Talk:Date A Live:Volume 5 Chapter 5
[1] < ... between these two-----to put it correctly, the byproducts in the sideline’s that were dragged into it would suffer terrible damage. >
This should be just Side Lines since 副産物 is either byproduct or sidelines and not both right?.
[2] Not sure if rephrasing this preserved the meaning a lot but i think it made more sense than the first one.
[3] < ... they could only hear each other’s offences and defenses inside their dreams...>
Can be reworded a bit to make more sense. I know 夢 litterally means dream but i was thinking that Kaguya and yuzuru were somewhat deluded due to their anger while in battle. I was thinking of using delusion but the Kanji is different.
--- Daylighter (talk) 12:07, 24 April 2013 (GMT +8:00)
1.i put byproducts in the sidelines, since it means things are getting screwed around them. actually sideline alone can work but i prefer to have an "object" there.
2. huh?
3.since 夢 is dream, what else you do your prefer so it sounds better? --RikiNutcase (talk) 00:08, 24 April 2013 (CDT)
Typo on notes here at [2] lol, but yeah I rearranged that sentence a bit. and I tag the lines on the actual page with hidden comments. I'm still thinking on how to best reword [3] though. Maybe something along the lines of Vision (as in goal , not sight). -- Daylighter (talk) 18:17, 24 April 2013 (GMT +8:00)
<Repeating Kannazuki’s instruction again, <Deep love> Minowa quickly hit the console.
When he did that,> isn't it supposed to be she since minowa is female?
<In the middle of Kannazuki’s words, the Territory was deployed on the designated spot. Then on the very small set radius Territory, an even powerful Mana cannon was released on it.> is this part supposed to be "an even more powerful"? or "evenly powerful" --Monsterbandage (talk) 20:35, 24 April 2013 (CDT)
different character. minowa isnt female.
even more powerful--RikiNutcase (talk) 20:59, 24 April 2013 (CDT)
<But, even in normal conditions, he was able to achieve compensating 7 times of the Control Realizer> wording for this last part sounds a little awkward. maybe try "he was able to achieve compensating for the Control Realizer which created the strain of 7 Realizers" or something
and this was from the first volume "Due to her deep love, now the law won't let her within 500 meters of her loved one●<On Probation> Minowa!" --Monsterbandage (talk) 21:14, 24 April 2013 (CDT)
well if it works i don't mind. as long as the structure and meaning doesnt change, i'm okay with it.
opps minowa is female lol. --RikiNutcase (talk) 21:25, 24 April 2013 (CDT)
