Phenomeno:Case 03

Case 03: Beyond the Fusuma

1

I was in my dreams that day, too.

It was an afternoon right smack in the middle of summer, and I could hear cicadas somewhere. It was such a hot day that I could feel sweat dripping even if I were just sitting still, and I sat on the porch of the house, staring absent-mindedly at the garden.

At some point, the girl belonging to the house had taken a seat by my side.

She wore a white shirt and a drab skirt. I couldn't figure out what era this dream chose as its setting by what she wore. Still, I thought it couldn't be too far from my time. The girl couldn't see me in this dream.

That's why we didn't so much as exchange greetings. The girl stepped down from the porch, poured water into a small tub, and then sat next to me with her feet in the tub. She looked absolutely beautiful as she sat there using a small fan to send herself a breeze. Her black hair was carefully tied behind her, and the way she always had her lips closed expressed her upright personality.

The girl and I simply sat there in silence. The bamboo trees on the other side of the white wall swayed from the wind and made rustling sounds.

This world was peaceful, as it had no other sounds.

Or it should have been--

I had a feeling, which was closer to conviction.

A sad premonition that this dream wouldn't have a happy ending.

This one large Japanese-style building that was covered in a somewhat bluish tint.

At some point, I'd started seeing the dream of this house over and over again.

There were times I'd see a continuation, and other times that it seemed like time had skipped. But being a dream, I'd eventually awaken. That's why I'd slowly begun to enjoy these dreams -- but at the same time, I'd begun to feel sad whenever I awakened. Eventually, I'd come to realize that the emotions I felt were tied to the eventual sad conclusion that this mansion faced. I often saw the blue world stained red, the girl a bloody heap on the ground.

This was clearly a lucid dream. In other words, a dream that I am cognizant is a dream even as I dream.

Normally, dreams have unique attributes that make them stand out. lucid dreams in particular usually cause you to have an omnipotent feeling because you can cause anything to happen. However, this dream always gave me a nagging feeling of lack of control.

Why?

Shouldn't I be finding out?

And then I began investigating the nooks and crannies of this house.

The house in the dream had, roughly speaking, a cast of four. At the center was the girl, who smiled at everyone like a spring breeze, and there was also an old man of around fifty, presumably the lord of this house and probably her father. Furthermore, there there were two other men, who seemed to love the girl, and who also seemed to be her cousins. I also saw servants entering and leaving every so often, but we can probably put them aside. The house had a room roughly fifty tatamis large with a large pillar going right down its center that housed the houselord, and to its side was the girl's room, and then further than that were the rooms of her cousins. There was a kitchen, a parterre, a parlor, and a room for servants. I would answer yes it I were asked if it were large, but there were also plenty of houses around this size in the countryside from which I came. It didn't strike me as particularly uncommon, and so I simply wandered about.

Windows and sliding-screen doors held no meaning to me, given that I was like a ghost in this world. I could enter anywhere I wanted to if I wished. However, the more I roamed the house the more I had this bizarre and out-of-place feeling.

There was something wrong with this house.

I began to think that. And then I felt like I'd sensed this oddity before. And when I thought about it, I realized: it was like that house. The "house that grants wishes" that I'd stayed in when I first came to Tokyo. A house for the house that had been built by a heart-broken architect. It was the same sense of misplacement that I felt then.

That would mean.

That there should be a room that could not be entered via normal means. A space that had been deliberately sealed away.

I felt some misgiving, but I decided to look for that room, anyways.

However, I would always forget about that goal whenever the dream began, and only after gazing at the various events occurring in the house (such as an amusing conversation between the girl and her cousins, the houselord having trouble with the trees in the garden, such as when there's some trouble the servants need to take care of) do I eventually remember that room. And then I would begin searching, but time would run out and I would awaken. It was almost as if once I remembered the existence of that room, the administrator of the dream would kick me out.

Of course, in the end, it's still just a dream.

Not everything needed to make absolute sense. In particular, looking at the girl's spring-like smile makes me feel like such a room doesn't really matter at all. Was it wrong to just wish for the girl's happiness? Isn't it enough to just watch over the girl's beautiful mannerisms? There was always something nagging at me from the corner of my mind, but that's what I'd begun to think.

But, when I was rudely lying down on the porch and gazing at the girl pruning the trees in the garden, I heard a familiar voice from above.

"This house is quite amusing."

I looked, and for some reason, Yoishi Mitsurugi was there.

"Everything here was built to further seal off something that had already been sealed."

She whispered, as the dark eyes on her white face glimmered.

"You-"

I pointed at Yoishi as I spoke.

"You, what are you doing in my dream?"

---

I opened my eyes and found myself in a car.

I was in the back of a damn small light vehicle and about to be crushed by a number of bags.

I tried to straighten myself out and was shocked to find someone's fragrant, black hair right up at my nose.

I hurriedly pushed out with my hands, and that person lazily slid back over to the other side, like a rotten corpse.

"It- it was your fault!?"

I shouted, but Yoishi Mitsurugi kept sleeping as if she were dead.

"Shut up, Nagi-kun."

"You know, Fujieda should be a short drive off the highway."

"Don't blame me, the GPS told me to go this way."

I sighed. We'd done that exchange several times already in this tiny car.

Well, all of this is because I struggled with the first-semester exams at my university, and then I forgot to buy train tickets to get back home.

That was yesterday. After I finished my exams, I was sleeping like a log to make up for my sleep deprivation. And then my cell phone rang... my sister was on the other end.

"So, we're getting ready for the festival tomorrow. When're you getting here?"

My brain cells froze for a moment, and then pulled out some latent powers without any regard for how overheated they were from my exams, like a divine revelation, it came to me...

Krishna-san had certainly spoken about it, At the end of July, she was going to participate in the Ikaigabuchi offline meeting taking place in Shizuoka. Moments later I called Krishna-san and cried, please let me tag along.

And now, I'm being shaken around in this cramped car.

"That's why I tried to stop you."

Krishna-san said with an annoyed voice from the driver's seat.

"I'm not a good driver, and this car's an almost thirty-year-old can of junk. You're the one that insisted, anyways. I have so much stuff to bring to the offline meeting, so you're the ones making things worse. It's usually just fine when I'm the only one here--"

Sounded the cold voice from the driver's seat.

I looked up, and found Krishna-san glaring at me through her rear-view mirror.

"You made me miss what the GPS was saying."

Those words finally jostled my consciousness back.

The sunlight shone brightly through the car window as the car drove westward with full speed. I could see the Pacific Ocean expanding in my view, glimmering on the other side of the window.

That's right... we're in Krishna-san's old car.

And I was on my way back to Fujieda.

"This GPS is old, so it takes a really long time to get back on track once I miss the road. It's like it's punishing me for not paying attention to it."

Krishna-san, who was extremely poor with any machine other than a computer, desperately tried to adjust the GPS, but the old LCD display started to give even more inexplicable directions.

"It's because you bought such an old car."

I said with a somewhat teasing tone, and she quickly fired back.

"I was told this was a bargain, and I really liked the design, too."

"You get too empathetic over everything, Krishna-san."

"Shut up. If you're good to machines, your feelings will eventually reach them."

And then she looked back at us, at Yoishi, who slept between the luggage like a broken doll.

"It's pretty insane to try to fit both of you in there, you know."

"I agree, but you know, I'm not the one who dragged her in here."

And then, Yoishi whispered, still in a crumpled posture.

"You're the one that told me to come to Eboshi Mountain."

".....Huh?"

That moment, the car took a bounce.

For a moment it felt like my stomach was turning inside-out, but I frantically held that back. And on the side, I looked at Yoishi's face, and her usual pale face had become ashen-blue.

"Hey! You! don't puke here!"

"What?"

Krishna-san shouted back in a frantic voice, but by that time Yoishi had quickly opened the rear-seat window, stuck her head out, and vomited.

"Hey, you!!"

Astonishingly, a blue sports car that was driving right behind us zig-zagged. I think they probably managed to avoid the vomit with their nice judgement. After that, the sports car kept a large distance away from our car, Their intense glares toward us were actually hurtful.

After Yoishi finished vomiting, a little bit of drool still remained on her lips as she closed the window and went back to sleep. It couldn't be helped, I took out a crumpled handkerchief from my pocket. Don't get on a car if you have a habit of throwing up, I grumbled to myself as I wiped off her mouth.

I ended up meeting up with Yoishi Mitsurugi mysteriously early this morning. Me and Krishna-san were to meet in front of a room in the university. It was loaded with video cameras, tripods and computers. Over there, Yoishi aimlessly arrived.

"You- What are you doing here?"

Of course I asked her that question, but she didn't answer.

It was already summer vacation for the public, if we were any more late in our departure, the roads would be jammed with traffic and that would have been troublesome. For the time being I ignored the vacant Yoishi still standing there.

First, I loaded the goods into the car. The small car barely had a trunk at all, most of the front passenger seat was already occupied with Krishna-san's clothes and books related to the occult. That's why I loaded up the rear seat with cameras and other things, along with my own luggage.

I managed to cram it all in somehow and managed to make a place for myself to sit. But before I knew it, Yoishi was already sitting there. Naturally, I told her to move, but she just silently closed her eyes. No matter how many times I told her, she didn't move. Thanks to that, I ended up having to sit bending backwards in the middle of the luggage like a prawn.

Remembering this, I looked at Yoishi. After puking out the window she had deftly pulled a book out of her backpack, and was now staring at it in her lap.

"Hey, Yoishi"

I pointed at her clothes and asked, "Why did you come to school so early in the morning, while still wearing a school uniform even when it's summer vacation?"

"It wasn't early at all."

"Eh?"

"Because last night , I was in Tsukimori cemetery for a long time, that's my way back home."

"Ah... So you stayed out all night and arrived the next morning."

Or should I say, what's up with staying at Tsukimori cemetery all night and returning back the next morning.

As I thought that, I got confused and shook my head.

"Actually, it's fine. I won't ask what you were doing. It was probably some weird stuff anyway. But once we get to Fujieda, you must get in touch with your household. Don't worry your parents like that."

With Krishna-san in front of me, I said that, acting as the dignified senior.

"Where will the offline meeting for Ikagebuchi be held, I wonder?", said Yoishi while ignoring me and asked Krishna-san.

"In Shizuoka city, There's interesting research being announced about Konohanasakuya-hime", answered Kirshna while driving.

"That was originally called a banana type myth in South East Asia, there are some unique Japanese descriptions that I can't accept. There have been researchers of Konohanasakuya-hime in Shizuoka for a long time. They are going to supplement those shortcomings by presenting a hypothesis, that's why I'm going."

Krishna-san seemed to be in an unusually good mood. Because her occult website Ikagebuchi was famous at a national level, offline meetings and searches of haunted places were being held monthly. I was only attending the meetings that were being held in Tokyo, as expected, I hadn't yet followed the forum threads of Shizuoka.

"A lot of things happened and I was restraining myself on attending offline meetings, but I've had a lot of interest in Konohanasakuya-hime, so I just have to attend the meeting."

"Is that so?"

Konohanasakuya-hime is about that, a female goddess from Mount Fuji whose had various theories about her deification. She married the grandson of the sun-goddess Hononinigi, gave birth to three children, one of whom was Hoori. He would be the ancestor of the Japanese royal family, even I knew that much.

"Your family's fire festival is also perhaps, derived from that lineage." said Krishna.

"Konohanasakuya-hime's, whose fidelity was suspected by Ninigi, gave birth in the midst of fire. That legend was used as a model for the often occurring fire festival everywhere... Or I wonder if it belongs to another legend altogether?”

"I don't know about the details, but the festival in our home town was originally dedicated to the mountain god. Making portable shrines, parading them downtown, and finally burning them. At that time, the electricity of the town is mostly shut off, leaving only the light of the iron basket fire. That spectacle, how should I describe it…? Beautiful, just like a dream.”

“I’m looking forward to it” Said Krishna-san while driving the car; her voice seemed to be in a happy tone.

I haven’t told my family about it yet, but in exchange for driving me back, I promised to let her stay at my house. Well, Krishna-san is polite and courteous; I don’t think she would be a problem at all, the problem lay with Yoishi.

That girl is completely unpredictable, if it was concerning her, even a chat over tea would turn into a ghost story. Especially, as my elder sister had said, this years’ fire festival is to be organized by us: the Yamada family. It would be nice if we could carry out our responsibility safely, I reflected, as I pondered over such dark thoughts.

“It’s no good.” Said Krishna all of a sudden, slamming down on the car’s GPS.

“I didn’t say anything…”

At that moment, an unpleasant thud sound was heard from the engine. Before long the car gradually slowed to a halt

“Even though we left with a full tank of gas…” mumbled Krishna in a timid tone of voice as she glanced back at us.

I looked towards Yoishi feeling she might be responsible for what happened. But Yoishi was reading a tasteless book on the medieval history of execution tools while on her knees as her eyes glimmered.

---

After the continuous struggle through the highway, on top of its engine stalling four times for no particular reason, the car finally reached my home. The sun had already gone down and it was evening time. We parked Krishna’s car in the field which served a dual purpose of being a place to cultivate and to store lumber. During this time, I saw the figure of my older sister in jeans and a T-shirt coming out of the front door of the house.

“You’re late, Nagi-suke! What were you doing, slacki-“

As she said that, my sister fell silent silent seeing the two strangers who had stepped off the car.

“Eh, this is..?”

“Nice to meet you.” Krishna-san introduced herself while politely bowing her head. “I’m Nagi-kun’s senior at university, Kurimoto Shina. I’m always being helped by Nagi-kun with various things.“

“Oh…is that so..?”

With that introduction, my elder sister replied in a polite and courteous attitude that I hadn’t seen up until now.

“I’m his elder sister, Akira. It’s a pleasure to meet you, thank you for looking after my little brother.”

After that, I pushed Yoishi -- You also introduce yourself, dumbass. Yoishi just stood there staring silently. It couldn’t be helped, I thought, as I introduced Yoishi.

“This is Yoishi, Yoishi Mitsurugi. Uhhh… “

What would be a good way to explain my relation to her?

“We belong to the same group with shared interests, right…?”

With Krishna’s impromptu commendation, my elder sister stared in amazement.

“Ehh, you’re still a high schooler, right?”

When asked that, Yoishi just silently raised one finger.

“A first year high schooler, is it?”

Yoishi nodded

Was that so? Even for me, this was my first time hearing about it.

“Even though you seem to be quiet, but you sure are very beautiful”. The candid line from my sister made Yoishi tilt her head slightly. I’m afraid any moment now, she’ll say something like, “Does that have any meaning?”

“Why! Yoishi-chan is a beauty, and Krishna san is cute as well, which one will be this guy’s wife? Or how should I put it…It’s not my place to decide, is it?”

What are you saying?? This person…

I stood dumbfounded glaring at my sister whose long and bright hair was swaying, Krishna-san decisively took a deep breath of air and spoke.

“It’s so scenic and beautiful around here, and the air is great to breathe; it’s a really good place, isn’t it?”

“Only because it’s the sticks”, laughed my sister.

“Anyway, it’s only my mother and father besides me living here, so we have a lot of rooms, please feel free to relax.” Saying that, she invited both Krishna-san and Yoishi inside.

While I was undertaking the work of carrying the luggage, I squinted at the base of the mountain, which was dyed in sunshine. At the entrance of Eboshiyama, the path to the temple already had a wooden structure constructed; a few adults could be seen working around there.

The cold wind blowing down from Fuji, and the hot wind rising up from the Pacific Ocean, entwined with the breath of the forest and blew a unique kind of wind in Fujieda. Being struck by the wind on my cheeks, I was hit with the realization… I was finally back; in my home town, where the fire festival would soon begin.

2

“Ah! Nagito!”

Welcome back, said my mother smiling fondly at me.

“Returned, have you?” remarked my father curtly while lying on his back.

Well then, I should talk about both my parents here a little bit.

After all, it was a story told to me by my dad who tended to boast about himself, but I want to tell one third of the story.

When my father was young, he was known to be an outrageous brat, if you were to put it in modern terms, a DQN , Yankee, or one of those delinquents who teams up with other delinquents and roams the streets. In short, he was a hooligan. I don't know what I didn't like about it when I thought about it now, but he rebelled against a lot of things.

Fights won: 75, lost: 12. His influence reached as far away as Yaizu city. The name Kanto Yamada, made those near and far tremble with fear. Those legendary tales still seems to be talked about at neighborhood association meetings: He had eliminated monstrous catfish living the Kasuga pond; he caused ill-mannered sailors who had strayed into Yaizu city from abroad to go back to their home countries with just one glare, plenty of these kinds of iffy stories typical of the countryside.

My father was that kind of man, who after graduating high school, had no intention of inheriting the family’s lumber business. He spent his days lazily; drinking sake, gambling, getting into fights, with women, and acting violently. At last, it could be said that he finally drew the attention of the god from the shrine of three-god-mountain. From that day on, for causes unknown, he got a high fever and fell down, hives developed on his face, a rash on his arm and warts sprouted on his legs. So my father, who was always over-confident in his looks took a painful blow and prepared himself for a painful death. But, if he was going to die anyway, he would take forcefully take down the incarnation of the mountain god with him; my father schemed up something completely ridiculous like that, like he was going to live shamelessly and shortly anyway.

