Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Full Text

These are color illustrations that are related to Volume 1, courtesy of the Seitenkan Cult.

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"Nice to meet you"
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"Robbery?"
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"What is he trying to do to me by bringing me here? Is he going to make me his bride? I’m not an alien! Put me down!"
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"Cosplaying"

Sometimes people ask me when I stopped believing in Santa Claus. Really, this kind of silly question, to me, doesn’t hold any real significance. However, if you were to ask me when I stopped believing that the old man wearing the red costume was Santa, then I can confidently say that I have never believed in Santa, ever. I knew that the Santa who appeared at my preschool Christmas party was a fraud. When I sat in his lap, I didn’t feel the eyes of a kindly old man looking down at me. In fact, it felt slightly disturbing to be sitting in the lap of some random old guy and espousing your deepest wishes. I was already wise enough to be suspicious about the existence of an old man who worked only on Christmas Eve.

However, it took me quite a bit longer to realize that the aliens, time-travelers, sailor girls, demons and espers in those effects-filled 'good guys versus evil organization' cartoons didn't actually exist either. No, wait, I probably did realize, I just didn't want to admit it. Deep inside my heart I still wanted those aliens, time-travelers, sailor girls, demons, espers and evil organizations to suddenly appear. Comparing those worlds to this boring, normal life of mine, those flashy worlds win every time; I wanted to live in that world too! I wanted my life to be filled with excitement!

I wanted to be the one who was kidnapped by aliens and imprisoned in a bowl-like fortress, to be the one saved by the handsome prince and taken off to live in castles happily ever after. Or, changing genres, I wanted to be someone who could banish demons and monsters with a single spell, engage in telepathic fights and save my one true love from danger!

But wait, calm down. I don't even have any special powers! None of the guys I knew in my classes did either! Well then, how about this: one day, a mysterious new student transfers to my class. Except he's really an alien or from the future, and he has telepathic abilities. Then I’ll make friends with him, and his enemies, sensing a weak point, will come and kidnap me for ransom. Then he’ll come and rescue me and I can just sit back and wait. Oh my god, this is great, I am so clever!

Or maybe, if that doesn't work, how about this: one day, a mysterious power inside me awakens, something like a telekinetic or psychic ability. I discover that a lot of other people in this world also have similar powers, and then some sort of paranormal society recruits me. I'll become part of this organization, receive a talking animal companion and protect the world against evil demons!

Unfortunately, reality is surprisingly cruel... No magical prince came to sweep me off my feet. I've never seen a UFO. My dog never talked, even when I fed him alphabet soup. Two hours of intense staring didn't make my pencil move a single millimeter, and glaring at my classmate's head didn't reveal her thoughts to me either. I couldn't help but get depressed at how normal everything was. I began to stop watching for UFOs and paying attention to magical girl cartoons because I finally convinced myself it was impossible. I even reached a point where I only had a sense of nostalgia for those things.

After junior high, I completely grew out of that fantasy world and became utterly grounded in reality. Nothing happened in 1999, even though I kept hoping, just a bit, that something would; humankind hadn't returned to the moon or gone beyond it. I suppose, from the way things are looking, that I'll be long dead before you can book a round trip from Earth to Alpha Centauri.

With those sorts of ordinary, common thoughts in my mind, I became a normal, carefree senior high schoolgirl. That is, until…

Until the day I met Suzumiya Haruki.

And so, I entered the senior high school in my area.

At that point, I’d already begun to regret this decision. My new school sat on top of a very high hill, and, even in the spring weather, students would become hot and sweaty just from climbing the steep road. Looks like I won’t be able to leisurely walk to school as I was planning to. Every time this thought rose to my head, along with the fact that I would have to walk up this hill every day for the next three years, I became tired and depressed, which is why I overslept a bit today. I was beating myself over the head for not studying harder in middle school. Had I done so, I might have gotten into a better school that was not at the top of Mount Everest. I suppose this is why people in fiction invent teleporters. All of this was just too depressing.

All this was part of the reason for my lone grim face in the, pointless, time-wasting entrance ceremony. Everyone else in the room had that "starting a new journey" look on their face; you know, the unique "hopeful, yet filled with uncertainty" look that every new student wears when they enter a new school. Honestly though, they look kind of stupid with those sparkling eyes. As for me, I had no strange ideas — a lot of my old classmates from my junior high school were also coming to this school. Added to that, a few of my friends were also here. As a result, I didn't look as worried, or excited, as other people.

The guys were wearing the more modern sport jackets, and we, the girls, were wearing the traditional sailor uniform, a pretty weird combination. Maybe some of the teachers standing behind the snore inducing, boring-as-hell principal giving a speech on the stage had some sort of fetish for sailor uniforms. At this point, I really wished that I had gotten into a school that had business suits as the girl's uniform instead. Maybe I should organize a petition and get all the other girls to sign it… no, that’d be too much work.

As I was thinking about these useless things, the boring ceremony finally ended, (why do we need to sit through these things again?) and I, along with my not-so-willing new classmates, entered the 1-5 classroom.

Our homeroom teacher, Okabe-sensei, with her practiced-for-an-hour-in-front-of-a-mirror smile, walked to the front of the class and gave a self-introduction. She first said that she was a PE teacher, and was the managing teacher for the girls’ handball team. Then she moved on to stuff like how, back when she was in university, she used to play on the women's handball team, and even won the championship, and that this school seriously lacked handball players, so whoever entered the team would become a regular instantly. She sounds really desperate. Guess there’s not much support for handball here... She went on to say stuff like how handball was the most interesting sport in all the world and on and on. Just when I thought that the mind-numbing handball dialogue would never end, she suddenly blurted out:

"Now, let's all introduce ourselves!"

This kind of thing was pretty much the norm, though, so I wasn't surprised at all.

One by one, the people on the left side of the class started to introduce themselves. They raised their hand, announced their name, the name of their old school, and other inconsequential stuff, such as a hobby or favorite food. Some people mumbled their way through it, a few had some pretty interesting introductions, while some tried to tell lame jokes that suddenly made the temperature in the classroom drop. As the people in my row started to introduce themselves, my turn was approaching. I couldn’t help it, I was starting to get nervous.

After I managed to finish my carefully planned, minimal-length introduction without faltering over my words too much, I sat down, feeling the relief you get after having finished something unpleasant but necessary.

I will never forget these next few moments, no matter how hard I try.

The person behind me stood up for his turn said the words that would be the topic of conversation at North High for quite a long time to come.

"My name is Suzumiya Haruki. I graduated from East Junior High."

Up to this point, the introduction was still normal, still ordinary, so I saw no point in turning around to look at him. I just stared at the front and listened to his deep, clear voice.

"Normal humans do not interest me! If anyone here is an alien, a time traveler, a slider, or an esper, then come! Be my bride! That is all."

Eh?

What's this… so early in the morning?

Upon hearing something as off-the-wall as that, there’s no way I couldn't help but turn around.

He was tall, not gigantic, but he stood out. He had long dark hair that came down past his neck. His angular face was filled with daring and challenge as the rest of the class stared at him. His seriousness and zeal shone through his cold, glinting eyes and long eyebrows. His lips were tightly pursed in a frown.

This was my first impression of Suzumiya Haruki.

Haruki, with eyes of cold fire, scanned the class slowly, stopped to glare at me (my mouth was hanging open), and then sat down and crossed his arms without so much as a smile.

Was he trying to be dramatic? But it sounded more like he was challenging someone to a duel... Did he overdose on shounen manga?

At that moment, I believe everyone there had the same question: "Is he serious? Should I laugh?" No one really knew.

Well, I guess he wasn't trying to be dramatic or funny, as Haruki always has that somber face on.

He is always serious.

This is based on experience—I can't be wrong.

After the mythical fairies of silence danced around the classroom for thirty-something seconds, the homeroom teacher, obviously flustered, signaled the next person to continue, and the tense atmosphere, thankfully, lifted.

That’s how we met.

How entirely unforgettable that was. Given the choice, I really want to believe that this was all just a coincidence.

After grabbing everyone's attention on the first day, Haruki reverted to being an ordinary high school student.

This was only the calm before the storm. Looking back, I finally understand it all.

Everyone here at this school came from one of the four junior high schools in the city— people with average grades. This, obviously, included East Junior High; so there should be people in the class who graduated with Haruki, who knew what his stoicism symbolized. Unfortunately for me, I did not know any former East Junior High students. No one could have explained to me how serious the situation really was. As a result, a few days after that explosive introduction, I did something I would never forget—I tried to talk to him before class.

My metaphorical dominoes of misfortune had begun to fall, and I was the person who pushed the first block! All of this is my fault!

Because, you see, when Haruki sits in silence in his seat, he looks just like a normal, good-looking guy. Besides, he seemed interesting enough, and sitting in front of him was a good enough reason to strike up a conversation. Argh, I’m so naïve! Somebody, anybody, please, slap some sense into me!

Of course, I started the conversation with that incident.

"Hi!"

I casually turned my head around, with an airy smile all over my face.

"The stuff you said, back in your introduction, was all that serious?"

With his arms crossed on his chest, lips pursed together, Suzumiya Haruki kept his posture, then stared right into my eyes.

"What 'stuff in my introduction'?"

"The stuff about the aliens."

"Do you happen to be an alien?"

He looked very serious.

"Well, um... No."

"If you are not, then what business do you have with me?"

"...N-Nothing."

"Then don't bother talking to me. You are a waste of time."

His glare was so cold that I found myself stuttering "sorry" before realizing it. Suzumiya Haruki then removed his glare from me, contemptuously and, looking up, started to frown at the ceiling.

I had considered trying to whip back a line or two, but I couldn't think of anything good to say, especially after being called a “waste of time”. Thankfully, at that moment the homeroom teacher came into the classroom and saved me from thinking about it any longer.

I turned my head back to my desk, full of melancholy, and noticed that a few people were staring at me with looks of great interest on their faces. This, obviously, made me feel pretty annoyed and slightly on the embarrassed side. After I stared back at them, however, I noticed that they all had the same, feeble-looking expression on their faces. Some even nodded at me with sympathy.

Like I said, at first I felt pretty damn irritated, but later on I learned that all those people graduated from East Junior High.

Given that my first encounter with Haruki had ended horribly, I figured that I should keep my distance from him for now, for the sake of both my safety and my dignity. With that precaution on my mind, a week passed by.

But, just as I was still part of this class, there were always people who wanted to talk to the eyebrow-locking, shut-mouthed, glowering Haruki. Sucks to be them.

Most of the people were sports-obsessed, delinquent-looking guys; I guess they saw a fellow kinsman in the tall, well-built Haruki. This would be perfectly fine if Haruki actually was a sports-maniac or a delinquent.

"Hey, did you see the game last night? The one that went on for an hour without a single goal scored?"

"No."

"Eh, but, why?"

"I do not know."

“Aw, that’s too bad. You should check out the game next week, though. I hear they’re really going—“

"Go away! You are annoying!"

That's how it went.

Couldn’t he just answer “no” with that poker face on? No, he had to show his lack of patience in both his expression and his voice. This only made his victim believe that they did something wrong. At the end they could only say "I see... then I'll just...", and ask themselves "What did I say that was so wrong?" and slink away.

Hey, don't look so sad; you didn't say anything wrong. If you ask me, the problem here is with Suzumiya Haruki's brain, not yours.

Even though I don’t mind eating alone, I didn't want others to think that I was some loser girl that nobody liked when everybody else was cheerfully eating their lunch with their friends. That's why, even though I didn't care if others didn’t understand, I ate my lunch together with my junior high school friend Kunikida and an East Junior High graduate named Taniguchi, who sat close to me.

We started to talk about Haruki.

"Did you try to talk to Suzumiya?" Taniguchi asked, a deceptively innocent smile on her face. I nodded.

"And then he said some crazy stuff and really you didn't know how to react?"

"That's what happened."

Taniguchi put her sliced boiled egg into her mouth, chewed, and said: "Well, he wouldn’t be interested in you anyway, considering your figure. Personally, I advise you to give up! Not even pretty girls can attract the attention of this guy."

Excuse me?

Isn't there a saying, "With friends like these..."?

"I was in his class three years in a row; I know how he is." She used this line as the beginning of her speech. "He always does the weirdest things. I thought he’d at least tone it down a bit when he got into senior high; apparently, he hasn't. You heard him in his introduction, right?"

"You mean the alien stuff?"

Kunikida, who had been picking bones out of her fried fish, looked up, intrigued.

"Yeah, that. Even back in junior high, he always said and did lots of bizarre stuff. For example, there was the School Vandalization Incident!"

"What happened?"

"You know that one thing that that uses plaster dust to draw lines on the sports field? Um… what was it called again? Anyway, he sneaked into school late at night and, with, that, um, whatever it was, drew a huge, huge symbol in the middle of the field."

Taniguchi had an impish smile on her face— she was probably remembering the incident.

"It was so amazing. I went to school early that morning, and all I saw were big circles and triangles. I couldn't figure out what they were supposed to be, so I went up to the fourth floor to get a better view. That didn't help— I still didn't know what that symbol was."

"Ah, I think I saw that before. Didn't the newspaper have a story on it? It even had a helicopter view of it! The symbol looked like a broken Nazca pictogram," Kunikida said.

...I don't remember hearing about that.

"I saw the article, I saw it. The headline was something like 'Mystery Vandal Strikes Junior High At Night,' right? Well, care to guess who pulled that stunt?"

"It was him, right?"

"He admitted it himself. There's no mistaking it. Naturally, he got called into the principal's office. Every teacher was there, questioning him on why he did it."

"Why did he do it, then?"

"I have no idea," Taniguchi answered flatly, as she tried to swallow a mouthful of rice. "I heard he refused to say anything. You’ve seen what he’s like... he never says anything unless he considers it important. Someone said that he drew the symbol to call out to UFOs, others said that it was a magic symbol and was used in summoning monsters, or that he was trying to open a portal to another world, and so on... There were a lot of rumors, but as long as Suzumiya himself refuses to talk, we may never know if they’re true or not. To this very day, it's still a mystery."

For some reason, the picture of Haruki, with his straightforward look, drawing strange shapes in the middle of the school field at night, floated into my mind. He definitely prepared the drawing tools and the limestone powders beforehand in the storage room; maybe he even bought a flashlight! Under its dim yellow light, Suzumiya Haruki looked very serene and tragic, his head thrown back, look up at the sky, just waiting and waiting...

No, that’s just my imagination going to a weird place.

Really, Suzumiya Haruki was probably really doing it to summon UFOs or monsters, or even a portal to another world. Maybe he wanted to fight whatever showed up? But after all that work, nothing came of it, and he must have been left with feelings of boredom and melancholy. That’s what I thought.

"And that's not the only thing he did!" Taniguchi continued to gobble down her lunch. "This one time, I came to the classroom in the morning and discovered that all the desks were moved outside, or that there were these printed stars on the school roof. Another time he was going around the school slapping O-fuda onto the walls and ceiling... you know, those Chinese ones where you put the paper talisman on a vampire's forehead. I totally don’t get him."

Suzumiya Haruki was not inside the classroom at this point, or else we probably wouldn't have been having this conversation. But then again, even if he did hear us, he probably wouldn't have cared. Usually, Suzumiya Haruki marched out of the classroom immediately after fourth period, then came back right before the fifth. He didn't seem to have a lunch box, so I had assumed that he went to the cafeteria to eat; but it doesn't take the whole hour to eat lunch, does it? Furthermore, he vanishes right at the end of every period. Where the heck does he go...?

"He’s still pretty popular, though!” Taniguchi winked. "He’s athletic, smart, and pretty cute too. Even if he’s nuts, some girls think that makes him mysterious or something. And his 'lone wolf' attitude adds plenty of points too."

"So how do you know all of this?" Kunikida asked, with her lunch box twice as full as Taniguchi's.

"Well, for a while, he randomly started asking girls out, non-stop. From what I heard, the longest relationship lasted a week, the shortest one ended 5 minutes after he asked her. In addition, the only reason Suzumiya gave for dumping his girlfriends was 'I don’t have time to socialize with ordinary humans! You're a waste of time!’"

That line again, huh? That guy really has no sense of tact, does he? If it's any consolation to those countless broken hearts, they're not missing out on much.

Taniguchi seemed to be speaking from experience. After she noticed my stare, she blushed and sputtered.

"I heard all of this from other people! I’m not lying! I-It’s just, for some reason, he just asked out girls at random! But by the third year, everyone had finally started to stay away from him; so no one got asked out anymore. Although, I have a funny feeling that history will repeat itself in senior high… I’m warning you now, Kyon, stay away from him! This is coming from someone who was in the same class as he was."

Say whatever you want. I’m not interested in him anyway. Besides, aren’t I “not good looking enough”, according to you?

Taniguchi put her empty lunch-box back into her bag, and let out a giggle.

"Now, if there's one guy I'd like to date, it'd be him, Asakura Ryou."

Taniguchi nodded towards a group of guys a few desks away. In the middle of the conversing group, with a calm, pleasant smile on his face, was Asakura Ryou.

"Judging from my inspection, he definitely enters my 'Top Ten Hottest First Year Guys' list."

"You have a list?" I asked, incredulous.

"I group guys into A to D categories and, believe me, I only pay attention to the A guys. You only get to go through high school life once— I want mine to be as fun as possible."

"Then that Asakura Ryou is an A then?" Kunikida asked.

"He's an AA+! Come on, just look at his face, his personality must be first class! I even hear he's in the kendo club! Plus, he's got a great butt, too."

I really don't need to hear this... or rather, I don't need you to tell me...

But Taniguchi was right, you couldn't deny that Asakura Ryou was a different kind of guy than Suzumiya Haruki was.

First and most obviously, he was very handsome; and he always smiled, giving off the impression of great compassion towards everybody. Second, Taniguchi's description of his personality was actually pretty accurate. These days no one dared to talk to Suzumiya Haruki anymore, except for Asakura Ryou. No matter how rude Suzumiya Haruki was, Asakura Ryou still tried to talk to him from time to time. He was so fervent in the matter that he almost acted like the class president. Third, from the way he answered teachers' questions in class, you could see that he was very smart. He always answered the questions correctly — in the eyes of the teachers he was probably a model student. To top it off, he was looked up to by many of the male students. The term had only been going for a week, and he was already well on his way to becoming the idol of all the guys, who seemed to think of him as their feudal lord. I think the Greeks had a word for that kind of adoration... I can't remember.

Asakura Ryou was one of the few guys I’d ever seen who looked like the stereotypical 'handsome prince' from the cartoons I’d watched as a little girl. That charming smile, that calm appearance… Compared to him, Suzumiya Haruki was just a science fiction obsessed weirdo.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have magical powers. If I did, Suzumiya would probably carry me off to be his bride...

It was still April then, and Suzumiya hadn't started acting up yet. Which meant there was still a month of peace and relaxation. Unfortunately, I didn’t know I only had a month left before Haruki would start going off his rocker.

Even during that short time, though, I'd already observed some of Haruki’s more eccentric behaviors.

Attention! The following is a list of Haruki's Peculiarities.

Peculiarity #1: Every day, his hairstyle changed. Added to this, from my observations, there was sort of a weird pattern to it all. On Monday, Haruki would come to school with his hair down. On Tuesday, there’d be a single spike gelled up on the back of his head. On the next day, there'd be two spikes, the day after, three; by Friday, there were four spikes, one on each cardinal direction of his head. Was that supposed to signify something?

So Monday, zero. Tuesday, one. Wednesday, two...

As the day of the week increased, so would the number of hair spikes; by next Monday, the whole crazy process would start again. I couldn’t see any reason for it. Following that pattern, he should have six spikes on Sunday...

...I suddenly wanted to see how his head looks then. Probably like some typical shonen anime character.

Peculiarity #2:For Phys Ed, classes 1-5 and 1-6 would combine and have Phys ED together. When we changed clothes, the girls would go to the 1-6 classroom, and the boys would go to the 1-5 classroom; meaning at the end of the period, the girls from our class (1-5) would move to the other room to change.

Unfortunately for my poor sanity, Haruki would completely ignore these conventions and start stripping before the girls had even left.

Wearing his usual scowl, he’d just start taking off his shirt, before pulling off his pants and getting into his gym gear. He would ignore us all, as if we were just trees and bushes.

Most of the girls were completely confused, while a shameful few couldn’t help but squeal in delight. It was up to Asakura Ryou to escort all the girls, myself included, out.

According to gossip, the other guys in the class led by Asakura Ryou attempted to talk Haruki out of that kind of behaviour, but he ignored them. Something about “the male body being nothing to be ashamed of”. Every PE lesson, Haruki would totally ignore everyone else and take off his clothes without so much as a glance. So, in order to preserve the purity of our maiden eyes, we girls would leave the classroom as soon as the bell rang.

Seriously, though, Haruki is pretty well built... argh, what am I saying?

Peculiarity #3: At the end of every period, Haruki would go missing. When the school bell came rolling around, he’d immediately grab his school bag and march out of the classroom. I’d have thought that he’d go straight home; but to my amazement, he joined and quit every single club in the school. One day, you’d see him shooting hoops in the Basketball Club, and the next you’d see him making an urn in the Pottery Club. The following day, you might see him waving a stick at the opposing team in the Hockey Club, or smacking home runs in the Baseball Club. Now I can see why those sports jocks tried to talk to him... All the clubs tried to persuade him into joining them permanently, but he turned each and every one of them down. His explanation went along the lines of "Doing the same thing every day is boring! I need new experiences!". So in the end, he didn't join any of the clubs.

What exactly is he trying to do?

Thanks to this kind of stuff, gossip about the "bizarre first year guy" spread throughout the school almost instantly. Within a month, there wasn't a single person in our school who didn't know who Suzumiya Haruki was. By May, people might still not have known the name of our principal, but Suzumiya Haruki had practically become a household name.

So, with all this kind of stuff going on— and Haruki always at the root of it all— May arrived.

When it comes to fate, I'm more inclined to believe in the existence of the Loch Ness Monster. You see, unlike some girls I know, I don't think that there's a red string of fate tying me to my one true love, nor do I like reading my fortunes in magazines. Nevertheless, if destiny is actively influencing human lives, my metaphorical wheel of fate had probably begun to turn. …No, that’s just stupid.

After the end of the vacation for Golden Week, I trudged off to school, not sure what day of the week it was. The unnaturally bright, sunny weather blasted my skin and made me drip with sweat— I had already had a shower this morning and already I wanted another one. This stupid hill the size of Kilimanjaro just makes it worse; it never seemed to end. Why does the Earth make me suffer so? Haven't we stopped sacrificing young girls in the name of natural forces a long time ago?

"Hi, Kyon!"

Somebody hugged me from behind. It was Taniguchi. Her uniform was untidy and looked like it hadn’t been ironed or washed in a while, and she didn't even bother to tie her collar ribbon.

"Where did you go for Golden Week?" she asked casually.

"My parents took me and my little brother to see my grandpa in the countryside."

"That’s boring!"

"Fine, then what did you do?" I retorted.

"I got a part-time job."

Probably at a brothel somewhere. "Really? Working doesn’t seem to suit you at all."

"Kyon, you’re in senior high now— why do you gotta go with your little brother to see your grandpa and grandma? You should be hanging out with your girlfriends or something."

Kyon, by the way, is my nickname. A few years back, my long-time-no-see good-for-nothing uncle suddenly said to me "Wow, look at you, Kyon-chan! You’re all grown up!" Could he have thought of anything more embarrassing? My little brother thought it was funny and also started to call me Kyon. After that, the rest is history— my friends, upon hearing my brother calling me Kyon, decided to follow his lead. From that day on, my name became Kyon. Damn it, my brother used to call me "Onee-chan"!

"It’s a tradition of ours to have a family reunion during Golden Week." I responded indifferently as I scaled Mt. Aconcagua.

Taniguchi, full of hot air as always, boasted about how there were so many cute guys at her workplace, and how she planned to use the money she made to buy new clothes for the summer. To me, stuff like that, along with telling people about your dreams or how amazing or cute some pet is, are the dullest possible topics in the world.

So as I wondered if this was how Haruki felt when people talked to him about football, we arrived at the school gate.

Suzumiya Haruki was already in his seat, staring at the ceiling, when I entered the classroom. Two spikes protruded from each side of his head. I guess that means today is Wednesday. After I sat down— for some incredibly stupid, unknown reason (the only explanation being that I had completely lost it...)— I found myself once again talking to Suzumiya Haruki.

"The hair spikes, are they some sort of way to contact the aliens?"

Slowly, mechanically, Suzumiya Haruki lowered his head downward, and stared at me with deep, piercing eyes. It was actually a little frightening.

"When was it that you noticed?" His tone was so cold, I could feel the temperature drop.

I paused a while, trying to think of my answer under that glare.

"A-awhile ago, I think."

"Well..."

Haruki tipped his chair back and put his hands behind his head, looking both annoyed and bored.

"Each day of the week gives off a different image."

Is… is this the first time we’re actually having a conversation?

"Monday is yellow, Tuesday is red, Wednesday is blue, Thursday is green, Friday is gold, Saturday is brown, and Sunday is white."

I sort of understand what he’s trying to get at here.

"So that means, if we use numbers to represent each color, Monday would be zero and Sunday six, right?"

"Yes."

"Shouldn’t Monday be one, though?"

"Who asked you?"

"…Um, yeah. Right."

Haruki glared at me. I guess he wasn’t exactly pleased with my answer. As for me, I just sat there, uncomfortable under his stare.

"Have we ever met before? Long ago?"

"No, I don’t think so…"

After my answer, Okabe-sensei entered the classroom, and our first real conversation ended.

Though our first conversation really wasn’t anything special, it might just have been the turning point I’ve been looking for.

Of course, the only chance I could talk to Haruki was the short bit of time before home room session, as he’s never in the classroom during breaks. But, since I sit in front of him, I have a better chance of talking to him than anybody else.

What shocked me the most is that Haruki actually answered my question. I just thought that he’d go all like, “Silence! You’re a waste of time!” Am I weird enough for him to talk to or something?

So when I came to school the next day and discovered that, instead of gelling up three spikes, Haruki had gotten a haircut, I got quite depressed.

Even though he looks better without the weird spikes, he changed his hairstyle right after I talked to him about it! Just what is that supposed to mean!

However, when I asked him why, he said:

"No reason, whatsoever."

He answered with that trademark annoyed tone, but he didn’t look angry or anything. I guess he just wasn’t going to tell me his reasons.

That’s what I expected, though. So it’s all right.

"Is it true that you really tried to join all the clubs?"

From then on, I fell into the routine of talking to Haruki in the few minutes before homeroom. Obviously, if I didn't try to start a conversation, Haruki would just sit in his chair and stare at the ceiling. Also, were I to try to talk to him about how last night's TV show was, or how the weather is, etc.— boring topics— he’d just ignore me. With that in mind, I chose the topic of conversation carefully.

"So did you find any fun clubs? If there is, I think I’d consider joining it myself."

"None." Haruki answered, flatly. "None at all."

He emphasized this, and then slowly let out a breath. A sigh?

"My assumption was that high school wouldn’t be waste of time. Ultimately, it's just the same as mandatory education. Nothing here ever changes. Nothing here is interesting. I joined the wrong school."

Exactly what criteria did you have in mind when you decided what school to attend?

"Sports clubs and cultural clubs are exactly the same. They’re all boring. If there was some unique, exceptional club in this school, then I might consider joining. "

"Who put you in charge of deciding what clubs are interesting or not?"

"Silence! If I like a club, then it's unique; otherwise, it's plain. A waste of time."

"I knew you’d say that."

"Mmm.”

Annoyed, he looked back up at the ceiling, marking the end of the day's conversation.

On another day:

"I, um, overheard something the other day... It's not very important, but... did you really dump all your girlfriends?"

"What does it matter to you?"

He flipped a lock of hair out from in front of his face, and stared at me with those bright, cold eyes. Doesn’t his face have any other expressions besides “Angry” and “Bored”?

"Did that one girl tell you? Taniguchi, right? Why is that girl in the same class as me year after year? I hope she isn't one of those stalking psycho girls...”

Don't think so.

"I do not know what you heard, but it does not matter. Most of it is true, in any case."

"So you never met a girl you ever wanted to have a serious relationship with?"

"Not one!"

He seems to totally dismiss everything.

"Every single one of them was silly and childish! I cannot engage in a serious relationship with any of them! Each one expects to be taken out to dinner with candles! Often a sappy romantic movie beforehand, for a 'heart-pounding experience'! And at the end of the day, all they’d say is a shy 'see you tomorrow' and then walk away!"

"I don’t see much that’s wrong with that," I thought to myself; but there’s no way I’d say that out loud. If Haruki says it's bad, then it’s bad. No exceptions.

"Then, without fail, they would confess their deep love and adoration over the phone. Why could they not tell me something that important to my face?!"

I can understand how those girls felt, though. Making such an important― to them, at least― confession to someone with this strong a personality would probably make anyone feel uneasy. They probably lost their nerve just from seeing your expression, Haruki. I really hope I never have to date a guy like that.

"Yeah, you’re right. I’d ask the guy up to the school rooftop or something and tell him there."

"Who said anything about you?"

What? Did I say something wrong again?

"What I want to know is, are all girls so dimwitted and annoying? This question has been bothering me since junior high."

Hey, don’t forget who you’re talking to!

"Then, what kind of girl would be ‘interesting’ to you? An alien?"

"I am fine with aliens or similar things as long as they are not normal. Be they male or female."

"Why is it so important that they not be human?!"

Haruki looked down at me like I was a fly he wanted to squish.

"Because ordinary humans are no fun at all!"

"That’s… well, you could be right..."

I have to agree with Haruki on this one; if it turns out that some cute transfer student is half earthling and half alien, that’d be pretty cool. If Taniguchi, currently sitting next to me and stealing quick glances at Haruki and me, was secretly a magical girl who fought evil in the shadows alongside a talking lizard, it’d be even cooler. If Asakura Ryou, who for some reason keeps smiling at me, was a super-powered prince from a long-forgotten kingdom, then my school life would be as exciting as it could get.

But there’s no way that could happen— no aliens, time travelers, handsome princes, or magical powers exist in this world.

Even if they did exist, they wouldn’t just appear right in front of average people like me and go "Hello, I'm actually an alien!"

"THAT'S WHY!"

Haruki suddenly stood up and knocked his chair backwards, causing everyone to turn and look at him.

"THAT'S WHY I'M WORKING SO HARD!!"

"Sorry I’m late!"

The always-optimistic Okabe-sensei, who looks out of breath, rushed into the classroom. When she saw the whole class looking at Haruki standing, his fists clenched, eyes closed, she became just as surprised and just stood there.

"Er... Homeroom is about… to start…"

Haruki sat down immediately and glared at the corner of his desk. Thank god…

I turned around, the whole class followed suit and turned their heads as well. Then Okabe-sensei, obviously disoriented by the commotion, wobbled to the front of the room and let out a soft cough.

"I, um, apologize for being late. Eh... Then let's begin!"

She repeats again, and the class atmosphere finally reverts back to normal— though this is the sort of atmosphere that Haruki hates the most.

Maybe that’s just the way life is?

To be honest, however, inside my heart I'm pretty jealous of Haruki's attitude towards life.

He still has the hopes that I abandoned long ago, the vain hope that he’d meet someone magically special, and he enthusiastically tries to achieve his dream. ‘If sitting around waiting is not going to achieve anything, let's meet them ourselves’! That’s why Haruki does strange things like drawing white lines on the school field, painting symbols on the school roof, and pasting cursed paper talismans everywhere.

Sigh...

I wonder when Haruki started to do weird stuff that made others brand him as an occultist? I guess he was thinking something like ‘Waiting achieves nothing, so why not perform some weird ceremonies to call them out?’ In the end, however, nothing happened. Is that why Haruki always has that "screw-everything" look on his face...?

"Hey, Kyon."

After class, Taniguchi, with an utterly baffled face, tried to corner me.

Taniguchi, you look like a total moron with that expression.

"Shut it! That’s not important right now. What kind of spell did you cast?"

"Spell? What spell?"

I once heard that highly advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. I remember this as I reply. She then jabbed her finger at Haruki's empty seat.

"I’ve never seen Suzumiya talk to anybody for that long! What did you find that could possibly interest him?"

That, eh, what did we talk about? I just asked him some normal questions, that's all.

"I can’t believe it!"

Taniguchi put on an awed expression full of sarcasm. Kunikida popped out from behind her.

"It’s nothing new... Kyon has always liked weird guys like that."

Hey, wait a minute! Don't say things that'll cause a misunderstanding!

"It doesn't matter if Kyon likes weird guys, that’s not my point. What I can't understand is why Suzumiya would want to talk to Kyon! I don't get it at all."

Is no one listening to me? Hey!

"Maybe Kyon is as weird as he is?"

I am not! Stop talking about me like I’m not here.

"Probably. I mean you can't expect someone with a nickname like Kyon to be normal."

Stop calling me Kyon, Kyon, Kyon! Can’t you people use my real name instead of that overly cute nickname? At the very least, I want to hear my brother call me ‘Onee-chan’!

"Actually, I’d like to know the reason as well."

A cheerful, melodious voice came out of nowhere as a hand touched my shoulder. I lifted my head and saw Asakura Ryou's handsome smiling face.

"I tried talking to Suzumiya-kun a few times already but nothing came of it. How do you get him to talk to you so easily?"

I was so surprised that I didn't even think about his question at all.

"I dunno."

Upon hearing this, Asakura smiled.

"I feel relieved that at the very least Haruki won't go on being isolated from his classmates, so it's great that you've become his friend.”

Asakura Ryou behaves like the class president because, well, he is our class president. He was elected in our last lengthy home room session.

"F-friend, huh?"

I shook my head uncertainly. Is he really my friend? The only expression Haruki gives me whenever I talk to him is that scowl!

"You need to continue helping Suzumiya-kun so that he can get along with the rest of us. We are the same class, so I’ll be counting on you."

Even if you say that, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!

"If there is anything I need to tell Suzumiya-kun, I’ll just ask you to pass on my message."

Wait one minute! I don’t want to be his personal secretary!

"Please?" he asked, lightly putting his palms together.

Faced with a request in that manner, the only thing I could do was give vague, uncomfortable responses like "erm" and "ahh...". Asakura took that as a yes and rewarded me with his charming, sunlight-like smile, and then went back to his desk. After noticing that a lot of the girls in the class were staring at me with angry eyes, my heart fell to the bottom of a canyon.

Apparently, somebody decided that the students should change seats every month. Therefore, Asakura Ryou wrote all the seat numbers onto little pieces of paper, placed them in a cookie tin, and let each of us draw from it. This could be my chance to get away from Haruki forever!

In the end, I got the seat in the second to last row next to the window that overlooks the courtyard. Guess who took the last seat right behind me? That's right. It's the ever-scowling Haruki.

Just my luck...

"Why won’t anything interesting happen here?!” He’s complaining again. “Like little grade school kids disappearing one by one and their bodies being found in the river, or maybe some teachers getting murdered inside a locked classroom! Something exciting like that!"

"Stop saying that kind of scary stuff."

"I joined the Mystery Study Group."

"Oh? What happened?"

"Nothing interesting! Furthermore, all the club members are detective novel fans but there isn't anyone there that resembles a detective!"

"Isn't that normal?"

"I actually had some hope for the Supernatural Study Group."

"Really?"

"However, they all turned out to be a bunch of occult maniacs.”

Sounds like you’d fit right in.

“Does that sound fun to you?!"

"Not really."

"Everything is too boring! Why does this school not have any decently interesting clubs?"

"Well, I guess there's not much you can do about that."

"I thought after I graduated to senior high I would encounter some good clubs, but this, this is like trying to get into the Major Leagues but then discovering that the school you're attending doesn't even have a baseball team!"

Haruki looked as if he were some sort of spectre ready to go to a hundred Buddhist monasteries to lay some curses. He stared out at the sky with utter disdain and let out a huge sigh.

Should I feel sorry for him?

I don't know what sort of clubs Haruki likes. Maybe even he doesn't know the answer. He just wants to "do something interesting." What, then, is "something interesting?” to him? Does that involve solving a murder mystery? Searching for UFOs? Or maybe even exorcism? I don’t think he has any idea either. He just wants something different in his life.

I know how that feels.

"I think it can't be helped if there aren't any."

I decided to express my opinion.

"Judging from our history," I began, "Humans are usually satisfied with the way things are at the time. However, those who aren’t will try to invent or discover something to advance their civilization. Someone wanted to fly so they invented airplanes. Someone wanted to travel easily so cars and trains were made. Those things, however, were created by people who possessed special talents. Only a genius can convert their imaginings into reality. We ordinary people should just live out our ordinary lives in an ordinary fashion. It’s not our job to act on impulse just because we feel bored."

"Silence!"

Haruki just cut off what I thought was a really great speech, and turned his head away from me. Looks like he's in a really bad mood right now. But then again, when isn't he? I’m used to it already.

Haruki probably doesn't care about anything— unless it involves supernatural powers far surpassing reality. The world doesn't have those, however. No, really. I should know, I looked for any sign of the impossible for years.

However, I must give thanks to the laws of physics! Thanks to you, we humans can live in peace. Though I doubt Haruki would give you his gratitude.

I am normal, right?

