User talk:Bnns
Infinite Stratos[edit]
Have done some work editing the first chapter of IS even though it hasn't been active for quite a while when i was reading the structure of a lot of the different sentences just didn't sit well with me. Either because the content was made too vague by redundancy of words or it was unclear either what was going on or who was the subject so i started making changes to make it clearer to the casual reader. If you have any questions or issues with edits please feel free to contact me.
You might wanna try signing your posts with. ~~~~. This automatically inserts your current signature into your posts. Also you can edit your signature to include a direct link to your talk page, like most advanced users here have, from your preferences. I will be revising your edits. As long as they don't destroy the Japanese feel of the chapters I won't have many problems. I think I had overlooked IS' earlier volumes. I look forward to working with you. Zero2001 - Talk - 02:27, 22 May 2012 (CDT)
Thank you very much Zero2001, my primary goal is to keep the authenticity, while making it read fluidly in the English. i will be looking forward to working with you as well. Thanks for the pointers. bnns - Talk 03:15, 22 May 2012 (CDT)
For IS, about 1/4 of the problem is that the author doesn't have a writing style for a novel, since he's been writing eroges before, which does make things choppy. If you check (and click) the view history tab on the top of each chapter, you will notice some comments Perfect Chaos made about the story. Of course, my preference is flow > literal translation, since each language has their own grammatical rules. When working on this, there are countless situations where I have to wonder what the subject is even though Ichika's the viewpoint the reader looks from most of the time. (Then again, this work isn't a work of art either way)--Teh Ping 05:53, 22 May 2012 (CDT)
Thanks Teh Ping, i took a look at some of Perfect Chaos' comments and i will try to follow his style. I will also follow the guide of flow then literal translation that you've recommended, it seems to make the most sense as by definition a translation is in some form or other an interpretation of the original author's intent. bnns - Talk 00:30, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
You should add yourself to IS' editors' list. You have been doing some heavy editing, so it's only natural. Zero2001 - Talk - 07:54, 22 May 2012 (CDT)
Thanks Zero2001 for the suggestion and the vote of confidence but i wouldn't feel right adding myself to the editors list until i've completed my edits for the first chapter. bnns - Talk 00:33, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
You're supposed to edit the grammatical flow, not the terms. SHR is a valid term that was used in the novel.--Teh Ping 02:56, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
I did some checks on your edits. No changes to terms are needed, and you don't have to assume whether Ichika or anyone else is talking or not. I did say 'flow', but I actually meant grammatically.--Teh Ping 03:07, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
Thanks for the info. I'll leave the structure and terms within the sentences as they are and focus more on making small grammatical adjustments, though when you say terms do you mean acronyms like SHR? or swapping out one word for another because it reads better? bnns - Talk 10:28, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
For this kind of story, the terms will refer to things like food, IS parts, lesson related things and such. The text gave it as SHR (Student Homeroom Meeting). You're free to edit any parts that you think doesn't flow/or synthesize the sentences, but do not take out specific terms because they are given as such.(It gets worse later on)--Teh Ping 10:47, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
Understood. I greatly appreciate your advice and guidance. bnns - Talk 11:15, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
Would like to say thanks for your efforts for editting the chapter. No offense intended, I saw that there are words such as "conspicuous" in your edits that I could not get the meaning at the first go, well it could be my literacy is a bit too low :(, would it be possible if there are other "simpler" words that can be used to replace for more fluent reading? This most likely won't be a big deal to most readers so there is no need to take my suggestion seriously. Once again, thanks for editting the chapter. :)
Thanks for the message i'll keep that in mind and i'll try to simplify the language that i use. The truth of the matter is for that particular sentence conspicuous fit only slightly better than obvious ... i think i'll change it to unmistakeable.... bnns - Talk 10:28, 23 May 2012 (CDT) I'll also try and look over what i did over the last little bit and make sure that the words are a simple as possible. bnns - Talk 11:18, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
For tougher parts you can use ref notes to explain. Zero2001 - Talk - 14:09, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
Reference notes are only to be used to explain Japanese-related thing or really obscure reference for common people. Vaelis 14:19, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
Thanks Zero2001, but in most cases it's about finding the best way to phrase it that's tough and not that it's a concept unique to the story or unfamiliar to the general audience... bnns - Talk 14:30, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
Vaelis is such a killjoy. Zero2001 - Talk - 23:48, 23 May 2012 (CDT)
Heh. bnns - Talk 00:32, 24 May 2012 (CDT)
Hi, regarding your recent edits, I couldn't really agree with some and reverted some back, could you please take a look at them again, because I felt that the changes somehow changed the meaning. By the way, your use of language is great, and most of your edits generally made the sentences look better. I am thankful for your efforts. Zakashi 04:32, 6 July 2012 (CDT)
