together we rushed and attacked the creature in perfect synchrony, combined like I had never expected to be with anyone in my whole life. It would have been a beautiful moment if we weren’t teenagers fighting barehanded for our lives and now without the surprise element that literally saved me a few seconds ago.

The battle went on but despite the addition of an ally we soon noticed that we were losing territory and willpower every second.

We had the strength we needed to defend ourselves and attack occasionally depending only on our foe’s moments of distraction, but there was a big chance of us getting tired before that thing did. It was a supernatural entity after all, and that meant it probably take more than two young martial artists to bring that monster down. What we need right now is someone that can attack from a larger range than me or Kouma, even if it’s not too long; just enough for that person to attack uninterrupted from a safe distance while Kouma and I distract the creature without taking too much damage.

I suppose it would be too ambitious of me to hope for Ryo getting a crossbow right now along with perfect sight and the skills of a trained sniper. I know I am being picky but just the crossbow really wouldn’t be enough because with Ryo’s current sight at long distance we had as much chance of becoming the target as the creature did…

“Hah!” A female voice said, and shortly after a sound that could only come of strong impact was heard. 

Recognizing the sound of that voice I turned around to confirm my suspicions, and there she was; no, it wasn’t Shiina Ryo with a crossbow. That would be too weird, even for this particular story. I couldn’t be honestly expecting that, and so shouldn’t you. That would be completely unreasonable, like Reikoku-sensei coming out of nowhere with her telescopic pointer extended to a length that was at the very least ‘surprising’ and attacking the monstrous creature by using it like a whip. Very unlikely, I know. Especially because the mechanism that would allow it to morph both to a long lance-like stick and a folding whip just with a movement would probably take a ridiculously great time to be devised and it doesn’t sound very practical to anyone, except maybe for a teacher who is an oddity hunter in disguise. Not only that, the chances of such a character suddenly popping out to help us exactly when we need her are absurdly low: less than one in a million I’m afraid. That would be too unreasonable.

However, it was exactly what happened. How strangely convenient, indeed.

“What are you even doing here?” I asked when the creature fell. 
“An old fat man dressed in red told me you would be here and that you would need help. It wouldn’t be logical to just believe anyone as easy as that, but since he was standing in front of your house and things are often weird around you I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.” Did she just justify her appearance by quoting the first line of the story? That’s it, I’m calling my agent. “He asked me to tell you that the two of you are even now and...”

Then we three hit the floor.

At that moment we learned a valuable lesson that they certainly don’t teach kids in school these days, especially in fictional villain schools: don’t stop attacking to start a dialogue because you’re enemy probably won’t be polite enough to wait for you.

Showing that it was not just a stupid creature without the ability to evolve, the monster developed a brand new body part in order to mimic the whip Reikoku-sensei used: a prehensile tail made of its plasma that reminded me of a scorpion’s, except for the surprisingly well-devised claw-like sting. The fact that thing created this deadly weapon after just seeing how other worked for such a small amount of time makes me genuinely worried, but relieved that Reikoku-sensei didn’t brought a sub-machinegun or a nuclear bomb to this fight; we already have enough trouble as it is right now.

I raised my face off the cold floor only to meet something that can only be defined as ‘bloody dreadful’. No, that’s not right: there are probably several other fitting adjectives for what I saw, but I didn’t mind much since we were about to be obliterated and we who are about to die do not care much about sounding good. Also, spending last moments at thinking on adjectives never helped anyone to go out with a smile as far as I’m concerned.

Did I just say a scorpion-like tail was bad enough? Oh, never mind; it’s never enough. Said prehensile part was dividing itself into several members right before our eyes and becoming one of my greatest fears, and I am not talking about trees but the exact thing those ancient forms of life have that scares me the most: tentacles. That’s it; we’re officially as good as dead.

A shattering noise filled the warehouse.

Just when I thought we were going to be defeated, the hope came from above; one of the enormous spotlights suddenly fell on the monster's deformed head. Struck by both the surprise attack and the heavy piece while it suffered a transformation, the creature kissed the definitely solid ground in the most audible painful way I could ever imagine. Mrs. Gravity attacked again!

"I told you… not to ignore me." 

I looked up and saw Ryo hanging on the warehouse's roof metallic structure. She was controlling the lights from a cabin according to the plan, while Kouma was the one who would manually operate the door in the darkness. I guessed it had been really hard to get up there, especially for her; she was not the most athletic girl I knew, but her effort might have saved our lives by buying us time to counter-attack.

"Ryo!" I screamed, surprised by the relief just saying that name gave me. "You saved us!" 

Despite the darkness we were into I could somehow figure she was smiling at me.

"I might not be a fighting freak of the nature such as Kouma and you, but I'm not a damsel in distress too, you know!” All the echoes of her voice die quickly, yet her deep heavy breath lingers and slowly spread through the warehouse. “On the other hand, that girl inside the monster is!"

And Ryo was right.

We all could just run and leave the mutant lizard monster behind, but that would mean leaving Ayaka behind as well. She might have done some bad and potentially awful things, but I don't think she deserves being possessed by this thing as a punishment.

Right now we're the only ones who can save her. We are her only hope.

Relying only on my companions and my instincts to save someone I have met only a few days before, I put everything on the line. I looked around and see something that could be used as a strong weapon, but might be much more effective if strategically used as a tool. It might be our key to victory.

"Kouma, the chain!"

After throwing it towards her direction, I raised my left arm and wrapped firmly the chain around it. Kouma immediately understood my plan and did the very same. Once she was finished, we ran with all our might; not away from nor towards the monster, but around it. We encircled the creature several times with the metal chain. Once restrained, the Shugoshin went berserk and tried to get free by breaking the chain as expected from a beast, but since its arms and tentacles were tightly surrounded the monster could not use its full strength.

"Now, sensei!"

Reikoku-sensei took off her glasses, revealing the face of a true sadist. She extended the telescopic pointer that now glowed green in the dark to its maximum (and dear, was it long) and raised it like she was going to deliver punishment to a kid I certainly wouldn’t like to be.

"Have you been a naughty boy?"

Now, that was completely unnecessary and uncalled for. Why would anyone say such a thing, especially during a battle for survival and salvation of a not-so-innocent girl? I have no doubts right now, that line was just pure fan service and I apologize for that. Well, unless you liked it and decided to buy the book just because of that. In that case, I won’t apologize but I feel forced to warn you that you are a broken person who should really seek for help, preferably not from women dressed as school teachers.

Moving on.

"FIVE!"

Contrasting to my teacher’s unbelievably loud battle cry which I could not make sense of, the creature moved its mouth as if screaming from the excruciating pain, but there were no words or sounds. That I understood a little bit too well.

"FOUR!"

Then it finally dawned on me: it was the countdown she showed at class that everyone was completely terrified of. Reikoku-sensei proceeded with the torture that was almost too painful to watch.

"THREE!"

The creature fell and evanesced, leaving behind only the shivering body of the culprit that was my classmate. While she seemed to have a fever, it was good for me to see that she was still alive and reasonably safe. It was finally over.

Kouma seemed to be as tired as I was, but she still found the strength to raise her thumb to tell me we did a good job along with a faint creepy smile that was almost sweet in that particular occasion.

We did it. We solved the case, we saved the day and everyone survived. Despite what Ayaka-chan pointed about the ''modus operandi'' we adopted, that still makes us the heroes, right? We are still the good guys here, right?

Right?

"What a weakling.” Said my teacher while putting her glasses back on, without any trace of mercy or compassion just like one should expect from someone that did that sort of thing all the time but not from an educator who dealt with young minds every day for a living. “You can barely call that an exorcism."

It was the last straw for me. How could she act cold like that after seeing the lives of three of her students in danger? I just was about to start an inflamed argument that would bring a little bit of storm to our calm moment, but then everything decided to change and definitely not for the best.

It was only reasonable that, a sick girl with practically zero physical strength and stamina shouldn’t engage into activities that required much of said attributes she lacked. It was also reasonable that, after doing something that required both attributes in a desperately fast way, the girl would probably faint like she almost did many times before while doing things that clearly required much less of her abilities.

Why couldn’t we foresee that, then?

How could we not expect her to pass out and fall from such height? Why did we only notice that Shiina Ryo was pushing her limits when we saw her unconscious body diving like a missile to the ground, without a single chance to defend herself?

How is it possible?

Shiina Ryo was now falling, special thanks to Mrs. Gravity acting as a major female dog as she always did. There was no stopping that, and unlike Kouma or even myself, there was absolutely no chance of her showing crazy fight movies’ moves and saving herself from the fall. No mysterious magical creature would envelop her body like in Ayaka’s case. She would not discover any psychic or anti-gravitational powers that would stop her from dying.

She was a common person and she was just going to free fall and directly hit the warehouse’s floor full of tools, chains and sorted mechanical parts with her back and head, most likely dying or becoming paraplegic with the trauma.

My own words resonated in my head.

A victory that requires some sacrifice is probably better than losing. I know I am the one that came up with that earlier this week, but I don’t want to believe it: if I do, then Ryo is going to count as the sacrifice for our victory and it makes everything fair.

I don’t want it to be fair, not this way.

The price should be the time and power we spent on this situation, and only that. Despite all the effort that was put into this battle and the trouble we had to create a situation where we could happily spend our days together, my best friend will probably die in front of me. Just like that.

There are many things in life we cannot control. Whether we are born in a good family or not, whether we’re extremely talented or below average, or even if we are of the right species, race or mindset for the survival in a certain environment.

At which point does a parasol becomes an umbrella?

What we can control is our behaviour, thus making our families good by fixing the problems between members and bonding with each other in times of need, and work hard until a commoner surpass a genius in his own game, and tricking a robot into making you mortal to be accepted as human. It’s now about how good your tools are for that service, but how you use and improvise with them as you go. If life gives you lemons, you’d better find a way to make an electrical battery out of them and to use the energy for something useful. Which is exactly what I am going to do.

When you need it to.

I am going to bend Time and Space, right here and right now.

(this is the part where a powered-up variation of the opening theme should start playing)

Probably, I haven’t actually done it the first time. In fact, there is a big chance that was just an impression caused by me over-reacting again like I usually do. Bizarre oddities and mysteries aside I admit I am too much of a paranoid and prone to delusions, so that kind of thing could happen to me. And that doesn’t mean anything to me. Even if I was mistaken, even if that was a lie I will have to make it become truth in order to achieve Ryo in time to save her.

And you know what? There is a great chance I am going to fail miserably, but I am going to do it anyway because this is what heroes do. Against all odds, probabilities and even common sense I will attempt something way beyond my capabilities having only sheer will power on my side and honestly, I still expect to win.

Because I couldn’t care less about Science than I do right now.

Because I have faced so many unrealistic things in my past that it wouldn’t be completely unreasonable if I didn’t develop some sort of power at this exact moment.

Because I have already changed inside and now it’s time to make the whole world change around me.

Because.

"UORYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a good catchphrase in time: I was too worried about defying Physics and forgot to look unbelievably cool, which also seems to be an important part of being a hero. I should have said something that the fans would be able to repeat on conventions and post on the Internet, and that would be used (even if slightly altered) on every big battle or dramatic situation. People love that kind of stuff, right?
It could be worse, though; I may have failed to look completely awesome, but I did manage to distort reality with the sole purpose of saving Shiina Ryo. Nothing is perfect, anyway.

That’s right. I made it.

Now, what a mystery I am becoming to myself: I never thought I had this ‘alpha male must save the girl’ thing inside me but that’s probably a built-in feature of my model, like the passion for soccer that burns the souls of everyone in Brazil. Wait, I did meet a Brazilian guy who disliked it, but he was a novelist and they just aren’t like you and me and therefore don’t count as ‘people’ when it comes to statistics. Just sayin’.

Thump.

In case you didn’t notice, I was just trying to get my mind to ignore the impact I was going to suffer when my friend lands on top of me. Now that it already happened, I see that it sure wasn’t great but not as ugly as I thought it would be. Just like a syringe injection at the doctor, or politics.

Her body felt unbelievably light when I held her in my arms, a fact Ms. Gravity desperately wanted to disagree with by still throwing me against the ground. It felt like I was holding a baby, and I didn't know that about Ryo. Once again I am starting to realize that there are a lot of things about her that I don't know.

I heard footsteps coming to my direction.

“Koukishin-kun, are you okay?” My teacher seemed to be honestly concerned, and that made me realize that I might have misjudged her. She is not a bad person, just probably a lawful neutral kind of character. “Answer me!”

“He took the impact to stop her fall, he is obviously not okay. Look at all those tools he fell on.” Kouma started checking on me with that small lantern of hers again. I wonder if she carries it around all the time. Girl purses sure are amazing hammerspace devices, with the capability to carry an infinite number of things. I should get one of those, although it might get me the wrong kind of attention considering I’m not in France anymore. Oh well, you can’t have everything. “Have you even considered Physics before doing that stupid action of yours?” She said, now directly to me.

No, I didn’t consider Physics: I was too busy defying it and trying to come up with a good catchphrase, and thankfully I only failed at the less important action of those two. Wait, maybe that meaningless scream could become a catchphrase. It happens once in a while in fiction, so why not? The girls could be right; maybe deep down I am an ‘''id''’ hero in denial just waiting to bloom as a hot-blooded macho protagonist like those found in eighties’ manga.

“Shin… tsu?”

My dearest friend and first person to actually believe in me was the legitimate owner of that sweet voice. She turned to face me, her eyes getting teary. I must be in a worse condition than I thought, and I’m pretty good at imagining awful things. However, I am better at pretending every single thing is alright when they’re not.

“Hello, sleepyhead.” Even I realized my voice was barely audible. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

“But…”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t raining or snowing as one should expect and all we had as background other than the mixture of steel and concrete above our heads was the dying dusk that slowly faded to a newborn dark, reaching us from the now open metal doors.

“Don’t worry, I’m tougher than most.” I reflexively smiled, not to assure her of what I was saying but actually at my own awfully bad bluff. “I just don’t think I’ll be able to do what I promised we would.” Coughing was slightly painful to me that time, and from the look on her face it’s safe to assume it showed. “I guess we’re not going to run together under the rain any time… soon.”

Then it was my turn to lose consciousness.

== Part 6 ==

Everything was so calm and silent it was hard to believe a battle had occurred here.

Actually, no. Not really. That would be an understatement. I have been in a few battlefields before, and after the heat of the battle is gone they all seem like this. It feels like you were listening to the world's loudest and most chaotic crossover thrash metal band ever and then suddenly you go completely deaf (yes, 1997 was a good year indeed). It's weird and you cannot help but feel empty, and it doesn't matter if you were enjoying or even understanding the song at all; from the moment it stops, you'll find yourself wishing it to come back even if you hated it with all your heart and soul.

Because it made you feel alive. There was action, and it was so fast and incredibly random it would seem constant to untrained eyes. It pierced your ears with its colorful riffs and striking drum hits. It made you dizzy and you felt like your head was about to explode because the song was so loud you couldn't hear yourself screaming. And then, there was nothing. Nothing, after a massive avalanche of vivid sounds.

It's just painfully awful, but so is life; we will learn to deal with it as we go and make it a pleasant experience by our very own effort, always hoping to have others that care enough to support us when we fall. This is what some of us call ‘living’.

Having that meaning in mind, I can honestly say I have never felt so alive.

“You really are tougher than most, aren’t you? To do such a brave yet stupid thing and walk out with nothing but bruises is really amazing, especially after that theatrical death speech. It was too well done for a first-timer, so I assume you’re already used to that.”

“Reikoku-sensei.” I finally opened my eyes and saw that at the moment we were outside the warehouse. “How is Ryo?”

My teacher sighed.

“Now I see why you’re not interested in Kouma-san at all.” I don’t think I understand what she meant by that or how is it relevant to this situation. At least I think I don’t. “She is alright, just terribly worried. I sent both girls to buy us something to drink after Kouma-san finished patching you up. The way Shiina Ryo looked at you was getting on my nerves, really.” 
“What d you mean by pat…” As I tried to move, I noticed that under my jacket (that was covering me like a blanket) I was not wearing my shirt. Instead, what covered my torso like a female top were bandages and I could feel the scent of herbs flowing from them. “Kouma did this to me?”

“Yes, right after I finished taking photos of you for my personal gallery.” She looked away, probably because of the lack of reaction on my side. “You’re not in the mood for jokes, I get it. Yes, Kouma took care of Morimoto Ayaka and you. She took several things out of her tiny purse of hers just to find you medicine. You’d be amazed; it was just like a magician’s number. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t believe it, and I know that because I was here and I still don’t quite believe it.” Yeah I would. “Be sure to thank the doctor when she arrives and… never mind, here she comes.”

Feeling much better than I expected to but still very stiff and sore, I stood up and looked to the direction Reikoku-sensei faced and received something that in my condition could be considered a surprise attack. I was not given a chance to fight back, and in such circumstances there is only a single thing one can do: to receive the blow and hope for the best.

At that moment I was completely overwhelmed by Shiina Ryo’s embrace.

There was no need for words. We both had a long day and a not-so-short week and there was plenty of time to strengthen the bonds that were born online, so we actually knew how each other felt. We both have done our best to overcome personal obstacles. We both had won.

That time I actually hugged her back.

We stayed like that for a while, and it didn’t felt like an eternity at all; in fact, I honestly think she let me go prematurely, but I didn’t say anything because sounding clingy in front of Reikoku-sensei and Kouma Yon. Oh, right…

“Thank you very much for taking care of me, Kouma.” I felt somehow embarrassed for that public demonstration of affection, although I knew I shouldn’t. Maybe it’s the cultural shock of being in Japan, I’m not sure. “I wouldn’t have made it without you, partner.”

“You’re welcome.” Her face remained still. “Just keep in mind that this round is over, but not the competition.”

It didn’t took me a long time to see what she meant by those words, but it certainly took me longer than it should because I couldn’t make sense of Reikoku-sensei’s hand resting on her shoulder. Was she… being comforted? What for? I mean, I’m the one who fell upon sorted tools and mechanical parts.

As soon as Reikoku-sensei realized I could see what she was doing, she removed her hand gently enough for an untrained eye to take her gesture as natural. Then, in an obvious effort to avoid further questioning on that subject, she moved towards us and started talking to Ryo.

"You suggested a special task force to investigate and deal with Shugoshin or any other exquisite phenomena appearing in the city, right?” Reikoku-sensei looked like she was seriously considering that idea. "Sounds interesting. I suppose we can talk more about that on Monday.”

I was a little confused.

“Excuse me, what?” Did I say I was a little confused? I believe ‘borderline desperate’ fits much better. “We barely finished that monster and you are honestly considering turning this into a hobby? Not only that, isn’t it a little bit too soon to assume there are others?”

My teacher turned to face me.

“There are, and I refuse to say anything else right now.”

“Do you actually have a reason for doing so?”

“While I personally would love to, there is something slightly more important than that in my priority list right now.” She pointed to the girl who was still asleep, but not looking feverish anymore. Right, there’s the Ayaka situation. “About that, I need to talk to you in private for a second.”

“Sure.”

We took a few steps and then she whispered, presumably so neither Ryo nor Kouma would listen to her.

"I need you to take them away from here, because I will have to deal with Ayaka's parents now and that is most likely going to be the hardest part. Believe me, fighting that thing sounds like a piece of cake compared to having to explain to her parents that their daughter was technically possessed and might have problems with the local authorities, especially because of small things such as carrying weapons around. I don't think I will be home for dinner tonight, and I probably won't be able to visit you tomorrow as well. So, don’t worry about my portions, okay?" Slightly numb I nodded, honestly trying to ignore her calling my place ‘home’ once again.

We would only find out at Monday morning, but Ayaka had to transfer.

I didn't pay attention to the reason given by Reikoku-sensei, but I'm pretty sure most of the class will end up buying it. A certain group of girls will probably spread extremely surreal theories about this, and most of them will be about Minato and Ayaka's moving being directly related (which would be pretty much obvious, even for a complete idiot; I don't think anyone could actually believe it was a coincidence).

For a while, I suppose everyone will be talking about a big fight over a boy (partially truth) or how a friend made her family move in order to keep living close to the other and even about a romance between the two of them. I guess the way this story will end depends on their creativity alone, since calling one of the involved girls to ask what really happened would spoil everyone’s fun. In this particular case, it’s probably for the best.

And then, just after the heat of the moment is gone, everything will go back to normal again because small but economically developing cities are pretty much like that. I suppose that is what peace truly means: not the complete lack of problems or any events whatsoever but the unusual ability to make things get back on track and reach the same outcome even when they took different trajectories, completely ignoring the fact butterflies were tiring themselves flapping their magnificent wings on the other side of the world. It's the real world's version of the literary reset button, and surely it is useful.

Thankfully, the rest of that weekend was uneventful. There were no supernatural or mysterious elements from that point on and because of that, even Kouma seemed to be able to enjoy herself when we decided to meet spend the rest of the Saturday evening at Le Ciel Bleu after heading briefly to our respective homes to take the hot showers we deserved and needed so much. The mood lightened up and Kouma even tried to smile at a certain moment, but she wisely stopped herself when she saw the terrified look on the other customers' faces.

Sunday was calm, nearly monotonous. I woke up surprisingly early for someone who had just solved a mysterious case and fought barehanded a grotesque supernatural creature with reality shifting powers. From its very first moment I knew the day would be really empty and instantly grabbed my cell phone with the intention to call Ryo, and then I remembered Ayaka's case.

It’s time for some ‘book end epiphany’, which fits pretty well this story since I have not let go of that hypothesis yet. I have already grown a lot in a week; I learned that I should face my problems instead of running away because that's the only way I can protect the things that matter to me. If only I had learned it before I bet my life would have been easier, but I can't change the past. I can however avoid doing the same mistakes in the future and keep learning every day. And if I learned anything on this situation with Ayaka, it's that I should not base my happiness on other people. I am not sure if I am honestly romantically interested in Ryo yet, but even if I end up finding myself in love with her I'd better not be too dependent on her.

Besides, there is still plenty of time for us to actually decide on how we feel towards each other and develop something that could be properly called an amorous relationship; as I evolve so does my hypothesis, and I’m starting to believe I am actually living the beginning of a novel series.

Leaving the cell phone on the mahogany bedside table, I go to the window and once again gaze at the beautifully simple view of the city. After standing in front of the window for a while, I decide to do something I didn't have time to do since I got here. I turn on the amplifier with the bass guitar in my arms and get ready to practice for a couple hours.

I am certainly going to text her later, I know I will. After all, we're friends and it's not like we have much to do on a Sunday but chat. But right now I don’t feel such an unquenchable thirst for that; all I need to feel alive is my own self and a brand new jazzy tune.

I'm looking forward to the next week.

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| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]
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The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume3 Prologue

2012-11-29T21:02:45Z

Ryuno: can't believe a mistake this silly even happened.

When I was ten years old I fell in love for the first time, and soon after that I murdered someone for the first time too.

Those two occurrences took place near each other in the subjects of both temporal sense and physical distance. Another similarity between them is that the individuals involved in my actions belonged to the same family: even though the actions seem to be direct opposites, it doesn’t change the fact I hurt both at the end.

Mirrored moments.

Often for dramatic effect, those situations are put on the same scenario in books and movies: where the little sister gets kissed, the older brother gets killed. Although close in one aspect in my case, it didn’t happen exactly like that: the fields were several blocks apart. The irony lies in the simple fact that if they were, it wouldn’t make those days even slightly more or less tragic. It would just have been a better story.

But even bad tales have some value.

From the literary standpoint, one can learn what not to do when writing a story although what matters is the execution: there are no boundaries for concepts, and not one of them can be called objectively ‘bad’, only ‘poorly developed’. What I meant by that is, despite whatever people might say your intentions are not half as important as what you do most of the time, if they are at all: you cannot be fairly judged because of them. Saving a human, your country or even the world doesn’t take a pure heart and is bound to generate the most horrible sort of backlash as the only reward you get for your good deeds.

I, personally, learned the same but for ‘life’ rather than ‘writing’; in this world, there are fights in which your only option is to lose.

A little backstory: even when I was a kid Mystery and I would always meet. Before I was taken in by my parents and their bizarre family thus becoming Koukishin Shinzou, too: in fact, it would be extremely hard for me to just point a moment when I wasn’t involved with unusual things for I can’t remember a single one off the top of my head. It’s actually very funny when it happens to someone else: couple elopes to get away from the supernatural only to adopt a kid who is a magnet to it.

Mother, the serious one who was taken away from the Koukishin household and knew how weird the world could be from personal experience, decided it would be better to run and hide and it made me really happy to know she wouldn’t just leave me behind like others did before her. Father, the smiling one who took her away and unlike me was really just a normal person who got caught up in this whole nonsense, thought my ‘gift’, which was not a supernatural ability in any way, was meant to be used to save people. Even now I am sure he’d tell me I was a hero of justice or something.

Back then I believed him and his view of the world, and that ultimately led to this tragedy that might always haunt me. It’s up to your personal judgment to say whether he was right for wanting me to use my abilities to the fullest and help others or as wrong as one could be for not considering how much damage this could give to a child or projecting his own expectations and dreams basically living vicariously through me, but to me it was not about ‘what’; the concept was understandable as I did have it in me, the natural skill to fight back even without the need of having any special powers. It was ‘how’.

His idea of saving the world was to travel all around it solving mysteries or doing good deeds and similar, making our lives seem like an 80’s adventure television show with episodic structure. It was not that much of a change from their usual schedule, being on the run from the Koukishin family like it was the top criminal organization in the universe or something like that. Whether it was close to the truth or not is up to debate.

Anyway, regarding the Lang family as we met them: the father, Lang Hoi, was a noveau-riche engineer with aspirations of becoming a businessman; Lang Mui, the mother, was the daughter of a formerly great rice farm owners’ family who descended into oblivion due to bad administration; the elder son, Lang Yuen, was seventeen and above average when it came to studies; and then there was Lang Shou, their pride and joy.

This is the family I wrecked.

For years I have been torturing myself over this and it will never end until all is said and done, until I, the selfish lying bastard, get closure. The reason why I need to talk to her, to see if she can forgive even though I know she’ll never forget, is quite simple: I need to move on.

Every single time I look at Shiina Ryo I think of that.

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| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]
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The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun 1st date: Shiina Ryo

2012-11-05T23:48:24Z

Ryuno: grammar/missing line/formatting

I approached her table without a good idea on how I would do it, but what little I knew about cold reading gave me an idea. That, or the fact the papers she was trying to organize had words such as ‘outline’, ‘plot’, ‘character ability sheet’ and stuff written on them.

She was probably younger than me but to some extent it was hard to tell due to her, erm, mature proportions. I guess kids really develop faster these days, there must be some truth in that whole ‘hormones in the water’ gossip going all around the world.

“So you write?” 
“Not really, because I’m a writer.” She just looked at me for a moment as if I was meant to react to that. “It was a joke. Fiction writers hardly write, you know: they plot and devise day and night, but writing? Funny as it might sound, the only situation a writer really writes on a regular basis is when adapting the query letters he or she sends to hundreds of publishers so the e-mail system won’t tag it as spam. Which is ironic, since most of them will send you automated answers back when rejecting your work. And be sure they will do it again and again one at a time, like the companies work as a tag team against you.” 

Well, great date already. I sure knew how to pick females. No wonder I was single.

Could be worse.

“Oh, I see. I work in a factory. Carrying weight and cutting stuff, pretty much.” 
“Sounds interesting. What is it like?" 

That wasn’t the kind of reaction I was used to, so before I told her more about the wonderful world of building banners I had to confirm she really wanted to know about it.

”Why do you ask? Research for a story or sheer curiosity?” 
“Aren’t those the same?” 

Landmine checked: stepped on it, and stepped on it good.

“Point taken.” I bit my cookie with hardly any interest. “It’s insanely boring, but not as depressing as outsiders think if you’re not particularly afraid of manual labor and standing up all day. Colleagues are pretty much macho jerks with no lives, but even jerks have good qualities and if you ever feel like drinking, which I shouldn’t advise because you’re underage, they can be a lot of fun. Pay is fair coming from the point no one there, and by that I mean my sector, took their studies too seriously and there’s always the chance of climbing to the top by making use of the offered scholarship programs. Considerably better than the standards of the Industrial Revolution.” 
“You’re kinda cool.” 

Really? I did my best there and all I got was a ‘kinda’? Girl, you should be putting me under a chocolate shower after that. No, wait, ‘chocolate shower’ doesn’t give me the best of mental images, thank you very much, Internet.

''You’re welcome.''

W-w-what the hell was that?

''Oh, sorry.'' 
''Wrong self-defeating first person narrator.'' 
''Carry on with your quest.'' 

The girl looked at me curiously when my focus went from the mysterious voice speaking in underlined italics inside my head to her and I considered going back to therapy once this was all done.

For the moment I sighed, trying to regain composure.

“Is that so? Cool enough for chocolate?” 

And then I wanted to hit myself. Getting straight to the point like that was a surefire way to end up the day with not even a faint smell of cocoa. Sure, I hadn’t been in that kind of situation in a while, but it was no excuse for my behavior. Where was my courtesy? Had I complimented the girl yet? Had I even asked her name?

“...I don’t think you need a certain degree of coolness to get chocolate, just money.” She bit her lip. “If anyone told you that, they were probably pulling your leg.” 

...I seemed to have missed something here. Was she taking what I said seriously?

“Uh, it was a joke.” 

It really wasn’t, and frankly, I wasn’t expecting to get away with that either. Except I did, and her reaction surprised me once more.

“Oh, I see. I don’t usually understand jokes very well as they’re happening, and I was only explaining it to you because I was considering you could be the same. It makes some situations with people hard to deal with and so I figured it would be for the best to share intel on this because there is no point in not taking part in something you want if you can, right? You want chocolate and you can get it, so why shouldn't you just because of a joke? It would be a whole other thing if it could harm your health, but...”

And then I understood her reasoning: this was because I didn’t get her first joke either.

Out of concern for a potential fellow in different sense of, or rather, mild ignorance of humor, she didn’t mind going out of her way to offer input even if it wasn’t really needed. Even in a small town like this, it wasn’t as easy to find people willing to help others they didn’t know because everyone seems to be always too scared of being made a fool of, not without reason. Hell, even I was just talking to her to get myself some cocoa goods, so it was a very close-to-home thing. That was very sweet. Not so sweet I didn’t want her chocolate anymore, no sweetness from a girl could ever compare, but it was very heartwarming.

“That’s good information right there. Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome. It’s kind of a superpower, really.” 

And then I saw my opening. Brushing aside pride and the compassion, I turned myself into the conqueror once more to achieve my final goal.

“Thing is, I do have a superpower too.” 

Her eyes started shining and I knew I hit jackpot with that line. That chocolate, I mean, that girl, was mine!

“Oh. Explain it to me.” 

That girl was one of a kind. She didn’t even question the existence of it, the probability of me just being joking again. She just had curiosity on how.

I saw an opportunity so I came and...

“Wouldn’t you rather go somewhere and have me show it to you?” 

...failed to conquer. The look on her face blatantly showed me I was once again too forward.

“No thanks, I’m waiting for someone here. Besides, looks can be deceiving and I have very little interest in the execution of things in comparison to their concepts. Hearing it out should give me a better understanding as long as you do a proper job of explaining it.” 

So I explained it to her in detail. It was hard telling where did the caring person ended and the insensitive one began.

“So spikes. Like that one Mutant guy.” She seemed utterly disappointed. “How original.” 

She gazed to the side very dramatically, as if hoping for the person she was waiting for to just come and take her away from me. Author or not, you can always be sure a girl knows how to hurt your pride with a single gesture.

“No, horns. Heavy ones, very strong.” 
“Oh.” 

She stood still like the news shocked her deeply.

“Is there anything wro-” 
“Wait. You’re telling me your superpower is to materialize horns out of your body.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Give me a second, maybe I’m just going full ‘split-thinking’ here.” 

She grabbed her phone and spent around two minutes typing and scrolling so fast I couldn’t believe she was actually doing anything other than punch buttons to release stress, which left me very unsettled, until she stopped with a cat-like smile on her face.

“What were you doi-” 
“Research. Sorry about that, I just had to ensure you didn’t just tell me something really silly there.” 

At that point I wasn’t even sure if I should feel offended or not.

“What?” 
“I was thinking they were just regular horns coming out of your body, which would be very bad in battle especially if they’re heavy like you said. But they’re actually projectiles, right? You shoot ‘em like arrows and can take down even strong wood doors, right?” 
“Uh, no?” 

She seemed confused.

“OK, so are they poisoned?” 
“I don’t think so.” 
“Extendable?” 
“Not very far, no.” 

Her left hand angrily touched her forehead like she was trying to dig something she missed out of it.

“Can you at least plant them on stuff?” 
“Nope, they’re gone once they lose contact with my body.” 

At which point she clearly lost it.

“...are you serious?” 
“Why, is that bad?” 
“Of all possible powers, your main way to fight is ridiculously close ranged and by that I mean running and tackling people or things.” 
“It looks a lot cooler than it sounds though...” 

Only then I realized my mistake: someone so focused on the conceptual parts would not give a damn about whether it looked cool or not. Worse than that, if we were to look deep into it, I basically just told a writer that special effects make up for the lack of well-thought plot devices. The look on her face told me I wasn’t over analyzing it, not a little bit more than her anyway. Primal fear started taking over and I felt my legs getting restless.

A storm was coming.

“OH MY SCIENCE, YOUR ABILITY IS GO ‘HORNY’ ON COMMAND.” 
“I appreciate the pun and all but...” 
“ARE YOU EVEN TRYING HERE? CAN YOU EVEN CALL THAT A SPECIAL ABILITY?” 
“Uh, I think this date is over...” 

Because the situation clearly couldn't get any worse, I had to run my mouth.

“WHAT DATE? YOU JUST CAME HERE AND ASKED IF I WROTE OUT OF NOWHERE! I WAS BEING POLITE. WERE YOU TRYING TO PICK ME UP, AND BY TALKING TO ME ABOUT SUPERPOWERS WHILE AT THAT? WHY, BECAUSE ANY GIRL SITTING ALONE ON A CAFE IS JUST WAITING FOR A MAGICAL MALE TO COME AND SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET? HOW MUCH OF A DESPERATE CREEPER CAN YOU BE?” 

Everyone in the cafe was looking at me.

“I’ll just go and...” 
“DON’T IGNORE ME!” 

I dropped money for my drink on the table and ran away from the cafe and made a point of never trying to hit on someone on a maid cafe again.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II

2012-11-05T23:43:09Z

Ryuno: formatting/missing words

== Part 1 ==
In a sense, of course.

What really happened is that I was all of a sudden brought back to the Festival along with Ryo, whose body just collapsed in front of me. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough to catch her.

Actually, I was thankful for both that and having two arms to catch her with.

After checking her pulse and discreetly running my hand down on her back to make sure the knife wound wasn’t there, I sighed deeply with sheer relief and then reached for the mobile phone in my pocket. One look at it and I was assured of what I suspected.

Time did not move at all ever since the kiss.

Another illusion? Seemed too complex for one, and it went on for too long, but I could not find another plausible explanation with the knowledge I had so far. My arm was here, I didn’t feel exhausted in any way other than mentally. Confusion levels rising and that alone was too much for my brain to handle at that point.

''Everything happened, but inside a layer.'' 
''A sub universe or a ‘scenario’ if you will.'' 
''It did, though.'' 

The Darkest.

''The girl is safe, you just defeated her Overdrive; to be precise, she is safe because you defeated it.'' 
''Although my speculation is that the reason why she’s passed has probably to do with the ‘condition’ her ability imposes.'' 

…condition? Wait, is this ‘Overdrive’ the Shugoshin-possessed state? So there really is a difference between a host fighting commonly and that…

''You got that right.: Ayaka and Ryo had breakdowns and the Shugoshin took over.'' 
''On the other hand the horn guy and you fought using the Shugoshin as weapons, so it wasn’t Overdrive but rather the correct usage.'' 
''Not that it pleases me to admit I am biologically no more than a glorified wishing well of destruction.'' 

What about Reikoku-sensei?

''She’s not a host, has the wrong sort of mind.'' 

No, I meant ‘why isn’t she here now’: if you say this was real, shouldn’t Reikoku-sensei have gotten here during the fight or at least after it? How can she expect to defeat the hosts if she can’t detect or at the very least provide immediate post-attack assistance? Is her idea of ‘saving everyone from them’ waiting for them to kill people so she can trail the monsters?

All the doubts I had earlier were resurfacing in no time and given the circumstances it was hard to pinpoint what was probable and what was paranoia. Was I wrong to have trusted that woman? Was I nothing but a puppet and bait in the hands of a self-righteous psychopath?

''Save it for later, we’ve got company.''

“She’ll be okay, Shin-tsu. You are needed somewhere else.” 
“Kouma.” I was almost annoyed by her presence at that point. “What do you mean? What are you doing here?” 
“No time for explanations, I know it’s a cliché but deal with it. What I am doing is damage control. If you cooperate, no one has to die.” 

I felt my eyes shift to match the mind state I knew was the worst of me.

“I’m going to ask this once so answer carefully. Are you threatening me?” 

She seemed hurt and shocked to her core, even horrified; I never thought I would see her that way let alone be the perpetrator.

“…look me in the eyes.” 
“Fine.” 
“I love you too, Shin-tsu. Would I hurt and manipulate you?” 

Didn’t take a lot of brain work for me to realize what my answer would be.

“If you had to for what you believe is my sake, yes, I’m positive you would.” 

It didn’t offend her, or if it did, she didn’t let it show.

“Do you trust me regardless?” 
“I do.” 

Which was true, too; Kouma Yon was literal-minded and an extremist, but she cared about Ryo and me in her own way so even if I couldn’t always agree with her when it comes to ‘execution’, I could trust the ‘concepts’ she had in mind enough to listen and help moderate her behavior. Her intentions were not harmful to me, at the very least of that I was sure.

“Good.” She nodded. “Thus a new experiment begins.” 
“Kouma, I’m a little too tired for this.” 
“Don’t worry; I’m here to save you. This is why I moved back in time.” 
“This ought to be the worst practical joke ever, Kouma. Even by those twisted standards of yours, I might add.” My crossed arms were trembling as I still got the ‘phantom pain’ of having lost one of them inside the monster’s world. “If you’re not giving me any evidence proving that you actually can travel in time, I’d rather stop this conversation right now.” 
“I know about you being KEN.” 

Something clicked inside my mind when she called me that name and then I remembered many, many things I came to this town to forget.

“…I’m listening.” 

She seemed absolutely delighted.

“The phone is going to ring. Pick it up. Repeat the lines I’ll whisper in your ear with exactly one second of difference and the same intonation: no mistakes allowed for now, we need to keep this timeline as close to the original as we can.” 

It did.

As I raised the phone to my ear level all I could hear was static followed by faint background noise, clearly the result of muffling the input area of the phone. Whoever it was on the other end, the intent was to make sure that the receiver would talk first: the reason I could assume was to find out if who picked it up was me.

After a few seconds I coughed just as Kouma did and intentionally took the bait.

“Hello?” 
“Nyahahaha~~! Do you remember me, KEN?” 

I wouldn’t forget that stupidly flamboyant laugh, ever.

“Death Drive.” 

Death Drive/D.D. used to be a Japanese scammer and murderer with a penchant for playing Houdini who would fake his death countless times, including on internet live streams and such. It was in one of those underground sites that I met Ryo. Not that we were into snuff or anything similar, anyway: I was there as part of my self-imposed and ultimately failed trauma-overcoming ‘routine’ and she was there to disprove him pointing out the flaws and inconsistencies of his number and method like an annoying kid at a magician’s presentation.

Except the ‘magician’ got so angry he went after her.

Over the phone and through the internet, I acted as a consultant and helped her survive his attacks. Together we defeated him and ended up sending the guy to jail for life as he was wanted all over three countries for many crimes that involved ‘faking deaths’ of other people, as in more than one coffin of a person related to him was found all clawed up inside because the victim desperately tried to get out and died spending the little oxygen he or she had under seven feet of mud after the bastard drugged them to put them in a ‘playing possum’ kind of state. He barely made it to prison though, as he had a heart condition and ironically almost kicked the bucket for real because he a little bit too nervous when he got caught. A temper and bad, bad heart made a lousy combination.

That’s when the two of us, Ryo and I, bonded. Not the cutest story for many, but it was cute enough for me because that bond lasted. Even against my attitude, for I would never dare say ‘will’; all I wanted from the bottom of my heart was to be near her for the rest of my life, regardless of title or relationship. This was obvious from the beginning to me, although whether I would get that or not was a matter of chance.

“The one and only. I just got out of prison a few months ago and thought I’d drop by and say ‘hello’ to our common friend.” 

As Kouma was telling me my next line, I could only think of how I did not have time to wonder how he got my number. This seemed specific enough to raise suspicion inside my heart.

“How exactly, pray tell? You got life sentence, no chance of parole ever. Your own lawyer applauded when the judge said it.” 
“And for as long as I was alive, I served it. Thing is, people seem to forget details and I think they are the most important thing, much more relevant than facts. My files said a lot about me, but not enough for the new prison I was transferred to. They saw me as a crazy murderer and all, and were ready for that. Not for someone whose purpose in life was to fake deaths with high-end or third-world-class methods, and thus with the unfortunate demise of Mr. Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier set Death Drive free, more now than ever before. This is why you were not told about my grand escape by your information service, although while we’re on the topic of information providers it should be noted that word on the streets is that you have been out of touch with your family and probably wouldn’t have gotten the gossip. If it existed, anyway.” 
“So you came after Ryo?” 

A disgusting snicker too sharp for my ears pierced through them, all the way to my brains.

“Not really. I mean, I might kill her too, what with her being a pretentious nuisance of a prey last time, but the one I’m after is you. You really annoyed me when you got involved, because it’s one thing to be against a kid and the other is to be against a living legend who is, as all of them, just a fake.” 
“It’s not my fault if you got worried thinking you were clashing against a genius detective or something. That is the kind of thing that only happens in movies. You should be thankful it was just another kid instead.” 
“Cause that’s exactly what you are, right? You lying demon. You fooled me into thinking that once already but I’ll get you this time, and in the only way it could hurt you: I’ll kill them all, and only because of you. You don’t get the hero’s death you crave for. You will be the only one who survives as everything burns to the ground. Mark my words, KEN: I’ll make your purgatory life hell.” 
“Still obsessed with imagery, I see. I know you like playing games. Tell me the target and we’ll race over who gets to it first while trying to catch each other.” 
“Tired of that. Let’s do something else.” 
“Like what?” 
“You try and find me hiding within school grounds before your teacher bleeds to death.” 

I knew what my next line was before Kouma Yon whispered it in my ear. 

“No.” 
“…” 
“I refuse. Do you understand that? I won’t become a sitting duck for you and I won’t waste my time over this. If you’re going to kill her, just do it. Let’s see what else you can do.” 
“For starters I can kill more students!” 

Getting more people involved was not the most pleasant of scenarios for several reasons, but I didn’t need to think about it because I was still getting all the answers ready-made.

“People I care even less about? What are you, twelve? If you’re going to negotiate on terms I should bet my life on, you ought to be able to make a better proposition than ‘run around with no idea whatsoever of where I am while I watch you from afar’. The stakes aren’t high on your end, thus this bet means nothing to me. I don’t care about catching you in particular; I just want you out of my way. You on the other hand, want my head. See how we’re different?” 
“…” 
“For me, it’s easy to achieve what I want. Kill her right now, I’ll just spread the word that an armed lunatic is within school grounds and Japanese police will be here in moments, having all those issues with guns and what not. They might be no good with conceiving ways to prevent you from escaping but you know damn well I am. In my case, the ‘no casualties’ condition is a bonus, not a goal. For you, it’s now a very important thing that I am the only person who knows you are out of prison and can put you back there for good, if not aim for a ‘special case’ informal death sentence using connections with other inmates or wardens. You don’t know my limitations, but I know yours.” 
“I know one. You can never kill again, KEN.” 

So he ''did'' get information from Lang Shou. That explained it all.

“Imprecise, therefore incorrect; if that’s all you know about that story, you’re in for a surprise. So, are you going to kill her? I thought you wanted to play with me.” 
“What are your terms?” 
“Oh, now we’re talking.” I sighed just like Kouma Yon did. “I need an hour to work on my side before the game starts. I’ll try to gather spies from the people here, students and parents alike, and brief them just enough information so they can be useful but not enough for them to get in my way as I have full intention of reaching you myself. Keep in mind that while you can take them down if they approach you consider that I’ll find you easier if they are my spies because I’ll know who went on which route and then... well, it’s up to you. I won’t give any more tips, already did my part in making this game more interesting. Are you with me so far?” 
“You have twenty minutes. I’ll call again when it’s time.” 
“You are in no condition of negoti-” 

Call disconnected.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma sounded like she was trying to be careful with her words. “You know why he did that, right?” 
“She’s already wounded, so he doesn’t have the time.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Guess we don’t have the time to waste either. By the way, you could tell I was bluffing, right?” 
“I know you were, but only because you approached me during those twenty minutes in the previous timeline looking pretty desperate, or at least as desperate as you get when you’re into something. I also know you could easily have been serious about it.” Matter-of-factly she just implied I’d allow murder to happen, just like that. If she thought that way, arguing was useless. “He held quite a grudge towards you.” 
“Not personal: I think he is on bad terms with everyone he ever crossed his path but I happen to be one of the few who are still alive.” 
“And he’d go out of the way to his freedom just to take ‘one of them’ out? You’re special to him. Whether you lied about your past or not is irrelevant at this point because you clearly did something at some point.” Kouma was serious and I couldn’t really blame her for being worried. “Koukishin Shinzou, if that is your real name, who are you?” 

I had to be honest albeit not necessarily specific.

“It is my ‘real’ name, just not my birth name; I’m adopted. I was taken by the most normal couple in the world who just happened to be the odd ones out in this absurdly unusual family. This should be as far as my connection would go to the weird circumstances, but I’ve gotten into some messed up stuff of my own and ended up making a name for myself as an individual rather than a son of the household. Because of that, people know my nicknames but most of them don’t know me. I know people.” 

She seemed satisfied with that vague answer of mine.

“I like you better now.” 
“Figured.” 
“You would, wouldn’t you? Before I tell you about the plan, tell me, so-called ‘hunter of monsters’: what good are you against a human?” 

Yes, that alone proved her time travel allegation even further. As if I needed any more proof despite the scripted lines and all.

''It could have all been a ruse; the lines could have been arranged on the other side too.'' 
''She could be working with Death Drive too, they all could.''

Let’s not go there; spiraling into paranoia is just what I don’t need right now.

“Good enough when it comes to deception.” 
“I’ll take your word on that.” An ironic reply considering what I just told her, but her voice had no sarcasm in it. Then again, I did tell her she’s not human to me. “Here is the plan: Ryo, dressed as you, will walk around school and act the same way you did in the first timeline following the script. Akane will keep your mobile phone and play the audio clips you will record with Megumi’s loop pedal and one of the microphones you used for the live performance. Whenever the phone with Ayaka gets a call, Ryo in disguise picks up too: synchrony is everything.” 

Let me suspend disbelief for a moment and assume that she got all of my movements down in exact words on paper, let alone in a way it couldn’t be misunderstood by a reader such as Ryo. Or that we can get high-school girls to help us pull a swindle or an operation such as that, just because they’re friends. Let’s point out a simple flaw first, save the awful implications for later.

“Hold on. What about ambience?” 
“What?” 
“Lack or different ambient noise on our end will make the recording stand out in places where he can both watch me and see what’s going on too. The recording won’t match the environments even when there’s no noise because of the room natural reverb too. D.D. might be an oddball but it will be hard to keep the act for long. Can we just redirect calls easily?” 
“Well, I wouldn’t know… it is your phone after all.” 
“Never tried, bought this new model right before coming to Japan and just had my number transferred.” Decided to omit the detail my previous one was eaten by a harpy from Kouma, who was just too much of a skeptic to take it even as a joke, which it was not, but would be a better reaction than hers anyway. I messed with it for a while. “Yes, this phone can.” 
“Alright, hand it to me. I’ll just set our speed dials’ first position to be each other.” 
“Good.” I was so focused I didn’t even want to make a joke about that. “I’ll wake Ryo up and brief her in. Can you get Megumi and Akane?” 
“No Rin?” 
“Her father is probably suspicious of me already, no need to add salt to the wound; what if we involve her and he follows us, only to be hurt or ruin the scheme? We know Akane’s mom isn’t like that.” 
“I see.” 
“We just have to hope they’ll cooperate with us, but if you say it’s for me Megumi might agree and Akane will come along.” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m absolutely certain I can get Akane to cooperate: it’s Megumi we will have to hope will come along, actually.” 

That made me confused.

“How can you be so sure you can mobilize them just like that? Did you talk to them about this before?” 
“Oh, not really. It is because of Ryo’s conspiracy.” 
“What are you talking about?” 
“Somehow, she guessed this whole ‘I want to protect you so I will get away from you but in a way it seems like we just grew apart because maybe we weren’t so close after all’ thing was your game early on and let, in her own words, the plot build up for a most cathartic finale. I aided her keeping track of your behavior with the café therapy sessions, but before you ask I actually am working on my thesis. When you told me about Megumi and Akane, I knew who we had to ally with to make sure you would be alone at some point during the festival. Then Akane gave us the information about the band ending plans and Ryo made sure you would not be told about it before the actual day so you’d be absolutely ready for some clashing morals and romantic angst when she confronted you, other than no place for you to just run away to. This is why we got Rin’s father to wait by the backstage and, although entirely unaware of our gambit, he was useful when it came to intercepting her and making you leave alone. What Akane doesn’t know is that her mother also indirectly helped the plan because she talked to Rin’s father a couple times before, what with being the only dedicated flower shop owner and all. I happened to overhear them talking while you played and while he was a little shocked that his beloved daughter hid something like that from him for so long, the hippie knocked some sense in him with a ‘boys will be boys’ kind of speech that reminded him of his youth days. In the end, we relied on luck a little but her sting worked.” 
“…Shiina Ryo out-conned me?” I laughed honestly from my heart. “Dear God, I’m going to marry her.” 

This was kind of intricate for a beginner so it made me wonder if the reason why they don’t seem to get along with other girls in school went beyond anti-social behavior. Another part of the explanation brought forth an even more unsettling question.

If it was all just part of the con she pulled on me, why did her Shugoshin go Overdrive? The plan would have ended there with the kiss; she should be happy but instead broke down. Sure that wasn’t what I expected from our first kiss either but it was because of the whole world fading to white and whatnot, not because it was such a bad kiss. Perhaps I’m mistaking the ‘cause’ here: let’s say it even wasn’t because of the kiss per se, but rather the strong emotion she felt triggering others in chain reaction after a period of bottling up, including the real cause. But what could that be? The emotional overload of a hundred of small problems or something else much bigger? If I were around, I probably would know.

“I’m sure she’d like that.” 

A certain fashionista I knew had an ennui face and I realized that, under the circumstances, it looked like I just spaced out imagining a married life with Ryo.

“Kouma, it was a joke.” 
“I know. Me being jealous is a constant rather than a common variable, so you just have to watch out for how much and not if I am or not; that is a sure thing.” 
“Talking about jealousy, it might be a little too rude to ask but do you think Megumi knows Akane likes her that way?” 
“Who’s to tell? One way to look at it is that she doesn’t have a clue; other implies she does and doesn’t want to reject the friend who gave her a home when she was in need. My personal guess, and I will take it as fact until proven otherwise, is that she knows and regardless of seeing her as a possible romantic pair or not will not move a finger until Akane takes the courage to go after her and confess properly. Which would be brilliant in a simple and effortless way, if you ask me: works if she just wants her friend to grow up or if she needs a more reliable and sure-of-herself lover.” 

How specific.

“Is that what you wanted the dynamic between Ryo and you to be? Good grief, Kouma, you’re such a maiden at heart.” 
“…” 
“Liking me or not, you wouldn’t have a problem if I got offended by being played that way and didn’t want to be involved with you guys anymore one way or another. Not only had you enabled her behavior, which could end up really bad, you also told me the whole scheme so that I could react the way I wanted. It was a matter of free will to you, and you were sure that one way or another I’d use mine to walk away if I had the chance. ” I sighed deeply. “So your personal conspiracy failed, in a myriad of ways.” 

I kind of wanted her to get mad but she just stared at me.

“It was an experiment. Experiments never actually fail, you know. They provide results one way or the other, even if the results are that you can’t achieve the ones you want by using that method; that outcome that could come across as bad narrows down the search and brings us closer to what can be called Science.” 
“So did you find out the answer to your question?” 
“It’s ‘yes’.” 
“And did you find the question to your answer?” 
“It was ‘whether I loved you because you were like her or because you are you’.” 
“...in a conditional question, marked by ‘or’, you replied ‘yes’ and that’s it?” 
“Exactly.” 
“OK then.” If that was good enough for her, it was for me too. “Enough talk; let’s pull a con on a convict.” 

A yawn was heard behind me but I had the impression she had been awake for a while.

“Shin-tsu.” Ryo said, half of the mouth still covered by her hand. “You’ve been waiting to say that for your whole life, weren’t you?” 

I didn’t bother denying it.

== Part 2 ==

The five of us stood on the rooftop as we prepared to perform as a different sort of band than the one I played with earlier and I felt like mood of the day was definitely crescendo.

To make things simple: I had two sorts of drama, kissed someone, had a visit from the past, slammed that bass with a progressive/extreme metal group, someone I cared for was in danger, got into a fight and it was an established fact my friends schemed a lot too. The festival was an emotional rollercoaster yet I didn’t feel that awake in months so it was hard to complain; I really missed the thrill and I hated myself for it.

Not just for that, but whatever.

The two remaining members of our posse joined without making many questions, but this probably had to with me activating The Darkest in front of their eyes and showing them the absence-of-flames I could summon. Akane was weird enough on her own, but what surprised me was how Megumi seemed badly shocked for a split-second and then calming down only to get hyper enough to ask why I didn’t use the visually exquisite anti-pyrotechnic ability as special effects during our concert.

The moment Kouma handed each one of us the Bluetooth earpieces and made sure we all had each other in speed dial I remembered how Megumi pawned her acoustic guitar and realized what Kouma and Ryo meant by how money mattered: it was easy to see how someone who for a while now have everything just handed to him would have trouble understanding the concept of not having enough monetary resources available.

What I couldn’t understand was why Kouma had two phones on her; it would be easy to comprehend if the number she gave any us was of the new one, but she did not even mention it even though it was on sight. The second model seemed very simple in comparison to her fashionable main one, not even from a well-known brand: it looked completely bootleg if I ever saw one, and I’ve seen my share of counterfeit merchandise through the years. What could be the purpose of that, if not to avoid using her day number for the calls?

Not the time to digress, I know.

The roles were simply established by default: Ryo would take care of distracting Death Drive by pretending to be me; Akane was the closest we could get to a gadget person and would operate both the phone that would actually connect to DD’s when he called and the loop machine we’d use to record my lines so I did not have to pick the phone and give away the plan somehow; Megumi would provide assistance to Akane but her job was to be the field agent that would make sure I could get unnoticed to the room we already knew he was in thanks to Kouma having been through this day once before; Kouma was our information source and mastermind for that operation. And me?

My job was, according to the fashionista, the same I chose on my own during the first timeline: to infiltrate and neutralize the bastard before he could do more than merely hurt our teacher.

Needless to say, I was uneasy. Thrilled in a sense, sure, but it was an unusual situation for that kind of mission: we had a ‘who’, the exact location of ‘where’ and more than enough data on ‘when’. Our real trouble was ‘how’ and we barely had any time to discuss it: it was either following Kouma’s lead or storming like a bull and risk Reikoku-sensei’s life.

I did not have much of a choice given the circumstances: I was offered a clean way out which would save me and others and the other option was letting Death Drive have his way.

I’d never.

With Kouma’s plan, Ryo would wear my clothes and walk around school in the same fashion as I did in the first timeline to keep it from diverging into new events due to the Butterfly Effect (not something I thought was entirely possible, but would have to work for a while somehow) and keep the day as predictable as possible until I could sneak behind DD and rescue Reikoku-sensei. This would have been all fun and games if it wasn’t for one detail: if my clothes were with Ryo, then whose clothes would I wear to successfully disguise myself in a school that was pretty much girl-only?

Yeah, pretty obvious and not particularly pleasant.

So they lent me some of Megumi’s, say, ‘hair’: one set of medium length red extensions, and despite having seen a lot of stuff ever since I was born I have to admit seeing that at least part of Megumi’s look was actually detachable and under the several layers of extension her hairstyle was essentially a sidecut freaked me out for some reason. Each of the extensions was placed under the sides of my own hair giving me an edgy look along with the side-swept fringe held by a bobby pin at the end. Ryo’s thick-frame glasses weren’t half as strong as I assumed they would be, so neither of us should have issues being with or without them. Kouma did my makeup; I told her ‘no heavy stuff’, but it’s not like we had the time for her to overproduce me anyway and the key was not to get too much attention, which I assume would be harder if I looked like Megumi did every day.

A little padding on the uniform to make up for my absolute lack of bosom helped although it would take a lot more than ‘a little’ padding if we were to simulate Ryo’s, so a few safety pins had to be placed on strategic points too. While they talked about my transformation on the go I realized my idea that Ryo was entirely oblivious to girly things such as makeup was unfounded and made me realize she probably used it a lot more than I noticed, which made me happy because being ignorant to a girl’s effort in cosmetics was pretty much a ‘guy thing’. And why did that make me, a self-proclaimed feminist, happy, you ask?

Because it took me one look at the mirror to realize they turned me into a hipster girl.

It kind of offended me deep down that to disguise Ryo as me they seemed to have a little more difficulty to make her look manlier, going as far as trimming her hair a little and using plastic to bind her generous-to-say-the-least bosom, tasks which she wasn’t particularly thrilled about. Still, despite the many bad things that could come out of it, there was no denying Kouma was right about her bone structure being the most similar to mine of the four girls; she looked like an idealized me so much it got to the point of making me look less like myself. Yet it wasn’t like I didn’t prefer her as a girl: there was just no way I looked that good as a boy.

She caught me staring at her and gave me the smile I missed so much in my life.

“Did you like it? Put a ring on it.” She extended her hand to me as those waiting for an engagement proposal but took it back after a single second and I knew it wasn’t just because that reference felt a little out of place. “Wait, I’m the guy now... this should be my job, traditionally. Go on, give me your hand. No… should I be on my knees while doing this, Shin-tsu?” 

Instant smirk.

“You ask as if I was the expert in proposals.” 
“Well, you sure flirt a lot amongst other things.” Ouch… With that critical hit blow I frowned instantly. I knew that was coming but it didn’t make taking the damage any easier. Guess I deserved that and the following five hundred remarks on that subject I surely would get over the course of months. “Forget it, I shouldn’t take things personal now. Let’s just move on. Our teacher’s life is at stake, it was shallow of me to waste time. I’m sorry.” 

No.

Postponing stuff or making things happen sooner than they should was what put us in trouble in the first place. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. The time was right then and letting the moment pass instead of hitting the iron while it was hot was a risk I was not willing to take.

“No, I’m sorry. You have the right to feel that way. I should have treated you as an equal and I apologize for not doing so. This is why we became friends in the first place, so I shouldn’t underestimate you and think you can’t take whatever I am dealing with. Concern does not justify concealing information, and thereby this offender offers a truce.” 
“On what terms?” 
“I promise to never hide anything from you again.” 

Dramatic pause, as expected of her.

“What is it in exchange for? Forgiveness?” 
“Forgiveness isn’t something that can be bought with a deal, no matter what the State might say about pardoning someone in exchange for information on others. Either it blooms on its own or it’s bound to be taken back in the future. Remission is more of a realistic procedure, if you ask me, so I’m aware I deserve some consequences whether I regret what I did or not because I wronged you.” I had to stop myself from going off the tangent too much. “What I want is the same of you: you are not to withhold information from me. If we are to stand side by side as equals, you need to stop hiding things too. You’re in some sort of trouble and not asking for help. While that is commendable as an effort, it means nothing if you can’t get past it on your own. Kouma and I, we’re here. If you need us, just ask.” 
“Just that?” 

I nodded.

“Just that.” Gently I took her hand and held it, ready for a shook. “Truce?” 

Rather than taken aback, she seemed peaceful like a burden was taken off her back.

“Yeah, I guess we really are the same. Truce.” 

We shook hands in a rather firm way but if it hurt her she did not let it show. Despite having kissed her earlier surely that was the moment of the day when I felt connected to her the most.

One interpersonal issue solved, all that was left was to save Reikoku-sensei.

I looked at the script she wrote for Ryo and realized why the idea was, at least to some extent, executable: it was made of references and had several drawings. Every movement, pose and line she had to lip synch had very specific written observations that tied with sentences and such in TV series, manga, movies, books and even real life people such as celebrities and politicians. In face of such bizarre script one cannot help but wonder if what brought Kouma Yon and Shiina Ryo together was not something particularly deep and poetical but the fact one of them is so derivative she cannot do anything without comparisons and the other has an insane crave for knowledge especially of the pop culture variant: maybe the initial spark of their relationship was indeed because they were, for each other, the only ones who could fully understand what the other was talking about.

I could comprehend that well, creating a bond over being extremely similar in one particular aspect. Surprisingly, I could even rationalize how Kouma managed to make a script with such a tremendous degree of descriptive information about my actions embedded in it.

This was only possible because Kouma’s ability was pretty specific.

She called it ‘It Keeps Happening’ and stated that the moment she activated it like I did she found out it worked like this: every time she sleeps she creates/overwrites her ‘save point’, to which she can return her mind to but not her body or any items. Kouma wakes up at the exact same moment that she did after using her power but once she sets a ‘save point’ by waking up, she cannot go back to a previous one ever again. Thus as long as she stays awake she can always use her ability to revert time on a personal level and rewrite the timeline.

Which did not, in any way, seem to match the alternative explanation she gave the other girls, that her power was to predict the future and ‘expel’ the script for someone. Whether she lied to them because we didn’t have the time to explain or because of a special reason she had not to be open about her power, I would just play along. Maybe it was a secondary effect of her time travelling power, I could not tell.

''Personally, I find that all to be a little tricky.'' 

Why exactly? I’d like to have your input on this.

''It’s obvious she’s something else, for she mastered her Shugoshin already to a point there isn’t a trace of it other than the power.'' 
''However, to do all that on the first time?''

Mastered her Shugoshin? So she doesn’t get voices in her head anymore?

''Don’t assume everyone does just because you do: my species isn’t known for sentience, or at least what you humans would consider sentience.''

What do you mean, then?

''Consider this: let’s say I am not the only of my species who actively thinks and talks, especially to the human host, and the other one is just like me.''

But it would be using the same logic you just condemned!

''Not precisely and it’s just a postulation so no need to get that upset: if I did not inform you of the full extent and limitations of your power yet, why would hers?''

…do you really want answers?

''Possible solutions.''

Alright then. How about ‘different personalities’? No, you talk too much about species, chances are you’ll disregard that and say you guys work on some sort of ant-like communist regime or something. Would it be too far from the truth to assume our powers were supposed to just keep developing instead of being stable from the start?

''You really can avoid seeing possibilities that are in your face when you don’t want to.''

Paranoia can be used against you too. Thinking bad of one of my ‘best friend’ persons is bad enough; two would be too much stress to handle at this point. Unless I acquire enough evidence for it to sink in as slowly as it can to avoid the complete shock, I’ll deny it with all I have.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma uttered to bring me back from my internal monologue. “It’s time.” 
“Understood.” I coughed on command, trying to get rid of the weird feeling at the back of my throat just to realize it was a psychosomatic symptom. “Standing by, waiting for your command.”

She stood still, visibly uneasy about what to do next.

“Are you sure? I could simply work as a source of data. This plan is a derivation of yours in the first timeline, you know.” 
“Whether it is or not, it doesn’t matter: the shortest the distance between a leader and the information necessary to guarantee the success, the better. You call the shots this time, Kouma; I’ll trust your judgment and follow your lead.” 
“I’ll definitely save you.”

Her bold statement made me ponder on how the events of the first timeline turned out; it shouldn’t be me who would be in danger, and if there was danger directed towards me it probably would be directed to Ryo, which made Kouma’s line even more unusual. She would not put Ryo in danger for my sake, and it was her plan. So what the hell did that mean?

“Wha-” 
“Everyone, on your positions!” Contrasting with the previous uneasiness, Kouma sounded no less confident than a general. “Ryo, go downstairs and wait for the simultaneous call to move outside as planned. Take your medicine as soon as you get there so we’ll have at least one hour before you’re drowsy or in pain.” 
"Aye aye Capt'n!" 

My favorite person in the whole world did an army salute and left.

“Akane, man your station.” She ordered to the silent girl who had already taken the messy fringe of hair out of the way of her hawk-ish eyes and only nodded in reply. The kung fu fighting fashionista then gazed at the easily amused fashion disaster. “Megumi, it’s not too late for you to back out.” 
“I don’t know much about what’s happening but if there’s something huge going on and a friend needs me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Megumi looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up. “Just take me out for burgers later and we’ll be even, okay?” 

She was quick to get angry, reckless, clueless whether it was fashion or business, irresponsible and had double standards; she was also quite normal compared to the others and a good friend who would accept hers gladly and fight anyone for their sake with what little weapons she had. I liked her a lot and was just thankful Kouma’s plan would keep Megumi away from the actual action rather than going back and forth and providing assistance to Akane, or at least away enough that she could not try anything ‘heroic’; it’s people like her, those who look in a way too good for this sinful earth, who die first.

“Shin-tsu.” 
“Yes, Kouma?” 
“Go.”

At which point I ran across the rooftop and threw myself to soar over the fence of the building; thus began the operation.

== Part 3 ==

The reason why I jumped was because I needed to be sure I’d be out of Death Drive’s sight and the only ways I could get to the floor on the side of the building he could not watch were by either breaking down locked doors to get access to the windows or doing what I did: he could not, in any way, see two KEN walking out the building door or the gambit would be ruined.

I used The Darkest in the same way I did inside Ryo’s dream-like subdimension on the first activation, by having the anti-flames in a layer enveloping my body instead of condensing it on a single spot. I guessed it would cushion my fall or at least let me heal faster than normal so I could move unnoticed by an alternative path Kouma had traced for me on a map of the school (and would possibly have hand-waved as part of her ability had I asked about it).

Frankly, my expectations were exceeded: in such short distance of four floors it actually reduced my terminal velocity to nearly nothing mid-air, making me not ‘land’ as much as ‘gently hover’ to the ground. Gravity found a new way to mess with me: just when I started learning about Physics in order to bend Space and Time properly, something like this happens…

It was out of my comfort-zone to say the least.

My first impulse was to look around and make sure that, despite what Kouma Yon told me, there was no one around at the exact time. It did not surprise me to see she was right again, although it was obvious she’d be considering the scripted phone call and all.

After placing the Bluetooth device on my ear I stretched just to be sure my body was okay, not for the first time after the ‘losing an arm’ incident, and started running through the route she drew to me. As I passed by trees and waited precise amounts of time to hurry to the next pre-marked stop while taking care not to slip or fall, as to ensure the timing would remain perfect and I wouldn’t be seen by anyone who didn’t see me in the first timeline which could unleash a chain reaction of magnificent proportions and hellish results.

Scouting to avoid others was easier with the enhanced awareness I had now that my Shugoshin was active: the less I focused on my vision the more I could sense the thermal levels around me and tell the difference, which explained quite a lot on the subject of how Ayaka’s could fight so viciously or the disorientation of the monster in Ryo’s dream-world when I got rid of that particular trace with The Darkest.

There was a lot at stake and I could only wonder if I still had the skill to make something like that happen or, if I didn’t, I could use the new acquired one to ensure the best outcome possible. Thus I began to ponder on it, because if Kouma, Ayaka and even that psychopath guy had somewhat complex ones I should get to consider its limitations to raise my chances of success, which meant saving someone’s life.

If I were to describe it based on appearance, I’d say it was just improbably malleable black anti-fire. Low damage but a lot of variety in possibilities of usage, along with unusual and unlikely sub-effect while being very exhaustive: it was hard to believe my power meant for surveillance alone or long-term fighting.

''Don’t fool yourself, the purpose was clear.'' 
''It was made for you after all.''

If you mean ‘assassination and deception’, I have to argue it’s only half right.

''Like I said, don’t fool yourself: this is tailor-made.'' 
''Just strong enough to kill but not the kind of power you’d bring to a battle if you could help it in most forms, and visually flashy looking enough to keep others away and yourself concealed from the most dangerous enemies’ radar may their eyes not be on you.''

So the reason why my attack power is so limited it’s because it’s a very broad ability?

''Think of it this way: there’s a limit to a Shugoshin’s power and it is inversely proportional to the area it covers.'' 
''The broader your range is in reality warping, the less you will of this limited power spread over the span of it.'' 
''Still with me so far?''

Yes.

''Good, good.'' 
''Now consider that you have to fight others with the same growth potential, probably to death: in a situation like that, what do you think would be the obvious way to spend your points?''

To focus on a particular deathly ability and raise it to its maximum potential compressing all of it on a single point: a better way would be with 80-85% on the specific ability and the rest on a sub-effect, like a ‘blade’ covering a particular area.

''Correct: is your ability one of those?''

No.

''And why do you guess?''

Because I don’t need 80% on the specific power: I just need to be strong enough not to be instantly killed by monsters and to overcome any human, so I can trick and defeat them because that’s how I fight. Therefore I can spend the rest on more valuable effects of it rather than in raw power, which would be a waste in my case. In comparison to the ‘blade’, mine would be more of a ‘bamboo with spikes’; in direct confrontation it would break, but the thing is I am not looking for a clash of weapons.

''You aim for the opponent’s meat.''

That’s exactly where it works just fine, because if I absolutely have to use something like that I’d rather hit just once.

''You mean in battle or in life?''

You know the answer already.

''As always with you, ‘both’.''

The phone I exchanged with Ryo for mine vibrated once and I did not need to pick it up because I knew it was Kouma making sure I was ready for the big halt. For the next 45 seconds I was supposed to stand by until the mass of people would pass and I could move again. Would have been an eternity of moments if I didn’t know that I would be able to see Ryo in action, as this was the one time in the route I was planned to follow when I’d ‘meet’ her.

I watched her walk and gesticulate with my phone in her ear, mostly as I would and sometimes as I should. Seeing her as a part of something like this had a certain appeal I won’t bother to deny even with the danger: it was like she was made for it, and I hoped she was feeling better by then. Sure there was a conflict in her life we did not have the time to talk about yet, but she finally made the transition from normal highschooler to girl with powers who cons criminals; as far as I was concerned, she dreamed about that day for years and envied me for it, although it’s arguable whether she honestly believed what I said or just appreciated the stories. Ironically as it might sound, I wanted her life too.

Everything was going according to the plan.

Ryo had been following Kouma’s instructions; Akane operated with surgical precision the loop pedal with the necessary snippets of my voice; Megumi would stay assisting her and getting the calls from Kouma but she was actually our trump card as she would be our secondary field agent in case something went wrong; Kouma would walk around unnoticed too one step ahead of us every time and ensure the situation would follow the planned route at whatever cost.

However, the moment I realized I thought ‘everything was going according to the plan’ I knew I should have known better than this and got my heart more ready for a disaster than usual and this is coming from someone who lives by ‘prepare for the worst, hope for the best’.

So I stood by.

That’s when I saw Rin approaching Ryo and knew it would all go to hell because Rin did not know that was not me and she had a certain look on her face as she held her father’s hand and went towards the girl disguised as Koukishin Shinzou. I dreaded that face so much.

The ‘teehee, I’m going to introduce you to my parents’ face. And it’s not just girls who do that kind of stuff, acting mature and cold to hide insecurity or more specifically the fear of rejection, so I couldn’t really blame her. Regardless of gender, some people are just closer to our conceptions of ‘maidens’ at heart than ‘commanders’, although nothing says one cannot be both. But Rin was one severely repressed broken bird and I could tell the cathartic performance and sickly sweet talk with her father gave her and injection of positivism and endorphin rush.

Of all times, she had to act like a love-struck teenager at that point: when lives are at risk, when I’m dealing with all sorts of trouble, when I had lost a very important thing to me, while she knew I had unfinished business with someone else. She had to pick today, because she was in a better mood than usual, to make her move. Rin had to choose this day to be like that. This only made me think of how Rin’s constant need to impose the mood was because she couldn’t just read it and that was the only way she’d know what was going on.

But what bothered me the most was to read her father’s lips from distance as they got closer and I could only try and predict what would happen at the moment she’d wonder why there was a girl wearing the clothes of her romantic interest and looking exactly like him while ruining the plan’s perfectly synchronized timing.

“…Rin, did you say Koukishin?” 

Yeah, I should have considered that even in a smaller city, as long as I’m in Japan some people might know the name ‘Koukishin’. That could mean a lot of trouble.

While I was busy trying to figure out a way to get us out of that situation without making everything so far be a waste a flash of colors, albeit slightly less colorful than usual, passed by and did something that affected us all.

It is always a matter of perspective.

I saw Megumi kiss Ryo and ruin the plan in great scale while doing her best so it wouldn’t be ruined by someone else; Ryo’s eyes opening in complete shock, still too lacking in field experience to know that the fictional rule of ‘whenever there is a plan in sight something is bound to go terribly wrong’ actually applied to reality as well; Akane probably saw something that angered her in a way, but implied she’d have a chance in the future because Megumi did not seem entirely adverse to kissing girls; Kouma was bound to be murderously furious by now one way or another and in the most potentially damaging example of all, Rin saw a Shin-tsu she would approach being taken in the way she wanted the most by someone who could not rival her in class, leadership or guitar playing.

I guess rich people get heartbroken too.

Knowing just thinking that made me a horrible person inside, I watched her consternation-filled eyes with a similar look her father gave her. It was stupid of her to expect more when the boundaries were established; it was idealistic to think something that started so wicked and wrong could become a proper relationship despite its roots. No one said teen rebellion is all sweetness, and there is a reason why growth is necessary. I still felt bad for her to get that kind of shocking view but at the same time I knew she had it coming one way or another. Not a matter of ‘what’, but ‘how’.

Rin didn’t run away crying, instead just staying there and looking back as he guided her away on the opposite direction back to what was left of the festival. Megumi ran while picking up her phone soon after the kiss, like it was a hit-and-run operation. Ryo just stood there but picked up the phone when D.D. called ‘me’ once again.

And this, well, this is when stuff got really, really weird.

In case things went out of script, the calls should be transferred to the phone I was holding so I could improvise lines for damage control. No one eve worried about my talent to do so, and not just because I took pride in being able to perform impromptu whether the subject was music or life, but because when I said ‘it was just something I came up with at the spur-of-the-moment’ I meant ‘I pondered over every possible scenario ever beforehand like every good comedian or performer should’.

You don’t just go on a stage and play whatever is on your mind, you execute combinations of riffs and licks you trained for quite a while altering them to fit the musical scale and overall idea of the composition; if it truly was randomness they wanted, any member of the audience would do. Improvisation took a lot of preparation.

I was ready for anything Death Drive could throw at me and all Ryo had to do was make sure he wouldn’t notice her lips weren’t in synchrony with the voice as it was a three-way call with her end muted. Well, almost anything.

His scripted line didn’t change at all, as if it was pre-recorded.

I panicked and felt like hanging up immediately, but managed to keep it until the exact point where the conversation was supposed to break on the script. I knew for sure that was virtually impossible: Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect simply do not work that way. It was absolutely preposterous to consider things would go smoothly on track after Megumi’s intervention, to the point where only bad time-travel novels would ignore the change in pace.

Let me say this once and for all: there is no such thing as a clean and easy time travel plot, under no circumstances. The moment you act outside of what was supposed to, the whole scenario is bound to change sooner or later because of cause and effect, like dominoes falling one by one. Hell, even having anyone who didn’t help me in the first timeline collaborate with us now was bound to affect the scenario quickly, for they would not be where they were and that would affect the actions and reactions of other persons as a direct consequence shaping the world into something unpredictable.

To have Death Drive say the exact same line despite all that change made this whole thing entirely unbelievable.

While a ripple in the water takes a while to affect something in large scale, no one with a brain could deny a disturbance like that had to make things go off script, because a) he saw something he didn’t in the first timeline, which would alter the course of information on his brain and b) the timing of the plan was done for and unless he had a script of his own to follow. Yet such an impossible ‘coincidence’ took place therefore it was safe to assume the game had to be even more rigged than I initially thought. Whom it was supposed to help… now that was an absolute mystery.

It’s times like this I hate mystery even without capital letters.

No matter how much I didn’t like the idea of even pondering on the subject, Kouma could have easily set me up. It made sense. She could have been sided with Death Drive to begin with or even planning to catch the two of us, killing two birds with one stone. A two-way trick; I trusted her to some extent, but they don’t call it a ‘confidence game’ over nothing.

But the silliest thing I could do at that point was to quit.

“Kouma, he’s cheating.” I said when she picked up after two and a half rings. Guess she didn’t see this one coming. “He might be really killing her and getting ready to escape right now. Hell, she might be already dead.” 

And it would be my fault.

“How do you know?” 

Naturally a lie came to mind.

“Feedback.” 
“What?” Kouma’s voice was getting breathy. “What do you mean?” 
“I heard feedback from the noise that happened by my side on his end. He’s not holding the phone anymore; it’s on speaker mode now. It wasn’t before so I take it Death Drive probably got his hands busy.” 

Such an obvious perversion of the truth yet if she outright denied its possibility it would be like she walked with a shirt with ‘traitor’ written all over it. Her reply was unimpressive.

“There was no feedback whatsoever, what are you talking about?” 

A creature with no creativity could not do much other than try and buy time. I would not let her, especially if Reikoku-sensei’s life was in danger.

“I’m going in.” 
“Shin-tsu, don’t! You’ll ruin everything! Stick to the pl-” 

But I hung up and ran fast enough to feel my lungs burning before she could say anything else. I knew it would ruin her plan that was supposed to protect us all, but I’d do it. I’d walk into his trap. Why?

Because ‘me finding out the scheme’ was certainly not in her calculations one way or another, but there was a possible outcome that would save Reikoku-sensei even if Kouma was actually being honest. It was simple, crude and effective.

All I needed to do was to assassinate Death Drive.

“GUH!” 

The taste and texture of bile filled the inside of my mouth and escaped it a millisecond before I could cover my lips with my crossed hands. I burned feverish and felt excruciating pain in every muscle or joint I had, my mind wavering and heart pulsing like a collapsing temple. As I watched the world spin around me I knew it was hopeless; if that was how broken I was, if that was how I got whenever I just considered murdering someone not possessed by an entity…

…I would only have one shot.

''Waiting for your command.''

“Huh.” I spit the vomit on the ground and bit my inferior lip hard enough to feel my canines pierce it. “SET ME ABLAZE, THE DARKEST!”

Halfway the growl the body of the young man some knew as Koukishin Shinzou was entirely embraced by the ghastly absence-of-flames and, as if watching someone else, I saw the position of my hands turn from wide open to claws. Anatomically speaking, my body contorted to an aerodynamically improbable wolf-like stance before I let myself run like the predator I needed to become for that sinister task I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform without losing my sanity over it.

The psychosomatic effects never stopped afflicting me and every step was grief, but I had the strength to keep on moving in me; where I was getting it from, I had not the faintest clue. And even without Kouma I could have found out on my own exactly where the egomaniac monster would hide and that was where I was heading. The room in the school he’d claim was made for him. The room that belonged to a club that was no longer.

The one with a plaque that had ‘d.m.c.’, the initials of both his birth name and our club, written on it.

An unpleasant coincidence, very much like me getting there and realizing the plaque was no longer there. He saw it, knew I’d look for it and probably took it somewhere else in the building to make sure I’d follow him.

Which I would instantly if I didn’t have to get Megumi out of my way for her own good.

“Bro, what the heck is going on? When that Kouma girl called I thought she was going to chew my… but yeah, she just wanted me to come here and meet you. She said you needed help.” No, Megumi, Kouma wanted you to delay or stop me. “What can I do?” 

Kouma knew it was too dangerous for Megumi to come along. Of all of us Megumi was, against all odds when it came to looks, the most ‘normal’ and defenseless one: even without powers, Akane was paranoid and sneaky enough to be dangerous. What could Megumi do, really? Annoy the guy with bass music she didn’t use the correct nomenclature for? It was just electro house, for Heaven’s sake: adding wobble bass and random samples does not change the genre.

“That’s right, I need your help.” Denying it would only make it harder for me. “Do you still have that golden paper clip?” 
“Wait, dude, that was months ago.” 
“Do you?” 

She quickly searched her bag and it didn’t surprise me that someone as obsessed with oddities (because even though the story about her eyes is probably true, it’s obvious she developed a taste for the weird over the years) would keep an object like that around.

“Here; what are you going to do, pick a lock?” 
“Kind of. Give me your phone too. Don’t have the time to explain.” Cutting her way of communication with Kouma would help me avoid undesirable surprise, but even when she handed me the phone I made sure to check if it was set to vibrate and held it on my back so she wouldn’t hear or see it in case our common friend called. “Need you to make a fuss to get people distracted. Biggest you can without getting caught, ok? Do not get in trouble.” 
“Alright but-” 
“Megumi, now!” 

The colorful girl muttered something under her breath and stormed off clearly infuriated which was expected and understandable: I knew how she hated being ordered but I also knew I needed her to be safe. While I could be sure she was not to take this to heart in the long run, it didn’t make the task any more pleasant. If being an adult meant knowing when to do what you must rather than what you want to, I had been an adult for quite a while and it was absolutely nothing special.

I knew what I had to do then so I reactivated The Darkest to remain as concealed as I could.

As I began to run through the building’s floors looking for the plaque, since finding would probably lead to finding the maniac who took it, I fell the phone vibrating and the moment I saw the name on the screen I pressed the ‘end call’ button to make sure Kouma would know she couldn’t reach Megumi even if she wanted to. Next, I looked at the on-screen clock and decided to do my best to reach Ryo by calling her the exact moment her next synchronized call from Death Drive disconnected to warn her in a way she would know it was really me instead of having Kouma act as an impersonator through text without wasting too much time and gathering unneeded attention not to avoid ruining the plan but to keep the farce to Kouma.

After a disturbing moment of rising desperation the time her line would become free finally came.

The phone in my hand vibrated again as I tried to call Shiina Ryo, but it was Akane this time; the moment I was about to punch ‘end call’ I heard the beep on my Bluetooth ear device and from then on I only had one thing in my mind. 

Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. 

Like a mantra it resonated in me as I saw through her improvisation, once again, derivative; as used in an episode of a certain American television show with a conman as a main character, her tactic now was to stop me from reaching Ryo by cluttering my available phone lines. Most if not all modern phones have the poorly thought, albeit occasionally useful, custom of just making calls pop-out on screen even when you’re doing something else, like dialing a number. The problem, at least in my case, lies in the fact I could not block these calls even if I knew how to in this phone specifically because of the nature of this attack. At that point I could not tell whether she was using both hands to control the phones or tricked Akane into desperately calling Megumi out of concern with emotional blackmail of some sort.

My greatest fear, however, was that Kouma would see an even simpler solution.

Since I had Megumi’s phone, which I was sure Kouma knew by now, she assumed it was in her best interest to clutter both lines with calls I wouldn’t pick up. It was wrong of her to think so and the reason why is that, considering how badly the ‘plan’ had failed and was pointless at this point whether she was an ally to Death Drive or not, she could just go and instead call Ryo, who would pick up promptly. It would make her unreachable to me by any means that weren’t text, and even so it could be said Death Drive took control of the phone lines I had in my possession or had some fake message software or similar. It would make her worry but would keep her under Kouma’s domain.

I needed to save her.

My mind was splitting into several sections as I kept running around the building looking for the plaque and fending off Kouma and Akane’s calls while trying to connect with Ryo until the moment I came across the two of my targets at once: at the same time I found the right door I also heard Ryo’s voice through the earpiece.

“Hello?” 

There was so much I needed to say, but I didn’t have the time. The enemy that held Reikoku-sensei hostage was in front of me and for all I knew she was dying a little more every second I wasted; on the other hand, Kouma was bound to look for Ryo or me and my main concern was that Ryo wouldn’t take me seriously and walk straight into whatever trap Kouma Yon laid, whether it was for just me or not.

''What if Ryo is involved in this scheme too?''

“…” 
“Hello?” She tried again. “Who is this?” 

…isn’t it obvious? Then I’ll gladly die by her hands.

“Abort mission. Stay away from Kouma. Hide now.” 
“Shin-tsu. It is really you.” 

Savvy or not, to get to that extent she probably got text messages already.

“Trust me.” 

Considering whom I was, that sentence sounded absolutely ridiculous. I was a con, a lying demon, a manipulator, a trickster, the last person you should trust especially when on the other side of the fence you have a friend you grew with, who has been there for you when you were sick, who had always loved you one way or another; I was just the other person, the guy from the internet, a glorified stranger who was probably faking it whenever the two of you would talk about any subject and had matching views. I was no one.

“I will.” 

I could feel my heart beat everywhere in my body. Sure, Ryo could have said that and then betray me: I wouldn’t blame her. She made me happy at that time, like I really belonged somewhere. Like I finally had someone even if I had nothing else I could truly call mine.

I felt loved.

So I hung up, held Ayaka’s knife by the blade with my right hand and got myself ready to open the door and throw it at Death Drive giving priority to the head but would be okay with settling for the heart. Due to my own issues, I would probably lose my mind the moment I saw someone be killed by my own hands and, in case I ever did, would probably wake up in a hospital only to be either sent back to the Koukishin clan or a juvenile council if grandpa was finally done trying to give me chances to actually live my life the way I want. Couldn’t say I had no regrets, but it was beyond the point.

“Here goes nothing.”

I slammed the door open with my left arm and walked in the classroom ready to give up my sanity to kill a man who murdered many. I was not, however, ready to see my teacher on a chair covered in irregularly placed barbed wire and something metallic on her head that even before full comprehension made me lose hope and the ground under my feet. When faced with her body tainted in red I realized the anti-flames were gone along with my concentration and whatever resistance to gravity my body could have by standing up.

My knees faltered and I felt to the floor as the bastard laughed.

“Nyahahaha~~!” 

In front of me, trepanation; her perforated cranium still had the drill he used in it. Blood everywhere and it was hard to pinpoint where the dried ended and the fresh began. She remained a perfect portrait of still-life, too beautiful in her peaceful sleep that I could only imagine would be eternal.

We were too late to save her to begin with.

His sadistic laughter seemed to echo inside my brain again and again in a multitude of hellish undecipherable noise. Chalk dust floated visibly because of the light coming across the window. I could not move once again. Insanity rose. One more person died because of me. As I saw Reikoku-sensei’s body I remembered Kouma’s words once again: ‘What if you can’t save her?’ she said regarding Ryo, but the one needing to be saved was someone else. And I failed her. I failed them all and above that I failed myself. 

Reikoku-sensei was serious'''ly injured'''. 

My legs trembled, the knife in my hand wavered, I as a whole collapsed.

“…” 

The murderer tilted his poorly-shaven head while grinning, looking just as much as a half-Japanese Nosferatu as he did one year ago.

“Hey, you’re cross-dressing again! Is it a hobby of yours I didn’t hear of or something?” He said, regarding the time when he chased after Shiina Ryo. “Will we ever meet with you in male clothing?” 
“…” 
“What’s the matter, where are your usual snarky retorts? Cat ate your tongue? The so called ‘greatest of all liars’ can’t handle a little manslaughter?” 
“…” 
“Right, you can’t just kill another person: your little Chinese friend was kind enough to give me the information for free, along with where you were now. She must really, really hate you; can’t blame her, so do I. But to think you’d be stupid enough to tell your location to someone who feels this way about you… Is this all penance to you? You think getting killed will erase the sins you committed? How many lives do you think you ruined so far, you bloody fool? How many times do you think you need to die to make up for it?” 
“…” 
“Me, I’m a criminal: I kill for money or vengeance and it set me aside from modern society because our values differ. My victims, however, are all done with. With my methods, it usually happens while they are already buried so they have time to reflect and despair over what brought them there because I never in my whole life did it without having a reason to, although whether you’d call it a good reason or not is up to debate. They wake up with no hope and I’m sure that after the screaming and trying to claw their way out of it like in the movies they just calm down and realize their mistake. After all, what is a coffin other than a confessional you stay in for a long time?” 
“…” 
“But you, you won’t change despite knowing how bad you are. You really think you are the hero despite all you’ve done to so many; was it just me, I’d be perfectly okay with just killing you and be done with it. When it’s personal I tend to do things quicker because, you see, I don’t get paid extra. I have no illusions over the matter of what I do being evil, but to think that despite your actions you’d walk away unharmed because of your family’s influence while I, a plebeian, would rot in jail for what anyone with a brain would consider smaller penalties... this is what is wrong with this country, no, this world. I know you can be a bastard when you want to, but it was just because of your family. And no, it is not fear I have of you: I despise you as a fellow human. If the rumors are to be believed, you are the most disgusting creature in existence.” 
“…” 
“Well, I’m no hero, but since no one stepped up a scum like me has to do the job. You and your little girlfriend messed with the wrong person because I have no problem putting my life on the line just to set things right according to my standards and while I have the power, my word is the law. She ruined her life the day she crossed my path. You ruined your life the day you crossed my path. The two of you will pay and under these circumstances, I’ll give you special treatment. Be grateful.” 
“…” 
“I will dismember, no, that would be too good for you; what I’m going to do first is render your arms and legs useless surgically so you can feel them and know they are there but not be able to move them. Then I’m going to find Ryo and take the two of you to a room with only a clock covered in duct tape so you will hear it tick but never know the time, and do you know what I’ll do next? Hurt her in every way I can while you watch, and boy, you will watch all of it even if I have to shove caffeine down your throat, cut your eyelids and fill the room with mirrors so you can’t close your eyes or look away. Other than making you a cripple, I won’t lay a finger on you; I’ll give her everything I prepared for both her and for you, including acts that will put me in a different class of criminals.” 
“…” 
“Then, when I break her mind, only then I will give her the chance of killing you for her freedom: the you who watched her pain but didn’t move a finger to help her, the one who is at fault for her suffering this much for countless days. The death she would have gotten if she was alone when she messed with me would have been way cleaner if you weren’t around, and you can be sure I’ll let her know that. It is all on you.” 
“…” 

It was like every little word that flew out of his mouth was handcrafted to make me furious and bring the worst of me to the surface.

“And I win either way, as the disfigured Shiina Ryo marches towards you: if she kills herself you won’t be able to bear with the guilt, and if you are the one who is killed well, then I can just shoot her in the legs before I aim for the face. She did annoy me, so there’s absolutely no way I’ll let her walk away from this just because she cooperated: as everyone in the criminal side, I believe in reduction of penalty only when it applies to me not being behind bars. Those who were wronged know.” 
“…” 

Letting him talk as I recovered from the shock was a good idea. In a few seconds I would get up and end this once and for all. He couldn’t match me in close combat, especially with The Darkest on me. The environment was favorable. He didn’t bring a gun or such, while I had a room full of weapons even if you ignore Ayaka’s knife. The chairs, the chalk, the floor, the desks, the windows, the curtains, the wood corners, the walls, Megumi’s golden paperclip, cell phones, hair extensions barbed wire, Reikoku’s body, my own body, The Darkest, oxygen, carbon, gravity, the world and everything in it I could reach for: humans saw most of them as objects, persons or immaterial concepts, but when I was like that they were all tools and weapons and all mine on top of that. It would not be a fight: I hated the idea of fights deep down. It would be one-sided murder and I would make it happen even if I had to use my beloved teacher’s corpse as a human-sized club to beat him to a pulp.

If the room was ‘all weapons’ there was only one target to destroy.

“I won’t let you forget it’s all because of y-” 

A brick came flying, piercing through the window and landed along with shards of glass right between Death Drive and me, intrusively coming from the side very much like a ball in a foosball table. Ironic, as I felt the game was set a long time ago.

