Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai:Volume 2 Chapter 1

Chapter 1

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The season was summer. It was a Saturday in July, and finals were drawing near.

Today, I had shut myself up in the only room without air conditioning (that is, my room), and was facing my desk with a look of desperation… or perhaps a better word for it would be anguish.

“U… Ugh…”

Like a normal second year high school student, I was studying for finals… not.

“U… Ugh…”

I was playing through a new eroge, “Little Sister Wars – Siscalypse.”

“…Oo!”

Tap tap tap tap!

I intensely manipulated the USB controller I had plugged into the laptop.

On the screen, there were two strangely dressed girls, jumping around and engaged in a grand battle. They punched and kicked at each other and waved around staves and guns. Sometimes, flashes of brilliant light would signal the depletion of a gauge meter, and the display would completely fill with tentacles, or maybe time would stop, or maybe tens of thousands of little sisters would be summoned… that kind of thing.

“Little Sister Wars – Siscalypse.” – or as the fans had already dubbed it, “Siscali,” – was different than any adventure game I had played up to now.

I would read the text, then make some choices at branch points, and then “capture” little sisters as I saw more events with them… those simple elements were definitely there, but after all that’s said and done, “Siscali” had a growth portion and a battle portion. At the start, you picked a little sister to develop, leveled her up, taught her special moves, and then had to win battles with other girls at various points in the game. That was the kind of system “Siscali” had. Also, if you could connect to the internet, you could play the game in online multiplayer battles.

There were already tens of thousands of players online, so the Siscali server was a huge success. Is there no more decency left in this world?

And then…

“Ah!”

The lightning-based little sister I was using took the enemy little sister’s tentacle attack fully, and was blown to the edges of the screen. Her hit points gauge hit zero in an instant, and her clothes tore and burst open.

Uaaaahh! Ahh… ahhh… ahh… (<- Echo).

Game over. The character I was controlling, now with her clothes torn, stood defeated at the foot of the enemy girl with the black cloak.

”Time to go home. Your big brother is waiting for you.”

“Dammiiiit, I lost again to her! Isn’t she just a bit too strong?! Is she actually beatable?!”

After hearing her strangely irritating, fully voiced words of victory, I tossed my controller away and banged on my desk, frustrated. And then…

“Aaaah.”

Suddenly, I came back to my senses. Feeling as if I had just woken up from being hypnotized, I held my head.

… What the hell am I doing…?

Ever since the morning of this day off, I, a seventeen year old male, had been shut in my room zealously playing this little sister eroge.

That is what I, Kousaka Kyousuke, am doing right now. No, no no. That’s wrong. This is wrong.

I’m actually an incredibly average high school student; it’s not like I’m an otaku or something.

Even though I have a little sister, to be playing little sister eroge like this all day… there’s a reaaaally deep reason for it. I’m not trying to hide anything – this isn’t mine… it’s my little sister’s.

My sister forcibly told me “play this,” and so I found myself unwillingly playing this eroge.

… I’m not lying. You might think this is completely unbelievable, but my outrageous sister loves little sister eroge, and watches lots of children’s anime.

That’s right… That fated day.

That day when I accidentally caught a glimpse of the secret hobby she was trying so hard to hide.

And with that, while still keeping up that icy cold façade she has always kept up with me, she asked me for life advice.

Having her prized collection shown to me, being terribly abused by her, being forced against my will to play eroge, being taken along to an offline meeting, being dragged along to Akiba…

And through this all, I was just spinning my wheels helplessly. In any case, even though we had barely ever talked to each other before then, in those few weeks we had more than ten year’s worth of conversation.

After that, I felt like I knew just a bit more about the sister that I had known nothing about up to that point, and just a bit more about these otaku that I had been prejudiced against.

Well, and so, I felt like I had taken one step forwards.

My sister was able to make otaku friends with whom she could talk openly about anime, and I even managed to defuse the terrible situation with my father when he found out about her hobby.

Ever since then, neither my father nor my mother had brought up the subject of Kirino’s hobby even once, and on the surface everything had returned to what it was like before my parents had found out. At that time, my father had screamed at me to “Do what you want!”

And, even if he said those words in anger, my father never went back on anything he said, even if he had only said it once.

It would also be incredibly unlikely for him to bring up this issue after so much time had passed already.

Those events had happened in June, and a month had already passed since then.

So that’s how things were now.

There was no longer any reason for my sister’s hobby to throw this family into disarray.

The life advice shop of Kousaka Kyousuke, which had been open for an unexpectedly long time, had at long last closed its doors.

I had finally been released from those troublesome things, and once again would return to the same dry relationship I had once had with my sister, living out my days at my own pace in peace and tranquility…

At least, that’s what I had thought.

“Haah…”

Why is it then that after that, I’ve been called on multiple times by my sister under the pretense of “life advice,” and have had unreasonable requests continually forced on me?

Just a few days ago, she forced this “Siscali” into my hands, saying something like “It’s good, so finish it with a swift attack. Just do it.” Whatever, I don’t understand at all.

And then I obediently did as I was told… yes, I know, pretty pathetic.

“Agh… stop stop! Can I seriously do this?!”

This won’t work. I’m at my limit. Do you have any idea what kind of stress I’m feeling, playing little sister eroge while having a real little sister? Can you imagine it? For those who have little sisters in real life, you should be able to understand… I could feel myself falling gradually into complete misery.

I stood up, and made a wild dive for the bed.

Whoosh. Feeling sluggish, I looked around my room. My desk, my bookshelf, my closet… I had all the bare essentials in my 6 tatami room . The Japanese calendar on my wall was flipped to July.

I would be the first to admit that the room had very little personality, but that’s fine with me. Banzai for mediocrity. Viva the normal life.

That laid-back lifestyle was really what suited me best.

And that’s why what I was doing right now was really out of character.

“… Alright, let’s get some tea.”

Needing to sate my thirst after getting so agitated by the game, I left my room.

My house was a single building consisting of two stories, and both my room and my sister’s room were on the second floor. Going down the stairs, the entranceway was on the right, and on the left was the door to the living room.

Going into the living room, I saw the sister in question chatting on the phone.

Sitting as always in her usual spot on the sofa, her legs were crossed under her very short miniskirt. It was a very revealing outfit, but it’s not like looking at her charming figure like this was anything special.

No matter how attractive she was, it’s not like I would ever look at her that way.

My sister in her daring outfit continued to talk on the phone, looking happy and periodically letting out a burst of laughter. She might be talking to some of her friends from school.

“Ahaha. Is that right? Yeah, uh-huh…”

As always, she was really a wolf in sheep’s clothing…

(My sister has her otaku side and her normal side , and she uses a different side depending on who she’s talking to, but lately I’ve come to understand which side she was using just by her facial expression and how she speaks.)

Her hair was dyed a light brown, both her ears were pierced, and her long nails were manicured to a glossy shine. Even though she would be able to turn heads even without cosmetics, she had carefully polished up her face with makeup. She had an air of maturity about her quite unfitting for a junior high school student.

She was tall and slender, but also filled out in the right places.

This absurdly stylish girl was my sister, Kousaka Kirino.

Presently, she was fourteen. She was a student at a local junior high school. She also modeled for a teen magazine, was a track and field star, and scored fifth place in the prefecture on academic tests. She was a freak. To a thoroughly normal brother like me, there was nothing more annoying than this.

“Alright. Ok, I’ll be waiting for you~!”

As I listened to her very little-sister-like coaxing voice, I passed by the side of the couch, and took out the green tea. Pouring some out, I drank an entire glass.

“Phew…”

I relished the refreshing feeling of the liquid passing through my throat. Ahhh, that hit the spot.

Well, that’s that then. Having gotten what I came for, I treid to leave the room.

With masterfully thief-like footsteps, I walked sneakily to one corner of the living room. But my great efforts were in vain, for the minute I set my hand on the doorknob I heard a voice calling to me.

“Hey.”

It was an incredibly cold single word.

“… What?”

Without even turning around, I sent back a reluctant response.

See? Our relationship was not great at all.

With undisguised disgust, she mumbled listlessly.

“You do it?”

“… Huh…? Did I do what…?”

“I asked you if you did it. That thing I lent you… do I have to spell it out for you? Are you that stupid?”

Can you believe this? Is this how a little sister should speak to her brother? It was more like she was a noble and she was speaking to her manservant. Only turning my neck, I spit out an annoyed response.

“Yeah, yeah, I did it. I was playing it just now.”

“Huh? What…? You were locked up in your room since morning playing an eroge?”

“You’re the one who told me to play it, weren’t you?! Don’t look at me like I did something wrong! Shouldn’t you be praising me?!”

“You’re becoming just like an erogamer.”

“Am I supposed to be happy about that?!?!”

You’re just making fun of me, aren’t you? That’s what you’re doing, aren’t you, you asshole?!

Argh…! This damn girl… is seriously not cute at all!

That smile that she gave me that other day… as I thought, it must have been a hallucination, wasn’t it?!

There’s no way my little sister could be that cute.

Oogh. This won’t do. I’m getting so angry that I’m feeling dizzy…

Watching as I began to stagger, Kirino rested her chin on her hands and spoke.

