Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 2 Silence - Revision history

EusthEnoptEron at 18:24, 18 September 2014

2014-09-18T18:24:27Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:24, 18 September 2014
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	(is she saying this in general (“people want something”) or referring to kadokura?)		(is she saying this in general (“people want something”) or referring to kadokura?)
			: She's referring to Kadokura. I slightly altered that passage now, but the wordplay still doesn't come across as well as in Japanese.

	'''"Certainly. I'm sorry, t..."'''		'''"Certainly. I'm sorry, t..."'''

	(what word is the person trying to finish?)		(what word is the person trying to finish?)
			: Probably I was meaning to write "too".

	'''<nowiki><span style="color: white">What's going on?</span></nowiki>'''		'''<nowiki><span style="color: white">What's going on?</span></nowiki>'''

	(you made the text invisible. How was this handled in the jap version, I wonder)		(you made the text invisible. How was this handled in the jap version, I wonder)
			: It was invisible, too. I made it white so that the space taken is equal to that of the actual sentence -- I changed it, though, since it's not so important.

	'''"That's what I've been telling you.<u> Any sound vanishes from the region it reflects</u>. The sounds from outside are completely deflected, and no sound can be produced within the area of reflection. In short, it creates a zone of complete silence."'''		'''"That's what I've been telling you.<u> Any sound vanishes from the region it reflects</u>. The sounds from outside are completely deflected, and no sound can be produced within the area of reflection. In short, it creates a zone of complete silence."'''

	(not how I usually see this constructed. so the underlined sentence means: “the mirror effects a region, so sound vanishes from that region” ? or is it about sound in general? or smth else entirely?)		(not how I usually see this constructed. so the underlined sentence means: “the mirror effects a region, so sound vanishes from that region” ? or is it about sound in general? or smth else entirely?)
			: I rephrased it. Might be a bit easier to understand now. In simple terms, if you can see yourself in the mirror, your inside the region it affects, i.e. there is no sound.
	'''I deliberately slammed the door shut. Even that sound resounded in my ears.'''		'''I deliberately slammed the door shut. Even that sound resounded in my ears.'''

	(I’d say if he was bothered by a sound like smth falling upstairs, then he shouldn’t be surprised that the sound of a door being slammed right in front of him wouldn’t be pleasant to his ears. So why the “even that” in the beginning of the second sentence?		(I’d say if he was bothered by a sound like smth falling upstairs, then he shouldn’t be surprised that the sound of a door being slammed right in front of him wouldn’t be pleasant to his ears. So why the “even that” in the beginning of the second sentence?
			: Fair point, but that's the literal translation. I slightly altered that passage in a way that makes more sense and still catches the nuance.

	'''I looked at the "Mirror of Serenity". It was no doubt there.'''<--EEE: is he confirming that it's still there and no one has taken it? -grrarr-->		'''I looked at the "Mirror of Serenity". It was no doubt there.'''<--EEE: is he confirming that it's still there and no one has taken it? -grrarr-->

	(yes, I want to know the answer to the question grarr posed here as well…)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:21, 16 September 2014 (CDT)		(yes, I want to know the answer to the question grarr posed here as well…)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:21, 16 September 2014 (CDT)
			: I suppose that he's confirming that it exists, that it belongs to him. That it wasn't a dream.

Idiffer: /* TL questions */

2014-09-16T20:26:14Z

TL questions

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:26, 16 September 2014
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	==TL questions==		==TL questions==

	--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:24, 16 September 2014 (CDT)"You don't want 'something'. You want 'a thing'."		'''"You don't want 'something'. You want 'a thing'."'''

	(is she saying this in general (“people want something”) or referring to kadokura?)		(is she saying this in general (“people want something”) or referring to kadokura?)

	--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:24, 16 September 2014 (CDT)"Certainly. I'm sorry, t..."		'''"Certainly. I'm sorry, t..."'''

	(what word is the person trying to finish?)		(what word is the person trying to finish?)

Idiffer: /* TL questions */

2014-09-16T20:24:37Z

TL questions

Idiffer at 20:21, 16 September 2014

2014-09-16T20:21:03Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:21, 16 September 2014
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	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)

			===TL questions===

			"You don't want 'something'. You want 'a thing'."
			(is she saying this in general (“people want something”) or referring to kadokura?)

			"Certainly. I'm sorry, t..."
			(what word is the person trying to finish?)

