Shinrei Tantei Yakumo:Volume 1 Chapter 1 - Revision history

66.25.31.198 at 18:43, 13 March 2011

2011-03-13T18:43:33Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:43, 13 March 2011
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	At the edge of the college campus, there’s a forest. The forest isn’t an unnatural sight, because mountains ~~surrounded~~ the college.		At the edge of the college campus, there’s a forest. The forest isn’t an unnatural sight, because mountains surround the college.

	Deep within the forest, there’s a house made of concrete, why it was built in the first place, no one knows, but now it’s nothing more than an abandoned house.		Deep within the forest, there’s a house made of concrete, why it was built in the first place, no one knows, but now it’s nothing more than an abandoned house.

66.25.31.198: grammar edits in the intro and part 1

2011-03-13T18:40:42Z

grammar edits in the intro and part 1

222.110.5.203: Add links to the next chapters.

2011-03-08T07:05:35Z

Add links to the next chapters.

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:05, 8 March 2011
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	Finishing, Haruka closed the door and left the room.		Finishing, Haruka closed the door and left the room.

			<noinclude>
			{\| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
			\|-
			\| Back to [[Shinrei_Tantei_Yakumo:Volume_1_Prologue\|Prologue]]
			\| Return to [[Shinrei_Tantei_Yakumo\|Main Page]]
			\| Forward to [[Shinrei_Tantei_Yakumo:Volume_1_File_2\|Chapter 2]]
			\|-
			\|}
			</noinclude>

Angelanime: changed "Kazehiko" to "Kazuhiko"

2011-03-06T13:36:43Z

changed "Kazehiko" to "Kazuhiko"

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:36, 6 March 2011
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	But Yuri woke up, she desperately wanted to escape, but God doesn’t listen to people’s wishes, and in the end she couldn’t escape death.		But Yuri woke up, she desperately wanted to escape, but God doesn’t listen to people’s wishes, and in the end she couldn’t escape death.

	Then, Takaoka heard about the abandoned house being demolished, panicking he moved the body somewhere else, and by accident he met Miki, ~~Kazehiko~~ and Yuichi who were doing a test of courage. The three of them took pictures of the place, and coincidently took pictures of Takaoka dragging the body.		Then, Takaoka heard about the abandoned house being demolished, panicking he moved the body somewhere else, and by accident he met Miki, Kazuhiko and Yuichi who were doing a test of courage. The three of them took pictures of the place, and coincidently took pictures of Takaoka dragging the body.

	Takaoka demanded Yuichi to give him the camera, but Yuichi told him that he had lost it, then Takaoka pushed Yuichi off the platform, forever silencing him, at night he snuck back to the abandoned and looked for the lost camera, where he met Yakumo and Haruka.		Takaoka demanded Yuichi to give him the camera, but Yuichi told him that he had lost it, then Takaoka pushed Yuichi off the platform, forever silencing him, at night he snuck back to the abandoned and looked for the lost camera, where he met Yakumo and Haruka.

27.32.255.112: Changed bears from "...as burly as a bears," to bear's

2011-03-06T06:47:53Z

Changed bears from "...as burly as a bears," to bear's

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:47, 6 March 2011
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	“You've really done a lot this time.”		“You've really done a lot this time.”

	A middle aged man said after writing down the statements, he walked out of the police station with Yakumo and Haruka, his body structure was as burly as a ~~bears~~, a loose tie, wrinkled shirt, he also had the same sleepy eyed look as Yakumo, but in his case it really was because of lack of sleep.		A middle aged man said after writing down the statements, he walked out of the police station with Yakumo and Haruka, his body structure was as burly as a bear's, a loose tie, wrinkled shirt, he also had the same sleepy eyed look as Yakumo, but in his case it really was because of lack of sleep.

	“Gotou-san.”		“Gotou-san.”

27.32.255.112: Changed You in "You really done a lot this time" to You've

2011-03-06T06:36:30Z

Changed You in "You really done a lot this time" to You've

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:36, 6 March 2011
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	Another thing, Yuri wasn’t really pregnant, she just wanted to keep Takaoka from leaving her, and because of that misunderstanding, three lives had been lost, it truly wasn’t worth it----		Another thing, Yuri wasn’t really pregnant, she just wanted to keep Takaoka from leaving her, and because of that misunderstanding, three lives had been lost, it truly wasn’t worth it----

	“You really done a lot this time.”		“You've really done a lot this time.”