“And? Did you at least clear the campaign once?”

“No… not yet…”

As soon as I said that, Kirino clicked her tongue and gave me a disappointed look.

“Huh? Didn’t I tell you to attack it swiftly and clear it?!”

“The enemy’s too strong and I can’t beat her… no, that’s not it! In the first place! I’ve already asked this, but why do I have to do this?! Especially since finals are coming up?!”

“Only idiots who haven’t been keeping up with their work panic like this before a test.”

“….”

Well, occasionally she spits out something logical… she’s pretty hard to deal with, isn’t she?

“Well, that might be so, but…!”

But, while that may be true, I still don’t think I should be spending this time playing eroge.

So please explain to me why I have to do these kinds of things. Please explain.

“So what’s the reason? I don’t think you even told me before.”

Bolding puffing her chest, she responded this way.

“It’s life advice.”

I don’t get it. Life advice is when you listen to someone’s problems, and then help them fix those problems, right?

Why is it that even though my sister’s problems had been resolved, I still had to beat these eroge?

Kirino continued.

“The true charm of this game is that you can use your clear data, and with the little sister character you developed you can fight other people. If you don’t clear it quickly, then we can’t battle each other, right? Don’t you understand at least that much?”

“Do it with someone else!”

There should be an online mode… right? That mode should exist, right? Although, I don’t know much about this stuff.

Don’t spew out unreasonable requests as if they were the most natural thing in the world! Who the hell do you think I am? I have to do such ridiculous things just so I can be this girl’s sparring partner? Don’t screw with me.

“I can’t win online… I’m pretty bad at these kinds of fighting games.”

“I’m also really bad at them! In the first place, mom and dad never bought me a game console, so I haven’t exactly played many games in my life!”

“I know. That’s why I lent this to you. You should be grateful.”

At long last, I understand. You just wanted to play the game with someone you know you can beat, right?

You want to battle someone. But you don’t want to lose. So you need a handicap, or someone who would let you win.

And eventually, you want to be able to beat serious opponents…

Hmph. However I think about it, she’s acting like a spoiled brat…

“W-well, for now, I have to study for my finals, so I can’t spare too much time for games.”

“Hmph. Are you stupid or something?”

Kirino ridiculed me with a catty expression.

If annoying your older brother was considered a talent, then she would be a genius.

“If you don’t have time, then you should clear it quickly. At any rate, I guess I can give you some tips… but unfortunately I’m busy today so I can’t do that now.”

Is she listening to a word I’m saying? I said I don’t want to play this game!

I felt creases beginning to form on my forehead, and Kirino continued.

“… geez. Have you tried going to a walkthrough site? After all, I made sure that you should be able to connect to the internet even from your room.”

“… Walkthrough site?”

“Yes. Just go to ‘Siscali@Wiki’ and there are plenty of game details there. I also used that site to clear the game.”

“’At Wiki’? What’s that?”

“Huh? Did you get amnesia or something? Didn’t I already tell you?”

“Uh…. a-ahh…. that thing.”

Yeah… that was it… broadly speaking, Wiki was a site where users could add and change information about various things by themselves.

So, this “Siscali@Wiki” was probably a place where lots of people had gathered information about Siscali.

After hearing Kirino’s advice, I wondered if I should try the game for just a bit longer. Of course, I still really didn’t want to play a little sister game, but stopping in the middle like this just wouldn’t feel right. And also, the fighting portions of the games… I guess those were… relatively… uhh… interesting… I guess.

“So, go look at the site, and tomorrow please clear the game completely. Understand?”

“…..”

Why does she look so proud of herself?

“Are you hard of hearing? I asked you if you understood.”

“Ahh, yeah yeah yeah… I’ll do it, I got it. Tomorrow. I’ll see what I can do.”

Geez, I guess I can’t help it. Scowling, I sighed, and Kirino spoke again.

“Oh, right. I just remembered something.”

“What? Is there something else?”

“Tomorrow my friends are coming over, so make sure to stay in your room, alright?”

What a thing to say.

Well… I guess I can tolerate that much. It seems reasonable that when a little sister’s friends come over, she asks her brother to stay out of the way. So I’ll do what my sister says, and that day I’ll stay in my room…

Hm? Wait… wait wait wait wait.

“Y-you… you want me to play an eroge in my room while you have friends over?”

“Yeah.”

“What kind of torture are you trying to put me through?! If they find out what I’m doing I won’t be able to live down that embarrassment!”

To be seen by my sister’s friends while I’m playing eroge would be nothing short of traumatic.

And if they don’t take it well, I really would want to die.

“If it comes to that, I’ll just pretend I don’t know you, so it would be fine.”

“This isn’t about your embarrassment! Think about me! If I get found out, then the shame might actually make me kill myself!”

Upon hearing my vehement protests, Kirino fell into deep thought while looking at me.

“If you wear headphones they shouldn’t find out, right?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

This is why women are… I think any male junior high student in this country would agree with me that when trying to secretly watch videos, just wearing headphones doesn’t necessarily lower the risk.

Certainly, earphones would cut the sound of the video, which would make you harder to detect. However, your sense of hearing is also cut from the outside world, so any impending entrances by your parents also become difficult to sense. So, the men of the world devised various schemes to deal with this, such as only wearing earphones in one ear.

Well, whatever. I’m not here to talk about that.

“My door doesn’t lock, you know! If someone happens to open the door, that would be an instant strikeout, wouldn’t it?! It’s too dangerous!”

“… I see… you might be right… well, somehow or other think about it.”

She finally seemed to come to realize what I was trying to say about how risky the entire thing was. Putting on a difficult expression, she nodded.

Seriously… sometimes she seems like such an airhead… and she also seems to be dead set on making me play this eroge. “Somehow or other think about it”… it’s not like it’s that simple.

“In any case… my friends are coming. If you’re in the house, be sure to stay obediently in your room.”

“…..”

Kirino gestured to me like one would gesture to a dog to shoo him off. It seems that my sister really didn’t want her friends to meet me… although, any little sister would probably think the same way.

Well, whatever. Whatever. I’m annoyed, but whatever. It’s always been like this anyways.

I shrugged my shoulders and then spoke.

“Yeah yeah. I got it. Tomorrow, I should try my best not to leave my room, right?”

“Yes, exactly. Don’t bother me in the evening either. A lot of cute girls are going to be coming, and if you talk to them I’ll kill you. Looking at them is also forbidden, to keep them from being polluted.”

“Don’t talk about people as if they’re germs!! Is there a reason to go that far?!”

And generally speaking…

“It’s not like I’d be interested in any of your friends anyways.”

“Hmph. Whatever.”

As always, she looked at me as if I were garbage. I shuddered as I thought of how many of these people would be coming tomorrow.

Kirino’s school friends were a group of the so called “girls of the highest order.”

They were beautiful, refined, high class flowers. But Kirino’s worry was a bit misplaced. I can’t think of any reason for me to deliberately approach these girls who lived in a different world.

In my heart of hearts, those were my true feelings at this time.

“… Geez. What exactly is she trying to accomplish…?”

After that, I returned to my room, feeling irritated.

I was planning to take an afternoon nap, but after talking with my sister all the sleepiness had been stricken from my body, so now I was in no mood to sleep.

Sitting at my desk, I brought the laptop out of standby mode.

Umm… it doesn’t matter which button I push, so I’ll just push a button, right?

Lately, Kirino has been lending me her laptop very frequently, so I’m slowly becoming familiar with how to use it…

“……. Ooh.”

For a minute, I felt as if something was slowly creeping up on me…

It probably was just my imagination.

For now, let’s try using the Internet browser. (I don’t know much about computers, but even I understand what an Internet browser is. And how to use one. It’s just a piece of software that lets you view webpages, right?) I thought I would try checking out that “Siscali@Wiki” site that Kirino had mentioned. This would also be the first time I was using the Internet with this computer.

“Oh.”

As soon as the browser opened up, I was greeted by a familiar site. It was homepage for the otaku SNS service Kirino had signed up for. The community Kirino was a member of, as well as the friends she had made through that community, were displayed on the screen. In the midst of those names, I found the two I had also met before, “Saori” and “Kuroneko.”

By the way, Kirino’s screenname was Kiririn@just_a_while_ago_I_saw_the_markings_of_an_erogamer.

… That bastard. She must have updated that after our conversation. Does she have no concern for human dignity?

“… Tch.”

I can’t really dig much farther into this than I have already. Peeking at other people’s private things is wrong.

I clicked on the search bar on the upper half of the screen.

Hmm… what was it…? Ah, that’s right, Siscali… a space, and then wiki… now enter.

When I entered in and confirmed this information, I was able to easily find the “Siscali@wiki” page.

On the left hand side of the screen, a bunch of lined-up menu titles were visible (character names, special move names, etc.), and when I clicked on one of them the corresponding information would appear on the right side of the screen. It was an exceedingly simple way to organize a webpage.

“… Whoa… what is all this?”

