Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume25 Chapter6

Fortunate Interview

Part 1

The new week brought annoying rumors.

"… student council elections."

"I knew Touko-san would … "

"She's so reckless."

Each individual whisper was quiet, but when they were all added up it made them easy to hear. The excited chatter about last night's TV shows, so loud it could be heard out in the hallway, was far less irritating.

That said, if she were asked if she'd rather be insulted directly, then she'd probably say no, since that came with its own set of problems. If she got fed up with pretending to ignore them, she could always confront them directly.

(So moronic.)

If only recess would end soon. Touko turned a page of her book. And with that, she felt depressed that her own time was going to waste.

If the words on the page had made their way into her brain then she wouldn't have called it a waste of time, but she couldn't just shut out everything and concentrate on her book when her name was being whispered around.

So, regardless of whether she took in the words or not, when her eyes reached the last row of text she turned the page. By keeping up her, "I don't care at all about the rumors," act, Touko was at least able to retain some of her pride.

(Ah.)

Noriko returned to the classroom and walked past Touko's desk. After the election, she would look at Touko as though she had something she wanted to say, but she hadn't yet said anything.

Has she finally given up?

That was to be expected. Touko was just paying for her own mistakes.

She was frankly amazed that Noriko was still willing to be seen with her.

She still felt an empty hole in her chest.

Touko understood that this was her reward for picking apart the threads that bound them together, one by one.

Why was it that she always did this sort of thing?

If she was just a bit more honest, she probably wouldn't hurt herself and others as much.

"Hey, is that any way to be talking about one of your classmates?"

The loud voice coming from behind her brought Touko back from the hole in her heart to the first-year camellia group classroom.

"Aren't you ashamed about getting together to spread malicious rumors?"

The moment she realized that the conversation was about their behavior towards her, Touko instinctively turned around. Expecting Noriko to be the speaker.

But she was wrong. Noriko was sitting at her desk, a short distance away, also staring in amazement at the center of the commotion.

"Don't you think it's a bit late to be the good little girl? Last week, you were saying you wanted Touko to lose the election too."

The maligned students hit back, not backing down. The two arguing parties had, indeed, been in agreement last week. Attacking Touko, ignoring Touko, they were both the same thing.

"What was it that you said again?"

Pressed by her former comrades, the classmate who came to Touko's aid acknowledged her own crimes as she responded:

"While I may have called her reckless, Touko-san gave it her all in the election. You must have seen the effort she put in too? All on her own? It was incredible. It made me feel ashamed of myself. I asked myself, as her classmate, why didn't I help her? Why didn't our whole class unite behind her?"

Then, from within the group of gossipers, a couple of voices piped up, endorsing this opinion with, "Me too." There was internal discord.

"Look, I like Touko-san as a person. But if she wanted our support, shouldn't she have discussed it with the class before running off and nominating herself?"

"Isn't that a problem with our class not providing the right environment for such a discussion?"

"Oh, so now you're saying that we're the problem?"

The argument between the two factions gradually started to heat up. Even though Touko herself had never wanted this to happen.

If she'd wanted them to argue, it would have been over some other topic – having the fight be about her made it more of a nuisance.

Fed up with this, Touko turned to face the front and found someone standing in front of her desk.

"Unforeseen repercussions are a pain, aren't they?"

Kanako-san smiled, gently shifting her long hair so it didn't spill onto the desk. She was tall at the best of times, and Touko was seated, so she was quite the imposing sight.

"What do you know?"

Touko responded. Kanako-san's know-it-all air was a bit annoying, but it was ten, no a hundred times less annoying than the people arguing behind her.

"Nothing. But you're making that face. You were annoyed that someone would speak out like that. And now you're fed up with it."

"That's quite observant of you. I'm impressed."

Touko said with just a touch of sarcasm. Implying that Kanako-san must have a lot of free time, to be able to study each and every person's face.

But Kanako-san completely missed the sarcasm. Or maybe she got it, but chose to ignore it.

"Well, since you're complimenting me, I'll let you in on something. When you're reading a book, it looks more realistic if you subtly vary your pace every so often."

