Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume4 Chapter5

Chapter 5 - E.R.O

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Q: Select the appropriate words for the following equation:

[ ] x [ ] x [ ] = [ ]

[Niwa Makoto]

[Sudden awakening to carnal desires]

[Trip to the bookstore]

[Running into female classmates]

On a certain blazing summer afternoon.

A certain man on planet earth had a moment.

“My life as a high schooler is rather chaste.”

The half-read novel slipped from the pillow and onto the ground.

Oh… Greetings. Name’s Niwa Makoto. A wholesome high school sophomore. Excuse the strange soliloquy. Must be because of that manga Ryuushi-san recommended me. I rolled over after picking up the book. Ahh… The AC feels so nice. This is paradise itself. You cicadas on the outside, you deserve nothing less. Chirr, Chirr…

“A supposed monochrome book looks pink.”

Is this the terminal stage to my sickness? Am I at the point where my aggregated Youth-Points were roasted and consumed? There’s no questioning to that. Is my speech less interesting now? I rose, unconsciously scratching my head for comfort.

I closed the book, its corner now slightly bent, without marking the page. Perhaps because of lying for so long, both pain and freedom filled my spine.

The second Tuesday of July. Though the tests were over, the results are coming back tomorrow. Still, it’s a rather relaxing day-off. A desire that rode on this laze seemed to surge from within. I twisted my waist; the sound of popping. “Ah.” I yelped. “Ah~ Ah~” The moaning never seized while I cracked my back.

I kept doing so until I was satisfied — or, until that something left me. And for some reason I began hopping. Vertical jumps. Because I couldn’t stand the feeling of my feet being planted all the time.

After a few hops, I could feel the inside of my eyes splitting and drifting apart. So I fixated myself onto the ground, hands on the knees, leaning forward to face this demon in me.

The cries of cicadas seemed to remind me; my conscious was present, but its off running in a grassy plain faraway. To the small image in the corner of my eyes, I whispered.

“What I need now is some lewds.”

Having someone hear this analysis would be the most humiliating thing. And only for me.

As of recent, or should I say, after I moved here, all of my money was spent on transit. It’s something to be glad of, and certainly considered the rudiment of Youth-Points. But that’s not the point: A healthy high school sophomore, living such a wholesome life — how’s he supposed to maintain sanity?

It’s no good as a guy to keep up with the perfunctory rules of 18+ only, and naturally no high schoolers can do just that. Us guys are motivated by such needs — that’s why we can burn so brightly. And to do away with the difficult phrases: pornography.

“But not everything in life will go your way, won’t it?”

There wasn’t a thing in this room that could satisfy my desire. In this room of the Touwa household where nothing is hidden, it could even be said that the tree of youth had withered. A barren land.

I still lament my throwing away of all ‘private’ items when I moved here — all for the sake of saving faces, of course. There’s nothing I’d want more than to go back and beat myself up. I’d even ask him, ‘are ya trying ta be a saint before yer get yerself wet? Huh?” I wondered if all I thought about was getting more Youth-Points and regretted so. “Are ya a dummy, Niwacchi? And ya know how much? Like those kids who make fun of Ryuushi-san’s helmet!”

I scolded myself in imitation of my wonderful classmate, Ryuushi-san. That was actually pretty disgusting. How do girls manage to make such vile sounds?

As I was saying… What was I saying? Right. The importance of the lewds.

Some might claim that I have no need for such things since I already hang out with Ryuushi-san, Maekawa-san and the cousin with whom I live with.

But I can say without a doubt that they are wrong. Or that their youth is far gone.

This is this, and that’s that. As cleaning is different than laundry, even if the purpose is to purify something, the process cannot be any more different. No high schooler can claim to have truly lived youth if it’s entirely wholesome!

“Hold on… Chill.”

I almost shot my leg at the wall with a shout because of my pent-up youth. That would certainly lead to my Kanji certification falling from the wall, as well as danger for my leg.

Almost consumed by my now filth-ridden brain, I looked to the ceiling.

Something like this doesn’t happen without a reason: It was during the exam period when I went to sleep after a serious study session.

First, I dreamt of Erio completely naked underneath the futon, to which I realised I’ve reached my limit. The next day it was of me peeping at Ryuushi-san when she’s changing for club. It’s over. Finally, it was Maekawa-san’s nude cosplay. There’s nothing else to say — that’s not even cosplay any more.

Just yesterday, I saw Meme-san being followed by the words ‘forty years old’ that appeared to have been written professionally in caligraphy. She took off on her bicycle, drawing a storm of dust behind, despite being on concrete. There’s nothing Meme-san can’t do, though I don’t mean that in a flattering way.

I suppose not seeing her naked was my rationality at work.

“That aside.”

I put my hands out in deference. Perhaps because of Meme-san’s face, my impulse waned. Could it be that my aunt scares even this violent desire of mine?

