Dantalian no Shoka:Volume1 Chapter4 - Revision history

Ssj6piccolo: space in header

2012-01-23T12:00:15Z

space in header

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:00, 23 January 2012
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	==Special Chapter 1 - The Book of Dictators<br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-size: .8em">Talisman of Despot</span>==		==Special Chapter 1 - The Book of Dictators <br><span style="font-style: italic; font-size: .8em">Talisman of Despot</span>==
	~~__NOTOC__~~

	He was a serious student.		He was a serious student.

Unkani: Grammar and awkwardness fixes

2011-08-13T20:30:58Z

Grammar and awkwardness fixes

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:30, 13 August 2011
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	Although still young, he was grieving over the future of his country more earnestly than everyone else.		Although still young, he was grieving over the future of his country more earnestly than everyone else.

	But the more he thought ~~earnestly~~, the ~~darker~~ and ~~hopeless appeared~~ the future of his country to him.		But the more earnestly he thought, the more hopeless and dark the future of his country appeared to him.

	The resources were sparse in his country and ~~the~~ daily life was hard to overcome.		The resources were sparse in his country and daily life was hard to overcome.

	The cities were crowded with adults ~~that failed getting a job~~ and the ~~criminal~~ rate was constantly growing.		The cities were crowded with adults who fail to get jobs and the crime rate was constantly growing.

	Bordering countries were threatening his country with their military strength because of the land.		Bordering countries were threatening his country with their military strength because of the land.

	In the end he lost all hope and began to live a vapid, ephemeral life.		In the end, he lost all hope and began to live a vapid, ephemeral life.

	Then one day he came across a little girl.		Then one day, he came across a little girl.

	She ~~has~~ a beautiful appearance.		She had a beautiful appearance.

	Faint green hair resembling emerald.		Faint green hair resembling an emerald.

	White skin resembling marbles, almost translucent.		White skin resembling marbles, almost translucent.
Line 26:		Line 26:
	Countless frills and laces were stuffed into her deep crimson colored dress, similar to the color of blood. Out of the gaps between them, gauntlets as well as a breast plate could be seen.		Countless frills and laces were stuffed into her deep crimson colored dress, similar to the color of blood. Out of the gaps between them, gauntlets as well as a breast plate could be seen.

	The right eye of the girl was colored in the same emerald-green as her hair, while her left eye was covered by a metal eye patch shimmering in dark gray.		The right eye of the girl was colored in the same emerald-green as her hair, while her left eye was covered by a metal eye patch shimmering with a dark gray lustre.

	There was a big keyhole in the midst of her eye patch that resembled an old lock---		There was a big keyhole in the midst of her eye patch that resembled an old lock---
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	The girl asked back, why he would think that.		The girl asked back, why he would think that.

	"You see, the politicians are incompetent and the bureaucracy is on the ladder way, corroded by corruption and bribery. The people are not thinking of anything ~~else~~ than to stand in the way of each other. I'm telling you, there's no hope for this country, as long those guys are running it!"		"You see, the politicians are incompetent and the bureaucracy is on the ladder way, corroded by corruption and bribery. The people are not thinking of anything other than to stand in the way of each other. I'm telling you, there's no hope for this country, as long those guys are running it!"

	He sorrowfully answered with those words.		He sorrowfully answered with those words.

	How idiotic!, the girl said.		"How idiotic!" the girl said.

	"If you say the current rulers are incompetent, then just try running the country yourself."		"If you say the current rulers are incompetent, then just try running the country yourself."
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	After a short consideration, he shook his head weakly.		After a short consideration, he shook his head weakly.

	"That won't work. Even if I'd try to improve ~~the~~ politics on my own, another politician would get in my way. I'm sure."		"That won't work. Even if I'd try to improve politics on my own, another politician would get in my way. I'm sure."

	How idiotic!, the girl laughed.		"How idiotic!" the girl laughed.

	"Then just become the most powerful politician throughout the country! After that, just capture and kill anyone hostile to you."		"Then just become the most powerful politician throughout the country! After that, just capture and kill anyone hostile to you."
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	Before other countries could threaten his country, he started a war against them.		Before other countries could threaten his country, he started a war against them.

	His ~~politics was~~ supported by the citizens with wild enthusiasm. The citizens ~~that weren~~'t ~~supporting his politics~~ were captured without mercy and then sent to prison.		His policies were supported by the citizens with wild enthusiasm. The citizens who didn't were captured without mercy and then sent to prison.

