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Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 3

2025-02-15T16:59:02Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]] 
''Note: Annotations still need to be added''
==Chapter 3: They found out I'm a Twintail==

Having finished docking the two battalions’ motherships in the docking port, Earth’s Ultima Guil base was full of new personnel.

Representatives of both units were gathered in the base’s conference room to discuss strategy for the Earth’s invasion, but things had quickly run aground.

Large Bust and Small Bust.

As polar opposite Elements, there were very little opportunities for compromise, and sure enough, the meeting had split into two distinct factions.

“I’m just about sick of you fools! Sick of this world’s lack of breasts!
Everyone thinking that they can get a large chest just by slicing themselves with a knife and shoving something inside.
These fakes are the real reason Large Bust is such a scarce element!”

“Small Bust is different though. Their smallness gives them honour, it lets our love for them bloom!”

“You fool. The rampancy of fakes only brings forth the true beauty of Large Bust! 
You could say they’re a single flower blooming in a barren wasteland…”

“It’s valuable because of it’s rarity! Coming into bloom, and in the world with us for just a moment before fading away. 
As if they were shooting stars, that moment they burn out only reveals their true magnificince!!”

“True, let’s assume for a moment Small Bust does live forever. 
Then they’d have no more life than a marble sculpture! Hah!!”

The meeting had degenerated into bickering that stunk of middle-school-aged boys.

Anyone coming upon hellish scene of fearsome monsters, blood and tempers seething as they argue, would have nightmares for months afterwards.

“Look at this!” 
One of Levia-Guildy’s subordinates projected a photograph up on the screen. He smiled smugly, confident he’d land a blow.

A photograph of a large-busted girl in a school uniform, assumedly on her morning commute.

“How dare you show that filth to us!”

“Sure, always using the same flimsy bigger is better’ argument! 
Why don’t you try looking at the bigger picture for a change?”

“What are you talking about!”

The Small Bust supporters narrowed their eyes at the photo they’d been shown.

The subject’s bag-strap dug into her cleavage, bringing it into sharp relief.

“Have a look at this chest, divided into its right and left parts… 
A re-enactment of the separation of heaven and earth as ordained by the gods!”

“And don’t you think this beauty of left and right resonates with that of twintails?”

The Large-bust faction were all piling on at once to gain as much ground as possible.

However, Krake Guildy’s subordinates weren’t about to give in that easily.

The screen flicked to a new photo to another girl, this time with a more modest chest.

“Look as the harmony with this school swimsuit! A large bust can’t pull this off. 
Flat-chested girls excel in the wide range of outfits they can pull off!”

The survivors of the Tiger Guildy’s unit, who had no option but to join other units after the death of their commander, who had long since lost hope of this meeting baring any fruit, jerked their heads up at the mention of school swimsuits.

They were never a unit formed under the banner of school swimsuits, but nevertheless the image stirred a longing for their former commander.

“Scheming bastard- how dare you try to draw in Tiger Guildy’s subordinates!?”

“I’m doing nothing of the sort. I’m merely demonstrating that no matter what element you’re composed of, at the very end that element will manifest itself as Small Bust! If you insist that this worlds beginning and end is Large Bust, then explain the flat expanse of the ocean and the plains of the continents that clearly symbolise small breasts. All of nature returns to small chests!”

The two factions who’d until now been showing each other their presentations projected on huge screens at the front of the hall, finally broke into an all-out brawl.

The debate gave way to all kinds of abuse, and merely screaming the name of their preferred element.

“SILENCE!”

Krake Guildy slammed his fist down hard, causing cracks to form in the solid table.

In an instant, the meeting hall returned to silence.

“We’re never going to get anywhere like this. How many days have we spent having this exact same argument. Yesterday we had that huge argument over game characters, and forget breasts, you failed to even notice one of the characters was a femboy!” he said, his numerous tentacles drawing tense with rage.

Someone who takes so much pride in his refined, chivalrous demeanour letting his emotions surface like this reflected the base’s faltering unity.

“The only option we have left is to seperate our command and agree for each unit to work independently to achieve our objective of neutralising the Twintails.”

Levia Guildy’s suggestion sounded rash, but it seemed like the only way for the base to return to somewhat normal operation.

“Levia Guildy-sama, with all due respect, unless we form a united front we have no chance of defeating the Twintails! No matter how long discussion takes we must—“

“But it’s true that if we sit on out thumbs like this the situation won’t show any improvement. I say we go ahead and split up” Krake Guildy said, cutting over his subordinate.

With the two commanders coming to this agreement, their subordinates had no choice but to stand down.

“With my cherished comrade Buffalo Guildy being annihilated in seconds like that, I’ve come to understand the Twintail’s strength only too well. Then again, I had no idea my second in command was so pathetic.”

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 3

2025-02-15T16:56:28Z

Sophie: Created page with "==Chapter 3: They found out I'm a Twintail== Having finished docking the two battalions’ motherships in the docking port, Earth’s Ultima Guil base was full of new person..."

==Chapter 3: They found out I'm a Twintail==

Having finished docking the two battalions’ motherships in the docking port, Earth’s Ultima Guil base was full of new personnel.

Representatives of both units were gathered in the base’s conference room to discuss strategy for the Earth’s invasion, but things had quickly run aground.

Large Bust and Small Bust.

As polar opposite Elements, there were very little opportunities for compromise, and sure enough, the meeting had split into two distinct factions.

“I’m just about sick of you fools! Sick of this world’s lack of breasts!
Everyone thinking that they can get a large chest just by slicing themselves with a knife and shoving something inside.
These fakes are the real reason Large Bust is such a scarce element!”

“Small Bust is different though. Their smallness gives them honour, it lets our love for them bloom!”

“You fool. The rampancy of fakes only brings forth the true beauty of Large Bust! 
You could say they’re a single flower blooming in a barren wasteland…”

“It’s valuable because of it’s rarity! Coming into bloom, and in the world with us for just a moment before fading away. 
As if they were shooting stars, that moment they burn out only reveals their true magnificince!!”

“True, let’s assume for a moment Small Bust does live forever. 
Then they’d have no more life than a marble sculpture! Hah!!”

The meeting had degenerated into bickering that stunk of middle-school-aged boys.

Anyone coming upon hellish scene of fearsome monsters, blood and tempers seething as they argue, would have nightmares for months afterwards.

“Look at this!” 
One of Levia-Guildy’s subordinates projected a photograph up on the screen. He smiled smugly, confident he’d land a blow.

A photograph of a large-busted girl in a school uniform, assumedly on her morning commute.

“How dare you show that filth to us!”

“Sure, always using the same flimsy bigger is better’ argument! 
Why don’t you try looking at the bigger picture for a change?”

“What are you talking about!”

The Small Bust supporters narrowed their eyes at the photo they’d been shown.

The subject’s bag-strap dug into her cleavage, bringing it into sharp relief.

“Have a look at this chest, divided into its right and left parts… 
A re-enactment of the separation of heaven and earth as ordained by the gods!”

“And don’t you think this beauty of left and right resonates with that of twintails?”

The Large-bust faction were all piling on at once to gain as much ground as possible.

However, Krake Guildy’s subordinates weren’t about to give in that easily.

The screen flicked to a new photo to another girl, this time with a more modest chest.

“Look as the harmony with this school swimsuit! A large bust can’t pull this off. 
Flat-chested girls excel in the wide range of outfits they can pull off!”

The survivors of the Tiger Guildy’s unit, who had no option but to join other units after the death of their commander, who had long since lost hope of this meeting baring any fruit, jerked their heads up at the mention of school swimsuits.

They were never a unit formed under the banner of school swimsuits, but nevertheless the image stirred a longing for their former commander.

“Scheming bastard- how dare you try to draw in Tiger Guildy’s subordinates!?”

“I’m doing nothing of the sort. I’m merely demonstrating that no matter what element you’re composed of, at the very end that element will manifest itself as Small Bust! If you insist that this worlds beginning and end is Large Bust, then explain the flat expanse of the ocean and the plains of the continents that clearly symbolise small breasts. All of nature returns to small chests!”

The two factions who’d until now been showing each other their presentations projected on huge screens at the front of the hall, finally broke into an all-out brawl.

The debate gave way to all kinds of abuse, and merely screaming the name of their preferred element.

“SILENCE!”

Krake Guildy slammed his fist down hard, causing cracks to form in the solid table.

In an instant, the meeting hall returned to silence.

“We’re never going to get anywhere like this. How many days have we spent having this exact same argument. Yesterday we had that huge argument over game characters, and forget breasts, you failed to even notice one of the characters was a femboy!” he said, his numerous tentacles drawing tense with rage.

Someone who takes so much pride in his refined, chivalrous demeanour letting his emotions surface like this reflected the base’s faltering unity.

“The only option we have left is to seperate our command and agree for each unit to work independently to achieve our objective of neutralising the Twintails.”

Levia Guildy’s suggestion sounded rash, but it seemed like the only way for the base to return to somewhat normal operation.

“Levia Guildy-sama, with all due respect, unless we form a united front we have no chance of defeating the Twintails! No matter how long discussion takes we must—“

“But it’s true that if we sit on out thumbs like this the situation won’t show any improvement. I say we go ahead and split up” Krake Guildy said, cutting over his subordinate.

With the two commanders coming to this agreement, their subordinates had no choice but to stand down.

“With my cherished comrade Buffalo Guildy being annihilated in seconds like that, I’ve come to understand the Twintail’s strength only too well. Then again, I had no idea my second in command was so pathetic.”

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-02-12T17:02:13Z

Sophie:

__NOTOC__
[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita|Back to Index]] 
Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and the assistant brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.

“Assistant<ref>In Japanese, Grandpa refers to the assistant as “Joshu-kun” and Watashi says “Joshu-san”. At first I translated them as Assistant-kun and Assistant-san respectively, because just leaving it as “Assistant” reads as more than a little rude, but it was getting far too clunky putting these in sentences so I’ve gotten rid of the suffixes for now.</ref>, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[[File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

[[File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

[[File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

[[File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png|thumb|center|”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"]]

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the savouriness<ref>They use the term ’umami’ here, but since they seem to be referring to a more general savoury flavour, I went with the english term here.</ref> all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

<center>◈</center>

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before… 
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m his granddaughter,”

“You’re the darling Granddaughter,<ref>In the original text the Office Chief says ‘mago-chan’. ‘mago’ means granddaughter and ’chan’ is a familiar suffix you can add to someone’s name. I previously translated it as ‘Granddaughter-chan’, but this ended up being far to clumsy. ‘Chan’ is usually used when referring to children, and sometimes girls of equal or lower status. Using on a subordinate like the Chief does here comes off as more than a little over-affectionate, and would be considered inappropriate by a lot of people. Hence I tried to create a similar effect by affixing or adding words like ‘dear’ or ‘dearest’ instead.</ref> are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-dear. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone. If, or when, in the future a new species takes over earth, we need it to be something that can help them along their way. So we’ll need to pile in as much of our cultural works, science and history as possible, Granddaughter-dear”

Getting called ’Granddaughter-dear’ is getting a little gross.

“It sounds like it’ll be a really difficult plan to carry out…”

All of humanity’s culture, science and history. It’s hard to see it as anything other than a pipe dream.

“Keep in mind that when we say ’all the records’, we mean this as an ideal more that anything. In reality what the project boils down to is trying to find and then compile as much data as we can.” Grandad added

“Do you mean as paper records?”

“Nope, we’re planning to scrape together all of the storage technology we still have available to us today, and then design a specialised structure to put it in. We’ll then input all of the information we’ve collected into that structure. And since this will be our monument, it has to be pretty sturdy as well. At the moment we’re thinking of making it the shape of a monolith.”

By definition, a monolith can be any kind of stone monument, but for some reason or other it’s usually taken to mean a black stone carved into special prism-like shapes.

In this case, the Office Chief probably means the latter.

“Are we going to be carrying this all out with human technology?” I asked hesitantly.

“It’ll likely take more than a few years” Granddad said, grimacing a little.

He’d know this project was a little large in scale for someone who was supposed to be retired.

“What if you were to borrow the Fairies’ power?”

“You think they’d give us something in line with our plan?”

“Very true.”

This time it was my turn to grimace. Fairy Technology is very much focused on what they’re finding fun in a given moment, and not long-term goal-driven behaviour.

“I know that you’re on very good terms with the Fairies. I’ve been hearing rumours of your exploits.”

“Oh no…”

“But I’m sorry to say that this time we’ll be declining your services on the Fairy front. In the first place, this is an undertaking that’s happening worldwide. 
However, Camphorwood village is close to a huge amount of city ruins, and I have a professor next to me who has a bounty of knowledge and experience, as well as an unrivalled collection of books on all subjects. Your help will be indispensable for what we’ll be doing. 
And then of course we will be counting on your help as well, Granddaughter, my dear.”

“Ah, sure.” I said, having trouble keeping up with the eloquence of this official.

The Office Chief continued.
“Oh and also, for our investigation of these city ruins, it looks like we’ll be needing a little help from your village on the manpower front.”

“It’ll have to be a very extensive investigation.”

Numerous city ruins of an unknown era, most of which have been eaten into by forests, are known to take tremendous amounts of work to explore, and you’re very unlikely to find anything to make it worth your time.

“Wouldn’t we need a power sauce?” I asked.

Present-day humans are only able to generate enough electricity to carry out absolutely essential tasks.

“You don’t need to worry in that regard,” grandad answered readily.

“We’ve had a satellite in our sights for some time now. It’s in working order and has all the functions we need. We also have the access codes, so all we need to do is fire up the receiver arial and we’ll be good to go.”

“Wait, does that mean we can use all the power we want?”

“Nope, it’s just for the investigation. The satellite’s going to need to be shared around different sites worldwide, so it won’t be made available for civilian use.”

“Of course it is,” I sad, mourning the brief hope I’d had of modern convenience.

“So there it is, Granddaughter my dear. I’ll be counting on your help for the investigation!”

“Thank you sir.”

I was too tired to add any vigour to my response. I mean, the job he’s just given us is gigantic.

There’s still a decent chance that the project collapses before we have to start, at least.

“Excuse me, professor!” A villager shouted, panting from his sprint over to us.

“What’s the matter?”

“They’re saying a meteor’s fallen in a field over there!”

<center>◈</center>

“So this is the meteorite…”

Grandad and the Office Chief still had some more things to discuss, so me and the assistant were the first personnel sent over.

We were told to just set a perimeter and wait for our two seniors to arrive. They probably thought we’re too young to be trusted with much more than fending off rubberneckers.

However, when we arrived on site that damage was a little less than I expected.

The crater was in an empty paddock on the village outskirts. Barely any onlookers and no signs of a fire.

Doesn’t seem like we’ll have to take any action at all.

“Lets still set our perimeter, just in case.”

Along with the assistant, I set out marking the area with stakes and some rope.

“This is one hell of a sight, though.”

The crater was about ten meters in diameter, and in its epicentre was what looked like a black steel slab, about thirty centimetres long and stuck into the ground at an angle.

“It seems like a monolith,” I muttered, bending down.

It wasn’t hot, or even warm to the touch. Anything that flew in from space should head up from the friction of entering the atmosphere at high speed.

“This has to be manmade.”

The assistant nodded loudly in agreement.

Humans civilisation was indeed capable at one time of some impressive engineering.

“Maybe this was in orbit and finally fell down today…”

This was probably the most sensible explanation, but I don’t know much at all about space or planets, so I decided to wait for grandad.

Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to what looked like a barrage of torpedos combing through the grass towards us.

When they reached our feet they suddenly leaped straight up in the air.

“Surprise!”

They were fairies.

“You’re working hard!”

“Something fell down?”

“Seems like it, look there!”

“Ooh this is indeed very black-coloured!”

With very little concern for their own wellbeing, they crawled over the object, touching it all over to gather as much information as possible.

I heard some more rustling, and looked over to see another group of fairies arrive.

“Hello!”

“I came over!”

“Something fell down?”

“Let me join in?”

“Hmm, we’re going to need a roll call,” I said, urging the fairies to form a single file.

“Number one!”

“Number Two.”

“Trois”

“Left.”

“Right!”

They’re all in perfect order, hahah…

“Did you fairies have anything to do with making this monolith?”

The five fairies huddled together and whispered among themselves. Their representative came forward.

“This is the first time we ever seen it!”

“Is that right?”

Then this must be manmade technology.

Picking up the monolith, it was lighter than I thought it would be. Only about five kilograms, I’d say.

“Hmm…”

I shook it, and heard a rattling sound. It must have a hollow somewhere inside it.

“It’s rattle rattling to you?”

“Maybe it’s got a prize in it!”

“A secret compartment?”

“A little prize in a big box!”

“Very commercialistic!”

“My god, what era do I have to be from to understand you guys!” I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

“Huh?” a nearby fairy replied.

“This lightness and now this rattle-noise. I can’t help thinking this is just a piece of junk.”

My interest was rapidly diminishing.

“Oi! What’s it looking like?”

“Oh, hey Grandad. So this seems to be what’s fallen down.”

“What the hell are you doing touching it? All I said was to secure the… Oh, never mind. Pass it over, I’ll have a look.”

Grandad seemed annoyed that I’d gotten a head start examining.

“A monolith? We were told it was a meteorite. So this is what’s supposed to have fallen from the sky?” Grandad asked, brows furrowed in doubt.

“This was stuck into the ground right in the middle of this crater.”

“This is too light, there’s no damned way. This is too light to survive. You sure someone’s not playing a prank on us?” he said hurriedly.

“A meteorite is the sort of thing that fell and wiped all the dinosaurs in the transition from the Palaeocene Period and the Cretaceous Period. That transition is called the K-T Boundary, by the way. Compare that to how light this is. Feels like a cookie tin, if anything!”

“It doesn’t seem to be one of the fairies creations, at the very least.”

“A human creation…”

Grandad conducted a thorough examination of the object, holding it up and turning it around so he wouldn’t pass by any clues.

Finally, he tore his attention away from it, his interest exhausted.

“If we say that this really fell here…” I started.

“There’s no way. This should’ve by all accounts burned up in the atmosphere. This metal slab hasn’t got the imposing spaciness it needs to survive.”

Grandad lobbed the monolith back into the crater.

“Just some kinda prank”

“Yeah…”

“Lets go back.”

Grandad had started off towards home.

“Assistant, we’re going back to the office now!”

“…”

The assistant was looking at a mountain that was beyond the plain’s gentle slopes. At its base was a belt of dense vegetation.

I suddenly realised what he was enraptured by.

“That’s actually a city over there.”

“…?”

Although the assistant uttered words only very rarely, he often spoke using his moist eyes, his gestures, posture.

“Yep, an ancient city. Or rather, its ruins. Nobody lives there these days. There’s a lot of dangerous things there, and it’s swarming with feral dogs.”

“…”

“Huh? You think it looks awesome? Are you interested in cities, Assistant?”

Since the assistant spent his childhood all alone, maybe cities have their own special allure to him.

“Ooh, Assistant, you’re interested in city ruins, are you? Well do I have good news for you! What say you come with us two on a little expedition?”

It seems like Grandad had been mulling over the Human Monument project in his head.

The assistant stared at Grandad for a few seconds, and then gave a small nod.

“You’re coming as well, dearest daughter,” he made sure to add.

“Well I guess if you insist.”


“Are we going out?”

“We want to go too!”

“Are we allowed to come?”


“Sorry, but we humans have to get this investigation done all by ourselves,” Grandad replied, his voice much kinder in tone than the one he uses on me.


“Aww, that’s too bad”


Their round, clear button-eyes looked the same as always, but for some reason their expressions felt lonelier than usual.

“If you promise to lay off the mischief, we could allow one of you to accompany us as your representative.”

”It’s all good?”

“Only if it’s someone well behaved.”


“Yayayy!”

“We pick one out for you.”

“Gonna talk it out”

“Who do they mean by ‘Behave’?”

“No clue”


It didn’t seem like they’d reach a decision anytime soon.

“What should we do about the monolith?” I asked tentatively.

“Just leave it be.”

We left the crater and returned to the office. The fairies disappeared suddenly. They’ll declare their representative at a later date, I guess.

<center>◈</center>

A few days later, we’d already forgotten almost all about the meteorite.

As I was heading home a little before the sun started to set, I decided to detour down the main street so I could do some window-shopping at the supply convoy.

“What on earth?”

It was as if there was a festival on.

People I hadn’t seen before were milling back and forth, and scaffolding had been put up all along the buildings lining the street.

Workmen were rushing along the scaffolding, which was no less busy than the street below.

I’d never seen the town like this before.

Looking closely, carriages and hand-carts punctuated the streetside. Some of these were set up as stalls.

There were even private automobiles, which were extremely uncommon in these parts.

I was wondering whether it’d be okay to cut across the busy town square, when I recognised a lady from the supply convoy.

“Would you happen to know why it’s so busy here today?”

“Oh, it’s the Professor’s girl! Apparently it’s supposed to be some kind of festival.”

“Was there a festival planned for today?”

“Apparently they suddenly decided to have one,” she shrugged.

The supply convoy lady had been put in charge of food preparation, so we thanked her and let her continue on her way to the kitchen area.

I stood for a moment taking in this scene which was so unlike the usual morning rush.

This was a remarkably sudden festival.

I assumed that all these unfamiliar people were from neighbouring villages come to help set up, or involved directly with whatever this festival is meant to be.

The yells echoing through the square were much louder than usual, and there was a festive energy you never expect to feel in a village as quiet as ours.

I watched as a man carrying what looked like a bundle of rope run over to another worker, assumedly his colleague.

“By cable, do you mean this thing”

“Yep, that’s right, I remember seeing one of these babies hooked up. Musta been about twenty years ago now though!”

It sounds like they’re talking about an electrical cable.

Yet another man came by and dropped an armful of some flat ribbon-like cable on the ground in front of him.

“This is the right stuff, isn’t it? It’s got that same socket thing on it.”

“No no, this is just some decorative lights!”

“The hell are you talking about?”

“There’s little lights all along it, see?”

“What’re we gonna use them for, then? They gonna be our lighting?”

“These little coloured bulbs aren’t gonna be any use for lighting stuff up, mate.”

“So we don’t need them at all then?”

“No, don’t be too hasty now. Go hang them somewhere, the Office Chief told us to put out all the electrical stuff we could, remember?”

“Fair enough, I’ll just go find a house somewhere to chuck them over.”

He picked his bundle back up and dived back into the milling crowds.

”Hello, hello! Testing! Testing!!

“Gyaa!”

An explosion of broken sound echoed around the square. It felt like the stone building near us was about to shatter.

For a moment afterwards, everyone near us remained silent. After that, though…

“What the heck was that, is it broken?”

“Nope, it was just the mic clipping out.”

“Do you think it’ll be working by the time the festival starts?”

“I already said it’s not broken!”

“My eardrums have gone and torn themselves!”

“Oof, that was a surprise.”

“Put it up somewhere higher! God help me…”

The speaker that’d produced the terrible sound had been set up at ground level.

A few youngsters picked up the loud-speaker, which was shaped not unlike a lily-flower, and carried it off somewhere.

This sort of stuff happens when we take technology out of cold-storage like this.

“Oh, good morning Granddaughter, my dear!”

“Office Chief… it’s good to see you.”

I tense up at the sudden arrival of my boss’s boss.

He was wearing his usual getup of a three-piece suit, but was sporting a safety helmet instead of his usual hat.

“I see you’re missing your had today.”

“Yes indeed. You see, according to gentleman-studies theory, a true gentleman will in workplaces such as this don the embodiment of safety first (or ANZEN DAIICHI as they say in Japanese), the safety helmet.”

I didn’t realise they were researching that…

“Is this festival related to the monument plan you were talking about before?”

“You mean the People Monument? Indeed you are correct. We’re planning to supply some of the power we’ve secured for our investigation of the city ruins to your village, which will become our base of operations.”

“You mean we’ll be able to use power in the village as well?”

“Yes, and what’s more there won’t be any restriction on its use. The energy we’ll be sent from our satellite is effectively limitless. It seems just a waste to use it only on our investigation. And that’s when we came up with our ‘Come and Be Amazed at our Electric Summer’ festival. When we talk about the culture of us primates, well that’s pretty much just electricity, isn’t it?”

“The culture of primates? This event sounds like it’s built on some pretty big ideas.”

“This will only happen over a few days though. You could think of it as a return to a lifestyle of culture, if I do say so myself, haha!”

“A lifestyle of culture…”

Those were indeed welcome words.

I returned my gaze to the bustling square.

“So that’s what this flurry of activity is about?”

“Well, this supply of power is still a long way off, but I wanted to ensure we had enough time to prepare for the kind of festivities I’m hoping for. I informed all the surrounding villages and provided them all with transport here.”

Big VIP managers like the Office Chief sure think on a large scale.

“Well we do have a lot of empty houses here, so we shouldn’t have a problem with accomodation and such.”

“Indeed you do! This will surely become something we can all be proud of. There’s lots of young people coming as well, in fact. You know how young people are, get enough of them together and they cause a ruckus for the sake of it. By the way, I was going to ask if you could keep an eye on them for me just until the festival is over.”

“I’m actually going to be fully occupied helping with the investigation, so…”

“Ah yes, that’s right! You’ve cherished by the fairies, aren’t you Granddaughter-dear. You’re indeed an indispensable member of our investigation team. I would’ve liked your help here, but I’ll have to find a way to cope by myself.”

It certainly sounded like the festival was the main event for our Office Chief…

“Chief!”

One of the youths from the village was approaching us.

“What is it?”

“Members from the Boys’ and Girls’ Science Club are here to see you”

“Sure, could you please bring thing over here for me? Granddaughter dear, I bet you think I’ve been putting all of my energy into this festival, haven’t you? But that couldn’t be further from the truth. As you can see, I’ve managed to find some youngsters who couldn’t be more keen to help you out with combing those ruins!”

“I’m thankful to hear that, sir.”

After a couple of minutes’ wait, a band of elderly people were brought over to us.

“We’re looking for the Office Chief…”

“Oh, that’d be me! Could I ask who you ladies and gentleman might be?”

The band’s representative came forward sporting an impressive beard,

“We’re the Boys’ and Girls’ Science Club, at your service!”

The Office Chief’s reinforcements were here, and they certainly would’ve been youngsters a mere half-century ago.

<center>◈</center>

Preparations were getting more and more hectic as the start of festivities and our expedition loomed.

My current duties mostly boil down to getting hold of anything that Grandad says we might need out in the ruins. In other words I’ve become his errand-girl.

Making a list of the tents, rations, tools, materials and personnel we might need, getting accomodation for and feeding people staying here in the village until the expedition, a place for all the complaints from the locals about the chaos in the village to go, taking minutes of meeting after meeting, making sure everyone coming here gets properly briefed, writing all kinds of management documents, making every kind of tea you can think of…

There was a mountain of jobs that I have to do if I want this to run at all smoothly.

What’s terrifying is that because so much that’s happening relies on other tasks being finished on time, a single miscommunication from me could set off a chain of failures that could bring things to a standstill.

I am a cog in the machine that can never be allowed to rest.

“Hey, what did you decide to do about that problem we had?”

Whenever I showed my face at the office I get greeted the same way.

That problem? That other problem? The problem from earlier?

“There’s at least twenty that problems you could be referring to.”

“The total amount of staff for the investigation, of course. What else could I mean!”

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-02-06T12:20:08Z

Sophie:

__NOTOC__
[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita|Back to Index]] 
Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and the assistant brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.

“Assistant<ref>In Japanese, Grandpa refers to the assistant as “Joshu-kun” and Watashi says “Joshu-san”. At first I translated them as Assistant-kun and Assistant-san respectively, because just leaving it as “Assistant” reads as more than a little rude, but it was getting far too clunky putting these in sentences so I’ve gotten rid of the suffixes for now.</ref>, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[[File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

[[File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

[[File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

[[File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png|thumb|center|”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"]]

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the savouriness<ref>They use the term ’umami’ here, but since they seem to be referring to a more general savoury flavour, I went with the english term here.</ref> all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

<center>◈</center>

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before… 
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m his granddaughter,”

“You’re Granddaughter-chan<ref>’chan’ is a familiar suffix you can add to someone’s name in Japanese. It’s usually used when referring to children, and sometimes girls of equal or lower status.

Using it in the modern workplace is usually frowned upon, as it feels a little bit like calling your colleagues ‘darling’.</ref>, are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-chan. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone. If, or when, in the future a new species takes over earth, we need it to be something that can help them along their way. So we’ll need to pile in as much of our cultural works, science and history as possible, Granddaughter-chan”

Getting called ’Granddaughter-chan’ is getting a little gross.

“It sounds like it’ll be a really difficult plan to carry out…”

All of humanity’s culture, science and history. It’s hard to see it as anything other than a pipe dream.

“Keep in mind that when we say ’all the records’, we mean this as an ideal more that anything. In reality what the project boils down to is trying to find and then compile as much data as we can.” Grandad added

“Do you mean as paper records?”

“Nope, we’re planning to scrape together all of the storage technology we still have available to us today, and then design a specialised structure to put it in. We’ll then input all of the information we’ve collected into that structure. And since this will be our monument, it has to be pretty sturdy as well. At the moment we’re thinking of making it the shape of a monolith.”

By definition, a monolith can be any kind of stone monument, but for some reason or other it’s usually taken to mean a black stone carved into special prism-like shapes.

In this case, the Office Chief probably means the latter.

“Are we going to be carrying this all out with human technology?” I asked hesitantly.

“It’ll likely take more than a few years” Granddad said, grimacing a little.

