We Don't Open Anywhere: Kouta Hiiragi's Closed World (I)

Kouta Hiiragi's Closed World (I)

“I’ll protect you with my magic.”

As the 18th of May was becoming part of my normal high school routine, those words changed my world.

The shoe rack was so old it clearly needed replacing and was held together in several places with shoddily-placed packing tape. I had gotten used to its musty odor over the past month, and as I took in the moldy smell, the hand picking up my loafers stopped in midair.

“Ex...cuse me?”

Although we had never spoken before, I could tell from the graceful-looking girl’s sailor uniform and red ribbon that she was a fellow first-year. While her chestnut hair was done up with a red hair band on the back of her head, it felt too short to truly call a ponytail. Her features were reminiscent of a movie star, with a petite face, wide eyes, and skin so white it seemed practically transparent. In contrast with my rather unassuming stature, she was graced with such appeal that any who glimpsed her around school would have practically no choice but to turn their head. She was without a doubt the most gorgeous person I had met in my life.

“Oh right, I guess it would be pretty confusing to be told out of the blue that you’re being protected, huh!”

With a smirk, the girl I had just met began slapping my shoulder in an overly-familiar manner. Even given our lack of closeness, between her looks and her behavior I suspected that the majority of people would feel comfortable around her.

“But you know, I couldn’t just leave you on your own like that. You basically don’t have any, after all.”

Her face grew serious as she said the following.

“Magic resistance, that is.”

That’s not a phrase you hear every day.

My fifteen years of life up until this point had left me woefully unprepared to respond to such a ridiculous proclamation, so I had no choice but to stare dumbfounded at the one who voiced it.

To make matters worse, I’m shy. While my friend Masato would disagree with that assessment, the fact that I had no idea how to interact with people when meeting them for the first time was indisputable. In any case, my head was still spinning as I futilely tried to think of an appropriate response.

To that, the girl mumbled something to the effect of “yup, he didn’t even realize how low his magic resistance is,” reaffirming her assessment of the situation.

In the face of such strange conduct, I finally remembered the name of the character standing in front of me.

“Are you by any chance Miki Kouzuki?”

“The one and only!”

That I knew her name was unlikely to come as a surprise to Kouzuki. It was only natural. She was famous, after all.

She was simply that attractive. Like many beauties before her, as soon as she enrolled she caught the attention of male students throughout the school. However, before long the ranks of suitors quietly receded.

The cause was the circulation of a particular rumor.

The rumor that the girl was delusional — a self-proclaimed magus.

“So what’s this ‘magic resistance’?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. It’s your resistance against magic. How immune to magic you are. I wonder how you got that way, though. Maybe there’s something strange with your astral body?”

Oh look, she started saying something undecipherable.

“...And what on earth is magic?”

“Huh? Hiiragi, you haven’t heard of magic? Haven’t you ever played a video game?”

Somehow or other it seemed she knew my name as well.

“No, what I’m asking is—”

What is the real-world concept that you’re referring to as “magic”?

...Or, that was what I was going to ask, but I stopped myself mid-sentence. If the rumors that she believed herself to be a magus were true, asking that question would cause the conversation to quickly grow awkward. After all, that phrasing would be virtually the same as rejecting the concept of magic outright. After thinking for a moment, I decided to ask a different question.

“Who exactly can use magic? Are you able to?”

“Oh, anyone can use magic. Whether or not they realize it, everyone uses magic all the time. Obviously, I’m no exception.”

“I don’t recall ever using magic, though…”

“Like I said, you just don’t realize it. In our world, even really strong magicians sometimes don’t realize their own abilities.”

“Is that... so…”

It seems she was… the real deal. It felt like it would take some time before I could figure out how to interact with her.

“Yup. Just as I suspected, Hiiragi, you have a talent for magic.”

I had no idea what the basis for that assessment was, but as she said it, the corners of her mouth turned upwards happily.

“Didn’t you just say that I had no magic resistance or something?”

“That’s exactly why you’re talented! There isn’t a direct causal relationship, but it’s really easy for a person like that to become a magus if they spend time around another magus.”

“Huh…”

“Even an unenthusiastic response like that is okey-dokey! I get the feeling you have no idea what I’m talking about, but that’s fine! I’ll teach you magic, starting from some super-basic runes! Once you start getting some hands-on experience, you should start picking it up like that!”

I still had no idea how to respond, so for the time being I just set the loafers I had been holding for some time on the floor.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t properly introduced myself yet, huh. I’m Miki Kouzuki from class 1-3. Nice to meet you~”

“...I’m Kouta Hiiragi from class 1-2.”

“Oh, I know. Nice to meet you!”

With a carefree smile, Kouzuki presented her hand.

When I naturally responded in kind, Kouzuki clasped my hand tightly as if refusing to let it escape. Between the sensation of her soft hand against mine and her charming smile, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

You could hardly blame me, right? If not for her comments about magic and such, Kouzuki’s beauty would be sure to make her popular even within her own sex.

“...Is it ok if I go now, Kouzuki?”

“Oh, that won’t do. Please, call me by my first name. A nickname would do too.”

I’d never before called a woman by either their first name or a nickname. Was my first time going to be taken in this girl who I’d met through the conversational equivalent of a fender-bender?

...It was, wasn’t it. I was the type of person who tended to go with the flow.

“Given names are similar to incantations, you see. Calling someone by their last name generates magic too. If we do that, we’ll be cursed to never quite be friends. With me so far?”

I was in fact not with her. All I was picking up was she didn’t want me to call her by her last name. But that would have to be good enough.

“Miki, then?”

“Hmm… it still feels a bit off… but I guess it just barely passes muster. As for you, Kouta, I guess you’d probably be opposed to having a girl suddenly talk to you too familiarly. We can get to that point gradually.”

It seemed she was capable of at least that level of forethought.

“Now then, could you give me your phone number and LINE ID?"

As instructed, I exchange contact information with her. Under normal circumstances, this might look like something to be envious of. But while it might seem that way on the surface, it’s a different matter when the other party is the kind of troublemaker who would call themselves a magus. That’s the conclusion I arrived at.

While putting on a pretense of indifference, Kouzuki asked me this without taking her eyes from the phone screen:

“Kouta, you think of yourself as pretty normal, right?”

Of course.

“Because you aren’t. Magic aside, even now you seem out of place.”

“I mean, people say that I’m unambitious…”

“This is on a whole ‘nother level, though.”

I had no intention of getting any more involved than I already was, so this line of discussion held no interest for me. After I registered the user with the handle “Magus” as a friend on LINE, I assumed that the conversation had reached its conclusion, so I finished putting on my loafers.

“Umm, can I leave now?”

“Oh, hold on a sec. I left my bag in the classroom, so let me go grab it real quick.”

As my mouth hung open like a dunce, Kouzuki flashed a mischievous smile.

“I’m leaving with you, of course. Didn’t I just say that I would protect you?”

As she said that, she nudged my shoulder innocently.

And that was how my first time going home from school with a girl, which I had been eagerly looking forward to since the moment I enrolled, was stolen by a self-proclaimed magus.

The following day, Friday the 19th.

It was morning, just before homeroom. I leaned back in my chair, exhausted from my unusual experience the day before. Getting to know new people always tends to wear me out, but when that person happened to not only be a beautiful, high-spirited girl but also a self-proclaimed magus I suspect nearly anyone would be drained afterwards.

As I lifted my head from my desk, I could see chalk dust falling from the rim of the blackboard and fluttering throughout the classroom. It gets cleaned every day, so it’s probably just my imagination, but this ancient, not-up-to-code building seemed oddly dark and dusty.

I recounted the previous day’s strange events to my friend, who was sitting in the seat in front of me with his head on his desk. After halfheartedly listening to my tale, he said this once I finished.

“Normally ya’d just assume she has the hots for ya, Kou.”

With his eyes half-closed, Masato Yahara lazily gave me a blunt response. Blunt as it was, though, it seemed he had taken interest in my story. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have even bothered replying.

At our traditionalist high school, Masato’s bleached brown hair and perm were in clear violation of the dress code. And his transgressions didn’t stop there; he also regularly smoked and shoplifted. On looks alone it wouldn’t be strange if he were a member of a certain well-known idol group, but his attitude revealed a level of delinquency such that none of the other students would dare get near him.

“But Miki isn’t exactly normal, right?”

“You ain’t wrong; that chick’s fucked up in the head. You sure she’s not just gonna kill you as some ritual sacrifice?”

