Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume20 Chapter1 - Revision history

Leviticus: Form, punctuation

2017-04-22T07:50:12Z

Form, punctuation

Leviticus: Removed unnecessary TL note

2016-12-10T05:52:17Z

Removed unnecessary TL note

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:52, 10 December 2016
Line 202:		Line 202:
	"If you find it cruel, then leave the room and search for one, please. Maybe your unexpected s&oelig;ur is waiting for you outside the door."<!--(S: Sachiko is referring to how she found Yumi outside the door herself, in the same situation during the Cinderella play in Book 1.)-->		"If you find it cruel, then leave the room and search for one, please. Maybe your unexpected s&oelig;ur is waiting for you outside the door."<!--(S: Sachiko is referring to how she found Yumi outside the door herself, in the same situation during the Cinderella play in Book 1.)-->

	"So you want me too to look for some gold in the straw?"<!--(S: Again this references Book 1. Rosa Gigantea calls Sachiko a Warashibe Chouja, one who is given nothing but straw to work with by Buddha, and by a chain of events, becomes rich because of the straw. It's a veiled insult, which is compounded because it was leveraged against Sachiko in the previous year in regards to her own soeur troubles.)--~~><ref>[[User:Lunar_Vitae\|LV]]: this back-and-forth is a direct comparison and reference to Sachiko's situation in Volume 1. See hidden notes for specifics.</ref~~>		"So you want me too to look for some gold in the straw?"<!--(S: Again this references Book 1. Rosa Gigantea calls Sachiko a Warashibe Chouja, one who is given nothing but straw to work with by Buddha, and by a chain of events, becomes rich because of the straw. It's a veiled insult, which is compounded because it was leveraged against Sachiko in the previous year in regards to her own soeur troubles.)-->

	"What does that mean?"		"What does that mean?"

Leviticus: Nav bar, chapter titles

2016-11-24T02:45:03Z

Nav bar, chapter titles

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:45, 24 November 2016
Line 982:		Line 982:
	{\| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"		{\| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
	\|-		\|-
			\| Return to [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru\|Main Page]]
	\| Back to [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru:Volume20_Prologue\|Prologue]]		\| Back to [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru:Volume20_Prologue\|Prologue]]
	~~\| Return to [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru\|Main Page]]~~		\| Forward to [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru:Volume20_Chapter2\|Maria-sama's Star]]
	\| Forward to [[Maria-sama_ga_Miteru:Volume20_Chapter2\|~~Chapter 2~~]]
	\|-		\|-
	\|}		\|}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

Leviticus: Note edits (parts 5 & 6)

2016-11-10T09:20:14Z

Note edits (parts 5 & 6)

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:20, 10 November 2016
Line 768:		Line 768:
	Touko brought her face close enough to Noriko to kiss her as she daydreamed. Suddenly seeing Touko's face made Noriko jump back.		Touko brought her face close enough to Noriko to kiss her as she daydreamed. Suddenly seeing Touko's face made Noriko jump back.

	"Well, I'm sorry. You had been sweeping the same place with the broom for a while now, so I took that as a sign that something was going wrong." ~~<!-- Note 3 -->~~		"Well, I'm sorry. You had been sweeping the same place with the broom for a while now, so I took that as a sign that something was going wrong."

	"... I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something."		"... I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something."
Line 836:		Line 836:
	Yumi said clearly.		Yumi said clearly.

	It was after school, at the Rose Mansion. The two members of each rose family were present, totaling six members, with the addition of the Newspaper Club representative, Yamaguchi Mami-san. Even Rei-sama, who had kendo practice every day, took a break from her preparation and decided to attend the special meeting. ~~When anything dealt with the issue of a~~ petite s&oelig;ur ~~for Yoshino-san~~, Rei-sama ~~would always~~ say "~~Leave it to me~~, I'll ~~make sure~~ it ~~works out~~." ~~<!-- Note 4 -->~~		It was after school, at the Rose Mansion. The two members of each rose family were present, totaling six members, with the addition of the Newspaper Club representative, Yamaguchi Mami-san. Even Rei-sama, who had kendo practice every day, took a break from her preparation and decided to attend the special meeting. Since it was related to her darling Yoshino-san's petite s&oelig;ur, Rei-sama wasn't about to say, "Do whatever you want, I'll leave it up to you."