"Huh?"

"Normally, you'd stop when you got a kanji character mixed up, or you'd have to re-read some difficult passages, right?"

Indeed. Basically, she was telling Touko that she'd seen through her "reading a book" act. Kanako-san grinned and walked back to her own seat.

"That was informative."

With a nod, Touko closed her book. In truth, she didn't have to put a bookmark in there, but she thought that it made it look more realistic.

The argument behind her continued until the bell rang and their teacher entered the classroom.

Part 2

After school.

She went to the clubhouse for the first time in a while, and in the drama club's clubroom she spotted the club president.

"Ah, Touko-chan."

"… Gokigenyou. I apologize for my prolonged absence."

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Ah, it's a shame about the election."

"No … "

Touko glanced at the calendar hanging from the wall to confirm her suspicions. As she'd expected, there were no club activities scheduled for today.

The club president was seated at a desk, writing something. It could probably be summed up as "solo overtime." Touko only got a quick look at the document, but it seemed to be some form that had to be submitted to the Yamayurikai council.

None of the rooms in the clubhouse were all that big. For the larger clubs, it wasn't possible to fit all their members in the room, so they used classrooms or gymnasiums for club activities. The drama club was one of those clubs – their clubroom was used as an office and a storeroom.

"Well, regardless of the result, it's the experience that's important. Even when you've forgotten about it, it may still prove useful to you at some point. You'll be able to broaden your acting skills."

"Like, in a political drama?"

Touko smirked – there weren't many high-school plays around that theme.

"Sounds good. How about a role as a female senator?"

How about it? Touko didn't respond, she simply nodded and said, "Hah."

"All sorts of things were decided while you were away, Touko-chan. I wanted you to hear about some of it prior to tomorrow's club activities, so I'm glad we met today."

The club president stopped filling out the form and set it to one side on the desk.

"The drama club has decided to put on a performance for the Third-Years' Send-Off, but – "

"President."

Touko interrupted her.

"I came here today to get a resignation form."

It was better if someone about to leave the club was not informed of their future activities. She'd planned on saying goodbye properly after filling out the resignation form, but with things the way they were she had to say something.

" … What are you saying?"

The club president stood up, the color draining from her face.

"So you see."

She cast her gaze across to the cabinet in the corner of the room, which should hold the resignation forms. It should be in either the second or third drawer, alongside the "application to join" and "participation in a training camp" forms.

"I don't understand. Does this have something to do with your loss in the student council election?"

As she said this, the club president nonchalantly moved in front of the cabinet. Surely she wasn't thinking that the first-year club member in front of her would force her way over to the cabinet and snatch a resignation form, so she was probably just trying to hide it from Touko's sight.

"No, it's for personal reasons."

She probably wasn't going to accept such a vague explanation. Typically, people would say it was for personal reasons when the actual reason was hard to say.

But, if she was asked if there was something concrete preventing her from doing club activities, Touko wouldn't be able to offer a clear answer.

She liked to act.

But, right now, practicing acting was hard on her. Her father wanted her to live her life as she pleased. But doing what she wanted made her feel guilty, like she was tearing her family apart.

And now her mother was mentally unstable on occasion. Touko wanted to reset things, and think them over more carefully next time.

But she couldn't quite find the words to express that.

"If you're not getting along with some of the older club members, I have some ideas about that."

"Huh? Ideas?"

It was hardly the first time that she wasn't getting along with some of the other members. But, alas, those seniors she didn't get along with weren't enough to make Touko leave the club.

"There's not much time before the third-years' send-off, so we've decided to split into three groups and perform three short scenes. You and me are doing a two-person play. What do you think? Doesn't that sound exciting?"

"Uh … yeah."

Even though she planned on resigning, she was still getting a little excited. It wasn't just about this two-person play – deciding on a new program always got her heart pounding.

It was like setting some ingredients down in front of a chef and saying, "Why don't you make something with these?"

And then the rehearsals.

She liked the rehearsals too. Repeating the same scenes over and over, until she didn't know whether she was the chef or the ingredients, then serving it up in the actual performance as a piping hot meal. Here you go, eat my magnificent dish.

