View source for Ultimate Antihero:Volume 1 Chapter 5

===Part 6===

The moment the figure of Ithaqua couldn’t be seen.

Homura felt his body was wrapped in a pressure like sinking into the deep ocean once more.

Passing over the limit of the limited release, <Aureole> operated once more.

“Just 50 seconds. That’s a great work if I do say so myself.

Murmuring that, Homura put away <Liber Legis> into a subspace using sorcery.

A weapon was not needed anymore.

Only the markers of allies remained on the mission map.

After all Ithaqua had also taken away the slightly remaining demons on the ground while he was at it.

“Homura-san……”

Suddenly, a voice called out to Homura after the battle ended.

The one who called out was Sumika with her expression strangely tense.

“Hm? What’s with you, making that kind of scary face.”

“…Is the story just now true?”

“Just now?”

“About how you purposefully have your power sealed, is that true?”

Homura remembered from being asked that.

When he was in communication with the Five Great Leaders, she was right beside him.

“…Well, so you heard that because you are at the side. Keep it secret okay. After all it’s gonna be troublesome if it gets leaked out.”

There would be no meaning at all to put up a false show if this secret was completely exposed.

That was why Homura requested this earnestly to Sumika.

But, Sumika’s expression became even more tense from Homura that was like that.

“Why are you doing something like that!? Such a thing, to suppress your own power by yourself…! It’s just doesn’t make sense! Even though if you fought with your full power right from the start, then… you won’t be hurt like that!”

She was watching the fight from up close.

Homura’s arm was hideously burned with the majority of the arm turned into charcoal, she had witnessed that painful sight.

And also his expression that endured the pain.

For that reason she couldn’t come to terms with it.

If at that point of time he could destroy <Aureole> with his own power, then he should be able to defend against the demon king’s attack without having to bear a heavy wound, yet he didn’t do that by his own intentions.

Homura, hearing the question of the girl that was like that, he gave the same answer like when he was questioned by the Five Great Leaders through the transmission, just why he didn’t tear off his collar if he actually could do that anytime.

“’Cause if I was just left alone freely, many people are gonna piss themselves in terror.”

“Isn’t it fine for just something like that! It’s not like they are going to die from that-! Besides Homura-san is the person that has saved humanity once, aren’t you!? Just where is the need to be considerate to those people who cannot believe Homura-san despite all that to the degree that you have to expose yourself to danger!?”

Sumika declared that there was no need for all that.

However, Homura’s opinion was different.

“…I also get what Hoshikawa is saying. But, a scary thing is still scary.”

He directed his gaze to the ground.

Just what was Homura looking at? Sumika followed his gaze. And then―she noticed.

The many looks of terror, directed at Homura from the ground.

Those who were directing such looks at Homura, were exactly the national defense magicians whose lives were supposed to be just saved by him.

“That’s… if Homura-san didn’t fight they all would be killed, yet why…”

“It’s not really something strange. Not everyone is strong like Hoshikawa or Chikori. The ones that look at me yet don’t piss themselves are the extraordinary ones. To fear the existence that transcends your understanding is the correct reaction as a living being after all.”

―They had seen it.

The hard to describe grotesque shape of the evil god, that one would hesitate just to say it.

That was exactly why they were scared.

Something like that wasn’t supposed to be the ally of humanity.

There was no way an existence that could freely control something like that could be someone upright. That was what they thought.

“That’s why, telling them to [get used to it] is really pitiful right?”

“But, then… won’t you being misunderstood forever then-“

“Doesn’t really matter. Not like I want to be praised or idolized by anyone. …Besides, you guys are weak after all. Everyone will get killed if I’m not protecting them.”

He already had enough, having someone die in front of his eyes.

Exactly because Homura had lost a lot more than any other person, that such a thought was strong in him.

That was why he would protect.

He didn’t look for sympathy or praise.

He didn’t even think of wanting such things.

It was fine even if he was hated. It was fine even if he was feared. If he could just save even one more person with his power then―

That was Homura’s reason.

“…However, that’s… as if, it’s as if you are a slave isn’t it…-“

“Even if you said that you cannot understand no matter what, I don’t get any other reason than that, so I got no answer more than that y’know.”

“……”

Sumika’s expression showed that she still couldn’t accept it, but there was nothing else that she could ask or speak of anymore.

When Homura said that and finished up the talk,

“Then I’m gonna go back to the academy first. After all no matter what I do right now, it’s only gonna make them frightened.”

He left everyone else and flew away to the academy’s direction by himself.

His back became more distant with slow speed.

Looking at that back that was not accompanied by anyone around it… Sumika thought.

(…What a lonely person.)

And then, what a sad person, she thought.

For him, there was no one equal to him.

Whether enemy or ally, there was not a single one that could rival his strength.

Standing alone bearing the term of the strongest―the Ultimate One.

For Homura, everyone other than him was equally a weak person.

And then, because of that he tried to protect everyone.

No matter how much he received absurdly unreasonable treatment, he tolerated everything because they were weak and so it couldn’t be helped.

(Aah, so this is what that means.)

In that moment, Sumika understood the meaning of the words that Shiori said to her this afternoon.

{I love him you know.}

{Though I hate him almost as much.}

{Well, sooner or later you too will understand. If you are beside that man, you will understand even if you don’t want.}

She couldn’t understand what Shiori meant at that time, but right now she could understand clearly.

(This is not just aspiration. As I thought… I love Homura-san.)

And then―for that reason, she couldn’t forgive him. She was so angry to an absurd degree.

To accept being feared like it was only natural, accepting it like it couldn’t be helped.

Carrying out great exploits that should be extolled while not wanting for any praise at all, he sacrificed himself to protect the weak.

Such thing… that way of life of him that only got burdened with loss.

She liked him yet hated him.

It was because she loved him that she loathed him.

In the end, that was surely the meaning of the words that Shiori said.

Then,

(Then… I’ll――)

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