Talk:Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance:Volume2 Chapter2 - Revision history

Asiorx22: /* Tautology */

2013-05-30T18:54:33Z

Tautology

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:54, 30 May 2013
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	== Tautology ==		== Tautology ==

	Claire over-'''relied''' on her strength and chased her opponents too far and Kamito too could not '''rely'''		Claire over-'''''relied''''' on her strength and chased her opponents too far and Kamito too could not '''''rely'''''

	'She betrayed the Elemental Lord, disappeared, and brought about an unprecedented great '''calamity''' to the empire- The '''Calamity''' Queen'		'She betrayed the Elemental Lord, disappeared, and brought about an unprecedented great '''''calamity''''' to the empire- The '''''Calamity''''' Queen'

	'''Kamito''' nodded and '''there'''-		'''''Kamito''''' nodded and '''''there'''''-
	"Ah, everyone, having lunch?"		"Ah, everyone, having lunch?"
	A cool but elegant voice was heard.		A cool but elegant voice was heard.
	'''Kamito''' turned around. And '''there'''—		'''''Kamito''''' turned around. And '''''there'''''—

Asiorx22: /* Tautology */ new section

2013-05-30T18:53:24Z

Tautology: new section

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:53, 30 May 2013
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	Or rather parts of a sentence. For example 'The three of them were sitting and having a slightly late lunch at a round table near a window'. It's is not difficult to understend what is written, but... let's call it, the conection between words is gone. We know that the tree of them were sitting at a table and having a lunch there so the it should sound like 'The three of them were sitting at a round table near a window and having a slightly late lunch'. I think there was a rule about this kind of stuff, but can't remember it.		Or rather parts of a sentence. For example 'The three of them were sitting and having a slightly late lunch at a round table near a window'. It's is not difficult to understend what is written, but... let's call it, the conection between words is gone. We know that the tree of them were sitting at a table and having a lunch there so the it should sound like 'The three of them were sitting at a round table near a window and having a slightly late lunch'. I think there was a rule about this kind of stuff, but can't remember it.
	Anyway, does anyone else thinks it sounds smoother this way.		Anyway, does anyone else thinks it sounds smoother this way.

			== Tautology ==

			Claire over-'''relied''' on her strength and chased her opponents too far and Kamito too could not '''rely'''

			'She betrayed the Elemental Lord, disappeared, and brought about an unprecedented great '''calamity''' to the empire- The '''Calamity''' Queen'

			'''Kamito''' nodded and '''there'''-
			"Ah, everyone, having lunch?"
			A cool but elegant voice was heard.
			'''Kamito''' turned around. And '''there'''—

Asiorx22: /* The order of words */

2013-05-30T17:47:26Z

The order of words

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:47, 30 May 2013
Line 9:		Line 9:

	Or rather parts of a sentence. For example 'The three of them were sitting and having a slightly late lunch at a round table near a window'. It's is not difficult to understend what is written, but... let's call it, the conection between words is gone. We know that the tree of them were sitting at a table and having a lunch there so the it should sound like 'The three of them were sitting at a round table near a window and having a slightly late lunch'. I think there was a rule about this kind of stuff, but can't remember it.		Or rather parts of a sentence. For example 'The three of them were sitting and having a slightly late lunch at a round table near a window'. It's is not difficult to understend what is written, but... let's call it, the conection between words is gone. We know that the tree of them were sitting at a table and having a lunch there so the it should sound like 'The three of them were sitting at a round table near a window and having a slightly late lunch'. I think there was a rule about this kind of stuff, but can't remember it.
			Anyway, does anyone else thinks it sounds smoother this way.

Asiorx22: /* unnecessary words */

2013-05-30T17:45:33Z

unnecessary words

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:45, 30 May 2013
Line 1:		Line 1:
	For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or under his chin?		For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or under his chin?

	== ~~unnecessary~~ words ==		== Unnecessary words ==

Asiorx22: /* The order of words */ new section

2013-05-30T17:45:20Z

The order of words: new section

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:45, 30 May 2013
Line 5:		Line 5:

	There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'. Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?		There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'. Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?

			== The order of words ==

			Or rather parts of a sentence. For example 'The three of them were sitting and having a slightly late lunch at a round table near a window'. It's is not difficult to understend what is written, but... let's call it, the conection between words is gone. We know that the tree of them were sitting at a table and having a lunch there so the it should sound like 'The three of them were sitting at a round table near a window and having a slightly late lunch'. I think there was a rule about this kind of stuff, but can't remember it.

Asiorx22: /* unnecessary words */

2013-05-30T17:36:04Z

unnecessary words

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:36, 30 May 2013
Line 3:		Line 3:
	== unnecessary words ==		== unnecessary words ==

	There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'. Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?
			There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'. Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?

Asiorx22: /* unnecessary words */

2013-05-30T17:34:39Z

unnecessary words

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:34, 30 May 2013
Line 3:		Line 3:
	== unnecessary words ==		== unnecessary words ==

	There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'.		There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'. Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?
	Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?

Asiorx22: /* unnecessary words */ new section

2013-05-30T17:33:13Z

unnecessary words: new section

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:33, 30 May 2013
Line 1:		Line 1:
	For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or under his chin?		For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or under his chin?

			== unnecessary words ==

			There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'.
			Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?

Monsterbandage: Created page with "For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or un..."

2013-03-13T16:08:44Z

Created page with "For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or un..."

New page

For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or under his chin?