MaruMAːShort-shortsːYuuriWolfAlpha
Yuri＆Wolfram＋α[edit]
By Takabayashi Tomo
"I feel the smell of blood coming from the bath area.... are you a thief!? An intruder!?"
"Gyaaa, Wolfram, w-w-what are you doing!? Don't slam the door open! Or rather why are you so angry? Why, if you were coming in to take a bath, did you draw your sword!?
"Whoops, Yuuri"
"Don't 'whoops' me! You saw me, I'm here."
"Is whoops strange? Then, whoops-a-here you are?"[1]
"Did I slip back in time? Are you a Heian era aristocrat? Wait, that's not the issue, like I was saying, why did you come into the bathroom with your sword out?"
"Oh, this? Well, I smelled blood and thought maybe an intruder or a thief was here.... Yuuri, what are you doing over there?"
"Oh, this? I'm just washing my hands now"
"Those wet clothes have a brown stain on them. No wonder it smelled like blood"
"That's right. Say Wolf? Do you know how to clean blood?"
"You expect me to know how to remove blood stains?"
"No, well... Since I'm a baseball brat, I have some knowledge of how to clean stains, but... it's not like I was a manager. There were mud stains, but also blood. But on earth there was a special detergent for it. Over here, there isn't a magical detergent that breaks down those proteins down, right? So I was wondering how people who got injured in the battlefield or during training got rid of blood stains."
"Show me. Hmmm, well if it's such a large stain, usually you'd just throw it away"
".... Yeah, I thought so, too"
"So why don't you throw it away?
"Well, it's not mine. But for some reason it got mixed into my luggage. So I couldn't just throw it out, and keeping it like that was unsanitary, so I thought, let's just wash it."
"Good grief, it's so crusty. You should have put it in water and soap faster"
".... um, sorry"
"Well, since it was already left like this, it's pointless telling you this now. When it comes to dried up blood, you have to do this, let's see... you have wrap this thin cloth around the grated vegetable and..."
"Say you... can clean with grated vegetables? Amazing"
"Don't say dumb things, go ahead and do it yourself. Come on now, do it with a tap-tap."
"With a tap, tap , huh?"
"Yeah, a tap-tap. It's fine if you do it with a whoosh-whoosh, too."
"With a whoosh-whoosh is fine, too. Wow, Wolfram you're really good at this! Could it be that you got good grades at home economics?"
"I've never been a home maker, and I won't become one either in the future"
"What kind of pickoff[2] was that? Well, then where did you learn about this kind of trivia?"
"In recruit training. I'd wash bloody bandages, to prepare in case of a shortage of supplies."
"But you... they made a prince do something like that?"
"It doesn't matter if you are a prince or an aristocrat. If you don't do basic training properly, it could be fatal."
"Hmm... now I feel guilty that I hated washing my superior's socks when I was in first year of junior high.... I feel like apologizing for thinking I should be fetching balls instead of doing laundry."
"Even though I'm trying to picture it, 'fetching balls' doesn't seem like much of a training either"
"Well, you're right about that"
"But I can understand your feelings very well. I too, really hated basic training at first. Jumping over obstacles, crawling on the ground...."
"Ah, advancing while crawling[3]"
"Covering your body with mud, diving into swamps"
"Wow, just like Rambo"
"But I do wonder if my status got in the way. Slowly but surely, the harassment became more noticeable. While everyone was climbing trees and poking at beehives, I had to poke at mountain rabbits nests. While everyone was swimming in the cold water while wearing one piece of underwear, I was the only one making soup."
"Um, I don't think that's the same as harassment ..."
"The superior might have thought he was being careful, but for me, that special treatment was the same as harassment. "
"That integrity, really makes me bow my head sometimes"
"Anyway, I endured recruit training and the subsequent training, too. Although I really didn't like it at the time, now I'm proud of myself."
"That's right. And I'm really glad you endured it for me."
"That wasn't really connected to you in any way though, right?"
"That's not true, you see. Because you were able to complete basic training, you were able to survive the war, and because of that, now we can be here together like this, washing stains, right? That's very important to me."
"Well, I guess you can say that. By the way, you said that this piece of clothing was mixed in your luggage... but don't tell me, could this be Anissina's material?"
"Huh!?"
"Anissina refines and distills different liquids, and she loves making poisons. Most of the times when the medicine is ready, it results in terrible mistakes"
"What, no way. This is... Anissina-san's experimental material? This is bad, and I washed it! This is really bad. Is it really bad that I grated the radish all over it, is it!?"
"Oh my, your majesty. And Wolfram, too. What are you two doing.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH your majesty!!!! How!? Why are you washing those clothes!? Those clothes... those clothes are......... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!
"Wait, Yuuri. This is Gunter's!? Which means that this isn't blood, it's.... juices!? Are these juices!?[4]
end.
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- ↑ Word play: originally, Wolfram said おや, an interjection of surprise. Then Yuuri said something like don't say oya, if you say oya, then you saw me and might just leave-> "おや？ じゃ！" Wolf asked if it's strange to say oya and if so the how about "おじゃ" (old Japanese for 'being here'), also a mix of those last two words. A pun with several layers.
- ↑ In baseball, a pickoff is an act by a pitcher, throwing a live ball to a fielder so that the fielder can tag out a baserunner who is either leading off or about to begin stealing the next base.
- ↑ Using a technical Japanese term rather than a description.
- ↑ Gunter juices can be blood, mucus, sweat or semen.