I looked out the freshly-made hole in the glass window and saw the not-so-distant sniper hanging from a tree, raising her fist against the sky like the world’s most accomplished pitcher and I knew exactly what Megumi could do.

The unpredictable action took us both by surprise and distracted the maniac for long enough to someone I knew to come inside the room through the door, crouch by my side, run, step on a chair and then a table, kick it rather than merely jump, propel herself like a falling star and reach the killer with the speed of lightning and an unidentified object in her left hand that made my gaze go to the floor searching for the knife I dropped.

When I heard the fizz I understood why Kouma had a second phone and the violent convulsion Death Drive had when it landed on the side of his neck.

The model was unknown to me but not the concept so it was easy to recognize an electroshock weapon (also known as ‘stun gun’) disguised as a mobile device. One could argue she was not using it to its original purpose, or at least the one the fabricant claims is the ''raison d’être'' in order to avoid federal eyes: to me it was absolutely obvious she did not buy the object for self-defense. Hell, she knew martial arts well enough for that purpose; this was another weapon of hers, which concerned me even more as I wondered about the effects of electricity on the foe that was now twitching on the ground.

He had a pacemaker.

“Rest assured, Shin-tsu, I read studies on this: pacemakers don’t seem to be affected by stun guns. It amazes me how deep your personal issues go, to worry about the life of someone who performed trepanation on your beloved teacher even though you were considering sacrificing your mind in order to kill him yourself.” Reading my mind not for the first time that day, Kouma Yon looked at me and spoke carelessly. “I told you I would save you. I just didn’t tell you it would be from the killing instinct within yourself and the consequences it would have on you because of your childhood trauma.” 
“…she’s dead.” 
“No, his ability is very similar to thanatosis: it’s slightly more complicated than I am currently willing to explain but he basically feigns death as in ‘playing possum’, his or someone else’s as long as they are at touch range. Not entirely unexpected, considering his history and even his Freudian nickname. Based on animals that use the technique I can see a few possible defensive and offensive applications for it, which apparently he couldn’t. Such a waste of potential is unforgivable; what other creatures could do with that skill is left to imagination. According to you, I have absolutely none, but even I can comprehend a naturally passive-aggressive predator would benefit greatly from the possibility of being able to both mimicry and render the prey defenseless.” 
“Kouma, listen to me. She’s been out of his touch range for a moment now.” It was ridiculous how quickly I could find myself pressured rather than merely willing to get others out of denial when I didn’t have the strength to do anything for my own life. “She’s dead.” 

I felt absolutely ridiculous. The boundary of not being able to withstand the sight of murder, despite of being strong enough to incapacitate me immediately and for days on its own, could easily be overcome by the craving to save others? No, not even save; just wanting to get Kouma out of denial was enough, but it shouldn’t be. Was this what my late teacher was talking about, on the whole Messiah complex topic? Morals, traumas and stigmas could be just thrown away amidst the worst conflict to avoid having someone get hurt on a much smaller scale than I was?

At some point I became everyone’s peon.

“She’ll wake up. Poison dripping off the small needles that he materialized on his fingertips is how he did it, which is more realistic and understandable than applying hallucinatory effects to a paper card. It should be off her system soon so don-” Kouma’s speech was interrupted by a single cry from the woman I assumed was dead, followed by feverish shivering that worried me greatly because the screw was still inside her head and could damage her further if she moved too much. The kung fu fighting fashionista just looked at my teacher who stopped altogether to move but still breathed loudly enough to reassure me of the fact she remained alive. “There we go. That should stir up anyone nearby so we can count on some more police and hospital calls, which shall be beneficial to us.” 

Death Drive started getting up.

“Ju…just who are you?” 
“I see you know Shin-tsu and Ryo, but we haven’t been introduced yet: within my boundary I am the god of possibilities.” Her eyes were expressionless but at that moment she emanated a force so overwhelming I felt my legs shake. Kouma really was something else. “My name is Kouma Yon and more important than Kung Fu, I know Psychology.” 
“And who cares? You got in my way too, so you’re dead no-” 
“I also know you are trying to bait KEN into killing you over what, soon after doing it, he’d realize out was nothing. The moment when this ability of yours becomes no more a disability has come, for unlike the other times you used it to coerce someone into something the third element knows how the magician’s hat trick works. This was meant to be a masterpiece, wasn’t it? To fool the lying demon who caught you in a way he could never get back at you even if there was a way he would recover from needlessly killing a human being once more. A sick joke funny only to yourself, right? You could not expect anyone to see through this, right? But now he knows too much for it to work. He might not be able to see the whole picture but he won’t kill you now and that’s all you wanted of him in the end. Even I have a considerably bigger chance of getting killed by him right now than you do.” 
“…how do you know all that?” 

She took a deep breath.

“Well planned time travel and analytic skills alone. You could have done it: you actually made it the first time and it got him insane just like you wanted to. In the first timeline, he almost killed me after going berserk and that was how I learned about my own power. You were going to win against him but you didn’t. You lost once again: your will is meaningless because like I said, I am god within these boundaries. Fighting me is futile, I will defeat you every time and cheat whenever you get close to win. Every movement and idea of yours are mine. So try me. Come at me if you think you’re fast enough to attack before I travel back in time once again with the information of the precise kind of blow you will try to land or cunning trick you’ll play, other than how to get to it by triggering all the right flags once again. At this point, I am invincible. You think you’re going to mess up with the mind of my favorite test subject?” Kouma Yon gave him her grimmest grin. “Not on my watch.” 

Death Drive was stunned and he was not the only one.

“You… you little piece of… you ruined everything, goddamn bi-GAAARGH” 

Just like that, Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier, also known by the self-imposed nickname of Death Drive, died of a heart attack in front of our eyes. Which was ridiculous and ironic but also definitive and undeniable.

Therefore I crashed for good.

In a moment that could easily have lasted forever in my altered perception I stood there not doing a thing until Kouma set my body in movement forcefully. She slapped me across the face so fast I took a moment to comprehend what exactly had happened and as I fell to the floor she ran back to Reikoku-sensei’s side in order to provide her primary care.

Her attention did not waver as she lectured me.

“Cut it out. You cannot blame yourself for this: it’s not your fault that he followed you here and attacked us, and it’s not your fault he died. You didn’t do this. However, if you waste our chance of saving this woman because of that trauma of yours instead of manning up and taking care of an innocent person who has done nothing but try and reach out for you when you were down, in my eyes and yours you will be a murderer.” Kouma Yon finally managed to stop or at least limit the hemorrhage a good 4 seconds after she was done talking. Her eyes were serious and tender simultaneously, raw and alive as an animal’s; whether it was my altered perception or her own growth, I couldn’t tell. “So don’t give in, Shin-tsu. Stay with me. I need you.” 

And there it was: the line before the bass drop, the growl before the breakdown. A conman’s hook.

I bit and licked my inferior lip hurting it once more and felt the taste of blood acting not for the first time as a reality check for me.

“…tell me what I have to do next.” 

Kouma’s confusion didn’t show in her face but in her taking five seconds to give me a reply.

“I beg your pardon?” 
“You need me to do what? You’re talking to me in simpler terms like you learned to do to connect with me whenever you want me to do something for you, whether it’s answering questions about my psyche or morals or something else. I don’t care whether I’m an experiment to you at this point, just tell me what you want or leave me alone.” 
“This isn’t about you.” 
“I said I don’t care about your excuses right now, save them. You saw a void I can fill somewhere and now you want me to get up and fix something for you. Spill it.” 

I grabbed Ayaka’s knife and got up.

“I never meant to hurt you.” 
“Doesn’t matter; just tell me what I have to do.” 

Walking towards the girl enveloped by the newborn sunset that came through the crack she made in the glass.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” 
“Tell me what you want.” 

When she looked me with her once again cold eyes I clenched my fist tighter on the weapon’s handle by reflex.

“I really love you.” 

The last straw she needed to pull.

“Say that one more time and I’ll kill myself in front of your eyes. I’m tired of being told that and then be left alone: no more. Is this what you wanted from the start? Was this part of your plan, you godforsaken beast? Because if yes, go on, I dare you. Hell, I want you to do it. I’m right on the edge here. It’s all on you, girl.” Knife against my throat, my breathing so hard I felt my chest tremble as air moved and emptied my lungs like life was already leaving me every second. I trembled like I was falling apart and was bound to cut myself deep even before she had the time to say anything if I kept unstable like that. “Say it, I beg of you. Give me one last reason. End me.” 

Patiently I waited for her to give me my final command.

“I’m sorry.” 
“…” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m sorry you feel this way.” 
“But not for acting the way you did, do or will do. Which implies you honestly believe you are not in the wrong. And I know you for a fact don’t care about good or evil, but rather about but concepts. Damn.” Gently as I could I lowered the weapon to waist level. The time for my melodramatic act was over as I assured the fashionista was still the creature I thought her to be. It made me aware it was serious business we were dealing with or she would not have gone so far, as it would be too bothersome to do so for the world’s laziest multi-talented being. "Sometimes, just sometimes, I really hate you, Kouma Yon.” 
“Thankfully, just sometimes. I can live with that in mind, like I shall do regarding the fact you would have done it if I said ‘it’ again yet won’t do it now just because I just ruined the moment for you. Double subversion would feel less gratifying to you.” 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“For such a long-time liar, sometimes it feels like you’re not even putting enough effort in it. You too are a disappointment.” 
“Did you learn my craft yet? My so-called ‘art’?” 
“There is no such thing as ‘art’, just ‘art admirers’. And yes.” She nodded as if words were not enough to express the depth of comprehension she achieved. “You can stop pretending you’re not shaken up inside now.” 
“Thank you.” My hands finally dropped the knife. 

I knew I was way too mentally exhausted to make decisions when it got to the point I considered relying on Kouma Yon of all creatures as a moral compass. But when life gives you lemons and they are deathly sour…

“No need to play that role in front of you, good.” The stern look on her face showed no approval, however. “As the few paramedics tried to save me in the first timeline, just before I lost consciousness, I heard a report about the situation on an exploded inter-city bus through their radios: it was supposed to happen around 5 minutes from now, and there were heavy suspicions of terrorism. We won’t get the attention and primary care we need if this happens, and the lack of media coverage for this story might lead to further questioning too. I need you to stop the bomber on the inter-city bus while I focus on keeping Reikoku-sensei alive and setting up the scene to make this look like an isolated incident: having you around could ruin the latter up too.” 

Then it hit me.

“You were going to just let those people die if we managed to stop Death Drive before he caught Reikoku-sensei.” 
“Not now, Shin-tsu. I have priorities and so should you.” 

More lives at stake and now that I knew about it, it was on me. She set me up real good, she did not know for sure I would not be able to reject it yet she bet all her chips on me going out and doing it. I hated myself for not being able to prove whatever unrealistic expectations she had of me wrong, for not being capable to let her down.

Still, I ran.

Fast as I could I advanced, much faster than I could before the Shugoshin was in me but it did not feel fast enough to me: no matter how much I tried, I no longer could bend space and time on command. The Darkest did not need to explain it to me, as I realized how give-and-take the situation was on my own; in exchange for more power I sacrificed potential and there was no easy way to change it back again.

As I ran towards the great fence that separated the eastern area from outer buildings I recognized something that made me stop for a while. Near a small, cabin-like janitor room, there were cameras were different than the ones you saw at schools and hospitals and much more akin to the ones you’d see in secret spy movies: that model was activated by heat, so I could use my skill to pass through unnoticed if I used that area, which would help in case I needed an alibi in the future for I could just say I was still at school while some sort of disaster happened, that is, if I failed.

Awfully convenient, except it was a nightmare in disguise of saving throw.

Pondering over all I knew regarding Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan, it was obvious where she stored that dreadful item of hers. I wanted to scream at myself and say it could not be, but it was just too likely to deny it no matter how high were the regards I had her in. To even consider she’d possibly keep something like that near her students made me severely nauseous; I was actually glad I had only found out about it because otherwise chances were I would have doubts about going so far for the sake of saving her life.

When I found myself standing up on the top of wall close enough to reach the one pertaining to the next building I got my body ready for jumping higher and climbing because for once during that day I knew exactly what I needed to do to reach my goal.

I was going for ''Parkour'', the art of not just moving around obstacles but use them to your benefit for maximum efficiency. Critical thinking was a must. A wall was not there to block my way, just to be my stepping stone: it was all terrain, a world made purely of it. No more limits: it was time for me to stop thinking of common, linear paths to walk in and start running in vectors.

“''Traceur'', on.” 

A jump into nothingness that ended abruptly when my fingertips touched the walls and from that moment on I was one with everything; a single layer of the flames enveloping my hands and foot, so thin it was not much more than pitch black contour wavering like ink but never leaving for real. It made me feel like I was moving on vacuum, which was probably not far from the truth.

By both using it and deactivating it I alternatively propelled and glued myself on the terrain composed of all things over the houses and buildings of that developing town. At the apex of the nearby constructions of concrete picking the ones closer to touch the skies in altitude in order to avoid being seen I moved but instead of feeling as a hunter I was free like an unparalleled, unleashed beast albeit constrained by the time limit: I was simultaneously carefree and worried sick; I loved being alive and I hated myself; I was a being and I was not.

During that moment I got the same impression I had during the fight against Ryo’s Shugoshin, that it all had been preparation for this. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling quite a lot… every little thing feels like build-up to something else, and it’s supposed to be huge.

Very much like the strength of the wind blowing my skirt.

== Part 4 ==

My heart could not decide if it wanted to race or stop fully as the bus was doing in order to pick up more passengers.

Breathe.

The bus was more crowded than I assumed it would be due to it not being a weekday and all, but I guess even in smaller cities people go around and have fun. They didn't consider the risk of being inside a vehicle that would blow up and kill them all due to a sudden terrorist attack; not everyone is like Akane.

Looking at the window I watched both the inside and outside of the car for movement while the back door released a bickering couple who would probably get closer if they realized they averted a disaster if I failed to stop the bomber and the front door welcomed anyone who would walk in join those who died in the first timeline and were still at risk in this one.

Of those waiting for a bus I saw some making room for a soon-to-be passenger and the moment I heard the door close I knew there was no coming back.

Breathe.

I recognized the only person who got in the bus within milliseconds despite the trucker hat, jeans jacket and hiker backpack (which I could only assume was her definition of discrete disguise) because it was the one who hated me the most. Lang Shou seemed considerably more than just slightly distressed when she saw me looking at her while dressed in drag. I too was shaken up inside as it was the usual whenever I saw her, which I hadn’t in a while.

Her right eye twitched.

“Pervert!” 

She said in Cantonese, and if I knew her it was probably only to scan if there were any speakers of the language in the bus; if that was the case, they’d probably just start screaming or tackle me. Yes, because of that and not because I was cross-dressing on a bus.

Nothing happened, so I did the obvious.

“Pervert!” I replied to her enthusiastically as if the word was a greeting, and then thought about what addendum in Japanese I’d have to put together with that to make it convincing enough. “It’s nice to see you again, Lang Shou.” 

While her face was clearly a painting of annoyance, the fact she sit down by my side when there were other free places in the bus finished the job of reassuring the passengers that we were the right sort of acquaintances.

Even though we were not.

“…how did you know?” 
“I have my sources. You seem to be everyone else’s.” 

On usual situations I would not be so harsh with her but I was seriously ticked off by the result of her actions.

“There’s nothing wrong with that I do, just means to an end.” 

Irresponsible brat.

“I hope you meant Death Drive’s, because your plan only led to him passing away.” 
“Wouldn’t expect less of you.” Did my best to keep myself from showing emotions when she said that, can’t tell if I succeeded. “But I guess he was pretty useless, failing like that despite being a little more than mildly famous.” 
“You really don’t know anything about this business: an assassin’s job is to be concealed, so whenever someone’s name is out there for people like you to hear it means he might be a good killer but a lousy professional.” 

Scorn was shining clear as day on her face.

“You’d know, wouldn’t you? Murderer.” 
“…” 

There wasn’t much I could say in reply to that.

“What’s the matter, murderer? Is it bad that I call you that, murderer?” 
“…stop.” 
“Or what, will you kill me too?” 
“…” 
“Oh, the little murderer got depressed, boo hoo.” It was not a very big step, from tomboy to bully. “Don’t give me those sad puppy eyes. Even now, you still look like a Shih Tzu dog.” 

Oh, this sure brings back memories: so that’s where I got the nickname from, then. Not that I’ll ever correct the mistake, would be kind of embarrassing after all. I’ll remain using the ‘Shin-tsu, out of two of the same kanji’ excuse. Better than letting it be known so Kouma can refer to me as ‘Puppy-kun’.

I had more urgent topics to address, too.

“So at the end of the day you’d kill yourself to divert the paramedics’ attention but not explode now that you’re here with me? When you could hurt me and me alone?” 
“Hurt you? By killing you? Even now you try to trick me, you lying demon? I know very well that would be bliss, especially compared to what you did to me. You don’t deserve that: I’ll take it out on the ones near you until you are a walking pile of nerves surrounded by corpses you watched growing cold. I will break your mind and heart and I won’t lay a finger on you to kill because I want you to do it yourself to atone for what you did. It will never be enough, the suffering. Whatever you build, I’ll crush it. Forever and always, until you finish what you started and kill me or decide to suicide. Just be aware of this: as long as I am alive you don’t get to live a happy life after what you’ve done, and I’ll make sure of that.” 

That was when I approached her, hugged her tight and released hot breath down her neck to make her shiver, with a superior level of success than I expected to achieve. It was obvious to me she was almost melting as experience dictated. Good to know some things never change.

I held her hand and rested my forehead against hers, looking the girl in the eyes.

“Lang Shou, I am sorry. I can’t take back what I did and God knows I would if I could but you need to realize you won’t gain anything from doing this. This isn’t you, so stop while you can. Please. I don’t want you to suffer a second longer.” My hands ran down her backpack but still delivered the pressure to her body like I wanted them to. Her shivers were strong enough to make me wonder if I had done something to give her a seizure. “I care about you. Either go back to China to your parents or stay here with me; things are never going to be the same, but I can give you a place you can call ‘home’. I am still your friend.” 

Furious, she pushed me away, slapped me and got up but didn’t leave before delivering a dramatic one-liner.

“I hate you.” 

Not surprised: it was the second time I heard that one on that day and she made sure to say it in Japanese before storming off the bus the moment it stopped, but at the very least I did not end up receiving the mother of all beatings from a visually warped version of her in dreamland. Either way, I already had gotten what I needed to.

Personally, I hated pickpocketing. It wasn’t as thrilling as some might assume it could be, because it was more a case of ‘either you know the trick or not’; no room for cunning talk or similar when it comes to the actual thing, just before and after and it kind of beat the point of going unnoticed. It was no fun but as any adult can tell you, life is not always doing what you like to do.

So I stole both the bomb and the detonator from her backpack and now I had to disassemble the bomb before she could realize I did it because she could notice they were missing and try to meet me on the next stop.

Frankly, that was the easier part of the day: Lang Shou was an amateur whose only talent seemed to be getting into trouble still. Her bomb was pretty crude looking (which helped me because anyone who saw it would dismiss it as a toy and not panic) and was built quite poorly on top of that. The detonator was short distance-only and unrelated to the bomb, which would go off around two stops from where she dropped, so one possibility is that she would have tried to blow somewhere else up just in case if I hadn’t been a dirty thief and taken both the red herring detonator and the silly-looking bomb. I have to grant her that she did better than usual in that particular aspect but I could only guess whether it was because she wanted to go down along with everyone or the limit of her design and engineering skills: for all I knew she could have mixed two projects she got in books up.

Upon the realization I wasn’t even followed back home I felt lie I could no longer hide my disappointment and let the post-traumatic stress kick in. I wanted to feel despair and rage and get the overwhelming, exhilerating depression out of my mind even if it meant crying and throwing up for days until I got hallucinations due to the deprivation of water and nutrients. I needed to scream at the heart of the world because I could tell I had it in me.

It never came despite the copious amounts of build-up.

Like every single thing that ever happened, the events of that day were ‘proven’ anti-climatic and dull when the hindsight bias was applied; the Historian’s Fallacy made everything obvious and absolutely ridiculous to say the least, and to pinpoint the truth by hypothesizing after the results were known was nearly impossible because most things aside, the simple presence of time travel in a case blurs the lines between cause and effect beyond recognition. Still, one could say that above ‘good’ or ‘bad’, Kouma did ‘right’: the definition of the latter being up to debate. Now, Lang Shou…

...she killed me inside a little more.

It was like a bad joke; to think someone so incapable and inexperienced was willing to try and cause so much damage to so many over nothing, or at the very least nothing that had to do anything with them.

It was a bad joke because it was the exact same with me.

The news reports a week from that day were still all about how a high school girl from a small-to-medium sized town saved her teacher’s life using only a mobile phone with internet access and a handbag’s contents, and it didn’t take them long to dig her up and realize she was the same child prodigy who won some art prizes a few years ago. Instant sub-celebrity; blogs spawned; people would talk to her whenever she walked down the street.

The biggest hospital in the nearby city, where Reikoku-sensei was immediately admitted to and is being kept until she wakes up from her comatose state, even offered Kouma a fully paid scholarship on a college above average and future internship may she choose Medicine as her career. I immediately assumed she was going to accept it for all the wrong reasons, and I could not blame her for that because I could easily see myself doing the same.

That maiden was too a knight and she was 『Ryo’s』. 

== Part 5 ==

“Come in.” 
“Excuse me.” I said, dodging something on the ground that was probably an elaborate trap her cat assembled to keep strangers out. 

As soon as I entered Ryo’s apartment the realization dawned on me; before seeing the image with my own eyes it sounded just like a story from a TV show or a book. It was too surreal for me to accept it as a fact at once, even to someone who is used to the unusual such as me. Still, one could easily tell just from seeing the way the place was a complete mess Ryo’s story matched the environment.

Shiina Ryo’s mother left her house.

The reasons are irrelevant to me because whether it was depression or something else the fact her daughter was left behind remains unchanged. I should not judge without having all information on a subject, but it’s pretty obvious to me it was a mistake and so should be to anyone with a drop of common sense.

You don’t walk away on your teenage daughter.

People her… our age are not expected to live by themselves with no support, in good medical condition or not. Even with the exceptionally good amount of money my family deposits every two weeks I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be okay if I didn’t have the support of Reikoku-sensei, Kouma and Ryo. It takes more than financial stability to make a stable person.

From a mathematician’s point of view it might sound unreasonable but there is another factor, something else we need to function other than the strictly necessary physical resources; I’m not sure if it’s human contact or anything like that, but I’m aware of the fact I wouldn’t be able to live a complete life without their support. Then again, maybe I’m wrong and too young to deal with those matters right now. My best friend is living a situation similar in theory yet completely different in intensity.

I am fully aware of the fact I am not, however, old and numb by apathy enough to be able to ignore the painful silence in this house and just live my life as if it wasn’t my problem.

Both out of curiosity and concern I opened her refrigerator to find only half-empty bottles of water, a piece of fruit so old I cannot recognize which kind and cups of cheap instant ramen, which I presumed to have been her primary meal for the time she lived alone. My heart ached just from imagining Ryo working late on the nearby town to pay the bills her irresponsible mother (and that’s not judging but stating a fact) left for her along with the ones that would come every month, and then coming home to eat an unhealthy, poor excuse for a meal and sleep for a few instants before getting up to diligently go to school in order to avoid suspicious looks from people who love to gossip. With her health as it was she certainly could not afford to have such a routine.

At that moment I realized there are many people in the same situation as hers out there and a lot of people living under much worse conditions, yet what pains me the most is to find out there was someone so close to me living like that while I was completely unaware.

Some could see this as a very strong attribute of hers, to try and go this far without anyone’s help: I think that was selfish of her.

But who am I to blame her for not asking for help? I probably wasn’t even around when this started and even if she told this to Kouma Yon, chances are Kouma’s mother would have just reported this to Child Services or something like that because that is what a responsible law-abiding person should do, technically flawless but the results in practice are not the same you’d expect by following the theory, often much darker instead. Not only that: when I had my own problem in the past my first reaction was running away despite the fact Ryo was the first person I saw right after the whole thing happened so I don’t think I can easily be considered reliable and centered. She was probably too scared to even think, without anyone to help her.

In the end, aren’t we all?

“Shin-tsu, could you come here?” She said, in a low voice that could barely be heard reverberating in the apartment. “I think I’ve got everything I nee-” 

But her sentence was cut due to shock but the apparently fated silence was avoided by the fall of the box she had been holding onto, and it was definitely my fault. The reason for that reflex was my sudden movement in her direction and the subsequent action, holding her in my arms as what I imagine to a father embracing his children after they got hurt. Perhaps the strength I used was a little bit more than I intended, possibly because she was not the only one with parental issues.

“It’s okay, Ryo. You can let it out now. I'm here.” 

I expected and almost wished her to say one of her extremely long speeches full of data or have a retort that was both witty and innocent but her reply was awfully short, almost minimalist.

“…thank you.” 

And then she cried in a rather loud, impolite and tangibly honest manner for a while.

Later when Shiina Ryo decided she had cried enough to be able to stand it, Akane’s mother was sensible and drove us around without making many, if any questions. The path travelled by the van seemed not only melancholic but empty as if the only thing in the world who felt like talking was the delivery car’s motor that resonated soundly and accentuated the shades of grey present in every street.

When we were carrying the final boxes to my place I was approached by our hippie driver, who not as much as offered but forced me to accept a certain amount of cash out of her eco-friendly wallet I was pretty sure she could not simply spare. I tried again and again to say we would be fine because I had some extra money, but she made me take it out of kindness and care. Few would be able to go that far to help strangers these days, regardless of their beliefs and views of the world.

It was definitely not a question of trust, because she trusted us enough to give us money she worked hard to make but not enough to believe me when I said we had the financial situation under control. Sure, sometimes it’s hard to ask for help or even accept the kindness of semi-strangers.

Perhaps I am being biased as Kouma said I was once again, but her individual altruistic action made me consider a hypothesis I have long ignored: perhaps there is a chance mankind still has hope. I might be wrong and believing that might be a mistake, but that is a privilege the young are given.

Like this thing I’m doing.

Bringing a female friend to live with me might be a mistake, both of us being pretty broken as human beings, young and not having an adult to look after us in the house. Still, even if it turns out to be an error in the long run, I have to do it now and probably won’t regret a thing.

Not out of gratitude or romantic feelings but out of something I could not yet define and probably never will. There are things better off unnamed and unspoken.

…no, it’s too late for that.

Overlooking things on purpose and at command is an acquired skill used mostly to avoid red herrings and mind control. My version of it has saved my life a few times and probably got into someone else’s path many others. To live through life as if only my life matters and seeing others as either obstacles or peons is not the prettiest way of seeing this world but I’m sure there are worse ways. Not that it justifies every ugly action I might make to achieve what I wish for, but then again I never claimed to be a good or bad guy.

Thus I will help her out of egoism.

Because making her happy makes me happy, because knowing she suffers hurts me, because comforting her when she is sad soothes my heart as well. More than relate to, she understands me and vice-versa. I don’t even regret coming here, despite all the trouble we have been put through so far, because deep down I know I like the way Ryo and the others make me feel in general.

Thus, I will keep acting so their reactions will bounce back hard enough to generate reactions in me too. One way to look at this situation is to believe that’s how human relationships do work and thus I am not being wrong or a bad, just seeing this whole thing the wrong way because of my wicked, broken and rather cynical view of life, byproduct of years of inconstancy.

There is no way for me to see it like everything is so black-and-white simple; I am just not that optimistic.

Love, in any form, is a flawed concept in my opinion so I say let’s leave it at egoism, and at least for now my word is final; not because I can’t feel any love, but merely because I cannot bring myself to believe in it so easily. Not to say I deny its existence, but I can’t just believe it like you can’t trust a travelling vendor with magical beans smiling his face off. But then again, who’s to tell? Maybe it is an honest fellow...

I'm more than quick to run away but not one to know when to stay, thus I shall learn to balance between those two or get caught in another net. As long as I rely on others to save me things will never be okay, so I’ll let Time test Love and tell me the results before I make any deals I might regret.

== Part 6 ==

Obligatory time skip.

Every day I went to the hospital to visit Reikoku-sensei, hold her hand and read her the news or a novel even though the doctors told me, half-heartedly for it wasn’t in them to crush a highschooler’s apparent idealism, that her brain was far from operational at that point and it was very unlikely that she could receive any of the information, let alone recover.

The nurses were a lot nicer to me after it was clear I wasn’t romantically involved with her or anything, thinking I was some sort of angel-like student and I could see them tearing up whenever I gave them a bittersweet smile after a whole afternoon and twilight of being there and leaving for another inter-cities travel.

Sadly I felt a great amount of guilt despite knowing she was ready for an outcome even worse than this. It was my purgatory, to watch her alone. On a particular day, however, I went there with company. The three scheming students whose Pyrrhic victory resulted in her vegetative state: Kouma, the derivative polymath; Ryo, the splitting designer; and me, the vague executor.

Anomie, ambiguity and ambivalence sitting in a hospital room.

Without us asking like the last time she went out to buy us something, Kouma left with the promise of bringing three coffee cans. Instead of talking to Ryo immediately, I knew better than to trust the fashionista to just leave us alone.

My instincts were right.

I caught Kouma looking at us by using the many pieces of metal and glass present in the hospital as mirrors like Akane did and then something became painfully obvious to me. The reason why it was possible Kouma Yon would able to save me by moving her mind back in time just once without her lack of presence in the second timeline at the places she was in the first affecting the outcome, against all odds that exist in such a scenario is so simple and bland my mind just ignored automatically. A bias of mine.

She knew every little thing and every single move I’d make because she watched me from very close.

All.

<center>The.</center>

 Time. 

Honestly, I did not know what I should do in the light of such evidence and the reason was simple.

It was a lie of hers; whenever a con tells you it’s all over, doubt.

Kouma saying it was the first time she travelled back in time was absurd. No matter how good she was, she simply could not do it properly the first time. Not to that extent, no sir, she couldn’t. I knew she couldn’t create anything from scratch, so how could she come up with a plan like that in one day when it was hard to believe she would be able to do in a lifetime? Wasn’t it safe to assume her absolute lack of creativity was what got her ‘stuck’ with Ryo in the first place, too? The only logical explanation I could see was that her plan was a combination of several she has seen through the several timelines she has been in while searching for the best possible outcome.

Considering how things turned out, it wouldn’t surprise me in any way if even the flaws in the plan, in making me take the lead by telling me I shouldn’t, in having Reikoku-sensei harmed even were all just a well-done mix-and-match game for her. If the latter was true, the hypocrisy in having her there in the hospital room would be overwhelming and I was prone to reacting with violence...

…unless there was a good explanation to go so far as putting our teacher into a coma. After all, assuming she has gone several times back in time and this is the best scenario it goes without saying that for some reason the other ones must have been, at the very least in Kouma’s point of view, worse outcomes. She did see herself as a limited god beyond morals, so it was not much of a stretch, to assume she'd deliver a simultaneously preemptive and retroactive sentence as an all-knowing judge with the power to stop tragedies. What I needed to know was whether a tragedy for Kouma Yon was the same as a tragedy for all of us or if I was within range of a powerful enemy.

Either way I had a sure mode of testing it once and for all.

“Kouma, Ryo. Listen.” I said, going in for the kill; the stakes were high enough to ruin all that had been building up but I just wasn’t done with the game yet. “I have to tell you guys about Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan.” 

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The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Afterword

2012-10-14T04:05:22Z

Ryuno: Created page with "I’d like to greet you, dear readers. My pen name is Cyul, and this is the first time I appear on the scene under this pseudonym. It’s a honour to be able to have such a ..."

I’d like to greet you, dear readers.

My pen name is Cyul, and this is the first time I appear on the scene under this pseudonym.

It’s a honour to be able to have such a debut, working on amazing characters and beautiful setting. I still think that I’m unable to fully comprehend this great trio of protagonists, despite Ryuno’s words, but I hope that this work will be able to appease your thirst while you’re waiting for the third novel.

Speaking of which, this spin-off is something like a link between second novel and the third, foreshadowing some events in coming book. It would shed a light on Shin-tsu’s first meeting with Death Drive and partially tell you how relationships between Kouma Yon with Shin-tsu and Shiina Ryo were rebuilt, giving some new details about our characters.

And still, I believe that there are still more questions than answers.

What is this Underworld case?

Did Shi-tsu lie about his parents?

What was the painful memory which was mentioned by Kouma?

And so on.

By the way, did you notice the lack of Shiina Ryo’s appearances in this work? It was unintentional, because the original idea was to mix Shiina, Shin-tsu and Death Drive’s points of views in a beautiful piece of work.

It was a good initiative but I had only one problem.

Shiina Ryo’s true colors weren’t revealed.

I had no issue with centralizing the story on Kouma since I felt that I was similar to that derivative being. It was a pain to write down Shin-tsu’s parts but I had a help from original source. However, Shiina Ryo’s mind was a complete mystery to me.

And that was why I had chosen approach similar to the one showed in Baccano! only with telling the story from first person. And that was the reason why last chapter was bigger than first three.

Let me stop talking about details before I start ranting.

As I said before, this work is my first, and I am glad that I was able to collaborate with Ryuno. His advices were very helpful for me, and some of his words found their way to the spin-off due to my nature. I’m similar to Kouma, remember?

But I digress.

This year is memorable for me, being the time of my ‘first little victories’. And first finished work is one of the most important for me. It’s the sign that I’m able to finish something without dropping it half-way.

And so, let’s finish my little masterpiece on the major note.

I hope we will meet again.

Cyul.
The 29th of July, 2012.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 4 – Red Orchestra

2012-10-14T04:04:55Z

Ryuno: Created page with "== Part 1 – With you == I woke up. The Sun was still lying on the horizon so its rays couldn’t penetrate shutters hung before the window in my room. Recalling the sour lo..."

== Part 1 – With you ==
I woke up.

The Sun was still lying on the horizon so its rays couldn’t penetrate shutters hung before the window in my room. Recalling the sour look on Shin-tsu’s face when he was here for the first time, it was a painfully normal bedroom. Obviously, such interior could hardly exceed any expectations not having anything special.

It was a misconception based on idealism and subjectivity but I wasn’t willing to protest. In most cases, such debates only diverted the attention without giving anything useful in exchange. However, this morning was an exception because through these repetitions of the day I drew needed information. It was barely enough to form my conclusions but I had no more need in meaningless mind games. The prelude was over; the time for culmination of preparation stage had come.

I sat up, and then stood up on the floor. The process of washing the face, preparing needed clothes and adding make-up to finish the work was a ritual for noble women in Middle Age and still remained the sacred ground for some people obsessed with wish to fool aging. I wasn’t interested in pointless attempts to make things better than they were, for my assumption that beauty was a solely subjective criterion.

The mask of make-up and the shell of clothes can’t hide what you are. What an irony, taking into account the fact that these instruments of fashion were used for that very purpose.

With minimum of my efforts I finished adding mascara to my eyelashes. I took some time to choose my clothes for this series of events. On a side note, I wore different sets of clothes in every other timeline for little analysis of his reactions. Apparently, yellow color doesn’t make any difference in his reactions aside from changing the amount of saliva produced in his mouth. What type of food did he recall from his quick glance on my bag? It escaped me so I left it to his imagination even though such a choice slightly troubled me.

Picking up a white handbag this time, I went out.

The route to café was already familiar. Not noticing anything different on the streets, I walked past windows of the building in which my destination was, executing my little prank. A light push of the doors, a quick glance inside and a click of my phone’s camera let me record a little spectacle with Shin-tsu as a main and only actor.

“I’M IN DESPAIR! …Wait, what?”

He was effectively stupefied. I stopped the recording and, after making my way to his table, took a seat.

“Good morning, Shin-tsu. You’re early.”

“…”

In ominous silence, Shin-tsu sat down.

“So, let me tell you the reason why I called you last night-“

“Don’t act like nothing happened just now!”

“Well, I don’t intend to upload that scene on any site, don’t worry.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“And I’m not going to watch that little spectacle online every day.”

“Doesn’t it make your other statement a lie…? That’s a creepy joke, Kouma. Especially, when I take into account your clothes.”

“What’s wrong with them?”

“It’s not like I’m an expert of any sort in Japanese culture, but even I can say that you’ve chosen White Wind Lolita fashion today!”

“Do you imply that I’m a stalker if I specifically choose such clothes for a breakfast in anime-style maid café?”

“If you put it that way… Hey, it’s still abnormal.”

I thinly smiled and decided to change the topic.

“You asked me last night to accept three conditions, right?”

“Yes.” Shin-tsu nodded with a business look, immediately catching my change in tone.

“One of them was to find three ‘triggers’.”

“Found them already?”

“Otherwise I won’t be mentioning it.”

“Care to let me judge if you guessed it right?”

“I didn’t guess, I deduced.”

“Don’t be so picky with words even though you’re so obsessed with doing analyses of everything and anything in your vicinity. Alright, so what are these triggers according to your deduction?”

“First of all, don’t jump to conclusions.”

“Correct. I guess I went all paranoid in some timeline?”

“Sad but true.”

“I like that band but don’t steal the title of its song. Fans will be angered.”

“Second, don’t ask about your parents. At least, don’t ask more than needed for normal conversation without intruding your private life.”

“Precisely. And the last one?”

“Don’t try to find contradictions.”

“You’re right.” Shin-tsu awkwardly smiled. His eyes were looking at anything but my eyes.

“What are you worried about?”

He finally stared at my eyes.

“How many attempts it took from you to grasp the timing and to trace routes of staff and other clients?”

I lightly smiled.

“Just one.”

“You’re a monster even if you’re flabbergasted.” Shin-tsu muttered and looked away. “So, where I stopped at?”

== Part 2 – The Catalyst ==

When you live for too long in towns, your arrival to megalopolis always brings you a culture shock. Noise level in Tokyo compared to small Monreale is pretty high, and streets are tight-packed with by-standers and tourists. Tall skyscrapers leave you in awe, making you forget how to breathe, and colorful, bright billboards draw your curious gaze to them. You can’t help but look around in futile attempt to take in everything in your vicinity.

However, the magic of the moment didn’t manage to drown me in it for several reasons, none of which were pleasant, yet all of them were urgent and required my immediate attention. Deciding to solve problems in order dictated by rational way of thinking, I had got a taxi driver to drive me to Shibuya where I was at the moment trying to figure out in what direction my destination laid. It was incredibly easy to stray off the way in Tokyo.

“Where was that mark?” I muttered, fishing out my phone from pocket and activating GPS-navigator. Pulsating red point appeared on the map of Tokyo, and yellow lines showed the shortest way of reaching my destination. I could never express my fascination before science and its small miracles. A pity that even science had something it never would be able to explain.

''That’s what science fiction’s for.''

Unbelievably, you’re right.

Following the line, I slowly turned left from main street and found myself on the narrow road between rows of small buildings. A few dozens steps down the street led me to spacious brown building which could have blended with other houses with ease if not for big sign on its wall in both English and Japanese.

“SDA Tokyo Central Church, huh.” The difference between Monreale Cathedral and Tokyo Central Church was so big that I couldn’t believe my eyes. I never expected that architecture of modern city’s church would be so… modest, to say the least. No massive decorations, attracting public attention. No large and beautiful domes on its rooftop. No overwhelming atmosphere which was common when you stood in front of Churches in European cities. Was that the influence of Christian history in Japan?

With that question in mind, I walked to the door of church. I stretched out my hand towards it but I was forced to freeze on my spot as I felt a warm breath tickling my ear. A strong grip on my shoulder and the weight of the body leaned against my back cleared away all my doubts whether it was just a vivid hallucination. Damn these eccentric cops.

“Welcome to Tokyo, kid.” The voice came from behind me. I suppressed the urge to drive my elbow in the stomach of my interlocutor trying to regain my self-control. Keeping a pokerface never was my specialty or talent but I put all my efforts into hiding complicated succession of my emotions and feelings.

“I should have expected something like that from you.” I said jokingly, perfectly aware of the fact that detective must have felt my shiver due to extremely close contact of our bodies.

Good-natured laugh filled my ears, ringing and reverberating in my eardrums.

“I’m glad you hadn’t lost your sense of humor. And that sensitivity of yours.” I let out a sigh, trying to not roll my eyes instinctively. The detective who was standing so close to my back that people would likely misinterpret it said to me once that my facial muscles’ movements were too easy to predict. And so… There was no way that I’d fall for these psychological tricks once more! Or, maybe, I just did.

The result of my inner battle was so embarrassing that I couldn’t even mutter a usual, snarky retort. I just hung my head, cutting myself off from the world, and went forward without looking around. The detective followed me, keeping the distance between us as close as possible, but my goal was accomplished: not even that eccentric bastard would stick to my body in such a place.

With a soft sigh, I returned my thoughts back to the reason why I’d come here in the first place. The DD’s case was urgent enough to require my immediate attention but there was still some time left before he decides to attack according to Shiina’s analysis of the current situation. Granted, I wasn’t so optimistic in my predictions but I decided to trust her for now, keeping in mind that I needed to study game theory a bit more deeply than I did before: it sounded quite promising after Shiina’s detailed explanation of the game theory’s basic principles.

“Hey, lift your leg a bit higher, kid.” The detective’s voice snapped me out of my day-dreaming but it wasn’t able to stop my already started motion. I stumbled over the door step, and the detective’s hand gripped my collar and didn’t let me hit the floor. I tried to mutter an apologize but a quick glance at my surroundings made me forcefully swallow my words. The architect had a taste if they really planned such an effect close to culture shock.

Before me was a grand hall with neat rows of wooden, lacquered benches with soft, red seats for believers who come here to listen to priest. White-colored walls without any murals or mosaics and humble altar with red tapestry on it created an easy aura of tranquility and eupathy. There wasn’t any majestic atmosphere her, but just the sheer size of hall was especially striking me after inconspicuous front of the building. I had an impression that an architect was laughing at me, reminding me of the saying ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. Just what was with me today, so easily admitting my shameful defeats?

“And here I thought that you’d seen a lot more than just this. If I had a camera, I’d have had a lovely picture. To think that you’d have your mouth agape and eyes all-wide…” The detective whispered in my ears ironically and put a hand on my shoulder. I begrudgingly sat down, wondering why the hall was devoid of people. An enticing voice crawled into my ears as if the detective read my thoughts. “You see, it’s Seventh Day Adventist Church as the sign on the outer wall implies.”

I raised my eyebrow in an attempt to figure out what the detective was driving at. With my vast knowledge of useless things, it was difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff. I knew something about Ellen G. White, one of the SDA Church’s founders, whose works were used as theological basis aside from Bible, but it didn’t really help me. Then, that denomination belonged to Protestantism, therefore it was more strict then most of other Christian denominations, believing in Biblical infallibility, or, simply speaking, in the absolute of Holy Scriptures as His Words. As its foundation SDA Church uses Ten Commandments brought to the world by Moses used as a vessel for His Laws; investigative judgement which was essentially a belief that the divine judgement of professed Christians had begun in 1844; second coming of Christ that had given the name to Adventist Church; Great Controversy between the Son of God and Satan; wholistic human nature; Sabbath… Wait, I’m playing a detective yet again?

A sudden realization left me scratching the back of my head in self-deprecating laugh. The cold and cruel irony of the situation I found myself in was the right way to dent my self-confidence. My mind was just playing tricks with me while my imagination ran wild, and the detective simply let me realize it in a round-about way. What a softie I’ve got as my information source.

With that detail added to the image formed in my mind’s eye, I found the answer to my unspoken question. Well, I actually did it a bit earlier but it didn’t really matter.

“Sabbath, huh?” I asked, already expecting to see a sly smirk plastered on the detective’s face. A pity it was that I couldn’t see that face – human’s eyes simply weren’t able to roll inwards and see through the brain, cranium, and layers of flesh and skin.

“Precisely. Today isn’t Saturday, so we can use this hall to our heart’s extent.” The detective touched my cheek and slowly caressed it. It seemed that my only hope in this case was delighted by my inner conflict. The detective was one of few people who could play on my nerves, after all.

“What about information I asked you to gather?” I turned the conversation in more productive course, growing tired by endless walking in circles.

The detective chuckled and retrieved the hand.

“Good grief, I wanted to play a little longer.” The sly bastard exaggeratedly sighed. “Alright, listen closely; I won’t repeat myself.”

I just nodded my head, perking up my ears.

“I’ll skip the part about kidnappings, you already know about it.” The detective continued with monotonous voice, dropping the daring attitude. “I won’t tell you about my routine since it’s boring as… shoot, it almost slipped from my tongue!” But my moments of peace couldn’t be too long, it seemed. “Alright, excluding all official information, I know only one thing: that sick bastard… sorry, I hope that my words are forgiven for all my efforts in this case… he is working alone, but he has connections. A clear proof of it is the fact that his videos couldn’t be filmed without any special preparations, and they were quite expensive, if we are to believe in analyses of my specs. The quality of video and audio requires a mini-studio. For all I know, that bastard may be a crazy richie who wants to show off but it’s unlikely. And… nah, no offenses, but I grew tired of constantly apologizing to the invisible and intangible celestial being.”

I tilted my head, frowning at unneeded remarks. Obviously, I had some questions, but the detective didn’t like to be interrupted. I already tested that fellow’s patience; and as a sequence of my mistake, I was forced to chase after a certain bastard, having no clue what to do next and no time for working out any plans on the fly. It was quite a pain, believe me.

“Next, I need to speak about boring stuff, huh. Let’s see, DD was obviously using drugs to put his victims to a nice sleep with a ticket to one-way road or to immobilize them with the same pitiful end. Types were different, of course, but he preferred GHB.” The detective quickly muttered with disinterested voice. “Most likely, he also used different combinations of drugs to slow down their heart rate and blood circulation to pull off his damn tricks. By the way, he also used some surgical tools to mess with their vital organs.” The detective stopped to breath in. “Do you follow me?”

“Yeah. It seems that he has a nice studio and knows a bit about medicine, but he’s not a drug dealer. And, most likely, he’s cut off from his source because the police became interested in him and dealers don’t want to be involved.”

“That’s right, if I ignore the fact that you avoided an unpleasant topic about mutilated victims’ bodies. But then again, there was no reason to sell their organs since they all were terminally ill or had a weak constitution.” The detective heaved a sigh and poked a finger at my ribs causing me uncomfortably shift on my seat. “Alright, since you’re so sharp, let me derail from the topic for a bit with my cheap metaphors and parallels, as you had kindly said or thought last time we talked. Say, isn’t it a tad bit ironic that we are in the Church that believes in salvation through death and judgement that will be brought by second coming while DD is a crazy psycho who steals others’ lives through the rule of strong?”

“Not really. By the way, don’t intentionally leave out Ouroboros just to make me bring it up.” I stood up. So, everything was just a farce with some common knowledge, huh? As expected from the detective who was infamous for unpleasant pranks and unprofessional behavior.

“Why?” The detective inquired, disheartened by my quick and boring reply. “With your love to trailing off the topic, I thought you’d be interested in such an irony.”

I sharply turned around and looked at my interlocutor.

“I’ve got no interest in his motif. He’s not an enemy, he’s just an obstacle on my way.” I coldly answered and slipped my hand in the pocket to fish out my phone.

The detective’s hand covered mine.

“Really?” She tilted her head with a sly smirk. “Then why did you go out of your way just to save a fragile girl?”

I sighed and averted my gaze.

I had no answer for that question.

== Part 3 – Figure.09 ==

“What an absolutely meaningless chit-talk I had. I wonder if my head found something hard on my way without me noticing a thing. Oh, wait, it’s totally impossible unless I have some kind of instant amnesia which is impossible. Now, aren’t I coming to conclusion using the answer itself that I was supposed to find? All theoreticians of the world would kill me right on the spot if they caught the wind of my mistake.” I muttered under my breath, sitting on the uncomfortable seat in train. Well, relatively speaking since not even an hour had passed from the moment when I experienced the ride on famous bullet train which is often called Shinkansen. The difference between services was as distinct as between the sky and the land. In literal sense of that saying since the rich interior of the bullet train reminded me of the plane on which I came to Japan. Seats made out of leather, some plastic and other materials, soft lighting that didn’t hurt my eyes, unlike old lightbulbs in some flats where I had been before, and other nice stuff glued my attention to it, making me forget about my irritation for the time being.

Unfortunately, I was in a mood to grunt and rant about everything so the first thing that came to my mind when I walked out of the luxurious cabin was that silly conversation with that eccentric detective who took our strategy meeting as a game. What I couldn’t stand the most was my knowing the reason behind her strange and atypical behavior. Interpol sure was cautious of everything; I was being tailed starting somewhere between my arrival to airport and the end of my trip to the Church. And even here, leaning against the back of my seat, I could feel an intent gaze from the middle of an open coach.

For a moment I considered an option of taking that spy down but that idea was immediately murdered by my common sense. I never had the best reputation regarding laws in the first place, breaking them on regular basis, and there was absolutely no need to worsen it. Besides, having in my disposal a watchman who would inform higher-ups in case of emergency slightly raised my odds in this game of madmen.

''Do me a favor. Find that drug dealer and make him spill out everything he knows. That’s the least you can do for the information you received.''

I grinned, recalling the contents of small crumbled up note that was slipped into my breast pocket. The passenger who was sitting beside me slept soundly but I still made sure to turn to the window to conceal my amused smile. Once I’ve come to that town, the survival game will begin.

So, if someone’s watching me from above my head, send me a pleasant dream tonight.

== Part 4 – Forgotten ==

Once a stone is thrown, simply wait for ripples to appear.

That was how the saying sounded like in one old man’s version but there was no reason for me to call it on considering that his small hole in the ground, full of worms, clearly wasn’t the best apartment in the world. Besides, that simple sentence often was abused by me as the beginning stage for my plans, or, rather, courses of actions. In this particular case, I didn’t even need to throw a stone, for it had been done long before my arrival in Japan. DD’s ruthless attack was enough for the local town’s councillors to raise an issue of imposing curfew. I was sure that it hadn’t been the only concern they had but I’d rather not go into politics. It was a completely different kitchen from the one I had been working in all these years.

Speaking of ripples, that was where the most important matter was lying. If I weren’t able to use the consequences of my opponent’s actions and extract from them as much information as I could, then my pitiful attempts on cooking up a decent plan would crumble up as if nothing was done beforehand. Most of my enemies made in my bizarre adventures would never believe in such cruel truth since it would greatly increase the shame from their defeats which were simply a stroke of luck in my hands. Or, maybe, they would count out my sincere words as yet another story coined by my cunning – as they’d prefer to think – mind of born trickster.

In any way, all that mattered now was nervously looking around, shaking in fear and trying to make out the figures of policemen patrolling the town in the darkness of night. The target of my observations cautiously moved along the nearest wall of recently built apartment complex, unaware of me tracking him down. By the way, an agent from Interpol was here too, hiding from my curious gaze in the back-alleys and keeping just the right distance between us to keep an eye on me and to avoid being found out, which was kind of redundant taking into account the fact that I was currently talking about him. Alas, he wasn’t able to read my mind so he just continued on with his mundane and thankless task.

Returning back to the small figure before me, he finally decided that there was no one in his vicinity so he started to walk a little faster as if in fear that his luck won’t last long enough for him to make it in time. Obviously, our strange parody on very long and funny caterpillar started to move too with me worming my way through the night streets behind corners of buildings which must be quite eye-catching under the direct rays of light instead of reflected ones. It came to complete halt, though, once the first tread of our caterpillar had stopped again, this time around because of the police car going past us on the moderate speed. Fortunately, tired policemen didn’t seem to catch the suspicious sight of three men crawling one after another in slightly dirty back-alleys of the town. I could hear some incoherent words they exchanged with each other and then the sound of engine disappeared in night.

And then, our night adventure started anew without significant changes until the moment when my target had finally reached his destination where he was met by grim gaze of skinny drug dealer. I squeezed my eyes, discerning the old, run-down building behind the drug dealer’s back. It seemed that the town still had the remnants of its history here and there. A pity it was that these remnants didn’t have anything to hide behind nearby so these meters separating me from my target were in plain view of the drug dealer who thoroughly scanned the street without moving from his spot. On the bright side, I could hear something, even though I needed to seriously strain my ears in order to pick up at least several words.

“…alone?” The drug dealer asked, without moving his body in the slightest.

“…” The client’s body language was a bit richer since he was shaking from fear and agitation. In return, his words weren’t that easy to catch.

“…money…? …give…free…”

“…dose.” It was unclear what the client was doing since all I could see was his back, but, judging by his rummaging through his pockets, he was trying to find money.

“…all? …kidding.” The dealer’s voice turned into roar in the end of the phrase.

“…money. …hold… anymore.”

“…away. …enough. …no… drugs. …rules.”

“Wait, wait! Hol-“ Poor man wasn’t able to say anything anymore, holding his stomach and opening and closing his mouth like dying fish thrown on the seashore. The drug dealer’s punch lacked anything but brute strength so, apparently, it was enough to make his client shut up. If I would have been in his shoes, I’d do the same since the man’s shout might attract unneeded attention to this place. Fortunately, there was no one in the drug dealer’s vicinity except for me, Interpol agent and unlucky client who didn’t have enough money for another dose of his drugs.

Seeing that everything was clear, the drug dealer kicked his client in the side, showing that there was no deal without cash given to him. Maybe, he intended to scare the client away but he didn’t expect a tiny man to lose consciousness just because of two hard, clean hits. For a moment the drug dealer simply stood on his spot, then he proceeded to give his client another kick to the side, testing the water. The body merely shook from impact and rolled on the hard asphalt but there was no other reaction.

I breathed in fresh, cool air, and started to think. Not that my brain wasn’t working before that but I needed a bit more brain’s capacity now.

Right now, the situation threatened to go out of my control. While it was true that I simply went with flow, grabbing the one-in-thousand chance by tailing a very bad student breaking curfew, I never wished to have another man killed in front of me, even if the possibility of his death was pretty low. And that was leaving me with the choice.

First option was to take a role of superhero and jump out of my hide just to be killed in case that the drug dealer had a handgun hidden in his clothes. It was an outlandish course of actions for me, so I lightly shook my head, seeing how the drug dealer was still hesitating.

The alternative was to simply ignore the situation at hand and turn my back to the scene before me leaving the agent to deal with the problem. Yet, I wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t follow me instead of blowing up his current cover. So, it too was out of option, sorry for the irony.

Feeling that both variants had practically the same outcome, I knew that I needed to act as usual.

“What a joke. You really don’t know what to do?”

And it meant that I was choosing the third option. I never was a hero to blindly jump into the problem, nor was I a villain to simply leave a damsel in distress behind, even if there wasn’t a damsel in distress now, so there was only one archetype I could use for myself. Anti-hero.

With such simple reasoning I went out of my hide, acting like nothing happened. It was a dangerous gamble but I was willing to go to the bitter end.

“The hell you’re doing here?” I should praise the drug dealer – he chose the right question. Not my name or my identity, but my reason for standing here. “And who the hell are you, bitch?”

Or maybe not.

“I’m here to send a message.” I took a light breathe, hiding it under the guise of darkness. Even if I wasn’t prepared, there was a need in controlling my body language and my voice which was a bit higher than usually. A slightest wavering wasn’t an option, regardless of my intentions.

The drug dealer scowled, taking in my figure which looked anything but imposing.

“A message? Don’t mess with me, brat. Go back to sucking breasts.” Despite his harsh words, I could hear that he was hesitating. And it meant there was an opening I might be able to explore.

“''KEN is in town. Run for your lives.''” My lips widened in slight smile. “If you don’t understand that, small fry, then try asking your superiors. I hope they aren’t idiots.”

For a full minute, the drug dealer just stood in front of me, shocked by my arrogant words. Well, I was attempting to pull his leg so his reaction was expected. But I never knew that he would produce a gun and start to aim it at me.

“''He'' was right. What a lucky coincidence. Who knew that it was just a tiny girl? One shot, and I’m on the top. Just one shot, dammit.” The drug dealer muttered that, and his gun finally locked on my body. The issue was that I wasn’t there anymore. “The hell?”

I didn’t waste my time and simply dashed forward, leaning as close to the ground as I could. It wouldn’t be enough against a professional, but my little trick was enough to startle an amateur. Besides, I had no choice but run, since basic tactic here would be dash-and-hide if I had a gun myself, or close distance fast enough to leave the opponent without a firearm. It was a pity that I didn’t have anything to distract the drug dealer with…

Or so I thought, before my hand fished out a coin from my pocket and threw it at the opponent’s face. The gunshot rang out, due to the involuntary movement of the drug dealer’s hand, but thankfully the bullet’s trajectory never had intersections with my line of small run. Five meters were closed in just a second and I executed just a final step of one aikido technique, tenchinage.

I pulled his right hand to the ground and delivered a strike at his left shoulder, using my gained momentum to make up for using a defensive throw as offensive. Forgive me, aikidokas, but, at the very least, it wasn’t the worst use of martial arts in my experience.

Fortunately for me, my initial move was enough to shake him off the balance and throw him on the ground. Stray bullet grazed my cheek, and I quickly stomped on the drug dealer’s right hand in retaliation. With a shriek of pain, he grabbed his arm, letting his handgun fall on the cold asphalt. I could only pity him, because I might have overdid it: I could hear his bones cracking from impact.

Alas, I still had some business with him.

“Well then, let’s play good cop – bad cop. A pity it is, good cop is unconscious. I hope you can understand what it means.”

== Part 5 – Papercut ==

''It was a surprising development.''

Agreed. I never thought that agent would reveal himself so early.

''But I should remark that female clothing suits you…''

D-don’t praise me like that, you idiot!

''Is it the first time when you played along?''

I just don’t have anything else to do until DD shows up on the scene.

''Really? You had something to do, then.''

Where?

''That’s a secret. Look for him yourself.''

Now, who is tsundere here?

''Who knows?''

Right…

Looking around, I heaved a sigh. After my impromptu interrogation of drug dealer, I was able to learn only meaningless details which didn’t really make sense without other information about DD. To be perfectly honest, there were no other expectations from my side than just that but who knew that Interpol agent would stroll out of his hide so readily? Moreover, he even offered me the most dangerous position in the official operation which was actually… the role of dummy.

Of course, I knew that they simply didn’t want to use their agents as a bait, and I appeared here as an ideal scapegoat at the best possible time for them. But I was in no position to turn down that offer when I had the chance to have the greatest back-up I could expect in Japan. And so, I was standing here, amidst all this crowd that gathered on the street to take a look at the strange police cordon surrounding a fancy house for a few hours already. Cross-dressed once again, with flawless make-up on my face, putting a mobile phone to my ear, faking a conversation.

Taking in the scene before me, I attempted to relax my tense body and failed spectacularly. My expression was as stiff as rock’s surface but it didn’t matter already. I belatedly realized the reason why I was on alert. I felt someone’s gaze on me. Without giving a reaction, I moved only my eyes. An old man in business suit, a lady in a good dress right from second-hand shop, a small child with a cap on his head… There was too many people to be able to have an eye contact with someone like in these spy movies.

I took a slight step back, carefully avoiding a collision with old granny who was helplessly struggling to regain her balance. I needed an open space to find out whose sharp eyes were following each and every my movement. Why didn’t I have that nice ability of martial artists to trace the killing intent? It would have made my life so easier!

With hard to swallow knowledge that my difficulty was always set on Hardcore, I finally squeezed between a young pair who were giving strangely light-hearted comments about the situation at hand. Now I wasn’t restrained by the crowd, and I had a bit more oxygen for my next manoeuvres.

“It doesn’t disappear. Where are you?” I mumbled under my breathe, my gaze darting from one man to another. Fear was trying to take over my mind, but it was too weak for such a task. No cigar, panic, time for brainstorming.

I had no clear proofs, but my instincts were screaming that the DD was near. The question was, where was he? According to my information, he was bald, and he had sharp features, but it could be hid by heavy make-up and wig. I needed something else. Something to grab at.

My wandering gaze scanned the crowd. I had a hunch that this time I’d be able to find a clue, once I set the conditions that needed to be met. Children could be counted out, so I didn’t even bother to lower my eyes. It mattered not what kind of make-up DD had, it was practically impossible for him to disguise as a woman. Old men would be too obvious for someone as flashy as that theatrical bastard. Any Japanese could be left out too…

Wait, why did I decide so? Why I noticed a big hole in my way of thinking only now? How could I make such a stupid mistake?

It was ''him'' all along.

“An agent? Don’t make me laugh, DD. You set up a great spectacle here, I should admit it.” I self-deprecatingly smiled and turned around.

''He'' was too '''normal'''. As if making a light of me. As if knowing that a small lie would be enough to make me play at his tune.

“I should blame my habit of ignoring faces of people unless I’m interested in them.” I bit my lip, drawing the blood from it.

Strangely enough, I calmed down from that simple action.

“Let’s play another game, Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier. I’ll take the reigns from you, and send you to the abyss of laws.”

''How cool.''

Shut up.

== Part 6 – No More Sorrow ==

“Oh? You’re pretty cautious for someone who has a back-up from Interpol and JSDF. Calling me from a phone booth~”

“I don’t remember having JSDF as my allies but whatever.”

“So, what’s the reason for your sudden call?”

“It’s you, DD.”

“Oh. Clever child. Alright, then let me ask you, are Shiina Ryo and KEN the same person?”

“Does it really worry you?”

“It does.”

“Liar.”

“I absolutely love to be called liar when it comes from the mouth of infamous KEN. But you’re right. Either way, KEN and Shiina Ryo will have their lives stolen by me.”

“That so? Then you don’t care about the order?”

“Order?”

“Order, in which we, or just I alone, will die.”

“You’ve got that right, I don’t really care about that. I may assume that you mean by your words something more than you just gave out, right?”

“I propose a duel. One-on-one, then you either go to jail or hunt down the remaining one girl. If there is one, of course.”

“Interesting. What makes you think that I-“

“Because you’re afraid of me.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Your reputation. Your freedom. Your goddamn life. Everything’s going to be jeopardized, courtesy of a bunch of children.”

“That’s absurd.”

“It’s not.”

“…”

“You already poisoned an Interpol agent. That’s enough to send you to a grey, small room with minimalistic décor for a while. Other stuff won’t make you wait for too long.”

“…”

“Back to me.”

“So modest.”

“It’s pleasant to know that someone else shares my opinion of myself.”

“…”

“As I said, I am what your fear the most.”

“…Shut up.”

“I am unknown variable or, maybe, I am one of constants that you didn’t include in your calculations?”

“Shut up.”

“You’ve got no information on me. You don’t know where I live nor do you know even my name.”

“Shut up!”

“You’ve got no idea if I am just a myth created by a Japanese schoolgirl. But, I’m sure in that, you know what outcome will be in case you underestimate me.”

“…Tch.”

“By the way, what do you know about game theory?”

“Huh?”

“I just thought that our positions are ideal for Matching Pennies since our goals are completely opposite. Fancy an explanation?”

“Go ahead, damn kid.”

“Then, let me begin…”

== Part 7 – One Step Closer ==

Closed space always made me claustrophobic. I could be panicking because of imaginary lack of oxygen and food, feeling that ceiling would fall on me any moment even though it was practically impossible. The nuclear bunkers were made to be atemporal, and the materials were solid enough to withstand even the strong explosions. That was right, I was currently leaning against concrete wall, enduring its apparent coldness. Female clothing wasn’t that warm!

''That being said, don’t forget that clothes only preserve heat. And why are you still cross-dressing?''

…I don’t know, really.

Besides, my eyes were irritated by blinking lighting which was the weakest part in this bunker. It was depressing me, destroying my unstable mind. I was driven crazy by that feeble light, feeling like it was staring right inside of me. That was a silly parallel but my imagination was uncomfortably restricted by knowledge that I basically cornered myself here.

''Thank goodness, there’s no sound of water drops falling on the floor.''

I would have snapped if it was there.

And silence. That factor was just shy of being on the top of my list ‘things-that-I-hate-the-most’. It would be bearable if there was some repetitive sound where I could find some rhythm. To the man who loved music it was difficult to sit in quiet room, to say the least. Drums, heavy riffs of bass guitar or light accord of acoustic guitar, anything would appease my agonized soul.

''You’ve got an annoying method to deal with your stress. …Oh, here he is. That DD is quite punctual, coming just on time.''

That so? …Wait, how did you know it?

Thump.

''Trade secret.''

You have a job?

''If you mean listening to noisy teenager who only knows to complain counts as a career, then yes.''

Pitter-patter.

“You’ve come.” I slowly said, drawling and forgetting about mysterious voice. The tall figure of Death Drive, also known as Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier, appeared in the narrow passway. Just like last time, he had fake hair on his bald head but his make-up today was lighter. With a theatrical waving of his hand, he threw his wig on the floor, and folded up in mocking bow.

“I did, o’ my fear.” Death Drive reared himself up, staring right into my eyes. I returned the gaze, steeling my resolve to end this here and now. To my surprise, my fear was gradually subsiding as if my opponent wasn’t worth this show. “And I know that you’re desperate. No need to be a genius to realize that.”

“Oh, really?” I inquired, my right eye squinted. My body was all tensed up at his words, but he didn’t need to know it.

Death Drive simply laughed, shrugging off my remark.

“All I needed was to simply play along for a while. Oh my, you sounded so serious!” He tapped his bald head, and grinned. “Let’s reveal our cards, shall we?”

He stretched his hand, and I automatically raised my hand, acting on my instincts.

''And pain shot through my wrist.''

I was careless to lower my guard. My right hand was pierced by small dart, and I felt how it started to numb. Death Drive cautiously stepped forward, lowering his hand and hiding from me his tool. As a true illusionist, he knew that it was necessary to keep his secrets from others.

“It’s snake poison, I guess.” I frowned, trying to fight off eerie coldness which was robbing me of the control over my own my body. It was proven to be pointless since the effect of poison never weakened despite my struggles.

''I fell on the cold floor, shivering.''

“Well then, since you’re now busy dealing with my little precious poison, I can fill the silence with my monologue.” Excited, Death Drive waved his hands. “Let me be frank, I never thought that famous KEN would appear to be a girl. What a joke! I expected to see a grim man in his thirties, and then what I looked at was just a teenager! That night was a bit disappointing, I should tell you this. Of course, your movements were cool and all, but there was nothing more to comment on!”

Girl?

''Ahahahahaha!''

Damn you, voice.

“…”

Death Drive calmly strolled across the room, with each step shortening the small distance between us. In his hand glistened a long knife with which he apparently intended to steal my life.

“At first, I was mortified. Truly, your voice brought me a fear which I hadn’t felt for so long. Your words left me breathless, shocking me with sharp truth they had. If you were a bit older, I would have fallen for you.”

“…”

''AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!''

I… alright, no comments. He’s either dumb or blind. Maybe both.

“But good time is bound to end now. I really enjoyed talking with you, you know.” Death Drive bent his leg and reached his free hand to my face. To be more precise, he touched my hair because I was lying on my fours, biting my lip. “Let’s dot all i’s.”

“Hey, want to know one thing before I die?” I muttered. Death Drive put a knife to my throat, and tilted his ugly head.

“Go ahead.” His smug smile could have dealt massive damage to my psyche if I didn’t have something to erase it from his face.

“I’m a guy.” I winked at him, enjoying his reaction. Death Drive was clearly bewildered by my words, his hand dangerously shaking from shocking news. And it meant one thing for me.

He had an opening.

“Haah!”

''My blood vessels were about to burst open.''

My hand shot in his guts, robbing him of breathe. Death Drive coughed and tried to move his knife only to be stopped by my other hand. With one of my palm pressed against the floor and other on his wrist, I now had enough handholds to execute my next trick.

''My body was screaming in agony.''

My legs quickly kicked the floor, sending me in the mid-air, and slammed against Death Drive’s head once I spun above him. Judging by the impact, my hit landed in right spot. I couldn’t help but pity his head.

''But I endured.''

With a thud, Death Drive’s body hit the floor, and my fall was softened by it. Much to my satisfaction, he never had time to shower me by his questions, for he was already out cold.

I straightened my posture, swaying, and thinly smiled.

“Alright now. Tie up this guy before he wakes up, will you? I’m bad with knots.” I asked a man who showed up in passway. This time around it was an actual Interpol agent so I had nothing to worry about.

“Did you take your antidote?” The man asked me, cautiously walking to Death Drive.

I lightly smiled, flicking my forehead.

“You know, I forgot about it.” I fished out a small bottle from my pocket, opened the lid and emptied contents of the bottle. When I finished, I was greeted by sight of stupefied agent with his mouth agape.

== Part 8 – Easier To Run ==

With night air filling my lungs, I was walking down the road.

“You don’t know how good it is to be on this side of ground.” I almost sang in the mobile phone which I was pressing against my ear. My legs still were wobbling a bit, thanks to snake poison from Death Drive’s collection.

“You’re pretty lucky to be still alive. I’m surprised that your plan worked with so many variables.” The detective remarked from the other side of the phone.

“So I am.” I replied.

“What was that part about poison?” The detective asked, not hiding her curiosity.

“I wouldn’t live for so long if I didn’t have some resistance against poisons.” I shrugged my shoulders, ignoring the fact that the detective wouldn’t be able to see my actions.

“That so? It’s to be expected from someone of your calibre, huh.” The detective sighed. “You know, I don’t have that much balance to talk to you about everything so make sure to send me a full report about this case.”

“Alright.” I dejectedly drooped my shoulders.

“Ok, with that being cleared let me ask you one question.” The detective’s voice became more playful. And I didn’t like it.

“I won’t say no even though I should do so.”

“Thank you very much!” The detective’s gratitude wasn’t worth much if it could be bought just for the chance to ask me. “What are you going to do next?”

I shook my head, chasing away dizzy spell.

“I’ll return back to Sicily.”

“Really? I thought you’d go to your girlfriend for a cup of tea~” The detective laughed. “Jokes aside, I was sure that you’d live in that town for a while.”

I closed my eyes with a bitter smile on my face.

“First of all, I still have an unfinished case in Sicily.”

“That’s, most likely, just an excuse for you but go on.”

“And, I don’t really think that I need to be here. It’ll be better for Shiina to live without me near her.”

“That’s totally an excuse.” The detective brushed off my words as if they were nothing. “You’re just afraid, right?”

I didn’t answer.

“You won’t gain much if you’d continue to ignore your need in people who can believe you completely.” The detective’s voice was cheerful as ever. “Even I am unable to believe in your stories.”

“We’ll see.” I gave her a brief reply and then I hung up, skipping formalities. The detective wouldn’t mind it any way, and I needed to isolate myself from everything to pull myself together.

I never knew that I’d return here.

== Part 9 - Powerless ==

“Phew.” That was all that Shin-tsu could utter after talking for three hours, forty seven minutes and thirty eight seconds. The total time exceeded twelve hours, and I felt that it was a bit too much. However, it was Shin-tsu, so I didn’t complain since it was completely in his style.

Besides, it was enough for me to decide the results of my preparations.

“The end was anti-climatic.” I gave my honest opinion, hiding a smile in my eyes.

Shin-tsu only laughed bitterly.

“I thought so. Wait, what’s with your expression?”

“It’s nothing. I just don’t know if I should be relieved at the fact that you never plan beforehand or shocked that your plan worked.” I lightly sighed.

Shin-tsu scratched his head.

“Well, I was just lucky.”

“You were. Or you were crazy enough to cook up a plan based only on coincidences and know that it would suffice against such an opponent.”

Or maybe, both assumptions were right. There was nothing certain if things were about Shin-tsu.

And it was the most important detail in my analysis.

“I don’t know if I should take your words as a round-about way to make a compliment…” He muttered, heaving a sigh. “Let’s move to other two things I asked you to do last night, shall we?”

I smiled.

Because I found my answer to the question already.

“I believe that it’s just one thing already.”

“Right. I don’t know why I should have wasted that chance to ask you to hear me to the very end.” Shin-tsu’s expression never ceased to amuse me.

“And I think that we can start even without a call.”

Shin-tsu could only sigh in umpteenth time.

“I guess our little conspiracy was seen through?” A familiar, cheerful voice reached my ears, and I already knew who was standing behind me. I could figure out what was the expression on her face, but still…

I needed to see it.

Because copy couldn’t match original.

“Then, let’s proceed to our reconciliation meeting.”

And so, I turned around.

To see Ryo’s face.

A experiment could wait, couldn’t it?

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 3 – Overture

2012-10-14T03:51:07Z

Ryuno: Created page with "== Part 1 – Kyomu Densen == I’ve heard already that Duomo di Monreale, or Monreale Cathedral, was the main sightseeing in the town, but I never thought the very sight of ..."

== Part 1 – Kyomu Densen ==

I’ve heard already that Duomo di Monreale, or Monreale Cathedral, was the main sightseeing in the town, but I never thought the very sight of it would be so overwhelming in the real life. That was the power which was held in the history of the building, I guess. For your information, Cathedral was built in High Middle Age when Norman King, William II used Conca D’Oro as his hunting grounds. And His already dead Majesty must’ve been very generous to place the seat of Sicilian metropolitan archbishop in a province just for the sake of turning the tables around on political game board.

''Your Hidemore will sue you for thinking in such style.''

The building was located on the big plaza with a neat fountain in its centre. Rich green tropical plants surrounded area, filling the air with their aromas in which the influence of bright and warm sunlight was most notable. Speaking of the Sun, its Majesty Star of our Galaxy had yet to rise high in the sky so the temperature and humidity was still mild for Sicily. So, thanks to carefully chosen time, I was able to enjoy light blue morning sky without any problems regarding hot climate of the famous island.

''Nice thinking, genius.''

Returning back to Cathedral which already drew attention of some tourists, who could be quite early birds in foreign countries, it was magnificent, bathing in weak rays of Apollo’s arrows- aren’t I redundant here?

''You are.''

Back on topic. Architect, who managed to create such design with mix of several cultures, was surely a genius. West-facing elevation consisted of two asymmetrical towers in ancient European style and white portico which was lying on four columns connected by three arcs. Behind towers was seen brownish wall adorned by pseudo-arc Arabic ornament with massive door which had its footing right on portico. And the roof of the Cathedral was hardly seen, not that its beauty was shadowed by that particular fact.

''You’re quite short on words here. What’s wrong? Is it too hot for you?''

Looking at the Cathedral from more practical point of view, it was unlikely that I could use the tower on my left hand for escape. Granted, it was lower than that on my right hand but it had fewer points which I could use as handholds. Two narrow vertical holes in its lower half didn’t leave me any choice but toss aside a silly thought.

I shielded my eyes with my right hand and looked at the right tower. It was more useful in terms of escape – two loopholes which left me some room for climbing on the tower. After that I could use embayment in the wall to get on the portico and open the door. Or it would be in reverse order.

''Parkour again, huh? It didn’t save you from fighting last time you used it to escape those thugs. And I really doubt that it’ll be useful now.''

I returned my hand back to its place near the right side of my body and stepped forward, moving closer to Cathedral. The door hidden behind columns slowly filled my field of vision with its engravings in Bible motif. Black walls created quite gloomy atmosphere which ignited the sparkle of fear in my heart but I still moved forward until I wasn’t forced to stop in front of a scarlet bronze door.

My hand touched enormous masterpiece made by Italian masters, slid on its writings in Vulgar Latin and finally pushed it. The door creaked and opened inwards, letting me through. When I stepped in the Cathedral after a moment of hesitation I froze on the spot enchanted by magnificent view of beautiful mosaics. Well, that was what I wanted to say originally. Not that I could deceive myself when there were no mosaics. Or, maybe, it wasn’t quite right. After all…

<center>There was nothing.</center>

The '''floor''' was ''non-existent''.

'''Black''' ''clouds'' which appeared from nowhere served as ''ceiling''.

And thick '''walls''' ''disappeared'' in '''the gray smoke'''.

“L'esprit de l'escalier, huh?” I mumbled gritting my teeth. That French term was used by Diderot who only thought of needed comeback when he already got to the bottom of the stairs, returning home from dinner at Necker’s place. And it was most appropriate for my situation when I noticed everything when it was already too late.

Silent sigh escaped my mouth when I realized that I hadn’t heard my own voice.

And then I fell, just like character of cartoons who was running on the air for the sake of childish joke.

Right into embrace of Mystery.

== Part 2 – Staple Stable ==

When Shin-tsu finished at that part, he let out tired sigh, rubbing his temples. “I guess it isn’t where we stopped last time, right?”

“Are you trying to play off your use of L’esprit de l’escalier?” I inquired with my eyes squinted.

“Maybe.” He nonchalantly shrugged off my remark.

“So what happened next?”

“I was being chased for a while and then something kicked me out of Cathedral.”

“And why I feel like you hid the most important part?”

“I’d have remarked that you’ll make a good Tsukkomi but-“

“You mean that I’ll make you pay for it immediately afterwards?”

“…Yeah.” He exaggeratedly shuddered.

In return he gained only tired sigh. Silence lasted for about five minutes until I decided to return conversation back on its rails.

“So you won’t tell me about it?”

“Not now, at least.”

“Well then, let’s close this topic.” I took a sip from my tea, soothing my throat. Shin-tsu slightly smiled and closed his eyes with sly look on his face. Only then did I decide to stop his farce. “Shin-tsu, no need to deceive me if I know that nothing is wrong with my tea.”

His smile immediately disappeared. “How many jumps it took for you to realize that I was trying to set up a fake trap, Maria-san?”

“I’m neither Maria, nor Aya.” I brushed off his reference to certain light novel, or rather its first volume. “Besides, you should know who you’re talking with.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry, crazy Freudian.”

“Thank you for compliment, my beloved crossdresser.”

Shin-tsu hung his head. “Ugh… That was a sucker punch, you know? Whatever, what’s the score now?”

“Two against three, you’re still leading.”

“I don’t want to know what you used in different timeline.” Shin-tsu shook his head.

“And you don’t need to. Besides, aren’t my two equal to zero, if we take into account our conditions?”

“Who knows?”

With that rhetoric question Shin-tsu decided to continue his story.

== Part 3 – Magia ==

When I managed to escape from Cathedral, the Sun already hid on the other side of our planet. It seemed like that place was warping time and space but my mind stimulated by adrenaline wasn’t able to took any notice of it until I found myself in front of my house. My breathe was irregular and rigid as if I just ran a marathon which wasn’t that far from truth if we take into account that Newton’s physics wasn’t working properly in there. Or, maybe, I just exhausted my entire reserves of hormones.

''And, of course, everything related to brain activity. It seems that your knowledge of memory is as bad as always.''

Wouldn’t you be the first one affected by it?

''Who knows? According to you, I’m not part of your mind whatsoever.''

Hey, don’t talk as if you’re my girlfriend and I just messed up with something important!

''Isn’t it amusing to have a girlfriend inside of your mind?''

Not even in slightest. But I’m glad that you changed your tone; I’ve had enough of chills running up and down on my spine.

''Oh dear, how could you be so mean…? Ah, I see. Are you acting all cool just to show me your affection? I see, I see.''

…

''What’s wrong, dear? You became so silent… Do you have a fever? Let me check your temperature, it’s sooo important to be in good health. I need you, dear.''

…

''That’s not nice, for you to ignore me. I’m worried and I can’t even take care of you. Do you know how painful it is when your beloved is in pain but you can’t do a thing?''

You…

''Ah, I’m so glad! Why did you not talk to me before? I was very, very worried, you know! Don’t scare me like that-''

“SHUT UP, YOU DAMNED ILLUSIONARY BEING WHO DOESN’T EVEN EXIST IN REALITY!” My shout seemed to chase away all birds who were misfortunate enough to be in my vicinity. The very sight of dozens of frightened doves and the thought of possible aftermath of my thoughtless outburst returned me from the back of my mind to real world in which I nearly forgot to believe. And flabbergasted, yet somewhat interested looks of respectable citizens of Monreale didn’t encourage me enough to resume my voice practice. Most likely, I just gave a nice topic for heated discussions to kind and understanding Sicilian housewives for a week or so. I’ll leave the work of calculating approximate time period, during which my bones will be washed clean with soothe and sweet words, to statisticians.

Without wasting time on unneeded movements I flew to the extravagant front door of my new, yet so reliable house, unlocked the door and hid in the narrow corridor. Darkness found me once again, but now I wasn’t bothered by it. Not when I know that I have a cover above my head and no traps are awaiting me here.

Letting my agitated body cool down, I walked down the corridor, utilizing my knowledge of qigong. My movements became more fluid adapting to changed rhythm of my breath. That was due to the amalgamation of various teachings which included philosophy, martial arts and religion, known by the name of qigong, or chi kung, or chi gung. Using breathing and walking as form of self-hypnosis a warrior could clear their mind and control their body more effectively and efficiently.

…I really pity the fact that mysterious voice disappeared somewhere during confusion. My tired mind needs to be distracted by something, be it annoying, irritating, selfish, cocky, insolent, cheeky, bothersome, provoking, arrogant, unnerving voice which sounded funny, strange, unfamiliar and familiar simultaneously with snarky, sarcastic, mean, nasty, venomous, poignant comments…

''I’m tired of your long and loving depiction, so make it short.''

…And I absolutely didn’t intend to invoke it with strange incantations.

''Quit being tsundere, you’re in Italy.''

Alright, alright. It’s my turn to make witty and passionate remarks, right?

''Spare me. I’ll go and sleep, if you please.''

Please do. I’m fine with a draw.

''…''

Hoping that I won’t hear voice’s snort- is such phenomenon even possible?- I went in a living room and slowly walked to the computer which was stilling most of my time dedicated to sound sleep. Black display was brought to life by simple movements of my fingers, and while the computer was turning on I took my time to search for a small, clean towel to wipe off my sweat. Wet T-shirt was thrown in the wooden laundry basket and replaced by dry white shirt.

I let myself simply enjoy a pleasant feeling from light material of shirt, before sitting on the chair and resting my fingers on the non-QWERTY-keyboard. Fortunately, the numbers there were in their usual, mathematically right order and it helped me to grow used to unfamiliar keyboard layout. Speaking of which, original version of this kind of keyboard created by someone, whose family name could be easily mistaken with that of famous Polish composer, looked a bit different in 1930s, but that’s details.

Light and quick gliding of mouse on its mousepad resulted in appearance of eerie-looking site on the display. I smirked when my glance fell on the post count of certain videos. It seemed that my little tricks worked exactly as I wanted them to. For the sake of controlling the flow of heated discussions, I made two accounts for myself, dividing between them roles of harsh prosecutor and kind barrister in the imaginary court, and used them to artificially create topics for finding flaws and contradictions in those mini-movies for the sake of diverting everyone’s attention from mystical parts of DD’s horror masterpieces. After all, fake mystery loses its appeal after its cover is blown.

However, all I’d done was to back that strict and always dead serious plotovercharacter who wrote entire pages of a little dry text full of terms from various fields of science starting from biology and ending with criminology just to prove one point of someone’s argument wrong. Needless to say, she or he – unfortunately, the profile was entirely empty – replied to all posts which were addressed to her or him in such a manner with terrifying speed of typing words. I won’t be surprised if plotovercharacter ended up beating world record or writing more words than it was needed for certain Internet challenge for novelists in one day instead of a cold autumn month.

Today was going to be spent in the same way as last night: plotovercharacter would start the attack on one of the new videos, and then I’ll take part in discussions, playing big roles on both sides without drawing entire spotlights on me. Well, my plan was along these lines if I hadn’t noticed a little number one near inbox sign of my nickname, or rather both nicknames which were ‘ThreeO’ and ‘O1O’. Surprised sigh escaped my mouth when I saw who sent me private messages.

“Oh my, I was found out?” I couldn’t help but whisper in acknowledgement of plotovercharacter’s deduction abilities. My hand slightly moved the mouse and the message opened with a click.

‘Dear O1O,

I’m honored to have such a companion on this site where everyone seems to believe in magic, which is ridiculous explanation of these mortifying videos, when the truth behind Death Drive’s cruel tricks may be figured out with a help of simple logic and slight hint of deduction. You have my eternal gratitude for your great help.

However, I want to uncover your own trick which you were using all the time. Excuse me, if I’m wrong, but do you have two accounts on this site? I’m talking about this account and the other one which are O1O and ThreeO respectively. According to my knowledge of English language, the number 1 in its writing starts from letter ‘o’, and that perfectly fits in the nickname ThreeO if we take into account other O on both sides of number 1. I’m sorry for my forced pun and overly long explanation of my speculation.

As for the meaning of your nickname, I have nothing but one baseless assumption. The very first commentary of yours was starting with the line, ‘I’m, of course, an odd one, but my imagination isn’t…”. I’ll omit the rest of quote, if you please, because it’s unrelated to the topic. The important word here is ‘odd’, and I think that it’s what first O means. The meaning of second O is self-explanatory, but third alphabet needs more than a simple quotation of any of your commentaries. I believe that you intended to make a hidden message from your nickname and that requires the word which will deliver the meaning. I’m not trying to flatter you but you stand out from most people on the site. That’s one side of my assumption but O can be interpreted in other way. For example, you want to deliver the message to DD himself in which you try to stop him or tell him that he was caught in something. I don’t know what the exact meaning but only one word fits here and it’s ‘out’.

And so, I could only decipher your nickname as the phrase ‘Odd One Out’.

I think that my explanation is sufficient enough to convey my thoughts. Allow me to explain myself, I wrote about that to clear that secret because I believe that friendship is impossible with secrecy and conspiracy. And that’s what I wanted to do with this letter – I attempted to clear the path towards our friendship. I hope that you accept it.

Thanks for your time.

Sincerely yours, plotovercharacter.’

The amused grin defeated my self-control without any resistance met and spread over my face.

It seemed that I made the right choice.

== Part 4 – Perfect-area Complete! ==

It seemed that Shin-tsu’s self-control was as weak as he admitted it – wide smile appeared on his lips without him noticing it. I sighed and silently extended my hand, taking his hand in mine.

“Eh, what are you doing, Kou…!” Shin-tsu’s face twisted from pain, thanks to pressure to his carpal bone on the joint between thumb and wrist.

“Shock therapy.”

“Don’t mistake terms with such self-confidence! Acupuncture is totally different from shock therapy!”

“I’m not using needles.”

“Hey, with your sharp nails you have no need in needles…! That hurts!”

“Are you done day-dreaming?” I casually asked.

“What about you acting as some yandere girl…? Wait, wait, wait, I am, I am.” Shin-tsu hastily answered. I let go of his hand and silently watched as he tried to relieve pain breathing on his palm.

“There was no need to repeat yourself, Shin-tsu.”

“Hey, stop randomly choosing roles from light novels which don’t suit you.” His comeback was quick and unexpected. But it could be used against him.

“Then what roles do suit me?” I asked, trying to maintain my poker face.

“…why I feel that my hand is in danger again?” Shin-tsu mumbled with caution. “Just don’t act. You are you, and not some character.”

Ridiculousness of situation forced me break my mask and let out small laugh before stopping. “What about your hand?”

“Nothing important. I won’t go in your acupuncture service.”

“I won’t let you enter my shop in the first place.”

“I doubt it.”

“Why?”

Shin-tsu involuntarily looked at his hand.

“Don’t you have more important questions?”

“I’d have asked why you are able to remember that message in all details but it’s irrelevant. Besides,” I made a pause. “I won’t fall for your trick thrice.”

“Did I praise you for your deduction ability in previous timelines?” Shin-tsu slyly smiled.

“That’s irrelevant.”

“Bad try, Kouma. You didn’t avert your eyes nor did you bat your meticulously tinted eyelashes - your self-control is as good as ever but even I can’t possibly miss a slight movement of your fingers when you tried to divert the topic. The frown on your face obviously says that you’re trying to remember if you had done such a silly mistake, and it completely gives you out. Besides, the phrase thrown by you is already a proof of my remark being said in other timeline.”

“Brilliant work, sir detective.”

That remark was left unanswered.

== Part 5 – Again ==

Sometimes even I could be surprised by how different one person might be from first impression clearly printed in my twisted to some degree mind. After exchanging some information needed for further interaction, the discussion was continued in chatroom of a program which wasn’t the part of that gloomy site. The very first phrase of my virtual interlocutor nearly forced me fall from my chair.

‘Hi, I’m Shiina Ryo. :3’

The phrase itself wasn’t anything unordinary. It was a simple greeting with a brief introduction; however it contained enough letters, words, bits and bytes of information to leave me with my mouth agape and my fingers trembling from the feeling quite similar to culture shock. Or, maybe, her phrase just busted my stereotypes.

Yes, she was a girl, and this particular fact was one of the reasons why I was so shocked. I bet, if I were to ask ten people, whether or not there was any Japanese girl who was graduating from Middle School this year and was writing like a mature, middle-aged and overly serious man, all of them will be… as shocked as me, learning the truth, if they didn’t hold any biases or have any misconceptions about Japan.

''Your constant remarks ruin your own statements.''

Anyways, I was shocked and somewhat relieved that my new acquaintance was a girl. At the same time, I was quite worried about her personality but it doesn’t matter.

''It does.''

Don’t ruin my gloomy happiness.

''How could you possibly come up with such contradictory pair of an adjective and a noun?''

That’s an oxymoron.

''Thanks for information, cap’n!''

That being said, I was pleasantly surprised that Shiina Ryo was able to keep up with each and every reference made by me. By the way, she knew in and out of Japanese imageboards kitchen and was pretty capable in controlling certain information’s flow. What a peculiar girl she was.

''Just like all girls you knew in your life.''

I wonder.

And so, with every day of our conversations I grew more and more interested in Shiina Ryo. She was a textbook example of a girl who could be a complete mystery, despite being so open on the matter of revealing private information. I can’t say that I’m an expert in reading girls’ hearts but she is a unique being. And that was what brought the misfortune on Shiina Ryo.

It’s said that abnormality is a magnet for another abnormality. I can just admit that wise phrase and blame this universe’s laws for a certain message sent by Ryo.

It was, after all, a SOS-call in only two words, ‘Help me”.

== Part 6 – The World ==

Long story short, Shiina Ryo was attacked. When she tried to open the door of her locker to retrieve her shoes, the trap was activated and it released a sleep gas which stole her consciousness. After that she was brought into hospital and there she underwent some analyses which ensured that gas hadn’t left any aftereffects.

Of course, it was just an official version, slightly corrected with my help and Shiina’s skills in controlling information. Fortunately, attacker didn’t seem to know in which locker her shoes were so he set up the trap in the wrong locker. Shiina ended up being the first to find poor unconscious girl and she brought help, hiding the note from the culprit. I guess she wasn’t to be underestimated because Shiina altered the name of the girl and managed to fool everyone until special news was released.

Right after first news with altered name of the girl appeared in the Internet, on the website was published a post which was a long-winded, theatrical warning to ''plotovercharacter'' and any of her helpers. It could have been just a coincidence, but I had lost all my hopes in such a possibility after all my ''adventures''. Therefore, my paranoia almost went into frenzy when DD for the first time commented something on his own site after learning the fact that Shiina was safe and sound. By the way, it was another warning which turned out to be more psychotic the latest post on the site.

With all these facts on my hands, I couldn’t have possibly ignored the report from police which informed me that in Japan occurred several cases of kidnappings with following mutilations of people. My kind and caring contact managed to send me a clear photo from scene of crime. And I wouldn’t advise anyone to look at that picture.

The most innocent murder was sinking an unfortunate guy in his blood bath. It was a usual crime, if there wasn’t one particular fact which made me worry about connections of the killer – poor boy had hemophilia. Due to that his body was dried to the point where you could think that there was a vampire running wild under darkness’s cover. By the way, the guy lost his parents in his early childhood and lived in specially allocated to him house with nurses working there without any holidays. His place wasn’t a secret but no one would be allowed to come near him for no reason. That obviously raised suspicions.

Other cases were more gruesome so I’ll omit details. The only common trait was that all victims had some illnesses like sepsis, leukemia, tuberculosis, etc. Other than that, police didn’t have any clues to the identity of mysterious killer. At the very least, not ordinary policemen.

I didn’t think that Interpol would be interested in some local psycho-murderer without any basis behind their investigation. After some search in the Internet I was able to find that there were similar cases in, at least, three other countries aside from Japan. Most likely, Interpol was monitoring DD’s site in order to make sure that it was just a prank, and now, with that idiotic post, Death Drive just released a bunch of piranhas into his moody lake of horrors.

