Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume5 The Sixth Question

The Sixth Question

Yoshii Akira-Sensei's Special English(?) Test

Question: Please describe honestly any intimate association or experience with the opposite sex up till now ‘spit it out even if you have to do it in Japanese!’.

Yoshii Akihisa’s answer:

“THAT’S JUST AN INTERROGATION!”

Yoshii Akira’s comment:

This is a test. If you once hugged someone of the opposite sex, write down that you did so. If you once kissed someone of the opposite sex, write down that you did so. Please answer my question honestly. Later on, nee-san will directly interroga—carry out remedials for Aki-kun. You are to study honestly with nee-san tonight.

Shimada Minami’s answer:

“I once had an encounter.”

Yoshii Akira’s answer:

Scattering beans [1] doesn’t need to involve relationships with the opposite gender.

Yuuji got into an accident and ended up hospitalized, and Himeji-san went home once school was dismissed.

This continued for another 3 days, and in the blink of an eye, it was Saturday, just like we agreed.

“Aki-kun, nee-san told you before. I’ll have to work in the mornings today and tomorrow, so you still have to watch the house even if you feel bored.”

Nee-san said this to me as she put the breakfast I prepared into her mouth.

“It’s tough working on Sunday, let alone today.”

Nee-san’s been coming home late, and I hardly have the chance to meet her other than at mornings. There's such a mountain load of work, is the company running really well?

“Don’t worry. Tomorrow I just need to work in the morning and can come back in the afternoon. And Monday and Tuesday are my days off.”

“I see. Tomorrow I’ll be back in the afternoon too, so we can then have dinner together. What do you want to eat, nee-san?”

Since it’s a rare chance, I’ll show off my culinary skills to nee-san and cook something good. As for the money to buy the ingredients..oh well, better use what I have and don’t be fussy.

I pondered as I waited for nee-san’s response, but unexpectedly, nee-san refused me with a sharp tone that didn’t allow for any arguments.

“No need. There’s no need for you to do such unnecessary things.”

“Unnecessary things…what does that mean?”

I really didn’t like that tone. What does she mean by asking me not to do anything excessive? It’s been a long time since us siblings met, so I proposed to have a meal together. There’s no need for nee-san’s tone to be that bad, right?

“What do you mean by meaning? I’m telling you exactly as what I said. There’s no need for you to cook dinner.”

“No need to cook dinner? Are you going out because you have an appointment with someone at dinner?”

Maybe it’s not work, but she got some friends to eat with her, right? It can’t be helped in that case. I’ll find a chance next time…but nee-san’s words just now were rather irritating.

“It’s not like this…let’s not talk about this for now. You’re going out too, Aki-kun?”

“Un, yeah? Didn’t I tell you before? I’m going over to stay at my friend’s house for the night and study for the end-of-term tests with everyone.”

“I see. It’s really great to see you so passionate towards your studies.”

I’m not studying because I want to…but because someone kept deducting points without any warning, I’m forced to do such things.

“Don’t cause too much trouble over at Yuuji’s house tonight.”

“Eh? No. I’m going over to Kirishima-san’s house…”

“Kirishima…‘san’?”

WHY DID I JUST MAKE SUCH A FATAL MISTAKE!? AM I AN IDIOT!?

“Aki-kun, nee-san’s so touched that I have to look at you in another light.”

“Eh?”

“You’re not hiding anything from nee-san and would even tell the truth honestly. Nee-san feels that this is a great thing.”

“Ah, un. I’m happy that you can praise me like that.”

“And your determination to overcome obstacles really impressed me.”

Nee-san took out her notebook and added a new demerit value on it.

“Wait, nee-san! Did you just write a 4 digit number? You’re mistake! Kirishima-san’s a girl, but she’s Yuuji’s bride—ah, no! I’m not having an affair with her! Hurry up and erase those 5 digit numbers!”

5 digits…that’s a score even Kirishima-san can’t get. That’s basically a death sentence.

“Then, tell me what’s going on?”

