Gekkou:Volume 1 Moonlight - Revision history

EusthEnoptEron: Removed unnecessary category.

2014-02-28T15:33:39Z

Removed unnecessary category.

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:33, 28 February 2014
Line 1,041:		Line 1,041:
	}}		}}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

	~~[[Category:Gekkou]]~~

NoodleShopRampage: /* [Moonlight] */ Once again, for ease of reading.

2014-02-07T09:06:03Z

[Moonlight]: Once again, for ease of reading.

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:06, 7 February 2014
Line 38:		Line 38:
	The park was situated a few minutes' walk past Tsukimori's home.		The park was situated a few minutes' walk past Tsukimori's home.

	By the time the viridian green fence of the park came into view, my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to ~~really~~ faint at any moment.		By the time the viridian green fence of the park came into view, my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to faint at any moment.

	I checked the time on my watch. It was just past eleven, which was reasonable because I had returned home once, taken a shower and put on a change of clothes.		I checked the time on my watch. It was just past eleven, which was reasonable because I had returned home once, taken a shower and put on a change of clothes.

NoodleShopRampage: /* [Moonlight] */ Changed "my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to really faint any moment." to "my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to really faint at any moment." Seems less awkward now.

2014-02-07T03:30:20Z

[Moonlight]: Changed "my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to really faint any moment." to "my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to really faint at any moment." Seems less awkward now.

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:30, 7 February 2014
Line 38:		Line 38:
	The park was situated a few minutes' walk past Tsukimori's home.		The park was situated a few minutes' walk past Tsukimori's home.

	By the time the viridian green fence of the park came into view, my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to really faint any moment.		By the time the viridian green fence of the park came into view, my breath was so wild and faint that I expected to really faint at any moment.

	I checked the time on my watch. It was just past eleven, which was reasonable because I had returned home once, taken a shower and put on a change of clothes.		I checked the time on my watch. It was just past eleven, which was reasonable because I had returned home once, taken a shower and put on a change of clothes.

BladeUnderHeart at 20:51, 14 July 2013

2013-07-14T20:51:27Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:51, 14 July 2013
Line 830:		Line 830:
	When I whispered so, she turned around with vim and vigor, spinning the skirt-part of her dress like a parasol. The clock hand had long since passed midnight.		When I whispered so, she turned around with vim and vigor, spinning the skirt-part of her dress like a parasol. The clock hand had long since passed midnight.

	"I'm shocked. How could I have ~~miss-timed~~ such an important event?" ~~<!-- mistimed? -->~~		"I'm shocked. How could I have mistimed such an important event?"

	Something rare happened: she was discouraged.		Something rare happened: she was discouraged.

BladeUnderHeart at 21:39, 15 April 2013

2013-04-15T21:39:45Z

EusthEnoptEron at 16:54, 25 September 2012

2012-09-25T16:54:24Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:54, 25 September 2012
Line 488:		Line 488:
	I saw that neither in her eyes nor on her lips was a smile. She was entirely serious.		I saw that neither in her eyes nor on her lips was a smile. She was entirely serious.

	This was the memorable moment in which he finally succeeded in freezing her smile.		This was the memorable moment in which I finally succeeded in freezing her smile.

	The clock tower was about to strike twelve.		The clock tower was about to strike twelve.

MiY4Gi: /* [Moonlight] */

2012-09-25T16:25:29Z

[Moonlight]

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:25, 25 September 2012
Line 246:		Line 246:
	I shook my head fiercely to get rid of stray thoughts, took a deep breath and continued as composedly as I could manage.		I shook my head fiercely to get rid of stray thoughts, took a deep breath and continued as composedly as I could manage.

	"...When I first obtained the murder recipe," I proceeded with the subject as if to bury the mistake I had committed, "I thought that you had written it. I didn't even doubt that the owner was ~~equal~~ the author. The word 'recipe', however, has been bothering me since then. Wouldn't it normally be a 'murder plan'?"		"...When I first obtained the murder recipe," I proceeded with the subject as if to bury the mistake I had committed, "I thought that you had written it. I didn't even doubt that the owner was equivalent to the author. The word 'recipe', however, has been bothering me since then. Wouldn't it normally be a 'murder plan'?"