He laughed cynically. But I was used to this personality of his.

“Kill me? It’s not like she’s you or anything.”

“I don’t fuckin’ get it. She’s gotta have some ulterior motive. If she was normal, I could chalk it up to a sad attempt to get your attention, but that’s not necessarily the case with her. Whatever she wants to do to you, it might be something completely out of left field.”

Masato jabbed me with his thumb.

“But even though you get the same feeling, you’re not going to be able to turn her down, are ya?”

I couldn’t deny it. I was non-confrontational by nature, after all.

“Hey, may as well make the best of it, right? Hell, if nothing else, you’ll be able to spend your adult life bragging that you spent your high school days hanging out with a hot chick.”

As it didn’t directly affect him, Masato’s advice might seem rather irresponsible.

However, he was rarely off the mark when it came to stuff like this. He had a good head on his shoulders, and his hunches tended to be astute. Although most of what came out of his mouth was extreme, if you ignored his generally dubious manner of speaking what you were left with was fairly insightful.

A sacrifice, huh.

It was scary how plausible that seemed.

As I buried my head in my arms, Masato suddenly dropped his gaze from me, and muttered,

“Ahh… I wanna kill someone.”

This was something of a catchphrase of his. Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, he would murmur this as if he were remembering something. Although it wasn’t exactly a praiseworthy habit, if I paid him any heed it would likely just drive a rift between us.

“Still, for her to make a move on you without even knowing you… looks like our girl Miki Kouzuki’s oddity puts the rumors to shame. Just talking about magic is one thing, but the kind of person who’d graduate to actually doing something ain’t exactly a dime a dozen.”

“You know, the two of you are weird in oddly similar ways.”

“Kouzuki and I are?”

Masato frowned, then pondered for a moment. But before long, he replied with an uncharacteristically serious expression.

“Nah, we aren’t.”

“You’re not?”

“We just aren’t. In fact, we’d probably get along like cats and dogs.”

I didn’t quite follow, but given Masato’s intuitive prowess I had no reason to doubt him.

As our conversation wound down, the morning bell began to ring. Although our school had a bell that signaled that homeroom would begin shortly, I’d never seen it have much effect on the other classes. Until the moment the homeroom teacher walked in the door, the students would generally continue chatting and milling about.

But our class was different.

“Everyone, note that the bell has rung. I would appreciate it if you took your seats.”

The class representative, Shuuichi Akiyama, issued an order. Although the rest of the class balked at the prospect of accepting direction from a fellow student, they didn’t feel it was an issue worth fighting over and quickly fell in line. That was simply how our class operated.

Masato hated that arrangement from the bottom of his heart.

“Hell, if it gets down to it, our relationship might become like mine and that fucker’s.”

“Like yours and the class rep’s? No way.”

Masato and Akiyama were on poor terms. Although delinquents and honor students seldom got along well, it was common for the two groups to intentionally avoid interacting and to simply ignore the other.

But these two were constantly at each other's throats, making their disdain for the other clear.

Let’s turn the clock back a month to April 19th for a moment. Much like today, Akiyama took it upon himself to act in the teacher’s stead, to which Masato vehemently resisted. Slamming his desk to drive his point home, Masato declared, in a voice dripping with contempt:

“You make me fuckin’ sick.”

I, along with the rest of the class, froze. To be completely honest, the rest of us also found something about Akiyama a little bit off-putting. However, his actions were objectively exemplary, so nobody could find a reason to reproach him. We had no legitimate reason to be cautious around him.

But Masato simply gave voice to his revulsion, offering no reasoning. I would be lying if I said I didn’t find it a little refreshing, but Masato had clearly taken it too far.

Normally, an honor student like Akiyama would be unused to such violent outbursts. I was certain that Akiyama would be frightened and atrophy in the face of such a verbal blow.

Which is why I was more surprised by Akiyama’s response than by Masato’s outburst.

“And what of it, may I ask?”

Rather than falter, Akiyama struck back defiantly. I was half concerned that Masato would lose his temper and the argument would devolve into a fistfight.

But instead of leaping at Akiyama, Masato just muttered “go figure” to himself with a disdainful look on his face. Unlike the rest of us, it seemed he anticipated Akiyama’s response. Glaring at Akiyama with eyes that gave the sense they were gazing at filth, Masato ended his tirade with “You’re beyond help,” and returned to his seat without causing any more commotion. Fortunately, things hadn’t gotten out of hand.

For his part, although he said no more, Akiyama was able to clearly convey his contempt for the delinquent Masato. But because Masato didn’t press the issue further, neither did he.

From that point on, their relationship had been akin to a lit powder keg.

“Akiyama and I are like opposites.”

Casting a sidelong glance at Akiyama, Masato smiled contemptuously.

“In what way?”

“Y’know, one of us desires chains, the other rejects them.”

I tilted my head in puzzlement.

“Don’t worry about it. Hell, don’t even think about it. No good’ll come of you overworking that poor brain of yours.”

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“Stupid is as stupid does, Kou. Just try to empty out that head of yours.”

“You’re awful.”

Although he says that, I know he doesn’t actually hate me. I’m so used to it that it doesn’t even bother me anymore.

“Well, for now, you should probably figure out how to dodge Kouzuki’s weird-ass solicitations. You know she’s probably gonna come after you again, right?”

Just as Masato predicted, Miki made her way to our classroom just as the fourth period ended. Entering an unfamiliar classroom is often cause for nervousness, but I didn’t pick up on any whatsoever from Miki.

“Welp, let’s get going!”

Grasping my hand, Miki gave it a tug. I didn’t need an explanation to see that she had no intention of letting me refuse.

I could feel the collective gaze of my classmates boring down on me. I couldn’t blame them. Her reputation as an eccentric aside, Miki Kouzuki was widely hailed as the cutest girl in our school. Yet someone like that was calling my name and grasping my hand, even though I had no notable characteristics to my name other than my relationship with Masato.

“H...hold on a second!”

If I put myself at her mercy, I would no doubt find myself the victim of my peers’ boundless curiosity. My peaceful life would be shattered.

Planting myself in place, I stopped Miki.

“Don’t get all rebellious with me, Kouta! I’m doing this whole bodyguard thing for free, you know. The least you could do is be a little more obedient.”

“At least explain what you’re planning on doing with me!”

“I called for you during lunch, so isn’t it obvious that we’re going to eat together? Use your head! It’s because you’re like that that you don’t have any magic resistance.”

For some reason, she scolded me in earnest.

I felt that I should be the one scolding her for her audacity and lack of common sense, but I suspected that my rebuttal would fall on deaf ears. I could almost picture it.

Releasing my hand for a moment, Miki pulled out two picturesque yellow lunchboxes and displayed them to me proudly.

“Behold, two lunchboxes made personally by my cute self! Consider yourself lucky!”

“Well, I guess it would be hard to argue that you aren’t cute...”

Upon hearing this, Miki put both hands on her cheeks and displayed a bashful expression.

“He called me cute! C’mon, I promise they taste good.”

She pounded on my back exuberantly. She was making a racket, and her acting sucks. Given her reaction, she must be completely used to being called cute.

“Let’s go to the courtyard!”

I could no longer muster the energy to resist Miki, who had begun pulling me along once more. My classmates’ inquisitive eyes were no doubt still on me, but... oh, whatever. Peace at any price, right?

Masato, who was watching us out of the corner of his eye, made no move to lend me assistance, instead just putting on the same cynical grin as always and gently waving me goodbye.

Although it was, in fact, a courtyard, it wasn’t the type of place you could easily envision students gathering or eating lunch at. It was simply a poorly-maintained lawn with a few apologetic-looking shrubs, without even so much as a bench to its name. As a result, the two of us were alone aside from the occasional passerby.

Ours was a rural public high school that often used tradition as an excuse to avoid change and fundamentally rejected the idea of a vibrant adolescence. Both the courtyard and the old-fashioned building served to bore us into submission.

The clearest symbol of that was the uniforms. Despite being widely regarded as unfashionable by the students, our school still used black gakuran and black sailor uniforms of old.

Clearly in a bubbly mood, Miki laid a sheet she had brought on the unkempt lawn and took a seat. I followed suit.

“Is eating lunch together part of my becoming a magus too?”

“Yeah, pretty much. That’s about right.”

By eating her homemade lunch, I could become a magus.

When I put it like that, the causal relationship felt a little dubious. I unconsciously let out a sigh.