Hey Zakashi, my only aim is to make the sentences clear and concise without changing much of the language and inadvertently the meaning, i'd be more than happy to discuss any changes that i make, some of them are just there to make the sentence flow better, more of a veneer than anything else. Though for the ones that you've change that i feel that are currently too inadequately written to convey the sense of what the words mean, i will try to explain my viewpoint on the matter of how the changed sentence better conveys the meaning. bnns - Talk 05:59, 8 July 2012 (CDT)
Yeah, there is nothing wrong with your aim, maybe it's just that our interpretation of the sentence differed, that's why, I look forward to what you have to say. Once again, thanks for editting. Zakashi 06:12, 8 July 2012 (CDT)
Most probably. I also meant to thank you for the compliments they are greatly appreciated as well as for your assistance as you've helped refine the text even further and i don't mean to imply that i have right answer for how the sentence should be written just that i'm trying to head in the general direction. For the most part from what i can tell of your changes, most are minor and debatable and only encompassed minor parts of the larger context that i had changed. I may have only one or two points that i feel may be more appropriate phrased in a slightly different manner. bnns - Talk 06:25, 8 July 2012 (CDT)
Thanks for the clarifications :D. Regarding the first edit you commented on, I just find that "had become considered superior" sounded a bit cut up, but I can't think of any other alternative phrasing, so I'll just leave it at that. Zakashi 07:25, 8 July 2012 (CDT)
Now that you mention it, it does sound a little weird... but no matter how many times i go over it in my mind it seems like the best option... If you come up with something that works better feel free to give it a try. bnns - Talk 07:41, 8 July 2012 (CDT)
No worries, have a good sleep! :D Zakashi 08:16, 8 July 2012 (CDT)
Just a note, please remember to capitalise the pronoun "I" in future edits. It's ok if it's in the comments but it seemed to have appear in your edits too. Thanks. Zakashi 08:04, 9 July 2012 (CDT)
Yeah i'm sorry about that, i'm so used to having an office word processing suite auto format it ;D i'll try to keep better tabs on it. bnns - Talk 12:15, 9 July 2012 (CDT)
A suggestion here, if there are any comments on your edits, maybe we can move it to the chapter discussion page? Especially since there are indeed people who responded to your edits. Having a string of comments after the part in question does make the source page look a bit messy and cause extra data on the chapter page. Zakashi 04:58, 11 July 2012 (CDT)
Yeah, we could totally go through and do that whenever we get around to it. I'm more focused on finishing the edits for the chapter. When i finish hopefully i'll look over it once more and then during the editing process move them around unless you get to it first. ;) bnns - Talk 19:53, 11 July 2012 (CDT)
Just one more thing though it might be better if we leave them in because it'll make editing the docs either harder or new individuals who edit it may miss out on the reasons completely if they neglect to look at the reference doc, as it's particularly hard to figure out the line numbers when the chapter is being edited. bnns - Talk 19:58, 11 July 2012 (CDT)
Well, since you are the one making the edits, I have no problems with you deciding what to do with them :). I'll leave it up to you to decide which to remove when you run a final check. If you think that the particular edit would be generally accepted by all, then maybe we can remove it. I understand that the reasons for the edits are needed but if people do not check previous versions then they may miss out what is changed so maybe you can try to make it clearer in that sense. Well, everything is up to you since you are taking the time to make the edits. Thanks :) Zakashi 05:08, 12 July 2012 (CDT)
By the way, regarding the edit about "average standard in education", maybe we can put "was of average standard ..." ? Well, I'm not sure if I was the one who changed it to "had" in the first place, I just realised it didn't really fit.
In that regard from my understanding the proper way to word it is "... a school that was an average standard in ..." though to be honest i don't think it's in the common vernacular anymore, so it may seem a little odd. If you think that 'was of' fits better then you can feel free to change it to that as far as i'm concerned they both work, the current way of saying it is proper but uncommon. bnns - Talk 01:29, 13 July 2012 (CDT)
In regards to the edits i've tried to make it clearer by adding current edits to the part of the line as well as refer to the word that was changed if there is confusion as to what should be put. It makes it harder to read and for that i apologize, but as far as i can tell it might make easier to understand why it was change to what it is. If you think there is a better way to doing it please feel free to suggest it. It's just that i've noticed somethings occasionally getting changed improperly and with documentation as to why it is the way it is it tends to lead to less confusion and better judgments on changes. bnns - Talk 01:37, 13 July 2012 (CDT)
Also i won't be able to make edits until the end of the weekend, just wanted to let you know because you've been a big help so far and didn't want you to think i'm MIA. Just very busy and stuff for the next couple days but i'm really looking forward to finishing this chapter so i can get started on the next one. :) bnns - Talk 01:41, 13 July 2012 (CDT)
Haha, there isn't really a need for a scheldule if you are editting. You should just do it as you like in your free time. I'll be glad to help anytime when you resume editting. Regarding making the edits clearer, I'll leave it up to you. Zakashi 07:02, 13 July 2012 (CDT)
Infinite Stratos: Editing Updates[edit]
Volume 1: Chapter 1 (Complete) bnns - Talk 01:57, 24 July 2012 (CDT)
Volume 1: Chapter 2
Volume 2: Chapter 1 (Oops i think i skipped.)
