Difference between revisions of "We Don't Open Anywhere: Miki Kouzuki's Closed World (I)"

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==Miki Kouzuki's Closed World (I)==
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== Miki Kouzuki's Closed World (I) ==
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<div class=WordSection1>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I was talking to Kouta, who was occasionally
+
I was talking to Kouta, who was occasionally staring off into the distance, amidst the hustle and bustle of the pre-homeroom classroom.
staring off into the distance, amidst the hustle and bustle of the pre-homeroom
 
classroom.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>It was June 19th. Two weeks had passed since
+
It was June 19th. Two weeks had passed since Masato Yahara’s body had been found.
Masato Yahara’s body had been found.</span></p>
 
   
  +
The murder, king of all scandals, sent ripples throughout the school. But contrary to my expectations, the ripples faded within a week. The reason was that Yahara had always been something of an untouchable delinquent, avoided by his schoolmates due to being perceived as an abnormal individual. Thus the event was simply perceived as an “abnormal individual” becoming involved in “abnormal incident,” allowing interest in the entire affair to quickly fade. It was like a gangster getting killed; insufficient to pique the interest of the public.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>The murder, king of all scandals, sent ripples
 
throughout the school. But contrary to my expectations, the ripples faded
 
within a week. The reason was that Yahara had always been something of an
 
untouchable delinquent, avoided by his schoolmates due to being perceived as an
 
abnormal individual. Thus the event was simply perceived as an “abnormal
 
individual” becoming involved in “abnormal incident,” allowing interest in the
 
entire affair to quickly fade. It was like a gangster getting killed;
 
insufficient to pique the interest of the public.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>The school had already returned to its daily
+
The school had already returned to its daily routine, everything working normally.
routine, everything working normally.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But there was one exception.</span></p>
+
But there was one exception.
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>The fact that that exception was Kouta went
+
The fact that that exception was Kouta went without saying.
without saying.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Kouta, Yahara’s sole friend, was dragging out
+
Kouta, Yahara’s sole friend, was dragging out his death.
his death.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Looks like they still haven’t caught the
+
“Looks like they still haven’t caught the killer, huh.”
killer, huh.”</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>It would be too sad for Kouta if he didn’t
+
It would be too sad for Kouta if he didn’t feel that I least I felt sentimental towards Yahara’s death.
feel that I least I felt sentimental towards Yahara’s death.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Yeah. They still haven’t been caught.”</span></p>
+
“Yeah. They still haven’t been caught.”
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But given Kouta’s abilities, he likely
+
But given Kouta’s abilities, he likely realized that my sentimentality was simply a pretense. But he nodded all the same.
realized that my sentimentality was simply a pretense. But he nodded all the
 
same.</span></p>
 
   
  +
...To be quite honest, I couldn’t muster any sadness at Yahara’s death. Although I felt pity for him, that was the extent of it. And I suspected most others would feel much the same way I did. Even his parents didn’t look particularly sad. To the contrary, they seemed rather glad that a nuisance had disappeared from their lives. Every way you looked, people were simply feigning sadness, and most were doing a dozen times worse of a job than I was.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>...To be quite honest, I couldn’t muster any
 
sadness at Yahara’s death. Although I felt pity for him, that was the extent of
 
it. And I suspected most others would feel much the same way I did. Even his
 
parents didn’t look particularly sad. To the contrary, they seemed rather glad
 
that a nuisance had disappeared from their lives. Every way you looked, people
 
were simply feigning sadness, and most were doing a dozen times worse of a job
 
than I was.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>It seemed this fact came as a shock to Kouta.
+
It seemed this fact came as a shock to Kouta. He was trying not to let it show, but... actually, knowing Kouta, he may not have realized it himself.
He was trying not to let it show, but... actually, knowing Kouta, he may not
 
have realized it himself.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Kouta...”</span></p>
+
“Kouta...”
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“...hm?”</span></p>
+
“...hm?”
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Even his responses were delayed. He had been
+
Even his responses were delayed. He had been like this a lot recently.
like this a lot recently.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Well, if you’re able to... I’d like you to
+
“Well, if you’re able to... I’d like you to try to stop thinking about Yahara.
try to stop thinking about Yahara.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Why?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Why?”</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“It might be dangerous.”</span></p>
+
“It might be dangerous.”
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Kouta’s eyes widened in puzzlement.</span></p>
+
Kouta’s eyes widened in puzzlement.
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I wasn’t confident. But it looked to me like
+
I wasn’t confident. But it looked to me like Kouta’s state was changing by moment to moment. And Yahara was no doubt the cause of that.
Kouta’s state was changing by moment to moment. And Yahara was no doubt the
 
cause of that.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>The dead can’t use magic.</span></p>
+
The dead can’t use magic.
   
  +
But a person’s magic is most powerful in the moments before their death. In order to leave behind traces of themselves within another, they can use “agglutination” magic. People put down their defenses when faced with the dying. No matter how much of a sinner that person was, people inevitably forgive them, stop resisting them, and accept their influence. Depending on who their partner is, the living may even unconditionally take on the will of the dead and agglutinate. It’s not dissimilar to succeeding the will of the departed.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But a person’s magic is most powerful in the
 
moments before their death. In order to leave behind traces of themselves
 
within another, they can use “agglutination” magic. People put down their
 
defenses when faced with the dying. No matter how much of a sinner that person
 
was, people inevitably forgive them, stop resisting them, and accept their
 
influence. Depending on who their partner is, the living may even
 
unconditionally take on the will of the dead and agglutinate. It’s not
 
dissimilar to succeeding the will of the departed.</span></p>
 
   
  +
And Yahara clearly left something in Kouta. If Kouta were a normal person, even if he agglutinated he would only extract the parts that were useful to him, so he himself wouldn’t change. But this was Kouta we were talking about. The pinnacle of indifference, not only would he not notice changes within himself, he wouldn’t even care whether they were for good or for evil.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>And Yahara clearly left something in Kouta. If
 
Kouta were a normal person, even if he agglutinated he would only extract the
 
parts that were useful to him, so he himself wouldn’t change. But this was
 
Kouta we were talking about. The pinnacle of indifference, not only would he
 
not notice changes within himself, he wouldn’t even care whether they were for
 
good or for evil.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>So if he kept thinking about Yahara, he was in
+
So if he kept thinking about Yahara, he was in danger of agglutinating.
danger of agglutinating.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>He was showing symptoms already.</span></p>
+
He was showing symptoms already.
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Recently, my magic hasn’t been as potent.”</span></p>
+
“Recently, my magic hasn’t been as potent.”
   
