Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume2 The Third Question

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The Third Question

In order to decide what kind of activity the class should do, can all students please assist in this survey.

‘What kind of attire is suitable for running a teahouse?’

Himeji Mizuki’s answer:

‘A cute apron commonly used at home’.

Teacher’s comment:

It really does have the atmosphere for a school festival, and doesn’t require a lot of money, a rather good idea.

Tsuchiya Kouta’s answer:

‘Skirt 15cm above the knees, the upper body must be like the skirt, with a nice emphasis on the bustlines while keeping a strong sense of elegance. I hope that a light blue colour with white as the base colour can be used. The tray should be made of shiny silver that can reflect the face onto it, and the shop’s logo should be on it. The shoes should be high heels, 5cm tall—’

Teacher’s comment:

You don’t have to write on the back of the paper, do you?

Akihisa Yoshii’s answer:

‘Brassiere!’

Teacher’s comment:

Sensei believes that you mistook ‘brassiere’ for ‘blazer’. (Note: In Japanese, ‘Brassiere’ and ‘Blazer’ are pronounced rather similarly.)


“Sakamoto normally looks like an idiot, but his leadership is really impressive.”

“Yup, normally, he’ll be an ordinary idiot.”

It’s the morning of the Cool Summer Festival today.

From the normal dirty classroom, our classroom has transformed into a Chinese teahouse.

“On first glance, this table seems really different from what it really is.”

The tables placed around the classroom are actually just those cardboard boxes that we use in class. By arranging them neatly and putting a nice tablecloth over it, even lousy boxes can become a luxurious table.

“Ah, this is done by Kinoshita-san. I don’t know where he got this beautiful tablecloth, but he was able to turn them into tables quickly and skillfully.” Himeji-san stares at Hideyoshi with respect.

I see. This tablecloth is a prop that belongs to the drama club. No wonder the quality is so good.

“Hm, though it looks decent, it’ll be different once we pull up the tablecloth.”

Hideyoshi pulls up the tablecloth. What appears underneath are the dirty cardboard boxes that we’rs so used to seeing.

“Our shop rating will drop a lot if the customers see this.”

Minami came up beside me and observes. She’s right. If these kind of lousy cardboard boxes are to be seen, it’ll cause our shop to have a bad reputation.

“It’ll be no problem. Nobody will bother to look at them so closely. Even if they’re to be discovered, I’ll tell that person to hide that secret in the heart.”

“That’s right. Nobody would deliberately flip up the tablecloth just to stir trouble.”

If there’s anyone who’ll do this, then that person has no other motive except to disrupt our business.

“The decorations inside the room are pretty as well, so there should be no problems, right?”

For the standards of a school festival, this is rather excessive. With this, there should be a lot of people coming over.

“…The tea’s perfect as well.”

“WAHH!”

Mussulini’s voice suddenly came from behind. He still good at hiding his presence, but I do feel that there’s no need for this in everyday life.

“Mussulini, is the kitchen side OK?”

“…Try it.”

After saying it, Mussulini presents a wooden tub, tea and sesame balls are placed on the ceramic plate.

“Wa…looks yummy…”

“Tsuchiya, you don’t mind if I eat this, right?”

“…(nods his head)”

“Then I won’t hold back now.”

Himeji-san, Minami-san and Hideyoshi all reached their arms out, popping the just fried and warm sesame ball into their mouths.

“Woah, it’s good!”

“Ya! Crispy on the outside, yet chewy, the texture is great!”

“Sweet, yet not too sweet, it’s good.”

The snacks are rated highly. Girls really like sweets huh, all three of them.

“The tea is good as well, this is wonderful…”

“Yeah…”

Himeji-san and Minami look rather dreamy-eyed as they descend into dreamland. Is it really this good?

“Then I’ll have one.”

Mussulini passes the remaining ball over to me.

Because there’s no toothpick, I took it with my hand and took a small bite.

“Mmmm, rough and hard on the outside, sticky on this inside, not too sweet or too spicy—ARGHH!!”

A sound that no human can make came out of my mouth, and what appear in front of me are the memories of my 16 years. Ahh, those are the wonderful…wait a sec, aren’t these the final lights before death?

“Ah, Himeji made that.”

“…! (Stuffs it in frantically)”

“Mu, Mussulini! Why must you reveal such a terrified expression and stuff that sesame ball into my mouth? Impossible! I can’t do it!”

Mussulini stuffs the remaining half of the sesame ball into my mouth. This is a special snack that will cause people to see the white lights! No ordinary person should be allowed to eat it!

“Hey guys, I’m back—”

At time moment, Yuuji came back.

“Ah, Yuuji, welcome back.”

“Hm? What’s this, this looks good. How’s the taste?”

After that, he pops the biochemical weapon that I took a bite off into his mouth without any hesitation.

“…What a great guy.”

“Yuuji, you’re now emitting the brightest glow here.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying…hmm, rough and hard on the outside, sticky on this inside, not too sweet or too spicy—ARGHH!!”

Ah, such a familiar scene.

“Ah—Yuuji, does it taste good?”

I tried to use my eyes to say this to Yuuji, ‘Himeji-san made this, you probably won’t say anything too much, right?’ as he lies on the ground. However, I can’t make eye contact with him, I’m just afraid that he doesn’t get the message.

“Hoo, seems like there’s no problem.”

Yuuji, who’s still lying on the ground, finally replies, “Can I cross that bridge now?”

That must be the Nakawa river.

“Yuu, Yuuji! You can’t cross it! You can’t come back if you cross it!”

Thinking about how one bite can become a fatal blow, the food that Himeji-san makes is still extremely terrifying.