			<nowiki><span style="color: white">What's going on?</span></nowiki>
			(you made the text invisible. How was this handled in the jap version, I wonder)

			"That's what I've been telling you.<u> Any sound vanishes from the region it reflects</u>. The sounds from outside are completely deflected, and no sound can be produced within the area of reflection. In short, it creates a zone of complete silence."
			(not how I usually see this constructed. so the underlined sentence means: “the mirror effects a region, so sound vanishes from that region” ? or is it about sound in general? or smth else entirely?)

			I deliberately slammed the door shut. Even that sound resounded in my ears.
			(I’d say if he was bothered by a sound like smth falling upstairs, then he shouldn’t be surprised that the sound of a door being slammed right in front of him wouldn’t be pleasant to his ears. So why the “even that” in the beginning of the second sentence?


			I looked at the "Mirror of Serenity". It was no doubt there.<--EEE: is he confirming that it's still there and no one has taken it? -grrarr-->
			(yes, I want to know the answer to the question grarr posed here as well…)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:21, 16 September 2014 (CDT)

EusthEnoptEron at 09:43, 13 July 2012

2012-07-13T09:43:47Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:43, 13 July 2012
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	# Getting back to meanings: I lack context, but my best guess is that 'when I became generally accepted and could release my first record' should be something like 'when I became popular enough to release my first record,' but that starts to diverge from translation. Check in w/EEE?		# Getting back to meanings: I lack context, but my best guess is that 'when I became generally accepted and could release my first record' should be something like 'when I became popular enough to release my first record,' but that starts to diverge from translation. Check in w/EEE?
	# A clunky/overly lengthy temporary placeholder: 'I was overjoyed - I felt happier than when I became popular enough to release my first record,' -Grrarr		# A clunky/overly lengthy temporary placeholder: 'I was overjoyed - I felt happier than when I became popular enough to release my first record,' -Grrarr
			:<div style="border: 1px solid DarkKhaki; padding: 5px"><div style="background: Khaki;">[[User:EusthEnoptEron\|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:43, 13 July 2012 (CDT)</div>Should be fine - I like it better this way.</div>

	'''Was there a meaning in me getting off the train there?'''		'''Was there a meaning in me getting off the train there?'''
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	Yeah, this is a definitely a messy starting point. My best guess at the intended meaning (again, lacking TL input/I'm still phrasing it clunkily) would be something like:		Yeah, this is a definitely a messy starting point. My best guess at the intended meaning (again, lacking TL input/I'm still phrasing it clunkily) would be something like:
	'Would getting off the train be a meaningful act? Not in and of itself, but if I then took (a) subsequent action(s), I would have acted meaningfully.' [Also, I think there are two embedded implications - that (1) getting off the train was necessary for the subsequent action(s) and (2) the subsequent action(s) was/were meaningful] -Grrarr		'Would getting off the train be a meaningful act? Not in and of itself, but if I then took (a) subsequent action(s), I would have acted meaningfully.' [Also, I think there are two embedded implications - that (1) getting off the train was necessary for the subsequent action(s) and (2) the subsequent action(s) was/were meaningful] -Grrarr
			:<div style="border: 1px solid DarkKhaki; padding: 5px"><div style="background: Khaki;">[[User:EusthEnoptEron\|EusthEnoptEron]] 04:43, 13 July 2012 (CDT)</div>Exactly. He wants to achieve a "change", prevent the fated. So there'd be no "meaning" in just going home or just leaving the train. He has to do something.</div>

	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)

Grrarr at 04:54, 13 July 2012

2012-07-13T04:54:30Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:54, 13 July 2012
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	these are the questionable lines from this chapter in bold. below each line are my bariants and thoughts. i'm extremely unsure about my suggestions here, and thus i didn't change these lines in the chapter. this is meant mostly for senile seinen, but if anyone wants to pitch in, that's cool too.--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)		these are the questionable lines from this chapter in bold. below each line are my bariants and thoughts. i'm extremely unsure about my suggestions here, and thus i didn't change these lines in the chapter. this is meant mostly for senile seinen, but if anyone wants to pitch in, that's cool too.--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)

			I'll add a few suggestions as well if that's OK...senile seinen already has them well covered tho... [[User:Grrarr\|Grrarr]] 23:54, 12 July 2012 (CDT)

	'''She looked a little younger than me, but the languorous feel she gave off made her impression rather mature and mysterious.'''		'''She looked a little younger than me, but the languorous feel she gave off made her impression rather mature and mysterious.'''
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	She preferred that people did not get (a)hold of Relics.		She preferred that people did not get (a)hold of Relics.