  +
Kouta wasn’t supposed to have an attribute, but he was beginning to take someone else’s on. He was drifting away from mine. As for whose attribute he was taking on, it should go without saying — Masato Yahara’s. If things continued on this way, at worst Kouta might end up becoming a powerful, evil magus like Yahara was.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Kouta wasn’t supposed to have an attribute,
 
but he was beginning to take someone else’s on. He was drifting away from mine.
 
As for whose attribute he was taking on, it should go without saying — Masato
 
Yahara’s. If things continued on this way, at worst Kouta might end up becoming
 
a powerful, evil magus like Yahara was.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Everyone, note that the bell has rung. I
+
“Everyone, note that the bell has rung. I would appreciate it if you took your seats.”
would appreciate it if you took your seats.”</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>At the same time as the bell rang, their class
+
At the same time as the bell rang, their class representative’s voice called out. Their class’s distinctive routine.
representative’s voice called out. Their class’s distinctive routine.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Thinking it rather unpleasant as I looked at said representative, I somehow felt a sense of displeasure from him when our eyes crossed. Was he trying to tell my to get out of his classroom?
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Thinking it rather unpleasant as I looked at
 
said representative, I somehow felt a sense of displeasure from him when our
 
eyes crossed. Was he trying to tell my to get out of his classroom?</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“...I have to get going. Let’s give it our
+
“...I have to get going. Let’s give it our best this week, okay?”
best this week, okay?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Yeah.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Yeah.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
On account of Yahara’s incident, we had postponed his home visit until this week. I had until then to think of a way to resolve this situation. I shouldn’t be in so much of a hurry. My foe was powerful, but he was also dead. Even if this situation continued, my foe couldn’t draw any more magic.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>On account of Yahara’s incident, we had
 
postponed his home visit until this week. I had until then to think of a way to
 
resolve this situation. I shouldn’t be in so much of a hurry. My foe was
 
powerful, but he was also dead. Even if this situation continued, my foe
 
couldn’t draw any more magic.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“See you later, then. Bye bye!”</span></p>
+
“See you later, then. Bye bye!”
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Although my hand was trembling, I smiled as
+
Although my hand was trembling, I smiled as sweetly as possible. A smile has the power to forcibly bind a person. That’s why I made sure to never forget to smile.
sweetly as possible. A smile has the power to forcibly bind a person. That’s
 
why I made sure to never forget to smile.</span></p>
 
   
  +
My bedroom. It was both my territory and within a boundary. It was the place where my magic was amplified the most. In there, there should be no shortage of ways to dispel Yahara’s magic.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>My bedroom. It was both my territory and
 
within a boundary. It was the place where my magic was amplified the most. In
 
there, there should be no shortage of ways to dispel Yahara’s magic.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>&nbsp;</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>After I returned to my classroom, I scowled as
 
if I were glaring at a blackboard and thought about Kouta. </span></p>
 
   
  +
After I returned to my classroom, I scowled as if I were glaring at a blackboard and thought about Kouta.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I had to reanalyze the individual named Kouta
 
Hiiragi.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I had to reanalyze the individual named Kouta Hiiragi.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Kouta had low magic resistance. He took magic
 
magic in without resisting in. The reason for that lay in his efforts to avoid
 
possessing an attribute of his own. His entire life was makeshift. Changing his
 
attribute from moment to moment, he spent his days noncommittally. There were
 
plenty of people who lived like that. Heck, I had been that way once too.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Kouta had low magic resistance. He took magic magic in without resisting in. The reason for that lay in his efforts to avoid possessing an attribute of his own. His entire life was makeshift. Changing his attribute from moment to moment, he spent his days noncommittally. There were plenty of people who lived like that. Heck, I had been that way once too.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But most people wouldn’t go so far as to
 
forget their own attribute. Even if they changed themselves on the outside to
 
match their partner, they would be loath to accept them inside their very
 
attribute.</span></p>
 
   
  +
But most people wouldn’t go so far as to forget their own attribute. Even if they changed themselves on the outside to match their partner, they would be loath to accept them inside their very attribute.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But Kouta had no such reaction. He would take
 
people in not just superficially but to the bottom of his heart.</span></p>
 
   
  +
But Kouta had no such reaction. He would take people in not just superficially but to the bottom of his heart.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>What I was most concerned about was that
 
attribute taking hold after being accepted so.</span></p>
 
   
  +
What I was most concerned about was that attribute taking hold after being accepted so.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>It was practically a miracle that an attribute
 
<i>hadn’t</i> taken hold in him yet. As proof of that, he had already started
 
becoming stained in mine.</span></p>
 
   
  +
It was practically a miracle that an attribute <i>hadn’t</i> taken hold in him yet. As proof of that, he had already started becoming stained in mine.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Attributes are largely determined by one’s
 
family environment. When you’re young, your family helps form the basis for
 
your attribute. Whether you try to rebel against your parents or ingratiate
 
yourself with them, through that process your attribute takes its form.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Attributes are largely determined by one’s family environment. When you’re young, your family helps form the basis for your attribute. Whether you try to rebel against your parents or ingratiate yourself with them, through that process your attribute takes its form.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But for whatever reason, Kouta never created a
 
baseline personality. He wasn’t influenced by his family.</span></p>
 
   
  +
But for whatever reason, Kouta never created a baseline personality. He wasn’t influenced by his family.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>As for the reason no attribute had taken hold
 
in him yet, it was likely due to the fact that he had never had any
 
particularly deep relationships outside his family either. Given his
 
disposition, despite his ability to make friends he was probably unable to make
 
close friends or a girlfriend. In order to form deep relationships, people have
 
to lay themselves bare. But Kouta had nothing <i>to</i> lay bare. He was empty.
 
