High School DxD:Dragon Magazine 2011-11
Life.4 Records of Chichiryuutei's Pleasure Adventure
One day after school.
“…Fake… Oppai Dragon?”
After hearing the news, I… No, everyone in the ORC had doubtful expressions on our faces. Well, we weren’t expecting this kind of news so it was very shocking to us…
After “Oppai Dragon”, a show that has us as main characters, aired on the underworld’s television, we became celebrities in the underworld. They are selling merchandise from our shows and apparently, the House of Gremory which owns the copyrights to the shows are making huge profit out of this.
Buchou sighed and continued.
“Yes. According to Grayfia’s report, a group posing as the [Oppai Dragon] team are taking down bad guys at the outskirts of land owned by the House of Gremory. As you guys have guessed from ‘group’, it seems like they are not only copying Ise but me, Koneko and Yuuto as well.”
People are posing as us and defeating the….. bad guys. That doesn’t seem that bad, does it…?
“It’s true that I feel weird there is a fake me out there, but since they are not causing any harm and instead doing something good, I don’t think there’s a problem there?”
Buchou shook her head when she heard me.
“That’s not true. It's fine that they are catching criminals, but whether they win or lose against them, there will be rumours about it. If a rumour like [Oppai Dragon loses against small time criminals] spreads around the underworld, Ise will be in some trouble right? They can even cause unwanted grudges against us, so it’s not good.”
That is true. Even if I didn't fight, and fake-lost against an enemy, my reputation would fall. Not only that, I don’t like to think about the criminals who won against my fake and start boasting about it.
I will be irritated if some idiot appeared shouting “I won against Oppai Dragon!”
Buchou spoke with her hands on her forehead.
“This is a top secret that isn’t known in the underworld media. So before rumours spread, let’s go and fix it ourselves. If media get hold of this news, it will cause headache. Not only that, the House of Gremory owns the copyright. We have to be more strict with fakes and patrol them. It also happened in land owned by the House of Gremory so as the Heir, I can’t let this pass.”
That’s also true. In the future, Lands owned by the House of Gremory will be Buchou’s lands. If she doesn't manage this matter smoothly as next heir apparent, her leadership as a High-class Devil will be questioned.
“….I am interested in the fakes.”
“Ara ara, Koneko-chan. Being hostile to your fakes already.”
Koneko and Akeno-san spoke.
…By the way, Koneko, who was emitting hostile aura toward her fake, was sitting on my lap…. If I remember correctly, Koneko’s character in [Oppai Dragon] was Oppai Dragon’s cute helper [Hellcat]. It seems like she thinks her fake can’t be trusted.
“My fake, hmm. If I remember in the show, I’m the antagonist [Darkness Knight Fang]… I wonder who that is.”
Kiba tilted his head. That’s right, Kiba’s character in the show is the Boss of Oppai Dragon’s enemies.
I wonder who is my fake? They do sell [Oppai Dragon] armour sets in underworld so it might be some middle-aged man wearing the suit…
I was having stupid thoughts like that and waited for the day we met the fakes.
Finally that day has come
After arriving at the underworld, using Magic Circles and a Griffin, we headed off toward the area that the fakes supposedly appear. It was the countryside on the outskirts of land owned by the House of Gremory.
To get there, we had to cross huge mountains and rivers with Griffin. And the village that we’ve arrived in is a small rural village with windmills and rice fields with nice mountain scenery.
We couldn’t sense much presence here; roads were a mix of dirt and paved roads.
There are old-looking shops around here. No shopping mall or convenience store to speak of. This place was total countryside.
“This area is known for its barley and traditional crafts.”
It was a village that fits the image of traditional craft making. Looks like an easygoing place.
“I want to live in this kind of place at least once.”
Asia said with a twinkle in her eyes. Ah it seems like she prefers these kinds of places rather than flashy cities.
Hmm, since Devils have a long life span, it won’t be bad living in this kind of place with Asia for 10 years or so in the future. 100 years might be too difficult. I’m a city person so I won’t be able to live without malls and department stores.
“Countryside in the Underworld is also an interesting place!”
Irina said while taking pictures of the surroundings with curiosity.
She followed us saying it will be interesting… well, she’s with us all the time, like she’s part of the Gremory servants anyway, even if she’s Michael-sama’s [Ace]…..