I was astonished by the sheer amount of information on the site. This game hadn’t been released that long ago, and yet there was already such detailed walkthrough information on the site…

Of course, there were details about the game’s system, and there were walkthroughs for the campaign mode (with video links) and charts of all the skills in the game. There were also detailed walkthroughs of how to plan the growth of your character to maximize parameters, damage calculation formulae, and also a list of all endings and a scenario flowchart… I think. I’m not an expert at this stuff though.

Normally, I would only use the Internet from my cell phone to check the weather, so I had really underestimated the usefulness of these walkthrough sites.

From the day the game went on sale, people who had played the game to 100% completion had been constantly updating “Siscali@wiki” and filling out the database, so in a sense I guess it was natural that the site would be so detailed.

But, still, it was pretty amazing, I thought.

Only by liking the same eroge, people could collect those feelings and make such a top-quality database like this…

The same feelings that I had come into contact with a month before with that whole situation came to me once again from this site.

“… Hmm.”

A wry smile leaked out through the corners of my mouth.

… Geez… so this is what “otaku” are like… what a dedicated bunch.

Well, I guess this is what they called passion. And, of course, as far as the public was concerned, this stuff was pretty useless.

That’s how it was.

“……….. Hm.”

For a little while, I gazed at the screen…. but I didn’t even know where to start. Even so, I could clearly tell from the site contents that the site was written in a style that was supposed to be easy to understand.

Still, the people who contributed to the site were probably core gamers, so how they viewed the game was probably a bit different from how genuine beginners like me did. So it would be pretty tough getting through all this. After comparing the Siscali instruction booklet to the site over and over again, I finally was able to somewhat understand the contents of the site.

Hmm. According to the site, Siscali’s campaign mode has a pretty high degree of difficulty, so for super beginners like me, it would be pretty difficult to clear it.

“But, Kirino also cleared it.”

She’s also a beginner at fighting games, so if she can do it, there isn’t any reason I shouldn’t be able to do it as well.

… There has to be a way to do it…

I found a link on the side of the wiki page titled “Beginners Please Read,” and clicked on it. Then, the right side of the screen was filled with walkthrough information for beginners.

There, I found the encouraging statements that I detail here.

Beginners Please Read – Campaign Mode Playthrough Instructions!

First, let’s get those little sister’s levels up quickly!

Siscali’s online mode is divided into two large modes.

There is the Battle Mode, where all of the world’s little sisters do battle, and aim to be the strongest.

There is also the Co-op Mode, where to prevent the destruction of the little sister’s worlds, little sisters band together and complete various missions as a team.

(Some parts omitted)

In Co-op Mode, it is possible to use your save data even if you have not cleared the game.

If you are a beginner, then forge a strong character online, and tackle the campaign mode! Surely, you will soon be able to exact revenge on those you could not beat up until now!

• However, leeches are not welcome! Only accept missions that are suited to your level!

“Uhh… I can’t make heads nor tails of this…”

I don’t know what a “leech” player is, and saying it like it’s an obvious concept doesn’t help.

But, somehow or other, I had come to a bit of an understanding. Uhh… it’s like this, right?

First of all… if I don’t clear the offline mode (the one which had me looking at a game over screen multiple times), then I won’t be able to play in the online battle mode.

In other words, as I was now, I couldn’t do anything online except cooperate with other players and fight against computer opponents.

“… Why did they have to put in such annoying restrictions?”

Well, sure, it’s probably true that people who haven’t even been able to clear the campaign would have a hard time playing online… but that’s a pretty high standard to hold people to.

Since, just like I had seen before, the campaign mode’s degree of difficulty was certainly pretty high.

Was online gaming really like that? Well, whatever. So then, I had to get through the campaign mode…

First of all, in this Siscali game, when you repeatedly cleared the same missions you would get experience points, so that your character can get stronger by “leveling up.”

Up to now, I didn’t realize this, and just kept on trying to push forwards. That’s why, no matter how many times I tried, I would lose to the same enemy. But, leveling up would also be easier in cooperative play online, it seemed.

“Hmm… so that’s how it is.”

Even though it was an eroge (Kirino would get angry if I said this though), they had still put so much into the gameplay portion. I thought that an eroge was, like the name suggests, a game in which all you do is do ero things… but I guess there are a lot of different types of eroge too.

I mean, for me, I really didn’t see why they made this game into an eroge.

The “ero” part came when you defeated an enemy, and as a reward you would get those kinds of scenes… Honestly, I think they should cut out all that stuff and sell the game like that.

If people under the age of 18 can’t buy the game, then their customer base gets narrowed, right?

Well, maybe there are complicated factors that I just can’t see.

As I was using my beginner’s insight to ponder these issues…

“… Oh.”

The reference video I was looking at began to approach an ero-scene.

This was a video that was linked from the wiki page, and seemed to be a video explaining the basics of how to battle in Siscali, but the person who made the video, perhaps to tease the audience, had recorded part of the “Reward CG” near the end of the video.

… Ugh… dammit. As I thought, I really can’t get used to this type of little sister ero…

Even though it’s a game, watching the little sister character doing inappropriate things to the protagonist was depressing and mentally exhausting.

If I were to look at this from Kirino’s perspective, I would separate the game from reality until the very end, would accept that just because I had a real little sister, that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a little sister game, and would be disgusted by the thought of thinking about two dimensional and three dimensional characters in the same way… but I really still don’t know what I think about that line of reasoning.

The only thing I can really say is that I really can’t do things I can’t do. I can’t play games in which you have to capture little sisters when I already have a real one. And I really don’t want to watch scenes in which the little sister does inappropriate things.

Feeling truly awkward, I began to watch the HCG sequence with the little sister character who had her clothes torn off and was collapsed on the ground, and – GAAH!

“Kyousuke – I’m going shopping, do you want medium spicy or-“

“Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Letting out a huge shout, I frantically clicked to the X button on the video player.

Krrchhh! My chair began to sway back and forth and creak from the disturbance. Upon turning around, I saw my mother standing in my open doorway, standing there vacantly. Speaking inarticulately, I began to babble incoherently.

“W-wha?! M-m-mom! K-knock next t-time!”

“Sooorry~~! I’ll be extra careful next time. So, do you want medium spicy or extra spicy curry?”

“M-medium spicy!”

“Too baaaaad. Today, I’m in the mood for extra spicy. Alrighty, I’ll go buy that now. Byeee~.”

With a wide smile that seemed to be implying something, she closed the door.

“Ugh………”

Almost to the point of tears, I stretched. Dammit… how do I put it… dammit all!

That damn woman, whenever she has free time all she makes is curry…! In the first place, from the flow of events that just occurred, why the hell did she even ask for my opinion if she wasn’t going to take it into account?! Dammit, it really seems like in this household, the first-born son’s opinion is just as valuable as a piece of garbage.

If they keep treating me like this, maybe I’ll just go and join the Tamura household instead .

But also… I really cut it close with closing that window with the ecchi scene, didn’t I? Could it be… that she saw? It’s not like I can go and ask her if she did…

Ugh… I’m just going to forget this ever happened to protect what self-dignity I have left.

Alright, I’ve forgotten already!

But seriously! Not having any kind of lock on my door is such a pain!

Honestly, I didn’t really know how to deal with this…

As I pondered the many problems that middle and high school students faced today, I wearily stood up. Softly gazing downwards from my window, I made sure that my mother had left.

Alright, she left, right?”

Pulling myself together, I reopened the wiki page and once again began to read.

So… the remaining contents of the beginner’s guide ran something like the following:

Second, be careful of the beginner killer “tentacle sister”! Otherwise, we will advise you on all the places where it is easy to make mistakes…

Third, here are easy instructions for which stats to level up. At the beginning, the parameters you should raise are…

Fourth, make good use of the first person view! If you learn to effectively switch between viewpoints, you will dominate 3D battles!

Fifth, a final way to success! Make sure to outfit your favorite little sister with your rarest items!

“Oh hoh. I see now…”

With renewed vigor, I eagerly nodded.

“I see now that I have no idea what’s going on.”

If the person writing the wiki article heard me, he would probably be heartbroken.

But I really just can’t understand things that I don’t understand. I can’t help it. There’s too many specialized terms in this.

Well, I guess one thing I did understand is that I should play online in the cooperative mode.

Skimming the beginner’s guide page from start to finish, I closed the browser. Then, I clicked on the Siscali icon on my desktop, and started the game application.

The “Little Sister Wars – Siscalypse” menu appeared on my display.

“Ummm… is it this?”

While looking through the instruction manual I had on hand, I connected Siscali to the Internet. It seemed that Kirino had already configured the game for online play, since on the first click I was able to easily connect to a server.

Player “Kiririn” has been logged on.

“Huh?”

What’s this? I had logged on with Kirino’s screen name? Is it because she had configured it that way?

I’m not too sure what’s going on, but it seemed as if I was able to connect, so whatever.

When I connected, I saw a bunch of borders that separated the screen into areas like notebook paper, with names like “Lobby Screen” and etc.

In a window in a corner on the right, I could also check the player data for “Kiririn.”

