Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 1 Coincidence - Revision history

EusthEnoptEron at 21:26, 22 July 2014

2014-07-22T21:26:37Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:26, 22 July 2014
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	(does this refer to the plastic bag?)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 04:44, 7 May 2014 (CDT)		(does this refer to the plastic bag?)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 04:44, 7 May 2014 (CDT)
			: Phrased this section differently now. It refers to the truck explosion. [[User:EusthEnoptEron\|EusthEnoptEron]] ([[User talk:EusthEnoptEron\|talk]]) 16:26, 22 July 2014 (CDT)

Idiffer at 09:44, 7 May 2014

2014-05-07T09:44:48Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:44, 7 May 2014
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	(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)		(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)
	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)

			"You were quite surprised by the explosion, right?"

			(does this refer to the plastic bag?)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 04:44, 7 May 2014 (CDT)

Idiffer at 10:33, 1 May 2012

2012-05-01T10:33:14Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:33, 1 May 2012
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	(while we have a similar expression in russia, i think "number" isn't used like that in english speaking countries.)		(while we have a similar expression in russia, i think "number" isn't used like that in english speaking countries.)
	: Mh... changed it to "so many beams were not to be dodged easily" for now. Feel free to change/correct if something comes to mind.		: Mh... changed it to "so many beams were not to be dodged easily" for now. Feel free to change/correct if something comes to mind.
	: *i'm really sorry, but i messed up here. i interpreted the meaning wrong. the original line was fine. though, the line you changed it to is imho slightly better.		:*i'm really sorry, but i messed up here. i interpreted the meaning wrong. the original line was fine. though, the line you changed it to is imho slightly better.
	'''This time they mattered five and charged at me at the same time.'''		'''This time they mattered five and charged at me at the same time.'''

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	(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)		(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)
	: Indeed. Changed it to "This dramatic encounter bent her feelings for me toward him". Perhaps something like "After this dramatic encounter, she felt for him what she had once felt for me."		: Indeed. Changed it to "This dramatic encounter bent her feelings for me toward him". Perhaps something like "After this dramatic encounter, she felt for him what she had once felt for me."
	: *i'll think about this one some more. but yeah, both of your variants are better than the original line.		:*i'll think about this one some more. but yeah, both of your variants are better than the original line.
	'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''		'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''

	(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)		(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)
	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)

Idiffer at 10:32, 1 May 2012

2012-05-01T10:32:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:32, 1 May 2012
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	(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)		(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)
	: Indeed. Changed it to "This dramatic encounter bent her feelings for me toward him". Perhaps something like "After this dramatic encounter, she felt for him what she had once felt for me."		: Indeed. Changed it to "This dramatic encounter bent her feelings for me toward him". Perhaps something like "After this dramatic encounter, she felt for him what she had once felt for me."
	:*i'll think about this one some more. but yeah, both of your variants are better than the original line.		: *i'll think about this one some more. but yeah, both of your variants are better than the original line.
	'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''		'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''

	(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)		(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)
	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)

Idiffer: answered

2012-05-01T10:31:13Z

answered

EusthEnoptEron at 22:43, 30 April 2012

2012-04-30T22:43:23Z

Idiffer: strange that very few other ppl editted this

2012-04-30T14:07:27Z

strange that very few other ppl editted this

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:07, 30 April 2012
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	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 07:38, 30 April 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 07:38, 30 April 2012 (CDT)

			'''straight toward my telephoning target.'''

			(...target, who talking on the phone?)

			'''It was more than thinkable that someone might not know the word "relic".'''

			(thinkable sounds weird. conceivable?)

			'''Indeed, that wasn't a number one could easily dodge.'''

			(while we have a similar expression in russia, i think "number" isn't used like that in english speaking countries.)

			'''This time they mattered five and charged at me at the same time.'''

			("mattered five" is probably wrong. what did u want to say? that there were 5 beams?)

			'''Instead, I heard a bright chink.'''

			("bright" is used to describe something visual, so if it's "heard", then "clear" or "sharp" or something.)

			'''This dramatic encounter changed her feelings from me to him.'''