“Countryside such as this village are often the target of Stray Devils or monsters.”
Kiba told us. Stray Devils, they are dangerous beings who leave their owners and use their powers however they want to. Villages with small populations not well guarded by the House will be great for them to hide in.
Buchou nodded her head and continued.
“Yes. Stray Devils often hide in mountain areas. After gaining some power there, they often prey on villagers there. If we find them, we need to get rid of them quickly. We can’t sacrifice the precious lives of people who live in our land.”
Prey on villagers…. Dangerous lot they are….
Right then, some villagers ran toward our direction.
“Oppai Dragon-sama won against another monster!”
“Cheers for Oppai Dragon!”
They were saying such things while walking past us.
To hear about our fakes right after we arrive! And by what the villagers say, it seems like the fakes we are looking for are in the direction the villagers are all going.
One of the villagers walking past us noticed Buchou…
Tilted his head with a confused face and muttered, “Ah, she must have dyed her hair” and walked off. Did he confuse buchou with someone else? Well, I can imagine who that person confused her with…
“Well, at least that saved us some trouble.”
Buchou looked toward the direction the villagers are walking toward.
Hahaha, it seems like we don’t need to go search for the fakes….
People were gathered in a wide open area. And in the middle of them, there were a few people and a huge creature. One of them shouted at the top of her voice.
“We have defeated a monster that was targeting this village so you are all safe now! Ohohohoho!”
Very familiar voice. And familiar… crimson hair?!
Buchou in her dress was there!
I, no, all of us looked at our buchou! ….Yes, she’s right here with us!
But in front of our eyes there was Buchou… no, a person who looks identical to Buchou was standing there! The only difference was their outfit! Our buchou was wearing the Kuoh Academy uniform, and the fake was wearing the dress of [Switch Princess] from the television show! Buchou’s jaws were wide open looking like she couldn't believe her eyes.
Standing next to the monster they defeated, Switch Princess, the fake, shouted.
“This monster is a servant of the Evil Dragon who is targeting this Village, Crom Cruach! We have defeated it before it can cause any harm!”
Hearing that, the villagers rejoiced.
“That’s Switch Princess for you! Thank you. Thank you!”
“Thanks to Sekiryuutei and his group, the village has gotten more peaceful!”
“Thank you Princess Rias! I’m so happy that I live in land owned by the House of Gremory!”
There were even people crying for joy! Since she looks just like the real deal, it’s not impossible to think that the fake is Buchou, daughter of Lord Gremory! Even so, what’s going on here!
“Again, our Sekiryuutei Oppai Dragon defeated the monster in one punch! Cheers for Oppai Dragon!”
Fake Switch Princess introduced a person in armour! Ooh, Red body armour! But doesn’t that look very similar to mine….
….? I swear I’ve seen that armour before. Although it’s strikingly similar to mine, small details are different.
“”Oppai Dragon! Oppai Dragon!””
Villagers started to chant that to praise the person.
At that same moment, Ddraig burst into tears. Why are you crying? It seems like he’s sensitive to the word [Oppai Dragon]. Was he so shocked that fake was being praised that much? Hmm, I don’t know….
Instead of feeling ill toward the fake who’s being praised, I was comparing the image I had in my head and what I’m seeing right there….
“…..Um, um, um.”
Koneko, who was standing next to me, had a stiff expression and pointed in front of us. For Koneko, who doesn’t show her emotions easily, to be agitated that much. What is happening….
I looked toward where trembling Koneko was pointing at. And I saw…. Wearing a [Hellcat] costume from the television show [Oppai Dragon], it was the owner of a dynamite body… Kuroka……………….?!
“Everyone~ It will be nice if you can return the favour a little bit Nyan~”
Kuroka spun around on the spot and tilted her head cutely. And showed her well-developed breasts and teased male villagers.
Their eyes turned into hearts and they started to throw their money at Kuroka! By the way, Kuroka is a member of my rival, Vali’s, team and Koneko’s older sister! A Nekomata with a very erotic body!
At that moment, I realized what was going on. Actually, there weren’t any other possibilities!
That red armour! It looks like Hakuyuukou’s Divine Dividing Scale Mail! It was a red Hakuyuukou!