“We, well…anyway, we’re gathering everyone in class to stay overnight at Kirishima-san’s house to get ready for the tests. And we have a lot of people, so Kirishima-san’s house is the only one large enough…”

Kirishima-san was the one who invited us in the first place, but that wasn’t important, so I better skip it.

“In that case, you will be gathering together to study and nothing else, right?”

“Yeah.”

I really can’t have the luxury to think of anything else when I have to raise my points up by 340. No no, even if it’s not about the grades, I can’t just think about those random things.

“If it’s just studying, nee-san don’t have to deduct that much points from you…but nee-san can’t praise you like that.”

“Eh? Why? I’m going to study!”

“It’s a huge mistake when you have to go to someone else’s house to study right before the exams.”

“Tha, that’s because…I’m not good at studies—”

“Aki-kun.”

Nee-san sternly interrupted my words which I couldn’t even say out.

“Nee-san understands how Aki-kun can’t study, and nee-san feels that being able to understand what you don’t understand is an important part of growing up.”

“Uu, un…”

“But even if being able to see your own limitations is something important, you can’t have the thought of ‘I can’t do this because I’m not good at it’, you know. You should have the attitude of working harder than anyone else to make up for this. This attitude is the most important one you should have. Aki-kun , didn’t you use ‘I’m an idiot’ as an excuse and not try to work hard?”

“Uu…”

Nee-san’s direct words caused me to be unable to argue back.

It’s true that when it’s tough or troublesome, no matter what, when I can’t come up with a solution, I would think ‘I’m an idiot, so I can’t do it’.

I never showed such a thought before, but nee-san’s really my own sister. She really understands me. Nee-san’s right. This naïve thinking isn’t good—

“Oi, hold on a sec! in that case, aren’t you the same, nee-san? Using a high and mighty tone to lecture me. What about you?”

“Me? What are you talking about?”

“Cooking! Telling me to work hard, yet regarding the things you’re bad at, you never—”

—BIBEEP!

As if it was pre-timed, the clock in the living room indicated 8am.

“Sorry. It’s been a nice conversation, but the time’s almost up. Nee-san should be going to work now.”

“Argh! That’s dirty! Are you running away? Despicable!”

“Also, I have to deduct you 50 points for going over to stay overnight at a girls’ place.”

“DAMN IT! HURRY UP AND GET OUT, YOU BIG IDIOT!”

“Okay~ I’m going out then.”

I didn’t get points deducted by 4 digits or 5 digits, but my deducted points went up to 390 after a morning. Looks like I have to be more serious in the study group today…

☆

“…Welcome, Yoshii.”

I waited for a while after I pressed the bell, and Kirishima-san in plainclothes came over to invite me in.

“So, sorry for intruding.”

Her house is way too luxurious, causing me to tense up for some reason. I heard of it before, but there’s really an invisible pressure when I really see it…she probably has servants who stay in the same house.

“…Everyone else was here.”

“So I’m the last one.”

With Kirishima-san leading me, I slowly followed her from behind. This is amazing…I’ve never seen such a long corridor before.

“Wow~ your house has a lot of rooms~”

“…They’re all for different functions.”

As expected of rich people, having so many rooms for different functions.

“This room that’s full of books is…”

“…The library.”

“That room with the large curtain is…”

“…A mini-theater.”

“That room with chains buckled all over is…”

“…Yuuji’s room.”

Alright, let’s forget about the conversation just now.

“…And this is the study.”

After walking by a few rooms, Kirishima-san suddenly stopped and opened a door. The moment she opened the door, I could see a boy and a girl arguing with each other. Isn’t that Muttsurini and Kudou Aikou from A-class? What are they arguing about?”

“You’re thinking too much, Muttsurini-kun! Haven’t you heard of the saying that ‘Seeing is believing’?”

“…It’s an ever foolish thing to get on stage without going through a mock-drill.”

“It’s because you think so much that you always get nosebleeds and can’t get up.”

“…No matter what you say, I have no intention of changing my belief.”

“You’re saying such things again! You just won’t listen (flash a little)!”

“…Too despicable…(Nosebleeding in spurts).”