Something must have triggered it.

Maybe it's the above conversation?

Because, unfortunately for me, I never saw it coming.

It was warm and sunny outside, so everyone in the class was getting sleepy. Just as I was nodding my head and going to sleep, a powerful force suddenly grabbed my ponytail and pulled backwards. The pain woke me up, and I instinctively grabbed my ponytail and held on tight. Awkwardly, I turned my head around, all the while trying to pull my hair back. It hurt so bad that my eyes started to tear up.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing!?" Are you in elementary school or something? Let go already!

From the edge of my field of vision, I saw Haruki, one hand grabbing my hair, smiling a big smile that was as bright as the desert sun — this is the first time I've seen him smile. If smiles can be measured in terms of temperature, then his smile was as hot as the Sahara desert.

"I got it!"

Hey, don't spit all over me! And let go!

"Why didn't I think of this before?"

Haruki's eyes shone as brightly as the stars.

He stared at me pointedly. More worried about my hair than where this was leading to, I asked:

"What is that you finally thought of?"

"If it doesn't exist, I can just create one myself!"

"Create what?"

"A club!"

My head suddenly hurt and I don't think it had anything to do with my hair nearly being ripped out.

"Really? Wow, that’s a really excellent idea. Can you let go of my hair now?"

Haruki lessened his grip of my hair but not his excitement.

"What's with that attitude? You should be waaay happier about something like this!"

"Look, we can talk about your wonderful idea later. Right now, I just want you to think about where we are, and then you can share your incredible joy with me. But just calm down first, okay?"

"Why? What d'you mean?"

"Class is still on."

Haruki finally let go of my ponytail. I rubbed the back of my aching head and turned around slowly. I noticed that the whole class looked completely awestruck. The freshly graduated newbie English teacher, with his chalk in his hand, stared at me and looked as if he was ready to cry.

I signaled Haruki to sit down quickly and bowed politely towards the poor teacher.

Please continue with the lesson.

I heard Haruki grumble about something and sat down unwillingly. The teacher then resumed his writing on the board...

Create a new club?

Hmmmm...

Don't tell me I'm already a member?

My aching scalp just serves to increase my feeling of unease.

It seemed like my horrible premonition had come true.

After class, Haruki didn't disappear instantly from the classroom as usual. This time, he picked me up off the ground as though I weighed nothing, and proceeded to carry me (kicking and screaming) through the corridors, up the stairs, and all the way to just in front of the door leading to the rooftop.

This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to be swept of my feet by a handsome prince. I don’t even want to think about what the rest of the class must have thought...

The door here is usually locked, and the staircase above the fourth floor seems to have been used as a storage room by the Art Club. Giant canvases, near-broken picture frames, statues of war gods with missing noses and such are all piled up in this little staircase, making what is supposed to be a narrow space even narrower.

What's the point in bringing me to a place like this? What, are you going to make me your bride? I’m not an alien! Put me down!

He did.

"Help me out."

...Haruki said with both his hands on my shoulders, looking straight into my eyes, and, of course, towering over me. This feels like a confession.

Great, now I’m blushing.

"Help you with what...?"

"Help me make my new club!"

"Okay, wait a minute. Why on earth should I help you make something you just thought up five minutes ago?"

"I’ll need to secure a room for the club as well as members, so I’ll need you to find out what paperwork the administration needs."

He wasn't even listening to me!

I grabbed Haruki’s hands and removed them from my shoulders.

"What exactly is this club going to be about?"

"What does that matter? The most important thing right now is to make the club!"

I really don't think the school's gonna let you make a club with no clear goals in mind, Haruki.

"Listen up, Kyon! After school today, you’ll go and find out what needs to be done, and I'll go and find a room for the club. Okay?"

If I had replied with a ‘NO!’, he'd probably have done something horrible to me. While I was hesitating on the best way to phrase a complete and outright refusal, Haruki had already run off down the stairs, leaving a very disoriented schoolgirl standing alone at the top of a dusty stairwell.

"... But I haven't even agreed to help..."

Sigh... saying that to a plaster statue is pointless. I could only drag my heavy feet back to the classroom, thinking about how I’d explain the previous scene to my curious classmates.

Requirements for organizing an "association": Five or more members. A sponsor teacher, a club name, a designated chairperson, and a summary of projected club goals and activities. Approval from the School Council Executive Committee. Adherence to the School Policy of creativity and vivaciousness. Based on the association's records and results, the Executive Committee reserves the right to promote the association into a 'study group'. Associations do not get school funding.

I didn't really have to go out and look for the requirements-- they were all listed at the back of the student handbook.

The membership requirements would be easy to take care of; we could probably just grab anybody to make up the numbers. And it probably wouldn't be much harder to get a teacher to sponsor us. The name just had to be inoffensive... and the chairperson? No doubt it'd be Haruki himself.

I was willing to bet, however, that our club activities were probably not going to adhere to school policy.

Of course, it's not as if Haruki cares about the rules at all.

As the bell rang to signify the end of class, Haruki demonstrated his horrific, ogre-like strength as he simply grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder and took off. It was all I could do to grab my bag before we zoomed away.

"Where the hell are we going!?" I asked, because that's what any normal person would do. That, and I was panicking at my second kidnapping in a day.

"The clubroom!" was Haruki's curt response, as he bowled over a few slow-moving students before sinking back into silence. Put me down, you idiot! Your hands are dangerously close to a place that will get you slapped!

We crossed the passages between buildings and descended the stairs to the first floor, before heading to a different building and hurtling up another staircase. Haruki stopped in the middle of a dimly-lit hallway, and finally set me down.

There was a door in front of us. Literature Club, the crooked nametag above the door announced.

"Here it is!"

Without even knocking, Haruki opened the door and barged into the room without even a hint of consideration for anybody. Reluctantly, I followed him inside.

The room was surprisingly large, maybe because the only things inside were a long table, cold metal chairs, and a few steel bookshelves. Tiny cracks on the ceiling and walls warned of the decrepit state of the building.

And seated in one of the metal chairs, as though he were just another piece of furniture, sat a skinny male student reading a thick hardcover novel.

"From this day forth, this room shall be ours!" announced Haruki in a dignified fashion, crossing his arms across his chest. His face was shining with that fiery, energetic smile. If only he'd show that smile in class...

Of course, there’s no way I’d say that thought out loud.

"Wait just a minute," I said. "Where is this place?"

"We're in the Cultural and Arts club building. You know how the Art Club and the school Orchestra get their own art and music rooms? Well, clubs that don't get special rooms like that hold all their meetings here, in this building. It's called the 'Old Complex'. And this particular room happens to belong to the Literature Club!"

Did he memorize all that?

"Then, what about the Literature Club?"

Haruki waved a hand dismissively. "After all the third-years graduated in spring, the club had zero members. If nobody had joined this year, the club would've been canceled."

What about the guy in the corner?

"Well, as it is, he's their only new member. He's a first-year, like us."

"Well, then, the club hasn't been canceled!"

"Bah, same difference! A club with only one member is the same as a club with none, you know?"

You... idiot! We’re going to take over other people's clubrooms now?

I glanced at the Literature Club's newest member. He had short hair and glasses, and hadn't looked up once. Apart from his fingers moving merely to turn a page of his novel, he hadn't moved at all, and was completely ignoring our presence. Another strange one...

"What about him?" I whispered sideways to Haruki.

"He said he's fine with it."

"For real?"

"I asked him during lunch. I told him I needed him to lend us the room, and he said go ahead, just so long as he can read his books in here in peace. Now that you mention it, though, he is pretty weird."

You’re one to talk, Haruki!

This time, I observed him more carefully.

His skin was pale, his face expressionless. The movement of his fingers was robotic. Thick, square glasses glared sharply in the sunlight, concealing his eyes; it made me want to take them off to see what he looked like. He was almost like some sort of living doll.

As if he had noticed my observations, he suddenly lifted his head and adjusted his glasses slightly. Dark-colored eyes stared at me from beneath those thick lenses; his face revealed no expression at all. He was almost entirely unlike Haruki - his default face seemed to be a poker face.

It’s kind of scary, actually.

"Nagato Yuuki."

His tone suggested that most people would forget his name within three seconds of hearing it. He stared at me for a moment, then, as if losing interest, turned back to his book.

"Say, Nagato-kun." I said, hesitantly. "Haruki here wants to use your room for an I -have-no-idea-what Club. Is that really alright with you?"

"Yes."

Nagato's gaze never left his book once.

"But, um, we might be trouble for you."

"No matter."

"You might even get chased out of here, or something..."

"Feel free."

He answered my questions immediately, but there was no sense of feeling in any of his responses. I guess he really didn't care either way, so long as he had his books.

Haruki shrugged at me, then grinned.

"Right, then it's decided!”

He sounded really hyper; it gave me a bad feeling. How much caffeine have you had today, Haruki?

"From now on, we will meet in this room after class. Be sure you show up! Or else!"

He said this with a smile as dazzling as the crescent moon. Reluctantly, I nodded my head.

I really didn't want to know what twisted schemes he had in store for me if I didn't show up.

The next day, after school, I regretfully declined Taniguchi and Kunkida's offer to walk home with them (though I wasn't going to miss their snide comments about my figure) and reluctantly dragged my heavy feet towards the clubroom.

Haruki had already told me "You go on ahead!" and dashed out of the room with a speed which reminded me why the Athletics Club so feverently desired his membership. He's so fast... maybe he attached booster rockets to his feet? Is he excited because he's going to go find members for our group? Or because he's a single step closer to meeting aliens?

I can’t possibly match that speed. So, I slung my bookbag over my shoulder and unenthusiastically slouched towards the Literature Clubroom, thanking my lucky stars that he hadn't simply decided to kidnap me again.

Nagato Yuuki was already in the classroom when I got there. He was even in the exact same position as last time, and, just like yesterday, was ignoring my presence, his head buried in the book. I know this is the Literature Club, but doesn't he do anything besides read?

Silence.

"... What are you reading?" I asked, unable to stand the silence any longer. Instead of answering, Nagato Yuuki merely raised the book he was reading to show me the cover. It was lettered with flashy foreign words that I had no hope of understanding. I think it might’ve been some kind of science fiction book, the kind my dad always reads.

"Is it interesting?"

He pushed up the bridge of his glasses with a slight motion, and replied in an empty voice. "Unique."

I got the feeling he was just giving me any answers so I'd stop questioning him.

"...which part of it?"

"All of it."

"...guess you like books, huh?"

"Very."

"Is that so...?"

"..."

Silence. Again.

As I put my bag down on the desk, I wondered if I could just leave and not deal with Haruki. But just as I prepared to sit down on the steel chair, the door flew open. Correction: It was kicked open. Brutally.

"Hi!" Haruki said cheerfully, marching in through the doorway and giving an airy wave to me and Nagato Yuuki. "Sorry for being late, but it took a while to catch him!" He dragged in somebody by their wrist - he'd gone and kidnapped someone else! - and turned and locked the door.

Click! The newcomer flinched at the ominous sound, and begun to tremble a little.

It was another boy.

And a ridiculously cute one at that.

He was small and slim, looking more like a middle school student playing dress-up in a North High uniform. His brown hair was tousled in a sort of childish way, and his large puppy-dog eyes cast around with a silent appeal for help. He reminded me a bit of my little brother.

This is Haruki's 'chosen candidate'?

"W-what are you doing?" the boy trembled. "W-where is this place? Why did you bring me here? W-Why are you locking the door?! Wha-"

"Silence."

The boy froze with a start at Haruki's sudden, imperious voice, and gave an involuntary yelp as Haruki pounced on him, a companionable arm around the newcomer's shoulders and a huge smile beaming on his face. "Let me introduce you, then... this is Asahina Mitsuuru!"

...

...Was that the entire introduction?!

Silence engulfed the classroom once more. Haruki looked satisfied with his "job well done"; Nagato Yuuki, as usual, kept reading his book without any sign of emotion; and the boy called Asahina Mitsuuru was simply scared out of his wits. It didn't look like anybody was going to say something, so simply to break the silence, I opened my mouth.

"Where did you kidnap him from?!" I demanded, hands on my hips. Maybe being more forceful with Haruki would make him rethink this insanity.

"Eh, I didn’t kidnap him! I just forced him to come with me."

That's the same thing!

"I found him daydreaming in a second-year classroom. I go through the whole school during breaks, so I'd seen him before already. He's perfect for our plans!"

Plans? What plans? Wait, so that's where you've been going at breaks. More importantly, though...

"Hang on, that makes him an upperclassman!"

Though he doesn’t look like one... but I’m not in any position to talk.

“And that matters because...?”

I looked at him in disbelief. Don't tell me he really didn't see anything wrong with what he had been doing. He must have been behind the door the day they were handing out the brains. I guess being more forceful wasn't really working, either.

"Argh, nevermind... um, Asahina-senpai, right? Why do we need him for your club?"

"Just take a look!" Haruki slapped Asahina-senpai on the back with some force, causing him to stumble towards me. I took an involuntary step backwards, and Asahina-senpai ended up grabbing the edge of the table for support.

"See how weak he is?" Haruki declared. "See how easily he's defeated? What he needs is guts! Guts and courage! If you have those, then you'll never be beaten, but if you lack them, then you'll never amount to anything! You won't be worthy of being called a man!"

That's really not very nice, Haruki.

Haruki grasped the air with his fist. “Therefore, this will be our club’s first project! To turn this runty weakling, this non-man, into a man to be envied by all! A man among men!”

My initial thoughts were that Haruki had gone so far off the deep end he'd come right out the other side. He did have a bit of a point though... Asahina-senpai was probably the least manly man I'd ever seen. He'd be pretty popular with some girls, though. And at least he wasn't as crazy as certain unnamed individuals.

“Hey, that’s t-too mean!”

Asahina Mitsuuru had regained his footing, and turned to face Haruki. “I-I’m a man too, you know!” he stuttered.

"Oh? Is that so?" Haruki draped his arms around Asahina-senpai again. He looks like a dangerous kidnapper like that. "How much of a man are you, really?"

Oh no, his eyes look dangerous! Run, Asahina-senpai!

His hand suddenly moved down Asahina Mitsuuru’s body, down to...

Oh. Oh my god.

I wasn't sure who screamed first, but I'd like to think that it was Asahina-senpai, because it's less embarrassing for me. Haruki had really gone too far this time.

"Stop that!" I shouted, trying to push the two of them apart. "What the hell do you think you're doing? That's sexual harassment!" Do you want to be sued!?

“Heh heh, well... whaddya know?" Haruki chuckled without any shame whatsoever. “He really is a man after all! You wanna check?”

I flushed bright crimson immediately. “What? No!”

Haruki finally let go of Asahina-senpai, who sagged onto the ground, exhausted. The odd thing - well, another odd thing, really - was that Nagato Yuuki hadn't looked up once from his book the entire time. What's with him?

“You see what I mean, right, though? If we can turn something like that into the living embodiment of the spirit of men, the righteousness of our cause shall have been proven to all! All of this, of course, is but a small part of my plan.”

This plan of yours seems dangerous, and not something any sane person would want to get involved with.

“So that’s why you kidnapped him? To make him manlier?”

Asahina-senpai was looking at me with tearful eyes. Maybe he thinks I’m going to save him?

"Well, I thought we could use him to advertise our club, too. Kind of like a... mascot character, that’s it! Something like that."

...It’s official. Haruki’s idiocy has surpassed the idiocy of all the other idiotic idiots in the world. He could join a traveling freak show as "The Most Dangerous Idiot Ever".

"Mitsuuru-kun!" Haruki demanded. "You in any clubs?"

"Uh... uh... I'm in the H-Home Economics Club..."

"Quit that! Not manly enough. Besides, it’ll get in the way of our club activities."

Hey, aren't you being ridiculously selfish here?

Asahina-senpai looked like a victim in what was about to be a murder being asked to choose between death by cyanide or death by strychnine. He focused that puppy-dog stare at me, begging to be rescued; then he noticed Nagato Yuuki for the first time, and his eyes widened in surprise.

"I... see..." he half-whispered, in a voice as soft as the song of a dragonfly, staring at the silent student in the corner. "I understand..."

Uh, what did you just understand?

"I'll quit the Home Ec. club, and join this one..."

Eh?

He hesitated. "But, uh, I'm not sure what the Literature Club actually does..."

"Oh, don’t worry about that. We're not the Literature Club," Haruki explained, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Seeing Asahina-senpai looking confused, I hurriedly cut in to explain.

"We're just borrowing this room for a little while. The club that you've just been forced to join is actually an unnamed organization to be chaired by Suzumiya Haruki that will participate in unknown activities."

"...I’m sorry, what...?"

"In fact, that guy sitting over there is the real and only Literature Club member".

"Oh..."

Asahina-senpai blinked slowly in astonishment, his lips half-open, struck speechless. Couldn't blame him.

"No worries!" said Haruki, his cheerful face declaring himself completely and totally free from any kind of responsibility. He smacked Asahina-senpai's shoulder, hard. "I just thought of a name! That's the most important part of forming a club!"

I thought gathering members was the most important part… oh, whatever.

I glared at Haruki.

"Okay," I said, injecting as much sarcasm into my voice as possible, "let's hear it."

I didn't really want to hear the name, but Haruki was going to tell me anyway. He took a deep breath, in preparation for the momentous revelation of the name of his Grand Design.

Attention, everyone! The name of our fledgling club has been decided. No alterations were made; this is purely the result of Suzumiya Haruki's mind.

The SOS Brigade!

Save the World by

Overloading it with Fun

Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade

The Save the World by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade, abbreviated as SOS Brigade.

I give you all permission to laugh.

I was too dumbstruck, though, to even manage that.

You're probably wondering why it's called a "Brigade". Technically, it should be the "Save the World by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Association", but we hadn't satisfied the minimum requirements to become an association, and in any case nobody knew what the club was about, anyway. "Well, let's just call it a brigade, then!" said Haruki, his incomprehensible words settling the matter. And thus was our magnificent club name born.

Asahina-senpai kept his mouth shut, as though resigned to his fate. Nagato Yuuki was technically an outsider. And I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Consequently, the naming of Haruki's club as the "SOS Brigade" passed on one 'aye' and three abstentions.

The SOS Brigade is now open for business! This is such a wonderful occasion!

How did I get involved in this?

Sigh...

Look, just... do whatever you want...

After ordering us to meet here every day after school, or else, Haruki called it a day. As I left the Old Complex, the sight of Asahina-senpai trudging lifelessly along the hallway, shoulders drooped, was so sad I just couldn't bear it. I called out to him.

"Senpai!"

"Yes?"

Asahina-senpai looked at me with his innocent face. He really didn't seem that much older than me.

"Look, you really don’t have to join a weird club like this if you don’t want to. Don’t worry about Suzumiya; I'll find a way to explain it to him."

"No."

He stopped and smiled at me.

"It's all right. I want to join."

"But I really don't think this will turn out well at all.”

"But you're in it, aren't you?"

Yeah... but not by choice. Why am I even still here?

"This was probably inevitable on the temporal plane..." he said, his eyes staring off into the distance.

""Pardon?"

"And I'm interested in the presence of Nagato-san..."

"Interested?"

"Eh? Oh, no, it's nothing." he said, shaking his head. His hair waved gently as he smiled, looking embarrassed, and gave me a deep bow.

"I may be a little trouble, but please bear with me for now!"

"Uh, if you say so, but look, Asahina-senpai-"

"Please, just call me Mitsuuru!"

He smiled.

Aww... he’s so cute!

The following is a conversation I had with Haruki the next day.

"You know what we need next?"

"Beats me."

"We need to get our hands on a Mysterious Transfer Student!"

I sighed. "What, exactly, defines a “mysterious transfer student”?"

"Those that get transferred two months after the school term has started are, without exception, Mysterious Transfer Students."

"Maybe their parents just got a job transfer and they got dragged along."

"Bah, that would be too forced and unnatural!"

"You know, I’d really like to know what you of all people considers unnatural.”

"Mm, A Mysterious Transfer Student... when is one going to show up?"

"Why don’t you ever listen to me!?”

Rumours started to fly that Haruki and I were plotting something.

"What exactly are you up to with Haruki?"

Taniguchi seemed upset.

"You're not..." - she took a deep breath inward - "GOING OUT, are you?"

No way! And if there's anybody here who'd like to know exactly what it is we're doing, it's me!

"Well, don't go doing anything too stupid, okay? You're not in middle school anymore. If you vandalize the sports field, you'll get a suspension at the very least."

If it were just Haruki acting up on his own, I could simply ignore him. But he's dragged Nagato Yuuki and Asahina Mitsuuru-senpai into this mess now - I've got to at least see to it that they don't come to any harm. I'm kind of proud of how considerate I was being.

Problem was, Haruki's strong enough to just carry me off wherever he wants, and I doubted I had much chance of stopping him...

"We need a computer!"

Since the founding of the SOS Brigade, the once sparse Literature Clubroom began to accumulate a growing number of items. A portable clothes-rack stood in one corner of the room; an electric kettle and cups for everybody was always on hand, along with a traditional teapot, a single-compartment refrigerator, a portable gas stove, and eating utensils. A stereo system (connected to a CD/MD player/radio) and a PS2 sat nearby. What was this stuff for? Did he plan to live here or something?

Haruki was sitting on a desk he'd stolen from who-knows-where, cross-legged, cross armed and just generally cross. By his side sat a black triangular pyramid across which the worlds "Brigade Commander" had been scrawled in magic marker.

"It's a tragedy! We're living in the information age, and yet a Brigade as important as mine doesn't even have a single computer!"

What are you talking about?

In any case, all the members of Haruki's little gang were here today. Nagato Yuuki sat silently in his usual spot, reading a book about a moon of Saturn falling or something like that. Asahina-senpai had obediently arrived (despite the fact that he didn't really have to be here...) and was seated on a steel chair, looking confused.

Haruki jumped off the desk and ran towards me with a sinister smile.

"Let's go scrounge one up!" Haruki said, like a hunter looking for its prey.

"Scrounge one up? A PC? From where?" I asked, without any enthusiasm. "You're not going to rob an electronics store, are you?"

"No, no!" he replied, imperiously. "Why go all that way when we can get one somewhere much closer?"

"Follow me!" he ordered to me and Asahina-senpai as he dashed off out of the room. We found him about two doors down the corridor from us, outside the doorway that led into the Computer Club's room.

I’m beginning to see where he’s going with this.

"Hold this."

Haruki handed me an digital camera.

"Listen up, Kyon! I'll tell you my brilliant plan, and you've got to stick to it no matter what! There might only be one chance, one single window of opportunity!"

He bent down towards me and whispered his 'plan' in my ear.

"What!? No way! You can't do that!"

"This plan is but a small part of my Master Plan! It'll be fine!"

Fine for you, maybe. "But... Asahina-senpai-"

"Silence! No buts!" Great. Just great. I glanced towards a puzzled Asahina-senpai and tried to make eye-contact, to warn him about Haruki's insane plot. Run, run, or you'll be well done! But as I blinked my eyes furiously, Asahina-senpai looked at me surprised, and began to blush. Oh, no, he got the wrong idea completely!

Just as I was about to open my mouth and tell Asahina-senpai what was about to happen, Haruki had already burst into the room without knocking.

"What's up, people?! We've come to collect a computer!"

The layout of the room was similar to the Literature Clubroom, but the room itself seemed a lot smaller. A large number of monitors and PC cases were placed neatly on the uniformly spaced tables. The low whirring of cooling fans resonated through the room. The five girls who had been clattering away at their keyboards all turned their heads towards the entrance, to the guy who had just entered the room.

"Who's in charge here?" Haruki demanded, a smile on his face. One of the girls stood up.

"I'm the President of the Computer Club. Can I, ah, help you?"

"Do I really need to repeat myself? Give us a computer!"

The nameless Computer Club President flashed an expression of pure "what the hell?" for a second and violently shook her head. "No way! We don't get enough school funding, so these computers were all bought out of our own hard-earned cash! We can't just give them out to people for free! Do you think we're idiots?"

"One can't hurt! You've got loads of computers!" Haruki said this while sweeping his hand across the room.

"Now, look here- hang on, who the heck are you people, anyway?"

Haruki puffed up his chest. "I am that I am! I am Suzumiya Haruki, Supremely Manly Commander of the SOS Brigade! These are my subordinates, Number One and Number Two!"

...Subordinates? Since when are we your subordinates?

"I command you in the name of the SOS Brigade. Hand over a computer at once! No grumbling, no excuses!" Haruki demanded again. The Computer Club President shook her head.

"I have no idea who you guys are, but there's no way you're getting one of our PCs! Go buy your own!"

"Hah!" Haruki snorted. "If you're of that mind... well... we have our ways of ensuring co-operation."

His eyes blazed with confidence. I had a baaad feeling about this.

Haruki started to pace the room, slowly, like a lion stalking its prey. "I've heard... rumours... about a certain group of girls who are into some really nasty, forbidden, stuff." he said, quietly, but with an undertone of menace. "They even produce their own doujinshi to sell at Comiket, using official school funding... at least, that's what the rumours say."

He whirled suddenly and slammed a fist into a bookshelf, causing a box to topple onto the floor and spill its contents everywhere. I flushed as I caught a glimpse of all the man-on-man images staring up out of the pages of the fallen magazines before I managed to avert my gaze.

"W-we can explain!"

The president began to protest loudly, but she, too, was suddenly blushing like mad. "Those are our, um - our private, um-"

"Silence!"

Haruki had apparently had enough.

"Here's how this is going to go down." he said, suddenly stooping and putting his face down close to the President's. "You're going to give us a computer, and I'm not going to tell anybody that you're making gay porn manga with the school's money. Understand?"

"Did you come here just to blackmail us?" one of the members asked, trying to stand up.

"No, I came here to extort a computer from you."

That’s the same thing!

“...No.” The president had decided to stand up for herself.

“Even if you tell the administration, we can just get rid of the magazines! You'll have no proof! What do you say to that?"

Haruki grinned like a Cheshire Cat. "Kyon, do me a huge favour, and take a picture of these magazines, would you?"

Click!

I reluctantly pressed the shutter button. Great, now I’m an accessory to blackmail.

“Kyaaaaaah!” That would be the President, shrieking. “Y-you still don’t have any proof! That photo could have been taken in any room in this building!”

Still grinning, Haruki swept the hair back out of his face. “Okay, then. We’ll trade." he said. "We’ll take your computer, and you can have Mitsuuru-kun as your personal shouta butler. I notice you guys seem to be into that kinda thing.”

The president blushed slightly and looked sideways at Asahina-senpai.

“Our personal butler…? But... but how do we know he isn’t just some girl you grabbed and threw into a male uniform?”

“Oh, that’s easy enough.”

Haruki shoved Asahina-senpai, who was standing dazed next to him, towards the President, and then - with lightning speed - grabbed her hand and shoved it down Asahina-senpai's pants.

"KYAAA-"

"WAHHH-"

Click!

To the sound of the two of them screaming, I clicked the shutter of the digital camera once again. Haruki grabbed Asahina-senpai, who was trying desperately to escape, and punted the President on top of him. "Kyon! One more shot!"

I reluctantly clicked the shutter button again. Asahina-senpai, nameless President, forgive me.

"WHA- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"The president had managed to roll off of Asahina-senpai.

Haruki wiggled his finger in the President's bright red face.

"Tsk tsk! If the photos of your gay porn aren't enough, this should be sufficient evidence to convince the administration to disband your little 'club'!"

"T-that's ridiculous!" the President objected furiously. I really felt sorry for her. "You forced me to do it! I'm completely innocent this time!"

This time?

"Oh? How many people are going to believe your story? What with the rumours, and soon the photos... who's gonna take your side?"

I turned to look at Asahina-senpai, lying sprawled on the floor. Guess he must have been so shocked that he'd been totally drained of energy. Meanwhile, the nameless President continued to attempt to resist.

"Th-The other members of the Club are all witnesses to my innocence! That was all against my will!"

The other four members who had been standing dumbstruck around the room all nodded their heads vehemently.

"That's right!"

"Our President is innocent!"

If Haruki had listened to you, then, well, he wouldn't be Haruki. "I'll just say the whole club gang-raped him!"

You could have heard a pin drop.

“T-that’s stupid! Girls can’t rape guys!”

“Really now?" Haruki smiled. "Let me tell you a story. A story of a poor, innocent upperclassman, who had been passing through this hallway, who happened upon a group of sick, depraved females. These women, they decided to entice him into their den of evil with candy, and other such sweets. But lo! When he entered, he was set upon, by these cruel women, who then proceeded to touch him in all sorts of uncomfortable places! But I, Supremely Manly Commander of the SOS Brigade, arrived in the nick of time, and managed to obtain evidence as to their crimes before rescuing the hapless upperclassman! Behold, for I am now a Hero!"

Haruki laughed long and loud.

I think this is the point where I should check him into a mental asylum.

"But-but- Suzumiya-san! T-that's n-not what happen-"

Haruki lightly kicked off Asahina-san, who was clinging desperately to his legs, and haughtily puffed up his chest. "So? What's it gonna be? You gonna hand over a computer... or not?"

The President's face, which had gone from normal, to red, to white over this ordeal, finally turned ashen. She had been defeated.

"J... J... Just pick one and get out!" she managed to snarl, before collapsing dejectedly into a chair. The other members rushed over.

"President!"

"Are you okay?"

"It’s going to be alright, Prez!"

The President's head drooped like a marionette with its strings cut. I may have been an accomplice in this little travesty, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for the little broken figure in the chair.

"Which one's the newest model?" asked Haruki.

That's enough! You're too cold-blooded!

"Wh-Why should we tell you?!"

Haruki simply pointed at me and my camera. The entire club shuddered as one.

"D-Damnit! That one!"

After examining the brand name and model number of the PC the President had indicated, Haruki took a piece of paper out of his blazer pocket.

"I went to the computer store yesterday and had an employee show me all the latest models," he announced. "This wasn't one of them."

How far ahead had he had everything planned out? This is getting freaking scary.

After inspecting every other computer, Haruki finally pointed towards one of them. "Give us this one."

The President's face blanched. "W-Wait! We only bought that one last month!"

"Camera."

"... T-take it, you thieves!"

Like she said, we really are thieves.

Haruki's greed truly knew no bounds. After disconnecting all the cables and wires, he demanded that the monitor and every other little thing be moved to the Literature Club room and reconnected. He even had the Computer Club members run a LAN cable between our room and their room, and connect us to the school's domain on top of that, so that he could use the Internet! He's no better than a common criminal!

"Senpai...."

Since I was totally helpless in the face of the lunacy of Suzumiya Haruki, it was all I could do to help the devastated Asahina-senpai to his feet. He was still kneeling on the ground, covering his face and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Let's just go back for now, OK?" I said gently. He sniffled a bit as I helped him back up. Haruki, you idiot, you said you were going to make Asahina-senpai more manly, not turn him into a nervous wreck! As I tried to comfort Asahina-senpai, I wondered what on earth Haruki wanted a PC for.

Well, I would find out soon enough.

The launch of the official SOS Brigade Website!

...well, that's what Haruki wanted, anyway. So? Who was going to make the website?

"You, of course!" Haruki said.

"Me?"

"You’ve got free time, don't you? Make it!”

What about you?

“I'm too busy looking for more Brigade Members!"

The computer had been placed on the desk with the "Brigade Commander" pyramid. Haruki, who was using it to surf the net, added;

"Have it finished in a day or so. We can’t start doing anything without a web page."

Asahina-senpai was sprawled across the table, shoulders shivering, while Nagato Yuuki was seated as usual in his chair, reading his book and ignoring the world around him. So the only person actually listening to Haruki was me. And as the only person listening to his insane commands, I was the only one who could comply with them. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what Haruki was thinking.

"Look, even if you say that, I'm not making you a website."

Haruki sighed. "Look, what about if I get you a present for it?"

...is he being generous for once?

"I promise you'll like it!"

"...fine." I finally conceded. No, not because I wanted to take orders from Haruki. Put simply, it was a website. I'd never made one before, but it sounded like fun to make, didn't it?

And that was that. The next day saw the beginning of my struggle to create a website.

Having said that, though, it really wasn't that hard at all. The girls in the Computer Club had already preloaded all the necessary software onto the PC, so all I needed to do was follow the instructions, do a little copy-pasting, and that was that. The problem is, though, what should I put on the website?

Right now, I still didn't know what the SOS Brigade is about, so I had absolutely no idea what to write about. After writing 'Welcome to the SOS Brigade Home Page!' on the top, I simply stopped.

"Hurry up and finish it, you hear?"

Haruki's words resounded like a curse in between my ears, so I had to spend lunch break in the clubroom designing the rest of the website.

"Nagato-kun, do you have any ideas on what to write?" I asked. He seemed to come here even during lunch, as well.

"...Not really."

He didn't even look up. I know this is none of my business, but does he even pay attention in class?

Turning my eyes from Nagato back to the 17-inch monitor, I had a sudden thought. What would happen if the school discovered that a yet-to-be-recognized student 'Brigade' was using their bandwidth to host a website?

"Eh, don’t worry!" I imagined Haruki replying, "If they do find out, we’ll just abandon the whole thing. First come, first served, you know?"

You know, in some ways, I'm pretty jealous of Haruki's happy-go-lucky attitude towards life.

I added a free website counter and our email address - it's a little early for a forum - and uploaded the website, which consisted of one page with no actual content on it. There, that should satisfy him! After making sure the page could actually load, I closed all the programs and shut down the PC. As I reached out to stretch my aching hands, I was startled to find Nagato Yuuki standing right behind me.

How did he get behind me!? I didn't hear any footsteps... when did he move? His face was as expressionless as a Noh mask, and he stared at me with his poker face as though I were an eye chart.

"Here."

He held out a thick, hardcover book. Hesitantly, I took it. It sure was heavy... glancing at the cover, it turned out to be the same science-fiction book Nagato was reading a few days ago.

"For you."

After that brief statement, Nagato turned and left the room before I had time to refuse, or even to react properly. Uh, why are you randomly just forcing one of your books into my hand? Is this your idea of a confession or something?

As the bell rang for the end of lunch, I was left alone in the empty classroom. Guess I was surrounded by people who didn't really respect my opinion.

I carried the hardback book all the way back to the classroom and took my seat, only to feel somebody give a hard tug to my ponytail. "So, is my website done?"

Haruki held the edges of his desk and stared at me with a slightly sullen look on his face. I noticed he'd been scribbling all over his textbook; I feigned casualness to try and avoid the stares of my classmates.

"It's done, sure, but... uh... it's kind of crap."

"Good enough for now. We only really need the e-mail address, anyway."

Why don't you just register for one of those free e-mail addresses, then?

"That wouldn't do! What if people flooded my inbox?'

How would a newly-made e-mail account get flooded with mail so quickly?

"Top secret!"

He had that sinister smile on his face again. Gave me the creeps.

This part of your master plan again, Haruki?

Once again, I have a baaaad feeling about this.

"Don’t worry! You’ll find out after school, but until then, it's classified information."

I'd rather never find out, to be honest.

Haruki was nowhere to be seen during sixth period. One could hope he'd just quietly gone home, but knowing Haruki, that was an impossibility. It was another bad omen.

It was after school. I had major misgivings about the entire thing, so why were my legs still carrying me towards the clubroom? While I was making such metaphysical observations, I found myself already outside the door.

"Hey!" I greeted the people inside.

Naturally, Nagato Yuuki was already sitting there, along with Asahina-senpai. I'm not one to talk, but those two certainly have a lot of free time on their hands.

Asahina-senpai greeted me with an obvious look of relief on his face. Guess being stuck in a room alone with Nagato could be awkward, but... he suffered through Haruki's abuse yesterday, and still came?

"Where's Suzumiya-san?" he asked.

"God knows. I haven't seen him since sixth period. He's probably gone to steal more equipment from somewhere..."

"...Will, um, will I be forced... to do something like what happened yesterday... again?"

Seeing his brow creased with worry, I tried to be as gentle as possible.

"Don't worry. If he tries anything strange again, I'll do everything in my power to stop him! He can use his own body for blackmail! Maybe I'm not as strong as he is, but I'm sure I can get him to listen to me."

"...T-thank you!" Asahina-senpai said, giving me a cute little bow. I wanted to just throw my arms around him! I didn't, though. People would probably get the wrong idea.

"I'm counting on you, then!"

"Hey, no worries." I said.

My assurances might have counted for something, though, if they hadn't lasted as long as a baseless theory, a house of cards, or perhaps a water droplet on the surface of the sun. Within five minutes, my assurances had all been thrown straight out the window. I am such an idiot!

"Ya-HOOO!" Haruki exclaimed loudly as he entered the room, carrying two paper bags along with him. (Is that my promised present...?) "Took me longer than expected, sorry for the delay!"

Just like you, isn't it? For somebody as capable of thinking on as many weird levels as Haruki, being considerate of others is probably the last thing on his mind.

Placing the paper bags on the ground, Haruki turned and locked the door. Asahina-senpai reflexively shuddered upon hearing the door click. Is he like a trained animal that’s learned to expect impending doom when hearing that noise?

"What are you planning today, Suzumiya? And before you start, I'm putting my foot down! We're not getting involved in any more theft or blackmail!"

"What are you talking about? I’d never do something like that!”

Really? Then explain the computer on the desk.