He had no way of forming such relationships. Although he didn’t realize it
 
himself, he had a habit of keeping others at an arm’s length so as to avoid
 
forming such deep relationships.</span></p>
 
   
  +
As for the reason no attribute had taken hold in him yet, it was likely due to the fact that he had never had any particularly deep relationships outside his family either. Given his disposition, despite his ability to make friends he was probably unable to make close friends or a girlfriend. In order to form deep relationships, people have to lay themselves bare. But Kouta had nothing <i>to</i> lay bare. He was empty. He had no way of forming such relationships. Although he didn’t realize it himself, he had a habit of keeping others at an arm’s length so as to avoid forming such deep relationships.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>That was my hypothesis.</span></p>
 
   
  +
That was my hypothesis.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>So with that to work off of, I contemplated
 
how to save him from Yahara’s clutches.</span></p>
 
   
  +
So with that to work off of, I contemplated how to save him from Yahara’s clutches.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I had to first discern how exactly he had
 
changed. But understanding that, I could uncover the properties he didn’t have
 
naturally, correct them, and bring him back to normal. As long as I could do
 
that, everything would be fine.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I had to first discern how exactly he had changed. But understanding that, I could uncover the properties he didn’t have naturally, correct them, and bring him back to normal. As long as I could do that, everything would be fine.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I was left with a nagging sense of discomfort.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I was left with a nagging sense of discomfort.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But what specifically made me uncomfortable?</span></p>
 
   
  +
But what specifically made me uncomfortable?
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>In order to collect my thoughts, I focused my
 
vision on the tip of my mechanical pencil. You often saw people in manga and
 
such close their eyes to focus, but my approach was the opposite. I would open
 
my eyes wide and focus on a single point. It was even better if that point was
 
something with traces of my magic in it. My mechanical pencil, which I used
 
every day, fit that definition to a T. I stared at the tip for so long it got
 
burned into my retinas. With that as my signal, my thoughts sharpened.</span></p>
 
   
  +
In order to collect my thoughts, I focused my vision on the tip of my mechanical pencil. You often saw people in manga and such close their eyes to focus, but my approach was the opposite. I would open my eyes wide and focus on a single point. It was even better if that point was something with traces of my magic in it. My mechanical pencil, which I used every day, fit that definition to a T. I stared at the tip for so long it got burned into my retinas. With that as my signal, my thoughts sharpened.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>But right in the middle of all this, someone
 
poked my back several times, breaking my concentration.</span></p>
 
   
  +
But right in the middle of all this, someone poked my back several times, breaking my concentration.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“C’mon, Sayuri! What do you want?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“C’mon, Sayuri! What do you want?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Whispering so the teacher wouldn’t hear me, I
 
turned to glare at the culprit, Sayuri.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Whispering so the teacher wouldn’t hear me, I turned to glare at the culprit, Sayuri.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Her dyed-brown hair wash in a straight perm.
 
Her loose sweater intentionally concealed her hands. And wearing a short skirt
 
that accentuated her universally-esteemed legs was my classmate Sayuri Taneoka.
 
Her willful, almond-shaped eyes shone with self-esteem and strong intent. From
 
the first day of school I realized that she would be the center of attention in
 
class, so I make sure to curry favor with her.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Her dyed-brown hair wash in a straight perm. Her loose sweater intentionally concealed her hands. And wearing a short skirt that accentuated her universally-esteemed legs was my classmate Sayuri Taneoka. Her willful, almond-shaped eyes shone with self-esteem and strong intent. From the first day of school I realized that she would be the center of attention in class, so I make sure to curry favor with her.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Sayuri’s personality was strict, which I was
 
fond of. And she wasn’t the type to put others down. So even though I called
 
myself a magus, we still got along quite well.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Sayuri’s personality was strict, which I was fond of. And she wasn’t the type to put others down. So even though I called myself a magus, we still got along quite well.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“You haven’t taken any notes in forever.
 
You’ve got something on your mind, right?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“You haven’t taken any notes in forever. You’ve got something on your mind, right?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>She went on, grinning for some reason.</span></p>
 
   
  +
She went on, grinning for some reason.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“It’s about a guy, right?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“It’s about a guy, right?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>...Well, she wasn’t wrong.</span></p>
 
   
  +
...Well, she wasn’t wrong.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Ooh, looks like I nailed it. If that’s the
 
case, did Makino confess to you?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Ooh, looks like I nailed it. If that’s the case, did Makino confess to you?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“...Makino?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“...Makino?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>That wasn’t the name that was on my mind.</span></p>
 
   
  +
That wasn’t the name that was on my mind.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Oh, that’s not it? It got out that he had the
 
hots for you, so I figured he must have finally confessed.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Oh, that’s not it? It got out that he had the hots for you, so I figured he must have finally confessed.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Hearing this, I glanced at Makino’s seat. He
 
happened to be glancing at me as well, and as our eyes met I returned his
 
smile.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Hearing this, I glanced at Makino’s seat. He happened to be glancing at me as well, and as our eyes met I returned his smile.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Makino did act over-familiar at times, but...
 