“Just like a middle schooler, huh…”

The momentary decline was soon relit. I paced about in the room, coughing as I inhaled the flowing dust. How do I reach my nirvana?

Neither I nor the Touwa Household had the peak of civilisation — a computer — so the easiest route was ruled out. I was also not trained enough to call and ask my guy friends to straight up ask, ‘I need something hardcore, now.’ I’m left to go out and buy something for the sake of retaining my balance.

I do have a cell phone, but the tiny screen is no good for my fantasy.

“Well, well. Shame I only get motivated for something like this.”

While my lips chattered away something like an excuse, I checked the wallet left inside my backpack on the desk. I can probably buy a book.

Eating a vegetarian buffet with Ryuushi-san gave my wallet a good beating. She might have had a good tomato meal, but all I had were apples. But since I had a great time chatting with Ryuushi-san, it’s all good.

Dirty mags are readily available and at a bargain price at the local convenient store. But that is not the issue here — In other words, it is too mundane and boring a process from an adolescent’s perspective.

Even I am aware of how odd it is to bring about the topic of Youth-point at a time like this, but that’s just how I am. One’s youth is something that is without flavour unless he is conscious of it; I’ve come to the realisation, looking at both the people who couldn’t enjoy themselves more, and those who were bored out of their mind at the school festival.

Perhaps it’s luck: I was the only one home today. Erio did not need me to see her to the Tamura Shop; Meme-san, with a worn-out face from the heat, shambled her way out somewhere.

The time is now to head to the bookstore and come back right away. So, what of spending the afternoon after doing this and that? One has to be especially considerate especially if his cousin lives in the neighbouring room. I must act while she's gone.

The lazy afternoon suddenly shifted into high gear. While the motive was worthy, I wondered I could simply add a point — if it were three guys, then that’s for certain. At times, just a group of friends doing something together weighs far more than the action itself.

“Alright. Let’s go find something.”

I spoke calmly and flatly with a stretch — something I didn’t even bother doing before the sports festival.

While the genre hadn’t been selected, I thought I’ll decide when I get there. The one problem was that I must be quick on my feet, lest I lose my spine after a while in the adult section. Such is the nature of going to the nearby school: you might just run into a friend. And tragedy awaits if it were Meme-san. I wouldn’t want Maekawa-san to see me either, and if Ryuushi-san saw, she’d gladly bestow upon me in front of everyone the name of ‘Shameless-san.’ The summer had just begun, yet if that were to happen, my high school junior year would burn to a cinder.

I shut my eyes while enjoying the last breath of cool air after the AC's been turned off.

As though the melting of snow, I let out a sigh once the heat and the cries of cicadas enveloped me.

'The act of buying a porno mag is merely a game to spend my afternoon.' And so I warned myself before grabbing the wallet and the key to my bike lock.

With another exhale, I slowly bent down to gather the strength to sprint.

‘That's it!’ I commanded my body — Niwa Makoto, for the sake of his youth, dashed out into the summer streets.

While ashamed that my movements were twofold my usual nimbleness, strength swelled.

The July sky was not stingy with its sun, so much so that I was on the verge of shouting a few words along the sound of the bicycle exiting the storage. Still, the pedalling feet did not cease from full speed.

Any more delay will trigger another form of heat from within. No doubt the pincer attack will melt my skin and bones. While the phrase ‘boiling passion’ sounds great, it is simply laughable where mine came from.

Despite it being the afternoon, the sun blazed down; my retina felt as though seared just from facing it, and I do not question the severity of my grimace. Even with my vision limited, without cars roaming in the residential districts, movement was not impeded. Sweat drops seemed unable to form as well, until the bike stops. But perhaps they were waiting for that precise moment — a chance to strike.

I proceeded to the train station, and to the bookstore that I frequent. It is possible that it’s the longer way from the Touwa household, but it’s the only route I know, and it’s the one Ryuushi-san taught me. I continued my journey through the station that had more cobweb than people.

While dubious of how helpful my hurrying was, I did not meet any familiar faces on my way to the store. There was the store’s yellow rooftop, and under it baskets and baskets of magazines. With its front facing the road, the bookstore doesn’t have a parking lot for cars of bicycles. I shoved my bike in the alleyway next to the building.

It was then the accumulating sweat appeared; with the shirt sticking to my skin, disgust came.

Once in a while Ryuushi-san and I visit this store after school. Maekawa-san, too, but only by coincidence. Ryuushi-san recommends me manga, while Maekawa-san novels. The former likes the shounen genre, and the latter sci-fi.

Naturally, I do not pay the nudity section any mind when I’m with either of them.

After locking the bike up, I walked through the store’s front door. As the automatic door opens, frigid air breathed by my neck; the remnant of sweat exited at once, and my temperature dropped instantly. This coldness that surpassed pleasure sent my torso into a tremble, and as if sucking the sweat back in, goose bumps swelled.