When I looked more closely, there was a man in a suit a bit further away from the rest. It was the Holy Sword Caliburn user Arthur!
“…Ah, it was the Vali team.”
Kiba muttered next to me.
That’s right! It was the Vali team! That bastard, has he now dyed his armour red and is pretending to be me?!
Vali, Kuroka and Arthur!
T-Then that fake Buchou must be….
When I guessed who that person could be, Buchou walked toward her!
“Ohohoho! Now that we defeated the monster, shall we have a party at restaurants like usual…”
Buchou slapped the fake Switch Princess who was laughing loudly.
Then she grabbed her throat and dragged her somewhere.
“Y-Y-Y-You are Switch! W-W-What are you doing here?!”
The bewildered fake shouted! Wait, that voice was… Bikou!
“I knew it…. you damn monkey!”
Buchou burst into rage! Dangerous aura seeped out of her body!
That person, Bikou?! Looking at the situation, the guy in red armour shook his head and opened his mouth.
“Hehehe, it seems like we need to end the act here for now.”
That voice definitely belonged to Vali.
“Two Switch Princesses…?”
“Could it be a fan cosplaying…..?”
Since there were two Switch Princesses….. Next heir apparent, villagers were confused.
It seems like we need to move somewhere more quiet…
At a corner of the village, at a riverside where no one was, we the Gremory team stood in front of the fake [Oppai Dragon] Vali team.
If we were seen talking to terrorists it might be trouble later. Although it seems like people in this village were not very well connected to the outside world, so I don’t think it will cause big trouble.
“Hehehe, it seems like we are caught.”
After smoke settled, we saw Bikou returning from Switch Princess back to his original form. Yokai and Son Wukong’s descendant… did he use magic to turn into Switch Princess? Can he do that using some Yokai magic?
“Hehehe, well the real ones have appeared so it can’t be helped.”
Vali turned his armour back into white and released it. Dark silver hair and blue eyes, it was Vali! Did he use his power to turn his armour red?
Buchou glared at him and opened her mouth.
“What is going on here?”
Hm, the simple question had a slightly desperate tone. Bikou scratched his cheek and muttered.
“Hahaha, you see…”
After obtaining information that [Crescent Circle Dragon] Crom Cruach might be hiding in the area around here, Vali wanted to see him and came here.
But by chance, he saw this village being attacked by an unknown monster and he defeated it.
And to hide the fact that he is a terrorist, he disguised himself as [Oppai Dragon].
When they defeated the monster, they received thank-you's from the villagers here and one event after another, they became the village’s heroes as the fake [Oppai Dragon] group.
By the way, Le Fay was on an expedition with Fenrir and Gogmagog.
“Crom Cruach. The [evil dragon] that’s rumored to have already died isn’t it.”
Ross-san murmured with her hand on her chin.
Already dead? But dragon Vali team is looking for it…
Arthur fixed his glasses and spoke
“There’s also a legend that he’s still alive. As a dragon who oversees war and death, there’s a theory that he was killed by Christians, but there’s also a theory that he’s in a deep sleep and hiding somewhere.”
If I remember, most of the legendary dragons have either retired or were killed. My Ddraig and Vali’s Albion were sealed inside Sacred Gears after being defeated.
Out of all the dragons, you can count the ones with extraordinary powers with one hand, I heard.
“Well, there is a dragon hiding here targeting this village using these monsters. It’s not Crom Cruach, though.”
“Then why are you guys still here? You don’t have any more business here, right?”
Xenovia asked a fair question. That’s right. As terrorists and people seeking for stronger foes, this village has become a useless place for them. So it’s weird that they decided to stay behind.
“Well, we are just returning the favor.”
Vali said that and Bikou spoke.
“After defeating monsters people who thought we are the real [Oppai Dragon] group treated us with delicious food, asking us to at least stay until the Dragon boss is defeated.”
“And mimicking [Oppai Dragon] is so fun nyan~”
Kuroka added that.
“That’s right. I also had fun mimicking Switch Princess! So I ended up giving them some fan service!”
It seemed like Bikou was having fun. Hmm, these guys are still unpredictable and not only that, I don’t even get the reason for their actions! Seriously, I don’t know if they are good guys or bad guys.