“Eh? What’s wrong? What happened to Sakamoto-san?”

Himeji-san, who’s been eating the normal sesame ball and living in dreamland, finally senses that something is wrong. It’s great that she didn’t see what happened.

“Yeah, Sakamoto, are you alright?”

Up till now, Minami was also stuck in dreamland. Maybe the good sesame balls are delicious, so we can expect a boom in sales.

“There’s no problem, he just got a cramp. Oi, Yuu—ji—stand—up—now—”

Anyway, I jokingly called Yuuji to get up. However, my hand is pressing against his heart. Right now, the chances of him living is half!

“65,000? You kidding me. The way things are going, the road fare should be—ack!”

Ah, good, he’s successfully revived without anyone knowing.

“Yuuji, did your leg get a cramp?”

Before he said something unnecessary, I spoke up. There’s no time for eye contact this time.

“A cramp? You kidding me, it’s that ball—”

“…Then I’ll let you have another one.”

“I got a cramp because I hardly exercise.”

Luckily, Yuuji’s mind is good. Even if it’s me, I don’t want to kill my classmate.

(…Akihisa, I’ll kill you one day.)

(…No can do. I’ll get rid of you before you can kill me.)

Our little laughter contains a conversation full of killing intent. See, we’re rather close.

“Hm, Sakamoto seems to get cramps on his leg very often, huh?”

Not good. The same situation as a while back made Minami suspicious.

“Ah, you see, Yuuji has have too much excess fat, right? It’s easy to get cramps, just like how Minami get cramps on her chest, so she should understand—GUAH!!”

“…There’s no need for me to take action, huh.”

Yuuji stares at me with much pity as I took a punch from Minami. Why do I feel that this sort of thing has been happening to me all recently…”

“Come to think of it, Yuuji, where did you go?”

Hideyoshi changes the topic smoothly. As expected of someone who knows what’s going on.

“Hm, I went to discuss something.”

It’s rare for Yuuji to use such an ambiguous tone.

Actually, he went to decide the subjects under the principal’s orders. But we can’t say this dishonest method so easily, so Yuuji just made up an ambiguous answer on the spot.

“Oh, so that’s what happened~ it’s been hard on you.”

Himeji-san won’t doubt anyone as she says this, giving a smile. Such an obedient girl.

“Nope, don’t mind it. More importantly, the teahouse can operate now, right?”

“That’s correct.”

“…No problems with the tea and snacks.”

Is there really no problem? A hint of unrest crept up in me as I wonder whether the ones Himeji-san made got mixed in.

“Alright, then I’ll let Hideyoshi and Mussulini handle the teahouse for now. Akihisa and I have to settle the first summoning battle.”

After saying this, he pats on the back of both Hideyoshi and Mussulini.

“Eh, you’re participating in the summoning tournament as well?”

Minami looks like she’s trying to confirm something as she stares at me.

“Eh? Ah, mm, because of some matters.”

I gave an ambiguous answer. The school principal told us not to ‘tell anyone about the inside story regarding the tickets’, thus, I can’t talk about it. But, why not?

“Are you…aiming for the prize…?”

Minami looks over with a probing look.

“Hm—something like that.”

To be specific, we just want to exchange the prizes for the improvement in facilities.

If so, can we also exchange the platinum bracelets? According to rumours, there are bracelets that allow a person to summon two summoned beasts and can also replace teachers to be some sort of witness. Though I don’t really want it, it’s nice to wear it if I can get it.

“…You want to go there?”

“Eh?”

Minami narrows her eyes. This, this is…killing intent!

“Yoshii-kun, I also want to know, who do you want to go with?”

Before I noticed it, Himeji-san has gone into battle mode as well.

Both of them must be talking about the tickets.

This is bad! I never intended to go with anyone, just wanting to handing it over to the principal. However, due to the agreement, I can’t say the reason so honestly…

“Akihisa is going with me.”

Just as I’m struggling to find an answer, Yuuji quipped.

On hearing this, Minami widens her eyes wide. Ho hum, it’s not strange for you to find it weird.

“EH? You’re going to use the tickets to go on the ‘Happy Journey’ with Sakamoto…?”

Because this is a new development that I’m even shocked by it.

You idiot! Who wants to go on a happy journey with Yuuji!? This will cause a super huge misunderstanding!!!

(Akihisa, endure it! That old hag will break the agreement if this gets revealed!!)

Yuuji whispered to me. Though I’m not willing in the slightest, this is for Himeji-san. Looks like Yuuji is enduring the pain of being misunderstood as a homo. In this situation, I must hang on…

“I refused a few times, but I can’t get rid of him.”

EH? WHAT? I’VE BEEN BETRAYED!!??

“Aki, compared to Kinoshita, you’re obviously more attracted to Sakamoto…”

“HOLD ON A MINUTE! I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT ‘OBVIOUSLY’ MEANT! ALSO, HIDEYOSHI, STOP LOOKING SO LONELY, EVEN IF IT’S A BIT!!”

Not good. If this keeps up, the wrong information will be leaked to the outside world. My ranking on the ‘most suitable to be a homosexual student’ will go up!!

“Yoshii-kun. As you’re a guy, If possible, try to be interested in girls…”

“If it’s possible, Akihisa won’t be so tired.”

“YUUJI, PLEASE STOP SAYING THIS AS A MATTER OF FACT!!? YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY INTENTION TO COVER ME!!”

One day, I’ll settle the score with this guy.

“Ah, time’s almost up. Time to go, Akihisa.”

“Ugh! Anyway, it’s a misunderstanding!!”

Like a small fry running away and giving some vicious words to defend himself, Yuuji and I leave the classroom behind us.