Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume2 The Third Question

The Third Question

In order to decide what kind of activity the class should do, can all students please assist in this survey.

‘What kind of attire is suitable for running a teahouse?’

Himeji Mizuki’s answer:

‘A cute apron commonly used at home’.

Teacher’s comment:

It really does have the atmosphere for a school festival, and doesn’t require a lot of money, a rather good idea.

Tsuchiya Kouta’s answer:

‘Skirt 15cm above the knees, the upper body must be like the skirt, with a nice emphasis on the bustlines while keeping a strong sense of elegance. I hope that a light blue colour with white as the base colour can be used. The tray should be made of shiny silver that can reflect the face onto it, and the shop’s logo should be on it. The shoes should be high heels, 5cm tall—’

Teacher’s comment:

You don’t have to write on the back of the paper, do you?

Akihisa Yoshii’s answer:

‘Brassiere!’

Teacher’s comment:

Sensei believes that you mistook ‘brassiere’ for ‘blazer’. (Note: In Japanese, ‘Brassiere’ and ‘Blazer’ are pronounced rather similarly.)

“Sakamoto normally looks like an idiot, but his leadership is really impressive.”

“Yup, normally, he’ll be an ordinary idiot.”

It’s the morning of the Cool Summer Festival today.

From the normal dirty classroom, our classroom has transformed into a Chinese teahouse.

“On first glance, this table seems really different from what it really is.”

The tables placed around the classroom are actually just those cardboard boxes that we use in class. By arranging them neatly and putting a nice tablecloth over it, even lousy boxes can become a luxurious table.

“Ah, this is done by Kinoshita-san. I don’t know where he got this beautiful tablecloth, but he was able to turn them into tables quickly and skillfully.” Himeji-san stares at Hideyoshi with respect.

I see. This tablecloth is a prop that belongs to the drama club. No wonder the quality is so good.

“Hm, though it looks decent, it’ll be different once we pull up the tablecloth.”

Hideyoshi pulls up the tablecloth. What appears underneath are the dirty cardboard boxes that we’rs so used to seeing.

“Our shop rating will drop a lot if the customers see this.”

Minami came up beside me and observes. She’s right. If these kind of lousy cardboard boxes are to be seen, it’ll cause our shop to have a bad reputation.

“It’ll be no problem. Nobody will bother to look at them so closely. Even if they’re to be discovered, I’ll tell that person to hide that secret in the heart.”

“That’s right. Nobody would deliberately flip up the tablecloth just to stir trouble.”

If there’s anyone who’ll do this, then that person has no other motive except to disrupt our business.

“The decorations inside the room are pretty as well, so there should be no problems, right?”

For the standards of a school festival, this is rather excessive. With this, there should be a lot of people coming over.

“…The tea’s perfect as well.”

“WAHH!”

Muttsuriini ’s voice suddenly came from behind. He still good at hiding his presence, but I do feel that there’s no need for this in everyday life.

“Muttsuriini , is the kitchen side OK?”

“…Try it.”

After saying it, Muttsuriini presents a wooden tub, tea and sesame balls are placed on the ceramic plate.

“Wa…looks yummy…”

“Tsuchiya, you don’t mind if I eat this, right?”

“…(nods his head)”

“Then I won’t hold back now.”

Himeji-san, Minami-san and Hideyoshi all reached their arms out, popping the just fried and warm sesame ball into their mouths.

“Woah, it’s good!”

“Ya! Crispy on the outside, yet chewy, the texture is great!”

“Sweet, yet not too sweet, it’s good.”

The snacks are rated highly. Girls really like sweets huh, all three of them.

“The tea is good as well, this is wonderful…”

“Yeah…”

Himeji-san and Minami look rather dreamy-eyed as they descend into dreamland. Is it really this good?

“Then I’ll have one.”

Muttsuriini passes the remaining ball over to me.

Because there’s no toothpick, I took it with my hand and took a small bite.

“Mmmm, rough and hard on the outside, sticky on this inside, not too sweet or too spicy—ARGHH!!”

A sound that no human can make came out of my mouth, and what appear in front of me are the memories of my 16 years. Ahh, those are the wonderful…wait a sec, aren’t these the final lights before death?

“Ah, Himeji made that.”

“…! (Stuffs it in frantically)”

“Mu, Muttsuriini ! Why must you reveal such a terrified expression and stuff that sesame ball into my mouth? Impossible! I can’t do it!”