"Tribute from my vassals. Anyway, moving on... take a look at THIS!"

He pulled out a bunch of A4-sized papers from one of the bags. They were covered in handwriting.

"These fliers will spread the Word of the SOS Brigade to everyone! Believe me, it took me a lot of hard work to sneak into the photocopying room and print these 200 fliers!"

Haruki handed out the fliers to us. So that's what you were doing during sixth period? You should count yourself lucky you didn't get caught! I bet the teachers are already wondering what happened to all the paper in the photocopier.

Res Gestae Divi Suzumiya

A Proclamation of the SOS Brigade:

We, the SOS Brigade, are searching for all of the mysteries of this world. We welcome anyone who has experienced, is experiencing, or sense that they will experience any kind of supernatural or mysterious event to contact us for consultation. We will strive to answer any and all questions. However, please note that we do not handle normal paranormal events. It must be deemed an extremely shocking mystery before we will take your cause! Our email address is..."

I think I'm getting a faint idea about Haruki's expectations for the SOS Brigade.

"Right, it's time to go hand them out now!"

"What? Where?"

"At the school gate, of course! There should be plenty of students heading home right now!"

Yes, yes, yes, whatever you say, Commander Haruki. But as I was picking up the bag of fliers, Haruki stopped me. "Don't you worry 'bout it. I only need Mitsuuru-kun for this job!"

"Eh?"

Asahina-senpai, who was still half-way through reading a flier, looked up, Puzzled. Haruki rummaged through the other bag and suddenly pulled out another item.

"Voila!"

Smiling as happily as a certain robotic cat, Haruki pulled out a piece of black leather. But - oh, no - as Haruki finished pulling items from his four-dimensional pocket, I understood immediately why he had designated Asahina-senpai for this particular task. Asahina-senpai, you have my prayers for your soul!

Black leather pants, a bow tie, white cuffs, and a sleeveless white tuxedo shirt.

...Chippendales!?

I have never been so happy not to get a present.

"Um... um... what are those... for?" asked Asahina-senpai, sounding frightened. And with good reason, too.

"Can't you tell? Strip-per!" said Haruki, matter-of-factly.

"Y-y-you can't m-mean... for me to w-wear tha-"

"Course I do! There's one for you, see?"

"I c-can't wear something like t-that!" Asahina-senpai protested, but Haruki waved away his argument.

"Don't worry, it’ll fit perfectly! I know your measurements off by heart!"

"W-when did you…?! Um. Y... you don't mean for me to wear that at the school entrance, w-would you?"

“Of course! Aren’t you a man?!"

"I-I don't wan-"

"Bah! Quit complaining!”

Too late; Haruki had that flinty look in his eye. Like a tiger attacking a stray samba deer, Haruki lept onto Asahina-senpai and began to rip off his uniform.

"N-NOoooOOoOoO-!"

"Don't be such a wuss! Stop moving!" Haruki demanded as he pinned down the struggling Asahina-senpai. He easily pulled off Asahina-senpai's blazer and his fingers were already moving towards Asahina-senpai's pants, which was about the point when I finally thought to try and stop Haruki's insanity. But as I moved forwards to try and drag Haruki off him, Asahina-senpai's eyes met mine.

"D-DON'T LOOK!!"

Hearing his scream, my body overrode my brain and rushed me hurridly towards the door- damnit, it's locked! I spent a couple of seconds furiously struggling with the doorknob before it yielded and I stumbled out into the corridor.

And based on the only side-glance I got during the whole ordeal, Yuuki Nagato just sat there the entire time, reading his book as though nothing were happening. Don't you have anything to say about this? This is totally wrong!

As I leaned against the closed door, catching my breath, I could hear Asahina-senpai's protests and screams, mixed in with Haruki's victory cries.

"Arrrrgh! - Noooooo! A-at least let me undress myse- GAAAAAH!!"

"Damnit- come on, take it all off, quickly! You should have just listened to me in the first place-"

I really, really didn't want to think about what was happening inside the room.

A moment later, Haruki's voice came through the door.

"Hey! Get back in here and check us out!”

When I hesitantly re-entered the room, I was greeted by the sight of two Chippendale dancers. Arrgh... their pants are so damn tight, you can see the muscles right through the leather. Haruki, predictably, fit the costume like he was born for it, but Asahina-senpai... well, his personality didn't really go with the outfit. Even if he looked really good in it.

I wondered whether to try and comfort the sobbing Asahina-senpai with a compliment, but Haruki interrupted first.

"What'dya think?"

What do I think? I can only think that your mental capabilities are suspect.

"This is perfect for grabbing everybody's attention!" Haruki declared. "Everybody will want fliers if we walk around like this! Especially... if I do THIS!"

With that declaration, Haruki began slowly to unbutton his shirt while gyrating his hips and rocking his head from side to side. Oh my god. I could feel the blood rushing to my face.

"S-Stop it, you idiot!"

That was the only thing I could think of to say.

“What? You don’t like it?”

“Please, just promise me you won’t do that in public...”

“But that’d defeat the purpose of wearing something like this in the first place!"

"Look, if you do weird stuff like that right out in the open, of course people are gonna look at you funny... hang on, what about Nagato-kun?"

"I could only buy two of them, you know. A full set is pretty expensive."

"Where'd you get this stuff, anyway?"

"Internet."

"... Right."

Haruki picked up the paper bag containing the flyers. "Let's go, Mitsuuru-kun!"

Asahina-senpai, with his arms across his chest, looked to me for salvation. I'm sorry, Asahina-senpai, but I just can't dredge up any resistance... besides, Haruki's stripping nearly killed me.

He tried to resist, clinging onto the table and crying like a little kid, but Asahina-senpai was no match for Haruki's ridiculous strength. He and his cries of despair were swiftly dragged away, and the two Chippendales disappeared from the room. I sank back into my chair with an overwhelming feeling of guilt.

"...There."

Nagato Yuuki was pointing at the ground. Correction: he was pointing at the discarded North High uniforms lying in a scattered heap, and - wait, was that a pair of heart-patterned boxer shorts...?

The thin, be-spectacled boy remained silent as his finger swept from the heap of clothes on the ground to the garment rack on the other side of the room. Couldn't you do it yourself? Sighing, I gathered up all the clothes to put on the rack.

Gah, I could still feel the body heat on them!

About half an hour later, an exhausted Asahina-senpai returned. It looked as though he had been crying. Should I say something? I hurridly offered him my chair, and just like last time, he simply collapsed onto the table, his shoulders trembling like mad. Apparently, he didn't even have the energy to change. In the face of such despair, my maternal instincts kicked in, and I removed my cardigan and draped it around his little shoulders.

The uncontrollably sobbing 'dancer', the unresponsive bookworm, and the bewildered normal high-school girl sat in the room in a record-breaking strained atmosphere. In the distance, above the uncomfortable silence and Asahina-senpai's sobs, I could just make out the yells and cheers of the Baseball Club.

As I was thinking of such insignificant things like what to make for dinner tonight, Haruki returned. Scowling.

"Damn them! Damn those teachers! They always get in the way!"

He was venting, still in the Chippendale outfit. I already had a vague idea of what had happened, but I asked anyway.

"What? Was there a problem?"

"More than a problem! We were only halfway through our fliers when along come some stupid teachers who tell us to "Stop right now!"! What the hell's wrong with them?" he fumed.

Idiot! If the teachers just sat there and ignored two students dressed up as Chippendales handing out flyers at the school entrance, then that would be a paranormal mystery for you to solve!

"Mitsuuru-kun was nearly in tears, and then I got dragged off to see the Principal, and then Handball Queen Okabe showed up!"

I’ll bet the Principal and Okabe-sensei probably didn't know where to put their eyes when looking at you dressed in that outfit.

"Gah, this is so INFURIATING!" Haruki roared. "That's it for today! DISMISSED!!" Haruki tore the cuffs from his hands and threw them to the ground. I managed to get out of the room before he had managed to completely remove his shirt.

"How long are you going to cry like that? Where are your balls now, eh? Hurry up and change!"

I leaned against the corridor wall as I waited for the guys to finish changing. Guess that Haruki really wasn't an exhibitionist or anything, he was just totally clueless to the effect that his half-naked body would have on people. He probably hadn't chosen the Chippendale outfit because it was... sexy... but because it would attract people's attention.

He'd never be able to have a normal, serious relationship, I guess.

I really wish he'd be more concerned about how girls thought about him. At the very least, I wish he'd be concerned about me! All this running around with a crazy person was really tiring. And besides, for Asahina-senpai's sake, I had to wish for such an improvement. Although I had yet to hear Nagato's opinion...

Asahina-senpai eventually emerged from the room, stumbling and staggering, looking for all the world like a student who had just failed his college entrance exams. Not knowing quite what to say, I remained silent.

"Kyon-nee-chan..."

His voice sounded as insubstantial as the whisper of a ghost from a haunted sunken cruise ship.

"You promised to protect me from Suzumiya-san... didn’t you?"

...what could I say...? Wait - why are you calling me Kyon, too!? And adding a "nee-chan" to it? I'm not your sister!

Asahina-senpai returned my cardigan to me in a jerky, robotic kind of manner. Just as I was wondering if he'd fall into my arms and start sobbing, he had already drifted off.

Poor kid… dammit, Haruki!

Don't worry, Asahina-senpai. If it makes you feel better, you can call me nee-chan all you want.

Asahina-senpai didn't come to school the next day.

Haruki was already famous before, but after the Chippendale incident, his eccentricity and weirdness transcended mere notoriety to become the stuff of school legend. Not that I cared, because Haruki's actions were NOT MY FAULT. Not my fault in any way, shape, or form!

What I did care about was the fact that my name, as well as poor Asahina-senpai's name had become somehow linked to his. That, and people were giving me weird looks.

"Damn, Kyon, looks like you're one of Suzumiya's merry friends now, eh?"

It was break. Taniguchi was being irritatingly sympathetic.

"I never expected anybody to get close to Suzumiya-san. Guess anything's possible, right?"

Oh, shut up!

"I was so surprised, though. Seeing male strippers while I was heading home... I thought I was dreaming!"

Kunikida had joined in our conversation, carrying a familiar-looking flier with her.

"So what’s this “SOS Brigade”? What's it all about?"

Ask Haruki. I have no idea. I don't know, and I don't want to know. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to waste words on it, either.

"It asks us to tell you guys of any paranormal events, but it doesn't define what those are. And, what does it mean by not handling 'normal' paranormal events?"

Aggh, stop talking! I don’t want to think about it!

Even Asakura Ryou came to have a word with me. That was when I felt really guilty.

"I see you guys are having fun, but... that incident yesterday was way overboard. You guys went way too far!"

I guess I should've skipped school today, too.

Haruki was still mad. On one hand, he was mad about the teachers stopping him from handing out his fliers; on the other hand, he was pissed off about the fact that the official SOS Brigade E-Mail Inbox was completely empty. I had expected one or two prank e-mails, at least, but it turned out that people were more sensible than I thought. I guess everybody had already realized that getting involved with Suzumiya Haruki could only lead to trouble.

Haruki scowled at the empty inbox, shaking the optical mouse vigorously.

"Why is no one sending us any mail?!"

"It's only been one day" I said, trying to appease him. "Maybe there's all these tales of supernatural happenings out there, but nobody wants to tell a newcomer club like ours?"

I don’t think I was very convincing.

If someone did contact us, it'd probably go something like...

‘Have you experienced any paranormal events?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Oh, that's great, then please tell me.’ ‘All right, actually...’

Oh, please! Like that'd happen.

Listen, Haruki, that kind of crap only happens in comic books or some cheap light novels series- in fiction. Reality, like I've said before, is far more severe and far, far more serious than that. There's no giant conspiracies to destroy the world originating from our little prefectural high school, there's no mutants walking around in our peaceful suburbs, and there's no spaceship half-buried in the side of this hill. That kind of stuff is impossible. You hear me? Not a single one of those could ever possibly happen.

The truth is, underneath all this craziness and weirdness, you understand this, don't you? All this eccentricity is just a way to release the fustrations of youth, right? But you should snap out of it! You should just settle down and find a girlfriend who'll walk with you to school in the morning or to take to the movies on Sunday! Or join a sports club, and knock yourself out. With your ability, they'd snap you up in a flash!

...least, that's what I wanted to say. But I had the feeling I'd only be able to get about the first five lines out before I'd get a fist in the face.

"Did Mitsuuru-kun take the day off today?" Haruki asked.

"He might never come back to school." I muttered darkly. "I hope he wasn’t permanently traumatized by what you did yesterday, poor kid..."

"Awww, man! And I'd just gotten a new costume for him today, too!"

"Can’t you just wear these things by yourself?!”

"What? No, this one wouldn’t fit me at all. I did end up getting your present, though."

Haruki grinned.

Oh no, no no no. God no.

“Oh! Look at the time! I promised to prepare dinner tonight! I gotta go, bye!”

I dashed out of the clubroom to Haruki’s shouts of ‘Hey, wait!’ Damnit, Nagato, can’t you ever say anything at all?

Haruki’s long-awaited ‘Mysterious Transfer Student’ had finally arrived!

Haruki himself told me the ‘great’ news before homeroom the next day.

"It’s awesome, isn’t it? The transfer student's finally here!" Haruki said gleefully, hovering over my desk like a preschooler finally getting the toy he'd always wanted. I had no idea where he'd gotten the info, but apparently a student was transferring into Class 1-9 today.

"This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance! I guess it's unfortunate that they're not in our class, but still - definitely a Mysterious Transfer Student, no doubt about that!"

You've never even met the person, how can you be so sure?

"Didn't I tell you? Studies show that a high percentage of students who transfer to schools in the middle of the school term are Mysterious!"

Where on earth did you get such a statistic? The Internet? Aren’t 75.6% percent of all statistics just made up on the spot? Besides, if everyone who gets transferred in the middle of May is abnormal, then Japan would be practically exploding with Mysterious Transfer Students.

Haruki's train of thought couldn't be stopped by mere logic. At the end of first period, Haruki instantly bolted out of the classroom, probably off to 1-9 to scout out our Mysterious Transfer Student.

Just before the bell rang to signal the next class, Haruki returned, looking slightly perplexed.

"Well? A Mysterious Transfer Student, or an ordinary transfer student?"

"Didn't really seem that Mysterious..." he said, frowning. Well, duh.

"We talked for a bit, but I'm not quite sure yet... they might just be pretending to be a totally normal person though, that's still a possibility. I mean, nobody's going to expose their true identity on the first day, are they? I'll go ask again next break."

Oh, don't. You probably startled the 1-9 students. I could just picture the scene; a normal, bustling classroom, suddenly interrupted by legendary eccentric Suzumiya Haruki, who bursts into the room and grabs the nearest student. "Where's the Mysterious Transfer Student?!" he yells, and the second somebody answers off he charges in the direction indicated. And then he forces his way into the transfer student's conversation and starts interrogating them. "Where are you from? What's your true identity? Are you an alien? Will you marry me?"

A bit like a weird, botched cross-examination, I'd guess.

Aggh, just thinking about it gives me a headache!

I thought of something else, however.

"Guy or girl?"

Haruki paused. "Well... might be a cross-dresser, or in disguise or something, but... looks like a girl, to me."

Well then she's a girl!

Well, it looks like the SOS Brigade would finally have another female member besides myself. Haruki might just kidnap her out the door and force her to join simply because she's a new transfer student. Guess it'd save me from cosplaying as a bunny girl or something equally as horrifying... but what if the student wasn't as weak-willed as Asahina-san and me? Haruki was certainly ridiculously overbearing, but could he truly defeat somebody with stronger willpower? Of course, they'd have to also be strong enough to stop him just grabbing you and running off...

If we got the numbers, than Suzumiya might actually have a tiny chance of getting the "Save the World by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" - well, association - officially recognized. And even if it wasn't, guess who would be stuck doing all the menial tasks and the paperwork? I'd be stuck for the rest of my schooling life with the title "Suzumiya Haruki's Subordinate" and live my days in despair!

I'd never really thought about what I wanted to do after graduation, but I had at least resolved to avoid doing something that would get put on my permanent record. But while I was stuck with Haruki, the chance of getting into some major trouble seemed almost inevitable.

What am I gonna do?

In the end, I couldn't do a thing.

I know that I should just have confronted Haruki, then and there, even though my hands were tied.

I should have just lectured him into living a normal life, into having him disband the SOS Brigade. Persuaded him into forgetting about time-travelers, espers and aliens, to get a nice girlfriend and settle down, or to join a sports club and be satisfied. To spend the next three years content as an ordinary student.

If only I had.

If I had a stronger sense of purpose, or self, or willpower, I wouldn't have been sucked into this black hole of weirdness centred around Suzumiya Haruki. The world would have retained its dignity, and we would have lived out the next three years of our lives as normal high school students, and graduated peacefully, and settled down in the world.

...probably.

The reason I'm saying this now is because I experienced events later that were anything but normal. If you've been observing the flow of the story, you'd have figured that out by now.

Where to begin…?

Well, let's start from the beginning, because that's what the word means. From the moment our latest member, our mysterious transfer student, arrived in the SOS Brigade's Clubroom...

Thanks to the now infamous Chippendale incident, Asahina-senpai, like Haruki, had become a household name within our school. Nonetheless, after that single day off, he bravely reappeared once more in our club room. Was this a result of Haruki's "manliness training?"

Yeah, right.

Anyway, when our activities didn't consist of Haruki's routine blackmail and/or molestation, there wasn't very much to do. So I brought along an old Othello board from home. It had been buried away deep within my house, long forgotten (well, until recently), so I thought that Asahina-senpai and myself could play a few rounds, and chat a little. You know, pass the time.

The website was done, but it was pretty much useless without any visitors. We hadn't even gotten a single e-mail. The PC was only any good for surfing the Internet; if the Computer Club girls ever found out that their top-of-the-line PC was being used for nothing more than net-surfing, I'm sure they'd cry themselves to death.

Seated next to Nagato Yuuki (reading a thick book, as usual), I began my third round of Othello with Asahina-senpai.

"Suzumiya-san sure is taking his time." said Asahina-senpai, softly, as he stared at the board.

Seeing that he hadn't been too badly affected by the events of the day before last, I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe, with some luck, I could keep Haruki from breaking the poor kid any further. I wanted to maintain his innocence forever...

"There's a transfer student coming in today. I bet he went to go look for her." I said casually.

"Transfer student?"

Asahina-senpai raised his head like a little bird. Aww, how cute!

"Haruki was really excited when he heard there was a student transferring into class 1-9 today" I said, placing a white piece on the board and flipping over a few black pieces. "I guess he really likes transfer students."

"Hmm..."

"Anyway... I'm surprised you came today, Asahina-senpai!"

"Um... I did have my doubts," Asahina-senpai said a little uncertainly, "but I was still worried, so I decided to come."

Didn't he say that last time?

"What are you so worried about?" I asked.

Smack! He flipped one of the board pieces with his tiny fingers.

"Uh, um... nothing."

I could feel someone's gaze on me, so I turned to find Nagato staring at the game board. His face was as static as ever, but underneath his glasses, his eyes seemed more intent than I had ever seen them before.

"..."

His gaze was like a newborn kitten amazed at seeing a dog for the first time. I traced his line of vision to my hand, still holding an Othello piece.

"... Nagato-kun, you want to play?"

Nagato blinked, and with the tiniest of movements nodded his head. You wouldn't even have noticed it if you hadn't been playing close attention.

I swapped seats with Nagato, and moved to sit by Asahina-senpai. As I seated myself, Nagato picked up one of the pieces and inspected it carefully. He seemed particularly fascinated by the way the pieces stuck to each other magnetically.

"Um… Nagato-kun, have you ever played Othello before?"

He slowly shook his head.

"Do you know the rules, then?"

Same motion. A negative.

"Well, look. You're the white team, right? So your goal is to surround the black pieces with your white pieces. When they're surrounded, you flip over the black piece and it becomes white. In the end, whoever has the most pieces wins!" I explained quickly.

He nodded his head and proceeded to delicately place the pieces on the board, though I noticed he seemed a little clumsy in flipping the opposing pieces.

Asahina-senpai also seemed to get a little more nervous after Nagato began playing. First his fingers began tremble, just a bit, then I noticed that he didn't dare lift his head to look directly at Nagato. Instead, he'd sneak furtive glances at him while Nagato was concentrating on the game board. I suppose Asahina-senpai couldn't concentrate while he was acting all jumpy, so white quickly took a clear advantage that round.

That’s weird. Why would Asahina-senpai be afraid of Nagato?

It wasn't long before white claimed a decisive victory. Just as the two were about to begin a new round, the perpetrator of all the chaos that had gone before returned to the room with a brand new sacrifice.

"Hey, everyone! Kept ya waiting!" Haruki yelled cheerfully as he dragged in a female student by the hand. "This is the new transfer student in the First Year, Class Nine, and her name is-"

Haruki stopped and gave a "it's your cue" look at the girl, who turned and smiled at us.

"-Koizumi Itsuko, pleased to meet you."

The girl was slim and graceful, with a nice body and a fairly large bust. She seemed like one of those rich, elegant ladies; like those girls who could pose on the cover of a supermodel magazine and end up with tons of fans. If she turned out to have a good personality as well, she'd be even more popular than that.

"This is the SOS Brigade Club Room!" Haruki was saying. "I'm the Commander, Suzumiya Haruki! These are Subordinates One, Two, and Three. That makes you Number Four, so remember to get along well!"

What kind of introduction was that? The only names mentioned were yours and hers! What about me, Nagato, and Asahina-senpai? We're people, not numbers!

"I don't mind joining," Koizumi Itsuko said kindly, clearly not anticipating the danger she was putting herself into. "But what kind of club is this?"

If there were a hundred people in this room, that one question was the one that every single person would have asked. In fact, a whole bunch of people had already asked me that question, but I could never find an answer. Anybody who could answer that question skillfully was probably a talented con-artist, anyway. But Haruki didn't seem concerned at all, a smile spreading broadly across his face.

"Then let me enlighten you to the purpose of the SOS Brigade," Haruki said, still grinning.

He took a deep breath, posed dramatically, and shouted: "To find aliens, time-travelers, and espers, and marry them!"

The world stood still for a second.

Well, not really. The only thing going through my mind was "Just as planned I thought", but the other three didn't seem to share my line of thinking.

Asahina-senpai was completely dumbfounded, his eyes widening as he stared blankly at the cheerful Haruki. Nagato Yuuki was in a similar situation; after turning his head to look at Haruki, he sat completely still like a doll that had run out of batteries. What was really weird though was that his eyes widened, just a fraction. For someone as stoic as Nagato, that was rather surprising.

Our newest member just gave an enigmatic smile. It was hard to tell what that smile meant, though - was she shocked? Was she amused? No clue. She was the first to regain her senses, though.

"Ah, I see."

She looked at Asahina-senpai and Nagato, and nodded as though in comprehension. "As expected from Suzumiya-san."

After that mysterious statement, she continued. "No problem, no problem at all. I'll join up. I look forward to working with you all."

She smiled, showing her bright white, even teeth.

...hang on, did you just accept Haruki's ridiculous explanation, just like that? Were you even listening!? Do you really want to get married so young!?

Noticing a (once again) bewildered me, Koizomi Itsuko suddenly approached and held her hand out. "I'm Koizumi Itsuko, but you can just call me Itsuko" she said, very formally, still smiling. "I just transferred in today, so I've still got a lot to learn. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Uh, likewise." I said, not quite sure how to react. "I'm-"

"She's Kyon!" Haruki interrupted. Damnit, that's not my name! "The four-eyes is Yuuki-san, and the little weakling over there is Mitsuuru-kun!"

Crash!

A loud noise thundered throughout the room. Asahina-senpai had been trying to stand up, but tripped over his chair, and had smacked into the Othello board with a loud thud. "Are you all right?" Itsuko asked, appearing at Asahina-senpai's side before I could even say anything. How had she moved so quickly?

"I, um... I'm fine," Asahina-senpai said, looking gratefully at Itsuko. Grr… looking after Asahina-senpai is my job! Mine!

"Great, now we have five members!" Haruki interrupted, climbing onto a chair and continuing his speech. It's not like you need to do that... You're already taller than anybody else here.

"There’s no way the school can stop us now! So, as of now, the SOS Brigade is open for business! Everybody, let's work together and move forward! Forward, towards our ultimate goal, and the fulfillment of my plans!"

What's that, a mass wedding with aliens?

And what do you mean by “open for business”, Commander Haruki? We still need a sponsor teacher, you know, and I don’t think there’s anyone who’d want to get involved in something like this. Nobody normal, anyway.

As I glanced desperately around the room, I noticed Nagato-san had already returned to his seat and was once again reading his book. Nagato-san, Haruki already counts you as a part of the SOS Brigade! Are you really sure that's ok with you?

Haruki had declared his intention to take Itsuko for a tour of the school and left, dragging her off behind him. Asahina-senpai said that he had a few things to do at home, and departed as well. So it was just me and Nagato left behind in the empty classroom. I didn't particularly feel like playing any more Othello, and it's no fun just watching Nagato read, so I packed up my bag and bid Nagato farewell.

"I guess I'll be going then, Nagato-kun."

"...Have you read the book?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning, I found Nagato Yuuki looking at me with his expressionless eyes.

"What book? ...Oh, you mean that book you lent me the other day."

"...Correct."

"Oh. I haven't read it yet." I said, a little embarrassed. "Maybe I should just give it back to yo-"

"There is no need."

He never minces his words, does he? Just gets straight to the point.

"Read it today, "Nagato said flatly, ”As soon as you get home."

His voice had an overtone of command to it. Besides the required reading for Literature class, I rarely read any novels, but... since Nagato recommends it, it should at least be an interesting read, right?

"Alright, alright, I'll read it when I get home" I said.

Acknowledging me with the tiniest of nods, Nagato returned to his book.

And that's why I was pedaling my bike as hard as I could, alone in the darkness.

I got home after my little conversation with Nagato and went straight to my room after dinner to get a start on the foreign sci-fi novel Nagato-san had lent me. Or shoved into my face. Whatever. Just as I was beginning to drown in the sea of words, I decided to just flip through the book quickly to see if I could ever finish the thing. As I quickly leafed through the pages, a bookmark fluttered out onto the carpet.

It was a strange looking bookmark with a fancy border made out of abstract patterns. When I flipped it over, I found a line of words on the back:

Seven o'clock tonight, waiting for you in the park outside the station.

The words were neat and precise, as though they had been printed out from a word processor. I don’t know for sure, but it certainly looks like the sort of handwriting Nagato would have.

I've had this book for days now. Was this message asking me to meet with Nagato-san at seven o'clock tonight? Or was it meant for the night that he'd given me the book? Could it be that Nagato-san had been waiting in the park every night until I found the bookmark and turned up? That might be why he told me to read it tonight, because he was tired of waiting for me to find the bookmark. But then why wouldn't he just ask me directly? It's not like I'm that scary or unapproachable, is it? And I still didn't know why he would want to call me to the park...

I glanced at my watch; it was just past six forty-five. Even on a bike it'd take around twenty minutes for me to get to the station.

I thought about it for about ten seconds.

Shoving the bookmark in a pocket of my jeans, I dashed out of the room and down the stairs like a rabbit. I ran by my brother coming out of the kitchen with some ice-cream ("Hey, where you going, Kyon-chan?" "Mind your own business!"), unchained my bike, and set off, flipping on the light with my foot.

If Nagato wasn't there, I was going to have to laugh at myself. Very loudly.

Well, I didn't get that luxury.

I tried to remain in brightly-lit places, which meant that I arrived at the small park outside the station at around ten past seven. There weren't many people around at this time of night, which did nothing to soothe my worries. Leaving behind the noises of the trains and of distant cars, I wheeled my bike along and entered the park.

Under the lights of the uniformly-spaced lamp posts, I could just make out a faint silhouette of a person sitting quietly on a bench; Nagato Yuuki, barely visible in the gloom. If I hadn't been looking for him, I probably wouldn't have given him a second glance. He was so still that a passer-by could have mistaken him for a statue.

Nagato rose slowly as I approached, a bit like a string puppet. I noticed he was still wearing his school uniform.

"...Hey, Nagato-kun. Well... um, sorry if I'm late..."

A nod.

"Were you waiting for me yesterday, too?" I asked guiltily.

Another nod.

"Couldn't you have told me whatever it is you wanted to tell me at school?"

"This way."

With those two words, he turned and strode off. He walks like a ninja; you couldn't hear a single footstep. I could only reluctantly follow behind Nagato, who was fading into the darkness the further away from me he got.

"Are you angry with me for making you wait?" I asked, stumbling to keep up with his longer strides.

"No."

I wasn't sure I could believe him, but I couldn't detect any sort of emotion from his voice.

"Uh, excuse me, but - where exactly are we going?"

"My home."

Wait, what?

I froze in my tracks, dropping my bike on the pavement. Why is Nagato bringing me to his house, after calling me out here so suddenly? Was this some sort of bizarre courtship ritual? Was he just asking me out? Aren't there supposed to be, well, preliminaries before this kind of thing?

Nagato sensed my hesitation, and looked back at me questioningly.

"Aren't we going a little too fast?" I said, backing away a bit. "In all sorts of ways, I mean."

"Do not worry. Noone else is home."

That makes me worry even more!

I kept my eyes on Nagato's back, not quite sure why I was still following him. Maybe it's because he didn't seem to be the type to take advantage of girls. And he had ignored most of the stuff that had happened ever since Haruki took over his club room, which meant that anything he felt that was important enough to tell me had to be absolutely incredible.

A few minutes of walking and watching his hair billow gently in the wind later, we found ourselves standing outside a large apartment building fairly near the station.

"Here."

Nagato took out a card and brushed it against the sensor; the glass door slid smoothly open. I hurriedly locked my bicycle by the entrance and quickly followed Nagato, who politely kept the door open for me. I stepped into the elevator after him, running all sorts of scenarios through my mind. Was I making a big mistake? I should have at least brought my cellphone with me, but I had left in a big hurry and forgotten it. It was a bit of a scary thought, that Nagato had me pretty much at his mercy; I could only hope he wouldn't try anything.

Nagato seemed to have something on his mind as well but, as usual, said nothing, merely staring at the floor number as it slowly increased. The elevator finally arrived at the seventh floor and me and Nagato disembarked and walked silently down the corridor to room 708. He unlocked the door and held it open for me.

"Enter."

Are you serious?

I tried to stay calm as I stepped in and took off my shoes, but I jumped a bit when Nagato shut the door behind him.

There was no escape now. I felt like I was trapped on the ship of the Dread Pirate Roberts.

"Come in." Nagato said flatly, removing his shoes as well. If the apartment had been dark I would have had an excuse to make a break for it or lock myself in the bathroom or something, but alas, it was illuminated quite brightly. All that light actually made the room feel even larger... and emptier.

This must be one of those posh condominiums that cost a fortune to rent, especially considering how close it was to the station. Then why did it feel as though nobody lived here?

The living room had only a kotatsu (a small table with a warm blanket) and no other decorations or furniture. There were no curtains on the window, and no carpet over the ten tatami-sized wooden tiles.

"Sit down," Nagato-san said, before disappearing into the kitchen without bothering to see if I obeyed. I knelt down beside the table, wondering if I should just try and leave. Before I could make up my mind, Nagato returned bearing a tray. Moving like a marionette, he set it down on the table without a word, and diffidently seated himself across the table from me.

Silence.

He didn't even pour the tea. He just sat there, looking at me expressionlessly. Maybe he expected me to pour it for us? I reached towards the teapot, but Nagato-san suddenly had it in one hand before I could grab it, as though he had suddenly remembered something. He began to pour some tea into a cup.

"Erm... where's your family?"

"Not here."

"I can see that..." I said, glancing around the room. "Have they gone out?"

"I am the only one who has ever been here."

That was the longest sentence I had ever heard from Nagato.

"Are you... are you living on your own?"

"That is correct."

Woah, a high school student living alone in a high-class apartment? There must be a lot of complicated reasons behind this, and I didn't know whether Nagato wanted me to pry too deeply.

"Well, um, what... what do you want of me?"

Nagato ignored my question and pushed the cup of tea over towards me.

"Drink."

I looked at the teacup apprehensively. Was the tea safe to drink? Well, this was Nagato. He wouldn't put something into the tea to take advantage of me, right? Even though I didn't know him that well, I just felt that he didn't seem like he was that kind of person.

"You dislike tea?"

"Oh, no... it's just that... " My voice trailed off. I sat there uncomfortably under Nagato-san’s gaze. It’s not that I don’t trust Nagato-san... but a guy asking a girl to come to his house so suddenly, when there’s nobody else there? And the first thing he does is offer her some tea without any explanation! It’s too suspicious. It's way too suspicious. But there was no way I was going to say that to his face.

"Look, forget the tea," I said. "Could you please just tell me why you’ve brought me here?"

Nagato paused and returned to his seat, as though he were a rewinding videotape. He looked at me silently, still not opening his mouth. This time, though it felt like he was trying to figure out how to bring the subject up. Was he looking for the right words, or trying to build some sort of inner courage?

"What is it you can't say at school?" I prompted.

He finally moved his thin lips. "It is about Suzumiya Haruki." he said, straightening his back elegantly. "And myself."

He paused for a moment.

What, was that it? I don't understand his speaking style, but he should at least try to establish some sort of context.

"What about Suzumiya and you?"

This was the point where I first perceived any hint of a major emotion on Nagato's stoic face; he looked troubled, or hesitant. But you had to be observing him closely to even notice; his expressive face had only the most subtle difference from his expressionless face.

"It is difficult to convey completely through words. There may be errors in the transmission of data. Regardless, listen to me."

And Nagato began to talk.

"Suzumiya Haruki and I are not ordinary humans."

And already he's weirding me out. So early in the conversation?

"I had kind of noticed that already," I said carefully.

"You misunderstand" Nagato continued, glancing at his hands in his lap. "I do not mean unusual in terms of deviation of universally accepted personality traits. I mean precisely what I said. I mean that he and I are not ordinary human beings like you."

What on earth is he trying to say?

"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity, which oversees this galaxy, has created a Living Humanoid Interface in order to interact with biological entities. That interface is me."

"..."

"My task is to observe Suzumiya Haruki and upload all data obtained to the Integrated Data Sentient Entity."

"..."

"I have performed this function since my birth three years ago. In the last three years, no particularly unusual elements were discovered. The situation was very stable. However, recently an external factor has now appeared nearby Suzumiya Haruki that cannot be ignored."

"..."

"...and that factor... would be you."

What is the Integrated Data Sentient Entity?

In the vast sea of information known as the universe, there exist many sentient entities composed entirely of concepts and data, that possess no corporeal bodies. They began as nothing more than pure data. As that data collected, the resulting entities developed sentience. Eventually, they developed enough sentience to actively seek out and accumulate further data.

Existing only as data, without physical form, they cannot be detected within the optical ranges. As old as the universe itself, they expanded alongside it, and therefore broadened the scope of all available information.

Since the formation of this planet - correction, this solar system - nothing in the universe has been unknown to them. This single planet in an outer spiral arm of the Milky Way holds no particular significance to them, for many planets besides this one hold sentient organic life.

However, this third planet of this solar system gradually evolved bipedal organic life-forms which themselves learnt to seek information. The organic life forms on the planet referred to as "Earth" consequently began to grow in importance.

"It was previously believed that it was impossible for organic life forms, which have limited data collection and transmission capabilities, to be able to evolve to the state where they would actively seek knowledge" Nagato Yuuki said in a serious tone.

"The Integrated Data Entity has therefore taken an interest in all forms of organic life on the planet Earth. It hypothesises that by observation, it may be able to aid data life-forms discover the solution to their own evolutionary dead end."

Unlike the Data Entities, which are complete existences from their genesis, humans begin their existences as incomplete organic life forms, rapidly evolving by acquiring and retaining information both internally and externally. This information is then used to further advance themselves.

The emergence of sentience amongst organic life forms is a common phenomenon. But it is only on Earth that life-forms have evolved to the point where they actively seek out knowledge. The Integrated Data Sentient Entity was intrigued by this, and decided to continually monitor the planet.

"Approximately three earth years ago, a data flare unlike any other appeared on the surface of the planet. An explosion of data erupted from a region on a bow-shaped archipelago, instantly covered the surface of the entire planet, and began to spread into space. And at the center of this data spike was a single individual. Suzumiya Haruki."

"Neither the cause nor the effect are known. The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is unable to fully process the new data being created. Furthermore, while humans are highly limited in the amount of data they can retain, Suzumiya Haruki was able to create a massive data flare on his own."

"Suzumiya Haruki continues to transmit torrents of information at completely random intervals. Furthermore, Suzumiya Haruki himself appears to be unaware of this. Over the past three years, I have conducted various investigations on the individual known as Suzumiya Haruki from all possible perspectives, but his true identity is still an unknown. Regardless, a sector of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity have determined that he is the key to the evolution of all data entities and have commenced analysis accordingly."

"As data life-forms, they are incapable of speech and thus unable to communicate or interact directly with organic life-forms. Humanity lacks the ability to fully communicate ideas without the use of words, and the Integrated Data Sentient Entity lacks the ability to vocalise thought. Hence, Humanoid Interfaces like myself were created in order to act as a communications bridge between data life-forms and organic life-forms."