However, I would have cast aside all those troublesome attempts to search for any valuable information if Shiina Ryo hadn’t requested me to do it. She believed that Death Drive declared her a war, and decided to come up with a counter-plan. And my long hours of surfing the Internet were for that purpose.

When I asked her in the chatroom, what her plan would be based on, Shiina answered me with her exceptional speed of writing:

‘Game theory, of course. :3’

Just to elaborate the thought in simple terms, game theory was a study which was used mainly for marketing, and its main priority was to help people to make decisions with more preciseness due to calculating chances of making profit and simulating all possible options. Or, rather, it simply studied the very matter of decision making. Game theory was quite a strong footing for a plan, but there was one flaw – all calculations were made with assumption that opponents were rational beings. Shiina’s answer on that question made me wonder if she was a genius or just a naïve simpleton.

“Yes, my odds would be low if I were the only rational player here. But I’ve never said that I’m just a rational girl without any tricks in my sleeves. :3’

There was only one thing left after her nonchalant message, and I never regretted my idea despite it leaving a bad taste in my mouth. When the request for information was sent to my contact, I could do nothing but patiently wait for the answer.

Who knew that after receiving new message with needed Intel of some sort I would write down a warning to Death Drive with a start?

In the end of the day, contents of my comment were simple:

‘KEN’s in the game.’

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 2 – First note

2012-10-14T03:37:03Z

Ryuno: Created page with "== Part 1 - Puppets == The scene hadn’t changed. Waitresses were restlessly walking to and fro between tables trying to raise more money than their fellow workers. Clients..."

== Part 1 - Puppets ==
The scene hadn’t changed.

Waitresses were restlessly walking to and fro between tables trying to raise more money than their fellow workers.

Clients were sitting on their seats, spending their precious free time by discussing topics which caught their eyes or ears today.

Weather remained the same; enormous grayish-white clouds could be seen on the sky under warm sun.

The only thing that changed was time.

A moment ago Shin-tsu had a sad look on his face knowing that we had reached dead end.

Hours later he was standing in the café, stealing all possible spotlights to him with his strange shout.

I casually walked past him to my seat and sighed, knowing that even small difference in my reaction won’t be left unnoticed by him and this chaotic world. And it wasn’t.

“Have you jumped?” Shin-tsu simply asked me, waving off the waitress. His fingers knocked on the table in simple rhythm while he lightly sat on his seat.

I slowly nodded my head, making mental note about his lack of surprise.

“Yeah. You just got to the part where you opened some website.” I slightly leaned forward with light frown. “And then your paranoia put its foot in it.”

“I see.” Shin-tsu didn’t even bat his eyelash taking in my remark. His behavior was intriguing, making me wonder just how prepared he was. “I’ll continue from that point onwards, then. Any question?”

“Shin-tsu, you once said that you were traveling with your parents until now, right?”

“Just a guess, you heard about it from Ryo?”

“Not important. But my question remains the same.”

“Okay, I did. So?”

“And your story implied that you were in Sicily on your own, without parents.”

“Did it really?” Shin-tsu tilted his head to the side. His eyes closed for a moment before focusing on me. “Let’s think that it did.”

“Don’t you think that it’s contradictory? At first you said that you were alone for the first time, and now you admitted that you weren’t in anyone’s care in Sicily. What’s the truth?”

“Can’t it be both? Not that it matters anyway. Besides you could have asked Ryo for details.” On his face appeared infuriating smirk of someone who knows how to use someone’s soft points.

I gritted my teeth knowing that I had nothing to answer. “I couldn’t.”

“Really? If you want to regain trust, you need to take initiative in your own hands. You weren’t afraid of psycho but now you fear to lose your best friend due to distrust? I thought that with your power you knew better how to take risks.”

“Shin-tsu.” My voice turned into growl at some point and my irritation leaked in it. He sighed and shook his head.

“Alright. I won’t push my luck further.” He paused and watched me taking a sip from my cup. When my cup returned to the saucer, Shin-tsu closed his eyes.

The story continued.

== Part 2 – Son et Lumiere. ==
The site certainly was eerie. On the dark blue opening page was a scarlet sign of enormous snake swallowing its own tail with two capital letters D written in Gothic font under it. And there was nothing else beside it. No self-advertisement, no welcoming words. It only added to the feeling of repulsion some negative points.

''So what will you do, o brave warrior of light? Will you choose the light of purification or will you prefer the darkness of succumbing to your fears? ''

I do recall that the author never wrote about warrior of light fighting without thinking. He even noted that if you feel that the battle couldn’t be won you should retreat and regroup. So don’t you make references if you don’t even know what was said in the book!

''Yeah, yeah. Our kid is so weak-willed that he cannot even admit that he’s coward. ''

Listen, are you sure that you’re not a female? Your logic is incomprehensible.

''Since when you started wondering about my gender? Aren’t you a feminist? ''

So that’s how it is. Oh dear, your reaction completely gives you away-

''I didn’t know that you’re as crazy as to actually try to fool something in your mind.''

…What a pity, I was so close. It was worth a shot, I guess. By the way, I have the right to know what exactly is in the back of my head, don’t you agree? Besides, if you’re female then it could even enhance my theory that you’re something that completes me. Something like Yin and Yang in Oriental philosophy.

''…''

You know that odd silence emphasized by such combination of symbols looks even stranger that it already was?

''…Finally…''

Eh, what’s with your reaction? Why you sounded like I made the biggest revelation in my life jumping out of bath and crying out “Eureka!” from the top of my lungs? Never mind, though. I think I wouldn’t like what you’ll say now.

''Whatever you want. Enjoy yourself in silence.''

The voice disappeared leaving me one-on-one with page of the website. I intently looked at the display as if trying to open next page via non-direct means without any hope that I’ll succeed. Yet, my efforts ended up being awarded, much to my surprise.

On the page appeared white blank space which most likely required password to pass through it. I glanced at the sheet of paper on the table but there was nothing except for the list of websites. That could only mean one thing. I needed to seriously wreck my brains.

Obviously, hints must be understandable enough to let people pass through that barrier but it shouldn't be too easy to be solved. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts fill my mind.

''The sign of snake could be only Ouroboros since that must’ve been heard by most people. That symbol was associated with reincarnation circle which was linking life, death and the borderline between them. Most likely, that was where first key word was lying.''

My fingers typed down the word ‘Death’ without waiting for my command.

''Yet, the number of letters implies that there must be second part. The snake as mystic symbol had two opposite meanings – death and life. Countless men were saved by crucifix with snake on it in Bible. The exuviation made people think of snake as symbol of rebirth. So what was linking these meanings?''

My fingers left keyboard and rested on the flat and shining surface of the desk. That thought seemed to be fruitless but I didn’t intend to give up at that point.

''Returning back to Ouroboros, I do recall that in certain anime several characters had that sign on various parts of their bodies. If I’m not mistaken then their names were seven deadly sins which were establishing their characters. By the way, that sign was kind of ironic taking into account the fact that they were being killed over and over again. A pity that anime didn’t quite follow its original source.''

I suddenly shivered. There was a certain feeling that I was close to solving the riddle behind that sign which sent chills down my spine. My trembling fingers lay on the keyboard, ready to type down next word.

''It’s unlikely that my body reacted on the word anime since I’m not otaku and certainly not anime-hater. So what was it? Multiple deaths of characters? Nah, I don’t think that the key words would be as ridiculous as Death Decimals. Parts of body? Unlikely. Or, maybe, was it linked to cardinal sins that played as driving force which led them…?'' 
''Driving force.'' 
''Drive.''

My eyes immediately opened and my fingers finally let the final piece of the riddle appear on the blank place. Light click of the Enter button sent the password for confirmation and the page started its change.

The contents of new page made me really question the sanity of my doctors.

And it in brutal way explained why the creator of the site had chosen these key words.

After all, the death was everything for that site.

== Part 3 – Darts ==

Stopping to take a little breather for his lungs Shin-tsu slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. His gaze wasn’t tender nor it was piercing, it gave out only tiredness with triumph. I decided to wash it away in my own manner.

“Shin-tsu.”

“Yes?”

“You know, that site was working on invite system.”

His eyes betrayed his shock against his will. “So I spent that time on coming up with ideas which made me sound like a certain protagonist of some light novel with light in his hand when I could have just searched for keywords in giggle.com!?”

“Precisely.”

Shin-tsu clutched his head with his hands. The silence between us would be filled with chatter of clients and other sounds of environment if not for us shutting out the entire world except for our small table. Finally, he lifted his head and suppressed his silent rage. I could see in his eyes how Shin-tsu was planning to torture that psycho in all ways possible. Death Drive was certainly lucky to be truly dead at this moment.

“I wouldn’t have felt this miserable if you hadn’t wished to give me a cold shoulder.”

“You dug yourself a grave with your own hands. Or should I say, with your own tongue and brains?”

“Alright, you won this round, I admit it. Let’s continue then?”

“Of course.”

== Part 4 – DDevil ==

First video was relatively normal. The man was hanging around on the rope and then he magically was revived by the creator of site who most likely used the make-up to hide his identity.

Second video was already cruel. Young girl was being drowned in the bath for five minutes until she lost consciousness, and then she was returned back to life after Death Drive’s light touch to girl’s bare skin.

And third video was over the top, since featured creator, who had such terrible taste in making up nicknames, underwent twisted kind of masochistic massage by being pierced by dozen of forks, knives and other pointy objects over and over again. The performance wasn’t for normal teenagers who didn’t like horrors. After all, bald pale male, who looked like he came from iconic film which should’ve been another adaptation of Dracula’s story originally, wasn’t the best man to look at before going to bed.

I took it in my stride; I’ve seen worse things in my life, after all. But there were two things that I couldn’t overlook.

First of all, he was unbelievably good with filming these videos. Every scene was terrifyingly close to cruel reality and I, of all people, never felt that something was fake. That peculiar fact made me wonder if so-called and self-proclaimed Death Drive was such genius in acting that he could easily be the star of Hollywood’s horrors. But then, while his ideas were old and used, the execution was way too good for someone who only watched films and never had any practice with real ''prototypes''. It might’ve been just me simply reading too much in banal video, but I ticked my suspicions in my mind. Also, just to make sure that everything was alright, I’ve written an e-mail to one of my contacts from Japanese police; it appeared that while site was for international use, most part of it was in Japanese. Creating myself convenient back-up never could be a bad idea when you have a tendency to put your foot in others’ business with sad aftermath, after all.

And the second and the worst part of my simple, yet twisted reasoning was people’s reaction. It varied from revolting due to his cruel and immoral deeds to respecting him for his ‘brave’ step against stereotypes. Yet, they all had one point in which they were united; they all seemed to believe that his tricks were mystical, not knowing how to pull off such magic with their own hands. Granted, I was exaggerating. There still were some of them who were skeptical and didn’t accept such foolish explanation with illogical reasoning. However, their standing was unstable and not convincing either, since they couldn’t give any other theories with only one particular exception.

And I didn’t like that. If I was involved because of my blood or my misfortune, then be it, I don’t really care. But I won’t let it slide if someone else will get into that damned darkness just because of some idiot who was careless enough to be mysterious in the world where Mystery and darkness was reigning.

''How noble. Where was the last time when you opened your comics about these superheroes?''

And I just thought that you’d let me enjoy my time while you’re absent.

''I changed my heart. I guess, I need to get used to your uncanny ability to overlook obvious signs and momentarily notice unneeded details.''

I’m flattered.

''Don’t be. I’ll make sure to contaminate your mind with my pleasant, cold, loud and annoying presence.''

…Your words just don’t make sense. Are you really female? Your logic…

''It won’t work this time. ''

Damn it.

''Bear with me. You’ll run away anyway. Just make sure to be in white.''

…Huh? Oh well, I don’t care. I still have my own business.

Not letting mysterious voice reach my ears, – absurd idea, if the voice was in the back of my head, I know – I opened registration form and smirked. The plan was already in my mind, so I simply needed someone who’ll spark discussions.

And I already knew who was a suitable person.

After all, that person’s nickname was ''plotovercharacter''.

== Part 5 – Know Why The Nightingale Sings? ==

When Shin-tsu finished telling this part of story, his eyes slowly opened, taking in weak sunlight. Slight smile was playing on his lips as if he was enjoying his little prank. Why he did it purposefully was still escaping my mind, though. He knew that I’ll notice that detail right away, after all.

“Shin-tsu.” His smile was childish, much like Ryo’s.

“Yes, Kouma?”

“I’m not flattered.”

“You really see through me.” His smile grew wider, turning itself from amused to apologetic. “Sorry for my little joke.”

“I may be willing to forgive but the time isn’t.”

“Oh, right. I won’t stop you then, Chaeremon.” With a smug smirk which didn’t fit him, Shin-tsu crossed his arms on his chest.

“Silly reference.”

My fingers lightly touched my cup of tea.

And the time began anew.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-10-14T03:20:04Z

Ryuno:

[[Image: Ryodraft.jpg‎ |thumb|Shiina Ryo, draft by kyuu]]
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is a light novel series written by [http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com/ Ryuno].

==Story Synopsis==
A teenager who has always found himself involved in mysteries and unusual situations decides to move to the town where his only friend (a girl he met online) lives and starts living by himself. At first he is unsure whether it’s going to be a place where he can finally lead the normal life he always dreamed of or if it’s going to be just another place he’ll eventually run away from. The town turns out to be everything the doctor prescribed and he starts falling in love with his friend, making new (and unique) friends and getting the support he has craved for so long. What could go wrong?

Just what he feared the most.

== Editing ==
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is an Original English Language light novel written by an author whose mother language is not English, therefore mistakes can (and most likely will) occur. Correction of grammatical errors is welcomed and encouraged as long as the editor also posts an explanation of what was corrected in the talk page, in order to help the author to avoid future mistakes.

== Updates ==
*Novel 2 chapter releases are scheduled to be weekly.

==''The Longing Of Shiina Ryo '' by Ryuno==

===Volume 1 - first week case [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/The%20Longing%20Of%20Shiina%20Ryo.pdf PDF]===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 1: Ryo|Chapter 1: Ryo]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 2: Reikoku|Chapter 2: Reikoku]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 3: Kouma|Chapter 3: Kouma]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 4: Ayaka|Chapter 4: Ayaka]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 1.5 - Extra story===
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 metamonogatari|metamonogatari]]

===Volume 2 - d.m.c. [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/TheLongingofShiinaRyovol2d.m.c.pdf PDF] ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi|Chapter 1: Megumi]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane|Chapter 2: Akane]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin|Chapter 3: Rin]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 3 - time to heal ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*'''Chapter 1: Purpose: The Flawless Execution of Kouma Yon and A Certain Teacher’s Mr. Heaven'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 002|002]]

===Bonus Disc===
*'''Red Orchestra, by Cyul and Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Tuning - Colision Course|Tuning - Colision Course]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 1 - Strings|Chapter 1 - Strings]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 2 – First note|Chapter 2 – First note]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 3 – Overture|Chapter 3 – Overture]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 4 – Red Orchestra|Chapter 4 – Red Orchestra]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Afterword|Afterword]]
*'''Hawk eye and Rainbow Girl, by Gilles'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl|Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl]]
*'''Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun, by Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun 1st date: Shiina Ryo|1st date: Shiina Ryo]]
==Project Staff==

*Project Administrator: [[user:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
*Project Editor: Zehava
[[Category:Hosted Projects]]
[[Category:Original]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 1 - Strings

2012-10-14T03:15:38Z

Ryuno: Created page with "== Part 1 – Butterflies and hurricanes. == Pranks were common for me since the moment I decided to protect Ryo. They were naïve, funny and sometimes not, and childish. I n..."

== Part 1 – Butterflies and hurricanes. ==

Pranks were common for me since the moment I decided to protect Ryo. They were naïve, funny and sometimes not, and childish. I never had a grudge against Ryo, since she always tried her best to not overdo with her jokes even if she sometimes wasn’t able to. Of course, for me, not used to pranks, it was hard to refrain from getting angry; we were children, despite being peculiar existences. But I slowly, through mental and physical training grew to accepting everything with its flaws, to become what I’ve become.

"I'M IN DESPAIR!"

So, my very first reaction when I saw Shin-tsu’s strange behavior… no, when I heard his shout, was to freeze on the spot, staring at him blankly. I could only hope that I hadn’t opened my mouth to its maximum capacity without realizing it.

They say that people are very sensitive to environment so their reactions differ in different places. And I was unable to prove that theory wrong since it really was crucial factor for rendering me speechless. It was one thing to shout at air in open space without any people near you, but it was completely different to do it in the café full of clients.

At first, their reaction was the same as mine, but what stunned me was the fact that they actually started laughing sincerely, without any ill intentions in their voices, and the shout sparkled some whispers which were along these lines, “It’s him again!”, “So, is that girl the one who played along with him?”, “I think it was a different girl last time.”

I breathed in trying to calm down through breathing exercises. So he decided to invite me to Le Ciel Bleu just to mentally attack me even before our conversation, using butterfly effect by reenacting his first meeting with Ryo as a weapon? The changes in varieties were too drastic for that, though.

After five seconds of silence, which was now reigning in café because we with Shin-tsu became the targets of public attention, sounds of my footsteps finally reappeared. I slowly walked to his table, making sure to observe his slightest changes in posture.

“Bring us one cup of green tea and a cup of Cappuccino, please.” I voiced the order addressing it to thirty-year old maid with car-ears on her head who was near us. She pressed her dry lips together releasing ‘myu’ sound in the process, turned around and went to bar counter. I seated myself and gestured Shi-tsu towards his seat. “So what was with that little play?”

Shin-tsu, who slightly moved his hand as if drawing the pistol out of its holster like a cowboy from Westerns, nodded his head and followed the suit. He visibly relaxed when he felt that others’ gazes finally lost interest to him. “I just tried another approach.”

”To what?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Results?”

“Not determined yet.”

After first round of our usual banter, he intently looked in my eyes as if trying to test the saying ‘Eyes are the mirror of the soul’. I returned the favor with calm gaze, and that silent battle was broken only after return of waitress who with visible accumulated stress put cups with heated liquids on our table. She gulped feeling that she was now the target of our gazes and silently retreated back to bar counter.

“You still distrust me, Shin-tsu?” My question sounded more like a statement or an axiom.

“Yes, I do. Sorry, if I sound like a religious fanatic but almost omnipresent being is to be believed in, not to be trusted.”

“Didn’t you yourself test my abilities and my explanation using force?”

“And I only know that part of your words were truth.” Shin-tsu sighed and rested his hands on the table with a troubled expression. “Look, I simply can’t understand if even this conversation is just continuation of our mind games.”

I unconsciously let my nails to draw the blood from my palms. “Only if you’ll make it one.”

He sighed and I knew – he already noticed red trace of blood on my wrist. His face told me much more than he intended to reveal with his words. He definitely was troubled by current predicament in our bonds but he tried to erase that from his mind by evading the process of solving problems. And that raised one question in my mind again, was he always like that? Was his entire life the ceaseless circle of escapism?

His next words forced me to pay more attention to him. “When I met Ryo for the first time, I was spacing out and she was trying to ignore the silence and my nervousness. Now, the situation is reverse... Well, it’s not important. You wanted to hear something older, right?”

I focused, and adding slight hint of curiosity in my voice said. “Straight to the topic, aren’t you? You’re right. I know only small details from Ryo, and I learned something while that bloody mess in school was unfolding. But that’s not enough to close the experiment.”

“Still on that record? Whatever. So, you wish to listen to my side of that story?”

“Points are reduced for needless questions.”

“…you want me to use a tsukkomi retort?”

“You’ll make a bad straight man.”

Shin-tsu rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. The tense atmosphere started to fade away but its presence was still clear. “Alright, alright. Don’t make that face as if you had eaten a lemon and a overly hot red pepper simultaneously.”

I guess my face twisted in a way which was described by Shin-tsu. But it was only because I didn’t really comprehend his parallels. They were simply unimaginable.

“Proceed, please. Let’s not waste our time for pointless remarks.” I took my cup from saucer and took a gulp of my tea which hadn’t lost its temperature yet. Shin-tsu’s eyes suddenly sparkled in a strange way, but I didn’t feel that there was any sort of somnifacient or poison in my cup. Besides, I made the order myself, so his gaze made me really interested in what kind of trap he set up.

“Yeah, the time is important.” Shin-tsu said with dark voice. He closed his eyes and continued, knowing that he had my attention with all the time in the world. “It happened a year ago…”

== Part 2 – Escape. ==

My first impression from my new mansion was that my family finally decided to buy me a normal apartment, ignoring the fact that small house was for my personal and exclusive use.

It was an ordinary old building without any fancy decorations on it, just natural surface of bricks – or was the original material for walls stone? A wooden door greeted me with its simple design coming straight from Medieval. And the only anachronism here, which reminded me that I was living in the age of active technical progress, was modern plastic windows. Or, rather, it would have been, if not for antenna on the flat rooftop of the building.

I inadvertently sighed and decided against spacing out in the middle of the street. Besides, my heavy luggage and impatient taxi driver was pretty good in dragging me out of day-dreaming. Fortunately, I was able to tolerate such joy-killers. I needed to savor the short moments of silence in the back of my head.

“Excuse me, would you mind helping me with luggage?” I asked the driver, oblivious to the fact that he was trying to get my attention by using the very same question. He nodded and lifted first box on his left shoulder.

I took a moment to recall where I’d put my key and then slightly accelerated from standing still. After walking to the door I inserted a small piece of iron in the keyhole and turned it twice. The lock clicked.

I opened the door and stepped to the side letting the driver go in. He calmly climbed four small stairs, carefully put the box on the floor, going outside to get the rest of my luggage immediately afterwards. And I followed him.

After five minutes of necessary weight-lifting we finished with our task and I gave the taxi driver money, expressing my gratitude. He nodded his head, counted notes and drove off with words said, “What a strange fellow.”

After seeing him off, I exhaled, closed the door and took a look at my new safe haven. My new house had only one storey and its size was just fine for a lone man. The corridor which led me into the living room was narrow and short, decorated like a cave. Boxes were scattered here and there, but I didn’t feel like moving them in more spacious rooms. It wasn’t that important for now.

The living room was quite big for such small-looking mansion and it utterly crushed my hopes for standard house. The ceiling here still looked like the inner-top part of cave, but it turned into usual flat surface made of wood and plastic on the half-way. The walls and floor were covered only by tiles of different colors. And old other furniture was modernized. Who could’ve thought that table for sewing machine would be a washstand? The effect of culture shock was pretty strong so I decided against exploring other rooms for now.

However, one thing caught my eyes. There was a nice computer in the corner of living room near big windows which rendered lights useless as of now. And it looked like modem was already connected to telephone line and to system unit…

''So that was the sole role of technical progress for you. Internet. ''

You appeared, huh.

''Not happy? Or you are more bothered by jet lag?''

Both. And you just destroyed my mood.

''Softy.''

I decided to simply ignore mysterious voice’s nagging and in low spirits walked to computer which was resting on the desk. A chair made a low sound when I sat down but it heroically endured my weight. As expected from Italian masters.

''Was it praise to them? ''

Don’t irritate me. Let me enjoy these calm moments until the storm.

The computer hummed. I leaned against the back of the chair patiently waiting for it to turn on. The display flickered and soon it finally showed me the desktop with its contents. I sat up, then slightly bent my back and started clicking on the shortcuts searching for Internet connection. It lasted until my gaze fell on the taskbar where I found out that the connection was ready to surfing even without my commands.

Feeling slightly discouraged by meaninglessness of my actions I clicked on the shortcut of certain fox browser and fished out of my pocket the note with a number of sites on it. They were recommended to me for ‘rehabilitation process’ by some doctors but I highly doubted their usefulness. Nevertheless, I needed to try, at the very least.

''Good boy. I’m so proud of you.''

Ignoring the voice which was enjoying itself I typed down an address of the first site. Browser’s page turned white then showed me a pink skin of musical forum. I scrolled it down and then, feeling how my eye brow twitched, I decided against signing up on the site. Pop music wasn’t my forte.

''Forte?''

You mean that it was kind of ironic to use that word in terms of my musical tastes?

''Sort of.''

Well, in my case it can be used both ways. Even though I know that the meaning by adding the word forte may be hit-or-miss pun when your listener is musician, I think the irony behind my use of such term could make a good impression on understanding people. By the way, I don’t particularly like melodies written entirely in forte, so I could safely say that forte isn’t my forte.

''Where did you steal that phrase from?''

You simply missed the point, didn’t you?

I sighed, closing the tab of the site, and pressed buttons of keyboard in slightly chaotic pattern. Next site greeted me with black skin and image of young girl with wings on her back. I gingerly opened one of the topics in hope that I could find something good on the site with such eerie tongue-twisting name. The idea wasn’t good for certain reasons. There were posts with only capital letters and I really couldn’t understand what they were talking about. Strange, I thought that I knew pretty much about that company’s games.

I looked at the small note which had five more sites on it. Each and every of them had mysterious titles, so I closed my eyes and spent some time recalling childish rhymes in hope that it’ll help me to choose a normal forum for making new acquaintances.

“Scout, Scout, Scout, Scout, you’re out.” In the end I ended up opening second site. And it became the start of the adventure which will forge the twisted bonds between infamous KEN, certain peculiar Japanese girl Shiina Ryo and crazy serial killer Death Drive.

== Part 3 – Hate This and I’ll Love You. ==

“Took you long enough to simply retell how you wasted ten minutes or so of your life in Sicily.” I sighed tiredly, interrupting the flow of his story. Shin-tsu finally opened his eyes as if I took him out of trance.

“I guess, I got carried away by details.” He smiled with serene face and I suddenly noticed pouches under his eyes. Did he sleep last night or did he spend that time just for the sake of cooking up the story to appease me? I doubted it since he told the story just like he did in Ayaka’s case but…

I never had the time to finish my thought.

“So your deduction works just perfectly.” He suddenly sat up and frowned, leaving no trace of his previous expression on his face. Hopefully, it wasn’t in a way he did last time but his words which appeared out of blue still stunned me. I took a breath to return to my calm state of mind.

“Such architecture is typical to Sicily. Cave-like ceiling, odd mix of ancient style and modern and you mentioned Italian masters. Besides, I did my research on Sicily while we with Ryo were working on concepts.” I slowly explained reasons for my lucky guess. Yet, my words still sounded like an excuse on the interrogation. Did their trial really affect me in such way for the time being?

I rubbed my temples and used harsh tone to return conversation back on its tracks. “And quit your games, please. I didn’t come all the way here just to be interrogated. We already decided what would be the price for that information, didn’t we?”

“Sorry, I still need to cool off.” Shin-tsu suddenly lowered his head in short bow. I sighed and relaxed, only now realizing that my entire body was tensed up.

“Apologies accepted.”

“Am I really forgiven?”

“And am I?”

“…”

Our conversation came to its dead end. I understood deep inside that there was no point in continuing from this point so I lightly touched my cup of tea which had long since cooled down. Shin-tsu looked at my hand and exasperatedly leaned against the back of his seat.

“I guess my time is out?”

“You’re right.”

And that sentence marked the end of our conversation.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-10-14T03:09:19Z

Ryuno:

[[Image: Ryodraft.jpg‎ |thumb|Shiina Ryo, draft by kyuu]]
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is a light novel series written by [http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com/ Ryuno].

==Story Synopsis==
A teenager who has always found himself involved in mysteries and unusual situations decides to move to the town where his only friend (a girl he met online) lives and starts living by himself. At first he is unsure whether it’s going to be a place where he can finally lead the normal life he always dreamed of or if it’s going to be just another place he’ll eventually run away from. The town turns out to be everything the doctor prescribed and he starts falling in love with his friend, making new (and unique) friends and getting the support he has craved for so long. What could go wrong?

Just what he feared the most.

== Editing ==
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is an Original English Language light novel written by an author whose mother language is not English, therefore mistakes can (and most likely will) occur. Correction of grammatical errors is welcomed and encouraged as long as the editor also posts an explanation of what was corrected in the talk page, in order to help the author to avoid future mistakes.

== Updates ==
*Novel 2 chapter releases are scheduled to be weekly.

==''The Longing Of Shiina Ryo '' by Ryuno==

===Volume 1 - first week case [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/The%20Longing%20Of%20Shiina%20Ryo.pdf PDF]===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 1: Ryo|Chapter 1: Ryo]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 2: Reikoku|Chapter 2: Reikoku]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 3: Kouma|Chapter 3: Kouma]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 4: Ayaka|Chapter 4: Ayaka]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 1.5 - Extra story===
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 metamonogatari|metamonogatari]]

===Volume 2 - d.m.c. [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/TheLongingofShiinaRyovol2d.m.c.pdf PDF] ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi|Chapter 1: Megumi]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane|Chapter 2: Akane]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin|Chapter 3: Rin]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 3 - time to heal ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*'''Chapter 1: Purpose: The Flawless Execution of Kouma Yon and A Certain Teacher’s Mr. Heaven'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 002|002]]

===Bonus Disc===
*'''Red Orchestra, by Cyul and Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Tuning - Colision Course|Tuning - Colision Course]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Chapter 1 - Strings|Chapter 1 - Strings]]
*'''Hawk eye and Rainbow Girl, by Gilles'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl|Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl]]
*'''Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun, by Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun 1st date: Shiina Ryo|1st date: Shiina Ryo]]
==Project Staff==

*Project Administrator: [[user:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
*Project Editor: Zehava
[[Category:Hosted Projects]]
[[Category:Original]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-09-27T14:41:59Z

Ryuno: Added PDF file for novel 2

[[Image: Ryodraft.jpg‎ |thumb|Shiina Ryo, draft by kyuu]]
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is a light novel series written by [http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com/ Ryuno].

==Story Synopsis==
A teenager who has always found himself involved in mysteries and unusual situations decides to move to the town where his only friend (a girl he met online) lives and starts living by himself. At first he is unsure whether it’s going to be a place where he can finally lead the normal life he always dreamed of or if it’s going to be just another place he’ll eventually run away from. The town turns out to be everything the doctor prescribed and he starts falling in love with his friend, making new (and unique) friends and getting the support he has craved for so long. What could go wrong?

Just what he feared the most.

== Editing ==
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is an Original English Language light novel written by an author whose mother language is not English, therefore mistakes can (and most likely will) occur. Correction of grammatical errors is welcomed and encouraged as long as the editor also posts an explanation of what was corrected in the talk page, in order to help the author to avoid future mistakes.

== Updates ==
*Novel 2 chapter releases are scheduled to be weekly.

==''The Longing Of Shiina Ryo '' by Ryuno==

===Volume 1 - first week case [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/The%20Longing%20Of%20Shiina%20Ryo.pdf PDF]===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 1: Ryo|Chapter 1: Ryo]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 2: Reikoku|Chapter 2: Reikoku]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 3: Kouma|Chapter 3: Kouma]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 4: Ayaka|Chapter 4: Ayaka]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 1.5 - Extra story===
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 metamonogatari|metamonogatari]]

===Volume 2 - d.m.c. [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/TheLongingofShiinaRyovol2d.m.c.pdf PDF] ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi|Chapter 1: Megumi]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane|Chapter 2: Akane]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin|Chapter 3: Rin]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 3 - time to heal ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*'''Chapter 1: Purpose: The Flawless Execution of Kouma Yon and A Certain Teacher’s Mr. Heaven'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 002|002]]

===Bonus Disc===
*'''Red Orchestra, by Cyul and Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Tuning - Colision Course|Tuning - Colision Course]]
*'''Hawk eye and Rainbow Girl, by Gilles'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl|Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl]]
*'''Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun, by Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun 1st date: Shiina Ryo|1st date: Shiina Ryo]]
==Project Staff==

*Project Administrator: [[user:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
*Project Editor: Zehava
[[Category:Hosted Projects]]
[[Category:Original]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume3 001

2012-09-05T21:23:27Z

Ryuno:

Greetings, my pupil.

The one writing this is your beloved teacher who goes by the name Honne Reikoku during my stay in this country, although if changing it was possible I would have; I only realized my mistake in picking such a name when on my third day teaching I was given the nickname ‘Professor Honey’, first in a really poor pronunciation of the English word and then ‘Mitsu-sensei’, the Japanese equivalent. While even today I cannot put my finger on ‘why’, it annoyed me instantly or at least enough for me to hit my treasured pointer against the table with enough strength to damage both, forcing me to start carrying around my current telescopic one.

Needless to say, I got reprimanded for my reckless actions and from that point on I would always count down when upset, as I have been told to do so by my supervisor. Doing it out loud has proven to be marvelously effective, so I assume this was good advice. The most remarkable of the times I had to do it was when, two years ago, someone found amusing to change ''‘Mitsu’'' for ''‘Tsumi’'', as in ‘sin’, which is quite a juvenile pun if you ask me; the reason why you never heard of any of these occurrences before only proves my supervisor’s point, counting down really does wonders.

Chances are I’m dead if you’re reading this message, and this is one particular cliché I would personally love to avoid. Not to say clichés are bad, if I thought that way I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my favorite movies or even talking to you. The reason is simple: to an extent I know you better than you know me and this is not how I wanted things between us to be.

That statement might require some explanation from my side.

Disregarding ‘Koukishin Shinzou’, I don’t know by which name or alias you are being called these days, which is not anything to be amazed at, considering how many of them you seem to have had over the past years while I wasn’t around. Even though I did my best to stay out of your way in order not to involve you into this ever-changing spiral of strange unusual happenings, both you and our brother were constantly drawn towards the magnetic appeal of fate.

Yes, as you probably considered before, I am your sister.

…

Just kidding!

…

Except I’m not. I really, really am your sister. No, seriously.

If this strikes you as a huge surprise I’ll be thoroughly, presumably posthumously disappointed. Not to say I set any particular flag of it for you to pick on but you seemed to have an uncanny ability to tell those things that goes far beyond the common man’s awareness range. It’s what I like the most about you and is exactly why I do my best to have fun with you when it comes to analyzing things. Be it a supernatural power or not, I am counting on that to help keeping you alive. Which is good and surely essential to your survival, considering how single-minded you can be most of the time; don’t take this as a disguised compliment as it’s usual with me, this half-joke carries a truth you should work on.

While I cannot say us meeting and getting to a certain degree of involvement was just a fortunate/unfortunate coincidence, you may rest assured that I had no intention of reaching out to you as a family member. I don’t see the world in that light and to me blood relations are just that and nothing else, although our shared destiny and trials may try and prove me otherwise multiple times. Even now I am only revealing it because it is convenient to me, so you really should not to think of yours truly as a saint; I just happened to fight monsters, as I presume you chose to by this point yourself and ''for'' yourself.

It doesn’t matter one bit at the end of the day.

The real reason why I am telling you about our family ties is because having you learn everything from scratch at this point of the game would probably be highly counterproductive and I already wasted my time by having to do it all alone when it was my turn. No, can’t have you let my research go to waste. Sorry about that, you are going to be lectured by your very possibly late teacher, hopefully before it’s too late to make a difference.

You will come to realize it’s absolutely important not to be on your own when it’s you against the world. I have a very small but reliable network. Three persons I can rely on, people that will most likely come, look for me and aid you when they notice I’m deader than disco. I assume I am entitled to drop lines like that left and right, it’s my funeral party after all and I’ll laugh if I want to.

Would make a great zombie movie, wouldn’t it? If I came back as such, would you have it in you to kill m…

Never mind. The answer is obvious, you ''are'' you after all: the moment I turned into some inhuman monster, you wouldn’t rest until I was resting in pieces. If I tried killing you as a human you would restrain me and that’s it, if some guy attacked a loved one of yours you would sacrifice yourself to defeat him yet the moment you see something otherworldly you get so ready to kill you get scared of how far you can go. And you don’t even need to be strong, but I can see why you’d prefer to: raising your chances of using your own strengths limits your chances of using friends as sacrificial pawns.

I won’t say I agree with that fully when it comes to war, but it’s a flaw in you I can respect and be proud of.

It’s kind of ridiculous how life ruined you and it was also extremely obvious that you learned, and reasonably well, my fighting style in order to be able to fight worse than you can although better than you’re willing to against humans; going barehanded would result in your death and imminent mission failure, but even after seeing me go against the guy in the alley you still think your true way is far more lethal than mine.

This made me want to spend more time with you and I am terribly sorry I couldn’t. As someone who is quickly becoming an adult, you should be able to understand me when I say there are things we must do and the things we want to do. Most of the times the first takes precedence and it kills us a bit more every time. Even so, I wish it would not happen to you. I wish I could have watched more shows and movies with you, played more games with you, taken you outside to go somewhere and just stargaze, talked about the girls you’ve been interested in and be overprotective, discussed philosophy and chitchat, eaten more of your cooking and maybe learned a thing or two from you about it so I wouldn’t have to live off convenience store food, smiled at you as you held the rings as a page boy pretending it was against your will and that you weren’t happy to see me getting married.

Above all, even if I could trade those for just one, I wanted to have been there whenever you felt down and unloved, whenever the burden you carried was simply way too heavy for a child and held you in my arms like the baby brother I was not able to see growing up.

I’m sorry.

Whatever you do now is up to you. I cannot physically force you to carry on my plan, but if it came to me being taken down after all the time I spent working on it you should really consider if that is the best idea. For now, it can be contained: this syndrome doesn’t have to spread any further; it doesn’t have to become the worst plague that ever afflicted mankind and might end it up for real. You know the value of a life better than I do.

So do what you know is right, beyond good or evil.

I’d prefer if you didn’t read this part out loud, in case you are in the company of the girls: you’re usually right from the start but cannot prove your point because you have no verifiable evidence, and your main flaw is to let other people change your views based on whatever half-baked excuse they can provide; a scientific mind always questions, indeed, but there is no point in over-analyzing everything to hell and back when you already have an answer.

Trust yourself. I know I do.

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| Back to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 002|002]]
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</noinclude>

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume3 002

2012-09-05T21:16:21Z

Ryuno: 8315 words. Jesus.

When I was done reading it all loud and clear, I gave Ryo a nod telling her it was okay for her to speak her mind even though we both and quite possibly the bound and gagged Kouma in front of us too knew everything what she would say. It was undeniable for anyone with half a brain.

“No matter how you look at it, she was trying to use you.” 

This happened in the second floor of my house during the week that followed the festival that got known on national television mostly due to the Death Drive incident. Of the beings involved in that conversation, one was now a kidnapper; the second was a runaway and the third was being held back by belts to ensure she had absolutely no chance of harming the other two in any way.

The irony in the fact the kidnapped one and only person of the trio whose motions were restrained was indeed the most dangerous of us reached ridiculous levels.

How far we had come from being together in class, eating lunch on the school building rooftop or relaxing together on ''Le Ciel Bleu''? Hell, just how far had we come from fighting together against an otherworldly creature inside a warehouse?

There stood the three of us, the quintessential manifestation of the Japanese aesthetic ''Wabi-Sabi'' worldview: based on the concept of transience, this concept that came from the Buddhist’s ‘Three Marks of Existence’ glorified imperfect things such as me, impermanent ones such as Shiina Ryo and the incomplete ones like Kouma Yon. On many levels it was all about how raw and asymmetrical all things could be but not necessarily about how far one could push art before it was grotesque. Different from Dada or modern anti-art movements, the culture Kouma Yon referenced whenever she explained what I believed to be her personal philosophy on the cafe was about inherent flawed beauty and mostly focused on how time would pass us all.

In a similar way, as it was, the former relationship between the three of us could no longer possibly last: Kouma had used me and also lied to and hid information from both of us. It was safe to assume Reikoku-sensei’s state could have been prevented with her powers and thus she, consciously or not, chose not to. It was blood on her hands.

Things would never, ever be the same.

So when she showed up at my door I was ready for the worst and prepared myself to kill or die once more, quite possibly both because I was still me and all. However, she assured me all she needed was to see Ryo and was willing to do anything for that. At that point I asked if she told anyone she was coming to see me and before she could finish her answer denying it like I knew she would whether it was true or not, I knocked her out quickly and ensured she had no concealed tracking devices on her.

How I did it is absolutely irrelevant, not worth mentioning in any way.

Even though she seemed surprised as she woke up covered in a sheet tied by belts so she couldn’t move and her mouth muffled with tape and cloth, I still had to consider it was all part of an insanely complex plan of hers. There was a chance she lied about the ‘save point’ limitation in her power or even if it was true, that she realized I would not tell her about Ryo’s hiding places even while tortured and decided to lure the girl here. There was no way I could keep her for long, someone with actual parents and now a rising flavor-of-the-week sub-celebrity, restrained at my home for long so I had to risk it one way or another. As I needed to know how deep it was I chose to inform her I would bring Ryo to a meeting later.

The only condition was that we, Ryo and I, would judge her for what she did and decide her fate. Not like she had much of a choice, but she nodded in affirmation and it led to the current situation in which I told Ryo she could come out of the hiding spot only the two of us knew. Ryo and I in chairs on one side of the room from where we could observe every moment and Kouma alone with her stomach down and limbs completely tied up.

“Ryo.” 
“Yes, Shin-tsu?” 
“Can we begin? I don’t know how long we have before her parents get worried or something.” 
“On my way here I gave them a call and told them we’d be working together on something and she’d probably sleep at my place later. Wouldn’t be the first time we did that, and even if they visit my place and no one is there, their first idea will be to call my phone. We can always improvise from that point on.” 

It was simple and effective; not perfect, but I was impressed with her continuous development.

“Good thinking.” 
“Thank you. Go on.” 

And so I turned around to face my hostage.

“Kouma, I know you liked Reikoku-sensei a lot. Even when you assumed I had some sort of relationship with her, you could only find fault in me for that, so I take it you respected and admired her considerably more than our average classmate, especially because it did not seem to come from fear or at least not the same sort of fear. When she proposed the mystery club thing, I thought you accepted with the sole purpose of protecting Ryo, but that wasn’t it, right? No, the way I phrased it was wrong. I mean, you wanted to protect Ryo alright, but it wasn’t from mystery... you knew she’d accept the offer and you knew more about it than I assumed you would. And I should have expected that, because if when she comforted you after Ayaka’s incident wasn’t enough of a sign, the fact you were not opposed to or question her disappearance at all should be. I can see Ryo overlooking this because the monsters-of-the-week are supposed to vanish after their defeat and the story about her parents going away could be perceived as ‘closure’, crude but no less than what’s expected from a weekly show or pulp fiction magazines that forfeit proper characterization and details in order to churn out more content in general, but I don’t see you accepting that.” 

The more I spoke, the harder Kouma Yon would lower her gaze in what I wasn’t sure if it could be called ‘shame’.

“Shin-tsu, if you put it that way...” Pondering over what I had said, Shiina Ryo scratched her left cheek gently. “Looking from your standpoint, I can understand why Kouma’s behavior was out-of-character for someone without any more information than the two of us indeed... but you unintentionally oversimplified my rationalization, big time: that kind of trope requires at least one more on-screen meeting between the main characters and the victim-of-the-week after the monster is defeated in which she should be shown to change her ways or at the very least comically lampshade the fact nothing changed but the supernatural activity aspect if she chooses to persist indulging in her troubling, erroneous ways. As it didn’t happen, I decided to use the Internet to gather data on her family and found out they were actually living somewhere other than this city, but for the whole past year. When I thought it couldn’t get any weirder, I found social network cached pages of a site that exploits vulnerabilities in public profiles that freaked me out a little.” 
“Wait, you didn’t mention it before.” 
“Someone was too busy having fun with the student council president and running away from me to listen.” 

Zing.

“Should have seen that coming.” She was exactly like me in many ways so I could not really hold it against her: I knew she was going to keep a grudge for a while. “I’m not trying to get away with it, but since we already discussed that subject before and even with your plan we should still assume we’re on a very limited time-frame here, so what did you find?” 

Ryo shook her head lightly.

“You couldn’t even if you wanted to. Jokes aside...” She said, and I knew my cute friend was not joking at all; she did forgive me, but an unspoken condition for that was I could never forget and make the same mistake twice. One could argue it meant she really, really liked me; there was no other reason to make sure I wouldn’t forget it that much. “...what I saw was Ayaka’s mother grieving over her recently deceased daughter in picture comments, posted halfway last year.” 

My vision started shaking as the migraine rose to alarming levels and I could even feel the veins in my face throbbing as blood rushed through them. I knew very well what that implied and it made me sick to my stomach.

“No way.” 

It just never ended.

“Way. She wasn’t in our school register database for this year either. Not in the web-site's file directory, not in the Principal ‘s personal computer and definitely not in any computer connected to the horribly-unsecured network inside the school’s infrastructure. For all the administration board knows, there was no Morimoto Ayaka in our classroom.” 
“How is that even-” At first I was worried about things like methods and then it kicked in, my numbness and dizziness gone in a second as I felt my eyes get sharper in a sense that I could swear was physical. “For this year, you say? Are you implying there are registers of her in previous years or other areas?” 

The catlike smile I adored so much glowed on her face.

“Just a brain warmer, I don’t want you getting dazed again any time soon because we have a long road of discussions ahead of us.” I couldn’t help but see what Kouma meant by me being biased, especially because if it was the fashionista doing the same short ‘mind game’ trick to me I would have not assumed it was innocent. Though, considering we were having a trial to understand whether she was guilty trying to get me killed or not right there and then, saying it was entirely baseless was a stretch too. “It seems Ayaka was a Reikoku-sensei’s student in the same class as Megumi and Akane. Have they ever mentioned anything to you?” 
“Not at all.” I stared at Kouma for a moment and wondered if the disapproval her face was trying to hide was because she was still tied, because we were closer to the truth or because Ryo was learning the bad custom to drop honorifics from me. Either way, the best she could do at the time was grunting: the real reason why she was gagged on top of bound was so whatever attempt to change the direction of the conversation by using Chaos Theory and her ability would not happen through voice, which would definitely limit her. There were other possible means, sure, but there was only so much I could do at the moment. “We didn’t talk about their previous year that much, but I guess I can give them a call and set up a meeting.” 
“Discussing it over the phone would be no good?” 

She was still a little green in that aspect, but I understood correcting her by exemplifying why that would be a naive decision would be better than outright telling her it was wrong. After all, it was a much better way of teaching something than the way I was taught the same lesson.

“There’s only so much one can get from a call, information-wise, and there would also be no stopping them from hanging up on me. We still don’t know what’s happening for sure, although I see where you’re heading. It does have all the signs and set up. Kouma, can you figure it out yet? Or rather, how much did you know about this?” 
“...” 

As expected, Kouma Yon would not show any desire to reply by making muffled sounds, instead remaining quiet as a sacrificial lamb: she knew all she had to do for Ryo to feel like getting the tape out of her mouth and defend her case was to moan and I wouldn’t be able to keep her like that, but she did not. And so Shiina Ryo kept on.

“So, as one can presume, we have the basic outline of a ghost story of sorts developing in front of our eyes.” And it made some sense, sort of. “Still, my research showed Ayaka’s parents are alive and well at least, so this was a situation in things are either all right or too wrong for us to get involved with if, at least if the plan to give you a fresh start as a normal person remains untouched. To be more specific, ‘all right’ would be if whatever Reikoku-sensei did sent the ghost to another plane of existence so she won’t haunt the classroom anymore, ‘too wrong’ would be if there was anything else going on. When our teacher, who two days before that decided to handle the matter on her own but accepted and even encouraged my idea, acted like nothing happened, I decided to call her bluff to figure out whether she was doing it to try and scare us off by implying there would be other cases or genuinely trying to recruit us, which would be even more out-of-character. So I gave her an answer that implied we only needed the resources because it was a sure thing we would go on, and Yon-chan followed suit despite me not having arranged that with her before.” 
“...” 

One more gaze at the silent Kouma made me wonder if she was now pretending not to feel betrayed and hurt by the fact she genuinely thought Ryo made a point the martial artist considered ‘sensible’ only to learn it wasn’t Ryo’s honest opinion on the matter.

“And so, it happened.” I said. “Our teacher took the bait.” 
“To an extent: the material and ‘cases’ we were provided with once you became involved with that bi-” Ryo took a breath and stopped herself before we had to change audience ratings. “...that band, well, they were probably set up by Reikoku-sensei herself. Yon-chan worked as the field agent because I slept a little through the afternoons so I could manage to stay up at night to work and we would brainstorm at school or via e-mail. The puzzles were formulaic at best, lacking the organic random real mysteries need; I knew they were Red Herrings to keep us too busy to care about you being gone specifically because they were too ‘clean’. Whoever came up with them had no imagination, really.” 
“...” 

At first I wondered what kind of work Ryo would be doing while Kouma was gone, considering it was unlikely they were working on a new game while hunting clues on dead-ends meant to look like paranormal activity. And then, something else took focus: the feeling I assumed Kouma Yon was barely hiding was that she felt offended.

It was hard telling if Ryo considered that Kouma could not only be aware of the simplistic nature of the cases but she was probably enabling Reikoku-sensei as well ‘perfecting’ the cases to ensure Ryo would be amused enough not to go after me, something only possible because with my cute friend having a job and complete exhaustion Kouma was forced into a position where she could play the middleman part. But I wouldn’t put it past her to have realized it was a possibility, but also be punishing her childhood friend indirectly with the exposition, especially because that would only annoy Kouma if she was in fact guilty.

Hearing about Ryo’s side of the story helped me fill some blanks, learning what I missed while working with the band. It was weird in many good and bad ways, to be made aware of the fact things happened while you were not present. One of those moments you feel the world kept on moving without you and once you’re back in track you don’t know if you should despair over the time you lost or praise the heavens for coming back before it was too late. Or both.

The most important part was that I could finally establish a behavioral pattern for our little defendant.

“I see. May the prosecution begin?” 
“I don’t see why not. Go ahead, Shin-tsu.” 

At which point I jumped out of my chair and crossed the room before the chair had finished falling on the floor. When I landed in front of the person I once classified as a ‘best friend’, my first impulse was to grab her by the hair, raise her head so she could face me, spit and growl threats at her. But that wasn’t me.

Not anymore.

“Kouma.” I looked at her in the eyes and felt pure child-like fear hiding inside them. “You let her be hurt by Death Drive because you assumed it would be beneficial to us, right? Saving her was never your intention: if you did, somehow how, you would not be able to save us, I understand that much. Yet you did not let her die when you had the opportunity to kill her yourself in such optimal conditions the crime would fall on Death Drive’s account: a perfect murder, that’s what you could have done and chose not to. Under these conditions, I can only assume the one who would hurt me as a direct consequence of leaving her ‘operational’ was no one but Reikoku-sensei herself. And now you want me to punish you for betraying us but you know I won’t unless I think you are acting this way just so I will forgive you, that you are trying to manipulate us one more time. What do you think, Ryo?” 

I could only wonder if she could tell whether I was bluffing or not, because at that point it was hard for me to decide on it too. So the one of us who had spent the most time with the girl would either condemn her completely or play the role of defendant’s advocate.

Ryo took a long breath and I realized I could as well have prepared popcorn because the following lines would be huge.

“As a childhood friend I can tell this is just the kind of thing Kouma-chan would do: even as kids, when we had our first sleepover at my house she decided not to ask for another blanket as, judging by the number of blankets I used, we wouldn’t have any more and she didn’t want to be a burden while being a guest preferring to hide how cold she felt the best she could. She even tried staying awake in order to control her reactions better, but we had played a lot that day and the moment she fell asleep she curled her body. At first I thought that was just her way of sleeping although it was different from the way she rested at the kindergarten and found it to be cute. However my cat, a baby ball of fur at the time, had an attachment to that blanket and a craving for sleeping at people’s feet. When he localized Kouma’s and laid on it, she almost immediately straightened up her body because of the heat, which more or less meant kicking the cat. Everyone in the house woke up with the noise, but she didn’t say anything with the intention of not bothering anyone. So when the lights came down and my parents returned to their room, I got into her futon and hugged her so we would both be warm.” And with that story I learned the exact source of a fraction of Kouma’s undying obsession for Ryo. “But despite the cute story, the fact remains her actions were not honest to us and operated on an entirely different level, which makes one wonder what her motivations now are. While I can’t deny her wanting me to come here could easily be so I could act as a devil’s advocate in case you wanted to finish her off yourself, this seems very unlikely to me even if as a secondary escape plan for someone who came to kill the two of us, or just you. Not because she would not use someone’s bias, but rather because I know her well enough to tell she hates herself too much to do anything for personal gain.” 

During the time Ryo spent doing one of her characteristic expository speeches, I could do nothing but watch. The girl I came to this town in order to meet still could blow me away in so many levels while I could not even begin to comprehend how she managed to avoid the false ‘character development’ that came with haircuts related to dramatic situations; after the events of the Festival, she was just a Ryo with hair short as mine.

What affected me this time was exactly the whole ''Wabi Sabi'' thing still being present: she mentioned a distant episode which would count as entirely unrelated to the topic to most, except we were discussing principles and moral systems. There was absolutely nothing that would stand out as a particularly special or character-defining trait for the teenager we were judging under the present circumstances. It was a mundane thing at best, that episode. Ryo bringing it up without even making a direct connection to the incident in hand made her point incomplete. At surface level, it would do no more than showing Kouma Yon had once been a shy kid and that was it.

There was an underlying beauty in the simple tale.

Why that marked my year-long friend, I didn’t know: the fact remained it did. Shiina Ryo couldn’t vow for the innocence of her friend ''now'', yet she could draw from memory a moment of her friend ''back'' then that implied a thought pattern different from the one instantly assumed whenever things go bad.

There is a kind of quiet melancholy that cannot be translated, only experienced.

If we go by black and white, split thinking, a good person does good things and a bad person’s actions will obviously result in bad things. Except that, upon close observation, anyone can tell that is incorrect despite what idealistic fictional stories and equally forged historical books try and condition us to believe. To win a war, to protect, to survive, many would do things they normally would not. Things they would be horrified at the mere thought of, things that make them less than human in their own perception.

Imperfect. Crude. Silly.

The closest word I could think of to what I was looking for was ‘idealistic’, but even that was not enough.

“So if Kouma thinks that if it’s for a greater good, anything goes whether it’s sacrificing herself or what she cares about, except she cannot deal with the consequences be them guilt or cold? Is that that you’re implying?” 
“For a given value of, yes. She even had a salon appointment the day we helped you unpack, but she cancelled, came and helped anyway.” 

...really? Kouma was that scared of me being alone with Ryo?

I wanted to treat it as a simple inside joke and play it for laughs, I really did. My problem was, however, I could not deny her selflessness when, on a day the two of us joked about spending the afternoon together so much teasing her that she decided to cancel an appointment, the only thing Kouma Yon would talk to me about was Shiina Ryo’s happiness. Knowing her interest in fashion and how keen she can be about the maintenance of her appearance...

...I knew for sure her priority was not herself.

If Ryo’s reasoning was correct, this meant the ‘patient’ and ‘caretaker’ dynamic in this poisonous relationship I initially perceived them was reversed at this point; at best, it was something that could reverse polarities as easy as you can flip a switch. To simplify it, Kouma did her best to take care of Ryo, but she could only go on if Ryo was taking care of Kouma. Task which Kouma would not always ‘allow’ Ryo to perform, because she obviously believed Ryo would not be able to take it: that much I knew for sure, because the day I indirectly made Ryo cry she came after me with intent to kill but not with resolution to kill.

My head was starting to go light and I knew I would be dazed soon, so I had to wrap it up soon before I gave into the temptation to open my mind enough to see Kouma for what she was as opposed to what I perceived her to be and what she saw herself as.

“Alright then, I’ll take your word for it.” 

The two of them were surprised by my sudden reaction.

“Shin-tsu, are you sure? For you to be convinced easily as that...” Instead of being mad at Ryo for questioning my behavior, I was glad; if she accepted it right away Kouma would be a fool not to consider this was another scheme of sorts and become wary. Whether I was telling the truth or lying, that effect would be far from desirable so my cute friend’s reaction was, if anything, necessary for both ways to work. “Did you find something out?” 

I had, indeed, found something out and modest as I liked to pretend to be or self-depreciative as I really was... I couldn’t say it was by accident.

“Kouma covered for us all.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“See, since you were hiding I’ve been watching the news and searching for information online, Ryo. Unlike you I am not the best in the world in that field, but while you could not help I had to do what I could with the tools I had.” Kouma Yon’s eyes opened wide as I said that, probably because it confirmed I had sent our common friend to a place she really could not be contacted at in any way the moment I assumed the fashionista was a threat. “Enough downplaying: I might not be good at it as you are, but I know considerably more than the average citizen and I couldn’t find anything that tied other students to the incident anywhere. Think of it this way: the reporters got all over our school and the town as a whole because of such a bizarre incident asking questions left and right but we didn’t get any exposure like she did, as if she was the only girl who was actually there. Rather, she managed to divert the attention of the media to Death Drive, the serial killer, despite having to deal with the fact Megumi had broken a window with a brick and we had made a mess out of that room, along with any stun gun’s after effects that could show up in a detailed autopsy, which we clearly were going to get if the only explanation for his death was ‘a sudden and inexplicably convenient heart attack’. There’s no way they’d think that was good enough, especially not with the hype this thing created.” 
“Right.” 
“Her official report of story implied she only went inside the building and straight to that room because of the noise caused by the window shattering. Kouma Yon, age sixteen, walked into the room and found both her teacher with a perforated cranium and a man posthumously identified as Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier having seizures near her. While performing first aid exactly as she was taught by her parents, she called the city hospital for paramedics and the authorities because the situation, later dubbed ‘The Slaughter Festival’ in a very exaggerated manner, did not appear to be an accident in any possible way. Instead of leaving the two injured persons, she called for help over the window. The man died, but paramedics found drugs on him that justified the lazy autopsy by the forensic team, that disregarded whatever wound they found as caused by either the seizures resultant of the overdose or previous issues unrelated to the case, since his heart really was bad enough he needed a pacemaker. Based on this report, what do you think does not fit with the truth we were aware of so far?” 

Shiina Ryo raised an eyebrow.

“But he died of a simple heart attack. What does an overdose or other stuff have to do with this?” 

She confirmed my fears.

“Oh, but did he?” 
“You told me he did.” 

I could see my mouth form a bittersweet smile in the reflection of Ryo’s glasses. She didn’t only take me serious but she actually believed in me. It was a logical flaw and could be a fatal one because she, much like I too would do regarding her, instantly believed everything I said directly to her was true because we wouldn’t lie to each other for no reason.

But an ‘intentional lie’ isn’t the only situation in which the truth can be misrepresented.

“Exactly, I said so because I saw it, or rather, I saw Kouma verifying it. And I believed what Kouma said because she touched him, so that was a flaw of mine too. I had no substantial proof, just her testimony and my sight to rely on, and we’re talking about a man whose power was to-” 
“Fake deaths! And we hadn’t seen him activating it or known the limitations for sure, so it’s not like any of us could pinpoint the difference between a real death and an apparent one produced by his ability if it didn’t have any sort of visual effect, ability-name-screaming or anything like that.” 
“...the first sentence, spot on.” Her enthusiasm was somewhat overwhelming. “The second one, not so much. Kouma knew.” 
“Wait, Yon-chan knew he was playing possum? How?” 
“My guess is that her skill, ‘It Keeps Happening’, really does what she told me the first time as opposed to what she mentioned near Megumi and Akane: her mind travels back in time and all that jazz. But the script-related ability isn’t the only thing she lied about: Kouma Yon used ‘IKH’ several times and analyzed the possible outcomes thoroughly, so I call Bravo Sierra on the ‘I only learned about my skill today, this is the first time I use it’ line. Makes absolutely no sense, especially because Kouma cannot possibly retain as much information as she did about the setting no matter how you look at it because things went out of what was planned to an extent and yet others clearly didn’t despite being direct consequences of what was expected, exclusive to those events too; it was virtually impossible for anyone who was short of omniscience to perform so optimally during the first try. That implies a lot, too: chances are this is, indeed, the best possible outcome of all those she might have seen. Even so, don’t you have anything to tell us, Kouma Yon?” 

After the painful noises she did when I took the tape and cloth off her mouth, not entirely gentle while at that, there was silence for a moment as she collected her thoughts.

“...I murdered Death Drive. He was still alive but under the effects of his own ability as Shin-tsu left the room to go after the bomber in the bus, so I woke him up and questioned him. The details are fuzzy from that point on, which I presume to be due to extreme stress, but judging from what I heard about the autopsy I must have drugged him more with his own stuff so he would get the seizures. Then I covered up the other traces by calling the doctors, police, screaming for help.” 

Like everything in this case, something was very off.

“Look, either way I’ll have a hard time believing you. It’s not even a matter of liking you on a personal level or not: it’s just that from what I’ve known you, the patterns are far from acceptable in a friend, let alone desirable. However Ryo, who has met you as a kid and spent her whole life around you, trusts you and while there is no evidence that it’s not just a bias, I can’t help but think there is much more to this than any of us in here are aware of even with our sides of the story combined. So I guess that puts you on probation, which is a lot better than the other alternative if you ask me. But if you lie to us again, if you hide information thinking you are helping us, you will be deemed not worth of our trust. You can walk away if you want to and you can even stay by our side, but I will not tolerate having you against us or controlling our actions. Fair enough to you?” 

Her answer to that was anything but what I expected from Kouma Yon: a non-answer.

“I was just trying to save you.” 
“Kouma. How many times did you see us get killed as you kept on trying?” 
“...” 
“Because you took the burden alone, how many times did Ryo die? How many times did Megumi get injured? How many times did the other students get involved into something that had absolutely nothing to do with them?” 
“I... I just wanted to-” 
“Save us? How selfish, how arrogant of you. What were you thinking? If only you explained properly and provided some sort of evidence, there was no way I wouldn’t have cooperated with you once you told me the truth; the fact I worked along in this timeline with less than that should say enough. No, you wanted to be a silent hero, you wanted to have all the credit even if it was only in your head. You wanted to be better than us, our messiah. Is your inferiority complex that extreme that you thought you needed to be able to hold the world all by yourself or your existence wouldn’t be valid? Are you sure you are qualified to tell others about biases when you feel like that deep inside? And putting yourself in front, so you could get the adrenaline? What if your Kung Fu failed? What if you were caught by surprise? Who would turn back time if you became unconscious? We were in danger there. If you were knocked out at any point, we’d be dead. Passed out due to stress or forgetting to eat, dead. Hell, if you only got as much as a nap that reset the save point, we’d be all dead because if you could barely get the plan going with the whole day, you would only accomplish less with even more limited time. And you know, it would be your fault because you chose to do it all on your own instead of letting us know what the hell was going on. You risked our lives, and for what? For a goddamn whim? Is this what you call love?” 

Had I slapped her in the face repeatedly I wouldn’t have gotten this much of a reaction of her, so I figuratively slapped her heart by showing her she almost ruined everything.

“You’re getting it all wrong!” She said amidst the sobbing I still couldn’t trust. “I did my best to protect everyone when no one else could have done it!” 
“No, you got it all wrong: we don’t need you to protect us by tricking us when you obviously don’t have all the answers yourself. We wouldn’t need you to ‘protect’ us if you weren’t such an idiot and realized we could do much more together as a team. But you didn’t and now Reikoku-sensei is in a coma, Ryo ran away from home, I almost got captured, tortured, killed in a bus explosion and am now a kidnapper.” Dramatic pause followed by slow clapping dripping with sarcasm. “So, great job, Kouma: you really saved us all from what horrible fate life had for us. Thank you so much, I’m so grateful for your efforts in ruining our lives in a different way they were going to be initially. It’s not like you could have dodged all of that easily or anything.” 
“Shin-tsu!” Ryo seemed pissed off as she could get. “That’s too much!” 

But I still had my point to make.

“No, it’s nowhere near enough. Go on, Kouma. Admit you were wrong. Admit you are not in charge. Admit you are just hu-” 
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!” Kouma Yon finally snapped releasing a clearly painful scream, nothing like the technique-based ones Rin and I used during our presentation. “What the hell do you want me to do? I can’t go back so far in time I can change anything right now... I tried, the moment I realized what I had done, but I couldn’t. I am powerless. I’m useless because I have no imagination, okay? I was jealous of both of you and made everything worse. Is that what you wanted me to say?” 

It still wasn’t, and I was going to keep lashing out at her but then I realized.

“Kouma.” Her tear-filled eyes showed she was more than ready for another round of psychological abuse, although it would be more correct to say she wanted it. It was raw, untamed guilt shouting back at me. “Chances are you didn’t kill Death Drive and you certainly were not the one to hide your traces.” 

General confusion was imminent.

“I’m not following.” Ryo stared at me, not sure if still mad or not. “What do you mean by that?” 
“Let’s think of it for a moment.” I looked back at Kouma. “You couldn’t go back in time to when it all started and I am absolutely sure you wanted to, considering how that day went. The only situation in which you cannot use ‘It Keeps Happening’, according to the limitations you told me about and I assume are true, is after a save point is created because the former is instantly deleted. Not only that, you could have tried to come here right after clearing up stuff with the police, the hospital and media, but you didn’t. I was monitoring the Internet, radio and television channels for news on it and I saw the moment you were carried out of school and put into the ambulance. You were carried away in a stretcher, Kouma; they wouldn’t do that if they thought you could walk, not with a dead body and a school teacher almost dying there. You had no injuries, absolutely no reason for a paramedic to make you a priority.” Going on a rant wouldn’t explain my point as well as having her get to the same conclusion by leading her through the obvious patch she was feeling too much grief to even be made aware of it on her own. “Tell me how you did it.” 
“Did what?” 
“How did you kill him? How did you cover the traces? How did you dispose of whatever you used to perform both actions if the school was searched for days after the incident and all activities had to be suspended?” 
“I... I don’t rem-” 

The sound of my right palm hitting my face echoed in the whole apartment and startled my two companions, but I had every reason to be brute.

Damn you, Kouma Yon. Don’t you ever scare me like this again.

“You don’t even remember. That’s exactly what I thought. Does it even remotely sound like you?” That sigh showed my disappointment in myself too; this short time without puzzles to solve was dulling me, which wouldn’t be a problem if Mystery wasn’t still stopping by once in a while for a cup of tea. “Someone who, despite never seeing a supernatural being before, would jump and fight it alongside a boy she met earlier that week with no fear; someone who discovers a fantastic ability and decides to use it right away to pull off a complex confidence game on many levels involving several people to ensure the best results, someone so methodical she can learn to the point of mastering virtually anything that exists just by observing it long enough. That’s the Kouma Yon I know, and it’s not just a mere bias. But now you’re telling me you wouldn’t remember doing something that brought you this much guilt instantly? C’mon, repressed memories don’t quite work like that, you should know better than this if you’re going to get a PhD in Psychology. And you tell me you don’t remember?” 
“...Shin-tsu, what are you getting at?” 

Getting hot-headed was one way of avoiding the mind fog that dazed me, but I knew it was harder to get my point across that way so I tried toning it down a little.

“Let me break this down for you, because your brain isn’t working very well due to the copious amounts of self-pity, or perhaps self-flagellation, you have going on right now: you fell asleep, and probably was put to sleep. It most likely was fast, but you blacked out at some point and because you don’t remember exactly when, it’s impossible for us to tell whether it was before or after the paramedics’ arrival, but the fact you weren’t a primary suspect leads me to think you were still awake when they got there and fainted during their work. The paramedics took you away on a because they were afraid your short syncope was a symptom to something else and their job is not to give differential diagnosis but keeping patients alive until the ambulance reaches the hospital so whether it was vasovagal, due to blood pressure issues, hypoglycemia, anemia... they wouldn’t have your medical files immediately so they had to take you with them and they couldn’t risk having you walk so they put you on a stretcher. Now I ask, exactly when did you find time to clean up the scene so the police, who got there around two minutes after the paramedics entered the building, wouldn’t find everything? So, which one is it? Did you pass out after breaking a world record on cleaning, did you do it in your sleep or did you tell the paramedics to look somewhere else?” Another calculated pause. “There is no such thing as a perfect crime, Kouma, and I know crime better than I know my right hand from my left one. Someone framed you good.” 

She was astonished, Ryo not so much. The reason was obvious: she could actually see that development happening in her mind as one possible path. That was the blatant difference between the two of them: one of them would consider the truth in front of her as only one of infinite possible outcomes and not treat it as special at all despite the fact that, unlike the others, it ''did'' happen; the other would see only what was in front of her and take it as an absolute truth while blocking everything else to the point of nonexistence. More than rejecting or accepting reality, this was about disregarding its value in face of more interesting possibilities and being a slave to the truth you were aware of.

To me they were both were simultaneously half right and completely wrong. Either way, it was all good and a real disaster.

“...I was framed as a hero?” 
“Yes, possibly because it creates less snooping around than a murderous schoolgirl for the outsiders, but it definitely makes you want to avoid looking into it too much. Framing people as the murderer to the whole world is often tricky because there is, as a trope to the sub-genre, the need of a character who will defend you and people are always dying to be that underdog lawyer who saves the innocent from the death row, to be the main character. And why wouldn’t they? They chose the Criminal side of Advocacy and everyone there learns that unless you’re getting big time cases with crime lords involved you’d be barely making a living compared to your colleagues in the Divorce and Corporate Law. But I digress.” I shake my head as if the physical action could rearrange the pattern of my thoughts. “Whoever did this wanted you to feel like you had everyone on your side but looking any further into would put the world against you, because if looked upon closer, you’re the killer since there is no evidence that says otherwise... Now, this is the kind case I would usually get involved in. But no longer.” 
“No longer? What do you mean by that?” 

It worried me how for someone that smart, she really had no imagination.

“What else could it mean? I’m too old for this, too mentally and physically exhausted. I’m nowhere as strong, smart or confident as I once was. Not half as altruist as my father tried to raise me to be either, so I have no issue telling you this is your problem, not mine.” Liberating as it might have been, there was still a very strong discomfort as a backlash for not trying to save everyone all the time. However, it was something I would have to learn to deal with, especially considering the alternative was to deal with danger and the possibility of failure and tragedy instead and I already had my fair share of those.“I’m retired, Kouma and this is your story. You want an answer, you search for it solve this yourself, for your sake and yours alone; Ryo doesn’t really care as long as you didn’t commit murder and I will give you the benefit of doubt until I have more against you than the fact you let Reikoku-sensei get injured, along with you manipulating me and you can try it again any time because of your special skill. So you can stop trying to get us to punish you now and focus on deciding whether you want to get the person who used you to mask its crime or just let it go.” 

I knew for sure I would never forget the look on her face before I finished my sentence.

“Am I... forgiven?” 

If that was all she had to say, all she had ask after all the accusations, then I had even more reasons to hate myself.

“Not yet, but I’ll give you time to work on being a better friend. What about you, R-” 

Before I could finish the sentence, Shiina Ryo was already hugging her bound and no longer gagged friend, pressing her body against her in a way that made me jealous not just of one of them, but of both positions in this portrayal of affection and relationship. Kouma Yon was correct in assuming I worried too much about flaws, but it was silly of her to think I could do anything but admire the wonderful girl I met on the Internet, the person who despite all things life could throw at her was still pure virtue in my eyes.

Still, what Kouma needed to realize was that the other two in the triangle had their eyes on her as well, for she had managed to transcend humanity making use of sheer willpower. For someone without imagination to have her most precious one be pure creation, for someone who stayed by the side of a friend her whole life to see that person can be friends with other people too and they can make her as happy as you do or even more despite the fact you invested so much in that relationship when you thought it would be the only one in both of your lives, to feel simultaneously attracted and repulsed by the lies of someone who seems to be followed by all things evil, to be emotionally torn between two individuals who share a connection of the level you wish you shared with at least one of them, to feel like the only thing you can do to protect your loved ones is eventually going to make them want to walk away from you; just how far did Kouma push herself lately? To feel like you cannot catch up no matter what you do must be really awful.

But by trying so hard she made herself special even if the only thing she is special at is ‘trying hard’, and if I judge her for it I would be doing what was done to me.

No, I did not fully trust Kouma. I did not have enough evidence to say she was wrong too, or rather, I did have evidence that proved she did act wrong, but considering what I knew along with what she told me and what I speculated about Reikoku-sensei, it is understandable someone with Kouma Yon’s mindset would react like that. For the moment I decided to smile and be wary of her and give her the closeness she wanted because it was my only way of knowing how deep this whole mess went. It was just another bet on top of the many others that were already going on.

But I could relate to her regret over her ‘first kill’ as it was similar to my last.

“The most important question remains unsolved.” Shiina Ryo pondered. “Regardless of what she wanted Shin-tsu to do, was Reikoku-sensei’s plan worth all this ridiculously high-stakes manipulation game? And if it was, doesn’t that mean we’re all really doomed by now?”

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-09-05T21:01:49Z

Ryuno:

[[Image: Ryodraft.jpg‎ |thumb|Shiina Ryo, draft by kyuu]]
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is a light novel series written by [http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com/ Ryuno].

==Story Synopsis==
A teenager who has always found himself involved in mysteries and unusual situations decides to move to the town where his only friend (a girl he met online) lives and starts living by himself. At first he is unsure whether it’s going to be a place where he can finally lead the normal life he always dreamed of or if it’s going to be just another place he’ll eventually run away from. The town turns out to be everything the doctor prescribed and he starts falling in love with his friend, making new (and unique) friends and getting the support he has craved for so long. What could go wrong?

Just what he feared the most.

== Editing ==
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is an Original English Language light novel written by an author whose mother language is not English, therefore mistakes can (and most likely will) occur. Correction of grammatical errors is welcomed and encouraged as long as the editor also posts an explanation of what was corrected in the talk page, in order to help the author to avoid future mistakes.

== Updates ==
*Novel 2 chapter releases are scheduled to be weekly.

==''The Longing Of Shiina Ryo '' by Ryuno==

===Volume 1 - first week case [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/The%20Longing%20Of%20Shiina%20Ryo.pdf PDF]===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 1: Ryo|Chapter 1: Ryo]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 2: Reikoku|Chapter 2: Reikoku]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 3: Kouma|Chapter 3: Kouma]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 4: Ayaka|Chapter 4: Ayaka]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 1.5 - Extra story===
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 metamonogatari|metamonogatari]]

===Volume 2 - d.m.c. [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2|(Full Text)]] ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi|Chapter 1: Megumi]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane|Chapter 2: Akane]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin|Chapter 3: Rin]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 3 - time to heal ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*'''Chapter 1: Purpose: The Flawless Execution of Kouma Yon and A Certain Teacher’s Mr. Heaven'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 002|002]]

===Bonus Disc===
*'''Red Orchestra, by Cyul and Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Tuning - Colision Course|Tuning - Colision Course]]
*'''Hawk eye and Rainbow Girl, by Gilles'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl|Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl]]
*'''Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun, by Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun 1st date: Shiina Ryo|1st date: Shiina Ryo]]
==Project Staff==

*Project Administrator: [[user:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
*Project Editor: Zehava
[[Category:Hosted Projects]]
[[Category:Original]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II

2012-08-30T21:06:22Z

Ryuno: fixing formatting

== Part 1 ==
In a sense, of course.

What really happened is that I was all of a sudden brought back to the Festival along with Ryo, whose body just collapsed in front of me. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough to catch her.

Actually, I was thankful for both that and having two arms to catch her with.

After checking her pulse and discreetly running my hand down on her back to make sure the knife wound wasn’t there, I sighed deeply with sheer relief and then reached for the mobile phone in my pocket. One look at it and I was assured of what I suspected.

Time did not move at all ever since the kiss.

Another illusion? Seemed too complex for one, and it went on for too long, but I could not find another plausible explanation with the knowledge I had so far. My arm was here, I didn’t feel exhausted in any way other than mentally. Confusion levels rising and that alone was too much for my brain to handle at that point.

''Everything happened, but inside a layer.'' 
''A sub universe or a ‘scenario’ if you will.'' 
''It did, though.'' 

The Darkest.

''The girl is safe, you just defeated her Overdrive; to be precise, she is safe because you defeated it.'' 
''Although my speculation is that the reason why she’s passed has probably to do with the ‘condition’ her ability imposes.'' 

…condition? Wait, is this ‘Overdrive’ the Shugoshin-possessed state? So there really is a difference between a host fighting commonly and that…

''You got that right.: Ayaka and Ryo had breakdowns and the Shugoshin took over.'' 
''On the other hand the horn guy and you fought using the Shugoshin as weapons, so it wasn’t Overdrive but rather the correct usage.'' 
''Not that it pleases me to admit I am biologically no more than a glorified wishing well of destruction.'' 

What about Reikoku-sensei?

''She’s not a host, has the wrong sort of mind.'' 

No, I meant ‘why isn’t she here now’: if you say this was real, shouldn’t Reikoku-sensei have gotten here during the fight or at least after it? How can she expect to defeat the hosts if she can’t detect or at the very least provide immediate post-attack assistance? Is her idea of ‘saving everyone from them’ waiting for them to kill people so she can trail the monsters?

All the doubts I had earlier were resurfacing in no time and given the circumstances it was hard to pinpoint what was probable and what was paranoia. Was I wrong to have trusted that woman? Was I nothing but a puppet and bait in the hands of a self-righteous psychopath?

''Save it for later, we’ve got company.''

“She’ll be okay, Shin-tsu. You are needed somewhere else.” 
“Kouma.” I was almost annoyed by her presence at that point. “What do you mean? What are you doing here?” 
“No time for explanations, I know it’s a cliché but deal with it. What I am doing is damage control. If you cooperate, no one has to die.” 

I felt my eyes shift to match the mind state I knew was the worst of me.

“I’m going to ask this once so answer carefully. Are you threatening me?” 

She seemed hurt and shocked to her core, even horrified; I never thought I would see her that way let alone be the perpetrator.

“…look me in the eyes.” 
“Fine.” 
“I love you too, Shin-tsu. Would I hurt and manipulate you?” 

Didn’t take a lot of brain work for me to realize what my answer would be.

“If you had to for what you believe is my sake, yes, I’m positive you would.” 

It didn’t offend her, or if it did, she didn’t let it show.

“Do you trust me regardless?” 
“I do.” 

Which was true, too; Kouma Yon was literal-minded and an extremist, but she cared about Ryo and me in her own way so even if I couldn’t always agree with her when it comes to ‘execution’, I could trust the ‘concepts’ she had in mind enough to listen and help moderate her behavior. Her intentions were not harmful to me, at the very least of that I was sure.

“Good.” She nodded. “Thus a new experiment begins.” 
“Kouma, I’m a little too tired for this.” 
“Don’t worry; I’m here to save you. This is why I moved back in time.” 
“This ought to be the worst practical joke ever, Kouma. Even by those twisted standards of yours, I might add.” My crossed arms were trembling as I still got the ‘phantom pain’ of having lost one of them inside the monster’s world. “If you’re not giving me any evidence proving that you actually can travel in time, I’d rather stop this conversation right now.” 
“I know about you being KEN.” 

Something clicked inside my mind when she called me that name and then I remembered many, many things I came to this town to forget.

“…I’m listening.” 

She seemed absolutely delighted.

“The phone is going to ring. Pick it up. Repeat the lines I’ll whisper in your ear with exactly one second of difference and the same intonation: no mistakes allowed for now, we need to keep this timeline as close to the original as we can.” 

It did.

As I raised the phone to my ear level all I could hear was static followed by faint background noise, clearly the result of muffling the input area of the phone. Whoever it was on the other end, the intent was to make sure that the receiver would talk first: the reason I could assume was to find out if who picked it up was me.

After a few seconds I coughed just as Kouma did and intentionally took the bait.

“Hello?” 
“Nyahahaha~~! Do you remember me, KEN?” 

I wouldn’t forget that stupidly flamboyant laugh, ever.

“Death Drive.” 

Death Drive/D.D. used to be a Japanese scammer and murderer with a penchant for playing Houdini who would fake his death countless times, including on internet live streams and such. It was in one of those underground sites that I met Ryo. Not that we were into snuff or anything similar, anyway: I was there as part of my self-imposed and ultimately failed trauma-overcoming ‘routine’ and she was there to disprove him pointing out the flaws and inconsistencies of his number and method like an annoying kid at a magician’s presentation.

Except the ‘magician’ got so angry he went after her.

Over the phone and through the internet, I acted as a consultant and helped her survive his attacks. Together we defeated him and ended up sending the guy to jail for life as he was wanted all over three countries for many crimes that involved ‘faking deaths’ of other people, as in more than one coffin of a person related to him was found all clawed up inside because the victim desperately tried to get out and died spending the little oxygen he or she had under seven feet of mud after the bastard drugged them to put them in a ‘playing possum’ kind of state. He barely made it to prison though, as he had a heart condition and ironically almost kicked the bucket for real because he a little bit too nervous when he got caught. A temper and bad, bad heart made a lousy combination.

That’s when the two of us, Ryo and I, bonded. Not the cutest story for many, but it was cute enough for me because that bond lasted. Even against my attitude, for I would never dare say ‘will’; all I wanted from the bottom of my heart was to be near her for the rest of my life, regardless of title or relationship. This was obvious from the beginning to me, although whether I would get that or not was a matter of chance.

“The one and only. I just got out of prison a few months ago and thought I’d drop by and say ‘hello’ to our common friend.” 

As Kouma was telling me my next line, I could only think of how I did not have time to wonder how he got my number. This seemed specific enough to raise suspicion inside my heart.

“How exactly, pray tell? You got life sentence, no chance of parole ever. Your own lawyer applauded when the judge said it.” 
“And for as long as I was alive, I served it. Thing is, people seem to forget details and I think they are the most important thing, much more relevant than facts. My files said a lot about me, but not enough for the new prison I was transferred to. They saw me as a crazy murderer and all, and were ready for that. Not for someone whose purpose in life was to fake deaths with high-end or third-world-class methods, and thus with the unfortunate demise of Mr. Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier set Death Drive free, more now than ever before. This is why you were not told about my grand escape by your information service, although while we’re on the topic of information providers it should be noted that word on the streets is that you have been out of touch with your family and probably wouldn’t have gotten the gossip. If it existed, anyway.” 
“So you came after Ryo?” 

A disgusting snicker too sharp for my ears pierced through them, all the way to my brains.

“Not really. I mean, I might kill her too, what with her being a pretentious nuisance of a prey last time, but the one I’m after is you. You really annoyed me when you got involved, because it’s one thing to be against a kid and the other is to be against a living legend who is, as all of them, just a fake.” 
“It’s not my fault if you got worried thinking you were clashing against a genius detective or something. That is the kind of thing that only happens in movies. You should be thankful it was just another kid instead.” 
“Cause that’s exactly what you are, right? You lying demon. You fooled me into thinking that once already but I’ll get you this time, and in the only way it could hurt you: I’ll kill them all, and only because of you. You don’t get the hero’s death you crave for. You will be the only one who survives as everything burns to the ground. Mark my words, KEN: I’ll make your purgatory life hell.” 
“Still obsessed with imagery, I see. I know you like playing games. Tell me the target and we’ll race over who gets to it first while trying to catch each other.” 
“Tired of that. Let’s do something else.” 
“Like what?” 
“You try and find me hiding within school grounds before your teacher bleeds to death.” 

I knew what my next line was before Kouma Yon whispered it in my ear. 

“No.” 
“…” 
“I refuse. Do you understand that? I won’t become a sitting duck for you and I won’t waste my time over this. If you’re going to kill her, just do it. Let’s see what else you can do.” 
“For starters I can kill more students!” 

Getting more people involved was not the most pleasant of scenarios for several reasons, but I didn’t need to think about it because I was still getting all the answers ready-made.

“People I care even less about? What are you, twelve? If you’re going to negotiate on terms I should bet my life on, you ought to be able to make a better proposition than ‘run around with no idea whatsoever of where I am while I watch you from afar’. The stakes aren’t high on your end, thus this bet means nothing to me. I don’t care about catching you in particular; I just want you out of my way. You on the other hand, want my head. See how we’re different?” 
“…” 
“For me, it’s easy to achieve what I want. Kill her right now, I’ll just spread the word that an armed lunatic is within school grounds and Japanese police will be here in moments, having all those issues with guns and what not. They might be no good with conceiving ways to prevent you from escaping but you know damn well I am. In my case, the ‘no casualties’ condition is a bonus, not a goal. For you, it’s now a very important thing that the only person who knows you are out of prison and can put you back there for good, if not aim for a ‘special case’ informal death sentence using connections with other inmates or wardens. You don’t know my limitations, but I know yours.” 
“I know one. You can never kill again, KEN.” 

So he ''did'' get information from Lang Shou. That explained it all.

“Imprecise, therefore incorrect; if that’s all you know about that story, you’re in for a surprise. So, are you going to kill her? I thought you wanted to play with me.” 
“What are your terms?” 
“Oh, now we’re talking.” I sighed just like Kouma Yon did. “I need an hour to work on my side before the game starts. I’ll try to gather spies from the people here, students and parents alike, and brief them just enough information so they can be useful but not enough for them to get in my way as I have full intention of reaching you myself. Keep in mind that while you can take them down if they approach you consider that I’ll find you easier if they are my spies because I’ll know who went on which route and then... well, it’s up to you. I won’t give any more tips, already did my part in making this game more interesting. Are you with me so far?” 
“You have twenty minutes. I’ll call again when it’s time.” 
“You are in no condition of negoti-” 

Call disconnected.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma sounded like she was trying to be careful with her words. “You know why he did that, right?” 
“She’s already wounded, so he doesn’t have the time.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Guess we don’t have the time to waste either. By the way, you could tell I was bluffing, right?” 
“I know you were, but only because you approached me during those twenty minutes in the previous timeline looking pretty desperate, or at least as desperate as you get when you’re into something. I also know you could easily have been serious about it.” Matter-of-factly she just implied I’d allow murder to happen, just like that. If she thought that way, arguing was useless. “He held quite a grudge towards you.” 
“Not personal: I think he is on bad terms with everyone he ever crossed his path but I happen to be one of the few who are still alive.” 
“And he’d go out of the way to his freedom just to take ‘one of them’ out? You’re special to him. Whether you lied about your past or not is irrelevant at this point because you clearly did something at some point.” Kouma was serious and I couldn’t really blame her for being worried. “Koukishin Shinzou, if that is your real name, who are you?” 

I had to be honest albeit not necessarily specific.

“It is my ‘real’ name, just not my birth name; I’m adopted. I was taken by the most normal couple in the world who just happened to be the odd ones out in this absurdly unusual family. This should be as far as my connection would go to the weird circumstances, but I’ve gotten into some messed up stuff of my own and ended up making a name for myself as an individual rather than a son of the household. Because of that, people know my nicknames but most of them don’t know me. I know people.” 

She seemed satisfied with that vague answer of mine.

“I like you better now.” 
“Figured.” 
“You would, wouldn’t you? Before I tell you about the plan, tell me, so-called ‘hunter of monsters’: what good are you against a human?” 

Yes, that alone proved her time travel allegation even further. As if I needed any more proof despite the scripted lines and all.

It could have all been a ruse; the lines could have been arranged on the other side too.
She could be working with Death Drive too, they all could.

Let’s not go there; spiraling into paranoia is just what I don’t need right now.

“Good enough when it comes to deception.” 
“I’ll take your word on that.” An ironic reply considering what I just told her, but her voice had no sarcasm in it. Then again, I did tell her she’s not human to me. “Here is the plan: Ryo, dressed as you, will walk around school and act the same way you did in the first timeline following the script. Akane will keep your mobile phone and play the audio clips you will record with Megumi’s loop pedal and one of the microphones you used for the live performance. Whenever the phone with Ayaka gets a call, Ryo in disguise picks up too: synchrony is everything.” 

Let me suspend disbelief for a moment and assume that she got all of my movements down in exact words on paper, let alone in a way it couldn’t be misunderstood by a reader such as Ryo. Or that we can get high-school girls to help us pull a swindle or an operation such as that, just because they’re friends. Let’s point out a simple flaw first, save the awful implications for later.

“Hold on. What about ambience?” 
“What?” 
“Lack or different ambient noise on our end will make the recording stand out in places where he can both watch me and see what’s going on too. The recording won’t match the environments even when there’s no noise because of the room natural reverb too. D.D. might be an oddball but it will be hard to keep the act for long. Can we just redirect calls easily?” 
“Well, I wouldn’t know… it is your phone after all.” 
“Never tried, bought this new model right before coming to Japan and just had my number transferred.” Decided to omit the detail my previous one was eaten by a harpy from Kouma, who was just too much of a skeptic to take it even as a joke, which it was not, but would be a better reaction than hers anyway. I messed with it for a while. “Yes, this phone can.” 
“Alright, hand it to me. I’ll just set our speed dials’ first position to be each other.” 
“Good.” I was so focused I didn’t even want to make a joke about that. “I’ll wake Ryo up and brief her in. Can you get Megumi and Akane?” 
“No Rin?” 
“Her father is probably suspicious of me already, no need to add salt to the wound; what if we involve her and he follows us, only to be hurt or ruin the scheme? We know Akane’s mom isn’t like that.” 
“I see.” 
“We just have to hope they’ll cooperate with us, but if you say it’s for me Megumi might agree and Akane will come along.” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m absolutely certain I can get Akane to cooperate: it’s Megumi we will have to hope will come along, actually.” 

That made me confused.

“How can you be so sure you can mobilize them just like that? Did you talk to them about this before?” 
“Oh, not really. It is because of Ryo’s conspiracy.” 
“What are you talking about?” 
“Somehow, she guessed this whole ‘I want to protect you so I will get away from you but in a way it seems like we just grew apart because maybe we weren’t so close after all’ thing was your game early on and let, in her own words, the plot build up for a most cathartic finale. I aided her keeping track of your behavior with the café therapy sessions, but before you ask I actually am working on my thesis. When you told me about Megumi and Akane, I knew who we had to ally with to make sure you would be alone at some point during the festival. Then Akane gave us the information about the band ending plans and Ryo made sure you would not be told about it before the actual day so you’d be absolutely ready for some clashing morals and romantic angst when she confronted you, other than no place for you to just run away to. This is why we got Rin’s father to wait by the backstage and, although entirely unaware of our gambit, he was useful when it came to intercepting her and making you leave alone. What Akane doesn’t know is that her mother also indirectly helped the plan because she talked to Rin’s father a couple times before, what with being the only dedicated flower shop owner and all. I happened to overhear them talking while you played and while he was a little shocked that his beloved daughter hid something like that from him for so long, the hippie knocked some sense in him with a ‘boys will be boys’ kind of speech that reminded him of his youth days. In the end, we relied on luck a little but her sting worked.” 
“…Shiina Ryo out-conned me?” I laughed honestly from my heart. “Dear God, I’m going to marry her.” 

This was kind of intricate for a beginner so it made me wonder if the reason why they don’t seem to get along with other girls in school went beyond anti-social behavior. Another part of the explanation brought forth an even more unsettling question.

If it was all just part of the con she pulled on me, why did her Shugoshin go Overdrive? The plan would have ended there with the kiss; she should be happy but instead broke down. Sure that wasn’t what I expected from our first kiss either but it was because of the whole world fading to white and whatnot, not because it was such a bad kiss. Perhaps I’m mistaking the ‘cause’ here: let’s say it even wasn’t because of the kiss per se, but rather the strong emotion she felt triggering others in chain reaction after a period of bottling up, including the real cause. But what could that be? The emotional overload of a hundred of small problems or something else much bigger? If I were around, I probably would know.

“I’m sure she’d like that.” 

A certain fashionista I knew had an ennui face and I realized that, under the circumstances, it looked like I just spaced out imagining a married life with Ryo.

“Kouma, it was a joke.” 
“I know. Me being jealous is a constant rather than a common variable, so you just have to watch out for how much and not if I am or not; that is a sure thing.” 
“Talking about jealousy, it might be a little too rude to ask but do you think Megumi knows Akane likes her that way?” 
“Who’s to tell? One way to look at it is that she doesn’t have a clue; other implies she does and doesn’t want to reject the friend who gave her a home when she was in need. My personal guess, and I will take it as fact until proven otherwise, is that she knows and regardless of seeing her as a possible romantic pair or not will not move a finger until Akane takes the courage to go after her and confess properly. Which would be brilliant in a simple and effortless way, if you ask me: works if she just wants her friend to grow up or if she needs a more reliable and sure-of-herself lover.” 