"Right now, I'm looking for a script that will suit you. One that will let you showcase your acting ability to its utmost – that's the sort of play I want us to do."

The club president's eyes shone as she spoke, and looking at her Touko thought, "She and I are the same." She loved drama, and was always focused on doing whatever it took to put on a good performance, doing whatever it took to ensure both the audience and the cast enjoyed themselves. That was probably why she got along with someone as socially maladjusted as Touko herself. Of course, she had her own talents too.

"You're doing all this for me … "

But it would all be in vain if Touko resigned.

"Touko-chan. Even after I've stepped down, I want you to show up and participate in the drama club."

"Uh … ?"

"I plan on taking entrance exams next year, so I'll be stepping down relatively early. When that happens, you may find yourself isolated within the club. So I thought that the day may come when you'd talk about quitting the club."

The club president let out a long sigh.

"Even on your own, you should have a part to play. Even if it annoys the other club members, you shouldn't have to hide your talent. That would be our drama club's loss, and I think it would be such a shame for you too. It'd be better if you were the next club president, and pulled everyone forwards. You could leave the boring management stuff to someone else, and focus on planning and production. Or devote yourself entirely to acting. However you want it to be. But stay in the club, and act. There's so much that the other club members can learn from you. That's why I don't want you to quit."

(Ahh – )

Even though she'd come to the clubhouse determined to quit, her heart was thumping with excitement at the vision of the future that the club president was painting.

How good would it be if that came to pass?

But it probably wouldn't turn out that well. Touko's relationship with the other club members wasn't particularly good by any standard. Even if the current second-years stepped down at the same time as the club president, it wasn't like it would all be settled then. She didn't have a wonderful relationship with her fellow first-year club members either.

Given that, this was a dream. An ephemeral dream, given to her by Maria-sama, as she resigned from the club.

"Therefore."

The club president said something completely unexpected.

"Be my petit soeur."

"Huh?"

Despite Touko's surprise, the club president kept talking.

"If you're the club president's petit soeur, you won't be as easy a target, right? Even next year, after I've stepped down, you'll still be the petit soeur of the former club president – the effect won't wear off that quickly."

Her speech came to a halt, as though it had been cut off mid-way through, or completely drowned out.

"But, I."

In that moment, Touko had no idea how to respond. She had never once considered the possibility of the club president being her onee-sama.

Looking at a floundering Touko, the club president suddenly smiled and asked:

"Fukuzawa Yumi-san?"

"Mm … "

"I thought as much. You like Yumi-san, don't you?"

Touko couldn't answer that question.

"I can tell, because I'm always looking at you the way you're looking at Yumi-san."

Not answering was the same as providing an answer. Even so, Touko was afraid of putting it into words, of expressing that outwardly.

"Yumi-san's a wonderful person. So I thought it would be great if you could become her petit soeur and find your happiness that way. That's why I've never said anything until now. But every time you get close to Yumi-san, you get hurt and back away. It's strange. Even though she's always unarmed, never holding a knife or anything like that."

That was exactly right.

Yumi-sama wasn't at fault. Touko would flail around with the weapons she used for self-defense and end up slashing herself and shedding blood. And on occasion, she'd hurt her opponent too.

"I'm sure the problem lies with me."

"I know. It's true. If you don't change, you'll never be able to walk with Yumi-san."

She had no way to respond to that. There was no need to either.

The club president wasn't chastising Touko, or urging her on. She was simply looking at it from a step removed, and saying what she thought.

"But if it were that easy to change oneself, no-one would ever suffer."

The club president smiled. Touko smiled too. That was true.

But Touko didn't really know if she actually wanted to change herself.

"It's so painful watching you suffer."

The club president put her arm around Touko's shoulders and pulled her closer.

"Just forget about Yumi-san already. I'll look out for you."

Touko closed her eyes in that gentle embrace.

Life would probably be easier if she agreed. Nothing to worry about, nothing to yearn for. She would probably be able to lead a quiet life.

"… Touko-chan?"

However, Touko quietly extricated herself from the club president's inviting arms.