Well, I know that they are a troublesome lot and not our friends for sure.
[…Oi red, I’m mimicking such a thing called [Oppai Dragon]… Sob. How did this happen…!]
[I’m sorry white. I don’t even know either…it seems like I get into weird situations without realizing it…Sob…]
…Two Heavenly Dragons have started crying again. Looks like Vali joined Bikou’s mischief… Hakuryuukou, who dyed its armour red and started to mimic me. I can’t possibly imagine how Albion feels right now.
Buchou sighed and said
“…as a member of the House of Gremory, I give you my thanks for helping this village. We are also at fault for not realizing this village was under attack by monsters.”
Then Bikou started to tap Buchuo’s head loudly while talking.
“That’s cool! Not even the great House of Gremory can look after everything like this tiny little village. But there are only two TV stations available here. Not even the tokusatsu show [Oppai Dragon] airs here. They only knew about Oppai Dragon through the main news on Channel 1 or by radio? Wouldn’t this huge information divide be a problem? Well, thanks to that we didn’t get outed as fakes though.”
“……That’s right, we should set up some TV towers here.“
Buchou’s eyes twitched.
It seems like she’s mad at Bikou tapping her head…! But it seems like Bikou hasn’t realized this and keeps tapping her head.
“Also won’t it be good if they build supermarkets or convenience shops here? Only thing here is the corner shop with a poor selection and a wagon.”
“…T-That is true.”
“Not only that, won’t it be good if they have a ramen shop here? If you want, we can run it for you; I’m into making ramen lately. I’ll show you the taste of ramen full of vegetables and pork!”
“………I-I don’t think that has anything to do with this situation? And also, stop tapping my head!”
Buchou smacked Bikou’s hand away! Her anger gauge is increasing!
“Hehehe, that’s scary. I don’t think you can fulfill your duty as Switch Princess with a short temper like that?”
“That’s none of your business! The only person who makes me mad like this is you! Also! Stop calling me Switch Princess! I don’t want to be called that by you! And also, you guys are currently illegal immigrants here!”
…They have a relationship like dog and monkey, wait it's more like Princess-Monkey relationship…. Even an elegant person like Buchou loses her temper when talking to this guy.
When Bikou made a Saru(Monkey) hand seal it made loud noise and smoke came up! When the smoke cleared, a fake Buchou wearing Switch Princess's costume appeared! You transformed again!
“I think I’m more fitting to be Switch Princess.”
He said in Buchou’s voice! His hand movement and the way he walks are exactly like Buchou! I didn’t know he was this good at mimicking other people!
By the way, Buchou was….so mad that a tendon on her temple was bulging out! Koneko then for some reason gave her a banana she had brought with her.
“…People keep picking fights with me lately…….. Likes of you mimicking me….? Ohohohoho you, a monkey? Here, take this banana and go back to the mountains.”
“Confident aren't you, Switch. Shall we have a battle then? Let villagers decide who the real [Oppai Dragon] team is!”
“Sounds interesting. Okay, I accept the challenge. We will show you the real [Oppai Dragon]! Ise, everyone, let’s win this!”
Sparks were flying out between Buchou and Bikou’s eyes.
….my goodness, this is getting out of control.
In the end, the Gremory team and Vali team are battling to see who’s the true [Oppai Dragon]….
“Nyhahahaha, it sounds fun, don’t you think~? Shirone.”
While Kuroka seems like she is having fun, Koneko looks like she is displeased and pouts.
When I was sighing, beside me, Vali was saying “Don’t cry, Albion. This is another form of entertainment. What? You want to go back to your homeland? Calm down first, I don’t even know the homeland of the white dragon,” and was calming him down.
“You guys sure do have too much time on your hands.”
I told Vali while sighing.
“We do need a change of pace sometimes. I only care about that dragon though…bread and cookies from this village are also good. Just eating that is worth the effort.”
Team moral eh. Also, he eats things like cookies, I can’t imagine it.
[….I am meeting with the white dragon, but instead of fighting, we are doing these kinds of things… it’s too much….]
My partner sighed heavily.
An improvised stage was built at the place where crowds were gathered. On the stage, there was a banner with [Oppai Dragon Fight!] written in the Devil’s Alphabet.
The villagers who have gathered had their eyes full of excitement.
