User talk:Aorii
Rinkan no Madoushi
So far its leaning towards a seinen fantasy story with a female protagonist. :) Stellarroze 14:29, 9 April 2012 (CDT)
can you please do black bullet??--101.99.160.176 05:42, 6 December 2012 (CST)
Daybreak on Hyperion
I like your story, keep up the good work, would love to read more. In the last chapter it got a bit confusing tho, first Keade got shot and then sends a message via telepathy. What has happened in between? How did the other mage get on the roof, and so on ? 93.223.35.150 04:38, 4 January 2014 (CST)
Thanks. As for what happened, Ariadne implied at the beginning of her part (section 5) that Kaede was faking the unconsciousness. Being the airborne one, she had no problem receiving direct line-of-sight telepathy from Kaede. Because of how fragmented the fight is in ch11, the continuously switching POVs makes it bit hard to read. Sorry about that ^^ - Aorii
I got all that, but what I really meant was that you usually get a little character recap here. Like she got shot, struggeled against the pain, activated some runes to dull the pain, heard foot steps, assessed it was best to play dead for the time being, and stab the mage prick that came, with her magic sword later when the time was right. :) Jumps are good and all but if too much is implied it's a bit confusing. Interesting story line, keep it up :) 93.223.35.150 11:47, 4 January 2014 (CST)
Thanks for the good idea. I added an extra scene (#5, start with "Trying to monitor the situation"). Couldn't go too far with the time overlap since excess repetitiveness lowers tension and dulls the action overall, but hope this clarify and helps the transition o/ - Aorii
Well done, now the story line is smother than before. Action scenes with character development is a must :) 93.223.35.150 15:46, 5 January 2014 (CST)
Great job! I really have enjoyed what you have written so far and look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work. :) Starwarscards (talk) 21:15, 29 January 2014 (CST)
I picked an early chapter (3) to read to see if I’d like the story, and I just got sucked in. Not only did I read the first 2 I skipped, but I ended up reading for the rest of the night. The next night too. I just read the latest chapter (I was re-reading a couple of parts and noticed you posted it). Your characters are interesting and slowly changing(as any good characters should), and the world seems like it has some depth. I especially liked some of the details on the different types of magic , how they worked, and their strengths and weaknesses. My only gripe is that there is no more for me to read right now :) Keep up the good work! -- 21:26, 29 January 2014 (CST)
I just started it out of curiosity as I was out of any good LN to read and I just couldn't stop until I had finished it. Somehow, your characters(Kaede/Pascal/Ariadne/Sylv mainly, and Cecilia in the last part) are really interesting. I find that Kaede reaction could(should?), in my eye, be a bit more explicit as we don't really understand when/how he accept his reality. I wanted him to search his memory to find his a hint to his death, only to find him opposing this possibility without full inspection. I'll wait for the next chapter. I'll try to drop by the forum to give a full someday. --Lulol (talk) 15:54, 8 April 2014 (CDT)
Answered on userpage - Aorii
I just read voulume 1 of Daybreak on Hyperion, must say it was very impressive better than a lot of the translated light novels I read, might be because I like military fantasy. So thank you for writing, I don't really want this series to end so I hope you write many and even more volumes. PS.I was reading and I don't really don't know why but the word "asshat" really made me feel uncomfortable. Zeenu8skyfire (talk) 07:07, 25 June 2014 (CDT)
Thanks for your encouragement. I'm glad you've enjoyed it thus far ^^ although the 'military' aspect hasn't entirely hit home yet in volume 1 XD Guess that's the most extreme of cussing I've written thus far? I try not to use much but I won't hold back profanities when the situation warrants though. - Aorii