"I'm sorry."

She couldn't decide right now. There was no way she could choose the club president just to cut off all contact with Yumi-sama.

"I see."

The club president sighed, "I figured as much." Then she turned around and took a piece of paper out of one of the cabinet drawers.

"Here."

She was holding out a club resignation form.

"… President."

"Don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying I recommend this, or even that I approve of it."

When Touko was reluctant to accept it, the club president folded the B5-sized piece of paper in half and forced it into her hand.

"Think of it like a charm. Then, when you feel up to it, carry it with you and come to club activities. You'll feel a bit better knowing you can quit at any time, right?"

Then the club president added, "I'll be waiting for you," which Touko gratefully accepted.

"Of course, you don't have to be mindful of me. When you want to use the form, use it. Although I'd be overjoyed if you didn't. But there are all sorts of "personal reasons.""

Then the club president sat down in her chair, and picked up the form she'd been working on earlier.

Touko bowed deeply and left the clubhouse.

Since it looked like the club president wanted to be alone – her face down, concentrating on the paperwork.

In that case, Touko thought that the sooner she disappeared the better.

Part 3

"Touko."

As she walked out the school gate, a voice from behind called her to a stop. Turning around, she saw her cousin Kashiwagi Suguru.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm lying in wait for you."

Suguru-onii-sama stopped leaning against the wall and stood up properly.

"I was worried you might have gone home already."

He said, "What a relief," and patted her head, but Touko shook him off and said, "Not that."

"Ah, you mean, what am I doing without my car?"

Touko couldn't understand why he was completely missing what she intended and responding with an absurdity.

"My car stands out so I left it behind. Especially in that gorgeous color."

"…"

Completely oblivious to the fact that he was just as conspicuous as his beloved car.

A black overcoat covering his tall body, a bright red scarf wrapped around his neck, worn-out boots peeking out from beneath his jeans. She didn't know what style of fashion this was, but the authentic sunglasses tied it all together wonderfully.

There were about eighteen girls over by the bus stop, and they kept glancing this way. Just then a bus pulled up and opened its door, but they showed no signs of getting on board.

"That sort of thing doesn't bother me. What I wanted to know was, why were you lying in wait for me – "

After saying this much, Touko had a sudden realization.

"Did something happen at home!?"

"Nothing's happened. Your mom's in fine health."

Examining her cousin's unconcerned face, Touko let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay. That's good."

On reflection, if there had been some sort of incident at home, her family wouldn't have employed the clumsy technique of asking Suguru-onii-sama to wait for her outside the school gate, instead they would have contacted the school directly and asked them to keep her there so they could pick her up.

"I came to talk with you."

"Talk? With me?"

"Yeah."

Touko thought that, in that case, he was better off waiting for her at her home, instead of laying an ambush in this cold. Then, as though he could see exactly what she was thinking, he said:

"Your parents would be worried if I went out of my way to visit you."

"I see."

It had been Suguru-onii-sama that had come to pick her up when she ran away from home. He'd also been the one to visit the Fukuzawa household to express their thanks.

Her mom and dad were undoubtedly grateful to him, but his presence would bring back memories of Touko running away from home. There hadn't been any problems when he'd brought over a souvenir from his ski trip, but if he made another visit to have a "talk" then her mom would probably be put on guard.

"And so? Where are we going to talk?"

Touko surveyed the area.

"I'm in my school uniform, so we can't go to a cafe near here."

That said, she couldn't exactly bring a young man onto the grounds of a girls' school either. She didn't know what he wanted to talk about, but it would be odd to suggest just standing there. And because Suguru-onii-sama hadn't driven here, if they were going to go somewhere else, they'd have to go by bus. She could just picture it – her and this "stranger" getting on the same bus as those girls who'd been looking at her questioningly – and it wasn't pretty.

"For now, let's walk."

"Walk?"

Suguru-onii-sama then immediately started walking, leaving behind a bewildered Touko.

"Where are we walking to?"

"Over there."

He said, looking over his shoulder, and Touko decided she had no choice but to follow after him.