[Ah~ Ladies and Gentleman! Let’s start the 1st [Which is the real Oppai Dragon?] competition!]
The people cheered the announcer.
….Fake Switch Princess Bikou told everyone in the village about our agreement. And the villagers gave an instant okay and built this improvised stage with everyone’s help.
Maybe because there’s not much else to do around here, it seems like they get behind anything that looks fun. They sure know how to have fun…
[Judges will be the Village chief, Rossweisse-san, Asia Argento-san, Xenovia-san, and we have a special guest, Irina-san who came from Heaven!]
“Hello to you all. This is the Village Chief speaking. Thanks for having me today.”
After being introduced by the announcer, the Chief opened his mouth. He was a dandy-looking middle-aged man with a long beard.
“Hello, everyone. I’m a Valkyrie, Rossweisse. As a judge I will be fair to everyone today.”
“I-I am Asia! I think this place is very beautiful! I want to live here one day!”
“I’m Xenovia. Take care of me as well today.”
“I’m Shidou Irina~! I’m an angel~! Devil people! Let’s have fun today!”
Some people from the ORC were sitting at the judges' panel….. Oi, you guys seem like you're having fun.
Just think about how I feel, being dragged into this competition; I don’t know what’s happening right now! I shouted in my head behind the curtains while waiting with my armour on.
“….I will never lose to that monkey ever…!”
Buchou was muttering next to me, she was flaming up. H-Her eyes are scary! It’s really scary, Buchou!
We have decided to have a 1v1 battle against the five of us. From our side, I, buchou, [Dark Knight Fang] Kiba, [Hellcat] Koneko and Gasper are going to compete. Gasper was praised by people as [Cardboard box Vampire] after appearing in a movie. From their team, Vali, Bikou, Kuroka and Arthur are going to compete….. Who is the fifth person? We don’t know who that is yet.
[Now, let the show begin!]
… The announcer has declared the start of the competition! Akeno-san was wearing a bunny girl suit and acted as a round girl! Fishnet thighs, they are the best!
Anyway, competition has started!
Darkness knight Fang Battle.
Wearing the antagonist’s costume, Kiba and Arthur had numbered badges on their chests. Since we have to determine who is real and fake, we didn’t tell them their real names and decided the winner using this.
“”Kyaa~! Both of them are so handsome~!””
Seeing two handsome guys on the stage, all the village girls went wild…. Damn it, handsome guys are so popular with girls wherever they go, so jealous!
[We have distributed plaques only to female members of the audience! On each side of the plaque, they have 1 and 2 written on them! Now, you two have to say and act cool like the character. And with that, the panel of judges and female members of the audience will use their plaque to decide who is real and who is fake!]
Popularity contest! Kiba, you can win this!
Grabbing the mic, Kiba took a deep breath, flung his cape and said
[Sekiryuutei, I congratulate you for reaching me. Let’s have our final battle tonight. Now, let’s begin our fight to the end.]
Woah, its Darkness knight Fang’s quote from Oppai Dragon!
“”KYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAA!! SO HANDSOOOOOOOOME!””
Girls' shrills were echoing! Some of them even fainted! You like it that much! It’s just a quote from the show!
This time, Arthur grabbed the mic and turned his eyes toward me. What? Me?
[Oppai Dragon…. I have always wanted to fight you. I’m curious how well one of Two Heavenly Dragons will endure my Holy Royal Sword. If possible, I would like to rip your strong will…. And your strong heart into pieces.]
…feeling his cold gaze, my entire body shivered. He was emitting killing intent…! He was being deadly serious just now!
“”KYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAA!! RIP ME INTO PEECES TOOOOOOOOOO!””
Female audience members were so excited that their eyes turned into hearts.
After that, those two continued to make cool poses and say cool lines, exciting the audience even further.
“I’m not interested in handsome guys.”
The Chief’s comments were short and to the point! You are a good person! I’m rooting for you!
“Kiba has better image overall but….”
“If we consider image as Darkness knight, Arthur-san isn’t that bad either.”
Xenovia and Rossweisse-san were not giving us any advantage and judged them very seriously!
In the end…. Draw! The votes were split between handsome guy Kiba and dangerous-looking Arthur.
Next up was Hellcat Battle.