Nagato delicately lifted his cup and sipped his tea. I guess for him, that was an entire year’s worth of words.

"..."

I didn't have any idea how to respond.

"Suzumiya Haruki may hold the key to auto-evolution. There is a high probability that he also possesses the ability to control data in his surrounding environment. That is why I am here. That is why you are here."

"Hold up." I interrupted, my mind blurred and confused. "I'll be frank. I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please, believe me."

I'd never seen Nagato-san so earnest looking before.

"There is a limited amount of information that can be conveyed through speech. I am merely a terminal, an interface for the Integrated Data Sentient Entity. I am unable to perfectly convey the thoughts of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity to you. Please understand."

Understand? How am I supposed to understand something I can’t understand?! That doesn't help at all!

"Well... Why me?" I asked. "Look, let's say I believe all this garbage about you being an alien created by a weird-thing-entity, but - why are you telling me this?"

"You have been chosen by Suzumiya Haruki. Whether he is aware of it or not, his consciousness influences the world around him. There must be a reason as to why you have been chosen."

"No, there’s no reason!"

"There is. You have been chosen by Suzumiya Haruki." Yuki repeated. "Perhaps for him, you play some pivotal role. You and he hold all of potential within your grasp."

"…Are you serious?"

"Completely."

For the first time, I found myself carefully studying Nagato Yuuki's face. I had initially been marveling that Mr Silence here had decided to speak at all, but then out came this winding, freakish flood of words and nonsense.

I had known he was a little odd, but I would never have guessed that he was absolutely crazy.

Integrated Data Sentient Entity? Living Humanoid Interface?

Give me a break!

"Look." I said, moving to stand. "You should probably tell this directly to Haruki. He'd be delighted. Hell, I bet he'd even propose to you. Me, I'm not interested in this kinda stuff at all. Sorry."

"The majority of the Integrated Data Entity speculates that if Suzumiya Haruki becomes self-aware of his abilities, unforeseen consequences may occur. Therefore, at this stage the situation may only be observed."

"But there's a chance I might tell all of this to Haruki! Why tell me?"

"He will not accept the data you feed him as completely accurate."

"Eh?"

"Clarification: He will not believe you."

...He's got a point.

"I am not the only Humanoid Interface placed on Earth by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity. The majority of the Entity intends to take a proactive role and observe the results. You are the key to Suzumiya Haruki. When crisis approached, I will look to you first."

Sorry, look, Nagato-san - count me out. Please excuse me, thank you for the tea, it was nice.

Nagato didn't move to stop me as I prepared to leave. He merely lowered his head and glanced at his teacup, reverting back to his normal, expressionless mode. It might have been my imagination, but I guessed he looked a little bit...

...lonely.

I slipped my shoes on, leaning against the doorframe. Aliens, huh? Nagato must have been picking up strange ideas from all of those sci-fi books he'd been reading all the time.

I paused, one shoe on. If it was true, though... that meant that the sort of strange being, the paranormal mysteries that Haruki was so obsessed with had been right under his nose the entire time.

...Yeah, right. It was just something about Nagato’s voice, the way he was so matter-of-fact about it. He made it sound so convincing, the way he deadpanned about... what was it? Some sort of 'data entity' that was watching Haruki? That just made me think of some sort of cloud of hovering binary code hanging around.

Weird things like that simply don’t happen. And what was that ‘not the only alien’ stuff? He made it sound as though they were waiting in the bushes, ready to jump out at any hint of weirdness. Yeah, right.

It sure was dark out tonight.

“Hey,” I said. Nagato looked up.

“If you’re going to make me come out at all hours of the night, the least you can do is walk me home.”

If he had been anyone else, he probably would have looked surprised. As it was, he said, in that same monotone he used for everything:

“That is unnecessary. The crime rate in this city is not exce-”

“Humour me,” I interrupted dryly.

In a way that perfectly coincided with the way my life had been going lately, my little brother opened the door for me when I arrived home.

“Oh, it's you. Why were you--”

His eyes widened. “Ooh, I get it! You were out with a boy!”

No, it’s--

His face split into a grin. I’ve never been in favour of older siblings beating up on younger ones, but I think that’s about to change. “I’m telling!” he said delightedly.

I grabbed the back of his shirt as he tried to run off. “Chocolate ice cream!”

He had been taking a deep breath, ready to scream for our father, but that confused him.

“What?”

By the way, through all of this Nagato-san was just standing there like a statue. Thanks for the help. You’re acting like you’re watching paint dry or something.

“From that stand across from the bakery. You pass it every morning on the way to school, you’re always staring at it. I’ll buy you chocolate ice cream every day for a week.”

“Including the weekend?!”

Fine, whatever.

He gave me what I’m sure he thought was an adorable grin. “Deal!”

What a little brat...!

When my dad asked me where I'd been, I gave a vague, non-committal answer and went straight up to my room. Lying on my bed, I mused over Nagato's speech.

If I believed what he had said, that made Nagato not of this world. That is to say, an alien. Wouldn't that be a surpise, though? The very thing we'd - well, Haruki - had been searching for, right under our noses.

My eye fell upon the thick hardback novel that I had thrown on the corner of the bed. I picked it up with the bookmark and had a glimpse at the cover art before placing it by my pillow.

Nagato probably never talks to anyone in his class, imprisoning himself within his own mind. Break out of your little shell! He ought to just put down his book, get out and make some friends, and enjoy a wonderful school life. That poker face has got to go, too. I bet he’d look kinda cool if he'd just smile.

I think I'll return the book to him tomorrow... actually, you know what? Forget it. Since I've already borrowed the book, I might as well try and finish it.

It was the next day after school. I was on classroom cleanup duty, so I arrived later than usual at the clubroom, only to be greeted by the sight of Haruki toying around with Asahina-senpai.

Well, I say 'toying around', but what I really mean is something much, much closer to 'sexual assault.'

"Hold still, damnit! You're a slippery one, aren't you, you little bas- Stop moving!"

"N-NooOo! H-help me!!"

Haruki had nearly stripped a struggling Asahina-senpai of his uniform.

"KyaaAAaAA!!!!"

Asahina-senpai shrieked in embarrassment when he saw me. Truth be told, I was also completely stunned for a moment there, which was the only reason I didn't instantly cover my eyes to protect my sanity. Haruki, on the other hand, just raised his head and directed his mischievous smile at me, while Asahina-senpai, to no avail, tried to escape from Haruki's bear hug.

“You're late, Kyon! Can you help me out here for a bit? This guy may be tiny, but he's still-”

Before he completed his sentence, though, I slammed the door shut, finally having regained my senses.

After waiting outside the door for ten minutes, the duet of Asahina-senpai's pitiful (yet cute...) cries and Haruki's mischievous snickering finally came to an end. A few seconds later, the door flew open, and Haruki's face popped out like some twisted version of a Jack-in-the-box.

"What were you waiting for? Come in and check this out!"

I re-entered the room, but stopped in astonishment. There greeting my eyes was the sight of a beautiful maid. I was just about to ask Haruki where he had managed to find her (Internet?) when I realised who it was.

Ashina-senpai slowly, sadly raised his head to look at me, then looked away with tears in his eyes. A white apron coupled with a wavy skirt, a blouse, and white stockings only served to make him more adorable than ever... silently, I started to envy his legs. It really didn't look at all like it was actually a guy in that costume - in fact, the lacy headband and the large butterfly-knot increased his feminine charm to dangerously high levels.

My gods. Such a perfect maid.

"Well? Doesn't he look super cute in this?" Haruki said, as if praising his own handiwork. He patted a tuft of Asahina-senpai's hair into place.

I had to agree. No offense to poor Asahina-senpai, but he really does look really, really cute in that - even though I know that he's a guy. Well, biologically, anyway... I'm not really sure how he's doing on the inside anymore, not after what Haruki's putting him through. That begs a question...

"This costume's great, isn't it?" Haruki demanded, interrupting my train of thought.

"No, it isn't!" Asahina-senpai protested quietly, but I ignored him for the moment and turned to Haruki. "Why are you dressing him up as a maid?" I asked.

"Because maid costumes are sexy!"

I don't think that's a real answer to my question.

"It took me a long time to think this up, you know?"

Even if you didn't think at all, it wouldn't make much of a difference, you know. I sighed. “Look, you were the one who said we were going to make Asahina-senpai manlier. Exactly HOW does doing this accomplish that?”

"Listen up, Kyon. It's entirely obvious to anybody who sees this guy that he lacks any sort of manly spirit. This is completely unacceptable! All men have the potential to become a Man amongst men! The only thing he needs is a bit of training for the soul. Something to turn him from this..."

Haruki waved one arm wildly in Asahina-senpai's direction.

“...into THIS!”

With his other hand, he turned the computer's monitor around so that I could see what exactly it was displaying. It was showing the front page of some online magazine, featuring an extremely strong-looking guy with a half-opened shirt, with a hairdo vaguely resembling Asahina-senpai's. What the hell, Haruki. I'll have to ask you for the website address later... wait, what am I thinking about?

"On the other hand," continued Haruki, leaning forward onto the monitor, "if he doesn't, he'll be abused until the end of time by crazies like those Computer Club girls, toyed around with by his friends, bullied by underclassmen and who knows what else? It's all for his own good!"

Do you realize that your current actions fit perfectly into all three of those catagories? And why do I get the feeling you don't give a damn about Asahina-senpai, but you're just doing this for your own twisted sense of enjoyment?

As I was trying to work out how to respond, Haruki slipped the digital camera from before into one hand and started taking souvenir shots.

Asahina-senpai blushed bright red and shrank even further into his chair, shaking his head violently. "P... please stop that!"

You're wasting your time, Asahina-senpai. Haruki will do whatever he wants regardless of what anybody ever says. Just close your eyes and endure it. It's just pictures at the moment, anyway...

Man. Now he was getting Asahina-senpai to pose for him for his makeshift photo session. He's worse than I thought.

"...uwah..."

"Now look over here, Mitsurru-kun! Lower your chin a bit! Lift up your apron! Yes, that's a good boy!" Haruki cried, snapping wildly behind the camera and dodging to take pictures from different angles. "Smile a bit more, go on, you can do it!"

Got a maid fetish, Haruki?

Haruki yelled out ceaseless orders in his rapid-fire way with every 'click' of the camera shutter. Hmmm, isn't that the digital camera he'd had us do the blackmailing of the computer club with? If I were to ask him where he'd gotten it from originally, he'd probably say something about 'tribute'. In others words, he'd stolen it.

And amidst Haruki's mad, photo-shooting frenzy, Nagato Yuuki sat quietly in his seat reading like usual. Despite our weird and freakish conversation yesterday, he was as unruffled as always. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I just hoped he didn't go psycho and try and stab me or something.

"Kyon! It's your turn to shoot."

Haruki handed the camera to me and turned towards Asahina-senpai. Then, like an eagle searching for prey, he let his gaze wander over Asahina-senpai's body, until he finally nodded briefly, putting two hands on Asahina-senpai's shoulders.

"Ah...?!"

Haruki gave Asahina-senpai his trademark cheshire grin.

"Mitsuuru-kun, until you've become manly enough, you're going to have to look as cute as possible, forever! Got it?!”

Haruki suddenly pounced, ripping loose Asahina-senpai's ribbon and quickly unbuttoning three buttons on the front of his blouse. You could see quick glimpses of Asahina-senpai's smooth, hairless chest - he looked even more like a really flat-chested girl right now.

"W-wait! No! W-what are you doing?!"

"Don't worry, don't worry!" Haruki said, stepping back to see how Asahina-senpai looked from different angles. "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Of course it matters, Commander Haruki!

In the end, Asahina-senpai was more-or-less forced to place both hands on his chest and lean forwards. Faced with the image of this poor, innocent boy turned flat-chested maid, I just wanted to turn my head away, clinch my eyes together, and try and forget that I had ever seen the whole thing. But there was no way I would have been able to take any pictures that way, and Haruki would've gotten mad at me, and what would he have done then? Faced with that disturbing prospect, I turned my eyes back towards the camera screen and clicked the button when Haruki ordered.

Poor Asahina-senpai was forced to pose in increasingly cute and embarrassing positions as his face got redder and redder. But even as he was obviously about to burst into tears, he tried his clumsiest best to smile, emphasizing his ridiculously girlish charm. He was so very, very, cute.

The sad thing though is that he's more feminine like that than I am.

"Oi! Yuuki-kun! give me your glasses!"

Nagato Yuuki slowly lifted his head, but not fast enough for Haruki, who snatched them right off his nose with not as much as a “thanks”. Can you even read without glasses, Nagato?

Haruki held the glasses up in the air, span around quickly, and placed them on Asahina-senpai's face.

"The glasses would look better if they're slightly tilted. There we go... that's perfect! Kyon, take more pictures of the four-eyed, innocent maid boy!"

Look, putting aside whether or not I'm going to take more photos, just what is it that you intend to do with the photos of Asahina-senpai in a maid costume anyway?

"Mitsuuru-kun, from now on you are to wear this costume every single time you come for club activities!" Haruki declared.

"Eeh!? W-what? No! No! That's no- that's not-"

Asahina-senpai tried his best to express his refusal, waving his hands frantically at Haruki, but he simply reached out and trapped Asahina-senpai in a bear hug, letting his hands wander freely. "Why the hell do you look so cute in this, eh, Mitsuruu-kun? If you were a girl, I tell you, I'd... well, actually, with you like this, it doesn't really matter, does it?"

Oh god.

Asahina-senpai screamed and tried to escape, but to no avail, as Haruki's hands wandered further down once more. Why is it that I want to be in Asahina-senpai's position right now? Or even Haruki's?

Hang on a second, what the hell is wrong with me?!

"Hey, cut it out, you idiot!!"

I tried my best to drag Haruki away from his sexual harassment of Asahina-senpai, but he was too big and strong for me to handle. "That's enough, you moron! Stop it already!"

"Does it really matter?" Haruki said, one hand attempting to push me away slightly while the other restrained the struggling Asahina-senpai. "Why don't you join in as well?

"What?!"

I was endeavoring to pull Asahina-senpai out of Haruki's grip, but my mind suddenly jumped in a completely unwanted direction. Damn you, Haruki! Damn you, maid outfit!

"Oh, I say. What's going on in here?"

I managed to turn my head, to find Koizumi Itsuko standing at the entrance with her bag, a half-smile playing around on her face.

She looked amusedly first at Haruki, one hand trying to push me away and the other fondling Asahina-senpai's butt, then at me, attempting to stop Haruki's madness; then to Asahina-senpai, cowering in a maid costume and trembling non-stop, and then finally to Nagato, who was peacefully reading his book unfazed by this nonsense and the loss of his glasses.

"Is this... some sort of club activity?" she smiled.

"Koizumi-san, you came at just the right time!" Haruki shouted, instantly releasing Asahina-senpai (who collapsed to the floor, paralyzed again) and leaping to Itsuko's side. "I have a job for you!"

A job? What's this, all of a sudden?

Haruki leant down and whispered into Itsuko's ear. She smiled, and turned around to lock the door.

That's never a good sign, no matter who does the locking.

“Hey, Kyon!”

Haruki was grinning again.

“I finally got around to getting you that present I promised you!”

Oh no.

My doom has finally arrived.

There was a paper bag standing behind the door earlier that I hadn't noticed. As I wondered whether to just make a break for it, Haruki grabbed the bag and pulled out a pair of bunny ears.

I instantly knew what would be in the rest of that bag.

“...Bun... ny... girl...?” I asked, with trepidation.

Haruki's grin widened.

“Bun-ny girl.”

He reached towards me.

“Now, if you'll just--”

I slapped his hand away from me and backed away. That's it! The time had come for truly drastic measures! If you touch me, I'll scream rape! I swear it, Haruki!

"Hey, now, that's not the way to behave towards your Supremely Manly Commander!" said Haruki, looking more annoyed than anything else. "I decreed that you will wear the bunny suit, and so do I swear it, you will wear the bunny suit! And that decree is final!"

I couldn't take much more of that idiot's blabber, and threw a punch at his head; he blocked it easily, and shoved me roughly backwards into the grasp of... Itsuko?

Asahina-senpai was still lying trembling on the floor. Haruki grabbed the glasses from his face and walked over to Nagato, placing them directly back onto his nose. Nagato didn't move an inch. Had he been just joking around with me yesterday? I couldn't tell, but sometimes Nagato really didn't seem human...

While I struggled against Itsuko's grip, Haruki simply hoisted Asahina-senpai over one shoulder, grabbed the collar of Nagato's blazer in the other hand, and bid us two girls farewell. "I'll leave the bunny suit in here, kay? Give us a call when you're finished, Koizumi-san. Have fun, Kyon!"

He grinned widely again. I swear, if I ever get the chance, I'm going to shove that idiot's head right into a wheat thresher...

Sigh. I looked up at my captor.

"Hi!" Itsuko smiled warmly at me. "We didn't get the chance to talk too much yesterday, but I hope we can learn to be the best of friends!"

Beneath her smiling face, her hands were already busy undoing the ribbon on my uniform.

I'm going to simply gloss over most of this, but let's just say I was forced to be a bunny girl for yet another of Haruki's crazed photo shoots. I guess it wasn't all that bad, though, considering - I thought I looked pretty nice in those shots, and at least Haruki's hand wasn't on the camera - but I was still deeply disturbed about what he might be using those pictures for.

...and I'm curious about how he knew my exact measurements. Those are supposed to be a secret, damnit!

Urgh... I guess this I'll take this as divine punishment for not saving Asahina-senpai when I had the chance.

Later, when I was back in my school uniform and the nightmarish photo session was finally over...

"Right! I call to order the first official meeting of the SOS Brigade!" shouted Haruki, who was standing on the commander's chair again. Please, stop startling everybody by suddenly shouting at us without warning! And you don't need even more extra height!

"We've already done a lot of work! Thanks to our distribution of informative materials and the establishment of the official SOS Brigade Webpage, our reputation in the school has already soared sky-high and pierced the heavens! Therefore, I hereby declare phase one of my plan... to be a great success!"

This is your stupid plan?! Scarring Asahina-senpai forever and forcing me to become a bunny girl is your brilliant plan!?

"But our inbox has yet to receive a single email about any mysterious events! And nobody's come forwards to discuss their concerns with us about their experiences!"

Uh, Haruki, reputation alone won't help us at all. Besides, we don't have reputation. We have notoriety. Nobody would want to get involved with us, ever. And the school doesn't even recognize the existence of this club anyway!

"There used to be a saying that 'patience is a virtue'," Haruki continued loudly, glaring ferociously at all of us with a zeal that was bordering on the terrifying, "but since then, times have changed. Even if we have to reverse the direction the world spins, even if we have to drill through the clouds instead of the ground, we will seek them out! We will find what we seek by ourselves! So, everybody! Let's begin searching!"

"...What exactly are we looking for?"

Nobody else had said anything, so I decided to ask myself. I do hope it's a wheat thresher. I could totally use a wheat thresher right about now.

"To find all the mysterious events of this world!”

And marry them?

“As long as we try hard, we should be able to find at least one or two events in this town!"

Oh, Haruki, I already found one mystery! The way in which you think!

I displayed my reluctance plainly. Itsuko only smiled engimatically. Nagato remained expressionless as always, while Asahina-senpai seemed resigned to his fate, too exhausted to protest. He looks how I feel.

Ignoring everyone's reactions, Haruki waved his arms and yelled:

"This Saturday, tomorrow! We'll meet outside the North Station before nine in the morning! Don't be late! Absentees will be... punished!!"

I don't believe there is a worse punishment than being forced to dress as a bunny girl (or a maid, for that matter) for half an hour, but hey, I've been wrong before.

So, what did Haruki intend to do with all those photos of Asahina-senpai and me?

That idiot wanted to upload them all onto the webpage to attract more internet traffic!

When I found out what he wanted to do, he had just finished uploading them all onto the main page. He was even typing in the personal details. I noticed he had labeled Asahina-senpai's photos as 'female'.

I'm going to kill him.

I managed to get the idiot to stop this foolish nonsense and take down all the pictures from the website. I didn't want everybody in the world seeing my barely-clothed body, and if Asahina-senpai learnt that images of him posing seductively in a maid costume had been spread all over the internet, he'd probably faint on the spot.

I quickly warned him about the dangers of putting personal details on the 'net, while desperately attempting to control my temper and, amazingly, for once, Haruki actually paid attention and listened to me seriously. Although, as if to spite me, he eventually muttered grumpily:

"I knew that already!"

But then he reluctantly stood up and let me remove the images from the page.

I know I should have been deleting all of Asahina-senpai's photos, but... he really did look really cute in that picture. And even though I'm extremely embarrassed about the whole bunny-suit thing, they are really well taken (Itsuko's pretty good with a camera, I guess) and they're definitely flattering to me. I figured I'd probably want the photos to look back on in thirty years. So instead of deleting them, I secretly saved them to a hidden folder buried deep in the directory and password-protected it.

Was that a bad idea?

Oh well. Only I know where those photos are, anyway!

What kind of joke is this, asking us to meet at nine in the morning on a weekend?!? Well, whatever kind of joke it is, I guess it's on me, because I'm actually listening to those instructions and pedaling like mad to get to the station.

Kitaguchi Station is right at the center of town, because it's an important railway hub. Every weekend the square in front of the station is packed with teenagers and young-adults window-shopping - other than catching the train to the city there's not much to do in this town besides hang out at the mall near the station. I wonder what kind of entertainment people in this town find for themselves, with so little to do around here?

I carelessly discarded my bicycle somewhere near the bank and ran to the turnstiles at the North Entrance. It was still five minutes to nine, but it looked like everybody else had already arrived.

Haruki pointed imperiously at me.

"You're late! Penalty!"

"It's not... even nine yet..." I panted. Haruki gave me an annoyed look.

"Bah! The last person to arrive is late, and latecomers have to be punished! That is the rule!"

Well, what if it was just you and me, Haruki? Would I still count as a latecomer? I sighed. "Why have I never heard of that rule before?"

"Oh, that. I just made it up now!"

Do you even listen to what you're saying!?

"So, your penalty! You're going to have to treat all of us to drinks!"

"Um, I can pay for-"

Asahina-senpai attempted to cut in, but was quickly overruled. "No ducking out!" Haruki declared, lifting one arm and pointing dramatically at me. Haruki, you're the lowest of the low. Are you seriously asking a girl to pay for your little outing?

Despite his harsh words, Haruki was visibly excited about the SOS Brigade's first out-of-school gathering. He was dressed in a loose white shirt and brown jacket with jeans, and he looked like a typical trendy teenager out for a good time. I pitied any girl who tried to flirt with him today based on that deceptive appearance.

Asahina-senpai was wearing a light pink shirt with a silver necktie and dress pants, looking a bit formal for the occasion. He gave me an apologetic smile as Haruki led the way into a nearby cafe.

Walking along beside me, Itsuko was wearing a white sleeveless top plus a denim shirt and short skirt. Not only did she have the figure to pull it off, she was also taller than me. Even her handbag was stylish and fashionable. It was irritating, but I had to admit that she looked pretty beautiful.

Nagato was walking by himself at the back of the group, as usual. Technically he's part of the Literature club, but I guess he considers himself to be a full-time SOS Brigade underling. I remembered all the weirdness he had spouted the other night, but to look at him you'd never have known that he would even be capable of imagining such nonsense. But why was he still wearing his school uniform, even on the weekend?

As we - the Mystery Five - entered the cafe by the roundabout and sat down in our chairs, the waiter sidled over and began to take down our orders. Haruki added lots of unnecessary extras to his order ("With a lemon! And ice cubes! and-") while Asahina-senpai picked the cheapest drink on the menu ("...water, please"). Nagato picked up the menu and studied it for some time with a serious look on his face, as if his choice of drinks were a matter of life and death.

"...Almond Tea," he said finally, placing the menu neatly back on the table.

It really doesn't matter what you order, since Haruki's forcing me to pay.

Anyway, Haruki gave the following commands:

We were to split into two parties. If any of us found anything mysterious, we were to contact each other by cellphone and meet up to discuss what to do next. Once it was all over, a debriefing would be held to review and prepare for future developments.

That was all.

"Draw lots!"

Haruki grabbed five toothpicks from the toothpick stand, and marked two of them using a pen he'd borrowed from the waiter. He wrapped his hand around them, concealing the 'marked' ends, and thrust his fist out at us to draw.

Please, God, don't let me end up with Haruki....

In the end, I drew a marked one, and so did Asahina-senpai. He glanced at my toothpick, and then began to blush.

Haruki's eyes were full of cold fire.

"Mitsuuru-kun!" he snapped. "This is not a date! This is serious work, understand!?"

"Y-yes!"

Don't roll over in submission so easily, Asahina-senpai! Stand up to him a bit! Still, I'm relieved. Asahina-senpai is the only one I feel safe walking around with.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Itsuko asked politely, while Nagato slowly drank his tea.

Haruki looked pleased that someone had asked that question. "Anything that looks suspicious! Anybody or anything that looks unusual! Look for portals that seem like they lead into different dimensions, or people who look like aliens disguised as humans!"

I nearly choked on my mint tea. Strangely, Asahina-senpai had nearly the same expression on his face. Nagato, as always, was completely impassive.

"I see, I see.." Itsuko said slowly.

What do you see?

"So then, all we have to do is look for aliens, time-travelers, and espers, and any traces they may have left behind on Earth. I understand entirely." Itsuko said cheerfully.

"Precisely! Koizumi-san has it exactly correct! Everyone would do well to learn from her!" Haruki declared, smiling widely. Don't suck up to Haruki so blatantly, Itsuko! Annoyed, I glared at her, but she simply smiled enigmatically at me.

"Alrighty then! Let's roll out!"

Standing abruptly, Haruki shoved the bill towards me and strode proudly out of the café.

Sighing, I reached for my purse, but Itsuko stopped me. "I'll take care of it," she said, winking at me.

"Ah... thank you. I'll pay you back later."

"Don't worry about it," she said, holding a finger to her smiling lips. "Just don't tell Suzumiya-san about this, and we'll call it settled."

Now that was odd. Maybe this is her way of apologizing to me for yesterday?

...Well, I say it a lot. But with good reason. I'll say it again.

“...Yare yare.”

Haruki threatened Asahina-senpai in graphic detail about what would happen if the search for extra-terrestrial life somehow turned into anything vaguely approaching 'romantic.' He needn't have bothered going that far; Asahina-senpai was shaking in fear after the first few sentences.

Haruki headed off east with Nagato and Itsuko, throwing a few suspicious glances back at us as they departed. Me and Asahina-senpai were supposed to go west. I still didn't know what is it we're supposed to look for.

"What should we do?"

Asahina-senpai looked at me nervously.

My first choice would have been to simply go home, but that was impossible - we were supposed to meet back here for lunch, so there was no way Haruki wouldn't notice. I pretended to think for a bit before I told him "It's pointless to stand around here doing nothing, so let's just take a bit of a walk."

"Okay." Asahina-senpai and smiled.

I tried to imagine what we must look like to passers-by as we strolled down a path by the riverbank. Asahina-senpai wasn't really that tall, so we probably matched each other well. Then again, maybe people would think that I was his older sister. Well, if I were to have Asahina-senpai as my little brother, I wouldn't complain; he was probably a lot less annoying than my actual little brother.

If we had come down here about a month ago, we would have been able to see the cherry blossoms blooming, but alas, it was now just a plain riverside walk. Still, it was a popular spot for couples and families, so the place was a little crowded. But me and Asahina-senpai were probably the only people out here on this nice Spring day looking for aliens by the river.

"Oh, there's an ice-cream stand over there!" Asahina-senpai suddenly remarked. He turned to me and blushed a bit. "W-would you like some?"

"Oh, yes please!"

Asahina-senpai paid for the ice-cream, and we walked off licking it as quickly as we could before it melted. "Mmmmm..."

He looked so happy. I guess he really liked sweet things.

"Asahina-senpai... there's a bit of ice-cream on your nose..."

"Oh!" He wiped it off, embarrassed.

He's just like a little kid! But I guess that's what makes him so cute.

We continued walking. I noticed that he kept glancing at me and then looking away rapidly.

“Senpai…?”

“U-um.” He stuttered, and turned away again. “I guess t-this is the first time… I’ve ever walked like this…”

"What do you mean?"

"Together… with a girl. All alone.”

Oh crap, I'm blushing.

He must have noticed, as Asahina-senpai began to panic. "Ahh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way!" he babbled, looking extremely flustered. "I'm not suppose to involve myself in a relationship with anyone... my parents say I'm too young to date..."

His behaviour was just too cute.

"It's fine..." I said. "Let's just continue our walk."

It might be time to steer our conversation into less dangerous waters. “Heh, you know, it’s kinda funny, this ‘searching for aliens’ thing," I said carefully.

“Hmm? Why?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, really.” I said nonchalantly. “It’s just that, Nagato told me something weird a couple days ago. He said he was an alien. So it'd be kinda funny if--”

Asahina-senpai stopped short and went totally quiet.

“It... were... true?"

I faltered.

"Asahina... senpai?"

He gulped a few times, and stared at me in total shock.

"Kyon-nee-chan..." he said softly, just staring at me for a second. Then something like determination flashed in his eyes. Bracing himself, he looked directly into my eyes and said, "...I t-think I have something to t-tell you."

He led me to a bench by the sakura trees and we sat down, but for a long time Asahina-senpai didn't speak. He still looked like he was composing himself for something momentous. I could just make out his voice, muttering to himself. "Where s-should I begin? I'm no good at explaining things... m-maybe she just w-won't believe me..."

Finally he lifted his head and began to talk in a slightly uncomfortable tone. "I'm... not from this time, not from this age." he said, not quite looking directly at me. "I'm a time traveler. From the future. I can't tell you when I arrived from, or from which temporal plane. I wouldn't be able to, anyway, even if I wanted to."

I sat there quietly, listening to him talk. He apparently took this as a sign of encouragement and continued bravely on. "Look - telling anybody from the past about future events is strictly forbidden - before I returned to this time, I had to undergo mental conditioning. If I ever intend to say something that should not be revealed, I'll just run into a mental blank."

Asahina-senpai took a deep breath and continued, "People assume that time is a strict progression from cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, each time frame is made up of different two-dimensional flat planes."

"...you lost me at 'strict progression'" I said.

"Hmmm..." Asahina-senpai looked at me thoughtfully. His stutter seemed to have disappeared, for now. "How 'bout this? Try to imagine it like a cartoon. When we're watching a cartoon, you see the characters within move seamlessly. But you know that's just an illusion created from a series of still images. So time's a bit like that, a digitalized version. If I used a series of still images like that as a description, perhaps it'll help you to understand."

"So between every single time frame and another there are these things called 'temporal fault lines'. They exist, but the frequency of these fault lines is near zero, so there's no continuity between different time frames. Time traveling is the attempt to make a three-dimensional movement between the two-dimensional temporal planes. So for me, because I've arrived from the future into this temporal plane, it's like adding an extra object onto the still images of an animation."

"Even if I were to attempt to change the future," he continued seriously, "nothing would happen in the future that I came from, because of the lack of continuity between time planes. Everything would only change in this temporal frame. So it's like trying to add a few words onto a still image from the hundreds of still images needed for an animation - the overall story doesn't change, right?"

"Time is unlike this river here; it's not analogue, linear progressive events; it's a series of digitalized temporal planes. Do you follow me?"

I hesitated on whether to clamp one hand to my forehead; eventually, I did. Temporal planes? Digitalization? I had no ideas what those terms meant, but... a time traveler?

Asahina-senpai glanced down at his shoes, took another breath, and continued. "Let me explain why I've come to this temporal plane..."

A couple with a young child passed us as Asahina-senpai began to explain. "Three years ago, we detected the occurrence of a huge time quake. It was... around three years ago before today, just as Suzumiya-san entered junior high. But when we attempted to travel back to investigate, we ran into some sort of source wall. We were unable to travel back any further into the past than three years ago."

Why is it three years ago again?

"We came to the conclusion that a massive temporal fault-line had been created, but we had no idea why it only appeared at that specific time-frame. It's only recently that we discovered the reason... recently relative to me, I mean. Sorry-"

"What caused this 'time quake'?" I interrupted. It couldn't be...

"We hypothesize that... that it was Suzumiya Haruki."

God-damnit. The exact words I didn't want to hear.

"He's located right at the nexus of the time-quake. Please don't ask why; the knowledge is forbidden, I can't tell you. But we're certain that it is Suzumiya-san who has blocked access to the past from that point onwards."

"...I don't think Haruki is even capable of doing that." I said, still staring at Asahina-senpai. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Neither did I." he said, not meeting my gaze. "Honestly, it's supposed to be impossible for a normal human to interfere with the temporal planes. It's still an unsolved mystery, and Suzumiya-san himself seems unaware that he is the source of temporal distortions and the time quake... I've been sent here to Suzumiya-san's side so I can better observe the changes to the temporal planes in his presence. Um... I think the best word for it that you currently have is 'surveillance'. Um, yes... I'm on surveillance duty. It's also why I'm prohibited from involving myself with anyone. It's too risky."

"..."

I was too speechless to respond.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"No, no I don’t." I said, placing my hand on my head again. "Why are you telling me all of this this?"

"Because you have been chosen by Suzumiya-san."

Asahina turned to face me. Damnit, Nagato said exactly the same thing the other day.

"I can't go into the details. But, if I've guessed correctly, you're a very important person to Suzumiya-san. There's a reason behind everything that he does."

Yeah, his so-called master plan or whatever...

"Then Nagato-kun and Itsuko are...?" I prompted.

"They are similar to me, but Suzumiya-san is still unaware that he is the one who has gathered us to his side."

"Then do you know what they are?"

"Classified information."

"What would happen if we just leave Haruki alone?"

"Classified information."

"Since you're from the future, you should know what happens next, right?"

"Classified information."

"What if I told Haruki all of this?!"

"Classified information."

He paused.

"I'm sorry, I really can't tell you. Especially right now, when I don't have the authority to do so."

Asahina-senpai looked really apologetic. "It doesn't matter even if you don't believe me; I'd just like to let you know about this."

I remembered hearing almost the same things being said inside a certain dull, quiet apartment.

"I'm sorry."

Seeing me so silent, Asahina-senpai's eyes looked like they were on the verge of tears. "I'm s-sorry, for suddenly t-telling you all of this-"

"It's… okay. Really.”

First there's Nagato, telling me he's a Living Humanoid Interface created by aliens. Now Asahina-senpai is claiming that he's a time-traveling spy, sent from the future. How am I supposed to believe this? Somebody, help me!

We stared silently at the river.

Time passed us by.

"Asahina-senpai?"

"Yeah...?"

"Can I just pretend this conversation never happened?" I said, leaning back and sighing. "Whether I believe you or not, let's just put this aside for now, okay?"

"Okay!"

Asahina-senpai smiled, his face lighting up immediately. "I guess this is the best solution, the way things are going at the moment. Please, just treat me as you've always done, Kyon-nee-chan!"

He bowed deeply to me. Hey, hey, that's a bit too formal, don't you think? I guess I should say something to lighten the mood.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"What is it?" Asahina-senpai asked, ducking his head down like a little bird and looking at me curiously.

"I know you're not allowed to be involved with anyone, but... do you have anyone you like?"

I wasn’t expecting any response, but…

"Classified information!"

Asahina smiled at me again, and winked.

...

So cute!

So after that, we took a simple stroll around the streets. Despite Haruki's threats and warnings about not going on a date, I figured that simply walking around with Asahina-senpai probably wouldn't incur his wrath. We went window shopping at the fashion stores in the mall, took a peek at the souvenir stalls by the street side... you know, just random stuff to kill time.

Eventually, my cell phone rang. It was Haruki.

"Hey Kyon! We're meeting at noon, at the same place where we met this morning, remember! Don't be late!"

He hung up before I had a chance to reply. I glanced at my watch - it was already eleven fifty. Damnit, there's no way we were going to make it!

"Was that Suzumiya-san? What'd he say?" Asahina-senpai asked, looking worried.

"He 'reminded me' that we need to get back to the station by noon, so we need to hurry!" I said, grabbing his hand. I knew there was no chance to get their by noon unless we ran, so we took off, sprinting as hard as we could. What reaction would Haruki have if he saw us running up hand-in-hand? He'd probably dress Asahina-senpai up in my bunny suit or something equally as horrible.

Better not let that happen, then!

"Results?" Haruki demanded, as we arrived, panting. We were ten minutes late, and that was the first thing Haruki said when he saw us. He seemed rather pissed off.

"You didn’t find anything?"

"Nope."

"You probably didn’t even look, did you?" he said, getting worked up. "I bet you just walked around aimlessly. What did I tell you, Mitsuuru-kun?!"

Asahina-senpai trembled with utter terror. I’ve got to get Haruki to stop this, now!

"So what did you guys find, then?" I asked, defensively. Upon hearing me, Haruki went silent. Itsuko, standing behind him, played idly with a strand of loose hair, while Nagato, of course, stood motionlessly.

After a few moments of no one saying anything, Haruki growled, "Let's just have lunch first then. We'll continue after that."

What? You still want to continue!?