Uttering that line like a high schooler who had watched too many heroic movies, my father’s younger self grabbed some gasoline and a lighter and headed off in the direction of the three god mountain shrine. However, the shrine maiden was sweeping the temple grounds at the time, my mother: Nogi Tomoko. What’s more, my mother had only just enlisted as a part time apprentice, but still, she eloquently managed to preach to my father. You can’t have such a short temper and such, you are still young, behave yourself from now on, and such. However, the self-proclaimed number one wild boy of Fujieda prostrated himself in front of my mother, the shrine maiden who was not even dressed stylishly. He’d come prepared for death, but instead ending up proposing to her at that place. This is what is known among us in the Yamada family as, the ceremony of the angel Tomoko causing Kanto’s submission.

Or rather, no matter how dubious this overly long story might be, it seems to have been the start of the romance between my parents. I don't want to go into too much detail about why they called her an angel Tomoko, even though she is a shrine maiden. Anyway, it’s been 24 years since then and they’re living a happy conjugal life here in Fujieda. I mean, my father pretended to be the domineering husband, but he was just so deeply in love with my mother.

“Have you lost a little weight?”

My father and elder sister had went to the living room to make arrangements for the visitors who had come from far away, at that time my mother asked stretching my cheeks with her hand.

“You’ve had it difficult in Tokyo, haven’t you?”

“Well, various things have happened”

I almost unintentionally blurted out everything that happened with me up until then, the fearful experiences I had gone through in Tokyo; I was on the verge of spilling it all: Being chased by the countdown of death and the fear of not having any place to run away to, the spine creaking fear I felt when we took down that unbelievable giant floating matter. Well, in the first place it stemmed from me being an occult maniac, but in this short time I’ve gone through consecutive perils which seem to have worn away my lifespan. I don’t even know how many times all I wanted was return home to Fujieda.

But… “ I don’t know if you heard from sis, but uh… First, the house I rented ended up still being occupied by the previous owner; then because of some difficulties I had to go to the hospital, when I was there I ended up being examined by a completely incompetent quack.” I was bad at lying, and made up some sloppy falsifications. In the first place, saying something about being possessed by ghosts would probably not be believable. In any case, it’s not a problem now, everything is already over. Nevertheless, my mother still stared at me with a look of worry in her eyes.

“Sounds like you’ve had an awful time”.

“No, well, it’s not a big deal”. After that I sat up straight and apologized once again. “With that being said... I’m sorry mom, I was in the middle of writing letters and messages to you, but various things happened, and I ended up unable to send them. I’m fine, and I’m now back home.”

When I said that, my mother gently narrowed her eyes and laughed.

“I got that; you also brought along some friends, as well?”

"Aah… sorry, one of them is a person who helped me out, and the other is... someone who ended up getting attached to me. "

“Hah-? “

Ignoring my mother who was staring in amazement once again, I took that out of the bag. The thing I had bought from the western dress store closest to the station: A cardigan.

“I bought it quite a while ago, but it’s already summer. Well you can wear it when autumn starts and it get cold.”

“Even when you don’t have any money, is this ok?”

“I bought it from the first month of my part time job’s salary. Anyway, it was rather cheap.”

With that, my mother delightfully opened the parcel, and took out the cardigan.”

“It’s a nice color isn’t it, I’ll be sure to treasure it.”

I nodded, and at the same time wild laughter echoed in from the living room. My father and sister had probably used the pretext of entertaining guests to start pouring sake. “Well Nagito, shouldn’t you also be there?” “Aren’t you coming as well?” I inquired “I haven’t made dinner her, you need to eat a lot, don’t you?”

“Well, to be honest, I didn’t eat a lot on the way here”. I laughed while standing up, “Then, we’ll be waiting for you”.

---

“You’re late, Nagi-kun!”

When I opened the Fusuma of the living room, I found the manager of the occult site standing atop a desk making an uproar. Her face completely red, she was wearing a hyottoko mask slanted on her forehead; the mask was originally a decoration piece in the living room.

“W-what are you doing Krishna-san?” “Drinking, of course…The sake here is amazing. It’s my first time drinking pulpy sake which soaks into my stomach.”

“That’s great, Krishna-chan! Keep going like that!”

“Oh! We still have plenty of sake!”

With Krishna san like that, my elder sister and father vigorously poured more sake over flowing the cup. The big table in the living room was lined grand with sushi catered from outside. Empty bottles of my father’s treasured sake and my sister’s favorite beer were already emptied on the floor.

“Hey! Yoishi-chan, was it? You also drink some more!” Seeing my red faced sister tried to influence Yoishi, I stepped in.

“That’s unwise. She’s still a high school stu-“

“Don’t be so stuffy, Nagi-suke, I was in middle school when I started, right?”

“Right, because you are special”

“Wha- Hey! Special, you say?”

“You are exceedingly special, that’s why involving yourself with a docile girl like her is a little pitiful, it’s for the best!”

“Oh, I get it, well then Yoishi-chan, will it be cola, or some orange juice?”

Yoishi replied silently by pointing to the orange juice. While merely taking a sip of the poured orange juice to get a taste, she only silently looked around at the ceiling and walls of the residence.

“Hey, Krishna-san has been poured quite a few drinks already, right?” I quietly asked, sitting across from Yoishi.

“Probably”, replied Yoishi quietly.

“Be careful and don't drink with them, OK? My father and sister aren't bad people, but they have a habit of drinking a little too much.” My father red in the face shuffled towards us. In his hand was the famous local sake brew: “Kurasui”

“Go ahead Nagito! You have a drink as well!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m still underage”

I tried hard to push it away from me, but as expected from a man of the mountains, he’s way more physically stronger than me. With his thick arms he forcefully grabbed my arm and didn’t let go.

“No, aren’t you around twenty years old by now?”

“Hey, at least bother remembering the age of your own son.”

Being drowned in breath smelling of liquor, we continued talking when the front door bell rang. “Gooood Evening!”

The door opened and a familiar voice echoed in the hallway.

“Oooh!”

I recognized it by the voice, the bad company from my high school days had joined in.

“It’s good those guys came” I somehow managed to get away from my father and headed to the front door to greet the guests. There, the nostalgic faces were all lined up. The eccentric square faced guy with the family surname of Marui: Maru-yan. Then there was Ranbashi, He’d lost some weight and gotten taller; he was actually pretty strong in fights but usually well mannered. Finally there was the guy always making trying to look cool and only chasing women, Hirayama also known as Pei chan.

“Oh, Nagi, is it?”

“You’ve returned!”

“You haven’t changed.”

“You guys haven’t either, have you been well?”

I bumped our shoulders and arms with each of them in our unusual way of exchanging greetings; my elder sister then arrived. “The appetizers are here!” And she snatched away the food Maru-yan had brought as a gift.

“Your sister is the same as always.”

“Sorry, there are a lot of guests today so she’s frolicking about.”

“Guests?” Maru-yan asked inclining his head slightly as the manager of the occult site appeared staggeringly from the living room. Kirshna-san was now wearing the Hyottoko mask completely over her face.

“Ooh, Guests, is it? No, wait, am I the guest?”

“Hey, who is that?”

“Ah”. I took off Krishna-san’s mask and introduced her to the rest.

“She’s my senpai from university, Kurimoto-san. Various things happened, and we drove here in her car.”

“Is that so?”

Being slightly taken aback, the three bowed their heads and greeted.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Marui.”

“I’m Hirayama.”

“I’m Ranbashi.”

“Ahh, I’m Kurimoto, I’m Shina. Before I knew it, I ended up being called a scary name like Krishna.” Krishna-san replied while bowing unsteadily on her feet. After that she smiled again as she spoke to me.

“Hey Nagi-kun, I’m a little relieved. I thought you were a complete loner with no friends, but you do have some friends who have common courtesy after all.”

After that I beckoned the three in.

“Ah please come in.”

With that, Krishna-san who was acting self-importantly, disappeared into the living room once again.

“It seems to be getting pretty exciting around here” said Maru-yan happily while taking off his shoes. All I could do was shrug my shoulders.

The first one to enter the living room, Ranbashi raised his voice in surprise.

“A female high schooler. There’s a female high schooler here.”

“What did you just say?”

“It’s true. It really is a female high schooler!”

These three raising a ruckus all of a sudden, I asked exasperatedly:

“You guys have surely seen high school girls up until last year, right?”

“You idiot, all men don’t understand the preciousness of it at the time. After graduating, I’ve come to appreciate the figure of a high school girl in her uniform. I’m in agony over the fact that I didn’t enjoy the springtime of my youth to its fullest.”

“Pei-chan, it’s fine so just take a seat.”

With that, even the usually reserved Ranbashi howled:

“She’s an angel! I’ve never seen a girl as pretty as her.”

But, even with such a ruckus being raised in front of her, Yoishi was sitting with a dreary face drinking orange juice. I introduced the Yoishi to the three.

“This is Yoishi Mitsurugi, she’s a member of the same circle as me and Kurimoto back in Tokyo, well, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, Yoishi-chan, is it? Good evening.”

Immediately after Pei-chan’s greeting: “Uwaaaaa--!” Maru-yan let out a shriek.

“Dammit, I should have also gone to university in Tokyo! Hey Nagito! Can you meet beautiful girls like this in the city all over?”

“Not really all over or anything like that!”

“But you… with these two…”

“Calm down Maru-yan. I’m saying they’re just my senior and juni--.”

“Square faced and fair spoken, you sure are cute…” Krishna-san came staggering in and put her hands on my shoulder as she tried to join the conversation.

“Hear that, Nagi? That's how I'm usually treated! You're always making fun of my childish appearance, but I'm actually quite popular, alright?”

“Yeah, you're famous and popular alright… among occult maniacs all over Japan, that is.”

“That’s just cruel, it’s like you’re trying to say I’m some kind of UMA. “

“I’m not trying to say that at all.”

“Hey Nagi-suke! How long are you gonna stand at the entrance? Sit down. Have a drink!” My sister yelled and dragged me to a seat in the center.

“Everyone! Here’s to Nagi’s homecoming!”

“Oh! Welcome back!”

“Cheers”.

“Hahaha”.

They all leisurely raised their drinks up in the air.

“Thank you, I’m back” I also raised my glass; the party became a mess immediately after that. My father began dancing; my sister started singing. In the corner Krishna-san started telling an impromptu ghost story. Pei-chan, who hated scary stories tried to escape, but Ranbashi, wearing a straight face, kept him tied down. My mother kept focusing on the dinner intently, and tried to make sure we didn’t run out of drinks. I didn’t even drink a drop of sake, but after a long time I got drunk on the atmosphere of my home, I watched over the scene with a feeling of lightness wearing a slight grin.

At that moment, I suddenly realized…Yoishi had vanished before I knew it.

“Damn, where did she go?” I looked around restlessly and…

“Oi, Nagi.”

Maru-yan came crawling towards me.

“Where’s the bath?”

“Huh? You wanna take a bath?”

“I’m hopeless”.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was knocked down by Kurimoto-san’s breasts.”

“Huh?”

“She’s gonna use the bath, right? I’m gonna confirm the location of the bathroom beforehand for that. There has to be a window somewhere.” Maru-yan spoke with a sleepy look in his eyes.

“You… were forced to drink some alcohol, weren’t you?”

“I drank…no, I didn’t drink...”

“Which one is it?”

“I don’t know but, I haven’t had such a fun night in a long time. Maybe I’m drunk on the night? No, I’m drunk on Kurimoto-san’s breasts and Yoishi-chan’s beauty.” “Ah-- Where did that Yoishi go?” I asked diverting from the topic. Maru-yan pointed unsteadily towards the outside.

“She just left. Is it the bathroom? Is it??”

…No way. I don’t think she would go take a bath voluntarily like that. Pushing away the clinging Maru-yan from me, I opened the sliding door and went out to the corridor. I followed the path of the veranda out into the garden to find Yoishi standing out there alone.

“Yo, what are you doing in a place like this?” I called out to her back, but she continued staring at the base of the mountain. I put on sandals heading out in the garden and stood next to Yoishi.

“It’s because it’s the sticks, that’s why there’s so many stars.” But Yoishi, without answering, pointed straight ahead. It was the way to the three gods’ mountain shrine.

“What is… that light?”

“Aah, that’s the iron basket fire for the festival, they’re going to try and keep it lit until the day of the festival.”

“It’s moving.”

“Huh?” I too, strained my eyes around halfway up Eboshiyama at the glimmering light. Now that you say it, I do feel like it is moving.

“What could it be then? Could they be switching the iron basket fire?”

“Hmmm…”

I looked at Yoishi, in the moon’s pale blue light reflected on her cheeks; she looked even paler and transparent than usual. At this late hour, what was she doing here? A strange feeling came over me. I...I felt like some other color of paint had spilled into my own palette. No, that wasn’t to say it was an unpleasant feeling, but…

“My household…is quite noisy, isn’t it?”

“That’s right”, she replied without hesitation while continuing to look up at the base of the mountain, then quietly whispered. “But, this is where your precious roots lie.”

---

That night, I was in that blue world again. In that old and large Japanese style house, roaming about in that dream. However, for some reason Yoishi was with me from the start, it apparently seemed to be a continuation of the dream I had recently.

“Well, why are you here again?” I asked, and Yoishi replied with a shine in her eyes.

“To find the entrance to the closed room.” Like that, she began arbitrarily walking briskly towards the back of the residence.

“Oi, Wait, Damn it.” It can’t be helped, I chased after her; midway through, I ran into the daughter of the house and her clingy cousins who were following her around. They walked alongside the daughter, as if keeping each other in check while talking to her. Even someone like me, who was ignorant about love affairs, knew a passionate battle was unfolding between the cousins around the daughter. Nevertheless, it seemed that they still couldn’t see us. The daughter passed through without exchanging glances with me, the two cousins continued to gaze at the daughter as they left. Yoishi didn’t try avoiding the daughter and the cousins as they passed right through her. As expected, it seemed Yoishi too, was an invisible spirit in this world.

Why am I’m thinking such carefree thoughts? Wait a minute. I was originally looking searching this residence for a happy ending to this dream. I had ended up searching for the true face of the lurking omen that was present. And more so when I’m with her, doesn’t this ominous premonition accelerate quickly? My wild imagination was spurring me towards eerie events unfolding. And then wouldn’t Yoishi’s eyes glitter, with me ending up teary eyed like always?

--It’s not funny.

Panicking, I put my hand on the shoulders of the advancing Yoishi.

“Hey, wait. You go back, this is my dream. Don’t just barge in here with your shining eyes like you own the place.”

But Yoishi replied without stopping.

“My appearance in your dream, it’s not my fault.”

“….Oof”

“This is no more than a dream you willingly dreamed, with me in it.”

it was a fair argument to make, It was hopeless to try and refute that,

“Then I’ll say it: I’m hoping to lead this dream to a happy conclusion. Which is why I’m begging you, just don’t say creepy things, ok? Don’t start saying things like ‘It’s strange’ or anything like that again, ok?”

However, even within a dream, Yoishi was still Yoishi.

“Say, have you heard the story of a dream you can’t wake up from?”

In that usual manner of hers, once more her dark eyes began to shine, and doing as she pleased, began to tell a story.

“Once you start watching a repeating dream. The occurrence of the dream increases in frequency gradually, before long you end up not being able to return from the dream world, that kind of ghost story. Or when you wake up from a dream, you hear the sound of a dripping wet mop from somewhere feeling someone’s presence approaching you; or how about the manifestation in reality of something you saw in a dream; there are various patterns, but in the end, the dream encroaches on reality resulting in death is the common thread.

“H-Hey, Don’t mess with me. Are you saying this dream is that?”

“I don’t know, but there’s one thing I’m curious about.”

With that lowered whisper, a detestable premonition set in and I put myself on guard.

“In this mansion, there is no outside.”

“…Huh?” Now that she said it, I haven’t been outside this mansion before. The story always concludes inside the mansion.

“No, wait a minute, that’s because I always wake up at that time, if I walked there, I could easily go out, right?”

Well, let’s try it out then, Yoishi opened the fusuma close by and headed towards the garden. Passing by the two rooms, we headed out in to the garden. Past the courtyard, In front of the entrance there was a large plaza with many cars parked. Yoishi, without stopping, continued to the front gate. Before long, we arrive at a large wooden gate standing sturdily in place, bolted with the wood of the hinoki. I was unsure if I could shift it with my power alone. But right alongside it, we found there was a smaller side entrance, so I pushed it. But, it didn’t budge in the slightest. Feeling befuddled at that moment, it soon struck me: As an existence akin to that of a ghost in this world, a door didn’t actually mean anything. I could just as easily pass through it. Thinking that, I pushed my body against the door itself, but for some reason my body was repelled. Something made me feel that a strong will that I hadn’t felt before was there.

“No way.”

I took a few steps back, and dashed toward the door crashing into it with my full force. But with a violent thud, I was repelled back and fell down. I had been drifting in this place for so long, and yet, I realized that the laws of physics applied to that door alone.

“You can’t leave this residence. Right?” Whispered Yoishi questioningly while I was still lying down on the ground.

“Why is that?”

“Ordinarily a lucid dream is said to be one established by the ego. That dream world should be actively controlled and freely manipulated by the dreamer. But in this dream, there are two things you can’t control freely…” Yoishi’s dark eyes suddenly began to be filled with life – I put myself on guard.

“That is, the closed room and yourself…”

I was half expecting that.

Yoishi spoke with an entranced expression.

“This dream probably has a hidden meaning”.

3

In the afternoon, the temperature had already reached 35 degrees. The sunlight was hitting like a hammer today. It was scorching enough that it felt like my hair would burst into flames at any point. One a day like this, I thought, it was insanity to construct the pedestal to be used in the festival, but when I put on a towel around my head and joined, everyone was lively, I also got caught up in it and ended up joining them in the hectic work.

