Kamisama no Memochou:Volume 1 Chapter 1

"It's a primitive response to gratitude. To give pleasure. You see, our normal hosts are quite mindless; they can be thanked only by physical sensation"

"Thank you for accepting transporting me. Thank you very much."

• from "The Only Neat Thing to Do" by James Tiptree, Jr.

Chapter 1

On the winter when I was sixteen, I actually met many different types of people – there was a boxer, a soldier, a gigolo, a detective and a yakuza member. They were all NEETs – just of different varieties. The term ‘NEET’ occasionally surfaces on the news or in the newspapers, and I thought it merely referred to unmotivated and unemployed youths, but in reality there are actually many different sides to them. There is no all-encompassing reason as to why they remain jobless or do not go to school.

“The term ‘NEET’ refers to neither ‘useless people’ nor ‘lazy people’.” That is what the detective said to me. “The only difference lies in the rules. While everybody else uses the board to play checkers, we use chess pieces instead.”

“I don’t really get it. Does that mean you’re just getting in the way?” I naively questioned. The detective thought for a moment, pursing her cherry-like lips which eventually gave way to a silent smile.

“I suppose it would indeed seem that way to those who merely want to rush ahead. I understand that society wishes to group us all up and label us thus, and fling us out into the rubbish dump; I also understand that they wish to point at us and laugh mockingly. Let them laugh all they want. No matter how you may want to argue it, that we are a negative influence to the society at large is an undeniable truth.

The detective gazed at her opened hands, eventually raising her head again. This time, her smile wasn’t one of sarcasm and bitterness – but one that was comparable to the sun’s rays on a freezing winter’s day. “We will never laugh at ourselves. Just as the earthworms do not fear darkness, a penguin will not be ashamed of its inability to fly. That is the meaning of what it is to live, is it not?”

I couldn’t give her any answer, because I had never thought so deeply about such matters. Regardless, no matter how many metaphors you use, isn’t the fact that you are all useless people the main gist of it?

However, it was also that very same winter when I first saw a dead corpse, and when I first assaulted another person. It was the first time in my life that I personally contemplated about what it means to actually be alive. I suppose anybody who has witnessed another person giving up on his life or giving up and seek death will feel the same way as I have.

Yet, that is a story for much later. For now, I would like to talk about the winter when I first met all these people, and the story of a non-NEET, normal girl.

*

Near the end of November, I met Ayaka for the first time.

After school ended on Tuesday, I sat on the water tower on the roof of the southern campus, staring into empty space facing the tall buildings far away. Normally once school ends, I would go report in at the computer room and focus on club activities that only involves one person. But on afternoons with computer lessons, even after school there will still be a lot of students remaining to play with the computers that they usually don't come in contact with. I am unable to bring myself to walk in just like that, so every Tuesday and Thursday I always come up to the roof to waste time. Staring at the computer room on the second story of the northern campus, giving off a huge amount of "Get Lost Already!" waves, and sighing as I look down onto the streets.

The streets of the city I currently live in can be separated into two colors, the long thin river that flows like the artery of a patient is the divider of the colors. The side closer to me has rusted roofs of factories, cheap housing lying back to back to each other, then high school. I am not sure why, but there are a lot of shrines and graves in this area; My house is also on this side. On the other side is a tall flyover bridge with a highway to the capital, a gigantic train station with countless railways, tall buildings packed along complicated slopes, shopping malls and television stations. On sunny days, you can even see the shadow of the government building far away. Tokyo is an amazing place to let boring housings that can be found anywhere in Japan and tall modern buildings to co-exist peacefully here.

Looking down from the roof, the train station is like a scene in an advertisement on TV, without realism. Probably because I don't want to get close to that area? As we can wear our school uniform and just go out and play immediately after school, I heard that our school is rather popular in Tokyo; If the sailor costume has bright colors, it might even increases its attractiveness by around 40%.

That day is a cloudy day, just nice enough that you can examine closely the glass panels of the tall buildings that are normally not visible due to their bright reflections. But talking about it, it is just a bunch of glass windows that are cut by similar methods. I always fill those glass squares with colors in my mind, sketching pixel art.

I've gotten used to killing time like that. I think it's because I'm always transferring schools because of my dad's work. At the beginning of October, when I transferred into my current high school, I joined the PC club just because there was no one else active there, and went about my school life without being noticed by anyone. I've often thought that there's no point in me going to high school. I don't go to classes either.

As I was gazing at the building, I suddenly heard a clattering sound below me, causing me to raise my feet. The water supply tower was set on top of the stair room jutting out from the roof. It was the sound of someone who had climbed up the stairs opening the door.

"Is someone there?"

I heard a girl's voice. When I carefully leaned forward and and peered directly below, she turned around, meeting my gaze.

She had short hair, and strong-spirited eyebrows, contrasting her eyes, which gave off a cute, friendly impression. I felt like I'd seen her before. As I moved to get up, she made a surprised face, letting out a "Wah!" I tumbled down from the water supply tower.

It was lucky that I fell from my feet, but because the backs of my hands scraped roughly against the concrete wall, the first thing she did when we met was wash my wounds with water from the watering can she had.

"Why would you climb up a place like that, it's dangerous!"

She said while applying plasters on my wound. Being asked such a question, I couldn’t answer her.

“……idiots and something likes high places, after all.”

“You have to play down the ‘idiots’ part when you say that!”(Note: Japanese idiom, idiots and smoke like high places.)

She calmly replied. Although I wanted to escape, I couldn’t do so as my hand was held tightly. “There, I’m done. Remember not to climb to high places again.” She lightly tapped my right hand, which was full of plasters, just like a caretaker scolding small children. Then, she said while smiling, “Even though I said all that, actually I climbed it before myself. Seeing the ladder over there really gives you an urge to climb it, don’t you?”

Anyways, who on earth is this fellow? As I can’t recall the faces and names of anyone in school, I cannot think of any girl who would talk to me with such a friendly tone.