He’d know this project was a little large in scale for someone who was supposed to be retired.

“What if you were to borrow the Fairies’ power?”

“You think they’d give us something in line with our plan?”

“Very true.”

This time it was my turn to grimace. Fairy Technology is very much focused on what they’re finding fun in a given moment, and not long-term goal-driven behaviour.

“I know that you’re on very good terms with the Fairies. I’ve been hearing rumours of your exploits.”

“Oh no…”

“But I’m sorry to say that this time we’ll be declining your services on the Fairy front. In the first place, this is an undertaking that’s happening worldwide. 
However, Camphorwood village is close to a huge amount of city ruins, and I have a professor next to me who has a bounty of knowledge and experience, as well as an unrivalled collection of books on all subjects. Your help will be indispensable for what we’ll be doing. 
And then of course we will be counting on your help as well, Granddaughter-chan.”

“Ah, sure.” I said, having trouble keeping up with the eloquence of this official.

The Office Chief continued.
“Oh and also, for our investigation of these city ruins, it looks like we’ll be needing a little help from your village on the manpower front.”

“It’ll have to be a very extensive investigation.”

Numerous city ruins of an unknown era, most of which have been eaten into by forests, are known to take tremendous amounts of work to explore, and you’re very unlikely to find anything to make it worth your time.

“Wouldn’t we need a power sauce?” I asked.

Present-day humans are only able to generate enough electricity to carry out absolutely essential tasks.

“You don’t need to worry in that regard,” grandad answered readily.

“We’ve had a satellite in our sights for some time now. It’s in working order and has all the functions we need. We also have the access codes, so all we need to do is fire up the receiver arial and we’ll be good to go.”

“Wait, does that mean we can use all the power we want?”

“Nope, it’s just for the investigation. The satellite’s going to need to be shared around different sites worldwide, so it won’t be made available for civilian use.”

“Of course it is,” I sad, mourning the brief hope I’d had of modern convenience.

“So there it is, Grandchild-chan. I’ll be counting on your help for the investigation!”

“Thank you sir.”

I was too tired to add any vigour to my response. I mean, the job he’s just given us is gigantic.

There’s still a decent chance that the project collapses before we have to start, at least.

“Excuse me, professor!” A villager shouted, panting from his sprint over to us.

“What’s the matter?”

“They’re saying a meteor’s fallen in a field over there!”

<center>◈</center>

“So this is the meteorite…”

Grandad and the Office Chief still had some more things to discuss, so me and the assistant were the first personnel sent over.

We were told to just set a perimeter and wait for our two seniors to arrive. They probably thought we’re too young to be trusted with much more than fending off rubberneckers.

However, when we arrived on site that damage was a little less than I expected.

The crater was in an empty paddock on the village outskirts. Barely any onlookers and no signs of a fire.

Doesn’t seem like we’ll have to take any action at all.

“Lets still set our perimeter, just in case.”

Along with the assistant, I set out marking the area with stakes and some rope.

“This is one hell of a sight, though.”

The crater was about ten meters in diameter, and in its epicentre was what looked like a black steel slab, about thirty centimetres long and stuck into the ground at an angle.

“It seems like a monolith,” I muttered, bending down.

It wasn’t hot, or even warm to the touch. Anything that flew in from space should head up from the friction of entering the atmosphere at high speed.

“This has to be manmade.”

The assistant nodded loudly in agreement.

Humans civilisation was indeed capable at one time of some impressive engineering.

“Maybe this was in orbit and finally fell down today…”

This was probably the most sensible explanation, but I don’t know much at all about space or planets, so I decided to wait for grandad.

Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to what looked like a barrage of torpedos combing through the grass towards us.

When they reached our feet they suddenly leaped straight up in the air.

“Surprise!”

They were fairies.

“You’re working hard!”

“Something fell down?”

“Seems like it, look there!”

“Ooh this is indeed very black-coloured!”

With very little concern for their own wellbeing, they crawled over the object, touching it all over to gather as much information as possible.

I heard some more rustling, and looked over to see another group of fairies arrive.

“Hello!”

“I came over!”

“Something fell down?”

“Let me join in?”

“Hmm, we’re going to need a roll call,” I said, urging the fairies to form a single file.

“Number one!”

“Number Two.”

“Trois”

“Left.”

“Right!”

They’re all in perfect order, hahah…

“Did you fairies have anything to do with making this monolith?”

The five fairies huddled together and whispered among themselves. Their representative came forward.

“This is the first time we ever seen it!”

“Is that right?”

Then this must be manmade technology.

Picking up the monolith, it was lighter than I thought it would be. Only about five kilograms, I’d say.

“Hmm…”

I shook it, and heard a rattling sound. It must have a hollow somewhere inside it.

“It’s rattle rattling to you?”

“Maybe it’s got a prize in it!”

“A secret compartment?”

“A little prize in a big box!”

“Very commercialistic!”

“My god, what era do I have to be from to understand you guys!” I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

“Huh?” a nearby fairy replied.

“This lightness and now this rattle-noise. I can’t help thinking this is just a piece of junk.”

My interest was rapidly diminishing.

“Oi! What’s it looking like?”

“Oh, hey Grandad. So this seems to be what’s fallen down.”

“What the hell are you doing touching it? All I said was to secure the… Oh, never mind. Pass it over, I’ll have a look.”

Grandad seemed annoyed that I’d gotten a head start examining.

“A monolith? We were told it was a meteorite. So this is what’s supposed to have fallen from the sky?” Grandad asked, brows furrowed in doubt.

“This was stuck into the ground right in the middle of this crater.”

“This is too light, there’s no damned way. This is too light to survive. You sure someone’s not playing a prank on us?” he said hurriedly.

“A meteorite is the sort of thing that fell and wiped all the dinosaurs in the transition from the Palaeocene Period and the Cretaceous Period. That transition is called the K-T Boundary, by the way. Compare that to how light this is. Feels like a cookie tin, if anything!”

“It doesn’t seem to be one of the fairies creations, at the very least.”

“A human creation…”

Grandad conducted a thorough examination of the object, holding it up and turning it around so he wouldn’t pass by any clues.

Finally, he tore his attention away from it, his interest exhausted.

“If we say that this really fell here…” I started.

“There’s no way. This should’ve by all accounts burned up in the atmosphere. This metal slab hasn’t got the imposing spaciness it needs to survive.”

Grandad lobbed the monolith back into the crater.

“Just some kinda prank”

“Yeah…”

“Lets go back.”

Grandad had started off towards home.

“Assistant, we’re going back to the office now!”

“…”

The assistant was looking at a mountain that was beyond the plain’s gentle slopes. At its base was a belt of dense vegetation.

I suddenly realised what he was enraptured by.

“That’s actually a city over there.”

“…?”

Although the assistant uttered words only very rarely, he often spoke using his moist eyes, his gestures, posture.

“Yep, an ancient city. Or rather, its ruins. Nobody lives there these days. There’s a lot of dangerous things there, and it’s swarming with feral dogs.”

“…”

“Huh? You think it looks awesome? Are you interested in cities, Assistant?”

Since the assistant spent his childhood all alone, maybe cities have their own special allure to him.

“Ooh, Assistant, you’re interested in city ruins, are you? Well do I have good news for you! What say you come with us two on a little expedition?”

It seems like Grandad had been mulling over the Human Monument project in his head.

The assistant stared at Grandad for a few seconds, and then gave a small nod.

“You’re coming as well, dearest daughter,” he made sure to add.

“Well I guess if you insist.”


“Are we going out?”

“We want to go too!”

“Are we allowed to come?”


“Sorry, but we humans have to get this investigation done all by ourselves,” Grandad replied, his voice much kinder in tone than the one he uses on me.


“Aww, that’s too bad”


Their round, clear button-eyes looked the same as always, but for some reason their expressions felt lonelier than usual.

“If you promise to lay off the mischief, we could allow one of you to accompany us as your representative.”

”It’s all good?”

“Only if it’s someone well behaved.”


“Yayayy!”

“We pick one out for you.”

“Gonna talk it out”

“Who do they mean by ‘Behave’?”

“No clue”


It didn’t seem like they’d reach a decision anytime soon.

“What should we do about the monolith?” I asked tentatively.

“Just leave it be.”

We left the crater and returned to the office. The fairies disappeared suddenly. They’ll declare their representative at a later date, I guess.

<center>◈</center>

A few days later, we’d already forgotten almost all about the meteorite.

As I was heading home a little before the sun started to set, I decided to detour down the main street so I could do some window-shopping at the supply convoy.

“What on earth?”

It was as if there was a festival on.

People I hadn’t seen before were milling back and forth, and scaffolding had been put up all along the buildings lining the street.

Workmen were rushing along the scaffolding, which was no less busy than the street below.

I’d never seen the town like this before.

Looking closely, carriages and hand-carts punctuated the streetside. Some of these were set up as stalls.

There were even private automobiles, which were extremely uncommon in these parts.

I was wondering whether it’d be okay to cut across the busy town square, when I recognised a lady from the supply convoy.

“Would you happen to know why it’s so busy here today?”

“Oh, it’s the Professor’s girl! Apparently it’s supposed to be some kind of festival.”

“Was there a festival planned for today?”

“Apparently they suddenly decided to have one,” she shrugged.

The supply convoy lady had been put in charge of food preparation, so we thanked her and let her continue on her way to the kitchen area.

I stood for a moment taking in this scene which was so unlike the usual morning rush.

This was a remarkably sudden festival.

I assumed that all these unfamiliar people were from neighbouring villages come to help set up, or involved directly with whatever this festival is meant to be.

The yells echoing through the square were much louder than usual, and there was a festive energy you never expect to feel in a village as quiet as ours.

I watched as a man carrying what looked like a bundle of rope run over to another worker, assumedly his colleague.

“By cable, do you mean this thing”

“Yep, that’s right, I remember seeing one of these babies hooked up. Musta been about twenty years ago now though!”

It sounds like they’re talking about an electrical cable.

Yet another man came by and dropped an armful of some flat ribbon-like cable on the ground in front of him.

“This is the right stuff, isn’t it? It’s got that same socket thing on it.”

“No no, this is just some decorative lights!”

“The hell are you talking about?”

“There’s little lights all along it, see?”

“What’re we gonna use them for, then? They gonna be our lighting?”

“These little coloured bulbs aren’t gonna be any use for lighting stuff up, mate.”

“So we don’t need them at all then?”

“No, don’t be too hasty now. Go hang them somewhere, the Office Chief told us to put out all the electrical stuff we could, remember?”

“Fair enough, I’ll just go find a house somewhere to chuck them over.”

He picked his bundle back up and dived back into the milling crowds.

”Hello, hello! Testing! Testing!!

“Gyaa!”

An explosion of broken sound echoed around the square. It felt like the stone building near us was about to shatter.

For a moment afterwards, everyone near us remained silent. After that, though…

“What the heck was that, is it broken?”

“Nope, it was just the mic clipping out.”

“Do you think it’ll be working by the time the festival starts?”

“I already said it’s not broken!”

“My eardrums have gone and torn themselves!”

“Oof, that was a surprise.”

“Put it up somewhere higher! God help me…”

The speaker that’d produced the terrible sound had been set up at ground level.

A few youngsters picked up the loud-speaker, which was shaped not unlike a lily-flower, and carried it off somewhere.

This sort of stuff happens when we take technology out of cold-storage like this.

“Oh, good morning Grandaughter-chan!”

“Office Chief… it’s good to see you.”

I tense up at the sudden arrival of my boss’s boss.

He was wearing his usual getup of a three-piece suit, but was sporting a safety helmet instead of his usual hat.

“I see you’re missing your had today.”

“Yes indeed. You see, according to gentleman-studies theory, a true gentleman will in workplaces such as this don the embodiment of ANZEN DAIICHI, or safety first, the safety helmet.”

I didn’t realise they were researching that…

“Is this festival related to the monument plan you were talking about before?”

“You mean the People Monument? Indeed you are correct. We’re planning to supply some of the power we’ve secured for our investigation of the city ruins to your village, which will become our base of operations.”

“You mean we’ll be able to use power in the village as well?”

“Yes, and what’s more there won’t be any restriction on its use. The energy we’ll be sent from our satellite is effectively limitless. It seems just a waste to use it only on our investigation. And that’s when we came up with our ‘Come and Be Amazed at our Electric Summer’ festival. When we talk about the culture of us primates, well that’s pretty much just electricity, isn’t it?”

“The culture of primates? This event sounds like it’s built on some pretty big ideas.”

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-30T15:04:31Z

Sophie:

__NOTOC__
[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita|Back to Index]] 
Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and the assistant brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.

“Assistant<ref>In Japanese, Grandpa refers to the assistant as “Joshu-kun” and Watashi says “Joshu-san”. At first I translated them as Assistant-kun and Assistant-san respectively, because just leaving it as “Assistant” reads as more than a little rude, but it was getting far too clunky putting these in sentences so I’ve gotten rid of the suffixes for now.</ref>, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[[File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

[[File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

[[File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

[[File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png|thumb|center|”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"]]

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the savouriness<ref>They use the term ’umami’ here, but since they seem to be referring to a more general savoury flavour, I went with the english term here.</ref> all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

<center>◈</center>

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before… 
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m his granddaughter,”

“You’re Granddaughter-chan<ref>’chan’ is a familiar suffix you can add to someone’s name in Japanese. It’s usually used when referring to children, and sometimes girls of equal or lower status.

Using it in the modern workplace is usually frowned upon, as it feels a little bit like calling your colleagues ‘darling’.</ref>, are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-chan. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone. If, or when, in the future a new species takes over earth, we need it to be something that can help them along their way. So we’ll need to pile in as much of our cultural works, science and history as possible, Granddaughter-chan”

Getting called ’Granddaughter-chan’ is getting a little gross.

“It sounds like it’ll be a really difficult plan to carry out…”

All of humanity’s culture, science and history. It’s hard to see it as anything other than a pipe dream.

“Keep in mind that when we say ’all the records’, we mean this as an ideal more that anything. In reality what the project boils down to is trying to find and then compile as much data as we can.” Grandad added

“Do you mean as paper records?”

“Nope, we’re planning to scrape together all of the storage technology we still have available to us today, and then design a specialised structure to put it in. We’ll then input all of the information we’ve collected into that structure. And since this will be our monument, it has to be pretty sturdy as well. At the moment we’re thinking of making it the shape of a monolith.”

By definition, a monolith can be any kind of stone monument, but for some reason or other it’s usually taken to mean a black stone carved into special prism-like shapes.

In this case, the Office Chief probably means the latter.

“Are we going to be carrying this all out with human technology?” I asked hesitantly.

“It’ll likely take more than a few years” Granddad said, grimacing a little.

He’d know this project was a little large in scale for someone who was supposed to be retired.

“What if you were to borrow the Fairies’ power?”

“You think they’d give us something in line with our plan?”

“Very true.”

This time it was my turn to grimace. Fairy Technology is very much focused on what they’re finding fun in a given moment, and not long-term goal-driven behaviour.

“I know that you’re on very good terms with the Fairies. I’ve been hearing rumours of your exploits.”

“Oh no…”

“But I’m sorry to say that this time we’ll be declining your services on the Fairy front. In the first place, this is an undertaking that’s happening worldwide. 
However, Camphorwood village is close to a huge amount of city ruins, and I have a professor next to me who has a bounty of knowledge and experience, as well as an unrivalled collection of books on all subjects. Your help will be indispensable for what we’ll be doing. 
And then of course we will be counting on your help as well, Granddaughter-chan.”

“Ah, sure.” I said, having trouble keeping up with the eloquence of this official.

The Office Chief continued.
“Oh and also, for our investigation of these city ruins, it looks like we’ll be needing a little help from your village on the manpower front.”

“It’ll have to be a very extensive investigation.”

Numerous city ruins of an unknown era, most of which have been eaten into by forests, are known to take tremendous amounts of work to explore, and you’re very unlikely to find anything to make it worth your time.

“Wouldn’t we need a power sauce?” I asked.

Present-day humans are only able to generate enough electricity to carry out absolutely essential tasks.

“You don’t need to worry in that regard,” grandad answered readily.

“We’ve had a satellite in our sights for some time now. It’s in working order and has all the functions we need. We also have the access codes, so all we need to do is fire up the receiver arial and we’ll be good to go.”

“Wait, does that mean we can use all the power we want?”

“Nope, it’s just for the investigation. The satellite’s going to need to be shared around different sites worldwide, so it won’t be made available for civilian use.”

“Of course it is,” I sad, mourning the brief hope I’d had of modern convenience.

“So there it is, Grandchild-chan. I’ll be counting on your help for the investigation!”

“Thank you sir.”

I was too tired to add any vigour to my response. I mean, the job he’s just given us is gigantic.

There’s still a decent chance that the project collapses before we have to start, at least.

“Excuse me, professor!” A villager shouted, panting from his sprint over to us.

“What’s the matter?”

“They’re saying a meteor’s fallen in a field over there!”

<center>◈</center>

“So this is the meteorite…”

Grandad and the Office Chief still had some more things to discuss, so me and the assistant were the first personnel sent over.

We were told to just set a perimeter and wait for our two seniors to arrive. They probably thought we’re too young to be trusted with much more than fending off rubberneckers.

However, when we arrived on site that damage was a little less than I expected.

The crater was in an empty paddock on the village outskirts. Barely any onlookers and no signs of a fire.

Doesn’t seem like we’ll have to take any action at all.

“Lets still set our perimeter, just in case.”

Along with the assistant, I set out marking the area with stakes and some rope.

“This is one hell of a sight, though.”

The crater was about ten meters in diameter, and in its epicentre was what looked like a black steel slab, about thirty centimetres long and stuck into the ground at an angle.

“It seems like a monolith,” I muttered, bending down.

It wasn’t hot, or even warm to the touch. Anything that flew in from space should head up from the friction of entering the atmosphere at high speed.

“This has to be manmade.”

The assistant nodded loudly in agreement.

Humans civilisation was indeed capable at one time of some impressive engineering.

“Maybe this was in orbit and finally fell down today…”

This was probably the most sensible explanation, but I don’t know much at all about space or planets, so I decided to wait for grandad.

Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to what looked like a barrage of torpedos combing through the grass towards us.

When they reached our feet they suddenly leaped straight up in the air.

“Surprise!”

They were fairies.

“You’re working hard!”

“Something fell down?”

“Seems like it, look there!”

“Ooh this is indeed very black-coloured!”

With very little concern for their own wellbeing, they crawled over the object, touching it all over to gather as much information as possible.

I heard some more rustling, and looked over to see another group of fairies arrive.

“Hello!”

“I came over!”

“Something fell down?”

“Let me join in?”

“Hmm, we’re going to need a roll call,” I said, urging the fairies to form a single file.

“Number one!”

“Number Two.”

“Trois”

“Left.”

“Right!”

They’re all in perfect order, hahah…

“Did you fairies have anything to do with making this monolith?”

The five fairies huddled together and whispered among themselves. Their representative came forward.

“This is the first time we ever seen it!”

“Is that right?”

Then this must be manmade technology.

Picking up the monolith, it was lighter than I thought it would be. Only about five kilograms, I’d say.

“Hmm…”

I shook it, and heard a rattling sound. It must have a hollow somewhere inside it.

“It’s rattle rattling to you?”

“Maybe it’s got a prize in it!”

“A secret compartment?”

“A little prize in a big box!”

“Very commercialistic!”

“My god, what era do I have to be from to understand you guys!” I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

“Huh?” a nearby fairy replied.

“This lightness and now this rattle-noise. I can’t help thinking this is just a piece of junk.”

My interest was rapidly diminishing.

“Oi! What’s it looking like?”

“Oh, hey Grandad. So this seems to be what’s fallen down.”

“What the hell are you doing touching it? All I said was to secure the… Oh, never mind. Pass it over, I’ll have a look.”

Grandad seemed annoyed that I’d gotten a head start examining.

“A monolith? We were told it was a meteorite. So this is what’s supposed to have fallen from the sky?” Grandad asked, brows furrowed in doubt.

“This was stuck into the ground right in the middle of this crater.”

“This is too light, there’s no damned way. This is too light to survive. You sure someone’s not playing a prank on us?” he said hurriedly.

“A meteorite is the sort of thing that fell and wiped all the dinosaurs in the transition from the Palaeocene Period and the Cretaceous Period. That transition is called the K-T Boundary, by the way. Compare that to how light this is. Feels like a cookie tin, if anything!”

“It doesn’t seem to be one of the fairies creations, at the very least.”

“A human creation…”

Grandad conducted a thorough examination of the object, holding it up and turning it around so he wouldn’t pass by any clues.

Finally, he tore his attention away from it, his interest exhausted.

“If we say that this really fell here…” I started.

“There’s no way. This should’ve by all accounts burned up in the atmosphere. This metal slab hasn’t got the imposing spaciness it needs to survive.”

Grandad lobbed the monolith back into the crater.

“Just some kinda prank”

“Yeah…”

“Lets go back.”

Grandad had started off towards home.

“Assistant, we’re going back to the office now!”

“…”

The assistant was looking at a mountain that was beyond the plain’s gentle slopes. At its base was a belt of dense vegetation.

I suddenly realised what he was enraptured by.

“That’s actually a city over there.”

“…?”

Although the assistant uttered words only very rarely, he often spoke using his moist eyes, his gestures, posture.

“Yep, an ancient city. Or rather, its ruins. Nobody lives there these days. There’s a lot of dangerous things there, and it’s swarming with feral dogs.”

“…”

“Huh? You think it looks awesome? Are you interested in cities, Assistant?”

Since the assistant spent his childhood all alone, maybe cities have their own special allure to him.

“Ooh, Assistant, you’re interested in city ruins, are you? Well do I have good news for you! What say you come with us two on a little expedition?”

It seems like Grandad had been mulling over the Human Monument project in his head.

The assistant stared at Grandad for a few seconds, and then gave a small nod.

“You’re coming as well, dearest daughter,” he made sure to add.

“Well I guess if you insist.”


“Are we going out?”

“We want to go too!”

“Are we allowed to come?”


“Sorry, but we humans have to get this investigation done all by ourselves,” Grandad replied, his voice much kinder in tone than the one he uses on me.


“Aww, that’s too bad”


Their round, clear button-eyes looked the same as always, but for some reason their expressions felt lonelier than usual.

“If you promise to lay off the mischief, we could allow one of you to accompany us as your representative.”

”It’s all good?”

“Only if it’s someone well behaved.”


“Yayayy!”

“We pick one out for you.”

“Gonna talk it out”

“Who do they mean by ‘Behave’?”

“No clue”


It didn’t seem like they’d reach a decision anytime soon.

“What should we do about the monolith?” I asked tentatively.

“Just leave it be.”

We left the crater and returned to the office. The fairies disappeared suddenly. They’ll declare their representative at a later date, I guess.

<center>◈</center>

A few days later, we’d already forgotten almost all about the meteorite.

As I was heading home a little before the sun started to set, I decided to detour down the main street so I could do some window-shopping at the supply convoy.

“What on earth?”

It was as if there was a festival on.

People I hadn’t seen before were milling back and forth, and scaffolding had been put up all along the buildings lining the street.

Workmen were rushing along the scaffolding, which was no less busy than the street below.

I’d never seen the town like this before.

Looking closely, carriages and hand-carts punctuated the streetside. Some of these were set up as stalls.

There were even private automobiles, which were extremely uncommon in these parts.

I was wondering whether it’d be okay to cut across the busy central plaza, when I recognised a lady from the supply convoy.

“Would you happen to know why it’s so busy here today?”

“Oh, it’s the Professor’s girl! Apparently it’s supposed to be some kind of festival.”

“Was there a festival planned for today?”

“Apparently they suddenly decided to have one,” she shrugged.

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-30T15:02:36Z

Sophie:

__NOTOC__
[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita|Back to Index]] 
Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and the assistant brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.

“Assistant<ref>In Japanese, Grandpa refers to the assistant as “Joshu-kun” and Watashi says “Joshu-san”. At first I translated them as Assistant-kun and Assistant-san respectively, because just leaving it as “Assistant” reads as more than a little rude, but it was getting far too clunky putting these in sentences so I’ve gotten rid of the suffixes for now.</ref>, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[[File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

[[File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

[[File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

[[File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png|thumb|center|”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"]]

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the savouriness<ref>They use the term ’umami’ here, but since they seem to be referring to a more general savoury flavour, I went with the english term here.</ref> all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

<center>◈</center>

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before… 
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m his granddaughter,”

“You’re Granddaughter-chan<ref>’chan’ is a familiar suffix you can add to someone’s name in Japanese. It’s usually used when referring to children, and sometimes girls of equal or lower status.

Using it in the modern workplace is usually frowned upon, as it feels a little bit like calling your colleagues ‘darling’.</ref>, are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-chan. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone. If, or when, in the future a new species takes over earth, we need it to be something that can help them along their way. So we’ll need to pile in as much of our cultural works, science and history as possible, Granddaughter-chan”

Getting called ’Granddaughter-chan’ is getting a little gross.

“It sounds like it’ll be a really difficult plan to carry out…”

All of humanity’s culture, science and history. It’s hard to see it as anything other than a pipe dream.

“Keep in mind that when we say ’all the records’, we mean this as an ideal more that anything. In reality what the project boils down to is trying to find and then compile as much data as we can.” Grandad added

“Do you mean as paper records?”

“Nope, we’re planning to scrape together all of the storage technology we still have available to us today, and then design a specialised structure to put it in. We’ll then input all of the information we’ve collected into that structure. And since this will be our monument, it has to be pretty sturdy as well. At the moment we’re thinking of making it the shape of a monolith.”

By definition, a monolith can be any kind of stone monument, but for some reason or other it’s usually taken to mean a black stone carved into special prism-like shapes.

In this case, the Office Chief probably means the latter.

“Are we going to be carrying this all out with human technology?” I asked hesitantly.

“It’ll likely take more than a few years” Granddad said, grimacing a little.

He’d know this project was a little large in scale for someone who was supposed to be retired.

“What if you were to borrow the Fairies’ power?”

“You think they’d give us something in line with our plan?”

“Very true.”

This time it was my turn to grimace. Fairy Technology is very much focused on what they’re finding fun in a given moment, and not long-term goal-driven behaviour.

“I know that you’re on very good terms with the Fairies. I’ve been hearing rumours of your exploits.”

“Oh no…”

“But I’m sorry to say that this time we’ll be declining your services on the Fairy front. In the first place, this is an undertaking that’s happening worldwide. 
However, Camphorwood village is close to a huge amount of city ruins, and I have a professor next to me who has a bounty of knowledge and experience, as well as an unrivalled collection of books on all subjects. Your help will be indispensable for what we’ll be doing. 
And then of course we will be counting on your help as well, Granddaughter-chan.”

“Ah, sure.” I said, having trouble keeping up with the eloquence of this official.

The Office Chief continued.
“Oh and also, for our investigation of these city ruins, it looks like we’ll be needing a little help from your village on the manpower front.”

“It’ll have to be a very extensive investigation.”

Numerous city ruins of an unknown era, most of which have been eaten into by forests, are known to take tremendous amounts of work to explore, and you’re very unlikely to find anything to make it worth your time.

“Wouldn’t we need a power sauce?” I asked.

Present-day humans are only able to generate enough electricity to carry out absolutely essential tasks.

“You don’t need to worry in that regard,” grandad answered readily.

“We’ve had a satellite in our sights for some time now. It’s in working order and has all the functions we need. We also have the access codes, so all we need to do is fire up the receiver arial and we’ll be good to go.”

“Wait, does that mean we can use all the power we want?”

“Nope, it’s just for the investigation. The satellite’s going to need to be shared around different sites worldwide, so it won’t be made available for civilian use.”

“Of course it is,” I sad, mourning the brief hope I’d had of modern convenience.

“So there it is, Grandchild-chan. I’ll be counting on your help for the investigation!”

“Thank you sir.”

I was too tired to add any vigour to my response. I mean, the job he’s just given us is gigantic.

There’s still a decent chance that the project collapses before we have to start, at least.

“Excuse me, professor!” A villager shouted, panting from his sprint over to us.

“What’s the matter?”

“They’re saying a meteor’s fallen in a field over there!”

<center>◈</center>

“So this is the meteorite…”

Grandad and the Office Chief still had some more things to discuss, so me and the assistant were the first personnel sent over.

We were told to just set a perimeter and wait for our two seniors to arrive. They probably thought we’re too young to be trusted with much more than fending off rubberneckers.

However, when we arrived on site that damage was a little less than I expected.

The crater was in an empty paddock on the village outskirts. Barely any onlookers and no signs of a fire.

Doesn’t seem like we’ll have to take any action at all.

“Lets still set our perimeter, just in case.”

Along with the assistant, I set out marking the area with stakes and some rope.

“This is one hell of a sight, though.”

The crater was about ten meters in diameter, and in its epicentre was what looked like a black steel slab, about thirty centimetres long and stuck into the ground at an angle.

“It seems like a monolith,” I muttered, bending down.

It wasn’t hot, or even warm to the touch. Anything that flew in from space should head up from the friction of entering the atmosphere at high speed.

“This has to be manmade.”

The assistant nodded loudly in agreement.

Humans civilisation was indeed capable at one time of some impressive engineering.

“Maybe this was in orbit and finally fell down today…”

This was probably the most sensible explanation, but I don’t know much at all about space or planets, so I decided to wait for grandad.

Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to what looked like a barrage of torpedos combing through the grass towards us.

When they reached our feet they suddenly leaped straight up in the air.

“Surprise!”

They were fairies.