Muttsuriini stuffs the remaining half of the sesame ball into my mouth. This is a special snack that will cause people to see the white lights! No ordinary person should be allowed to eat it!

“Hey guys, I’m back—”

At time moment, Yuuji came back.

“Ah, Yuuji, welcome back.”

“Hm? What’s this, this looks good. How’s the taste?”

After that, he pops the biochemical weapon that I took a bite off into his mouth without any hesitation.

“…What a great guy.”

“Yuuji, you’re now emitting the brightest glow here.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying…hmm, rough and hard on the outside, sticky on this inside, not too sweet or too spicy—ARGHH!!”

Ah, such a familiar scene.

“Ah—Yuuji, does it taste good?”

I tried to use my eyes to say this to Yuuji, ‘Himeji-san made this, you probably won’t say anything too much, right?’ as he lies on the ground. However, I can’t make eye contact with him, I’m just afraid that he doesn’t get the message.

“Hoo, seems like there’s no problem.”

Yuuji, who’s still lying on the ground, finally replies, “Can I cross that bridge now?”

That must be the Nakawa river.

“Yuu, Yuuji! You can’t cross it! You can’t come back if you cross it!”

Thinking about how one bite can become a fatal blow, the food that Himeji-san makes is still extremely terrifying.

“Eh? What’s wrong? What happened to Sakamoto-san?”

Himeji-san, who’s been eating the normal sesame ball and living in dreamland, finally senses that something is wrong. It’s great that she didn’t see what happened.

“Yeah, Sakamoto, are you alright?”

Up till now, Minami was also stuck in dreamland. Maybe the good sesame balls are delicious, so we can expect a boom in sales.

“There’s no problem, he just got a cramp. Oi, Yuu—ji—stand—up—now—”

Anyway, I jokingly called Yuuji to get up. However, my hand is pressing against his heart. Right now, the chances of him living is half!

“65,000? You kidding me. The way things are going, the road fare should be—ack!”

Ah, good, he’s successfully revived without anyone knowing.

“Yuuji, did your leg get a cramp?”

Before he said something unnecessary, I spoke up. There’s no time for eye contact this time.

“A cramp? You kidding me, it’s that ball—”

“…Then I’ll let you have another one.”

“I got a cramp because I hardly exercise.”

Luckily, Yuuji’s mind is good. Even if it’s me, I don’t want to kill my classmate.

(…Akihisa, I’ll kill you one day.)

(…No can do. I’ll get rid of you before you can kill me.)

Our little laughter contains a conversation full of killing intent. See, we’re rather close.

“Hm, Sakamoto seems to get cramps on his leg very often, huh?”

Not good. The same situation as a while back made Minami suspicious.

“Ah, you see, Yuuji has have too much excess fat, right? It’s easy to get cramps, just like how Minami get cramps on her chest, so she should understand—GUAH!!”

“…There’s no need for me to take action, huh.”

Yuuji stares at me with much pity as I took a punch from Minami. Why do I feel that this sort of thing has been happening to me all recently…”

“Come to think of it, Yuuji, where did you go?”

Hideyoshi changes the topic smoothly. As expected of someone who knows what’s going on.

“Hm, I went to discuss something.”

It’s rare for Yuuji to use such an ambiguous tone.

Actually, he went to decide the subjects under the principal’s orders. But we can’t say this dishonest method so easily, so Yuuji just made up an ambiguous answer on the spot.

“Oh, so that’s what happened~ it’s been hard on you.”

Himeji-san won’t doubt anyone as she says this, giving a smile. Such an obedient girl.

“Nope, don’t mind it. More importantly, the teahouse can operate now, right?”

“That’s correct.”

“…No problems with the tea and snacks.”

Is there really no problem? A hint of unrest crept up in me as I wonder whether the ones Himeji-san made got mixed in.

“Alright, then I’ll let Hideyoshi and Muttsuriini handle the teahouse for now. Akihisa and I have to settle the first summoning battle.”

After saying this, he pats on the back of both Hideyoshi and Muttsuriini .

“Eh, you’re participating in the summoning tournament as well?”

Minami looks like she’s trying to confirm something as she stares at me.

“Eh? Ah, mm, because of some matters.”

I gave an ambiguous answer. The school principal told us not to ‘tell anyone about the inside story regarding the tickets’, thus, I can’t talk about it. But, why not?

“Are you…aiming for the prize…?”

Minami looks over with a probing look.

“Hm—something like that.”

To be specific, we just want to exchange the prizes for the improvement in facilities.