Hm. There were a bunch of English words and numbers displayed there… but the one thing I could understand at a quick glance was…

Win:003/Lose:046

So it was like this, was it? I couldn’t make heads or tails of the other ratios next to that one, but this one was probably her win-loss ratio. It was a count of the number of times “Kiririn” had won and lost in battle mode.

Hey, what is this, almost all of her matches have been losses…

“Uhh… what…?”

The separated sections on the display were all named some kind of “room,” and when I clicked on one, for example, something like this would show up:

”For expert players! This is the procrastination room! (Above ground only, no flying). Battle. Participants 1/2

”Beginner’s leveling-up room~. Cooperative Mission 02. Participants 2/3”

In this way, the information for each of the rooms was displayed. Players could enter in one of these rooms, or they could make a new room with their own conditions and rules.

I had heard that this type of online game system was relatively popular.

“… Umm… uhh… what exactly should I do…?”

With the lobby window in front of me, I scratched my cheek.

So, I should just choose a suitable room, enter it, start talking (I guess they would call it “chatting”) with other players, and start a cooperative game… but I stopped suddenly while choosing my first room.

I don’t know why, but the thought of chatting with people I don’t know and playing a game with them made me hesitate. Was it just me…?

Or maybe everyone felt like this the first time they played an online game. For me, although I can’t say for sure… another factor was probably the emotional burden of having to play an eroge.

“… Uhh… maybe I should stop here today…”

I moved my mouse pointer to the logout button, and suddenly…

Ping! A light sound rang, and a small window appeared on the upper portion of the spring.

You have received a message from Saori-san.

“Huh?”

Recognizing the player name, I stared intently at the screen.

Saori was an otaku friend of Kirino’s, and the manager of the “Otaku girls unite!” community. Last month, she helped Kirino out a lot at the offline meet-up that Kirino had gone to.

… So, she plays Siscali too…? What a small world…

Well, no, this was probably a pretty popular game right now, even within her community.

Right now, there were more than ten thousand people connected to this Siscali server…

“Hm.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any exact figures for how well this game sold, but…

It’s possible that this game sold absurdly well.

I mean, this type of thing isn’t unusual, right? In this world, there were at least a few tens of thousands of erogamers who liked little sisters. I had always thought that my own little sister’s hobby put her completely in a minority, but perhaps in the otaku community, she was actually in a majority?

Agh, wasn’t this type of stuff a bit too popular?! This world is really this bizarre?!

Well, setting that aside, I turned back to the message that I had received.

”How do you do, Kiririn-san? If you have free time, would you like to talk?”

“She seriously seems like a different person online…”

Without thinking, I let a smile come to the surface.

This “Saori” acted like a “well-mannered lady” online, but irritatingly, what she was like in person was completely different. She was more than 180 centimeters tall, and her measurements were the same as those of Fujiwara Norika.

She was a really weird girl, whose fashion sense and way of speaking all reeked of gross otaku.

Facing that Saori now, I…

“Umm…”

This was the first time I was chatting online, and even though I was a bit confused about speaking to someone in real time over the net, I made the following response:

”This isn’t Kirino… sorry about that. This is her brother.”

When I made that response, I received another message: Saori-san has sent you an invitation to a chatroom. When I clicked that message, a new chat window popped up.

Saori: Ah, if it isn’t Kyousuke-oniisama . It’s been quite a while since we last talked.

When I thought about who was typing this, it honestly felt a bit lame. Who the hell was she calling “oniisama”?

Kiririn: Who the hell is Kyousuke (凶介)? My name is Kyousuke (京介), dammit. Kousaka Kyousuke (高坂京介).

I hadn’t told her what kanji my name was written with, so it can’t be helped that she made a mistake. But why exactly did she have to choose that kanji…?

Because she thinks I’m miserable, doesn’t she?! As I was thinking this, Saori sent back a reply: How are you doing?

Trying to keep up with the conversation, I began typing.

Kiririn: I’m alright. You seem to be as lively as usual. Thanks for always helping my sister out.

Saori: No no. I should thank Kiririn-san as well for always helping me out. Lately she’s been losing to me constantly in this game, and because of that, I can keep my win percentage above 80%.

So the “Lose: 046” thing was her doing, was it?! Dammit, because of her, I have to…

As my forehead twitched in annoyance, I typed a response.

Kiririn: Hmph. You’re pretty good at games, aren’t you?

Saori: Well, I guess you could say that…

Oh really?

Kiririn: Well, I was wondering if you could give me a few pointers. I mean, my sister is forcing me to play this game… so I was thinking that I should get good at this game and then crush her.

Saori: Eh heh heh. You two are certainly getting along well. It makes me jealous.

… It was nothing like that. What the hell is she saying?

Saori: Have you read the Beginner’s Tips page on the “Siscali@Wiki” site?

Kiririn: Yeah, just now actually. But I couldn’t make heads or tails of it… especially… what was it? It was saying things like I should make good use of first person view or something. Well, I mean, I guess I understand what they were trying to say… but… well…

Saori: Ah, could it be that you’re getting a case of 3D drunkenness?

Kiririn: 3D drunkenness?

Saori: It’s what we call a sick feeling, like carsickness, that can happen when you play 3D games. You can easily get this feeling especially in FPS – that is, games played from first person view.

Kiririn: Ah, if you put it that way, that might be it. Yeah, perhaps that’s it…

I agreed with what Saori had said. When I played 3D games, it definitely felt like I was a bit dizzy.

That’s probably why I haven’t been able to get any better at the game at all.

Kiririn: You sound like you know a lot about this stuff, don’t you?

Saori: I was the same way when I started playing. But if you practice, then at least to some extent you can get better at it, you know?

Kiririn: Practice? How?

Saori: For example, how about you live your real life like an FPS game? Walk around regularly with an assault rifle, and keep your head straight forwards. And if you want to change direction, turn your entire body at right angles.

And then, if you see anybody within your enemy search area, regardless of whether or they’re friend or foe, quickly aim at them while moving into a crouched position. Like this, I was able to completely cure my problem!

Kiririn: Only a complete weirdo would do something like that! I don’t want to go that far to fix this!

But seriously, she did that?! Geez, I had completely forgotten that this person was seriously like this!

She might sound like a lady, but she really was an extremely bizarre person!

Saori: Complete weirdo… Kyousuke-oniisama, that’s quite rude. I already told you once before, didn’t I? That normally, I’m quite an obedient girl.

Kiririn: An obedient girl wouldn’t do something like point guns at people on the street! That’s definitely something only you believe! And it’s not like the people around you would say anything bad about it to your face, so at least reflect on how people around you were reacting to you!

For example, how would her friends feel if she aimed an assault rifle at them?!

Saori: Well, they completely understood, actually. “Phew… I’m glad. This hobby’s much better than the last one,” they said.

Kiririn: Is that something they really can just accept like that?! What the hell did you do before that?!

And so our exchanges continued like this for a while. Even though this was pretty much my first time chatting online, I had already gotten so worked up…

Well, however you look at it, this girl can be really good at getting people riled up. Just by being there, she could get people excited. She was the so-called “mood maker.”

While I was thinking about these things, I dangled my wrists in front of me. Because I had been typing so quickly, they were very tired.

“Phew…”

I paused. Meanwhile, Saori continued talking nonstop. However, I really couldn’t keep up with her high-paced talk.

Saori: Kyousuke-oniisama? Why aren’t you talking?

Because my fingers are tired. Just wait a bit, please.

Saori: Ah, is this what they call the silent treatment?

Kiririn: It’s because my fingers hurt after having to type out so many responses to your ridiculousness, dammit!

She really doesn’t know what it means when she’s ignored, does she?!

As I put on a bitter expression, Saori changed the subject with a ”Well, anyways…”

Saori: If you want, I’ll give you a detailed walkthrough for Siscali over the phone. My cell number is…

And then she gave me her number.

After training hard with Saori, as I expected, I was able to get better at the game. Although, that girl now knew my cell phone number…

Little did I know that I would soon come to regret this.

It was the following day, a Sunday.

Having finished my lunch, I was lounging in the living room and watching TV, when with a Ding dong! the intercom rang. After a short pause, it rang again. Ding dong! It didn’t seem like anybody was going to answer it.

My father worked even on the holidays. My mother had gone off somewhere with the other women of the neighborhood.

Right now, there shouldn’t be any people in this house other than me and Kirino.

“Agh… dammit. Hold on…”

I began to lift myself up from the sofa, but I heard the tap tap tap of someone coming down the stairs. And then..

“Just a second! I’ll be right there!”

It was an overly sweet voice that I was sure would never be directed at me. I couldn’t believe that such a voice was coming out of the mouth of my little sister.

“…”

Oh right… today my sister’s friends were coming over to play.

I sunk back into the same sofa I was lifting myself up from just a minute before. I casually watched the entryway.

Finally, I heard “sorry for intruding!” and could vaguely see the forms of a number of female students passing through the now open doorway.

Ton ton ton ton. I heard the sounds of them going up the stairs.

It seemed that Kirino had invited her friends into her own room on the second floor. At some point, the TV program I had been watching had ended, so I powered down the TV with the remote, lay down on the sofa, and began to read the weekly manga magazine.