“Are you going to make me eat lizard tails or something?”

“What are you talking about? This isn’t a Witches’ Sabbath or anything like that, you know.”

I wanted to ask what exactly a Witches’ Sabbath was, but I realized that if I got hung up on everything she said our conversation would go nowhere.

“Of course, I don’t really expect you to believe me when I say that eating lunch together will help you become a magus.”

Pouting a little, Miki passed me one of the boxes. Upon opening the lid, I found... well, to be frank, everything inside looks perfectly innocuous. Nothing inside seemed to be magic-related, nor did anything seem like it was made with a loved one in mind. It was, all in all, an extremely normal lunch.

How anticlimactic.

“Hey, let me guess what you’re thinking right now!”

Miki brought her face close to mine as if investigating something.

“Be my guest.”

“You’re thrilled at the prospect of eating a cute girl’s homemade lunch!”

“What? That’s completely off. I was just thinking how anticlimactic it was.”

“You’re awful!”

Although now that she mentioned it, eating a girl’s homemade lunch was a part of adolescence I had been looking forward to. Miki had stolen yet another of my firsts.

“But being able to speak your mind like that is a step in the right direction! Keep it up, keep it up!”

For some reason, I was being encouraged.

Her wide eyes gazed straight into mine as she spoke. That was probably how she truly felt.

If that’s how seriously she was taking this, I felt that I should do my part to understand this whole magic thing.

“In that case, I’ll ask you... you see, I’m a little confused. I don’t really understand what you mean when you say ‘magic’. After all, even though you sometimes borrow their terminology, your magic isn’t exactly like the stuff you’d find in fantasy novels, right?”

The whole time I was talking, Miki continued watching me with those large round eyes of hers. Feeling uncomfortable, I dropped my gaze.

“I don’t really understand it, but I can’t just unconditionally accept it. At this rate, I might not ever be able to use magic.”

Miki was listening to me earnestly.

Upon hearing my denial of magic, would she take offence?

But Miki’s disposition didn’t sour. She quietly pierced a piece of freezer-aisle karaage with her fork.

“You know, I’ve been dragging you around and saying some pretty confusing things. I’m the reason you’re so confused. I have at least that much self-awareness.”

My eyes still downcast, she spoke again.

“Do you hate me for that?”

In response, I quickly shook my head.

“I mean, you’re doing it all with good intentions, right?”

Miki’s eyes widened slightly as if in surprise.

“You understood that?”

“Yeah.”

“Even though I was saying cryptic things, like that I’d protect you from magic or that I’d be your bodyguard?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s no way I was really conveying my good intentions by doing stuff like that...”

This time it was my turn to be surprised.

“So, you did realize you were being cryptic...”

If she realized how odd she was being, couldn’t she have just acted more normally in the first place? If she was afraid that I would come to hate her, wouldn’t it make sense to try getting to know me more normally?

“Well, ‘cuz... it’s like this. I had to take a gamble. The way I saw it, you were really in danger; someone else could have done you in with magic in the blink of an eye. That’s why I was in such a rush – I had to, like, get really close to you as quick as possible so you’d trust me.”

“And that’s why you were walking home with me and making me lunch and stuff?”

“Yup. But you see, I knew you wouldn’t reject me. Given your lack of magic resistance, I was confident I could get away with a little bit of coercion.”

“You mean people without magic resistance are back at rejection?”

“Hmm... it’s not like that’s a rule or anything, but that’s generally how it turns out. Once the two of us have a strong bond of mutual trust, by that point you’ll already be a splendid magus. Once you get to that point, you’ll be able to protect yourself from other people’s magic.”

There was no way that was the whole truth.

However, I was pretty sure Miki wasn’t saying it halfheartedly. I could tell how serious and earnest she was being.

Although I still wasn’t fully clear as to what Miki’s brand of magic entailed, I got the feeling that it had a strongly grounded concept. If that was the case, I had to deal with it as sincerely as possible.

“You really are Kouta, aren’t you.”

Peering at my face, Miki laughed happily.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing... Hey, that’s right! We still haven’t eaten yet!”

I was puzzled, but we wouldn’t make any progress if I questioned every little thing she did or said. So I did as prompted and began to eat my lunch.

The lunch had a notably brown hue, and an ordinary pair of chopsticks was bundled along with it. Looking at it, it was obvious the creator wasn’t used to cooking. And most of the items were store-bought. Well, it looked edible, if nothing else.

“Oh no... this is terrible...”

Miki, who was sitting beside me and picking at the same assortment of side dishes, clutched the sides of her head.

“I... think it’s pretty average, don’t you?”

“...Sorry. I messed up. You see, I’m actually pretty handy, and I can do most things pretty well. But this is... man, these carrots are too firm... and half of this is undercooked... Oh geez, I’m really sorry.”

“Couldn’t you use magic to make it better?”

“Excuse me? Are you just trying to pick a fight with me like that? You’re picking a fight, aren’t you?”

Grabbing my shoulder, she started shaking me back and forth. My head rattled from side to side. Miki seemed to find this amusing, and with a grin on her face refused to stop.

“You two look like you’re having a blast, for a couple of freshman shitstains.”

With a start, Miki turned to face the source of the malice-filled voice.

Sauntering towards us was a third year with long blond hair and dark roots. Although his fashion sense immediately outed him as a delinquent, his degeneracy didn’t seem nearly as refined as Masato’s. I quickly discerned that what set him off was seeing an unassuming guy like me eating lunch with a world-class girl like Miki.

The long-haired blond, who by now was beside us, looked down at Miki with the vulgar eyes of a small-time brute.

“Now that I look atcha up close, you’re hella fuckin’ hot.”

“...Thank you.”

“Hey, wanna go for a drive with me next Sunday? I just got my license, so I wanna hit the road.”

“I appreciate your kind invitation. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m busy that day.”

Putting on a sweetly smile, Miki diplomatically declined. I was impressed that someone as audacious as her could respond like that.

Although the long-haired blond initially narrowed his eyes in irritation, as he continued casting his viscous gaze at Miki, a crude smile began to slowly dance around his lips.

“Man, normally this is where I’d back off, but... You’re so damn hot I just can’t. I think I’ve fallen for ya already. Fuck, man, you gotta go out with me!”

Upon hearing this, Miki’s poker face broke down for the first time, and she grimaced.

“C’mon, you can’t just leave a guy hangin’ like that! ...Oh, that reminds me. You mind if I switch topics for a sec? You wouldn’t think a guy like me would give a shit, but I actually can’t fuckin’ stand people who disrespect public morals. I’m always thinkin’ about how I wanna stamp guys like that out. It’s like, uh, one of those world peace-type things.”

Although he was clearly violating several school regulations himself, he continued his speech.

“So the other day, right, I see these two second-years named Takahashi and Shinjou gettin’ it on after class. Man, my sense of justice flared up like you wouldn’t fucking believe. The campus is sacred, ya know, you can’t just go dirty it up by having sex here! And I’m like, I can’t just sit here and watch this. So I was thinkin’, the best thing to do would be to get them to break up. That shit’s what they call an illicit sexual relationship, man. So I brought over a couple of my buddies and we broke them up. But chicks are like, they can’t bear it if they don’t have a boyfriend, right? I felt super bad for her. Me and my buddies were worried Shinjou’d be all lonely, so to prevent that we decided to take turns being her lover. Well, until we got bored of her body, at least.”

This was bad. I may have called him a small-time brute, but it looked like I had underestimated his deviancy.

And unfortunately, I was a far cry from some protagonist who could easily take down a small fry; I was Student A, who was at his wit’s end at the mere sight of a delinquent.

“I’m like a demon who uphold the public morals. Looks like I might have to do the same thing here, huh.”

“Well... the two of us weren’t doing anything untoward.”

Although her reply was stout-hearted, Miki’s voice was trembling. It seemed that she too could do nothing but tremble, no matter how unrefined this delinquent’s brand of violence was.

“I guess you’re right. Well, I can let off the hook for becoming my lover this time. But ya gotta at least spend an evening with me. If you don’t, I get the feeling that your boyfriend there won’t be able to make it to school anymore... So, let me ask again.”

Having established just how dangerous he was, the long-haired blond asked again.

“You’ll go for a drive with me, won’tcha?”

“...If you insist.”

Miki answered him expressionlessly.

When I looked at her face, she was smiling.

“Don’t worry about me, Kouta. I’m a magus, I’m sure I can manage.”