“You’re working hard!”

“Something fell down?”

“Seems like it, look there!”

“Ooh this is indeed very black-coloured!”

With very little concern for their own wellbeing, they crawled over the object, touching it all over to gather as much information as possible.

I heard some more rustling, and looked over to see another group of fairies arrive.

“Hello!”

“I came over!”

“Something fell down?”

“Let me join in?”

“Hmm, we’re going to need a roll call,” I said, urging the fairies to form a single file.

“Number one!”

“Number Two.”

“Trois”

“Left.”

“Right!”

They’re all in perfect order, hahah…

“Did you fairies have anything to do with making this monolith?”

The five fairies huddled together and whispered among themselves. Their representative came forward.

“This is the first time we ever seen it!”

“Is that right?”

Then this must be manmade technology.

Picking up the monolith, it was lighter than I thought it would be. Only about five kilograms, I’d say.

“Hmm…”

I shook it, and heard a rattling sound. It must have a hollow somewhere inside it.

“It’s rattle rattling to you?”

“Maybe it’s got a prize in it!”

“A secret compartment?”

“A little prize in a big box!”

“Very commercialistic!”

“My god, what era do I have to be from to understand you guys!” I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

“Huh?” a nearby fairy replied.

“This lightness and now this rattle-noise. I can’t help thinking this is just a piece of junk.”

My interest was rapidly diminishing.

“Oi! What’s it looking like?”

“Oh, hey Grandad. So this seems to be what’s fallen down.”

“What the hell are you doing touching it? All I said was to secure the… Oh, never mind. Pass it over, I’ll have a look.”

Grandad seemed annoyed that I’d gotten a head start examining.

“A monolith? We were told it was a meteorite. So this is what’s supposed to have fallen from the sky?” Grandad asked, brows furrowed in doubt.

“This was stuck into the ground right in the middle of this crater.”

“This is too light, there’s no damned way. This is too light to survive. You sure someone’s not playing a prank on us?” he said hurriedly.

“A meteorite is the sort of thing that fell and wiped all the dinosaurs in the transition from the Palaeocene Period and the Cretaceous Period. That transition is called the K-T Boundary, by the way. Compare that to how light this is. Feels like a cookie tin, if anything!”

“It doesn’t seem to be one of the fairies creations, at the very least.”

“A human creation…”

Grandad conducted a thorough examination of the object, holding it up and turning it around so he wouldn’t pass by any clues.

Finally, he tore his attention away from it, his interest exhausted.

“If we say that this really fell here…” I started.

“There’s no way. This should’ve by all accounts burned up in the atmosphere. This metal slab hasn’t got the imposing spaciness it needs to survive.”

Grandad lobbed the monolith back into the crater.

“Just some kinda prank”

“Yeah…”

“Lets go back.”

Grandad had started off towards home.

“Assistant, we’re going back to the office now!”

“…”

The assistant was looking at a mountain that was beyond the plain’s gentle slopes. At its base was a belt of dense vegetation.

I suddenly realised what he was enraptured by.

“That’s actually a city over there.”

“…?”

Although the assistant uttered words only very rarely, he often spoke using his moist eyes, his gestures, posture.

“Yep, an ancient city. Or rather, its ruins. Nobody lives there these days. There’s a lot of dangerous things there, and it’s swarming with feral dogs.”

“…”

“Huh? You think it looks awesome? Are you interested in cities, Assistant?”

Since the assistant spent his childhood all alone, maybe cities have their own special allure to him.

“Ooh, Assistant, you’re interested in city ruins, are you? Well do I have good news for you! What say you come with us two on a little expedition?”

It seems like Grandad had been mulling over the Human Monument project in his head.

The assistant stared at Grandad for a few seconds, and then gave a small nod.

“You’re coming as well, dearest daughter,” he made sure to add.

“Well I guess if you insist.”


“Are we going out?”

“We want to go too!”

“Are we allowed to come?”


“Sorry, but we humans have to get this investigation done all by ourselves,” Grandad replied, his voice much kinder in tone than the one he uses on me.


“Aww, that’s too bad”


Their round, clear button-eyes looked the same as always, but for some reason their expressions felt lonelier than usual.

“If you promise to lay off the mischief, we could allow one of you to accompany us as your representative.”

”It’s all good?”

“Only if it’s someone well behaved.”


“Yayayy!”

“We pick one out for you.”

“Gonna talk it out”

“Who do they mean by ‘Behave’?”

“No clue”


It didn’t seem like they’d reach a decision anytime soon.

“What should we do about the monolith?” I asked tentatively.

“Just leave it be.”

We left the crater and returned to the office. The fairies disappeared suddenly. They’ll declare their representative at a later date, I guess.

A few days later, we’d already forgotten almost all about the meteorite.

As I was heading home a little before the sun started to set, I decided to detour down the main street so I could do some window-shopping at the supply convoy.

“What on earth?”

It was as if there was a festival on.

People I hadn’t seen before were milling back and forth, and scaffolding had been put up all along the buildings lining the street.

Workmen were rushing along the scaffolding, which was no less busy than the street below.

I’d never seen the town like this before.

Looking closely, carriages and hand-carts punctuated the streetside. Some of these were set up as stalls.

There were even private automobiles, which were extremely uncommon in these parts.

I was wondering whether it’d be okay to cut across the busy central plaza, when I recognised a lady from the supply convoy.

“Would you happen to know why it’s so busy here today?”

“Oh, it’s the Professor’s girl! Apparently it’s supposed to be some kind of festival.”

“Was there a festival planned for today?”

“Apparently they suddenly decided to have one,” she shrugged.

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-22T07:18:03Z

Sophie:

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-22T07:13:09Z

Sophie:

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-22T07:11:25Z

Sophie:

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-18T13:29:24Z

Sophie:

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-12T17:23:26Z

Sophie:

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-12T10:43:06Z

Sophie:

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-07T16:44:26Z

Sophie:

__NOTOC__
Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and Assistant-san brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.[]

“Assistant-kun, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[[File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

[[File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

[[File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

[[File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png|thumb|center|”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"]]

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the umami all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

<center>◈</center>

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before… 
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m the granddaughter,”

“You’re Granddaughter-chan, are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-chan. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone. 
If, and when, in the future a new species takes over earth, we need it to be something that can help them along their way. 
So we’ll need to pile in as much of our cultural works, science and history as possible, Granddaughter-chan”

Getting called ’Granddaughter-chan’ is getting a little gross.

“It sounds like it’ll be a really difficult plan to carry out…”

All of humanity’s culture, science and history. It’s hard to see it as anything other than a pipe dream.

“Keep in mind that when we say ’all the records’, we mean this as an ideal more that anything. 
In reality what the project boils down to is trying to find and then compile as much data as we can.” Grandad added

“Do you mean as paper records?”

“Nope, we’re planning to scrape together all of the storage technology we still have available to us today, and then design a specialised structure to put it in. 
We’ll then input all of the information we’ve collected into that structure. And since this will be our monument, it has to be pretty sturdy as well. 
At the moment we’re thinking of making it the shape of a monolith.”

By definition, a monolith can be any kind of stone monument, but for some reason or other it’s usually taken to mean a black stone carved into special prism-like shapes.

In this case, the Office Chief probably means the latter.

“Are we going to be carrying this all out with human technology?” I asked hesitantly.

“It’ll likely take more than a few years” Granddad said, grimacing a little.

He’d know this project was a little large in scale for someone who was supposed to be retired.

“What if you were to borrow the Fairies’ power?”

“You think they’d give us something in line with our plan?”

“Very true.”

This time it was my turn to grimace. Fairy Technology is very much focused on what they’re finding fun in a given moment, and not long-term goal-driven behaviour.

“I know that you’re on very good terms with the Fairies. I’ve been hearing rumours of your exploits.”

“Oh no…”

“But I’m sorry to say that this time we’ll be declining your services on the Fairy front. In the first place, this is an undertaking that’s happening worldwide. 
However, Kusunoki village is close to a huge amount of city ruins, and I have a professor next to me who has a bounty of knowledge and experience, as well as an unrivalled collection of books on all subjects. Your help will be indispensable for what we’ll be doing. 
And then of course we will be counting on your help as well, Granddaughter-chan.”

“Ah, sure.” I said, having trouble keeping up with the eloquence of this official.

The Office Chief continued.
“Oh and also, for our investigation of these city ruins, it looks like we’ll be needing a little help from your village on the manpower front.”

“It’ll have to be a very extensive investigation.”

Numerous city ruins of an unknown era, most of which have been eaten into by forests, are known to take tremendous amounts of work to explore, and you’re very unlikely to find anything to make it worth your time.

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-04T19:37:28Z

Sophie: /* The Fairies’ Homecoming */

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-04T19:30:13Z

Sophie:

__NOTOC__
Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and Assistant-san brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.[]

“Assistant-kun, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[[File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

[[File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

[[File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

[[File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png|thumb|center|”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"]]

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the umami all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before… 
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m the granddaughter,”

“You’re Granddaughter-chan, are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-chan. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone.

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-04T19:29:56Z

Sophie: /* The Fairies’ Homecoming */

__NOTOC__

Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
__NOTOC__
Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations
==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and Assistant-san brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.[]

“Assistant-kun, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[[File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

[[File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

[[File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png|thumb|center]]

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

[[File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png|thumb|center|”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"]]

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the umami all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before… 
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m the granddaughter,”

“You’re Granddaughter-chan, are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-chan. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone.

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-03T10:55:41Z

Sophie:

File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png

2025-01-03T10:54:38Z

Sophie: Sophie uploaded a new version of File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png

The Fairies' Homecoming

File:Volume 3 page 20 new edition.png

2025-01-03T10:45:03Z

Sophie:

Page 12 of assistant's book

File:Jintai 3 page 17 new edition.png

2025-01-03T10:42:23Z

Sophie:

Fourth page of the assistant's book

File:Jintai Volume 3 Page 16 new edition.png

2025-01-03T10:39:31Z

Sophie:

The third page of the assistant's picture book

File:Jintai 3 Page 15 new edition.png

2025-01-03T10:34:21Z

Sophie:

First page of the assistant's picture book

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

2025-01-03T10:19:17Z

Sophie: Created page with "==The Fairies’ Homecoming== center Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed. The numerous cities that once cove..."

==The Fairies’ Homecoming==
[[File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png|thumb|center]]
Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay. 
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked. 
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and Assistant-san brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.[]

“Assistant-kun, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his character a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Pals” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters were a pair of small yellow baby birds:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

[Picture here]

The picture book started like this.

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

===== Page 2 =====

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

File:Jintai 3 page 9 second edition.png

2025-01-03T10:11:59Z

Sophie:

The Fairies' Homecoming

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2025-01-03T08:12:43Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]] 
''Note: Annotations still need to be added''
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."

"Ahh!" Aika gasped.

She was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest.

Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air.

Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist.

By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had passed through. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy.

Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy.

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"

After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. He'd used the same attack in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ’Great Trials’, Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind, simply returning to the universe.
As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let grief weigh you down forever.
Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily. Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<center>◇</center>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we <i’>can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum said, her voice steeped with disappointment.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start.

A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started-

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of ordinary life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of ordinary life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”
[[File:Chapter 2 img2.png|thumb|“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!” ]]

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

I wouldn’t have any hesitation borrowing some of his power.

Mum had her head down, apparently lost in thought.

“In that case… could you maybe use that orb to make another Tailgear?” she said hopefully.

She was providing perspective that was far from what you’d expect from an ordinary person.

“Please don’t say you want to join us with your own Tailgear, mum!”

“Don’t worry, Soo-chan” she replied teasingly,

“Mum doesn’t have a thread of Twintail element in her.”

That may be the case, but there was another element inside of her growing day upon day at an alarming rate.

“And Souji, it’s true that in the past I longed to be a superhero, but now I’m the superhero’s mother, Mitsuka Miharu. Just being your mum is enough for me, I’m not greedy enough to ask for any more than what I have now.”

She always says moving stuff like this when I’m not ready for it.

Looking down at her outfit, though, I was soon pulled back to reality.

“You are right though, it would be reassuring to have another member”

A new Twintail.

As I was sitting letting my imagination run wild, Twoearle rushed towards me.

“No, Souji-sama! We don’t want to bring anyone else into this war!”

On top of this, TailBlue, who until now was in the corner fighting with her Tailgear and the Large Bust Elemera Orb, stumbled towards me, grabbing my collar.

“That’s right Souji! You don’t want to force another innocent girl to fight against those perverted monsters, do you?”

“I don’t… but if we think about everything that’s ahead of us, having an extra member would help an awful l—“

“NO!!!” Aika and Twoearle shouted in unison.

“Okay…” I said, shrinking back into my chair.

Judging by the pressure being brought to bear on me, there was no arguing with them on this.

I understand what they’re saying about exposing people to danger. I couldn’t help but feel, however, that the violent refusal in their eyes was for another reason entirely.

“But it may be of use having a spare Tailgear, just in case. Aika’s bracelet in particular has been in service for a long time,” Twoearle suggested.

“I’m happy to keep using this one, though.”

Aika patted her Elemeletion unit fondly. It was wet from saliva, assumedly she’d been biting it in her attempts to get it to work earlier.

“There’s actually some research I’ve been working on recently. It’s to do with hybridising Elemerian Orbs.”

“Hybrid… Orbs?”

Twoearle displayed a blueprint up on her console. It was too complicated for me to glean anything much from, but a line connected an Elemera Orb and the Tailbrace.

“While watching Tailred I had a thought- Souji-sama turns into a young girl when he activates his Tailgear. But it’s not like I put my young girl element in there or anything like that. Even now I’m struggling to understand what happened.

So I was thinking, what if we were able to turn this coincidence into an inevitability?”

“You’re talking about trying to intentionally combine elements with each other?” I asked.

Twoearle nodded.

“Take that Large Bust element we were unable to use, for example. What if we could take that and fuse it into a Tailgear.

That way we might be able to get it to affect our transformation, even without using Elemeletion.”

Aika reacted keenly. We all watched as, in seconds, the light returned to her eyes.

“So that means we can make a new TailBlue with more boobs?”

“Well I’m still in the research phase…”

As Aika sprung out of her chair, deactivated her Tailgear in mid air and landed in front of Twoearle and pressed her hands together in prayer.

She fixed her eyes intently on Twoearle-

“Please, Twoearle! When you finished that Tailgear could you give it to me, please?”

“Didn’t you just say you were happy with the one you’ve got now?!”

“If it’s a brand new one then it’s a different matter entirely. When I turn this one on it makes a scraping noise, it gets way to hot and then it goes and freezes me! I’m gonna need an upgrade soon.”

It sounds more like a dying computer. You don’t say that stuff when the previous owner’s present!

—Is what I was thinking, but for some reason, far from being angry, Twoearle was smiling warmly. Wait, this smile…

“So you want a new one, do you?♪”

I remember seeing this pattern before. Aika is one thing, but Twoearle really should’ve learned better by now.

“Hehe, okay! But first, you have to apologise for how rude you’ve been to me up until now. And then you have to revere me by calling me ‘Twoearle-sama’.”

“Twoearle-sama!! I’m sorry for everything!” Aika blurted out without a moment of hesitation.

She was bent down in a dogeza position, her head against the floor.

“This can’t be true!! Someone actually managed to get a demon like Aika to bow down to them!” I yelled, unable to control myself.

This has to be a lie.

Aika’s the sort of person who even if she really really should apologise to someone, she’d rather throw a punch instead and deal with the fallout later, if ever. I’ve never seen her lower her head to someone in all the years I’ve known her. But now a dogeza, of all things!

“Please stop it and stand back up, Aika-san! I know you’re just going to get back at me later!” Twoearle stammered.

Aika raised her head slowly, but instead of standing up, she looked Twoearle in the eyes and shocked us even more.

“Please Twoearle-sama, I’ll do anything!”

“You’re crying blood?!”

Tears of blood. Sorrowful wailing of the soul. Pleading with someone like Twoearle, who for some reason Aika saw as a sort of rival. Throwing her pride away and performing a dogeza like this.

“Boobs really mean this much to you?” I whispered, mostly to myself.

I’m sorry Aika, I’ll never tease you about your chest ever again.

“My only obvious flaw is having no boobs! I lack that key symbol of motherly instinct!”

“What do you mean ‘symbol’? I’ve never seen this ‘motherly instinct’ you speak of!” I snapped.

“Women always want a big chest, no matter how much they try to say otherwise!

Even if they’re denying it going ‘I’ve got enough going for me, I don’t need one!’, just grab them by the lapel and shake them around a bit and they’ll be like ‘I take it back’!”

“Forget boobs for a second, Aika. Have you ever tried resolving a conflict with someone while keeping your hands under restrained behind your back?” I retorted drily.

“Souji-sama, I know I’m someone who denies everything Aika says on principal, but I’m of the same mind as her on this one. There’s not a woman on earth who can break this steadfast rule. Life’s full of ups and downs and you can’t make omelettes without breaking eggs.”

“Ah, right. Got it.”

Girls sure have a lot to deal with.

“If it meant I got massive boobs I’d be willing to murder every god there is, one after another.”

“If humans went and rebelled against the gods for reasons like that then they’d abandon us in the blink of an eye!”

“…breasts… please!” Aika pleaded in agony.

As if she’d been lost in the desert for three days without food or water, Aika’s voice reduced to a half-delirious mumble.

Twoearle lowered herself onto one knee and placed a hand on Aika’s shoulder. Even she couldn’t bear watching anymore, at least for now.

“I hear your pleas, and I’ll do everything I can to fulfil your request.”

“Twoearle-sama!”

Aika was so moved she hugged Twoearle, her face wet with tears. Even so, she was careful to wrap her arms around her navel, avoiding the chest.

“It seems like I’ve gone soft. I never thought I’d resolve to do something this kind for an enemy, of all people,”

“Thank you! Thank you! I’ll never forget your kindness! I’ll make it worth it for you, no matter how long it takes!”

“Don’t worry about it, Aika-san. After all, isn’t this what friends are for?”

Enemies one minute, friends the next. These two sure lead an eventful social-life. No matter how much they fight though, I could tell how much they cared for each other.

The pair seemed to have gotten closer than ever. But then I saw something else.

Down at Aika, wrapped around her legs still sobbing weakly, the most malicious smirk I’d ever seen flashing across Twoearle’s face.

<center>◇</center>

From tomorrow afternoon, we’d be starting Golden Week break. Lively key-tapping echoed through the Twintail Club room.

Twoearle had what looked like blueprints for the Tailgear on her laptop. The wireframe was adorned with countless variables and equations, and the piled-up windows were being cycled through at dizzying speeds.

Watching Twoearle’s two hands freely manipulate science beyond this world’s comprehension, I remembered how extraordinary Twoearle is.

The first impression I had of Twoearle, long since destroyed by her constant fooling-around, had finally started to regain its form. That otherworldly air…

“How long do you think it’ll take to complete this new Tailbrace?”

“I should be able to finish it off by the end of Golden Week. I need to make sure I integrate these new functions into the existing design properly before I start production.”

“Sounds good. Don’t rush yourself though, we need you to stay healthy for us.”

“Thank you, Souji-sama. I’m planning to pass out defenceless from exhaustion today, so I’ll be in your care. At that point I’ll be so spent my clothes will be coming undone. I’ll make sure of it!”

“I just told you to look after yourself!”

Twoearle was able to built the underground hideout over the course of one night. For construction to take her this long, I can only imaging the degree of hypertechnology our Tailgears make use of.

Aika approached Twoearle hesitantly, holding a tray with a single teacup on it.

“Twoearle-sama, some tea for you.”

“Oh, thank you very much!”

“I feel awful for making you spend your precious holidays for my benefit, it’s the very least I can do!”

“No, you don’t have to worry about that! This is just part of our job protecting earth, after all!”

Twoearle took a tiny sip of the tea placed in front of her, and then returned it to its tray.

“It’d be tragic if this had been spiked with something. Aika-san, I’ll let you drink this instead.”

Usually if Twoearle had said something like this, Aika would’ve thrown the tea back in her face and told her to shut up and drink it. And then slam the metal tray in her face as if it were a cream pie.

“…Thank you,” Aika said falteringly, before returning to the desk in the corner where we keep the tea-set.

She’s been like this ever since Twoearle agreed to make the new Tailgear. Never losing her temper, just quietly obeying Twoearle.

“That reminds me, Souji-sama. There’s been tons of Twintails figures coming onto the market recently, but there’s something interesting about this set of kids meal toys I came across yesterday.”

Twoearle opened her web browser onto the page advertising the toys in question.

“Out of the eight figure variations, seven are of TailRed and only the final one is of Blue. The meals are sealed so you don’t know which one you’re getting.”

The models on the screen didn’t do the Twintails’ hair justice. Their hair lacked life.

When people get these figures, the first thing people will look at is the Twintails’ twintails. With budget products like this, if anything all the production resources should go into getting this single most important aspect right.

“Seven versus one, huh? Isn’t that weighted a bit heavily to one side?” I asked.

“You’re absolutely correct. With TailBlue looking like that people will just be disappointed when they find her. Maybe the sets with TailBlue in them could say what’s in them, as opposed to the usual random arrangement, just to ward off the endless stream of complaints.”

“No, that’s not what I…”

“I bet it’s cost reduction. Blue’s torso segment is just a rectangular prism, so it’d be much easier to make moulds for her.”

I looked across to Aika, who had the expression of a Buddha. Her face wearing a tranquil smile, hiding the range storming through her. Truly a dangerous state.

Maybe Twoearle found out she only had a month to live. That’s the only way to explain her juggling her life with her feet like it’s a soccer ball while standing by the edge of a cliff. This was enough to make any thrilling suspense movie seem garbage in comparison.

Aika noticed how much I was shaking, and gestured at me to chill out.

“What’re you doing freaking out like that. Putting up with this kind of thing is nothing to me. When I think back now, I did a few things to her myself.”

If we were to add up the accumulated damage Aika’s inflicted on Twoearle, it’d be enough to break three ten-tonne trucks into sawdust. I don’t know if I’d put that as ‘a few things’, but I’ll think about that later.

“This is a way for me to make amends for all of that stuff as well. And when it all feels too much I just think of the boobs I’ll be getting and I’m at peace again.” Aika said, looking as if she had a photograph of her smiling pasted over her face.

Let’s just say, god forbid… No, for sure with the tremendous technology Twoearle has showed us these last few months, she should be able to expand the chest of a single human.

But let’s imagine for a moment if Aika tries on this Tailgear she’s thrown away so much pride to get her hands on, and Twoearle’s hypothesis turns out to be wrong and Aika’s proportions stay the way they are.

If everything comes to a head like that…

Even though we’re still in the midst of spring, the sensation I’m feeling down my spine makes me long for my gloves and scarf again.

<center>◇</center>

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 3|Go to Chapter 3]]

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita

2025-01-01T10:30:07Z

Sophie: /* Translators */

{{Status|Active}}
[[Category:Light novel (English)]]
[[File:Jintai-Volume1-cover.jpg|300px|thumb]]
Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita (人類は衰退しました, Humanity Has Declined), or "Jintai" for short, is a light novel series written by Romeo Tanaka and published by Shogakukan under their imprint, Gagaga Bunko. The first six volumes were illustrated by Touru Yamasaki and the latter three were illustrated by Sunaho Tobe. The series is complete at 10 volumes.

The series has spun off three manga adaptations and an anime television series which aired in summer of 2012.

==Story Synopsis==

For years, declining birth rates have forced what's left of the human race to cede more and more territory to other beings who have appeared to take advantage of the emptying ecological niche. Now, only a handful of humans remain among the remnants of civilization and Earth is dominated by faeries —tiny, ten-centimeter tall creatures of surprising intelligence. But humanity's importance isn't over quite yet, as young Watashi learns as she makes the decision to return to her hometown and assume her grandfather's position as an arbitrator between the races. Unfortunately, the job isn't going to be anywhere near as simple as she expected, and it's going to take a wisdom far beyond her years to achieve her most important mission.

(Source: Sentai Filmworks via MyAnimeList)

== Translation ==

===Format Standards===
'''Every Chapter (after editing) must conform to the general format guidelines.'''
*[[Format_guideline|General Format/Style Guideline]]

=== [[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Registration Page|Registration]] ===

'''Translators are asked to [[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Registration Page|register]] which chapters they're working on'''

===Feedback===
If you enjoyed the translation, please tell us in the [https://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=5477 Feedback Thread].

==Updates==
*9 December 2014 - Project page created
*2 August 2020 - Heijou Unten Chapter 1 added
*5 August 2022 - Book 1 Chapter 1 completed
*18 October 2022 - Book 1 Chapter 2 completed
*25 October 2022 - Book 1 April Report completed
* 29 October 2022 - Book 1 completed
* 12 September 2023 - Book 2 full external draft (without images) completed

Older updates can be found on the [[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Updates|Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita Updates page]].

==''Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita'' by Romeo Tanaka==
===Volume 1 ([[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 1|Full text]])===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume1-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 1 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 1 Chapter 1|The Planet of the Fairies]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 1 Chapter 2|The Dawn of the Fairies]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 1 Epilogue|April Monthly Report]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 1 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>

===Volume 2===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume2-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 2 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 2 Chapter 1|Humanity's Law of the Jungle]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 2 Chapter 2|The Fairies' Time Management]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 2 Epilogue|May Monthly Report]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 2 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
===Volume 3===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume3-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1|The Fairies' Homecoming]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 2|The City of Imperial Tea and Bonsai]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Epilogue|June Monthly Report]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
===Volume 4===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume4-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 4 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 4 Chapter 1|The Fairies' Secret Factory]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 4 Chapter 2|The Fairies' Life as Castaways]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 4 Epilogue|July Monthly Report]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 4 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
===Volume 5===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume5-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 5 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 5 Chapter 1|The Fairies' Secret Tea Party]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 5 Chapter 2|The Fairies' One Hour A Day]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 5 Epilogue|August Monthly Report]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 5 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>

===Volume 6===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume6-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 6 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 6 Chapter 1|The Fairies Fly Very High]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 6 Chapter 2|The Fairies' Subculture]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 6 Epilogue|Winter Service Report]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 6 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>

===Volume 7===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume7-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 7 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 7 Chapter 1|The Fairies' Small School]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 7 Chapter 2|How Humans' Clean Things Up]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 7 Epilogue|Spring Service Report]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 7 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>

===Volume 8===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume8-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 8 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 8 Chapter 1|When We Met in the Fairies' Dream]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 8 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>

===Volume 9===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-Volume9-cover.jpg|200px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 9 Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 9 Chapter 1|The Fairies' Earth´ ]]
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 9 Afterword|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>

Note: Chapters' titles may be subject to change.

==Side Story==
===Heijou Unten===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Jintai-SP-cover.jpg|255px]]
| width="560px"|
:*[[Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:SP Illustrations|Novel Illustrations]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_1|The Working Fairies' Business Venture]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_2|The Working Fairies' Toy Food]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_3|A Message From the Past]]

:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_4|The Fairies' Secret Tool “Forklore”]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_6|The Service Record From the Two of You]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_5|The Fairies' Secret Tool 1]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_7|The Fairies' Secret Tool 2]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_8|The Fairies' Secret Tool 3]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_9|The Demand, Supply and a Something Else from the Three Villages]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_10|The Unpleasant Truth Coming Along with the Rediscovery of Citizens]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_11|The Not So Surprising Truth Behind the Development of this Village]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_12|Fruits, No, Sure?]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_13|The Role of Candies Under the Monarchy]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_14|The Most Appropriate Thing As a Travel's Souvenir]]
:*[[Heijou_Unten_Chapter_15|Afterword]]
|}
<div style="clear:both;"></div>

==Project Staff==

*Supervisor:
*Project Manager:

===Translators===
'''ACTIVE'''
[[User:変幻出没|変幻出没]]: Japanese to English (slow translator). ([[User talk:変幻出没|talk]])
[[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]]: Japanese to English (also a slow translator) ([[User_talk:Lcat4ever|talk]])
[[User:Wscp|Wscp]]: Japanese to English (reasonably fast translator) ([[User_talk:Wscp|talk]])
[[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]]): Japanese to English (started a draft of volume 3, please let me know if this overlaps anyone's work
'''INACTIVE'''

===Editors===

==Volume List==
:*人類は衰退しました 1 - May 24, 2007 ISBN 978-4-09-451001-0
:*人類は衰退しました 2 - December 18, 2007 ISBN 978-4-09-451044-7
:*人類は衰退しました 3 - April 18, 2008 ISBN 978-4-09-451061-4
:*人類は衰退しました 4 - December 18, 2009 ISBN 978-4-09-451104-8
:*人類は衰退しました 5 - January 19, 2010 ISBN 978-4-09-451183-3
:*人類は衰退しました 6 - February 18, 2011 ISBN 978-4-09-451255-7
:*人類は衰退しました 1 - November 18, 2011 ISBN 978-4-09-451308-0 (*)
:*人類は衰退しました 2 - November 18, 2011 ISBN 978-4-09-451309-7 (*)
:*人類は衰退しました 3 - January 18, 2012 ISBN 978-4-09-451320-2 (*)
:*人類は衰退しました 4 - January 18, 2012 ISBN 978-4-09-451321-9 (*)
:*人類は衰退しました 5 - March 16, 2012 ISBN 978-4-09-451329-5 (*)
:*人類は衰退しました 6 - March 16, 2012 ISBN 978-4-09-451330-1 (*)
:*人類は衰退しました 7 - July 18, 2012 ISBN 978-4-09-451353-0
:*人類は衰退しました 8 - February 19, 2013 ISBN 978-4-09-451393-6
:*人類は衰退しました 9 - June 18, 2014 ISBN 978-4-09-451494-0
:*人類は衰退しました平常運転 - December 18, 2014 ISBN 978-4-09-451525-1
:*人類は衰退しました未確認生物スペシャル - September 21, 2016 ISBN 978-4-09-451632-6

(*) Re-released with art from Sunaho Tobe

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Registration Page

2025-01-01T10:28:28Z

Sophie:

This is the registration page for the translation of ''Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita''. The purpose of this page is to prevent two translators from translating the same chapter at the same time. If you want to register yourself, feel free to add your name in front of a free chapter.