	He was praised by his comrades in the government. The politicians ~~that~~ didn't praise him were captured without mercy and then sent into exile to a foreign country.		He was praised by his comrades in the government. The politicians who didn't praise him were also captured without mercy and then sent into exile to a foreign country.

	And so he had become an imposing dictator.		And so, he had become an imposing dictator.

	But for some reason he was holding a book in his hands all the time.		But for some reason, he was holding a book in his hands all the time.


	There were many enemies to the dictator.		There were many enemies of the dictator.

	Politicians ~~that~~ were bereft ~~their~~ social status by him. The relatives of the nobles ~~that~~ were executed by him. The people ~~that~~ lost their families or friends during the wars he started. And not to forget the citizens of the other countries, ~~that were despising~~ his country---		Politicians who were bereft of social status because of him. The relatives of the nobles who were executed by him. The people who lost their families or friends during the wars he started. And not to forget the citizens of the other countries, who despised his country---

	The ones hostile to him became rebels and tried to take his life in various ways.		The ones hostile to him became rebels and tried to take his life in various ways.

	They tried to mix poison into his food or planned a bomb attack on him. Sometimes they acted as ~~ally~~ for a while just to assassinate him using a blade, bow or gun.　There even were some people that tried to form a rebel army or ones that instructed a famous spell caster to curse him.		They tried to mix poison into his food or planned a bomb attack on him. Sometimes they acted as allies for a while just to try and assassinate him using a blade, bow or gun.　There even were some people that tried to form a rebel army or ones that instructed a famous spell caster to curse him.

	However, every attempt proved to be a failure.		However, every attempt proved to be a failure.
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	No matter how skilled the assassin, the dictator wasn't even wounded.		No matter how skilled the assassin, the dictator wasn't even wounded.

	His enemies were captured one after the other and then either sent into exile to a foreign country or publicly executed on a plaza. The number of rebels opposing him was ~~on a constant decline~~.		His enemies were captured one after the other and then either sent into exile to a foreign country or publicly executed on a plaza. The number of rebels opposing him was constantly declining.

	Again some years passed, until the dictator finally was able to capture the last rebel.		Again, some years passed, until the dictator finally was able to capture the last rebel.

	He decided for a public execution of the rebel as warning to the citizens.		He decided for a public execution of the rebel as warning to the citizens.

	And so he announced to all the people gathered at the wide plaza.		And so, he announced to all the people gathered at the wide plaza that this would be the last rebel and no one would ever oppose him anymore.

	~~That~~ this would be the last rebel and no one would ever oppose him anymore.

	~~"And that's why,~~

	~~I'm no longer a dictator, but the true king of this country." he continued~~.

			"And that's why, I'm no longer a dictator, but the true king of this country." he continued.

	Moments later, a guard stationed at the plaza suddenly shot him with a gun.		Moments later, a guard stationed at the plaza suddenly shot him with a gun.

	The guard wasn't a citizen of his land, but an assassin from a foreign country that mixed up with the crowd.		The guard wasn't a citizen of his land, but an assassin from a foreign country that mixed in with the crowd.

	As one could think, the ~~shot~~ man was holding an old book.		As one could think, the targeted man was holding an old book.

	But the book didn't protect him, '''who stopped being a dictator''', anymore.		But the book didn't protect him, '''who stopped being a dictator''', anymore.
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	"This incompetent politician finally bit the dust. Now this country is alright."		"This incompetent politician finally bit the dust. Now this country is alright."

	A little girl wearing a dress colored in deep crimson laughed amused on hearing this.		A little girl wearing a dress colored in deep crimson laughed, amused upon hearing this.

	How idiotic!, the girl laughed.		How idiotic!, the girl laughed.

	At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all smiled full of hope.		At last, she got going and disappeared into the crowd of people who all smiled, full of hope.

	<noinclude>		<noinclude>
	{{Dantalian no Shoka Nav\|prev=Dantalian no Shoka:Volume1 Chapter3\|next=Dantalian no Shoka:Volume1 Chapter5}}		{{Dantalian no Shoka Nav\|prev=Dantalian no Shoka:Volume1 Chapter3\|next=Dantalian no Shoka:Volume1 Chapter5}}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

Zero2001: A gift

2011-07-28T21:54:29Z

A gift

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:54, 28 July 2011
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	At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all smiled full of hope.		At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all smiled full of hope.