My town -- Nango Town, was one of the smaller ones of Fujieda City; but nevertheless, whenever this festival draws near, people gush out from nowhere and before you know it, the front of three mountain god shrine ends up being overflowed with people. The job of constructing the festivals’ pedestal is always given to the young men of the city, but like my sister said, it was said to be our family’s responsibility this year. But still, in actuality it was being done by all the guys from downtown who were free at the time.

Today too, the front of the mountain shrine was crowded, in that crowd, I could see many nostalgic faces; at that time I would stop working, greet and have a deep talk with them. Everyone was wearing a smile on their faces. The old lady from the neighborhood who brought refreshments was also pleasant; being in this kind of atmosphere, it really made me realize that the festival was near.

“Yo, Nagi.”

Being greeted from behind, I turned around to see Maru’s square shaped face.

“Seems like the pedestal has begun construction, it really feels like the festival is getting pretty close, eh?”

“That’s right” Wiping off my sweat with a towel. I inquired:

“What about Ranbashi and Pei-chan?”

“They’ve got work in the afternoon; they may come in the evening.” Is that so? Come to think of it, among the lot that I used to hang out with in our high school days, only me and Maru-yan went on to higher studies. I went to a university in Tokyo; Maru-yan to a local technical school. His family owns a small restaurant; he too liked to cook so he decided to become a chef.

While recollecting such things, Maru-yan abruptly began to examine my expression.

“Are you sleeping properly? You’ve got dark circles under your eyes”

“….Aah.” To be honest, I felt like I wasn’t getting enough sleep recently. I had pulled consecutive all-nighters during my exams, after that, I was seeing the dream with the mansion every night, Furthermore, searching with Yoishi in the dream day after day. By itself, the dream is a place where I can drift around comfortably, but she just wanders here and there going “It’s strange” or “How unusual”, saying creepy things like that and making me teary eyed even within a dream. Originally, my sleep time meant for me to rest but my brain had naturally become exhausting because of this.

However, Maru came to his own conclusions, and, smirking, commented, looking somewhere off in the distance:

"Yeah, well, if I lived under the same roof with two hotties like that, I wouldn't be able to quit fantasizing either."

“What?..”

As I followed his gaze, I saw two girls vying for the title of Japan's most obsessed lover of the occult. Krishna-san, dressed in a pink t-shirt with a piglet on it, was helping out with catering preparations. Yoishi, on the other hand, was loafing about as usual, tight white blouse and black tie of her school uniform standing out against the picturesque countryside.

“Are they staying for the festival?”

“I think so, since they didn't leave after the offline meeting.”

“So there's one more reason to look forward to it," Maru grinned.

“Say, is it alright if I visit you again today?”

“Sure, but why?”

“For Yoishi and Krishna, of course. Pei-chan wanted to come too, and it seems that Ranbashi is also interested in Yoshi.”

“Listen, Maru-yan” I said sighing and putting down the lumber I was carrying. “Give it up. You don't want to mess with them, especially Yoishi.”

“Why?”

“She’s not normal. How should I put it? When you listen to her speaking, you’ll end up shaking and crying, or like the feeling of your soul leaving your body. “

When I spoke of her like that, I remembered…

• Yoishi is not a living human.
• Anyone who comes in contact with Yoishi will die in seven days.
• Anyone connected to Yoishi’s ghost stories meets a terrible end.

That is… just like those rumors spread on the internet about Yoishi in the past, they were just made up exaggerations…those words I had refuted in the past were not much different from what I had just said. I shook my head and corrected myself:

“No, In short… she just has taste in slightly different hobbies from the norm.”

“Well, that’s fine, city girls are like that, and I wanted to get to know someone who’s a little eccentric.”

It’s like this guy doesn’t get it all. Well, I wasn’t much different back then… I didn’t believe the rumors on the net either, up until I prowled around a haunted place with her.

You’ll get cursed just by talking to her. If you meet her you die. Those kinds of rumors were spread because her speech had a strange pull. Like Kirshna san had said, her words contain things people shouldn’t know. But, I didn’t know how to explain that to Maru-yan who had no interest in the occult.

“Oh—Maru-yan” With long hair tied up like a pineapple, my elder sister appeared.

“Square faced as always”

“Oh, Thanks for the meal yesterday.”

“It’s fine, I had fun as well.” Saying that, with a whomp, my sister suddenly punched me in the gut. I buckled over instantly grasping for air.

“Say Nagi. I’ve taken a liking…”

“T-to what…?”

“Krishna-chan, she’ll make a good wife, don’t you think?” She boasted while using the broom in her hand as a cane, she’s only twenty two still a bachelorette, yet she acts like an old village hag match maker nodding to herself.

“That’s right? I’ve got to try, don’t you think?” said Maru-yan earnestly as if embarking on a new venture.

“You Idiot, A wife for Nagi here”.

“Why is that? This guy doesn’t seem to think like that”.

“Oh, is that so? Are you in the Yoishi faction then?” Staring in amazement, I waved my hands as if to say no.

“It’s really not like that with those two.”

“Don’t be shy now. I mean for a wife, it’s better for you to choose Krishna-chan. Someone like you who’s always in a daze… an older wife would be just fine. She was asking about the three mountain god to the head of the neighborhood association just now, and he was also buzzing in admiration about her -- that she was so young and so knowledgeable.”

That’s obvious. She is the manager of a huge occult website that earns tens of thousands of hits a day. According to Karasu-san, she is a person who has applied for collaborative research with professors of folklore at various universities.

“Compare that with Yoishi-chan, who’s rather eccentric”. With those words, I looked towards Yoishi, she was sitting near the shrine archway. And I was dumbfounded at what I saw. For some reason, Yoishi was digging up the base of the archway of the three mountain god shrine, with a seemingly smiling expression. “Yeah… definitely a little weird”. Muttered Maru-yan as I rushed over to Yoishi in a hurry.

Her expression of ecstasy had been brought forth by digging out something she wasn’t supposed to.

“Oi! Don’t do stuff that’ll get you cursed.” I rapped Yoishi's head as she poked around the base of the torii with a sharp stone picked up from somewhere nearby.

“Ow! That hurt”

“Sure it did, now what were you doing there?”

“This place is interesting.” Yoishi looked up towards me. Her eyes were shining brightly, I quickly regained my composure.

“That’s fine; I don’t want to hear it.” But Yoishi continued speaking without a care.

“I wonder if everyone is aware. The torii is in this direction-“

“That’s enough! Stop it already!” I screamed. Was it because I had been out in the sun for too long? Or maybe because of a lack of sleep, or perhaps because of the hidden meaning in her words. I felt unsteady of my feet, as if gastric juice was welling up inside me. Don’t say anymore unnecessary things, is what I wanted to say. Menacing me in my dreams, and scaring me in reality as well, where was I supposed to run to?

“Why? It’s an important thing” Yoishi kept crouching down looking up at me with her dark eyes.

I stood there taking a deep breath, staring at Yoishi. Her school uniform had become crumpled already. The same white blouse had become wrinkled after being worn for a few days. Her hands were dirty from messing around in the dirt; she hadn’t taken a shower so her naturally long and beautiful hair was dirty again. As everyone was merrily going about their work with a smile preparing for the ceremony, she was looking up to me with an ominous gaze as if she were a lone, corrupted entity in all of this.

“Why are you like this?” I asked feeling dizzied under the strong sunlight. “Why do you always say things like that? Isn’t everyone having fun with the festival preparations? This festival only happens once every three years. It’s a small town but everyone adjusts their schedule for this day. So I’m begging you, just read the atmosphere. I’m not asking you to help or anything, just don’t get in the way. Don’t try and ruin things at least!” Oh, I think I may have overreacted. I don't know why I suddenly snapped at this girl who was younger than me. I should have stopped, but due to the lack of sleep, her tendency to do strange things that made people around her look askance, and the fact that I wanted to improve her situation just a little bit, I couldn't help myself. I had already crossed the line; it was too late to retreat.

“Why can't you live like a normal person? You have to go to school and learn to talk to people normally. Otherwise you'll have a very hard time later in life.”

Yoishi looked down in silence.

“What do you mean by normal?”

“Huh?”

“In this world, is there any worth in conforming?”

The darkness in Yoishi's eyes seemed eternal. More so than time at the Hachioji hospital; more so than the night at the reservoir, the darkness was even deeper. "No- that is... There's many disagreeable people, so it's obvious, anyone who can't adapt to that will find living difficult, right?"

"Adapting? I wonder if that has any meaning" Yoishi stood up with her hands still dirty staring off somewhere. That back of hers looked slender and unreliable as always. Anyways, I was tired and irritated: of her, and her words. Tired from my exams, tired of my dreams, I had no energy to comprehend what her words meant.

“Anyway, just don’t get in the way of the festival.” I said over my shoulder as I left Yoishi and returned to the preparations for the festival.

--

On that night, it was a full moon. I was looking happily at the beautiful full moon’s perfect circle, holding the bat tightly in my hands. The location was the garden at the back of the house. Why was I standing here alone while being stung by striped mosquitoes? That was entirely Maru-yan and the others’ fault. After we had finished the construction of the pedestal for the festival, Ranbashi and the others had gathered at my house for a party at evening time. While helping out my mother, I was keeping an eye out for Krishna-san, who had an extremely anti-alcoholic constitution, as well as the underage Yoishi to make sure that my father and the others would not make them drink any alcohol. However, Krishna-san would get intoxicated just by the smell of alcohol alone, and after about 30 minutes, was once again dancing around wearing the tengu mask. The problem occurred after that.

My mother announced that the bath was ready and urged Krishna-san and Yoishi to take a bath first. That moment, I witnessed Maru-yan and Pei-chan’s suspicious behavior. After a while, they fled to the hallway. I had a bad feeling and chased them outside, catching them in the front door.

“Where are you two off to?”

“Nowhere-- just to observe the moon for a little bit.”

“Liar, you’re going to peep in the bath, right?”

When pointed out so bluntly: “Please look the other way, Nagito” Pei-chan exaggeratedly begged while putting his hands together and raising them over his head in supplication.

Not a chance. “Are you animals? Have you lost your senses?”

“Peeping is a man’s romance, a deed that humanity must carry”. Maru-yan came up with such absurd reasoning, I firmly shook my head.

“It’s no good; I’m going to stand guard until those two step out of the bath.”

“Well, we’re going home then”. Maru-yan quickly replied.

“How’s that? You can’t stop us from leaving.”

“Are you really going home?”

“If we stay here, we’d just be anguished and go crazy, it’s better to say good bye and leave here, right, Pei-chan?”

“O-oh..! That’s right. Let’s go back.” Exchanging looks in a strange way, nodding to each other in unison was too suspicious.

Oh, you’re leaving already? Replied my sister as the two bid their farewells and left. Seeing the two off in silence, I looked into the tatami room. Ranbashi was trapped alone with my father as he narrated his tales of heroism from his younger days. I could trust Ranbashi based on his personality. But those two wouldn’t possibly go home so obediently like that, I thought. With that, I returned to my room for the time being, and grabbed the wooden bat from my elementary school days. After that I thrust a flashlight in my pocket and went outside. I took up position in the rear garden on the north side of the house, and stood guard outside the window of the bathroom.

It wasn’t like I didn’t comprehend the feeling of wanting to peek in on women taking a bath, but I was indebted to Krishna-san, and I had said some harsh things to Yoishi in the afternoon; that feeling of remorse mixed in, is why I stood guard here alone. The bathroom’s window was slightly open, a few meters ahead of me, the light and the steam was drifting from there. I was relentlessly chasing off the striped mosquitoes that were coming close to me.

“I really am quite weak with alcohol.” Soon I heard her, the voice of Krishna-san.

“Hey, Get in already.” She called out to someone. Probably Yoishi, I thought. Incidentally, I had requested Krishna-san in the afternoon, to take Yoishi with her when she goes to take a bath at night. As far as I knew, Yoishi had not stepped into the bath even once since she had come here. I was afraid my family would say that to me as well, which is why I requested Krishna-san. If Yoishi couldn’t wash her body or her hair herself, it’s regretful, but would you do it? Is what I asked.

“Hey, don’t get in the bathtub so suddenly.” Came Krishna-san’s voice from the window, along with the lively sound of a splash and bubbles. I plugged my ears, but that didn’t stop the scent of the shampoo drifting in my direction. My mind gradually got stimulated. This is crazy, isn’t it like I’m the one peeping in this scenario? I fervently shook my head but, the image of those two naked was vividly being drawn in my mind.

“Those are what are called worldly desires, Nagito.” I heard a voice and looked around at the fence to see Maru-yan and Pei-chan’s faces peering in.

“You’ve arrived, have you…? You shameless lot…”

“The shameless one here is you”. Brazenly, the two climbed over the fence slowly.

“Hey, don’t come in.”

“Be quiet, Nagito. Otherwise they’ll hear you.”

“That’s why I’m telling you not to come.”

“Silently, we’ll reach there. After that it’ll just be fun in our day dreams.”

One way or the other, they climbed down to the other side of the fence, and crouched over to my side.

“If you take one more step from there, this is going to roar.” I readied my bat. Ok, we get it, the two whispered. That moment, another splash, and the sound of flipping hot water was heard.

“Hey! I’ll wash your head, so look over here.” Spoke Krishna. Soon, the shampoo’s fragrant scent would once again drift our way. I turned around just then to make eye contact with Maru-yan and Pei-chan. Their faces were stretched outward to the maximum limit.

“Don’t smell it! Don’t listen!” I spoke as the two replied in unison:

“That’s impossible.” They blurted out in hoarse tones.

“It’s so good.” “A woman is so good.”

“I can’t bear it.”

They kept repeating things like that and mumbling. Ah, I know! I know these things already. After all, I was trying frantically to suppress the squirming lower half of my body. So stop speaking already.

“However, I have a question.” Yoishi’s voice suddenly rang out.

“What do you need to eat, to get big breasts like that?”

“Hey…“

“Naturally, women's breasts swell. But your breasts are clearly outrageous”

“………..”

“I pressed my nose in a hurry. I felt like something warm was pushing up from the back of my nose. However, something red was already hanging from the nostrils of Pei-chan and Maru-yan.

“How should I know? I didn’t like my breasts becoming this big in the first place. I think yours are just about right.”

“Mine are almost non-existent”

“Isn’t that fine? Look, they are just fine. They fit in the size of a woman’s hand, just the right size”

I thought she was flat chested, so that’s what it was. I unintentionally pictured it.

“Is that so, I wonder? I’ve read somewhere that that an unmanageable size is the best.” Came Yoishoi’s rebuttal. “Oval in shape; white and lustrous, like ripened peaches, or watermelons about to burst. I wanted you to tell me if you had a secret method.”

At the same time as suppressing the delusions bubbling forth, I was cheering Yoishi on to give more descriptions. Suddenly, before I knew it, the maple in the backyard was shaking. Pei-chan was shaking it in order to endure something. Maru-yan was holding it back from shaking desperately. Both their faces were so flush they could burst.

“T-that’s enough! Stop it, this topic of breasts” With Krishna-san’s shy voice, the discussion on breasts was over. The sound of the boiling water became more furious than before, the steam and scent overflowed all the more from the window.

“By the way, why are you clinging to Nagi-kun?” Krishna-san’s inquiry brought about a temporary silence in the bath. That’s right, I recalled as I finally regained control of myself. Certainly, that is a problem. I did say I would show her Eboshi mountain, but at that time it was just a figure of speech, in the first place, mountains of this height were plenty in Tokyo.

“What? Is it inconvenient for you?” Yoishi’s words brought about another silence. Suddenly with a thump, I was struck at my side. When I looked, Pei-chan was glaring at me a dripping nosebleed. Oh, it’s like that, is it you bastard? He whispered. I waved my hands as if to say no.

“To begin with, was your coming here even meaningful? Did you have any interest in the three god manifestation fire festival?” “I did have an interest, but perhaps a different aim than yours”.

“What’s that?”

“Originally, I heard that the festival started as a thank-you to the mountain gods of this whole area that flourished in forestry. However, if we assume that, there will be various inconsistencies.”

“…………..”

“I thought you realized it” ….What is it? What is this discussion? I was puzzled.

“Don’t pry into that, Yoishi.” Krishna-san spoke sternly. “The village has its own circumstances. In ancient places where people live, circumstances which outsiders can’t perceive, those kinds of things. Moreover, in that kind of process, the circumstances pile up. An outsider digging up that kind of stuff isn’t good.”

“Even if that was related to a curse?”

....What? What curse?

“That festival was not born out of thanks or reverence.”

“Even if that were true…” Krishna interrupted Yoishi’s words. “There are many festivals where the conditions changed after many long years. Now, it’s just a festival of gratitude. It’s only held to exorcise any impurity. Don’t speak of what was sealed here once in the past. This town… is tied to that fire festival.”

The conversation had completely become occult focused, my erotic thoughts quickly withered away. These two are always like this. After all, there was never a time when these two got along like young girls playing house with dolls. Nevertheless, standing in the same posture for a long time made my legs go completely numb. I unintentionally staggered from my spot. I ended up leaning on Maru-yan who, in turn pushed down Pei-chan.

“Owww!”

Raising that kind of voice, we fell down in unison. The bat I was holding also dropped down making a rattling noise and breaking the flower pot that had been left there.

“W-who is it?” Krishna-san’s voice roared from the bath, at the same time Maru-yan and Pei-chan dashed out of there. They jumped the fence like flying monkeys and disappeared on the other side. I tried to follow, but my legs were still numb, I made for the fence but my legs slipped and I fell again. This time, a different flower pot was broken.