In order to have some standardization, the chapters status can be chosen from the following list: Untranslated, Translated, To be edited, edited, To be proofread, Finished.

List of chapters (Chapters' titles are not definitive and may be suspect to change, as much as possible the chapters' titles here should be in accordance with the titles on the main page):

== Volume 1 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Planet of the Fairies || Untranslated || [[User:変幻出没|変幻出没]] | [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| The Dawn of the Fairies || Untranslated || [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| April Monthly Report || Untranslated || [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || [[User:変幻出没|変幻出没]] ([[User talk:変幻出没|talk]]) | [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] ([[User_talk:Lcat4ever|talk]]) | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|}

== Volume 2 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| Humanity's Law of the Jungle || External Draft Completed || [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| The Fairies' Time Management || External Draft Completed || [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| May Monthly Report || External Draft Completed || [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| Afterword || External Draft Completed || [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|}

== Volume 3 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Homecoming || Writing Draft || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|-
| The City of Imperial Tea and Bonsai || Hoping to translate || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|-
| June Monthly Report || Hoping to translate || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|-
| Afterword || Hoping to translate || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|}

== Volume 4 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Factory || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Life as Castaways || Untranslated || None
|-
| July Monthly Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

== Volume 5 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tea Party || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Hour for Every Day || Untranslated || None
|-
| August Monthly Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 6==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies Fly Very High || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Subculture || Untranslated || None
|-
| Winter Service Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 7==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Small School || Untranslated || None
|-
| How Humans' Clean Things Up || Untranslated || None
|-
| Spring Service Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 8==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| When We Met in the Fairies' Dream || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 9==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Earth´ || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Heijou Unten==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Working Fairies' Business Venture || Translated || [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]]
|-
| The Working Fairies' Toy Food || Untranslated || None
|-
| A Message From the Past || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool “Forklore” || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Service Record From the Two of You || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool 1 || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool 2 || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool 3 || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Demand, Supply and a Something Else from the Three Villages || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Unpleasant Truth Coming Along with the Rediscovery of Citizens || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Not So Surprising Truth Behind the Development of this Village || Untranslated || None
|-
| Fruits, No, Sure? || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Role of Candies Under the Monarchy || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Most Appropriate Thing As a Travel's Souvenir || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || [[User:変幻出没|変幻出没]] ([[User talk:変幻出没|talk]]) | [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] ([[User_talk:Lcat4ever|talk]])
|}

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Registration Page

2025-01-01T10:25:57Z

Sophie: /* Volume 3 */

This is the registration page for the translation of ''Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita''. The purpose of this page is to prevent two translators from translating the same chapter at the same time. If you want to register yourself, feel free to add your name in front of a free chapter.

In order to have some standardization, the chapters status can be chosen from the following list: Untranslated, Translated, To be edited, edited, To be proofread, Finished.

List of chapters (Chapters' titles are not definitive and may be suspect to change, as much as possible the chapters' titles here should be in accordance with the titles on the main page):

== Volume 1 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Planet of the Fairies || Untranslated || [[User:変幻出没|変幻出没]] | [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| The Dawn of the Fairies || Untranslated || [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| April Monthly Report || Untranslated || [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || [[User:変幻出没|変幻出没]] ([[User talk:変幻出没|talk]]) | [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] ([[User_talk:Lcat4ever|talk]]) | [[UserːWscp|Wscp]]
|}

== Volume 2 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| Humanity's Law of the Jungle || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Time Management || Untranslated || None
|-
| May Monthly Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

== Volume 3 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Homecoming || Writing Draft || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|-
| The City of Imperial Tea and Bonsai || Hoping to translate || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|-
| June Monthly Report || Hoping to translate || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|-
| Afterword || Hoping to translate || [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]])
|}

== Volume 4 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Factory || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Life as Castaways || Untranslated || None
|-
| July Monthly Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

== Volume 5 ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tea Party || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Hour for Every Day || Untranslated || None
|-
| August Monthly Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 6==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies Fly Very High || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Subculture || Untranslated || None
|-
| Winter Service Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 7==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Small School || Untranslated || None
|-
| How Humans' Clean Things Up || Untranslated || None
|-
| Spring Service Report || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 8==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| When We Met in the Fairies' Dream || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Volume 9==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Fairies' Earth´ || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || None
|}

==Heijou Unten==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Chapter !! Chapter's status !! Translator
|-
| The Working Fairies' Business Venture || Translated || [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]]
|-
| The Working Fairies' Toy Food || Untranslated || None
|-
| A Message From the Past || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool “Forklore” || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Service Record From the Two of You || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool 1 || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool 2 || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Fairies' Secret Tool 3 || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Demand, Supply and a Something Else from the Three Villages || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Unpleasant Truth Coming Along with the Rediscovery of Citizens || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Not So Surprising Truth Behind the Development of this Village || Untranslated || None
|-
| Fruits, No, Sure? || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Role of Candies Under the Monarchy || Untranslated || None
|-
| The Most Appropriate Thing As a Travel's Souvenir || Untranslated || None
|-
| Afterword || Untranslated || [[User:変幻出没|変幻出没]] ([[User talk:変幻出没|talk]]) | [[User:Lcat4ever|Lcat4ever]] ([[User_talk:Lcat4ever|talk]])
|}

User talk:Wscp

2024-12-28T10:17:40Z

Sophie:

Hi! I just saw your comment on my talk page about translating past chapter 1 from the previous author for Jintai. I actually started translating a bit of that too, though I only got about 25 pages past that part, so I didn't get that far. If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to chat more about this so that maybe we can work out the translations together so that we won't overlap or anything. Feel free to contact me on my talk page. Thanks! :)

=== Helping with Jintai ===
Hi Wscp!

I'm interested in helping with the Jintai project.

I see in the talk page for Volume 2 that you wanted help with the illustrations. I'm not an expert but I learned some of the basics doing my translation of Twintails Volume 2 Chapter. Maybe I can help by putting the illustrations in and do formatting if you want to post the volume, or something like that.

Also, what are your plans for Volume 3? I'd be willing to help in any way I can, including doing some translation. [[User:Sophie|Sophie]] ([[User talk:Sophie|talk]]) 11:17, 28 December 2024 (CET)

== Rules ==

Hey there, I want to take a moment to remind you of our [[Baka-Tsuki:Rules|rules]], and the stance we have regarding "raws":
:Do not share URLs that may lead to the procurement of pirated copies of licensed materials.
Please be mindful of this in the future, and please reach out to us (Supervisors and Executive Council) on Discord if you have any questions. [[User:Leviticus|Leviticus]] ([[User talk:Leviticus|talk]]) 23:31, 24 November 2023 (CET)

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-26T13:01:15Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."

"Ahh!" Aika gasped.

She was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest.

Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air.

Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist.

By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had passed through. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy.

Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy.

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"

After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. He'd used the same attack in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ’Great Trials’, Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind, simply returning to the universe.
As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let grief weigh you down forever.
Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily. Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<center>◇</center>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we <i’>can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum said, her voice steeped with disappointment.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start.

A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started-

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of ordinary life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of ordinary life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”
[[File:Chapter 2 img2.png|thumb|“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!” ]]

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

I wouldn’t have any hesitation borrowing some of his power.

Mum had her head down, apparently lost in thought.

“In that case… could you maybe use that orb to make another Tailgear?” she said hopefully.

She was providing perspective that was far from what you’d expect from an ordinary person.

“Please don’t say you want to join us with your own Tailgear, mum!”

“Don’t worry, Soo-chan” she replied teasingly,

“Mum doesn’t have a thread of Twintail element in her.”

That may be the case, but there was another element inside of her growing day upon day at an alarming rate.

“And Souji, it’s true that in the past I longed to be a superhero, but now I’m the superhero’s mother, Mitsuka Miharu. Just being your mum is enough for me, I’m not greedy enough to ask for any more than what I have now.”

She always says moving stuff like this when I’m not ready for it.

Looking down at her outfit, though, I was soon pulled back to reality.

“You are right though, it would be reassuring to have another member”

A new Twintail.

As I was sitting letting my imagination run wild, Twoearle rushed towards me.

“No, Souji-sama! We don’t want to bring anyone else into this war!”

On top of this, TailBlue, who until now was in the corner fighting with her Tailgear and the Large Bust Elemera Orb, stumbled towards me, grabbing my collar.

“That’s right Souji! You don’t want to force another innocent girl to fight against those perverted monsters, do you?”

“I don’t… but if we think about everything that’s ahead of us, having an extra member would help an awful l—“

“NO!!!” Aika and Twoearle shouted in unison.

“Okay…” I said, shrinking back into my chair.

Judging by the pressure being brought to bear on me, there was no arguing with them on this.

I understand what they’re saying about exposing people to danger. I couldn’t help but feel, however, that the violent refusal in their eyes was for another reason entirely.

“But it may be of use having a spare Tailgear, just in case. Aika’s bracelet in particular has been in service for a long time,” Twoearle suggested.

“I’m happy to keep using this one, though.”

Aika patted her Elemeletion unit fondly. It was wet from saliva, assumedly she’d been biting it in her attempts to get it to work earlier.

“There’s actually some research I’ve been working on recently. It’s to do with hybridising Elemerian Orbs.”

“Hybrid… Orbs?”

Twoearle displayed a blueprint up on her console. It was too complicated for me to glean anything much from, but a line connected an Elemera Orb and the Tailbrace.

“While watching Tailred I had a thought- Souji-sama turns into a young girl when he activates his Tailgear. But it’s not like I put my young girl element in there or anything like that. Even now I’m struggling to understand what happened.

So I was thinking, what if we were able to turn this coincidence into an inevitability?”

“You’re talking about trying to intentionally combine elements with each other?” I asked.

Twoearle nodded.

“Take that Large Bust element we were unable to use, for example. What if we could take that and fuse it into a Tailgear.

That way we might be able to get it to affect our transformation, even without using Elemeletion.”

Aika reacted keenly. We all watched as, in seconds, the light returned to her eyes.

“So that means we can make a new TailBlue with more boobs?”

“Well I’m still in the research phase…”

As Aika sprung out of her chair, deactivated her Tailgear in mid air and landed in front of Twoearle and pressed her hands together in prayer.

She fixed her eyes intently on Twoearle-

“Please, Twoearle! When you finished that Tailgear could you give it to me, please?”

“Didn’t you just say you were happy with the one you’ve got now?!”

“If it’s a brand new one then it’s a different matter entirely. When I turn this one on it makes a scraping noise, it gets way to hot and then it goes and freezes me! I’m gonna need an upgrade soon.”

It sounds more like a dying computer. You don’t say that stuff when the previous owner’s present!

—Is what I was thinking, but for some reason, far from being angry, Twoearle was smiling warmly. Wait, this smile…

“So you want a new one, do you?♪”

I remember seeing this pattern before. Aika is one thing, but Twoearle really should’ve learned better by now.

“Hehe, okay! But first, you have to apologise for how rude you’ve been to me up until now. And then you have to revere me by calling me ‘Twoearle-sama’.”

“Twoearle-sama!! I’m sorry for everything!” Aika blurted out without a moment of hesitation.

She was bent down in a dogeza position, her head against the floor.

“This can’t be true!! Someone actually managed to get a demon like Aika to bow down to them!” I yelled, unable to control myself.

This has to be a lie.

Aika’s the sort of person who even if she really really should apologise to someone, she’d rather throw a punch instead and deal with the fallout later, if ever. I’ve never seen her lower her head to someone in all the years I’ve known her. But now a dogeza, of all things!

“Please stop it and stand back up, Aika-san! I know you’re just going to get back at me later!” Twoearle stammered.

Aika raised her head slowly, but instead of standing up, she looked Twoearle in the eyes and shocked us even more.

“Please Twoearle-sama, I’ll do anything!”

“You’re crying blood?!”

Tears of blood. Sorrowful wailing of the soul. Pleading with someone like Twoearle, who for some reason Aika saw as a sort of rival. Throwing her pride away and performing a dogeza like this.

“Boobs really mean this much to you?” I whispered, mostly to myself.

I’m sorry Aika, I’ll never tease you about your chest ever again.

“My only obvious flaw is having no boobs! I lack that key symbol of motherly instinct!”

“What do you mean ‘symbol’? I’ve never seen this ‘motherly instinct’ you speak of!” I snapped.

“Women always want a big chest, no matter how much they try to say otherwise!

Even if they’re denying it going ‘I’ve got enough going for me, I don’t need one!’, just grab them by the lapel and shake them around a bit and they’ll be like ‘I take it back’!”

“Forget boobs for a second, Aika. Have you ever tried resolving a conflict with someone while keeping your hands under restrained behind your back?” I retorted drily.

“Souji-sama, I know I’m someone who denies everything Aika says on principal, but I’m of the same mind as her on this one. There’s not a woman on earth who can break this steadfast rule. Life’s full of ups and downs and you can’t make omelettes without breaking eggs.”

“Ah, right. Got it.”

Girls sure have a lot to deal with.

“If it meant I got massive boobs I’d be willing to murder every god there is, one after another.”

“If humans went and rebelled against the gods for reasons like that then they’d abandon us in the blink of an eye!”

“…breasts… please!” Aika pleaded in agony.

As if she’d been lost in the desert for three days without food or water, Aika’s voice reduced to a half-delirious mumble.

Twoearle lowered herself onto one knee and placed a hand on Aika’s shoulder. Even she couldn’t bear watching anymore, at least for now.

“I hear your pleas, and I’ll do everything I can to fulfil your request.”

“Twoearle-sama!”

Aika was so moved she hugged Twoearle, her face wet with tears. Even so, she was careful to wrap her arms around her navel, avoiding the chest.

“It seems like I’ve gone soft. I never thought I’d resolve to do something this kind for an enemy, of all people,”

“Thank you! Thank you! I’ll never forget your kindness! I’ll make it worth it for you, no matter how long it takes!”

“Don’t worry about it, Aika-san. After all, isn’t this what friends are for?”

Enemies one minute, friends the next. These two sure lead an eventful social-life. No matter how much they fight though, I could tell how much they cared for each other.

The pair seemed to have gotten closer than ever. But then I saw something else.

Down at Aika, wrapped around her legs still sobbing weakly, the most malicious smirk I’d ever seen flashing across Twoearle’s face.

<center>◇</center>

From tomorrow afternoon, we’d be starting Golden Week break. Lively key-tapping echoed through the Twintail Club room.

Twoearle had what looked like blueprints for the Tailgear on her laptop. The wireframe was adorned with countless variables and equations, and the piled-up windows were being cycled through at dizzying speeds.

Watching Twoearle’s two hands freely manipulate science beyond this world’s comprehension, I remembered how extraordinary Twoearle is.

The first impression I had of Twoearle, long since destroyed by her constant fooling-around, had finally started to regain its form. That otherworldly air…

“How long do you think it’ll take to complete this new Tailbrace?”

“I should be able to finish it off by the end of Golden Week. I need to make sure I integrate these new functions into the existing design properly before I start production.”

“Sounds good. Don’t rush yourself though, we need you to stay healthy for us.”

“Thank you, Souji-sama. I’m planning to pass out defenceless from exhaustion today, so I’ll be in your care. At that point I’ll be so spent my clothes will be coming undone. I’ll make sure of it!”

“I just told you to look after yourself!”

Twoearle was able to built the underground hideout over the course of one night. For construction to take her this long, I can only imaging the degree of hypertechnology our Tailgears make use of.

Aika approached Twoearle hesitantly, holding a tray with a single teacup on it.

“Twoearle-sama, some tea for you.”

“Oh, thank you very much!”

“I feel awful for making you spend your precious holidays for my benefit, it’s the very least I can do!”

“No, you don’t have to worry about that! This is just part of our job protecting earth, after all!”

Twoearle took a tiny sip of the tea placed in front of her, and then returned it to its tray.

“It’d be tragic if this had been spiked with something. Aika-san, I’ll let you drink this instead.”

Usually if Twoearle had said something like this, Aika would’ve thrown the tea back in her face and told her to shut up and drink it. And then slam the metal tray in her face as if it were a cream pie.

“…Thank you,” Aika said falteringly, before returning to the desk in the corner where we keep the tea-set.

She’s been like this ever since Twoearle agreed to make the new Tailgear. Never losing her temper, just quietly obeying Twoearle.

“That reminds me, Souji-sama. There’s been tons of Twintails figures coming onto the market recently, but there’s something interesting about this set of kids meal toys I came across yesterday.”

Twoearle opened her web browser onto the page advertising the toys in question.

“Out of the eight figure variations, seven are of TailRed and only the final one is of Blue. The meals are sealed so you don’t know which one you’re getting.”

The models on the screen didn’t do the Twintails’ hair justice. Their hair lacked life.

When people get these figures, the first thing people will look at is the Twintails’ twintails. With budget products like this, if anything all the production resources should go into getting this single most important aspect right.

“Seven versus one, huh? Isn’t that weighted a bit heavily to one side?” I asked.

“You’re absolutely correct. With TailBlue looking like that people will just be disappointed when they find her. Maybe the sets with TailBlue in them could say what’s in them, as opposed to the usual random arrangement, just to ward off the endless stream of complaints.”

“No, that’s not what I…”

“I bet it’s cost reduction. Blue’s torso segment is just a rectangular prism, so it’d be much easier to make moulds for her.”

I looked across to Aika, who had the expression of a Buddha. Her face wearing a tranquil smile, hiding the range storming through her. Truly a dangerous state.

Maybe Twoearle found out she only had a month to live. That’s the only way to explain her juggling her life with her feet like it’s a soccer ball while standing by the edge of a cliff. This was enough to make any thrilling suspense movie seem garbage in comparison.

Aika noticed how much I was shaking, and gestured at me to chill out.

“What’re you doing freaking out like that. Putting up with this kind of thing is nothing to me. When I think back now, I did a few things to her myself.”

If we were to add up the accumulated damage Aika’s inflicted on Twoearle, it’d be enough to break three ten-tonne trucks into sawdust. I don’t know if I’d put that as ‘a few things’, but I’ll think about that later.

“This is a way for me to make amends for all of that stuff as well. And when it all feels too much I just think of the boobs I’ll be getting and I’m at peace again.” Aika said, looking as if she had a photograph of her smiling pasted over her face.

Let’s just say, god forbid… No, for sure with the tremendous technology Twoearle has showed us these last few months, she should be able to expand the chest of a single human.

But let’s imagine for a moment if Aika tries on this Tailgear she’s thrown away so much pride to get her hands on, and Twoearle’s hypothesis turns out to be wrong and Aika’s proportions stay the way they are.

If everything comes to a head like that…

Even though we’re still in the midst of spring, the sensation I’m feeling down my spine makes me long for my gloves and scarf again.

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[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 3|Go to Chapter 3]]

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-26T13:00:29Z

Sophie:

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-19T14:56:08Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ’Great Trials’, Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind, simply returning to the universe.
As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let grief weigh you down forever.
Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily. Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum said, her voice steeped with disappointment.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start. A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started-

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of ordinary life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of ordinary life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”
[[File:Chapter 2 img2.png|thumb|“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!” ]]

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

I wouldn’t have any hesitation borrowing some of his power.

Mum had her head down, apparently lost in thought.

“In that case… could you maybe use that orb to make another Tailgear?” she said hopefully.

She was providing perspective that was far from what you’d expect from an ordinary person.

“Please don’t say you want to join us with your own Tailgear, mum!”

“Don’t worry, Soo-chan” she replied teasingly,

“Mum doesn’t have a thread of Twintail element in her.”

That may be the case, but there was another element inside of her growing day upon day at an alarming rate.

“And Souji, it’s true that in the past I longed to be a superhero, but now I’m the superhero’s mother, Mitsuka Miharu. Just being your mum is enough for me, I’m not greedy enough to ask for any more than what I have now.”

She always says moving stuff like this when I’m not ready for it. Looking down at her outfit, though, I was soon pulled back to reality.

“You are right though, it would be reassuring to have another member”

A new Twintail.

As I was sitting letting my imagination run wild, Twoearle rushed towards me.

“No, Souji-sama! We don’t want to bring anyone else into this war!”

On top of this, TailBlue, who until now was in the corner fighting with her Tailgear and the Large Bust Elemera Orb, stumbled towards me, grabbing my collar.

“That’s right Souji! You don’t want to force another innocent girl to fight against those perverted monsters, do you?”

“I don’t… but if we think about everything that’s ahead of us, having an extra member would help an awful l—“

“NO!!!” Aika and Twoearle shouted in unison.

“Okay…” I said, shrinking back into my chair.

Judging by the pressure being brought to bear on me, there was no arguing with them on this.

I understand what they’re saying about exposing people to danger. I couldn’t help but feel, however, that the violent refusal in their eyes was for another reason entirely.

“But it may be of use having a spare Tailgear, just in case. Aika’s bracelet in particular has been in service for a long time,” Twoearle suggested.

“I’m happy to keep using this one, though.”

Aika patted her Elemeletion unit fondly. It was wet from saliva, assumedly she’d been biting it in her attempts to get it to work earlier.

“There’s actually some research I’ve been working on recently. It’s to do with hybridising Elemerian Orbs.”

“Hybrid… Orbs?”

Twoearle displayed a blueprint up on her console. It was too complicated for me to glean anything much from, but a line connected an Elemera Orb and the Tailbrace.

“While watching Tailred I had a thought- Souji-sama turns into a young girl when he activates his Tailgear. But it’s not like I put my young girl element in there or anything like that. Even now I’m struggling to understand what happened.

So I was thinking, what if we were able to turn this coincidence into an inevitability?”

“You’re talking about trying to intentionally combine elements with each other?” I asked.

Twoearle nodded.

“Take that Large Bust element we were unable to use, for example. What if we could take that and fuse it into a Tailgear.

That way we might be able to get it to affect our transformation, even without using Elemeletion.”

Aika reacted keenly. We all watched as, in seconds, the light returned to her eyes.

“So that means we can make a new TailBlue with more boobs?”

“Well I’m still in the research phase…”

As Aika sprung out of her chair, deactivated her Tailgear in mid air and landed in front of Twoearle and pressed her hands together in prayer.

She fixed her eyes intently on Twoearle-

“Please, Twoearle! When you finished that Tailgear could you give it to me, please?”

“Didn’t you just say you were happy with the one you’ve got now?!”

“If it’s a brand new one then it’s a different matter entirely. When I turn this one on it makes a scraping noise, it gets way to hot and then it goes and freezes me! I’m gonna need an upgrade soon.”

It sounds more like a dying computer. You don’t say that stuff when the previous owner’s present!

—Is what I was thinking, but for some reason, far from being angry, Twoearle was smiling warmly. Wait, this smile…

“So you want a new one, do you?♪”

I remember seeing this pattern before. Aika is one thing, but Twoearle really should’ve learned better by now.

“Hehe, okay! But first, you have to apologise for how rude you’ve been to me up until now. And then you have to revere me by calling me ‘Twoearle-sama’.”

“Twoearle-sama!! I’m sorry for everything!” Aika blurted out without a moment of hesitation.

She was bent down in a dogeza position, her head against the floor.

“This can’t be true!! Someone actually managed to get a demon like Aika to bow down to them!” I yelled, unable to control myself.

This has to be a lie.

Aika’s the sort of person who even if she really really should apologise to someone, she’d rather throw a punch instead and deal with the fallout later, if ever. I’ve never seen her lower her head to someone in all the years I’ve known her. But now a dogeza, of all things!

“Please stop it and stand back up, Aika-san! I know you’re just going to get back at me later!” Twoearle stammered.

Aika raised her head slowly, but instead of standing up, she looked Twoearle in the eyes and shocked us even more.

“Please Twoearle-sama, I’ll do anything!”

“You’re crying blood?!”

Tears of blood. Sorrowful wailing of the soul. Pleading with someone like Twoearle, who for some reason Aika saw as a sort of rival. Throwing her pride away and performing a dogeza like this.

“Boobs really mean this much to you?” I whispered, mostly to myself.

I’m sorry Aika, I’ll never tease you about your chest ever again.

“My only obvious flaw is having no boobs! I lack that key symbol of motherly instinct!”

“What do you mean ‘symbol’? I’ve never seen this ‘motherly instinct’ you speak of!” I snapped.

“Women always want a big cheast, no matter how much they try to say otherwise!

Even if they’re denying it going ‘I’ve got enough going for me, I don’t need one!’, just grab them by the lapel and shake them around a bit and they’ll be like ‘I take it back’!”

“Forget boobs for a second, Aika. Have you ever tried resolving a conflict with someone while keeping your hands under restrained behind your back?” I retorted drily.

“Souji-sama, I know I’m someone who denies everything Aika says on principal, but I’m of the same mind as her on this one. There’s not a woman on earth who can break this steadfast rule. Life’s full of ups and downs and you can’t make omelettes without breaking eggs.”

“Ah, right. Got it.”

Girls sure have a lot to deal with.

“If it meant I got massive boobs I’d be willing to murder every god there is, one after another.”

“If humans went and rebelled against the gods for reasons like that then they’d abandon us in the blink of an eye!”

“…breasts… please!” Aika pleaded in agony.

As if she’d been lost in the desert for three days without food or water, Aika’s voice reduced to a half-delirious mumble.

Twoearle lowered herself onto one knee and placed a hand on Aika’s shoulder. Even she couldn’t bear watching anymore, at least for now.

“I hear your pleas, and I’ll do everything I can to fulfil your request.”

“Twoearle-sama!”

Aika was so moved she hugged Twoearle, her face wet with tears. Even so, she was careful to wrap her arms around her navel, avoiding the chest.

“It seems like I’ve gone soft. I never thought I’d resolve to do something this kind for an enemy, of all people,”

“Thank you! Thank you! I’ll never forget your kindness! I’ll make it worth it for you, no matter how long it takes!”

“Don’t worry about it, Aika-san. After all, isn’t this what friends are for?”

Enemies one minute, friends the next. These two sure lead an eventful social-life. No matter how much they fight though, I could tell how much they cared for each other.

The pair seemed to have gotten closer than ever. But then I saw something else.

Down at Aika, wrapped around her legs still sobbing weakly, the most malicious smirk I’d ever seen flashing across Twoearle’s face.

<>

From tomorrow afternoon, we’d be starting Golden Week break. Lively key-tapping echoed through the Twintail Club room.

Twoearle had what looked like blueprints for the Tailgear on her laptop. The wireframe was adorned with countless variables and equations, and the piled-up windows were being cycled through at dizzying speeds.

Watching Twoearle’s two hands freely manipulate science beyond this world’s comprehension, I remembered how extraordinary Twoearle is.

The first impression I had of Twoearle, long since destroyed by her constant fooling-around, had finally started to regain its form. That otherworldly air…

“How long do you think it’ll take to complete this new Tailbrace?”

“I should be able to finish it off by the end of Golden Week. I need to make sure I integrate these new functions into the existing design properly before I start production.”

“Sounds good. Don’t rush yourself though, we need you to stay healthy for us.”

“Thank you, Souji-sama. I’m planning to pass out defenceless from exhaustion today, so I’ll be in your care. At that point I’ll be so spent my clothes will be coming undone. I’ll make sure of it!”

“I just told you to look after yourself!”

Twoearle was able to built the underground hideout over the course of one night. For construction to take her this long, I can only imaging the degree of hypertechnology our Tailgears make use of.

Aika approached Twoearle hesitantly, holding a tray with a single teacup on it.

“Twoearle-sama, some tea for you.”

“Oh, thank you very much!”

“I feel awful for making you spend your precious holidays for my benefit, it’s the very least I can do!”

“No, you don’t have to worry about that! This is just part of our job protecting earth, after all!”

Twoearle took a tiny sip of the tea placed in front of her, and then returned it to its tray.

“It’d be tragic if this had been spiked with something. Aika-san, I’ll let you drink this instead.”

Usually if Twoearle had said something like this, Aika would’ve thrown the tea back in her face and told her to shut up and drink it. And then slam the metal tray in her face as if it were a cream pie.

“…Thank you,” Aika said falteringly, before returning to the desk in the corner where we keep the tea-set.

She’s been like this ever since Twoearle agreed to make the new Tailgear. Never losing her temper, just quietly obeying Twoearle.

“That reminds me, Souji-sama. There’s been tons of Twintails figures coming onto the market recently, but there’s something interesting about this set of kids meal toys I came across yesterday.”

Twoearle opened her web browser onto the page advertising the toys in question.

“Out of the eight figure variations, seven are of TailRed and only the final one is of Blue. The meals are sealed so you don’t know which one you’re getting.”

The models on the screen didn’t do the Twintails’ hair justice. Their hair lacked life.

When people get these figures, the first thing people will look at is the Twintails’ twintails. With budget products like this, if anything all the production resources should go into getting this single most important aspect right.

“Seven versus one, huh? Isn’t that weighted a bit heavily to one side?” I asked.