Suddenly, I saw the yellow badge on her left arm. Although it was quite old and have already become somewhat faded, the words ‘Gardening Committee’ can still be seen on it. At that moment, I finally noticed the large number of flower pots arranged beside the railings. Does our school even have a gardening committee?

“Ah, so you have to climb that high to see the computer lab! Are you that type of person, Fujishima-kun? Those who can’t concentrate when someone else is in the room? Those artistic types?

The girl held on to the railings, saying all that while looking at the school building opposite of us. I was shocked.

“——How did you know about that?”

I let out a shout that startled even myself. She turned around to look at me with a look of shock on her face.

“Well, our class is on this side of the third floor, and we can see the computer lab from here. Besides, Fujishima-kun always sits beside the windows.”

I was found out. Colour drained out of my face. How much does this girl know? She doesn’t know that I was drawing naughty pictures on the computer, does she? Wait, that’s not the main point…

“Why do you know my name?”

She raised her arms like a baseball pitcher who was readying to pitch the ball. It seemed my question surprised her..

“Don’t you remember me? We’re even in the same class too!”

“Huh?”

I started to become anxious. From when I transferred to this school, I practically avoided all contact with other people, which is why I can’t remember the names of my classmates.

“ It was I who told you where the Welfare Society is and collected information of World History for you. Even when you were changing clothes during P.E class, I have helped you out!”

“Wa- Wait a minute!”

“That last comment was just a joke~”

This girl…

“Although that I thought that you might have forgotten about me, but I didn’t really believe that it really was true…..”

Seeing the girl with tears glistening in her eyes, I can’t help but feel somewhat guilty.

“My name is Ayaka Shinozaki, and I sit just beside you in class. How can you even forget about me like this?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Fujishima-kun, you don’t think that you are a part of our class, do you? You even skipped school during the school festival.

But the school festival was held just a week after I transferred, which was why I decided not to go.

“And you aren’t even wearing the class ID. High schools that have class IDs are really rare, it’s a pity if you don’t wear it!”

I don’t really think it’s a pity, so I lied to her: “ I lost it.”

“Then I’ll borrow you mine then, I have some to spare at home.” Said Ayaka while taking off her class badge from her sailor uniform.

“Huh? No, there’s really no need to.”

“Really, don’t move.”

She caught me from the back when I was trying to escape. I couldn’t help but to freeze and pause my breathing. She moved her hands to the front of my blazer and wore the class badge on the collar of my blazer. From another perspective, wouldn’t it seem like she was hugging me from my back? No, wait, I have to calm down.

After what seemed like a very long time, the warmth of her body finally faded from my back.

“Hmm, that’s better.”

She turned me around and nodded with a satisfied look on her face. I lowered my gaze with complicated feelings, and gazed at the blue and green badge. It was as if an alien thing appeared on my neck. Why did she help me until this extent? I saw many other people who take very good care of transfer students, but it was the first time I saw someone who was that helpful.

“The school rules say that students must wear it, so don’t you take it off.”

“Why do the schools in Tokyo have so many odd rules…..”

Actually, isn’t it my fault for feeling that Tokyo is a very free place? One of the many annoying rules is that students must take part in at least one club. It was all because of these rules that I would get into these kinds of troubles.

“If it weren’t for the school rules, you probably would have been in the Going-Home-Club, wouldn't you?”

So? Can’t I?

“But isn’t the Computer Club going to be closed next year?”

“……Huh?”

“You see, the Third Years are going to graduate soon. I’ve heard when they were deciding the budget for clubs in April that clubs with less than two members have to be closed down.”

It was the first time that I’ve heard of such an important matter. I recalled the pale, tomato-shaped face of the consultant of the Computer Club. That guy wanted to let the Computer Club close down without saying a thing huh? No wonder my club activities are so relaxing.

“As I was saying…”

Ayaka suddenly raised her voice, startling me into stepping back half a step. “I have something to discuss with you. If you would accept my conditions…..” Her expression showed that she had a strong resolution. “I would agree to join the Computer Club!”

“……Conditions?”

“Actually, I’m the only person in the Gardening Club.”

Ayaka, who had a triumphant look on her face for some reason, placed the badge on her left arm on my palm. Gardening Club? Isn’t it the Gardening Committee?

“The committee was closed down ages ago. I found this lying around in a cupboard. Isn’t it cool?”

“I don’t think so at all.”

“Why do you always say things like that!”

Her whole face flushed red. I don’t understand why you are so agitated.

“Small clubs have to help each other out, isn’t that right?”

*

Finally, I had to give in to Ayaka’s threats and accept her conditions. We went to the Teacher’s Office to hand in our application form, and things were supposed to end just like that. Understanding that I cannot stay at the rooftop alone anymore, I could only find another place to spend my time after school. As I was returning home, I thought to myself: Is the library okay or would the teachers’ exclusive washroom be better?

Even so, Ayaka walked to my tableside right after school.

“I’m going to borrow the keys to the rooftop, so you can get the gardening tools first! You know where they are , right? You can look for the cupboard with “Gardening Committee” on it.”

My classmates’ gazes fluttered between Ayaka and me, who was busy putting away my books.

“Aren’t I just a ghost member?” I started to say.

“…..A ghost member?” Ayaka turned away, her face started to pale. “Th- That’s right, I’m so sorry. I- I was just too excited, and that confused me.”

It looked like tears could pour out of her eyes at any moment. My classmates’ gazes pierced through me, as if it was I who made Ayaka cry…… No, it WAS me who made her cry. Anyhow, this situation is just terrible. “Erm, uh, wait a sec!”

“Fujishima-kun, you’re busy with your activities at the Computer Club, right? I’m really sorry for bothering you.”

“O- Of course not——”

“Aren’t you going to complete your drawing of the girl on the computer soon? You just haven’t added the dress yet, right?”

“UWAAAAAAHHHHH!”

I hastily covered up Ayaka’s mouth.

“Alright, alright! I got it. I’ll help you then.”