We had our lunch in a burger shop. Haruki ordered the biggest burger they had for sale, and devoured it and the fries that came with it in about thirty seconds flat. I guess a big guy needs all those calories to fuel his system. He's so fast in every respect...

Haruki said it was time to draw lots again, and drew out some extra toothpicks he'd stolen from the café earlier this morning. He’s well prepared for stuff that he likes, I guess.

“Didn’t I tell you? All part of the plan.”

Koizumi swiftly picked a toothpick. "Unmarked again" she said, gracing us with her elegant smile. Geez, her teeth are white! Guess that’s why she’s always smiling.

"Mine is too."

Asahina-senpai showed me the toothpick he had just drawn.

"And Kyon-nee-chan?”

"Nope, sorry." I said, leaning back. "Mine’s marked."

Haruki's scowled at me and rushed Nagato into drawing a toothpick. I didn't think it was possible for him to be in a fouler mood than he already was, but...

Please not Haruki, please not Haruki, please not Haruki…

In the end, my wish was granted. Nagato drew the marked toothpick and so was grouped with me. Haruki silently glared at the unmarked toothpick as if staring at his mother's murderer, then turned towards me and Nagato (who was rapidly, but neatly, devouring his cheeseburger) and scowled.

Why the heck are you so mad today, Haruki?

"We'll meet in front of the station by four. Find something by then, or else!"

After that fierce statement, he grabbed my Coke, drained it one gulp, and stalked angrily out of the restaurant.

Hey! I was going to drink that!

This time we went south and north, with me and Nagato charged with the duty of investigating the south side. Before we parted, Asahina-senpai waved me goodbye. Good luck, Asahina-senapi! Don't let Haruki and Itsuko force you into strange costumes again!

So it was just me and Nagato standing idly in front of the busy station. "What do you want to do?" I asked, looking up at Nagato.

Nagato said nothing.

"...Let's go."

I strode forward and found that Nagato would begin to follow. Looked like I was starting to get used to hanging around him.

"Nagato-kun, about the stuff you told me the other day..."

"Yes?"

"I'm starting to believe it a little."

"Is that true...?"

"Yeah."

"..."

So under this empty atmosphere we silently walked around the station. I tried to make small talk with Nagato, but…

"Don't you have any casual clothing?"

"..."

"Well, what do you do on holidays?"

"..."

"Are you happy now?"

"..."

And that's how our conversation went for that day.

There wasn't much point just walking around aimlessly, so I suggested to Nagato that we go to the new library by the seaside that had been built around the same time the council developed the land for the station. I'd never been inside before, really, because I rarely borrowed any books. I just thought maybe I could get some rest. But when we got inside, I discovered that every single seat was occupied. I guess these people don't have anywhere else to go in their free time, huh?

I glanced around the library, looking a bit lost, while Nagato had already drifted towards the bookshelves as though in a trance. I guess this must be his personal nirvana.

I used to read often. When I was back in elementary school, my dad used to borrow illustrated books from the children's section for me to read. There were all sorts of books, but I did remember that the ones that I'd read were all quite interesting. But I couldn't remember the names of any of those books anymore. When was it that I stopped reading?

When did reading become boring for me?

I randomly picked up a book from the shelf and flipped through a few pages, before putting it back and picking up another book. It would take me forever to find an interesting book in this ocean of literature, if I didn't do any research first. With those kind of thoughts hanging over my head, I wandered aimlessly between the bookshelves.

As I headed to look for Nagato, I found him sitting cross-legged in front of a shelf full of thick hardcover books, reading one large tome particularly intently. I guess these are your favorites, Nagato?

Eventually, a woman reading a fashion magazine stood up and wandered off elsewhere. I went and sat down on her chair, carrying a novel that I had randomly picked. But it's impossible to continue reading a book that I had never intended on reading in the first place, so I found myself getting drowsy... and eventually fell asleep.

At that moment my skirt pocket suddenly vibrated.

"WHA-?!?"

I jumped in astonishment. When I saw everyone frowning at me, I remembered that I was in a library, and immediately rushed out of the library to answer my cell phone, which had been set to silent mode.

"Idiot! What the hell have you been doing!?"

A deafening sound roared through my ear. Haruki's dulcet tones helped me jump straight out of my drowsiness and back to reality.

"Exactly what time do you think it is now?!" he roared through the phone.

"Sorry, I just woke up just now!" I babbled, glancing at my watch. Great, we were at least a quarter of an hour late already!

"What!? Dumbass!"

You are the least qualified person to call me a dumbass!

"Get your ass over here at once! I’m giving you thirty seconds!"

Stop making demands that are impossible to achieve, Haruki!

After Haruki roughly hung up, I shoved my phone back in my pocket and rushed back inside the library. Nagato was still there, reading what looked like a huge encyclopedia.

The following was a little tricky. It took quite some time trying to move Nagato - who seemed almost rooted to the spot - and then we had to go to the counter to fill out a form to borrow the book. And the entire time, my pocket incessantly vibrated - Haruki wouldn't stop calling me.

When we returned to the station, Nagato holding the thick philosophy book in his arms like it was his first-born child, the three people waiting there all had completely different reactions. Asahina-senpai offered us an exhausted smile, coupled with a sigh of relief; Itsuko simply shrugged her shoulders, while Haruki (predictably) yelled at me as though I was on the other side of a mountain.

"Late again!" he snarled. "Penalty!!!"

...I guess that means I have to treat you guys. I looked over at Itsuko.

“Sorry,” she said, shrugging again. “Not this time. I bought a new top, so...”

Gee, thanks for the help.

Finally, we concluded the day's activities, after wasting all our time and lots of Itsuko's and my money. I could have spent today comfortably at home, playing video games...

"I'm tired!" Asahina-san whispered to me as we parted. "Suzumiya-san walked by so fast that I had a tough time keeping up! But thanks for listening to what I had to say today" he said, lowering his head and smiled shyly.

Are all people from the future as stunningly cute as you?

"See-you-later then!" Ashaina said, waving goodbye. As I watched him leave, Itsuko came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Mmmm, today was fun! How should I put this..." she said, looking me in the eyes. "...Suzumiya-san is really quite an interesting person! A pity I couldn't be with you today, though. Next time, maybe, hmmm?"

Itsuko left wearing her trademark grin that was rapidly becoming rather annoying. Turning, I discovered that Nagato had already vanished.

That left Haruki, staring angrily at me.

"What exactly have you been doing all day today?"

"You could ask yourself the same question.”

"What kind of answer is that?!"

He’s really pissed.

"What about you, then? You found something interesting, did you?" I retorted. Haruki said nothing, but started grinding his teeth instead. He’d probably go on until he had no teeth left if I didn’t stop him.

"Well, don't worry," I continued, eventually. "It's not like the mysteries would be so careless as to let you discover them in one day."

Haruki stopped grinding his teeth and turned his gaze away from me. I guess he noticed me trying to lighten the mood.

"...Day after tommorrow, in school. Debriefing. Be there."

Without a single look back, Haruki turned and disappeared into the crowd.

It didn't matter to me. My mind was focused entirely on going home. But when I got back to the bank, I found my bike missing. Replacing it was a small poster on the lamppost which stated that "Your bicycle has been towed away as a result of illegal parking."

...why me?

Monday arrived. And if it wasn't enough that I had to climb the Vinson Massif every single day, the humidity of the rainy season was finally beginning to make itself known. Everybody was sweating buckets, and I was already in dire need of about three showers by the time I got to school. If only they'd give us a shower period instead of useless homeroom... and if some politician had promised to install an escalator on the hill to school, they'd certainly have my vote when I came of age.

I was sitting in the classroom, using a pencil board as a makeshift fan, when the bell rang. Haruki, uncharacteristically, was the last one to enter.

He slammed his bag down on the desk. "Fan me, too!"

"Fan yourself!" I said, irritably. Monday mornings are not the best time to demand things of me, Haruki! Especially not when it’s this hot.

Haruki (who I'd last seen in front of the station two days ago) twisted his face into a sour look, scowling. I thought he'd been getting slightly more pleasant over the last few days, but I guess he'd reverted back to his usual angry self.

"Hey, Suzumiya." I said, shifting my eyes to look at him without moving my head. "Have you ever heard the story of 'The Blue Bird of Happiness'?"

"What's that?"

"…No, never mind. It's nothing."

"Why bother opening your mouth then?!"

As Haruki gave me a sideways scowl, Okabe-sensei arrived and our pointless homeroom session began.

I’m a waste of time, huh?

That day, an aura of resentment and barely-repressed rage radiated out across the classroom from Haruki's downer mood, leaving me with an uncomfortable pressure against my back. The tinny chime that signaled the end of the day had never, ever been so welcome before; like a field mouse fleeing from a raging bushfire, I too evacuated to the clubroom.

I've become so used to seeing Nagato read in the corner that he'd become part of the scenery, an ornament. Like a potted plant. Or something.

Koizumi Itsuko had also just arrived, so it was the three of us in the clubroom that day; Haruki had cleaning duty, and Asahina-senpai apparently hadn't come yet.

I looked at her, sighing a bit.

"I suppose you have something to tell me about Suzumiya?"

"It seems like you’ve already heard it from the others, am I right?"

Itsuko took a quick glance at Nagato, busy reading his book as usual. Her know-it-all tone was getting annoying.

"Let's find some place else to talk. It would be... better if Suzumiya-san didn’t overhear us."

On the way to the cafeteria, Itsuko treated me to a cup of coffee. We sat down at one of the tables set up outside.

"So… what do you know?" she asked, leaning forwards with her hands folded across one another.

I shrugged. "That Suzumiya isn't just an ordinary weirdo, I guess."

She giggled a bit. "Well, that’s certainly true. And I’m glad you understand otherwise I’d have a lot more to explain."

I sighed. Was this some kind of joke? All of the other members of the SOS Brigade had managed to inform me, in their own little ways, that Haruki is not, in fact, human. Had Global Warming managed to fry their brains into bacon crisps or something?

"Fine then. Tell me who you really are."

So far, we have an alien, and a time traveler. What were the other words that came out of Haruki's mouth? I guess we only have two possibilities left...

"Actually, let me guess… You're an esper, right?"

"Well,” Itsuko said, stirring her coffee delicately, "It's probably not the kind you’d imagine, but you’re more or less correct - I am what you call an “esper”. I possess paranormal powers."

I drank my coffee in silence. Bleh, it’s too sweet. She should have ordered less sugar.

"I’ve been a bit troubled having to transfer schools so suddenly, but it seems the circumstances have changed.” She continued to smile calmly. “I would never have thought that those two would have approached Suzumiya Haruki so quickly. Previously, they have always preferred to observe silently, from a distance."

Stop treating Haruki like some treasured, endangered species!

"Don’t get so excited, please. I assure you we have no intentions of harming Suzumiya-san. Quite the opposite, actually; we want to protect him."

I really don't think Haruki requires anybody's protection. "You said, 'we'. I suppose that means there are others out there, like you?"

Itusko smiled elegantly at me, as if pleased. "Well, only a few. I’m one of the lower-ranked members, but I know that there are about ten of us in this world at this time. And we are all supervised by 'The Organization'."

Wonderful. Now we have an 'Organization'.

"I don’t have access to details like how large The Organization is, or who exactly it's made up of. The higher-ups are the only ones who really know."

"So, this 'Organization'," I said, sitting back."What does it do, anyway?"

Itsuko sipped daintily at her cooled coffee.

"It’s probably obvious by now but, The Organization was founded three years ago. And the sole reason it exists is to observe, of course, Suzumiya Haruki." She set the cup back down on the table and folded her hands across one another again. "I'm sure you understand by now. I'm not the only member of The Organization here in this school; we've had sleeper agents here for quite a while. I've merely been transferred here to assist them."

Taniguchi's face suddenly came to mind. She'd been in the same school as Haruki for three years... could she be...?!

No way.

"You're just kidding, right?"

"However, I cannot guarantee that all of them are on Suzumiya-san's side," Itsuko said, acting as if she hadn’t heard me.

Why does everybody seem to like Haruki so much? He's just a crazy, self-centered buffoon who loves creating trouble for other people. Is he really worth so much that an entire organization has to put all its resources into protecting him?

(I gotta admit, though, he is pretty good-looking.)

"I still don’t know the truth to what happened three years ago," Itsuko said quietly, suddenly looking at me seriously and dropping the smile. "It was just… suddenly… I realized I had paranormal powers and unordinary abilities. I had no idea what to do I thought I was going mad or crazy, that there was something wrong with my brain… but then the Organization found me and took me in. If they hadn't... well… I don’t know what I would’ve done."

Did it occur to you that maybe something is wrong with your brain?

Itsuko looked at me painfully for a moment; then she showed me a smile in what she might have thought looked playful. "Well, yes, that is certainly a possibility," she conceded, picking up the cup again. "But we are much more afraid of the other possibilities... the unforeseen possibilities."

Smiling at her own flaws, Itsuko sipped her coffee elegantly. She turned to me, still wearing that smile, and asked:

"So, when do you think this world began its existence?"

Out of nowhere, a big question like that!?

"I guess... at the Big Bang?"

"Yes, that is what most people think. But to us, there is another possibility - that this world came into being three years ago."

I stared at Itsuko in silence.

She smiled contently back at me.

Finally I cried out, "That's completely impossible! I can still clearly remember what happened even further back than three years ago! My parents are still alive, I still have the three stitches I got when I fell into a drain when I was a kid - and how do you explain all this junk that I've been desperately memorizing from our history textbooks?"

"How can you be sure that all humans, including you, are not simply created with these earlier memories? If you accept that as possible, then you don't even need to dwell on 'three years ago'. It might as well be 'five minutes ago' that the universe was born."

She smiled, wider than ever. Her perfect teeth glinted in the sunlight.

I didn’t respond.

"Try to imagine a virtual reality. Everything that you see, smell and touch in that virtual reality is nothing more than electrical impulses acting upon your neural centers in your brain. But you believe that everything that you experience is, well, real. Reality is... fragile."

...was that a reference to something?

I sighed.

"Look, let's just say I agree with you. It doesn't matter whether the Earth was created three years ago or five minutes ago. What's this 'Organization' got to do with Haruki?"

"Our leader believes that the reality we know may be nothing more than a person's dream. We are such stuff as dreams are made of... no, perhaps that should more accurately be: This world is such stuff as dreams are made of. An 'insubstantial pageant', if you will. And for the dreamer, to create and alter this dream... well, there is nothing easier. And we all know who this dreamer, who this person is..."

Maybe it's just all these complex references she's throwing down, but Itsuko’s face looks surprisingly mature right now.

"Humans have always had a name for those who can destroy and remake the world at will. They have called them: God."

…Haruki… You're already being worshipped as a god. Just like you wanted.

"And that is why The Organization must be very careful. If God becomes displeased with this world, he may simply destroy this old world and replace it with a new one, like a kid who doesn't like his sandcastle, and destroys it before making another one. This world has its problems, I know, but it’s not completely terrible, there are definitely some good things in it and it is for this reason that I help the Organization to protect the world."

I put my hand to my head again. "Look, why not simply go up and ask Haruki about all this? Tell him not to destroy the world. If it's this important, he might actually listen for a change."

Itsuko toyed with her cup a little. "Suzumiya-san is unaware of his own powers. And part of our job is to make sure he remains so and lives out his life peacefully." She smiled again. "He’s a bit too… immature to become a fully responsible ‘God’. But though he has not reached full potential yet, we have seen signs of his power."

"Such as?"

"Think about it. Why would time-travelers, aliens, and espers exist in the first place? Because Suzumiya-san wishes for it."

I thought back to that first day. "If anyone here is an alien, a time traveler, slider, or an esper, then come! Be my bride!" Was that what brought them all out of hiding? His crazy quest for a worthy bride?

And if that was something he had seriously wished for, why were the alien and the time-traveler guys?

"We hypothesize that he is unable to completely utilize his powers at the moment; he is only able to release them subconsciously, almost randomly. But for the past few months, Suzumiya-san has been continually releasing powers far beyond human comprehension. One side-effect of these random power outbursts has resulted in Suzumiya-san having Asahina Mitsuuru, Nagato Yuuki and myself join his club, without knowledge of who we are."

So I guess that makes me the only person without a secret to hide.

"About that... well… you’re right. You’re a mysterious presence. You have been chosen by Suzumiya Haruki. And I've done quite a lot of background checks on you - it's impolite, I know, but I hope you don't mind - and I assure you, you are a genuine, certified, 100% normal human being. No special powers, nothing."

...is that a compliment? Or should I be disappointed, instead?

"I don’t really know, myself," said Itsuko, spreading her hands and smiling her smile at me. "But the way things are going, I suggest you be very careful so as to not let Suzumiya-san slip into a state of melancholy, or to tire of this reality. The fate of the world may rest in your hands."

"Since you guys believe Haruki is God," I suggested, sarcastically, "Why don't you just abduct him, perform an autopsy on him and see what his brain's made of? Hell, you might just learn the secrets of the universe!"

"There are some extremists within The Organization who feel that way," Itsuko nodded, "but the majority believe it would be best if we were to leave him alone. Who knows what might occur if God were to become... displeased by this situation? We hope for this world to remain as it is, so we must hope that Suzumiya-san never becomes displeased with this world."

"What are we supposed to do, then?"

"Unfortunately… I don’t know."

You talk an awful lot for somebody who doesn't know.

"And what would happen were Haruki to die?"

Itsuko sighed, turning her head away for a moment. "Would the world simply be destroyed upon his death? Or would God simply cease to exist? Perhaps a new God would replace him. Until it occurs, nobody really knows."

"So you have... what, psychic powers or something?"

"Mmm... you could say that."

"Then show me some of your stupendous powers. Make me believe you. Say, for example," – I spotted my coffee which had gone cold a long time ago - "Make this coffee warm again."

Itsuko smiled cheerfully at me. But this time her smile didn't look pre-packaged, made of plastic. I think this might be the first real smile I've ever seen from her.

"I'm sorry, but that's not possible at the moment" she said, pushing back her chair and standing. "My powers are very limited; in reality, I barely qualify as an esper at all. But I do believe you will have the chance to see them one day."

She gave me one last smile. "Sadly, it’s time for our conversation to end. Sorry to take up so much of your time"

I watched her as she strolled away until she disappeared, then I thought of grabbing the paper cup.

...I thought so. The coffee's still cold.

When I returned to the clubroom, I stumbled across Asahina-senpai half-undressed inside.

"..."

I froze, one hand on the door handle. He stared at me, the maid costume in one hand, and slowly opened his mouth to scream.

"Sorry-!"

Before he had the chance to cry out, I pulled the foot that was in the room back and slammed the door shut. Maybe I should've knocked first. No, hang on, if he's changing, then he should've locked the door!

Just as I was wondering whether I should simply just go home, a soft voice came from the other side of the door. "You can come in now..."

"Sorry." I said, wincing a little. Embarrassing.

"No, no, it doesn't matter... I should have locked the door..."

My sentiments exactly.

Asahina-senpai continued to apologize as he opened the door. His head was lowered, and he was blushing. "Sorry, I always show my embarrassing side..."

It's no problem, really. He's really obedient, isn't he? Wearing that maid costume like Haruki ordered, even though he hates it...

But that's what makes him so cute!

I quickly moved to the commander's seat and booted up the computer. Sensing somebody watching me, I lifted my head to find Nagato Yuuki's eyes fixed on me, instead of his book. When he noticed me watching him, he adjusted his glasses ever so slightly and turned his eyes back towards the pages once more.

That's... surprisingly human of him.

I opened the internet browser and went to the club webpage, trying to think of something to add to the site, but I had no idea where to start. This webpage was really just a waste of time... but I was bored. I'd gotten tired of Othello, and I needed to kill time somehow.

As I crossed my arms over my chest and muttered under my breath, somebody placed a cup of warm tea in front of me. I glanced up to find Asahina-senpai in his maid costume smiling nervously at me, carefully balancing a tea tray in one hand.

Wow. Exactly like a real maid.

"Thanks."

Itsuko had just treated me to a cup of coffee, but I will gladly accept this from you, Asahina-senpai!

Asahina-senpai placed another cup next to Nagato (who didn't even look up), and then sat down and began to slowly sip his own cup of tea.

Time passed.

In the end...

...Haruki never came to the clubroom at all that day.

"Hey, where'd you go yesterday? I thought we were going to have some sort of debriefing?"

I was speaking with Haruki before homeroom, as usual. Lying sprawled over the desk, his chin to the table, Haruki flashed me an annoyed look.

"Bah! I already had the debriefing on my own yesterday!"

I guess Haruki must've retraced everywhere we'd gone last Saturday after school instead of coming to the clubroom.

"You guys probably missed something, so I went through those places again by myself." he muttered, avoiding my eyes. Who was it that said “criminals always return to the scene of the crime?” I guess that applies to aliens, time travelers, and espers as well. And Haruki.

“So, did you find anything?” I asked.

“...It's all part of the plan, all part of the plan...” Haruki mumbled into the desk, not lifting his head. Is that a no? Do you even really have a plan?

Haruki suddenly flung himself off the desk and back into his chair. "Arrrgh, it's hot as hell!" he said suddenly. Changing the subject, eh? "When is the school gonna switch uniforms? I wanna wear our short sleeves already!"

I glanced at his rolled up sleeves. They don't change seasonal wear until June, anyway, and there's a week left before the end of May...

"Suzumiya. Look." I said. "I've probably said this before, but have you ever considered just... giving up on all this paranormal stuff and trying to live a normal high school life?"

I thought he'd lift his head and scowl at me, as usual, but he didn't even move. He must be really exhausted. "A normal high school life? What kind of life is that?" he asked the table.

He doesn’t sound interested at all.

"Something like... settling down, finding a nice, normal girlfriend, you know? Although I guess you might stumble across an alien while you're dating. It'd be like killing two birds with one stone." I said, smiling at the thought. "Besides, I bet there's plenty of girls lining up for you right now. You just gotta be patient and that special someone will come 'round eventually."

Haruki lifted his head up from the desk and just looked at me for a few seconds. "Hmph, like it matters!" he said, after a moment of silence. "Love! It's stupid! It's like... like some sort of mental illness!"

Then what about your quest for an alien bride, or whatever, then?

Haruki looked out the window. "I do think about that sorta stuff, though. I’m a healthy guy, after all. But there’s no way I’m just gonna ask some stupid girl out and be saddled with a huge burden forever! ‘Sides, if I’m too busy going on dates, what’s gonna happen to my SOS Brigade? I just founded it!"

Technically, you haven't actually founded it at all.

"Look, why not create a club that involves some form of actual entertainment? That would attract more members for sure."

"No." Haruki flatly refused. "I only founded the SOS Brigade because all the other clubs were too boring, and I've even recruited an interesting experiment like Mitsuuru-kun and a Mysterious Transfer Student, too! Why hasn't anything happened yet?! This is so frustrating…!”

This is the first time I've seen Haruki this depressed. A big guy like that looking so pathetic makes me feel depressed too...

I need to stop letting this get to me.

For the rest of the day and all through class, Haruki was asleep. The weird thing is though, the teachers never noticed.

It's got to be a coincidence. It's just got to be.

Strange things had been set in motion that day. Nobody else had noticed because these events hadn't built up to their shocking climax just yet, but I had been thinking about them all day, ever since homeroom.

You see, while I was talking to Haruki, my mind was dwelling on something else. It all began with a simple note that was left in my shoe locker this morning.

The note said, "After school when everybody else has left, come to the 1-5 classroom".

The handwriting was angular and archaic-looking. It looked like it had been written by a guy. There was no signature.

So, what the hell was this all about? The differing opinions in my mind decided to hold an emergency meeting to debate amongst themselves.

The first thought said, "This has happened before". But the writing was different from the writing on the bookmark. Nagato (the "Living Humanoid Interface" for aliens from outer space) has handwriting so perfect it's like printed text, but this note, although well-written, isn't so flawless. And Nagato probably wouldn't be so direct as to stick a note in my shoe locker.

The second asked, "Could it be Asahina-senpai?" No, if it was Asahina-senpai, I doubted he'd just tear off a piece of paper and throw it into my locker casually. He seemed like the type of person who'd use an envelope for this kind of thing.

It was also kinda weird that the specified meeting location was my classroom.

"It can't be Haruki!?" exclaimed the third. That was even more ridiculous than my first or second thoughts. If Haruki had anything to say to me in private, he'd probably just carry me off over his shoulder and tell me directly - he wasn't the kind of guy to go for subtlety.

Based on that kind of reasoning (although omitting the 'carry over the shoulder' bit), I eliminated Itsuko from all the possible candidates. Finally, my fourth thought, stronger and louder than all the rest, asked the obvious question: "Could it just be a love letter from a stranger?"

I guess it made sense. The writer had specified that I should come "after everyone else is gone", and it had been stuffed into my shoe locker, which is where you'd expect to find a confession note. It’s a big cliché, but an accurate one, I suppose. Still, in all my years of school, I've never, ever gotten one of these. Why would they start coming now? I don't think I'm any better looking now than I was in junior high...

My fifth thought, which were slightly more cynical than the rest of my thoughts, told me that "It's probably a prank". Yeah, Taniguchi and Kunikida would probably do that kind of thing; it certainly sounded more realistic than me having suddenly acquired a mysterious admirer. Taniguchi would play a stupid joke like that on me, though I think she probably would've written more.

I had been drifting aimlessly through my school day while these thoughts had been swirling around in my head. As I was wondering how I could escape from Haruki long enough to get to this meeting spot, he grumpily announced that he was going to go home and "Punch something".

Chance!

I decided to go to the clubroom first because I didn’t want to look like some pining lonely girl who was desperate enough to wait in a classroom all day for some random stranger. If Taniguchi suddenly walked in and said "Oh my God, Kyon! I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you’d take a letter like that so seriously!" while secretly trying to hide her laughter I'd be really pissed. No, it’d be better if I kill some time first and then go peek into the classroom to see if anyone’s there. Yeah, that's the perfect strategy.

I arrived at the clubroom entrance. This time, I remembered to knock.

"Please come in!"

Once I had heard Asahina-senpai's voice, I opened the door and entered the clubroom. Regardless of how wrong it is, he still looks cute in that maid costume.

"You're a little late!" said Asahina-san happily, his back to me. He looked like he was brewing tea again. "Where's Suzumiya-san?"

"He went home. Actually, he seemed pretty tired. If you want to get some revenge, I’d do it now."

Asahina-senpai looked flustered. "I-I wouldn’t d-do anything like that!"

I was only joking, Asahina-senpai!

We sat down, face to face at the table and drank our tea while Nagato read silently in his corner. Without Haruki, I guess we were nothing more than a do-nothing club.

"Itsuko still hasn't arrived?" I asked, eventually.

"Koizumi-san came earlier, but she said she’s got her part time job today, so she already left."

What kind of part-time job, exactly? Well, at least now I can confidently cross out Itsuko and Haruki from my list of suspects.

Since I had nothing to do but wait, I played a few games of Othello with Asahina-senpai while chatting a bit. After three games, I stopped playing and went to surf the internet for a little bit, and eventually, Nagato stopped reading and stiffly closed his book. Recently, we'd taken this action of his as a sign to call it day for our club activities (though what those club activities actually are is still unclear), and we all began to pack our stuff away.

Asahina-senpai turned to me. "I need to change, so you go on out first."

I left the room and proceeded to my classroom. The clock had said half past five when I glanced at it, so there shouldn't be anybody left in the classroom. Even if it were a prank by Taniguchi, she'd probably have gone home by now out of boredom. Despite that, I ran up the two flights of stairs to the top floor, just to be safe. I mean, what if it really was a confession?

I breathed in deeply in the silent corridor. The classroom doors all have slightly tinted windows, so I couldn't see anything clearly inside - only that the sunset had painted the room a wonderful orange-red (though that probably indicated some level of pollution around the town). Casually, I opened the door to classroom 1-5 and stuck my head inside.

It wasn't surprising to find somebody waiting inside the classroom (the note had kind of made that obvious), but it was a shock to find out who exactly it was. Standing in front of the blackboard was someone I would never have even have suspected.

"You're late."

Asakura Ryou smiled gently at me.

He flicked his beautiful silken hair and began to stroll leisurely towards me, between the seats and the tables. His handsome face still wore that serene smile that Asakura was so famous for.

...Is this really a confession, after all? And from Asakura, of all people?

He halted in the middle of the classroom, and gestured towards me with a smile. "Well, come on in!"

I felt like I had no control over my body, as if his little wave had made me let go of the door handle and step fully inside the classroom. "S-so it's you..." I stammered, a little nervously.

"Yes, surprised?"

Asakura smiled warmly at me, the right side of his face red with the light of the sunset shining through the window. My face was red too, although not for the same reason.

"Y-you wanted to talk t-to me?" Dammit, I sound like Asahina-senpai!

Asakura chuckled softly. "Indeed, I was looking for you. I have something... to ask you."

His face, white and pure as the snowy peaks of the alps, turned towards me as he began to ask his question. "Have you ever heard of the saying, 'tis better to have lost and loved, then to never have loved at all'?" he said, still smiling serenely at me. I guess this was some kind of segue? "And do you think that... 'loving', in this context, may refer to... taking action, as well?"

W-what the hell is he talking about? "I-I'm not really sure who said that-" I said, blushing even more, "-but I guess the meaning makes... sense...?"

"If there existed a situation... where staying within the status quo would simply make things worse, and you had no idea how to improve it, what would you do?" he continued.

"U-Um... i-improve what?" I asked, confused. Is there a confession coming, or...?

Asakura smiled and continued, ignoring my question. "Wouldn't you say that it would be better to do anything, anything at all, and face the consequences? Because to do nothing would simply let the situation degrade?"

"Uh... I guess s-so...?" God-damnit! Did I get my hopes up for nothing?

"That's what I meant!"

Asakura (who had his hands behind his back this entire time) smiled widely, and leaned slightly forward.

"But those above are incapable of thinking laterally. They're out of touch with the rapid changes on this plane of reality. So I am... compelled to do something, to make something happen, so that this situation does not degrade any further. That is why I have decided to act without authorization, and force a change upon this situation."

Um, sorry?

What on Earth are you talking about, Asakura? Is this some kind of prank?

I glanced around the room, wondering whether Taniguchi had set me up like this and was now hiding in the cleaning cabinet behind me, or sitting hidden under the teacher's desk, barely suppressing her laughter. I wouldn't put this kind of thing past Taniguchi-

"I've grown tired of having to observe a changeless environment. That is why..."

I was so busy looking around that I didn't really listen to what Asakura was actually saying.

"I have to kill you, and observe the reaction of Suzumiya Haruki."

Some instinct made me throw myself backwards as Asakura moved his hands from behind his back and a silvery metallic flash went straight through where my neck used to me. Through a sudden fog of adrenaline and fear, I watched half of the ribbon on the front of my uniform float slowly towards the ground as I heard the crash of the teacher's desk collapsing a few feet away.

Smiling pleasantly, Asakura's right hand now held a katana nearly half my height.

I was very, very lucky to dodge the first strike. If I hadn’t, I would probably have ended up like that desk. But right then I was on the ground on my backside, looking palely up at Asakura. "Don't let him back me into a corner!" was the thought that flashed through my mind, as (obedient to my hindbrain's wishes) I scuttled desperately backwards.

Why didn't Asakura chase me?

...No, wait! What the hell's going on here? Why is somebody as... as nice and pure as Asakura trying to gut me with a sword? Why the hell does he even have a sword? Wait, what did he just say? He wants to kill me? Kill? But, why?! Why me!?

"S-Stop joking around!" I said, trying to climb to my feet whilst pressing my back against the classroom wall. "T-that's really dangerous! Even if it were a fake, I'd still be really, really scared! Please, put that thing away!"

I was really terrified and confused. Taniguchi, if this is your doing, you've gone way too far! Somebody, please come and help me!"

"You think I'm joking?" Asakura said in his normal, cheerful tone, not sounding very serious at all. There's not much scarier than somebody about to murder you with a sword treating the event like a chat between classmates. "Hmmm..."

Asakura let the back of the katana rest over his shoulders, and stroked his chin. "You don't like dying? You don't want to die? This hesitation of biological life-forms to submit to the inevitable has always been a mystery to me..."

I finally had managed to get to my feet, telling myself that this had to be a joke - just a really bad joke, damnit! This was way too surreal! Asakura is the serious, responsible class president, who only talks when necessary in class, and faces every single problem calmly, without panicking! He's every girl's dream! Why would he wave around a katana and declare that he wants to kill me, all of a sudden?

But that thing is real, and I was going to be in two pieces if I wasn't careful.

"I-I don't understand what you're saying!" I said quickly, an undercurrent of fear audible in my voice, eyes darting around the empty classroom. "This isn't funny anymore, OK? Please, put that scary thing away!"

"I can't do that," Asakura said, smiling his usual perfect smile, "because I really do want you to die!"

He lifted the katana above his head and brought it crashing down in the blink of an eye. Gods, he's fast! But I had just managed to anticipate his movement and threw myself sideways just in time. I heard the desk behind me shatter as I ducked under his arm and ran for the door.

I rushed forwards, the door getting closer with every step - and ran straight into a wall.

W-what?!

Where the heck did the door go? Even the windows were gone! A second ago, the windows and the doors to the corridor - and escape - were there, but now it was just a thick grey wall!

No way!

"Do not attempt to escape."

Asakura's voice grew closer as I scabbled desperately at the blank surface.

"I have gained control over this sub-space. All exits have been blocked. Quite simple, really - all I needed to do was tamper with the molecular structure of the materials at hand. In any case, this room has been sealed. There are no ways in or out."

I turned around, prepared to dive through a window if necessary, only to find that the sunset - or, more to the point, the other windows - had disappeared as well. All that was left were giant concrete walls, and the cold white light of the lamps shining down onto whatever desks remained.

This can't be! This isn’t possible! What the hell is going on?

Asakura's silhouette moved slowly towards me.

"As your class president, I advise you to cease resistance. You're going to die anyway."

"W-what the hell are you?!"

No matter where I looked there was nothing but faceless concrete and featureless walls! There wasn't a single door, a single window, nothing! Was there something wrong with my brain?

I frantically dashed between the desks, trying to get as far from Asakura as possible. But he just moved slowly towards me in a straight line, smiling his gentle smile as he sliced desks and chairs aside like so much kindling. Unlike him, my path was always blocked.

This game of cat and mouse did not last very long. Pretty soon, I was cornered.

If this was how it was going to end, I decided - to hell with it! I hurled a chair at Asakura with all my might. But it slowed and stopped in the air before it got anywhere near Asakura, and then flew off to the other side of the room, landing in a cloud of dust.

This is impossible, completely impossible!

"Impressive strength for a life-form of your characteristics, but resistance is futile. Everything in this room moves according to my will."

Wait... Wait!

“Nothing you do has any meaning. It is useless.” said Asakura, still smiling.

What is going on here? If this isn't a joke or a prank, and neither Asakura nor me were crazy, then what’s going on?

I have to kill you, and see what sort of reaction Suzumiya Haruki will have.

...Haruki, Haruki, it's always bloody Haruki! You're getting way too damn popular, Haruki!

Asakura sighed as I desperately began to tense my legs to try and leap over a table to escape. "Hmm... what did I just say? I should have just done this from the beginning, I suppose."

I couldn't move my body.

The second he said those words, my entire body just - froze - in place. H-hey! No fair! That's cheating, you bastard!

My feet were rooted to the ground like a tree, unable to move even the smallest muscle. My arms were fixed like a wax statue, and I couldn't even blink. All I could do was stare, horrified, at Asakura's face as he slowly approached, bringing the katana around to a ready position.

"Once you die, Suzumiya Haruki is bound to have some sort of reaction. This may result in a massive data explosion from which we may salvage something. This might be the one-in-a-million-chance for us."

I still have no freaking idea what you're on about!

"So please." he smiled. "Die!"

He swung his sword around. This is it, I thought oddly calmly, trying desperately to squeeze my eyes tightly shut as the whistling sound of the sword filled my world.

...swish...

I felt the hairband holding my ponytail up suddenly split in two as it fell to the floor, cloven cleanly in twain. Asakura was still leveling the katana at me, smiling.

"Ah... I suppose, in the end, I couldn't resist." he said, lowering the katana a little. "I have always wondered what you would look like with your hair down, and I have to say, you do look much nicer. More... wild."

Great. The only guy to ever hit on me also happens to be a magical sword-wielding psycho. Just my luck.

"I suppose I have wasted enough time, though." he continued, raising the katana above his head. "Farewell, Kyon-chan! It was quite nice to meet you!"

If I have a magical protector watching over me, now would be a great time for him to appear! Please, someone! Help me!

"Now, die!"

At least let me close my eyes...! No, I couldn't do even that.

As the blade began to descend towards my face, I felt a sudden sense of pressure in the air around me, and-

The ceiling suddenly collapsed in with a massive, loud crack and a protesting groan as debris began to tumble down, raising massive clouds of dust and obscuring my vision. Some of the smaller pieces rained down upon my unlucky head, and I ducked beneath my raised arms to ward off the rubble. Damni- wait, I can use my arms? I can move?

I lifted my head to discover-

Asakura, displaying the only look of surprise I'd ever seen on his beautiful face, katana halfway towards me, uniform and hair covered in just a slight coating of white dust. And in front of me, catching the blade of the sword with just two bare fingers - the slim, silent figure of Nagato Yuuki.