was that really the case?</span></p>
 
   
  +
Makino did act over-familiar at times, but... was that really the case?
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Besides, doesn’t everyone already know that
 
I’m going out with Kouta?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Besides, doesn’t everyone already know that I’m going out with Kouta?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Yeah, but isn’t that, like, you know? Aren’t
 
you two one of those fake couple-type deals? You know, where you go out with
 
some random guy to keep the rest of the guys away? You know he doesn’t suit
 
you, he’s like a background character or something.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Yeah, but isn’t that, like, you know? Aren’t you two one of those fake couple-type deals? You know, where you go out with some random guy to keep the rest of the guys away? You know he doesn’t suit you, he’s like a background character or something.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>While that wasn’t true, the fact that we
 
weren’t a normal couple was. But getting into the details would be messy, so I
 
just laughed ambiguously.</span></p>
 
   
  +
While that wasn’t true, the fact that we weren’t a normal couple was. But getting into the details would be messy, so I just laughed ambiguously.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Although she seemed to want to drag the
 
conversation out and began poking me again, I simply ignored her.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Although she seemed to want to drag the conversation out and began poking me again, I simply ignored her.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Good grief, Sayuri... or rather, all
 
high-school-age girls seemed to love talking about romance. Perhaps that was a
 
simple form of magic.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Good grief, Sayuri... or rather, all high-school-age girls seemed to love talking about romance. Perhaps that was a simple form of magic.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Kouta.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Kouta.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Kouta. Kouta.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Kouta. Kouta.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I want to protect him. No matter what.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I want to protect him. No matter what.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>&nbsp;</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>&nbsp;</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>At long last, it was finally lunch break.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>We sat in the courtyard as always, each eating
 
our own sandwiches. After my initial failure with the homemade lunches, I
 
decided that I would try again once I had practiced a little more. Granted, I
 
had only practiced once since then, but... sooner or later!</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>With Yahara’s glare no longer present, I was a
 
little concerned that Yamazaki or whatever his name was would come hassle us
 
again, but in the two weeks since the incident had come to light he hadn’t
 
shown up once.</span></p>
 
   
  +
At long last, it was finally lunch break.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I had decided that during this lunch period, I
 
would take a different approach from this morning. In order to root out the
 
cause of my discomfort, I wanted to see Kouta in as flat a condition as
 
possible. To do that, I had to hide my concern and act just as bubbly as
 
always. Given Kouta’s disposition, no matter how down he was over Yahara’s
 
death, he would probably match my behavior and interact with me just as he
 
always did.</span></p>
 
   
  +
We sat in the courtyard as always, each eating our own sandwiches. After my initial failure with the homemade lunches, I decided that I would try again once I had practiced a little more. Granted, I had only practiced once since then, but... sooner or later!
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>Just as I expected, Kouta was talking
 
perfectly normally. As we conversed, we laughed together, and I would
 
occasionally unilaterally touch hom on the back or shoulder.</span></p>
 
   
  +
With Yahara’s glare no longer present, I was a little concerned that Yamazaki or whatever his name was would come hassle us again, but in the two weeks since the incident had come to light he hadn’t shown up once.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“So in other words, you really <i>are</i>
 
collecting lizard tails and hanging out with black cats, aren’t you, Miki?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
I had decided that during this lunch period, I would take a different approach from this morning. In order to root out the cause of my discomfort, I wanted to see Kouta in as flat a condition as possible. To do that, I had to hide my concern and act just as bubbly as always. Given Kouta’s disposition, no matter how down he was over Yahara’s death, he would probably match my behavior and interact with me just as he always did.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>As far as Kouta was concerned, this
 
conversation didn’t particularly have any deeper meaning.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Just as I expected, Kouta was talking perfectly normally. As we conversed, we laughed together, and I would occasionally unilaterally touch hom on the back or shoulder.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“I don’t, I’m telling you. I try to avoid
 
following any formal conventions or anything. Although, it is true that certain
 
rituals can strengthen magic’s power.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“So in other words, you really <i>are</i> collecting lizard tails and hanging out with black cats, aren’t you, Miki?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Are you saying that there’s things you
 
wouldn’t do for the sake of magic?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
As far as Kouta was concerned, this conversation didn’t particularly have any deeper meaning.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>I was at a loss for words.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“I don’t, I’m telling you. I try to avoid following any formal conventions or anything. Although, it is true that certain rituals can strengthen magic’s power.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>At my abrupt change, Kouta looked at me with
 
worry on his face.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Are you saying that there’s things you wouldn’t do for the sake of magic?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>“Yup. After all, there are some things that if
 
you go too far with, you become unable to go back.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
I was at a loss for words.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>...That’s right. Ever since “that mistake,” I
 
had been suppressing my magic. Compared to how I was back then, I had much more
 
common sense and much less power.</span></p>
 
   
  +
At my abrupt change, Kouta looked at me with worry on his face.
<p class=MsoNormal><i><span lang=EN style='background:white'>Is Kou even the
 
one you’re really tryin’ to protect? ...Heh, you can’t even refute it. What
 
you’re tryin’ to protect by force-staining Kou’s ass Is your flimsy-ass,
 
brittle little closed world.</span></i></p>
 
   
  +
“Yup. After all, there are some things that if you go too far with, you become unable to go back.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>I suddenly recalled
 
the words Masato Yahara spit at me.</span></p>
 
   
  +
...That’s right. Ever since “that mistake,” I had been suppressing my magic. Compared to how I was back then, I had much more common sense and much less power.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>I had no retort for
 
him. After all, I couldn’t proudly puff up my chest and proclaim it to be
 
false.</span></p>
 
   
  +
<i>Is Kou even the one you’re really tryin’ to protect? ...Heh, you can’t even refute it. What you’re tryin’ to protect by force-staining Kou’s ass Is your flimsy-ass, brittle little closed world.</i>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>Even now, I wasn’t
 
certain that staining Kouta with my magic was the right thing to do.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I suddenly recalled the words Masato Yahara spit at me.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>“What do you mean by
 