The spaciousness of this store’s interior is unimaginable from the tiny door. Even though the area is only half of that of the underground store at the station, for a country boy like me it is more than big enough. Actually, there was a two-story bookstore where I lived. Problem is, it was the only bookstore.

But that’s not important. I must swiftly execute my plan, and even more so when leaving.

Without a moment of doubt I entered, ignoring the weekly magazines and new arrival section, and went straight into the deepest end. The adult section lay there in wait, in the furthest corner. Next to the game strategy section, the wholesome idol photography. With each stride forward I prayed that no one was there… Damn, someone’s there. I paused in response.

What appeared to be a couple of high schoolers were messing around in front of the adult section. The two of them squealed, shoving a dirty mag between each other. The hell? Is this part of the stress relief service of the store? Can I stone these two? Such thoughts appeared in my mind.

The idiot couple appeared to be an older girl and a guy my age. I heard fragments of ‘Tamago-nee’ or ‘Kashi.’ Wonder if they run a chicken farm. But who cares: They’re in my way.

What do I do? I turned to scout the store, but in truth I only looked to a specific place. No one is going to stop this idiot couple. Never mind the girl, the guy is clearly underage. The attendants should say something! I cursed them without any self consciousness.

I wanted to go near the bathroom by the adult section to observe this idiot couple, but instead I ended up killing time at another section to wait for their leave. In truth I had no time, yet something warned me of being rash. Disregarding the possibility that I’m simply a coward I left the strategy section.

This must be the situation in which nothing can sooth the mind. Since I’m also low on money, I had to make the right decision. If a classmate were to see me hunched over at the here, it would be one of the few times that I’m shamed in life. With that in mind, I placed my weight to the right and entered the novel section. A sudden ‘Oh? Transfer student?’ almost sent me flying.

Because of my screaming, everyone from the customers to the attendants stared at me in the silent store. Unlike me, who had shrunken into an embarrassed mess, Maekawa-san approached me composedly. She was in a school uniform. One that I’ve never seen before. On a Sunday.

“What kind of cosplay is this?”

“This is my uniform from middle school. I’m surprised it still fits.”

Maekawa-san laughed flatly. I was in no form of sharing the sentiment. With the heartbeat quickened, my eyes drifted and the scenery changed.

Maekawa-san. She’s here. I bumped into her when I came to grab a dirty mag. It’s a coincidence without any malice. If we didn’t run into one another here, we would still be friends who do not know each other deeply. Why are you here? Why?

I suppose not meeting her in front of the adult section was a blessing in disguise.

“You here for a book too, transfer student? Sure got a lot of free time, eh?”

“Oh… Yeah, I’m not doing much…”

Shoot, my voice cracked near the end. I even started getting the hiccups.

“Mm?” Seeing my strange behaviour, Maekawa-san tilted her head with a grin. Dammit, if she started doubting me, I might just end up as ‘shameless-san.’ So, uh… What do I do?

I pinched my nose in an effort to stop the hiccup; I looked up to Maekawa-san — she’s really lanky.

Nothing stood out with Maekawa-san in her middle school uniform. The clothes were just the right length, meaning she’s been this tall since middle school. Must have been quite eye catching, like when she falls.

Considering herhistory of cosplay, it’s not too odd an outfit —perhaps even normal. Compared to a sandwich or a manju, it is at least a human getup.

“Why the stare? Don’t tell me you have a thing for middle schooler.”

Of course not, I shook my head. How long does it take to stop hiccups? Actually now’s not the time for that. Running into Maekawa-san had just formed a difficult obstacle to scale in this scenario.

“Oh~ You’re trying to stop your hiccup?”

Maekawa-san realised my predicament after a look. With the exception to outfits, the well-known clairvoyance of Maekawa-san worked wondrously. She seemed to be waiting for my recovery, shifting her attention back to the novel with her mouth shut. I appreciate how she handles things. And so I continued, trying my darnedest to stop the hiccups. Just holding my breath like so reminded me the stifling innards of a futon roll.

In fact, I’ve done it once. Despite not being tied tightly, it’s quite stuffy; because your breath comes back to you, it gets really warm around the mouth. Truth to be told I didn’t think I was even in the same dimension.

Anyone who can stay in there for an extended amount of time must be a freak. Thankfully no one like that exists.

“Phew… I think it stopped.”

Following my report Maekawa-san lifted her head up; she smilingly whispered ‘Yeah.’ Hm, very cool of her. Still can’t believe this is the same person who’d get her energy sucked out of her the moment she raise her arms up.

Well…

The problem remained.

Some issues had been amended, but I was far from where I was when I just set foot in here. I was still stuck in a rut. What must I do in order to return to that oh-so-great adult section? For some reason, my tear glands felt weak at the thought. Life is tough for a high school junior, more so than a final exam.