	"If not audition, then what would be a better name?"		"If not audition, then what would be a better name?"
Line 934:		Line 934:
	Behind Yumi, Rei-sama followed. Sachiko-sama's eyes narrowed.		Behind Yumi, Rei-sama followed. Sachiko-sama's eyes narrowed.

	"Rei. I ~~do not wish~~ to ~~play cop with you too~~. If you want to ~~play along with them,~~ then you're free to do so." ~~<!-- Note 5 -->~~		"Having said that, Rei, I don't intend to restrict your actions. If you want to join in then you're free to do so."

	"..."		"..."
Line 962:		Line 962:
	"Rosa Chinensis called us together herself, but got mad at us?"		"Rosa Chinensis called us together herself, but got mad at us?"

	"No, that's not it Noriko."		"No, that's not it, Noriko."

	Shimako-san corrected her, to which Yumi nodded in agreement.		Shimako-san corrected her, to which Yumi nodded in agreement.

Leviticus: Note edits, flow (part 4)

2016-11-10T09:05:48Z

Note edits, flow (part 4)

Show changes

Leviticus: Picture placement

2016-10-20T07:36:12Z

Picture placement

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:36, 20 October 2016
Line 181:		Line 181:

	"Well, if that's what you want to say, then we're talking about something completely different. Please follow Yoshino-chan. But if you plan not to go with her, then while Yoshino-chan does that, you should use the time instead to gather your own s&oelig;ur candidates, Yumi. I've given up on waiting for you."		"Well, if that's what you want to say, then we're talking about something completely different. Please follow Yoshino-chan. But if you plan not to go with her, then while Yoshino-chan does that, you should use the time instead to gather your own s&oelig;ur candidates, Yumi. I've given up on waiting for you."

			[[Image:MM_v20_019.jpg\|thumb]]

	"Uh...."		"Uh...."
Line 189:		Line 191:

	Swish.		Swish.

	~~[[Image:MM_v20_019.jpg\|thumb]]~~

	She had made her decisions ... hadn't she? No, it seemed wholly bad for her. Yoshino-san turned her head away with a look on her face that said, "She's done it now," and Sachiko-sama laughed.		She had made her decisions ... hadn't she? No, it seemed wholly bad for her. Yoshino-san turned her head away with a look on her face that said, "She's done it now," and Sachiko-sama laughed.

Leviticus: Touch-up, Reference tweak

2016-10-20T07:27:46Z

Touch-up, Reference tweak

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:27, 20 October 2016
Line 8:		Line 8:
	Yoshino-san said, while holding a fist up to her face for emphasis, with no warning.		Yoshino-san said, while holding a fist up to her face for emphasis, with no warning.

	Someone who had been listening to Yoshino-san could only think of it as sudden. For some time now, Yoshino-san had been vacillating back and forth in her heart about something with a "no, not this," or a, "not this either."		Someone who had been listening to Yoshino-san could only think of it as sudden. For some time now, Yoshino-san had been vacillating back and forth in her heart about something with a "no, not this," or a "not this either."

	"Aw—?"		"Aw—?"
Line 76:		Line 76:
	"Speaking of meeting, how about someone from Kendo club?" asked Yumi, at which Yoshino-san made a strained face.		"Speaking of meeting, how about someone from Kendo club?" asked Yumi, at which Yoshino-san made a strained face.

	"I'm very perky right? But even though I have all that energy, and even though the old man next door runs a ~~Kendo Dojo~~, I'm still just a real beginner. I'd only be able to ask someone of a lower ~~Kendo~~ rank than me to be my s&oelig;ur."		"I'm very perky right? But even though I have all that energy, and even though the old man next door runs a kendo dojo, I'm still just a real beginner. I'd only be able to ask someone of a lower kendo rank than me to be my s&oelig;ur."

	"So basically, if she's better than you at ~~Kendo~~, you wouldn't let her be your s&oelig;ur?"		"So basically, if she's better than you at kendo, you wouldn't let her be your s&oelig;ur?"