“…… Really?” The tears vanished from her face all of a sudden. “Thank you so much!”

She stuck out her tongue, as if it was a prank just now. Arrggh, this girl…

“Aya-chan, is there a new member in your club?”

A female classmate asked while giving me a suspicious look.

“Oh, yes. That’s why we have more horsepower now. You can ask him anything about plants!”

My classmates looked at each other.

“Oh, yeah!” a male classmate raised his hand. “There’s a lot of mould on the washroom sink, please think of something to help.”

“Mould isn’t even a plant!” exclaimed Ayaka.

“No, it should count as a plant, shouldn’t it?” “Differentiating organisms by animals or plants is already outdated!” “Aren’t the ones in the washroom moss?” “Lichen are definitely not plants!” “The ones in the Biology Club, shut up.” “But its growing really quickly.” “It looks like someone’s face.” “Really?”

The guys started to discuss this topic with vigor. What’s with this class? After about twenty minutes of discussion, Ayaka ended up getting a mould spray to clear it away. I hastily stopped Ayaka from going into the men’s washroom.

“……Allow me!” My classmates probably feel sorry for me for having to clear away the mould that have spread to the whole wall. A few of them came in to help me. The washroom soon stank of the pungent odor of chlorine.

“Fujishima, it was hard for you……”

They started to pity me.

“Of course, Shinozaki is not bad too.” “Not a bad person.” “Yeah.”

I nodded tiredly while scrubbing the wall vigorously with a sponge.

It was at that moment that I suddenly realized, it was the first time my classmates called my name. Even so, I can’t even answer them properly.

*

“Let’s have a welcome party! My treat!”

She said that evening as we were carrying the orchid plants indoors.

“I work part time at a ramen store, I can give you a discount.”

I thought to myself: Its rare for girls in high school to work part time.

“Its because I often go there, I became a part time worker. There’s many interesting customers too. Do you want to go with me?”

“Why——”

Thinking of Ayaka’s tearful face if I refused her, I reluctantly nodded. After placing the tools back to the cupboard and returned the keys to the staff’s office, I walked out of the school entrance with her.

After learning that I haven’t even gone across the Shuto Expressway, she was astonished.

“But don’t you live just nearby?”

“Well, I’ve just moved here recently, and there’s a lot of people at the station, so I didn’t really feel like going. Besides, I don’t even have a reason to go.”

“You don’t usually go to bookshops or record stores?”

I nodded. I usually just buy the books or records that I want online, since I might not find the things that I want even though the actual shops are big.

“Is that so. But the shop that I’ve just mentioned is very far from the station. The ramen isn’t really that good, but the ice-cream that they sell is extremely delicious, so it’s still very famous.”

“Then just start an ice-cream shop instead…”

“Remember not to say that to Min-san, or you’ll get ramen served with ice cream.”

Min-san is probably the owner of the ramen shop. Is he Chinese?

Ayaka walked a bit faster than me. Seeing her happily prancing around, I was extremely mystified. Where did it went wrong, why did it turn out like this? Why is she so nice to me?

When we were crossing the bridge, a large delivery truck passed by, spraying dust on us. Walking into the streets, we passed under the Shuto Expressway viaduct and walked towards the station. After that, we walked along with the crowd and entered the south side and exited the underpass through the east side.

We walked back to the surface and walked in the direction of the railways. After we passed by a tramp’s tent in a park, we found the ramen shop in a dark alley that the streetlights can’t reach. On the building that was both an apartment and a shop, only the signboard that says ‘Hanamaru Ramen Shop’ has any light on it. Seeing the customers gathered around the shop, they looked like bugs attracted to a bug zapper.

The inside of the ramen shop was very cramped, most of the space in the shop was taken up by the kitchen. There were only five tables, and the other customers could only eat outside on the steel chair. There were even some customers who were sitting on cardboard boxes, eating their ramen while holding the bowl.

“You can just sit wherever you like.”

After saying that, she entered the shop. Although she told me to sit wherever I like, the problem is the chairs and cardboard boxes are already full.

Between the buildings that she was squeezing in, I saw an emergency ladder beside the door to the kitchen. There was a man sitting there eating ramen. Beneath the ladder, there were stacks of worn tires, small gas tanks and some cardboard boxes that were full of stains.

When he raised his head, I couldn’t help but to take a step back. The man was about twenty and had darkish skin. It was already November, but he was just wearing a T-shirt, completely showing off his bulging biceps. At the moment that he stared at me, I even thought that I would get killed.

“You are a student of M High School?”

“Nonono, I’m still in middle school. Do I look that much like a high schooler?” I lied for no reason at all. He put down his bowl and said:

“Really? The teacher teaching Maths, Fukumoto-sensei. Does he still have any hair left?”

“No, a lot of his hair has already dropped o……AH!”

He approached me and flicked my forehead. The pain made me feel as if it bore a hole on my forehead.

“…… Uuuuuu…… That’s too despicable of you. Since you’ve graduated from our school, why don’t you say so in the first place!” I, myself, don’t understand why I feel that he is despicable (It was obvious from my school uniform that I’m from M High School, its my problem for lying), I held my aching head and crouched down while moaning. This moment, a voice sounded behind me:

“He didn’t graduate. This guy was kicked out of school : a drop out. Here, eat this.”

When I turned my head, I saw a young lady wearing a gray, sleeveless vest standing behind me. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, and you could see a white sarashi around her chest. She looked just like a labourer. It was only because of the black apron with ‘Hanamaru’ printed on it in white that I found out that she was from the shop. Does that mean that she is Min-san? So she’s a woman!

The thing that Min-san just stuffed into my hands was ice cream filled in a paper cup.

“Boss, I’ve told you many times already, I’m not kicked out. I dropped out myself.”

“Say that after you’ve cleared your debt with me, you bum.”

“Babies are jobless when they were born too! It’s after that, that they are dyed by the cruel reality in this world.”