How specific.

“Is that what you wanted the dynamic between Ryo and you to be? Good grief, Kouma, you’re such a maiden at heart.” 
“…” 
“Liking me or not, you wouldn’t have a problem if I got offended by being played that way and didn’t want to be involved with you guys anymore one way or another. Not only had you enabled her behavior, which could end up really bad, you also told me the whole scheme so that I could react the way I wanted. It was a matter of free will to you, and you were sure that one way or another I’d use mine to walk away if I had the chance. ” I sighed deeply. “So your personal conspiracy failed, in a myriad of ways.” 

I kind of wanted her to get mad but she just stared at me.

“It was an experiment. Experiments never actually fail, you know. They provide results one way or the other, even if the results are that you can’t achieve the ones you want by using that method; that outcome that could come across as bad narrows down the search and brings us closer to what can be called Science.” 
“So did you find out the answer to your question?” 
“It’s ‘yes’.” 
“And did you find the question to your answer?” 
“It was ‘whether I loved you because you were like her or because you are you’.” 
“...in a conditional question, marked by ‘or’, you replied ‘yes’ and that’s it?” 
“Exactly.” 
“OK then.” If that was good enough for her, it was for me too. “Enough talk; let’s pull a con on a convict.” 

A yawn was heard behind me but I had the impression she had been awake for a while.

“Shin-tsu.” Ryo said, half of the mouth still covered by her hand. “You’ve been waiting to say that for your whole life, weren’t you?” 

I didn’t bother denying it.

== Part 2 ==

The five of us stood on the rooftop as we prepared to perform as a different sort of band than the one I played with earlier and I felt like mood of the day was definitely crescendo.

To make things simple: I had two sorts of drama, kissed someone, had a visit from the past, slammed that bass with a progressive/extreme metal group, someone I cared for was in danger, got into a fight and it was an established fact my friends schemed a lot too. The festival was an emotional rollercoaster yet I didn’t feel that awake in months so it was hard to complain; I really missed the thrill and I hated myself for it.

Not just for that, but whatever.

The two remaining members of our posse joined without making many questions, but this probably had to with me activating The Darkest in front of their eyes and showing them the absence-of-flames I could summon. Akane was weird enough on her own, but what surprised me was how Megumi seemed badly shocked for a split-second and then calming down only to get hyper enough to ask why I didn’t use the visually exquisite anti-pyrotechnic ability as special effects during our concert.

The moment Kouma handed each one of us the Bluetooth earpieces and made sure we all had each other in speed dial I remembered how Megumi pawned her acoustic guitar and realized what Kouma and Ryo meant by how money mattered: it was easy to see how someone who for a while now have everything just handed to him would have trouble understanding the concept of not having enough monetary resources available.

What I couldn’t understand was why Kouma had two phones on her; it would be easy to comprehend if the number she gave any us was of the new one, but she did not even mention it even though it was on sight. The second model seemed very simple in comparison to her fashionable main one, not even from a well-known brand: it looked completely bootleg if I ever saw one, and I’ve seen my share of counterfeit merchandise through the years. What could be the purpose of that, if not to avoid using her day number for the calls?

Not the time to digress, I know.

The roles were simply established by default: Ryo would take care of distracting Death Drive by pretending to be me; Akane was the closest we could get to a gadget person and would operate both the phone that would actually connect to DD’s when he called and the loop machine we’d use to record my lines so I did not have to pick the phone and give away the plan somehow; Megumi would provide assistance to Akane but her job was to be the field agent that would make sure I could get unnoticed to the room we already knew he was in thanks to Kouma having been through this day once before; Kouma was our information source and mastermind for that operation. And me?

My job was, according to the fashionista, the same I chose on my own during the first timeline: to infiltrate and neutralize the bastard before he could do more than merely hurt our teacher.

Needless to say, I was uneasy. Thrilled in a sense, sure, but it was an unusual situation for that kind of mission: we had a ‘who’, the exact location of ‘where’ and more than enough data on ‘when’. Our real trouble was ‘how’ and we barely had any time to discuss it: it was either following Kouma’s lead or storming like a bull and risk Reikoku-sensei’s life.

I did not have much of a choice given the circumstances: I was offered a clean way out which would save me and others and the other option was letting Death Drive have his way.

I’d never.

With Kouma’s plan, Ryo would wear my clothes and walk around school in the same fashion as I did in the first timeline to keep it from diverging into new events due to the Butterfly Effect (not something I thought was entirely possible, but would have to work for a while somehow) and keep the day as predictable as possible until I could sneak behind DD and rescue Reikoku-sensei. This would have been all fun and games if it wasn’t for one detail: if my clothes were with Ryo, then whose clothes would I wear to successfully disguise myself in a school that was pretty much girl-only?

Yeah, pretty obvious and not particularly pleasant.

So they lent me some of Megumi’s, say, ‘hair’: one set of medium length red extensions, and despite having seen a lot of stuff ever since I was born I have to admit seeing that at least part of Megumi’s look was actually detachable and under the several layers of extension her hairstyle was essentially a sidecut freaked me out for some reason. Each of the extensions was placed under the sides of my own hair giving me an edgy look along with the side-swept fringe held by a bobby pin at the end. Ryo’s thick-frame glasses weren’t half as strong as I assumed they would be, so neither of us should have issues being with or without them. Kouma did my makeup; I told her ‘no heavy stuff’, but it’s not like we had the time for her to overproduce me anyway and the key was not to get too much attention, which I assume would be harder if I looked like Megumi did every day.

A little padding on the uniform to make up for my absolute lack of bosom helped although it would take a lot more than ‘a little’ padding if we were to simulate Ryo’s, so a few safety pins had to be placed on strategic points too. While they talked about my transformation on the go I realized my idea that Ryo was entirely oblivious to girly things such as makeup was unfounded and made me realize she probably used it a lot more than I noticed, which made me happy because being ignorant to a girl’s effort in cosmetics was pretty much a ‘guy thing’. And why did that make me, a self-proclaimed feminist, happy, you ask?

Because it took me one look at the mirror to realize they turned me into a hipster girl.

It kind of offended me deep down that to disguise Ryo as me they seemed to have a little more difficulty to make her look manlier, going as far as trimming her hair a little and using plastic to bind her generous-to-say-the-least bosom, tasks which she wasn’t particularly thrilled about. Still, despite the many bad things that could come out of it, there was no denying Kouma was right about her bone structure being the most similar to mine of the four girls; she looked like an idealized me so much it got to the point of making me look less like myself. Yet it wasn’t like I didn’t prefer her as a girl: there was just no way I looked that good as a boy.

She caught me staring at her and gave me the smile I missed so much in my life.

“Did you like it? Put a ring on it.” She extended her hand to me as those waiting for an engagement proposal but took it back after a single second and I knew it wasn’t just because that reference felt a little out of place. “Wait, I’m the guy now... this should be my job, traditionally. Go on, give me your hand. No… should I be on my knees while doing this, Shin-tsu?” 

Instant smirk.

“You ask as if I was the expert in proposals.” 
“Well, you sure flirt a lot amongst other things.” Ouch… With that critical hit blow I frowned instantly. I knew that was coming but it didn’t make taking the damage any easier. Guess I deserved that and the following five hundred remarks on that subject I surely would get over the course of months. “Forget it, I shouldn’t take things personal now. Let’s just move on. Our teacher’s life is at stake, it was shallow of me to waste time. I’m sorry.” 

No.

Postponing stuff or making things happen sooner than they should was what put us in trouble in the first place. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. The time was right then and letting the moment pass instead of hitting the iron while it was hot was a risk I was not willing to take.

“No, I’m sorry. You have the right to feel that way. I should have treated you as an equal and I apologize for not doing so. This is why we became friends in the first place, so I shouldn’t underestimate you and think you can’t take whatever I am dealing with. Concern does not justify concealing information, and thereby this offender offers a truce.” 
“On what terms?” 
“I promise to never hide anything from you again.” 

Dramatic pause, as expected of her.

“What is it in exchange for? Forgiveness?” 
“Forgiveness isn’t something that can be bought with a deal, no matter what the State might say about pardoning someone in exchange for information on others. Either it blooms on its own or it’s bound to be taken back in the future. Remission is more of a realistic procedure, if you ask me, so I’m aware I deserve some consequences whether I regret what I did or not because I wronged you.” I had to stop myself from going off the tangent too much. “What I want is the same of you: you are not to withhold information from me. If we are to stand side by side as equals, you need to stop hiding things too. You’re in some sort of trouble and not asking for help. While that is commendable as an effort, it means nothing if you can’t get past it on your own. Kouma and I, we’re here. If you need us, just ask.” 
“Just that?” 

I nodded.

“Just that.” Gently I took her hand and held it, ready for a shook. “Truce?” 

Rather than taken aback, she seemed peaceful like a burden was taken off her back.

“Yeah, I guess we really are the same. Truce.” 

We shook hands in a rather firm way but if it hurt her she did not let it show. Despite having kissed her earlier surely that was the moment of the day when I felt connected to her the most.

One interpersonal issue solved, all that was left was to save Reikoku-sensei.

I looked at the script she wrote for Ryo and realized why the idea was, at least to some extent, executable: it was made of references and had several drawings. Every movement, pose and line she had to lip synch had very specific written observations that tied with sentences and such in TV series, manga, movies, books and even real life people such as celebrities and politicians. In face of such bizarre script one cannot help but wonder if what brought Kouma Yon and Shiina Ryo together was not something particularly deep and poetical but the fact one of them is so derivative she cannot do anything without comparisons and the other has an insane crave for knowledge especially of the pop culture variant: maybe the initial spark of their relationship was indeed because they were, for each other, the only ones who could fully understand what the other was talking about.

I could comprehend that well, creating a bond over being extremely similar in one particular aspect. Surprisingly, I could even rationalize how Kouma managed to make a script with such a tremendous degree of descriptive information about my actions embedded in it.

This was only possible because Kouma’s ability was pretty specific.

She called it ‘It Keeps Happening’ and stated that the moment she activated it like I did she found out it worked like this: every time she sleeps she creates/overwrites her ‘save point’, to which she can return her mind to but not her body or any items. Kouma wakes up at the exact same moment that she did after using her power but once she sets a ‘save point’ by waking up, she cannot go back to a previous one ever again. Thus as long as she stays awake she can always use her ability to revert time on a personal level and rewrite the timeline.

Which did not, in any way, seem to match the alternative explanation she gave the other girls, that her power was to predict the future and ‘expel’ the script for someone. Whether she lied to them because we didn’t have the time to explain or because of a special reason she had not to be open about her power, I would just play along. Maybe it was a secondary effect of her time travelling power, I could not tell.

''Personally, I find that all to be a little tricky.'' 

Why exactly? I’d like to have your input on this.

''It’s obvious she’s something else, for she mastered her Shugoshin already to a point there isn’t a trace of it other than the power.'' 
''However, to do all that on the first time?''

Mastered her Shugoshin? So she doesn’t get voices in her head anymore?

''Don’t assume everyone does just because you do: my species isn’t known for sentience, or at least what you humans would consider sentience.''

What do you mean, then?

''Consider this: let’s say I am not the only of my species who actively thinks and talks, especially to the human host, and the other one is just like me.''

But it would be using the same logic you just condemned!

''Not precisely and it’s just a postulation so no need to get that upset: if I did not inform you of the full extent and limitations of your power yet, why would hers?''

…do you really want answers?

''Possible solutions.''

Alright then. How about ‘different personalities’? No, you talk too much about species, chances are you’ll disregard that and say you guys work on some sort of ant-like communist regime or something. Would it be too far from the truth to assume our powers were supposed to just keep developing instead of being stable from the start?

''You really can avoid seeing possibilities that are in your face when you don’t want to.''

Paranoia can be used against you too. Thinking bad of one of my ‘best friend’ persons is bad enough; two would be too much stress to handle at this point. Unless I acquire enough evidence for it to sink in as slowly as it can to avoid the complete shock, I’ll deny it with all I have.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma uttered to bring me back from my internal monologue. “It’s time.” 
“Understood.” I coughed on command, trying to get rid of the weird feeling at the back of my throat just to realize it was a psychosomatic symptom. “Standing by, waiting for your command.”

She stood still, visibly uneasy about what to do next.

“Are you sure? I could simply work as a source of data. This plan is a derivation of yours in the first timeline, you know.” 
“Whether it is or not, it doesn’t matter: the shortest the distance between a leader and the information necessary to guarantee the success, the better. You call the shots this time, Kouma; I’ll trust your judgment and follow your lead.” 
“I’ll definitely save you.”

Her bold statement made me ponder on how the events of the first timeline turned out; it shouldn’t be me who would be in danger, and if there was danger directed towards me it probably would be directed to Ryo, which made Kouma’s line even more unusual. She would not put Ryo in danger for my sake, and it was her plan. So what the hell did that mean?

“Wha-” 
“Everyone, on your positions!” Contrasting with the previous uneasiness, Kouma sounded no less confident than a general. “Ryo, go downstairs and wait for the simultaneous call to move outside as planned. Take your medicine as soon as you get there so we’ll have at least one hour before you’re drowsy or in pain.” 
"Aye aye Capt'n!" 

My favorite person in the whole world did an army salute and left.

“Akane, man your station.” She ordered to the silent girl who had already taken the messy fringe of hair out of the way of her hawk-ish eyes and only nodded in reply. The kung fu fighting fashionista then gazed at the easily amused fashion disaster. “Megumi, it’s not too late for you to back out.” 
“I don’t know much about what’s happening but if there’s something huge going on and a friend needs me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Megumi looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up. “Just take me out for burgers later and we’ll be even, okay?” 

She was quick to get angry, reckless, clueless whether it was fashion or business, irresponsible and had double standards; she was also quite normal compared to the others and a good friend who would accept hers gladly and fight anyone for their sake with what little weapons she had. I liked her a lot and was just thankful Kouma’s plan would keep Megumi away from the actual action rather than going back and forth and providing assistance to Akane, or at least away enough that she could not try anything ‘heroic’; it’s people like her, those who look in a way too good for this sinful earth, who die first.

“Shin-tsu.” 
“Yes, Kouma?” 
“Go.”

At which point I ran across the rooftop and threw myself to soar over the fence of the building; thus began the operation.

== Part 3 ==

The reason why I jumped was because I needed to be sure I’d be out of Death Drive’s sight and the only ways I could get to the floor on the side of the building he could not watch were by either breaking down locked doors to get access to the windows or doing what I did: he could not, in any way, see two KEN walking out the building door or the gambit would be ruined.

I used The Darkest in the same way I did inside Ryo’s dream-like subdimension on the first activation, by having the anti-flames in a layer enveloping my body instead of condensing it on a single spot. I guessed it would cushion my fall or at least let me heal faster than normal so I could move unnoticed by an alternative path Kouma had traced for me on a map of the school (and would possibly have hand-waved as part of her ability had I asked about it).

Frankly, my expectations were exceeded: in such short distance of four floors it actually reduced my terminal velocity to nearly nothing mid-air, making me not ‘land’ as much as ‘gently hover’ to the ground. Gravity found a new way to mess with me: just when I started learning about Physics in order to bend Space and Time properly, something like this happens…

It was out of my comfort-zone to say the least.

My first impulse was to look around and make sure that, despite what Kouma Yon told me, there was no one around at the exact time. It did not surprise me to see she was right again, although it was obvious she’d be considering the scripted phone call and all.

After placing the Bluetooth device on my ear I stretched just to be sure my body was okay, not for the first time after the ‘losing an arm’ incident, and started running through the route she drew to me. As I passed by trees and waited precise amounts of time to hurry to the next pre-marked stop while taking care not to slip or fall, as to ensure the timing would remain perfect and I wouldn’t be seen by anyone who didn’t see me in the first timeline which could unleash a chain reaction of magnificent proportions and hellish results.

Scouting to avoid others was easier with the enhanced awareness I had now that my Shugoshin was active: the less I focused on my vision the more I could sense the thermal levels around me and tell the difference, which explained quite a lot on the subject of how Ayaka’s could fight so viciously or the disorientation of the monster in Ryo’s dream-world when I got rid of that particular trace with The Darkest.

There was a lot at stake and I could only wonder if I still had the skill to make something like that happen or, if I didn’t, I could use the new acquired one to ensure the best outcome possible. Thus I began to ponder on it, because if Kouma, Ayaka and even that psychopath guy had somewhat complex ones I should get to consider its limitations to raise my chances of success, which meant saving someone’s life.

If I were to describe it based on appearance, I’d say it was just improbably malleable black anti-fire. Low damage but a lot of variety in possibilities of usage, along with unusual and unlikely sub-effect while being very exhaustive: it was hard to believe my power meant for surveillance alone or long-term fighting.

''Don’t fool yourself, the purpose was clear.'' 
''It was made for you after all.''

If you mean ‘assassination and deception’, I have to argue it’s only half right.

''Like I said, don’t fool yourself: this is tailor-made.'' 
''Just strong enough to kill but not the kind of power you’d bring to a battle if you could help it in most forms, and visually flashy looking enough to keep others away and yourself concealed from the most dangerous enemies’ radar may their eyes not be on you.''

So the reason why my attack power is so limited it’s because it’s a very broad ability?

''Think of it this way: there’s a limit to a Shugoshin’s power and it is inversely proportional to the area it covers.'' 
''The broader your range is in reality warping, the less you will of this limited power spread over the span of it.'' 
''Still with me so far?''

Yes.

''Good, good.'' 
''Now consider that you have to fight others with the same growth potential, probably to death: in a situation like that, what do you think would be the obvious way to spend your points?''

To focus on a particular deathly ability and raise it to its maximum potential compressing all of it on a single point: a better way would be with 80-85% on the specific ability and the rest on a sub-effect, like a ‘blade’ covering a particular area.

''Correct: is your ability one of those?''

No.

''And why do you guess?''

Because I don’t need 80% on the specific power: I just need to be strong enough not to be instantly killed by monsters and to overcome any human, so I can trick and defeat them because that’s how I fight. Therefore I can spend the rest on more valuable effects of it rather than in raw power, which would be a waste in my case. In comparison to the ‘blade’, mine would be more of a ‘bamboo with spikes’; in direct confrontation it would break, but the thing is I am not looking for a clash of weapons.

''You aim for the opponent’s meat.''

That’s exactly where it works just fine, because if I absolutely have to use something like that I’d rather hit just once.

''You mean in battle or in life?''

You know the answer already.

''As always with you, ‘both’.''

The phone I exchanged with Ryo for mine vibrated once and I did not need to pick it up because I knew it was Kouma making sure I was ready for the big halt. For the next 45 seconds I was supposed to stand by until the mass of people would pass and I could move again. Would have been an eternity of moments if I didn’t know that I would be able to see Ryo in action, as this was the one time in the route I was planned to follow when I’d ‘meet’ her.

I watched her walk and gesticulate with my phone in her ear, mostly as I would and sometimes as I should. Seeing her as a part of something like this had a certain appeal I won’t bother to deny even with the danger: it was like she was made for it, and I hoped she was feeling better by then. Sure there was a conflict in her life we did not have the time to talk about yet, but she finally made the transition from normal highschooler to girl with powers who cons criminals; as far as I was concerned, she dreamed about that day for years and envied me for it, although it’s arguable whether she honestly believed what I said or just appreciated the stories. Ironically as it might sound, I wanted her life too.

Everything was going according to the plan.

Ryo had been following Kouma’s instructions; Akane operated with surgical precision the loop pedal with the necessary snippets of my voice; Megumi would stay assisting her and getting the calls from Kouma but she was actually our trump card as she would be our secondary field agent in case something went wrong; Kouma would walk around unnoticed too one step ahead of us every time and ensure the situation would follow the planned route at whatever cost.

However, the moment I realized I thought ‘everything was going according to the plan’ I knew I should have known better than this and got my heart more ready for a disaster than usual and this is coming from someone who lives by ‘prepare for the worst, hope for the best’.

So I stood by.

That’s when I saw Rin approaching Ryo and knew it would all go to hell because Rin did not know that was not me and she had a certain look on her face as she held her father’s hand and went towards the girl disguised as Koukishin Shinzou. I dreaded that face so much.

The ‘teehee, I’m going to introduce you to my parents’ face. And it’s not just girls who do that kind of stuff, acting mature and cold to hide insecurity or more specifically the fear of rejection, so I couldn’t really blame her. Regardless of gender, some people are just closer to our conceptions of ‘maidens’ at heart than ‘commanders’, although nothing says one cannot be both. But Rin was one severely repressed broken bird and I could tell the cathartic performance and sickly sweet talk with her father gave her and injection of positivism and endorphin rush.

Of all times, she had to act like a love-struck teenager at that point: when lives are at risk, when I’m dealing with all sorts of trouble, when I had lost a very important thing to me, while she knew I had unfinished business with someone else. She had to pick today, because she was in a better mood than usual, to make her move. Rin had to choose this day to be like that. This only made me think of how Rin’s constant need to impose the mood was because she couldn’t just read it and that was the only way she’d know what was going on.

But what bothered me the most was to read her father’s lips from distance as they got closer and I could only try and predict what would happen at the moment she’d wonder why there was a girl wearing the clothes of her romantic interest and looking exactly like him while ruining the plan’s perfectly synchronized timing.

“…Rin, did you say Koukishin?” 

Yeah, I should have considered that even in a smaller city, as long as I’m in Japan some people might know the name ‘Koukishin’. That could mean a lot of trouble.

While I was busy trying to figure out a way to get us out of that situation without making everything so far be a waste a flash of colors, albeit slightly less colorful than usual, passed by and did something that affected us all.

It is always a matter of perspective.

I saw Megumi kiss Ryo and ruin the plan in great scale while doing her best so it wouldn’t be ruined by someone else; Ryo’s eyes opening in complete shock, still too lacking in field experience to know that the fictional rule of ‘whenever there is a plan in sight something is bound to go terribly wrong’ actually applied to reality as well; Akane probably saw something that angered her in a way, but implied she’d have a chance in the future because Megumi did not seem entirely adverse to kissing girls; Kouma was bound to be murderously furious by now one way or another and in the most potentially damaging example of all, Rin saw a Shin-tsu she would approach being taken in the way she wanted the most by someone who could not rival her in class, leadership or guitar playing.

I guess rich people get heartbroken too.

Knowing just thinking that made me a horrible person inside, I watched her consternation-filled eyes with a similar look her father gave her. It was stupid of her to expect more when the boundaries were established; it was idealistic to think something that started so wicked and wrong could become a proper relationship despite its roots. No one said teen rebellion is all sweetness, and there is a reason why growth is necessary. I still felt bad for her to get that kind of shocking view but at the same time I knew she had it coming one way or another. Not a matter of ‘what’, but ‘how’.

Rin didn’t run away crying, instead just staying there and looking back as he guided her away on the opposite direction back to what was left of the festival. Megumi ran while picking up her phone soon after the kiss, like it was a hit-and-run operation. Ryo just stood there but picked up the phone when D.D. called ‘me’ once again.

And this, well, this is when stuff got really, really weird.

In case things went out of script, the calls should be transferred to the phone I was holding so I could improvise lines for damage control. No one eve worried about my talent to do so, and not just because I took pride in being able to perform impromptu whether the subject was music or life, but because when I said ‘it was just something I came up with at the spur-of-the-moment’ I meant ‘I pondered over every possible scenario ever beforehand like every good comedian or performer should’.

You don’t just go on a stage and play whatever is on your mind, you execute combinations of riffs and licks you trained for quite a while altering them to fit the musical scale and overall idea of the composition; if it truly was randomness they wanted, any member of the audience would do. Improvisation took a lot of preparation.

I was ready for anything Death Drive could throw at me and all Ryo had to do was make sure he wouldn’t notice her lips weren’t in synchrony with the voice as it was a three-way call with her end muted. Well, almost anything.

His scripted line didn’t change at all, as if it was pre-recorded.

I panicked and felt like hanging up immediately, but managed to keep it until the exact point where the conversation was supposed to break on the script. I knew for sure that was virtually impossible: Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect simply do not work that way. It was absolutely preposterous to consider things would go smoothly on track after Megumi’s intervention, to the point where only bad time-travel novels would ignore the change in pace.

Let me say this once and for all: there is no such thing as a clean and easy time travel plot, under no circumstances. The moment you act outside of what was supposed to, the whole scenario is bound to change sooner or later because of cause and effect, like dominoes falling one by one. Hell, even having anyone who didn’t help me in the first timeline collaborate with us now was bound to affect the scenario quickly, for they would not be where they were and that would affect the actions and reactions of other persons as a direct consequence shaping the world into something unpredictable.

To have Death Drive say the exact same line despite all that change made this whole thing entirely unbelievable.

While a ripple in the water takes a while to affect something in large scale, no one with a brain could deny a disturbance like that had to make things go off script, because a) he saw something he didn’t in the first timeline, which would alter the course of information on his brain and b) the timing of the plan was done for and unless he had a script of his own to follow. Yet such an impossible ‘coincidence’ took place therefore it was safe to assume the game had to be even more rigged than I initially thought. Whom it was supposed to help… now that was an absolute mystery.

It’s times like this I hate mystery even without capital letters.

No matter how much I didn’t like the idea of even pondering on the subject, Kouma could have easily set me up. It made sense. She could have been sided with Death Drive to begin with or even planning to catch the two of us, killing two birds with one stone. A two-way trick; I trusted her to some extent, but they don’t call it a ‘confidence game’ over nothing.

But the silliest thing I could do at that point was to quit.

“Kouma, he’s cheating.” I said when she picked up after two and a half rings. Guess she didn’t see this one coming. “He might be really killing her and getting ready to escape right now. Hell, she might be already dead.” 

And it would be my fault.

“How do you know?” 

Naturally a lie came to mind.

“Feedback.” 
“What?” Kouma’s voice was getting breathy. “What do you mean?” 
“I heard feedback from the noise that happened by my side on his end. He’s not holding the phone anymore; it’s on speaker mode now. It wasn’t before so I take it Death Drive probably got his hands busy.” 

Such an obvious perversion of the truth yet if she outright denied its possibility it would be like she walked with a shirt with ‘traitor’ written all over it. Her reply was unimpressive.

“There was no feedback whatsoever, what are you talking about?” 

A creature with no creativity could not do much other than try and buy time. I would not let her, especially if Reikoku-sensei’s life was in danger.

“I’m going in.” 
“Shin-tsu, don’t! You’ll ruin everything! Stick to the pl-” 

But I hung up and ran fast enough to feel my lungs burning before she could say anything else. I knew it would ruin her plan that was supposed to protect us all, but I’d do it. I’d walk into his trap. Why?

Because ‘me finding out the scheme’ was certainly not in her calculations one way or another, but there was a possible outcome that would save Reikoku-sensei even if Kouma was actually being honest. It was simple, crude and effective.

All I needed to do was to assassinate Death Drive.

“GUH!” 

The taste and texture of bile filled the inside of my mouth and escaped it a millisecond before I could cover my lips with my crossed hands. I burned feverish and felt excruciating pain in every muscle or joint I had, my mind wavering and heart pulsing like a collapsing temple. As I watched the world spin around me I knew it was hopeless; if that was how broken I was, if that was how I got whenever I just considered murdering someone not possessed by an entity…

…I would only have one shot.

''Waiting for your command.''

“Huh.” I spit the vomit on the ground and bit my inferior lip hard enough to feel my canines pierce it. “SET ME ABLAZE, THE DARKEST!”

Halfway the growl the body of the young man some knew as Koukishin Shinzou was entirely embraced by the ghastly absence-of-flames and, as if watching someone else, I saw the position of my hands turn from wide open to claws. Anatomically speaking, my body contorted to an aerodynamically improbable wolf-like stance before I let myself run like the predator I needed to become for that sinister task I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform without losing my sanity over it.

The psychosomatic effects never stopped afflicting me and every step was grief, but I had the strength to keep on moving in me; where I was getting it from, I had not the faintest clue. And even without Kouma I could have found out on my own exactly where the egomaniac monster would hide and that was where I was heading. The room in the school he’d claim was made for him. The room that belonged to a club that was no longer.

The one with a plaque that had ‘d.m.c.’, the initials of both his birth name and our club, written on it.

An unpleasant coincidence, very much like me getting there and realizing the plaque was no longer there. He saw it, knew I’d look for it and probably took it somewhere else in the building to make sure I’d follow him.

Which I would instantly if I didn’t have to get Megumi out of my way for her own good.

“Bro, what the heck is going on? When that Kouma girl called I thought she was going to chew my… but yeah, she just wanted me to come here and meet you. She said you needed help.” No, Megumi, Kouma wanted you to delay or stop me. “What can I do?” 

Kouma knew it was too dangerous for Megumi to come along. Of all of us Megumi was, against all odds when it came to looks, the most ‘normal’ and defenseless one: even without powers, Akane was paranoid and sneaky enough to be dangerous. What could Megumi do, really? Annoy the guy with bass music she didn’t use the correct nomenclature for? It was just electro house, for Heaven’s sake: adding wobble bass and random samples does not change the genre.

“That’s right, I need your help.” Denying it would only make it harder for me. “Do you still have that golden paper clip?” 
“Wait, dude, that was months ago.” 
“Do you?” 

She quickly searched her bag and it didn’t surprise me that someone as obsessed with oddities (because even though the story about her eyes is probably true, it’s obvious she developed a taste for the weird over the years) would keep an object like that around.

“Here; what are you going to do, pick a lock?” 
“Kind of. Give me your phone too. Don’t have the time to explain.” Cutting her way of communication with Kouma would help me avoid undesirable surprise, but even when she handed me the phone I made sure to check if it was set to vibrate and held it on my back so she wouldn’t hear or see it in case our common friend called. “Need you to make a fuss to get people distracted. Biggest you can without getting caught, ok? Do not get in trouble.” 
“Alright but-” 
“Megumi, now!” 

The colorful girl muttered something under her breath and stormed off clearly infuriated which was expected and understandable: I knew how she hated being ordered but I also knew I needed her to be safe. While I could be sure she was not to take this to heart in the long run, it didn’t make the task any more pleasant. If being an adult meant knowing when to do what you must rather than what you want to, I had been an adult for quite a while and it was absolutely nothing special.

I knew what I had to do then so I reactivated The Darkest to remain as concealed as I could.

As I began to run through the building’s floors looking for the plaque, since finding would probably lead to finding the maniac who took it, I fell the phone vibrating and the moment I saw the name on the screen I pressed the ‘end call’ button to make sure Kouma would know she couldn’t reach Megumi even if she wanted to. Next, I looked at the on-screen clock and decided to do my best to reach Ryo by calling her the exact moment her next synchronized call from Death Drive disconnected to warn her in a way she would know it was really me instead of having Kouma act as an impersonator through text without wasting too much time and gathering unneeded attention not to avoid ruining the plan but to keep the farce to Kouma.

After a disturbing moment of rising desperation the time her line would become free finally came.

The phone in my hand vibrated again as I tried to call Shiina Ryo, but it was Akane this time; the moment I was about to punch ‘end call’ I heard the beep on my Bluetooth ear device and from then on I only had one thing in my mind. 

Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. 

Like a mantra it resonated in me as I saw through her improvisation, once again, derivative; as used in an episode of a certain American television show with a conman as a main character, her tactic now was to stop me from reaching Ryo by cluttering my available phone lines. Most if not all modern phones have the poorly thought, albeit occasionally useful, custom of just making calls pop-out on screen even when you’re doing something else, like dialing a number. The problem, at least in my case, lies in the fact I could not block these calls even if I knew how to in this phone specifically because of the nature of this attack. At that point I could not tell whether she was using both hands to control the phones or tricked Akane into desperately calling Megumi out of concern with emotional blackmail of some sort.

My greatest fear, however, was that Kouma would see an even simpler solution.

Since I had Megumi’s phone, which I was sure Kouma knew by now, she assumed it was in her best interest to clutter both lines with calls I wouldn’t pick up. It was wrong of her to think so and the reason why is that, considering how badly the ‘plan’ had failed and was pointless at this point whether she was an ally to Death Drive or not, she could just go and instead call Ryo, who would pick up promptly. It would make her unreachable to me by any means that weren’t text, and even so it could be said Death Drive took control of the phone lines I had in my possession or had some fake message software or similar. It would make her worry but would keep her under Kouma’s domain.

I needed to save her.

My mind was splitting into several sections as I kept running around the building looking for the plaque and fending off Kouma and Akane’s calls while trying to connect with Ryo until the moment I came across the two of my targets at once: at the same time I found the right door I also heard Ryo’s voice through the earpiece.

“Hello?” 

There was so much I needed to say, but I didn’t have the time. The enemy that held Reikoku-sensei hostage was in front of me and for all I knew she was dying a little more every second I wasted; on the other hand, Kouma was bound to look for Ryo or me and my main concern was that Ryo wouldn’t take me seriously and walk straight into whatever trap Kouma Yon laid, whether it was for just me or not.

''What if Ryo is involved in this scheme too?''

“…” 
“Hello?” She tried again. “Who is this?” 

…isn’t it obvious? Then I’ll gladly die by her hands.

“Abort mission. Stay away from Kouma. Hide now.” 
“Shin-tsu. It is really you.” 

Savvy or not, to get to that extent she probably got text messages already.

“Trust me.” 

Considering whom I was, that sentence sounded absolutely ridiculous. I was a con, a lying demon, a manipulator, a trickster, the last person you should trust especially when on the other side of the fence you have a friend you grew with, who has been there for you when you were sick, who had always loved you one way or another; I was just the other person, the guy from the internet, a glorified stranger who was probably faking it whenever the two of you would talk about any subject and had matching views. I was no one.

“I will.” 

I could feel my heart beat everywhere in my body. Sure, Ryo could have said that and then betray me: I wouldn’t blame her. She made me happy at that time, like I really belonged somewhere. Like I finally had someone even if I had nothing else I could truly call mine.

I felt loved.

So I hung up, held Ayaka’s knife by the blade with my right hand and got myself ready to open the door and throw it at Death Drive giving priority to the head but would be okay with settling for the heart. Due to my own issues, I would probably lose my mind the moment I saw someone be killed by my own hands and, in case I ever did, would probably wake up in a hospital only to be either sent back to the Koukishin clan or a juvenile council if grandpa was finally done trying to give me chances to actually live my life the way I want. Couldn’t say I had no regrets, but it was beyond the point.

“Here goes nothing.”

I slammed the door open with my left arm and walked in the classroom ready to give up my sanity to kill a man who murdered many. I was not, however, ready to see my teacher on a chair covered in irregularly placed barbed wire and something metallic on her head that even before full comprehension made me lose hope and the ground under my feet. When faced with her body tainted in red I realized the anti-flames were gone along with my concentration and whatever resistance to gravity my body could have by standing up.

My knees faltered and I felt to the floor as the bastard laughed.

“Nyahahaha~~!” 

In front of me, trepanation; her perforated cranium still had the drill he used in it. Blood everywhere and it was hard to pinpoint where the dried ended and the fresh began. She remained a perfect portrait of still-life, too beautiful in her peaceful sleep that I could only imagine would be eternal.

We were too late to save her to begin with.

His sadistic laughter seemed to echo inside my brain again and again in a multitude of hellish undecipherable noise. Chalk dust floated visibly because of the light coming across the window. I could not move once again. Insanity rose. One more person died because of me. As I saw Reikoku-sensei’s body I remembered Kouma’s words once again: ‘What if you can’t save her?’ she said regarding Ryo, but the one needing to be saved was someone else. And I failed her. I failed them all and above that I failed myself. 

Reikoku-sensei was serious'''ly injured'''. 

My legs trembled, the knife in my hand wavered, I as a whole collapsed.

“…” 

The murderer tilted his poorly-shaven head while grinning, looking just as much as a half-Japanese Nosferatu as he did one year ago.

“Hey, you’re cross-dressing again! Is it a hobby of yours I didn’t hear of or something?” He said, regarding the time when he chased after Shiina Ryo. “Will we ever meet with you in male clothing?” 
“…” 
“What’s the matter, where are your usual snarky retorts? Cat ate your tongue? The so called ‘greatest of all liars’ can’t handle a little manslaughter?” 
“…” 
“Right, you can’t just kill another person: your little Chinese friend was kind enough to give me the information for free, along with where you were now. She must really, really hate you; can’t blame her, so do I. But to think you’d be stupid enough to tell your location to someone who feels this way about you… Is this all penance to you? You think getting killed will erase the sins you committed? How many lives do you think you ruined so far, you bloody fool? How many times do you think you need to die to make up for it?” 
“…” 
“Me, I’m a criminal: I kill for money or vengeance and it set me aside from modern society because our values differ. My victims, however, are all done with. With my methods, it usually happens while they are already buried so they have time to reflect and despair over what brought them there because I never in my whole life did it without having a reason to, although whether you’d call it a good reason or not is up to debate. They wake up with no hope and I’m sure that after the screaming and trying to claw their way out of it like in the movies they just calm down and realize their mistake. After all, what is a coffin other than a confessional you stay in for a long time?” 
“…” 
“But you, you won’t change despite knowing how bad you are. You really think you are the hero despite all you’ve done to so many; was it just me, I’d be perfectly okay with just killing you and be done with it. When it’s personal I tend to do things quicker because, you see, I don’t get paid extra. I have no illusions over the matter of what I do being evil, but to think that despite your actions you’d walk away unharmed because of your family’s influence while I, a plebeian, would rot in jail for what anyone with a brain would consider smaller penalties... this is what is wrong with this country, no, this world. I know you can be a bastard when you want to, but it was just because of your family. And no, it is not fear I have of you: I despise you as a fellow human. If the rumors are to be believed, you are the most disgusting creature in existence.” 
“…” 
“Well, I’m no hero, but since no one stepped up a scum like me has to do the job. You and your little girlfriend messed with the wrong person because I have no problem putting my life on the line just to set things right according to my standards and while I have the power, my word is the law. She ruined her life the day she crossed my path. You ruined your life the day you crossed my path. The two of you will pay and under these circumstances, I’ll give you special treatment. Be grateful.” 
“…” 
“I will dismember, no, that would be too good for you; what I’m going to do first is render your arms and legs useless surgically so you can feel them and know they are there but not be able to move them. Then I’m going to find Ryo and take the two of you to a room with only a clock covered in duct tape so you will hear it tick but never know the time, and do you know what I’ll do next? Hurt her in every way I can while you watch, and boy, you will watch all of it even if I have to shove caffeine down your throat, cut your eyelids and fill the room with mirrors so you can’t close your eyes or look away. Other than making you a cripple, I won’t lay a finger on you; I’ll give her everything I prepared for both her and for you, including acts that will put me in a different class of criminals.” 
“…” 
“Then, when I break her mind, only then I will give her the chance of killing you for her freedom: the you who watched her pain but didn’t move a finger to help her, the one who is at fault for her suffering this much for countless days. The death she would have gotten if she was alone when she messed with me would have been way cleaner if you weren’t around, and you can be sure I’ll let her know that. It is all on you.” 
“…” 

It was like every little word that flew out of his mouth was handcrafted to make me furious and bring the worst of me to the surface.

“And I win either way, as the disfigured Shiina Ryo marches towards you: if she kills herself you won’t be able to bear with the guilt, and if you are the one who is killed well, then I can just shoot her in the legs before I aim for the face. She did annoy me, so there’s absolutely no way I’ll let her walk away from this just because she cooperated: as everyone in the criminal side, I believe in reduction of penalty only when it applies to me not being behind bars. Those who were wronged know.” 
“…” 

Letting him talk as I recovered from the shock was a good idea. In a few seconds I would get up and end this once and for all. He couldn’t match me in close combat, especially with The Darkest on me. The environment was favorable. He didn’t bring a gun or such, while I had a room full of weapons even if you ignore Ayaka’s knife. The chairs, the chalk, the floor, the desks, the windows, the curtains, the wood corners, the walls, Megumi’s golden paperclip, cell phones, hair extensions barbed wire, Reikoku’s body, my own body, The Darkest, oxygen, carbon, gravity, the world and everything in it I could reach for: humans saw most of them as objects, persons or immaterial concepts, but when I was like that they were all tools and weapons and all mine on top of that. It would not be a fight: I hated the idea of fights deep down. It would be one-sided murder and I would make it happen even if I had to use my beloved teacher’s corpse as a human-sized club to beat him to a pulp.

If the room was ‘all weapons’ there was only one target to destroy.

“I won’t let you forget it’s all because of y-” 

A brick came flying, piercing through the window and landed along with shards of glass right between Death Drive and me, intrusively coming from the side very much like a ball in a foosball table. Ironic, as I felt the game was set a long time ago.

I looked out the freshly-made hole in the glass window and saw the not-so-distant sniper hanging from a tree, raising her fist against the sky like the world’s most accomplished pitcher and I knew exactly what Megumi could do.

The unpredictable action took us both by surprise and distracted the maniac for long enough to someone I knew to come inside the room through the door, crouch by my side, run, step on a chair and then a table, kick it rather than merely jump, propel herself like a falling star and reach the killer with the speed of lightning and an unidentified object in her left hand that made my gaze go to the floor searching for the knife I dropped.

When I heard the fizz I understood why Kouma had a second phone and the violent convulsion Death Drive had when it landed on the side of his neck.

The model was unknown to me but not the concept so it was easy to recognize an electroshock weapon (also known as ‘stun gun’) disguised as a mobile device. One could argue she was not using it to its original purpose, or at least the one the fabricant claims is the ''raison d’être'' in order to avoid federal eyes: to me it was absolutely obvious she did not buy the object for self-defense. Hell, she knew martial arts well enough for that purpose; this was another weapon of hers, which concerned me even more as I wondered about the effects of electricity on the foe that was now twitching on the ground.

He had a pacemaker.

“Rest assured, Shin-tsu, I read studies on this: pacemakers don’t seem to be affected by stun guns. It amazes me how deep your personal issues go, to worry about the life of someone who performed trepanation on your beloved teacher even though you were considering sacrificing your mind in order to kill him yourself.” Reading my mind not for the first time that day, Kouma Yon looked at me and spoke carelessly. “I told you I would save you. I just didn’t tell you it would be from the killing instinct within yourself and the consequences it would have on you because of your childhood trauma.” 
“…she’s dead.” 
“No, his ability is very similar to thanatosis: it’s slightly more complicated than I am currently willing to explain but he basically feigns death as in ‘playing possum’, his or someone else’s as long as they are at touch range. Not entirely unexpected, considering his history and even his Freudian nickname. Based on animals that use the technique I can see a few possible defensive and offensive applications for it, which apparently he couldn’t. Such a waste of potential is unforgivable; what other creatures could do with that skill is left to imagination. According to you, I have absolutely none, but even I can comprehend a naturally passive-aggressive predator would benefit greatly from the possibility of being able to both mimicry and render the prey defenseless.” 
“Kouma, listen to me. She’s been out of his touch range for a moment now.” It was ridiculous how quickly I could find myself pressured rather than merely willing to get others out of denial when I didn’t have the strength to do anything for my own life. “She’s dead.” 

I felt absolutely ridiculous. The boundary of not being able to withstand the sight of murder, despite of being strong enough to incapacitate me immediately and for days on its own, could easily be overcome by the craving to save others? No, not even save; just wanting to get Kouma out of denial was enough, but it shouldn’t be. Was this what my late teacher was talking about, on the whole Messiah complex topic? Morals, traumas and stigmas could be just thrown away amidst the worst conflict to avoid having someone get hurt on a much smaller scale than I was?

At some point I became everyone’s peon.

“She’ll wake up. Poison dripping off the small needles that he materialized on his fingertips is how he did it, which is more realistic and understandable than applying hallucinatory effects to a paper card. It should be off her system soon so don-” Kouma’s speech was interrupted by a single cry from the woman I assumed was dead, followed by feverish shivering that worried me greatly because the screw was still inside her head and could damage her further if she moved too much. The kung fu fighting fashionista just looked at my teacher who stopped altogether to move but still breathed loudly enough to reassure me of the fact she remained alive. “There we go. That should stir up anyone nearby so we can count on some more police and hospital calls, which shall be beneficial to us.” 

Death Drive started getting up.

“Ju…just who are you?” 
“I see you know Shin-tsu and Ryo, but we haven’t been introduced yet: within my boundary I am the god of possibilities.” Her eyes were expressionless but at that moment she emanated a force so overwhelming I felt my legs shake. Kouma really was something else. “My name is Kouma Yon and more important than Kung Fu, I know Psychology.” 
“And who cares? You got in my way too, so you’re dead no-” 
“I also know you are trying to bait KEN into killing you over what, soon after doing it, he’d realize out was nothing. The moment when this ability of yours becomes no more a disability has come, for unlike the other times you used it to coerce someone into something the third element knows how the magician’s hat trick works. This was meant to be a masterpiece, wasn’t it? To fool the lying demon who caught you in a way he could never get back at you even if there was a way he would recover from needlessly killing a human being once more. A sick joke funny only to yourself, right? You could not expect anyone to see through this, right? But now he knows too much for it to work. He might not be able to see the whole picture but he won’t kill you now and that’s all you wanted of him in the end. Even I have a considerably bigger chance of getting killed by him right now than you do.” 
“…how do you know all that?” 

She took a deep breath.

“Well planned time travel and analytic skills alone. You could have done it: you actually made it the first time and it got him insane just like you wanted to. In the first timeline, he almost killed me after going berserk and that was how I learned about my own power. You were going to win against him but you didn’t. You lost once again: your will is meaningless because like I said, I am god within these boundaries. Fighting me is futile, I will defeat you every time and cheat whenever you get close to win. Every movement and idea of yours are mine. So try me. Come at me if you think you’re fast enough to attack before I travel back in time once again with the information of the precise kind of blow you will try to land or cunning trick you’ll play, other than how to get to it by triggering all the right flags once again. At this point, I am invincible. You think you’re going to mess up with the mind of my favorite test subject?” Kouma Yon gave him her grimmest grin. “Not on my watch.” 

Death Drive was stunned and he was not the only one.

“You… you little piece of… you ruined everything, goddamn bi-GAAARGH” 

Just like that, Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier, also known by the self-imposed nickname of Death Drive, died of a heart attack in front of our eyes. Which was ridiculous and ironic but also definitive and undeniable.

Therefore I crashed for good.

In a moment that could easily have lasted forever in my altered perception I stood there not doing a thing until Kouma set my body in movement forcefully. She slapped me across the face so fast I took a moment to comprehend what exactly had happened and as I fell to the floor she ran back to Reikoku-sensei’s side in order to provide her primary care.

Her attention did not waver as she lectured me.

“Cut it out. You cannot blame yourself for this: it’s not your fault that he followed you here and attacked us, and it’s not your fault he died. You didn’t do this. However, if you waste our chance of saving this woman because of that trauma of yours instead of manning up and taking care of an innocent person who has done nothing but try and reach out for you when you were down, in my eyes and yours you will be a murderer.” Kouma Yon finally managed to stop or at least limit the hemorrhage a good 4 seconds after she was done talking. Her eyes were serious and tender simultaneously, raw and alive as an animal’s; whether it was my altered perception or her own growth, I couldn’t tell. “So don’t give in, Shin-tsu. Stay with me. I need you.” 

And there it was: the line before the bass drop, the growl before the breakdown. A conman’s hook.

I bit and licked my inferior lip hurting it once more and felt the taste of blood acting not for the first time as a reality check for me.

“…tell me what I have to do next.” 

Kouma’s confusion didn’t show in her face but in her taking five seconds to give me a reply.

“I beg your pardon?” 
“You need me to do what? You’re talking to me in simpler terms like you learned to do to connect with me whenever you want me to do something for you, whether it’s answering questions about my psyche or morals or something else. I don’t care whether I’m an experiment to you at this point, just tell me what you want or leave me alone.” 
“This isn’t about you.” 
“I said I don’t care about your excuses right now, save them. You saw a void I can fill somewhere and now you want me to get up and fix something for you. Spill it.” 

I grabbed Ayaka’s knife and got up.

“I never meant to hurt you.” 
“Doesn’t matter; just tell me what I have to do.” 

Walking towards the girl enveloped by the newborn sunset that came through the crack she made in the glass.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” 
“Tell me what you want.” 

When she looked me with her once again cold eyes I clenched my fist tighter on the weapon’s handle by reflex.

“I really love you.” 

The last straw she needed to pull.

“Say that one more time and I’ll kill myself in front of your eyes. I’m tired of being told that and then be left alone: no more. Is this what you wanted from the start? Was this part of your plan, you godforsaken beast? Because if yes, go on, I dare you. Hell, I want you to do it. I’m right on the edge here. It’s all on you, girl.” Knife against my throat, my breathing so hard I felt my chest tremble as air moved and emptied my lungs like life was already leaving me every second. I trembled like I was falling apart and was bound to cut myself deep even before she had the time to say anything if I kept unstable like that. “Say it, I beg of you. Give me one last reason. End me.” 

Patiently I waited for her to give me my final command.

“I’m sorry.” 
“…” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m sorry you feel this way.” 
“But not for acting the way you did, do or will do. Which implies you honestly believe you are not in the wrong. And I know you for a fact don’t care about good or evil, but rather about but concepts. Damn.” Gently as I could I lowered the weapon to waist level. The time for my melodramatic act was over as I assured the fashionista was still the creature I thought her to be. It made me aware it was serious business we were dealing with or she would not have gone so far, as it would be too bothersome to do so for the world’s laziest multi-talented being. "Sometimes, just sometimes, I really hate you, Kouma Yon.” 
“Thankfully, just sometimes. I can live with that in mind, like I shall do regarding the fact you would have done it if I said ‘it’ again yet won’t do it now just because I just ruined the moment for you. Double subversion would feel less gratifying to you.” 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“For such a long-time liar, sometimes it feels like you’re not even putting enough effort in it. You too are a disappointment.” 
“Did you learn my craft yet? My so-called ‘art’?” 
“There is no such thing as ‘art’, just ‘art admirers’. And yes.” She nodded as if words were not enough to express the depth of comprehension she achieved. “You can stop pretending you’re not shaken up inside now.” 
“Thank you.” My hands finally dropped the knife. 

I knew I was way too mentally exhausted to make decisions when it got to the point I considered relying on Kouma Yon of all creatures as a moral compass. But when life gives you lemons and they are deathly sour…

“No need to play that role in front of you, good.” The stern look on her face showed no approval, however. “As the few paramedics tried to save me in the first timeline, just before I lost consciousness, I heard a report about the situation on an exploded inter-city bus through their radios: it was supposed to happen around 5 minutes from now, and there were heavy suspicions of terrorism. We won’t get the attention and primary care we need if this happens, and the lack of media coverage for this story might lead to further questioning too. I need you to stop the bomber on the inter-city bus while I focus on keeping Reikoku-sensei alive and setting up the scene to make this look like an isolated incident: having you around could ruin the latter up too.” 

Then it hit me.

“You were going to just let those people die if we managed to stop Death Drive before he caught Reikoku-sensei.” 
“Not now, Shin-tsu. I have priorities and so should you.” 

More lives at stake and now that I knew about it, it was on me. She set me up real good, she did not know for sure I would not be able to reject it yet she bet all her chips on me going out and doing it. I hated myself for not being able to prove whatever unrealistic expectations she had of me wrong, for not being capable to let her down.

Still, I ran.

Fast as I could I advanced, much faster than I could before the Shugoshin was in me but it did not feel fast enough to me: no matter how much I tried, I no longer could bend space and time on command. The Darkest did not need to explain it to me, as I realized how give-and-take the situation was on my own; in exchange for more power I sacrificed potential and there was no easy way to change it back again.

As I ran towards the great fence that separated the eastern area from outer buildings I recognized something that made me stop for a while. Near a small, cabin-like janitor room, there were cameras were different than the ones you saw at schools and hospitals and much more akin to the ones you’d see in secret spy movies: that model was activated by heat, so I could use my skill to pass through unnoticed if I used that area, which would help in case I needed an alibi in the future for I could just say I was still at school while some sort of disaster happened, that is, if I failed.

Awfully convenient, except it was a nightmare in disguise of saving throw.

Pondering over all I knew regarding Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan, it was obvious where she stored that dreadful item of hers. I wanted to scream at myself and say it could not be, but it was just too likely to deny it no matter how high were the regards I had her in. To even consider she’d possibly keep something like that near her students made me severely nauseous; I was actually glad I had only found out about it because otherwise chances were I would have doubts about going so far for the sake of saving her life.

When I found myself standing up on the top of wall close enough to reach the one pertaining to the next building I got my body ready for jumping higher and climbing because for once during that day I knew exactly what I needed to do to reach my goal.

I was going for ''Parkour'', the art of not just moving around obstacles but use them to your benefit for maximum efficiency. Critical thinking was a must. A wall was not there to block my way, just to be my stepping stone: it was all terrain, a world made purely of it. No more limits: it was time for me to stop thinking of common, linear paths to walk in and start running in vectors.

“''Traceur'', on.” 

A jump into nothingness that ended abruptly when my fingertips touched the walls and from that moment on I was one with everything; a single layer of the flames enveloping my hands and foot, so thin it was not much more than pitch black contour wavering like ink but never leaving for real. It made me feel like I was moving on vacuum, which was probably not far from the truth.

By both using it and deactivating it I alternatively propelled and glued myself on the terrain composed of all things over the houses and buildings of that developing town. At the apex of the nearby constructions of concrete picking the ones closer to touch the skies in altitude in order to avoid being seen I moved but instead of feeling as a hunter I was free like an unparalleled, unleashed beast albeit constrained by the time limit: I was simultaneously carefree and worried sick; I loved being alive and I hated myself; I was a being and I was not.

During that moment I got the same impression I had during the fight against Ryo’s Shugoshin, that it all had been preparation for this. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling quite a lot… every little thing feels like build-up to something else, and it’s supposed to be huge.

Very much like the strength of the wind blowing my skirt.

== Part 4 ==

My heart could not decide if it wanted to race or stop fully as the bus was doing in order to pick up more passengers.

Breathe.

The bus was more crowded than I assumed it would be due to it not being a weekday and all, but I guess even in smaller cities people go around and have fun. They didn't consider the risk of being inside a vehicle that would blow up and kill them all due to a sudden terrorist attack; not everyone is like Akane.

Looking at the window I watched both the inside and outside of the car for movement while the back door released a bickering couple who would probably get closer if they realized they averted a disaster if I failed to stop the bomber and the front door welcomed anyone who would walk in join those who died in the first timeline and were still at risk in this one.

Of those waiting for a bus I saw some making room for a soon-to-be passenger and the moment I heard the door close I knew there was no coming back.

Breathe.

I recognized the only person who got in the bus within milliseconds despite the trucker hat, jeans jacket and hiker backpack (which I could only assume was her definition of discrete disguise) because it was the one who hated me the most. Lang Shou seemed considerably more than just slightly distressed when she saw me looking at her while dressed in drag. I too was shaken up inside as it was the usual whenever I saw her, which I hadn’t in a while.

Her right eye twitched.

“Pervert!” 

She said in Cantonese, and if I knew her it was probably only to scan if there were any speakers of the language in the bus; if that was the case, they’d probably just start screaming or tackle me. Yes, because of that and not because I was cross-dressing on a bus.

Nothing happened, so I did the obvious.

“Pervert!” I replied to her enthusiastically as if the word was a greeting, and then thought about what addendum in Japanese I’d have to put together with that to make it convincing enough. “It’s nice to see you again, Lang Shou.” 

While her face was clearly a painting of annoyance, the fact she sit down by my side when there were other free places in the bus finished the job of reassuring the passengers that we were the right sort of acquaintances.

Even though we were not.

“…how did you know?” 
“I have my sources. You seem to be everyone else’s.” 

On usual situations I would not be so harsh with her but I was seriously ticked off by the result of her actions.

“There’s nothing wrong with that I do, just means to an end.” 

Irresponsible brat.

“I hope you meant Death Drive’s, because your plan only led to him passing away.” 
“Wouldn’t expect less of you.” Did my best to keep myself from showing emotions when she said that, can’t tell if I succeeded. “But I guess he was pretty useless, failing like that despite being a little more than mildly famous.” 
“You really don’t know anything about this business: an assassin’s job is to be concealed, so whenever someone’s name is out there for people like you to hear it means he might be a good killer but a lousy professional.” 

Scorn was shining clear as day on her face.

“You’d know, wouldn’t you? Murderer.” 
“…” 

There wasn’t much I could say in reply to that.

“What’s the matter, murderer? Is it bad that I call you that, murderer?” 
“…stop.” 
“Or what, will you kill me too?” 
“…” 
“Oh, the little murderer got depressed, boo hoo.” It was not a very big step, from tomboy to bully. “Don’t give me those sad puppy eyes. Even now, you still look like a Shih Tzu dog.” 

Oh, this sure brings back memories: so that’s where I got the nickname from, then. Not that I’ll ever correct the mistake, would be kind of embarrassing after all. I’ll remain using the ‘Shin-tsu, out of two of the same kanji’ excuse. Better than letting it be known so Kouma can refer to me as ‘Puppy-kun’.

I had more urgent topics to address, too.

“So at the end of the day you’d kill yourself to divert the paramedics’ attention but not explode now that you’re here with me? When you could hurt me and me alone?” 
“Hurt you? By killing you? Even now you try to trick me, you lying demon? I know very well that would be bliss, especially compared to what you did to me. You don’t deserve that: I’ll take it out on the ones near you until you are a walking pile of nerves surrounded by corpses you watched growing cold. I will break your mind and heart and I won’t lay a finger on you to kill because I want you to do it yourself to atone for what you did. It will never be enough, the suffering. Whatever you build, I’ll crush it. Forever and always, until you finish what you started and kill me or decide to suicide. Just be aware of this: as long as I am alive you don’t get to live a happy life after what you’ve done, and I’ll make sure of that.” 

That was when I approached her, hugged her tight and released hot breath down her neck to make her shiver, with a superior level of success than I expected to achieve. It was obvious to me she was almost melting as experience dictated. Good to know some things never change.

I held her hand and rested my forehead against hers, looking the girl in the eyes.

“Lang Shou, I am sorry. I can’t take back what I did and God knows I would if I could but you need to realize you won’t gain anything from doing this. This isn’t you, so stop while you can. Please. I don’t want you to suffer a second longer.” My hands ran down her backpack but still delivered the pressure to her body like I wanted them to. Her shivers were strong enough to make me wonder if I had done something to give her a seizure. “I care about you. Either go back to China to your parents or stay here with me; things are never going to be the same, but I can give you a place you can call ‘home’. I am still your friend.” 

Furious, she pushed me away, slapped me and got up but didn’t leave before delivering a dramatic one-liner.

“I hate you.” 

Not surprised: it was the second time I heard that one on that day and she made sure to say it in Japanese before storming off the bus the moment it stopped, but at the very least I did not end up receiving the mother of all beatings from a visually warped version of her in dreamland. Either way, I already had gotten what I needed to.

Personally, I hated pickpocketing. It wasn’t as thrilling as some might assume it could be, because it was more a case of ‘either you know the trick or not’; no room for cunning talk or similar when it comes to the actual thing, just before and after and it kind of beat the point of going unnoticed. It was no fun but as any adult can tell you, life is not always doing what you like to do.

So I stole both the bomb and the detonator from her backpack and now I had to disassemble the bomb before she could realize I did it because she could notice they were missing and try to meet me on the next stop.

Frankly, that was the easier part of the day: Lang Shou was an amateur whose only talent seemed to be getting into trouble still. Her bomb was pretty crude looking (which helped me because anyone who saw it would dismiss it as a toy and not panic) and was built quite poorly on top of that. The detonator was short distance-only and unrelated to the bomb, which would go off around two stops from where she dropped, so one possibility is that she would have tried to blow somewhere else up just in case if I hadn’t been a dirty thief and taken both the red herring detonator and the silly-looking bomb. I have to grant her that she did better than usual in that particular aspect but I could only guess whether it was because she wanted to go down along with everyone or the limit of her design and engineering skills: for all I knew she could have mixed two projects she got in books up.

Upon the realization I wasn’t even followed back home I felt lie I could no longer hide my disappointment and let the post-traumatic stress kick in. I wanted to feel despair and rage and get the overwhelming, exhilerating depression out of my mind even if it meant crying and throwing up for days until I got hallucinations due to the deprivation of water and nutrients. I needed to scream at the heart of the world because I could tell I had it in me.

It never came despite the copious amounts of build-up.

Like every single thing that ever happened, the events of that day were ‘proven’ anti-climatic and dull when the hindsight bias was applied; the Historian’s Fallacy made everything obvious and absolutely ridiculous to say the least, and to pinpoint the truth by hypothesizing after the results were known was nearly impossible because most things aside, the simple presence of time travel in a case blurs the lines between cause and effect beyond recognition. Still, one could say that above ‘good’ or ‘bad’, Kouma did ‘right’: the definition of the latter being up to debate. Now, Lang Shou…

...she killed me inside a little more.

It was like a bad joke; to think someone so incapable and inexperienced was willing to try and cause so much damage to so many over nothing, or at the very least nothing that had to do anything with them.

It was a bad joke because it was the exact same with me.

The news reports a week from that day were still all about how a high school girl from a small-to-medium sized town saved her teacher’s life using only a mobile phone with internet access and a handbag’s contents, and it didn’t take them long to dig her up and realize she was the same child prodigy who won some art prizes a few years ago. Instant sub-celebrity; blogs spawned; people would talk to her whenever she walked down the street.

The biggest hospital in the nearby city, where Reikoku-sensei was immediately admitted to and is being kept until she wakes up from her comatose state, even offered Kouma a fully paid scholarship on a college above average and future internship may she choose Medicine as her career. I immediately assumed she was going to accept it for all the wrong reasons, and I could not blame her for that because I could easily see myself doing the same.

That maiden was too a knight and she was 『Ryo’s』. 

== Part 5 ==

“Come in.” 
“Excuse me.” I said, dodging something on the ground that was probably an elaborate trap her cat assembled to keep strangers out. 

As soon as I entered Ryo’s apartment the realization dawned on me; before seeing the image with my own eyes it sounded just like a story from a TV show or a book. It was too surreal for me to accept it as a fact at once, even to someone who is used to the unusual such as me. Still, one could easily tell just from seeing the way the place was a complete mess Ryo’s story matched the environment.

Shiina Ryo’s mother left her house.

The reasons are irrelevant to me because whether it was depression or something else the fact her daughter was left behind remains unchanged. I should not judge without having all information on a subject, but it’s pretty obvious to me it was a mistake and so should be to anyone with a drop of common sense.

You don’t walk away on your teenage daughter.

People her… our age are not expected to live by themselves with no support, in good medical condition or not. Even with the exceptionally good amount of money my family deposits every two weeks I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be okay if I didn’t have the support of Reikoku-sensei, Kouma and Ryo. It takes more than financial stability to make a stable person.

From a mathematician’s point of view it might sound unreasonable but there is another factor, something else we need to function other than the strictly necessary physical resources; I’m not sure if it’s human contact or anything like that, but I’m aware of the fact I wouldn’t be able to live a complete life without their support. Then again, maybe I’m wrong and too young to deal with those matters right now. My best friend is living a situation similar in theory yet completely different in intensity.

I am fully aware of the fact I am not, however, old and numb by apathy enough to be able to ignore the painful silence in this house and just live my life as if it wasn’t my problem.

Both out of curiosity and concern I opened her refrigerator to find only half-empty bottles of water, a piece of fruit so old I cannot recognize which kind and cups of cheap instant ramen, which I presumed to have been her primary meal for the time she lived alone. My heart ached just from imagining Ryo working late on the nearby town to pay the bills her irresponsible mother (and that’s not judging but stating a fact) left for her along with the ones that would come every month, and then coming home to eat an unhealthy, poor excuse for a meal and sleep for a few instants before getting up to diligently go to school in order to avoid suspicious looks from people who love to gossip. With her health as it was she certainly could not afford to have such a routine.

At that moment I realized there are many people in the same situation as hers out there and a lot of people living under much worse conditions, yet what pains me the most is to find out there was someone so close to me living like that while I was completely unaware.

Some could see this as a very strong attribute of hers, to try and go this far without anyone’s help: I think that was selfish of her.

But who am I to blame her for not asking for help? I probably wasn’t even around when this started and even if she told this to Kouma Yon, chances are Kouma’s mother would have just reported this to Child Services or something like that because that is what a responsible law-abiding person should do, technically flawless but the results in practice are not the same you’d expect by following the theory, often much darker instead. Not only that: when I had my own problem in the past my first reaction was running away despite the fact Ryo was the first person I saw right after the whole thing happened so I don’t think I can easily be considered reliable and centered. She was probably too scared to even think, without anyone to help her.

In the end, aren’t we all?

“Shin-tsu, could you come here?” She said, in a low voice that could barely be heard reverberating in the apartment. “I think I’ve got everything I nee-” 

But her sentence was cut due to shock but the apparently fated silence was avoided by the fall of the box she had been holding onto, and it was definitely my fault. The reason for that reflex was my sudden movement in her direction and the subsequent action, holding her in my arms as what I imagine to a father embracing his children after they got hurt. Perhaps the strength I used was a little bit more than I intended, possibly because she was not the only one with parental issues.

“It’s okay, Ryo. You can let it out now. I'm here.” 

I expected and almost wished her to say one of her extremely long speeches full of data or have a retort that was both witty and innocent but her reply was awfully short, almost minimalist.

“…thank you.” 

And then she cried in a rather loud, impolite and tangibly honest manner for a while.

Later when Shiina Ryo decided she had cried enough to be able to stand it, Akane’s mother was sensible and drove us around without making many, if any questions. The path travelled by the van seemed not only melancholic but empty as if the only thing in the world who felt like talking was the delivery car’s motor that resonated soundly and accentuated the shades of grey present in every street.

When we were carrying the final boxes to my place I was approached by our hippie driver, who not as much as offered but forced me to accept a certain amount of cash out of her eco-friendly wallet I was pretty sure she could not simply spare. I tried again and again to say we would be fine because I had some extra money, but she made me take it out of kindness and care. Few would be able to go that far to help strangers these days, regardless of their beliefs and views of the world.

It was definitely not a question of trust, because she trusted us enough to give us money she worked hard to make but not enough to believe me when I said we had the financial situation under control. Sure, sometimes it’s hard to ask for help or even accept the kindness of semi-strangers.

Perhaps I am being biased as Kouma said I was once again, but her individual altruistic action made me consider a hypothesis I have long ignored: perhaps there is a chance mankind still has hope. I might be wrong and believing that might be a mistake, but that is a privilege the young are given.

Like this thing I’m doing.

Bringing a female friend to live with me might be a mistake, both of us being pretty broken as human beings, young and not having an adult to look after us in the house. Still, even if it turns out to be an error in the long run, I have to do it now and probably won’t regret a thing.

Not out of gratitude or romantic feelings but out of something I could not yet define and probably never will. There are things better off unnamed and unspoken.

…no, it’s too late for that.

Overlooking things on purpose and at command is an acquired skill used mostly to avoid red herrings and mind control. My version of it has saved my life a few times and probably got into someone else’s path many others. To live through life as if only my life matters and seeing others as either obstacles or peons is not the prettiest way of seeing this world but I’m sure there are worse ways. Not that it justifies every ugly action I might make to achieve what I wish for, but then again I never claimed to be a good or bad guy.

Thus I will help her out of egoism.

Because making her happy makes me happy, because knowing she suffers hurts me, because comforting her when she is sad soothes my heart as well. More than relate to, she understands me and vice-versa. I don’t even regret coming here, despite all the trouble we have been put through so far, because deep down I know I like the way Ryo and the others make me feel in general.

Thus, I will keep acting so their reactions will bounce back hard enough to generate reactions in me too. One way to look at this situation is to believe that’s how human relationships do work and thus I am not being wrong or a bad, just seeing this whole thing the wrong way because of my wicked, broken and rather cynical view of life, byproduct of years of inconstancy.

There is no way for me to see it like everything is so black-and-white simple; I am just not that optimistic.

Love, in any form, is a flawed concept in my opinion so I say let’s leave it at egoism, and at least for now my word is final; not because I can’t feel any love, but merely because I cannot bring myself to believe in it so easily. Not to say I deny its existence, but I can’t just believe it like you can’t trust a travelling vendor with magical beans smiling his face off. But then again, who’s to tell? Maybe it is an honest fellow...

I'm more than quick to run away but not one to know when to stay, thus I shall learn to balance between those two or get caught in another net. As long as I rely on others to save me things will never be okay, so I’ll let Time test Love and tell me the results before I make any deals I might regret.

== Part 6 ==

Obligatory time skip.

Every day I went to the hospital to visit Reikoku-sensei, hold her hand and read her the news or a novel even though the doctors told me, half-heartedly for it wasn’t in them to crush a highschooler’s apparent idealism, that her brain was far from operational at that point and it was very unlikely that she could receive any of the information, let alone recover.

The nurses were a lot nicer to me after it was clear I wasn’t romantically involved with her or anything, thinking I was some sort of angel-like student and I could see them tearing up whenever I gave them a bittersweet smile after a whole afternoon and twilight of being there and leaving for another inter-cities travel.

Sadly I felt a great amount of guilt despite knowing she was ready for an outcome even worse than this. It was my purgatory, to watch her alone. On a particular day, however, I went there with company. The three scheming students whose Pyrrhic victory resulted in her vegetative state: Kouma, the derivative polymath; Ryo, the splitting designer; and me, the vague executor.

Anomie, ambiguity and ambivalence sitting in a hospital room.

Without us asking like the last time she went out to buy us something, Kouma left with the promise of bringing three coffee cans. Instead of talking to Ryo immediately, I knew better than to trust the fashionista to just leave us alone.

My instincts were right.

I caught Kouma looking at us by using the many pieces of metal and glass present in the hospital as mirrors like Akane did and then something became painfully obvious to me. The reason why it was possible Kouma Yon would able to save me by moving her mind back in time just once without her lack of presence in the second timeline at the places she was in the first affecting the outcome, against all odds that exist in such a scenario is so simple and bland my mind just ignored automatically. A bias of mine.

She knew every little thing and every single move I’d make because she watched me from very close.

All.

<center>The.</center>

 Time. 

Honestly, I did not know what I should do in the light of such evidence and the reason was simple.

It was a lie of hers; whenever a con tells you it’s all over, doubt.

Kouma saying it was the first time she travelled back in time was absurd. No matter how good she was, she simply could not do it properly the first time. Not to that extent, no sir, she couldn’t. I knew she couldn’t create anything from scratch, so how could she come up with a plan like that in one day when it was hard to believe she would be able to do in a lifetime? Wasn’t it safe to assume her absolute lack of creativity was what got her ‘stuck’ with Ryo in the first place, too? The only logical explanation I could see was that her plan was a combination of several she has seen through the several timelines she has been in while searching for the best possible outcome.

Considering how things turned out, it wouldn’t surprise me in any way if even the flaws in the plan, in making me take the lead by telling me I shouldn’t, in having Reikoku-sensei harmed even were all just a well-done mix-and-match game for her. If the latter was true, the hypocrisy in having her there in the hospital room would be overwhelming and I was prone to reacting with violence...

…unless there was a good explanation to go so far as putting our teacher into a coma. After all, assuming she has gone several times back in time and this is the best scenario it goes without saying that for some reason the other ones must have been, at the very least in Kouma’s point of view, worse outcomes. She did see herself as a limited god beyond morals, so it was not much of a stretch, to assume she'd deliver a simultaneously preemptive and retroactive sentence as an all-knowing judge with the power to stop tragedies. What I needed to know was whether a tragedy for Kouma Yon was the same as a tragedy for all of us or if I was within range of a powerful enemy.

Either way I had a sure mode of testing it once and for all.

“Kouma, Ryo. Listen.” I said, going in for the kill; the stakes were high enough to ruin all that had been building up but I just wasn’t done with the game yet. “I have to tell you guys about Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan.” 

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User talk:Ryuno

2012-08-29T20:38:52Z

Ryuno:

RYU~NO~ ;3

--[[User:Zakkun|Zakkun]] 00:50, 3 May 2012 (CDT)
* Zakkyun~~ --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

----
You should email me or pm through the forum; I rarely log into the wiki.

--[[User:Thelastguardian|Thelastguardian]] 21:57, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
*hi. i decided to continue here, as that was the discussion of my novel, not yours. on that discussion page ppl want to read about your novel, if you get what i mean. 
anyway. thank you for your advice. although i'm forced to make a compromise. i'll start writing the first chapter in the next few days, if my lazyness decides to take a vacation.(although i don't know for sure where the plot will go after that) but still, i'm not Nabokov, and i cant't just write without thinking out the plot first. for example if i started writing 2 days ago, i would have not included a very important character trait, which i only came up with yesterday. so i would have had to rewrite the whole thing.so i'll wait before writing the 2nd chapter untill i think of the continuation of the plot. also, i enjoy writing down ideas for my novel, even if it will be a whole notebook. PS. i'm getting better at arithmetics thanks to baka-tsuki. btw does Underground Tower have anything to do with Longing of Shiina Ryou? --[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 14:06, 14 October 2010 (UTC)
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I'd like to see the first chapter when it's done. Also, UT is unrelated to The Longing of Shiina Ryo but directly related to 12:12 -twelfth honor deed-, although that might sound weird. Arithmetics? I'm currently studying probability theory, physics and biology to apply on The Longing of Shiina Ryo. --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]] 
* okay about 1st chapter. i meant that when you edit pages on baka-tsuki, it asks you to solve problems like 1+2=...and wait, so you have other completed novels? where can i read them? + that's some serious research you are doing. i can imagine the difficulty of applying physics, when the main character can bend time and space. for my novel, i need to re-read some psychology books. i dont intend to have characters behaving in strange ways, like a guy having a harem of girls in love with him, but he can't choose either of them. also, i've found it to be easy and very pleasing if you base a character on yourself. i've noticed that in your novel too, with the bass guitar for example. PS. ah, what the hell, i'll start writing now! although it's 1 o'clock at night and i have work tommorow.--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 20:24, 14 October 2010 (UTC)
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Oh, yeah, the math problems when editing! They sure are fun, except when the same ones appear twice in a row. 
No, but I have 12:12 -twelfth honor deed-'s game demo. It kind of sucks because we had like, two weeks to get it done (in order to be able to present a seminar on a college event). Still, it's a project I pretty much HAVE to finish because it is connected to the Underground Tower's final arc (by a '''third''' story called ''Sin of the Moon, Punishment of the Sun''). 
Shin-tsu thinks he was able to bend Space and Time but even in a small place like that warehouse some damage to the surroundings would have been caused by running at the speed Time "stops"; still, he managed to get there just in time to stop Ryo from suffering the damage from the fall. If he has any "power", it's his unstoppable hot-bloodness in times of need. He just needs to stop acting like a wuss and start fighting his own battles, but I'm afraid those things take time. 
Basing characters on yourself is a great way to go, especially if you have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Also, there's more of those shameless personal-interest-inserts coming because the second novel is about Shin-tsu joining a band at school. 
PS: Go for it! --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]] 
*i actually haven't slept since my last reply, lol. i've been writing untill morning and then went to work. but i have only written 2 pages (1000 words) about someone eating breakfast.it was fun, but i hoped to write more in 4 hours, lol. i'll wait for future volumes then. i hope you will explain in detail what is happening to Shin-tsu and why he's having these delusions of superpower. and i've also included my hobby in my novel, which really wouldn't seem to fit into the story for a person not familiar with the hobby. about the dissociative identity disorder. 1)if you meant that you can use the 2nd identity as a base for the character, there would be the problem of the identities having seperate banks of memory(you don't remember what you did when the 2nd identity takes control of your body), meaning - you can't know your other identity nearly as well as yours and thus it becomes a poor model. you don't know it's reasoning, logic, desires and so on. so in the end it becomes basing a character on another person and not on yourself, which are two diferent things. 2) if you meant that if you had the disorder, you'd use yourself as a base for a character that has the same disorder, then i agree with you. --[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 14:07, 15 October 2010 (UTC)
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More than one alternative is "correct", and that's why I love the English language; ambiguity is easy to achieve. --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]] 
* Yeah, english rocks, lol. Many russians say that english is more primitive than russian, but i definitely do not agree. i respect the unique grammatical structures, which allow you to form sentences in interesting ways not possible in my native language. Which pretty much explains why i'm writing a novel in english and not in russian. btw, did you write your novel in english or did you write it in portugese and then translated it to english? 4 pages written. the chapter will be 15-20 pages long. I hope you don't mind me writing this. i can't really explain all the stupid reasons for doing so, but in general i think it will help me write faster. i'm weird, i know. i'll post updates on my progress of the chapter (2-3 pages at a time) on my user talk page in the future as to not clutter YOUR talk page. I should probably talk less and write more... --[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 00:19, 19 October 2010 (UTC)
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I wrote it in English because, well, I really don't like how my mother language is changing; recently there were several changes made to our grammar and in my not-so-humble opinion they only make room for misunderstandings (as in taking away a special sign that made the difference between two words that, while being pronounced differently are now written in the exact same way). I refuse to accept those changes because they are making Brazilian Portuguese (a dialect that was so defined and well-structured) poorer. There's also the fact I presumed I would have bigger chances at getting published if I wrote in English (especially considering people don't read around here, let alone fantasy and manga-like stories). I am looking forward to your story, my friend. --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]] 
*btw, can you give me a link to your poem please? or send it to me by email, if thats easier. lol, if you want, i can send you my short poem in return. idiffer3@rambler.ru --[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 00:59, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
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Sent, and I'd love to read your poem. --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]] 
*replied to your email. --[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 12:04, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
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==Vol. 2 edits==

so i edited the third chapter. there were some lines i was unsure of. can you please take a look at the discussion page of chapter 3? --[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 16:06, 8 May 2012 (CDT)
* Doing so. Thank you very much! --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
:answered in the discussion page. still some issues. my replies start with a bullet point(if that's what it's called).
*like this--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 17:25, 8 May 2012 (CDT)

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Deleted the page just as you requested. :) --[[User:Lan013|Lan013]] ([[User talk:Lan013|talk]]) 15:35, 29 August 2012 (CDT)
* Thank you very much! --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun Prologue

2012-08-29T20:24:55Z

Ryuno:

My name is Kizuna Jun. I am a twenty years old college dropout who started working at a factory three months ago. During the time I’ve been there I acquired, or rather, developed a strange ability: I can project a multitude of horns out of my body, having enough control over the extension of them to use my arms and legs covered in the marrow tools of impalement as heavy cactus-looking sledgehammers. Kind of neat, I know. Still, there is a problem with it that renders it absolutely useless for the purposes I had in mind.

It does not make me any more popular with the chicks.

I have to be honest, this usually is ''not'' a problem: no matter what kind of flaws you might have, there’s always someone crazy enough to like you. Sometimes, people don’t find them specifically because they’re too busy looking for each other. This should not sound strange at all for anyone who ever watched a romantic comedy: if you have trouble finding the keys of your car, why wouldn’t you have at least twice as much looking for a moving target you don’t know what looks like (except for a vague idea based on your own preferences, but it’s always a surprise how often your romantic interests might divert from the formula) and might be looking for you in all wrong places too? This is ridiculous. If you stay still enough, someone is bound to find you unless the two of you have the same idea. According to experience, they hardly ever think of this.

And if that really fails, whatever you might be interested in, there’s probably already more than enough content of it on the Internet: even if you disregard the kind of sites that would make your service provider itself call the police on you, I bet you could find platonic romance or more just by being there because, much like life, things like that are bound to happen as long as there are people: if you feel lonely and positioned somewhere you can be found, it’s all a matter of waiting.

Thing is, Valentine’s Day is coming and I really like chocolate.

Even a self-proclaimed pariah like me would not dare buying chocolate in Japan so close to that date; the implications are just too overwhelming for me, being male and all. I would feel their gaze on the back of my head, seeing me as a real loner who won’t get it even from coworkers as an obligation gift, and those even more daring would see me as the kind of guy who has a boyfriend. Not that there’s a problem with that but hey, I’m an oddball but not that sort of ‘queer’.

Sure, I could try and look cool buying fancy, high-end stuff but that would make me regret it deeply when I realize how much of my paycheck would be gone just to keep appearances; I could even get just a simple, unpretentious and casual chocolate bar and get done with it.

I want neither.

What I need, what I crave for is chocolate given to me by someone I’m with, regardless of price: I’m positive people have gotten together with others for shallower reasons before, such as attraction. This goes way back to my highschool days when I wasn’t half as popular with the opposite sex and was naïve enough to actively seek for love. Call it a curse if you will, but I was never in a relationship by the time the Valentine’s Day would arrive. Oh, from then on I could or not find someone (and there were moments it felt like girls would break up with me just to avoid buying me chocolate but we would get back together just in time to make me spend money on White Day). It is a personal thing I absolutely must do, so this year I decided to leave it all for the last minute to avoid the possibility of conveniently placed break ups. Figured it would be an easy task: even in this small town there must be girls desperate not to be alone, may it have to do with having someone to show off to their so-called friends or not.

These are the tales of how wrong I was.

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The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun 1st date: Shiina Ryo

2012-08-29T20:23:23Z

Ryuno: Can anyone delete the other one?

I approached her table without a good idea on how I would do it, but what little I knew about cold reading gave me an idea. That, or the fact the papers she was trying to organize had words such as ‘outline’, ‘plot’, ‘character ability sheet’ and stuff written on them.

She was probably younger than me but to some extent it was hard to tell due to her, erm, mature proportions. I guess kids really develop faster these days, there must be some truth in that whole ‘hormones in the water’ gossip going all around the world.

“So you write?” 
“Not really, because I’m a writer.” She just looked at me for a moment as if I was meant to react to that. “It was a joke. Fiction writers hardly write, you know: they plot and devise day and night, but writing? Funny as it might sound, the only situation a writer really writes on a regular basis is when adapting the query letters he or she sends to hundreds of publishers so the e-mail system won’t tag it as spam. Which is ironic, since most of them will send you automated answers back when rejecting your work. And be sure they will do it again and again one at a time, like the companies work as a tag team against you.” 

Well, great date already. I sure knew how to pick females. No wonder I was single.

Could be worse.

“Oh, I see. I work in a factory. Carrying weight and cutting stuff, pretty much.” 
“Sounds interesting. What is it like?" 

That wasn’t the kind of reaction I was used to, so before I told her more about the wonderful world of building banners I had to confirm she really wanted to know about it.

”Why do you ask? Research for a story or sheer curiosity?” 
“Aren’t those the same?” 

Landmine checked: stepped on it, and stepped on it good.

“Point taken.” I bit my cookie with hardly any interest. “It’s insanely boring, but not as depressing as outsiders think if you’re not particularly afraid of manual labor and standing up all day. Colleagues are pretty much macho jerks with no lives, but even jerks have good qualities and if you ever feel like drinking, which I shouldn’t advise because you’re underage, they can be a lot of fun. Pay is fair coming from the point no one there, and by that I mean my sector, took their studies too seriously and there’s always the chance of climbing to the top by making use of the offered scholarship programs. Considerably better than the standards of the Industrial Revolution.” 
“You’re kinda cool.” 

Really? I did my best there and all I got was a ‘kinda’? Girl, you should be putting me under a chocolate shower after that. No, wait, ‘chocolate shower’ doesn’t give me the best of mental images, thank you very much, Internet.

''You’re welcome.''

W-w-what the hell was that?

''Oh, sorry.''
''Wrong self-defeating first person narrator.''
''Carry on with your quest.''

The girl looked at me curiously when my focus went from the mysterious voice speaking in underlined italics inside my head to her and I considered going back to therapy once this was all done.

For the moment I sighed, trying to regain composure.

“Is that so? Cool enough for chocolate?” 

And then I wanted to hit myself. Getting straight to the point like that was a surefire way to end up the day with not even a faint smell of cocoa. Sure, I hadn’t been in that kind of situation in a while, but it was no excuse for my behavior. Where was my courtesy? Had I complimented the girl yet? Had I even asked her name?

“...I don’t think you need a certain degree of coolness to get chocolate, just money.” She bit her lip. “If anyone told you that, they were probably pulling your leg.” 

...I seemed to have missed something here. Was she taking what I said seriously?

“Uh, it was a joke.” 

It really wasn’t, and frankly, I wasn’t expecting to get away with that either. Except I did, and her reaction surprised me once more.

“Oh, I see. I don’t usually understand jokes very well as they’re happening, and I was only explaining it to you because I was considering you could be the same. It makes some situations with people hard to deal with and so I figured it would be for the best to share intel on this because there is no point in not taking part in something you want if you can, right? You want chocolate and you can get it, so why shouldn't you just because of a joke? It would be a whole other thing if it could harm your health, but...”

And then I understood her reasoning: this was because I didn’t get her first joke either.

Out of concern for a potential fellow in different sense of, or rather, mild ignorance of humor, she didn’t mind going out of her way to offer input even if it wasn’t really needed. Even in a small town like this, it wasn’t as easy to find people willing to help others they didn’t know because everyone seems to be always too scared of being made a fool of, not without reason. Hell, even I was just talking to her to get myself some cocoa goods, so it was a very close-to-home thing. That was very sweet. Not so sweet I didn’t want her chocolate anymore, no sweetness from a girl could ever compare, but it was very heartwarming.

“That’s good information right there. Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome. It’s kind of a superpower, really.” 

And then I saw my opening. Brushing aside pride and the compassion, I turned myself into the conqueror once more to achieve my final goal.

“Thing is, I do have a superpower too.” 

Her eyes started shining and I knew I hit jackpot with that line. That chocolate, I mean, that girl, was mine!

“Oh. Explain it to me.” 

That girl was one of a kind. She didn’t even question the existence of it, the probability of me just being joking again. She just had curiosity on how.

I saw an opportunity so I came and...

“Wouldn’t you rather go somewhere and have me show it to you?” 

...failed to conquer. The look on her face blatantly showed me I was once again too forward.

“No thanks, I’m waiting for someone here. Besides, looks can be deceiving and I have very little interest in the execution of things in comparison to their concepts. Hearing it out should give me a better understanding as long as you do a proper job of explaining it.” 

It was hard telling where did the caring person ended and the insensitive one began.

“So spikes. Like that one Mutant guy.” She seemed utterly disappointed. “How original.” 

She gazed to the side very dramatically, as if hoping for the person she was waiting for to just come and take her away from me. Author or not, you can always be sure a girl knows how to hurt your pride with a single gesture.

“No, horns. Heavy ones, very strong.” 
“Oh.” 

She stood still like the news shocked her deeply.

“Is there anything wro-” 
“Wait. You’re telling me your superpower is to materialize horns out of your body.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Give me a second, maybe I’m just going full ‘split-thinking’ here.” 

She grabbed her phone and spent around two minutes typing and scrolling so fast I couldn’t believe she was actually doing anything other than punch buttons to release stress, which left me very unsettled, until she stopped with a cat-like smile on her face.

“What were you doi-” 
“Research. Sorry about that, I just had to ensure you didn’t just told me something really silly there.” 

At that point I wasn’t even sure if I should feel offended or not.

“What?” 
“I was thinking they were just regular horns coming out of your body, which would be very bad in battle especially if they’re heavy like you said. But they’re actually projectiles, right? You shoot ‘em like arrows and can take down even strong wood doors, right?” 
“Uh, no?” 

She seemed confused.

“OK, so are they poisoned?” 
“I don’t think so.” 
“Extendable?” 
“Not very far, no.” 

Her left hand angrily touched her forehead like she was trying to dig something she missed out of it.

“Can you at least plant them on stuff?” 
“Nope, they’re gone once they lose contact with my body.” 

At which point she clearly lost it.

“...are you serious?” 
“Why, is that bad?” 
“Of all possible powers, your main way to fight is ridiculously close ranged and by that I mean running and tackling people or things.” 
“It looks a lot cooler than it sounds though...” 

Only then I realized my mistake: someone so focused on the conceptual parts would not give a damn about whether it looked cool or not. Worse than that, if we were to look deep into it, I basically just told a writer that special effects make up for the lack of well-thought plot devices. The look on her face told me I wasn’t over analyzing it, not a little bit more than her anyway. Primal fear started taking over and I felt my legs getting restless.

A storm was coming.

“OH MY SCIENCE, YOUR ABILITY IS GO ‘HORNY’ ON COMMAND.” 
“I appreciate the pun and all but...” 
“ARE YOU EVEN TRYING HERE? CAN YOU EVEN CALL THAT A SPECIAL ABILITY?” 
“Uh, I think this date is over...” 

Because the situation clearly couldn't get any worse, I had to run my mouth.

“WHAT DATE? YOU JUST CAME HERE AND ASKED IF I WROTE OUT OF NOWHERE! I WAS BEING POLITE. WERE YOU TRYING TO PICK ME UP, AND BY TALKING TO ME ABOUT SUPERPOWERS WHILE AT THAT? WHY, BECAUSE ANY GIRL SITTING ALONE ON A CAFE IS JUST WAITING FOR A MAGICAL MALE TO COME AND SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET? HOW MUCH OF A DESPERATE CREEPER CAN YOU BE?” 

Everyone in the cafe was looking at me.

“I’ll just go and...” 
“DON’T IGNORE ME!” 

I dropped money for my drink on the table and ran away from the cafe and made a point of never trying to hit on someone on a maid cafe again.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun Prologue

2012-08-29T20:15:26Z

Ryuno: Spin-off time!

My name is Kizuna Jun. I am a twenty years old college dropout who started working at a factory three months ago. During the time I’ve been there I acquired, or rather, developed a strange ability: I can project a multitude of horns out of my body, having enough control over the extension of them to use my arms and legs covered in the marrow tools of impalement as heavy cactus-looking sledgehammers. Kind of neat, I know. Still, there is a problem with it that renders it absolutely useless for the purposes I had in mind.

It does not make me any more popular with the chicks.

I have to be honest, this usually is ''not'' a problem: no matter what kind of flaws you might have, there’s always someone crazy enough to like you. Sometimes, people don’t find them specifically because they’re too busy looking for each other. This should not sound strange at all for anyone who ever watched a romantic comedy: if you have trouble finding the keys of your car, why wouldn’t you have at least twice as much looking for a moving target you don’t know what looks like (except for a vague idea based on your own preferences, but it’s always a surprise how often your romantic interests might divert from the formula) and might be looking for you in all wrong places too? This is ridiculous. If you stay still enough, someone is bound to find you unless the two of you have the same idea. According to experience, they hardly ever think of this.

And if that really fails, whatever you might be interested in, there’s probably already more than enough content of it on the Internet: even if you disregard the kind of sites that would make your service provider itself call the police on you, I bet you could find platonic romance or more just by being there because, much like life, things like that are bound to happen as long as there are people: if you feel lonely and positioned somewhere you can be found, it’s all a matter of waiting.

Thing is, Valentine’s Day is coming and I really like chocolate.

Even a self-proclaimed pariah like me would not dare buying chocolate in Japan so close to that date; the implications are just too overwhelming for me, being male and all. I would feel their gaze on the back of my head, seeing me as a real loner who won’t get it even from coworkers as an obligation gift, and those even more daring would see me as the kind of guy who has a boyfriend. Not that there’s a problem with that but hey, I’m an oddball but not that sort of ‘queer’.

Sure, I could try and look cool buying fancy, high-end stuff but that would make me regret it deeply when I realize how much of my paycheck would be gone just to keep appearances; I could even get just a simple, unpretentious and casual chocolate bar and get done with it.

I want neither.

What I need, what I crave for is chocolate given to me by someone I’m with, regardless of price: I’m positive people have gotten together with others for shallower reasons before, such as attraction. This goes way back to my highschool days when I wasn’t half as popular with the opposite sex and was naïve enough to actively seek for love. Call it a curse if you will, but I was never in a relationship by the time the Valentine’s Day would arrive. Oh, from then on I could or not find someone (and there were moments it felt like girls would break up with me just to avoid buying me chocolate but we would get back together just in time to make me spend money on White Day). It is a personal thing I absolutely must do, so this year I decided to leave it all for the last minute to avoid the possibility of conveniently placed break ups. Figured it would be an easy task: even in this small town there must be girls desperate not to be alone, may it have to do with having someone to show off to their so-called friends or not.