"Your programs were too basic." Nagato said expressionlessly. "The data lockdown on the ceiling was incomplete. It did not withstand an intensive assault."

"You wish to interfere?"

Asakura still sounded perfectly calm. "Once I slaughter this girl, Suzumiya Haruki is bound to have sort of reaction. Only then can we obtain more information."

"You are my backup." Nagato said in a mantra-like tone, still holding the katana blade between two fingers. "Insubordination is forbidden. You must obey my commands."

"Oh? And what if I refuse?"

"I will disconnect your data interface."

Asakura smiled gently. "Would you like to try, Nagato-san? I have the advantage here. This classroom is under my data jurisdiction."

Nagato stiffened for a second. "Processing application for data interface disconnection-"

"What?!"

The second Asakura heard that phrase, he wrenched his katana out of Nagato's grasp and leaped backwards around five meters away. Confronted with this kind of scene, I couldn't help but realize it - these two really aren't human!

Asakura landed gracefully in the distance and rose back to his feet, still smiling. As he strolled forwards towards as once more, the space around us began to distort - that's the only way I could describe it. The desks, the ceiling, the floor - everything began to shake vigorously and (though I couldn't see it clearly) began to take on the appearance of liquid metal.

"Well then," Asakura said, "Let's see how you handle this!"

The liquid metal rose, formed into the shapes of spears, and suddenly hurled themselves at us from every direction with lightning-fast speed. But Nagato blurred before my eyes and suddenly the spears were all embedding themselves by my feet or around the room. Did he just - did he just block them all?

As the dust cleared, Asakura charged forwards, katana at the ready. Panicking, I tried to turn and run, but Nagato leaned backwards and grabbed my arm.

"Do not attempt to move away."

One of his hands was suddenly behind my head as he shoved me downwards whilst dodging a few swings of Asakura's katana. "Aaaah!" I screamed, as something flew over my head and smashed the blackboard to pieces.

Nagato glanced upwards, and icicles instantly sprouted from the ceilings and crashed down towards Asakura, who dodged away at a speed that was incredibly difficult to follow with the naked eye. This is insane! A second later, a forest of stalagtites exploded upwards from the ground.

"This area of space belongs to me." announced Asakura calmly. "There is no way for you to prevail." He and Nagato stood a few meters apart, facing each other, while I could only kneel on the ground shaking, afraid to stand, my hopes scattered to the winds.

Nagato was standing slightly in front of me, his legs slightly spread, and it was only now that I noticed that he had even written his name on his indoor shoes. As if chanting a prayer, Nagato mumbled something quickly.

    SELECT serial_code
    FROM database
    WHERE code='data'
    ORDER BY aggressive_combat_data
    HAVING terminate_mode

"Target name: Asakura Ryou, hostile intent confirmed. Beginning disconnection of target's organic information interface."

Normal physics must no longer apply in this classroom - everything's turned into crazy geometric shapes, twisting and turning before my eyes! It's like a theme park's house of horrors, illusions and stomach-churning dimensions - I'm getting dizzy!

"You will cease functionality before I do. We'll see how long you can last protecting that pathetic thing." said Asakura quite casually, his voice seemingly coming from everwhere at once. "Take this."

Where is he? I can't locate where his voice is coming from, in this blinding whirlwind of light and colour!

Whoosh... went the sound of something slicing through the air. At that, Nagato suddenly spun, grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me bodily aside.

"H-hey! What are you-"

Before I could finish, I heard the distinctive sound of metal meeting flesh.

Nagato stood above me, impaled straight through the chest by Asakura's katana.

I guessed... that Asakura had thrown his katana at me to try and catch Nagato off-guard and kill me? But Nagato had managed to throw me out of harm's way, yet had been unable to avoid the sword and had thus gotten 3 feet of steel straight through the chest.

Oh, no...

Nagato's glasses fell from his face and tinkled slightly as they hit the ground.

"N-NAGATO!" I screamed, eyes widening in horror. No, you idiot, what did you-

"I told you not to move." Nagato said softly, looking at the sword sticking out of his ribcage. A pool of blood was slowly beginning to form beneath his feet. "Do not worry for my sake; I am fine."

H-how exactly does being impaled make you fine?!?

Without flinching, Nagato pulled the katana out of his body and dropped it on the ground. It fell the ground with a slightly wooden noise as it instantly transformed back into a shinai. Was that what that thing really was?

"I can't see you defending that human very well in your damaged state," announced Asakura calmly from somewhere in the room, "but it would be unwise to leave you still functional. Goodbye, Nagato-san."

On the other side of what had once been the room, Asakura's silhouette began to unfade from the twisted lightshow. I could see his serene smile as he slowly folded his arms over his chest - and giant, black tentacles, tipped with spikes, sprouted violently from his back.

"Now, die."

Asakura's tentacles extended, wriggling like worms, and shot in on Nagato from every direction. Unable to move, his slim figure shook violently - and the next second, my face was splattered with blood.

One tentacle clawed into Nagato's right abdomen, another into the left side of his chest, another through his throat, through his arms, his legs… too many to count. Blood spattered from Nagato's mouth, his wounds, and down along his legs, pooling beneath his legs.

"It's over." Nagato said quietly, reaching one hand out slowly and clutching a spike. Nothing happened.

"What's over?" Asakura asked, sounding deeply satisfied. "You mean the three years of your short life?"

"No." said a seriously wounded Nagato, as though nothing had happened to him. "Commencing data interface disconnection."

Almost instantly, everything in the classroom began to glow brightly, and then crystallized and dissolved, turning into sand.

"H-how... how can thi-?" Asakura's face shifted into the second expression of shock I'd ever seen as crystallized sand drifted down from the ceiling, and then reverted to his normal serene disposition. "Ah, no, I see. Well, well... you really are amazing, you know that?"

"It took me some time to penetrate the firewall program," Nagato said calmly as the tentacles protruding from his body dissolved into sand. "But now, everything ends."

"You had already planted destructive factors around the room long before you entered, correct? No wonder you seemed to be operating at reduced capabilities. You had already used much of your runtime beforehand..." Asakura said, a note of despondency audible beneath his apparently-cheerful voice. He looked at his arms as they began to crystallize, and sighed.

"Such a pity. I suppose I am just the backup, after all. And I thought this would finally be a chance to break free of this stagnation..."

Asakura turned to me with his pearly-white smile.

"Well, I lost! I guess you get to live after all. You'd better be careful, though. I’m not the only one with a dissenting opinion. Just like with humans, eh? The good, and the bad... And who knows, even those who control Nagato-san might change their thinking and decide to kill you instead."

He was by now covered from chest to toe by the glowing, crystalline substance. "Well, even so. I wish you and Suzumiya-san the best of luck. Goodbye!"

As the crystals reached his face, Asakura gave me that eerily calm, serene smile of his, then he was gone. Under a rain of crystallized sand, the high-school student, class president, and kendo club member known as Asakura Ryou vanished forever from the face of this earth.

There was a shadow over my head, suddenly, as Nagato Yuuki collapsed. I tried desperately to catch him, but he was too heavy, so he ended up on top of me on the floor.

"N-N-Nagato! Hang in there! I'll call the ambulance or something!"

"There is no need."

Nagato stared into my eyes, blood still sluggishly flowing from his chest.

"Physical damage is of no consequence. Current priority is the restoration of this sub-space into its original state."

The sand crystals stopped floating down, as Nagato stiffened once again. "Removing impure substances. Reconstructing classroom." he announced, his eyes briefly flashing.

As he finished speaking, the familiar form of the 1-5 classroom reappeared before my eyes. It was like a tape rewinding; everything in the room forming out of the crystal sand which threw itself back into shape and solidified. The blackboard, the teacher's desk, the remaining chairs and desks - I couldn't describe it with mere words. If I had watched a video of it, I would have thought it was state-of-the-art CGI instead.

Windows reappeared from the walls, their half-stained glass intact; the sunset flooded in, bathing Nagato and myself in an orange-red light. All the blood that had splattered onto my face had completely disappeared.

Amazing... the only way I could possible describe it was, magical.

"Um... thanks. Are y-you really okay?"

Nagato, my saviour, was still collapsed on top of me. I thought he'd be bleeding all over me with his open wounds and the damage to his uniform, but they'd vanished along with the blood on me.

"Processing power has been converted into data operation, therefore, the linking interface has been temporarily reversed." he muttered.

"Uh, you want some help up?" Not that I'm in a position to give any, but...

"There is no need." Nagato said, moving his hands and attempting to rise. "I-"

He grunted, suddenly, moving one hand to his face. "My glasses. I forgot to regenerate them."

"...Um, uh, actually, I think you look cooler without them... glasses guys aren't really my type..."

"Pardon?"

"Uh, nothing."

"I... see."

Now's not the time to be saying stupid things like that! If I could have gotten out from underneath Nagato, I would probably have run out of the classroom in utter embarrassment.

"Excuse me!"

The classroom door suddenly shot open.

"I forgot~ I forgot my stuff~" hummed Taniguchi absentmindedly as she wandered into the classroom, fiddling with her cameraphone.

She probably hadn't been expecting anybody to be in the classroom, so when she noticed Nagato sprawled on top of me on the floor, she stood dumbfounded. There was a slight 'click' as she stared at us, and I realized that she had probably accidentally hit the 'record' button in shock.

With Nagato on top of me, and my hair still down, it’s pretty easy to see what conclusion she'd immediately come to.

"I-I'm so sorry-!" she said suddenly, turning bright red and looking flustered, and turned and fled the classroom. "No, Taniguchi - it's not what you-!" I called after her, but she was already too far away.

"Such an interesting person." Nagato said.

I sighed heavily. "What should we do now?"

"Leave it to me." Nagato said, his eyes still looking down at me.

"Data manipulation is my specialty. I shall let everybody think that Asakura Ryou has been transferred out."

That wasn’t what I was talking about, but… data manipulation? Is that how he does it?

I've just experienced an incredible event. This is no longer an issue of whether I believe in all the stuff Nagato told me the other day - what just happened has made me realize how serious this really is. I thought I was going to die! If Nagato hadn't shown up to save me, I would've been killed by Asakura. And the experiences of the classroom distorting, Asakura's deadly spikes, and Nagato eliminating him without a single sign of emotion have all been etched permanently into my memory.

By the way, thank you, Nagato-san.

In a way, though, doesn't this make me a participant in this Mysterious event? Like I said earlier, I had always wanted to be a bystander that would just get drawn into events, a sidekick or something. But it's looking more and more like I'm the main character! I had always wished to be a character in some sort of story involving aliens, but now that I actually was one, well... it really put everything into perspective.

This really isn’t what I had been hoping for…

What I really want is to be the sort of side character that cheerfully provides helpful advice whenever other people are facing their difficulties. I didn’t want my own classmates to go crazy and target me! I have a lot of respect for my own life, thank you very much!

My mind wandered aimlessly as I lay back on the floor of the orange-red classroom. I had forgotten about Nagato, who was still above me, staring down with his usual expressionless face.

H-Hey! Wait a minute! If you're done regenerating, get off me!

The following day, Asakura Ryou disappeared from Class 1-5. And I was the only one who had seen it coming.

“Ehh, I guess it has something to do with Asakura-kun's mother's work, that's why he had to transfer out all of a sudden." shrugged Okabe-sensei, one hand behind her head. "Frankly, all the teachers were shocked as well when they heard the news this morning. They'd already flown off yesterday because they had to leave the country so fast."

When Okabe-sensei announced this cover story, most of the girls exclaimed in shock and horror, "What? Why!?", while the guys started muttering amongst themselves about this. Even Okabe-sensei looked confused. And, of course, the person sitting behind me couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

Boink! He rapped the top of my head lightly. Haruki, if you touch me again…

"Kyon, this HAS to be a Mysterious Event!" Haruki's eyes shone brightly. I could almost see the vigor flow back into him.

What should I do? Should I tell him the truth?

"Actually, Haruki, Asakura-kun was created by an alien lifeform known as the Integrated Data Sentient Entity. Nagato-kun was his superior, but for some reason their relationship broke down, and in the end Asakura ended up trying to kill me. As to why it involves me, it’s all your fault. However, Asakura-kun got turned into a pile of sand by Nagato-kun and disappeared, so it’s all better now.’

Hell no. I'd be carted off to the funny farm if I said something like that. I'll just pretend that everything that happened yesterday was just a horrible, horrible nightmare and leave it at that..

"First my Mysterious Transfer Student shows up, then the class president transfers out mysteriously. There’s something going on here, I know it!”

Oh, should I commend you on your brilliant instincts?

"Maybe his mom got a transfer?" I muttered, still exhausted from yesterday.

"Bah! I'm not buying such a lame excuse."

"Believe it or not, that's the number one reason for having to transfer schools."

"Isn’t it strange, though? It was only one day between them receiving the job transfer notification and them moving out. Just what kind of work is his mom doing, anyway?"

"Maybe his parents simply didn’t tell him beforehand…"

"Impossible! It requires further investigation."

I felt vaguely tempted to tell him that the job transfer was merely an excuse and they had left the country to escape from a massive mountain of debt, but I decided not to. Because a) I was talking to Haruki, would would probably take that seriously and invent some crazy sprawling story involving the mafia and the yakuza and treat it like fact, and b) I was the only one who knew the real story.

"As Supremely Manly Commander of the SOS Brigade, I cannot leave such a Mysterious Event uninvestigated!"

Just…. stop, please.

“By the way, what’s with your hair?”

“Don’t ask.”

Haruki looked offended at my response, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t find any hair ties when I looked this morning, so I figured I might as well just come to school without a ponytail. Besides, after what happened yesterday, I really have to re-evaluate how I view my life. Does this new look accurately depict what I’m feeling right now?

Having witnessed all this supernatural stuff firsthand, and trying to tell myself that it never happened, I had to pick one of the following choices: I was either hallucinating; or something was wrong with my brain; or the world is strange enough already; or I'd had a very long dream.

There’s no way I could admit the world is some sort of virtual reality.

Aggh! 15 is too early to face a life-changing crisis!

Why does a first year high school girl like me have to deal with such philosophical questions like whether the world exists or not? Those aren't things I should be thinking about! Please, stop adding to my troubles!

Right now, I have all sorts of other problems to deal with!

I found another letter in my shoe locker today. What was it with letters in shoe lockers, anyway? Didn't anybody know how to use e-mail?

This letter felt different to the other one, though. For one thing, it wasn't just a scrap of folded paper without a name. It was in a plain white envelope, like one of those ones that they sell in 'business packs' in bookstores, and on it was written a single name.

Asahina Mitsuuru.

I shoved the envelope roughly into my bag and rushed to the girls' washroom to open it. The message was written on a plain white piece of paper, meandering a bit when it reached the end.

I'll be waiting for you in the club room during lunch break.

- Asahina Mitsuuru

After what happened yesterday, my notion of reality had changed dramatically. I never wanted to go through anything like that ever again.

And yet... there was no way I could turn this down. I couldn't imagine Asahina-senpai even thinking about doing anything improper to me, and even though I had no proof that this letter was indeed sent by him, I didn't doubt its authenticity. He seemed the sort to go through such indirect, old-fashioned means. The mental image of Asahina-senpai slowly writing every word down with great care, his face locked in concentration, made me smile. Besides, if we're meeting in the club room, then Nagato should be there as well, and he'd protect me if anything really happens.

During break, though, I began to have my doubts. What if Nagato wasn't there? What if it was’t Asahina-senpai after all? What if it's another alien like Asakura, out to murder me to 'provoke a reaction' in Haruki?

My hair was in my eyes, so I brushed it back, remembering why I kept it back in a ponytail in the first place. And as my hand touched the back of my head, I remembered why I was wearing my hair down at all.

For a moment, I felt like a ancient peasant farmer who had been dutifully stacking sod and straw, only to be surprised by a flash flood.

Just for a second, I was there again, in this very classroom. Unable to move. Hearing Asakura say: " I have always wondered what you would look like with your hair down…" Feeling the rush of air of the katana near my head, but unable to dodge. The brief tug at my hair.

And then, back in reality, something else tugged on my hair.

I was dimly aware of two things. The first was a voice saying: "What are you doing, spacing out and playing with your hair!?" The second was my hand suddenly on my bento box.

The next moment, I found myself standing upright, looking down at the desk behind mine. My heart was racing and I felt completely out of breath. Haruki was sitting there, blinking with surprise, a small trickle of blood running from his nose. My lunch was splattered all over him, and everyone else in the classroom was staring at me in shock.

W-wha? I... clocked you in the face with my lunch, Haruki? How did that happ-?

Taniguchi told me what happened later on. Why do I have to rely on such a questionable witness, though? Come on, brain, cough up the facts! What else are you hiding from me...?

At any rate, according to Taniguchi, Haruki had reached out and yanked - wasn't it just a tug? - on my hair while I was looking off into the distance. I screamed "really loudly", so Taniguchi assumed that he must've pulled too hard on my head. I didn't bother correcting her.

Some pressuring was needed to make Taniguchi reveal what it was that I had screamed, exactly. Apparently it was a simple "No". Next, she saw me "shoot" out of my chair and smack Haruki in the face with my lunchbox, "All in one movement". Come on, haven't we established that I'm not an action hero?

The next thing I remember, Okabe-sensei was dragging me to her office and I had to spend the rest of recess assuring her that I was just startled because Haruki disturbed me while I was nodding off. It was just a bad dream that I continued into wakefulness. Really!

Please don't make a bigger deal out of this than it already is, sensei! I'm going to have to apologize to that idiot, especially since they dragged him off to the guidance counselor’s office. He didn't even show up for next period, which was a mixed blessing: on the one hand, I felt embarrassed about the whole thing, but on the other hand, I was now the object of everyone's attention. Besides, his schoolbag was still there, so he hadn't been sent home.

Urgh. I felt mortified. And it all happened just because I couldn't find a tie for my damned hair.

Haruki didn't show up for the period after that, either.

When lunchtime finally rolled around, I was immediately surrounded by a gaggle of idiots, wanting to know what really happened during break. I suppose that’s better than being asked what I was doing with Nagato in the classroom yesterday.

I was surprised that Taniguchi hadn't spread the word about what she saw yesterday all over the school like the gossip she was. Maybe she wanted to get the story straight out of my mouth.

Yeah, like she'd believe the truth anyway. Seeing her coming over to me, I ducked out of the crowd surrounding me. Right now, being stabbed to death would be better than having to deal with airheaded gossips!

…Well, no, I don’t really mean that. Besides, without a lunch, there’s no real point in waiting around here.

I headed towards the clubroom.

It was only May, and already the sun was smothering us with overbearing warmth. When summer actually comes, Japan will be a natural sauna. I was already sweating just by taking a few steps.

When I arrived at the club room door, I knocked first.

"Please, come in."

The voice was unfamiliar, and I hesitated. Was that really Asahina-senpai in there? If I really strained my mind, I could make myself believe that I could hear a bit of Asahina-senpai in there, but it was too deep to be his normal voice. He sounded friendly enough, but Asakura was friendly yesterday too, just before he tried to kill me.

I steeled myself. Even if it was someone dangerous, Nagato would come and help me, right? He came last time without me calling for him. He’s dependable. He’ll save me no matter what.

I opened the door.

Nagato wasn't there.

The person sitting inside wasn't Asahina-senpai either, and I actually took a step backwards before stopping myself. He was sitting in my usual chair, leaning back, and looking up at the ceiling. He was wearing a loose white shirt and tight black business pants, plus the slippers made for school visitors. His long brown hair was tied into a ponytail down his back.

He wasn't Asahina-senpai, but he looked a lot like him. The Asahina-senpai I knew wasn't that tall, and he looked more like a cute little boy than this handsome guy in front of me now. This guy looked like he was in his twenties, and gave a completely different feel than the middle-schooler-like Asahina-senpai.

But he resembled Asahina-senpai too much to be a coincidence.

"It's been a long time, Onee-chan," the man said, grinning at me.

…Onee-chan?

I heard a whistle.

“Ah, the tea’s ready,” he said, getting up. “Sit down, make yourself comfortable.”

I hesitantly took a few steps into the room, still trying to figure out who this guy was.

“Want sugar? Or milk?” he asked, though he was putting plenty of milk in already.

It hit me. Could he be... "Are you, um, Asahina-senpai's... brother?"

He blinked in surprise, and then chuckled. His smile made him look even more like Asahina-senpai. "No, no, Onee-chan! It's me! I'm Asahina Mitsuuru, except that I come from further into the future. I've been waiting for a long time to meet you again."

I can't imagine the stupid expression on my face then. After what Asahina-senpai had told me in the park, I could accept that this person was himself from the future, and I took a few more steps into the clubroom to get a closer look at him. He had really grown handsome in the years to come, and he'd probably have a huge following of potential girlfriends, if he was still single.

"Oh, you don't believe me? Well then, I'll have to show you proof, right?" He began to unbutton his shirt.

Wait wait wait! I'm not ready for this! Aren't we moving a bit too quickly?

He revealed his chest to me without any trace of embarrassment. "Look, can you see this star-shaped birthmark? You can touch it if you want to."

There was indeed a star-shaped birthmark on that muscled chest. I shook my head slowly, feeling the heat on my face, my heart beating faster. I don't really remember if Asahina-sempai had a birthmark on his chest, even when I’d seen him changing outfits some time ago.

Wait, if this Asahina-senpai had grown so much, could it be that he had also grown in... what was I thinking? I shouldn't have such bad thoughts! Bad brain! Bad!

"Hm, that's strange," Asahina-senpai said, buttoning up his shirt again. "If you hadn't told me that I had this birthmark, I wouldn't have noticed it myself." His eyes grew wide. "Or could it be that I— t-this wasn't supposed to happen yet! We still haven't..." His flustered look made him seem just like the Asahina-senpai of this time. "Please forget what I just said!"

Easier said than done. I don't think I want to forget the sight of that chest, anyway.

…Bad brain!

"I'll believe you for now," I said. "Right now, after what happened yesterday, I'll believe anything."

The Asahina-senpai from some point in the future quickly regained his composure. "So do you really believe that I've come from the future to this temporal plane?"

"Of course. Wait, does that mean that there are now two Asahina-senpais in this time?"

"Right, Onee-chan. The me from the past is now sitting in his classroom, eating lunch with his friends."

What’s with the Onee-chan?

"Does he know that you're here?"

"No, he's from my past."

…I see.

"I had to tell you something, so I got permission from the higher-ups to let me come to this time. Also, I've asked Nagato-kun to leave us for now."

Nagato probably didn't even bat an eyelid when he saw this Asahina-senpai. "Do you know who Nagato-kun is?"

Asahina-senpai smiled. "Classified information," he said playfully. "Heh, I haven't said that in such a long time."

"Actually, I just heard you say that a few days ago."

"You're right." Asahina-senpai winked at me. Then he suddenly looked serious. "I can't stay here for too long, so I'll get right to the point. Have you heard of The Frog Prince?"

"Well, yeah."

"Whatever you'll face from now on, no matter how bad, I hope you'll remember that story."

"The Frog Prince, right? The one where the handsome prince is turned into a frog and the princess has to kiss him to change him back?"

"That's the one."

"I've already experienced something bad yesterday."

"This is worse than that. I can't tell you the details, but Suzumiya Haruki will be at your side."

Worse than yesterday? And Haruki? By my side? You mean we'll both be involved in something horrible? Did he start it?

"Suzumiya-kun won’t find anything wrong with it, but for the rest of us, it's a very complicated problem."

"You can't give me any details at all?"

"I'm sorry, I can only give you hints." Asahina-senpai looked so apologetic and serious. I could definitely imagine the younger Asahina-senpai looking like that.

"Like the story of The Frog Prince?"

"Yes."

"I'll remember it."

"Thank you." Asahina-senpai walked around the clubroom, and stopped before the clothes rack, looking at the maid outfit.

"Ah, I remember this.” He said, looking uncomfortable. “Well, I guess there’s no way I’d pass off as a girl while wearing it now, huh?”

That’s definitely true. "What sort of other stuff did Haruki make you wear?”

"I'm not telling," Asahina-senpai said shortly, but with a smile on his face. "It's really embarrassing. Though, it was kinda fun…."

He had a sort of sad, distant look in his eyes when he said that.

"So then, Onee-chan." Asahina-senpai walked towards me, and placed his hands on my shoulders. He seemed to be looking for something to say. "I'll… be going now, then."

Seeing him so hesitant, I thought that maybe I should give him a hug. However, just as I was about to embrace him, he backed off.

"I have one more request to make," Asahina-senpai said. "Please don't get too close to me." He put his hand on the doorknob.

“Ah!” He exclaimed. “That’s right. I have this to give to you.”

From his pocket, he pulled out a yellow ribbon.

Seeing my confused look, he explained. “For your hair. Looks like you need it, anyway.”

“T-thanks.” I said, grateful. I guess there’s no need go buy hair ties now.

“Oh, don’t thank me,” he smiled. “Thank yourself. You were the one who gave that to me.”

“What?”

He grinned again, reminding me a little of Haruki. “Drink your tea, it’s getting cold.”

He turned to leave.

"I-I have one more question for you!" I blurted out. Asahina-senpai stopped, and looked at me questioningly. "A-are you seeing anybody right now?”

"That," he said, putting his finger to his lips and grinning wider than ever, "is classified information."

Just like that, the door closed behind him. I couldn't have done anything even if I had tried.

Wow. I can’t even believe how good-looking Asahina-senpai became when he grew up. I suddenly thought of the first thing he said to me. ‘It's been a long time, Onee-chan.’ Obviously, it’s been quite some time since he last saw me.

The future Asahina-senpai must have returned to his distant future, and then spent a few years there, before reuniting with me on this “time plane” again.

So how long has it been for him? He’s grown a lot… maybe five years? Of course, it could be less. Some guys go through huge growth spurts after they graduate. My cousin was like that. When he was in high school, he had always been this short, weak, studious kid. Then when he entered university, he grew nearly a foot and became the object of about a hundred girls’ affections.

Because of all this, though, I’m confused as to what his real age is. Is he really 17?

…I’m hungry. I think I’ll go back to the classroom and see if I can get Kunikida to share some of her lunch with me. She always brings too much anyway.

But as I opened the door…

"..."

Standing there was Nagato Yuuki, who was wearing his usual well-preserved cold face, but as he wasn't wearing glasses today, he stared at me with a naked glare.

"Oh! Hi, Nagato-kun! Did you just see someone who looked like Asahina-senpai passing by?" I asked, half-jokingly.

"I had seen Asahina Mitsuuru's differential temporal clone already this morning."

Nagato silently sat down in his seat and then placed his book on the desk and opened it.

"He is no longer here, and has departed from this timeframe."

"Can you travel through time as well? With that Data Entity thingy?"

"I cannot. However, temporal movement is not as difficult as one would think; it is just that humans have yet to grasp its basic principles. Time is like space; moving through it is very simple."

"Then could you teach me?"

"That is a concept that cannot be conveyed in speech, so you would not understand even if I explained it."

"That so?"

"Yes."

"I guess that's too bad, huh?"

"Too bad."

It was pointless trying to talk to such a wooden person, so I decided to go back to the classroom. I hope still have time to eat something…

"Nagato-kun, thanks for yesterday."

His wooden expression moved slightly.

"There is no need to thank me. Asakura Ryou's actions were my responsibility. I was careless with my supervision."

His hair parting swung softly.

Was he trying to bow and apologize to me?

"You know, you definitely do look cooler without your glasses."

He didn't reply at all. The tea Asahina-senpai had brewed for me was still on the table, so I picked it up and had a sip.

Blech! Too much milk…

As I was rushing back to the classroom to scrounge up some lunch, I ran smack dab into Haruki. Could this be fate? It seems I've reached the point where I can see through all karma.

I remember what I did to his face during break.

"Listen, I -" I started to say, but he cut me off. Have some manners, you lout! Let a girl apologize when she feels she has to.

"Try not to space out in class," he told me in a superior tone of voice. Your nosebleed's stopped, I see. And you managed to get the egg out of your shirt. "You act even more stupid than usual when you're sleepy, it seems."

So, it seems your feelings weren't hurt, as you're still capable of spouting nonsense.

"Anyways, where did you run off to? I thought you'd be back sooner. I didn’t even eat lunch because I was waiting for you!"

Good, you can share some with me. It’s your fault I don’t have any, in any case.

"Don't just stand there like an idiot! Follow me!"

Haruki, in his usual fashion, picked me up off the ground and carried me towards the dark staircase.

Oh, no… put me down and let me go eat! I’m hungry!

"After I finally got out of the counsellor’s office, I went to ask Okabe in the staff room. The teachers only learned about Asakura transferring this morning. Early in the morning, someone claiming to be Asakura's mom called, saying they had to move due to some emergency. And you know where they're moving? Canada! How can this be possible? Why the hell would anyone move to Canada? There’s something going on here, I know it!"

"Really now?" I said, trying to fill my response to the brim with sarcasm. Of course, it’s wasted on Haruki.

"After that, I said I was a good friend of Asakura’s and wanted to ask the teachers if how could contact him."

Oh please. I don’t think you ever spoke more than a few words at a time to him when he was still around.

"And you know what the teachers said? They say they didn't know. Normally, if someone were to move, wouldn't they usually leave some sort of contact information? I’m telling you, there’s something weird going on here!"

"No, there isn't!"

Haruki just steamrolled over me as usual. "So I asked for Asakura's old address from before he moved. I'm gonna go there and have a look after school. Maybe we can find something there."

Forget it. I'm not going to stop him. In the end, the one wasting his time is Haruki, not me or anyone else.

"You're coming too."

"What!? Why!?"

Haruki puffed up his shoulders, and then, like a dragon huffing and puffing before firing its breath, he shouted at a volume the whole school could hear.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SOS BRIGADE!!!"

I retreated frantically, complying with Haruki’s unreasonable orders. I went to the clubroom to tell Nagato that neither Haruki nor I would be showing up for club activities today. I also instructed Nagato to relay the message to Asahina-senpai and Itsuko as soon as they arrived, but I didn't know if the silent alien would even say anything, so, just to be safe, I took a felt pen and wrote on the back of one of the SOS Brigade flyers.

"There are no activities today for the SOS Brigade. - Haruki".

I don’t suppose it will matter in the least to Itsuko, but at least I can save Asahina-senpai from having to wear his maid outfit.

The bell for fifth session rang as I finished writing and pasted the note to the clubroom door. Because of this, I was forced to run all the way to class.

If I said I never wanted a guy to walk me home from school like on TV dramas, I’d be lying. But now that this dream has become a reality, I’m far from happy. For obvious reasons, of course.

"Did you just say something?" Haruki asked while walking on my left side, striding with large steps, carrying a piece of notepaper. I automatically interpreted his question as ‘You got a problem?’

"Nope, nothing at all."

We walked down the hill and followed the railway line. A little bit further on would be Koyouen Station.

Just as I was thinking that we must be near Nagato’s place, we arrived there. I’d never have guessed that this was where Haruki was heading.

"Asakura seems to live in Room 505." Haruki said.

"No wonder."

"What do you mean 'no wonder'?" He glanced sideways at me.

"No, nothing. Oh yeah, how do you expect to go in? Look, even the gate is locked." I said as I pointed to the keypad by the intercom. "You need to enter the correct code to open the door. Do even you know it?"

"Nope! Fortunately, I have a plan. We might just have to wait a while, though."

Waiting? What are we waiting for? As it turned out, we didn’t end up waiting long. At that moment, a middle-aged man in a business suit opened the gate from inside, looking like he was just about to go into the office. He looked at us for a while with a questioning glance and then walked off.

Just as the gate was closing, Haruki rushed forward and put his foot in between it to stop it from opening.

Good idea, but that’s trespassing.

"Hey! Hurry up!” Haruki yelled at me and pulled my hand. Like that, I was dragged into the entrance hall. The first thing I noticed wasn't the chique decor, but the loud music. Why is someone playing foreign music so loudly in a semi-public space, and if they must play music, why Cher? Ignoring this assault to my ears, Haruki dragged me into the elevator, which had stopped at the ground floor. It’s just simple manners to stare silently at the floor numbers when riding an elevator, but…

"That Asakura..."

Simple manners are wasted on someone like Haruki.

"It’s not just this transfer that’s fishy. He didn’t attend a local junior high either."

Well, that’s to be expected, really.

"I’ve done my research, see. He supposedly transferred to North High from another town. It’s just too suspicious. North High isn't some famous school or anything, just a normal local high school. Why would he go through so much effort to come from another town just to attend our school?"

I shrugged. I’ll just let Haruki go on with his rant for now.

"Yet he lives near the school, and it's one of those apartments paid by cash and not by rent. The price here must be insanely expensive. Could he have been going from here to his junior high on the train for the past three years?”

"I told you I don't know." Why are you asking me?

"I guess we need to find out when Asakura started living here, then."

The elevator stopped at the fifth floor. We got off and found Asakura’s apartment.

Room 505.

For a few minutes, we just silently stood and looked at the door. The name board by the door had been removed, indicating this was an empty apartment.

Looking at this door brings back memories of that battle in Class 1-5. Asakura’s last words echo in my mind.

You'd better be careful, though. I’m not the only one with a dissenting opinion.

And who knows, even those who control Nagato-san might change their thinking and decide to kill you instead.

Asakura may be gone, but that doesn’t mean I’m safe. One of his friends might decide to assassinate me as I sleep. Even Nagato, who saved me…

I shivered involuntarily, which, unfortunately, Haruki noticed.

“You okay?” He asked, looking at me strangely.

I lied. “I’m fine. Don’t you feel that draft?”

“…Weirdo.” Haruki tried to turn the doorknob, but as expected, it’s locked.

Haruki stood with his arms crossed, trying to figure out how to get inside the apartment to investigate, while I tried to figure out why I was here wasting my time in the first place.

“Ah!” Haruki snapped his fingers "Let's find the caretaker!"

"I don't think she'll lend us the key."

"No, I'm thinking of asking her when Asakura started living here."

I sighed. "Just forget it, Haruki! What can we do even if we did know? Can’t we just go home?”

"No." With that short, simple answer, Haruki pulled my arm again.

We took the elevator and returned to the ground floor, and went to the caretaker's post at the entrance hall. That music was as loud as ever, and even got louder the closer we got to the post. Soon enough, I spotted a radio behind the glass, and… something weird. At first, I thought some kind of malformed sweater or stuffed pet had been left in the caretaker’s seat. When we pushed the buzzer, however, it turned out to be a freakishly high, curly black wig on top of a little old lady in a dress much too colorful for her, who slowly rose like a vengeful ghost.

It wasn’t something I wanted to see on a daily basis. I don’t know how she was keeping her job.

She blinked owlishly and scrabbled at her desk, eventually taking out a pair of butterfly glasses. Haruki then began to bombard the old woman with questions before she could even speak.

"Excuse me, we're friends of Asakura-san. He suddenly said he was moving without even leaving his new address, and we don't know how to contact him. Could we please ask if you know where he moved to? And, could we please know when Asakura-san started living here?"

I was amazed at how Haruki can actually use such normal, polite language, but the old lady seemed to be hard of hearing as well as half-blind. She kept replying with, "What?", "Come again?", and so on. Though I should say it was either that she was hard of hearing, or her attention was wandering; she was all smiles with her eyes firmly on Haruki. Hey, grandma! What’s with that twinkle in your eye?

Despite that, Haruki still managed to learn from the old lady that she too was surprised at Asakura suddenly moving out. (I didn't even see the movers come, yet all the furniture inside was gone. It still gives me the creeps.) He also learned that Asakura had moved in three years ago. (I remember the handsome young lad giving me a box of treats that day!) Also, instead of paying in installments, the apartment had been paid for in one single down payment in cash. (I guess they must be very rich!)

I’m impressed, Haruki! You could be a detective at this rate!

The old lady seemed rather pleased to be talking to a good-looking guy like Haruki.

"Come to think of it, although I've often seen that handsome young boy, I don't recall ever seeing his parents. I remember the fine young man's called Ryou. Such a nice name. I was hoping he would at least come and say goodbye... it's such a pity. I forget how many times I invited him over for tea and a chat. But y’know, you're not bad yourself!”

When the old lady began to talk about stuff like that, moving a little closer to the window to get a better look at him, Haruki determined he could no longer extract any more information from her. He bowed to the old caretaker politely and said, "Thank you very much for your help."

He then motioned for me to leave. I didn’t need any urging at all, since I was eager to get far, far away from this apartment building. I hope I would never have to come back here again.

"Hey, little lady!" the caretaker called to me only loud enough for me to hear. “That boy’s a looker,” she whispered, “he’ll grow up to be a nice man. If I was just my granddaughter’s age, I’d go for him in a heartbeat, so don’t let him get away! Tame him, and you’ll be set for life.”

The old woman was obviously senile. What I was worried about was what sort of terrible reaction Haruki, who might have overheard all that, would have. Yet he silently continued moving forward, and so I remained silent as well and followed him out of the building.

A few steps from the gates, we bumped into Nagato, carrying his schoolbag and some plastic grocery bags. For Nagato, who would usually be in the clubroom reading until the school closed, to be here at this time would mean that he had left soon after we did.