	A middle aged man said after writing down the statements, he walked out of the police station with Yakumo and Haruka, his body structure was as burly as a bears, a loose tie, wrinkled shirt, he also had the same sleepy eyed look as Yakumo, but in his case it really was because of lack of sleep.		A middle aged man said after writing down the statements, he walked out of the police station with Yakumo and Haruka, his body structure was as burly as a bears, a loose tie, wrinkled shirt, he also had the same sleepy eyed look as Yakumo, but in his case it really was because of lack of sleep.

Ayatama: changed aksed to asked

2011-03-06T03:20:40Z

changed aksed to asked

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:20, 6 March 2011
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	Don’t go to a place where there aren’t people, when asking questions avoid the core problems, once she found out something call and tell him. This way, there wouldn’t the danger of getting attacked during daytime: after all that happened last night, Yakumo repeatedly urged her to be careful about her safety.		Don’t go to a place where there aren’t people, when asking questions avoid the core problems, once she found out something call and tell him. This way, there wouldn’t the danger of getting attacked during daytime: after all that happened last night, Yakumo repeatedly urged her to be careful about her safety.

	Haruka ran back and forth on the campus, finally she found Aizawa in the cafeteria---- he seemed to be skipping class, while he was drinking canned coffee he ~~aksed~~ people not to tell on him. The people came and went, there wouldn’t be a problem.		Haruka ran back and forth on the campus, finally she found Aizawa in the cafeteria---- he seemed to be skipping class, while he was drinking canned coffee he asked people not to tell on him. The people came and went, there wouldn’t be a problem.

	“Aizawa senpai.”		“Aizawa senpai.”

Ayatama: Changed "He has sharp years" to "He had sharp ears"

2011-03-06T03:07:06Z

Changed "He has sharp years" to "He had sharp ears"

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:07, 6 March 2011
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	“I heard most of your conversation.”		“I heard most of your conversation.”

	He has sharp ~~years~~. But, it was easier if he had heard them.		He has sharp ears. But, it was easier if he had heard them.

	“That spirit……Yuri’s boyfriend is Aizawa Testuro senpai.”		“That spirit……Yuri’s boyfriend is Aizawa Testuro senpai.”

Kira0802: Edited a part

2011-03-04T19:57:54Z

Edited a part

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:57, 4 March 2011
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	They only heard the sound of tree branches swaying in the wind.		They only heard the sound of tree branches swaying in the wind.

	“I didn’t hear anything.” Yuichi said.		“I didn’t hear anything.” Yuichi said.

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	Kazuhiko tried to open the lock, but to no avail.		Kazuhiko tried to open the lock, but to no avail.

	“Thankfully I specially prepared for things like this, watch and learn!”		“Thankfully I specially prepared myself for things like this, watch and learn!”(!)<!--E/N : Is it prepared myself or was prepared? Anyways I putted prepared myself, so change it if it's wrong.-->

	Yuichi took out a hook like metal part from his pants pocket.		Yuichi took out a hook like metal part from his pants pocket.
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	Miki tightly grasped Kazuhiko’s hand like she was hiding.		Miki tightly grasped Kazuhiko’s hand like she was hiding.

	The three of them stared into the darkness, but couldn’t see a thing; darkness coated the whole room making it impossible for them to see.		The three of them stared into the darkness, but couldn’t see a thing; darkness coated the whole room, making it impossible for them to see.

	“There’s nothing there, don’t worry.”		“There’s nothing there, don’t worry.”
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	After Kazuhiko assured Miki, he began to move alongside the walls.		After Kazuhiko assured Miki, he began to move alongside the walls.

	“Hey, if anything happens, you have to protect me, ok?” Miki ~~said~~ while holding onto Kazuhiko’s hand.		“Hey, if anything happens, you have to protect me, ok?” said Miki while holding onto Kazuhiko’s hand.

	“Ok, leave it to me.”		“Ok, leave it to me.”
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	“It’s too dark, can’t see a thing.”		“It’s too dark, can’t see a thing.”

	When Kazuhiko was about to give up……		When Kazuhiko was about to give up…… (!)<!--I would use 'just as' Kazuhiko...-->


	Kacha!		Kacha!
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	Haruka confirmed the nameplate before knocking, but no one answered. She added a, “good morning.” But still no one answered. Even though she knew it was impolite, she opened the door and peeked inside.		Haruka confirmed the nameplate before knocking, but no one answered. She added a, “good morning.” But still no one answered. Even though she knew it was impolite, she opened the door and peeked inside.