These are the tales of how wrong I was.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc 1st date: Shiina Ryo|1st date: Shiina Ryo]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-08-29T20:13:24Z

Ryuno: oops

[[Image: Ryodraft.jpg‎ |thumb|Shiina Ryo, draft by kyuu]]
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is a light novel series written by [http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com/ Ryuno].

==Story Synopsis==
A teenager who has always found himself involved in mysteries and unusual situations decides to move to the town where his only friend (a girl he met online) lives and starts living by himself. At first he is unsure whether it’s going to be a place where he can finally lead the normal life he always dreamed of or if it’s going to be just another place he’ll eventually run away from. The town turns out to be everything the doctor prescribed and he starts falling in love with his friend, making new (and unique) friends and getting the support he has craved for so long. What could go wrong?

Just what he feared the most.

== Editing ==
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is an Original English Language light novel written by an author whose mother language is not English, therefore mistakes can (and most likely will) occur. Correction of grammatical errors is welcomed and encouraged as long as the editor also posts an explanation of what was corrected in the talk page, in order to help the author to avoid future mistakes.

== Updates ==
*Novel 2 chapter releases are scheduled to be weekly.

==''The Longing Of Shiina Ryo '' by Ryuno==

===Volume 1 - first week case [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/The%20Longing%20Of%20Shiina%20Ryo.pdf PDF]===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 1: Ryo|Chapter 1: Ryo]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 2: Reikoku|Chapter 2: Reikoku]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 3: Kouma|Chapter 3: Kouma]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 4: Ayaka|Chapter 4: Ayaka]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 1.5 - Extra story===
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 metamonogatari|metamonogatari]]

===Volume 2 - d.m.c. [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2|(Full Text)]] ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi|Chapter 1: Megumi]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane|Chapter 2: Akane]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin|Chapter 3: Rin]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 3 - time to heal ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*'''Chapter 1: Purpose: The Flawless Execution of Kouma Yon and A Certain Teacher’s Mr. Heaven'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]

===Bonus Disc===
*'''Red Orchestra, by Cyul and Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Tuning - Colision Course|Tuning - Colision Course]]
*'''Hawk eye and Rainbow Girl, by Gilles'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl|Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl]]
*'''Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun, by Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun 1st date: Shiina Ryo|1st date: Shiina Ryo]]
==Project Staff==

*Project Administrator: [[user:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
*Project Editor: Zehava
[[Category:Hosted Projects]]
[[Category:Original]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Tuning - Colision Course

2012-08-29T20:12:27Z

Ryuno: Cyul brought this amazing prologue to the table. I'll be editing the rest of the story and posting it along the other chapters of novel 3.

Can an imaginary almighty being limit itself by turning impossible deeds into possible? That question became a sparkle, Greek fire for philosophers which hadn’t been extinguished by any satisfying answers.

Thomas Aquinas said that the question was just a misunderstanding of God’s qualms.

Rene Descartes just ignored the problem, believing that omnipotence is absolute.

Augustine of Hippo simply accepted that God couldn’t do something which makes him not God.

Isaac Asimov, using the unstoppable force paradox as example and relativistic theory as argument, deemed the problem as logical fallacy of pseudo-question.

I wasn’t satisfied by any of these answers. The problem was of the kind which couldn’t be solved through pure discussions, after all. It needed something more.

Let me explain. People already thought that some existences were almighty and omnipotent. Let’s take fire, natural forces and lightning as examples.

In first case people just needed to observe and use something besides their bodies to overcome the bestial fear of heat and flames.

Natural forces were understood to some degree only when mankind was able to look outside its small box.

Lightning was stripped of its almighty qualms after a simple experiment, performed by Benjamin Franklin.

That was where a way to my not-found-yet solution, which (not) coincidentally was similar to Laplace’s demon, lay. Observing, looking outside the boundaries and experimenting. Quite simple, wasn’t it?

However, I needed to find miniatures to reenact one of paradox’s variations about unstoppable force and immovable objects. I already had one or, rather, one of them was already residing in me, though.

The problem was in finding the other half of solution. Uncountable days flew and flew in my careful, yet fruitless searching for candidates. Was the frustration from my efforts the reason for establishing link with my Shugoshin? I still don’t know if it is the case.

Fortunately, the remaining piece of riddle was eventually found in one peculiar student who somehow managed to steal my heart. A cunning liar with crystal-clear heart and cloudy mind, that was my image of him. His actions, his modus operandi were simple, yet I felt that there was something more to that. And his Shugoshin didn’t prove me wrong. The feeling which appeared in my mind when I’ve seen him in that form told me that the key part of my experiment was really him.

And so, I needed time and preparations to finally solve that riddle which wasn’t included in Freud’s books. With great anticipation I took my phone off the table, slowly, and in order, pressed its buttons and made the call which would be one of last touches in preparations to my experiment.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Bonus Disc Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl

2012-08-29T20:08:08Z

Ryuno: Megumi talking about Akane's body gets me every time. Great job, Gilles.

"Yo, Akane! Hey, over here!" 

In the dimly lit cafe, in stark contrast to the once quiet atmosphere stands a colorful spectacle.
Having gotten up from her seat, presumably to get someone's attention, a girl with messy, multicolored hair, tattoo'd arms, and numerous piercings stands beckoning.

As to whose attention she is trying to get- it would be mine.

Ignoring the glances from other cafe patrons, as I've grown so accustomed to, I make my way over to the table where the metallic rainbow has retaken her seat.

She sits there, beaming a grin so warm and inviting it bellies the brightness of her rainbow hair.

Good evening... Did you wait long? I asked.

"Nah, I just got here a few minutes ago." she says, sipping her iced coffee. 

Long enough to order, it seems. I told her.

"Meh... Ah! What'll you get? Excuse me, miss waitress!" she said, ushering a young, flustered girl in a chic shirt and apron over to us. 

"Ah, y-yes, how can I help you...?" the girl asked, obviously confused as to how to respond to the spectacle in front of her. 

It was understandable... Sort of. I'd imagine it would be difficult for someone unfamiliar with Megumi to talk to her in a normal way. From the ink covering her slender, white arms to the metal gracing her... Not-so-delicate, but far from unattractive facial features. From her unkempt, multicolored hair to her most striking feature- those beautiful, heterochromatic eyes. Everything about her seemed to require a double take from people who are not used to her particular brand of apparent societal rebellion.

But I was fine with that. This simply meant that there was less competition.

While I grinned knowingly to myself, a faint voice suddenly brought me back to reality.

"Um... Miss?" said the waitress. 
"Yo, Earth to Akane?" said the anthropomorphized rainbow. 

I will return to this inner monologue at another time.

"Ah, y-yes, sorry... I'll have a cappuccino please. With s-soy milk..." I told the waitress, who was all to relieved to take her leave after jotting down my order on a memo pad. 
"You've been spacing out a lot lately. Everything ok?" asked Megumi, apparently concerned.
Yeah, I'm just kinda tired from helping mom. I told her. 
"Right, sorry about that. I would've helped, but-" 

It's fine, all we really did was go around making deliveries. The work itself, which consisted simply of sitting in the back of the van half the time, and taking bouquet's and other sorted arrangements up to the doors of some places was far from tiring. No, it was the fact that I had been up since around five this morning. I told her.

Also... Her reason. I did not want to hear it...

Oh, right.

"Here, Megumi." I said, pulling out an unwrapped box from my bag. 
"Hm? ... Akane, this...?" she asked, regarding the box with confusion. 

It's a present. I said. I suppose just looking at the box wouldn't really convey that all to well. But giving Megumi a neatly wrapped box was a colossal waste of time, as she would tear into it anyway... I suppose a bow wouldn't have hurt, though... Note to self.

"Hm? Silly, it ain't my birthday... I don't think. And I know it isn't Valentines Day." said Megumi. 

First of all, were it Valentine's Day, I believe I would be the one getting the present. My turn to give would not come until White Day. I told her. 

"Hm? Since when am I the... Eh, what do you call them again? I heard Shin-Tsu's friend talking about it the other day... 'Uke'?" she asked, tilting her head quizzically. 

We can ponder archtypes later. Just open it. I told her. 

"...Akane, this..." 

No sooner had she sad that did our waitress return, setting my iced mocha on the table in front of me.

"Ah, t-thank you..." I said, blowing on my cappuccino before taking a sip. 

Mm... It's good. I tell Megumi.

"...pffft! Aha, Akane..." 
"Yes? What is it, Megu-" 

Before I could finish, Megumi reaches her hand across the table. Extending her index finger and brushing it against my cheek before drawing it back to her mouth, licking said finger.

"... And that was for...?" 
"Foam. On your face. You looked so silly." she said, laughing. 

... I wonder if my face is as read as it feels. Judging by Megumi's still smiling, still amused face, I'd be willing to bet that it was.

As I wondered if this was what happiness felt like, I realized that I had to save some face. Ahem.

"Megumi! You can't just... Geez, remember that we're in public" I said, putting on my best pout-ey face. 

Her reply was to stick out her pierced tongue and wink at me.

... Ok, yeah. That's cute. That's just cute. If she were to make a face like that after LICKING my face in public, I'm pretty sure all embarrassment I felt would evaporate instantly.

After finishing our respective beverages, we exited the cafe, and begun walking back to my house.
The walk wasn't long. It was only about three blocks from my house to the cafe.

While walking, "Akane... Are you sure it's alright for me to have this? I mean, you-" 

I want her to have it. I know time together like this... There rose colored days, will inevitably be short... I want to give her something to remember me by, and this is ok. I told her.

"... Akane" she whispered, leaning closer to me. 

I'm going to take a shower. I told her. I'm kinda tired, so I will probably go to bed after I eat...

"You want me to play you a lullaby?" she asked, I'd assume jokingly. 

You don't know any lullabies. I told her.

"I could learn, ya know." 

In the time it took me to take a shower? I somehow doubted that.

Closing the door behind me, I quickly de-robe, and turn the water on, testing it, until it gets warm.

Mm... Feels go-

"Oh, hey, Akane, mom want's to know if pasta salad is ok" said Megumi, opening the door to the bathroom 
"..." 
"Oh, right, you said you were going to take a shower. My bad~ So, about the pasta..." 

... If you walked in on a girl, as she was standing, stark naked in front of a shower, would you linger? Megumi, apparently, would.

"Pasta salad is fine" I told her. 

I've long since resigned myself to... Happy little accidents like this. I don't mind, really. I mean, if it's Megumi, I wouldn't mind her seeing me, but... A little forewarning would be nice.

"Alright, I'll let mom know." said the peeper. Right as she was shutting the door, "Oh, hey, Akane, did your boobs get bigger?" she asked, tilting her head quizzically. 

They had, actually. But I opted to ignore that last statement, stepping into the shower once it reached a suitable temperature.

That girl... Honestly... I heaved a light sigh as the hot water washed over me, placing a hand to my blushing cheek.

After getting out of the shower and towling myself dry, I make my way back to my room, where I am met with pleasant strumming.

... My little rock princess is playing soft, easy listening? I can't believe my ears.

But, sure enough, entering the room, there is Megumi, strumming away on her now tuned guitar...
It sounds good. I told her.

"Ah, your out... Oh, Akane your hair is still wet" 
"Hm?" I touch my hair and it is still dripping wet. "Oh, I guess I forgot to dry it off." 
"Silly, come here" said Megumi, setting her guitar aside before standing up and grasping my hand, pulling me over to the bed where I am seated. 

No sooner do I sit does Megumi take the towel hanging from my neck, and drapes it over my head.

"Um... Megumi?" 
"You'll catch a cold like that." she says, gently drying off my locks. 

...

"...it would be nice" I started. 
"Hm? What would?" asked Megumi. 

After taking a deep breath,

"It would be nice if we could stay like this. Just the three of us, me, you and mom. I'm happy. The way things are, I am happy. Living here, together with you, I am ha-" before I could finish, Megumi reached her arms around and embraced me, resting her head against my shoulder. 
"...yeah, it would be nice." said Megumi in a faint voice. 
"...could we stay like this, a little longer?" I asked, pleadingly. 
"...yeah, I would like that." said Megumi.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume3 001

2012-08-29T20:00:19Z

Ryuno: Created page with "Greetings, my pupil. The one writing this is your beloved teacher who goes by the name Honne Reikoku during my stay in this country, although if changing it was possible I wo..."

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume3 Prologue

2012-08-29T19:57:28Z

Ryuno: Created page with "When I was ten years old I fell in love for the first time, and soon after that I murdered someone for the first time too. Those two occurrences took place near each other in..."

When I was ten years old I fell in love for the first time, and soon after that I murdered someone for the first time too.

Those two occurrences took place near each other in the subjects of both temporal sense and physical distance. Another similarity between them is that the individuals involved in my actions belonged to the same family: even though the actions seem to be direct opposites, it doesn’t change the fact I hurt both at the end.

Mirrored moments.

Often for dramatic effect, those situations are put on the same scenario in books and movies: where the little sister gets kissed, the older brother gets killed. Although close in one aspect in my case, it didn’t happen exactly like that: the fields were several blocks apart. The irony lies in the simple fact that if they were, it wouldn’t make those days even slightly more or less tragic. It would just have been a better story.

But even bad tales have some value.

From the literary standpoint, one can learn what not to do when writing a story although what matters is the execution: there are no boundaries for concepts, and not one of them can be called objectively ‘bad’, only ‘poorly developed’. What I meant by that is, despite whatever people might say your intentions are not half as important as what you do most of the time, if they are at all: you cannot be fairly judged because of them. Saving a human, your country or even the world doesn’t take a pure heart and is bound to generate the most horrible sort of backlash as the only reward you get for your good deeds.

I, personally, learned the same but for ‘life’ rather than ‘writing’; in this world, there are fights in which your only option is to lose.

A little backstory: even when I was a kid Mystery and I would always meet. Before I was taken in by my parents and their bizarre family thus becoming Koukishin Shinzou, too: in fact, it would be extremely hard for me to just point a moment when I wasn’t involved with unusual things for I can’t remember a single one off the top of my head. It’s actually very funny when it happens to someone else: couple elopes to get away from the supernatural only to adopt a kid who is a magnet to it.

Mother, the serious one who was taken away from the Koukishin household and knew how weird the world could be from personal experience, decided it would be better to run and hide and it made me really happy to know she wouldn’t just leave me behind like others did before her. Father, the smiling one who took her away and unlike me was really just a normal person who got caught up in this whole nonsense, thought my ‘gift’, which was not a supernatural ability in any way, was meant to be used to save people. Even now I am sure he’d tell me I was a hero of justice or something.

Back then I believed him and his view of the world, and that ultimately led to this tragedy that might always haunt me. It’s up to your personal judgment to say whether he was right for wanting me to use my abilities to the fullest and help others or as wrong as one could be for not considering how much damage this could give to a child or projecting his on expectations and dreams basically living vicariously through me, but to me it was not about ‘what’; the concept was understandable as I did have it in me, the natural skill to fight back even without the need of having any special powers. It was ‘how’.

His idea of saving the world was to travel all around it solving mysteries or doing good deeds and similar, making our lives seem like an 80’s adventure television show with episodic structure. It was not that much of a change from their usual schedule, being on the run from the Koukishin family like it was the top criminal organization in the universe or something like that. Whether it was close to the truth or not is up to debate.

Anyway, regarding the Lang family as we met them: the father, Lang Hoi, was a noveau-riche engineer with aspirations of becoming a businessman; Lang Mui, the mother, was the daughter of a formerly great rice farm owners’ family who descended into oblivion due to bad administration; the elder son, Lang Yuen, was seventeen and above average when it came to studies; and then there was Lang Shou, their pride and joy.

This is the family I wrecked.

For years I have been torturing myself over this and it will never end until all is said and done, until I, the selfish lying bastard, get closure. The reason why I need to talk to her, to see if she can forgive even though I know she’ll never forget, is quite simple: I need to move on.

Every single time I look at Shiina Ryo I think of that.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-08-29T19:54:48Z

Ryuno: Adding new content! Special thanks to Cyul and Gilles!

[[Image: Ryodraft.jpg‎ |thumb|Shiina Ryo, draft by kyuu]]
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is a light novel series written by [http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com/ Ryuno].

==Story Synopsis==
A teenager who has always found himself involved in mysteries and unusual situations decides to move to the town where his only friend (a girl he met online) lives and starts living by himself. At first he is unsure whether it’s going to be a place where he can finally lead the normal life he always dreamed of or if it’s going to be just another place he’ll eventually run away from. The town turns out to be everything the doctor prescribed and he starts falling in love with his friend, making new (and unique) friends and getting the support he has craved for so long. What could go wrong?

Just what he feared the most.

== Editing ==
The Longing Of Shiina Ryo is an Original English Language light novel written by an author whose mother language is not English, therefore mistakes can (and most likely will) occur. Correction of grammatical errors is welcomed and encouraged as long as the editor also posts an explanation of what was corrected in the talk page, in order to help the author to avoid future mistakes.

== Updates ==
*Novel 2 chapter releases are scheduled to be weekly.

==''The Longing Of Shiina Ryo '' by Ryuno==

===Volume 1 - first week case [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1|(Full Text)]] [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/The%20Longing%20Of%20Shiina%20Ryo.pdf PDF]===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 1: Ryo|Chapter 1: Ryo]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 2: Reikoku|Chapter 2: Reikoku]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 3: Kouma|Chapter 3: Kouma]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Chapter 4: Ayaka|Chapter 4: Ayaka]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 1.5 - Extra story===
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume1 metamonogatari|metamonogatari]]

===Volume 2 - d.m.c. [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2|(Full Text)]] ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Prologue|Prologue]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi|Chapter 1: Megumi]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane|Chapter 2: Akane]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin|Chapter 3: Rin]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Afterword|Afterword]]

===Volume 3 - time to heal ===

*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 Prologue|Prologue]]
*'''Chapter 1: Purpose: The Flawless Execution of Kouma Yon and A Certain Teacher’s Mr. Heaven'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume3 001|001]]

===Bonus Disc===
*'''Red Orchestra, by Cyul and Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Red Orchestra Tuning - Colision Course|Tuning - Colision Course]]
*'''Hawk eye and Rainbow Girl, by Gilles'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl|Hawk Eye and Rainbow Girl]]
*'''Valentine Hunter Kizuna Jun, by Ryuno'''
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc Prologue|Prologue]]
::*[[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Bonus Disc 1st date: Shiina Ryo|1st date: Shiina Ryo]]
==Project Staff==

*Project Administrator: [[user:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
*Project Editor: Zehava
[[Category:Hosted Projects]]
[[Category:Original]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2

2012-06-03T01:36:22Z

Ryuno: Looks really messy, I have no idea why since the syntax is the exact same as the one in the Volume 1 page. Does anyone know?

===Prologue===
{{:The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Prologue}}
 
===Chapter 1: Megumi===
{{:The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi}}
 
===Chapter 2: Akane===
{{:The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane}}
 
===Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment===
{{:The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment}}
 
===Chapter 3: Rin===
{{:The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin}}
 
===Chapter 4: Ryo II===
{{:The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II}}
 
===Afterword===
{{:The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Afterword}}

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-06-03T01:24:22Z

Ryuno: Completely forgot to do this.

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin

2012-05-08T22:44:01Z

Ryuno: answering answers

questionable lines. i didn't change them for now.

'''EP'''

(maybe you could add a footnote as to what this stands for?)

'''The files got really heavy on the CPU and to export them the first time for the EP was hell,'''

(export them for the EP. are u sure this is right? not to or from?)

'''maybe we couldn’t post stems of it so it could ever be reworked it in the future'''

(ever --> never ???)

'''loop pedal'''

(maybe loop station? this guy has a loop station[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEeCL0VUCF0]]BTW he's awesome.)

'''“This band will be over as of the end of ''Ars Finita''.”'''

(i didn't get this at all. what is ars finita?)

'''“Surely you heard correctly, Shin-tsu.” She spoke in monotone.'''

(is the second sentence just a general statement or smth like "she said monotonously"?)

'''We all took music and ourselves too seriously to let it slide to the status of a hobby but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, which would be already hard considering the kind of music we played.'''

(but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, --> but had so much going on in our personal lives that we couldn't make a career out of it. ''Is this what you meant?'')

'''How can I let the only thing I truly believed wouldn’t end on me simply vanish like this?”'''

(is "on me" really necessary?)

'''Then I met Shiina Ryo and a big, loud argument began as a prelude to the wicked happenings that were to come.'''

(as an option - that were yet/about to come)

'''An outside as empty as one could be inside.'''

(what does this mean? could you rephrase it pls?)

'''I’m much weaker and I was found wanting to begin with.'''

(wanting what?)

'''Why on Earth would you people consider wasting it or being okay with passing through those few years ling like a dog, I have no idea.'''

(what in the world is ling?)

'''Shugoshin bit his inferior lip,'''

(what is an inferior lip? maybe lower lip?)

'''I had become, for all effects of the term, a cheating backstabber.'''

(in all senses of the word.'' sounds better imho...'')

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 15:34, 8 May 2012 (CDT)

1) Except from the second chapter:
“An EP?”
“Surely you know what the acronym stands for.”
“Extended Play, a recording too long to qualify as a single but too short to be a full length album. (...)”

2)For is correct because it is the mini-album is the "destination", not from.

3) The meaning of the sentence is that they could not provide the parts of it necessary for future editing, so I think "ever" still applies since it's being used to explain what would be done, not establish a condition as "never" would in this situation.
*then, no, you can't use it like that. if u deleted "ever" it would be perfect and meaning would not be lost.
*not really, "could ever" is a valid expression to indicate something that did not necessarily happen but is or was possible so it applies.

4) Both could mean the same, but a loop station does not need to be a pedal (could take different forms) while a loop pedal is always a loop station so the change would only make it less specific unless it was "Loop Station Pedal", which sounds nearly redundant.

5) The name of one of their songs.
* it should be more clear, imho...
* Thus the italics.

6) General statement. Sorta.

7) Yes.

8) It's necessary because he's clearly using "end" as an euphemism for "die".

9) "That were to come" is epic, old school Bible-core usage.

10) The world surrounding him was pure white but had nothing in it, it felt as empty as someone feeling empty would feel themselves to be.
*then "an outside" is a bit awkward...or really awkward for some.
*No, because there reader should know by is more than one "outside": the one he is referring to the "outside" that is the white world as opposed to the "outside" that is the real world or the "inside" that is someone's own inner self.

11) Again, biblical usage: "found wanting" is a reference to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_writing_on_the_wall Mene, Mene, Tekel u-Pharsin], that means "insufficient" or "guilty", so yes, I aimed for the pun.

12) "Living". My bad.

13) Forgot this one when I first replied: several medical sites list "inferior lip" as a valid form of referring to the same thing as "lower lip".
*well, i think you should consider who your readers are, lol)). i'd change it to "lower"...
*I shoved psychology, literature, metaphysics and even music industry terms down their throats without complaints, I'd be thoroughly surprised if a medical one would be the one to give me trouble.

14) It does sound better.

Will be editing the ones that require it. Once again, thank you. --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin

2012-05-08T22:06:14Z

Ryuno:

questionable lines. i didn't change them for now.

'''EP'''

(maybe you could add a footnote as to what this stands for?)

'''The files got really heavy on the CPU and to export them the first time for the EP was hell,'''

(export them for the EP. are u sure this is right? not to or from?)

'''maybe we couldn’t post stems of it so it could ever be reworked it in the future'''

(ever --> never ???)

'''loop pedal'''

(maybe loop station? this guy has a loop station[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEeCL0VUCF0]]BTW he's awesome.)

'''“This band will be over as of the end of ''Ars Finita''.”'''

(i didn't get this at all. what is ars finita?)

'''“Surely you heard correctly, Shin-tsu.” She spoke in monotone.'''

(is the second sentence just a general statement or smth like "she said monotonously"?)

'''We all took music and ourselves too seriously to let it slide to the status of a hobby but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, which would be already hard considering the kind of music we played.'''

(but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, --> but had so much going on in our personal lives that we couldn't make a career out of it. ''Is this what you meant?'')

'''How can I let the only thing I truly believed wouldn’t end on me simply vanish like this?”'''

(is "on me" really necessary?)

'''Then I met Shiina Ryo and a big, loud argument began as a prelude to the wicked happenings that were to come.'''

(as an option - that were yet/about to come)

'''An outside as empty as one could be inside.'''

(what does this mean? could you rephrase it pls?)

'''I’m much weaker and I was found wanting to begin with.'''

(wanting what?)

'''Why on Earth would you people consider wasting it or being okay with passing through those few years ling like a dog, I have no idea.'''

(what in the world is ling?)

'''Shugoshin bit his inferior lip,'''

(what is an inferior lip? maybe lower lip?)

'''I had become, for all effects of the term, a cheating backstabber.'''

(in all senses of the word.'' sounds better imho...'')

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 15:34, 8 May 2012 (CDT)

1) Except from the second chapter:
“An EP?”
“Surely you know what the acronym stands for.”
“Extended Play, a recording too long to qualify as a single but too short to be a full length album. (...)”

2)For is correct because it is the mini-album is the "destination", not from.

3) The meaning of the sentence is that they could not provide the parts of it necessary for future editing, so I think "ever" still applies since it's being used to explain what would be done, not establish a condition as "never" would in this situation.

4) Both could mean the same, but a loop station does not need to be a pedal (could take different forms) while a loop pedal is always a loop station so the change would only make it less specific unless it was "Loop Station Pedal", which sounds nearly redundant.

5) The name of one of their songs.

6) General statement. Sorta.

7) Yes.

8) It's necessary because he's clearly using "end" as an euphemism for "die".

9) "That were to come" is epic, old school Bible-core usage.

10) The world surrounding him was pure white but had nothing in it, it felt as empty as someone feeling empty would feel themselves to be.

11) Again, biblical usage: "found wanting" is a reference to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_writing_on_the_wall Mene, Mene, Tekel u-Pharsin], that means "insufficient" or "guilty", so yes, I aimed for the pun.

12) "Living". My bad.

13) Forgot this one when I first replied: several medical sites list "inferior lip" as a valid form of referring to the same thing as "lower lip".

14) It does sound better.

Will be editing the ones that require it. Once again, thank you. --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin

2012-05-08T21:59:13Z

Ryuno: Edition based on Idiffer's notes. Didn't think "word" would work for that last line, though; it's a composite "expression" after all.

== Part 1 ==

After a month and a dark and really stormy night came the Festival, along with anxiety and stress. Specifically because of the ‘stormy’ part. 

We needed our synthesizer backing tracks because, well, not one of us could play keys and especially not while playing any of our primary instruments. Still, the programmed lines added a lot to the intricate quality of the music and it would be very detrimental for us if we had to perform live without them, especially because that’s how the songs were recorded on our EP which would be launched after the show but was already in our respective playlists for the past two weeks. 

The files got really heavy on the CPU and to export them the first time for the EP was hell, but having to do it again just for the synthesized tracks would not be much better. The reason for everything was because we, instead of doing it track by track, decided to arrange it in the way we would perform it in the set, one after the other. Therefore we assumed it would be okay to leave the computer on for the 12 estimated hours exporting the file. 

It wasn’t. 

The storm was strong enough to bring three fast intercalated blackouts. We were all at our homes when it happened which resulted in a lot of texting going on, but we all hoped that despite the obvious reset and having to restart the process all over again in the morning, the medium-priced No-break would take most of the damage and leave the computer with the project files unharmed. 

It didn’t. 

Now Megumi was gone, as she stormed out the door saying ‘I have a plan’, Akane was sulking, Rin was angry at the school, at the electric company, and the heavens. I did my best to keep them together and functioning, and to some extent, succeeded. Most of our EP work was dead for good but we still had the mixed and mastered files on our mobile phones, personal computers and music players and also on the server of the Finnish audio engineer we hired; maybe we couldn’t post stems of it so it could ever be reworked it in the future and the live performance would sound really empty compared to the recording but it wasn’t the end of the world. 

It was actually a good story for the future. 

Megumi came back one and a half hours later with a loop pedal so we could record sections of audio and play the loops just by stomping on it, which would help us give the songs more body because we could just record the parts that previously belonged to synthesizers with the guitars, regaining some of the ambience we achieved on the EP. The rainbow girl said she borrowed it from a friend, but I managed to see the pawn shop ticket before she could hide it and I knew very well she had only one personal possession she could trade for this. 

Her acoustic guitar. 

I called Rin for a private talk so I could provide her that information and she agreed to get Megumi’s guitar back immediately, even though that would involve telling her father about the whole band thing. We came back to the room and started working on rearranging and tracking the loops for the best performance we could bring with those limited resources and were surprised by how, with some effects, it sounded much less cluttered and alive this way. 

And then, when we were done celebrating, Rin proclaimed something that made me snap. 

“I want you all to give your very best tonight. It shall be Saris’ first and last performance, after all.” 

The shock made me sure my hearing comprehension had failed for a moment. 

“Wait, what?” 
“Surely you heard correctly, Shin-tsu.” She spoke in monotone. “This band will be over as of the end of ''Ars Finita''.” 

The other members made no objections and it only made me angrier. It was obvious: they all knew this was coming. 

“…Why are you doing this?” Frustration building up. “I thought you guys enjoyed this as much as I do!” 
“We do,” said Akane in a surprisingly audible voice. 

Megumi faced the ground and started talking. 

“These have been the happiest days of our lives too, Shin-tsu.” 
“Then why?” 
“Because these days will not last.” 

Fury took over me when I heard Rin utter that. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 
“I am graduating soon and you cannot possibly expect me to live this rebellious ephemeral dream for much longer, especially as an adult. My family and its company will need me someday soon and playing technical music will not get me ready for this responsibility, so there’s a huge chance I will soon move to study abroad. I am terribly sorry if I led you all on, but then again I was fooling myself too.” She took a melancholic pause. “And even if you keep this without me, it’s only a matter of time before something similar happens, albeit different in scale, to Akane and Megumi, who are older than you and going to graduate next year.” 
“But that doesn’t mean everything should just end! You guys are overreacting!” 
“Yes, but what would come next, then? Playing occasional gigs in bars while settling for part-time jobs you believe are ‘temporary’, becoming the casuals you all deep down loathe so much until you do not have time or interest to rehearse or talk to each other anymore? Perhaps trying to be a full-time band but failing miserably for years because your style of music simply does not sell, and then realizing you wasted years that could have been used for self-improvement and studies in order to have an actual career like everyone we went to high school with and their little brothers? Or selling out and hating yourselves every single day for not being able to succeed by playing fair and doing everything you are able to? Even the best case scenario for us is to somehow go major with our own music style but eventually degenerating into predictable, uninteresting trash as time goes by.” 
“And your alternative is to kill the unborn, to give up while we’re ahead? That’s the cowardly way out!” 

One bar pause. 

“The soldiers who die at war are seen as brave by some, but in my opinion they were just as scared as the others who managed to come back. There is no glory in failure.” Rin was once again sharply calm, the most infuriating sight possible for me at that moment. “My alternative is to let this be what it really is: a rebellious ephemeral dream that will end up exactly as good as it started specifically because it ended shortly after it started, without having the time to become a flawed execution of the initial concept. Something we can be proud of and share the longing of it till the day we die: a band made of never-ending nostalgia for us to dream about.” 

That was the last straw for me but when I looked around and saw my other two band mates who were showing no signs of resistance as I did to Rin’s ideas and views on morals, I felt like I was the only one trying to save a sinking boat. Unfortunately, no matter what I said, I could not fully disagree with them. We all took music and ourselves too seriously to let it slide to the status of a hobby but had but had so much going on in our personal lives that we couldn't make a career out of it, which would be already hard considering the kind of music we played. 

“So, is this it? You’re all quitting on us? This was supposed to be influential and huge! Are you telling me we wasted time and effort on this just so we could self-produce an EP and make a single live performance? Have you all gone insane?” 

They all looked disappointed, but I couldn’t tell if they felt this way about me or themselves. This kind of drama was less the end of a band and more akin to a bad breakup. 

“That is a conceptual mistake: it is never ‘time wasted’ if you enjoy wasting it, Shin-tsu. I too fell in love with this project but I cannot afford to remain like that any longer if that is going to be in my way, and ultimately neither can you. This would only hinder us: no matter how much potential they have, high school bands never last long.” She looked into my eyes and for one moment I assumed Rin would break down too. “One can see this is not only about the band for you, but either way at some point in life you will have to learn to let things go.” 

My mask and inner layers were directly hit and broken at that point. Was this what it was all about, letting things go? Why was it easy to everyone but me to just accept it as a memory, to sacrifice important things for something that wouldn’t last? Were they all idiots? 

“…But how can I?” No longer in control of myself and without the strength to lie, all that was left for me was to join them as a spectator of my own monologue and be mortified by the truth that came out of my mouth, a truth I never wanted to admit. Regardless of my past experiences I still became attached to this, too much in fact. It was good, to finally feel like I was part of a group. “I thought I was too numb, too devoid of emotions to really care about anything. I’ve been losing since I can remember so I should be used to it by now, right? But it just keeps happening to me over and over again and it never gets any easier than this. How can I let the only thing I truly believed wouldn’t end on me simply vanish like this?” 

Not my friends. Not my family. Not Ryo. 

People have forsaken me so many times I cannot help but expect a relationship will end before it even starts, regardless of its intensity. Is it because of that? Is that the reason why the one thing I felt so honestly attached to is not a person but an abstract, juvenile concept such as a ‘band’? Is having nothing I can truly call ‘mine’ the reason why I cannot afford to lose anything? 

…Just how broken am I? 

As I pondered, warmness surrounded me all of a sudden and I didn’t need to open my eyes to confirm I was in the center of a group hug. 

“By keeping the bittersweet aftertaste on your mouth as a memento, obviously.” 

Knowing that I wasn’t the only one needing that, I decided to let the whole thing happen a little longer before making any significant movement. 

“…Let’s do this,” I said when the time was right. 

Everything from that point on was on blurry flash-forward and the only moment I do recall was furiously growling the title of the first song in the set sharing a microphone with Koukina Rin. 

“WE ARE THE BLEEDING DARK!” 

== Part 2 ==

We got off the stage less than an hour later and moved our bodies slowly to the backstage, without saying a word before the door was closed and locked. Our band leader then broke the silence with remarkable lack of composure. 

“Well, that sucked.” 

In face of such a statement we could do nothing but follow her in the routine. 

“I made so many mistakes I could as well have played other songs.” 
“My blast beat was alright but coming back to the groove parts was harder than it should be.”
“The crowd was almost ''blasé'' and we probably left a bigger impression by having the School Council president in our band than because of our music. They didn’t even ask for an encore, the uncultured swine.” 

A brief moment of silence was followed by spontaneous yet somehow perfectly synchronized laughter.

“I’m going to miss this so much.” 
“You definitely are not the only one.” 
“Me too.” 

When it was her turn, Akane just nodded and I could tell it was not because of shyness.

We left the improvised backstage behind and as Megumi left to get food while Akane followed like the world’s happiest shadow, Rin and I met her father, who was clearly waiting for us to come out. I was ready for stern words and conflict, but it ended up being very… different.

“Certainly, I do not want you to run my company, Rin.” 
“Father, I…” 

He raised his huge hand and for one moment I assumed I would be a witness of familiar violence, but instead he patted his daughter on the head and made the School Council president look fragile and young like I have never seen her look.

“My greatest wish is to see you doing what you love and do best, be it music or ruling the world as a dictator. You are my only daughter and I could never force my own views of the world on you, let alone make you walk a path I chose. After all you are your own person and should not compromise your dreams because of anyone else.” His extremely deep voice was softer now and the soothing way in which he spoke made me feel jealous of Rin. “And I know the company I built is not what you want for yourself; that is a good thing indeed, because it is mine and I have no intention of leaving it for a long time and am willing to fight over it against any person on Earth. It seems you’re going to have to find your own business, lady. Just let me know next time, you got it? I will support you if you allow me to.” 
“Daddy…” 
“It has been a while since you called me that…” 

Leaving that somewhat mushy father-and-daughter scene a tad too late for avoiding the puke in my mouth but still as smoothly as I could at the time, my feet guided me to the improvised backstage once more. If the man was going to reveal some detail that resembled the plot of a certain visual novel such as being the original owner of her guitar or something, I didn’t want to be there when it happened. We have enough problems as it is without facing plagiarism charges, so I walked away.

Then I met Shiina Ryo and a big, loud argument began as a prelude to the wicked happenings that were to come.

== Part 3 ==

It all started when I kissed Ryo.

This might sound a tad too personal to you, but have you ever experienced the feeling of being so connected to someone in a perfect moment you no longer know when you end and that person begins? Like there’s an electric current passing through the being once known as two individuals directly, like the point where you merge with that person is a rectifier; both are one and this one is pure energy, thoughts meaning less than the constant flow of action shared. A matter of skin, timing and chemistry where absolutely nothing else matters, be it summer rain striking two lovers or the end of the world that surrounds them.

Well, it was nothing like that. Not at all. Nope.

Instead, I felt a similar thing to when Ayaka’s Shugoshin trapped me with the white card trick. It’s no wonder I was confused at first but it became absurdly obvious when I faced the monster in the warehouse: what happened to me in class definitely wasn’t just a panic attack.

One moment I was arguing pretty bad with her over God-knows-what and the other the school was gone. Everything around me shifted into a world of white, with no beginning or end; not the kind of blinding light you’re supposed to see at the end of the tunnel, but the misty one you’d get at walls that have been painted for more than mere months, on clouds in grey days, on office paper considerably cheaper than regular.

Definitely not what you expect even from a bad kiss.

To be alone in such a scenario made me feel like it was a dream; ‘surreal’ doesn’t begin to describe how it struck me. It was too distressing for my brain to compute at once, a dull uneasiness going through every muscle as recognition came little by little.

An outside as empty as one could be inside.

The solitude didn’t last long, for the shot of pain that exploded and sent me flying away was more than enough to let me know I was not, as a matter of fact, alone there.

“I hate you.” 

A long-haired, black and white version of Ryo that seemed to be made of paper and ink stood before me with devilish eyes set to kill and her parasol held as a sword. Didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.

“…Shugoshin.” 
“...” 

So they got her too, maybe that’s why my memories of that are so blurry.

Kouma’s words resonated in my mind: ‘What if you can’t save her?’, indeed. Even though I played the part on occasion, I was not a hero. I was not a good guy and had one of the worst personalities of all the people I have ever seen. I was useless and prone to use others, a good-for-nothing smug-faced bastard. I wouldn’t trust me to be able to save anyone’s skin but my own.
I extended my retractable umbrella to its maximum.

“Knight mode.” 

Obviously, if I couldn’t save Ryo I’d just fight her. If I went this far to protect her, there was no way I could just pretend it wasn’t my problem even if that option was presented to me. If I can’t try when I can lose I am not worthy of winning.

So commence the last dance - I’m more than ready.

Then 'it' proved me wrong.

I shall refer to the monster as ‘it’ for I cannot see it as the same as Ryo and I. It charged with unparalleled speed and I only had the time to open my eyes wide before the series of attacks began and the makeshift sword I held was destroyed with the first one. That’s when I knew my training was completely in vain.

I considered something after I watched the battle between Reikoku-sensei and that man, and this proved it: there was a varying level of strength among them especially depending on the kinds of attacks. Expecting to be able to spar or swordfight with every single one of them regardless of training was absolutely unrealistic. My speed that once looked absolute was now worthless: it hit me again and again from everywhere at all times because it moved in all directions where there was space to move, while I was bound by logic and gravity. I could feel the bruises being born near fresh lacerations and I knew the only reason why I wasn’t dead yet was because it was having the time of its life torturing me.

There were no limitations for the creature in this realm.

Absolute defeat crippled me more than it did, for I stopped trying to fight back or defend myself. Unsurprisingly it got bored and decided to finish the job after teasing a little more to see if the prey would get up one more time.

I didn’t, so it prepared the final hit.

If you don’t come back, this is how it ends. Will you? 

''…Never tell me to shut up or go away again.'' 

I know your true name now. 

''Yes, you do.'' 

Am I strong enough to defeat that Shugoshin? 

''This should be obvious by now: no, you are not.'' 

Are you strong enough to defeat it on your own? 

''No, I am not.'' 

…Then I suppose it's about time for me to stop fighting you. 

''You must accept the absolute truth.'' 

I accept it; I probably always have, deep down. There is no hope, the suffering and despair will never end, and it might be the worst day ever: I know I cannot afford to keep denying those statements that are all the utmost truth any longer, but it is necessary to add they are also not for me. This is going to be someone else's truth, and together we sure are going to make him understand it well. 

''Because we are one.'' 

Because we are none. 

''Because if light itself is corrupted then it's time for the dark to ‘shine’.'' 

Because eventually, every single thing will fade to us. 

''And for that hideous flawed glow, the time is now.'' 

I know that much; just make sure you meet my expectations because this is going to take all of my willpower. 

''Call me.'' 

"Come forth!" I opened my eyes as pitch black flames or rather the absence of flames enveloped my body. "THE DARKEST!" 

It took a little distance because of the surprise element, but I knew it would take more than a last minute unexplained power-up to fight that monster, especially considering how bad I still was. The thing is, the reason why I had that voice that knew facts that I didn’t (and could not know, such as the ovation I received in Le Ciel Bleu being a standing one or the moment Reikoku-sensei would reach my house) and was ignorant to things I did, other than the physics-ignoring abilities and fast healing, was obvious in the setting.

I too was the host to a Shugoshin. 

Getting up was hard because I had both a ruined body and information overload to deal with. All of a sudden, I knew about how my power was a ramification of the reality-warping abilities I showcased before by which I limited the broadness of possibilities to increase the actual energy of the power. My wounds started healing instantly but I realized the absence-of-flames grew dimmer.

It was really easy to get spent and I was in the middle of something so it was a matter of life and death to use this power the best I could. But how? Rather than energy, it was anti-energy. Absorbing others? Super punches? Trying to blast it off your fingers? I didn’t feel heat from it like most main characters do, but it wasn’t ice either.

It was ‘nothing’, and just that.

As I wondered, ‘how do you fight with nothing?’, the Shugoshin similar to Ryo already had the answer figured out: with ease.

First it came swinging the parasol against my face which I stopped by concentrating a good share of the absence-of-flames on my right hand, turning it into a claw and counter-attacking with enough strength to break it. Which only lead to me taking a kick in the knee, an elbow strike to the chest and getting one more attack that was similar to the position of holding a sledgehammer to my spine, at the end.

I fell to my knees, rolled over and concentrated on using the power as an energy blast with my left palm pointed at the creature. It landed but did no more than a small injury to the right thigh, which was no surprise whatsoever: while I’m no Physics expert, I don’t think energy just flies around in air without losing potency during the path. The payoff at long distance wasn’t worth it and at short distance it was probably irrelevant. I just had to try because I was running out of ideas and time.

A kick to the temple and I went down one more time, only to be kicked over and over again.

“GET UP! GO ON, GET UP! AREN’T YOU A WARRIOR? GET UP!” 

I probably hurt its feelings by attacking it directly.

''Serves you right for playing its game straight, you are no fighter or hero.'' 

Oi, for someone with such a flashy name and an intro boast like that your power is really, really underwhelming when compared to others’. 

''I never claimed to be the strongest and a name is just a name.'' 

Still, it wouldn’t hurt if you were a little stronger. 

''One could say water is not ‘strong’ when it stands still, but few dare defying the fury of the oceans when there is a storm happening.''

Except this thing here is closer to a cup of water than an ocean if we’re talking about proportions.

''Make your enemy choke on it then; it is still a matter of approach.''

Right. This doesn’t change the fact I’ll probably die this time, though.

''Change your approach.''

But… I gave my best shot. I gave it all.

''Shut up, you piece of trash human: how dare you say that was all you could do?''

It was.

''Can you think?''

…What?

''Can you feel sorry for yourself? Can you think about how weak and hopeless you are in comparison to the universe around you? Can you wish for things to be different? Can you move? Can you breathe? ''

Yes.

''Then you still have energy left: you did not give it all. ''

But I’m tired, and if I couldn’t beat it before how could I have a shot now? I’m much weaker and I was found wanting to begin with. What do you want me to do? To rise as a nail and stick out only to get hammered down more?

''A few months in Japan and you already became a conformist? You ran for years just so you could have this heaven and now you’re giving up on it because you couldn’t take an enemy down as easily as you imagined? Will you stain your hands with the blood of innocents once again? Is it okay just because you won’t live long enough to cope with the trauma this time?''

You don’t understand! No matter how many of them I defeat, how many cases I solve or how many people I save, it’s all the same: more and more trouble will come my way until I can no longer handle it.

''No, you don’t understand: you don’t stop punching because the enemy doesn’t fall, but the opposite. If the target does not go down, it’s one more reason to keep on punching: you punch and punch until it does. The punches will not affect only your enemy, but you too: your bones will break and your flesh will bleed easily and in the same way they will recover, but not to the same state. Your bones will grow thicker, your muscles will develop, and your mind too will become stronger but there’s one thing you need to do to start that process.''

To resist?

''To fight back: one can manage to resist passively, but you can’t fight back that way. Either you fight back with aggression as your intent and means or you don’t.''

But I might die. Everyone might die because of my mistakes and weakness. Someone already did, for heaven’s sake.

''So? The thing is, all of you will eventually die either way: you are fated to that the moment you are born, period. What you are doing so far is giving up, it’s the cowardly way out.''

If in the end it’s all the same, why should I bother?

''Yes, you are going to die, and dying is forever; thinking about it right now is just suffering by anticipation. But life is limited, a single shot you get at doing what you want and ascending to a higher level regardless of whether you start as the richest woman ever or a poor excuse for a man. Why on Earth would you people consider wasting it or being okay with passing through those few years living like a dog, I have no idea.''

This speech is very nice and everything, but that doesn’t change the fact I don’t have the strength to win a proper fight against that creature. I just can’t do it.

''Then don’t.''

…But you just said…

''Don’t have a proper fight, if you can’t win one. Humanity sure is slow to learn, but you’re something else. You don’t fight storms; you find a way to predict them and to some extent, control them. You don’t swim against the ocean; you create vehicles that allow you to navigate through it, devices to warn you when you should defend your people from it and dams to tame its tremendous strength, getting hydroelectric power on top of that. Don’t just stop punching, you idiot: punch differently!''

…One more time. I know what you mean now. Lend me your strength one more time, I know what to do.

''You’d better. And I won’t lend it to you. I am the strength, and I am yours.''

I felt the power rush through me and it wasn’t like I was possessed as in Ayaka’s case; rather I was feeling whole at last.

“As I decay, something new is born.”

Without hesitation, without thinking at all, I advanced. I stepped in walls that weren’t there and moved freely like it was a world made of floors. Walking, increasing my pace and then galloping at lightning speed on thin air. Directions were tolerated no longer, for I could push my legs forward and move backwards or sideways if I wanted to at that point. That sub-universe was nothing but vectors and fractals and it was my domain.

In rare form, unchained like the drift, all was allowed to me.

The speed and overall mobility of the monster were finally matched if not surpassed and it showed whenever we’d meet and spar midair rather than just clash inside those seemingly endless boundaries. Every hit I delivered generated a noise that struck me as the characteristic one of glass breaking while every attack the creature landed was accompanied by a sub-frequency bass wave that resonated in my chest. That improvised percussive symphony was insane, and that was the biggest understatement I had ever listened to.

Maybe that fight could not go on forever because of my stamina, but it surely was going everywhere.

As I maintained focus and sped up my pace I realized why the monster did not seem as undefeatable at that point and got slightly mad at myself for not considering the possibility first: a creature moving that fast and freely could not and would not rely on vision. Vision is useless if you have to change angles and point of view every second.

So 'it', or most likely all of the Shugoshin, used heat, which my power canceled. Not a particularly heroic natural defense, but perfect for someone like me. If it concealed me enough to force these monsters to use more natural means to search for me limiting their abilities that much, it was better than I could ever hope for and gave me a lot of insight on how I should fight.

A clash and a retreat on both sides.

“Y-your plan is to defeat me, the entity who created this glorious realm, with mere brute force? Nonsense! You don’t stand a chance!” 
“Just my kind of battle then!” Quickly I jumped, advancing both forward and to a higher infinity at high speed and pulled my right arm enveloped by the pitch-black absence-of-flames back midair to gather some strength. All that goes up has to go down and I could tell even inside that sub-dimension that law was truth; that was an important part of my potentially suicidal plan. “Clench those teeth, Ryo!” 

I came down from the illusory space falling like a comet or an angel, but all the resistance I found only made me want more and more to emerge victorious from the confrontation. The Shugoshin bit his inferior lip, strong and fast enough for a small spray of blood to fly and taint the imitation of air. Indecision no longer was present in his face and in its place a burning lust for battle spawned. It seemed genuinely happy and for some reason I could relate to that feeling.

Perhaps because I am human and that is what really drives us.

“Come!” 
"U''OR''YA''AA''AA''AAA''AAAA''AAA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''A''A''A''!!!!!"

What my inhuman enemy didn’t see coming until the last second, however, was the bait and switch.

We, humans, are tricky creatures by nature, living beings that use ruses and tools to achieve what we can’t do on our own and while that kind of intelligence might not be all there is to us when it comes to separating us from other species, it certainly is what brought us safely to the state where we find ourselves currently: our world is a massive deathtrap composed of a million smaller ones just waiting to be triggered by nature, and we certainly built a few deathtraps ourselves much to our children’s dismay, but so far we survived all those ordeals. The planet seems to hate us and that doesn’t mean that we should stop evolving.

Or, even if we should give up, that we will.

A direct, fair blow would be a stupid strategy and too much of a risky gamble. While I can see why it would appeal to some people, that’s not how I fight unless it’s the last option left. To appeal to the enemy’s battle lust, however, is a good way to make sure you can predict its behavior. It helped that the creature shared a mind with an idealistic writer; I’ll have to grant you that: a duel like that was most likely what the Shugoshin wished for the most. The button was just there waiting to be pressed.

So I triggered it, I played along and delivered to my public. It wanted the promise of a fair battle with high stakes, ‘manly speeches’ and boasting. The clashing of final attacks was an absolutely necessary scene in order to complete the story for someone with that kind of mindset. Fantasy craves and screams for scenes like that, which is exactly why I was sure to feed that illusion until the punch landed and my arm was completely shattered.

If I didn’t know what would come next I would have allowed my body to give in and pass out because of the unbearable pain. But I did for a fact know, and the knockout mechanism would not get the best of me.

For one split second I saw the creature grin with absurd pleasure only to realize it was too easy and move its head to face my flying left arm that went against it like a guided missile engulfed by the black non-flames. It finally realized I had transferred the power to my other arm which held Ayaka’s pantographic knife and sacrificed the right one to create a ruse.

I needed the time to draw and unfold it and the monster just gave it to me.

I was no fighter, indeed; if I ever learned how to fight it would be so that I didn’t have to. To embrace what I was good at instead of accepting a role others forced upon me, of being someone else’s hero or knight in shining armor because the plot demanded so was ridiculous. Who I was, what I was, that constant would never change and always take me back: as back when I was a kid, I was the destroyer of all things magical. Maybe I could not cope with murder, but this creature was not human and it would not qualify.

So return her to me. 

Ryo is 『mine』. 

The grin didn’t fade as much as it shifted briskly, a contortion visibly painful but nothing compared to what the knife in my remaining hand did to the back of the creature with Ryo’s face. I had just lost a good portion of my arm yet the attack still made me feel sorry for the monster when it connected.

I had become, in all senses of the expression, a cheating backstabber.

Mankind’s answer to Mystery. 

A 『born killer』 who cannot murder. 

A soundless and inexpressive chock happened followed by a deafening supersonic wave spreading through the whole realm, and then it really was all over.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
|-
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</noinclude>

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin

2012-05-08T21:55:11Z

Ryuno:

questionable lines. i didn't change them for now.

'''EP'''

(maybe you could add a footnote as to what this stands for?)

'''The files got really heavy on the CPU and to export them the first time for the EP was hell,'''

(export them for the EP. are u sure this is right? not to or from?)

'''maybe we couldn’t post stems of it so it could ever be reworked it in the future'''

(ever --> never ???)

'''loop pedal'''

(maybe loop station? this guy has a loop station[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEeCL0VUCF0]]BTW he's awesome.)

'''“This band will be over as of the end of ''Ars Finita''.”'''

(i didn't get this at all. what is ars finita?)

'''“Surely you heard correctly, Shin-tsu.” She spoke in monotone.'''

(is the second sentence just a general statement or smth like "she said monotonously"?)

'''We all took music and ourselves too seriously to let it slide to the status of a hobby but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, which would be already hard considering the kind of music we played.'''

(but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, --> but had so much going on in our personal lives that we couldn't make a career out of it. ''Is this what you meant?'')

'''How can I let the only thing I truly believed wouldn’t end on me simply vanish like this?”'''

(is "on me" really necessary?)

'''Then I met Shiina Ryo and a big, loud argument began as a prelude to the wicked happenings that were to come.'''

(as an option - that were yet/about to come)

'''An outside as empty as one could be inside.'''

(what does this mean? could you rephrase it pls?)

'''I’m much weaker and I was found wanting to begin with.'''

(wanting what?)

'''Why on Earth would you people consider wasting it or being okay with passing through those few years ling like a dog, I have no idea.'''

(what in the world is ling?)

'''Shugoshin bit his inferior lip,'''

(what is an inferior lip? maybe lower lip?)

'''I had become, for all effects of the term, a cheating backstabber.'''

(in all senses of the word.'' sounds better imho...'')

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 15:34, 8 May 2012 (CDT)

1) Except from the second chapter:
“An EP?”
“Surely you know what the acronym stands for.”
“Extended Play, a recording too long to qualify as a single but too short to be a full length album. (...)”

2)For is correct because it is the mini-album is the "destination", not from.

3) The meaning of the sentence is that they could not provide the parts of it necessary for future editing, so I think "ever" still applies since it's being used to explain what would be done, not establish a condition as "never" would in this situation.

4) Both could mean the same, but a loop station does not need to be a pedal (could take different forms) while a loop pedal is always a loop station so the change would only make it less specific unless it was "Loop Station Pedal", which sounds nearly redundant.

5) The name of one of their songs.

6) General statement. Sorta.

7) Yes.

8) It's necessary because he's clearly using "end" as an euphemism for "die".

9) "That were to come" is epic, old school Bible-core usage.

10) The world surrounding him was pure white but had nothing in it, it felt as empty as someone feeling empty would feel themselves to be.

11) Again, biblical usage: "found wanting" is a reference to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_writing_on_the_wall Mene, Mene, Tekel u-Pharsin], that means "insufficient" or "guilty", so yes, I aimed for the pun.

12) "Living". My bad.

13) It does sound better.

Will be editing the ones that require it. Once again, thank you. --[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

User talk:Ryuno

2012-05-08T21:53:22Z

Ryuno:

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment

2012-04-30T20:48:07Z

Ryuno:

''Deja vú''.

Once again the boy I loved walked into the café, and not for the first time I couldn’t help but notice how similar he was to the girl I loved.

My name is Kouma Yon and I do not, for a fact, believe in fate. It strikes me as unreasonable when people prefer to believe that every little thing was already decided to begin with when such a thing not only denies the concept of free will, but is absurdly boring.

I, more than believe, acknowledge a god that watches all the possibilities and, having the power to pick and change them at will, reserves the right not to.

My concept of love might come across as warped to some, but in all frankness it doesn’t bother me because, even though I am entirely sure I am not the first person to feel that way, it belongs to me. It might be wicked love, but it’s my love and that is all that matters.

To me, love is the same whether it is directed towards a parent, a friend, a puppy or a lover. Not several kinds of love like the Ancient Greek used to believe; ''Eros'', ''Storge'', ''Philia'' and ''Agape'' are unnecessary names for the exact same thing, and that sort of conceptual mistake happens more often that you’d think. People seem to assume there are feelings in music, paintings, movies, novels, even martial arts. Like everything is mystical in its own way.

I am not ‘people’.

Music is just manipulation of noise, paintings are just lines and blots of pigments, movies are nothing more than pictures with noise, novels are mere printed words while martial arts are body movements and that is all. Nothing mystical, emotional or sacred about them and the feelings one might experience belong to the person alone; the artists may appeal to a certain kind of reaction, but it is absolutely impossible to tell whether the author was feeling something while composing a work or if the actor was performing with passion.

You can’t judge how a man feels from the style and lyrical content of a song he allegedly wrote about his lover, you can only judge the quality of the songwriting.

You can’t tell if a writer's ''magnum opus'' was born out of despairing memories or the author just acts like that to attract those who seek to be surrounded by all things edgy, you can only see if the fiction is well-written.

They couldn’t know my ‘art’ was just a thinly disguised mash-up of hundreds of styles, learnt by pure analysis of every dot and recreated with ease once every aspect of the source was fully comprehended. Instead, they called me a ‘genius’ and the second coming of this and that artist, while referring to my work as ‘deep and soulful.’ I don’t even think I have a soul. I didn’t feel a thing while drawing and painting the works that got me the scholarships I refused and prizes I didn’t bother to pick up.

Everything I do is just collage.

Subcategories based on concept instead of execution are futile. It doesn’t matter what you want or what you feel, just what you do. Your affection, your hate, your trust and care are null. Wanting to save the world doesn’t mean a thing, but killing one person or more does.

Cause is passive, void and worthless; effect is active, everything and absolute.

So whether the love I feel is a result of chemicals, a holy sentiment bestowed to me by heaven or misplaced attention resultant of the broken base for relationships I have, my intentions don’t matter as long as I act good. More important than ends justifying means, my means justify following or avoiding on purpose whatever idea that acts as an initial spark to them. It’s such a relief to my mind as it takes away the heaviest of all burdens.

Being a monster inside is no longer an issue for me, especially not when I’m around him.

“You’re looking great, Kouma. I like the dark red shirt with polka dot combination on you, makes you look almost harmless.”

“You’re being redundant.” He already knew of my fake narcissism was just a way to joke about my self-hatred. Yes, I was capable of making a joke. “Very unmanly too. Glad to see you’re the same as always, Shin-tsu.”

“Did you order already? I’m in the mood for-”

“French fries, because I remind you of Amelie. You told me that two months ago and I came dressed in the same outfit as a social experiment.” I touched the technical book on game theory not just from instinct. “You can subvert it now by picking something different and pretending it was your first option or say you wanted me to think that, but either way you have the bitter feeling inside that I got the best of you this time.”

I wondered if he was aware of the faces he made whenever someone tried to antagonize him.

“The shoes are different and so is the handbag. You were wearing earrings too, and the perfume was muskier than this one, which has a pretty noticeable ‘floral’ attribute, even a little bit of ‘citric.’ The order of red and green in your nails is inverted compared to that day except on the pinkies. Commenting on a haircut is irrelevant considering it was two months ago, so I will abstain from it. Your progress on the book regressed around thirty pages, hard to tell exactly because it’s a paperback volume. Might be thirty-three. One more thing.”

“Yes?”

“You hid your killer grin a little better last time.”

More like I don’t mind showing it to him as much, even if it seemed to scare everyone else.

“A full analysis, which implies you’re inspired. Wonderful.” I stared at the waitress who brought the coffee, Chinese dumplings and French fries I ordered exactly four minutes and a half before he got here until she went away. This session would not be a waste. “Go on, start talking. This therapist charges by the hour.”

“Guess I can’t hide anything from you.”

“Of all people, you should know I’m not stupid enough to fall for that.”

“Sorry, bad habit.”

“I forgive you.”

“Never thought I’d listen to these words coming out of your mouth.”

“I shall surprise you more later on. Mark my words.”

“Color me interested. Miss, may I?”

“Dislike the band. Go on.”

“I wonder if we can get away with that, having avoided so many brand names so far.”

“Shin-tsu?”

“Yes?”

“Focus.”

He frowned. “Okay. So, today I went out with Akane as I had promised her.”

“Are you that indiscriminate about females?”

“Just listen for now, okay?”

“You know I don’t work that way.”

“Yeah, you just like 2D characters and Shiina Ryo. And my arm.”

“Wait, what?”

“Nevermind. It was almost cute, how she was actually worried that I skipped school because I was scared of her in some way. No self-esteem whatsoever, really.”

“Did you?”

“No.”

“Okay, proceed.”

“So it didn’t take me long to realize she was looking for someone to sit with her on the bus.”

That line took me by surprise.

“…I beg your pardon? Is that a euphemism youngsters are using these days?”

“You know how strangers sit by your side in buses when there’s a free spot?”

I felt my eyes open wide.

“To avoid that?” I knew I was far from being a regular society member but even I knew the best way to avoid strangers on the bus was not to take it. “That could be even worse in terms of social awkwardness than Ryo, perhaps verging on ''savant''-level if one considers what you told me about her being a music school dropout slash genius. I appreciate that. Quite a lot. She seems interesting as a test subject even if I never saw one.”

“Wait for it. We got on the bus and no matter how much I tried, she wouldn’t use her voice in public. Pretty strict about getting the window seat too, and when that attitude transferred to outside the bus…”

“Excuse me, but how? Also, where were you going? The more details you give me the better.”

“She kept saying ‘please don’t stand in the same horizontal line as I do’ and similar because she’s so paranoid whenever there’s a mirrored surface she’ll use the reflection to watch the world around her. Not joking. And the city nearby, which was no surprise considering how big it was compared to this. If I were to take someone from outside the country out on a date it would probably be the obvious choice, since it’s the closest to a first-world kind of town you get around here.”

“Stay classy.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you. This one is growing, but it’s far from a metropolis. That one, not so much.”

“None taken. You were all around the world and have seen everything after all, right?”

“…I wonder how long will it take for me to convince you of that.”

“Carry on, will you?”

“I’ve been through some weird stuff but that date was one of a kind, really. We kept walking until she made me stop by a Post Office. What was interesting was not the place, but what we could watch from there. Or rather, ‘who’ we could watch. Or rather, ‘who’ we could listen to.”

“Megumi?”

“Yeah. Apparently the reason why she avoided everything on Saturdays lately was so she secretly could go acoustic on the train station. Not for the pennies, it was more to lose fear of public. I mean, really. She walks around like that all day and was afraid of playing at the festival so she decided to just go outside and learn it the hard way.”

“I take it Akane wanted to watch her from afar and that’s why she didn’t go with Megumi and went with you instead.”

“Which is exactly why I grabbed her by the arm and dragged the girl all the way there making sure to scream ‘GREAT PERFORMANCE MEGUMI, AKANE WAS TEARING UP BACK THERE’ at the top of my lungs so running away would only be harder for her.”

“So not you in a way, so you in others.”

“Ends justify the means.”

“Does the story end there?”

“Not quite. Megumi is a little simpleminded so she never questioned why we were there and just took the two of us out. We tried to call our leader but she didn’t think she’d be able to go outside unnoticed. Thus we visited two arcades and a karaoke, as those were things we can’t enjoy with Rin because she’d complain about everything, from the quality of the games in the current state of the industry to our singing. Then we went to a mall to eat more, because Megumi craves meat like a lumberjack, and things got a little weird.”

“Do lumberjacks crave meat? How exactly?”

“Yes, yes they do. Akane went to the bathroom. Megumi and I were just checking people out from the restaurant’s balcony and talking nonsense while eating burgers, such as crazy manias people have. I mentioned Akane’s paranoia and Megumi got mad. I tried to assure her it was just me being playful and nothing I wouldn’t say in front of Akane herself but she took offense to it and started mocking me. She kept on and on picking stuff about me while I tried to calm her down, but then she got loud and people started looking at us, so I kind of got back at her and talked about how her appearance was freaky and trying-too-hard, especially her eyes.”

“Mhm.” I contorted my face in a frown that physically hurt me, possibly due to not using the muscles, ever. “And then?”

“As she got visibly hurt Akane came out, gave me a hawk look and they left, so I came back and now I’m talking to you. Can you spare some of your personal insight?”

I tried to ignore the sarcasm, as it was obvious he was in trouble.

“In a moment. Let’s talk about Ryo for a while, so you can relate to what I’ll tell you a little better.”

“Is that how you want to do this? Alright then. I assume you know I talked to her recently and it didn’t go well. Despite the obvious issue with me, what’s going on with Ryo recently? She seems so… different.”

How brilliant, Sherlock.

“Mostly I’m afraid she has a huge creative block. As far as I’m concerned, ARK is on hiatus. It started a month or two before you came to town and at first it was a relief because I honestly needed a vacation from drawing concept art for every unlikely-to-make-profit idea she had, but now it bothers me.”

“Wait, haven’t you guys worked in any games, manga or light novels recently? From the way you were talking the first time it sounded like you did stuff like that all the time.”

“We work a lot on the concepts. We just never get anything done. Ryo’s methodology of work is 98% research and procrastinating, 1,50% complaining about writing and the rest is actually writing.” I took a sip. “That said, you are very, very mistaken and delusional when it comes to Ryo, Shin-tsu.”

He seemed confused, which was no surprise.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Unlike me, what you seem to like in her is a perfect idealization of her characteristics instead of accepting her as a whole. You mostly ignore her flaws and expect her to meet the expectancies you project on her. That’s pretty much how society brings up boys to be like, but that is still rather painful to watch, even for me.”

“Are you calling me ‘biased?’ You, the person who assumes everything in human behavior from functioning relationships to archetypes can be explained by Freud’s view of psychology? Attacking people because you think they’re going to be in the way of your childhood friend doesn’t help your case at all.”

Only then I noticed how rude I could come across to some, but couldn’t say a thing directly related to the topic after that without losing my composure.

“…Shin-tsu, you ought to start liking people for their flaws. Accepting them as they are, at the very least.”

“Seriously, what are you even talking about?”

“You take it as a pejorative remark of mine but I think you being biased isn’t that bad, as it’s a defining characteristic of yours. You are unsure, paranoid and biased, but that’s who you are, and without your flaws you wouldn’t be you, at least not the you I tolerate.”

I could tell he appreciated my use of ‘tolerate’ as a pretty word.

“Kouma, I…”

“Don’t.” I put my left palm one inch away from his face in a halt sign that could as well be some sort of slap. “If there’s anyone you need to apologize to, that is Megumi. Your bias went a little too far on her and it’s not exactly why you think it did.”

Using both the index and middle finger from his right hand, he slowly pushed my hand aside. Then he held it with both of his, as if he had the intention of warming me.

“Kouma.” He gazed into my eyes. “Tell me what I said or did wrong.”

I trembled for a fraction of second; the power he had was unbelievable.

“There is no way you could tell without some background information, but the reason why she got upset at you is a little deeper than just your dislike of her body modification. See, Ryo-chan and I went to the same grammar school as her, and although we were never in the same class because of our age difference, I recall she always stood out even as a child without the accessories, colored hair or more ink than blood in her arms. A tad too much, and kids can be cruel.”

“I don’t quite think I’m following your thoughts.”

“The mismatching eyes are actually hers, from birth.”

“Are you telling me I mocked someone with heterochromia?”

“She probably based her look on the concept of making enough of a visual ruse that no one would think her eyes are unfitting. This is just speculation, though.”

“…oh.” The discomfort in his face was so great the only reason I did not take a picture was because I was sure I would see it over and over again if I just stood by his side. “Then I guess I should-”

Not so fast.

“Pay the price for what I just gave you first. I didn’t come here just to eat with you, you know.”

“Yes. Your thesis. Most don’t work on that until they are, well, finishing college.”

“I am not like them at all.” Felt like Dracula, telling a defining truth that way. “Are you ready?”

The boy I loved just shrugged.

“Am I ever?”

“Well, then I have three what-ifs for you. Hopefully you can answer them honestly.”

“I’ll try.”

“Remember how you told me about the mysterious voice that mocked you inside your head and you haven’t heard it for a while? Perhaps coincidentally, one could argue, but not once since you chose to stay away from Ryo?”

“Yes.”

“Remember I was perfectly okay with you getting away from her, but not making her cry?”

“Quite vividly, yes.”

“One. What if I was the voice inside your head?”

“Not flirting, but sometimes you kind of are.”

“Not flattered, you liar.”

“Jokes aside, I don’t think that’s possible. Mind control or telepathy don’t work that way, and if they did and you knew exactly what was inside my head you’d have killed me by now.”

Or fallen for you.

“Alright, two. What if I am just a ''folie à deux'' caused by a power of Ryo-chan’s?”

“Shared Psychosis?”

“Not unlikely at all, considering Ayaka had a power that presumably allowed her to induce potent hallucinations by using a simple object like a paper card or, looking from a different angle, affected space in non-permanent ways. The first is much more likely considering she wouldn’t have missed the chance of using the latter against us during the battle, although whether the creature she seemed to be possessed by was rational enough to do so is debatable."

“I guess it would explain your romantic preference for fictional characters. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. No need to get mad at me. I don’t know how I’d react, but I guess it wouldn’t change much how I act towards you or her. If you were a figment of her, I think the only change would be that I’d like her even more.”

Interesting.

“Say, you knew she was sick from the very start, didn’t you?”

“I did spend a lot of time with her online, Kouma… The details are fuzzy and she tried to evade the subject so I don’t know how bad it is but of course I knew she was sick. You might be the childhood friend, but I know her too. Don’t underestimate that.”

I could feel my face muscles contracting lightly and it irritated me further to know he could tell.

“So you were aware of her state and came here anyway?”

“I wanted to be with her.”

“Task in which you clearly are succeeding at.”

“You can’t always get what you want.”

“Three. What if you can’t save her?”

Silence followed because I hit the bull’s eye, and I wondered how Shin-tsu liked a taste of his own medicine, what with him cornering everyone else.

“…I’m fully prepared for that outcome too. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it one way or another.”

“I knew you wouldn’t go full ‘I’ll save her no matter what’ and stuff.”

“And you know I’d die trying just like you, right?”

“Of course, partner. Such is the power of love, etcetera.”

“Oh, I don’t know about love. I do know I’d fight for you too.”

“You cunning bastard.”

“Easy there, crazy fashionista. I wouldn’t do it for just everyone. It’s just that I know you enough to care.”

“Do you know my true nature already?”

“Yes, Kouma.”

“Go on, if you please.”

“You are a 『derivative』 being.”

He scored a few points by using ‘being’ instead of ‘person,’ although that wouldn’t be as bad as ‘people.’ Either way, this was what surprised me the most when I met Shin-tsu: where others, and I am talking about the best of men with a natural tendency to go all the way towards amateur sleuth would see the facts and then tie them together as a method of discovery the truth, this little fiend I felt tempted to call a friend saw motives, just like that.

It could be magic or not, but it sure was interesting so I fueled the conversation to learn more about the extent of his deductive power.

“Care to elaborate?”

“You cannot create anything, ever. You have no hopes or dreams of your own, but you chose to enable those of the ones you care for because in a sense that would be all you can do. You have absolutely no imagination, just memories, yours and of others.”

“And what kind of human would be that?”

“I don’t think you are human, Kouma.”

“Do I look like something else? Bear in mind I might take offense to your response and if that is the case, you will have to pin your hope on me not being fond of the idea of bearing arms.”

“Excuse me if I came across as rude, or don’t. Your choice, but I can tell you I was honest and you should treasure that either way. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the concept of the right to own weapons, especially guns and similar, doesn’t fly too well here in Japan. But yeah, you come across as something like a magical beast to me. Not like the ones I met, though. Your DNA is pure ''Homo sapiens'' material alright, yet your mind is not. You are of human descent, and although this might not make sense at first, your nature surely isn’t human.”

“Correct, we can’t legally have guns here except for some very specific cases which require extensive and somewhat expensive procedures, such as in the case of hunters and sportsmen. And whether I confirm you are correct or not on the second one is irrelevant. Do you know why?”

“It’s simple: whether someone hears the noise or not, the tree already fell in the forest and a fact is a fact. It cannot be altered in any way, just the way we perceive it. Entity or mortal, what difference does it make if I know exactly what you are? What am I supposed to do after the thrill is gone and the mystery is solved? Walk away? Pray tell, how exactly would that be different from running?”

“So self-absorbed.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m wrong. To assume my argument is invalid just because I am a good-for-nothing, whiny, narcissistic jerk would go against your proclaimed love of flaws.”

“I wasn’t complaining about you being self-absorbed. Just mentioning it.”

“Alright then. What I mean is that I know all I need to know about you right now, and that would be ‘what kind of relationship we have.’”

“And what would that be?”

“My best friend.”

“Excuse me? Wouldn’t that be Ryo-chan?”

“Yes. And Reikoku-sensei. And you.”

“I’m afraid you are having issues with the Japanese language again.”

“No, this is more of a conceptual thing… I have strangers, acquaintances and colleagues, lovers and recently even band mates but no friends. I don’t trust friends, I don’t like the idea of that at all. People you laugh with, you cry with, you spend a year or two with and then stay away from them as your relationship withers to the point where you wave at them at the supermarket and that’s it… I don’t want that. I want constancy. I want something that remains forever because nothing ever does.”

It became crystal clear within seconds.

To him, ‘best friend’ is a slot rather than a title. The ones he could connect with were his ‘best friend.’

“Yet you walked away on Ryo. You noticed she’s not okay and you know there’s only so much reaching out to her I can do. Is that something you’d do to a partner you want for life and beyond?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

I was rendered speechless before his bold reply. He suffered no shame admitting how warped he was, and I actually envied him for it.

Shin-tsu was just my kind of repulsive.

“I’m willing to wager what I want for the things that others need, and sometimes to bet the very things I need too. Because I hate myself, but not just because.”

“Why would you tell me? Just because I am part of the group you name ‘best friend’? You should know this might be one-sided. People don’t often correspond to your feelings no matter how strong they are, believe me.”

“…you are really pleasant when implying you have feelings, Kouma. Much prettier than when you smile, too.”

“Once again, stay classy.”

“Friendly jabs aside… I really have to go and fix things up with Megumi. Catch you later.”

As he left, I found myself unsettled.

It bothered and interested me, how someone could be so pure and so pragmatic, so good and evil at the same time. He really was similar to Ryo, albeit far more experienced in a sense; this boy has obviously seen a lot of stuff, even though one needs to take his tales with a grain of salt. He manages to remain a sore thumb sticking out even in a world where, after what we saw, denying the existence of supernatural powers is just silly. Not to say that means everything he said about his past was truth.

To me, Koukishin Shinzou was a liar and that was final regardless of how much of one he would turn out to be.

He was not merely unaffected by morals like I was because of my unnamed condition or even exactly like Shiina Ryo, which would mean ‘switching extremes’ with her obvious Borderline Personality Disorder. Koukishin Shinzou was good, neutral and evil all at once, and every single one of those individual elements composed his ‘true’ personality in a mess so immense and intense they were barely recognizable.

Each of these were separately very easy to spot, considering how he was clearly holding back when we fought against each other and suddenly became stronger when I underestimated him, but did nothing more than stopping me despite having every reason to believe I would kill him if I had the chance. Or how he came up with the idea of trapping Ayaka using psychological pressure, but didn’t go for the kill. Instead, he aimed for restraining the monster while it could be seen Ryo tried to put it down for good.

He had boundaries and I wanted to know what they were, but asking him would be pointless one way or another, so I played games.

It was actually amusing how, even in this setting, just believing what he said was hard, while whenever he made a joke or said an inoffensive lie I had to fight not to get caught in it. Like he could say the truth and it would make one doubt, but whatever he said would only be instantly believable if it was tainted with a dosage of lies. Not hard at all to see how people could distrust someone like him; it was a curse whether he was aware of it or not, except the moment he decides to use that in his favor it’s bound to be a curse to everyone else.

So yes, I was thoroughly obsessed with his ambivalence, a precious monstrosity which gives a whole new meaning to polyvalence and given the circumstances, even gave an actual meaning to omnivalence. In other words, it could be said I was obsessed with him.

Not accurate.

I was, for all effects, obsessed. The object, however, was an immaterial one. An untouchable, flawless concept even in my eyes. Not just with him and not just with her, but with the fact the three of us managed to meet and bond somehow. Three beings so broken in different ways brought close and not by fate but by a small, infinitely slim chance…

“Shall we carry on with the little ‘conspiracy’ of ours, then?”

…it was just too beautiful.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane|Chapter 2: Akane]]
| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin|Chapter 3: Rin]]
|-
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</noinclude>

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II

2012-04-30T20:47:13Z

Ryuno:

== Part 1 ==
In a sense, of course.

What really happened is that I was all of a sudden brought back to the Festival along with Ryo, whose body just collapsed in front of me. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough to catch her.

Actually, I was thankful for both that and having two arms to catch her with.

After checking her pulse and discreetly running my hand down on her back to make sure the knife wound wasn’t there, I sighed deeply with sheer relief and then reached for the mobile phone in my pocket. One look at it and I was assured of what I suspected.

Time did not move at all ever since the kiss.

Another illusion? Seemed too complex for one, and it went on for too long, but I could not find another plausible explanation with the knowledge I had so far. My arm was here, I didn’t feel exhausted in any way other than mentally. Confusion levels rising and that alone was too much for my brain to handle at that point.

''Everything happened, but inside a layer.'' 
''A sub universe or a ‘scenario’ if you will.'' 
''It did, though.'' 

The Darkest.

''The girl is safe, you just defeated her Overdrive; to be precise, she is safe because you defeated it.'' 
''Although my speculation is that the reason why she’s passed has probably to do with the ‘condition’ her ability imposes.'' 

…condition? Wait, is this ‘Overdrive’ the Shugoshin-possessed state? So there really is a difference between a host fighting commonly and that…

''You got that right.: Ayaka and Ryo had breakdowns and the Shugoshin took over.'' 
''On the other hand the horn guy and you fought using the Shugoshin as weapons, so it wasn’t Overdrive but rather the correct usage.'' 
''Not that it pleases me to admit I am biologically no more than a glorified wishing well of destruction.'' 

What about Reikoku-sensei?

''She’s not a host, has the wrong sort of mind.'' 

No, I meant ‘why isn’t she here now’: if you say this was real, shouldn’t Reikoku-sensei have gotten here during the fight or at least after it? How can she expect to defeat the hosts if she can’t detect or at the very least provide immediate post-attack assistance? Is her idea of ‘saving everyone from them’ waiting for them to kill people so she can trail the monsters?

All the doubts I had earlier were resurfacing in no time and given the circumstances it was hard to pinpoint what was probable and what was paranoia. Was I wrong to have trusted that woman? Was I nothing but a puppet and bait in the hands of a self-righteous psychopath?

''Save it for later, we’ve got company.''

“She’ll be okay, Shin-tsu. You are needed somewhere else.” 
“Kouma.” I was almost annoyed by her presence at that point. “What do you mean? What are you doing here?” 
“No time for explanations, I know it’s a cliché but deal with it. What I am doing is damage control. If you cooperate, no one has to die.” 

I felt my eyes shift to match the mind state I knew was the worst of me.

“I’m going to ask this once so answer carefully. Are you threatening me?” 

She seemed hurt and shocked to her core, even horrified; I never thought I would see her that way let alone be the perpetrator.

“…look me in the eyes.” 
“Fine.” 
“I love you too, Shin-tsu. Would I hurt and manipulate you?” 

Didn’t take a lot of brain work for me to realize what my answer would be.

“If you had to for what you believe is my sake, yes, I’m positive you would.” 

It didn’t offend her, or if it did, she didn’t let it show.

“Do you trust me regardless?” 
“I do.” 

Which was true, too; Kouma Yon was literal-minded and an extremist, but she cared about Ryo and me in her own way so even if I couldn’t always agree with her when it comes to ‘execution’, I could trust the ‘concepts’ she had in mind enough to listen and help moderate her behavior. Her intentions were not harmful to me, at the very least of that I was sure.

“Good.” She nodded. “Thus a new experiment begins.” 
“Kouma, I’m a little too tired for this.” 
“Don’t worry; I’m here to save you. This is why I moved back in time.” 
“This ought to be the worst practical joke ever, Kouma. Even by those twisted standards of yours, I might add.” My crossed arms were trembling as I still got the ‘phantom pain’ of having lost one of them inside the monster’s world. “If you’re not giving me any evidence proving that you actually can travel in time, I’d rather stop this conversation right now.” 
“I know about you being KEN.” 

Something clicked inside my mind when she called me that name and then I remembered many, many things I came to this town to forget.

“…I’m listening.” 

She seemed absolutely delighted.

“The phone is going to ring. Pick it up. Repeat the lines I’ll whisper in your ear with exactly one second of difference and the same intonation: no mistakes allowed for now, we need to keep this timeline as close to the original as we can.” 

It did.

As I raised the phone to my ear level all I could hear was static followed by faint background noise, clearly the result of muffling the input area of the phone. Whoever it was on the other end, the intent was to make sure that the receiver would talk first: the reason I could assume was to find out if who picked it up was me.

After a few seconds I coughed just as Kouma did and intentionally took the bait.

“Hello?” 
“Nyahahaha~~! Do you remember me, KEN?” 

I wouldn’t forget that stupidly flamboyant laugh, ever.

“Death Drive.” 

Death Drive/D.D. used to be a Japanese scammer and murderer with a penchant for playing Houdini who would fake his death countless times, including on internet live streams and such. It was in one of those underground sites that I met Ryo. Not that we were into snuff or anything similar, anyway: I was there as part of my self-imposed and ultimately failed trauma-overcoming ‘routine’ and she was there to disprove him pointing out the flaws and inconsistencies of his number and method like an annoying kid at a magician’s presentation.

Except the ‘magician’ got so angry he went after her.

Over the phone and through the internet, I acted as a consultant and helped her survive his attacks. Together we defeated him and ended up sending the guy to jail for life as he was wanted all over three countries for many crimes that involved ‘faking deaths’ of other people, as in more than one coffin of a person related to him was found all clawed up inside because the victim desperately tried to get out and died spending the little oxygen he or she had under seven feet of mud after the bastard drugged them to put them in a ‘playing possum’ kind of state. He barely made it to prison though, as he had a heart condition and ironically almost kicked the bucket for real because he a little bit too nervous when he got caught. A temper and bad, bad heart made a lousy combination.

That’s when the two of us, Ryo and I, bonded. Not the cutest story for many, but it was cute enough for me because that bond lasted. Even against my attitude, for I would never dare say ‘will’; all I wanted from the bottom of my heart was to be near her for the rest of my life, regardless of title or relationship. This was obvious from the beginning to me, although whether I would get that or not was a matter of chance.

“The one and only. I just got out of prison a few months ago and thought I’d drop by and say ‘hello’ to our common friend.” 

As Kouma was telling me my next line, I could only think of how I did not have time to wonder how he got my number. This seemed specific enough to raise suspicion inside my heart.

“How exactly, pray tell? You got life sentence, no chance of parole ever. Your own lawyer applauded when the judge said it.” 
“And for as long as I was alive, I served it. Thing is, people seem to forget details and I think they are the most important thing, much more relevant than facts. My files said a lot about me, but not enough for the new prison I was transferred to. They saw me as a crazy murderer and all, and were ready for that. Not for someone whose purpose in life was to fake deaths with high-end or third-world-class methods, and thus with the unfortunate demise of Mr. Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier set Death Drive free, more now than ever before. This is why you were not told about my grand escape by your information service, although while we’re on the topic of information providers it should be noted that word on the streets is that you have been out of touch with your family and probably wouldn’t have gotten the gossip. If it existed, anyway.” 
“So you came after Ryo?” 

A disgusting snicker too sharp for my ears pierced through them, all the way to my brains.

“Not really. I mean, I might kill her too, what with her being a pretentious nuisance of a prey last time, but the one I’m after is you. You really annoyed me when you got involved, because it’s one thing to be against a kid and the other is to be against a living legend who is, as all of them, just a fake.” 
“It’s not my fault if you got worried thinking you were clashing against a genius detective or something. That is the kind of thing that only happens in movies. You should be thankful it was just another kid instead.” 
“Cause that’s exactly what you are, right? You lying demon. You fooled me into thinking that once already but I’ll get you this time, and in the only way it could hurt you: I’ll kill them all, and only because of you. You don’t get the hero’s death you crave for. You will be the only one who survives as everything burns to the ground. Mark my words, KEN: I’ll make your purgatory life hell.” 
“Still obsessed with imagery, I see. I know you like playing games. Tell me the target and we’ll race over who gets to it first while trying to catch each other.” 
“Tired of that. Let’s do something else.” 
“Like what?” 
“You try and find me hiding within school grounds before your teacher bleeds to death.” 

I knew what my next line was before Kouma Yon whispered it in my ear. 

“No.” 
“…” 
“I refuse. Do you understand that? I won’t become a sitting duck for you and I won’t waste my time over this. If you’re going to kill her, just do it. Let’s see what else you can do.” 
“For starters I can kill more students!” 

Getting more people involved was not the most pleasant of scenarios for several reasons, but I didn’t need to think about it because I was still getting all the answers ready-made.

“People I care even less about? What are you, twelve? If you’re going to negotiate on terms I should bet my life on, you ought to be able to make a better proposition than ‘run around with no idea whatsoever of where I am while I watch you from afar’. The stakes aren’t high on your end, thus this bet means nothing to me. I don’t care about catching you in particular; I just want you out of my way. You on the other hand, want my head. See how we’re different?” 
“…” 
“For me, it’s easy to achieve what I want. Kill her right now, I’ll just spread the word that an armed lunatic is within school grounds and Japanese police will be here in moments, having all those issues with guns and what not. They might be no good with conceiving ways to prevent you from escaping but you know damn well I am. In my case, the ‘no casualties’ condition is a bonus, not a goal. For you, it’s now a very important thing that the only person who knows you are out of prison and can put you back there for good, if not aim for a ‘special case’ informal death sentence using connections with other inmates or wardens. You don’t know my limitations, but I know yours.” 
“I know one. You can never kill again, KEN.” 

So he ''did'' get information from Lang Shou. That explained it all.

“Imprecise, therefore incorrect; if that’s all you know about that story, you’re in for a surprise. So, are you going to kill her? I thought you wanted to play with me.” 
“What are your terms?” 
“Oh, now we’re talking.” I sighed just like Kouma Yon did. “I need an hour to work on my side before the game starts. I’ll try to gather spies from the people here, students and parents alike, and brief them just enough information so they can be useful but not enough for them to get in my way as I have full intention of reaching you myself. Keep in mind that while you can take them down if they approach you consider that I’ll find you easier if they are my spies because I’ll know who went on which route and then... well, it’s up to you. I won’t give any more tips, already did my part in making this game more interesting. Are you with me so far?”
“You have twenty minutes. I’ll call again when it’s time.” 
“You are in no condition of negoti-” 

Call disconnected.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma sounded like she was trying to be careful with her words. “You know why he did that, right?” 
“She’s already wounded, so he doesn’t have the time.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Guess we don’t have the time to waste either. By the way, you could tell I was bluffing, right?” 
“I know you were, but only because you approached me during those fifteen minutes in the previous timeline looking pretty desperate, or at least as desperate as you get when you’re into something. I also know you could easily have been serious about it.” Matter-of-factly she just implied I’d allow murder to happen, just like that. If she thought that way, arguing was useless. “He held quite a grudge towards you.” 
“Not personal: I think he is on bad terms with everyone he ever crossed his path but I happen to be one of the few who are still alive.” 
“And he’d go out of the way to his freedom just to take ‘one of them’ out? You’re special to him. Whether you lied about your past or not is irrelevant at this point because you clearly did something at some point.” Kouma was serious and I couldn’t really blame her for being worried. “Koukishin Shinzou, if that is your real name, who are you?” 

I had to be honest albeit not necessarily specific.

“It is my ‘real’ name, just not my birth name; I’m adopted. I was taken by the most normal couple in the world who just happened to be the odd ones out in this absurdly unusual family. This should be as far as my connection would go to the weird circumstances, but I’ve gotten into some messed up stuff of my own and ended up making a name for myself as an individual rather than a son of the household. Because of that, people know my nicknames but most of them don’t know me. I know people.” 

She seemed satisfied with that vague answer of mine.

“I like you better now.” 
“Figured.” 
“You would, wouldn’t you? Before I tell you about the plan, tell me, so-called ‘hunter of monsters’: what good are you against a human?” 

Yes, that alone proved her time travel allegation even further. As if I needed any more proof despite the scripted lines and all.

It could have all been a ruse; the lines could have been arranged on the other side too.
She could be working with Death Drive too, they all could.

Let’s not go there; spiraling into paranoia is just what I don’t need right now.

“Good enough when it comes to deception.” 
“I’ll take your word on that.” An ironic reply considering what I just told her, but her voice had no sarcasm in it. Then again, I did tell her she’s not human to me. “Here is the plan: Ryo, dressed as you, will walk around school and act the same way you did in the first timeline following the script. Akane will keep your mobile phone and play the audio clips you will record with Megumi’s loop pedal and one of the microphones you used for the live performance. Whenever the phone with Ayaka gets a call, Ryo in disguise picks up too: synchrony is everything.” 

Let me suspend disbelief for a moment and assume that she got all of my movements down in exact words on paper, let alone in a way it couldn’t be misunderstood by a reader such as Ryo. Or that we can get high-school girls to help us pull a swindle or an operation such as that, just because they’re friends. Let’s point out a simple flaw first, save the awful implications for later.

“Hold on. What about ambience?” 
“What?” 
“Lack or different ambient noise on our end will make the recording stand out in places where he can both watch me and see what’s going on too. The recording won’t match the environments even when there’s no noise because of the room natural reverb too. D.D. might be an oddball but it will be hard to keep the act for long. Can we just redirect calls easily?” 
“Well, I wouldn’t know… it is your phone after all.” 
“Never tried, bought this new model right before coming to Japan and just had my number transferred.” Decided to omit the detail my previous one was eaten by a harpy from Kouma, who was just too much of a skeptic to take it even as a joke, which it was not, but would be a better reaction than hers anyway. I messed with it for a while. “Yes, this phone can.” 
“Alright, hand it to me. I’ll just set our speed dials’ first position to be each other.” 
“Good.” I was so focused I didn’t even want to make a joke about that. “I’ll wake Ryo up and brief her in. Can you get Megumi and Akane?” 
“No Rin?” 
“Her father is probably suspicious of me already, no need to add salt to the wound; what if we involve her and he follows us, only to be hurt or ruin the scheme? We know Akane’s mom isn’t like that.” 
“I see.” 
“We just have to hope they’ll cooperate with us, but if you say it’s for me Megumi might agree and Akane will come along.” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m absolutely certain I can get Akane to cooperate: it’s Megumi we will have to hope will come along, actually.” 

That made me confused.

“How can you be so sure you can mobilize them just like that? Did you talk to them about this before?” 
“Oh, not really. It is because of Ryo’s conspiracy.” 
“What are you talking about?” 
“Somehow, she guessed this whole ‘I want to protect you so I will get away from you but in a way it seems like we just grew apart because maybe we weren’t so close after all’ thing was your game early on and let, in her own words, the plot build up for a most cathartic finale. I aided her keeping track of your behavior with the café therapy sessions, but before you ask I actually am working on my thesis. When you told me about Megumi and Akane, I knew who we had to ally with to make sure you would be alone at some point during the festival. Then Akane gave us the information about the band ending plans and Ryo made sure you would not be told about it before the actual day so you’d be absolutely ready for some clashing morals and romantic angst when she confronted you, other than no place for you to just run away to. This is why we got Rin’s father to wait by the backstage and, although entirely unaware of our gambit, he was useful when it came to intercepting her and making you leave alone. What Akane doesn’t know is that her mother also indirectly helped the plan because she talked to Rin’s father a couple times before, what with being the only dedicated flower shop owner and all. I happened to overhear them talking while you played and while he was a little shocked that his beloved daughter hid something like that from him for so long, the hippie knocked some sense in him with a ‘boys will be boys’ kind of speech that reminded him of his youth days. In the end, we relied on luck a little but her sting worked.” 
“…Shiina Ryo out-conned me?” I laughed honestly from my heart. “Dear God, I’m going to marry her.” 

This was kind of intricate for a beginner so it made me wonder if the reason why they don’t seem to get along with other girls in school went beyond anti-social behavior. Another part of the explanation brought forth an even more unsettling question.

