Anohana:Part 1 Chapter 2 - Revision history

FavonianFantasy: I'm quite sorry for accidentally splitting this into two edits, as I accidentally pressed enter, submitting the edit before I was done. The summary of the last edit still applies, so in essence, grammar and flow, with other miscellaneous corrections.

2018-07-21T01:16:15Z

I'm quite sorry for accidentally splitting this into two edits, as I accidentally pressed enter, submitting the edit before I was done. The summary of the last edit still applies, so in essence, grammar and flow, with other miscellaneous corrections.

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FavonianFantasy: This edit mostly dealt with punctuation. Some punctuation was added for grammar, and some was added for flow.

2018-07-21T00:03:53Z

This edit mostly dealt with punctuation. Some punctuation was added for grammar, and some was added for flow.

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:03, 21 July 2018
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	==Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer==		==Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer==

	It was so hot at the end of summer it felt suffocating. My messy bangs had grown too long, hitting against my eyelids. I had gone two days without showering and the sweat and oil in my hair irritated me so much that I had to put it up with a rubber band.		It was so hot at the end of summer that it felt suffocating. My messy bangs had grown too long, hitting against my eyelids. I had gone two days without showering, and the sweat and oil in my hair irritated me so much that I had to put it up with a rubber band.

	Delving into your mind’s world and battling with the present seven grave sins and the unknown eighth… I had used one hundred and fifty-six hours on this nonsense that seems to come from a video game for second year students in junior high. <!-- chuunibyou?-->		Delving into your mind’s world and battling with the present seven grave sins and the unknown eighth… I had used one hundred and fifty-six hours on this nonsense that seems to come from a video game for second year students in junior high. <!-- chuunibyou?-->

.poiu at 18:43, 20 October 2015

2015-10-20T18:43:45Z

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.poiu: /* Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer */m

2015-10-20T14:11:02Z

Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer: m

Ruby Halo at 15:02, 12 May 2015

2015-05-12T15:02:43Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:02, 12 May 2015
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	Three minutes. Give me three minutes and this will be done.		Three minutes. Give me three minutes and this will be done.

	Nevertheless, three minutes that seemed to fleet so fast when I play games seemed so long now.		Nevertheless, those three minutes that seemed to fleet so fast when I play games seemed so long now.

	Noodles. Please, I beg you to become cooked as quickly as possible—thus I started to pray impatiently. At this moment, the malfunctioning, tone-deaf doorbell speaker rang its out-of-tone ringtone		Noodles. Please, I beg you to become cooked as quickly as possible—thus I started to pray impatiently. At this moment, the malfunctioning, tone-deaf doorbell speaker rang its out-of-tone ringtone
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	"You should be ashamed of yourself."		"You should be ashamed of yourself."

	My blood rose and my ears became hot. What do you know!		My blood rose and my ears became hot. What do you know?

	I wanted to argue. I wanted to hurt her with ~~the most~~ sharp, impulsive words!		I wanted to argue. I wanted to hurt her with extremely sharp, impulsive words!

	“Eh, who’s there?		“Eh, who’s there?
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	“Heh. Busters! Though I don’t understand, it feels really cool!”		“Heh. Busters! Though I don’t understand, it feels really cool!”

	Yukiatsu was number two. Although his grade in music was better than me, he couldn’t catch me in all other criteria.		Yukiatsu was number two. Although his grade in music was better than me, he couldn’t catch up to me in all other criteria.

	“The word ‘super’ feels really strong…”		“The word ‘super’ feels really strong…”
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	“If we use this name, we will have to really safeguard peace seriously. Can everyone do it?”		“If we use this name, we will have to really safeguard peace seriously. Can everyone do it?”

	Anaru was abnormally serious and ~~does~~ things according to rules. For example, she would go sweep the secret base when no one told her so. She would even get angry when I wiped my nose with the collar of my jacket. She was exactly like the lady ~~of my neighbour~~.		Anaru was abnormally serious and did things according to rules. For example, she would go sweep the secret base when no one told her so. She would even get angry when I wiped my nose with the collar of my jacket. She was exactly like the lady nextdoor.

	“Mmmahh! It’s super cool! Jintan!”		“Mmmahh! It’s super cool! Jintan!”
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	Her grandfather seemed to be a foreigner, and she seemed to be a quarter mixed. Her soft milky hair looked like sunlight could penetrate it. If you smell closely, you might even smell faintly an unknown fragrance of flower from her…		Her grandfather seemed to be a foreigner, and she seemed to be a quarter mixed. Her soft milky hair looked like sunlight could penetrate it. If you smell closely, you might even smell faintly an unknown fragrance of flower from her…

	Every time I ~~hear~~ Menma’s voice, I would rush to her, showing off the coolest side of myself.		Every time I heard Menma’s voice, I would rush to her, showing off the coolest side of myself.