Kudou-san flipped the breast side of her shirt, and Muttsurini immediately drowned in a pool of nosebleed.

…What in the world are those two doing…?

“You’re finally here, Akihisa.”

“Ah, Hideyoshi, what’s with those two?”

“Mu, they were discussing hotly about how ‘secondary sexual characteristics come about’ and things ended up like that…”

“I say, isn’t it weird to discuss such things already?”

What exactly happened such that they would discuss about secondary sexual characteristics?

“Hello, Akihisa-kun.”

“Un, morning, Himeji-sa—”

I turned over to look in the direction where the familiar voice came from, and was immediately so shocked that I couldn’t talk.

“Hm? What is it?”

Himeji-san tilted her head slightly. She looks somewhat different from usual, because she had a cute ponytail tied behind her.

Is, isn’t that too cute! What should I do? What words should I use to express the feelings I have now to her? “Himeji-san’s so cute today. My mind’s about to blow while looking at you.”[2] Alright, I’ll say that to her.

No, wait, if it’s too long, I might even mess up the most important point of the sentence. Got to make it easy to understand. I should shorten the sentence here—alright.

“Akihisa-kun?”

“Today’s Himeji-san’s dead today![3] ”

“EHHH!?”

WOAH! I’M SUCH A BIG IDIOT! WHAT IS THIS!? WHAT KIND OF DOOMSAYER APPEARED!

“Well, Akihisa-kun…is there some bad omens on my face?”

“Sorry…don’t worry about it…I just couldn’t handle something that happened out of a sudden…”

“Eh, oh…”

I wanted to praise her, but how did it end up in such an absurd statement?

“Aki, did you see something today? Why are you being stupid again?”

“Ah, Minami. Really, I’m not trying to be stupid here.”

“Really…why can’t I seem to tell?”

“Yo, you’re thinking too much.”

For some reason, the stare Minami gave me felt rather sharp, and she didn’t look like she was in a good mood.

“Really…it’s Mizuki’s place if I have to say it. it’s too despicable to change hairstyles out of a sudden. What should I do now…”

“Wha, what are you saying?”

Minami looked like she had some really deep grudge as she stared at Himeji-san’s hair. Their hairstyles are really cute now, and I really don’t know what to do when I’m standing beside them…this isn’t good! My mind seems like it’s going to explode the moment I think about it!

“Speaking of which, Himeji-san, it’s great that you can stay out today!”

I hurriedly changed the topic to avoid digging my own grave. Regarding hairstyles, if I don’t make everyone calm down first, it might end up in a very dangerous situation.

“Yeah, that’s great.”

Himeji-san smiled back happily.

Himeji-san seemed to have reflected obediently after throwing a tantrum, and for the next few days, went home directly. Maybe it’s because being obedient worked out for Himeji-san that her parents allowed her to stay out today. If she would normally keep her behavior in check and obediently report to her parents, it’s not like they wouldn’t understand.

“I immediately got out today too.”

“Oh? What happened to you, Minami?”

“No, it’s not me. It’s Hazuki.”

“What’s with Hazuki-chan?”

“If she knows that we’re going to have a study meet, she’ll definitely demand that I bring her along.”

“Ahaha, I see.”

“Luckily, mom and dad’s bringing her out to the movies today that I was able to get out quickly. Or else, it’ll be troublesome if she catches me going out.”

We’ll definitely welcome Hazuki-chan if she decides to come along, but Minami doesn’t seem like she wanted to bring her along too. Maybe she felt that it’ll be troublesome if both sisters were to come along, but I feel that Kirishima-san won’t worry about such a small thing.

“Speaking of which, we have Himeji-san, Minami, Hideyoshi, Muttsurini, Kudou-san and Kirishima-san for the study group today. That’s a lot of people.”

Including me, that would be 7 people, but the house doesn’t feel like it’s packed even with so many people here, which is really amazing. I really have to be grateful to Kirishima-san for providing such an outstanding study environment.

“Oh yeah, I don’t see Yuuji around.”

“Mu, I’d didn’t see him too. Is he late?”

