Kämpfer:Volume 1 Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Espionage

Even though I wasn't expecting it, this day was as fine and sunny a day as the previous one. I got up unusually early and high-tailed it to school. Of course I was back to being a man. I was the first to arrive at the classroom and I waited for the person of interest. Higashida came in humming and singing out of tune.

"Hey, I have a request" I said as I grabbed his uniform.

"Whoa, that's abrupt." Higashida was surprised, but I didn't care.

"So, how can someone get into the girl's section?"

"That's an odd question out of the blue."

"Are the snow gates still used for illegal activities..."

"You mean the Co-ed Underground Dating Committee?"

Although it has a name, that 'underground' club is only known by insiders of illegal activities at school. Iron Star Academy has strict 'no-contact' policies between male and female students. Meeting outside of school is possible, but not easy to accomplish on school grounds. There are still students who want to evade Iron Star Academy's eyes and engage in sensual pleasures with the opposite sex. These students succeed thanks to efforts of the 'Co-ed Underground Dating Committee.'

That club had been organized immediately after the academy had become co-educational. The first student council president is thought to be the founder of the club. A method of communications between the boy's and girl's sections was devised and has been secret ever since. Funds derived from cultural festival proceeds were passed as bribes to school officials.

Higashida had connections to the 'Co-ed Underground Dating Committee' through his being chairman of Iron Star's 'Beauty Research Club' , another illegal club.

"So, Senou, what business do you have there?"

"I want info on the Student Council President."

"Eh!?" Higashida was amazed. "Oi, Sangou-san is hard to contact. She's very popular."

According to him, there were many boy students aiming for Shizuku. There was an unofficial waiting list to worship her; don't laugh, it's not that unusual. I have a similar target.

"Forget contacting her! I want info on her, what she's been up to lately."

"That's private info. Even with manpower and money it would be hard to get."

"That's why I want to sneak into the girl's section."

"Idiot, if anyone found out, you'd be suspended from school."

"That's why I want to connect with the Co-ed Underground Dating Committee."

"How soon?"

"Now."

Higashida groaned "...that's impossible."

"Yeah, probably."

"Even if you contact the Co-ed Underground Dating Committee and get in the girl's section, how will you get details on Sangou-san?"

"...espionage."

"To try and do it today is useless, impossible for anyone."

"If anyone can, it would be Higashida, and his talents."

"My talents!? Communication with the committee has to start from the girls side, and that would have to wait 'till schools out. 'Impossible' really is impossible."

This was an uphill battle. Illegal activities were not only frowned on by the school officials, but by the student council as well. Every club organization was under total surveillance, any offense would deal heavy damage to the club. Even so, I was desperate.

"If you help me I'll introduce you to a beautiful girl. You can interview her and take pictures, she's worthy to be added to your Beauty Research Club."

As expected, he took the bait, his eyes lit up instantly.

"It's true? But how would you know her?"

"Hey, think about Sakura-san. How many times have I met with her lately?"

Higashida was pondering, "first, tell the beautiful girl that I..."

"Follow me. She's in the library right now waiting. Come on."

"Good plan..." Higashida and I hurried to the library. There was still time before class, it was the reason I went to school so early. The library was vacant and silent, students rarely went there that early.

"Where are the librarians?" Higashida was puzzled.

"They're busy."

"Nobody's here?"

"Because we knew you were coming" with my fingers I pointed out to Higashida. "In the shadows over there. Got your camera?"

"Right here," he showed me a thin digital camera.

"Photographs are free. If you can get a shot, take it."

"Huh?"

Suddenly a gun was thrust into Higashida's camera.

"Yo, ay'm askin' ya a little favor, nothin' hard for ya. Listen good Higashida." Akane said with a grin. A pocky in her mouth.

---

Through the Rabbit Hole

Higashida suddenly became cooperative. Having an unknown woman shoving a gun in your face can be very convincing.

First was the information on Shizuku. I told Higashida to just 'tell me what you know.' According to him the student council used a room in a secluded area of the school, Shizuku prevented outsiders from getting close to the place. Although it was only a rumor, it would be a great place to keep someone in confinement.

This was just the dirt that Akane and I were looking for. There was a good possibility that Sakura-san was being kept there. It was close enough to keep an eye on her, but hard for us to reach. When I asked Higashida why he didn't mention the room earlier he said he was "holding out for an offer of cash." Asshole.

The problem was how to break into the women's section. Higashida was helpful in that area as well, "I've got a tunnel."

Akane had to pretend to pull the trigger of her gun a few times to finally get him to talk (it wouldn't have been pretend if I didn't stop her though).

"Where?"

"Behind the gym. The other end comes out beneath the women's chemistry lab window."

"Since when?"

"It was just finished two months ago, the soil was very hard."

According to Higashida most of the soil was removed during vacation and discarded down the toilets.

"Just like the movie 'The Great Escape.' "

"Yeah, just like that. Our only light was from candles. We had a cave-in and the guy in there at the time still has neurosis."

I also had a terrible desire to sneak into the women's section, until I was stuck there.

In an amazingly harsh voice Akane said, "enough funny talk! Tell me how to use it."