That is colourless, not jobless. (T.N: In Japanese, jobless and colourless have the same pronunciation (Mushoku) ) But Min-san doesn’t seem to want to reply him, but instead turned around and went back into the kitchen full of white smoke. I held the paper cup with the ice cream and just stood there in a daze for some time.

“Hey, you there!” the person who was kicked out of school called me. As soon as I turned around, I hastily covered my forehead. “What are you so nervous about! So you’re in first year now, huh?” He said while looking at my class badge. “How many fails did you get in your test?”

“Huh?”

Why on earth are you asking me something like this?

“Fujishima-kun, don’t talk to Tetsu-senpai for so long, you’ll get the NEET virus!”

Ayaka, who wore the black apron outside her school uniform, said while carrying out a tray full of bowls, and walked out of the kitchen. The dark skinned guy —— Tetsu-senpai gnashed his teeth, but only pretended to flick Ayaka’s forehead. This is just preferential treatment! Ayaka stuck out her tongue, and served the customers outside the shop.

“Oh, just answer me already! Your face tells me that you got a lot of fails in your exams since first year.”

Although I thought that he was a busybody, what he said was still the truth. I could only answer in a small voice: “ I need to retake my English and Japanese History.” Tetsu-senpai caught hold of my arms while beaming, forcefully dragged me to the gas tank and made me sit down.

“Actually, the seats here are specially for NEETs. You have the potential to be a NEET, if you’ve dropped out, you can come here ! We will always welcome you then.”

“No, please don’t expect that of me.” We? Are there anyone else who’s with him?

“Why? I can start from teaching you how to select pachinko machines! Also, I know some of the employees quite well, they can tell you which machine is the easiest to score!”

When I had a closer look, I saw some magazines about pachinko gambling stashed in Tetsu-senpai’s hind pocket. Whoa, so this guy is a professional pachinko player, a truly useless person. I averted my gaze from Tetsu-senpai, and started to eat the ice-cream using a wooden spoon. Basking in the evening sun of this late autumn, savouring the delightful aroma of the ramen soup while eating ice cream, it is extremely delicious.

The second person of the ‘we’ that Tetsu-senpai spoke of appeared when I was eating roast pork noodles. He suddenly pressed a hard object at the back of my head and said: “Don’t move. Throw away your weapon, raise your hands, declare your name and unit.” I almost spitted the roast pork out of my mouth.

“Erm…… Err…… But……” If I raised my hands, the roast pork would fall out!

“Major, you are so slow. Stop doing idiotic stuff and sit down.”

Tetsu-senpai said while stirring his vanilla flavoured ice cream and caramel sauce.

“But he’s sitting on my place! Who is this fellow?”

“Narumi, he’s in the same club as Ayaka.”

“Hiro said that he’s coming later too, there won’t be enough seats.”

“Hiro can just sit on Narumi’s thigh.”

“Oh, I see.”

What do you mean you see?

The guy called Major then walked to my field of vision. He wore a dark green and coffee-coloured camouflaging sports attire, a helmet that looks quite sturdy, and a pair of sunglasses shaped like goggles. He was somewhat thin and his skin was a beautiful shade of pink like primary school students. He actually looks about my age. While putting away the model gun (Well, I think it might be a model gun, but what if it’s a real gun?” into his khaki backpack, he looked at me and said:

“But isn’t this guy a high schooler? He doesn’t fit the description of a NEET.”

“Don’t worry, he’s my kouhai. He’ll become a great NEET after a year or two.”

“I definitely won’t become a NEET!” I protested hastily. Through his goggles, Major glared at me and sat on the cardboard box.

“In this era when there are about a billion NEETs in our country, NEET replicas like you are necessary, aren’t you? The future of our country sure is dark.”

“……replica?”

In bewilderment, I asked him what did he mean by pseudo. Major pointed at me and started to chatter enthusiastically:

“Speaking of which, do you know the definition of a NEET? The word ‘NEET’ was originally used on people who are in between the ages of 16 and 18, are not in education or employment. When the word came to Japan from England, its meaning changed to include people from 15 to 34. As a lot of types appeared, they were even classified into the active type and the passive type, the sudden type, challenged type, caveman type and hesitating type. Besides that, there were some attempts to classify them using three-dimensional coordination to classify them into eight quadrants, but they are meaningless classifications to me.”

“Mukai-san, sorry for the wait.”

Ayaka served Major his salt-flavoured ramen. It looks like Mukai is Major’s real name.

“I’m so sorry, Fujishima-kun, there would be less customers after a while.”

I tried to give Ayaka a ‘justfindanexcuseformetoleavethisseat’ signal, but she didn’t get it. Major sipped some soup and continued:

“NEETs are originally just a cultural illness of reliance, and will only appear in a prosperous country like ours. We should be more proud of NEETs! Love the country that strives to produce NEETs, for world peace, we must stand up! We must find more non-replica NEET elites, learn from each other , form a new Japanese Party, and bravely challenge the evil! Grow, NEETs! Grow like burning fire! NEETs!”

“It’s so noisy! Just shut up and eat your noodles!”

Min-san’s furious outburst echoed from the kitchen, and was followed by a small frying pan, which landed on Major’s head.

“Huh? What’s with that guy?”

A male voice rang in the alley, and a tall silhouette appeared at the end of the alley.

A young man daringly wearing a brightly colored coat with khaki jeans was standing at the end of the alley. His occupation was a mystery, but he radiated the aura of a professional person. His aura was different from what Tetsu-senpai had, but they have the same imposing manner. That man came near me, and I almost fell off the gas tank.

“He’s Ayaka’s friend. See, he’s from M High School.” Said Tetsu-senpai. “Oh? Oh——”That man patted my shoulders and said:

“There was a time when Tetsu was wearing this uniform too!”

He shot a look at the narrow kitchen back door and sat down beside Tetsu-senpai. I started to get confused, aren’t the seats here just for NEETs?

“Hi, it’s the first time meeting you. Here’s my card.” He took a piece of card out of his pockets and handed it to me. He IS a working person! While thinking so, I took the card, on the card it was printed:

‘NEET Hiroaki Kuwabara’

…… Huh? I nearly fainted at that moment.

