Talk:Madan no Ou to Vanadis:Volume 09 Chapter 2

From Baka-Tsuki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The printable version is no longer supported and may have rendering errors. Please update your browser bookmarks and please use the default browser print function instead.

Setsuna, I'm going to try and point this out again and if you're adamant about it then I'll overlook it in the future but "floated a smile" sounds weird, why not just "smiled" or "gave a smile". Also "drop-out" soldiers sounds like deserting soldiers to me. Kuratatsu (talk) 10:53, 11 June 2014 (CDT)

Just "smile" will be good when there are no adjective (gentle smile or difficult smiel). How about "revealed a smile"? As for "Drop-pout", which word do you should replace it? Setsuna86 (talk) 14:16, 11 June 2014 (CDT)

'gave a smile'. Also for 'drop-out', why not 'deserting'. Drop-out sounds too... related to studies. I have encountered that word when talking about education. --Chancs (talk) 14:37, 11 June 2014 (CDT)


Original : Whenever it counted five hundred soldiers, the Bydgauche army stopped once. Not to take a rest. But only to adjust their lines and quietly take a deep breath. And then, they advanced again.

Suggested Change 1: Whenever it counted five hundred soldiers, the Bydgauche army stopped once. Not to take a rest, but only to adjust their lines and quietly take a deep breath. And then, they advanced again.

Suggested Change 2: Whenever it counted five hundred soldiers, the Bydgauche army stopped once. Not to take a rest, but only to adjust their lines and quietly take a deep breath, and then, they advanced again.

I believe that there a missing comma that needs to be exchanged for a period.

Retrieved from "https://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index.php?title=Talk:Madan_no_Ou_to_Vanadis:Volume_09_Chapter_2&oldid=360597"