If it was all just part of the con she pulled on me, why did her Shugoshin go Overdrive? The plan would have ended there with the kiss; she should be happy but instead broke down. Sure that wasn’t what I expected from our first kiss either but it was because of the whole world fading to white and whatnot, not because it was such a bad kiss. Perhaps I’m mistaking the ‘cause’ here: let’s say it even wasn’t because of the kiss per se, but rather the strong emotion she felt triggering others in chain reaction after a period of bottling up, including the real cause. But what could that be? The emotional overload of a hundred of small problems or something else much bigger? If I were around, I probably would know.

“I’m sure she’d like that.” 

A certain fashionista I knew had an ennui face and I realized that, under the circumstances, it looked like I just spaced out imagining a married life with Ryo.

“Kouma, it was a joke.” 
“I know. Me being jealous is a constant rather than a common variable, so you just have to watch out for how much and not if I am or not; that is a sure thing.” 
“Talking about jealousy, it might be a little too rude to ask but do you think Megumi knows Akane likes her that way?” 
“Who’s to tell? One way to look at it is that she doesn’t have a clue; other implies she does and doesn’t want to reject the friend who gave her a home when she was in need. My personal guess, and I will take it as fact until proven otherwise, is that she knows and regardless of seeing her as a possible romantic pair or not will not move a finger until Akane takes the courage to go after her and confess properly. Which would be brilliant in a simple and effortless way, if you ask me: works if she just wants her friend to grow up or if she needs a more reliable and sure-of-herself lover.” 

How specific.

“Is that what you wanted the dynamic between Ryo and you to be? Good grief, Kouma, you’re such a maiden at heart.” 
“…” 
“Liking me or not, you wouldn’t have a problem if I got offended by being played that way and didn’t want to be involved with you guys anymore one way or another. Not only had you enabled her behavior, which could end up really bad, you also told me the whole scheme so that I could react the way I wanted. It was a matter of free will to you, and you were sure that one way or another I’d use mine to walk away if I had the chance. ” I sighed deeply. “So your personal conspiracy failed, in a myriad of ways.” 

I kind of wanted her to get mad but she just stared at me.

“It was an experiment. Experiments never actually fail, you know. They provide results one way or the other, even if the results are that you can’t achieve the ones you want by using that method; that outcome that could come across as bad narrows down the search and brings us closer to what can be called Science.” 
“So did you find out the answer to your question?” 
“It’s ‘yes’.” 
“And did you find the question to your answer?” 
“It was ‘whether I loved you because you were like her or because you are you’.” 
“...in a conditional question, marked by ‘or’, you replied ‘yes’ and that’s it?” 
“Exactly.” 
“OK then.” If that was good enough for her, it was for me too. “Enough talk; let’s pull a con on a convict.” 

A yawn was heard behind me but I had the impression she had been awake for a while.

“Shin-tsu.” Ryo said, half of the mouth still covered by her hand. “You’ve been waiting to say that for your whole life, weren’t you?” 

I didn’t bother denying it.

== Part 2 ==

The five of us stood on the rooftop as we prepared to perform as a different sort of band than the one I played with earlier and I felt like mood of the day was definitely crescendo.

To make things simple: I had two sorts of drama, kissed someone, had a visit from the past, slammed that bass with a progressive/extreme metal group, someone I cared for was in danger, got into a fight and it was an established fact my friends schemed a lot too. The festival was an emotional rollercoaster yet I didn’t feel that awake in months so it was hard to complain; I really missed the thrill and I hated myself for it.

Not just for that, but whatever.

The two remaining members of our posse joined without making many questions, but this probably had to with me activating The Darkest in front of their eyes and showing them the absence-of-flames I could summon. Akane was weird enough on her own, but what surprised me was how Megumi seemed badly shocked for a split-second and then calming down only to get hyper enough to ask why I didn’t use the visually exquisite anti-pyrotechnic ability as special effects during our concert.

The moment Kouma handed each one of us the Bluetooth earpieces and made sure we all had each other in speed dial I remembered how Megumi pawned her acoustic guitar and realized what Kouma and Ryo meant by how money mattered: it was easy to see how someone who for a while now have everything just handed to him would have trouble understanding the concept of not having enough monetary resources available.

What I couldn’t understand was why Kouma had two phones on her; it would be easy to comprehend if the number she gave any us was of the new one, but she did not even mention it even though it was on sight. The second model seemed very simple in comparison to her fashionable main one, not even from a well-known brand: it looked completely bootleg if I ever saw one, and I’ve seen my share of counterfeit merchandise through the years. What could be the purpose of that, if not to avoid using her day number for the calls?

Not the time to digress, I know.

The roles were simply established by default: Ryo would take care of distracting Death Drive by pretending to be me; Akane was the closest we could get to a gadget person and would operate both the phone that would actually connect to DD’s when he called and the loop machine we’d use to record my lines so I did not have to pick the phone and give away the plan somehow; Megumi would provide assistance to Akane but her job was to be the field agent that would make sure I could get unnoticed to the room we already knew he was in thanks to Kouma having been through this day once before; Kouma was our information source and mastermind for that operation. And me?

My job was, according to the fashionista, the same I chose on my own during the first timeline: to infiltrate and neutralize the bastard before he could do more than merely hurt our teacher.

Needless to say, I was uneasy. Thrilled in a sense, sure, but it was an unusual situation for that kind of mission: we had a ‘who’, the exact location of ‘where’ and more than enough data on ‘when’. Our real trouble was ‘how’ and we barely had any time to discuss it: it was either following Kouma’s lead or storming like a bull and risk Reikoku-sensei’s life.

I did not have much of a choice given the circumstances: I was offered a clean way out which would save me and others and the other option was letting Death Drive have his way.

I’d never.

With Kouma’s plan, Ryo would wear my clothes and walk around school in the same fashion as I did in the first timeline to keep it from diverging into new events due to the Butterfly Effect (not something I thought was entirely possible, but would have to work for a while somehow) and keep the day as predictable as possible until I could sneak behind DD and rescue Reikoku-sensei. This would have been all fun and games if it wasn’t for one detail: if my clothes were with Ryo, then whose clothes would I wear to successfully disguise myself in a school that was pretty much girl-only?

Yeah, pretty obvious and not particularly pleasant.

So they lent me some of Megumi’s, say, ‘hair’: one set of medium length red extensions, and despite having seen a lot of stuff ever since I was born I have to admit seeing that at least part of Megumi’s look was actually detachable and under the several layers of extension her hairstyle was essentially a sidecut freaked me out for some reason. Each of the extensions was placed under the sides of my own hair giving me an edgy look along with the side-swept fringe held by a bobby pin at the end. Ryo’s thick-frame glasses weren’t half as strong as I assumed they would be, so neither of us should have issues being with or without them. Kouma did my makeup; I told her ‘no heavy stuff’, but it’s not like we had the time for her to overproduce me anyway and the key was not to get too much attention, which I assume would be harder if I looked like Megumi did every day.

A little padding on the uniform to make up for my absolute lack of bosom helped although it would take a lot more than ‘a little’ padding if we were to simulate Ryo’s, so a few safety pins had to be placed on strategic points too. While they talked about my transformation on the go I realized my idea that Ryo was entirely oblivious to girly things such as makeup was unfounded and made me realize she probably used it a lot more than I noticed, which made me happy because being ignorant to a girl’s effort in cosmetics was pretty much a ‘guy thing’. And why did that make me, a self-proclaimed feminist, happy, you ask?

Because it took me one look at the mirror to realize they turned me into a hipster girl.

It kind of offended me deep down that to disguise Ryo as me they seemed to have a little more difficulty to make her look manlier, going as far as trimming her hair a little and using plastic to bind her generous-to-say-the-least bosom, tasks which she wasn’t particularly thrilled about. Still, despite the many bad things that could come out of it, there was no denying Kouma was right about her bone structure being the most similar to mine of the four girls; she looked like an idealized me so much it got to the point of making me look less like myself. Yet it wasn’t like I didn’t prefer her as a girl: there was just no way I looked that good as a boy.

She caught me staring at her and gave me the smile I missed so much in my life.

“Did you like it? Put a ring on it.” She extended her hand to me as those waiting for an engagement proposal but took it back after a single second and I knew it wasn’t just because that reference felt a little out of place. “Wait, I’m the guy now... this should be my job, traditionally. Go on, give me your hand. No… should I be on my knees while doing this, Shin-tsu?” 

Instant smirk.

“You ask as if I was the expert in proposals.” 
“Well, you sure flirt a lot amongst other things.” Ouch… With that critical hit blow I frowned instantly. I knew that was coming but it didn’t make taking the damage any easier. Guess I deserved that and the following five hundred remarks on that subject I surely would get over the course of months. “Forget it, I shouldn’t take things personal now. Let’s just move on. Our teacher’s life is at stake, it was shallow of me to waste time. I’m sorry.” 

No.

Postponing stuff or making things happen sooner than they should was what put us in trouble in the first place. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. The time was right then and letting the moment pass instead of hitting the iron while it was hot was a risk I was not willing to take.

“No, I’m sorry. You have the right to feel that way. I should have treated you as an equal and I apologize for not doing so. This is why we became friends in the first place, so I shouldn’t underestimate you and think you can’t take whatever I am dealing with. Concern does not justify concealing information, and thereby this offender offers a truce.” 
“On what terms?” 
“I promise to never hide anything from you again.” 

Dramatic pause, as expected of her.

“What is it in exchange for? Forgiveness?” 
“Forgiveness isn’t something that can be bought with a deal, no matter what the State might say about pardoning someone in exchange for information on others. Either it blooms on its own or it’s bound to be taken back in the future. Remission is more of a realistic procedure, if you ask me, so I’m aware I deserve some consequences whether I regret what I did or not because I wronged you.” I had to stop myself from going off the tangent too much. “What I want is the same of you: you are not to withhold information from me. If we are to stand side by side as equals, you need to stop hiding things too. You’re in some sort of trouble and not asking for help. While that is commendable as an effort, it means nothing if you can’t get past it on your own. Kouma and I, we’re here. If you need us, just ask.” 
“Just that?” 

I nodded.

“Just that.” Gently I took her hand and held it, ready for a shook. “Truce?” 

Rather than taken aback, she seemed peaceful like a burden was taken off her back.

“Yeah, I guess we really are the same. Truce.” 

We shook hands in a rather firm way but if it hurt her she did not let it show. Despite having kissed her earlier surely that was the moment of the day when I felt connected to her the most.

One interpersonal issue solved, all that was left was to save Reikoku-sensei.

I looked at the script she wrote for Ryo and realized why the idea was, at least to some extent, executable: it was made of references and had several drawings. Every movement, pose and line she had to lip synch had very specific written observations that tied with sentences and such in TV series, manga, movies, books and even real life people such as celebrities and politicians. In face of such bizarre script one cannot help but wonder if what brought Kouma Yon and Shiina Ryo together was not something particularly deep and poetical but the fact one of them is so derivative she cannot do anything without comparisons and the other has an insane crave for knowledge especially of the pop culture variant: maybe the initial spark of their relationship was indeed because they were, for each other, the only ones who could fully understand what the other was talking about.

I could comprehend that well, creating a bond over being extremely similar in one particular aspect. Surprisingly, I could even rationalize how Kouma managed to make a script with such a tremendous degree of descriptive information about my actions embedded in it.

This was only possible because Kouma’s ability was pretty specific.

She called it ‘It Keeps Happening’ and stated that the moment she activated it like I did she found out it worked like this: every time she sleeps she creates/overwrites her ‘save point’, to which she can return her mind to but not her body or any items. Kouma wakes up at the exact same moment that she did after using her power but once she sets a ‘save point’ by waking up, she cannot go back to a previous one ever again. Thus as long as she stays awake she can always use her ability to revert time on a personal level and rewrite the timeline.

Which did not, in any way, seem to match the alternative explanation she gave the other girls, that her power was to predict the future and ‘expel’ the script for someone. Whether she lied to them because we didn’t have the time to explain or because of a special reason she had not to be open about her power, I would just play along. Maybe it was a secondary effect of her time travelling power, I could not tell.

''Personally, I find that all to be a little tricky.'' 

Why exactly? I’d like to have your input on this.

''It’s obvious she’s something else, for she mastered her Shugoshin already to a point there isn’t a trace of it other than the power.'' 
''However, to do all that on the first time?''

Mastered her Shugoshin? So she doesn’t get voices in her head anymore?

''Don’t assume everyone does just because you do: my species isn’t known for sentience, or at least what you humans would consider sentience.''

What do you mean, then?

''Consider this: let’s say I am not the only of my species who actively thinks and talks, especially to the human host, and the other one is just like me.''

But it would be using the same logic you just condemned!

''Not precisely and it’s just a postulation so no need to get that upset: if I did not inform you of the full extent and limitations of your power yet, why would hers?''

…do you really want answers?

''Possible solutions.''

Alright then. How about ‘different personalities’? No, you talk too much about species, chances are you’ll disregard that and say you guys work on some sort of ant-like communist regime or something. Would it be too far from the truth to assume our powers were supposed to just keep developing instead of being stable from the start?

''You really can avoid seeing possibilities that are in your face when you don’t want to.''

Paranoia can be used against you too. Thinking bad of one of my ‘best friend’ persons is bad enough; two would be too much stress to handle at this point. Unless I acquire enough evidence for it to sink in as slowly as it can to avoid the complete shock, I’ll deny it with all I have.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma uttered to bring me back from my internal monologue. “It’s time.” 
“Understood.” I coughed on command, trying to get rid of the weird feeling at the back of my throat just to realize it was a psychosomatic symptom. “Standing by, waiting for your command.”

She stood still, visibly uneasy about what to do next.

“Are you sure? I could simply work as a source of data. This plan is a derivation of yours in the first timeline, you know.” 
“Whether it is or not, it doesn’t matter: the shortest the distance between a leader and the information necessary to guarantee the success, the better. You call the shots this time, Kouma; I’ll trust your judgment and follow your lead.” 
“I’ll definitely save you.”

Her bold statement made me ponder on how the events of the first timeline turned out; it shouldn’t be me who would be in danger, and if there was danger directed towards me it probably would be directed to Ryo, which made Kouma’s line even more unusual. She would not put Ryo in danger for my sake, and it was her plan. So what the hell did that mean?

“Wha-” 
“Everyone, on your positions!” Contrasting with the previous uneasiness, Kouma sounded no less confident than a general. “Ryo, go downstairs and wait for the simultaneous call to move outside as planned. Take your medicine as soon as you get there so we’ll have at least one hour before you’re drowsy or in pain.” 
"Aye aye Capt'n!" 

My favorite person in the whole world did an army salute and left.

“Akane, man your station.” She ordered to the silent girl who had already taken the messy fringe of hair out of the way of her hawk-ish eyes and only nodded in reply. The kung fu fighting fashionista then gazed at the easily amused fashion disaster. “Megumi, it’s not too late for you to back out.” 
“I don’t know much about what’s happening but if there’s something huge going on and a friend needs me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Megumi looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up. “Just take me out for burgers later and we’ll be even, okay?” 

She was quick to get angry, reckless, clueless whether it was fashion or business, irresponsible and had double standards; she was also quite normal compared to the others and a good friend who would accept hers gladly and fight anyone for their sake with what little weapons she had. I liked her a lot and was just thankful Kouma’s plan would keep Megumi away from the actual action rather than going back and forth and providing assistance to Akane, or at least away enough that she could not try anything ‘heroic’; it’s people like her, those who look in a way too good for this sinful earth, who die first.

“Shin-tsu.” 
“Yes, Kouma?” 
“Go.”

At which point I ran across the rooftop and threw myself to soar over the fence of the building; thus began the operation.

== Part 3 ==

The reason why I jumped was because I needed to be sure I’d be out of Death Drive’s sight and the only ways I could get to the floor on the side of the building he could not watch were by either breaking down locked doors to get access to the windows or doing what I did: he could not, in any way, see two KEN walking out the building door or the gambit would be ruined.

I used The Darkest in the same way I did inside Ryo’s dream-like subdimension on the first activation, by having the anti-flames in a layer enveloping my body instead of condensing it on a single spot. I guessed it would cushion my fall or at least let me heal faster than normal so I could move unnoticed by an alternative path Kouma had traced for me on a map of the school (and would possibly have hand-waved as part of her ability had I asked about it).

Frankly, my expectations were exceeded: in such short distance of four floors it actually reduced my terminal velocity to nearly nothing mid-air, making me not ‘land’ as much as ‘gently hover’ to the ground. Gravity found a new way to mess with me: just when I started learning about Physics in order to bend Space and Time properly, something like this happens…

It was out of my comfort-zone to say the least.

My first impulse was to look around and make sure that, despite what Kouma Yon told me, there was no one around at the exact time. It did not surprise me to see she was right again, although it was obvious she’d be considering the scripted phone call and all.

After placing the Bluetooth device on my ear I stretched just to be sure my body was okay, not for the first time after the ‘losing an arm’ incident, and started running through the route she drew to me. As I passed by trees and waited precise amounts of time to hurry to the next pre-marked stop while taking care not to slip or fall, as to ensure the timing would remain perfect and I wouldn’t be seen by anyone who didn’t see me in the first timeline which could unleash a chain reaction of magnificent proportions and hellish results.

Scouting to avoid others was easier with the enhanced awareness I had now that my Shugoshin was active: the less I focused on my vision the more I could sense the thermal levels around me and tell the difference, which explained quite a lot on the subject of how Ayaka’s could fight so viciously or the disorientation of the monster in Ryo’s dream-world when I got rid of that particular trace with The Darkest.

There was a lot at stake and I could only wonder if I still had the skill to make something like that happen or, if I didn’t, I could use the new acquired one to ensure the best outcome possible. Thus I began to ponder on it, because if Kouma, Ayaka and even that psychopath guy had somewhat complex ones I should get to consider its limitations to raise my chances of success, which meant saving someone’s life.

If I were to describe it based on appearance, I’d say it was just improbably malleable black anti-fire. Low damage but a lot of variety in possibilities of usage, along with unusual and unlikely sub-effect while being very exhaustive: it was hard to believe my power meant for surveillance alone or long-term fighting.

''Don’t fool yourself, the purpose was clear.'' 
''It was made for you after all.''

If you mean ‘assassination and deception’, I have to argue it’s only half right.

''Like I said, don’t fool yourself: this is tailor-made.'' 
''Just strong enough to kill but not the kind of power you’d bring to a battle if you could help it in most forms, and visually flashy looking enough to keep others away and yourself concealed from the most dangerous enemies’ radar may their eyes not be on you.''

So the reason why my attack power is so limited it’s because it’s a very broad ability?

''Think of it this way: there’s a limit to a Shugoshin’s power and it is inversely proportional to the area it covers.'' 
''The broader your range is in reality warping, the less you will of this limited power spread over the span of it.'' 
''Still with me so far?''

Yes.

''Good, good.'' 
''Now consider that you have to fight others with the same growth potential, probably to death: in a situation like that, what do you think would be the obvious way to spend your points?''

To focus on a particular deathly ability and raise it to its maximum potential compressing all of it on a single point: a better way would be with 80-85% on the specific ability and the rest on a sub-effect, like a ‘blade’ covering a particular area.

''Correct: is your ability one of those?''

No.

''And why do you guess?''

Because I don’t need 80% on the specific power: I just need to be strong enough not to be instantly killed by monsters and to overcome any human, so I can trick and defeat them because that’s how I fight. Therefore I can spend the rest on more valuable effects of it rather than in raw power, which would be a waste in my case. In comparison to the ‘blade’, mine would be more of a ‘bamboo with spikes’; in direct confrontation it would break, but the thing is I am not looking for a clash of weapons.

''You aim for the opponent’s meat.''

That’s exactly where it works just fine, because if I absolutely have to use something like that I’d rather hit just once.

''You mean in battle or in life?''

You know the answer already.

''As always with you, ‘both’.''

The phone I exchanged with Ryo for mine vibrated once and I did not need to pick it up because I knew it was Kouma making sure I was ready for the big halt. For the next 45 seconds I was supposed to stand by until the mass of people would pass and I could move again. Would have been an eternity of moments if I didn’t know that I would be able to see Ryo in action, as this was the one time in the route I was planned to follow when I’d ‘meet’ her.

I watched her walk and gesticulate with my phone in her ear, mostly as I would and sometimes as I should. Seeing her as a part of something like this had a certain appeal I won’t bother to deny even with the danger: it was like she was made for it, and I hoped she was feeling better by then. Sure there was a conflict in her life we did not have the time to talk about yet, but she finally made the transition from normal highschooler to girl with powers who cons criminals; as far as I was concerned, she dreamed about that day for years and envied me for it, although it’s arguable whether she honestly believed what I said or just appreciated the stories. Ironically as it might sound, I wanted her life too.

Everything was going according to the plan.

Ryo had been following Kouma’s instructions; Akane operated with surgical precision the loop pedal with the necessary snippets of my voice; Megumi would stay assisting her and getting the calls from Kouma but she was actually our trump card as she would be our secondary field agent in case something went wrong; Kouma would walk around unnoticed too one step ahead of us every time and ensure the situation would follow the planned route at whatever cost.

However, the moment I realized I thought ‘everything was going according to the plan’ I knew I should have known better than this and got my heart more ready for a disaster than usual and this is coming from someone who lives by ‘prepare for the worst, hope for the best’.

So I stood by.

That’s when I saw Rin approaching Ryo and knew it would all go to hell because Rin did not know that was not me and she had a certain look on her face as she held her father’s hand and went towards the girl disguised as Koukishin Shinzou. I dreaded that face so much.

The ‘teehee, I’m going to introduce you to my parents’ face. And it’s not just girls who do that kind of stuff, acting mature and cold to hide insecurity or more specifically the fear of rejection, so I couldn’t really blame her. Regardless of gender, some people are just closer to our conceptions of ‘maidens’ at heart than ‘commanders’, although nothing says one cannot be both. But Rin was one severely repressed broken bird and I could tell the cathartic performance and sickly sweet talk with her father gave her and injection of positivism and endorphin rush.

Of all times, she had to act like a love-struck teenager at that point: when lives are at risk, when I’m dealing with all sorts of trouble, when I had lost a very important thing to me, while she knew I had unfinished business with someone else. She had to pick today, because she was in a better mood than usual, to make her move. Rin had to choose this day to be like that. This only made me think of how Rin’s constant need to impose the mood was because she couldn’t just read it and that was the only way she’d know what was going on.

But what bothered me the most was to read her father’s lips from distance as they got closer and I could only try and predict what would happen at the moment she’d wonder why there was a girl wearing the clothes of her romantic interest and looking exactly like him while ruining the plan’s perfectly synchronized timing.

“…Rin, did you say Koukishin?” 

Yeah, I should have considered that even in a smaller city, as long as I’m in Japan some people might know the name ‘Koukishin’. That could mean a lot of trouble.

While I was busy trying to figure out a way to get us out of that situation without making everything so far be a waste a flash of colors, albeit slightly less colorful than usual, passed by and did something that affected us all.

It is always a matter of perspective.

I saw Megumi kiss Ryo and ruin the plan in great scale while doing her best so it wouldn’t be ruined by someone else; Ryo’s eyes opening in complete shock, still too lacking in field experience to know that the fictional rule of ‘whenever there is a plan in sight something is bound to go terribly wrong’ actually applied to reality as well; Akane probably saw something that angered her in a way, but implied she’d have a chance in the future because Megumi did not seem entirely adverse to kissing girls; Kouma was bound to be murderously furious by now one way or another and in the most potentially damaging example of all, Rin saw a Shin-tsu she would approach being taken in the way she wanted the most by someone who could not rival her in class, leadership or guitar playing.

I guess rich people get heartbroken too.

Knowing just thinking that made me a horrible person inside, I watched her consternation-filled eyes with a similar look her father gave her. It was stupid of her to expect more when the boundaries were established; it was idealistic to think something that started so wicked and wrong could become a proper relationship despite its roots. No one said teen rebellion is all sweetness, and there is a reason why growth is necessary. I still felt bad for her to get that kind of shocking view but at the same time I knew she had it coming one way or another. Not a matter of ‘what’, but ‘how’.

Rin didn’t run away crying, instead just staying there and looking back as he guided her away on the opposite direction back to what was left of the festival. Megumi ran while picking up her phone soon after the kiss, like it was a hit-and-run operation. Ryo just stood there but picked up the phone when D.D. called ‘me’ once again.

And this, well, this is when stuff got really, really weird.

In case things went out of script, the calls should be transferred to the phone I was holding so I could improvise lines for damage control. No one eve worried about my talent to do so, and not just because I took pride in being able to perform impromptu whether the subject was music or life, but because when I said ‘it was just something I came up with at the spur-of-the-moment’ I meant ‘I pondered over every possible scenario ever beforehand like every good comedian or performer should’.

You don’t just go on a stage and play whatever is on your mind, you execute combinations of riffs and licks you trained for quite a while altering them to fit the musical scale and overall idea of the composition; if it truly was randomness they wanted, any member of the audience would do. Improvisation took a lot of preparation.

I was ready for anything Death Drive could throw at me and all Ryo had to do was make sure he wouldn’t notice her lips weren’t in synchrony with the voice as it was a three-way call with her end muted. Well, almost anything.

His scripted line didn’t change at all, as if it was pre-recorded.

I panicked and felt like hanging up immediately, but managed to keep it until the exact point where the conversation was supposed to break on the script. I knew for sure that was virtually impossible: Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect simply do not work that way. It was absolutely preposterous to consider things would go smoothly on track after Megumi’s intervention, to the point where only bad time-travel novels would ignore the change in pace.

Let me say this once and for all: there is no such thing as a clean and easy time travel plot, under no circumstances. The moment you act outside of what was supposed to, the whole scenario is bound to change sooner or later because of cause and effect, like dominoes falling one by one. Hell, even having anyone who didn’t help me in the first timeline collaborate with us now was bound to affect the scenario quickly, for they would not be where they were and that would affect the actions and reactions of other persons as a direct consequence shaping the world into something unpredictable.

To have Death Drive say the exact same line despite all that change made this whole thing entirely unbelievable.

While a ripple in the water takes a while to affect something in large scale, no one with a brain could deny a disturbance like that had to make things go off script, because a) he saw something he didn’t in the first timeline, which would alter the course of information on his brain and b) the timing of the plan was done for and unless he had a script of his own to follow. Yet such an impossible ‘coincidence’ took place therefore it was safe to assume the game had to be even more rigged than I initially thought. Whom it was supposed to help… now that was an absolute mystery.

It’s times like this I hate mystery even without capital letters.

No matter how much I didn’t like the idea of even pondering on the subject, Kouma could have easily set me up. It made sense. She could have been sided with Death Drive to begin with or even planning to catch the two of us, killing two birds with one stone. A two-way trick; I trusted her to some extent, but they don’t call it a ‘confidence game’ over nothing.

But the silliest thing I could do at that point was to quit.

“Kouma, he’s cheating.” I said when she picked up after two and a half rings. Guess she didn’t see this one coming. “He might be really killing her and getting ready to escape right now. Hell, she might be already dead.” 

And it would be my fault.

“How do you know?” 

Naturally a lie came to mind.

“Feedback.” 
“What?” Kouma’s voice was getting breathy. “What do you mean?” 
“I heard feedback from the noise that happened by my side on his end. He’s not holding the phone anymore; it’s on speaker mode now. It wasn’t before so I take it Death Drive probably got his hands busy.” 

Such an obvious perversion of the truth yet if she outright denied its possibility it would be like she walked with a shirt with ‘traitor’ written all over it. Her reply was unimpressive.

“There was no feedback whatsoever, what are you talking about?” 

A creature with no creativity could not do much other than try and buy time. I would not let her, especially if Reikoku-sensei’s life was in danger.

“I’m going in.” 
“Shin-tsu, don’t! You’ll ruin everything! Stick to the pl-” 

But I hung up and ran fast enough to feel my lungs burning before she could say anything else. I knew it would ruin her plan that was supposed to protect us all, but I’d do it. I’d walk into his trap. Why?

Because ‘me finding out the scheme’ was certainly not in her calculations one way or another, but there was a possible outcome that would save Reikoku-sensei even if Kouma was actually being honest. It was simple, crude and effective.

All I needed to do was to assassinate Death Drive.

“GUH!” 

The taste and texture of bile filled the inside of my mouth and escaped it a millisecond before I could cover my lips with my crossed hands. I burned feverish and felt excruciating pain in every muscle or joint I had, my mind wavering and heart pulsing like a collapsing temple. As I watched the world spin around me I knew it was hopeless; if that was how broken I was, if that was how I got whenever I just considered murdering someone not possessed by an entity…

…I would only have one shot.

''Waiting for your command.''

“Huh.” I spit the vomit on the ground and bit my inferior lip hard enough to feel my canines pierce it. “SET ME ABLAZE, THE DARKEST!”

Halfway the growl the body of the young man some knew as Koukishin Shinzou was entirely embraced by the ghastly absence-of-flames and, as if watching someone else, I saw the position of my hands turn from wide open to claws. Anatomically speaking, my body contorted to an aerodynamically improbable wolf-like stance before I let myself run like the predator I needed to become for that sinister task I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform without losing my sanity over it.

The psychosomatic effects never stopped afflicting me and every step was grief, but I had the strength to keep on moving in me; where I was getting it from, I had not the faintest clue. And even without Kouma I could have found out on my own exactly where the egomaniac monster would hide and that was where I was heading. The room in the school he’d claim was made for him. The room that belonged to a club that was no longer.

The one with a plaque that had ‘d.m.c.’, the initials of both his birth name and our club, written on it.

An unpleasant coincidence, very much like me getting there and realizing the plaque was no longer there. He saw it, knew I’d look for it and probably took it somewhere else in the building to make sure I’d follow him.

Which I would instantly if I didn’t have to get Megumi out of my way for her own good.

“Bro, what the heck is going on? When that Kouma girl called I thought she was going to chew my… but yeah, she just wanted me to come here and meet you. She said you needed help.” No, Megumi, Kouma wanted you to delay or stop me. “What can I do?” 

Kouma knew it was too dangerous for Megumi to come along. Of all of us Megumi was, against all odds when it came to looks, the most ‘normal’ and defenseless one: even without powers, Akane was paranoid and sneaky enough to be dangerous. What could Megumi do, really? Annoy the guy with bass music she didn’t use the correct nomenclature for? It was just electro house, for Heaven’s sake: adding wobble bass and random samples does not change the genre.

“That’s right, I need your help.” Denying it would only make it harder for me. “Do you still have that golden paper clip?” 
“Wait, dude, that was months ago.” 
“Do you?” 

She quickly searched her bag and it didn’t surprise me that someone as obsessed with oddities (because even though the story about her eyes is probably true, it’s obvious she developed a taste for the weird over the years) would keep an object like that around.

“Here; what are you going to do, pick a lock?” 
“Kind of. Give me your phone too. Don’t have the time to explain.” Cutting her way of communication with Kouma would help me avoid undesirable surprise, but even when she handed me the phone I made sure to check if it was set to vibrate and held it on my back so she wouldn’t hear or see it in case our common friend called. “Need you to make a fuss to get people distracted. Biggest you can without getting caught, ok? Do not get in trouble.” 
“Alright but-” 
“Megumi, now!” 

The colorful girl muttered something under her breath and stormed off clearly infuriated which was expected and understandable: I knew how she hated being ordered but I also knew I needed her to be safe. While I could be sure she was not to take this to heart in the long run, it didn’t make the task any more pleasant. If being an adult meant knowing when to do what you must rather than what you want to, I had been an adult for quite a while and it was absolutely nothing special.

I knew what I had to do then so I reactivated The Darkest to remain as concealed as I could.

As I began to run through the building’s floors looking for the plaque, since finding would probably lead to finding the maniac who took it, I fell the phone vibrating and the moment I saw the name on the screen I pressed the ‘end call’ button to make sure Kouma would know she couldn’t reach Megumi even if she wanted to. Next, I looked at the on-screen clock and decided to do my best to reach Ryo by calling her the exact moment her next synchronized call from Death Drive disconnected to warn her in a way she would know it was really me instead of having Kouma act as an impersonator through text without wasting too much time and gathering unneeded attention not to avoid ruining the plan but to keep the farce to Kouma.

After a disturbing moment of rising desperation the time her line would become free finally came.

The phone in my hand vibrated again as I tried to call Shiina Ryo, but it was Akane this time; the moment I was about to punch ‘end call’ I heard the beep on my Bluetooth ear device and from then on I only had one thing in my mind. 

Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. 

Like a mantra it resonated in me as I saw through her improvisation, once again, derivative; as used in an episode of a certain American television show with a conman as a main character, her tactic now was to stop me from reaching Ryo by cluttering my available phone lines. Most if not all modern phones have the poorly thought, albeit occasionally useful, custom of just making calls pop-out on screen even when you’re doing something else, like dialing a number. The problem, at least in my case, lies in the fact I could not block these calls even if I knew how to in this phone specifically because of the nature of this attack. At that point I could not tell whether she was using both hands to control the phones or tricked Akane into desperately calling Megumi out of concern with emotional blackmail of some sort.

My greatest fear, however, was that Kouma would see an even simpler solution.

Since I had Megumi’s phone, which I was sure Kouma knew by now, she assumed it was in her best interest to clutter both lines with calls I wouldn’t pick up. It was wrong of her to think so and the reason why is that, considering how badly the ‘plan’ had failed and was pointless at this point whether she was an ally to Death Drive or not, she could just go and instead call Ryo, who would pick up promptly. It would make her unreachable to me by any means that weren’t text, and even so it could be said Death Drive took control of the phone lines I had in my possession or had some fake message software or similar. It would make her worry but would keep her under Kouma’s domain.

I needed to save her.

My mind was splitting into several sections as I kept running around the building looking for the plaque and fending off Kouma and Akane’s calls while trying to connect with Ryo until the moment I came across the two of my targets at once: at the same time I found the right door I also heard Ryo’s voice through the earpiece.

“Hello?” 

There was so much I needed to say, but I didn’t have the time. The enemy that held Reikoku-sensei hostage was in front of me and for all I knew she was dying a little more every second I wasted; on the other hand, Kouma was bound to look for Ryo or me and my main concern was that Ryo wouldn’t take me seriously and walk straight into whatever trap Kouma Yon laid, whether it was for just me or not.

''What if Ryo is involved in this scheme too?''

“…” 
“Hello?” She tried again. “Who is this?” 

…isn’t it obvious? Then I’ll gladly die by her hands.

“Abort mission. Stay away from Kouma. Hide now.” 
“Shin-tsu. It is really you.” 

Savvy or not, to get to that extent she probably got text messages already.

“Trust me.” 

Considering whom I was, that sentence sounded absolutely ridiculous. I was a con, a lying demon, a manipulator, a trickster, the last person you should trust especially when on the other side of the fence you have a friend you grew with, who has been there for you when you were sick, who had always loved you one way or another; I was just the other person, the guy from the internet, a glorified stranger who was probably faking it whenever the two of you would talk about any subject and had matching views. I was no one.

“I will.” 

I could feel my heart beat everywhere in my body. Sure, Ryo could have said that and then betray me: I wouldn’t blame her. She made me happy at that time, like I really belonged somewhere. Like I finally had someone even if I had nothing else I could truly call mine.

I felt loved.

So I hung up, held Ayaka’s knife by the blade with my right hand and got myself ready to open the door and throw it at Death Drive giving priority to the head but would be okay with settling for the heart. Due to my own issues, I would probably lose my mind the moment I saw someone be killed by my own hands and, in case I ever did, would probably wake up in a hospital only to be either sent back to the Koukishin clan or a juvenile council if grandpa was finally done trying to give me chances to actually live my life the way I want. Couldn’t say I had no regrets, but it was beyond the point.

“Here goes nothing.”

I slammed the door open with my left arm and walked in the classroom ready to give up my sanity to kill a man who murdered many. I was not, however, ready to see my teacher on a chair covered in irregularly placed barbed wire and something metallic on her head that even before full comprehension made me lose hope and the ground under my feet. When faced with her body tainted in red I realized the anti-flames were gone along with my concentration and whatever resistance to gravity my body could have by standing up.

My knees faltered and I felt to the floor as the bastard laughed.

“Nyahahaha~~!” 

In front of me, trepanation; her perforated cranium still had the drill he used in it. Blood everywhere and it was hard to pinpoint where the dried ended and the fresh began. She remained a perfect portrait of still-life, too beautiful in her peaceful sleep that I could only imagine would be eternal.

We were too late to save her to begin with.

His sadistic laughter seemed to echo inside my brain again and again in a multitude of hellish undecipherable noise. Chalk dust floated visibly because of the light coming across the window. I could not move once again. Insanity rose. One more person died because of me. As I saw Reikoku-sensei’s body I remembered Kouma’s words once again: ‘What if you can’t save her?’ she said regarding Ryo, but the one needing to be saved was someone else. And I failed her. I failed them all and above that I failed myself. 

Reikoku-sensei was serious'''ly injured'''. 

My legs trembled, the knife in my hand wavered, I as a whole collapsed.

“…” 

The murderer tilted his poorly-shaven head while grinning, looking just as much as a half-Japanese Nosferatu as he did one year ago.

“Hey, you’re cross-dressing again! Is it a hobby of yours I didn’t hear of or something?” He said, regarding the time when he chased after Shiina Ryo. “Will we ever meet with you in male clothing?” 
“…” 
“What’s the matter, where are your usual snarky retorts? Cat ate your tongue? The so called ‘greatest of all liars’ can’t handle a little manslaughter?” 
“…” 
“Right, you can’t just kill another person: your little Chinese friend was kind enough to give me the information for free, along with where you were now. She must really, really hate you; can’t blame her, so do I. But to think you’d be stupid enough to tell your location to someone who feels this way about you… Is this all penance to you? You think getting killed will erase the sins you committed? How many lives do you think you ruined so far, you bloody fool? How many times do you think you need to die to make up for it?” 
“…” 
“Me, I’m a criminal: I kill for money or vengeance and it set me aside from modern society because our values differ. My victims, however, are all done with. With my methods, it usually happens while they are already buried so they have time to reflect and despair over what brought them there because I never in my whole life did it without having a reason to, although whether you’d call it a good reason or not is up to debate. They wake up with no hope and I’m sure that after the screaming and trying to claw their way out of it like in the movies they just calm down and realize their mistake. After all, what is a coffin other than a confessional you stay in for a long time?” 
“…” 
“But you, you won’t change despite knowing how bad you are. You really think you are the hero despite all you’ve done to so many; was it just me, I’d be perfectly okay with just killing you and be done with it. When it’s personal I tend to do things quicker because, you see, I don’t get paid extra. I have no illusions over the matter of what I do being evil, but to think that despite your actions you’d walk away unharmed because of your family’s influence while I, a plebeian, would rot in jail for what anyone with a brain would consider smaller penalties... this is what is wrong with this country, no, this world. I know you can be a bastard when you want to, but it was just because of your family. And no, it is not fear I have of you: I despise you as a fellow human. If the rumors are to be believed, you are the most disgusting creature in existence.” 
“…” 
“Well, I’m no hero, but since no one stepped up a scum like me has to do the job. You and your little girlfriend messed with the wrong person because I have no problem putting my life on the line just to set things right according to my standards and while I have the power, my word is the law. She ruined her life the day she crossed my path. You ruined your life the day you crossed my path. The two of you will pay and under these circumstances, I’ll give you special treatment. Be grateful.” 
“…” 
“I will dismember, no, that would be too good for you; what I’m going to do first is render your arms and legs useless surgically so you can feel them and know they are there but not be able to move them. Then I’m going to find Ryo and take the two of you to a room with only a clock covered in duct tape so you will hear it tick but never know the time, and do you know what I’ll do next? Hurt her in every way I can while you watch, and boy, you will watch all of it even if I have to shove caffeine down your throat, cut your eyelids and fill the room with mirrors so you can’t close your eyes or look away. Other than making you a cripple, I won’t lay a finger on you; I’ll give her everything I prepared for both her and for you, including acts that will put me in a different class of criminals.” 
“…” 
“Then, when I break her mind, only then I will give her the chance of killing you for her freedom: the you who watched her pain but didn’t move a finger to help her, the one who is at fault for her suffering this much for countless days. The death she would have gotten if she was alone when she messed with me would have been way cleaner if you weren’t around, and you can be sure I’ll let her know that. It is all on you.” 
“…” 

It was like every little word that flew out of his mouth was handcrafted to make me furious and bring the worst of me to the surface.

“And I win either way, as the disfigured Shiina Ryo marches towards you: if she kills herself you won’t be able to bear with the guilt, and if you are the one who is killed well, then I can just shoot her in the legs before I aim for the face. She did annoy me, so there’s absolutely no way I’ll let her walk away from this just because she cooperated: as everyone in the criminal side, I believe in reduction of penalty only when it applies to me not being behind bars. Those who were wronged know.” 
“…” 

Letting him talk as I recovered from the shock was a good idea. In a few seconds I would get up and end this once and for all. He couldn’t match me in close combat, especially with The Darkest on me. The environment was favorable. He didn’t bring a gun or such, while I had a room full of weapons even if you ignore Ayaka’s knife. The chairs, the chalk, the floor, the desks, the windows, the curtains, the wood corners, the walls, Megumi’s golden paperclip, cell phones, hair extensions barbed wire, Reikoku’s body, my own body, The Darkest, oxygen, carbon, gravity, the world and everything in it I could reach for: humans saw most of them as objects, persons or immaterial concepts, but when I was like that they were all tools and weapons and all mine on top of that. It would not be a fight: I hated the idea of fights deep down. It would be one-sided murder and I would make it happen even if I had to use my beloved teacher’s corpse as a human-sized club to beat him to a pulp.

If the room was ‘all weapons’ there was only one target to destroy.

“I won’t let you forget it’s all because of y-” 

A brick came flying, piercing through the window and landed along with shards of glass right between Death Drive and me, intrusively coming from the side very much like a ball in a foosball table. Ironic, as I felt the game was set a long time ago.

I looked out the freshly-made hole in the glass window and saw the not-so-distant sniper hanging from a tree, raising her fist against the sky like the world’s most accomplished pitcher and I knew exactly what Megumi could do.

The unpredictable action took us both by surprise and distracted the maniac for long enough to someone I knew to come inside the room through the door, crouch by my side, run, step on a chair and then a table, kick it rather than merely jump, propel herself like a falling star and reach the killer with the speed of lightning and an unidentified object in her left hand that made my gaze go to the floor searching for the knife I dropped.

When I heard the fizz I understood why Kouma had a second phone and the violent convulsion Death Drive had when it landed on the side of his neck.

The model was unknown to me but not the concept so it was easy to recognize an electroshock weapon (also known as ‘stun gun’) disguised as a mobile device. One could argue she was not using it to its original purpose, or at least the one the fabricant claims is the ''raison d’être'' in order to avoid federal eyes: to me it was absolutely obvious she did not buy the object for self-defense. Hell, she knew martial arts well enough for that purpose; this was another weapon of hers, which concerned me even more as I wondered about the effects of electricity on the foe that was now twitching on the ground.

He had a pacemaker.

“Rest assured, Shin-tsu, I read studies on this: pacemakers don’t seem to be affected by stun guns. It amazes me how deep your personal issues go, to worry about the life of someone who performed trepanation on your beloved teacher even though you were considering sacrificing your mind in order to kill him yourself.” Reading my mind not for the first time that day, Kouma Yon looked at me and spoke carelessly. “I told you I would save you. I just didn’t tell you it would be from the killing instinct within yourself and the consequences it would have on you because of your childhood trauma.” 
“…she’s dead.” 
“No, his ability is very similar to thanatosis: it’s slightly more complicated than I am currently willing to explain but he basically feigns death as in ‘playing possum’, his or someone else’s as long as they are at touch range. Not entirely unexpected, considering his history and even his Freudian nickname. Based on animals that use the technique I can see a few possible defensive and offensive applications for it, which apparently he couldn’t. Such a waste of potential is unforgivable; what other creatures could do with that skill is left to imagination. According to you, I have absolutely none, but even I can comprehend a naturally passive-aggressive predator would benefit greatly from the possibility of being able to both mimicry and render the prey defenseless.” 
“Kouma, listen to me. She’s been out of his touch range for a moment now.” It was ridiculous how quickly I could find myself pressured rather than merely willing to get others out of denial when I didn’t have the strength to do anything for my own life. “She’s dead.” 

I felt absolutely ridiculous. The boundary of not being able to withstand the sight of murder, despite of being strong enough to incapacitate me immediately and for days on its own, could easily be overcome by the craving to save others? No, not even save; just wanting to get Kouma out of denial was enough, but it shouldn’t be. Was this what my late teacher was talking about, on the whole Messiah complex topic? Morals, traumas and stigmas could be just thrown away amidst the worst conflict to avoid having someone get hurt on a much smaller scale than I was?

At some point I became everyone’s peon.

“She’ll wake up. Poison dripping off the small needles that he materialized on his fingertips is how he did it, which is more realistic and understandable than applying hallucinatory effects to a paper card. It should be off her system soon so don-” Kouma’s speech was interrupted by a single cry from the woman I assumed was dead, followed by feverish shivering that worried me greatly because the screw was still inside her head and could damage her further if she moved too much. The kung fu fighting fashionista just looked at my teacher who stopped altogether to move but still breathed loudly enough to reassure me of the fact she remained alive. “There we go. That should stir up anyone nearby so we can count on some more police and hospital calls, which shall be beneficial to us.” 

Death Drive started getting up.

“Ju…just who are you?” 
“I see you know Shin-tsu and Ryo, but we haven’t been introduced yet: within my boundary I am the god of possibilities.” Her eyes were expressionless but at that moment she emanated a force so overwhelming I felt my legs shake. Kouma really was something else. “My name is Kouma Yon and more important than Kung Fu, I know Psychology.” 
“And who cares? You got in my way too, so you’re dead no-” 
“I also know you are trying to bait KEN into killing you over what, soon after doing it, he’d realize out was nothing. The moment when this ability of yours becomes no more a disability has come, for unlike the other times you used it to coerce someone into something the third element knows how the magician’s hat trick works. This was meant to be a masterpiece, wasn’t it? To fool the lying demon who caught you in a way he could never get back at you even if there was a way he would recover from needlessly killing a human being once more. A sick joke funny only to yourself, right? You could not expect anyone to see through this, right? But now he knows too much for it to work. He might not be able to see the whole picture but he won’t kill you now and that’s all you wanted of him in the end. Even I have a considerably bigger chance of getting killed by him right now than you do.” 
“…how do you know all that?” 

She took a deep breath.

“Well planned time travel and analytic skills alone. You could have done it: you actually made it the first time and it got him insane just like you wanted to. In the first timeline, he almost killed me after going berserk and that was how I learned about my own power. You were going to win against him but you didn’t. You lost once again: your will is meaningless because like I said, I am god within these boundaries. Fighting me is futile, I will defeat you every time and cheat whenever you get close to win. Every movement and idea of yours are mine. So try me. Come at me if you think you’re fast enough to attack before I travel back in time once again with the information of the precise kind of blow you will try to land or cunning trick you’ll play, other than how to get to it by triggering all the right flags once again. At this point, I am invincible. You think you’re going to mess up with the mind of my favorite test subject?” Kouma Yon gave him her grimmest grin. “Not on my watch.” 

Death Drive was stunned and he was not the only one.

“You… you little piece of… you ruined everything, goddamn bi-GAAARGH” 

Just like that, Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier, also known by the self-imposed nickname of Death Drive, died of a heart attack in front of our eyes. Which was ridiculous and ironic but also definitive and undeniable.

Therefore I crashed for good.

In a moment that could easily have lasted forever in my altered perception I stood there not doing a thing until Kouma set my body in movement forcefully. She slapped me across the face so fast I took a moment to comprehend what exactly had happened and as I fell to the floor she ran back to Reikoku-sensei’s side in order to provide her primary care.

Her attention did not waver as she lectured me.

“Cut it out. You cannot blame yourself for this: it’s not your fault that he followed you here and attacked us, and it’s not your fault he died. You didn’t do this. However, if you waste our chance of saving this woman because of that trauma of yours instead of manning up and taking care of an innocent person who has done nothing but try and reach out for you when you were down, in my eyes and yours you will be a murderer.” Kouma Yon finally managed to stop or at least limit the hemorrhage a good 4 seconds after she was done talking. Her eyes were serious and tender simultaneously, raw and alive as an animal’s; whether it was my altered perception or her own growth, I couldn’t tell. “So don’t give in, Shin-tsu. Stay with me. I need you.” 

And there it was: the line before the bass drop, the growl before the breakdown. A conman’s hook.

I bit and licked my inferior lip hurting it once more and felt the taste of blood acting not for the first time as a reality check for me.

“…tell me what I have to do next.” 

Kouma’s confusion didn’t show in her face but in her taking five seconds to give me a reply.

“I beg your pardon?” 
“You need me to do what? You’re talking to me in simpler terms like you learned to do to connect with me whenever you want me to do something for you, whether it’s answering questions about my psyche or morals or something else. I don’t care whether I’m an experiment to you at this point, just tell me what you want or leave me alone.” 
“This isn’t about you.” 
“I said I don’t care about your excuses right now, save them. You saw a void I can fill somewhere and now you want me to get up and fix something for you. Spill it.” 

I grabbed Ayaka’s knife and got up.

“I never meant to hurt you.” 
“Doesn’t matter; just tell me what I have to do.” 

Walking towards the girl enveloped by the newborn sunset that came through the crack she made in the glass.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” 
“Tell me what you want.” 

When she looked me with her once again cold eyes I clenched my fist tighter on the weapon’s handle by reflex.

“I really love you.” 

The last straw she needed to pull.

“Say that one more time and I’ll kill myself in front of your eyes. I’m tired of being told that and then be left alone: no more. Is this what you wanted from the start? Was this part of your plan, you godforsaken beast? Because if yes, go on, I dare you. Hell, I want you to do it. I’m right on the edge here. It’s all on you, girl.” Knife against my throat, my breathing so hard I felt my chest tremble as air moved and emptied my lungs like life was already leaving me every second. I trembled like I was falling apart and was bound to cut myself deep even before she had the time to say anything if I kept unstable like that. “Say it, I beg of you. Give me one last reason. End me.” 

Patiently I waited for her to give me my final command.

“I’m sorry.” 
“…” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m sorry you feel this way.” 
“But not for acting the way you did, do or will do. Which implies you honestly believe you are not in the wrong. And I know you for a fact don’t care about good or evil, but rather about but concepts. Damn.” Gently as I could I lowered the weapon to waist level. The time for my melodramatic act was over as I assured the fashionista was still the creature I thought her to be. It made me aware it was serious business we were dealing with or she would not have gone so far, as it would be too bothersome to do so for the world’s laziest multi-talented being. "Sometimes, just sometimes, I really hate you, Kouma Yon.” 
“Thankfully, just sometimes. I can live with that in mind, like I shall do regarding the fact you would have done it if I said ‘it’ again yet won’t do it now just because I just ruined the moment for you. Double subversion would feel less gratifying to you.” 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“For such a long-time liar, sometimes it feels like you’re not even putting enough effort in it. You too are a disappointment.” 
“Did you learn my craft yet? My so-called ‘art’?” 
“There is no such thing as ‘art’, just ‘art admirers’. And yes.” She nodded as if words were not enough to express the depth of comprehension she achieved. “You can stop pretending you’re not shaken up inside now.” 
“Thank you.” My hands finally dropped the knife. 

I knew I was way too mentally exhausted to make decisions when it got to the point I considered relying on Kouma Yon of all creatures as a moral compass. But when life gives you lemons and they are deathly sour…

“No need to play that role in front of you, good.” The stern look on her face showed no approval, however. “As the few paramedics tried to save me in the first timeline, just before I lost consciousness, I heard a report about the situation on an exploded inter-city bus through their radios: it was supposed to happen around 5 minutes from now, and there were heavy suspicions of terrorism. We won’t get the attention and primary care we need if this happens, and the lack of media coverage for this story might lead to further questioning too. I need you to stop the bomber on the inter-city bus while I focus on keeping Reikoku-sensei alive and setting up the scene to make this look like an isolated incident: having you around could ruin the latter up too.” 

Then it hit me.

“You were going to just let those people die if we managed to stop Death Drive before he caught Reikoku-sensei.” 
“Not now, Shin-tsu. I have priorities and so should you.” 

More lives at stake and now that I knew about it, it was on me. She set me up real good, she did not know for sure I would not be able to reject it yet she bet all her chips on me going out and doing it. I hated myself for not being able to prove whatever unrealistic expectations she had of me wrong, for not being capable to let her down.

Still, I ran.

Fast as I could I advanced, much faster than I could before the Shugoshin was in me but it did not feel fast enough to me: no matter how much I tried, I no longer could bend space and time on command. The Darkest did not need to explain it to me, as I realized how give-and-take the situation was on my own; in exchange for more power I sacrificed potential and there was no easy way to change it back again.

As I ran towards the great fence that separated the eastern area from outer buildings I recognized something that made me stop for a while. Near a small, cabin-like janitor room, there were cameras were different than the ones you saw at schools and hospitals and much more akin to the ones you’d see in secret spy movies: that model was activated by heat, so I could use my skill to pass through unnoticed if I used that area, which would help in case I needed an alibi in the future for I could just say I was still at school while some sort of disaster happened, that is, if I failed.

Awfully convenient, except it was a nightmare in disguise of saving throw.

Pondering over all I knew regarding Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan, it was obvious where she stored that dreadful item of hers. I wanted to scream at myself and say it could not be, but it was just too likely to deny it no matter how high were the regards I had her in. To even consider she’d possibly keep something like that near her students made me severely nauseous; I was actually glad I had only found out about it because otherwise chances were I would have doubts about going so far for the sake of saving her life.

When I found myself standing up on the top of wall close enough to reach the one pertaining to the next building I got my body ready for jumping higher and climbing because for once during that day I knew exactly what I needed to do to reach my goal.

I was going for ''Parkour'', the art of not just moving around obstacles but use them to your benefit for maximum efficiency. Critical thinking was a must. A wall was not there to block my way, just to be my stepping stone: it was all terrain, a world made purely of it. No more limits: it was time for me to stop thinking of common, linear paths to walk in and start running in vectors.

“''Traceur'', on.” 

A jump into nothingness that ended abruptly when my fingertips touched the walls and from that moment on I was one with everything; a single layer of the flames enveloping my hands and foot, so thin it was not much more than pitch black contour wavering like ink but never leaving for real. It made me feel like I was moving on vacuum, which was probably not far from the truth.

By both using it and deactivating it I alternatively propelled and glued myself on the terrain composed of all things over the houses and buildings of that developing town. At the apex of the nearby constructions of concrete picking the ones closer to touch the skies in altitude in order to avoid being seen I moved but instead of feeling as a hunter I was free like an unparalleled, unleashed beast albeit constrained by the time limit: I was simultaneously carefree and worried sick; I loved being alive and I hated myself; I was a being and I was not.

During that moment I got the same impression I had during the fight against Ryo’s Shugoshin, that it all had been preparation for this. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling quite a lot… every little thing feels like build-up to something else, and it’s supposed to be huge.

Very much like the strength of the wind blowing my skirt.

== Part 4 ==

My heart could not decide if it wanted to race or stop fully as the bus was doing in order to pick up more passengers.

Breathe.

The bus was more crowded than I assumed it would be due to it not being a weekday and all, but I guess even in smaller cities people go around and have fun. They didn't consider the risk of being inside a vehicle that would blow up and kill them all due to a sudden terrorist attack; not everyone is like Akane.

Looking at the window I watched both the inside and outside of the car for movement while the back door released a bickering couple who would probably get closer if they realized they averted a disaster if I failed to stop the bomber and the front door welcomed anyone who would walk in join those who died in the first timeline and were still at risk in this one.

Of those waiting for a bus I saw some making room for a soon-to-be passenger and the moment I heard the door close I knew there was no coming back.

Breathe.

I recognized the only person who got in the bus within milliseconds despite the trucker hat, jeans jacket and hiker backpack (which I could only assume was her definition of discrete disguise) because it was the one who hated me the most. Lang Shou seemed considerably more than just slightly distressed when she saw me looking at her while dressed in drag. I too was shaken up inside as it was the usual whenever I saw her, which I hadn’t in a while.

Her right eye twitched.

“Pervert!” 

She said in Cantonese, and if I knew her it was probably only to scan if there were any speakers of the language in the bus; if that was the case, they’d probably just start screaming or tackle me. Yes, because of that and not because I was cross-dressing on a bus.

Nothing happened, so I did the obvious.

“Pervert!” I replied to her enthusiastically as if the word was a greeting, and then thought about what addendum in Japanese I’d have to put together with that to make it convincing enough. “It’s nice to see you again, Lang Shou.” 

While her face was clearly a painting of annoyance, the fact she sit down by my side when there were other free places in the bus finished the job of reassuring the passengers that we were the right sort of acquaintances.

Even though we were not.

“…how did you know?” 
“I have my sources. You seem to be everyone else’s.” 

On usual situations I would not be so harsh with her but I was seriously ticked off by the result of her actions.

“There’s nothing wrong with that I do, just means to an end.” 

Irresponsible brat.

“I hope you meant Death Drive’s, because your plan only led to him passing away.” 
“Wouldn’t expect less of you.” Did my best to keep myself from showing emotions when she said that, can’t tell if I succeeded. “But I guess he was pretty useless, failing like that despite being a little more than mildly famous.” 
“You really don’t know anything about this business: an assassin’s job is to be concealed, so whenever someone’s name is out there for people like you to hear it means he might be a good killer but a lousy professional.” 

Scorn was shining clear as day on her face.

“You’d know, wouldn’t you? Murderer.” 
“…” 

There wasn’t much I could say in reply to that.

“What’s the matter, murderer? Is it bad that I call you that, murderer?” 
“…stop.” 
“Or what, will you kill me too?” 
“…” 
“Oh, the little murderer got depressed, boo hoo.” It was not a very big step, from tomboy to bully. “Don’t give me those sad puppy eyes. Even now, you still look like a Shih Tzu dog.” 

Oh, this sure brings back memories: so that’s where I got the nickname from, then. Not that I’ll ever correct the mistake, would be kind of embarrassing after all. I’ll remain using the ‘Shin-tsu, out of two of the same kanji’ excuse. Better than letting it be known so Kouma can refer to me as ‘Puppy-kun’.

I had more urgent topics to address, too.

“So at the end of the day you’d kill yourself to divert the paramedics’ attention but not explode now that you’re here with me? When you could hurt me and me alone?” 
“Hurt you? By killing you? Even now you try to trick me, you lying demon? I know very well that would be bliss, especially compared to what you did to me. You don’t deserve that: I’ll take it out on the ones near you until you are a walking pile of nerves surrounded by corpses you watched growing cold. I will break your mind and heart and I won’t lay a finger on you to kill because I want you to do it yourself to atone for what you did. It will never be enough, the suffering. Whatever you build, I’ll crush it. Forever and always, until you finish what you started and kill me or decide to suicide. Just be aware of this: as long as I am alive you don’t get to live a happy life after what you’ve done, and I’ll make sure of that.” 

That was when I approached her, hugged her tight and released hot breath down her neck to make her shiver, with a superior level of success than I expected to achieve. It was obvious to me she was almost melting as experience dictated. Good to know some things never change.

I held her hand and rested my forehead against hers, looking the girl in the eyes.

“Lang Shou, I am sorry. I can’t take back what I did and God knows I would if I could but you need to realize you won’t gain anything from doing this. This isn’t you, so stop while you can. Please. I don’t want you to suffer a second longer.” My hands ran down her backpack but still delivered the pressure to her body like I wanted them to. Her shivers were strong enough to make me wonder if I had done something to give her a seizure. “I care about you. Either go back to China to your parents or stay here with me; things are never going to be the same, but I can give you a place you can call ‘home’. I am still your friend.” 

Furious, she pushed me away, slapped me and got up but didn’t leave before delivering a dramatic one-liner.

“I hate you.” 

Not surprised: it was the second time I heard that one on that day and she made sure to say it in Japanese before storming off the bus the moment it stopped, but at the very least I did not end up receiving the mother of all beatings from a visually warped version of her in dreamland. Either way, I already had gotten what I needed to.

Personally, I hated pickpocketing. It wasn’t as thrilling as some might assume it could be, because it was more a case of ‘either you know the trick or not’; no room for cunning talk or similar when it comes to the actual thing, just before and after and it kind of beat the point of going unnoticed. It was no fun but as any adult can tell you, life is not always doing what you like to do.

So I stole both the bomb and the detonator from her backpack and now I had to disassemble the bomb before she could realize I did it because she could notice they were missing and try to meet me on the next stop.

Frankly, that was the easier part of the day: Lang Shou was an amateur whose only talent seemed to be getting into trouble still. Her bomb was pretty crude looking (which helped me because anyone who saw it would dismiss it as a toy and not panic) and was built quite poorly on top of that. The detonator was short distance-only and unrelated to the bomb, which would go off around two stops from where she dropped, so one possibility is that she would have tried to blow somewhere else up just in case if I hadn’t been a dirty thief and taken both the red herring detonator and the silly-looking bomb. I have to grant her that she did better than usual in that particular aspect but I could only guess whether it was because she wanted to go down along with everyone or the limit of her design and engineering skills: for all I knew she coulf have mixed two projects she got in books up.

Upon the realization I wasn’t even followed back home I felt lie I could no longer hide my disappointment and let the post-traumatic stress kick in. I wanted to feel despair and rage and get the overwhelming, exhilerating depression out of my mind even if it meant crying and throwing up for days until I got hallucinations due to the deprivation of water and nutrients. I needed to scream at the heart of the world because I could tell I had it in me.

It never came despite the copious amounts of build-up.

Like every single thing that ever happened, the events of that day were ‘proven’ anti-climatic and dull when the hindsight bias was applied; the Historian’s Fallacy made everything obvious and absolutely ridiculous to say the least, and to pinpoint the truth by hypothesizing after the results were known was nearly impossible because most things aside, the simple presence of time travel in a case blurs the lines between cause and effect beyond recognition. Still, one could say that above ‘good’ or ‘bad’, Kouma did ‘right’: the definition of the latter being up to debate. Now, Lang Shou…

...she killed me inside a little more.

It was like a bad joke; to think someone so incapable and inexperienced was willing to try and cause so much damage to so many over nothing, or at the very least nothing that had to do anything with them.

It was a bad joke because it was the exact same with me.

The news reports a week from that day were still all about how a high school girl from a small-to-medium sized town saved her teacher’s life using only a mobile phone with internet access and a handbag’s contents, and it didn’t take them long to dig her up and realize she was the same child prodigy who won some art prizes a few years ago. Instant sub-celebrity; blogs spawned; people would talk to her whenever she walked down the street.

The biggest hospital in the nearby city, where Reikoku-sensei was immediately admitted to and is being kept until she wakes up from her comatose state, even offered Kouma a fully paid scholarship on a college above average and future internship may she choose Medicine as her career. I immediately assumed she was going to accept it for all the wrong reasons, and I could not blame her for that because I could easily see myself doing the same.

That maiden was too a knight and she was 『Ryo’s』. 

== Part 5 ==

“Come in.” 
“Excuse me.” I said, dodging something on the ground that was probably an elaborate trap her cat assembled to keep strangers out. 

As soon as I entered Ryo’s apartment the realization dawned on me; before seeing the image with my own eyes it sounded just like a story from a TV show or a book. It was too surreal for me to accept it as a fact at once, even to someone who is used to the unusual such as me. Still, one could easily tell just from seeing the way the place was a complete mess Ryo’s story matched the environment.

Shiina Ryo’s mother left her house.

The reasons are irrelevant to me because whether it was depression or something else the fact her daughter was left behind remains unchanged. I should not judge without having all information on a subject, but it’s pretty obvious to me it was a mistake and so should be to anyone with a drop of common sense.

You don’t walk away on your teenage daughter.

People her… our age are not expected to live by themselves with no support, in good medical condition or not. Even with the exceptionally good amount of money my family deposits every two weeks I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be okay if I didn’t have the support of Reikoku-sensei, Kouma and Ryo. It takes more than financial stability to make a stable person.

From a mathematician’s point of view it might sound unreasonable but there is another factor, something else we need to function other than the strictly necessary physical resources; I’m not sure if it’s human contact or anything like that, but I’m aware of the fact I wouldn’t be able to live a complete life without their support. Then again, maybe I’m wrong and too young to deal with those matters right now. My best friend is living a situation similar in theory yet completely different in intensity.

I am fully aware of the fact I am not, however, old and numb by apathy enough to be able to ignore the painful silence in this house and just live my life as if it wasn’t my problem.

Both out of curiosity and concern I opened her refrigerator to find only half-empty bottles of water, a piece of fruit so old I cannot recognize which kind and cups of cheap instant ramen, which I presumed to have been her primary meal for the time she lived alone. My heart ached just from imagining Ryo working late on the nearby town to pay the bills her irresponsible mother (and that’s not judging but stating a fact) left for her along with the ones that would come every month, and then coming home to eat an unhealthy, poor excuse for a meal and sleep for a few instants before getting up to diligently go to school in order to avoid suspicious looks from people who love to gossip. With her health as it was she certainly could not afford to have such a routine.

At that moment I realized there are many people in the same situation as hers out there and a lot of people living under much worse conditions, yet what pains me the most is to find out there was someone so close to me living like that while I was completely unaware.

Some could see this as a very strong attribute of hers, to try and go this far without anyone’s help: I think that was selfish of her.

But who am I to blame her for not asking for help? I probably wasn’t even around when this started and even if she told this to Kouma Yon, chances are Kouma’s mother would have just reported this to Child Services or something like that because that is what a responsible law-abiding person should do, technically flawless but the results in practice are not the same you’d expect by following the theory, often much darker instead. Not only that: when I had my own problem in the past my first reaction was running away despite the fact Ryo was the first person I saw right after the whole thing happened so I don’t think I can easily be considered reliable and centered. She was probably too scared to even think, without anyone to help her.

In the end, aren’t we all?

“Shin-tsu, could you come here?” She said, in a low voice that could barely be heard reverberating in the apartment. “I think I’ve got everything I nee-” 

But her sentence was cut due to shock but the apparently fated silence was avoided by the fall of the box she had been holding onto, and it was definitely my fault. The reason for that reflex was my sudden movement in her direction and the subsequent action, holding her in my arms as what I imagine to a father embracing his children after they got hurt. Perhaps the strength I used was a little bit more than I intended, possibly because she was not the only one with parental issues.

“It’s okay, Ryo. You can let it out now. I'm here.” 

I expected and almost wished her to say one of her extremely long speeches full of data or have a retort that was both witty and innocent but her reply was awfully short, almost minimalist.

“…thank you.” 

And then she cried in a rather loud, impolite and tangibly honest manner for a while.

Later when Shiina Ryo decided she had cried enough to be able to stand it, Akane’s mother was sensible and drove us around without making many, if any questions. The path travelled by the van seemed not only melancholic but empty as if the only thing in the world who felt like talking was the delivery car’s motor that resonated soundly and accentuated the shades of grey present in every street.

When we were carrying the final boxes to my place I was approached by our hippie driver, who not as much as offered but forced me to accept a certain amount of cash out of her eco-friendly wallet I was pretty sure she could not simply spare. I tried again and again to say we would be fine because I had some extra money, but she made me take it out of kindness and care. Few would be able to go that far to help strangers these days, regardless of their beliefs and views of the world.

It was definitely not a question of trust, because she trusted us enough to give us money she worked hard to make but not enough to believe me when I said we had the financial situation under control. Sure, sometimes it’s hard to ask for help or even accept the kindness of semi-strangers.

Perhaps I am being biased as Kouma said I was once again, but her individual altruistic action made me consider a hypothesis I have long ignored: perhaps there is a chance mankind still has hope. I might be wrong and believing that might be a mistake, but that is a privilege the young are given.

Like this thing I’m doing.

Bringing a female friend to live with me might be a mistake, both of us being pretty broken as human beings, young and not having an adult to look after us in the house. Still, even if it turns out to be an error in the long run, I have to do it now and probably won’t regret a thing.

Not out of gratitude or romantic feelings but out of something I could not yet define and probably never will. There are things better off unnamed and unspoken.

…no, it’s too late for that.

Overlooking things on purpose and at command is an acquired skill used mostly to avoid red herrings and mind control. My version of it has saved my life a few times and probably got into someone else’s path many others. To live through life as if only my life matters and seeing others as either obstacles or peons is not the prettiest way of seeing this world but I’m sure there are worse ways. Not that it justifies every ugly action I might make to achieve what I wish for, but then again I never claimed to be a good or bad guy.

Thus I will help her out of egoism.

Because making her happy makes me happy, because knowing she suffers hurts me, because comforting her when she is sad soothes my heart as well. More than relate to, she understands me and vice-versa. I don’t even regret coming here, despite all the trouble we have been put through so far, because deep down I know I like the way Ryo and the others make me feel in general.

Thus, I will keep acting so their reactions will bounce back hard enough to generate reactions in me too. One way to look at this situation is to believe that’s how human relationships do work and thus I am not being wrong or a bad, just seeing this whole thing the wrong way because of my wicked, broken and rather cynical view of life, byproduct of years of inconstancy.

There is no way for me to see it like everything is so black-and-white simple; I am just not that optimistic.

Love, in any form, is a flawed concept in my opinion so I say let’s leave it at egoism, and at least for now my word is final; not because I can’t feel any love, but merely because I cannot bring myself to believe in it so easily. Not to say I deny its existence, but I can’t just believe it like you can’t trust a travelling vendor with magical beans smiling his face off. But then again, who’s to tell? Maybe it is an honest fellow...

I'm more than quick to run away but not one to know when to stay, thus I shall learn to balance between those two or get caught in another net. As long as I rely on others to save me things will never be okay, so I’ll let Time test Love and tell me the results before I make any deals I might regret.

== Part 6 ==

Obligatory time skip.

Every day I went to the hospital to visit Reikoku-sensei, hold her hand and read her the news or a novel even though the doctors told me, half-heartedly for it wasn’t in them to crush a highschooler’s apparent idealism, that her brain was far from operational at that point and it was very unlikely that she could receive any of the information, let alone recover.

The nurses were a lot nicer to me after it was clear I wasn’t romantically involved with her or anything, thinking I was some sort of angel-like student and I could see them tearing up whenever I gave them a bittersweet smile after a whole afternoon and twilight of being there and leaving for another inter-cities travel.

Sadly I felt a great amount of guilt despite knowing she was ready for an outcome even worse than this. It was my purgatory, to watch her alone. On a particular day, however, I went there with company. The three scheming students whose Pyrrhic victory resulted in her vegetative state: Kouma, the derivative polymath; Ryo, the splitting designer; and me, the vague executor.

Anomie, ambiguity and ambivalence sitting in a hospital room.

Without us asking like the last time she went out to buy us something, Kouma left with the promise of bringing three coffee cans. Instead of talking to Ryo immediately, I knew better than to trust the fashionista to just leave us alone.

My instincts were right.

I caught Kouma looking at us by using the many pieces of metal and glass present in the hospital as mirrors like Akane did and then something became painfully obvious to me. The reason why it was possible Kouma Yon would able to save me by moving her mind back in time just once without her lack of presence in the second timeline at the places she was in the first affecting the outcome, against all odds that exist in such a scenario is so simple and bland my mind just ignored automatically. A bias of mine.

She knew every little thing and every single move I’d make because she watched me from very close.

All.

<center>The.</center>

 Time. 

Honestly, I did not know what I should do in the light of such evidence and the reason was simple.

It was a lie of hers; whenever a con tells you it’s all over, doubt.

Kouma saying it was the first time she travelled back in time was absurd. No matter how good she was, she simply could not do it properly the first time. Not to that extent, no sir, she couldn’t. I knew she couldn’t create anything from scratch, so how could she come up with a plan like that in one day when it was hard to believe she would be able to do in a lifetime? Wasn’t it safe to assume her absolute lack of creativity was what got her ‘stuck’ with Ryo in the first place, too? The only logical explanation I could see was that her plan was a combination of several she has seen through the several timelines she has been in while searching for the best possible outcome.

Considering how things turned out, it wouldn’t surprise me in any way if even the flaws in the plan, in making me take the lead by telling me I shouldn’t, in having Reikoku-sensei harmed even were all just a well-done mix-and-match game for her. If the latter was true, the hypocrisy in having her there in the hospital room would be overwhelming and I was prone to reacting with violence...

…unless there was a good explanation to go so far as putting our teacher into a coma. After all, assuming she has gone several times back in time and this is the best scenario it goes without saying that for some reason the other ones must have been, at the very least in Kouma’s point of view, worse outcomes. She did see herself as a limited god beyond morals, so it was not much of a stretch, to assume she'd deliver a simultaneously preemptive and retroactive sentence as an all-knowing judge with the power to stop tragedies. What I needed to know was whether a tragedy for Kouma Yon was the same as a tragedy for all of us or if I was within range of a powerful enemy.

Either way I had a sure mode of testing it once and for all.

“Kouma, Ryo. Listen.” I said, going in for the kill; the stakes were high enough to ruin all that had been building up but I just wasn’t done with the game yet. “I have to tell you guys about Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan.” 

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The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin

2012-04-30T20:45:58Z

Ryuno:

== Part 1 ==

After a month and a dark and really stormy night came the Festival, along with anxiety and stress. Specifically because of the ‘stormy’ part. 

We needed our synthesizer backing tracks because, well, not one of us could play keys and especially not while playing any of our primary instruments. Still, the programmed lines added a lot to the intricate quality of the music and it would be very detrimental for us if we had to perform live without them, especially because that’s how the songs were recorded on our EP which would be launched after the show but was already in our respective playlists for the past two weeks. 

The files got really heavy on the CPU and to export them the first time for the EP was hell, but having to do it again just for the synthesized tracks would not be much better. The reason why everything was because we, instead of doing it track by track, decided to arrange it in the way we would perform it in the set, one after the other. Therefore we assumed it would be okay to leave the computer on for the 12 estimated hours exporting the file. 

It wasn’t. 

The storm was strong enough to bring three fast intercalated blackouts. We were all at our homes when it happened which resulted in a lot of texting going on, but we all hoped that despite the obvious reset and having to restart the process all over again in the morning, the medium-priced No-break would take most of the damage and leave the computer with the project files unharmed. 

It didn’t. 

Now Megumi was gone, as she stormed out the door saying ‘I have a plan’, Akane was sulking, Rin was angry at the school, at the electric company and the heavens. I did my best to keep them together and functioning, and to some extent, succeeded in it. Most of our EP work was dead for good but we still had the mixed and mastered files on our mobile phones, personal computers and music players and also on the server of the Finnish audio engineer we hired; maybe we couldn’t post stems of it so it could ever be reworked it in the future and the live performance would sound really empty compared to the recording but it wasn’t the end of the world. 

It was actually a good story for the future. 

Megumi came back one and a half hour later with a loop pedal so we record sections of audio and play the loops by just stomping on it, which would help us give the songs more body because we could just record the parts that before belonged to synthesizers with the guitars, regaining some of the ambience we achieved on the EP. The rainbow girl said she borrowed from a friend, but I managed to see the pawn shop ticket before she could hide it and I knew very well she had only one personal possession she could trade for this. 

Her acoustic guitar. 

I called Rin for a private talk so I could provide her that information and she agreed, even though that involved telling her father about the whole band thing, to get Megumi’s guitar back immediately. We came back to the room and started working on rearranging and tracking the loops for the best performance we could bring with those limited resources and were surprised by how, with some effects, it sounded much less cluttered and alive this way. 

And then, when we were done celebrating, Rin proclaimed something that made me snap. 

“I want you all to give your very best tonight. It shall be Saris’ first and last performance, after all.” 

The shock made me sure my hearing comprehension had failed for a moment. 

“Wait, what?” 
“Surely you heard correctly, Shin-tsu.” She spoke in monotone. “This band will be over as of the end of ''Ars Finita''.” 

The other members made no objections and it only made me angrier. It was obvious, they all knew this was coming. 

“…why are you doing this?” Frustration building up. “I thought you guys enjoyed this as much as I do!” 
“We do.” Said Akane in a surprisingly audible voice. 

Megumi faced the ground and started talking. 

“These have been the happiest days of our lives too, Shin-tsu.” 
“Then why?” 
“Because these days will not last.” 

Fury took over me when I heard Rin utter that. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 
“I am graduating soon and you cannot possibly expect me to live this rebellious ephemeral dream for much longer, especially as an adult. My family and its company will need me someday soon and playing technical music will not get me ready for this responsibility, so there’s a huge chance I will move soon to study abroad. I am terribly sorry if I led you all on, but then again I was fooling myself too.” She took a melancholic pause. “And even if you keep this without me it’s only a matter of time before something similar happens, albeit different in scale, to Akane and Megumi, who are older than you and going to graduate next year.” 
“But that doesn’t mean everything should just end! You guys are overreacting!” 
“Yes, but what would come next, then? Playing occasional gigs on bars while settling for part-time jobs you believe are ‘temporary’, becoming the casuals you all deep down loathe so much until you do not have time or interest to rehearse or talk to each other anymore? Perhaps trying to be a full time band but failing miserably for years because your style of music simply does not sell, and then realizing you wasted years that could have been used with self-improvement and studies in order to have an actual career like everyone we went to high school with and their little brothers? Or selling out and hating yourselves every single day for not being able to succeed by playing fair and doing what everything you are able to? Even the best case scenario for us is to somehow go major with our own music style but eventually degenerating into predictable, uninteresting trash as the time went by.” 
“And your alternative is to kill the unborn, to give up while we’re ahead? That’s the coward way out!” 

One bar pause. 

“The soldiers who die at war are seen as brave by some, but in my opinion they were just as scared as the others who managed to come back. There is no glory in failure.” Rin was once again sharply calm, the most infuriating sight possible to me at that moment. “My alternative is to let this be what it really is: a rebellious ephemeral dream that will end up exactly as good as it started specifically because it ended shortly after it started, without having the time to become a flawed execution of the initial concept. Something we can be proud of and share the longing of it till the day we die: a band made of never-ending nostalgia for us to dream about.” 

That was the last straw for me but when I looked around and saw my other two band mates were showing no signs of resistance as I did to Rin’s ideas and views on morals I felt like I was the only one trying to save a sinking boat. Unfortunately, no matter what I said, I could not fully disagree with them. We all took music too seriously and ourselves to let it slide to the status of a hobby but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, which would be already hard considering the kind of music we played. 

“So, is this it? You’re all quitting on us? This was supposed to be influential and huge! Are you telling me we wasted time and effort on this just so we could self-produce an EP and make a single live performance? Have you all gone insane?” 

They all looked disappointed, but I couldn’t tell if they felt this way about me or themselves. This kind of drama was less the end of a band and akin to a bad breakup. 

“That is a conceptual mistake: it is never ‘time wasted’ if you enjoy wasting it, Shin-tsu. I too fell in love with this project but I cannot afford to remain like that any longer if that is going to be in my way, and ultimately neither could you. This would only hinder us: no matter how much potential they have, high school bands never last long.” She looked into my eyes and for one moment I assumed Rin would break down too. “One can see this is not only about the band for you, but either way you will have at some point in life to learn to let things go.” 

My mask and inner layers were directly hit and broken at that point. Was this what it was all about, letting things go? Why was it easy to everyone but me to just accept it as a memory, to sacrifice important things for something that wouldn’t last? Were they all idiots? 

“…but how can I?” No longer in control of myself and without the strength to lie all that was left for me was to join them as an spectator of my own monologue and be mortified by the truth that came out of my mouth, a truth I never wanted to admit. Regardless of my past experiences I still became attached to this, too much in fact. It was good, to finally feel like I was part of a group. “I thought I was too numb, too devoid of emotions to really care about anything. I’ve been losing since I can remember so I should be used to it by now, right? But it just keeps happening to me over and over again and it never gets any easier than this. How can I let the only thing I truly believed wouldn’t end on me simply vanish like this?” 

Not my friends. Not my family. Not Ryo. 

People have forsaken me so many times I cannot help but expect a relationship will end before it even starts, regardless of its intensity. Is it because of that? Is that the reason why the one thing I felt so honestly attached to is not a person but an abstract, juvenile concept such as a ‘band’? Is having nothing I can truly call ‘mine’ the reason why I cannot afford to lose anything? 

…just how broken am I? 

As I pondered warmness surrounded me all of a sudden and I didn’t need to open my eyes to confirm I was in the center of a group hug. 

“By keeping the bittersweet aftertaste on your mouth as a memento, obviously.” 

Knowing that I wasn’t the only one needing that, I decided to let the whole thing happen a little longer before making any significant movement. 

“…let’s do this.” I said when the time was right. 

Everything from that point on was on blurry flash-forward and the only moment I do recall was furiously growling the title of the first song in the set sharing a microphone with Koukina Rin. 

“WE ARE THE BLEEDING DARK!” 

== Part 2 ==

We got off the stage less than an hour later and moved our bodies slowly to the backstage, without saying a thing before the door was closed and locked. Our band leader then broke the silence with remarkable lack of composure. 

“Well, that sucked.” 

In face of such a statement we could do nothing but follow her in the routine. 

“I made so many mistakes I could as well have played other songs.” 
“My blast beat was alright but coming back to the groove parts was harder than it should be.”
“The crowd was almost ''blasé'' and we probably left a bigger impression by having the School Council president in our band than because of our music. They didn’t even ask for an encore, the uncultured swine.” 

A brief moment of silence was followed by spontaneous yet somehow perfectly synchronized laughter.

“I’m going to miss this so much.” 
“You definitely are not the one.” 
“Me too.” 

When it was her turn Akane just nodded and I could tell it was not because of shyness.

We left the improvised backstage behind and as Megumi left to get food while Akane followed like the world’s happiest shadow Rin and I met her father, who was clearly waiting for us to come out. I was ready for stern words and conflict, but it ended up being very… different.

“Certainly I do not want you to run my company, Rin.” 
“Father, I…” 

He raised his huge hand and for one moment I assumed I would be a witness of familiar violence, but instead he patted his daughter on the head and made the School Council president look fragile and young like I never seen her look.

“My greatest wish is to see you doing what you love and do best, be it music or ruling the world as a dictator. You are my only daughter and I could never force my own views of the world on you, let alone make you walk a path I chose. After all you are your own person and should not compromise your dreams because of anyone else.” His extremely deep voice was softer now and the soothing way he spoke made me feel jealous of Rin. “And I know the company I built is not what you want for yourself; that is a good thing indeed, because it is mine and I have no intention of leaving it for a long time and am willing to fight over it against any person on Earth. It seems you’re going to have to find your own business, lady. Just let me know next time, you got it? I will support you if you allow me.” 
“Daddy…” 
“It has been a while since you called me that…” 

Leaving that somewhat mushy father and daughter scene a tad too late for avoiding the puke in my mouth but still as smoothly as I could at the time, my feet guided me to the improvised backstage once more. If the man was going to reveal some detail that resembled the plot of a certain visual novel such as being the original owner of her guitar or something, I didn’t want to be there when it happened. We have enough problems as it is without facing plagiarism charges, so I walked away.

Then I met Shiina Ryo and a big, loud argument began as a prelude to the wicked happenings that were to come.

== Part 3 ==

It all started when I kissed Ryo.

This might sound a tad too personal to you, but have you ever experienced the feeling of being so connected to someone in a perfect moment you no longer know when you end and that person begins? Like there’s an electric current passing through the being once known as two individuals directly, like the point where you merge with that person is a rectifier; both are one and this one is pure energy, thoughts meaning less than the constant flow of action shared. A matter of skin, timing and chemistry where absolutely nothing else matters, be it summer rain striking two lovers or the end of the world that surrounds them.

Well, it was nothing like that. Not at all. Nope.

Instead, I felt a similar thing to when Ayaka’s Shugoshin trapped me with the white card trick. It’s no wonder I was confused at first but it became absurdly obvious when I faced the monster in the warehouse: what happened to me in class definitely wasn’t just a panic attack.

One moment I was arguing pretty bad with her over God-knows-what and on the other the school was gone. Everything around me shifted into a world of white, with no beginning or end; not the kind of blinding light you’re supposed to see at the end of the tunnel, but the misty one you’d get at walls that have been painted for more than mere months, on clouds in grey days, on office paper considerably cheaper than regular.

Definitely not what you expect even from a bad kiss.

To be alone in such a scenario made me feel like it was a dream; ‘surreal’ doesn’t begin to describe how it struck me. It was too distressing for my brain to compute at once, a dull uneasiness going through every muscle as recognition came little by little.

An outside as empty as one could be inside.

The solitude didn’t last long, for the shot of pain that exploded and sent me flying away was more than enough to let me know I was not, as a matter of fact, alone there.

“I hate you.” 

A long-haired, black and white version of Ryo that seemed to be made of paper and ink stood before me with devilish eyes set to kill and her parasol held as a sword. Didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.

“…Shugoshin.” 
“...” 

So they got her too, maybe that’s why my memories of that are so blurry.

Kouma’s words resonated in my mind: ‘What if I you can’t save her?’, indeed. Even though I played the part on occasion, I was not a hero. I was not a good guy and had one of the worst personalities of all people I have ever seen. I was useless and prone to use others, a good-for-nothing smug-faced bastard. I wouldn’t trust me to be able to save anyone’s skin but my own.
I extended my retractable umbrella to its maximum extent.

“Knight mode.” 

Obviously, if I couldn’t save Ryo I’d just fight her. If I went this far to protect her, there was no way I could just pretend it wasn’t my problem even if that option was presented to me. If I can’t try when I can lose I am not worth of winning.

So commence the last dance, I’m more than ready.

Then 'it' proved me wrong.

I shall refer to the monster as ‘it’ for I cannot see it as the same as Ryo and I. It charged with unparalleled speed and I only had the time to open my eyes wide before the series of attacks began and the makeshift sword I held was destroyed with the first. That’s when I knew my training was completely in vain.

I considered something after I watched the battle between Reikoku-sensei and that man, and this proved it: there was a varying level of strength among them especially depending on the kinds of attacks. Expecting to be able to spar or swordfight with every single one of them regardless of training was absolutely unrealistic. My speed that once looked absolute was now worthless: it hit me again and again from everywhere at all times because it moved in all directions where there was space to move, while I was bound by logic and gravity. I could feel the bruises being born near fresh lacerations and I knew the only reason why I wasn’t dead yet was because it was having the time of its life torturing me.

There were no limitations for the creature in this realm.

Absolute defeat crippled me more than it did, for I stopped trying to fight back or defend myself. Unsurprisingly it got bored and decided to finish the job after teasing a little more to see if the prey would get up one more time.

I didn’t, so it prepared the final hit.

If you don’t come back, this is how it ends. Will you? 

''…never tell me to shut up or go away again.'' 

I know your true name now. 

''Yes, you do.'' 

Am I strong enough to defeat that Shugoshin? 

''This should be obvious by now: no, you are not.'' 

Are you strong enough to defeat it on your own? 

''No, I am not.'' 

…then I suppose it's about time for me to stop fighting you. 

''You must accept the absolute truth.'' 

I accept it; I probably always did, deep down. There is no hope, the suffering and despair will never end, and it might be the worst day ever: I know I cannot afford to keep denying those statements are all the utmost truth any longer, but it is necessary to add they are also not for me. This is going to be someone else's truth, and together we sure are going to make him understand it good. 

''Because we are one.'' 

Because we are none. 

''Because if light itself is corrupted then it's time for the dark to ‘shine’.'' 

Because eventually, every single thing will fade to us. 

''And for that hideous flawed glow, the time is now.'' 

I know that much; just make sure you meet my expectations because this is going to take all of my willpower. 

''Call me.'' 

"Come forth!" I opened my eyes as pitch black flames or rather the absence of flames enveloped my body. "THE DARKEST!" 

It took a little distance because of the surprise element, but I knew it would take more than a last minute unexplained power-up to fight that monster especially considering how bad I still was. The thing is, the reason why I had that voice that knew facts that I didn’t (and could not know, such as the ovation I received in Le Ciel Bleu being a standing one or the moment Reikoku-sensei would reach my house) and was ignorant to things I did, other than the physics ignoring abilities and fast healing, was obvious in the setting.

I too was the host to a Shugoshin. 

Getting up was hard both because I had a ruined up body and information overload to deal with. All of a sudden, I knew about how my power was a ramification of the reality warping abilities I showcased before by which I limited the broadness of possibilities to increase the actual energy of the power. My wounds started healing instantly but I realized the absence-of-flames grew dimmer.

It was really easy to get spent and I was in the middle of something there so it was a matter of life or death to use this power the best I could. But how? Rather than energy, it was anti-energy. Absorbing others? Super punches? Trying to blast it off your fingers? I didn’t feel heat from it like most main characters do, but it wasn’t ice either.

It was ‘nothing’, and just that.

As I wondered ‘how do you fight with nothing’, the Shugoshin similar to Ryo already had the answer figured out: with ease.

First it came swinging the parasol against my face which I stopped by concentrating a good share of the absence-of-flames on my right hand, turning it into a claw and counter-attacking with enough strength to break it. Which only lead to me taking a kick in the knee, an elbow strike to the chest and getting one more attack that was similar to the position of holding a sledgehammer to my spine, at the end.

I fell to my knees, rolled over and concentrated in using the power as an energy blast with my left palm pointed at the creature. It landed but did no more than a small injury to the right thigh, which was no surprise whatsoever: while I’m no Physics expert I don’t think energy just flies around in air without losing potency during the path. The payoff at long distance wasn’t worth it and at short distance it was probably irrelevant. I just had to try because I was running out of ideas and time.

A kick to the temple and I went down one more time, only to be kicked over and over again.

“GET UP! GO ON, GET UP! AREN’T YOU A WARRIOR? GET UP!” 

I probably hurt its feelings by attacking it directly.

''Serves you right for playing its game straight, you are no fighter or hero.'' 

Oi, for someone with such a flashy name and an intro boast like that your power is really, really underwhelming when compared to others’. 

''I never claimed to be the strongest and a name is just a name.'' 

Still, it wouldn’t hurt if you were a little stronger. 

''One could say water is not ‘strong’ when it stands still, but few dare defying the fury of the oceans when there is a storm happening.''

Except this thing here is closer to a cup of water than an ocean if we’re talking about proportions.

''Make your enemy choke on it then; it is still a matter of approach.''

Right. This doesn’t change the fact I’ll probably die this time, though.

''Change your approach.''

But… I gave my best shot. I gave it all.

''Shut up, you piece of trash human: how dare you say that was all you could do?''

It was.

''Can you think?''

…what?

''Can you feel sorry for yourself? Can you think about how weak and hopeless you are in comparison to the universe around you? Can you wish for things to be different? Can you move? Can you breathe? ''

Yes.

''Then you still have energy left: you did not give it all. ''

But I’m tired, and if I couldn’t beat it before how could I have a shot now? I’m much weaker and I was found wanting to begin with. What do you want me to do? To rise as a nail and stick out only to get hammered down more?

''A few months in Japan and you already became a conformist? You ran for years just so you could have this heaven and you’re now giving up on it because you couldn’t take an enemy down as easily as you imagined? Will you stain your hands with the blood of innocents once again? Is it okay just because you won’t live enough to cope with the trauma this time?''

You don’t understand! No matter how many of them I defeat, how many cases I solve or how many people I save, it’s all the same: more and more trouble come my way until I can no longer handle it.

''No, you don’t understand: you don’t stop punching because the enemy didn’t fall, but the opposite. If the target did not went down, it’s one more reason to keep on punching: you punch and punch until it does. The punches will not affect only your enemy, but you too: your bones will break and your flesh will bleed easily and in the same way they will recover, but not to the same state. Your bones will grow thicker, your muscles will develop, and your mind too will become stronger but there’s one thing you need to do to start that process.''

To resist?

''To fight back: one can manage to resist passively, but you can’t fight back that way. Either you fight back with aggression as your intent and means or you don’t.''

But I might die. Everyone might die because of my mistakes and weakness. Someone already did, for heaven’s sake.

''So? The thing is, all of you will eventually die either way: you are fated to that the moment you are born, period. What you are doing so far is giving up, it’s the coward way out.''

If in the end it’s all the same, why should I bother?