“You’re absolutely correct. With TailBlue looking like that people will just be disappointed when they find her. Maybe the sets with TailBlue in them could say what’s in them, as opposed to the usual random arrangement, just to ward off the endless stream of complaints.”

“No, that’s not what I…”

“I bet it’s cost reduction. Blue’s torso segment is just a rectangular prism, so it’d be much easier to make moulds for her.”

I looked across to Aika, who had the expression of a Buddha. Her face wearing a tranquil smile, hiding the range storming through her. Truly a dangerous state.

Maybe Twoearle found out she only had a month to live. That’s the only way to explain her juggling her life with her feet like it’s a soccer ball while standing by the edge of a cliff. This was enough to make any thrilling suspense movie seem garbage in comparison.

Aika noticed how much I was shaking, and gestured at me to chill out.

“What’re you doing freaking out like that. Putting up with this kind of thing is nothing to me. When I think back now, I did a few things to her myself.”

If we were to add up the accumulated damage Aika’s inflicted on Twoearle, it’d be enough to break three ten-tonne trucks into sawdust. I don’t know if I’d put that as ‘a few things’, but I’ll think about that later.

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-18T13:54:28Z

Sophie: /* Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus */

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ’Great Trials’, Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind, simply returning to the universe.
As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let grief weigh you down forever.
Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily. Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum said, her voice steeped with disappointment.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start. A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started-

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of ordinary life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of ordinary life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”
[[File:Chapter 2 img2.png|thumb|“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!” ]]

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

I wouldn’t have any hesitation borrowing some of his power.

Mum had her head down, apparently lost in thought.

“In that case… could you maybe use that orb to make another Tailgear?” she said hopefully.

She was providing perspective that was far from what you’d expect from an ordinary person.

“Please don’t say you want to join us with your own Tailgear, mum!”

“Don’t worry, Soo-chan” she replied teasingly,

“Mum doesn’t have a thread of Twintail element in her.”

That may be the case, but there was another element inside of her growing day upon day at an alarming rate.

“And Souji, it’s true that in the past I longed to be a superhero, but now I’m the superhero’s mother, Mitsuka Miharu. Just being your mum is enough for me, I’m not greedy enough to ask for any more than what I have now.”

She always says moving stuff like this when I’m not ready for it. Looking down at her outfit, though, I was soon pulled back to reality.

“You are right though, it would be reassuring to have another member”

A new Twintail.

As I was sitting letting my imagination run wild, Twoearle rushed towards me.

“No, Souji-sama! We don’t want to bring anyone else into this war!”

On top of this, TailBlue, who until now was in the corner fighting with her Tailgear and the Large Bust Elemera Orb, stumbled towards me, grabbing my collar.

“That’s right Souji! You don’t want to force another innocent girl to fight against those perverted monsters, do you?”

“I don’t… but if we think about everything that’s ahead of us, having an extra member would help an awful l—“

“NO!!!” Aika and Twoearle shouted in unison.

“Okay…” I said, shrinking back into my chair.

Judging by the pressure being brought to bear on me, there was no arguing with them on this.

I understand what they’re saying about exposing people to danger. I couldn’t help but feel, however, that the violent refusal in their eyes was for another reason entirely.

“But it may be of use having a spare Tailgear, just in case. Aika’s bracelet in particular has been in service for a long time,” Twoearle suggested.

“I’m happy to keep using this one, though.”

Aika patted her Elemeletion unit fondly. It was wet from saliva, assumedly she’d been biting it in her attempts to get it to work earlier.

“There’s actually some research I’ve been working on recently. It’s to do with hybridising Elemerian Orbs.”

“Hybrid… Orbs?”

Twoearle displayed a blueprint up on her console. It was too complicated for me to glean anything much from, but a line connected an Elemera Orb and the Tailbrace.

“While watching Tailred I had a thought- Souji-sama turns into a young girl when he activates his Tailgear. But it’s not like I put my young girl element in there or anything like that. Even now I’m struggling to understand what happened.

So I was thinking, what if we were able to turn this coincidence into an inevitability?”

“You’re talking about trying to intentionally combine elements with each other?” I asked.

Twoearle nodded.

“Take that Large Bust element we were unable to use, for example. What if we could take that and fuse it into a Tailgear.

That way we might be able to get it to affect our transformation, even without using Elemeletion.”

Aika reacted keenly. We all watched as, in seconds, the light returned to her eyes.

“So that means we can make a new TailBlue with more boobs?”

“Well I’m still in the research phase…”

As Aika sprung out of her chair, deactivated her Tailgear in mid air and landed in front of Twoearle and pressed her hands together in prayer.

She fixed her eyes intently on Twoearle-

“Please, Twoearle! When you finished that Tailgear could you give it to me, please?”

“Didn’t you just say you were happy with the one you’ve got now?!”

“If it’s a brand new one then it’s a different matter entirely. When I turn this one on it makes a scraping noise, it gets way to hot and then it goes and freezes me! I’m gonna need an upgrade soon.”

It sounds more like a dying computer. You don’t say that stuff when the previous owner’s present!

—Is what I was thinking, but for some reason, far from being angry, Twoearle was smiling warmly. Wait, this smile…

“So you want a new one, do you?♪”

I remember seeing this pattern before. Aika is one thing, but Twoearle really should’ve learned better by now.

“Hehe, okay! But first, you have to apologise for how rude you’ve been to me up until now. And then you have to revere me by calling me ‘Twoearle-sama’.”

“Twoearle-sama!! I’m sorry for everything!” Aika blurted out without a moment of hesitation.

She was bent down in a dogeza position, her head against the floor.

“This can’t be true!! Someone actually managed to get a demon like Aika to bow down to them!” I yelled, unable to control myself.

This has to be a lie.

Aika’s the sort of person who even if she really really should apologise to someone, she’d rather throw a punch instead and deal with the fallout later, if ever. I’ve never seen her lower her head to someone in all the years I’ve known her. But now a dogeza, of all things!

“Please stop it and stand back up, Aika-san! I know you’re just going to get back at me later!” Twoearle stammered.

Aika raised her head slowly, but instead of standing up, she looked Twoearle in the eyes and shocked us even more.

“Please Twoearle-sama, I’ll do anything!”

“You’re crying blood?!”

Tears of blood. Sorrowful wailing of the soul. Pleading with someone like Twoearle, who for some reason Aika saw as a sort of rival. Throwing her pride away and performing a dogeza like this.

“Boobs really mean this much to you?” I whispered, mostly to myself.

I’m sorry Aika, I’ll never tease you about your chest ever again.

“My only obvious flaw is having no boobs! I lack that key symbol of motherly instinct!”

“What do you mean ‘symbol’? I’ve never seen this ‘motherly instinct’ you speak of!” I snapped.

“Women always want a big cheast, no matter how much they try to say otherwise!

Even if they’re denying it going ‘I’ve got enough going for me, I don’t need one!’, just grab them by the lapel and shake them around a bit and they’ll be like ‘I take it back’!”

“Forget boobs for a second, Aika. Have you ever tried resolving a conflict with someone while keeping your hands under restrained behind your back?” I retorted drily.

“Souji-sama, I know I’m someone who denies everything Aika says on principal, but I’m of the same mind as her on this one. There’s not a woman on earth who can break this steadfast rule. Life’s full of ups and downs and you can’t make omelettes without breaking eggs.”

“Ah, right. Got it.”

Girls sure have a lot to deal with.

“If it meant I got massive boobs I’d be willing to murder every god there is, one after another.”

“If humans went and rebelled against the gods for reasons like that then they’d abandon us in the blink of an eye!”

“…breasts… please!” Aika pleaded in agony.

As if she’d been lost in the desert for three days without food or water, Aika’s voice reduced to a half-delirious mumble.

Twoearle lowered herself onto one knee and placed a hand on Aika’s shoulder. Even she couldn’t bear watching anymore, at least for now.

“I hear your pleas, and I’ll do everything I can to fulfil your request.”

“Twoearle-sama!”

Aika was so moved she hugged Twoearle, her face wet with tears. Even so, she was careful to wrap her arms around her navel, avoiding the chest.

“It seems like I’ve gone soft. I never thought I’d resolve to do something this kind for an enemy, of all people,”

“Thank you! Thank you! I’ll never forget your kindness! I’ll make it worth it for you, no matter how long it takes!”

“Don’t worry about it, Aika-san. After all, isn’t this what friends are for?”

Enemies one minute, friends the next. These two sure lead an eventful social-life. No matter how much they fight though, I could tell how much they cared for each other.

The pair seemed to have gotten closer than ever. But then I saw something else.

Down at Aika, wrapped around her legs still sobbing weakly, the most malicious smirk I’d ever seen flashing across Twoearle’s face.

<>

From tomorrow afternoon, we’d be starting Golden Week break. Lively key-tapping echoed through the Twintail Club room.

Twoearle had what looked like blueprints for the Tailgear on her laptop. The wireframe was adorned with countless variables and equations, and the piled-up windows were being cycled through at dizzying speeds.

Watching Twoearle’s two hands freely manipulate science beyond this world’s comprehension, I remembered how extraordinary Twoearle is.

The first impression I had of Twoearle, long since destroyed by her constant fooling-around, had finally started to regain its form. That otherworldly air…

“How long do you think it’ll take to complete this new Tailbrace?”

“I should be able to finish it off by the end of Golden Week. I need to make sure I integrate these new functions into the existing design properly before I start production.”

“Sounds good. Don’t rush yourself though, we need you to stay healthy for us.”

“Thank you, Souji-sama. I’m planning to pass out defenceless from exhaustion today, so I’ll be in your care. At that point I’ll be so spent my clothes will be coming undone. I’ll make sure of it!”

“I just told you to look after yourself!”

Twoearle was able to built the underground hideout over the course of one night. For construction to take her this long, I can only imaging the degree of hypertechnology our Tailgears make use of.

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-17T14:53:02Z

Sophie: /* Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus */

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ’Great Trials’, Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind, simply returning to the universe.
As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let grief weigh you down forever.
Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily. Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we <i’>can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum said, her voice steeped with disappointment.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start. A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started-

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of ordinary life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of ordinary life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

I wouldn’t have any hesitation borrowing some of his power.

Mum had her head down, apparently lost in thought.

“In that case… could you maybe use that orb to make another Tailgear?” she said hopefully.

She was providing perspective that was far from what you’d expect from an ordinary person.

“Please don’t say you want to join us with your own Tailgear, mum!”

“Don’t worry, Soo-chan” she replied teasingly,

“Mum doesn’t have a thread of Twintail element in her.”

That may be the case, but there was another element inside of her growing day upon day at an alarming rate.

“And Souji, it’s true that in the past I longed to be a superhero, but now I’m the superhero’s mother, Mitsuka Miharu. Just being your mum is enough for me, I’m not greedy enough to ask for any more than what I have now.”

She always says moving stuff like this when I’m not ready for it. Looking down at her outfit, though, I was soon pulled back to reality.

“You are right though, it would be reassuring to have another member”

A new Twintail.

As I was sitting letting my imagination run wild, Twoearle rushed towards me.

“No, Souji-sama! We don’t want to bring anyone else into this war!”

On top of this, TailBlue, who until now was in the corner fighting with her Tailgear and the Large Bust Elemera Orb, stumbled towards me, grabbing my collar.

“That’s right Souji! You don’t want to force another innocent girl to fight against those perverted monsters, do you?”

“I don’t… but if we think about everything that’s ahead of us, having an extra member would help an awful l—“

“NO!!!” Aika and Twoearle shouted in unison.

“Okay…” I said, shrinking back into my chair.

Judging by the pressure being brought to bear on me, there was no arguing with them on this.

I understand what they’re saying about exposing people to danger. I couldn’t help but feel, however, that the violent refusal in their eyes was for another reason entirely.

“But it may be of use having a spare Tailgear, just in case. Aika’s bracelet in particular has been in service for a long time,” Twoearle suggested.

“I’m happy to keep using this one, though.”

Aika patted her Elemeletion unit fondly. It was wet from saliva, assumedly she’d been biting it in her attempts to get it to work earlier.

“There’s actually some research I’ve been working on recently. It’s to do with hybridising Elemerian Orbs.”

“Hybrid… Orbs?”

Twoearle displayed a blueprint up on her console. It was too complicated for me to glean anything much from, but a line connected an Elemera Orb and the Tailbrace.

“While watching Tailred I had a thought- Souji-sama turns into a young girl when he activates his Tailgear. But it’s not like I put my young girl element in there or anything like that. Even now I’m struggling to understand what happened.

So I was thinking, what if we were able to turn this coincidence into an inevitability?”

“You’re talking about trying to intentionally combine elements with each other?” I asked.

Twoearle nodded.

“Take that Large Bust element we were unable to use, for example. What if we could take that and fuse it into a Tailgear.

That way we might be able to get it to affect our transformation, even without using Elemeletion.”

Aika reacted keenly. We all watched as, in seconds, the light returned to her eyes.

“So that means we can make a new TailBlue with more boobs?”

“Well I’m still in the research phase…”

As Aika sprung out of her chair, deactivated her Tailgear in mid air and landed in front of Twoearle and pressed her hands together in prayer.

She fixed her eyes intently on Twoearle-

“Please, Twoearle! When you finished that Tailgear could you give it to me, please?”

“Didn’t you just say you were happy with the one you’ve got now?!”

“If it’s a brand new one then it’s a different matter entirely. When I turn this one on it makes a scraping noise, it gets way to hot and then it goes and freezes me! I’m gonna need an upgrade soon.”

It sounds more like a dying computer. You don’t say that stuff when the previous owner’s present!

—Is what I was thinking, but for some reason, far from being angry, Twoearle was smiling warmly. Wait, this smile…

“So you want a new one, do you?♪”

I remember seeing this pattern before. Aika is one thing, but Twoearle really should’ve learned better by now.

“Hehe, okay! But first, you have to apologise for how rude you’ve been to me up until now. And then you have to revere me by calling me ‘Twoearle-sama’.”

“Twoearle-sama!! I’m sorry for everything!” Aika blurted out without a moment of hesitation.

She was bent down in a dogeza position, her head against the floor.

“This can’t be true!! Someone actually managed to get a demon like Aika to bow down to them!” I yelled, unable to control myself.

This has to be a lie.

Aika’s the sort of person who even if she really really should apologise to someone, she’d rather throw a punch instead and deal with the fallout later, if ever. I’ve never seen her lower her head to someone in all the years I’ve known her. But now a dogeza, of all things!

“Please stop it and stand back up, Aika-san! I know you’re just going to get back at me later!” Twoearle stammered.

Aika raised her head slowly, but instead of standing up, she looked Twoearle in the eyes and shocked us even more.

“Please Twoearle-sama, I’ll do anything!”

“You’re crying blood?!”

Tears of blood. Sorrowful wailing of the soul. Pleading with someone like Twoearle, who for some reason Aika saw as a sort of rival. Throwing her pride away and performing a dogeza like this.

“Boobs really mean this much to you?” I whispered, mostly to myself.

I’m sorry Aika, I’ll never tease you about your chest ever again.

“My only obvious flaw is having no boobs! I lack that key symbol of motherly instinct!”

“What do you mean ‘symbol’? I’ve never seen this ‘motherly instinct’ you speak of!” I snapped.

“Women always want a big cheast, no matter how much they try to say otherwise!

Even if they’re denying it going ‘I’ve got enough going for me, I don’t need one!’, just grab them by the lapel and shake them around a bit and they’ll be like ‘I take it back’!”

“Forget boobs for a second, Aika. Have you ever tried resolving a conflict with someone while keeping your hands under restrained behind your back?”

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-16T12:23:38Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ’Great Trials’, Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind, simply returning to the universe.
As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let grief weigh you down forever.
Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily. Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we <i’>can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum said, her voice steeped with disappointment.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start. A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started-

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of ordinary life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of ordinary life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

I wouldn’t have any hesitation borrowing some of his power.

Mum had her head down, apparently lost in thought.

“In that case… could you maybe use that orb to make another Tailgear?” she said hopefully.

She was providing perspective that was far from what you’d expect from an ordinary person.

“Please don’t say you want to join us with your own Tailgear, mum!”

“Don’t worry, Soo-chan” she replied teasingly,

“Mum doesn’t have a thread of Twintail element in her.”

That may be the case, but there was another element inside of her growing day upon day at an alarming rate.

“And Souji, it’s true that in the past I longed to be a superhero, but now I’m the superhero’s mother, Mitsuka Miharu. Just being your mum is enough for me, I’m not greedy enough to ask for any more than what I have now.”

She always says moving stuff like this when I’m not ready for it. Looking down at her outfit, though, I was soon pulled back to reality.

“You are right though, it would be reassuring to have another member”

A new Twintail.

As I was sitting letting my imagination run wild, Twoearle rushed towards me.

“No, Souji-sama! We don’t want to bring anyone else into this war!”

On top of this, TailBlue, who until now was in the corner fighting with her Tailgear and the Large Bust Elemera Orb, stumbled towards me, grabbing my collar.

“That’s right Souji! You don’t want to force another innocent girl to fight against those perverted monsters, do you?”

“I don’t… but if we think about everything that’s ahead of us, having an extra member would help an awful l—“

“NO!!!” Aika and Twoearle shouted in unison.

“Okay…” I said, shrinking back into my chair.

Judging by the pressure being brought to bear on me, there was no arguing with them on this.

I understand what they’re saying about exposing people to danger. I couldn’t help but feel, however, that the violent refusal in their eyes was for another reason entirely.

“But it may be of use having a spare Tailgear, just in case. Aika’s bracelet in particular has been in service for a long time,” Twoearle suggested.

“I’m happy to keep using this one, though.”

Aika patted her Elemeletion unit fondly. It was wet from saliva, assumedly she’d been biting it in her attempts to get it to work earlier.

“There’s actually some research I’ve been working on recently. It’s to do with hybridising Elemerian Orbs.”

“Hybrid… Orbs?”

Twoearle displayed a blueprint up on her console. It was too complicated for me to glean anything much from, but a line connected an Elemera Orb and the Tailbrace.

“While watching Tailred I had a thought- Souji-sama turns into a young girl when he activates his Tailgear. But it’s not like I put my young girl element in there or anything like that. Even now I’m struggling to understand what happened.

So I was thinking, what if we were able to turn this coincidence into an inevitability?”

“You’re talking about trying to intentionally combine elements with each other?” I asked.

Twoearle nodded.

“Take that Large Bust element we were unable to use, for example. What if we could take that and fuse it into a Tailgear.

That way we might be able to get it to affect our transformation, even without using Elemeletion.”

Aika reacted keenly. We all watched as, in seconds, the light returned to her eyes.

“So that means we can make a new TailBlue with more boobs?”

“Well I’m still in the research phase…”

As Aika sprung out of her chair, deactivated her Tailgear in mid air and landed in front of Twoearle and pressed her hands together in prayer.

She fixed her eyes intently on Twoearle-

“Please, Twoearle! When you finished that Tailgear could you give it to me, please?”

“Didn’t you just say you were happy with the one you’ve got now?!”

“If it’s a brand new one then it’s a different matter entirely. When I turn this one on it makes a scraping noise, it gets way to hot and then it goes and freezes me! I’m gonna need an upgrade soon.”

It sounds more like a dying computer. You don’t say that stuff when the previous owner’s present!

—Is what I was thinking, but for some reason, far from being angry, Twoearle was smiling warmly. Wait, this smile…

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-14T15:57:11Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ‘Great Trials’, ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind. Simply returning to the universe.

As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let anguish bring you down.

Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily.

Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<center>◇</center>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum sighed.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start. A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started.

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of everyday life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of everyday life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?
[[File:Chapter 2 img2.png|thumb|“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!” ]]

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

File:Chapter 2 img2.png

2024-12-14T15:56:25Z

Sophie:

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-14T15:33:15Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ‘Great Trials’, ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind. Simply returning to the universe.

As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let anguish bring you down.

Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily.

Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<center>◇</center>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum sighed.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start. A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started.

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of everyday life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

“What do you mean, ‘a symbol of everyday life’? She’s clearly in deep with this ‘evil organisation’ nonsense!” I said, sighing deeply.

“This is all far too dangerous to for you to be involved in, mum.”

It was an pretext for sure, but it’s true that I’ve been worried about mum ending up in the line of fire.

“I’m already involved, Souji. I have been ever since I went through the agony of giving birth to you. I’m a hero on duty protecting Earth.” mum said, smiling innocently.

She was wearing her handmade secret-society commander costume.

“Tell me why, then, this ‘protector of earth’ is giving me stomach cramps that feel like I’m gonna give birth to a watermelon out my nose!”

My stomach hurts… my mum who hurt her stomach giving birth to be is giving me a stomach ache…

A 36-year-old mother parading around in full cosplay is enough to drive any teenaged boy to delinquency!

“It’s too good an opportunity for me to waste though! If our enemy is really that strong, I’m sure I could be of some use. After all, your very first big fight was against me- or my body, at least.

That most recent Grand Blazer was so moving I cried! ‘Sou-chan is really growing up’, I said.”

“Don’t watch your son’s life-and-death battle like it’s a home video of a kindergarten sports day!”

While mum sat proudly, I was in a foetal position on the floor moaning in embarrassment.

She’d even gone and memorised the name of my technique… Just how far is she planning to go with this?

That’s right, that duel to the death with Drag Guildy and his overwhelming Elemera. The orb we recovered from him was without a doubt Twintail element.

Someone with his degree of Twintail element couldn’t possibly produce an orb of low purity.

However, me and Aika haven’t been able to try it out. Twoearle ruled its use out with her explanation earlier, but it still seemed like a huge waste.

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-13T11:44:31Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ‘Great Trials’, ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind. Simply returning to the universe.

As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let anguish bring you down.

Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily.

Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<center>◇</center>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

“Up till now, we’ve eliminated around a dozen Elemerians, but only a few of them had Elemeria Orbs we can actually make use of.”

Doll. Bloomer. Ribbon. Rabbit. And then of course Tiger Guildy’s School Swim element. As of now, we can only properly activate these elements.

“Wait a sec, Twoearle-chan. That Twintail Elemeria Orb we got from taking out Drag Guildy… can’t we use that to like, power up a Tailgear?”

“If we use a Twintail Orb in a Tailgear, there’s a risk of it going into meltdown. I’ve put a safety mechanism in place which prevents their use. Thanks for the question, Okaa-sama”

“I thought for sure we could fuse the two Twintail elements together or something, but it sounds like things just aren’t that simple,” mum sighed.

“Even if we could do that, just think what would happen… let’s say I end up with four braids instead of two, I wouldn’t even be able to call myself a Twintail anymore!

…Why the hell are you just casually sitting in on our meeting, mum!!”

Having snuck in at some point, Mum was acting as if she’d be present from the start. A jolt of pain shot through my head, as if I’d been struck by an enemy sniper.

Mum had taken to coming down into our hideout on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry, Souji-sama!” Twoearle started.

“With only combatants down here, we run the risk of getting tunnel-vision. By introducing a symbol of everyday life like your mum in our meetings, we could stumble upon ideas we never would otherwise.”

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-13T11:08:03Z

Sophie:

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]
==Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus==

Aika often visits Souji’s room before going to school each day.

Growing up under the regime of her Martial Artist grandfather, Aika was never allowed to sleep in as a child.

Souji, however, as a fellow student of Aika’s grandfather, was awful at getting up in the morning.

He was known to sleep through fairly loud attempts to wake him up.

As such, it was Aika’s duty as his childhood friend to make sure he got to school on time.

After standing in front of her full-length mirror and carefully tying her twintails with blue ribbons, Aika nodded.

She set about on her ‘morning call’ the same as always, jumping the narrow gap between her and Souji’s bedroom windows.

If he didn’t wake up it’d be a ‘morning knuckle’ waiting for him instead, although recently the ‘call’ itself has sufficed.

“Huh?”
Souji’s bed was empty, Aika felt the blood drain from her face.
“Don’t tell me… Twoearle?”

Aika quickly deemed Twoearle the culprit.

Intently going after Souji’s virginity, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Repelling her advances in itself isn’t too bad, but her recovery ability and persistence were tremendous.

Recently every night had turned into a prolonged struggle on multiple fronts. They often went by with Souji being none the wiser.

Since Twoearle would aim for when Aika was asleep and try to get in bed with Souji, Aika had started sleeping shallowly so she could guard against these attacks.

Sleeping like this while still maintaining her habit of getting up early took a tremendous amount of willpower.

It looked like this morning Twoearle might’ve gotten a head start though.

“Oh god, don’t tell me she’s taken him down to the base”

After descending the stairs in a fluster, Aika found Souji in the bathroom.

Without noticing a slightly relieved Aika, Souji continued to stroke his Twintails as if he were in a shampoo commercial.

“…twintails?”
this was a scene Aika couldn’t let continue.

Although Souji was in the bathroom, he had the appearance of the young girl the world worshipped as an idol, TailRed.

Aika stayed still a few moments, processing what was in front of her.

Was Souji planning to take of his clothes and have a shower while being transformed into TailRed?

Wash every corner of his body and study the differences between male and female anatomy to get a head-start on health classes?

Wearing the expression of a detective who'd just secured photographic evidence of a cheating spouse, Aika's face glowed a hot red and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

However, the scene never progressed how Aika was dreading.

Souji just continued to smile dumbly at his twintails' reflection in the mirror.

Aika drew her hand in front of her chest. Not because of the intense satisfaction she could see in Souji's smile, but so she could transform into TailBlue.

"Hmm, everything's looking okay!"

"Everything's not okay! You need to get your head checked!"

Hoping to render capital punishment on the twintails bewitching Souji, Aika charged in swinging her arm like a hammer.

However, they deftly flicked out of the path of her attack. It was almost as if they had eyes of their own.

Even flicking them around, Souji moved in such a way that there was no risk of them getting tangled up, either.

"Stop, Aika. Violence against twintails isn't okay!"

"...what!?"

Aika, who wasn't expecting Souji to dodge her attack, stumbled forward

"Did you know I was there the whole time!?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about Aika. My Twintails obviously told my a threat was incoming"

TailRed spouted some up-in-space nonsense as if it were common-sense. Souji's twintail-sickness was evolving even faster than Aika thought.

"My face and body are one thing, but if you come at my twintails I'll defend them at all cost"

"Usually that'd be the other way around..."

Aika reversed her transformation and placed her hand on her forehead.

"You weren't in your room when I woke you up so I was really worried and... you pervert! I can't believe you! Dressing like a girl on your own accord and grinning at the sight of your twintails in the mirror...

It's already too late for you, isn't it!"

"This isn't 'dressing like a girl'. Also, I wasn't grinning at my twintails, I was using them to cultivate my willpower!

On days I wake up early I thought looking at my twintails like this wasn't a bad idea. For me and you, Aika, twintails are our source of strength,"

He wasn't wrong, but to Aika their source of power wasn't necessarily their twintails by themselves.

They say the early bird captures the worm, but Aika wasn't feeling the least bit satisfied with this morning's early start.

"How do I know you weren't planning to try taking off your TailGear after transforming and get in the bath? I can't put it past you, Souji!"

"Uh, no. If I was going to take a bath I'd turn back to a guy first,"

As Souji calmly defended himself against Aika's ridiculous allegations, Aika widened her eyes in shock and felt her body stiffen.

"Are we running low on time? Sorry Aika, could you wait for me in the living room? I'll be ready in a minute"

"Oh god..."

As Souji undid his transformation and left the bathroom, Aika saw a glimpse of Souji's longing expressing as he held one of his twintails one last time for the morning.

"He he he..."
"Ahh!"

Aika was shocked to see Twoearle rush into the bathroom as soon as Souji vacated it. How long had she been watching them?

"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji-sama's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"

"Who're you calling desperate!"

Aika struggled to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Souji used to often absentmindedly twirl the ends of Aika's twintails, but he'd been doing it less recently.

"No Aika, you have to admit it. Your body's just aching for Souji-sama's fingers!"

"Stop making everything sound lewd, you pervert!"

[[file:chapter 2 img1.png|thumb |''"Why don't I guess what's on your mind? Souji's no longer touching your hair as often as he used to, and you're starting to get desperate, aren't you?"'']]

"Pervergarhh!"

Twoearle was able to start her day strong, with a morning knuckle and a brisk near-death experience.

"I can't believe this, even taking your bashfulness into account, this horrible treatment! I'm just telling you the truth, you know?"

"What do you mean 'bashful'??"

"You think people can be in the same room as you and not notice? When Souji-sama fondles your hair you look like you're in heat!"

"No, that's wrong. I just get ticklish sometimes..."

Aika's voice was uncharacteristically soft, which only served to spur Twoearle on.

"Souji-sama is already able to achieve his daily intake of twintails by himself, I guess you could call it a form of masturb-"

"You're responsible for this, you turned Souji into a woman! Don't twist this to being about me!"

Aika butted in, managing to cut off Twoearle's sentence just in time.

"That's why I'm being responsible and trying to make Souji-sama a man. Night after night after night after night Aika-san keeps interrupting us! Admiral Miharu has started to lose faith in me!"

"I've been in sleep deprivation ever since you arrived here!"

Shadows were indeed starting to appear under Aika's eyes.

"Aika-san, listen to me for a minute. Souji-sama is at a very sensitive age for a boy. At this rate we'll start to see impacts on his development"

"He's already looking pretty impacted to me"

"Now, I do agree with you there. Putting aside turning into TailRed and everything, Souji has far too little interest in the female body!"

Aika visibly shivered.

"Now say any healthy teenage boy suddenly found himself in a girls body, what would he do?"

"Don't go asking me!"

