MaruMAːShort-shortsːMurakenzu2018-11-13
Murakenzu 2018-11-13[edit]
by Takabayashi Tomo
Note: this story is related to Drama CD 72, available in youtube with subs.
"Hello! Good evening, welcome to Combi-bania[1] Family! This is Murata, who's also good at playing with the Murakenzu Doll house!"
"I'm Shibuya, who's bad at it... no, I mean.. I do like cats. But the main characters are a family of rabbits, right?"
"Oh, that's bad, Majesty Yuu-kun! That's because you don't have the 'universal' sense. In this day and age, anyone can be the protagonist."
"It's fine, I don't wanna talk about 'universe' stories! And also, because I don't have a younger brother who's a hikkikomori in a cockpit[2]! But forget about that, the other day when we 'leaked' to Shin Makoku, a major incident happened. For someone like me, who has never read the weekly magazines at the convenience store, I couldn't believe they would leak such a scandalous photograph in a sports newspaper. "
"Yeah, revenge porn."
"No, rather than revenge, I'd say it was a 'factions' problem. Despite being the championship, because of that humiliation they couldn't advance in the 'Day Series'[3]. But putting that aside, I personally don't think it was done out of revenge. And even though I didn't know what it was about, the title definitely did said: "Announcement- This is fascinating! ☆ Three secret photographs taken from his majesty the maou's bedroom, no, well, because his majesty is so young, it's just for safety reasons, will be printed in the next issue so stay tuned", and so Wolfram and I were pondering what could be printed. Then, Conrad being Conrad, said if you're worried I'll call the publisher and tell them to stop, I'll make it in time, so don't worry, and left the room smiling big and wide."
"I see, because he's always smiling refreshingly like Alesi whose girlfriend was the old 'Gokumi'[4]."
"Yeah, my father was talking about it, and she's still being called 'Gokumi', huh? At any rate, even if he was smiling way too much, his footsteps started to sound louder and faster as he got farther away. In that moment we thought: Eh? Is it that bad? Maybe they saw something while we were sleeping, or rather, maybe they took peeping photographs and want to do something bad with them."
"Rather than while you were sleeping, before going to sleep?"
"You mean like, when I do practice baseball swings naked or something?"
"Yeah, naked practice."
"Or maybe like, a picture of Wolf's butt when he's wearing his sexy negligee or something?"
"Ah! If a picture of it peeking out is released it would be bad, huh?"
"Then, I suddenly realized that "secret" might just be a hook. In other words, those trick titles that often appear in sports newspapers."
"Yes, yes."
"Couldn't the "cret" in 'secret', be referring to Greta[5]? In other words, letting our people know about her unknown nightly behavior, just to release a scandal photo of Greta?"
"About the princess? Well, that sounds like a wholesome picture but that's because you are tight knit family."
"Wolf was already angry. This is no joke, we couldn't just let them print Greta's sleeping face in a sports newspaper that's published throughout the country."
"So what happened?"
"... burned it."
"What did he burn?"
"With him still in his negligee, we rode to the newspaper printer and he burned all the copies of the next issue with his fire majutsu. In awe I thought in a spur-of-the-moment[6] 'Wow, papa is so strong' ", while crammed in an ink barrel."
"Uh-huh. But in the end, you're telling me we don't know if it was your daughter or the Lord Third Son's butt peeking out? Maybe he was too hasty."
"Since we didn't want either of those being seen by the entire country, I'm glad there's not a single page left. But... the only problem is..."
"That it was a three part issue?"
"Why do you know that?"
"Oh, no Shibuya~! There are no secrets in Murakenzu. I know everything. Because of these glasses, because of their super-extra-mega strength, they are definitely MADE IN GWENDAL"
"This story got way out of hand, I can't read it anymore!"
Today's victims:
(This really happened on the same day of the event)
Illustration: Temari Matsumoto (Who after 8am, was being hit by GEG and getting begged to wake up)
Page Design:須見美華 Mika Sumi (Who was pretty startled after being woken up)
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References[edit]
- ↑ A spoof of "Silvania Families" (https://www.sylvanianfamilies.com/ja-jp/)
- ↑ Reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Battleship_Tiramisu This is like a tier 3 reference: 1) It's a 2018 gag comedy mecha story. 2) Sakurai also happens to be the voice actor for the main of said anime. 3) It takes place in 'the universe', which is how he connects it to the 'universal' aka being open minded, which is what Murata was talking about
- ↑ Reference to the "Japan Series", but this has one is missing the second kanji, making it the 'Day Series'. May be connected to the newspaper 'Shin Nichi' (Nichi means day).
- ↑ Reference to French racing driver Jean Alesi, married to Japanese actress 'Goto Kumiko'.
- ↑ secret: himegoto, hime: princess. Like 'princess' hidden in 'secret'
- ↑ He used the word bukkake to say this, as in "In awe, in a bukakke of thought, I thought"