	When the door opened, Haruka found herself staring at a tall slender man. A sloppy white shirt hung onto the man’s body, and his hair curled up so high that it looked ~~like~~ he just woke up. And although it was recently popular for people to have a casual tousled hairstyle, this man’s hair was obviously like this because he didn’t comb his hair after waking up. Pale as snow cheeks, he was still sleepy eyed, so being glared by him like that, made Haruka speechless.		When the door opened, Haruka found herself staring at a tall slender man. A sloppy white shirt hung onto the man’s body, and his hair curled up so high that it looked as if he just woke up. And although it was recently popular for people to have a casual tousled hairstyle, this man’s hair was obviously like this because he didn’t comb his hair after waking up. Pale as snow cheeks, he was still sleepy eyed, so being glared by him like that made Haruka speechless.

	“Hi……Excuse me……”		“Hi……Excuse me……”

	“Close the door once you get inside.” The man said, interrupting Haruka.		“Close the door once you'll get inside.” The man said, interrupting Haruka.

	Haruka could only obey, getting inside she closed the door.		Haruka could only obey, getting inside as she closed the door.

	~~Besides~~ that man, there were two other men. The two were looking at their ~~card~~, not letting that man see their ~~card~~. It was a five of spades.		Beside that man, there were two other men. The two were looking at their cards, not letting that man see their cards. It was a five of spades.

	Haruka quickly moved from door~~, she~~ was about to sit on the chair that man pointed to, but she couldn’t help but wrinkle her eyebrows. He dared to make people sit on a chair like that! On the seat there was a thick layer of dust, it was so thick that it was impossible for people to guess its original color. And even though she was wearing jeans today, to make a girl sit on a chair like that, that guy sure had nerves! Haruka stood waiting, without saying a word.		Haruka quickly moved from door. She was about to sit on the chair that man pointed to, but she couldn’t help but wrinkle her eyebrows. He dared to make people sit on a chair like that! On the seat there was a thick layer of dust, it was so thick that it was impossible for people to guess its original color. And even though she was wearing jeans today, to make a girl sit on a chair like that, that guy sure had nerves! Haruka stood waiting, without saying a word.

	The man closed his eyes, fingers rubbing his eyebrows, as if he was thinking about something. Not long after, he opened his eyes and murmured.		The man closed his eyes, fingers rubbing his eyebrows, as if he was thinking about something. Not long after, he opened his eyes and murmured.
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	Cursing, he took out a thousand yen from his pocket, threw it onto the desk and left the room.		Cursing, he took out a thousand yen from his pocket, threw it onto the desk and left the room.

	“Please sit, you have something you want to tell me?”		“Please sit, do you have something you want to tell me?”

	Asked the man after yawning and putting the money in his pocket.		Asked the man after yawning and putting the money in his pocket.
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	Yakumo wanted her to continue.		Yakumo wanted her to continue.

	~~“Truth~~ is, my seminar senpai introduced me here.”		“The truth is, my seminar senpai introduced me here.”

	“Who?”		“Who?”

	“Aizawa senpai.”		“Aizawa-senpai.”

	“I don’t know him, who is he?”		“I don’t know him, who is he?”
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	“Never mind, who told you about here doesn’t matter. Just tell me why you need my help.”		“Never mind, who told you about here doesn’t matter. Just tell me why you need my help.”

	“Yea……It’s like this, I have a friend who’s in big trouble, and I heard that Saitou-san is very knowledgeable about things like ~~this~~, so I thought you could help her……”		“Yea……It’s like this, I have a friend who’s in big trouble, and I heard that Saitou-san is very knowledgeable about things like these, so I thought you could help her……” (!)<!--If I remember well, it SHOULD be 'these' but I'm not sure abot it.-->

	“If you summarize it that much I can’t understand what you mean. What do you mean by ‘things like this’?”		“If you summarize it that much I can’t understand what you mean. What do you mean by ‘things like this’?”

Angelanime: minor changes

2011-03-04T19:38:03Z

minor changes

Show changes

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:40, 13 March 2011
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	At the edge of the college campus, there’s a forest. The forest ~~wasn’t~~ an unnatural sight, because mountains surrounded the college.		At the edge of the college campus, there’s a forest. The forest isn’t an unnatural sight, because mountains surrounded the college.