"Don't shoot, don't shoot - the watering faucet behind the gym, pull it completely out to open the tunnel."

"Show me."

"First, get in touch with the contact on the women's side to remove the lid on that end."

"Yer gonna do that too." A gun is a great persuasion tool, Higashida's reactions were faster than an exposed cockroach.

The first step was to contact the girl's side. Iron Star Academy jammed cellular signals to prevent communication between the boy's and girl's school sections. The jammer even prevented calls during emergency situations, but that was just 'the price that must be paid.'

Would you believe Higashida attached a message to an arrow and shot it over the wall? What is this the Sengoku period?

"Please use caution..."

We plan to, as much as possible. I signaled Akane and we left the library. Transformed like she was, she was a bit uncouth and stood out in the library.

"Hey Natsuru, I helped you, how about paying me back..."

"I'm not giving you money."

"No, not that..." Higashida glanced to the side. "I just... let me take a picture of this violent girl."

"You want her picture?"

"She's... beautiful." His breath was ragged as he spoke.

Akane was sounding irritated, saying things like "I'll kill you, but not before I shoot off your hands and feet." Somehow while she was saying that, she was posing like a photo model; Higashida was very happy.

I left the dreamy guy taking pictures of Akane and headed to the back of the gymnasium and waited until Akane was done. As Higashida had said, pulling the faucet opened the concrete slab and exposed a gaping vertical hole. All we had to do was follow the water pipe through the tunnel to the girl's side.

After a short time a short message came back, 'ready.'

"You can go when you're ready. She'll guide you on the other side."

"Ya did good - fer now."

The tunnel was so small I had to crawl through. Every surface was damp with moisture. The route was well worn, boy's desires can be horrible. By the time I climbed the vertical hole exiting the tunnel the representative for the girl's side of the committee was waiting for me. She was waving both arms and smiling.

"Welcome! I am Nishino Masumi, the committee representative for the girl's side."

Figures it would have to be Masumi. I couldn't think of anyone worse.

---

"Thank you. A blushing newbie, straight from the boy's side."

That was just the irritation I was feeling.

"Such a shy, modest guy, what are you doing sneaking into the girl's section?"

Any way you look at it, she was being overly meddlesome. Just then Akane came running up from behind her, obviously surprised to see Masumi.

"Ah, so this must be your girlfriend."

Ha, if she wasn't in vicious dog mode, you'd know her very well.

Akane glanced at Masumi then whispered to me, ("what's da story of 'er being here?")

("She's the girl's side representative.")

("Ya gotta be kiddin' me.")

("It was worse when I was the one transformed.")

The previous time Akane had been 'normal' . This was the reverse pattern. Masumi was beckoning us.

"To start our tour, this is the secret garden of girls, forbidden to boys. It's rather empty now. Don't expect the tour to include girls changing their clothes."

Why bother mentioning that?

"The tour begins here. Follow me." Masumi urged us.

The girl's side was larger than the boy's. It was very well kept. Compared to this the boy's side seemed cluttered. On this side there were flowers, grass and even a fountain, it was a world away. The differences were well known and several attempts to 'rejuvenate the boy's side' were all crushed before they could gain momentum.

I could hear that the boy's gym class had begun. Come to think of it, that's where I would be. My absence would be noted. The teacher, Nakazawa, was always annoying me. I was absent as often as possible, just like a lot of my classmates.

"Could you hurry a bit more?" I asked Masumi. I wanted to find Sakura-san while the president was likely to be in class. It would be bad to be found during break time.

"Certainly! You really do sound alike."

"What?"

"There's a second-year girl who has a similar voice, I'm sure you must have seen her."

Yeah, I have, in the mirror.

Behind the main girl's school buildings stood the Audiovisual and Music building, home of the specialty schools. According to the information Higashida provided, the Student Council had a makeshift office in a corner of the third floor there. Since it was the middle of the day we had to feel our way into that unknown area carefully.

As we slipped into the building I asked "is there a room here that is used by the Student Council?"

Masumi gave a baffled look "what business would you have there?"

Even if I told her, she'd never believe that Sakura-san was kidnapped, that the president was the culprit, and I was a fighting Kämpfer.

Masumi's eyes were full of curiosity "please, please tell me!"

As I was puzzling about it Akane said "Ay'll tell ya..."

"Cool!"

"Over 'dere" Akane pointed behind Masumi.

"Eh!?" Masumi turned to look.

GON! Akane smacked the back of Masumi's head with the handle grip of her pistol. As Masumi crumbled she made a 'kyuu' sound.

"Hey, why'd you do that?"

"Ay used legitimate self-defense."

It was a funny usage of the term. No matter, the nuisance was gone. We made our way up to the third floor, trying to keep our footsteps quiet, we were being cautious. The room used by the Student Council was at the far end of the hallway. The floor was empty since it wasn't club hours.

My body glowed white as Akane forced me to transform to a Kämpfer. I was in a hurry, but Akane held me back.

"Easy! don't expose yer'self to the windows."

The corridor here had windows facing the main school buildings. It was likely a main reason this room was used by the Student Council. It gave Shizuku an advantage.