	Yes. As the captain, I had to run in front of everyone else. I could never trip and have an ugly side.		Yes. As the captain, I had to run in front of everyone else. I could never trip and have an ugly side.
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	Everything was peaceful as long as I hide in home; however, I couldn’t believe even in state there would be an intruder.		Everything was peaceful as long as I hide in home; however, I couldn’t believe even in state there would be an intruder.

	The place that could accommodate me had become narrower and narrower. My helplessness has grown to—If were invaded even here, then I had no place to escape. This is my last defense: I had to protect it.		The place that could accommodate me had become narrower and narrower. My helplessness has grown to—If I were invaded even here, then I had no place to escape. This is my last defense: I had to protect it.

	“Poo pooing? Hey, are you poo pooing?”		“Poo pooing? Hey, are you poo pooing?”
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	“Umm. I don’t know!”		“Umm. I don’t know!”

	How calm you sound. The tone of your voice sounded sounded exactly to gain pleasure from the situation I was stuck in.		How calm you sound. The tone of your voice sounded sounded exactly like you wanted to gain pleasure from the situation I was stuck in.

	“Ah. Jintan, come out!”		“Ah. Jintan, come out!”
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	Super Peace Busters.		Super Peace Busters.

	“Let’s first go ~~find~~ Anaru’s help! We didn’t make a good greeting just then…”		“Let’s first go get Anaru’s help! We didn’t make a good greeting just then…”

	I quickly interrupted her to stop her from saying anymore.		I quickly interrupted her to stop her from saying anymore.
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	“As you can see, she’s not the Anaru you know anymore.”		“As you can see, she’s not the Anaru you know anymore.”

	“Heheh? Isn’t Anaru Anaru?”		“Heheh? Isn’t Anaru, Anaru?”

	She looked to have grown older, yet she was still a child inside—completely the same. She didn’t even hear what I had been saying.		She looked to have grown older, yet she was still a child inside—completely the same. She didn’t even hear what I had been saying.
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	“No!”		“No!”

	I freaked out, looking at Menma. Her eyes with pale colors were welling with tears, like glass pearls filled with water from the ocean…		I freaked out looking at Menma. Her eyes with pale colors were welling with tears, like glass pearls filled with water from the ocean…

	“No… I hate Jintan who would say bad things about Anaru!”		“No… I hate Jintan who would say bad things about Anaru!”
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	Then Menma and also ‘the I back then’ could accept it.		Then Menma and also ‘the I back then’ could accept it.

	It wasn’t only Anaru that changed, every other thing also did.		It wasn’t only Anaru that had changed, every other thing also did.

	The heat outside was even of a higher level than that in my home.		The heat outside was even of a higher level than that in my home.
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	There was no need to be afraid. These guys had absolutely no menace to my life. That’s right, I don’t have a need to abstain from their sight. But this might be a bit bad for dad, as he had never reproached me who had been squandering life. But if I was attacked, I could only defend.		There was no need to be afraid. These guys had absolutely no menace to my life. That’s right, I don’t have a need to abstain from their sight. But this might be a bit bad for dad, as he had never reproached me who had been squandering life. But if I was attacked, I could only defend.

	I had completely used all my energy to fight off these small ~~potatoes~~.		I had completely used all my energy to fight off these small fries.

	“Eh? Jintan. Shouldn’t we head this side for Anaru’s home?”		“Eh? Jintan. Shouldn’t we head this side for Anaru’s home?”
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	However, this scene repeatedly appeared in my mind, no matter how I wanted to forget it. It was like I was the one that experienced it—even the smell of mosses and the touch of the soil were in my memories.		However, this scene repeatedly appeared in my mind, no matter how I wanted to forget it. It was like I was the one that experienced it—even the smell of mosses and the touch of the soil were in my memories.

	That day, I went home alone. Normally, I would still be together with everyone playing, but I got angry and ran away. When I think of it, that day I ate miso ramen instead of shio ramen. And from that day on I hadn’t eaten ~~any~~. But actually, I like miso ramen more than shio ramen.		That day, I went home alone. Normally, I would still be together with everyone playing, but I got angry and ran away. When I think of it, that day I ate miso ramen instead of shio ramen. And from that day on I hadn’t eaten it anymore. But actually, I like miso ramen more than shio ramen.

