Talk:This title is too long!:Volume1 Chapter2 - Revision history

Sir Trollface: Blanked the page

2016-11-02T05:05:47Z

Blanked the page

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:05, 2 November 2016
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	~~== Edit and proofread for part 2 ==~~
	~~Can the translator please re-check the raws for the following paragraphs? There seems to be quite a few of grammatical and proofread errors, here are the ones I found that needs editing:~~

	* I can't try to make any girl happy even if I tried talking to me. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.
	* Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, good if it doesn't happen.
	* Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I just had to observe them and record their actions.
	* The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of a story I should be writing'.
	* "The protagonist is a Middle School student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class.
	* I thought of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night. I could watch anime than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.

	~~Here are some possible fixes that I can apply if there are no problems from the raws:~~
	* I can't try to make any girl happy even I tried talking to one. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.
	~~::I used this fix since it's obvious the protagonist can't talk to himself if he wants to make any girl happy.~~
	* Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, it will be good if it doesn't happen.
	~~::The MC is narrating this in present time. Perhaps there is no need to add the "it will" since the author indicates that the MC just simply skipped a few words in this narration.~~
	* Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I thought I just had to observe them and record their actions.
	~~::The MC is narrating this event from the past. So "I thought" should be added right before "I just had to observe..."~~
	* The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of story I should be writing'.
	~~::Unnecessary 'a'~~
	* "The protagonist is a middle school student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class
	~~::"Middle School" is a common noun, not a proper noun. So it should be in small caps.~~
	* I though of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night. I could watch anime earlier than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.
	~~::For this last one, this is the fix I could suggest for now, the raws really need to be cross checked once more for this paragraph.~~

	~~And that's all I could find for now --[[User:Sir Trollface\|Sir Trollface]] ([[User talk:Sir Trollface\|talk]]) 10:55, 25 October 2016 (CEST)~~

Sir Trollface: Edit suggestions for volume 1 chapter 2 part 2

2016-10-25T08:55:55Z

Edit suggestions for volume 1 chapter 2 part 2

New page

== Edit and proofread for part 2 ==
Can the translator please re-check the raws for the following paragraphs? There seems to be quite a few of grammatical and proofread errors, here are the ones I found that needs editing:

* I can't try to make any girl happy even if I tried talking to me. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.
* Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, good if it doesn't happen.
* Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I just had to observe them and record their actions.
* The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of a story I should be writing'.
* "The protagonist is a Middle School student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class.
* I thought of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night. I could watch anime than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.

Here are some possible fixes that I can apply if there are no problems from the raws:
* I can't try to make any girl happy even I tried talking to one. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.
::I used this fix since it's obvious the protagonist can't talk to himself if he wants to make any girl happy.
* Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, it will be good if it doesn't happen.
::The MC is narrating this in present time. Perhaps there is no need to add the "it will" since the author indicates that the MC just simply skipped a few words in this narration.
* Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I thought I just had to observe them and record their actions.
::The MC is narrating this event from the past. So "I thought" should be added right before "I just had to observe..."
* The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of story I should be writing'.
::Unnecessary 'a'
* "The protagonist is a middle school student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class
::"Middle School" is a common noun, not a proper noun. So it should be in small caps.
* I though of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night. I could watch anime earlier than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.
::For this last one, this is the fix I could suggest for now, the raws really need to be cross checked once more for this paragraph.

And that's all I could find for now --[[User:Sir Trollface|Sir Trollface]] ([[User talk:Sir Trollface|talk]]) 10:55, 25 October 2016 (CEST)