“Uh… So, what brought you here, Maekawa-san?”

Hahahahah. The hell am I saying? And the laughter only made it worse. She squinted her eyes; the friendly smile on Maekawa-san’s face faded.

It didn’t help that my eyes were bouncing around to keep watch of the store. Dammit, stop staring. It’s all over if Maekawa-san notices. No doubt she will follow me and jab me with words like ‘Oh~ so that’s your kink, huh.’ A-actually, that sounds nice too… N-no! I must not be fooled.

“Transfer student, are you burnt out from the exam?”

An apparent shock. If that’s what she thinks, sure; but Maekawa-san is quite sharp. It’s possible that she’ll find out from just that suspicion — Nothing ever ends well when she starts asking questions.

“Oh~ Probably. I guess I lost a few points of IQ over the break.”

So I played along to avoid being interrogated. Perhaps never curious to begin with, Maekawa-san noted with a short ‘oh’ before looking away. As though she was observing the store itself, she looked about and rested her chin in her hand.

“Mm… Mm…”

“Uh, what’s the matter?”

“Oh, I was just thinking that you’d be hanging with Touwa or Ryuushi.”

“Uh, I’m all alone actually.”

“I see… That’s unusual for a playboy like you.

'Unfortunate,' she said. It did not appear, from her grin, however, that she’s at all displeased. Such an envious insult doesn’t fit me, you know. I am, though, around girls often as of recent.

Ryuushi-san san aside, Erio is more of a… A fledgling near it its mother.

“Oh yeah. You sound a little twitchy. What’s got you on edge?”

Ugh… She once again prodded without a hint of fear. I choked, almost started hiccupping again. I sounded nervous. Huh, didn’t know that.

“Uh… I don’t… I think.”

I paused, but all it did was make it sound intentional. Annoyingly, sweat poured from my back. And because of that, I wanted to pinch my neck and back. Did they turn down the AC? I looked toward the ceiling.

“And you’re always saying ‘uh.’”

“Uh… Ahaha…”

This must be what a suspect feels during an investigation. A fear of the ground behind you disappearing: This must be what they call despair.

“You’re hiding something… And not something you are hiding well.”

She looked down with a smile. It was an expression of finding something more interesting than a book. Others probably saw me as a cowardly high school kid getting bullied by a huge woman. But since nobody would give me a helping hand, I remained hopeless.

If it were for something else I’d have given up already, but this wasn’t something that could be so easily settled. Especially since I’m familiar with her. My pride will never allow for this.

Though there are possible repercussions following my trump card, here I go.

“I must be in your way! Take your time!”

“Way to change the topic.”

I simply gave up on talking. It was the only way.

“Hit me up again if you found another novel! Bye!”

“Ah, there he goes… Transfer student, wait~”

I escaped into the manga section without heeding to the enfeebled voice that lagged behind me. I’ll wonder about what to do with her tomorrow later — what’s important is now.

It’s not like the school sells something like a dirty mag, so anything beats getting nothing and still have to deal with her tomorrow. “Eh? Niwacchi~” Crap.

T-this distinctively laid-back voice… I looked up slowly. It had to be Ryuushi-san. Perhaps just finished with her club, she had her backpack slung over a uniform, standing in font of the comic section. Please, stop putting these obstacles in my life.

I coughed from the dust that was driven up by my ceaseless challenges.

“Oh no~ NIwacchi, what’s wrong? A summer flu?”

No one else could sound so relaxed and have such round eyes. There’s Ryuushi-san in the bookstore. Yes: fate had been seized. The certainty known as coincidence was preventing me from getting a lewd mag.

“Oh, uh, I was just so shocked by this funny thing known as fate. I’m a big bag of surprises after all.”

Naturally a point is given whenever one runs into a girl classmate on a day-off, but in such circumstance I felt only bleakness.

“I had no idea, Niwacchi. So if I, Ryuuko, go inta a parallel universe and grab another Niwacchi, ya would be real surprised.”

Any one would be.

“Still, what a coincidence. What a wonderful coincidence.”

“Hahahah… Sure.” It had to be predestined.

This stroke of fate smells like Youth-points! I will kick whoever says that.

“What are ya here for, Niwacchi?”

She asked with a smile while showing the cover of the manga she’s holding. Uh, what do I say… I’m here for a book that gets you excited only when you’re alone! Hah! Yeah right.

I tried to buy time with a gross laugh. ‘No… It can’t be…” Ryuushi-san spoke with a dramatic tone and an exaggerated pose.

“Ya are here to buy those nudies books!”

!@#$. Aghhh, my heart yelped, but thankfully I did not. That would reveal the painful truth.

Ryuushi-san recovered with a refreshed smile.

“Jay~ Kay.”

“J-jay, kay~”

“Oh? Ya don’t look so good, Niwacchi. Yer face’s all mushed up.”