			She preferred that people did not obtain Relics. -Grrarr

	'''Because he was about to even intrude their private space, I had no choice but to block his way.'''		'''Because he was about to even intrude their private space, I had no choice but to block his way.'''
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	Because he was even willing to intrude '''into''' their private space, I had no choice but to block him/his way.		Because he was even willing to intrude '''into''' their private space, I had no choice but to block him/his way.

			Because he was even willing to intrude '''upon''' their private space, I had no choice but to block him/his way. -Grrarr

	'''Towako-san, however, showed no signs of taking the card.'''		'''Towako-san, however, showed no signs of taking the card.'''
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	'Top-class' is terrible.		'Top-class' is terrible.

			Agreed - 'high end' works better. Also, neither construction ("made by a xxx brand" as well as "were OF a xxx brand") seems quite right, though the first one seems worse to me... -Grrarr

	'''"A-Are you all right? Excuse me excuse me!"'''		'''"A-Are you all right? Excuse me excuse me!"'''
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	'Recent interview'. And yes.		'Recent interview'. And yes.

			Agreed - brevity is crucial. [Also, a very minor (grammar-unrelated) nitpick - this is unlikely to be relevant for the Tsukumodo translation, but one could encounter an interview that was (a) not conducted recently and (b) only recently published] -Grrarr

	'''Mei-san nodded in convincedly.'''		'''Mei-san nodded in convincedly.'''
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	(Back to work here for me -ss)		(Back to work here for me -ss)
	(had become generally accepted?)		(had become generally accepted?)

			# 'had become generally accepted' works grammatically, but the meaning of the sentence is off.
			# Also, 'The joy was even greater than when' construction is flawed.
			# Getting back to meanings: I lack context, but my best guess is that 'when I became generally accepted and could release my first record' should be something like 'when I became popular enough to release my first record,' but that starts to diverge from translation. Check in w/EEE?
			# A clunky/overly lengthy temporary placeholder: 'I was overjoyed - I felt happier than when I became popular enough to release my first record,' -Grrarr

	'''Was there a meaning in me getting off the train there?'''		'''Was there a meaning in me getting off the train there?'''
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	meaning) "get" just sounds weird here. as does "some action")		meaning) "get" just sounds weird here. as does "some action")

			Yeah, this is a definitely a messy starting point. My best guess at the intended meaning (again, lacking TL input/I'm still phrasing it clunkily) would be something like:
			'Would getting off the train be a meaningful act? Not in and of itself, but if I then took (a) subsequent action(s), I would have acted meaningfully.' [Also, I think there are two embedded implications - that (1) getting off the train was necessary for the subsequent action(s) and (2) the subsequent action(s) was/were meaningful] -Grrarr

	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)

Senile seinen at 15:10, 10 July 2012

2012-07-10T15:10:23Z

Show changes

Idiffer at 07:04, 9 July 2012

2012-07-09T07:04:32Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:04, 9 July 2012
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	'''However, only in the presence of us.'''		'''However, only in the presence of us.'''

	(However, only in ~~the~~ presence ~~of us~~.)		(However, only in our presence.)

	'''However, we had not at all time for that.'''		'''However, we had not at all time for that.'''

Idiffer at 07:02, 9 July 2012

2012-07-09T07:02:42Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:02, 9 July 2012
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	(maybe heartbeat without the space?)		(maybe heartbeat without the space?)

	'''The heavy noise from the building site vanished.		'''The heavy noise from the building site vanished.'''

	It hadn't ''become unhearable''. More like, it had ''vanished''.'''		'''It hadn't ''become unhearable''. More like, it had ''vanished''.'''

	(so vanished or had vanished?)		(so vanished or had vanished?)

Idiffer at 07:01, 9 July 2012

2012-07-09T07:01:45Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:24, 16 September 2014
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	--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)		--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)

	===TL questions===		==TL questions==

			--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:24, 16 September 2014 (CDT)"You don't want 'something'. You want 'a thing'."

	~~"You don't want 'something'. You want 'a thing'."~~
	(is she saying this in general (“people want something”) or referring to kadokura?)		(is she saying this in general (“people want something”) or referring to kadokura?)

