Hyouka:Blu-ray Bonus CD Track 13
Impossible Intermission #13: Feigning a Quiz Tournament
Here's a link to the track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7k5HCEHU2Y
Fukube Satoshi: (Running) This is bad, Houtarou!
Oreki Houtarou: What's the matter, Satoshi?
Satoshi: It was just announced just now that this year's Quiz Trial will actually become a rock-paper-scissors tournament!
Oreki: Ohh? I see.
Satoshi: Eh? Why are you so unconcerned? Anything else to say?
Oreki: Good luck with the rock-paper-scissors.
Satoshi: That's so half-hearted! I spent so much time, including my sleeping hours, studying trends and preparing strategies for the quiz tournament!
(A strange sound)
Oreki: Huh?
Satoshi: It seems like...... the wall's undulating.
Chitanda: Ahh! Wah! Fresh air!
Satoshi: Ah! Chitanda-san?! Why did you come from the wall......
Oreki: What are you doing?
Chitanda: When I was exploring the cultural festival, I found a Ninja Club, and I learnt the Art of Concealment. I was praised to be quite skillful at it.
Oreki: There shouldn't be such a club!
Chitanda: Anyway, Fukube-san......
Satoshi: W-What?
Chitanda: I heard your conversation while I was inside the wall. There is a foolproof way of winning rock-paper-scissors.
Satoshi: Eh? Really?
Chitanda: Yes. As long as you hold the Chitanda clan's surefire strategy, you will not fail. I will now initiate you into this art, so just leave it to me!
Oreki: Leave it to you, huh.
Satoshi: I'm in your hands, Chitanda-sensei.
Oreki: Sensei?
Chitanda: Alright. First, close your eyes and relax your shoulders. Open your feet such that the distance between them is the distance between your shoulders.
Oreki: She started right away.
Chitanda: Then, take one good, deep breath. (Takes a deep breath)
Satoshi: (Takes a deep breath)
Chitanda: Cast your feelings away. Empty your mind of the thought of wanting to win. This is very important.
Satoshi: I see. How deep.
Chitanda: By the way, this is just the preparation.
Oreki: Just how many steps are there?!
Chitanda: And now, focus your energy! Open your eyes with force, like an eagle who has just spotted prey.
Satoshi: Ka![1]
Oreki: Just saying it out doesn't do anything. And don't look at me!
Chitanda: Then, stare at your adversary like a snake eyeing its prey, fixedly. Ji......[2]
Satoshi: Ji......
Oreki: I'm not your adversary.
Chitanda: Now, you chant the spell.
Satoshi: Spell?
Chitanda: Repeat after me. O Great God of Agriculture......
Satoshi: O Great God of Agriculture......
(Some sound effect plays)
Oreki: Oh?! What's this sound effect?!
Chitanda: Bestow upon me the power of nature!
Satoshi: Bestow upon me the power of nature!
Oreki: Oi! Why are you praying to the God of Agriculture just to win a game of rock-paper-scissors?!
Chitanda: Keep quiet, or we might get distracted.
Oreki: Okay.
Chitanda: Fukube-san. It is now in your head, right? Which of rock, paper or scissors to throw to beat Oreki-san?
Satoshi: You're right. I know what Houtarou will throw.
Oreki: In the end, I have no choice but to play rock-paper-scissors?
Chitanda: Then, let us begin. Rock, paper, scissors! Ah! What is this?
Satoshi: This is impossible!
Oreki: Hey! We have to spell it out, or others won't understand!
Chitanda: Oh! You're right! It is a pity that we are unable to show this on video.
Oreki: Is it really?
Satoshi: This is...... what do you call it...... a perfect tie.
Oreki: I threw stone.
Chitanda: I threw scissors.
Satoshi: And I went with paper.
Oreki: Did you really know that I was going to throw stone, Satoshi?
Satoshi: Yeah.
Chitanda: I looked into Fukube-san's eyes, so I chose scissors.
Satoshi: So I won Houtarou, and Chitanda won me.
Oreki: This Chitanda-style rock-paper-scissors surefire method, or whatever it's called...... isn't it meaningless unless it's one-on-one?
Chitanda: That's right. It's used for one-on-one matches.
Satoshi: Hm! Seems like it was effective!
Oreki: That was a pretty random statement......
Chitanda: This is perfect, isn't it, Fukube-san? With this, there is no doubt that you will be victorious!
Satoshi: Now I feel like I can win anyone in the world in a game of rock-paper-scissors. Thank you, Chitanda-san.
Oreki: In the end...... what are the roots of this surefire strategy?
Translator's Notes and References
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