“Oh! Hey, Yoishi!” When I heard Krishna's voice, I involuntarily turned around. There, in the wide-open bathroom window, stood Yoishi. She was staring intently at me, covered only up to her waist by the wall.

“What are you doing here?”

“Ah... I... Well, it's...”

Despite the light coming from behind her back, which obscured all the important details, I could make out the outline of the girl's body. Her pure white skin and the flawless curves of her figure were capable of depriving me of sleep for years to come.

“Don't forget that if you peek,” she said, looking at me coldly. Something warm dripped from my nose.

“...someone might peek back.”

4

That night, I couldn’t sleep as Yoishi’s naked body kept flickering in my mind. Before I knew it, I was once again drifting in that blue dream world after falling asleep. Looking around me, now I could confidently this place had become a second home for me: The old Japanese style mansion. As always, I began to wander lazily around the mansion. Yoishi was by my side on this day as well.

“Before we wake up, let’s find the entrance of that room.” Her dark eyes shined, with her usual black and white school uniform, she spoke with enthusiasm. Promptly taking the lead and walking forward, she opened the fusuma door completely and wandered around.

“Hold on.”

Still confused between reality and dream, I spoke out to her:

“That was….I wasn’t trying to peep in the bath. I was trying to stop the peeping toms from going there.”

“I don’t care.” Said Yoishi without looking back. “Why does this mansion have a room you can’t get into? Why can’t you go out of this mansion? I want to find that out today.”

….That’s right. This girl didn’t even have a general reaction of being embarrassed when seen naked. She only cares about paranormal events. Going on a trip without bringing a change of clothes, not taking a bath, vomiting everywhere, not helping out at the festival, digging around at the tori of the three god mountain shrine; that’s the kind of girl she was. I had completely forgotten because of that juvenile peeping scene at the bath. Breathing a sigh, I followed her. The darkly glittering floorboard I had gotten used to was cold, and the area was dim. Without knowing why, I thought it was early in the morning just before the sun was about to rise. The air felt tense, as if prickling my skin. It was the first time it was nighttime in this dream. it wasn’t like the filter of a bluish 8 mm film I was used to, it felt as if I were drifting at the bottom of the pale blue sea. The air felt traced with stickiness, I rubbed my boy to get rid of that feeling.

Without a care, Yoishi continued exploring the mansion opening the fusuma doors, I was looking into the rooms after her when suddenly, in one of those rooms, I saw the girl of the mansion sleeping there and became flustered.

“Hey, Yoishi! Everyone is sleeping, leaving the doors open like that is rude.” Yoishi suddenly stopped. And looked back at me and stared at my face intently.

“Did you just say something?”

“What I’m saying is that we shouldn’t leave the doors open for people who are asleep…”

“Where was someone sleeping?”

“Eh?” I took one step back and stood in front of the room the girl was sleeping in and pointed there.

“Isn’t she sleeping there?” Yoishi silently came to my side and took a look into the room. Then silently shook her head.

“I don’t see anyone.”

“Eh? But, the girl of the mansion is—”

Yoishi cut me off halfway: “People are living in this mansion?”

“….You never saw them?”

Ignoring my question, Yoishi continued, asking how many people there were in total.

“Uhhh…. The ones I know of are the head of the household, his daughter, two cousins. Also, the servants are also around here somewhere…”

“What are the characteristics of the head of the house? The daughter? Do the two cousins resemble each other?” Being asked questions in rapid succession, I explained the characteristics of the family as well as I could remember. Yoishi remained silent for a while listening with her hand on her chin, before long she uttered something cryptic.

“The two cousins may be pointing to something”

“The cousins?” I mean, weren’t they just supporting characters? The daughter had been firmly established in my mind as the main character in this dream. However, Yoishi had come up with something, Is that so? She muttered as she suddenly closed the fusuma in front of her. And she vigorously ran off from that place.

“H-hey, Yoishi!”

While I was still dumbfounded, Yoishi was running around the mansion, closing all the fusuma and sliding doors that had been left open.

“Hey, What are you doing?” She didn’t answer. Before long she returned again to where I was standing in front of the daughter’s room when she pointed to the door.

“Open the fusuma”

“Eh?”

“This time, open it with your own hands.” What is she saying? I wondered. Yoishi’s facial expression suggested she would keep silent and not move until I did as she said. It couldn’t be helped, as I turned to face the fusuma door.

Is this what they call a Kayou pattern? The blooming flower was thinly drawn on the fusuma with streamlined brushwork. Finally, I put my hand on the fusuma, but I couldn’t properly put my hand on the fusuma. My fingers slipped as they passed through.

--Ah, that’s right. When I think about it, I hadn’t opened a fusuma door in this dream before. I thought I would try to open it, but each time my fingers didn't work and the sliding doors just moved subtly, so it became troublesome and I passed through as it was. It was a dream after all, I didn’t think it was strange or anything. I was a spirit in this dream after all.

“Isn’t this hard?” I asked Yoishi, who silently opened the fusuma door again, and closed it again.

“It’s simple.”

“…Is that so?” Once again, I tried to put my fingers on the Fusuma. Like before, my fingertips did feel something but, they just ended up passing through and I couldn’t open the door properly. Without knowing why, a chill crawled up from under my feet. Yoishi could easily do something I couldn’t, she also couldn’t see the people in the mansion.

Did she perceive the dream differently from me? No… Thinking about it rationally, Yoishi was a part of my dream, and it would be correct to assume that the Yoishi in my subconscious was saying something weird again.

“That’s enough.” Yoishi nodded slightly. I shook my head.

“Wait. A little bit mor-“

“It’s fine. You can never open the fusuma”

“….What, did you say?” That shouldn’t be possible. It was just because I was lightly drifting around, that was why I couldn’t grab hold. As I was about to say that, Yoishi announced something strange.

“I'm sure that for you, the fusuma is not a thing you can open.”

When I heard those words –I heard a creaking sound from somewhere. It echoed from somewhere in the mansion is what I thought, but in fact, it echoed from inside me. A rustling sound that felt like it had echoed from afar, innumerable echoes ringing, and becoming louder, finally converging together. When I realized they had changed into someone’s voice.

Opening it is forbidden. This room belongs to「xxx」. Absolutely must not be opened. That voice, where was it from? Before I knew it, my knees where trembling furiously. It was incomparable up until now. Even in that strange house, even in that hospital late at night, they had not trembled so much.

“Is it scary?” I heard the usual line from her. “Do you feel fear now?” Those eyes, endlessly dark, filled with unending darkness. I trembled all over; I felt I was confronting something extremely ominous.

Yoishi is not a living human being. If you meet Yoishi by chance, you will die in seven days. Those who come across Yoishi’s ghost stories meet a terrible end. Those kinds of urban legends on the internet were vividly becoming real and cornering my heart and soul. The whole mansion quickly became distorted, and, that might have been because of my scream, I thought. This was not just my dream world: when my heart and soul became exhausted, this world too, would distort. But – Originally it was just supposed to be a dream. And yet, why did things become so fearful? If I wake up now… the usual everyday routine would be waiting for me, wouldn’t it? However, I had been gazing at this dream for too long. And, this dream which already had Yoishi included in it had become a continuous story. Suddenly, I remembered the word: ‘Possessed’. The words spoken by the woman who was with Krishna-san – ‘I was about to step inside’, those words I remembered.

I – looked silently at Yoishi’s face. Is she trying to destroy something important of mine? The moment I realized that, a chill ran down my spine. This blue world was just a dream. It was the same dream I had seen repeatedly, but I wasn't scared to see it. Rather, I had enjoyed wandering about. Certainly, I had felt the presence of a hidden room; it might have been an influence of ‘the house that grants wishes’. This kind of exhaustion hadn’t set in until, she appeared. That’s right; it was her words that had brought upon such hopelessness and distortion. Just by having something connected with her, is enough to manifest a door to the underworld. If she opens her mouth, that door is sure to open. You’ll end up seeing something you’re not supposed to see.

But,

“If, you really are scared…” Yoishi spoke with a different air than usual. “It would be better to not continue from here on.”

“…What?”

“If you continue from here on, you might end up seeing something you’re not supposed to see.”

“………….”

“The thing I can say for sure is that you have to open the fusuma door yourself to finish this dream.”

I didn't understand anymore. The tremors of my feet were even shaking the whole mansion. No, this blue dream world itself was shaking and distorting. It would be the correct decision to end this dream. It would be correct to end it without seeing something I wasn’t supposed to see.

However…

“….Yoishi, I can’t take it anymore.” I spat out. “I didn’t believe you were a cursed person, or that someone would die if they came in contact with you. But I can't do it anymore. I’m scared” I spoke while slapping my shaking knees. “I’m…scared of you.” I knew those kinds of words would usually hurt other people. But I really was a coward after all. I may have liked scary things, but I had no tolerance for them. I realized that I didn't have an inquisitive mind about the strange and unknown like her. My spirit, worn out by various things, was fragile and at its breaking point. It was as if my nerves had peeled out of my skin, on top of that, Yoishi’s words were painful. If I continued to listen to Yoishi, I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that something inside me would crumble and disappear without a trace.

“--I’m sorry.” I bowed my head as I apologized. “Please disappear, Yoishi.” Gripping my trembling knees, I beseeched the Yoishi in my dream. It was a dream I was dreaming willfully, yet, I didn’t want to see her shape anymore, I wished that from the bottom of my heart. Whereupon, something in the blue dream world began to shake; I slowly raised my head to see no one by my side. I looked behind and in the surroundings: Yoishi’s figure had completely disappeared. I let out an unsteady breath, and crumpled to the floor. More so than Yoishi disappearing, it was a sigh of relief that I was once again, in control my dreams.

That’s right… This was after all, my dream in the first place. With renewed confidence, I once again faced the fusuma door.

To end this dream, you must open the fusuma door with your own hands. Whether Yoishi’s suggestion was right or wrong, I had to do it, I thought. There was no reason to not open it. Why would I be scared of something like a fusuma? Why would I be scared of the presence on the other side of the fusuma? If I don’t open this door, I'll keep dreaming this dream for the rest of my life.

“I will end this dream.” I tried to persuade myself as I spoke those words. I placed my shaking fingers on the fusuma’s handle once again. I concentrated my fingertips on the slight texture of the flat surface. Taking a deep breath, I gradually poured my power into it. As if I was breaking an ancient seal, I poured power into my fingers. There was a slight hint of movement, and the fusuma eventually moved. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming light shining at the back, the sound of something breaking violently. However, that quickly passed by and in front of me, the fusuma opened. However,

--However.

“…..What is this?” Before my eyes, there was no trace of daughter’s tidied room from before. Neither the daughter, nor the futon was there. It was like a completely different room. The air pierced my nose; it was a dead room on the verge of collapse that looked like it hadn’t been used for a hundred years.

“…What is this place?” My voice shook; I realized the fear hadn’t gone away.

“That is….?” In the dark interior of the room, something was there. Something was placed on the alcove at the back of the room. My brain felt completely uneasy about trying to understand what lay there. But I realized, Yoishi had said it: it was something I wasn’t supposed to see. However,

I had already opened the fusuma.

I will immediately end this dream. I will return to my normal life. That’s right, with all the courage I could muster, I took one step forward. The sound of the tatami mat bending echoed along with that of a creak similar to that of a person crying. I approached the alcove, and grabbed it.

In the dim light, what stood there was --- an old kokeshi doll.

A kokeshi doll, it had been left there for countless years, without being cleaned by anyone. The brush strokes depicting the soft corner of the eyes, I was about to recall something, when the kokeshi spoke:

“Even after I told you not to open it...”

---

“…Nagi-kun”

I heard a voice. “Get a hold of yourself, Nagi-kun”, there was something reassuring about that voice; the moment I realized who it was, I finally woke up.

“Are you alright?” In the darkly lit room, the one shaking me was Krishna-san. “You were making a lot of noise like you were having a nightmare. Sorry I entered your room because of that” Saying that, she opened the curtain. The moon’s light seeped in; Krishna-san’s figure in her fancy sleep-wear became apparent. “Did you have a bad dream?” She said, as she sat down on the bed, slightly putting her hand on my knee, I became flustered and pulled back my knee.

When I think about it, both Krishna-san and Yoishi were supposed to be asleep in the guest rooms in the first floor. My voice echoed from the room in the second floor – How much did I yell to reach that far?

“Don’t worry.” Krishna-san said with a smile, As if reading my mind. “Yoishi and I were in the same room, I woke up because she was grumbling in her sleep.”

It was my first time seeing Krishna-san without glasses. On top of that, she was too cute in those strawberry pajamas. She was reflected in the moonlight with her smooth bobbed hair slightly disheveled. My heart started beating fast, to hide that I took repeated deep breaths.

“Is there anything troubling you?” Krishna-san asked me. That straight gaze was fixed on the inside of my eyes, as if she could see right through me. I nodded, and began to open up bit by bit about everything that had happened until now. I started talking about seeing the same dream recently, about it being a lucid dream, about the large Japanese style mansion as the setting and it being a continuous story. About the family living there, about there being an unreachable room. Yoishi’s recent appearance in the dream, the dream rapidly becoming creepier due to her. However, while in the middle of my talk, I became sour. I’ve also experienced it. People's nightmares are not scary to hear. Rather, the more desperately we try to convey that fear, the more the listener will be disillusioned.

“Well, it’s that sort of thing, but – It’s not scary, is it?” Hearing me say that, Krishna-san crossed her legs and looked at me with a serious face.

“No-That is, not really a good tendency.” Hearing that unexpectedly serious tone, I unconsciously sat up straight. “A dream is a chaotic piece of memory randomly constructed from your unconscious mind. And, in that dream, the room you can’t go into is – probably… A thing you unconsciously want to forget, that’s a high probability.”

“I was told something similar by Yoishi”, in my dream of course, I added.

“And yet, why did you open it?”

“…..Eh?”

“People are animals that can forget things they don't want to remember. And that especially goes for humans: who have this rare ability. It's an important factor in keeping a human sane. Digging that up as a joke is just problematic.”

It seemed Krishna-san was implicitly laying the blame at Yoishi.

“I’ll give you one stern warning.” With a strict, straight gaze towards me, Krishna-san spoke.

“Don’t associate with her anymore.”

“No, but it’s a dream—” Krishna-san cut me off quietly:

"Listen, Nagi-kun. I told you before. The spirits try desperately to seek meaning. They seek meaning because their existence is weak."

"Yes, but what does that have to do with my dream….?" "In seeking meaning, many ghosts and Yoishi Mitsurugi are almost the same."

“……”

“Maybe she and you -- no, she and all human beings, are in a different place from the very start. Perhaps she is already in the world beyond while still living. We are standing in this world talking about the world beyond, in comparison: she stands alone in the world beyond while talking about the world beyond. That is exactly why her words are filled with gloom, causing fear and anxiety in the listener.”

That’s right, within the dream, the fear I felt was that I was going to be ‘taken away’ by her. To a place I wouldn’t be able to come back from, I wouldn’t be able to wake up again, I thought I would be dragged to the world on the other side. At that moment, above all else: I feared Yoishi. I was frightened by something that could be glimpsed in her dark eyes.

So that is what is known as the power of the world beyond.

“She seeks meaning in the paranormal. She is trying to find something there but, in the first place that itself serves as the motive for the other side. It's not a good thing for a living person to start digging into. There are some things people aren’t supposed to know.” With those words, I remembered that forgotten dark room. There was certainly something over there that made me think I didn't want to stay there for even a minute or a second. I scratched my head, and I asked:

“But –what should I do? How do I stop seeing that dream?”

It’s difficult, replied Krishna as she folded her arms. “If you are conscious of a specific dream, it will inevitably be easier to link with -- The best thing is to turn your consciousness towards something else, like a manga or a novel, until you fall asleep naturally.” With that she looked at me: “But regardless, you too are to blame for seeing the same dream repeatedly.”

“Eh?”

“Didn’t I tell you? You have no tolerance for the occult. In spite of that you’ve ignored my warnings recently. You choose to wander around in the depths of this world by choice. On top of that, doing exactly what a child like Yoishi tells you to do, that’s nothing more than reaping what you sow.”

“T-that’s cruel, please don’t say such coldhearted things.” Without thinking I grabbed Krishna-san’s shoulder, the petite occult site manager jumped in a shock and her cheeks turned flush red.

“A-anyway, as soon as the festival is over, I’ll take responsibility and take Yoishi back to Tokyo, You spend your summer vacation here in your hometown. Your mind and spirit is exhausted from living in Tokyo alone for so long! Got it? Well, Good night!” saying that rapidly like a machine gun, she got up and darted out of the room. For some reason or the other, it seems she realized that she was in a guy’s room late at night, on top of that in her pajamas.

I took a deep breath.

“But, you know...” I gazed at the half-moon from the window. “I was told not to associate with Yoishi ever again but… She’s here until the festival. Even though it’s unpleasant, I’ll end up meeting her somehow”.

To be honest, when I think about it, it’s not Yoishi who I’m afraid of; rather, it’s the words she spits out. For example: What I had been looking at with peace of mind up until now had turning it into something uncomfortable. Making me feel that there was no safe place in this world, that kind of despair. Her words were filled with these kinds of unlucky things.

On the other hand, to call her unpleasant -- I don’t feel that’s the case. She’s a little difficult to approach, and it’s not like I can just call her eccentric or anything.