"Follow me" Akane bent over, leaned against the wall below the windows and carefully made her way to the other end of the hall. She was graceful and stealthy like a cat. I would have expected that her fierce dog persona would just rush across.

"Come on stinky!"

I hurried to follow what she had done.

When I reached the door I stretched out to touch the doorknob. I turned it slowly, "ah, it's not locked!"

"Open it quick."

Without another word I flung the door open and jumped inside like Tom Cruise in 'Mission Impossible.'

"Sakura-san... huh?" the room was empty, no chair, no desk. Only a mop and bucket. Of course there wasn't any sign of Sakura-san.

Akane and I both stood with our mouths wide open.

"Nobody's 'ere" Akane spat out.

"That bastard Higashida, what kind of bull did he give us?"

"---'dat jerk--- Bet he just said anything ta get those pictures!"

"He just follows what he sees."

"Jerk just fell in love with 'da idea of gettin' pictures of me. Must be true."

"You looked like you were playfully posing for him though."

That guy has no thought for a perfect girl, just the ones he hasn't photographed yet. Anyway, it was a fact, Sakura-san wasn't there. I wondered where she was taken.

Suddenly there was a sound from behind us "excuse me..."

A female student was in the doorway looking at us. "You should be in class, what are you doing?"

"Yer just in time ta help us." Akane walked with determination towards the girl. "Hey, 'da Student Council has a spare room 'round here. We're lookin' for a girl that should be there. How do we get there?"

"Huh...?"

"Tell me!" When Akane was transformed she was beautiful, but her demeanor and aura was formidable. People seeing her for the first time were always overwhelmed.

I tore into Akane, "stop it, you're scaring her!"

"Then she better spill it quickly!"

"Oh... that... the Student Council is helping her..." huh?

Akane and I just stared, mouths open, in front of the scared schoolgirl.

"They don't use this room... they took over the fourth floor..."

We didn't wait to hear any more, but took off running. There was no longer any reason to hide, school was between classes. We ran up the stairs. The layout was the same as the third floor. We ran to the room at the end of the hall.

"Oh, this door is locked."

"Get out a 'da way!" A pistol appeared in Akane's hand.

She didn't hold back and shot both the keyhole and hinges. The door opened on its own. The interior of the room was dim because the curtains had been drawn. This room was clean and empty except a desk and chair.

Sakura-san was seated in the middle of the room with her head hung down. Most likely unconscious.

"Sakura-san!" I ran over to her. Her hands had been tied with ropes. I'm here Sakura-san, your knight to the rescue. Please return my love, towards the man version of me.

But just at that moment a dirk on a chain violently flew towards me.

"My goodness. What bad behavior for a Kämpfer!" As I turned Shizuku was standing there.

---

I flinched involuntarily. The duel isn't until tomorrow, so why is Shizuku here? And classes are in session right now. She remained expressionless.

"It would damage my reputation to skip class, so as far as anyone knows right now I'm in the infirmary due to an illness. And that female student downstairs? She's a member of the student council."

So that's how she was informed.

"But you know...."

The student council president frowned.

"The duel isn't until tomorrow. Coming a day early? I can't condone that."

"Don't talk nonsense. We just have to win."

Akane spoke back angrily. I agreed with her.

"Well what I can't condone is taking hostages. My partner is devoted to Kaede. You're going to give her back."

"Ah yes, Kaede talked about you, Natsuru-san. She seems to like your female form."

So she DID like the female me more. That made me about one tenth as happy as it should. Shizuku's fingers moved and the dirk dislodged from the ground and returned to her hand. The action was a blend of a magician’s sleight of hand and a snake charmer’s graceful fluidity.

"Go home. The fight is tomorrow. I'll let you go this time."

She certainly seemed full of herself. She must really be confident that she'd win. I considered turning around and leaving as she suggested, but the girl/ferocious dog next to me would have none of it.

"I won't have my enemy looking down on me."

"Oh? You want to do it here?"

"You bet!"

Akane pointed her pistol at Shizuku. She raised the gun and pulled the trigger in one motion. A bullet leapt from the end of the gun with a roar heading straight towards the student council president where she stood by the door. An instant before the bullet made impact Shizuku disappeared.

"Over here."

A chain twisted like a snake and a sharp blade flew toward myself and Akane.

"Uwawawawawa!"

I was screaming. The blade sliced through part of my clothes. Somehow Shizuku got behind us and was standing atop a desk. She looked shockingly beautiful as she deftly controlled her blade.

"Don't just stand there looking at her! We're running!"

"Weren't we going to fight?!"

"Not here!"

Akane kicked me and sent me flying. I rolled out of the room with blades narrowly missing me repeatedly. Then I realized.

"We forgot Sakura-san!"

"Forget about that tasteless woman! This is what she gets for collecting entrail animals!"

I couldn't forgive her for speaking ill of Sakura-san, but it was hard to argue with her statement about Sakura's taste. Maybe if I just say that she's a rare item collector? I guess now isn't the time to be thinking about this. I have to save her!

"Let's retreat!"

"Save it for later, we need to defeat Shizuku first!"

