Talk:Cross x Regalia:Volume 1 Prologue - Revision history

Multipartite: (Minor alternations to own written text.)

2013-06-04T07:07:42Z

(Minor alternations to own written text.)

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:07, 4 June 2013
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	You mean you don't understand or the line seems awkward? It should be correct as far as I can remember and doesn't seem off to me. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 20:45, 23 May 2013 (CDT)		You mean you don't understand or the line seems awkward? It should be correct as far as I can remember and doesn't seem off to me. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 20:45, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

	Some possible change suggestions:~~<br>~~		Some possible change suggestions:
	<br>\|<br>		<br>\|<br>
	'You won't like to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger right?' -> 'You wouldn't want to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger, right?'		'You won't like to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger right?' -> 'You wouldn't want to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger, right?'
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	'just nice': If 'choudo ii', to perhaps 'perfect timing' or 'great timing' or 'wonderful' or similar.		'just nice': If 'choudo ii', to perhaps 'perfect timing' or 'great timing' or 'wonderful' or similar.
	<br>\|<br>		<br>\|<br>
	'found your outstretched hand' noted above, to perhaps 'found your outstretched hand in front of me' or a more literal translation of the text. Assuming the text isn't '[...]nobashita te wo mitsuketa.', it may be worth checking the exact phrasing used in the original.		'I found your outstretched hand' noted above, to perhaps 'I found your outstretched hand in front of me' or a more literal translation of the text. Ah, or maybe 'there was your outstretched hand'. Assuming the text isn't '[...]nobashita te wo mitsuketa.', it may be worth checking the exact phrasing used in the original.
	<br>\|<br>		<br>\|<br>
	'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, grasped your warm hand, and told you my name?', to 'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, did I grasp your warm hand, and tell you my name?'. Ah, and also 'to lift even a finger' to 'to even lift a finger', to be consistent with the earlier 'I found it troublesome to even blink, let alone move a single finger'. ('lifting' within 'things difficult', rather than 'things difficult' within 'lifting'.)		'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, grasped your warm hand, and told you my name?', to 'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, did I grasp your warm hand, and tell you my name?'. Ah, and also 'to lift even a finger' to 'to even lift a finger', to be consistent with the earlier 'I found it troublesome to even blink, let alone move a single finger'. ('lifting' within 'things difficult', rather than 'things difficult' within 'lifting'.)

Multipartite: Some possible change suggestions.

2013-06-04T07:04:58Z

Some possible change suggestions.

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:04, 4 June 2013
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	You mean you don't understand or the line seems awkward? It should be correct as far as I can remember and doesn't seem off to me. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 20:45, 23 May 2013 (CDT)		You mean you don't understand or the line seems awkward? It should be correct as far as I can remember and doesn't seem off to me. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 20:45, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

			Some possible change suggestions:<br>
			<br>\|<br>
			'You won't like to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger right?' -> 'You wouldn't want to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger, right?'
			<br>\|<br>
			'fella' or fellow are predominantly male terms, so it may be worth replacing it with a more neutral term, depending on the original word.
			<br>\|<br>
			'just nice': If 'choudo ii', to perhaps 'perfect timing' or 'great timing' or 'wonderful' or similar.
			<br>\|<br>
			'found your outstretched hand' noted above, to perhaps 'found your outstretched hand in front of me' or a more literal translation of the text. Assuming the text isn't '[...]nobashita te wo mitsuketa.', it may be worth checking the exact phrasing used in the original.
			<br>\|<br>
			'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, grasped your warm hand, and told you my name?', to 'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, did I grasp your warm hand, and tell you my name?'. Ah, and also 'to lift even a finger' to 'to even lift a finger', to be consistent with the earlier 'I found it troublesome to even blink, let alone move a single finger'. ('lifting' within 'things difficult', rather than 'things difficult' within 'lifting'.)
			<br>\|<br>
			'All my life up till now[...]was the most precious thing to me.' to probably 'Of all my life up till now[...]is the most precious thing to me.'. The tricky part here is not letting it sound as though it had constantly been the most precious thing to her throughout her life.
			<br>-[[User:Multipartite\|Multipartite]] ([[User talk:Multipartite\|talk]]) 02:04, 4 June 2013 (CDT)

Larethian at 01:45, 24 May 2013

2013-05-24T01:45:44Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:45, 24 May 2013
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	Something seems off about that line. --[[User:Bilagaana\|Bilagaana]] ([[User talk:Bilagaana\|talk]]) 15:11, 23 May 2013 (CDT)		Something seems off about that line. --[[User:Bilagaana\|Bilagaana]] ([[User talk:Bilagaana\|talk]]) 15:11, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

			You mean you don't understand or the line seems awkward? It should be correct as far as I can remember and doesn't seem off to me. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 20:45, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

Bilagaana at 20:11, 23 May 2013

2013-05-23T20:11:19Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:11, 23 May 2013
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	The next moment, I found your outstretched hand.		The next moment, I found your outstretched hand.
	Something seems off about that line.
			Something seems off about that line. --[[User:Bilagaana\|Bilagaana]] ([[User talk:Bilagaana\|talk]]) 15:11, 23 May 2013 (CDT)

Bilagaana at 20:10, 23 May 2013

2013-05-23T20:10:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:10, 23 May 2013
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	Hm, yes, but I totally forgot about making the project page. Good job finding it lol. Now, someone less lazy than me can volunteer making the project page lol. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 14:06, 11 September 2012 (CDT)		Hm, yes, but I totally forgot about making the project page. Good job finding it lol. Now, someone less lazy than me can volunteer making the project page lol. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 14:06, 11 September 2012 (CDT)

			The next moment, I found your outstretched hand.
			Something seems off about that line.

Larethian at 19:06, 11 September 2012

2012-09-11T19:06:50Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:06, 11 September 2012
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	Shouldnt this page be a part of a teaser project? --[[User:Darklor\|Darklor]] ([[User talk:Darklor\|talk]]) 04:44, 11 September 2012 (CDT)		Shouldnt this page be a part of a teaser project? --[[User:Darklor\|Darklor]] ([[User talk:Darklor\|talk]]) 04:44, 11 September 2012 (CDT)

			Hm, yes, but I totally forgot about making the project page. Good job finding it lol. Now, someone less lazy than me can volunteer making the project page lol. --[[User:Larethian\|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian\|talk]]) 14:06, 11 September 2012 (CDT)

Darklor at 09:44, 11 September 2012

2012-09-11T09:44:57Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:44, 11 September 2012
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	Shouldnt this page be a part of a teaser project?		Shouldnt this page be a part of a teaser project? --[[User:Darklor\|Darklor]] ([[User talk:Darklor\|talk]]) 04:44, 11 September 2012 (CDT)

Darklor: New: talk page

2012-09-11T09:44:36Z

New: talk page

New page

Shouldnt this page be a part of a teaser project?