The pain. My chest hurts. The test of courage is fitting for the summer, but I need my heart for the rest of the year, too.

I turned to the sensation of a stare — there was Maekawa-san from behind the shelf. She didn’t budge, possibly from seeing Ryuushi-san; hiding back into the shadow, she disappeared with that meaningful grin.

“Mm?” Ryuushi-san was intrigued by my actions, meaning she did not notice Maekawa-san. It is not my concern what she will do in this circumstance. But what is the circumstance, indeed? Let us analyse. I felt my chest.

Firstly, Ryuushi-san, who’d just finished club activity, is in the manga section. Presently she’s comparing the book prices next to me, all with a scowl on her face. Such a manner in contemplation revealed to me what the phrase ‘Money Niagara Fall’ meant — she must be quite hand-tied.

Maekawa-san, in her middle school uniform, is in the novel section. Oh, there’s her head from behind the shelf. We met eyes; she snickered. ‘So you were totally hanging out with Ryuushi,’ she seemed to radiate. It’s a misunderstanding, of course, but our distance made any explanations impossible.

That aside, with the total of four eyeballs on me, I am basically being monitored by a camera. I shouldn’t expect them to completely ignore a classmate they ran into at a store. Ryuushi-san, especially, was emitting an aura of ‘let’s go home together!’ or ‘Wanna go for some tea at the coffee store?’ Normally I’d thrilled, but now would be disastrous. I comprehended deeply that time and place do matter.

What’s worse was the idiot couple in the adult section. I squinted at the distance to see that they’re still there. The hell are they doing? How much time are they going to waste just standing in a place where you can’t open the books? Idiot couples lost in their world is absolutely a public nuisance.

Fine, I won’t see them as the worst problem. I will just ignore them and find the book I want, and go straight to the counter. That was the plan, but because of other factors it won’t be that easy any more. It was a mistake to have hesitated earlier. I could only grimace at this kind of life lesson with a sigh.

Hurry, think.

Think of a way — A way that would avoid the eyes of both Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san.

If there’s anything of relief, it’d be the fact that the Touwa’s weren’t here. Now those are of a different territory, and far more destructive. Erio would follow me incessantly while yelling ‘cousin,’ while Meme-san would possible led me by the hand to the adult section, ‘this way, bro!’ Thank goodness.

But I must hurry. A premonition told me that those two will eventually join us; as the air chilled me, the feeling came.

“Niwacchi, ya are spacing out. Ya alright? Feelin’ sick?”

“Oh!” There’s Ryuushi-san staring from up close. Her face was in a spot where I could easily touch her lips, if I were to look down like to greet my paper model club president from middle school. I fretted and backed off a step. Damn my cowardice for backing off. Can I not control my legs?

“Oh… Ya are really jumpy today, Niwacchi.”

Ryuushi-san, oblivious to her own careless actions, clapped her hands joyously. Dammit, she’s so adorable. Her cuteness and ditz are making this difficult. What do I do? What can I do? Damn, I wish I knew. And so, I complimented Ryuushi-san in the backward and non-sensical way.

“Niwacchi, are ya here to buy some manga too?”

“What? Manga what? Oh, uh… Manga. Yeah, what should I get?”

I actually don’t even want to get any: anything extra would prevent me from accomplishing my goal. Naturally I could only refuse Maekawa-san’s recommendation, but that won’t make things easier.

‘So what are you here for?’ They’d ask about my actions. Maekawa-san, especially, loves to tease me when I’m vulnerable. As for Ryuushi-san, I can probably just fool her. Seeing how puffy her cheeks are, I grew confident. Ahh, I wanna poke them. Why do girls all look so soft? Is it the glycoprotein? It’s the glycoprotein, right? Does it bubble?

“Oh… Uh… Huh?”

“Uh…” My finger already sunk itself inside of Ryuushi-san’s face.

I had no recollection of what transpired. Like the Smiling Salesman himself I stuck my index finger into Ryuushi-san’s cheek. Uh oh. I tried to endure, but to do something so strange right after letting my guard down, can I even live through this one? Poke, poke.

Ryuushi-san stared blankly. She’s spacing out. Uh, what kind of reaction is this? As I pondered, Ryuushi-san shouted as though immolated. ‘Uwahhh!” Despite the glares from the others, she bounced about.

“W-w-what are ya doing! Niwacchi, what, uhh, what are ya doing!”

She exploded, flapping her arms like wings; the spot that was poke blushed faintly, but was now no different than the rest of her face.

Her face was beet red.

“R-Ryuushi-san, keep your voice down!”

“It’s Ryuuko! And, uh, uhhh, what are ya doing!”

“W-well, I just thought… Your cheek looked soft…”

“What!? Doncha have something more ta say? D-doncha know what control is?”

Since she’d only being saying ‘what are ya doing,’ I think it’s settled.