Is he late? Really, we agreed to meet in the afternoon, and he could still oversleep. I should say that he’s way too relaxed—

“…I brought Yuuji here.”

DOSA!

Yuuji, who was tied up in ropes all over in rings, was lying on the carpeted floor.

“Nn? Akihisa, why are you guys here?’

“…Ahh, un. It’s because Kirishima-san’s good intentions…”

Why are you tied up by her in ropes? No, now doesn’t seem to be a good time to ask this question.

“Yuuji, we’re about to have a study group today. Didn’t you hear from Kirishima?”

Hideyoshi undid Yuuji’s ropes as he asked.

“Yeah, I didn’t hear anything. I just lost consciousness like usual, and by the time I woke up, I was here.”

Like usual, is it? I see. So this is the reason why I occasionally can’t contact Yuuji on the weekends.

“Then what about my textbooks and notes?”

“…Don’t worry, I prepared them.”

Kirishima-san was holding onto Yuuji’s bag, and seemed to have prepared a change of clothes for him. She really didn’t miss out on anything.

“Alright, since everyone’s here, we should start studying.”

“Yeah, I’d agree.”

“You’re right! Ordinary street surveys show that more than 68% of mature women are all—”

“…It’s not a mistake. The survey results of the World Health Organization investigations showed that 72% of mature men support this.”

“You’re saying such nonsensical lies again!”

“…Not lies, these are facts.”

“Damn it! in that case, I must overcome Muttsurini-kun in the next tests to prove that I’m right.”

“…You’re not going to chase me off from the top position in our year.”

“Saying such vexing words again…why are you always like that, Muttsurini-kun (flash)!”

“…Too despicable…(Spurts of nosebleed)!”

We haven’t started studying, yet those two seemed to have something wrong going on between them again.

☆

“Akihisa-kun, you don’t have to differentiate between the East side and India here. It will be easier to memorize what happen each year in each country directly.”

“Each country?”

“Yes. For example, around 500 BC, when Confucius, a great person was born, another famous person was born in India.”

“Confucius…I think I heard of this name before…”

“Confucius was the one who started the ‘Confucianism’, and is a great who had great influence in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms you like, Akihisa-kun.”

“Ahh, speaking of which, I might have heard of that name in manga or video games.”

Is it the one who advocated wisdom and faith? I remember this name seemed to be always associated with ‘the Arts of Tsu’.

“When Confucius, the founder of Confucianism was born, the founders of Buddhism and Jainism were born at the same time.”

“The founder of Buddhism…is it Sakyamuni?”

“That’s right. He also has another name called Siddhattha Gautama.”

“But I don’t know about the founder of Jainism.”

“That one is harder. The founder’s name is called Mahavira.”

“Uu, never heard of that before.”

“They’re rather famous founders of religions in history. It’s best if you can memorize their names.”

“Fm fm.”

Gautama is Buddhism, Mahavira is Jainism.

“Don’t you find this interesting, Akihisa-kun?”

“Eh? What’s interesting about this?”

It seemed that three of the great people that created religions in such a vast world full of history were all born in the same time.”

“Ah…that’s right. Speaking of which, it might be a coincidence.”

“Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps the species called ‘humans’ would have similar thoughts after going through some time and started believing in gods.”

“That’s amazing…even if the places are different, people evolve at the same speed. Is that what you mean?”

“Yes, or…”

“Or?”

“Maybe a real god descended to this world back then, crossing through India and China before teaching them such knowledge.”

“Ooh, so that’s how it is! If I think about it, it can explain why several religions were created at the same time…and also romantic.”

“But nobody knew what actually happened.”

Himeji-san gave me a prompting cute smile. A real god has descended on this earth; the textbooks never wrote such things, but such an idea is really interesting.

“Akihisa-kun , do you know what you should answer in the bracket?”

“Un, got it. the founder of Confucianism is—‘Confusing’, right?”

“Yes, well answered.”

