Mahouka: TLC Thread

[edricklim]

Thanks Rava.
Yeah that makes more sense

[ChaosGentry]

Volume 3 Chapter 1 "BS Magicians, also known as BS ability users, could also be called innate ability users or innate magic specialists. This was because they excelled at a particular ability, but because of this extreme specialization, they were unable to use magic techniques like other Magicians of the same level. "

Was this a typo?

"This was because they excelled at a particular ability, and because of this extreme specialization, they were unable to use magic techniques like other Magicians of the same level."

It makes more sense like this.

I've taken the liberty of changing this part.

[denormative]

Volume 3 Chapter 1 "BS Magicians, also known as BS ability users, could also be called innate ability users or innate magic specialists. This was because they excelled at a particular ability, but because of this extreme specialization, they were unable to use magic techniques like other Magicians of the same level. "

Was this a typo?

"This was because they excelled at a particular ability, and because of this extreme specialization, they were unable to use magic techniques like other Magicians of the same level."

It makes more sense like this.

I've taken the liberty of changing this part.

FYI, the original makes perfect sense and IMO flows better. I think it's a difference between UK/AU/US English though as to which one is preferred. The reason is because the "and" feels like they're two implying incidental clauses tied together (before you et to the "because of"), whereas the "but" feels like "as a result of" or "however" implying there is a relationship between the two before you spell it out.

[ChaosGentry]

Hmm... You're right denormative. After re-reading the sentence, "but" does flow better than "and". At the time I was thinking that the usage of "but" was contradicting the earlier part of the sentence rather than describing the part after it.

[carinderyeah]

Just posted in another thread about me wanting to edit a phrase of this series. My post was not given any attention, though maybe because of some friction in the threads heartwarming sharing, I went right ahead and just want you guys to know I edited a part of Vol. 4 Ch. 8 because the phrase reads weird to me. If you find it much more weirder , please go ahead and make the necessary changes . See ya guys, love this series, I feel that Vol. 5 is still crawling though. But all the best and god bless.

P.S. Is this the right thread to post this? maybe because that is why my post wasn't given any attention, I posted it in the wrong thread. Is it?

[azneas]

In chapter 12 for this passage:

"Anything that the right hand pointed at faded away into dust.


-- Divine Left --


Soldiers on the brink of death would revive when the left hand fell upon them.


-- Demon Right -- "

Did the author switch around the two descriptions on purpose? It would logically make more sense if name was associated with what it did. Ex:

"Anything that the right hand pointed at faded away into dust.

-- Demon Right --

Soldiers on the brink of death would revive when the left hand fell upon them.

-- Divine Left --"



Unless divine left killed and demon right cured?

[thelazyguy]

Not sure what Chinese source Dreyakis used, but his translation is correct.

枪弹和榴弹都在空中如云雾般消散。
那只右手指向的东西，全部化作尘埃消失。

――DivineLeft――

那只左手指向的士兵会从死亡的边缘苏醒

――DemonRight――

那只右手指向的人和机械都会消失。

Everything above DivineLeft is part of a different paragraph. Literal translation from me would be something like what follows. Dreyakis's translation flows better.

Bullets and grenades dissipated from the air like mist.
Objects which the right hand pointed towards became dust and disappeared.

DivineLeft
Soldiers which the left hand pointed towards would be revived (brought back) from the brink of death.

DivineRight
People and machinery which the right hand pointed towards would disappear.

[thelazyguy]

Double post. Is this suppose to be here or general thread...

Mayumi在直升机中，向那个士兵“o(>﹏<)o”的吐出了舌头
Tatsuya在灰色面罩的里面，清楚的看到了Mayumi的做鬼脸表情。

On the helicopter, Mayumi stuck her tongue out at that soldier.
Beneath his gray mask, Tatsuya clearly beheld Mayumi making a funny face at him.

Was the emoticon only in Chinese translation I use, and not the Japanese original? It was basically what sealed me shipping Tatsuya x Mayumi. >.>

[Rava]

Just posted in another thread about me wanting to edit a phrase of this series. My post was not given any attention, though maybe because of some friction in the threads heartwarming sharing, I went right ahead and just want you guys to know I edited a part of Vol. 4 Ch. 8 because the phrase reads weird to me. If you find it much more weirder , please go ahead and make the necessary changes . See ya guys, love this series, I feel that Vol. 5 is still crawling though. But all the best and god bless.

P.S. Is this the right thread to post this? maybe because that is why my post wasn't given any attention, I posted it in the wrong thread. Is it?

You're correct that "Here lays a problem" is wrong, but "Here lies the problem" changes an indirect meaning. Flipped it to "Here lay a problem" since the only thing wrong with it was lay.

[Rava]

TLC Request for Volume 8, Chapter 12:

Page 291:
"Rumble scattered everywhere at Lu Gonghu's feet from the impact."
Should this really be rubble instead of rumble, or should it be rumbling?

Page 292:
The downward swing of the odachi did not violently impact on the ground, but bounced upwards and sliced towards Lu Gonghu's abdomen. The inertia of the downward swing hadn't been lost, but the inertia of the downward swing was maintained. This was one of the alternate techniques of Yamatsunami.
The bolded sentence sounds really strange in this context. I would have expected it to be "The inertia of the downward swing hadn't been lost, but maintained." if it was supposed to carry that meaning. Is someone willing to check the original text on this, just in case there's some clarification that didn't carry over well?

[denormative]

One thing that's been annoying me is the "smacked his lips" phrase (and variants thereof) as I've never encountered it in English. I recall it feeling especially 'wrong' when encountering one of the females doing it (I think it was Fujibayashi? Can't remember.) The main problem that I have with it, is I can't work out what someone would look like "smacking their lips" nor now to do it myself.