	"That's about right."		"That's about right."
Line 202:		Line 202:
	"If you find it cruel, then leave the room and search for one, please. Maybe your unexpected s&oelig;ur is waiting for you outside the door."<!--(S: Sachiko is referring to how she found Yumi outside the door herself, in the same situation during the Cinderella play in Book 1.)-->		"If you find it cruel, then leave the room and search for one, please. Maybe your unexpected s&oelig;ur is waiting for you outside the door."<!--(S: Sachiko is referring to how she found Yumi outside the door herself, in the same situation during the Cinderella play in Book 1.)-->

	"So you want me too to look for some gold in the straw?"<~~ref>~~(S: Again this references Book 1. Rosa Gigantea calls Sachiko a Warashibe Chouja, one who is given nothing but straw to work with by Buddha, and by a chain of events, becomes rich because of the straw. It's a veiled insult, which is compounded because it was leveraged against Sachiko in the previous year in regards to her own ~~s&oelig;ur~~ troubles.)</ref>		"So you want me too to look for some gold in the straw?"<!--(S: Again this references Book 1. Rosa Gigantea calls Sachiko a Warashibe Chouja, one who is given nothing but straw to work with by Buddha, and by a chain of events, becomes rich because of the straw. It's a veiled insult, which is compounded because it was leveraged against Sachiko in the previous year in regards to her own soeur troubles.)--><ref>[[User:Lunar_Vitae\|LV]]: this back-and-forth is a direct comparison and reference to Sachiko's situation in Volume 1. See hidden notes for specifics.</ref>

	"What does that mean?!"		"What does that mean?"

	With Sachiko-sama's obvious eyebrow-raising, Yumi understood that she herself had forgotten being called 'Warashibe Chouja'.		With Sachiko-sama's obvious eyebrow-raising, Yumi understood that she herself had forgotten being called 'Warashibe Chouja'.
Line 214:		Line 214:
	Just about a year ago, Sachiko-sama herself had been thrust into some painful circumstances by the former Roses, and had stormed out of the room in anger. That was when Yumi had coincidentally decided to visit the Rose Mansion. So, as she was walking together with Shimako-san, who was acting as her guide, Yumi had collided with Sachiko-sama as she left the room. It seemed that humans, when pushed into action by something, go down paths that they cannot fully understand.		Just about a year ago, Sachiko-sama herself had been thrust into some painful circumstances by the former Roses, and had stormed out of the room in anger. That was when Yumi had coincidentally decided to visit the Rose Mansion. So, as she was walking together with Shimako-san, who was acting as her guide, Yumi had collided with Sachiko-sama as she left the room. It seemed that humans, when pushed into action by something, go down paths that they cannot fully understand.

	If God has prearranged a s&oelig;ur for me, then I probably ~~would not~~ be able to see her standing outside the door.		(If God has prearranged a s&oelig;ur for me, then I probably wouldn't be able to see her standing outside the door.)

	As Yumi was opening the door, the knob began escaping from her grip. As soon as she began to understand that someone from the other side was opening the door, Shimako-san's face became visible. As soon as Shimako-san saw an overly excited Yumi storm out of the door, Shimako-san quickly dodged out of the way.		As Yumi was opening the door, the knob began escaping from her grip. As soon as she began to understand that someone from the other side was opening the door, Shimako-san's face became visible. As soon as Shimako-san saw an overly excited Yumi storm out of the door, Shimako-san quickly dodged out of the way.
Line 224:		Line 224:
	She had readied herself, and closed her eyes.		She had readied herself, and closed her eyes.

			<br><br>
	As she collided with a warm object and both of them fell onto the floor, for some reason Yumi could not feel the impact. Yumi opened her eyes.		As she collided with a warm object and both of them fell onto the floor, for some reason Yumi could not feel the impact. Yumi opened her eyes.

Line 235:		Line 235:
	Sachiko's didactic reply could be heard from in the room.		Sachiko's didactic reply could be heard from in the room.

	"She is a girl who does not understand whether she has or ~~does~~ not ~~have luck~~."		"She is a girl who does not understand whether she has luck or not."