	Deep within the forest, there’s a house made of concrete, why was it built in the first place, no one knows, ~~know~~ it’s nothing more than an abandoned house.		Deep within the forest, there’s a house made of concrete, why it was built in the first place, no one knows, but now it’s nothing more than an abandoned house.

	Because it’s situated on the outskirts of the forest, students ~~won’t~~ even know it exists if they follow school regulations.		Because it’s situated on the outskirts of the forest, students wouldn't even know it exists if they follow school regulations.

	But there have always been rumors of ghosts haunting in the abandoned house.		But there have always been rumors of ghosts haunting in the abandoned house.

	There was once a student who saw a human shadow near the abandoned house, after chasing it for a while the human shadow disappeared into thin air! Another student, while passing through the abandoned house, heard painful shouting, yelling, “Help me, help me.”		There was once a student who saw a human shadow near the abandoned house; after chasing it for a while the human shadow disappeared into thin air! Another student, while passing through the abandoned house, heard painful shouting, yelling, “Help me, help me.”
	Other students say that the shouting wasn’t “help me”, but a malediction of evil, cursing, “I want to kill you.”		Other students say that the shouting wasn’t “help me”, but a malediction of evil, cursing, “I want to kill you.”

	Just like that, rumors about the abandoned house became widely known.		Just like that, rumors about the abandoned house became widely known.

	Inside the abandoned house there’s a locked room~~, the~~ iron door to the room is firmly locked: No one knows what’s inside the room, because all who went in, never came out.		Inside the abandoned house there’s a locked room. The iron door to the room is firmly locked: No one knows what’s inside the room, because all who went in, never came out.


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	Cool, crisp wind blew away the clouds, and the blue white moon, was clearly visible in the night sky.		Cool, crisp wind blew away the clouds, and the blue white moon was clearly visible in the night sky.

	Tonight was a full moon.		Tonight was a full moon.
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	“Let’s see if the rumors are true.”		“Let’s see if the rumors are true.”

	Miki suggested, Kazuhiko and Yuichi simultaneously agreed. They crept into darkness of the campus.		Miki suggested. Kazuhiko and Yuichi simultaneously agreed. They crept into darkness of the campus.

	Over the gate, through the dorms, they arrived at the forest.		Over the gate, through the dorms, they arrived at the forest.
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	“Did you guys hear something?”		“Did you guys hear something?”

	Miki looked around, Kazuhiko and Yuichi also looked around, listening.		Miki looked around. Kazuhiko and Yuichi also looked around, listening.

	Rustle rustle.		Rustle rustle.
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	“On the internet, I’ll tell you the address next time, let’s go in first.”		“On the internet, I’ll tell you the address next time, let’s go in first.”

	Kazuhiko and Yuichi entered the house first, ~~Miki~~ hating to be left behind, hurried to catch up to them.		Kazuhiko and Yuichi entered the house first. Miki, hating to be left behind, hurried to catch up to them.

	Cold wind poured into the house, stirring up the thick layer of dirt from the floor~~, compared~~ to outside, the house was much warmer, but it was so dark that they couldn’t even see their hands.		Cold wind poured into the house, stirring up the thick layer of dirt from the floor. Compared to outside, the house was much warmer, but it was so dark that they couldn’t even see their hands.

	Kazuhiko lit the lighter, but the wavering flame couldn’t even let them see the room.		Kazuhiko lit the lighter, but the wavering flame couldn’t even let them see the room.

	Suddenly a white light flashed, Miki jumped out of fear. Yuichi couldn’t help but smirk at Miki’s frightened expression, because that light was from his camera flash.		Suddenly a white light flashed, and Miki jumped out of fear. Yuichi couldn’t help but smirk at Miki’s frightened expression, because that light was from his camera flash.

	“We should go back.” Miki said.		“We should go back.” Miki said.
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	They went through the front door into the room, then crossed a room that as wide as a building floor, advancing into the corridors.		They went through the front door into the room, then crossed a room that as wide as a building floor, advancing into the corridors.
	The corridor was barely wide enough to fit two people~~, the~~ side by side doors had the same distance between them, on the other side of the doors there was a room as big as four tatamis~~, there~~ was nothing else inside the rooms except for a bed.		The corridor was barely wide enough to fit two people. The side-by-side doors had the same distance between them, and on the other side of the doors, there was a room as big as four tatamis. There was nothing else inside the rooms except for a bed.