	"Certainly. I'm sorry, t..."		--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:24, 16 September 2014 (CDT)"Certainly. I'm sorry, t..."

	(what word is the person trying to finish?)		(what word is the person trying to finish?)

	<nowiki><span style="color: white">What's going on?</span></nowiki>		'''<nowiki><span style="color: white">What's going on?</span></nowiki>'''

	(you made the text invisible. How was this handled in the jap version, I wonder)		(you made the text invisible. How was this handled in the jap version, I wonder)

	"That's what I've been telling you.<u> Any sound vanishes from the region it reflects</u>. The sounds from outside are completely deflected, and no sound can be produced within the area of reflection. In short, it creates a zone of complete silence."		'''"That's what I've been telling you.<u> Any sound vanishes from the region it reflects</u>. The sounds from outside are completely deflected, and no sound can be produced within the area of reflection. In short, it creates a zone of complete silence."'''

	(not how I usually see this constructed. so the underlined sentence means: “the mirror effects a region, so sound vanishes from that region” ? or is it about sound in general? or smth else entirely?)		(not how I usually see this constructed. so the underlined sentence means: “the mirror effects a region, so sound vanishes from that region” ? or is it about sound in general? or smth else entirely?)

	I deliberately slammed the door shut. Even that sound resounded in my ears.		'''I deliberately slammed the door shut. Even that sound resounded in my ears.'''

	(I’d say if he was bothered by a sound like smth falling upstairs, then he shouldn’t be surprised that the sound of a door being slammed right in front of him wouldn’t be pleasant to his ears. So why the “even that” in the beginning of the second sentence?		(I’d say if he was bothered by a sound like smth falling upstairs, then he shouldn’t be surprised that the sound of a door being slammed right in front of him wouldn’t be pleasant to his ears. So why the “even that” in the beginning of the second sentence?


	I looked at the "Mirror of Serenity". It was no doubt there.<--EEE: is he confirming that it's still there and no one has taken it? -grrarr-->		'''I looked at the "Mirror of Serenity". It was no doubt there.'''<--EEE: is he confirming that it's still there and no one has taken it? -grrarr-->

	(yes, I want to know the answer to the question grarr posed here as well…)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:21, 16 September 2014 (CDT)		(yes, I want to know the answer to the question grarr posed here as well…)--[[User:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkred;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">idif</span>]][[User talk:idiffer\|<span style="color:darkblack;font:bold 10pt kristen itc">fer</span>]] 15:21, 16 September 2014 (CDT)

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:01, 9 July 2012
Line 1:		Line 1:

	these are the questionable lines from this chapter in bold. below each line are my bariants and thoughts. i'm extremely unsure about my suggestions here, and thus i didn't change these lines in the chapter. this is meant mostly for senile seinen, but if anyone wants to pitch in, that's cool too.--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)		these are the questionable lines from this chapter in bold. below each line are my bariants and thoughts. i'm extremely unsure about my suggestions here, and thus i didn't change these lines in the chapter. this is meant mostly for senile seinen, but if anyone wants to pitch in, that's cool too.--[[User:Idiffer\|Idiffer]] 01:59, 9 July 2012 (CDT)

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	(It was a bad idea indeed to thoughtlessly let her know, when we had no idea under what circumstances she died.)		(It was a bad idea indeed to thoughtlessly let her know, when we had no idea under what circumstances she died.)

	'''However, only in the presence of us.'''		'''However, only in the presence of us.'''

	(However, only in the presence of us.)		(However, only in the presence of us.)
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	(were a maid uniform? really unsure. probably i'm wrong)		(were a maid uniform? really unsure. probably i'm wrong)

	'''With eccentric paintings in the room or the doors."'''		'''With eccentric paintings in the room or the doors."'''

	(in the room, but probably ON the doors. )		(in the room, but probably ON the doors. )
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	(had become generally accepted?)		(had become generally accepted?)

	'''Was there a meaning in me getting off the train there?		'''Was there a meaning in me getting off the train there?'''

	There wasn't if I just got off. But if I took some action from there, it would get a meaning.'''		'''There wasn't if I just got off. But if I took some action from there, it would get a meaning.'''

	(what would get a meaning exactly? the action? But if after that I take an action, it would become meaningfull. (it would aquire		(what would get a meaning exactly? the action? But if after that I take an action, it would become meaningfull. (it would aquire