	<noinclude>		<noinclude>
	{\| ~~border~~=~~"1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse~~: ~~collapse;"~~		{{Dantalian no Shoka Nav\|prev=Dantalian no Shoka:Volume1 Chapter3\|next=Dantalian no Shoka:Volume1 Chapter5}}
	\|-
	~~\| Return to [[Dantalian_no_Shoka\|Main Page]]~~
	~~\| Forward to [[Dantalian_no_Shoka~~:~~Volume1_Chapter5\|Chapter 4]]~~
	\|-
	\|}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

EusthEnoptEron at 21:34, 17 July 2011

2011-07-17T21:34:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:34, 17 July 2011
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	But the more he thought earnestly, the darker and hopeless appeared the future of his country to him.		But the more he thought earnestly, the darker and hopeless appeared the future of his country to him.

	The resources were ~~sparce~~ in his country and the daily life was hard to overcome.		The resources were sparse in his country and the daily life was hard to overcome.

	The cities were crowded with adults that failed getting a job and the criminal rate was constantly growing.		The cities were crowded with adults that failed getting a job and the criminal rate was constantly growing.

EusthEnoptEron: /* Special Chapter 1 - The Book of DictatorsTalisman of Despot */

2010-12-25T10:48:29Z

Special Chapter 1 - The Book of DictatorsTalisman of Despot

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:48, 25 December 2010
Line 153:		Line 153:

	At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all smiled full of hope.		At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all smiled full of hope.



			<noinclude>
			{\| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
			\|-
			\| Return to [[Dantalian_no_Shoka\|Main Page]]
			\| Forward to [[Dantalian_no_Shoka:Volume1_Chapter5\|Chapter 4]]
			\|-
			\|}
			</noinclude>

EusthEnoptEron at 20:04, 4 August 2010

2010-08-04T20:04:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:04, 4 August 2010
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			==Special Chapter 1 - The Book of Dictators<br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-size: .8em">Talisman of Despot</span>==
			__NOTOC__

	He was a serious student.		He was a serious student.

Akuma-Heika: Proper english grammar: changing spare to sparce

2010-06-10T15:45:09Z

Proper english grammar: changing spare to sparce

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:45, 10 June 2010
Line 5:		Line 5:
	But the more he thought earnestly, the darker and hopeless appeared the future of his country to him.		But the more he thought earnestly, the darker and hopeless appeared the future of his country to him.

	The resources were ~~spare~~ in his country and the daily life was hard to overcome.		The resources were sparce in his country and the daily life was hard to overcome.

	The cities were crowded with adults that failed getting a job and the criminal rate was constantly growing.		The cities were crowded with adults that failed getting a job and the criminal rate was constantly growing.

Saganatsu at 08:36, 26 January 2010

2010-01-26T08:36:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:36, 26 January 2010
Line 100:		Line 100:
	And so he had become an imposing dictator.		And so he had become an imposing dictator.

	But for some reason he was holding book in his hands all the time.		But for some reason he was holding a book in his hands all the time.

EusthEnoptEron: Fixed some obvious missspellings

2010-01-23T10:25:31Z

Fixed some obvious missspellings

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:25, 23 January 2010
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	She has a beautiful appearance.		She has a beautiful appearance.

	Faint green ~~hairs similar to~~ emerald.		Faint green hair resembling emerald.

	White skin ~~similar to~~ marbles, almost translucent.		White skin resembling marbles, almost translucent.

	Countless frills and laces were stuffed into her deep crimson colored dress, similar to the color of blood. Out of the gaps between them, gauntlets as well as a breast plate could be seen.		Countless frills and laces were stuffed into her deep crimson colored dress, similar to the color of blood. Out of the gaps between them, gauntlets as well as a breast plate could be seen.
Line 25:		Line 25:
	The right eye of the girl was colored in the same emerald-green as her hair, while her left eye was covered by a metal eye patch shimmering in dark gray.		The right eye of the girl was colored in the same emerald-green as her hair, while her left eye was covered by a metal eye patch shimmering in dark gray.

	There was a big keyhole in the midst of her eye patch, that resembled an old lock---		There was a big keyhole in the midst of her eye patch that resembled an old lock---


Line 32:		Line 32:
	The girl asked back, why he would think that.		The girl asked back, why he would think that.

	"You see, the politicians are incompetent and the bureaucracy is on the ~~ladderway~~, corroded by corruption and bribery. The people are not thinking of anything else than to stand in the way of each other. I'm telling you, there's no hope for this country, as long those guys are running it!"		"You see, the politicians are incompetent and the bureaucracy is on the ladder way, corroded by corruption and bribery. The people are not thinking of anything else than to stand in the way of each other. I'm telling you, there's no hope for this country, as long those guys are running it!"