For being a reckless, wild dog of a woman she was oddly calm about it. She kept looking back behind us.

"Is she chasing us?!"

"She's n-...."

A blade and chain flashed before my eyes to say hello.

"She is!"

From the fourth floor to the third, then to the second. Akane suddenly stopped and I ran straight into her back.

"Owww!! Look where you're going!"

"It's your fault for stopping!"

"It's blocked! We need to go into a classroom!"

The stairs leading down were blocked by an emergency fire door. We would have to find a way around now. We ran down the third floor corridor once more, this time leaping into a classroom. It was an A/V room with heavy curtains over the windows to block the light. It was pitch black inside.

"Whoa, I can't see anything," the dog woman muttered. I was no better. My eyes weren't used to the darkness.

"Let's go outside. We can't fight here."

Akane nodded. We peeked out into the hall and looked both directions. Good. No sign of Shizuku.

The moment we both stepped out of the classroom we heard the sound of concrete breaking. Blades were stabbing into walls and floors all over the hallway. We followed the attached chains back to their source: the student council president Shizuku.

"She's caught us!"

"Because you're so slow, Natsuru!"

So it's my fault?! We dropped to the floor. Shizuku was throwing her blades so fast it seemed as if she had dozens. We stayed on the floor and backed away. "Hurry and get up! This isn't the imperial hotel!"

Her jeer made me leap to my feet. There was so much dust floating in the air. Most of the dust came from broken concrete, but we'd be screwed if some of this dust was asbestos. Hm, Black Seppuku Rabbit said something like that earlier.

"Stop worrying about stupid crap and go hide! She's not done yet!"

Since I didn't have any choice I crawled to one of the few places I could hide in the hallway. It seemed like a cubbyhole that held a fire extinguisher at some point, but now all that remained was the clasp that had held it. A short ways behind me Akane was shouting and firing her gun repeatedly. The bullets hitting the walls only added to the dust in the air.

"Natsuru! Don't hide there, I can't see that damned woman!"

Akane was yelling again. She has such a husky voice and, more importantly, she's so loud! Even though we were separated by a number of feet it sounded as if she was shouting directly into my ear.

"I'm staying out of the line of fire!! Do you want to put a hole in my back?!"

"Oh stop your whining!"

I couldn't help but argue with her.

"You're the one who told me to hide!! You have a ranged weapon so just shoot into the dust cloud!!"

"You're in the line of fire so I can't!!"

"Then come here!"

"If I do that she'll get me!"

"So it's fine if she gets me?! You're the one who let her get away!"

"What the hell did you say?!"

I began to leave my hiding spot and Akane ran over. She didn't aim her gun into the cloud of dust, but instead slid over to me and shoved it against my head. "You want to talk shit?! How about I cut your head off and ship it to Guam!"

As if I would be shaken by that. I already have one girl trying to kill me.

"You talk big for an otaku girl who likes late night little girl anime. Black Seppuku Rabbit told me all about your TV watching obsession."

"Are you really trying to get me to kill you?"

"If it means I can get away from you it sounds great to me!"

"....You bastard!"

Akane pressed the barrel of her gun into my forehead. I could feel it grinding against my skull.

"That's a hell of a way to talk to your partner. Haven't you seen any Ghibli movies? 'We should be kind to our friends,' is the usual message."

"That's rich coming from you. You sound like Horie Yui with a throat cold. How about being kind to me first?"

"I'd go to hell if I was kind to a guy who is crazy over a rotten bitch like Kaede. Enma needs a bribe. You know that?"

"Liar! And don't talk ill of Sakura-san!"

With a swish of air a blade shot between us. I felt a sharp pain in my cheek. I lifted a hand to check and it came away with blood.

"Oh shit."

"Don't sit around, Natsuru!"

Akane was already gone. She was hiding inside of the A/V room just past the half-open door.

"She's fast. If you don't get out of there within 2 seconds your heart is going to stop."

"Say that faster!"

Well sorry! I yelled back and kicked off the wall. I made sure of Akane's position and leapt headfirst toward her.

"Natsuru, did you see Shizuku?"

"No. And I'm only useful for my eyes."

"Then maybe I should pop them out of your head."

Akane began to fire out the door. The sound of gunfire and the impacts of bullets went on for quite some time. She shot as if she didn't care about wasting bullets, but then a Kampfer never runs out of ammunition. Akane stopped shooting and everything went quiet.

"...She's gone," she muttered.

"There's no way. That assassin is definitely still aiming to kill us."

"How about getting off of me first," I said. She had been on top of me while she fired into the hallway. "If she's an assassin then you're a berserker. Firing a gun right over my head... everything about you is loud."

"What? You trying to compare a delicate girl like myself with some American marine gorilla?"

We grumbled insults at each other as our ears adjusted to the quiet. It was as if there was no sound at all. It was so quiet we could have heard a pin drop.

"Where did she go...."

"Playing hide-and-seek no doubt. She's a primary schooler at heart. Natsuru, stick your head out into the hall for a second."

"Why?"

"She might try to cut it off."

"What?! You want me to be bait?! What if I die!!"