The footpath alongside the busway wasn't wide enough for two people to walk abreast, so he probably wasn't intending to have their talk while walking.

Still not knowing what their final destination was, Touko followed along, her gaze fixed on her cousin's wide, jet-black coat.

Naturally, she knew the scenery that spread out on both sides of the street. Since she always looked at it from on the bus. But since her vantage point had changed, it all looked slightly off.

For example, she hadn't noticed the small Buddha statues on both sides of the road until now. Or the weathered advertisements on the telephone poles. Or how the street signs that served as bus stop markers differed from the neighborhood street signs.

But even though she knew these things today, that didn't necessarily mean that they would be useful to her in the future. Of course, this was unrelated to "broadening her acting ability." But even so, she was glad she had learned of them, instead of remaining ignorant. There was no reason behind it, just a feeling.

As they walked, Touko constructed a mental map of their route.

If they kept going straight ahead, they'd reach a family restaurant.

(Maybe that's where onii-sama's going.)

But in that case, he should have asked whether family restaurants were okay when Touko ruled out cafes.

Maybe there was a public park that Touko didn't know about in one of the side streets. They could sit on a bench and talk, but in this cold weather, and with dusk imminent, that seemed brutal. For one thing, it seemed too out of character for Suguru-onii-sama.

In this manner, Touko focused her thoughts solely on what their destination could be. She didn't spare a thought for what he came to talk to her about. It could be her mother, or her grandfather's hospital. As an older relative, he probably had something he wanted to say.

"We're here."

Suguru-onii-sama stopped abruptly and Touko unintentionally rammed into his back.

"Here?"

"Yep, here."

It wasn't a family restaurant or a park. It was a completely ordinary parking garage.

"It can't be."

"But it is."

Suguru-onii-sama took his car keys out of his pocket and held them up at her eye level.

"I thought you left your car behind because it stands out?"

"It would stand out in front of a girls' school, so I left it here."

Smirking, Suguru-onii-sama entered the parking garage. Touko followed after him and, sure enough, their destination was where that familiar bright red car was parked.

"Come on, get in."

Touko's cousin opened the front passenger's door and urged her inside. She had no reason to refuse, and it was pretty cold, so she chose to obediently climb in.

She hesitated for a moment, worried that her uniform may be conspicuous in the front seat, but even if the school found out and she was reprimanded, they would also quickly discover that the driver was her cousin, plus it would be hard to have a conversation with the driver if she was in the back seat.

After settling into the driver's seat, her cousin took off his sunglasses and said:

"I'll take you home."

After paying the parking fee, the red car slipped out of the gate.

"So? What did you want to talk about?"

"There's something I wanted to ask you."

"Something you wanted to ask me?"

Not something he wanted to tell her? Touko considered this. In that case, he probably wasn't going to lecture her or advise her about something to do with home.

"My cousin, looking like he knows everything in the world, wants to ask me something?"

Touko chuckled, a tiny bit amused.

"Don't make fun. My knowledge is of no importance. There's a lot in this world that I don't know – a world full of things, in fact."

Tick, tick, tick. The car blinker beat out a steady rhythm.

"It's about what happened at Christmas."

Suguru-onii-sama said, while changing lanes. Touko's heart skipped a beat when she heard the word "Christmas."

"Why did you say those things to Yumi-chan?"

"Those things?"

Touko asked, after a slight pause, but of course she remembered. She didn't feel as though it was necessary for her to divulge these details. She didn't know how her cousin had found out about it. He may have been bluffing, to get her to reveal this information.

"I don't understand your feelings, Touko. You like Yumi-chan."

Since he said that, he probably knew the crux of the matter.

"Who told you?"

She asked, meaning about the events that happened on Christmas. Was it Yumi-sama herself, or Sachiko-onee-sama, or perhaps one of the other guests at the Christmas party in the Rose Mansion.

At any rate, if Yumi-sama had told someone, then it probably stood to reason that it would have leaked to him sooner or later. There was no seal on peoples' mouths.

"Who told me?"

However, Suguru-onii-sama seemed to have misunderstood her question.

"I can see it in your face."