There’s no way that was true. If she could use magic to do something about this situation, she would have done so already. And there’s no way she would be trembling so much.

“Oh yeah, I should clear it with your boyfriend. We all good?”

“I’m thinking.”

Frowning, I crossed my arms.

“By the way, is it really true that you want to make friends with Miki?”

“Hah?”

“I understand the desire to fulfill your sexual desires, I really do. I understand how strongly a person would want to have sex with a cute girl. But... if we compare how much you do want to how much Miki doesn’t want to, Miki’s desire not to is stronger. That’s the way I see it. So I’d really rather you didn’t.”

For some reason, the long-haired blond seemed taken aback.

“The fuck is this kid talking about?”

You asked “we all good?”, so I answered. That’s all there is to it...

It was clearly my job to stop him. Although I had only just met Miki, she was taking action on my behalf. But if I tried to oppose him with violence, I would just be met in kind and thoroughly outclassed. I had to consider retribution, as well. So what options did I have left?

For some reason, Masato’s catchphrase sprung to mind.

I wanna kill someone.

“Ryuusuke Yamazaki.”

I then heard a voice that belonged to the same person the catchphrase did. Although he wasn’t raising his voice, I could hear it from somewhere above me.

When I looked up, I could see Masato staring at us expressionlessly from the second-floor hallway window.

Masato pointed at me and spoke succinctly.

“He’s with me.”

Succinct as it was, that was sufficient for the blond, who was apparently named Yamazaki, to display an uncomfortable look on his face.

“...Hey, Yahara. Didn’t know this capybara-lookin’ kid was a friend of yours. It’s not like I was tryin’ to pick a fight with a buddy of yours or anythin’.”

“Uh huh.”

With a bored look on his face, Masato wandered away from the window.

Yamazaki was a vicious delinquent who casually terrorized the rest of the student body. But in spite of this, he seemed unable to turn on Masato despite the latter being a first-year.

It seemed I had unintentionally made friends in high places.

Scratching his head and frowning, Yamazaki whispered in my ear.

“If Masato’s sticking up for you, does that mean you’re the ‘manager’ I’ve heard so much about? Are you in the middle of ‘stocking up’?”

I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Well, no skin off my back. If you get any cute girls in, send ‘em my way, wouldja?”

Giving my back a firm thump, Yamazaki quickly strode off.

I turned to face Miki.

“Kouta.”

Rather than being relieved, Miki stared intently at my face. I had never seen her look this scared.

“I thought I understood, but you really are... Kouta, aren’t you. You really just see things the way they are.”

That’s... unlike her previous statements about “magic resistance,” that’s a little easier to understand.

“Look, I know he saved us this time around. And I’m sorry, but there’s something I have to say.”

Miki peered into my eyes.

“Please don’t spend any more time around that guy. I’d like you to also avoid that Yamazaki guy from just now, and a second-year named Matsumi too.”

I had no intention of breaking ties with Masato, so for now I just nodded.

But as if picking up on my noncommittal response, Miki heaved a heavy sigh.

“I really do need to protect you.”

Protect.

Let’s suppose for a moment that magic really was something capable of protecting me. Let’s suppose it’s something that could enrich my life.

Even if that’s the case, there’s something I can’t tell Miki.

I couldn’t really care less.

I couldn’t care less what happens to me.

I can’t really remember how I got to know Masato. We sat near each other in class, and before I knew it we were regularly chatting.

But I didn’t spend time with him outside of school. We never hung out together, and we didn’t chat on the phone. If we got put into different classes, it’s entirely possible we would stop interacting altogether. Barring that, even not sitting near each other might be enough to put a halt to our conversations.

But once, I think it was about two weeks ago? He called me to a park near my home at one in the morning.

Masato wouldn’t tell me, so I didn’t know what was going on, but when I got there I was startled by how haggard he seemed. I got the impression that it didn’t matter who, he just needed someone to talk to.

Atop a rusting jungle gym with an out-of-order sign plastered on it, the two of us held a rather aimless conversation. After glancing at the “no balls allowed” sign, the out-of-order vending machine, and the rather unenticing public restroom for the dozenth time, Masato gave an obviously fake laugh and quipped, “This fucking place is less a park and more of a cesspit.”

Atop the jungle gym, Masato took a drag from his cigarette as he toyed with a butterfly knife. Although he was a minor, he was no stranger to cigarettes, beer, and occasionally even harder drugs. However, he never offered me any. And even when he was engaging in such antisocial practices, he showed not a glimpse of enjoyment but the same bored expression as always.

The moon was so full that night I thought it might perhaps be a supermoon, and its illumination was clearly making Masato uncomfortable.

“Kou, whaddya see when you look up at the moon?”

I answered automatically.

“A rabbit.”

“You’re just saying that ‘cause everyone else does, right? Let’s be real, it doesn’t even look that much like a fucking rabbit.”

He was totally right. Looking back up at the moon again, I completely agreed.

“So what do you see?”

I generally tried to avoid answering questions like this, as I inevitably got mocked for my lack of imagination.

“To be blunt, the moon doesn’t look like much of anything to me.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean, I can’t really see the craters as anything but craters.”

But rather than mock me for my entirely mockable answer, Masato looked almost impressed.

“Huh, so that’s your angle.”

Seeming pleased, he lit another cigarette.

“Makes sense. Hell, if anything it’s weirder to assign meaning to shit like that.”

I wasn’t sure what he was so pleased about.

To fill the lull in the conversation, I asked a question of little import.

“Masato, why do you act like a delinquent?”

“You’re a cheeky little bastard. Normally if you asked a delinquent that, they’d beat you senseless.”

But Masato gave me a serious answer.

“I just didn’t know a way to resist it.”

It wasn’t a very concrete answer. But I could tell that Masato himself didn’t have anything firmer.

The conversation died down again, so I asked the next question that came to mind as I gazed upwards.

“What does the moon look like to you, Masato?”

Furrowing his brow, Masato tossed his cigarette aside.

“Whenever I look up, I get uneasy. Even though I know I can’t reach it, I wanna smash it. So on bright nights like these, I always just look at my feet.”

He put a new cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

“Feels like there’s a monster baring its fangs above me.”

Wrenching his face in despair, Masato whispered as if he were spitting out a mouthful of blood.

“Ahh... I wanna kill someone.”

“It’s been a while since we walked home together, Masato.”

We hadn’t planned it ahead of time. But our houses were in the same direction, and we were both in the so-called going home club, so we occasionally found ourselves walking together. The reason it had been so long was due to a certain magus attaching herself to my hip.

By the way, the magus in question had been invited somewhere today by her friend Sayuri, who apparently wouldn’t take no for an answer. Although I was surprised that Miki was able to make friends at all in the face of her blatant audacity, it turned out she was actually on good terms with most of the girls in her class. Of course, this was self-reported, so I had no way of confirming whether it was true or not.

By the way, when I expressed my surprise at the size of her friend group, Miki got rather indignant. She then went on an incomprehensible lecture about how maintaining the unstable bonds of female friendship was part of magic’s wheelhouse or something. Well, her communication skills were exceptional, so perhaps it wasn’t so strange after all.

“You’re thinking about that chick again, aren’tcha. You’re fucking engrossed.”

“Kinda.”

“You’re supposed to deny it, man, I’m just fucking with you.”

After letting him know that I had, in fact, been thinking about her, Masato gave off a sigh while smirking.

“Go figure.”

Without breaking his smirk, Masato continued.

“Ya know, that magus freak told me to stay away from you the other day.”

“Really? Miki did?”

Masato’s eyes reflected their assent.

“I told you, right? Kouzuki and I will never get along. She fucking hates me.”

That reminded me. Miki had told me to stop spending time with Masato.

“Are you sure you didn’t just make fun of magic or something?”

“I might’ve.”

“C’mon!”

“But this and that don’t have jack shit to do with each other. She just can’t stand the two of us being around each other.”

The word “jealousy” sprung to mind, but Miki had really just been one-sidedly meddling in my affairs.

All she could think about was magic.

“I guess you being around me gets in the way of her plan to make me into a magus?”

“That’s pretty much on the mark.”

I was surprised at Masato’s matter-of-fact answer.

“Wait, do you understand what she means by ‘magic’? Is that why you can tell why she hates you?”

Masato’s brows furrowed.