If so, can we also exchange the platinum bracelets? According to rumours, there are bracelets that allow a person to summon two summoned beasts and can also replace teachers to be some sort of witness. Though I don’t really want it, it’s nice to wear it if I can get it.

“…You want to go there?”

“Eh?”

Minami narrows her eyes. This, this is…killing intent!

“Yoshii-kun, I also want to know, who do you want to go with?”

Before I noticed it, Himeji-san has gone into battle mode as well.

Both of them must be talking about the tickets.

This is bad! I never intended to go with anyone, just wanting to handing it over to the principal. However, due to the agreement, I can’t say the reason so honestly…

“Akihisa is going with me.”

Just as I’m struggling to find an answer, Yuuji quipped.

On hearing this, Minami widens her eyes wide. Ho hum, it’s not strange for you to find it weird.

“EH? You’re going to use the tickets to go on the ‘Happy Journey’ with Sakamoto…?”

Because this is a new development that I’m even shocked by it.

You idiot! Who wants to go on a happy journey with Yuuji!? This will cause a super huge misunderstanding!!!

(Akihisa, endure it! That old hag will break the agreement if this gets revealed!!)

Yuuji whispered to me. Though I’m not willing in the slightest, this is for Himeji-san. Looks like Yuuji is enduring the pain of being misunderstood as a homo. In this situation, I must hang on…

“I refused a few times, but I can’t get rid of him.”

EH? WHAT? I’VE BEEN BETRAYED!!??

“Aki, compared to Kinoshita, you’re obviously more attracted to Sakamoto…”

“HOLD ON A MINUTE! I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT ‘OBVIOUSLY’ MEANT! ALSO, HIDEYOSHI, STOP LOOKING SO LONELY, EVEN IF IT’S A BIT!!”

Not good. If this keeps up, the wrong information will be leaked to the outside world. My ranking on the ‘most suitable to be a homosexual student’ will go up!!

“Yoshii-kun. As you’re a guy, If possible, try to be interested in girls…”

“If it’s possible, Akihisa won’t be so tired.”

“YUUJI, PLEASE STOP SAYING THIS AS A MATTER OF FACT!!? YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY INTENTION TO COVER ME!!”

One day, I’ll settle the score with this guy.

“Ah, time’s almost up. Time to go, Akihisa.”

“Ugh! Anyway, it’s a misunderstanding!!”

Like a small fry running away and giving some vicious words to defend himself, Yuuji and I leave the classroom behind us.

“Ahem—and now, the first summoning battle will officially begin now.”

The summoning event is held at the special stage located at the field.

“Before the third battle begins, we won’t be showing the battles to outsiders, so do your best.”

The one in charge of this is the maths teacher, Kiuchi-sensei, so of course, the topic tested is maths.

“Let’s do our best, Ritsuko.”

“Nn.”

The two girls who are our opponents nod their heads. This is truly a scene worth smiling at.

Come to think of it, where have I seen them before…

“Then, summon your beasts.”

“Summon!”

As both of them shouted, the familiar magic array appears beside them. Two miniature head-sized test summon beasts that take the appearance of the summoners appear from them.

Maths.

179 points, B class, Iwashita Ritsuko.

&

163 points, B class, Kikuiri Mayumi.

Two summoned beasts that possess similar equipment appear opposite. They have Western style helmets and swords. They look like a much weakened version of Himeji-san’s summoned being.

“Then we should start summoning as well.”

“Alright.”

“Summon.”

Our summoned beasts appear. My summoned beast is still equipped with a modified uniform and a wooden sword. On the other hand, the one hailed as a genius, our class rep’s summoned beast is—

“…barehanded?”

It doesn’t look like it’s holding anything. Is it an invisible sword?

“You idiot, look closely.”

Yuuji lets the summoned beast raise its fists for me to inspect,

“Isn’t it wearing metal knuckles?”

“You, you small fry! There’s small fry here!”

How is it possible to have such a weak summon beast? Though the knuckles are his weapons, I have never seen a summoned beast that has such lousy equipment!

“We’re coming up, you field trip brothers.”

“Ritsuko, that’s wrong, they’re delinquents.”

Our summon beasts are wearing modified uniforms, one with a wooden sword and one with metal knuckles. Even then, we can’t deny the mocking of the opponent.

Maths

F class, 179 points, Sakamoto Yuuji.

&

F class, 63 points, Yoshii Akihisa.

Our marks are shown on the screen as reference.