	Only my voice resounded throughout the moonlit park.		Only my voice resounded throughout the moonlit park.
Line 440:		Line 440:
	As if reminiscing, Tsukimori narrowed her eyes slightly.		As if reminiscing, Tsukimori narrowed her eyes slightly.

	"I was already able to do anything on my own when I was still young. My mother, too, would have had no problems living without my father. As for him, he merely sustained the budget to fulfill his role as the man of the house, but he didn't interfere in the household itself. Whether you believe it or not, when I was young I thought of him only as a ~~kindhearted　uncle~~ who gave us money."		"I was already able to do anything on my own when I was still young. My mother, too, would have had no problems living without my father. As for him, he merely sustained the budget to fulfill his role as the man of the house, but he didn't interfere in the household itself. Whether you believe it or not, when I was young I thought of him only as a kindhearted uncle who gave us money."

	Her smile bent in self-deprecation.		Her smile bent in self-deprecation.
Line 488:		Line 488:
	I saw that neither in her eyes nor on her lips was a smile. She was entirely serious.		I saw that neither in her eyes nor on her lips was a smile. She was entirely serious.

	This was the memorable moment in which finally succeeded in freezing her smile.		This was the memorable moment in which he finally succeeded in freezing her smile.

	The clock tower was about to strike twelve.		The clock tower was about to strike twelve.

Jonathanasdf: navbar

2011-12-15T02:52:12Z

navbar

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:52, 15 December 2011
Line 1,037:		Line 1,037:
	<noinclude>		<noinclude>
	{{GekkouNavbar		{{GekkouNavbar
	\| ~~back=~~[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye\|Bye-Bye]]		\| [[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye\|Bye-Bye]]
	\| ~~forward=~~[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword\|Afterword]]		\| [[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword\|Afterword]]
	}}		}}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

	[[Category:Gekkou]]		[[Category:Gekkou]]

Jonathanasdf: navbar

2011-12-15T01:14:29Z

navbar

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:14, 15 December 2011
Line 1,036:		Line 1,036:

	<noinclude>		<noinclude>
	{{~~Template:Navigation\|Gekkou~~\|		{{GekkouNavbar
	[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye\|Bye-Bye]]\|		\| back=[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bye-Bye\|Bye-Bye]]
	[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword\|Afterword]]}}		\| forward=[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Afterword\|Afterword]]
			}}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

	[[Category:Gekkou]]		[[Category:Gekkou]]

Fortis-Magna: /* [Moonlight] */

2011-11-22T13:11:18Z

[Moonlight]

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:11, 22 November 2011
Line 172:		Line 172:
	Because I was keeping quiet, she tilted her head slightly, "Mh?"		Because I was keeping quiet, she tilted her head slightly, "Mh?"

	There had been no creaks in her smile from beginning to end. Despite my having labeled her a "murderer".		There had been no creaks in her smile from beginning to end. Despite me having labeled her a "murderer".

	Her smile was something like a trademark. In the mind of everyone else, Youko Tsukimori was probably depicted as an ever-smiling holy woman.		Her smile was something like a trademark. In the mind of everyone else, Youko Tsukimori was probably depicted as an ever-smiling holy woman.

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:39, 15 April 2013
Line 82:		Line 82:
	"Yes," she nodded.		"Yes," she nodded.

	"You also said that it was fine for me to make a decision after we had to know each other better, right?"		"You also said that it was fine for me to make a decision after we had come to know each other better, right?"

	"Yes," she squinted an eye.		"Yes," she squinted an eye.
Line 100:		Line 100:
	The next moment, she leaped from the top of the jungle-gym into the dark blue sky.		The next moment, she leaped from the top of the jungle-gym into the dark blue sky.

	Her shawl spread out to both her sides like the wings of a swan, then she landed softly like a feather that ~~fell~~ from those wings.		Her shawl spread out to both her sides like the wings of a swan, then she landed softly like a feather that had fallen from those wings.