“Hmm... it’s not like I understand it per se. But us not being able to see eye-to-eye shakes out to about the same thing.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“I mean, you’re starting to get an idea of what her magic is, right? She’s been dragging you around for two damn weeks now.”

“...Sort of.”

“Vaguely” was about the level my understanding capped out at.

It was just like translating English into Japanese; coming up with a word to describe magic was difficult. But I could tell by now that it wasn’t “sorcery” or “witchcraft”.

As far as I could tell, the kind of magic Miki was talking about generally referred to something along the lines of “imposition of notions.”

But it wasn’t just brainwashing, where you could impose things forcibly. Things like daily habits and cultural norms, where they took root before you even noticed, were also included in her definition of magic. Miki’s vision of a magus was likely someone who could freely manipulate the notions of others. When she said I didn’t have any magic resistance, what she meant was that I was in danger because my notions would change so readily.

But I couldn’t understand what made people without magic resistance better at becoming magi. I didn’t see why spend time around Masato would keep me from becoming one, either. I felt like there was still quite a bit to magic that I didn’t understand.

“Quit thinkin’.”

Speaking rudely, Masato lightly jabbed my solar plexus.

“No good’ll come of a dumbass thinking too hard.”

“Surely there’s a kinder way to put that.”

Masato tilted his head with a playful look on his face. But just as I was thinking that, his expression grew grave.

“Honestly, some of the stuff Kouzuki’s talkin’ about has merit. Even I’d rather you go be a happy-go-lucky magus freak than a homicidal delinquent.”

“What? I mean, I’d really rather not become either...”

I responded with a light-hearted joke, but Masato’s intense expression didn’t fade.

“Well, if you don’t think about it too much you can probably stay just the way you are.”

“Kusukusu...kusukusukusu...”

We heard a peculiar laugh that sounded as if someone were exhaling through a gap in their teeth.

The two of us turned our heads. Behind us stood a short girl. Her jet-black hair hung down in braids in the back, with her bangs were cut at a diagonal slant. I could infer from her sailor uniform’s green ribbon that she was a second-year. While that meant that she was older than us, her childlike face gave off a very different impression. That, combined with her innocent expression, would have led me to believe in an instant if I were told she was a grade-schooler. Upon closer inspection, though, her bust was large enough to leave a thoroughly immoral impression.

But her most notable characteristic was her peculiar eyes. Although they were as just as black as her hair, they seemed somehow out of focus and were oddly reminiscent of a rainbow.

“You two are quite interesting.”

There was nobody else around, so it seemed the unfamiliar upperclassman was addressing us.

“Hello.”

With the expression of a pleased child, she gave a quick bow. I returned the greeting.

“...Masato, do you know her?”

Pulling a wry face, Masato shook his head.

“Kusukusu... you really are interesting!”

Her smile was innocent. But it was strange. In fact, it was so innocent, it was unsettling.

“Whaddya want?”

Masato spit out the question in his usual aggressive manner, but the upperclassman showed no sign of fear. Nor did she even seem to mind. It seemed like she was a bit slow when it came to interpreting other people’s emotions.

“Oh, Ririko was just thinking how she wanted to become good friends with Hiiragi!”

It seemed she knew my last name.

Although she had called us “interesting,” I quickly realized that she was paying little attention to us. Her gaze seemed to be drifting all over.

“What did you find so interesting? Our conversation?”

“Yes. Aaaand no.”

Her voice dripped with saccharine. But it wasn’t the type of flirtatious saccharine that Miki occasionally put on for play.

It was like a child’s. Not just that, but her behavior and expressions were like those of a child as well.

“What’s so interesting about you two are the call signs you’re giving off.”

“...Call signs?”

“Yup. Call signs.”

Although I parroted her words back at her, no explanation was forthcoming. It felt as though she thought her manner of speaking were the most natural thing in the world.

As if striking upon something, Masato suddenly asked her a question.

“Hey, are you that Ririko Matsumi chick?”

“Oh, yes. Ririko is Ririko, of course.”

Without any questions as to how Masato knew her name, the upperclassman named Ririko Matsumi nodded.

“Masato, who is she?”

“Her name gets around. You can guess why, right?”

Indeed. If this was representative of her standard behavior, it was no surprise that people would have heard of her.

Oh, right. Now I think about it, “Matsumi” was also on the list of people Miki told me to stay away from. And on top of that, I vaguely remembered hearing rumors about her somewhere.

“Interesting, aren’t they? White and ultramarine, huh. Aren’t most people orange? But you two are different. Ririko likes white, you know. Makes her want to do something.”

Unable to contain her excitement, Matsumi-senpai continued.

“Hey, hey, can Ririko read you?”

“Read me?”

I parroted her words again.

“Oh, that’s right. Most people can’t do scanning. But, but, you see, Ririko can do scanning!”

Puffing up her chest proudly, she spread her hands as if to say “here I go!”

In a flash, her innocent expression vanished.

It was replaced with something inhuman, almost mannequin-like.

A strange voice. A voice that couldn’t quite be said to be coming from her throat. The noise sounded exactly like that of a machine, but it was clearly emanating from her half-open mouth.

As if being infiltrated by darkness, her eyes slowly lost their light. They lost their focus and seemed to stop perceiving altogether. But I could tell. Even though they were out of focus, they were holding me tight in their gaze and refusing to let go. As if I were afflicted with paralysis, I was unable to so much as wiggle a fingertip.

What was going on?

Still frozen in shock, I could see Masato out of the corner of my eye. Although Masato despised other people showing weakness around him, he was simply staring speechless.

Everything about this was abnormal.

“Beep bibibi, bip bip bibeep.”

As if it were travelling not through my eardrums but through my bones, I could feel the noise resound within my body. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from anymore. Coming not from in front of me, nor behind me, nor beside me or above me, that mechanical noise simply wrapped around me and continued resonating.

Beep bibibi, bip bip bibeep.

The noise rang in concert with my very cells. My entire body trembled with stinging pain, almost as if I were being scalded.

I still couldn’t move my legs. I couldn’t move at all. It had transformed from paralysis into sheer violence. A paralysis so strong it felt as though my body were bound with electric cables. Cables that both bound me and tore me to pieces. They exposed me, comprehended me, bound up my insides and scattered them.

While exposing my everything, those eyes continued holding me. Capturing everything, yet reflecting nothing. Eyes that were both jet-black and snow white.

“Scanning complete.”

As Matsumi-senpai said that, the scenery returned and the world began turning once more. Of course, I knew that the scenery had never left. The only thing that had changed was me. For just that moment, the “me” who was able to perceive that scenery was changed.

Only a few seconds should have passed. But those seconds felt so dense that I would have believed if I was told that hours or even days had passed.

A breath.

Good... I took a breath.

I can still breathe.

“Well then, next up is...”

The innocent girl’s eyes turned to Masato.

“Ah—”

Masato’s eyes were wide open. I had never seen him like this before.

Matsumi-senpai’s eyes, which by now had returned to their original color, steadily became black and white again.

“...don’t.”

“Beep bi—”

“DON’T!!”

Masato screamed.

In response to his ragged breathing and scared demeanor, Matsumi-senpai lips began to quiver.

“You don’t have to shout like that, you know...”

Despite being the source of Masato’s terror, she simply pouted, seemingly as indifferent as ever to the emotions of others.

“Excuse me, Matsumi-senpai, what was that just now...?”

“Hold on, hold on. Ririko’s going to put it into words now.”

Matsumi-senpai stood still, her mouth hanging lazily half-open.

She stayed in that state for a little while, not so much as moving a muscle.

“Kouta Hiiragi, age fifteen.”

Still expressionless, her mouth began moving, and like a machine began speaking.

“Lives with his parents and younger sister. Lives in a room with a skylight on the second floor of an old single-family home. Has many friends, but no close friends. Values emotional distance. Has recently begun courting a member of the opposite sex. Virgin. Gets tired when conversing with others. Largely apathetic towards himself.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. But as she went on, it became clear that she was talking about me.

“Unconsciously rejects his mother due to her hysterical temperament. Receives mixed messages from his father. Neither parent approaches parenting with any degree of consistency. His sister enjoys killing cats. Has been ordered by his family to deal with the cat corpses. Will listen to anything he is told. Susceptible to brainwashing. Versatile. Abnormally good at understanding the value systems of others. Has no self, so regards others with-”

“Th... that’s enough! Matsumi-senpai, please cut it out!”

I raised my voice, almost to a scream, and Matsumi-senpai, whose eyes had been open this whole time, finally blinked. Her expression began coming back.