	My dad’s car was parked at the door. He potently swung the door open. I felt a sense of aberrance. He opened the door in a flurry. Incoherent sounds of footsteps and the expanding aberrance added together.		My dad’s car was parked at the door. He potently swung the door open. I felt a sense of aberrance. He opened the door in a flurry. Incoherent sounds of footsteps and the expanding aberrance added together.
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	Noticing the subtle atmosphere around us, Menma who had been shouting in joy just now had calmed down and looked at me worryingly.		Noticing the subtle atmosphere around us, Menma who had been shouting in joy just now had calmed down and looked at me worryingly.

	“Having entered the worst school here and became a shut-in at last ~~who~~ would only call Honma Meiko’s name. Have you gone nuts?”		“Having entered the worst school here and became a shut-in and at last would only call Honma Meiko’s name. Have you gone nuts?”

	“Matsuyuki, stop saying it… Ah!”		“Matsuyuki, stop saying it… Ah!”
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	I heaved a sigh and lay flat down.		I heaved a sigh and lay flat down.

	Entering my eyes was the prizes hanging on the wall of the room: calligraphy exhibition, endurance running, writing competition… this was the graveyard of my past glories.		Entering the sight of my eyes was the prizes hanging on the wall of the room: calligraphy exhibition, endurance running, writing competition… this was the graveyard of my past glories.

	Why—why ~~would~~ I become like this?		Why—why did I become like this?

	I flunked my examinations and entered an annoying high school… No, these things don't really matter. These weren’t the real cause.		I flunked my examinations and entered an annoying high school… No, these things don't really matter. These weren’t the real cause.
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	“Tell the truth. Super Peace Busters should not hide things from each other.”		“Tell the truth. Super Peace Busters should not hide things from each other.”

	Yukiatsu ~~forced~~ me with a serious face.		Yukiatsu told me with a serious face.

	“Tell, tell… tell, tell?”		“Tell, tell… tell, tell?”
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	At the instant I clung my shoes, the door opened. Dad had got off work and returned.		At the instant I clung my shoes, the door opened. Dad had got off work and returned.

	“Ah. Eh. ~~Jinta~~, where are you going?”		“Ah. Eh. Jintan, where are you going?”

	“Just for a round!”		“Just for a round!”

Cthaeh: Reverted edits by Katherineshu3456 (talk) to last revision by Cthaeh

2015-03-27T00:04:31Z

Reverted edits by Katherineshu3456 (talk) to last revision by Cthaeh

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Katherineshu3456: /* Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer */

2015-03-26T21:10:46Z

Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer

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Katherineshu3456: /* Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer */

2015-03-26T21:06:50Z

Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer

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Cthaeh: Reverted edits by Katherineshu4325 (talk) to last revision by LionFosset

2015-03-15T17:02:53Z

Reverted edits by Katherineshu4325 (talk) to last revision by LionFosset

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Katherineshu4325: /* Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer */

2015-03-15T16:58:16Z

Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer

@@ Line 643: / Line 643: @@
 Menma didn’t come to chase me.
 Dad should come back for a moment, and then go to the hospital to visit mum. Placed on the short table of a house shone by the setting sun was a bag with miso ramen. Beaten eggs were chopped onions put in a big bowl wrapped over with a preservative film. Using these to deal with my dinner, yet paying much attention to the details—it had the style of my dad.
@@ Line 737: / Line 653: @@
 Tomorrow, I would suddenly jump at Menma from behind and bind her neck with my arms. She certainly would fall down, and then at this time I would get a hold of her steadily to prevent her from falling down. Let me pull such a prank.
 The Super Peace Busters.
@@ Line 769: / Line 676: @@
 Jintan.
 At the instant I clung my shoes, the door opened. Dad had got off work and returned.
@@ Line 793: / Line 691: @@
 Compared to the dashing speed and the pleasure of fighting with wind my mind created, the real me was worn off quite soon, my legs becoming soft, about to collapse. After that, I couldn’t stop myself from screaming out, “If I were to trip, I would rather fly away!”
 <noinclude>

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:11, 20 October 2015
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	Most likely I had been too hungry.		Most likely I had been too hungry.

	To have a gap induced from boredom and hunger is unacceptable, for it will allow unnecessary feelings to squeeze ~~itself~~ into it against my will.		To have a gap induced from boredom and hunger is unacceptable, for it will allow unnecessary feelings to squeeze themselves into it against my will.