“Oi, Yu…Yuuji!”

“What?”

“Why’s your score so high?”

To think that he got 179, it’s comparable to B class. He’s supposed to be an idiot! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE AN IDIOT!!

“Ever since the last summoning battle, I started to study hard in order to beat ‘A’ class.”

For some reason, Yuuji is saying this with an unhappy look.

To be able to improve so much in such a short time? As expected of the man hailed as a genius.

“However, why do you want to work hard?”

Yuuji should be trying to prove that ‘those who can’t study can still succeed’ as he challenged ‘A’ class. Is there a reason for him not to lose even if he has to go against his ideals?

“Before this, Shouko asked me a question.”

“What question?”

“…Where do we have our wedding?”

Kirishima-san is really fond on him, eh?

“I CAN’T LOSE NOW!! IF I CAN’T WIN NEXT TIME, MY LIFE…MY LIFE WILL BE…!!!!”

“YUUJI, CALM DOWN! YOU TWO CAN MAKE A HAPPY FAMILY!!”

I held onto Yuuji from the back as he’s about to run off the stage.

I see, that’s why Yuuji’s started to study.

“Can you guys get started?”

Kiuchi-sensei looks at us worriedly, and the other two competitors seem rather surprised.

“Ah, we’re sorry. There’s no problem, you see.”

“I don’t want to have the wife’s family name…! I don’t want to become Kirishima Yuuji—UWAAHH!! WHAT?”

Anyway, let’s punch him a few times to get him back to normal. This is another method to repair Yuuji once he’s spoilt—the second way.

“Though sensei is a bit worried, please start the match.”

After saying this, Kiuchi-sensei starts to back away, as according to standard procedures.

Facing against the opponent, our match is about to begin.

“Ritsuko!”

“Mayumi!”

““Let’s go!!””

After calling each other’s names, both of our opponents nod their head, and then start moving about as if they’re trying to surround us.

“Oh~ their teamwork is decent.”

“It’s not bad. For girls when they like to go play housework, it’s rather notable.”

Yuuji and I nod at each other. With our deep bonds, we only need to look at each other in order to understand the other person’s thoughts.

“Akihisa!”

“THIS…THIS IS TOO DISRESPECTFUL!!”

“OUR TEAMWORK IS THE STRONGEST!!”

The duo from B class seems a bit angry as they argue back.

Can’t stand them. Since it has come to this—let us show you what is real teamwork.

“Yuuji!”

I glance at my partner, my eyes stating my intentions. With our deep relationship, we only need to exchange glances in order to understand what we’re both thinking.

“Akihisa!”

I also nod my head in response to my partner’s call. We both then took a deep breath, each saying our own suggestions.

““I’LL LEAVE IT TO YOU!!””

Our suggestions are completely the same as both of us jump back at the same time.

“Yuuji, what’s the idea! How do we settle this when both of us want to let the other person handle the opponents!”

“Nope, this is definitely the time for you to step up, no? I haven’t summoned any beasts in the summoning battle the last time, didn’t I?”

“What! You useless bum! At least you’ll be my shield!”

“What do you mean by ‘useless’! Your score’s like trash!”

“You’re rather talkative, eh? ALRIGHT, GET OUT OF HERE!!”

“Just what I wanted!!”

We both grabbed each other’s collar. I have never expected him to be this stupid!!

“Boys’ friendship is really weird…”

“Good thing we’re girls.”

EH! They dare to look down on us like that!

“…Ah, ahem.”

In order to drag the time on and make our opponents forget about the commotion just now, I coughed for a while and say, “Looks likes our teamwork is evenly matched, huh?”

““EH EH!?””

The two girls respond in unison. What’s with them revealing this sort of expression!?

“However, besides observation, we have something called ‘intelligence’! Even if our teamwork is comparable, if it’s fighting smartly, we’ll definitely win!”

“Don’t mind them, that guy is somewhat on that side.”

Though it seems that the world’s evaluation of me is hiding in a certain direction, it’s better now not to think about it.

“Yuuji, hurry up and present the battle plan!”

I said to Yuuji, who’s standing beside me. One thing to note is that I have never thought anything related to this battle.

“Alright, this is my battle plan.”

Yuuji enthusiastically says the battle plan.

“Akihisa is to hold off one of the opponent—”

“Uh huh.”

“—And Akihisa is to beat the other opponent at the same time.”

“Wouldn’t I be doing both things at the same time!”

I have a feeling that Yuuji made this plan up as he was bored.