On the stage, Koneko and Kuroka stood! Both of them were wearing cute Hellcat costumes but… their bodies were so different from each other!
Loli body Koneko and ginormous oppai body Kuroka! Kuroka was swinging her hips and her tail while pressing on her breasts!
Male audience members were enchanted by Kuroka’s erotic body! I’m also enjoying this a lot!
[Now it’s a battle between Hellcats! We have given plaques to male audience members only this time! Will it be loli-loli Hellcan-chan, or will it be ero-ero sexy Hellcat-sama! Let the match begin!]
Kuroka took the mic first.
She started to seductively stroke her body. Starting with her thigh then moving up to her bottom, hip, breasts, then she placed her hands on her lips.
She licked her lips seductively.
[Do you wanna do Hellcat stuff with onee-sama nyan ? ~J]
…Ku! After hearing something that causes shockwaves inside a guy’s head, everyone including me had a massive nosebleed!
“””YES! OF COURSE!”””
I shouted with rest of the audience! Shit! That Kuroka. So erotic! Are you really Koneko’s sister?! Is Koneko going to be like you in the future! I don’t know if I should be happy or a bit worried! But at the same time I think it might be really good!
Seeing Kuroka’s amazing performance Koneko was… her shoulders were trembling and made a sad expression. Her cat ears were also down. It seems like sexy Hellcat was too big of a shock.
After receiving the mic, Koneko said in a small voice.
[…I’m the real Hellcat but… I’m short and have no breasts so there’s nothing appealing nyan… sob…]
…Hu! Right then, electricity shot through my body! After watching cute Koneko, my chest tightened!
“”C-C-Cute…! Loli girls are also greeeaaaaat!””
It seems like male audience members were having the same thought as me. They were excited and had another massive nosebleed!
“Ero-ero onee-sama and loli-loli girl’s battle! I’m glad I was born in the underworld!”
The Chief shouted, looking at the sky! This guy, he knows what he’s talking about! I like this guy!
The result was Koneko’s comeback win! At first she was trailing Kuroka but at the end, [Cuteness Is Justice!] has won.
“Not bad, Shirone ~”
Instead of being angry, Kuroka smiled and walked off the stage.
It looks like her feelings were complicated but thanks to her win, she seemed to have gained confidence.
[Cardboard box Vampire] Battle.
We have now reached the halfway point of the competition.
Next up was [Cardboard Box Vampire] Gasper’s battle.
On the stage was Gasper in his normal clothes.
“Heeeeeeek! I get so nervous on stageeeee!”
Against trembling Gasper on stage was…. A cardboard box!
…..eh? Cardboard box? I looked closely at the box on stage. It looks like a normal box…. Is there anyone inside the box? It doesn’t looks like it.
I was a bit confused about this. And then, I heard the announcer’s voice.
[Right then who is the real [Cardboard Box Vampire]! Please vote on what you think is real!]
W-W-W-W-What?! They’ve already started?! Actually, is Gasper’s opponent… a plain old cardboard box?!
Bikou, as fake Switch Princess, said
“That’s right, we prepared a plain old cardboard box!”
You idiots! Saying our opponent is a plane cardboard box! Our legit cross-dressing vampire is facing off against a plain old cardboard box! The match has already been decided!
“Since his name has cardboard box in it, won’t that box be the real one?”
“That makes sense! The other one is just a normal devil! He’s cute and all but if we are looking for Cardboard Box Vampire, we should choose the cardboard box!”
Audience members started to talk like that! No way, really?! That’s a normal plane cardboard box! Is lack of information affecting this match as well?!
[Now let’s hear it from our judges!]
As the announcer looked at the panel, Xenovia opened her mouth.
“…Hm, if we focus on the Cardboard box part, that cardboard box there might be the real Cardboard Box Vampire.”
Even you are saying that! That’s just a box!
“I also think that the box over there is more like the real one than Gasper-kun!”
Irina too! Are you two both idiots?!
“That’s true. For me, instead of Gasper-kun himself I’ve seen Gasper-kun inside his box more. If we look at it that way Gasper-kun is the cardboard box itself….?”
Even Rossweisse-san is starting to be confused! That’s weird! Treating your precious comrades as a cardboard box, that’s just weird!