"I'll put flowers on your grave and weep for you. Kaede will probably cry too. Won't that be nice?"

"NO!"

A shadow passed by. A soundless form was standing nearby. We didn't wait to confirm who it was before leaping away. The place where we'd been before was penetrated by a blade. If we had been any slower we'd have been sliced through. I thought that I could smell cold steel.

"Natsuru, get back!"

"I know!"

We moved to the center of the A/V room. Looking more closely a class had been conducted in here recently. There were notes scribbled on the blackboard in a lengthy scrawl. I couldn't help but comment.

"Studying during lunch and studying during battle. There's no time to rest."

"Did you think that sounded clever?"

We were back to back in the middle of the room. Akane was swinging left and right with her gun.

"Can't see her again."

"Are we cornered?"

The room only had two entrances. If both were sealed we'd be unable to escape.

"Possibly. We should be prepared for it."

"This sucks," I muttered. "I wanted a normal high school life and now I'm stuck with some loud-mouthed woman and about to die. If this is a dream I'd like to wake up now. Hurry please."

"If you die with a beautiful girl like me everyone will think you forced me to commit suicide with you. How lucky for you."

"Don't even joke."

Something shifted in the darkness. Something pursuing us.

"Kuh!"

Akane leapt to the side and shot. The muzzle flash was burned into my retina. She continued to shoot. I jumped too and my skirt flipped up. I see, so my panties would show at a time like this. Probably because of that thought my jump had no follow-through and I leapt head-first into a desk.

"Owww!"

"Stop whining. You call yourself a woman?!"

"I'm not though...."

Nobody heard my reply though because the room was filled with a rock concert cacophony of gunshots and metallic impacts. l finally realized where Shizuku was in the room. She was standing near the door but it was too dark to see her expression.

"Natsuru! Use your Zauber!!" The wild dog of a woman was shooting without looking at me. "I'll hold off her blades, you take care of her!" "....I don't know how to use it."

That's right. Akane could freely use her gun, but I had no idea how to use my own power. I'd only used it once before and that was in the panic of the moment. I'd worried about this in the library as well.

"What the-! What CAN you do!"

She asks the tough questions.

"I think I'll be able to do it eventually!"

"You have to focus! Focus!! Hold your hand up and imagine that you're holding a pile of hot dog crap!"

What kind of method is that? Meanwhile Shizuku was completely ignoring my personal problems as she increased the speed of her attacks. Akane was desperately struggling to fend them off. I tried to focus my energy into the palm of my hand. I did NOT think about dog poop. I relaxed as much as I could and tried to focus.

My fingertips began to glow red, and then.... A ball of fire formed above my hand and shot directly for Shizuku. The student council president easily evaded the orb so it impacted the wall behind her and left a scorch mark. Wow.

"You did it!" Akane patted me on the back. "That's the spirit! Now split that woman's head like an overripe watermelon! I hate those student council bastards. I want them all dead."

The barbarian woman seemed happy. I didn't really care to hear about what she likes or dislikes, but having the ability to fight back was a big development. We should be an even match now, or actually, now it's 2v1 so we should have the advantage. And yet Shizuku remained untouchable just as before. What the hell?

"It's been quite some time since I met a Zauber Kampfer. Why don't you keep firing?"

Why is she so at ease? I hesitated but Shizuku appeared unprotected so I took my chance. I held out my hand and a ball of fire formed and shot towards the student council president. Shizuku swept her blade through the air. That was all it took and the fireball that I'd shot towards her fell to the ground.

"Not very good, are you? If this is all you've got you'll never beat me in this lifetime."

Shizuku smiled. It was like seeing the personification of ice smiling. She was moving even faster now. I could see afterimages of her blades in the air. It was like watching a video on fast-forward. There was a scene like this in "The Six Million Dollar Man."

"You're so useless!" Akane said the worst thing that she could have. "Those are the slowest fireballs I've ever seen! An old man can piss faster than that!" "Shut up! I'm new to this!! Be nice to me!"

"Like I give a damn! You're more useless than a DVD of XXXXXX on clearance at the video store! One of the ones that only sold XXXX!"

"Now you've said it!!"

I was pissed off. I don't know anything about late night anime, but it was obvious that I was being mocked. She even threw out specific sales numbers.

"Save your interpersonal conflicts for later, would you?"

A blade flew through the air between myself and Akane.

"We're running!"

Akane shouted and took off. I followed her as we ran out of the A/V room. Once out in the corridor I shouted.

"We can leap out the window!"

"You want everyone to see us?! We do that and we'll be out in the open!"

"But we can't fight here!"

"We can't help that, Shizuku planned that out."

So we'd fallen for her plan. An intelligent and beautiful woman is attractive, but not like this. We ran down the hallway with blades chasing after us. There should be a stairway leading down up ahead but it was possibly sealed with a fire door.

"Thank god, it's open!"

Akane began to head down while shooting. I followed.

"Oi, Akane, won't we be seen if we go outside?!"

"Who said we were going outside? There's a big lecture hall on the first floor. We can go there."

"Why there?"