"You can see it in my face? That's not very persuasive."

The drama club president had said something similar.

(You like Yumi-san, don't you?)

Even so, that was only intuition. Without evidence, there could be no proof.

The traffic light ahead turned orange. Suguru-onii-sama pressed down on the brakes and gently came to a stop behind the car in front. Then a group of students on bikes crossed in front of them at the pedestrian crossing.

"Then let me ask you something. Why didn't you go to Canada last summer?"

"Huh?"

"You changed your plans when you heard Yumi-chan was going to the Ogasawara's holiday house."

"Who'd do that?"

She thought she could laugh off this unfounded rumor. But her cousin continued, unperturbed.

"I was just remembering something aunty told me. You declared you didn't want to go to Canada when you heard that Sacchan was taking her little sister to their villa. When I first heard that I thought you were jealous of Yumi-chan and wanted to go to the holiday home to interfere with them. But thinking about it now, I've changed my mind. You went because you were worried about Yumi-chan."

"What are – "

"You knew that the girls there were dangerous. That they didn't care when they were harassing someone."

Touko laughed. So idiotic.

"Is there something strange about me going to the holiday house?"

"Whether it was strange or not, you were worried. So much so that you couldn't jet off to a distant country."

The light turned green. The car slipped into gear.

The pair were silent for a little while. Touko didn't confirm or deny her cousin's theory, instead idly watching the flow of traffic around them and the cars coming towards them in the opposite lane.

After a couple hundred metres her cousin suddenly opened his mouth and said:

" … So that's it. You were afraid that Yumi-chan would suffer the same sort of bullying that you had."

Apparently that was the conclusion he'd drawn after thinking about it during their silence, for her cousin's profile was unusually terrifying.

"Was it Kyougoku, Ayanokouji, or Saionji? Who was it, when, and what did they say?"

"Onii-sama … "

Touko felt fear. Her usually gentle and smiling cousin was now looking at something with furious anger.

"Onii-sama."

"I never noticed. Until the moment you ran away from home, I believed you didn't know a thing."

He stepped on the accelerator. Their speed rose. The gap to the car in front narrowed. If things kept going like this, Touko thought they were likely to crash into it.

"Onii-sama, I gotta pee!"

Touko screamed.

"Uh."

"Please, stop somewhere that has a bathroom! Ah, that fast food place is fine. They've got a parking lot. Come on, turn left, put the indicator on. Hurry."

"Uh, ahh."

Still in shock, her cousin followed Touko's instructions and turned left. As soon as the car had come to a temporary stop in the parking lot, she undid her seat-belt and climbed out.

"I'll be back after I've used the toilet, so find somewhere to park and wait for me."

In truth, she didn't need to go to the toilet. But that was the only excuse she could come up with to go the fast food store.

Once inside, she asked one of the employees where the toilet was, then went in and washed her hands only. She hadn't noticed it, but they were drenched in sweat.

The cold water felt good.

Touko looked at her reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath.

The ringlets she was so proud of were somewhat in disarray, but she felt as though that was no big deal.

"I did think about getting you coffee."

Touko handed a take-away cup of cola to her cousin, who had been sitting alone in the car, with the engine off, waiting for her.

"No, this is fine. Good choice."

"It's because I wanted to drink it too."

Cola was something that she wasn't that familiar with – she only drank it about once a year. But when she got thirsty, she started to crave this sort of thing. If it was like that for Touko, it was probably even more so for Suguru-onii-sama.

Her excuse for buying the drink was that it felt awkward to go into a store just to use their toilet.

Touko wanted some time for her cousin to cool down. She thought they'd be better off finishing their conversation now, while stopped, than ending up in another situation like before.

"That'll be 1000 yen."

"Talk about price gouging."

"If you don't want it, that's fine. I can drink two."

Suguru-onii-sama quickly took a sip through the straw, then fished a 1000 yen note out of his wallet and offered it to her, saying, "Here."

"This tastes good."

"Yeah."

Then they drank their cola in silence for a little while.

"Touko."

"What?"

"Thanks for before … if you hadn't made me stop, it could have turned dangerous."