To make sure of the world that I live in, I breathed in deeply and looked at my surroundings. Tetsu-senpai was eating ice cream, Major was eating salt-flavored ramen. Ayaka was busy washing bowls in the smoky kitchen, Min-san was having a battle royale in the flames. Looking at the night skies in this autumn, the only person who finds that something was wrong was me.

“Is…… Is your job a NEET?”

I asked cautiously. Hiro showed me a smile worthy of a toothpaste advertisement while saying:

“What are you talking about? Being a NEET isn’t a job!”

Well, that’s true. As I was about to nod, Hiro’s next comment completely devastated me.

“Being a NEET is a lifestyle.”

He actually said that it was a lifestyle? I could almost cry. Hiro, with his eyes narrowed while pushing back his hair, was meaninglessly handsome. What on earth is with these people?

“Did you make these cards before, Hiro?”

“Well, its quite convenient while flirting. When people just see it they’ll be laughing.”

“Didn’t I tell you that you’ll make your girlfriend angry like this, and don’t flirt with other people so much?”

“Ah, I broke up with her already. I’m now living at the house of a lady working at a night club, saying that I’m jobless from the start makes my life much easier!”

So Hiro is a gigolo! Well, he did say that it was a lifestyle.

I listened to their conversation at the side while drinking the ramen soup, but I didn’t really notice the taste. From their conversation, I gathered that they were about 18 to 19, supposed to be teenagers who have bright futures.

I vaguely thought to myself: would Tetsu-senpai’s words come true, I’ll turn out like them soon? I just hope that this won’t be true.

After we finished eating the ramen, and were tasting the ice creams (Tetsu-senpai was eating his second one), an extremely noisy rock music suddenly blared in this narrow space, it was ‘Colorado Bulldog (Note: Song by the band Mr. Big)’. The three immediately sprang up, took out their handphones, the three handphones almost simultaneously playing the same ringtone.

Tetsu-senpai picked up the call first, then Major and Hiro’s phone immediately stopped ringing, they showed an expression that seemed very much like regret.

“Min-san, Alice has an order for you! Onion ramen, without ramen, roast pork and egg.”

Doesn’t that mean there’s only onions left? I thought to myself. After three minutes, the bowl that Min-san took out does look like there’s only onions and soup.

“Tell this clearly to her, we sell ramen.” Min-san said with a sour expression on her face.

The onions floating in the soup seemed like islands on the sea of soup. Tetsu-senpai, Major and Hiro looked at each other.

“The problem is, who’s gonna take it to her?” said Tetsu-senpai.

“Does Alice seem like she’s in a bad mood?” asked Hiro.

“Definitely.”

“Do you take it to her?” me asking this question was a sign of doom. Tetsu-senpai nodded, and then slapped his kneecap.

“Since there’s four people here, lets decide by a Yamanote Line game（Note: Originally, it’s a game where the each player tells the name of a station that the Yamanote Line can reach. Here, they will say things that are related to the topic given）, the one who loses sends it.”

Four people?

“So what’s the topic?”

“Lets use “Brochures commonly found at employment agencies” then.”

“Okay, but there’s only one chance when you can’t answer.”

“Wa- Wait a minute, did you count me in?”

“Okay, lets start from me. ‘ Guide to a Laborer’s Insurance’.”

“ ‘Searching for your Dreams from Thirty-two’.” “ ‘Discover your Talents in Two Minutes’.”

“Ah, uh, erm……”

“Narumi, that’s your first loss. ‘How to Resign Favorably’.”

“ ‘Creating Your Business From A Computer’!”

“ ‘Guide for Blending in your New Workplace’.”

“…… How on earth would I know any of those!”

“Ah, getting angry are you? Narumi, as long as you’re a NEET, you’ll know about these! Going to an employment agency but coming back without doing anything, this is a route that we must take.”

No, the problem is I’m not a NEET.

“If you lose you’ll have to admit it.”

“Don’t mind it, Narumi, it isn’t embarrassing that you don’t know about these.”

“Well, of course! Don’t console me!”

“But you still have to send over the ramen!”

Unable to retort, that was how I fell into their trap.

The place that I was supposed to send the ramen was in the same building as the ramen shop, but in the third floor, room 308. As they said: “You’ll know when you go.” There was a large signboard on the door.

‘NEET Detective Agency’

The words were written with a somewhat cute handwriting, and there were a row of mystifying English words.

It’s the only NEET thing to do

My mind have already gone numb after the events that I’ve gone through today, so I won’t be surprised if I see a NEET being a detective. I used the corner of the tray that was holding the ramen to press the electric bell, and the electric bell that was modified with a side camera flashed a blue light. According to Tetsu-senpai, that was the sign for ‘Come in’.

After opening the door, I saw that it was a long single room. As the air-conditioner was going strong, it was even colder that outside. Walking past the fridge, kitchen and washing machine in the corridor, a narrow room could be seen. As there were not any partitions in the room, a computer rack could be seen even from the entrance, and countless monitors filled the walls of the room.

“Your ramen is here……”

“Please enter.”

The voice of a young girl sounded from inside of the room.

While holding the tray,I walked into the room. This room is really quite something. Three sides of the walls were covered with unknown machines, liquid plasma monitors and electric cables, the small space left —— the floor in the middle of the room, was also filled with a mattress. As if buried in dolls, the silhouette wearing pajamas turned over her head.

She looked just like a doll.

She looked just like a doll. She had a small face, a pair of large eyes that were in contrast with here face, unbelievably white skin, thin limbs, sleek hair flowing on the sheets, and was wearing pale blue pajamas with pictures of cartoon bears on it. I held the tray and stared at the girl.

The girl shifted aside the table with the keyboard on, and pulled out another long table to her bed, just like those small tables that were used with the mattresses in the hospital.

“What are you standing there for? I ordered onion ramen. I don’t remember ordering a high school student-shaped decoration.”