"They're renovating that room so it doesn't have desks, chairs, or anything. It's a big room so we'll be able to see the limits of Shizuku's reach. If she has no means of closing on us then my Gewehr is at the advantage! We'll settle this there."

She was smiling even in a situation like this. She just loves fighting. She's definitely crazy. We ran past the second floor and continued down to the first. We got down to the first floor and went straight for the lecture hall. It was dark inside.

"I can't see anything. Natsuru, find the switch."

I reached along the wall to find the switched and found them right in the area that I'd expected. I pressed the switch.

"...They're not turning on."

"Did you press it?!"

"I did! The lights must not be hooked up!"

"Damn it, open the curtains!"

Akane went to the windows.

"....Oi! These aren't curtains! There are boards nailed over the windows!"

I used my magic to blast some of the boards to pieces. Sunlight spilled in through the opening.

"Geh....."

As light entered the room we both saw the same horrible sight. The room was full of crap. Desks, chairs, lockers, baseball equipment (why?) and anything else you can imagine. The room was being used as a storage shed.

"That's because this is a storage shed." Shizuku appeared in the doorway. "The girls side is being renovated and this side is being used as storage. And it's the perfect place for me to fight."

She sounded like she was telling the truth. Normally a room like this would be good for hiding and avoiding attacks, but Shizuku's blades could follow us into any corner or hole. In fact in a room like this Akane and I would have a very hard time attacking at all, while Shizuku would be unimpaired. We were at a horrible disadvantage.

"That crafty bitch has us cornered!"

"You're the ones who ran here."

"You know I've never been able to stand the way you talk!"

"A girl who howls like a dog is not worthy of being in my school."

"Fuck you!"

"Your vocabulary is lacking."

The student council president leaped. For a single brief moment I thought that she looked cool as she leapt into the air, but after that I was too busy running for my life to think of much. The two blades that Shizuku wielded flew about her in a flurry in every direction. My fire and Akane's bullets could hardly do anything because of all of the objects littering the room.

"Kuh!"

Akane's sailor uniform was ripped to bear her chest. Ohh... a white bra. This was supposed to be the "wild dog" version of Akane, but she's still dressed in the color of innocence.

"What the hell are you looking at!!"

I hurriedly hid myself behind a box a split second before she shot her gun at me. The box nearby was now pocked with bullet holes. She actually shot at me!! It felt like my heart might stop at any second. Now is not the time to be fighting amongst ourselves. The flying dirks sped through the air as if there were several times more than the two that I knew she wielded. She was so fast! And accurate too! No matter where I hid she found me within seconds. We were managing to hold her off with Zauber and Gewehr for now, but it was only a matter of time before we were done for.

"Owww!!"

As I was thinking that a blade carved a slice out of my shoulder. I could hear Akane shouting from time to time, but in her case I think it was simply out of anger and frustration. This sucks! And I'm hungry and thirsty on top of everything else. I checked my pockets to see if I had any gum, but of course I didn't. Instead I found something else there.

"Hey, Akane."

"What do you want you goddamned pervert? As soon as Shizuku is dead I'll be going for you."

"...Can you deflect her attacks?"

"Are you stupid? Of course I can't. Maybe before we got into this room, but now she's serious. Classes are about to let out for a break so she wants to end this before that happens, no doubt."

"Those blades of hers sure are fast."

"Yeah. Like I said, Shizuku's serious. Her blades are moving so fast I can't even see them."

"Then how do we beat her?"

"How the hell should I know? That bitch is underestimating us. I won't be satisfied until I've killed her."

Her eyes were bloodshot. Akane is clearly ready to blow a gasket. Those red eyes of hers really reflect well on her nature.

"Then go along with my plan."

"What?"

"I'm going to slow her and her blades down. Do it then."

"How?"

I told her the plan that I'd just come up with. When Akane heard my plan she had an expression like that of a nervous security guard watching for shoplifters.

"...Will that work?"

"Who knows. It's a gamble. We either do it or we don't."

"What're the stakes?"

"If we lose, death. If we win... still not great."

"You're useless. Even betting on horses has better odds than that," she grinned, "Alright, I'm with you!"

I launched fireballs to try and keep back the flying blades. Akane began to fire her gun as well. But she wasn't trying to open holes in Shizuku, instead she was firing at the ceiling. She jumped on top of a rusted locker.

"Natsuru, come!"

I leapt up. I used cardboard boxes as a platform to reach the locker and then stood atop Akane's shoulders.

"Don't drop me!"

"Then don't fall!"

I jumped forcefully. The ceiling of the room was rather high, but locker + high school girl provided enough height for me to reach the ceiling. I caught my fingers in the hole that Akane had opened. I absolutely HATE pull-ups, but I had to endure it. I held on and then flicked the lighter I'd found in my pocket and shoved it under a nearby fire alarm. Two blades were flying through the air toward me, but I had to hold on. Just a little bit longer, just a little bit....

It went off.

The alarm began to ring like a metal drum rolling down a hill and hitting every bump along the way. Even though there was no fire the alarm was screaming an alert to everyone as the sprinklers burst open and sprayed water across every inch of the lecture hall.

That was our goal.

"Akane!"