“So? So? How was that? How’d you like my scanning? Did Ririko get that all right?”

She looked like a proud kindergartener asking how good her crayon drawing was. Knowing that it would make her happy, I decided to humor her and nodded vigorously.

I didn’t want to listen to this anymore.

I didn’t want to learn anything about myself.

“Senpai, can we go now?”

For some reason, Masato seemed exhausted.

“Whaaat? But Ririko wanted to chat more! He’s white, after all! He’s the only one!”

“Sorry, but we got places to be.”

“Ririko understands... Well, Ririko guesses it can’t be helped then.”

Matsumi-senpai’s shoulders slumped.

“Ririko guesses she’ll see you later then, Tanihara.”

His lips pursed, Masato scowled at Matsumi-senpai.

“Huh? Aren’t you Tanihara?”

“It’s read ‘Yahara’, Senpai.”

“You’re kidding! Ririko wonders why she made that mistake... Ririko wonders if it’s because the scanning stopped partway? Oh, by the way! Ririko doesn’t normally make that kind of mistake! Ririko's normally always right!”

Waving both her hands, Matsumi-senpai gave an odd excuse.

But neither of us could muster the energy for a rebuttal, so we simply turned and walked away.

Walking in silence, we passed through a deserted shopping district, with almost half the stores shuttered up. I felt like my feet couldn’t quite reach the ground. I was filled with an unpleasant floating sensation.

What exactly was that “scanning”? Wasn’t that magic? And a foul magic at that, one that overturned every value I once held.

It felt like the world was shaking. Although there was no heat haze to speak of, I was having difficulty telling exactly where the ground was. It was as if I should have able to fly, but for some absurd reason the cracked concrete was shackling me to the earth.

Perhaps it was a childish delusion. But... that’s right. Ririko Matsumi had no such restrictions. And perhaps she was so absurd a person as to truly believe she could fly.

“Kou.”

Breaking the silence, Masato spoke.

“Get this through your head. Don’t talk to that birdbrain ever again. She’ll be a bad influence on you, got it?”

I wasn’t sure what harm a simple conversation could do, but Masato looked dead serious, so I just responded with a firm nod.

Honestly, I was surprised that Masato would show such concern for me. He reminded me of Miki.

“Masato, did you understand what was going on with that scanning thing?”

“... not even a little.”

I see. So he had “not even a little” desire to explain it to me, huh.

But even knowing that, I didn’t feel the need to press the issue. If he didn’t want to tell me, it wasn’t like I could make him.

The traffic light in front of us turned red.

We stopped.

“Fuck.”

Masato spit out a small expletive and began chewing on his lip.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why the hell’d we stop?”

“The light was red, wasn’t it?”

“There’s no cars here.”

I looked both ways to verify his statement. Indeed, there were no automobiles in sight.

“...Then do you want to cross?”

“That’s not what I’m talking about... that’s not what I’m fucking talking about. I’m asking why I stopped.”

I was perplexed. What was Masato so irritated about?

“Well, red means stop, so obviously we’d stop, right?”

“Right. Even though we coulda crossed, we stopped just because that’s how it works.”

Masato began scratching at his head, almost as if he were trying to plug up his ears.

“Masato, is something the matter? Is it because of that upperclassman?”

“...Yeah, I guess. There’s something wrong with me right now. There’d have to be for me to talk to you like this, huh.”

The light turned green.

“Masato, let’s go.”

“Right...”

As he began walking, I could see Masato’s expression surpass irritation and shift to rage. He was scratching at himself to an abnormal degree. The expression he was giving made it seem as if his entire body were swarming with caterpillars and they were digging under his skin to lay eggs.

With no change in demeanor, Masato spoke.

“Ahh... I wanna kill someone.”

I could tell.

We were past the point of no return.

The day after our encounter with Ririko Matsumi, Masato didn’t show up at school.

That wasn’t too strange in and of itself. Masato had skipped school twice in that past for little to no reason. But given the state he had been in yesterday, I couldn’t help but be concerned.

I wanna kill someone.

He was just saying it like he always did, right?

“Good morning, Kouta.”

I heard a voice I was now fairly used to. I turned my head and responded.

“Good morning, Miki.”

“...Yahara isn’t here today, huh.”

Her voice lacked its usual pluck. Her expression also seemed somewhat gloomy.

“What’s wrong? You seem out of sorts.”

“You can tell?”

Giving a weak smile, Miki heaved a sigh.

‘You can tell?’, huh.

It was obvious that she was wearing her lack of energy on her face to elicit my concern. But I kept that to myself and simply nodded.

“Would you mind coming to the courtyard with me, Kouta?”

“Right now?”

There wasn’t that much time left before class began.

“Yeah... there’s something I want to talk to you about, and I’d rather not be overheard.”

In other words, it was a matter of some importance. That was what Miki was trying to convey. She was extraordinarily skilled at conveying her intentions to others.

So I put on an obedient expression.

The sky was overcast and it looked liable to start raining at any moment, so the courtyard was unpleasantly chilly. The scent of earth mingled with the humidity, and I felt as though I might choke.

Regardless of the fact that she herself was the one who called us here, Miki simply hung her head in silence. It created an oddly docile atmosphere.

“Miki, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Although I tried to break the ice, Miki still just cast her eyes down. Realizing that I should wait for her to speak, I did just that.

“...I’m really just a bother, aren’t I.”

That was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

“I’m not blind. I can at least tell that I’m a bother...”

“Um... what’s this, all of a sudden?”

Even if Miki had realized that she was being bothersome, she had gone to some lengths to feign airheadedness and conceal it.

“I spent all day yesterday thinking about how I could deal with this without having to do something wrong.”

I wasn’t sure what brought about this abrupt change of heart. All I knew was that I shouldn’t point out the fact that it was a change of heart. If I did, Miki would become difficult to deal with.

Miki’s eyes grew watery, and she seemed to put herself on guard.

As far as I was concerned, that was much more worrying than the actual words coming out of her mouth.

“What do you mean by something ‘wrong’?”

“Pushing magic on you would be wrong. I know that people laugh at me and call me delusional. But even so, I was trying to forcibly push my value system on you.”

I didn’t really care about that. And Miki should have known that.

“But, you know... even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I couldn’t bear watching you turn into an insane magus! I just couldn’t!”

Her eyes still moist, she spoke with conviction.

I couldn’t say anything. As I still didn’t fully comprehend magic, I couldn’t understand what Miki was saying. But that aside, in the face of Miki’s staunch earnestness, I felt it would be improper to interject, so I couldn’t say anything.

“So I’ve been thinking.”

Miki took my right hand and embraced it in hers. My heart began pounding at the unexpected feel of her touch. Miki peered at me with teary eyes.

It felt very intentional. She was intentionally manipulating my heartrate. But in her eyes, I could see her slyness tinged with indecision.

Closing her eyes for the first time in some time, Miki let out a long sigh. I could feel her grip on my hand tighten ever-so-slightly.

...How strange. I felt a warmth other than simple body heat transfer from her hands to mine. If she told me that it was part of her magic, I wouldn’t doubt it for a second.

Miki opened her eyes again.

They were filled with resolution.

They seemed to be entreating me.

“Kouta... do you think you could fall for me?”

Her unexpected question left me speechless.

“Or is that impossible, I wonder...”

It was, quite clearly, a confession.

Perhaps to an outsider, confessing in this situation might seem completely natural. But as the party in question, I could tell how unhealthy it was.

After all, Miki was simply trying to protect me. It wasn’t as if she held any romantic feelings towards me. I understood that much.

“Am I... no good?”

“Th... that’s not it at all! You’re extremely charming, Miki!”

Reflexively, I gave Miki the exact response she was looking for.

Of course, it was true that she was charming. Her looks would make her at home in any idol group, and although she was selfish, she had a timidly side to her that obsessively took the needs of the others into consideration as well.

But that was nothing more than an objective observation. What did I personally think of her?

To begin with...

Under what circumstances would I fall for a girl?

“Do you think you could fall for me?”

“That’s...”

Even though I knew what answer she was looking for, I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“...Kouta, you’re a guy, right?”

“Well, yes.”

“Even if you only want me for my body, if that’s enough to get you to fall for me, I’m... okay with that.”

Miki’s eyes then widened.

“S...sorry! I said something really weird! But... I really do want you to fall for me! Even if that’s what it takes!”