Whatever. She can invite over anyone she wants, it doesn’t concern me.

That’s what I thought, but…

“Dammit… I can’t concentrate.”

Even after reading one of the books, I couldn’t for the life of me remember what I had just read. What was happening above me kept on bothering me, and I found myself constantly glancing upwards to the ceiling.

My sisters friends had come over… this might be the first time this has happened since she entered junior high, but it’s not like she’s never had friends over before.

Yeah. So why is this bothering me so much this time?

It’s probably because I knew her secret. Also, her getting exposed to our parents and my having to go through a great deal of trouble to deal with it was still fresh in my mind.

Yeah, that was it.

In her room, she had hidden a large quantity of eroge and other otaku goods.

If her friends found that stuff, then the situation may be even worse than when our parents found out about it…

Well, whatever, it’s not like I’m worried about her or anything.

I really don’t care what she does or what becomes of her. So honestly, none of this has anything to do with me.

It’s just that… well, I mean… it would be annoying if things spiraled out of control right before the exam period.

So ultimately, I was just worried for myself.

“After all, she can be strangely clumsy…”

Will she really be alright?

As I was thinking these chivalrous thoughts, Kirino came into the living room.

My little sister today was wearing some kind of baggy shirt, a super-short skirt, and socks that rose up above her knee. I didn’t know much about fashion, so because my sister always dresses in the latest fashions and styles, there was a lot I didn’t understand…

But, I could see that she was dressed very fashionably. At the very least, there was no mistaking that. And, what exactly is Ms. Teen Model coming down here to do…?

Well, it appears that she had come down to bring up a few drinks and sweets for her friends.

Why is it that she never takes care of me like that?

“…. Gross. What are you looking at? And why exactly are you here anyways? Didn’t I tell you yesterday to stay obediently in your room?”

“… Shut up. I’m watching TV. Go away.”

“Huh? You’re not watching anything. Don’t lie to me. You were reading manga.”

Argh, so annoying. Daring to ignore my sister, I turned the TV on with the remote.

The TV turned right onto a news program. “… the woman was electrocuted after being shot with an illegally modified stun gun. In the suspect’s room, among other things, a number of adult manga were found, and also…” As the pointless information rambled on and on, I felt more and more annoyed.

Come on, go away, you. Go somewhere else, already. In my mind, I drove my sister away.

“Seriously, you’re being a bother. We’re going to come down to eat sweets here. Come on, I told you, get out right now.”

What a way to treat someone. Who the hell do you think I am?

“Tch… I got it, I got it. You’ll be happy if I leave, right? If I leave. Fine, fine, your troublesome brother will return to his room.”

Reluctantly obeying Kirino, I couldn’t help but think about how kind I was being.

Kirino, don’t you have anything to say to your amazing older brother?

“It’s pretty dirty around here, so clean the room before you go.”

That’s not what I wanted to hear!

In the end, I helped clean the living room, made iced coffee for Kirino’s friends, and afterwards I was driven out and begrudgingly returned to my own room.

Now, what should I do? The end of term exams were close at hand, so I really have to study, but I really just didn’t have the motivation. The more the test approached, the more my motivation waned. That was a natural law of this world that I could not go against. As I was thinking up these excuses, I sat at my desk.

“Umm… so I do it like this.”

As clumsy as always, I woke the laptop up from standby mode.

I started the Internet browser. Of course, it’s not like I was planning to put on a pair of headphones and start playing eroge, but if all I did was browse the Internet, then even if the door suddenly opened, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

Resting my chin in my hands, with a sleepy expression, I clicked around and read a few news stories.

But really, and I’ve realized this recently, this “Internet” thing seriously doesn’t agree with me.

“………… haaaah….”

Resting and almost falling back asleep, I let a feeling of laziness wash over me. Hm, this doesn’t feel bad at all.

As I rested, time still mercilessly marched forwards, but I didn’t notice.

Ahhhh… boooored… isn’t there something to do?

This is probably what most people feel like when they’re wasting their time online.

After all, it wasn’t exactly an activity that required deep thought. Soon, I grew tired of just sluggishly clicking on random links, and felt like searching for something to do.

You might think that if I feel this way, I should just go study. Ah, but that’s impossible. I don’t have a reason for it… it’s just impossible.

So, with that plan in mind, while swishing my mouse cursor to and fro above the Google icon, I thought about what to do.

After indulging in my lazy stupor for a while, the face of my bespectacled childhood friend popped up in my mind for some reason. With her quite familiar plain face and loose smile.

It seems that her face comes up often when I’m thinking without any specific goal in mind.

This was probably because, to put it simply, she was my best friend and was the friend who has been with me the longest.

Now that I think about it, she had said something a while ago…

“… Kyou-chan, Kyou-chan, guess what? I’m collecting pillows right now. And, a while ago, I went with my entire family to the department store, right? And in the place where they sell bedding, I found an interesting pillow. It’s soft and feels really nice… but when you take your hand off of the pillow it returns to its original shape…”

I’m pretty sure that at that time, I was only really half listening to my childhood friend’s story.

“Hmm, so, what kind of pillow was it?” I responded casually. But she didn’t take offence to my nonchalance. Rather, she seemed strangely happy as she tried to find a response.

“… Umm… Uhh… te-te-tenpu…. tenpu…?”

What was she trying to say…? Probably, from how stiffly she was speaking, these were English words, which she’s always had problems saying. Tenpu… pillow?

“Hm.”

Well, let’s see if we can’t look more into this….umm… let’s search for “pillow” then.

Click. Upon entering my search request, Google displayed the following search results:

Pillow search results. Approximately 43,800,800 results. Showing results 1-10 (0.16 seconds).

Idiot! How can I look through all that?!

One, two, three, four… forty three million results?! Are you making fun of me or something?!

No, no, of course Google was just doing what it was programmed to do, so it’s my fault for using such a generic search term.

But, anyone who’s using this kind of thing for the first time definitely would think the same way!

Hmph. Pulling myself together, I took another look at the search results. Ten results for my search of “pillow” were displayed on the screen. There were links to sites like “Happy Market,” sites to composite sites about pillows, a link to the Wikipedia page on pillows… but either way it seemed that I wouldn’t find what I was looking for like this. So then…

I decided to make my search keyword more specific. Pillow, a single space, feels nice, single space, tenpu… and then I hit the enter key.

“Dammit… That didn’t work at all…”

Not a single search result came up. Well, I guess there’s no helping going back and looking over the original search results then. After all, I’m just trying to kill time, so even if I can’t find anything I don’t mind. For a while I browsed through those results, following up on a few links, searching for words that were close to what I was looking for. At long last, I came upon a certain site.

It appeared like a site that specialized in selling character goods. How exactly did I end up here when I was doing a search for pillows…?

Well, it seems like they were selling character pillows here.

“Hm? What’s this?”

Looking at the picture of the product, for a second I honestly didn’t think it was a pillow. Rather, it looked like a long, thin cushion on which an illustration of a girl had been printed.

The item description ran like this:

Super popular item! Stardust Witch Meruru’s “Red Star Meru” has arrived with a slightly ecchi hug pillow cover.

• The product image is a sample

… Wh-what…? Why would anybody want an illustration on their pillow like that…?

To think that something as mismatched as this would exist in this world…

But, to call it a “super popular item”… seriously? These things actually can sell…?

W-well… I really don’t think there are people who would actually sleep with these huge pillows, so it’s probably just because people really like this character and so there will always be demand for collector’s items like this…

But either way, the otaku marketplace completely rose above the limits of my understanding and imagination.

But… I’ve definitely felt this atmosphere before!

It was the same atmosphere I felt when I was dragged around Akiba by those three.

“Umm…”

But either way I looked at it, what I was looking for was not here. H-hmph, what’s with these hug pillows…

I immediately clicked the back button on my browser, returning all the way to the search results where I had clicked on the image before.

Putting in a different word into the search window, I turned my gaze away from the image, and…

Click.

Upon clicking, Google spit back a question at me in relation to the word I had typed.

Did you mean “glasses moe”?

“What the… what is this?!”

Completely surprised, I rattled my chair, causing it to creak.

… Dammit. Google said something I completely don’t understand.

What word did I search for, you ask? Well, it doesn’t matter.

“Ugh, that surprised me. Even though it’s just a search engine…”

When I looked at the clock, I saw that an hour had passed.

Huh?! How did time go by that fast?! Amazed, I glared at the clock, but of course, the time that had passed was not returned to me.

This is bad… so, this is the power of the Internet…

Scary……. It’s like the Internet stole part of my life from me.

“Haah…”

Sitting in the chair, I stretched my entire body.

My body felt as if I had just spent a while intensely studying.

This may have been the first time I’ve witnessed the deep ravine that can take hold of and refuse to let go of computer users. I probably shouldn’t get too involved with this all for my own health… As I thought about this all, I felt a bit chilled.

And then…

“Hm?”

If I paid attention, I could faintly hear the sounds of excited chattering coming from across the wall. It seemed that at some point, the girls had come back up from the living room and had moved into the room next door.

The walls of this house were relatively thin, so if you were too loud, your voice could be heard in the next room… normally, we would be careful about this, so it never became a problem.