With Himeji-san guiding me, I filled in the blanks of the questions one by one. Unlike Yuuji, Himeji-san would often talk about some interesting stories. This will waste some time, but can create deep impressions, so it’s a lot better than just memorizing. Himeji-san probably had such interests in studying through this method. I can tell everyone’s personality from how they work.

“Ah, that’s right, Himeji-san…”

“Yes?”

“It may be a little late, but well…you, your hairstyle seem somewhat different today. Why did you change out of a sudden…”

“Ah! We, well, that’s because…I, I just thought of tying a ponytail…but I’m not used to tying it like this, so it’s not really nice…is, is it weird?”

“No, not at all! I think it suits you!”

“Re, really? That’s great…it seems that spending two hours to tie a ponytail finally paid off…”

“Two hours?”

No matter what, even if it’s a girl, spending two hours to tie hair is way too long!

“I might as well tie it like this every day.”

“Ah, no. This hairstyle suits you, Himeji-san, but the normal one’s the cutest!”

“Cu, cute? Re, really…you’re too sweet, Akihisa-kun…”

“Ahaha, I’m not exactly saying kind words here…”

Ponytails are one of my fetishes, but Himeji-san’s normal hairstyle really suits her best. Besides, I’m really sorry if she has to spend two hours to tie her hair because of what I think.

“But you look a lot cuter than me, Akihisa-kun…”

“I CAN’T BE HAPPY WHEN YOU SAY SUCH THINGS!”

Looks like I have to show my manly side to Himeji-san.

“Oi, Shimada. Stop reading world history only and get serious, will you? Your language grades are on the same level as Akihisa. If you can’t improve to double digits, we’ll be in lots of trouble during the summoning war next term.”

“Uu…I, I know that! But, well…I don’t have much confidence in world history either.”

“Don’t worry, your world history grades are atrocious, but it’s considered normal amongst us F class. You should focus on improving on your weak points instead of world history. If you can understand the questions on the scripts, you can become a force on our side, so it’ll be more efficient to study language than memorize world history.”

“Uuu…it’s not like I hate tatamis and short desks…”

“I’d feel…it’s alright if our class can have facilities that are good enough so that Himeji doesn’t have to transfer, right? Even if we relax a bit…”

“No, not at all! I must beat A class and defeat Shouko! If I can’t beat her, I’ll end up being held down by her no matter how much time passes!”

“You can’t change it even if you win, right?”

“I’d feel this way too. It’s about time you two get together anyway.”

“Damn it! You guys…never mind, this question then. ‘Please use the past form of <<to wait upon>> to form a sentence’. Try forming one sentence.”

“The cake I ate in the ‘past’ was ‘very’[4] delicious.”

“YOU TWO, STRAIGHTEN YOUR BACKS AND GET BACK HERE!”

Yuuji’s teaching Minami and Hideyoshi language. Kirishima-san was around, but I couldn’t find he around at this moment. I wonder where she went.

“Muttsurini-kun, even you can’t answer this question right?”

“…In the first year of middle school, it’s 70%. 87% in second year and 99% in the third year.”

“Why do you even know such a thing so clearly?”

“…That’s common knowledge.”

“Uu…looks like I can’t beat you through a direct attack…”

“…You’re too naïve, Kudou.”

“In, in that case, Muttsurini-kun, actually, I—”

“…?”

“—I don’t normally wear bras, you know.”

“…u!? (TATATA)”

“Eh? Are you asking me why the shape won’t change when I don’t wear a bra? That’s because…actually, I do (mumbling) massage until (mumble), and every night, I will always—”

“…Are you trying to kill me…(BUSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIII))”

“What do you trying to kill you? It’s really not nice to hear it. I just want to make you lose so much blood that you can’t go all out in the exams, Muttsurini-kun, no other ill intentions here.”

“…I’ll just give you a few points. This level of obstacle is nothing to me.”

“Ohh, you can actually say such things?”

“I’ll definitely not lose to you!”

“In that case, I won’t hold back then—oh yeah, I haven’t finished about just now, (mumbles) until the body gets hot, and then use a (mumbles), and then (secretly)—”

“…I won’t…die in front of you…(DABADABADABA)!”

☆