	He sorrowfully answered with those words.		He sorrowfully answered with those words.
Line 42:		Line 42:
	The man was taken aback and asked her:		The man was taken aback and asked her:

	"Are you telling me to become a ~~politican~~?"		"Are you telling me to become a politician?"

	"Right! You're thinking more earnestly about the future of this country than anyone else, aren't you? Then you're supposed to rule it."		"Right! You're thinking more earnestly about the future of this country than anyone else, aren't you? Then you're supposed to rule it."
Line 52:		Line 52:
	How idiotic!, the girl laughed.		How idiotic!, the girl laughed.

	"Then just become the most powerful politician throughout the country! After that just capture and kill anyone hostile to you."		"Then just become the most powerful politician throughout the country! After that, just capture and kill anyone hostile to you."

	The man was taken aback and asked:		The man was taken aback and asked:
Line 105:		Line 105:
	There were many enemies to the dictator.		There were many enemies to the dictator.

	Politicians that were bereft their social status by him. The ~~noble families~~ of the ~~people~~ executed by him. The people that lost their families or friends ~~due to~~ the wars he started. And not ~~forgetting~~ the citizens of the other countries, that were despising his country---		Politicians that were bereft their social status by him. The relatives of the nobles that were executed by him. The people that lost their families or friends during the wars he started. And not to forget the citizens of the other countries, that were despising his country---

	The ones hostile to him became rebels and tried to take his life in various ways.		The ones hostile to him became rebels and tried to take his life in various ways.

	They tried to mix poison into his food or planned a bomb attack on him. Sometimes they acted as ally for a while just to ~~assissinate~~ him using a blade, bow or gun.　There even were some people that tried to form a rebel army or ones that instructed a famous ~~spellcaster~~ to curse him.		They tried to mix poison into his food or planned a bomb attack on him. Sometimes they acted as ally for a while just to assassinate him using a blade, bow or gun.　There even were some people that tried to form a rebel army or ones that instructed a famous spell caster to curse him.

	However, every attempt proved to be a failure.		However, every attempt proved to be a failure.
Line 115:		Line 115:
	No matter how skilled the assassin, the dictator wasn't even wounded.		No matter how skilled the assassin, the dictator wasn't even wounded.

	His enemies were captured one after the other and then either sent into exile to a foreign country or publicly executed on a plaza. The number of rebels ~~oppositing~~ him was on a constant decline.		His enemies were captured one after the other and then either sent into exile to a foreign country or publicly executed on a plaza. The number of rebels opposing him was on a constant decline.

	Again some years passed, until the dictator finally was able to capture the last rebel.		Again some years passed, until the dictator finally was able to capture the last rebel.
Line 121:		Line 121:
	He decided for a public execution of the rebel as warning to the citizens.		He decided for a public execution of the rebel as warning to the citizens.

	And so he announced to all the ~~pople~~ gathered at the wide plaza.		And so he announced to all the people gathered at the wide plaza.

	That this is the last rebel, and no one ~~will~~ oppose him anymore.		That this would be the last rebel and no one would ever oppose him anymore.

	"And that's why,		"And that's why,
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	The man who once was a dictator was shot by an assassin and died.		The man who once was a dictator was shot by an assassin and died.

	The people that ~~heared~~ this message told each other:		The people that heard this message told each other:

	"This incompetent politician finally bit the dust. Now this country is alright."		"This incompetent politician finally bit the dust. Now this country is alright."
Line 149:		Line 149:
	How idiotic!, the girl laughed.		How idiotic!, the girl laughed.

	At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all ~~had~~ hope ~~written on their faces~~.		At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all smiled full of hope.

EusthEnoptEron: New page: He was a serious student. Although still young, he was grieving over the future of his country more earnestly than everyone else. But the more he thought earnestly, the darker and hopele...

2009-12-14T14:32:14Z

New page: He was a serious student. Although still young, he was grieving over the future of his country more earnestly than everyone else. But the more he thought earnestly, the darker and hopele...

New page

He was a serious student.

Although still young, he was grieving over the future of his country more earnestly than everyone else.

But the more he thought earnestly, the darker and hopeless appeared the future of his country to him.

The resources were spare in his country and the daily life was hard to overcome.

The cities were crowded with adults that failed getting a job and the criminal rate was constantly growing.

Bordering countries were threatening his country with their military strength because of the land.

In the end he lost all hope and began to live a vapid, ephemeral life.