….W-Wait a minute, A-Ara…? Am I imagining things? I think that box is more like Gasper too….?
There are some truths to what Rossweisse-san is saying. I also think I’ve seen him inside his box more…if we think of it that way then that box over there is…. more like Gasper….?
Everyone here shifted their attention toward the cardboard box.
[…..um?!um?! W-Where are you guys looking?!I-I am right here…why is everyone looking at a box…?]
Holding onto his mic, the Gasper-looking guy was talking but no one was listening to him… everyone was looking at the cardboard box… no, Gasper Vladi and nodded their heads.
The result was…
[This cardboard box is the real [Cardboard Box Vampire] sama!]
When the announcer said that, everyone clapped their hands like they all agreed with the decision.
Original Gasper Vladi started to cry and went inside his own box.
Ah, that’s more like the [Cardboard box Vampire] Gasper I know!
That day, Gasper’s identity was ripped off by a normal plain cardboard box.
[Switch Princess] Battle
Final battle! Anticipated battle between Switch Princesses!
Two crimson-haired bishoujos in a dress stood on the stage! The real Buchou was wearing a pair of gloves with the Gremory mark on her left one.
[Switch Princess battle! Who is our real Princess Rias?!]
When the announcer was introducing them, Bikou grabbed the mic midway and walked toward the audience!
[I will show Switch Princess’s power right here, right now!]
He then proceeded to push his breasts forward and clicked his fingers! Soon after…. His breasts started to shine!
Woah, that’s Buchou’s Second Phase! Yes, buchou’s breasts glow with a red aura! 
I don’t know how they got that information but it seems like Bikou was using either senjutsu or magic to mimic the phenomenon! Audience members started to get excited and rowdy.
“I won’t lose to that! Ise!”
Buchou suddenly called me. W-What’s going on…? I hurriedly went over to Buchou.
“Touch my breasts!”
“Yes?! A-Are you sure?!”
She told me to touch her breasts out of nowhere! Well, if you give me permission I will gladly do so!
Buchou said in determined voice.
“If I want to win against that monkey I will have to show them a real miracle! If it’s you, you can do it!”
Buchou believed in me so much! But even so, is that really okay?! There are so many people here! Well, worrying about such a thing is a bit late at this point!
There are moments when Buchou reciprocates my love for breasts so well that even I’m perplexed at times! But if I am ordered by Buchou to do so, it’s my duty to fulfill her order! Thanks for the chance!
I took my twitching fingers toward Buchou’s enormous breasts and commenced an attack on them!
I can feel this soft and elastic sensation covering my hands!
Buchou gave out erotic sigh. At that moment….
My armour emitted red aura from all over the place! Ah, I can feel my power rising! This is the best! Buchou’s breasts are breasts that can bring my hidden power!
Buchou’s breasts were shining more radiantly than Bikou’s breasts! It was bright enough to illuminate the whole stage!
[….Uuu. this again….!]
Ddraig said this like he gave up. I’m sorry, partner! I know this may sound bad, but try to get used to this kind of situation, please!
“That’s a very radiant light. Ah, breasts are shining….! They are full of emotions! They are joyful! This must be miracle that Sekiryuutei and Switch Princess bring…..!”
The Chief was wailing! It seems like his heart was touched by something!
We heard a pained cry from the audience direction.
Getting hit by the light, one audience member cried in agony and started to change his appearance! His body grew in size and wings came out from his back, his arm and legs grew bigger and he even had a tail on his back!
A loud howl echoed around the stage. From the audience, a large dark dragon appeared. Oh, he sure is energetic, he seems strong! So light coming out of Buchou’s breasts has the ability to look through a dragon’s disguise, it seems.
“””Ahhhhh! It’s a dragon!”””
Seeing a dragon suddenly appearing, the audience fled the scene quickly! The only ones left were us, Vali team, the chief and the announcer. The dark dragon flared at us and spoke.
[You blasted devils! How did you look through my disguise…. Does that bitch’s breasts have some kind of ability to defeat evil?!]
The Dragon, who’s been outed after being shone with light, said in a voice full of hatred. Buchou’s breasts are full of mysterious powers! Seeing that, Albion shouted.
[Ddraig! What was that power just now?! Does your power have an effect on those around you?!]
