Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter01 00 - Revision history

Nanashi(kari): More accurate to the Japanese text.

2020-03-27T15:36:31Z

More accurate to the Japanese text.

61.11.175.146 at 02:46, 10 April 2009

2009-04-10T02:46:04Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:46, 10 April 2009
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	It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.		It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.

	Walking woodenly along the building street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone came crashing down.		Walking woodenly along the building-lined street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone came crashing down.
	It was a squishing sound that you should never hear.		It was a squishing sound that you should never hear.
	The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.		The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.
	A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.		A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.
	The only features that remained were the dark black hair and the pale, thin, fragile looking limbs.		The only features that remained were the dark black hair and the pale, thin, fragile-looking limbs.

	And that featureless, crushed face.		And that featureless, crushed face.

Georgi: I decided to make a few changes and make this the same as the epiloguq by taking the best of both.

2009-03-07T20:45:51Z

I decided to make a few changes and make this the same as the epiloguq by taking the best of both.

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:45, 7 March 2009
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	It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.		It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.

	Walking woodenly along the building street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone ~~fell~~.		Walking woodenly along the building street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone came crashing down.
	It was a squishing sound that you should never hear.		It was a squishing sound that you should never hear.
	The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.		The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.
Line 10:		Line 10:
	And that featureless, crushed face.		And that featureless, crushed face.

	The whole scene reminded me of a ~~flattened~~ flower, ~~tucked~~ between the ~~pages~~ of ~~an old book~~.		The whole scene was surrounded by the old summer, and it reminded me of a pressed flower, flattened between the covers of a heavy tome.

	Probably because the corpse, with its neck bent unnaturally, looked like a broken lily to me...		Probably because the corpse, with its neck bent unnaturally, looked like a broken lily to me...

Georgi at 01:08, 5 February 2009

2009-02-05T01:08:02Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:08, 5 February 2009
Line 6:		Line 6:
	The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.		The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.
	A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.		A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.
	The only features that remained were the dark black hair, and the pale, thin, fragile looking limbs.		The only features that remained were the dark black hair and the pale, thin, fragile looking limbs.

	And that featureless, crushed face.		And that featureless, crushed face.

67.204.5.115: added a coma that I find necessary

2009-02-05T01:06:25Z

added a coma that I find necessary

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:06, 5 February 2009
Line 6:		Line 6:
	The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.		The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.
	A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.		A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.
	The only features that remained were the dark black hair, and the pale, thin fragile looking limbs.		The only features that remained were the dark black hair, and the pale, thin, fragile looking limbs.

	And that featureless, crushed face.		And that featureless, crushed face.

M: I liked the old translation of the broken neck better. I don't even see how a babies' head fits. Also reworded some of the rough sections.

2008-08-17T05:07:39Z

I liked the old translation of the broken neck better. I don't even see how a babies' head fits. Also reworded some of the rough sections.

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:07, 17 August 2008
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	That day, I chose to take the main street home.		That day, I chose to take the main street home.
	It was just on a whim; a very rare thing for me to do.		It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.

	Walking woodenly along the building street that I was tired of seeing, someone fell.		Walking woodenly along the building street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone fell.
	It was a squishing sound that you ~~normally~~ never hear.		It was a squishing sound that you should never hear.
	The person obviously died from falling off a building.		The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.
	A crimson color ~~spread across~~ the ~~pavement~~.		A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.
	The only features that remained were the dark, black hair and the thin~~, white~~ fragile ~~arms and legs~~.		The only features that remained were the dark black hair, and the pale, thin fragile looking limbs.

	And that featureless, crushed face.		And that featureless, crushed face.
Line 12:		Line 12:
	The whole scene reminded me of a flattened flower, tucked between the pages of an old book.		The whole scene reminded me of a flattened flower, tucked between the pages of an old book.

	Probably because the corpse, with ~~only the head deformed like a baby's~~, looked like a broken lily to me...		Probably because the corpse, with its neck bent unnaturally, looked like a broken lily to me...

	／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-		／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-

M: Changed verb tense inconsistancy, wordyness, and added navigation panel

2008-08-14T15:54:58Z

Changed verb tense inconsistancy, wordyness, and added navigation panel

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-That day, I chose to take the main street to go home. It was just on a whim, a very rare thing for me to do.
+That day, I chose to take the main street home.
-As I was walking woodenly along the building street that I grew tired of seeing, someone came falling down. A squishing sound that you would normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died from falling off a building. A crimson color was spreading across the pavement. The only features that remained were the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, fragile arms and legs. And then, that featureless, crushed face. The whole scene reminded me of a flattened flower, tucked between the pages of an old book.
+Walking woodenly along the building street that I was tired of seeing, someone fell.
-... Probably because the corpse, with only the head deformed like a baby's, looked like a broken lily to me....
+And that featureless, crushed face.
 ／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-