But today her friends had come over… so she probably wasn’t being that careful.

“…………”

With a strange expression, I stared at the wall. Hm. Once I realized I could hear them, I couldn’t get that fact out of my head.

Suddenly, I could hear Kirino’s voice especially clearly across the wall as she raised her voice.

“I said, there’s nobody like that, geez~~!”

“You’re lying~~. Then, let me see your cell phone.”

“N-no. I won’t do that. That’s a violation of privacy…!”

It seems that her friends were interrogating her, and Kirino was resisting their questions desperately.

I don’t know what she meant by “nobody like that,” but in her cell phone there were photos of her with a certain Gothic Lolita friend and a certain huge otaku girl, and also plenty of evidence in the form of mail she’s sent other people about otaku things . There was no way she could show that stuff to her school friends.

“… That’s pretty suspicious… Kirinoo~… come on, you can tell us…”

What in the world are these people talking about? And with such loud voices…

Fully knowing I was doing something inappropriate, I strained my ears and tried to listen to more.

“H-hmph… tell you… tell you what?”

“You’re still playing dumb! Come on, come ooon~! Kirinoo~~, what kind of guy is he?”

Huh? What did she just say? I feel like I just heard something really strange.

Raising my eyebrows, I awaited Kirino’s response.

“Like I said!! I don’t have a boyfriend!!”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?!

So, this stuff… this stuff they were talking about was…

“You’re lying! I can’t believe that! You definitely have a guy! It’s alright, it’s not like we’re going to steal him, right? So come on, just tell us~~!”

“I-I said there wasn’t one! How many times are you going to make me say it?!”

W-wait just a second! Kirino has a boyfriend? That’s a lie, isn’t it?!

Where was this saint?! Was he a god? He was a god, wasn’t he?

My eyes open wide, I shook my head in disbelief. In my seventeen years of existence, this was the biggest shock I’ve experienced. I mean, I was more surprised now than I had been when I first saw Saori-san’s body in person!

I couldn’t see how anybody could be her boyfriend. No boy’s spirit could stand being in a relationship with that kind of person.

But the girls on the other side of the wall did not seem to agree with me.

“Huh? But Kirino, at school you’re really popular with the boys, you know.”

“Uhh, uhhh! That might be true, but…!”

Is that so…? Well, she is cute when she doesn’t open her mouth. She probably doesn’t let her true nature out at school anyways… so there may be boys that have been tricked by her little act.

But, wait… maybe in front of a guy she likes, she would be surprisingly pleasant.

Pulling back her rebellious nature, and acting like a perfect girlfriend… I tried to imagine it.

“Ugh.”

I felt sick to the stomach. Oogh. I’m not joking at all. The very thought of that sickened me.

“Come on. It’s not like you’ve ever seen me together with a guy. So then, why exactly are you saying stuff like this? That I have a b-boyfriend?”

“Because lately you’ve been acting weird, Kirino!” said friend A.

“Yeah, I agree! Really strangely!” said friend B. And, in response…

“Huuh? I don’t believe you… w-where have I been acting strange? I-I haven’t been acting strange at all!”

What? That definitely didn’t sound like my sister talking. I was taken aback by how weak she was acting.

As I had thought, she was really putting on a huge nice act. But seriously, why do all junior high girls have to end their sentences in such stupid ways?

Then, Kirino’s friends began to speak again.

“Lately, you haven’t been socializing as much, and I always see you texting someone on your phone at school~.”

“….”

Judging by how Kirino wasn’t responding, she probably knew what they were talking about. Well, what next?

“Ah, I saw you talking on your phone too! It sounded like you were having a lover’s quarrel or something!”

“L-lover’s quarrel? What?”

Kirino didn’t sound like she was feigning innocence. It seemed like she honestly didn’t know what they were talking about.

“I mean, it sounded like you were yelling at each other or something, but you looked happy. And then after hanging up you had this smile on your face. That’s definitely your boyfriend, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, isn’t it?”

“No, that was, you’re w-wrong… uhh… I mean…”

Kirino was clearly flustered.

I-I see… I think I know what was going on now… I think I know all too well…

“Ah, see? You know what we’re talking about, don’t you?”

“N-no! I really don’t!”

Kirino continued to stubbornly deny all of it. …This girl was seriously bad at lying.

She might as well have told them “yeah, I have one,” the way she was denying it.

And yes, I definitely knew what they were talking about all too well. The reason Kirino had been less social lately. The person Kirino constantly mailed at school. The person she was having the lover’s quarrel with – I knew all of this.

It’s because, lately, she’s been hanging out and playing with her otaku friends. And her friends had confused her behavior for her getting a boyfriend… well, whatever. It’s pretty natural that they wouldn’t be able to imagine the academic exemplar, sports prodigy, teen magazine model Kousaka Kirino being caught up in eroge and anime, and going out with her otaku friends to offline meetings.

“Hmm? Are you going to deny you have a boyfriend to the very end?”

“Of course I am!”

“Well, then could you tell us why you’ve been acting strange lately?”

This girl who’s been talking with Kirino is really pushing some sensitive buttons here.

That’s what I was thinking when, as I expected, Kirino exploded.

“Ahhh, come on, leave it alone!”

She exploded, but in a way that seemed uncomfortably unlike her.

Because, I mean, I can’t imagine an angry Kirino saying something like “Ahhh, come on, leave it alone!”

If it was the usual Kirino, with a voice a million times scarier, she would be yelling “Die!” or “Shut up!”

But the Kirino here, the Kirino who was pretending to be nice, used an incredibly cute, coaxing voice to deal with her friends.

“I already said it before, I really don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Really…? Honestly though, we’re just worried about y- ow! You don’t need to hit me, Kirino!”

For a second, I thought that Kirino had lost her cool and had sent one of her friends flying, and that sent chills down my spine. But then…

“Nooooo~~! Come onnn~~! It hurts, I said~~!”

It seems my worry was completely unnecessary. There’s no way they should be able to keep talking so lightly after getting hit by Kirino.

It seemed that while Kirino was hitting her friends, she repeatedly called out “I’m angry now!”

“If you don’t reflect on your actions, I’ll never forgive you, you know!”

“Really? Agh…”

… strange. Way too strange… Disgustingly strange! Agh, I can feel goosebumps forming…!

I couldn’t stop myself from trembling in fear at this strange Kirino who was actually acting like a pleasant person.

“W-well… Kirino, we’ll stop asking about it. I’ll reflect on my actions too, see!”

This attempt to calm Kirino down came from a voice I had not heard before.

“Hm, what should I do, I wonder? I suppose if you stop questioning me, I’ll forgive you…”

I couldn’t hear their responses all the way over here, but I could guess that everyone was nodding and agreeing.

The same voice that had calmed Kirino before spoke up again. It seemed like she was trying to change the subject.

“Hey, by the way. Kirino, you have a brother, right? I never knew.”

I affixed my ears to the wall, and can anyone really blame me?

Now completely interested in the conversation, I strained my ears.

“Uh… and?”

“Why do you look so unhappy? He seems like a nice person.”

“Huh?”

What kind of answer was that? She was praising your brother, and you just respond with a “Huh?”… that’s pretty cruel.

But what came out of Kirino’s mouth next was far from praise.

“You should go see an eye doctor… your eyes are broken or something.”

“I-I don’t think they are… probably.”

Probably, she says. It’s nice that she stood up for me, but it seems that she lacked confidence.

Slightly downhearted, another friend joined in on my evaluation.

“I saw him too! I only got a glance at him though. Kirino, he really doesn’t resemble you at all!”

Shut up, bastard. Leave me alone. I already know that, I don’t need you saying that to me.

“In fact, he seems rather plain…”

“Haha, you can say that again. How should I put it… ah, I got it I got it. I can see him ten years later working at some gloomy plain small company, being a sectional manager or something.”

“Whaa, that’s so complicated… but I know where you’re coming from. That face definitely gives off that impression.”

Ahahahaha. I heard them laughing together.

… Junior high school girls have pretty nasty mouths, don’t they… the last thing I wanted is to hear myself being criticized by my sister’s friends.

Even though I would be the first to admit that I do look quite plain…

But I don’t like that you’re making fun of me with this “sectional manager of a small company” thing.

Agh… how depressing…

“Huh? Kirino… why are you being so quiet?”

“… No reason?”

After that, Kirino spent a while longer in the room cracking jokes about me.

… They kept up with the selfish, unreasonable comments. Maybe I should just storm in and yell at them.

I felt offended, something I almost never felt, but even then I couldn’t just go over and knock down the door.

After all, I was a cowardly good-for-nothing. My sister’s friends had already said all they wanted to say, so there was no helping it… that was it. There was no other reason to do anything.

And plus, I didn’t want to cause some strange misunderstanding.

Not wanting to hear any more of their unpleasant conversation, I softly moved down to the first floor.

They probably won’t come back down to the first floor again, right…?

When I opened the refrigerator, I saw that there was still some cola left over after Kirino had prepared some for her friends, so I gladly drank it down.

“Ahhh.”