	The three of them felt the walls as they walked forward; their destination was the locked room.		The three of them felt the walls as they walked forward; their destination was the locked room.
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	They walked along the corridor all the way to the end; finally they were at their destination.		They walked along the corridor all the way to the end; finally they were at their destination.

	The room sent chills up their spines~~, it~~ was different than other rooms, the iron door seemed heavier, and there were iron lattices on the door.		The room sent chills up their spines. It was different than other rooms: the iron door seemed heavier, and there were iron lattices on the door.

	Besides a lock, there were also heavy chains and on top of all that was a password padlock.		Besides a lock, there were also heavy chains, and on top of all that was a password padlock.

	“There’s no way that I can unlock this one.” Yuichi said when he saw it.		“There’s no way that I can unlock this one.” Yuichi said when he saw it.
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	Kacha!		Kacha!

	In the midst of the darkness, there was something moving, in the corner of the room, the place with the darkest shadows. Kazuhiko stared intently at that spot.		In the midst of the darkness, there was something moving in the corner of the room, the place with the darkest shadows. Kazuhiko stared intently at that spot.

	It was eyes!		It was eyes!

	Kazuhiko and the creature in the darkness stared at each other; in the darkness the eyes were abnormal: blood vessels showed on the eyes, they seemed to devour everything; the eyes were full of hatred.		Kazuhiko and the creature in the darkness stared at each other; in the darkness the eyes were abnormal: blood vessels showed on the eyes, and they seemed to devour everything; the eyes were full of hatred.

	Kazuhiko let out a blood curdling shriek, and when he hastened to retreat he fell on his back.		Kazuhiko let out a blood-curdling shriek, and when he hastened to retreat he fell on his back.

	“What’s wrong, what happened?”		“What’s wrong, what happened?”

	Kazuhiko ignored the question; a look of extreme horror came across his face. He began to speak, but his breath came out in short gasps~~, his~~ couldn’t speak, a constant rasping noise rose up his throat.		Kazuhiko ignored the question; a look of extreme horror came across his face. He began to speak, but his breath came out in short gasps. He couldn’t speak; a constant rasping noise rose up his throat.

	With the help of Yuichi, he was finally able to stand up.		With the help of Yuichi, he was finally able to stand up.

	“What did you see?” Yuichi asked.		“What did you see?” Yuichi asked.

	Kazuhiko turned to the door, Yuichi also turned~~, in~~ the next moment, they were frozen, transfixed.		Kazuhiko turned to the door. Yuichi also turned. In the next moment, they were frozen, transfixed.

	From a gap behind iron lattice a pale white hand reached out~~, that~~ inhuman like hand seized Miki’s shoulder.		From a gap behind the iron lattice, a pale white hand reached out. That inhuman-like hand seized Miki’s shoulder.

	Miki was scared to death. Kazuhiko and Yuichi were in front of her, so who was grasping her shoulder? She didn’t have the courage to turn her head and see who the hand belonged to~~, it~~ was as if the blood from her body was drained, she couldn’t even scream.		Miki was scared to death. Kazuhiko and Yuichi were in front of her, so who was grasping her shoulder? She didn’t have the courage to turn her head and see who the hand belonged to. It was as if the blood from her body was drained; she couldn’t even scream.

	Miki struggled to reach out for help~~, her~~ hands were shaking, but Yuichi and Kazuhiko were already scared stiff, they couldn’t move.		Miki struggled to reach out for help. Her hands were shaking, but Yuichi and Kazuhiko were already scared stiff; they couldn’t move.

	~~“…….I’m~~ begging you….Help me……” Miki said in a hoarse voice.		“……I’m begging you… Help me……” Miki said in a hoarse voice.

	Yuichi reached out, trying to pull Miki away from the door.		Yuichi reached out, trying to pull Miki away from the door.
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	“Uwa------“		“Uwa------“

	Kazuhiko and Yuichi’s ~~mind~~ suddenly blanked out, after screaming bloody murder, they ran not even looking back.		Kazuhiko and Yuichi’s minds suddenly blanked out, after screaming bloody murder, they ran not even looking back.

	“Wait, don’t leave me alone!”		“Wait, don’t leave me alone!”

	Miki couldn’t let out the grief in her heart, no one heard her…		Miki couldn’t let out the grief in her heart; no one heard her…

	However, this is only the beginning of the incident.		However, this is only the beginning of the incident.