"Don't kid yourself, Aika-san, you know the answer"

"Ughh.."

Aika, aware she knew less about these things than she let on, didn't argue back.

"It's his body. Anything he did would be forgiven! He wouldn't cause anyone any grief! He could let out his libido without his conscience troubling him!"

Twoearle's eyes were starting to appear bloodshot.

"First you'd look, then you'd touch, then you'd stroke... You'd adventure a bit and see how a bra looked in the mirror. You'd take it off again, maybe you'd just take everything offffffffffffffffffgaaah!"

Aika grabbed Twoearle's hands, whose fingers were wriggling seductively to accompany her onslaught. She then proceed to fold all ten fingers violently upward like origami paper.

"Even being a teenaged boy, there's no way in hell he's get turned on by an undeveloped body like that"

"Exactly!"

Twoearle surged towards Aika, seemingly untroubled by the state of her fingers.

"Even though he's attained a female body, he's cursed with one he can't fool around with. Now where does he direct that pent-up curiosity? And that's where I come in"

Twoearle proudly slapped her hand against her chest, returning Aika's intense glare with a smirk.

"It's completely fine for him to get curious as a result of his transformation into TailRed! To want a more sploogy female body to see, to touch!"

"Wait..."

Twoearle again pushed towards Aika, fondling her own chest. Her eyes had lost their focus and were glazing over, and her hair had turned into a bird's nest.

"And then he reaches the one and only answer. 'Oh that's right, Twoearle has some boobs doesn't she'! And at that point we're supposed to enter the two-hour *science of the female body* special, but why have I been waiting a whole month to have Souji-sama's test tube inside m..."

"Huh? I think I might've fainted, I can't remember anything... Owch!"

Twoearle shakily stood up, a raised lump bulging on the side of her forehead.

"You've been missing out on sleep, haven't you? We just found you taking a nap on the floor,"

"Oh, right. It feels like I got karate-chopped so hard my cranial bones separated. I guess my sleep-deprivation gave me a migraine..."

Twoearle was lying on the floor in the bathroom nestled in flowers, silent, her eyes closed.

It must have just been the impression the scene had left, but it really seemed like a bed of flowers had bloomed in the bathroom.

With dignified beauty even as they scatter; although she'd been battered to a pulp by a barbarian who couldn't be bothered debating her, she still hadn't lost her dignity and grace.

The silver-haired Japanese maiden, Twoearle, unwavering in the face of mortal peril. She had truly manifested that symbol of Japanese beauty, Yamato Nadeshiko.

<center>◇</center>

"Today I finally get to transfer into school with you guys! Lets get some good energy going, Woo!"

"All I'm feeling is anguish"

Twoearle and Aika's moods were in stark contrast.

"Twoearle, what's with the neck brace and all the casts you've got on?"

"Oh don't mind me at all, they'll be off in five minutes anyway"

How much of a zealous realist would you have to be to hear something like that without batting an eyelid?

The three had already walked to school together several times, so by now we were used to Twoearle wearing a lab coat over our schools uniform. Nevertheless, Twoearle was ecstatic at the thought of finally making her debut at Yougetsu High School.

Sandwiching a weekend in after her first day would reduce the impact of her arrival on campus, so her first day had to be on a Monday.

"Twoearle, I'm begging you, please don't come out with anything that's not part of the background we agreed on for you. You know I couldn't Ad-Lib if my life depended on it"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll behave! hehehefufufu..."

Twoearle's smile was a little too fishy to believe, but we had no choice but to trust her.

I went over Twoearle's background again in my head; She was a relative from overseas that was staying at my place temporarily. I wasn't sure we should reveal our living arrangement, but Twoearle emphasised that this fact was of utmost importance to her.

In any case, it was important to agree on something so that it wouldn't come back to bite us later. The possibility that Twoearle would cause some kind of trouble was of course at the back of our minds, but at Yougetsu people seemed to be able to cope with that stuff pretty well, so unless she does something particularly catastrophic we should be fine.

"I'm more worried about this, honestly..."

The bracelet on my right arm gleamed in the morning sun as I held it up in front of me.

"You didn't find any issues with the Imagine Chaff, did you Twoearle?"

"Sadly, no. This is just based on the simulation I ran taking into account Erina-san's off the chart twintails attribute, but it didn't result in any interference with the Imagine Chaff at all."

Then why on earth would Erina be able to see my bracelet? Thinking of the properties of Imagine Chaff, there was only one other possibility that came to mind...

Just like when I could see Aika the first time she transformed into TailBlue.

"There's no way..."

I shook my head. I'll worry about that another time. Our first priority is making sure Twoearle's first day in class goes by without incident.

By the way, probably via some kind of underhanded tactics, Twoearle had been placed in the same class as me and Aika.

<center>◇</center>

"Today we have a new student joining our class..."

Our class teacher's wary voice ebbed over us in morning homeroom, and my body stiffened as the classroom door started to open. Why do I have to be this nervous? My throat's so dry it feels like sandpaper!

I looked across the room at Aika and made eye contact.

(Listen Aika, no matter what you do, no fighting. Violence in front of everyone in the class is out of the question.)

Aika received my message and nodded vigorously.

(Got it, Souji! As soon as Twoearle starts to act up I'll stop her as fast as I can, and I'll use force if I have to!)

One of the perks of having a friend as close as Aika is this almost supernatural degree of information we can exchange just by making eye-contact. Looks like Aika got the message.

Twoearle entered the classroom, her silver hair gently fluttered as she walked, shining as it caught the light. Astonished gasps could be heard from male and female classmates.

It'd be easy to forget Twoearle's otherworldly beauty if we didn't occasionally come across scenes like this. Twoearle's pale skin matched the colour of the chalk she used to spell her name on the blackboard: Mitsuka Twoearle.

Twoearle finished writing, stood next to her name and smiled.

"Mitsuka!?"

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to me. A tide of hushed voices filled the classroom. I would've panicked if I hadn't been the center of scenes far more distressing than this many times before as TailRed.

"Good.... this ith... just what I wanthed... to shee"

What's wrong, Twoearle! There's already drool leaking from the corner of your mouth! Go back to that face from thirty seconds ago!

"Twoearle-san is~~ Mitsuka-kun's relative~~ she's moved here from overseas and now~~ she lives with Mitsuka-kun..."

Sensei warily wrapped up Twoearle's introduction. Twoearle, shocked, cut her short.

"W wait a second! I was going to say me and Souji have the same last name because we live together and rile everyone up even more, and then gradually invite more and more misunderstandings and then masterfully and climactically reveal the truth!? What's with that boring explanation!"

"Well~~ we actually have another person to introduce today~~ I couldn't really spare you any more time,"

Sensei didn't seem too bothered about she'd derailed Twoearle's script.

"What?!"

Twoearle was shocked by the direction the scene was now taking. As if synchronizing with Twoearle and Sensei's conversation, the classroom door opened again, and a woman strode in.

Clad in a maid uniform like the one we'd seen her in two days before.

"I'm Sakuragawa Mikoto, I'll be your Phys. ed. teacher from today."

"Ooh, it's good to have you!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The class was dead silent.

"Ah, Sensei?"

A female classmate timidly raised her hand, but our teacher, with an expression like an obnoxious athlete trying to talk the referee out of a red card, feigned ignorance.

"I know nothing~~ I know nothing at all!"

Failing to read the room as well as outright lying her way out of responsibility; our homeroom teacher was revealing more of her true nature.

That being said, my eyes have always been fixed on the Student Body President, so I've never really paid attention to her maid, but she really was beautiful, and she suited twintails. As a bodyguard, maybe the twintails were so her hairstyle matched that of her young charge. Maybe it was just her style.

Either way, she didn't start wearing them recently on a whim. Those twintails were like a calling card to her. She's a professional, without a doubt. Fluffy like cotton candy, her twintails were regressing me back to my childhood.

"Wait, what's going on? Where did I go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go like this!"

A panicking Twoearle was sounding like a villain who'd had the tables turned on her while victory was all but assured.

The maid, Sakuragawa... sensei, stepped up to a shocked Twoearle and shook her hand. Her confident, adult aura seemed to bring the room under her control.

"I'm sure you all know me already as the maid responsible for guarding Shindou Erina-sama. However, if I'm always idle on campus Erina-sama sometimes worries about me being bored, which the superintendent worries could impact her studies. Hence, the superintendent talked to the headmaster and decided to grant me the role of a part-time gym teacher. Before you ask, yes I do have a teaching license."

A gym teacher wearing a maid uniform instead of a tracksuit- just what is our school coming to? I'd seen her fearlessly take on Ultima Guil forces before, so I know she's up to the task when it comes to physical fitness, at least.

"Although I have to say, you all are very well-mannered. A woman as stunning as myself appearing in the classroom would usually invite questions about my body measurements or whether I have a boyfriend... don't let me being Erina-sama... The Student Council President's maid scare you!"

Easy for you to say! Even Aika still has her mouth wide open in shock...

"Wait just a minute! What're you doing, coming in after me and acting like you own the place? This is my battlefield!"

"Don't be like that. You're still young, you'll have many more opportunities to take questions"

"No I don't! Today is my one and only chance at this!"

"I like your enthusiasm, young lady! Okay, I tell you what, lets make this fair by both taking questions at the same time... So does anyone have any questions?"

The class remained silent. Everyone sensed the same thing. Delicious bait was being dangled, but approaching it would cause a steel cage to fall, trapping you. You could be aware of this danger, but that didn't make the hungry urge to jump in any easier to supress.

"Hmm? I feel an intense gaze... Is that you, Mitsuka-kun?

"Uargh?!"

I'd been dozing off, but being called out like this shook me awake. We had met before in our clubroom, sure, but why would she... Gaze? Don't tell me I'd been staring at her twintails while I was half-asleep! I have to be more careful.

"No no I..."

"Sensei! Mitsuka likes twintails!!"

Someone finally raised their voice. Not to ask a question, however, but to rat me out... You've really done it now, Classmate A! Sorry, I still don't know your name!

"Well then, maybe I'll give you this. For a student who truly appreciates twintails, a small gift."

Maid-sensei approached my desk and handed me an envelope.

This size... A photo? A suggestive one of her twintails? I see... to present something like that in person, she must have a sizeable amount of confidence.

"This, isn't a photograph... a folded sheet of paper?"

The words printed on that paper were words that a fifteen-year-old boy like myself had no business seeing...

"You're pleased, aren't you!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, this is a Registration of marriage document..."

"Unless you're mistaken!? Do you really have so little confidence in your reading abilities?"

"In the bride section, your name is filled in, sensei."

"Of course it is! Recording the names of bride and groom, you give Registration of Marriage forms their meaning. If you hand them over blank you risk offending your partner!"

"What partner?"

"Why, you, of course!"

Something's not right here. How is she saying something that goes completely against common sense, with such overwhelming confidence?

"You like twintails, right? Then you should have no issue at all marrying me!"

She grabbed one of her twintails and held it out towards me. My heart skipped a beat, but this isn't the time to let her get the better of me. If I do, my life is over.

"Of course there's a problem, old woman. Souji-sama has already been sold to someone else!"

Twoearle stepped towards Sakuragawa-sensei, trying to take back the initiative. She was already completely immersed in the intense atmosphere permeating the classroom.

"Souji-sama, tear that up and throw it away right now! Sensei, who permitted you to marry Souji-sama? I've been betrothed to him since my previous life!" Twoearle said and gazed triumphantly around the classroom, who didn't react.

"Why? Why isn't the room filled with excited murmuring and cheering? This isn't the high-school romantic comedy I was expecting..."

Twoearle's despondent sobbing was hard to watch. Everyone was probably just trying not to get caught up in Sakuragawa-sensei's pace.

"Come to think of it, I saw you when I visited your clubroom with Erina-sama. You're that new transfer student, Twoearle. I've heard you're a genius who scored full marks on her placement exam. Also that you've got some issues we need to keep an eye on."

Yeah, her behavior for one thing. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be saying that in front of the student in question though... then again, with this teacher herself behaving just as bizarrely, I don't think we can expect much better.

"However, young lady, you're young. Although I am very jealous, when it comes to matters like this, you're still a little naïve. Past lives, or even current lovers, things like these can't stand in the way of the mighty marriage proposal! Proposals tear through what binds us and pierce social strata, and using them I can level the playing field!"

"So this is how a woman thinks when she leaves it too late to get married!?"

Twoearle's unease spread to the girls in the blink of an eye, and anxious whispers filled the air. Maid-sensei, however, was unfazed, instead opening the throttle further on her outburst.

"Do I look ridiculous to you girls? When you get to my age you start to realise that half-arsed panic is a waste of time. What you need is calm, collected, full-blown panic! You bear the cross of being single, and you live every day on the edge! That's the fate of a woman who's within spitting range of turning thirty!!"

"Ahhh!"

"What should I do, I don't have a boyfriend?!"

"I need to get married right now!! Wait, no, I still have half a year until my sixteenth birthday!"

The girls had fallen into panic. Why do we have to think about something like marriage in morning homeroom?

"Listen and learn, children. This might be well outside of the curriculum, but a teacher is still a teacher!"

And a hopeless one at that.

"And so, Mitsuka-kun, it's time you signed your name on the paper. It's only two and a half years until you're able to get married, I'll make sure to keep it safely stored until then."

Her attention had turned back on me.

"Ah, No! I..."

Aika broke her silence, standing up and raising her voice in protest.

"Sensei! There are some things you shouldn't say, even as a joke!"

For some reason, the girls piped up in support of Aika, saying "that's right, Sensei!" almost in unison. One girl went as far as "give it your all, Aika!"

"Why does Aika get cheered on but not me!?"

Twoearle looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What do you mean 'a joke'? So far I've handed marriage applications to five hundred and twenty-six people, and all were meant as sincere marriage proposals! It's just that various circumstances at the time meant they were forced to decline..."

She wasn't making a very good case for herself.

Come to think of it, though, these days you're able to just download these forms from a local government website and fill them out, but the one handed to me wasn't printed from the sort of paper you find in someone's home printer. This was the fancy official kind you could only get if you visited the office in person, and I bet that's the case for the other five hundred and twenty-six she's given out so far.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. This was insanity.

"Of course, I'll still respect the boundaries I have to maintain as an educator. Dating and relationships between teachers and their students is an absolute no-go. And so, instead of the whole 'dating with a view to marriage' charade, we'll just get married immediately!"

"Like hell you will!"

Aika, having finally had enough, set off towards Sensei, launching herself across the classroom.

"Hm?"

However, Maid-Sensei crossed her arms in front of her, forming a guard that managed to stop Aika's fist. By this point Aika's opponent would usually have already passed out, but she'd only managed to tear the sleeves of Sensei's uniform, throwing scraps of fabric into the air.

Wait a second, just what kind of force is Aika attacking our teacher with?

"Ah, you must be the other young lady I've heard about. Tsube Aika-kun is it? Achieving this level of Kung-Fu at such a young age!"

"Strong..."

Aika jumped back and raised her guard.

"No, we'll have to finish here. Class is about to start."

"How are you going to make this up to me, listen it's already doing the dingdongdingdong!"

Twoearle screamed, looking as if the world was about to end. She really had been planning all sorts of shenanigans, but they'd all come to naught. With a start like this she'll have trouble building any momentum later. I, Mitsuka Souji, speak from experience.

"So, boys, do any of you want marriage registration forms like Mitsuka-kun here has? I brought enough forms for all the boys on campus just in case, so there's no need to be shy!"

The boys all opened their textbooks and a fervor descended. It was as if they were desperately cramming for an exam this afternoon. Of course you'd be desperate. A wild beast you thought was busy chasing someone else, was ready to charge with you in its sights.

"Hell no! I'm gonna marry TailRed-tan. If my eyes catch even a glimpse of one of these forms it'll make TailRed-tan sad!"

"I see... Is this my punishment? Although my love for TailRed is true, as a man I'm still not worthy. All I can do is aim to be this yeargroup's top student!"

"When I get home, I'm filling out a marriage form just in case, but for the bride I'm gonna write TailRed!"

As I listened to these ominous murmurs I felt an otherworldly despair boil up within. We're already way past worrying about Twoearle's bizarre antics.

Are we really doing our job protecting this world? It seems like I'd not only ignited a surge in Twintail Element, but set lose something far more terrifying.

Sensing she wasn't having much luck with this class, Sakuragawa-sensei reluctantly stepped out from behind the teacher's desk.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today. Tsube-kun, lets continue this discussion sometime soon."

With an air that seemed to continue "...with our fists", maid-sensei left the classroom.

It felt like a monsoon had ravaged the classroom. She seemed like a different person to the one I'd seen guarding the student council president or sparring with Elemerians. We may have just seen her true character for the first time, free from the solemn duty of guarding the president.

Some torn scraps of maid uniform were strewn through the class. Aika took the Marriage Registration I'd been given and tore it to shreds. For some reason this earned her a standing ovation from a few of the girls.

She said she had enough copies for every male student. I wonder if she plans to give the same sort of introduction to the other classes. On the hunt, eying up her next victim- oh god...

<center>◇</center>

Sparrow Guildy made his way towards the base's innermost docking port to await the arrival of Krake Guildy and Levia Guildy's units. He was accompanied by Swan Guildy, a young officer who'd already proven himself on the battlefield.

"If we can just get those two to work together it'd be a great boon for us. We need to get them to bury the hatchet, whatever it takes"

"... yes, sir."

Once held up as a prodigy of Nurse (Uniform) Element, the lustre and vigor Swan Guildy once exuded had been replaced with misery and grief ever since the death of Drag Guildy. Sparrow Guildy hoped the arrival of Levia Guildy, one of Drag Guildy's old comrades, would help mend his broken heart.

This all depended, of course, on peace being maintained between these two units with incompatible ideologies. Driven by his nerves, Sparrow Guildy's pace grew quicker.

Ultima Guil was split into numerous units, each invading separate parallel worlds. One of these reasons was that splitting its forces and gradually conquering multiple worlds at the same time was more efficient than focusing on one at a time. However, this wasn't the only reason for this approach.

Separating Elemerians with different 'eccentricities'.

As individuals gain power, their egos swell. They start coming into conflict with each other, which could turn over time into full-blown skirmishes. For Elemerians, being simply manifestations of their eccentricities or hobbies themselves, disparaging or denying these means denying that Elemerian's very existence.

Even for small arguments, it wasn't uncommon for neither side to compromise and for them to eventually escalate to violence. Hence it was better to keep certain Elemerians apart from others. As a veteran within the organization who understood this, Sparrow Guildy couldn't hide his unease.

"Uarrrgh!"

Sparrow Guildy was lost for words at the scene unfolding within the docking port. Two transport ships had arrived, and the units they held each disembarked, a heavy mist of bloodlust spilling across the deck.

The two units were glaring at each other, with the two commanders glaring the hardest of all. Although he has a slim body and his face had refined features were ruined by the numerous tentacles protruding from his body, the biggest of which drooping down from his shoulders. The champion of Small Bust, Kraken Guildy

Levia Guildy, on the other hand, had a massive growth faintly resembling a mermaid's tail protruding from his crotch. He let it spiral around his body, acting as a kind of armor. He was hailed throughout Ultima Guil as a powerhouse of Large Bust Element.

The two leaders each had a dozen or so subordinates, who all looked ready to charge down the other unit. To prevent that sort of escalation, Sparrow Guildy jumped between the two commanders, feeling as if he was venturing into a wildfire.

"Krake Guildy-sama and Levia Guildy-sama, I'm greatly honoured to have the two of you visit this world!"

Responding to Sparrow Guildy's salute with a disinterested wave, Levia Guildy's words made it clear how angry he was-

"Looks like I've not only been ordered to take down a resilient foe, but also lumbered with dragging around this bunch of incompetents. Having said that, the General's orders are absolute, so I'll make sure I see the job through."

Krake Guildy responded indignantly-

"I could say the same thing! You're a half-baked Elemerian who feels sorry for the worlds he's supposed to conquer ends up failing to even properly wring out their Elemera!"

"Hah! I see your medieval knight obsession has gone up another couple of notches since we last met. Looks like you're making your subordinates wear silly cloaks now as well!"

"I beg your pardon, Levia Guildy, but these cloaks were actually-"
Raising his hand to silence his subordinate, Krake Guildy glared at his rival.

"I ask that you keep as far away as possible from my squad. I don't want my men falling to the temptation of elements as tasteless and obscene as Large Bust."

"What did you say!?"
"How dare you!!"
This time it was Levia Guildy's turn to remonstrate his incensed squad members:
"A neanderthal that insists that twintails look best without any cleavage... you are pathetic, my friend!"

"..."
"..."
The two suddenly opened their eyes wide in unison and screamed:
"Large!"
"Small!"

The air was filled with a screeching cacophony, sending a palpable shiver through the air. As the two collided with each other the walls of the docking bay buckled. The skirmish moved too fast to know which attacks were exchanged.

After a time, Levia Guildy could be seen with his tail wrapped around his body. Krake Guildy drew back the tentacles protruding from his back so that they were mostly back in his body. It seems like the previous clash happened between these natural weapons.

"Ugh, guess it can't be helped. This base doesn't seem big enough to garrison us. We'll use our ship as well until facilities are improved. Once we get set up, I'll get you to show me the records you have on these Twintails."

"Yes sir!"
After hearing Sparrow Guildy's acknowledgement, Krake Guildy turned and made his way back to his transport ship, his unit in tow. It seemed that he planed to keep his unit's quarters there for the time being.

“You can all fall out and return to your quarters as well. I have something personal to attend to.”

After sending his unit back to base, Levia Guildy got a rundown on the layout of the base from Swan Guildy. He made sure to ask the location of Drag Guildy’s old quarters as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what business do you have in Drag Guildy-sama’s room, Levia Guidy-sama?

Levia Guildy replied to Swan Guildy’s faltering question with a hearty laugh.

“Haha, well you see, I thought I’d let some steam off before our next battle by having a laugh remembering that deadbeat loser”

Swan Guildy shook with fear and rage as he stepped up to his superior and grasped his shoulders with his hands.

“I beg your pardon, sir, but I’d like you to take back what you just said”

“Why should I?”

“Leave off it, Swan Guildy!”

Ignoring Sparrow Guildy’s stern warning, Swan Guildy leered at his superior, seething with rage.

“Although he lost, Drag Guildy fought bravely, and with great honor!”

“Shut the hell up, kid!”

Levia Guildy flicked his crotch-tentacle, in an instant blasting Swan Guildy into a nearby wall. The same attack he used in his skirmish with Krake Guildy a moment ago.

Swan Guildy let out a pain-filled groan.

“If you call yourself a warrior, you’d do better going out and swinging a sword or two than moping around about a dead commander. Unless you want to take after a loser like him, that is!”

Wrapping his tentacle back around his body, and after glaring down at the slumped Swan Guildy, Krake Guildy strode off, assumedly towards Drag Guildy’s room.

“If I wasn’t so weak, then maybe Drag Guildy wouldn’t have to bear that sort of disrespect…”

Swan Guildy was more worried about the honour of his fallen commander than his injured body. Sparrow Guildy helped his comrade up and gently shook his head.

“That’s not true, look at Levia Guildy-dono”

Swan Guildy leered at Levia Guildy as he walked away, but before long his expression started to soften.

“Wait, don’t tell me…”

Levia Guildy’s tentacle was wrapped so tightly it looked like it was about to slice into his body.

Scorning with his voice, and crying with his tentacle.

Swan Guildy was lost for words at the clumsy way this old warrior showed his grief.

“Levia Guildy-sama is an old comrade of the late Drag Guildy-sama. There’s no doubt he feels great sadness at his passing. You can’t maintain a unit like this with nothing to your character but brute strength. He just places tremendous pressure on himself, and that means forcing his emotions into hiding like this.”

Swan Guildy felt shattered; his immaturity had once again been brought into sharp relief. However, he wasn’t one to give up that easily.

“Swing a sword or two, huh? I think I’ll take your advice!”

“You seem as good a person to ask as any, Sparrow Guildy-dono. Could you tell me about that legendary training that Dragon Guildy is said to have put himself through? I’m thinking of taking it on myself.”

“You can’t be thinking of…”

“It takes a full yeah to truly complete it, but if I can at least last until I enter combat…”

“Swan Guildy, please don’t tell me you’re going to put yourself through ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’! Do you want to get yourself killed!?”

One of the greatest of Drag Guildy’s victories, and one of Ultima Guil’s five ‘Great Trials’, ‘Sea-tsu-ruu-aama-zone’ requires the challenger to for one year have any online goods they order delivered with completely transparent packaging.

Swan Guildy’s eyes were hardened with resolve.
“I vow to continue what Drag Guildy started!”

Would the swan be able to follow in the dragon’s wake?
Swan Guildy’s battle was only just beginning.

Levia Guildy was visiting the room Drag Guildy had left behind.

Elemerians had no custom of memorialising their dead with gravestones or mausoleums.
On death, they leave nothing behind. Simply returning to the universe.

As a spiritual entity, they placed no stock in promises in heaven or reincarnation.
To disappear gracefully, and look over their comrades as part of the universe itself.

This gracefulness was the Elemerian’s strength and pride. There was no reason to let anguish bring you down.

Even then, parting with loved ones isn’t easy.

Dragon Guildy would always speak of his dearest wish; to have a perfect young girl to wash his back.
Hence, it was no surprise that in his room was a gigantic pile of young-girl figurines left by his loyal troops. In the dim light its silhouette gave the impression of an ancient grave-marker.

It told a story of a courageous, noble warrior.

Levia Guildy took out the boobie mousepad he’d brought along and carefully added it to the pile of offerings. The mousepad featured an ample bust, far removed from the girls Drag Guildy preferred.

“I brought a little something for you to remember me by, Drag Guildy.”

If he were a human, offerings like these could comfort a departed soul. Elemerians, however, have neither flesh nor blood.

Beings of spiritual energy, they know neither the smell of flowers, nor the taste of wine.

To offer his sorely missed comrade, nothing came close to matching the poignance of this boobie mousepad.

“You sought after twintails and only twintails right through to the bitter end. But your war is over now.
Have a holiday, and maybe one day give boobs a try.
I pray you’ll be able to rest free from suffering”

Muttering just these few words, Levia Guildy turned and left the room.

“That girl who took you down, I’m going to take her twintails. Will be a good gift to send you on your way.”

Returning to the cargo bay, Levia Guildy called out to a lone warrior who was waiting for his superior’s return outside the transport ship.
“I’ve hardened my resolve. We must not lose to the Krake Guildy’s unit. We’ll show them the true power of Large Bust!”

“Yes sir!”

The warrior jumped to his feet, his response full of energy. His huge stature dwarfed even that of Levia Guildy.

Out of his head grew two menacing horns that wouldn’t look out of place on a giant bull.

Buffalo Guildy, Levia Guildy’s trusted lieutenant, roused himself at the thought of taking on the Twintails. The sound of his stomping filled the cargo hold.

<center>◇</center>

The end of Twoearle’s very disappointing first day at high-school brought with it another Elemerian attack, this time in a convention centre where an Idol contest was taking place.

Panicked entrants were running back and forth, their chests bouncing in their revealing swimsuits.

For some reason, Aika seemed more angry at these contestants than the attacking Elemerian.

“What a disgusting scene; I’m already feeling sick. Let’s get this place cleaned up nice and quick.”

“I agree with you on finishing this up quickly, Aika, but I’m not sure you’ve got the right thing in mind…”

Looking tremendously out of place in this gaudy contest venue, a monstrous cattle-like Elemerian crossed his arms, looking fed up. His horns were bent into murderous barbs that wouldn’t look out of place on a fighting bull.

“Nothing but cheap imitations. Seems like there’s no true Large Bust to be found here either.”

It seemed like this guy wasn’t finding what he was after here. I did think he was letting attendees escape rather easily.

“For now, I’ll settle with stealing this Twintail Element”

All the girls who had twintails were cowering on the floor, surrounded by Ultiroids. They seemed somehow like they were posing for the cameras as well, but that must’ve been my imagination.

As we moved to rescue these victims, the huge Elemerian moved to block our path.

“I’m not letting you get in my way, Twintails! I, Buffalo Guildy, promise to aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust, even if it costs me my life!”

He looked to be a formidable opponent, but as always with these guys his words gave a decidedly different impression.

“Large Bust… they really have some vulgar Elements” I said, sighing warily.

Aika, on the other hand, had a gleam in her eyes, like a tiger eyeing her prey.

“Huh… so if I take this guy down, I get a Elemera Orb for large breasts?”

“Uh, wait, Blue!”

Buffalo Guildy began his sermon, oblivious to the change in Aika’s demeanour.
“A vulgar Element, you say? Well I guess you’d be too young to understand.
Keep believing in yourself, though, and as you grow up, your chest will grow along with you. Make sure you don’t forget your training, though, like so many of the attendees here-”

“Aura Pillar! through to… Execute Wave!”

Aika blasted her finishing move at her prey, mid-sermon and completely unprepared for combat. Buffalo Guildy was blown to smithereens. His last words were “Breasts, in essence, are-“.

“Jesus Christ!”

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for our enemy. I glanced at Aika, and her demonic expression made me wonder for an instant if we were actually the bad guys.

From his demeanour, he probably had a lot of faith placed in him. His ’master’ would be lost for words at this sudden turn of events.

Aika was crouched down on the floor beside where Buffalo Guildy disappeared, fishing through the smoke like a Hyena tearing at carrion. Before long, she stood up, holding a diamond-shaped gem up triumphantly.

“I did it, Red! I got Large Bust!”