''Yes, you are going to die, and dying is forever; thinking about it right now is just suffering by anticipation. But life is limited, a single shot you get of doing what you want and ascending to a higher level regardless of whether you start as the richest woman ever or a poor excuse for a man. Why on Earth would you people consider wasting it or being okay with passing through those few years ling like a dog, I have no idea.''

This speech is very nice and everything, but that doesn’t change the fact I don’t have the strength to win a proper fight against that creature. I just can’t do it.

''Then don’t.''

…but you just said…

''Don’t have a proper fight, if you can’t win one. Humanity sure is slow to learn, but you’re something else. You don’t fight storms; you find a way to predict them and to some extent, control them. You don’t swim against the ocean; you create vehicles that allow you to navigate through it, devices to warn you when you should defend your people from it and dams to tame its tremendous strength getting hydroelectric power on top of that. Don’t just stop punching, you idiot: punch different!''

…one more time. I know what you mean now. Lend me your strength one more time, I know what to do.

''You’d better. And I won’t lend it to you. I am the strength, and I am yours.''

I felt the power rush through me and it wasn’t like I was possessed as in Ayaka’s case; rather I was feeling whole at last.

“As I decay, something new is born.”

Without hesitation, without thinking at all, I advanced. I stepped in walls that weren’t there and moved freely like it was a world made of floor. Walking, increasing pace and then galloping at lightning speed on thin air. Directions were tolerated no longer, for I could push my legs forward and move backwards or sideways if I wanted to at that point. That sub universe was nothing but vectors and fractals and it was my domain.

In rare form, unchained like the drift, all was allowed to me.

The speed and overall mobility of the monster were finally matched if not surpassed and it showed whenever we’d meet and spar midair rather than just clash inside those seemingly endless boundaries. Every hit I delivered generated a noise that struck me as the characteristic one of glass breaking while every attack the creature landed was accompanied by a sub frequency bass wave that resonated in my chest. That improvised percussive symphony was insane, and that was the hugest understatement I had ever listened to.

Maybe that fight could not go on forever because of my stamina, but it surely was going everywhere.

As I maintained focus and sped up my pace I realized why the monster did not seem as undefeatable at that point and got slightly mad at myself for not considering the possibility first: a creature moving that fast and freely could not and would not rely on vision. Vision is useless if you have to change angles and point of view every second.

So 'it', or most likely all of the Shugoshin, used heat, which my power canceled. Not a particularly heroic natural defense, but perfect for someone like me. If it concealed me enough to force these monsters to use more natural means to search me limiting their abilities that much, it was better than I could ever hope for and gave me a lot of insight on how I should fight.

A clash and a retreat on both sides.

“Y-your plan is to defeat me, the entity who created this glorious realm, with mere brute force? Nonsense! You don’t stand a chance!” 
“Just my kind of battle then!” Quickly I jumped, advancing both forward and to a higher infinity at high speed and pulled my right arm enveloped by the pitch black absence-of-flames back midair to gather some strength. All that goes up has to go down and I could tell even inside that subdimension that law was truth; that was an important part of my potentially suicidal plan. “Clench those teeth, Ryo!” 

I came down from the illusory space falling like a comet or an angel, but all the resistance I found only made me want more and more to emerge victorious from the confront. The Shugoshin bit his inferior lip, strong and fast enough for a small spray of blood to fly and taint the imitation of air. Indecision no longer was present in his face and in its place a burning lust for battle spawned. It seemed genuinely happy and for some reason I could relate to that feeling.

Perhaps because I am human and that is what really drives us.

“Come!” 
"U''OR''YA''AA''AA''AAA''AAAA''AAA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''A''A''A''!!!!!"

What my inhuman enemy didn’t see coming until the last second, however, was the bait and switch.

We, humans, are tricky creatures by nature, living beings that use ruses and tools to achieve what we can’t do on our own and while that kind of intelligence might not be all there is to us when it comes to separating us from other species, it certainly is what brought us in safety to the state where we find ourselves currently: our world is a massive deathtrap composed of a million smaller ones just waiting to be triggered by nature, and we certainly built a few deathtraps ourselves much to our children’s dismay, but so far we survived all those ordeals. The planet seems to hate us and that doesn’t mean that we should stop evolving.

Or, even if we should give up, that we will.

A direct, fair blow would be a stupid strategy and too much of a risky gamble. While I can see why it would appeal to some people, that’s not how I fight unless it’s the last option left. To appeal to the enemy’s battle lust, however, is a good way to make sure you can predict its behavior. It helped that the creature shared a mind with an idealistic writer; I’ll have to grant you that: a duel like that was most likely what the Shugoshin wished for the most. The button was just there waiting to be pressed.

So I triggered it, I played along and delivered to my public. It wanted the promise of a fair battle with high stakes, ‘manly speeches’ and boasting. The clashing of final attacks was an absolutely necessary scene in order to complete the story to someone with that kind of mindset. Fantasy craves and screams for scenes like that, which is exactly why I was sure to feed that illusion until the punch landed and my arm was completely shattered.

If I didn’t know what would come next I would have allowed my body to give in and pass out because of the unbearable pain. But I did for a fact know, and the knockout mechanism would not get the best of me.

For one split second I saw the creature grin with absurd pleasure only to realize it was too easy and move its head to face my flying left arm that went against it like a guided missile engulfed by the black non-flames. It finally realized I had transferred the power to my other arm which held Ayaka’s pantographic knife and sacrificed the right one to create a ruse.

I needed the time to draw and unfold it and the monster just gave it to me.

I was no fighter, indeed; if I ever learned how to fight was so that I didn’t have to. To embrace what I was good at instead of accepting a role others forced upon me, of being someone else’s hero or knight in shining armor because the plot demanded so was ridiculous. Who I was, what I was, that constant would never change and always take me back: as back when I was a kid, I was the destroyer of all things magical. Maybe I could not cope with murder, but this creature was not human and it would not qualify.

So return her to me. 

Ryo is 『mine』. 

The grin didn’t much fade as much as it shifted briskly, a contortion visibly painful but nothing compared to what the knife my remaining hand did to the back of creature with Ryo’s face. I had just lost a good portion of my arm yet the attack still made me feel sorry for the monster when it connected.

I had become, for all effects of the term, a cheating backstabber.

Mankind’s answer to Mystery. 

A 『born killer』 who cannot murder. 

A soundless and inexpressive chock happened followed by a deafening supersonic wave spreading through the whole realm, and then it really was all over.

<noinclude>
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| Back to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment|Chapter 2.5: Intermezzo: The Kouma Yon Experiment]]
| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II|Chapter 4: Ryo II]]
|-
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</noinclude>

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Afterword

2012-04-30T20:36:32Z

Ryuno: oops, messed up the bulleted list

Greetings, I am Ryuno.

It has been little more than a year since I wrote my first ‘Afterword’, hasn’t it? A lot
changed since then, but one thing didn’t: writing this novel was absurdly exhausting
too, and while the intensity of it might have changed (and it’s safe to say it escalated to
levels I was not aware of) the essence of the exhaustion did not. That said, I take pride
in saying I worked on some of the deficiencies of the first volume in this one.

I am really glad you stayed with me so far and thankful for the friends I made due
to writing this. To meet such like-minded people and even be able to have some
individuals fairly different from me relating to my story, these were things that filled me
with joy. You all made a creature really happy just by saying “hey, I read your novel”
and replying nicely to my common honest and self-depreciative answer, “sorry about
that”.

As I am fairly sure I mentioned several times before, and pretty much everywhere,
from the moment I decided to get serious about the story the first novel was established
as build-up. Not just it, to be honest: even now that I merged the plot of two stories
into “d.m.c.” the schedule remains for three novels that come before the story I actually
want to write yet don’t find myself ready to as a writer. While I am adept of the
philosophy of always aiming for a higher level than the one you usually can achieve
and forcing yourself to become the worker to perform it properly rather than dumbing
down the product so you can manufacture it with the means you have at the moment, I
simply cannot release the story I actually want to finish because it is a good concept that
deserves a better execution than I can provide now: if I let it out as it is, I’d be better off
just releasing it as an outline and letting other people fill the blanks or write it for/along
with me.

Which I have been tempted to many times in the past, to be frank.

I would not be entirely honest to anyone if I said this book took a year to write, and a
better alternative would be to say it took a year to get done with. Were procrastination
a magical skill I would be one amazing creature. My editor, Hegemon and close friend
Zehava gave some amazing input in the matter, which I will transcribe here.

Get over the whole "if I'm not in the mood" thing on creativity. The reason I even have
to hit you with deadlines is because you don't get work done for a dog's age unless
you're being pressured. I understand that, and I know I can be like that too, but I cannot
abide when other creative people claim lack of muse or whatever as their excuse not to
get things done. If it's a weakness of yours, then just bite your arm and force your way
over it. I'm aware of all the burdens you have now, but I've also seen you goof off when
you could have been planning out your schedule and reducing it.

I know you made fun of me half a year ago when I told you about planning my days.
Hell, I made fun of me too. But the thing is, even that rough outline has helped me get
things done that I'd never have gotten done otherwise. So as a friend, as a client, as
your editor and technical superior, I'm telling you this.

Start planning.

Force yourself to stick to your plan and get stercus done already.

It was very convincing to say the least. Sure I had a lot more on my mind and
considerably less time than I had when I wrote the first volume because I have been
working a day job with shifts that are, from most points of view, disproportional to
their remuneration. Even after work, I do not have the time I used to have because my
priorities have changed along with emotional needs. I am not complaining in any way,
for there has not been a time in my life when I could say I was “genuinely happy despite
unfavorable, not to say generally soul-crushing odds” without lying as much as Shin-tsu
does.

During the course of this year I failed people and I am sorry they feel bad. Like Kouma,
however, I have my reasons and will stand by them unless they are not enough to give
me the results I require. What I am saying here is that the only situation in which I
would have done things different would be if I could get equivalent or better results
than now. Judging by the time travel/Butterfly Effect mechanics I not only believe in
but know exist and function not only in the book, all of this is very likely and unlikely
simultaneously, but either way absolutely unpredictable thus not worth pondering over.

Other than that, postulate on everything: such is the nature of Science: as long as there
is a possibility, question. Sometimes we forget about that and it leads to bad, derivative
work. While humans are a species that learns by imitation (much like monkeys) better
than by, say, osmotic inspiration, the problem with having derivative scientists lies
in the fact you don’t get, if we were to compare them to musician terms, the core of
Progressive Metal.

You get Metalcore instead, a whole scene of.

At some point, though, it is bound to spawn higher quality products by mixing with
other subgenres and experimenting, defying tropes and playing clichés straight when
you expect them not to specifically because it is an author tract to avoid them. Even
the worst specimen of anything has to have a quality or two in order to survive even
if they seem to be nothing but flaws. Natural selection, albeit limited by the absolute
randomness of Chaos, tends to be too harsh on the ones who try and escape the roulette
of abilities, be them uncanny or not. I refer to both the escapees and the abilities.

What does this all have to do with the book?

I refuse to write the same book twice and am sorry if you felt bad by how your
perceptions of the characters changed by the end of this one. If you stay tuned, it will
happen again and again so you might enjoy it more next book. However, I do not
apologize for writing them.

The first story established the setting: that is a given. The purpose of this one is to point
flaws in it and raise questions; as a consequence, I understand how it could have been
seen as a much darker tale, even though once you re-read the first book you will be able
to see better how the darkness was always lingering and you just did not know about
it much like fish probably don’t have a word for water, but would have if you made
them aware of it. Alternatively, you would only feel that way because I told you of
this possibility, the effect known as the “Historian's Fallacy”. After the author says a
character is X, it’s easy to see traces of it even when they weren’t there.

Which is one of the reasons why I raised more questions than delivered answers this
time; the other would be to make sure people would get the point of having a first-
person perspective on a book nowadays, as in the postmodern world.

Shin-tsu lies.

Maybe not all the time, maybe not about everything, but he clearly does and it’s time
for everyone to consider questioning him at least once in a while: I had to go and
establish it as a fact that he does, however, because the nuance just wasn’t reaching
most and that was probably a direct result of me not being a good writer in the first
place. Kouma’s chapter, more than give insight on the character, did not show this as
much as shove it on the reader’s face.

What else is left to be asked, then? Well, several things. I will list some to entice
speculation, so feel free to make threads about it or pass by the official blog to discuss
these with me (although answering them directly would most likely count as spoiling
the next book).

* How exactly did Kouma Yon know what Death Drive would say after the things went out of what was planned (pretty easy one if you were paying attention to how the story went, but I will state it on screen next time to make sure no one misses it)?
* Who is Koukishin Shinzou?
* On whose side is Kouma Yon?
* What happened to Morimoto Ayaka?
* From the point the festival happened to the final scene in the hospital, it is implied at least one week passed: how did the conflict between a Ryo on-the-run, a potentially dangerous Kouma and a paranoid-but-with-reasons-to-be Shin-tsu got “resolved” to a point where the three of them can be in the same room?
* Regarding the many magical and odd things one can only assume (based on the evidence presented so far) to be Mystery, was Shin-tsu lying about his past, telling the truth or being delusional?
* Where is Ryo’s mother?
* What the hell did Shin-tsu do to Lang Shou?
* Why is Rin so perfect (asked by my editor)?
* What exactly happened between Ryo, Death Drive and Shin-tsu (prequel, prequel!)?
* How will things progress now that the one person who knew what was actually
going on is in a coma? Will Shin-tsu keep his word and take Reikoku’s place?
* What was the teacher’s backup plan and why is Shin-tsu so afraid of it?

If you think of any more, contact me on http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com . Next book
is about acceptance and reconstruction and in order to close the cycle properly before
starting the story-I-really-want-to-write I need to know what subplots I need to solve. I
want to be sure I can give this story the “end” it deserves.

Thank you for your time, hope you enjoyed this and I can’t wait to meet you again.

January 29th, 2012.

- Ryuno.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Afterword

2012-04-30T20:30:35Z

Ryuno: And done.

Greetings, I am Ryuno.

It has been little more than a year since I wrote my first ‘Afterword’, hasn’t it? A lot
changed since then, but one thing didn’t: writing this novel was absurdly exhausting
too, and while the intensity of it might have changed (and it’s safe to say it escalated to
levels I was not aware of) the essence of the exhaustion did not. That said, I take pride
in saying I worked on some of the deficiencies of the first volume in this one.

I am really glad you stayed with me so far and thankful for the friends I made due
to writing this. To meet such like-minded people and even be able to have some
individuals fairly different from me relating to my story, these were things that filled me
with joy. You all made a creature really happy just by saying “hey, I read your novel”
and replying nicely to my common honest and self-depreciative answer, “sorry about
that”.

As I am fairly sure I mentioned several times before, and pretty much everywhere,
from the moment I decided to get serious about the story the first novel was established
as build-up. Not just it, to be honest: even now that I merged the plot of two stories
into “d.m.c.” the schedule remains for three novels that come before the story I actually
want to write yet don’t find myself ready to as a writer. While I am adept of the
philosophy of always aiming for a higher level than the one you usually can achieve
and forcing yourself to become the worker to perform it properly rather than dumbing
down the product so you can manufacture it with the means you have at the moment, I
simply cannot release the story I actually want to finish because it is a good concept that
deserves a better execution than I can provide now: if I let it out as it is, I’d be better off
just releasing it as an outline and letting other people fill the blanks or write it for/along
with me.

Which I have been tempted to many times in the past, to be frank.

I would not be entirely honest to anyone if I said this book took a year to write, and a
better alternative would be to say it took a year to get done with. Were procrastination
a magical skill I would be one amazing creature. My editor, Hegemon and close friend
Zehava gave some amazing input in the matter, which I will transcribe here.

Get over the whole "if I'm not in the mood" thing on creativity. The reason I even have
to hit you with deadlines is because you don't get work done for a dog's age unless
you're being pressured. I understand that, and I know I can be like that too, but I cannot
abide when other creative people claim lack of muse or whatever as their excuse not to
get things done. If it's a weakness of yours, then just bite your arm and force your way
over it. I'm aware of all the burdens you have now, but I've also seen you goof off when
you could have been planning out your schedule and reducing it.

I know you made fun of me half a year ago when I told you about planning my days.
Hell, I made fun of me too. But the thing is, even that rough outline has helped me get
things done that I'd never have gotten done otherwise. So as a friend, as a client, as
your editor and technical superior, I'm telling you this.

Start planning.

Force yourself to stick to your plan and get stercus done already.

It was very convincing to say the least. Sure I had a lot more on my mind and
considerably less time than I had when I wrote the first volume because I have been
working a day job with shifts that are, from most points of view, disproportional to
their remuneration. Even after work, I do not have the time I used to have because my
priorities have changed along with emotional needs. I am not complaining in any way,
for there has not been a time in my life when I could say I was “genuinely happy despite
unfavorable, not to say generally soul-crushing odds” without lying as much as Shin-tsu
does.

During the course of this year I failed people and I am sorry they feel bad. Like Kouma,
however, I have my reasons and will stand by them unless they are not enough to give
me the results I require. What I am saying here is that the only situation in which I
would have done things different would be if I could get equivalent or better results
than now. Judging by the time travel/Butterfly Effect mechanics I not only believe in
but know exist and function not only in the book, all of this is very likely and unlikely
simultaneously, but either way absolutely unpredictable thus not worth pondering over.

Other than that, postulate on everything: such is the nature of Science: as long as there
is a possibility, question. Sometimes we forget about that and it leads to bad, derivative
work. While humans are a species that learns by imitation (much like monkeys) better
than by, say, osmotic inspiration, the problem with having derivative scientists lies
in the fact you don’t get, if we were to compare them to musician terms, the core of
Progressive Metal.

You get Metalcore instead, a whole scene of.

At some point, though, it is bound to spawn higher quality products by mixing with
other subgenres and experimenting, defying tropes and playing clichés straight when
you expect them not to specifically because it is an author tract to avoid them. Even
the worst specimen of anything has to have a quality or two in order to survive even
if they seem to be nothing but flaws. Natural selection, albeit limited by the absolute
randomness of Chaos, tends to be too harsh on the ones who try and escape the roulette
of abilities, be them uncanny or not. I refer to both the escapees and the abilities.

What does this all have to do with the book?

I refuse to write the same book twice and am sorry if you felt bad by how your
perceptions of the characters changed by the end of this one. If you stay tuned, it will
happen again and again so you might enjoy it more next book. However, I do not
apologize for writing them.

The first story established the setting: that is a given. The purpose of this one is to point
flaws in it and raise questions; as a consequence, I understand how it could have been
seen as a much darker tale, even though once you re-read the first book you will be able
to see better how the darkness was always lingering and you just did not know about
it much like fish probably don’t have a word for water, but would have if you made
them aware of it. Alternatively, you would only feel that way because I told you of
this possibility, the effect known as the “Historian's Fallacy”. After the author says a
character is X, it’s easy to see traces of it even when they weren’t there.

Which is one of the reasons why I raised more questions than delivered answers this
time; the other would be to make sure people would get the point of having a first-
person perspective on a book nowadays, as in the postmodern world.

Shin-tsu lies.

Maybe not all the time, maybe not about everything, but he clearly does and it’s time
for everyone to consider questioning him at least once in a while: I had to go and
establish it as a fact that he does, however, because the nuance just wasn’t reaching
most and that was probably a direct result of me not being a good writer in the first
place. Kouma’s chapter, more than give insight on the character, did not show this as
much as shove it on the reader’s face.

What else is left to be asked, then? Well, several things. I will list some to entice
speculation, so feel free to make threads about it or pass by the official blog to discuss
these with me (although answering them directly would most likely count as spoiling
the next book).

• How exactly did Kouma Yon know what Death Drive would say after the things
went out of what was planned (pretty easy one if you were paying attention to
how the story went, but I will state it on screen next time to make sure no one
misses it)?
• Who is Koukishin Shinzou?
• On whose side is Kouma Yon?
• What happened to Morimoto Ayaka?
• From the point the festival happened to the final scene in the hospital, it is
implied at least one week passed: how did the conflict between a Ryo on-the-
run, a potentially dangerous Kouma and a paranoid-but-with-reasons-to-be Shin-
tsu got “resolved” to a point where the three of them can be in the same room?
• Regarding the many magical and odd things one can only assume (based on
the evidence presented so far) to be Mystery, was Shin-tsu lying about his past,
telling the truth or being delusional?
• Where is Ryo’s mother?
• What the hell did Shin-tsu do to Lang Shou?
• Why is Rin so perfect (asked by my editor)?
• What exactly happened between Ryo, Death Drive and Shin-tsu (prequel,
prequel!)?
• How will things progress now that the one person who knew what was actually
going on is in a coma? Will Shin-tsu keep his word and take Reikoku’s place?
• What was the teacher’s backup plan and why is Shin-tsu so afraid of it?

If you think of any more, contact me on http://thatguyfroma.wordpress.com . Next book
is about acceptance and reconstruction and in order to close the cycle properly before
starting the story-I-really-want-to-write I need to know what subplots I need to solve. I
want to be sure I can give this story the “end” it deserves.

Thank you for your time, hope you enjoyed this and I can’t wait to meet you again.

January 29th, 2012.

- Ryuno.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 4: Ryo II

2012-04-30T20:27:39Z

Ryuno: Last chapter of this volume, also unedited. Once again, sorry for taking this long.

== Part 1 ==
In a sense, of course.

What really happened is that I was all of a sudden brought back to the Festival along with Ryo, whose body just collapsed in front of me. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough to catch her.

Actually, I was thankful for both that and having two arms to catch her with.

After checking her pulse and discreetly running my hand down on her back to make sure the knife wound wasn’t there, I sighed deeply with sheer relief and then reached for the mobile phone in my pocket. One look at it and I was assured of what I suspected.

Time did not move at all ever since the kiss.

Another illusion? Seemed too complex for one, and it went on for too long, but I could not find another plausible explanation with the knowledge I had so far. My arm was here, I didn’t feel exhausted in any way other than mentally. Confusion levels rising and that alone was too much for my brain to handle at that point.

''Everything happened, but inside a layer.'' 
''A sub universe or a ‘scenario’ if you will.'' 
''It did, though.'' 

The Darkest.

''The girl is safe, you just defeated her Overdrive; to be precise, she is safe because you defeated it.'' 
''Although my speculation is that the reason why she’s passed has probably to do with the ‘condition’ her ability imposes.'' 

…condition? Wait, is this ‘Overdrive’ the Shugoshin-possessed state? So there really is a difference between a host fighting commonly and that…

''You got that right.: Ayaka and Ryo had breakdowns and the Shugoshin took over.'' 
''On the other hand the horn guy and you fought using the Shugoshin as weapons, so it wasn’t Overdrive but rather the correct usage.'' 
''Not that it pleases me to admit I am biologically no more than a glorified wishing well of destruction.'' 

What about Reikoku-sensei?

''She’s not a host, has the wrong sort of mind.'' 

No, I meant ‘why isn’t she here now’: if you say this was real, shouldn’t Reikoku-sensei have gotten here during the fight or at least after it? How can she expect to defeat the hosts if she can’t detect or at the very least provide immediate post-attack assistance? Is her idea of ‘saving everyone from them’ waiting for them to kill people so she can trail the monsters?

All the doubts I had earlier were resurfacing in no time and given the circumstances it was hard to pinpoint what was probable and what was paranoia. Was I wrong to have trusted that woman? Was I nothing but a puppet and bait in the hands of a self-righteous psychopath?

''Save it for later, we’ve got company.''

“She’ll be okay, Shin-tsu. You are needed somewhere else.” 
“Kouma.” I was almost annoyed by her presence at that point. “What do you mean? What are you doing here?” 
“No time for explanations, I know it’s a cliché but deal with it. What I am doing is damage control. If you cooperate, no one has to die.” 

I felt my eyes shift to match the mind state I knew was the worst of me.

“I’m going to ask this once so answer carefully. Are you threatening me?” 

She seemed hurt and shocked to her core, even horrified; I never thought I would see her that way let alone be the perpetrator.

“…look me in the eyes.” 
“Fine.” 
“I love you too, Shin-tsu. Would I hurt and manipulate you?” 

Didn’t take a lot of brain work for me to realize what my answer would be.

“If you had to for what you believe is my sake, yes, I’m positive you would.” 

It didn’t offend her, or if it did, she didn’t let it show.

“Do you trust me regardless?” 
“I do.” 

Which was true, too; Kouma Yon was literal-minded and an extremist, but she cared about Ryo and me in her own way so even if I couldn’t always agree with her when it comes to ‘execution’, I could trust the ‘concepts’ she had in mind enough to listen and help moderate her behavior. Her intentions were not harmful to me, at the very least of that I was sure.

“Good.” She nodded. “Thus a new experiment begins.” 
“Kouma, I’m a little too tired for this.” 
“Don’t worry; I’m here to save you. This is why I moved back in time.” 
“This ought to be the worst practical joke ever, Kouma. Even by those twisted standards of yours, I might add.” My crossed arms were trembling as I still got the ‘phantom pain’ of having lost one of them inside the monster’s world. “If you’re not giving me any evidence proving that you actually can travel in time, I’d rather stop this conversation right now.” 
“I know about you being KEN.” 

Something clicked inside my mind when she called me that name and then I remembered many, many things I came to this town to forget.

“…I’m listening.” 

She seemed absolutely delighted.

“The phone is going to ring. Pick it up. Repeat the lines I’ll whisper in your ear with exactly one second of difference and the same intonation: no mistakes allowed for now, we need to keep this timeline as close to the original as we can.” 

It did.

As I raised the phone to my ear level all I could hear was static followed by faint background noise, clearly the result of muffling the input area of the phone. Whoever it was on the other end, the intent was to make sure that the receiver would talk first: the reason I could assume was to find out if who picked it up was me.

After a few seconds I coughed just as Kouma did and intentionally took the bait.

“Hello?” 
“Nyahahaha~~! Do you remember me, KEN?” 

I wouldn’t forget that stupidly flamboyant laugh, ever.

“Death Drive.” 

Death Drive/D.D. used to be a Japanese scammer and murderer with a penchant for playing Houdini who would fake his death countless times, including on internet live streams and such. It was in one of those underground sites that I met Ryo. Not that we were into snuff or anything similar, anyway: I was there as part of my self-imposed and ultimately failed trauma-overcoming ‘routine’ and she was there to disprove him pointing out the flaws and inconsistencies of his number and method like an annoying kid at a magician’s presentation.

Except the ‘magician’ got so angry he went after her.

Over the phone and through the internet, I acted as a consultant and helped her survive his attacks. Together we defeated him and ended up sending the guy to jail for life as he was wanted all over three countries for many crimes that involved ‘faking deaths’ of other people, as in more than one coffin of a person related to him was found all clawed up inside because the victim desperately tried to get out and died spending the little oxygen he or she had under seven feet of mud after the bastard drugged them to put them in a ‘playing possum’ kind of state. He barely made it to prison though, as he had a heart condition and ironically almost kicked the bucket for real because he a little bit too nervous when he got caught. A temper and bad, bad heart made a lousy combination.

That’s when the two of us, Ryo and I, bonded. Not the cutest story for many, but it was cute enough for me because that bond lasted. Even against my attitude, for I would never dare say ‘will’; all I wanted from the bottom of my heart was to be near her for the rest of my life, regardless of title or relationship. This was obvious from the beginning to me, although whether I would get that or not was a matter of chance.

“The one and only. I just got out of prison a few months ago and thought I’d drop by and say ‘hello’ to our common friend.” 

As Kouma was telling me my next line, I could only think of how I did not have time to wonder how he got my number. This seemed specific enough to raise suspicion inside my heart.

“How exactly, pray tell? You got life sentence, no chance of parole ever. Your own lawyer applauded when the judge said it.” 
“And for as long as I was alive, I served it. Thing is, people seem to forget details and I think they are the most important thing, much more relevant than facts. My files said a lot about me, but not enough for the new prison I was transferred to. They saw me as a crazy murderer and all, and were ready for that. Not for someone whose purpose in life was to fake deaths with high-end or third-world-class methods, and thus with the unfortunate demise of Mr. Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier set Death Drive free, more now than ever before. This is why you were not told about my grand escape by your information service, although while we’re on the topic of information providers it should be noted that word on the streets is that you have been out of touch with your family and probably wouldn’t have gotten the gossip. If it existed, anyway.” 
“So you came after Ryo?” 

A disgusting snicker too sharp for my ears pierced through them, all the way to my brains.

“Not really. I mean, I might kill her too, what with her being a pretentious nuisance of a prey last time, but the one I’m after is you. You really annoyed me when you got involved, because it’s one thing to be against a kid and the other is to be against a living legend who is, as all of them, just a fake.” 
“It’s not my fault if you got worried thinking you were clashing against a genius detective or something. That is the kind of thing that only happens in movies. You should be thankful it was just another kid instead.” 
“Cause that’s exactly what you are, right? You lying demon. You fooled me into thinking that once already but I’ll get you this time, and in the only way it could hurt you: I’ll kill them all, and only because of you. You don’t get the hero’s death you crave for. You will be the only one who survives as everything burns to the ground. Mark my words, KEN: I’ll make your purgatory life hell.” 
“Still obsessed with imagery, I see. I know you like playing games. Tell me the target and we’ll race over who gets to it first while trying to catch each other.” 
“Tired of that. Let’s do something else.” 
“Like what?” 
“You try and find me hiding within school grounds before your teacher bleeds to death.” 

I knew what my next line was before Kouma Yon whispered it in my ear. 

“No.” 
“…” 
“I refuse. Do you understand that? I won’t become a sitting duck for you and I won’t waste my time over this. If you’re going to kill her, just do it. Let’s see what else you can do.” 
“For starters I can kill more students!” 

Getting more people involved was not the most pleasant of scenarios for several reasons, but I didn’t need to think about it because I was still getting all the answers ready-made.

“People I care even less about? What are you, twelve? If you’re going to negotiate on terms I should bet my life on, you ought to be able to make a better proposition than ‘run around with no idea whatsoever of where I am while I watch you from afar’. The stakes aren’t high on your end, thus this bet means nothing to me. I don’t care about catching you in particular; I just want you out of my way. You on the other hand, want my head. See how we’re different?” 
“…” 
“For me, it’s easy to achieve what I want. Kill her right now, I’ll just spread the word that an armed lunatic is within school grounds and Japanese police will be here in moments, having all those issues with guns and what not. They might be no good with conceiving ways to prevent you from escaping but you know damn well I am. In my case, the ‘no casualties’ condition is a bonus, not a goal. For you, it’s now a very important thing that the only person who knows you are out of prison and can put you back there for good, if not aim for a ‘special case’ informal death sentence using connections with other inmates or wardens. You don’t know my limitations, but I know yours.” 
“I know one. You can never kill again, KEN.” 

So he ''did'' get information from Lang Shou. That explained it all.

“Imprecise, therefore incorrect; if that’s all you know about that story, you’re in for a surprise. So, are you going to kill her? I thought you wanted to play with me.” 
“What are your terms?” 
“Oh, now we’re talking.” I sighed just like Kouma Yon did. “I need an hour to work on my side before the game starts. I’ll try to gather spies from the people here, students and parents alike, and brief them just enough information so they can be useful but not enough for them to get in my way as I have full intention of reaching you myself. Keep in mind that while you can take them down if they approach you consider that I’ll find you easier if they are my spies because I’ll know who went on which route and then... well, it’s up to you. I won’t give any more tips, already did my part in making this game more interesting. Are you with me so far?”
“You have twenty minutes. I’ll call again when it’s time.” 
“You are in no condition of negoti-” 

Call disconnected.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma sounded like she was trying to be careful with her words. “You know why he did that, right?” 
“She’s already wounded, so he doesn’t have the time.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Guess we don’t have the time to waste either. By the way, you could tell I was bluffing, right?” 
“I know you were, but only because you approached me during those fifteen minutes in the previous timeline looking pretty desperate, or at least as desperate as you get when you’re into something. I also know you could easily have been serious about it.” Matter-of-factly she just implied I’d allow murder to happen, just like that. If she thought that way, arguing was useless. “He held quite a grudge towards you.” 
“Not personal: I think he is on bad terms with everyone he ever crossed his path but I happen to be one of the few who are still alive.” 
“And he’d go out of the way to his freedom just to take ‘one of them’ out? You’re special to him. Whether you lied about your past or not is irrelevant at this point because you clearly did something at some point.” Kouma was serious and I couldn’t really blame her for being worried. “Koukishin Shinzou, if that is your real name, who are you?” 

I had to be honest albeit not necessarily specific.

“It is my ‘real’ name, just not my birth name; I’m adopted. I was taken by the most normal couple in the world who just happened to be the odd ones out in this absurdly unusual family. This should be as far as my connection would go to the weird circumstances, but I’ve gotten into some messed up stuff of my own and ended up making a name for myself as an individual rather than a son of the household. Because of that, people know my nicknames but most of them don’t know me. I know people.” 

She seemed satisfied with that vague answer of mine.

“I like you better now.” 
“Figured.” 
“You would, wouldn’t you? Before I tell you about the plan, tell me, so-called ‘hunter of monsters’: what good are you against a human?” 

Yes, that alone proved her time travel allegation even further. As if I needed any more proof despite the scripted lines and all.

It could have all been a ruse; the lines could have been arranged on the other side too.
She could be working with Death Drive too, they all could.

Let’s not go there; spiraling into paranoia is just what I don’t need right now.

“Good enough when it comes to deception.” 
“I’ll take your word on that.” An ironic reply considering what I just told her, but her voice had no sarcasm in it. Then again, I did tell her she’s not human to me. “Here is the plan: Ryo, dressed as you, will walk around school and act the same way you did in the first timeline following the script. Akane will keep your mobile phone and play the audio clips you will record with Megumi’s loop pedal and one of the microphones you used for the live performance. Whenever the phone with Ayaka gets a call, Ryo in disguise picks up too: synchrony is everything.” 

Let me suspend disbelief for a moment and assume that she got all of my movements down in exact words on paper, let alone in a way it couldn’t be misunderstood by a reader such as Ryo. Or that we can get high-school girls to help us pull a swindle or an operation such as that, just because they’re friends. Let’s point out a simple flaw first, save the awful implications for later.

“Hold on. What about ambience?” 
“What?” 
“Lack or different ambient noise on our end will make the recording stand out in places where he can both watch me and see what’s going on too. The recording won’t match the environments even when there’s no noise because of the room natural reverb too. D.D. might be an oddball but it will be hard to keep the act for long. Can we just redirect calls easily?” 
“Well, I wouldn’t know… it is your phone after all.” 
“Never tried, bought this new model right before coming to Japan and just had my number transferred.” Decided to omit the detail my previous one was eaten by a harpy from Kouma, who was just too much of a skeptic to take it even as a joke, which it was not, but would be a better reaction than hers anyway. I messed with it for a while. “Yes, this phone can.” 
“Alright, hand it to me. I’ll just set our speed dials’ first position to be each other.” 
“Good.” I was so focused I didn’t even want to make a joke about that. “I’ll wake Ryo up and brief her in. Can you get Megumi and Akane?” 
“No Rin?” 
“Her father is probably suspicious of me already, no need to add salt to the wound; what if we involve her and he follows us, only to be hurt or ruin the scheme? We know Akane’s mom isn’t like that.” 
“I see.” 
“We just have to hope they’ll cooperate with us, but if you say it’s for me Megumi might agree and Akane will come along.” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m absolutely certain I can get Akane to cooperate: it’s Megumi we will have to hope will come along, actually.” 

That made me confused.

“How can you be so sure you can mobilize them just like that? Did you talk to them about this before?” 
“Oh, not really. It is because of Ryo’s conspiracy.” 
“What are you talking about?” 
“Somehow, she guessed this whole ‘I want to protect you so I will get away from you but in a way it seems like we just grew apart because maybe we weren’t so close after all’ thing was your game early on and let, in her own words, the plot build up for a most cathartic finale. I aided her keeping track of your behavior with the café therapy sessions, but before you ask I actually am working on my thesis. When you told me about Megumi and Akane, I knew who we had to ally with to make sure you would be alone at some point during the festival. Then Akane gave us the information about the band ending plans and Ryo made sure you would not be told about it before the actual day so you’d be absolutely ready for some clashing morals and romantic angst when she confronted you, other than no place for you to just run away to. This is why we got Rin’s father to wait by the backstage and, although entirely unaware of our gambit, he was useful when it came to intercepting her and making you leave alone. What Akane doesn’t know is that her mother also indirectly helped the plan because she talked to Rin’s father a couple times before, what with being the only dedicated flower shop owner and all. I happened to overhear them talking while you played and while he was a little shocked that his beloved daughter hid something like that from him for so long, the hippie knocked some sense in him with a ‘boys will be boys’ kind of speech that reminded him of his youth days. In the end, we relied on luck a little but her sting worked.” 
“…Shiina Ryo out-conned me?” I laughed honestly from my heart. “Dear God, I’m going to marry her.” 

This was kind of intricate for a beginner so it made me wonder if the reason why they don’t seem to get along with other girls in school went beyond anti-social behavior. Another part of the explanation brought forth an even more unsettling question.

If it was all just part of the con she pulled on me, why did her Shugoshin go Overdrive? The plan would have ended there with the kiss; she should be happy but instead broke down. Sure that wasn’t what I expected from our first kiss either but it was because of the whole world fading to white and whatnot, not because it was such a bad kiss. Perhaps I’m mistaking the ‘cause’ here: let’s say it even wasn’t because of the kiss per se, but rather the strong emotion she felt triggering others in chain reaction after a period of bottling up, including the real cause. But what could that be? The emotional overload of a hundred of small problems or something else much bigger? If I were around, I probably would know.

“I’m sure she’d like that.” 

A certain fashionista I knew had an ennui face and I realized that, under the circumstances, it looked like I just spaced out imagining a married life with Ryo.

“Kouma, it was a joke.” 
“I know. Me being jealous is a constant rather than a common variable, so you just have to watch out for how much and not if I am or not; that is a sure thing.” 
“Talking about jealousy, it might be a little too rude to ask but do you think Megumi knows Akane likes her that way?” 
“Who’s to tell? One way to look at it is that she doesn’t have a clue; other implies she does and doesn’t want to reject the friend who gave her a home when she was in need. My personal guess, and I will take it as fact until proven otherwise, is that she knows and regardless of seeing her as a possible romantic pair or not will not move a finger until Akane takes the courage to go after her and confess properly. Which would be brilliant in a simple and effortless way, if you ask me: works if she just wants her friend to grow up or if she needs a more reliable and sure-of-herself lover.” 

How specific.

“Is that what you wanted the dynamic between Ryo and you to be? Good grief, Kouma, you’re such a maiden at heart.” 
“…” 
“Liking me or not, you wouldn’t have a problem if I got offended by being played that way and didn’t want to be involved with you guys anymore one way or another. Not only had you enabled her behavior, which could end up really bad, you also told me the whole scheme so that I could react the way I wanted. It was a matter of free will to you, and you were sure that one way or another I’d use mine to walk away if I had the chance. ” I sighed deeply. “So your personal conspiracy failed, in a myriad of ways.” 

I kind of wanted her to get mad but she just stared at me.

“It was an experiment. Experiments never actually fail, you know. They provide results one way or the other, even if the results are that you can’t achieve the ones you want by using that method; that outcome that could come across as bad narrows down the search and brings us closer to what can be called Science.” 
“So did you find out the answer to your question?” 
“It’s ‘yes’.” 
“And did you find the question to your answer?” 
“It was ‘whether I loved you because you were like her or because you are you’.” 
“...in a conditional question, marked by ‘or’, you replied ‘yes’ and that’s it?” 
“Exactly.” 
“OK then.” If that was good enough for her, it was for me too. “Enough talk; let’s pull a con on a convict.” 

A yawn was heard behind me but I had the impression she had been awake for a while.

“Shin-tsu.” Ryo said, half of the mouth still covered by her hand. “You’ve been waiting to say that for your whole life, weren’t you?” 

I didn’t bother denying it.

== Part 2 ==

The five of us stood on the rooftop as we prepared to perform as a different sort of band than the one I played with earlier and I felt like mood of the day was definitely crescendo.

To make things simple: I had two sorts of drama, kissed someone, had a visit from the past, slammed that bass with a progressive/extreme metal group, someone I cared for was in danger, got into a fight and it was an established fact my friends schemed a lot too. The festival was an emotional rollercoaster yet I didn’t feel that awake in months so it was hard to complain; I really missed the thrill and I hated myself for it.

Not just for that, but whatever.

The two remaining members of our posse joined without making many questions, but this probably had to with me activating The Darkest in front of their eyes and showing them the absence-of-flames I could summon. Akane was weird enough on her own, but what surprised me was how Megumi seemed badly shocked for a split-second and then calming down only to get hyper enough to ask why I didn’t use the visually exquisite anti-pyrotechnic ability as special effects during our concert.

The moment Kouma handed each one of us the Bluetooth earpieces and made sure we all had each other in speed dial I remembered how Megumi pawned her acoustic guitar and realized what Kouma and Ryo meant by how money mattered: it was easy to see how someone who for a while now have everything just handed to him would have trouble understanding the concept of not having enough monetary resources available.

What I couldn’t understand was why Kouma had two phones on her; it would be easy to comprehend if the number she gave any us was of the new one, but she did not even mention it even though it was on sight. The second model seemed very simple in comparison to her fashionable main one, not even from a well-known brand: it looked completely bootleg if I ever saw one, and I’ve seen my share of counterfeit merchandise through the years. What could be the purpose of that, if not to avoid using her day number for the calls?

Not the time to digress, I know.

The roles were simply established by default: Ryo would take care of distracting Death Drive by pretending to be me; Akane was the closest we could get to a gadget person and would operate both the phone that would actually connect to DD’s when he called and the loop machine we’d use to record my lines so I did not have to pick the phone and give away the plan somehow; Megumi would provide assistance to Akane but her job was to be the field agent that would make sure I could get unnoticed to the room we already knew he was in thanks to Kouma having been through this day once before; Kouma was our information source and mastermind for that operation. And me?

My job was, according to the fashionista, the same I chose on my own during the first timeline: to infiltrate and neutralize the bastard before he could do more than merely hurt our teacher.

Needless to say, I was uneasy. Thrilled in a sense, sure, but it was an unusual situation for that kind of mission: we had a ‘who’, the exact location of ‘where’ and more than enough data on ‘when’. Our real trouble was ‘how’ and we barely had any time to discuss it: it was either following Kouma’s lead or storming like a bull and risk Reikoku-sensei’s life.

I did not have much of a choice given the circumstances: I was offered a clean way out which would save me and others and the other option was letting Death Drive have his way.

I’d never.

With Kouma’s plan, Ryo would wear my clothes and walk around school in the same fashion as I did in the first timeline to keep it from diverging into new events due to the Butterfly Effect (not something I thought was entirely possible, but would have to work for a while somehow) and keep the day as predictable as possible until I could sneak behind DD and rescue Reikoku-sensei. This would have been all fun and games if it wasn’t for one detail: if my clothes were with Ryo, then whose clothes would I wear to successfully disguise myself in a school that was pretty much girl-only?

Yeah, pretty obvious and not particularly pleasant.

So they lent me some of Megumi’s, say, ‘hair’: one set of medium length red extensions, and despite having seen a lot of stuff ever since I was born I have to admit seeing that at least part of Megumi’s look was actually detachable and under the several layers of extension her hairstyle was essentially a sidecut freaked me out for some reason. Each of the extensions was placed under the sides of my own hair giving me an edgy look along with the side-swept fringe held by a bobby pin at the end. Ryo’s thick-frame glasses weren’t half as strong as I assumed they would be, so neither of us should have issues being with or without them. Kouma did my makeup; I told her ‘no heavy stuff’, but it’s not like we had the time for her to overproduce me anyway and the key was not to get too much attention, which I assume would be harder if I looked like Megumi did every day.

A little padding on the uniform to make up for my absolute lack of bosom helped although it would take a lot more than ‘a little’ padding if we were to simulate Ryo’s, so a few safety pins had to be placed on strategic points too. While they talked about my transformation on the go I realized my idea that Ryo was entirely oblivious to girly things such as makeup was unfounded and made me realize she probably used it a lot more than I noticed, which made me happy because being ignorant to a girl’s effort in cosmetics was pretty much a ‘guy thing’. And why did that make me, a self-proclaimed feminist, happy, you ask?

Because it took me one look at the mirror to realize they turned me into a hipster girl.

It kind of offended me deep down that to disguise Ryo as me they seemed to have a little more difficulty to make her look manlier, going as far as trimming her hair a little and using plastic to bind her generous-to-say-the-least bosom, tasks which she wasn’t particularly thrilled about. Still, despite the many bad things that could come out of it, there was no denying Kouma was right about her bone structure being the most similar to mine of the four girls; she looked like an idealized me so much it got to the point of making me look less like myself. Yet it wasn’t like I didn’t prefer her as a girl: there was just no way I looked that good as a boy.

She caught me staring at her and gave me the smile I missed so much in my life.

“Did you like it? Put a ring on it.” She extended her hand to me as those waiting for an engagement proposal but took it back after a single second and I knew it wasn’t just because that reference felt a little out of place. “Wait, I’m the guy now... this should be my job, traditionally. Go on, give me your hand. No… should I be on my knees while doing this, Shin-tsu?” 

Instant smirk.

“You ask as if I was the expert in proposals.” 
“Well, you sure flirt a lot amongst other things.” Ouch… With that critical hit blow I frowned instantly. I knew that was coming but it didn’t make taking the damage any easier. Guess I deserved that and the following five hundred remarks on that subject I surely would get over the course of months. “Forget it, I shouldn’t take things personal now. Let’s just move on. Our teacher’s life is at stake, it was shallow of me to waste time. I’m sorry.” 

No.

Postponing stuff or making things happen sooner than they should was what put us in trouble in the first place. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. The time was right then and letting the moment pass instead of hitting the iron while it was hot was a risk I was not willing to take.

“No, I’m sorry. You have the right to feel that way. I should have treated you as an equal and I apologize for not doing so. This is why we became friends in the first place, so I shouldn’t underestimate you and think you can’t take whatever I am dealing with. Concern does not justify concealing information, and thereby this offender offers a truce.” 
“On what terms?” 
“I promise to never hide anything from you again.” 

Dramatic pause, as expected of her.

“What is it in exchange for? Forgiveness?” 
“Forgiveness isn’t something that can be bought with a deal, no matter what the State might say about pardoning someone in exchange for information on others. Either it blooms on its own or it’s bound to be taken back in the future. Remission is more of a realistic procedure, if you ask me, so I’m aware I deserve some consequences whether I regret what I did or not because I wronged you.” I had to stop myself from going off the tangent too much. “What I want is the same of you: you are not to withhold information from me. If we are to stand side by side as equals, you need to stop hiding things too. You’re in some sort of trouble and not asking for help. While that is commendable as an effort, it means nothing if you can’t get past it on your own. Kouma and I, we’re here. If you need us, just ask.” 
“Just that?” 

I nodded.

“Just that.” Gently I took her hand and held it, ready for a shook. “Truce?” 

Rather than taken aback, she seemed peaceful like a burden was taken off her back.

“Yeah, I guess we really are the same. Truce.” 

We shook hands in a rather firm way but if it hurt her she did not let it show. Despite having kissed her earlier surely that was the moment of the day when I felt connected to her the most.

One interpersonal issue solved, all that was left was to save Reikoku-sensei.

I looked at the script she wrote for Ryo and realized why the idea was, at least to some extent, executable: it was made of references and had several drawings. Every movement, pose and line she had to lip synch had very specific written observations that tied with sentences and such in TV series, manga, movies, books and even real life people such as celebrities and politicians. In face of such bizarre script one cannot help but wonder if what brought Kouma Yon and Shiina Ryo together was not something particularly deep and poetical but the fact one of them is so derivative she cannot do anything without comparisons and the other has an insane crave for knowledge especially of the pop culture variant: maybe the initial spark of their relationship was indeed because they were, for each other, the only ones who could fully understand what the other was talking about.

I could comprehend that well, creating a bond over being extremely similar in one particular aspect. Surprisingly, I could even rationalize how Kouma managed to make a script with such a tremendous degree of descriptive information about my actions embedded in it.

This was only possible because Kouma’s ability was pretty specific.

She called it ‘It Keeps Happening’ and stated that the moment she activated it like I did she found out it worked like this: every time she sleeps she creates/overwrites her ‘save point’, to which she can return her mind to but not her body or any items. Kouma wakes up at the exact same moment that she did after using her power but once she sets a ‘save point’ by waking up, she cannot go back to a previous one ever again. Thus as long as she stays awake she can always use her ability to revert time on a personal level and rewrite the timeline.

Which did not, in any way, seem to match the alternative explanation she gave the other girls, that her power was to predict the future and ‘expel’ the script for someone. Whether she lied to them because we didn’t have the time to explain or because of a special reason she had not to be open about her power, I would just play along. Maybe it was a secondary effect of her time travelling power, I could not tell.

''Personally, I find that all to be a little tricky.'' 

Why exactly? I’d like to have your input on this.

''It’s obvious she’s something else, for she mastered her Shugoshin already to a point there isn’t a trace of it other than the power.'' 
''However, to do all that on the first time?''

Mastered her Shugoshin? So she doesn’t get voices in her head anymore?

''Don’t assume everyone does just because you do: my species isn’t known for sentience, or at least what you humans would consider sentience.''

What do you mean, then?

''Consider this: let’s say I am not the only of my species who actively thinks and talks, especially to the human host, and the other one is just like me.''

But it would be using the same logic you just condemned!

''Not precisely and it’s just a postulation so no need to get that upset: if I did not inform you of the full extent and limitations of your power yet, why would hers?''

…do you really want answers?

''Possible solutions.''

Alright then. How about ‘different personalities’? No, you talk too much about species, chances are you’ll disregard that and say you guys work on some sort of ant-like communist regime or something. Would it be too far from the truth to assume our powers were supposed to just keep developing instead of being stable from the start?

''You really can avoid seeing possibilities that are in your face when you don’t want to.''

Paranoia can be used against you too. Thinking bad of one of my ‘best friend’ persons is bad enough; two would be too much stress to handle at this point. Unless I acquire enough evidence for it to sink in as slowly as it can to avoid the complete shock, I’ll deny it with all I have.

“Shin-tsu.” Kouma uttered to bring me back from my internal monologue. “It’s time.” 
“Understood.” I coughed on command, trying to get rid of the weird feeling at the back of my throat just to realize it was a psychosomatic symptom. “Standing by, waiting for your command.”

She stood still, visibly uneasy about what to do next.

“Are you sure? I could simply work as a source of data. This plan is a derivation of yours in the first timeline, you know.” 
“Whether it is or not, it doesn’t matter: the shortest the distance between a leader and the information necessary to guarantee the success, the better. You call the shots this time, Kouma; I’ll trust your judgment and follow your lead.” 
“I’ll definitely save you.”

Her bold statement made me ponder on how the events of the first timeline turned out; it shouldn’t be me who would be in danger, and if there was danger directed towards me it probably would be directed to Ryo, which made Kouma’s line even more unusual. She would not put Ryo in danger for my sake, and it was her plan. So what the hell did that mean?

“Wha-” 
“Everyone, on your positions!” Contrasting with the previous uneasiness, Kouma sounded no less confident than a general. “Ryo, go downstairs and wait for the simultaneous call to move outside as planned. Take your medicine as soon as you get there so we’ll have at least one hour before you’re drowsy or in pain.” 
"Aye aye Capt'n!" 

My favorite person in the whole world did an army salute and left.

“Akane, man your station.” She ordered to the silent girl who had already taken the messy fringe of hair out of the way of her hawk-ish eyes and only nodded in reply. The kung fu fighting fashionista then gazed at the easily amused fashion disaster. “Megumi, it’s not too late for you to back out.” 
“I don’t know much about what’s happening but if there’s something huge going on and a friend needs me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Megumi looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up. “Just take me out for burgers later and we’ll be even, okay?” 

She was quick to get angry, reckless, clueless whether it was fashion or business, irresponsible and had double standards; she was also quite normal compared to the others and a good friend who would accept hers gladly and fight anyone for their sake with what little weapons she had. I liked her a lot and was just thankful Kouma’s plan would keep Megumi away from the actual action rather than going back and forth and providing assistance to Akane, or at least away enough that she could not try anything ‘heroic’; it’s people like her, those who look in a way too good for this sinful earth, who die first.

“Shin-tsu.” 
“Yes, Kouma?” 
“Go.”

At which point I ran across the rooftop and threw myself to soar over the fence of the building; thus began the operation.

== Part 3 ==

The reason why I jumped was because I needed to be sure I’d be out of Death Drive’s sight and the only ways I could get to the floor on the side of the building he could not watch were by either breaking down locked doors to get access to the windows or doing what I did: he could not, in any way, see two KEN walking out the building door or the gambit would be ruined.

I used The Darkest in the same way I did inside Ryo’s dream-like subdimension on the first activation, by having the anti-flames in a layer enveloping my body instead of condensing it on a single spot. I guessed it would cushion my fall or at least let me heal faster than normal so I could move unnoticed by an alternative path Kouma had traced for me on a map of the school (and would possibly have hand-waved as part of her ability had I asked about it).

Frankly, my expectations were exceeded: in such short distance of four floors it actually reduced my terminal velocity to nearly nothing mid-air, making me not ‘land’ as much as ‘gently hover’ to the ground. Gravity found a new way to mess with me: just when I started learning about Physics in order to bend Space and Time properly, something like this happens…

It was out of my comfort-zone to say the least.

My first impulse was to look around and make sure that, despite what Kouma Yon told me, there was no one around at the exact time. It did not surprise me to see she was right again, although it was obvious she’d be considering the scripted phone call and all.

After placing the Bluetooth device on my ear I stretched just to be sure my body was okay, not for the first time after the ‘losing an arm’ incident, and started running through the route she drew to me. As I passed by trees and waited precise amounts of time to hurry to the next pre-marked stop while taking care not to slip or fall, as to ensure the timing would remain perfect and I wouldn’t be seen by anyone who didn’t see me in the first timeline which could unleash a chain reaction of magnificent proportions and hellish results.

Scouting to avoid others was easier with the enhanced awareness I had now that my Shugoshin was active: the less I focused on my vision the more I could sense the thermal levels around me and tell the difference, which explained quite a lot on the subject of how Ayaka’s could fight so viciously or the disorientation of the monster in Ryo’s dream-world when I got rid of that particular trace with The Darkest.

There was a lot at stake and I could only wonder if I still had the skill to make something like that happen or, if I didn’t, I could use the new acquired one to ensure the best outcome possible. Thus I began to ponder on it, because if Kouma, Ayaka and even that psychopath guy had somewhat complex ones I should get to consider its limitations to raise my chances of success, which meant saving someone’s life.

If I were to describe it based on appearance, I’d say it was just improbably malleable black anti-fire. Low damage but a lot of variety in possibilities of usage, along with unusual and unlikely sub-effect while being very exhaustive: it was hard to believe my power meant for surveillance alone or long-term fighting.

''Don’t fool yourself, the purpose was clear.'' 
''It was made for you after all.''

If you mean ‘assassination and deception’, I have to argue it’s only half right.

''Like I said, don’t fool yourself: this is tailor-made.'' 
''Just strong enough to kill but not the kind of power you’d bring to a battle if you could help it in most forms, and visually flashy looking enough to keep others away and yourself concealed from the most dangerous enemies’ radar may their eyes not be on you.''

So the reason why my attack power is so limited it’s because it’s a very broad ability?

''Think of it this way: there’s a limit to a Shugoshin’s power and it is inversely proportional to the area it covers.'' 
''The broader your range is in reality warping, the less you will of this limited power spread over the span of it.'' 
''Still with me so far?''

Yes.

''Good, good.'' 
''Now consider that you have to fight others with the same growth potential, probably to death: in a situation like that, what do you think would be the obvious way to spend your points?''

To focus on a particular deathly ability and raise it to its maximum potential compressing all of it on a single point: a better way would be with 80-85% on the specific ability and the rest on a sub-effect, like a ‘blade’ covering a particular area.

''Correct: is your ability one of those?''

No.

''And why do you guess?''

Because I don’t need 80% on the specific power: I just need to be strong enough not to be instantly killed by monsters and to overcome any human, so I can trick and defeat them because that’s how I fight. Therefore I can spend the rest on more valuable effects of it rather than in raw power, which would be a waste in my case. In comparison to the ‘blade’, mine would be more of a ‘bamboo with spikes’; in direct confrontation it would break, but the thing is I am not looking for a clash of weapons.

''You aim for the opponent’s meat.''

That’s exactly where it works just fine, because if I absolutely have to use something like that I’d rather hit just once.

''You mean in battle or in life?''

You know the answer already.

''As always with you, ‘both’.''

The phone I exchanged with Ryo for mine vibrated once and I did not need to pick it up because I knew it was Kouma making sure I was ready for the big halt. For the next 45 seconds I was supposed to stand by until the mass of people would pass and I could move again. Would have been an eternity of moments if I didn’t know that I would be able to see Ryo in action, as this was the one time in the route I was planned to follow when I’d ‘meet’ her.

I watched her walk and gesticulate with my phone in her ear, mostly as I would and sometimes as I should. Seeing her as a part of something like this had a certain appeal I won’t bother to deny even with the danger: it was like she was made for it, and I hoped she was feeling better by then. Sure there was a conflict in her life we did not have the time to talk about yet, but she finally made the transition from normal highschooler to girl with powers who cons criminals; as far as I was concerned, she dreamed about that day for years and envied me for it, although it’s arguable whether she honestly believed what I said or just appreciated the stories. Ironically as it might sound, I wanted her life too.

Everything was going according to the plan.

Ryo had been following Kouma’s instructions; Akane operated with surgical precision the loop pedal with the necessary snippets of my voice; Megumi would stay assisting her and getting the calls from Kouma but she was actually our trump card as she would be our secondary field agent in case something went wrong; Kouma would walk around unnoticed too one step ahead of us every time and ensure the situation would follow the planned route at whatever cost.

However, the moment I realized I thought ‘everything was going according to the plan’ I knew I should have known better than this and got my heart more ready for a disaster than usual and this is coming from someone who lives by ‘prepare for the worst, hope for the best’.

So I stood by.

That’s when I saw Rin approaching Ryo and knew it would all go to hell because Rin did not know that was not me and she had a certain look on her face as she held her father’s hand and went towards the girl disguised as Koukishin Shinzou. I dreaded that face so much.

The ‘teehee, I’m going to introduce you to my parents’ face. And it’s not just girls who do that kind of stuff, acting mature and cold to hide insecurity or more specifically the fear of rejection, so I couldn’t really blame her. Regardless of gender, some people are just closer to our conceptions of ‘maidens’ at heart than ‘commanders’, although nothing says one cannot be both. But Rin was one severely repressed broken bird and I could tell the cathartic performance and sickly sweet talk with her father gave her and injection of positivism and endorphin rush.

Of all times, she had to act like a love-struck teenager at that point: when lives are at risk, when I’m dealing with all sorts of trouble, when I had lost a very important thing to me, while she knew I had unfinished business with someone else. She had to pick today, because she was in a better mood than usual, to make her move. Rin had to choose this day to be like that. This only made me think of how Rin’s constant need to impose the mood was because she couldn’t just read it and that was the only way she’d know what was going on.

But what bothered me the most was to read her father’s lips from distance as they got closer and I could only try and predict what would happen at the moment she’d wonder why there was a girl wearing the clothes of her romantic interest and looking exactly like him while ruining the plan’s perfectly synchronized timing.

“…Rin, did you say Koukishin?” 

Yeah, I should have considered that even in a smaller city, as long as I’m in Japan some people might know the name ‘Koukishin’. That could mean a lot of trouble.

While I was busy trying to figure out a way to get us out of that situation without making everything so far be a waste a flash of colors, albeit slightly less colorful than usual, passed by and did something that affected us all.

It is always a matter of perspective.

I saw Megumi kiss Ryo and ruin the plan in great scale while doing her best so it wouldn’t be ruined by someone else; Ryo’s eyes opening in complete shock, still too lacking in field experience to know that the fictional rule of ‘whenever there is a plan in sight something is bound to go terribly wrong’ actually applied to reality as well; Akane probably saw something that angered her in a way, but implied she’d have a chance in the future because Megumi did not seem entirely adverse to kissing girls; Kouma was bound to be murderously furious by now one way or another and in the most potentially damaging example of all, Rin saw a Shin-tsu she would approach being taken in the way she wanted the most by someone who could not rival her in class, leadership or guitar playing.

I guess rich people get heartbroken too.

Knowing just thinking that made me a horrible person inside, I watched her consternation-filled eyes with a similar look her father gave her. It was stupid of her to expect more when the boundaries were established; it was idealistic to think something that started so wicked and wrong could become a proper relationship despite its roots. No one said teen rebellion is all sweetness, and there is a reason why growth is necessary. I still felt bad for her to get that kind of shocking view but at the same time I knew she had it coming one way or another. Not a matter of ‘what’, but ‘how’.

Rin didn’t run away crying, instead just staying there and looking back as he guided her away on the opposite direction back to what was left of the festival. Megumi ran while picking up her phone soon after the kiss, like it was a hit-and-run operation. Ryo just stood there but picked up the phone when D.D. called ‘me’ once again.

And this, well, this is when stuff got really, really weird.

In case things went out of script, the calls should be transferred to the phone I was holding so I could improvise lines for damage control. No one eve worried about my talent to do so, and not just because I took pride in being able to perform impromptu whether the subject was music or life, but because when I said ‘it was just something I came up with at the spur-of-the-moment’ I meant ‘I pondered over every possible scenario ever beforehand like every good comedian or performer should’.

You don’t just go on a stage and play whatever is on your mind, you execute combinations of riffs and licks you trained for quite a while altering them to fit the musical scale and overall idea of the composition; if it truly was randomness they wanted, any member of the audience would do. Improvisation took a lot of preparation.

I was ready for anything Death Drive could throw at me and all Ryo had to do was make sure he wouldn’t notice her lips weren’t in synchrony with the voice as it was a three-way call with her end muted. Well, almost anything.

His scripted line didn’t change at all, as if it was pre-recorded.

I panicked and felt like hanging up immediately, but managed to keep it until the exact point where the conversation was supposed to break on the script. I knew for sure that was virtually impossible: Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect simply do not work that way. It was absolutely preposterous to consider things would go smoothly on track after Megumi’s intervention, to the point where only bad time-travel novels would ignore the change in pace.

Let me say this once and for all: there is no such thing as a clean and easy time travel plot, under no circumstances. The moment you act outside of what was supposed to, the whole scenario is bound to change sooner or later because of cause and effect, like dominoes falling one by one. Hell, even having anyone who didn’t help me in the first timeline collaborate with us now was bound to affect the scenario quickly, for they would not be where they were and that would affect the actions and reactions of other persons as a direct consequence shaping the world into something unpredictable.

To have Death Drive say the exact same line despite all that change made this whole thing entirely unbelievable.

While a ripple in the water takes a while to affect something in large scale, no one with a brain could deny a disturbance like that had to make things go off script, because a) he saw something he didn’t in the first timeline, which would alter the course of information on his brain and b) the timing of the plan was done for and unless he had a script of his own to follow. Yet such an impossible ‘coincidence’ took place therefore it was safe to assume the game had to be even more rigged than I initially thought. Whom it was supposed to help… now that was an absolute mystery.

It’s times like this I hate mystery even without capital letters.

No matter how much I didn’t like the idea of even pondering on the subject, Kouma could have easily set me up. It made sense. She could have been sided with Death Drive to begin with or even planning to catch the two of us, killing two birds with one stone. A two-way trick; I trusted her to some extent, but they don’t call it a ‘confidence game’ over nothing.

But the silliest thing I could do at that point was to quit.

“Kouma, he’s cheating.” I said when she picked up after two and a half rings. Guess she didn’t see this one coming. “He might be really killing her and getting ready to escape right now. Hell, she might be already dead.” 

And it would be my fault.

“How do you know?” 

Naturally a lie came to mind.

“Feedback.” 
“What?” Kouma’s voice was getting breathy. “What do you mean?” 
“I heard feedback from the noise that happened by my side on his end. He’s not holding the phone anymore; it’s on speaker mode now. It wasn’t before so I take it Death Drive probably got his hands busy.” 

Such an obvious perversion of the truth yet if she outright denied its possibility it would be like she walked with a shirt with ‘traitor’ written all over it. Her reply was unimpressive.

“There was no feedback whatsoever, what are you talking about?” 

A creature with no creativity could not do much other than try and buy time. I would not let her, especially if Reikoku-sensei’s life was in danger.

“I’m going in.” 
“Shin-tsu, don’t! You’ll ruin everything! Stick to the pl-” 

But I hung up and ran fast enough to feel my lungs burning before she could say anything else. I knew it would ruin her plan that was supposed to protect us all, but I’d do it. I’d walk into his trap. Why?

Because ‘me finding out the scheme’ was certainly not in her calculations one way or another, but there was a possible outcome that would save Reikoku-sensei even if Kouma was actually being honest. It was simple, crude and effective.

All I needed to do was to assassinate Death Drive.

“GUH!” 

The taste and texture of bile filled the inside of my mouth and escaped it a millisecond before I could cover my lips with my crossed hands. I burned feverish and felt excruciating pain in every muscle or joint I had, my mind wavering and heart pulsing like a collapsing temple. As I watched the world spin around me I knew it was hopeless; if that was how broken I was, if that was how I got whenever I just considered murdering someone not possessed by an entity…

…I would only have one shot.

''Waiting for your command.''

“Huh.” I spit the vomit on the ground and bit my inferior lip hard enough to feel my canines pierce it. “SET ME ABLAZE, THE DARKEST!”

Halfway the growl the body of the young man some knew as Koukishin Shinzou was entirely embraced by the ghastly absence-of-flames and, as if watching someone else, I saw the position of my hands turn from wide open to claws. Anatomically speaking, my body contorted to an aerodynamically improbable wolf-like stance before I let myself run like the predator I needed to become for that sinister task I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform without losing my sanity over it.

The psychosomatic effects never stopped afflicting me and every step was grief, but I had the strength to keep on moving in me; where I was getting it from, I had not the faintest clue. And even without Kouma I could have found out on my own exactly where the egomaniac monster would hide and that was where I was heading. The room in the school he’d claim was made for him. The room that belonged to a club that was no longer.

The one with a plaque that had ‘d.m.c.’, the initials of both his birth name and our club, written on it.

An unpleasant coincidence, very much like me getting there and realizing the plaque was no longer there. He saw it, knew I’d look for it and probably took it somewhere else in the building to make sure I’d follow him.

Which I would instantly if I didn’t have to get Megumi out of my way for her own good.

“Bro, what the heck is going on? When that Kouma girl called I thought she was going to chew my… but yeah, she just wanted me to come here and meet you. She said you needed help.” No, Megumi, Kouma wanted you to delay or stop me. “What can I do?” 

Kouma knew it was too dangerous for Megumi to come along. Of all of us Megumi was, against all odds when it came to looks, the most ‘normal’ and defenseless one: even without powers, Akane was paranoid and sneaky enough to be dangerous. What could Megumi do, really? Annoy the guy with bass music she didn’t use the correct nomenclature for? It was just electro house, for Heaven’s sake: adding wobble bass and random samples does not change the genre.

“That’s right, I need your help.” Denying it would only make it harder for me. “Do you still have that golden paper clip?” 
“Wait, dude, that was months ago.” 
“Do you?” 

She quickly searched her bag and it didn’t surprise me that someone as obsessed with oddities (because even though the story about her eyes is probably true, it’s obvious she developed a taste for the weird over the years) would keep an object like that around.

“Here; what are you going to do, pick a lock?” 
“Kind of. Give me your phone too. Don’t have the time to explain.” Cutting her way of communication with Kouma would help me avoid undesirable surprise, but even when she handed me the phone I made sure to check if it was set to vibrate and held it on my back so she wouldn’t hear or see it in case our common friend called. “Need you to make a fuss to get people distracted. Biggest you can without getting caught, ok? Do not get in trouble.” 
“Alright but-” 
“Megumi, now!” 

The colorful girl muttered something under her breath and stormed off clearly infuriated which was expected and understandable: I knew how she hated being ordered but I also knew I needed her to be safe. While I could be sure she was not to take this to heart in the long run, it didn’t make the task any more pleasant. If being an adult meant knowing when to do what you must rather than what you want to, I had been an adult for quite a while and it was absolutely nothing special.

I knew what I had to do then so I reactivated The Darkest to remain as concealed as I could.

As I began to run through the building’s floors looking for the plaque, since finding would probably lead to finding the maniac who took it, I fell the phone vibrating and the moment I saw the name on the screen I pressed the ‘end call’ button to make sure Kouma would know she couldn’t reach Megumi even if she wanted to. Next, I looked at the on-screen clock and decided to do my best to reach Ryo by calling her the exact moment her next synchronized call from Death Drive disconnected to warn her in a way she would know it was really me instead of having Kouma act as an impersonator through text without wasting too much time and gathering unneeded attention not to avoid ruining the plan but to keep the farce to Kouma.

After a disturbing moment of rising desperation the time her line would become free finally came.

The phone in my hand vibrated again as I tried to call Shiina Ryo, but it was Akane this time; the moment I was about to punch ‘end call’ I heard the beep on my Bluetooth ear device and from then on I only had one thing in my mind. 

Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. 

Like a mantra it resonated in me as I saw through her improvisation, once again, derivative; as used in an episode of a certain American television show with a conman as a main character, her tactic now was to stop me from reaching Ryo by cluttering my available phone lines. Most if not all modern phones have the poorly thought, albeit occasionally useful, custom of just making calls pop-out on screen even when you’re doing something else, like dialing a number. The problem, at least in my case, lies in the fact I could not block these calls even if I knew how to in this phone specifically because of the nature of this attack. At that point I could not tell whether she was using both hands to control the phones or tricked Akane into desperately calling Megumi out of concern with emotional blackmail of some sort.

My greatest fear, however, was that Kouma would see an even simpler solution.

Since I had Megumi’s phone, which I was sure Kouma knew by now, she assumed it was in her best interest to clutter both lines with calls I wouldn’t pick up. It was wrong of her to think so and the reason why is that, considering how badly the ‘plan’ had failed and was pointless at this point whether she was an ally to Death Drive or not, she could just go and instead call Ryo, who would pick up promptly. It would make her unreachable to me by any means that weren’t text, and even so it could be said Death Drive took control of the phone lines I had in my possession or had some fake message software or similar. It would make her worry but would keep her under Kouma’s domain.

I needed to save her.

My mind was splitting into several sections as I kept running around the building looking for the plaque and fending off Kouma and Akane’s calls while trying to connect with Ryo until the moment I came across the two of my targets at once: at the same time I found the right door I also heard Ryo’s voice through the earpiece.

“Hello?” 

There was so much I needed to say, but I didn’t have the time. The enemy that held Reikoku-sensei hostage was in front of me and for all I knew she was dying a little more every second I wasted; on the other hand, Kouma was bound to look for Ryo or me and my main concern was that Ryo wouldn’t take me seriously and walk straight into whatever trap Kouma Yon laid, whether it was for just me or not.

''What if Ryo is involved in this scheme too?''

“…” 
“Hello?” She tried again. “Who is this?” 

…isn’t it obvious? Then I’ll gladly die by her hands.

“Abort mission. Stay away from Kouma. Hide now.” 
“Shin-tsu. It is really you.” 

Savvy or not, to get to that extent she probably got text messages already.

“Trust me.” 

Considering whom I was, that sentence sounded absolutely ridiculous. I was a con, a lying demon, a manipulator, a trickster, the last person you should trust especially when on the other side of the fence you have a friend you grew with, who has been there for you when you were sick, who had always loved you one way or another; I was just the other person, the guy from the internet, a glorified stranger who was probably faking it whenever the two of you would talk about any subject and had matching views. I was no one.

“I will.” 

I could feel my heart beat everywhere in my body. Sure, Ryo could have said that and then betray me: I wouldn’t blame her. She made me happy at that time, like I really belonged somewhere. Like I finally had someone even if I had nothing else I could truly call mine.

I felt loved.

So I hung up, held Ayaka’s knife by the blade with my right hand and got myself ready to open the door and throw it at Death Drive giving priority to the head but would be okay with settling for the heart. Due to my own issues, I would probably lose my mind the moment I saw someone be killed by my own hands and, in case I ever did, would probably wake up in a hospital only to be either sent back to the Koukishin clan or a juvenile council if grandpa was finally done trying to give me chances to actually live my life the way I want. Couldn’t say I had no regrets, but it was beyond the point.

“Here goes nothing.”

I slammed the door open with my left arm and walked in the classroom ready to give up my sanity to kill a man who murdered many. I was not, however, ready to see my teacher on a chair covered in irregularly placed barbed wire and something metallic on her head that even before full comprehension made me lose hope and the ground under my feet. When faced with her body tainted in red I realized the anti-flames were gone along with my concentration and whatever resistance to gravity my body could have by standing up.

My knees faltered and I felt to the floor as the bastard laughed.

“Nyahahaha~~!” 

In front of me, trepanation; her perforated cranium still had the drill he used in it. Blood everywhere and it was hard to pinpoint where the dried ended and the fresh began. She remained a perfect portrait of still-life, too beautiful in her peaceful sleep that I could only imagine would be eternal.

We were too late to save her to begin with.

His sadistic laughter seemed to echo inside my brain again and again in a multitude of hellish undecipherable noise. Chalk dust floated visibly because of the light coming across the window. I could not move once again. Insanity rose. One more person died because of me. As I saw Reikoku-sensei’s body I remembered Kouma’s words once again: ‘What if you can’t save her?’ she said regarding Ryo, but the one needing to be saved was someone else. And I failed her. I failed them all and above that I failed myself. 

Reikoku-sensei was serious'''ly injured'''. 

My legs trembled, the knife in my hand wavered, I as a whole collapsed.

“…” 

The murderer tilted his poorly-shaven head while grinning, looking just as much as a half-Japanese Nosferatu as he did one year ago.

“Hey, you’re cross-dressing again! Is it a hobby of yours I didn’t hear of or something?” He said, regarding the time when he chased after Shiina Ryo. “Will we ever meet with you in male clothing?” 
“…” 
“What’s the matter, where are your usual snarky retorts? Cat ate your tongue? The so called ‘greatest of all liars’ can’t handle a little manslaughter?” 
“…” 
“Right, you can’t just kill another person: your little Chinese friend was kind enough to give me the information for free, along with where you were now. She must really, really hate you; can’t blame her, so do I. But to think you’d be stupid enough to tell your location to someone who feels this way about you… Is this all penance to you? You think getting killed will erase the sins you committed? How many lives do you think you ruined so far, you bloody fool? How many times do you think you need to die to make up for it?” 
“…” 
“Me, I’m a criminal: I kill for money or vengeance and it set me aside from modern society because our values differ. My victims, however, are all done with. With my methods, it usually happens while they are already buried so they have time to reflect and despair over what brought them there because I never in my whole life did it without having a reason to, although whether you’d call it a good reason or not is up to debate. They wake up with no hope and I’m sure that after the screaming and trying to claw their way out of it like in the movies they just calm down and realize their mistake. After all, what is a coffin other than a confessional you stay in for a long time?” 
“…” 
“But you, you won’t change despite knowing how bad you are. You really think you are the hero despite all you’ve done to so many; was it just me, I’d be perfectly okay with just killing you and be done with it. When it’s personal I tend to do things quicker because, you see, I don’t get paid extra. I have no illusions over the matter of what I do being evil, but to think that despite your actions you’d walk away unharmed because of your family’s influence while I, a plebeian, would rot in jail for what anyone with a brain would consider smaller penalties... this is what is wrong with this country, no, this world. I know you can be a bastard when you want to, but it was just because of your family. And no, it is not fear I have of you: I despise you as a fellow human. If the rumors are to be believed, you are the most disgusting creature in existence.” 
“…” 
“Well, I’m no hero, but since no one stepped up a scum like me has to do the job. You and your little girlfriend messed with the wrong person because I have no problem putting my life on the line just to set things right according to my standards and while I have the power, my word is the law. She ruined her life the day she crossed my path. You ruined your life the day you crossed my path. The two of you will pay and under these circumstances, I’ll give you special treatment. Be grateful.” 
“…” 
“I will dismember, no, that would be too good for you; what I’m going to do first is render your arms and legs useless surgically so you can feel them and know they are there but not be able to move them. Then I’m going to find Ryo and take the two of you to a room with only a clock covered in duct tape so you will hear it tick but never know the time, and do you know what I’ll do next? Hurt her in every way I can while you watch, and boy, you will watch all of it even if I have to shove caffeine down your throat, cut your eyelids and fill the room with mirrors so you can’t close your eyes or look away. Other than making you a cripple, I won’t lay a finger on you; I’ll give her everything I prepared for both her and for you, including acts that will put me in a different class of criminals.” 
“…” 
“Then, when I break her mind, only then I will give her the chance of killing you for her freedom: the you who watched her pain but didn’t move a finger to help her, the one who is at fault for her suffering this much for countless days. The death she would have gotten if she was alone when she messed with me would have been way cleaner if you weren’t around, and you can be sure I’ll let her know that. It is all on you.” 
“…” 

It was like every little word that flew out of his mouth was handcrafted to make me furious and bring the worst of me to the surface.

“And I win either way, as the disfigured Shiina Ryo marches towards you: if she kills herself you won’t be able to bear with the guilt, and if you are the one who is killed well, then I can just shoot her in the legs before I aim for the face. She did annoy me, so there’s absolutely no way I’ll let her walk away from this just because she cooperated: as everyone in the criminal side, I believe in reduction of penalty only when it applies to me not being behind bars. Those who were wronged know.” 
“…” 

Letting him talk as I recovered from the shock was a good idea. In a few seconds I would get up and end this once and for all. He couldn’t match me in close combat, especially with The Darkest on me. The environment was favorable. He didn’t bring a gun or such, while I had a room full of weapons even if you ignore Ayaka’s knife. The chairs, the chalk, the floor, the desks, the windows, the curtains, the wood corners, the walls, Megumi’s golden paperclip, cell phones, hair extensions barbed wire, Reikoku’s body, my own body, The Darkest, oxygen, carbon, gravity, the world and everything in it I could reach for: humans saw most of them as objects, persons or immaterial concepts, but when I was like that they were all tools and weapons and all mine on top of that. It would not be a fight: I hated the idea of fights deep down. It would be one-sided murder and I would make it happen even if I had to use my beloved teacher’s corpse as a human-sized club to beat him to a pulp.

If the room was ‘all weapons’ there was only one target to destroy.

“I won’t let you forget it’s all because of y-” 

A brick came flying, piercing through the window and landed along with shards of glass right between Death Drive and me, intrusively coming from the side very much like a ball in a foosball table. Ironic, as I felt the game was set a long time ago.

I looked out the freshly-made hole in the glass window and saw the not-so-distant sniper hanging from a tree, raising her fist against the sky like the world’s most accomplished pitcher and I knew exactly what Megumi could do.

The unpredictable action took us both by surprise and distracted the maniac for long enough to someone I knew to come inside the room through the door, crouch by my side, run, step on a chair and then a table, kick it rather than merely jump, propel herself like a falling star and reach the killer with the speed of lightning and an unidentified object in her left hand that made my gaze go to the floor searching for the knife I dropped.

When I heard the fizz I understood why Kouma had a second phone and the violent convulsion Death Drive had when it landed on the side of his neck.

The model was unknown to me but not the concept so it was easy to recognize an electroshock weapon (also known as ‘stun gun’) disguised as a mobile device. One could argue she was not using it to its original purpose, or at least the one the fabricant claims is the ''raison d’être'' in order to avoid federal eyes: to me it was absolutely obvious she did not buy the object for self-defense. Hell, she knew martial arts well enough for that purpose; this was another weapon of hers, which concerned me even more as I wondered about the effects of electricity on the foe that was now twitching on the ground.

He had a pacemaker.

“Rest assured, Shin-tsu, I read studies on this: pacemakers don’t seem to be affected by stun guns. It amazes me how deep your personal issues go, to worry about the life of someone who performed trepanation on your beloved teacher even though you were considering sacrificing your mind in order to kill him yourself.” Reading my mind not for the first time that day, Kouma Yon looked at me and spoke carelessly. “I told you I would save you. I just didn’t tell you it would be from the killing instinct within yourself and the consequences it would have on you because of your childhood trauma.” 
“…she’s dead.” 
“No, his ability is very similar to thanatosis: it’s slightly more complicated than I am currently willing to explain but he basically feigns death as in ‘playing possum’, his or someone else’s as long as they are at touch range. Not entirely unexpected, considering his history and even his Freudian nickname. Based on animals that use the technique I can see a few possible defensive and offensive applications for it, which apparently he couldn’t. Such a waste of potential is unforgivable; what other creatures could do with that skill is left to imagination. According to you, I have absolutely none, but even I can comprehend a naturally passive-aggressive predator would benefit greatly from the possibility of being able to both mimicry and render the prey defenseless.” 
“Kouma, listen to me. She’s been out of his touch range for a moment now.” It was ridiculous how quickly I could find myself pressured rather than merely willing to get others out of denial when I didn’t have the strength to do anything for my own life. “She’s dead.” 

I felt absolutely ridiculous. The boundary of not being able to withstand the sight of murder, despite of being strong enough to incapacitate me immediately and for days on its own, could easily be overcome by the craving to save others? No, not even save; just wanting to get Kouma out of denial was enough, but it shouldn’t be. Was this what my late teacher was talking about, on the whole Messiah complex topic? Morals, traumas and stigmas could be just thrown away amidst the worst conflict to avoid having someone get hurt on a much smaller scale than I was?

At some point I became everyone’s peon.

“She’ll wake up. Poison dripping off the small needles that he materialized on his fingertips is how he did it, which is more realistic and understandable than applying hallucinatory effects to a paper card. It should be off her system soon so don-” Kouma’s speech was interrupted by a single cry from the woman I assumed was dead, followed by feverish shivering that worried me greatly because the screw was still inside her head and could damage her further if she moved too much. The kung fu fighting fashionista just looked at my teacher who stopped altogether to move but still breathed loudly enough to reassure me of the fact she remained alive. “There we go. That should stir up anyone nearby so we can count on some more police and hospital calls, which shall be beneficial to us.” 

Death Drive started getting up.

“Ju…just who are you?” 
“I see you know Shin-tsu and Ryo, but we haven’t been introduced yet: within my boundary I am the god of possibilities.” Her eyes were expressionless but at that moment she emanated a force so overwhelming I felt my legs shake. Kouma really was something else. “My name is Kouma Yon and more important than Kung Fu, I know Psychology.” 
“And who cares? You got in my way too, so you’re dead no-” 
“I also know you are trying to bait KEN into killing you over what, soon after doing it, he’d realize out was nothing. The moment when this ability of yours becomes no more a disability has come, for unlike the other times you used it to coerce someone into something the third element knows how the magician’s hat trick works. This was meant to be a masterpiece, wasn’t it? To fool the lying demon who caught you in a way he could never get back at you even if there was a way he would recover from needlessly killing a human being once more. A sick joke funny only to yourself, right? You could not expect anyone to see through this, right? But now he knows too much for it to work. He might not be able to see the whole picture but he won’t kill you now and that’s all you wanted of him in the end. Even I have a considerably bigger chance of getting killed by him right now than you do.” 
“…how do you know all that?” 

She took a deep breath.

“Well planned time travel and analytic skills alone. You could have done it: you actually made it the first time and it got him insane just like you wanted to. In the first timeline, he almost killed me after going berserk and that was how I learned about my own power. You were going to win against him but you didn’t. You lost once again: your will is meaningless because like I said, I am god within these boundaries. Fighting me is futile, I will defeat you every time and cheat whenever you get close to win. Every movement and idea of yours are mine. So try me. Come at me if you think you’re fast enough to attack before I travel back in time once again with the information of the precise kind of blow you will try to land or cunning trick you’ll play, other than how to get to it by triggering all the right flags once again. At this point, I am invincible. You think you’re going to mess up with the mind of my favorite test subject?” Kouma Yon gave him her grimmest grin. “Not on my watch.” 

Death Drive was stunned and he was not the only one.

“You… you little piece of… you ruined everything, goddamn bi-GAAARGH” 

Just like that, Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier, also known by the self-imposed nickname of Death Drive, died of a heart attack in front of our eyes. Which was ridiculous and ironic but also definitive and undeniable.

Therefore I crashed for good.

In a moment that could easily have lasted forever in my altered perception I stood there not doing a thing until Kouma set my body in movement forcefully. She slapped me across the face so fast I took a moment to comprehend what exactly had happened and as I fell to the floor she ran back to Reikoku-sensei’s side in order to provide her primary care.

Her attention did not waver as she lectured me.

“Cut it out. You cannot blame yourself for this: it’s not your fault that he followed you here and attacked us, and it’s not your fault he died. You didn’t do this. However, if you waste our chance of saving this woman because of that trauma of yours instead of manning up and taking care of an innocent person who has done nothing but try and reach out for you when you were down, in my eyes and yours you will be a murderer.” Kouma Yon finally managed to stop or at least limit the hemorrhage a good 4 seconds after she was done talking. Her eyes were serious and tender simultaneously, raw and alive as an animal’s; whether it was my altered perception or her own growth, I couldn’t tell. “So don’t give in, Shin-tsu. Stay with me. I need you.” 

And there it was: the line before the bass drop, the growl before the breakdown. A conman’s hook.

I bit and licked my inferior lip hurting it once more and felt the taste of blood acting not for the first time as a reality check for me.

“…tell me what I have to do next.” 

Kouma’s confusion didn’t show in her face but in her taking five seconds to give me a reply.

“I beg your pardon?” 
“You need me to do what? You’re talking to me in simpler terms like you learned to do to connect with me whenever you want me to do something for you, whether it’s answering questions about my psyche or morals or something else. I don’t care whether I’m an experiment to you at this point, just tell me what you want or leave me alone.” 
“This isn’t about you.” 
“I said I don’t care about your excuses right now, save them. You saw a void I can fill somewhere and now you want me to get up and fix something for you. Spill it.” 

I grabbed Ayaka’s knife and got up.

“I never meant to hurt you.” 
“Doesn’t matter; just tell me what I have to do.” 

Walking towards the girl enveloped by the newborn sunset that came through the crack she made in the glass.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” 
“Tell me what you want.” 

When she looked me with her once again cold eyes I clenched my fist tighter on the weapon’s handle by reflex.

“I really love you.” 

The last straw she needed to pull.

“Say that one more time and I’ll kill myself in front of your eyes. I’m tired of being told that and then be left alone: no more. Is this what you wanted from the start? Was this part of your plan, you godforsaken beast? Because if yes, go on, I dare you. Hell, I want you to do it. I’m right on the edge here. It’s all on you, girl.” Knife against my throat, my breathing so hard I felt my chest tremble as air moved and emptied my lungs like life was already leaving me every second. I trembled like I was falling apart and was bound to cut myself deep even before she had the time to say anything if I kept unstable like that. “Say it, I beg of you. Give me one last reason. End me.” 

Patiently I waited for her to give me my final command.

“I’m sorry.” 
“…” 
“Shin-tsu, I’m sorry you feel this way.” 
“But not for acting the way you did, do or will do. Which implies you honestly believe you are not in the wrong. And I know you for a fact don’t care about good or evil, but rather about but concepts. Damn.” Gently as I could I lowered the weapon to waist level. The time for my melodramatic act was over as I assured the fashionista was still the creature I thought her to be. It made me aware it was serious business we were dealing with or she would not have gone so far, as it would be too bothersome to do so for the world’s laziest multi-talented being. "Sometimes, just sometimes, I really hate you, Kouma Yon.” 
“Thankfully, just sometimes. I can live with that in mind, like I shall do regarding the fact you would have done it if I said ‘it’ again yet won’t do it now just because I just ruined the moment for you. Double subversion would feel less gratifying to you.” 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“For such a long-time liar, sometimes it feels like you’re not even putting enough effort in it. You too are a disappointment.” 
“Did you learn my craft yet? My so-called ‘art’?” 
“There is no such thing as ‘art’, just ‘art admirers’. And yes.” She nodded as if words were not enough to express the depth of comprehension she achieved. “You can stop pretending you’re not shaken up inside now.” 
“Thank you.” My hands finally dropped the knife. 

I knew I was way too mentally exhausted to make decisions when it got to the point I considered relying on Kouma Yon of all creatures as a moral compass. But when life gives you lemons and they are deathly sour…

“No need to play that role in front of you, good.” The stern look on her face showed no approval, however. “As the few paramedics tried to save me in the first timeline, just before I lost consciousness, I heard a report about the situation on an exploded inter-city bus through their radios: it was supposed to happen around 5 minutes from now, and there were heavy suspicions of terrorism. We won’t get the attention and primary care we need if this happens, and the lack of media coverage for this story might lead to further questioning too. I need you to stop the bomber on the inter-city bus while I focus on keeping Reikoku-sensei alive and setting up the scene to make this look like an isolated incident: having you around could ruin the latter up too.” 

Then it hit me.

“You were going to just let those people die if we managed to stop Death Drive before he caught Reikoku-sensei.” 
“Not now, Shin-tsu. I have priorities and so should you.” 

More lives at stake and now that I knew about it, it was on me. She set me up real good, she did not know for sure I would not be able to reject it yet she bet all her chips on me going out and doing it. I hated myself for not being able to prove whatever unrealistic expectations she had of me wrong, for not being capable to let her down.

Still, I ran.

Fast as I could I advanced, much faster than I could before the Shugoshin was in me but it did not feel fast enough to me: no matter how much I tried, I no longer could bend space and time on command. The Darkest did not need to explain it to me, as I realized how give-and-take the situation was on my own; in exchange for more power I sacrificed potential and there was no easy way to change it back again.

As I ran towards the great fence that separated the eastern area from outer buildings I recognized something that made me stop for a while. Near a small, cabin-like janitor room, there were cameras were different than the ones you saw at schools and hospitals and much more akin to the ones you’d see in secret spy movies: that model was activated by heat, so I could use my skill to pass through unnoticed if I used that area, which would help in case I needed an alibi in the future for I could just say I was still at school while some sort of disaster happened, that is, if I failed.

Awfully convenient, except it was a nightmare in disguise of saving throw.

Pondering over all I knew regarding Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan, it was obvious where she stored that dreadful item of hers. I wanted to scream at myself and say it could not be, but it was just too likely to deny it no matter how high were the regards I had her in. To even consider she’d possibly keep something like that near her students made me severely nauseous; I was actually glad I had only found out about it because otherwise chances were I would have doubts about going so far for the sake of saving her life.

When I found myself standing up on the top of wall close enough to reach the one pertaining to the next building I got my body ready for jumping higher and climbing because for once during that day I knew exactly what I needed to do to reach my goal.

I was going for ''Parkour'', the art of not just moving around obstacles but use them to your benefit for maximum efficiency. Critical thinking was a must. A wall was not there to block my way, just to be my stepping stone: it was all terrain, a world made purely of it. No more limits: it was time for me to stop thinking of common, linear paths to walk in and start running in vectors.

“''Traceur'', on.” 

A jump into nothingness that ended abruptly when my fingertips touched the walls and from that moment on I was one with everything; a single layer of the flames enveloping my hands and foot, so thin it was not much more than pitch black contour wavering like ink but never leaving for real. It made me feel like I was moving on vacuum, which was probably not far from the truth.

By both using it and deactivating it I alternatively propelled and glued myself on the terrain composed of all things over the houses and buildings of that developing town. At the apex of the nearby constructions of concrete picking the ones closer to touch the skies in altitude in order to avoid being seen I moved but instead of feeling as a hunter I was free like an unparalleled, unleashed beast albeit constrained by the time limit: I was simultaneously carefree and worried sick; I loved being alive and I hated myself; I was a being and I was not.

During that moment I got the same impression I had during the fight against Ryo’s Shugoshin, that it all had been preparation for this. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling quite a lot… every little thing feels like build-up to something else, and it’s supposed to be huge.

Very much like the strength of the wind blowing my skirt.

== Part 4 ==

My heart could not decide if it wanted to race or stop fully as the bus was doing in order to pick up more passengers.