	===Part 2===		===Part 2===

Leviticus: Punctuation, Flow, Form

2016-10-20T07:05:35Z

Punctuation, Flow, Form

Show changes

Leviticus: Sentence Structure/Flow, Punctuation, Moving a hidden note to TN, Style/Format

2016-10-20T04:31:53Z

Sentence Structure/Flow, Punctuation, Moving a hidden note to TN, Style/Format

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:31, 20 October 2016
Line 744:		Line 744:
	===Part 5===		===Part 5===

	Why ~~had Noriko thought~~ something like that.		Why did she say something like that?

	~~She~~ was revisiting the moment when ~~Noriko~~ had ~~told~~ Yumi ~~"Are you sure I~~ should help out?"		Noriko was revisiting the moment when she had asked Yumi-sama if she should help out.

	Yumi-sama didn't understand what ~~Noriko had been~~ asking, ~~and then~~ Noriko ~~had~~ let it drop.		Yumi-sama didn't understand what she was asking, so Noriko let it drop.

	"~~Aaaah~~."		"Aaah...."

	Afternoon classes were filled with such sighs.		Afternoon classes were filled with such sighs.

	I see.		(I see.)

	She didn't want to overstep her bounds. If she said what she wanted to say, then she would have to take responsibility for her statements until the very end.		She didn't want to overstep her bounds. If she said what she wanted to say, then she would have to take responsibility for her statements until the very end.

	Because she had only done her duty halfway, because she dropped the torch before it was all done, she felt bad ~~about it. So~~ she kept brooding about it.		Because she had only done her duty halfway — because she dropped the torch before it was all done — she felt bad, so she kept brooding about it.

	She had to help out now, so there was no point in ~~thinking more about~~ it, Noriko thought as she loosened her grip on the broom handle. She ~~did not~~ feel like listening to Yumi-~~san~~'s request, however Shimako-san and Yoshino-~~san~~ made Noriko think twice.		She had to help out now, so there was no point in mulling over it, Noriko thought as she loosened her grip on the broom handle. She didn't feel like listening to Yumi-sama's request, however Shimako-san and Yoshino-sama made Noriko think twice.

	"What's wrong, Noriko-san?"		"What's wrong, Noriko-san?"

	"~~Ahhh.~~"		"Ah!"

	Touko brought her face close enough to Noriko to kiss her, as ~~Noriko~~ daydreamed. Suddenly seeing Touko's face made Noriko jump back.		Touko brought her face close enough to Noriko to kiss her as she daydreamed. Suddenly seeing Touko's face made Noriko jump back.

	"Well, I'm sorry. You had been ~~brushing~~ the same place with the broom for a while now, so I took that as a sign that something was going wrong."		"Well, I'm sorry. You had been sweeping the same place with the broom for a while now, so I took that as a sign that something was going wrong." <!-- Note 3 -->

	"... I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something."		"... I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something."
Line 774:		Line 774:
	"I see."		"I see."

	Touko said nothing more as she took out her dustpan and put in the ~~dust~~ that Noriko had collected earlier and put it into the trash.		Touko said nothing more as she took out her dustpan and put in the dirt that Noriko had collected earlier and put it into the trash.

	[[Image:MM_v20_049.jpg\|thumb]]		[[Image:MM_v20_049.jpg\|thumb]]
Line 782:		Line 782:
	"Hm?"		"Hm?"

	Her two ~~bannana~~ curls of hair bobbed up and down as she looked up.		Her two banana curls of hair bobbed up and down as she looked up.

	"What do you think of Yumi-~~san~~?"		"What do you think of Yumi-sama?"

	"Hmmmm."		"Hmmmm."
Line 790:		Line 790:
	"Her face is never still, her mood is always plain. But her heart is with the people, so her head's just a scatterbrain."		"Her face is never still, her mood is always plain. But her heart is with the people, so her head's just a scatterbrain."

	Each of her lines began with an 'H' sound, and ended with a rhyme. Only the third rhyme was off.<~~!--~~(S: The original Japanese had Touko start short sentences with the 'O' sound, and only her last sentence did not rhyme.)-->		Each of her lines began with an 'H' sound, and ended with a rhyme. Only the third rhyme was off. <ref>(S: The original Japanese had Touko start short sentences with the 'O' sound, and only her last sentence did not rhyme.)</ref>

	"She is, but she's still pretty popular with the first years."		"She is, but she's still pretty popular with the first years."
Line 798:		Line 798:
	Noriko smiled.		Noriko smiled.