“Ah, um…… Where should I put the ramen?”

“Standing so far away, do you think that my hands seem like they’re long enough that I can take the bowls from your hands?”

I was scolded by her. But I do not even feel angry or surprised anymore. I placed the tray on the table in front of the girl. She took the disposable chopsticks, looked at it for awhile and breathed in deeply. Her small face was full of vigor, the hands holding the tip of the chopsticks was applying force on it. But when the chopsticks were dragged into a ‘人’ shape, it just shook but did not separate. How little strength does this girl have?

“…… Would you like me to give you a hand?”

The cute girl wearing the pajamas was obviously glaring at me.

“It seems that you’re the type that sees a frail bird that couldn’t fly, tosses them upwards and sink in your own satisfaction, aren’t you? This type of people is the most useless of them all. When you walk away triumphantly, the bird would fall back down on the asphalt road and die, but you won’t even know that. Being dumb really should have its own limits.”

It’s just a pair of disposable chopsticks, why am I scolded like this? But I did not retort her. Again, she breathed in deeply and applied force to separate the chopsticks.

Thwack. (sound effect)

The chopstick on the right has split into two, this is the most common result. She emotionlessly stared for awhile at the chopsticks with unequal length, and then started to cry. Hey, don’t cry!

She used the back of her hand to rub her wet eye, and started to eat the (there’s really only onions there) onion ramen. As I was thinking of this, she again started to glare at me and said: “Your interests are really out of my comprehension, does silently watching people eat make you happy?”

“Ah, so- sorry.”

When I wanted to walk out of the room, this time she said: “Where are you going? If you have gone, who’ll dispose of the bowls? You should really think about this.” I scratched my head, having no other choice, I squatted down at the entrance with my back to the mattress.

While listening to the girl wearing pajamas eating the onions, I thought of what had happened today. I was just here because I couldn’t refuse Ayaka’s request…… Then, I encountered a lot of stuff. I was very tired. As I was about to drift into sleep, the girl’s voice rang out yet again.

“Narumi, I’m done. Get some beverages for me from the fridge.”

Startled, I turned back to face the girl.

“Eh, huh?”

“I said, get me something to drink from the fridge. Falling asleep even in someone else’s house, you are so shameless.”

Who are you to say that about me? But still, I followed her instructions as I did not have the energy to resist. Opening the fridge, it was stuffed full of 350ml red cans, and nothing else. I thought that all of them were Coke, but they were actually all Dr. Pepper, I don’t even have the energy to say anything. The girl drank all of the Dr. Pepper that I brought her in one breath, and happiness welled out from her face. Seeing that expression, I felt that I could forgive everything.

“When God was creating the world, it was because He drank Dr. Pepper that He took a rest on the seventh day. If Dr. Pepper does not exist, there would be twelve days in a week instead of seven.”

“Is that so?”

“Narumi, you should drink it too! I can’t give you the ones in my fridge, but I can tell you where you can get them.”

Aren’t you giving me a drink?

“…… Wait!” That was when I realized: “Why do you know my name?”

Was it when she was talking to Tetsu-senpai on the phone? No, at that moment Alice was just ordering her onion ramen, and she hung up after she ordered. There wasn’t any time for them to say my name.

“Fujishima Narumi, sixteen, male, 164cm tall, weighs 51kg, in class 1-4 of M high school……” She fluently said all of my basic information —— address, phone number, educational background, and family background. I was speechless.

“Ayaka said that there was a new club member, so I just investigated a bit. There is so much information in your school, but there are so little protective measures, it’s better if you be more careful.”

At a loss of words, I looked at the wall formed by computers.

“…… Are you a hacker?”

“I’m not a hacker.”

The girl smiled while shaking her head.

“I’m a NEET detective.”

The detective said, Alice was partly her real name, and partly an alias.

“Yuuko can also be read as Alice (Note: 有子is read as yuuko, but 有can be read as ari, 子 can be read as su). The name Alice was taken from James Tiptree's real name.”

“Who is he?”

Alice sat on the mattress while hugging her knees, looking at me as if looking at an idiot.

“He’s a novelist! Didn’t you see the signboard at the door? Although I changed a letter, it was quite a famous quote! Haven’t you read of it before?”

I cocked my head, thinking of the English words on the signboard.

“Detectives that you speak of…… Don’t they just accept other people’s requests and investigate various cases?”

“I am not an ordinary detective, but a NEET detective. They are as different as Chofu and Den Enchofu, mind you. An ordinary detective asks around for information, monitors other people, all in all going here and there to search for information and find their target. NEET detectives, however……”

Alice puffed up her chest, turned around to the wall covered with machines and waved her hands.

“Do not need to leave their rooms even a step, but can search the whole world to find out the truth. You probably just think that I’m just a hikkikomori who’s overly reliant on the Internet, huh? You don’t need to lie.”

“Erm….. Yeah.”

“Hmph, that’s because the common man cannot understand the work of a detective. A detective is the representative of the deceased, looking for words lost from their graves, hurting the living for the sake of protecting the honour of the deceased, and condemning the dead for the sake of consoling the living. That is why this is an unpopular and misunderstood occupation…… Are you showing an expression that says why am I, as a hikkikomori, saying all these?”

“No, my expression shouldn’t be that obvious.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“But you look like you have something to say. Don’t worry, just ask! Because of my occupation, I am already used to unending questions. And I will let you fall into despair very quickly.”

…… Despair?

I don’t really have anything much to ask, just that I’m a bit shocked by the endless chatter of this strange girl, Alice. But in this situation, it seems that I need to ask a question. Looking around this room that looks like a control room, I asked the question that was the most confusing to me.

“You…… What do you usually eat? Do you always eat those stuff?”

Alice’s round eyes became even rounder.

“This small matter is the first thing that you thought of?’’

“…… I think that what we eat is very important.”

“Yes, you are correct. You are also an oddball, different from what Ayaka has said.”