			(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)

			'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''

			(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)

			--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)

Idiffer at 12:38, 30 April 2012

2012-04-30T12:38:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:38, 30 April 2012
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	(your reactions...between yours. or is this deliberate?)		(your reactions...between yours. or is this deliberate?)
	: Deliberate. Because "yours" would point to those Mineyama has created with the Pendolo.		: Deliberate. Because "yours" would point to those Mineyama has created with the Pendolo.
			::my bad, i forgot that that atobe wasn't the one with the pendolo.
			i'll probably edit all of chapter one in about 1,5 hours and upload it in it's entirety. there will also probably be more questions))

			--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 07:38, 30 April 2012 (CDT)

EusthEnoptEron at 12:30, 30 April 2012

2012-04-30T12:30:46Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:30, 30 April 2012
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	(your reactions...between yours. or is this deliberate?)		(your reactions...between yours. or is this deliberate?)
			: Deliberate. Because "yours" would point to those Mineyama has created with the Pendolo.

Idiffer at 12:23, 30 April 2012

2012-04-30T12:23:51Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:23, 30 April 2012
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	: Changed to "Barging against me or throwing a pillow"		: Changed to "Barging against me or throwing a pillow"
	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 06:16, 30 April 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 06:16, 30 April 2012 (CDT)


			'''"There's still more. Atobe's reactions to the accidents differed between hers and those that happened by chance.'''

			(your reactions...between yours. or is this deliberate?)

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:31, 1 May 2012
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	(thinkable sounds weird. conceivable?)		(thinkable sounds weird. conceivable?)
	: How about "perfectly possible"?		: How about "perfectly possible"?
			:*yeah, that's good.
	'''Indeed, that wasn't a number one could easily dodge.'''		'''Indeed, that wasn't a number one could easily dodge.'''

	(while we have a similar expression in russia, i think "number" isn't used like that in english speaking countries.)		(while we have a similar expression in russia, i think "number" isn't used like that in english speaking countries.)
	: Mh... changed it to "so many beams were not to be dodged easily" for now. Feel free to change/correct if something comes to mind.		: Mh... changed it to "so many beams were not to be dodged easily" for now. Feel free to change/correct if something comes to mind.
			: *i'm really sorry, but i messed up here. i interpreted the meaning wrong. the original line was fine. though, the line you changed it to is imho slightly better.
	'''This time they mattered five and charged at me at the same time.'''		'''This time they mattered five and charged at me at the same time.'''

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	(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)		(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)
	: Indeed. Changed it to "This dramatic encounter bent her feelings for me toward him". Perhaps something like "After this dramatic encounter, she felt for him what she had once felt for me."		: Indeed. Changed it to "This dramatic encounter bent her feelings for me toward him". Perhaps something like "After this dramatic encounter, she felt for him what she had once felt for me."
			:*i'll think about this one some more. but yeah, both of your variants are better than the original line.
	'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''		'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''

	(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)		(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)
	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:43, 30 April 2012
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	(...target, who talking on the phone?)		(...target, who talking on the phone?)
			: Changed to "target who was talking to someone on the phone".

	'''It was more than thinkable that someone might not know the word "relic".'''		'''It was more than thinkable that someone might not know the word "relic".'''

	(thinkable sounds weird. conceivable?)		(thinkable sounds weird. conceivable?)
			: How about "perfectly possible"?
	'''Indeed, that wasn't a number one could easily dodge.'''		'''Indeed, that wasn't a number one could easily dodge.'''

	(while we have a similar expression in russia, i think "number" isn't used like that in english speaking countries.)		(while we have a similar expression in russia, i think "number" isn't used like that in english speaking countries.)
			: Mh... changed it to "so many beams were not to be dodged easily" for now. Feel free to change/correct if something comes to mind.
	'''This time they mattered five and charged at me at the same time.'''		'''This time they mattered five and charged at me at the same time.'''

	("mattered five" is probably wrong. what did u want to say? that there were 5 beams?)		("mattered five" is probably wrong. what did u want to say? that there were 5 beams?)
			: Yup.
	'''Instead, I heard a bright chink.'''		'''Instead, I heard a bright chink.'''

	("bright" is used to describe something visual, so if it's "heard", then "clear" or "sharp" or something.)		("bright" is used to describe something visual, so if it's "heard", then "clear" or "sharp" or something.)
			: Ah, now that you mention it. Changed it to "clear" for now.
	'''This dramatic encounter changed her feelings from me to him.'''		'''This dramatic encounter changed her feelings from me to him.'''

	(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)		(from me to him. i think there is a much better way of saying this, but right now my mind is blank)
			: Indeed. Changed it to "This dramatic encounter bent her feelings for me toward him". Perhaps something like "After this dramatic encounter, she felt for him what she had once felt for me."
	'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''		'''Committing the accident murder of making her get run over by a rampaging car.'''

	(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)		(i changed a few instances of "accident murder" to "murder accident", but then i realised that i was operating on intuition alone. i don't know for a fact which is right.)

	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 09:07, 30 April 2012 (CDT)