“Try to keep your greed a little more hidden, Blue. Even though Elemerians disappear when you kill them, what you’re doing is looks a little like looting a corpse,” I said pleadingly.

“And now I’ve got this I can… Hahahaha!”

Please stop it Aika. We’re in a very public place, and there’s a lot of cameras running. At least do something about that maniacal expression, I can already see you watching the news in horror tomorrow.

As our fight had finished before I’d even unsheathed my sword, all I could really do now was try and keep an eye on Aika.

A few of the twin-tailed contestants approached me excitedly.

“Could you touch my twintails?”

“… huh?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“There’s a rumour that if you touch our hair we get super good luck and happiness!”

There’s some real nonsense going around. I know at the very least touching twintails gives me great happiness, but touching strangers’ hair felt a little weird.

“Uh, hear I go!” I said falteringly.

Lacking the guts to decline, I gingerly touched one of the closest girl’s twintails.

“Ahh!”

The girl let out what was probably supposed to sound like a gasp of pleasure, and the others rushed forward trying to claim their turn.

Shit, I was about to get swept away in a tsunami of boobs…

“Sorry everyone, we’re returning to base now!”

Transport-heli Aika swept in at low altitude, snatched one of my twintails, and ascended rapidly, jerking me up into the air. I could see fans look up disappointedly, and then shrink into the distance as we pulled away.

“This really hurts, Aika! How many times do I have to tell you to be kinder to my twintails?”

“Stop saying that Souji, you sound crazy!”

“Ouch, don’t shake me like that!”

Aika managed to grab my other twintail, and before long I was swaying back and forth like I was on a swing-set.

“Honestly, today was worth it just to get my hands on this” Aika said, assumedly referring to Buffalo Guildy’s Elemeria Orb.
“Twoearle won’t be able to tease me ever again!”

Aika was in a very good mood, for some reason or other. She raced through the air, cheering. Oh no, not this again…

As the asphalt raced to meet us, all I could do was spread my arms and legs out in the shape of the chinese character for ‘big’, ‘大’.

Carving this symbol into the earth’s crust would be a lasting symbol of the tumultuous life of Mitsuka Souji.

<center>◇</center>

“It seems that the reports of Ultima Guil increasing their forces were true”

Me, Aika and Twoearle were gathered in the console room in our secret hideout. Me and Twoearle were checking over the combat footage while sharing our thoughts on today’s enemy.

“’aid my master in his propagation of Large Bust’… if that’s what he’s looking for, his ’master’ can’t be Tiger Guildy, since he was after school-swimsuit element.

That means there must be another commander-class elemerian stationed here on earth.”

“I agree. If we put together all the data we’ve collected so far, numerous squadrons are each assaulting different universes concurrently.

When they experience unforeseen amounts of resistance, they rotate extra squads in for support. It seems like this is what we’re experiencing now,”

If Twoearle’s hypothesis is accurate, then even if we eliminate one of their units, they’ll keep rotating more in to fill the gap they left. And what’s more, as their campaign drags on and on, the squadrons they deploy will only get bigger and more dangerous.

“You reckon we’ll be able to hold on?” I asked Twoearle, my voice tinged with unease. From hereon out, we’ll have to face an enemy whose size not even Twoearle can hope to predict.

The night Twoearle first told me of Ultima Guil, I was shocked at the scale of who we’d be fighting, but Drag Guildy’s squadron was only a single leaf of the tree that is Ultima Guil.

“We’ll be okay, Souji-sama. Your love of twintails knows no bounds!”

“Thanks, Twoearle…”

I know we’ve got no choice but to fight. I knew sharing my anxiety hoping for Twoearle’s reassurance was just putting pressure on her. Even so, her words really meant a lot to me.

What’s more, in these desperate times, where if anything we should be building each other’s morale, there was one comrade who I had to convince to throw in the towel…

An aura of desperation seethed in the corner of the console room. A figure was hitting, swinging around, biting its left arm.

“I don’t think it’s gonna work, Aika”

Transformed into TailBlue, Aika was trying to use today’s Large Bust elemera orb, jamming it into the Elemeletion system over and over again, trying to get it to activate.

No matter what she did, however, the device refused to respond. Her anger had long since exhausted itself, now replaced with an expression devoid of life.

“I can’t use it…” Aika said, her voice carrying an energy that would be more at home predicting the end of the world.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was possibly the happiest I’d ever seen her, thinking she’d finally got her hands on the chest she’d always wanted.

“Aika, let’s suppose for a second you did get the orb to work. Have we had even one example of Elemeria Orbs having the effects you’d think of given their names?

Take Rabbit, for example. It didn’t give you rabbit airs or anything like that.”

“I know! But for me, this was my last hope! It’s all overrrr ahahah…”

She’s started crying on me.

In this case, when we say we can’t use an elemerian orb, we don’t mean it’s effect is useless, just that we can’t activate it.

This was something even Twoearle wasn’t aware of, but it seems that there are some Elemeria Orbs that just can’t be used by the Tailgear. Something to do with their purity, apparently.

For example, when we took out Fox Guildy, apart from the Ribbon element that made up most of his core, he also possessed some of the Doll element.

Just like humans often have more than one interest, hobby or element, throughout an Elemerian’s lifetime they gain small amounts of other elements. As an Elemerian gains more of these secondary elements, the purity of their core reduces.

For an Elemerian, these elements that form their very existence can interfere and react with each other, altering their core’s purity.

This was Twoearle’s working hypothesis on what was going on.

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-12-07T12:22:35Z

Sophie:

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-11-03T16:11:14Z

Sophie: /* Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus */

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-10-24T11:21:13Z

Sophie:

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-10-24T11:18:47Z

Sophie:

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-08-27T10:24:55Z

Sophie:

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-07-29T14:14:16Z

Sophie: /* Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus */

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-07-27T14:14:51Z

Sophie: /* Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus */

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-07-06T16:45:45Z

Sophie: /* Chapter 2 Perverts on Campus */

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 2

2024-06-30T11:31:08Z

Sophie:

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 1

2024-06-30T10:59:45Z

Sophie: /* Chapter 1: I hoped for the Twintails club from the start */

[[Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu|Back to Index]]

== Chapter 1: I hoped for the Twintails club from the start ==
It moved in front of my face, as if I were rubbing my fingers. It was a subconscious action.

“...oh.”

What am I doing? There aren’t any twintails there.

“It must have become a habit from my multiple transformations... I better be careful.”

Although I was saying that, I was trying to suppress a smile. As I walked along the club building afterschool, I felt elated by my achievement.

I guess I deserve to be elated.

They say that intelligence is like a sweet fountain and in the modern world it seems harder to apply the saying that if you never give up you are bound to achieve your dreams.

However, I, Mitsuka Souji, achieved my dream right after I entered highschool.

I fulfilled my childhood dream. I had loved twintails so much and one day I became a twintail. Not from growing my hair to an unnatural length or wearing a wig, but true and magnificent twintails.

However that was the result of overtechnology from another world and as I ‘transformed’ into a girl and fought with invaders from a different universe, my life became dream-like in a different way.

Even something simple like loving twintails, if it is the greatest in the world, can defend humanity.

And after that only awkward things happened to me daily... but I realized why this girl had entrusted her power to me and I could calm my mind by fighting formidable enemies who loved the same hairstyle, even if their way of life and motives were different to mine. I said farewell to the corner of my mind which was embarrassed of my passion for twintails and wanted to grow my love for twintails even further.

Therefore I think today is an important day as I announce this new resolution to the world.

This highschool, part of Yougetsu Academy which takes students all the way from elementary school to university, boasts the greatest number of pupils amongst the local highscools and had a large number of extra-curricular clubs.

Today, that number will be increased by one. The Twintails Club – our club – will be added.

As I completed the administrative process for using a club room during recess, all I have to do is wait for the approval of the club formation. I took out the nameplate with the words ‘Twintails Club’ from my bag and stared at it with infinitely deep emotions. It was a brand new nameplate, made in the technology classroom over lunch break. Confirming the touch of the smooth ivory-like surface, I probed the curves of the engraved lettering one by one.

If you write the word ‘twintails’ in a gothic font it feels like the embodiment of cuteness, but if it is expressed in a Mincho font it seems so solemn, almost making you straighten your posture under the gravity.

I stopped at the end of the club building corridor. Although rather far from my classroom, from today onwards this is our clubroom. I took off the white sign indicating a free room and put on the new nameplate.

“So it’s the Twintails Club...”

The word ‘twintails’ is truly fascinating. Even if you just say it like this, the very sound coming out of my throat makes me happy. Everyone must have hummed to a tune in the bath or shower without realizing it. For me, there are many times when I belatedly think ‘oh, I just said twintails again’.

In addition when I just look at the very letters, I feel content and enlightened, as if I am meditating about the philosophy of the universe.

Even with my new ability to wear twintails, I am making fresh discoveries every day.

And I will make even greater ones in this club.

“Alright, I’ve made an official club, so let’s try hard to make it grow!”

As I opened door with my new determination –

“Oh Souji-sama! I’m so glad you’re here! Please say something to this beast! Tell it that unless it starts to act like a human I will give it away to the animal rearing club!!”

– the two girls who had come here sharing the same feelings were having a catfight. My elated emotions went away at the speed of light.

And...one was sprawled on the floor unlike her vibrant attitude and the other was on top of her on a mounting position, as if she would never let go even if she died. This was only an encounter between predator and prey and could not be called a fight.

“You’re the animal! Why are you showing your boobs!!”

My childhood friend and the person most sympathetic to twintails, Tsube Aika, was the predator in the situation.

“I tried to turn around and show my bra and panties through my uniform with a cute scream when Souji-sama came in, but Aika-san obstructed me!!”

And Twoearle, a visitor from another world who entrusted me with her twintails, was the prey. Her clothes were loosened in several places, perhaps from the relentless assault.

As per usual the two girls were playing together in a friendly way. During recess the well-cleaned floor, windows and walls...turned into a specially set up wrestling ring.

“And also, why are you in school right now! Surely there has to be some sort of procedure!”

“Do not worry, both the test and paperwork have been submitted and the only thing left is to finalize the entry date! So Aika-san, please restrain your abnormally violent expression of youth in school! And why are you making me do the cowgirl position with you!”

“It’s not a c-cowgirl position! This is a mount, a mount okay! Who would do it with someone like you...”

“You are blushing! You imagined it you pervert! You were riding a guy in your imaginations, right? But for a flat chest like you with no bouncing boobs, it wouldn’t even be funny to do it cowgirl!”

“...I guess so. But I’m very good at making other people bounce around!”

“Stop..ah...my..brain..is shaking...”

Aika leapt on the slightly undressed Twoearle and delivered a chain of attacks from an inescapable mount. No wait, you’re shaking too, Aika. Your twintails at least.

“Twoearle, just surrender... Aika, please just stop now!”

“Surrender..? You can’t give up, this isn’t some sort of combat sport”

“I want to! Please say I can!!”

...this is just an everyday occurrence.

With this inelegant scene unfolding, like on any other day, I guess Twoearle will soon adjust to this school. Unfortunately not just in a good way.

Aika and I use our love for twintails to transform into ‘Twintails’ in order to fight invaders from another universe. This morning on the way to school we took down an Elemerian – a monster which had declared war on the whole world. It had the appearance of a tiger and had an obsession for school swimsuits.

Such days continued until a short while ago, when the fighting came to a pause when we defeated the enemy commander. Taking advantage of this break, Twoearle decided to join Yougetsu Academy. Originally today was supposed to be her first day but due to the incident with the Elemerian this morning, she said that the timing would not match and delayed the date of her entry. She was preparing something like an introduction yesterday, but I have a bad feeling about that.

Furthermore in order to take responsibility for my actions, I decided to make the club I had carelessly written on the club questionnaire... I decided to officially create the Twintails Club.

“Protect twintails and protect the world. That is the aims of our Twintails Club. Now let’s go for it!”

Aika released the mount of death on Twoearle and stoop up.

“Well, it can’t be helped then. Those perverts won’t stop coming, so we may as well do it properly.”

“Aika-san’s so-called playing also will not stop coming, so for how much longer must I endure this? At this rate both my mind and my body will end up breaking...”

Having escaped from Aika’s attacks, Twoearle recovered at an amazing speed as per usual and immediately adjusted her clothing.

Every day the two went on well and had playfights. Perhaps this was due to their compatibility – Twoearle had an incredibly strong body as she was from another world while Aika was the kind of person who thought with their fists.

As the clubroom had been secured, I suggested to Twoearle what must be done first.

“So Twoearle, I have a request. Can you do it?”

“I understand! I will strip immediately!!”

Aika grabbed Twoearle’s hand which she had put up so confidently, placed a hand on her narrow waistline, spun her around two...no three times and finally shoved her onto the floor.

“So what do want, Souji?”

“I want to ask a favor to you as well. Please behave more quietly.”

“Yes...say, that...Live quietly and unnoticeably...just like your boobs...”

Twoearle voiced her approval feebly, like a victim in a horror movie slowly die from a curse.

“So Twoearle, could you modify this room like the underground base in our house? I guess we’ll need quite a few things, like a transportation device to move quickly to the base. ...oh, and I recommend you change the material of the floor to something softer; otherwise there may be a risk to your life.”

“Thank you for thinking about me, Souji-sama! You are right, we need to modify this room. Just now I realized the need for defensive structures such as anti-barbarian traps.”

Twoearle stood up with glaring eyes. I’m scared of Aika, who is remaining calm even though she blatantly knows that she is the subject of the conversation.

Shown by her attempts to use technology to improve her offensive capability rather than defensive ones, it seems that Twoearle hates losing as much as Aika.

Aika and I were leaning on the corridor wall while waiting for Twoearle to finish modifying the room.

She had said that the room wouldn’t take more than an hour to finish – after all, she had built the enormous underground base in one night.

As if she had become the crane from the Crane’s Repayment (a Japanese folk tale), she stuck a sign on the door saying ‘do not enter’.

As expected strange sounds similar to the ones from that night when the base was built could be heard.

Urisekke.
Nyakerropa. Shohaha.
Karopereprepopu.
Fumuememe, komiinmyoimyoi.

“...what is that awkward noise which seems to look just wrong when you try to express it in letters?”

I was relieved that the feeling was shared between all humanity, but Aika tried to open the door. I stopped her with all my might – after all, Twoearle might return to her original world if we saw her working.

“...anyways, I guess it’s kinda surprising that there’s such a nice clubroom which we could use.”

That was pretty obvious. Although our school was enormous, there was finite space which the students could use. A newly formed club only consisting of three people finding such a nice clubroom at the end of April was nothing short of a miracle.

Well, technically speaking I guess there is a reason.

“Oh the thing is, this place used to be shut off up till now. Apparently there were lots of rumours of ghosts appearing here. There are a lot of rumours, like how a girl committed suicide in this very spot a long time ago.”

“Wait really?! Then why did they give such an ill-omened room to us?”

“After I said to the teacher that you were in our club, the teacher said ‘I guess it’ll be fine then~’ and let us use it.”

Our class teacher was easy to persuade as she did things differently to other teachers and glossed over the details.

“Hey you! What do you think I am! And that teacher too!”

“Now listen carefully, Aika. Elemerians are essentially a physical embodiment of a mind’s desires. In other words they are quite similar to ghosts. So why are you being so scared now.”

Aika took a deep breath and cast a side glance at me.

“...so if a ghost appears... take responsibility and protect me.”

“What? Oh, okay then...”

Why is she suddenly being so shy – is Aika that afraid of ghosts? To be honest I have no memories of Aika being scared of anything.

“It’s finished~ And please stop being so sneaky.”

Twoearle opened the door and beckoned us to come in. Aika and I walked in quickly. For some reason, Aika clicked her tongue in disapproval.

“With this, the disguise is perfect!”

A whiteboard. A bookshelf. A table for meetings and folding chairs. A cabinet. Although this was a clubroom furnished with only the bare essentials, Twoearle said that this had all been made with her special technology.

“Why didn’t you show us what you were doing.”

Aika said with a pout.

“Well that’s a secret~”

Twoearle winked and placed her index finger on her lip.

Aika rubbed her temples while she grinded her teeth. It seems that she still had a spiteful dislike for Twoearle’s feminine actions.

“Aren’t you curious Souji? You can’t be unconcerned about exactly what she’s doing!”

“Well, maybe..?”

I am curious. But my instincts tell me that it would be better not to know. Perhaps if I find out, I’ll never be able to go back...

“Instead I will show you one of the room’s features. Aika-san, please sit on that chair over there,”

“This one?”

When Twoearle saw that Aika had sat down on the chair with armrests, she undid a button on her school blouse and took out a remote from between her boobs.

Why doesn’t she just keep it in her pocket?

“Switch on!!”

As she pressed the remote some objects loosely resembling bear traps came out of the floor and secured Aika’s legs tightly to the chair while a clamp came out from the armrests and locked her wrists.

“...what is this.”

Aika said in a cold voice, looking down at her completely restrained body.

“Hahahaha! It seems that curiosity has killed the cat, Aika-san! Escape is impossible from that situation! Behold, the anti-Aika system mark 2, Icaughtyouaika~!”

As if she had achieved something great, Twoearle pointed at Aika and boasted.

“Now, what should I do. Maybe I should draw on those flat boobs of yours, which seems to be the perfect flatness for a kindergartener to draw on with a crayon. Or should I take off my bra right here and put it on you, so that you sustain irreversibly great psychological damage..?”

Aika, tightly fixed to the chair appeared like a prisoner awaiting electrocution but did not feel shaken in the least by Twoearle moving in closer to her with the intent to play a prank.
Aika breathed in from her nose and

“Fhn!”

A short fighting cry. Aika moved her arms so that they crossed in front of her chest and destroyed the seemingly strong shackles.

“Thi... this can’t be happening, even the anti-Aika system mark 2 has failed?!”

Ignoring the now distressed Twoearle, Aika stood up overflowing with confidence.
It seems that facing anti-Aika systems without transforming is her policy, in a way.

“Did you really think that you would catch me with a system operated by a remote placed between your boobs?”

Aika broke the remaining shackles on her wrists with brute force and tossed them aside.
When Twoearle realized that the intense stare was directed at her cleavage, she covered her mouth and turned away as if embarrassed.

“Ah Aika-san, you perv☆”

Twoearle received a powerful punch and fell down to the floor. Judging by what the tone of her voice just then, ☆s should be floating in front of her eyes. Why is there more physical activity here than the sports clubs?

Twoearle placed a case the size of a pizza box on the table, having taken it out of her gown pocket. Of course it has to be a pocket which has transcended conventional science.

“Hm, so you can’t put things of that size in between your boobs then?”

Aika was sitting down on a chair with her legs crossed over, wearing a victor’s smile.

“Why are you acting like you won...”

“It is alright, Souji-sama. Listening kindly to the words of those with inferior boobs is a duty of the large-breasted people.”

“Gu, gi...”

Maybe because she was the one who had started the provocation, Aika sat there gripping her pathetic boobs so hard that it looked like they were being julienned.

“The mission of the noble breasts (Noblesse oblige)... those with superior boobs must help those without... It is only because of these words which I keep close to my chest do I restrain myself from retaliating to your violence. Because, of, these enormous boobs.”

Twoearle bounced her large boobs up and down as if she were bouncing two balls.
Seeing this, a large quantity of blood flowed out from between Aika’s lips, making her look like she was having hematemesis.

“I see... so with great breasts there comes great responsibility.”

“That’s right! Oh? Oh! Souji-sama, did you just develop an interest in boobs?”

“What? No, not really... anyways what’s inside that box?”

Although those awe-inspiring words made me support boobs, my real curiosity was about the contents of the box.

“Well, I made it to commemorate the founding of the Twintails Club!”

As I opened the box I saw three smartphone-like devices inside.

“These are the tools for the Twintails. I made three, so please take one.”

“Whoa!”

At the end of the day I am a boy. So it is obvious that I find new machines exciting. What made me happier than anything else was the fact that Twoearle had prepared three of them – that means she remembered what I had said about the three of us being the Twintails.

“High performance telecommunications device, namely the Twoearlephone!”

“...Twoearlephone, doesn’t that make you even slightly embarrassed?”

“Not at all, why?”

Aika closed her mouth at the nonchalant response.

The two anti-Aika systems which had both been destroyed, then this Twoearlephone. Who knows, maybe she might make something named after me next.

“Not only does this make calls from underground, in the ocean and in deep space, it can also act as a voice changer, mass spectrometer and various other devices with updates.”

As with the Tailgear, why does she emphasise that it can be used in space?! I imagined how twintails would move in space, with reference to various principles of twintail dynamics.
Twoearle picked up on of the Twoearlephones and showed it to us.

“If you use your bracelets to communicate, as you have done up till now, it might look suspicious to other people. One of the features of this Twoearlephone is the ability encrypt the content of the conversation in real time. Sound has traditionally been the weak point of recognition changing devices, after all.”

“That’s amazing!”

“Eh? What does that mean?”

Aika, not really into machines, had little clue what we were talking about.

“To make this simple... say Souji-sama shouts “have the Ultima Guil appeared?!” Those words will reach us clearly by the Twoearlephone, but to the people standing nearby it would sound something like “what’s for dinner tonight?””

This is an incredibly simple yet amazing piece of technology.

“Thanks Twoearle. Trying to hide our identity is quite stressful. With this, at least communications should be fine now!”

“Ehehe~, please pat my boobs as a reward.”

“I’m sorry~ tell me how to use this thing!”

As if trying to do a tsukkomi, Aika rebutted Twoeale.

“...well, fine. The basic usage is identical to a normal smartphone. Souji-sama, would you be as kind to call me as a demonstration?”

“Right. I’ll do it.”

“Yes! Please call me to your heart’s extent!!”

I don’t know why her face reddened and pupils widened in anticipation; instead I just called Twoearle’s number which happened to be already registered.

“Twintail twintail, twintail? (Have the Ultima Guil appeared?)”

“Ah, ah, I am behind you right now, showing my boobs scantily clad by black lingerie~ (Please deploy quickly Souji-sama!)”

This is amazing. The correct answer to what I had said definitely came back from the Twoearlephone and the changed voice on Twoearle’s had also come back faintly. I think it had something to do with being scantily clad... But the problem is I don’t know how my voice became changed.

“What was that, on Souji’s side! It sounds likes some bloody ancient twintail language!!”

“The fact that Souji-sama is obsessed with twintails is surprisingly well known, so I thought this would be perfect...”

An ancient twintail language. I would love to major in it at university, but could it be used in everyday situations? It would be more of an attention-seeking feature rather than a disguise.
Aika picked up her own Twoearlephone.

“I’ll try now, Souji.”

“Okay... So Aika’s number is...”

Aika’s number was second in the contacts list, after Twoearle’s. Above the kanji for Tsube Aika were the words ‘damned bitch’; was she thinking about dogs when she made this?

“Twin twin twintail, twin twin twin, twintail! (Aika, let’s hurry to the scene!)”

“Gehahahahahaha, I wanna eat raw meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! I want it raw, raw! I love it raw! Because I’m a bitch! (How is it? Can you hear me properly? There’s nothing weird right?)”

The ancient twintails language was completely drowned out by the almost demonic sound which could be heard from the ear not on the Twoearlephone.

“Right! Aika-san’s voice has been changed perfectly!”

“Really? Let’s see then.”

Aika took out her own phone from her skirt pocket and pressed its screen.

“Um... Aika-san... what...”

『Gehahahahahaha, I wanna eat raw meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! I want it raw, raw! I love it raw! Because I’m a bitch!』

Aika had recorded her modified voice as she did not trust Twoearle. So that’s why she had me show her how to record stuff on her phone...

With a powerful throw only seen in the last innings of the national finals of a highschool baseball competition, Aika pitched her Twoearlephone against the wall.

“The Twoearlephone-!! I wanted to upgrade it later to link it with the Tailbrace to make a transformation phone.”

“Screw a transformation phone. Those are shit phones anyway!”

“Hey are you trying to antagonize all of the heroes out there who transform using their phones...”

I picked up the Twoearlephone Aika had thrown. Luckily it seemed to be intact.

If it could survive Aika’s throws, it would definitely function with ease in the depths of the sea and in outer space.

“This is too far, Aika; she made it just for us. You can just change the voice modifier.”

“it might be fine for you because it’s something you like but for me...”

“Wait, Aika. Be quiet...”

I suddenly noticed a feeling which seemed to penetrate me slightly then come out again, so I cut off Aika and stood up from my seat.

“...I can feel the twintails. It’s coming towards here.”

“What?! Why are you suddenly talking like an Elemerian!”

“Yeah you can talk!”

I am much more logical than Aika, who had trained her five senses so that she could use her instincts to detect threats around her without relying upon sight.

Right after that. A tap on the door. A quiet knock could be heard in the room,

“This is the student council president Shindou Erina. May I enter?”

“-what?!”

The visit from a completely unexpected person led to a slight state of panic in the room.

“P-please wait!”

I said that and desperately looked around. I could make the Twoearlephone pass for something else, and there shouldn’t be something which shouldn’t be seen, right..?

“Twoearle, is there anything which needs hiding?”

“Oh, other than this, no!”

Twoearle pointed at Aika. With a perfectly straight face.

Aika struck Twoearle’s face with her elbow and followed up with a headlock to devastating effect. However this was an emergency situation so I had no leisure to pay attention to this now common spectacle. In reality in a scenario like the student council president’s visit, Twoearle could be right.

“C-come in!”

It was a mindless situation but I had to let her in at some point.

“Well excuse my entry.”

The moment the door opened, the air – changed.

Footsteps so elegant that a refreshing noise could have been heard.

The student council president who was accompanied by a maid seemed to be a princess from a different country.

There even seemed to be a sense of incongruity, as if a pure princess had walked into a blood-stained amphitheater.

President Shindou Erina.

A shining twintail wearer, who had captured my heart since the day of the entrance ceremony.

Her golden twintails flowing in a 八 shape brought images of a bridal veil to mind.

“Ah, ahh...”

I still haven’t got used to it. It’s almost scarily captivating.

“...and the person over there is–“

The president looked straight at Twoearle, who was as expected too conspicuous to be seen as an ordinary student. Before I could think of an excuse the president opened her mouth first.

“I have heard that a female student has completed the admissions process today, is that you?”

“Yes. She is my relative from overseas. I'm sorry. She begged me to show her around the school before she officially joined...”

Quickly I explained to her with our planned ‘cover’. Of course the student council, responsible for thousands of students, knew about a transfer.

“So it is, then please tour the school to your heart’s content and I hope you will enjoy your time here.”

As the president said this with a smiling face, Twoearle nodded without speaking. There was a part of me which worried that the school authorities may have said something about an outsider’s entry, but I could relax for now.

However when the president looked at the document in her hand, her smile disappeared at once only to be replaced by a hard expression. Although previously I had seen her kind side when talking to others or her pure belief in TailRed, she was now fulfilling her duties as the student council president, with the expression of a person who stood over others.

“There was a thing which concerned me in the paperwork for a new club. I wanted to clarify that for myself before authorizing it thus I came down here to see for myself.”

“I’m sorry for making you do that.”

My tongue was all tangled, but I barely managed to squeeze out a voice.

“You wrote here that your club activities were researching and protecting twintails.”

“Of course.”

I could not gloss over that. With the most serious face I could manage, I looked at the president’s twintails and gave a reply.
People have told me that when talking to someone, looking in their eyes is a basic courtesy. However, when I am addressing someone’s twintails, I think that it is respectful to look at their twintails.

If I say something here she might think that this is a suspicious club, with an unusual name and weird activities. In other words this could be described as a crucial battle.

“Mitsuka-kun. Do you... like twintails?”

“I really like them.”

I answered straight away, so naturally that it felt no different to breathing. I don’t know whether my sincerity got through to her or not, but she followed up with another question.

“Why do you love twintails so much? And why to the extent you would set up a club for it.”

“Must there be a reason to love twintails?”

The moment I said that, I saw the president’s twintails tremble minutely.

I thought a person with such amazing twintails would understand, but... how should I say it. She made a complicated face and closed her mouth.

No... she might be testing me like this because she has such magnificent twintails.

A test to see whether I had the courage to voice my opinion in front of such radiant twintails.

I won’t lose, student council president. Look at me. Are these eyes the eyes of a liar?!

And look deep into my mind, where the world’s greatest twintails lives–

The fight between twintail and twintail ended with the president nodding in approval.

“Is that so... I understand.”

Conscious that there may be another area of concern, Aika asked a question.

“Is the activity content an issue?”

“No, there is no problem. A club which loves twintails will probably have some connection to supporting the Twintails.”

That is right. I would be lying if I said that if I had not used this to my advantage. As long as the entire school supports the Twintails, I calculated that a club focused on researching twintails would not be rejected.

“...oh my?”

The president looked straight at my right hand.

“Mitsuka-kun, even though this is a clubroom, flashy accessories are still prohibited under school regulations, you know?”

“...yes?!”

I tried to bury my right arm in my chest.

“A TailRed design. I see a lot of those lately.”

As I hear something more shocking, I cannot understand the situation.

As there have been a continuous stream of Twintails related merchandise recently, the same bracelet should not raise too many suspicions. But that is not the problem. When I looked at Aika almost by instinct, she had hidden her arm behind her back.

“Ojou-sama, it is time now.”

The president nodded at the words of the maid who had accompanied her.

“Alright. Well then, I hope that you do well as the Twintails Club.”

The president had probably spliced her already busy schedule in order to come here and with my mouth half-open, I waved her goodbye.

The maid looked at me and spoke.