Alice narrowed her eyes while looking at me, as if she was smiling.

“To obtain the nutrients essential for my body, drinking Dr. Pepper would be enough. But Min-san is very persistent, so sometimes I eat some vegetables as well.”

“So that’s why you don’t grow……”

“Where did your biased opinion that only tall people are good come from? I can list out fifty advantages for being a shorty and disadvantages of being tall, if you are willing to have a debate, I am always ready to accept the challenge.”

“No, sorry.”

I was just thinking about her height, which resulted in me mumbling to myself and getting heard.

“So do you depend on Min-san for your daily life?”

Alice raised her eyebrows.

“You’re really impolite, you know. I’ve already said that I’m a NEET detective, a NEET detective is an occupational detective! I have an actual income, and pay her for everything.”

“Eh, eh, but aren’t you a NEET?” aren’t all NEETs jobless?

“You misunderstood NEETs from a fundamental level. The second E in NEET is Employment, being employed by someone. My occupation is a personal enterprise, so I’m not employed. How other people view that would depend on themselves.”

How other people would view.

“…… Lifestyle huh?”

“In Hiro’s life, that is so. Turgenev might say call it the ending of an illusion, Dostoyevsky might call it hell, William Somerset Maugham might call it might call it reality, while Haruki Murakami might call it self. I use another name for it, but anyhow it’s unrelated to the matter of income.”

I have absolutely no idea what she is talking about, but the fact that the pajamas-clad girl earned money by being a detective is somewhat unbelievable. Which reminds me, she seems to be familiar with the usage of computers and the Internet.

“Your expression tells me that you don’t believe me. No matter, another man would come here in a moment for a request for my investigation, you’ll probably believe it after you’ve heard it.”

“…… Huh?”

At that moment, the doorbell rang as she had predicted. I turned my head around and looked at the door.

“Open the door.”

“Me?”

“It would be nice if the agency adds some other way to welcome guests besides the blue lights.”

As I walked to the entrance to open the door, I froze as there were three men outside the door. The young man in the middle was wearing a leather coat, looked slightly older than me, but his expression was wild like a wolf. The other two were flanking his sides, one was a man having muscles like a rocky mountain, the other was tall like an electric pole: the two were wearing the same gray hoodie.

“Who is this guy? Where’s Alice?”

The wolf said. It was as if I was pierced by his sharp gaze, my lips were trembling and unable to speak. At this moment, Alice’s voice came from inside the room:

“Oh, Yondaime, please come in.”

The two people behind the man who was called Yondaime said: “We’ll wait here.” And then I was dragged into the room. After the door was closed, the two men disappeared from my field of vision. At the moment when I was closing the door, I felt as if I was glared at, my hands holding the door handle was trembling.

“Narumi, get another can of Dr. Pepper.”

Alice’s voice finally peeled my hands off the door handle.

“Hey, who is that guy? Aren’t we going to talk about work later?”

When I handed the Dr. Pepper to Alice, Yondaime who was sitting beside the matress used his chin to point at me, and then turned around and said to me: “You get out for a moment.”

“Eh?”

Telling me to go outside the room to become best friends with the two bear-like bodyguards, and wait for you to finish discussing? What are you talking about!

“Yondaime, just think that there’s a high school student-shaped decoration here, relax and start the discussion.”

“Hey, Alice, are you joking? You should know that this isn’t something that you can let outsiders know!”

“It doesn’t matter, Narumi is only my assistant for today, I can guarantee that he would not speak of this to other people.”

I don’t even know when I’ve become an assistant.

“It’s not that.”

“If you’re so insistent, why don’t you talk so that outsiders wouldn’t understand? Your job has a lot of jargons anyway. If you would not want then, you can just request some other people.”

An awkward expression appeared on Yondaime’s face and he used his foot to kick the bedstead. Finally, he sighed and started to talk.

Indeed, I could not understand a thing, it was all a bunch of unknown nouns and verbs that you couldn’t understand. The ones that I could barely understand “deal with him when we catch him”, are the ones that I really don’t want to understand.

“Hmm.”

Alice finished listening to Yondaime’s explanation and finished drinking her second can of Dr. Pepper.

“I understand. Narumi, do you understand what he just said?”

I hastily shook my head.

“Is that so? Basically, someone is doing unknown drug dealing behind Yondaime’s back, so he requested me to help find out about the ways that they deal drugs.”

“What is the use of me talking like that when you explain it to him!” Yondaime flew into a rage, that was quite understandable. I felt somewhat happy and thought: Great, finally someone would teach her a lesson…… “What is with that happy look on your face!” Yondaime’s changed his target of anger to me. I could only retreat to the corridor and hid behind the fridge. “Well, as I had a big headache this morning, I wanted to enrage the first person who came in to vent my annoyace, whoever it was. Although Narumi was the first person to come in, but for some reason he is quite tolerant of it, and didn’t get angry at all.”

So she did all that in purpose!

“Coincidentally, the next person was you, so I vented my annoyance on you, so don’t mind it. If I did anything wrong, you’ll always get angry, and that’s why I like you the most.”

Alice stretched her legs out of the blanket and smiled sweetly. At this moment, I was totally defeated (Yondaime probably was, too). Yondaime hammered the blanket for some time, tried to say something but then stopped, and then he stood up.

“So are you willing to accept the request?”

“I accept it, just leave it all to me!”

“I will mail the details to you, goodbye.”

Yondaime walked to the corridor and dragged me out from the fridge. He caught hold of my left shoulder and applied force on it until his thumb almost sinked into my body.

“Ah, ouch…….” “I’ve remembered your face, and will find out about your address immediately. Listen closely, you didn’t hear anything just now. Is that clear?”

The wolfish eyes came close to my eyes, I could only nod while trembling.

“Answer me!”

“I…… I didn’t hear anything.”

Yondaime tossed me to the ground and walked out of the room.

“Are you alright?”

As I was huddled up on the floor out of exhaustion, Alice came over and asked me. So she can walk? I’ve thought that she had an illness that causes her to die if she leaves her bed.