“Dammit…I don’t know!” Why do I have to be so sleepless about Yoishi? Getting angry at myself with thoughts like that, I got up and left my room. I moved through the dark corridor, passing my sister’s room along the way, going down the stairs to the first floor. I poured myself a cup of water in the kitchen and drank it in one gulp. After idly spending time there for a while, I was about to return to my room, when I realized it…

The second floor, which was added around the time my sister started going to junior high school, had a Western-style structure; the first floor had my parents’ room, the tatami room and the guest room -- Everything was a chain of Japanese style rooms. I think they had been made in such a way to accommodate a large number of guests; however, all of the partitions were fusuma doors.

--You can never open the fusuma.

I recalled the words Yoishi had said in my dream.

“…It can’t be.” Feeling slightly nervous, I proceeded into the corridor, and stood in front of the guest room. Taking one gulp I stretched out my hands, and placed them on the fusuma. I could feel the dry touch on my fingertips. With that, my heart became stronger, and I put all my strength into them. The fusuma opened abruptly. The living room where the party was held the other day spread before my eyes. On the tatami mats, there was a large table, and in the corner, a Buddhist altar. On it, my grandmother and grandfather were smiling peacefully, it was the living room I had been used to since childhood.

“...... That’s right, didn't it always open like this?” Muttering that, I once again moved in the direction of the stairs, once more standing in front of my parents’ room. Taking a gulp, I put my fingers on the fusuma, quietly opening it.

“….It opens. It was just a dream after all, how ridiculous.” as I muttered that triumphantly, in that moment, I realized it.

In that dark room, there was no futon. It was the dead of night, but neither my mother nor father were present. The moonlight shining in from the window was clear and blue. This is, just like the mansion in the dream, dyed in pale blue everywhere. In that room with no one else, the sound of my heartbeat had started reverberating loudly. There’s no way, I muttered.

At that moment, as if being guided by something, my eyes were drawn to the inner part of the room. I noticed a closet was there, and the pattern that was drawn on that fusuma came into view, it was the Kayou pattern…

--You must not open it. --This room belongs to「xxx」, that’s why you must absolutely not open it.

Remembering the voice I had heard in the dream – I staggered into the room. I recalled the story Yoishi had spoken of in the dream, about a dream you couldn’t wake up from. Things that happen in the dream begin to manifest themselves in reality, is what she said.

“No, it’s the other way around.” I said as if trying to convince myself. “I had unconsciously seen this pattern here, that’s why it appeared in my dream." I said that, standing In front of the design that was exactly the same as the one in the dream.

“That’s right, I’m sure of it. That’s why I should be able to open this one as well.”

Up until now I had opened two fusuma doors. Just like those two, it would be fine to try and open this one as well. But – my hands were shaking. My legs were as well, I couldn’t take one more step. Without knowing it, I was sweating. I couldn’t get close to the fusuma which was just a few meters ahead of me.

--It’ll be fine if I do it tomorrow, I thought. That’s right. I shouldn’t push myself. It’ll be fine if I open it tomorrow when it’s daytime.

But, the moment I tried to escape placing my foot at the entrance, I heard a scraping sound behind me. Something cold ran down my back, my legs became petrified.

--What is that sound?

I want to know. But, I don’t want to look. I’m not supposed to look.

My heart began to throb violently.

But, my neck was, slowly turning back.

I didn’t want to know the true identity of that sound, but as if it was being manipulated, my head turned back.

In the dark interior of the room – The fusuma, was slightly open.

It was just a few centimeters, a gap appeared, from which the jet-black darkness could be seen.

From the other side of the darkness, something was peeking at me.

While listening to my screams from somewhere – my consciousness… disappeared.

5

The sound of bursting fireworks reverberated from the other side of the window. The bright sunlight shone in through the curtains and illuminated the room. I opened my eyes – I was, on my bed. About to fall over at any moment because of my bad sleeping posture, I simply looked up at the ceiling in a daze.

“…Is this, reality?” I couldn’t make sense of what was real and what wasn’t anymore. Firstly, I’ll try to pinch my cheeks. It hurts. I couldn’t be convinced with just that, I repeatedly slapped my head. It hurts to a ridiculous extent.

Scratching my hair, I finally let out a deep breath. Standing up, I shifted the window curtains aside and peeked outside. Along the road, I could see many parents and children walking while wearing traditional happi coats. I drew the curtains open fully, and opened the window. The summer breeze blew in, that dense hot air quickly woke me up. From afar, I could hear the sound of laughter and the traditional music. The sunlight was already strong.

I heard the sound of a flute drifting in through the wind from somewhere.

“It’s the festival.”

The day of the Fujieda three-mountain gods’ fire festival had clear weather.

But – The emotional uplift of the festival I was intimate with since childhood had been completely spoiled recently because of the dream I’d been having. How much of a dream was it? I had no idea. If the dream kept itself contained to that residence, then that’s well and good. I’m certain of that much. But afterwards, waking up in the middle of the night and speaking to Krishna-san -- was that part of the dream as well? And after that wanting to drink a glass of water and opening my parents’ room, what about that? And finally, I recalled the thing that was peeking from the fusuma, my body shivered. Unconsciously, I hugged myself with both my arms, and fell to the ground for a minute.

“….Something awful is going to happen to me sooner or later, isn’t it?”

Or rather, am I going to end up devoured by the dream if this continues?

The moment I began to worry –

“Nagi-suke! How long are you gonna sleep for?!” Suddenly, my sister’s voice resounded in from the lower floor, jolting my consciousness to attention. Surprised, I took a glance at the clock at my bedside, it was already past the agreed assembly time of 10’o clock.

“Dammit!” Sloppily combing my disheveled bed hair, I left my room in a rush. Galloping down the corridor, I thundered down the stairs, where I looked into my elder sister's bold eyes on the first floor, my heart suddenly loosened.

“Ah! Sis…”

My spirit, exhausted to its limit because of the nightmares of every day, needed a resting place. There had been a lot of creepy things happening in rapid succession, and I wanted to tell someone about it. I could have told my mother, but I didn’t want to worry her, my father wouldn’t take me seriously, but when I think about it, I think there is only one reliable relative here.

“Sis, please listen to me”. Uttering those words, in the spur of the moment, I extended my arms to try and hug her; instead I received a perfect punch to my stomach.

“Urgh”

“You’re slow, Nagi. How long did you sleep for?”

…Ugh. It’s painful. I can’t breathe. I mean, it really went in there quite deep.

“Everyone is already heading there, you hear? You’re supposed to carry the portable shrine too, aren’t you? Stop dilly dallying and hurry up then!”

Rattling on and on like that, my sister Akari was already dressed in an indigo dyed Hanten. A thin, narrow towel was bound tightly to her forehead, and black trousers going down to her slender legs. Looking at that figure, even a relative like me is fascinated and filled with vigou – no, it’s beautiful.

“…Sis” I said while holding back the pain in my stomach.

“It really suits you.”

“Ha-?”

I had intended to praise her, but for some reason, she raised her sharp eyebrows and glared at me.

“Why are you saying that at this point? Men have been swarming around me since forever.”

“Eh? Aren’t they your henchme…?”

• slap*

Without a moment’s delay, I was struck with the towel she was holding.

“You moron! Don’t call them my henchmen. They’re my followers. They’re good-for-nothings whose souls have been robbed by my charm.”

Good-for-nothings -- Isn’t that rating them rather poorly?

As I continued to be befuddled:

“So, you feel like carrying the portable shrine in that get-up?” My elder sisters’ eyes shined with anger.

“No, of course not. Where is my Hanten?”

“It’s in the drawing room, hurry up and get changed.” Ah, as I moved towards the living room, I remembered something and looked back.

“Sis, where are those two?”

“They already left for the mountain temple. Krishna-chan was looking very beautiful in her yukata”.

Well, that’s what I thought, the problem wasn’t with her.

“What about Yoishi? Did she, properly get dressed for the festival?”

My sister just shrugged “That girl is fine with just a school uniform.”

“I see…” I left to change my clothes right away.

It’s finally time I thought, as I pushed my foot through my trousers, I felt really excited about the festival happening. I put on my jikatabi socks, and wore the hanten. Lastly I tied the workman’s apron, that’s everything. I hung the hand towel from my forehead and left the drawing room where my sister scrutinized me.

“….What is it?”

“Well, you look pretty good in it.”

“Right?”

“Oi! Don’t get carried away. Hurry up and let’s go” Right, I answered.

I wore my sandals at the front door and the moment I left, all traces of that ominous dream vanished.

The day of Fujieda’s fire festival: on this day, almost all the shops in the city are closed, instead people all gather around the festival float. They line up in the open air in great numbers, wearing matching happi coats. With the onset of mid-day, they bring down the portable shrine from the mountain shrine and parade it around town for the whole day. Around night time, the portable shrine, imbued with everyone’s wishes of a peaceful life hereafter, is burned in front of the mountain shrine. Those flames dye Eboshi Mountain in bright red, engulfing the town in a magical glow. That was, what was called the fire festival of the three god’s mountain shrine.

The scorching sunlight kept pouring down from high in the sky, the portable shrine was being paraded in the main street. The men wore black work aprons, while the women were wearing deep red ones, and they all cheered in rhythm each time the portable shrine was raised up in the air. The elderly, the young, men and women, waved traditional fans from the roadside, as they extolled the people holding up the portable shrines. They said their thanks to the portable shrine as the holders danced with it and moved forward. This was the tradition of my town, which has lived in forestry for generations. The carrying pole that was used to hold up the portable shrine, they were made from a warped Japanese cypress called the left cypress found in the deepest forest of Eboshi mountain. The mountain god is said to have passed back and forth there and bended it over on the way through, and is said to be an omen of good luck.

Maru-yan, Ranbashi and the other youngsters of the neighborhood together with me included in the second position as carrier, shouldered the portable shrine together. I took hold of the weight of the carrying poles as it dug into my shoulder, lifted it up, and chanted in unison with the parishioner of the three god mountain shrine. The voices reverberated from the roadside. Matching with the rhythm of the portable shrine, the mountain shrine festival becomes more energetic.

I heard a remarkable shout of encouragement, when I looked it was my elder sister was waving a large traditional Japanese fan. Next to her was Krishna, who wore an indigo-dyed yukata that matched my sister's hanten. They matched each other quite well. Next to her was Pei-chan, wasn’t he clinging a little too much to her? He was grinning while staring at Krishna-san, not even bothering to look my way. My father was already red faced, when the portable shrine passed by him, he looked at me for an instant, but soon someone in the neighborhood association next to him poured him a drink and he turned that way. Next to him was my mother. We made eye contact and she simply smiled. And then -- there was Yoishi. She felt out of place standing there alone wearing a white blouse and black tie; she was gazing intently towards me. In this joyous ceremony, she alone was intently wearing an ominous face. But I courageously raised my voice so much that I didn't care about that. “Youseiya. Seiya. Yosseiya” I chanted, as if I was driving away the dream I couldn’t wake up from, as if I was dispelling every part of me that was clinging to her, I raised the portable shrine. The trees used to build this portable shrine were a gift from the mountain god. They are tempered thoroughly in difficult environments for many long years, finally coming of age. They are then cut down and used for lumber. Afterwards, with the skill and knowledge of the craftsman used, they become our shield from wind and rain. We had been repeating this long tradition since the time of our ancestos. And will continue here forth, as well. We thank the mountains that rise above the earth, thank our ancestors, and pray for sound health in the future. We give thanks for being brought to life.

I entrusted the portable shrine to the next carrier “Ahh, it’s a good festival”. Said Krishna-san who finally came around, drinking the sacred wine she was supplied with.

“Having fun is the most important thing, after all.”

“But, they’re going to be burning that portable shrine from here on, right? That’s just a waste.” Krishna-san muttered, as she fanned me with a traditional Japanese fan.

“That’s right. Six months ago, the youth association and the parishioners of the mountain shrine did their best to make it.” I nodded while dripping with sweat; I wiped my neck with a towel. The time had already around five in the evening; the setting sun dyed the mountains in red. The portable shrine, which had finished its fourth round around, would soon be heading towards the front of the mountain shrine. There the tree has to be returned back to the mountain god, where it would be burned in a grand fire.

“At that time, the lights in the downtown will be turned off with only the light of the iron basket fire remaining, that is the climax. Because it gets so exciting, a lot of couples adhere to this festival.”

“I see. Literally what you call: smokes of love.”

Seeing Krishna-san being reflected in the evening sun like that, I suddenly got curious.

“Krishna-san, do you have a boyfriend?” “……Eh?”

“Well, I asked if you have a boyfriend.” When I did so, Krishna-san’s face dyed redder then the evening sun.

“D-don’t say stupid things! It’s obvious I don’t have one!”

“Well, it’s not so obvious, is it? You’re already twenty, having one or two boyfriends is obvio-..”

“It’s not like that. I’ve never had any. In the first place, I don’t have time to do things like that. There are still many things I want to learn, so many books I want to read. You know the story about with the gardener who fell in love with the emperor's wife?" "If that's how you want to put it, there's also a story about Confucius who tripped when posed with a love problem." I retorted immediately, demonstrating my knowledge of Japanese literature I had recently gained while studying for my exams.

“If you say that, then love is darkness , I’m busy with a different type of darkness.” We were both playing such a type of word game, when:

“Do you dislike long distance relationships?” Pei-chan butted in. “Dance with me in the main stage of the fire festival.”

“Ah… There is a dance?”

Laughing at a flustered Krishna-san, I nodded. “It’s like the dance at the Bon festival. It’s fine if you take it easy and match to the rhythm.”

“I’m in trouble then, it’s like I have no sense for music at all. I’m bad at things like Karaoke.”

Karaoke and a Bon dance are pretty different things, I thought, but seeing Krishna-san this flustered was funny, so I didn’t say it out loud.

“Anyway, I’ve fallen in love with you at first sight, Krishna-san. Please go out with me!” Pei-chan ignored my shocked stare as he lowered his head, at that moment:

“Don’t make me laugh.” Maru-yan barged in the conversation. “I was looking for you all over and here you were; it looks like I made it in time. Krishna-san, this guy is known as the number one playboy in all of Fujieda. If you wish to go out with a young man, then please go out with m—”

“Don’t get in the way, Maru-yan. I haven’t even received a reply yet, that’s unfair!”

“Shut up, you were trying to get a head start, you bastard…”

If Maru-yan or Pei-chan alone were gunning for Krishna-san, I would have had to try and protect her a little, but if the two of them were gunning for her at the same time, they would keep each other in check and it would probably turn out fine.

Anyway, what happened with Yoishi? I looked around restlessly and from a distance, recognized Ranbashi’s tall and thin figure walking vacantly.

“Hey, you happen to know where Yoishi went off to?” Ranbashi shook his head in silence and murmured something.

“What? I couldn’t hear you”

“I was given the cold shoulder.”

“…Huh?”

“I said good evening to her and tried to speak but --- she ignored me and went in the direction of the mountain shrine.”

His tall figure drooped down so low looked comical; I tried frantically not to laugh and asked him in return:

“Being given the cold shoulder? She probably didn’t hear you, that’s all.”

“No, she looked at me once so she should have heard me. Tokyo high school girls really are stubborn.” Ranbashi sighed deeply.

I ran off immediately to look for Yoishi at the mountain shrine. The crowd was overflowing in comparison with the afternoon; I couldn’t run anymore around the area of the Torii gate. Yellow peach-like lights were hung as if to guide people towards the mountain shrine, stalls lined up on both sides drew the attention of the people dressed in yukatas. Trying to weave in between them and moving ahead, I looked for Yoishi. But even when I managed to arrive at the mountain shrine, Yoishi was nowhere to be seen.

--After that, I went up the road approaching the shrine and was around the main shrine when, I heard a long and loud cheer behind me. It seems as if the portable shrine had arrived. The sounds of the cheers were echoing from a distance, I was pushed along with the flow of the crowd heading in that direction. Including the people from the neighborhood town, a large number of tourists might have been mixed in together. Out of all the times I had experienced this festival, this was the biggest crowd I had seen. Countless number of colored Yukata’s piled up – all chanting “Youseiya. Seiya. Yosseia.” However, within that crowd, was a face I thought I knew. I couldn’t immediately recognize who it was. Was it an acquaintance from my high school days? Or was it an acquaintance from much further back. Flickering figures of people, blending together, in that far away distance, that person once again appeared. When I saw that hair style, my heart rang out. It couldn’t be, I gulped. I pushed away the person in front of me as I ran. I chased after that person with all my might. “Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseia.” In between the echoes of those resounding voices, I ran with desperation. A richly colored phoenix enshrined on top of the portable shrine, shines brightly, dances above the crowds. Dissipating fireworks dye the sky. In the illumination of the dropping sparks, I saw it. It was a woman in a yukata with a dyed pattern of gold on a white background. Her long hair carefully tied up, lips softly pursed. And, next to that girl…two boys accompanied her. The two were speaking alternatively to attract the girl’s attention. I was convinced with the way they were paying attention to her.

“Why…is the girl from the mansion in this place?” I chased them desperately, but even though the three did not seem to be in a hurry, they gradually moved away from me. They were supposed to exist only in my dream. Or could it be that I had already seen them somewhere else? Was that the reason? Was that why they appeared in my dream? Moreover, I realized it. The person accompanying behind those three, was the head of the household, wearing a dark face. Behind him was that familiar long and black hair.

“Hey Yoishi, is that you? Why are you…?”

However, the five people seemed detached... They walked through the crowd as if they were illusions mixed in from another other world. Their figures becoming increasingly smaller.

“Wait! Wait a second!” I shouted.

“Oh, Nagito”. Someone grabbed my shoulders. When I turned around, my father was there laughing gleefully.