“Seriously… Wuu…”

She felt her cheeks while squirming, whispering ‘Ryuuko’s embarrassed’ before covering her entire face. I was flustered as well. Maekawa-san definitely saw this, and the other people must have decided that we’re the most annoying people here. Guess we won’t be coming to this store for a while.

Now I absolutely must get the goods. While Ryuushi-san’s looking down, I stuck my neck out to see the shelf behind her.

Oh, the chicken feeder couples left. With faces the colour of ripe persimmon, they left stuck to one another. The porn that they were shoving to each other earlier was for some reason now in the hand of the girl. As they passed us on the way to the register, I heard a little of what they said.

Basically it sounded like ‘if we don’t buy it, you will come here to buy it anyway, Kashi-kun. Onee-san will go ahead and buy it to make sure that doesn’t happen.’

So Kashi’s his last name. Not that I care. The idiot couple is gone, with no one else in front of the adult section. It’s come — judgement day.

Think. Think!

“……”

Nothing. There was no strategy to buying the lewd magazine. Being a high schooler is truly suffering. Since it's come to this, I shall trust my instinct. It doesn’t matter if it’s this or that, just play along with this or that.

Any further activities with Ryuushi-san will incur more embarrassment or a stupid grin on my face, so I turned around and walked away with ridiculous strides.

“N-Niwacchi? Where ya going?”

“Just something.”

I went over to the entrance; after exiting the automatic door, I began moving as if gathering the humid air outside. From the magazines laid inside the baskets by the door, I picked up two book in the pile and returned. As abashed as she was, Ryuushi-san followed; with a rigid smile, I silently moved toward the novel section.

“Hi, Maekawa-san.”

I spoke up to Maekawa-san, who was now kneeling by the novel section. I wasn’t, of course, thinking proudly about how I didn’t start my sentence with a ‘uhh.’

Letting Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san see each other, and then sneaking out to buy a dirty mag. It was no strategy — but a test of luck.

The interaction, however, of these two is never something to be taken lightly of. If there’s anything I’ve learned from the past, this would be it. And so I will see how far this will go.

“Eh? Niwacchi, you came with Maekawa-san?”

Ryuushi-san appeared surprised after knowing the existence of her classmate (are they friends?). Shock turned into displeasure. As for Maekawa-san, her lips hooked upward like the usual.

“What about you? Wasn’t there a certain annoying idiot couple around here?”

With a sarcastic and teasing voice, she inquired our being together as coincidence or intentional.

“I… I’m not an idiot! And we’re not a couple!”

Ryuushi-san flapped her wings about. Hmm… This pose… The time is now. I moved as soon as I see Maekawa-san absorbed in Ryuushi-san’s reaction.

“Uh, I’m going to the toilet.”

I departed as soon as I whispered the words. ‘Oh… Alright’ Maekawa-san nodded lightly. Ryuushi-san couldn’t hear it over the flapping, but at the very least she did not notice me leaving.

The bathroom was located inside the bookstore. And the adult books are in front of the bathroom. What a wonderful arrangement: There is nothing suspicious about me going there. As though motivated by a filled bladder I strode toward the toilets; with every steps, my heart and pulse accelerated.

'Shock turned into displeasure. As for Maekawa-san, her lips hooked upward like the usual.'

I shot a glance toward the store entrance; the rowdy idiot couples were poking each other while exiting. Still staring, I prayed for their misfortune.

With disregard to the adult section I paced into the stalls. After entering, I rested my back on the door. With a thumb measuring my pulse, I waited for my time.

Too short, it’d be suspicious; too long, Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san might begin wandering around after the former calms down. I must time myself to quickly obtain my stuff. It’s almost a competition, but with just myself.

While the bathroom was clean, due to the lack of AC inside, sweat began dripping. This heat drowned me like the rising sea, suffocating me. Phew… Haa… I was thirsty, and the dryness drove me nuts. It smelled as though burnt. The moisture in my nose~ This dehydration and my own nervousness made the perfect torture. I shook my head and pushed the door outward.

The numbness crawling up my limbs was just like when I was getting ready for a football game in grade school. This anxiety will eventually corrode my finger, I thought.

It’s a feeling that one couldn’t help but feel during a test. I had never thought I’d feel the same buying a porn mag, but it’s a good sign. It’s not the same as not being able to move — it allows for the relaxation of the body. While the fluid in my guts pained me, I could easily manoeuvre in this state.

Experience tells me I work best like this. I suppose a proper amount of pressure and tension serves to lubricate the gears of life.

After the longest thirty seconds in my life, I exhaled the dry air and took a deep breath.

I bit down onto the burnt-tasting air.

It’s time to go. I rushed out of the bathroom door.