[My partner is using his power in the weirdest way possible. I-It could be that aftereffect.]
[What?! …. D-Don’t come near me! Stay away! I might catch that oppai power!]
[What?! Sob sob! Even my arch-foe is criticizing meeeee!]
Ddraig started to cry heavily! I’m sorry! Even Buchou’s face turned red as a carrot!
Right then, Vali stood next to me.
“At least we didn’t have to go out and find him. You are the one targeting this village, right? …. Just a normal Evil Dragon.”
Vali said in a bored tone.
Ah, this guy is the boss of all those monsters. Sensing his powers, it’s not even remotely as powerful as the Dragon Kings.
Dark Dragon glared at us.
[…That’s right. After taking over this village, I’m going to use it as a footstool for my ambition. I can’t let you weaklings get in my way!]
Hearing that, I and Vali looked at each other.
….That dragon. Does he not know of the Heavenly Dragons? He won’t be able to say those kinds of things in front of the Heavenly Dragons if he knows about us.
[He’s a young dragon. Looks like from some Evil Dragon clan. Seems like he hasn’t met anyone with real power.]
Ddraig murmured in a dumbfounded tone. Is he one of those bullies back in his home?
[I don’t like you guys' faces! Me and my servants will teach you what it is to be a true dragon!]
From his shadows many monsters came out but… they all seemed to be not too threatening. Bikou shouted
“Really annoying! Oi, Switch Princess! Let’s have a competition about who can get rid of them the quickest!”
Bikou kept agitating Buchou. Coming back dressed in her school uniform, Buchou made a confident smile.
“Sounds interesting! Okay then! Now my adorable servants! Let’s blast these mobs from the Land of House Gremory!”
Oh, looks like fun!
“You guys gonna defeat them using oppai torch?!”
“Shut up, you stupid monkey! Shall I blast you away with them?!”
They are fighting again!
“Ufufufu, I was about to get bored, this is perfect. Shall we test how well they can handle my Holy Lightning?”
“Sounds more fun than being a judge.”
Akeno-san and Xenovia look like they are having fun too.
“You guys, the village might get destroyed so go easy on them. Let’s try to cause minimum damage to the village and destroy them all.”
Hearing Vali’s order, his team members made scary expressions! Woah~ they are scary!
Now, I should join them too! If it was me from before, I wouldn't have a chance against that dragon, but with the current me, I think I can handle it without breaking a sweat.
Like that, we and the Vali team charged at the dragon.
A few days later…
“Zoom Zoom Iyaaan!”
“”“Zoom Zoom Iyaaan!”””
We are watching the [Oppai Dragon] tokusatsu show at the countryside village from backstage. Actors and actresses dressed as us were running the show, it seems like village kids are enjoying the show as well.
After defeating the dragon easily, to ensure that this village does not get attacked by other monsters, we decided to put some guards to guard the village here. We also decided to set up a TV tower so the number of channels people can watch here increased.
Fake [Oppai Dragon] Vali team, like always, hid themselves quickly. They sure have too much time on their hands. But even if for a bit, they did protect this village from harm.
And I…was holding a present from Kuroka, as an apology for mimicking us…! Looks like she asked someone to give this to me, as a villager came up to me and handed me my present.
Inside were many pictures of Kuroka in erotic poses….! T-This is awesome! Totally erotic! She’s making all sorts of poses in the photo! Looks like I’ll be very busy tonight! Uhehehehe, I can’t wait! When I was drooling over the photo someone tugged my clothes…Koneko! Taking the pictures away from me, she glared.
“K-Koneko! T-This is….”
Even before I made any excuses, Koneko’s sharp punch hit my stomach!
BANG! Getting hit by the punch, my body was filled with pain.
Koneko shredded the photos and walked away. After a few steps, she stopped and said.
“….One day, I will get bigger too….”
Saying that, she walked away from me.
…Get bigger? What is she talking about? B-Beside that my precious ero photos… I cried in sorrow.
MY ERO PHOTOOOOOOOOOOOS!
Translator's Notes and References
- it makes sense in Korean. Dogs and monkeys have bad relationships and the Princess-Monkey relationship part is a parody of that.
- (Translator Note: happened in the fight between Ise and the hero faction in Vol.09)
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