"Ah!” Haruki said, surprised. “You live here too? That’s a coincidence!”

Nagato nodded his pale white face. Please, how can this be a coincidence?

"Have you heard anything about Asakura?" Haruki asked.

Nagato shook his head.

"I see. Right, well if you hear anything about Asakura, let me know, okay?"

He nodded his head. Are those the only responses you’re capable of?

I noticed some food cans and vegetables inside his grocery bags. I guess he does need to eat after all.

Haruki had noticed one thing that was different about Nagato today. "What happened to your glasses?"

Nagato didn't directly answer the question but only silently looked at me. I panicked a bit being stared at by him like that, while Haruki, not expecting him to answer at all, simply shrugged his shoulders and walked off without looking back. I lifted my arm and waved goodbye to Nagato. As we walked past, Nagato whispered, "Be careful."

Be careful?! Of what? But as I was about to turn around and ask him, he had already vanished into his apartment building.

Geez… You’re going to make me paranoid!

I followed Haruki, who was walking aimlessly along the railway line, always remaining two to three steps behind him. Walking this way would lead me further and further from home, so I asked where we were going.

"Nowhere.” he replied dully.

“Then can I please go home now?” I asked as I looked up at the back of Haruki’s head.

At that point, Haruki stopped dead, and I walked straight into his back.

He turned and looked at me with a gloomy look, his face as pale white as Nagato’s.

"Do you ever get the feeling you're just an insignificant speck on the face of the planet?”

Without waiting for my answer, he continued. "I have, and I'll never forget it."

Haruki stood by the railway tracks and began to talk.

"When I was in sixth grade, I went with my family to see a baseball game. I wasn't really interested in baseball. But when I went there, I was shocked. Everywhere I looked there were people all around, everywhere. The people at the opposite end of the stadium looked like grains of rice, all of them in constant motion. Back then, I thought that everyone in Japan had gathered to watch that game. So, I asked my mom how many people were at the stadium. She said as it was full that day, there were about fifty thousand people.

"After the game, the roads were packed with those people. Seeing all of this, I was completely stunned. There were so many people here, yet they were only a tiny fraction of the whole country. I had read in geography class that Japan had a population of a hundred million, so I went home and did the math. I found out that fifty thousand was only one out of two thousand of the total population. I was stunned again. I was only a small part of so many people in the stadium, and that many people again were only a small part of the whole country.

"Before that day, I had always thought that I was special. I was happy with my family, and I felt that the world’s most interesting people were in my class. Slowly, I began to realize the truth. The things that I experienced in school that I had thought were the happiest, most wonderful things in the world, happened in every school. For the whole country, the whole planet, they were just everyday occurrences. The whole world around me started to lose its color. I brush my teeth and go to sleep, then wake up and have breakfast. It’s the same, day after day, after boring day.

"My life became boring when I realized everything I did was just a part of everybody’s ordinary life. Since there are so many people in this world, there has to be someone who's living an extraordinary, exciting life. Someone out there has to be fighting aliens, rescuing princesses, and slaying giants. Why couldn't that be me?

" I thought all about it before I graduated from elementary school. When I entered junior high, I decided to change myself. I'd show the whole world that I'm not someone who’s content to just sit and wait. But even after I’ve tried my best… everything is still the same. And now I'm in high school, still hoping for something to change. But, at this rate, it’s never going to. Never."

Haruki said all this without pause. When he finished, his face twisted into an expression of regretting saying so much, and just stared at the ground in silence.

A train passed rapidly by us. Thanks to the rumbling noise, I had time to consider what I should do next. Should I come up with something philosophical and inspiring? Should I say something to make him laugh?

However, as I watched the train leave behind its Doppler Effect sound, all I could muster was an “Is that so?” I feel really bad at only coming up with such a simple, useless reply. What am I supposed to do, though? Hug him?

Haruki turned around declared, “Let’s go!”

He strode back the way we came. Though I could reach home faster if I went after him, I somehow got the feeling he didn’t want me to follow. I stayed where I was and watched Haruki walk off until he disappeared from my sight.

Just what the hell have I been doing all this time?

When I came home, I found Itsuko waiting by my front door.

"Hi!" Her smile was the sort of smile you would usually use to greet an old friend, but it was still as fake as ever.

"I want to keep the promise I made to you earlier. That’s why I've been waiting for you here, but I never thought you would return so quickly!" She said heartily.

She was still wearing her uniform and carrying her bag, apparently she just left the school.

Itsuko continued with her ever-present smile. "Do you have a moment? I'd like to take you to see a certain place."

"Something to do with Suzumiya?" I asked.

Itsuko’s smile grew wider. "Something like that."

I opened my door and placed my bag in the hall. After telling my brother, who had just appeared, that I was going somewhere again tonight, (“With a guy again?” “Shut up.”) I went back outside to Itsuko.

A few minutes later, we went for a ride.

Itsuko flagged down a taxi that had stopped near my place, and we rode off along the main road, heading eastwards. Itsuko told the driver to go to a large city outside the prefecture. It’d be cheaper to go by train, but since Itsuko was the one paying, it didn’t matter to me.

"Right,” I began, “What was the promise you said you were going to keep?"

"You don’t remember? Weren’t you the one who wanted to see proof of my esper powers? Well, now’s your chance!" Itsuko said cheerfully.

"Do we really have to travel this far?"

"Yes. I can only use my powers under specific places and conditions. The place we're headed to fits those conditions."

"So, you still believe Haruki is God?"

Itsuko, sitting together with me in the back seat, glanced sideways at me. "Have you ever heard of the Anthropic Principle?"

"Nope."

Itsuko sighed and smiled again, "Basically, it's a theory that states 'If something must be true for us, as humans, to exist, then it is true simply because we exist.'"

Huh? I don't get it.

"The universe exists simply because it is there for us to observe. In other words, the intelligent lifeforms known as humans learned of the existence of the universe through observing how the universe was formed by the discovery of the laws of physics. If humans had not evolved to their present level, then observation would be impossible, and they would never learn of the existence of the universe.

“This means whether the universe exists or not, for a human who hasn't completely evolved, it wouldn't make much of a difference. It is because of the presence of us fully-evolved humans that the existence of the universe is widely accepted. This is the method of thinking from the humans' point of view."

"…That’s an stupid way of thinking. The universe exists regardless of whether humans exist or not!" I retorted.

"You're right, and that's why the Anthropic Principle is not completely scientific, just a philosophical concept. However, from this theory, something interesting comes into view."

The taxi stopped at a red light. The driver just kept staring at the road, never bothering to turn around and look at us.

"Why did the universe come to be in a state suitable for human habitation? A minor change in the gravitational constant would mean a completely different universe from the one we're in. Other sets of rules such as Planck's Constant or the mass ratio of atomic molecules seem to be designed specifically so that humans can live in this universe. Don't you find this incredible?"

My head hurts. The stuff Itsuko said sounds like one of the rhetorical flyers given out by those newly formed religions whose founding principles are based on scientific theories.

"Relax! I don't believe in the existence of an ‘Almighty God’, or the ‘Ultimate Creator’ that breathed life into the first human. And many of my companions share this sentiment. Yet, there's one thing that bothers us."

Which would be?

"Are all the things that we do as foolish as a clown doing a handstand by the edge of a cliff?"

The expression on my face right now must have been very strange, or Itsuko wouldn't have laughed as loud as she did.

"Ah-hohohoho! I was kidding, kidding!"

H-hey, you… "I really don’t know what the hell you’re talking about…"

What I really want to say is, I don't have time to play some stupid jokes with you. Can you let me off? Or driver, do you mind turning around? If possible, I'd prefer the latter.

"I was just using the Anthropic Principle as a comparison. We still haven't touched on the subject of Suzumiya-san."

This is just too weird! Why are you, Nagato and Asahina-sempai all so infatuated with Haruki?

"Well, I think that he’s very charming and charismatic, but let’s leave that aside for now. Do you still remember me saying that this world had probably been created by Suzumiya-san?"

I didn’t like what she was saying, but I did remember it having come up.

"He has the ability to realize dreams." Itsuko said.

Can you not be so conclusive for once?

"I can’t, because it’s true. Right now, this world is being guided by Suzumiya-san's wishes."

…How, exactly, is that possible? "Suzumiya-san has always believed aliens existed, which is why Nagato Yuuki appeared. Similarly, he wanted to meet time travelers, so Asahina Mitsuuru appeared as well. And I appeared before him for the same reasons as well."

Didn’t he have marriage plans in there somewhere…?

"And how do you know that?" I asked.

"It was three years ago..." Itsuko began.

Three years ago again! I'm sick of hearing that already! Why is it always three years ago?

"One day, I suddenly realized I possessed a certain power, and for some reason, I fully understood how to use this power. At the same time, I also discovered others like me had also gained certain powers, and that these powers were granted by Suzumiya Haruki. I can't go into the details. All I can say is that I know these things while not being able to explain them."

"Alright, look. Even if I believe you have these powers, I still can't believe Haruki can have the power to warp reality."

"Neither could I. A mere schoolboy having the ability to change the world -- sorry, I guess it should be more like the ability to create worlds, huh? The scary thing, though, is that this boy now finds the world he's in to be boring."

"Why is that scary?"

"Didn't I say tell you? If he can create worlds at will, then naturally he can make this world disappear without a trace and then restructure it according to his wishes. Then, in a literal sense, the world will have come to an end. We can't determine whether this theory is correct or not; who knows, the world which we believe to be unique has probably been recreated many times before already."

The number of times I have used the word “unbelievable” in the past 10 minutes only proves that I need a thesaurus.

"If that's really the case, why don't you just tell Haruki who you really are? Let him know that espers really do exist. I bet he’d be really happy to hear that.” He’d probably ask you to marry him. “Maybe then, he wouldn't want to try and destroy the world!"

"That would pose an even greater problem. If Suzumiya-san believed the existence of espers to be a very normal thing, then it would become a very normal thing. All the laws of physics would be distorted-- the Molecular Constant, the Second Law of Thermodynamics, and the rest of the universe would all descend into chaos." "There's something I don't understand." I said, "I remember you saying it was Haruki's longing to marrymeet aliens, time travelers and espers that caused you, Nagato-kun, and Asahina-sempai to appear before her?"

"Yes,” she replied.

"Well, then why hasn't Haruki noticed anything yet? Isn’t it a little strange that it’s just you and me who know everything instead?"

"You find it inconsistent? It isn’t, really-- the real inconsistency is within Suzumiya-san's heart."

…Could you say something I can understand for once, please!?

As I was about to respond with some sharp retort, the driver said suddenly, "We're here."

The car came to a stop and the door opened. I stepped into the crowded street with Itsuko. When the driver drove off without even charging any fare, I wasn't at all surprised.

If people in this area wanted to go shopping, this would be the place for them to do so. This is the typical local metropolis with the railway interchange, as well as all sorts of department stores and complex architecture. The sunset bathed the bustling street full of pedestrians a glowing orange. When the lights at the intersection ahead turned green, the road became occupied by a sea of people in an instant. We were separated for a while by this wave after we got off by the sidewalk.

"So what were you saying?" I asked, as I caught up to Itsuko.

We headed towards a nearby shopping centre as she talked. "Ah, yes, Suzumiya-san’s inconsistent heart. He does hope for the existence of aliens, time travelers, and espers. His common sense, however, is telling him that these things don't exist, and this creates cognitive dissonance. Though he may be eccentric in his actions and speech, his thinking is still no different from an ordinary person. His stormy enthusiasm has slowly calmed down in the last few months. We were glad to finally see him stabilize, but a tornado-like change has suddenly occurred."

“What change?"

"It's all because of you." As we passed through the doors of the shopping centre, Itsuko stopped walking and turned towards me. "If you hadn't given Suzumiya-san certain… funny ideas, we would still be observing him from behind the scenes right now."

"What!? What did I do!?” I had nothing to do with anything! It’s all Haruki’s fault anyways!

"It was you who encouraged him to form that weird club. All because of a conversation he had with you, he came up with the idea of forming a club to gather us all together. Therefore, you must carry full responsibility for all of this. It is because of you that the three groups most concerned with Suzumiya Haruki have now gathered in the same place."

Oh. That. “T-that’s not fair!" I still decided to defend myself unconvincingly . Itsuko only smiled and continued, "But that's not the only reason…”

“Hey,” Itsuko suddenly broke out into a grin as she caught something in the corner of her eye. “That dress…” She pointed at a flowing yellow one, up at some clothing store’s display case. “It’d look really good on you, wouldn’t it?” She turned back to me, smiling wider than ever. “Want to go and try it on?”

I put my palm against my face and sighed. “…Wasn’t there something you wanted to show me?” I asked, exasperated.

At my response, Itsuko looked a bit sheepish. “Ah, yes, that. But after we finish, we’ll come back to try it on, okay?”

“…Fine.”

As we walked towards an open area in the middle of the shopping centre, Itsuko looked at me and said, "There's still time for you to change your mind, you know. It’d probably be simpler just to go back and try on the dress."

"Shut up about the dress. I'm already here anyway, so let’s cut to the chase."

Walking beside me, Itsuko suddenly grabbed hold of my hand. Hey, what do think you're doing!?

"Sorry, but could you please close your eyes for a while? This won't take very long.”

What won’t take long? Hey! I dodged to avoid a consumer from bumping into me.

Fine, fine. I obligingly closed my eyes. I could still hear the many footsteps of the shoppers, the endless chatting, the dull roar from the cars outside, and all sorts of noises.

Under Itsuko's guidance, I walked ahead one step, two steps, three steps, and then I stopped.

"You can open them now."

I slowly opened my eyes.

The whole world fell into a shade of grey.

All the bright colors in the store windows were gone and on the neon signs advertising fifty percent off sales had turned dull grey The lights on the ceiling had gone out, stranding Itsuko and me in near-darkness.

There were no people at all.

Besides Koizumi and I, the bustling crowd of evening shoppers that was here before had now vanished without a trace. The ever-present hum of machinery that fills the background noise in cities was gone. It was so quiet that you might wonder if the Earth had stopped spinning as well.

"We're now in a gap within a cross-dimensional faultline; this is Closed Space, a place that is completely cut off from the world we live in."

Itsuko's voice became particularly clear in the silence.

"The centre of this courtyard falls right by the ‘Wall’ of this Closed Space. Look, just like that."

Itsuko's outstretched arm stopped in midair, as though blocked by something. I tried to do the same and stretched my arm towards that direction; it felt like touching cold, washed vegetables. My hands pushed through the surface of an elastic invisible wall, but I couldn’t extend any further beyond ten centimeters.

"This Closed Space has a radius of five kilometers. Usually, it's impossible to enter using normal physical means. However I have a certain ability that allows us to enter."

"Where is this place?" I asked. Wait, no, the question ought to be more like “What dimension is this?”

"I'll explain as we move along,." said Koizumi casually. “We should go outside, where you can really see the true extent of this place.”

As we headed out through the back entrance, I couldn't help but lift my head towards the sky. The glowing orange sun was nowhere to be seen, and the sky was covered by gloomy grey clouds. Were those really clouds? The flawless dark horizon stretched endlessly ahead in every direction. The only thing that stopped this world from falling completely into darkness was a weak glow in the sky that had replaced the bright sun.

This place… it’s creepy.

"I'm not too sure about the details, but this is a dimension located not far from ours... Let's put it this way, a cross-dimensional faultline just appeared right over there, and we have entered through the gap. At this moment, the outside world is still going on with its everyday life. It's nearly impossible for normal humans to stumble upon this world by accident." She continued to talk as we crossed the street, heading towards an apartment complex. "Imagine an inverted bowl-like, egg-shaped dimension, and this place is its interior."

We entered the multi-story apartment complex, but not a single person could be seen, not even a speck of dust.

"Closed Space occurs randomly. Sometimes it appears once every other day, and sometimes it appears once every several months. Yet, one thing's for sure..."

We climbed up the stairs, although it was dark inside. If I hadn't been following Itsuko closely, I would've tripped.

"Whenever Suzumiya-san is in a mentally unstable condition, this space will appear."

We arrived at the rooftop of the apartment block.

"Once Closed Space appears, I will be able to sense it. So too can my companions. How do we know, you ask?”

I didn’t ask.

“Frankly, even we don't know how. In any case, we just know when and where Closed Space will appear, and how to penetrate it. I can't describe this feeling in words."

I held the rooftop fence and looked towards the sky; no breeze could be felt.

"So you brought me here just to see this? There's not even anybody here!" Can I go home now?

"No, the real fun will begin soon. It's about to start."

Quit joking around! Itsuko, however, pretended not to notice my sour expression.

"My abilities are based around detecting Closed Space and penetrating it, but that’s not all they can do. I can even sense Suzumiya-san's state of mind. This space is a representation of Suzumiya-san's emotional state and my comrades and I are in charge of maintaining it. I guess you could say that when Suzumiya-san’s mind gets to the point where it becomes indigested, I’m the medicine sent in to cure it."

"…Your metaphors are a little hard to understand."

"People often tell me that. Anyway, are you feeling all right? I guess it’s to be expected, but you seem a bit freaked out by this place."

“It’s nothing, nothing…” It’s just that… this place reminds me a little of the space Asakura created a few days ago. Gah, I've had enough of these crazy experiences already!

Suddenly, Itsuko lifted her head and looked in the opposite direction I was facing..

"Seems like it's begun.” She said, suddenly serious. “Turn around and look behind you."

I saw it.

Standing between the tall buildings in the distance was a glowing red giant.

It was taller than a 30-story building by a head's length. Its slim, deep crimson-shaded figure seemed to contain some sort of material that allowed it to glow from within. Since it was too dark, I couldn’t see its outline clearly, and besides the eyes and mouth, which seemed to be an even darker red, its face didn't seem to have any other features.

What… what on earth is that?

The giant slowly lifted its arm and then swung it down like an axe, and the building beside it was smashed in half; then, as if in slow motion, the concrete, wires, and debris made a deafening noise falling to the ground.

Itsuko was talking again, but I could barely hear her over the destruction "We believe these to be the manifestation of Suzumiya-san's frustration. Every time his inner conflict reaches a certain limit, these giants will appear and destroy everything around them to relieve pressure. We cannot allow these things to have their way in our reality, or they'll cause widespread death and destruction. That is why this Closed Space is created, so that they can wreak their havoc inside. You understand?"

Every time the glowing red giant waved its arms, the buildings would be sliced in half and collapse. The giant would then continue forwards, stepping on the debris.

Surprisingly, I could only hear the sound of the buildings collapsing, but not the footsteps of the giant.

"According to the laws of physics, it should be impossible for a giant like him to be able to stand, due to his weight. Yet he is able to move around freely in a weightless condition. Though destroying a building involves a change in molecular structure, these rules don't seem to apply to him. Not even an army would be able to stop one of these giants."

"So… we can’t do anything?"

"No, and that is why I exist. Please look closely."

Itsuko pointed towards the giant. And I looked again to notice a few glowing blue dots that had just appeared and were flying around the giant. Compared to the large red giant, the blue dots were like sesame seeds. There were five of them in total, but because they were flying so fast, my eyes couldn't catch up with them. Like satellites, the blue dots orbited around the giant as though trying to stop the giant from moving further ahead.

"Those are my companions, who, like me, have obtained their powers from Suzumiya-san. We are warriors in charge of hunting down these giants."

The giant made a lazy swing to swat away the tiny blue pests, but they skillfully dodged the giant's attacks and swiftly changed their flight path. They came around a second time and attacked the giant's body. The giant, however, seemed to be made of gas, since the blue dots simply flew through it.

The giant, after deciding that it was too troublesome to fight, simply ignored the blue dots and their attacks and raised its arm again to smash another department store building.

No matter how the blue dots attacked, the giant didn't seem to be stopping. Blue laser-like beams now penetrated the giant's body non-stop, but since I was too far away, I couldn’t figure out the extent of damage it had sustained. One thing was for certain: the blue beams didn't create any holes in the giant's body.

"Right, I think now would be an excellent time for me to join them."

Itsuko's body started to glow blue, and a blast of force erupted from her which drove me a few steps back and caused her clothes to flutter. As she started to glow blue, Itsuko briefly turned to look at me and smiled a little strangely.

"How embarrassing, I think my skirt went up for a moment," she said with a small giggle, “You didn’t see anything, did you?”

Who would be looking up your skirt at a time like this?!

Soon, her glowing body was covered in a blue glowing sphere. Standing before me was no longer a human girl, but a large glowing ball.

This is getting ridiculous. I may need a thesaurus again at this rate.

As if making a signal, the glowing sphere started to rise and then flew straight towards the giant at an incredible speed.

Since the blue spheres never stopped flying, I couldn't figure out how many there were in total, but I don’t think there could have been more than ten, including Itsuko. They bravely flew towards the giant's body, but all they could do was fly through it. The giant was barely, if even, hurt. But just as I was thinking that, one of the blue spheres suddenly approached the giant's wrist and circled it.

The next moment, the giant's hand was sliced off. The masterless hand fell towards the ground and gave out a mosaic glow, started to become transparent, and then disintegrated like snow melting under the sun. I guess the red smoke coming out of the giant's severed wrist must have been its blood. This really is the stuff of fiction.

The blue dots seemed to have changed their attacking style of charging towards the giant. They approached the giant like a bunch of fleas surrounding a dog. The blue beams sliced through the giant's face, and its head came falling down; after that, its shoulder fell as well, followed by its upper torso, leaving behind a strange shape. The falling bits began to give out the characteristic mosaic glow, then disintegrated and vanished.

As the giant was standing in a large piece of land without any obstacles around, I was able to see the whole process from beginning to end. When the giant's upper torso fell off, its remaining body also began to disintegrate, finally dissolving into beads smaller than dust and spreading over the debris.

Once the blue dots floating above made sure their work was done, they started flying off in all directions. Most of them disappeared at once; only one flew towards me, finally landing at the rooftop of the apartment complex. The blue sphere slowly lost its glow, and finally Itsuko stood before me, flipping her hair pretentiously with her usual plastic smile.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She sounded very calm, and not exhausted at all.

"Before we go, I'd like to show you one more interesting thing."

Itsuko pointed towards the sky. I half-suspiciously raised my head, and in the gloomy grey skies, I saw it!

Right above where the giant first appeared was a crack, like that of a hatching bird trying to break through its eggshell. The crack began to spread rapidly like a spider web.

"Following the red creature's destruction, the Closed Space will also be destroyed. Believe me you won’t want to miss it.”

As Itsuko finished her explanation, the large cracks now covered the skies above, like a metallic net. The net margins started to narrow until they became as small as black curvy lines. Then, at that moment, CRACK!

Actually, I didn't really hear any sound. It was just my brain trying to simulate the sound of glass cracking. Anyway, a light penetrated from a spot in the sky, spreading out in all directions. I felt the light shower downwards. No, that's not the right word for it… it was more like the opening of the retractable roof of the Tokyo Dome stadium, all within a few seconds. The difference is that this roof covered all the buildings under it.

A loud noise started to rumble in my eardrums, and I covered my ears instinctively. It was because I had been in a world of silence for so long, the usual bustling noise in the streets and mechanical hum of white noise had seemed deafeningly loud.

The world had reverted back to its original state.

There were no collapsed buildings, no grey skies, and no glowing blue spheres flying through the air. The road was full of vehicles and people. A familiar orange glow could be seen through the gaps between the buildings. The world seemed grateful at the reception of such warmth and left long shadows behind.

The breeze blew softly.

"Well then," Itsuko said. "Shall we go back?"

Is it really okay to be this calm right now? Weren't you just in life-or-death battle?

"Of course I was," she replied, her smile faltering for only a moment before it resumed full-force. "But you must understand, I have been in these fights before."

What's with those unreadable expressions?

"I find," Itsuko said as she guided me back down the stairs, towards the shopping centre, "that though these battles need to be taken very seriously, they should not be dwelled on. When the fight is won, one should take a moment to enjoy the simple things in life. Like this one."

At this point, we were at the shop that had the yellow dress... Itsuko, predictably, made me try it on and despite my protests, it did look good, so I bought it. I might've thanked her if she hadn't been so persistent about me trying it on, even if she was right.

"Now do you understand, though?" Itsuko asked me as we boarded a taxi, which seemed to magically stop before us after we left the shopping centre. When I looked, I realized it was the same driver as before.

"I don't get it at all." I answered truthfully.

"I knew you'd say that, hoho." Itsuko laughed. "Those red giants, we call them Celestials, but, as I've told you already, they are greatly related to Suzumiya-san's mental condition. We're the same, of course. Once Closed Space appears, once the Celestials begin their movement, we're able to use our powers. We can only use those powers within Closed Space; right now, I’m totally powerless."

I silently glanced at the driver's back. All that is related to Haruki’s mental state? What is he, a teenage girl?

"I don't know why it's just us who have these powers, but I don’t think it has anything to do with our identities. It's like winning the lottery: even though the chances may be low, there's bound to be someone who wins. I just happened to be the one to be stabbed by the random spear. Ah, how unlucky I am!" Itsuko smiled forcefully. I remained silent because I didn't know what I should have said. Unlucky? Who are you to say that?

"We cannot allow the Celestials to move freely. Why is that, you ask? Because the more damage these Celestials cause, the larger the sphere of the Closed Space becomes. The one you just saw was one of the smaller ones. If we leave them unattended, it will continue to grow until it covers the whole country, even the whole world, and finally, that alternate grey world will completely replace the world we're living in."

I finally opened my mouth. "How come you know so much?"

"I told you, I just know, it can't be explained. All the espers associated with The Organization are the same. One day they just suddenly knew everything about Suzumiya-san and how he could affect this world, as well as realizing that since they now had supernatural powers, they couldn't just allow Closed Space to continue expanding untouched. When normal people learn about something like this, they’d normally want to see if they could be of any help, right? If we hadn't done anything about it, the world as we know it would have been destroyed. And that, of course, would be a bad thing."

Itsuko fell silent after mumbling those last words.

For the rest of the journey, we just looked in opposite directions, watching the scenery pass by.

The car stopped in front of my house, and as I got out, Itsuko spoke again.

"Please pay attention to Suzumiya-san's actions. His supposedly stable mental state has now begun to show signs of rapid deterioration. It's been quite a while since something like this has happened."

Look, even if I was to pay more attention to him, what difference can I possibly make?

"Honestly, I have no idea. But I think you are the right person to entrust this matter to. Some of my colleagues tend to overthink matters ... or not think enough."

Before I could reply, Itsuko drew her head back inside the open car and closed the door.

I stood there for a moment, watching what I was now sure was Itsuko's - or rather her Organisation's - private taxi disappear into the distance. As I watched the legendary phantom taxi drive off into the distance, I began feeling rather like an idiot, and went inside.

My little brother was waiting at the door, looking disappointed. What? Did you think you were going to score even more free candy by blackmailing your big sister? What kind of a heartless individual is our father raising here?

"Shut up!" he pouted. "Anyway, you have no right to call me heartless, I do lots of nice things around the house. I wake you up every morning, so you don't arrive late at school."

Having said so, the miniature wrestling fanatic who practises his combat moves on me in the mornings to wake me up ran off into the living room.

I need a shower ...

An artificial human who claims to be created by aliens, a boy who traveled from the future, and a magical esper girl have all shown me proof of their identities in order to gain my trust. They revolve around Haruki for three different reasons. Honestly, it's not too bad at all. No, wait, it is bad. Because I still can't understand one thing.

Why me?

Itsuko said that the reason aliens, time travelers, and espers all gather around Haruki is because he wished for it.

Then what about me?

Why am I involved in all of this? I'm just a normal human being. One hundred percent normal. I don't have any sudden memories of a strange past life, or any unspeakable powers. Just an extremely normal high school girl!

Who the hell wrote the script for this story anyway?

Or has someone drugged me and caused me to hallucinate all of this? Or have I been struck by a toxic electric wave? Who the hell got me stuck in all this?

Could it be… Haruki?

…Just kidding.

I don't really know anything.

But why am I so troubled? It seems like all the answers rest with Haruki. He should be the one worrying, not me. Why do I have to be frustrated for him as well? This doesn't make sense! I've decided that it doesn’t make sense! If things are as Nagato, Itsuko and Asahina-sempai say, then you guys should just tell Haruki himself! Whatever becomes of the world then, that's his responsibility; I have absolutely nothing to do with it!

Just put him on your merry-go-round! Leave me out of this!

As the days counted down to summer, I walked slowly up the slope, wiping my sweat with my sleeve and wishing, as per the usual, that I could take a cold shower when I got to school.

If it was already this hot in the morning, it’d be hellish by noon.

Then as I was walking up Mt. Elbrus with gritted teeth, someone put their arm around me. I immediately yelled "Don't touch me! It's too damn hot!" and turned around, Taniguchi's cheerful face came into view.

"Yo!" Taniguchi, walking side by side with me now, was also sweating.

"It’s so annoying! This sweat is just ruining my hairdo," she said, though she still looked cheerful. Now that’s annoying.

"Say, Taniguchi," I cut in as Taniguchi went on babbling nonsensically about her dog, "I'm a normal high school girl, right?"

"What?" Taniguchi gave a laugh as though she'd heard a very funny joke. "Give me your definition of ‘normal’. This conversation won’t make any sense otherwise."

"That so?" I already regretted asking her that question.

"Just kidding! You, normal? HA! You think a normal high school girl would let a guy push her down in an empty classroom?"

Of course not. That’s something you’d do.

It looked like she wasn’t going to forget that anytime soon, however.

"Don’t worry! Your secret is safe with me! He is cute, so I understand,” she continued.

I’m going to hear about this for the rest of my life if I don’t do something soon.

"By my rating, Nagato Yuuki is an A-minus!”

…An A-minus, huh… interesting.

Dammit, what am I thinking about?

"Look, you’re misunderstanding. What happened was because…”

Right now, Taniguchi must be thinking something really perverted. In order to counteract this, I decided to use the following explanation”

Poor Nagato-kun is the victim of Haruki's unreasonable occupation of the Literature Club room. He was very troubled at not being able to hold activities for his own club, so he decided to come to me for help. He asked me if I could help make Haruki give up the Literature Club room and go somewhere else. Moved by his clear sincerity, I decided to help out the poor guy, and discussed it with him in a place where Haruki wouldn't find out about it. As we talked about what to do in the classroom after Haruki had left, Nagato fainted as a result of his chronic anaemia. I tried to catch him before he fell to the floor, but he was too big for me and so he ended up on top of me. That was when you came barging in. Indeed, now that you know the truth, it sounds perfectly innocent, right?

"Liar!" She even slapped me in between my shoulder blades after saying that.

Bah… it took me ages to come up with such a perfect cover story! I can't believe I couldn't fool her!

"Look, let’s say I believe those lies; I still don't think you're normal. If the unsociable Nagato Yuuki came to you for help, that's really something."

Is Nagato really that famous?

"Besides, you're a slave of Suzumiya. If that makes you a normal high school girl, then I'm as normal as a water flea."

If we’re going to talk about your normalness… "Taniguchi, tell me honestly, do you have any super magical powers?"

"W-wha-?" The already foolish look on her face went up a notch.

"I see,” she said, looking down “so even you aren't immune to Suzumiya's poison... Even though we don't hang out a lot, you really are nice. So please, try not to stick too close to me; I don't want to be infected with the Suzumiya Virus as well."

I glared at Taniguchi while she started to laugh uncontrollably.

…If this girl's an esper, then from today onward, I'm the Empress of Japan.

“Oh, that reminds me, Taniguchi,” I said suddenly. “Give me your phone’s SD card.”

“Huh?” She looked confused.

“I noticed you snapped a photo of Nagato and me while we were in the clubroom.”

“But I told you,” Taniguchi argued. “I’d never--”

“Give it here.”

After grumbling for a bit, Taniguchi ejected the card from her phone and handed it over to me. Even though I doubt she’d spread the photo around the school, I don’t feel safe with it in someone else’s possession.

…Besides, it’s my memory, and I want to keep it somewhere safe.

We reached the stairs leading to the school entrance. I was even sort of grateful to Taniguchi, as the weather had sort of cooled down after my conversation with her. Must be all the hot air she uses talking.

In hot weather like this, even Haruki could only lie exhausted on his desk, looking at the hills in the distance, full of melancholy.

"Kyon, I'm hot!" he whined.

Really? So am I.

"Fan me with your book."

"Instead of fanning someone else, I'd rather fan myself. I don't have enough energy early in the morning to fan you. Besides, since when am I your slave, anyway?"

Since I joined the SOS Brigade?

Haruki, unresponsive, remained laying lazily on the desk, lacking his usual pompous energy.

"What do you think Mitsuuru-kun should wear next?" he asked all of a sudden.

Well, after the Chippendale and the maid outfit would be... Hey, wait a minute, there's going to be another costume!?

"Should it be a catboy? Or maybe I should upgrade him to a butler? Maybe I should have him cosplay as Hard Gay…?"

Images of Ashaina-senpai blushing furiously as his small wriggling body is forced into all sorts of costumes flashed through my mind. He’s just too cute!

Haruki, guessing what I was thinking, scowled at me. "You look stupid," he decided, flipping his hair out of his face.

Hey, weren't you the one bringing up the subject? I guess he’s right, though, so I won’t argue with him -- out loud.

While fanning the neck of his uniform with a textbook, Haruki blurted out, "I'm so bored," his mouth perfectly like a heno-ji. He looked like a character from a manga.

After school, as always, I headed towards the clubroom. Haruki was on duty this week, so my walk there was free of his depressing atmosphere. As usual, I knocked first and waited for a reply before entering. Immediately a cute maid greeted me with the brightest of smiles, like a sunflower greeting the sun. Ah, I feel so warm!

Nagato sat by the table reading a book, as cold and pure as the first snowfall of the year.

Ugh, what kind of comparisons am I making?

"I'll go and make tea." Putting on his headband, Asahina-senpai went to the side of the rusty table and carefully placed the tea leaves into the teapot.

I sat in the commander's seat, watching Asahina-senpai busying himself, when I suddenly remembered the SD card in my skirt pocket.

Thinking that I’d add the picture to my collection of photos from the other day, I turned on the computer and waited for the hard disk to boot up. Once the screen appeared, I opened up the folder labeled “MITSUURU” and entered my password. As expected, the processing speed was unbelievable on the Computer Club's new model. In an instant, pictures of Asahina-senpai's maid costume images appeared on the screen.

After I made sure Asahina-senpai was busy brewing tea, I plugged the SD card into the slot on the front of the computer and transferred Taniguchi’s picture to the MITSUURU folder.

Looking at the picture of Nagato and me… if that was shown to anyone ignorant of the situation, they’d definitely misunderstand.

It was at that moment that I remembered what the older Asahina-senpai had said to me in the clubroom yesterday. I clicked on one of Asahina-senpai’s photos, and enlarged it again and again.

It was from the time Asahina-senpai was being forced into weird poses by Haruki. His bare chest could be just seen, and there it was, a little black mark. I highlighted that mark and enlarged it further; the image was a bit fuzzy, but sure enough, there was a star-shaped birthmark.

"So that's it." I said to myself

"Did you find something?" Before Asahina-senpai placed the teacup on the desk, I swiftly closed all the image files. By the time Asahina-senpai stood by my side, he’d find nothing on the screen.

"Huh, what's this? What's inside this "MITSUURU" folder?"

Dammit! Why did I have to go and give that folder such a stupid name?

"Why does that folder have my name? What's inside it? Let me see, c'mon! Let me see!"

I jumped out of the commander’s chair. "Aggh, um, what's inside... I wonder? Probably nothing… In fact there’s definitely nothing!"

"Reeaally?" Asahina-senpai cheerfully plopped himself down in the commander’s chair and moved the cursor towards the folder’s icon. Like I’d let that happen! I dived forward, trying to grab the mouse from him, but he pulled away easily and I only ended up reaching over his shoulder.

"Asahina-senpai, can you please just let go?"

"C'mon, just a peek!" Asahina-senpai, who seemed to be enjoying himself, continued to fight with me for control of the mouse. I felt the situation was going from bad to worse.

At that moment, a hand reached from behind me and snatched up the mouse.

"What are you two doing?"

We were frozen by a voice colder than absolute zero. Haruki, standing before us, looked down on us as though he had just witnessed his dad assaulting an innocent girl.

How long has he been here?

I slowly got off of Asahina-senpai who, at the moment, was still frozen in shock.

“So, Mitsuuru-kun,” Haruki said quietly. “I see you have managed to become more bold. Good. Congratulations. You’ve leveled up.”

What?

“Now get out of my chair.”

At this command, the stunned Asahina-senpai began to move. He got out of the chair, retreated slowly, and then slowly sat down at the table like an ASIMO robot whose batteries were nearly dead. His pale face looked close to tears.

Haruki made a "humph" noise, and plopped himself down in front of the computer. I managed to breathe a sigh of relief, until…

“Huh? What’s this folder?”

Not again…

“Haruki, wait, that’s…” I tried to stop him, but too late, he clicked on it.

“Password?” Haruki raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Obviously it’s Kyon’s brother’s name, right?”

I feel like such an idiot.

Upon viewing the lewd photos of Asahina-senpai inside, Haruki glanced at me. “I thought these photos were deleted…?”

He continued to scroll down through the photos, eventually getting to the photos of me in the bunny outfit. He gave me an icy smile.