‘unable to go back’?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
I had no retort for him. After all, I couldn’t proudly puff up my chest and proclaim it to be false.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>After I had gone
 
silent, Kouta asked me a question as a follow-up.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Even now, I wasn’t certain that staining Kouta with my magic was the right thing to do.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>So with all my
 
effort, I put on a smile.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“What do you mean by ‘unable to go back’?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>“Well... you know how
 
integrating into everyday society is pretty tough, right? You know that it’s
 
not something that just anyone can do, right?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
After I had gone silent, Kouta asked me a question as a follow-up.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>“You’re right. My
 
sister refuses to go to school, and a couple of my relatives are shut-ins, so
 
what you’re saying kind of resonates.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
So with all my effort, I put on a smile.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>“I see.” You being
 
the way you are makes me worried for your sister as well, but I’ll set that
 
issue aside for now. “The more a person holes themselves up in their closed
 
world, the more powerful their magic becomes. So if you’re completely
 
compatible with normal society, you can’t use it. But if you entrust everything
 
to magic, your closed world becomes all-encompassing. If that happens, the
 
people around you will see you as a weirdo or a freak.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Well... you know how integrating into everyday society is pretty tough, right? You know that it’s not something that just anyone can do, right?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>“Like
 
Matsumi-senpai?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“You’re right. My sister refuses to go to school, and a couple of my relatives are shut-ins, so what you’re saying kind of resonates.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>“...Ahh, maybe.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
“I see.” You being the way you are makes me worried for your sister as well, but I’ll set that issue aside for now. “The more a person holes themselves up in their closed world, the more powerful their magic becomes. So if you’re completely compatible with normal society, you can’t use it. But if you entrust everything to magic, your closed world becomes all-encompassing. If that happens, the people around you will see you as a weirdo or a freak.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='background:white'>I had heard about
 
Ririko Matsumi from Kouta. Although the scanning she used surpassed my <span
 
style='color:#222222'>interpersonal magic, I knew how to explain parts of it.</span></span></p>
 
   
  +
“Like Matsumi-senpai?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>She
 
fixed her eyes in place and let out a strange voice that sounded like a machine
 
noise. It was self-hypnosis that let her raise her powers of concentration to
 
the extreme. A ritual designed to open her magical circuits. Normally to
 
accomplish that you’d have to draw a magic square, mutilate yourself, or do
 
some other form of large-scale preparation, but it seemed she didn’t need to.
 
This was probably because she believed in her magic implicitly.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“...Ahh, maybe.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Ririko
 
Matsumi had isolated herself from society.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I had heard about Ririko Matsumi from Kouta. Although the scanning she used surpassed my ''interpersonal magic'', I knew how to explain parts of it.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>A
 
commonplace worldview leads to relatively weak magic. Furthermore, it lacks
 
appeal. Most people recognize that they’re going to die without accomplishing
 
anything or leaving behind and notable traces. Because it’s so unappealing,
 
some people want to discard it. There’s plenty of types of dubious, half-baked
 
kinds magic, like cults, that try to quietly drive away commonplace worldviews.</span></p>
 
   
  +
She fixed her eyes in place and let out a strange voice that sounded like a machine noise. It was self-hypnosis that let her raise her powers of concentration to the extreme. A ritual designed to open her magical circuits. Normally to accomplish that you’d have to draw a magic square, mutilate yourself, or do some other form of large-scale preparation, but it seemed she didn’t need to. This was probably because she believed in her magic implicitly.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Ririko
 
Matsumi is a person who discarded her commonplace worldview.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Ririko Matsumi had isolated herself from society.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>“Miki,
 
do you know anyone who became unable to go back?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
A commonplace worldview leads to relatively weak magic. Furthermore, it lacks appeal. Most people recognize that they’re going to die without accomplishing anything or leaving behind and notable traces. Because it’s so unappealing, some people want to discard it. There’s plenty of types of dubious, half-baked kinds magic, like cults, that try to quietly drive away commonplace worldviews.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>I did.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Ririko Matsumi is a person who discarded her commonplace worldview.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>I knew
 
of someone other than Ririko Matsumi.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Miki, do you know anyone who became unable to go back?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>And the
 
person who drove her to that point was none other than myself.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I did.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>“Nope.
 
I just know this all in the abstract.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
I knew of someone other than Ririko Matsumi.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>I lied.</span></p>
 
   
  +
And the person who drove her to that point was none other than myself.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>I
 
didn’t have faith in myself to explain it right now.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Nope. I just know this all in the abstract.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>“Huh.”</span></p>
 
   
  +
I lied.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Kouta
 
casually saw through my lie. He had to have seen through it. But because he was
 
Kouta, he didn’t follow up on it.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I didn’t have faith in myself to explain it right now.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>And
 
yet—</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Huh.”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Discomfort.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Kouta casually saw through my lie. He had to have seen through it. But because he was Kouta, he didn’t follow up on it.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>The
 
discomfort I had been looking for was right here.</span></p>
 
   
  +
And yet—
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>“Miki,
 
is something wrong?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
Discomfort.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Kouta
 
gazed at me worriedly. <i>He was staring at me. It was like he was trying to
 
peer into me.</i></span></p>
 
   
  +
The discomfort I had been looking for was right here.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>That’s
 
it. Those eyes. Kouta’s eyes weren’t like that before. <i>Kouta was analyzing
 
my responses.</i></span></p>
 
   
  +
“Miki, is something wrong?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Kouta
 
excelled at understanding others. But he never cared about their motives. He
 
simply understood things as they were. It was precisely because he didn’t care
 
that he didn’t have an attribute.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Kouta gazed at me worriedly. <i>He was staring at me. It was like he was trying to peer into me.</i>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>“Miki?
 