	Unlike Yumi-sama, Touko would purposefully misunderstand her questions, and would throw your questions back at you. She understood what Noriko ~~had~~ wanted to say, but she probably was dodging because she did not want to answer.		Unlike Yumi-sama, Touko would purposefully misunderstand her questions, and would throw your questions back at you. She understood what Noriko wanted to say, but she probably was dodging because she did not want to answer.

	But ever since she had learned that lesson, she ~~had learned to~~ not give up asking questions ~~that~~ she wanted answered.<!--(R: This probably refers to an earlier incident where Noriko was revealed to have a Juzu in her bag, which she was borrowing from Shimako. The incident was used by the Roses to make Shimako more comfortable about her Buddhist background, while being at a Catholic school.)-->		But ever since she had learned that lesson, Noriko understood that she could not give up asking the questions she wanted answered.<!--(R: This probably refers to an earlier incident where Noriko was revealed to have a Juzu in her bag, which she was borrowing from Shimako. The incident was used by the Roses to make Shimako more comfortable about her Buddhist background, while being at a Catholic school.)-->

	"Did you think that I had wanted to be Yumi-sama's petite ~~soeur~~?"		"Did you think that I had wanted to be Yumi-sama's petite s&oelig;ur?"

	Touko said, as she revealed an anger in her face that Noriko had not seen before.		Touko said, as she revealed an anger in her face that Noriko had not seen before.
Line 808:		Line 808:
	"That's why I was asking. Did I do anything wrong?"		"That's why I was asking. Did I do anything wrong?"

	Noriko winced from Touko's anger~~. But~~ Touko herself did not seem to notice it. It was just that, a hidden part of Touko's soul had just been opened up, which is why she reacted so violently to Noriko's innocent question.		Noriko winced from Touko's anger, but Touko herself did not seem to notice it. It was just that, a hidden part of Touko's soul had just been opened up, which was why she reacted so violently to Noriko's innocent question.

	As the two eyed each other, their classmates began to bunch up around them. Students who had stayed after school, students who had clubs to attend, and even conspicuously tall girls. They would stop, say a polite "Gokigenyou", look down at their watch, flutter their hair around, and then run off into the hallways.		As the two eyed each other, their classmates began to bunch up around them. Students who had stayed after school, students who had clubs to attend, and even conspicuously tall girls. They would stop, say a polite "Gokigenyou," look down at their watch, flutter their hair around, and then run off into the hallways.

	"I want to help you out, Touko."		"I want to help you out, Touko."

	Noriko said honestly ~~to Touko~~. When Noriko had asked Yumi-sama "Are you sure I should help out?", neither Kanako-san nor anyone else had come to mind and caused her hesitation. Touko was the one.		Noriko said honestly. When Noriko had asked Yumi-sama "Are you sure I should help out?" neither Kanako-san nor anyone else had come to mind and caused her hesitation — Touko was the one.

	Maybe Noriko should have asked "Are you sure I should help out?" to Touko instead of Yumi-sama. She would have told Touko about the opportunity to audition ~~soeurs~~ and asked "Do you want to join in?"		Maybe Noriko should have asked "Are you sure I should help out?" to Touko instead of Yumi-sama. She would have told Touko about the opportunity to audition s&oelig;urs and asked "Do you want to join in?"

	"I need no strength from you, Noriko-san."		"I need no strength from you, Noriko-san."

	As Noriko watched Touko coldly ~~turn~~ and leave the room, she found herself somehow understanding Touko's reaction.		As Noriko watched Touko turn coldly and leave the room, she found herself somehow understanding Touko's reaction.

	".... Touko."		"... Touko."

	Noriko did not say anything else aloud, but the thought echoed in her mind.		Noriko did not say anything else aloud, but the thought echoed in her mind.



	===Part 6===		===Part 6===

Leviticus: Part 4 cleanup and polish

2016-10-18T08:23:23Z

Part 4 cleanup and polish

Show changes