“Heh. I guess this means you enjoyed wearing it? Maybe I should make it a rule that you should wear this in the clubroom from now on?”

“Yeah, sure, why not? Now how about you close that folder so I can—"

Too late, Haruki had seen the final image, the one that Taniguchi had snapped two days ago.

He froze. After a couple seconds, he got up out of the chair and turned towards me. "So, you're interested in serious bookish guys, huh?"

"What are you trying to say?" I responded, my eyes cast to the side.

Haruki plowed on unflinchingly, watching me react. “When was this taken?”

“T-two… two days ago…”

Haruki stared at me for a few seconds. “That was when you started wearing your hair differently. Did he tell you that it looks better on you that way?” He pointed angrily at Nagato, who was finally looking up from his book. “Because that’s—"

“Shut up, you moron!” I shouted suddenly. “Don’t misunderstand!”

This guy doesn’t know all crap that I’ve been through because of him! Of course not, since he’s too busy chasing time travelers and aliens! Well, Haruki, hurry up and realize that you’re pointing at one right now, you giant idiot!

Of course, Haruki couldn’t hear the thoughts going on through my head as much as he would’ve liked to and only looked at the ground. “So that’s how it is, huh….” His head snapped back up to face me, teeth bared. “Listen, you’re forbidden from doing anything like that ever again! This is your chief ordering you! I don’t want you to even so much as talk to him, understand?!”

“Shut up! You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Sure I can, I just—"

“Asshole! Stop acting like you’re special! You’re just an ordinary human being like everyone else, you can’t go making up rules however you feel like!”

<“You get NOTHING!” Lol, Bliss, ever watch Charlie and the Chocolate factory?

Haruki glared at me with wide eyes, biting his lip. Then, slowly, he stepped forward, his hands clenched into fists and without even realizing it, I took a step back. He took another step and this time I cringed, squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for him to strike. He never did. Haruki breezed by me, grabbed his schoolbag, and stormed out of the clubroom, slamming the door behind him.

I might have gone a bit too far myself there, but Haruki who didn’t understand anything, deserved it. Asahina-senpai, staring at the table, avoided looking at me. Nagato simply continued to read his book as if nothing happened.

At that moment, the door opened.

"Did I just see Suzumiya-san run down the hallway?”

Itsuko, who had just arrived, greeted everyone with her smile.

Since no one else was going to answer, I did. “He wasn’t feeling well. He decided to go home.” I said, still a little out of breath.

“Are you sure?” she said. “It looked more like he had just had a fight with somebody.”

“…”

I looked up at Itsuko, whose smile hadn’t wavered, and said finally, "Wanna play Othello?"

"Sure, I haven't played in quite a while." Itsuko, who took my non-sequitur in stride, sat down.

As black and white fought for control of the board, (I never thought that Itsuko, who could turn into a glowing sphere, would be so lousy at board games) Asahina-senpai got up and muttered something about making tea, while Nagato, of course, continued to indulge himself with his book.

I’m confused as to why we’re still here. That's right, that day we conducted our SOS Brigade activities peacefully. Nothing associated with aliens from a different dimension, time travelers from the future, red giants, or blue glowing spheres happened at that time. No one wanted to do anything special, nor did anyone know what he or she should have been doing. We just allowed ourselves to ride on the flow of time, living our high school life idly. Everything seemed perfectly normal.

Even though I was dissatisfied with such a normal life, I'd always tell myself, "Why think so much? You've got so much time." And then I would once again look forward to the next day.

Even with the fight today, I cheered up a bit. I came aimlessly to this clubroom and watched Asahina-senpai work busily like a maid, Nagato sit like a Buddha statue, Itsuko with her bright smile, and Haruki with his energy and mood swings. All these things gave off an aura of complete normality, yet all these had become part of my surprisingly satisfying high school life. Though I've had the out-of-reality experiences of a classmate trying to murder me and seeing fierce monsters appearing in a grey world, at this moment they seem more like a dream than something that really happened.

I was still angry at Haruki for trying to boss me around, but I did have to thank him for letting me meet such interesting people. Although I can’t really appreciate the other more outrageous things… Putting aside the question of "Why me?” maybe someday there'd be normal humans like me who want to join this club.

But in the end, there’s no predicting him because only one person in the world can control Suzumiya Haruki.

And that someone is Suzumiya Haruki himself.

That night, after eating dinner, having a bath and finishing my homework for tomorrow's English lesson, I decided it was time to go to sleep. I lay on my bed and opened the thick hardback book Nagato had stuffed into my arms. I thought a quick read wouldn't hurt, so I casually went over the first few pages. The story was surprisingly interesting, so I kept reading page after page. You really have to read through one to understand how enjoyable a book can be. Maybe I should read a bit more often?

Of course, it's impossible to finish such a thick book in one night, so I put down the book after reading a very long monologue by one of the protagonists. I began to get sleepy, and after placing the bookmark with Nagato's handwriting into the book, I switched off the lights and crept underneath my blanket. In a few minutes, I was in dreamland.

Do you know why humans have dreams? Sleeping is divided into Rapid Eye Movement (REM) and Non Rapid Eye Movement (NREM), and they go in periodic cycles. NREM occurs for the first few hours after a person falls asleep, the brain enters a stasis-like state during this stage. The stage in which the body is unconscious, while the brain becomes slightly active is known as REM, and dreams will occur in this stage. By morning, REM will have increased in frequency, meaning almost everyone will dream until they wake up. I dream every night, but as I usually wake up late in the mornings, I'm in such a hurry to go to school that I usually forget what I've dreamed. Yet, sometimes, I'll suddenly remember a long forgotten dream I had years ago. It's really amazing how a human's memories are structured.

Alright, enough technical stuff. I don’t really give a damn anyway.

I felt someone shaking me. Go away! I'm tired! Don't disturb my dreams!

"…Kyon."

The alarm clock hadn't even rung yet. Even if it had, I would have turned it off at once, and it was still quite a while before dad would send my brother in to drag me out of bed.

"Wake up already."

No… I want to sleep some more… Every minute of rest is precious.

"Oi! I said wake up! Can't you hear me?"

The hands on my shoulders were now shaking me until the back of my head banged against the hard floor and my eyes snapped open, already watering with pain.

Hard floor?

I sat upright, confused. Haruki looked down on me and backed off to avoid bumping our heads together.

"Sorry, had to wake you."

Kneeling beside me was Haruki in his school uniform. His white face displayed an expression of anxiety.

"Do you know where this is?"

Of course I do; we're at North High, the school we go to, and right now we're at the staircase in front of the shoe lockers by the school entrance. There were no lights on, and the school at night appeared grey before us…

No, wait. Something's wrong.

There was no night sky above.

Just a monotonous grey horizon. There was neither the moon nor stars, not even a single cloud. Only a grey sky like a concrete ceiling.

A world covered in silence and darkness.

This is Closed Space.

I slowly got up. To my amazement, I was not wearing my pajamas, but my sailor uniform. To my further amazement, I was wearing the ponytail I had lost 2 days ago.

"When I woke up, I found myself here, and you by my side. What's going on here? Why are we at school?" Haruki asked, his voice abnormally quiet.

I didn't answer him at first, instead trying to determine whether this was a dream or not. From the pain of pinching the back of my hand, to the feel of my uniform on my body, it definitely felt like reality. I pulled two of my hairs out and winced. I probably shouldn’t have gone that far.

"Haruki, are we the only ones here?" I asked.

"Yeah… last I remember, I was asleep in my bed and then suddenly...” Haruki looked up, “Where is this? The sky looks so strange..."

"Have you seen Itsuko?"

"Koizumi-san? No… why'd you mention her?"

"No reason, just curious."

If this Space was created by a ‘quake in the dimensional faultline’ or by Haruki himself, those glowing giants ought to show up and destroy everything, and Itsuko and the other espers are the only ones who can stop them. But if they’re not here…

"Anyway, let's escape from the school!” I said, walking forward. “Maybe we'll run into someone."

Haruki followed me. "Hey, how come you don't look worried at all?"

I am most certainly worried! I’m just not going to show it in front of you. What bothers me the most, though, is that you're here as well. Isn't this a playground for your giants? Or am I being oversensitive and just dreaming all of this? All alone with Haruki in an empty world… Freud would have no trouble analyzing this!

I remained at a distance from Haruki as we walked towards the school entrance, when an invisible wall suddenly stopped us in our tracks. I still remember the elastic feel of this wall. It could be pushed inwards a bit, but soon after, another harder wall would block any attempts to penetrate further.

"…What’s this?" Haruki reached out with his arms and tried to push the invisible wall to no avail.

“Like cold washed vegetables…” he muttered.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

I walked along the track field and traced the wall. It seems that we're trapped inside the school.

"It doesn’t look like there’s a way out of the school." I couldn't feel any breeze. It was as though even the air had stopped flowing.

"Let's try the back entrance!"

"I have a better idea,” I said. “Let's look for a phone. I didn't bring my cell phone to bed with me tonight.”

I don’t know how long it’ll take for the giants to come out, but I don’t want to be here when they do. Although, if this was the Closed Space that Itsuko told me about, then finding a phone would be useless. Even so, we still decided to go inside the school to look around. There should be a phone in the staff room.

The school looked eerie in the dark with all the lights off. We passed by the shoe lockers and silently entered the school building. Along the way, we turned on the lights for the first floor, and the ceiling lamps lit up at once. Even though they were cold, artificial lights, they were enough to elicit a sigh of relief from both Haruki and me.

After making sure there was no one in the classrooms on the first floor, we headed to the staff room. Of course, the door was locked, so Haruki picked up a nearby fire extinguisher, smashed the window open, and entered through there.

"...Doesn't seem to work." Haruki held the phone up to his ear, but apparently couldn’t hear anything. He tried dialing some numbers, but nothing happened.

We left the staff room and went up the stairs, turning on all the lights along the way. Haruki had suggested we return to our classroom, since the Class 1-5’s room was located at the top floor. Maybe we could figure out something by looking down from above?

Twice, the sound of the building settling startled me, and I grabbed Haruki’s sleeve on reflex each time.

After I did this the second time, Haruki glanced sideways at me. “If you're that scared, then grab onto my arm. It looks more natural that way.”

“Idiot." I said, but I didn’t let go of his jacket.

There was no change in our classroom; it was exactly like we'd left it after school.

"Kyon, come look..."

Haruki went quiet after looking out the windows. I walked to his side and looked down at the situation.

All around was a deep grey world. Looking down from the fourth floor at the top of the hill, I could even see the horizon beyond the shore. It was darkness within the panoramic view, not a single light was on and not a soul to be seen.

"What is this place…?” Haruki asked. “It’s like the end of the world…”

It wasn't everyone else that had disappeared, but rather, the two of us who had appeared here. It seems that we had stumbled into Closed Space by accident.

"This is weird." Haruki murmured, crossing his arms.

Since we didn't know where else to go, we returned to the clubroom where we usually spent our afternoons. As I'd already stolen the keys from the staff room, we were able to unlock the door and enter.

Both of us breathed a sigh of relief at returning to the familiar, well-lit room.

We turned on the radio, but couldn't even hear static. The clubroom was so quiet that only the sound of me pouring tea could be heard. I couldn’t take the time to change tea leaves, so I brewed the tea with thoroughly overused and tasteless ones. Haruki stood beside me blankly gazing at the grey world outside.

"You want some tea?" I asked.

"No." Haruki didn’t even look at me, just continued to stare out the window.

I took my teacup, pulled out a chair, and sat down. I took a sip. Sigh… Asahina-senpai’s tea is so much better than mine. I wonder where he got such talent…

"Just what is going on here!? I don't get it! What is this place? Why am I here?" Haruki stood by the window and faced outside; he looked very troubled. "And why am I stuck here with you…?"

I scowled. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Haruki scowled right back at my response. "I'm going to go look around." He said and proceeded to leave the room. I stood up as well, but he turned to me…

"You stay here, it’s safer. I'll be right back." After saying that, he dashed from the room. Just like him to do something like that!

While hearing Haruki’s energetic footsteps disappearing and sipping my tasteless warm tea, that thing appeared.

It was a small glowing blue sphere. At first it was the size of a table tennis ball, then slowly the sphere grew larger, shining like a firefly before finally taking on a humanoid shape.

"Itsuko, is that you?"

Before me was a glowing humanoid, but I could not see Itsuko's appearance clearly, just her bare outline.

"Hi!" A relaxed feminine voice came from within the glowing object.

"It took you long enough! I thought you’d appear in your human form…"

"It’s a bit more complicated than that. I'll be honest: this isn’t normal." The blue light flickered a bit. "If this were normal Closed Space, I could have gotten inside easily, but not this time. I can only appear in this incomplete form and that’s only with the help of my companions. I can’t even stay with you for very long. Our powers are disappearing slowly, even as we speak."

"Just what's going on? Is it just me and Haruki here?"

"Yes," Itsuko answered. "We’ve all been afraid that this would happen sooner or later and now it finally has. Suzumiya-san has grown tired of this reality and has decided to create a new one."

There was no way to respond.

"Our superiors are in a total panic. Who knows what the world will become when its God has disappeared. Though it's possible the world will survive as long as Suzumiya-san decides to have mercy upon it, it is also possible that it'll vanish in an instant."

"What are you trying to say…?" I don’t want to believe this.

"Simply put," the blue light was now flickering like a flame, "You and Suzumiya-san have disappeared from our world. This world is not Closed Space but rather a brand new world created by Suzumiya-san. The Closed Space we've seen before was probably just practice for this moment."

You know, that’s a really funny joke, but I don't know how to laugh right now. Ha. Ha. Ha.

"I’m not joking. This world is probably the closest to the world that Suzumiya-san desires. We're still not sure what kind of world that is, but we should have an answer to that soon."

"Look, let’s move on. The real problem is, why am I here?"

"You haven’t realized it yet? Suzumiya-san has chosen you. You are the only person that Suzumiya-san truly wants to be with. It’s really too obvious. " The light around Itsuko now glimmered like a torch running out of batteries. "I'm close to my limit now. At this rate, I'll never be able to see you again; on the other hand though, I'm kind of relieved since I no longer have to go hunting for those Celestials anymore."

"So I’m just supposed to live alone with Haruki in this grey world!?"

"Well, I guess you’re kind of like Adam and Eve. Just work hard on re-populating the world and it'll be fine! Don’t worry, I hear childbirth gets easier after you’ve had your first one."

"… If I get out of this, I’m going to hurt you."

"It’s just a joke! A joke! Right now this closed state is only temporary, but very soon it'll probably become similar to the world you know. Yet this world will be completely different from the world we're from. In fact, this world could be considered the real world, while the original world should be considered Closed Space. As for what differences there are between these two worlds, unfortunately, we don’t know yet. If I'm fortunate enough to be reborn in the new world, I’ll be counting on you to show me around."

At this moment, Itsuko the glowing humanoid object began to slowly disintegrate and then, like a star running out of fuel, now shrank to its original table tennis ball size.

"So there’s no way back to the original world?"

"If Suzumiya-san wishes it, it might be possible. It’s a pity that it’s come to this. I’ve only known you for a month, but I’ve really enjoyed my time with the SOS Brigade… Ah, right, I nearly forgot. I have to relay both Asahina Mitsuuru’s and Nagato Yuuki's messages to you."

Before Itsuko disappeared completely, she left this message: "Asahina Mitsuuru asked me to apologize in his place: he said, 'I'm sorry, it's all my fault.' Also, Nagato Yuuki tells you to 'Remember to turn on the computer.'"

After the message, she vanished like a candle flame blown out by the wind.

I don't know why Asahina-senpai had to apologize to me. Had Asahina-senpai done something wrong to me? But I decided not to think about that now.

Instead, I followed Nagato's request and switched on the computer. After the hard disk makes a beeping sound, the OS trademark should appear on the screen… That's strange, why is nothing showing up? The OS screen, which was supposed to appear after a few seconds, didn't appear; the screen was pitch black with only a white typing cursor flashing in the upper left corner of the screen. Then, the cursor started moving silently, and a line of cold words appeared.

YUUKI.N > Can you read this?

I was stunned for a moment, and then I pulled the keyboard closer and started typing.

'Yes.'

YUUKI.N > I have not completely lost contact with the world you are in. But that is only a matter of time, since the disconnection should occur very soon. If that is true, this will be our final conversation.

'What should I do?'

YUUKI.N > I do not know. The abnormal data spurt has disappeared completely on this side. The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is very disappointed with this, because they will lose the possibility to evolve.

'What do you mean by the possibility to evolve? Just how is Haruki evolving?'

YUUKI.N > Being highly sentient means being able to process data quickly and accurately. Sentient organic life forms are limited by the excessive inaccurate and mixed-up data streams caused by their physical bodies, and are unable to process data quickly and accurately. So after evolving to a certain stage, organic life forms will cease to evolve.

'Is it possible to evolve even without a physical body?'

YUUKI.N > The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is created purely from data. They too had believed that their ability to process data would increase infinitely until the universe overheated itself. But they were wrong. As with the universe having an edge, their evolution also has a limit, at least for sentient entities relying on data to survive.

'What about Suzumiya?'

YUUKI.N > Suzumiya Haruki possesses the ability to create massive amounts of data out of nothing. That is the ability that the Integrated Data Sentient Entity does not have. He can release data that could never be processed by a human, a mere organic life form, in its lifetime. The Integrated Data Sentient Entity believes if this data-creating ability is analyzed, then they will be able to find clues to how to auto-evolve.

The cursor flashed momentarily. Perhaps Nagato was hesitating on what words to use. The next second, the words flowed like water.

YUUKI.N > I'm betting everything on you.

'Betting on me for what?'

YUUKI.N > I hope that you can both return to this world. Suzumiya Haruki is an important observation target, an important treasure that might only appear once in this universe. Besides that, I also wish for you to return.

The color of the words began to fade as the electricity supply got weaker. The cursor continued to type out words.

YUUKI.N > Let us go to the library again next time.

The screen grew darker; I tried adjusting the brightness of the display, to no avail. Just before everything disappeared, Nagato typed out three more words:

YUUKI.N> the snow queen

The sudden sound of the hard disk whirring loudly made me jump in my seat. The access lights on the CPU flickered, and the familiar OS logo appeared. The sound of the computer fan was the only thing that could be heard in this silent world.

I tried to make sense of that final message. What had Nagato meant? Maybe he was talking about Yuki-onna... but that didn't seem to be right. I don't know how Nagato knew about it, but when I was little, the fairy tale of the Snow Queen was one of my favourite stories. The tale of the brave little girl going out in search of her one true love, overcoming every trial the world sent at her, until she was finally reunited with him in the palace of the Snow Queen, all of it made me imagine that someday I could have an adventure like that. And when it was all over, I could live happily ever after, together with my true love.

And so on and so on, I forgot how exactly it had ended, but wasn’t really the problem here.

"What should I do? Nagato! Itsuko! Someone answer me!"

I sighed deeply and turned my head despondently towards the window.

A deep red light shone in from outside.

A glowing giant now stood in the school courtyard. It was so close that it looked like a huge red wall.

Haruki burst into the room. "Kyon! Something's appeared!"

Haruki hurriedly squeezed beside me to stick his head out the window, mouth agape. "What is that? It's huge! Is it a monster? It doesn't seem like an illusion." He was beaming with excitement. His depressed anxiety from a while ago had disappeared. Right now, his eyes glimmered with enthusiasm. Unlike me, he wasn’t afraid at all.

"Is it an alien? Or it maybe it’s a super-weapon created by the ancients, waking up from its long slumber? Is that thing the reason we can't escape from school?"

The blue wall moved. The giant smashed the school building with ease, but I was too struck with terror to move.

A tremor ran through the building suddenly and Haruki pushed me down to the floor. Just as the ceiling cracked and bits and piece of debris rained down, Haruki shielded me with his body.

I could hear the giant still swinging and stomping. From this I knew the giant's target was not the clubs complex but rather the school complex opposite.

“…T-thanks. You okay?” I asked Haruki.

Haruki coughed and grinned. “Heh, this is nothing.” As he got up, plaster dust and chunks of roof slid off his back. “Put your arms around my neck.”

“Huh?”

“We need to get out of the building. Put your arms around my neck so I can carry you out of here!” Haruki said, already reaching underneath me with his arms.

“Hey, wait!”

Too late, I was already in his grasp. Reluctantly, I reached up and put my arms around Haruki, who picked me up and dashed out of the clubroom.

With the speed of someone who would have been the ace of the track team, Haruki ran towards the staircase. Every moment punctuated by steel and concrete being torn apart as the giant continued its rampage.

Being where I was, I could feel Haruki’s heart pounding against his chest, almost beating into me.

After crossing the courtyard, we headed past the slope and towards the track field. At this moment I took a quick glance up at Haruki. It might have been the angle that I was looking from, but he seemed quite happy. It was like seeing a child waking up on Christmas morning and finding out the presents he had wanted all along were now by his bedside.

After running a fair distance from the school buildings, Haruki stopped, turned and together we saw just how huge the giant was. The giant was the same size as the one Itsuko showed me in Closed Space, almost as tall as a skyscraper.

The giant waved its hand, and the school building collapsed. Since the four-story complex was already ripped open from its previous strike, it now fell easily. The debris fell and scattered in all directions along with the deafening noise it created.

Haruki ran frantically to the centre of the two hundred meter track field, where he stopped and put me down.

An unbelievable red giant has now appeared in the dark monotonous school. If you want to take pictures, you should be taking these, and not pictures of the president of the Computer Club groping Asahina-senpai's package, and definitely not pictures of Asahina-senpai wearing all sorts of costumes. The website ought to have pictures like what we're seeing right now!

As I was thinking about this, Haruki quickly said in my ear, "Do you think she'll attack us? I don't think she's evil at all… whaddya think?"

"I don’t know." As I answered Haruki, I thought about what Itsuko told me when she brought me inside Closed Space. If we let these "Celestials" continue their rampage, then after their destruction, Closed Space will replace the real world, meaning this grey world will replace the world we came from, and then…

What will become of our world?

According to what Itsuko just told me, Haruki seems to be creating a brand new world. Will the Asahina-senpai and Nagato I know be in this new world? Or will it be a surreal world where these "Celestials" walk around freely, and aliens, time travelers, and espers become commonplace?

If the world really becomes like that, what role will I be playing?

Argh, forget it! It's useless trying to think anymore, because I just don't get it. I don't get what Haruki's thinking, and I don't possess any telepathic power that allows me to read what others think.

At this instant, I heard Haruki speaking to me, "What’s really going on here? Whether it's this world or that giant, it's so weird…"

Those things were all created by you, buster! I should be the one asking the questions! Why'd you drag me into all of this!? Adam and Eve? No way! It’s so stupid! I won't believe in such a crappy story! Never!

"Don't you want to return to the original world?" I asked calmly.

"What did you say?" Haruki turned towards me. His fiery eyes were now shrouded in darkness.

"We can't just stay here forever! There's not a single shop, so there's nowhere to eat when we get hungry. Besides, the school's surrounded by an invisible wall: there's no way out of here. At this rate we'll just starve to death."

"Don’t worry so much! Things will eventually sort themselves out, I’m sure of it. For some reason, I feel really happy all of a sudden!"

"Then what about the SOS Brigade? You created that club! You're just gonna leave it?"

"I really don't give a damn anymore! I'm already experiencing something exciting now; there's no need for me to go out and search for mysterious events."

"But, I want to return to the original world."

The giant momentarily stopped in its demolition of the school.

"Before we ended up in this strange situation, I didn't realize how much I liked my life the way it was. There I have the idiot Taniguchi, Kunikida, Itsuko, Nagato, Asahina-senpai, and even the long-vanished Asakura-san, I guess."

"…What are you talking about?"

"I really want to see those friends again. I have a lot of things I want to tell them."

Haruki turned back towards the school, and then spoke. "We'll see them, don’t worry. This world won't be covered in darkness forever. Once morning comes, the sun will come up. I'm sure of that."

I shook my head. "It's not like that. This world isn't what you think it is. I really want to see those friends again, in the original world!"

"I don't get what you're talking about." Haruki turned back towards me, scowling at me like a kid who just had every birthday gift snatched away from him. "Aren't you sick and tired of that boring world as well? There's nothing special in the normal world at all! Don't you want to experience something interesting as well?"

"I used to think like that."

The giant started moving. It kicked the remaining parts of the school complex and headed for the courtyard. On the way, it swiped at the school corridor with its arm and gave the clubs complex a huge kick.

I looked over Haruki's shoulder and was astonished to find other glowing red giants appearing. One, two, three......when I got to five, I decided to give up counting.

Without the blue glowing spheres to stop them, the glowing red giants now began their destruction of this grey world without delay. I don't get what's so interesting about all this destruction. Every time they moved their arms and legs, everything that they touched disappeared instantly.

In a moment, half the school had vanished.

I couldn't tell how large this Closed Space was, and I didn't know if this dimension would expand and become another world. At this moment, my mind was still full of uncertainty. If at this instant, an old drunkard sitting beside me in a train had said to me, "Let me tell you a secret that you can’t say to anyone else! I'm actually an alien," I would have believed him right away. The number of mysterious events I've experienced has now increased by infinity compared to a month ago.

What exactly could I do? If it were a month ago, maybe I wouldn't have thought of anything, but right now I knew what I had to do. I've already received so many hints.

Once I'd decided what to do, I said the following:

"Haruki, these last few days, I've experienced some very interesting things. Though you may not know it, there are all sorts of people who are really interested in you. It wouldn't be too far-fetched to say that the world literally revolves around you. Everyone believes you are a very special person, and they've tried to back up those beliefs with actions. You may not know it, but the world is headed in a very interesting direction."

I placed my hands on Haruki's chest and I could feel his heart rate double. He looked at me with an uncomfortable face that said, "What's gotten into you?"

And then, he turned away from me again, towards the rampaging red giants, with a serious expression on his face.

Looking at his handsome and lively face, I remembered Nagato's "evolution possibility", Asahina-senpai's "temporal distortion", and Itsuko treating Haruki as "God". But what is Haruki to me? What do I think about him?

Haruki is Haruki, what else can I say? I didn't intend to just answer like that though. Yet, I didn't have a definite answer. I knew it'd come to this, right? If you had pointed at the classmate behind me and asked, "What is he to you?" - how do you think I would answer? ...This, I'm sorry, I'm going in circles again! To me, Haruki's not just an ordinary classmate, and certainly not any "evolution possibility", "temporal distortion" or even "God".

The giant turned in our direction. Despite not having any eyes, I could still feel it looking right at us. It took a step towards us, which had to be a couple of meters at the least, with how quickly it shortened the distance between us even though it was walking so slowly.

I knew what I had to do. After all, Asahina-senpai and Nagato had both given me such obvious hints: the Frog Prince, and the Snow Queen. Please, there's no way I didn't know what the Frog Prince is supposed to mean! And in that context, I remembered how the brave girl had gotten her love back from the Snow Queen. The answer was right in front of me.

This sucks. Asahina-senpai, Nagato, how could you ask me to do such a thing? There's still my feelings to consider too, you know! That sort of thing is very important to a girl! Besides, even if I went through with it, there was no way Haruki would turn into a handsome prince just like that.

But it was probably the only way to escape the Snow Queen's palace. My rationality screamed out against it, but humans were never the sort to listen solely to reason, since we were full of what Nagato would call "noise" in our data. I planted myself firmly in front of Haruki, and looked him square in the eye.

"What is it now..."

"You know, you got it all mixed up in the clubroom."

"Huh?"

"I'm actually not into bookish type at all. I’d rather have a guy who can lift me up in his arms!

"What are you talking about?"

Seems like he doesn't get it. Well, there's an easy remedy for that.

I grabbed his necktie, and dragged him down to meet my lips.

It's more polite to close your eyes at times like this, so I closed mine. And so, I didn't know what expression Haruki had. Were his eyes open from the shock? Or did he close his eyes as well? I could feel his heartbeat again, pounding like a bongo drum. Slowly, I slid my arms up around his neck...

Suddenly, he wrapped me with his arms and pulled me in closer. And… was… was that your tongue I just felt?!

I could still hear the rumbling in the distance; it seemed the giant was still destroying the campus. Just as I was thinking that, I suddenly lost my balance and fell downwards. Everything felt like it was turning upside down. No matter what I did, I couldn't keep my balance. I fell to the cold, hard ground, and then... I opened my eyes and saw a very familiar ceiling.

I'm stunned.

I was in my room, and appeared to have fallen out of bed onto the floor. Of course, I was wearing my pajamas. Half of the messed-up blanket lay on the floor. My arms were clutching a pillow, which was covered in my saliva. I immediately threw it aside.

It was some time before I could think again.

In a half-dreamlike state, I slowly stood up, opened the window, and looked outside. I saw a few twinkling stars and the shining street lamps. I confirmed there were lights coming from other people's windows and occasional silhouettes moving behind them.

Was it a dream? Had I been dreaming all of this?

I had a dream where I fell into a surreal world with a guy I knew, and then ended up making out with him! A dream so simple to understand that even Sigmund Freud would cry, laughing.

Urgh, I just want to hang myself right away.

If it were with, say, Nagato, then I could have at least gotten some sort of well-detailed personality analysis from this dream. But no, I had to dream of myself kissing Haruki, of all people! What on earth was my subconscious thinking!?

And what on earth did the Frog Prince have to do with that?! If my memory's correct, the original fable had the princess cutting of the frog's head to bring him back to normal. Why couldn't I have cut off Haruki's great ugly head to restore the world? Why did I have to get the stupid kids' version?!

I sat wearily on the floor, my energy spent, and held my head, thinking that if it had all been a dream, why did it feel so real? The smell of Haruki's sweat, his quickening heartbeat, and the feel of his tongue in my mouth...

......Does this...does this mean that this is no longer the original world? Is this a brand new world created by Haruki? Is there a way for me to confirm this?

There isn't, no matter how hard I thought. Or rather, I never wanted to think about such a problem. If I had to admit that all of that was a dream because my brain was out of order, then I'd rather believe that the world had been destroyed.

I looked at my alarm clock. Two thirty in the morning.

...I'm going back to sleep.

I pulled my blanket over my head, asking my mind to give me some peaceful sleep.

I couldn't sleep, though that isn't the only reason I feel terrible this morning.

Right now, I'm so exhausted that I almost need to crawl in order to climb up the slope. This is killing me, to be honest. I'm just glad I didn't meet Taniguchi on the way, or I'd be forced to hear her go on and on. The sun continued to release the heat from its endless nuclear fusion. Mr. Sunshine, please, can't you take a break once in a while? I'm going to fry to death!

I need a shower. And a bath. Anything to get rid of the feeling from my dream last night, please. I had finally remembered the ribbon the older Asahina-senpai had given me, and randomly decided to tie my hair up again today, so that I could at least keep the hair out of my eyes and maybe stay awake. It didn't help.

Refusing to come when I needed it, the sleep demon now circled around my head when I least wanted it. If it keeps going on like this, I don't know how long I can remain conscious in the first class.

When I saw the school complex, I stopped and looked at the crummy old four story building. The sweaty students all crawled into the school buildings like a bunch of ants.

I dragged my feet up the stairs, and then into the familiar room of Class 1-5, stopping three steps from the window.

Haruki was there, grinning. "Yo, Kyon. I just wanna say that I’m sorry about yesterday. I overdid it a bit."

I placed my bag on the desk, and said “Whatever. It's over and done with, it really doesn't matter anymore.”

Haruki looked at me, actually concerned. “You feeling okay? You don't look so good.”

"I feel miserable!” I said, pouting. “I had a terrible nightmare last night."

“Really?” Haruki's grin quickly returned to his face. “I had the best dream ever.”

I glared at him and turned my face towards the window.

Haruki went quiet. I could feel his eyes studying me.

"Hey, Kyon," he said, after a few minutes pause.

"What?"

"You look great in that ponytail."

Let me tell you what happened afterwards. On my way to the bathroom during lunch break, I met Itsuko in the corridor.

"I really should thank you from the bottom of my heart." She said, greeting me with a smile, "This world has remained unchanged, and Suzumiya-san is here as usual. I’ll have to continue my work now, but don’t think I'm not ungrateful, it’s all thanks to you that we’re all still here.”

Damn right.

“Of course, it's still possible that this world was only created last night! In any case, it’s an honor to have known you and Suzumiya-san. I hope to get to learn more about you," Itsuko said, before taking off, waving her hand at me. "See you after school!"

I went to the Literature Club room during lunch break and there sat Nagato reading his book as usual.

He looked up at me. "For two and a half hours this morning, you and Suzumiya Haruki had disappeared from this world."

He opened his mouth and said this, and only this. Then he lowered his head and continued reading.

"I'm reading the book you lent me now.” I said “I should be able to return it to you in a week."

"I see." He responded, not looking up.

"Can you tell me if there are many others like you on this planet?"

"A lot."

"Does that mean there'll be those who might attack me like Asakura did?"

Nagato now lifted his head and looked directly at me. "I won't let them."

I decided not to mention the library.

After school in the club room, I met Asahina-senpai, who was wearing his uniform for once instead of his maid outfit. When he saw me, he practically threw himself at me in tears.

"I'm so glad, I can still see you..." Asahina-senpai cried with his face buried in my shoulder. "I thought you'd never...(sniff)....return to this (sniff) world..."

Perhaps he just realized he was embracing me, because Asahina-senpai suddenly released me at once.

"N-no, I can't! If Suzumiya-san sees this, the same thing will happen again!"

"I don't really get what you're saying, Asahina-senpai..."

Looking at the teary-eyed, adorable little Asahina-senpai, I tried to calm him down. "Why aren't you wearing your maid costume today?"

"It's being washed."

At this point, I suddenly remembered something, and pointed towards my heart. "Oh yeah, Asahina-senpai, you've got a star-shaped birthmark around here on your chest."

Wiping the tears away from his eyes, Asahina-senpai looked confused. He then loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt to take a look inside it.

"E-eh, that's weird... I never noticed it myself... H-hey! How did you find out!?" Asahina-senpai blushed furiously. Cute as always.

Your future self told me about it. I wonder if I should tell Asahina-senpai the truth?

Suddenly, I heard someone near the door clearing their throat. It was Haruki, who stood there with an evil grin.

“Having fun, Mitsuuru-kun?” He said, as he lifted the paper bag he was carrying. “Congratulations!” Haruki hummed a tune that sounded like it came from an old RPG. “You've gained a level in manliness! Come! Time to change!"

Haruki moved as swiftly as a martial arts master and grabbed Asahina-senpai, who was too surprised to move.

"N...nooooo~~!" Poor Asahina-senpai screamed endlessly as Haruki forcefully pulled off his uniform.

"Stop moving! Resistance is futile! This time it's a butler uniform! Aren't you glad you don't have to cross-dress anymore?”

"A...at least lock the door!"

Of course, I went outside, shutting the door. Although I feel sorry for Asahina-san, I'm really looking forward to what I'll see when the door opens. I wonder how cute he'll be as a butler...

Ah yes, and Nagato was there as well, sitting in the corner as usual, quietly reading his book.

This time, I finally handed the SOS Brigade application form to the Student Council. If I didn't bribe the Student Council, there was no way they'd ever allow a club like the "Save the World by Overloading it with Fun: Suzumiya Haruki's Brigade" to exist.

That's why I changed the name slightly to the "Supporting the Student Council in Organizing the School Brigade" (abbreviated as the SOS Brigade), and I altered the club's activities summary to "providing all sorts of consultation services to any problems people may encounter at school, and to actively participate in local community services".

I don't know what that really means, but I guess it'll be OK as long as it makes sense grammatically. After that I'll just make some posters about those annoying consultations and stick them on the board. I have a feeling we won’t get any cases that Haruki would deem as “something interesting”.

On the other hand, Haruki's "Search for Mysterious Events" in the town continued under his command for the second memorable time today. According to precedent, today's activities should have involved wasting a whole weekend wandering around aimlessly, but today Asahina-senpai, Nagato, and even Itsuko all said they couldn't come as they had something important to do, so I ended up waiting all alone for Haruhi at the station ticket turnstiles.

I don't know what those three were up to, or whether they genuinely had something important. But since they aren't normal humans in the first place, it's not surprising that they would need to handle some very important matters in some place I'd never heard of. I looked at my watch. There were still thirty minutes before the meeting time. I had stood here for thirty minutes already; in other words, I arrived an hour early. I did this not because I looked forward to today's activity, but because the SOS Brigade had an unwritten rule that whoever arrives last, whether they're late or not, has to pay a fine.

Besides, there's only two people involved in today's activity.

I lifted my head and saw a familiar figure, casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He probably never expected me to arrive so early, and stood stunned on the spot. He then grumpily raised a hand in greeting and walked towards me. I didn't know whether his frown had to do with today's low attendance rate, or the fact that I arrived earlier than he did. I'll just have to ask him when we get to the cafe. Of course, Haruki will be the one paying.

By then, I'll have many things I want to talk to him about, like where the SOS Brigade is going from now on, Asahina-senpai's costumes, trying to have him talk to his classmates for once, and asking him what he thinks of Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic techniques.

However, I need a good topic before I can start a real conversation with him.

Ah, I've already decided what to say. That's right, I've decided...

...To talk about aliens, time travelers, and espers.

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Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Full Text

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