What’s going on? Is it something <b>I </b><ref>This... doesn't translate super neatly. Essentially, Japanese has a number of variants on the word "I", with Kouta generally using a more polite, reserved masculine I ("boku") and Masato using a less polite, aggressive masculine I ("ore"). Throughout the story, all instances of "ore" are going to be and have been bolded, as those both plot-relevant and sort-of bolded in the original text.</ref>did?”</span></p>
 
   
  +
That’s it. Those eyes. Kouta’s eyes weren’t like that before. <i>Kouta was analyzing my responses.</i>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>I knew.
 
A man whose eyes looked like that.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Kouta excelled at understanding others. But he never cared about their motives. He simply understood things as they were. It was precisely because he didn’t care that he didn’t have an attribute.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>A man
 
who called himself “<b>I</b>” like that.</span></p>
 
   
  +
“Miki? What’s going on? Is it something <b>I </b><ref>This... doesn't translate super neatly. Essentially, Japanese has a number of variants on the word "I", with Kouta generally using a more polite, reserved masculine I ("boku") and Masato using a less polite, aggressive masculine I ("ore"). Throughout the story, all instances of "ore" are going to be and have been bolded, as those both plot-relevant and sort-of bolded in the original text.</ref>did?”
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Masato
 
Yahara.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I knew. A man whose eyes looked like that.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>&nbsp;</span></p>
 
   
  +
A man who called himself “<b>I</b>” like that.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>I
 
lightly touched the red hair band, which appeared completely ordinary, that was
 
keeping up my hair. It was an inexpensive hair band, the kind you could buy
 
anywhere. But because it held up my hair, the place in my body most densely
 
packed with magic, almost every day, it had gradually changed into something
 
special. Perhaps if the right person looked at it, it would appear to glow
 
orange.</span></p>
 
   
  +
Masato Yahara.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>I had a
 
means to release him from the curse. For Kouta’s sake, I resolved to use this
 
hair band in the <i>most effective way possible</i>.</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>But,
 
why?</span></p>
 
   
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN style='color:#222222;background:white'>Even
 
though I was doing it for Kouta’s sake, it felt like I was betraying him.</span></p>
 
   
  +
I lightly touched the red hair band, which appeared completely ordinary, that was keeping up my hair. It was an inexpensive hair band, the kind you could buy anywhere. But because it held up my hair, the place in my body most densely packed with magic, almost every day, it had gradually changed into something special. Perhaps if the right person looked at it, it would appear to glow orange.
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN>&nbsp;</span></p>
 
  +
  +
I had a means to release him from the curse. For Kouta’s sake, I resolved to use this hair band in the <i>most effective way possible</i>.
  +
  +
But, why?
  +
  +
Even though I was doing it for Kouta’s sake, it felt like I was betraying him.
   
</div>
 
   
 
<noinclude>
 
<noinclude>

Latest revision as of 02:58, 27 November 2017

Miki Kouzuki's Closed World (I)[edit]

I was talking to Kouta, who was occasionally staring off into the distance, amidst the hustle and bustle of the pre-homeroom classroom.

It was June 19th. Two weeks had passed since Masato Yahara’s body had been found.

The murder, king of all scandals, sent ripples throughout the school. But contrary to my expectations, the ripples faded within a week. The reason was that Yahara had always been something of an untouchable delinquent, avoided by his schoolmates due to being perceived as an abnormal individual. Thus the event was simply perceived as an “abnormal individual” becoming involved in “abnormal incident,” allowing interest in the entire affair to quickly fade. It was like a gangster getting killed; insufficient to pique the interest of the public.

The school had already returned to its daily routine, everything working normally.

But there was one exception.

The fact that that exception was Kouta went without saying.

Kouta, Yahara’s sole friend, was dragging out his death.

“Looks like they still haven’t caught the killer, huh.”

It would be too sad for Kouta if he didn’t feel that I least I felt sentimental towards Yahara’s death.

“Yeah. They still haven’t been caught.”

But given Kouta’s abilities, he likely realized that my sentimentality was simply a pretense. But he nodded all the same.

...To be quite honest, I couldn’t muster any sadness at Yahara’s death. Although I felt pity for him, that was the extent of it. And I suspected most others would feel much the same way I did. Even his parents didn’t look particularly sad. To the contrary, they seemed rather glad that a nuisance had disappeared from their lives. Every way you looked, people were simply feigning sadness, and most were doing a dozen times worse of a job than I was.

It seemed this fact came as a shock to Kouta. He was trying not to let it show, but... actually, knowing Kouta, he may not have realized it himself.

“Kouta...”

“...hm?”

Even his responses were delayed. He had been like this a lot recently.

“Well, if you’re able to... I’d like you to try to stop thinking about Yahara.

“Why?”

“It might be dangerous.”

Kouta’s eyes widened in puzzlement.

I wasn’t confident. But it looked to me like Kouta’s state was changing by moment to moment. And Yahara was no doubt the cause of that.

The dead can’t use magic.

But a person’s magic is most powerful in the moments before their death. In order to leave behind traces of themselves within another, they can use “agglutination” magic. People put down their defenses when faced with the dying. No matter how much of a sinner that person was, people inevitably forgive them, stop resisting them, and accept their influence. Depending on who their partner is, the living may even unconditionally take on the will of the dead and agglutinate. It’s not dissimilar to succeeding the will of the departed.