I couldn’t comprehend it. I couldn’t comprehend why she would go to such lengths.

...No, that’s not true. For the sake of magic, she would go to any lengths. She felt the need to do something about me and my lack of magic resistance. Even if it meant sacrificing her own chastity, she had to protect the notion of magic.

Miki wouldn’t be Miki if she didn’t abide by her magic.

But even recognizing that, I was still uneasy. Although I couldn’t put it to words, there was something that didn’t sit right with me.

There was one thing I was sure of, though. Regardless of how it looked, Miki sought me. Knowing that, how could I turn down her confession?

The answer was simple. I couldn’t.

“I will fall for you. So you don’t have to say weird stuff like that anymore.”

Miki’s eyes widened, and she stared straight at me.

“So you mean we’re going out now?”

“Yup.”

“You’re okay with this? I’m going to be your first girlfriend, right? Are you okay with it being me? You can’t take it back, you know that, right? You know you’ll take on my attribute, right?”

“Like I said, I’m fine with that.”

Before my eyes, Miki’s expression brightened.

“Really? You’re really okay with this? ...Yay. Yay!”

The teary expression she had been displaying up until a moment ago vanished like it had never been there, and she broke into a radiant smile. Seeing it, I was convinced I had made the right decision and was filled with relief.

I was fine with this.

“Yay! Thanks so much, Kouta! I look forward to our continued times together!”

Miki merrily shook my hand up and down.

My discomfort didn’t fade, but there was one thing I knew for sure. From now on, Miki and I would spend a great deal more time together. Little by little, we would stop holding back around each other. My days would be fulfilling, and I might even earn the jealousy of my peers. That was the shape my life would take from now on.

I recognized this, and accepted it without resistance.

Just according to Miki’s script.

A week had passed since Miki’s confession. Unsurprisingly, we had grown a good deal closer, but Miki hardly behaved as if we were lovers and instead treated me much the same as before. So I did the same.

But Miki the object of no small amount of attention. The fact that we were dating quickly became public and rapidly circulated throughout the school. Even if the way we treated each other didn’t change, the way the people around us reacted did. Feeling cramped by the way the people around me forced their definitions onto us, even my awareness of our relationship began to gradually shift. Before long, pressure from the peanut gallery would likely transform us into a conventional boyfriend and girlfriend.

I see. So Miki formally asked me out knowing that this would happen.

“Well then, I look forward to another week together!”

“Yup. See you later.”

As we parted at the usual street, Miki exaggeratedly waved me goodbye. I smiled at her and returned the wave.

Miki and I had made plans to spend the day at her house on the Sunday of next week. Although she had said that her parents would be out of the house, I harbored no improper expectations. Or did I? What did I want to become of my relationship with Miki?

Honestly, there was something I was much more concerned about than our relationship.

Masato.

Masato still hadn’t shown up at school. He wasn’t returning my calls, and my LINE messages to him were marked unread. Dropping out of school would have been in-character for him, so his non-attendance wasn’t strange in and of itself. But based on his demeanor from the last time we talked, I was concerned something bad had happened to him.

“You aren’t with Tanihara today?”

Right, after we met the owner of that voice, Masato started acting strangely. The first time she showed up, his gears began coming undone.

With a childish smile, Ririko Matsumi ignored my stiff expression and spoke in a lively voice.

“Hello, Hiiragi!”

“...Hello. But Senpai, his name is Yahara, not Tanihara.”

“Ah, right. It was, wasn’t it.”

Matsumi-senpai laughed, as if she were pleased about something.

“Do you live in this direction as well, Senpai?”

“Nope, Ririko chased after you because she wanted to chat! You seemed like you were having fun talking to Kouzuki, so Ririko decided not to interrupt you. Admirable of me, huh?”

It seemed she had decided to follow me.

“Mhm. You really are an interesting color, Hiiragi. But you’re a little yellower than you were before. I wonder if that’s Kouzuki’s fault? Was it because you were flirting with her, maybe? I don’t like it. I’d really rather you stayed white.”

As always, she was off in her own world.

“Is Miki not an interesting color? After all, she’s quite the character.”

“Hmm. Having a bit of pink in you is rare and all, but I think I’ve seen a color like that before. Anyways, it’s not much to look at.”

Perhaps Miki was less of a character than I thought? I wasn’t really sure what to make of this whole call sign business.

“Ririko wanted to chat with Yahara as well, but she hasn’t seen him at all since then...”

“I haven’t seen him either. I don’t even know what he’s up to these days.”

For some reason, Matsumi-senpai tilted her head at those words.

“You don’t know what he’s up to? Even though you’re his friend? You don’t have awful reception, do you?”

“Reception?”

“Yeah, reception. ...Haven’t you heard of reception?”

I was of course familiar with the word, but the context Matsumi-senpai was using it in eluded me.

“Then do you want Ririko to look into it for you? She had to stop scanning him partway through, but... Ririko has pretty high fidelity, you see, so she thinks it’ll be okay! She can find Yahara!”

“You can find... you mean you know where he is?”

“Of course Ririko does! Ririko isn’t a child, you know!”

Apparently to Matsumi-senpai, not being able to do this reception thing was on the same level as not being able to ride a bike.

“Ah... but you don’t get reception, Hiiragi? Umm... don’t worry! Ririko has times when she can’t really get a sense for it, either! Don’t let it get you down!”

For some reason I was being cheered up.

“Here, Ririko will go over the basics. See, there are these things floating around in the air, right? Ririko doesn’t really know what they’re called... Particles? Electrons? Wi-Fi? Anyways, you have to catch a bunch of them on your body. It’ll feel like they’re sticking to your skin, you know? Next, they’ll go like, bzzzt, and you’ll start seeing a faint picture, and you have to focus on that picture reaaal carefully. But you already knew that, right?”

There was no way I could have known that, but I kept my comments to myself.

“But see, the next part’s the tricky bit. Finding the picture you want’s tough, right? When Ririko does it, she flies way up high. Ririko’s really good at flying, so she can look out over the whole city. Then, it’ll be something related to the information you want — so in this case, that would be something related to Yahara. Once you find that, the reception is complete!”

“...Did you say ‘flying’?”

There were countless faults to pick with her explanation, so I chose the one I found most concerning.

“...? Flying in the sky, you know?”

It seemed my question fell on deaf ears. Apparently to Matsumi-senpai, being able to fly was just as obvious as being able to breathe.

“Alrighty, let’s see if we can get reception.”

As soon as she said that, it was like a switch flipped.

Those eyes again.

Those jet-black eyes, dripping with viscosity, appeared before me again.

“...Bzz bzz...bzz...bzzt...bzz...”

Noise filtered through her half-open mouth. Occasionally her shoulders would tremble slightly, as if she were convulsing.

Ah, this person’s broken.

That was what I thought of her inner workings.

The first thing I was confident in was the fact that her value system didn’t operate according to the same logic as the rest of humanity’s. She had a culture all her own. Similar to worshippers in a cult, she put her faith in nonsensical theories. She was closed off from the rest of the world, much too far away for any to reach. She lived in a lonely little world.

But in spite of that, her noise easily reached my ears.

An encroachment by her closed world.

Perhaps the sounds I initially thought meaningless were a kind of language. After all, the noise had a certain regularity to it. It wasn’t nonsensical. The sound of “Bzz bzz bzz...bzzt bzzt...bzz” reverberated through my skin and sunk into my pores. Aggressively so. Forcefully so. It stung like a box cutter. In the face of such a blade, no doubt anyone would flee in pain.

But I couldn’t run from it. I didn’t know how to.

So instead, I tried to understand Ririko Matsumi.

The noise was touching me.

The noise was touching me.

I had to clearly envision it. I had to translate her world into an image I could comprehend.

It was a world where everything - the earth, the sea, the sky - was made of electrical cords. Cords of all lengths and sizes, wriggling like snakes, ferociously binding all of mankind. In that world, the cords were gleefully torturing me. The cords were forcibly invading my throat, my nostrils, my urethra, and my toenails and making them their own. It hurt. Stop it. I’m human!

Having envisioned enough, I shook my head vigorously and drove away the translated world.

“Ah...! Haa...haa...”

That was dangerous. If I had dove any deeper, Matsumi-senpai would have disassembled me and I’d have been taken over by her image. If that happened, I knew I wouldn’t be able to return to normal.

Ah, I see. That’s why both Miki and Masato told me to stay away from Matsumi-senpai.