“I just feel very tired.”

The words popped out of my mouth. This is my feelings about what had occurred the whole day.

“If I didn’t do so, I’m afraid you’ll still think that I’m a hikkikomori who’s over-reliant on the Internet. Don’t mind it!”

“No, I already understand clearly.”

Because of Ayaka, I stepped into an unbelievable world. Drug dealing, detectives and hackers, I had always hoped that these only exist in worlds that I don’t know.

“You just wanted me to understand your work, so you said nonsensically that I’m your assistant and that I’m tight-lipped……”

“That is not nonsense. You are indeed tight-lipped, I am sure of it.”

I raised my head and looked at Alice, she was smiling. This was the first time that we’ve met, why does she dare to say so?

“Hey, Narumi. The people who met me, each and very one of them would ask: ‘Are you really a NEET? Why would you become a NEET?’ and you are the first one who didn’t ask me this question.”

Adjusting to the height of my eyes, Alice squatted down.

“Although it might be because you’re thoughtless or uncaring, but I --- we NEETs would be extremely happy. Instead of pitying us, ignoring us would be better. Why would we become NEETs, this question shouldn’t even been asked. Because there is only one reason – it is written on our page of God’s Memo Pad: ‘We lose when we work.’ There is no other reason.”

“…… God’s Memo Pad?”

“Isn’t this statement so irresponsible that it’s great?”

Placing her hands and chin on her knees, Alice said while smiling:

“What the word NEET really means, is actually not ‘Someone who doesn’t know how to do anything’, and not ‘Someone who doesn’t want to do anything’.”

*

Holding the empty bowl on the plate while walking out of the NEET Detective Agency, I saw that it was completely dark outside already. The starlight was hidden by the piercing lights on the earth, and could not be seen. The ramen shop below had become extremely crowded, you could hear laughter and angry shouts coming from there.

After I went down the ladder, I found Yondaime sitting on the seat that was specially reserved for NEETs that I was sitting on just now. Tetsu-senpai, Major, Hiro and Yondaime surrounded the wooden table, and looked like they were doing something together. You could hear the clear tinkle of a bell-like sound from far away.

“Sou-san! Didn’t you say that you’d just play for five minutes!”

The bodyguard, Rocky, who was standing behind Yondaime was shouting angrily by Yondaime’s ears.

“Shut up, how I go back when I’m in a losing streak! Tetsu, hurry up and throw already!”

“Okay, four five and six.”

“Impossible!”

A large bundle of money was on the bowl, so they’re playing a game of dices. Do these four know each other?

“Fujishima-kun, Min-san made a new ice cream, do you want to try some?”

Ayaka ran out holding an ice cream cone. While licking the ice cream which was giving out a fragrant aroma, I listened to the dice tinkling along in the bowl. Yondaime was shouting with his whole face red, throwing his cash on the bowl like a ninja throwing knives. Looking at this situation, I couldn’t help but feel – somewhat happy.

*

On the way home, the streetlights on the street was very dim. Ayaka, who was walking in front of me, turned her head over and said:

“I’m so sorry, I said that I wanted to have a welcome party for you, but coincidentally the shop was busy……”

Which reminds me, I don’t think I’ve talked much with Ayaka today at the shop. There were so many customers that even I helped to deliver.

“Oh yeah, did you see Alice?”

“Yeah…… She’s an oddball.” I couldn’t say anything else about her.

“But today was really unbelievable. There are indeed a lot of interesting people behind the ramen shop, but its rare that all of them are present like today! You’re so lucky, Fujishima-kun.”

“Does that count as lucky?”

Indeed, the people who I’ve met today and the faces that I’ve seen has far exceeded my brain capacity, but I still remembered all of them. Tetsu-senpai, Min-san, Major, Hiro, Alice and Yondaime.

“It would be even better if brother could come.”

Brother?

“After my brother left school, he became a NEET. He usually went to the ramen shop to hang out with Tetsu-senpai and the others. But recently he doesn’t even go home, or go to the shop. I couldn’t even reach his phone.”

“You can’t really say that all of those who hang out there don’t have a job……?”

A horrible illusion came upon me. When I leave school someday, would I be like them?

Ayaka turned over her head and said: “Did you ever think of leaving school?”

“Everyday.”

Under the streetlight, an unidentifiable expression appeared on Ayaka’s face.

“…… Even now?”

I was momentarily speechless. Being unable to immediately answer this question is indeed strange.

Ayaka gazed sincerely at me.

I averted her gaze and lied: “Now…… I don’t want to……. Probably!”

“Is that so.” A gentle smile appeared on Ayaka’s face.

“But I think you don’t need to lie right now.”

I stopped walking, speechless, and Ayaka stopped too. We were standing coincidentally in the middle of two streetlights, our shadows interlaced together on the asphalt road.

“…… Why?”

I could only say this one word. Why? How did she know that I was lying?

“Because…… It was originally my place.” Ayaka said. “It was because there were no other members that I entered the gardening club. So in this case, I’m your senior for about half a year!”

I pondered the reason why Ayaka can smile while saying such a thing. Because she is different from me, and can chat with the other students in our class as if nothing had happened, it seemed as natural as breathing.

Hearing me speak of my true thoughts, she showed me an even more transparent smile which was like glass.

“It’s really simple, you could do it too. Shout when you’re angry like the others, and laugh when you’re happy like the others, speak your mind when you want something.”

I lowered my head, and thought repeatedly about what Ayaka meant by her words. I still don’t get it. I just felt that her words was like a busybody, although its contents completely suits my current situation.

After we crossed the bridge, Ayaka and I said goodbye to each other.

Looking at the silhouette of Ayaka running towards the station, I thought of a scene when she was shouting or laughing like the others. Isn’t that just pushing herself? Doe she mean that I should do that to? Forcing myself to talk to the other students, forcing myself to smile

I wish that she would not care about me anymore. I just couldn’t do what she said.

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