The wild dog of a woman began running as soon as I called out to her. Her target was Shizuku where she was standing near the door. Because of the downpour of water her blades were no longer able to fly as far or as fast as before. Akane dashed towards Shizuku and ducked under blade and chain. She tugged on the chain to pull the blade back but I unleashed a fireball. The wild dog leapt into close proximity of Shizuku and let her anger fuel her as she pushed the student council president down to the ground. She pressed the barrel of her gun again her forehead.

"Die you goddamned bitch!"

A gunshot rang out. The bullet opened a hole just to the side of Shizuku's head.

"Natsuru... you bastard!" Akane's words were dripping with rage. "Why did you get in the way?!"

I had used a weak fireball to knock her gun aside.

"Don't do anything that'll make it hard for me to sleep at night."

"I don't give a damn about your ability to sleep! I told you I have to kill this bitch!"

I walked closer to the two of them. Akane was on top of Shizuku and when I looked into Shizuku's eyes I could see that she was both calm and looking down on me scornfully.

"It's best if you don't pity your enemy."

"It's not pity. I want to make a deal."

I squatted down beside Shizuku. My fingertips were still hot.

"A deal? Kampfers exist to defeat their enemy."

"I'm not so bloodthirsty as that one."

"...Hmph. So what, you're offering to save me?"

"If you agree."

"What conditions?"

"I want you to release Sakura-san." I looked her in the eyes as I spoke. "Release Sakura-san and don't mess with her again. Those are the conditions."

"...Oh fuck you!"

If was of course the mad dog who protested first. I had expected it, but there was no room for bargaining.

"Forget about that dumbass Kaede. We need to get rid of this bitch or we're in danger!"

"Shut up. President, it's a yes or no question."

"...It doesn't seem like you two are on the same page."

"I don't care. What do you answer?"

"Yes."

I exhaled loudly.

"Akane, put the gun away."

"You've got to be fucking kidding."

"Just do it!"

I was surprised at the firmness of my own voice. Akane clicked her tongue with frustration and looked away. Her gun vanished. Shizuku slowly sat up. Her blades were already gone.

"....You'll regret this."

"I believe that you're someone who keeps their word."

"I said yes. I did."

She emphasized it more than was necessary. There were other red Kampfers. That must be what she was trying to indicate.

"I won't call you naive, but you're not very good at making deals.... Don't worry, I will keep my promise. I'll release Kaede." She paused a moment and continued. "You should probably go. Class will end soon and fire trucks will no doubt be arriving."

"Oh yes, and Natsuru-san. You stopped me from being shot, but do you know what would have happened if you had not interfered?"

"Well, you'd have died...."

"You truly know nothing." She cut me off and her lips curved in a smile. "Well that's a good thing in its own way."

And with that she departed the lecture hall. I watched and admired her figure as she walked away.

"...Hey Akane, do you know what was up with what she said there at the end...?"

Her answer was a fist burying itself in the side of my face as I was sent flying to sprawl among the desks.

"Fuck you." Akane spat as she flexed her fingers. "What the hell were you thinking? If you wanted to make deals then you should have gone to business school."

I sat up as my vision swam.

"...That was the only way to save Sakura-san."

"You should just ignore Kaede."

"I would regret that.... I'm not just talking about because I admire her. I have a feeling that if I'd abandoned her I'd have lost something precious as a Kampfer."

I wasn't lying. That was why I had stopped Akane just before she shot. I'd felt a warning go off in my head for some reason. I wasn't even sure what exactly I meant by saying "as a Kampfer." Not that I intend to live my life entirely based on weird warning signals going off in my head.

"I don't feel anything of the sort."

"Maybe it's just me then."

"...Huh, you trying to act cool?"

Akane yawned and then took a handful of sprinkler water and washed her face. Is that safe?

"If you've got something precious that you're scared of losing then go put it in a bank lockbox. I'm going home. You can deal with Kaede. Although...." She paused on her way out of the room. "That sprinkler idea wasn't half bad."

She smiled back at me. Akane was actually kind of cute when she smiled.

---

Aftermath

The post-battle clean-up was a nightmare. Not that I did it. I went to save Sakura-san but she had already been released from the classroom. Shizuku apparently did it. The student council president kept her word.

The technical school building was in a panic. The fire alarm went off as well as some of the sprinklers, so it was only natural. The teachers in the girls section were evacuating the students and five fire trucks arrived at the campus. When they got to the building they found Masumi unconscious. Akane and I slipped into the group of students evacuating the building and avoided any confrontation. Shizuku was actually working to direct students. Not surprising.

After that Sakura-san was brought to the infirmary with only vague, unclear memories. She said that she couldn't remember the last few days. What about her date with me? Aside from that she seemed to be perfectly fine.

Not that it really matters, but Higashida was apparently writing a special report with the Beautiful Girl Research Club about a "cute girl with a foul mouth" and an "unfriendly but beautiful girl spotted in town." If he isn't careful I might have to put an end to his antics myself.

I explained everything that happened to Disemboweled Tiger. The polyester stuffed animal laughed "Ho, ho, ho!" like Mito Koumon.

"That sounds rough."