“...Bzz...bzz......huh?”

Color returned to Matsumi-senpai’s eyes.

Taking a deep breath to calm my heart, I asked her.

“What happened?”

“Well... For some reason, Ririko couldn’t get any reception. How odd... even if the scanning stopped halfway, she should have enough information to get reception...”

She looked rather sad.

“Ririko wonders if she’s become awful at reception...”

She couldn’t get reception.

Matsumi-senpai’s proclamations were becoming less and less coherent. And yet her words filled me with a strange sense of dread.

“Does that happen often?”

“Not at all lately! Really! Th- that’s why this is so odd! It’s not Ririko’s fault... probably...!”

Her head bobbed about like a child giving an excuse. It was hard to believe that she had simply failed. I could sense that her noise just now had had a proper regularity to it.

“If the fault doesn’t lie with you, might there be some problem on Masato’s side that’s making the reception fail?”

“Ah, Ririko sees. That’s probably it. Maybe Yahara’s information was overwritten since Ririko scanned him the other day.”

“His information was overwritten? Is that a thing that can happen?”

“Sometimes. You know the saying ‘people can change,’ right? So call signs themselves can change too.”

If Masato’s value system changed in such a span, could that have something to do with his inattendance?

What could he have done to make himself change so drastically?

Ahh... I wanna kill someone.

“...Ah.”

No, let’s not be hasty. Even if, hypothetically, it was the result of Masato fulfilling that wish of his, could that really change a man with as strong of homicidal urges as him? ...Ahh, it might. Such a transient desire being put into a definite form could be said to be a change in and of itself.

“Hiiragi, you’ve been quiet for a while now. What’s up?”

It was right in front of me.

I understood it now.

Her scanning wasn’t some fantastical delusion, nor was her reception.

“Senpai, would you mind telling me Masato’s information from back when you scanned him?”

“Ririko doesn’t mind, but... the scanning was only half done, remember? It might be buggy. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” I nodded.

“You got it. Let me just translate it into Japanese.”

As she said that, she stiffened down to her fingertips. By now I was used to this unblinking visage of hers.

Acclimatization. Was I acclimating again?

“Masato Tanihara, age 16.”

Once again, Matsumi-senpai mistook Masato’s surname for “Tanihara”. Perhaps in importing the data, Masato’s name had been misinterpreted.

“Both parents are alive but neither parent interferes with him. No siblings. Rejects others. Regards almost all other humans with contempt. Afflicted with auditory hallucinations. Can hear the noise more clearly when around people he dislikes. For example, Shuuichi Akiyama. Is perplexed as to why he does not hear the noise from Ririko Matsumi. Believes that he wants to kill someone. Believes that he wants to kill someone. Wants to kill someone. Wants to kill someone. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill. Wants to kill—”

“Th-that’s enough!”

Something was clearly amiss, so I shook Matsumi-senpai by the shoulders. But like a broken record, she just kept saying “wants to kill.”

“Wants to kill... ah... aHh... wants to ahHH! Ah! Ahh! Stop! Make it stop!”

“S... Senpai!”

“It’s filthy! Masato Tanihara is filthy! Why can’t he just go crazy!?”

It was obvious from her exclamations that Matsumi-senpai was in agony. Her eyes no longer seemed mechanical, nor did they seem human.

They simply expressed pain.

“Wh... why...”

Those painful eyes stared straight at me.

“How can you stand to be around someone like him...?”

Seeing Matsumi-senpai like this, I felt like I could understand her a little better.

She was certainly operating under a different logical framework then the rest of us. But the person underneath all that was still human. If she forced herself to emulate something abnormal like that, her condition would quickly take a turn for the worse. An error would occur.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Letting out a shrill scream, she collapsed to the ground. Flopping around like an eel, she began vomiting.

“Senpai!”

Matsumi-senpai was writhing in a pool of her own vomit and convulsing erratically. A strange yellow fluid began oozing out of her tear glands. After convulsing a little longer, she eventually stopped moving altogether. She reminded me of a lizard tail that remained moving even after being severed.

“A... are you alright?”

I put some space between us before calling out to her, slightly alarmed by her bizarre behavior. She didn’t respond, but I could tell that she was at least breathing. After hesitantly approaching her, I felt her wrist. Her pulse was accelerated, but not to the point where it seemed she would be in danger.

I called for an ambulance, and while looking after her, considered the question I had just been posed.

“How can I stand to be around him, huh?”

I would never say it out loud, let alone around Matsumi-senpai or Masato, but Masato was alone. His classmates were a given, but even his family held him at an arm’s length. The more someone got to know him, the more they would realize that his madness was the real deal.

The reason I was around him... was simply because I couldn’t leave, nothing more.

But...

“I’m probably the only person in the world like that.”

The week came and went, and Masato was still nowhere to be seen. Although I searched for him in my own way, I couldn’t so much as find a clue.

Matsumi-senpai was still recuperating from her hospitalization and hadn’t shown up at school either. There was something she had mentioned that I couldn’t get out of my mind that I wanted to ask her about, but her absence made that impossible.

What caught my attention was a name that had come up in the scanning’s translation.

The name “Shuuichi Akiyama.”

“You seem really restless today, Kouta.”

Miki remarked with a concerned frown.

“...Do I?”

“Yeah. It’s like you’re only half here.”

True to his diligent nature, Akiyama was always the first person to show up for class.

But as far as today went, Akiyama had yet to show up at school.

The man who Masato hated so intensely that his name came up in the scanning had yet to show up at school.

I was probably overthinking it. Even Akiyama could get sick, and it wasn’t inconceivable that he might simply oversleep.

Ahh... I wanna kill someone.

There’s no way.

There’s no way that’s the case.

“You really aren’t paying any attention. You’ve been glancing over at the door for forever.”

Having this called to my attention, I apologize to Miki.

“...You’re worried about Yahara, right? You’re looking over at the door because you’re hoping he’ll show up.”

She was half right. But right now, I was hoping for Akiyama to show up even more.

Ahh... I wanna kill someone.

Anyone in the class would probably have heard him say it at least once. But despite their fear of him, most simply wrote it off as edgy nonsense.

But I knew better.

Every time he said it, Masato meant it.

It was a phrase designed to encourage a man who found himself unable to cross that line. Masato, who so disgusted Matsumi-senpai, who put Miki on such guard, was the real deal.

That’s right — I had been able to grasp Masato for quite some time.

Suddenly, the bell rang. But Akiyama’s usual command to take our seats wasn’t forthcoming.

“Now that you mention it, it doesn’t look like the class rep’s here today, huh.”

I froze at Miki’s words, but she was looking at the clock, not at me.

“Welp, I should be heading back now. Let’s give it our all today!”

As a result, she didn’t notice my change and cheerfully stood up and left.

The other side of my conversation now gone, I closed myself away in my heart. But I myself wasn’t there. Inside my heart were other people. Countless other people.

And among them, the one with the largest presence was that man I had been grasping onto.

Although he was grinning, he didn’t seem the least bit pleased. The words that sprung forth from that pained smile were much what one would expect.

Ahh... I wanna kill someone.

I hadn’t realized it was possible to so anxiously await a homeroom teacher’s arrival. Based on his personality, if Akiyama was sick or running late, he would no doubt have contacted the school to inform them. Once the teacher arrived, all of my uneasiness would be put to rest.

But they still weren’t here. It had already been ten minutes since the bell had rung.

Time seemed to be violently slowing down, and my heart was beating so loudly I could hear it echo in my ears. As if the second hand was putting on airs, the minutes refused to pass.

Another ten minutes passed, and the teacher still hadn’t shown up.

The classes on either side of mine were still raucous. Did that mean that our homeroom teacher wasn’t the only one who had yet to show up? Did the staff meeting run over? And if it had, why?

I was so confident in my ill premonition that it gave me chills. Upon holding my head in my hands, I finally heard footsteps.

The door to the classroom swung open. But the homeroom teacher didn’t enter alone. For some reason, the principle was accompanying them.

Both of them wore very intentional grave expressions, almost as if they knew they had to.

“Erm... I have a very serious announcement to make to all of you, so please make sure you remain calm.”

The principal began speaking.

“Just now, we received contact from the police... And be assured, we are all just as alarmed as you are...”

I already knew the answer. I knew quite clearly what the principal was about to say. So I couldn’t muster up nearly as much shock at the word “homicide” as my classmates did.

Translator's Notes and References

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