As I let out a breath, Ding Dong!, the intercom rang.

… Was it another one of Kirino’s friends who had come late?

Naturally, that’s what I thought, but I still moved towards the entranceway to see who it was.

“Kousaka-saaaan. Express home delivery.”

“Ah, yes! Yes yes, hold on one second.”

Hurriedly, I opened the door. A deliveryman stood there smiling, holding a cardboard box. At his request, I signed for and received the package.

“Thank you very much!”

He energetically bowed his head, and returned to his car.

And then…

In my arms only the cardboard box was left. The package was as thick as a stack of four or five weekly manga magazines, but wasn’t that big or that heavy. At most, it was one or two kilograms.

“Hm…”

What exactly is this? I don’t have any idea… it’s probably for my mother or father or maybe my sister, but… When I took a look at the shipping slip, the recipient’s name was “Kousaka Kyousuke-sama.”

“Huh? For me?”

I scrutinized the package shipping slip once again. The sender’s name was a girl’s name that I didn’t recognize, and the contents of the package were labeled as “cosmetics.”

What…?

Why am I getting cosmetics from a girl I don’t know? I have no idea what’s going on.

Completely stumped, I leaned my head to one side.

Well, it’s no use to just continue thinking about this here. Just as I thought that, Kirino began to come down the stairs.

She probably also heard the intercom ring. She seemed displeased, and began to speak.

“Y-you came out of your room. So? What’s that box?”

“I don’t know.”

“Huh? What the h-“

Suddenly, Kirino’s expression changed to one of surprise. “Ah! That design…”

“Hm? As I thought, this is yours, isn’t it? But my name is on the label… hey!”

Frantically, Kirino finished descending the stairs, and quickly snatched the cardboard box from my hands. She spoke up, sounding happy.

“It’s an “Etana” box! What is it what is it? What could it be?”

Kirino looked at me with an expression filled with both confusion and hope.

“Huh? What? This… is for me?”

“What? Ah, no…”

“Amazing! Even I haven’t been able to get one of these!”

I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but it seemed like a misunderstanding was starting to form. For some reason, she thinks that this is a present for her from me. Come to your senses, Kirino, why would I be sending you cosmetics as a gift?

“Well, I guess I can’t help it then. Go ahead and take it.”

Any motivation I may have had to clear up the misunderstanding had evaporated… I guess “Etana” was the name of the maker. On the box, in English, was written “Eternal Blue” or something.

From how happy Kirino seemed to be about it, it was probably a high-quality product. I don’t know for sure though.

But, honestly, is it really alright for us to open this? It wasn’t something that Kirino had ordered, and I still don’t know why this package would be addressed to me.

It’s not like I thought it was a bomb or something… it was probably just some mistake…

“But this… this just came out this year! You were so clumsy earlier that I got so mad, but I guess now we’re even!”

“No, that wasn’t- h-hey!”

After her strange, arrogant statement, before I could say anything, Kirino ran back upstairs with the mysterious cardboard box.

She was angry but is going to forgive me? I was so clumsy…? What the hell is she talking about?

… Geez, even though I didn’t say a single word back there…

And then…

The cell phone I had stuffed into my back pocket began to vibrate.

Huh, who is it? It was an unlisted number, and I took the call, puzzled.

“Y-yes, this is Kousaka…”

“… Kyousuke-san?”

I could hear a calm female voice coming from the other end of the line.

W-who was this?

I didn’t know any girl who would call me “Kyousuke-san.” Puzzled, I asked for her identity.

“Umm… who’s calling?”

“Hm? Ahh…”

Seemingly satisfied, my conversation partner took a long breath, and answered.

“Ah, sorry for bothering you. Kyousuke-shi! This is Saori!”

“Wha-“

Her voice had suddenly gotten much louder, so I was surprised.

“Uh, you’re… that ‘Saori’?”

Now that I think about it, because I had phoned her yesterday, she also knew my number as a consequence.

“Fufufu, Kyousuke-shi, do you really know that many other people named ‘Saori’? I didn’t know that. Or should I say, maybe you found a sweeter, prettier, glasses-wearing ‘Saori’?”

“In the first place, I only know one ‘Saori’ that ends her sentences with ‘gozaru.’”

“Indeed! Haha, oh no, you’re making me blush.”

“That wasn’t a compliment! But in any case, what do you want with me?”

“Hey hey Kyousuke-shi. That’s not the tone you should take towards a girl who calls you on a holiday. Are you telling me that I need a reason to call you?”

Well, she told me, I guess. I’ll reconsider my tone.

“So, did the package I sent to Kyousuke-shi properly reach you?”

Well, at least that I could make sense of. That package from an unknown female sender… and I guess it wouldn’t make sense if she used her screen-name to send the package.

“… You mean… could you mean that cosmetics box that I got?”

“Yeah, that one. I’m glad that it seems to have reached you safely. Truth is, I know Kiririn-shi’s address and phone number, but I never had asked for her real name…”

“And so that’s why you sent this to me.”

Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever heard Saori call Kirino by her real name once.

Hm. It’s strange to think of friends not knowing each other’s real names… but I guess that’s what often happens with people who meet online. Well, if they can get along well regardless, it’s not like this is a bad thing.

“I’ve already passed it on to Kirino. She seemed really happy about it. I don’t know what’s going on, but thank you.”

“Ah, then that’s great,” Saori responded graciously.

… She really is a good person, isn’t she? Even if she’s really weird.

“But is it really alright, for her to get those cosmetics…? Weren’t they expensive?”

For something to make Kirino happy like that, I would imagine that it would have to be pretty expensive.

“… Hm, it seems that there’s been a misunderstanding, Kyousuke-shi.”

“What?”

“I agree that’s the box I received after I bought an expensive cosmetics set from overseas… but the contents of that box now are completely different.”

“………”

Um, what did she just say? Is she saying that the contents of the box were not cosmetics…?

“So, what’s in the box then?”

I tried to ask as casually as I could.

And she responded just as casually.

“Among other things, a set of doujinshi from Meruru and Siscali.”

“Wai-“

Speechless, I almost let my phone drop to the floor. I could instantly tell that this was a dangerous situation. W-wait. Wait wait, calm down…!

Despite how angry I felt on the inside, I tried to ask my next question with a calm voice.

“Ero stuff?”

“Some of it, yes.”

I quickly looked up to the top of the stairs. I gulped.

As I did that, the phone call continued.

“Kiririn-shi had asked me before to look for these things, and just recently I was able to get my hands on them. There are some Siscali books I bought at a recent event, and also a handmaid walkthrough guide for Kyousuke-shi. I sent it out as soon as I could yesterday… ah, also, there are some bed sheets too in there. Fufufu… you don’t need to thank me at all. After all, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

Calm down… mustering all my strength, I collected myself and quelled the feelings of rage that were welling up.

This was not the right time to be blowing up at her.

“Sorry, something urgent came up! I’ll call you back!”

Click. Cutting off the phone call, I put my cell phone away.

“Arrgh, this is really bad!!”

That idiot Saori! What terrible timing to be sending us this bomb!

That bastard… putting this stuff in a cosmetics box and writing cosmetics on the shipping slip is probably just her own way of camouflaging the contents… but this time it was completely counterproductive!

After all, junior high school girls were really into cosmetics…

If she opened that box in front of her classmates, this situation would get really bad really fast! Agh, dammit! What should I do?! This is really serious! And what the hell did she mean by bed sheets? If it’s also in the same box, then I can’t imagine it’s anything good!

And then, I remembered the description of the “illustrated hug pillow” I had seen online the other day.

Could… could it be… that the bed sheets were…

Aaaaaaggghhhh! That had to be it! Don’t open it just yet, Kirino~~~!!!

Completely panicked, I rushed up the stairs towards my sister’s room.

Without thinking, I turned the doorknob. Luckily, it wasn’t locked, so it easily opened.

“Kirino!”

“!”

Stumbling into the room, I quickly looked around. It was a room that gave off a strange, sweet smell. The smell was stronger than it was the other times I’ve come into this room.

In the 8-tatami large room, there were four junior high girls, Kirino included. Kirino was sitting at her study desk, two others were sitting on a cat cushion on the floor, and the last one was sitting on the bed.

And then… happily, I noticed that Pandora’s Box had yet to be opened.

The cardboard box sat in the middle of the room on the floor, and one of Kirino’s friends was trying to peel off the duct tape with which the package had been sealed with her nails.

Cold sweat stuck to my forehead as the girls collectively affixed their stares to the rude fellow that had just barged into the room without permission. They were of all shapes and sizes, but they definitely looked like Kirino’s friends. That is, they were all really cute girls, and… agh, this isn’t the time to be thinking about this!

Kirino stood up fiercely from her chair.

“What the hell?! Why are you barging in here so suddenly?!”

What a horrifying look she was giving me.

“Um… well… that is… uhh…”

Why are you looking at me like I’m a fly or something when I’m trying so hard to help you?!

Dammit, if she chases me out now, she’s making a huge mistake! Although, she doesn’t know that yet. Seriously, why am I trying to protect her public image anyways?! Geez, it’s not like I’m getting anything out of this.