Two steps, and I reached the middle of the adult section. I pried my eyes open, searching for the right book cover. I had no time for the those in the shelves: Taking the books in and out will take too much time. Not a single second could be wasted, and I cannot afford to stall. My back was extremely sensitive from not wanting to be seen by them. Each cover had alluring arts, and if possible, I’d rather spend about two hours to find the right one. Unfortunately, I can only settle for a good option instead of the best.

I heard girly laughter from behind. Driven by the sound, I hunched over to pick up a book. ‘Alright!’ I turned around after checking the cover.

The girl on the cover looked like Ryuushi-san. It’s one of the coincidences in all the recent one that didn’t matter too much. I totally didn’t pick the book because of that.

My ears and sides of the face brightened as I handed the porn to the store clerk. It felt like handing a love letter to an admired senior.

The old lady, whose makeup was coming off, stared at the book on the counter, then me.

I froze from worrying her asking for my age, but she began tapping on the register without a word; I relaxed. She’s probably just displeased with Ryuushi-san’s yelling earlier.

She coldly stated the price, to which I almost bit my tongue upon replying. I took a thousand yen bill out; the jingles of the register came.

The amount of change could be described as the tears of a sparrow. This book cost me all abilities to visit stores. Well, I guess I could still buy some snacks.

After shoving the book into a bag, the attendant gave me the goods and along the receipt.

I took the bag with shaky hands. As I gripped onto it, the sense of conviction and accomplishment swelled into my hands, my nails even digging into my palm.

Considering that the bag of this store was semi-transparent, I sandwiched the porn between the magazines from earlier. No one would be able to see behind the bold colour of tan.

Despite wanting to bathe in my victory with a fist raised, I left the register calmly in order to keep low. With one more exhalation, I went to meet up with Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san at the novel section. Hopefully they didn’t see me.

“Hey, kept you waiting.” That sounded phony.

Even I felt my waving was empty.

“Ah, Niwacchi. Where did ya go? Ryuuko had it rough trying to explain myself.”

“Sorry, I was in the restroom. Aren’t you two buying something?”

“Huh, you’re awfully polite, transfer student.”

“Not at all. You should get your books though.”

I egged them on to keep things rolling. Their height differed so much, yet Maekawa-san was somehow easier to push. How strange.

“Aww~ What are ya doing?”

Though she wasn’t entirely willing, she wasn’t putting up much a fight compared to when I poked her cheeks. Perhaps because of the clothes in between, my guilt-ridden heart wasn’t filled with hopes.

“Get this, Niwacchi, Maekawa-san was all like…”

“Okay, okay~”

Upon hearing my perfunctory reply, Maekaw-san — not Ryuushi-san — chuckled.

As if she’s discovered something… No, that’s just not possible.

I was on edge the entire time while waiting for them. I pictured myself taking the plastic bag out and hiding it behind me, but I cringed at just how desperate I was being.

But that’s youth for ya. The weight in my hand reminded elated me so. I smirked.

After they were done, we left the store together.

On the way back, Ryuushi-san, with a hand shielding her eyes from the sun, asked:

“What did ya get, Niwacchi?”

“Hm? A stiff book.”

The cover was stiffer than a comic book's. True story.

Giving my exhaustion to the sun and the singed air, I slowly closed my eyes.

In the darkness, I nonchalantly and lovingly counted my pulses.

“Hm?”

I pondered. In my room. Alone, of course. Sitting on my bed, arms crossed. Like a scientist encountering a difficult issue or a student a test, I moaned while staring down at the dirty mag. My finger tip lifted a page.

My brain and the inside of my eye spun.

I could almost hear its sound inside my perverted mind.

“No! No! No!” I tumbled about. “Ugh…” I seized up with what sounded like a weep. “Argh…” I reached into the air.

“My pink night!” My simple evening seemed to sink like the usual.

Wisdom, bravery and perversion: with these three traits, I returned victoriously from the battle at the bookstore. The only person who knew what I bought should be just the clerk. And so what? I should returned with the triumph of winning at life. That is, until I saw the cover.

“Dammit… I can’t get it out of my head… It must be them.”

Yep, there’s the porn magazine. Let’s pop it open and see those fleshy colours. And then the girl’s face. Yet, the eyes and brain that should be enjoying themselves had a mysterious chemical change. I could only see Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san’s naked body! I cannot do this! This unpredictable yet meaningless guilt assaulted. Aghhhh… I squirmed with deep sighs. Like a teenage girl I burrowed my face into the pillow and kicked my feet.

“Hmm… This is also youth. Hahah~” Shut up, ya idiot!

I bounced on the bed, my breath now a mess. After failing to get up, I mumbled to myself — rather than to being tranquillised, I was exhausted.

“Damn… It’s too peaceful.”

There I was, troubled by a problem that was hundreds of billions of times smaller than the continuous existence of this planet. Well, I suppose I am one of those billions of people, so relatively speaking, it’s probably a big deal.