Then one day he came across a little girl.

She has a beautiful appearance.

Faint green hairs similar to emerald.

White skin similar to marbles, almost translucent.

Countless frills and laces were stuffed into her deep crimson colored dress, similar to the color of blood. Out of the gaps between them, gauntlets as well as a breast plate could be seen.

The right eye of the girl was colored in the same emerald-green as her hair, while her left eye was covered by a metal eye patch shimmering in dark gray.

There was a big keyhole in the midst of her eye patch, that resembled an old lock---

"It might be too late for this country, huh?" the man said with a tired voice to her.

The girl asked back, why he would think that.

"You see, the politicians are incompetent and the bureaucracy is on the ladderway, corroded by corruption and bribery. The people are not thinking of anything else than to stand in the way of each other. I'm telling you, there's no hope for this country, as long those guys are running it!"

He sorrowfully answered with those words.

How idiotic!, the girl said.

"If you say the current rulers are incompetent, then just try running the country yourself."

The man was taken aback and asked her:

"Are you telling me to become a politican?"

"Right! You're thinking more earnestly about the future of this country than anyone else, aren't you? Then you're supposed to rule it."

After a short consideration, he shook his head weakly.

"That won't work. Even if I'd try to improve the politics on my own, another politician would get in my way. I'm sure."

How idiotic!, the girl laughed.

"Then just become the most powerful politician throughout the country! After that just capture and kill anyone hostile to you."

The man was taken aback and asked:

"Are you telling me to become a dictator?"

"Right! All other politicians are incompetent and corrupted, aren't they? Then you're supposed to rule this country on your own."

After a short consideration, he shook his head weakly.

"That won't work. Even if I'd try to rule this country on my own, another politician would assassinate me. I'm sure."

The girl, however, showed a brilliant smile.

"Oh no, it will work. It will. You were chosen by this phantom book after all."

She presented to him a book.

It was an old book written in the language of a country that was destroyed ages ago.

The man accepted the book and looked at it with a wondering face.

The girl explained to him:

"It's a book made for dictators. As long you're conforming to what's written in it, nobody will be able to injure you."

"I see. That sure is splendid."

He believed in what she had said.

And then those two went their own ways.

A few years later, a young politician appeared in this country.

He was a politician that was thinking more earnestly about the future of his country than anyone else.

In order to gain resources, he invaded other countries and gave wealth to the people.

He made the jobless adults join the army and punished all criminals without exception with the death penalty.

Before other countries could threaten his country, he started a war against them.

His politics was supported by the citizens with wild enthusiasm. The citizens that weren't supporting his politics were captured without mercy and then sent to prison.

He was praised by his comrades in the government. The politicians that didn't praise him were captured without mercy and then sent into exile to a foreign country.

And so he had become an imposing dictator.

But for some reason he was holding book in his hands all the time.

There were many enemies to the dictator.

Politicians that were bereft their social status by him. The noble families of the people executed by him. The people that lost their families or friends due to the wars he started. And not forgetting the citizens of the other countries, that were despising his country---

The ones hostile to him became rebels and tried to take his life in various ways.

They tried to mix poison into his food or planned a bomb attack on him. Sometimes they acted as ally for a while just to assissinate him using a blade, bow or gun.　There even were some people that tried to form a rebel army or ones that instructed a famous spellcaster to curse him.

However, every attempt proved to be a failure.

No matter how skilled the assassin, the dictator wasn't even wounded.

His enemies were captured one after the other and then either sent into exile to a foreign country or publicly executed on a plaza. The number of rebels oppositing him was on a constant decline.

Again some years passed, until the dictator finally was able to capture the last rebel.

He decided for a public execution of the rebel as warning to the citizens.

And so he announced to all the pople gathered at the wide plaza.

That this is the last rebel, and no one will oppose him anymore.

"And that's why,

I'm no longer a dictator, but the true king of this country." he continued.

Moments later, a guard stationed at the plaza suddenly shot him with a gun.

The guard wasn't a citizen of his land, but an assassin from a foreign country that mixed up with the crowd.

As one could think, the shot man was holding an old book.

But the book didn't protect him, '''who stopped being a dictator''', anymore.

The man who once was a dictator was shot by an assassin and died.

The people that heared this message told each other:

"This incompetent politician finally bit the dust. Now this country is alright."

A little girl wearing a dress colored in deep crimson laughed amused on hearing this.

How idiotic!, the girl laughed.

At last she got going and disappeared in the crowd of people who all had hope written on their faces.