“I’m sorry about coming in so suddenly. Really sorry. Uhh… there’s been a bit of a slipup…”

Putting on a forced smile, I began to shorten the distance between me and the package.

But, Kirino blocked my advance vigorously.

“Huh? Slipup? Whatever, just get out. Hurry. Right now.”

Kirino crossed the room and came right up to me, and tried to push me out with both her hands.

“H-hey, wait a second… come on! Listen to me…”

“Shut up! I told you to get out!”

She was completely unapproachable. Although, for Kirino, this was the natural way to react to my intrusion. After all, she hated me, and thought of me as something akin to vermin. What’s more, thinking about the conversation I had heard before, these junior high girls didn’t exactly have great opinions of me either.

So I understand that she may not want me to come into contact with her friends, even for a second. I understand, but…

“Seriously… listen to me for a second! Just for a second! I’ll leave right after, I swear…!”

Not even letting up her pushing by a bit, Kirino screamed “What is it?!”

“It’s the box, the box… the box you snatched out of my arms a little bit ago. Give it back to me!”

“Huh? You came in here just to tell me that?! You already gave it to me! I don’t get it! Just get out!”

While she was saying this, she continued to attempt to push me out of the room. Irritated, I scowled.

There wasn’t even a bit of room for me to offer an explanation.

“…”

Come on! Realize what I’m trying to do, Kirino…! There’s ero doujinshi in that box over there…!

(By the way, I only knew what doujinshi was because of that other day when those girls dragged me around Akiba. Taking me to ero bookshops… it was torture.)

“Don’t look at me! Gross!”

I’ve seen TV shows where siblings have almost telepathic like powers in trying to understand each other, but that was obviously a lie.

She honestly didn’t understand anything I was trying to say.

There’s no helping it, so I have to be a bit more forceful here.

“Ugh… sorry!”

Shaking off Kirino’s hand a bit forcefully, I grabbed both her arms and neatly reversed our positions.

I was expecting an immediate counterattack from my sister, but at the very least, it didn’t come immediately.

“Hya!” She gave of a girly shriek and held herself. I only touched your arm, geez! Don’t respond in such a weird way!

Well, whatever. That wasn’t important right now. For now, I had to deal with my primary objective.

Where is that thing?!

When I looked in the direction of the box, I saw Kirino’s three friends sitting near the bed, staring blankly at me. One of her friends, the short one, was sitting right in front of the package. It was the same girl who was trying to pick off the tape before. I faced her and raised my palm.

“U-umm… can you let me through?”

When I pointed towards the box, the girl swiftly hid the box behind her back in her hands.

A teasing smile appeared on her face.

“Ehehe.”

Th-this bastard! She really knows how to piss me off…!

And also, wasn’t this the same girl who was badmouthing me in this room before?!

Freezing a smile in place on my face, I could feel veins of annoyance popping up on my temple.

“Hahaha, stop joking around.”

As I gave off a dry laugh, I again reached out my hand.

Stepping back, the girl began to run towards the bed.

I began to ran after her, reaching out my hands, when…

Suddenly, Kirino caught my collar.

“Stop screwing around! My friends came over to play, so why can’t you be a bit less annoying?!”

Scary! With a glare that put my father’s to shame, she pierced through both my eyes.

As an invader of the girls’ sacred space, I felt like I was about to be given the death penalty.

She was seriously, seriously angry. Well, I would probably be angry in her position too, so I can’t blame her. But, come on… I’m not trying to be annoying here.

It’s not like I’m doing this for her. It’s just that I never ever start something that I don’t finish. After I gave you life advice, after I was beaten by our father, after I was forced to play an eroge… after I suffered through all that and was able to make a bit of progress…

If it all came to nothing here, then that would be terrible, wouldn’t it?

So, I looked my sister straight in the eyes, and gave her a glare right back.

“Kirino!”

“… W-what… why are you angry?”

As I expected, Kirino faltered when she saw that I was serious. Not wanting to miss this opportunity, I shouted loudly.

“I-is that a cockroach?!”

“… Huh?”

It was honestly the oldest trick in the book, but somehow it worked. Everyone’s attention (except for mine, of course) turned in the direction I was pointing. In that short gap, I moved quickly. I shook off Kirino’s grip from my collar, and quickly closed the distance between me and the box.

“Sorry!”

“Ahhnnn…”

I put my arms around the box behind the girl, and forcibly took it back.

Dammit, she also made a weird noise… it makes me seem like a hentai or something…

“Um, sorry for the intrusion…”

Fully conscious that my self-dignity had been torn to pieces, I made a hasty escape from the room.

Ugh… why is it that even though it’s a holiday, I’ve had to do such terribly nerve-wracking things since noon…?

I seriously could cry right now… dammit.

Phew… well for now… I should

“Wait! Wait just a second!”

Nevermind! Kirino had come out into the hallway to chase me down!

Idiot, why do you hate losing so much?!

“I-I’ll tell you what’s going on later!”

“Shut up! You already made a mess of my holiday, so what the hell are you saying?!”

I should be the one saying that! It’s incredible how much I wanted to say those exact same words to her.

Continuing my escape, I almost leaped down the stairs.

“Wait!”

Don’t underestimate how fast a track star can run. In no time at all, she closed the distance between us, not giving me any other paths to run.

“…ugh.”

Having been cornered in a dead end in the hallway, I slowly backed up while carrying the exceedingly dangerous box.

Kirino seized the box I held in my hand, and pulled with all her strength.

“Give it back!”

“N-no! I already told you I can’t!”

To an objective spectator, our tussle over this cardboard box may look like just some children’s argument.

They would say that we had let the blood rush to our heads and weren’t thinking properly.

“Oooooooooo…”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…”

Both of us were gritting our teeth. It was my strength pitted against hers. If it was just a matter of physical strength alone, then I would have the upper hand, but while we were having this tug of war Kirino continued to kick me, and in that way leveled the playing field. Ouch! That hurts you know!

“Stop it!”

“Shut up! Die! Die die die die die!”

She was primarily aiming for my lower body, so I had no choice but to protect my sensitive areas.

Th-this is bad…! At this rate, I’m going to lose…!!

The minute I yielded just a bit to my angry sister’s brute strength…

“Hyaaaah!”

Slip. Kirino lost her balance and fell to the floor.

It’s not like this was unexpected. After all, the floors were pretty polished, and she was wearing socks and continually kicking me, so this was pretty unavoidable.

“H-hey– argh!”

And, of course, having been holding onto the box as well, I went right down with her.

In slow motion, I watched as the cardboard box danced in midair and Kirino toppled over onto her back.

“Watch out!”

As I was falling forwards, in an instant I reached out and took the back of Kirino’s head in my hands.

I’m describing this in detail, but to the end this was an unconscious reflex. It’s not like I was trying to protect her from the fall or anything.

Thud! We fell right on top of each other. I felt a sharp pain run through the hand between the back of Kirino’s head and the floor.

When I opened my eyes after the fall, I saw my sister’s face right in front of me. I have no idea what happened… but she looked completely dumbfounded. I probably had a similar expression on my face.

I was in pain, but it seemed that neither Kirino nor I were really hurt.

… Oogh…

“…….”

“…….”

Glued to each other on the floor, we stared at each other for a few seconds.

It took us both a few seconds to understand what had just happened.

It looked almost like I was trying to pull my sister closer with my right hand securely behind Kirino’s head.

Meanwhile, my left hand (and this was definitely not on purpose) looked like it was just about to try to tear off the bra that was peeking out from her upturned clothing.

And, our lower bodies were tangled up, as if they were completely glued to each other.

“……..”

Being in this predicament, I couldn’t help but think a certain thought.

… If this were an eroge, then an event CG would definitely start here…

I-I couldn’t help it! After all, almost the same exact situation happened in the game I’ve been playing lately! I’m not sure who exactly I was trying to explain myself to, but these thoughts ran through my head.

When she finally had taken stock of the situation, Kirino’s face hardened.

Next, her well-proportioned face flushed a brilliant red. Her small lips began to tremble.

“Wha…?!?! W-w-w-wha…?!?!”

“C-c-c-calm d-down…! This was a bad accident! It wasn’t any of our faults…!”

“Y-y-you hentai! Siscon! Rapist!”

File:Oikk v02 079.jpg

“It wasn’t on purpose!!! And also, who the hell are you calling siscon?!”

“Shut up! J-just get off!”

With that, we began to squawk and gripe at each other.

“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!”

A shrill shriek came from behind me. Kirino’s face immediately paled, and she tensed up.

Somehow or other, there was probably something behind me that I should be scared of.

Dreading what I might find, I slowly turned around.

“Gah…”

Kirino’s friends had assembled in the hallway.

“K-Kirino…?”

“Uwaah… should we leave you two alone?”

“Could this be… forbidden love?! You two are like that?!”

These girls… what an unimaginably huge misinterpretation.

How the hell did they come up with that conclusion?! These damn brats…

“Definitely not!!”

Kirino and I shouted the same words at the same time.

To an extent, you could say that it was a rare moment when Kirino and I were on the same wavelength.

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Translator's Notes

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