I'm guessing in English it would be more like "pursed his lips" (squeezing lips together indicating anger/annoyance/irritation, or some form of deep thoughts relating to a problem), or "clicked his tongue" (general irritation/annoyance again).

[thelazyguy]

TLC Request for Volume 8, Chapter 12:

Page 291:
"Rumble scattered everywhere at Lu Gonghu's feet from the impact."
Should this really be rubble instead of rumble, or should it be rumbling?

Page 292:
The downward swing of the odachi did not violently impact on the ground, but bounced upwards and sliced towards Lu Gonghu's abdomen. The inertia of the downward swing hadn't been lost, but the inertia of the downward swing was maintained. This was one of the alternate techniques of Yamatsunami.
The bolded sentence sounds really strange in this context. I would have expected it to be "The inertia of the downward swing hadn't been lost, but maintained." if it was supposed to carry that meaning. Is someone willing to check the original text on this, just in case there's some clarification that didn't carry over well?

Note that I am using the Chinese translation from lightnovel.cn for my comments.

Rubble sort of works. Literal translation would be more like... "the road cracked under Lu's feet" (think how in anime when someone defends an attack successfully, the ground under their feet breaks up in a circular area).

The downward swing of the odachi did not violently impact on the ground, but bounced upwards and sliced towards Lu's abdomen. The inertia of the downward swing was (in actuality?) not normal (read: was reduced), yet inertia was restored during the reverse swing. This was one of the alternate techniques of Yamatsunami.

That's my take on that. Took a bit of liberty with the second one to get the meaning across. Think of how in anime master swordsman swings downwards, and then the blade suddenly stops and reverses into an upward swing. Like uh... in Code Geass... Tohdoh's reverse shadow slash thingy...

[Hiyono]

This is my take. Yay for Chinese translators, we can all be confused together.

"吕脚下的路面翻卷四散。"
This is a tricky one, but Drey's translation is a good one. The idea here is that the pavement (路面) beneath Lu's feet (吕脚下的) crumbled & dispersed (翻卷四散) after absorbing the impact from the attack. Conveying that idea in English loses something by being too literal.

"向下挥动的惯性并没有复原，而反斩的同时惯性却又恢复。这正是山津波的变异招数。
...
可是，虽然斩击的重量恢复了，速度却不够，不足以破坏吕的钢气功。"
"Inertia was not restored upon the swing downwards, but rather, concurrent with the slice upwards. This was a variant of Yamatsunami.

However, though the weight of the swing had been restored, its speed had not, and therefore the force of the blow was insufficient to pierce Lu's Steel Qigong."

This is a nightmare, because of the physics concept of inertia playing into the translation. This, and the following sentence, have to do with the way Yamatsunami works. I wouldn't be surprised if something was already lost in translation when the author first wrote it, and then when translated from J->C, and then again when we take a look at it .

Anyway, from my primitive understanding of inertia, this is what's being described. (Nano, save us!) Inertia is essentially an object's resistance to acceleration, and is proportional to its mass. What Yamatsunami does is temporarily "shift" the calculation of mass until a later time (the point of contact), thus minimizing the effects of inertia, and allowing for superhuman levels of acceleration. A certain minimum distance is thus necessary to allow for maximum effects of acceleration, which is why Erika needs room to use this move. Now, since force = mass * acceleration, Yamatsunami allows for the maximization of both these components: acceleration because of increased distance and decreased inertia, mass through the conservation of mass and having "delayed" the calculation until the actual point of contact.

So what's happened here is that even though the delay of the mass calculation occurred correctly, taking effect only upon the redirected swing - hence a variant of Yamatsunami, because Erika'd already stopped moving, all the effects of acceleration were lost in the initial downward slice. Thus, the full effects of Yamatsunami were unable to be seen, as half the equation had been lost.

P.S.: Drey, you're the man. This series is insanely hard to translate.

[anonon]

Pgae 291:

Original: 足元で舗装された路面がめくれ上がる。
Hiyono's literal translation coincides with the original's meaning.

"Rumble" does not fit in the meaning here: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rumble, "rubble" is probably the word intended.

Page 292:

Not sure if 脇腹 is abdomen (current translation) or flank (from Google). Not that important, though.

The first part that Hiyono quoted, in Japanese raw: 慣性を復元せずに振り下ろし、切り返しと同時に慣性を戻す。
Again, Hiyono's literal translation is on the spot.

The second part that Hiyono quoted, in Japanese raw: しかし重さはあっても速度の足りない斬り上げでは、呂の鋼気功を切り裂けない。
My attempt at translation: Although the weight is (there/restored), the upward slash doesn't have enough speed, so it fails to cut through Lu's Steel Qigong.

斬り seems to mean "cut with intent to kill" (I can't find good source for the meaning of this word), so I attempted to preserve this by using "slash".

---------------------

Current text: Upon his subordinate's report, the CO couldn't help but bitterly smack his lips.
Japanese raw: 総指揮官は部下の耳を気にするのを止めて、舌打ちを漏らした。

部下の耳 seems to be a phrase in Japanese (not just simply "subordinate's ear"). I decide to trust the current translation on this point, though.

舌打ちを漏らした, seems to mean "leaked a click from his tongue" (I know, my literal translation is terrible). But "clicked his tongue" is correct English phrase for the action; "smack one's lip" has completely different meaning (http://dictionary.reverso.net/english-c ... 27s%20lips)

[Rava]

Err, not sure what happened to anonon's post, but...

Anyway, on page 219 for Volume 8, Chapter 12, does it actually say, BC, CBRN, or something totally different? I've half a mind to revert any acronym change I see in the translation text since I'm assuming they're in English letters and not something Dreyakis is abbreviating.