	"What am I going to hear from you now?"		"What am I going to hear from you now?"
Line 264:		Line 264:
	It was calm and musing.<!-- "It"? Not "She"?--><!-- Yes. Give it the 'Garfield minus Garfield' treatment and string his sentences together without her being quoted in the middle: "I leaned a little forward to sneak a peek at her expression." "It was calm and musing." See? The object of the sentence is not her, it is her expression. --><!-- Ah, now I see. Didn't notice the above sentence before. -->		It was calm and musing.<!-- "It"? Not "She"?--><!-- Yes. Give it the 'Garfield minus Garfield' treatment and string his sentences together without her being quoted in the middle: "I leaned a little forward to sneak a peek at her expression." "It was calm and musing." See? The object of the sentence is not her, it is her expression. --><!-- Ah, now I see. Didn't notice the above sentence before. -->

	"—I realized right away who my mother ~~was meaning~~ to kill."		"—I realized right away who my mother meant to kill."

	"Your father."		"Your father."
Line 322:		Line 322:
	"Who would imagine such a luck-based murder plan could exist?"		"Who would imagine such a luck-based murder plan could exist?"

	Tsukimori was at a loss for words. Of course she was. A few moments before, she had stated that she could have never imagined her mother ~~to write~~ something like that.		Tsukimori was at a loss for words. Of course she was. A few moments before, she had stated that she could have never imagined her mother writing something like that.

	"If hypothetically that plan worked out favorably, wouldn't it indeed look like a 'mishap'?"		"If hypothetically that plan worked out favorably, wouldn't it indeed look like a 'mishap'?"
Line 336:		Line 336:
	I was a little startled at her unexpected reaction.		I was a little startled at her unexpected reaction.

	"What is there to deny? It only natural that one would harbor doubts about that accident even having read the recipe only once."		"What is there to deny? It is only natural that one would harbor doubts about that accident even having read the recipe only once."

	She shook the sheet beside her head, holding it with her fingertips.		She shook the sheet beside her head, holding it with her fingertips.
Line 646:		Line 646:
	She was boldly sitting on my pelvis<!--is his description really this clinical?--><!-- No, I just couldn't find a better word there. Maybe belly? --><!-- Belly wouldn't be unbearably bad, but isn't really in character for his narrator voice. Here's an easy way out: middle. It works, it's common English, and it is neither overly suggestive nor overly colloquial. If the original is actually mildly suggestive (which is implied by 'boldly', then use 'pelvis.' --><!-- Ah, exactly what I searched for. To tell the truth, I don't know how suggestive "下腹部" is, but at least that's the impression I got while reading. Well, and the dictionary said "特に、陰部", so it should be fine. --> For now, I just wanted to do something about her lack of manners.		She was boldly sitting on my pelvis<!--is his description really this clinical?--><!-- No, I just couldn't find a better word there. Maybe belly? --><!-- Belly wouldn't be unbearably bad, but isn't really in character for his narrator voice. Here's an easy way out: middle. It works, it's common English, and it is neither overly suggestive nor overly colloquial. If the original is actually mildly suggestive (which is implied by 'boldly', then use 'pelvis.' --><!-- Ah, exactly what I searched for. To tell the truth, I don't know how suggestive "下腹部" is, but at least that's the impression I got while reading. Well, and the dictionary said "特に、陰部", so it should be fine. --> For now, I just wanted to do something about her lack of manners.

	Unfortunately though, she apparently didn't intend to get off. She went on her knees, bent over me while putting her hands left and right of my head and started talking from right above me, with her ~~eyed~~ staring in mine. "What are you going to do? What do you want to do? Do you want to tell the police about the recipe and the things I have told you just now?"		Unfortunately though, she apparently didn't intend to get off. She went on her knees, bent over me while putting her hands left and right of my head and started talking from right above me, with her eyes staring into mine. "What are you going to do? What do you want to do? Do you want to tell the police about the recipe and the things I have told you just now?"

	As her charming lips formed words, my hair was softly stroked by her ticklish breath.		As her charming lips formed words, my hair was softly stroked by her ticklish breath.
Line 738:		Line 738:
	"You cannot be excited about a present when you already know what is inside," she slouched her shoulders slightly. "Nevertheless, I did not decide against being the Youko Tsukimori everyone desired, because it is simple to play the model student and it did not feel bad to live up to their expectations."		"You cannot be excited about a present when you already know what is inside," she slouched her shoulders slightly. "Nevertheless, I did not decide against being the Youko Tsukimori everyone desired, because it is simple to play the model student and it did not feel bad to live up to their expectations."