Zwq4869conan: A mistake

2008-07-08T06:30:41Z

A mistake

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:30, 8 July 2008
Line 3:		Line 3:
	As I was walking woodenly along the building street that I grew tired of seeing, someone came falling down. A squishing sound that you would normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died from falling off a building. A crimson color was spreading across the pavement. The only features that remained were the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, fragile arms and legs. And then, that featureless, crushed face. The whole scene reminded me of a flattened flower, tucked between the pages of an old book.		As I was walking woodenly along the building street that I grew tired of seeing, someone came falling down. A squishing sound that you would normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died from falling off a building. A crimson color was spreading across the pavement. The only features that remained were the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, fragile arms and legs. And then, that featureless, crushed face. The whole scene reminded me of a flattened flower, tucked between the pages of an old book.

	... Probably because the corpse, with only the head ~~disformed~~ like a baby's, looked like a broken lily to me....		... Probably because the corpse, with only the head deformed like a baby's, looked like a broken lily to me....

	／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-		／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-

Darkmiz at 01:15, 23 June 2008

2008-06-23T01:15:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:15, 23 June 2008
Line 1:		Line 1:
	That day, I chose to take the main street to go home. It was just on a whim, a very rare thing for me to do.		That day, I chose to take the main street to go home. It was just on a whim, a very rare thing for me to do.

	As I was walking ~~amidst those buildings~~ that I ~~see day in, day out~~, someone came ~~crashing~~ down. A ~~wet crushing~~ sound that you would normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died ~~after~~ falling off ~~one of the buildings~~. A crimson color ~~spreads~~ across the ~~ground~~. The only features that remained were the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, fragile arms and legs. And then, that ~~broken~~, ~~damaged~~ face. The whole scene ~~was surrounded by the old summer, and it~~ reminded me of a ~~pressed~~ flower, ~~flattened~~ between the ~~covers~~ of ~~a heavy tome~~.		As I was walking woodenly along the building street that I grew tired of seeing, someone came falling down. A squishing sound that you would normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died from falling off a building. A crimson color was spreading across the pavement. The only features that remained were the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, fragile arms and legs. And then, that featureless, crushed face. The whole scene reminded me of a flattened flower, tucked between the pages of an old book.

	... Probably because the corpse, ~~which had~~ only ~~its neck broken~~, looked like a broken lily to me....		... Probably because the corpse, with only the head disformed like a baby's, looked like a broken lily to me....

	／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-		／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-

Jc100: removed comma, added period after ellipses

2007-09-02T08:52:56Z

removed comma, added period after ellipses

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:52, 2 September 2007
Line 3:		Line 3:
	As I was walking amidst those buildings that I see day in, day out, someone came crashing down. A wet crushing sound that you would normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died after falling off one of the buildings. A crimson color spreads across the ground. The only features that remained were the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, fragile arms and legs. And then, that broken, damaged face. The whole scene was surrounded by the old summer, and it reminded me of a pressed flower, flattened between the covers of a heavy tome.		As I was walking amidst those buildings that I see day in, day out, someone came crashing down. A wet crushing sound that you would normally never hear. It was obvious that the person died after falling off one of the buildings. A crimson color spreads across the ground. The only features that remained were the dark, black hair, and the thin, white, fragile arms and legs. And then, that broken, damaged face. The whole scene was surrounded by the old summer, and it reminded me of a pressed flower, flattened between the covers of a heavy tome.

	... Probably, because the corpse, which had only its neck broken, looked like a broken lily to me...		... Probably because the corpse, which had only its neck broken, looked like a broken lily to me....

	／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-		／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:36, 27 March 2020
Line 1:		Line 1:
	That day, I chose to take the main street home.		That day, I chose to take the main street home.

	It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.		It was just a whim, and a very rare thing for me to do.

	Walking woodenly along the building-lined street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone came crashing down.		Walking woodenly along the building-lined street that I was tired of seeing day in and day out, someone came crashing down.
	It was a squishing sound that ~~you should never hear~~.
			It was a squishing sound that isn't usually heard.

	The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.		The person lying on the pavement, broken, had obviously died from falling off a building.

	A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.		A crimson color slowly seeped onto the concrete.

	The only features that remained were the dark black hair and the pale, thin, fragile-looking limbs.		The only features that remained were the dark black hair and the pale, thin, fragile-looking limbs.

	And that featureless, crushed face.		And that featureless, crushed face.

	The whole scene ~~was surrounded by the old summer, and it~~ reminded me of a pressed flower, flattened between the covers of a heavy tome.		The whole scene reminded me of a pressed flower, flattened between the covers of a heavy tome.


			Probably because the corpse, with only its neck bent like a fetus, looked like a broken lily to me.

	~~Probably because the corpse, with its neck bent unnaturally, looked like a broken lily to me...~~

	／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-		／Overlooking View (Thanatos) -Fujoh Kirie-