And Yahara clearly left something in Kouta. If Kouta were a normal person, even if he agglutinated he would only extract the parts that were useful to him, so he himself wouldn’t change. But this was Kouta we were talking about. The pinnacle of indifference, not only would he not notice changes within himself, he wouldn’t even care whether they were for good or for evil.

So if he kept thinking about Yahara, he was in danger of agglutinating.

He was showing symptoms already.

“Recently, my magic hasn’t been as potent.”

Kouta wasn’t supposed to have an attribute, but he was beginning to take someone else’s on. He was drifting away from mine. As for whose attribute he was taking on, it should go without saying — Masato Yahara’s. If things continued on this way, at worst Kouta might end up becoming a powerful, evil magus like Yahara was.

“Everyone, note that the bell has rung. I would appreciate it if you took your seats.”

At the same time as the bell rang, their class representative’s voice called out. Their class’s distinctive routine.

Thinking it rather unpleasant as I looked at said representative, I somehow felt a sense of displeasure from him when our eyes crossed. Was he trying to tell my to get out of his classroom?

“...I have to get going. Let’s give it our best this week, okay?”

“Yeah.”

On account of Yahara’s incident, we had postponed his home visit until this week. I had until then to think of a way to resolve this situation. I shouldn’t be in so much of a hurry. My foe was powerful, but he was also dead. Even if this situation continued, my foe couldn’t draw any more magic.

“See you later, then. Bye bye!”

Although my hand was trembling, I smiled as sweetly as possible. A smile has the power to forcibly bind a person. That’s why I made sure to never forget to smile.

My bedroom. It was both my territory and within a boundary. It was the place where my magic was amplified the most. In there, there should be no shortage of ways to dispel Yahara’s magic.


After I returned to my classroom, I scowled as if I were glaring at a blackboard and thought about Kouta.

I had to reanalyze the individual named Kouta Hiiragi.

Kouta had low magic resistance. He took magic magic in without resisting in. The reason for that lay in his efforts to avoid possessing an attribute of his own. His entire life was makeshift. Changing his attribute from moment to moment, he spent his days noncommittally. There were plenty of people who lived like that. Heck, I had been that way once too.

But most people wouldn’t go so far as to forget their own attribute. Even if they changed themselves on the outside to match their partner, they would be loath to accept them inside their very attribute.

But Kouta had no such reaction. He would take people in not just superficially but to the bottom of his heart.

What I was most concerned about was that attribute taking hold after being accepted so.

It was practically a miracle that an attribute hadn’t taken hold in him yet. As proof of that, he had already started becoming stained in mine.

Attributes are largely determined by one’s family environment. When you’re young, your family helps form the basis for your attribute. Whether you try to rebel against your parents or ingratiate yourself with them, through that process your attribute takes its form.

But for whatever reason, Kouta never created a baseline personality. He wasn’t influenced by his family.

As for the reason no attribute had taken hold in him yet, it was likely due to the fact that he had never had any particularly deep relationships outside his family either. Given his disposition, despite his ability to make friends he was probably unable to make close friends or a girlfriend. In order to form deep relationships, people have to lay themselves bare. But Kouta had nothing to lay bare. He was empty. He had no way of forming such relationships. Although he didn’t realize it himself, he had a habit of keeping others at an arm’s length so as to avoid forming such deep relationships.

That was my hypothesis.

So with that to work off of, I contemplated how to save him from Yahara’s clutches.

I had to first discern how exactly he had changed. But understanding that, I could uncover the properties he didn’t have naturally, correct them, and bring him back to normal. As long as I could do that, everything would be fine.

I was left with a nagging sense of discomfort.

But what specifically made me uncomfortable?

In order to collect my thoughts, I focused my vision on the tip of my mechanical pencil. You often saw people in manga and such close their eyes to focus, but my approach was the opposite. I would open my eyes wide and focus on a single point. It was even better if that point was something with traces of my magic in it. My mechanical pencil, which I used every day, fit that definition to a T. I stared at the tip for so long it got burned into my retinas. With that as my signal, my thoughts sharpened.

But right in the middle of all this, someone poked my back several times, breaking my concentration.

“C’mon, Sayuri! What do you want?”

Whispering so the teacher wouldn’t hear me, I turned to glare at the culprit, Sayuri.

Her dyed-brown hair wash in a straight perm. Her loose sweater intentionally concealed her hands. And wearing a short skirt that accentuated her universally-esteemed legs was my classmate Sayuri Taneoka. Her willful, almond-shaped eyes shone with self-esteem and strong intent. From the first day of school I realized that she would be the center of attention in class, so I make sure to curry favor with her.

Sayuri’s personality was strict, which I was fond of. And she wasn’t the type to put others down. So even though I called myself a magus, we still got along quite well.

“You haven’t taken any notes in forever. You’ve got something on your mind, right?”

She went on, grinning for some reason.

“It’s about a guy, right?”

...Well, she wasn’t wrong.

“Ooh, looks like I nailed it. If that’s the case, did Makino confess to you?”

“...Makino?”

That wasn’t the name that was on my mind.

“Oh, that’s not it? It got out that he had the hots for you, so I figured he must have finally confessed.”

Hearing this, I glanced at Makino’s seat. He happened to be glancing at me as well, and as our eyes met I returned his smile.

Makino did act over-familiar at times, but... was that really the case?

“Besides, doesn’t everyone already know that I’m going out with Kouta?”

“Yeah, but isn’t that, like, you know? Aren’t you two one of those fake couple-type deals? You know, where you go out with some random guy to keep the rest of the guys away? You know he doesn’t suit you, he’s like a background character or something.”

While that wasn’t true, the fact that we weren’t a normal couple was. But getting into the details would be messy, so I just laughed ambiguously.

Although she seemed to want to drag the conversation out and began poking me again, I simply ignored her.