"It was more than rough," I said, chewing a potato chip in my room. "I guess it's all okay since Sakura-san was saved, but if we end up having to fight the president again I don't feel confident that we could win."

"Natsuru-san, just because you say that you give up doesn't mean that the others will."

"...So I have to fight no matter what."

"It's your duty as a Kampfer."

Disemboweled Tiger spoke in an almost flippant tone, but there were many potential meanings to his words. Why must Kampfer fight? What happens to a Kampfer when they are defeated? I don't know anything.

"Oh don't look so upset. Let's do it! Let's go big!" Black Seppuku Rabbit burst out. I don't know what he likes about it here, but he comes by to visit with extreme regularity.

"You won so who cares? Just enjoy it."

"I don't feel like I won."

"You idiot. The enemy gave up. That's a win. There's even a saying about it! '50% is good enough to be a victory.'"

Is that really a saying? Anyways, the one who brought Black Seppuku Rabbit over was of course Akane. She was seated with the stuffed animal on her lap as she ate cookies. "I'm just glad that nobody got hurt."

She sounded truly and honestly relieved. This same girl in her Kampfer form would be shouting "DIE ALL OF YOU!" Women are truly incomprehensible.

"Nobody wants to commit murder as a high schooler, huh?"

"Exactly."

It's been about half a year since Akane gained the ability to transform. Had she defeated any enemies in that time? It seemed like she’d had some draws.

"Did you give Sakura-san your answer?"

"Huh?"

"She asked you out...."

"Oh.... right. I haven't answered."

Shizuku had abducted her before an answer could be given. The matter had been put on hold. Of course, well, how do I put it... my feelings are not decided. All I could do for now is hope that Sakura-san had forgotten all about it.

Disemboweled Tiger and Black Seppuku Rabbit were doing impressions of famous comedians, apparently. Thanks to television and the internet their knowledge of modern media was rapidly growing. What would happen if we added Shizuku's Electrocuted Wildcat to the mix? Akane sipped from the cheap tea cup in her hand as she looked around the room.

"So you live alone, Natsuru-san?"

"Yeah."

"You don't have any siblings?"

"I don't. I had someone who was like a sibling... but they've gone abroad."

"Huh... a girl?"

"Yeah... Hey, cut it out. A stuffed animal can't drink."

I went to take a sip of cola and found Disemboweled Tiger trying to drink it, so I took the bottle away. Then I had to grab Black Seppuku Rabbit and threatened to pull his ears off if he didn't stop trying to eat potato chips. He replied with, "Are you trying to imitate Akane when she's transformed? You're getting a dirty mouth on you." So I began to pull on his ears as if to rip them off and Akane hurriedly broke up the fight.

Disemboweled Tiger was hopping about finding it all great fun and for a while the room was abuzz with activity. I didn't notice my phone was ringing because of all of the noise.

Unexpected Returns

".....How many times does it have to ring before you pick up?" She hung up and returned to the home screen of her phone, her words dripping with great annoyance. "No point calling again, he'll just fail to answer."

She put the phone away and began to walk. Her surroundings were nostalgic. It was an utterly mundane and commonplace street, but for this girl it was the home where she had been born and raised. She had gone overseas for a while due to certain circumstances, but home was certainly the best place to be. Her phone rang and she took it out, expecting it to be him, but it was not.

"Yes, hello... it's been a while."

Her voice became more cheerful. It wasn't from him, but instead from a friend.

"....Yes. The transfer is all settled. The same school. Let's play again."

The voice on the other end of the line belonged to a cheerful girl.

"Hm? You met someone wonderful? Oh no, you got a boyfriend? .....? It's a girl in second year? I didn't know you swing that way."

She laughed.

"Oh come on, it was a joke! ....I see. Well introduce me to her."

She nodded several times.

"Yeah, okay. ....Yeah, we can talk at school. Okay, talk to you later, Masumi."

The call ended. It made her happy to hear from a friend from primary school so soon. She was glad that she'd announced her return home.

She would be living here again. She'd have him tutor her. Hm, or maybe she'd be the one doing the tutoring? First she'd have him take her shopping. It's been ages since they last met so it was the least he could do. She was smiling as she walked down the road when an older woman spoke to her.

"Oh my, if it isn’t Mikoto-chan! So you've come home." She bobbed her head in a quick bow.

"It's nice to see you again. I just came back yesterday."

"Oh it's been so long. Are you parents with you?"

"They're still overseas. I came back early."

"I see..... Oh yes, you know Senou-san's son, don't you?"

"Yes."

She checked the pocket where she'd put her phone.

"His parents had to transfer to Kyushu for work so apparently he's living alone now."

"...Is that so?"

"He's a boy so I'm sure he's struggling to manage on his own. Maybe you could help him out?"

"Yes, I'll do that."

Another bow. Huh, so Natsuru is living alone now? Alright then, how about if I drop in and give him a surprise visit! Knowing him he's still completely clueless about women so having a girl show up at his house will really throw him for a loop.

With her mind full of thoughts of surprising Natsuru, Kondou Mikoto set off down the road with a cheerful spring to her step.

Notes

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