“You did well in carrying the portable shrine. Here, have a drink” “Hey, let go of me, old man.” I replied, my father’s strength knew no limit when he got drunk. Dammit, in this situation, all I can do is find someone drunk to mingle with him. Isn’t there an acquaintance of my father’s here somewhere, I looked around, and there was my sister, looking even more red faced.

“Oh, so here you were” My sister came close to me saying that line, and without a moment’s delay, put me in a headlock. Even though she’s my sister, she looked pretty glamorous. My right cheek was tightly locked against her breast.

“It’s so much fun, the festival, isn’t it?”

“H-hey, stop it already sis. Let go already sis!”

“Say, Nagi. You think the same, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so but, there’s someone I have gotta go afte-“

“It’s fine.” My elder sis said that while still holding me firmly down under her armpit. “Just stay here.”

“…Huh?”

“Just stay here and don’t go back to Tokyo. That would be what’s best for you.”

“Stay here? What about my university?”

“University? I was against it, wasn’t I? You have everything here. Nature, people who care about you, the mountain god will protect you. That’s right; you just marry that Krishna-san, and live here. That girl will make a good wife for you. She’s the type who can easily give birth, I guarantee it.”

In terms of disposition, well, I agree, but --- isn’t that jumping too far ahead? The moment I thought I would say that out loud. My sister’s voice changed to a lowered one, as if reverberating from beneath the surface.

“But that other girl is no good, she can’t stay here.”

Hearing that shuddering voice like a man’s, my feet hardened. “Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya.” The reverberating chants of the fire festival echoed in my ears, as if they were heard from another world, as if they were faint ripples of waves. I felt the color in my vision quickly fading away.

“Sis, let go of me! Seriously!” I meant to shout that out. But, my voice wouldn’t come out. Breathing – was hard. Around me, the air was disappearing. As if I had dived into the depth of the ocean, the oxygen was depleting --- and, all that was left inside me was absolute fear in its primordial state. When I was a kid, I had tasted this feeling of despair too many times.

“Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya”. The festival was coming to a boil. Crowds of people were pushing up towards the mountain shrine.

“Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya”. “Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya”. “Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya”.

As if a Buddhist prayer was being chanted, it echoed all around me, and within those shouts:

“S-stop it!” With my full strength put into it, I wrestled free of my sister’s arm. Clutching my throat like that, I ran. My breathing – I couldn’t breathe well. Was it because I was feeling shaken? My asthma attacks had completely returned.

In a world that was rapidly deteriorating, I kept running. I desperately kept running, even though I was bumping into people. Even as my tears welled up, I kept coughing violently. However, the fresh air was not reaching my lungs in the least.

--Mother...

In a soundless voice, I shouted.

--Help me, mother.

That’s right. If that hand would rub my back, everything would turn out fine. These asthma attacks would always settle down with that.

--Where is she? Where is my mother?

Everything was hazy. Only the flames of the iron basket fire danced and flickered, as if they guided me. Black, red, white and yellow. In this hazy world, only that light flickered. It would take fifteen minutes to run to my house from the mountain shrine. On top of that, it’s not guaranteed that my mother will be at home, because it was the middle of the festival. Moreover, when I can’t see the landscape in this situation, how am I supposed to find my way to her?

--Nagito. In that instant, I thought I heard my mother’s voice, I shouted back in response. However, that voice too, was drowned out in the hustle and bustle of the festival. Youseiya. Nagito. Nag--Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya. --to. Nagito. Youseiya. Seiseiya. Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya. –to. Nag—Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya. Nagito. Youseiya. Seiseiya. Youseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya.

“Mother, mother, mother!”

Within those repeated chants, I shouted in reply, I ran. I kept running. Dammit, move. Please get out of the way. I can’t breathe anymore. I’m -- going to end up dead. My legs got tangled, I was about to lose my balance and fall into the crowd when – I tumbled into the place that abruptly opened. It was subdued in darkness.

No—

In that place, there was no surface, just a floating piece of ground that continued to disappear --

In that murky, unending darkness, I was swallowed whole.

---

There was a quiet sound of the fusuma opening. Someone drew near, as if to hug my head, they embraced me. I rested my head on that person’s lap, and, I felt a warm hand touching my back, as if stroking it, as if massaging it, that warm hand kept going back and forth across. Before I knew it, I could breathe once again. I continued breathing with comfort. As I kept breathing, my heart calmed down.

I slowly raised my head.

With soft narrowed eyes, my mother was looking at me. Unawares, I had managed to make it back home. I was in my mother’s familiar room, and found myself lying on my mother's lap, using it as a pillow. “Did your cough settle down?”

Being spoken to in such a kind voice –

It was a pretty pathetic thing for an eighteen year old but, my tears almost spilled over.

“Mother, I, I was –“

“Yes?”

I was always into strange and mysterious stories. I also had an interest in scary stories. I was frequenting an occult site. I really loved that creepy feeling and that world where common sense didn’t apply. And I only planned on enjoying that world from the outside. But, before I realized – I had crossed a line. If you take a peek, you end up being seen from the other side as well. I thought I knew that. But before I knew it, my feet had already stepped into Ikaigabuchi. I had crossed a distinct line that separates the dead and the living.

“Hey, mother.”

I thought –

“’I’ve been a weirdo for a long time.” At last, I spat out those words.

“….I, I was, In Tokyo, the first house I lived in, I realized I was not in control of myself. I was possessed by something; I later realized that as if it was someone else’s problem. Nevertheless, even after I was told not to go, I went to an abandoned hospital. I suffered through much more eerie things when I was there. Even if I talked about them, you wouldn’t believe the dreadful things I suffered through. However, thanks to the help of various people, I was able to survive. I was safely able to return back. But, I’m – once again, being drawn to somewhere. Towards that darkness -- towards something present in that darkness. I don’t know what that thing is. In that terrible dream I was dreaming for so long, I’m being drawn to something inside that fusuma. I can’t stop myself. I can hear the voice in my head telling me to stop. But, I think I want to try and sink in. I want to try and entrust my body to it. When I try and tell myself not to go, I still end up going. Why is that? I don’t know.”

In the middle of the conversation, my knees began to tremble, I stuttered between words. But my mother, without rushing me, just listened silently. Sometimes, my breathing became difficult but, I felt like I couldn't escape this suffering unless I spat it out, so I fervently continued speaking. All the doubts I had been holding about myself for so long, I confessed them all to my mother.

“No matter what I do, I end up going along with my heart’s desire to see that something present on the other side. Does that mean, In short, that I’m already swallowed by the darkness?”

That must mean –

I’m already --

“I’m broken, right?”

I spat out the dark and sinister thoughts that had been wriggling inside me for a long time, I knew that admitting them would destroy my core identity as a human being. But, I felt I couldn’t move forward if I kept fooling myself any longer. I feel like I’m going around in circles unless I admit that I’m scared of that possibility – Like Yoishi always did – I spat everything out.

After the long conversation was over, every part of my body was so weak that nothing even mattered anymore. Only the dim light provided comfort, and my back continued to be massaged, I wanted to sink into the darkness, I thought. “I thought it was about time.” Suddenly, my mother spoke in a whisper.

“I knew that someday, a time would come where you would choose to walk your own path.” Not knowing the meaning, my startled body rose up.

For who knows how long, sitting next to me, was Yoishi Mitsurugi. Dark eyes, filled with a seemingly sad light, fixedly stared at me.

“W-why…are you?”

The embarrassment of being seen with tearful eyes as I made feeble complaints to my mother, quickly changed to anger. This is my place. It's the only place where I can recover as myself.

I moved my body, as if to signal her to get out, at that moment—

“That young lady is not a bad girl”. My mother’s silent whisper echoed in the room.

“She can surely exorcise your darkness.”

“--Eh?”

“From here on, Listen to her words carefully, and see things properly with your own eyes.”

Yoishi just sat there in silence, I objected.

“Her? No mother, you probably don’t know, but, this girl has a psychic power. With her, she might suddenly receive some strange message, in other words, she has no interest other than horror stories, she doesn’t take baths, she can’t read the atmosphere, she vomits everywhere-“

“Nagito, that’s not it”. My mother shook her head, and whispered once more. “That’s not it.”

“Only those who know the darkness know the value of the light.”

With those words, my mother... disappeared from sight.

After that, only the silence and the dark remained. My house was illuminated solely by the light of the pale blue moon. My parents’ room: There are still signs of my mother here and there, but this was a room with only me and Yoishi present.

“I—“

With that hoarse voice, I collapsed onto the frayed tatami mat. Why am I here? Where did my mother go to, she was just here… The festival – my father, my sister, Krishna-san, Maru-yan, Pei-chan, Ranbashi, where was everyone? I didn’t understand anything anymore. I couldn’t grasp hold of the situation. I didn’t know where I was standing. What is a dream? What is reality? I didn’t know anymore. Information was all mixed up in a jumble inside my head.

“No….”

Lying in the corner of my head, I found that cold ‘answer’. If I were to explain everything with a simple answer, I had already found it.

--I’m broken.

For a long time, I had already --been broken, from the start. Otherwise, there was no way to explain the phenomenon that had occurred so far.

“The act of giving meaning to the the thoughts of the dead in the reality in front of you is what is called a curse.” Yoishi spoke under the moonlight.

“In other words, a phenomenon in which you can think and move in only a single direction. That is to say, a very strong and firm curse has been placed upon you.”

--A curse?

“But – given that there is no malice there, I don’t know what to do. “

Malice? A curse? Ridiculous. She is trying to confuse me again. It shook the roots of my heart. Just hearing her words is enough to cause anxiety. She is trying to drag me down again somewhere.

“Listen to her words carefully from here on, and see things properly from now on with your own eyes.”

But, my mother’s words from a few moments ago were still ringing in my ears.

“What should I do?” I asked in a shivering voice. “Yoishi… what should I do?”

“To put it simply, open it.” The place Yoishi was pointing to, it was the Kayou patterned fusuma.

“That fusuma, when it’s opened with your own hand, everything will be over.”

But that moment, I heard the sound of footsteps from the hall.

“Nag-suke!” The voice rang out. When I turned around, there was my sister, wearing her hanten dress. Behind her, was Krishna-san who was out of breath, my father and Maru-yan. Pei-chan and Ranbashi rushed in in soon after.

“Everyone….”

As I rose to my feet, my sister at the head shouted. “You idiot, Where did you go in the middle of the festival?!”

“No, I was…”

“Didn’t I tell you not to associate with Yoishi” Wearing a yukata, Krishna-san’s cheeks were swelled up. At the same time, everyone started speaking to me all at once. I had been possessed by the evil mountain god, according to my father. This festival is to save your spirit, said my sister. If I’m going to have a wife, it’s definitely going to Kurimoto-san, said Maru-yan. That girl is so pretty, said Ranbashi as he stared at Yoishi. Look, the portable shrine is coming, said Pei-chan as he laughed. “Seiseiya, yosseiya”, and then I heard the music from the festival. It was getting closer. I knew the portable shrine was coming close to my home. I was in a daze, just standing there and looking at everyone as the sounds piled on each other.

“It’s alright.” Yoishi whispered slightly. “They can never enter this room.” With those words, I realized that neither my sister, nor the others had stepped foot into the room. And with Yoishi speaking those words, they were all thrown into disarray at once, shouting something incomprehensible. I registered their words simply as noise; I couldn’t understand what they were saying. But, in this dim and hazy world, my nose smelled something. When I looked, I could see shadows swaying behind the sliding door, an orange light flickered.

“Hey, this house, it’s burni—“I was cut short when I saw it, in the direction of the hall. There was something fallen behind Ranbashi. It was a yukata with a white background. The center of the yukata was stained dark red. It was the daughter from that residence, completely motionless. Her stomach was split open, her entrails strewn all over. As if they were fighting over the spilled entrails next to her, the two cousins also lay there. Likewise, their navy blue yukatas were completely drenched. The two had stabbed each other with a sharp knife, dying together. A little further away, the lord of the mansion was also collapsed. His neck was lurched in a strange way. In my burning house, dead bodies and the festival manifested at the same time.

“It’s alright.” Spoke Krishna-san. “This is a mistake. They ended up mixed in this. That’s why they’re dead. But the next time you go to the mansion, the original outcome will be waiting for you.”

That kind of impossible to understand thing, was spoken from that usually logical tone of voice.

“The amalgamation has already begun.” Yoishi spoke.

“It is no longer consistent.” I dumbfoundedly looked over to Yoishi, who muttered while kneeling down. “If this were the real mountain festival, the torii should have been turned in the direction of south east in order to return what you received.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The iron basket fire should not have moved. That night, I told you that the iron basket fire of the mountain gods’ shrine had moved.”

“…What does that mean?”

“The fine details of the dream come from the limits of the dreamer's memory.”

“If someone from outside the dream influences it, it will change. If you pull it, it will come towards you. If you push it, it will pull you. If you shake it, it will shake.

…In short, what is it? What do you wanna say?

“I only wanted to try and press the point you were not confident about. That’s why: the iron basket fire moved.”

“Like I said already, that is—“

What did it mean?

Those words didn’t come out of my mouth. I already understood. I realized what Yoishi was trying to say. However, I was too afraid to accept the truth -- it would destroy everything.

“The curse that has been cast upon you – What should it be called? I don’t know the answer.” Yoishi whispered in a somewhat sad tone.

“But-“

“What lies behind the fusuma is not what you would call a mother.”

Something streamed along my cheek. I slowly wiped it with my hand and found it to be tears. Before I knew it, I had begun to stagger my way to Yoishi’s side. In my back, my father and the others shouted at me to stop. But, I slowly neared the fusuma in the back. Pushing my way through the frayed tatami, I stood in front of the Kayou-patterned fusuma, which stood solemnly in the darkness.

I extended my hand, placed my fingers on the fusuma – in the same breath, I opened it.

“…..It can’t be.”

On the other side of the fusuma I had thrown open, was the kokeshi doll I had seen in the dream. With soft, narrow eyes, an antiquated kokeshi. The kokeshi was clad in some kind of cloth.

Dragging my shivering legs, I neared the kokeshi, I grabbed the cloth.

“….It can’t be” I felt that voice didn’t belong to me. I thought I heard it from a tear in the corner of the world somewhere.

That cloth was –

The red cardigan I had given to my mother.

“You’ve been speaking alone in front of this fusuma for a long time.” Whispered Yoishi, who was suddenly standing by my side. “—saying mother, mother. That -- is the true face of the curse that has been cast upon you.” I heard a crack, the sound of the whole mansion grating. It sounded like the whole world was being squeezed from the outside.

“Nagi-suke! it’s all a lie. Don’t be fooled!” When I look back, my sister was outside the room extending her hand towards me. My father just smiled with wrinkles on the corners of his eyes, Maru-yan waved. Pei-chan and Ranbashi both laughed as if they were having fun, at the center, the petite Krishna-san extended her hand and yelled at Yoishi not to take me away. My hometown was there. Fujieda’s dense greenery came into view. The warm sun blazed down and the wind blew past my side. It was just like before, the peaceful hometown where I lived. Behind them, it was very bright. In contrast, there was only darkness behind me. There was only a dark colored girl besides me.

“You must choose.” Yoishi, said as she took my hand. “A world of comfort… or a world filled with pain.”

Don’t mess with me, what do I choose?

I shook my hand off as I shouted at Yoishi. But, no words came out of my mouth. Isn’t it obvious that it would be better to live in comfort? I’ve had enough of creepy worlds. I don’t have the resistance for it anymore. That’s right, unnoticed, I had started dreaming again. If I return to that side, I’d be able to return to my every-day life. What happened to the festival? It should still be halfway through. I had become exhausted from various things, and ended up in this dream.

But, as I stepped towards the bright world, I met eyes with the person standing furthest back, my mother who stood with a reserved manner. She loosened her cheeks slightly, and showed me a smile of contentment. With everyone desperately stretching out their hands out towards me, I had a strange sensation. Seeing me stop my legs:

“Hurry up and come here, Nagi-kun!” Krishna-san held out her hand again.

“Nagi-suke, you idiot, hurry up and get over here.” Shouted my sister.

“Your mother is here, right? What are you hesitating for?!” My father turned red in anger.

“Tokyo is impossible for you.” Maru-yan laughed as he tried to make fun of me.

“Bring Kurimoto back home with you.” Pei-chan waved with both hands, Ranbashi just kept staring at Yoishi, spellbound.

“Everyone…” With a hoarse voice, I struggled towards the edge of the room.

“Everyone, help me.” As I spoke that out loud, I was hugged tightly. Was it my sister, my father, or my mother, I didn’t know. But, I was in the midst of peaceful warmth. I am blessed. I am loved. I can live here in peace without any discomfort.

“That’s right.”

“This place suits you.”

“You made a mistake going to Tokyo.”

“Well then, let’s go to the festival.”

“That’s right, isn’t it the climax from here on?”

“Let’s make some noise with everyone.”

“Return back to how you were before.”

“Come back, Nagito.”

“Nagito.”

“Nagito.”

-Nagito.

A great many voices chanted in unison close to my ear. Each one of them accepted me. I could live with peace of mind here. If I were to ever fall down, there would be someone to pick me up. If there were fun times, there would be people who would be happy with me; if there were sad times, there would be people who shared in my grief. I would be a part of that, the me that would exist there would be the true me.

--Come here.

Amidst the many overlapping voices, I managed to squeeze out my voice.

“Ah, I’m coming. I’m going over to that side. But, Yoishi, as well—“

---She is not allowed. With that voice, I raised my head in surprise.

“…Why?”

---She will destroy this place, that’s why.