Good grief, Sayuri... or rather, all high-school-age girls seemed to love talking about romance. Perhaps that was a simple form of magic.

Kouta.

Kouta. Kouta.

I want to protect him. No matter what.



At long last, it was finally lunch break.

We sat in the courtyard as always, each eating our own sandwiches. After my initial failure with the homemade lunches, I decided that I would try again once I had practiced a little more. Granted, I had only practiced once since then, but... sooner or later!

With Yahara’s glare no longer present, I was a little concerned that Yamazaki or whatever his name was would come hassle us again, but in the two weeks since the incident had come to light he hadn’t shown up once.

I had decided that during this lunch period, I would take a different approach from this morning. In order to root out the cause of my discomfort, I wanted to see Kouta in as flat a condition as possible. To do that, I had to hide my concern and act just as bubbly as always. Given Kouta’s disposition, no matter how down he was over Yahara’s death, he would probably match my behavior and interact with me just as he always did.

Just as I expected, Kouta was talking perfectly normally. As we conversed, we laughed together, and I would occasionally unilaterally touch hom on the back or shoulder.

“So in other words, you really are collecting lizard tails and hanging out with black cats, aren’t you, Miki?”

As far as Kouta was concerned, this conversation didn’t particularly have any deeper meaning.

“I don’t, I’m telling you. I try to avoid following any formal conventions or anything. Although, it is true that certain rituals can strengthen magic’s power.”

“Are you saying that there’s things you wouldn’t do for the sake of magic?”

I was at a loss for words.

At my abrupt change, Kouta looked at me with worry on his face.

“Yup. After all, there are some things that if you go too far with, you become unable to go back.”

...That’s right. Ever since “that mistake,” I had been suppressing my magic. Compared to how I was back then, I had much more common sense and much less power.

Is Kou even the one you’re really tryin’ to protect? ...Heh, you can’t even refute it. What you’re tryin’ to protect by force-staining Kou’s ass Is your flimsy-ass, brittle little closed world.

I suddenly recalled the words Masato Yahara spit at me.

I had no retort for him. After all, I couldn’t proudly puff up my chest and proclaim it to be false.

Even now, I wasn’t certain that staining Kouta with my magic was the right thing to do.

“What do you mean by ‘unable to go back’?”

After I had gone silent, Kouta asked me a question as a follow-up.

So with all my effort, I put on a smile.

“Well... you know how integrating into everyday society is pretty tough, right? You know that it’s not something that just anyone can do, right?”

“You’re right. My sister refuses to go to school, and a couple of my relatives are shut-ins, so what you’re saying kind of resonates.”

“I see.” You being the way you are makes me worried for your sister as well, but I’ll set that issue aside for now. “The more a person holes themselves up in their closed world, the more powerful their magic becomes. So if you’re completely compatible with normal society, you can’t use it. But if you entrust everything to magic, your closed world becomes all-encompassing. If that happens, the people around you will see you as a weirdo or a freak.”

“Like Matsumi-senpai?”

“...Ahh, maybe.”

I had heard about Ririko Matsumi from Kouta. Although the scanning she used surpassed my interpersonal magic, I knew how to explain parts of it.

She fixed her eyes in place and let out a strange voice that sounded like a machine noise. It was self-hypnosis that let her raise her powers of concentration to the extreme. A ritual designed to open her magical circuits. Normally to accomplish that you’d have to draw a magic square, mutilate yourself, or do some other form of large-scale preparation, but it seemed she didn’t need to. This was probably because she believed in her magic implicitly.

Ririko Matsumi had isolated herself from society.

A commonplace worldview leads to relatively weak magic. Furthermore, it lacks appeal. Most people recognize that they’re going to die without accomplishing anything or leaving behind and notable traces. Because it’s so unappealing, some people want to discard it. There’s plenty of types of dubious, half-baked kinds magic, like cults, that try to quietly drive away commonplace worldviews.

Ririko Matsumi is a person who discarded her commonplace worldview.

“Miki, do you know anyone who became unable to go back?”

I did.

I knew of someone other than Ririko Matsumi.

And the person who drove her to that point was none other than myself.

“Nope. I just know this all in the abstract.”

I lied.

I didn’t have faith in myself to explain it right now.

“Huh.”

Kouta casually saw through my lie. He had to have seen through it. But because he was Kouta, he didn’t follow up on it.

And yet—

Discomfort.

The discomfort I had been looking for was right here.

“Miki, is something wrong?”

Kouta gazed at me worriedly. He was staring at me. It was like he was trying to peer into me.

That’s it. Those eyes. Kouta’s eyes weren’t like that before. Kouta was analyzing my responses.

Kouta excelled at understanding others. But he never cared about their motives. He simply understood things as they were. It was precisely because he didn’t care that he didn’t have an attribute.

“Miki? What’s going on? Is it something I [1]did?”

I knew. A man whose eyes looked like that.

A man who called himself “I” like that.

Masato Yahara.


I lightly touched the red hair band, which appeared completely ordinary, that was keeping up my hair. It was an inexpensive hair band, the kind you could buy anywhere. But because it held up my hair, the place in my body most densely packed with magic, almost every day, it had gradually changed into something special. Perhaps if the right person looked at it, it would appear to glow orange.

I had a means to release him from the curse. For Kouta’s sake, I resolved to use this hair band in the most effective way possible.

But, why?

Even though I was doing it for Kouta’s sake, it felt like I was betraying him.


Translator's Notes and References[edit]

  1. This... doesn't translate super neatly. Essentially, Japanese has a number of variants on the word "I", with Kouta generally using a more polite, reserved masculine I ("boku") and Masato using a less polite, aggressive masculine I ("ore"). Throughout the story, all instances of "ore" are going to be and have been bolded, as those both plot-relevant and sort-of bolded in the original text.
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