	After picking it up, she draped the shawl around her shoulders again, skipped towards me with light steps reminiscent of a ballerina and landed right beside my head. Then a thick shadow covered my field of vision entirely, so that I was almost left in the belief that the moon had been covered by dark clouds. In fact, she had bent right over me with her hands at her hips.		After picking it up, she draped the shawl around her shoulders again, skipped towards me with light steps reminiscent of a ballerina and landed right beside my head. Then a thick shadow covered my field of vision entirely, so that I was almost left with the belief that the moon had been covered by dark clouds. In fact, she had bent right over me with her hands at her hips.

	"Do you want to know why I entrusted you with the recipe, Nonomiya-kun?"		"Do you want to know why I entrusted you with the recipe, Nonomiya-kun?"
Line 782:		Line 782:
	"You don't make sense. Why did you throw away the murder recipe then?"		"You don't make sense. Why did you throw away the murder recipe then?"

	"Who would buy such am absurd story? I mean, how should I answer the police if they asked me for the reason why you killed your parents? Do you think I would get through with 'Oh, it looks like she felt like it'?"		"Who would buy such an absurd story? I mean, how should I answer the police if they asked me for the reason why you killed your parents? Do you think I would get through with 'Oh, it looks like she felt like it'?"

	Without knowing her well, understanding her motive would be very difficult. Having seen Youko Tsukimori's true face, I was the only who could ever nod, facing such a claim.		Without knowing her well, understanding her motive would be very difficult. Having seen Youko Tsukimori's true face, I was the only who could ever nod, facing such a claim.
Line 830:		Line 830:
	When I whispered so, she turned around with vim and vigor, spinning the skirt-part of her dress like a parasol. The clock hand had long since passed midnight.		When I whispered so, she turned around with vim and vigor, spinning the skirt-part of her dress like a parasol. The clock hand had long since passed midnight.

	"I'm shocked. How could I have miss-timed such an important event?"		"I'm shocked. How could I have miss-timed such an important event?" <!-- mistimed? -->

	Something rare happened: she was discouraged.		Something rare happened: she was discouraged.
Line 850:		Line 850:
	"Remember one thing, Tsukimori. I'm not as good-natured as to hear out something that I know won't be any good."		"Remember one thing, Tsukimori. I'm not as good-natured as to hear out something that I know won't be any good."

	"Don't worry! I am not going to plead for ~~any~~ expensive present. Well, it is a present, but it's more like a memory or a memento," <!-- He'd better hope it's not a memento mori... -->she said and while doing so, she took out a mobile phone from her dress and thrust it before my nose. "I want a photograph of us."		"Don't worry! I am not going to plead for an expensive present. Well, it is a present, but it's more like a memory or a memento," <!-- He'd better hope it's not a memento mori... -->she said and while doing so, she took out a mobile phone from her dress and thrust it before my nose. "I want a photograph of us."

	"...you ask for that while knowing that I don't like photos?"		"...you ask for that while knowing that I don't like photos?"
Line 1,014:		Line 1,014:
	I gave up resisting and looked up at the night sky along with a sigh.		I gave up resisting and looked up at the night sky along with a sigh.

	The fine silver light from the moon shone down on the earth like silk threads, which were absorbed by the earth. Without a break, as if the moon was trying to dye all creatures on earth in its white light.		The fine silver light from the moon shone down on the earth like silk threads, which were absorbed by the earth. Without a break, as if the moon was trying to dye all the creatures on earth in its white light.

	Compared to the moonlight, any other type of light seemed ever so weak. No matter how bright the stars twinkled, no matter how much light the streets of the town emitted, nothing could match the all-enveloping moonlight.		Compared to the moonlight, any other type of light seemed ever so weak. No matter how bright the stars twinkled, no matter how much light the streets of the town emitted, nothing could match the all-enveloping moonlight.