--She will destroy this peaceful world.

“Why… would she destroy it?”

-xxxxx

…What is it?

-xxxxxx

“…Can’t you answer?”

With my face becoming soggy with snot and tears, I spoke out.

“Then, I’ll say it.” I felt a shiver as my surroundings moved.

“That is --- she -- it’s because she doesn’t deceive. She has no restraints, nor taboos. She has no connection to god or devil. She’s never able to read the situation; no matter how inconvenient the truth is, she never runs from it, but instead, digs it up and exposes it.”

With those words, the grating noise of the world throbbed violently like a storm, banging in my eardrums. I couldn’t discern anybody’s voice anymore; their voices were mixed in with the chants of the festival.

“Seiya. Seiya. Yosseiya. Seiseiya. Yosseiya-” As I hummed along with the noises, I remembered.

The fire festival was—

A festival of purification.

To return everything to its original state.

--Nagito.

I didn’t know whose voice it was anymore, a profusely impatient voice struck my ear—

--Don’t get swallowed up by the nightmare.

--Hurry up and come back to the fire festival.

With those words, I replied: “No”, and walked away from there.

“Everything was in reverse.”

Without wiping away the tears, I spat it out:

“You guys – are just a dream.”

6

An innumerable bundle of light kept rotating. It became a spiral, then scattered, winding round and round as it made up the world. Finally, the light slowly came to a stop – forming the brand new wallpaper on the ceiling as I regained consciousness.

I realized it was the apartment I was paying fifty thousand yen in rent for, in Musashino. The blurred world gradually regained its features, and it was Krishna-san who first caught my sight.

“Are you awake, Nagi-kun?”

I took a long, deep sigh of relief; I knew I had survived an unfathomable abyss.

“You’ve been asleep, for three whole days.” With those words, I realized there was someone standing next to Krishna-san.

“…You idiot” It was my sister Akira, sobbing.

“I was contacted by Kurimoto-san, how dare you make me waste my paid vacation?” She blasted at me with her eyes filled with tears. Behind Krishna-san and my sister was Karasu-san. Next to her, was the Buddhist priest I knew from before and a stranger dressed in a kimono with a hakana. In my faint consciousness, I wondered if my apartment was over capacity.

“Everything is thanks to her, be grateful.” Krishna-san pointed at Yoishi Mitsurugi. But she was right next to me with her eyes closed as if she were dead. Her pale, transparent skin, had no trace of blood. She really looked like she was dead.

“She was the one who told us you wouldn’t wake up.”

According to her, Yoishi had once again come to my house around midnight. Why she did so, voluntarily, is because she realized that something abnormal had happened to me. She quickly contacted Krishna-san, came up with something, and was found sleeping next to my side ever since.

“If a catalyst with a strong disposition like hers didn’t intervene in your dream, you likely would have continued to stay asleep in that state.”

I began to understand my situation with Krishna-san’s words. I had been dreaming. I had been seeing a dream within that dream, and I was struggling desperately to wake up from that dream, And in order to end that dream, I was almost engulfed by the dream.

However, I still wasn’t convinced.

“Is this really... reality?”

The petite occult site manager slowly shook her head.

“I can’t guarantee that. Dreams are scary. They are tied deeply to human consciousness. In short, when you dive into the world of the deep subconscious, it’s basically impossible to conclude if it’s a dream or not. That’s why, lucid dreams are so rare. ”

I reeled in the threads of my hazy consciousness, and looked towards my sister.

“Sis..”

“…Yeah?”

“Mother is...—“

“…What about mother?”

“—I…killed her.”

As I spoke those words, the broken fragments of that dream became whole again.

“That’s, not true.”

“But…”

“That’s not true. That’s not what happened, Nagi.” My sister spoke as she took hold of my lying figure.

“You were convinced about that for a long time. Always blaming yourself – That’s why this happened.”

My sister told me everything:

When I was eight years old – my asthma wasn’t just infantile asthma, but Antitrypsin Deficiency, a disease that requires an early healthy lung transplant. For that sake, my mother who was the same blood type was recommended to transplant part of her lung. But, my mother who already had thin blood vessels around her heart, couldn’t withstand the operation. The transplant was a success but, my mother didn’t return.

“After the operation, you cried and cried, asking where mother went. I ended up saying it to you – mother is inside the fusuma.”

“…….”

“From here onwards, she will stay inside the fusuma but, she’s always by your side.”

--Ah.

If you hear it from someone, you would probably laugh it off as a silly story. But, at this moment, I began to recall the scene I had forgotten up until this point. That is: one evening, our living room was dyed in orange. I was in primary school, crying alone in my mother’s room. My sister came and hugged me tight.

--You can’t open this fusuma. My sister surely said that.

-If you open it, mother will die.

That lie, spoken in desperation by my twelve year old sister: saved the balance of my heart from collapsing. And, the rupture in my heart was stopped in a distorted way. My mother… wasn’t dead. She just couldn’t come out from the fusuma.

--That kind of warped understanding quickly took root in me and hardened. When I returned from school, I would stand in front of the fusuma and say my greetings. I spoke about what happened with me throughout the day to the fusuma. If anything troubled me, I would discuss it with the fusuma. And, I would be looked at in a sad way by my father and sister. But, that sad gaze, I interpreted it as it being my fault that my mother would not emerge from the fusuma. Eventually, I stopped caring about that gaze, and continued to talk together with the fusuma, freely and openly –We lived that kind of warped daily life, and now is the first time I feel how messed up it all was.

“Nagi-kun” Krishna-san peered into my eyes as she spoke.

“That’s what a person’s death is. It takes time to comprehend it. It took you ten years, but, there are still people who can’t accept it throughout their whole lives. And – that is a form of ghosts.”

Ghosts-

I was drawn to them, I chased them, and I involved myself with them -- the weak existence called ghosts.

It had all been a waste. That -- had already been present inside me, since long ago. Nestled close to my broken heart, it helped me

“That’s right.” Krishna-san nodded kindly. “Even thought it might be called a curse from its start, it never had any malice.”

Tears spilled down from my sister's big eyes as Krishna-san said that.

--There was never any malice?

Those words seemed to sink into my brain, when I suddenly remembered. I quickly got up.

“What about Yoishi? When is she gonna wake up?” I asked that as Krishna-san quietly looked towards the man in the back. An effeminate man dressed in a blue dyed kinagashi. He shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant way. That detached manner made me remember. This guy… isn’t this bastard the one who Krishna-san called her master? He chanted ‘Out’ to me that one time I was in agony.

“Hey, don’t mess with me. Are you trying to save face like that as Krishna-san’s master?”

I stood up, and drew near to that guy.

“Nagi-kun, stop” Krishna-san stopped me in my tracks, but I didn’t completely settle down.

“So in short, Yoishi entered my dream to try and save me, right?” As I tried to get a confirmation, the man broadly grinned and nodded.

“Then it’s simple. You do as I say. Return me to that dream one more time. Take me to the place where she is. From there on, I’ll go and bring her back.”

“Hey now, don’t make unreasonable requests.” The man raised both his hands in an exaggerated pose as if giving up. “Do you even know what it means to link a person’s self-consciousness to a dream? Common sense doesn’t apply there. People can only ‘think’ when they know where they are standing. If it’s a normal person, it will be difficult for them to preserve their sanity, right? Besides that, you have already been made aware that the dream is a distortion. By now, your brain should be working on the restoration in a hurry. It’s basically impossible to find your way to the same place, and even if you were to do that, it would be recognized as a distortion once more, and the probability of you ever waking up again will be slim to none.”

“Then, what is going to happen to Yoishi? Is she just going to continue sleeping like this?” I yelled as my saliva went flying, Krishna-san took over.

“Listen to me, Nagi-kun. No matter how strong a catalyst is, it's usually impossible to establish your ego when linking to a person's dream. But she was able to do it. Due to the fact that she was able to do it, albeit with some luck, I was able to confirm to some extent, about the essence of the girl named Yoishi Mitsurugi.”

“Confirm? What do you mean?

“Perhaps we and she, the places we stand are distinctly different.”

Those words, made me feel déjà vu. Right, I had heard those words used somewhere before –

“What did Yoishi Mitsurugi lose? What was the cause that made her that way? I don’t know the reason. But she already stands in the world beyond. Alive in the physical sense, but dead in the spiritual sense, an existence synonymous to that of many ghosts.

--Yoishi, is not a living person.

The absurd rumors that were circulating on the internet, I recalled them.

“In other words, we are standing in the living world while talking about the world beyond, in comparison: she stubbornly, talks about the world beyond while in the world beyond. That’s why --her words shake us, who live in this world. That is wh--”

“Her words are filled with gloom, causing fear and anxiety in the listener, right?”

As I whispered that, Krishna-san stared at me in wonder. That’s right – I remembered.

I had definitely heard these words in my dream. That was – the moment I woke up in the blue room in the mansion. Krishna-san who had come to check up on my state had said the same words.

“The same lines were said to me in the dream by Krishna-san. And at that moment, I…I thought Yoishi had dragged me down into that creepy world. Because of her, the situation was headed in a worse direction. And…”

I waved my hands in a panic to Krishna-san who was speechless.

“No, it’s like I’m blaming you or anything. The Krishna-san in my dream that spoke those words was an illusion created by my weak heart. It’s just…I was really cold to Yoishi since she had come into my dream. At the end, I even became convinced that she was some sort of monster. Up until I was admonished by my mother, I really wondered whether Yoishi was some kind of monster, like the rumors on the net had said.”

But – That’s not it. If what that kinagashi wearing bastard said is true, she took an absurd risk when she arrived in my sub-conscious. Without knowing if she could make it back in safety, she walked with me together in my twisted world.

Why was that? Why did she do that for me?

“I have to find out why that was. Why did she do such a dangerous thing for me? I need to ask her directly.”

I spoke that with utmost seriousness, but… “You don’t know why?” With a sharp glare, Krishna-san clicked her tongue. “Young men really are hopeless, insensitive creatures. I’ve had enough then; I’ll say it in place of her. Why, did Yoishi Mitsurugi save you? It’s because you didn’t throw away that notebook until the very end!”

“…Huh?”

“You are essentially worthless, a foolish, unprincipled, weak willed, hopeless idiot. And yet, for some reason you still continue to thrust yourself into the paranormal, even sympathizing with the suffering of the dead. After sympathizing, you tried to walk together with it. You absolute moron! But that’s not something just anyone can do. A fool you may be, however, as a human that is a valuable quality, like that of a jewel. And a girl is extremely weak for that sort of thing.”

“……………..Ehhhh?”

“That girl, she helped you with super-logical methods so many times. Without even being a specialist on the occult, she spread those dangerous self-responsibility-type ghost stories in this world to try and save you. Why does she, who is extremely detached with the living, take such actions only for you? --- Understand that much, you fool!”

“N…now, wait a second.”

I—wasn’t that kind of outstanding human. I was just an indecisive, illogical, warped asshole. In the past, I suffered to the point I thought I was gonna die, that’s why I ended up having sympathy for that boy from the notebook. I just knew that the pain would be lessened tens of thousands of times just by having someone by my side.

“I understand that, but as a human being, your respect-worthy nature is a double-edged sword. If you continue doing things like this, you’ll only have a few more years left to live.” “….Eh?”

“I once told you that you were not suitable for having an interest in the occult, but I said that out of utmost concern for your nature. As long as you have that nature, you will continue to be involved in the affairs of the other side. And no matter how much you try to stay in this world, you will be dragged to the other side, whether you want to or not. That's why I kept telling you not to get involved with Yoishi, that's what it means to confront a girl standing in the world beyond.”

At long last Krishna-san stopped to catch her breath, and took a big gulp of tea from the plastic bottle next to her, draining it, and turned around to face me once again.

“But are you still resolved to get involved with her?”

“……..”

“To save a girl like her, a half-hearted resolve won’t do. If you do things half-heartedly, both of you will end up destroyed. You must step forward, and confront her with the determination of putting your whole life to it. If you do that, a miracle might happen.”

“Wait a minute, Kurimoto-san.” Behind Krishna-san, the kinagashi wearing man shrugged his shoulders. “Shouldn’t you be stopping him?”

“I know it already! But I’m sorry, it’s useless! It’s like I’m not even here! Since I’ve met him, Nagi-kun has never listened to what I said.”

….Stop, it’s painful to be talked about like that by such a tearful face, but, as I continued to be heaped upon by Krishna-san’s passionate criticism – I kept thinking about only one thing in the back of my head. That is, the words I yelled just before I woke up from the dream. Yoishi doesn’t run from reality -- I was able to get out of there by saying those words to some strange thing that tried to confine me in a dream world.

“In the first place, it’s harsh to think that she doesn’t want to return to this world", the kinazashi man whispered as if he were humming a song. As usual he was acting as if it were someone else’s problem.

But his words struck some part of me like a bolt of lightning.

…That’s right, her not coming back, wouldn’t it be a betrayal of the conclusion I drew, those words I uttered about Yoishi in those last moments of conflict? If she didn’t come back, wouldn’t that mean she ran away?

And at that moment, I finally saw what it was that I should do. Why did she go through all the trouble of descending to the depths of my dream? I understood the real reason.

“Only those who know the darkness know the value of the light, right?”

“….What did you just say?” Krishna-san tilted her head, I replied, ‘No’, and shook my head.

After that, I lay down once more. I rested both my hands on my stomach, deliberately wearing a smile, and forcefully said.

“I’ll be back, and I’ll definitely bring her with me.”

---

The blue world was filled with white smoke. Sounds of crackling fires bursting here and there, the smoke rose up in the air. However, because it was a dream, it wasn’t hot at all.

It couldn’t be helped that my vision was bad, for the time being I tried my best to remember the layout of the mansion while moving towards the interior.

That closed room --- I ran as fast as possible to the daughter’s room. Fallen down all around were smoldering pillars and fusuma doors. I kicked them away as I continued forward, before long I could see the white blouse in the back, Yoishi’s slender figure was visible. What was she doing, playing around with that kokeshi, while everything continued to burn around her?

“Hey, Yoishi. Let’s go back.” I called out to her from behind, Yoishi continued to stroke the kokeshi and whispered:

“Why did you deliberately give birth in the fire?”

“What did you say?”

“Konohanasakuya-hime was distrusted by Ninigi, why did she do such a thing?”

“How should I know? It was such a long time ago”.

For now, I put my hand on her arm and motioned for her to get up and she said. “Undoubtedly, she thought about disappearing for a moment.”

I stopped my hand at her words.

“Being suspected by the person she loved, Konohanasakuya-hime lost her place in this world.” Yoishi raised her face in the direction of the burning flames. Beyond the fallen sliding doors, was the courtyard of the mansion. And there, the daughter of this mansion was looking up at a plum tree, as if she couldn't see the burning flames. Her eyes squinted slightly; she gently stroked a small flower bud on the verge of blooming. And – next to her, the two cousins were there, looking up at the plum tree with a gentle expression I hadn’t seen before.

“Why didn’t I realize it before?”

I sat down next to Yoishi, and spoke my thoughts out loud.

“Is that…me?”

The two who were fighting over the daughter, the faces of both cousins --- they were just like identical twins, with the same eyes and ears everywhere. You could say if it was a face I was tired of looking at -- my own face.

“One of them protects the daughter.” Yoishi spoke, “And, the other you who tries to kill her.”

That moment, I finally realized it, who it was the daughter’s face resembled. That’s right – it was the face of my mother. It was an illusion carved from my memory that beautified and rejuvenated her.

“That’s right – the family that lives in this mansion is based on the emotions inside you."

“Then…” I pointed. “Who is the man looking at the daughter and the cousins from far away?”

“I think he represents your family which can’t support either one of you.”

Finally the scattered pieces began to come together.

The daughter pours her love into all these people. One cousin is the part of me that wants to live on, even after gaining my mother’s lung. The other cousin is the part of me that won’t accept that. To the bitter end, they quarrel over the daught—no, my mother. However, the head of the household, who can support neither side, and only stand there from a distance bewildered – That was -- an exact microcosm of my home from back then.

But now, all four of them were smiling together, looking up at the plum tree. It was a sight I should have seen some day. But, it was an illusion where the family members were smiling without being distorted.

“This place is comfortable to live in.” Yoishi spoke as she stared at that sight.

I stood up in silence and I put my hand on Yoishi’s shoulder.

“Let’s go back, Yoishi.”

I gazed at the mansion, whose outline grew more and more ominous.

“This is my dream. I created this world to avert my eyes from the pain of reality.”

But Yoishi didn’t move an inch. With her white hands, she gripped the kokeshi doll tightly, and whispered in a hoarse voice.

“You…Perhaps you should have lived the rest of your life here without ever opening it.”

My breath stopped at those words.

“There are things in this world that you shouldn’t willfully see.”

And with those words, the scattered parts inside finally took shape. This girl --- she and I really are the same. Yoishi, like me, is carrying something warped inside her as well, and had probably been suffering for many years because of it. That’s why, she could understand my pain and suffering; when I felt the pain of the boy from the notebook, could she have felt my pain?

I remember Yoishi’s forlorn figure.

I remember her thin back that seemed to carry all the sorrows of the world alone. I distorted my memories, and was able to live in comfort. But, she neither ran, nor sealed them away, and continued to carry it all on her back. That – must have been unbelievably heavy, she must have been unable to walk normally. And -- in the middle of that lonely journey, with her feet stuck into the ground –

Her heart may have died.

That is why: even while she still lived, it was as if she stood in the world beyond.

“Yoishi – you…”

Those words spontaneously spun from my mouth.