Erio’s got her own issues (e.g. the beast of futon roll). Ryuushi-san’s got her own problems (e.g. call me Ryuuko). Maekawa-san’s got her own mysteries (what is her name?). We live day by day, guided by something.

“Is now the best time to be pretentious?”

I moaned. ‘Ugh…’ and stuck my hand toward the dirty mag with more trepidation than with a reference book. Thinking that I’d conquered my fear, I flipped the page open with the tip of my finger.

“Aghh!”

'I could only see Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san’s naked body! I cannot do this!'

Perhaps because of the page’s background being a blue sky, Erio popped into my mind. This isn’t good… Even more so with Erio! She’s the beast of futon! That’s kinda weak as a reason!

And it’s not even a real reason! And it’s not why I’m rejecting this book! A man isn’t a man if he says no to porn! Alright! I got this! Here I go: I’m going to casually flip through the book, elegantly view it, and enjoy my night—

“I’m home, cousin~” Pitter patter!

A voice as loud as the stomps in the hallway escaped my throat as I jumped. The terrifying realisation of me floating in the air froze a part of my brain.

I couldn’t even hide the book because only my time was stopped.

“Cousin?”

As the voice came with Erio's entrance, I finally was able to move my hand to hide the book under my sheets. The cover aside, she saw the entirety of my motion.

“Mm?”

“Welcome home (お帰り).”

I greeted flatly with a pun.

It escaped me that Erio had returned. I did not hear the door opening or her climbing up the stairs. It’s probably because I was too occupied with my troubles.

Tears almost erupted. Could it be that she heard the noises I made earlier? She stared at my pillow with her head cocked. Naturally, it was where I hid the dirty magazine.

“Cousin. You’re hiding something.”

“No, there’s nothing in the sheets.”

Shouldn’t I be glad that it wasn’t Meme-san who saw? It wouldn’t take her seconds to see through me. I raise my cup to Erio’s naivete.

I was finally able to use the book too. But because my neighbour, who’s still technically a female, had returned, not much can be done. In other words, I won't be enjoying it.

She should be more considerate for the high schooler living here.

“Mm… Mm…” She turned her head left and right in attempt to peek under the sheet.

“Hmm…” And I blocked her with my body.

Like a metronome we shook our heads. Erio desperately tried to see my bed, and I guarded it.

“Sunday special: Cousin’s secret.”

“How about you try to raise your hourly wage instead of doing something so boring?”

Erio moved in. Damn, how contemptible! Not that there’s a rule against it. What happens if Erio sees the book? It’s confirmed that Meme-san will make fun of me for about a month, but what of this girl? Hmm… Embarrassment? Or curiousity? It’s all unknown territory. And one that I don’t care for.

“I! Am! Home!”

It’s one thing if it were rescue, but the unfitting voice was that of my forty-year-old aunt. It was closer to the shouts of the grade schoolers from across the streets.

“Meme-san is back.”

My finger pointed toward the hallway from aside Erio’s face.

“Mm.” She nodded, yet her approach persisted. Rather than keeping up with this futile defence, I got off the bed. Erio turned about, and I shoved her out.

“Go see your favourite mom.”

“The mission of a TV ratings hunter is to discover the cousin’s secret.”

“Your mom probably has more than I do.”

“Twenty years ago~ Twenty years old~ Lala~”

A mysterious song came from outside.

“She’s probably singing along with an air-guitar solo. Go on.”

“Mm…”

Pushed out of the door, Erio looked back with a dissatisfied pout. She coveted the hiding place of the pornography. Seriously! Just stick with your futon!

“If we live till four hundred~ Then forty is like eight~”

Lala? Her singing sounded worse than that of the drunk old men at a Karaoke competition. A little more sentimental, I suppose.

I nudged Erio out of my room. Either bored or desisted, she looked back at not the bed, but me.

“Please look forward to next week’s Sunday Special.”

“It’s not a special any more if its weekly.”

With that final nudge on her back, I sent Erio down the stairs. Phew…

I stayed to make sure she didn’t fake me out before gunning back into the room. If Erio went back to her room next door, I won’t be able to use the book well — I must do what I must do now.

While that was my thought…

“She… That forty-year-old might appear in my fantasy…”

Perhaps because of her shouting, I sense Meme-san’s presence growing ever stronger. It will be a lost cause if she appears. My rational defence will collapse, and I will forever be traumatised. Why must I be horrified during my times of pleasure seeking?

In the end, I lamented at how crappy of a day off this was. The book remained unused in my possession.

And I now must live an apprehensive life like just now with my neighbour.

The thing in my hand only served to shackle me.

“Sigh…”

I’d given up on counting my points.

“In the end…”

I probably won’t be having a good dream.

With the prayer that I won’t see Meme-san, I shut the lights off.

Good night, and good bye. I’ll face this tiny problem tomorrow.

Translator's Notes and References

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