He'd returned to his usual self.

"Thanks to you too. I made it to the toilet in time."

"That so?"

"Yep."

Touko nodded, and Suguru-onii-sama patted her on the head. Paying no attention to her hairdo. But his large hand felt good, so she didn't shake him off.

After drinking his cola, Suguru-onii-sama removed the plastic lid and poured the ice into his mouth. The sound of quiet crunching echoed around the car.

"Onii-sama."

"Mm?"

"It wasn't that big a shock to me."

The sound of crunching ice stopped momentarily.

"Not really. I already knew before they said that to me anyway."

Touko didn't know what had caused it, but one summer those three girls started harassing her. They were probably jealous about some trivial matter – like Sachiko-onee-sama giving her something because they were relatives, or the pair of them going shopping together.

But Touko wasn't particularly interested in being friends with those three girls. They probably would have been satisfied if she'd cried and said, "Please let's be friends," but since she didn't, they'd avoided visiting her for a couple of days.

Then one day one of them came over, looking triumphant. She prefaced what she was saying with, "My mom told me not to say anything because it's so sad for Touko-san." The girl tried her best to look compassionate, but as she talked it was obvious that her eyes, lips and nostrils – every part of her face – was filled with glee.

"And when I responded with, "So what?" her face went bright red and she looked furious. But that was a long time ago. I've even forgotten who it was. That's why – "

Touko looked straight at Suguru-onii-sama.

"You don't have to get angry on my behalf, onii-sama."

"Touko … "

Suguru-onii-sama mumbled, before lapsing into silence. The shock he'd received had retreated, but he still looked like he was searching for the right words to say.

Eventually, he crushed his take-away cup and said:

"I just want you to be happy."

"About what?"

As she asked, she slurped the last of her cola through the straw. Some of the ice had melted, which thinned the flavor.

"It may just be my imagination, but it looks to me like you run away from the happiness that's right in front of you. Like with Yumi-chan – "

"That's already over. There's no point rehashing it."

Touko interrupted him loudly. He seemed a bit surprised but quickly smiled and agreed.

"Okay, I'll stop."

He turned the key and the engine came to life. Touko returned the cups to the bag they were in when she bought them. One was completely empty so it was tossed in casually. The other was placed upright, so the melting ice wouldn't leak out. After fastening her seatbelt, the car moved forwards slowly.

They turned left out of the fast-food car park and returned to the bus route. Suguru-onii-sama gave the car that let them in a friendly toot of the horn and they gradually picked up speed.

Joining the flow of cars.

Each car was moving separately, and had their own driver, but it brought to mind the image of a bamboo-leaf boat floating down a river.

Suguru-onii-sama didn't speak, but he wasn't focused solely on driving. It looked like he wasn't going to say anything because Touko had cut short their conversation.

With their talk over, her thoughts turned in on themselves. The words that her cousin said about "Yumi-chan" ran through her head like a refrain.

Like with Yumi-chan.

Like with Yumi-chan.

Like with Yumi-chan –

Unable to stand it any longer, Touko opened her mouth.

"So, you're saying I should have accepted her rosary back then? There's no way I could have done that."

She brought it up again, even though she had said there was no point rehashing it.

Her cousin stayed silent and drove. For a full ten seconds, he seemed to be slowly piecing together what to say.

" – You're saying … Yumi-chan chose you as her petit soeur?"

"Why are you acting all surprised now?"

After he'd chastised her for it.

"I had no idea. I knew something happened between you and Yumi-chan at Christmas, but I didn't know the details. So I bluffed, and went fishing for info."

"That's such an obvious lie."

Obviously, he'd heard this from Sachiko-onee-sama. But despite that, he was pretending that this was the first time he'd heard about it.

"Why are you so suspicious of other people?"

"Should I believe everyone? If they're just going to betray me, it's better not to believe them in the first place."

Touko screeched hysterically.

"You're wrong. You say you don't believe, but deep in your heart you want to. You run away, but then you wait for them to chase after you."

"Yeah, right."

They overtook a bus parked at the bus stop.

"But if you keep running away like this, eventually they'll get tired and no-one will chase after you."