“What the hell – killed you?”

If it wasn’t for this strange place, I probably wouldn’t have asked that. And I probably couldn’t ask her again. However, at that moment, the words came out of my mouth spontaneously.

That idiotic question of mine --- twisted Yoishi’s lips into a tearful shape for just one moment.

As she was about to speak through the gap in her lips – in the dark recesses of her eyes, I saw something.

The instant that silhouette emerged, every part of me was filled with fear.

On the other side of the dark colored eyes, a black figure wriggled.

That ominous something -- twisted and turned as it gradually molded itself into shape.

It was – a black haired girl.

Her dark colored hair fluttered, with her white face and beautiful features, she--

Somehow looked similar to Yoishi but -- the aura was definitely different. With a faint smile, that face seemed to be filled with the malice of this world, it was horrifying.

-- You kill people because it’s fun. People can’t stand suffering faces. If you press them a little, people break so easily. It’s so fun to break happy people. Is it fine if I press you just a little? I'm going to press you to make this world so much fun--

Those red lips opened, and began to spit out many twisted words.

“—Absolute evil.”

In the pale blue world, my faint words echoed in silence.

“That’s why, whenever I feel malice, I vomit.”

Yoishi’s slender legs shook, as she spoke weakly.

“When my heart dies, it’s in an instant – Without any warning, when I’ve realized it, it’s already dead.”

The Yoishi from before: The Yoishi who happily leapt into whatever monstrosity that lay before her, that girl wasn’t present here now. In front of me was just a girl acting appropriate for her age -- broken in spirit. Yoishi’s well-shaped eyebrows were warped, her large eyes filled with clear tears that were on the verge of falling.

“I don't know what it feels like to be scared anymore.”

「 “Are you scared?” “Do you feel fear now?” “How does it feel to be scared?”」

I recalled those past words of hers—

Before I knew it, I was hugging Yoishi’s slender body tightly. I embraced that slender shoulder and arms, as if to confine her inside me.

“It’s alright now – I’m sorry.”

This girl was -- a warm corpse. When she would spit out words, they would be accompanied with the scent of death. That kind of Yoishi, had seen something she wasn’t supposed to see. She found out something that she shouldn’t have, and as a result, was swallowed by the deep darkness. And thus, she lost the emotion known as fear.

--Once a person knows the depth of the darkness, they will end up possessed by those depths.

She said that once in thr past. That was in fact, about herself. She was going after the paranormal in search of her lost feelings of fear. Just as I was drawn to my mother out in the darkness — even if I were to burn myself sooner or later, she too would jump into the flames of darkness.

“There is no malice present here.” Yoishi murmured, transparent tears overflowed from both her eyes.

“Even if you say we should go back – no matter how much I look for it, I can’t find a reason to return.”

It’s harsh to think that she doesn’t want to return to this world – I recalled that kinagashi wearing bastard’s words. Countless emotions were overflowing inside me, sweeping away and tossing about. I was powerless, an incompetent bastard who couldn’t even save a single crying girl in front of me. What should I do? What should I say to her? A person like me, is there anything I could say to Yoishi? Was there anything I could do? Without a shred of logic, could my crappy words move her heart in the least?

--That’s right, I reached my hands out in desperation, and there...

“I’m still alive.” I whispered those words which were just on the tips of my outstretched hand. “And you too, are still alive.” I said something completely nonsensical while looking straight into Yoishi’s eyes.

“For you, living itself might not be what you want; I don’t know how heavy the burden it is that you’re carrying, and, I can't even say that I really understand. Neither can I carry the tremendous something that you are burdened with.”

But, together with those lines which I did my best to squeeze out, I felt a thin, thin, faint light shine in from the far away heavens. And that tightened something in my stomach at a tremendous speed. I could feel it, the power being transmitted to both my legs.

“But from now on, I’ll stand by your side. I’ll always stand by your side, and share half of your burden. From here on I’ll stand in the way of any malice that’s pointed your way. Anything that would want to kill you would have to go through me first. To sum it all up, as long as I’m alive, I will never let you be killed.”

“…….”

Yoishi looked at me astonished, I’d really done it now, I thought. But, I would have to take responsibility for my illogical words now. Now, I’d have to be armed with the theory of the lifetime. I don’t know if these words would become true or not, something ridiculously heavy is now entrusted to me. I frantically turned over my little storehouse of knowledge, scampered to the bottom, and, in the nick of time -- caught sight of that legend. And then I worked out an interpretation.

“Listen, remember that story you said a while ago, about Princess Konohanasakuya-hime?”

“…….Eh?”

“You said she wanted to disappear, but according to legends, she didn’t disappear. She purposely gave birth to a child in the fire. If she were to die, she wouldn’t be able to give birth. Why is that? Maybe you don’t know why, but I do. Konohanasakuya-hime's thoughts in the fire were like this: Within me there dwells a new life that's eager to come out. There is a life that desperately wants to be born from me, me who decided to disappear from this world. That moment, didn’t she decide? To walk along side that life -- she realized that taking that path would be more painful than dying. That’s why Konohanasakuya-hime’s personification: the Fuji mountain and cherry blossom are beautiful. They touch the hearts of us Japanese.”

“…..That logic is a failure.”

“Aw jeez, just shut up, don’t object. I know it already. It’s what I think. Nobody knows the truth of what happened back then. That’s why, in short – “

I pushed myself to the limits, and brought it to an end with the worst and strongest nonsensical words.

“From now on going forward, you walk with your head held high.”

The moment I announced those words, I heard a terrible sound close by. I narrowly pulled Yoishi towards my side as the wall together with the beam behind her collapsed. As I held Yoishi’s head in my arms, I also had a sniff of her hair. She’s like that in my dream as well, isn’t that a little strange?

“What is strange?”

Yoishi inquired, but I just shook my head, as if to say no.

“When we get back, take a bath.”

Yoishi slightly tilted her head away and replied as usual, I don’t like baths, as she stood up.

And it was the moment a different burning beam fell down.

“Come on!”

I promptly pulled Yoishi’s hand, and we ran from there while holding hands. My left hand gripped Yoishi’s, with my right hand I protected myself the sparks of the collapsed pillars, and we ran out of the room. However, as soon as I came out into the corridor I realized, the collapsing mansion was enough to completely destroy my sense of direction. Clicking my tongue, I ran to the left side where the fire was weaker. The mansion wasn’t like a vast labyrinth. If I were to just run in a straight direction, we’d be able to get out of here. If we just follow the fence from there, we should arrive at the main gate. However, perhaps it was because the mystery of my heart had been solved and the mansion had served its purpose, the structure of the mansion became so chaotic that the directions of top, bottom, right and left were vague. The stairs were connected with the kitchen; in front of the toilet was the storage room. The tatami mats continued for eternity. The corridor was winded into a spiral shape.

“Damn it, which way?”

On top of that the sparks were falling rapidly from overhead, burning my skin. They weren’t hot, but they were inflicting a dull pain, and seemingly erasing my existence.

--Dammit, It’s impossible.

A voice inside me said that, and I shouted back.

“It’s not impossible. This is my dream.”

Like hell am I gonna end up killed in my own dream. Like hell am I gonna stand being killed by anyone.

I yelled that as I clasped Yoishi’s hand as tightly as I could and kept running. The white darkness spreads before me. I was quickly covered in smoke and couldn’t even see my fingers.

-- The probability of you ever waking up again will be slim to none.

I faintly remembered the words of that kinagashi wearing bastard, but I shook my head and cleared away any such thoughts. I’ll definitely get back. Back to that apartment, back to Tokyo. And back to Fujieda, this time for sure, I’ll take back reality. I’ll rebuild my distorted and trampled memories. I’ll take back the everyday life the way it was supposed to be. But – I still couldn’t see the exit anywhere. Wherever I looked, the rubble from the mansion blocked our path. The pillars of fire rose relentlessly.

It might really be useless, after all.

It was that moment when I raised my head in weakness.

From the white darkness, someone’s hand held out towards me. It was a small hand. Because of the smoke, I couldn’t see whose face it was. But for some reason, I eagerly gripped that hand without any hesitation. Under the guidance of that hand, I ran out of that flaming corridor with Yoishi. The walls were crumbling, beams were falling down. Even if it was regrettable, this mansion was close to its demise. Yet despite that, I didn’t know how much further we would have to go. However, however... strangely enough, the hope in my heart which had begun to disappear just before was still there. Without hesitation, it guided us -- this small hand. I didn’t know why, but it was trustworthy. Even though I had suffered through many creepy experiences up until now, yet I still concluded that. Why was that? Running with all their might, I caught glimpse of the feet of the child right in front of me. And because of that, I realized it. At this child’s feet, was a white sneaker tied with blue shoelaces.

The moment I realized who that child was, my vision suddenly blurred.

“Over there.”

The place ahead Yoishi pointed at, was the collapsed gate burning down.

--It was the exit.

I felt I’d be able to manage somehow or another when I reached there.

But the moment I thought that, the tiny hand grasping my left hand disappeared. Becoming flustered I looked back, her was there, enshrouded in smoke. Gently waving his hand in my direction and faintly smiled. I waved my hand in response with as much power as I could muster, at the same time, the mansion collapsed with the sound of an iceberg breaking.

We ran.

The main gate was already open.

The thick latch was lying on the ground, broken.

I let Yoishi pass through there, and looked back – that moment…

--At the entrance of the crumbled mansion, I realized someone was gazing my way. Dimmed with the white fog, my feelings burst forth seeing the beloved figure.

“Mother.”

The world was crumbling – shrinking rapidly. At the end of this white world -- I cried at the top of my voice.

“Thank you.”

“And I’m sorry.”

“I was running away. I was protected and behaved like a spoiled brat.”

Even as my voice grew dim, I continued to yell.

“But, I think I’ll carry everything by myself now.”

“The things father and sis were carrying for me.”

“I'm gonna live my reality.”

That’s why.

That’s why--

No matter what I did, my tears continued to fall, and I couldn’t utter those words.

I felt the soft power of Yoishi’s fingertips being poured into my left hand.

With a flood of emotions, I cried my heart out:

“Goodbye, mother.”

---

The first thing I perceived was the warm sunlight from the window. I was in my apartment. I was in my futon – And, I recognized the smiles of Krishna-san and the others; being hugged by the petite site manager, Karasu-san and the others all at once, I knew I had returned alive. By the way, this didn’t include that kinagashi wearing bastard, of course. I was dumbfounded as the Buddhist priest hugged me with a scary smile, anyway, Krishna-san’s master which was supposed to be that smug bastard, after he performed hypnosis on me, seemed to have left at once. Well, I suppose that’s for the best.

Anyhow, I tore off from the lot, quickly rose up, and examined the face of the sleeping Yoishi next to me. Yoishi was still sleeping then. With her fingers crossed on her stomach, she was lying down, as if she wasn’t breathing.

Was she able to come back?

The abyss of the world beyond and this world. – The absolute boundary, from the ‘abyss of the underworld’.

The moment I thought that, Yoishi, slightly opened her eyes. And – let out a sigh, speaking in a somewhat embarrassed tone.

“It was comfortable there.”

Epilogue

I understand, it’s true that in this world you have to be cautious like you’re cautious when exploring haunted places. In the shadow of fun things, lurk painful and difficult things, they are all present on the path we choose – This time, I learned that painfully. There may be a clear spring at the end of a narrow road. There may be a beast waiting at the end of a big, bright road. It's up to you to choose where to go on that crossroad, since nobody knows what lies ahead. Even if you keep your ears open, keep your eyes open, and try your best to think, you may make mistakes. But, it’s wrong to blame yourself or the people around you when that happens. Rather it would be better to enjoy it. I’m sure that way life will be—

“….It would be brighter that way.”

Leaning back on a bench in Tokyo station, I was thinking those kinds of things absentmindedly. My exams ended safely, I’d be going back home with my sister. I’d return to Fujieda, press the reset button on my life. It seemed the main gist of the events had been discussed by my sister and father. My father just took a long sigh as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and only said, ‘is that so?’ At any rate, I hadn't even visited my mom's grave until now, and that was a bad sign of filial piety. That’s why… I’d planned on talking about the many things that happened up until now.

“Hey, Nagi-suke!”

Suddenly, there was a shout so angry that people in a hundred meter range turned around in unison.

“You bastard, sitting on that bench all self-important, don’t act so carefree –dammit!”

I timidly turned to face that direction -- Bento, magazines, tea, souvenirs, and other stuff I didn’t know, was being carried in large quantities by my sister, twenty year old Akira Yamada. She tossed back her long, dyed in deep red, fluffy hair, and gave me a vicious stare.

“Making a lady carry heavy things like this, while you recline back on that bench, what are you thinking, ya bastard?”

“I-I’m sorry.” It's almost a conditional reflex now. I stumbled forward, and rushed towards my sister’s side.

“Listen! I even ended up paying for your substitute train ticket. I'll add that to the moving expenses from the other day, so you pay me back in full, alright?”

“….Yes.”

I hoped she would at least be a little nice to me after all that had happened, but that was actually a naïve view. In any case, there was still one week left to return home, so it was fine, she said. And without considering the fact that it had only being her second year in her company, she excitedly applied for a paid vacation, and decided to stay in my apartment until the day we returned. She took care of the food and laundry, but she took over the loft area where I slept, my right to choose the TV programs disappeared, and took away my right to the freshly drawn bath. I was only able to finish this trial because I was working in the family restaurants that open late at night.

As expected of the leader of the ladies: Akira of the Dawn, who was famous in Fujieda in the past.

“Come on, guys, grab all these. You owe me money for lunch and tea, right? Get a part time job and pay me back, ok? There's no interest for up to 3 months, but after that, I'll start charging 10% interest a month.”

….A demon. She’s a demon.

Does she realize that I'm a struggling university student with no allowance?

After shoving a total of six bags on me, my sister asked:

“So, you still haven’t realized it?”

“….What?”

I asked in return, and she clicked her tongue a little and ruffled her curly, bright hair.

“That's why you’re called a fool. Mind your surroundings a bit more.”

I look around and I see someone plodding around on a bench near the stairs, playing with their feet. In that familiar uniform of white blouse and black tie, was Yoishi Mitsurugi.

“I-it’s her, why is sh—“

“Hurry up and go, just remember, you have about two minutes until the train leaves. Keep it short.”

For all those thoughtful lines, she still thrust the luggage on to me while she went ahead and boarded the train. It couldn’t be helped; I staggered my way to the bench Yoishi was sitting on while carrying the luggage.

“Hey.”

I called out to Yoishi, she raised her face slightly.

“What are you doing in a place like this?”

Yoishi didn’t reply, and continued to look vacantly in the direction of her feet.

“Oh, I see, You came to see me off? Maybe you were worried we might not meet again.”

I took a seat next to the silent Yoishi – I intentionally put on a smile and said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll definitely be back. I’ll definitely return to my house, and open the fusuma, without fail. No matter what’s on the other side – I’ll accept it, and come back.”

I felt a pang in my chest at the end, but I spoke that much in one breath to hide it.

“But, you know, really-- it's all just like a dream.” I whispered that and Yoishi turned my way.

“Ah, I’m talking about it being a dream in a figurative sense, there’s still so many things that I can’t piece together. When I get back home, my mother won’t be there, I still…haven’t accepted that completely.”

I was supposed to say things as smoothly as possible - but how pathetic. I ended up saying something unexpected to Yoishi.

“If it’s about your mother, she’s here.”

“….Eh?”

Yoishi slowly took out something wrapped in white cloth from her bag. She gently unwrapped that with both her hands and it was – an old kokeshi doll. At that moment, an unspeakable chill spread down my spine.

“---Ah, You, That is…”

“It’s a trophy.”

Yoishi Mitsurugi’s tucked the kokeshi back into her bag again, her dark eyes shined with happiness.

“Show it to me once again, there’s no way that...”

“I refuse. This is something I brought out, after all.”

No, there’s no way it could have been that. She’s probably just trying to scare me with a similar kokeshi doll she found at a thrift store or something. That has to be it – I try to think like that, but it’s Yoishi after all. I couldn't think about the possibility of such a creepy thing happening calmly, so I stopped myself from pursuing it. After all, I was in a period of mental rehabilitation. I couldn’t afford to be shaken mentally right now.

“So, did you come all the way to Tokyo station just to show that me?”

Yoishi sank back into silence in response. I was at a loss for words, too, because I didn’t know how much I could ask in such a short amount of time. We just wasted the rest of our time there, as if we were playing the role of a new couple who were going to say farewell soon.

Before long – the announcement of the train departing echoed on the platform.

“Well… I’m going.”

I stood up, and Yoishi followed in silence. . As I walked to the entrance of the train and was about to push the bulky bundle of paper bags into the doorway, I heard a voice from behind me.

“Koumei school, first year highschooler, Class A, Yoishi Mitsurugi, 16 years old.”

Surprised, I turned back, Yoishi was standing still in a posture with her hands clasped behind her back.

The train bell rang – I panicked, and got on the train.

“Next time, if we meet again...”

Yoishi spoke. But that moment, the door closed, but she continued to speak. I tried hard to read the movement of her lips. I never studied lip-reading in the first place. But, miraculously her words reached me.

I’ll become your friend.

Yoishi said with a somewhat nervous expression.

“You're kidding me.”

I laughed.

I frantically waved to her as I looked out of the window of the moving train.

I don’t know if that was enough to convey it to her.

In that case, I'll come back as soon as possible. She was wearing a forlorn look on her face as she came to see me off. So I'm going to convey this to her:

We’re not friends, we’re war comrades.

---

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