Breathe.

The bus was more crowded than I assumed it would be due to it not being a weekday and all, but I guess even in smaller cities people go around and have fun. They didn't consider the risk of being inside a vehicle that would blow up and kill them all due to a sudden terrorist attack; not everyone is like Akane.

Looking at the window I watched both the inside and outside of the car for movement while the back door released a bickering couple who would probably get closer if they realized they averted a disaster if I failed to stop the bomber and the front door welcomed anyone who would walk in join those who died in the first timeline and were still at risk in this one.

Of those waiting for a bus I saw some making room for a soon-to-be passenger and the moment I heard the door close I knew there was no coming back.

Breathe.

I recognized the only person who got in the bus within milliseconds despite the trucker hat, jeans jacket and hiker backpack (which I could only assume was her definition of discrete disguise) because it was the one who hated me the most. Lang Shou seemed considerably more than just slightly distressed when she saw me looking at her while dressed in drag. I too was shaken up inside as it was the usual whenever I saw her, which I hadn’t in a while.

Her right eye twitched.

“Pervert!” 

She said in Cantonese, and if I knew her it was probably only to scan if there were any speakers of the language in the bus; if that was the case, they’d probably just start screaming or tackle me. Yes, because of that and not because I was cross-dressing on a bus.

Nothing happened, so I did the obvious.

“Pervert!” I replied to her enthusiastically as if the word was a greeting, and then thought about what addendum in Japanese I’d have to put together with that to make it convincing enough. “It’s nice to see you again, Lang Shou.” 

While her face was clearly a painting of annoyance, the fact she sit down by my side when there were other free places in the bus finished the job of reassuring the passengers that we were the right sort of acquaintances.

Even though we were not.

“…how did you know?” 
“I have my sources. You seem to be everyone else’s.” 

On usual situations I would not be so harsh with her but I was seriously ticked off by the result of her actions.

“There’s nothing wrong with that I do, just means to an end.” 

Irresponsible brat.

“I hope you meant Death Drive’s, because your plan only led to him passing away.” 
“Wouldn’t expect less of you.” Did my best to keep myself from showing emotions when she said that, can’t tell if I succeeded. “But I guess he was pretty useless, failing like that despite being a little more than mildly famous.” 
“You really don’t know anything about this business: an assassin’s job is to be concealed, so whenever someone’s name is out there for people like you to hear it means he might be a good killer but a lousy professional.” 

Scorn was shining clear as day on her face.

“You’d know, wouldn’t you? Murderer.” 
“…” 

There wasn’t much I could say in reply to that.

“What’s the matter, murderer? Is it bad that I call you that, murderer?” 
“…stop.” 
“Or what, will you kill me too?” 
“…” 
“Oh, the little murderer got depressed, boo hoo.” It was not a very big step, from tomboy to bully. “Don’t give me those sad puppy eyes. Even now, you still look like a Shih Tzu dog.” 

Oh, this sure brings back memories: so that’s where I got the nickname from, then. Not that I’ll ever correct the mistake, would be kind of embarrassing after all. I’ll remain using the ‘Shin-tsu, out of two of the same kanji’ excuse. Better than letting it be known so Kouma can refer to me as ‘Puppy-kun’.

I had more urgent topics to address, too.

“So at the end of the day you’d kill yourself to divert the paramedics’ attention but not explode now that you’re here with me? When you could hurt me and me alone?” 
“Hurt you? By killing you? Even now you try to trick me, you lying demon? I know very well that would be bliss, especially compared to what you did to me. You don’t deserve that: I’ll take it out on the ones near you until you are a walking pile of nerves surrounded by corpses you watched growing cold. I will break your mind and heart and I won’t lay a finger on you to kill because I want you to do it yourself to atone for what you did. It will never be enough, the suffering. Whatever you build, I’ll crush it. Forever and always, until you finish what you started and kill me or decide to suicide. Just be aware of this: as long as I am alive you don’t get to live a happy life after what you’ve done, and I’ll make sure of that.” 

That was when I approached her, hugged her tight and released hot breath down her neck to make her shiver, with a superior level of success than I expected to achieve. It was obvious to me she was almost melting as experience dictated. Good to know some things never change.

I held her hand and rested my forehead against hers, looking the girl in the eyes.

“Lang Shou, I am sorry. I can’t take back what I did and God knows I would if I could but you need to realize you won’t gain anything from doing this. This isn’t you, so stop while you can. Please. I don’t want you to suffer a second longer.” My hands ran down her backpack but still delivered the pressure to her body like I wanted them to. Her shivers were strong enough to make me wonder if I had done something to give her a seizure. “I care about you. Either go back to China to your parents or stay here with me; things are never going to be the same, but I can give you a place you can call ‘home’. I am still your friend.” 

Furious, she pushed me away, slapped me and got up but didn’t leave before delivering a dramatic one-liner.

“I hate you.” 

Not surprised: it was the second time I heard that one on that day and she made sure to say it in Japanese before storming off the bus the moment it stopped, but at the very least I did not end up receiving the mother of all beatings from a visually warped version of her in dreamland. Either way, I already had gotten what I needed to.

Personally, I hated pickpocketing. It wasn’t as thrilling as some might assume it could be, because it was more a case of ‘either you know the trick or not’; no room for cunning talk or similar when it comes to the actual thing, just before and after and it kind of beat the point of going unnoticed. It was no fun but as any adult can tell you, life is not always doing what you like to do.

So I stole both the bomb and the detonator from her backpack and now I had to disassemble the bomb before she could realize I did it because she could notice they were missing and try to meet me on the next stop.

Frankly, that was the easier part of the day: Lang Shou was an amateur whose only talent seemed to be getting into trouble still. Her bomb was pretty crude looking (which helped me because anyone who saw it would dismiss it as a toy and not panic) and was built quite poorly on top of that. The detonator was short distance-only and unrelated to the bomb, which would go off around two stops from where she dropped, so one possibility is that she would have tried to blow somewhere else up just in case if I hadn’t been a dirty thief and taken both the red herring detonator and the silly-looking bomb. I have to grant her that she did better than usual in that particular aspect but I could only guess whether it was because she wanted to go down along with everyone or the limit of her design and engineering skills: for all I knew she coulf have mixed two projects she got in books up.

Upon the realization I wasn’t even followed back home I felt lie I could no longer hide my disappointment and let the post-traumatic stress kick in. I wanted to feel despair and rage and get the overwhelming, exhilerating depression out of my mind even if it meant crying and throwing up for days until I got hallucinations due to the deprivation of water and nutrients. I needed to scream at the heart of the world because I could tell I had it in me.

It never came despite the copious amounts of build-up.

Like every single thing that ever happened, the events of that day were ‘proven’ anti-climatic and dull when the hindsight bias was applied; the Historian’s Fallacy made everything obvious and absolutely ridiculous to say the least, and to pinpoint the truth by hypothesizing after the results were known was nearly impossible because most things aside, the simple presence of time travel in a case blurs the lines between cause and effect beyond recognition. Still, one could say that above ‘good’ or ‘bad’, Kouma did ‘right’: the definition of the latter being up to debate. Now, Lang Shou…

...she killed me inside a little more.

It was like a bad joke; to think someone so incapable and inexperienced was willing to try and cause so much damage to so many over nothing, or at the very least nothing that had to do anything with them.

It was a bad joke because it was the exact same with me.

The news reports a week from that day were still all about how a high school girl from a small-to-medium sized town saved her teacher’s life using only a mobile phone with internet access and a handbag’s contents, and it didn’t take them long to dig her up and realize she was the same child prodigy who won some art prizes a few years ago. Instant sub-celebrity; blogs spawned; people would talk to her whenever she walked down the street.

The biggest hospital in the nearby city, where Reikoku-sensei was immediately admitted to and is being kept until she wakes up from her comatose state, even offered Kouma a fully paid scholarship on a college above average and future internship may she choose Medicine as her career. I immediately assumed she was going to accept it for all the wrong reasons, and I could not blame her for that because I could easily see myself doing the same.

That maiden was too a knight and she was 『Ryo’s』. 

== Part 5 ==

“Come in.” 
“Excuse me.” I said, dodging something on the ground that was probably an elaborate trap her cat assembled to keep strangers out. 

As soon as I entered Ryo’s apartment the realization dawned on me; before seeing the image with my own eyes it sounded just like a story from a TV show or a book. It was too surreal for me to accept it as a fact at once, even to someone who is used to the unusual such as me. Still, one could easily tell just from seeing the way the place was a complete mess Ryo’s story matched the environment.

Shiina Ryo’s mother left her house.

The reasons are irrelevant to me because whether it was depression or something else the fact her daughter was left behind remains unchanged. I should not judge without having all information on a subject, but it’s pretty obvious to me it was a mistake and so should be to anyone with a drop of common sense.

You don’t walk away on your teenage daughter.

People her… our age are not expected to live by themselves with no support, in good medical condition or not. Even with the exceptionally good amount of money my family deposits every two weeks I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be okay if I didn’t have the support of Reikoku-sensei, Kouma and Ryo. It takes more than financial stability to make a stable person.

From a mathematician’s point of view it might sound unreasonable but there is another factor, something else we need to function other than the strictly necessary physical resources; I’m not sure if it’s human contact or anything like that, but I’m aware of the fact I wouldn’t be able to live a complete life without their support. Then again, maybe I’m wrong and too young to deal with those matters right now. My best friend is living a situation similar in theory yet completely different in intensity.

I am fully aware of the fact I am not, however, old and numb by apathy enough to be able to ignore the painful silence in this house and just live my life as if it wasn’t my problem.

Both out of curiosity and concern I opened her refrigerator to find only half-empty bottles of water, a piece of fruit so old I cannot recognize which kind and cups of cheap instant ramen, which I presumed to have been her primary meal for the time she lived alone. My heart ached just from imagining Ryo working late on the nearby town to pay the bills her irresponsible mother (and that’s not judging but stating a fact) left for her along with the ones that would come every month, and then coming home to eat an unhealthy, poor excuse for a meal and sleep for a few instants before getting up to diligently go to school in order to avoid suspicious looks from people who love to gossip. With her health as it was she certainly could not afford to have such a routine.

At that moment I realized there are many people in the same situation as hers out there and a lot of people living under much worse conditions, yet what pains me the most is to find out there was someone so close to me living like that while I was completely unaware.

Some could see this as a very strong attribute of hers, to try and go this far without anyone’s help: I think that was selfish of her.

But who am I to blame her for not asking for help? I probably wasn’t even around when this started and even if she told this to Kouma Yon, chances are Kouma’s mother would have just reported this to Child Services or something like that because that is what a responsible law-abiding person should do, technically flawless but the results in practice are not the same you’d expect by following the theory, often much darker instead. Not only that: when I had my own problem in the past my first reaction was running away despite the fact Ryo was the first person I saw right after the whole thing happened so I don’t think I can easily be considered reliable and centered. She was probably too scared to even think, without anyone to help her.

In the end, aren’t we all?

“Shin-tsu, could you come here?” She said, in a low voice that could barely be heard reverberating in the apartment. “I think I’ve got everything I nee-” 

But her sentence was cut due to shock but the apparently fated silence was avoided by the fall of the box she had been holding onto, and it was definitely my fault. The reason for that reflex was my sudden movement in her direction and the subsequent action, holding her in my arms as what I imagine to a father embracing his children after they got hurt. Perhaps the strength I used was a little bit more than I intended, possibly because she was not the only one with parental issues.

“It’s okay, Ryo. You can let it out now. I'm here.” 

I expected and almost wished her to say one of her extremely long speeches full of data or have a retort that was both witty and innocent but her reply was awfully short, almost minimalist.

“…thank you.” 

And then she cried in a rather loud, impolite and tangibly honest manner for a while.

Later when Shiina Ryo decided she had cried enough to be able to stand it, Akane’s mother was sensible and drove us around without making many, if any questions. The path travelled by the van seemed not only melancholic but empty as if the only thing in the world who felt like talking was the delivery car’s motor that resonated soundly and accentuated the shades of grey present in every street.

When we were carrying the final boxes to my place I was approached by our hippie driver, who not as much as offered but forced me to accept a certain amount of cash out of her eco-friendly wallet I was pretty sure she could not simply spare. I tried again and again to say we would be fine because I had some extra money, but she made me take it out of kindness and care. Few would be able to go that far to help strangers these days, regardless of their beliefs and views of the world.

It was definitely not a question of trust, because she trusted us enough to give us money she worked hard to make but not enough to believe me when I said we had the financial situation under control. Sure, sometimes it’s hard to ask for help or even accept the kindness of semi-strangers.

Perhaps I am being biased as Kouma said I was once again, but her individual altruistic action made me consider a hypothesis I have long ignored: perhaps there is a chance mankind still has hope. I might be wrong and believing that might be a mistake, but that is a privilege the young are given.

Like this thing I’m doing.

Bringing a female friend to live with me might be a mistake, both of us being pretty broken as human beings, young and not having an adult to look after us in the house. Still, even if it turns out to be an error in the long run, I have to do it now and probably won’t regret a thing.

Not out of gratitude or romantic feelings but out of something I could not yet define and probably never will. There are things better off unnamed and unspoken.

…no, it’s too late for that.

Overlooking things on purpose and at command is an acquired skill used mostly to avoid red herrings and mind control. My version of it has saved my life a few times and probably got into someone else’s path many others. To live through life as if only my life matters and seeing others as either obstacles or peons is not the prettiest way of seeing this world but I’m sure there are worse ways. Not that it justifies every ugly action I might make to achieve what I wish for, but then again I never claimed to be a good or bad guy.

Thus I will help her out of egoism.

Because making her happy makes me happy, because knowing she suffers hurts me, because comforting her when she is sad soothes my heart as well. More than relate to, she understands me and vice-versa. I don’t even regret coming here, despite all the trouble we have been put through so far, because deep down I know I like the way Ryo and the others make me feel in general.

Thus, I will keep acting so their reactions will bounce back hard enough to generate reactions in me too. One way to look at this situation is to believe that’s how human relationships do work and thus I am not being wrong or a bad, just seeing this whole thing the wrong way because of my wicked, broken and rather cynical view of life, byproduct of years of inconstancy.

There is no way for me to see it like everything is so black-and-white simple; I am just not that optimistic.

Love, in any form, is a flawed concept in my opinion so I say let’s leave it at egoism, and at least for now my word is final; not because I can’t feel any love, but merely because I cannot bring myself to believe in it so easily. Not to say I deny its existence, but I can’t just believe it like you can’t trust a travelling vendor with magical beans smiling his face off. But then again, who’s to tell? Maybe it is an honest fellow...

I'm more than quick to run away but not one to know when to stay, thus I shall learn to balance between those two or get caught in another net. As long as I rely on others to save me things will never be okay, so I’ll let Time test Love and tell me the results before I make any deals I might regret.

== Part 6 ==

Obligatory time skip.

Every day I went to the hospital to visit Reikoku-sensei, hold her hand and read her the news or a novel even though the doctors told me, half-heartedly for it wasn’t in them to crush a highschooler’s apparent idealism, that her brain was far from operational at that point and it was very unlikely that she could receive any of the information, let alone recover.

The nurses were a lot nicer to me after it was clear I wasn’t romantically involved with her or anything, thinking I was some sort of angel-like student and I could see them tearing up whenever I gave them a bittersweet smile after a whole afternoon and twilight of being there and leaving for another inter-cities travel.

Sadly I felt a great amount of guilt despite knowing she was ready for an outcome even worse than this. It was my purgatory, to watch her alone. On a particular day, however, I went there with company. The three scheming students whose Pyrrhic victory resulted in her vegetative state: Kouma, the derivative polymath; Ryo, the splitting designer; and me, the vague executor.

Anomie, ambiguity and ambivalence sitting in a hospital room.

Without us asking like the last time she went out to buy us something, Kouma left with the promise of bringing three coffee cans. Instead of talking to Ryo immediately, I knew better than to trust the fashionista to just leave us alone.

My instincts were right.

I caught Kouma looking at us by using the many pieces of metal and glass present in the hospital as mirrors like Akane did and then something became painfully obvious to me. The reason why it was possible Kouma Yon would able to save me by moving her mind back in time just once without her lack of presence in the second timeline at the places she was in the first affecting the outcome, against all odds that exist in such a scenario is so simple and bland my mind just ignored automatically. A bias of mine.

She knew every little thing and every single move I’d make because she watched me from very close.

All.

<center>The.</center>

 Time. 

Honestly, I did not know what I should do in the light of such evidence and the reason was simple.

It was a lie of hers; whenever a con tells you it’s all over, doubt.

Kouma saying it was the first time she travelled back in time was absurd. No matter how good she was, she simply could not do it properly the first time. Not to that extent, no sir, she couldn’t. I knew she couldn’t create anything from scratch, so how could she come up with a plan like that in one day when it was hard to believe she would be able to do in a lifetime? Wasn’t it safe to assume her absolute lack of creativity was what got her ‘stuck’ with Ryo in the first place, too? The only logical explanation I could see was that her plan was a combination of several she has seen through the several timelines she has been in while searching for the best possible outcome.

Considering how things turned out, it wouldn’t surprise me in any way if even the flaws in the plan, in making me take the lead by telling me I shouldn’t, in having Reikoku-sensei harmed even were all just a well-done mix-and-match game for her. If the latter was true, the hypocrisy in having her there in the hospital room would be overwhelming and I was prone to reacting with violence...

…unless there was a good explanation to go so far as putting our teacher into a coma. After all, assuming she has gone several times back in time and this is the best scenario it goes without saying that for some reason the other ones must have been, at the very least in Kouma’s point of view, worse outcomes. She did see herself as a limited god beyond morals, so it was not much of a stretch, to assume she'd deliver a simultaneously preemptive and retroactive sentence as an all-knowing judge with the power to stop tragedies. What I needed to know was whether a tragedy for Kouma Yon was the same as a tragedy for all of us or if I was within range of a powerful enemy.

Either way I had a sure mode of testing it once and for all.

“Kouma, Ryo. Listen.” I said, going in for the kill; the stakes were high enough to ruin all that had been building up but I just wasn’t done with the game yet. “I have to tell you guys about Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan.”

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin

2012-04-30T19:42:04Z

Ryuno: Gentlemen, this is actually unedited. I apologize for taking so long, but the reason why I'm uploading it like this is to avoid taking any longer. Corrections are welcome and most likely needed. Hope you enjoy this!

== Part 1 ==

After a month and a dark and really stormy night came the Festival, along with anxiety and stress. Specifically because of the ‘stormy’ part. 

We needed our synthesizer backing tracks because, well, not one of us could play keys and especially not while playing any of our primary instruments. Still, the programmed lines added a lot to the intricate quality of the music and it would be very detrimental for us if we had to perform live without them, especially because that’s how the songs were recorded on our EP which would be launched after the show but was already in our respective playlists for the past two weeks. 

The files got really heavy on the CPU and to export them the first time for the EP was hell, but having to do it again just for the synthesized tracks would not be much better. The reason why everything was because we, instead of doing it track by track, decided to arrange it in the way we would perform it in the set, one after the other. Therefore we assumed it would be okay to leave the computer on for the 12 estimated hours exporting the file. 

It wasn’t. 

The storm was strong enough to bring three fast intercalated blackouts. We were all at our homes when it happened which resulted in a lot of texting going on, but we all hoped that despite the obvious reset and having to restart the process all over again in the morning, the medium-priced No-break would take most of the damage and leave the computer with the project files unharmed. 

It didn’t. 

Now Megumi was gone, as she stormed out the door saying ‘I have a plan’, Akane was sulking, Rin was angry at the school, at the electric company and the heavens. I did my best to keep them together and functioning, and to some extent, succeeded in it. Most of our EP work was dead for good but we still had the mixed and mastered files on our mobile phones, personal computers and music players and also on the server of the Finnish audio engineer we hired; maybe we couldn’t post stems of it so it could ever be reworked it in the future and the live performance would sound really empty compared to the recording but it wasn’t the end of the world. 

It was actually a good story for the future. 

Megumi came back one and a half hour later with a loop pedal so we record sections of audio and play the loops by just stomping on it, which would help us give the songs more body because we could just record the parts that before belonged to synthesizers with the guitars, regaining some of the ambience we achieved on the EP. The rainbow girl said she borrowed from a friend, but I managed to see the pawn shop ticket before she could hide it and I knew very well she had only one personal possession she could trade for this. 

Her acoustic guitar. 

I called Rin for a private talk so I could provide her that information and she agreed, even though that involved telling her father about the whole band thing, to get Megumi’s guitar back immediately. We came back to the room and started working on rearranging and tracking the loops for the best performance we could bring with those limited resources and were surprised by how, with some effects, it sounded much less cluttered and alive this way. 

And then, when we were done celebrating, Rin proclaimed something that made me snap. 

“I want you all to give your very best tonight. It shall be Saris’ first and last performance, after all.” 

The shock made me sure my hearing comprehension had failed for a moment. 

“Wait, what?” 
“Surely you heard correctly, Shin-tsu.” She spoke in monotone. “This band will be over as of the end of ''Ars Finita''.” 

The other members made no objections and it only made me angrier. It was obvious, they all knew this was coming. 

“…why are you doing this?” Frustration building up. “I thought you guys enjoyed this as much as I do!” 
“We do.” Said Akane in a surprisingly audible voice. 

Megumi faced the ground and started talking. 

“These have been the happiest days of our lives too, Shin-tsu.” 
“Then why?” 
“Because these days will not last.” 

Fury took over me when I heard Rin utter that. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 
“I am graduating soon and you cannot possibly expect me to live this rebellious ephemeral dream for much longer, especially as an adult. My family and its company will need me someday soon and playing technical music will not get me ready for this responsibility, so there’s a huge chance I will move soon to study abroad. I am terribly sorry if I led you all on, but then again I was fooling myself too.” She took a melancholic pause. “And even if you keep this without me it’s only a matter of time before something similar happens, albeit different in scale, to Akane and Megumi, who are older than you and going to graduate next year.” 
“But that doesn’t mean everything should just end! You guys are overreacting!” 
“Yes, but what would come next, then? Playing occasional gigs on bars while settling for part-time jobs you believe are ‘temporary’, becoming the casuals you all deep down loathe so much until you do not have time or interest to rehearse or talk to each other anymore? Perhaps trying to be a full time band but failing miserably for years because your style of music simply does not sell, and then realizing you wasted years that could have been used with self-improvement and studies in order to have an actual career like everyone we went to high school with and their little brothers? Or selling out and hating yourselves every single day for not being able to succeed by playing fair and doing what everything you are able to? Even the best case scenario for us is to somehow go major with our own music style but eventually degenerating into predictable, uninteresting trash as the time went by.” 
“And your alternative is to kill the unborn, to give up while we’re ahead? That’s the coward way out!” 

One bar pause. 

“The soldiers who die at war are seen as brave by some, but in my opinion they were just as scared as the others who managed to come back. There is no glory in failure.” Rin was once again sharply calm, the most infuriating sight possible to me at that moment. “My alternative is to let this be what it really is: a rebellious ephemeral dream that will end up exactly as good as it started specifically because it ended shortly after it started, without having the time to become a flawed execution of the initial concept. Something we can be proud of and share the longing of it till the day we die: a band made of never-ending nostalgia for us to dream about.” 

That was the last straw for me but when I looked around and saw my other two band mates were showing no signs of resistance as I did to Rin’s ideas and views on morals I felt like I was the only one trying to save a sinking boat. Unfortunately, no matter what I said, I could not fully disagree with them. We all took music too seriously and ourselves to let it slide to the status of a hobby but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, which would be already hard considering the kind of music we played. 

“So, is this it? You’re all quitting on us? This was supposed to be influential and huge! Are you telling me we wasted time and effort on this just so we could self-produce an EP and make a single live performance? Have you all gone insane?” 

They all looked disappointed, but I couldn’t tell if they felt this way about me or themselves. This kind of drama was less the end of a band and akin to a bad breakup. 

“That is a conceptual mistake: it is never ‘time wasted’ if you enjoy wasting it, Shin-tsu. I too fell in love with this project but I cannot afford to remain like that any longer if that is going to be in my way, and ultimately neither could you. This would only hinder us: no matter how much potential they have, high school bands never last long.” She looked into my eyes and for one moment I assumed Rin would break down too. “One can see this is not only about the band for you, but either way you will have at some point in life to learn to let things go.” 

My mask and inner layers were directly hit and broken at that point. Was this what it was all about, letting things go? Why was it easy to everyone but me to just accept it as a memory, to sacrifice important things for something that wouldn’t last? Were they all idiots? 

“…but how can I?” No longer in control of myself and without the strength to lie all that was left for me was to join them as an spectator of my own monologue and be mortified by the truth that came out of my mouth, a truth I never wanted to admit. Regardless of my past experiences I still became attached to this, too much in fact. It was good, to finally feel like I was part of a group. “I thought I was too numb, too devoid of emotions to really care about anything. I’ve been losing since I can remember so I should be used to it by now, right? But it just keeps happening to me over and over again and it never gets any easier than this. How can I let the only thing I truly believed wouldn’t end on me simply vanish like this?” 

Not my friends. Not my family. Not Ryo. 

People have forsaken me so many times I cannot help but expect a relationship will end before it even starts, regardless of its intensity. Is it because of that? Is that the reason why the one thing I felt so honestly attached to is not a person but an abstract, juvenile concept such as a ‘band’? Is having nothing I can truly call ‘mine’ the reason why I cannot afford to lose anything? 

…just how broken am I? 

As I pondered warmness surrounded me all of a sudden and I didn’t need to open my eyes to confirm I was in the center of a group hug. 

“By keeping the bittersweet aftertaste on your mouth as a memento, obviously.” 

Knowing that I wasn’t the only one needing that, I decided to let the whole thing happen a little longer before making any significant movement. 

“…let’s do this.” I said when the time was right. 

Everything from that point on was on blurry flash-forward and the only moment I do recall was furiously growling the title of the first song in the set sharing a microphone with Koukina Rin. 

“WE ARE THE BLEEDING DARK!” 

== Part 2 ==

We got off the stage less than an hour later and moved our bodies slowly to the backstage, without saying a thing before the door was closed and locked. Our band leader then broke the silence with remarkable lack of composure. 

“Well, that sucked.” 

In face of such a statement we could do nothing but follow her in the routine. 

“I made so many mistakes I could as well have played other songs.” 
“My blast beat was alright but coming back to the groove parts was harder than it should be.”
“The crowd was almost ''blasé'' and we probably left a bigger impression by having the School Council president in our band than because of our music. They didn’t even ask for an encore, the uncultured swine.” 

A brief moment of silence was followed by spontaneous yet somehow perfectly synchronized laughter.

“I’m going to miss this so much.” 
“You definitely are not the one.” 
“Me too.” 

When it was her turn Akane just nodded and I could tell it was not because of shyness.

We left the improvised backstage behind and as Megumi left to get food while Akane followed like the world’s happiest shadow Rin and I met her father, who was clearly waiting for us to come out. I was ready for stern words and conflict, but it ended up being very… different.

“Certainly I do not want you to run my company, Rin.” 
“Father, I…” 

He raised his huge hand and for one moment I assumed I would be a witness of familiar violence, but instead he patted his daughter on the head and made the School Council president look fragile and young like I never seen her look.

“My greatest wish is to see you doing what you love and do best, be it music or ruling the world as a dictator. You are my only daughter and I could never force my own views of the world on you, let alone make you walk a path I chose. After all you are your own person and should not compromise your dreams because of anyone else.” His extremely deep voice was softer now and the soothing way he spoke made me feel jealous of Rin. “And I know the company I built is not what you want for yourself; that is a good thing indeed, because it is mine and I have no intention of leaving it for a long time and am willing to fight over it against any person on Earth. It seems you’re going to have to find your own business, lady. Just let me know next time, you got it? I will support you if you allow me.” 
“Daddy…” 
“It has been a while since you called me that…” 

Leaving that somewhat mushy father and daughter scene a tad too late for avoiding the puke in my mouth but still as smoothly as I could at the time, my feet guided me to the improvised backstage once more. If the man was going to reveal some detail that resembled the plot of a certain visual novel such as being the original owner of her guitar or something, I didn’t want to be there when it happened. We have enough problems as it is without facing plagiarism charges, so I walked away.

Then I met Shiina Ryo and a big, loud argument began as a prelude to the wicked happenings that were to come.

== Part 3 ==

It all started when I kissed Ryo.

This might sound a tad too personal to you, but have you ever experienced the feeling of being so connected to someone in a perfect moment you no longer know when you end and that person begins? Like there’s an electric current passing through the being once known as two individuals directly, like the point where you merge with that person is a rectifier; both are one and this one is pure energy, thoughts meaning less than the constant flow of action shared. A matter of skin, timing and chemistry where absolutely nothing else matters, be it summer rain striking two lovers or the end of the world that surrounds them.

Well, it was nothing like that. Not at all. Nope.

Instead, I felt a similar thing to when Ayaka’s Shugoshin trapped me with the white card trick. It’s no wonder I was confused at first but it became absurdly obvious when I faced the monster in the warehouse: what happened to me in class definitely wasn’t just a panic attack.

One moment I was arguing pretty bad with her over God-knows-what and on the other the school was gone. Everything around me shifted into a world of white, with no beginning or end; not the kind of blinding light you’re supposed to see at the end of the tunnel, but the misty one you’d get at walls that have been painted for more than mere months, on clouds in grey days, on office paper considerably cheaper than regular.

Definitely not what you expect even from a bad kiss.

To be alone in such a scenario made me feel like it was a dream; ‘surreal’ doesn’t begin to describe how it struck me. It was too distressing for my brain to compute at once, a dull uneasiness going through every muscle as recognition came little by little.

An outside as empty as one could be inside.

The solitude didn’t last long, for the shot of pain that exploded and sent me flying away was more than enough to let me know I was not, as a matter of fact, alone there.

“I hate you.” 

A long-haired, black and white version of Ryo that seemed to be made of paper and ink stood before me with devilish eyes set to kill and her parasol held as a sword. Didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.

“…Shugoshin.” 
“...” 

So they got her too, maybe that’s why my memories of that are so blurry.

Kouma’s words resonated in my mind: ‘What if I you can’t save her?’, indeed. Even though I played the part on occasion, I was not a hero. I was not a good guy and had one of the worst personalities of all people I have ever seen. I was useless and prone to use others, a good-for-nothing smug-faced bastard. I wouldn’t trust me to be able to save anyone’s skin but my own.
I extended my retractable umbrella to its maximum extent.

“Knight mode.” 

Obviously, if I couldn’t save Ryo I’d just fight her. If I went this far to protect her, there was no way I could just pretend it wasn’t my problem even if that option was presented to me. If I can’t try when I can lose I am not worth of winning.

So commence the last dance, I’m more than ready.

Then 'it' proved me wrong.

I shall refer to the monster as ‘it’ for I cannot see it as the same as Ryo and I. It charged with unparalleled speed and I only had the time to open my eyes wide before the series of attacks began and the makeshift sword I held was destroyed with the first. That’s when I knew my training was completely in vain.

I considered something after I watched the battle between Reikoku-sensei and that man, and this proved it: there was a varying level of strength among them especially depending on the kinds of attacks. Expecting to be able to spar or swordfight with every single one of them regardless of training was absolutely unrealistic. My speed that once looked absolute was now worthless: it hit me again and again from everywhere at all times because it moved in all directions where there was space to move, while I was bound by logic and gravity. I could feel the bruises being born near fresh lacerations and I knew the only reason why I wasn’t dead yet was because it was having the time of its life torturing me.

There were no limitations for the creature in this realm.

Absolute defeat crippled me more than it did, for I stopped trying to fight back or defend myself. Unsurprisingly it got bored and decided to finish the job after teasing a little more to see if the prey would get up one more time.

I didn’t, so it prepared the final hit.

If you don’t come back, this is how it ends. Will you? 

''…never tell me to shut up or go away again.'' 

I know your true name now. 

''Yes, you do.'' 

Am I strong enough to defeat that Shugoshin? 

''This should be obvious by now: no, you are not.'' 

Are you strong enough to defeat it on your own? 

''No, I am not.'' 

…then I suppose it's about time for me to stop fighting you. 

''You must accept the absolute truth.'' 

I accept it; I probably always did, deep down. There is no hope, the suffering and despair will never end, and it might be the worst day ever: I know I cannot afford to keep denying those statements are all the utmost truth any longer, but it is necessary to add they are also not for me. This is going to be someone else's truth, and together we sure are going to make him understand it good. 

''Because we are one.'' 

Because we are none. 

''Because if light itself is corrupted then it's time for the dark to ‘shine’.'' 

Because eventually, every single thing will fade to us. 

''And for that hideous flawed glow, the time is now.'' 

I know that much; just make sure you meet my expectations because this is going to take all of my willpower. 

''Call me.'' 

"Come forth!" I opened my eyes as pitch black flames or rather the absence of flames enveloped my body. "THE DARKEST!" 

It took a little distance because of the surprise element, but I knew it would take more than a last minute unexplained power-up to fight that monster especially considering how bad I still was. The thing is, the reason why I had that voice that knew facts that I didn’t (and could not know, such as the ovation I received in Le Ciel Bleu being a standing one or the moment Reikoku-sensei would reach my house) and was ignorant to things I did, other than the physics ignoring abilities and fast healing, was obvious in the setting.

I too was the host to a Shugoshin. 

Getting up was hard both because I had a ruined up body and information overload to deal with. All of a sudden, I knew about how my power was a ramification of the reality warping abilities I showcased before by which I limited the broadness of possibilities to increase the actual energy of the power. My wounds started healing instantly but I realized the absence-of-flames grew dimmer.

It was really easy to get spent and I was in the middle of something there so it was a matter of life or death to use this power the best I could. But how? Rather than energy, it was anti-energy. Absorbing others? Super punches? Trying to blast it off your fingers? I didn’t feel heat from it like most main characters do, but it wasn’t ice either.

It was ‘nothing’, and just that.

As I wondered ‘how do you fight with nothing’, the Shugoshin similar to Ryo already had the answer figured out: with ease.

First it came swinging the parasol against my face which I stopped by concentrating a good share of the absence-of-flames on my right hand, turning it into a claw and counter-attacking with enough strength to break it. Which only lead to me taking a kick in the knee, an elbow strike to the chest and getting one more attack that was similar to the position of holding a sledgehammer to my spine, at the end.

I fell to my knees, rolled over and concentrated in using the power as an energy blast with my left palm pointed at the creature. It landed but did no more than a small injury to the right thigh, which was no surprise whatsoever: while I’m no Physics expert I don’t think energy just flies around in air without losing potency during the path. The payoff at long distance wasn’t worth it and at short distance it was probably irrelevant. I just had to try because I was running out of ideas and time.

A kick to the temple and I went down one more time, only to be kicked over and over again.

“GET UP! GO ON, GET UP! AREN’T YOU A WARRIOR? GET UP!” 

I probably hurt its feelings by attacking it directly.

''Serves you right for playing its game straight, you are no fighter or hero.'' 

Oi, for someone with such a flashy name and an intro boast like that your power is really, really underwhelming when compared to others’. 

''I never claimed to be the strongest and a name is just a name.'' 

Still, it wouldn’t hurt if you were a little stronger. 

''One could say water is not ‘strong’ when it stands still, but few dare defying the fury of the oceans when there is a storm happening.''

Except this thing here is closer to a cup of water than an ocean if we’re talking about proportions.

''Make your enemy choke on it then; it is still a matter of approach.''

Right. This doesn’t change the fact I’ll probably die this time, though.

''Change your approach.''

But… I gave my best shot. I gave it all.

''Shut up, you piece of trash human: how dare you say that was all you could do?''

It was.

''Can you think?''

…what?

''Can you feel sorry for yourself? Can you think about how weak and hopeless you are in comparison to the universe around you? Can you wish for things to be different? Can you move? Can you breathe? ''

Yes.

''Then you still have energy left: you did not give it all. ''

But I’m tired, and if I couldn’t beat it before how could I have a shot now? I’m much weaker and I was found wanting to begin with. What do you want me to do? To rise as a nail and stick out only to get hammered down more?

''A few months in Japan and you already became a conformist? You ran for years just so you could have this heaven and you’re now giving up on it because you couldn’t take an enemy down as easily as you imagined? Will you stain your hands with the blood of innocents once again? Is it okay just because you won’t live enough to cope with the trauma this time?''

You don’t understand! No matter how many of them I defeat, how many cases I solve or how many people I save, it’s all the same: more and more trouble come my way until I can no longer handle it.

''No, you don’t understand: you don’t stop punching because the enemy didn’t fall, but the opposite. If the target did not went down, it’s one more reason to keep on punching: you punch and punch until it does. The punches will not affect only your enemy, but you too: your bones will break and your flesh will bleed easily and in the same way they will recover, but not to the same state. Your bones will grow thicker, your muscles will develop, and your mind too will become stronger but there’s one thing you need to do to start that process.''

To resist?

''To fight back: one can manage to resist passively, but you can’t fight back that way. Either you fight back with aggression as your intent and means or you don’t.''

But I might die. Everyone might die because of my mistakes and weakness. Someone already did, for heaven’s sake.

''So? The thing is, all of you will eventually die either way: you are fated to that the moment you are born, period. What you are doing so far is giving up, it’s the coward way out.''

If in the end it’s all the same, why should I bother?

''Yes, you are going to die, and dying is forever; thinking about it right now is just suffering by anticipation. But life is limited, a single shot you get of doing what you want and ascending to a higher level regardless of whether you start as the richest woman ever or a poor excuse for a man. Why on Earth would you people consider wasting it or being okay with passing through those few years ling like a dog, I have no idea.''

This speech is very nice and everything, but that doesn’t change the fact I don’t have the strength to win a proper fight against that creature. I just can’t do it.

''Then don’t.''

…but you just said…

''Don’t have a proper fight, if you can’t win one. Humanity sure is slow to learn, but you’re something else. You don’t fight storms; you find a way to predict them and to some extent, control them. You don’t swim against the ocean; you create vehicles that allow you to navigate through it, devices to warn you when you should defend your people from it and dams to tame its tremendous strength getting hydroelectric power on top of that. Don’t just stop punching, you idiot: punch different!''

…one more time. I know what you mean now. Lend me your strength one more time, I know what to do.

''You’d better. And I won’t lend it to you. I am the strength, and I am yours.''

I felt the power rush through me and it wasn’t like I was possessed as in Ayaka’s case; rather I was feeling whole at last.

“As I decay, something new is born.”

Without hesitation, without thinking at all, I advanced. I stepped in walls that weren’t there and moved freely like it was a world made of floor. Walking, increasing pace and then galloping at lightning speed on thin air. Directions were tolerated no longer, for I could push my legs forward and move backwards or sideways if I wanted to at that point. That sub universe was nothing but vectors and fractals and it was my domain.

In rare form, unchained like the drift, all was allowed to me.

The speed and overall mobility of the monster were finally matched if not surpassed and it showed whenever we’d meet and spar midair rather than just clash inside those seemingly endless boundaries. Every hit I delivered generated a noise that struck me as the characteristic one of glass breaking while every attack the creature landed was accompanied by a sub frequency bass wave that resonated in my chest. That improvised percussive symphony was insane, and that was the hugest understatement I had ever listened to.

Maybe that fight could not go on forever because of my stamina, but it surely was going everywhere.

As I maintained focus and sped up my pace I realized why the monster did not seem as undefeatable at that point and got slightly mad at myself for not considering the possibility first: a creature moving that fast and freely could not and would not rely on vision. Vision is useless if you have to change angles and point of view every second.

So 'it', or most likely all of the Shugoshin, used heat, which my power canceled. Not a particularly heroic natural defense, but perfect for someone like me. If it concealed me enough to force these monsters to use more natural means to search me limiting their abilities that much, it was better than I could ever hope for and gave me a lot of insight on how I should fight.

A clash and a retreat on both sides.

“Y-your plan is to defeat me, the entity who created this glorious realm, with mere brute force? Nonsense! You don’t stand a chance!” 
“Just my kind of battle then!” Quickly I jumped, advancing both forward and to a higher infinity at high speed and pulled my right arm enveloped by the pitch black absence-of-flames back midair to gather some strength. All that goes up has to go down and I could tell even inside that subdimension that law was truth; that was an important part of my potentially suicidal plan. “Clench those teeth, Ryo!” 

I came down from the illusory space falling like a comet or an angel, but all the resistance I found only made me want more and more to emerge victorious from the confront. The Shugoshin bit his inferior lip, strong and fast enough for a small spray of blood to fly and taint the imitation of air. Indecision no longer was present in his face and in its place a burning lust for battle spawned. It seemed genuinely happy and for some reason I could relate to that feeling.

Perhaps because I am human and that is what really drives us.

“Come!” 
"U''OR''YA''AA''AA''AAA''AAAA''AAA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''AA''A''A''A''!!!!!"

What my inhuman enemy didn’t see coming until the last second, however, was the bait and switch.

We, humans, are tricky creatures by nature, living beings that use ruses and tools to achieve what we can’t do on our own and while that kind of intelligence might not be all there is to us when it comes to separating us from other species, it certainly is what brought us in safety to the state where we find ourselves currently: our world is a massive deathtrap composed of a million smaller ones just waiting to be triggered by nature, and we certainly built a few deathtraps ourselves much to our children’s dismay, but so far we survived all those ordeals. The planet seems to hate us and that doesn’t mean that we should stop evolving.

Or, even if we should give up, that we will.

A direct, fair blow would be a stupid strategy and too much of a risky gamble. While I can see why it would appeal to some people, that’s not how I fight unless it’s the last option left. To appeal to the enemy’s battle lust, however, is a good way to make sure you can predict its behavior. It helped that the creature shared a mind with an idealistic writer; I’ll have to grant you that: a duel like that was most likely what the Shugoshin wished for the most. The button was just there waiting to be pressed.

So I triggered it, I played along and delivered to my public. It wanted the promise of a fair battle with high stakes, ‘manly speeches’ and boasting. The clashing of final attacks was an absolutely necessary scene in order to complete the story to someone with that kind of mindset. Fantasy craves and screams for scenes like that, which is exactly why I was sure to feed that illusion until the punch landed and my arm was completely shattered.

If I didn’t know what would come next I would have allowed my body to give in and pass out because of the unbearable pain. But I did for a fact know, and the knockout mechanism would not get the best of me.

For one split second I saw the creature grin with absurd pleasure only to realize it was too easy and move its head to face my flying left arm that went against it like a guided missile engulfed by the black non-flames. It finally realized I had transferred the power to my other arm which held Ayaka’s pantographic knife and sacrificed the right one to create a ruse.

I needed the time to draw and unfold it and the monster just gave it to me.

I was no fighter, indeed; if I ever learned how to fight was so that I didn’t have to. To embrace what I was good at instead of accepting a role others forced upon me, of being someone else’s hero or knight in shining armor because the plot demanded so was ridiculous. Who I was, what I was, that constant would never change and always take me back: as back when I was a kid, I was the destroyer of all things magical. Maybe I could not cope with murder, but this creature was not human and it would not qualify.

So return her to me. 

Ryo is 『mine』. 

The grin didn’t much fade as much as it shifted briskly, a contortion visibly painful but nothing compared to what the knife my remaining hand did to the back of creature with Ryo’s face. I had just lost a good portion of my arm yet the attack still made me feel sorry for the monster when it connected.

I had become, for all effects of the term, a cheating backstabber.

Mankind’s answer to Mystery. 

A 『born killer』 who cannot murder. 

A soundless and inexpressive chock happened followed by a deafening supersonic wave spreading through the whole realm, and then it really was all over.

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-04-30T19:02:15Z

Ryuno: It's happening

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Prologue

2012-04-09T20:26:51Z

Ryuno:

== Prologue ==

Reikoku-sensei is serious.
 
That might sound kind of obvious because anyone should have probably already noticed that she is serious by now, but I don't mean it that way. Well, maybe I do but that’s certainly not the point I’m trying to make here. I'm not talking about her attitude because, honestly, the way she acts grows weirder every minute, like she’s trying to follow the second law of Thermodynamics. 

Heck, I'm not even talking about her looks; she does seem very serious and reliable when she is dressed like a teacher and not in my home wearing pajamas, eating my food and talking passionately about those over-the-top and older-than-steam gory horror movies she is so addicted to. Maybe I didn't express my thoughts properly the first time (although not for the first time): she is serious, but what I'm trying to say here is that she is truly serious about something in particular, and on the top of that it's something that particularly bothers me. Big. Time. 

She is serious about making that monster/strange phenomenon hunting team thing Ryo suggested last week. The solid proof is standing in front of me right now, so close I cannot deny its existence. Unless I'm a governmental alien studies-related agency or something like that, you know.
 
"Excuse me but just what on Earth is this?" I ask, only mildly aware of the unfortunate implications an answer to this particular question might bring.
 
My peripheral vision captures unreasonably fast movement from a person standing on my left side, someone that probably desires to get closer to my heart, but not for the reasons one would like to have a girl doing so; in my humble opinion, the apparently emotionless fashionista is just trying to position her weapon of a body in the best spatial coordinates for a direct fatal attack.
 
“These certainly look like paper to me.”
 
I admit it: my heart froze when Kouma Yon’s dangerous arm moved and grabbed one of the three sheets standing on Reikoku-sensei’s desk by the tip, but shortly after that I noticed I was being silly and decided to lower my defenses and play her game.
 
“You know, that kind of ironic comment isn’t that funny anymore. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t very good to begin with.”
 
The girl I had fought both against and alongside not recently looked directly at me as if my poorly-thought counterattack had deeply offended her.
 
“It might sound ironic to you, but it’s a very important and nearly defining character trait for me. Therefore, I’d rather go with the adjective ‘iconic’ as it fits much better.”
 
My best friend joined the conversation exhaling a cuteness so intense it burned me inside soothingly… could someone be a darling and please stop me before I think anything even more ridiculously embarrassing?
 
“Positronic. There are a few things that need to be clarified about the misusage of that particular word. People often associate it with robots, mainly because of Asimov’s stories. The thing is its true meaning is completely unrelated to what those people assume: a positron is the antimatter equivalent of an electron, a subatomic particle with the exact same mass but a positive charge. It doesn’t take much to search the Internet for this info, yet people still insist on inserting this nonsense into their works of fiction. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against trying to come up with ‘cool names and concepts’ because if people really wanted to get proper facts they certainly wouldn’t be reading fiction or even popular magazines for that matter. I just miss the days where science fiction was about science and it made honest mistakes by trying to be ahead of its time instead of walking straight into pits blindfolded by option with the foolish intent to simulate the writing of those who were born blind in the past. Pitiful, just pitiful.”
 
I don’t think any of us was ready for a rant like that so early in the morning, especially coming from Ryo.
 
“Hm… basically, you’re saying ‘positronic’ is not related at all to robotics.” I tried to pick my words carefully, as cautious people usually do when confronting someone who just delivered a massive amount of information in the shortest time possible to them. “Is that correct?” 
“Yes, close enough.” She took a breath, but it wasn’t quite as deep as I expected. “By the way, ‘robotics’ is another term coined by Asimov, although the word ‘robot’ is not.” 
“…then how is it related in any way to Kouma’s speech?”
 
Probably noticing how strange bringing up that topic was, Shiina Ryo stopped moving completely and stayed like that for a few moments as if she was trying to imitate our reaction to her information overload, only with an incredible time delay.
 
“Well, it actually isn’t. I just needed to get it off my chest, that’s all.” She seemed to be as puzzled as I was, except she was not. To be completely honest I don’t actually think anyone was puzzled as I was. “That unscientific science fiction term has been annoying me for a while.”
 
Needless to say, silence followed.
 
“If you kids are done with the information dump moment, I would like to explain why I’m handing these pieces of paper.”
 
Our teacher had her hands tightly clasped in front of her slender face, the fingers crossed like an evil ambassador or a certain fictional commander of an organization that has the purpose of defending the Earth with complicated semi-biological humongous mechanical weapons. Yes, I’m pretty sure you got the idea because you watched all the episodes and movies. “Anything else you would like to add? No? Excellent: allow me to begin explaining what those… sheets of paper with words printed on them represent. My only condition is that you don’t interrupt me while I’m talking. Do you all agree to that?”
 
“Yes, we do.” In the face of such an argument, Ryo probably felt the urge to reply verbally to our teacher while Kouma and I just nodded. 
“That said, I don’t want any of you suddenly coming up with extremely long sequences of sentences that, while usually initially related to the topic, end up taking the conversation to a completely different place and then bring the textbook example of awkward silence we just witnessed: in other words I don’t want any of you to stop my speech to add countless unneeded explanations and witty remarks that clearly came from the database of several online encyclopedias. Once more, to make my intentions as crystal clear as they could possibly get and avoid further issues: I do not want any of you talking about the process of producing paper with fibers such as those derived from wood or grass and I certainly don’t want to hear about its origins, size, thickness, weight, durability, usage, materials, how edible it can be or even a single word on the endless ‘sulfite versus recycled’ discussion. So, no mindless pretentious faux-intellectual rambling on any subject of any kind allowed.” Reikoku-sensei finally paused to breathe and the mild expression on her face implied a glorious moment of hypocrisy-fueled epiphany. “Oh, terrific; this is contagious.” 
“I was going to warn you about that…” 
“Are you interrupting me, Koukishin-kun?” My first impulse was to answer her question but it didn’t took me a long time to realize that I was about to make a huge mistake that would only grow exponentially bigger. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that when it comes to Reikoku-sensei, the first thought that comes to your mind is not the right one. Nor is the second, for that matter. “Good. I’m afraid we don’t have much time left to discuss this before the room gets crowded with students, so I’ll try to keep it short. As I said while we were talking after the event last weekend, there was the necessity of discussing the idea of making a task force to deal with... you all know what. After some pondering it dawned on me there isn’t anything to discuss on that subject.”
 
The warm glow that came through the window and illuminated her desk slowly moved closer as if deliberately trying to touch her face. Sunlight really should know better.
 
“Then why did you want to talk to us before class start-”
 
I really should know better, because I only realized my reflex action was like stepping onto a nuclear mine when I met her sinister glare and felt the cold breathing of my female friends on my neck. It was a mistake on the level of ‘bringing a sword to a gun fight’, and yes, you read that right. You can always find a neutral ground between swords and guns, anyway; unbeknownst to many, hybrids have been available since the 16th century. What I’m telling you is that you don’t need to be a video game character that looks exactly like a certain Japanese singer to get your very own pistol sword. Isn’t that nice? 

And yes, I am trying to avoid the inevitable. Can anyone honestly blame me for that, considering it’s me against Ms. Entropy here?
 
“A friendly warning: you’re going to pay for that interruption.”
 
I don’t personally consider myself an expert on threats (especially because you’d expect an expert to at least remember how many threats he, she or it has received), but how on Earth was that friendly? Even soccer games between sworn rivals such as Brazil and Argentina could easily be considered friendlier than that.
 
“You know what? I’ve had more than enough of this: just take the individual club member application formularies and fill the blanks with your information so we can forget this morning even happened. Talking to you is too tiring.” 
“…individual club member application formularies?” 
“Do you enjoy repeating things that much? I believe anyone should fully understand the situation by now.”
 
And I did, and that’s what scared me.
 
“You honestly expect us to make a supernatural entity hunting school club? Who would do that?” 
“You would, or at least they are going to.” Our teacher pointed to my friends with her long index fingers, almost looking like she was imitating a cowboy holding guns. “While you were busy looking shocked, they started filling their respective formularies.”
 
Much to my dismay, the beautiful yet not-so-responsible woman spoke the truth; my friends were already furiously pressing pens into that mischievous contract, a deal with the Underworld. The real ones were not exactly like that, but they came pretty close. 

The worst part of it is that even if I don’t take part in this bizarre experiment, I’m not sure I can talk Ryo or Kouma out of this. Ryo takes an interest in oddities because she thinks she is helping me this way and she probably sees this as a form of escapism, something she seems truly in love with. Kouma would stay by Ryo’s side 24/7 if she could and because of Ryo’s frail body condition she often acts as her bodyguard. I’m not trying to look all macho here, but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have made it without me last time (especially because we barely made it even with the three of us). 

Judging by the look on Reikoku-sensei’s face, this outcome was planned all along: everyone is going to take part in this because they want to protect someone else and the ones who see through her plans are still forced to follow them because whether we choose to research and hunt those entities or not, there are more of them and they are here. A place that has no cops is not the same as a place that doesn’t need cops; au contraire, if there is anything a utopia like that needs is people to make sure crimes are being prevented or punished. 

I understand exactly just how deep this is. 

It’s only a matter of time before something weird happens to someone and involving others in this situation would be stupid and selfish, so I don’t even get to question ‘why us?’ Maybe it was sheer causality or an honest-to-God example of synchronicity but for someone who had a life like mine to find himself into a situation like this, it’s just too weird. Almost as if everything that happened before was just training for this, or as if all those things gravitated around and towards me. Since blaming Fate is a terrible cliché, I’d rather stick with Gravity, who is at least it’s an enemy I’m already familiar with. 

Still, my pride wouldn’t allow me to surrender so easily.
 
“Now, even if we were decided on giving up our perfectly normal lives…” At that exact moment, all of them coughed nervously. How predictable. “…without a proper reason and hunt down those monsters, and I’m definitely not saying we will do such a thing, what would be the point of making a school club to perform this hideous activity?”
 
Ryo touched her small chin and gave me one of her trademark smiles.
 
“The money, obviously.”
 
Raise your hands if you were expecting that sentence to come out of that pretty mouth of hers. That’s right, you can’t, and to be honest, you’re not the only one. Especially after that hug scene at the end of the event… I’m not sure whether I should feel disappointed or intrigued by that twist.
 
“Wait, what?” 
“As a registered club of this school, we’ll receive a room and a small yet considerable allowance to buy products to help with club activities or its research.” Kouma said without looking away from her paper. “Having a reasonable amount of funds is necessary for starting any kind of business.” 
“A business? What are we, the Teenager Ghostbusters? You might as well use those funds to buy us a van and a talking dog.” 
“Vans are quite expensive but I already own a cat, if that is any help.” Unlike her childhood friend, Shiina Ryo not only stopped writing but also looked directly into my eyes when replying. It was like watching Fire and Water being best buddies. “He doesn’t talk, though, but he stares an awful lot and reminds me of Yon-chan.”
 
Even children could see the connection between the two things in Ryo’s innocent remark, and that’s what made it so amusing to me. Still, I couldn’t get carried away; they are still trying to drag me back to the dark waters. Laughing was not an option.
 
“What would we need that money for, anyway?”
 
And then something inside me clicked: it was the feeling you get when you ask a computer technician or a car salesman an innocent question. When you realize you shouldn’t have asked that and now you’re probably going to regret it all the way home.
 
“Bandages aren’t free.” Kouma Yon said. 
“Nor are warehouses’ rentals.” Ryo followed. 
“And school chairs.” 
“Desks, too.” 
“Once in a while someone’s clothes are going to be completely ruined.” 
“Stake-outs take time and food on the streets can be expensive.” 
“It certainly would be cheaper and a lot more practical to cook our own Taiyaki instead of interrupting the meetings to go outside and buy it.” 
“We could eat something else, once in a while.” 
“Or we could eat Taiyaki.”
 
Thankfully, this dialogue ended prematurely thanks to one of the greatest wonders of Science: the fish-shaped cake Kouma loved so much. Considering those two were talking, I know it could have gone for hours. Especially if someone decided to discuss Nietzsche or Freud, who would obviously find their way into the conversation. They always do.
 
“Good morning!”
 
As should be expected after all the time we spent talking, the other students were finally arriving. Still, for some unknown reason, all of us seemed surprised by their sudden appearance. Perhaps we were all hoping they would have the decency to wait for the main cast of characters to finish the plot-related dialogue before entering, which they sort of did, in a sense.
 
“Now go and sit down before anyone finds this suspicious and questionable or worse than that, clarifying and answerable.” Our teacher said in a low voice that didn’t suit her. “Hand me the papers before you leave for lunch.”
 
And that’s what we did: first we greeted the others (which means I did, while my antisocial friends just went to their places) and then after calm and affably boring lessons, we left our papers on Reikoku-sensei’s desk right before going for another lunch on the rooftop. Other than the small commotion caused by the announcement another student of the class, Morimoto Ayaka, suddenly transferred (and even that commotion was below my expectations, as if the class was already used to things like that happening) there were no events in between and not a single irregularity after lunch; just a lazy nice day at school, how they are supposed to be. 

When we’re about to go home, our teacher calls me over, an obvious invitation to a one-on-one talk. Knowing my teacher, I told Kouma and Ryo to go without me with the promise of calling later or something like that; hoping for this conversation with Reikoku-sensei or its consequences to be resolved in just two minutes would have been utterly foolish of me. 

I really should have seen this coming.
 
“Sorry about accidentally sending your application formulary to another club. Oh, I feel so-o clumsy today.” Her words sarcastically pronounced in monotone made me extra suspicious. “Not only that, I am especially busy and I don’t have free time to pick up your application form; you’ll have to run to this club's room and get it back yourself.”
 
Almost immediately my eyebrows rose; there was absolutely no way I could have seen a dojikko impersonation coming.
 
“Is this about the interruption?” 
“The possibility exists. Now go and retrieve it.” 
“Why would I?” Despite whatever she planned, this time the upper hand is mine. “I don’t think I have a reason to get my application form back from a club I don’t know to join one whose activities I’m not fond of. If I bring it back I’ll start searching for aberrations that I otherwise probably wouldn’t meet. If I don’t, the worst thing that can happen to me is receiving notices for not attending club activities. Honestly, there isn’t a single reason for me to go there and get that paper for you.” 
“And that would be very clever of you if it wasn’t for a small, but not insignificant, detail.”
 
The cerulean sky out the window did not dare to move.
 
“Really, what that would that be?” 
“I am not the teacher responsible for every club. When you start skipping club activities, which I assume you will promptly do regardless of the club’s activities and areas of interest, there is a good chance the assigned teacher will pay you a surprise home visit. Now, I can relate to your situation because of my personal experiences, but I’m not sure if another educator put into the same situation would choose to stay quiet about an unemancipated minor living on his own. Then it would have been much easier if you never filled that formulary in the first place, wouldn’t it?”
And there it was: blackmail in paper-thin disguise, just as expected from a person such as my teacher (although for the well being of the world I hope there aren’t many of those). It doesn’t take much to see that staying next to her is like kissing a flame, like being between Scylla and… the other monster whose name I cannot recall right now. Anyway, merely going to school can be considered extremely dangerous. 
“…I think I hate you.” 
“No, you don’t.” She gazed down on the several papers on her desk as if they had the intention of running away if she stopped watching. Honestly, I could relate to the poor fellows: despite coming from trees and everything, I don’t quite believe any entity, living or dead, have Reikoku-sensei as a personal warder. Now that I think about this matter, maybe the people who claim disasters can unite individuals of different races and species are not completely wrong; when it comes to my teacher, there is a great chance the paper suffers just as much as I do. “Now hurry.”
 
Without having anything clever to say in reply, I ran.

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Return to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[The_Longing_Of_Shiina_Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 1: Megumi|Chapter 1: Megumi]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-03-24T13:57:36Z

Ryuno:

User talk:Hiro Hayase

2012-03-23T16:41:46Z

Ryuno:

==Hidan no Aria==

Thanks for all the edits. You're awesome. I never knew I was making so many mistakes. I'll just be tweaking some of your edits here and there, trying to mix and match to fit the original novel. Translation is a collaborative project, after all. Also, I'll be adding your name in editor, so it might be nice if you could add something to your user page to make your name nice and blue. Just putting "Hi." is fine, it just looks better on the title page. Once again, thanks for all the help. - [[User:YoakeNoHikari|YoakeNoHikari]] 20:54, 12 May 2011 (UCT)

wow awesome quotes you got there XD

== Done! ==

I hadn't made one yet because I wasn't sure about editing. Do I have to register in the forum too? --[[User:Ppaaccoojrf|ppaaccoojrf]] 16:30, 18 August 2011 (CDT)

== Editing ==

'llo there. Do you know it's okay to do multiple edits at the same time? On the Recent changes-page I've seen long lists of tiny, tiny edits of yours, and doing it like that isn't really necessary. Honestly, it also clutters the Recent changes and makes it harder to keep track of other projects that way. Therefore I would be very glad if you could adjust a little--[[User:Kadi|Kadi]] 12:27, 29 August 2011 (CDT)

Sorry, didn't see that you edited many different parts. I only checked one or two and went back in the history and you only changed one detail each time, that's probably why I didn't see it properly. Doesn't matter then. Thanks for clearing it up. (I don't hide minor edits because many people don't use it or overuse it)--[[User:Kadi|Kadi]] 13:42, 29 August 2011 (CDT)

== Toaru Spinoffs ==

I am not the admin or supervisor of Toaru. I designed the template but I have based all the names off the Toaru Main Page. Plus I don't read Toaru. The only one who has the authority to allow or execute such an action would be the Toaru Admin or Supervisor. If I have their permission then I may, else not. I am sorry for not being much help. Ask them if they agree then inform me. Once I confirm it I will change it to what you wish. Put this on the [[Template_talk:Toaru_Nav#Spin-Offs_Nav|Toaru Nav Talk Page's related section]]. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 17:52, 3 September 2011 (CDT)

Where did you get the green light? Sorry but I need to confirm it. Also there hasn't been any change on the Toaru Main Page. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 05:40, 4 September 2011 (CDT)

Confirmation recieved. Making Changes. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 10:37, 5 September 2011 (CDT)

== IS Ehhh ==

It was already decided to englishify eh, oi, eto, etc (those that can be ''clearly'' translated). I'm just doing that. I can somewhat understand your objections but it would now go against conformity. But you are somewhat right about the "Ehhhh~" with girls. I'll try and think of something that fits the mood/circumatnces more than "whaat". If I can't then perhaps I'll leave it as "Ehhh~". [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 00:05, 8 September 2011 (CDT)

== Past tense for non-character narration; reason for got not being get ==

Normally in english when a non-character narration occurs (ie: when the narration is not done by one of the characters, in IS' case Ichika, Houki, etc) the tense used is past tense, got, was, were, had, etc (of course there are exceptions). I think you should leave it as it is. I had to go through everything and change the non-character narration from present to past tense. It was tough work. Character Narration is another story, it can be in past, present or future tense depending on the circumstances. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 20:34, 17 September 2011 (CDT)

But I've reviewed your edit on IS:Volume4 Chapter2‎, as long as they are in the past tense in non-character narration I have no objection. Unfortunately I cannot edit in the same manner as you since for me right now I cannot see the problems you can see although I can see and understand them as you make the changes. So how about I review your edits just as you are reviewing mine. Two heads are better than one, no? It might take longer but it can't be helped. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 20:49, 17 September 2011 (CDT)

== Email Problems ==

Dear Hiro,

Just seeking a little more information, I would appreciate if you can just answer a few of my questions:

***
'''
When did you notice you stopped receiving email notification from Baka-Tsuki?

Is this the same email account you used to register on Baka-Tsuki?

Have you attempted to change your email to a non-Yahoo/Hotmail account?

If you have did you receive any notification? '''

***

The more information i can collect the better picture i can present to the Big Boss.

Thank you for your co-operation and i apologise for the inconvenience caused!

Regards,

[[User:Onizuka-gto|Onizuka-GTO]] 09:49, 23 September 2011 (CDT)

== Highschool DxD ==

I added character list and terminology list. If I made a mistake please help.
Thanks.

--[[User:Code-Zero|Code-Zero]] 02:59, 13 February 2012 (CST)

In lue of what u said, there might be consistency but grades refer to those who still persue their schooling while 'year' is only for those persuing degree courses. Though after 10th it is said that college has started, grade system still applies there. Changing grade to year will compltely diviate from the timeline. If not agreeable, consider this as the same when ''''Gakuen'''' was edited to ''''Academy'''' and as such others. --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] 15:56, 9 March 2012 (CST)

Fine...no problem with as suggested :) . But as a query, in Japan, 2nd year=11th grade, 3rd year=12th grade and 1st year=10th grade right? Also, do they have different recognition for university students than the Western culture? --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] 16:11, 9 March 2012 (CST)

I changed it to as per our discussion. --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] 16:17, 9 March 2012 (CST)

Actually, ''''Year'''' is used quite commonly outside of Canada and the U.S. for primary and secondary education. Using the term ''''high school 1st/2nd/3rd year'''' would actually be the least ambiguous. Especially for English readers outside the U.S. who are not acquainted with the 12 grade system (Britain's system goes to Year 13, for example, while Ontario schools in Canada only moved to 12 grades in recent years.) That said, there's nothing wrong with calling high school seniors 12th graders since Japan does have a 12 year system. Just slightly jarring to people who think of high school graduating at Grade 13. Perhaps a translation note in the first volume when the main character starts school would suffice.

I'll see what I can do. -00:02, 10 March 2012 (CST)

== Papakiki Specific Guidelines ==

As this project may not have a lot of terminology, and also there are a few staff working on it, please use this thread to discuss among staff first, and let the guidelines grow for a while before creating such a page: http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=4824

Of course implementation could be done once agreement is reached without the page being created. --[[User:Larethian|larethian]] 19:42, 22 February 2012 (CST)

Hina's speech was intentional. --[[User:Zephyrus|Zephyrus]] 22:47, 1 March 2012 (CST)

== Volume 4? ==

Do you mean the editing for volume 3?
If not, I haven't read, much less edited volume 4 at all.
-[[User:Skies|Skies]]

I see. I've been going back and forth because of the awkwardness. There are times when he's actually commenting on something, which makes it present tense and when he recalls it narrates it, making it past tense.

Decisions decisions...
-[[User:Skies|Skies]]

== Apologies ==

Sorry, I accidentally reverted the changes in your talk page. I changed back, but I wanted to say sorry. -[[User:Kira0802|Kira]] ([[User_talk:Kira0802|Talk]]) 16:00, 26 February 2012 (CST)

== Monogatari series ==

You should move the pages to the same namespace as the project. You moved them to 'Monogatari', but the project is 'Monogatari Series'. And you should not delete the old pages right away because there may multiple places that link to it, and these links become dead. As a matter of fact, there is actually no real need to delete the old pages because they are already redirecting to the new pages unless there is a name collision or if you want to clean them up because they have become orphaned. So, you should only delete them until you are sure that they have become orphaned . --[[User:Larethian|larethian]] 21:00, 21 March 2012 (CDT)

== About the reverted edit ==
No need to worry, I assumed it was a mistake. Anything you'd like to ask?

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-03-23T16:00:20Z

Ryuno: I wish my Blackberry had nice stuff like this.

Great work! You certainly made my day! I was surprised by how interesting this novel was that I continued reading even though it's 2.40 am already. I do hope to see more chapters up soon, certainly looking forward to it =D - [[User:Destinyz|Destinyz]]

* I am going to finish posting this tomorrow, it's just that adapting the weird formatting I used on MS Word to Wiki-formatting is harder than it looks. I'm glad you liked it; getting positive feedback makes this otherwise empty day of mine a much, much better one. Thank you very much. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

hmm I look forward to the next chapter. I already read the 3rd chapter elsewhere. The story is weird in some places but that's okay. Still curious about what will happpen

* Weird is good, sometimes; because of weirdness, we've got bloody awesome stuff such as djent, hair coloring and SHAFT. I'm going to post the last chapter later, so get yourself ready for some weird action. [http://soundcloud.com/corelia/glass-faces-1 Listen to this while you wait, it's delicious.] - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

The Longing Of Shiina Ryo = The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya... RIGHT>?

* It started as a rant on that series, yes. It grew on me by the ending line of the first chapter, so I said "what the heck" and decided to take it serious. Not too serious, though. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

very good story, i like it

* Thank you very much. [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i super quote the comment upXD (just a question, you are writing or translating this??)

* Writing (and technically translating, considering the fact I'm not a native English speaker; yeah, that sounds like a good way to get away with stupid mistakes). The sequel is coming along nicely, too. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

nice story, deservers to be serialized(be made in a book, sorry but i too am not english, i am italianXD)

* Thank you very much. It's highly unlikely unless I follow the dreadful path of self-publishing, but I suppose the possibility exists.[[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Is it possible to publish here on baka-tsuki my original light novel I'm writing? [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* The criteria is the same they use for translation projects: once your novel is finished talk to thelastguardian, create a thread on the forum with a voting system so people can tell if they want to see your novel or not on Baka-Tsuki. On the first post, write the series/novel synopsis and then wait for the replies. After people had the chance to vote for a few weeks and there is a satisfactory result, create the page and start posting. I'm looking forward to your novel, both as an avid reader and as a fellow writer. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

So yeah, I'm wondering if you should just capitalized the 1st letter in every word in the novel volume title so that it looks nice.
Btw, nice writing.
It reminds of Kyon, and you have a lot of references taken from other series, which is fun to read for us otakus.
Overall "Good Job!" *thumbs up*

* Thank you very much. As I said before, this thing started as a rant on Haruhi and that's why there are some similarities. To me Shin-tsu is what Kyon (a regular, snarky guy) would be if the weird stuff started happening to him when he was a kid, without a single pretty friend around to help him (I used "friend" instead of "girl" because, honestly, even straight guys are going bi for Itsuki. True story). Because of that he became someone who is constantly terrified, over analytical and anxious as a dog when seeing a postman and his bag, along with many other symptoms; clearly, we have a case of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurosis psychoneurosis] in our hands. Good thing he landed on a freak town, at least he is not the only one who is damaged. Also, here is a fun game to play along with reading this: try to figure out which kind of disorder(s) each character has based on their sentences and the other characters' impressions on them. Post the results here: I think all but one character can be fully analyzed just with Wiki pages, although I must say psychology books can help a lot. Regular people play "doctor", but the hardcore ones play "Psychology House M.D."! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

---Man, this is great! It was my dream to have a work of fiction that comments on cliches in just the way you do it. i like
your style very much)
also, i spotted some grammatical errors. but in which talk page do i post the corrections? this one?
anyway, looking forward to the 2nd novel.
PS. i know how to write correctly, i just hate capital letters, so i'm sorry about that. idiffer.

* To be honest I was kind of wanting for a ''metamanga'' story to show too, although I had my doubts about how well that plan could be executed (there are a few things that are better left as ''theory'' instead of being put in ''practice'', such as interactive media and communism). When you find grammatical errors feel free to edit the chapter, preferably leaving a comment afterwards to point out my mistakes on the respective chapter's talk page. I too am looking forward to the second novel, mostly because I don't want it to take a year to be complete like the first one did (never take hiatus on writing, they ruin your life). PS. I don't know how to write correctly, therefore I use capital letters. Not sorry about that at all, except I truly am. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hi! I actually saw your novel before on textnovel.com and I also have my novel there (code 3079). Also thank you for your advice, I get now how troublesome it is - especially for someone as lazy and impatient as me. [[User:Angelanime|Angelanime]]

* A fellow textnovelist! I haven't accessed that website in a while, and I guess it shows because the early fragment of the novels posted there are raw as meat before barbecue. So, I just read your story: it feels dark but told from the point-of-view of a protagonist who hasn't been corrupted yet, so there was no way I could not like it. And it's not that troublesome especially because everyone here is kind enough to give support and offer criticism when you need it. Totally worth it. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Actually, there's something that actually makes me sad.
It's about Ayaka. She appeared at the last chapter, became the culprit, and then got transfered.
I hope she got reintroduced later on, I really really hope so...

* Unfortunately, I could not introduce her before: the whole incident just happened because she wasn't present in the first day of the week. This let me a little sad too, because she is psychotic as hell and managed to keep it all inside herself until the moment was right. She carries knives around too and would stab you after being flirty and stuff; my kind of girl character, although I am not fond of her Shugoshin because it's the easiest to defeat compared to the others I planned. I cannot talk about Ayaka's future right now, but on the special ''metastory'' (that happens between novel 1 and 2) the characters will comment on her transfer; she even appears on it, so rejoice! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno! Your light novel is good to epic proportions. Your after word mentions that you don't have a style, but the style used in this story was VERY prominent and VERY enjoyable. I hope you meet success and that someone publishes this, it will do well. I'm also VERY surprised, pleasantly so, that you yourself posted this on baka tsuki for us. We all thank you and wish you good luck.
PS if you want one of us to make a few tweaks grammatically just ask, its one of the few things the baka crowd and faculty are rather good at.

* Epic proportions? Does that means I am going to get an anime by SHAFT and a movie with DEEN's budget? '''Best. Life. Ever.''' Thank you very much about your kind comment and I'm glad you enjoy this as much as I do (boredom strikes me easily). I've been reading Baka-Tsuki novel translations for a while and I thought you guys would like this better than the editors assigned to reply my query letters did, probably because it would be very hard to like it less. J.K. Rowling needed 5 years to get the first Harry Potter novel published, so I guess I have around 4 years to live in despair until I ragequit or something like that. Also, feel free to edit the chapters and banish the grammar mistakes back to their evil dimension by waving your mighty sword. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

-I just finished reading/editing vol. 1 and I love your writing style. It really brings out Shin-tsu's perspective very well and makes his character seem very believable. Your English isn't the worst I've seen as you only make a few grammatical mistakes and the occasional poor word choice but it's nothing a good editor can't correct since you still get the general idea across. In all, the universe you have created in The Longing of Shiina Ryo has, in my opinion, unimaginable potential for expansion and I am greatly looking forward to your future works. P.S. Your cultural and meme references are great! -[BerylRaven]

* Thank you very much. About the "unimaginable potential for expansion" I must say I plan ahead (often too much for my own good) and yes, things are going to get crazy from here on out. My favorite manga is JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and if you're familiar with Hirohiko Araki's way of constantly building/expanding the universe you're going to like this too. My intention is to make this universe expand massively until the Big Crunch at the final story, "SCENARIO FRONTIER" (almost entirely outlined, not available on DVD or BD, people die). I just need to write enough stories in between to make sure I won't be the only one crying when it ends. About the references, most people insert them in their works as individual easter eggs; I think it's funnier if you just throw them as full baskets. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hey Ryuno, just as a minor heads up. Since I'm fairly confident a lot of people will want to read this, can you get the Baka Tsuki team to add this on the light novel list? Other then having this page saved and clicking through the recent changes, its slightly difficult to find. Good luck with everything!

* I'm not sure if I can. I know it would get a lot more of visibility amongst the other big name light novels (against common-sense but not again marketing techniques), but I don't think I have the heart to ask thelastguardian to change it. Plus, being the only novel in a category feels so ''avantgarde''. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Clap, clap, clap. I spent half my night reading this while writing my Physics lab and was thoroughly entertained. The monologues by the protagonist were humorous enough to actually make me laugh (I don't usually laugh when reading something). The interactions between characters are interesting, especially Kouma--I'm rooting for her victory, for some reason. You've got something good growing here. Hope you keep feeding it. -Visicury

* Reading a light novel while writing a paper for Physics class? Good grief, that sounds like a dangerous combination! Still, I am grateful and pleased; it's always good to know this story is keeping someone else amused other than myself. Just like my first story, The Underground Tower, this is keeping me awake at night with blooming new characters and bizarre situations; unfortunately, just like my first story, there is too much plotting going on and very little writing at the moment (only one tenth of the second novel was written so far, much to my dismay). However, this kind of comment might be exactly what I need to go back to the actual work: to know I should not keep the bits that are actually interesting to myself. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

I was hoping for very unusual super powers D; But i guess your going to go hunting-team route - Code 649426684

* Can't tell much about the "hunting team" thing without completely ruining the first chapter on the second novel (although ruining something I'm having trouble writing does sound appealing), but you can '''definitely''' count on crazy JoJo-style powers with limitations that stop the characters from being gods. On a different note, I'm almost done with the special ''metastory'' that will give out three details on the next one and counts with the ''super special tokubetsu na kimi miracle baby I'm happy to be with you etc'' participation of Morimoto Ayaka. We all know she could use the screen time, poor girl. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Very, very interesting. I'm loving the random references and the main character's sarcastic speeches. But one quick question: is his paranoia/mental...issues (schizophrenia, perchance?) going to be an important plot twist or is this going to be a semi-fantastical, pseudo-realistic novel? Actually don't answer that; I want to finish reading first. :3 --[[User:Musicguyguy|musicguyguy]] 02:25, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

* Have you finished already? I am in the mood for spoilers. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
I need to know if you are going to have cookies?Also when is next chapter coming? Is there going to be lots of plot twists~649426684
* Chocolate cookies and I shall bake them when I, well, learn how to bake. The prologue of the second novel has been written a while ago, but I'd rather finish the first chapter before I start posting the story to avoid making you guys wait a lot for new chapters I haven't written yet (which is a very unfortunate thing, considering the first chapter of the second novel is being harder to write than the ones that come after it or the second story of that volume for that matter). More like plot, genre and even "character" twists at the same time: what I can guarantee is that you'll get the chance to see the characters in a different light in this new volume. Happy holidays, 649426684-san. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

i just noticed this novel today and i read through it in one go! it's interesting indeed! XD
but sometime i still have a hard time imagining how kouma looks. oh, and she's my favorite character ^^
good luck writing this
* I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to read it one go: recently I've done the same to a manga series, Drifting Classroom by Kazuo Umezu (I advise you to read the manga because is almost too good and avoid the live action movie like it was the black plague itself because it's just that bad). Thank you very much. Kouma has a slender frame, eyes without expression, fashionable designer clothes when not in school and [http://cabelosfortes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/reese-witherspoon-medium-layered-hair269.jpg something like this] as hairstyle, except black and a little more layered because I'm just a sucker for those things (nothing extreme as one of the girls in the next novel, but still); on a similar note, I used to have a rough but "official" draft of her face on my computer but I'm afraid it was lost when I formatted my hard disk. She is my favorite character so far too, but with the things going like this I don't know for how long she'll remain like that: I planned the overall story of this series while writing the first volume but now that I'm actually working on new scenes I can see that the characters I poorly devised back then grew along with me and now have their own charm and appeal, at least enough to confuse me. I cannot really blame Shin-tsu if he gets confused along the way too. Once again, thank you very much and I hope you enjoy the second volume. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Hats off and round of applause to you for your great light novel. you've got a really colorful set of characters and a very impressive plot. Wishing you the best of luck for your novels and if this ever gets published, I want to be one of the first to buy it just to show my support!
* Thank you for your support. It's good to read such kind words while trying to finish a chapter that simply won't die so the other ones can be born. I'll never, ever try and introduce three characters at a time again (and by that I mean actually introducing, not just giving their names). Last time it was relevant to the plot so I couldn't let Shin-tsu meet Ayaka before that day, but I'm sure there's no way I could get away with that kind of stuff twice. Hopefully I'll get it done today. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Great story man, I liked it a lot. Is the unfortunate banana incident a reference to bakemonogatari? I didn't get all the puns because I don't really watch/read much animes/mangas but it was still enjoyable :D. Update soon please! - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* It is a Bakemonogatari reference indeed. I'm glad to learn that this can be enjoyable to someone who is not deep into the anime and manga scene because frankly, I've been exposed to it for so long sometimes I wonder if people in real life could understand what I'm talking about. The first chapter of the second volume simply does not want to end, currently at 14k words or so and all I want to do is to get done with it, but I can't rush it too much because that would ruin the pace of the volume in its entirety and it was pretty weird to begin with... All I can say is that the new girls and the interactions of the cast are worth it; compared to the introspective and "lonely" first chapter of novel one I'd say this is turning out to be rather crowded, and it this was an anime we'd be around episode 3 or 4 when the viewer is starting to warm up to the setting. Thus, time to add depth. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

New chapter ; great. Thanks for the update! Good flow, great stuff overall but there is one thing bugging me! The protagonist is just too damn perfect. He's a pro bass player and a music know-it-all (this annoy me the most). He's a "cordon bleu". He's somewhat rich and have total parental independence.. Every girl he meets seems to like him in some way etc... Overall, dream life imo. SURE, he has some flaws (mystery magnet and all) and he really wish he could just live a "normal life" (just to rub it in!). Am I what they call a "hater" or what? :P - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]
* Good to see you again. No, you're definitely not a hater: you like Shin-tsu's life enough to want it yourself (and I could do with a studio flat, a five-string bass and that money too, if you ask me)! The thing is, you are falling for his trap. Sure, he has plenty of good points (although I would hardly say he's a "cordon bleu" for cooking a recipe he got off the internet, and I am pretty sad to announce that the general definition of "good bassist" usually means "I don't need the guitarist to teach me my parts, which would be following the rhythm guitar the whole song"), but at the very least to me the flaws are much, much greater than the virtues and that's what makes him interesting as a character: he may not be that much of a pathological liar but he is absurdly prejudiced and cranky, he makes the same mistakes over and over again, hates being manipulated yet does it to others, pushes people to their edges without knowing why, practically flirts with every person he meets because he has no idea how to express or deal with "friendship", has a tendency to avoid his problems, never trusts anyone completely (which could be seen as a virtue in the world he lives in, but still), only considers consequences when they will directly affect his life, is a paranoid with overwhelming guilt on his mind, the kid is so lonely he can't possibly be in a relationship of any kind without things getting serious in the matter of hours and he projects his fears and hopes on people instead of waiting to see what they really are, to the point of seeing them as characters with stereotypes all over them. The boy is a bloody trainwreck if you ask me, and from the point the second protagonist enters the story it will be hard not to compare the two of them and see how different from the usual "let's defend our NAKAMA" leaders/heroes Shin-tsu is. Painfully. To be a little more specific on the other virtues, you must keep in mind he sees his parental independence as parental abandonment (justified, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less) and I can't tell you much right now but when he said "I do not consider myself a particularly wealthy individual for a reason or two" in this chapter it was foreshadowing, so expect a clarification on why he seems to be full of cash on a few things (goddamn big house, neat bass and CD collection) yet eats instant ramen for breakfast. About the music thing, you're going to hate this: I was exactly like him and Rin in that aspect when I was in highschool. Hell, even today I argue with audio engineers and musicians over their own work (yes, '''WITH''' them) because music is one of those things that can achieve a "degree of perfection" by using many distinct, completely unrelated routes. Therefore, music is serious business: well produced recordings in lossless quality are appreciated, songwriting that is anything short of mindblowing regardless of genre isn't. Last but not least important, I think there is no way people like him can be fully happy with their lives, period: the real problems with Shin-tsu wanting a normal life are: a) he clearly does not live in a world that supports that and b) the problem is him and not the rest of the world, so he either changes his ways for real or he'll never, ever be pleased with any sort of life he leads no matter how blessed he is. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* [Post scriptum : English isn't my mother language] Thanks for the perspective. I went back to read some parts of the first volume and you are right.. I've greatly overlooked some of his psychological problems :P. Now that you mention this, I feel like maybe I was angrier at him thinking/doing stupid shit than him being blessed. About the music part, I think that flaws that we hate the most in others are mainly our own. I'm a music enthusiasm too, I used to be a member at what.cd and waffles.fm (though not by legitimate means :P ). So that's why I'm a little aggravated by that I guess.. Great answer - [[User:A concerned citizen|A concerned citizen]]

This is something that has been bugging me since I started reading your novel. Have you considered adding pictures?Or at least some pictures of the characters? I personally wanted to do fanart for a long time, but since there's no finished character designs, I was a bit afraid.
* The official character design and novel illustrations were supposed to be done by kyuu, but recently he's been absurdly busy with his job. [http://twitter.com/GJsoft @GJsoft] did some [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11682568/Kouma%20by%20gjsoft.PNG fanart] based on his own interpretation of the characters and I liked it a lot. Personally, I'm looking forward to see the characters through your eyes. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* I pictured her as blonde, guess that's just me. GJSoft's kouma looks like Urabe from Mysterious Girlfriend X. - [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]
* YES. God, I love that design... I heard a couple things about the manga, as in "it's fabulous until the Idol arc, then it all goes to hell and reading it becomes a waste of time". Is that so? My personal backlog already has 14 manga I actively want to list so I'm not sure if it's worth investing the time on it now... - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]
* The idol arc was definitely sub-par, but before and afterwards it's definitely not a waste of time. However, I'm probably a bit biased as I work on the team scanlating it. [[User:LivingHumanoidInterface|LivingHumanoidInterface]]
* Biased? Au contraire, chances are you have a deeper understanding of the situation due to working directly with the RAWs so I will take your word for it. By the way, if you're looking for a monthly project that already has a fanbase but for some reason no stable scanlation source as of now, give "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure part 8: JoJoLion" a chance. Araki just introduced a character who is a blind girl addicted to progressive rock living in a house of horrors, I definitely need my fix of that... - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

yo! i succumbed to my curiosity and read the uploaded part of vol. 2. wow, you really do have talent! i really didn't expect some plot twists (relationship with Rin! god, that was so masterfully done.) but i think it got too sad too soon, with the whole Ryo under the tree scene. i wish the gang had a bit more fun and adventures.
sometimes the language is too heavy for me.it's good that you are advancing your english skills, but the sentence sructure in some parts is needlessly complicated, imho. like you are forcing it to be complicated (did i guess? i did almost the same thing with my novel).
don't take it the wrong way. your novel is very enjoyable and you do bring in some originality. and i'm eagerly awaiting the future chapters. it's just a habit of mine to criticise even the things i like.
also why is the second chapter called Akane? she didn't do much in it...
--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 13:21, 18 February 2012 (CST)
* Great to see you again. Sorry for taking this long to reply, I did not get the usual e-mail from this page being edited... Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the Rin scenes, but if I comment on the relationship right now there won't be much of a point in reading the following chapters. And I'm sorry for the sudden change in mood, but I can't comment on it either. As a tip, keep in mind that Shin-tsu did not act like this before so something changed. Maybe it's something that could change back... see where I'm getting at? Regarding the vocabulary and sentence structure, I've been "reading" a thesaurus (I won't say word by word, but yes, kind of) along with a few books on style so it rubbed off on me and even my editor complained to me about that too and has been doing a lot of cuts because it was actually slightly more verbose than it is now. It's extra funny when you consider that I still make the most ridiculous mistakes such as using "in" when it's "on" and vice-versa: this fellow can barely speak the language on a basic level but insists on dropping jargon like pigeons drop... not a good analogy. And whoa, hold on for a moment: did you finish a novel? Is it '''that''' novel you were writing back in 2010? Where is it? WHERE?And you know, the chapter title always goes to the character who is doing her "thing" (that is, the main attribute of her personality) the most; since Akane's trait seems to be going unnoticed... well, she managed to be almost irrelevant in her own chapter. Irony much? - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Thanks for explaining. Yes, it's that novel from 2010, but i didn't get past chapter one, whic you have read. I concluded that it's not my thing. I don't have much of an imagination((. Instead, i'm translating other light novels into Russian right now.(here, on baka-tsuki).

If i can find the time, i'll edit your works, if you don't mind. You have an editor, but there are still mistakes (no offense to the editor). I'll probably try doing more liberal editting, like actually changing the sentence structure for better flow. If you won't like it, as you know, you can just undo the edits...

Also, there are some instances, where the change of scene is not evident. Like, they are having a dialouge in one place, then in another. And the exact point when the location changed isn't emphasized. Maybe it's me being dumb. But if you'd like, i can look through the chapters again and find those parts.(there were 2 such instances i think).
Anyway, i won't make any promises yet.

Any ETA on when the next chapter will be done?

BTW, do you know of some other original light novels? Me being me, i'll spend 3 hours in google searching for them, so...if you know of some, can you give me the links please? If it's not too much trouble...

--[[User:Idiffer|Idiffer]] 08:49, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Imagination is unnecessary, especially if you take Kouma Yon's viewpoint/method explained in the new chapter. Still, it pleases me to know you're working on translation. I've been considering to help with English to Brazilian Portuguese for a while, might start with Bakemonogatari's Mayoi Snail if I have the time: the team who translated that only did Hitagi Crab. Now, about editing... although I really appreciate the offer I'll have to say no because I think he'd take offense to that. Thank you all the same and I'm sorry. No ETA, as they are already written but not edited yet and I don't want to bypass him. Regarding OEL Light Novels, thing is I'm working with a good friend who is also a fan of Shiina Ryo on the idea of a serial online magazine/label for Light Novels, so I might have a good answer to your question soon. If you consider picking up writing once again, do let me know. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Dang it. Whenever I read your new chapter I'm disappearing from this world for a half an hour, at the very least. It isn't that hard for me, since I'm obsessed with books, yet it's difficult to make me grin like a madman for the entire chapter. And you can. 
I'm already eager for next chapter since it'd be about Rin. I have to say it - I like Rin the best from new characters. Yep. 
Also, I'm interested in what you have in your sleeves for us. That city is too distorted to be normal and peaceful. And it's wonderful. I do wonder who's gonna end up with a hole in the skull. 
Oh, I strayed off the topic. Wonderful work, great characters. Good luck with finding a publisher --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 10:20, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Nostalgia... this reminds me of three or four years ago when I couldn't sleep and would just read books all night so time would pass; can't say those were good days or that I sleep much better now, but the books were usually good so there was always the thrill of disappearing in the night into someone else's universe and it feels great to know that I can produce that effect on someone. Rin is my editor's favorite too, and I think before that it was Reikoku... wait, I might be starting to see a pattern here. Anyway, I can definitely understand the massive appeal of a flirty-bordering-on-opressive codependent music elitist, oh yes I can. Yep. And you're getting it... that city is going to be sparkling with "fun". Also, someone really, '''really''' is getting that hole in the skull, no trolling or last-minute cop-out: this is happening so just wait for it. Off-topic is what this is all about. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you can enjoy the ride because as the last line in Chapter 2.5 shows, it's all going to get crazier from this point on. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Heh, yeah. Every good writer wants it, and you're making it very, very good. Hm, I do recall something about your editor's favorite heroine but I feel lazy to actually search for that...

Oh yeah, such characters have their charm. That's for sure.

You're just sparking my interest. I do want to see what kind of crazy fun it would be. Also, Kouma's gonna take part in it?

You're welcome. After reading your last chapter I actually wrote a prologue for something bizzare which is forming in my head, after all. This party's getting crazy, huh. --[[User:Rock96|Rock96]] 11:49, 22 March 2012 (CDT)
* Fun as in Animorphs meets JoJo's Bizarre Adventure meets Hunter X Hunter: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hgIP7G8zno&feature=youtu.be&t=2m37s this party is never over]. When you ask me about Kouma like that it's really hard not to leak the other two chapters so you can know for sure whether she'll be relevant or not... or rather, in which way. Jesus, it's like now that I can't answer because the truth is right around the corner you guys decided to ask all the right questions at once. I'd love to check your writing, so do show me when you have something you're even half happy with! - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Just something I noticed - this isn't on the Android app. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that it's in the OLN section? I figure this ought to be in the app - it's kinda hard to read on the main site while on the go, since most phone screens are so small. Maybe get the coder for the app to take a look? [[User:WingsofSnow|WingsofSnow]] 10:43, 23 March 2012 (CDT)
* Reported it on the App's Official thread. If the novel wasn't so full of italics and underlines that are plot relevant, I would compile a J2ME version of the chapters so far released myself for you. Since that won't do, would any other sort of file extension (MS Word or something) help in your case? - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo

2012-03-22T17:12:36Z

Ryuno: "The Departed" is another great song of theirs.

Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 2: Akane

2012-03-22T16:53:25Z

Ryuno: According to Kouma, a crying Ryo isn't a pretty sight anyway.

Firstly, thank you Ryuno for writing such a brilliant story. I have read it several times now and loved it every time, and the quality hasn't dropped at all with this chapter. But I have to say, ouch. Really, ouch. That ending was just heart-wrenching, You've painted a horribly sad image in my mind now! I hope the story gets happier with the next chapter. I don't want to see Ryo cry!
* Hello, Duckofdoom. Thank you very much for the compliments, I'm glad you enjoy the story. When I wrote that particular part, I had to take a moment and sit away from the computer to rest; it felt... too real, you know? Even though I had it planned since I was writing chapter 2 of the first novel, it still hurt. Thing is, a conflict like that... any more and I ruin the following chapters. I remember when I leaked spoilers because they were so far ahead you couldn't tell what I was talking about, but now I have to hold back or ruin stuff for real. I wonder if that's a good sign. - [[User:Ryuno|Ryuno]]