Touko was enraged by this and shouted, "Stop!" But her cousin didn't comply with her wishes.

"You were the one that brought it up, and now you're getting all angry."

She knew that.

"I'm feeling carsick. You're driving too aggressively."

She was in the wrong. But even so, she wanted to deflect the blame.

"Wha – everyone's been saying I've got a lot better recently."

He muttered to himself, sounding senile, but he didn't show any sign of slowing down or turning off the road.

"Whatever, hurry up and stop. I'll get on that bus over there."

She looked back over her shoulder, and the bus that she thought they'd just passed was already tiny.

"No can do."

Her cousin wasn't giving in to Touko's selfishness.

"I'll throw up."

"Fine. You can take the cups out of the bag and use that."

"Alright, I will."

She wanted to get back at her unkind cousin so she thought she would throw up, and raised the bag to her mouth – but since she wasn't actually feeling carsick that wasn't so easy to do. Her stomach had its own thoughts on the matter.

"You don't understand what I'm feeling."

With tears in her eyes, and without vomiting, she lowered the bag. The ice that had melted into water, and the still frozen ice, made a soft sound as it sloshed around.

"You're right. I said that before, didn't I? I don't understand your feelings, Touko."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"I know. Then, what? You want sympathy from me?"

She got goosebumps just imagining it – "Ah, how sad. What a poor little child."

"That would be the one thing I'd hate the most."

"I'll bet. That's why you've been frantically putting on this performance."

There was no doubt that he was antagonizing her. But even when he was antagonizing her, it still felt good to know that someone understood her mind.

This person understood. Therefore, she didn't have to wear a mask in front of them.

"Everybody's criticizing me."

"People other than me have said something to you?"

Touko nodded and her cousin said:

"I'm sure it's because they love you."

"They criticize me because they love me? I don't get it."

Touko sighed, then looked out the window. At some point their car had turned off the bus route and was now driving down a highway.

She wasn't going to get on a train, so they weren't going to the train station. In the end, it looked like she was going to get driven home in Suguru-onii-sama's car.

Nothing she could do about that.

Even though she'd finished compulsory education, she was still a helpless child.

Even though she'd run away from home, she was still a naive little girl with no way to support herself, and had to return home after half a day, and she was treated like an outsider with regards to her grandfather's hospital.

She could cry and stamp her feet, but she couldn't change anything.

But despite all this, she was being told to do her best to find happiness?

Even though she'd brought misfortune on those around her by thinking only of herself?

Could that really be called happiness?

"That's true."

Suguru-onii-sama suddenly laughed.

"There's a world full of things that you don't understand."

They left the freeway and entered a residential area.

She could see the stars between familiar buildings.

The stars looked like they were laughing too.

"What I don't understand is, why would my cousin go out of his way to ambush me, and drive me all the way home?"

Touko asked, as the car slowed down. Very soon now, the Matsudaira house would pop into view.

"I told you, I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah. But what I want to know is, was our conversation really worth that much to you?"

"It was. I struck gold."

Touko pondered whether this was true or not as she undid her seatbelt. She didn't want her parents to read too much into it, so she didn't invite Suguru-onii-sama in. For the same reason, Touko left the fast food bag in his car. He'd have to take that with him back to his home, but there was no helping that.

Touko picked up her bag and exited the car. She didn't think the sound would carry over this distance, but she closed the door as softly as possible, so as not to disturb her mother in the house.

She walked around past the driver's seat and Suguru-onii-sama said:

"I just wanted to find out what happened with you and Yumi-chan."

"… Why would you want to know that?"

Touko looked puzzled.

"If you think about it hard enough, I'm sure you'll understand."

The red car slipped quietly away, down the suburban street.

From this distance, it looked like a toy car.

The stars twinkled.

"If I think about it … "

Touko mumbled, then turned towards home and started walking.

It seemed unbelievable that all her earlier sweating, arguing and screaming had taken place in such a tiny box.

Even though she was so small, she was worrying about becoming an adult.

The stars would undoubtedly find this amusing.

– Such were her thoughts.

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