“Sorry for taking your time. But your look back then was very good. I could feel your sincerity.”

“Th-thank you.”

The maid spoke like a knowledgeable teacher and followed the president out of the room.
It is nice to be complemented... but now is not the time for those kind of thoughts.

“Hey, hey... what is the meaning of this, Twoearle! You said that the Tailbrace was invisible to normal people before transforming!”

“It should be!”

She had said that thanks to the effects of the Imagine Chaff the bracelet itself was invisible to normal people and in reality, nobody had seen it, not even when I was changing for sport lessons.

“Could this be a weakness which Twoearle didn’t expect? For example, that the recognition modification effect is not as effective against people with the twintails attribute.”

“If she could see due to her twintails attribute, other students with that Elemera from TailRed’s influence should be able to see it too.”

“But the president’s Elemera is so strong that she was targeted several times by the Ultima Guil, right?”

Twoearle wanted to say something to counter that, but resigned.

“...I see. The recognition modification device is the most important thing in order to prevent major disturbances to your lifestyle. Just in case I will do some maintenance on your bracelets tonight.”

“Then I’ll leave it to you.”

I was sorry for Twoearle. Because I questioned her abilities. However I could not just ignore this. Depending on the situation this could have major consequences.

“I will take an especially close look at Aika’s one.”

“Why just my one? Is there a problem or something?”

“Yes. Looking at the fights up till now it seems that the defensive capabilities of your Tailgear is too strong. I think I will have to adjust it so that the breast part of it breaks off even with a slight pull, you know, like in an ecchi anime.”

“Why do you have to do something stupid like that!!”

“You are still worried that only TailBlue is unpopular. You might as well market yourself as the stripping character! Even though you have pitiful boobs which look like a paper tray on an inkjet printer, if you just show them there will be a slight possibility that you will gain some popularity among the more hardcore people!!”

“Oh, the Twoearlephone flew off!!”

“Gueri!”

The phone which had become like a ufo embedded itself in Twoearle’s face. Its propulsion was not some sort of magical energy but the force exerted by a human’s arm.

I hope I’m overthinking things... but something similar happened before. When I was talking about TailRed, I felt the president’s gaze on me and I could sense her mixed emotions...

Has president Shindou... started to suspect something about me-?!

〇

There are infinitely many ‘worlds’.

Not just countries, planets or galaxies.

There are countless parallel universes which contain all of the above.

It is not an easy concept to get your head around. This massive universe, which we have not even detected the boundary of, is only a tiny speck and several trillions of them are spread out in various gradations.

People do not know this.

That a remarkable similar world exists just on the other side of a thin wall. And that there are monsters which abuse this fact to repeatedly invade.

–Ultima Guil, invaders from another world. An organization made up of Elemerians, monsters who live off the power inside people’s minds, known as Elemera.

They were born in a different world where technology was advanced enough to the extent that people’s mental strength could be converted to energy. Eventually their numbers grew and formed an organization, centered around a great leader ruling over them.

The main goal of the Ultima Guil is to take all of the twintails Elemera from all the worlds. And for that they have a highly classified plan.

When they first invade they would purposely leak some of their overtechnology to the one with the strongest twintail Elemera as to create a warrior which would oppose them. When the powerful and inspirational guardian had planted the twintails Elemera in the other peoples of the world, they would come in at once and take all of the Elemera. This was their most practical and effective tactic, having conquered almost all of the worlds in this way.

However...

–TailRed.

The young female warrior with the strongest twintail Elemera overcame despair and fought valiantly to destroy the Ultima Guil’s dark plans.

They made two critical miscalculations. Firstly Twoearle, who had seen her own word fall to the very same practice, came before them to hand over technology to Mitsuka Souji.

Secondly, TailRed or Mitsuka Souji was completely obsessed with twintails.

The commander of the invasion force for this universe, Drag Guildy, was defeated in the final fight with TailRed without ever suspecting that his opponent was actually a boy, thus Souji thought that the invasions against his world was over.

However the Ultima Guil is an organization of immense size. Led by a one-of-a-kind leader there were several battalions, all conquering different worlds.

And a division was now gathering in Souji’s world–

The late Drag Guildy’s base.

In the grand conference room several Elemerians were sitting around with dark faces. Sparrow Guildy was present, a warrior with the mild air of a sparrow as well as incredible astuteness.

His shoulders sagged even further when he heard the reports of his subordinates who had just burst into the room.

“Sir, I have a report! Tiger Guildy-sama was defeated by the Twintails!”

“Damn... as I feared...”

Tiger Guildy, the ace of the school swinsuit attribute.

He was the commander of the first reinforcements which had joined this world’s unit, but was lacking in combat prowess in comparison to his sworn friend Drag Guildy; he was not a match for the Twintails in a head-to-head fight.

“He was captivated by their twintails... and could not execute his powers.”

“Furthermore it seems that TailRed’s clothing resembled a school swimsuit, leading him to defeat.”

A subordinate showed the footage of the fight which a combat drone had filmed on the screen of the conference room.

There, the image of Tiger Guildy lying down on his back in a position of defeat at TailRed’s feet was projected.

If this were a kitten the immense cuteness would make even the most hard-hearted smile, but the being pathetically sprawled on the floor had a muscular body and the face of a tiger.

On the screen, TailRed was backpedaling in fear.

『What.. what are you... lying down on your back... 』

『Young girl with such a radiant school swimsuit! I beg of you! Think of my stomach as the sea, and swim powerfully across it!』

『Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s a perveeeeeeeeert!!!』

TailRed was in despair, but behind TailBlue was spinning her spear, calm as if this was a common occurrence.

『This always happens!』

As soon as Tiger Guildy saw TailBlue’s rather skimpy outfit, he gave a blatant sign of disgust and cried out.

『Begone, you impure thing! Such a swimsuit with so little fabric, is merely toilet paper for a water closet in comparison to the magnificence of school swimsuits! Now apologize heartfully to this little girl!』

The projection showed TailBlue’s yakuza-like face and wide open eyes and ended there.

“...after this she inflicted a critical blow on Tiger Guildy without speaking... TailBlue is a ruthless and terrifying warrior.”

Having heard this report Sparrow Guildy grabbed at his own hair in frustration.

‘Even though I gained control of this unit from the dead Drag Guildy, I continue the conquest for twintails with burning passion!’ – Although this sounded nice, in truth he had partially given up.

The Twintails are too strong.

As he had been staff officer under Drag Guildy, acting as a close aide, he definitely knew of the true plan behind the invasion, spreading Elemera in order to increase efficiency.

Therefore when the commander and ultimate warrior Drag Guildy, who was supposed to deliver the final blow in the operation, had fallen, in reality his aide Sparrow Guildy and the whole unit collapsed.

The young underlings, unknowing of the true plan, were clamoring for revenge, but if this was to continue, this would all end truly in vain.

The commander of the reinforcements, Tiger Guildy, fell and only his subordinates were left. Sparrow Guildy now became the de facto leader of two units, but for him, who was unconfident in his fighting ability, the enemies were overpoweringly strong.

“This is, the price...”

Because up till now he had not bothered to train his men in order for efficiency only the commander was strong while the rest were incapable, giving the unit an unhealthy composition of masses of weaklings lead by one strong leader.

The other units were the same. Furthermore a heroic leader like Drag Guildy was hard to find even among other unit commanders.

So this is the limit... Must I persuade my men to withdraw from this world. The moment he thought these weak thoughts without realizing–

Another subordinate ran in quickly.

“Sparrow Guildy-sama! A new unit has arrived!”

“...so it seems, but the thing is...”

“It is Levia Guildy-sama’s unit!”

“OH?!”

Sparrow Guildy stood up without thinking.

Levia Guildy was a classmate of Drag Guildy. There was widely spread praise that his skills were equal to those of Drag Guildy’s too.

Another report came in to Sparrow Guildy, who had discovered a small hope.

“Krake Guildy-sama’s unit is also here!!”

“What did you just say?! Are you sure?!”

“Yes... I am sure.”

And Krake Guildy was a warrior who had a stubborn rivalry with Levia Guildy. His reputation spread after always achieving practical results on the battlefield, with little regard to the organization’s protocols.

“Hm, how can this be... There is nobody in the Ultima Guild senior command who do not know that the two see each other as rivals... And to put the two into the very same unit...”

Soon, a disturbance would spring up in this unit.

〇

Souji opened the door of the café, which was also his house, ringing the cowbell quietly.

“Mom, I’m back.”

“Welcome home Souji~”

My mother replied while frantically moving around the café.

“Oh?”

What in the world, apart from the counter all of the tables were full with customers! I shouldn’t really say this, but until now there had never been so many customers in the café (mostly thanks to the laxity of a certain owner). Recently, I feel that the number of patrons is growing. I should have just come in by the back door.

“Sorry, can you help me for a sec?”

“Oh, okay.”

As my mother would not be able to handle the workload I decided to help out.

“Yes mother! I will help as well!”

Twoearle set out as if it was obvious.

As this was not the first time Aika had lent a hand here, she was making preparations as soon as I had said that I would help.

“You’re fine! You might put something weird in a cup!!”

“I am perfectly ordinary when I am with anyone but you, Aika-san!”

“You’re extremely messed up when it comes to Souji!!”

I signaled the two bickering girls to calm down with a stare. Please, not in front of the normal customers.

“Thank you for your patience.”

Twoearle with her waitress apron send the ordered coffee to the patron’s table with an elegant movement, just like a figure skater.

Those voluptuous boobs raised the cloth up so that the apron was barely hiding her lower body... but as always, she was wearing her white gown.

“Your coffee is here.”

In a complete contrast Aika was putting down coffee on another table, speaking in a very professional tone.

Here, there was no excess strain on her apron, with a surface as flat as a tranquil lake.

My mother was looking at the two satisfied, spinning a coffee mill on the counter.

However... maybe it’s just me, but the atmosphere of this place feels odd.

Not due to the sudden appearance of waitresses, but... it’s due to the incongruousness of the patrons. I tried to stop it, but did Twoearle and Aika’s conversation annoy them?
As I was pondering my question a male customer vigorously opened the door and came in.

“Excuse me, master... water... and a newspaper... could you show me today’s newspaper?”

He was speaking as he went across to the counter to down the cup of cold water my mother had prepared for him.

He looked like a tired salaryman, with a creased suit, bent tie and unshaven face.

“...here...”

The man received with shaking hands the newspaper my mother had handed over.

“April... 25th... thank goodness, I’m back...”

Oh, wait.

What is this guy.

In surprise I looked around at the other customers but nobody took any notice. Only I... and Aika widened our eyes.

In front of the man who had barely put on a relaxed face, my mother gently put down a cup of coffee.

Hey, dear guest. What are you looking at?

“Master, I...”

My mother started speaking as if to show the man that she understood everything. For no apparent reason while cleaning a cup from the cupboard she said:

“...if you ever become lost in time, come to this place. In the past... present... future. The coffee here will always taste the same...”

“Thank you, master... I’ll be back. I need to, exist as myself...”

After he coolly put down a 10000 yen note on the counter, he seemed to fade away gradually into the light coming in from the open door.

That was fast. Only a minute. Why was he here?

“Mom... that guy seemed like you knew him... Are you friends or something?”

“Nope, never met him before.”

“Who is that guy!!”

He didn’t fade into the light but disappeared during the awkward and unknown atmosphere! After saying some really random things!

“You were speaking as if you knew what was going on!”

“I kinda know what sort of reply he wanted. I had similar conversations with your father every day.”

“What...”

No way... The source of incongruousness in the café was...

Trying to be as natural as possible, I looked around the patrons in the café. There was a gentleman with a fedora and tuxedo with a cup right in front of his face, enjoying the smell. If I said that his outfit looked like it had been coordinated to say ‘I tried my best at looking like a vampire’, would that be offensive?

“Only this aroma can suppress my insatiable bloodlust...”

That’s just coffee...

I want to give garlic pasta to that customer on the house.

I guess the man furiously typing away on a notebook is a writer.

“Fufu... okay, okay. Come on... just like that... YES! Alright! Phew, this is the first time I've been so nervous since loads of windows popped up when I went to a hentai site!”

He was speaking in a slightly over-the-top voice like the dub of a foreign movie, and clearly had finished something other than writing. Looking at his screen there were only countless letters arranged randomly.

But this was the result of his attack on some security system which only he could pull off.

Probably.

After looking at the samples, I realized that all of the patrons in the café were muttering something strange.

And sooo...

No, I knew of this already, but I felt that I should not accept this.

The incongruousness could be explained with the most common area of this puzzle.
I wrapped my head in resignation.

– this place has totally become a chuunibyou café!!

Twoearle smiled satisfied and explained in a low voice.

“You mother’s growing chuunibyou attribute seems to be the cause. People with the same Elemera are naturally attracted to those who are stronger.”

“Don’t say that... and although it won’t be true, never speak about her Elemera in front of my mom..!”

My mother must not know the fact that she has strong Elemera. Her Elemera must have grown loads after the formation of the Twintails..!

Although I can understand... as for both of us the situation we dreamed of became reality. But this is like all of the customers in a maid café wearing maid uniforms. Why are they all self-serving.

“I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m happy.”

“M-mom...”

My mother was looking at the café, which had turned into another world, with eyes overflowing with affection.

“Chuunibyou can easily be mistaken for something bad. But in reality isn’t it nicer and stronger than anything else? Because it is immersing yourself doing the things you love and enjoying youth to the fullest.”

Immersing yourself in the things you love.

That is –

“Not everyone can be passionate in their youth. Or sometimes you miss that when you become an adult. If I can help them find that passion when they are tired from work or everyday life, I’m happy.”

That is – that mind is the very thing the Twintails and I are trying to protect.

As expected this person... is my mother.

And I am her son.

“Did you just memorize that line?”

“Oh, the thing is... yeah.”

While I was warming up on the inside, my mother leant over the counter.

“So the next time you’re in great danger like when you were fighting Drag Guildy, think of those words! The words I said should inspire a counterattack to get out of a tight situations!”

“Just how is something like that going to happen! And your voice is too loud! And why have you memorized the enemies’ names! Now I can’t complain with just one sentence!!”

Well, with this chuunibyou atmosphere my identity won’t be leaked, but... This request is probably too hard.

“It was in a dream... where the main character pushed to the verge of death suddenly recalled my words, and then turned the battle around... Although in Souji’s story I’m the mother not the heroine...”

“Fine! I’ll just... think of it some time later!!”

“You have to do it when you’re about to die, right?”

“Stop hoping that your son will be on the brink of death!”

Twoearle was wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her gown in an obviously fake way.

“I’m so jealous... I grew up without ever knowing the warmth of family... Your conversation with Souji is so heartwarming...”

“Twoearle! You’re practically my daughter now! I’ll give you plenty of affection too!”

“Oh... Mother, your kind words have saved me!”

“But the thing is, it’s been over a month since you came here, but it looks like things haven’t been sorted out on your end yet. How come?”

“I have lost my honor. I try to attack every night, but the barbarian with both boobs and defense akin to an iron wall stops me every time...”

What do you mean by ‘things’. Exactly what.

I looked over at Aika who seemed to be strangely quiet. She was hard as rock, put off by the atmosphere in the café.

As expected it’s hard for someone without previous exposure to this kind of stuff...

I want to recommend a twintails café to Aika, where all of the attendants are wearing twintails.

I imagined such a paradise, which could one day be realized in this place too.

〇

The maid serving the Shindou family, Sakuragawa Mikoto let out a large sigh. She was looking at Shindou Erina, both the person she was supposed to protect and her master she was to serve with her mind and body, who was smiling while queuing by the counter.

It was early in the morning on a Saturday, yet in the toys section of a major shopping mall huge lines of customers holding waiting number tickets.

This was the weekend directly before Golden Week.

Toy manufacturers would forecast great demand and launch new products in a frenzy.
If something like a power-up item or a new robot comes out, a fierce scramble breaks out between the parents who have given in to their children’s nagging and devoted fans.
And by the way Erina came to this particular shopping mall, part of a national chain, in order to get an original freebie included in purchases, but there was no way that Mikoto would know this.

“She at least could leave the shopping to me...”

She muttered what she had repeatedly said to Erina.

And every time the same reply:

“I only get the attachment if I go and buy it myself.”

A maid like herself has no intention to challenge her master’s hobbies.

Rather, she was pleased that Erina could passionately devote herself to something to relieve her stress from being the student council president and the heir to the Shindou line. However after the Ultima Guil had appeared in this world, Erina had been abducted by them many times. Going out alone was dangerous.

It would be wrong to force her to stay inside 24/7, but Mikoto thought that at least her master could leave such petty things to others.

“Ojou-sama is an ardent fangirl of the Twintails after all...”

It was by no means surprising. After all, the heroes Erina had admired all along had appeared right in front of her. It deserved excitement.

She had an absolute belief that if she got in trouble the Twintails would come to her rescue. This led to complicated emotions on the part of Mikoto who was responsible for security, but it was true that TailRed had saved Erina every time.

However Mikoto was worried about something else.

“Maybe... ojou-sama... purposefully puts herself in danger looking to be rescued...”

Mikoto did not take her eyes of her master but skillfully looked at the males in the store. A herd of male university students in frivolous clothing. A dark-looking male in a suit. And even the little children asking for toys.

Although it had been a long time in the past since the phrase ‘optimal age of marriage’ was last considered to be relevant, everyone has worrisome thoughts about that from time to time.

28. Sakuragawa Mikoto, a feeling of the final battle –

People-watching was like a marriage preparation activity to someone like her, who wanted to get married as soon as they could. She looks for her future husband at all times.

Actually her work is the priority. The moment she heard something from her earphone, her expression returned to that of a professional.

『Chief maid! Escape immediately with ojou-sama!』

The desperate voice of a subordinate maid was heard and Mikoto ran out at once.

There was no need to ask what had happened.

By that point Erina had finished buying and was walking away from the counter.

“Ojou-sama!”

“Mikoto?”

Mikoto lifted up Erina in the princess position and ran straight towards the stairs without even looking at anything else. The escalator would be too slow. Thus –

“Ojou-sama, please take care not to bite your tongue!”

Although the weight was not much greater than a child’s, she jumped down the stairs in one go while holding a person.

Four times in total from the third floor, including the landing (you know, that flat bit in the middle of a stairwell where the stairs change direction). Showing superhuman strength, she ran immediately the moment she reached the first (ground) floor, without a pause to take a breath. She admirably demonstrated her physical capabilities.

When she squeezed out of the half-open automatic door into the parking lot... Mikoto clenched her teeth, knowing that she was a step too late,

“Damn, they’re here already..!”

The black and unsettling monsters she had seen many a time blocked her path, making weird noises.

“Moke!”

“Mokeke!”

And from behind, a monster which resembled a crab standing straight walked towards them slowly.

“Hm, this seems to be a young girl with significantly great potential... With such a strong twintails Elemera ‘that’ must also be superb!”

“Again! You monster!”

Twintails Elemera.

Nobody knows why, but the fact that these beasts were targeting Erina for her twintails is the undeniable truth.

In reality changing her hairstyle would be so much more safe and simple... but there is a reason that Shindou Erina is unable to do this.

She felt irritated.

“They call me Crab Guildy! An investigator vigorously dashing forward to spread to prosperity the beautiful nape Elemera, which coexists with the twintails Elemera!”

“Nape... What?! My nape?!”

This again. Those monsters always put such ignoble words in their mouth.

The other maids waiting outside ran towards here Mikoto was standing.

“Quickly take Erina-sama! I will stop him here!”

Mikoto handed over Erina to the others and stood in front of the monster.

“Hm, female of a motherly age. It seems you also have a good grounding in twintails!”

“Motherly age?! You monster!!”

Mikoto had twintails.

She had her thick and wavy hair into two bunches, from the top of her facing her back. The hair which flowed onto the back of her was done in twintails, symbolizing vigor.

As the monster had said the 28 year old Mikoto had various thoughts, but from the day she had made a vow to serve the Shindou family she had never changed her hairstyle.

When that was insulted, she could not restrain herself.

“You beast! That is not something a lowly being should say!”

She attacked decisively, spurred on by rage.

“You have attacked ojou-sama many a time; this will be the last! Never mind the Twintails, I will finish you all!”

A kick ruthlessly drove home into the monster’s body.

There are some who suggest that a maid’s uniform is only complete with a long skirt. But anyone could see that Mikoto, with a miniskirt and frills waving around as she launched powerful kicks in succession with her well-trained legs, was a professional maid.

A maid’s uniform customized to fight, to protect her master.

A work ethic harder than steel.

The very essence of being a maid was infused in her body.

The overpowering attacks continued. Just by looking at her kicks, it was obvious that this was no ordinary woman. Rather, these were techniques which would not seem out of place in an Olympic martial arts match.

However Crab Guildy was not affected.

Instead Mikoto fell down, grabbing her legs.

“Damn..! Why, why is this so hard?! It feels like its whole body is made out of metal!”

She had attacked not just the back of the crab-like monster but the weak points as well, yet the creature did not budge.

“Kyaa!”

The other maids were protecting Erina, but the combat drones grabbed her using brute force.

Actually Erina broke away slightly so that the other maids would not get injured.

“Ojou-sama! Run away!”

Mikoto was also captured by the combat drones while her attention was elsewhere and could not move.

“These things... how are they so strong when they look so thin! Ojou-sama...”

“It’s fine, Mikoto. Without fail... I’m sure that the person will come...”

Without a trace of doubt, Erina’s eyes were filled with hope.

‘Of course. Ojou-sama knows about –“

“Right, make them turn around!”

The combat drones grabbed Erina’s shoulders from both sides and turned her around 180 degrees with toddling steps.

Crab Guildy crossed his pincer arms and nodded in satisfaction.

“Wh-what are you looking at?!”

Erina asked, feeling rather uncomfortable.

“You nape! Listen carefully, it is obvious that the nape is visible with twintails! The beauty of each synergizes to shine even more brightly! I would like to spread this win-win relationship to many other comrades! And I would like to show this to you as well!”

“I have nothing to learn from you!”

Erina refused to take in these ridiculous words.

“Shut up! A man talks with his back, and a woman with her nape! To not understand the providence of nature, you must be immature in mind as well as appearance!!”

“What... I, I’m...”

Although she had kept a resolved composition, these words made Erina shake.

“You foul beast, insulting ojou-sama is unacceptable!”

“I have no interest in an old hag’s nape!! Go home and search for some wrinkle creams which actually work!”

As he hit her weak spot, Mikoto protested while blushing.

“I’m only 28! Stop joking! I’ll kill you!”

She was angrier than when her master had been captured.

“Now, I shall take your twintails Elemera!!”

Crab Guildy approached Erina with menacing footsteps.

“Ojou-sama! Damn...”

A combat drone lightly tapped Mikoto’s neck to knock her out.

“Mi, Mikoto... All because of me..!”

Erina hugged her newly bought hero toy and desperately got rid of the fear induced from the approaching footsteps.

There are heroes.

Erina knew that.

So what fills the mind is not fear, but belief –

“Elemera Orb – Rabbit!”

“Moke?!”

The combat drones which had been holding Erina’s shoulders flew away as if they had been flicked by a giant finger.

“Oh?”

Erina opened her eyes widely.

The successive kicks the blue warrior landed onto the combat drones using the jumping ability of the Elemera Orb were so fast that it looked like there were multiple copies of her. And –

“Blue, take care of that person!”

Right in front of Erina’s eyes.

Just like from a tv show – there was a small girl who defiantly stood in front of a monster.
I transformed into TailRed and rushed to the scene with Aika.

“Ahh... you came!”

As expected their primary objective was president Shindou...

This was the fourth time. As the president had a strong twintails attribute, she was totally the target of the Ultima Guil.

But I want to protect the president, who still has those elegant twintails. I must protect her.
So I will always come for you.

Although it’s a Saturday off, let’s begin the Twintails Club activities!

I knocked on my ribbon to take out the Blazer Blade and put that right in front of Crab Guildy’s eyes.

“So you’ve come, TailRed! Hahaha, amazing... Your strength, your beauty! It has already been spread beyond this world!”

“That’s nice to know! Then spread this as much as you can too! This world has the Twintails in... so you better give up your invasion!”

“What nonsense! How could I live without avenging Tiger Guildy-sama!”

“...by Tiger Guildy, do you mean that tiger guy we killed last time..?”

I was nervous about that guy because he was Drag Guildy’s friend, but Aika had destroyed him simply...

But then again, the thought that similar ability would lead to friendship was slightly questionable.

“Take this!”

I brought down the Blazer Blade right on the top of Crab Guildy’s head.

However there was no response.

To be precise Crab Guildy should have been split clean in half, but disappeared into thin air.

“Hm... it is an afterimage.”

“What?!”

I heard a voice from behind and turned around in surprise. Before I knew it he was behind me.

“This guy... is fast!”

“Of course. The speed I can go to someone’s back is faster than any of the other leaders.”

Crab Guildy thrust his head to my nape.

“Amazing! The hidden fertile land which supports beauty..! The ocean which brings life to the plains! The greatest twintails Elemera accompanies such a beautiful nape!!”

After coming to a strange conclusion on his own, tears fell like a waterfall. His clicking pincers seemed to convey feelings of celebration.

“A pervert with such great speed!”

I had fought many times against enemies who had swords but this crab felt more dangerous, as I felt that these pincers would be a threat to twintails.

I hurriedly swung my sword but Crab Guildy evaded once again and was behind me.

“It is an afterimage.”

“You pervert!”

“It is an afterimage.”

“Stop looking at my nape!!”

“It is an afterimage. And I will continue to look.”

Like a whirligig I repeatedly swung my blade only to find my opponent behind me. A battle which would have been quite funny for a spectator took place.

“Oh, this is pretty fun!!”

Aika was using the power of the Elemera Orb – Rabbit in her Elemetion to jump up and down to send combat drones flying. I could not count on her immediate support.

Just please don’t ‘accidentally’ attack any of the maids standing nearby...

『Souji-sama! Although his flanking speed is incredible, apart from that he’s just another Elemerian! Use his habit of going behind you against him!』

A transmission came in from Twoearle.

...right!
He’s just a first-grade pervert who’s honed his skill of quickly going behind people in order to look at the back of the neck. I’ll use that against him!

“Break Release!!!”

The Blazer Blade lengthened and split apart, breathing out a burning wind.

I pointed the extended sword upwards and swung it at Crab Guildy.

This first attack is bait –

“It is an afterimage.”

And then I pulled back the sword and slashed behind me in the place the first attack had cut through thin air. There were spheres of fire left over when the initial strike had missed.

“Aura Pillar!”

Flames came out at my voice, turning into a column-like shape and forming a barrier.

“What?!”

The activated Aura Pillar trapped Crab Guildy as he shouted loudly.

“Uahhhh! The nape! I can’t see the nape!”

“Grand Blazer –!!!!!”

The conflagrating blade of flames.

Crab Guildy would never stand behind me again, and would disappear in the fire.

“The nape synergizing with the twintails... beautiful...”

As much as I hate to say this, I learnt a lot from him about the mentality of supporting twintails to make it shine.

I retrieved the Elemera Orb – Nape and returned the Blazer Blade back into the ribbon. I walked over to the president, who had been watching the fight.

“Is the maid okay?”

“Yes. She is just unconscious.”

I was bewildered at the report I heard before I had arrived, but looking now there were no visible injuries. They never harm people. Even when people resisted they were knocked out, no more.

For these beings, which live off of mental energy... this could be called a sense of aesthetics. This is not indifferent to a sort of belief.

Although I can’t say that this will continue into the future.

However I can’t tell them not to wear twintails because it’s too dangerous. Because president Shindou will find out that her very self is dangerous.

It’s really sad that twintails have become dangerous. However... if this continues, never mind the other people, the president might think that based on the multiple attacks. Looking at my perturbed expression, the president smiled.

“You saved me again...”

Thanks to the smile and the elegant twintails I could shake off the weak thoughts.

“I know you must be scared as you have been subject to this stuff lots of times... but please do not despair. I will always protect you.”

“Yes. I am not scared. Because I believe.”

“As long as you love twintails, I will always come to rescue you.”

“Love... twintails...”

I say this every time I save someone, so she should remember this by now. Anyway it’s one of my set phrases, but every time the president hears this her face darkens.

Indeed, it feels like she did this from the start.

No, I don’t want to believe that.

The president said that she like heroes from children’s tv shows.

For a hero, phrases like that are quite important.

Maybe the nuance is off... should I change it about now? But I have to keep the twintails... then, what’s a good replacement for love... hm.

“Um...”

Aah. By the way the president’s twintails are so beautiful no matter how many times you look at them.

“...um, hello?”

“Yes. Oh, ah!”

Oh shit. As I was thinking of a good phrase, I was touching the president’s twintails. I quickly detached myself from her, who was almost cowering apologetically.

Still I was too friendly to her! If I stay around for too long someone might find out my true identity.

“S-sorry, president... till next time!”

I quickly left the area.

It looks like Aika had leisurely defeated the combat drones. Now it looked like she was playing on a trampoline.

“Blue, if you will!”

“So why do you always treat me like some transport aircraft. Why don’t you use your Elemera Orbs once in a while?”

Blue put away her bunny ears and used her Elemera Orb – Rabbit to change her ribbon parts into wings and grabbed my hand.

And like a jet plane she climbed rapidly and departed from the scene.

The president’s face the moment I left stayed in my mind even during flight. She had her eyes wide open in surprise and was muttering something. Was it because I had touched her twintails?

I looked at my guilty fingers.

I don’t know why, but it seemed that the president’s twintails were crying.