	At these times, one has to be decisive and swiftly fill this gap.		At these times, one has to be decisive and swiftly fill this gap.
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	I went into the kitchen next to the living room and lit up the matchsticks inside. The connecting points on the gas stove seemed to have a poor contact. I ignited it by throwing some ashes into the place where the gasoline had flown, and a loud boom was heard.		I went into the kitchen next to the living room and lit up the matchsticks inside. The connecting points on the gas stove seemed to have a poor contact. I ignited it by throwing some ashes into the place where the gasoline had flown, and a loud boom was heard.

	I like Shio ramen. Having waited for the water to boil, I meticulously threw an egg inside so it ~~won’t~~ be stirred.		I like Shio ramen. Having waited for the water to boil, I meticulously threw an egg inside so it wouldn't be stirred.

	“Ah, I want the eggs stirred! I want egg flakes!”		“Ah, I want the eggs stirred! I want egg flakes!”
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	Three minutes. Give me three minutes and this will be done.		Three minutes. Give me three minutes and this will be done.

	Nevertheless, those three minutes that seemed to ~~fleet~~ so fast when I play games seemed so long now.		Nevertheless, those three minutes that seemed to flee so fast when I play games seemed so long now.

	Noodles. Please, I beg you to become cooked as quickly as possible—thus I started to pray impatiently. At this moment, the malfunctioning, tone-deaf doorbell speaker rang its out-of-tone ringtone		Noodles. Please, I beg you to become cooked as quickly as possible—thus I started to pray impatiently. At this moment, the malfunctioning, tone-deaf doorbell speaker rang its out-of-tone ringtone
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	“…”		“…”

	I would never open the door during my dad’s working hours, no matter how many times the bell had rung. This was what I usually do.		I would never open the door during my dad’s working hours, no matter how many times the bell had rung. This was what I usually did.

	However, the things that human beings can neglect simultaneously are finite. Perhaps this ringtone was a godsend to help me.		However, the things that human beings can neglect simultaneously are finite. Perhaps this ringtone was a godsend to help me.
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	We were the ‘Super Peace Busters’.		We were the ‘Super Peace Busters’.

	‘Busters’ was a word we just knew and we just remembered, which ~~seems~~ to mean strong people. We had to safeguard peace and punish evil. With this sublime wish, we gave ourselves this name.		‘Busters’ was a word we just knew and we just remembered, which seemed to mean strong people. We had to safeguard peace and punish evil. With this sublime wish, we gave ourselves this name.

	Of course, the first one to propose it was I, the captain.		Of course, the first one to propose it was I, the captain.
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	“The word ‘super’ feels really strong…”		“The word ‘super’ feels really strong…”

	Tsuruko was a girl who did things at her own pace. She was pretty good at drawing, though, she always drew ~~princess~~ or fairies. If only she could draw something else, then it would be a nice décor to hang on the wall of our secret base.		Tsuruko was a girl who did things at her own pace. She was pretty good at drawing, though, she always drew princesses or fairies. If only she could draw something else, then it would be a nice décor to hang on the wall of our secret base.

	“If we use this name, we will have to really safeguard peace seriously. Can everyone do it?”		“If we use this name, we will have to really safeguard peace seriously. Can everyone do it?”

	Anaru was abnormally serious and did things according to rules. For example, she would go sweep the secret base when no one told her so. She would even get angry when I wiped my nose with the collar of my jacket. She was exactly like the lady ~~nextdoor~~.		Anaru was abnormally serious and did things according to rules. For example, she would go sweep the secret base when no one told her so. She would even get angry when I wiped my nose with the collar of my jacket. She was exactly like the lady next door.

	“Mmmahh! It’s super cool! Jintan!”		“Mmmahh! It’s super cool! Jintan!”
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	A few months back then, when I entered high school for not even a week, I escaped outside and ran back home.		A few months back then, when I entered high school for not even a week, I escaped outside and ran back home.

	Everything was peaceful as long as I ~~hide in~~ home; however, I couldn’t believe even in state there would be an intruder.		Everything was peaceful as long as I hid at home; however, I couldn’t believe even in this state there would be an intruder.

	The place that could accommodate me had become narrower and narrower. My helplessness has grown to—If I were invaded even here, then I had no place to escape. This is my last defense: I had to protect it.		The place that could accommodate me had become narrower and narrower. My helplessness has grown to—If I were invaded even here, then I had no place to escape. This is my last defense: I had to protect it.
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	“Umm. I don’t know!”		“Umm. I don’t know!”

	How calm you sound. The tone of your voice ~~sounded~~ sounded exactly like you wanted to gain pleasure from the situation I was stuck in.		How calm you sound. The tone of your voice sounded exactly like you wanted to gain pleasure from the situation I was stuck in.

	“Ah. Jintan, come out!”		“Ah. Jintan, come out!”